18 Works by wtfrenchtoast

Listing Works

  1. Tags
    Summary

    “Peter really likes you,” Steve says quietly. “Just thought you should know.”

    “Um, I really like him too,” you reply quickly. “I do. I wouldn’t let just anyone do to me what...what he was doing.” Immediately after the words leave your mouth you wish you could yank them back in. You’re blushing furiously but the car is dark, so hopefully you’re the only one who notices.

    You catch Steve’s half-smile in the passing streetlights. “It’s alright. Peter’s a good kid, I trust him.” Which isn’t really what you were saying, but then his next words are, “You’re a beautiful girl, sweetheart. Stunning, really.” His eyes travel down your body, just once. “Pete’s a lucky boy. If Bucky and I were closer to your age, we’d both be fighting him for your attention.”

    ***

    Steve and Bucky take a particular interest in their foster son, Peter's, new girlfriend.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    25,086
    Chapters:
    8/8
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    223
    Kudos:
    2,421
    Bookmarks:
    494
    Hits:
    93,427
  2. Tags
    Summary

    So, you were visited by another you from another dimension. Walk it off.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    66
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    7
    Kudos:
    52
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    687
  3. Tags
    Summary

    Bucky finds a popular sex toy modeled on Captain America's own anatomy. Well, isn't this just perfect? Because even after all this time, he still hasn’t seen Steve’s supersoldier cock. But apparently in this day and age anyone with $29.95 can get a decent replica. The unfairness of this is of galactic proportions.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    26
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    16
    Kudos:
    107
    Bookmarks:
    23
    Hits:
    3,293
  4. Tags
    Summary

    Steve crouched down again, slowly, so he was on the same level as Bucky. “You remember me?” he asked desperately.

    Bucky looked down at the portal remote Steve still held, then narrowed his eyes when he met Steve’s. “You let some yahoo experiment on you again, didn’t you? Some mad scientist said, ‘hold my beer,’ and you pushed the button, right?”

    Podfic of the sequel to mandarou's Dishonor on Your Cow

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    268
    Chapters:
    20/20
    Comments:
    58
    Kudos:
    183
    Bookmarks:
    23
    Hits:
    6,916
  5. Tags
    Summary

    “Ladies and gentlemen of the jury,” Peggy says, “These are the times that try men’s souls.”

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    36
    Chapters:
    7/7
    Comments:
    44
    Kudos:
    129
    Bookmarks:
    39
    Hits:
    4,086
  6. Tags
    Summary

    “Sergeant Barnes?”

    “Oh, hell no, don’t call him that, man,” Sam warned.

    “Captain Fuck Off!” Barnes shouted over him. “Fight me!”

    Steve didn’t know whether to laugh or just slink away. He managed to combine the two by pacing two steps and snorting instead. Like a bull.

    “I’m gonna need you to calm your ass, Barnes,” Sam said as he went limp again, obstructing Barnes’s struggling under him. “This is so undignified. That is Captain goddamn America.”

    “Captain goddamn America!” Barnes repeated, louder. And angrier.

    Steve cleared his throat again. “I’ve been looking for you,” he told Barnes.

    “I hope you brought lube this time!” Barnes shouted.

    ***

    Podfic of mandarou's amazing Dishonor on Your Cow

    **Update - I fixed an issue with Chapter 18 where the audio was all screwy, so if you downloaded that chapter, it's fixed now!

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    236
    Chapters:
    20/20
    Comments:
    84
    Kudos:
    288
    Bookmarks:
    86
    Hits:
    15,606
  7. Tags
    Summary

    “Hi, everybody, this is your Cousin Brucie. Whoa! Our summer romances are in full bloom, and everybody, but everybody's in love. So cousins, here's a great song from The Four Seasons.”

    That was the summer of 1963 - when everybody called me Stevie and it didn't occur to me to mind. That was before President Kennedy was shot, before the Beatles came, when I couldn't wait to join the Peace Corps, and I thought I'd never find a guy as great as my dad. That was the summer we went to Phillips’.

    Hopelessly enamored with the resort's smoking hot dance instructor, eighteen-year-old Steve Rogers finds himself in way over his head.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    13,489
    Chapters:
    4/7
    Comments:
    22
    Kudos:
    84
    Bookmarks:
    15
    Hits:
    1,228
  8. Tags
    Summary

    “I know what hypothermia is,” Steve bristled as he pulled the electric blanket tighter around his slight shoulders.

    “Yes. Yes, you do. You know what it is because you went out for a six-hour stroll through Midtown, on the coldest night of the year, without a coat on. Without. A. Coat.” Bucky really, really wanted the satisfaction of letting him sit there and try to decide which part of this decision was actually the dumbest.

    “I didn’t start out without a coat,” Steve argued.

    “What, so you were out and about and thought that the negative-twenty-five wind chill was balmy enough for short sleeves? The mayor was crying wolf when he declared a State of Emergency for the whole damn city?”

    ****************

    Or, the Nurse!Bucky/reckless art student!Steve AU where at least Bucky gets paid to take care of Steve's self-sacrificing ass.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,721
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    23
    Kudos:
    470
    Bookmarks:
    67
    Hits:
    3,295
  9. Tags
    Summary

    When Steve whirled around his eyes were blazing. "Bucky," he hissed, ears already burning scarlet, "this better be some kinda joke, because if you actually invited this-this nice, um, young lady to...to-"

    "Ssssshh!" Bucky glared sternly at Steve's outraged face, which only served to incense him further. "She'll hear you."

    His pale blue eyes nearly bulged out of his head. "Hear me? Hear me? That's what you're worried about? You hire a-a working girl, bring her into our apartment behind my back for God knows what, and you're worried that she's gonna hear me?!"

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,755
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    24
    Kudos:
    412
    Bookmarks:
    55
    Hits:
    7,572
  10. Tags
    Summary

    It's been months. Months of following every cockeyed, harebrained lead that falls into their laps. It doesn't slip Sam's notice that despite every attempt to show otherwise, Steve's resolve quietly weakens each time they come up empty-handed. When he thinks Sam isn't looking, Steve stares off into space just a little longer, lays awake in bed a little later.

    "Just let it run its course," Natasha sighs over the phone on a balmy summer night. "Let him scour the planet 'til he drops and he realizes that it won't do any good. You don't just stumble on the Winter Soldier in a Kmart or something."

    "Yeah, maybe you and I know that." Sam casts a furtive glance at Steve, who's hunched over a Stark-issue tablet, studying a map intently.

    "He will, too. Just give him long enough to figure it out on his own."

    Right. "I think you underestimate the man's endurance," Sam murmurs dryly.

    "I never underestimate."

    He lets out a long, drawn-out breath. “I might have agreed with you. Maybe somewhere around St. Louis, or Wichita. But let me tell you somethin’ – now that I’ve seen Albuquerque in all its glory? Let’s just say I’m a tough sell.”

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,698
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    19
    Kudos:
    470
    Bookmarks:
    64
    Hits:
    6,531
  11. Tags
    Summary

    Enjoy the ride.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,473
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    18
    Kudos:
    511
    Bookmarks:
    81
    Hits:
    10,092
  12. Tags
    Summary

    SHIELD'S hotel choices leave quite a bit to be desired, especially where privacy is concerned.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,096
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    12
    Kudos:
    90
    Bookmarks:
    9
    Hits:
    3,350
  13. Tags
    Summary

    They always knew it would happen this way.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,953
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    15
    Kudos:
    298
    Bookmarks:
    61
    Hits:
    6,417
  14. Tags
    Summary

    “Let me tell you somethin’, kid. I can count on one hand the number of honorable things I done in my life, and leavin’ you alone was one of ‘em.”

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    24,273
    Chapters:
    6/6
    Comments:
    56
    Kudos:
    147
    Bookmarks:
    22
    Hits:
    4,055
  15. Tags
    Summary

    A botched heist takes an unexpected turn.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    5,768
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    14
    Kudos:
    51
    Bookmarks:
    5
    Hits:
    1,557
  16. Tags
    Summary

    Across the miles, they make do.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,392
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    13
    Kudos:
    149
    Bookmarks:
    18
    Hits:
    3,553
  17. Tags
    Summary

    Clint Barton and Natasha Romanoff are joined in holy matrimony in the back of a Quinjet, covered in ash and blood and concrete dust, as they outrun the mushroom cloud of a nuclear strike.

    Or, it was their day exactly as they’d imagined it.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,097
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    17
    Kudos:
    170
    Bookmarks:
    15
    Hits:
    2,528
  18. Tags
    Summary

    Clint Barton tries to tell himself that he's satisfied with whatever Natasha Romanoff can give him. Until he's not.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    11,373
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Comments:
    11
    Kudos:
    208
    Bookmarks:
    34
    Hits:
    5,099

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