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Chapter Text

Han Mubo had always had a firm grip on his life. He knew what he wanted, what he was good at, and where his friends were. He had it all planned out. He was going to graduate from Beijing University of Art with a degree in classical music, with the cello as his main instrument. After that, he was going to get a stable job as a cellist in a professional orchestra. And hopefully, he would meet and marry someone nice that would complete him. It was quite a nice future, he thought.

So, when his professor in January his last semester suddenly threw something unexpected at him, he was not ready.

"We all know that you are an excellent cellist, and almost as good on the violin, but for your final project we want you to do something out of your comfort zone," she told him.

"Out of my comfort zone?" Mubo echoed.

"Yes," his professor said and nodded. "We want you to make a collaboration with another student."

“Another classical music student?" he asked, thinking that that didn't sound too hard. Maybe he could ask You Zhangjing to sing for him.

"No," his professor said.

"No?"

"No. Out of your comfort zone, Han Mubo. How is working with another student from your one field going outside your comfort zone?"

"I don't know," he confessed, feeling a bit stupid.

"All the senior students are doing this as a final project. We want you to find someone in another program and to a collaboration with them. What kind of project you decide to do is up to you," his professor explained.

"How do I find someone to work with? Does it have to be a senior student?" he asked, thinking that he could maybe trick Qin Zimo or Jing Peiyao to work with him in some way.

"No, it does not," his professor said, "But if it's a younger student, the work-load on you might be bigger since they don't have to do this project. So, we highly advice you to choose someone in your own year."

"And if I can't find someone?"

"Then you'll be assigned someone. I heard that Dong Yanlei is looking for someone to work with," she said with a little smirk.

"Thank you, professor," Mubo said quickly, "I'll do my best to find someone." He gave her a slight bow and left with a sense of dread in his stomach. What was he going to do?

-

"How's your final project coming along?" Jing Peiyao asked a week after Mubo had gotten the assignment.

"Bad," Mubo answered and put his head on the table. "Everyone already has a partner. Even Li Junyi is taken. He at least looked sorry when he told me no. Why doesn't anyone want to work with me?"

"It's your aura, you look like you think you're better than everyone else," Qin Zimo provided and put down the notes his been busy going through before Mubo came and disturbed his and Peiyao’s study session.

"I do not," Mubo said and glared over at Zimo who hid behind Peiyao.

"You look scary as hell," Zuo Ye chimed in from the sofa.

"You should be careful with what you say," Mubo threaten and pointed at the younger man. "I could kick you out."

"Sorry, Bo-ge," the youngest quickly said. "You're not scary at all."

"No, not scary at all," Peiyao said, tone heavy with sarcasm. Mubo glared at him.

Sometimes he wondered how he'd come to live with the three younger men. They hadn’t known each other before Mubo put out an advertisement that he needed a roommate. After some questionable people, he’d met with Jing Peiyao. The younger had a calm that worked well with Mubo and he’d moved in. So far so good.

Peiyao knew Qin Zimo since before, and he'd been thrown out from his apartment and needed somewhere to live. Peiyao had persuaded Mubo to let Zimo live with them. He’d promised that Zimo was calm and orderly. But since Mubo's apartment only had two bedrooms, Zimo and Peiyao had to share a bunk bed in Peiyao's bedroom. Mubo had to confess that he liked Zimo, the boy brought in more laughter in the apartment. But what he hadn’t counted with was the change it would bring in Peiyao who had turned much more mischievous with Zimo.

Where they had found Zuo Ye Mubo had no idea. But one day the boy was suddenly sleeping on their sofa. Zimo had suggested that Zou Ye and Mubo shared a bunk bed as well, but Mubo had only glared on him until he'd dropped it. So, for now – now being the lasts months – Zuo Ye slept on their sofa.

"Why do I let you guys live here?" Mubo complained.

"Because you can't pay the rent all by yourself," Peiyao said, always the voice of reason.

"And you love us deep down," Zimo added.

"Very very deep down in that case," Mubo deadpanned.

"Gege, you need to go out and do something fun to get your mind off things, and I know just the thing!" Zuo Ye said suddenly and jumped off the sofa.

"I don't think your idea of fun is the same as mine," Mubo said with a suspicious look at Zuo Ye who placed his hands on the table and leaned forward.

"Come on, I promise it will be fun," Zuo Ye grinned.

"I do not trust you when you grin like that," Mubo said and pointed at Zuo Ye's face. His grin slid off his face.

"Come on, gege, please."

"Didn't your professor tell you to step outside your comfort zone?" Peiyao said slyly.

"For the project, yes. Not for my everyday life," Mubo shoot back.

"I think you will enjoy it, gege" Zimo said.

"So, you know what he's trying to drag me along to?" Mubo said and looked at them all. Peiyao and Zimo nodded. "Can you please tell me what it is before I agree to anything?"

The three didi's exchanged a look. Zimo sighed.

"It's the rap students open stage," he said.

"Rap? You want me to come along to a rap performance?" Mubo said disbelievingly.

"Yes, Cai Xukun is performing!" Zuo Ye said excitingly.

"Who?" Mubo said. The name sounded a bit familiar, but he couldn't place it. Zuo Ye looked at him like he'd insulted his whole family and stepped on his honour.

"Who? WHO?!"

"Seriously, ge, how can you have missed who Cai Xukun is?" Zimo said, disbelievingly. "Ye-di talks about nothing else. Literally. If I hear another word about Cai Xukun I might scream."

"I usually stop listening," Mubo confessed with a shrug. Peiyao shook his head and Zimo patted Zuo Ye on the arm, who pouted with sad puppy eyes.

"Now you kind of have to come with us to the show, to make up for the fact that you don't listen to us," Peiyao said and Zimo nodded. Zuo Ye looked up, looking all excited again, now like a happy puppy. Mubo had found that he had a really hard time saying no to that face.

"Fine," he finally said with a sigh. The three didi's high-fived each other and Mubo was already regretting agreeing.

-

So that’s how he found himself outside an underground club, not far from campus, on a regular Thursday night. The event seemed to be dragging quite the crowd and Mubo felt terribly out of place.

“I told you to wear something else,” Zimo told him when he saw Mubo pulling at his shirt. Mubo glared at him. The three others were dressed more like the rest of the crowd, with ripped jeans and hoodies in various shape and colour. Mubo, on the other hand, had black jeans without rips and a shirt with a grey coat over. He felt overdressed and wrong.

“Come on now, we need to get good spots,” Zuo Ye said excitedly and dragged them inside. Zimo and Peiyao took each of Mubo’s arms and led him inside. They were probably afraid that he was going to leave if they didn’t hold on to him. They were right, of course.

Inside it was not as crowded as Mubo had feared, even if there were a lot of people there. Zuo Ye dragged them almost all the way up to the stage, but they still didn’t stand packed against each other, which was a relief.

Zuo Ye was so excited that he was practically bouncing. Mubo pulled his arms free from Zimo and Peiyao.

“I’m not going to leave. Promise,” he said. Now that he was inside he might as well stay. For at least one performance. Then he couldn’t promise anything.

Zimo gave him a suspicious look. And Peiyao mumbled: “Yeah, right.” And rolled his eyes. But at least they didn’t try to hold on to him again.

Zuo Ye suddenly hushed them. “It’s starting,” he whispered and hit Zimo excitedly a couple of times.

“Yes, I can see that, stop hitting me,” Zimo hissed back and slapped the youngest’s hand away.

The crowd cheered when a young man stepped out on the staged. Mubo had to blink a couple of times because that person couldn’t be real? He looked like a fairy prince from a book. The people around him seemed to think the same because they started to scream:

“Fairy! Fairy Zhou Rui! Beauty Zhui Rui!”

The man – Zhou Rui apparently – held up his hand and the crowd went silent.

“Welcome to tonight’s open stage performance!” Zhou Rui said into the mic and the audience cheered again. “I’m your host for the evening and my name is…” He held a hand to his ear and the audience immediately screamed:

“Zhou Rui!”

Zhou Rui smiled satisfied. “Tonight, we have some very exciting artists here, both solo artists and some pairs.”

“Cai Xukun!” many people screamed, Zuo Ye being one of them. The other three backed away from him a bit, pretending that they didn’t know him.

“Yes, our own Kunkun is one of the artists here tonight,” Zhou Rui grinned. “But let’s save the best for last, shall we? Let’s start with an old friend of this stage. Give it up for Xu Shengen!”

The crowd cheered.

Mubo had a better time that he’d expect. The music wasn’t what he usually listened to, but he could appreciate the artist’s talent and passion for their work. After Shengen followed someone named Li Rang, who had an even lower voice than the man before. After that came a duo of two ridiculously tall guys. Mubo wasn’t short, but the tallest of the two must be at least a decimetre taller than him. It didn’t help that they both were handsome as well.

“That’s Pinkray and Katto,” Zuo Ye yelled in Mubo’s ear when he saw his shocked face. Mubo just nodded.

After them came another duo. The crowd went wild when Zhuo Rui introduced them as J.Zen and Xiao Gui. These two were an even more interesting pair than the duo before. One of them had dreads and a mischievous smirk that gave Mubo a bad feeling and the other one had a cold stare and looked like he could kill you without lifting an eyebrow, but at the same time, he reminded Mubo of the little monster Huba, which was a really weird combination. Their energy on the stage captured Mubo and he found himself enjoying their performance.

“Those two are one of the most popular acts on open stage nights,” Zuo Ye yelled over the cheers when the duo left the stage.

“I can see why,” Mubo nodded and clapped his hands with the rest of the crowd.

“Now we only have two acts left,” Zhou Rui came up to the stage and the crowd did a sad noise, and some started to chant:

“Cai Xukun, Cai Xukun, Cai Xukun!”

Zhuo Rui held up his hands. “Patience,” he smirked. “Before we welcome up our last duo, let’s invite an oldie but a goodie up on the stage. Let’s hear it for Roi!”

“I’m just a year older than you!” came a voice from behind the stage as the crowd cheered and laughed. Zhou Rui just gave the guy a wink as they passed each other on and off the stage.

The man that stepped up on the stage gave Mubo a different vibe than the other rappers. He smiled easily and waved at the crowd that cheered again. And he was beautiful. Not in the same way as Zhou Rui, and not as handsome as Pinkray and Katto – he thought that that was their names – and not as interesting attractive as J.Zen. Mubo dubbed this guy foolish beauty. Because he made it look so effortless – and also because his easy smile struck Mubo as foolish. It didn’t really fit this stage.

“Hello,” the guy smiled. “Are you having a good time?” The crowd cheered, and the guy smiled even wider.

His rap was smooth, but with a slight rasp, and it was more laidback than the other rappers. Mubo found himself really liking his style more than the others. He was kind of disappointed when his performance ended and Zhou Rui stepped back out on the stage.

“Give it up for, Roi!” he shouted, and the crowd cheered again. Peiyao and Zimo gave Mubo a weird look when he also cheered instead of just clapping his hands like before. He chose to ignore them.

“Now it’s time for the grand finale,” Zhou Rui continued. “The duo you all have been waiting for. Let me hear you scream for Kunkun and Boogie!”

The crowd went absolutely wild. Zuo Ye jumped up and down and screamed like possessed. The two rappers that stepped out on the stage weren’t what Mubo had expected. They were both tall and lanky, one with light brown hair that bounced over his forehead and one with black hair with an undercut and a little ponytail. The slightly shorter one introduced himself as Kunkun with a cheeky smile – Mubo guessed that he was the one named Cai Xukun judging by Zuo Ye’s screams – and the other as “BOOGIE, Wang Ziyi.”

“Huh,” Mubo said. “He doesn’t look like I expected… he looks like...”

“Sex on legs,” Zuo Ye sighed dreamingly. Mubo rolled his eyes.

“Not the words I would have used, but sure,” he said. He thought that Cai Xukun looked softer than what he obviously was aiming for. Mubo guessed he wanted to give out the same vibe as his mysterious partner. The thing Mubo appreciated the most with their performance was their chemistry. They worked perfectly together like they were one body and one mind. It was fascinating to watch.

Eventually, the night ended, and they practically had to drag Zuo Ye out from the club. He wanted to see if he could catch another glimpse of Cai Xukun. But Mubo was tired and wanted to go home.

“If you don’t come know I’ll have you walk home,” he threatened and pulled Zuo Ye after him.

“But, ge…” Zuo Ye whined, “What if he comes out and I get a chance to talk to him?”

“What would you say?” Zimo teased. “You would just be a blushing mess.”

“’Oh, Cai Xukun, I love you, please be mine forever’,” Peiyao said with a high-pitched voice and batted his eyelashes.

“Too bad he already has a boyfriend,” Mubo said. At that Zuo Ye stopped dead.

“What?”

“He has a boyfriend?” Mubo repeated and tried to get Zuo Ye to move again. But the younger just stared at him with his mouth open, unable to comprehend what he’d just heard.

“Who do you know that?” Zimo asked, surprised.

“Yeah, you didn’t even know how Xukun was a couple days ago,” Peiyao added. He seemed equally surprised.

Mubo looked between them, wondering why they were so surprised. “The boy with him on stage? Isn’t that Xukun’s boyfriend?” he asked, confused. He had been so sure that they were partners both on and off stage.

“Ziyi?” Zuo Ye croaked. He looked like someone had smashed him in the face.

“If that’s his name, so yes,” Mubo said and shook his head at them. “You didn’t see the way they looked at each other? It was so obvious.”

“Well, now that you say it…” Zimo said and scratched his chin. Peiyao nodded. Zuo Ye still just looked like the world had ended.

“Not that it’s important. Can we just go home now?” Mubo continued. He had not meant for this to be a discussion. He’d thought it was common knowledge.

Zimo had to lead Zuo Ye to the car since he was still out of it. But thanks to that, the ride home was surprisingly peaceful. Mubo fell asleep with the thought of that the night hadn’t been so bad and for some reason the last thing he saw was the guy with the foolish beauty, smiling as he rapped.

-

"Have you found someone to do your final project with yet?" Dong Yanlei asked and wiggled his eyebrows at Mubo.

Mubo had considered not getting coffee today when he saw that Dong Yanlei was the only one working in the campus coffee shop. But his need for coffee was bigger than his dread for talking to the other man.

"Not yet," Mubo confessed. "But no, I will not work with you," he added when Yanlei opened his mouth again.

"Don't worry, you'll be desperate enough soon," Yanlei said with a wink, not at all discouraged. Dong Yanlei was a fashion major and he had quite a reputation. But he didn't let that get him down. And people seemed to like him well enough anyway.

"Yeah, I might be..." Mubo said and sighed. He'd had no luck in finding a partner. All the people he could consider to work with had already found a partner. He had no idea who to ask now.

"You want the regular?" Yanlei asked, sensing Mubo's mood.

"Yes, please," Mubo answered and moved to the side. If he didn't find someone soon he would have no choice but to work with Dong Yanlei. The horror.

"Yo, Fen-ge!" Yanlei suddenly said. Mubo looked up and saw that a new customer had arrived. And he realized that he recognized him as one of the rappers from the night before. The one he’d named Foolish Beauty. The guy was even prettier up close. Did he even have pores?

"Lei-zi," the new guy said with a nod. "Give me the usual."

"A cup of earl grey coming right up!"

"You don't seem like a tea person," Mubo blurted out. Foolish Beauty gave him a surprised look.

"Well, I used to drink coffee, but I can't really take it anymore," Foolish Beauty explained. "So, this is the closest I can come."

"He stopped sleeping," Yanlei piped in from the coffee machine.

"Shut up, Leilei," Foolish Beauty said. Then he gave Mubo a look over. "You're Han Mubo."

"You know who I am?" Mubo said, surprised. He hadn't expected to be recognized.

Foolish Beauty looked a bit embarrassed. "Yeah, I've seen you perform a couple of times. You're crazy good."

"Thank you," Mubo said, then he added, "You're Roi?"

The guy laughed. "Well, that's my stage name. I didn't think you would know who I am?"

"I don't really," Mubo confessed. "I saw you for the first time yesterday. My friends dragged me to the show."

"Did you like it?" Roi asked, sounding curious.

"I was different from what I had expected. I guess it was cool?"

Roi laughed again. "Wow, thanks for the praise, dude."

"I mean..." Mubo started, but the other interrupted him.

"No, it's okay. It's not your scene," he said and then he reached out a hand. "My real name is Qin Fen, majoring in music production with focus on rap."

"Nice to meet you. I'm Han Mubo, majoring in classical music, " Mubo said and shook his hand.

"Fen-ge, have you found a partner for your final project yet?" Yanlei suddenly asked. Mubo had forgotten that he was there. He usually didn't shut up for so long.

"No, not since Zhou Rui betrayed me for Zhou Yanchen," Qin Fen said, then he added, "No, I will not work with you, Lei-zi."

Mubo laughed. Yanlei looked between them.

"Why don't you two work together then?" he said and pointed at them.

Mubo and Qin Fen looked at each other.

"You don't have a partner?" Qin Fen said, surprised. "I was sure that someone as awesome as you would've had people lining up to work with you."

"Not exactly," Mubo said. Truth be told no one had approached him. (Zimo’s words echoed in his mind: "It's because you have this aura of you're better than everyone else.")

"Do you want to work with me?" Qin Fen asked, sounding a bit unsure. "I mean, I know that what I do is probably as far off from what you do, but it could be interesting?"

Mubo gave him a long look. It wasn't something he had considered, working with a rapper. But his professor had told him to reach out of his comfort zone and this was definitely way outside his comfort zone.

"Come on, it will be fun," Yanlei said encouragingly.

"I never thought I would take advice from you, Dong Yanlei," Mubo told him and then he turned to Qin Fen, who was looking very nervous. "I would like to work with you."

Qin Fen immediately relaxed. "Cool," he said and smiled.

"And here's your coffee and tea," Yanlei said and reached over to cups with a cheeky grin.

"Took you long enough," Mubo said and took his cup.

"I didn't want to interrupt your conversation," Yanlei grinned. "You'll thank me later."

"For what, cold tea?" Qin Fen said with a disgusted face after he tasted his tea.

"Oh, looks like it's time for my lunch," Yanlei suddenly said and hurriedly left.

"It's nine in the morning, you idiot!" Qin Fen called after him.

"Did he remember to take payment from you?" Mubo said, tossing the cold coffee in the trash.

Qin Fen thought for a second. "No, he did not," he said and shook his head. "That guy is seriously the worst."

"At least we didn't have to paid for cold drinks," Mubo said and shrugged.

"At least that's something," Qin Fen agreed. They both fell quiet, unsure what to say next.

"I have class, but I guess I'll talk to you later?" Mubo said.

"Yeah," Qin Fen nodded. "Maybe we should exchange numbers?"

"That's a good idea," Mubo agreed and gave Qin Fen his phone as he got the other ones’.

"Okay, talk to you later then," Mubo said and gave Qin Fen's phone back.

"Yes, talk to you later," Qin Fen nodded and left Mubo standing wondering what he’d gotten himself into.

Chapter Text

“How did you manage to pair up with Qin Fen of all people?” Zimo wondered when Mubo told them about who was going to be his partner later that night.

“Oh, then maybe he could introduce you to Cai Xukun – because they must know each other, right? – and then you could introduce me to Cai Xukun,” Zuo Ye said with a dreamy expression. He had decided to ignore the fact that Xukun most likely had a boyfriend. The others let him be. Whatever made him happy.

“We’re just going to work together,” Mubo said and resisted the urge to roll his eyes at Zuo Ye. “We’re not going to become new best friends and all that.”

“You could really need a best friend though,” Peiyao chimed in and Mubo kicked him under the table. “Ouch, rude.”

“I’m perfectly fine as it is,” Mubo said shortly. Sure, sometimes he kind of longed for the kind of friendship Peiyao and Zimo had, or even to be able to make friends as easily as Zuo Ye. But it was not like he didn’t have friends. He had quite a few, thank you very much.

Zimo and Peiyao exchanged a look and Mubo kicked them both. “Stop doing that.”

“Okay, but seriously, ge,” Zimo said and leaned forward. “How did you manage to pair up with Qin Fen?”

“Yeah, you didn’t even know who he was until yesterday,” Peiyao filled in.

“But he knew who I was,” Mubo said, still not over the fact that the other had recognized him.

“What? How?” Zuo Ye said, surprised.

“Apparently he’d seen some of the performances I’d participated in,” Mubo said with a light shrug.

“Weird,” Zuo Ye said and shook his head. He could seemingly not understand why a rapper would listen to classical music. “I mean, you’re really good, but it’s kinda…”

“Boring,” Zimo filled in. Peiyao just shook his head like ‘do you want to get yourself hit?’

“Okay, you’re right, I do need new friends,” Mubo said and glared at them.

“Okay, but so Qin Fen knew who you were, but where did you meet him? How did this partnership happen?” Peiyao asked as Zimo hid behind him to get away from Mubo.

“We met at the coffee shop. And weird as it may sound, I might have to thank Dong Yanlei for setting us up together?” Mubo explained, not completely willing to thank Yanlei just yet. This partnership could still end up terrible.

“It sounds like you’re going to date him when you say it like that,” Zimo said with a wink. Mubo kicked him again.

“You know what I mean.”

“Have you decided what your project is going to be?” Peiyao wondered, and Mubo sent him a thankful look for getting back on a more reasonable topic.

“Not yet,” Mubo said, and then added: “We haven’t talked since we decided to work together.”

“Why not?” Zuo Ye wondered. Mubo shrugged like he didn’t know.

Honestly, it was because he felt nervous every time he picked up his phone to text Qin Fen, unsure how to phrase the very simple question of ‘when should we meet up?’. He didn’t know what level he should put his text – should he go for strictly professional or should he try to be more friendly and casual? He didn’t know why this was so hard.

But then, on the other hand, Qin Fen hadn’t texted him either. Maybe he was already regretting pairing up with Mubo? How the hell were they going to incorporate classical music with rap?

Just then Mubo’s phone vibrated and he jumped. The trio gave him curious looks as he picked up his phone.

Speak of the devil.

Qin Fen (20.34)

Hi!! It’s qin fen. Sorry i didn’t text you earlier, i’ve had a crazy day, jeffrey got himself stuck… that’s not important tbh. When do you wanna meet up? Are you free tomorrow??

Qin Fen (20.35)

Btw i’m really excited to work with you! This is going to be amazing!!

Mubo couldn’t help but smile. All his doubt seemed to melt away. It seemed as if they were going for friendly and casual, and not professional.

“Is it from your future boyfriend?” Zimo teased. Mubo’s smile immediately became a frown.

“Please stop,” he said and Zimo pulled his legs up before Mubo could kick him again. “But yes, it’s from Qin Fen.”

Han Mubo (20.41)

Hi! Yes, tomorrow works fine. I get of class by 3pm. We could meet up in the library at 3.30pm?

Qin Fen (20.42)

Sound great! See you then!

Unsure if he was meant to answer that he just put down his phone. He was starting to feel nervous again. He had a few ideas on what they could do together, but he wasn’t sure if they would work. He realized that he’s knowledge of rap was painfully small. Especially after the performances yesterday he’d become aware of that rap as a genre was a lot wider and more varying that he’d thought.

“You guys need to help me,” he said and the trio looked at him like he suddenly grown another head. “I need to learn more about rap.”

The three matching mischievous smiles he got back made him immediately regret everything.

-

Qin Fen was late. Mubo had arrived early, too nervous to do anything else. He’d found them a table and sent Qin Fen a text with where he was. But now the time was 3.40 and Qin Fen was 10 minutes late. Which just gave Mubo even more time to get even more nervous. Qin Fen hadn’t even texted him to say that he was going to be late.

Mubo had stayed up way too late the night before to listen to different styles of rap and trying to get a feeling for the beats. He wanted to be as prepared as possible and not come off as uneducated. But it had also resulted in him being tired and a bit annoyed. His mind didn’t really handle lack of sleep that well.

“I’m sorry!” Qin Fen suddenly came running around the corner, two paper-cups in his hands. He stopped in front of the table and panted. “I wanted to get us coffee and Yanlei was being a dick, so that’s why I’m late. Sorry.” He put down one of the cups in front of Mubo.

“Oh,” Mubo said, a bit surprised. He had not expected to get coffee. “Thank you.”

“I hope Yanlei got your order right, he assured me that he knew your regular order by heart,” Qin Fen said and sat down on the opposite side of the table.

Mubo nodded and took a careful sip from the cup. It was not coffee. It was tea. Across the table Qin Fen made a face as he sipped from his cup.

“I think you gave me the wrong cup?” Mubo said and laughed lightly at Qin Fen’s face.

“Yeah, sorry,” Qin Fen said and put his cup down. “I can go and get you a new one.”

“No, it’s okay, I don’t mind,” Mubo assured and reached over and swished the cups. “If you don’t mind?”

“No no, it’s totally fine,” Qin Fen said quickly and took a big sip from his tea. And winced as burned his tongue. Mubo hid his smile behind his hand, not wanting to come off as rude.

“So…” Mubo said after Qin Fen had gulped down half his water-bottle to sooth his burn. “Do you have any ideas for our project?”

“Yeah! I have some ideas. Here,” Qin Fen said excitedly and opened his notebook. “We should probably do some kind of performance, right?”

Mubo nodded. He’d come to the same conclusion. They were both musicians after all. “I agree.”

“Great! So, I thought that obviously, we should try to mix our different strengths. Maybe we could try to write a new song together? Do you compose?”

“I do,” Mubo said and opened his own notebook. He’d actually started to write down some ideas for beats the night before. “I was thinking about something similar as you. A new song that’s incorporates both classical music and rap.”

“Great minds think alike,” Qin Fen said with a wink. Mubo had to turn away and hope that he didn’t blush. The sheer attractiveness of Qin Fen was kind of messing with his head.

“Yeah,” he said with a cough. “Then we decided to compose and perform a new song as our final project.”

“Yes!” Qin Fen smiled widely.

“Are you always this excited?” Mubo couldn’t help but ask. The others energy reminded him of Zimo and he almost shuddered at the thought of introducing them to each other.

Qin Fen laughed nervously and scratched his neck. “Yes? No? I don’t know. I just know that I think this is going to be fun and I think we can come up with something great.”

“Or rubbish,” Mubo said, “I’m not completely convinced that you can mix classical music and rap.”

“Are you always this pessimistic?” Qin Fen shoot back and leaned forward on his elbows.

“I like to think that I’m a realist.”

“Boring.”

Mubo gave him an unimpressed look and Qin Fen laughed. Mubo tried to hold on to his frown but he could feel a smile tug at his lips. Qin Fen’s mood was contagious.

“Okay, but what should our next step be, Mr. Realist?” Qin Fen ginned.

“Maybe we should both try to come up with some ideas for the song, like beat, melody, and lyrics I guess?” Mubo had never worked with lyrics since he always played the cello.

“Do you sing?” Qin Fen asked as he wrote down what Mubo just said.

“I guess I can sing, but I seldom do it,” Mubo answered with a shrug. Zhangjing and Junyi had made him sing with them a few times but he preferred to play his cello. Qin Fen nodded and wrote down something more.

“Okay. So, we’ll both work on some ideas and then meet up again?” Qin Fen asked and look up at Mubo for confirmation.

“Sounds good,” Mubo nodded. They fell silent, unsure what to say next.

“So…” Qin Fen said and Mubo winced at the awkwardness. This was the main reason he’d dreaded working with a student from another program, or more precisely, a stranger. “Maybe we should get going with that then?”

“Yes,” Mubo said quickly, throwing down his notebook in his back. He stood up. “Um, thanks for the coffee. I’ll talk to you later?”

“Yes!” Qin Fen smiled. “Talk to you later!”

Mubo nodded one last time before he more or less power-walked out of the library to get away from the awkwardness. Real smooth. He could already hear Zimo’s teasing voice in his head.

-

Once again it was Qin Fen who texted him first that night.

Qin Fen (21.07)

Hi!! Thanks for today! When do you think you want to meet up again? Im kinda busy for the rest of the week, so maybe we can meet up next week? :))

Han Mubo (21.11)

Me too, so next week sounds good. Does Monday work for you?

Qin Fen (21.12)

Monday works perfectly!! Meet you in the library at 4pm? ^^

Han Mubo (21.14)

Sounds good. See you then

:)

He added the smiley and hit send before he could change his mind. Then he cringed at himself. How was it possible to be awkward even in text?

“What are you cringing about?” Peiyao asked.

“I don’t know who to text like a normal person,” Mubo complained and Peiyao gave him a long look.

“Is this about Qin Fen?” the younger asked knowingly. “Because there’s nothing wrong when you text us, even though it might be a bit too… correct.”

“Just because Zimo and Zuo Ye communicate solely through gifs doesn’t mean it’s anything wrong with writing properly so people understand what you mean.”

“Exactly. And since I suspect that you write the same way to Qin Fen, at least he will be able to understand what you mean,” Peiyao said reasonably.

“But what if he thinks I’m boring?”

“Why do you care?” Peiyao shot back. “So what if he thinks you’re boring? You’re just doing a project with him.”

“But…”

“If you don’t want to be more than study buddies with him?” Peiyao said with a wink.

“Please never wink again,” Mubo said with a shudder. “And no, don’t be stupid. I just don’t want people to think I’m boring.”

“Or you just except your nature and run with it.”

“Are you calling me boring?”

“I wouldn’t dare.”

Mubo gave him a suspicious look. He never really had a problem with what people thought of him, not as a person. All he’d ever cared about was what people thought about his music and his level of skill on the cello. But now he suddenly got anxious over the thought of what Qin Fen might think of him. And he couldn’t understand why.

Maybe it was because Qin Fen was so excited about working with him that he didn’t want to let him down. Maybe it was because they were so widely different to begin with. Maybe it was because Mubo had grown up hearing about how people thought classical music was boring, and people doing it was boring, and he didn’t want to live up to those prejudices.

Maybe it was because so far Qin Fen had been nothing but excited, kind and funny, and Mubo just felt like an awkward blob beside him.

-

But as is turned out, Mubo hadn’t much to worry about. Qin Fen didn’t seem to mind that his answers were a bit stiff or that he sometimes felt awkward. The other just continued to be his excited self and nothing Mubo said or did seem to get him down.

The first few weeks of their project proceeded without much problem and Mubo started to learn a thing or two about Qin Fen. Like that he always was a bit late regardless of the time of the day. And that he was maybe a bit dramatic.

Mubo even got to see how Qin Fen lived. It was about three weeks into their project when they one afternoon got thrown out of the library because Qin Fen couldn’t stop laughing. It was over something Mubo had said, but he couldn’t remember saying anything funny.

“I’m sorry,” Qin Fen said when they’re where outside the library, a smile still tugging at his lips. “We can go over to my place to continue. If you want to?”

Mubo stopped. Had they really reached that level of familiarity? He wasn’t sure. But he had to admit that he was a little bit curious about how Qin Fen’s home looked like. Honestly, almost everything about Qin Fen made him curious for some reason.

“Um, sure,” he answered and Qin Fen shone up.

“Great!”

Turned out that Qin Fen didn’t live that far away from him. That was convenient. Not that he planned to come over to Qin Fen’s place many times. It was just… convenient. You know.

“I think Jeffrey might be home, but he spends most of his time in his room doing gods know what anyhow, so he won’t disturb us,” Qin Fen said as he led Mubo up the stairs.

“Who’s Jeffrey?” Mubo asked. He couldn’t remember Qin Fen mentioning a roommate. Or maybe it was a partner? Somehow that thought made something squirm inside him, but he quickly suppressed it.

“Oh. Just my roommate,” Qin Fen answered with a smile over his shoulder. “His real name is Dong Youlin, but for some reason – I didn’t care enough to ask why – he decided to start to introduce himself as Jeffrey. I think he thinks it’s cool.”

“Oh, okay,” was all Mubo answered, unsure what else to say.

“I guess it could’ve been cool if the guy hadn’t spent most of his time in his room eating eggs when he isn’t at the gym.”

That statement made Mubo even more confused. Who was this Jeffrey guy even?

Mubo soon found out – after Qin Fen had managed to chase Jeffrey out of his room to introduce himself to Mubo (who Qin Fen had introduced as ‘my new partner in crime’. That had made Mubo’s ears turn red) – that Jeffrey was nothing like he’d imagined.

First of all, he was shorter than both Mubo and Qin Fen, and even though he was obviously fit he wasn’t the egg-eating monster that Mubo had imagined. And he had a baby face, with soft lines and gentle eyes. He looked a bit like a deer caught in headlights.

Second of all, he seemed to be really shy because he almost immediately escaped back to his room after he’d introduced himself with an awkwardly stiff: “Jeffrey,” and Qin Fen let go of his arm.

“Yeah, he’s a bit weird,” Qin Fen said with a shrug when he saw Mubo’s confused look after Jeffrey had disappeared again. “But he’s a nice kid when you get past the shyness and the constant smell of eggs.”

Mubo shook his head lightly. “He seems nice. Not as wild as my roommates,” he added a little bit jealous.

“Oh?” Qin Fen said curiously and led Mubo over to the kitchen table. “You want tea?”

“Yes. Thank you,” Mubo said with a nod and sat down. “I live with three guys and they’re a handful.”

“You sound like a tired mum,” Qin Fen commented as he started to boil water and take out cups.

“I feel like one,” Mubo sighed. “If I can just get one day without screaming, pranks and Cai Xukun I will be grateful.”

“You know Xukun?” Qin Fen said, a bit surprised.

“No, not at all. But my youngest is obsessed with him and will literally not shut up about him. You don’t want to know who many times he’s pestered me about asking you if you could introduce me to Xukun, so I then can introduce him to Xukun. Because he convinced that you, of course, need to know each other since you both rap.”

“Well, I do know Xukun, so I could introduce you if you want? I’m sure Xukun will be happy to meet a fan,” Qin Fen said, and grinned when he saw Mubo’s horrified face.

“Please no. It’s bad as it is now.”

Qin Fen laughed. “If you say so.”

“Maybe…” Mubo said thoughtfully, as he got an idea. “Zuo Ye’s birthday is later this spring, if I let him meet Cai Xukun as a birthday gift, then he’ll probably love me forever and I can always use that against him.”

“That’s… not the right reason to give someone a present,” Qin Fen commented as he put down two cups of tea on the table.

“You would do the same if you lived with those little devils. You’ll have to do everything to get the upper hand.”

Qin Fen just smiled and shook his head, and Mubo suddenly felt a bit embarrassed. He quickly took up the cup of tea so he had a reason to not look at the other. Maybe he thought that Mubo was a terrible friend now? And a terrible person?

“I think it’s sweet of you, letting him meet his idol. Even if you want to post it as doing it to get the upper hand,” Qin Fen said and poked Mubo with his foot under the table so Mubo looked up. He was met with a sincere smile that made his heart skip a beat.

“Thanks.”

“Um, sorry to interrupt, but Fen-ge, could you help me with a thing?” Jeffrey suddenly asked, poking his head out from his room.

“What have you done now?” Qin Fen sighed as he stood up.

“Nothing! I just…” Jeffrey did a vague gesture and Qin Fen rolled his eyes.

“I’ll be right back,” he said to Mubo before he went over to Jeffrey who gave him a thankful smile.

After Qin Fen came back – saying something about Jeffrey being the biggest dork of all time – they got back to work, and Mubo had a surprisingly good evening. Qin Fen even made him dinner (“It’s just basic ramen, sorry, I have literally nothing else home. I even had to steal some eggs from Jeffrey.”). When he got back home it was late. They had abandoned their work after a while and just hanged out and suddenly the clock had been close to midnight and Mubo had no idea how that had happened.

“Where have you been?” Zuo Ye yelled as soon as he stepped inside the apartment.

“At Qin Fen’s?” Mubo said slowly, unsure why Zuo Ye was yelling at him.

“Why isn’t your phone on?” Zimo asked as he attached himself to Mubo’s arm. “We were worried that you’d been kidnapped.”

“Why would I be kidnapped?”

“Because it’s almost midnight and you haven’t been home since you left for class this morning? You’re usually asleep by now,” Peiyao chimed in from the sofa. He didn’t seem all that worried. “And your phone is off, so we couldn’t reach you.”

“Oh, it must have died,” Mubo said and looked at is three didis. “Were you guys really worried about me?”

“Yes, of course!” Zimo exclaimed and shook Mubo.

“Zuo Ye even cried,” Peiyao added. Zuo Ye just gave Mubo his saddest puppy eyes.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to worry you,” Mubo said and patted Zimo on the head. “Come here, Ye-di.” He pulled Zuo Ye in for a hug.

“Yaoyao, come quick, Bo-ge is hugging us,” Zimo said excitingly and pulled Peiyao in when he didn’t move quickly enough for him.

“But seriously, you always nag us about telling you where we are, you could do us the same favour,” Peiyao said and Mubo for once felt like the kid being scolded by his mum.

“Yes, of course, I’m sorry.”

“So, you were at Qin Fen’s, huh?” Zimo said and wiggled his eyebrows. “Forgot about the time, huh?”

And with that, the peace was over as Mubo chased Zimo through the apartment.

When he laid in bed later – after Zimo had locked himself in his and Peiyao’s bedroom and left Peiyao begging outside the door to let him in, promising that Mubo had gone to bed – he felt a bit giddy when he thought about the day. He’d spent most of it with Qin Fen and at some point, he’d stopped feeling awkward. Qin Fen seemed to have the ability to make him at ease and forget that they didn’t really know each other. But maybe that was about to change, maybe they were becoming friends. Mubo found that he would like that.

But, of course, the universe didn’t plan to make things easy for Mubo, because just a few days later, Qin Fen stopped answering his text.

Chapter Text

Han Mubo (19.08)

Hi. When do you want to meet up next time? I'm free on Wednesday and Thursday

Han Mubo (21.34)

I kind of need to know so I can plan my week

Han Mubo (23.45)

Qin Fen?

Han Mubo (07.13)

Seriously, why aren't you answering?

Mubo glared at his phone. Qin Fen still hadn't answered, and he didn't know if he was more angry or worried. The other always answered almost straight away and now it had been a little more than 24 hours since he first texted. He had even tried to call when he got off class, but it had gone straight to voicemail. He hadn't bothered to leave a message. There was probably a reasonable explanation for his absence.

-

Two more days went by without a word from Qin Fen and Mubo was slowly losing it.

"There's probably a reasonable explanation for this," Peiyao said and put down a cup of tea in front of Mubo's moping form on the sofa.

"Yes, I know that," Mubo pouted. He never pouted, but here Qin Fen comes and leaves him a pouting mess. "I just wish that he'd told me before he disappeared that he would be out of town or whatever he's up to."

"Yeah, I agree," Peiyao said and forced the teacup into Mubo's hands when he did no effort to take it himself.

"Maybe he's regretting pairing up whit me and is ghosting me now?" Mubo sulked and took a sip of his tea. Thank god for Peiyao and his ability to make his tea just the way he wanted it.

"I doubt it," Peiyao said firmly. "If he is, he's a fool."

"Well, he kinda is," Mubo said with a small, sad smile. Qin Fen was a fool, but he'd come to enjoy his company over the last couple weeks.

"Please stop moping," Peiyao begged. "You know that you have scared off Zimo and Zuo Ye?"

"I have?"

"Yes. That's why they aren't here. Zuo Ye is sleeping at some friend's place, afraid to get on your bad side now that you're like this. Zimo is coming home later, but only because I promised him that I would protect him from you in case you got mad at him." Peiyao shook his head like he couldn't believe that his friends were like this.

Mubo stared disbelievingly at him. "They are afraid of me?" He suddenly felt bad. He didn't want his friends to be afraid of him.

Peiyao nodded. "I've told them that it's stupid, but I think they also wanted to give you some space."

"That's nice of them, but it's still stupid," Mubo said firmly and took up his phone. Peiyao nodded like ‘tell me about it'.

Bo-ge (21.16)

Guys, Peiyao told me about you avoiding the apartment for my sake. Please come home, I promise not to take anything out on you

Momo (21.17)

Yao, you traitor >:(

Yao (21.17)

You guys left me to care for him myself, so low, come back and take responsibility

Bo-ge (21.19)

I don't need anyone to take care of me

Yao (21.19)

Tell that to the teacup you're currently cradling in your arms

Mubo glared up at Peiyao who just grinned from the other side of the sofa.

Baby Ye (21.20)

Im sorry, bo-ge!! I didn't want to be a bother :(

Bo-ge (21.21)

You never are, I promise

Momo (21.21) 

Naw, you do love us!!! <3

Bo-ge (21.22)

I love Ye-di, I never said anything about you

Momo (21.22)

 : (((((( so mean, why do you guys hate me??

Yao (21.23)

 Just come home, you dumbass

Bo-ge (21.23)

That's Peiyao telling you he loves you

Momo (21.23)

Naaw, yaoyao, i love you too <33

Now it was Mubo's turn to grin at a blushing Peiyao. The other tried to look unbothered, but his ears were red and he met Mubo's eyes defiantly.

"Ah, young love," Mubo sighed with a smug smile.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Peiyao said and turned back to his phone and started typing something.

Yao (21.25)

You know what, where are you? I'll come to you instead, mubo doesn't deserve our care

Bo-ge (21.26)

I'll make you all dinner tomorrow to apologize for my behavior the last couple of days if you come home now

Baby Ye (21.26)

Youre the best!! I'll be home later, im just gonna beat xikan in mario kart a couple of more times

Baby Ye (21.27)

As if, he's losing big time //xikan

Momo (21.27)

Ill be home soon! Yao, make me some tea

Peiyao sighed but got up and moved over to the kitchen to boil more water for tea. Their phones vibrated again.

Momo (21.28)

Bo-ge, have you heard anything from qin fen yet?

Bo-ge (21.30)

No

Momo (21.30)

… i'm sorry

Mubo put down his phone and sighed. He was really worried for Qin Fen. Not only didn't he answer his text, but according to Yanlei – yes, he'd gone to Yanlei to ask about Qin Fen, don't judge him – nobody had seen the rapper on campus either. Mubo had decided to go over to Qin Fen's apartment and ask – demand – an answer if he didn't hear something in the next couple of days. And if Qin Fen wasn't there, he'd just had to pester Jeffrey do give him an answer. Maybe he could bribe him with eggs?

Mubo had tried to tell himself that he was only worried because of their project. He couldn't do it all by himself and his professor would skin him if he failed now. But a small part of his brain was worried just because it was Qin Fen…

He wouldn't call them close. Nevertheless, that didn't stop his stupid heart from caring and worrying. But at the same time, he was mad at Qin Fen for putting him through this. He hated group projects. If he could've just done this project by himself, he wouldn't be in this situation now.

Damn Qin Fen and his stupid ability to draw Mubo in and make him miss his company after just such a short while.

-

Another day went by without a word from Qin Fen and Peiyao, Zimo, and Zuo Ye walked on glass around him, afraid he might snap at any moment. Mubo felt like he might as well. He'd tried to work on their song, but he'd gotten stuck on the stupid beat. Damn that rapper and his need for a stupid beat.

So instead he'd immersed himself in his cello until Zimo came and practically begged him to stop playing "sad cello" because he was trying to have a good time and Mubo just ruined the mood.   

He was currently cooking for the three idiots since he'd promised them that yesterday when someone knocked on their door. He looked over at the three didi's who looked as surprised as he felt.

"Are you guys expecting someone?" he asked, and they shook their heads. Peiyao got up from the sofa to answer the door.

Mubo could hear the door open and some muffled words before Peiyao said: "It's for you Bo-ge."

"What? Who is it?" Mubo said as he went over to the door. And stopped dead when he saw Qin Fen standing there with a sheepish smile. Peiyao slowly backed away.

"'Bo-ge', huh?" Qin Fen said with a try to act like he hadn't been missing for the last couple of days. Mubo frowned. He suddenly felt inexplicable angry.

Qin Fen must have picked up on Mubo's mood because he bent down his head. "I'm sorry."

"What the hell?" Mubo said, unwilling to hear Qin Fen's apology. "Where the hell have you been?"   

"I, um… had an accident," Qin Fen said and vaguely gestured with the crutches that Mubo initially hadn't noticed, too focused on the other's face.

"You had an accident?" Mubo repeated coldly and crossed his arms.

"Yeah. I have an old knee injury, and at dance practice a couple of days ago I managed to twist my bad knee badly. I kind of blacked out of pain and when I came to it, I was in Zhengting's car and they were rushing me to the hospital," Qin Fen explained and rubbed his neck, unable to meet Mubo's cold stare. "I had to have surgery to fix the knee – as well as they could at least. I'm not dancing again for a while."

"And what stopped you from answering your phone for four days?"

"Um… my phone died…"

"Your phone died?" Mubo said disbelievingly. Qin Fen nodded. "What a bunch of bullshit."

Qin Fen looked up with big eyes, apparently hurt by Mubo's words. "It's the truth."

"And you couldn't get anyone to get you your charger? Or ask someone to tell me that you would be out of it for a couple of days? I was worried. But it seems like I shouldn't have cared since you apparently didn't care enough to let me know that you'd been hurt," Mubo said harshly. And then he slammed the door shut in Qin Fen's face.

Mubo took some deep breaths before he marched back to the kitchen, ignoring the others questioning looks. He could hear someone opening the door and running out in the hall.

"Qin Fen-ge, wait!" he heard Peiyao yell.

"What the fuck?" Mubo said and turned around to stop Peiyao, but he found Zimo and Zuo Ye blocking his way.

"It's for your own good," Zimo told him. Mubo glared at them.

"I invited Qin Fen-ge to dinner," Peiyao announced as he came back, Qin Fen jumping awkwardly behind him on his crutches. Qin Fen tried to give Mubo a smile, but he turned his back on him.

"No."

"Come on, Bo-ge," Zimo said pleadingly.

"No."

"Maybe I should go…?" Qin Fen said carefully.

"Nope," Peiyao said and grabbed the elder's arm. "We have plenty of food. Bo-ge is cooking."

"I don't wanna be a bother," Qin Fen said.

"You are," Mubo said harshly, at the same time as Zimo said:

"You're not."

"Okay…" Qin Fen said slowly, "I'll just go? I'll text you later?"

"I'm sorry, but you're not going anywhere," Peiyao said firmly. "Zuo Ye, go help Bo-ge set the table."

"O-okay," Zuo Ye said, surprised to be given a task. "Come, Bo-ge…"

Mubo let Zuo Ye lead him back to the kitchen, away from Qin Fen and the sad looks he could physically feel the rapper sending to his back. He could hear Peiyao talking, but he couldn't make out the words. He decided to focus on finish the food and shut Qin Fen out of his mind for now.

Or so he thought. Ten minutes later he found himself seated opposite of Qin Fen at the dinner table. Mubo ignored the looks Qin Fen tried to give him and glared at the three didis. Zuo Ye had his head bent down and stared firmly at his food as he ate, refusing to look at anyone else. Zimo tried to act normal, but he was slightly fidgeting, casting glances between Mubo, Qin Fen, and Peiyao, the latter acting like everything was perfectly fine.

"So, Qin Fen-ge, what happened to you?" Peiyao asked casually when no one else made any attempt to start a conversation. 

Qin Fen jumped slightly when he was spoken to. "Um, I managed to twist my leg during dance practice and had to have surgery. Again."

"You dance?" Zimo asked, curiously.

"I do," Qin Fen smiled, seemingly a little more at ease with that subject. "Not as a part of my curriculum, I just take a night class for fun. Even if it's a rather ambitious night class since it's led by Lin Chaoze."

"The Lin Chaoze?" Zimo said with awe. "The Little Superhero?"

"The one and only."

"Wow."

"Ye-di, didn't you have a class with him?" Zimo asked Zuo Ye who choked on his food. Qin Fen slapped him on the back as the younger coughed.

"You okay?" Qin Fen asked and helped Zuo Ye pour up more water. Zuo Ye only managed to nod, tears in his eyes, seemingly a little bit starstruck by Qin Fen. Mubo resisted the urge to roll his eyes. 

"Y-yes," Zuo Ye finally manage to croak.

"That's nice," Qin Fen smiled. "He's a good guy. At least when he's not running practice, then his downright scary. You don't wanna have him catch you slacking off."

"Speaking from experience?" Mubo sneered. Qin Fen's smile faltered.

"Be nice," Zimo chided and patted Mubo on the shoulder. Mubo shrugged his hand off. He had no intentions of being nice, not when they all had forced him into this situation.

"It's okay," Qin Fen said, his smile back. "I had been slacking off and Chaoze almost skinned me." He laughed and Mubo glared at him.

"Don't give the kids any ideas by taking slacking off lightly."

"Hey, we're not kids!" Zimo said, offended.

"Sorry," Qin Fen said quickly. "I didn't mean it like that."

"Maybe you should start to think some more, it would be good for everybody," Mubo shot back, his anger bubbling up again. Qin Fen looked at him with big eyes, clearly stunned by Mubo's hostility.

"Thank you for the food, Bo-ge," Peiyao said loudly and abruptly stood up. "We're going for a walk. Come on." He poked Zuo Ye, who quickly got up and bowed.

"Thank you for the food, it was delicious, ge." Then he almost ran from the table.

"But I haven't finish…" Zimo stared but Peiyao pulled him up.

"Yes, you have. Let's go."

"What… wait…" Zimo tried to say as Peiyao dragged him away.

"It was nice meeting you, Qin Fen-ge!" Peiyao called from the hallway before the door slammed shut.

"Um, you too?" Qin Fen said uncertainly after them.

Mubo stood up and turned his back on the other. What the hell were they thinking? He was going to kill Jing Peiyao. As if he was going to forgive Qin Fen just like that. Damn them for trying to meddle.

"I really am sorry," Qin Fen said quietly. Mubo sighed and slowly turned around again. Qin Fen had put down his chopsticks and was staring down at his plate.

"You were gone for four days. Four days. And I had no idea what had happened," Mubo said and crossed his arms. "For all I knew you could have been dead. Or maybe you had just regretted pairing up with me…" He added the last part quietly, not completely sure why he confessed to that. Qin Fen's eyes snapped up at him.

"What? No!" he said firmly. "Never. I still can't quite believe that you wanted to work with me to begin with. Since you so amazing, and I'm just… me. But I understand if you wanna change partner now…"

Mubo studied Qin Fen, who seemed to deflate again. It seemed like the rapper carried some of the same insecurities as he did.

"No, I don't want to change," he said finally and sat down again. Qin Fen looked up with a relieved look. "Mostly because everyone else already has a partner and then I would have to work with Dong Yanlei," he added, and Qin Fen actually smiled.

"I sure hope that I'm at least better then Yanlei," he said. Mubo crooked his head.

"I'm not sure yet. Give me some more time to make up my mind."

Qin Fen looked a bit shocked before he smiled again. "I'll do my best to prove myself better than Yanlei."

"I haven't completely forgiven you yet," Mubo said after a while of silence.

"I'm sorry," Qin Fen said immediately. "I'm rubbish at letting people know if something has happened to me because I don't want them to worry…"

"So instead you make them worry more by going completely missing for a couple of days?"

"Yeah, I'm not the smartest."

"You don't say." Mubo rolled his eyes.

Qin Fen studied him for a while. "Were you really worried?" he asked finally.

"Well, um, yes," Mubo answered awkwardly, praying to all the gods that he didn't blush. "I mean… I like to think that we have become friends these last couple of weeks? And I guess that friends worry?"

The smile Qin Fen gave him was so wide that Mubo thought that it must hurt his cheeks.

"Yes! We are definitely friends. I also think of you as a friend," Qin Fen agreed, seeming relieved.

"Yeah, friends," Mubo echoed after a few seconds, unsure why he felt so wrong suddenly.

"So, we're good now?" Qin Fen asked, sounding a bit uncertain again. Mubo nodded.

"Yes, we're good. But never do something like that again or I will hunt you down."

"Noted." Qin Fen nodded quickly. "And I promise to make it up to you."

When the three idiots came back Qin Fen had left. They'd talked for a while about their project, with Qin Fen promising that he would make it up to Mubo for lost time, and then decided to call it a night. Qin Fen confessed that he'd gone against the doctor's recommendations of how much he should move around just so he could come over and apologize to Mubo in person. Mubo chided him for that but he was still a bit touched.

"Um, where's Qin Fen?" Zimo asked gingerly when they came back and found Mubo alone, doing the dishes.

"Oh my god, did you kill him?" Zuo Ye exclaimed and looked around as if he could find clues if a crime had been committed.

"What? No, of course not, don't be stupid," Mubo said and rolled his eyes. Seriously, where did Zuo Ye get everything from?

"So, how did it go?" Peiyao asked nonchalantly, but his curious eyes betrayed him.

"Wouldn't you like to know?" Mubo retorted, not feeling merciful. This was payback for meddling.

"Come on, Bo-ge, tell us," Zimo begged.

"Nope."

"You're the worst." Zimo pouted. Mubo just winked before turning back to the dishes.

"Well, you seem happier, so I'm gonna assume that it went well and that you're friends, or whatever you are, again," Peiyao said and patted Mubo on the shoulder. "No need to thank me."

"Like hell I'm going to thank you, you meddling punk," Mubo shot back. Peiyao just grinned.

"One day you will, just you wait."

Mubo rolled his eyes. He was kind of thankful for Peiyao and his rather forceful way of making him sort things out with Qin Fen, otherwise, he'd probably just gone around forever being petty and passive aggressive about it, but he was not going to let the younger know that. He still had some pride. At least he and Qin Fen could continue with their project now, hopefully without any more bumps.

Chapter Text

They had decided to work on their strengths and then put together what they'd come up with. Meaning that Mubo was in charge of melody and composition and Qin Fen of beat and lyrics. January had made way for February, and February had been over in a flash, and now they were at the beginning of March, about a month and a half into their project.

When Qin Fen had told Mubo that he would make it up to him for disappearing, he'd meant it. For starters, he always brought Mubo coffee for their study sessions – and he'd had promptly refused when Mubo had tried to return the favor – and he'd even cooked for him once – that had turned out… interesting (they had decided to never talk about it again. But it had involved a fire, Jeffrey's pink egg-cooker and a lot of screaming (mostly Jeffrey's)).

They were currently in one of the studios that the producer students had access to, Qin Fen showing him the beats he'd come up with.

"What do you think?" Qin Fen asked and turned around, so he could face Mubo who was seated on an extra chair behind him.

"It was slower than I expected," Mubo confessed. He'd liked it, but it was different than he'd imagined.

"… is that good or bad?" The rapper always seemed a bit anxious over Mubo's opinions, which made Mubo wonder if he'd sometimes come off as rude or something.

"I like it," Mubo reassured him with a smile. Qin Fen breathed out and gave Mubo one of his excited smiles. Lately, that smile had made Mubo's heart feel slightly weird.

"Good," Qin Fen nodded and turned back to the computer. All the buttons and options on the screen made Mubo wonder how anyone could make sense of it, but Qin Fen maneuvered the program without a hitch. It was really impressive.

"I'm not completely satisfied, but I think it's a good start," Qin Fen continued. "I'm glad that you think the same."

Mubo hummed in agreement. He was glad that he'd come to work with Qin Fen. It had been interesting so far, and a great learning experience. He had fun as well, he hadn't expected that when his professor had dropped that he needed to work with another student.

Qin Fen was… kind of great. Mubo stopped himself before he could continue that train of thought. It was dangerous to go there, and he couldn't afford to develop the feelings that had started to rise lately.

"I'm thinking about going over to the dance practice and say hello to the guys. I haven't met them since the accident. Do you wanna come?" Qin Fen asked and brought Mubo out of his thoughts. "If you don't feel we should do more work on our project?"

"Um, yeah, sure," Mubo said, surprised by the sudden invitation. "I mean, yes, I would like to come."

"Great!"

Qin Fen led him over to the building where the dance studios were. Even though it was after all the classes had ended, most of the studios were still occupied.

"Here we are," Qin Fen smiled and opened the door to one of the practice rooms. Inside there were six guys busy stretching and warming up.

"Qin Fen!" one of them exclaimed when he saw Qin Fen standing in the door. He was tall and slim and moved with a grace that Mubo knew that he could never accomplish when he came over to Qin Fen and pulled him into a hug.

"How's your knee?"

"It's okay," Qin Fen smiled. "I still have to use the crutches, but not for very much longer now."

"So, I guess we can't count on you back anytime soon then?" A shorter guy showed up behind the one that still had his arms around Qin Fen (Mubo wished that he would let go, or that at least Qin Fen wouldn't look so content).

"No, sorry, Chaoze," Qin Fen said and bowed his head. "I might have busted it for good now."

"Sorry to hear that, bro." This guy Mubo actually recognized. It was the guy that had performed with Cai Xukun, but he couldn't recall his name.

"Yeah, me too," Qin Fen agree. "I'm sorry to let you guys down."

"Don't think about it."

"Yeah, we don't need your old knees to slow us down." The pair that had spoken had to be twins, with a matching set of grins.

"Be nice," the last guy chided before he gave Qin Fen a big smile. "It's good to see you. Who's your friend?"

Six pairs of eyes suddenly fell on Mubo. He tried to smile, but it felt like it turned out as a grimace.

"Oh, you must be Han Mubo!" the slim guy said and peeled himself off Qin Fen and reached out his hand to Mubo. "Qin Fen has told us about you. Nice to meet you, I'm Zhu Zhengting."

Mubo shook Zhengting's hand. "Yeah, I'm Han Mubo. Nice to meet you too."

"So, this is the famous Han Mubo?" the guy with the big smile said, with a glint in his eyes.

"Famous?" Mubo echoed with a look at Qin Fen. The rapper seemed a bit embarrassed.

"Shut up, Zeren."

Zeren just laughed. "I'm Ding Zeren, nice to finally meet you." He shook Mubo's hand.

"The two idiots are Zhu Yuntian and Zhu Yunyi," Qin Fen presented and pointed at the twins. "This is out excellent leader Lin Chaoze," he pointed at Chaoze who smiled, "and this is Wang Ziyi." Ziyi nodded with a small smile.

"Nice to meet you all," Mubo said with a slight bow.

"So, what are you doing here if you can't dance?" Chaoze asked.

"I wanted to say hello and maybe watch for a bit. If it's okay that Mubo stays as well? I wanted him to see what I use – at least used – to do on my spare time," Qin Fen said. Mubo was a bit surprised – and happy – that Qin Fen wanted to share this part of himself with him.

"I don't see why not," Chaoze said with a shrug. "Make yourself at home."

"Thank you," Mubo said with a small bow of his head.

"No need to thank us," Zhengting smiled and squeezed Qin Fen's shoulder before they all moved to the middle of the room.

Qin Fen gestured to Mubo to sit down on the floor, their backs against the mirror. Mubo wondered how close it was okay to sit. Because after seeing Qin Fen with Zhengting he had a feeling of wanting to show the slim guy that Qin Fen belonged to him. Which was totally irrational and crazy.

Qin Fen solved his problem for him by sitting so close their shoulders were touching.

"Thank you for accompanying me," Qin Fen whispered and nudged Mubo's shoulder.

"Why are you thanking me? Shouldn't I be the one thanking you for letting me come?" Mubo said back, cheeks slightly blushing.

"Hey, lovebirds, we're starting now!" Yuntian called and made Qin Fen and Mubo jump. Mubo didn't dare to look at Qin Fen, feeling his cheeks burn.

"Shut up and just start," Qin Fen shot back, but at least he didn't move away, which Mubo was thankful for. That would have made things even more awkward. He didn't look at Qin Fen, but the other guys were grinning at them.

Thankfully Chaoze started the music then and Mubo could focus on their dance. Which was really impressive. On the second run through Qin Fen gave a little commentary, pointing out what his old position was, funny bits of fact about when they started to learn the choreography (like how the twins had run headfirst into each other one time because they both turned the wrong way) and telling about the groups strongpoints.

After the third run through Chaoze asked Qin Fen for input. Mubo was quietly watching him. He was much more serious than usual, it was interesting to see.

"I'm guessing that you have never seen him this serious, judging by your face," Zeren grinned to Mubo.

"Hey, I'm always serious," Qin Fen protested.

"Not really," Mubo deadpanned, which made the other guys laugh.

"I thought you were my friend," Qin Fen pouted and turned around, so he was facing Mubo. The pout made Mubo's heart skip a beat. Too cute.

"That's why I'm being honest with you," Mubo managed to say without embarrassing himself.

"But what if I can't handle the truth?" Qin Fen continued and leaned forward, resting a hand on Mubo's knee.

"Too bad."

Qin Fen looked at Mubo with big puppy eyes, lips pouting cutely. It was almost killing Mubo. He was so close as well, the hand on his knee was burning hot.

"That pout is deadly," Zhengting said and shook his head.

"It's gross," Yunyi said, "You are a grown man." 

"You guys are the worst," Qin Fen said and broke character. He leaned back again and gave Mubo some room to breathe. But he didn't remove the hand from his knee. "But we should get going anyway. I promised Jeffrey I'd buy him dinner as an apology for breaking his egg-cooker."

"You set it on fire," Mubo deadpanned. "Dinner is the least you could give him."

"You set Jeffrey's egg-cooker on fire?" Chaoze said disbelievingly. The twins almost fell over laughing together with Zeren. Zhengting looked like he didn't know if he should laugh or shake his head. 

"Dude, how?" Ziyi asked. They all seemed to be acquainted with Jeffrey and his pink egg-cooker. 

Qin Fen looked at Mubo as he had betrayed him. "You don't wanna know."

"Nope, definitely not," Chaoze agreed. "And we need to get back to practice, so either you stay and shut up or you leave."

"We'll leave," Qin Fen smiled, not at all fazed by Chaoze's choice of words. "It was nice seeing you all again."

"You too, you should come back more often," Ziyi said and pulled Qin Fen into a bro hug.

"Yes, your still part of this team," Zhengting agreed and hugged Qin Fen too.

"Thanks, you guys."

"You're also welcome again," Zhengting said to Mubo.

"Yes, it was nice meeting you," Zeren said with a big smile. Mubo gave them an honest smile.

"You too. You guys are really good."

After everyone given Qin Fen a hug – even Mubo got some hugs – they left. As soon as they were out in the hallway the music started again.

"I'm gonna get take-out and then watch a movie with Jeffrey, you wanna come?" Qin Fen asked.  

Mubo, who had just planned to go home and crash on the sofa and maybe try to convince Zimo to make him food, looked at him a bit surprised. He hadn't expected an invitation.

"Yeah, sure."

"Great!"

On the way over to Qin Fen's the stopped for pizza.

"Jeffrey once ordered egg on his pizza just to see if it would work. It didn't," Qin Fen told him while they waited.

"Zimo once tried banana curry pizza. Surprisingly it wasn't so bad," Mubo shared.

"Weird."

"Finally, I've been starving!" Jeffrey said when the finally came home with the pizzas. "Oh, hello, Mubo-ge."

"Hi, I hope it was okay that I crashed your dinner?" Mubo asked, suddenly unsure. What if Jeffrey wanted to hang out with just Qin Fen?

But Jeffrey just gave him a big smile that showed off his dimples. "Of course! I like having you here. Maybe not as much as Qin Fen does though."

"Here, take the pizza!" Qin Fen said unnecessarily loud and shoved the pizza boxes into Jeffrey's hands. He laughed nervously. "I'm gonna go and get plats!"

"Okay," Mubo said and looked confused after Qin Fen. But a smile was tugging at his lips by Jeffrey's words. He completely missed that Jeffrey rolled his eyes at them.

When Qin Fen returned Jeffrey had occupied the armchair, which left the small sofa for Mubo and Qin Fen. Which was great. Just great. It was not like Mubo still thought about Qin Fen's hand on his knee from earlier. He was just fine with sitting so close to the rapper that he could feel his arm rise and fall with his breathing. No problem at all. While the ate their arms bumped constantly, making it hard for Mubo to focus on eating. Why was Qin Fen affect him so much suddenly?

Since this was supposed to be Qin Fen apologizing to Jeffrey for setting his pink egg-cooker on fire, Jeffrey also got to choose the movie after they eaten. And he chose a horror one. Also just great.

Mubo wouldn't have thought that Jeffrey was a guy who liked horror movies, but apparently, he did. And Qin Fen hated them. So maybe Jeffrey wasn't such a pushover as Mubo first had thought. There was no mercy in the grin Jeffrey sent over to Qin Fen.

"You said I could choose the movie as payback for you breaking Eggie."

"Yes, I know that. Just watch the damn movie," Qin Fen answered, already looking a bit pale.

"Eggie?" Mubo mouthed to Qin Fen when Jeffrey turned his head towards the TV again, humming happily.  

"Don't ask me, I have no idea what goes on in that boy's head," Qin Fen whispered back.

Then the movie started. Qin Fen was suddenly leaning in closer to Mubo, a pillow in his lap, body stiff as he watched the TV. When the first jump scare came, Mubo was more surprised by Qin Fen jumping in the sofa next to him than by the actual jump scare. The rapper almost whimpered and Mubo could've sworn that Jeffrey's grin became wider. Evil.

With the second jump scare Mubo's heart almost stopped. But once again not because of the actual jump scare, but because Qin Fen reached out and grabbed Mubo's hand. The rapper's hand was warm, but the grip was almost painful. Mubo instinctively squeezed back, before he glanced over to Qin Fen. The other's eyes were pressed closed. Mubo tried to wiggle his hand free, but Qin Fen refused to let go. He sighed.

"Hey, come on, let go," he said quietly into Qin Fen's ear. That made the rapper jump and he immediately let go. Mubo could swear that Qin Fen was blushing and had an apology on his tongue. But before he could retract his hand Mubo slotted their hands together again, fingers intertwining, and squeezed his hand reassuring.

Qin Fen looked at him with big eyes. Mubo just gave him a smile and squeezed his hand again.

"Thank you," Qin Fen mouthed before he closed his eyes again and squeezed Mubo's hand back.

After that Mubo had no idea what happened in the movie. He didn't seem to be able to focus on anything other than Qin Fen's warm hand in his. At some point Qin Fen buried his face against Mubo's shoulder and pressed closer. Mubo guessed that something scary was happening on the screen, but he had honestly no idea. The little puff of air that Qin Fen breathed out against his shoulder was highly distracting.

A part of him wanted to shrug Qin Fen off him. Where they close enough to sit like this? Was this normal? Was it normal that his heart was beating like crazy by just a friend holding his hand?

But Qin Fen seemed so afraid that Mubo couldn't make himself shrug him off. Yes, that was the sole reason. Jeffrey was glancing over at them every now and then, smirking like the evil child he was. Mubo got an uncanny feeling that he had planned all this. Considering how quickly he had occupied the armchair (he had literally pushed past Mubo and thrown himself over the armchair, yelling "the armchair is mine!").

The movie eventually ended, what seemed like an eternity later. Mubo wondered if he should let go of Qin Fen now (he kind of didn't want to), but Qin Fen took the decision for him by letting go as soon as the movie ended.

"I gotta go to the bathroom," Qin Fen said, maybe a little too loud, and more or less bolted from the sofa.

"Adorable," Jeffrey commented, grinning like a cat where he sat curled up in the armchair.

"You are a devil child," Mubo said and fell over on the sofa. He felt like he finally could breathe again after the almost two hours of the movie and holding Qin Fen's hand.

"You looked cute together."

"I would ask if you'd planned that, but I rather not know," Mubo mumbled into the sofa. "And I thought my children were bad. Remind me to never introduce you to Peiyao."

"You make him happy, you know," Jeffrey said, suddenly a lot more serious. Mubo peaked up. "He's smiling more often now. It's nice. I like it."

"I like his smile too…"

"Whose smile?" Qin Fen suddenly said above him. Mubo shot up so he was sitting up again.

"No one."

"Okay?" Qin Fen coughed. "I…" He stopped, seeming embarrassed as he fiddled with his hands.

"I'll go back to my room, thank you for tonight," Jeffrey said and actually winked at them before the disappeared into his room.

"I have come to the conclusion that Jeffrey is a devil child. He might even be worse than Peiyao," Mubo shared with Qin Fen.

"Really? What made you come to that conclusion?"

"… nothing…" If Qin Fen hadn't realized what Jeffrey had done, Mubo wouldn't be the one to enlighten him. That would just be awkward.

They stared at each other for a second, both looking awkward. Qin Fen coughed again.

"Maybe I should go home then…" Mubo said eventually. He needed to sort out his feelings.

"Oh? Yeah," Qin Fen nodded, looking like he wanted to say something more, but he kept his mouth shut as he followed Mubo to the door.

"Um…"

"Um…"

"You first," Mubo said quickly and gestured to Qin Fen.

"Um… thank you for tonight. I don't really like horror movies and… yeah, you helped. Thank you," Qin Fen forced out, heat rising on his cheeks. He refused to look on Mubo.

Mubo couldn't help but smile fondly. "Any time," he smiled. Then he stumbled backward as Qin Fen suddenly hugged him.

Mubo was thankful for his body reacting automatically on the hug because his brain kind of shut down. Qin Fen was hugging him. The rapper's strong arms wrapped around Mubo's shoulders and pulled him close. Mubo's arms rested around Qin Fen's waist.

"Thank you for today. I had fun," Mubo eventually managed to say when Qin Fen seemed unable to say anything more. Qin Fen squeezed him tighter. Mubo couldn't help but notice how nice the other smelled or how well they seemed to fit together.

Eventually, Qin Fen let go and gave Mubo an embarrassed smile. "Good night."

"Good night."

As Mubo walked home he couldn't stop thinking about Qin Fen's warm hand in his, and the hug, and Qin Fen's smile. And Mubo might have to admit that he maybe had a teeny tiny crush on the foolish beauty that was Qin Fen.

Chapter Text

"Wow, you're actually admitting you have a crush?" You Zhangjing smirked at Mubo, making Mubo immediately regret telling him about his recent realization.

"This is big," Li Junyi commented. "I thought we never see the day when you admitted that you have a crush. On a rapper none the less."

After a few painful days after he'd realized that he had a crush on Qin Fen, he'd decided that he needed to tell someone before it drove him crazy.

Well, crazier.

He'd considered telling Peiyao, Zimo and Zuo Ye before deciding that that probably was a terrible idea. They would just make his life insufferable.

Well, more insufferable.

So, he'd decided to tell Zhangjing and Junyi, two of his friends that also studied classical music, both singers.

"What has him being a rapper has to do with anything?" Mubo said and took a sip of his coffee.

"It's just unexpected," Junyi said with a shrug.

"Zhangjing's boyfriend is a literature major who likes to tell lame jokes and flirts with everything," Mubo commented.

"Hey, what does my boyfriend has to do with this?" Zhangjing exclaimed.

"It's just unexpected that you would fall for someone like that. He doesn't seem like your type," Mubo shrugged.

"I've seen Qin Fen, he doesn't seem like your type either," Junyi said and raised his eyebrows.

"I would've thought so too, but here we are," Mubo sighed.

He tried to convince himself that maybe he'd been wrong, just caught up in the moment, maybe he didn't have a crush on Qin Fen. But the next time he met the rapper he'd gotten butterflies in his stomach. Goddamn butterflies. Like some high school kid who had their first crush.

Not to mention that he couldn't stop thinking about holding the other's hand again. Which probably just showed who far gone he was. He'd thought about kissing Qin Fen and doing… other stuff, of course, but he always came back to the hand-holding. How he felt anchored down by holding the other's hand. He wanted that feeling again.

But he wasn't sure that Qin Fen wanted it. He'd been a bit off since the movie night, not quite meeting Mubo's eyes and staying far away from any physical contact. It hurt. Maybe he'd guessed what Mubo felt for him and this was his way of saying that he didn't feel the same. Even if it had been him who'd grasped Mubo's hand first. But he had probably just done that at the moment, seeking some sort of comfort from the movie, and then Mubo had gone and intertwined their fingers.

"So, what are you going to do about this revelation of yours?" Zhangjing asked and gave Mubo a piercing look.

"Nothing," Mubo said immediately. Then he continued before Zhangjing could protest. "You guys are coming to the party next week, right?"

"Absolutely. I wouldn't miss baby Ye's birthday for anything in the world," Junyi said. 

"Yes, I'll be there. And Yanjun of course," Zhangjing said with his signature smile. Then it turned into a smirk. "Will Qin Fen be there?"

"… yes."

-

Even if things had become a bit awkward between them the last couple of days, they still needed to work on their project. And they did. Maybe Mubo was imagining things, but it felt like Qin Fen in moments forgot that he was supposed to keep some distance between himself and Mubo. He'd talked about stuff like normal and sat maybe a bit closer than just friends, but then suddenly he moved away again with an awkward smile and didn't dare to meet Mubo's eyes for the rest of their study session.

"Fen?" Mubo said and broke the silence that was between them.

"Mm?" Qin Fen hummed without looking up from his computer.

"Could you do me a favor?" Mubo braced himself for Qin Fen's reaction.

The other turned around with a surprised look. "Sure, what do you need?" He almost looked a little bit expectant.

"Could you introduce me to Cai Xukun?"

Qin Fen looked even more surprised by his request. "Um, why?"

"Remember how I once said that maybe I should introduce Zuo Ye to Cai Xukun as a birthday gift? I didn't really mean it then, but then I thought about it again and thought why not? So, I thought that maybe I could ask him if he wants to come to the party?" Mubo said quickly. He didn't know why this made him so nervous. Maybe it was because the calculating look Qin Fen was giving him.

"What do you think?" Mubo added when Qin Fen didn't immediately answer.

"Yeah, absolutely, we can always go and ask," Qin Fen finally answered. He almost seemed a bit disappointed, for whatever reason. But at least he said ‘we'. Small victories.

"Right now?" Mubo asked when Qin Fen got up.

"Why not? He's probably in his studio now," Qin Fen said with a shrug.

"Oh, okay then."

Mubo was very close to asking what was going on inside Qin Fen's head as they walked over to Cai Xukun's studio (because apparently, he got his own ("Well, technically it isn't his, but nobody else uses it since it's ‘his'")). But he held his tongue.

Qin Fen stopped in front of a door and knocked before he stuck his head inside the room.

"Yo, Xukun, got a minute?"

"Ah, Fen-ge, come in," came the answer from inside the room. Qin Fen gave Mubo a smile before he motioned him to follow him in.

The studio was nothing different from the one he and Qin Fen had been using, nothing to mark it out as Cai Xukun's. The man himself was not alone in there though. He was sitting in the lap of no one else than Wang Ziyi, Ziyi's hands resting comfortably on Xukun's thighs.

Xukun got up from Ziyi's lap as they entered, but he didn't seem embarrassed or anything, he just smiled at them. Seeing him up close Mubo had to admit that he was really handsome, and he could see why Zuo Ye liked him.

"What brings you guys over?" Xukun asked as he bro-hugged Qin Fen.

"My friend has a question for you," Qin Fen said with a gesture at Mubo who tried to not be awkward.

"Oh really?" Xukun said and turned to Mubo. He held out a hand. "Nice to meet you, I'm Cai Xukun."

Mubo took his hand. "I'm Han Mubo."

"And that's Wang Ziyi," Xukun added and pointed at Ziyi who gave a small wave.

"We have met," Ziyi said with a smile. Xukun looked a bit surprised between them.

"You have?"

"I brought him to a dance practice once," Qin Fen explained.

"Ah. I see. So, what can I help you with Mubo-ge?" Xukun said and nodded to them to take a seat in the small sofa that was placed next to the door. They sat down and Xukun moved back so he was leaning against the chair where Ziyi was still seated.

Mubo took a deep breath, he couldn't believe what he was about to ask of the other. This was so embarrassing. The things he did for his didis.

"One of my roommates is a big fan of yours. He literally never shuts up about you. It's his birthday soon, so I was wondering if you wanted to come to the party as a surprise gift?" Mubo said before he could change his mind and drag Qin Fen out of there, apologizing to Xukun and Ziyi for disturbing them, they were clearly busy.

"You're welcome too, of course," he added to Ziyi, who just looked amused.

Xukun laughed, Mubo guessed that was a good sign. At least he hadn't thrown them out for asking such a stupid thing.

"Really?" Xukun said, smiling widely like he couldn't believe it. "Did you hear that, Ziyi, I have a fan."

"I'm not the least surprised, you are amazing, Kunkun," Ziyi said with a fond smile. Xukun's face softened as he looked at Ziyi. Qin Fen actually had to cough to make them break eye contact with each other. Qin Fen and Mubo shared a knowing smile when both Xukun and Ziyi blushed.

"But yeah, sure, why not," Xukun said, obviously trying to ignore the fact that his face was red. "Sounds fun." He gave Mubo a bright smile.

"Be prepared for a lot of yelling. And maybe crying," Mubo warned him as he returned Xukun's smile.

"I think I can handle it," Xukun laughed. "You coming?" he added to Ziyi.

"Of course," Ziyi said and reached for Xukun's hand.

"Sorry if this is rude but is you guys…" Mubo blurted out before he could stop himself.

"Dating?" Xukun finished for him. "Yeah," he said with the softest smile Mubo had ever seen. The look Xukun and Ziyi shared were so full of love that Mubo had to look away.

"Okay, see you on Friday then," Qin Fen said maybe a little too loud and stood up. "We'll stop bothering you now."

"Oh. Sorry," Xukun said with a sheepish smile and turned away from Ziyi, the blush back on his cheeks. "See you then, we look forward to it."

"Thank you," Mubo said and followed Qin Fen out. "Bye."

He just managed to see Ziyi pull Xukun back into his lap, both of them smiling like fools before the door closed behind him.

"Thank you for that," Mubo said to Qin Fen as they made their way back to their studio.

"No problem," Qin Fen said, smiling, but it didn't quite reach his eyes. Maybe it would be better at the party, they were both stressed, and they could need a good time. Yeah, that was it. At the party everything would be better.

-

"Is everyone ready?" Mubo shouted over the small crowd that had gathered in their apartment. Li Xikan - who was responsible for getting Zuo Ye to the party - had just texted him, saying that they were on their way. And that Zuo Ye still was clueless about what was about to go down.

Since his birthday had been in the middle of the week and Mubo, Peiyao and Zimo had baked him a cake and given him his presents then, he didn't suspect that they had also planned the party. Which was just perfect.

All of Zuo Ye's friends were there - and he had quite a lot Mubo had to confess. Qin Fen was also there since he'd become quite close with Mubo's three roommates during their project. Especially Peiyao it seemed like.

Peiyao had been by Qin Fen's shoulder since he'd arrived to help them decorate and set up for the party. He'd been awfully touchy as well, placing his hand on Qin Fen's shoulder, elbow and wrist all the time.

Mubo was well aware what Peiyao tried to do. He tried to get Mubo jealous to make him confess that he liked Qin Fen. Too bad for Peiyao that Mubo already had come to that conclusion and decided that he was just going to stick with being friends with the rapper. So, he wasn't too bothered by Peiyao's antics. It just stung a bit that Qin Fen seemed so okay with it.

And Mubo didn't seem to be the only one who was affected. Zimo had looked sourer the longer the day went and the more Peiyao only paid attention to Qin Fen. Mubo didn't think Peiyao even realized.

"They're on their way," Mubo continued and out down the last bowl of snacks on the table.

"Everybody hides!" Zimo exclaimed with an excited smile, which turned sour when Peiyao grabbed Qin Fen by the wrist and pulled him down behind the sofa with a "let's hide over here, Fen-ge."

Mubo rolled his eyes and dragged Zimo with him around a corner so they wouldn't be visible from the door. He gave the younger a pet on his shoulder while Zimo pretended like nothing. This would be an interesting night, he wondered if anyone would bet with him on how long it would take for Zimo to break?

The apartment quieted down as everyone found spots to hide. Yanlei was very obviously hiding behind one of the curtains, his big feet sticking out, but Mubo didn't care to tell him to stop being a moron and hide somewhere more sensible since Zuo Ye probably wouldn't notice him anyway (they'd played hide and seek once – Zimo's idea – and Zuo Ye hadn't found Peiyao who was literally laying on the sofa with a blanket over him, until he sat down on top him).

Finally, they heard footsteps in the hallway and the door opening.

"Weird, the door was unlocked?" they heard Zuo Ye say to Xikan. "Probably Zimo-ge who forgot to lock it."

Next to Mubo Zimo puffed, clearly insulted.

The moment Zuo Ye stepped into the living room they jumped out from their hiding spots and yelled "SURPRISE!". Something sounded like it ripped but Mubo decided to not investigate now, focusing on Zuo Ye instead.

Zuo Ye actually fell over from the shook and ended up sitting on his ass, looking up at them with big eyes. His lower lip slightly quivered.

"What the hell, you guys."

"Happy birthday, Ye-di!" Zimo exclaimed as Mubo helped Zuo Ye up and dusted him off.

Someone put on some music and the party started as people came up to Zuo Ye and congratulated him, the birthday boy still seeming a bit dazed. Mubo kept a comforting arm around Zuo Ye's shoulders, chatting with the guest when Zuo Ye could only stammer in thankfulness.

"Happy birthday, Zuo Ye!" Yanlei shouted and patted Zuo Ye forcefully on a shoulder. Yanlei had a fabric around his shoulders that seemed familiar.

"Wait, is that my curtain?" Mubo suddenly said, interrupting Yanlei's speech about growing up and self-discovery. He looked over at the window, and yes, there was only one curtain hanging there now. Yanlei managed to at least look a bit sheepish.

"What the hell," Mubo continued. He'd knew that is had been a bad idea to invite Yanlei, the guy was a walking disaster.

"Oops?" Yanlei said and held out his hands. Mubo facepalmed.

Suddenly there was a knock on the door. Zuo Ye looked surprised and Mubo tried to keep back his grin. He knew exactly who was outside that door.

"More guests, go open the door, Ye-di," he said and steered Zuo Ye to the door before he stepped back and quickly took up his phone. This was going to be too good to not be filmed. Mubo managed to catch Qin Fen's eye and nodded with his head towards the door. Qin Fen seemed to get the hint and started to gather people up. Because everyone would want to see this.

Zuo Ye didn't seem to sense that something was off, considering more or less all the party guest were following him to the door. He just opened the door and for the second time that night found himself on the floor, this time actually crying.

"Happy birthday, Zuo Ye!" Cai Xukun said and held out a bouquet of flowers, then stopped in his tracks when Zuo Ye disappeared in front of him. "Oh." Behind him Ziyi tried to hide a laugh.

A laughing Peiyao and Zimo helped Zuo Ye up again, the youngest still sobbing. Xukun looked a bit alarmed.

"Are you okay?" he asked tentatively.

"I'm just- really- happy," Zuo Ye managed to get out between sobs, then he threw himself at Xukun who reacted quick enough to catch him. Xukun patted the other on the back as Zuo Ye cried against his shoulder. Mubo tried not to laugh at Xukun's quite shocked face. 

"I did warn you," Mubo said as Zuo Ye did no motion to let go of Xukun. Xukun smiled faintly and continued to pat Zuo Ye on the back.

"I guess you did."

"Bo-ge, I think you broke Ye-di," Zimo commented. He was leaning against Peiyao and the other had placed his arm around Zimo's waist. Mubo didn't think either of them realized.

"Hey, bro, come on, time to let go," Ziyi finally said and gently peeled Zuo Ye's arms from around his boyfriend's neck. Xukun looked thankful for that.

After Zuo Ye had calmed down enough to form complete sentences again Mubo left him with Xukun and Ziyi to give him time to bond with his idol. After having given Xukun and Ziyi something to drink. They were probably gonna need it.

Mubo looked around and saw that Peiyao had attached himself to Qin Fen again, his hand on the rapper's knee as they were seated on the sofa talking to Li Junyi. Peiyao looked up and caught Mubo's eye and gave him a cheeky grin before he turned back to Qin Fen. Mubo huffed and turned away. He was not concerned about what Peiyao was doing, he knew that Peiyao had no real interest in Qin Fen. But a tiny voice in his head couldn't help but point out that Qin Fen didn't seem to mind and that he hadn't really talked to Mubo during the whole evening.

He tried to distract himself by talking to the other guests. He ended up talking to Zhangjing and Yanjun, but eventually, he had to excuse himself when Yanjun cracked the tenth cold joke in half an hour, something that only Zhangjing found fun and endearing. How Zhangjing could live with all the bad jokes and cheesy pick-up lines Mubo would never understand. 

"Zimo, what are you doing?" Mubo asked when he found the younger mixing something in a big glass in the kitchen.

"A drink," Zimo slurred. He clearly had enough to drink already. Mubo tried to take the glass from him, but Zimo managed to skip away, shouting about Mubo ruining his good time. He slipped into the crowd that was dancing in the living-room and Mubo decided that it wasn't worth hunting him down. Especially not since Peiyao slipped up next to him, Qin Fen nowhere in sight.

"Mubo," Peiyao greeted. 

"Peiyao," Mubo nodded. "Where do you have Qin Fen?"

"He needed to use the restroom," Peiyao said with a shrug and gave Mubo a look that probably meant ‘what are going to do about it?'

"Don't think I don't know what you're trying to do," Mubo told him and poked him in the chest. "I'm not stupid."

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Peiyao answered, trying to sound indifferent. Mubo huffed.

"You're trying to make me jealous."

"Is it working?"

"No," Mubo said, maybe a little too quick. Peiyao raised an eyebrow and smirked.

"So, it is working huh." Peiyao seemed a bit too pleased with himself.

"Maybe you should try to give some of all that attention to Zimo instead," Mubo shot back, wanting to change the subject away from himself.

"Zimo?" Now Peiyao sounded confused, like that was the last thing he expected Mubo to say.

"He's been moping the whole evening and drunk himself stupid," Mubo informed him and pointed to the living-room where Zimo somehow managed to get on top of the coffee table and was dancing wildly.

"Oh," was all Peiyao said and Mubo shook his head.

"For someone claiming to be perceptive, you're really blind sometimes, Jing Peiyao."

"Fuck."

"Language," Mubo scolded. But Peiyao didn't seem to hear him as he drained his drink and made his way over to Zimo. Mubo shook his head.

"Where's Peiyao going?" Qin Fen suddenly asked behind Mubo, making him jump slightly.

"He's either joining Zimo on the table or dragging him down from there," Mubo said, trying not to show how affected he was by Qin Fen and how close he was standing. The rapper clearly also had more than enough to drink. He nodded at what Mubo said, eyes not really focused.

"Have you had a good evening?" Mubo asked when Qin Fen remained silent. He was still the host of this party, and he didn't know what else to say.

"I'm sorry," Qin Fen suddenly said. "Mubo, I'm so, so sorry. I didn't want to make you uncomfortable. I'm sorry." He continued to ramble while Mubo just stared at him, unsure what this was about.

"Qin Fen," Mubo finally said, interrupting the rapper who immediately shut up. "I have no idea what you're apologizing for."

"I…" Qin Fen started before he abruptly closed his mouth and put a hand over it, rushing off to the bathroom.

Mubo patted Qin Fen on the back as he threw up. He groaned and whimpered pathetically.

"I wouldn't have guessed you were such a light-weight," Mubo commented, a grin tugging at his lips.

"Sorry…"

"Stop apologizing."

"Sorry."

"Seriously."

At that Qin Fen laughed weakly. He slowly got up, looking awful. Mubo took his arm to steady him and Qin Fen gave him a thankful smile that made Mubo's heart ache.

"You know, this isn't how I had planned that this night would end," Qin Fen said before he put his face under the faucet to wash his face and rinse his mouth. Mubo handed him a towel.

"Okay?" he said as he watched the rapper dry his face. Qin Fen chuckled, but there wasn't any joy in it.

"It's stupid, and I've probably would've chickened out anyway," Qin Fen said dryly, and Mubo had never seen him so beaten down. "But I could've lived without disappointing you again."

"You haven't disappointed me," Mubo said immediately. Anything to get the smile back onto Qin Fen's lips.

"Yes, I have," Qin Fen said firmly. "And I'm sorry I'm such a mess."

"Don't beat yourself down," Mubo said just as firmly and grabbed the other's wrist and stepped closer. Qin Fen's skin looked a bit sickly after throwing up and in the sharp light of the bathroom, but he was still as beautiful as ever. Mubo let go of Qin Fen's wrist and slipped his hand down so he could intertwine their fingers. The alcohol was making him brave. Or stupid maybe, but he didn't care right now. Outside the party was still going on, but it felt like they were standing in their own little bubble, the music muffled and the voices from their friends seeming far off.

Qin Fen looked at him with big eyes. He was slightly trembling, but he automatically squeezed Mubo's hand back.

"You haven't disappointed me. Not tonight and not before," Mubo repeated.

"I literally disappeared for a couple of days. You were so angry I thought you never wanted to see me again," Qin Fen mumbled, unable to meet Mubo's eyes. Mubo winced at the memory.

"Okay, that is true," he confessed. Qin Fen gave him a quick look like to say ‘right?'

"But since then you haven't disappointed me," Mubo continued and put his other hand on Qin Fen's shoulder. He was surprised when Qin Fen let his head fall down on his shoulder. Mubo gingerly moved his hand from his shoulder to his neck, fingers brushing his hair and soft skin. Qin Fen put his free arm around Mubo's middle and pulled him closer.

None of them said anything. They just excited inside their bubble. Mubo was afraid that if he said anything he would burst the bubble and Qin Fen would pull away again. The little puffs of air that Qin Fen breathed against his neck sent shivers down his back and he was sure that Qin Fen would be able to feel how hard his heart was beating since they were standing chest to chest.

Eventually, Qin Fen lifted his head from Mubo's shoulder, but he did nothing to pull away. Their eyes met and Mubo felt dragged in by Qin Fen's gaze. They were nose to nose, breaths shallow. Mubo closed his eyes as Qin Fen leaned in.

A sudden knock on the door made them jump apart.

"Hey, stop hogging the toilet!" someone shouted from outside. Qin Fen looked like a deer caught in the light, eyes big as he turned away from Mubo and rushed out of the bathroom.

"Um, what's going on in here?" Zhangjing asked as he poked his head inside the door. Behind him Yanjun was grinning widely. Mubo just managed to look dazed after Qin Fen, wondering what the hell that had happened there?

One thing he was sure of – he immediately missed Qin Fen's warmth.

Chapter Text

"What was that about?" Zhangjing asked when Mubo did nothing to answer him.

"Were you snogging?" Yanjun grinned and Zhangjing hit him on the arm. "What, that was totally what they were doing."

"I need a drink. Or two," Mubo said and pushed past them. ‘Or a hell of a lot of drinks', he thought, his brain slowly catching up with what had just happened and just as quickly decided that this was something they needed to forget.

"Mubo, wait," Zhangjing called after him. Mubo ignored him, sensing that Zhangjing would be all rational and helpful and right now he just wanted to join Zimo and drink himself stupid. Anything to forget Qin Fen's terrified eyes when he'd realized what they were about to do.

The music was loud in the living room, some people still dancing. Zuo Ye had passed out on the sofa, Xikan busy giving him whiskers with a marker. In the chair in the corner Xukun was seated on Ziyi's lap, the couple softly making out, smiling at each other. The sight made Mubo's heart clench. He imagined it being him and Qin Fen and quickly had to look away.

On the other side of the sofa Peiyao sat with Zimo leaning against his side, his finger's carding through the younger's hair, a content look on his face. Mubo moved to the kitchen before they noticed him because he figured that Peiyao would manage to see right through him straight away. And right now he didn't want to answer any questions.

The rest of the night disappeared in a blur. He somehow managed to avoid both Zhangjing and Peiyao. He thinks Yanjun had something to do about keeping Zhangjing off his ass, and he was thankful for that, even if he wished the dimpled man could've done it with little less PDA. Somewhere around there he lost the count on how many drinks and shots he drained, just floating in the feeling of not feeling much at all.

He had hoped that his endless drinking would wipe his memory of the almost kiss, but it was still very much there the next morning when he woke up with a splitting headache and fully dressed in his bed. He groaned and rolled over, putting a pillow over his head to shut out the light that was piercing his eyes. Because of course he had forgotten to roll down his blinders in his drunken state.

Rolling over was a bad decision though, the movement causing a flood of nausea. He barely made it to the toilet before his stomach chose to empty itself. The way he was bent over the toilet gave him ironic flashback from the night before, except for the fact that Qin Fen wasn't there to pat his back the way Mubo had patted his.

Eventually, the nausea calmed down enough for Mubo to get up. He was going to get a glass of water and some painkiller before going back to bed. He had no intentions of doing anything today except wallowing in his own misery. That sounded like a great plan.

The living-room was a mess but thank god empty. He didn't think he'd be able to handle over-night guests, who'd probably just be in the same sorry state as himself.

Wait, where was Zuo Ye?

He looked around. Since the sofa was his usual bed (it was a pull-out sofa), he should be there, but there was no sign of the youngest resident. Mubo went to the kitchen to get a glass of water and some painkillers before making his way through the mess over to Peiyao and Zimo's room. The door wasn't fully closed so he carefully pushed it open and peaked in. The sight made him smile a bit, despite the pain and heartache.

Peiyao was sleeping with Zimo closely cuddled to his chest, the younger with his face against the crook of the neck of the older. Peiyao had his arms wrapped around Zimo and he had a soft smile on his lips that Mubo never saw before.

He glanced up and figured that the lump in Zimo's top bunk must be Zuo Ye then. He wondered for a second how they managed to get Zuo Ye up there before he just shook his head and headed back to his own bed.

Mubo checked his phone as he crawled down under his cover after having pulled off his clothes from the night before. He had two messages from Zhangjing wondering if he was okay, one from Junyi complaining about his hangover, and one from Xukun thanking him for inviting him.

But none from Qin Fen.

Mubo wondered what he'd expected. Anything maybe. Anything other than silence. He put his phone away without answering to any of the messages and put one of his pillows back over his head. He was just gonna sleep a couple of hours more, and then maybe everything would feel better.

Everything didn't feel better when he woke up later in the afternoon from a knock on his door. The hangover felt slightly better, but not anything else.

"You alive?" Zimo asked and poked his head into his bedroom.

"No," Mubo grumbled, not even bothering to look at Zimo.

"Good," Zimo said. "Yao made breakfast. Or lunch maybe. Late lunch. Whatever, there's food, come on."

Mubo just grumbled again, and then some more when Zimo literally pulled him out of his bed.

"You look like shit," Zimo commented when Mubo finally rolled out of his bed.

"I feel like shit," he said sourly and glanced at Zimo. "You look way too happy for someone who's also supposed to be hungover."

Zimo just hummed with a dopey smile on his face and more or less skipped out to the kitchen. Mubo followed him at a much slower pace.

Zuo Ye had his head on the table, looking like Mubo felt. The kid had definitely had more than enough to drink at the party. He looked more dead than alive. Zimo happily jumped around the table to ruffle his hair.

"Come on, Ye-di," he sing-song'd and pulled Zuo Ye up in a seated position. "Your Yao-ge have made you food."

Zuo Ye groaned and looked like he might be sick. Zimo didn't seem to notice. Mubo looked over at Peiyao who hade his back against them, but Mubo could feel the jittery energy flowing out from him. He didn't seem at all as happy as Zimo. Mubo frowned. He hoped that just meant he was more hungover than the other, but Mubo suspected that it could be more than that. Zimo didn't seem to notice though.

Breakfast, or lunch or whatever, was kind of subdued, with both Mubo and Zuo Ye feeling more dead than alive, and Peiyao seeming deep in his own thoughts, only glancing up at Zimo now and then.

Zimo was the only one who talked, not seeming at all put down by the atmosphere. Mubo was slightly impressed by Zimo's ability to ignore the mood of the room. Even if he wasn't really listening, it was nice to have a voice filling the room and distract him from his thoughts for a while.

He had dreamt about Qin Fen. In the dream they had gotten further than they had in reality, Mubo being allowed to press his lips against Qin Fen's soft ones, having the other's arms around him as the kiss became deeper.

Later that evening, after he had replied to all his text (still none from Qin Fen), convincing Zhangjing that he was fine, Peiyao slipped into his room and sat down on Mubo's bed. He seemed jittery again, fiddling with his hands, not really looking at anything.

"Everything okay?" Mubo said and put down his phone so he could properly look at the younger.

"I think I like Zimo…" Peiyao confessed after a while.

"You think?" Mubo said disbelievingly. He'd suspected that Peiyao might be suppressing his feelings, but this was worse than he'd thought.

"I don't know. I'm not good at stuff like this," Peiyao said, sounding a bit distressed, making Mubo soften.

"Hey, it's okay," Mubo said, patting the other on the back. "What happened last night?"

"Nothing," Peiyao said immediately. Mubo gave him a skeptical look. "I mean it. Nothing like… that happened. We just… cuddled. He slept in my bed. And… he might have confessed that he's in love with me. But he was drunk, so I don't know if he meant it."

"I'm gonna say this in the kindest way I can muster, but you are an idiot, Jing Peiyao," Mubo deadpanned. That actually made Peiyao finally look up at him. "You two have been walking in circles around each other for months. Hell, you've been like that as long as I've known you."

"I… I didn't realize."

"Clearly," Mubo sighed. "Zimo likes you, you know only drunks and kids tell the truth. And from what I can tell, you really like him too. Despite the stunt you pulled with Qin Fen yesterday."

"Sorry," Peiyao apologized. "I guessed it was easier to focus on your relationship with Qin Fen than acknowledge my feelings from Zimo."

Mubo took a deep breath, considering if he should be honest with the younger. But since Peiyao had told him about his feelings, he guessed it was only fair. "I like Qin Fen."

Peiyao actually smirked and Mubo shoved him. "I know. But I'm glad to hear you admit it."

Mubo rolled his eyes at him. "Where's Zimo now?"

"He's watching a movie with Zuo Ye. I told him I needed to study, but I just needed to think. I don't know what to do now."

"Just let it take its time. If you're not ready to voice your feelings out loud, just show him that you like him as well. But please keep the PDA to a minimum in the apartment," Mubo said and patted Peiyao on the shoulder.

"Thanks, Bo-ge," Peiyao smiled faintly. "I'll do my best."

"That's my boy."

Peiyao laughed and shoved him, and Mubo smiled back.

"So, what's up with Qin Fen and you?"

"… we almost kissed yesterday," Mubo confessed.

"Oh my god," Peiyao said with big eyes. "What happened?"

"We were interrupted before anything could happen. And then he bolted. I haven't heard from him since."

"Oh."

"It probably means that he regrets it."

"Have you tried to talk to him?"

"Well… no."

"Then you don't know what he feels. He might be thinking the same thing as you and are just waiting for you to write to him," Peiyao said reasonably. Mubo just shrugged.

"Come on. You know I'm right. Just talk to him."

"I'll do it tomorrow, okay?" Mubo said and sighed. "I think I'll just go to bed now."

"Okay, do that. But I'll pester you tomorrow until you talk to Fen-ge," Peiyao said and got up.

"I assumed. Good night, Yao."

"'Night, Bo-ge."

-

Before Mubo could come up with what to write to Qin Fen, the other texted him. He felt relieved, considering he'd just deleted his fourteenth message without sending it, still trying to figure out what to say.

Qin Fen (15.32)

Hi! How are you feeling after the party? I'm too old for drinking like that, i've felt like crap the last two days and i can't remember most of the party. I hope i didn't do anything too embarrassing??

Mubo stared at his phone. Qin Fen didn't remember.  He didn't remember that they almost kissed and that he'd bolted right after. Mubo didn't know if he should feel relieved or not. A part of him was relieved because then he could pretend like nothing as well. But the lump in his chest said something else.  

Han Mubo (15.47)

Hi. I'm good. Felt like death yesterday, but it's better today. You didn't do anything too embarrassing, you just threw up in the bathroom and then went home.

Qin Fen (15.48)

That's a bit embarrassing tho. Sorry!

Han Mubo (15.53)

No, it's okay. At least you did it in the toilet and not on the floor.

Qin Fen (15.54)

Small mercies. When do you want to meet up this week? I'm free any day!

And just like that they're where back to normal. Or at least back to the normal, they had after the movie night when they held hands. Mubo doubted they would ever go back to what they had before. Whatever that was.

March turned into April, the weeks passing by. Mubo and Qin Fen continued working together to perfect their song, while their relationship turned more distant. Mubo was sure that Qin Fen had guessed his feeling and was keeping a distance between them because of that. He was clearly uncomfortable. So Mubo let him slip away, keeping himself more closed off.

Zimo's birthday passed by, but this time they decided to have a quiet game-night just the four of them, instead of a party. Mubo didn't even bother asking if Qin Fen wanted to come. The rapper was always busy nowadays anyway. None of the others asked any questions, they just let Mubo be, which he was thankful for.

Their project was coming along just fine. They've decided on writing a generic love-song for lyrics, none of them satisfied with that but both of them unsure what to put there instead. Qin Fen was mostly responsible for lyrics since Mubo was terrible with words. Qin Fen didn't seem to mind though. And he had more experience of song-writing than Mubo, who'd just composed before. The song would probably not be neither of their best work, not with all the unspoken feelings between them, but at least it would be presentable. Everyone liked a good love-song, right?

-

"Do you still love him?" Peiyao asked at the end of April. It was just two weeks left until they had the showcase when they were supposed to present and perform their collaboration.

"I wouldn't say love…"

"Okay, are you still pining painfully over him, dreaming about holding his hand and taking strolls through the forest on bright autumn days, and eventually grow old together?"

"What the hell?" Mubo asked, giving the younger a weird look. Peiyao just shrugged.

"I've been watching a lot of dramas with Zimo. But do you still want one certain Qin Fen?"

"… yes," Mubo confessed and put his face in his hands. His stomach made a weird flip every time he saw the rapper, and he'd caught himself staring at the other more times than he wanted to confess to. He was taking that to his grave.

"You should really tell him," Peiyao said and patted his elbow, taking a sip from his coffee.

"How about no?"

"What's the worst that could happen?"

"He doesn't want me back. And that will ruin our relationship completely," Mubo said. He could already see Qin Fen's pitying eyes when he had to turn him down after Mubo had poured his heart out for him.

"To you want my honest opinion?"

"I don't think I can stop you from telling me."

"True," Peiyao nodded and continued while Mubo rolled his eyes. "This is how I see it. Yours and Fen-ge's relationships are already kind of ruined. You haven't talked or hung out properly since Zuo Ye's birthday-party. Which if I must remind you was over a month ago. Things are already awkward and stiff, and if it continues in this direction the likelihood of you two keeping up a friendship after your project is over is close to non-existent. So, either you take a chance and confess, or you two will just drift apart anyway."

"I…" Mubo stared at Peiyao. That… actually made a lot of sense. To bad Mubo never been good at taking chances.

"And I would bet you anything that Qin Fen likes you back," Peiyao continued before Mubo got a chance to say anything. "You two are just too dense and afraid to do anything about it."

"Fine," Mubo breathed out and furrowed his browns. He guessed he had nothing to lose. Except for his dignity. But it was for love so it might be okay. And that was cheesy as hell.

"I don't know if I want to know what you're thinking about, but your face is red," Peiyao commented from behind his coffee-cup.

"Shut up."

Peiyao just grinned like the smug bastard he was and Mubo resisted the urge to kick him.

"And fine, I will do something about it. Confess, or whatever," Mubo continued and forced himself to keep looking at Peiyao and not hide his face in embarrassment. The mere thought of confessing to Qin Fen made his stomach turn violently.

"That makes me happy to hear," Peiyao smiled.

"Just because you like to see me suffer," Mubo said sourly.

"That is true. But also, because I think you deserve happiness and I think Qin Fen can be that happiness."

"You've let Zimo turn you into a sap."

Now it was Peiyao's turn to blush. "Shut up."

"But I'll do it after our project is over. Because then I have nothing to lose," Mubo decided.

"I'm okay with that. Then you just have to get through the few coming weeks," Peiyao said and took a sip of his coffee as Mubo groaned.

-

Qin Fen looked up when Mubo placed the cup of tea in front of him. Mubo gave him a small smile before he took his usual chair next to the other in their studio.

"Thank you," Qin Fen said with a matching smile, taking a sip. "You didn't have to."

"I wanted to," Mubo told him honestly. If he wasn't mistaken it looked like Qin Fen blushed lightly. But it might just be a trick of the light.

"Thanks. I'll buy next time."

"You've seriously already bought me enough coffee to last me a lifetime," Mubo said, trying to lighten the mood a bit. But Qin Fen seemed to have fallen deep down in his own thoughts, just humming slightly as a response. Mubo tried not to sigh.

"I think I'm done with the lyrics by the way," Qin Fen said after a while. Mubo took off his headphones. "If you want to read them?"

"Yeah, sure," Mubo said, trying not to sound too curious. Qin Fen just handed over the lyrics-sheet with a nervous smile.

The lyrics were nice. Nothing revolutionary, just a nice love song with lots of you're the prettiest when you smile, and run away with me, and I will love you forever. It was bare from anything personal and it could be about anyone. Which made it good, most of their audience would be able to relate to it.

And if Mubo was a little bit disappointed that the lyrics showed no sign if Qin Fen had feelings for him, he tried not to show it.

"You don't like it?" Qin Fen asked a bit anxious. So much for not showing his feelings on his face. And he hadn't realized that the rapper had been watching him.

"I do. It's good. Good job," he smiled reassuringly.  

"Really? Because you were furrowing your eyebrows quite a lot," Qin Fen said, still looking a bit worried.

Mubo resisted the urge to hit himself. He was being too obvious. "Sorry, my mind wandered away to something else. It had nothing to do with your lyrics. Promise," Mubo said, which was almost true. Qin Fen seemed to relax.

"Okay. Good. I'm glad you like it."

Mubo barely managed to stop himself from blurting out ‘I like anything you make'. Instead, he just nodded and turned back to the thing he'd been working on (read; trying to figure out the best way to confess to Qin Fen), missing Qin Fen's sad look as he turned away.

-

"Stop freaking out," Peiyao begged and grabbed Mubo's shoulder, making him stand still. It was finally time for their showcase and they're where standing back-stage among the other seniors that were participating. How Zimo had managed to get himself, Peiyao and Zuo Ye back-stage Mubo didn't want to know. Peiyao had just shrugged when Mubo had given him a questioning look over Zimo's shoulder as the younger hugged him.

Mubo was as ready he would ever be. He'd even come to terms with how he was going to confess to Qin Fen afterward. There was only one problem.

Qin Fen wasn't there.

"He's late," Mubo said, trying not to lose his cool. By the almost pitying look Zuo Ye gave him he suspected that he didn't succeed.

"He'll show up," Zimo said, patting Mubo reassuring on the shoulder.

"He will," Peiyao said firmly. "His graduation hangs on this as well. So, if nothing else he'll show up for that."

The logic of that made Mubo relax a bit. There was no way Qin Fen would mess up his graduation. He was going to show up.

"Look, there he is," Zuo Ye suddenly said, pointing over to the door. Mubo turned around so quickly he almost fell over, completely ignoring Zimo and Peiyao's teasing smiles.

As he met Qin Fen's eyes across the room it suddenly felt like he didn't have any air in his lungs. The rapper stopped in his tracks when he saw Mubo, the two of them just staring at each other. Qin Fen looked unreasonable good, all clad in with, matching Mubo's dark attire. He'd also had his hair done, styled away from his forehead, making him look more handsome than should be legal. He looked a bit stressed but seemed to relax when he saw Mubo. Mubo could also feel himself relax when the rapper finally showed up.

Peiyao coughed lightly behind Mubo, making him jump slightly, breaking eye-contact with Qin Fen. That also made the rapper jump and start moving toward them again.

"You made it!" Zimo gleamed when Mubo didn't say anything. If Qin Fen was surprised with them being there he didn't show it.

"Sorry, I'm a bit late. Zhengting was set on doing my hair and make-up, and he was a little bit too meticulous, so the time ran away," Qin Fen said, a bit bashful.

"You look good," Mubo blurted out. He could feel Peiyao rolling his eyes at him, so he didn't bother looking. Instead, he kept his eyes at Qin Fen.

The rapper blushed. "Thank you. You too," he said, making Mubo blush as well.

"Okay, you both look good, now get ready to go onto stage, it's about to start. We'll go and find out seats. Jiayou," Peiyao said after a while of awkward silence, dragging Zimo and Zuo Ye with him.

Mubo almost called after them, to beg them to stay. Qin Fen seemed nervous, not quite looking at Mubo. He was fiddling with the cuffs of his shirt, shifting his weight from foot to foot. Mubo could feel the nervousness seeping into him as well.

"I'll go and pack up my cello. I need to warm up," he mumbled and quickly left Qin Fen to fiddle by himself, not giving the other a chance to answer if he'd even heard him.

Eventually, he needed to shuffle back to Qin Fen, as their turn was coming up. And he couldn’t really spend more time tuning his cello like an idiot. Qin Fen seemed even more nervous now, unable to stand still and gaze hopping around.

"You never strike me as the nervous type," Mubo couldn't help but comment. Qin Fen let out a nervous chuckle but didn't look at Mubo.

"I'm usually not. But this is… different."

Mubo got a feeling that that's not what he'd been about to say but didn't question it. "You'll do great, I'm sure of it."

"Thanks. You too."

They stood in silence until their names were called. Mubo wanted to say so much, but no words came out, so he just stood there trying not to fiddle with his bow and stealing glances at Qin Fen.

The rapper gave him a smile that looked mostly painful and like he was about to throw up when Mubo made his way up to the stage. He almost stopped to check with Qin Fen if he really was alright, but the crowd was dragging him forward. Qin Fen just had to keep it together for their performance.

A lone chair was standing a bit to the left of the middle of the stage and Mubo took it as the crowd quieted down. He had a single spotlight on him as he lined up his cello in front of him. He took a deep breath before he placed the bow on the strings, casting a glance over the audience. Zimo and Zuo Ye were waving like maniacs while Peiyao just gave an encouraging nod. In the first row, his professor looked expectant.

Mubo closed his eyes and started playing. The song started softly, just him and his cello filling the hall with sound. After a while, the background music started and Mubo could feel Qin Fen coming out on the stage behind him, not needing to look.

But the moment Qin Fen started his slow melodic rap Mubo's eyes shot open. Because that's not how the lyrics was supposed to go. He barely managed to continue playing as Qin Fen rapped something completely different than what they agreed on.

Rapped about him.

Play for me, play the cello as only you can

The moment I first saw you, shining on the stage

I wanted to talk to you, know you, meet you backstage

You're the sugar in my Earl Grey, let's fly away to Cannes.

Hold me close, hold my hand, save me from my fears

Knowing you, it's like it's been years

Be a constant in my life

Your smile cut through me like a knife

Mubo carefully placed his cello next to him and took up the microphone, moving forward so he shared the front of the stage with the rapper. He could feel his cheeks burning as he lifted the microphone to his lips to sing the chorus.

Run away with me, sing with me

Dance with me, hold me close on rainy days

Run away with me, smile with me

Love with me, let me be your always

Qin Fen turned around, so he was facing him, his gaze firm as he met Mubo's eyes. The stage light made him shine and Mubo was glad that his part in the song was over for now because Qin Fen look breath-taking and he wasn't sure he'd been able to continue singing.

I'm sorry for my ways, I'm sorry for pulling away

I'm sorry for keeping you waiting, day and day

You are my harbor, the one I want to come home to

I'm never feeling blue when I'm with you

Qin Fen took a deep breath and Mubo held his. He felt like he was having an outer body experience. This couldn't be happening.

I'm so so in love with you

I'm so so in love with you

I love the way you smile, and the way you laugh

I love your thoughts and your mind

My love for you is blind

Mubo almost forgot that he was supposed to finish the song with another chorus after that very obvious confession. The rapper looked a bit shy as he lowered his microphone, not quite looking at Mubo.

Run away with me, sing with me

Dance with me, hold me close on rainy days

Run away with me, smile with me

Love with me, let me be your always

Run away with me, sing with me

Dance with me, hold me close on rainy days

Run away with me, smile with me

Love with me, let me be your always

As he finished the last line he stepped closer to Qin Fen, grabbing him by his suit jacket and pulling him in. As the last note sounded Mubo pressed his lips against Qin Fen's, completely ignoring the fact that they had a whole audience looking at them. The rapper seemed startled at first, but he quickly found himself, wrapping his arms around Mubo's middle and met his lips eagerly.

The crowd erupted in wild cheers, and Mubo could swear he heard Peiyao, Zimo and Zuo Ye screaming above everyone else.

They pulled away from each other. Qin Fen was beaming and Mubo felt incredible fond. They linked their hands as they turned to face the audience and bowed. The crowd cheered even louder.

Qin Fen refused to let go of Mubo's hand as he went to gather his cello before they made their way off stage. Mubo felt a bit dazed, it all seemed like a dream.

"Hi," Qin Fen said shyly when they stopped behind the stage.

"Hi," Mubo breathed. "Please warn me next time you plan to pull a stunt like that. I almost dropped the melody when you started rapping."

"Sorry." Qin Fen looked remorseful, and Mubo quickly had to add:

"I'm not really mad. I'm just slightly overwhelmed. I can't you like me too."

"Of course I like you," Qin Fen said, stepping closer. "I've liked you for so long."

"God, we really are idiots," Mubo sighed. "Peiyao will never let me hear the end of this."

Qin Fen laughed and pulled Mubo in. "Can I kiss you again?"

"Please," Mubo breathed and leaned in to close the distance between them. He smiled against Qin Fen's lips, feeling more alive than he ever had before.

Chapter Text

"Look, Bo-ge, I have a door! That I can close! And a bed that isn't a sofa!" Zuo Ye exclaimed happily, opening and closing the door to his new room, formerly Peiyao and Zimo's room.

"That's very nice," Mubo told him as he passed with the last box with his stuff.

It felt a bit weird, emptying the apartment that had been his from the beginning from all his things, but leaving Peiyao, Zimo and Zuo Ye. But it also felt good, finally moving in with Qin Fen and beginning the next step of their lives.

"You want help with that?" Qin Fen said when Mubo met him in the door.

"No, it's fine," Mubo told him and Qin Fen smiled and placed a quick peck on his cheek as he passed him into the apartment.

Even with the sun shining the air was cold outside. Fall had finally taken a full grip on the weather, but Mubo didn't mind. He liked the fall. It had always suited his mood. Everything seemed to slow down, and it was quieter outside. If he was fall, then Qin Fen was spring. Lively, quick and open in his emotions, a breath of fresh air. And even after about a year and a half together he still managed to make Mubo's heartbeat race.

He placed the last box in the back of the car before he made his way back up. The kids had decided to throw him and Qin Fen a good-bye-dinner when they came over to get the last boxes of Mubo's stuff.

"That makes it sound like we're never going to see each other again. We're literally moving 20 minutes away," Mubo had said to Zimo when he'd told them about the dinner.

"We've barely seen you as it is, you're always at Qin Fen's, so now when you two officially gonna live together we might as well never see you again," Zimo had pointed out.

"Heh, it's not that bad," Qin Fen had tried to argue, ears red.

"That's just because Jeffrey's a nicer kid than you three," Mubo had said, crossing his arms.

"That's it. Dinner's canceled," Zimo had huffed, turning away.

"No, it's not. Can you guys behave for like a minute, that would be great," Peiyao had said, rolling his eyes at them.

So, with Peiyao being the voice of reason, the dinner was still on. And Mubo was happy for it, for them, and for them arranging this for him and Qin Fen. A small part of him was going to miss living with them (a very very small part).

The dinner turned out just as much of a mess that you'd expect. Zimo told them a little too much of his and Peiyao's sex life, Qin Fen tried to block them out by accidentally putting himself on fire when he reached over the table to grab something and his sleeve caught the lights standing there, and Zuo Ye cried as held a whole little speech about how much he loved them.

You know, just another night in their weird little family.

Mubo had always seen himself as someone who preferred peace and quiet, but as he looked around the table at his boyfriend and three friends, he realised that he wouldn't change them for all the peace and quiet in the world.

"Why are you looking all sappy and happy over? It's freaking me out," Zimo pointed out and threw a piece of tofu on him.

"I changed my mind, I'm not gonna miss you guys at all," Mubo decided, throwing the tofu back at Zimo, hitting him square between the eyes. Mubo 1 – Zimo 0.

"He is, he told me so yesterday," Qin Fen, that traitor, said, giving Mubo a smile.

"I thought you were supposed to be on my side?" Mubo said, pouting.

"You don't have to pretend, Bo-ge, we know you're going to miss us," Peiyao said, a small grin on his face. Both Zimo and Zuo Ye looked at him with expectant faces, and Qin Fen smiled knowingly, squeezing his hand under the table. Mubo sighed.

"Fine, I might miss you a little bit," he grumbled. Zuo Ye looked like he might cry again. Mubo patted him on the shoulder.

"I think you should cry more over the fact that you'll be living with Zimo and Peiyao," he told the youngest. Zimo made an offended sound. Peiyao just looked like he might agree with Mubo. "If they become too much PDA you can always crash on our sofa."

Zuo Ye huffed. "Like you and Fen-ge are much better. If I need to get out, I can just crash at Xikan's place."

Zimo snorted at Mubo's offended face.

"And here I thought you were the only child that wouldn't hurt me like this. You've been spending to much time with Zimo and Peiyao."

"That's what you get for spending all your time with Qin Fen. I become independent," Zuo Ye said proudly, lifting his chin.

Mubo turned to Qin Fen, pouting.

"No, Zuo Ye is not living with us," Qin Fen said definitely.

"But I need to get him back on my side again," Mubo complained.

"You don't really want him living with us. No, don't do the thinking face. You just said that you were glad to be rid of them."

"Mubo cares more what Zuo Ye thinks of him than anything else," Peiyao chimed in, taking a sip from his glass.

"I've noticed," Qin Fen said, and Mubo pouted again.

"I really like you, Bo-ge, but please go be happy with your man," Zuo Ye said, reaching over so he could give Mubo an awkward half-hug across the table.

"Fine."

"You sound so happy about it," Qin Fen commented, sounding sarcastic. Mubo gave him a smile and intertwined their fingers under the table.

"The happiest."

He could practically see Qin Fen melting and he smiled when he leaned over to give him a kiss. Zimo did a disgusted sound in the background, but Mubo paid him no mind. He had gotten enough of Zimo and Peiyao's PDA to feel no remorse with paying them back. Qin Fen smiled against his lips and Mubo decided that he would never get tired of kissing him.

"I need to get a partner," Zuo Ye complained. "You guys are the worst. As the only single guy here I feel like I have a veto to put in against PDA."

"Boo, boring," Zimo said, leaning over so he could nuzzle Peiyao's neck. Peiyao, on the other hand, blushed and gently pushed Zimo off himself.

"Come on, let's be nice to Zuo Ye." He kicked Mubo under the table. "That applies to you two as well."

After that, the dinner was more or less eventless. They shared their best memories from the years they had lived together and Zuo Ye had made them desert. It was nice.

Mubo nuzzled closer to Qin Fen as they laid in their bed later that night, having carried up the last boxes, but not bothered to start unpacking anything. So, the bed stood in a sea of boxes and Mubo did not look forward to the morning when they would start unpacking everything. But for now, he was completely content.

"I can't believe we're finally living together," Qin Fen mumbled against Mubo's hair, stroking his back.

"I know," Mubo smiled back. Qin Fen leaned in for a kiss, and Mubo could feel nothing but happiness. This wasn't where he had thought he be over a year and a half ago when his professor told him about what he had to do for his final project. He hadn't thought that he would meet the love of his life.

"I love you," Qin Fen whispered against his lips.

"I love you too."