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Chapter Text

Arthur was on his nightly patrols when he heard it. A wretched, strangled, sob. The sound of it made Arthur's heart ache; he never wanted to hear it again. He told his men—who were very clearly ignorant of the sounds coming from their left—to go to the right while he took the left path. They agreed without delay and followed Arthur's orders exactly how he stated them. After they were out of sight, he pulled the reins of his horse and it galloped through the trees until they came to a clearing. Stopping, Arthur assessed his location, listening until he heard the horrid weeping again. It was louder, so whoever it was must have been fairly close.

He dismounted from his horse before tying it to a tree and following the sound until he came across a cave. There was light coming from the inside, and as Arthur stepped in he could faintly smell the smoke that signaled there was a fire. At this point, the crying had reduced to sniffles and hiccups, and yet he still wanted to find whoever it was to make sure they were alright.

Tiptoeing across the rocky cave floor, the light inside became brighter and brighter until he finally saw it. There was a fire on the floor, and sitting right next to it, was a boy not too much younger than Arthur himself. He lied there, shivering and sniffling, with his eyes shut as he trembled from his earlier sobbing. Arthur took a step closer, only for the gravel to crunch beneath his boots. The sound of it alarmed the boy immediately, who sat up and backed himself into the cave wall immediately. He looked so afraid that Arthur wanted to just hold him close and never let go.

He was wearing what looked like an ensemble of rags, being that they were ripped in places and there were holes throughout his shirt. The boy was so skinny Arthur wondered if he'd ever had a decent meal in his life; his face was covered in dust from the cave floor, and his hair was rumpled and ragged. He continued to press himself into the wall, as if wishing it would swallow him whole so he wouldn't be in sight of Arthur.

"Who- who are you?" He asked, and his voice was so dry and cracked that Arthur's heart broke for a second time. "What do you want with me?" The second question was squeaked out so low that it could barely be heard over the crackling of the fire.

"I'm... Arthur. Are you alright?" He asked, slowly, as to not scare the poor boy off.

"Why are you here? Did you want to take me off and kill me?!" He said, with more fire than Arthur thought he had in him. It was unbelievable that he had the ability to say anything at all in his condition. He was still shivering, so Arthur took a few steps closer to him without speaking and even though he pushed himself further into the wall, Arthur removed his cape and wrapped it around his shoulders. The boy flinched away from him, but took the cape anyway. Afterward, Arthur took a few steps back to give him some space.

Arthur took a seat on the cave floor a few feet away from him.

"What's your name?" He asked.

"Why should I tell you? I still don't know what you want from me, and judging from your armor, you're a knight who doesn't care about anyone but himself."

"I don't want anything except to know if you're alright. I heard... I heard you crying and I wanted to see if you were okay."

"How do I know you're not lying?" After he said that, his stomach growled rather loudly, and Arthur raised an eyebrow at him while the boy just blushed. He proceeded to wrap the cape around him tighter, drowning his body underneath it.

"You can't. But I promise I'm not." Arthur said, hoping the boy believed him. Before the boy could respond, there was a yell coming from beyond the cave. It was the knights.

"Sire! Prince Arthur!" They called for him, and Arthur flinched at the title, looking toward the boy, who seemed even more afraid than he was when Arthur first entered the cave. Arthur sighed, standing up from his place.

"I'll be back, I promise. In a few hours." He said, and turned to leave, but the boy's voice stopped him.

"Oh, um, you forgot your cape." He said, awkwardly, and stood before pulling the cape off and walking over to hold it out to Arthur.

"Keep it." Arthur said, "So you know I'll be back." And then he flashed a smile at the boy and turned to walk out of the cave, only to be stopped by the boy's voice once again.

"Merlin. My name is Merlin." He said, and when Arthur turned around he could see the boy's lips stretched out the slightest amount, making a small smile on his face. It made Arthur feel like he'd finally done something right.

~•~

When he came back later that night, Arthur found Merlin snuggled up in his cape, with the fire still burning brightly in front of him. He didn't have the heart to wake him just yet. Setting down the basket he filled with food from the kitchens, he went back to his horse to retrieve the blankets he'd piled on before he left. When he returned, he puts them on top of Merlin, who just nestled into them comfortably. Arthur sat next to him and resolved to stay until he woke up.

A cold wind came into the cave, making Arthur shiver. He'd foregone his armor when he came back, thinking it would draw too much attention if he met anyone else in the forest. Even though he was cold, he knew he'd be fine, and could only bring himself to think of Merlin. The boy looked so pale, so malnourished, that he couldn't help but care for him. Did he have a family? Why was he out here all alone? Was he a criminal? Arthur couldn't help but wonder exactly who Merlin was, and why he was out in the woods late at night. Looking over at him again, Arthur noticed his teeth chattering in his sleep, and moved over to him to wrap the blankets around him tighter. Then he placed a hand on Merlin's forehead, and noticed it's burning hot.

He must have a fever, Arthur thought, he needs help. There was nothing he could do for Merlin, because he was not a skilled physician. He would need to take him to Gaius as soon as Merlin woke up, for fear that his fever would get worse than it had already become. Letting out a sigh, Arthur sat beside Merlin and let a hand run through the boy's hair. It was already splayed in every direction, and Arthur tried to flatten it out, but the attempt was in vain. The touch must have woken Merlin, because he yawned and stretched out, (similarly to a kitten, but Arthur wouldn't be caught dead thinking about adorable kittens) and then his eyes opened and he saw Arthur above him, to which he proceeded to move as far away as possible.

"You- you actually came back?!" He questioned, as he once again, pushed himself into a wall. This time, however, he was wrapped in several blankets, which he had only just noticed. "You brought me blankets?" He asked, hugging them closer to his body, before noticing the picnic basket next to Arthur.

Arthur noticed where Merlin was looking, and quickly moved the basket into his range before scooting over toward him and opening it up.

"And food... I thought you might be hungry..." Arthur said, shyly. Merlin sat himself across from him, in front of the basket, and cautiously reached into it, as if waiting for something to jump out and bite at his hand. He pulled out a bread roll, and he gaped at it and widened his eyes at Arthur, who made a motion for him to go on. He went to bite into it, glad because he hadn't eaten anything in days, but stopped before it could so much as reach his mouth.

"Wait." He said, and narrowed his eyes at Arthur. "How do I know this isn't poisonous?" To which, Arthur sighed and grabbed the roll before taking a fairly large bite out of it, to prove his point. He decided he wanted to have a bit of fun, so he chewed on it quickly before swallowing it down and speaking.

"See, it's fine-," And before he could finish his phrase, he toppled over onto his side and played dead. He heard Merlin gasp and move over to him, before he started shaking Arthur violently.

"Arthur?! Prince Arthur?!" He said, and his voice wavered over each syllable, "I've gone and killed the prince, now they're going to come after me..." He wondered aloud, and Arthur took it as the moment to open his eyes, only to see Merlin hovering above him, looking down at him. At Merlin's confused and slightly afraid face, he smiled brightly and laughed a bit, only to receive a fist hammered into his chest. He grunted. "You clotpole! You made me think you were actually dead!"

"You didn't trust that I would bring you food that wasn't poisoned, what else was I supposed to do?" He sat up and Merlin crawled off of him, sitting against the wall and crossing his arms, glaring at Arthur. He pouted, and Arthur thought it made him look the age that he actually was, rather than his dark under eye circles and frail body made him look older than he was. "Alright, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that, will you forgive me?" He took an apple from the basket and offered it in his hand, and a smile stretched out on his face when Merlin took it.

Only to throw it back at Arthur, where it hit him in the stomach—hard. He yelped, clutching at his stomach, and heard Merlin let out a giggle that turned into full-fledged laughter. Smirking, Arthur jumped at him, pushing him to the ground so he was lying on the ground with Arthur above him. This time, Merlin was the one who yelped.

Arthur found himself looking into clear blue eyes that looked like they held every emotion Merlin could have. He leaned down toward Merlin so they were almost nose to nose. The boy looked almost afraid, but not completely, as if he knew Arthur wouldn't hurt him.

"Clotpole?" He questioned, to which Merlin burst out into laughter, not even bothering to hold back. Arthur propped himself up and pulled Merlin up with him, before offering the basket of food once again. This time, Merlin reached in and pulled out another apple, biting into it without hesitating. He moaned at the sweet taste, chewing it quickly before taking another bite.

"Don't eat too quickly, you'll get sick." Arthur said. Merlin only made a face at him before proceeding to continue eating like he hadn't in days—which he hadn't. They talked a bit as he'd eaten, but mostly Arthur just watched as Merlin took out item after item and tried it before devouring it. After he'd proceeded to eat as much as he possibly could, he leaned against the wall and closed his eyes for a few seconds. When he opened them, he spoke up.

"Why are you being so nice? You have nothing to gain from it. You're the Prince of Camelot. You can have anything you want." Merlin said, genuinely curious as to why Arthur was with him instead of in his castle and his probably very fancy bed.

"I care about my people, believe it or not." He sighed, "It's hard to see people continually suffer and look to you for what to do about it. If I could sort out everyone's problems, I would."

"I can see how it would be hard, to have a weight on your shoulders like that." Merlin sniffled. Arthur remembered he wanted to get the boy some help.

"You're sick, Merlin. You have a fever. I want to take you back to Camelot so you can get better." He stood, and held out a hand to Merlin, who looked at it but didn't take it.

"I can't go to Camelot."

"Why not?"

"I can't."

"Why not?"

"Because I can't!" Merlin said, standing up and glaring right back at Arthur.

"Merlin, you're not giving me a valid answer. You're ill, and I want to get you better. This cave isn't safe for you to stay in while in your condition." Arthur reached and took one of Merlin's hands in his, warming it. It was almost as if he was showing his point, because even though he'd been wrapped in blankets, his hands were still freezing.

"My condition, huh?" He said, and then he started mumbling. "That's a new way to phrase it..." Arthur took a step closer in an attempt to hear, still holding Merlin's hand.

"What? What are you talking about?" Arthur asked. He took Merlin's other hand and rubbed circles into the backs of both of his hands, trying to calm him down enough so that he would tell Arthur exactly what was wrong. He wanted to know, he wanted to help, if only Merlin knew that he wasn't the enemy. It seemed as though he was used to keeping things to himself, thinking that no one else would care. But Arthur cared, he cared so much for this boy he had only just met, it began to scare him.

"I'm not... normal, Arthur. They used to-," He hiccuped, "They used to-," And then Merlin let out a sob, and Arthur drew him into his arms, resting his head against Merlin's hair. He let Merlin cry into his shoulder, for once not caring that it would ruin his shirt. Merlin could ruin all his shirts if he wanted to, and Arthur would keep letting him. After hearing him sob so loudly, so achingly, the only thing he wanted for Merlin was for him to smile and laugh out of complete and utter happiness.

"They used to what?" Arthur asked, softly, hoping he wasn't pushing. He wanted to be told, yes, but if it would make Merlin uncomfortable he didn't want to force him.

"They used to call me a monster- and a- a freak." Merlin sobbed, trembling in Arthur's arms. "Bu- but I can't control it, it's not my fault! I just-," He sniffled, "I can't..." Arthur was confused, to say the least. Why would they call this sweet, kind boy a monster? As far as he had seen, Merlin was caring and innocent, what could have possibly made him earn the title of a monster?

"Why would they call you a monster?" Arthur asked. Merlin lifted his head to look into Arthur's eyes, and when he found them looking right back at him, he shut his eyes tightly, and Arthur found himself yearning for them to open again, so he could see that crystal blue color he'd very quickly come to love. He raised a hand to stroke through Merlin's hair, and found the boy's trembling slowing down. It made him glad that he could help, if only a little bit.

Merlin opened his eyes, but instead of the sea blue Arthur had expected, they were a shimmering gold. The color in his irises was alive, and he knew exactly what that meant. Magic. He flinched away from Merlin, backing himself into the opposite wall. And then Merlin was holding fire in his right hand, and then in his left, and then both his hands were entirely enveloped in it. It rose up his arms, to his shoulders, and then it went down his body as if it had been poured on him, as if it was a bucket of water. None of his clothes were burning, it was almost amazing. Finally, the fire covered his head, engulfing it in its entirety. His body was feeding the flame, and yet he wasn't burning, wasn't injured. It was almost beautiful, but everything that it meant made Arthur's head spin.

Then, it stopped. Merlin fell to his knees, and the cave seemed so much darker than it had a second ago, when there'd been so much more life. He let out a sob as he laid in the gravel, as if he'd just lost everything he cared for in his life. For all Arthur knew, he had. It made his head turn and his mind reel, because he knew Merlin wasn't, and couldn't possibly, be a bad person. And yet, he'd just shown that he had magic—very powerful magic, at that—and weren't all sorcerers enemies of Camelot?

"There. Now you've seen it. Take me away, like you probably planned to. I won't resist; there's nothing left for me anymore." Merlin said, and this time it was Arthur that was trembling, because how could he possibly dare to take someone who seemed to have already given up to their death? He heard as sobs wracked through Merlin, and watched as he lied on the floor on his side and pulled his knees up to his chest.

"What-, what did you mean when you said you couldn't control it?" Arthur asked, because wasn't magic something people chose to do? Wasn't that why they'd outlawed it, because it corrupted even the most innocent of people?

"I was born with it. The magic, I mean. I was lifting objects with a look before I could crawl, and my body would burst into flames before I figured out how to control it. Everyone in my village knew about it. They started calling me- um-, a-," He had trouble getting the word out, as if someone had removed it from his vocabulary. In reality, it'd been so far engraved into his brain that even thinking about it made his heart ache and his head hurt.

"A monster." Arthur supplied, immediately flinching at his tone of voice, as if he believed that Merlin was what they thought he was, which he did not.

"Yes. That." Merlin said, and then he was shivering again, and pulling the blankets Arthur had brought him around his body. He sniffled again and wiped the tears from his eyes, to no avail. He was still crying. "I suppose you think of me that way as well, now. Magic has always been outlawed in Camelot. If you're planning on killing me, I don't think burning me at the stake would be very productive." There was a shadow of a smile on his face, and Arthur concluded that he wanted to see him smile bigger, and brighter. He would not see Merlin killed, even if it meant getting himself killed in the process.

"Do you really think you should be joking about death in your condition?" Arthur started, only slightly condescending, with a teasing tone. Merlin looked frightened, sitting up in his place and wiping off the pebbles that had stuck to his cheek. Arthur took a few steps over to him, before settling down next to him, as close as he could be. "You're shivering so hard you're going to give me your illness." And Merlin turned his head toward Arthur, confused. That is, until he wrapped around Merlin's waist and then placed another underneath his chin to hold it in place, before placing his lips on Merlin's.

Arthur could taste salty tears on Merlin's lips, from the tears that had been frequenting his cheeks all night. He wouldn't change it for the world. He tugged Merlin's lower lip into his mouth, sucking on it lightly, and then Merlin opened his mouth and Arthur could taste the strawberries he'd eaten earlier, that Arthur had brought. He'd told Arthur that he'd never had a strawberry before, to which he proceeded to cherish each and every single one, savoring the taste and licking his lips.

It had almost made Arthur go crazy. His lips, almost the same exact color as the berries themselves, and the sight of Merlin sucking on each one made Arthur sure he was doing it on purpose. If only to elicit a reaction from him, which Arthur figured had worked. He pulled Merlin closer to him, wrapping both his arms around the blanket-armor the boy had created.

Arthur pulled away and kept his arms wrapped around Merlin, pulling him into his lap. He let the boy rest his head on his chest, and pressed a kiss into his hair before hugging him tighter and pressing his cheek onto Merlin's head. Merlin's arms were wrapped around him in return, and he snuggled into Arthur's arms and stayed there, breathing softly.

"For what it's worth," Arthur said, "I don't think you're a monster, and I never want you to think about yourself that way, okay?"

And then, just like the beginning of the night, Merlin was crying, but this time, it was for another reason entirely.

Chapter Text

Arthur awoke to find himself wrapped around a scrawny body, with his face nestled into soft black hair. It took him a moment to realize why he was in that position, his thoughts groggy from having just woken from sleep. Once he saw Merlin's face tucked into his chest, however, he immediately smiled in realization. Absentmindedly, he ran a hand up and down Merlin's side, feeling his gentle breaths as he took each one. The boy's eyelids twitched, groaning in his sleep as he pulled himself closer to the warm body that held him. He sighed contentedly before falling into a deep sleep once again.

Arthur thought about what had happened the night before, how he'd found Merlin, brought him food and warmth, discovered his secret, and told him he would never be a monster in his own eyes. He finally felt the weight of all that had happened on his shoulders, because how would he possibly get Merlin back into Camelot without raising suspicion? There was no way Arthur was leaving without him, not after all he'd done for him. He vowed to get Merlin back to the city and ensure his safety.

Unconsciously, he ran his hand through Merlin's hair, feeling the softness of it on the palm of his dry hand. A breeze flew through the cave, and he could feel the cold chill of winter air from just outside. The fire had long since gone out, and the only warmth Arthur now had was Merlin's body wrapped around him and the few blankets on top of them. It wasn't enough, though it should have been, and when another few wisps of wind came into the cave, he shivered.

He must have woken Merlin with his movement, because Arthur heard a yawn and then his most important source of heat was moving away from his body. Merlin's eyes opened, to see Arthur pursing his lips in a frown, and he immediately smiled before pressing his lips to Arthur's in a chaste kiss. Whatever Arthur had been frowning about, he immediately forgot about it as he very quickly became lost in the feeling of Merlin's lips on his. Pulling the boy closer, Arthur reveled in the warmth of their bodies pressed up against each other.

The night before, they'd shared many kisses, from Arthur comforting Merlin through his tears, to the two of them rolling around the cave floor, attached at the lips, unable to let go. Merlin was special to Arthur, even after only having known him for a single night. Throughout that single night, they'd come to know more about each other, and Arthur had locked up every single thing Merlin had told him into his head so he wouldn't forget a single detail.

He pulled away from Merlin, who looked at him with a mix of confusion and sadness. To reassure him, Arthur placed a hand on his cheek and ran his thumb across the edge of his sharp cheekbone. Merlin was a gorgeous soul, Arthur decided, unable to stop himself from smiling when the boy's cheeks turned pink. It let him forget about the world beyond them; all they needed was each other.

Sadly, he knew that though his raging heart was telling him to take Merlin and run away to the countryside where they would never be disturbed, they needed to return to Camelot. Merlin was still injured and needed a place with stability for his caring, not a prince who had nowhere near the skill of a physician. Once they arrived, Arthur would take him to Gaius immediately, to be taken care of as he should. And then...

And then he didn't know what he would do. Merlin was illegal in the eyes of his father, and his mere existence was punishable by death. How would he keep his magic a secret? Arthur couldn't force him to do that, not after what he'd been through. After being called a monster, he never wanted Merlin to go through something like that ever again. If only Arthur was able to have his father's mind changed, or make him understand that magic didn't make the person. The more he thought about it, the more the idea of running away felt more plausible...

He sighed, wrapping his arms around Merlin's frail body again. Merlin, however, acknowledged his inner strife, and comfortingly ran a hand through Arthur's hair. He quickly succeeded in messing it up, and giggled at Arthur's look of annoyance at him because of it. Since Arthur would never be able to be mad at Merlin for more than a few seconds, he was soon enough giggling right alongside him. It felt free and happy, and it made him even less prepared for the fact that they were going to have to leave their little haven in the forest.

After they'd finished their fit of laughter, Merlin removed himself from Arthur's hold to stretch out, and he groaned—a low sound from the back of his throat that Arthur longed to hear over and over again—before sitting up. The crumbled wood, burned to ash from going on all night, had completely burnt out. There was nothing but dark ashes surrounding the pit, with smoke wafting up in tendrils, only to be whisked deeper into the darkness of the cave by the chilly wind coming in. A look toward the entrance of the cave made Arthur notice the bright light of day, showing it was clearly late in the morning.

The sun shined into their dark abode, lightening the corners of the cave walls, and producing a beautiful reflection off of the stones imbedded into the walls. Sunlight shone onto Merlin's face, making him to smile brighter than Arthur had seen throughout the entire night; his face created the image of happiness in its entirety. Light also reached Arthur's own skin, adorning his face and providing him with the comforting heat he had so desired.

Merlin stood and pulled Arthur up with him, tugging him along as he stepped outside the cave. The freshly fallen snow crunched beneath their shoes, soaking Merlin's, though he didn't seem to care. He continued to drag Arthur along a short distance away from the cave, embracing the cold from the wind as well as the heat from the sun. When they'd reached what Merlin believed to be a suitable distance, he let go of Arthur and moved away from him.

Confused, Arthur went to follow, until he saw Merlin reach down to the ground and scoop up a wad of snow into his hand. He took a few steps back as Merlin turned around and looked at him with a smirk, walking toward him with an icy look in his eyes. Arthur turned and ran toward the cave, only to be pelted with the snowball and fall to the ground, his face flat in the snow.

Groaning, he gathered a ball of snow in his hand, and stood up before turning around and throwing a snowball at Merlin's grinning face. He missed his target as it dodged easily and two more snowballs came flying at Arthur. Luckily, he ducked before they could hit him, but his relief was short lived as another one smacked him in the side of the head, making his skin tingle at the feeling of the cold seeping into his skin.

Merlin's laughter was loud and boisterous, but Arthur wouldn't want it any other way. Even if it meant he was on the receiving end of it. Standing, he flung another ball of snow toward Merlin—who was still caught up in his laughter, mind him—succeeding when it hit him in the chest. Taken aback, Merlin made the sound of an exaggerated gasp, and suddenly Arthur found snowballs coming at him from every direction. He could vaguely hear Merlin's evil chucking in the background as he fell to the ground (for the third time). After he was sure it was over, he stood again and stomped towards Merlin.

"You're using magic!" Arthur declared, as if it solved all of his problems. Merlin feigned ignorance, saying he had no idea what Arthur was talking about and why would he dare make that accusation? "No idea what I'm talking about, eh?" And then Arthur had pushed Merlin to the ground, holding his wrists down so he couldn't get away. Leaning close to Merlin's face, he spoke again. "Still have no idea what I was talking about?"

Merlin blushed, his cheeks turning a rosy color that Arthur never wanted to see disappear. Smiling, he shook his head at Arthur's question. Arthur sighed before leaning as close as he possibly could to Merlin's face without touching him. He took his time to stare at those plump pink lips that he continually wanted to devour and cherish at the same time.

"Whatever am I going to do with you?" Arthur asked, playfully.

"Kiss me." Merlin whispered, just barely heard from over the sound of the wind passing over their heads, and who was Arthur to deny him?

So he slotted their lips together like a key in a lock, relishing the feeling of being complete. Lifting a hand, he brushed his thumb across Merlin's cheek, smiling into the kiss when he felt a shiver run through the boy's body. Merlin opened his mouth and Arthur followed, tracing his tongue over the roof of Merlin's mouth. It invoked Merlin to shudder against him, becoming pliant beneath him. His arms wrapped around Arthur to rub up and down his back soothingly.

After they pulled away, Arthur nuzzled at Merlin's neck, leaving soft kisses on his jaw. He sucked at the skin right beneath Merlin's jawline, making him release a moan. Nibbling at the pale skin, he was satisfied only once he left a mark. Then, he drew up to Merlin's lips again and gave him a long, sweet kiss, before rising up onto his feet.

Arthur held out a hand, which Merlin took immediately and pulled himself up. Both of them were freezing, so they made their way back into the cave and Merlin quickly lit the fire, sitting beside it. Arthur sat next to him and shivered, as the sun had been covered by the clouds and the slight warmth it had offered was very quickly dissipating. He wrapped himself in a blanket.

"Give me your hands." Merlin said, and though Arthur was confused, he turned his body to face Merlin and gave him his hands. He held them lightly, looking back at Arthur. "Do you trust me?" He asked, and without hesitation, Arthur nodded his head. "Okay... don't freak out."

And Arthur barely had the time to comprehend exactly what he meant, before Merlin's eyes had gone gold and his hands had become cloaked in fire, along with Arthur's own. He flinched at the sight, but Merlin's hands held a firm grip to his own, and he realized he wasn't feeling any pain, so he relaxed his muscles and let himself grow loose. Merlin muttered incoherent words under his breath, and then there was a pleasant warmth flowing from Arthur's hands through his veins. It ran up his arms and down his body and into his head. The feeling was synonymous to sinking his whole body into a hot bath of the perfect temperature, immediately having his entire body fall into a sense of relaxation.

He breathed out a sigh as the fire vanished, but the feeling stayed. His breaths were deep and his heart was beating lowly in the background; it was as if all of his stress from being crown prince had been taken away from him. Arthur felt free.

Merlin leaned his head on Arthur's shoulder and wrapped his arms around his torso, snuggling in comfortably and wishing to never leave.

It was a shame they could hear the galloping of horses a short distance away.

~•~

When they took off, it was before the knights could find them. They'd put their small amount of belongings onto the horse, before climbing on and riding away. Merlin, having not known how to ride a horse, sat in front of Arthur and simply tried not to fall off. Arthur kept hold of the reins to steer the horse and made sure they stayed on track. He graciously took advantage of being behind Merlin to nuzzle his hair and kiss the back of his neck, enjoying the boy's reactions when he did.

It was supposed to be a short ride to the city, as they were only on the outskirts of it, but it took longer than it should have because of how they had to avoid the guard. Every time they turned a corner, it felt like someone would just pop out and find them. Whenever there was the sound of voices, they would have to turn in a different direction to avoid them. Arthur didn't want them to be found because it would lead to questions about Merlin, which he really didn't care for. However, the short ride very quickly became a long one, and by then it was midday and both of them were tired and hungry.

"Arthur, do you think we could take a break? If we go on like this there's no way we'll get there before sundown." Merlin asked, and as Arthur's legs were beginning to prickle and he didn't think he could take it for much longer, he agreed to stop by a nearby stream for a short rest.

He climbed off of his horse, before taking Merlin's hand to help him down as well. They walked toward the stream, sitting down by it and filling up their waterskins. Both of them drank greedily, thirsty from their tiring morning. Afterward, they sat close against the trunk of a tree, holding hands as they snuggled for warmth. Their fingers were almost numb against each other, but neither of them could care very much for it.

Arthur glanced around his surroundings, breathing in the cold, but fresh, winter air. It burned his lungs, but felt invigorating all the same. He shut his eyes and leaned back, feeling the gentle breeze fall across his face. The hand in his left its place, moving instead onto his head, grazing over his hair. He didn't open his eyes, though his instincts as a knight told him he should, only let Merlin do with him what he wanted. When that same hand landed on his neck, cajoling him with soft caresses on his skin to lie down and put his head on Merlin's lap, he did as it wanted without a word.

Merlin's hand ran through his hair, messing it up, but Arthur found himself only paying attention to the feeling of those long fingers gliding over his scalp. His eyes opened and a shy smile graced his lips, one that was very similar to the one that adorned Merlin's face. He was surprised when Merlin leaned down to leave a kiss on his lips, and then giggled at Arthur's frown when he pulled away. They continued to rest in silence; one that was only disturbed by the sounds of swaying branches and animals calling out to each other. Arthur had shut his eyes again and was near falling asleep when Merlin spoke up.

"What are we going to do?" He asked, "When we get there, I mean."

"Honestly, Merlin, I don't know." Arthur sighed, looking up at Merlin's face above him. It seemed, for the first time in his life, he didn't have a well-thought-out plan or anyone else telling him what to do. He was completely at his own will, to decide what was right or wrong. In reality, his decision had already been made, that he would do the right thing and take Merlin back to Camelot where he could be cared for, but how Arthur was going to manage it was beyond himself entirely. "I do know that the first thing I'm going to do is get you to Gaius, our Court Physician, so he can have a look at you. After that, however... I can't be sure." He raised a hand up and stroked it across Merlin's cheek. "But I promise that I will let no harm come to you, Merlin."

At that, Merlin smiled at him shyly, the pink on his cheeks, from the cold, reddening further at Arthur's words.

"You didn't have to do all this, you know... for me." Merlin muttered, and it made Arthur sit up, before moving next to him again. He looked at Merlin—who had begun to fiddle with his fingers, clearly avoiding Arthur's gaze—and took his hand before bringing it up to his lips, kissing his palm. Afterward, he held it in between both of his own hands, continuously sliding his fingers across smooth skin.

"Merlin, I don't ever want you to think you are worth anything less than the world itself." Arthur said, "You've shown me that magic is not inherently evil, and it's changed my entire perspective. I couldn't have left you in that cave even if I'd wanted to." Merlin finally chanced a look up at him and smiled. Arthur returned it wholeheartedly.

"Thank you." Merlin said, and was going to continue, until he suddenly heard the crack of a branch in the distance. It immediately alerted all of his senses to run, and he flinched when Arthur's hands on his arm held him down. When he looked toward Arthur, he was looking back at Merlin with concern.

"Did you hear that?" Merlin whispered. Arthur looked at him, confused, until it happened again. There was the loud crunch of a branch breaking beneath someone's foot, followed by a murmur of voices. They looked at each other, alarmed, before silently standing up and making their way over to their horse. It felt like the sound of their footsteps as they stepped through the snow was pounding in their ears. When they'd finally gotten to it, it whinnied loudly, making both of them flinch, and then there were faster steps coming closer to them and neither of them had the time to get onto the horse before they were being surrounded by knights.

"Fuck." Arthur cursed, under his breath. He clenched his teeth as well as his entire body and watched as Sir Gwaine jumped off his horse and came toward them. Merlin looked extremely frightened, so Arthur took his hand and pulled him closer. He would not let them take Merlin away from him, no matter what; he had made a promise and he intended to keep it.

"Arthur! Where have you been?! Your father has had us searching the entire kingdom for you!" Gwaine said aggressively as he came closer to them. When he stepped in front of them, he took a glance at Merlin, then their entwined hands, and his eyes widened. He looked at Arthur, who had a pleading look in his eye, hoping to all the gods that Gwaine would not be as dense as he usually is. The expression on Gwaine's face softened, and he nodded at Arthur. He spoke in low tones. "Alright, I want the information later, but as far as everyone else is concerned, you went on a very early patrol this morning, and this boy begged you to help him."

Arthur smiled gratefully at him, and then Gwaine turned to order the knights to escort the Prince and his guest back to Camelot. They rode on, and Arthur climbed onto their horse, with Merlin sitting behind him. He loosely held onto the back of Arthur's shirt, wanting to lean in and wrap his arms around him, but not wanting to reveal their relationship to anyone except the knight who had already seen them. Even he made Merlin uncomfortable, with his scruffy face and calculating gaze.

Gwaine rode alongside them; he was wary of the boy. He seemed like trouble, with his tattered clothes and frail body. It made him seem as if he'd been wandering around the forest for days, and for all Gwaine knew, he had. However, Arthur seemed to trust him, considering he was allowing him to ride behind him, and the fact that he held him so close. The look of it made Gwaine wonder about the nature of their relationship; he knew it wasn't his business, but it had never stopped him before.

"So Sire, who's this?" Gwaine asked, gesturing to Merlin, who flinched as attention was drawn to him. At this point, the three of them had fallen behind the rest of the knights, out of ear. It set up things easily for Gwaine, who planned to interrogate Arthur on the matter until he truly found exactly what had happened and who the unnamed boy was. The way he kept his head down and tried to keep his eyes on Arthur just didn't sit right with him.

"Unimportant matter, Sir Gwaine. He's unwell and needs medical attention." Arthur said, sternly. He had felt Merlin tense up at the question when Gwaine had asked, and figured that Merlin probably wouldn't want to be forced through Gwaine's leering and inquiring.

"The least you could do would be to at least give me his name."

"My name is Merlin, and I would appreciate it if you spoke straight to me, rather than to Arthur-," Merlin said, and stopped as soon as he realized his own mistake. Addressing the Crown Prince by his first name would surely cause bells to go off in the knight's head. If Merlin had had any desire to hide their closeness, it had officially tumbled away like a rock down a hill.

"Arthur, eh?" The knight smirked, and Merlin had every desire to use magic and make it disappear, but when Arthur pulled a hand off the reins to place it on Merlin's leg—where it couldn't be seen by the knight—it brought his anger down. He tried not to think about it, realizing they were approaching the city as he saw the high walls and the archway at the center. It excited him, but he was also apprehensive of what the future had in store. Being with Arthur was going to be a trudge through mud; how would they be together if he wasn't supposed to be associating with peasants? Merlin's magic was another concept entirely, because even if Arthur knew, it would not change the fact that magic was banned in Camelot.

He knew it wouldn't do him any good to think too hard about the future because it would only bring him more anxiety. Trying to focus on the present, he looked around as they entered into the city; the people gazed upon them in awe. Maybe it was because Merlin, a boy covered in dirt, wearing ragged and ripped old clothes, was riding behind the prince. Or maybe the knights' entrances always drew a crowd of people to them. Merlin liked to believe it was the latter.

Eventually, they arrived to the courtyard of the citadel, and this time Merlin was the one gazing up in awe. It was the largest building he had ever seen, and it made him physically more aware that Arthur was, in fact, a prince. Someone who should have been unattainable for Merlin, and yet here they were.

Arthur had already hopped off the horse, and had extended a hand toward Merlin, who accepted it. He slid off the horse a bit too quickly for his liking, but there were hands on his hips to steady him so he wouldn't stumble when he landed. They didn't leave immediately, and when Merlin looked up, he found Arthur looking at him with a fond expression on his face.

It took everything Merlin had in himself to not pull Arthur in and kiss the smile perched on those lips. Instead, he slowly slid Arthur's hands off his hips, bringing his Prince back to reality. Then, Arthur led him toward the citadel.

They made their way down a few halls and up a case of stairs, Merlin saw a sign that said 'Court Physician' and understood where he was being taken. He didn't deny that he needed some aid, when he was littered in cuts and bruises and chilled to the bone. However, he didn't want to be without Arthur for too long, considering he had only just arrived here and hadn't an idea of anything.

Arthur opened a door and they stepped into the Physician's Quarters, and Merlin thought it was quite nice. There was a lot of space, and books of all different kinds, bottles of potions scattered everywhere; it felt comfortable. The fire was burning, and it warmed the entire room. Merlin could feel it drawing out the fire inside of him, as if he was releasing heat through his skin. His skin was warm to the touch and he felt his entire body relax into it, heating the the inside as well.

"Gaius?" Arthur called, and the old man who had been standing at a table—where he looked to be concocting potions—looked at him.

"Sire?" Gaius questioned, and his eyes wandered to see Merlin standing beside the princes, an eyebrow raising in curiosity at Merlin's state. "What brings you here?"

"This is Merlin, could you check him for any serious injuries or illnesses? He's been through quite an ordeal." Arthur said softly, resting a hand on the Merlin's lower back and calmingly rubbing up and down.

"Of course, Arthur." Gaius said, and he gestured Merlin over to the cot for him to sit down. He walked over to sit, and Arthur followed and stood by him, refusing to be more than a few feet away. Arthur watched unabashedly as Gaius had Merlin remove his shirt to check for scrapes and scratches, but found himself far more concerned of Merlin's condition than he had been before. The dirt and dust on his skin has covered just how badly he was hurt. Arthur wondered exactly how Merlin had moved about so easily in the past two days while he was covered in so many bruises.

He didn't want to think about how Merlin had come to acquire them; Arthur knew that he'd spent a rough few days once he'd left his village, but wasn't aware of what had actually happened. At this point, he wasn't sure he wanted to know because he knew it would only make him angry that he hadn't gotten there earlier.

When Gaius finished, he turned to Arthur.

"He seems to be alright overall, sire. His injuries are mostly minor, and I can give him some potions for a faster recovery. He has no illness." Gaius said, and Arthur let out a relieved sigh. He was about to speak, but before he could say anything the door opened and Leon rushed in.

"The king has demanded your presence, sire." He said, breathing heavily, as if he had run into the room. Arthur sighed, looking to Merlin and trying to convey that he was sorry.

"I'll be back, whenever my father decides to release me, alright? Stay here with Gaius." Arthur said, before following Leon out of the room and shutting the door behind him. Merlin was left in silence, and though he knew Gaius probably wasn't out to kill him, it didn't do much to soothe his nerves without Arthur in the room. He didn't feel safe in Camelot, where sorcerers were burned at the stake. It had nothing to do with the people, but Arthur, Arthur was where he felt the safest. And now that Arthur wasn't there, Merlin suddenly felt very, very frightened.

Gaius has resumed his potion-making, chattering on about nothing important, as far as Merlin was concerned. It did, however, provide a good sound for him to focus on in order to block out all his bad thoughts. He had unconsciously begun to hug his own upper body, leaning into himself. He stayed like that until he heard a question come out of Gaius's mouth, directed at him.

"Where are you from, Merlin? You look awfully familiar..." He asked, curiously, and Merlin wasn't sure how much of his curiosity with with good intent, but he hoped that it was the entirety.

"Oh, I'm from Ealdor. You probably haven't-," Merlin said, but he was cut off by Gaius.

"Ealdor! You don't by any chance know Hunith, do you?" He asked gleefully, looking toward Merlin.

"...You know my mother?" Merlin responded, and then the smile dropped off of Gaius's face, and Merlin was afraid he'd suddenly done something very wrong. Gaius walked toward him, standing in front of him and looking at him as if he was an herb to study. When he stopped, the look of shock in his eyes diminished, replaced with something softer.

"You're Hunith's son? What are you doing in Camelot?! You will be killed if they find out about you! The prince and the king are both ruthless in their hatred of magic!" And Merlin wasn't sure how Gaius knew about his mother and his magic, but he didn't let himself dwell on it longer than he could. He knew he wasn't safe in Camelot, thought he was with Arthur, but Gaius didn't know that.

"Arthur isn't like that!" He proclaimed, and Gaius raised an eyebrow at him, as if saying Merlin was an idiot, thinking like that. "He's not like that because he already knows." Gaius seemed even more frantic after the statement.

"And you went with him willingly? Do you know the penalty for use of magic?"

"He's... changed his mind on the topic."

"How can you be so sure?"

"Because... he told me himself." Merlin said, knowing it wasn't a good support for what he was claiming, but he couldn't exactly tell Gaius that he and Arthur had something of a relationship. Gaius sighed.

"Alright, I hope you know what you're doing, Merlin." He said, pausing before he continued. "Do you... need a place to stay? I have a spare room if you would like it, however long you plan on staying." It was a heartfelt offer, and Merlin knew Gaius was offering mostly because he had known Merlin's mother. If not that, then it was because Gaius knew of Merlin's magic and didn't want him to get into trouble.

He thought about it for a few minutes, wondering where Arthur was going to have him stay in the first place. It wouldn't have been in his private chambers because they would certainly get caught. There was nothing wrong with Gaius's offer, and he would certainly like a private room with his own bed. Without assurance Arthur had no other place for him, however, he didn't want to accept it just yet. He was about to tell Gaius just that until Arthur ran back into the room, slamming the door shut behind him and leaning up against it.

"Oh, by the way," Arthur started, huffing out his breaths, "Would you mind housing Merlin for now? Until we can figure a permanent solution?"

It was decided, then.

~•~

The night had come rather quickly, considering how Merlin's day had gone. He had been pulled by Arthur around the castle, showing him where anything and everything was, like the kitchens, the throne room, the view from his chambers, his desk in his chambers, his bed in his chambers. They'd spent a while on the bed, wrestling and giggling and kissing. It had gone by too fast for Merlin to notice, and then he was being led back to Gaius's chambers before he could realize it.

And now, he lied in his bed, unable to sleep. The night was clear, but there were still unfamiliar sounds that lurked outside his window. Trees rustled and animals skittered over branches, calling out for someone to hear them. It made him shiver, even when he wasn't cold; he pulled the thin blankets around him tighter, wishing he had Arthur to hug, to lie in his arms and soak up every inch of warmth he offered.

Since Merlin had met Arthur, it always felt like there was a fire burning from inside Arthur that heated his skin to the perfect temperature. Whenever he felt Arthur's skin, it was warm to the touch, like the heat of a fire without the burn. Not that Merlin could burn. It just made him feel warm on the inside and out, and then his cheeks tinged pink as if he was bundled up with Arthur himself. The feeling of being together with him was something Merlin had never had before, and now he didn't know if he could ever be without it. He wanted Arthur to be with him until the end.

Stuck in his thoughts of Arthur, he failed to realize his magic had begun to build up under his skin—and then he was on the floor. Not the floor of his bedroom, however, but the floor right outside of the door to Arthur's chambers; it was carpeted and much cleaner than the dusty wooden boards that aligned in his room. When he stood, he rubbed his head where it had hit the floor and the lightly knocked on the door. The hour was late, and he had little doubt that Arthur wasn't asleep. He went to turn around, but then the door opened and he was lightly tugged into the room.

The door shut behind him, and Arthur looked at him tiredly, rubbing his eyes and yawning. He held Merlin's hand and both of his own, tracing his fingers over the soft skin.

"What are you doing here? It's the middle of the night." Arthur asked.

"Oh, um... I couldn't sleep. I was wondering..." He trailed off, wrapping his free arm around himself and shyly looking down.
Merlin hoped that Arthur had understood what he had insinuated.

"You don't have to ask, Merlin. Come." Arthur led him through the room and toward his bed, sliding into it and pulling Merlin in with him. He lied on his side and tugged Merlin's body to him, until they were aligned. Pressing a kiss on the back of his neck, Arthur let out a sigh of contentment. "Goodnight, Merlin."

"Goodnight, Arthur." Merlin responded, giving his own contented sigh before shutting his eyes and letting himself be consumed by the warmth of Arthur's body. He relaxed entirely, completely trusting of the prince who held him, who he knew would not let him be harmed. And there, in Arthur's arms, he knew during his time in Camelot everything would be alright.

Chapter Text

They awoke at the same time; to the sounds of a banging on the door and yells coming from outside. Merlin was trembling as he held onto Arthur's arm, fearful of what could possibly happen to him. Arthur just held him tight, hoping it was just his knights to yell at him for missing morning training. He took a step out of bed when the sounds continued, and Merlin whimpered at the thought of being left alone. Even if it was the last thing Arthur wanted, he had to go and answer the door before they thought he'd done something horrible. So he planted a kiss on Merlin's forehead before telling him to hide beneath the bed, and Arthur was so sorry that he had to do that but it was for Merlin's own safety. Merlin complied easily; it seemed the thought of being confined in a small space for a period of time was less daunting than being discovered.

Afterward, Arthur approached the door with caution, but then threw it to the wind and swung the door open. He was lightly pushed aside by Gwaine and Lancelot, who entered without a greeting and shut the door behind them. Arthur raised an eyebrow at the two of them, but sighed with relief when he realized they hadn't come due to his father's orders.

"Is there a reason you two have decided to enter my chambers this early in the morning?" Arthur rubbed at his eyes with the palms of his hands, trying to get rid of any last traces of sleep. Since he was awake, he wouldn't be able to sleep anymore, not after they had so rudely interrupted him and Merlin. At the thought, Arthur took a short glance toward his bed, hoping Merlin was alright underneath it.

"Well, you still owe me an explanation for your esteemed guest, and also you're very late for training, so it's a wonder the king hasn't sent for you yet." Gwaine flashed his teeth at Arthur, a mix between a smile and a grimace. Arthur raised an eyebrow, but was used to the type of remarks Gwaine usually made. It was just how he was, but Arthur knew that he was loyal to Camelot and to Arthur himself. They had a bond of mutual trust, like knights should, and either of them would give their lives for the other if need be.

"Esteemed guest?" Lancelot questioned. Arthur sighed, understanding he would have to explain himself to them, but not knowing exactly how to breach the conversation. Since they both knew, however, he figured he should call Merlin out from his hiding place.

"Merlin! You can come out now, there's no danger." And then Merlin crawled out from beneath Arthur's bed, coughing up the dust that he had been forced to breathe in. Arthur quickly went over to him, ignoring the looks of disbelief from his two knights. He gave Merlin a hand and pulled him up, before brushing his hand through dusty hair in order to get it all out.

"Maybe you should have the space under your bed cleaned." Merlin commented, and Arthur laughed at the pure bluntness and monotony of his voice. It alighted a smile on Merlin's face, one where his lips were stretched out wide to reveal his teeth, and there were rosy spots of pink on each of his cheeks. He could have kissed Merlin right there, but he was far too aware of the knights that were staring them down only a few steps away.

"Ah yes, the boy." Gwaine smirked, and Merlin threw him a glare at the condescending tone of his voice. Arthur put a hand on Merlin's shoulder to prevent him from pouncing. In response, Merlin scrunched his nose at him—in the most adorable way, Arthur thought—and huffed.

"Gwaine, Lancelot, this is Merlin." Arthur introduced. Lancelot proceeded to shake Merlin's hand; Gwaine looked about to do the same, until he took Merlin's hand by the palm and turned it to kiss the back of it. Merlin immediately pulled his hand away, but not before a light pink colored his face. Gwaine chuckled and looked at Arthur, not surprised when he found him unamused. "Alright, I've told you two he's here, but this information cannot get back to my father. If he finds Merlin... there is no telling what he would do. Do you understand?"

The two of them nodded, but exchanged curious glances. Gwaine shoved Lancelot, who sighed before speaking. "Forgive me, sire, but Merlin's just a boy, why would the king want to kill him?" Arthur pursed his lips. He looked at Merlin, who was twiddling with his thumbs and looking down at the ground, trying to make himself invisible. It was clear to Arthur from his actions that Merlin did not want to give up his secret to people he had only just met.

"...Maybe not kill, but even harboring someone like Merlin—a peasant, as my father would say—in my chambers would anger him greatly. Let's keep this between us, alright?" The two knights understood, and reminded the prince about his training before they took their leave. After the door shut behind them, Arthur ran a hand through his hair and sighed. He knew he had to get to training before his father found out, but he had to get Merlin out of his chambers first.

"What now?" Merlin asked.

"I have to go to training, and you have to go back to Gaius's. I can't risk letting you stay here and someone else coming in and finding you." Arthur replied, beginning to lightly push Merlin towards the door.

"I know that, but what else? I'm here now, and for a while, it seems. I can't just hide out in Gaius's chambers all the time." They stood facing each other, Merlin's back against the door that led out of Arthur's chambers.

"I'm sorry, Merlin, for my poor planning. When we decided you'd come back to Camelot with me, I hadn't thought this far ahead." Arthur placed his hands on Merlin's sides, stroking up and down. "Ask Gaius, maybe? I'm sure he'll have something for you to do. You can trust him, he's been my physician since I was born."

"Alright..." Merlin said, leaning up for a kiss. Arthur appeased him, leaning down to meet his lips for a quick peck. As much as he wanted to kiss Merlin properly, they simply didn't have the time. Then Merlin scrunched his eyebrows at him in false anger before opening the door and leaving. As it closed behind him, Arthur sighed.

He'd put himself in a position far deeper than he thought he'd be.

~•~

As Arthur had said, Merlin made his way back to Gaius's chambers, wondering what his first full day in Camelot would be like. Closing the door behind him, he found Gaius at his work table, tinkering with some potions that bubbled around him. The sound of the door shutting brought him to Gaius's full attention, causing him to drop a vial of some substance unknown to Merlin. First, Gaius raised his eyebrow at Merlin—an obvious query into where he'd been all night, it was undeniable. Then, he sighed and looked down at the broken glass and spilled potion all over the floor. Merlin grimaced.

"Merlin, I don't know where you've been all night, but I think it would be wise for you to not be found running about at night. Uther is relentless in his accusations of magic. Even if you may not be performing it, you could very easily find yourself on the pyre." Gaius urged.

"I'm sorry, Gaius, it wasn't even my intention to leave last night. Something... happened with my magic, and before I knew it I was on the other side of the castle with no idea how I'd gotten there." Merlin edged his way around the exact truth as much as he could; Gaius didn't particularly need to know what his relationship with the prince entailed.

"You don't mean... teleportation magic? But that's- that's nearly unheard of!" Gaius was astounded, but he lowered his voice while speaking to Merlin. "In the days before the purge, only the most powerful of sorcerers could accomplish such a feat. As their numbers dwindled, the ability eventually died out as no one who had learned could teach another how it was possible. But you mean to tell me you've done this unintentionally?" Merlin couldn't believe what Gaius was telling him. Did he really have magic that was that strong?

"I... guess? I barely even know how to use my magic, besides a few things I've learned over the years. The rest of the time it's spontaneous."

"If you're planning on staying in Camelot for an extended period of time, my boy, you must learn to control it. Otherwise, I fear the worst for you." Gaius grabbed a broom and handed it to Merlin, motioning to the broken glass on the floor.  Merlin took it and began sweeping up the glass.

"But how? Who could possibly teach me how to control it?"

"Learning to controlling it is something you must do yourself; no one knows your own power except for you. Using it, however, I may be able to help you with." While Merlin finished cleaning up the glass and throwing it away, Gaius ventured over to one of his many bookshelves. He pulled out a few books first, dropping them on a desk right beside him, before reaching farther back into a hole in the wall and pulling out a large tome. Merlin could only wonder what it would possibly hold.

Gaius dropped it on the table in front of Merlin.

"This," He said, opening it up and flipping through the many pages—Merlin saw elaborate illustrations as well as a countless number of spells—"is a book of magic. It has been some time since I've had necessity for it, but I suppose you could find use for it now?" Merlin took it into his own hands and skimmed a few of the pages in front of him. The possibilities seemed almost endless: there was a spell to bring an inanimate object to life, to unlock locked doors, and even to put toads in someone's mouth. As he kept looking through the pages, Merlin couldn't believe he had access to so many spells, that he would be able to practice and hone his magic after how horribly everyone in Ealdor had treated him... It felt like a gift to finally come into his powers and use them as they should be used.

"Thank you so much, Gaius!" Merlin smiled brightly.

"It's nothing, Merlin, just take good care of it. Oh, and make sure no one but the two of us see it, otherwise we'll both be arrested for sorcery."

"I'll take good care of it." Merlin nodded, continuing to smile as he picked up the book and took it into his room. Before he could sit down to widen his knowledge, however, Gaius called to him.

"Merlin! Would you terribly mind doing some deliveries for me?" On the inside, Merlin groaned. All he wanted to do was page through the book, but he did owe it to Gaius to help out while he was staying with him.

"What do you need?"

~•~

A few weeks passed, and Merlin grew accustomed to his newfound life in Camelot. Gaius had quickly adopted him into the role of Physician's Assistant, which both helped him and gave Merlin something to do with all of his free time. He saw Arthur whenever they had time to meet, but that was very rare as the prince had many duties which had to be upheld. A lot of the time they would see each other or pass by one another without being able to say a word because they were in public. It left Merlin feeling lonely because he didn't know anyone else in Camelot besides Arthur and Gaius. He was wary to become friends with other people because of how he had to hide his magic; at least Arthur and Gaius knew about it and he had nothing to hide from them, but with others...

The word monster was yet deeply ingrained into his mind, no matter how much Arthur had tried to have him forget about it. When he practiced magic, he was always nervous about someone seeing, even if he was in the confines of his room. He had thoughts of the king's men barging in and dragging him away, putting him on the chopping block for all to see. Arthur wouldn't be around, and no one would be able to save him from what he'd brought upon himself. The eyes of the citizens, looking up at his head of the block, yet looking down upon him. His actions had brought him there and they would be sure he would suffer before ever doing magic ever again.

His nights were sometimes riddled with nightmares as well. When it happened, he would try his hardest to teleport into Arthur's chambers, but he would never be able to make it happen.

It was one of those nights again.

So he sat, shivering in the cold of his room in the middle of the night, with only the light of the candle by his bedside and the moon through the window. He lied back down on his bed and pulled his covers up and over his head, trying to envelop himself in his own body heat, hoping it would do something to bring his rapid heart to a stop. It did not help him as he hoped it would, but the cold did take his mind off of the nightmare he'd just had, where Arthur had been stabbed through in front of him and he'd been able to do nothing about it, for fear of showing the people what he truly was.

He needed to know Arthur was okay, that he was sleeping in his bed, safe and sound, but Merlin had no way to get to him. He grumbled about it, but reminded himself that dreams were only dreams, and shut his eyes, trying to get at least a bit more sleep before the sun rose and Gaius would have him out doing work.

However, Merlin remained stuck in his mind until the birds were chirping at first light, and then he was finally able to find sleep.

"Merlin!" Gaius called from the main room, "Get up, you lazy boy! You'll sleep the day away!"

Merlin opened his eyes, groaned, and fell from his bed onto the hard wooden floor. He groaned again.

"Coming, Gaius." He murmured.

~•~

In the early evening, since Merlin had some free time away from Gaius and had already eaten with him, he decided to take a walk and watch the knights train. He hadn't seen Arthur in a few days, and was still feeling a little troubled after his dream the previous night. As soon as he walked past the field, he caught a glimpse of Arthur, and the stress that had piled up in his shoulders fell. He let out a sigh, and found a tree a bit away from them, so Arthur wouldn't directly notice him. Being a bother was the last thing he wanted to do, so he settled for sitting with his back against the tree, putting his arms behind his head, and shutting his eyes to listen to the constant sound of swords clashing.

Merlin thought about the small spells he had taught himself from the book Gaius had given him. He felt like he couldn't handle anything greater than making a butterfly appear in the palm of his hand, or lighting a candle. He didn't feel like he was ready for all the powerful, offensive magic. When would he ever find an instance to use it, in reality? Merlin knew he wouldn't ever need it; life in Camelot was routine and it seemed that rarely was there anything exciting to happen.

However, he had gotten better control of his previously spontaneous power, which he'd learned was triggered by different moods. Keeping himself from getting too emotional in any way kept his magic from acting up, which then stayed in his control. Even though he was interested in looking into new and different magic, he was afraid of what he could do, and even then, what if his emotions took control of his magic again? What if he hurt someone? The effects were too inevitable to question, so he stopped thinking about it, and rather focused his attentions on the blue sky. The puffy white clouds that floated above reminded him of fluffed pillows and a soft bed. He let his eyes shut, telling himself that he would wake up in just a few minutes.

Across the field, Arthur noticed Merlin's body slump and knew he must have fallen asleep. Arthur had noticed Merlin as soon as he had walked past him, how could he not have? Thoughts of him roamed in Arthur's head constantly, and to have him right in front of his eyes was a blessing in itself. They barely saw each other, so caught up in their own lives that they couldn't meet up at all, which made Arthur irritable because Merlin was the one thing that mattered to him. He trained hard with his knights, to the point where he always very nearly injured them. It was easy to release all the pent up frustration in combat, but it never helped his situation.

Arthur took a step back from his training partner, Lancelot, and pulled him aside as the rest of the knights began a new set of maneuvers. He wanted Merlin to get inside to sleep instead of catching his death in the slight chill of the late winter. Arthur knew he, himself, wouldn't be allowed to leave training, but that never meant he couldn't send someone else. He put a hand on Lancelot's shoulder.

"Lancelot, I need you to do me a favor." Arthur said.

"Of course, sire, anything, just say the word." Lancelot acquiesced. He was always eager to do anything Arthur needed, but always in the name of duty to his prince rather than a blind loyalty to the crown. It easily made him the most loyal and noble of the knights, and Arthur knew he could entrust him with almost anything.

"I need you to wake up Merlin, over there," Arthur pointed, "and lead him up to my chambers. Tell him to wait for me there." Lancelot nodded, making his way over to where Merlin had curled up under the tree. Arthur watched from afar.

Merlin found himself being lightly shaken awake with a hand on his shoulder. He blinked a few times to clear his vision, before looking up at the person who had woken him. It was a knight, he recognized, but couldn't quite recall his name...

"Merlin?" The knight asked, and Merlin nodded in response. "I'm Lancelot, I believe we've met once before?" He flashed a smile, "the prince has asked me to escort you to his chambers." Groggily, Merlin nodded, rubbing his eyes and allowing Lancelot to grip his hand to pull him to his feet. Once he was up, his head spun and he nearly fell to the floor, if not for Lancelot holding him steadily. "Are you alright?" He asked, concerned. Merlin yawned as they slowly began walking toward the entrance into the castle.

"Yes, I think I'm alright. I just haven't had much sleep the past few nights." Merlin said.

"Why's that?" Lancelot inquired.

"Oh, um..." Merlin tried to think of a cover for his nightmares; he didn't want to admit to Lancelot that he'd consistently been seeing Arthur die in every possible scenario, but he couldn't come up with anything. The silence stretched on, and even the sound of their steps as they walked through the castle was inaudible. Merlin's mind kept racing. Lancelot chuckled.

"It's alright, Merlin, you don't have to tell me. I'm not going to bore into your personal life." Merlin let out a breath, his shoulders dropping.

"Thank you, Lancelot." Merlin said, not knowing how to move the conversation further, but not wanting it to end either. He found Lancelot's company nice enough, and even though he didn't know about Merlin's magic, Merlin had a feeling that he was just as kind on the inside as he was on the outside. That thought, as well as knowing Lancelot was Arthur's closest friend, comforted him.

"So, it's been a while since you've come to Camelot, have you been liking it so far?" And then the conversation flowed into easy things, like their daily lives, Lancelot's fiancé, Gwen, and what they liked to do in their free time. Merlin tried to divulge as little about himself as possible, but something about Lancelot just drew it out of him. He told him all about life in Ealdor when he'd been a child, long before he was sent running from the village, of course. By the time they reached Arthur's chambers, Merlin found he'd enjoyed Lancelot's calm personality more than he had expected. And that he'd accepted the offer of possibly meeting up for drinks in the future.

Merlin entered Arthur's chambers, clicking the door shut behind him, and though he'd felt almost entirely rejuvenated in the halls whilst talking to Lancelot, the fatigue that ran through he veins returned at full force as soon as he was alone. He kicked off his boots and removed his jacket, before climbing into Arthur's bed—as soft as the clouds in the sky—and immediately falling into a dreamless sleep.

~•~

A few hours later, Arthur arrived in his chambers tired after training. However, it seemed his exhaustion was nothing in comparison to Merlin's, who had fallen asleep in his bed. Arthur sighed, walking over and removing his gloves, before stroking a warm hand through Merlin's hair. He whimpered, snuggling further into the pillows as Arthur's hand fell to his cheek. As Arthur was drawing his hand away, prepared to find his manservant in order to help him remove his armor, Merlin's hand reached out and gripped his own. When he turned back around, he found Merlin looking up at him, awaking slowly. And because Arthur, internally, knew he was a weak man at the hands of this sorcerer (though he would never admit it aloud), he settled on his knees and leaned over the bed to await Merlin's steady rise to wakefulness.

"Good morning, Merlin." Arthur joked, allowing a smile to flit across his face.

"Oh, shut up. I was tired not delusional." Merlin sat up in the bed, and Arthur took ahold of one of his hands, turning it over and placing a kiss on his palm, his eyes only focused on Merlin. Afterward, Merlin rested his hand on Arthur's cheek, consistently sliding his thumb across the soft skin.

"And why was that?" Arthur questioned, softly, gently, not wanting to overwhelm Merlin.

"I... Arthur..." Merlin began, hesitating. He didn't know if he even wanted to tell Arthur the truth, knowing it would worry him with both his own health and Merlin's. Taking a deep breath, he decided he had to do it; if he couldn't talk to Arthur about it, who else did he have? "I've been having some nightmares, and they happen almost every night. I haven't been able to sleep because of them." Arthur looked at him, concerned.

"What do the nightmares typically entail?" Arthur asked, placing his own hand over Merlin's. Merlin paused for a moment, trying to figure out how he wanted to explain his dreams to Arthur, but as he did, remnants of the night before and the many previous nights flashed into his mind. His throat constricted as he saw Arthur drown, burn, be impaled, and then be devoured by a voracious creature of magic in his mind's eye. When he drew his thoughts away from the images in his head and back to his Arthur in front of him—who silently watched him, sweetly waiting for Merlin to explain what was wrong—he couldn't hold back from opening his mouth.

"...You. Every night, I have to watch as you get killed before my eyes and I don't know how many more times-," Merlin let out a sob, unable to hold it in while the images reeled in his mind over and over again. He reached for Arthur, wanting to pull him close, but his fingers touched the cool metal of his armor. As Arthur placed a hand on Merlin's cheek to wipe his tears away, Merlin mentally willed Arthur's armor off. Each piece disappeared one by one off of his body, leaving him in only his tunic and trousers. The armor had placed itself in a pile on the other end of the room, to be found later.

Arthur, now free of the weight of his armor, climbed into his bed beside Merlin and held him close. He pulled him to lean his head against Arthur's shoulder, but then he thought differently and pulled Merlin directly into his lap. He shushed him softly, rubbing his hand up and down Merlin's back, the other through his hair, holding his head on Arthur's shoulder. Arthur couldn't bear to see Merlin in such pain, especially since it was at his own expense. It brought back memories of the night they'd met, which made him think of how vulnerable Merlin had been, letting Arthur in even after the intensity of what he'd been through before.

"It's alright, Merlin. You're here with me, and everything is fine. We're together and nothing is going to tear us apart." Arthur said, knowing it to be true. He would willingly die before he let anyone take Merlin away from him. "Sleep now, it's getting late and I know you're still tired."

"But shouldn't I go back to Gaius's?" Merlin asked, voice hoarse before sniffling. He lifted his head up and looked right at Arthur, "I don't want to cause you any trouble."

"Merlin, don't you understand? This isn't just for you. I want you here. And don't worry about the trouble, I will be up bright and early enough tomorrow to make it to training and then no one will have to look for me."

"If you're sure..."

"Of course I'm sure." Arthur let Merlin down off his lap and onto the bed, moving to take his own shirt off and tossing it away and onto the floor. When he turned back, Merlin had done the same, and had already lied down on his pillow beside Arthur. He looked up at him, holding his gaze. Arthur barely noticed the candlelight had dimmed until it was completely dark around them. Then, the fire began to blaze brighter from across the room, and a flood of warmth ran over his entire body. The light from the fire allowed him enough to see the outline of Merlin's face but nothing more.

The structure of his cheeks stood out above all else, and the shadows they painted upon his already beautiful skin made him all the more alluring to the eye. Then, his lips, usually a pale pink, had fallen victim to the darkness and now seemed a dusky combination of rose red and the complete and utter blackness of the night sky. Finally, his eyes remained. They kept contact with his own, as if impatiently awaiting any movement toward him so he, himself, could return the touch. The blue within them was unable to be viewed in the dark, of course, but the glare of the light reflected and created the image of white stars peering up at him, granting him sanctuary in the dark depths they hid. Looking into them, the feeling of comfort slid around him and encompassed his very being, his soul.

Merlin was a beautiful gift that Arthur wanted to spend all his time unraveling.

He leaned down, finally, and those eyes followed him until their lips pressed together. Both of them sank into each other, closing their eyes and reaching their arms out to touch bare skin. Arthur's hand roved over Merlin's arm, sliding down it until it landed over his chest, and then the smooth skin of his stomach. As he did, he felt Merlin's heartbeat rise in anticipation. He licked at Merlin's bottom lip, convincing him to open his mouth and let Arthur into it. The wet warmth that greeted him brought him into a feeling of contentment.

Arthur let himself fall onto the bed on his side, tugging Merlin closer to him, still attached to his lips. He grabbed at Merlin's hip, pulling his body as close and he could possibly be. Their chests aligned, making them feel almost as if they were one. Arthur pulled away, but only to bury his face in Merlin's neck, planting kisses and sucking softly on his skin. It drew Merlin's voice out, first eliciting quiet whimpers that only encouraged Arthur, and then louder moans that drove him mad with want.

He wanted to have Merlin experience the deepest, most carnal of pleasures. Arthur wanted to be the person who pulled each and every sound from his mouth, touching his skin and alighting it like a fire. He wanted to bring Merlin to know the high of a climax, and the feeling of absolute serenity that followed it. Mostly, Arthur wanted to be with Merlin to experience it all together.

However, he knew now wasn't the time for it. Right now, Merlin needed to be held and have a full night's sleep, and Arthur would provide that. So, he pulled away from Merlin's neck and took a glance at his face, finding him panting with red cheeks. He leaned in again to place a chaste kiss on his lips, before pulling away and resting his head on his pillow, lying on his back.

"Sleep now, Merlin." Arthur said softly, and Merlin gave in, already yawning as he pillowed his head on Arthur's chest and let his weariness take over. 

In less than a few minutes he was breathing steadily in sleep, and Arthur joined him soon after.

~•~

When Merlin awoke, Arthur had already gone to morning training. As much as he wanted to stay in Arthur's bed all day, he knew he had to find Gaius and probably do some work for him. Merlin sat up in the bed and stretched his arms up, yawning, before sliding out of bed. When he did, he realized that he'd slept easily through the night, without a single dream to be remembered. He sighed contentedly, thinking that maybe he should just sleep in Arthur's bed every night.

~•~

When Merlin got to Gaius's, he avoided looking straight into that inquisitive eye, spouting a lie about how he'd been at a friend's for the night. After changing his clothes and cleaning up, he took the medicines Gaius needed to deliver as a further excuse to get away from any questions.

Once he'd gotten far enough away from Gaius and had begun making his way to the lower town, Merlin let out a breath of relief. He really didn't need Gaius to find out about his relationship with the prince, as he was sure it would cause Gaius to overthink and worry about Merlin's safety. It was ironic, really, because the place Merlin felt safest was in Arthur's arms.

He'd been walking down the street toward the lower town, when suddenly someone grabbed his wrist. Merlin gasped as a hand covered his mouth and he was pulled into an alley, fearing for his life. This person must know about his magic, he was going to be dead, dead! And Arthur wasn't there to protect him, how was he ever going to survive? When he was let go, he was pushed against the wall to face his captor and he could only gasp again when he found himself face to face with Gwaine.

"Sir Gwaine? What-?" Merlin started, but Gwaine interrupted him.

"So... How's Arthur?" Gwaine questioned, and Merlin's face reddened. How was he supposed to answer that? He backed himself farther into the wall, wondering that if he disappeared Gwaine would realize it was magic. Merlin stayed silent. "Oh, come on, Merlin! We all know you two are fucking, why don't you just admit it?" Merlin gaped at the audacity Gwaine had to say such a thing, wondering if he was intentionally being rude or if he was just like that.

"We are not fucking, and if the prince heard you talk like that he would have your head in a minute." Merlin returned, with anger beginning to boil under his skin. He turned away from Gwaine and began to walk away, but Gwaine grabbed his wrist and tugged him back before he could get farther than a few steps.

"Merlin, I saw you leaving his chambers today. You can't fool me." Merlin frowned. He pulled his wrist out of Gwaine's grasp and began to walk away. This time, Gwaine only followed him as they walked out of the alley and into the lower town.

"I was dropping something off for him from Gaius. Nothing else happened. He wasn't even in there."

"In the clothes you wore yesterday?" Merlin stopped. He tried to think of some way to deny the fact that he had been in there with Arthur all night, but couldn't find anything on the spot with Gwaine's insinuating gaze . Gwaine laughed. "Merlin, it's alright. I'm not planning on telling anyone."

"Then... what do you want from me? What was the point of this?"

"A drink."

"...A drink?"

"Yes, a drink. Let's go have one, so I can properly understand the man who has ensnared our prince."

"It's barely midday, Gwaine, and you want to go for drinks?" The two of them had made it to the lower town at this point, and Merlin was heading toward a small house to deliver a potion to, when Gwaine stopped and pulled at Merlin's wrist, stopping him as well. "You really need to stop that." Merlin droned.

"Sorry- but I'll abide you this time, how about at sunset? Meet me at the Rising Sun. I'll be offended if you don't show up." Gwaine said, smirking, before turning and taking off back toward the castle. Merlin sighed; it seemed he had no way out of this.

~•~

Merlin found out halfway through his evening that Gwaine was notorious for the amount of bar fights he got himself into. Sadly, in Merlin's case, the night didn't end with just a recollection of the various times it had happened before. Merlin received a live demonstration.

They were running through the lower town, trying to get away from the men that were following them. It was already dark, but that didn't seem to deter the men who so clearly wanted the money they claimed Gwaine owed them. Merlin and Gwaine ran down the cobblestone streets, their steps loud during the usually silent night. Behind them, however, the loud yells of the men from the tavern rang out above all other sound.

Gwaine ran ahead of Merlin, and they were very soon running out of road to run on. The gates of Camelot were very soon approaching, and though the men behind them were gaining, they still remained at enough away that they wouldn't notice if Merlin intercepted... but he couldn't let Gwaine find out either.

"Gwaine!" Merlin shouted, and when acknowledged with a turn of Gwaine's head, he continued, "Turn the corner immediately before the gate!"

"What?! Why?! They'll catch us!" Gwaine exclaimed.

"Just do it! And don't look back!" When they reached it, Gwaine turned into the alley without question. Merlin took the chance to turn around. He said a few words under his breath, lifting his hand toward the men that seemed to be getting closer very quickly. At his words, a large wheelbarrow of hay in their vicinity tipped over. The hay scattered in the air and fell over them, causing a few of them to fall over. Merlin held in a laugh, moving to hide behind a building on the opposite side of the street from Gwaine. After the men had all stood up, they looked toward where Merlin and Gwaine had been, only to find them gone.

At that, Merlin looked toward the forest that sat right outside the walls of Camelot; he reached a hand out, whispering in the old tongue and the trees and bushes shook as if they had been pushed aside to run through. That easily got the attention of the men, who ran toward the forest and into it without looking to find Merlin and Gwaine hiding right under their noses.

After he was sure they were gone, Merlin stepped out of his hiding place, beginning to sigh in relief. It could have been bad, if he had been arrested, he thought. Before he could think further, however, hands grabbed his shoulders and he was roughly shoved back into the wall. When Merlin recovered from the pain that had shot down his spine, he saw Gwaine standing in front of him with a unreadable look on his face.

"You're a sorcerer!" Gwaine claimed. "Why are you here?!" Merlin couldn't respond, but rather only stare at Gwaine, trying to find it in him to deny the accusation no matter if it was true. He couldn't, though, with memories of similar accusations in the past. The word monster rang through his mind like a warning bell. He couldn't help but think Gwaine would hand him over to the king, wasn't that what all knights did—uphold the law? Merlin, however, had no idea that Gwaine's thoughts had traveled in an entirely different direction. "Merlin, you would die if Arthur found out. He and his father are both relentless—really, what are you doing here? How did Arthur find you—MERLIN! You're fucking the prince– why are you fucking the prince?!"

Gwaine's anxiousness was endearing, really. Merlin found it very sweet that Gwaine cared so much for his safety, though they had barely known each other for very long. However, now he had to deal with the fact that the loud mouth Gwaine knew a secret that Merlin didn't want the entire city to know. Of course, he was sure Gwaine would keep it—Arthur wouldn't have knighted him if he hadn't been trustworthy—but having another person know about his magic brought on more complications than when it was only two people.

"Gwaine! Are you trying to tell the entirety of Camelot?!" Gwaine, who had been rambling on still about Merlin and his relationship with Arthur, immediately shit his mouth. "And you don't have to worry about Arthur, he, um, already knows." At first, Gwaine's mouth dropped into a gape, as if disbelieving that Arthur was already privy to Merlin's biggest secret. But then, as if gears were turning in his head, his mouth slowly closed and his lips rose into a smooth smirk. Then, he let go of Merlin's shoulders and stepped away from the wall.

"Ah, I see. That was why Arthur was so adamant on hiding you from Uther. Not because you two are fucking, but because of your magic. It's all clear now." Gwaine stated. Merlin stepped away from the wall, brushing off the dust from the sleeves of his jacket.

"Congratulations, you've solved it. Now let's go back to a castle and you can explain to Arthur why we reek of alcohol and sweat." Merlin grabbed Gwaine's wrist and began pulling him out of the lower town and toward the castle.

"You know, alcohol makes you very rude—more than usual."

"Shut up, Gwaine!"

~•~

Merlin's time in Camelot seemed to be getting better as the days passed. After the ordeal with Gwaine (which had ended with Gwaine delivering him to Arthur's chambers, late at night, declaring that the prince better take good care of Merlin if he didn't want a trusted knight to leave his service), Merlin had found a good friend in both him and Lancelot. Along with them, he had been introduced to Lancelot's fiancé, Guinevere. The two of them quickly became very close friends.

Merlin slept in Arthur's chambers every night, wrapped up in strong arms and warm blankets. There were no nightmares to speak of, and Merlin only continued to feel more and more rejuvenated each morning. Arthur, however, remained a grump in the morning, refusing to let go of Merlin and let him leave the bed. As much as he would have liked to stay wrapped around Arthur for more time, he always found a way to persuade him to get out of bed.

As for Gaius, Merlin was almost completely sure that he knew what was going on, but kept silent about it for Merlin's own sake. He practiced his magic more, and had graduated himself to more difficult spells, even learning the offensive ones. The word, monster, that had ever so plagued his mind began to withdraw from it, leaving behind an empty space he chose to fill with his newfound knowledge of magic. It made him grow stronger in every way.

Overall, everything seemed to be getting better, brighter, after spending so long in the dark. Now that he had it, Merlin didn't ever want his reign of happiness to end.

~•~

Merlin watched on as Arthur accepted the mission from his father, in front of the entire court. There were invaders at the eastern border, looking to reach Camelot and take it over from the inside. Uther believed that they were Cenred's men, begging to start a war between them as the two of them had held a long stalemate; it was only natural that it would have had to be broken at some point. However, Uther hadn't planned on this attack for a long time, knowing Cenred had never had the resources in order to uphold an attack. Though he didn't say it, Merlin could tell that Uther was afraid magic had some involvement in the spontaneous attack.

So Arthur nodded at the words of his father, accepting the request to take a small band of knights to the border to fend off the initial invaders. If they were heavy in numbers, Arthur would return with word for his father without engaging. However, reports had shown that the amount of invaders was small, and a team of ten knights should be able to defeat them without a problem.

As Arthur exited the throne room, Merlin followed. He had a nervous feeling in his gut, indicating that something was most indefinitely going to go wrong. There was no explanation for it; he thought maybe his magic was trying to tell him something, but he couldn't figure it out. All that he knew was that he didn't want Arthur to go on the mission, for fear of his life.

When they reached Arthur's chambers, Merlin snuck into the room behind Arthur, shutting the door behind them. The click alerted Arthur of his presence, making him turn around to see Merlin flashing an nervous smile at him. Arthur smiled back, though his eyebrows furrowed in question afterward. He seemed to know Merlin had something to say, so he lifted a hand and made a gesture to tell him to get on with it.

"I... don't think you should take this mission." Merlin breathed out. Arthur scoffed, walking toward Merlin and wrapping his arms around his waist.

"Merlin, I appreciate that you're worried for my safety, but you have to understand. I've done this a million times; I'm going to be fine." He reassured, running a hand over Merlin's soft black hair. Merlin rested his head on Arthur's shoulder, wondering if he was right and that Merlin shouldn't worry. Arthur was the strongest knight of Camelot, and he had gone on similar missions for so many years before. "Is this concern stemming from the fact that I haven't left Camelot since you've arrived?" Arthur asked, softly, making it clear he wasn't making any assumptions that might offend Merlin. He had a right to ask the question, really, Merlin knew. Arthur had been the one constant in his life since he'd arrived in Camelot, and to have that taken away would make anyone distressed.

"Possibly? I'm honestly not sure, it's just, my magic, it feels like it's telling me something. ...Like something bad is going to happen to you."

"Have you been having nightmares again? Merlin, I'm going to be just fine. I swear on my father's life that I will come back to you safely." Arthur planted a kiss on Merlin's forehead, pulling him closer. Merlin's arms went straight to his shoulders, and then Arthur leaned in to claim Merlin's lips for his own. They opened of their own accord, allowing their tongues to slide against each other before Arthur's entered Merlin's mouth. This brought a moan from Merlin, and Arthur reveled in the sound, slowly letting his hands fall down Merlin's back until they settled at his hips.

When they pulled away, Merlin still had an unsettling look on his face, but Arthur realized that there was no way to assure him that nothing was going to go wrong. He only hoped Merlin wouldn't stress over it too much and do something rash.

"I have to leave at dawn." Arthur sighed. "Would you like to have dinner with me?" He took one of Merlin's hands and kissed the back of it. Merlin was weak at Arthur's hands, and he knew that Arthur was aware of it. As if he would ever deny such a request, hmph, he thought. However, Merlin played along, and was glad to see the bright smile that stretched across Arthur's face.

"I would love to."

~•~

The next day, Arthur's party left—taking Gwaine and Lancelot along with them—and Merlin was left running chores for Gaius all day. He and Gwen had planned to spend some time together in the evening, but Merlin found he needed some sort of relief at midday. Gaius had had him run to make deliveries, clean the floor, and the leech tank. There was still more to do on the list, and though he liked being busy and not letting himself have enough time to think about Arthur and how he must be doing on the mission, he was still exhausted from all the work. He kept at it, though, after taking a short break where all his thoughts had wondered of Arthur; the distraction the work offered seemed better than the fatigue that followed.

That night, when Merlin fell into his bed, he fell asleep almost instantly.

However, he found himself shoved into wakefulness in the midst of the night. He woke up panting, sitting up in his bed, and the first thought that entered his head was Arthur's in danger. Merlin didn't know what to do, and he knew this wasn't just his nerves trying to get ahold of him. Arthur really was in danger, and Merlin couldn't do anything about it. He lied back down on his bed, trying to shut the thoughts out, but his mind blurred with images of the nightmares that had occurred so long ago. Tears poured out of his eyes, and he released quiet sobs at the sight of it all, at the thought that any of those instances could have already happened.

He stayed awake the rest of the night.

~•~

When Merlin found it in him to get out of bed in the morning, he entered the main room of Gaius's chambers and found the old man serving up his breakfast. He lugged himself over to the table and sat down, avoiding Gaius's gaze on him.

"Ah, Merlin. I was just about to come and wake you." Gaius said. Somehow, Merlin mustered the energy to look up at him, when Gaius saw him, he almost dropped the bowl he was holding, catching himself before he did. Merlin's eyes were shot red, with dark bags beneath his eyes and shiny tear tracks staining his cheeks. "Merlin, what's happened?" Gaius asked, his tone demanding answers because he knew there weren't many things that could cause Merlin to cry. Merlin sighed.

"It's Arthur." His voice was rough; it was almost lost from the amount of time he had spent sobbing overnight. "My magic—he's in danger! I don't know what to do!" Merlin coughed, and Gaius handed him a cup of water to soothe his dry throat. After gulping it down heartily, Merlin panted, his heart rate growing in fear of the possibilities. Before he could continue to ponder, however, the sound of horses stampeding into the courtyard alarmed both him and Gaius. Merlin ran over to the window, watching as two knights rode in—he would recognize Lancelot and Gwaine anywhere.

Even when they were covered in dirt and blood.

Arthur wasn't with them. Not that Merlin expected him to be, he had learned a long time ago not to doubt his magic's capabilities. As relieved as he was to see his friends alive and well, he couldn't help but fear for Arthur's life. The knights had obviously brought news with them, as they climbed off their horses and quickly paced into the entrance of the castle. Merlin knew they would meet the king to announce what had occurred on the mission, as well as decide what to do as a result. He ran out of Gaius's room to meet them.

~•~

When Merlin reached the throne room, it was filled with servants and knights whispering and gossiping about Lancelot and Gwaine's return without the prince. He pushed through the crowds, making his way toward the front of them so he could see the knights in the middle of the room, waiting for the king to arrive. Merlin skirted his way around the front of the crowd until he was at the front of the room, looking over at Gwaine and Lancelot. They were speaking to each other quietly, over the dull roar of their surroundings. Merlin caught Lancelot's eye and motioned for him to come over; Gwaine followed.

"What happened?" Merlin asked the two of them. They acknowledged the tense look on his face, and Gwaine put a hand on his shoulder as a light form of comfort. Then, Gwaine looked at Lancelot, conveying that he wanted him to tell Merlin what had happened. Lancelot sighed at being forced to be the one to rip off the bandage, but he knew that he was better at those sorts of things than Gwaine.

"Prince Arthur..." Lancelot began, "He's been kidnapped."

Merlin's felt like his heart had dropped out of his chest. Kidnapped? That was the one possibility he hadn't considered, not thinking it was a likely situation. How could they ever have gotten ahold of him? Arthur was the fiercest, most skilled knight in all the land, and even the opposing kingdoms had agreed to that. In any normal fight, Arthur should have come out victorious—which led Merlin to believe that it definitely could not have been a simple fight of swords.

"Was it magic? Did they use magic to take him?" He spoke in a low voice, making sure no one outside the three of them could hear what he was saying.

"Yes." Gwaine said, "They apprehended us before we had the chance fight back. They killed everyone except for the two of us and Arthur because we escaped in time and they took Arthur for their own."

"Do you know where they could have taken him?" Merlin asked.

"No." Lancelot said. "Their bore no insignia, so it's likely they had nothing to do with Cenred. I think they're a radical magic group with a hate for Uther, but we haven't been able to find any information on them." After he had finished speaking, he noticed Merlin's face had gone entirely blank, and he was staring off at some point behind Lancelot's head. He looked at Gwaine, who looked back at him equally as confused. "Merlin? Are you alright?" Gwaine placed his hands on Merlin's shoulders and shook him, when he let go, Merlin shook his own head and came back to the present.

"I know where Arthur is." Merlin said. Gwaine knew why not to question him, but Lancelot did not. He decided he would ask for an explanation later.

Merlin turned and was about to leave back to his chambers so he could pack a few things for the trip he would be taking alongside the two knights, but then he realized he needed to inform the two of them of what they needed to do.

"Tell the king you followed them to their hide out to find out where it was before coming back to inform you and gather necessities. Make sure he doesn't request to send other knights with you, it has to be just the three of us. I'll tell you the rest later. We leave as soon as possible." And with that, Merlin left the throne room right as the king walked in.

~•~

After gathering supplies (and his magic book, which Gaius had insisted he take should it be of use in case Arthur was injured), Merlin and the two knights set off discreetly, out of Camelot and into the forests surrounding it. After Lancelot had told him that they didn't know where Arthur was, something had happened in his body. It was like... his magic took over. He felt his blood flow through his veins, heating inside him, as if the power was coursing through his entire body. Then, images reeled through his mind and showed him an abandoned castle, Arthur in chains, and a woman with a small army. Lastly, he'd seen Arthur lying with his cheek to the stone floor, wearing his armor, but his face was bruised and beaten. In his tortured sleep he moaned Merlin's name, as if his very mind was reaching out to him.

Merlin swore he would save Arthur, whatever the cost.

"So, Merlin," Lancelot said, "Would you like to explain why and how you know where the prince is?" Merlin swallowed. In the moment, he had momentarily forgotten that Lancelot wasn't aware of his magic. He hoped there wouldn't be consequences now that he had decided he was going to tell him about it.

"I... have magic. Always have, since I was born. Before you start to ask questions, I just want to tell you that Arthur already knows and he's the reason I'm in Camelot in the first place. My life before coming to Camelot was not the greatest, to say the least. He found me and helped me even after he found about about the magic, and I owe everything to him."

"Everything, huh?" Gwaine murmured, smirking. Merlin glared at him, drawing out a laugh from Gwaine.

"When you two were telling me about what had happened, something happened with my magic and then I just knew where he was and how to get to him. It's almost like my magic is tying Arthur and I together."

"That's..." Lancelot said, unable to come up with anything to say. He stopped trying, and instead focused on Merlin's admission. "Well, I don't know what to say about that, but I want you to know that I support you, and that your secret is safe with me." Lancelot smiled at Merlin, conveying that he would help Merlin whenever he needed it.

"I never doubted that you would." Merlin smiled back, as they continued on through the forests and toward the castle that held Arthur hostage—Merlin's magic leading the way.

~•~

When they reached the outer edge of the grounds, the three men looked in from the forest toward the castle. Mentally, each of them tried to devise a plan to save Arthur, but Merlin knew he was going to be the one to go through with it and that Lancelot and Gwaine would have to stay behind and come help only if needed.

"Alright," Merlin said, "You two are going to stay here and I am going to go retrieve Arthur so we can all escape safely."

"Merlin you have to be joking! We're the knights, and we are supposed to be helping you save Arthur. What if you get killed?!" Gwaine exclaimed.

"Gwaine, you have to remember that these people have magic. You stand no chance against them."

"And you do?"

"In comparison to you? Yes." Merlin said, and Gwaine groaned.

"I have to agree with Gwaine here, Merlin. There's no way you can go in there without us. If anything, we can at least have your back in case something happens." Lancelot said. As much as Merlin wanted to run off and leave them there, he knew they did have some sense in their statements. Backup was never a bad idea.

"Alright, fine. But stay near me."

The three of them walked with stealth toward the entrance to the castle, expecting to find guards that they would have needed to find a way around, but there weren't any. Slowly, Gwaine opened the door and looked in, finding a long hallway that led into darkness. Since night had fallen, there were a few torches lit inside, but not enough to light the entire hallway. Rather than create a room full of light, the torches along the walls only seemed to make more shadows from those that already were there. The flames created light that danced along the walls, never remaining for too long in fear that they would spot something horrid behind the darkness.

Merlin stepped in first, the sound of his boot on the stone floor echoing lowly through the hallway. He took another step, quieter this time, using his magic to see ahead into the blackness at the end of the hall. When he saw there was no one there, he motioned to Gwaine and Lancelot to follow him inside. The wooden door creaked shut behind them.

They made their way down to the end of the hallway, with a long, exotic red rug beneath their feet stretching across its entirety. coming to a staircase. It gave the abandoned castle the feel of royalty that it lacked from the outside. At the end, they reached a downward spiraling staircase, which was also made of stone. Once again, Merlin took the first step, making sure there was no trap hidden. Slowly, the three of them continued down the stairs until they reached the bottom.

In front of them lied another hallway, much more brightly lit than the first one they had encountered. The floors were wooden rather than the cold stone that had been above. Also, this one had many doors on both sides; Merlin realized that this was most likely where the door down to the cells was, but he didn't know which it could be.

"So, should we check all of them?" Gwaine asked, and Lancelot sighed.

"Not unless you want to be discovered and probably killed." Merlin said. "I think I can use my magic to find the right door, just give me a little time."

He focused on a single point on the wall at the end of the hallway, diverting all his attentions toward the magic inside him. Shutting his eyes, Merlin saw what he could not while they were open. Glimpses of the people past each door greeted him in his mind—a couple behind one, four men who looked like knights behind another, a lone woman in the last. The scenes played through, going into each doorway and showing Merlin what it held, until he reached one with another staircase leading down.

Immediately, he opened his eyes and knew exactly which door they need to go through to find Arthur. He motioned toward Lancelot and Gwaine, who had been silently watching him, to follow him. They made their way through the hallway as hushed as possible, reaching a door halfway down the hall and pushing it open gradually so it would not creak.

Unlike the hallway, the final staircase had no light whatsoever. For any of them to be able to see, Merlin had to conjure a flame in the palm of his hand and lead the way. They descended with caution, knowing there could be anything lurking behind the shadows. Merlin's heart beat quicker in his chest with each step that he took, his magic telling him that he was only getting closer and closer to Arthur.

When they reached the bottom, there way no entryway, no guards, and no light. There were only rows upon rows of empty cells along the walls. But Arthur was here, Merlin could feel in within him. He felt it, and then he ran to the right, all the way down to the end of the line of cells, his steps clapping against the stone floor.

And then he saw Arthur. He was slumped against the wall parallel to the bars, chains on his wrists. He wasn't wearing a chainmail, but rather an oversized garment that covered him from above the knees. His skin was littered with bruises and cuts, and his face was covered in a thin layer of dirt.

Arthur looked up and saw Merlin in front of him. The first expression Merlin saw on his face was relief, happiness, even. And then it immediately turned to fear.

"Merlin!" Arthur croaked, "What are you doing here? You have to get out!" The sound of his voice made Merlin's heart break, wanting to whisk him away and take him back to Camelot, put him in his bed and clean his injuries before wrapping him in warmth and letting him sleep the bags under his eyes away. The words Arthur had spoken didn't reach him until the second time around. By then, Lancelot and Gwaine had joined him in front of Arthur's cell. "You have to get out! This is a trap!" Arthur cried.

And then Lancelot and Gwaine were being held with swords to their throats. Merlin turned around; he came face to face with a woman, and the many guards behind her. She sneered at him.

"Ah, yes, Merlin. We meet, finally." She smiled a sickly sort of smile at him. As if she were trying to seduce him, but only to draw him into a web and feed him to her spiders. He stood his ground, knowing that showing his fear would be a straight path to his own and his friends' deaths.

"Who are you?" Merlin declared.

"How gracious of you to ask! If you must know, my name is Nimueh, and I am a priestess of the Old Religion."

"What do you want with me? I'm nothing, I would be of no use to you." She let out a wicked giggle, if that was even possible.

"Oh, Merlin, how you flatter yourself." She walked closer toward him until they were standing face to face. "You are the most powerful warlock in the world for the next thousand years." She leaned in closer to him in order to whisper, while keeping eye contact. "Imagine what we would accomplish, Merlin. The world would be ours—no kings or queens to thwart the power we have at our fingertips. We could destroy them with one thought. You could destroy them with one thought."

Merlin pushed her away. Anger boiled beneath his skin, and he could feel his magic taking over with his change in emotion. The flames that had sat dormant for so long were reawakening, but he had control over them now. He fizzled the fire inside of him at will, preventing himself from catching.

"It seems as if you've made your decision." Nimueh said, gritting her teeth. "Well, if you don't want to join me I'll just have to take your power for myself. Attack!" She exclaimed at her army of guards, who moved at the sound of her words. Two of them still held Lancelot and Gwaine detained, so Merlin had no aid.

"Merlin! You're going to get yourself killed!" Arthur yelled from behind the cell bars.

"Listen to Arthur, Merlin. Don't be the reason your friends die. This is your last chance." Nimueh said, halting her army.

"Never will I join you." Merlin declared, preparing himself for the onslaught of weapons and magic that he undoubtedly knew were going to be coming toward him.

They did, but he was ready. A spear at his left, deflected with a swipe of his hand, back toward the knight who threw it. He dropped to his knees and landed on his face. The swing of a sword at his right, magic plucking it from its owner's hands and turning it against him. He ran and the sword followed. An arrow straight toward his face sent into the ground before it reached him.

It went on as so, with Merlin using his magic to defend himself and attack back at the army. When he began to feel tired, half of them had been taken out but there were still so many left. He didn't know what to do, and fatigue was taking him rapidly. The rough, continuous use of magic wasn't something that he was used to, and it was showing very quickly as time went on.

He panted, stopping his movements for a few seconds to catch his breath. Sweat dripped from his brow, landing on the floor as he wiped it away. The knights continued to advance and Nimueh sat and watched on, a smirk on her face. Merlin was furious. All he wanted to do was take her down, remove her from the powerful position she had put herself in. He had learned to control his emotions and his magic, and now he would use it to unleash the power Nimueh had spoken of, the one he had been gifted with at birth.

Merlin spoke in the words of the old tongue. At first, it was in a low voice, but steadily his voice grew in volume until he was yelling at the end. When he finished, there was a pause and the room was silent—everyone was waiting for the effect.

Then, suddenly, a powerful wind blew from behind Merlin toward Nimueh and her army. Each guard was thrown off his feet one by one, and thrown into the far wall at an alarming speed. As they did, Merlin could hear the pain he inflicted, their spines breaking like branches beneath one's feet. Nimueh stood in her place, the magic ineffective toward her, except for sweeping her hair behind her.

When her army was gone, Nimueh stood alone. The guards who had held Lancelot and Gwaine also had been pulled into the wind, though the two of them had not. They stood at Merlin's side, ready to assist him in defeating Nimueh. Merlin motioned for them to stay back, while keeping eye contact with her, waiting for some type of attack.

"Lancelot, Gwaine, get Arthur out of his cell. I will handle her." The two knights looked to each other, as if wanting to stay and help, but obliged anyway. They knew that they would only get in Merlin's way if they tried to fight back.

Arthur had been watching from his cell the entire time. He couldn't believe the abilities Merlin possessed at his fingertips, nor how much he had grown since arriving to Camelot. The small, petrified boy who he'd found in the caves that day was no more. In his place stood a man who could kill when necessary, and move mountains with a single word.

Arthur found the differences only strengthened his love for Merlin.

Merlin stood, waiting for Nimueh to make the first move. She didn't, however, only staring back at him as it waiting for the same.

"You see what you can do, Merlin. Wouldn't you want to hone your skills? That wind storm was child's play in comparison to what I am capable of." Nimueh claimed; Merlin knew she was bluffing. The wind storm he'd conjured was a difficult spell and he had never been able to do it before. His magic had taken over, but only enough to let him use its power rather than dictate what he did.

"Why don't you show me, then?" Merlin requested. He wanted to see her attempts and foil them before they began.

Nimueh incanted under her breath, and fire began to circle around them, trapping the two of them in a ring. The height of it grew, until they were completely separated from the others. She wanted to kill him; Merlin clenched his teeth.

"How about this, Merlin? Does this please you?" She smirked, and then he stepped out of the ring without burning. Merlin was left in it alone. The area within the circle began to decrease, with plans to burn him.

Arthur, now free from his cell, watched on at the flames encircled Merlin and moved inward. He wanted to scream for Merlin to get out, to use his magic and save himself, but his voice wouldn't work. Gwaine and Lancleot gripped his arms firmly, preventing him from running toward the fire himself and getting Merlin out of there.

"No!" Arthur sobbed, "NO!"

"Arthur," Lancelot said, and it felt unnatural for him to call the prince by his name, but he knew they had already grown past titles long ago. "Merlin is capable of taking care of himself, he will be fine. If you rush in, the only one who is going to be injured is you."

Arthur nodded, he knew that, of course. But watching Merlin die before his eyes was not something he wanted to experience, and his emotions had ruled over his clear thoughts. He tried to get his thoughts straight, but all he could focus on was Merlin in that ring of fire as it closed in on him, what he could be doing inside of it.

His questions were answered as Merlin emerged from the flames, fully encased in them. He did not burn, and Arthur's eyes flashed back to when he had seen the exact same image in the caves. It was the same, but different. Last time, Merlin had been frightened and nervous about showing his power, but now he wielded it in his hands like the weapon he knew it was. He knew the damage he could cause, but it did not unsettle him. Rather, it have him the confidence to stand against his foes.

Merlin glared at Nimueh, who was staring back at him in fear. He'd just taken the brunt of her power and brandished it as his own. It clearly showed his dominance in skill against hers and she was afraid of what he could do. That must have been why she had been so enthused about taking him as one of her own, so she could use that which she did not have against her enemies.

The ring of fire still held, until Merlin faced it and moved a hand to get rid of it. It disappeared into the ground without a trace. Then, he turned and faced Nimueh.

"You have a choice, Nimueh. Either leave and never return or burn for all the evils you have committed." Merlin stated.

Nimueh did not move. She had made her decision.

The ring of fire erupted again around her, closing in just as it had on Merlin. However, she did not step out nor did she scream in the agony she should have been going through. At Merlin's hand, the fire dissipated and Nimueh was gone. He had a feeling she would never be returning.

The tension left his shoulders and they dropped. The weariness from the immense amounts of magic he had used flooded through his body, and he could barely keep himself up. He started to walk over to where the other three were, but he struggled and stumbled until he fell into Arthur's arms. He let himself be held, exhausted from the fight, but wrapped his arms around Arthur's back. Tears fell from his eyes in relief that everyone was alright, that all of them had survived.

Merlin kept his face in the crook of Arthur's neck as the three knights spoke about the journey home. He didn't listen or think about what was to come when they returned back to Camelot, all he did was revel in the warmth of Arthur's skin and his hands around him. How he was safe now, and Merlin swore on his life that he would always protect Arthur, always fight for him.

He was fast asleep before they left the castle.

~•~

When Merlin awoke, he was in Arthur's bed, shirtless. It was dark outside the window, but for some reason he knew it wasn't the same day as the mission. The candles were lit, but Arthur wasn't in the room. Merlin sat up and tried to regain some sort of energy, but he found he was still very tired. His limbs ached and his head throbbed, no doubt a side-effect from his extensive use of magic when he'd defeated Nimueh's army.

The thought made images replay through his head. He saw the castle as it towered over them, the first hallway, the doors, the blackness of the stairs down into the dungeons, void of all light, the cells, Arthur, Arthur, Arthur. He'd done it all for Arthur, who was now safe and sound, probably having dinner with his father. Arthur, who cared for him when no one else had, who showed him a world he had never expected to see, Camelot, and all the friends he never would have made if he hadn't come. Arthur, who kept him safe from nightmares, but also from his own father, the king.

It was then that Arthur stepped into his chambers, shutting the door behind him. He saw Merlin was awake and smiled at him brightly, immediately coming over and wrapping him in a hug. He climbed onto the bed beside Merlin, taking his face in his hands and placing their lips together. Merlin reached for Arthur's hair, moaning as Arthur's tongue breached his mouth. He tugged on blonde hair, drawing a moan from Arthur as well; it made Merlin smile into their kiss, glad that he could have this with him.

They pulled apart but kept close and wrapped around each other. Arthur rubbed his thumb over Merlin's cheek.

"You've been asleep for two days." He said, softly.

"And yet, I'm still tired." Merlin smiled and Arthur chuckled.

"I imagine you would be, after doing what you did." Arthur said, but Merlin was silent. He couldn't think of anything to say. "Thank you, Merlin, for coming after me."

"You would have done the same for me. You already have." And then Merlin took Arthur's hand and kissed his palm, before letting Arthur trace his lips with his thumb.

"This was different. You risked your life."

"You risk yours everyday, keeping me here, being with me." Merlin said. "I would do no less for the one I love." He closed his eyes, and then Arthur claimed his lips with his own. He sucked on Merlin's bottom lip, before retreating and kissing his cheek, his jawline, his neck, and his collarbone.

"I love you, Merlin. Everything about you draws me in, and I only find that I want to know more, unravel more of your secrets and sorrows. To be there with you, facing your fears." Merlin felt Arthur's words fall through his body and touch his bones, sending a warm feeling down his spine.

"I love you, Arthur." Merlin whispered. He didn't need to reiterate everything Arthur had said, knowing he was already aware it was the same for both of them. They would be together to face every problem they encountered from now on, protecting each other from harm. He would follow Arthur into battle if need be and Arthur would do the same.

Arthur, who he loved with his whole heart.

Merlin kissed him, expressing everything he felt for the man that had saved him from the darkness. Love, passion, and desire burst from his heart and all he wanted was to wrap himself in Arthur's arms and never leave.

They had saved each other, and they would continue to, time and time again. When they had first met, Merlin had been convinced he was a monster, but now... everything had changed since that night. The two of them had grown since Merlin had arrived in Camelot, and now he knew the truth about himself—he had never been a monster and never would be, even if he had killed a hundred men. No, he would be the courage to Arthur's strength, the magic to his sword, and the love of his life.

And so, he was.