Chapter Text
Staring at the Sun
Chapter 21
Kara had arrived at the coordinates to find nothing but a crater and no other signs of life. She had deduced quickly that Ray must have slipped into unconsciousness while being up in the air and had fallen, given the size and depth of the impact zone even with their Kryptonian DNA it would take a day or two to fully recover from the damage done by such a fall. As it had only been a few hours since they’d heard about it someone must have found Ray pretty quickly. The snow covered the area and any sign of human intervention or vehicles being in the area was already gone. Whoever found Ray could have gone in any direction but she had no choice but to try and fly out covering as much ground as possible in the hope’s she could catch up to their lost friend.
The Waverider arrived not long after she did and Kara went to talk to the worried Legends.
“I’m sorry there is no sign of him” she said knowing that Mick was probably giving her death daggers.
She had a feeling that he was pretty angry at her and while logically she knew it was displaced a part of her felt she was guilty. She should have been more careful in training and not done that hold. If she had worked more on avoiding projectiles rather than in flight fights Ray wouldn’t be missing now. She had got as excited as he had and then all hell broke loose causing the Legends to lose a friend, a team mate and Mick to lose someone he loves because she’d got carried away. She wanted to make it up to them.
“So there is a chance this was a false alarm.” Jax asked sounding hopeful.
“I don’t think so, that large impact crater is telling me something went down here, Kara your thoughts” Sara asked masking her worry with clinical deduction.
“Yeah, I would put money on Ray passing out mid-flight and crashing down here, I’ve had similar falls and you don’t walk away from them as quickly. Someone beat us to him” Kara said her voice quivering a bit with guilt.
“Ok first, this isn’t your fault, don’t say anything Mick” Sara said sounding reassuring and then shooting a quieting glare at Mick, “Secondly any chance that whoever took Ray hasn’t got very far”.
“I’ve tried flying around but it’s a little like a snowflake in the snowstorm out there and without clear direction I could be searching one way while they escape in the opposite direction. I’m sorry guys but I will keep looking” Kara said and turned to leave. Not ready to give up or face the worried looks of the Legends and the angry glare of Mick.
“You don’t have to…” Sara began but Kara was already out of sight.
“Ok so Ray was here and has most likely been picked up by someone, Gideon can you scan the area for any signs of life, for vehicle emissions or energy signals, anything” Sara said as Gideon started to get to work.
“I am afraid Captain Lance that the extreme weather of this area is effecting my scans, this may take a little time so please be patient” Gideon said.
“Ok there is nothing we can do until either Gideon or Kara finds us a lead, in the mean time we rest, we eat and we make sure were ready for whatever we have to do next. Be prepared for anything” Sara said as she went to stare at the console by Gideon willing data to appear.
Mick huffed and stormed off and Sara took a deep breath counting to 10 before following him, Jax gave her an understanding nod and Amaya said,
“Do you want me to talk to him?”
“No, it’s ok this is something as his Captain and his friend I need to do, you should be back in med bay resting and I suspect looking over Nate” Sara replied with a smile and went to find her fiery team mate.
As she suspected Mick was in the cargo hold wearing polar expedition clothes he must have just replicated, he was pulling down his goggles and just about to open the hold doors when Sara entered.
“You really think getting yourself killed is gonna help Ray?” She said and saw Mick flinch at her voice.
“None of yer business so can it Blondie I am going to look for my partner!” Mick growled out.
“It is my business when a team mate and a friend decides to go on a suicide mission cause he’s so worried about his boyfriend he can’t think straight” Sara replied but without judgment.
“If you think I’m just gonna sit about while Haircut is out there, I’ve told you once that he may be a pain in my arse but I’m not letting him be left alone” Mick said turning a little to look at Sara with determination, letting her know that like last time he wasn’t backing down.
“Mick I get it and if I thought it would help I’d be right with you looking for Ray but it’s below freezing out there, with a snow storm and no clues what direction to even search in” Sara said trying to get through to the pyro.
“I don’t care, we both know Haircut would do the same for, hell he’d do the same for someone he just met” Mick said getting louder and more angry.
“And you would call him an idiot for doing so” Sara said back a little anger in her own voice.
This made Mick turn around and stare at her looking a little shocked and losing some of the defensiveness he had.
“Look Mick it’s not just about you ok, I want Ray back he’s my friend too but mostly I am not sure what he’d do if something happened to you. If I don’t keep you safe, if I don’t have your back until he returns then Ray isn’t gonna forgive me. I mean it’s Ray he probably won’t blame me, knowing him he’ll blame himself and that would eat him alive. Imagine if in your fool mission to find him you get yourself killed. We find Ray and I have to tell him you died cause you were so worried about him you went off into a blizzard. Ray is never gonna get passed that, it would break his heart, think what it will do to him finding out the man he loves died looking for him, you think Ray will never not blame himself” Sara finished getting a little more desperate at the end with the thought of what losing Mick would do to Ray.
Mick stared at her slowly taking off his googles, looking defeated and then horrified as it dawned on him.
“I just can’t sit around and do nothing” Mick said sounding quieter than he ever had. Mick then walked over to a crate and kicked it, Sara could tell he was wrestling with conflicting feelings but let him take the moment. Mick walked over and punched the release for the cargo door and looked out into the swirling mess of snow and ice. Mick raised his heatgun and gave a roar as he fired it.
Sara waited, waited for Mick to release his frustration and his anger until the man stilled, stopped firing and closed the cargo door.
“What the hell am I supposed to do, this feelings crap is just not working for me right now. This is when Haircut would say something dorky or mushy and I would insult him but feel better about the whole thing” Mick said sounding raw.
“I don’t know Mick if it was any of us Ray would probably have invented a way to track us or to help Gideon” Sara said sounding a little defeated again.
“Thanks Blondie you’re a real help” Mick said sarcastically.
“Fine, how about Ray would tell you, don’t fight your feelings let them warm you and bring comfort and if that fails how about we just go back to my room and get warm together” Sara said with a smirk.
“That is a terrible Haircut impression” Mick said but he relaxed a little.
“Well I’m sorry that I don’t know what you say to each other to get the other one in bed, though if you want to give me details I won’t mind. I’m just assuming Ray smiles at you like you’re the most beautiful thing in the world and you get so embarrassed you just jump him before he can say anything sappy” Sara said sounding pretty sure of herself.
“I think you need to get laid” Mick replied smirking fully now.
“Yeah well, after this we all need a night out to let off some steam. I can find myself some company and you can tell Ray how much you love him and he can tell you off for trying to get yourself killed for him for a change” Sara replied knowing she hit a nerve by the sudden blush on Micks face.
“I’m freezing, why the hell we are still standing here” Mick said gruffly before striding out of the cargo room with Sara close behind.
“When we find the idiot I am gonna tell him he’s an idiot, he better apologise for making me feel all this crap” Mick said grumbling the whole way back to the mess so he could grab a beer.
“Sure you are Mick, is this before or after you hold him close, kiss him deeply and look into those big brown puppy dog eyes” Sara said teasingly.
“Blondie you really are testing things aren’t you?” Mick said and then Sara just looked at him seriously.
“I just, I’m worried too and can’t do a damn thing to help and my default of wanting to stab the problem isn’t helping. Until we hear from Gideon or Kara would you mind if we sparred?” Sara said looking at him earnestly.
“So you want to use me as a punching bag, doesn’t sound fair” Mick said back.
“Come on I’ll go easy on you” Sara quipped back.
“Huh, don’t underestimate me but yeah a few rounds might relieve some of this energy” Mick said agreeing.
The two headed off both needing to get their anger, worry and fear out in the way they know best.
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Ray Palmer, apparently once the CEO of Palmer Tech but now presumed dead was sitting at a large desk in Lex Luther’s penthouse. He’d moved from the bedroom after the desire to make notes and pace about and write on boards got too much. He’d been provided with everything he needed and soon the area was a mess of cliff notes and a timeline had been drawn on a board. He was feeling very much awake and healthy and had detached himself from all the monitors bar the brain activity one which he’d wheeled into the room as well. From what he could piece together he had to conclude with Lex’s findings that he was the man under The Atom suit but something had happened to create a late Meta transformation and it had not gone well. It looked like he’d almost taken out the team of heroes he was affiliated with.
The team was an odd bunch and he couldn’t quite understand how he ever became part of a group that consisted of an assassin and a con. Though even stranger was that he didn’t seem upset by this news and there was a strange familiarity when he looked at their files. What was weirder was his body had a weird reaction to the photo of Mick Rory getting a little warm and his heart beat quickened. Ray had no idea why maybe he was angry at the man or maybe he and threatened him and Ray was worried Mick was gonna cause him harm. Though this didn’t compute to the fact that it was Mick in the footage that came to his aid looking devastated at the bleeding and confused form of Ray.
Lex had given him his space to process and Ray appreciated it, there was a lot to take in but still it all felt unreal and distant. Ray had no knowledge of these people or how to contact them for answers. He didn’t want to make contact with Palmer Tech as for one thing he’d apparently sold his company and another he was supposed to be dead. Looking at the design work for The Atom suit was familiar and he felt that if he indeed built a super suit that was definitely how he would envisage it. But again he had no memory of where the suit was. So that was another dead end. Ray was a scientist and inventor, a damn good one. He may not remember who he is or how he got to Lex’s place but it became apparent that he understood everything he read and his mind was already trying to theorise ways to combat memory loss.
Ray had to work with the facts and the one thing he could do, and that was work out what this chip was and how it was responsible for his current state and could he reverse what had happened. Ray also wanted to run some tests to see what kind of Meta he was, reading through notes it seems that there would be signs in his DNA. He’d had large scans of the chip printed out but it looked far too much damaged and Ray was surprised if it did anything at all now but maybe he could send a pulse to give it enough power to do something. What Ray had no idea, he was coming up at a loss. It was time to ask Lex, Lex had headed out but left Ray his mobile number so he fired of a quick text. Weird how he had no memory of himself or his life but how to work things, especially technology was second nature to him.
Ray got an immediate response from Lex and that he was on his way back and would be there shortly. He decided to organise his notes, everything to do with this super hero team was put to the side in favour of two piles of notes. One pile was dedicated to the chip and the other to his abilities and how they related to being a Meta. He wiped off the timeline feeling it wasn’t necessary for the moment and pinned the enlarged chip image to the board. Ok now he was ready and on that thought Lex entered the room.
“Evening Doctor Palmer, I have takeout from Carlucci’s can’t work on an empty stomach” Lex announced carrying the bad of food to a dining table.
Ray suddenly realised he was hungry but was also torn, he really wanted to have made more progress.
“Thanks, but can we eat in a bit I want to ask some questions, oh and call me Ray” Ray said smiling.
“Well Raymond, do you mind it rolls of the tongue nicely, as brilliant as we both are even geniuses need to eat, not gonna fix a brain if it has no energy to work with” Lex said with charm as he set up the table.
“I suppose your right” Ray said and headed over before curiosity kicked in, “Um where is your maid, sorry I didn’t ask her name”.
“Ah yes, sorry she doesn’t have a name yet she’s still a prototype and is recharging” Lex explained before adding, “But I assure you I’m not so spoiled I can’t lay out a meal for a guest” and Lex smiled at Ray.
Ray felt a sense of wonder and couldn’t help himself,
“She’s an AI, omg is she fully synthetic, biosynthetic. How much intelligence and awareness does she have, do you say she’s more android or cyborg or…….”
“Eat first Raymond then questions but I love your enthusiasm. I haven’t given her artificial intelligence, she’s totally synthetic and I haven’t labelled her as anything yet. Truthfully she has a very low power source and is on charge more often than she is awake. I was hoping to ask about energy sources from you but your current predicament means that will have to wait” Lex explained as he offered Ray a plate of veal escalope and gesturing to the sides on the table.
Ray sat and added some more to his plate absent minded before saying “I’m sorry” and then thinking it odd his go to place was to apologise.
“Nothing to apologise for, it’s not your fault your suffering from amnesia is it?” Lex said and he again smiled at Ray looking supportive and reassuring.
“No, in fact I want to help you with your current state and yes I do want to rack that beautiful mind of yours so we can collaborate but also can’t bare for you to keep having to suffer. I’ve seen the same files you have and want to help Raymond” Lex finished before starting on his own meal.
Ray felt the appreciation and smiled his big grin at Lex hoping he came across as eager and appreciative.
“Thanks Lex, I appreciate you helping me and once I’ve got my memory back and I know a bit more about myself I want to return the favour. I just hope that I’m as brilliant as you think I am, working on a power source sounds like a great idea, something to really benefit mankind. I don’t want to let you down” Ray said feeling a little guilty.
“Oh believe me, your definitely the right man for the job so don’t get disheartened and for the moment enjoy your meal.” Lex replied.
Ray felt a little stirring inside him, something about being appreciated and having someone’s faith meant a lot to him. Here was Lex trying to help him out but also praising him for his mind, he found he really liked having someone look out for him and make him feel capable. There was something about Lex Luther and Ray couldn’t put his finger on it, when he looked at him it was like he reminded him of someone and it gave him a warm feeling. Maybe he and Lex knew each other quite well before he got amnesia and that was why he was so happy to trust the man. Ray just couldn’t put the pieces together so decided it was best to eat and relax his mind before he tackled the problem.
They finished their meal and Lex was serving up Italian coffee when Ray’s mind wondered back to the team he was apparently part of. He had been thinking how nice an evening this had been the level of luxury something he felt accustomed to as well as talking to Lex about his inventions. Ray had gone back to the subject of Lex’s Synth Maid and found that he could follow and understand all the science, he even at one point theorized a way to upgrade the charging device and Lex had called him brilliant. He was clearly used to and comfortable in this standard of living and in the company of genius. So that lead to again the thought of how was he part of a team with a thief and murderer. He wanted to talk to these people and find out.
“Lex I don’t suppose with your resources you could track down Sara Lance, Mari Macabe or Mick Rory. If we could we may get some answers faster, since I was part of their team” Ray asked hopefully.
There was an odd expression on Lex’s face then but it disappeared into a look of guilt very quickly before Ray could identify it.
“I’m so sorry Raymond that was what I spent most of my day doing, seeing if I could contact them. But they are well hidden as you would expect masked heroes to be. I have no idea where to locate them or how to contact them. Unfortunately it looks like it’s just you and me for the time being” Lex said and Ray could hear the disappointment in his voice and the way he looked down.
“Oh No don’t worry Lex if they are looking for me I’m sure they will contact me and in the mean time you and me are all we need. I mean what exactly are an assassin and a thief gonna do that two genius can’t” Ray said beaming at Lex and feeling happy when Lex returned the smile.
“Your right, together I feel like we can do great things Raymond” Lex said looking intensely at Ray with wonder and excitement in his eyes.
“You really can call me Ray , sorry it just feels right and I am looking forward to working with you” Ray said happily.
“You know what Ray” Lex said testing out the name, “I already feel like we were destined to meet, like we have a connection, I hope that doesn’t sound weird. I barely know you and you have amnesia so I must sound a little mad but I have a feeling we are going to be great friends!” Lex finished.
“I think your right, and I think we are already friends Lex” Ray said honestly and pleased when Lex looked a little embarrassed but then recovered quickly.
“Ok Doctor Palmer time to put our minds to the test!” Lex said with a wink and a smirk.
“Of course Doctor Luther, to the sciencing!” Ray answered with amusement and the two men headed to the work area Ray had set up.
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Lex had found that Ray Palmer was delightful dinner company just as he’d always thought and in the space of one meal had already found an improvement for his charging system. He’d worried that the memory loss would have compromised Rays intellect but that was not the case. It was only certain parts of Ray’s memory that had been affected, mostly his memory of self and what he had been doing up to the point Lex found him in the snow. At first Lex had been mortified finding the limb body in a crater looking frozen to death. Once he’d got Ray onto his artic transit vehicle he’d found a pulse and his heart soared. Somehow the man was alive.
Lex had made sure to return Ray’s body to the appropriate body temperature slowly so as not to cause any more damage but the medial scans showed so many broken bones and internal haemorrhaging that it was a miracle if he survived. But that was what Ray Palmer was a miracle. Lex watched in wonder throughout the whole journey back to Metropolis as Ray healed, breathing stabilised and signs of trauma disappeared. The only thing that was reading as odd was his brain activity.
Lex wanted to make sure Ray woke in comfort and without fear when he had him taken to his penthouse and all he could do was wait and see what happened. The thing that worried Lex the most was this chip, it looked horrifically damaged and seemed to have a neural network throughout Ray’s brain. Judging from the scans this chip had been in place a long time but the damage looked recent. If he was a betting man he’d put money on their being a direct correlation between the damage done to the chip and Ray’s current condition.
Things however had gone pretty well since Ray woke up and for one thing he hadn’t shot any beams of crimson and destroyed Lex’s apartment. In fact he was friendly and charming and more than willing to get stuck in, Ray was definitely a scientist. Lex gave him some space and went to collect some stuff they might need to solve the mystery of the chip as well as food. Just liked he imagined dinner had been perfect and Lex was grateful to talk to someone on his level of intelligence. Ray was a little more naïve it was clear to see and he couldn’t help trying to charm the man. He wanted Ray to like him, he wanted them to be friends, and he was enjoying the company, the intelligent conversation and having someone to work on a challenge with. He had been truthful, it was like they were meant to be.
Lex couldn’t fathom why someone as brilliant as Ray Palmer had ever been with these so called Legends, they seemed so beneath him. Lex felt a pang of guilt, he hadn’t wanted to lie to Ray but in that moment when he asked after Sara Lance and the others Lex had suddenly felt a surge of hostility towards them. They were clearly to blame for Ray’s memory loss, they must not have appreciated him, or been using his intellect for their gain with no concern of Ray’s welfare. No Lex was sure that the “Legends” wouldn’t have appreciated Ray the way he does and would definitely not have the skills or intelligence to help him.
Lex wasn’t entirely pleased with himself as he thought he was above petty jealousy but it was apparent the minute Ray asked that he didn’t want Ray having any contact with his old team. He was also sure this was the best course of action for Ray. He was better off without them, they were gonna do great things together and Lex saw it as his job to protect Ray from those who would abuse his kindness. Yep he appreciated Ray and he felt totally justified keeping any information on their whereabouts from Ray.
Lex walked over to the work area that Ray had set up and the organised notes, the half formed theories and diagrams and smiled. Yes he was Ray’s friend, this man was a genius of his level and they were destined to meet.