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dabi's time travel shenanigans by thepanofyourkitchen
Fandom: 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia, 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia (Anime & Manga)
15 Jul 2025
- Words:
- 330,336
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 131
Bookmarked by crowsbeard
13 Oct 2025
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dabi's time travel shenanigans by thepanofyourkitchen
Completed: n/a
Work/Series ID: 4056574“You’re going to die if you eat all of that,” he says, staring at the pile of chicken in front of him in genuine horror. “You would make a vegetarian cry if they saw this.”
“You’ve literally killed people, Dabi,” Hawks states calmly, raising a chicken wing to his lips and taking a slow deliberate bite. Only after he swallows does he continue, “You have no right to shame me.”
“At least these people did something to me.” In most cases. Sometimes. “What did the poultry ever do to you?”
“Tasted good.”
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quiet like a fight by shanatical
Fandoms: 殺戮の天使 | Satsuriku no Tenshi (Video Game), 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia
24 Feb 2021
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The odyssey of Rachel Gardner, who isn't actually as Quirkless as she once thought and has zero compunctions against using that to get what she wants.
Being stuck in Japan is a bit more of a hurdle than a death sentence and a high security institution, but she and Zack have dealt with steeper odds, she's pretty sure. Plus Ultra, as they say.
note: while the overall tone is intended to be humorous, this story will involve heavy themes of coming to terms with past abuse, maladaptive coping mechanisms, suicidal ideation, irresponsible divergence from medication schedules, depictions of gratuitous violence and gore, codependency withdrawal, and strong language, among others- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 84,517
- Chapters:
- 12/?
- Comments:
- 1,015
- Kudos:
- 4,534
- Bookmarks:
- 1,486
- Hits:
- 147,270
Bookmarked by crowsbeard
12 Oct 2025
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quiet like a fight by shanatical
Completed: n/a
Work/Series ID: 15502224Work Summary
The odyssey of Rachel Gardner, who isn't actually as Quirkless as she once thought and has zero compunctions against using that to get what she wants.
Being stuck in Japan is a bit more of a hurdle than a death sentence and a high security institution, but she and Zack have dealt with steeper odds, she's pretty sure. Plus Ultra, as they say.
note: while the overall tone is intended to be humorous, this story will involve heavy themes of coming to terms with past abuse, maladaptive coping mechanisms, suicidal ideation, irresponsible divergence from medication schedules, depictions of gratuitous violence and gore, codependency withdrawal, and strong language, among others
A very large part of Option Three depends on her thinking. Much, much larger than previously anticipated.
In the event that she gets caught and Zack gets away, they had decided that the best bet would be for Zack to lay low as best he can, while Rachel makes as much of a spectacle of herself as she can. The plan had unknowingly hinged on the belief that she would not be leaving the continent; that, in a worst case scenario she would be sent to some sleepy little town on the opposite end of the country, or maybe Canada. Somewhere Zack could have feasibly made his way to, once given enough of a sign.
Obviously, they have underestimated the authorities this time.
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To Murder a God (Rewrite) by scripturiented
Fandoms: 백작가의 망나니가 되었다 - 유려한 | Lout of Count's Family | Trash of the Count's Family - Yulyeohan, 어느날 공주가 되어버렸다 | Who Made Me A Princess (Webcomic)
28 Aug 2025
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Cale Henituse wakes in a different world, and it would all be according to plan if it weren't for two things: the God of Death's Mirror has disappeared into thin air, and this was not Aipotu. Instead of dragons aspiring to godhood, there's much talk of an Emperor losing his marbles, his once-beloved daughter becoming a wanted fugitive, and a vengeful ghost trying to overthrow the government. But, seriously, it's none of Cale's business.
This wasn't on the roster of worlds to save, the body he's in is half-dead, none of his allies are with him, there's a god out there that he must kill, and most importantly of all, Cale hates hard work.
If only Felix Robane hadn't forced him to come to that damn debutante ball.
Bookmarked by crowsbeard
08 Oct 2025
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To Murder a God (Rewrite) by scripturiented
Completed: n/a
Work/Series ID: 69949861Work Summary
Cale Henituse wakes in a different world, and it would all be according to plan if it weren't for two things: the God of Death's Mirror has disappeared into thin air, and this was not Aipotu. Instead of dragons aspiring to godhood, there's much talk of an Emperor losing his marbles, his once-beloved daughter becoming a wanted fugitive, and a vengeful ghost trying to overthrow the government. But, seriously, it's none of Cale's business.
This wasn't on the roster of worlds to save, the body he's in is half-dead, none of his allies are with him, there's a god out there that he must kill, and most importantly of all, Cale hates hard work.
If only Felix Robane hadn't forced him to come to that damn debutante ball.
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The Boy and His Star (they'll never be the same) by Forget me-eternally-blissfully (BariToni)
Fandoms: 백작가의 망나니가 되었다 - 유려한 | Lout of Count's Family | Trash of the Count's Family - Yulyeohan
09 Apr 2025
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Roksu is having a bad day. He got sold by his uncle, barely escaped the slavers by crashing the carriage at the cost of everyone inside, and when he took one look at the sky in a self deprecating fashion, he accidentally caused a star to fall. This isn't the start of his main character arc, right? Right??
Bookmarked by crowsbeard
07 Oct 2025
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The Boy and His Star (they'll never be the same) by Forget me-eternally-blissfully (BariToni)
Completed: n/a
Work/Series ID: 64101292Work Summary
Roksu is having a bad day. He got sold by his uncle, barely escaped the slavers by crashing the carriage at the cost of everyone inside, and when he took one look at the sky in a self deprecating fashion, he accidentally caused a star to fall. This isn't the start of his main character arc, right? Right??
Roksu looks up at that young face and blinks. This... is a star?
It didn't fit his expectations, but the appearance also oddly fit the name, 'star.' He knows that he won't be able to think of a star without thinking of this teenager after this.
Roksu's reddish brown eyes meet the onyx eyes. They burrow into each other, trying to dig up answers, yet both finding none.
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Three Time's The Charm! by IcedBasil
Fandoms: 人渣反派自救系统 - 墨香铜臭 | The Scum Villain's Self-Saving System - Mòxiāng Tóngxiù, 백작가의 망나니가 되었다 - 유려한 | Lout of Count's Family | Trash of the Count's Family - Yulyeohan
05 Oct 2025
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Cale wakes up one morning. What's different about this morning is that he's staring at the sky. A sky that he wasn't looking at when he went to sleep.
Why is he sleeping on dirt? Where the hell is he?!
AKA Cale transmigrates into the PIDW/SVSSS universe. The plot is starting soon (I think). I'm trying.
Bookmarked by crowsbeard
06 Oct 2025
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Three Time's The Charm! by IcedBasil
Completed: n/a
Work/Series ID: 66093781Work Summary
Cale wakes up one morning. What's different about this morning is that he's staring at the sky. A sky that he wasn't looking at when he went to sleep.
Why is he sleeping on dirt? Where the hell is he?!
AKA Cale transmigrates into the PIDW/SVSSS universe. The plot is starting soon (I think). I'm trying.
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Help! I Transmigrated into a Novel and Now I Share a Body with the Evil Duke's Son Who Thinks I'm a God and It Makes Him Horny by svenituse (svensationalist)
Fandoms: 백작가의 망나니가 되었다 - 유려한 | Lout of Count's Family | Trash of the Count's Family - Yulyeohan
01 Dec 2023
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Kim Roksu has read enough webnovels to immediately understand, at least on a theoretical level, what transpired since he fell asleep in the middle of reading a new fantasy series.
On a practical level, however? He might start screaming.
***
Kim Roksu transmigrates into Clopeh Sekka's body. He hates it here.
Bookmarked by crowsbeard
06 Oct 2025
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Help! I Transmigrated into a Novel and Now I Share a Body with the Evil Duke's Son Who Thinks I'm a God and It Makes Him Horny by svenituse (svensationalist)
Completed: n/a
Work/Series ID: 51903061Work Summary
Kim Roksu has read enough webnovels to immediately understand, at least on a theoretical level, what transpired since he fell asleep in the middle of reading a new fantasy series.
On a practical level, however? He might start screaming.
***
Kim Roksu transmigrates into Clopeh Sekka's body. He hates it here.“Yes! I will serve my god! For the birth of A LEGEND!!”
Oh for fuck’s sake. Roksu thought he was finally getting somewhere but apparently not. This is likely the best he can manage though, so he’ll take what he can get.
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Stopping By Woods on a Snowy Evening by y1y1
Fandoms: 백작가의 망나니가 되었다 - 유려한 | Lout of Count's Family | Trash of the Count's Family - Yulyeohan
31 Jul 2025
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Falling snow and fading footfalls. The only sound to accompany Kim Rok Soo in this dreary world.
Kim Rok Soo wakes to an entirely new world, not entirely human anymore. Tattered wings and broken horns pointed skyward, he's all too close to that of a demon. And he's alone – swathed in silence and snow, embraced by solitude and sorrow. But Kim Rok Soo always rolls with the punches life sends his way. Picks himself up and struggles to his feet, carries himself forward when burdens seek to drag him back. This will be no different than the last.
Demon/inhuman!KRS
Based off the poem "Stopping By Woods on a Snowy Evening" by Robert Frost
Series
- Part 2 of non-human KRS
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 14,116
- Chapters:
- 2/?
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 62
- Kudos:
- 236
- Bookmarks:
- 47
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- 1,962
Bookmarked by crowsbeard
04 Oct 2025
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Stopping By Woods on a Snowy Evening by y1y1
Completed: n/a
Work/Series ID: 66358762Work Summary
Falling snow and fading footfalls. The only sound to accompany Kim Rok Soo in this dreary world.
Kim Rok Soo wakes to an entirely new world, not entirely human anymore. Tattered wings and broken horns pointed skyward, he's all too close to that of a demon. And he's alone – swathed in silence and snow, embraced by solitude and sorrow. But Kim Rok Soo always rolls with the punches life sends his way. Picks himself up and struggles to his feet, carries himself forward when burdens seek to drag him back. This will be no different than the last.
Demon/inhuman!KRS
Based off the poem "Stopping By Woods on a Snowy Evening" by Robert Frost
Jour hums cheerily, watching contentedly as Kim Rok Soo eats a piece of steak. “I’ll tell you another time. For now, let’s just say I want to research you!”
Kim Rok Soo pauses, fork halfway to his mouth, and shivers. Images of scalpels and facemasks flash through his mind. Don’t tell him…this was actually the front for a human—no, demon—trafficking business?! “Like…a lab subject?”
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Moments in Motion by Amaliala
Fandoms: 백작가의 망나니가 되었다 - 유려한 | Lout of Count's Family | Trash of the Count's Family - Yulyeohan
01 Oct 2024
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Summary
His house is getting attacked from all directions, and the only thing Ron could do is run, trying to find Beacrox in the chaos.
He suddenly froze when he saw an unfamiliar man with red hair drag his son behind him.
Without letting a single second slow him down, Ron jumped over the fence with a menacing look on his face, zeroing in on the enemy trying to abduct his son.
Ron just doesn’t realize yet that the mystery man will be the reason he and his family can escape alive.
Bookmarked by crowsbeard
04 Oct 2025
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Moments in Motion by Amaliala
Completed: 1/10/24
Work/Series ID: 59359795Work Summary
His house is getting attacked from all directions, and the only thing Ron could do is run, trying to find Beacrox in the chaos.
He suddenly froze when he saw an unfamiliar man with red hair drag his son behind him.
Without letting a single second slow him down, Ron jumped over the fence with a menacing look on his face, zeroing in on the enemy trying to abduct his son.
Ron just doesn’t realize yet that the mystery man will be the reason he and his family can escape alive.
“My name is Cale.”
An ordinary name, but Beacrox’s eyes lit up.
The next time Ron blinked, he was gone without a sound.
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I'm not a Saint! by ThineHighness
Fandoms: 백작가의 망나니가 되었다 - 유려한 | Lout of Count's Family | Trash of the Count's Family - Yulyeohan
25 May 2025
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Summary
Rok Soo wakes up in the Forest of Darkness as a baby. Double surprise, Choi Han finds him and immediately adopts him. Triple surprise, He's supposedly the God of Death's saint?
Rok Soo is not happy about any of this.
--
AKA: I try my hand at writing a TCF fic for the first time since this idea has been scratching at my brain for months and I couldn't find another one exactly like it. Characters might be a little OOC since I'm pretty new at this, but I hope you guys like it!Bookmarked by crowsbeard
04 Oct 2025
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I'm not a Saint! by ThineHighness
Completed: n/a
Work/Series ID: 62077405Work Summary
Rok Soo wakes up in the Forest of Darkness as a baby. Double surprise, Choi Han finds him and immediately adopts him. Triple surprise, He's supposedly the God of Death's saint?
Rok Soo is not happy about any of this.
--
AKA: I try my hand at writing a TCF fic for the first time since this idea has been scratching at my brain for months and I couldn't find another one exactly like it. Characters might be a little OOC since I'm pretty new at this, but I hope you guys like it! -
a dog and a cat meet in... their bedroom?! by dirtmemer
Fandoms: Alien Stage (Web Series)
01 Jun 2024
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Till always thinks he’s learned his lesson about trusting Ivan, but somehow he always ends up like this: naked in Ivan’s bed.
Bookmarked by crowsbeard
03 Oct 2025
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a dog and a cat meet in... their bedroom?! by dirtmemer
Completed: 1/6/24
Work/Series ID: 56336791Work Summary
Till always thinks he’s learned his lesson about trusting Ivan, but somehow he always ends up like this: naked in Ivan’s bed.
Ivan is halfway into his thesis on why Till should let him put his dick in Till’s hole with vivid, raving detail when Till starts getting tired of his yapping, so he says: “Fine, okay, just shut up and put it in already,” and Ivan perks up, eyes shining with gratifying gratitude.
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Summary
Till is sick, and Ivan is a wonderful caretaker.
- Words:
- 17,311
- Works:
- 2
- Bookmarks:
- 24
Bookmarked by crowsbeard
30 Sep 2025
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Cough Syrup by aryu
Completed: 8/3/25
Work/Series ID: 4693888Work Summary
Till is sick, and Ivan is a wonderful caretaker.
In a combination of exertion and being sick, he doesn’t feel cold right now. He’s soaking wet and congested, and his throat burns, but he’s not cold. Small miracles or whatever the fuck.
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He couldn’t say where the idea had come from. Perhaps from the heat in Ivan’s gaze when he looked from the unfinished artwork to Till, mouth open, tiny spots of pink high on his cheekbones.
Bookmarked by crowsbeard
30 Sep 2025
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smudged to imperfection by Ezray
Completed: 26/9/25
Work/Series ID: 71399856Work Summary
He couldn’t say where the idea had come from. Perhaps from the heat in Ivan’s gaze when he looked from the unfinished artwork to Till, mouth open, tiny spots of pink high on his cheekbones
“I don't know how charcoal works,” Ivan says, sounding more cheerful by the word. “But I hope the picture has an imprint of your ass on it.”
Till snorts. “Don't joke, it actually might.”
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An unplanned late night visit to the cemetery results in an unexpected confrontation. There is not enough alcohol in the world to erase this crap.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 3,684
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 70
- Kudos:
- 4,485
- Bookmarks:
- 756
- Hits:
- 29,320
Bookmarked by crowsbeard
27 Sep 2025
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Officially, This Didn't Happen by Fitz
Completed: 27/4/15
Work/Series ID: 3829519Work Summary
An unplanned late night visit to the cemetery results in an unexpected confrontation. There is not enough alcohol in the world to erase this crap.
“Dude, is that stick up your ass because you’re in mourning, or are you always like this?” Dean grunted.
“I’m always like this,” Hotch replied bluntly.
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Summary
Broad as he was tall, mean as sin with a nasty temper, Arthur Morgan had a reputation. A terrifying one. He was gruff and crude and his patience was a thin as ice in early spring, splintering and cracking at the slightest of provocations.
John had learned well quick of what not to say or do, and more importantly, how to avoid him.
He was never much good at that
Series
- Part 3 of Whumptober 2021
Bookmarked by crowsbeard
21 Sep 2025
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Nobody by Emmithar
Completed: 3/10/21
Work/Series ID: 34243582Work Summary
Broad as he was tall, mean as sin with a nasty temper, Arthur Morgan had a reputation. A terrifying one. He was gruff and crude and his patience was a thin as ice in early spring, splintering and cracking at the slightest of provocations.
John had learned well quick of what not to say or do, and more importantly, how to avoid him.
He was never much good at that
John couldn't quite hear what was said, but he felt himself pale as Arthur motioned over his shoulder at him. He could see the man scowl.
“Yeah, I done put him in his place. Next time that little shit might think twice, before stealing from me.”
John wasn't sure if it was what he had said, or perhaps how he had said it, but it was most certainly wrong. Wrong in such a way that he saw Arthur flush red from behind. He tensed as the man curled his fist, closing that gap in a few short strides.
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“'m hunting,” the man muttered, his focus solely on the arrow in his hand. He managed to tie that arrow off, and shakily moved to the next. “Hunting squirrels.”
Charles blinked.
“Squirrels?”
“Yup,” Arthur emphasized the word, tying off another arrow. “Woods are full of them.”
“They are,” Charles agreed quietly, watching with an edge of concern. “Does this...bother you?”
“Little bastards,” he growled, with vitriol Charles had only heard when Arthur spoke of the likes of Pinkertons or O’Driscoll’s, “Fast, fast little shits. Weavin’ all up and down, back n’ forth, runnin’ and laughin’ like they know somethin’, “ he held up the newly fashioned arrow with a grin, “We’ll see who’s laughin’ when I’m through with ‘em. We— we’ll see who knows somethin!”
That concern was growing.
Bookmarked by crowsbeard
17 Sep 2025
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Up a Tree by Emmithar
Completed: 28/1/22
Work/Series ID: 36711178Work Summary
“'m hunting,” the man muttered, his focus solely on the arrow in his hand. He managed to tie that arrow off, and shakily moved to the next. “Hunting squirrels.”
Charles blinked.
“Squirrels?”
“Yup,” Arthur emphasized the word, tying off another arrow. “Woods are full of them.”
“They are,” Charles agreed quietly, watching with an edge of concern. “Does this...bother you?”
“Little bastards,” he growled, with vitriol Charles had only heard when Arthur spoke of the likes of Pinkertons or O’Driscoll’s, “Fast, fast little shits. Weavin’ all up and down, back n’ forth, runnin’ and laughin’ like they know somethin’, “ he held up the newly fashioned arrow with a grin, “We’ll see who’s laughin’ when I’m through with ‘em. We— we’ll see who knows somethin!”
That concern was growing.
“You aren't going to wear it?”
The man scoffed. “Like hell. Looks like roadkill.”
He took off, leaving Charles behind, open-mouthed and fully perplexed. After all that shit they went through to get those damn …. And Arthur just— he didn’t even—
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still-living roots consumed by the flame by axxyl
Fandoms: Thunderbolts (Movie 2025), Captain America (Chris Evans Movies)
16 May 2025
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Summary
Yelena hadn’t recognized him. She hadn’t comprehended the possibility that this mangled body before her, full of fear and youth, could be the tired man walking up behind her now. It was hard to imagine Barnes ever being so naive and young, so inexperienced and scared, but here he was. No imagination necessary.
*
When the Thunderbolts punch through Bob’s shame rooms in an attempt to escape the Void, some of Bucky’s memories make it through.
A take on Bucky’s shame rooms, through Yelena’s eyes.
Bookmarked by crowsbeard
16 Sep 2025
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still-living roots consumed by the flame by axxyl
Completed: 16/5/25
Work/Series ID: 65601484Work Summary
Yelena hadn’t recognized him. She hadn’t comprehended the possibility that this mangled body before her, full of fear and youth, could be the tired man walking up behind her now. It was hard to imagine Barnes ever being so naive and young, so inexperienced and scared, but here he was. No imagination necessary.
*
When the Thunderbolts punch through Bob’s shame rooms in an attempt to escape the Void, some of Bucky’s memories make it through.A take on Bucky’s shame rooms, through Yelena’s eyes.
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to memory now I can't recall by Etharei
Fandoms: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
24 Nov 2014
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Summary
While on a mission storming a HYDRA facility, James Buchanan Barnes touches one of the many strange alien devices collected by the Red Skull. He does this, in fact, twice— in the past, and in the future.
Next thing he knows, Bucky Barnes is opening his eyes in the 21st century, which is full of great gadgets and coffee, and at least includes his old pal Steve. (And, inexplicably, a different Stark.) Meanwhile, the Winter Soldier finds himself in the middle of World War Two, helping Captain America hunt down HYDRA (which is at least familiar), pretending to be Bucky Barnes (which is not), and figuring out the very noisy group of soldiers who call themselves the Howling Commandos.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 102,610
- Chapters:
- 16/16
- Collections:
- 23
- Comments:
- 1,696
- Kudos:
- 17,711
- Bookmarks:
- 7,439
- Hits:
- 395,181
Bookmarked by crowsbeard
15 Sep 2025
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to memory now I can't recall by Etharei
Completed: 24/11/14
Work/Series ID: 2660255Work Summary
While on a mission storming a HYDRA facility, James Buchanan Barnes touches one of the many strange alien devices collected by the Red Skull. He does this, in fact, twice— in the past, and in the future.
Next thing he knows, Bucky Barnes is opening his eyes in the 21st century, which is full of great gadgets and coffee, and at least includes his old pal Steve. (And, inexplicably, a different Stark.) Meanwhile, the Winter Soldier finds himself in the middle of World War Two, helping Captain America hunt down HYDRA (which is at least familiar), pretending to be Bucky Barnes (which is not), and figuring out the very noisy group of soldiers who call themselves the Howling Commandos.
"Pleased to meet you, Mr. Stark. I should probably tell you that you look like your old man, but actually, aside from the hair, you don't look much like him at all."
For some reason this seems to cheer Stark up a lot. "Thanks. You're the first person in years who's said that. Here, have a lollipop."
Bucky doesn't expect to be tossed an actual lollipop, which lands on his chest. He's surprised Steve hasn't let go of his hand despite the arrival of his friend —teammate?— but he's not about to let go first, especially since Steve's warm (if crushing) grip is the only thing convincing him he's awake.
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Bob runs the social media for the New Avengers. He accidentally posts a photo of Sam and Bucky making out. People lose their minds.
Bookmarked by crowsbeard
14 Sep 2025
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Exit Sign Romance by Heathers_Corn_Nuts
Completed: 7/5/25
Work/Series ID: 65351986Work Summary
Bob runs the social media for the New Avengers. He accidentally posts a photo of Sam and Bucky making out. People lose their minds.
“I didn’t know they were kissing! It was blurry! I thought it was, like, brooding or whispering or something!”
Bucky turned toward Sam, mock-pensive. “Do we brood while whispering?”
“Sometimes,” Sam replied, grinning. “But we usually stop before it gets tongue-involved.”
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Friends Don't Get Lipsy When They Get Tipsy by SunsetMaiden
Fandoms: The Falcon and the Winter Soldier (TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thunderbolts (Movies), Captain America (Movies), Captain America (Anthony Mackie Movies), Thunderbolts (Movie 2025)
21 Sep 2023
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Summary
Bucky’s voice faded out, Sam gripping the phone as a slew of thoughts assailed him at once–none of them good. “Buck, talk to me. Are you hurt?”
“Yeah…yeah…I think so.”
“Stay with me, focus.”
“Yeah, it’s bad. My heart.”
His heart?! “Your heart?” Sam fought off a wave of dizziness, his chest tight and throat constricted as he struggled to take a deep breath.
“Definitely my heart. That’s why I called you. Who else…am…I gonna call with a hurt heart?”
Series
- Part 9 of Friends Don't
Bookmarked by crowsbeard
14 Sep 2025
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Friends Don't Get Lipsy When They Get Tipsy by SunsetMaiden
Completed: 21/9/23
Work/Series ID: 49472773Work Summary
Bucky’s voice faded out, Sam gripping the phone as a slew of thoughts assailed him at once–none of them good. “Buck, talk to me. Are you hurt?”
“Yeah…yeah…I think so.”
“Stay with me, focus.”
“Yeah, it’s bad. My heart.”
His heart?! “Your heart?” Sam fought off a wave of dizziness, his chest tight and throat constricted as he struggled to take a deep breath.
“Definitely my heart. That’s why I called you. Who else…am…I gonna call with a hurt heart?”
“I’m never forgetting you. Hydra could reemerge an’ put me in the machine, and you’d still be there. If Steve could get through, there’s no stopping you now that I’ve known you this way.”
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the goatfucking paradigm by Lies_Unfurl
Fandoms: The Falcon and the Winter Soldier (TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Captain America (Movies)
24 Nov 2023
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Summary
“A man walks into the bar. The bartender says, ‘Aye, tell me, what’s got you lookin’ so upset?’
“So the man shakes his head and sighs, and then he says, ‘It’s just not fair. I’ve laid down walls all around my village, and do they call me O’Malley the Mason? No. For decades my fields have been blooming and bountiful, but do they call me O’Malley the Farmer? No. I’ve put shoes on more horses than I can count, but do they call me O’Malley the Smith? No! But you fuck one goat…'
“Except I’ve never fucked a goat,” Bucky adds after a moment. “I just shot the president.”
(or: influencer apology video, but it's Bucky Barnes and the Kennedy Assassination.)
Bookmarked by crowsbeard
14 Sep 2025
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Work Details
the goatfucking paradigm by Lies_Unfurl
Completed: 24/11/23
Work/Series ID: 51772684Work Summary
“A man walks into the bar. The bartender says, ‘Aye, tell me, what’s got you lookin’ so upset?’
“So the man shakes his head and sighs, and then he says, ‘It’s just not fair. I’ve laid down walls all around my village, and do they call me O’Malley the Mason? No. For decades my fields have been blooming and bountiful, but do they call me O’Malley the Farmer? No. I’ve put shoes on more horses than I can count, but do they call me O’Malley the Smith? No! But you fuck one goat…'
“Except I’ve never fucked a goat,” Bucky adds after a moment. “I just shot the president.”
(or: influencer apology video, but it's Bucky Barnes and the Kennedy Assassination.)
Before he can complete that thought, the camera shakes a little, and the sound of many vibrations all at once reverberate through the speakers.
“Sorry,” Bucky says, “that’s my PR person—I thought I blocked her number—oh. Uh, so, it looks like that’s all the time we have. Again. I’m so sorry I killed the JFKs. I want everyone to know that I’ve grown as a person, and who I was back then doesn’t reflect my values today, and—”
The livestream cuts out with an abruptness that strongly suggests that the government just took out whatever they were using to get internet out on the ocean.