Willowsimp



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  1. Public Bookmark 1

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    Summary

    Fyodor has been struggling with his emotions for a long time. He usually puts them aside, not letting it interfere in his actions. But when he meets a certain jester. He can’t seem to put these emotions aside, he starts acting ‘irrationally’, Nikolai was his priority now. His attention was focused on Nikolai’s well being. Why did he feel this? Why did he feel like loving Nikolai? He needed to take these thoughts of his mind one way or another.

    Recommend not reading if under 18 years old due to excessive self harm and emotional breakdowns
    *Very OOC*

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,984
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    11
    Kudos:
    3
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    30

    26 Oct 2025

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  2. Public Bookmark 2

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    Summary

    Fyodor had quite the important task today. He needed to remove Ivan's brain part that made him feel sadness and despair. And with all the manipulation he said to him before, he was about to have quite the useful pawn.

    Yet since he couldn’t have some random surgeon do this surgery, he had to do it himself. With an assistant. And the only one he could trust, and had resistance to such gruesome views AND was crazy enough to assist him was the infamous Nikolai Gogol.

    This promised to be quite the eventful evening.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,068
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    11
    Bookmarks:
    2
    Hits:
    121

    19 Sep 2025

    Bookmarker's Notes

    SWEET MOTHER OF FYODOR, reading upside down is a wild skill I have, do not underestimate my power.

  3. Public Bookmark 4

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    Summary

    Fyolai cheats on Dazai

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,401
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Kudos:
    33
    Bookmarks:
    4
    Hits:
    352

    07 Sep 2025

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    Bookmarker's Notes

    Bro lost all dignity

  4. Public Bookmark 3

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    Summary

    Nikolai was struggling to lose himself. Nikolai was struggling to resist god. Fyodor was the only one who understood him. The only one who reached his hand out to this poor caged bird when he needed it. Fyodor was his god. But what was Nikolai to him? Was he just another pawn on his chess board? No no no! That just won’t do.

    Nikolai will be what Fyodor needs too. He will be the one to make sure Fyodor isn’t bored, doing whatever Fyodor doesn’t expect him to do. Nikolai will be the only one who’ll survive the touch of this russian. Nikolai will be special.

    Oh, will he ever be able to free them both from the grip of their emotions? The fluttering feeling they both get when Nikolai’s hands clasp around his. And oh, if only Nikolai were a girl.

    If only he were a girl— would Fyodor finally accept him? Nikolai just wants to cage himself in Fyodor’s heart and make it beat for him. Nikolai longed to see his eyes soften towards him.

    And oh, how Fyodor couldn’t, not until he could destroy Dazai. But oh, how the cracks in his actions showed. How Fyodor would let Nikolai touch him so easily, his big hands grasping the russian’s so tightly, longingly. Fyodor ignored the flutter of his heart. Yes, it was nothing.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    7,664
    Chapters:
    3/?
    Comments:
    6
    Kudos:
    29
    Bookmarks:
    3
    Hits:
    238

    05 Aug 2025

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    Bookmarker's Notes

    READING THIS SHIT NOW (Love it)

  5. Public Bookmark 13

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    Summary

    “You’ve been agonizing over getting older again,” Nikolai deduced.

    Fyodor gave a noncommittal shrug. He wondered how Nikolai picked up on his emotions so swiftly without being able to see his expression clearly. Intuition or experience turned habit, he supposed.

    “Relax, my sweet dove.” Nikolai stooped lower, peppering open-mouthed kisses across Fyodor’s jaw and neck as he lay him down on the sheets, his hips notching comfortably between Fyodor’s thighs. He was warm. He smelled like summer. He held Fyodor like something worthy of reverence. “I don’t want you thinking any nonsense tonight. Just be with me.”

    Fyodor wrapped his arms around Nikolai’s neck and murmured against his lips. “I’m here, Kolya.”

    “Good.”

    [or: in their twenties, fyodor and nikolai decided to get hitched and raise a few cat children instead of committing brutal acts of terrorism. tonight they celebrate their 15th wedding anniversary in bed and love each other very much]

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,183
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    18
    Kudos:
    79
    Bookmarks:
    13
    Hits:
    953

    03 Aug 2025

    Bookmarker's Tags:
    Bookmarker's Notes

    OMFG THIS WAS CUTE.

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