Loodeeli
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Summary
“In my humble opinion there’s only three things that men should be and that is bloody, slutty, and pathetic.” And, on a good day, Draco Malfoy can be all three.
When war heroine Hermione Granger and Azkaban-tattooed war criminal Draco Malfoy are forced to wed as part of Shacklebolt’s controversial Reconciliation Act, they openly fight the match and each other—their public brawls breathlessly reported by the press.
Secretly, a deeply traumatized Draco delights in Hermione’s attention and pines for a real marriage with her—even as her forced proximity to the Black family magic irritates the cursed scar Bellatrix left on her arm, reminding her why she can never truly trust or forgive him. Then Hermione discovers that Draco’s blood will soothe the scar . . . and Draco is willing to trade his blood for her body.
(With post-war blood purity politics, black market potioneers, Pansy Parkinson’s career advice, the Malfoys blackmailing Hermione’s Wizengamot opposition, BDE Neville Longbottom hunting Death Eaters, a slutty Theo Nott serving as Draco’s right-hand man, and Crookshanks loose in Malfoy Manor.)
Series
- Part 1 of THE BLOODY, SLUTTY, AND PATHETIC SERIES
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The Utter Inconvenience of Certain Inclinations by Molivier
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
02 Sep 2025
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Summary
Draco Malfoy moves in next door. Hermione reacts, as any reasonable person would, by setting her kitchen on fire. Things continue in that general vein.
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In the summers between school, a young Hermione Granger finds companionship in a mysterious young wizard near her family’s country home in Wiltshire. They share their troubles under the comfort of their respective anonymity until one fateful encounter destroys their fragile refuge from the real world.
Years later, after a war that devastated Wizarding Europe, Hermione’s one wish is to pursue higher education for her Potions Mastery. Only, one clause leftover from deeply entrenched Muggle-born prejudice sends Hermione into the grueling social season with one goal in mind; to marry the least terrible eligible wizard.
To her misfortune, a scandalous case of mistaken identity binds her future to a man who is certain to be the worst of all. Draco Malfoy; the new Duke of Wiltshire, a war hero, and the boy who broke her heart.
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In which Draco is hit by an unfamiliar curse, affecting his magic. Hermione is a healer, specialising in magical degenerative diseases. Healing him demands copious amounts of research, forced proximity and red wine. Added bonus is pining, frisky feelings and a grumpy cat.
Set 15 years after the war, this fic features my favourite tropes, a medical mystery, a reasonable amount of snark, and a lot (a lot) of pure self-indulgence.
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Summary
Draco Malfoy has lived in isolation for more than a decade, accompanied by only the enigmatic presence of his sentient house. Everything changes when Hermione Granger shows up unexpectedly, driven by the belief that Draco holds the key to curing a mysterious illness impacting pureblood children. As both the Manor and Draco take a fondness to Hermione, it becomes clear that her departure isn’t guaranteed. The Manor wants to keep her - and Draco is tempted to agree.
Beauty and The Beast re-telling. This is part one of the "A Series of Fate" series which includes different retellings of classic fairytales.
Series
- Part 1 of A Series of Fate