Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Chapter 1

“Are you nuts?!!” He yells down the phone.

“Why? What exactly is the problem Levi?”

“The PROBLEM?! You know exactly what my problem is shit brows, I doubt even you could be that stupid.”

“Of course I know, but what I also do happen to know is that you have been working under me for the last 18 months, and your longest contract to date lasted just under 3. Is that something you recall, or do you need to come by and have a look at all of the termination paperwork I’ve had to file in your stead?” Erwin says, while propping his legs up on his desk. Petra can bitch at him for it later.

It was true, in the last year and a half since working for his best friend and Ex-Comrade Erwin Smith as a Contracted Security Specialist, Levi had worked almost 40 different jobs.

Erwin’s company aptly named “The Recon Corps” was built upon Erwin’s medical dismissal - or “retirement” as he called it - from the Armed Forces due to the loss of his right arm, and specialised in sending highly skilled security personnel to work anything from permanent or part time contracts for high security buildings, banks, shopping malls or on rare occasions even high-profile individuals themselves, to day contracts escorting celebrities, politicians or even witness protection to their desired locations.

The work was vast and not always forgiving to someone like Levi, who certainly wasn’t the most talented when it came to interacting with people. Levi, at 34 years old, had already had a 14-year long career with the Army under his belt also. He joined the forces with Erwin as early as possible, straight out of high school despite the qualms the recruiting officers had on his height and was ranked Lance Corporal of his own squad in no time. In that time, he had proven himself as a fantastic fighter and a born leader, yet he could barely face social interaction of any sort, even with his own comrades and subordinates. Erwin, had been one of the few exceptions to that.

Levi sucks in an annoyed breath and continues drying his now spotless dishes, phone still haphazardly balanced between ear and shoulder before answering. “You know as well as I do that more than half of those contracts were temporary or fixed term work, so don’t give me that shit. And with that last one, I told you that retail security was boring as hell and I wouldn’t be there long.”

“Levi, you were dismissed for tackling that old lady and making several children cry.”

“She looked like she had a whole picnic set stuffed under her dress and wouldn’t stop when I questioned her about it! It’s not my fault she had an asthma attack…. And those “children” were at least 10 years old and made fun of how I look, you can’t expect me not to teach them a lesson if their shitty parents aren’t there to keep an eye on them. Kids should know better than to laugh at burn scars on a veteran.”

“Levi…” he can practically hear Erwin pinch the bridge of his nose in frustration “…that’s not the point and you know it.”

Levi sighs, putting his dish down and holding the phone in his right hand. He paces the floor of his small kitchen as he continues.

“I know Erwin…but you know I’m not suited to working with the public, I never have been.”

“Which is why I think this contract is perfect for you. It’s permanent, and unlike those department stores and supermarkets I’ve had you based in until now, you will only be working for one person and the hours will be long and varied, you’ll even be covered for re-housing, plus you will get to travel again. It’s exactly what you’ve been looking for all this time, I think it could be really good for you. I know you’ve been itching for some excitement and adrenaline since you’ve had trouble sleeping.”

“And what exactly is so exciting about babysitting some little fag…”

“Levi, don’t you dare!!!” Erwin warns down the phone before composing himself with a slightly stiff breath. “I know exactly what you think about gay people Levi, and I know why you do, don’t think I’m dismissing your feelings or your past here. But you have got to understand that the people that work here, your colleagues, not all of them are straight or of one race or religious background. And I shall treat them all fairly and with respect, the same as you, despite the fact I know what you went through back then…”

“Stop, just…stop please.” Levi breathes and pauses for a second. Two seconds. Attempting to block out the terrible, traumatic memories that the words are threatening to bring to the forefront of his mind.

“…is irrelevant. I would appreciate if you kept that kind of language away from a work conversation.” Erwin finishes.

“Whatever, fine. Remind me again why this kid needs me, and not someone like Petra or literally anyone else who is just as capable for the job as I am.” Levi moves to the comfort of his living room, setting himself on his well-worn armchair, as the traces of bubbling panic begin to recede on their own.

“The client is Eren Jaeger, Male, 21 years old. For the last 2 years Jaeger has been working as a drag artist on the club scene as a queen named “Rogue”. He is based at Maria’s which is a late-night LGBT lounge in his home town of Shiganshina and has his own YouTube channel “TheRogueJaeger”, it has a fairly decent following of loyal fans who call themselves “Jaegerbombs”. However, Jaeger recently got himself scouted and now has a contract with a reputable entertainment company who have also offered him a recording contract and a deal for a make-up line, with the possibility of a tv show in discussion. It’s going to make the boy very rich and famous indeed.”

“Okay, so the brat is gonna need some protection from Paparazzi and shitheads trying to sell him out on scandals then?” Levi asks semi-seriously.

“Partially, but not exactly.” Erwin continues “The thing is, Shiganshina and several other areas of the country have been targeted by hate crimes by an organisation that we know to be called ‘The Titans’. These crimes started out petty, such as hateful messages written outside LGBT bars and clubs, Maria’s being one of the venues targeted.”

“I’m guessing this organisation have become less ‘friendly’ and if I’m correct, probably linked to those shootings that happened a couple weeks ago?” Levi deduces.

“Bingo.” Erwin answers, “No less than 8 homosexual men were hospitalised at a Gay Bar here in Trost ,‘Wall Rose’. One of the men being Jaeger’s co-worker that was working the circuit and had just finished a show there. His name was Bertholdt Hoover, and he was killed that night, shot 5 times in the chest and once execution style in the head. The bullet type has currently been unidentifiable and each victim has had a different type of bullet removed their bodies, meaning the organisation have some form of access to artillery and ammunition. None of Titans have been identified as of yet.

“Fuck.” Is all Levi can say in response.

“Fuck indeed.” Erwin replies.

“Okay, I get all of this hate crime shit, and of course it’s tragic, but why does the kid need me exactly? We know he hasn’t been singularly targeted, and there is nothing to suggest that he even will be?”

“Regardless, his agent has been in contact and is adamant we send someone to escort him from now on and for his foreseeable schedule. She’s worried for his safety, and in my professional opinion I feel she has every right to be. You see, Jaeger hasn’t confirmed his new deal to the public as of yet and when he does…”

“He’ll become a target right away, if the Titans are looking to send a message, they’ll do it on the largest scale they can find, meaning they’ll need Jaeger.”

“This is why you’re needed Levi, you are far more skilled than anyone I know at hand to hand combat, you know weapons, and your intuition is stronger than the average personnel, if anyone can sniff out the Titans it’ll be you.”

“You’re making me sound like some kind of fucking dog Eyebrows.” Levi huffs, pouting slightly knowing he cannot be seen by his friend.

Erwin chuckles “You know what I mean, but in all seriousness, this is a fantastic opportunity for you Levi. And the boy will benefit from having you around also, as long as you can keep your opinions on his sexual preferences to yourself.”

Levi takes a moment to think before he answers, can he honestly take a job protecting a boy whose lifestyle is extremely abhorrent to him? In what is likely to be a highly sexualised environment knowing most fags can’t keep it in their pants…can he really watch those depraved acts all over again…? Will he be able to keep his disgust…his discomfort…his fear…all to himself?

“I don’t like this Erwin, and I’m not going to pretend I’m happy about it. But I’ll take the contract, and I promise I will be as professional as I can be considering the nature of the job and the consequences if I fail. Jaeger will be protected at all costs, even if it means endangering my own life in his place, as I would with any client regardless of gender, race, religion…. or sexual preference.”

Levi can almost feel Erwin’s Cheshire cat grin over the phone, “I’m happy to hear it Levi, I’ll email you the paperwork right away and I expect you in my office at 9am tomorrow to finalise the details. Then we can arrange for you to meet Eren Jaeger.”

Without another word he hangs up, and not for the first time, Levi can’t help but feel like he’s going to completely regret his life choices.

Chapter Text

Chapter 2

At 6.30am, Levi stands under the scalding hot shower, as he considers the inevitably long day ahead of him. Allowing himself a full 10 minutes rather than his usual 3 to 4. Due to his inability to sleep, he already had his morning work-out routine and can feel the rather now comforting burn of his muscles.

He met with Erwin in his office a mere 3 days ago to go over the details of his new job, and was given his licensed fire arms, his ear piece and wireless communicator, his new cell phone with all his previous contacts listed with only one additional entry: Annie Leonhart, Eren’s agent and personal assistant. He also received his hotel paperwork and the keys for a brand-new company car (he would happily sell his old Mini Cooper for a decent enough price) and made arrangements to move all of his belongings once he eventually became settled in a new home.

He would take a 10am flight to Shiganshina, where he would then meet with Annie to check in to his room, and hopefully meet Jaeger later that evening to discuss their expectations and what his schedule would look like in the upcoming weeks before Eren’s, and in turn Levi’s, lives would become hectic.

At 6.40am, Levi steps out of the shower, towels himself and his hair dry before grabbing his crisp white button-up shirt, cravat, black waist coat and black pin-stripe blazer and pants he wears for his more high-profile jobs and dresses himself.

****

The following hours pass without incident, and soon Levi finds himself stepping off the plane to a slightly higher climate than he is used to. It’s not an uncomfortable heat, rather a welcome one in fact, and Levi wastes no time in unbuttoning the first couple of buttons of his shirt and carrying his blazer over his arm.

As he makes his way through the arrival gate, he spots a young, tired looking woman with blonde hair in a messy bun and a sign with the name “Levi Ackerman” written in bold letters. She nods her head to him as he makes his way over to her.

“Annie Leonhart, I presume?” he asks politely, although there is really no need to ask. Why else would this woman be at the airport with his name written for all to see?

She nods again, “If you have everything, let’s get you checked in and we can talk properly. When do you have to pick up your car?”

“Not until tomorrow at least.”

“Okay, once we get everything done, I can take you to Maria’s later, you can meet Eren then. And I’ll take you in the morning to pick up your car.”

“Thank you, that’s very kind of you Ma’am.” Levi responds, remembering to be polite as per Erwin’s warning.

She shrugs, “Just Annie is fine.” She says and walks on ahead as Levi takes the time to assess the woman in front of him. She’s wearing a simple button-up shirt with the sleeves rolled up to hide little ink stains on the cuffs, a grey pencil skirt that she looks rather uncomfortable in and Levi can’t help but smirk at the slightly battered converse she has on her feet. Levi deduces that she has attempted to dress up and look professional, most likely at the instruction of somebody else.

He also speculates that she’s probably an old friend or relative of Jaeger, as there is no chance an up and coming celebrity would hire an agent with such disregard for their appearance. Not that there is anything wrong with her hygiene, she looks and smells rather fresh all things considered.

The drive to the hotel is short and silent, Annie isn’t one for small talk, there are no pointless questions like “did you have a nice flight?” or “have you been to Shiganshina before?”, which suits Levi just fine. Instead the silence is filled with some form of soft rock radio station and the occasional chiming of Levi’s phone with unanswered text messages from Hange. He makes a note to himself to remember to call her in the next few days.

Once Levi manages to check himself in for the next 2 weeks while he looks for an apartment, the undoubtedly large deposit for which will be generously paid for by The Recon Corps business account, Annie suggests they head out for a “lunch meeting” so Levi can be briefed and ask any burning questions on his mind.

It becomes clear, however, that Annie is definitely not well versed in fine dining. She has to look up “fancy restaurants” on her phone before driving around haphazardly for a while trying to find the place she thought appropriate. Taking pity on her and concluding she will be far more comfortable answering his questions if she’s in a more familiar setting, Levi has an idea…

“Hey, there’s a drive thru over there, I don’t know about you, but I’m really in the mood for a burger right about now. Why don’t we order food and just eat in the car over there.” He says pointing to the fairly empty parking lot.

Her eyes light up at the suggestion and she looks physically less tense now that she doesn’t have to keep up the, very poor, pretence that she has a clue what she’s doing.

“Really? Me too, let’s do that.” She says, already beginning to approach the drive thru, and while Levi would usually much rather stick pins in his eyes than eat with his hands in a car, he knows he’s made the right call.

Once they’ve received their order and parked up to eat, Annie chuckles slightly at the sight of Levi using a plastic knife and fork to eat from the box on his lap. But he can’t help but feel smug as she also spills a dollop of BBQ sauce on her pink shirt collar.

“So, what would you like to know?” she asks, while wiping her shirt with a napkin.

“I just need to know what you need me to do, what time Mr Jaeger expects me to be around? Do I need to drive him places? Do you need me to keep watch for anyone? Anything you think would be useful for me to know.”

“Well, Eren has a very active lifestyle, he doesn’t really wake up until early-afternoon because of his shows but he likes to go to the gym first thing, he’ll probably want you to accompany him there. He likes to swim, see his friends, but he’s mainly based at the club. He does about 3 or 4 shows a week, mainly weekends. He spends several hours deciding his look for the evening, his routine, then getting into make-up takes about an hour and a half alone. He decides his wardrobe at around 4pm, picks his wigs out based on the colour aesthetic he wants to convey or whatever he does, then shoes, shoes are important. As Eren says “If I don’t feel like I’m walking on top of the fucking world, then what’s the fucking point?”, that’s usually a stressful time of day. Then he’s gotta decide whether he wants to do comedy, dance, sing, all the above…word of advice, he’ll probably ask for your opinion on EVERY little detail then completely ignore you. it’s a long day for him. He’ll usually stay for a couple drinks after his set also.”

“Seriously? All of that for ONE show? I had expected he would want me to drive him around here, there and everywhere during the day and maybe get there about an hour before his set or whatever, not ask for my opinion on dresses and heels.”

“Oh no, Eren is extremely hard-working, bit of a work-a-holic really, he didn’t get picked up by his company out of sheer luck you know. Maria herself saw how much effort he was putting in and invited some talent scouts to come and see him perform as Rogue. It was a long process, but his hard work is finally paying off.”

“Who’s Maria?” Levi asks, still rather taken aback by Annie’s description of Eren’s day schedule before shows.

“Maria owns the lounge, she’s a drag queen too. Eren’s drag mother, meaning she put him in his first drag, not his actual mother. They’re like brothers now, his real name is Marco Bott. You’ll probably meet Maria later, she performs most nights, the lounge is always packed with people. She’s the nicest person you’ll ever meet, real southern charm” Annie smiles softly and Levi thinks she looks less tired when she does.

He takes a moment digest his food and Annie’s words, her use of pronouns confuses him slightly, but he feels it’s time to ask about Eren himself, as ultimately he’s the one he’ll eventually be working under.

“What is Mr Jaeger like? Uhh, Miss Jaeger? Mister? Eren, what is Eren like?” Levi manages.

“Well first, Eren only goes by She/Her when he is Rogue, any other time when he isn’t in drag, he’s He/Him. You’ll get used to it. Eren is very secure in his masculinity and proud, but he also makes a darn good woman and he knows it. Eren and Rogue are like two totally different people altogether. You’ll see what I mean.” She waves her hand in a dismissive gesture and collects their rubbish before stuffing it into the trash can next to the car.

“I don’t completely understand, but I imagine I will see for myself once we meet.”

Annie nods, “I’ve known him since middle school, he’s an amazing artist. I used to be so jealous of him before we were actually friends, he was just one of those people that could put a pen to paper and create something astounding, something out of nothing you know? Anyway, I not only found out how caring he was for the people in his life, but also that he was such a passionate person, messy, covered in stains, running late to class, his hair never in place, he was always wearing odd socks and then would cackle whenever you’d mention it to him. He was also incredibly hare-brained and hot-headed. I swear he was always in some fight, usually defending the honour of his friends. We all loved him for it, still do.”

“Sounds like some guy.” Levi says honestly, nodding at her words, visualising a scruffy art student with a goofy grin. Hange pops into his mind and he feels a surge of warmth for an instant.

“He really is, I actually dated his sister in middle school, that’s how we met.” She says matter of fact.

“I see, so…you’re a gay too then? Figures I guess.” Levi asks with a scoff.

She looks at him sharply, and Levi knows immediately that he’s made a mistake, he’s such an idiot. He just HAD to make a snide joke on his first day. Erwin is going to kill him when she inevitably files a report against him.

“Not that it’s any of your business, but no, I’m bisexual and engaged to a man now. Eren is gay however, and if his sister hears you talking like that you can expect a full-scale screaming match at the very LEAST. Just warning you now.” She shrugs, sipping her drink nonchalant.

Levi looks at her in disbelief, “I didn’t mean to cause offence, to be perfectly honest I just…I’m not quite sure how to act around…gay people. It’s just…bad experiences... In fact, forget it.” Levi replies, head lowered in discomfort, unsure of why exactly he’s stuttering in front of this woman who’s currently staring at him with bored eyes.

“Well, it’s not hard to tell that you’re not exactly well versed in our world. But you may want to stay away from referring to us as a separate species.” She looks at him with a small but unmistakeable smirk.

“Duly noted.” He nods, head still lowered, feeling well and truly scolded.

“Okay, let’s forget about that, it’s nearly 4, do you need to pick anything up or are you happy for us to head straight to Maria’s?” she asks.

Levi pauses for a moment to think, before concluding he may as well get meeting his new boss over and done with, “No, I’m fine, let’s go.”

Annie nods and starts the car, addressing him once more without looking at him.

“Mr Ackerman, what I would like you to remember is that despite your feeling on our lifestyle, and despite what Eren may say or do that will no doubt piss you off, he agreed for us to hire you for more reasons than you can probably understand right now. He is angry at the Titans for what they’re doing to young people in the community, for how they are making them feel and the hurt they are causing. He’s also grieving for the losses and injuries at Wall Rose those weeks ago as some of them were his friends, and the drag queen that was killed? That was his drag sister, and one of my best friends. But more than anything, he is scared. His career is about to take off and he’ll be alone in the spotlight…he sees that as a massive red dot on his head, ready to be fired.” She pauses, takes a shaky breath and begins again, this time looking straight at Levi.

“I don’t know you Mr Ackerman, I don’t know anything about you except that you are the best in what you do and you come highly recommended. So, I am trusting you to keep him safe. And if you cause him any more unnecessary hurt with your thoughts and opinions, you’ll have far more than just me to answer to.”

“Understood, I give you my word, and please, call me Levi.”

“Alright, Levi, let’s go see Eren.” She says as the car starts to move.

Chapter Text

Chapter 3

The drive to Maria’s Lounge is thankfully not too long and once again relatively silent, except for Annie’s few enquiries on his time in the Military while studying the burn scars that frame the outer side of his left eye, the same radio station as before playing in the background.

Levi has managed to commit most of the route to memory by the time Annie pulls in to the lounge parking lot. The venue from the outside is not much to look at, but Levi can clearly see the attempts to wash off the “God hates faggots” and “Homos go to hell” written in white spray paint on the wall.

The large “Maria’s” sign is currently un-lit, and the main entrance is barred from the outside, Annie informs him they’ll enter through the backdoor, and Levi can’t help but see the funny side to that statement.

The inside of the lounge in contrast, massive and practically screams old Hollywood glamour. The main lights are dimmed, and there are two large white spotlights pointing at the stage which is hidden by fine purple silk curtains. There are 3 large crystal chandeliers casting a heavenly glow of sparkles around the room and Levi feels the illusion of being transported back to the 1950s.

There are dark, wooden tables with high-backed stools, with a single candle in the middle. A cosy area for friends to chat and watch the show together with perfect views of the stage wherever they are situated. The bar has a large glass back panel lit with lime green and is stacked with bottles and bottles of liquor and wines that Levi has never even heard of, never mind seen all in the same room before.

With a loud clearing of her throat, Levi’s attention is brought back to Annie.

“Eren will be backstage in the dressing room, you should come and meet him now. Don’t worry, you’ll be back on this side of the stage later tonight, you can have a proper look around then.” She says with a teasing glance, before walking towards what Levi assumes is the dressing room. Without a word, he follows her.

To put it lightly, the dressing room looks like someone has vomited rainbows all over the place, Levi can’t bring himself to follow Annie all the way inside.

There are masses of clothes and shoes EVERYWHERE, much to Levi’s horror. There are racks of clothing literally spread out and thrown on to the floor, their hangers misshapen or broken. There are patches of glitter decorating the floorboards in no real discernible pattern, as if bags of the stuff have randomly exploded in tandem and been forgotten about. There are singular high heels of all styles, colour and sizes scattered around the room, Levi would guess just by looking at them, that the owner had been rifling through some form of collection and throwing them aside when deemed unfit for purpose. The madness of fabric and make-up surrounds a massive dressing table with a large mirror blocking the view of the person currently sitting at it. A pair of long tan legs clad only in red, thigh high fishnet stockings are visible to Levi.

Annie looks to be unphased by the chaos, as if this is an everyday occurrence, and going by her earlier description of Eren Jaeger, Levi supposes that it just in fact might be.

Suddenly, the person leans over, and a head appears next to the mirror. Whatever Levi had been expecting, it had certainly not been a young man with two different coloured eyes, wearing a wig cap with dark lines drawn all over his face.

“Annie! There you are my love, I can’t find my red boots. You know the latex ones with the platform heels that make my ass look great?” The strange man says, grabbing a make-up brush and brushing the lines on his forehead vigorously.

“Can’t help you Eren, I just got back from picking up your new security guy.” Annie says, thumbing in Levi’s general direction.

Eren leans over further and spots Levi for the first time, his eyes brightening and thick lips forming into a genuine smile, “Oh hey handsome, didn’t see you all the way over there.” Eren sets the brush down and makes his way over to where Levi is standing. Levi notices Eren is not wearing shoes and already stands at least 3 inches taller than himself, he can’t help but wonder how it’ll feel when Eren/Rogue does finally settle on a pair of high heels for the evening.

“I’m Eren Jaeger, please excuse my nakedness, I forgot I was expecting company today.” Eren says as he holds out a hand with a light nervous giggle, he is only wearing a fluffy pink dressing gown which reaches just above his thigh high stockings.

“Levi Ackerman” he responds taking Eren’s hand with a firm shake and curt nod, Eren’s fingernails are painted black.

“Ackerman huh? Just like my Mikasa. Anyway, you look something that’s stepped straight out of a James Bond movie, where did we find you? Recon Corps, right? That’s based not far from Trost. So, you’ll have had to have moved here to Shiganshina recently? How are you finding it?” Eren rattles through his questions, leaving Levi no time to even ask who this ‘Mikasa’ is.

“Yes sir, I relocated just this morning. I’m still waiting for my things to be transferred, but I’m pretty much here to stay from today. Whatever you need, I’m at your service.” Levi answers with perfect articulation and politeness.

Eren brushes Levi’s shoulder lightly, “So formal, I almost creamed my panties! You don’t have to call me sir you know, just Eren will do or Rogue while I’m working. I mean, unless you would rather call me sir. And at my service too? I think I could think of a few jobs for you to do.” Eren winks and boops Levi on the nose. The last person that even attempted to do that in Levi’s adult life, ended up with a broken finger…

“Oh believe me, SIR” Levi says pointedly, “I think I would much rather call you Eren, or perhaps Shitty Brat will do. And I retract my last statement, I will only carry out the jobs you assign, to the best of my abilities, when I deem them worthy of my time.” He folds his arm as he ends his sentence with a scowl.

Annie’s eyes widen comically and Eren is silent for all of 3 seconds before cackling loudly, “Oh Levi, I think you and I are going to get on just fine. And don’t worry, I know I can make my tasks worth your while.” Eren says finally before sauntering off to complete his make-up.

Annie is shaking her head in exasperation and begins to sort through Eren’s mass collection of shoes. Seriously, how can one person have so many? At the bottom of the pile, Levi spots the heel of a huge red boot that matches Eren’s description and shortly finds the second one in less than a minute later.

He holds the boots up into Eren’s view and the boy beams at him in delight “Yes! Perfect! Look at you earning your pay check already. I think I’ll keep you around handsome.”

“Well, it seems I’m not needed anymore, so if you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna go make some important and very boring phone-calls.” Annie says slightly amused before turning to leave the room.

“Annie sweetheart, you know you’re the love of my life!” Eren shouts after her.

“Mhm” she deadpans.

Eren grins at her back as she leaves.

“So Levi tell me, what experience do you have in the field? Annie and Mikasa tell me you’re the best in the business. But I’d like to know for myself, enlighten me if you will.” Eren requests while applying a thin layer of eyeliner to his water line. Levi is so focused on the precision Eren possesses that he almost misses the change in atmosphere at the enquiry.

Levi snaps out of his reverie, “I have 14 years military service, 10 of which I served as a Lance Corporal of my own team. We were specialist trained for hostage negotiation and survival. Since retiring from the forces, I have worked under my previous Commander Erwin Smith as a Contracted Security Specialist. I have had many contracts over the past 18 months, but none of which have remained permanent.”

“Why do you think that is?” Eren asks, genuinely curious.

“I just haven’t found the right job yet. The military was great, I spent an amazing time of my life there, I made lifelong friends, learned skills that have saved my ass and countless others more times than I can count, and gained the confidence I had been lacking as a young man, but it was time to go and it was the right decision. Even so, I still haven’t found the right path for my life moving forward.”

“Wow! it sounds like you had such a fulfilling time as a Lance Corporal, and I have learned that in life one must do what makes them happiest regardless of what other people think. Which begs the question, why did you decide to leave?” Eren blinks at him with bright multi-coloured eyes that are burning with such curiosity, that Levi can’t even think about denying them.

“There was an incident, a hostage situation where my team and I went to investigate thinking it would be an easy one to resolve, and that we would be done within the night. I was horribly wrong, and my mistake changed my life and the lives of my squad, in a terrible way. After it all happened, and when I could finally review my choices of how to carry on, I decided I just couldn’t do it anymore. I couldn’t risk putting anybody through that again, I couldn’t risk putting myself through that again. As selfish as that sounds.” Levi looks at Eren once again, to find him staring, inquisitive and a hint of understanding showing on his face.

“Did that happen during the incident you mentioned?” Eren inquires, gesturing to Levi’s burns with a highlighting brush.

Levi touches at the faded scarring on his face left what feels to be a lifetime ago by third degree burns and nods an affirmative. Eren gives him a soft smile that is without pity, much to Levi’s relief.

“Why am I telling you all of this anyway?” Levi asks confused by what just occurred, “I don’t talk about this shit with just anyone…”

“I don’t know, but I don’t mind listening, not at all. But don’t look so worried now, here’s what I’ll do; you’ve shared quite a lot with me at my request, so I’ll permit you to ask me a few questions too and I’ll return the favour. I promise to be just as candid as you’ve been with me this evening.”

Levi ponders Eren’s offer with interest, feeling his own curiosity of the younger man building, “You’d do that? Tell me anything I’d ask of you? Why would you do that when your career is on the line? When your life is potentially in danger and any leak of information could cost you dearly?”

“You’ve been very honest with me and believe me when I say I appreciate that shit more than anything any one person can offer. Honesty is what I value more than anything else in the world, so I fully intend to repay that.” Eren says around applying a decent amount of red lipstick, “But unfortunately, it will have to wait for another day. I have to find a wig and decide on my dress for this evening.” He grins cheekily, pearly white teeth poking out to chew lightly on his newly bright red lip.

“Understood, Mr Jaeger.” Levi nods, moving to take his space back next to the door as Eren rolls his eyes at the title.

Just as Levi arrives at his spot, there is a deep voice coming from the hallway, chatting away with a much quieter crowd. Eren picks up on it also, and yells.

“REINER YOU COCKSUCKER! PUT YOUR SHITTY MOUTH TO BETTER USE AND CHECK MY FUCKING MIC ALREADY!”

The voice turns to that of booming laughter and Levi unwittingly lets out an incredibly attractive snort. Eren giggles as he picks up numerous dresses and goes to change behind a large blue curtain.

And for the first time, Levi questions the madness he’s stepped in to, but is not at all certain that he completely hates it.

Chapter Text

Chapter 4

“Levi! What do you think? Which one looks better?” Eren asks a bit frazzled. In his hands, he is holding up a red, cocktail dress with sparkling sequins worthy of Jessica Rabbit herself, and a red, velvet, halter neck evening gown with a slit all the way down the left-hand side.

“I can assure you I have no idea, sir.” Levi answers perfectly poised with both hands held behind his back.

“Come on! Surely one of these gets your blood all boiling in a good way.” Eren wiggles his eyebrows suggestively.

“They most certainly do not!” Levi sputters incredulously and Eren huffs loudly, before a burly blond man knocks on the door and makes his entrance.

“Rogue sweetie, your mic stand is all set up and your microphone has been checked, you’re good to go.”

“Reiner, you are amazing. I love you, I’d kiss you right now if I hadn’t just done my make-up….and you know, you weren’t completely repulsive to me.” Eren states with a wink.

“Oof! You wound me with your scathing words Rogue, I just don’t know if we can ever recover.” Reiner clutches his chest dramatically.

“You know I love you really.” Eren amends, beginning to step into the cocktail dress in full view of both men. Levi notices that Eren is wearing an incredibly tight looking corset, tan in colour and cinching his waist into a perfect hourglass figure, before pulling the dress up over his shoulders and looking into the full-length mirror to his right.

Meanwhile, Reiner acknowledges Levi’s presence for the first time.

“Oh hey man! Sorry about that, I’m Reiner…” he holds out his massive, meaty hand and grasps Levi’s much smaller, but just as powerful one in a firm shake “I’m Eren’s friend and I work here too, I do a few things round here but you’ll probably find me tending the bar later on tonight.” He says with a friendly smile.

“I’m Levi, I shall be working here as Eren’s personal security from now on.” Levi introduces himself with an unwavering authority, not allowing Reiner’s imposing height and build have an affect on his words, despite being so much smaller. Even so, he still fully expects Reiner to laugh at him, at a mere 5 foot 3 how can he expect this 6-foot-tall plus, hulk of a man to take him seriously?

“Oh shit!” Reiner exclaims, “You’re the GUY! Levi Ackerman, right?! It’s such an honour to meet you sir, I’ve heard all about your recommendation from The Recon Corps. I actually took the liberty of looking you up myself when Annie mentioned it, your resume is hella impressive if I may say so myself, sir. The work you have done over this last decade is so incredibly admirable.” Reiner says, still clutching Levi’s hand and now bursting with emotion that Levi can’t quite place.

“Reiner! I told you not to go snooping around!” Eren snaps, hands now firmly on his sequin covered hips. Levi looks between then in visible confusion.

Reiner ignores him and continues, “I can’t thank you enough for agreeing to come here, sir. No doubt with you around to protect Eren, we’ll all feel just a little bit safer.” Reiner finally releases Levi and looks sheepishly at Eren, who is regarding Reiner with a raised eyebrow.

“Sorry Eren.” Reiner says softly, to which Eren replies, “You promised me.”

“I know and I’m sorry, tell you what? I’ll make you your favourite drink for a whole week, as soon as you’re off stage it’ll be in your hand!” Reiner offers hopefully.

Eren keeps his composure for several seconds before sighing, “Fine, but two drinks a night! AND you help me pick my outfit for this evening.”

Levi watches the exchange curiously but remains silent throughout.

“It’s a deal! Now what have you got to work with?” Reiner asks, finally eyeing the dress covering Eren’s slim frame, and the one still in his hand.

“It’s between these two dresses, I asked Levi but he’s refusing to give me his opinion.” Eren pouts.

“I’m not refusing my opinion, sir. I simply don’t have an opinion on them to start with.” Levi assures.

“Oh, don’t give me that hot stuff, there’s gotta be something here that gets your dick hard.” Eren argues.

Levi is about to respond indignantly, when Reiner cuts in first with a mocking laugh.

“Pffft, and that’s coming from the kid that’s never even had his dick touched by anyone in his whole life? Good one.”

“Watch it Braun, or you’ll be leaving the room with this jammed up your asshole!” Eren says, holding up the heel of his bright red boot, “Actually, scratch that, I’m forgetting you’ve had much bigger shit up there. You would probably enjoy it far too much for my liking. And anyway, just because I’m a blushing virgin doesn’t mean I don’t know what I like.” He finishes, smirking.

“You know me so well sweetie, and you’re right, so while we’re at it…” Reiner regards the outfits once more before pointing to the red evening gown, “Put that on instead, it emphasises your legs and the boots will make them look killer. But be sure to pad your ass more or it’ll get lost completely!”

“That’s what I thought, I’ll go change in a sec. How much time do I have?”

“You have just over two hours to go.” Reiner answers, and Levi checks his watch. 8.45pm, literal hours have passed in what feels like a flash since he met Eren, “Maria goes on at 10 o’clock and she wants you dressed and ready to go by then so you’re not running around last minute, AGAIN. It’s Friday night, so the crowd are bound to get a little bit rowdy if their headliner decides on a full outfit change 15 minutes before curtain call.”

“That was only once or twice!” Eren protests.

“Three times actually.”

“Okay, maybe it was three, but I promised Maria it wouldn’t happen again and I’m sticking to it, sexy boy scouts honour.” Eren assures with a salute.

Reiner rolls his eyes, “As fun as this is, I need to get back to work. Break a leg kid, or both, give someone else a chance up there.” Eren sticks his tongue out at him, ever the grown up.

“And Levi, once again, it’s been an absolute pleasure to meet to you. Come by the bar for a drink if you have the time.” Levi thinks he’s going to try and shake his hand again, but Reiner simply pats him on the shoulder and leaves the room with a simple “See ya!”.

“You should probably head out as well Levi, I’ll just be getting changed and cussing at my wig for the next 30 minutes anyway. You should try meeting people, gaining intel or whatever it is you do.” Eren waves his hand in a vague gesture.

“I will, but first, excuse me for speaking out of turn sir, but what was all that about with Reiner? Him looking me up and his whole…attitude towards me? You seem to have a good idea as to why and I’d like to know for myself.” Levi queries, professional as ever.

Eren groans and slumps ever so slightly before answering, “I’m sorry about that, I made him promise he wouldn’t. You see the thing is, Reiner is a drag performer also, one of my drag sisters in fact, but he’s taking an extended break from the stage for now. You know that queen that was killed in Trost recently? Collosus?” Levi nods and Eren continues, “That was Reiner’s boyfriend, they weren’t officially together for too long, but they’d been dancing around each other for years. As long as I’ve known them actually, they were Annie’s best friends back in middle school.” Levi remembers Annie referring to Bertholdt as one of her best friends in the car and that she’d dated Eren’s sister, so it makes sense for them all to have known eachother back then.

“Reiner was heartbroken when it happened, and he still is, but he’s a toughie and likes to just throw himself back into work. We’ve all taken it hard, but he and Annie have definitely suffered the most. So, when Annie mentioned that I was looking to hire someone for my security and protection, he got a bit overly excited. He’s been a bit fixated with the idea that you’ll somehow unmask the Titans and bring justice for Bertl and those boys that were injured that night.”

Levi lets that information sink in, since when was it decided he’d be some sort of vigilante saviour for the gays of Shinganshina? Sure, he was now employed as a personal bodyguard for a soon to be famous drag queen, but that situation is strange enough without adding the whole fucking rainbow community to the mix while they’re at it.

“Look kid, I don’t know what he, or even you, think this is, but I’m no hero or whatever. I’m simply here as I’m being paid to keep you safe and secure. You have the money to burn with your new contract or whatever, and I have the skills needed to ensure nobody harms even a hair on your big pile of wigs. That’s it, no more, no less. And if it means I do manage to take down some of those murdering Titan bastards in the process, then so be it. But it’ll be because I’m contractually bound to do so, not as a favour to you, or any of your people.” Levi finishes, face scrunched in a grimace at the thought.

“MY people??” Eren frowns before understanding registers in his eyes, “Ahh, I get it now, you’re just like THEM. You don’t see us as actual people.” It’s a statement, not a question, “You don’t look at me and see a person, you see a circus clown. You look at men holding hands in the street and sneer in disgust at the sight of their love. You see women kiss their girlfriends in shopping malls, envious and offended that they aren’t willing to take anything you’ll offer either of them.” Levi says nothing, as while Eren’s words were not completely true (Levi usually kept his disgust to himself or at least quiet and didn’t actually care enough to want a partner anyway to feel jealous of anyone) the conclusion remained correct.

“I recognise your type, and you’ll be happy to know that I couldn’t give a flying fuck what you think anyway, I’ve fried much bigger homophobic fish than you in my time. Annie will be picking up my sister Mikasa, so why don’t you head back out there, and start mingling with some of MY people for now? Okay, bye bye.” Eren disappears once again behind his curtain and Levi knows he’s been dismissed for now.

***

As Levi walks around the distance of the lounge for the first time tonight, surveying all of the security systems and fire exits on his way, he can’t help but feel very out of place in his three-piece suit and cravat.

The lounge itself, in contrast to Levi’s original impression of old Hollywood, actually gives off the vibe of a night club when all of the colourful lights are lit. The music is pounding and there are smoke machines releasing blasts of fresh smoky air every so often without warning.

The patrons of Maria’s look very comfortable however, walking around with their brightly coloured ensembles with fruity and alcoholic drinks in their hands, many of whom are covered from head to toe in glitter, or have little rainbows painted on their faces. Levi also sees there are a few people who look to have come in drag, but Levi doesn’t want to assume they’re not Transgender or otherwise transitioning. Not to avoid causing offence, but rather to simply keep his sanity intact for the night.

The pulsing of the ongoing beat stops as the DJ, a man with a headset and a shaved head, announces its time for everyone to pay attention to the stage and welcome Maria. The crowd go wild with applause and cheers, as a young looking woman in an sleevleess, elegant, silver evening gown and matching high heels appears from behind the purple curtain on stage.

She wears her hair in a dark brown, wavy, up-do and her eyelids are covered in smoky black and grey, her cheeks contoured to look as if they could cut glass, and a light pink sheen paints her smiling lips. There are freckles splattered all over her relatively pretty face and Levi notices her tell-tale Adam’s apple hidden behind a thick, jewelled choker.

With a short, welcoming greeting to her adoring audience, a familiar jazz instrumental begins to play and Maria, starts to sing. Her voice is like molten gold, smooth and exquisite. Like a breeze on a summer’s day. The crowd’s cheers and whooping dissipate, until there is nothing left but a few wolf whistles and singing along to the song that Levi can’t quite name. Levi decides to continue his journey around the lounge, as Maria starts singing to individual members of the audience.

On probably his fourth time circling the entire area, Levi is beckoned over with a pointer finger by a man sitting on his own at a table near the bar area, nursing a half empty bottle of beer.

Levi looks the man up and down, and notes that he is dressed in a dark navy suit with a silver tie. His two-tone hair is worn in an undercut style very different from Levi’s own, with his short brown hair topped with perfectly coiffed blond curls. He has a slightly longer shaped face and looks just as out of place as Levi himself.

“Can I help you with something?” Levi asks, not really in the mood to be hit on or challenged by some smug, gay, horse-faced looking bastard.

“Well, I couldn’t help but notice you’ve been pacing around the club for the last 45 minutes.” The man replies, with a hint of derision in his voice.

“And? What’s it to you?” Levi folds his arms in defence, feeling like he is bound to be challenged tonight.

“I assumed you required some form of help, seeing as you definitely don’t look like the average customer and have been eyeing all of the security cameras each time you pass them. So, if you’re planning some sort of disruption tonight, I would suggest you leave as I am trying to watch the show and an evacuation is the last thing I need right now.” The man says before taking a long swig of his beer.

“I don’t look like the average customer? And what about you dip-shit? Have you seen how you’re dressed? You don’t look like you belong in some back alley backdoor club. How do I know you aren’t the one planning the disruption and this isn’t all a big ruse to distract me?” Levi questions haughtily.

“Because my name is Jean Kirstein, I co-own this back alley backdoor club as you put it, I know all the security staff and that you are definitely not one of them, and that…” he points to the main stage, “...happens to be my queen up there.” Levi looks up to see Maria belting out a high note of a ballad he doesn’t know. “So, if anybody is here to cause trouble, it’s definitely not me.” Jean smirks smugly at Levi’s gaping expression.

“My apologies Mr Kirstein, I didn’t mean to cause offence, it’s been a long day is all.” Levi bows his head, and Jean raises an eyebrow, “My name is Levi Ackerman, I’m working as private security for Mr Jaeger.”

“Ahh” Jean exclaims suddenly “That’s right, he mentioned he was hiring someone externally, which means you’ll have spent the day with the kid already? No wonder you’re in a pissy mood, my Marco has been friends with him for about 5 years now and I still wanna wring his neck more often than I’d like to admit. No harm done.” He says with an understanding nod.

With a final address to the crowd, Maria announces that her set for the evening is over and that Rogue shall be ready to grace the stage within the next 15 minutes. Jean is standing and applauding before yelling “We love you Maria!”. The audience cheers even louder than before and Maria laughs shouting “I love you too!” into her mic, looking only at the grinning man in front of Levi. And with that, she makes her final bow and disappears off stage. The music begins to pulse loudly once more.

“Sorry about that…” Jean begins, “…where were we? You said you’re working for Eren now then?”

“Yes sir, that’s correct.” Levi answers, before being told to address the man as “Jean” as “Sir” makes him feel far too old.

“So, you’ll have been informed of what’s been happening with these so-called “Titans” then I imagine?” Jean inquires, playing around with his now empty Beer bottle.

“Yes, and I’ve already been acquainted with Annie and Reiner, so I know all about what happened with Bertholdt…uhh Collusus…and Mr Jaeger himself told me all about what everyone is hoping for me to do.” Levi remarks.

“And what would that be Mr Ackerman?” Jean asks, looking Levi right in the eye.

“For me to babysit Eren Jaeger, make sure he’s safe. And try to gloriously take down these Titans in a shower of bullets so there can be love, rainbows and justice for all?” Levi scoffs, and Jean chuckles.

“That’s what you’ve been told, or at least that’s what’s been hinted by Annie and Reiner I imagine. But that’s not the whole story Mr Ackerman, this isn’t a simple protect and serve kind of mission you’re facing now.”

“What do you mean by that?” Levi asks genuinely confused by the turn in conversation.

“Am I correct in saying you met Eren for the first time today?” Jean questions, face impassive.

“Yes that’s correct, I flew in to Shiganshina this morning and met Eren here this afternoon.” Jean nods at this answer and responds.

“I’m going to try and be as clear as possible here, just stop me if you have any questions. But Mr Ackerman, I can assure you that you have not yet met Eren Jaeger. From the moment Eren stepped foot into his dressing room this afternoon, he’ll have been in Rogue mode. And Rogue and Eren are very different individuals indeed, you following so far?”

Levi agrees affirmatively, “I believe Annie said something similar earlier today.”

“Rogue is Eren’s alter ego, she’s a cutting bitch that knows how to make people laugh, and he wears her almost like armour, like a battlesuit. Rogue gives him stability, an outlet for his passion…and for his aggression.You see, Eren has always been the type to punch first, think later and a couple months ago we had a group of protestors break their way in to the lounge. They were the ones that wrote those horrible messages on the walls.”

Levi remembers seeing the white painted slurs decorating the outside of the building.

“Most of them were reasonably calm, handing out flyers and reciting passages of the bible to couples who were just trying to enjoy themselves. They caused a lot upset that night, but there was one guy in particular, a muscly man with tattoos and a skin head. He went too far and tried attacking two young men for being too “affectionate” to each other, he said it was deviant and god would forgive him for making them repent for their sins. Eren was furious, and despite Mikasa doing her best to stop him, he leapt right off stage and started punching the guy black and blue, high heels and all. By the time he was done there wasn’t one bit of unmarked skin left on the man.

There were bruises, puncture wounds and even bite marks covering his body. And when Eren was asked about it, he said he didn’t even remember doing it. We almost had a lawsuit on our hands, but with Eren’s denial that he could have possibly beaten a man to almost an inch of his life, and the regulars that were here refusing to give evidence, he got away with it.”

Levi is left with sheer disbelief, and has a hard time picturing the smirking, flirty boy from the dressing room he’d been in a mere hour or two ago, beating a fully built man to a pulp in front of a full crowd of people. But Levi couldn’t deny there was an undoubtable fire in the boy’s mismatched eyes when he was lecturing Levi on his unwanted opinions.

“He’s always been a suicidal bastard, getting into fights for no reason, throwing his fists around when somebody looked at him the wrong way or because it was Tuesday, or whatever his dumbass reason was each time.” Jean spits out, handing his empty beer bottle to a passing waitress.

“Are you trying to tell me that Eren should be considered dangerous?” Levi asks rolling his eyes, “That I should be watching my back? I’m a grown ass man. I think I can take care of myself just fine with a hot-headed brat with shit for brains.”

“No Levi, I’m merely informing you of an incident which occurred not too long ago, one that could have ruined his life completely except he got lucky and the people involved weren’t even close with him. Now, there’s a fully-fledged hate organisation out looking for blood, and they’ve already claimed the life of one his sisters. Eren is about to be thrust into the eye of the public, so this time, if he finds himself facing a Titan and he loses control, there will be nowhere for him to hide.”

“You mean to tell me then Jean, that you’re not convinced I’m here to protect Eren solely from the Titans?” Levi supplies, “You think I’m also here to protect Eren from himself.”

“Precisely…” Jean answers with a rueful smile “Despite what you may believe, I’m not telling you any of this so you’ll want to quit. As much as the kid can really grate on my nerves, I’m still very fond of him and couldn’t bear to see anything bad happen to him. So, think of this as a head start in a way, so you’re not thrown in blindly at the deep end. Eren has a funny way of doing that to people.”

Before Levi can say anything further, the pulsing cuts out and the buzz cut DJ takes the mic once more and introduces the act they’ve all been waiting for. Levi can barely hear the music begin to play over the deafening applause and whoops from the audience.

And as Levi looks up, and the curtain is drawn, he knows that he is without a doubt truly in the presence of Rogue.

Chapter Text

Chapter 5

The roars of excitement as Rogue steps out past the silky curtain are almost deafening, and Levi can’t quite bring himself to look away from the tall, statuesque woman that’s decided to finally grace the rowdy patrons with her presence.

Her massive, pointed, platform heeled boots click on the stage with every step she takes, her golden head of thick blonde curls fall in waves that reach just above her shoulders, and a bare leg of caramel coloured skin is poking tantalisingly through the slit of the elegant gown that Levi had, only a couple of hours prior, watched her scrutinise with sharp, calculating eyes. Multi-coloured eyes of green and gold that had once burned like fire, now calmed under matching, ocean blue contact lenses. Her flawless skin, from top to bottom, looks to be covered in a shimmering glitter like substance.

Levi’s head had been racing all day as if in a kaleidoscope filled with brand-new information to comprehend, new faces to memorise and a whole new lifestyle to adapt to. However, his conscious mind was rapidly becoming clearer, the edges of his vision no longer clouded in sharp pain and his whole thought process was halted with the abrupt realisation that there was now actually only one, very singular thought running through his mind.

‘This woman, right in front of me, is the single most stunning creature I have ever laid eyes on.’

The enthralling beauty has him caught in a whirlwind of feelings and sensations he had long since forgotten about, not even his own fantasies could have ever conjured something so mesmerising, and he is fully aware that he is staring.

Rogue approaches the mic stand and grabs the crystal encrusted microphone before beginning to sing a well-known 90s feel good song, her powerful yet very clearly autotuned voice filling the speakers of the cosy lounge. The dancefloor also begins to fill quickly with groups of friends dancing together in large circles, couples sensually moving together to the beat as one, and the throngs of singletons rushing towards the front, so they can take photos or film Rogue on their cell phones.

Levi is brought out of his slight trance by a deep, heavily southern accented voice addressing him directly.

“Beautiful, ain’t she?” The voice to his right asks, and Levi looks over to find that Maria has joined him and Jean (whom he had briefly forgotten about) at their table. Maria is looking at him with amused eyes and a bright smile that reminds him ever so slightly of his friend Petra, and although Maria is nowhere near as striking as Rogue in his opinion, Levi must admit that she is still rather attractive in her own right.

That is, if he were into men wearing dresses recreationally to even begin thinking of one as “attractive”. Levi shakes his head mentally, this is all so bizarre.

Jean has a lazy arm wrapped around Maria’s waist and they are sitting close together, a brand new bottle of beer sitting on the table in front of each of them, and to Levi’s surprise, a tall glass of water with a lemon wedge has been placed in front of himself as well. He has to wonder how long he had been staring intently at the stage for the arrival of Maria and three drinks to escape his notice.

“Cat got your tongue cutie pie?” he hears and remembers he has yet to properly acknowledge the club owner for the first time. Jean is paying no interest to their exchange, sipping his beer and watching Rogue’s performance with reasonable interest. Maria, on the other hand, is still smiling with an unwavering friendliness, the likes of which Levi hasn’t encountered in a very long time.

Levi takes a sip of his water and clears his throat, for some reason he feels the compelling need to look unphased and unwavering in front of the drag queen, still patiently waiting for his response.

“Ahh yes, she is rather lovely.” Levi finally states before adding, “I also very much enjoyed your singing Miss Maria, you are incredibly talented I must say.” In all honesty, he hadn’t been paying that much attention to Maria’s set through his conversation with Jean, but he feels in this instance, flattery is bound to make a good first impression.

Jean, however, doesn’t miss Levi’s trick for a second and coughs out an audible “Kiss Ass”.

Maria’s grin becomes impossibly wider before she takes a sip of her own beer and turns to Jean with a playfully stern look.

“Sweetheart, I hope you have taken the time to offer your hospitality to Mr Ackerman here.” ‘So, she knows who I am’, he notes, no need for another awkward introduction on Levi’s part, “Have you offered to show him around the place? Or to introduce him to our security staff? Or even for Sasha to make him something decent to eat? He’s had a long trip and a tiring day no doubt, I would have thought you would have known better than to just sit there on your lazy ass while Eren’s guest is left to fend for himself.” Jean’s face has gone awfully red and he begins sputtering some almost inaudible excuses, before Levi has had enough entertainment to come to his aid.

“Miss Maria, you can just call me Levi. And not to worry, I had already taken it upon myself to have a proper look around a few times before I got talking with Mr Kirstein, and he’s been very helpful thus far.” Levi locks eyes with Jean, the pair sharing a knowing glance before he continues, “As for the security team, that can wait for now, this place is pretty busy as is and I would hate to take anyone away from their post unnecessarily. And in terms of food, I had a decent lunch today already and my appetite isn’t all that big to begin with so there’s honestly no need. Plus I’m Eren’s employee not a guest, I wouldn’t want to impose.”

“Nonsense!” Maria exclaims, “When Annie said backstage that you guys picked up some take-out food from some god-awful drive thru, I almost had a heart attack. Seriously, I could have died.” She raises her perfectly polished pointer finger to his face “Employee or not, you’re not leaving here without having a proper feed, I won’t accept it. It ain’t the Southern way!” Levi has to supress a snort as Jean silently mouths the last 5 words as Maria says them with a roll of his eyes, it’s obviously not his first time hearing them.

Maria rises to her feet, she’s surprisingly tall, taller than Eren but not quite Reiner’s height either. She ushers Levi to stand with her and places a hand on his shoulder, leading him to the bar. “Come sit at the bar with me, I’ll get Sasha to cook you up something real nice, and please, call me Marco.”

“Hey! And what about me?” Jean questions looking mildly put out.

“Oh no darling, don’t you move a muscle now! You must be so tired from sitting there doing absolutely nothing all day. Don’t strain yourself too much, but you know maybe Connie could do with a hand up on stage? He looks a bit peckish. In fact, why don’t you get some food from the kitchen and go eat with him once Rogue is done?” It’s phrased like a question, but all three of them know there is no room for argument, and Levi slyly smirks at Marco’s amusement as Jean huffs and makes his way towards the kitchen.

At the mention of Rogue, Levi lets his attention wander to the stage where the alluring queen is now swaying her hips seductively to the beat of an electronic dance tune that he can remember from his college partying days. The crowd are going wild now, jumping around and throwing their fists in the air to the beat. Rogue is grinning widely, whipping her hair and getting lost in the feel of the music. She looks so comfortable and at home on stage, a million miles away from the frantic, scatter-brained, half-naked ball of stress he had met earlier.

“I’m surprised, she normally goes down the comedy route on a Friday night, but they’re obviously not complaining.” Marco says, gesturing towards the dancefloor at the very happy patrons from the barstool he has now sat himself on, legs crossed, and hands clasped over his knee. Levi occupies the stool next to him, stretching his arms out and relaxing properly for the first time this evening, from what he’s seen Marco seems to have a rather calming effect on people.

“So, she normally has a set schedule then? Somebody could memorise it if they really wanted to?” Levi asks, business head turning itself back on automatically. He can’t help it, years of experience makes friendly conversation a great difficulty. His handful of actual friends can vouch for that.

“Oh sweet pea, as much as I love and adore my little Rogue, that girl needs a firecracker shoved so far up her ass. I am not kidding.” Levi can tell from Marco’s expression, that he most definitely is not, “In Rogue world, there is no such thing as a schedule, never mind a set one. Honestly, if I had a nickel for the amount of times I have had to improvise because she’s had a creativity block, or a make up disaster, or the outfit she “most definitely” has to wear has magically shrunk two sizes – which of course has absolutely nothing to do with the four double cheese burger meals with large fries and shake she’s had that week- I would never have to pay taxes on this place again.”

The discomfort on Levi’s face must be visible by now, and that’s simply to mask the sheer horror he is definitely feeling inside. It seems now would be the worst possible time to drop the bombshell that Levi has the worst OCD known to man…. that definitely would not be helpful information to disclose at this moment in time.

“Don’t get me wrong though Levi, she works so hard I actually don’t mind as much when she slips up these days. And it’s not like she’s gonna be here almost every day anymore, soon she’ll barely be able to fit a show in a week. I’ll miss her disasters when the time comes.”

“Wait, you’re saying she won’t be working here as a regular anymore?” Levi asks confused, as far as he’d been made aware Maria’s was Eren’s firm home base and Rogue had been hard pressed to work anywhere else.

“Well yeah, I mean when her contract comes to fruition, she’ll have other commitments to prioritise, it’s only natural. She won’t be able to do as many shows here, never mind spend us much time here as she’s used to.” Of course, that would make sense, why would Eren be getting paid a six-figure sum to sing and perform in one local lounge on the outskirts of town? More than likely he’ll be shipped all over the country once the deal is done, Levi is unsure how to feel about that now, having met Eren… or Rogue as Jean insisted, and bore witness to her comfortable chaos as it were.

“I inherited this place when I was 20…” Marco continues “…so Eren has been coming here since he was about 16 years old. I got sick of kicking him out after months of him showing up underage so he was allowed to sit with Jean at a table as long as he was only served hot meals and sodas, and he always paid despite my protests. It didn’t seem like he had anywhere else to go, I felt sorry for him and kind of took him under my wing. Whenever he wasn’t here, he’d be hanging out at mine and Jean’s place, he’d bring his sister sometimes too, and we eventually met all of his school friends. Some of my best memories are of us all just hanging out, drinking soda and ice cream floats because they weren’t 18 yet and playing stupid games. It was actually because of a rigorous game of Truth or Dare that I put Eren in his first drag.” Marco says with a fond smile and slightly wistful look. Levi listens intently, feeling himself being pulled into the memory he wasn’t present for.

“I still remember the days Eren would turn up at my apartment, sobbing inconsolably or his hands covered in blood from a fight he’d been in. Back then I hadn’t known how to help him, all I could think of was to bake him cookies, I picked that up from my momma, and hold him close until he calmed down. He would tell me why he was getting into his fights and what was upsetting him enough to make him cry, but he would never tell me the real source of his problems. He never told me what was truly bothering him, those were demons not even my momma’s baking could get through to. But having drag, having something that was truly and creatively HIS, it helped him more than I could have ever imagined. It gave him control, it allowed him to throw his emotions into a visual, and he’s never looked back. And now he gets to show it all off to the world, I couldn’t be prouder of him.” Levi looks at Marco to see his eyes are filled with unshed tears, but he’s polite enough not to comment, simply handing him a handkerchief from his lapel pocket while Marco apologises for acting so “silly”. Levi ponders his next question carefully, before his curiosity gets the better of him.

“Marco, if I may ask, Annie said in the car that you arranged for the entertainment scouts to come and watch Rogue perform, and that’s how she was picked up by the agency. That contract includes a record deal, and I’m no expert but you seem to be a far more natural singer than Rogue is, so why not look to be scouted yourself? Why let Eren take the deal and not be in his position yourself?” Levi ponders and Marco laughs good-naturedly before answering.

“That’s a question I’ve been expecting for a while, and the answer is simple, I don’t want to be in Eren’s position.” Marco says honestly, “I’ve been Maria ever since I can remember, wearing my momma’s clothes or my sister’s make up, and she’s stuck with me ever since. I’ve known Jean since I was a kid, and we’ve been dating since high school, he’s the love of my life.” Surprisingly, Levi doesn’t feel the need to retch at the statement, “I have everything I need right here, I have this lounge named after me, I have the man I want to spend the rest of my life with by my side, my closest friends and family all work here and/or live close by, stardom is not something I want to add to that list.”

Levi searches Marco’s face for any signs of dishonesty and comes up empty, he looks completely content and at ease. No animosity. Not a threat.

“Besides, Eren was born to do this.” Marco says, nodding towards a table to their far right. Levi follows his gaze, and sure enough Rogue looks to be in her element, draped across a lounge chair and singing a sultry R&B song to some adoring fans, who are looking at her like she’s an angel descended from Heaven. Levi isn’t convinced he’s looking at her any differently. With a sly wink to the crowd, she struts back up to the stage, touching hands with everyone she passes on the way, leaving behind a path of glitter on her way.

“She belongs up there” Marco finishes, before breaking them both out of the moment, “Anyway, let me go speak to Sasha, her meat loaf is the best in town, I’m sure you’ll simply adore it, unless you’re one of those vegans or whatever?”

“No absolutely not.” Levi responds, “I like a good slab of meat.” And then realises his mistake.

“Haha, me too! Seems like we’ve got more in common than I first thought.” Marco chuckles and slaps his arm, slipping away before Levi has time to argue with him. Shaking his head and silently huffing at the encounter, Levi looks once more towards the stage, where Rogue has already announced the end of her set for the evening, bows and blows kisses to the crowd that cheer, wave, take pictures and clap for their queen, and then saunters off the stage.

+++

Levi has just finished his huge helping of meat loaf (which is admittedly delicious, this Sasha person can cook like no one’s business and makes a mental note to ask for the recipe) and crusty corn bread when he feels a prodding tap on his shoulder, a patch of glitter left on his suit from the light touch. He turns sharply on his stool to find a far more casual looking Rogue looking back at him.

Levi takes a moment to assess her up and down; she’s wearing a royal blue, wool knit, sweater dress that hangs off of one shoulder and reaches just below her thighs. Thighs that are once again clad in the red, fish-net stockings he’d seen her wearing earlier and a pair of white, comfortable looking sneakers on her feet, a million miles away from the heels she’d been adorning for half the night. Her blonde wig is tied in a short, low ponytail and her make up has sweated off a touch, the little droplets collecting glitter clumps at the edges of her face. He notes, she has also removed her blue contacts and is holding a scotch on the rocks with a lime twist and strangely enough, a cinnamon stick, in her manicured hand. All in all, if she weren’t all bony collar bones and protruding Adam’s apple, she would very easily pass for a young, teenage girl out looking for trouble in the big city.

“I saw you were watching my set.” She says with a smug little grin, “What did you think of me? How did I do up there Handsome?”. ‘We’re back to that again, she seems to have forgotten all about what happened in her dressing room…or at least is acting as if she has’…Levi thinks, and to what end he does not know. He clears his throat before responding.

“Not bad, brat.” He says shrugging, refusing to give too much away, “If you like that sort of thing.”

“Well you seemed to like it well enough!” She protests, folding her arms, “You were watching me pretty much the whole time.”

“Look brat, in case all that glitter you’ve been snorting has damaged the few brain cells you actually have up there, I should remind you that it’s my job to watch you. It’s kind of why I’m here. Maybe, you should be doing your job a bit better by watching your own clientele” Levi remarks, annoyance laced into his words.

She titters, “You know you really shouldn’t snort glitter short stack, you’ll end up sneezing rainbows for weeks. Then you’ll be just be like me, and we wouldn’t want that now would we?”

“Listen here you little shit, call me short stack one more time and I’ll…”

“Patiently wait for 5 minutes as this is important.” Annie cuts in from behind him, looking awfully bored and far more tired than she’d been a mere few hours ago, Levi stands to greet her but her full attention is on Rogue, “Eren, you have an appointment with the agency tomorrow at noon, they wanna go over some things for your make-up brand.”

Rogue groans, “But I already told them everything I wanted! We’ve been through everything from colours and allergens to cost and packaging. Plus, I spent HOURS talking them through my whole concept, and they agreed my idea would be a hit! What more do they need?”

“I know, but they want to go through your ideas for marketing the brand, and how you want to distribute it.”

“And they can’t do that over the phone, or fucking Skype or something?” Rogue complains.

“I asked, but the Head of the Production team wants to meet with you in person and discuss it in depth, it shouldn’t take more than a couple of hours at most.” Annie promises.

“Well it can’t take more than 3 hours anyway, I have to film, render and upload a video for the channel tomorrow. I was going to take it easy and make it a little longer, but I won’t have time if I want to get it up before midnight. And it’s my first Saturday off in months.” Rogue pouts.

“Better get used to it kid, something tells me you won’t have many Saturdays off for a long time coming. Gotta just take it on the chin, grin and bear it sometimes.” Levi advises from the side lines, Rogue gazes at him with a pout that could rival that of a five-year-old child.

“Are you sure you can’t just take my place instead, hot stuff? Let a girl catch up on her beauty sleep?” Rogue asks hopefully, eyes glimmering with barely contained mischief.

Levi raises a perfectly arched eyebrow, his expression practically screaming “Do you REALLY think that’s going to happen anytime soon brat?”

Rogue rolls her eyes and groans once more, “Fine, I’ll be there. But I’m not dressing up, they wanna work with me, they work with the real me.” She huffs.

“I’ll call them in the morning to confirm. Speaking of which…” she turns to Levi, tired eyes barely reaching his “…once we pick up your car in the morning, remind me to give you the details of the agency’s headquarters so you can take Eren to his appointment straight after.”

Levi’s whole demeanour shifts in an instant, “Wait, I’m taking him to this make-up thing tomorrow??” he asks sharply.

“Of course, you’re security after all and you will have your own car. I simply arrange these things, you don’t need me there.” Annie shrugs looking unbothered, but Levi swears he can see a hint of amusement on her face. It’s hard to tell with the curtain of blonde hair in front of it.

“Ooh, looks like you’re stuck with me all day Sugar!” Rogue chimes next to him, scarlet-lipped grin practically plastered to her face. Reminding him for the second time today to call Hange soon.

“Fantastic, what could be better than that?” Levi deadpans, causing Rogue to snort as she downs the rest of her drink and begins to nibble on her cinnamon stick.

“Anyways, I’m beat, Annie darling could you take me home now or do we have to wait for Mika?”

She shakes her head, “We can leave now, she said she’s gonna crash at Jean and Marco’s place tonight, I think Dietrich’s guys are out tonight so they’ll all most likely be drinking until daybreak. Levi, you good to go now? Get everything you needed?”

Levi grabs his jacket from the stool and slips it on, “I think I have everything I could possibly need for now.” He says as he follows Annie out the main door, she nods to a tall freckled woman on her way out, who in turn also nods to Levi and Rogue as they leave the club.

“Everything you need? Does that include me sweet thing?” Rogue sing songs from behind him.

“In your dreams, Jaeger.” Levi snarks.

“Ooh, I’m counting on it.” Rogue retorts, and then yells “SHOTGUN!”.

+++

Annie had point blank refused to allow Rogue to sit up front, much to her dismay and Levi’s unsuppressed smugness at the look of pure insult on her face. However, no more than 10 minutes into the journey, the sleepy queen had already managed to sprawl herself out across the three back seats and was snoring awfully loudly.

For a while, Levi just listens to the sound of her breathing. Despite the god-awful noise, he is oddly calmed by the notion she is there, snoring away without a care in the world.

“I’ll take you back to the hotel first, it’s a going to be a nightmare trying to wake her without the whole neighbourhood thinking I’ve roofied her.” Annie says, matter of factly.

“Okay, but I can help if you want? Wouldn’t be my first time hauling a hunk of dead weight from a car to bed. Plenty of my squad back in the day seemed to think I was some sort of personal courier service with the amount of time I had to drag their drunk asses from the mess hall to bed. When in actual fact, I just didn’t want to get vomit or their drool all over my nice clean floors.”

Annie lets out a huff of a laugh, “That’s really quite alright, it’s been a long day for all of us but for yourself especially, get some rest.” She says, and Levi realises they’ve somehow travelled all the way to the parking lot of his hotel room. He wonders idly about how long he’d actually been listening to Rogue and her snoring.

Without hesitation, or a look to Rogue’s sleeping form, he bids goodnight to Annie and exits the car. As he walks up the steps to the entrance of his brightly lit Hotel reception, he thinks over the sheer strangeness of his incredibly long day. In a matter of 24 hours, he’s found himself wrapped up in a world that he would have considered a million miles away from his quiet, serene, clinical every day life. He couldn’t deny the excitement he felt at the prospect of finally being busy for the first time since leaving the military, but also an undeniable feeling of dread at the idea of spending the majority of his days surrounded by gays – specifically gay men – for his foreseeable future.

Sure, he had had pleasant, almost friendly exchanges with Marco, Reiner and even Eren himself today. But that was all part of his job, he was expected to be polite and respectful right? It wasn’t friendly, it was completely professional…Levi thought to himself. That’s definitely all it was, the fags weren’t going to be his friends. What a stupid notion.

Levi enters his room quietly and strips off to his underwear with a sigh, letting the fatigue seep into his bones as he pulls back the covers of the soft king-sized bed and climbs into it. As he lets the familiar blanket of sleep take over, he is reminded of multi-coloured eyes and that tomorrow, he will meet the true form of Eren Jaeger.

Chapter Text

Chapter 6

Levi awakens to find himself in an all too familiar setting, familiar yet incredibly unwelcome.

He knows this room, probably knows it better than the layout of his beautiful apartment back in Trost, the one he’d helped design himself. He’s memorised the patterns of the stains on the walls, the feel of the cool, hard floors under his bare legs, the solid, very broken radiator against his back and the cracked tiles of the ceiling that he’s counted more times than he can remember.

It’s not just the room itself that’s familiar, the cold stainless steel of the cuffs around his wrists are biting into his flesh in a way that’s more numbing than painful now. The blood on his wrists and under his finger nails have dried and crusted over, falling to the ground in flakes with every odd movement. The stench of soiled clothes and unwashed skin make his eyes water and stream over the fresh, excruciating burns still unhealed and marring the left side of his face.

He assesses his surroundings with a barely recognisable twinge of his stiff neck, he knows he hasn’t eaten in a very long time, and his strength is depleting rapidly. But he won’t give up, he can’t give up.

To his right, there are four slumped, also hand-cuffed figures against the wall adjacent to the one he is propped up against. With a quick look he can see that Oluo’s mouth is covered in fresh blood and Eld is brandishing a new black eye, but they’re awake and that’s promising at the very least. Gunther is asleep and whining with every intake of breath, it’s likely that his ribs are bruised with the treatment he’s received, several probably broken. However, Levi is more concerned about Petra, she is on the floor so he can only see the top of her head, she hasn’t moved a muscle all night, and he is unable to tell if she’s breathing properly. He wants to order one of his men to check on her, but he can’t get the words to come out of his dry mouth.

With monumental effort, he shifts to look to his left and is met with a pair of once vibrant blue eyes, now dulled but not quite lifeless yet. The blond boy is lying on his right side across the room, hands behind his back like the others and yellowing bruises cover every visible inch of skin. And there is a lot of skin on show, each of them had been stripped of their heavy-duty boots, camo cargo pants and jackets when they arrived, and left only in their thin, once olive green vest tops and underwear since. Levi and the boy stare at each other with blank expressions for an undeterminable length of time.

Before Levi can even try and speak again, there is a ruckus coming from outside the door. It’s that time of day, and even though Levi knows exactly what’s going to happen now, he tries to fight his fatigue, his sore muscles, his restraints and get closer to the boy. It’s no use, and the boy knows it’s no use. His bright blue eyes show resignation, not acceptance, but he knows there is no point in fighting what’s yet to come. The boy opens his mouth and manages to say a few words.

“Lance…C-Corporal, s-s-stop struggling. I’ll be fine. I p-promise” The corners of his mouth up-turn in what looks to be reassurance.

Levi is running out of time before the bolts are unhinged and the door flies open, so he lets himself slump back against the radiator and fights his instincts to croak out a few final words to the boy.

“I’m sorry. I’m s-so….”

And then, the door opens with an odd ringing noise.

+++

Levi shoots out of bed and finds that the incessant ringing sound is coming from his own cell phone. He takes a few deep breaths and rubs at his face before checking the caller ID.

Hange. Of course, she’s probably been busting Erwin’s ass all night to get his new number from him. Good, he thinks. He accepts the call and is met with a shrill shrieking at the other end of the line.

“Levi!!! You evil little midget! How dare you not call me when you landed! It’s been a whole day and you promised you would call when you got settled! What if your plane had crashed?! Or you had been murdered by hoodlums?! Or…”

“Shut the fuck up shitty glasses for one second, I’m just up.” Levi says, already feels a headache coming on when he’s supposed to be babysitting the baby Jaeger brat all day. Perfect.

“Really? It’s 7am, that’s pretty late for you.”

“Well I had a pretty long night and not too restful sleep at the end of it.” Levi admits, he can hear Hange sighing on her end.

“Oh Levi, is it the nightmares again?” she asks softly and takes his silence as an affirmative, “I knew when Erwin told me about the type of job you’d taken that this would be hard on you. Especially since…”

“Don’t say any more.” Levi interrupts, he doesn’t think he can take her saying the actual words, “Just stop talking, I can’t deal with that shit right now.”

“Sorry, but you should know that I do agree with Erwin! He can be a real thicko at times, but I do think he knows what he’s doing here. And hopefully by working with this boy you’ll get to see what that whole community is really like, this could be really, really good for you. And maybe by getting to know the kid a bit better you’ll feel more comfortable and see that it’s not all like…”

“What part of stop talking do you not seem to understand? I don't want to talk about it, not now, not ever.” Levi interjects once again, temper flaring dangerously.

“Levi, you know what happened back then was just as much my fault, I should have never…”

“I’m gonna hang up now.”

“Please don’t, I swear I’ll stop! I just…want you to stop feeling so guilty about everything. Nobody could have foreseen…” she wavers, “You already know what I think about it all, and while I understand why you feel the way you do, I think you’re limiting yourself greatly. It’s not been an easy 2 years for anyone, especially not for you, but you’re the strongest person I know, and I love you.”

Levi huffs out the breath he’d been holding before responding “Ditto, you dumbass.”

Hange giggles, heavy atmosphere now gone and continues, “So tell me about the boy, Eren isn’t it?” she asks, although Levi has no doubt that she’s already bled all of the necessary information out of Erwin and done her own, extensive research on his client.

“Cocky little shit if ever I met one, overconfident, arrogant, full of himself…need I go on?”

“Uh oh, has pretty boy already touched a nerve there Levi?” Hange teases.

“Just because he’s got a few inches on me doesn’t mean he can be a rude fuck about my height, asshole doesn’t even know the amount of damage I’m capable of doing to his shitty…wait a minute. How do you know he’s pretty?”

Hange is silent for a few seconds, “Oh, um, well, you see…” she knows she’s been caught out and there’s no going back now.

“You found his YouTube channel, didn’t you?” Levi assumes, not in the least bit surprised.

“Okay I did, but Levi you have no idea, that boy is a wizard with a make-up brush! I must have watched about 3 or 4 of his tutorials, not that I’m much a of make-up wearer myself…and those eyes! How interesting! It’s called Heterochromia Iridum you know, I’ve never actually had the experience of meeting someone with the condition before but I would love to see it in person, and did you know it only affects about…” she rambles on.

“Are you done? Because I actually have things I need to be doing today? Picking up said boy wizard and taking him to work being one of them.” Levi says, pulling himself out of bed and gathering his things for the day with his unoccupied hand.

“I can take a hint, but please call me in future! Otherwise, I’ll worry. I’ll come and visit once you have a new place sorted. Speaking of which, do you know what you’re gonna do with your Trost apartment?” Hange asks curiously.

“I haven’t decided yet, I don’t think I could bear the idea of having random tenants wreck the place while I’m gone. And I don’t know how long I’ll be in Shiganshina, if I don’t insult the kid and his posse too much it could be a permanent move. I’ve actually been thinking of offering it to Oluo and Petra, I know they’ve been looking to start a family and get out of their shitty place for a while. It’s not like I need the money anyway.”

“Are you sure Levi? As much as I know they’d love that, you put your heart and soul into that apartment. You designed it specially to your tastes.”

“I know, but there are too many bad omens there now. I moved into it 5 years ago and since then I’ve experienced nothing but misery. Maybe Oluo and Petra will have better luck with it and will be able to create their own happy memories there.” Levi says, “Anyway, I do have to go now, I’ll call you soon.”

“Alright, I’ll speak to you later my little muffin man!”

“Fuck off, shit specs.” Levi concludes, before hitting the “end call” button.

At 8am, Levi decides to check out the hotel gym before he takes his morning run and shower. There are only a couple of other people there at the early hour, however Levi quickly concludes that while it looks clean enough, it certainly doesn’t meet his standard of cleanliness to even bother using any of the machines or lifting any weights. Maybe he can come earlier another morning and give it a good clean before anybody else shows up…

After his run and brisk shower, Levi dresses in a slightly more casual manner than the day prior. While he still wears a new pair of black slacks, a crisp white shirt and his signature cravat, he has decided to forgo his waist coat and blazer, the weather proving far too warm for his usual state of dress.

He eats a small breakfast of two buttered croissants (nothing compared to the ones his mother used to make), and a pot of English Breakfast tea and vacates the room exactly as he’d found it prior, housekeeping would have an easy enough job, and goes outside to meet Annie.

Like Levi, she doesn’t look like she’s had a very restful sleep, but with his impressive deduction skills he soon decides that the content of her busy night…and morning by the looks of it…has nothing to do with her sleep itself and the reason is more of an adult nature. Her hair is still styled in a bun, but has not quite been tamed, her body is flushed with a healthy glow and she walks with a very slight limp that would be unrecognisable to the untrained eye. Levi wouldn’t even have noticed himself if she hadn’t reminded him of his old college student roommate who avoided his eyes in the same embarrassed manner that Annie is now, as if he can see right through her.

Which he can to be fair, but Levi is neither phased nor cares about the antics of her personal life. Sex (heterosexual sex at least) itself doesn’t alarm him, nor does the idea of other people having sex bother him, it just simply doesn’t interest him. It has never really interested him in fact.

“Did you have a nice night?” Levi asks automatically, out of trained politeness more than anything.

Annie flushes a touch more at his question before answering, “Yeah, it was…good. My fiancé has been away on business for a while and he came back last night as a surprise. He can be gone for months at a time, so it’s always a treat when he comes home for a while.”

“I see.” Levi says, really not wanting to push for further details on the matter. Not that Annie seems like the type of person to divulge such things. Annie, for a second, does look like she wants to say more, but decides against it, and invites Levi into her car once more. For a second Levi wants to ask what she wanted to say but the moment is gone, and he doesn’t feel the need to press the issue. He enters the car and they set off without another word.

In less than an hour, Levi has received his new company car. It’s a brand new, silver, BMW. A saloon car. Not bad, Levi thinks. It’s coming up to 11am, so Annie wastes no time in giving Levi the address of Eren’s apartment, his agency and his phone number. She tells him to give her a call if he has any questions or problems, and that she would be working from home for the rest of the day. Levi assures her that he will, and they soon part ways, Levi programming Eren’s address into the built in Sat-Nav and setting off.

+++

Eren’s “apartment”, as Annie had described it, turns out to be more of a small, single-story house in what looks to be a nicer part of town.

There are white picket fences bordering all the houses in the area like something out of a movie, the streets are clean and there are people milling around either walking their dogs, jogging or chatting with neighbours.

Levi makes his way to the front door and double-checks he has the correct address before knocking, once he’s satisfied, he notices the door-bell and rings it twice in succession. There is no answer.

He frowns at the bell, as if it had somehow been the one to ignore him and checks his watch. It’s not long until Eren’s business meeting, and Levi knows it’ll take some time to drive in an unfamiliar city, it’ll do no good for his client to turn up late for a meeting on his first proper full day on the job. After several minutes of standing outside with no response, he rings the doorbell again, this time pressing it down sharply every few seconds before he can hear footsteps on the other side with some muttered grumbling and cursing. The door flies open just as Levi removes his finger from the bell.

A very disgruntled looking young man appears in the door way, leaning against the front door, yawning and rubbing at his eyes. When he opens them fully, Levi recognises the unmistakeable emerald green and shining gold he’d been acquainted with the night before.

“Levi?” Eren asks confused and annoyed, “What are you doing here at this ungodly hour?”

“Ungodly hour? It’s eleven thirty you shit, you have a meeting at noon. I’m here to take you unless something more pressing has come up?” Levi folds his arms, scowling.

“Ahh crap, I forgot about that.” Eren knocks his head on the door and moves out of the doorway, “You’d better come in, I need to get dressed.”

Levi follows Eren into the house and through to the living room with adjoining kitchen. He has a quick look around the room and is surprised to find that it’s not as much of a mess as he’d been expecting. It definitely has a lived-in feel but everything is in it’s place and doesn’t quite look like the warzone that is Rogue’s dressing room. It’s a welcome surprise if Levi is honest with himself, but Eren is still very much on his shit list for making him wait outside like an idiot and forgetting he was coming.

“Make yourself at home, there’s coffee and tea in the kitchen if you want some. I’m gonna take a quick shower and make myself look at least a bit more decent for this thing.” Eren says looking at Levi. Levi takes a second to look at the man properly for the first time, his face is clean of the make-up and glitter he’d been covered in, he’s wearing a slightly stained T-shirt and a pair of sleep shorts, but what captures Levi’s attention the most is Eren’s shaggy mess of brunet hair which is wildly sticking in all directions and comes down to his shoulders. He’s not sure why, as he’d only seen Eren in a wig cap the day before, but he’d assumed it’d be much shorter.

“Just make it quick brat, we’re already running late and I’m still getting used to driving here. So, go and hurry it up before I have to drag you out looking like that.” Levi snaps.

“Jeez, what crawled up your ass and died?” Eren retorts before shaking his head and leaving the room in a shittier mood than when he’d let Levi in.

+++

Levi occupies the time Eren is gone with looking around the living room and ends up gazing at the artwork on the rear wall next to the door leading to the back garden. The wall is filled with landscapes of watercolour and charcoal pieces dating back from when Eren would have been around 15 to fairly recently. Levi doesn’t know much about art, but he can tell Eren is very talented in his work. He’s in the middle of examining a charcoal portrait he’s found of what looks to be a young Asian woman when Eren’s voice reaches his ears.

“Are you finished snooping around my things and ready to leave, or do you need more time to get your rocks off?” Levi turns to glare at Eren, as he continues “I mean, I can leave the room if that’s what you’re into.” He’s fighting a smirk, little shit.

Eren is now fully dressed and looking far more presentable than he had done 10 minutes ago, wearing a stain-free band T-shirt under a leather jacket, with some black, ripped skinny jeans and lace-up biker boots. He has added a faux leather baker boy hat, his hair has been brushed and slicked back, and tied up in a bun at the back of his head. He’s a million miles away from his alter ego and far less flashy, but overall he looks trendy and well put together.

“It’s not exactly snooping if everything here is out in the open for the whole world and their mother to see, genius. And we’re late as it is, so let’s just go.” Levi says, already stalking towards the door.

Eren rolls his eyes, “Lead the way, sir.” He sarcastically spits out the last word.

+++

“Aww man this is so cool, having my own personal Chauffeur to drive me around in style. And to think I almost told Annie to shove the idea up her ass.” Eren chuckles, leaning back in the passenger seat.

“Get your feet down off the dash you idiot, what the fuck’s the matter with you? Were you raised in a fucking barn? And what’s your fascination with asses anyway? Actually, don’t answer that, it's a stupid question.” Levi says, swatting at Eren with one hand without looking away from the road too much.

Eren cackles loudly in Levi’s ear, who cringes, and puts his feet down as requested. But if Levi thought that was the last of his problems, he was proven dead wrong with Eren cranking up the car stereo, singing very loudly, and very off key. Levi shuts it off and gives Eren his best death glare. It doesn’t do much to deter Eren’s shit eating grin however, despite many other, much scarier men, crumbling under it in the past.

“Listen here shithead, there are gonna have to be some ground rules if I’m going to be driving you around, as you put it. First, keep your hands, head and feet in the car at all times and off of my dashboard, I won’t be held responsible if you’re stupid enough to injure yourself or worse, me. Second, you do not touch the radio without specific permission from me and me alone, and before you ask, no I won’t be giving you permission.” Eren rolls his eyes like a child, “Thirdly, no dumb ass questions, I promise you will be ignored for the entirety of the journey. Lastly, and most importantly, you do NOT make a mess of this car, and that includes food or drink spillage, vomit or any other bodily fluids I don’t wanna know about. And if I’m taking you home after a show, you will scrub EVERY piece of glitter off your skin before you even think about setting foot in this car. I am not driving around in something that looks like a fucking unicorn has been murdered in it. Any breaking of this rule will result in you cleaning the car from top to bottom with your toothbrush, understood?” Levi raises an eyebrow in question at Eren.

“Dude, you need to learn how to relax. Remove the stick and chill out a little. And lucky for you if you’re need of a little help in that area, Mama Eren is here.” Eren winks.

“If you value your life even one little bit, you will NEVER refer to yourself as Mama in my presence again.” Levi stops the car a little too harshly and it sends Eren scrambling for purchase, he hadn’t had the forethought to put his seatbelt on. He recovers quickly enough.

“Seriously though man, you need to lighten up, you’re gonna get wrinkles if you don’t stop scowling like that. Look, there’s already one right there…” Eren points and moves to touch his finger to Levi’s face.

“Get off me you asshat! We’re here now and you’re already late.” Levi exits the car and Eren, the brat, waits for Levi to open the door for him. ‘I’m gonna kill him, and Erwin’s gonna fire me, and I’m gonna have to clean it up….” Levi grumbles incoherently under his breath as he lets a smug looking Eren out of the car and locks it.

“According to the information Annie gave me, we’re at Sina Enterprises and we’ve to go to the 15th where you’re meeting with a Mr Nile Dok. If we hurry, you shouldn’t get into too much trouble.” Levi sets off in the direction of the tall building, Eren trailing behind him with his hands in his pockets, looking very much like an out of place university student rather than someone that’s come for a business meeting.

Levi opens the glass door of the entrance and Eren cuts in front of him, “Thank you kind, sir” and makes his way to the elevators at the end of the long hall of the building. Levi is left cursing him out and following in his path. As they stand together waiting for the elevator, Levi is reminded for the first time today of their height difference, Eren seems to have noticed too and is side-eyeing Levi whilst laughing softly to himself. To someone looking in from the outside, the idea of Levi acting as a bodyguard for a man that is a good 4 inches taller than him is really quite ridiculous. But Levi is used to being short, what he’s not used to is being made to feel like his height is a handicap.

His train of thought is brought to a halt with the arrival of the empty elevator. They make their way in together and Levi pushes the button for the 15th floor, sharing a look with Eren.

“Let’s get this shit show on the road, shall we?” Eren grins, and Levi simply hums in agreement.

Chapter Text

Chapter 7

The elevator soon dings and opens on to a sleek, sophisticated room complete with floor to ceiling windows, white walls and contemporary furnishings. It’s clean, clinical and combines all of Levi’s decorative tastes to a tee. In fact, without the presence of the imposing white receptionist’s desk and the young woman behind it who looks like she’d rather be anywhere else, it could have easily been mistaken for Levi’s old apartment.

Eren heads straight on over to the reception desk and Levi remains several paces behind, mentally scanning and mapping out the layout of the room, force of habit rather than looking for the means of a quick escape. Although, with the way the brat has been acting all morning, Levi thinks he wouldn’t be too opposed to leaving him behind quite happily in the face of danger.

The receptionist herself hasn’t noticed them yet, she’s too busy typing away on her computer with one hand and practically downing her coffee with the other. Levi, sensing Eren is feeling too awkward to try and get her attention, clears his throat a tad too loudly as the girl is taking a large swig from her mug. She splutters and manages to spray coffee droplets over her screen, looking up at them with owlish eyes.

“Oh! Forgive me sirs! I didn’t see you come in, uhhh…. what can I help you with?” She says in a mild panic, switching her attention between the men in front of her and wiping down her screen with a tissue taken from the box on her desk. Levi is scowling at the display and from the corner of his eye, he can see the subtle shake of Eren’s shoulders, indicating he’s suppressing a laugh.

“Please don’t apologise on our account Miss. The fault is all ours.” Eren says, glancing at Levi who glares back in return, “It’s just that I’m actually running a little late for a meeting with Nile Dok, I was hoping you could let me know where I could find him?”

Her whole face brightens, “Ahh, you must be Mr Jaeger! Yes, Mr Dok has been expecting you. And this is?” She asks, indicating Levi.

“Just Eren is fine, and this is Levi, he’s my personal security. Things have been a bit crazy you know?” Eren shrugs, looking a bit self-conscious for the first time since Levi has known him.

“I understand, if you both follow me, Mr Dok’s office is right down the hall.”

She leads them down a long corridor filled with posters and photographs. They’re filled with famous people of all backgrounds; musicians, reality tv stars, actors, models, socialites, internet moguls. You name it, they’re all here. There are even some that Levi recognises, which to be honest is a feat in itself. He surmises that they are or at least have been managed by Sina Enterprises at one time or another. ‘Not bad’, he thinks.

Eventually, they reach a large double door with a silver plaque that reads “Nile Dok, Head of Production, Sina Enterprises.”. The receptionist knocks twice before opening the large door and leading them into the massive office, décor not unlike the rest of the building, only difference being the massive mahogany desk in the centre of the room and the man sitting behind it.

The man at the desk grins broadly and gets up to greet Eren and Levi, he wears a grey tailored suit with a white shirt and tie. His eyes and hair are dark, probably late thirties to mid forties, and he’s around average height and weight, still taller than Levi much to his chagrin.

“There she is! There’s my star!” The man states proudly, and for a moment Levi thinks he’s talking about the young receptionist, but he’s looking right at Eren and holding his hand out to him. Eren takes it in a firm shake.

“Rogue Jaeger, I’ve been looking forward to meeting the woman whose name has been on everyone’s lips upstairs for the last month. It’s such a pleasure to finally make your acquaintance, my name is Nile and I’ll be in charge of the marketing and production of your entire brand here at Sina. I look forward to us working together as a team.” The man is still smiling and sounds completely sincere as far as Levi can tell.

“It’s Eren actually, and I would much prefer it if you used male pronouns if you wouldn’t mind.” It’s phrased like a question, but Levi knows better, there’s no room for argument on the matter. Not if this guy is looking for the rest of this meeting to go smoothly.

“My apologies, Eren. Please have a seat, can I get anything for you or your friend?” Nile asks, looking between both Eren and Levi in turn. They both politely decline, Eren taking one of the proffered seats at the desk and Levi moving to stand at the side of the room, his back to the floor length window. Nile nods towards the receptionist,

“Thank you Hitch, that’ll be all, I will let you know if we need anything.” She gives him a small smile and he lets his eyes wander after her for a second. ‘They’re sleeping together’ Levi deduces, ‘Or at the very least, they want to be’.

Levi had done his basic research of Nile Dok, of course, in the car before picking Eren up. He had a limited amount of time to fully look into the man, but no red flags had popped out, he’s a simple family man with a successful career and leads a quiet life in the suburbs with his wife Marie Dok, who works as a school Nurse, and their three children all under the age of 10. Still, whether he’s a cheating scumbag or not is hardly of any consequence to him or to Eren for that matter. Trivial really, but he notes it anyway.

“So…” Nile begins as he takes his own seat on the opposite Eren, “…I asked you to come here today because I would like to discuss the marketing strategy of your make-up palette, we love the whole idea you have of the two different themes and we want to get it out to the public as soon as possible, and this is where we would like your input. We thought you may like to do some public appearances to promote it, as Rogue of course. It would be high end of course, the best beauty outlets with no expenses spared, so you wouldn’t have to worry about that.” He hands Eren a list, presumably of locations for Rogue's appearances.

Eren examines it and shakes his head before answering, “That’s no good. I have no problem doing public appearances, I’ll even do live make-up tutorials like I do online if it’s possible, but I don’t want the palette to be exclusive to all these high-end boutiques. A large portion of my online following is young teenage girls, and I want it to be accessible to them too. So, I’ll do the appearances, but you may want to add some local department stores around the country too, if we’re gonna party, we’re gonna do it the right way.”

“You make a fair point, I’ll make some calls. But we may need to make some changes to the palette itself if you want it to cost less. Right now, we have a proposed retail price of $34.99…”

“Are you serious?!” Eren practically yelps, “Nile, with all due respect, I’m a drag queen and in the 2 years I’ve been doing this professionally I have NEVER paid more than $20 per item, and that’s at the tail end of my budget. Why is it so expensive?”

“Well, my team were hoping to get the aesthetic you wanted perfect, the emerald green and the golden trim...”

“Unless it’s made of real emeralds and solid gold, they need to completely rethink their ideas. Seriously, $34.99? That’s daylight robbery. I wouldn’t buy it. What if we used more eco-friendly materials in production of the packaging at the very least? I did a whole segment on it in one of my videos and I know for a fact it can cut costs by more than half. Since it’s quite a big, multifunctional palette, I would be willing to let it go out with a $20 price tag, but that’s the best I can do. And my contract confirms I get creative control, it was my condition.”

Nile chuckles, “You drive a hard bargain Mr Jaeger, I’ll take your conditions to my team and we’ll see what we can do and come back to you with a timescale. Which takes me on to the next topic, advertising for the palette. We were going to ask you about getting some pictures taken for billboard advertisements and we were gonna eventually shoot an ad for TV as well, how do you feel about that?” he asks as he types Eren’s conditions up on his computer.

“I have no issues with that, but I do have one request.” Eren says, leaning back in his chair.

“And what would that be?” Nile asks, hands clasped on his desk.

“Before we do any of that, I want to debut the palette on my Youtube channel. I would introduce it and do a couple episodes showing the different sections and how to use it. My subscribers have been very loyal to me, and I want to give them first look. I don’t think that’s too much to ask considering it will guarantee more sales.” Eren raises an eyebrow.

“That, I can agree to. Crimson Bow & Arrow will make it’s first appearance on TheRogueJaeger. Dates to be confirmed.” Nile says out loud as he takes further notes.

Levi watches the scene unfold in front of him and is rather taken aback to say the very least, where is the whiny, obnoxious brat from this morning? He’s most certainly been replaced with a determined young man with a firm business head on his shoulders. Eren positively owns this meeting, he’s pulling no punches and fighting for what he wants. Levi is rather impressed, if he’s being completely honest with himself…which he’s not.

Before he can think on it any further, his phone starts to buzz in his pocket. He takes it out and reads the Caller ID: Erwin. Levi steps out of the office quietly, making sure not to disturb the men in deep business conversation and answers the call.

“What is it Erwin, I’m busy right now?” Levi snaps.

“Levi, I just thought I’d check up on you and see how you were doing. I haven’t heard from you since before the move and wanted to know how things are?”

“Fine. The kid is as unbearable as I’d expected, his friends are all a shower of rainbows and I’m currently overseeing a meeting about make-up sales or some shit, so my life has definitely become so exciting that I can barely contain myself, just like you wanted.” Levi says, voice dripping with sarcasm, “Anything else you needed to know?”

“That just about covers it I think.” Erwin says, “But the thing is, I spoke to Hange this morning, and she seems to think you’re having nightmares again…”

“Don’t make me threaten to hang up on you as well, I’ve have had just about enough of this crap today. So, what if I’m having nightmares? Last time I checked that’s normal.”

“I know that Levi, but we both know what nightmares I’m talking about. And I just wanted to see how you felt about talking to a Psychiatrist in Shinganshina? I could set it up for you.”

“Flashing all the power you have over there again Smith? And like I’ve said before, I don’t need a shrink, I’m dealing with it my way. It’s worked so far.” Levi says, examining his nails, he’s heard it all a hundred times over.

“Alright, but just let me know if there’s anything I can do to be helpful to you. You’re my best friend, and despite what you may think, I’m not doing this to make things harder than they’ve already been.” Erwin says, sounding slightly remorseful. And Levi suddenly thinks of something.

“Actually, there is one thing. Last night I got talking to the co-owner of Maria’s, a Jean Kirstein, a guy in his early twenties. Apparently, he’s known Eren for quite a number of years…”

“Oh, so he’s Eren now?” Erwin teases, “Thought he was known as the bratty kid to you?”

“I swear, I will shave off your eyebrows and use that prosthetic arm to feed them to you. Anyway, as I was saying, he’s known the kid for years and according to him Eren’s had anger issues for as long as he can remember and only a few months ago, there was a violent altercation at the club that could have landed him in prison if witnesses had decided to turn him in. I managed to get a basic search done on his background but other than college curriculum and his career as Rogue, I’m coming up blank. I was wondering if you could do a more thorough search with the clearances you have?” Levi requests, knowing Erwin will jump at the chance to help after actually being formally asked for once.

“What kind of searches are we talking here? Because depending on what you need or what I may find, it could take some time.” Erwin says.

“Everything you can get. Criminal charges or cautions for petty crime, particularly assault as from what I’ve heard the kid got himself knocked around pretty badly when he was a teenager and would give out as good as he got. Family as well, I got the impression there’s something going on there. I’ve been told he used to spend a lot of time at Maria’s bar and at the residence of Jean Kirstein and Marco Bott growing up.”

“I’ll see what I can find, but in the meantime, why don’t you just ask him? I’m sure there are things he’ll be willing to divulge if you really want to know.” Erwin suggests.
“I highly doubt he’ll want to talk to me if he’s got a shitty past, our personalities don’t exactly mesh well…” Levi teeters off, knowing he’ll be lectured if he lets too much slip.

“As long as you’re playing nice Levi. I’ll have a look into Eren and let you know what I come up with. We did run a background check when we were presented with his case, and nothing major came up to warrant a full search, but I’ll see if we’ve missed anything minor and it might give you what you’re looking for. I’ll let you get back to what you were doing.”

“Okay, thanks Erwin.” Levi says, and the call ends.

Levi lets himself back into Nile’s office and can see the two men are still invested in their conversation, and what looks to be a debate...

“I can assure you Eren, Marlowe is the best in our business. We think he would be the perfect candidate to act as your manager. He’s highly qualified, comes greatly recommended and would be happy to adapt to your schedule…”

“I told you, I don’t want Marlowe, as good as he may be. My agent Annie can act as my manager from now on. With you guys as my agency there will be nothing for her to do and I’d be lost without her. She’s practically my manager already and I’ll even pay her myself. I’m sure Marlowe is a great manager, but he’ll be far better suited to someone who really needs him.” The pair remain in a silent exchange, each waiting for the other to give in.

Nile relents, “Very well, I’m sure he can be assigned to one of other clients. But on the condition that we bring Annie on to our books and we’ll pay her the salary of one of our managers. She can come and pick up her own contract later. Nothing under the table, as you said earlier, if we’re going to party we have to do it right.” Nile smirks and Eren grins in response.

“It’s a deal!” He says, shaking Nile’s hand in response.

“There’s one last thing we need to go over, and then I won’t keep you any longer. But I spoke to our CEO, Darius Zackly, I believe you met with him when you visited Sina last and we drew up your contract?” Eren nods and Nile continues, “When your deal was made, he left the window open for a reality TV show of your own and from what I heard you initially declined the offer.”

“That’s right, and my opinion on the matter hasn’t changed.” Eren says with an air of certainty.

“I just wanted to ask if there’s anything we can do to make the idea more appealing to you? Mr Zackly and the team did go over the pitch for the show and it seemed like you weren’t too happy with it. If you were to tell us what you would like us to change…” Nile appeals.

“There’s nothing you can change that will make me want the show, Nile. My decision on it is final.”

Levi could cut the tension in the room if he conjured up a knife out of nowhere, the sudden shift of atmosphere is uncomfortable and is noticeable to everyone in the room

Nile sighs, “Very well, but Eren please just know that you can say the word at any time. Mr Zackly is very keen on the idea of a show for you, we all are. You can always change your mind.”

“I won’t but thank you.” Eren says as he stands and gestures to Levi, “We’ll be leaving now, thank you for your time today.”

“No, thank YOU Eren, we’ll speak soon.” Nile insists and sees them out.

Eren takes long strides towards the elevator without looking back, shoulders stiff and posture rigid. Levi almost has to break into a light jog to keep up with him.

+++

The car journey back to Eren’s house is a lot quieter than it had been on the way to the agency, what with Eren sitting like a normal human being, completely silent and staring forlornly out the window. Levi even considers sticking the radio on just to lighten the mood just a little.

When Eren sighs for the umpteenth time, Levi feels it necessary to take matters into his own hands.

“Alright I have to ask, what happened in there? Why did you get all weird when the TV show idea was mentioned?” Levi asks.

Eren doesn’t look at him but answers, “You wouldn’t understand.”

“Look kid, there are plenty of things about your life that I can safely say I don’t understand, and I never will. But this seems like one thing I might be able to understand if you just explain it to me.” Levi says, turning away from the road for a split second to see Eren giving him a sceptical look.

“Really? You’re willing to try and understand something that’s bothering ME?” Eren questions, sounding surprised.

“You can either try me or forget about it, your choice.” Levi offers.

“Okay, well, it’s just that I actually thought I was being taken seriously when I was in there. That somebody outside my friends and the club was truly listening to my ideas and what I want to do with my brand, not treating me like some common circus freak for once. I was getting to have my say and he was taking it all in, even agreeing to some of MY terms. That’s never happened before, it felt nice…and then he went and ruined it by bringing up that stupid show.” Eren huffs and rests his face on his palm.

“Right, now you’ve lost me…” Levi remarks, fairly confused.

“They want to make a reality show about my life as a drag queen, they wanna know all about Rogue’s daily activities, her social life, her friends, her enemies, her career, her preparation for shows. They want access to everything about Rogue and who she is. They want her story to be told, they said.”

“And what’s so bad about that?” Levi questions, “Didn’t you just say you wanted your thoughts and ideas to be heard? Isn’t that the point of the show?”

“That’s just it Levi, they don’t want me, they want Rogue. They expect me to be, think and act like Rogue all the time, even today when Nile introduced himself, he called me Rogue. People like that don’t understand that Rogue is just a character, she’s not the real me. Well, she’s not the whole me. She’s a massive part of who I am, but that’s it. She’s a part I play. And if I did that show, I’d be playing her 24/7 and it would just be making a dramatized mockery of every drag queen I know and respect.”

Levi nods, finally understanding Eren’s reasoning. In the last few hours, he’s learned more about Eren than he thought he would manage in months, if ever. He should probably cut the kid some slack, no doubt he can be an annoying little fuck as confirmed this morning, but at the same time he’s not the clueless, entitled, airhead he’d been expecting either.

“Do you want to know what I think brat?” Levi asks, side-eyeing Eren from the driver’s seat.

“If you’re gonna tell me being a drag queen is dumb, my whole lifestyle is disgusting to you and I should stop feeling sorry for myself because I’m damned to hell anyway, you can save your breath. I already know what you think about me.”

“No, you don’t, so listen to me because I’m only going to say this once…”

Why is he even bothering? Why does he feel the need to get involved with this situation? This is way out of his league.

“…while I’m not entirely comfortable with your…situation…I will admit that. I must say that you’re kind of an enigma to me if I’m being honest.”

“What? Really?” Eren exclaims, sitting up straight.

“Yes.” Levi nods, “Last night I was met with a woman, tongue sharper than any of the blades I’ve ever felt pressed against my skin, who could easily laugh off my death glares that have made men twice your size crumble to their knees, who sauntered on and off a stage and into the arms of strangers who came to the club simply to worship her. And then this morning, I was met with the shittiest little brat I’ve ever had the misfortune of dealing with, who stuck his feet up on my clean dash board, laughed at my height and took advantage of my position to treat me like some kind of glorified butler. It was a huge transformation in the space of a night, and you know what happened then?” Levi asks Eren, who is looking at him with wide, anxious eyes.

“What?” Eren’s voice is quiet and full of genuine curiosity.

“You went and surprised me again. You walked into an office building, butted heads with a guy who’s probably been in the business since you were in diapers and still got your own way.” Levi answers with amusement, “What I’m trying to say kid, is that in all of those situations, you were the one in control. That’s not something I’m used to, I crave control, I need it to get through life, but I’ve always had to fight for it. You seem to just attract it with whatever you do, and it’s a mystery to me.”

“So, are you saying i’m a mystery to you?” Eren teases with a smirk.

Levi scoffs, “And the brat is back in the room. Now don’t push it, but yes, I guess you are. But my point still stands, you have all the control…so who’s to say that if you did do the show, you couldn’t make it what you wanted it to be?”

Eren ponders this for a while and Levi can see him visibly relax, the intensity of the situation lifting and he can feel the air becoming lighter.

“You’re right, thanks Levi. I still don’t want to do the show, not now, but I know that if I did want to…I could make it mine. Really mine. Seriously, thank you.”

Levi isn’t sure what else to say, nothing else needs to be said, so he settles with “You’re welcome brat.”

It’s not long before they’ve reached Eren’s drive, and Levi notes for the first time the lack of a car. He’d been so uptight that morning that he’d somehow overlooked it. It’s 3pm now and Eren is getting ready to leave the car but hesitates.

“Levi…I know you’ve taken me everywhere I need to go today, and it’s not in your job description, but Annie is taking a few well deserved days off and Mikasa texted me earlier to tell me she’s nursing a hangover. I need to get my video done today so I can upload it on time, but someone normally comes over to assist with lighting and editing, otherwise it’ll take me around double the time if I’m constantly checking and re-shooting. Could you maybe help me out?” Eren asks, looking both sheepish and hopeful.

He should say no, he should tell the kid to fuck off and that he has better things to do. But he would be lying, and he can’t seem to stop the words before they come out.

“Fine brat, let’s get this over with before I change my mind.” He says, rolling his eyes.

“Awesome! Thank you, Levi!” Eren beams and manoeuvres himself to try and hug Levi, and is met with a palm to his face.

“Don’t even think about it.” Levi glares daggers at him.

“Sorry man! Force of habit.”

As they make their way up the path towards the house, Eren still has a shit-eating grin on his face and he quickens his pace so he’s walking just ahead of Levi.

“Just so you know Levi, you’re a mystery to me too. But that’s the beauty of mysteries isn’t it? They’re made to be solved.”

Chapter Text

Chapter 8

Eren unlocks the front door with a key he’d been wearing around his neck on a thin black rope and opens it with a flourish, gesturing for Levi to go inside first.

“After you, Sir.” He says with a cheeky smile and Levi feels the sudden urge to kick him, however ridiculous it would look considering their height difference. Instead, he resolves to roll his eyes and heads through the doorway into the living room. Eren follows close behind, moving towards the adjoining kitchen and switching the kettle on to boil.

“I film everything for the channel in my bedroom, it’s just through to the hall and first door on the left. You go on ahead, I’ll make us some coffee.” Eren says, pointing towards the kitchen exit that leads on to a darkened hallway, “No fancy coffee machine though I’m afraid, just have to do it the old-fashioned way.”

Levi watches as Eren grabs two mugs from one of the kitchen cupboards and leans himself against the fridge, deciding to mess with Eren a little…

“You know, if this is your masterplan to get me into your bedroom brat, you’ll need to do an awful lot better than that.” Levi says teasingly, crossing his arms and smirking at Eren’s confused expression.

“Haha! I knew you had a sense humour lying around somewhere!” Eren laughs.

“Just don’t get used to it. And by the way, I like it strong and black.” Levi says, heading in the direction of Eren’s bedroom.

“Wait, what?!” Eren splutters indignantly.

“The coffee, idiot!” Levi calls from the hallway.

+++

After around 15 minutes of searching for the camera, 45 minutes of waiting for said camera to charge, 10 minutes of adjusting the tripod and lamps, 20 minutes of Eren whining that the lighting makes him look like a ghost and numerous cups of coffee later…they’re finally ready to begin.

“I’m telling you, it looks a lot lighter than when Mikasa does it. I still think it’s gonna make me look half dead…” Eren grimaces.

“Well, what do you want me to do? I don’t know how to do this shit. Either wait for her to come and help you, or deal with it this way for one video. Your choice.” Levi shrugs and walks away from light he’s been fighting a losing battle with.

“Fiiiine, let’s just get this over and done with.” Eren huffs as he swivels and spins on his desk chair.

Levi sits on a comfortable, green plush chair on the other side of the camera and Eren’s gigantic dressing table. His job is to keep an eye on the timer and make sure that Eren remains perfectly centred in the frame. Eren himself has replaced his hat with a large headband to ensure any stray hairs are scraped back and has an array of make up laid out in front of him.

“Okay,” Eren says before drinking a large gulp of coffee, “Ready to go?”

Levi nods, “Ready when you are.”

Eren puts down his coffee cup, giving a thumbs up signal, and Levi presses the record button. Eren plasters on a large smile and salutes to his camera.

“S’up Jaegerbombs! It’s Eren here, back at you again with another “How to” video. This week, we are continuing with our “back to basics” specials. As you all know, I can be a little heavy handed when it comes to the ole make-up brush, so I’ve decided to take the time to show you all some simple but effective techniques to easily enhance your everyday make-up looks!”

Levi observes as Eren picks up a small blue bag from the front of his table and begins rifling through it.

“Last week, I demonstrated how to apply liquid eyeliner, which can be very tricky if you’re still new to using it so please check that out if you missed it. I’ll put a link somewhere in the description for you, as now we are continuing with the eye theme! This week I’m going to show you all how to get perfect, smoky eyes.”

Eren has picked a small palette of black and grey eyeshadows, two different sized brushes and a little, round pot of white glitter out of the bag. He places them in front of him and clears his space so they can be seen clearly.

“For this you will need eyeshadow, obviously, I will be using this small palette here.” He picks it up and shows it to the camera, “Now unfortunately, I’m complete trash and don’t throw out old make up, so this is probably like 3 years old.”

“Tch, disgusting.” Levi remarks from behind the camera.

Eren glowers at him, “Do you wanna make a feature in this video, because I could really do with a model right about now?”

“I think I’ll pass.”

“That’s what I thought. Remember Levi, camera men are supposed to be seen not heard, so you just sit there and look pretty. And failing that, just make me look pretty.” Eren sticks his tongue out at him.

Levi scowls but says nothing more.

“Anyway, as I was saying, this is pretty old and the name is scratched off so I can’t remember exactly where I got it from. But what I will do is put a couple of links for my favourite, affordable brands in the description, or if you have your own at home feel free to use those. The eyeshadow itself doesn’t have to be anything special, even a bargain brand will do the trick, but you might get a nicer blend if you want to spend a little more money.”

Eren picks up the brushes and pot, rattling off descriptions and instructions, before he pulls a small, double-sided, bathroom mirror into the shot.

“Okay, so now we have all the tools we need, let’s begin!”

Eren sweeps the slate grey colour shadow he’d picked out earlier over the entirety of his eyelids with his larger brush, commentating as he does so,

“I’ve picked this colour as my base, as it will lock in the charcoal grey that I chose for the smoke effect and the glitter white which I’ll use for highlighting…”

There’s something incredibly satisfying to Levi’s obsessive, compulsive inner self about watching Eren work, he must admit. Minutes pass like seconds as the boy chats away with his future audience, all the while maintaining extreme precision and attention to detail as he applies his make-up.

Levi mentally likens Eren’s methods to a form of geometry; a beautifully complex equation and a perfect formula used to create the flawless solution. He can’t but inch a little closer, eyes fixed on Eren’s dexterous fingers with their light grip on the feathery brush, the arch of his eyebrow as he concentrates on sweeping the bristles over his skin, the faint fluttering of his eyelids…

“Levi, you’re in my light.” Eren says, not stopping his actions for even a second.

“Shit.” He curses, snapping out of his daze, “Will you need to refilm all of that now if my shadow was in the way?”

“Nah it’s cool, I can just cut those parts out.” Eren replies, and Levi leans back in his chair, continuing with his previous job of watching the timer. They have about a quarter battery left. Eren resumes instructing his audience,

“For this next part, I would advise against using a brush. Just take the tip of your finger and dip it into your glitter or powder. Your finger can be your best friend if you know how to use it…and I’ll let all of you dirty minded freaks take that in any way you want it…”

Levi rolls his eyes at the double entendre, of course the brat would.

+++

Once Eren finishes up, he makes a pot of tea for himself and Levi to share. They sit side by side on Eren’s queen-sized bed and review the footage on his laptop, there’s barely a bar of battery left on the camera, but between them they managed to get enough content for Eren to filter through and make a decent video.

“I’m really surprised at how good the lighting is! It makes the colour enhancer look amazing. I think I’ll keep it like this.” Eren grins behind his teacup. Levi had been pleasantly surprised when Eren brought him a genuine china teacup, as he himself was currently the only person he knew to own a full china tea-set. He’d learned that Eren actually only had two of the cups left after stupidly breaking the rest. The shock horror evident on Levi’s face had made Eren ugly laugh for about five minutes straight.

“The lighting is fine, but my shadow is really obvious in some frames.” Levi says, frowning at the screen.

“Don’t worry about it man, Mika can’t sit still and usually ends up knocking things over in the middle of filming anyway. One time she picked up one of my most expensive face creams during a live stream and dropped it, so it ended up spilling all over the floor. I made a very unmanly sound that was caught on camera and shared EVERYWHERE. Drunk or not, she’s definitely not the most graceful creature in the world.” Eren insists.

“Oh? Is that so?” says a groggy yet rather affronted voice from behind them.

Levi’s survival instincts kick in and he shoots up off the bed, grabbing the strange, tall woman standing in the doorway by the wrist and harshly twists her arm behind her back. She cries out in a mixture of surprise and pain, striking him sharply in the chest with her unrestrained elbow. With a grunt, he pulls her head back and just manages to get her in a chokehold when Eren springs into action.

“Whoa! Levi, stop! That’s my sister!” Eren yells, standing in front of Levi with hands held out in a placating gesture.

“What??” Levi asks, still breathless from the intruder’s jab to his ribcage, “What are you talking about, brat?!”

“It’s just Mikasa, you can let her go, it’s alright!” Eren is pleading, with his eyes as well as his words. Levi can feel the woman in his arms seething with anger as he slowly loosens his grip on her wrist and removes his arm from around her neck. He can’t believe he did that, he hasn’t panicked at somebody sneaking up on him since, since... As soon as she’s freed, she lunges at him, but is held firm by Eren.

“Mika stop it! Don’t give him any more reason to hurt you!” Eren warns.

“Me?! I walk in the door to my brother’s house, I say one thing and I’m attacked by a member of the lollipop guild! An unprovoked attack at that!” Mikasa argues, gesturing wildly.

“Listen Mulan, if you hadn’t just strolled in to the house un-announced and snuck up on us like that, I wouldn’t have felt it necessary to fucking attack you!” Levi retorts angered by the insult, and not at all in the mood for being bitched at.

“What do you mean un-announced?! If anybody is a stranger around here it’s you! Besides, I didn’t think I needed a freaking fanfare to announce my arrival at the House of Jaeger.” Mikasa rubs at her wrist and frowns, adrenaline wearing off and pain beginning to kick in.

“Well then maybe next time you’ll know better.”

“What did you just say, asshole?!” Mikasa growls.

“Clean out your ears, bitch.” Levi spits.

“That’s enough!” Eren bellows and steps between them, “I’m not having you guys fighting over a stupid misunderstanding. Levi, I know you’re just doing your job, but please try and refrain from pouncing on my friends and family in future yeah?” Levi is silent but eventually nods in agreement.

“He could have killed me!” Mikasa argues ardently, Eren spins around to face her.

“Mika, you and I both know you could have gotten out of that if you really wanted to. And that key of yours is for emergencies only, we’ve talked about this.” Eren says pointedly, giving her a half smirk.

“It was an emergency! I…. ran out of pain meds.” She says quietly, looking at the floor. Levi makes a sound of derision but is ignored. For the first time, he notices her blood shot eyes, sweat pants and unbrushed hair, he thinks that she’s most likely just out of bed.

“One too many hangovers?” Eren chuckles, kisses her forehead and goes off in search of medication for his sister. Levi and Mikasa are left alone, neither of them speak, simply staring at each other.

Levi sighs and relents, “I didn’t mean to hurt you, you know? You look about half dead as it is, it would just be sheer cruelty at this point.” He says, expression softening a touch.

“Oh gee, thanks,” She glares at him, before huffing out a breath and continuing, “I’m sorry I called you an asshole…I guess.”
Eren returns with a packet of pain medication, a bottle of water and a fluffy hot water bottle, handing them off to Mikasa.

“Do you want to have a sleep on the couch?” Eren asks her, “You can crash here tonight, I’m up early for work tomorrow anyway.” She nods, and heads towards the living room. Eren looks to Levi once more, and Levi feels now would be a good time to leave the brat alone for the day. It has been one hell of a long day.

“Listen kid, I’m gonna go now. It’s getting late.” Levi says, straightening himself up, patting invisible dust and creases out of his clothes.

“Dude, are you sure? It’s only coming on to eight o’clock, I could make you some food? You must be starving.” Eren offers, checking his watch.

“It’s alright, honestly, i’m not all that hungry. I think I’m just going to go back to my room and get some sleep.” Levi answers honestly, the events of today catching up to him at a rapid pace, he can feel his eyes start to droop just at the thought of his bed waiting for him.

“Okay, no problem man. Could you maybe pick me up tomorrow at around 9am? I have work in the morning.” Eren asks, looking rather tired himself.

“Work? That’s a bit early is it not?”

“No, not at the club. My actual job.” Eren chuckles at Levi’s confusion, “What? You didn’t think I lived completely on tips did you?”

“I guess I didn’t give it that much thought.” Levi answers honestly, “It wasn’t in your file.”

“Technically I’m just helping out a friend.” Eren shrugs nonchalant.

“Right well, I’ll text you later. Save my number and send me the details. And I swear, if you start texting me stupid shit I will block your number and we’ll have to communicate completely through Annie, and I don’t wanna have to do that.” Levi says, point his pale finger in Eren’s face.

“Aye, aye captain!” Eren mock salutes, grinning like an idiot.

Levi shakes his head in disdain and begins to make his way out of the house and down the drive towards his car. Eren follows close behind to see him off. Levi unlocks the car and jumps into the driver’s seat, rolls down the window and says,

“Just for the record kid, it’s Lance Corporal.” And without another word, he rolls the window back up and starts the car. He can hear Eren’s laughter from the other side of the window, and a muffled “Catch you later, bro!”.

And all Levi can think of as he drives back to his hotel, is that he hasn’t been called “Bro” for a very, very long time.

+++

“Levi! Are you even listening to what I’m saying?!”

The words sound muffled, but he knows they are directed at him, and there is a tanned hand waving in front of his face, yet he still can’t focus. A finger flicks at his forehead, and suddenly he’s transported to the small Trostian Café he’s frequented since he was a teenager.

He’s sitting at his usual table in the far right hand corner, at the back, a little booth enclosed from the rest of the café but with enough of a view to be able to people watch if he really wanted to. He doesn’t. He’s not alone at the table.

In front of him is a little, red-headed woman he hasn’t laid eyes on in a long time. A woman that he hasn’t thought about in what feels like a lifetime. A woman with bright eyes and the cheekiest grin he’s ever seen. A woman that he misses with every fibre of his being. He reaches his own pale hand out to clutch on to the one she’s waving in his face.

“Sorry Izzy.” He says, “I was miles away.”

She tilts her head to assess him in the way she’s always done since she was a child, the way she does when she believes he’s lying to her or leaving her out of a big secret. Her green eyes are wide and inquisitive, just as he remembers them, although now they remind him of something else, but he can’t quite remember what.

“Are you okay Levi? You’ve been acting strange all day? And they say I’m the one that’s supposed to be suffering from hormonal change!” She giggles, rubbing her small bump proudly. That’s right, he remembers now.

“You’re right, I’m sorry. I just didn’t get a lot of sleep. But I’m fine now I promise, I’m 100% here and listening. You wanted to talk about the wedding. And the new house.” Levi says, rubbing circles into the woman’s hand that he’s still clutching. Never wanting to let go. Knowing that if he does let go, he’ll live to regret it for the rest of his life.

+++

Levi wakes to the chime of his phone, alerting that he has a new text to read.

It takes him a moment or two to fully pull himself out of the dream he was having. Out of the memory he was re-living. But after a bout of rubbing his eyes and calming his breaths, he picks it up and reads it.

Eren Jaeger:
Hey Levi! Annie gave me your number. I guess you forgot to text me huh? No biggie. Anyway the address is Queen Cosmetics, 104 Scout Lane. See you in the morning!

He reads the text over, sighs and types out a reply.

Levi Ackerman:
Sorry brat, completely forgot about texting you. I fell asleep as I soon I got back to my room. I’ll see you tomorrow at 9am.

Eren Jaeger:
I apologise for wearing you out Lance Corporal, I promise i'll be gentle next time 😉 sweet dreams Levi xx

Levi is asleep before he can even read the message.

Chapter Text

Chapter 9

Queen Cosmetics turns out be a long and narrow yet rather homely looking salon, owned and run by a tiny blonde girl named Historia, who Levi senses is positively relieved to see them.

Between the Sat-Nav in Levi’s car being deemed useless due to roadworks in the middle of the morning rush and Eren’s absolutely appalling navigation skills, they ended up arriving almost an hour late with Eren practically sprinting out of the car, across the busy road while cars honk at him from all directions, and bursting through the door.

“Sorry…’storia… traffic…. awful….” Eren manages to heave out while clutching at his chest and gesturing wildly at the window as Levi finally catches up with him, letting himself into the salon a little less dramatically.

Historia visibly relaxes and lets out a sigh of relief, her face immediately brightening. Levi had seen her rushing around almost as frantically as Eren had been from all the way outside.

“It’s alright Eren, but you do have a couple of people waiting, luckily for you they don’t mind hanging around.” She says with a pointed look, whilst brushing the hair of her own client and facing towards a large beauty mirror, “I’ve already set up Ms Kraus at your station, no need to thank me.”

“You, Historia, are a Goddess!” Eren exclaims, as he bends down to give her a quick peck on the side of her head.

“Yeah, yeah, get to work now!” She says as she bats him away playfully with the hairbrush she’s holding. Eren scurries off to the end of the room, where he greets his client with a warm smile and an apology for the wait. Historia is still shaking her head in amusement when she looks at Levi through the mirror.

“Hello there! You must be Levi.” She says, beaming at him, “I’ve set up a chair next to Eren’s workstation, so you can make yourself comfortable over there. If you need anything at all, just holler!”

“Thank you, ma’am. I will make sure to remember that.” Levi nods politely and makes his way over to Eren. Historia giggles softly and Levi can see her blushing from one of the mirrors. As he reaches where Eren is situated, he takes the time to look at Historia properly.

She is short in height, thankfully shorter than him, and petite in build. Her hair is tied back in a low ponytail, but he can see her periodically blowing loose tendrils from out of her pretty face as she works. She wears an almost see-through, floral blouse with long sleeves and billowing white skirt that gives her an angelic look as she swishes around from side to side. Radiant is not a word that comes up often in Levi’s vocabulary, but right now, it’s the only word that comes to mind.

Eren looks up from his task of making Ms Kraus, a thirty-something divorcee with two young children, look sexy and sophisticated for her office party tonight, and notices Levi checking out his boss. He chuckles and continues exfoliating his client’s skin with a little sponge.

“Never gonna happen my friend.” Eren says, giving Levi a knowing smirk as he catches his eye. Levi is caught off guard for a split second before he straightens up.

“Well first, you’re not my friend, you’re a pest. And second, I have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about.” Levi states haughtily. Eren simply grins cheekily at him.

“I don’t know, what do you think Mila? Think I should cut him some slack for his completely obvious leering at my friend?” Eren asks his client, who giggles before responding “I think you probably should, if I looked like her, I wouldn’t mind getting a little attention from attractive men once in a while.”

“Tch, I want no part of this conversation.” Levi scowls and takes his seat, as Ms Kraus struggles to contain her amusement of his offended expression at their teasing. Eren ignores him completely.

“You might not mind Mila, but I’m pretty sure a certain somebody’s wife definitely would.” Eren says conspiratorially.

“Should my ears be burning right now, Eren?” Historia calls over to him, now curling her client’s freshly brushed hair.

“Not at all, love.” Eren answers back with a sly smirk, “Just telling Levi and Ms Kraus here all about the time you and I used to date.”

“Wait, seriously?!” Levi’s ears prick up and Ms Kraus looks like she’s just been given the best gossip she’s heard all year, even Historia’s client and the women in the waiting area stop what they’re doing to listen intently.

Historia rolls her eyes before elaborating, “For the millionth time, we were NOT dating. Back when neither of us were out, we used to be each other’s cover story. So, whenever I was staying with Ymir, I would tell my parents I was with Eren so they wouldn’t get too suspicious. And when his parents would question about him about why he didn’t have a girlfriend yet, he would say he and I were seeing each other but weren’t official. It made for a few awkward family dinners and some hand holding in the school grounds, but that’s about as far as it went.”

“Well, that’s not completely true.” Eren insists, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

“I swear, I will set Ymir on you and it won’t be pretty.” She threatens, pointing her curling iron in his direction.

Eren raises his palms in mock surrender and continues with his work, and everyone else continues on as normal. Levi, however, is rather taken aback. How can everybody just carry on as before after hearing something like that? Why do they not find it weird? The very idea that a young man and woman would pretend to be together when in actual fact they much prefer to be with someone of their own sex, how can a rational person think something like that is perfectly normal? Levi thinks…although he knows there was a time when he himself wouldn’t even have bat an eyelid, he just didn’t care…but he knows better now, his eyes were opened to the harsh realities…

+++

Levi’s face is burning, both from anger and from where it had been pressed against the scorching hot stove.

They came for him in the night last night, as they always do with him, and covered his head with a bag. Each time, he is unsure if he’s going to make it back to his team alive.

Sometimes they torture him for hours on end. They don’t seem to want answers, or bargains, they just want to watch him break, hear him scream, feel him sag in defeat.

Other times, he’s left somewhere, his face still covered with no idea on where he is or if he’s alone. But he listens to the screams of his comrades, the pleas for mercy as they call out for their loved ones, he can feel their pain, their agony…. And sometimes if their captors are feeling particularly “generous”, they make him watch.

In the time he’s been here, he’s been beaten, bruised and had bones broken…and now he’s been burned. Scarred by them for life.

But regardless of their marks he’s now destined to wear, however long or short his remaining existence may be, it’s not the burns that scar him. It’s the sobs of the blond boy sprawled on his lap, curled in on himself, thrown on him once they’d done what they came to do.

Levi can’t hold him, and the kid can’t clutch on to him for support, they’re bound and useless to the will of their captors, left to rot and decay in the four walls that surround them, their dignity ripped from them and left in tatters.

“I’ll kill you.” he seethes, teeth bared and staring at the particular man who’d caused such pain to the small boy whimpering against him, “I’ll kill all of you fucking evil faggots, I swear it!”

+++

“Levi!” Eren interrupts his thoughts, “I asked you what you think of Mila’s lovely new look?”

Levi looks to Eren’s client and can see that she’s now sporting Eren’s previously demonstrated “smoky eye” look, her face contoured to show off her sharp cheekbones and a soft colour staining her naturally pouty lips. She looks elegant, Levi notes, attractive even.

“Yes, very lovely indeed.” Levi says, genuinely and pleasantly surprised by Eren’s handiwork.

“Thank you.” The woman says shyly, smiling to herself at the compliment.

“You’ll knock him dead, Mila. Nicolas won’t be able to take his eyes off you!” Eren assures her gently, as he leads her over to the front desk.

As they chatter away together, Levi is left confused and frustrated. His instincts are telling him that he should despise the younger man with ever fibre of his being. So why is he finding it so damn difficult to do so?

+++

The rest of Eren’s shift goes by pretty quickly, there are plenty of clients, but rather than making the day seem long as hell, they actually provide some rather decent conversation.

Some of Eren’s regulars even make a passing remark about the “fine young man” keeping him company. He has to quickly confirm to them that the relationship is purely professional, both because Levi looks a little green whenever it’s mentioned, and also because Eren’s own track record with men is… well non-existent to be honest, and while it’s never overly bothered him it does simply remind him of the fact he’s very alone.

As Eren finishes up with his final client of the day, an elderly lady named Sylvia Schroeder and one of his favourite regulars, he is amused to find she is in deep conversation with Levi. And from what he can hear, it sounds like it involves something to do with stain removal, among other things related to cleaning products. Odd, he thinks, but Levi is not exactly like anyone he has ever met before.

Deciding to leave them to it, as he has no more clients to see and the salon doesn’t formally close for another 20 minutes, he heads through to the staff area, where he finds Historia sitting at a table and counting out the tips for the day.

“Hey Eren!” she greets him cheerily, as usual “Somehow, even though you turned up late, you STILL managed to get more tips than me!” she pouts.

“What can I say? I’m a natural.” He jokes, fanning himself with a dollar bill he’d picked up from the table.

“Honestly, I’m really gonna miss having you around when you leave.” Historia smiles sadly. Eren takes a seat and holds her hand, “I’ll miss you too sweetie, it’ll be the end of an era! I’ve been here since you set up shop.”

“I know, but you know I’m so happy for you right?” She reassures him, “You’re going to be amazing.”

“Thank you, but you know you could never get rid of me permanently right? I’ll still see Ymir at the club, and no doubt you’ll be there on occasion too. Plus, there’s still Sunday dinner at Marco’s! You’re coming tonight right?” Eren asks.

“I’ll be there. But Eren, there’s something I need to talk to you about before we do anything else. It’s important.” She says, uncomfortably.

“What is it Historia?”

“I went to see my brother on Friday.” She says, “In prison.”

“Urklyn?” Eren asks, becoming visibly white, “Why? I thought you said wanted nothing more to do with him after what happened…”

“I don’t, and he’s never given me any reason to want to see him before, he’s been quiet for so long. He refused to see anybody ever since he was sentenced, but I think when Frieda died last year, he realised how much he was missing out on.”

“That’s his own fault!” Eren snaps, taking his hand back from Historia’s, trying to stop himself from shaking.

“I know Eren, but I went for Dirk’s sake at the very least. He’s 18 now. Dad hasn’t wanted to see me since I married Ymir and I haven’t seen my little sisters since they were little kids. So, when Dirk came and told me Urklyn had been asking for me to visit him…I couldn’t say no.”

“But what could he possibly want after all this time? Do you think he’s gonna tell anyone about me? What if he tells Dirk? Nobody but you and Ymir know that I was there that night.” Eren says, panicking and beginning to hyperventilate.

“Nobody else is gonna know. It’s been well over four years Eren, if he was going to tell anyone he’d have done it by now. Dirk has no idea, all he knows is that you and Urklyn were friends back then, and even if he was told you’d be there that night, he was just a kid. He won’t remember, nothing is going to happen to you, you did nothing wrong Eren!” Historia insists, grabbing his shaking shoulders with her small hands.

“But he doesn’t know that you know, Historia. What if he’s asked for you to visit him because he wants to tell you about me? He thought you were my girlfriend back then.”

“Then I can give you an alibi. As far as I’m concerned, you were hanging out with me and Ymir that night, then you left to go straight to Jean and Marco’s place. They would vouch for you, you WERE there, you’d just have to explain the blood…” Historia trails off as the front door to the store closes. Both she and Eren stand up automatically and make their way out of the staff room, Eren taking deep, calming breaths on the way.

Levi is now in the store by himself, sitting on his chair an holding some money.

“Mrs Schroeder had to leave just now, but she left this.” He says, holding up the notes and giving them to Historia, who checks the amount.

“Uhh Eren…does your client always pay you $10 extra for her make up?” Historia asks, confused and re-counting.

“No, she never leaves more than five! Why would she do that? Could it have been an accident?” Eren asks, looking just as bewildered as Historia.

“Did she anything to you about leaving a tip Levi?” Historia asks.

“Well, she said something about how my tips on making home-made window cleaner deserved a tip of its own. But then she just left without saying anything…weird old Lady.” Levi says in derision.

Both Eren and Historia stare at him for several long seconds before bursting into laughter, leaving Levi as clueless as ever.

+++

Back at Eren’s house, Eren is still laughing at Levi managing to get himself a $5 tip for entertaining an old lady, he hasn’t shut up about it since they left the salon.

“Okay, I get it, can we drop the subject now? You literally get tipped for prancing around in a dress, how is that any less ridiculous?” Levi asks incredulously. Somehow, this just makes Eren laugh even harder.

“Levi, my sides! I beg you, please stop!” Eren says, clutching on to his kitchen worktop for support as Levi glares at him from behind a coffee mug, “But in all serious, I do not prance, thank you very much!”

“Whatever. Anyway, what’s this thing you need to go to tonight?” Levi asks, draining his mug and placing it in the sink, resisting the overwhelming urge to scrub the mug clean along with every other dish that’s been lying there for at least a day.

“Drag Dinner, it’s a weekly tradition. We all get dressed up and go to Marco’s house for a huge meal. Of course, these days it’s just me and Marco that go in drag. Since Bertholdt was killed, Reiner still comes but he wears his own clothes. I don’t think he’s felt right about doing drag since, I’m not sure he ever will again if I’m honest. But regardless, it’s tradition, and I’m not about to let it die.” Eren says determined.

“So, who’s all going to this thing?” Levi asks curiously.

“Well there’s me obviously, Marco and Jean, Mikasa, Reiner, Historia and her wife Ymir. Ymir works at the club, you might have seen her the other night, she’s security there, tall with freckles? Annie and her Fiance will be there, he’s actually one of my best friends, he’s back from work for a little while. Then there’s Connie and Sasha, they work at the club too.” Eren says.

Levi nods, “And what time do you want me to pick you up at?”

“Actually, I was thinking…maybe you’d want to come? Marco said I should ask you…seeing as you’re going to be around from now on. And I guess I’d like for you to be there….” Eren says sheepishly, “I mean it’s whatever, man.”

Levi ponders the request for a while. A dinner with drag queens, at least two gay couples and a few others who he knows have at least batted for the other team would normally seem like his idea of hell. But looking at Eren’s sad eyes, all big and multi-coloured, makes him want to throw all of his reservations out of the window and make the stupid brat stop looking so nervous. And if he’s honest, Marco had been very welcoming when they met….and he had wanted to ask Sasha for her meatloaf recipe…and he probably should meet all of Eren’s close friends, for intel purposes of course….

“Would it make you stop pouting if I said yes?” Levi asks with a smirk.

“Really? You’d come with me?!” Eren asks, hopeful and almost childlike.

“Tch, don’t look so excited now. But I guess…”

“Great! You can help me figure out what to wear!” Eren decides before dragging Levi by the hand to his bedroom.

+++

It takes Rogue surprisingly little time to get her make-up and hair sorted. She decides on a soft peach for her eyes, a pink for her lips to make her look young and girly, and her face contoured and highlighted to give her a natural feminine glow. Her wig is shoulder length, multi-tonal blonde with full bangs, straight but with baby pink highlights at the ends.

Her real struggle is to choose an outfit for the evening, she’s stuck between a bright orange, sleeveless jumpsuit with black chunky heels, or a lacy, pink sundress that reaches mid-thigh with white stilettos.

Levi watches as she stresses herself out over which option to go with, just as she’s about to settle on a decision, she questions herself and the process begins all over again. With a sigh, he decides to intervene.

“Look kid, all of this indecisiveness is not going to get you anywhere tonight, and quite frankly it’s unnecessary. Why don’t you go and put one of the outfits on and see how it looks?” Levi suggests helpfully for once, rather than his usual comment which up until now has been “It doesn’t matter which one you choose, nobody is actually going to care.”

Rogues agrees thoughtfully, picking up the pink dress and taking it to the bathroom with her. Levi mindlessly flicks through his phone, ignoring texts from Hange, and surprisingly there is a new one from Petra, asking him how he’s doing and that she and Oluo wish him the best of luck with his move. He’s about to respond when Rogue clears her throat to get his attention.

Levi looks up and his breath catches, the pink lace hugs her body in all the right areas, and it gives her a stylish gracefulness, but still manages to make her look like the young woman she is. He notices she has put in blue contact lenses again, so her eyes are no longer mismatched in colour.

He’s about to tell her she looks lovely and that she should definitely wear this outfit tonight, when she starts to make silly faces and dumb poses in the mirror. It reminds him of another time, another place and with someone else entirely. He wants to stop the memory in its tracks, but it’s too late…

+++

The young woman with short, red, spiky hair looks at him through the mirror of his bedroom, with her tongue poking through her teeth and she laughs loudly at his annoyed expression.

“Come on Izzy, only you would be late for your own rehearsal dinner! I told you, the dress looks fine.” Levi says, checking his watch and sighing.

“I don’t want to look FINE, Levi. I’m not a kid anymore, I want to look hot!” she says, folding her arms and glaring at him.

He looks at her as she worries her bottom lip between her teeth, and he can almost forget that she’s twenty-six years old, getting married and pregnant with her own child. She’ll always be little to him, forever young in his head. But he can’t deny that as she twirls around in her gold, floor-length gown, she looks like a fully-grown woman. He can’t help but wish that she would stop growing so much.

“I can’t tell you that you look hot Isabel, that would be too weird, even for me. But you do look absolutely beautiful, I promise you that.” Levi says sincerely.

“I don’t look too fat? I bought this a while ago, and obviously things have changed a little since then.” She asks self-consciously.

“Don’t be stupid, you’re barely even three months gone, you’re not even showing yet.” He assures her.

“I can’t believe you’re going to miss the wedding Levi, Farlan and I would love it more than anything if you could be there. Farlan wanted you to be his best man!”

“I know Izzy, and I’m sorry. If it were up to me, I wouldn’t have missed it for the world. But duty calls I’m afraid. I can come tonight at least, and then I can come to Shiganshina in a couple months when you’ve properly moved in. I promise.” He says.

“You better! I was hoping you’d meet someone at my wedding and that you’d fall in love, and get married…” She says, matter of fact, looking rather disappointed.

“Tch, who would want to marry my grumpy old ass Isabel, seriously?” He asks, laughing at her statement.

“Thirty isn’t old Levi! And anyway, who wouldn’t want to marry you? You’re a catch!” Isabel insists.

“Yeah Isabel, anyone would be lucky to marry me, a thirty-year old clean freak who is gone for most of the year and yet to lose his virginity, a real catch I am.” Levi deadpans.

Isabel shakes his head and embraces him, “Well no matter what you think about yourself Levi, I still think you are the best big brother in the world, and I love you so much.”

Levi allows himself a secret smile and pats her head lovingly, “I love you too, both of you.”

+++

“Levi? Are you alright? You haven’t said anything for a while.”

Levi feels himself being pulled from his memory, leaving him rather dazed and feeling slightly vulnerable. He looks up to find Rogue looking at him from in front of her mirror, assessing him with a mixture of concern and uncertainty on her face.

“I’m fine.” He says, “Ready to go? That dress suits you, you should wear that.” Levi says, picking up his jacket and heading out of the bedroom.

“Oh….I um….changed, but okay.” Rogue mutters, smoothing out the pantleg of her jumpsuit, and following Levi’s lead all the way out to the car.

The drive to Jean and Marco’s is tense and awkward to say the least, Rogue isn’t sure if she’s allowed to say anything, Levi hasn’t said a word since leaving the house and eyes have been completely fixed to the road, not even glancing once in her direction. She decides to test the waters as they come closer to their destination.

“You doing okay there, handsome? You’ve been awfully quiet tonight.” She asks hesitantly.

“Like I said at the house, I’m fine.” He says, “But I’ve been thinking and it’s probably best that you go to this dinner by yourself. I’ll come by and pick you up later to take you home.”

“Oh, well…I mean, if that’s what you want then I guess…” Rogue says, trying not to sound too disappointed by Levi’s change of heart.

They arrive at the house in no time at all, and Levi offers no form of goodbye, simply waiting for Rogue to vacate the car so that he can make a quick exit. Rogue doesn’t take the bait and turns to him before she leaves.

“Did I do something wrong Levi? Everything was fine earlier today, and then you started acting weird. If I did something wrong….” Rogue attempts to say but is cut off.

“No Rogue, despite what you may think, not everything is actually about you.” Levi says, glaring daggers directly at her.

“All I’m saying is that if I’ve done anything to make you uncomfortable…”

“Uncomfortable? Are you shitting me right now brat? Your whole existence makes me uncomfortable, or have I not made that clear up until now?! Look at you, you’re a joke!” Levi yells at her, hands gripping the steering wheel until his knuckles turn white.

“Fuck you Levi! You know, I actually thought we were getting somewhere, despite your obvious reservations. I thought we could have been friends!” Rogue says, her lip trembling slightly and her voice shaking as she tries to keep herself composed.

At the worst possible time, Maria exits the house and makes her way to the open passenger window of the car and sticks her head in.

“Hey guys! Why y’all sitting out here? The food and the party are inside! It’s not exactly cold but I don’t want y’all catching your death out here!” She says with a warm smile.

“Levi won’t be joining us tonight, so it’ll just be me.” Rogue says, not quite making eye contact with Maria. Maria, however, doesn’t get the hint and questions further.

“Aww, are you sure Levi? There’s a plate here with your name on it, Sasha made more of her meatloaf that you loved so much!”

“Honestly Maria, I’m just feeling very tired right now, I would rather just go back to my room and come back to get Rogue later.” Levi insists, but Maria is not ready to take no for an answer.

“If you’re tired Levi, we’ve got a little room set up in the den, you’re more than welcome…”

“What part of “no” don’t you people understand?!” Levi roars, “You can never just leave people alone, no matter how much we say no or that we don’t want it, you always have to just force yourself on us, don’t you?! I want no part of your freakshow and that’s the end of it! Rogue, just get out of the car and I’ll come and get you later.” He says firmly.

“Don’t bother Levi! I’ll be staying here tonight with my family!” Rogue argues, angry tears running down her face and streaking her once perfect make-up, and steps out of the car. Maria wraps her up in her arms quickly as they walk off in the direction of the house.

“Suit yourself!” He calls after her, before starting the car and speeding off, deliberately not looking behind him.

Rogue sobs openly and clings on to Maria like a vice, “I don’t know what I did to make him so angry! I thought he was beginning to like me, that he didn’t hate me for being this way…I know it's only been a couple days, but I can't help it...” she trails off.

“I don’t think it’s you that he’s angry with honey, I think he’s got a couple issues he’s not been dealing with properly. You know he reminds me a lot of you in a way. Let him come to you, and don’t let this be a reason for you to push him away. Whatever’s goin on in that head of his, only he can know that, but you gotta be there for him when he wants to finally talk about it.” Maria implores, comforting her young friend.

“What…makes you think he’d… even want to talk to me… about anything?” She asks between sniffles.

“Call it a gut feeling, but a good one.” Maria says soothingly, arm wrapped around Rogue’s shoulders as they enter the house together.

+++

Levi hadn’t even recognised where he was driving to, couldn’t even recall typing the address into the Sat-Nav, barely knew what he was doing until he arrived at the house, the one he’d promised himself he would go nowhere near once he’d moved to Shiganshina.

Yet, here he sits, staring at the house that belonged to his sister and childhood friend. The one they had bought together when they found out they were having a baby, the one they had moved into as soon as they were married…the one they died in not 3 months later.

Levi stares at the house some more, he looks at it for what feels like hours, until he can barely see it anymore. Until the tears flood his eyes and he can control his grief no longer.

Chapter Text

Chapter 10

Five days.

Five days it’s been since Levi heard from Eren. Or Rogue for that matter.

After their fight on Sunday evening, Levi had picked Eren up on the dreary Monday afternoon to take him home. He hadn’t given the kid much of an option really, simply texted Eren that he was on his way and that he should be ready to go by the time Levi arrived.

To his credit, Eren was waiting on the door step as Levi pulled up to the drive, carrying an overnight bag that he hadn’t brought with him. Most likely carrying his outfit from the previous evening, as Eren was now dressed in a pair of clean sweats, a black T-shirt and sneakers. He also wore a pair of sunglasses, whether he did this due to a hangover or to try and hide his red-rimmed eyes, Levi couldn’t be sure. Probably a mixture of both.

He wordlessly got into the car and stared out of the window for the whole ride to his place, which was surprising in itself as Levi had been anticipating a screaming match at the very least, getting fired on the spot at worst. Instead, the sullen boy said nothing. Not a word, and Levi didn’t dare disturb the silence.

Upon arriving at his house, Eren exited the car as quickly he could, not giving Levi a chance to even say goodbye. And not 10 minutes later, Levi received a text message from Eren saying that he would be taking a short “vacation” and that he would call Levi when he’s needed again.

It’s now Saturday morning, and Levi still hasn’t heard anything. But that hasn’t stopped him constantly thinking about the brat.

To fill the gaps in his day, Levi has been apartment hunting. He has a week left at his hotel, then he’ll have to start paying for the room by himself if he hasn’t found a suitable living arrangement. And Levi’s standards are high to say the least. Most of the apartments so far have had far too many flaws for him to keep a proper record of, and the decent ones he’s seen are far too expensive for him to be able to afford by himself. He would need to get a roommate to help him with living costs, and that’s not something he wants to do again any time soon.

Shiganshina has become an expensive place to live in the last couple of years, Isabel and Farlan were lucky to get the three-bedroom detached house they had at the time. Lucky being a very loose term he would use, considering the circumstances…

Levi’s attention is caught by his phone ringing, and the ID confirms that the caller is his boss. He sucks in a breath and mentally prepares for the earful he’s no doubt going to get.

“Hey Erwin.”

“Levi! Glad I caught you this morning, there’s something quite important we need to discuss.” Erwin says, sounding a bit distracted.

“Look, whatever the kid or whoever has told you, just know that I plan on apologising for it. That night I got thinking about Izzy and Farlan, and I was in a horrible mood, and I know that’s no excuse but at the same time….” Levi rattles off before he is abruptly interrupted.

“Whoa! Levi slow down, I can barely understand a word you’re saying. I was just calling because I got those search results back on Eren and his family.” Erwin says, the confusion highly obvious in his voice.

Levi lets out a sigh of relief he hadn’t realised he’d been holding.

“Well that took you long enough! What did you manage to find?” Levi asks.

“Hang on a second Levi, right now I’m far more interested in what you have to say.” Erwin enquires, seriously but with an unmistakeable hint of amusement. Levi cringes inwardly before he responds.

“I…had a bit of an altercation with the brat last week. I hadn’t been thinking straight and I lashed out, I take full responsibility for my actions. Anyway, the kid got a bit upset and I haven’t heard from him since. I fully intended to resolve the situation tonight as it’s been a while, but then you rang and well, I was certain you were calling to chew me out.” Levi admits sheepishly.

“Well, I hadn’t been informed of anything I can assure you, and I can’t lie and say I’m surprised that you two have clashed. What I will say though is that I hope you do take the initiative to fix the situation, and promptly.” Erwin says, back in serious boss-mode.

“Understood, sir.”

“Now, back to why I called. I did a little digging like you asked and I’ve come up a blank on anything suspicious related to Eren’s family. From what I can see they’re squeaky clean. Eren’s father is a renowned surgeon with a fantastic reputation within the community and that’s putting it lightly. His mother is a housewife but very well known in the political scene, she does a lot of campaigning for women’s rights and LGBT recognition and has run many a successful rally in the last few years. And lastly his sister is a mechanic for a local business, not much is known about her other than that she was adopted by the Jaegers when she was a child due to her parents unfortunately passing away in an accident. Tragic really.” Erwin finishes, and Levi can’t help but feel slightly regretful at the memory of how he and Mikasa had met.

“Okay, so that’s my theory on his family life in the shitter. But there’s got to be a reason he was never home. What about Eren’s background check?” Levi asks.

“Well this is where things get really interesting, Eren’s own record is far less than squeaky clean. Just as you suspected, he was suspended numerous times from school due to violence and violent outburst towards his peers and a couple of teachers. He was allowed to come back after every time as his parents would vouch for him whenever permanent expulsion was on the cards. But that’s not the interesting part.” Erwin says.

“Oh? Well then enlighten me, what is the interesting part?” Levi asks, feigning indifference.

“Eren has been arrested by the police officially on two separate occasions, but he was never charged, only received a caution and both have since been removed from his file. One because of his age, he was 16 at the time of his arrest and it was formally removed when he turned 18. The other was when Eren was 18, but the charges were dropped due to a lack of evidence and the file was sealed.” Erwin explains.

“That’s not too surprising, a lot of kids get in to all kinds of trouble when they’re young, too dumb and reckless for their own good. Eren sure fits that bill.” Levi says non-chalant, knowing full well the kind of bother teenagers can get themselves into, having first hand experience of that himself.

“Obviously I’m well aware of that, but it’s the type of charges Eren faced that I’m interested in. The one when he was 16 was for possession of Class B drugs, Cannabis to be specific. He was arrested but in the end was only given a caution as he’d somehow managed to convince everyone that it had been unknowingly planted on him and he wasn’t planning to use or sell it. His drug tests at the time came back clear.” Erwin states.

“Managed to convince? You almost sound like you’ve judged the kid as guilty yourself, Erwin.” Levi half jokes.

“Well that’s because just over half a year later, Eren dropped out of school and did a stint in rehab for a Cocaine addiction.” Erwin confirms.

“Shit, seriously?” Levi asks, truly shocked, “I mean the kid is definitely a lot of things, but I’d never had him pegged as a Cokehead.”

“That’s because he isn’t, well not anymore at least. He was in rehab at the age of 17 for a period of 10 months. He managed to kick the habit completely and hasn’t had any recorded instances of drug usage since. When he returned, he did a year at community college and started working as a drag queen at Maria’s bar at the same time.”

“I’ve gotta admit, I’m rather impressed. It takes years for recovering addicts to fully quit, sometimes they don’t ever.” Levi says, remembering the issues his own mom had with drugs when he was growing up. Levi had never openly admitted it, but his stunted growth had a lot to do with his mother’s substance abuse when she had been pregnant with him, so he knows first-hand what living with addiction could look like.

“But wait…” Levi begins, suddenly remembering Erwin’s earlier words, “…you said he was arrested again when he was 18? What was that for?”

“Before I tell you, you need to promise you’ll stay calm. I’m serious Levi.” Erwin warns.

“Cut the shit Erwin, just tell me what it is. I could always report you for using your old military clearances to get all of this information. How many privacy laws did you have to break to get this stuff?” Levi threatens.

“Fine, but you know that I don’t seek out or use this information unless it’s completely necessary, so that’s a cheap shot.” Erwin literally whines before finally answering Levi’s question.

“The charge was for suspected prostitution.”

Levi is silent, not trusting himself to say a thing, until Erwin breaks him out of his reverie.

“Levi…. You still there?” Erwin questions tentatively.

“The charge…was for fucking WHAT NOW?” Levi snaps dangerously.

“The charge…it was prostitution…but it was dropped Levi, they had no evidence to support the claim and there was…” Erwin manages before he is cut off.

“Thank you for letting me know Erwin, but I now have a couple of errands to run. Goodbye.”

“Levi wai….” Levi hangs up the phone before Erwin can argue further.

He doesn’t bother to change out of his casual clothing, consisting of a pair of dark blue jeans, a lilac shirt and a button up cardigan, instead simply gathers up his necessary belongings, puts on his shoes and leaves his hotel room.

He is in his car in an instant, driving in the direction of Eren’s house.

+++

Levi knocks Eren’s door and calls into him twice but is completely ignored. All of the lights and appliances are off but he knows Eren is home, he’s not stupid, reconnaissance was literally his career for 14 years of his life. He’s spent his life hunting down and negotiating with some of the most dangerous enemies in existence, he’s sure he can tell when a dumb kid is holing up in his house specifically to avoid confronting him.

After a few more attempts, Levi is done being accommodating and bangs on the front door, strongly and consistently, until he can hear Eren inside cursing to himself and unlocking the bolts on the door.

As the door opens, Eren appears in the doorway looking a little worse for wear. He has on the same sleep shorts and T-shirt combo he had been wearing the morning he and Levi had first officially met, so he’s hit with a strange sense of Déjà vu. Except this time, in addition to his relaxed ensemble, Eren still adorns a pair of dark sunglasses.

“Hangover?” Levi asks, voice clipped, and arms folded in annoyance.

Eren shakes his head in response, “Migraine, they happen sometimes. Just come on in, the sunlight is killing my head.”

Okay, so maybe the brat hadn’t been hiding from him intentionally, not completely at least. Levi follows Eren into the house and attempts to manoeuvre his way around the house in the dim light, a task proving much more difficult than he would have thought, considering how tidy Eren keeps his home.

“I’m going to assume you’re not here for a social call.” Eren says, “Considering how we left things the other day.”

“The other day?” Levi asks incredulously, “Try five days ago brat, and you’d be right.”

“Five days? Damn, I hadn’t realised. These last a couple days and I end up losing track of everything. But anyway, what did you want to talk about?” Eren asks, his head bowed and fingers massaging his temples.

Levi considers taking pity on the kid’s fragile state and leaving the conversation for another day, but instead, he finds himself blurting the words out before he can stop them.

“I know that you’re a prostitute.” And immediately, he wants to take them back.

Eren’s head snaps up and he looks at Levi incredulously. He removes his sunglasses and switches on a nearby lamp. Levi can see from the look in his eyes that he’s absolutely livid.

“Excuse me?!” Eren demands, hands clenched into fists. A part of Levi wants to throw his hands up in surrender and request Eren simply forget all about it, but it’s too late for that now.

“You heard what I said brat, I don’t need to repeat it.” Levi says, looking up at Eren, as poised and articulate as ever.

“I can’t believe this bullshit. First, you say all of those horrible things to me out of nowhere just as I’m about to spend a lovely night with my closest friends and family, which I invited you to! Then you drive away and leave me without saying a word until you text me the next day demanding that I’m ready to leave when you deem it acceptable. And now, you’ve turned up to my home uninvited and practically banging down my front door, accusing me of selling my body like a common whore? Who the HELL do you think you are?!” Eren all but screeches at Levi, who is left uncomfortable but not visibly so.

“Hey, you told me to leave you alone! I wanted to talk and sort things out after everything happened, but you were the one that ignored me and said you wanted to take a vacation. Five days I’ve been waiting to hear from you, and nothing, so you know what I did? I had my company look you up. I know everything Eren. I know about your suspensions, I know about your drug problem and I know about your arrests, and what they were for. So, don’t you stand there and lie to me.” Levi spits, seething and red in the face.

They stare at eachother, neither really wanting to back down. But despite all his stubbornness, Eren caves first. He pinches the bridge of his nose, hard, and sighs but remains quiet. Levi breaks the silence.

“What are you thinking right now?”

“What I’m thinking….is that I’m going to write a very strongly worded letter to your company and make a formal complaint. The background search, fair enough, I get why. What I don’t get is how you guys managed to open legally sealed files for charges on me that were dropped and shouldn’t exist anymore.” Eren says, raising a perfectly plucked eyebrow at Levi.

“We…. had access to some rather in-depth content back in the Military… it’s just never been revoked.” Levi mutters, examining his nails in an effort to look casual. He hopes his admission doesn’t have too many consequences for his friend.

“You don’t say.” Eren retorts, looking a little annoyed but this time with a tinge of amusement in his tone, “But before I make any calls or write any letters, I’m going to get a large bottle of wine or two, a couple glasses and we’re going to talk this out like adults. Something we should have done days ago.”

“Seriously brat? Alcohol? After what I just said.” Levi questions bemusedly as Eren moves to the kitchen and opens a cupboard.

“I might have had a drug addiction in the past, it’s true.” Eren admits, “But believe me when I say that I have some pretty damned good self-control. I know when enough is enough, and a couple glasses of red is gonna do me no harm.” He offers Levi an empty wine glass.

“You know kid, technically I’m still on the clock.” Levi says, plucking the glass from Eren’s outstretched hand.

“Yeah, but you’re on my clock. And on my clock, it’s drinking time!” Eren jokes, sending a sly smirk in Levi’s direction before walking over to a comfortable looking beige three-seat sofa, sitting cross legged on the far end and patting the spot next to him.

“Better get yourself comfortable short-stack, because it’s story time. I told you when we first met that I would be completely honest with you, so this is me, cards on the table. I’ll answer anything you want to know as truthfully as I can.” Eren promises as he looks Levi dead in the eye, still absentmindedly stroking his sofa.

Levi takes a deep breath in and lets it out slowly, grabs the wine bottle from the table and pours himself a large helping. He sits on the opposite end of the sofa and tries to relax as much as possible.

“Okay Eren, I’m listening.”

Chapter Text

Chapter 11

“I had a great childhood growing up,” Eren begins, “My parents were amazing, and I never wanted for anything, I was their special boy and they loved me so much. Anybody could look into my life from the outside and think it was perfect, that I was spoiled even, and I guess I was in many ways. And then when Mikasa was adopted, they just seemed to love us both even more if it was possible, we were both their pride and joy.”

Levi nurses his glass of wine as he listens intently to Eren speak. Eren alternates between looking into his own glass, at his crossed legs or directly at Levi, rolling the glass between his hands anxiously the whole time.

“But as I reached my mid-teens, everything changed in my head. Regardless of how much love they gave me, or all of the things they bought me or how highly they spoke of me, I never felt like I deserved it. Because I could never be the perfect child they wanted. I wouldn’t go into medicine like my dad had hoped, I wouldn’t get married to a gorgeous woman or have their beautiful grandchildren, at least not biologically. Because I was 16 years old, gay and absolutely terrified.

I had always noticed the good-looking boys in school, I noticed the pretty girls too, but it wasn’t until I was maybe about 14 or 15 that I realised I wasn’t looking at the girls in the way I should have been. My hormones were all over the place and my teenage body was always in over-drive, as anybody in puberty is, but my head wasn’t filled with soft skin, large breasts and curved hips. Instead my fantasies consisted of strong arms, washboard abs, chapped lips and hard dicks. It both excited me and frightened me.

I thought I wasn’t normal, that there was something wrong with me, so I dealt with it in the only way I knew how. I buried it as deep as I could and tried to make myself forget. Clearly that turned out spectacularly.” Eren chuckles and Levi softens, crossing a leg over the other and leaning back in his seat.

“As you can imagine, over time it got harder and harder to hide my feelings. My art wasn’t providing me with the outlet I needed anymore. I got so frustrated by it all and I was so mad at myself. I was always angry that I couldn’t just be like all of the other boys, chasing after the cheerleaders and wolf whistling at any pretty girl I saw, but the lust I thought I should have just wasn’t there. I had crushes on half the football and basketball team, the shy boys in my classes, the artsy types that didn’t like to socialise, even some of my guy teachers. They all made mental appearances in my bed late at night when I was all alone…but you probably don’t want to hear about all that.” Eren says blushing scarlet.

“Just tell me what you want to tell me. Help me to understand.” Levi urges, sipping on his wine.

“I never did act on any of my urges, and eventually all of my pent-up frustration and anger at myself just began to boil over into my social life. I joined a gang to try and make myself look tough and I became friends with Historia, soon we pretended to date because she knew exactly what I was going through. I started using my fists instead of my head more often than not and got into a lot of trouble. I hurt lot of other kids bad and got knocked on my ass more times than I can even begin to count. I even punched my math teacher that I really liked because he touched my knee after class one day. He’d only been trying to help, my grades had been slipping badly and he was pushing for me to talk about what was going on. I guess I must have looked pretty pathetic. That was the first time I got suspended from school.

My parents were mad, of course, but more than that they wanted to get to the bottom of why I did it. They had seen my temper get worse and worse over time, and they couldn’t get why such a happy child with a tonne of friends and a lovely girlfriend all of a sudden became so violent and angry at the world. They offered up all their help and support, even suggested that they could pay for a therapist to help me with how I was feeling. That just made me feel terrible. I was becoming a horror and they still just wanted to help me. I felt like a fraud and couldn’t bear to be in the house anymore. I couldn’t bear to see their hurt any longer.” Eren reminisces, looking forlorn and regretful. Levi just listens, resisting the urge to pat the boy on the back or squeeze his shoulder in reassurance.

“I spent the majority of my time away from home after that. The gang I’d joined were notorious troublemakers and petty criminals at the time. I was the youngest at the time and the eldest was 19 going on 20, he was our leader of sorts. He was also Historia’s brother, so he knew me quite well with the amount of time I’d spend at their house just to hang out. I was tall for my age, so I didn’t look too out of place. My height gave me an edge when it came to fights and I was fast, so it was easy to steal things and get out quickly. I gained their respect quickly, they trusted me and soon they gave me the responsibility of selling marijuana near local clubs.”

“It was one night while I was out scouring the town for places to ‘set up shop’ that I came across Maria’s bar. I had never been in a gay bar before never mind seen one, but I saw couples walking in together, guys and girls, hand in hand without a care in the world. I couldn’t help myself, I had to see inside for myself. Back then security wasn’t as strict as it should have probably been, so I managed to get in no problem. There was a drag act on stage at the time, the club was full of same-sex couples kissing and dancing together, touching and looking so happy. The feeling I got taking everything in was electric. I was hooked. Unfortunately, Maria found me about an hour in to the night and kicked me out.” Eren laughs softly, and Levi remembers Marco telling him the exact same thing on their first meeting.

“But you kept coming back?” Levi asks amused, his lips quirking up at the corner. Eren chuckles.

“Yes, I kept coming back. And kept getting kicked out until Maria got tired of it and told me I could stay. She could have called the cops at any time to take me home, but I kept taking the chance and she never did it. The condition was that I had to be kept under the watchful eye of Jean. Fucking horseface. He’s my friend but I could have killed him back then, he wasn’t any happier about the situation than I was, and he let me know it. He kept making remarks that Maria could adopt a puppy if she was so insistent on taking in strays and he nicknamed me the ‘suicidal bastard.’

Maria’s became a second home to me in no time and that soon included Jean and Marco’s apartment too. They lived on the outskirts of town and if they had a day off, I would go to them after I’d finished stealing or selling for the night. They didn’t ask questions, they learned not to after the first few times they tried, and we became so close. They’re like brothers to me now, they were there when times were really hard. All of my school friends eventually met them too and we all became the best of friends. Those are some of my best memories.” Eren’s whole demeanour shifts as he takes a deep breath before speaking again.

“After a few months of selling, I got caught and arrested. Someone had told the cops about a kid that was dealing weed at night to club-goers and I fit the description pretty perfectly, they were just waiting for me to show up. I had gotten on my knees and begged for them to believe that I was innocent and that the drugs in my satchel were planted there. They weren’t falling for it but after a quick look at my record and which family I was from, they were more inclined to believe me. Despite being in a gang, I had managed to stay out of trouble with the law pretty damn well. Dad showed up not long after and persuaded the officers to let me off with a warning, that I was a good kid and there was no way I could be a drug dealer. They let me go a couple hours later with a caution that’d be wiped from my record when I turned 18.

I was banned from leaving the house after school for further notice, but I still snuck out every night, despite Mikasa begging me to stay and telling our parents when I left. The guys were so impressed that I managed to avoid juvie for my dealing that they trusted me with something even bigger. Selling cocaine. And that’s where my problems really started.” Eren looks at Levi before downing the rest of his wine and pouring another full glass. Levi simply waits and holds his glass out for a refill.

“I started to find it really difficult balancing my school work with my dealing and going to the club at night. I fell behind tremendously with my grades, which was nothing too new but this time even my art and design work was failing. Art was my passion and I couldn’t bear to let it get even worse, I had to get my head straight and it had to be a quick recovery for me to pass my year. But I was so tired, I could barely keep myself awake at night and I had no inspiration. It was falling apart in front of my eyes and there was nothing I could do. Until I had an idea.

I came to an agreement with the leader which would allow me to keep a portion of my product for a price. The price being that I would join them for raids. The gang was becoming braver and began breaking into known rich people’s houses while they were on vacation and even mugging people in the streets if it looked like they were wearing expensive clothing. It’s not what I wanted to do, and I knew it wasn’t right, but I saw myself with no option if I wanted to pick up the pace with my schoolwork.

I started snorting cocaine every few nights to keep myself awake at night and to allow me to focus on my art, and it worked for a while, until it wasn’t enough anymore. I began using once every night, then once at night and once during the day, and then twice, and then I started losing count of how many lines I needed to allow myself to get through the day. It got to the stage that I didn’t even care about art anymore, I just couldn’t stop using, and I didn’t want to either.” Eren doesn’t look at Levi when he speaks anymore, just looks at his hands wrapped around his glass, tapping absentmindedly at it.

“It stayed this way for a couple months; Mom and Dad didn’t know why I was walking around looking like a zombie and half dead to the world constantly. I wasn’t getting into as much trouble at school because I could actually keep up a decent social life with the coke, my friends just had to ignore that I didn’t look like myself those days. But I was running out of my personal stash quicker and quicker each time I restocked. I was desperate for more and had to pay for it if I wanted extra, the guys would know otherwise, so I needed money. I started mugging poor old ladies in the street, I held young mothers at knifepoint for their grocery money and snuck out late at night to break into people’s homes. One night I was going out and Mikasa tried to stop me, so I smacked her across the face with my keys. She still has a scar on her face to this day. I was the worst kind of scum.”

“Drugs turn people into the worst possible versions of themselves. I’ve seen it happen. It’s not the person’s fault, they have an addiction and they can’t just pull themselves together over night. They do things that they’d never consider themselves capable of, and they become unrecognisable even to themselves. Don’t be so hard on yourself kid, you’re not the first young person to go off the rails and you certainly won’t be the last.” Levi says, trying to provide Eren with some form of verbal comfort, considering his broken expression.

Eren nods solemnly, “I won’t lie to you, I did consider selling my virginity for money, but in the end that was a line I just refused to cross. I didn’t fully realise how bad my problem had gotten until one night I went on a raid with the guys, there were about 5 of us. I’d been on raids before but nothing like this one. I…. I had my eyes opened that night. People died Levi, people who shouldn’t even have been there… and I couldn’t stop it… there was nothing I could do …. her eyes … she was so cold…. the blood…there was just so much of it…. it stains my skin, even now …. I’m so sorry…. I can’t talk about this anymore.” He says through fast falling tears and hiccups. Levi immediately wraps an arm around the sobbing boy and hands him a tissue from his cardigan pocket. Eren blows his nose, wipes his eyes and leans into Levi’s touch.

“Listen to me kid, I don’t need the details and you might now believe me, but I know gang life pretty well. It was a different time for me, but things don’t change when it comes to shit like that. I was in a gang growing up, I know the kind of shit that happens, and it changes you. But it’s how it changes you that really counts, you’ve come out the other end completely intact. Remember that, kid.”

“I don’t tell anybody about that night. Only a handful of people actually know what really happened and I plan on keeping it that way. But I just want you to know that I got my shit together after the raid, I left the gang, not that I had much of a choice really, and vowed to quit drugs entirely. I came out to my parents and do you know what they said? They said that they already knew, that they had always known, and they were just waiting for me to pluck up the courage to tell them. I spent so much of my life trying to desperately hide something they were already aware of. And on top of everything else, Mikasa was dating Annie and they had already known and accepted them as a couple. I was so caught up with everything that I hadn’t even realised my sister was into girls and out to our family.

Telling my parents about the drugs was one of the hardest things I ever had to do, and the worst part was that they blamed themselves for it. They thought that if they had just come to me and told me that they knew I was gay, none of it would have happened. But how could they have known? They thought I was just being a difficult teen. There was no way for them to know the extent of what was going wrong when even I didn’t know. I told them how I was desperate to quit and within the week they had me accepted as a resident in one of the best rehabilitation centres in the country.”

Eren looks up at Levi with a sad smile and Levi removes his arm, settling back in his original spot on the sofa as Eren wipes away his remaining tears.

“Rehab was tough, it was a difficult 10 months and I constantly wanted to go home, but I did it. The night of the raid was always on my mind, so that helped get me through the worst of it. And when I came home, I went to community college so I could stay close to Mom, Dad and Mikasa, I did a beauty course with Historia that lasted about a year. Being in rehab gave me time to think a lot about what I wanted out of life, and I had my family and friends to help me, my real friends. Marco put me in drag for the first time at a party as a joke, but I immediately fell in love. Rogue gave me a brand-new lease of life and I’ve never looked back since. I started performing at the club every now and then until I was offered a permanent spot, and when Historia opened up her own Salon, she gave me a job with no questions asked, and now here I am. 3 and a half years cocaine free.” Eren says proudly.

Levi can’t help but feel proud also, he didn’t know Eren back then, but the sense of achievement he must have felt when he managed to change his life must have been immense. But despite feeling happy for the kid, there’s still something niggling at the back of his head.

“While I’m happy for you for managing to get your shit together, you still haven’t explained why you were arrested for prostitution, brat.” Levi remarks with a questioning glance.

Eren rolls his eyes and huffs, “Crap, I was hoping you’d forgotten about that…”

“Not a chance kid, spill.” Levi says.

“Okay, but before I tell you, you have to promise not to laugh at me. Everybody laughs at me.” Eren says, looking slightly uncomfortable.

“Why would I laugh at you? It’s not exactly a laughing matter.”

“Ugh, fine. So, I told you that I went to college with Historia right?” Eren asks.

“Right?”

“Well, she and Ymir were dating steadily at this point and living in an apartment nearby. Historia still didn’t want her parents to know that she was gay, so they used a cover story of them being roommates, so I wasn’t needed as the boyfriend stand-in anymore.” Eren explains.

“Where is this going brat? Is there a point?” Levi questions, impatiently.

“I’m getting to it, jeez!” Eren grumbles, “Anyway, by this point they had been dating since they were 15, so they had only ever been with each other and never once questioned their love. However, 3 years is an awful long time for a pair of 18 years olds to date with no real experience outside what they were used to. So, to put it bluntly, they wanted to experiment with a man. A man that they trusted no less, with no real threat to their relationship.…”

It takes Levi a few seconds before he makes the connection.

“Oh…. I see. So, you and them….” Levi stutters a little before Eren steps in.

“Not in the way you’re thinking no, I was still certain I was gay but I was still a teenager with my own curiosities. We planned it all in advance, and we agreed that there would be no penetration, and I wasn’t too certain I could umm…. perform on the evening anyway, so we just said we would see where it took us naturally.

I used my mouth and fingers on both of them, pleasured them for hours if I remember correctly. It was an exhilarating experience, knowing I could take them apart so easily, and the control it gave me made me power hungry. It wasn’t sexually arousing to me in the slightest and I didn’t get off until I was alone later that night, but I found out that evening that I love eating girls out.” Eren cackles as he notes Levi’s grimace at the term.

“Dude, you work at a gay bar, you’re gonna need to have a thicker skin than that. I’m pretty tame compared to other queens.”

“Shut up brat, anyway, go on.” Levi says, huffing into his wine.

“Well, we decided to make it a more regular arrangement. Friends with benefits if you like, although my benefits weren’t of the sexual nature. Instead they offered to make me dinner or Historia would tutor me on coursework for free or they’d pay for some things that I wanted for starting out as Rogue. I felt like it was a pretty good deal. I was sometimes in drag, sometimes not…. we tried a lot together, even if my involvement was totally to make them feel good, looking back I’m glad I got to be a part of it.” Eren says, looking nostalgic.

“It ended after a little while, I wasn’t part of their relationship and soon there wasn’t a need for me anymore. And that was okay. But somehow word got out about the arrangement we had, and soon I had a couple girls propositioning me for something similar. They were single college girls and knew that I was gay, so were just looking to relieve some stress and blow off some steam. I enjoyed doing it for Historia and Ymir immensely, so I agreed. There were four girls I saw altogether, although it changed to three after one got into a relationship.”

“Okay, so you…. fooled around with bunch of girls at college? How has that got anything to do with you being arrested?” Levi asks confused.

“Well…basically, one of our lecturers overheard Anka, one of the girls I was seeing, ask about me coming over that night and he heard her offer to help me pay for a pair of shoes I really wanted for Rogue that were too expensive for me to afford alone. I told her it was too much, but she insisted that my time was well worth it. He went straight to the faculty head, who called me to his office and told me he was treating the incident as a form of prostitution, because if the roles had been reversed and I had been a girl with a bunch of guys, that’s exactly how it would have been viewed. The police were then called and I was arrested on suspicion of prostitution.

My dad came to the station, again, and I told him all about what had been happening…. and he laughed at me. The situation was too ridiculous for him to take seriously but he had to compose himself before talking to the officers about my charges. They weren’t willing to budge, but to my surprise, Historia turned up with another of the girls I had an arrangement with. She explained how she was a lesbian and that she was experimenting with me, she felt bad that she couldn’t go through with us having sex that she bought me a present to say sorry. The other girl backed the story up and said that me and her were dating, and that the stuff she bought me were gifts as a girlfriend to a boyfriend. There wasn’t enough evidence to state otherwise, so my charges were dropped, and it was agreed that the incident would remain as a sealed file off my record. That’s all.” Eren finishes, looking down at his lap before peeking at Levi’s face. His expression is unreadable.

“So, you mean to tell me brat that you, a gay man, got arrested for having unreciprocated oral sex with a bunch of lesbians and lonely girls in exchange for non-sexual favours?” Levi asks in disbelief.

“As ridiculous as it sounds…. yeah.” Eren replies. Levi is silent for about half a minute before he bursts into fits of laughter. Eren scowls as Levi grabs his sides for support.

“That is literally the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. God, you’re such an idiot.” Levi continues laughing and Eren huffs for a total of 2 seconds before he starts laughing too. They have to put down their wine glasses in fear of spilling it everywhere.

“Okay, I have to ask, who was the other girl that vouched for you? I get why Historia was there, but the other girl didn’t have to be. It could have ruined her whole reputation if that shit got out.” Levi asks.

“It was Sasha.” Eren laughs, “We actually became really good friends while we were involved. She would tell me about all of the boys she liked and I would give her my own opinion on them, and she would cook for me too. She was doing a culinary course at college, she’s a real foodie, which is how she ended up getting hired by Marco when I introduced them. She met Connie through me too, and they’ve been married for about 2 years and have a kid.”

“Wow, are there any of your female friends that you haven’t actually been involved with then?” Levi jokes.

“Shut up! It was just those three!” Eren says as he slaps Levi playfully on the shoulder, “Also, you should have trusted me when I told you that I was a virgin! How can someone be a prostitute and a virgin at the same time?”

“I don’t know genius, you tell me as you seem to have managed it.” Levi chuckles softly.

Eren barks a laugh and lifts his wine glass once again for a further refill, filling up Levi’s near empty glass in the process.

“Now, we’ve talked about me for quite some time tonight. What about you then?” Eren asks, taking a sip from his glass.

“What about me?” Levi asks in reply, feeling a tiny tingle of playfulness from his third glass of wine.

“Tell me something about you, I want to know your story. Or a chapter of it at least.”

“Tch, I wouldn’t know where to start brat, I’m old.”

“Why don’t you tell me why you got so mad last week? You were joking around with me just fine the whole day and then you snapped. What happened Levi?” Eren prompts.

“That’s not a good story, you wouldn’t want to hear it.” Levi answers, looking sadly at Eren.

“Levi, I’ve just spend the last god knows how long talking to you about the lowest points in my life, I promise there’s nothing you could tell me that I wouldn’t’ want to hear about.” Eren assures him, placing a hand on Levi’s arm.

“Be careful what you wish for, brat.” Levi says, before taking a large gulp of wine, “If you must know, when Rogue was trying on clothes in front of the mirror, it reminded me of my little sister when she was trying on the dress for her rehearsal dinner.”

“Okay, well let’s expand on that.” Eren says, encouragingly. Levi breathes in and exhales slowly before speaking again.

“My sister, Isabel, she was the light of my life. I loved her more than anything in the world. She was my kid sister, you see. There was only 4 and a half years between us, but she always had such a childlike outlook on the world that I always thought of her as such. But she was getting married about 4 and a half years ago, to my childhood best friend Farlan no less, and she was so excited. The thing is, she was pregnant at the time of her rehearsal dinner and was paranoid that she’d become too fat for her dress.” Levi breathes out a rueful laugh, “Tch, she wasn’t even 3 months gone, her bump was barely there. But it didn’t matter, she had to look perfect.”

“I can’t help but notice that you talk about her in the past tense…” Eren notes, looking at Levi imploringly.

Levi nods, “That was the last night I ever saw her or Farlan alive.”

“Oh my god Levi, I’m so sorry. What happened to them?” Eren asks sadly.

“I was on duty when they got married, so I was halfway across the world and couldn’t be there to see them on the happiest day of their lives. I’ve watched the wedding video dozens of times in the last few years though, so I get to revel in just a little fraction of their joy, even if it’s just for a little while. They moved to Shiganshina right after they got married, they’d already bought a massive three-bedroom house ridiculously cheap and it was ready for them to move right on in when they returned from their honeymoon. Apparently, it had belonged to a high-profile banker who had since gone on the run for embezzlement, hence why it was so low in price. That’s where I went to after we fought, I wanted to see it.

They lived in that house for around three months, I constantly got updates on the progress of them painting the baby’s room and their new ridiculous decorations for the front room that Izzy no doubt picked.”

“Izzy?” Eren asks, looking slightly pale.

“Yeah, sorry, that was my name for her. I know it’s childish, but it just kind of stuck.” Levi explains , before continuing.

“Farlan was constantly saying how the house seemed too good to be true, and that thought was proven to be true. It was a February night when they became victims of a home invasion gone wrong. A kid, he was only about 20 at the time, broke into the house with a semi-automatic pistol, intending to raid the built in safe. It was mistaken identity, the kid must have thought that the corrupt banker was still living in the house, hoping to get a few grand out of it at the very least.

There wasn’t an awful lot of information available, but from what I’ve been told, Farlan came down the stairs first and was met with the kid brandishing the gun. He demanded Farlan open the safe and when he’d tried to explain that the kid was mistaken, he got smacked in the face with the butt of the gun. He begged for Isabel and the baby to be spared, and he opened the safe with the code he’d been given when they moved in. When the safe turned out to be empty, the kid went into a blind rage and shot Farlan three times in the chest and once in the head, killing him instantly. Izzy heard the gunshots from upstairs so rushed down and started screaming. The kid panicked and shot her as well. Twice in the chest, twice in the stomach and once in the arm. She died before the paramedics or the police even turned up. One of the shots ripped right through her uterus, there was no chance of saving the baby either.”

Levi lets his tears fall silently as he finishes the remainder of his wine and looks to Eren for the first time since opening up. Eren is pale white and looks to be on the edge of throwing up or sobbing uncontrollably, maybe both.

“Hey kid, I’m sorry, it’s been a long time since I’ve spoken to anyone about that, I should have warned you beforehand.” Levi begins to apologise.

“No! Don’t you dare apologise. I am so, so sorry that this happened to you, and to them. They sound like they were such a loving little family and they had everything laid out in front of them. Their future was cruelly stolen from them, and that’s something that can never be undone. I hope that whoever did this to them is suffering, that’s he’s sorry, that he remembers their faces for the rest of his days and knows that what he did was completely unforgiveable.” Eren says between tears holding on to Levi’s hand, “It’ll never bring them back, but you should be able to go on believing that at the very least.”

“They got the kid in the end. There was an anonymous tip from an unknown witness, told the police exactly what they saw and who it was. He was tried, pleaded guilty and he’s still in prison serving a life sentence with no chance of parole. I couldn’t even go to the court proceedings, but I was back in time for their funeral. It was probably better that way, I couldn’t look at the bastard’s face, I would still see it until this day if I had and would probably end up beating the shit out of anyone who looked remotely like him.” Levi says matter of fact.

After a moment of silence, simply holding eachother’s hand absentmindedly, Levi yawns and looks at his watch.

“Shit kid, it’s getting late, and I’m not in any condition to drive. I’ll call a cab and come pick up the car tomorrow morning.” Levi says, attempting to stand.

“Don’t be dumb, there’s a perfectly good spare bedroom for you to sleep in. Nobody ever stays in there, I stay at my parents when I visit, and Mika always sleeps on the couch for some reason. It’s pretty much completely unused.” Eren insists.

Levi wants to argue, but against his better judgement, he agrees and follows Eren through to the perfectly clean looking bedroom. Eren leaves him with a soft goodnight and tells him to just call if he needs anything. Normally, he would give the place the once over before even attempting to climb into bed, but with the amount of wine he’s consumed he’s feeling a little tipsy and simply strips off his cardigan, pants and shoes.

As he lays in the comfortable, queen-sized bed, he hazily contemplates the events of the day, and lets himself fall into a dreamless sleep.

+++

As Levi sleeps soundly in the other room, Eren paces his kitchen in a sheer panicked state.

He manages to calm down his breathing before he reaches hyperventilation and pulls out his cellphone.

The haze of his slightly drunken state makes it much harder to scroll and find the contact he’s looking for, but when he does, he hits the dial button right away.

“Come on, pick up, pick up!” he begs, as he waits for the person to answer their phone.

“Eren? What’s going on? It’s 1am, are you okay?” Historia asks anxiously.

“No…. not really no….I just spent the last few hours opening up to Levi.” Eren manages to explain.

“What happened? Did he not take it well?” She asks gently.

“No, he took it absolutely fine and that’s the problem. We got talking more and we were getting a lot more comfortable with eachother, it was nice. I was curious, so I asked him to tell me something about himself and he ended up telling me about his family.” Eren says, still trying to calm his erratic breathing, “He’s going to hate me Historia, he’s going to hate me, I just know it!”

“Eren, slow down, you’re not making sense. So, Levi was telling you about his family. I don’t understand, why would that make him hate you?” She asks bewildered.

Eren takes a long, sharp, deep breath before saying the words that had been practically screaming inside his head for the last hour or more.

“Because I think I killed his sister.”

Chapter Text

Chapter 12

“Because I think I killed his sister.”

The words hang in the air for long seconds, heavy and imposing, until Historia lets out a deep sigh,

“Eren, we’ve been over this a thousand times. You didn’t kill anyone, Urklyn killed those poor people, he was the one that pulled the trigger and left them to die, not you.” She insists.

“I may not have pulled the trigger but that doesn’t make me any less guilty ‘storia.” Eren says, running a hand through his already messy hair, “I went to their house that night, I did nothing as Urklyn and the others bust their way in and I kept watch as they robbed and murdered an innocent family.”

“Yes, because you were an addict and you were desperate, not because you wanted to do any of it! I know you Eren. You would never have done anything like that in your right mind.” She argues down the phone, “And despite all that, you still tried to save them. You stayed with that woman, didn’t you? You called an ambulance and stayed with her until it came because she asked you to!”

“Izzy. She told me that her big brother calls her Izzy.” He laughs ruefully, “She still died before the ambulance even turned up, took her last breath right in front of my eyes. And what did I do? I snuck out the back like a coward as the paramedics arrived to collect their corpses.” Eren sobs, using his free hand to rub at his eyes and wipe away the oncoming tears.

“You called the police! You came to Ymir and I that night, and you called the police! You made sure that Urklyn got what he deserved. He may be my brother Eren, but he was a nasty piece of work and he would have taken countless more innocent lives to get what he wanted if you hadn’t stopped him. I won’t pretend that I feel sorry for him, he’s vile and cruel, just like our father. Don’t you ever think of putting yourself in the same league as him, Eren, you are so much better than he could ever be.” Historia assures him. Eren clears his remaining tears and takes a long, deep breath.

“What am I gonna tell Levi? He loved her so much, and her husband was one of his best friends. How do I tell him that I’m one of the reasons they’re not here anymore?” He asks, sadly.

“What good would telling him do? As far as he’s concerned, the man responsible has been locked up with no chance of ever getting out. Why does he even need to know that you were there?”

“I don’t want to lie to him Historia, he’s been assigned to protect me, to make sure my life isn’t in danger! How could I even begin to try looking him in the eye knowing what I know?” He asks, a tinge of panic beginning to build in his chest once again.

“You don’t have to tell him, but you could make sure you do everything in your power to make things easier for him, make things better.” She suggests.

“How would I do that?” Eren asks, fiddling with his shirt.

“That’s not for me to decide, but you’re smart, you’ll think of something. Don’t tell him Eren, don’t put him through that. If those burn scars are anything to go by, I’d guess that he’s been through enough as it is.” She says gently, “And no matter what you think Eren, you are not the villain here. Without you, she…Izzy…would have died scared and all alone, and she, her husband and unborn child never would have gotten the justice they deserved. Remember that.”

Eren takes a few calming breaths and attempts to steady himself against his kitchen counter, he closes his eyes for a second and murmurs, “I won’t tell him. I don’t want to hurt him any more than he has been already. Thank you ‘storia, I’m sorry I woke you up so late. Apologise to Ymir for me too, I know she’s probably listening. Get some sleep, I love you both.”

Historia chuckles, “Likewise, and we’re both here if you ever need us for anything, we’ll see you tomorrow. Goodnight Eren.” He hears Ymir calling “’Night!” in the background.

“Bye.” Is all he says before hanging up the phone. He turns on the nearest tap and pours himself a glass of water, drinking it down in 3 large gulps. The effects of the alcohol are beginning to wear off and he can see that it’s almost 2 in the morning, so he pours himself a second glass, grabs a strip of his strong painkillers, goes back into the living room and settles himself on the sofa for the night. He doesn’t want to chance falling into a too deep sleep and being met with the nightmares that have haunted him for the last 4 and a half years.

+++

The sound of a nearby boiling kettle wakes Eren from his surprisingly restful slumber some hours later.

He glances around confused for a moment until he sees his kitchen clock read 7.25am and a rather disgruntled looking Levi searching through his cupboards.

“I keep the coffee in the jar next to the microwave if you’re looking for it.” Eren says, rubbing tiredly at his temples. His migraine from before is thankfully almost completely gone, only to be replaced with a hangover headache that makes him want to go back to sleep for another week. It’s his own fault really.

“Thanks kid.” Levi says as he finds the jar and spoons a hefty amount of coffee into his chosen mug, a plain white one, “You know your kitchen is all over the fucking place, how do you ever find anything in here?”

“I’m an artist remember.” Eren shrugs and chuckles lightly, “Do you mind pouring me some of that? I think my brain is trying to climb out of my ears.” Levi smirks and takes pity on him, picking out a matching mug and using an extra spoonful of coffee, Eren notices, he must look like ass.

“Here you go kid, I’ll let you put in your own milk or whatever.” Levi says as he walks into the adjoining living and hands Eren his drink.

“Nah, this is perfect.” Eren moans seductively as he takes the mug and sips the coffee. It’s hot, and strong and everything Eren needs right now. However, speaking of hot and strong…

“You know, if you wanted to borrow a shirt you could have just asked.” Eren smirks, shamelessly ogling Levi’s incredibly built and toned bare chest.

Levi looks down at himself and scoffs before meeting Eren’s wandering gaze, “Why? Is my half-nakedness offensive to you? Are you forgetting that you were literally wearing nothing but a skimpy bathrobe and stockings when we first met?”

“Hey! That’s a bit of an exaggeration…I was wearing a corset also.” Eren grins cheekily.

“You’re such an insufferable brat.” Levi sighs in exasperation before taking a long drink from his mug.

“And yet, you’re still here.” Eren notes smugly.

“That I am.” Levi nods before frowning a touch, “And I forgot to say thank you for last night. You know, for listening I mean. And for letting my drunk ass stay here.”

Eren giggles, “It’s no problem. You listened to enough of my crap last night too in case you’re forgetting. But seriously, I’m glad we did it, all things considered. Thank you for trusting me enough to open up like that. I do appreciate it.”

“I do too.” Levi assures him, staring into his mug, “And I also wanted to apologise for last week. I let my emotions get the better of me and I said some horrible and unnecessary things when all you’ve ever done is try and be hospitable. It was unprofessional of me and I’ll be the first to admit I was wrong. What I’m trying to say is that I’m sorry for my behaviour, I shouldn’t have spoken to you in that way, nor Maria, when you did nothing to deserve it. It won’t happen again.”

“Apology accepted.” Eren nods, with a polite smile “And upon reflection, I probably shouldn’t have pushed you for answers that day. It was obvious you were dealing with something far beyond me, and I wouldn’t just let it go. So, for that I’m sorry and I’ll try not to push your boundaries like that again.”

“No need to be sorry, you had no way of knowing. But I should apologise to Maria when I see her next, and everybody else…” Levi says, looking regretful.

“Maria is the most forgiving person in the world, you have nothing to worry about. She was actually the one who convinced me to take a vacation and told me to let you have some time to work things out on your own. And don’t be concerned about the others, she insisted we keep the incident to ourselves as it would just put a dampener on the evening if we let everyone know about it, and that it would just cause more issues for you and the group going forward. This is what I mean, even when you’ve told her to fuck off, Freckled Jesus still only has your best interests at heart.” Eren laughs.

“Freckled Jesus?” Levi asks, raising an eyebrow.

“Our nickname for Marco when we were younger was “Freckled Jesus”, and it’s sort of followed him around until now. But you can’t deny, it fits!”

“I guess it does, just like dumb brat suits you perfectly.” Levi jokes.

“Whatever you say, boring old bastard.” Eren smirks, and Levi returns it in amusement. They sit for a little longer together saying nothing at all, enjoying the remnants of their coffee and settling into a comfortable silence. Levi grabs his phone out of his pants pocket and scrolls through his missed messages, while Eren plucks an unread magazine from the table next to him and flicks through it.

It’s just coming up for 9am when Eren begins to speak once again.

“Sorry, but I have to ask, what did you do for the five days you weren’t working?” Eren questions, “I know you said you don’t know anyone living in Shiganshina and the city is new to you, so I’m just wondering.”

“I went exploring a few times, visited a couple cafes and restaurants for lunch. Had a look round some book stores and libraries, bought some reading material, read in the local park. It was nice, quiet, but nice. Although mainly I spent my time apartment hunting. Looked online and went to viewings of some of the ones I thought were nice.” Levi answers honestly.

“Oh, I assumed that you already had an apartment lined up and you were just staying in a hotel until it was ready for you to move in.” Eren says surprised.

“No, I’m too much of a control freak to let anybody pick my apartment for me, let alone my boss. He’s great and everything, my best friend even, but no fucking way would I let him dictate where I live, I’d sooner peel off his massive eyebrows and have them for lunch.”

“Eww, thanks for that imagery. But in all seriousness, you don’t have a place to live? When do you need to leave the hotel?” Eren asks.

“Friday, but if I found the right place then I’d happily move in right away. Hotels are a novelty and all, but the idea of someone else tidying my things when I’m not around gives me painful anxiety. I’m at the end of my tether with it if I’m honest.” Levi says, looking a little embarrassed.

“Have you found anywhere yet that you’d want to move into? Anywhere that’s caught your attention?”

“There was one place, not far from here with the same kind of layout. But I would need to get a roommate for living costs to be able to afford it, and that would mean moving in with a complete stranger. I did that once before when I was in the Army, moved in with a college student as I thought she’d be alright, and I was gone half the time anyway. But it was a less than stellar experience and I’d rather avoid it if I can. But the rest I’ve seen are a no go, too filthy or too small or too far away or too full of other people for my liking.”

“So, let’s put our heads together here. You’re looking for a house or apartment of this kind of size and layout, preferably with a roommate that’s not a stranger, and close enough so that’s not too much of a commute to work every day…. Levi, dude, are you thinking what I’m thinking?” Eren beams at him.

“That I should cut my losses and live with the person who’s least likely to be a serial killer?”

“No dummy! Why don’t you just move in here?!” Eren is practically glowing from the inside at the suggestion. Levi, on the other hand, looks less than impressed.

“You can’t be serious brat, you’re honestly suggesting that I live here? With you?!” Levi asks incredulously.

“Why not? This place is exactly what you’re looking for, you said so yourself. Plus, I’m not a stranger so you don’t need to fear me murdering you in your sleep, y’know unless you piss me off.” Eren jokes.

“Kid, you don’t know what you’re saying.” Levi shakes his head softly.

“But Levi, if you lived here there would be no commute to work, you could just kick me awake when I make us late. Plus, this place is bought outright! You wouldn’t need to pay rent, just some money towards groceries and utility bills. I’d even put some cash towards gas for the car and make myself scarce when you bring home dates.”

Levi splutters, “Yeah right! I don’t do the whole dating thing, kid, not anymore. And before you say anything, no I don’t do one-night stands either. That’s not even the point. You don’t understand what living with me would be like, I have terrible OCD when it comes to cleaning and that’s not an exaggeration, you don’t know the half of it. My roommate used to come home to find me scrubbing the skirting boards in the middle of the night or washing the back of the refrigerator when she was making dinner or vacuuming the floors when she was trying to sleep. I’m a nightmare.”

“You’re saying all of this like it’s a bad thing, Levi. It’s part of who you are, and hell knows I need someone to help keep this place in order.” Eren chuckles, “I work constantly and can barely remember to cook for myself half the time, never mind give the place a good scrub down.”

“It’s not even the cleaning itself, you said that thing about me bringing home dates. I don’t do that. But what if you want to? I’m…. trying to not let it bother me, but if you brought a guy back here and I heard you together, I can’t promise I would be able to control myself…it wouldn’t be fair on you. And I know you’ve never been with a guy or anything, but it could still happen.” Levi says uncomfortably, not making eye contact.

“Levi, you seem to be under the wrong impression. Look at me, I’m a workaholic, drag queen, ex-junkie. I’m not exactly the poster boy for the gay dating scene. I’ve never brought a guy back here and I have no plans to, and if it ever came down it, I wouldn’t put you in that position. But for now, I’m a lonely, pathetic loser, and I’m happy with that.” Eren grins.

Levi huffs out a breath, “Why are you doing this, kid? Not that I don’t appreciate it, but you’re going to make your life so much harder by living with me. Everyone I’ve lived with couldn’t deal with me, and i’m your employee…. won’t it be weird for you?” He asks with uncertainty.

“Well, here’s the thing…. last night was…. so amazing for me. Not the things we talked about per se, more the fact that we just sat and talked for hours, about things we can’t really talk about with anybody else. And I don’t know about you, but that doesn’t happen to me often. I want to make things as easy for you as possible. I…. don’t want you to just think of me as an employer…. I would like it very much if we could be friends.” Eren says, shyly looking at Levi from behind his long-forgotten magazine.

“Friends? Now that’s not something I can say I get asked very often. The few friends I do have would tell you the same.” Levi says, lips curled in amusement.

“Really? Can’t imagine why.” Eren teases, smiling and slowly holding out his hand to the man in front of him, “Friends?”

Levi hesitates for a few seconds, assessing the tanned right hand outstretched to him, black painted nails chipped and bitten down in what looks to be anxiety. Against his better judgement, he reaches out with own hand and grasps Eren’s, who squeezes back firmly.

“Friends.” Levi confirms, and Eren’s grin brightens more than Levi’s ever seen it.

“So, what do you say? Feel like being lonely, pathetic, loser friends together?” Eren proposes.

“I’m so gonna regret this….”

“Yay! This is gonna be so cool!” Eren yells, flinging himself on top of Levi and wrapping him in a tight hug on the couch.

“Get off me you, giant moron!” Levi rolls his eyes but makes no attempt to remove the boy wrapped around him like a koala.

+++

“Are you sure you want me to come? After what happened last time?” Levi asks, unsure of himself.

“Of course I’m sure, I told you nobody else knows, I said you had work stuff to deal with so you couldn’t come. They totally bought it.” Eren says as he hunts through his wardrobe for an outfit to wear. Levi can’t help but notice that the clothes he’s rummaging through are all made for men.

“I thought it was drag dinner, no Rogue tonight?” Levi asks curiously.

“Yes, but I’m still nursing a hangover and remnants of a migraine, so I don’t feel like beating my face and tucking tonight to be honest.” Eren answers.

“Do I even want to know?”

“Probably not.”

“Then I won’t ask. Speaking of Rogue, when do you need to go back to work?”

“I can help you move your things in here tomorrow, but I do have a few meetings lined up over the next few days so I’ll need you to take me to those. I’m not due back at the club until Wednesday.” Eren says, holding a few T-shirts up to his neck in front of the mirror.

“That’s fine, I don’t have an awful lot of stuff with me, my furniture is still at my apartment in Trost but I’m not sure if I’ll need it. We’ll see how it goes.” Levi mutters, absentmindedly stroking some of the shirts Eren has declined and thrown aside on his bed, “Do you…. want me to come tonight?”

Eren looks at him through the view of the mirror, “Yes Levi, I want you to come. It’ll do you good to meet new people. And you’ll be spending so much time around me anyway, you’re bound to meet them at some point.”

“I guess so, I’m just not great at the whole, making friends thing.” Levi murmurs, looking back at the bed, “It’s not in my nature.”

“Well you made friends with me, didn’t you?” Levi looks back at him, “I’d say that’s a pretty amazing achievement.” Eren says, winking.

Levi chuckles, “Whatever shitty brat, I’m gonna go back to my hotel and get changed into something a little less slept in. I’ll pick something up for Maria on the way back….to say sorry.” His face is lit in a faint blush.

“Ooh, does that mean that from now on whenever you do something to piss me off, you’ll buy me something pretty?”

“Tch, nice try!” Levi scoffs, embarrassment rapidly receding as he heads out of the house, gets in his car and drives back to his room, only realising once he’s left that he’s managed to spend a full 24 hours with Eren Jaeger.

Chapter Text

Chapter 13

Levi and Eren arrive at Jean and Marco’s just before 7pm, as planned.

Eren has settled on a thin, grey sweater and a pair of light blue jeans for the evening, his long hair tied in his signature bun, while Levi has chosen a pair of grey slacks with a matching grey waistcoat over his crisp, white button up shirt. Eren had teased Levi mercilessly in the car for the duration of the journey over their unplanned colour co-ordination, causing the latter to scowl and threaten to throw him out on to the sidewalk.

As they approach the front door, Levi clutches on to the bottle of wine and small bunch of flowers he’d purchased earlier a little tighter than necessarily. Somehow, the prospect of apologising to Maria over his behaviour makes him far more nervous than it should, considering his vast experience of literally putting his life on the line without so much the blink of an eye. There’s just something about the memory of Maria’s face falling in hurt when he’d ranted and raved at her that makes him want to hang his own head in shame.

Eren rings the doorbell, and less than a minute later they’re faced with a tan young man with short, dark hair that on first look, Levi doesn’t recognise. However, when the man gives them a wide grin and pulls Eren into a bearhug, he notices the myriad of freckles that dust his handsome face. This person is unmistakeably Maria… or Marco, Levi reminds himself.

As Marco lets go of Eren and pulls away, he gives Levi a friendly smile and a shy wave,

“Hi Levi, nice to see you again…or well, for the first time properly, I guess! You’ve never seen me outta drag before have you?” He asks with a nervous giggle. Levi looks him up and down, Marco is wearing a loose pink shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, old, faded blue jeans and black socks. He looks comfortable, but Levi can tell he’s unsure on how to act around him.

“I have not, but there is a first time for everything I suppose.” Levi says and hands the gifts to Marco, who takes them in slight confusion.

“Oh, these are for you, I wasn’t sure what you would prefer. I wanted to give you something to say thanks for the invite and I would also like to profusely apologise for how I acted last week. I was having a bad day and it wasn’t right to take that out on you or Eren. It was unprofessional and I hope you can find a way to forgive me.” Levi bows slightly in apology and sneaks a look at Eren, who is fighting to hide his amused smirk.

Marco sags in relief and hugs Levi also, which proves to be a little difficult with his hands full and being so much taller, but he puts his full effort in and holds on for at least 10 seconds. Levi isn’t quite sure what to do with his arms, so he just leaves them awkwardly hanging at his sides. Eren is full on laughing now and not even attempting to hide it, Levi gives him his best death glare, which just makes him laugh even harder.

“There’s nothing to forgive Levi, I can assure you I’ve heard far worse in my time, even from Eren! Let’s just put it behind us completely and have a lovely evening all together. Now, we should probably go inside, it might be summer but it’s starting to get a little chilly. Plus, I left Jean in the kitchen with Sasha, we’ll be lucky if we get any dinner tonight!” Marco insists as he ushers them both into the house.

+++

The house itself is a large four-bedroom detached property with a garage and located in the heart of the suburbs, in a much fancier and more expensive area than Eren’s home. And his home now, he supposes.

There is good sized, modern kitchen with fitted chrome appliances and a separate dining room with a giant dining table and chairs, made for dinner parties. Across the hall from the dining room, is a homely living room with comfortable cream couches and scattered with children’s toys and a pink crib in the middle of the room. Before Levi has a chance to ask, he’s pulled into the dining room by Eren who directs him to the empty chair next to his.

Eren tells him that Marco sits at the head of the table, with Jean in the chair on the right and Reiner to the left. Annie sits next to Reiner and across from Mikasa, who will be seated beside Connie and Sasha, and Eren and Levi will be sitting opposite the pair. For the moment, the house is in chaos and Levi is in two minds on whether he should just tell everyone to sit down and he’ll sort everything for them. It’s giving him anxiety.

Marco can be heard yelling instructions to Jean and Sasha, who Levi got a small glimpse of as he’d passed the kitchen earlier, while they seem to be more interested in eating the food than helping prepare it. Reiner and Mikasa are in the corner of the dining room discussing cars and beginning to lay out wine and water glasses. Levi doesn’t miss the glares directed his way from Eren’s sister but chooses to ignore them. Connie and Annie enter and exit the room intermittently as they lay dish after dish on the table, casually conversing about the music to be played at Annie’s wedding reception. From what he can tell, Connie is set to be the DJ.

Eren plonks down on his own chair, apparently oblivious to the goings on around him, and pats Levi’s next to him. Levi is hesitant and remains standing, gripping on to back of his seat and looking around in uncertainty.

“Is there something I can be doing right now? I don’t want to just sit when everyone else is doing something useful.” Levi says, still scanning the room.

“Nah it’s fine, they have a system. This is what it’s like every week. They don’t let me do anything, as apparently I’m a ‘liability.’” Eren holds his fingers up in a quotation sign.

“You ARE a liability, and it’s fine Levi, we got it. Marco is just bringing in the beef.” Jean remarks, carrying a deep pan dish of baked potatoes into the room, Sasha hot on his heels and practically drooling over them. It’s quite disgusting in Levi’s opinion. She reluctantly takes her seat next to Connie who has also sat down at this point and looks longingly at all the food on the table. Connie shakes his head and grins at Levi.

“Hey man, I’m Connie by the way. I’m the DJ at the club, and this insatiable creature is my wife Sasha. It’s good to meet you!” Connie says nudging the woman, who finally tears her eyes away from the food and flashes a nervous smile at Levi.

“Likewise, I saw you at the club last week and I’ve already had the pleasure of tasting your wife’s cooking. I’ll need to pick our brain for some of your recipes Sasha.” Levi states as he pours water from a jug into his glass. Sasha flushes and says nothing before Connie nudges her with his elbow.

“Oh, umm, of course. Glad you enjoyed the food.” She says bashfully before scooping some vegetables on to her plate. Eren chuckles and leans over so that only Levi can hear him.

“You make her nervous. She said that she saw you storming around the club last week and that you looked intimidating. She’ll get used to you.” Eren waves dismissively.

Marco enters the room, carrying a massive roast beef on a serving dish and lays it in the middle of the table. He takes his seat at the head of the table and starts passing round the wine bottles.

“Dig in everyone! Jean and Sasha have worked so hard all day to make this amazing meal for us all, so let’s not let it go to waste!” Marco beams.

“Wait, where are Ymir and Historia?” Annie asks as she pours herself some water, Levi deduces she’s also a designated driver for the night.

“They called earlier, Historia got swamped with work and didn’t get an awful lot of sleep last night, so she and Ymir decided to have a quiet night at home instead.” Jean clarifies, and Eren is left with an odd feeling in the pit of his stomach.

As he passes his plate on to Eren to fill for him, Levi locks eyes with Mikasa, who hasn’t moved a muscle since she sat down and is still glaring daggers at him. Levi can’t ignore it any longer.

“Anything I can help you with Mikasa? Need some bread?” Levi asks scathingly, gesturing to the bread basket next to him. She ignores him, simply scowls at him some more.

“Everything alright there Mika?” Marco asks gently, “You haven’t touched any of the food.”

“This was supposed to be drag dinner. I don’t understand why you have to feel restricted in your own home and make sacrifices for this homophobic…”

“Mikasa, we talked about this.” Jean cuts in firmly, “Stop making assumptions now.”

“But it’s not fair! If he wasn’t here this wouldn’t be happening. I know exactly what happened last week, I’m not stupid you know. I saw you pull up outside, Eren was crying and Maria was upset. You’re so lucky I haven’t come to your room and broken both of your legs by now, shorty!” She says accusingly, pointing a finger in Levi’s direction.

Levi scoffs, “Tch, don’t be making threats you aren’t able to act upon, idiot. It doesn’t make you look tough, just stupid.”

“How dare you!” Mikasa shouts as she stands up swiftly, making her seat fall backwards on to the floor.

“Mikasa, that’s enough!” Eren yells back at her, “Sit down!”

“He just called me an idiot!”

“He calls everybody an idiot, you’re just making a scene.” Eren argues.

“Maybe I’d better go…” Levi says, making a move to stand, but Eren grabs his arm in an attempt to hold him in place.

“You’re not going anywhere, you have every right to be here.” Annie says, speaking up for the first time, “Mika, you always do this, Eren is a grown man, not a child. If something happened between him and Levi, then it’s very clearly sorted. You don’t have to get involved.”

Mikasa huffs, picks up her seat and sits back down, “I just don’t understand why we have to give up our tradition for HIM.” She comments pointedly.

“Because like it or not Mikasa, Levi is here to look out for Eren, which means that whether HE likes it or not, he’s part of our little family now. And we make allowances for family. Levi is not totally comfortable with the drag scene yet, he’s been completely honest about that, and that’s okay. So, if us making this sacrifice is what Levi needs for now, then that’s what we’re gonna do.” Marco promises, glancing at Levi and giving him a small smile.

Levi has to be honest and admit he’s a little lost for words and feeling a little sheepish. When was the last time someone did something so selfless with Levi’s interests in mind? In fact, he remembers exactly when….

“Besides, we’ve been neglecting Reiner’s feelings for some time now also, and that needs to change.” Jean pipes up, after taking a few bites of his beef.

“What do you mean?” Mikasa asks confused, looking straight at the blond man adjacent to her.

Reiner takes a deep breath before speaking, “It’s nothing bad guys, honest. It’s just that since Bert died, I’ve been feeling all out of sorts. I’ve kind of lost my love for drag, and I don’t know if I’ll ever get it back if I’m honest. But I love and support you all 100% and it won’t be forever, I’m just not ready to make new memories at drag dinner without him here. Does that make sense?”

“Of course, it makes sense!” Marco assures him, “Until you feel comfortable, we’ll just have weekly dinner. Without the drag.” Reiner smiles appreciatively at this.

“Reiner, I’m so sorry, I had no idea you were feeling this way.” Mikasa apologises guiltily and gives Levi a small look that lasts half a second, but without any malice this time.

“Well, now that’s out of the way, lets eat and enjoy!” Connie demands, and they do.

+++

As they eat and make amiable chit-chat with each other, the conversation soon turns to Levi, who is still a relatively new figure in their little group.

“So, Levi, I don’t mean to pry, but I hear you spent some time in the military?” Connie asks, “What was is it like? Where were you based?”

“Yeah, I was infantry for around 4 years based in the middle east. I became a Lance Corporal of my own team after that where I based in Trost, and we were posted pretty much anywhere from then on. We weren’t exactly foot soldiers, we were a…more specialised branch. My team specialised in survival and reconnaissance, we were completely involved in the field, but our job was more centred around hostage negotiation, counter-terrorism and the like. But we were very much…. off the radar, you could say.” Levi clarifies.

“Shit Levi, you were Black Ops?” Jean asks, astonished and Connie’s eyes widen like saucers, even Mikasa looks slightly impressed.

“No way! You never told me that.” Eren says just as shocked as the others.

“It’s not exactly something you go shouting about, it was a dangerous job and you make a lot of enemies, you never know.” Levi shrugs.

“I wanted to join the Army myself, I come from a military background, my whole family were in the forces.” Connie says proudly.

“Really kid? Why didn’t you?” Levi asks curiously.

“I’ve got a medical condition. I was born with my heart on the right side of my body, which isn’t a problem in itself, but I went for the medical exam and it revealed an undiagnosed heart murmur. It’s not detrimental to my everyday life but I have to keep it monitored closely, so I couldn’t join up. But I met Sash not too long after my exam, so I guess everything happens for a reason.” Connie states happily, as he wraps an unoccupied arm around his wife.

“It’s very admirable that you even attempted to join, not many men even get that far, you should feel accomplished regardless.” Levi reassures him.

“Thank you very much, Sir.” Connie nods in appreciation at his kind words.

“Man, I think I’d do great in the Military.” Jean states matter of fact, taking a large bite out of a carrot.

“Oh yeah? Well I think you’re out of luck. There hasn’t been a cavalry unit for quite some time.” Eren says smugly and nearly everyone at the table snickers.

“Really? Back with the horse jokes? Because that’s mature.” Jean scowls at Eren and angrily chews at his remaining food.

“Oh, go eat some hay!” Eren retorts, “In fact, here’s a joke, everybody, what do gay horses eat?”

“Hay!” Reiner drawls sassily, clicking his fingers.

“Nope, Marco’s ass.” Eren cackles, and everyone loses it. Even Levi chuckles quietly.

“I’m gonna fucking kill you!” Jean bellows, and Marco hits him on the shoulder.

“There’ll be no murder at the dinner table! Shut up and eat your food, both of you!” Marco instructs them. They settle quickly enough, and everyone falls back into their idle chatter.

“Besides, if anyone would do great in the Military it’s me.” Eren argues.

Reiner almost chokes on his gulp of wine and Jean laughs loudly, as Levi hides a snort behind his glass.

“What? Why is that funny?” Eren huffs and looks round the table at the smirking faces, “I would be a killing machine!” He insists, which just makes everyone lose their composure.

“Please Eren, you’d run in there all cocky and shit and do something stupid. Probably end up losing a leg on your first day or something!” Jean jokes, failing to keep a straight face for even a second, “I’d climb the ranks in no time with no problem, wouldn’t I babe?”

“Don’t get me involved in this!” Marco holds his hands up in surrender and picks up his wine glass for a sip.

“As if! You can barely throw people out of your own club, you have to get Ymir to do it for you.” Eren laughs.

“Well, you’re not any better!” Jean remarks and lays his cutlery flat on his plate. Everyone else (except Sasha) begins to do the same, far too full to eat any more, and there are still plenty left overs. “Anyway, I think Marco would make a kick-ass military man. Plus, you’d look amazing in uniform.” Jean wiggles his eyebrows suggestively.

“Yeah right, like I’d join the military if either of you two dumbasses joined up, I’d be left running around after the pair of you. And it’s not like I can make two halves of myself!” Marco retorts, rolling his eyes and getting up to clear away the empty dishes.

+++

Dessert is served not too long after, a strawberry trifle with whipped cream. Levi is careful not to get any mess on his clothes, and wipes at his hands after every spoonful.

Everyone has branched off into their own little conversations by this point, and Eren is telling him all about the busy schedule he has lined up this week. He has another meeting with Nile Dok to discuss the new packaging for his palette and will go over the final details for distribution. He will also discuss the possibility of making his announcement on his new contract with Sina and confirm his resignation as a regular at Maria’s bar. He also has a new video series he wants to start for his channel, and by this point Levi is only half-listening to the enthusiastic brat when he feels a slight pressure on his right foot.

Levi looks down at his feet only to find a child, correction a baby, pressed up against him. A little girl judging by her pretty pink onesie, and definitely no older than 9 months, clutches on to his pant leg with sticky hands and looks up at him with wide, blue eyes and an open mouth.

Eren follows his gaze and gasps, “Kaya! What are you doing out of your crib?!”

Sasha freezes and yelps, “Oh my god! I went to check on her at dinner and must have forgotten to put her back in! Stupid baby brain! I’m so sorry!” She begins rambling and apologising.

“Sasha, she could have been really hurt! What were you thinking?!” Connie says accusingly, as his wife pleads with him for forgiveness.

Levi hasn’t moved a muscle, simply watching as the little girl leave messy handprints and drools on him slightly. Eren notices and places a comforting hand on Levi’s shoulder.

“Levi, it’s alright, we can get you cleaned up, Sasha will take her, and we can get you a change of pants and….” Eren rambles, pausing only when Levi leans down and picks the little girl up, inspecting her at arm’s length for a second before smiling softly.

“Hello there sweetheart, have you come to say hello?” Levi coos and pulls her close to his chest. Kaya garbles delightedly at the attention and paws at Levi’s shirt. He chuckles lightly and cuddles the little baby as she lays happily against her new friend.

Eren laughs in disbelief at the sight, the scary, scowling, ex-military man in awe of a tiny child. Sasha, unsure if she should be completely terrified or relieved at the man’s reaction to her daughter, clears her throat and speaks up.

“That’s our daughter Kaya, she’s 8 months old and started to enjoy exploring. She’s too adventurous for her own good, that kid, she’ll get me killed one day I swear! I’ve been a little forgetful recently…I kind of forgot to put her back in her crib, but she seems to like you a lot.” She titters breathlessly.

“It’s amazing really, she doesn’t take to just anyone.” Eren says in astonishment, “She loves her Auntie Rogue, but not so sure on Uncle Eren? Isn’t that right Kaya sweetie?” Eren presses his face close to the little girl, as she cowers and snuggles further into Levi, who smirks at the sight.

“Children are fantastic judges of character, this little one knows exactly who she wants to be close to, and she can probably tell you feel uneasy around her.” Levi says, stroking Kaya’s back softly.

“I’m not uneasy around her!” Eren argues, folding his arms crossly.

“Really? Well then why don’t you take her?” Levi suggests.

“I’m…. fine. She seems quite happy where she is.” Eren mutters quietly, watching as the baby stares up at Levi.

“You know, you shouldn’t feel intimidated Eren. I can understand why, but aside from animals, children are the most innocent creatures on the planet. They’re brought into a world full of conflict and darkness, and we should do everything we can to preserve that innocence for as long as possible. Make them happy, show them the world can be a loving place, that no matter what happens they’ll be okay. They bring us so much happiness, they deserve that.” Levi states, smiling at the little girl as she babbles nonsense to him sincerely.

“Wow Levi, in the short time I’ve known you, I would never have taken you for a lover of children.” Connie says in surprise.

“I love kids, always have. My ma, my foster mother that is, always had babies and children come and go at her house. She looked after them real good until they found their forever home with a new family. I was taken in at 15 and too old for anyone to want to adopt, plus I was a bit of a nightmare, but she took me on without a second thought. I ended up staying until I was 18 and helped look after the young ones whenever I was home on leave.” Levi confirms.

“You were in the system too?” Mikasa asks in surprise, and Levi looks up at her.

“Yeah, after my birth mother died when I was 7, I was in and out of foster homes. Alice Magnolia took me in when I was 15 and sort of unofficially adopted me, I called her Ma and she thought of me like her own son. Her own kid became my sister, Isabel, she was a few years younger than me and they became my real family.”

Mikasa nods, face softening slightly in understanding and she goes back to eating her dessert without another word.

Levi takes a little cream from his dessert and coats the tip his finger with it, “Here princess, want to try a bit of this?”

Kaya looks at the cream in confusion and begins to suckle on Levi’s finger, lapping away at all of the cream until it’s all gone. Levi is so taken with the little child that he fails the notice the numerous pairs of eyes, watching the scene with a mixture of awe and amazement. And if he looked a little closer, he’d notice a mismatched pair smiling at the scene with a warmth that could possibly be likened to that of a content longing.

+++

As the evening comes to an end, Connie has to practically wrestle his daughter out of Levi’s arms, her grip on his shirt tight and determined in her sleep. He manages, but with great difficulty, and offers Levi the chance to babysit whenever he wants. Whilst Connie had been half-joking, Levi assures him if will make the time to do so if he can manage.

He has a short conversation with Annie before she leaves, she asks how he’s been keeping for the past week and offers help with his move into Eren’s apartment. To his slight bewilderment, she also lets him know that her fiancé had to go away again on business but had been sorry to miss him and he had asked after his well-being. He’s never met Annie’s fiancé, doesn’t even know his name, but he lets her know that she should tell him he’s been well since the move.

Annie asks Mikasa if she wants a lift home, but Mikasa confirms she’ll be staying at the house with Jean, Marco and Reiner for some more drinks, work in the morning be damned.

Eren yawns loudly and informs Levi that he’d like to go home if that’s okay with him, as they’ll have to get the move started early in the morning so Levi can get settled in as soon as possible.

They say their goodbyes to the remaining groups, Levi receiving bearhugs from Marco, Reiner and a slightly intoxicated Jean. Even Eren gets his own hug from Jean, who returns it with a slap on the back and a teasing “horseface.” Mikasa simply nods in his direction, but he’s surprised she even acknowledges his presence.

Marco sends them off in the car with a bundle of Tupperware dishes containing leftovers and a note of his cell number in case Levi needs anything, and with a simple “Thanks”, they drive off into the night.

+++

Feeling a tad generous after receiving some lovely cuddles from little Kaya, Levi lets Eren play around with the radio as they make the drive back to the house. A smooth, R&B song is playing quietly and Eren has the window half way down, letting in the cool breeze of the night into the car. Eren hums to the tune quietly and Levi alternates between watching the road and the boy looking out the window in contentment.

“You really surprised me today, Levi.” Eren says out of nowhere.

“Really? How so?” Levi asks curiously.

“Just the way you were. How you acted around my friends, how you got really involved with the conversations and how you didn’t freak out when Kaya got you all dirty with her grubby hands. I was surprised, pleasantly so.”

“It might shock you to know, but I do in fact have some decent bones in my body, brat.” Levi teases.

“I didn’t mean it like that!” Eren laughs, “I just meant…. you’re so full of surprises, I never know what I’m gonna get with you. You really made a great impression today. I’m pretty sure Sasha and Connie would much rather you move in with them as a full-time nanny!”

“And I’d honestly consider it. Except, I’m already full-time nanny to you.”

“Jerk.” Eren, hits him playfully.

“Tell me something I don’t know, kid.” Levi says with a smirk, and Eren simply grins at him.

“Do you think you’ll ever have some of your own then?” Eren asks.

“What do you mean?”

“Your own children, do you think you’ll ever have any?” Eren supplies.

“I doubt it, kid. Don’t get me wrong, I would love to have my own little brats running around one day, but with me being…. how I am…. I don’t think it’s likely to happen for me.” Levi answers.

Eren looks at him slightly confused, “I’m not sure what you mean, Levi. What do you mean ‘how you are’?”

Levi glances at him a little uncomfortably for a second before he says, “I…. I’ve never had sex before.” Eren whips his head to look at him in shock.

“Seriously? Never?!”

“That’s right.”

“Why? You’re hot!” Eren blurts, and Levi raises an eyebrow at him, “I mean, come on, you’re very clearly attractive. I don’t understand.” He flushes.

“It’s not from lack of opportunity, or lack I’ve trying I can assure you. I’ve been in a couple relationships before yeah, but I discovered in my younger years that I need to have a very strong emotional bond with someone before I can even think about something like sex. And that, doesn’t happen to me very often, it’s only happened once in fact, and that person had no interest in a sexual relationship whatsoever. So, it’s just never been something I’ve experienced.” Levi clarifies.

“Wow, I’m sorry. I didn’t think to even ask what your situation was. I just sort of assumed you were a red-blooded, straight, alpha male who picks up women when he feels like it. I shouldn’t have assumed, and I apologise for that.” Eren confesses apologetically.

“Don’t worry about it, you wouldn’t be the first to assume that. But no, it’s not something I even think about all that often. I used to think when I was growing up that my sex drive was ‘broken’, that there was something wrong with me. I couldn’t do what all the other guys my age were doing, I couldn’t look at girls in the street and find it in me to want to seek them out for sex. I couldn’t do it with guys either, so I knew it was nothing like that. I just felt…. nothing, I guess.

I could look at people and see them as aesthetically pleasing, pleasant, interesting human beings to be around and spend time with, but it never came down to sexual attraction. Like I say, it only ever happened once. I found myself wanting to try with my girlfriend, she started to make me feel things I never felt before, arousal, and I asked if she wanted to try with me. She was always one for an experiment of sorts, so we tried…. but in the end, she couldn’t go through with it, and that was okay. I knew she was asexual when we started dating, and I thought I was too…. but with some fairly awkward research sessions in the local library, we came to the conclusion that I am in fact demisexual.” Levi says, looking at Eren, who is smiling encouragingly at him.

“Did you break up because of that? I imagine it would have been pretty difficult for you.” Eren asks.

“No actually, we dated for about 3 years, and I started feeling the way I did after about 10 months to a year. Sex was never part of our relationship, so I never missed it, you know? I had my own ways of dealing with my urges. We ended up breaking up because our personalities clashed when we started living together. She’s was constantly coming home and bringing a mess into the house and was too lax to care about cleaning it up right away. Whereas I was constantly chasing after her with bleach and throwing out her work by accident, thinking it was trash. We just weren’t meant to be. But we ended up working together in special operations until we both retired. She was an experienced strategist and ended up becoming my Commander in the latter years, she’s a good friend of mine.” Levi confirms.

“Oh? What’s her name?”

“Hange Zoe, you’ll probably meet her at some point, she’s insisting she come out and visit once I’m settled in.” Levi rolls his eyes.

“I’m looking forward to it, you’ve met my friends, it’s only fair!” Eren teases.

“She watches your videos, so I can’t promise she won’t be more than a little starstruck when you do meet. And she’s a complete pain in the ass, so don’t tell me I didn’t warn you, brat.”

“Haha, noted!” Eren laughs.

It’s not long before they are once again pulling up to Eren’s familiar drive. Eren unbuckles his seatbelt.

“Do you want to come in for some coffee? I promise I won’t try and get you drunk again!” He jokes.

“No, I’m fine, kid. We need to be up early to get my stuff moved in. Plus, I should probably try and enjoy my last night of freedom.”

“Ah of course, you’ll be living here from tomorrow anyway. What do you think you’ll do with your last night of freedom? Rob a bank? Hire a stripper? Start a band?” Eren questions, smirking the entire time.

Levi’s lips twist up at the corners, “Think I’ll stick to my book, a cup of tea and an early night. I’m not as young as I used to be, kid.”

“Probably for the best anyway. I’ll see you tomorrow then, come get me bright and early!”

“You’ll still be asleep.” Levi deadpans.

“Probably.” Eren shrugs. He makes a move to leave before turning back and wrapping Levi in a hug. It’s a soft hug as far as hugs go, but he can feel Eren’s rock hard chest and surprisingly strong arms enveloping him closer. He’s solid, and it’s oddly comforting to Levi. Eren rests his chin on Levi’s shoulder and Levi can smell the fruity shampoo of the long, silky strands of hair that tickle his cheek.

“Thank you for tonight Levi. It meant a lot that you came with me today, after everything we spoke about last night. I guess I was feeling a little vulnerable. I hope you had fun and would want to do it again.” Eren says genuinely and pulls away slowly.

“You’re welcome brat. We’re friends now, right? And we’ll be roommates come tomorrow. I’m not getting rid of you any time soon, suppose we both better get used to it?” Levi teases him with a smirk.

“Definitely.” Eren says, smiling, and opening the car door, “Night Levi!”

“Night brat.” Levi answers, once Eren has already left the car and gone back inside.

The drive back to the hotel is short and uneventful, but as Levi thinks over the events of the last 48 hours, things have changed so rapidly it feels like he’s developed a form of emotional whip-lash. In a short time he’s gone from being on bad terms with the brat, Eren ignoring him, confronting Eren, Eren opening up to him, him opening up to Eren in return, sleeping over at Eren’s house, striking up a friendship with Eren, agreeing to move in with Eren, meeting all of his friends, opening up a little more to Eren, leaving Eren on his doorstep and already missing him….

It’s been a whirlwind, and Levi can’t completely convince himself it’s a bad thing…. he hasn’t felt this light and carefree for years. He feels truly young again.

He’s just more concerned on how Erwin and Hange are going to take his news….

Chapter Text

Chapter 14

Moving into Eren’s place had turned out to be far more difficult than they had originally thought, considering Levi had only taken a suitcase and had a few boxes shipped to him since arriving in Shiganshina.

However, between Levi barking instructions on how Eren should carry his things without damaging anything, Eren’s complete inability to fold clothing and Hange pestering him via text for information on how his new living arrangements came about…. it took them hours to finish.

Once they’d finally gotten Levi checked out of the hotel and actually moved everything into his new bedroom, things ran much more smoothly as Levi simply threw Eren out, unpacked his things and started setting up the room in the way he liked. By the time he’d finished, Eren had cooked them a home-made meal and they ate together before retiring to their rooms for the evening.

The next morning, Levi went for his altered run, showered, got himself dressed into his usual security attire and kicked Eren awake so they could leave for work. That had been weeks ago now and marked the beginning of a new routine and an incredibly busy schedule.

Nile Dok had called Eren in the week Levi hadn’t been working to set up meetings at Sina to discuss Rogue’s finished product, the plans for promotion and finally, the date in which Rogue would be revealed to the public as the new face of their brand. It would no doubt cause a stir online as well as local news outlets, as Rogue already has a massive, loyal, international fandom as well as the fact that she would also be the first ever drag act under Sina’s label. Preparation and careful planning were key to a smooth and successful outcome, so it would need to be discussed at great length before she’d be thrust into the spotlight.

Eren had been overjoyed with his finalised palette and planned on filming the debut video in the next few weeks or so, meaning within the next couple months he would be finishing up at Maria’s and Queen Cosmetics in order to begin his country-wide promotional tour. Naturally, Levi would have to accompany him the entire time.

Maria’s bar had become like a second home to Levi in the last few weeks due to the sheer amount of time he found himself spending there. Eren insisted on going in at least 5 days a week, 3 of which he would actually be performing on stage as Rogue. The other 2 days were devoted to Eren perfecting the “vision” for his shows and would consist of him turning his dressing room into an absolute bombsite, which Levi would eventually end up cleaning, trying on numerous clothes for which he would hound Levi and anyone he else he encountered for their opinions before changing his mind entirely and starting from scratch.

Levi found that the best way to deal with Eren when he was in Rogue’s stress mode was to leave him alone entirely, less of a headache that way and the kid wouldn’t be constantly second guessing himself. Instead, Levi would occupy his time surveying the area, people watching or chatting with Eren’s friends - well THEIR friends now he supposes.

Maria would fawn over him and always insist that he have a free dinner at the club, and to be honest he no longer put up much of an argument as Sasha is a miracle worker when it comes to food, he swears he’s never eaten so well in his life. He’s also met Ymir now and she’d gone through a large list of people he should keep an eye out for as well as their security protocols within the club if he found himself needing to physically remove anyone, she’d pretty much given him the all clear to do so at his discretion. Connie would take him up behind his deck as Levi would be able to keep a good vantage point from there for the evening and they would talk at length about his time serving, Connie’s attempts at a music production career and of course, little Kaya. Since that one Sunday dinner, she’d become his favourite little person and he would always make a big deal when he got the chance see her every week, he’d even agreed to babysit her at his place in a couple Saturdays from now to give Sasha and Connie some well-deserved free time. Eren made sure to give Maria enough notice so they could both take the night off.

Rogue has also done a couple of shows as a favour at a club in the city of Karanes, aptly named “The Basement”, as it’s located completely underground. After hearing about the incident at Wall Rose in Trost, a lot of the regular performers decided to take an extended break from the club scene and too many of the inexperienced queens were expected to hold the fort, so Rogue had stepped in as a substitute, along with a couple other visting performers from surrounding areas. She took the time to introduce Levi to a bunch of her friends in the business, as well as helping a couple newbie queens out with their looks and acts for the evening before taking to the stage herself. Naturally, she was a massive hit, with both the audience and the younger queens alike. Levi couldn’t help but feel slightly prideful watching as he watched her work her magic.

Mikasa visits their house occasionally, and now that she’s more familiar with Levi and his habits, she’s stopped glaring at him so often. In fact, they’ve actually had a couple of decent conversations when Eren has been busy and they’ve been left in eachother’s company. She’s not half bad, he thinks, just incredibly overprotective of her brother. Annie tells him that she’s always been that way, ever since Eren had protected her from some perverts in a park when they were kids and she was still relatively new to the family. He can understand, he was the same with Izzy when she was so young and so naïve to the big bad world around her. It took everything he had not to coddle her away from everything and everyone, especially when she developed a crush on his then best friend.

One of the biggest surprises to come out of his position, however, is the friendship he’s managed to strike up with Jean. As it turns out, they’re both massive fans of science fiction and superhero movies, as well as online gaming. They’d began chatting about a new video game release one evening at the club, which turned into them discussing their shared favourite games and then agreeing to do multiplayer when they’d both managed to purchase a copy and had free time. The rest, as you could say, was history.

Eren and Levi now dedicate at least one evening during the week when they’re not working to visit Jean and Marco’s place to hang out and stay overnight, in separate guest rooms of course. Jean and Levi would play video games in the living room while Eren and Marco would chat together with a bottle of wine in the kitchen and periodically bring them beer or would join them to play along on occasion. Marco’s not a massive fan of video games in general and Eren’s relatively short attention span means he can only play a couple rounds before he gets bored, but regardless they enjoy watching as the guys’ incredibly inventive insults to other online players and to each other leave them in breathless laughter for hours on end.

The funny thing is, at the any other time in the last 2 years, the idea of having homosexual friends would have absolutely repulsed Levi incredibly, but with them he finds he more often than not forgets about the fact completely, and when Jean and Marco do inadvertently remind him, he realises it doesn’t bother him as much as it once would have. He still looks away of course, but that’s more out of common decency than anything else.

His relationship with Eren and Rogue has also continued to improve immensely. At the club, he watches all of Rogue’s performances and gives his feedback when she leaves the stage. He’s now seen her sing, dance, lip-synch, play games with the crowd and do stand-up comedy. She’s even mentioned him a few times in her jokes, and in return received a firm smack up-side the head for her efforts. She’s still undeniably beautiful when she performs, Levi has to admit to himself, he can barely take his eyes off her when she’s on stage. She’s so completely captivating, and going by the reactions of the audience, he’s not the only one who thinks so.

When she’s done for the evening and had a couple drinks, he takes her home in her casual wear and she often falls asleep in the car, so he has to carry her into her bedroom, remove her shoes and tuck her into bed. He watches her sleep for just a little while each night, takes in the sound of her breathing, listens to the little whimpers she makes and the crinkle of her eyebrows as she dreams, before leaving to shower and going to bed himself. And in the mornings, he and Eren wordlessly make breakfast and tea together, head out for a short gym session and spar a little before going to work and doing it all over again.

Overall, Levi thinks that he has managed to create a decent little life for himself in Shiganshina, one far better than he could have ever expected. Nothing can burst a hole in the little bubble he’s constructed…. or so he thinks….

+++

It’s a Friday evening, and Levi is knelt on the gleaming floor (that he cleaned himself) of the dressing room, helping Rogue strap herself into massive, hot pink, knee-high boots with laces all the way up the front when he hears an all too familiar shrill screeching.

“LEVIIII!!! You’re here!!!!”

“Oh, fucking hell.” Levi mutters to himself, before standing up and walking towards the person responsible, “Hange, what on Earth are you doing here?”

“I’m here to pay you a visit, silly!” She says, beaming and pulling him into an un-reciprocated hug. He pulls back once she’s satisfied and glares at her.

“Why didn’t you call me? When did you get here?” He asks, looking her up and down. Her hair is tied up in her usual high ponytail, and she’s wearing a grey vest top, a pair of dark sweats and some fairly old sneakers. He also notes her lack of deodorant and the fact her hair is slightly greasy at the roots, probably forgot to shower again, typical.

“Only landed a couple of hours ago, Erwin insisted on picking up the car he owns here instead of getting a rental and we stopped by your place first, but obviously you weren’t there….” She rattles off, before Levi cuts in abruptly.

“Hold up, Eyebrows is here too?” Levi asks and Hange nods an affirmative.

“Yeah he’s just parking the car.” Hange replies, before tilting her head to look behind Levi. He follows her gaze and spots Rogue shifting a little awkwardly from foot to foot. Hange’s grin becomes ever wider at the sight of the queen and she squeals loudly before rushing past Levi to greet her.

“Hi! Eren isn’t it?! I’m Hange Zoe, I’m a friend of Levi’s and a big fan of your work!” Hange says excitably, thrusting a hand out to Rogue for her to shake. Rogue takes the slim hand in her own and shakes it lightly with a smirk before letting go.

“Oh, so you’re Hange? Levi’s told me a whole lot about you.” Rogue wags her eyebrows suggestively and returns her grin. Hange simply cackles loudly and playfully smacks her shoulder.

“I take it Levi told you that he used to be my little love muffin many, many moons ago?” Hange asks as she grabs said man by the arm and rests her chin on his head. Levi grumbles in response and frees himself from her grasp.

“I think I focused more on your lack of personal hygiene, shitty glasses. When did you last take a shower? You smell like a hobo’s trash bag.” Levi says, as he wipes non-existent dust from his blazer and pants. Hange thinks for a moment, but clearly gives up as she can’t say for certain. Rogue simply giggles at the scene.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you Miss Hange. Any friend of Levi’s is a friend of mine. God knows, he doesn’t have very many.” Rogue jokes.

“I’ll say! And just Hange is fine. I’m guessing that based on your outfit you’ll be performing tonight?” Hange asks, a look of sheer excitement on her face, “I’ve never seen a live drag show before!”

“Yeah, I’m on in about an hour. You should go out front and see if you can catch the tail end of Maria’s set, she’ll be up for a little while longer.” Eren suggests, just as a tall, blond, hulk of a man wearing a dark grey suit enters the room, accompanied by a comically intimidated looking Reiner.

“Uhh Levi, this guy says that he knows you…” Reiner says, scratching the back of his neck uncomfortably.

“He’s fine, let him in.” Levi sighs, as Erwin thanks Reiner for his help, before entering the room. Reiner turns on his heel and leaves as Erwin immediately shakes Rogue’s hand with a warm smile.

“Eren Jaeger, it’s good to finally meet you, I’m Erwin Smith. I’m the CEO of The Recon Corps and a friend of Levi’s.” Erwin says as he introduces himself.

“Oh wow! It’s such an honour to meet you Mr Smith. I’d just like to say thank you for the incredible work your company has done for me this past month. It’s very much appreciated.” Rogue says genuinely, “And please, feel free to call me Rogue when I’m dressed like a stripper.” She gestures to the bright pink, PVC body suit she’s wearing.

Levi rolls his eyes as Hange barks a laugh and Erwin chuckles good-naturedly, “As you wish Rogue, and you’re very welcome. Your business has been very exciting to us and created a fantastic opportunity for Levi here. I trust that based on your new living arrangements, you two are getting along well?” The teasing isn’t apparent in Erwin’s voice, but Levi has known him long enough to know it’s definitely there.

“We had a bit of a rocky start, but we’re definitely getting along much better now. Aren’t we Handsome?” Rogue asks with a wink.

“Whatever you say brat, shouldn’t you be doing your voice warm ups or something?” Levi responds with a flick of his hand.

Rogue rolls her eyes, “You’re unfortunately right, I hate to cut this short guys but it’s been nice to meet you. Please feel free to sit out front and watch the show, Levi does most nights anyway if Ymir doesn’t need him out front. I’ll come and catch up with you all later.” She says as she saunters out of the room with a wave and heads towards the back of the stage.

“Damn Levi, I didn’t realise how cute he is in person.” Hange says conspiratorially.

“He’s far too young for you and you’re married, idiot.” Levi remarks, scowling at his dishevelled friend.

“Ten years isn’t a huge age gap! And Moblit knows I’d never do anything, I’m still allowed to look!” Hange pouts childishly.

“Twelve years, and anyway you’ve still not told me why you’re here. Explain.” Levi demands, folding his arms in annoyance.

“What? We can’t just travel half way across the country on a whim to visit a friend with no ulterior motives?” Hange asks with a hopeful grin. Levi raises his eyebrow in a prompt for the real reason.

“Okay fine, we’re here because we were concerned. You texted us 5 weeks ago to tell us you were moving in with Jaeger and since then we’ve received practically nothing from you. Admittedly, we were a little worried and maybe jumped to conclusions. We thought that maybe you’d secretly quit and chose not to tell us.” Erwin explains sheepishly.

“So, instead of trusting me to act like a responsible, professional adult, you decided to come all the way out here to check up on me? Like you’re my fucking parents?!” He narrows his eyes dangerously at them.

“We’re really sorry Levi, we just thought that because of y’know, how you feel, the last thing you’d ever do is move in with Eren. I mean, you didn’t even like living with me when we were together. It was just a bit of a shock is all and we couldn’t quite bring ourselves to believe it.” Hange frowns, looking at her feet.

“I apologise Levi, we didn’t mean to make you feel belittled, that wasn’t our intention at all. We also just wanted to see how you were doing in general.” Erwin says apologetically.

“You’re my friends, I expect you guys to trust me, not question me. I’ve literally trusted both of you with my life in the past, I just wish you could grant me the same courtesy.” Levi replies with despondence. Hange and Erwin share a look of regret and say nothing. Levi takes one look at their faces and decides it’s time to take a leaf out of Marco’s book.

“Look, let’s just forget about it. You’re here now, how long are you staying?” Levi asks.

“We’re here for a week, we took some time off to see you and to actually have a look around Shiganshina. I haven’t been back here for a while and Hange has only ever been here for…. uhh well….” Erwin trails off uncomfortably.

“The funeral? I remember, you’re allowed to say it.” Levi says, collecting his things and putting away some of the pairs of shoes Rogue left at her ass, as per usual, “Where are you guys staying anyway?”

“At my apartment, my housekeeper still has keys so she visits once a week to keep the place in order so it should be liveable enough, just need to stock the fridge.” Erwin says.

“Old Rosie still cleans up after you? You need to give that woman a raise. Anyway, lets head out front, Rogue will be on soon. And seeing as you’re on vacation, you should try one of Reiner’s cocktails, he makes a mean ‘Sex on the Beach’.” Levi insists.

“Well that’s gotta be the first time an offer of sex from you has actually sounded in any way appealing.” Hange teases with a manic laugh.

“Shut up, four eyes.” Levi says without malice.

+++

“You know Levi, you haven’t taken your eyes off her for even a second tonight?” Erwin says with a knowing look.

“Tch, it is technically my job.” Levi responds with a scoff as he watches Rogue strut across the stage in her heeled boots that reach all the way up to her bare, tan thighs. She’s opted tonight for her signature wavy, blonde wig that frames her face like a golden halo. Her usual blue contacts glimmer in the white spotlight, she looks like a stranger when she wears them, like a completely different person to the boy he’s become used to living with. He once asked her why she wears contacts instead of showing off her natural, mismatched irises and she responded with, “Well, somebody once said that the eyes are the windows to the soul, and seeing as Rogue is a soulless bitch, I thought it was only fitting.”

“I know that, but it’s different with her. You’re different with her. I can’t quite explain it.” Erwin says, watching Levi with an odd look on his face.

“Whatever you’re implying Eyebrows, I’d suggest you rethink it completely.” Levi says, giving his best friend a scathing glare.

“I never said I was implying anything, I was merely observing. Whatever you think is something you’ve conjured up on your own. Maybe you’ve been doing your own thinking on Rogue and starting to come to certain conclusions all by yourself?” Erwin suggests with a slightly smug expression.

“You’re an annoying bastard, you do know that right?” Levi huffs and Erwin simply chuckles in response.

“You have told me on many occasions, Levi. I haven’t forgotten yet.” He replies, smiling at his friend.

“She’s just…. she’s something else Erwin. These last 5 weeks have been a real eye-opener for me, I can tell you that. Her schedule has been jam-packed and I’ve been with her the whole time, hence the lack of texts or phone calls. I…. feel different around her, and I can’t even tell why myself. I mean, there was one night she was waiting to be called on stage, and we just talked for hours while we waited. Hours and hours, about nothing and everything, and it was amazing, just to hear her speak, about anything at all.

There’ve been nights after a show where she’ll be full to the brim with energy and she feels the need to stay up and bake cookies or something. Then half an hour later, she’s crashing and we’re both covered in cookie dough and watching late night tv, and I can’t even bring myself to care that the kitchen is a mess, and that we’re both a mess, because she’s laughing and smiling, and I don’t want her to stop…. and the way she looks at me when she does and just….” He pauses, noticing the stare of his best friend and getting the feeling he’s said too much.

Levi tears his eyes away from Erwin’s face and spots Hange at the front of the stage, watching the show with Mikasa in tow, at least she managed to make a good first impression to the aloof Asian woman.

“I’m not going to sit here and patronise you Levi, I think you know exactly what’s going on in your own head right now, and you have to admit it for yourself. I can’t tell you how to feel.” Erwin says, taking a sip out of a bright orange cocktail with a little pink umbrella. In any other setting, Levi would have mocked the sight.

“What does it matter how I feel anyway? It’s not like anything could ever happen, even if I wanted it to.” Levi mumbles, looking forlornly into his own glass of iced water.

“Why do you say that? The only person stopping you here is you, Levi. If you want something to happen, whatever that may be, you are the only one who can make it happen.” Erwin urges.

“But she’s not even real, Erwin. She’s a character, she’s fictional. Right now, all I want to do is go up there, take her hand, kiss her and tell her how beautiful she is. The need to do so is killing me, and there is NOTHING I can do about it.” Levi says, staring Erwin in the eyes, his face a mask of pained longing.

“Look at her Levi, she’s real. She’s living, breathing and completely real. You can go up there if you’d like to and tell her how you feel if that’s what you wanted. Like I say, the only person stopping you is you. Rogue is a real person, Eren is a real person.” Erwin says.

“That’s just the thing Erwin, I could never want another man, and underneath all that make up, padding and PVC is a 21 year old man. And that fact alone destroys me.”

“Levi…” Erwin begins, but stops as Jean sprints towards them and comes to a halt at their table.

“Levi, Mr Smith sir, I need you both to come quickly, it’s an emergency.” Jean says, breathless.

“What is it Jean?” Levi asks with urgency.

“Not here.” Jean shakes his head, and without another word, they follow him backstage towards Maria’s dressing room.

+++

“Oh Levi, thank you for coming ‘round so quickly. I’m sorry for ruinin’ your night, but I thought y’all should know as soon as possible.” Maria says, pacing up and down the room. She’s kicked her heels off and Levi can see she’s picked off her fake nails, a clear sign of anxiety or distress. Jean isn’t doing any better, as his nostrils flare and he looks about 2 seconds away from punching a hole in the wall.

“Of course, what do you need Maria?” Levi asks, grasping her by the arm in order to steady her.

“There’s been another shooting, Levi. In Karanes.” Maria whimpers, tears welling up in her eyes.

“At ‘The Basement’?” Levi asks in disbelief, he and Rogue were just there a little under a week ago.

Maria nods solemnly, “The titans were seen protesting there tonight, one of them must have gotten in when security were busy and they shot a young queen dead. A new kid, his name was Nac. The shooter got away.”

“God Dammit. Nac? There was a kid called Nac when we were there, about 18 years old, Rogue was helping him with his make-up. They talked for a little while and she gave him some tips on how to not wash himself out with the lights. She’s not gonna take this well.” Levi says regretfully, he remembers the kid, he was a little excitable and had attempted to hit on Levi unsuccessfully, Rogue had teased him for it the whole night.

“She can’t know Levi, not right now, we can’t tell her.” Maria pleads, hands clamping tightly on to Levi’s wrists.

“Why? She knew the kid, she has a right to know.” Levi insists, looking over at Jean who shakes his head solemnly.

“You’re right Levi, but it’s not a good time right now.” Jean says, silently willing his friend to understand.

“But surely if a young man has ended up dead and Eren at least knew him, he should know about it. There’ll be a funeral and he might want to go and pay his respects.” Erwin says gently.

“Y’all don’t understand.” Maria says, “They left that boy to die but that’s not all they left behind.”

“What do you mean?” Levi asks.

“We’ve been told by the owner that a bunch of photographs were left behind at the scene. Black and white photos scattered all over the place. Apparently Rogue appears in several of those photos, performing at the ‘The Basement’.” Jean confirms, his expression a mixture of sad and furious.

“That’s impossible, she was only there a couple of times over the last few weeks! How could the shooter have picked to be there one of the only nights she made an appearance?” Levi asks, a hint of incredulity in his tone.

“It’s too much of a coincidence.” Jean insists, “They had to have been keeping an eye out for her.”

“You said that she appears in quite a number of the photos? Were there photos taken that she isn’t in at all?” Erwin questions curiously.

“Yeah, apparently there’s quite a few photos of her and some other queens that were there that night.” Jean says, “Why’d you ask?”

“Well, if she’s not the sole participant of the photos, then there is no evidence to suggest that she’s a target.” Erwin states, “But off the record? One of her friends AND a kid she’s socialised with are shot dead at clubs she just happened to be working in a week or so prior? It seems like too big of a coincidence to have happened completely by chance. She may not be targeted specifically, but that’s not to say she isn’t being monitored.”

“You mean somebody could be watching her?” Maria asks fearfully, clutching at her own chest, “Oh god, why would anyone do that?”

“I don’t know.” Levi says, voice filled with fury, “But I’m sure as hell gonna find out why.”

Chapter Text

Chapter 15

Levi and Erwin leave Maria’s dressing room shortly after, quietly mulling over what to do following the shocking news of Nac’s death and the revelation that that Titans seem to have Rogue firmly set in their sights.

“I can handle this Erwin, honestly. You’re here on vacation, you don’t need to be pulled into this crap fest. Eren is my responsibility.” Levi insists.

“I have no doubt that you can handle it, Levi. That’s why I trusted you with this job in the first place. But at least allow me to call in a few favours from some of my contacts, just to see if they have any further information on the Titans? You know It’ll be far easier to protect Eren if you know what to be looking out for. It wouldn’t hurt for me to ask, would it?” Erwin suggests, resting his good hand on his friend’s shoulder.

“I guess not.” Levi relents, sighing a little before checking his watch, “Come on, we better go and find Hange. Rogue will be finished her set by now. And Erwin…. thank you.”

“It’s no problem. You’re my best friend, I want to help where I can.” Erwin assures him.

“Alright, you want to get another drink or call it a night?” Levi asks.

“I think I’m just going to call a cab and pick up the car tomorrow, I’m beat. Hange might want to stay, so I’ll need to come and give her the address.” Erwin says, yawning and stretching.

+++

“Levi! Erwin! There you are! You had me wondering where you’d gotten to. Luckily for me, I had some fantastic company.” Hange grins, holding a bottle of beer and wraps her free arm around Rogue, who Levi notes has now changed into a loose band t-shirt, a pair of denim shorts and flat shoes. Her blonde hair still falling in loose waves to just above her shoulders and she has removed her contacts. Even in her casual clothing, Levi still thinks she looks stunning.

Mikasa stands with them, dressed in a plain, black crop top that shows off her impressive abs, a pair of dark skinny jeans and some very uncomfortable looking stiletto heels. She pays little to no attention to Levi’s arrival, simply concentrating on sipping her martini and curiously eyeing the blond man to his left.

“I was just seeing if Ymir needed a hand out front, but she seems to have it under control. Eyebrows came with me and we bumped into Jean on the way back. Maria insisted on meeting my boss so she could sing my praises or whatever.” Levi rolls his eyes dramatically, hoping his lie isn’t completely transparent, “Isn’t that right Erwin?” Levi asks, but when he gets no response after a second, he glances at his friend and notices that Erwin’s attention is 100% elsewhere.

“Hello, I don’t believe we’ve had the pleasure of meeting.” Erwin says, holding his left hand out to Mikasa, “I’m Erwin Smith, Levi’s boss.”

“Mikasa Ackerman, Eren’s sister.” She says, grasping Erwin’s much larger hand and giving him a coy smile, they don’t let go for several seconds, simply looking at eachother until the air around them becomes slightly awkward from Hange’s teasing giggles and Mikasa pulls away blushing.

Rogue wants to burst into loud laughter at the expression on her sister’s face. In the many years they’ve been family, Rogue has never once seen Mikasa flustered around someone she’s attracted to before. She’s definitely interested in the tall blond man, that much is obvious, but she’s never been one to shy away, she’s always been the type that tackles things head on, romantic interests have never been any different.

Levi watches the exchange between his best friend, his charge’s sister, a giggling bespectacled maniac and the incredibly amused looking drag queen in bewilderment, before shrugging his shoulders in defeat and changing the subject.

“Are you ready to go?” Levi asks addressing Rogue, “You’re working here tomorrow night and you said you wanted to do some filming in the afternoon before we leave. It’s nearly 1 in the morning and you’ll need to get some sleep.”

“Aww spoilsport!” Hange pouts, “Rogue and I were just getting to know each other properly! I was just telling her and Mikasa about the time you got drunk at a house party for the very first time and danced the Macarena with a bottle of windex!”

“Hange, I swear to fuck if you keep telling people embarrassing things about me, I’m gonna tell Moblit what happened to his coin collection.” Levi threatens with a glare.

“Alright aright! I’ll keep my mouth shut, just don’t get your panties in a twist.” She winks at him and salutes.

“Hange.” He growls.

“I’m sorry, I promise I won’t say anything else!” She says, and Rogue pats her on the shoulder.

“I’m here tomorrow anyway, and I have the day off on Sunday, so if you want to come, I’ll have a proper drink with you then.” Rogue promises with a smile.

“I’m staying out for a while anyway, this place doesn’t close until 4, some of my friends are here and Jean and Marco will be coming out to drink with me soon. You can come join us if you want.” Mikasa asks, uncharacteristically friendly in Levi’s experience.

“That sounds fantastic! Count me in!” Hange beams, no longer mourning the lack of Rogue for the night.

“Will you be joining us too, Erwin?” Mikasa asks hopefully, draining the remnants of her drink in one last gulp.

“I’d be happy to, I had planned on staying out a while longer anyway.” Erwin says, removing his expensive blazer.

“I thought you said you were heading straight home?” Levi asks confused, turning to look up at his friend who seems to be trying to communicate purely with his massive eyebrows.

“No, I didn’t, I said I was staying here and then going straight home after. As in, I have no plans to visit anywhere else tonight.” Erwin clarifies with a slightly strained grin to a still very puzzled Levi. Rogue laughs and pulls Levi away from the group so they walk away together arm in arm.

“Come on Handsome, let’s get you home before you start suffering from some bad foot in mouth syndrome.” Rogue says under her breath before calling behind her, “Have a good night everyone, don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!”

“Well, that’s not giving them many restrictions.” Levi mutters. Rogue giggles, pulling Levi closer to rest her head on his as they head out of the club, bidding Ymir a goodnight as they leave.

As expected, Rogue falls asleep around 10 minutes into their drive, and Levi knows that by the time they arrive home, it will be almost impossible to wake the sleeping woman without receiving a swift kick to the balls. It’s happened before. He shakes his head in exasperation at her sleeping figure and continues watching the road, glancing over at her only a couple of times on the way.

Pulling up to the drive, as per Levi’s suspicions, Rogue is completely dead to the world, and the only way to get her out of the car and into the house is to carry her inside. With a sigh, he places his house keys in his mouth and lifts her easily bridal style before kicking the car door shut behind him. Luckily the car locks automatically or he’d have some real trouble juggling sets of keys in his occupied limbs.

Rogue clutches on to the lapel of his shirt in her sleep and tucks her head into the crook of his neck, mumbling slightly as she does so. It would be adorable really if she wasn’t slightly drooling at the same time. It’s disgusting to Levi, but he can’t bring himself to mind too much, because it’s her and because right now she has limited control of her bodily functions. Stupid brat, he thinks.

With monumental difficulty, Levi manages to successfully coax his keys from his mouth to his left hand and unlocks the door. As they enter the house, he closes it over with his foot and carries the slumbering woman in his arms to the comfort of her own bedroom. He lays her gently on the bed, removes her shoes and tucks her thin quilt over her chest, as he’s done many times before. He opens her bedroom window and turns on her fan, as he knows she gets too hot in the humid summer nights, and gets her a fresh glass of water from the kitchen in case she gets thirsty.

After setting the now full glass on her nightstand, he perches on the side of her bed and gazes at her as she sleeps softly. He can’t decide if she’s dreaming tonight or not, she looks too calm to tell. He knows he’s got it bad, and he can’t even pinpoint the moment where the shift from aesthetic admiration to complete and utter adoration of the young woman took place. All he knows is he feels like an intruder, an old, creepy pervert watching her as she unknowingly rests peacefully in her bed.

He sighs quietly, running a hand through his hair and wishes her a silent, sweet dreams before turning out the light and leaving the room, closing the door firmly behind him.

What he doesn’t know, is that Rogue opens her eyes as soon as he leaves, buries her face into her own T-shirt to sniff at the remainder of his scent on her clothes (he always wears a very distinct, clean smelling cologne), and smiles happily.

+++

“Please Levi! I really, really need you!” Eren begs, pulling on Levi’s wrist.

“What part of ‘No’ aren’t you understanding brat?” Levi asks mockingly, ignoring the pleading stare of the boy practically on his lap at this point.

“Oh, come on, please! There’s no one else I’d rather do this with.” Eren says, pouting like a child which looks completely ridiculous.

“If you really wanted to do this with me, why didn’t you think to ask before now?”

“Because I knew you’d say no! Or at the very least, I’d manage to convince you and you’d change your mind again….” Eren admits, playing with he hem of his own shirt and looking a little timid.

Levi sighs before considering the boy in front of him with a resigned expression, “You are such a little shit. What is it you need me to do? But I swear to god, if you even THINK of putting lipstick on me….”

“It’s nothing like that!” Eren assures, “I just wanna test lighter coloured make-up on paler skin for my video, as I’m a bit restricted with my own skin tone. It would be foundation and concealer only! Maybe a little primer, but I swear that’s it.”

Levi is silent as he ponders the request.

“You promise you’re not gonna put loads of glitter and shit all over my face, make me look fucking ridiculous?” Levi asks, folding his arms and raising a perfectly plucked brow. He may or may not have allowed Eren to tidy them up for him a few days ago.

“I promise dude! I’m only trying to make a point with this one video and there’s nobody else I know that’s as pale as you. We’re all too tanned with the Shiganshina sun.” Eren laughs nervously. Levi breathes out a final pained breath and answers,

“Fine, I’ll do it. But don’t make me regret this brat!”

“Woo! Thanks Levi, you’re the best! I love you man.” Eren says, wrapping Levi in a bearhug as he settles on his lap.

“Yeah yeah, whatever.” Levi says nonchalant, completely ignoring the tiny flutter in his chest at the words. Must be allergies or something, he reckons.

+++

“So, what is it you need me to do right now?” Levi asks, settling into the chair placed next to Eren’s. This time in front of the camera, as opposed to his usual spot behind it. Levi has gotten accustomed to helping Eren film his videos, sometimes Rogue makes the odd appearance also.

“If you want to use one of those make up wipes to clear any dirt or oil residue from your skin. Just make sure you scrub hard enough.” Eren says, taking his own wipe and cleaning his own face at the same time.

“Tch, you do remember who you’re talking to right?” Levi scoffs as he begins cleaning his face and neck also. Eren ignores him and continues scrubbing.

Levi takes a second to look down at his own outfit and suddenly feels slightly self-conscious next to Eren, who’s wearing a fitted V neck, black sweater and a pair of black skinny jeans with chains on them. Levi has opted for a loose, casual, black button up shirt with his old, tattered blue jeans which he’d assumed would be best considering he was having make up put on him, but Eren had assured him there’d be little to no mess with what he had planned for today.

After they’ve thrown the wipes in the trash, Eren fiddles with his camera one last time before addressing Levi again.

“Okay, you good to go?”

“Ready when you are.” Levi replies, and after receiving a smirk from Eren in response, he presses the play button on the camera. Eren beams to the camera and does his signature salute.

“S’up Jaegerbombs! It’s Eren here once again, and today I’m joined by a very special guest. You all currently know him as the poltergeist in my bedroom, but I know him as my roommate and friend, Levi!” Eren says, gesturing with both hands to the man next to him.

Ever since Levi started helping out with Eren’s YouTube videos, people in the comments section had been commenting in their thousands about the shadow of a person in the back of the frame. Eren hadn’t told anyone on film that he had someone in the room during filming, so his subscribers had started theorising on their own about the poltergeist living in Eren’s room. They’d even watched and laughed over some very creative videos people had made, compiling “evidence” of the strange shadows that appeared in several of Eren’s episodes.

“Levi, say hi to everyone!” Eren urges with a pat on the back, as Levi looks directly into the camera.

“Hi, I’m Levi, I babysit this brat on a daily basis and make sure he doesn’t hurt himself by thinking too hard” Levi says, smirking at an affronted looking Eren.

“Umm fucking rude, anyway Levi here moved in with me around 5 or 6 weeks ago now?” Levi nods in agreement, “Yeah 6 weeks ago, from Trost as he’s here for work. So, he’s been assisting me with filming behind the scenes up until now. However, lovely Levi is here today to help me show you guys how to get the best coverage on even the palest of skin tones.” Eren picks up a little bottle of white liquid and squeezes a little on to the tips of his fingers.

“So, Levi, you’re from Trost. Do you guys even know what the sun is over there? It comes out like every 10 years, right? Give me your face.” Eren jokes, as he positions Levi’s face so it’s tilting slightly upwards and shows in the centre of the frame.

“You’re hysterical, kid. But no, the sun comes out every so often in Trost and our summers can be quite hot. I just happen to live in a crypt.” Levi replies and Eren snorts, dabbing little spots of the liquid on Levi’s face before rubbing them in to his skin.

“That’s right, you’re a vampire, aren’t you? It would explain the pale skin.”

“Worse, anaemic.”

“Oh, I see.” Eren chuckles, “This right here guys, is just a little moisturiser that I like to use every day. It softens the skin and helps your make up slide on a lot easier, so if your skin is quite dry it won’t leave little clumps all over your face. Also, it has a little SPF protection mixed in, so your skin will stay nice in healthy in the sun. How does that feel Levi?”

“It feels very light I guess, I can barely tell it’s there really.” Levi says, focusing more on the light touches of Eren’s smooth fingers on his velvety skin.

“It helps that you have naturally very soft skin. All except this little section here.” Eren says, pressing slightly on Levi’s scarring, “It’s not irritating you here, is it?” He asks, a little concerned.

“Not at all, I can barely feel anything there anyway if I’m honest.” Levi says truthfully. If he’s completely honest, Levi normally forgets his face is marred at all. In his own head, his face is how it was all those years ago, when he was considered devilishly handsome and unattainable. That’s how his only other girlfriend aside from Hange had described him. It’s only when someone reminds him, or he catches a glimpse in the mirror that he’s reminded of what’s happened to him.

Eren picks up a bottle of light-coloured liquid and squirts quite a bit on to a large sponge. Eren has referred to it as his beauty blender in previous videos.

“Just for some background information, Levi is a veteran. So, he’s unfortunately been left with this burn scarring from his time in the military. Not that it takes anything away from his looks, wouldn’t you agree guys? But what I’ll do, is I’ll cover it up using a little concealer and some foundation, to show you that even this level of scarring can be sufficiently covered if any of you feel overly self-conscious about blemishes or abnormalities of your skin. That sound okay to you Levi?” Eren asks gently before touching the make up sponge to the man’s face.

“I mean you can try kid. Don’t think there’s much you can do to make this shit look any better.” Levi shrugs, looking at Eren unconcerned as the boy flashes him a toothy grin.

“Oh sweetie, I think you’re completely underestimating my skills as a make up artist. Now hold still while I cover your face in my liquids.” Eren jokes with a laugh.

“You’re disgusting brat.” Levi says with a slight shake of his head.

“And I told you to hold still. Now everyone, the shade I’m using here is called “Snowdrop” and it’s the lightest shade available of this brand, and I don’t wanna get sued so I’ll link in the description of where you can buy it for the cheapest price. Normally, I would mix this a little with my own shade, which is “Sandy Beaches” to make a fair tone for lighter skin. However, Levi is so pale that Snowdrop matches his skin almost perfectly, so we’re just putting this straight on as it is.” Eren says, as he concentrates smearing it on Levi’s face. It feels almost mousse like, Levi notes.

“Normally people just like to use either their blender or a make-up brush to put on their foundation, but I on the other hand, like to use both. I find that the blender allows me to get right into the little cracks and difficult places that are hard to reach, but the brush leaves a nice finish on top and gives the coverage we all look for in a good foundation. Honestly, it’s more about how you apply it rather than the brand itself. In my earlier drag days, I had to use the cheapest of the cheap, and still make it look good. And it’s possible, if you know how to do it. How Is it feeling on your skin Levi?”

“I thought it would feel quite oily and thick, but it’s surprisingly light on. It’s as if it’s my own skin.” Levi says honestly, in fact the whole ordeal is a lot less taxing than he’d thought it would be. He can already tell that the clean up job will be easy enough at the end of it all.

“I’m not gonna lie, this does actually have a lot to do with the brand of the make-up. There are a lot that can give you the same level of coverage but feel a lot heavier on your skin. This particular one is my favourite due to how light it is, and how gentle it feels on your skin. Levi is a foundation newbie, so I thought this would be the best option.” Eren confirms, taking the make up brush and spreading some more liquid on the plains of Levi’s skin and scarring.

The process continues for a little longer until Levi speaks up once again.

“Honestly, if this is how long it takes to look presentable in your world every day, I think I’ll pass in future.”

“Good things come to those who wait, Levi, patience is key.” Eren giggles softly, putting away the make-up brush, “I’m just gonna add a little concealer to ‘fill in the cracks’ if you will, and then you’ll be all finished.” Eren unscrews a little tube of matching concealer and spreads it in little sections over the skin, especially on the scarred part of Levi’s face.

Eren continues the process for a little while longer. Levi watches Eren as he works, carefully spreading the concealer evenly over Levi’s skin, touching him as gently as possible and chewing his lower lip in concentration. A little bead of sweat forms on side of his forehead, and his eyes move quickly and rapidly, assessing the whole of Levi’s face for any imperfections. Without a word, he takes a little pencil from his make-up bag and runs it over the skin next to Levi’s eyebrow, he thinks, choosing to stay silent rather than question Eren’s method.

“Okay, I think we’re done. Would you like to look in the mirror?” Eren asks, offering his small bathroom mirror to Levi, he takes it from him to review the ‘end result’. When he sees his face for the first time since Eren started, his breath hitches in surprise.

His skin is all the one colour for the first time in 2 years. The burned section which is normally tinged in a permanent pink, is now snowy white once again, matching the rest of his face perfectly. The scar tissue can barely be seen under the layers of make-up, only a couple of little ridges and bumps showing when he turns his head in the light. And he can see that Eren has filled in and extended the missing part of his left eyebrow with the pencil, as the hair follicles had previously been burned off. He looks perfect, ethereal, like the man he once was before his face was wrecked by his captors.

“So, as you all can see, I have covered the burn section completely so that the skin tone matches to perfection, I have covered his face completely in the one tone so it looks natural and added a little to his neck, so the blend doesn’t look painted on. And finally, I have added a little bit of pencil liner to his eyebrows. This was simply for aesthetic purposes and can be completely skipped if you have naturally dark, full eyebrows. But I think overall, he looks pretty great, what do you think Levi?” Eren asks Levi, who is still assessing his new look in the mirror.

“I…. can’t believe you did this.” He looks to Eren with an unreadable expression, and the boy looks slightly nervous in return, “Thank you Eren, you made me look…. like me again.” Levi says finally, and Eren smiles warmly at him.

“You’re very welcome, Levi.” Eren says softly, “It’s not like you needed it or anything, but you do look pretty incredible. I mean that.”

They continue looking at eachother, smiling and saying nothing at all for a long period of time before Eren remembers they’re still recording and is pulled out of his reverie.

“Anyway, thank you so much everyone for watching! I hope you enjoyed this segment and can feel more comfortable and confident in your beautiful pale skin. Later in the week I’ll be focusing on darker skin, so please look forward to that and I’ll see you in the next video. Bye everyone!” Eren says, before switching off the camera and standing up abruptly.

“Okay, thank you so much for helping me Levi! But we have to be getting ready to leave for tonight, let’s go!” Eren says, in a hurry and breathless all of a sudden.

“Slow down a minute brat.” Levi stops him by standing also, and grabbing the now frantic boy’s wrist, “Seriously, thank you for what you’ve done today. Never before would I have even considered getting my make up done, even as a favour to a friend. But I’m glad you got me to do this, for once I feel close to the man I once was again.”

“Levi…. I didn’t think this would mean so much to you. I just thought it would be a little bit of fun and that you’d look at it and be like ‘Whatever kid, hand me the soap’ in that voice you do when you’re annoyed with me. But…. I’m happy I could make you feel this way. I guess I just got a little overwhelmed at your gratitude.” Eren says, tucking a loose strand of hair behind his ear.

“Do you think…. actually, never mind.” Levi says, trailing off.

“No, what were you going to ask?” Eren ponders, tightening his own grip on Levi’s wrist.

“Do you think that, maybe, you could do this again for me some time?” Levi asks sheepishly, and Eren full on grins at him.

“I would be delighted to do this for you again, and I’ll even show you how you can do it yourself. You’re my friend Levi, please don’t be embarrassed to ask me things like this.” Eren implores, moving his grip to Levi’s hand and squeezing gently.

“Thanks brat, now we definitely need to start getting ready to go.” Levi says, before collecting his abandoned cardigan and leaving for his own room.

He took a quick shower before, so he simply strips off his casual wear and dresses quickly into a clean, white shirt, his cravat, his black slacks and a waistcoat. Deciding to forgo his usual blazer in the overly warm temperature of the summer evening. He tucks away his firearm and combs his hair before looking in the mirror one more time.

He decides to leave the make up on.

Chapter Text

Chapter 16

Levi monitors the crowd as Rogue does her usual rounds when she’s not performing, as tonight is a Saturday, meaning its open mic night. Visiting queens of all ages, backgrounds, sizes and ethnicities come from all over the city to perform at Maria’s bar in order to showcase their talents, and each Saturday Rogue insists on meeting every single one of them.

The queens themselves can be anything from newbie kids on the scene looking for their initial platform into the business, established performers that like to tour the country and bring their act to brand new audiences nation-wide and even older, retired queens who like to do one-off shows just for the sheer hell of it. In the last several weeks, Levi has met countless new faces within the walls of Maria’s, each and every one of them different from the last, but all having one very specific thing in common. They all absolutely adore Rogue.

Levi has observed as the young drag queen has mingled and spread herself out evenly between all of the visiting performers that step into the club, ensuring she spends at least 10 minutes with each queen, giving pointers to the newer, more nervous ones when they need it and listening intently to the stories that the veteran acts like to share amongst each other. With each person, she gives them her full and complete attention, going in to the most miniscule of details when it’s requested of her and asking relevant questions when she feels it necessary. She does it all happily and without complaint, and if there was ever any doubt in Levi’s mind on whether she deserves all the attention she receives or not, it’s eradicated whenever he watches her interact with the other queens.

Currently, Rogue is in deep conversation with a performer that looks to be in her 60s or 70s and wearing a very gaudy, yellow evening gown with a bright orange wig worn in a fifties style and make up that looks like it’s been painted on for lack of a better term, looking like a cast member of a theatre production of Hairspray. A million miles away from the younger woman with the long, wavy, red hair and emerald green, strapless, fitted gown with a mermaid train, her face highlighted to perfection and tan body covered in glitter, giving off the vibe of a beautiful, seductive sea princess. They sit together on one of the purple silk sofas near the back of the club and close to the bar area, away from the loud speakers. Rogue is smiling happily at the elder queen, who is gesturing wildly in the midst of telling her tale.

Levi heads over to the bar to ask Reiner for a glass of water, keeping Rogue firmly in his sights, when Mikasa approaches him to his right. She’s wearing a lacy, red bralette that shows off her cleavage with white skinny jeans that make her legs look incredibly long and a pair of fire truck red platform heels. Levi notes she’s also curled her short hair at the ends and is wearing a bit of make-up, not something she’d normally do on one of her visits to the club. She looks at him for a second in mild surprise and gestures to his face.

“Eren do that for you?” She asks, referring to newly applied make-up.

“Yeah, he needed help with his new video, and I thought I’d keep it on for a while, try out something new. I might wash it off soon, probably makes me look stupid.” Levi says, looking down at the bar and not the woman currently scrutinising his face.

“No don’t, it looks good. Looks really good in fact. You should wear it more often.” She insists, and Levi notes that it’s the first time she’s ever paid him anything even remotely close to a compliment. It feels strange.

The air around them is quiet and awkward for a touch, until Mikasa breaks the silence once more.

“Listen, I wanted to apologise for how I’ve treated you this last while. I’ve been a real bitch recently when it comes to Eren and it’s not been fair on you. I guess it’s just touched a nerve that he doesn’t need me to take care of him as much anymore. But you’re doing a great job of it, better than I ever could have, and I’m sorry.” Mikasa says, anxiously watching Levi for any signs of anger or dismissal of her apology.

“Thank you.” Levi says, looking her in the eye properly for the first time, “And not that I don’t appreciate it, but what brought all this on? Last night you wouldn’t have pissed on me if I was set on fire, to put it bluntly. What changed?”

Mikasa looks a little uncomfortable before she answers his question, “Well, honestly, last night I got talking to Erwin for a couple hours and you came up briefly in conversation. I was…. less than kind in my descriptions of you and he was quick to come to your defence. He told me a little bit about you, nothing bad, just about the kind of friend you are. He also a mentioned a little about the time you were both in the military and some things you went through when you served….”

“What did he tell you? What the fuck do you know?” Levi asks sharply and abruptly, “You know, don’t you? Did he tell you about what happened? Because he had no right to do that! Stupid bastard!” He bangs his fist loudly on the edge of the bar and Mikasa holds on to his arm to stop him repeating the action.

“He didn’t tell me anything in detail, I swear! I’m not going to lie, he did hint that something big happened to you. Something bad. But he wouldn’t tell me what it was. I did ask, but he wouldn’t budge on the subject. But I figured that if it was anything as bad as what happened to Erwin’s arm…. then you’ve been through far too much and don’t need my pointless crap piled on top of it.” She says honestly, still holding on to his arm. He doesn’t really want her to let go right now, he could use the additional support and she seems to have sensed this also.

“My experience was quite a bit different from Erwin’s. Erwin was on the front lines of battle and had his arm blown off trying to save one of his subordinates, while I tried and failed to protect five of mine. We both left the military with physical and emotional scars that we’re damned to carry around with us every single fucking day, and while Erwin is happy enough to wear his with pride, I’m not quite there yet and I don’t think I ever will be.” Levi says, taking a deep, shaky breath.

“Levi, I don’t know what happened to you, but what I will say is that you don’t have to ever be okay with it. You don’t have to be like Erwin, you can take your experiences, lock them up tight in your mind and hide them as far away as you want. But I do think that you should at least tell Eren.” Mikasa advises gently, “You’re living together now, and honestly unless you ever decide to leave of your own volition, Eren is never gonna get rid of you. He idolises you and looks up to you, figuratively of course, so as far as I’m concerned, you’re in it for the long haul.”

“I’ll let the height jab slide, seeing as you’re trying to be nice to me for once.” Levi smirks and Mikasa returns it, “And you’re right, he deserves to know who he’s living with. I have tried to bring it up before, but I end up just not knowing what to say or how to begin. I do plan on telling him though, I just need a little more time. He’s been so honest with me about his life that it’s only fair if nothing else.”

“I take it he told you everything huh?” Mikasa asks, “The drugs, the rehab, the arrests…”

“Yeah, all of that stuff.” Levi pauses for a second to look at Mikasa’s face for a little longer this time, “He also told me about the time he hurt you too…. but I can’t see the mark he was talking about.”

Mikasa automatically tries to cover her right cheekbone with her hair, before letting it go and smiling a little ruefully, “You know, you’re not the only one that Eren has taught how to cover unwanted scarring.”

“Damn, and here was me thinking I’m special.” Levi jokes, before he’s tackled from behind in a tight hug.

“Levi!!!” Hange yells into his ear, squeezing and shaking him with vigour.

“Jesus, four eyes! Is there some kind of legislation that forces you to give me a fucking headache every time I see you?” Levi grumbles, rubbing at his now sore ear.

“You love me really.” She insists, “Now, I need me some alcohol!”

“That’s debatable. Where’s eyebrows?” Levi asks, looking around for the blond until he spots him making his way over to them. He’s dressed up tonight, Levi notices, he’s wearing a vibrant red cashmere sweater that hugs his toned muscles with dark designer jeans and dress shoes. He’s even styled his hair in a more casual manner than usual, it suits him but then again, he can pull off pretty much anything, Levi thinks.

With a small ‘Hi’ to Levi, he walks straight past his best friend, patting him on the back as he goes and stands next to Mikasa on the other side of the bar. He tentatively wraps his good arm around her shoulders and kisses her chastely on the cheek. She flushes and leans further into his touch, placing her own arm around his broad back. Hange is too busy chattering away to a busy Reiner, that she doesn’t even notice the exchange. Levi smirks to himself and turns around to look at where Rogue had been sitting. Had, being the optimal term, as she’s now nowhere to be seen.

Levi scans the entire room and can find no sign of her, within the throng of exuberantly dressed people she’d be hard to spot, but not impossible, so the fact he can’t see any sign of her at all is slightly worrying. He starts pacing around the room in long strides, looking for any indication that she may have left, or he’s simply not noticed her in the crowd, but the longer he looks the less likely that possibility seems. He takes the time to ask Connie up in his DJ deck if he’s seen her in the last half hour and comes up empty, he even spots a casually dressed Annie in the crowd with Jean and Maria, who confirm they also haven’t seen her since she arrived. He rushes backstage to see if she’s simply talking to any of the remaining drag queens scattered behind the curtain, but still she’s nowhere to be found.

He’s just beginning to feel the first stages of panic when he pokes his head into her dressing room and finds her sitting in the middle of the room with her head buried in one of her garments. On closer inspection, he notices that she’s crying silently. He approaches her slowly, trying not to alarm her when she’s like this, and kneels down gently next to where she sits legs crossed on the cold floor, the long train of her dress starting to wrinkle at the bottom.

“You doing okay there, kiddo?” He asks softly, not wanting to startle her too badly. Her shoulders do jump a little, but he can’t tell if its in surprise or she’s just let out a harsh sob, he bets on the latter. She shakes her head vigorously, refusing to look up at him.

“You wanna tell me what’s going on?” He questions, trying to coax her into relaxing in his presence. Her shoulders are tense, and her hands are shaking, still scrunched into the unrecognisable item of clothing. He places cool, gentle fingers on her bare shoulder and starts rubbing little circles into her skin, she’s warm with the exception of her hands and incredibly soft, little specks of glitter coming off on his fingertips, but he doesn’t stop the motion for a second.

“I almost fucked up again. I was so close to just….” She trails off, her body wracking in loud, painful sobs this time. Levi can’t hold himself back again longer, without thinking he scoops her up off the floor and carries her over to the small, green loveseat in the corner of the room. He sits on the comfy chair and places Rogue gently on his lap, she hides her face in the crook of his neck and continues to cry her heart out. He rubs her back and bare shoulders in an attempt to comfort and calm her down.

“Tell me what’s wrong.” He says encouragingly, “I can only help if you tell me what happened.”

Rogue continues to sob and sniffle a little, trying to pull herself together enough to give Levi and answer. Levi pulls the cravat off his neck and gives it to her to blow her nose, he can wash it thoroughly later, and she takes from him, wiping her tears before she starts off her shaky explanation.

“I needed to pee, so I went to the bathroom to untuck in one of the cubicles, and when I opened the door to an unlocked one there were already two girls in there kneeling on the floor, it was a couple of the younger drag queens I’ve been helping. The toilet seat lid was down, and they had several lines of coke spread out on it. They just laughed and offered to let me have some if I wanted.” She tearfully explains.

“Oh Rogue.” He says, understanding why she’s so upset all of a sudden, “Did you take any of it?”

She shakes her head, “No, I told them it was kind of them to offer but I didn’t want any and ran out of the bathroom. I somehow ended up here, I don’t even remember how.” Rogue wipes her remaining tears and begins trying to cool down her face with her cold hands.

“But you did want some of it, right?” Levi prompts, still rubbing her back in a soothing, affectionate gesture.

She nods sadly, “I was so tempted to just do a quick couple of lines right there and head straight back out, no one would be any the wiser. I’ve always been good at pretending I’m not completely wasted, I had enough experience. But I managed to stop myself, because quitting cocaine was probably one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do…. and honestly? I don’t think I could do it all over again.

But do you know what got me the most? The fact that no matter what I’ve been through, no matter how many months in rehab I had to do or how many people I’ve hurt through my addiction, I still could have fallen off the wagon in a split second. That’s all it took, a matter of seconds to tempt me, to undo everything I’ve worked so hard far. What if next time I’m not strong enough? What if more people end up hurt because of my inability to control myself?”

Levi sighs, “Look kid, you need to stop giving yourself such a hard time. Yes, you were tempted, but so what? You didn’t do anything wrong, and you may not believe me here, but you showed the utmost amount of strength in simply saying no. Think about it Rogue, you once confessed to me that you have robbed and threatened numerous people in the past just to scrape together enough cash for your next hit. And here you are, nearly 5 years later, getting offered lines for free and walking away in the opposite direction. I would say that’s pretty damn decent, wouldn’t you?”

“I guess.” Rogue sniffles into the cravat, “But I still wanted to say yes.”

“And that’s only to be expected, you’re not made of steel. You’re going to have urges and slip ups, but how you handle them is what really counts in the end. And you did perfectly, I mean it brat. I’m proud of you.” Levi says genuinely, a rare soft smile gracing his features and his hand resting on the small of the woman’s back. Rogue laughs shyly, a few tears still running down her cheeks, her meticulously perfected make up practically ruined.

“You mean it, you’re proud of me?” She asks, looking up at Levi through her haphazardly placed fake eyelashes.

“I wouldn’t say it if I didn’t mean it brat, just don’t be getting too used to it.” Levi jokes, smirking at the amusement now lighting up the pretty queen’s sad eyes, “I just need to know one thing, Ymir does body searches at the door, how did they get in with the drugs?” He asks curiously.

“The performers don’t get searched when they come in, they head in from the back door. One of them must have taken it in with them.” Rogue confirms, feeling a little silly from sitting in her bodyguard’s lap and begins to stand up. Levi grabs the crook of her arm lightly before she manages to get off him fully, “Do you think you could point out which ones it was if you were asked to?”

She nods an affirmative, “Yeah I know who they are, I spoke to them for a while tonight before they got on stage. Falco and Colt their real names are if I remember correctly, Maria knows them as well I think.”

“Okay, I’m gonna go speak to Ymir and let her know she’s gotta be a bit more vigilant with the people she’s letting in, performer or not they’ll need to be searched from now on. I’ll run it by Maria as well, she should know about the type of people that are performing on her stage, you know how anti-drugs she is. She’ll be furious.” Levi says, letting go of Rogue’s arm so she can stand and getting up so he can make his way out of the dressing room, “Do you want me to get you anything while I’m gone? Some water? Mikasa?”

“No, I’m fine thanks, I’m honestly okay now I swear. I’m just going to get changed and head back out for that drink I promised Hange.” Rogue insists, picking up some of her clean, casual wear from the rack next to her separation screen and privacy curtain.

“Alright, I’ll meet you back out there soon.”

+++

The dancefloor is packed and full of sweaty patrons as the night goes on, it’s around about midnight and they’ve had probably five strong cocktails each when Mikasa pulls Erwin into a hidden, dark corner of the club and kisses him passionately.

Their breaths and tongues dance together as Mikasa’s hands roam the strong muscles of his back, and he holds her tightly against him with both arms, real and prosthetic, as she does. They’d been flirting back and forth for the entirety of the previous night, engaging in interesting conversation before parting with an innocent kiss and a promise to see each other again the following night. And when they found themselves back in each other’s company earlier this evening, the air between them was almost magnetic and it was hard to keep their hands to themselves.

They kiss for a while longer before pausing for a short breath and continuing where they left off. Ever the dominant personalities in their every day lives, they each battle for possession of the kiss and Erwin wins with a slight edge. The edge being that Mikasa likes that he can take control of her with ease, a trait that not many of her previous make out partners had in the past.

He thrusts his skilled tongue into her hot, welcoming mouth and they moan together, locking fingers against the wall over Mikasa’s head. Erwin pulls away from the alluring, Asian beauty and begins leaving soft kisses down the side of her elongated neck as she pulls on his longer strands of hair, bringing him back to her lips once more and kissing him hard. They break apart finally, breathless and panting.

“Do you…. want to come home with me tonight?” Mikasa asks, softly caressing the side of his slightly stubbled face.

When he doesn’t answer right away, looking slightly torn at the suggestion, she heaves a deep sigh and continues.

“It’s fine if you don’t want to, I just thought that’s where this was leading, y’know? But I understand if you’re not interested or taken or whatever, it’s cool.” She says, the nonchalance in her tone not quite reaching her eyes.

“It’s not that, it’s not that at all, I promise. I’m not taken, nor am I in any way rejecting you. I just…. and it’s going to sound silly, but I would at least like to take you out on a proper date before we go any further. As much I would enjoy sharing your bed tonight, I think I would find it far more pleasurable if I know that I’ve at least treated you like a lady first.” Erwin says sheepishly, far less confident in his reasoning than he had been prior to opening his mouth.

“You want to…. Take me on a date?” Mikasa asks surprised, “I hadn’t even thought about that. I figured that since you’re leaving in little under a week, you’d be looking for a no strings attached kind of deal?”

“It can be that way if that’s what you want, I’m willing to take anything you’re willing to give me. But regardless, I still want to take you out first, show you a good time and spoil you a little. If you’ll have me that is?” Erwin asks with a nervous half smile.

Mikasa breathes out and lets her lips curve into a teasing smirk, “You’re going to break my little heart when you leave Erwin Smith, I can already tell. But yes, I would love to go on a date with you.”

Erwin grins at her happily and kisses her chastely on the lips, she takes his hand again and leads him away from their corner before turning to face him again.

“But for now, we’re gonna go out there and you’re gonna dance with me.” She winks.

+++

Rogue strips off her fancy clothing and changes into a comfortable, white, frilly blouse, a red pencil skirt with white fishnet tights underneath and ballet style flat shoes for the remainder of the night. She has just managed to clean up her face and tie her red hair up in a bun when Ymir bursts through her dressing room door.

“Ymir?! Is everything alright? Levi was looking for you, did you speak to him?” Rogue asks, curious as to why one of her closest friends has frantically forced her way into her private area and is holding out her cell phone.

“No, he didn’t, but it’ll need to wait. I’ve been trying to get past him for the last 15 minutes. We need to speak to you privately and this is important.” Ymir rambles, her freckled cheeks tinged pink from exertion, “I have Historia on the phone, she can’t make it here, but she has some news for you. I came as quickly as I could get away from the door.”

Rogue plucks the phone from Ymir’s fingers and holds it up to her ear, “Historia?”

“Hey Eren, I’m sorry for the dramatics but I couldn’t get through on your phone and I thought it best to speak with you while you’re alone or with Ymir with you at the very most.” Historia says, sounding a little stressed out.

“That’s alright, I was just changing anyway, what’s the matter?” Rogue asks curiously.

“I don’t quite know how to tell you this, Eren. I’ve only just received the news myself, Dirk called me about an hour ago and honestly, I’ve just been trying to wrap my head around it. Apparently, Urklyn tried to kill himself in his cell about a month ago. He managed to fashion a makeshift noose in attempt to hang himself, he wrote out a suicide note for dad and everything. I think that’s why he wanted me to go see him, to say goodbye.” Historia confirms, sounding like she can’t quite believe what she’s saying.

“Are you kidding me?!” Rogue yells down the phone, shaking her head in repulsion, “After everything he’s done, and he chooses to try and take the coward’s way out? I can’t believe him, where is he now then? Licking his wounds?”

“I know, it’s just standard Urklyn taking the easy route, no surprises there. But the thing is, by the time the guards found him, he’d cut off his own air supply completely and couldn’t get any oxygen to his brain. They attempted to manually feed him oxygen through a breathing tube, but he fell in to a coma. I wasn’t even told, and he’s been on life support for the last several weeks, until a couple of hours ago when they turned it off.” Historia states solemnly.

“Historia…. what are you trying to tell me? Just spit it out.” Rogue demands wearily.

“Urklyn’s dead, Eren.”

Chapter Text

Chapter 17

Eren wakes the next day to a horrible hangover, and what he can only describe as the sound of a hurricane in his kitchen. Levi must already be up and about, more than likely giving the place it’s weekly scrub down.

He’d admittedly went a little overboard with the alcohol last night, which he partly blames Hange for as she kept buying rounds of shots for no reason, he distinctly remembers telling her he’d had enough after the fourth shot of tequila, and then proceeded to drink some more. If he recalls correctly, Levi hadn’t been too impressed with his drunken antics. But he can’t for the life of him remember what he did.

The other reason he’d allowed himself to drink so much was to try and forget the memory of his almost slip up, and the news of Urklyn Reiss’s death.

Urklyn Reiss. Historia’s Brother. His old gang leader. Isabel and Farlan’s killer. The man he’d helped convict. Dead.

He couldn’t deny that part of him felt relief at the fact Urklyn is guaranteed to never hurt anybody again, but the for the most part he just feels sheer fury. He’s angry that he took the coward’s way out instead of doing the decent thing and serving the entirety of his sentence, then and only then would there be any form of justice served for the three lives he ended on that fateful night.

Before he can sit and stew in his anger for any longer, Eren gets out of bed and checks out his appearance in the bedroom mirror. He’s still wearing his red skirt, somehow managing to strip out of his blouse in the night leaving him shirtless and his wig is half hanging off his head. He doesn’t even want to look at the state of his make-up anymore, what the hell happened last night?

Eren also notes, with slight discomfort, that he’s remained tucked the entire night. He doesn’t like sleeping with his junk tucked, not only can it be dangerous, but it can be incredibly painful and sensitive the next morning. Normally he untucks after he’s changed following a show or when he gets home if he’s not passed out in the car on the way back, but obviously he hadn't been in his right mind to do so the night before.

He strips out of his skirt and takes off his wig and cap, attempting to brush out some of the tangles left in the once luscious, red locks. It’s no use, and he knows he’ll have to throw this one out. It’s a shame really, it was a nice wig. He gently untucks himself with a wince and decides today seems like a loose shorts type of day. He’s in dire need of coffee and some pain medication, so he leaves his bedroom and heads in the direction of the kitchen.

He finds Levi on his hands and knees on the kitchen floor, scrubbing away at the laminate flooring with a relatively disgusted look on his face. He’s wearing pink rubber gloves that reach all the way up to his elbows and a new cravat is covering his mouth and nose, with a bandana wrapped around his head to protect his hair. He looks up when he hears Eren enter the room, annoyance and weariness painting his sharp features. He pulls the cravat down to speak.

“Do you have any idea how many hours I’ve spent cleaning your vomit from the floors and couches? What the hell did you drink last night? Actually, forget that, what did you EAT and why is it orange?” Levi asks, nose turned up in disgust.

Eren thinks for a moment, trying to rack his brain when it suddenly hits him.

“I had a lot of alcohol last night. Can’t remember what exactly, but I do know there was a lot of tequila. Oh, I had like three large bags of Cheetos for dinner!” He exclaims and Levi scowls at him.

“That’s fucking disgusting. You do realise that shit isn’t food? Please tell me you at least had something else before that?” Levi asks hopefully.

Eren shrugs his shoulders with a sheepish grin and Levi rolls his eyes in exasperation, “Idiot, well that explains the amount of throwing up you did. Seriously, it was like a fucking hose. I had to wrestle you out of the car at 5am this morning after dropping off Shitty Glasses, Mulan and Captain America…. who were ALL fucking shitfaced, so that was an achievement all on it’s own. As soon as I got you in the door you decided you wanted to show me the contents of your stomach. You threw up here, there, there, on that, in your mom’s vase, on your shirt…. oh, and over there as well.” Levi says, pointing in various directions around the living room and kitchen.

“Well that explains why I feel like I’ve been hit by a bulldozer. Oh shit, I didn’t throw up on you, did I?” Eren asks with wide, worried eyes. Levi raises an eyebrow at him.

“Do you honestly think you’d be alive right now if you had, brat? No, luckily for you I managed to avoid the splash zones. It pays to have good reflexes.” Levi says, assessing the now clean floor before lifting his bucket off the floor and rinsing the dirty contents down the drain of the sink. He removes his rubber gloves and puts them away, removes his cravat and bandana before throwing them in the washing machine for a clean, Eren can also see his blouse is already in there, Levi must have removed it for him. Levi lets out a yawn behind his hand before starting up the machine.

“Did you manage to get any sleep last night at all Levi?” Eren questions, concerned for the exhausted looking man, almost swaying on his feet.

“Didn’t get a chance to, needed to get this finished before I went to bed. And before I knew it, it was already afternoon. Doesn’t matter, I don’t need that much sleep anyway.” Levi says, shrugging very obviously tired shoulders. Eren feels terrible for having caused the man to have so little sleep or resting time, it’s been all go recently and they’ve both been busy, Eren himself has barely been holding on, he suddenly feels incredibly selfish at the thought.

“You need sleep Levi, you haven’t been to bed in almost 24 hours, and I know you only got a few hours then too. It’s only just gone noon, why don’t you go to bed for a bit and I’ll wake you up to get ready for dinner?” Eren suggests, resting a hand on Levi’s shoulder. He looks like he’s about to argue for a second but is inevitably far too tired to do so.

“Alright, I’ll go and get a couple hours if it’ll quit your whining. Wake me up at six, that’ll give me enough time to get showered and dressed before we need to leave. Can I trust you not to destroy the place while I’m gone? I’ve just spent the last 6 hours making it spotless.” Levi smirks, letting his arms droops at his sides.

“I’m a big boy Levi and been living alone for a long enough time before you showed up. So yes, you can trust me, the house will be just as clean when you get back up.” Eren assures, “Unless of course you need a snuggle buddy, or someone to sing you a lullaby?”

“I might be exhausted, but that doesn’t mean I can’t kick your ass.” Levi threatens, and Eren laughs loudly in response, the sheer sound of it making him want to tear his own voice box out. Honestly, hangover headaches were the worst, second only to migraines. Those were a bitch.

“I believe you, now go to bed old man.” Eren turns away, facing the kettle and switching it on to boil, grabbing his favourite mug and scooping in two spoonfuls of coffee. When he turns back around, he notices Levi hasn’t yet left, simply resting against the wall with his arms crossed, looking at Eren with an amused expression.

“You know, you made a very similar offer last night when I put you to bed.” Levi teases, smirking at Eren’s confused face.

“What do you mean? What offer?” Eren asks.

“Well, you offered to let me share your bed last night. Told me you needed me to hold you tight until you fell asleep, said you’d keep me safe in your arms. Or something of the like…. anyway, night kid.” Levi calls behind him as he makes his way to bed, leaving Eren standing dumbfounded in the middle of the kitchen.

Well shit, he thinks.

+++

Eren managed to wake Levi at just before 6pm as per his request, and they manage to get ready and over to Jean and Marco’s place in time for dinner without much incident.

Eren had been productive in the hours that Levi was asleep, he’d managed to edit, render and upload his new video featuring the addition of Levi and the views began pouring in right away. He’d decided to be a little self-indulgent and made the thumbnail a picture of him grinning widely with an arm slung around the shoulders of a grumpy Levi, looking at him with complete disdain. He loved the picture so much, he even made it his cellphone wallpaper.

The views and comments on the video were going up by the second. Eren even read a couple aloud to Levi in the car on the drive over.

“Listen to these, ‘OMG I LOVE LEVI SO MUCH! He’s like the grumpy cat meme. I want to see more of him!’

‘Eren’s roommate is so sassy, it’s hysterical. Also massive respect to him for being a veteran, we appreciate the sacrifices you’ve made for the country!’

‘EREN PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE MAKE LEVI A REGULAR ON YOUR SHOW, YOU TWO ARE SO FUNNY TOGETHER HAJKHSAAA!!!!’

‘Wow Levi is hawwwwt, sry not sry.’

‘The way Eren looks at Levi at….

You know what, I think that’s enough for today! We’re nearly there anyway.” Eren said quickly, trying valiantly to hide his blush. Luckily, Levi’s attention seemed to be fixed on the road ahead, so he’d gotten away with it.

Currently, a cheery looking Marco greets the pair at the door as usual and gives them both a hug before leading them through to the dining room. To Levi’s shock and surprise, a very hungover Erwin and Hange are present and already sitting at the dinner table, their heads hanging limply and barely conscious to the world around them.

“Erwin? Hange? What are you two fuckwads doing here?” Levi asks, probably a tad louder than necessary, but then again, he reckons they deserve it for the shit they pulled on him last night. Being sober has its perks but not when you’re left to hold up a big blond lump who can’t keep control of his legs and hunt down a bespectacled moron running off in a strange city.

“Please Levi…. Not so loud.” Hange begs, resting a weary hand on her forehead as Erwin pinches the bridge of his nose.

“OH REALLY? YOU NEED ME TO BE QUIET DO YOU?!” Levi yells at them, a sadistic smirk gracing his lips. Even Eren, who’d managed to calm his headache down in the last few hours, recoiled in discomfort at the sound.

Marco chuckles and explains, “I invited them here, we were talking over a couple drinks on Friday and I mentioned we have a weekly dinner, so I asked them to come along. Plus, with the night they’ve had, a good feed is definitely in order! I take it you guys all had a good time at the bar?” He asks teasingly.

"I'm sorry Marco, I can't promise your bar is still there, because I think I drank it." Erwin says pathetically, sipping on a glass of water.

“Whoever that was shouting, you should know I’m not past murdering you in your sleep.” Mikasa says as she enters the room, wearing a pair of dark sunglasses and holding more glasses in order to set the table with Reiner in tow, carrying a box containing the rest. He looks very amused at the proceedings and beams at Levi as he passes.

“I think I may have made their drinks a little too strong last night, my apologies for the aftermath, I heard you had to get them home all by yourself. How the hell d’ya pull that one off?”

“Tch, it was far from my first time hauling drunk asses home, these two especially.” Levi says, gesturing to Erwin and Hange, “Back in our trainee days, they were notorious for sneaking out and I was always the one left to make sure they didn’t get themselves caught or killed. Then my own squad would do the same when they I thought I’d gone to bed, always far from subtle.”

“Ah, the good ole days!” Hange remarks from her seat, perking up slightly at the mention of their training days. They were, in fact, some of her best memories. She had made a best friend in Erwin, a boyfriend turned best friend in Levi, and countless comrades both alive and dead that she thought of with nothing but nostalgic happiness in her heart. Plus, if she’d never joined up when she did, she’d never have made Commander and met Moblit Berner, her husband and love of her life. She fiddles slightly with the chain around her neck as she thinks of him.

“Hey everyone!” Connie calls from the doorway, carrying baby Kaya in his arms, “Look who’s calmed down and ready to say hello properly.”

Levi visibly brightens when he sees the little girl, and when she spots him too, she throws her arms out and tries to wriggle out of Connie’s hold. Acting quickly, he takes her from Connie, who transfers her over with a laugh.

“Someone’s excited to see Uncle Levi, it seems. She'd been a little too loud earlier for the fragile folk.”

Taken aback slightly, Levi holds Kaya tightly in his arms as she babbles her baby talk animatedly at him, evidently trying to tell him all of her exciting stories. He adores Kaya, he really does, but he didn't expect Connie and Sasha to award him with the title of “Uncle” so soon. Sasha had gradually begun to relax around him after a couple of weeks of knowing each other, and now they get on like a house on fire. She happily traded off her favourite recipes to him in exchange for his best cleaning tips and advice, as having an almost 10-month-old child is bound to bring about all kinds of mess. Levi was a godsend to her in that regard.

“Well, I’m also excited to see my favourite little princess, isn’t that right sweetheart?” Levi coos at Kaya, as she grabs and inspects the grey sweater he’s chosen to wear for the evening. He lets her do her usual exploring of his clothes and face, using her little hands to paw at him happily before settling in his arms.

“Now that’s a sight I haven’t seen in a while.” Erwin says with a chuckle, evidently remembering the days when he’d come home with Levi whilst on leave and they’d help Alice by feeding the babies and younger children so she could get all of the older ones bathed and put to bed for the evening. By this point, Isabel had been in college and had been coming home late from her studies or had been with Farlan, so a few extra sets of hands had never gone amiss.

Annie enters the room after some time, as the rest of the guests begin taking their seats, holding a large dish of an undeterminable kind of food and lays it on the table, “Jean and Sasha are just finishing up, so dinner shouldn’t be too long. Marco is just getting the wine.” She says, as she takes her usual seat between Reiner and Eren. There are four sets of groans at the mention of wine.

Eren notices that Erwin and Hange are sitting in Historia and Ymir’s usual seats, he thinks he knows the answer, but he decides to ask anyway, “Marco, where are the girls tonight?”

“I’m assuming you mean Historia and Ymir? Apparently, Historia had a family emergency, so she and Ymir had to drive all the way to Marley last night and they’re just back this afternoon, so they’ve gone to bed. Ridiculous if you ask me, after the way her daddy treated her.” Marco says in disgust, just as Jean enters the room, carrying a large turkey and setting it on the table with the rest of the food, before sitting in his usual chair. Sasha also takes her seat between Connie and Erwin.

“Yeah, well that’s not for us to decide babe. You know how complicated families can be, we aren’t ones to judge.” Jean says diplomatically, remembering the numerous issues he’s had with his own family and knowing how quickly he’d drop everything to help them if necessary.

“Maybe not, but I did say to the girls that they could come by later this evening if they want to have something decent for dinner. Doubt they’ll come mind you. Anyway, enough of that business, let’s eat!” Marco says.

+++

Levi has just finished his large helping of dessert and is feeding Kaya little tastes of ice cream from his plate. He usually lets her have a bit of cream when it’s served, as she’s not used to solids yet, but she’s not had ice cream before. The way her face screws up in confusion and delight at the new sensation makes him unexplainably fuzzy inside as he watches her enjoy the treat. She soon becomes sleepy and restless however, so Sasha takes her from him and puts her down for a nap.

Everyone has scattered in their own conversations in the living room after clean up, and he finds himself in a strange game of ‘would you rather’ with Jean, Eren, Connie and Hange, and are in the midst of a debate on whether they’d rather fight thirty regular sized men or one thirty foot tall man, when the doorbell rings.

“Huh? I guess the girls decided to come by after all….” Marco surmises, as he gets out of his armchair and goes to answer the front door.

“Anyway, as I was saying, surely a man that stands that tall must only have one particular weak point, and if I’m correct, that would be at the nape of the neck where the spinal cord connects, so how on Earth would you suppose to get up there and weaken it? I’m telling you, 30 regular sized men would be easier.” Hange argues passionately, gesturing wildly and nearly spilling her water in the process.

“Yeah, but the question wasn’t what would be easier, it was which would you rather fight? And I would rather fight the giant.” Levi says easily, “I think I could take it down.”

“My money would be on you.” Eren agrees, “You may be short, but you can be terrifying, I think you could probably take the thing out with just a glare, it would probably shit itself.”

“I agree, you’d just activate your super-saiyan mode and it would be game over.” Jean jokes, just as Marco stands at the doorway with a grin.

“Everybody!” He calls in to the room, “So, it seems we have a very special, surprise guest for dinner this evening!”

He grabs the arm of the person hiding next to the doorway, and presents a man with short blond hair, wearing a suit and tie, and waving sheepishly into the room.

“Hello….” He singsongs with a bright smile that makes Levi’s heart lurch and he swears he feels it stopping for a second. He can sense his own jaw dropping in shock, as he’s faced with someone he hasn’t seen in almost 2 years, a face he thought he’d never see again. The face that appears in his nightmares, a face that he expects will no longer be smiling when he notices the inhabitants of the room.

Levi looks to his left and locks eyes with Hange, who seems to be just as surprised by the turn of the events as he is.

“Oh my god! You’re back!” Annie yelps, as she runs into the man’s arms and he lifts her with ease, spinning her round and kissing her lips softly as he brings her back to the ground. Marco shakes his head with laughter, and goes to stand next to Jean, who wraps him in a hug of his own.

“I missed you!” She cries, wrists crossed behind the man’s neck.

“I missed you too baby.” He says, looking into her eyes and rubbing her nose with his in an eskimo kiss.

Mikasa and Eren are next to excitedly greet the blond man, hugging him tightly and demanding to know when he came back, where he’s been and when he’ll be leaving again. However, before he gets a chance to answer any of their rapid-fire questions, he looks past them and locks eyes with Levi.

The man doesn’t look angry, sad or even confused, as Levi may have expected him to. Instead, he simply side-steps his friends and walks in front of where Levi is standing. The room is silent as he does so, and Levi unconsciously takes a deep, steadying breath at the action.

The man is mere centimetres taller than he is, so they end up looking straight into one another’s face, and to Levi’s shock, the boys smiles at him. A real smile, not a fake or a sad one, a real, genuine smile.

This is not going the way Levi had expected it to, if the pair were ever to meet again. He’s imagined this scenario in his head more times than he can count, but unlike the way it plays out in his mind, there is no loud shouting, no angry accusations, no running tears and no hurt evident in the man's face. Just silence and a smile. And Levi has no clue what to do.

Before he can think any further on it, the man raises his right hand in a fist, and Levi braces himself for the inevitable punch, to his face, abdomen, genitals…. he’s unsure where it’s going to land, until the man inverts the fist and holds it to his chest, over his heart, in the unique salute of their team.

The salute of their specialist squad. The Black Ops. The Recon Corps. Whatever you wanted to call it. The symbol still meant the same thing no matter what name you give it, the sign of offering up your heart. The sign of pure trust and respect, something that Levi assumed he’d lost in the months they spent in captivity together. When Levi couldn’t protect him in the way a leader should.

Levi doesn’t hesitate this time and returns the salute with vigour. The man’s smile becomes impossibly wider and Levi notices a small tear escapes the corner of his eye at the gesture.

He can see Annie, Mikasa and Eren watching them, looking hopeful, confused and bewildered respectively. And he realises that Annie knows, she’s known all along, and she’s said nothing at all in the time they’ve known each other.

However, before he can ponder on it any further, the man addresses him for the first time since they last met, which in this moment, feels like a million years ago.

“Lance Corporal Levi Ackerman, it’s been a long time.” The man says, the tiniest of hint of shakiness in his voice at the words.

“It has indeed, Private Armin Arlert.”

Chapter Text

Chapter 18

Levi and Armin are left alone together in the vast living room, sitting next to one another on Jean and Marco’s large, cream, three-seater sofa. Neither of them has spoken a word since everybody else made themselves scarce.

After Hange had taken the time to say hello to Armin and ramble some barely audible apologies before rushing to the bathroom in a flurry of guilt-ridden tears, Marco took that as his cue to wrestle everybody else out and back into the dining room to give the pair some space to talk properly.

However, now that he’s been given the privacy to finally confront in his demons in the form of his ex-comrade and subordinate, he can’t think of a single thing to say. Words have never been his strong point, he’s always felt that actions speak louder than words, but what can he do to even begin to make things up to the kid? Nothing, that’s what.

And he knows Armin well enough to realise that words are exactly what he needs to hear right now. Armin’s a rational, intelligent human being, who makes sense of the world around him with facts and probability, a large gesture of apology isn’t going to give him the closure he needs on this particular issue. And at the very least, Levi knows that Armin deserves an explanation on why he acted the way he did at the hospital, on the day they saw each other for the last time.

Levi is about to open his mouth in an attempt at some words but is thankfully interrupted by a red-faced Marco coming in to the room with a tray consisting of two mugs and a large bowl of biscuits.

“I’m so sorry to intrude, but I just made coffee for everyone and I thought you’d like some brought in as well. Armin, I made yours with two sugars and a little cream, just the way you like it. And Levi, I made you some tea instead, I know you prefer it. Anyways tuck in and if you need anything else, just holler.”

He sets the tray gently on to the coffee table in front of them and leaves the room just as quickly as he arrived. Levi stares at the door after him for a second, as Armin leans over and picks up his coffee and a biscuit.

“Tea? You haven’t changed a bit, have you Levi?” Armin teases gently, in his own little attempt to break the silence. He eats the biscuit in his hand and waits patiently for a response, gaze drifting between both Levi and his own mug of coffee.

Levi’s shoulders begin to relax ever so slightly, and it takes a minute, but he realises that Armin has also been struggling to think of what to say just as much as he has up until now. Despite everything that’s happened in the past, Armin also has his own explaining to do. Namely, why Annie has known about Levi all this time and not said anything about it? Did he even know that Levi was here? Is that why he was brought here in the first place? Does that mean Eren knows too?

“I’ve changed.” Levi insists, lifting his own mug to his lips, “Not in the best of ways I must admit. But I have changed. You’ve changed too though. You’re not the scrawny brat I once knew anymore. Got rid of the mushroom cut, I see.”

Armin laughs nervously and lifts his now free hand to the short, blond strands of hair at the back of his head. Levi remembers a time when it had reached down past his chin and almost to his shoulders, fringe growing to cover his bright blue eyes in the period it wasn’t cut for months on end.

“Yeah…. I needed a change after a while. I got it cut not long after we got back, started going to the gym as well, worked on making myself a lot stronger and more agile. Like you, I guess…. Plus, it was a great stress relief, took my mind off a lot of stuff y’know? Annie helped me in that way too, with the working out…. and everything else.” Armin explains, staring intently down into his coffee cup by the end.

Levi says nothing, taking a long drink from his tea before it’s completely drained from his mug and he has nothing to hide behind anymore. He reluctantly sets it back down on the table and breathes a heavy sigh.

“I’m sorry Armin. I didn’t mean for any of it to happen and if there was a way for me to go back and change it all…. I should have just listened to you kid, instead of being so fucking arrogant, I should have listened and got everybody to clear out when you said. You warned me, and I wouldn’t hear any of it.” Levi says, unable to make direct eye contact with Armin.

“You were my Lance Corporal, I was supposed to follow your orders. You were just doing your job, and it was my first mission, there was no real reason for you to listen to me. You didn’t do anything wrong Levi!” Armin exclaims and holds on to Levi’s wrist, imploring him to look at him properly.

“But you knew we were walking into an ambush, you tried to warn me….”

“It was only a hunch….”

“And you were still right! I’d commended you before on your instincts and told you to always trust your gut…. and then I went and ignored you, put the lives of everyone on my team in jeopardy and watched for months as they….” Levi falters, holding his head in his hands. Armin moves the hand he has on Levi’s wrist and uses it pull Levi’s away from his face.

“You’re allowed to say the actual words you know? Nothing bad is going to happen if you say it out loud.” Armin says encouragingly as Levi brings his head up to meet his gaze.

“I can’t….”

“You can, Levi. You can say it. It’s all in the past now, nothing bad can come from it.” Armin insists.

Levi lets out a deep breath and looks Armin in the eye. The colour beginning to drain from his face without him realising.

“I watched them stick needles through Oluo’s tongue until he begged for mercy, he still can’t talk properly because of that. I saw them take Petra away so they could shove god knows what inside her…she’s infertile now, she and Oluo have to adopt if they want to have a family, they took that choice away from those two. They stomped on Eld’s spine right in front of my eyes and broke Gunther’s neck because he refused to join in, they’re lucky to be alive today….” Levi says, before his breath hitches at the next words.

“Yes Levi, and what else?” Armin asks patiently, “And what else did you see?”

“And I watched as those bastards raped you every single day, taking turns and passing you around, all because I couldn’t be the one to do it.” Levi admits finally.

Armin nods sadly, “They did that, yes. But don’t you for one second think that they only did that because you wouldn’t succumb to their sick fantasies. They would have raped me anyway. Probably straight after in fact. And you’re forgetting that I watched them hurt you too. I was there when they did that, remember?” He asks, pointing at the scars on Levi’s face, “I watched as they held you down on that stove until you were bleeding and the skin tore away from your face. I saw them electrocute you whenever you refused to watch what they were doing to me. But most importantly, I remember seeing how hard you tried to protect me, how you tried to protect us all. The way you comforted me after each time, how you would stand up to them despite being cuffed, beaten, starving and exhausted, and the way you tried your damnedest to keep everybody strong. Every time I wanted to give up, every time I just wanted to give in and die, you were there to pick me up and remind me of my reasons to live.”

Levi stares blankly with unshed tears as he listens to Armin, who grabs Levi by the neck and pulls him close so their foreheads are touching.

“Listen to me when I say this. You, Lance Corporal Levi, are not to blame for all of those horrible things that happened to us. You are the reason we stayed strong, you’re the reason I got the courage to finally tell Annie how I felt when I got home, you’re the reason I am the man I am today. And you Levi, are the reason I’m alive right now.” Armin assures him, and for the first time in the last 2 years, Levi feels the waves of guilt beginning to slowly disappear.

+++

Once Hange has washed her face and cleaned herself up, she heads back towards the living room but instead finds the majority of everyone sitting in the dining room, with the exception of a raging Eren, who is standing and gripping at the edges of his chair as he confronts a stone faced Annie, who looks only at the table that separates them.

“You better start talking Annie, or I swear to god I’ll….” Eren begins.

“What are you gonna do to me Eren? You don’t even understand what’s happening here, and clearly you aren’t mature enough to know if you resort to threatening your friends when you don’t get your own way.” Annie bites back scathingly, glaring at him as she does.

“Last time I checked, friends don’t lie to each other.” Eren retorts, “Now, you told me that I should hire Levi because he’s the best in the business, and that I would be safer with him than anybody else available for hire. Was that actually true or was it all just a ruse to get him to come here? And for what reason?”

“I wasn’t lying about all that Eren, he truly is the best at what he does. But I’m not going to lie, part of it was solely to get him to come here, for Armin’s sake, but just so that they could talk and clear the air. I know how much Armin has wanted to see him….”

“But I don’t understand why.” Mikasa interrupts, “How do they even know each other? It’s not like they run in the same circles.”

“I can’t tell you that.” Annie sighs, and Mikasa rolls her eyes. Erwin sits next to her and wraps an arm around her shoulders. Hange takes the chair next to Marco and Jean, who are huddled together with their coffee in their hands.

“What do you mean you ‘can’t’?” Eren asks incredulously, “Armin is my best friend and Levi’s my…. we live together. I have a right to know, Annie.”

“I know you do, and I agree. But it’s not my story to tell. I thought that maybe Levi would have told you by now, but I also understand why he hasn’t, I remember how Armin was when he was working up the courage to tell me….” Annie trails off, her memory of Armin’s broken expression when he told her the truth of what happened to him, and his unfounded fear that she would leave him for somebody who wasn’t “damaged goods” when she finally knew.

“I really wish you would stop talking in fucking riddles!” Eren yells at her, exasperated.

“Eren! I understand you’re frustrated, but please be kind. She’s still your friend, and I imagine that if she and Armin are keeping secrets from you, it has to be for a real good reason.” Marco says gently from his seat.

Eren simply shakes his head in response and sits down in his chair, still fuming away to himself.

“Eren, please just trust me. Levi is a good man, from what Armin has told me and from what I’ve seen for myself, I truly trust him with your life. In fact, I’d go as far as to say I’d trust him with the lives of everybody in this house. And you know that I love Armin, I love him with all of my heart, and I’ll do anything I can to see him happy and fulfilled in life. You can be angry with me all you want, but don’t blame them. I did what I thought was best for everyone, so that we all could move on with our lives and be happy together, you have to believe me Eren, please believe me.” Annie begs, taking one of Eren’s larger hands in her own.

Eren remains silent at the contact, but at the same time, he doesn’t pull away.

+++

“So, you’ve got some explaining to do to, kid.” Levi says, raising an eyebrow at Armin with a smirk.

“Uh yeah…. I guess I do, don’t I?” Armin responds sheepishly, scratching at the back of his head, “What do you want to know?”

“I want to know how much Annie knows, and why she hasn’t told anybody about me.” Levi says easily, folding his arms and resting back on the sofa.

“Truthfully? She knows everything. But I didn’t know that she’d gotten Eren to hire you until you’d already arrived here. She admitted what she’d done when I came back on leave for a couple of weeks. I wanted to be angry with her, but I knew she only had the best of intentions. She speaks very highly of you, Levi. But then again, I always knew she would if you ever had the chance to meet.” Armin says with a smile.

“Oh yeah, and Annie? If I remember correctly, you told me back then that the name of the girl you were in love with was Amanda.” Levi teases, “Are you leading a third separate life that nobody knows about?”

Armin laughs genuinely, “Annie’s real name is Amanda Leonhart, but she hates that name and never goes by Amanda. I just felt that it’s only fair for a man to keep a few details to himself, especially when everything else I out in the open for everyone to see.”

“I can respect that.” Levi says with a simple nod.

“You know, I had planned to see you at dinner a couple of months ago when I was here, but Eren said you were too tired and went back to your hotel instead.” Armin explains, “I thought at the time it was probably a blessing in disguise, but then I hadn’t realised how long I was gonna be gone again for work.”

“You never said, what is it you’re doing these days?” Levi asks curiously.

“Officially, I work for the Government as part of their counter-terrorism specialist team based in Stohess. That’s as much as everybody here knows, but truthfully? I’m out in the field more often than they know, even Annie, the Underground are still out there and they’re very much at large. I have to at least try and bring them down once and for all.”

“Armin.” Levi sighs, “You know as well as I do that it’s impossible to get anywhere near them.”

“All I can do is try Levi, they deserve to pay for what they’ve done and I’m gonna make sure that nobody else has to go through what we did.” Armin insists, looking determined and self-assured.

“Armin.... the men that did those things to us are dead and gone, Hange made sure of that. And we don’t know what they’ve left behind, all we know is that the Underground are far bigger and far more advanced than we ever could have imagined. You could work your whole life for just a whisper and nothing else. It’s why I chose to get out when I did. To leave behind everything that even remotely reminded me of that life. Or at least, that had been my plan, until Erwin hired me, Oluo and Petra to work within the same company under his command again.” Levi says, clasping his hands in his lap and looking down at them.

“Is that why you left the hospital without saying goodbye?” Armin asks, and Levi winces as he knew the question was bound to come up, “We spent almost 4 months in that hell hole, we saw each other at our absolute worst, and we survived it together. And then you left me there in my hospital bed, I saw you and you just walked away without another word. I didn’t even get a chance to say goodbye or how grateful I was for everything you’d done for me. Eld, Gunther, Petra and even Oluo came to say farewell as we were discharged, so why didn’t you?”

“I couldn’t bear to look you in the eyes, Armin. I was a coward. Because I knew that when we left that hospital, we could never just go back to our normal lives and everything would be okay. We’d always have to live with what happened, you would always wake up in the morning and remember what they did, you’d probably still expect to happen again for a time, unable to differentiate what’s real and what’s a memory. I felt like I was the cause of that, and I couldn’t bring myself to say goodbye knowing that’s what I was leaving behind. That you’d always have the memory of their filthy hands on you as you were violated…. I still have those memories, I still have nightmares of how you’d cry right after they’d finished with you for the day, and at night before you’d go to sleep.” Levi explains solemnly.

“I have those memories too Levi, of course I do. I can never forget what happened, but you know what? I can live with it. I can live with it because I know that every day, I get to wake up and they don’t. I can get up, have coffee in the morning, go to work, see my friends, kiss my fiancé, sleep with her in my arms and wake up just to do it all over again. And when I do have those nightmares, I can just wake up and the love of my life is right there with me to give comfort whenever I need it. Or that’s she’s just a simple phone call away.” Armin says, smiling softly, “I don’t let what happened back then limit my life now. Because any day, I could die without warning, and I’d like to die knowing that I lived in the moment and not in the past.”

“I wish I could be like you Armin. And believe me, I never thought I’d say that. But you’re…. happy, you have a life, a real one with purpose, with friends and people you love. You’re so positive despite the shitty hand you’ve been dealt. I wish I could see the world the way you see it.” Levi says with a sad smile.

“But you can! You could if you let yourself! Annie has explained to me that you’re a little uncomfortable around…. certain types of people. Men especially. Is that because of me?” Armin asks gently.

“Not because of you, no. Because of what they did to you and what they tried to make me do…. I admit, I went through a period of such hate and disgust towards gay men, because no matter how hard I tried to ignore what was happening around me, it all just reminded me of them. I couldn’t separate my feelings when I would see couples kissing or holding hands out in the street, all I could see was you, crying and yelling out in agony. I’ve…. gotten better at it though, Eren has helped me a lot in that regard, he’s a little shit but against my better judgement I do care about him, probably more than I care to admit. Marco and Jean too, they’re good people.” Levi admits, looking at Armin with an expression of resignation.

“They’re the best, I agree. You’re surrounded by good people Levi, you just need to allow yourself a chance at happiness, to let them in completely.” Armin says, and before Levi can respond with anything further, Eren bursts through the door looking impatient and angry.

Annie follows him in, disgruntled and exasperated at Eren’s lack of understanding at the word ‘patience’ or ‘privacy’.

“Eren, I told you to give them space to talk before you came barging in here! You never listen to me.” Annie huffs, but Eren ignores her completely.

“Look, I know I’m interrupting and that I’m way out of line here, but I’m driving myself crazy! I hate not knowing what’s going on and I’d like for you both to explain what exactly is happening here.” Eren demands, fists clenched and hanging by his sides, breathing heavily as he does.

“I’m sorry guys, I tried to stop him.” Annie says shyly, scratching the back of her head in the same way Armin does when he’s backed into a corner, Levi notes.

“It’s fine, I think we said everything we needed to say, didn’t we Levi?” Armin asks.

“We did, and we’re alright now.” Levi confirms, “Thank you Annie, y’know, for this.” He gestures vaguely with his hand between himself and Armin.

Annie nods and gives him a small smile at his gratitude.

“Okay, so now that everything seems to be all fine and dandy, does somebody mind explaining what the hell is going on?” Eren questions impatiently. Levi takes an annoyed breath and walks over to where Eren is standing, grabs his arm and pulls him to sit between himself and Armin on the sofa.

“Annie, mind shutting the door for me? As much as I’m willing to open up today, I’m not sure everybody else needs to hear this yet. Hange and Erwin obviously already know, but the rest of Armin’s friends should be spared the details, at least for today.” Levi clarifies, still holding on to Eren. Annie wordlessly closes door and moves to sit on one of the armchairs facing the sofa.

“It’s okay that I stay right?” Annie asks, “I’ve heard the story from Armin, but I’d still also like to hear your version of things Levi. And I want to be here…. y’know, for the difficult parts.”

“What difficult parts?!” Eren questions, confusion spread all over his face, “Levi, you’re scaring me, what’s going on?”

Levi takes one look at Eren’s wide, mismatched eyes, so filled with emotion and worry that Levi can’t deny him any further. Levi doesn’t think he’s ever seen Eren look so young or vulnerable before, not even when he was describing the details of his own hidden past, in a very familiar setting to now in fact. Levi takes a hold of one of Eren’s hands without hesitation, linking their fingers together and resting his other hand underneath Eren’s palm.

“Please don’t be scared, I need you to be strong for me right now, because I can’t guarantee I can get through this entire story alone and Armin is going to need you too. Can you do that for me?” Levi asks, and Eren gives him a wide-eyed but determined nod of his head.

“Before we say anything Eren, there are gonna be things in this story I haven’t told you before now, and I need you to not get mad at me….” Armin says sheepishly, “I haven’t been completely honest with you.”

“I don’t care about any of that right now!” Eren insists, “I just want to know that you’re okay! Both of you!” He says, looking at both of his friends on either side of him.

“Okay, well then I guess it’s time you know the truth.” Armin says with a rueful smile, taking Eren’s other hand in his for support.

“Yeah.” Levi confirms, “It’s time.”

Chapter Text

Chapter 19

To you, 2 and a half years earlier…

Levi is almost finished clearing the hideous amount of paper work on Erwin’s last mission from his desk when he hears a light knocking on his office door, three mini taps in succession, indicating it must be Petra.

“Come in, Ral!” Levi calls out and Petra quietly lets herself in and closes the door softly behind her.

“Lance Corporal, Commander Hange has asked me to let you know that she wishes to speak with you in her office immediately.” Petra says, standing rigidly with her hands behind her back, not quite making eye-contact with her superior.

“Well can’t it wait? I still have all this shit to clear.” Levi remarks, gesturing towards the small piles of papers still left lying around.

“I got the impression that it can’t, Lance Corporal.” Petra responds, still in perfect form until Levi rolls his eyes and drops the file he’d been holding haphazardly back on to his side table.

“You can relax Petra, there are no higher ups around and Hange can barely remember to wash herself never mind rank or decorum. Let’s go.” Levi instructs, ushering Petra out of his office and locking the door behind him before they set off in the direction of their Commander’s office, “Do you know if it’s about Erwin?”

“I’m not sure, last I heard he was awake at least. Forgive me for asking Levi, but is it true he’s lost the use of his right arm? That’s the rumour going around right now, and I know I shouldn’t be listening to idle gossip but…”

“He’s lost the arm completely.” Levi confirms with a grimace, “But that’s strictly confidential, you understand?”

Petra stops in her tracks for a millisecond, shock evident in her expression before she rights herself and nods curtly, continuing to walk alongside her Lance Corporal as if she hasn’t just been let in on probably the best kept secret on base right now.

They reach Hange’s new office, that she’s inherited from Erwin, in no time. They are currently based at their remote Headquarters in the Trostian countryside, as they have been for the last 3 years, and although the setting is familiar to him, he’s still never found himself completely settled here, not even in the comfort of his own office quarters. The plan is to move Headquarters to Stohess in the next year or so, but Levi isn’t quite sure he’s ready to pack up and leave his home town any time soon.

Petra instinctively reaches up to knock before Levi simply lets himself in without so much as an introduction, she scurries in after him and closes the door behind them.

“Commander Hange, I have retrieved Lance Corporal Levi as per your instructions.” Petra says, falling back into her stiff posture out of habit rather than fear of discipline at this point.

“Thank you Ral, you are dismissed.” Hange orders politely. Petra nods and salutes to her superiors in their distinct way with a hand over her chest before leaving the room quietly. Hange waits until she can hear her retreating footsteps before she addresses Levi for the first time today.

“Levi, I imagine you’re wondering why I’ve summoned you here so suddenly and without appointment.” Hange says, moving next to the coffee machine she was permitted to have to herself and pouring two steaming cups, proffering one to Levi. He knows it will taste like shit, Hange can’t make coffee to save herself, but he takes it anyway. She sits in her chair and gestures for Levi to sit in the one opposite her desk.

“I’m assuming that due to the lack of company and the fact it couldn’t wait until I’d finished what I was doing, it’s important and something you’d rather not say in front of the others, so I’m gonna hedge a guess and say it’s to do with Erwin?” Levi deadpans, sitting in the chair and setting his coffee on the incredibly messy desk that makes him want to gouge out his own eyes rather than look at it.

“Well, you’d be wrong. There’s been no change as of yet, he’s still awake and cheery as ever, but no more word on a prosthetic or if he’s even coming back. He’ll probably call once he’s gotten used to things a bit more. I actually called you here because I wanted to talk to you about a strategist for your team.” Hange says, clasping her hands and resting her elbows on her desk.

“But I already have a strategist.” Levi says confused, before Hange raises an amused brow and he remembers, “Well, I did have a strategist, but I imagine you’ll be far too busy now.”

“You know I’d do it if I could Levi, but between leading my own team and acting as strategist for yours I was already stretched, but now it’s pretty much impossible.”

“I know you would, and you were already doing far too much as it was anyway. This is why Eyebrows named you his successor and not one of the other squad leaders. But a new strategist? We don’t have anybody else with that skill and I don’t have the time to get one trained up. Any anyway, nobody is as good as you, you could just look at the site plans and resource and be able to provide a strategy without the need to even step into the field with us.”

Hange grins broadly, “Well luckily for you, munchkin, there’s no need to train somebody new. You see, I went to a Highschool in Shiganshina about a year ago to do a presentation on careers within the military and was introduced to this kid, and honestly Levi, he’s one of the brightest I’ve had the pleasure of speaking to. His teacher told me all about him, we go way back so he introduced me to the him at the end of his class schedule. The kid was looking to go into politics or whatever, but apparently he has a knack for strategy and planning, so I set him a couple of tests rated easy to hard…”

“Is this story actually going anywhere, Four Eyes? I’d rather not die of old age.” Levi remarks, looking positively bored as he sips his brown mulch.

“I’m getting to it! But yeah, he passed all of my tests with an at least 90% pass rate! He was able to predict the outcome of all the scenarios I gave him to almost perfection. Even I could only do that after months of training, and for most it takes years to become that accurate. He’s an absolute natural. So, I kind of took him under my wing and have been mentoring him ever since, mainly online but I have seen him a few times since. And the last I spoke to him, he’d turned 18 and decided to join the military.”

“Okay, so this kid must be like what? 19 at most?” Levi asks.

“He’s turning 19 in a few months, and he’s still in basic training.” Hange confirms with a nod.

“So, he’s 18. How exactly is that gonna help me right now Hange? This kid will need to go through his full training and move up the ranks before he could even be considered…. wait, that’s why you wanted to speak to me alone right? You want to pull him out of training and put him on my team, don’t you? That’s your plan, isn’t it? Tell me I’m wrong.” Levi demands angrily and Hange at least has the good grace to look a little uncomfortable.

“It’s like you said Levi, it would take years to train up an even half way decent strategist, especially for an elite squad like yours. You need the best of the best, and Armin is the best! I can guarantee you that.”

“So, Armin is this kid’s name then? It’s still fucking insane Hange! Do you even realise the danger you’d be putting him in by placing him in my team? My squad have experience that this kid couldn’t even imagine, they’re trained killers, they’ve seen things that would turn his stomach at the sheer mention of it, they’re willing to die for each other for fuck sake! And you want to put an 18-year-old, who hasn’t even completed his basic training, in the midst of all that and expect me to feel good about it?! That’s crazy, even for you Four Eyes.”

“He could train with your guys Levi! They’re just waiting around the barracks and doing mundane tasks until they’re called up for the next mission, this would give them something to do, and Armin would get far more useful experience with them than he would anywhere else and you know it!” Hange argues, “And believe me, you’re going to need a strategist and soon. We’ve found a suspected cell in the middle east linked directly with Underground headquarters. It’s remote, and it’s hidden, and it’s everything those Underground bastards need to keep a low profile. If we manage to take them down, then we may even take down the whole network. The world could be free of them Levi, could you imagine it?”

“Then why can’t we just move in now? You seem to know enough about it, we can plan it with you and have it done faster than they can even suspect?” Levi asks, almost leaning over Hange’s desk in barely concealed excitement and adrenaline.

“Because one of the other teams are over there right now and came across it by sheer chance. It looks like they have hostages, women and children, they’re using for human trafficking purposes. It’s believed the husbands and fathers have been taken forcefully as Underground soldiers. If we send that team in now, innocents will definitely die and the cell will just move elsewhere, and we’ll likely never find them again. And we have no way of knowing if they’ve seen us snooping around already, they may be ready for an attack if we were to send you in right now, then we’d be back to square one and down our best men.”

“So what? We let them continue what they’re doing, and we just sit here and do nothing? On the basis of what? That those clumsy assholes on Ness’s team aren’t sure if they’ve compromised the whole thing? That’s bullshit Hange, and you know it! Every second we wait could be another innocent life lost or wrecked beyond repair!”

“I know Levi, but this has to be a waiting game, and you’ll need a strategist in the field with you when it does happen. In the meantime, we fly over there and get settled, Armin would come too, and he can get acquainted with you all. There’ll be enough time between arrival and the first time we send you out for him to get a taste of who you are and what you do. Believe me, he knows exactly what he’s getting himself into, and he’s more than ready and willing to learn.”

Levi lets this information sink in for a moment, could it really be possible for them to eliminate the Underground? Is it worth bringing in an inexperienced kid purely based on an idea alone? Not only would they be breaking protocol, but their morals would be brought into question also if they were ever found out.

“When does he join my team?” Levi asks suddenly, “And don’t give me that look, I know you’re only ‘asking’ as a courtesy and the kid’s coming whether I like it or not.”

“He flies out in a week, same as us, you’ll meet when you get over there. I know you don’t think this is a good idea, but right now I don’t see that we have much choice Levi.” Hange says, and Levi thinks she looks incredibly tired. He’s been used to her running around on little sleep, but this is different, as if the fatigue has seeped in through her skin and reached all the way to her bones. He decides to cut her a little slack.

“For the record, I don’t think this is a bad idea. I think it’s a horrible idea. I just hope that I’m wrong.” Levi sighs, drinking the rest of his disgusting coffee and moving to stand.

“Well, all I can say is let us all just hope and pray that you’re wrong in this. But Armin is fantastic, and I have full faith in your team.” Hange says with a salute as she stands, unofficially dismissing Levi from her office.

“Tch, at least one of us has.” Levi mutters under his breath as he turns to leave.

+++

If there is one thing that Levi is certain of when they arrive at their destination a week later, it’s that he HATES unnecessarily hot weather.

Hange had been rather elusive about the exact whereabouts of their location, since they’d travelled thousands of miles to a remote hangar in Belarus, only to be flown to a secret base by private military plane several hours later.

It’s not a foreign concept to Levi, not knowing exactly where he is, obviously the less people that know, the more successful the operation is likely to be. In theory at least, and technically Levi’s team aren’t supposed to exist anyway, so when Hange refuses to let him in on the information, he doesn’t argue the point any further. He just knows that wherever he is, it’s freaking hot.

The sun is high in the sky and scorching, beating down on the snowy white skin of his arms and face, leaving angry splotches of red in it’s wake. He’s always burned in the sun, secretly envious of those that could go home on leave with a magnificent tan rather than his severely sore sunburn. The pleasant summer breeze he’d become accustomed to back home is practically non-existent here, instead air is thick, clammy and makes it difficult to catch his breath without feeling weighed down by the heaviness of the horrendous heat. His clothes are thin and standard issue, but already uncomfortably sticking to his body with the sopping sweat on his skin. He feels disgusting and in desperate need of a cold, refreshing shower, but he doubts that even ten thorough washes would take the stink away to an acceptable level.

Levi is unpacking his belongings in his private quarters when he receives the message to come to down to the mess hall so he can have dinner and meet the newest member of his team. With an audible sigh, he sprays a little deodorant to help with the consistent tap of perspiration he can feel coming from his armpits and switches on his busted-up air conditioner which helps the room cool down ever so slightly before making his way down.

The tiny ‘hall’ is bustling with people when he arrives and he can already spot his team huddled together in the far corner table, eating and chatting as they relax after their long trip. Like him, they have no idea where they are, but they also haven’t been fully briefed yet on the reasons why they’re here either. His team are fantastic that way, always act first and ask questions later, putting their full faith and trust in him no matter the situation. They are also the smallest team on site, a mere 5 of them including Levi, while the others have at least 10 or 12 including their own team leader. Levi handpicked each and every one of them from their days fighting on the front lines for the varying degrees of bravery and intellect they’ve shown on the battlefield.

“Levi! Over here!” Hange calls to him, waving wildly and ushering him over. Levi can see a young blond man with chin length hair, around his height and no older than 18 standing next to her, looking like he’s about to shit himself. Must be the new kid, he thinks.

“Commander Hange!” Levi says, saluting and standing to attention due to their abnormally large audience.

“Lance Corporal Levi, I would like to introduce you to your new strategist. This is Private Armin Arlert of the 104th training regiment in Shiganshina.” Hange says, gesturing to the boy next to her, who to his credit salutes back to Levi with a firm, unwavering stance, “I have already filled him in on the specifics of this mission and trust you’ll inform your team with due care.”

“Yes Commander, I am sure Arlert will be able to help me out in that regard.” Levi nods to Armin, and Hange grins in response.

“Fantastic, then I’ll leave Armin in the capable hands of you and your squad, Levi. Both of you get yourselves something to eat and a good night’s sleep for training commencing tomorrow. I’ll brief you both in the morning.” Hange says, saluting to them both and leaving them to themselves.

Levi notices that Armin is still standing rigidly at attention and is tempted to leave him there just to see how long it will take before he breaks, but it’s been a long day and Levi doesn’t have the heart or patience to do that to the kid.

“At ease, soldier.” Levi instructs and Armin relaxes immediately, rubbing his sweaty palms on his pants anxiously “No need to look so green kid, I won’t bite. But I am starving, so we should probably get something to eat before those greedy shits get all the good stuff.” Levi says, tilting his head in direction of some of the members of other squads piling their plates up high like they’ll never be fed again, they’re lucky they don’t have to survive on basic rations like Levi had in his early military days.

“Yes, Lance Corporal, thank you.” Armin says, following Levi as he makes his way towards the food and picks up a tray.

“Call me Levi kid, that lot all do.” Levi insists, pointing towards his team who are now laughing and joking together going by the guys’ shaking shoulders and Petra smacking Oluo’s shoulder in annoyance, “Just remember to call me by rank when the higher ups are around. Hange and the others don’t give a shit, but it’s polite or whatever.”

“Okay…. Levi. But before you sit down, I would just like to say thank you for giving me this fantastic opportunity by letting me join your team! I will do my very best to meet your expectations and live up to the standards of everybody else.” Armin promises earnestly, picking up random things and placing them on his tray without really looking at them.

“Well, I hate to burst your bubble kid, but it wasn’t my choice to have you here. And I’m not going to lie to you, if it were up to me, you’d be back in Shiganshina completing the rest of your training and a million miles away from here. It takes time and experience to be a competent soldier and even longer for me to even begin thinking you worthy of my team. Unfortunately for the both of us, I don’t have a choice and in need of somebody to act as a strategist, and Hange seems to think you are the only option we have for the job. So that means we’ve both drawn the short straw here.” Levi says, biting into an apple with one hand and resting his bowl of stew and bottle of water on his tray in the other.

“Be that as it may, I won’t let you down! But if I could even just ask, is there any advice you could maybe give me on the job? Anything you think that would make you and your team trust me even just a little more? Anything at all?” Armin asks, following Levi as he makes his way to the table to eat. Levi turns around slowly and looks Armin straight in the eye.

“Just try not to get us all killed kid, and then I won’t have to kill you myself.” He deadpans, taking another bite of his apple and walking away.

“O-Okay.” Armin says half-heartedly as Levi moves just out of earshot.

+++

A little while after dinner, Levi calls a meeting in one of the unoccupied areas of the barracks, in order to officially introduce Armin to his team.

Armin had elected to sit alone rather than chance joining the rowdy table after Levi had decided to go and sit with Mike Zacharias, one of the other Team Leaders, so he’s yet to meet them properly.

Levi brings Armin over to stand next to him as Petra, Oluo, Eld and Gunther arrive, looking both tired and confused at being summoned at such an odd hour of the evening, as usually they’d be beginning to retire right about now. Petra gives Armin a small smile as she locks eyes with him, Oluo does his best impression of Levi by standing with his hip cocked and arms folded across his chest, Eld simply sits in one of the unoccupied seats and Gunther yawns loudly as Levi addresses them.

“Alright everyone, I know it’s been a long day and we’re all tired as shit, but before you go to bed, I’d like you all to meet Armin Arlert, he’s here as a strategist and is officially the newest member of our team. I hope you’ll all make him feel welcome, I don’t wanna have to discipline anybody for being a shit for no good fucking reason.” Levi says, slyly looking over at Oluo as the man shifts uncomfortably at the words. Armin greets them all with a soft ‘Hi’ and waves slightly to the small group.

Eld gets up out of his chair without a word and is the first to officially introduce himself to Armin.

“Hey kid, I’m Eld Jinn, it’s good to meet you.” As Eld says this, Gunther takes the opportunity to yawn even louder so that now even Levi looks at him with utter disdain at the action, “And this lazy sack of good for nothing is Gunther Schultz, he was the newbie of the team, but it seems he’s now lost that title. How’s that feel Gunther? You’ve managed to go from the baby that everybody dotes on to officially, completely useless.” Eld jokes, smirking to himself as Armin stares wide-eyed between the two of them.

“Whatever, asshole.” Gunther shoves Eld’s shoulder playfully before shaking Armin’s hand, “What’s up man? As you heard, I’m Gunther, I’m your resident Eagle-Eyed sharp shooter. The best there is, and that’s a fact, don’t let these amateurs tell you otherwise! Eld didn’t mention, but he’s the ‘Heavy’ of our team. Practically flies into battle without a care in the world, once took like 10 bullets and stayed standing just to finish the fight!” Gunther insists with feeling, wrapping an arm around his blond friend. Armin is taken aback before the man with the slightly wrinkled face speaks up.

“Tch, do you have to exaggerate everything? He was grazed by 2 bullets, not 10, and then ran around for a little while until he passed out from blood loss. If anybody should be considered the ‘Heavy’ around here, it’s me. The name’s Oluo Bossard, and you’re looking at the guy with the biggest kill list and sharpest tongue in the military.” The man says, looking down at Armin smugly until the ginger woman next to him snorts.

“Ha! You’re such a liar, Lance Corporal Levi has the biggest kill list, you just have the biggest ego. And you stutter all over your words all the time, you’re just showing off for the new guy. Sharpest tongue….” The woman giggles and shakes her head in amusement.

“Well Petra, you certainly weren’t complaining about my tongue that night we spent holed up together in Russia….” Oluo says, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

“It was a long, tiring mission, clearly I was delirious.” Petra deadpans.

“Delirious with pleasure.” Oluo retorts.

“I hope you bite your tongue off and die.” Petra says finally, shoving Oluo aside and smiling warmly at Armin, who looks as if he doesn’t know what to say, do, or remember who he is at this point in time.

“It’s nice to meet you Armin, I’m Petra Ral. I hope we can work well together going forward.” Petra says, shaking Armin’s hand firmly and purposely ignores the other guys, who are now making faces and imitating her behind her back.

“Well that was certainly an event, you morons couldn’t even be serious for just a second to show the kid we are a highly skilled, well-functioning squad that’s a step above all the rest? None of that ring any bells?” Levi asks, rolling his eyes and scowling at the four of them, “Tomorrow, you’re all on cleaning duty, no ifs, but or ands.”

“But sir, that’s not fair! I took the meeting seriously I swear!” Petra whines, her long, strawberry blonde, French braids on either side of her head that reach far down past her waist make her look like a scolded child, and Levi is in a good mind to give her a time-out.

“You introduced yourself without making yourself look a testosterone filled douchebag, congratulations. But did any of you actually take the initiative to ask any questions about Armin? Does anybody here actually remember his last name?” Levi asks, and the team have the good sense to look ashamed of their behaviour, “This is not what I want to see from my best soldiers, so tomorrow after cleaning, you will all take the time to get to know Arlert, show him the ropes, and get a thorough understanding of exactly what he’s here to do.”

“But Lance Corporal, with all due respect, none of us here actually have any idea on what WE’RE here to do.” Oluo remarks, and the others begin to nod in agreement. Armin shifts uncomfortably as Levi motions for them all to take a seat.

“Which is also partly why I’ve called you here. Now, I don’t want anybody getting too excited and this information doesn’t leave this room, the only other team that’s aware of what’s going on are Ness’s guys, and that’s only because they were the ones who found it in the first place. But Commander Hange believes we’ve found a terrorist cell here belonging to the Underground.” Levi confirms.

“THE UNDERGROUND!” Gunther bellows and starts to stand up quickly.

“Shhh!” Petra says, smacking him so he sits back down, to which he responds with a “Sorry….”

“As I was saying,” Levi begins, glaring at Gunther before turning his attention to the others “Ness’s team came across it randomly somewhere near here, close enough so we can keep tabs on any changes but far enough away that they shouldn’t get too suspicious of us poking our heads in. Now, obviously as the cell was found by a separate team, we need to allow them time to do their own investigations before we can take over as per protocol….”

“But that’s bullshit! We’ve been tracking the Underground forever, this is our bust!” Oluo interjects angrily.

“Did I say I disagree?” Levi asks, rolling his eyes, “I’m well aware and I’m as pissed off about it as the rest of you, but here’s the thing, this also gives us an advantage.”

“In what way Lance Corporal?” Eld questions confused.

“Well, if we’d been forced to move in on this one without a proper strategy in place, we’d be going in completely blind. But now that we have Armin, we can prepare ourselves properly, take them by surprise. And if we plan this right, if Armin plans this right, we might even find a way to take down the whole of the Underground, in one complete swoop. Imagine it everyone, living in a world without constant fear of terrorist acts, knowing that the crime in your city will go down, drug trafficking, human trafficking, they’ll no longer be able to get prostitutes and their pimps into the country…. A world like that, it’s something worth fighting for, isn’t it?”

“It is Lance Corporal, but do you really think we can do it?” Petra asks, “Do you really think the five of us could do that all by ourselves?”

“The five of us? No” Levi says, and puts his hand on Armin’s slim shoulder, “The six of us? I think we’ve got a pretty good fucking chance. But I’m going to need you all to put a little extra work in before we move out in the next few weeks. Arlert has been working closely with Hange over the course of his last year and he’s getting prepped tomorrow before he starts working closely with Ness’s team in order to make us a plan and complete our strategy for attack and defence. He has a brilliant mind, from what I’ve been told, but we’re an elite team and we’ve trained our bodies to be the best that they can be, Arlert hasn’t yet had that opportunity.”

“Leave it to us Lance Corporal, we’ll whip him into good shape.” Oluo insists passionately and Armin gulps visibly.

“Don’t worry Armin, once we’re done with you, your body will be a killing machine!” Gunther amends, and nobody argues, even Petra is smiling broadly at the suggestion.

“That’s what I like to hear, now all of you get to bed, we have a long day ahead of us tomorrow, and who knows what the next couple of weeks will bring? Get some sleep, and I don’t want to hear about any of you goofing off, sneaking out or hooking up when your head needs to be in the game.” Levi says pointedly at Petra and Oluo, who blush and grin respectively at the instruction, “Dismissed!”

+++

As Levi had expected, the next few weeks go by in a busy blur. So much so, that he can barely keep up with the days as they go by and he ends up forgetting what he even did the day prior.

Erwin has been in touch several times since Levi left Trost and has since informed him of his upcoming official retirement as Commander, leaving the title to Hange if she wishes to keep it. Erwin believes the loss of his right arm to be the career ending in that field, but looks forward to a bigger and brighter future, expressing his interest to start a company providing the biggest and best security service for A list and high-end clientele for as long as they require or desire. It’s a step down excitement wise, but Levi thinks that it oddly suits his best friend.

Hange has been keeping him busy with constant updates on the suspected cell that the other team have been investigating, it’s now been confirmed that the large estate is in fact a halfway house where women and young children are being kept until they can be shipped away and auctioned off to the highest buyer. There had been hell to pay when it was decided that Levi and his team would only begin their raid on the morning that next set of girls would be sent for purchase. It was agreed that the truck carrying the ‘cartel’ would be allowed to leave and Levi’s team would bust in unexpected while Mike’s team follow and retrieve the truck.

The next shipping date is due for tomorrow, according to the translator who’d listened in to the conversations heard through bugs that had been expertly placed and hidden from plain sight. Only 24 hours until Levi and his squad embark on their most challenging mission yet, bringing down the Underground.

Armin has been working tirelessly on a plan for them all to infiltrate the massive halfway house using stolen blueprints and set up what he calls the ‘buddy’ system. The system consists of each member of the team pairing up with another who has contrasting skills to allow for a diverse mini-team attacking the three entrances on different sides of the house, while defending on opposites sides of the area. The buddies will be Eld and Gunther, Oluo and Petra, and Armin will be with Levi. An incredibly simple, but very effective method of ensuring eyes on all sides, no matter where they may end up.

In addition to his strategy plans and research, Armin has been spending an incredible amount of time training alongside his comrades. Despite what Levi had said about them all taking responsibility to conduct Armin’s training, he hadn’t actually expected them all to follow through with it at all. However, to his surprise, he more often than not finds the boy practicing combat skills and working out with all four of them, each taking turns explain something in great depth or giving him pointers on how to fix his follow through. Levi watches as the kid listens intently to every single one of them, soaking up all of the information and improving almost instantly.

Levi can very clearly see the muscle mass that Arlert has gained, and it’s none too shabby. Not as much as Levi would have hoped for of course, but realistically very impressive for the short time of 3 and a half weeks he’s kept at it. Armin, he notices, has also become far more relaxed around the rest of their team, laughing and play fighting with them as they eat dinner or mess around before it’s time to call it a night. He’s come through in leaps and bounds, and he looks like he belongs with them, like he is one of them.

Levi takes the time to just watch them for a second in the social area before he calls them over for a briefing. Gunther is trying to master the art of making and throwing paper airplanes at Oluo’s head, it’s not going too well, so Levi doesn’t feel the need to confiscate them yet. Eld is on one of the comfier chairs of the room, looking through old photos of himself and his wife together, he smiles lovingly as he flicks through them. Oluo and Petra are, as usual, bickering like an old married couple in the corner of the room again and he’s about to step in and break it up before he notices Oluo bringing up his hand to stroke Petra’s cheek and play with the long strands of her hair, as she melts into his touch, looking around to make sure no one is watching them before kissing him softly on the lips, making him blush. He averts his gaze to allow them a little privacy (even though he should probably be reporting their relationship) and sees Armin, furiously scribbling notes and tossing bits of paper away, which explains where Gunther is getting all of his paper from.

“Everybody, if I could have your attention please!” Levi raises his voice, and the others scurry into position, standing at attention with their fists over their hearts, a sign of the trust and faith they have in their leader, oddly poignant considering what they’ll be walking into come tomorrow morning.

“I would like to take this opportunity to commend how brave you’ve all been, given the situation at hand, and I can honestly say I am honoured to be walking into battle with you five by my side. There is nobody else on this world I would rather take down the Underground with, and if you ever tell anybody I said that, I will deny it to hell and back.” Levi jokes and the others laugh genuinely, surprised by his sudden change of mood from the grumpy, surly superior they’d grown accustomed to.

“Now, I don’t want to hear another word out of you all tonight. Go to bed, get some sleep and I’ll see you all tomorrow morning. You know the plan, stick to it, do as I say….and for God’s sake, stay safe, all of you.” Levi says finally, and the others reply with a “Yes, Lance Corporal!” before leaving the room to retire for the night, all except Armin.

“Didn’t you hear what I said Arlert?” Levi asks, “You need your strength for tomorrow, you can read another night.”

“I know Lance Corporal, but that’s not why I’m still here. I know that you said you wanted to her nothing more from us tonight…. but I have to ask, do you really believe we can do this? My plan, it’s not too simple is it? I don’t know what it is you were expecting….” Armin trails off.

“I wasn’t expecting anything, truthfully. I was fully expecting you’d quit and head on home after the first couple of days if I’m honest. But you didn’t, you stuck with us, followed through and here we are now, ready to take on the biggest mission of our lives. And to answer your question, no I don’t think your idea is too simple, overcomplicating things can lead to a messy outcome and I want none of my team’s blood on my hands. Simple plans and easy strategies were the reason Hange was such a good strategist for my team, you’re a lot like her in the way you think.” Levi insists gently, and Armin looks at his superior with wide, curious, ocean blue eyes.

“But what if I fail? What if I am like the Commander, but unlike her, I can’t pull off the simple plans and it goes horribly wrong? What then?” Armin asks, panicking and beginning to quiver slightly at the shoulders. Levi sighs.

“Look kid, I’m not great with providing comfort, never have been. But you’ve got to understand, I’m not saying all of this because I think you’re a liability or secretly believe you will hinder my team, because you know I’d tell you outright. You have some of the best gut feelings and instincts I’ve ever come across in my whole life, the amount of times you’ve predicted when the other team would come back and give us the answer you suspected was honestly frightening, it reminds me so much of Hange actually. Tomorrow, you just need to hold your nerve and trust your instincts, because your gut doesn’t lie to you and I think you’re smart enough to know that. Just make the choices you think you’ll regret the least, and you won’t go wrong.” Levi says, placing a friendly hand on Armin’s shoulder and the boy nods up at him determined.

“I will, thank you Lance Corporal! I promised I wouldn’t let you down and I intend to follow that promise through to the end!” Armin says, turning away and picking up his notes, he gives Levi a final salute before finally dashing out of the room and towards the sleeping quarters.

Levi shakes his head as he watches the boy leave, thinking that for once, he honestly has faith that they can actually pull this off in a few hours.

+++

The sun is beating down once again, hot and unforgiving against the skin of Levi’s lower face, compromising his vision a little more than he’d like. At least his protective eye-wear stops him from burning too much, and the helmet prevents sweat from running from his hair into his face.

Armin stands with him back to back as they scan the surroundings of the front of the house before proceeding any further. Oluo and Petra have taken responsibility of the side entrance, while Eld and Gunther have the back, both pairs have confirmed their coast is clear while Levi awaits word from Hange on how Mike’s team have done on their chase for the truck full of hostages.

“Any word Hange? The place looks quiet enough, we could move in.” Levi says quietly into his communicator.

“Not yet Levi, we need Mike to check in before you go into the house. You don’t know what you could be walking into, just stay put.” Hange instructs, voice crackling a little due to the signal in the remote area.

The house is quiet, as Levi had said, but a little too quiet for Armin’s liking. He understands that a bunch of the hostages have been transferred away along with a number of the foot soldiers that have been seen by Ness’s team, so it’s bound to be a little less rowdy. But it’s completely silent here, and his gut is telling him that silence in this scenario isn’t a good thing.

“Alright, Arlert, we’re not infiltrating yet but I’m gonna get everyone to move in a little closer now, we need to be ready for the order, got that?” Levi asks, voice barely a hushed whisper as he begins to move.

“Lance Corporal, I’m not sure that’s such a good idea, maybe we should wait for Commander Hange’s order before we do anything!” Armin advises, hands trembling slightly on the rifle that still feels a little too heavy for him to carry comfortably.

“Don’t be ridiculous Arlert, we’re fine, there’s nobody here, at least not this far out. I think they’re all far enough inside that we’ll go in unnoticed, they won’t know what’s hit ‘em until it’s too late.” Levi insists, “Everybody, move 10 feet closer but do not, I repeat, do not enter the premises as of yet, we’re still waiting for the go ahead.” Levi calls over his communicator with the rest of the team.

“Affirmative!” Eld whispers back.

“Understood Lance Corporal.” Petra answers also.

Just as they receive the answer from the others, and Armin has begrudgingly moved to stick close to Levi, a muffled crackling begins over the communicator, but the signal is too bad to be able to hear anything that Hange is trying to say.

“Stupid fucking thing!” Levi comments quietly, and Armin can’t help but feel it’s gotten even more eerie with silence the closer they’ve moved toward the house. His stomach is doing backflips and he just can’t take it anymore.

“Please Lance Corporal, I think we should get back, I don’t feel good about this. It’s too quiet.” Armin pleads, trying to convince the man to get back to where they were, and out of there completely if he can manage it.

“What the hell are you talking about Arlert?” Levi hisses as his communicator still crackles with Hange’s voice barely audible in the background, he hits it a few times and the muffled noise just gets worse in sound quality.

“Lance Corporal Levi, with the utmost respect, you told me I should trust my instincts when it comes to this mission, and right now I feel like something’s not right. Don’t you hear how quiet it is? This is a halfway house, there’s bound to be noise somewhere, anywhere! But there’s not and we’re standing right where they can see us!” Armin insists, shaking visibly now and rifle rattling off the edge of his helmet as he holds it high, “I think we need to go! Now!” he says, yanking on the cuff of Levi’s sleeve and attempting to pull him back before he shoves the boy off him.

The cracking of the communicator is so loud now that even Levi has to cover it with his hand to muffle the sound.

“Listen to me Arlert, you’re panicking over nothing, that’s not your gut talking right now it’s your nerves. And you need to get a hold of them before you put this whole operation in Jeopardy! I swear to God, if you cause any of my men get hurt with your bullshit, I’ll have you court martialled, is that clear?!” Levi scowls as he spits the words out and suddenly the communicator is coming through loud and clear with Hange’s voice, laced with urgency and fear.

“LEVI! THE TRUCK WAS FILLED WITH WOMEN AND CHILDREN BUT THE CAPTORS WERE THE HUSBANDS, THEY WERE ALL JUST HOSTAGES TRYING TO MAKE AN ESCAPE! THEY LET THEM GO TO TRICK US, IT’S A TRAP! ALL OF YOU GET OF THERE NOW!!”

“Shit!” Levi curses savagely before shouting to the rest of his team, “EVERYONE FALL BACK! FALL BACK!”

The last thing Levi hears before his world goes dark is a high-pitched yelp behind him, and the sound of Hange’s panic stricken voice coming through the communicator before it cuts out abruptly.

“Levi! Lev-“

Chapter Text

Chapter 20

When Levi eventually rouses from his unconscious state, he finds himself with incredibly blurred vision, head throbbing painfully, and his hands cable tied behind his back. He feels a cold hardness against his back, a massive contrast to the scorching sun that had been beating off his skin in what seems like moments ago. Now, the air is just as stuffy but he seems to be inside a room, a bare room with what feels like concrete floors, as if any flooring that had been there prior has just been ripped from the ground.

“Lance Corp…. oral……Corp…. La-….” Levi can hear someone calling to him, it’s a voice he recognises but it’s muffled, and he wants to tell whoever it is to speak clearer and stop mumbling, and what’s that strange ringing sound?

“Le…. Vi…. you hear us?” A new voice begins, a familiar voice, definitely belonging to a female, but he can’t place it. What the hell is that ringing noise? And why is everybody mumbling so much? He just wants to sleep. Levi can’t understand it, he knows he’s missing something rather important, but he can’t remember what it is.

Then it hits him. He and his squad had been scouting the estate believed to be headquarters for the Underground. Armin had tried to warm him that there was something not right about the scene, but he had ignored him and then…. Hange! He remembers Hange telling him…. about a trap. Then everything went dark.

The realisation makes Levi shoot up before he remembers the pain in his head and would have doubled over if it hadn’t been for the angle in which his hands are bound. This is bad, he needs to find out where he is and fast. He blinks several times, trying to clear the blurriness from his vision and it takes a few attempts before he sees the outline of a figure leaning, or at least trying to lean over him.

“Lance Corporal! Can you hear us?” One of the voices speaks more clearly, and Levi realises the ringing had been in his own head. He blinks a few more times and a dishevelled Armin appears before him.

“Arlert? What happened kid? Where the fuck are we? Where is everyone else?” Levi asks, surprised at dry and rough his own voice sounds out loud.

“We’re here, Levi.” Petra pipes up on his right, he can hear that she’s not too far away but he can’t quite manoeuvre his body to face them, “We’re all here, we’re okay but Oluo and Eld took a bit of a beating. You’re definitely in the worst condition right now.”

It wasn’t exactly a comfort for Levi to hear that, but it certainly made him feel a little better knowing everyone is at least in one piece and breathing. He attempts to straighten himself upright, his limbs all seem to be intact, but his head feels like it weighs a tonne. Concussion, no doubt about it, and a swift kick to the ribs if he’s correct, it wouldn’t be the first time in his life.

“Lance Corporal, maybe you shouldn’t move just yet, you’ve been out for a couple hours. You need to try taking it slow.” Armin implores, concern written all over his face, “There could be some internal damage, and you’re most likely concussed.”

“I think I know what I’m doing Arlert, it’s not the first time I’ve been knocked out cold on my ass.” Levi insists, noticing that Armin’s hands are also behind his back and shifting to look over to the rest of his comrades. There is a wall adjacent to where he is propped up and Oluo, Eld and Gunther are laying against it, the former two breathing a little heavily, clearly in a bit of pain. Petra is sitting in the corner between Levi and the others, knees pulled to her chest.

Her legs are bare, in fact all of their legs are bare, shoulders too, and Levi looks down to find his own clothes have also been stripped from him at some point. He wears nothing but his vest top, olive green and soaking with numerous bodily fluids, and his black underwear and socks.

Armin is on his left, kneeling over him and scrutinising his face and body for any signs of hidden injury. Levi notices that while the boy looks a little bit rattled, out of all of them he’s definitely the least battered, as if their captors had taken extra care when obtaining him. Speaking of which….

“What the hell happened? The last thing I can remember was yelling for you all to retreat and I could hear Hange too…. but after that it’s all a bit fuzzy. I think I can remember being in some sort of vehicle? It might have been a dream.” Levi says, looking between Armin and Petra for answers.

Armin nods, “They came up behind us, grabbed me and hit you on the back of the head, I couldn’t tell what with, but it must have been heavy to knock you out for so long. I tried to free myself, but they pinned me down and tied my hands, stuck a bag over my head too. Thought they were going to shoot me before I could feel us moving.”

“It was a truck.” Petra confirms, “I didn’t get bagged, they stuck a gag on me instead. Oluo was beaten in front of me until he complied, I think they wanted to me to watch. Their faces were on show but I couldn’t get a good look at them Levi, I’m sorry.”

“Don’t worry, I think we’ll be getting a visit from them soon enough anyway.” Levi says darkly.

“What makes you say that?” Gunther asks, speaking up for the first time since Levi has woken up.

“Because they didn’t cover their faces, what does that tell you?” Levi questions, looking at Gunther directly in the eye before the younger man lowers his head and Petra shivers next to him.

“Well shit.” Oluo remarks from where he is lying, still not moving a muscle.

“What? What does that mean? Lance Corporal?” Armin asks fearfully, looking to Levi for answers.

“Well, in my experience….” Levi begins, shifting to face Armin with a resigned expression, “It means that they don’t plan on us making it out of this alive.”

+++

After a few hours, Levi’s head begins to clear a little more and he starts assessing their surroundings in a bit more depth. The room is small, probably no larger than a child’s bedroom, in fact it most likely is a stripped bedroom of one of the children the captors have abducted and sold in the past. The windows are boarded, the walls are stained and the cracks in the door show it to be bolted from the outside. All in all, Levi concludes pretty quickly, that they are located in an abandoned family home.

“It’s a house, this is a house! We’re in somebody’s home.” Levi exclaims, looking towards the others for confirmation.

“Yeah, I guessed that not long after we arrived.” Armin says “Not that it helps much, there is no way to tell where we even are. Even if we could get in contact with somebody, what would we even tell them?”

“We were in the truck for around 30 minutes give or take, and travelling at around 70 miles per hour, that gives them about a 40-mile radius in every direction. Fuck knows how anybody will ever find us in that, face it guys, we’re done for.” Eld complains, lightly banging the back of his head off the wall he’s resting against.

“You can’t think like that Eld!” Petra yelps, “What would Nifa think if she heard you talking like that?”

Eld says nothing more, simply shuts his eyes and stops banging his head. Levi is about to give him some reassurance when the door swings open and two Caucasian men make their way inside.

“Well well now, look who’s finally decided to join the land of the living…. For now.” The taller of the two remarks, staring straight at Levi and brandishing a knife in his hands. The other man simply huffs and takes the time to walk around the room, assessing each and every one of them closely. Levi knows his jaw is almost to the floor, for no other reason than the accent that the first man spoke with.

“You’re…. you’re one of ours….” Levi says in disbelief, looking back at the man who is still staring at him, “You’re not from here…. you and I, all of us, we’re the same.”

At this, the first man stalks towards Levi and strikes him sharply across the face so hard that he ends up smacking his head on the radiator he’s pressed against.

“We. Are. Not. The. Same.” The man seethes, spitting on Levi’s face and rubbing his saliva into his skin. Levi recoils in disgust and the man chuckles in response.

“We are the Underground.” The other man speaks up, “We are the Devil, risen up from the depths of hell and we’ve been created to destroy the world.”

“Cities will be burned to the ground, men will succumb to their most depraved desires, teenagers will be destroyed from the inside out with the high they craved so hard in the first place. The entire planet will be cleansed and only the worthy will be allowed to stand in it’s wake. We are here, to create our own Paradise.” The first man finishes, holding out his arms, palms facing upwards and the knife glinting menacingly.

Levi stares between the two men accusingly, “But why? What do you possibly have to gain from that? You want to destroy the world? What the fuck has the world ever done to you?!”

“AND WHAT THE FUCK HAS THE WORLD EVER DONE FOR US?! HUH?!! We’re scum, born into squalor and the world turned it’s back on us, left us to die in a rotting grave!” The first man screams, wrapping a hand around Levi’s neck and squeezing hard, but not enough to cut off air supply completely.

“But then, we were found by the saviours, by the Underground. They re-baptised us, gave us new names and a place in the cleansed world. We have a home, a family, with over a thousand brothers and sisters. And we won’t let you pigs take that away from us….”

“Wait, a THOUSAND brothers and sisters?!” Armin blurts loudly, and it’s all Levi can do not to kick him with his bound legs. The first man from before smirks a little before lifting his hand to stroke Armin’s cheek. Levi waits for the smack, but it never comes.

“That’s right dollface, a thousand brothers and sisters, scattered across the world. The family becomes nothing but bigger and stronger every single day, and we won’t ever stop until this world is ours.” The man says, almost lovingly as he caresses Armin’s skin, the boy frozen to the spot at the action.

“Now now Jeremiah, you can play with the toys later, we need answers first. Namely, what the fuck you and your piss poor excuse of an Army have been doing snooping around our territory these last few weeks? Don’t think we haven’t noticed, you weren’t exactly subtle.”

“Actually Malachi, these faces are brand new. They aren’t the same ones who’ve been running around, I would’ve remembered.” Jeremiah insists, giving Armin another look, absent-mindedly caressing the knife he’s been carrying since entering the room.

“Well if that’s the case, you won’t mind telling me exactly who you are then will you?” Malachi questions darkly.

“My name is Lance Corporal Levi Ackerman, and this is my squad. We were sent here to survey and raid your estate.” Levi says honestly, the pain in his head beginning to come back tenfold “The plan was to free any hostages you had cooped up there and take down the Underground once and for all.”

Jeremiah and Malachi let this information sink in for all of five seconds before they are both buckled over in laughter. Levi uses the time to assess the pair thoroughly, they don’t look like your standard low life thugs, not by a long shot. In fact, if we were to pass them by in a standard public setting, he’d think they were simply a pair of young, obnoxious gym buffs, the type who’d snicker at his height back home before he wiped the floor with them. They aren’t unattractive either, nor are they scuffed up and scarred in a way he’s been used to when it comes to common criminals. Malachi has jet black hair, cut nicely, pale blue eyes and cheekbones that could cut glass while Jeremiah has sand coloured waves tied back in a low ponytail and a light smattering of stubble covering his handsome features.

“Oh, my sides are killing me!” Jeremiah complains through a bought of cackling laughter, the knife haphazardly swinging as he does so.

“Okay, that’s enough of that now.” Malachi insists, reigning in his own laughter, “But seriously Boss man, you’re hilarious. You honestly thought that you could take down the whole underground? All of us? I almost don’t want to have to break it to you.”

“We’re foot soldiers idiots!” Jeremiah yells loudly, “You haven’t even scratched the surface of the Underground! We do the dirty work because that’s what we’re good at, for all intents and purposes, we’re at the bottom of the food chain here. Well, apart from you that is….”

The information hits Levi like a freight train, not only has he managed to get his team captured by a pair of Underground terrorists with a god complex and absolutely no remorse for their actions, it’s all been for nothing. Even if Levi and his squad are found eventually, the Underground will still be at large, losing nothing but disposable soldiers. That’s if they’re even found alive….

“So now that’s out of the way, let’s have a look at you all.” Jeremiah says as he looks over them all with sadistic curiosity. He moves towards Petra and tugs at one of her braids, “Oh look at you, so pretty, I could have a lot of fun with you sweetheart.”

“You stay away from her, you filthy animal!” Oluo yells at Jeremiah, who simply lifts an eyebrow in amusement. He lets go of Petra’s hair and approaches Oluo. Jeremiah kicks him hard in the stomach and stomps on his lower leg until Oluo is shrieking.

“Come on now Jeremiah, that’s enough. Don’t ruin all the fun at once, the rest of the guys aren’t even here yet. And besides, it’s not like Pippi Longstocking is even your type anyway….” Malachi says, arms crossed and looking bored.

“Hmph, guess you’re right. Still think we should teach this jackass a lesson on holding his tongue….” Jeremiah comments darkly, smirking at Oluo, who’s wincing and moaning in discomfort.

“Plenty of time for that, for now we do deserve to have a little fun don’t you think? And it looks like the goddesses were kind to us when they gave us their gifts….” Malachi says, looking straight at Levi, who flinches and unconsciously begins to move away in response to the advance.

“Ahh I see, you like the Boss man? Well you can have him, I have my eye on little blondie over there….” Jeremiah says while licking his lips and looking Armin up and down. Armin shifts so he leans a little more into Levi and away from the men looming over them.
“Ya know Jerry I have an idea, don’t you think they’d look pretty amazing together? His muscles pressed against his little twink body…. God, I wanna see that so badly….” Malachi remarks, practically drooling at the sight of Armin pressing further into Levi at their leering stares. Levi simply stares Malachi down, daring him to try something.

“Oh Mal, that would be just pornographic…. You always have the best ideas.” Jeremiah says, grabbing Malachi by the neck and pulling him into a hard, passionate kiss, rough and almost violent as the pair fight for dominance. The others in the room look away in a mixture of embarrassment to outright disgust at the display.

“We better get started before David and Zecariah get back, they always try and steal all the fun away, hurry up and strip them down!” Jeremiah practically moans as he pulls away from Malachi, who gropes him one last time before turning his attention to Levi, grabbing the knife from Jeremiah’s hands to cut the cable ties binding his ankles.

“No!” Levi all but screeches as he kicks and flails his now free legs, “Get the fuck away from me you sick bastards! Don’t you fucking dare touch me!”.

“Come on Boss man, don’t be like that, why don’t you be a sweetheart and give me a little kiss?” Malachi says, hovering over Levi and trying to pull his lips towards his own. Just as he manages to get them to touch, Levi snarls and bites down hard enough to break the skin and draw blood. Levi is aware of the four pairs of eyes staring to his right, wide and unsure on what to do as they watch on helplessly

“Oh, would you look at this Jerry? We got ourselves a wild one! We’re gonna have so much fun with you. But I admire your fire, that tenacity you have, so I’m gonna give you a little reward first. Your little blond friend here, isn’t he just divine?” Malachi purrs as he gestures towards Armin, who is trying and failing to wrestle himself out of Jeremiah’s grasp as the bigger man begins stripping off the boy’s vest top, “Bet you’ve wanted to fuck the life out of him for a long time now, I certainly would if I were in your position. In fact, I’ll bet you already have…. probably make him call you Lance Corporal as he chokes on your cock….”

“You are nothing but a pair of sick sons of bitches!” Levi hisses, as Malachi cackles evilly.

“Well you’d be right about that, my mom for one was a dumb whore, what about yours Jerry?” Jeremiah nods in response as he strokes Armin’s now bare chest, they boy still wriggling and fighting in his hold, “Pair of worthless sluts they were, our moms, put us off women for life. That’s why we’re here y’know? No chance of us tarnishing the merchandise before they’re sold and used by low life scumbags willing to pay enough for them. And this is our reward for all our hard work, for the long hours in the boiling sun, listening to nothing but wailing children and weeping women…. Now, we get to have sex with beautiful men like you….it almost makes it all worth it.” Malachi says as he strokes Levi’s bleeding face.

“I will NEVER touch him like that, I’m not going to give you the satisfaction. You can do whatever the hell you want with me, but I will not lay a hand on that boy. You’ll have to cut them from my wrists before even a finger of mine touches him somewhere he doesn’t want it.” Levi vows, seething and glaring at Malachi as intimidatingly as he can considering the pain he’s still in. Malachi punches him, hard, and yanks his head back at a harsh angle.

“I’m sure that can be arranged….”

“You don’t want him!” A voice yells from Levi’s left, and he’s surprised to see that Armin is the one that’s spoken up, “His dick doesn’t work. You can try and try all you want but he’ll never get hard for you. I don’t think he’s ever had a boner in his life. He propositioned me once, and I willingly stuck my ass out for him, begged him to take my virginity…. But he still couldn’t do it, and it kills him because he’s not a real man.”

“Arlert…. what are you doing?” Levi whispers, unsure of where Armin is going with this. Jeremiah and Malachi, however, hang off Armin’s every word, enraptured.

“It frustrates him so much that he acts out like a little slut. If he can’t get it up, he goes out and bends over for any guy he can find. He’s done it so much that he’s riddled with STDs, his ass is so dirty that he probably won’t live much longer…. You don’t need him, he’d barely feel you in there anyway.” Armin says finally, glancing meaningfully at Levi before Malachi drops the latter against the radiator he’d been leaning on.

And it suddenly it occurs to Levi, what the kid’s plan was…. Armin was protecting him.

“Well shit, Boss man is a filthy little whore…. such a shame, I’d have loved to pin him down and claim him…. seems like I’m a little late on the uptake. Exactly many guys have you had in that filthy hole then slut? A hundred? More?” Malachi questions as he stands up and stares disgusted down at Levi’s slumped form.

Levi knows he has to play along, and well, if he wants to prevent his first ever sexual experience being a rape, “I…. I don’t know, I lost count. There were so many, I don’t think I could even remember all of their names if you gave me an infinite amount of time.”

“Disgusting, filthy little slut.” Jeremiah spits, lip curled in distaste as he continues clutching on to Armin’s bare skin, “But did you hear that Mal? This one is a little virgin, and Boss man wanted him all to himself…. and he could never have him, such a pity.”

“More for us then it seems…. come on Jerry, let’s show him what he’s missing out on.” Malachi says, unbuckling his pants as Jeremiah pulls Armin to the floor, forcing him on all fours and tugging down his underwear.

Levi can faintly hear a faint growling that sounds like it’s being ripped from a creature in severe agony, and soon finds it’s coming from himself. He wants to lift his heavy head from the ground and gain the strength to tear his ties apart to free himself, but he can barely move and knows that any wrong movements can mean the worst for his team.

He turns away for a split second as Malachi takes his place behind Armin and Jeremiah holds his wrists flat on the floor. Petra has curled herself in against Gunther, sobbing quietly into his shoulder, the latter simply resting his head on hers in resignation at the sight in front of him. Eld doesn’t look away, he sets his jaw and stares straight ahead, Levi can’t tell if he’s truly watching what’s going on in front of him or if he’s simply zoned himself out of the present moment. Oluo is still lying on the floor, but he’s facing the wall now and Levi pretends not to see his shoulders shaking….

Levi turns back to look at the little blond boy being manhandled and groped against his will, strategically placed sideways by their captors to Levi so that he can have the best view in the house. Surprisingly, Armin doesn’t yell out or cry, he just fixes his gaze just past Jeremiah on a section of the wall in front of him, barely moving or breathing.

“Hey Boss man, I think you should settle down now, you don’t wanna miss a second of this….” Jeremiah taunts sadistically as Malachi begins pushing into the little body in front of him.

Levi doesn’t look away for even a millisecond. He can’t look away.

+++

Levi can hear whimpering to his right when he wakes up in the middle of a warm night. A closer listen tells him it’s Petra, they’ve finally brought her back after what sounds like several hours of sheer torture.

They’ve been here for weeks now, maybe a couple months, Levi lost count so long ago now. But no matter how many days and nights go by, their captors never seem to tire of finding new ways to torture and humiliate them. The early ‘games’ included contests on how long it took before one of them pissed themselves, there is no toilet, so they’ve had no choice but to just go where they sit, their underwear is barely there anymore and they’re all beyond embarrassment or shame at this point. The first time they ‘played’, Gunther gave up first and as punishment, was forced to drink from the others as they one by one relieved themselves. Astonishingly, Levi found himself the tiniest bit envious as neither Jeremiah nor Malachi had brought them anything to drink in the stifling heat.

Oluo contracted quite a nasty infection trying to hold his bladder for extended periods of time and the lack of hygiene certainly didn’t help matters. Despite their setting, he had been the most stubborn went it came down to bending to the will of their captors, he wanted to maintain a strong front for Petra and in doing so, became the favourite punching bag of the group. Eld and Gunther still got the random beatings here and there for nothing more than the guys wanting a little entertainment, but Oluo was the one they liked to pick on.

In order to teach Oluo a lesson after he’d said “No” one too many times for their liking, Malachi secured his bound hands to a chain from the ceiling and forced his mouth open while Jeremiah poked around ten long, thin needles straight through his tongue like piercings. The blood was running like a tap, and the sounds he made were excruciating to listen to. To make things worse, once they’d had their fill of the needle torture, they forced themselves into his mouth until their release coated his already abused and bloodied throat. The stench of blood and vomit stung Levi’s eyes as Oluo retched the contents of his empty stomach that night.

Things simply got even worse when David and Zecariah came back to join in on the fun.

Zecariah is the quietest of the group and tends to like watching the torture rather than take part in it. Even when it’s time for them all to take their turns getting sick pleasure from Armin’s unwilling body, he doesn’t physically partake, instead preferring to take photos of him after they’re done, sometimes he’ll record the boy’s sobs when it’s been quite a brutal session. David is the roughest when they violate Armin, taking pleasure from his cries and begs for him to stop rather than from the body he’s wrecking. Levi is convinced it’s not even the sexual aspect he’s interested in, he just wants to break him. He wants to break them all.

David is like the others in the sense of he wants to strip them of their dignity and see them squirm, but unlike Malachi and Jeremiah, he has a more sadistic streak. He is creative when it comes to “punishments” and he likes to victimise Petra in particular. He hacked her long, beautiful hair off with a sharp knife, leaving painful welts and cuts all over her head and scalp. Every few nights or so, he’ll come in without a word and carries her out of the room kicking and screaming. Levi doesn’t know the exact details of what David does to her, but the blood soaking her underwear is a massive giveaway.

Tonight has been one of those nights, and Petra is curled up in her corner with Oluo snuggled next to her for comfort. He must have used his remaining energy to crawl to her side, it’s been nearly a week since they’ve been fed anything at all, so the effort for him to do so must have been monumental.

“It…. h-hurts….” Petra cries quietly against Oluo’s chest.

“I know it does, love.” Oluo says comfortingly, his tongue swollen to almost twice it’s usual size, making it hard to hear exactly what’s being said.

“I-I wish it…. would j-just s-s-stop.” Petra squeaks between sobs and sniffles, squeezing her legs together to try as her core burns and throbs each second.

“It won’t be forever Petra, we’ll get out of this somehow. You and I were meant to be together, we were meant to meet, get married, have children and have an amazing life together. And we will, I promise you.” Oluo reassures her, looking right in her big, bronze eyes.

“And what if we don’t? W-what if we never get out?”

“Then I’ll live the rest of my days knowing I got to meet the most amazing woman in the world and got the privilege to die by her side.”

Petra cries a little more at Oluo’s words before speaking once again, “I love you Oluo.”

“I love you too Petra, more than you know.” Oluo replies, nuzzling as close to her as he can.

Levi doesn’t fall back asleep that night.

+++

Armin’s screams are loud and painful as they resonate within the walls of the small bedroom from the corridor down the hall. Upon suggestion from David, they’ve decided to do something a little different and dragged Armin away from the room and into a new part of the house only Petra seems to be familiar with. The kitchen.

The screeches of agony are too much to try and ignore today, even the usually stoic Eld is trying to cover his ears by covering them with his knees. Whatever they’ve decided to do, it seems to be affecting Petra in a terrible way, she’s simply rocking back and forward chanting “it should be me, it should be me, it should be me” over and over again, not even Oluo’s hushed whispers can calm her down. Gunther can barely move or react to anything around him, it’s been maybe a fortnight since David most definitely broke his ribs, Levi isn’t even sure he’s aware of anything that’s happening around him.

Levi can’t take the piercing screams anymore and concentrates hard, harder than he has on anything he’s ever done before, focusing all of his strength in his wrists to try and pry the cable ties apart. He’s simply been too weak to do it up until now, but the sounds of Armin’s anguish are spurring him on more than he’d even been aware of, his teeth are gritted, and his flesh is being cut by the ties are he forces his wrists apart.

Eventually, his efforts are paid of and the tie snaps in two. He’s under no illusions, brute strength hadn’t been the only factor in breaking it, it was months old and the effort caused it to give way. Levi thinks no more on it and staggers shakily to his feet before reaching the door and pulling it open before hastily rushing closer towards the sounds of Armin.

“Arlert….” He says under his breath, as he aimlessly ambles to the kitchen. Levi knows he should probably come up with a plan of action, but his exhausted mind won’t allow him anymore than ‘find the kid, help the kid.’

When he reaches the doorway of the kitchen, to his horror, he finds that their captors seem to be performing what Levi can only recognise as a “boiling water enema”. No wonder the kid had been practically screeching his lungs out of his body, Levi wants to tear their eyeballs out one by one.

Unfortunately, Levi isn’t as strong as he once was, and ends up stumbling as he attempts to rush towards where the kitchen knives are kept, falling flat on his face and knocking everything over as he does so. The only saving grace in Levi’s mind is at least they seem to have forgotten about torturing Armin for the time being, their rage and pent up anger completely focused on himself now.

“Pick him up!” David orders from where he stands, holding the boiling teapot over Armin’s scourged skin. Levi attempts to pull himself off the floor, glaring at David menacingly as he does so.

“Come and pick me up yourself you fucking, faggot coward!” Levi seethes as he raises himself to his feet.

David simply grins sadistically, angrily throwing the still halfway full kettle across the room at Levi’s head, hitting Jeremiah’s arm on the way. At least Levi had the good sense to duck as Jeremiah yells out in complaint at the attack. David ignores him completely, stalking over to where Levi stands in long strides and punches him square in the jaw before kicking his legs out from underneath him. In any other setting, Levi would have been able to throw him on his ass easily, David fights like a brute, slow and predictable, but his energy is all but depleted and he has nothing more to give.

David picks him up easily, yanking his arm behind his back until Levi is yelling out and walks him over to the still scorching hot stove. Levi knows exactly what’s coming next and he tries to fight it for as long as possible, until his body gives out and his face is pressed down right against it.

He barely recognises his own voice, it sounds like that of a dying animal as he feels his skin tearing and burning off his face. Over the sounds of his own turmoil, he can hear Armin’s wails behind him.

The sounds of it stay with him until he finally passes out.

+++

It’s another overly clammy, late night that he can’t sleep an insurmountable time later when Armin addresses Levi for the first time since they met.

“Levi…. are you awake?” He asks shyly, twisting his heavy neck slowly to get a glimpse of his superior.

“Yeah kid, I’m awake…. what’s wrong? Can’t sleep?” Levi asks, back resting against the cool, broken radiator as he stares at the broken tiles of the ceiling, counting them again for the ninety-seventh time that day. The silver cuffs are cutting into his flesh again, as they have been since David decided they all needed something stronger to hold them more securely.

“I…. just wanted to say…. I t-think it’s t-time now Levi.” Armin says.

“Time for what? What are you talking about?” Levi asks concerned, turning his gaze to the boy at his side.

“I c-c-can’t do this anymore…. I think I’m r-ready to die.” Armin clarifies, “My body…. has nothing left to give.”
“Don’t you say that! Don’t you ever say that, you hear me?! You…. have so much more…. left to give. There’s always SOMETHING worth fighting for Armin, always.” Levi implores, manoeuvring himself so that he lays right next to Armin, looking directly into his eyes, heads pressed together, “Isn’t there something you fight for? Someone you fight for? You got somebody back home that you care about?”

Armin is hesitant for a few seconds before his eyes become glassy and he smiles despite himself,

“Amanda.”

“Amanda? Who’s Amanda kid? You love her or something?” Levi asks, hoping to keep Armin talking for as long as possible.

“Yeah, I do. I’ve never been in love before, not before her. She’s…. s-she’s my e-everything. And she’s…. not…. she’s not mine.” Armin replies sadly, “She’s with my best friend, and that’s okay, I j-just want her to be happy. Not nec-necessarily with…. me. I just wish I g-got the chance to see her…. one last time.”

“You will kid, you’ll see her again. But the next time you see her, you’ve gotta promise me one thing. You gotta tell her how much you love her, tell her how much she means to you and that the very thought of her kept you breathing through all of this shit. She doesn’t have to reciprocate, but she should know. Promise me you’ll do that….”

“I will Levi.” Armin promises, “If I make it out of this alive, I promise i’ll tell her. I promise.”

“You’re strong Armin, you’re so strong and I’m sorry…. I’m sorry…. I’m so sorry….”

Levi eventually falls asleep like that, chanting his apologies through his steady breaths. He can’t even hear Armin telling him over and over again that he has nothing to apologise for.

+++

It’s after countless more days and nights have passed that Levi wakes up one morning and finally believes he’s going to die.

He hasn’t eaten a single bite of food in weeks, feeding any small scraps he’s given to the others as they’re so weak. Petra barely wakes up these days, in a constant state of drowsiness or slumber, he can’t remember the last time he saw her eyes. Oluo doesn’t speak anymore, whether it’s because of the pain in his mouth or the fact the woman he loves is becoming more and more of a shell with every day that passes, he can’t tell. Gunther has no choice but to lay flat on the floor every day and night, not shifting an inch due to the broken neck inflicted on him, he can’t even move himself to go to the bathroom, simply going on himself whenever the need arises, staring up at the cracks of the ceiling. Eld is quite genuinely nothing but a broken man, he’s paralysed from the waist down now with the stomping that was done to his spinal bone, Levi is sure of it, he does nothing but sit and have one sided conversations with hallucinations of his own wife.

Armin says nothing as he stares blankly into the barely blinking eyes of Levi, they seem to share a look that says, “It’s okay soldier, you’ve done well, and if you need to go now then that’s okay.”

Levi begins conjuring up images of Farlan, Isabel and the little baby she holds in her arms, and with that in mind, the idea of dying is not so abhorrent to him anymore.

He’s just about ready to give in and follow the three of them into the light in his mind when his head conjures up an image of Hange instead. She’s faint and she’s mouthing something to him that he can’t quite make out. He wants to tell her to stop being a shitty freak and speak up, but decides instead that he’ll have to pay more attention if he wants to know what she’s saying. He blinks a few more times, trying to clear his blurred vision and Hange becomes far more prominent than before. Another look at her suggests that she’s shouting, not simply mouthing words and she looks to be wearing heavy padding. She has a large helmet on her head with two flashing lights on top of it, the lights he’d been trying to follow with Isabel and Farlan. He’s seen stupid looking helmets like that before, when he would be sent on rescue missions and one couldn’t be sure of the conditions they’d be met with….

And then the realisation finally hits him.

Hange is really here, wearing that ridiculous padding and helmet, she’s really shouting at him, trying to bring him back into consciousness.

She’s found him. She’s found them all. They’re going to be okay.

+++

It’s a couple weeks before Levi can be discharged by the hospital and given a clean bill of health, pretty much unscathed apart from the horrible burn scarring on the left side of his face. The scarring he’d be doomed to live with for the rest of his life.

He was pretty much quarantined during his time in hospital, practically force fed until gaining a healthy amount of weight and monitored closely by several psychologists looking for signs of depression, PTSD, suicidal tendencies or even Stockholm Syndrome. The bouts of depression and the PTSD were a given considering the treatment he’d faced at the hands of his tormentors, but he’d be damned if he’d take his own life or want anything to do with that shit hole for another second of his life, he wasn’t a victim anymore. They had no power over him anymore.

Hange confirmed all four members of the Underground that had held him and his squad captive for four months were shot dead on site when their location had finally been determined. Despite the reservations that the higher ups back home had, Hange never gave up looking for them, she wouldn’t allow them to become unsolved casualties of the Underground, and even if it meant she found them dead, she’d vowed to find them no matter what. She wouldn’t let their disappearance remain a mystery.

After a long conversation with Hange and Erwin, via Skype call, Levi confirmed he would be handing in his official resignation from the Army and would retire from the forces for good as soon as he arrives back home in Trost, and Erwin assured him he would always have a job waiting for him at his new firm whenever he’s ready to begin working again, knowing full well that living solely on an Army pension would never be enough for his best friend.

Hange confirmed a few days later that she’d be right behind Levi in handing in her own resignation as well, despite the protests of both Levi and Erwin respectively, she continued refusing to change her decision on the matter.

Levi is finishing packing up the small suitcase of his belongings that Hange had delivered to him for his hospital visit, when he thinks on how much has actually changed in a relatively short space of time. He tries not to dwell on it too much, as the memories threaten to overtake and throw him into a sudden panic attack. He knows the doctors and nurses well enough here to know that if he shows he’s in any way not ready to be cleared, they’ll have him back in a hospital bed quicker than it takes him to go for a shit.

He shakes his head to clear the dark thoughts and leaves the room in a hurry. On his way out of the hospital ward, he passes by the open door of Armin’s room. When he looks inside, he’s surprised to find Petra standing with a drip at her side, holding on to Oluo for support as they chatter away with their youngest comrade. Eld is here too, in a wheelchair as he good naturedly jokes with Armin, the younger man leaning over so Eld can affectionately ruffle his hair. He notes the absence of Gunther, but then again, a broken neck takes much longer to heal and strolls outwith his room are probably not possible at this moment, never mind viable.

Levi hesistates by the door for a few moments, considering whether or not he should go inside, when he eventually decides against it and takes once last look before he walks away, out of their sight and out of their lives forever. It’s better this way, for them, for him, for everyone, he tells himself.

He pretends not to hear Armin calling after him as he walks further and further away from the ward, silent tears falling down his face with every step he takes.

Chapter Text

Chapter 21

By the time Levi is finished telling his side of the story, he can feel Eren’s tight grasp, hand now shaking in his own. When he looks up, there are tears streaming freely down the boy’s face, his normally pretty features scrunched up in a gradient of shock and despair.

“Oh my god…. Why…. Why didn’t you…. Armin, why didn’t you tell me? I can’t….” Eren manages, his breath catching between words and sobs escaping his throat no matter how much he tries to hold them in.

Before Armin can respond however, Annie gets up from the armchair she’d been sitting in and quickly leaves the room without saying another word, not even looking back at the inhabitants she’s left behind. Levi can see from the small glass window on the door that Marco tries to get her attention, but she simply ignores him, continuing to walk away as the confused man watches after her worriedly.

Armin sighs, “I better go and check on her, I’ve never told her the full story in that much detail…. I should have expected her to be a little taken aback, I’ll be back soon.” He says, as he begins to stand.

“No!” Levi exclaims, reaching over Eren to grab Armin’s elbow with his free hand, “Let me talk to her, this is new to Eren, and you two need to work this out yourselves first. Plus, I need to have a little word with Annie myself anyway.”

“Alright then.” Armin nods, “Just please don’t be too hard on her for not telling you about me before, if you need to yell at her I’d rather you do it when she’s in a slightly better state of mind. You can be quite imposing and frightening when you want to be….”

“I won’t.” Levi promises, “But I need to talk to her nonetheless.”

“Wait, Levi!” Eren yelps suddenly, voice a little choked up and eyes still filled with unshed tears, clutching tighter on to Levi’s hand, “Don’t leave yet, I don’t want you to go right now. Please stay.” Eren doesn’t add the “with me” but it’s heavily implied, and of course Armin picks up on it straight away.

“I won’t be gone for long, brat. And anyway, you and Armin have some talking of your own to do. Annie and I will be back before you can even miss us.” Levi says gently, and Eren sighs lightly before nodding in agreement. Levi ruffles Eren’s hair affectionately before he leaves, causing some of his long strands to break free from his hair tie, and leaves the room in the same way Annie had moments prior.

+++

To his surprise, Levi finds Annie sitting on the steps of Jean and Marco’s front porch, facing away from him and smoking a cigarette.

“Promise you won’t tell on me?” She asks without looking at him, “Armin doesn’t mind when I smoke, but Marco likes to give me the odd boring lecture about it. Between you and me, I’d rather save myself the headache right now.”

“Tch, I won’t tell if you let me steal one from you.” Levi bargains with a sly smirk, moving gracefully to sit next to the brooding blonde woman. She raises an amused eyebrow at him before holding out the open pack, he plucks one out and Annie gives him her own cigarette so he can light his.

They sit like that for a little while, silent and puffing away together, enjoying the feel of the night air on their skin.

“I’m not running away.” Annie says suddenly, “If that’s what you think. I just got a little….”

“Overwhelmed?” Levi offers, taking another drag of his cigarette as he watches her fidget with the hem of her shirt with one hand. She nods gently, looking down at her crossed feet rather than at him.

“Obviously Armin has told me about what happened back then before, about him being raped and how they would hurt him…. but I hadn’t imagined there would be such a big difference between hearing it from him and hearing it from someone who watched as it happened. He talks about it like it happened to somebody else, which I get, I suppose at some point it probably would end up feeling like an out of body experience…. or maybe that’s just how he keeps it at bay…. I don’t know. But hearing it from you…. hearing about how it felt to watch him go through it, seeing the unspeakable things they did to him for fun with your own eyes…. it was like watching it play out for myself. I couldn’t bear the thought of seeing him go through that.” Annie clarifies, looking sheepishly at Levi, and for once he thinks she looks her age, 21, with her whole damn life in front of her.

“I’m sorry, I should have been more considerate of your feelings….”

“No, don’t apologise.” Annie insists, “I wanted to hear what you had to say, I stupidly didn’t think of what that would truly mean for me. And it’s not like I had to actually go through it…. not like you and Armin….” She trails off, stubbing out her cigarette and lighting a new one. She offers Levi another, but he declines, tipping his head back slightly to look up at the stars that are beginning to appear.

“I wanted to say thank you.” Annie says, “For being there for Armin back then, for giving him a reason to live. He’s told me before that if it hadn’t been for you, he would have given up hope much sooner than he did. He said you reminded him to focus on what was important in life, on the things he had left to fight for. For me. If you hadn’t been there Levi, I’m afraid I might not be standing here today, surrounded by people I consider my family, wearing the ring that the love of my life gave me on the day I agreed to be his wife. I have a lot to thank you for.”

“You give me far too much credit.” Levi insists a little uncomfortably, not quite sure how to react to Annie’s statement, “I gave him a few encouraging words, the rest was all him.”

“You’re wrong.” Annie states firmly, “Do you remember that I told you back when we met that I used to date Mikasa?”

Levi nods an affirmative.

“We were together for about 2 years, maybe a little longer if I remember correctly, but she was my first love. The first person I had ever considered building a life with, a real life, mine wasn’t the best growing up, but I won’t bore you with that. I adored her, truly I did, but she was so focused on Eren and the shit he was going through at the time. Of course, your brother fighting a drug addiction is tough, but it’s no reason to put your own life on hold and make him the centre of your entire world.

But I understood why she did it, and I loved Eren like a brother back then too, so I waited patiently for her to do what she needed to do and come back to me properly. When Armin left to go to the military, although back then he told us he was joining the peace corps….” Levi snorts at this and Annie huffs a little laugh also, “it was just Mikasa and I left to look after Eren. Of course Jean and Marco did what they could, but they were a little older and didn’t want to impose on Grisha and Carla with their constant presence. Mikasa started to become completely neurotic about him, and it was almost impossible to get her to leave him alone without questioning him several times a day or interrogating him whenever he went out or came back home, honestly it was exhausting and I wasn’t even on the receiving end of it.

The more focused and concerned she became about Eren, the less time she spent investing our relationship. It’s not that she didn’t care, she just had other things in her life that became more important. But I wanted to be treated like I was important too, coming from a broken family made me want to have a commitment of my own, the promise of my own little family one day. And Mikasa wasn’t willing to give me that then, and I wasn’t willing to wait for her. So, we ended it and I almost lost everything. It wasn’t intentional on anybody’s part, but Mikasa was much closer to everyone else than I was, she introduced me to all of my friends with the exception of Bert and Reiner, so I ended up distancing myself out of awkwardness and sense of duty.” Annie explains, continuing to puff on her cigarette here and there as she speaks. Levi continues to listen intently as she carries on.

“I was rather lonely and depressed when Armin returned and visited me at my home. We had tea as I cried on his shoulder over what had happened in the time he’d been gone, seems a little ridiculous now that I think back on it. He just listened and listened, didn’t even complain once, so I asked him why he was being so attentive all of a sudden. He just said that he wanted to listen to the sound of my voice…. He confessed to me that night, told me that someone incredibly important to him made him promise to tell me how he felt, even if it meant I would have to reject him…. I thought back then he was talking about Eren, but I realise now it was you all along. It was because of you that he poured his heart out to me…. and I chose to take a leap of faith. So, no Levi, I’m not giving you too much credit…. I owe you everything.”

Levi lets the words sink in for a few moments before he turns back to face Annie, she isn’t watching him like he’d thought, simply finishing off her cigarette with a serene look on her usually sharp, bored features.

“You know, this wasn’t at all how I expected this conversation to go. I thought I’d be coming out here to question you properly on why you brought me here…. But now that you’ve told me all of that, I don’t need to. I can see how much you love him, that much is obvious, and I’ve always lived my life making the decisions that I believed I would regret the least. My biggest regret is not listening to Armin when he tried to warn me that day…. but I will never regret not listening to him when he told me he was ready to die, you two deserve to be happy together, I mean that.” Levi says genuinely, and Annie blushes tomato red in response.

“You try and tell anybody I said that, girl or not, I’ll kick your ass. Got that?” He jokes, smirking lightly as he stands up, patting Annie lightly on the shoulder as he does so and offering his hand to help her up.

“I’ll be holding you to that Ackerman.” Annie replies cheekily, grabbing Levi’s outstretched hand.

+++

“I don’t know what to say.” Eren admits, refusing to look at Armin directly in the eye and staring intently at his still shaking hands.

“You don’t have to say anything you don’t want to Eren, we can talk about this in the morning if you’d rather? Give you some time to think on it?” Armin offers, rubbing Eren lightly on the arm in comfort.

“It’s not that Armin,” Eren insists, “I’m not weirded out by you or anything, so please don’t think that. I just…. feel so guilty.”

“Why do you feel guilty?” Armin asks, genuinely confused, “You didn’t do anything.”

“Exactly Arm, I did nothing. You were gone for over a year, training and fighting in an Army I had no idea about, all the time I thought you’d joined the Peace Corps and were building houses in Africa or something similar. Instead, I find out you were somewhere in the Middle East, fighting terrorists and were held captive, raped, tortured and almost died. And then you came back, and you helped me cope after I got out of Rehab…. you listened as I bitched and complained about Mikasa and feeling tempted to use again…. and the whole time….” Eren chokes on a sob, “The whole time you had nobody to turn to…. I’m so sorry Armin, if I had known….”

“Hey, don’t do that!” Armin says, wrapping his best friend into a hug and holding him tightly, “I was the one that chose not to tell you, if anyone should be sorry, it should be me for not trusting in you sooner. I just knew you had so much on your plate, I didn’t want to give you any more to worry about. Then you started to get better, and I wanted for you to stay happy. I know it sounds dumb, but for me there was just never a good time to tell you.”

Eren continues crying into his friend’s shoulder, holding him impossibly closer as if to confirm to himself he’s still there, alive, breathing and okay.

“And you’re forgetting, I had Annie too. I did as Levi said and I told her how I felt not a day after returning home, and since then she’s been by my side. It was hard to tell her, I won’t lie, but you know Annie, despite how she presents herself she has a loving heart, and she was amazing. I couldn’t have gotten through it without her. So please don’t be too angry with her.” Armin pleads on the behalf of his fiancée, remembering the tension between her and Eren earlier that evening.

Eren cringes, “Don’t worry, I’m not gonna try and make her feel bad or anything, I should probably apologise.”

“That can wait, it’s been a long day, you talk to her in the morning.” Armin suggests gently, still rubbing circles into his friend’s back as they pull out of the hug. Without warning, Eren is suddenly struck with thoughts of Levi, and what he’d also had to go through those years ago and every day since.
“Levi, I should do something for him, he’s been so good to me these last couple months. And now I know what he’s had to deal with since retiring from the Military…. No wonder he’s hated me all this time. Can’t say I blame him….” Eren complains mournfully.

“Eren, listen to me, granted I’ve only been back for a few hours and I’ve only been hearing snippets from Annie on how you and he have been with each other, but I can guarantee that man doesn’t hate you.” Armin assures him with an amused look.

“You can’t possibly know that….” Eren mutters.

“Maybe not, but I have seen Levi’s hatred before first hand, I know what that looks like. And I can tell you, it’s nowhere near the way he acts around you, not even close. I would actually go as far as to say he likes you and values your friendship. Trust me, you would know if he felt anything even remotely close to hate towards you.” Armin says nervously, scratching the back of his neck. Eren looks at him closely, suspicion beginning to creep in at his friend’s words.

“Armin, what are you not telling me?” Eren asks curiously, continuing to stare at Armin intently.

“I don’t know what you’re talking abou….”

“Armin. Tell me.” Eren demands softly, still not completely over his earlier breakdown.

“Okay, well the thing is….” Armin begins quietly, checking the door before he continues, making Eren a lot more nervous than he would like, “…. Levi spoke about the four men that held us captive in that house. But…. there were actually five men in total, the fifth man was called Jonah. Levi killed him.”

“What? What do you mean?!” Eren exclaims with eyes wider than saucers.

“It was the day they scarred him. David didn’t just shove Levi’s face onto the stove because he broke free of his ties, he did it because Levi practically ripped Jonah’s throat out with his teeth, he bled to death in minutes. Levi said before that he fell to the ground after becoming woozy with exhaustion, he didn’t, I think he blacked out and killed Jonah in an animalistic rage before coming back to his senses. I don’t even think he remembers doing it.” Armin explains.

“My god….” Eren pales, “But he didn’t mention a Jonah at all? Just the other four.”

“My theory is that he’s repressed all memory of Jonah completely, as a coping mechanism. He was a nasty one, he liked to focus all of his brutish antics on Levi, beat him senseless constantly, exploited Levi’s OCD and need for cleanliness whenever he could, electrocuted him with tasers when he stopped watching the others with me….I don’t blame Levi for doing what he did, but I think on some level he hates the fact he lost himself, even for just a few moments, and has locked it far away in his head. It goes without saying that you can’t say anything about it Eren, I don’t know how might react if he were ever reminded of that.” Armin implores, making sure Eren fully comprehends his words as the brunet nods in solemn agreement.

+++

Armin and Eren are just leaving the living room when Levi and Annie make their way back into the house, meeting each other in the hallway. Neither pair even has the chance to say a word before Marco is fussing over them all.

“You guys all doing okay there now? Anybody need more tea or anything?” He asks self-consciously, pulling absentmindedly at the bottom of his (well, Jean’s) oversized shirt. The group all shake their heads no, and Armin speaks up for the entire group.

“We’re very sorry about this evening Marco, and it’s already gone 11pm, we didn’t mean to impose in your home for so long.” Armin apologises profusely, and Marco whips his arm with the dishtowel that had been slung over his shoulder.

“You stop talking that nonsense now Armin! Since when have we ever said you were imposing here?” Marco asked astonished, “You get that ridiculous idea out your head now, ya hear?”

“Sorry Marco.” Eren pipes up, “It’s been a very long and eventful day, for me at the very least.”

“No need for dumb apologies, don’t make me hit you too! Now everyone else has already left, Connie and Sasha had to take Kaya home to put her to bed, although she was a little upset that she didn’t get the chance to give her favourite uncle a kiss goodbye.” Marco admonishes a disappointed looking Levi, he always makes sure he says goodbye properly when Kaya has to leave, he’ll buy her a nice new stuffed animal as an apology to make up for it. She likes Hippos these days, that’ll be perfect.

“I feel like I should let y’all know that poor Hange wasn’t looking too good when she left, said she wanted some time to be alone tonight so Erwin left with Mikasa, there was talk of him staying over there tonight seeing as they have their date starting early tomorrow anyway…” Marco explains, and Levi can’t help but interrupt at the revelation.

“Wait, Eyebrows and Scarfy are going on a date? Seriously? When was this decided?” Levi asks, astonished at the idea of his best friend and employer’s sister going on a date together. A real date. The idea is just weird to him.

“Umm, Levi. They’ve been fairly obvious about it over the last few days. They have barely left eachother’s sides since Erwin arrived here…. Erwin was covered in red lipstick at the club for a good few hours…. Mikasa’s hair and make-up were a touch away from completely ruined…. They were flirting constantly…. None of this ringing any bells?” Eren teases, grinning in amusement at his confused friend’s expression.

“I’m…. not exactly good when it comes to recognising attraction.” Levi says, shifting uncomfortably just as Jean is passing them all by on his way to the bathroom.

“Yeah, no kidding.” Jean jokes, cackling as Eren blanches and Marco balls up the dishtowel to throw at his head as he closes the downstairs bathroom door on them.

“Anyway, now that’s all cleared up, I’ve spent the last couple hours getting the guest rooms set up for y’all, so feel free to head to bed whenever you’d like, Armin and Annie have the downstairs queen room, Levi, Eren, you guys are in the adjoining room upstairs.” Marco says.

“Now, just wait a second Marco, you didn’t have to do that. I’m fine driving everyone home, I’m completely sober, and I’m pretty sure everyone else has sobered up since dinner.” Levi insists.

“I’ll hear none of that Levi. Now, I may not have a damned idea what the heck’s been going on tonight but going by the way y’all have been acting I’m gonna hedge a guess and say that none of you should be left alone tonight. You need to be with your friends and you are more than welcome to be here whenever you want to be, so you can do whatever the heck you wanna do right now, Jean and I are always up late anyhow, but I insist that you sleep here tonight and have breakfast here tomorrow before you even THINK about leaving, and you WILL be sleeping in. You all have spare clothes and PJs, so I won’t accept any excuses.” Marco finishes finally, crossing his arms just as Jean exits the bathroom and joins them all in the hallway.

“Did I hear correctly that we’re having a sleepover babe?” Jean asks easily, wrapping an arm around Marco’s shoulders, Marco and the others nod in agreement, “Excellent, now then, Levi, Annie, you guys up for some video games?”

+++

It’s around 2 o’clock in the morning when everybody has retired to their respective bedrooms and it’s nearly 3 o’clock in the morning when Levi gives up even trying to get any sleep tonight. Instead, he decides to do his best in clearing out the massive closet in the beautifully decorated guest bedroom.

Levi always sleeps in this room whenever he and Eren sleep over, with the latter always placed in the adjoining room connected. He begins rifling through the closet, neatly folding clothes and pyjamas that belong to him, Connie, Sasha and Kaya. Connie and Sasha also tend to use this room on the odd occasion, the adjoining room a perfect place to have Kaya sleep when they’re beat and not up to making the long drive home.

He’s just putting away several piles of clothes carefully, when there is a light tapping on the door leading to the bedroom directly connected to his. It can only be Eren.

“Come in.” Levi whispers quietly, not wanting to wake Jean and Marco, who are situated just down the hall.

“Hi” Eren calls softly, entering the room wearing nothing but a black tank top and a pair of sleep shorts, “I couldn’t sleep….and going by the state of that closet, I’m guessing you couldn’t either?” He teases.

“What are you talking about? The closet is spotless.”

“Exactly.”

Levi huffs for a moment, before putting the last of the clothes away and sitting back down on his comfy double bed, patting the free spot next to him when Eren simply stands looking a little lost for words for a few moments.

“What’s on your mind, kid?” Levi asks gently, genuinely curious on Eren’s feelings seeing as they haven’t had a proper chance to talk in private.

“I just…. I keep thinking about all of those horrible things you told me. I can’t get my head around them, you and Armin, you’ve been through so much, you’re both so brave.” Eren says, and Levi chuckles lightly in response.

“I wouldn’t call it bravery kid, Armin and I are the same in that we’ve only been doing what we can to survive….and now that it’s all over, we continue to do the same thing every day. We’re not heroes Eren, we’re survivors. Nothing extraordinary here, so stop looking at me like that, I don’t need misplaced hero worship from you of all people kid.” Levi says, nudging Eren’s bare shoulder.

“You’re far too hard on yourself Levi.” Eren insists, “You just…. don’t look at yourself and see what I see.”

“Well, what exactly do you see?” Levi asks, quirking an eyebrow.

“I see a survivor, yes. But I also see a fighter…. A leader…. A man who stopped at nothing to get all of his men home to their families, safe and sound…. I see a strong man who feels broken, and can’t see how truly beautiful he is, inside and out, because he put others first before himself, he put himself through hell and back, and he did it all so that even when he wasn’t the one being tortured he could still share the pain with the ones who were, so that they knew they weren’t alone, that they had somebody watching over them. A hero, dare I say. That’s the kind of man I think you are Levi.” Eren finishes, “A hero, a saviour. A good man.”

“You think I’m a good man?” Levi asks, voice soft and face turning a brighter shade of red than he’s used to.

“Put it this way, I think it takes a very good, very special type of man to face the one thing he fears the most and make his home in the room next to it.” Eren jokes self-depricatingly, shrugging a shoulder and looking at Levi with a coy smile.

“Eren,” Levi begins, looking at Eren as he does so, all traces of humour suddenly gone from his features, “You know that I don’t hate you right? Because you’re gay? I’m not going to lie and say it’s never bothered me, because it has, it’s bothered me to the point where I’ve wanted to forget the contract and hand in my request for a release from it. But…. I know you’re not them, that you’re not like them…. things have changed since then.”

“What changed?” Eren asks, placing a tentative hand on Levi’s shoulder, his T-shirt feeling cool against the warm skin of Eren’s palm.

“The way I feel about you.” Levi clarifies, looking into Eren’s mesmerising, mismatched eyes.

“And…. What way would that be?” Eren asks, focusing hard on his words so his breath doesn’t hitch. Damn, he has it bad.

“Well, you’re an annoying little shit…. but for some reason I find it utterly impossible to dislike you. And against my better judgement, I’ve found that I happen to care about you brat, you’ve wormed your way into my life and now I have no way of getting rid of you.” Levi smirks, laughing at Eren’s annoyed eye roll.

“I probably could have told you that old man.” Eren complains, “And here I was thinking that you were going to say you were glad to have me as your friend and that you value me.”

“That’s ambitious of you brat, now all this pointless, shitty chatter is actually making me tired. I’m gonna try to get some sleep again, and I suggest that you do too.” Levi says pointedly, as he pushes Eren off the edge of his bed to pull the covers back and climbing in.

Eren hesitates for a little before he makes his way towards the door to his own bed, “Okay, goodnight Levi.”

“Eren.” Levi calls to him, and Eren pauses his actions immediately.

“Yeah?”

“Stop looking so much like a kicked puppy and get in here before I change my mind.” Levi orders, looking positively bored and tired as he turns away from Eren to lie on his other side.

“Really? You really want me to sleep next to you?”

“Well, not particularly, but you don’t look like you’re quite ready to be left alone with your thoughts, so this is me being a caring ‘friend’ as you call it and offering an olive branch. Or in this instance, a side of the bed.”

Eren allows himself a secret grin, before he eagerly climbs into the bed next to Levi. The man continues facing away from him, breathing evenly and deeply. Eren almost thinks his friend has already fallen asleep until Levi begins to speak again.

“You do know that I am though, right brat?” Levi asks sleepily.

“That you are what?” Eren replies with his own question, through a rather loud yawn.

“Glad to have you as a friend.” Levi clarifies, and is almost certain that Eren will be able to see his flush travel up his bare neck even in the near complete darkness of the room. Eren simply grins in response, snuggling himself just a little bit closer to Levi.

“I’m glad to have you as a friend too, old man.” Eren replies happily, throwing an arm over Levi’s petite form as he fully settles for the night.

“As touched as I am by the sentiment, you better get that arm off me right now if you plan on keeping it. And stick to your side or I’ll kick your ass out on to the cold floor.”

Eren rolls his eyes in disdain, before turning away and falling into a deep, impenetrable sleep.

However, despite all of Levi’s threats, the pair unconsciously find themselves gravitating towards eachother through the mask of slumber, wrapping their limbs together like vines and faces so close they almost touch, deep puffs of air passing between their open mouths as they sleep soundly, pleasantly oblivious to their much too close proximity and compromising position as they rest their foreheads together, gently rocked to sleep by the sound of their counterpart’s breathing.

This is the way they are found the next day by Jean, who decided to stick his head in to Levi on the way to the kitchen to make tea and coffee. He chuckles lightly, shaking his head in amusement at his two friends before closing the bedroom door back over. He may or may not have also taken some damning photographs on his phone.

Chapter Text

Chapter 22

It’s the middle of the following week when Eren officially works his final shift at Queen Cosmetics, and safe to say it was an emotional day for everybody.

Eren still worked away like normal, as if he’d be coming in again the next morning like nothing at all was about to change, and honestly Levi would have believed it if it hadn’t been for the blubbering raincloud of doom hovering close to Eren’s side all day. A raincloud in the name of Historia.

The little blonde woman had been completely inconsolable the whole day knowing she was about to lose her favourite employee and friend from her daily schedule, and had to be taken through the back for a calming cup of tea on more than one occasion throughout the day, leaving Levi to entertain her clients while Eren busted his ass to pick up the slack. Levi got the feeling that more than one of her clients would have preferred to have been left alone than have to make small talk with the surly, unsociable man in a suit.

At the end of the day, it was revealed that all of Eren’s regular clients and even some of Historia’s all banded together to say goodbye and get him a massive leaving gift, with no less than 14 different bouquets of flowers all wrapped in his arms when he’s about ready to leave. And to his surprise, Levi was also handed a bag of his own with a gift and a card inside, by Mrs Schroeder who pinched his flushed red cheek affectionately. Surprisingly, nearly everybody who chipped in for Eren’s gift, also signed his own card and contributed to a lovely new handheld vacuum cleaner for him. To say he was oddly touched would be a bit of an understatement.

As expected, Eren broke down in the middle of his leaving speech, which caused Historia to start balling her eyes out all over again, and then some of the ladies who have known them both for years started to shed a tear of their own. All the while, Levi wanted to burst into tears himself at the thought of the mess all those flowers were going to make to interior of his car.

+++

“I wanna make a video.” Eren states on Friday afternoon, it’s not a question nor a suggestion, just a simple statement seemingly out of thin air. Levi peers up from the book he’d been reading on his armchair and arches an eyebrow, his thick rimmed reading glasses falling down his nose slightly at the action.

“You’re not due to make another until tomorrow, you always film on a Saturday and your announcement is due tomorrow, you need to wait until then.” Levi remarks disinterested, returning to his book and flipping the page.

“I know that, I still have my episode planned for tomorrow to reveal my palette. Nile would pitch a fit if I deviated from his schedule.” Eren says with an eye roll, “I just mean something different, not my usual content you know? Like a game or a challenge or something, I’ve always wanted to try making a tag challenge video.”

“A what now?” Levi asks, marking his page and setting his book aside, knowing he won’t get any more reading done now that Eren is apparently in a chatty mood. He decides to get up and make tea for the pair, and Eren twists to continue talking to the man from the comfort of the living room.

“I always forget how old you are.” Eren comments cheekily, earning him a warning glare from Levi as he boils the kettle, “A tag challenge video is basically a load of different types of challenges over the internet that people take part in and ‘tag’ their friends to do it also. It can be anything really, but one of my most requested is having somebody put make-up on me without my input.”

“Tch, sounds dumb, but if you’re so set on doing it you should call Mikasa and see if she wants to help you with it. She’s been miserable since Erwin left last week, she’d probably jump at the chance to do it with you.” Levi suggests, finishing the tea and handing Eren a steaming mug before sitting back in his chair.

It was true, Mikasa had been positively gloomy since Erwin had to leave, more-so than Levi had ever seen her before and while she’d never exactly been cheery around him, there was definitely a noticeable difference. Eren had picked up on it too and even Marco remarked on it at dinner that Sunday, offering Mikasa extra helpings of food and drink, which were politely declined with barely one word answers.

“I would have, but I called her earlier and she’s working through to Sunday. Hannes is planning on retiring soon and between you and me, I think he’s planning on giving her the shop when he does. He mentioned it months ago.” Eren says, sipping his tea with a smile on his face.

“Then I don’t know what to tell you. You’re just bored because right now you’re technically unemployed and Marco gave you the weekend off. Find something else to do kid.” Levi advises, drinking from his mug and setting it down on the table in front of him, picking up today’s newspaper, “You can help me with today’s crossword if you want.”

“Oh Levi, that’s boring.” Eren complains, “You…. could always help me with my video if you wanted to….”

“Now there’s your problem right there,” Levi says, “I don’t want to.”
“Come on Levi, surely you gotta be as bored as I am right now! You were Black Ops, sitting on the couch doing a crossword and drinking tea can’t be very fulfilling to someone like you.” Eren whines as he rolls off the couch and onto the floor.

“You’d be surprised what several months in captivity can do to a person’s perspective on mundane tasks kid.” Levi replies as he absentmindedly flicks through the paper to get to the crossword page.

“Hey, just because I know about that now doesn’t mean you can keep using it to get out of things.” Eren warns sternly, scrunching his face up like a child and folding his arms.

“Have I used that this week already?” Levi jokes with a smirk before huffing out a sigh at the sight of Eren’s pout and puppy dog eyes, “Look, just let me finish my tea and do this puzzle and I’ll think about it alright?”

“That’s all I ask!” Eren insists, and Levi shakes his head before grabbing a pen to start before he looks down to see Eren resting his head against his crossed leg, sitting cross legged on the floor at his feet.

“Tch, stupid brat.” Levi scoffs, yet still not hesitating to ruffle Eren’s hair affectionately, and not moving his hand away once he’s done so.

+++

Against his better judgement, Levi once again finds himself scowling on the wrong side of Eren’s camera, with said boy overenthusiastically greeting their future audience, an incredible amount of make up products laid out in front of them.

“S’up Jaegerbombs! No, your eyes are not deceiving you, I’m back again, this time with a completely new kind of video for your viewing pleasure! My lovely, wonderful roommate Levi is kindly here with me once again and we’re going to be playing a little game.” Eren says excitedly to his camera.

“I would just like to point out that I’m not here out of my own accord, I was kidnapped, blackmailed and my family are currently being held in an unknown location, they will be killed if I refuse to comply.” Levi deadpans, looking completely serious as he speaks, making Eren giggle the whole time.

“Someone is just moody that they had to get all pretty for the Jaegerbombs today instead of just sitting watching crappy daytime TV all day.” Eren explains as he rubs at Levi’s shoulder, “But in actual fact, I have a very special announcement that I shall be making in tomorrow’s episode so please look forward to that, but we’re here today because we will be attempting the ‘Roommate does my make-up’ challenge! For this, I have had to remove all traces of any make up from my face, so I apologise for my trash face. However, Levi will be making me look stunning, as I am giving him access to ALL of my expensive products right here.” Eren says as he gestures to the dressing table, “The only catch is, I’m not allowed to help him or refuse anything he wants to put on me. Doesn’t that sound fun Levi?”

“Seeing as I’m probably going to be left cleaning any spillage, I’m going to reserve judgement on that for now.” Levi replies, picking up a random bottle and inspecting it.

“Okay, well without any further ado, let’s get started!” Eren claps his hands and looks to Levi, “So Levi, what are you going to do to me first?”

Levi glares at the suggestive look Eren gives him at the question and picks up a face wipe from it’s packet.

“Well, your dumb face has gotta be cleaned first obviously, lean forward.”

“You don’t have to do that, I already washed my face before we started, you can just start on the make-up.”

“Uh uh, you’re not allowed to refuse. And I would like to make sure that you have washed your skin properly before I’m expected to put my hands anywhere near it.”

“Fine.” Eren huffs, leaning forward so that Levi can clean his face with the wipe, his hands quick and efficient as he does. Once he’s finished, he inspects Eren, turning his head this way and that before deciding he’s satisfied and discarding the wipe in the trashcan.

“Okay, so now you’re done cleaning me up, what comes next?” Eren asks amused, hands behind his back and putting his legs up in Levi’s lap. The latter bats them off with a slap and assesses the younger man’s face once again.

“Your skin is looking a little dry by your nose and forehead, so I think I should be putting a little moisturiser on you first.” Levi says, looking for the little orange bottle he’d seen Eren use hundreds of times, and honestly, he’s borrowed it a couple times himself. Eren nods a little at his words, so when Levi does finally locate it, he doesn’t hesitate to spread a little over Eren’s skin, paying particular attention to his ‘problem areas’ as he himself would call them.

“You seem to be doing alright so far, can you remember what comes next?” Eren asks.

“Usually I’m too busy listening to you yapping my ear off to actually pay attention to what you’re doing.” Levi remarks, “But luckily for your annoying ass, I have excellent observational skills, so from what I remember, you normally do foundation next. Except you have so many different shades and bottles, are you planning on your skin changing colour overnight? There’s no fucking point in having 8 different shades when you are all the one colour.”

“Ooh, is that some shade you’re aiming at me there?” Eren jokes with a shit eating grin.

“I will shove this up your ass.” Levi threatens, holding up a thick, glass foundation bottle.

“Is that a promise?”

“Definitely, you’ll be shitting glass shards for the next fortnight.”

“Okay, that’s less appealing….” Eren relents, palms held up in surrender, “Anyway, what colour are you thinking of?”

Levi thinks for a moment, stuck between two bottles in his hands, “You’ve definitely said before that you use the colour ‘Sand’ on yourself, but I also recall you saying you had to mix it with ‘Snow’ for a while to make it look right. Snow is the one you use on me, so that’s definitely too pale for you, so I’m thinking to use the Sand one and just mix a little of the Snow colour in.”

Eren continues grinning as Levi rattles of his explanation, pleasantly taken aback at the amount of information the man had actually managed to absorb in the times he’s observed him do his own make up to be able to recite his routine almost perfectly. Levi soon begins looking around for something and can’t seem to be able to find it.

“What are you trying to find?” Eren finally asks him.

“Do you have ANYTHING I can use to squirt this shit on? I really don’t want to have to put it on my hands.” Levi grimaces, rummaging through make up bags and picking up different packs of things scattered around the table.

“There should be some empty containers in my top drawer, pick one out and put some in there.” Eren advises, and Levi retrieves one quickly, unscrewing the cap and squirting some of Eren’s foundation into it.

“So how are you going to put it on me?” Eren asks curiously, watching as Levi lays out the things he’ll need for the entirety of the video.

“I know that you use both make up brushes and…. blenders, I want to say.”

“Beauty blenders, yes.” Eren clarifies, opening a special bag filled with the little sponges.

“What the fuck are those?!” Levi exclaims, picking one out to examine it with the tips of his fingers.

“They’re beauty blenders, what do you think they look like?”

“Quite honestly, they look like anal plugs.” Levi replies honestly, holding one out to the camera for the audience to see, “Don’t you think?”

Eren laughs in disbelief, “And how would you know what anal plugs look like?”

Levi raises his brow in derision, “I’m Demisexual Eren, not naïve.”

“Right, you are now banned from the beauty blenders, fuck knows what you’d try doing with them if I left you alone!” Eren exclaims, grabbing the sponge from Levi and putting it back in it’s bad before zipping it up again.

“Tch, just hand me the brush brat.”

+++

All in all, Eren can honestly say he’s rather surprised by how well Levi has done for his first attempt at make-up. Sure, the eyeshadow is a little bit darker on one side and the lip liner is a little too dark to look natural with the lip shade he’s chosen, but Eren is a drag queen, so natural isn’t exactly what he aims for typically anyway. If Eren hadn’t known any better, he’d have guessed that Levi is not a complete novice when it comes to make up technique.

After they say their goodbyes and sign off on camera, Eren begins editing straight away while Levi starts cleaning Eren’s bedroom and clearing away the things they’d been using, putting the bags in their correct drawers once they’re refilled and organised correctly.

A couple hours later when Levi has finished Eren’s room and has found some limescale in the bathroom that requires his immediate attention, and Eren has finished editing, now in the process of uploading his new video, they decide to order Pizzas in for dinner instead of cooking something from scratch. Eren, of course, orders the meatiest, messiest, greasiest pizza available on the menu, while Levi sticks with a simple pepperoni.

When their food arrives, and they settle together on the couch for the evening, they decide to stick on some random new Netflix Original for background entertainment, neither of them really paying attention but not wanting to be stuck in complete silence as they eat. Because heaven knows, Levi would complain for the rest of the night if Eren attempted to hold a conversation with his mouth full.

Levi sits upright on the couch, his plate set on the arm of the couch as he uses a knife and fork to cut into his slices carefully and methodically, making certain he’s not managed to drop or spill anything over their cloth furniture, stains are a bitch to try and get out. Eren, in contrast, lies sideways on the couch and balances his pizza (still in the box no less) precariously on his stomach, as his legs are spread out over Levi’s lower half as they watch TV together. Levi had tried to beat the habit of Eren sprawling himself all over him but learned that it was just not worth the fight in the end, and honestly, Levi didn’t mind the extra weight of Eren pressed on him, it’s not like it affected him all that much anyway.

“Mm, so do we have everything ready for tomorrow night?” Eren asks through a mouthful of pizza, a little sauce dribbling down the side of his lips.

Levi grimaces, “Quit talking with your shitty mouth full, brat. And yes, I went through the checklist with Sasha earlier and everything we need for Kaya is in the fridge or the cupboards, Connie is bringing her travel carrier and crib over with him in the afternoon when they drop her off.”

“Okay, but do you think we’ll be able to handle it? She’s never been away from Connie and Sasha for a whole night before. What if she freaks out?” Eren asks in a mild panic.

“You’re the one who sounds like he’s about to panic, and anyway she’s only one little baby, the most she can do right now is crawl, eat, shit and cry. What’s the big deal? And you know she loves us, there’s nothing to be worried about.” Levi insists, biting into a segment of his pizza after he’s done reassuring the practically constipated young man next to him.

“Hah, you mean she loves you. She has done ever since she saw you, even more so since you bought her that huge hippo thing, Sasha says she never lets go of it. Aside from Mama and Dada, I think they’re convinced the next name she’ll start saying is “Levi”. She already says “Unca” whenever you pick her up.” Eren teases, grinning as he tears a bite from the slice in his hand.

“Tch, you’re just jealous because she likes Rogue better than you.” Levi smirks and Eren kicks him in response, earning himself a sharp pinch to the ankle.

“Aww man, this Pizza is so good but it’s really heavy, I always regret buying it after a couple slices.” Eren complains, rubbing his stomach under the pizza box, “Yours looks nice and light, trade you a piece?”

“Absolutely not, that monstrosity on your lap looks positively vile. I wouldn’t eat that shit if you paid me.” Levi says, scowling at the site of the large slices covered in BBQ sauce and every possible kind of meat known to man, revolting.

“Well there’s nothing stopping you donating a slice of yours to the less fortunate.”

“Other than the fact you still have six slices of your own right there? Quit your whining.”

“Please Levi! Take pity on me!” Eren pouts, attempting to look cute and Levi is ready for it this time.

“Hey, if I can’t use my captivity excuse more than once a week, you can’t pull the big multicoloured puppy dog eyes either.” Levi warns, taking another bite of his food and amusedly watching an offended Eren angrily bite into his own slice once more.

Levi sighs once more before deciding to take pity on the silly brat, his choice of pizza does look positively disgusting, “Fine, I will give you one BITE if it will stop you looking like I’ve just kicked you.”

“Thanks dude, but you’re gonna have to feed me, can’t get up and can’t promise I’ll only stop at one bite if you give me the opportunity. Restraint has never been a strong point of mine and I don’t need you hitting me.” Eren says cheekily, opening his mouth up for Levi to feed him a bite.

Levi glares and rolls his eyes, “You’re really pushing it you know? Here, I’m not sharing a fork with you, so you’ll have to eat it this way.” He says as he holds up a full new slice to Eren’s mouth.

As the boy bites down, the tomato sauce and cheese fills his mouth, grease and oil running down his chin and dripping on to Levi’s hand. It covers his fingers in a huge mess and causes him to drop the slice on to the floor face down. Eren waits for the barrage of insults or for him to be thrown off Levi’s lap in a heap on the floor so the older man can disinfect the carpet as quickly as possible, but it never comes….

Instead, Levi simply sets the plate and box on the coffee table and straddles Eren’s lap, pinning the boy’s wrists down above his head while he’d been caught between surprise and shock, and attempting to rub the contents of his messy fingers over Eren’s make-up covered face.

“Ahh! Levi! Stop, oh my god!” Eren screeches as Levi presses his full weight on to his stomach and continues holding him down against the couch. Levi is surprisingly strong and agile despite his incredibly below average height and slender figure, and easily manoeuvres Eren as the boy thrashes his head from side to side, giggling the whole time as Levi tries to dirty his face with the oil and sauce still dripping down his index and middle fingers.

“You are a shitty brat, and therefore you should be the grimy, messy, disgusting one. So shut up and accept your punishment.” Levi growls playfully, the younger man cackling wildly as he forces his hand on Eren’s face, rubbing his fingers over Eren’s cheek and mouth. That is until Eren does something completely out of the blue and stills Levi’s heart completely for a matter of seconds.

Suddenly, Eren is no longer laughing or fighting Levi’s actions, instead he opens his mouth wide and wraps his lips around Levi’s messy fingers, licking and sucking the contents off them until they’re left completely clean. Eren’s eyes are closed as he tastes the oily residue, and the hint of Levi’s natural flavour making him moan almost pornographically…. Until he remembers where he is and his eyes fly open.

Levi is simply staring at his hand in a mixture of disbelief and shock, and then he looks at Eren with the same expression, as if he simply can’t fathom what he’s just done. And honestly, Eren can’t blame him for it. What was he thinking licking his friend’s fingers? What was he thinking as he sucked oil from the flesh of the man he lives with? From the man who WORKS for him?!

He has to get out and quickly, so he frees himself from under a stock still Levi and apologises several times over, loudly and nervously as he practically runs to the comfort and safety of his own bedroom slamming the door behind him and climbing into the fetal position on his bed.

Meanwhile, Levi continues just looking at the fingers that had just been inside Eren’s mouth. Eren, his friend, his employer, his roommate, his escape from life…. just wrapped his lips around his digits, sucked hard and moaned under him as he did it.

It’s incredibly odd to Levi, and not only the action itself exactly. What is odd is that nobody has ever done that to him before, nobody has even come close…. His ex-girlfriend Rico had tried to pressure him into intimate acts more times than he can remember, but even then, he was never swayed into the feeling, not into the feeling he’s definitely feeling now.

Levi feels…. excited by the action. Not in the sexual sense per se, but definitely in the sense of wanting to know what Eren was going to do to him next if he’d actually wanted to…. and is not completely deterred by the idea either. Up until this point, he’s been so sure that his attraction and affection had been for Rogue and only Rogue, that the idea of even being in such close proximity to a man was nothing but abhorrent to him, but now he can’t be sure. He knows he doesn't want to be with a man, and right now he doesn't really want to be with a woman either. And then there's Eren, there's Rogue....then again, Eren WAS wearing make-up when just now, could that mean something?

Whichever way he looks at it, Levi knows he definitely has some shit to figure out.

Chapter Text

Chapter 23

Eren, wallowing in his own shame and embarrassment, had decided not to risk venturing back out into the living room for the rest of the night, and fell asleep curled up in his bed.

The next morning arrives quicker than he would have liked. He looks over at his alarm clock, 11.46am, and sighs audibly, it’s a lot later than he’d been expecting. Levi must have gotten up and gone to the gym without him this morning.

With a groan, he sits up and stretches his muscles, sore from the awkward position he’d slept in, and yawns loudly. He ruffles his loose, tangled hair and gets up to look in the mirror. He gets a bit of a shock when he sees the mess of make-up and grease still all over his face. The lipstick that Levi had applied with care and precision is now smeared all over his chin and upper lip and the eyeshadow has pretty much gone but has stained his eyelids in an unnatural dark colour that gives the illusion of blackeyes.

He grabs one of his face wipes from his dressing table with a grimace and begins scrubbing hard and thoroughly, aware that the longer he spends wiping down his face, the longer it will be before he has to leave his bedroom and deal with the Levi situation.

Eren’s not stupid, he is fully aware that he was completely in the wrong with what happened the night before, he should never have let his personal feelings cloud his judgement in a moment where Levi was so far out of his comfort zone. Recently, Levi had been trying harder and harder, at Eren’s insistence, to relax around him and just have fun as friends while they could, as lately there hadn’t seemed to be any more recent news around the Titan attacks, and Eren had stupidly gone too far.

Eren’s not sure when he started feeling the way he does about Levi, he’s always found him attractive….he’s not blind, but he thinks his feelings began growing for the man not long after he’d moved in properly and Eren was having one his bad days, sitting in the pitch dark living room and vacantly watching the TV in silence. He gets depressive spells like this every so often, thinking over all the worst mistakes he’s made in his life, letting them consume his mind until he’s stuck in a dark place and he can’t get out.

When he gets like this, he usually just has to wait it out and hope for the depression to dissipate sooner rather than later. However, Levi, having not experienced Eren in one of these states before, had no idea how to handle it and managed to work himself up into a cleaning anxiety, dusting and shining every surface visible to the naked eye, re-arranging everything around Eren about ten times over and even vacuuming Eren himself as well. After a while, Eren became so concerned over Levi’s erratic behaviour, he was able to push his depressiveness to one side and focus completely on the older man, managing to settle him down and confiscate his duster.

It wasn’t a massive, life changing thing, it hadn’t even been all that memorable. But to Eren, it showed him just how much Levi was beginning to care, even if he didn’t vocalise it, because he’d worried and didn’t know what to do to help Eren, so he did the only thing he could think of and succeeded in bringing him back to down to Earth.

With his face successfully cleansed and spotless, Eren touches up the black nail polish on his fingers before he finds himself with nothing left to do, and soon has no other choice but to finally get up before Levi decides to check if he’s died in his sleep or something, it wouldn’t be the first time the older man has done so.

He’s sighs heavily and resigns himself to his fate before leaving his bedroom and closing the door over with a click.

The sight before him is not quite what he was expecting. Levi is sprawled across the living room sofa, staring at his phone screen, shirtless with little droplets of water from his shower still present in his hair and dripping teasingly down his pale abs and into the waistband of his very loose shorts, a pair of Eren’s own if he’s not mistaken. As he tries his hardest not to drool at the vision of pure sex appeal in front of him, he lets out an incredibly manly squeal that alerts Levi to his presence in the room.

“Hey kid, now that you’re up, tell me, what exactly is a “ship”?” Levi asks, moving to sit up straight and looking to Eren with curiosity in his expression.

“A ship? Like…. the boat?” Eren counters with confusion, at least fifty percent of his brain function focused solely on the chiselled, bare chest on display in front of him.

“No, not like the fucking boat, moron!” Levi rolls his eyes.

“Well, you’re gonna have to give me some context then.” Eren argues, yawning and rubbing at his eyes in an attempt to look overly tired and not like he was just ogling his friend’s semi naked form spread out like a dessert platter in an all you can eat buffet. Newsflash, he’s a pervert and has an incredibly sweet tooth…

“Your dumbass subscribers have been commenting all morning on how you and I are now their ‘ship’ or that they’re shipping us. I don’t understand, shipping us where?” Levi asks with genuine interest, scowling at his phone as if trying to intimidate it will somehow spark inspiration.

“Ahh….” Eren stutters and blushes lightly, “…. well, it’s like internet slang you know? It basically means that they enjoy watching us and they want to see more of us together…. in a sort of romantic way…. Like, as a couple…. in a relationship…. “ship”, you get it?”

Eren is sure that his face is a bright scarlet as Levi’s eyes widen a fraction in surprise, “Oh…. I see. I never would have guessed that. That’s quite clever actually, I guess not all of your subscribers are complete dumbasses.”

He remains quiet after this, putting his phone away in his pocket and Eren feels the need to fill the silence once again.

“I wouldn’t worry about it, they said the same thing when I had Marco make guest appearances as Maria a while back. People started ‘shipping’ us and saying how much of an amazing couple we would make. We just laughed it off, but Jeanbo got really pissed as you can imagine, didn’t say a word to me for weeks. Which, to be honest, worked for me just fine.”

“Tch, you know he’ll kill you if he finds out you call him Jeanbo behind his back.” Levi scoffs and Eren grins cheekily in response, “And you realise you could have easily fixed that right? Could have just featured him in some of your videos and I’m sure there would be plenty of weirdos ‘shipping’ you both or whatever. Problem solved.”

“People with horse fetishes probably. I did actually suggest that myself, but for how much he loves the sound of his own voice, he despises listening to himself on camera.” Eren shrugs, pulling absentmindedly on one of the drawstrings of his hoodie and turning his attention to the forgotten tv show Levi had playing in the background.

They remain in a comfortable quiet for a little while longer, until the elephant in the room becomes too big and too loud for them to ignore, and they both begin to speak at the exact same time.

“I’m sorry about last ni….”

“I should apolo….”

“You first.” Eren insists with a sheepish laugh, scratching at the back of his head self-consciously.

“Tch, brat. I was going to say I should apologise for last night.” Levi says gently, unconsciously covering his chest with his strong arms as he scratches at his shoulders. Eren narrows his eyes at him.

“Wait, why are you apologising? I’m the one who overstepped the mark and made you feel uncomfortable. I promised when you moved in that I wouldn’t do that, and I went ahead and broke your trust.”

“Well in case you’re forgetting kid, I was the one who climbed on top of you. We were just messing around, like you do with all of your friends, and I froze. That’s not fair on you either Eren, you shouldn’t have to constantly worry about whether or not I’m gonna freak out on you. So, I’m sorry for that.” Levi says apologetically, secretly hoping that Eren is to tired or stupid to see through his bullshit, carefree attitude over the incident that’s been playing over and over in his head all night.

“Wow…. I’ve spent probably the past 14 hours worrying about what I was gonna say to you today, and then you go ahead and do that. You keep putting yourself down or blaming yourself for things that aren’t your fault Levi. I…. shouldn’t have done what I did, regardless of whether or not weird lack of boundaries are commonplace between myself and everybody else. I’m sorry too.” Eren insists, knowing fine well within himself that his actions the night prior had been the furthest away from friendly that they could have been, short of him sticking his tongue down the other man’s throat.

“How about this then brat? Nobody is to blame and neither of us have to apologise for anything again, unless the other makes it perfectly clear they’re upset. Less stress and confusion that way.” Levi suggests helpfully, “And it’s only been a couple months, we’re bound to overstep the line at times, me as well as you.”

Eren smiles softly, “I guess that makes sense, and I think it’s a good idea. I’m all for it, no more apologies until completely necessary, deal?” He asks, spitting into his hand and sticking it out to Levi.

“Ugh, that’s disgusting! You’re all about bodily fluids, what’s the matter with you?” Levi scowls as Eren cackles, wiping his hand on his sweats and walking the short distance to the kitchen.

“I’m just kidding, I’m gonna wash my hands and make some coffee before Connie gets here with Kaya. Want some?” Eren asks, automatically taking two mugs from the kitchen cupboard regardless. A glance tells him that Levi’s back looking at his phone, his face twisted in a grimace.

“Yeah, but first, please tell me why so many people are asking me to step on them? What the hell am I supposed to say to that?”

Eren just laughs loudly and ignores the annoyed glare he receives in return.

+++

Connie came by to drop off a grumpy Kaya in the early afternoon, who hadn’t been too keen on being pawed off to Eren and clung ferociously to her father in an attempt to avoid being held by the uncomfortable, tall man reaching out for her.

That was until Levi had appeared suddenly, and then she was practically fighting Connie to be traded off to her favourite Uncle, who gladly wrapped her in a tight hug, resting her weight effortlessly in one arm as he took her overnight bag filled with formula, extra clothes and diapers from the chuckling bald man, who nudged a sullen Eren with his elbow.

“Aww don’t pout Eren, you know she loves Auntie Rogue, she just can’t tell that you’re the same person yet. Give her some time and you won’t be able to get rid of her, trust me, I miss the good ole days when she only wanted Sasha!” Connie laughed good-naturedly, slapping Eren on the shoulder and leaning over to give his daughter a kiss on the cheek before leaving with a reminder they could call any time and a wave.

A couple hours later, Eren returns to the living room after going to his room for a little while, to find Levi sitting on their comfortable arm chair with Kaya on his lap, reading through a children’s picture book on animals, the latter giggling loudly when Levi does the sound of a horse for her. He smiles at the sight and leans on the frame of the doorway, watching them for a little while longer before speaking.

“You telling her stories about Uncle Jean, Levi?” Eren says, grinning and folding his arms as he raises an eyebrow.

“You really need to stop with the horse jokes, kid. He’s gonna hear you one of these days and I’ll have to stop him from attacking you, I’d rather not deal with that clean up, you’d need to give me a raise. And…. are you wearing make-up?” Levi asks suddenly, squinting with his reading glasses on to get a good look at Eren’s face. Eren ducks his head self-consciously, turning away to face the other direction in an attempt to hide himself.

“So, what if I am? It’s hardly new for me.” Eren says petulantly, scratching the back of his neck and turning back around to watch Kaya as the child chews on the corner of her book in disinterest.

“Yeah, but you’ve straightened your hair too, and you hardly ever wear make up unless you’re working, you’re wearing eyeliner today and…. is that lipgloss?” Levi asks, trying not to stare at the shiny, cherry coloured, pillow lips. It’s just because Rogue wears that shade, he swears by it.

“What’s the big deal? I just wanna look nice….” Eren protests, and Levi is hit with realisation.

“Eren, have you gotten all dolled up and put make up on because…. you want Kaya to recognise you as Rogue?” Levi questions with a smirk, and Eren huffs, shoulders drooping.

“It’s not fair! She’s my niece too and won’t come anywhere near me! I thought maybe if I looked more feminine today, she might see a resemblance…. I know it’s real stupid and you can laugh at me all you want, but I actually thought it might work.” He says, looking at Levi uncomfortably.

“I’m not laughing at you idiot, I just didn’t realise it bothered you so much. Come over here and see her, she’s only little, she won’t bite much.” Levi sighs and shakes his head in amused exasperation, patting a tiny patch of space next to him on the arm chair. Eren strops for a few more seconds before plopping himself down next to them both.

There isn’t a hell of a lot of room on the chair, as expected, so their legs have to intertwine a little to allow them both to sit comfortably. They could easily move to the larger sofa, but Kaya is staring at Eren with wide, curious eyes and the last thing he wants to do is spook her right now by moving her around too much.

Eren matches Kaya’s inquisitive stare for a few minutes before she carefully manoeuvres herself from Levi’s lap and puts a tentative hand on Eren’s leg, not quite decided if she intends to crawl on him or not. With a brave resolve and a look to Levi for encouragement, she crawls slowly away from him and on to Eren, her tiny fists grabbing his T shirt as he grins, lifting her the rest of the way and placing her against his chest, her feet flat on his thighs as he holds her in a standing position.

Kaya garbles playfully as she puts her hands all over Eren’s face, screeching and knees bouncing as he laughs at her sudden enthusiasm. Levi watches the pair in amusement, smiling a little as Eren plays around with Kaya, his maturity shining through as he handles her with the utmost care and looks at her like she’s the most important person in the world.

He can’t help but stare at them longingly, for so long that’s all he’s wanted, to be able to hold and look at a child of his own like that, treating them like the little prince/princess they’d no doubt be to him. Suddenly, Eren is grinning at him happily, his eyes glittering like the most precious gemstones and his breath catches a little….and then the smell hits them both.

“Oh Kaya! That’s just lovely.” Eren complains, lifting the little girl up and holding her at arm’s length, “I think somebody needs their diaper changed and quickly! I’ll just pass you back to Uncle Levi.”

Eren hands Kaya off to a dumbfounded Levi, sitting up from the couch and making to leave the room, “Wait, why are you giving her to me?” He asks, as Kaya begins whining in discomfort.

“Well, this seems like it’s more your thing anyway, you like clean stuff. Clean away! Besides, I have to set up my room for the video today.” Eren calls, as he heads out of the living area and towards his bedroom.

“Oh, I see how it is! You’re only interested until it comes to the dirty work, I’ll remember that!” Levi says, yelling after him and grabbing Kaya’s bag of fresh diapers.

+++

Filming Eren’s palette announcement video had been quite the event, to put it lightly.

The announcement itself had only taken several minutes and a little bit of demonstration on Eren’s part to show the features of it and a brief explanation on how to use it. He promised to do a full tutorial in another video before he and Levi eventually went on tour to promote it.

This then led to the revelation that Levi, in addition to being Eren’s roommate and friend, is also working as personal security for Eren as he begins his career with Sina Enterprises. Levi was then invited to join for the rest of the video with Kaya, who Levi learns has also made a couple of appearances on Eren’s channel with Rogue before, and he was treated to the sight of Kaya getting to put make-up all over Eren’s face to make him to look “pretty”. She then turned to Levi with a bright red lipstick and a grin, Eren’s booming laugh telling him he was screwed.

It’s near Kaya’s bedtime when Eren comes over to the couch Levi is sitting on and begins cleaning him off with a wet wipe.

“That better not be the same one you used to clean Kaya’s butt or I will end your life slowly and painfully, brat.” Levi threatens, yet not making the effort to stop a giggling Eren.

“Relax, it’s a fresh one, thought you could use a scrub down and you’ve been wearing it long enough now, I’m sure she won’t mind.” Eren says, indicating Kaya, who is now on the floor, yapping away and cuddling up to the giant purple hippo that Levi had gifted her with.

“Hmph, I guess not. You did well with her today, Eren. Never seen her that comfortable around you before and you managed to change your first diaper, you should be proud of yourself.” Levi says sincerely, watching Kaya as she begins to yawn before turning to face Eren, who has become red faced and bashful at the compliment.

“Thanks, but I don’t think I’ll be in a rush to do that again any time soon.”

“Clearly, I thought you were gonna pass out for a minute.”

“And you would have let me?!” Eren teases in mock offence, hand placed over his chest for dramatic effect.

“We had a smelling salt right there, you would have been fine.” Levi jokes, batting Eren lightly with his foot.

“And you call me disgusting.”

“You are disgusting.” Levi insists, supressing laugh at Eren’s scowl.

+++

“Do you ever think about it?” Eren asks suddenly out of nowhere, breaking Levi’s trance of watching Kaya drift in and out of sleep against her toys.

“Ever think about what?”

“Having children of your own one day? I know you said before that you wanted them, but have you ever actually considered it?” Eren elaborates, looking at Levi from across the couch with an odd look on his face.

“Of course, I have.” Levi responds, inspecting his hands as he answers, “I’ve thought about it a lot actually. I’m not getting any younger and the longer it is, the more I come to terms with things.”

“Come to terms with what?” Eren asks curiously, unconsciously shifting closer to the man next to him.

“I want to have a baby, but there’s a good chance that it may never happen for me.” Levi explains, a look of sadness lingering in his eyes as he locks his gaze with Eren.

“What are you talking about Levi?! You have plenty of time to have children. If this is about you being a virgin or not finding the right person then you’re not thinking of all the options that you do have. You could adopt? Or find a surrogate mother?” Eren suggests, tentatively placing a hand on Levi’s slim shoulder, he can still feel the muscle through the woollen fabric of his sweater.

“Not many adoption agencies like the idea of a single man with a sordid past and a full-time job with unsociable hours adopting a baby by himself, believe me, I’ve checked. Thoroughly.” Levi responds miserably, “Before Alice took me in, I was between homes and still in contact with my Uncle, even when I began living with her and Isabel I was trying to impress him, doing shady work and acting like the “real man” I knew he wanted me to be. Did things I’m not proud of Eren, and I can never go back and change that, you of all people know how something like that can feel.”

“Yeah, I know.” Eren says, “But your past doesn’t make you a bad person, you told me that yourself.”

“I know, but that doesn’t change things in the eyes of society. Single men have a hard enough time of adopting as it is, never mind someone with my kind of record or career history. I have no chance of being chosen, my rejection notices to several different agencies have proven that.”

“Oh Levi, I’m so sorry.” Eren soothes, rubbing little circles into Levi’s shoulders and back gently, “What about surrogacy? I know it can be expensive, but it would be so worth it if it worked out for you, isn’t it worth a try?”

“I’ve considered it before, Hange offered for me years ago, but then she got sick. Ovarian cancer, ridiculous considering her aversion to sex in general, but I guess that’s just life. She doesn’t like to talk about it, and I don’t blame her, we almost lost her then but she’s a fighter. Unfortunately, it took away her ability to have children. She and Moblit are fine though, they got through it and made their peace with the fact they wouldn’t be parents, but they do have enough animals to have a massive petting zoo.”

“I’m sorry that happened to her, that must have been terrible, for all of you.” Eren remarks, looking a little white and slightly in shock, “What if you found somebody else? Maybe it would be easier if the mother was a stranger? Less attachment that way.”

“I don’t think I could do that. I always need to have a sense of…. control in my life. I can barely go out to eat in restaurants without knowing who’s handled the food and for how long without having a nervous breakdown, never mind not knowing full history and background of the woman who’d be carrying my child. I’m messed up in the head, it’s actually probably better this way, can’t taint a pure, innocent life with my bullshit.” Levi says finally, pulling away from Eren to straighten up and continue watching Kaya with stony resolve.

“Don’t say that, don’t you ever say that! You would make an amazing father, aside from my own dad I have never met anybody more deserving of the title. You deserve the right to have children, because any child would be lucky to have you as their parent. I’ve heard the way you’ve spoken about those kids you looked after all those years ago, I’ve seen the way you are with Kaya, hell the way you are with me! You’ll be the best dad a kid could ask for, I just know it.” Eren declares proudly, and Levi suddenly wants to cry, instead inhales a deep breath and leans into Eren’s touch once more.

“Regardless, not much chance of me meeting someone and having rugrats now. It feels a little too late, in my head at least. I’ve only ever been in two relationships, one ending because we couldn’t stand living together and she didn’t want sex at all, the other because it’s all she wanted, I wouldn’t give her that, and I wasn’t man enough for her or whatever. Not exactly the best experiences for someone looking to settle down and have a family, when I haven’t even been intimate with anybody ever.” Levi states casually.

“There’s a first time for everything.” Eren teases, “And who said you weren’t man enough? Your Ex? I don’t think you’ve ever told me about her, you’ve only ever spoken about Hange.”

Levi nods, “Do you remember the college student I told you that I moved in with when I was still in the military? Her name was Rico, we shared an apartment for around half a year before we got together romantically, I was always away for work and she was usually out for classes or study sessions, so it was a while before we started anything. She was…. unintended, but she was strong willed and sensible, I liked that about her. We went out on dates or watched movies at home, made dinner together and things were good, at first. We even spoke about the possibility of having a family together.”

“Wow, it must have been pretty serious for you guys then?” Eren remarks, and Levi shakes his head.

“It seemed so at the time, but we weren’t together all that long, about 7 or 8 months. But I…. tried rushing to the end, I guess. Had somebody tell me how much she loved me, how she’d fallen for me not long after we met and that she wanted to build a life with me. I was so used to seeing death and destruction all around me, and Isabel was starting her own life with Farlan, I guess I got a little caught up in the illusion. I liked her enough, but I didn’t love her all that much, I thought I did mind you, but my body told me what I needed to know in the end.”

“You couldn’t make love to her?” Eren asks shyly, and Levi smirks in amusement at the redness covering Eren's cheeks.

“No, I couldn’t. I did try, but there was no feeling, no drive to do so. I just didn’t want it, I was happy with the way things were. After a while, Rico started getting incredibly frustrated with me, would tell me how a real man wouldn’t allow his woman to have to please herself, how many other guys were begging her to go home with them and how I was the only thing stopping her, but that her patience was wearing thin.”

“That’s terrible! If she’d loved you half as much as she said she did, she’d be patient with you, she’d let you take things at your pace and not try to pressure you into something you were so clearly uncomfortable with. I hate this woman already and I haven’t even met her.” Eren says angrily.

“Well, you’re not gonna like what’s coming.” Levi mutters under his breath, “I came back home from a tour of Mombasa, don’t ask, but I had been gone for nearly three weeks and found her in bed with a guy from her class. A guy she’d specifically told me not to worry about. I kicked the guy’s ass and threw him out of the apartment. She didn’t even apologise, said she was done waiting for me to tend to her needs, and that she found someone who was willing to treat her right. She did however, generously offer to stay in a relationship with me as long as I was able to accept that she’d be going to him for sex until I could ‘man up’ and do it myself. Needless to say, I packed my bags and crashed on Erwin’s couch until I found a new place.”

“That bitch!” Eren exclaims, covering his mouth and looking over worriedly at Kaya, who is startled by the noise, but continues playing with her toys without a care for her uncle’s use of language. Eren begins speaking again once he’s satisfied his niece is otherwise occupied.

“I can’t believe she did that to you Levi! I swear, if I ever have the misfortune of meeting her in person, you’re gonna have to hold my earrings. But I am glad you felt like you could talk to me about that, I don’t like the idea of you bottling things up like this, especially things that can make you feel less than perfect in yourself. I don’t want you closing yourself off from me. I care about you so much, you’re such a good friend to me, I want you to know that you can always tell me anything.”

Levi considers this for a moment, pauses for half a beat and resolves to take Eren’s advice. Leaning closer into his friend and ensuring he has a good view of Eren’s face before he says the words he’d only ever said to one other person in his life.

“You know, I used to want to be a woman so badly” Levi says, watching for Eren’s reaction at his words and checking that Kaya isn’t listening in.

“I was so envious of them, the way they could walk around without a care in the world, not having to prove themselves to everyone all the time. Or so I thought at least, I was young, a moron and never had a positive female influence until it was far too late.

I wanted to be a woman more than anything, for many reasons which I won’t bore you with, but mainly so that I could have my own children on my terms. I could just go to a sperm bank, be able to go into an adoption agency without all the condescending glares or force myself to open my legs for someone if it came down to it, not caring about the need for a life partner or relying on one to give me a child. There was a time I used to think about it more than I thought about anything else. I can only imagine what my uncle would have said or did if he found out what was going on in my head.” Levi lets out a rueful laugh and Eren is once again left in awe of him.

“Levi….” Eren begins, voice barely a whisper, “…. Thank you for telling me that. I know that can’t have been easy for you to say.”

Levi simply shrugs, and Eren just wants to pull him into the tightest hug, but he refrains knowing Levi is a flight risk, and may never open up like this again if he thinks Eren is pitying or patronising him in any way. But they do share a look, a meaningful look that subtly says “tell me all about you, you can tell me anything, it won’t change how I feel about you.”

As Kaya begins lolling her head back and forward in slumber, Levi sees his cue to change the topic to something lighter and put the child to bed, poor thing must be exhausted.

“I better put Sleeping Beauty over there in her crib so she doesn’t hurt herself.” He says, as he attempts to stand, but Eren beats him to it.

“Let me, her crib is in my room anyway, you can make us something to eat though. I’m starved.” Eren insists, rubbing his stomach pitifully.

Levi nods and makes his way towards the kitchen, grabbing the baby monitor as Eren picks up Kaya and carries her to his bedroom. She snuggles into him in her sleep, and Eren has to suppress his delighted grin at having the little girl show him this much affection. He’d been rather self-conscious that she would grow to dislike him, it had bothered him a little more than it probably should, but his fears have been proven wrong and he revels in the moment a little longer before he settles her in bed.

She is sleeping ever so soundly as he lays her down in the crib, placing her favourite stuffed animal from under his arm next to her and gently caressing her chubby cheeks. He speaks softly to her for a little while before he leaves.

“Please don’t grow up too fast, little one. Just stay this way for a little while longer, where it’s safe and you’re protected, always. You’re so loved Kaya Springer, by so many people and you don’t even realise it yet. Your Mommy and Daddy love you, your Grandparents, Uncle Jean, Marco, Armin and Reiner, Auntie Mika, Annie, Historia and Ymir. I love you too sweetheart, and I think it goes without saying that Uncle Levi loves you more than anything in the world.” Eren says with a giggle as the child stirs happily in her crib.

“But you already know that, don’t you? Have that man wrapped around your little finger. He fell in love with you the moment he laid eyes on you, and I think you did too. I think you knew instinctively that he was going to protect you, take care of you, treat you like gold and show you just how much he thinks you deserve it. I think you knew how amazing he was just by looking into his eyes once, and once you’d looked into those eyes, you knew there was no going back, that’s he etched his way into you life and into your heart, and now you wouldn’t have it any other way.” Eren smiles warmly.

“You’re just like me that way, kiddo, we’re not all that different you know? There’s just one big difference. You look at him with all the love and affection in your heart, and he gives it right back to you tenfold. What I wouldn’t give for that…. but I guess it’s just the way it has to be. And that’s okay, but just promise me one thing sweetie, no matter how old you get, never forget how much everybody loves you. And we’ll never let you forget it either.”

Kaya begins to snore peacefully, before she can hear the end of Eren’s monologue.

+++

Unbeknownst to Eren, however, his speech hadn’t been completely unheard.

As Levi continues stirring the spaghetti sauce in the large pan over the stove, he’s left in an almost trance-like state of shock as he registers the words coming through on the baby monitor.

He sets the spoon aside, turns off the heat of the stove and rests his hands either side of the kitchen workspace. He bows his head and sighs deeply, panic beginning to set in as his breathing becomes laboured and he can’t think of how to even respond to the conundrum he’s been faced with. Eren will be heading back out in a matter of seconds, and he doesn't know what he's gonna be faced with when he does.

What he does know however, is that he’s gotta think of what the hell he’s gonna do about it, and fast.

Chapter Text

Chapter 24

Levi feels Eren emerge from his bedroom before he sees him, the younger man coming up behind him and resting his chin on Levi’s shoulder as he cooks. Levi chews his lip hard, willing away the word vomit threatening overspill at any second.

“That smells delicious.” Eren sighs longingly, “I think you’re in the wrong profession.”

“Tch, considering you burn rice, it’s no surprise my average cooking skills are impressive to you brat.”

“Hey, unlike some people I’m still young, plenty of time to become a perfect little housewife.” Eren states petulantly, attempting to steal blocks of cheese from the chopping board on the kitchen counter.

“Keep your filthy hands off and get the fuck out!” Levi scolds him, lightly smacking his hand away and shoving him in the direction of the living room. Eren laughs heartily and plops himself down on the couch.

Eren ends up watching some horror TV show that makes him yelp loudly every so often until Levi finishes up in the kitchen, handing him his plate of food before taking a seat on the armchair opposite. Eren quirks an eyebrow at Levi questioningly.

“What are you doing all the way over there? You always sit here, and you need to come and protect me!” Eren says around a mouthful of spaghetti, Levi rolls his eyes.

“I’m fine here. If it’s scaring you so much just watch something else, dumbass.” Levi retorts with no real bite, his head a million miles away as Eren whimpers at a particularly disgusting gore scene playing on the screen.

As he absentmindedly plays around with the strands of spaghetti on his plate, Levi replays Eren’s earlier, secret words in his head over and over on a loop.

I think you knew how amazing he was just by looking into his eyes once…

He’s etched his way into your life and into your heart, and now you wouldn’t have it any other way…

You look at him with all the love and affection in your heart, and he gives it right back to you tenfold. What I wouldn’t give for that…

Is there any way this could all just be a big misunderstanding? Maybe Eren’s misplaced hero worship is what’s caused him to say all those things? Or that could be his way of expressing platonic affection? Eren constantly calls him honey, handsome and sweetheart…. but it’s not, it’s Rogue that always calls him those things….

There’s just no way around it, no denying it, and no more making excuses either. Eren has feelings for him….and that thought alone terrifies him. Terrifies him…. because the idea itself is not all that terrifying.

“Levi!!!” Eren screeches, kicking the coffee table hard in the process of flailing around after the most recent jump scare manages to frighten the life out of him, “Oww!!! Stupid. Fucking. Table!”

“Jesus Eren, give me a fucking heart attack why don’t you?!” Levi exclaims, laying his plate on the table and putting a hand on his chest, glowering at the boy in the process.

“Who cares about that?! I think I’m bleeding, damn that hurt like a bitch!” Eren complains, clutching at his right ankle and wincing in pain. Levi sighs and leaves to get the first aid kit from their shared bathroom.

Once he retrieves it, he sits on the couch, gently grabs Eren’s ankle and lays his leg over both of his own. After rolling down Eren’s sock enough to see where he’s been hurt, he wipes away the blood running freely from the small wound and sticks a band-aid in place.

“You’re such an idiot, should leave you to bleed out and die alone.” Levi grumbles as he pats Eren’s knee and begins packing away the remaining contents of the first aid bag.

“Yeah, but you’d miss me if you did that.” Eren teases with a grin, “We’re gonna need more band-aids soon.”

“That’s your own fault, I must have patched you up at least thirty times by now.” Levi says pointedly.

“So, I’m a little clumsy, shoot me. And besides, you’ve needed my help a couple times.” Eren argues, kicking Levi in the side with his uninjured foot. Levi simply lifts the leg as he stands, placing it softly back on the couch as he takes the almost empty plates back to the kitchen for washing.

“You put one band-aid on me, one time, after I cut myself chopping when you were distracting me no less. Not exactly the same thing now is it?” Levi asks sarcastically as he throws the left-over food in the trash, beginning to clean their used dishes and Kaya’s empty baby bottles. Eren hobbles into the kitchen after him to pour himself a drink.

“We can’t all be ‘medically trained’ now can we Levi? You have to admit it does come in handy.”

“Can’t imagine what you ever did without me, brat.” Levi remarks as he looks over at Eren, who’s watching him with an odd expression on his face, hearts practically dancing in his vibrant eyes.

“Neither can I.”

The air begins to become thick again, as Eren’s stare threatens to knock the wind out of Levi, he almost smashes the plate he’s been scrubbing to an inch of its life. He steadies himself before he sets it down, before grabbing a dishtowel to begin drying it.

Eren moves closer and pinches the towel out of Levi’s grasp, “Here, let me. You wash and I’ll dry.”

Levi nods and they fall into a routine together, Eren making the odd casual mark here and there about Kaya or their plans for the next few days, Eren isn’t due to go back into the club until the next Saturday and it’s one of Eren’s last performances before he announces his resignation as a regular at Maria’s. It’s also the time of the month were visiting queens come to perform too, and Levi knows Eren is nervous after the cocaine incident last time, even if he won’t admit it himself. But rest assured, Eren will not be made to feel cornered and uncomfortable like that again, Levi will make sure of it.

“Hey! You’re splashing me!” Eren complains, swatting Levi’s wrist and giggling cheerfully. In truth, Levi hadn’t even realised he was doing it, but he smirks playfully in Eren’s direction anyway, continuing his task without a word.

When Levi’s almost finished up with the final dish, Eren points to the hem of his T-shirt.

“Levi, you’ve soaked yourself, and you have sauce all over your shirt, it needs to be washed. Lift your arms up.” Eren demands, already clutching the bottom of Levi’s soft, grey T-shirt, biting his lip as he pulls the fabric over the older man’s head.

Levi fights the action for a couple of seconds only before allowing the shirt to be removed from his body, leaving him bare chested with Goosebumps rising and littering his snowy pale skin, whether they’re from the cold or Eren’s hungry gaze, Levi can’t quite tell.

“It’s cold….” Levi attempts, his voice barely a whisper, and Eren stifles a soft titter.

“It’s about 80 degrees in here.”

“Still….” Levi trails off, watching as Eren scans him up and down, mismatched eyes running wild over the hard muscles and soft texture of Levi’s body, breath hitching every so often as he finds a new place to admire. Levi awkwardly clears his throat to bring Eren’s attention back to his face, uncertain on whether his expression shows the indifference he’s trying desperately to convey.

Eren gives him a shy smile, and tentatively brings his hands up, slowly moving his long fingers towards Levi’s slim waist. At the lack of protest from the man himself, Eren takes this as his cue to place both hands on him, his touch featherlight and cool.

“You’ve put on a little weight recently.” Eren comments softly, “You’re not as thin as you used to be.”

“Been eating good, you give me a reason to cook every night. Not to mention Marco and Sasha trying to fatten me up as well.” Levi says with a hint of amusement, trying tremendously not to stutter as Eren’s touch burns his bare skin from the inside out.

“Don’t get me wrong, you’re definitely not getting fat, not by any stretch of the word. But you’re definitely filling out.” Eren remarks, shakily running his fingers from Levi’s waist, across the expanse of his rock-hard abs and up before laying his palms flat on defined pecs, “Especially here.”

Levi is sure Eren can feel his heart hammering in his chest at this point, but he can’t bring himself to care, instead finding himself enamoured at the sight of Eren’s tiny pink tongue peaking out from the corner of his lips and long eyelashes fluttering open and closed, giving the younger man an almost inebriated look. It’s raw, meant for Levi’s eyes only, and it’s exciting.

They stand together in the kitchen, in complete silence, the only sounds coming from the forgotten TV show in the living room, the ticking of the clock on the wall of the kitchen and their deep, heavy breaths that keep them grounded to the spot. Neither of them knows what time it is, neither of them caring enough to look away and check. But the sun that had been hanging high in the sky all day, has long since disappeared into a starlit sky.

With a steadying breath and sheer determination, Eren begins rubbing his fingers in little circles over Levi’s chest, the skin prickling in his wake, leaving Levi involuntarily shivering at the contact, his eyes blown wide like saucers as Eren moves and runs the pads of fingers over his pebbled nipples.

Levi lets out a pained sound somewhere between a gasp and a whimper. Eren catches his blushing red face in one of his palms and tilts his chin up so their eyes lock and breaths mingle.

“Levi.”

“Eren.”

“Tell me to stop…. tell me to apologise.” Eren whispers and leans in close as Levi lets his eyes flutter shut….

And the shrill screeching coming through on the baby monitor makes them snap back to their senses and spring apart faster than lightning. Eren almost slips and falls on the floor in his haste to get away, only catching himself by grabbing on to the kitchen counter just in the nick of time.

“Kaya!” Eren all but shouts, “Kaya’s here! She’ll need fed…. or changed…. or burped. So, um, yeah…. I’ll go do that now…. where’s her bag? Have you seen her bag? No, because it’s in my room…. I’ll get it…. okay, I guess I’ll see you tomorrow…. or today, whatever…. Goodnight!”

And as quick as the moment occurred, it’s gone as Eren shuts his bedroom door with a still screaming Kaya on the inside. Levi has half a mind to follow him but decides against it as he hears the boy coo away to the baby in the safety of his room. For the second time tonight, Levi is left all alone and wondering what the hell he’s going to do.

Around thirty minutes later, Levi knows exactly what to do, knows he should have done it a long time ago, before tonight, before he divulged the details of his past to Eren, before he started looking at Rogue in a more than friendly sense, before he agreed to move in or be a friend, before he began feeling his entire world changing. He picks up his cellphone, and searches for the number he needs before hitting the call button. The phone rings twice before the person on the other end answers, and Levi begins speaking.

“It’s me…. Can you come to Shiganshina as soon as physically possible?.... No, nothing like that, I just have to discuss something with you…. it is important but it really should be face to face…. Next Saturday? It’ll take that long?.... No, I understand, I’ll see you then…. Bye.”

+++

“You two almost KISSED?! And you waited a full damn week to tell us!” Mikasa exclaims, gesturing between herself and Armin who, to his credit, looks far less surprised by the revelation than his adoptive sister does.

“It’s not like I was keeping it a secret, I just didn’t know what to say about it or how you’d handle it for that matter. It’s not that long ago you wanted his guts for garters, Mika.” Eren says pointedly, tilting his head to emphasise his point as Mikasa shrugs.

“Well, he deserved it back then. And don’t think you’re getting out of this Eren! Have you told Mom yet?”

“Told Mom what?! There’s nothing to tell! We had a weird moment in the kitchen last week, I lost my cool, felt him up a little and tried to kiss him, but we got interrupted. Nothing more.” Eren insists, and Armin wrinkles his nose.

“Did you really have to mention that you felt him up? He’s still my Ex-Boss, you know?” Armin complains, sipping on the cup of coffee Eren had made for him upon arrival.

“Hey, I’ve had to hear all about your wild sexcapades with Annie enough times. I would have preferred not to hear about all of those.” Eren remarks.

“I second that.” Mikasa adds with a grimace, to which Armin rolls his eyes and responds, “Back to the original point, where does that leave you two now?”

Eren has to really think before he can answer the question, because if he tells the truth, Mikasa will worry and warn him to be wary. But if he lies, Armin will see right through him and demand the truthful answer anyway.

“I don’t know.” He answers honestly, “Nothing has really happened since then, in fact we’ve barely talked really. He drives me to where I need to go, gives me updates on my schedule from Annie and eats with me at night before going to bed. Other than that, nothing has changed, and I’m not sure what that means.”

“Look Eren, maybe it doesn’t mean anything, but it could also mean that he doesn’t necessarily want anything to change.” Mikasa reasons, “You two are friends, right? And from what I’ve heard, Levi doesn’t make friends easily, it’s a big step for him. A big step that he’s willing taken and now, now you almost kiss him. That’s a lot in a very short space of time. Maybe it’s too much for him.”

“Not necessarily.” Armin interjects, “I won’t pretend to know what’s going on in Levi’s head, but I have known him for a while, and at his worst too. You know what he’s been through as well as I do, and how scary something like this will have been for him. But, I’ve also seen the way you two are together, I noticed it as soon as I arrived home. I’ve never seen him so open with somebody before, he was never that way with me, the squad or even Hange from what I remember. I think you’re special to him.”

“You can’t just say things like that Arm! God, now I’m even more confused.” Eren complains, banging his head against the dining table the trio are sitting at, over and over again.

“Stop that!” Mikasa warns, “Sit up for a second.”

Eren reluctantly obliges and stares forlornly into his quickly emptying coffee mug.

“Eren, nobody can tell you what you want or what to do, and I’m guessing that even if we did you would just ignore us anyway.” Mikasa says with a smile, “So, don’t be getting caught up in what we think, you have to do what you want to do. What do you really want to do?”

“Whatever you decide, we’ll support you.” Armin confirms, placing a pale gentle hand on his best friend’s tanned one. Eren takes a deep breath before raising his head.

“I want to kiss him. I want to kiss him properly and I want him to be mine. I should tell him, I have to tell him.” Eren says, nodding to himself determinedly and squeezing Armin’s hand as his friend smiles warmly back at him.

“Then what are you waiting for? Go and tell him!” Armin urges, but Eren shakes his head.

“No, I have to do this right, it has to be done properly. I’ll tell him tonight, later, when we get back home from the club. I don’t want to corner him, but I want him to be comfortable. But I will do it tonight, I have to. I promise I will. Wish me luck!”

They do, and the three of them share a warm group hug, not unlike the ones they used to have growing up together as children before pulling apart but still sitting huddled close together.

“Now, enough about me.” Eren says suddenly, “So tell us Mikasa, did you and Erwin bump uglies after your date?”

“EREN!!!”

+++

In a little yet busy café, half way across town, Levi sits in a booth and waits for his companion to arrive.

He’s already blasted through one black cup of coffee and is debating whether or not to request another before the glass door swings open and the bell dings, signalling the arrival of another customer.

A large hand is raised in greeting towards Levi before the man makes his way over and manoeuvres himself into the booth, and into the seat directly across from where Levi is sitting, rigid and stone-faced.

“Erwin.” Levi greets coldly, “You’re late. We said 1pm, Eren needs to be at the club for 4.”

“My apologies, my flight was delayed, and traffic was worse than expected.” Erwin apologises, removing his jacket and placing on the seat next to him.

He’s about to say something else, however a young waitress comes to their table and takes their orders, another black coffee for Levi and a Latte for Erwin with extra milk and 3 sugars (Levi has to wrinkle his nose in distate at the notion of such sweet coffee) and comes back with them a few minutes later as the men idly chatter until she leaves them be.

“Now Levi, what was so urgent and required my attention, but couldn’t be said over the phone?” Erwin asks, thick eyebrows raised in question as he stirs sugar into his coffee with his good hand.

“I’m not going to beat around the bush Erwin, it’s about my contract.” Levi confirms, “I want out.”

Erwin is silent for a beat, “I see, and why would that be?”

“Cut the shit Erwin, I shouldn’t need some bullshit reason or permission slip to get out of a job, we’ve been through this enough times at this point. The job isn’t working out for me anymore, and I want out. That’s the whole of it.” Levi folds his arms petulantly and looks to Erwin expectantly.

“Wow Levi, you know what? I expected much better than this from you.” Erwin says, shaking his head and eyes downcast to the table.

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“You know exactly what it’s supposed to mean, Levi. You’re so frightened of your own feelings, you’re running away from them. I thought you were better than that.”

“What the fuck are you talking about shitbrows?!”

“You’re the one who needs to cut the shit, Levi. You know fine well that I’m talking about Eren.” Levi freezes, “Yeah, it doesn’t take a genius to see that there’s something between the two of you, and I’m not talking about puppy love or a misplaced crush on the kid’s part. I know you Levi, and I know when you’re cutting off your nose to spite your face. I’ve sat and watched you do it before, said nothing and let you do what you’re gonna do because you’re too pigheaded to listen to anybody around you. But not this time, I’m not going to just sit here and watch you throw away what could potentially be the best thing that’s ever happened to you.”

“And what do you know Erwin, huh?! You ran away from the only woman you’ve ever loved in your life because she wanted to marry you!”

“And I regret that decision every single day of my life! Look what happened Levi, she met somebody else, somebody willing to give her everything she deserved in life. And me? I’m alone at 36 years old, no children, no legacy and nobody to grow old with. I don’t want to see that happen to you, Levi.”

“That’s for me to decide, you bastard! This is my life, and friend or not, you don’t get to tell me how to live it. I don’t have feelings for Eren. Sure, I found Rogue attractive in a purely physical sense and I was fond of her, maybe a little too fond and that’s on me, but the kid’s gotten the wrong idea and it’s making me uncomfortable, so I need to get out before he gets hurt. That’s all this is.” Levi insists, unsure at this point of who he’s trying to convince, himself or Erwin.

Erwin sighs, “Okay Levi, you keep telling yourself that, whatever helps you sleep at night. I’ll file the paperwork for you when I get back to Trost, but for now, I’m going to see Mikasa and you have to tell Eren yourself. After all this time, you owe him that much at least.”

Levi considers arguing the point but decides against it when he sees the unwavering look Erwin is fixing him with.

“Fine, I’ll tell him myself. When are you going back to Trost?” Levi asks curiously.

“Tomorrow night, I’ll be back in the office Monday morning. If you change your mind, you know my number and where to find me.” Erwin says as he stands and begins shrugging on his jacket.

“I won’t, but thank you Erwin.” Levi says honestly, “I really appreciate this.”

“I just hope that you know what you’re doing. When are you going to tell him?” Erwin asks, looking just as solemn and stone-faced as Levi had when he arrived.

“Tonight, I’ll tell him tonight when we get home. He should be somewhere he feels comfortable when I break the news.” Levi confirms, before staring sadly down at his phone, at the stupid wallpaper he set a number of weeks back.

The picture of Eren grinning madly at the camera, arm slung around Levi’s shoulder as he himself looked on at the boy with disdain, the smallest hint of a smirk painting his lips.

Chapter Text

Chapter 25

Levi arrives home from the Café around an hour later, after taking the time to drive aimlessly around until he really had to start thinking about heading back.

“Eren!” Levi calls, “You home?”

“Yeah I’m in here! Just give me a minute!” Eren shouts back, the noise coming from the direction of his bedroom.

As he waits, Levi slips out of his thick, woollen cardigan and scarf, setting them on the coffee table to be put away later. The weather is starting to become a lot cooler now it’s hit September and while it’s not quite Trost winter levels of cold, Levi would never pass up the opportunity to start adorning his favourite knitwear.

Whilst doing so, Eren (or Rogue in this instance), enters the living room in what can only be described, in Levi’s mind, as underwear. She has her blonde wig styled in a low ponytail at the back of her head, a pair of demin shorts, black tights with holes all over and a lacy, red bralette with a floral pattern interwoven through it. The lack of make-up, however, makes it very hard to differentiate between Eren and his alter-ego.

Levi is caught off guard and is stunned silent for a few beats, Eren/Rogue normally take extra care to remain somewhat fully dressed when around Levi, so the sudden display of blemish-free caramel skin and flawlessly toned muscle is a bit of a shock to the system to say the least. Eren/Rogue is no stranger to joining Levi at the gym or for his morning run on occasion, so while they’re slim and not quite as sculpted or ripped as Levi himself, their overall body definition is nothing to be scoffed at either.

He’s just begun to admire the sleek, attractive curve of their waist line, a perfect hourglass shape achieved from years of training and cinching for shows, when the Eren/Rogue hybrid starts talking to him and he feels the need to pay attention.

“Hey, I think your last box of stuff was delivered today, I put it in your room.” They say, blowing a loose strand of blonde hair out of their face and placing it behind their ear.

Fantastic, Levi thinks. He’ll just have to pack it all back up and ship it right on back to Trost in no time at all. Maybe it’ll be another four months before he has his stuff all in one place again.

“Right, thank you.” Levi says, “Is that what you’re wearing tonight? Bit on the casual side for you isn’t it?”

“Don’t you judge me, I look fabulous in anything.” Eren/Rogue answer with a smirk, “But if you must know, I left my outfit at Maria’s, I’ll change when I get there. I just wanted to be comfortable and tuck at home in peace before the club is overrun tonight.”

The last thing Levi needs to be thinking about right now is Eren manhandling his junk into place, but the image is now ingrained into his mind before he can stop it. The first time the process of tucking had been explained to him was painful enough, but in hindsight that was also probably due to a drunken Jean and Connie trying to strip down and try it out for themselves.

“Overrun? I know they’re a lot, but surely the other queens will give you some space if you asked them to.”

“No, not by them. Did you not get my message earlier?”

Levi shakes his head in confusion as Eren/Rogue begin tapping away on their phone before bringing up their own Twitter feed and showing it to him.

“It’s been going crazy all day. Since my announcement last week about joining Sina, people have been commenting in their thousands on it and spamming my feed. Marco called earlier to say every table in the club has been booked out for tonight, full capacity expected. I never talk about performing at Maria’s specifically in my videos or on public social media, so somehow it’s gotten out. Not that I’m complaining, I mean it’s great business for Marco and Jean, it’s just…. not how I wanted to go, y’know?” Eren/Rogue says sadly, and Levi nods, because he does know.

He knows how much Rogue would have loved performing her last shows at Maria’s for her regulars, close friends and family only. But now that the cat is out of the bag, who even knows if the many men, women and everyone in between that’s fully supported her career for the last two years will even get to see her again on that stage to take her final bow? It’s an unexpected blow.

“Can’t be helped I guess, business is business and all. I’ll have to get used to it now I imagine.” Eren/Rogue shrugs, “But yeah, I wanted to ask, that new box doesn’t have a label. I was wondering if you have any old T shirts or anything I could borrow? Just to put on over this.” They ask, indicating their red, lace covered chest.

Levi’s face turns scarlet as he realises the contents of the final box he’d been waiting for and stutters his way through an answer as Eren/Rogue watch him expectantly.

“N-no, there won’t be. W-why don’t I get you my black shirt? The one you like to wear when you lounge around the house all day.” Levi suggests, hoping his earlier hesitation had gone unnoticed.

“Hey! I don’t just lounge around all day, I work hard!” Eren/Rogue exclaims in mock annoyance, “But yeah, if could get me that shirt, that’d be great.”

“Fine, you can keep it if you want, I hardly ever wear it anyway.” And it’ll be something to remember me by, Levi thinks but doesn’t say.

“No! The whole reason I like wearing it so much is because it’s yours. I’ll just borrow it now and then.”

Levi chooses to say nothing on that particular issue and instead changes the subject as he heads to his bedroom.

“I’m gonna go get showered and changed for tonight, the shirt has been washed so it should be in the dryer. I won’t be long.” Levi says hurriedly before he leaves without another word, and Eren/Rogue is left wondering why their friend suddenly looks so sad.

+++

As predicted, the club is absolutely bustling with people by the time they arrive, and it’s still hours before the doors even open to the public.

From the comfort of Rogue’s dressing room, Levi is greeted with the sight of strange, stressed out queens running up and down the hallway in various states of dress, clearly just as surprised by the crowds of excited fans already lined up outside for the show.

There are shouts and hollers coming from all directions, somebody enquiring about missing shoes or earrings or whatever, old friends re-uniting and catching up together, and more than a couple breakdowns from the younger queens on whether or not they have the right to grace the stage tonight.

A few new faces that Levi doesn’t recognise have knocked on the open door today to ask for a little time to speak with Rogue before their set, and Levi’s answer has been the same each time as per Rogue’s own personal instruction.

“She’s still getting ready, she’ll come out and see you before you’re due to go on. I promise.”

His tone isn’t exactly comforting or friendly per se, but it seems good enough for the young queens, and they leave looking a little less nervous and just a bit lighter than they had before.

“Levi, sweetie?” Rogue calls from behind her blue silk, privacy curtain, “Could you come and give me a hand with the zip on this thing?”

Levi sets down the little orange bottle of moisturiser he’d been stealing from and lets himself into Rogue’s mini dressing area with light-bulb mirror. It’s not an understatement to say that Levi almost chokes on his own saliva when he finds Rogue, with a full face of make-up and perfectly styled hair, staring at him while wearing nothing but her red bralette and a pair of little, red, tie side panties. Her face is almost as red as her provocative underwear, he notes. A sheer, red, mesh, bodycon dress pools at her high-heeled feet.

“I managed to attach the zip at the bottom, but I couldn’t reach properly and kept dropping it. Could you help me?” Rogue asks innocently, the bright blush of her cheeks giving away that she’s in fact feeling far less composed than she’s letting on. Whether Levi has noticed or not, she can’t tell in the dim light her floor-length mirror gives off.

“Y-Yeah, of course.” Levi says, stuttering only slightly as he kneels down to pull the dress off the floor. Rogue takes it from him, their hands touching for only a second as she slips her arms in the sleeves. The bottom of the dress only just reaching below the cheeks of her ass.

With a light tremor in his hands, Levi attempts to pull the zip up and manages to get it to fasten just over the top of her underwear. But with the lack of light and the accidental touches to her soft, plump skin against his fingers, he can’t seem to get the zip up any further without catching it on the flimsy fabric of the dress.

“Would it help if I bent over a little? Give you some extra light.” Rogue suggests, before taking it upon herself to lean over and place both her palms on her mirror in front of her. Her back bends with a prominent arch, her behind pressed suggestively against the grey fabric of Levi’s slacks.

“Better?” She asks breathily, catching his gaze with her reflection, red lips parted and smoky eyes sharp.

“Yeah, much better.” He answers, skin hot and internally reminding himself that he has to at least breathe every so often.

While the additional light and accentuated curve of her spine do allow the zip to travel up much easier than before, the feel of his hips against her strong legs and barely covered ass distracts him in a way he’s not all that familiar or comfortable with, making his wrists shake and goosebumps cover his exposed forearms.

The only times he can ever recall feeling such an enhanced level of physical excitement in this way is on those lonely nights he’d spend at home, sweating and skin tingling with the feelings of undeniable arousal he could no longer ignore. On those nights, he’d deal with the issue quickly and efficiently, cleaning afterwards taking more time than the act itself. But now, instead of feeling annoyed at his own body for failing him with basic, carnal need, he visualises what it’d be like to take his time, savouring the feeling of skin against skin….

He begins to feel the familiar heat travelling down to his pants, so he takes a tiny step back and angles his hips away as he manages to get the zip all the way up to the top, and Rogue can pull her arms down without the dress slipping off again.

“There, all done, now you won’t run the risk of flashing your poor audience.” Levi smirks, before attempting to leave before Rogue catches his wrist, pulling him back.

“Hey, wait a second, come here.” She instructs, still facing away but twisting herself back towards Levi. She pulls him closer, letting her hand guide his head towards her face. She angles herself so that she’s level with his height and kisses him softly on the cheek.

It only lasts a couple of seconds and Levi remains stock still the entire time, but when she does finally pull away, their noses brush a little and she grins widely at him.

“Thank you.” She whispers, gently letting her perfectly manicured fingernails scratch at the short strands of his undercut.

“You’re welcome.” He replies, voice just as quiet, as if not to ruin the moment. Uncharacteristically, and as if independent from the little part of his mind telling him this is a very bad idea, his hand immediately comes up to cover the one Rogue currently has in his hair. He squeezes lightly in encouragement, and just when he thinks Rogue is going to pull him in for another kiss, this time on the lips…. Maria calls out loudly for the both of them.

And just like that, the moment is gone. Levi pulls himself away quickly and perhaps a bit too harshly, leaving Rogue audibly sighing at the action.

“Rogue! Levi! Are you guys in here?!” Maria yells, entering the room, heels clacking on the hardwood of the floor.

They let themselves out from behind the curtain and Maria raises a dark eyebrow at them in surprise.

“Sorry, Levi was just helping me out with a wardrobe malfunction. What did you need?” Rogue asks, smoothing down her dress in an attempt to act natural while her heart continues to beat right out of her chest. She can swear they both hear it.

“Actually, I’m here for Levi.” Maria clarifies before addressing the man directly, “I don’t know what happened, but the line of people waiting outside is insane right now. Ymir won’t be able to handle it herself and Reiner is busy serving drinks to the other queens. We have extra bar staff coming in an about an hour, so he’ll be free then. And I know it’s not in your job description, but I have to ask, is there any way you could help Ymir out front until they get here? I’ll pay you the hourly rate on top of what Eren is giving you.”

“Maz, that won’t be necessary, you know I’m happy to help. Rogue will just be doing her rounds anyway, so as long as there’s not a repeat of last time she should be fine.” Levi assures her, resting a hand on Maria’s shoulder.

“Thank you.” Maria says sincerely before turning to Rogue, “Oh and about that, I’ve made sure these girls have been properly vetted, so it won’t happen again. I promise. Believe me, I’m still just as angry as you both are.”

“Don’t sweat it, I’m fine.” Rogue remarks casually with a flick of her hand. “I’m gonna start chatting with the other queens, maybe give the newer, greener looking ones a little pep talk before they’re faced with this mess outside.”

“I’m gonna head out now, but if you need anything, just call me. That goes for both of you.” Levi insists, before sharing one last look with Rogue as he leaves. The drag queen staring after him longingly as he goes, fingers pressed to her still buzzing lips.

+++

When Levi does manage to make it outside through the throng of excitable queens, Ymir looks more than a little relieved to see him and pats him on the back in greeting. The relief doesn’t last very long however, as many of the people waiting in line begin shouting and cheering very loudly.

He looks behind himself to see if someone has magically materialised behind him, until he realises that most of the cheering seems to be directed at himself.

“Oh my god, it’s Levi!”

“You’re so much hotter in real life!”

“Is Eren coming out too?! I’ll die if he does!

“Levi, we love you!”

Levi is left reeling and confused for a moment until it hits him, they recognise him from the Youtube videos. He scratches at his neck self-consciously before giving the crowd an unenthusiastic half-wave. To say ‘and the crowd goes wild’ would be underselling their reaction, they get even louder and rowdier if that’s possible.

Ymir, now feeling much less stressed from the pressure, begins laughing despite herself.

“Well would you look at that, shorty? You got yourself some fanboys and fangirls.” She jokes behind a manic grin that could rival Hange’s.

Levi glowers at her and she just shakes her head in amusement. Some of the crowd begin beckoning him over, and seeing himself with no other option, he heads over in their direction. Anything to make them a little less over the top, he supposes.

“Hey everyone.” He greets them, as he approaches the largest part of the crowd. About 20 men and women aged between 18 and 30, and in very colourful attire start bombarding him with questions all at once. Levi huffs in annoyance and raises his hands until they settle down.

“One at a time or I walk away, and I’m not kidding.” Levi threatens, folding his arms until they begin to quiet their attack on him, leaving Ymir with much less hassle up front. They seem to work together as a bit of a hive mind, which is only slightly creepy, and ask him relevant and interesting questions that he takes his time to answer as he waits for Reiner to come out and take his place.

“Is it true you’re Eren’s bodyguard?”

“Yes, that’s true, it’s actually how we met. I moved here from Trost and was looking for a place to live, he was the one who suggested we live together.”

“Are you seriously 34? You don’t look a day over 27, at most!”

“I can show you my birth certificate if that would suffice as proof?”

“Are you and Eren a couple?”

“We’re not, we’re just good friends.” This particular answer is met with a resounding groan of disappointed and one ‘I told you so, you owe me $5’.

“Levi! Will you be starting your own Youtube channel too? I would definitely subscribe if you did!” A flurry of ‘Me too’ follows this statement.

“Not to disappoint, but I’m not all that great on camera, Eren has to all but wrestle me into the chair each time I join him.”

“I don’t have a question, I just really want to say thank you for all you’ve done for our country. It’s not said enough, and veterans get such a hard time as it is, I think I speak for everyone when I say we appreciate it.” A round of booming applause erupts from the crowd and Levi is once again left feeling self-conscious, shrugging and expressing his own thanks in return.

With the crowd now distracted and chatting amongst themselves, he spots a very small, young woman, probably no older than 20, looking incredibly uncomfortable and trying to get his attention. She is terribly short, shorter than himself and clinging tightly onto a little rainbow flag, her eyes wide and a little watery at the edges.

“Hey honey.” Levi says softly, switching into what’s been described as his fatherly mode, “Is everything alright?”

She grips tighter on to her flag and tilts her head up at him, pointing across the road to a group of people beginning to gather. He doesn’t think much of it at first, until he spots the signs proclaiming hate and protest towards the club and it’s patrons.

Oh man, he thinks, this is going to be a problem. After assuring the woman and her partner that he would deal with the situation, he makes his way across the road to confront the group.

“Excuse me, may I speak with whoever is in charge here?” Levi asks politely, despite the numerous choice words he could be using for each and every one of them. Although, he has to remind himself that not long ago he would have been front and centre of a group like this. Looking back, it’s a hard pill to swallow.

The group either choose to ignore or scoff at him in disgust until and older gentleman with dark eyes and a receding hairline approaches him.

“That would be myself. Tell me what ails you, young man.” It’s a request made with a stony expression, no room for argument and no doubt at all as to why Levi has asked to speak with him, “I am known simply as Pastor Nick. I do sermons at the local church. Forgive me son, but I regret to say that I do not recall making your acquaintance as of yet.”

“Name’s Levi, and you won’t recall because I haven’t attended your church as of yet, nor do I intend to for that matter.” Levi states with an impenetrable stare and folded arms.

“I see.” Pastor Nick nods in resolve, “I assume you have an opinion which directly conflicts with the message we’re spreading today?” He asks, gesturing to the mainly signs, banners and T shirts of ‘Pray the Gay away’ and other such slogans.

“I don’t particularly agree with it, nor is that the reason for my absence.” Levi clarifies, and continues when the Pastor gives him a questioning look, “There have been a lot of times when I was told to look to your God for guidance, and when it became clear that guidance wouldn’t be coming any time soon, I simply stopped seeking it. No hard feelings though, right Pastor?”

“As a human being, you have the right to choose your own path, whether I believe it is the righteous path or not.” Nick chuckles, his hands raised in surrender.

“And what about those human beings over there?” Levi questions, tilting his head towards the number of club-goers watching the scene from their place in line, “Do they not get the right to choose regardless of your feelings?”

“They do.” Nick says with a nod, “But these good people standing on this side of the road today also have the right to choose, and they have chosen to spread the word of the Lord today.”

Levi sighs audibly, knowing he’ll get nowhere arguing with them today, “Look Pastor, I don’t want any trouble here. These people have come out tonight to watch a show. I’m sure I don’t have to remind you of what’s been happening at the other nightclubs around the country.”

“I can assure you Levi, that is nothing to do with us. We’re here in peace, and we’re not on any of your land, so we’re not causing any trouble or breaking any laws. As long as your people remain where they are and let us be, there won’t be a problem.” Pastor Nick assures him.

It takes a hell of a lot of restraint on Levi’s part not to argue that these are not “his people” and send Nick and his flock on their way anyway. But against his better judgement and knowing he hasn’t got a leg to stand on, he agrees that there will be no problem and heads back to the club, where Reiner is waiting to take over his post.

+++

With an even bigger crowd to entertain, it’s no surprise that Rogue positively shines on stage and revels in the presence of so many adoring fans, even if there are far fewer familiar faces than she’s used to tonight.

Levi watches the show from the bar area, as he normally does, giving him a few of the whole venue and the stage, allowing him to watch the guests and Rogue at the same time.

So far, apart from the odd rowdy customer that are a little too drunk for Levi’s liking, the night is going pretty much like any other, just with a far higher head count. He orders a water with lime from the bar and allows himself to lean back on his stool as Rogue begins her closing speech for the night.

“So before I finish up here, I just want to say that you have been an absolutely amazing crowd tonight and I couldn’t have asked for anything better for my last performance with the rest of these amazing queens. For now at least, so I wanna say thank you to each and every one of you!” She says, and the audience begin whooping and cheering once again. The sound is almost deafening until she begins speaking once more.

“What I also must say, is that even though I’m not leaving yet, I’m still going to be here for just under a week, I have to take this time to thank the person who’s made all of this possible. Maria, I won’t ask you to come up here because you’ll cry and your make-up will run, but without you, none of this would ever have been possible and I love you so much, you’re like a mother, sister and brother wrapped into one and you gifted me more than a life, you gifted me a family. You guys right here, y’all are my fucking family and I will never forget where I started, or where I came from all because of you and because of her! Everyone, please show your immense appreciation for Maria!” The crowd begin their wild applause and whoops once more, and Levi looks over to where he knows she’ll be sitting and as expected, Jean pats her back as she sobs visibly into the personalised handkerchief Levi had given her as a late birthday present. She’d cried then too, he recalls.

“While I’m here, I also have to say thank you to all of my friends and family who have supported my career over the years, helped me find myself and accepted me for who I am. It’s been a rough few years, but everything you all do for me everyday makes everything worth it, and I know I’ll have to say all this again once my parents come see my last show on Thursday, but just bear with me!” Rogue jokes and the audience laugh good-naturedly.

Rogue goes on to thank Mikasa, Jean and Annie, before coming to the last person on her thank you list, locking eyes with Levi as she speaks.

“Lastly, I also have to thank in particular the man who takes care of me every day, makes sure I get here on time and honestly just gives me a reason to wake up every morning. I know we had a rough start to say the least, but these last four months of my life with you have been some of the happiest I can remember, and it feels like I’ve known you for years. And no matter what happens in my future, I know I’ve met somebody special in you. So, thank you, from the bottom of my heart, you know exactly who you are. I love you.” Rogue says, winking at him, before taking her final bow of the evening and walking off the stage.

The roar from the crowd is deafening, there’s a thunderous clapping from the standing ovations and the music starts to blare from Connie’s sound system again. But nothing can be heard over the sound of Levi’s breaking heart. The tell-tale wetness on his face also confirming that this particular wound will never heal, it’ll stay with him forever, from this moment on until and beyond when he finally has to go.

+++

Erwin finds him near the bar not too long after that, the tears have been furiously wiped away, the evidence of them dried on the heels of his hands. But Erwin knows, Erwin Smith always just has to know.

“You know you can always back out, I haven’t filed the paperwork yet.” Erwin says gently from the stool he’s perched on next to Levi.

“Save it Erwin.” Levi says, voice cracking and still filled with sobs he hadn’t known he was repressing, “Please, just don’t do this right now. You don’t have to tell me what I’m giving up because I already fucking know, okay? I know, but it doesn’t change anything. So just…. don’t.” Levi pleads until Erwin can’t take it anymore and wraps his arms around his best friend.

And the action is all it takes until Levi breaks down, right in the middle of the club, swallowed by the oblivious crowd around him.

+++

“Rogue! My darling, come here! You did absolutely fantastically my lovely, such a wonderful and poignant speech you made at the end. You were the highlight of the evening.” The middle-aged queen insists, ushering Rogue aside after she’s finally changed back into her comfy clothes for the rest of the night.

The older, visiting drag queen is one that Rogue is very familiar with. Her name is Ida Hoe and she visits from the US once every few months when she can. One of the very first queens Rogue became acquainted with in her early career, and one of her favourite performers in the world. Rogue beams happily and settles next to Ida on the couch she’d been seated at along with some younger queens.

“Thank you Ida, I’m glad you enjoyed it. I’m not quite gone yet, but it will probably be a while before I can perform with everybody again. I go on tour soon.” Rogue confirms, sipping on a drink Jean had ordered to be sent to her room.

“I look forward to the day we share a stage once again, truly. But you’re young! You shouldn’t be restricted to just one place at this age, plenty of time for that later. When you’re my age for example.” Ida jokes with a nudge to Rogue’s shoulder and the younger laughs contentedly.

“It’ll be nice to get around a little, I’ll admit, like you have, in both senses of the word.” Rogue teases, “Outside the stuff I do on the internet, I’ve only ever really worked here, Wall Rose and The Basement on occasion.”
“Oh yes, but with what happened in both those places these last few months, I’d be reluctant to go back there if I were you. I know it can happen anywhere, but it’s a cruel, nasty business what with that friend of yours being killed in Wall Rose, God rest his soul. And then that other boy in The Basement not long after that.” Ida says solemnly, as Rogue looks on at her confused.

“What other boy at The Basement?” Rogue asks, she certainly hadn’t heard anything of the like.

“Oh, he was a young queen, just starting his career, the poor dear. I went along to his funeral, I’m surprised you hadn’t heard, it was the talk of the club scene. Nac his name was, such a tragedy.”

Rogue’s heart plummets to her stomach and suddenly she needs to throw up, “Nac??” she questions, hoping Ida tells her she’s heard wrong and it’s somebody completely different and she doesn’t know who they are.

“Yes, did you know him?” Ida asks innocently, pleasantly unaware of the inner turmoil going on in Rogue’s head. Because if Ida knows of Nac being murdered at a nightclub, then Levi undoubtedly knows about it too, and that can only mean that Levi chose to keep it a secret from her. Which begs the question, why?

“I’m sorry Ida, I just need a minute to process this. Would you please excuse me?” Ida nods understandingly and lets Rogue leave her side without incident.

Rogue all but storms off in search of Levi, how could he do this? How could he keep such a massive secret from her? Not only covering up the secret of a young man’s death but staying silent on the issue of another Titan attack. A Titan attack that has claimed the life of another person he’d been fond of, in a place where Rogue herself works, although admittedly, she hasn’t worked there in a while.

Could that be why Levi nor Annie have booked any work there recently? Does that mean everybody knows apart from her? There are so many questions running around in her head, and she needs answers now. But what can she do if Levi had decided to cover this up and hide it from her? She can’t exactly be mad at him; she’s not exactly been forthcoming with the details of his sister’s demise…. But the anger and hurt she’s feeling is too overwhelming to push aside.

Suddenly, she has no more time, as Levi materialises in front of her eyes. His eyes are red rimmed, but she can’t focus on that right now, she’s far too confused and angry to ask him what’s wrong. Instead, he does it for her.

“Rogue, what’s the matter? What’s happened?” He asks worriedly, the sadness and resolve in his eyes quickly turning into urgent concern.

“How…. How could you not tell me about Nac?” Rogue asks angrily, “He’s dead, he was murdered, and nobody told me. Why didn’t you tell me? Did you know?”

Levi sighs, eyes downcast, and Rogue doesn’t need a verbal answer.

“Rogue….”

“Why?!” She snaps angrily, “Why didn’t you tell me, Levi? How could you do that?”

“I couldn’t tell you, I wanted to, I promise. I just couldn’t do it.” Levi answers honestly, red eyes boring into hers.

“You ‘couldn’t tell me’?” Rogue questions incredulously, “Okay, I’ll throw you a bone here. Why couldn’t you tell me Levi? Why?”

“Because I told him not to.” Comes the answer from Rogue’s left-hand side, where Maria is now standing.

“You?” Rogue asks, staring in disbelief at the remorseful queen.

“Yes. Levi wanted to tell you right away, but I convinced him not to. I thought at the time that it would cause you more harm than good to know. I was trying to protect you, but I realise now that maybe I was wrong.” Maria replies solemnly, looking intently at the floor instead of at Rogue now.

“You were trying to protect me?! From what? A dead 18-year-old?” Rogue rages on, her yelling still almost drowned out by the loud music playing.

“From yourself, Eren. You know what you’re capable of, and if I had told you the Titans killed somebody else, somebody you had known, I couldn’t promise I’d be able to stop you this time.”

“That was not your choice to make, Marco!” Rogue screeches, “You took my choice away and you have the nerve to say you did it to protect me. Did you go to his funeral?”

“Yes, I did.” Maria answers, “I thought I’d pay my respects for the both of us.”

“Of course you did….” Rogue says, shaking her head, “Because Maria has to be the caring, motherly, angel at all times. I imagine my absence was noted, what did you tell people?”

“I said that you were on vacation, and that you couldn’t get home on time for the funeral.” Maria admits sheepishly, looking Rogue in the eyes once more.

“Well isn’t that just fucking swell? Rogue can’t make the funeral because she’s too busy sunning herself on some tropical island, while St Maria, somebody who didn’t even know the poor boy, took the time out of her day to pay her respects out of the goodness of her own heart. Because that’s just Maria, she’s always just so thoughtful.”

“Come on Rogue, that’s not fair now.” Levi interjects suddenly, knowing Maria had her valid reasons, including the photographs Rogue is still unaware of.

“Not fair? Not Fair Levi?! You’re really talking to me about fairness right now? No, fairness would have been you telling me this weeks ago, why tonight? Why did I have to hear this tonight of all nights?” Rogue yells at Levi, just as Erwin and Mikasa approach them with some drinks. Erwin’s jaw drops and he looks to Levi incredulously.

“Levi, why are you doing this here? You said you were waiting until tonight to tell her you’re quitting. You promised you’d be kind, why would you do this?”

Rogue goes completely silent, the colour draining from her face and she feels like she could fall to her knees. Levi isn’t fairing much better, staring doe-eyed at his best friend with a look of sheer shock and sickness at the sudden turn of events.

“Levi…. what is he talking about?” Rogue asks, eyes pleading with Levi to tell her it’s not true. That this is all just a bad dream and her world is not falling to pieces around her.

“Shit….” Erwin exclaims, and Rogue can vaguely hear Mikasa rapidly firing questions at him.

“Rogue…. I’m sorry….” Levi begins, and before he can say anymore, Rogue is already retreating backwards, away from everyone. Away from him.

“You’re leaving me…. You’re all lying to me…. You’ve tricked me, all of you. Who the hell are you?” Rogue asks, anger and betrayal marring her lovely features, as she casts her gaze evenly between Levi and Maria. There are no tears, just hurt, and it makes everything all the worse to Levi. Eren/Rogue is a naturally emotive person, cutting themselves off in this way screams nothing but bad news in Levi’s mind.

Rogue is already storming away from everyone by the time Levi’s mind finally decides to catch up with him, and he fights his way through the crowd so he can catch up to her.

“Rogue, wait, please!” Levi begs, grabbing Rogue’s wrist and spinning her round to meet his eyes.

“Let go of me Levi, I have nothing left to say to you.”

“Just stop, stay and talk to me. Say something, I’m begging you.” Levi says, desperately trying to reach out to her, hoping she’ll stay to listen to his side of the story.

“You know something Levi? I tried, my goddamn hardest not to catch feelings for you. But I’ve failed. I’ve fallen hopelessly and deeply in love with you. I have NEVER loved like this before. You have my heart, and right now you’re crushing it in front of my eyes. And it hurts to even look at you.” Rogue proclaims, eyes wet but no tears actually spilling over.

“I know. And that’s why I thought it best that I leave.” Levi says sadly, eyes downcast.

“Then leave.” Rogue says finally, walking away from him, not once turning to look back.

Levi knows he should let her go, let her get on with her life, and move on. But he can’t bring himself to do it, and as always, he follows her without question.

+++

The temperature outside has turned cold and the crowd has almost doubled in size, Levi notes.

Club go-ers are still waiting for entry to party through the night, the smokers are hanging around outside the doors together and to his annoyance, the religious protesters from earlier have decided to come closer to the club, now standing next to a small group and arguing rather loudly with them.

Ymir and Reiner both struggle to keep everybody back as cameras begin to flash at the sight of Rogue, with both fans and religious nuts trying to come closer, and it’s causing absolute chaos.

“Nick! I thought I told you to stay away and not cause trouble!” Levi yells at the rather frazzled looking Pastor, trying to hold several of his men back.

“I’m handling it, just back off for a minute!” Nick yells back, turning back around to once again try and reason with the men to stop aggravating the group of young gay men and women screaming abuse at them.

Groups of people are now beginning to swarm Rogue, as she attempts to fight her way through them and run away from the situation she’s found herself in. Levi is just beginning to catch up when he hears Maria call out from behind him.

“Eren! Please stay, we can talk about this! I’m sorry!”

Maria has now also exited the club, with Jean, Mikasa and Erwin in tow, each of them shouting after both himself and Rogue, and following close behind. The latter has managed to free herself from the throng of people that have surrounded her without turning around once, and Levi is about to call out to her again, when the shape catches the corner of his eye.

He doesn’t even know how he’s spotted it, the figure standing completely still with the hood covering the majority of their face. Whether it’s through his years of training and conditioning to recognise these small details in heavily crowded places, or if there’s some kind of unearthly being somewhere on his side, he doesn’t know, nor does he even care to know.

All he does know, is that the figure is holding a handgun and is beginning to raise it up towards their desired target.

It takes no more thinking on Levi’s part, instead he just feels as he rams his way through the people separating him and Rogue, taking no care to be gentle and manically throwing them aside in a panic. The thought of losing the only person that’s ever made him feel this way, the one that made him lose all his inhibitions and rebuild himself as a better man, the only person he’s ever truly been maddeningly in love with, it’s too unbearable a thought to entertain. It drives him forward, forward…

“EVERYBODY GET DOWN NOW!” He screams, before launching himself in front of a terror-stricken Rogue, pinning them both down to the ground.

And the shot rings out with a resonating bang.

Chapter Text

Chapter 26

In all of the chaos and calamity the hooded figure has left in his wake, it’s all too easy for him to disappear among the throng of screaming, scrambling people and slip into the welcoming shadows of the darkened city.

The soles of his well worn-out sneakers are barely touching the unforgiving, cold, hard ground as he sprints as fast as his feet can carry him. He’s constantly checking over his shoulder for any sign he’s being pursued as he could have sworn he’d felt a presence in dark of night watching and assessing his every move.

He weaves his way through back alleys, ensuring to avoid the main roads at all costs. He can’t afford for his image to be caught on street cameras, especially not now.

Not after what he did tonight.

After running for what feels like an eternity, he finds solace in the form of an abandoned block of apartment buildings, that he knows from his own personal experience, are often used by the homeless community to sleep in when the air starts to become cooler at night.

It’s a mild sort of night tonight, not desperately hot from a long day of the sun shining bright in the sky, nor is it cold enough that more than one layer is required to comfortably sleep outside without need of a roof. But still, the air is sticky and dry, bordering on sweat inducing even in his light hooded jacket and thin combats.

Because of this, most of the apartments in the building have been left vacant, and anyone he does pass in the halls or accidently disturbs as they sleep on one of the few dirty mattresses know the unspoken rule of not asking any questions. Covered in blood? Carrying around a dirty shovel? Have green skin and antenna sticking out of your head? Don’t matter, no questions asked.

Making his way on to the fire escape, high enough up from the ground to remain hidden from anyone who may come looking this way, he pulls out his borrowed phone from his pocket and dials the only contact listed.

They answer within three rings.

“Is it done?” asks a gruff, deep, male voice on the other end in lieu of a proper greeting.

“Y-yes sir…” he answers shakily “The target has been taken down.”
“Good.” The man says without any hint of emotion, “And death has been confirmed on site?”

He hesitates, the question was bound to come up and he knows he has to tell the truth. The consequences would no doubt be far worse if he’s to lie now. He gulps audibly before giving his answer.

“I…I can’t be sure, sir.” He admits, “I left straight after, I didn’t get a chance to see the body. It was so crowded and I wouldn’t have been able to get a good enough look without implicating myse…”

“I ordered you to do one thing, you sack of shit!” The man roars down the phone, “It shouldn’t be news that you owe a massive debt, and me being the nice guy that I am, offered to let you clear it with this final job.”

“I know, sir. And I truly am grateful…”

“Don’t interrupt me! I could send one of my boys down there in minutes to ensure the job is completed, and then finish you off on the way back.”

He starts to panic, sweat pours from his forehead and armpits in rivulets as he scans his nearest escape route. He can maybe fit in one last phone call to his mom before he has to run, skip town, or maybe even flee the country. He already has her number memorised.

“Luckily for you, we had a plan B laid out in the event you’d turn into the chicken shit I always knew you were. We still have a bigger fish to fry, and you, well your new job is to give me as much information as you can on that new babysitter of his. I trust even someone as stupid as you can handle something as simple as that?” The man sneers, obviously still seething from the disappointing result of tonight’s shooting.

“I…I won’t let you down, sir.” He vows, his body sagging in relief and his knees giving out from underneath him.

“Oh, I know you won’t, kid. Because I won’t be so forgiving next time, and I’d hate to think what will happen to your poor mother if you do. Let’s not think too hard about that for now, you have tonight to rest, but from then on, the clock is ticking.”

And with that, the man hangs up without another word.

‘The clock is ticking’ the man had said, and he had been correct. The clock is constantly ticking, the seconds getting louder and louder in his head with every passing moment, counting down to the main event, counting down to his boss’ idea of ‘justice’ being served.

Counting down on Eren Jaeger’s time left in this world.

And if he messes this up, his own too.

+++

Levi hadn’t realised he’d squeezed his eyes shut until he has to blink the blurriness of his surroundings away. A quick internal assessment tells him he hasn’t hit his head, and he can’t feel any immediate pain, but that’s not to say his body isn’t in just in shock from the rip of a gunshot wound.

It takes him a few seconds to remember why he’s laying on something hard, and immediately his steel eyes lock with Rogue’s glowing green and shining gold. They’re still blown wide and full of life. Completely and utterly terrified.

Rogue has began to tremble underneath him, Levi can feel the violent shakes in his arms that are currently wrapped tight around her, cradling her, protecting her.

Sound is beginning to reach his ears again, and the screaming and shouting from all around him is almost deafening. People are running in all directions, away from the club, inside the club…others are frozen to the spot in fear, some are even crawling on their stomachs to reach their friends and loved ones they’ve been separated from.

Snapping out of his reverie, Levi brings his hands up to Rogue’s face, resting his palms on her cheeks and checking for any signs of concussion in her pupils. As he does this, he can feel her palms running up and down his back, doing her own assessment of his condition where her eyes can’t see.

“Are you okay? Are you hurt?!” Levi asks, knowing the immense fear in his eyes must be pretty visible right about now and he can’t seem to stop his hands from shaking, they look even paler now as they rest on Rogue’s pretty face.

“No, I think I’m okay. You saved my life.” She answers breathlessly, the wind knocked right out of her as she landed on the hard ground with Levi pressed on top of her, “What about you? Did he get you?! Did he hurt you?! I’ll kill him myself. Maybe you should be laying down.” She rambles on.

“He didn’t shoot me; I’d have felt it by now.” Levi assures her before resting his forehead down against hers, his eyes finally closing again as he breathes out, “I thought I was going to lose you.”

“You haven’t lost me Levi, I’m still here. You won’t lose me, I promise.” Rogue says softly through fresh tears threatening to spill, bringing her hand to Levi’s cheek and reverently running her fingertips over it.

It’s only when a figure to their left begins to croak out a cry for help that they even realise they aren’t the only two people in the world at this moment.

“Levi…” Maria whimpers, clutching tightly at her stomach, “I….”

Levi’s eyes go wide and his jaw dropping to the ground, he can feel Rogue tensing up underneath him and vaguely registers what feels like growling. Rogue hadn’t been who the shooter was aiming for at all. He was gunning for Maria…and he succeeded…because Levi hadn’t been paying close enough attention.

“No! Marco!!!” Jean yells at the top of his lungs before sprinting over to Maria, catching her as she crumples to the ground in a heap. Jean helps her rest her head on his shoulder and she pulls her hand away long enough to reveal blood and a clear entry wound to the abdomen.

“Jean…I’m s-so t-tired…” Maria says, eyelids fluttering and breath catching on each word. Levi bolts from his spot on the ground with Rogue hot on his tail, as pushes his way through to the fallen drag queen.

“Marco, baby, you need to stay awake right now! You can’t fall asleep…please don’t fall asleep.” Jean begs through hitching sobs that wrack through his entire body, “I need you here, I can’t live without you.” He takes Maria’s clean hand and presses it to his lips, his eyes shut in despair and disbelief.

When Levi finally reaches the pair, he immediately gets down on his knees, unbuttons his waistcoat, shrugging it off and tearing a strip of fabric from his shirt. His first aid training from his Army days beginning to kick in to overdrive. Mikasa and Annie reach them a matter of seconds later, with no sign of Erwin, and kneel down on either side of Maria, sheer terror etched on both of their faces.

“Maria, honey, I need you to bear with me here. This is gonna hurt a bit, but I have to cover up your wound.” She nods with a grimace, skin looking paler than he’s ever seen it, her usual honey glow nowhere to be found, “Has anybody called an ambulance?!” Levi has to shout to get the attention of those around him.

“I have…they said they wouldn’t be long…is…is he going to be okay?” Levi raises his head and meets the eyes of a horror-stricken young man that he recognises as being part of Pastor Nick’s group from earlier. Religious nut or not, being faced with harsh reality right in front of your eyes can change a man’s whole perspective in life. He knows that from personal experience.

“I’m gonna do my very best, but he need’s proper medical attention sooner rather than later, we need that ambulance to get here as quickly as possible.” Levi says honestly, lightly wrapping the already bloody fabric over Maria’s wound. Blood begins to seep through it at an alarming rate.

The young man nods and waves over two others from the same group from before, “Come on boys, we’ll wait in the street and bring them in here!” and they take off running.

“Annie, go with them.” Levi instructs with a tilt of his head. As much as he wants to believe they’ve had their eyes opened on what they’re fighting for tonight, he’s still not about to take any chances. Annie does so without hesitation, jogging to catch up with them.

Mikasa then moves in next to Levi and clutches Maria’s bloodied hand in her own, “Erwin thinks he saw the shooter go East. He’s following the trail until it runs cold. I…I don’t know what he plans on doing.”

Levi nods, “He’ll be fine, if he’s careful about it. It’s what he does.” Just then, Maria begins to stir and wriggle around, almost knocking Jean back on his heels as she does, clenching her eyes in pain with each small movement.

“I n-need…I need…m-my…” Maria begins, unable to fully get her words out.

“Whoa! Maria, you need to lay still!” Levi orders, hand shooting out in a stopping gesture, “What do you need?”

It takes a few more breaths on Maria’s part, but eventually she manages to say “My J-jacket.”

“You can have mine baby; I’ll keep you warm!” Jean exclaims, attempting to carefully extract himself from his too expensive blazer to wrap around Maria’s shivering shoulders.

She shakes her head frantically at the action, tears of frustration stinging her eyes, “N-no no, it n-n-needs to be m-mine! It h-has to be…”

“I’ll go and get it for you! Just please stay still, I’ll be back in a minute.” Mikasa says, squeezing Maria’s hand once more in reassurance before kissing it and rushing back into the club, pushing her way through anyone standing in her way.

Levi works quickly and efficiently, carefully raising Maria’s legs up to her chest in the most painless way he can come up with, checking her back for a possible exit wound and when he finds none, argues with a distressed Jean on why he can’t just simply ‘remove the bullet’.

“That thing could be tearing him apart from the inside out, and you’re going to just leave it in there?!”

“Think about it, Jean! We have no idea where it’s sitting right now or what it could have ruptured on the way in. That bullet could be acting like a cork in a champagne bottle, all we can do is apply a light pressure and keep…where the hell is Rogue?!” Levi asks sharply, only just realising he hasn’t seen her in a few minutes now.

Jean looks around for a few moments before indicating behind Levi. He quickly spots her determined, stalking form heading off in the direction of the shadowed city. With a sigh, Levi balances Maria’s legs on the ground so that they are still raised and softly instructs her to press on to her abdomen, but not too tightly, as a way to keep her awake and responding for the time being.

It doesn’t take long for Levi to catch up to Rogue, but even as he manages to reach her while calling her name, she doesn’t show any signs of stopping anytime soon.

“Rogue, wait!” He calls, no response.

“Rogue, don’t do this!” He calls again.

“I’ll kill them. I’ll kill them all. Every single one of them. They’ll beg for mercy when I destroy them.”

“EREN!” Levi yells at the top of his lungs, and this makes the drag queen stop in her tracks. Not once has Levi ever verbally acknowledged Rogue and Eren as one in the same while presenting as Rogue. But even so, she can’t let this distract her from her main goal.

“Mika said Erwin saw the shooter go East? Well that’s where I need to go, he’s gonna die tonight. He’ll regret ever being born; I swear it Levi.” She hisses, fists clenched to the point where it’s almost painful and teeth grit so hard she can almost taste blood.

“If you leave now, Eren, you might catch him. You MIGHT. But if you do go, Marco has a much higher chance of dying.”

“That’s not true…you’re LYING!”

“I AM NOT!” Levi roars, before taking a shaky, calming breath, “Eren, Jean is in no fit state to be of any help right now. I only have two hands, plus Mikasa, and at this moment in time, Marco is in severe risk of bleeding out, getting a blood clot or having his vital organs damaged by that bullet if he keeps moving around and…I don’t know how long I can keep him alive before that ambulance gets here. He might not even make it to the hospital…”

Rogue begins to sob audibly, and begins biting the space between her thumb and wrist of her left hand, a habit that Levi knows she uses to calm herself when she’s incredibly angry or scared. He places a comforting, bloody hand on her shoulder.

“You can go if you need to Eren, I won’t stop you. It’s your decision. You can choose to leave and hunt him down; you may even find him. Or you can choose stay here until the ambulance comes, and help with Marco. Eren, the difference between your decision and mine is experience, but you don’t have to rely on that. Believe in yourself or believe in me, I can believe in my own abilities or the choices of people I trust, but no one ever knows how it will turn out. So, choose for yourself, whichever decision you’ll regret least.”

With that, Levi begins to head back towards Marco and the others, leaving Rogue to make her own decision on what she wishes to do. It takes about ten seconds before she speaks up.

“Levi…I’ll go with you.”

+++

“What do you need me to do?” Rogue asks resolutely, kneeling next to Maria and placing a gentle hand over where hers is currently resting on her stomach. Mikasa has since returned and carefully placing Maria’s newly obtained jacket over the drag queen’s chest.

“Keep your hand where it is, that rag is completely soaked through, so I’m gonna wrap another over your hands. Make sure the pressure is light, blood is much easier to replace than a new intestine, we can’t press too hard, as much as we may be tempted to. Mikasa, if you could rub her arms and legs, we still need to keep her blood flowing so she doesn’t clot either. Jean, just keep her steady for us.”

Everyone gets to work immediately and without hesitation. It’s only when Maria begins struggling with her jacket that Levi stops to check in with her.

“Maz, what’s the matter? Am I hurting you? What do you need?” Levi asks calmly, and Jean squeezes her shoulders gently in encouragement.

“J-jean…darlin’…can you r-reach into ma j-jacket pocket? The one on the i-inside.” Maria instructs, words coming out quieter and even harsher than before, as if each one presents a painful uphill battle, which to be fair, they probably are at this point.

Jean does as he’s asked with only mild confusion showing on his face, rummaging around in the deep pocket for a while before his hand reaches a small, square object. He pulls it out and finds it’s in fact a velvet box. With a click, the box opens to reveal a simplistic silver band that glints in the moonlight.

“Oh my god…” Jean gasps, a fresh stinging in his eyes as he inspects the engagement ring in his hand.

“It b-belonged to my Daddy. M-momma gave it to me a-after he died. I w-wanted you to h-h-have it. I was w-waitin’ f-for our anniversary b-b-but now seems as g-good a time as any.” Maria jokes through her own trembling, the pain in her abdomen becoming more and more excruciating by the second.

“Oh Marco…” Jean breathes.

“Jean Kirstein, will you m-marry me?”

“You dumbass!” Jean laughs through his own tears, “Of course I will, I shoulda asked you myself sooner!”
“T’sa real shame, I h-had a whole s-speech prepared n’ everything.” Marco says with a smile.

“Don’t worry sweetheart, we have forever for you to tell me all about it.”

And as he watches the heart-wrenching scene unfold in front of him, all Levi can do is hope and pray that ‘forever’ will last longer than just tonight.

+++

Once the ambulance had FINALLY arrived and Maria had been safely secured in with Jean by her side, the paramedics had instructed everybody else to go home, get cleaned up and get some well-deserved sleep. The reality of the situation being that she would need immediate surgery and wouldn’t be ready for visitors until her condition was no longer in such a critical state.

It took much longer to convince Rogue that there was nothing more she could do but wait, and she would be far more productive after at least a few hours of rest at home, than sitting in a hospital waiting room for an update.

However, after a reassuring reminder from Mikasa that it was more than extremely likely that Eren’s own father would be the one to perform Maria’s surgery, and that Grisha Jaeger would cut out any medical jargon or bullshit and they’d be the first to know any new information when it comes to light, Eren finally agreed to be taken home by Levi while Mikasa would deal with the still terrified crowd gathered around and inside the club walls, whilst awaiting an update from Erwin in the meantime.

When they arrive home, Rogue is in an almost zombie-like state, going through the motions of getting undressed without a word, and only after Levi had instructed her to do so while he draws a bath for her.

“Do you need me to help you get cleaned up or do you think you can manage it?” Levi asks, leaning over the tub as Rogue sits on the covered toilet in only her underwear and filthy wig. She doesn’t look at him when she responds.

“I…might need some help getting the blood off my skin, I can’t bear to look at it. I can bathe myself after that.”

Levi nods because he understands, he remembers the first time he got a fallen comrade’s blood literally on his hands. He and Erwin had been the same rank back then, and he’d helped Levi scrub the stickiness from his skin. And even though he knew it was impossible, he could still feel it staining his skin for weeks after. From then on, he ensured to always clean himself and his surroundings to within an inch of its’ life.

“Okay, let’s get you into the bath alright? If you just sit on the edge facing me, I’ll get you cleaned up in no time.” Levi offers, and Rogue agrees solemnly, taking Levi’s outstretched hand and sitting on the edge as suggested.

Levi begins scrubbing at Rogue’s skin with a soapy sponge and without delay, pausing only when he notices that Rogue has been staring at him the whole time, and only then does it occur to him that the bath water is turning red as Marco’s blood drips from her body.

“Don’t worry, I’ll change the water again before you take a proper bath.” Levi promises, receiving only a shrug of the shoulders as acknowledgement this time around. So, Levi continues to work in silence and Rogue continues staring blankly until she dares to speak again.

“Are you leaving tomorrow?” She asks quietly, meeting his gaze with the saddest look in her eyes.

“What are you talking about? I’m not going anywhere?” Levi responds, still washing away.

“Tonight…you said you’re leaving…you didn’t say when.” Rogue clarifies, “I just need to know so that I can…prepare I guess.”

Levi stops his motions straight away, setting the sponge down on the rim of the tub and gently places his hands on Rogue’s shoulders, leaning close so that their faces are almost touching.

“Rogue, listen to me and listen to me carefully. I never once wanted to leave you; don’t you think that for even a second. I thought it would be best that I leave because…well, my feelings for you are no longer…professional. And that frightens me. I haven’t felt this way in a very long time and I thought that running away would be the best thing for both of us in the long run. But tonight, I thought I was going to lose you forever, and it made me realise something…” Levi trails off, taking a moment to admire the beauty and hope twinkling in Rogue’s gorgeous, contrasting eyes, knowing for certain he’s making the right decision.

“And what was that?” Rogue asks, barely contained excitement beginning to bloom in her voice, hands gripping the bathtub so tightly, Levi fears for the integrity of the ceramic.

“That I don’t want to live in a world where I can’t see your face every day. That I don’t want to say goodbye to you, not for a second. That I want to be by your side for as long as I can and stay there for as long as you’ll have me.” Levi admits honestly, the weight of his words lifted from his shoulders and weighing Rogue’s head down so she can no longer meet his eyes.

“And…that’s because…you care for me?” Rogue wonders hopefully, and Levi can’t help the smirk that graces his lips.

“Tch, because I love you brat.” Levi declares, and Rogue’s head snaps up sharply at his words.

“You…do you…you mean it? You love me?”

“Yeah kid.” Levi nods, letting one of his hands trail up and cup Rogue’s make up covered cheek, her mascara long since run and leaving dark tracks all down her face. Despite this, she’s smiling brightly, a watery, sad smile, unsurprising considering the day they’ve both had, but she looks so beautiful to Levi nonetheless.

“Wow…” Rogue whispers breathlessly, “I’ve never been in love before. But…you make me feel like my heart is gonna burst from my chest or climb out of my throat whenever you look at me like that…is that what it feels like to you?”

“Don’t think it’s a one size fits all sort of deal.” Levi shrugs, “But don’t get me wrong, I’m…not good when it comes to this kind of thing. Love, and stuff…relationships you know? I’m set in my ways, I’m grumpy, I’m neurotic, I’m…”

“Perfect.” Rogue finishes with a giggle, and Levi can’t help but give her a small smile in return, making her heart skip a whole beat. She loves when he smiles, as rare as his smiles are.

“Far from it, brat. What I’m trying to say is, I’m not likely to change…so please don’t expect me to. I don’t do the whole PDA thing or initiate…intimacy or, want sex. Not yet anyway. I’m not saying never…and it’s not like I haven’t thought about it…not that I think about you regularly in that way or…”

“Levi, I understand.” Rogue interrupts before he continues to spill his guts, “I’m not going to ask that you become all lovey dovey with me or that we give each other cute nicknames, or start going at it like rabbits. And I will never EVER, pressure you for sex. I would wait for you forever to be comfortable before we even discuss something like that. And even if you never feel okay with it, you’re forgetting it’s not something I’ve ever experienced anyway. You can’t miss what you’ve never had…hell, I’ve never even been kissed before!”

“Wait, you’re seriously telling me that famous drag sensation and former prostitute Eren Jaeger has never lost his kissing virginity?” Levi jokes with amusement, earning him a smack on the arm and a glare from the drag queen in question.

“Ass!” She exclaims, “And no, I have not. Not a proper kiss anyway.”

Levi lets the new information sink in for a moment, and makes the snap decision not to wait any longer before tilting Rogue’s chin up and softly pressing his mouth to hers, finally indulging in that elusive kiss he’s been craving for so long now.

Her lips are sticky from the gloss she applied hours ago, but warm and soft in a way that can only be discovered from kissing, they’re pillowed and plush, pressing against his in desperate need for more. There’s a very light scratchiness to the kiss, which Levi in the back of his mind recognises as her morning stubble beginning to come through. He pushes the thought away as Rogue lets her hands slip from the tub and wrap around Levi’s shoulders, one running up and through his hair, pulling gently for more attention.

Levi lets her take what she wants for a while longer, kissing back just as firmly and rubbing his hands up and down her curvy sides, caressing the dip of her waist over and over again. He pulls away after one last press of their lips, not allowing their tongues touch, not yet, and leans back to watch her catch her breath once again. Her chest is about as red as the bralette and underwear she’s still wearing.

“How was that?” He asks, in an only slightly teasing tone.

“Amazing.” She answers breathlessly and honestly, “The most amazing thing ever…”

Levi chuckles for a second before giving her one last chaste kiss and stepping away from the tub.

“You need to finish getting washed up, I’ll leave you alone for now and I’ll bathe when you’re done.” He says before moving towards the door, completely forgetting to change the water in the haze of Rogue’s kisses.

“Wait, Levi!” Rogue stops him, “Why don’t you…just get in the tub with me?”

Levi arches a thin eyebrow at the suggestion, causing Rogue to back track in embarrassment.

“Just to get clean I swear! I won’t…touch you anywhere you don’t want me to…and we can keep our underwear on!” She continues, before sighing red-faced, “It was just an idea, we don’t have to.”

“No, it’s fine. I don’t mind, also means we can get to bed a bit faster as well…to sleep, that is.” Levi clarifies, his own embarrassment seeping through at his inadvertent statement.

Once they’ve quickly drained the tub and changed the water, Rogue tries not to stare as Levi strips down to his boxer briefs, thanking her lucky stars that they’re black, she wouldn’t have been able to tear her eyes away if they’d been white.

When they’ve managed to settle together in the water, they start by cleaning themselves first, facing away from eachother as they scrub at their more…private areas, Rogue taking the opportunity to quickly untuck…the sweat and grime of the day rinsing off in rivulets from the handheld hose attached to the tub.

Levi has just finished washing and rinsing his own hair when he addresses Rogue again.

“Do you want to take your wig off and I’ll wash your hair for you?”

In all honesty, she’d completely forget it was on her head, she’d been so used to being ‘Rogue’ all day that it hadn’t occurred to her to remove her hair and make-up. The idea of being truly naked, completely stripped of Rogue, causing a mild anxiety as Levi holds up the hose.

With a deep breath, she removes the bobby pins holding her hair in place, peels off the mess of wig that been practically glued to her head all day and tugs the wig cap aside before placing everything on the floor of the bathroom, forgotten for the time being.

“Do you mind?” Eren asks, gesturing between Levi’s legs.

“Go ahead.” Levi says, spreading his thighs so that Eren slip in between them, facing away as Levi sets the hose aside begins lathering his long, greasy locks with fruity shampoo. Levi’s shampoo, Eren realises with a smile.

Levi’s fingers are thorough and feel like heaven in Eren’s sore scalp, sensitive from the pinching and stabbing of pins and caps all day. It feels so good that he finds himself having to suppress moans of satisfaction numerous times. It’s not sexual in any sense of the word, but the intimacy and connection they both feel at the contact of skin against skin, and the memory of their lips pressed together in a loving kiss, makes both of their breaths hitch in their throats, and neither want it to end.

However, the water temperature has another idea as it starts to run cold, and Levi can feel Eren begin shivering in his arms. Levi does his best to warm the boy up with his hands, but it becomes clear it’s time for them to get out now.

“Do you want to sleep in my bed tonight?” Levi asks softly, fingertips still gently caressing Eren’s cold arms with his ever so slightly warmer hands. He can feel Eren nodding gently before he turns around in his grasp, and Levi notes all traces of the Rogue makeup have now been cleaned off, it is undoubtedly Eren in his arms right here and now.

“Before we go to your room, are you absolutely certain this is where you want to be?” Eren asks shyly, nervous in the newness of no longer hiding behind his Rogue armour tonight, “You don’t want to go back home to Trost?”

Levi is silent for a beat, looks Eren directly in the eyes, steel grey meeting green and gold, and shakes his head.

“This is my home.”

Chapter Text

Chapter 27

Levi wakes up several hours later alone in his own bed, sunlight streaming through the blinds he hadn’t quite closed all the way.

He takes a moment to sit up and stretch, rubbing his still sleep-filled eyes before shifting his gaze to the other side of the bed. The sheets have been pulled back and the comforter is still warm to the touch, so he knows Eren did spend the night here. It hadn’t all just been a wonderful dream.

He lets his mind drift back to the happenings of the night before, how Rogue had stormed off after finding out his plans to move back to Trost, Maria being shot and wounded by a currently unidentified enemy, he and Rogue making their way home together in silence, how he then washed her clean of her friend’s blood and finally told her his real feelings.

He brings his fingertips up to his lips as he remembers their kiss, smiling ever so slightly as he recounts the way her long eyelashes tickled his face as they fluttered close, the way she pulled him closer in desperate longing to feel as much of him as possible, how he tried so hard to convey how bewitched she’s made him feel in the four short months he’s known her all in one little kiss. The best kiss of his life, in fact.

Kissing isn’t a foreign concept to Levi, he’s kissed and been kissed before on many occasions, some welcome and some, at other times, a simple means to an end. Hange had never been one for kissing spontaneously, and Levi had seen no reason to push her, they would kiss if and only when it felt natural to do so. Rico, on the other hand, had been a different kettle of fish entirely, her kisses were hard and demanding, with the underlying plea for more every time. Levi had often found himself kissing her for hours on end as a way to try and make her forget his limitations in what he could do for her as a boyfriend.

He lets his hand fall and is about to get up and out of bed when he hears a soft knocking on his bedroom door before Eren lets himself back in, holding a steaming mug of coffee.

“Hey.” Eren greets with a shy smile, not quite able to meet Levi’s eyes.

“Hey, yourself.” Levi returns with a light smirk of his own.

Something about the way Eren nervously carries himself makes Levi want to tease and taunt until the boy lets his guard down, laughs or calls him a dumb name. Anything to take them away from dancing around each other like teenagers again.

And it’s not like they did anything too naughty to talk about or that would cause the most pious, wholesome of people to blush at the very idea of their sordid antics. They just…slept.

Levi remembers as he and Eren hurriedly towelled themselves dry and retreated hand in hand to his bedroom, where they changed into comfy clothing (Eren borrowing a T-shirt and a pair of Levi’s underwear) before retiring to bed, Levi facing away from Eren as the boy gently lay a hand on his back, his soft breathing lulling both of them into a deep, and in Levi’s case, dreamless sleep.

“I know you don’t like eating or drinking in your room, but I figured you’d still be tired and would need a little help to wake up properly. I could always make you tea if you’d prefer?” Eren offers, and Levi shakes his head, plucking the mug from Eren’s hands and taking a small sip.

“No, this is just what I needed, thank you.” Levi says, sighing gratefully at the bitter taste on his tongue.

“Okay, well…I’ll let you do what you need to do, I’ll be in the living room when you’re ready.” Eren says, turning on his heel to leave just as Levi catches his wrist in his hand.

“Hey, no you don’t! Get back in here.” Levi demands, indicating with a tilt of his head that Eren should get back into his bed. He does so with a little hesitation that seems to melt away as Levi lays them both back against the headboard and wraps his free arm around Eren’s shoulders, bringing him close enough so that their legs and hips are touching.

Eren revels in the attention for a little, deciding to push his luck slightly by resting his head on Levi’s bare shoulder. The man takes the action completely in his stride, however, carding his fingers through Eren’s soft, brown locks absentmindedly as he continues to drink his coffee.

“So…” Eren begins and teeters off.

“So?” Levi prompts, curious to know what he’d wanted to say.

“How did you sleep last night?” He asks shyly, purposely not meeting Levi’s questioning gaze.

It’s a loaded question, they both know it, Eren isn’t simply enquiring about Levi’s sleeping pattern out of sheer interest or concern for the man’s bedroom habits. He wants to know how Levi feels now that the veil has lifted, now that they’re not in immediate danger and Eren isn’t going to disappear before his very eyes. Levi chooses his words carefully.

“Good. Better than I have in a very long time, actually.” And it’s the truth, despite the circumstances, Levi can’t remember a night where he managed to get a solid few hours of continuous sleep with no nightmares. And he’s not a fool to believe it’s simply coincidence that this occurs on the very night he and Eren share a bed for the first time, “What about you?”

“Not fantastically, I managed to sleep for a little while…but every time I closed my eyes, I kept seeing Maria’s blood all over me, everywhere, and I couldn’t get it to wash off. I saw her die in my sleep, not just her though, Jean too, and Mikasa…and you. I had to stay awake after that so I could watch you…make sure you were still breathing.”

Eren’s admission makes Levi’s heart hurt, he’s all too familiar with that feeling, the helplessness of closing your eyes and seeing nothing but death and destruction, the one-time easiness of slumber turning into the hardest part of your whole day. And knowing Eren laid awake all night, simply watching his chest rise and fall with every breath, not daring to wake him for help or comfort, makes Levi feel fuzzy in a way he’s not felt since Isabel called him “big bro” for the first time or when Erwin and Hange called him their “best friend”.

“I’m sorry you had to experience that, and that I wasn’t able to help.” Levi apologises.

“Nah, it’s no big deal, I’m a big boy.” Eren shrugs, “You don’t need to help me with everything.”

“You know that is literally what you pay me for, right? Or do I need to remind you of the terms and conditions of my contract?” Levi deadpans, causing Eren to chuckle and shake his head in exasperation.

“You’re a jerk.” Eren complains.

“Really now? Your usual go to is “Ass”. You seem to have some sort of fascination.”

“Sorry dude, the stick is so deep now you’re basically a walking corndog.”

“That’s disgusting.”

“Hey, corndogs happen to be very nutritious and delicious I’ll have you know!”

“Tch, I’ll take your word for it, brat.”

Eren laughs then, and Levi can see the tension begin to fade slightly. Good, he thinks, Eren can use as little stress as possible right about now.

“Any news on Marco yet?” Levi asks cautiously, not sure he wants to hear the answer.

“Yeah, that’s actually what I wanted to talk to you about. My Dad called, they had to remove part of his large intestine and his spleen because of damage caused by bullet fragments. He’s in for a blood transfusion now and he’ll have to take antibiotics for the rest of his life to prevent serious infections, but he’s alive and that’s the main thing.”

Levi lets the relief wash over and he can feel his body sag even further into his bed, if Eren hadn’t been propping him up, he’s sure he would have collapsed into it right there and then. He places his coffee mug on to the bedside cabinet with a shaky hand and takes a calming breath.

“It’s because of you, you know?” Eren says suddenly, “You’re the reason he survived.”

“Don’t say that, it’s not true.” Levi insists, shaking his head in denial.

“It is true, my Dad said so himself, if it hadn’t been for you taking care of him the way you did, he probably wouldn’t have made it as far as the hospital bed. He’s alive because of you.” Eren argues, leaning closer to Levi so that his arm can wrap around his bare torso, fingertips tracing lightly over his abs as they pass, “Dad’s not sure yet, but Marco might need to use a wheelchair for a while. He thinks one of the fragments damaged some of the nerves and muscles in his back, he obviously can’t test Marco’s ability to walk until he comes to. Jean seems to be taking the news just fine though.”

“He’s probably just happy that his fiancé is going to be okay, all things considered, won’t matter what state he’s in as long as he’s breathing.” Levi says, taking Eren’s hand in his own and giving it a squeeze.

“Oh yeah, shit, I forgot about that.” Eren breathes out a laugh, “If he’s out of commission for however long, no doubt he’ll become Bridezilla in no time at all.”

“Wait, wouldn’t Jean technically be the bride? Seeing as Marco proposed and all? Is there even a bride? Can’t say I know all that much about gay weddings.”

Eren snorts, “Come on Levi, could you honestly picture Jean Kirstein in a dress?”

“Don’t know, I mean he has the legs for it I guess.” Levi says, smirking all the while.

“Ew, why have you even been checking out his hooves? Should I be warning Marco that you’re becoming a little gay for his fiancé?” Eren jokes, wriggling his eyebrows.

“Tch, please, I’m sure Marco knows by now that I’m not ga…” Levi starts to say, before catching himself. Eren looks at him with a little sad smile, and Levi wants nothing more than to undo everything he just said.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean…”

“It’s fine.” Eren says kindly, “Don’t worry about it.”

“No, it’s not fine.” Levi insists, “It was just a slip of the tongue, I honestly wasn’t thinking. I wasn’t trying to say that…”

“Levi, I understand.” Eren interrupts, “This is new, I get it. I’m under no illusions here, this is going to be difficult for you to comprehend for a while. I don’t expect it to be a walk in the park and honestly, I don’t want it to be easy. Easy is boring.” He winks.

“I just don’t want you getting the wrong idea and thinking I don’t want to be with you, because I do. It’s all I’ve been able to think about. But I…never expected to feel this way…for another man. I…don’t know what this makes me.” Levi admits sheepishly.

“And you don’t have to know, who says you have to put a label on it? All that matters is that we’re together and we want to be with each other, right?”

Levi nods, “I won’t lie to you and say that I don’t think about Rogue, and that she wasn’t who I fell for…because she was. Whenever I thought about this, about us…it was always with you as Rogue.”

“And Rogue is me, a part of me at least, I can’t fault you for wanting her.” Eren shrugs, “But she’s not the whole package, she’s only a small part of who I am, as you well know. I’m a man, I’m very comfortable in my masculinity and that’s not about to change. You need to be okay with that.”

“I’m here, aren’t I? If I didn’t want this, I’d be back in Trost right now, shooter be damned. I want you Eren, god knows why but I do…there are just so many contradictions playing around in my head, it’s going to take me some time to get used to that, and to accept it about myself.”

Eren nods slowly, gears beginning to visibly turn as he thinks.

“Then the least I can do is help you with that.”

“What do you mean by that?” Levi asks, head tilted in confusion.

Eren removes Levi’s arm from his shoulder suddenly and sits up rather abruptly, facing Levi with his legs crossed underneath him.

“Your brain is contradicting itself because of what happened when you saw Armin with those guys, your experiences with male on male contact have caused you to see them as nothing but disgusting and something unnatural, yet you see Marco and Jean together and know they’re happy, but you still have to turn your head away from them when they show affection.”

“I don’t do that…” Levi denies half-heartedly.

“Yes, you do, I’ve seen you.” Eren insists, “So, it’s as if your perception of men being with other men has been tarnished all because of what they did…it’s like PTSD.”

“I guess so, but then what does that mean for us? I’ve trying to forget and repress it, but it’s always in my head, it doesn’t go away.” Levi says sadly.

“Well,” Eren begins, “Then how about instead of trying to repress your bad memories, we simply try and attempt to create good memories together? So that, in theory, when you think about a man being with another man, you don’t think about what they did…you just think about you and me, and all the amazing things we’ll do with each other.”

It makes sense in Levi’s head, sounds perfect in fact, but there’s one glaring flaw in Eren’s plan.

“I would be open to trying…but how do we get to that stage when the idea of kissing or touching other men feels…wrong….to me?” Levi asks, eyes downcast as he says the words.

“That’s the brilliant part,” Eren grins, “I was thinking that to start off, I could start dressing more like Rogue around the house, and if we’re to go out on dates, I could go as her? A more reserved version of course, but her nonetheless.”

Levi gapes at him, “Eren, I couldn’t ask you to do that. When we met, you told me that the one thing you wanted was for people to see the real you, not the one you portray on stage. How could I let you walk around thinking the real you isn’t good enough for me and taking away your masculinity like that?”

Eren smiles at him then, “Because you’re willing to try for me. You’re putting your biggest fear to one side and taking a chance on this. And you didn’t leave…you still could have, but you stayed for me. What kind of boyfriend would I be, if I didn’t make the allowances you’re making for me just by being here?”

Levi is silent for a long while, simply looking at Eren with what can only be described as reverence.

“I love you.” Levi declares awestruck, meaning every single word and making Eren chuckle lightly.

“I love you too.” Eren assures him, leaning in for a quick, chaste kiss, before remembering himself and pecking Levi on the cheek instead.

“One other thing.” Eren says after a minute, “As you know, our friends are crazy.”

“Definitely, continue.” Levi says, expressionless.

“Well, my family are just as bad, and as I’ve never been in a real relationship before, if I tell them about us, they’re bound to be as enthusiastic as pigs in shit.” Eren states, causing Levi to snort in amusement, leaving Eren glaring at him and telling him to act his age, not his height.

“What I’m trying to say,” Eren clarifies, “is that if we’re both trying to get used to being out of our comfort zones, maybe it’s not the best idea to have our friends breathing down our necks with this?”

Levi ponders this, “I think you may be right about that, so you’re saying we should remain incognito?”

“For the time being, yes. Just until things with Marco calm down and we’re a little less green than we are now.”

“Alright, that’s fair, we’ll say nothing.” Levi agrees, and Eren hops up off the bed with enthusiasm.

“Cool, now as much as I’d love to stay in bed with you all day, I promised Jean we’d meet him at the hospital today. Did you want to use the shower first?” Eren asks.

“You can go first, I haven’t checked my phone yet and you smell much worse than I do.” Levi teases with a smirk.

“Oh, you’re an ass!”

“And here I thought you said something about my ass being delicious?”

“Yeah, yeah” Eren rolls his eyes, leaving the room and Levi to his own devices.

Allowing himself to smile a little at Eren’s retreating back, he grabs his phone to find a myriad of missed calls and voicemail messages from Hange, no doubt having heard about the shooting and worrying herself sick over his and Eren’s wellbeing.

He considers giving her a quick call until he notices he also has a text message from Erwin from this morning, just one. It stands out clearer than everything else on his screen and he can’t keep him from opening it any longer. He clicks on the little notification and he’s transported to his chat history with his best friend. And right at the very bottom reads the words.

‘Trail ran cold. Shooter working on behalf of someone else. Found out something interesting. Meet me tonight at 6pm. I’ll send address details later. Don’t be late.’

Chapter Text

Chapter 28

Shiganshina General Hospital turns out to be your stereotypically massive building with a tonne of windows like the ones you see on TV, the dullness of today’s weather making it look eerily imposing against the grey skyline. It’s almost unsettling to look at, so Levi prefers to keep his eyes securely on the road and hunts to find a parking space with Eren’s – again, awful – sense of direction. Although, with the night the boy has had, he feels less inclined to give Eren shit about it this time.

When Levi has fully stopped the car and parked up, he notices from the corner of his eye that Eren is looking a bit overwhelmed, as if the idea of what’s potentially waiting for him inside those walls is just a little too much for him to handle at this moment in time. Levi decides to play his newly acquired boyfriend card and reaches over to take one of Eren’s slightly shaking hands in his own, squeezing gently in a comforting manner.

“Hey, it’s going to be okay, alright? Marco is in the best place possible and your dad told you he’s doing good all things considered. He may even be awake by now.” Levi offers reassuringly, still clasping on to Eren’s hand, which isn’t trembling so badly anymore under Levi’s gentle touch.

Eren nods, “I know, it’s just…a lot, I guess?” He says, not quite looking at Levi, and Levi nods because he understands, of course he does.

“Well I’ll be here with you, so you can share some of the burden with me. We’re together now, and Marco is my friend too, you don’t have to feel like you’re alone in this. Not anymore.” Levi assures and Eren raises his gaze to the man, giving him a shy, grateful smile in return.

Levi squeezes Eren’s hand one last time and then lets go as they make their way out of the car and into the overly large, intimidating hospital building.

Eren clearly knows the place like the back of his hand, as he leads Levi through a number of doors and down several corridors without even glancing at the signs on the walls, taking them straight towards the little area marked reception. It’s astonishing to Levi that Eren can seem to navigate the hospital with perfect ease despite him getting them lost almost every time they venture out on drives when Levi is unfamiliar with where they’re going.

Levi, in order to keep up their pretence of appearing solely as employer/employee, stands a respectable few paces behind as Eren as the younger man chats to the receptionist, an older woman with grey, almost white hair who looks rather delighted to see him. She obviously knows him rather well. Levi hears him thank her profusely and Eren is soon gesturing for him to follow him down yet another long corridor towards an elevator.

As they make their way past several doctors, nurses and other members of hospital staff, a lot of them say hello to Eren and he greets most of them back by name. It surprises Levi at first, until he remembers that Eren’s father has worked here since Eren was born, so he’d probably spent a good chunk of his childhood in this hospital, it’s no wonder almost everybody knows him or at least knows of him.

When they step into the elevator, Levi takes the time to properly assess Eren over again. The shaky hands and hanging head seem to be a thing of the past as Eren stands tall, determined and confident, like he’s ready to take on the whole damn world. It’s a solid front, and if Levi hadn’t known Eren any better he would have believed it himself. But Levi does know Eren and knows that it’s taking everything Eren has not to crumble right there in the elevator.

Levi wants to place a comforting hand on his back or tell him he’s alright, that Levi’s here and that nothing bad is going to happen to him again, But there are people in the elevator with them, and they promised to keep things under wraps for now, also Levi is a little unsure of how true is statement is, as he has no clue of what they’ll be faced with either. The only thing he is sure of, is that he has no plans of leaving Eren again, come what may.

They exit the elevator after it stops on their desired floor, turn to the left and walk down another long corridor, passing a number of occupied rooms housing patients on their way. As they reach the midway point, a middle-aged man with glasses and long, brunet hair tied back in a low ponytail raises his hand in greeting from the other end of the corridor and Eren returns it. The man wears a long, white coat and a stethoscope, but as Levi and Eren walk closer it’s his eyes that are the giveaway, both of them bright green and shining like one of Eren’s own. This is, without a doubt, Eren’s father.

“Reception paged me to tell me you were here.” The doctor says by way of explanation, wrapping Eren in a hug as soon as he’s close enough, “How have you been son?”

“Been better, Dad.” Eren says, slightly choked up as he pulls away from his father, “Any update on how Marco’s doing?”

“Pretty much the same as this morning, but he has woken up and Jean got him talking a little bit. It’s only a word here and there from what I’ve seen, he’s still very drowsy and he’ll be in a lot of pain, so we’ve had to keep him sedated. But so far, the surgery looks to have been a success and I think he’s on his way to making a full recovery.” Eren’s dad says, and Levi can almost literally feel the breath being knocked right out of him at the words. Truthfully, he’d been a little more worried than he’d let on to Eren all day and night.

“Oh my god.” Eren exclaims, hand coming up to rest on his chance, “Dad you’re amazing, thank you so much.”

“Enough of that now.” The man says with amusement becoming serious once again, “There’s still the matter of the removed spleen. Like I said to Jean, it’s going to be difficult for Marco to get used to the fact he’ll need to be vigilant about trying not to get sick in future, and when he does get sick, it will be much harder for him to fight it naturally. He currently has an infection from his wound, so he’ll need to stay here for a while longer and then stay off his feet once he’s discharged. And speaking of that, we still haven’t been able to check if the damage to his back is how I feared, so that also remains to be seen. But he’s alive, and well for the most part, and I can’t take the entire credit for that one.” He says, tilting his head towards Levi, acknowledging his presence for the first time since their arrival.

“Dad, this is Levi Ackerman, he’s the man who’s been looking out for me. I told you about him earlier today?” Eren offers, gesturing between Levi and his father.

“I figured that.” Eren’s father says chuckling to himself before extending his hand towards Levi, “It’s nice to meet you Mr Ackerman, although I do wish that it had been under better circumstances. You can call me Grisha.”

“Likewise, sir, and please call me Levi.” Levi says, shaking Grisha’s hand politely in return. Grisha nods and asks them both to follow him into the hospital room just adjacent to where they stand.

The room itself is rather on the large side, as the others had been as they passed, Levi noticed that almost immediately. The walls are pure white, as is the rest of the room with the exception of the cushioned visitors’ chairs which are a mint green and the little blanket over the bed which is an ocean blue. Under said blanket lays Marco with an oxygen mask over his face, he’s hooked up to several machines which beep periodically, and his eyes are open but drooping closed every few seconds as if even blinking is a chore for him. He and Jean – who is sitting as close to Marco as humanly possible without snagging any of his wires – both look over as Grisha re-enters the room with Levi and Eren in tow.

Eren practically runs to Marco as soon as he spots him, mindful of the machines as he clutches Marco’s other hand and leans over to kiss his forehead. Marco smiles softly when he sees Eren and Jean looks at them both with a fond expression. Levi is so relieved to see Marco moving around and breathing – although not without effort – that he almost wants to rush over himself, however this is their moment and he doesn’t want to intrude.

In fact, he’s about to leave them to it and take his place just outside the room, when Marco removes one of his hands from Jean’s grasp and stretches it out in Levi’s direction. Jean and Eren both follow the movement and their eyes land on Levi also. It’s strange having 8 pairs of eyes on you all at once – as Grisha is now watching Levi too – and he’s unsure of what he’s supposed to do until Marco’s fingers twitch in an unmistakeable ‘come hither’ motion. Unable and unwilling to argue with the bed-bound drag queen he’s come to know as his friend, Levi moves himself over to her side, the side that Jean is currently on. With a pat to Levi’s back, Jean shifts out of the way so that Levi can take his place.

Levi doesn’t quite know what to do with himself and is about to apologise for his awkwardness when Marco raises his shaking hand once again to pat his fingers across Levi’s cool cheek. The gesture is sweet, almost motherly and his touch is soft and reassuring, and Levi is about to object, about to tell him that he should be resting when he hears it, hears the words that Marco is desperately trying to croak out.

“T-Thank you, L-Levi.” Marco says behind his oxygen mask, “Thank you.”

For once, Levi is stunned silent and Eren is looking over at them with the biggest grin on his face. Jean is also smiling at the scene and Grisha nods in Levi’s direction before making himself scarce. He wants to argue, wants to say that he’s unworthy of their thanks, that Grisha did all the work not him, and that he was only doing what anyone would have done. But he knows that Marco is in no condition to listen, and that they’ll all continue to thank him regardless, so he says nothing, simply looking back down at Marco, completely unaware of the drop of moisture that’s escaped from the corner of his eye.

+++

After around 20 minutes, Levi excuses himself from the group to go and grab them some coffees, as despite the few hours of sleep he managed earlier that morning, they are all running on fumes. Jean especially, who looks almost dead on his feet.

He makes his way out of the room and down the corridor, and is about to go in search of some directions or find someone to ask where the nearest machine is when he hears someone come up behind him.

“Levi, wait up a second!” Jean calls out and is almost jogging to catch up with Levi, who swivels around at the sound of his name.

“What’s the matter? Is it Marco? I was only gone for a minute…” Levi asks, and Jean raises a hand to cut him off, giving him a dumb half-smile in his goofy way to say everything is okay. Levi can’t help but find it endearing on this occasion, when any other time he would have scowled at the younger man and told him to wipe the stupid look off his face.

“Yeah, he’s fine, he and Eren are talking right now, making amends for last night or whatever. They’ve fought before and no doubt they’ll fight again, but they’ll be alright in the end, always are. But actually, I came out here to speak to you about something…actually, it’s more to ask you something really.” Jean says awkwardly, shifting from foot to foot and scratching at the back of his neck.

“Okay, then spit it out kid, I’m getting constipated just looking at you.” Levi says to lighten the mood and Jean laughs heartily in response, slightly stunning a nurse passing him by for a second. Levi resists the urge to snort at his stupidity, honestly Jean and Eren are so similar it’s a wonder that they are constantly at eachother’s throats.

“Right, well, the thing is, since Marco woke up a few hours ago, he and I have been talking a lot. He was actually a lot chattier earlier, I think I might have worn him out.” Jean laughs a little nervously, “But anyway, he brought up the wedding and we agreed that we want to get married as soon as possible.”

Levi raises an eyebrow at this, “Are you sure about that Jean? Maybe you should both take some time to yourselves before you think about something like that, enjoy being engaged for a little while? You’ve just been through a shock, and you’ve seen your whole lives flash before you, it’s only natural you’re feeling vulnerable and want to solidify your commitment to eachother.”

Jean nods, “You’re right in a way, but honestly? Marco and I should have done this a long time ago, we’ve just always put it off…or I have, to be honest. You see, the thing is, Marco and his parents moved here about 10 years ago from Jinae, and we got together when we were 15. But even though we’ve been with eachother since we were kids, my parents…well, my dad, believed this was just a phase and that I’d grow out of it. Since then we’ve just sort of kept our relationship out of his way, he didn’t seem so mad when he couldn’t see it in front of him, so we’ve never really done anything…meaningful like marriage, I guess.”

Levi cringes internally at this statement, knowing that he’d been and somewhat is, still of the opinion that Jean’s father holds of his son and his partner. He’d known to an extent that Jean’s family were difficult when it came to the subject of Marco, not so much his mother, but his father definitely, but hearing it out loud makes him angry. It makes him angry that a man who is supposed to love his son unconditionally could look at Jean and Marco, and see anything but the amazing relationship they have with eachother. The love they share is something that not even Levi can deny, and Levi’s contempt for Jean’s father in this moment shakes him to his core. How can he feel this way about a man he’s never met…when he’s felt similarly for an incredibly long time now? What makes him so different? Is it Eren? Are his feelings for Eren and his friendship with Jean and Marco what make him different?

“But things are different now,” Jean continues, “I love Marco, and I’ve seen what it would be like to lose him. And I swear, I will never ever take him for granted again. I’ve loved Marco and have wanted to marry him since we were teenagers, and I’m not scared anymore. I’ve never been so sure of anything in my life, and if it means my parents never want to see or speak to me again…then I can live with that. I can’t live without Marco.”

Levi nods, “Then don’t let him go. Keep him close and do all of those things you’ve been wanting to do but been too afraid to. You two live together, you own a club together, you bring out the best in eachother…so do what’s best for you, nobody else, and do it without any regrets. Now, what was it you wanted to ask me?”

“Sorry about that, I almost forgot. Marco will be asking Eren now if he wants to be his best man at the wedding. We’ve talked about marriage before, and Marco always said he’d ask Eren if we ever did it. I’ve never thought about it all that much, but I assumed I would ask Connie if the time ever came. But now I know for certain exactly who I want up there with me. Levi, will you be my best man?” Jean asks, twisting his fingers together in nervous gesture and still smiling like the dumb dork he is.

Levi is so taken aback by the question, that he feels as if all the English words in his brain have fallen out of his ass, and it takes him a full minute before he can say a thing, yet Jean still waits for him, smiling all the while as he patiently waits for an answer.

“I…I don’t quite know what to say. I know that we’re friends and everything, and you’re sure about the wedding and all…but have you really thought this through? Are you sure you don’t want to have Connie instead? He is one of your best friends and I don’t want you offering me this if you think you need to repay me in some way…”

“It’s not like that!” Jean defends himself, “Not at all. Yes, you saved Marco’s life, and don’t argue because you were just as responsible for that as Dr Jaeger, he wouldn’t even have gotten here if it hadn’t been for you. But that’s not the reason Levi, I’d like to think you and I have become good friends since we met, in fact if I’m honest I’ve been counting you in my head as one of my best friends for a while now. We see eachother all the time and you’re without a doubt one of the coolest people I’ve ever met in my life. And please don’t feel bad if you don’t think of me like this, I just wanted you to know.” Jean says, eyes downcast a little in embarrassment, clearly he hadn’t been planning on revealing so much to Levi about his thoughts on their friendship.

“Tch, don’t be stupid kid, of course we’re friends. I wouldn’t put up with your lame ass if I didn’t think of you as such. It’s just that I’ve never had many friends in my life, I’ve only ever really had Erwin and Hange, and now Eren…but all of my other friends…well, I’ve lost them all over time in one way or another. But I do think you’re a cool kid, and yes, I do think of you as a good friend, a best friend even if you give me time to comprehend that. Still, I am a little concerned you aren’t asking Connie…”

Jean chuckles at this, “Actually, Connie will be fine with the decision, you see he never asked me to be his best man when he married Sasha. He asked his brother instead, one that he hardly ever talks to at that! I swore I’d get revenge on him for that one, and so he’ll probably just laugh it off when I tell him I picked you instead. But on top of that, I really want you to be my best man. You saved Marco’s life, you’ve been a great friend to me and honestly? You’ve been an incredible influence on Eren. He’s been far less of a pain in the ass since you’ve been around…and I can see he really cares about you.”

Levi takes a deep breath, “You know Jean, I wasn’t comfortable in the beginning…being brought into your lifestyle in the way I have. But having said that, I don’t think I’ve ever met such a nice group of people in my life. You knew I was a piece of shit, yet you still invited me into your home, into your lives, into your family…I will always be grateful for that, and I’m sorry for how I treated you all back then too. Even now…I’m still getting used to things. And in terms of your offer, I would be incredibly honoured to stand as your best man…I can’t promise that I will be a “best” man for you, as this is still relatively new for me, but I do promise that I will do my best to be a good one for you both.” Levi finishes, and it’s the most honest he’s ever been with Jean, and he can’t help but feel a weight lifted.

Jean full on beams at him, “Thanks Levi, you don’t know how happy that makes me. And…please don’t take this the wrong way, but I really don’t think you understand yourself one little bit. None of us have ever thought you’ve been a piece of shit. Ill informed? Troubled? Hesitant? Yes, maybe. But we just wanted you to see us for who we are, and you have done exactly that. And you…well, I don’t have to tell you all about everything you’ve done for all of us, and selflessly at that. I think you underestimate yourself…I think that, without a doubt, you’re already a good man.” Jean says, and Levi can’t think of anything more to say, not that Jean lets him anyway.

Without another word, Jean pats Levi on the shoulder with a smile and walks back towards Marco’s room, leaving Levi in the corridor all by himself with his disbelief.

+++

Levi is just about managing to work the coffee machine in the lobby, and is placing a sealed cup in a holder on the side counter when Eren walks in. It’s just the two of them in the room, and Eren grins at him.

“He’s doing so well, I didn’t think he’d be so awake right now, but he’s up there chatting away. He even flirted with one the nurses when she came by to give him his medicine. Poor girl didn’t stand a chance.” Eren laughs and Levi snorts in amusement.

“Well he’s a strong one, I’ve always known that about him. He’s so sure of himself, whether he’s Maria or not, you can’t help but feel drawn to him. Don’t think any of us should have doubted him in the first place.” Levi says, filling up another cup and placing it in the little holder. Eren moves beside him and leans on the counter-top next to the machine.

“Perhaps you’re right. Listen, Levi…” Eren begins, but Levi’s glare stops him in his tracks.

“Please don’t say ‘Thank you’ again, honestly I’ve had enough for today. Your father did all the work and I’m getting far too much credit for doing some simple first aid. I’m happy, ecstatic even, that it all paid off in the end, but all this praise is just getting to be a little too much. In my life, you never got thanked for doing something as simple as that, it was just expected of you and then you just got on with things. I’m not used to all this.” Levi says shyly, and it’s all Levi can do not to grab him and kiss him senseless.

“Okay, I won’t say thank you, but I do want you to know how much your support has meant to me in these last 24 hours. I…love you, and I can’t imagine doing this without you.” Eren says, eyes on the floor. Levi puts the cup he’d been filling down and places fingers under Eren’s chin, so they’re eye to eye.

“Silly brat. There’s nowhere in the world I’d rather be. I love you too, I mean it.” Levi says, and Eren breaks out into a smile. Levi removes his hand but doesn’t leave Eren alone just yet.

“I also heard that Jean asked you to be his best man.” Eren says teasingly, “How do you feel about walking me down the aisle when the day comes?”

“Tch, that’s right. Are you gonna be wearing a suit or a bridesmaid’s dress then?” Levi asks with a smirk and Eren giggles.

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” Eren asks mischievously, before pulling Levi close and kissing him on the lips.

Eren has to lean down to do so, and Levi is fully focused on the fact that this is the first time they’ve kissed while Eren has been out of drag completely. He doesn’t let it deter him though, and he determinedly pulls Eren closer, sinking his hands into the softness of Eren’s grey sweater and running his fingers of one hand through his loose brown hair. The younger man had cut himself shaving this morning in his eagerness to get to the hospital, and Levi finds himself nuzzling the little spot next to his lips.

Eren whimpers softly when Levi does that, and finds himself pulling Levi even closer, deepening their kiss further without opening his mouth to offer Levi entry just yet. He uses his hands to grip Levi’s hips tightly and smiles into the kiss before Levi shocks him by nibbling his lower lip gently. Eren is just about to open his mouth and probe Levi’s own with his tongue to beg for entry…when the door opens, and Grisha Jaeger enters the lobby.

The two spring apart like they’ve been burned with scolding hot water, attempting to act natural as Levi continues pouring one coffee more than he needs and Eren looks around stupidly like he’s just spotted an incredibly interesting spot on the wall. However, one look at Grisha’s face shows that he’s not convinced in the slightest and looks at the pair of them in amusement for a few seconds before putting them out of their misery.

“So, I’m guessing this is a new development then? One you wish to keep under wraps? Either that, or Levi must have a bad case of haemorrhoids and Eren, you must have a stigmatism. Do you want me to refer you to some specialists or do you want to tell me why you both look like you’re in pain?” Grisha asks, barely hiding his smirk and the mirth in his tone. Eren looks timidly to Levi, tittering uncomfortably before Levi rolls his eyes.

“Yes sir, we’re together, and it’s fairly new so we don’t wish to tell anyone about us just yet. Because of what’s happened with Marco and, to be frank sir, all of our friends are fucking crazy.” Levi says honestly, not wanting to beat about the bush about it any longer.

Eren stares at him wide-eyed but Grisha just laughs at the crassness of Levi’s statement, “Duly noted, I’ve met most of your group…and I know my daughter…I can see why you’d want to keep this to yourselves for the time-being, your secret is safe with me, for now. But Levi, you must come over for dinner at our house some time, my wife Carla would no doubt love to meet the man our son has been mooning over for months.”

“Mooning over?! What are you talking about, I only told you about him last night!” Eren snaps defensively.

“Yes, and you were very informative on how amazing this Levi is…and what was the word you used? Incredible?” Grisha offers teasingly, clearly revelling in his son’s discomfort to the point even Levi has to smirk at the sight.

“Oh my god, you’re so embarrassing! What did I ever do to deserve a father like you?!” Eren laments with a pout, grabbing a coffee out of Levi’s holder and storming out of the room in a mortified huff.

Grisha simply chuckles at Eren’s retreating back and locks eyes with Levi, who blushes at the thought of Eren’s dad catching them making out practically on the counter.

“I must admit, I’m pulling his leg a little…Mikasa told me about you months ago. I had been a little concerned when she referred to you as an arrogant, short-ass, bastard, but she’s always been one to exaggerate, especially when it comes to Eren. But she soon changed her tune, so I didn’t think too much of it. She did say my son has become rather fond of you, and now I’ve seen it for myself, I would have to agree.” Grisha says, smiling the entire time.

“Oh…uhh, do you want this?” Levi asks lamely, holding out the cup of coffee in his hands awkwardly, “I made one too many and I figured this is why you’re probably here right?”

“Yes, thank you.” Grisha responds gratefully, taking the cup from Levi’s hands, “But no need to be so nervous, I’m not going to tear your head off. Actually, I’m rather glad I was able to meet you today. I’m not lying when I say I knew how fond Eren is of you, he’s never been one to be good at hiding his feelings, and I have to say, from the little I know about you. I’m rather glad. You seem good for him.”

“Really? I-I mean, Mikasa wasn’t my biggest fan when we met, and I’ve not exactly been all that forthcoming to her since then.” Levi says, cursing himself internally for stuttering like an idiot.

“Maybe not, but she’s also a good judge of character and believe me when I say, if she really deemed you unworthy, you wouldn’t be here. That girl would make your life a living hell, sooner than see you sticking close to her brother. It says enough to me that she changed her mind about you. And honestly, from what I’ve heard, I also think she respects you, not that she would say it outright. And I can see why, what you did for Marco yesterday, well, let’s just say that there is a good chance I would have never seen him alive again if you hadn’t stepped in. And I’ve seen the way you’ve been reacting to people telling you that, you’ve been underestimating your involvement. But if nothing else, take it from me, I’m a doctor. You helped save that man’s life.” Grisha assures him, sipping his coffee as he watches Levi through his long lashes, he has a lot of Eren’s mannerisms and it’s a little unsettling to Levi.

“I…Okay, I’ll take it from you because you truly did the work that saved his life. Thank you for that. And I’m truly grateful for your words, and I promise you sir, I will do my best to take good care of Eren so that he will never end up in Marco’s place. I swear on my life I’ll do what it takes to protect him.” Levi says honestly, looking up at Grisha with sheer determination.

“I never doubted that for one second, I also heard about how you leaped in front of him. That shooter could just as easily have been aiming for Eren, and you put my son’s life before your own. I don’t think you realise how much that truly means to me, to his mother, and everyone he knows. I don’t think there is anyone better equipped to take care of my son, and I completely entrust his life to you.” Grisha says, using his free hand to pat Levi on the back with a smile, and Levi’s shoulders droop in relief at the action.

“Thank you, sir” Levi says, and Grisha waves him off, reminding him once again to call him Grisha.

“Can you just do me one favour Levi? And I understand if you don’t take this to heart, but please at least hear me out anyway.” Grisha requests, and Levi nods an affirmative, “Take care of yourself too. You’ve spoken highly of my son, and how you will give your own life to protect his. But please, don’t do that lightly. I can tell you right now that Eren would never be the same if he lost you, and that’s purely based on how little I know about you, it’s just sheer observation and what i’ve heard from Mikasa. Your life is important too, don’t give yours away so easily.”

Levi takes a moment to think about this, think about how Eren would feel if he knew Levi would risk his life a million times over if it meant that young boy with the vibrant eyes could go on living himself. It hadn’t even occurred to Levi the extent of which he would be willing to go to protect Eren, but he knows now that he’s said it out loud, that it’s true, it’s so true that the thought frightens him.

Still, Levi shakes the thoughts from his head and nods to Grisha once again, “I will do my best Grisha, to take care of both myself and Eren to the best of my abilities.”

“That’s what I like to hear, son.” Grisha says with an honest smile, and Levi feels himself blushing in response. He picks up the coffees in the holder and makes to leave the room so that he can take them upstairs to Jean and Marco.

“Oh, and just so you know,” Grisha begins, “I’ll be sure to keep your secret from my wife a little longer, as she is also a little, as you described “fucking crazy.”

Levi feels himself snorting before he can help it, and hurries out of the room in embarrassment as he hears Grisha laughing to himself from all the way down the corridor.

Chapter Text

Chapter 29

At 6pm sharp, Levi arrives at the address Erwin had texted him this morning. He’d left Eren at the hospital after Grisha had offered to give him a ride home later night so that Levi could get on with his errands, an offer he’d been thankful for as he could see Eren wasn’t quite ready to leave Jean and Marco just yet, and forcing him from his friends’ sides so he could go and see Erwin just seemed cruel at this stage.

The location, to Levi’s surprise, happens to be a church that he’s passed in the car on several occasions, but is unable to remember the name of. He parks the car a little down the street and steps out, surveying the area as he makes his way to the front entrance. He almost thinks he’s at the wrong place, until Erwin steps out of the large, wooden front door to meet him.

“Erwin, what were you doing in there? What is this all about?” Levi asks, slightly demanding in his confused state. Erwin, however, is unphased by Levi’s tone and simply shakes his head before ushering him inside.

“No time to explain, I’m afraid. But there’s someone here who wishes to speak with us, he reached out to me last night on my way back to the club. He says he has some information but doesn’t wish to speak to the police about it, says it could be beneficial to our cause.” Erwin says in way of explanation, leading Levi down the aisle of the church, the smell of recently burned incense stinging his eyes as he passes rows and rows of pews before his friend is leading him into a room at the very back of the house of worship.

Erwin opens the door without knocking and steps inside with Levi in tow. To the smaller man’s disbelief, inside the room and situated behind a minimalistic desk with two free chairs in front of it, sits Pastor Nick with his hands clasped under his chin and eyes closed in what looks to be prayer. Not that Levi is all that familiar with the concept, he hasn’t prayed in an incredibly long time.

“Pastor?” Levi calls out in almost a whisper, and Nick opens his eyes slowly to look up at Levi.

“Good Evening Levi, we meet again, although I had rather hoped our next meeting would be you attending one of my sermons. I take it our conversation yesterday did nothing to deter your feelings on the matter?” Pastor Nick asks, tilting his head at Levi and the smaller man can’t help but feel uncomfortable at the gaze from those dark eyes.

“Can’t say it has Pastor. Although I am rather confused, you were the one who called us here? What could you possibly have to say that could help us in any way? As I recall, your entire little group were the ones causing a ruckus last night after you gave me your word that you’d keep it under control. And now, another man has been shot.” Levi glares at the Pastor accusingly and Erwin steps slightly in front of him to calm him down.

“Levi please, Pastor Nick here reached out last night by way of an olive branch. He understands that last night got out of hand and wishes to make amends by telling us what we need to know.” Erwin explains, but Levi isn’t so easily convinced by his friend’s attempt to keep the peace.

“And what makes you believe that we can trust a single thing that comes out of that man’s mouth? Huh Erwin? Don’t you think it’s all just a little a little too convenient that every time there is a commotion caused by this man and his ‘flock’, there happens to be a Titan attack right at that very moment? It’s happened three times now.” Levi spits, and this is when Pastor Nick chooses to speak up again.

“Exactly, it’s been three times now, that’s not by chance. At first, I thought it was a coincidence when those boys were shot in Trost, we were just there as peaceful protestors looking to spread our message when the guns went off. We left immediately and we didn’t even hear until the next morning that a man had died. Then a couple of months later we were informed that there would be a rather large crowd at that club in Karanes, The Basement, a bigger crowd means a larger audience, so we decided to go. Things got a little heated then too, some of the patrons didn’t appreciate our presence there…”

“Well, no shit.” Levi interjects, rolling his eyes and folding his arms in irritation. Erwin places a hand on his shoulder and Nick continues, unperturbed.

“It’s a public area, so long as we don’t step foot inside the premises, we aren’t causing a problem. I made sure to remind my group of that after that unfortunate incident at Maria’s bar near the start of the year.” Pastor Nick says with a grimace.

“So, you admit it? That was your doing?” Levi asks angrily, “You are the head of the Titans? You’ve been writing the hate messages, the pamphlets, the online groups…you’re responsible for the shootings?!”

“That’s what I’m trying to explain. Yes, we infiltrated Maria’s bar that time, but I wasn’t there on that occasion, they just got a little rowdy and tried to push their luck a bit. After Ray was beaten half to death, I made sure they all knew better than to try that again. And I’ll admit to the hate messages and everything else. But the shootings, we are NOT responsible for. We are not the Titans…at least not completely. I think somebody is trying to frame us in that regard.” Pastor Nick states, taking the time to look both Erwin and Levi directly in the eye, and Levi notices for the first time that there is a slight tremor in the man’s speech, almost like he’s feeling way out of his depth.

“That’s quite the accusation you’re making, Pastor.” Erwin states casually, “What evidence do you have to back up your claim?”

“Truthfully, I have none. That’s why I haven’t gone to the police with this information. Our…methods of protest thus far are questionable enough that the police would have no problem throwing the book at us and deeming us a bunch of murdering, religious maniacs. I would never allow my parish to take the fall for this, they are good people, truly they are…I know you won’t believe me, but not one of them has what it takes to be a killer.” The Pastor implores, eyes begging for the pair to believe his words.

He can’t say that he believes the corrupt Pastor entirely but remembering the young boys who helped Annie bring in the ambulance for Marco the night prior gives him something to think about. They were practically kids and looked scared shitless as far as Levi can remember, neither of them looking like the standard scumbag one would picture when envisioning the Titans. Then again, as Levi well knows, looks can be deceiving.

“So, say we were to believe you? We take you and your parish’s names away from the equation, we stop sniffing around your cause and we rule you out as the Titans all together. Where does that leave us? We have no leads, no idea of what we’re looking for…how can you know that you’re being framed? You must have some suspicions of your own if you’re so keen to share this with us.” Levi muses aloud, and even Erwin raises his thick eyebrows at this, moving to take a seat in front of Pastor Nick’s desk, waiting for his answer.

Nick sighs before nodding his assent, “You’re right, I do have my suspicions. But you must understand, that by telling you all of this, I’m breaking the trust that my parish have put in me, the confidentiality that is expected of me when it comes to the sanctity of confession, you have to realise the gravity of that, and know that I don’t do this lightly. Please remember that before you decide to act.”

Levi says nothing, standing stock still with his arms crossed, but Erwin leans over and places his elbows on the man’s desk.

“Pastor, you have invited us into your place of worship in order to help us, you are directly opposed to our client’s way of life, his choices and his cause, you have nothing to gain by bringing us here and giving us this information. I can’t speak for Levi, but I don’t believe you would do such a thing unless you had a very good reason or a big enough hunch that you would put yourself and your entire community at risk. So, with that in mind, we will treat your claim with the utmost respect and consideration. I am also a man of my word, and I give you my word on this.” Erwin assures him and Levi sees the Pastor’s gaze flicker over to himself before the man closes his eyes and takes a deep breath.
“Every time we have been present at a large event where a shooting has occurred, we were always given the event information externally. The people who tipped us off about the clubs…they never actually came with us for the protest. They weren’t people who were ever affiliated with our group, nor had they ever expressed any desire to be.” Nick reveals, and Levi narrows his eyes at him, walks over to the desk and slams his fist down on it harshly.

“So, you were told were to go, by people not directly involved with your group, and those times just seemed to magically co-incide with the dates when all of those innocent men were shot? Some of them died, Nick, and you didn’t think to report it to the police? Instead you decided to go along for the show when you could have easily prevented it from happening?” Levi snarls, and Erwin has to hold him back with his prosthetic arm to stop Levi leaping over the table and attacking the Pastor.

“There was no way to tell that there was a pattern until now. Every time there has been a tip off, it’s come from a different person and the locations were so far apart that it didn’t occur to me to think that there would be a shooting until it happened. And it’s not like tip offs are uncommon, all of my activists are vigilant and dedicated to spreading our message…even though we lose members with each Titan attack that happens. But these ones, like I say, always came from people outwith the group, and these are the ones that led to the Titans shooting more innocents. That’s why I’m telling you now, there must be a reason we’re being invited to these.” Pastor Nick says regretfully, and Erwin nods at the words.

“From what you’re saying, it sounds like they’re using your group as a shield.” Erwin states thoughtfully, and Levi runs a stressed hand through his hair.

“Which is just going to make it a hundred times harder to find them.” Levi adds, beginning to pace the room.

“What do you mean by a shield?” Pastor Nick asks, looking between the two men in confusion.

“A shield is when one individual or a group use another, more well known, more vocal group to cover their own tracks. In order for the Titans to be able to successfully infiltrate and carry out their attacks, they need a larger group who are likely to cause a scene to be there at the same time, so that the focus is kept off them and they can do what they are there to do with minimal chance of them being discovered.” Erwin explains, “We think that’s why you’ve been given those event details, the people who gave you them are not trying to help you, they’re trying to use you to protect themselves.”

“So, what does this mean? Is this our fault? Have we caused this?” Pastor Nicks demands, becoming more and more distressed by the second. And it becomes clear to Levi that this man is not a killer, simply an old, skewed, fool.

“It’s not your fault, but your involvement certainly hasn’t made things any easier. If anything, you could maybe have prevented several of the shootings if you’d just refused to go. If Erwin’s idea that the shooters are working on behalf of someone else is correct, then there’s a chance they may have been too cautious to go through with it without the cover.” Levi states frankly, “But there’s no way we can know for sure.”

“But what makes you think that the shooter, or shooters in this instance, or working for someone? I thought the Titans were an organisation?” Pastor Nick asks, resting a hand on his desk and using the other to rub at his temple.

“They are.” Erwin clarifies, “But I trailed the shooter from last night and there were several things that concerned me. For one, I could see that he was a white male, probably aged early to mid-twenties, I didn’t get a good look at his face, but based on body language and his voice alone, he certainly seemed like quite a young man. Second, was how nervous he was, I tried to keep as hidden as possible but he kept looking back as if expecting someone to come up behind him at any second, I could be wrong but that doesn’t strike me as someone driven by duty or devoted to the cause, then again I can’t know for sure. The third thing was the phone call.”

Levi stops pacing and whips his head to stare at Erwin, “What are you talking about? What phone call?”

“I followed him to some old buildings on the East Side, he was on a call but he was also up on higher ground at this point so I didn’t get a lot from it, and I couldn’t risk him seeing me, but the gist of the call suggested he was reporting back to someone. He sounded almost…scared, I think. I lost him after that, but I quickly deduced that he’s definitely not the mastermind behind all of this, I can’t even say for certain that he’s a fully-fledged Titan.” Erwin confirms, and Levi becomes thoughtful upon hearing this.

“If he’s as young as you think he is, then there’s a chance he’s being manipulated. And the problem with that is, even if we do find out who this kid is, he may have more to lose from telling us who the higher ups are than he would gain from it.” Levi says before asking, “Nick, you said you were always informed in advance by outsiders on the nights of the attacks. Can you tell us who tipped you off on those occasions? Do you remember what they looked like? Could you even describe them for us? Their mannerisms, clothes, distinctive marks, anything?”

Pastor Nick nods, “The first two that came to me, I don’t know them all that well, just that they’re brothers. Falco and Colt their names are, I can’t remember their last name I’m afraid, their family is relatively new to the area. I can’t say much else about them, Falco came around first, said he’d been doing some research and found out there was to be a rather large turn out at Wall Rose in Trost, and that we would get our name known that way. He seemed so well put together, said that we were doing the lord’s work and deserved to have the world hear our message. Colt was similar the next time when he came to tell us about The Basement, he even commented on the shootings in Trost, said they were tragic, but we still should do our duty to the church.” Nick explains, and Levi can’t help but feel a niggling sensation at the back of his brain, like he should be remembering something important, but he can’t quite figure out what it is. It annoys the shit out of him.

“That’s a start, those names are quite distinct, it shouldn’t be too difficult to track them down unless they’ve been using aliases.” Erwin says, writing the information down on a pad he keeps in his inside pocket, it’s an old method but Erwin has always been old-fashioned that way, “What about this time around? Anything you can tell us about the person who approached you about Maria’s?”

Nick hesitates before nodding grimly, “Yes, I know him quite well actually, he’s lived in Shiganshina almost all of his life, I think he’s maybe 22 or 23 now. His mother came to the church quite regularly when he was growing up, but it wasn’t until recent years that he started coming along himself. He lost his brother to a brain tumour you see, and his mother became ill a few years ago with Leukaemia. I think he wanted to come and find some sort of answer in these walls, but I don’t know if he ever did. His name is Marcel Galliard.”

“Galliard, you said? How are you spelling that?” Erwin asks, taking note of Pastor Nick’s recital of the name. Levi still has the odd feeling in his head, like he’s missing something incredibly important or that he’s overlooked something, it’s not something the man often feels but his mind has been scrambled over the course of the last 24 hours. Maybe he’ll be able to recall it once he’s had time to process things, so he instead decides to ask Nick more questions about Galliard.

“You said you know this kid quite well? Is there anything else you could tell us about him that could be important for us to note? You said he didn’t start coming to church until recently, in that time has he ever expressed any negativity towards homosexuality? Or shown any interest in joining your activist group?” Levi asks and the pastor shakes his head.

“No, never. In fact, he’d never actually shared any of his opinions on the matter until he came to me with the details of the drag performances at Maria’s bar, he said that he’d spread the word online so that we could reach out to a bigger crowd within Shiganshina.” Pastor Nick says.

“So, he was the one that leaked the information on Rogue’s set online, he set this whole thing up. But why? To get to Maria? None of this is making sense. Bertholdt was close with both Rogue and Maria, and he’s shot dead with several others injured, why? To cover up the fact there’s a connection to Rogue? And then that kid Nac – a kid Rogue herself had befriended on the night she visited - is killed and pictures that include Rogue’s face are strewn everywhere. Then Rogue’s performance is leaked online, and Galliard sets the scene to make his way to Maria…the common factor here is Rogue, it has to be at this point.” Levi states in realisation and Erwin nods his head in reluctant agreement.

“If that’s the case, then there is something else you should know about Marcel.” Pastor Nick pipes up, “Back when his brother Porco died, Marcel would have only been about 17 or 18 at the time. He struggled terribly to deal with it, and he unfortunately developed a terrible drug addiction. Cocaine, I think it was. He completely messed up his life, lost out on opportunities for college, he had a bright future ahead of him and he threw it all away for the drugs. He cleaned up his act not long after his mother became ill, and as far as I know, he hasn’t touched it since. But he came to me back when she was on death’s door and told me about this surgery that was available, it was experimental and not covered by their insurance. It cost $250,000, but he was absolutely determined to get the money together to make it possible…” Nick explains, and Levi cuts him off midway through his sentence.

“Is any of this relevant? I don’t see how this is going to help us.”

“I’m getting there.” Nick states with slight annoyance lacing his tone, Erwin glares at Levi from the corner of his eye as he continues, “He came to me for guidance on the matter, said that he could get the money if he made a deal with the devil. He said that he knew exactly what he had to do, but it would mean him confronting his demons and that he would owe a massive debt if he were to take the deal. I told him that I couldn’t tell him what to do, he’d have to look to the lord for guidance and that he’d know in is own heart what the right thing to do is.”

“What did he mean by that? Making a deal with the devil?” Erwin asks curiously, “That doesn’t sound like your standard loan shark to me. And if this guy was hooked on drugs before, no bank would have loaned him the money under any circumstances.”

“I can’t be sure.” Pastor Nick states, “He never told me what he meant by that, and I never asked for him to tell me either, it wasn’t my place to know and I didn’t need to either. All I know is that he left my church that day, took his mother abroad within a matter of weeks and then they came back. Unfortunately, I don’t think the surgery turned out the way he’d hoped, it helped prolong her life, but it didn’t get rid of the cancer completely. She’s alive, but for how long, no one knows.”

“So, he took out a loan with somebody in order to save his mom’s life, and the cost of that would mean that he would owe a debt in return…a life for a life maybe? It could be possible that the ‘devil’ in this scenario is cashing in on that debt and that’s why Galliard is involved?” Levi suggests, “He’s never shown any interest in Nick’s cause before and from what we’ve heard, there doesn’t sound like a reason he would hold any hatred towards gay people, at least not enough to take a life. It just doesn’t seem to fit the picture you’re painting of this guy.”

“I would have to agree.” Erwin supplies, “So if we go with that theory, and Galliard is paying off a debt to somebody, he’s failed. Marco is still alive, which means whoever wanted the job done won’t be happy. And the only way we can get Galliard to co-operate with us without him feeling threatened, and to end all of this completely, will be to find out who exactly he owes this debt to. Who could have been in the position to lend him such a vast amount of money?”

“My immediate instinct would have been his drug supplier?” Levi offers, “Drug dealers make a hell of a lot of money doing what they do, and as far as Galliard is concerned, the drugs are what ruined his life, and by extension, the person supplying him those drugs technically had a part to play in that. And he did say, that going to this person would mean having to confront his demons. I say we try and find out who his supplier was, and from there I think we have a solid suspect in all of this. They could lead us straight to the Titans.”

“I don’t think so.” Pastor Nick states, shaking his head at Levi’s train of thought, “You don’t need to try and find out who Marcel’s drug dealer was, I know exactly who it was, and I highly doubt it’ll help you in your effort to find the Titans.”

“What do you mean?” Erwin asks, at the same time Levi asks, “Who was his dealer?”

Pastor Nick looks at the pair of them in succession before he answers.

“Marcel Galliard’s drug dealer was Eren Jaeger.”

Chapter Text

Chapter 30

Levi received the text at 6.45am from Armin asking him to meet up that same day, as he’s now back home from work for a couple of weeks. The younger man obviously knowing Levi well enough to realise that his former Lance Corporal would have been up as soon as dawn broke this morning and that if he’d left it any longer, then Levi’s schedule for the day would already have been set, and that the minor change would cause him far more anxiety than necessary.

In return, Levi accepted the invitation graciously and suggested they meet up at the little café that has become his favourite since moving to Shiganshina. They serve the best tea in town, although he hasn’t told Eren that one yet. Armin agrees, and they arrange to meet up at 11am.

Eren is still dead to the world by the time Levi extracts himself from the bed, showers, has breakfast, dresses himself and is ready to leave. Levi hadn’t gone to bed with Eren last night intentionally, in fact neither of them had slept in the same bed as the other since the night of the shooting, however upon hearing Eren’s anguished screams and cries created from the horrors of his own head, Levi was out of his own bed and had wrapped his sobbing boyfriend in a comforting embrace between the sheets in a matter of minutes. He understood nightmares all too well, and knew it was the best he could do for Eren at that moment.

Aside from their impromptu sort-of snuggle session, nothing has really changed in terms of their relationship with eachother. With the exception of a few fleeting touches throughout the day – a large, supporting hand on his back as Levi cooks dinner, nimble fingers brushing his own as they walk down the street or a long leg nudging at him lovingly on the couch while watching TV - and the little pecks on the cheek Eren gives him on the days he’s feeling brave enough, Levi can’t think of anything they do all that differently from when they were strictly employer and employee, friends at the very most - although Eren did like to touch him then too.

Levi isn’t sure what he’d expected in the weeks since the shooting, but after pushing his own boundaries and kissing Eren back in the way he did at the hospital, he’d at least thought things at this stage would be a just a little more….more? Levi isn’t sure if Eren is simply embarrassed after being caught by his father or is trying to respect his boundaries by keeping their physical interactions at a minimum, but after everything they’ve been through, Levi would have thought Eren would realise that it’s okay to be a little more affectionate. It’s felt like forever since they had a proper kiss.

If he’s being honest with himself, Levi has been desperate for a kiss from Rogue or Eren, at this point he doesn’t think he would even care if Eren had shaved his face or not, he just wants to feel those soft, plump lips against his own once again. He doesn’t quite understand what’s made him feel so pathetic and needy all of a sudden, Levi has never been one to crave kissing, it’s always been an inconsequential part of dating to him. And at times, it’s even felt like a chore.

But kissing Rogue and feeling her gentle, inexperienced lips on his, her soft skin under his fingers and her breathy little gasps when they parted makes him want to feel more, to touch more, to breathe her in and smell her on his clothes for days to come. He knew in that moment that he felt nothing but pure, indescribable love, and that he wanted to hold on to it and keep it forever. He wanted to feel this way forever.

Kissing Eren was an entirely different experience altogether, but no less pleasurable, much to his own surprise. While his kiss with Rogue had been one of comfort, of love, a gift between two people expressing their inner most feelings for the first time, his kiss with Eren hadn’t been filled with the innocent, self-consciousness they’d been feeling the night before. It had been playful, it had been kind of fun, and it had almost felt like a fight, not a real one, but one where there would be a clear winner eventually. Levi feels like if he were to spend more time kissing Eren, he’d want to win, he’d want it more than he wants anything else.

The idea of having the younger, sarcastic, cheeky little shit he adores begging him for mercy, mentally stripped of his cocky façade and wanting nothing more than Levi’s approval. The sensation he feels when he thinks of it is heady, intoxicating, confusing and just a little bit scary. It’s not often that Levi can say that he’s frightened of his own feelings, but in this instance Levi is sure. He loves Rogue, he loves Eren, and he’s completely, undeniably terrified of that very thought.

Love shouldn’t be scary to Levi, or so he thinks, he’s been in love before. He had loved Hange of course, but upon reflection, aside from the time he felt like he maybe would want to pursue something akin to a sexual relationship with her, the love he felt for her was always more like the love he felt for Izzy, the need to look after her, to protect her, to see her grow and succeed. He'd loved Rico too, but the more that he thinks about it, the more it begins to feel like maybe he had actually just wanted to love her, that he felt like he maybe could, but in the end it just fell short of what it should have been. The love he feels now is unlike anything he’s ever felt in his life, he’s never loved like this before.

Losing Hange had been sad, but felt almost right, like they were always supposed to be just friends and things were just correcting themselves. It had felt natural to go from being lovers to best friends. Losing Rico had been more of an annoyance, had come with the inconvenience of having to find a new place, to make new plans and erase the future he had in his head, one that he thought he could eventually have been happy in. But overall, it didn’t really hurt, and it felt all too natural to go from being lovers to complete strangers. Losing Rogue…losing Eren would be like losing a part of himself, would be like trying to breathe without air, would be like living in this world alone after knowing what it’s like to live as one half of a whole. Trying to walk away the first time had been enough proof of that. He hasn’t lost them yet, but he knows that if he ever did, it would destroy him.

Levi allows himself the luxury of watching from the doorway as Eren snoozes the day away, completely oblivious of his surroundings. He sleeps now like he’s afraid of the world, curled up into a tight ball as if trying to make himself as small as possible, and Levi can’t help but remember the nights Rogue would be sprawled across the back seats of the car without a care in the world. It breaks Levi’s heart a little to see that. Despite this, his face is peaceful, his hair coming away a little from the loose bun he’d tied it in last night and his lips still sticky with uncleaned lip gloss.

Even with the lack of physical attention that Levi had been expecting, Eren has still kept his word and has begun to dress more like Rogue these days. His wardrobe in the last several weeks has consisted of knitted sweaters, tight skinny jeans or flowing floral skirts, long wigs in various colours and light shades of make-up. It’s definitely not Rogue level cross-dressing, but it’s enough so that one would definitely have to look twice before concluding that the elegant, statuesque, pretty woman is in fact a lanky, fiercely masculine man wearing a skirt and with skin contoured to perfection.

What’s most surprising to Levi, however, is the fact that Eren doesn’t keep his cross-dressing to the walls of their home and has pretty much been in constant ‘light drag’ even when going grocery shopping or in the company of their friends. It had struck him slightly odd at first, as Levi had only expected Eren to dress more femininely around the house or when they eventually started going on dates, but Marco had put his mind at ease on the day he and Eren had helped Jean bring him back home from the hospital.

“He does this when he’s overly stressed or anxious and doesn’t have an outlet for it.” Marco explained, “It shouldn’t last too long, but it’s kind of like a comfort for him. A security blanket, ya know? With the club being closed for now and that Nile guy postponing the tour for a little while with the attack, he’s had no reason to get all dragged up, so it’s not even like he can rely on Rogue right now. I wouldn’t worry about it though he’ll snap himself out of it eventually. And you can always come here and hang out for a while if it really bothers you.”

It doesn’t bother Levi, and he wanted to tell Marco that, but felt like he may let on more than he intended to in doing so, so he let it go and agreed to visit if things ever became too much. But Marco’s explanation on the idea of Eren using his feminine side as a security blanket made complete sense to him, in more ways than he could express, and so from then on, he didn’t find it strange nor did he question Eren about it.

Levi lets himself take a minute to watch Eren sleep for just a little while longer before he tears himself away from the doorway, leaves the house and heads off to meet Armin.

+++

The blond is already sitting at Levi’s regular booth in the corner when he arrives. It’s amazing to Levi how well Armin knows him and his habits, he imagines that’s just what happens when you spend so much time with somebody at their worst, you learn their traits, their ticks and what makes them who they are. Levi supposes he probably unconsciously knows the same about Armin and even the rest of his old team.

Levi locks eyes with Armin and nods in his direction before making his away over and slipping into the booth. Armin has allowed him the side that’s directly against the wall, just like he would have chosen for himself.

“Morning Levi, I hope you don’t mind but I took the liberty of ordering you a tea. Earl grey, tiny bit of milk, no sugar.” Armin says by way of greeting, getting Levi’s tea order to…well, a T.

“Thanks kid.” Levi says, pulling his cup over and inspecting it before taking a sip. It’s perfect.

“Sorry about the short notice, I wasn’t supposed to get home until this evening, but I managed to catch a flight last night. And I wanted to meet with you as soon as possible, seeing as I wasn’t able to get back after what happened at Maria’s. How have you been by the way? And how’s Eren holding up?” Armin asks, drinking white coffee from his own cup.

Levi nods, “I’ve been fine, you kind of get used to being shot at in our old line of work, you know? But Eren’s been a little on edge, as I’m sure you’re already aware. It was the first time he was directly confronted with the threat, and to see Marco go down like that…It’s shaken him up pretty bad.”

“He’s been…different on the off chance I get to call him for a little. But I don’t necessarily think it’s a bad thing. Sure, he’s shaken up, but he also seems less likely to run off and do something completely reckless. I was always afraid that if it came down to it, Eren would end up getting himself killed just to make a point. Now that he’s seen what the Titans can do in person and because he has you to think about, I don’t think he’ll be in such a rush to do that.” Armin says as matter of fact, looking Levi straight in the eyes and taking another gulp of his coffee.

“What do you mean because of me? Eren doesn’t have to worry about me.” Levi states confused and Armin laughs a little, like he knows something Levi doesn’t.

“He may not have to worry about you, but he still does. He cares about you, every time I call, he always brings you up. Says he can’t get a read on you right now and it’s stressing him out. He mentioned you came home after he got back from the hospital a few weeks ago and you were acting strange.” Armin says, and Levi can’t help but feel a little sheepish at that, it’d been the day he learned about Marcel, and Levi himself hadn’t quite known how to handle that information.

“I may have been a little unintentionally cold with him recently, but it’s not been anything to do with him. Not exactly. It’s just been this whole situation, and I ended up getting some info that I hadn’t been expecting, and I guess I just didn’t deal with it very well. I haven’t told Eren yet, and honestly, I don’t even know how I can even bring up the conversation. But I know I can’t keep it a secret, not after last time, he’s been kept in the dark long enough.” Levi says determined, his relationship with Eren is still new, and he’s not about to start it off by lying to him, especially not about something that could potentially mean life or death for the younger man.

“I would have to agree, and by new information, I assume you are referring to Marcel Galliard?” Armin asks, surprising Levi and it must show on his face as Armin continues, “I spoke with Erwin not long after he met with your source. I didn’t know Galliard, not really, he was a couple of years older than myself and Eren growing up, so we didn’t really run in the same circles. I think Reiner and Bert knew him though. Even so, I wouldn’t have pegged him for a killer, especially not after having a look at his file.”

Of course, with Armin’s position, he’ll have all the clearances for any system anyone could possibly need to get right into the core of someone. Hell, Armin probably has complete access to all the shit that could be potentially dragged up about him. It makes complete sense that Erwin would go to him about something as delicate as this.

“It doesn’t bother me, not in the way you might think.” Levi justifies, “I’m not judging Eren, I already knew he dealt coke and whatever else, he told me months ago about all of that. His past is his past and there’s nothing anybody can do to change it. We all have our own demons, as you know yourself. It’s just that I can’t get to the bottom of why this is happening. It’s almost certain that Galliard is responsible for shooting Marco, and there’s no doubt in my mind that this whole thing is connected to Eren, but it’s like there’s a whole section missing. Something I’m not completely understanding, and I don’t know how to get there. It’s frustrating.”

“That’s actually why I wanted to meet with you today.” Armin explains, “Please don’t take this the wrong way, you know that I only have the utmost respect for you and for Erwin, you’ve done fantastically in protecting Eren and getting all of that information together with the limited resources you have at your disposal. But from today, I need you both to take a step back, I’ve had all of Erwin’s prior accesses revoked – he won’t be punished for using it, so don’t worry about that – and I’ll be taking over this case starting now.”

Levi’s eyes widen in response and Armin splutters to justify himself before Levi gets too angry with him, “I’m not saying you have to leave or anything, not at all, you still have business here after all. You’ll still guard Eren as normal, take him to his scheduled activities, accompany and live with him as normal. Nothing will change in that regard; I just need you to let me handle the Titan investigation...”

“Whoa, calm down, I’m not mad or offended or anything. I’m just surprised is all, I didn’t think this would be your forte. I was certain you were 100% focused on the…Underground.” He says the last word just a little bit quieter than the rest of his sentence. You really can never know.

“I am, but you said so yourself, I could look for an eternity and never find them. And this case affects my nearest and dearest, it’s only natural for me to do my part to protect them in the ways that I can. We’ve already lost Bert, we almost lost Marco…I’m not ready to lose Eren, or you for that matter. And if that means putting the Underground case aside for now, then that’s what I’m going to do.” Armin states confidently, looking so different now to the unsure, nervous, little pipsqueak with the mushroom cut he remembers.

“Okay, that’s fair and I admire that, but won’t the police have something to say about you taking this case out from under their noses? Last I checked, the police in this country are good for nothing assholes, but they’ll fight anyone who looks to belittle them.” Levi says, and Armin drains his cup before shrugging his shoulders.

“There’s nothing they can do about it, and it’s not like they’ve managed to do anything worthwhile in all this time. You and Erwin managed to work more out after one night than they have in the last 6 months since the first attack. And anyway, Trost, Karanes and Shiganshina? As far as the authorities are concerned, this organisation has crossed borders. And the fact that these are hate crimes specifically targeted against the LGBT community…that makes it a form of terrorism. Therefore, this case is mine if I want it. My team sent the request yesterday and we got the approval before I even left Stohess. In all honesty, I think the police were probably relieved to see it go.”

“You’re probably right about that.” Levi replies, “But are you sure this is what you want to do? You’ve spent your entire career devoted to catching the Underground. I’m not saying you shouldn’t do this; I’m just asking if you’re really ready to just let them go?”

“Yes.” Armin answers, sounding surer than ever, “Because it’s time. I’ve been spending years trying to find them, thinking that if I did, I’d somehow find some closure on it all. But if I’m being truthful with myself, it’d probably just mess me up even more having nothing left to chase. And I can always pick the case up again in the future, they’ll always be out there. But this? I can do this. I can do it well, and I really think I have a chance of putting a stop to the Titans. But I’m going to need your help.”

“My help?” Levi asks confused, “What do you need me to do?”

“I need you, and Erwin too, to be my informants. You hear something, find something, or even just have a hunch? I want you to let me know about it. You think someone is being suspicious or you suspect there’s danger, I wanna know who and where. Only you two can do that, your instincts are sharp and unlike the others, you know what to look for. I need you to stay out of the investigation, but I want you to always let me know if something doesn’t feel right. I trust you both more than anything on that.” Armin implores, hands clasped tightly and resting on the little table in front of him. Levi finishes his tea with two more gulps and answers.

“My instincts and intuition have failed me, have failed us, in the past. But if you’ll let me, I’ll do everything I can to make it up to you by doing this. I want to protect Eren, I want him to be healthy, happy and safe, and I can’t ensure he’ll be able to strive in a world where the Titans exist. I want them gone; I want them eradicated. So, I’ll do what I can to help you make sure that happens. For Eren…for everyone.” Levi states without hesitation and Armin gives him a knowing smile.

“Thank you, Levi, it means so much to me that you’re willing to…go to so much trouble for my best friend.” Armin says teasingly, and Levi hears the implication in his statement and sees the mischievous glint in the younger man’s eyes. He’s always been too smart for his own good, Levi thinks, but he decides not to take the bait.

“Well, it’s my job, and he’s become rather important to me too. But I must say, I’m rather impressed with you Arlert, you’ve always been intelligent, always been resourceful, but now you’re strong too. You’ve overcome so much, and you’re still so determined. If anyone can bring down the Titans kid, I believe it will be you. Seriously brat, I’m proud of you.” Levi says honestly, giving Armin a ghost of a smile, the most he’s given anyone who’s not Eren in the last 5 years almost.

Armin flushes under the praise and can’t quite bring himself to meet his former superior’s eyes directly, “Thank you Lance Corporal, that means a hell of a lot coming from you.”

Levi simply nods, and nothing more is said on the matter. They do order another drink each and begin talking about life in general, the pair of them more than just a little grateful that they get the opportunity to do this at all.

+++

Levi parks up the car just outside the house at around 2.30pm, Armin had to meet up with Annie so they could visit a few possible venues for their wedding, so they said their goodbyes after chatting for a little while longer.

After his long conversation with Eren’s best friend, he’s been mulling it over and is beginning to believe that Eren’s distance has probably been due to the unintentional stormy vibe he’s been giving off as of late. Between his confusion over the Titans’ game plan and his frustration at not being able to put the pieces together, Levi knows he’s been less than inviting towards his younger boyfriend.

He plans on making it up to Eren by making him dinner. Now that the case has been taken on by somebody he trusts implicitly, he feels like he can afford to be a little more sensitive towards Eren’s needs. It’s not his fault that Levi has been going out of his mind on this, he doesn’t even know all of the details and part of Levi’s plan for tonight is also to break it to Eren gently. The last thing he needs is for Eren becoming more scared or anxious than he’s already been. Levi can’t afford to keep it to himself, but he also wants to make sure Eren feels safe and comfortable in the knowledge that the people he loves are all behind him and ready to take action at any given moment.

Levi unlocks the front door before closing it behind him with a click, the living room and kitchen are empty, so he assumes Eren is either still sleeping or hanging out in his room. He sets the grocery bags down in the kitchen and makes his way out into the hall, through to where Eren’s room is located.

Eren’s bedroom door is wide open, but the room is empty, much to Levi’s surprise. However, his own bedroom door is open too, despite the fact he’s sure he’d closed it over earlier. There isn’t much in terms of sound, so he decides to proceed with caution as he makes his way to the doorway before looking inside.

What he sees stops his heart completely for several seconds.

Eren is sitting cross-legged on the floor, wearing a long, grey hoodie, tight black shorts and thigh high black socks. His hood is up and he’s wearing a blonde wig, the curls of which are poking out of the front. But none of that is what’s alarming to Levi.

In front of Eren, with a very noticeable tear in the bottom, is the last cardboard box that had been shipped to Levi from Trost. It looks as if Eren had picked it up to move it, and the bottom just caved in on itself, spilling the entire contents of the box all over the floor for Eren to see. It’s not his fault, Levi had planned to unpack it before now, but other things had gotten in the way.

Eren’s eyes are wide and confused as he looks up from the floor and locks eyes with his paler than usual boyfriend standing stock-still in the doorway of his own room.

“Levi…w-what is all this?” Eren asks uncertainly, and Levi has no idea what to say. There’s only one word at the forefront of his mind, and it’s not going to do him any good to say it out loud. So, he simply chants it over and over in his head as he figures out a way to explain himself.

Shit.

Chapter Text

Chapter 31

Eren is still staring up at him with those blown-wide, sparkling, bright eyes by the time Levi’s brain has properly caught up with the sight that’s laid out in front of him.

The sight of Eren “The Rogue” Jaeger, Drag Queen extraordinaire, YouTube sensation – and his boyfriend no less - sitting cross-legged on his bedroom floor with the broken, cardboard box in his lap and surrounded by fluffy sweaters and countless pairs of women’s underwear.

Correction – Levi’s underwear.

Several English words that are not profanity have started to form in Levi’s mind as the seconds tick by, and then begin spilling out of his mouth without much thought or control from the man himself.

“I…. I don’t…. that box…. you weren’t….” Levi stutters, his heart hammering the entire time as he attempts to string a viable sentence together. Eren continues watching him with an expectant look through his stammering, as if Levi is somehow about to give him the secrets of the universe.

“Levi?” Eren prompts gently, and Levi gulps audibly before entering the room and setting a shaky hand on the end of his own bed frame.

“I didn’t…. I didn’t think you would ever see this.” Levi manages lamely with sad, downcast eyes, “You weren’t supposed to find these.”

“Levi…. please tell me honestly, are these yours?” Eren asks, as if the man’s blatantly obvious embarrassment and discomfort weren’t a big enough giveaway, before shaking his head and adding “I mean, as in, do you…. wear these or…”

“No Eren,” Levi interrupts, “I have them because I’m a big, old pervert and I need them to get my fucking rocks off.” He snaps - gripping the bed frame so hard that Eren thinks it’s going to snap at any given second - and uses his free hand to run his fingers through his hair, grasping the longer ends tight enough for it to look as if it physically hurts.

Eren simply gazes up at Levi and waits for him to calm down on his own, the latter taking a deep, steadying breath before meeting Eren’s beautiful eyes once more. Somehow, those eyes always seem to bring him back down to Earth, and Levi can’t even begin to explain how they make him feel, he could lose himself in those pools of glittering green and gold for all eternity.

Levi thinks about lying. He really does. He’s been so used to lying to others about who he is, that he doesn’t normally have to think so hard about it. Hell, the only other person who ever knew about this part of Levi was Hange, and even then, she only actually found out by accident. He’s never even considered telling Eren about this…but he loves Eren, and if he can’t confide in Eren, then who does he have to confide in?

“Yes, they’re mine. And yes, I wear them.” Levi says finally, stone-faced and filled with shame at the sound of his own words leaving his lips. It’s been so long since he’s said the words out loud to somebody.

“Oh.” is all Eren says in response, absentmindedly rubbing the fabric of a white, cotton pair next to his bare thigh whilst continuing look at Levi with a semi-vacant stare. Levi gives the younger man an incredulous look and raises a disbelieving eyebrow at him after Eren says nothing else.

“Oh? That’s all you can say, just ‘Oh’?” Levi questions with narrowed, distrustful eyes, and Eren’s own shoot open wide as he shakes his head vigorously, as if trying to dislodge something from his brain.

“No, no, sorry! That’s not what I meant at all, I was just…sorry. I didn’t mean oh like ‘oh, that’s weird’, I was meaning it more as in ‘oh, that’s surprising’. It just got me thinking is all. I never would have…expected that you would like to wear this stuff, seeing as you’re so buff and all. And then I ended up trying to picture you…and I got distracted.” Eren admits, blushing madly and looking up at Levi timidly.

Levi lets his face soften and he rubs at his temple, he can already feel a headache coming on. His grip on the bed frame loosens, and then he lets go of it altogether. But instead of pacing the room like he usually does when he’s anxious or stressed, Levi makes his way over to where Eren is sitting and sets himself down in front of him, his legs splayed out to the side rather than crossed like the younger man’s. He can practically see Eren’s brain working a mile a minute, so he chooses to say nothing, giving Eren the opportunity to ask the questions he no doubt has in his own time.

“So…forgive me for making assumptions if I’m wrong…but does this mean you’re Trans?” Eren asks carefully, watching Levi’s reaction the entire time. He doesn’t sound disgusted or judgemental, as Levi had come to expect from anyone who uncovers his biggest secret, he just sounds like he’s interested to know the answer, regardless of what it may be.

Levi shakes his head, “No, if there’s one thing I’m certain of in this life, it’s that I’m not transgender. Believe me, I did a lot of research growing up. I’m incredibly comfortable with my body, I’ve never been unsure of it, not for a second. I trust it…take pride in it if I’m honest. I am definitely a man, and I have never ever felt any uncertainty in that fact.”

“Okay,” Eren says with a nod, “That’s totally cool, I’m just then wondering….”

“You’re wondering what I get out of it?” Levi finishes, and Eren nods an affirmative, “Well, it’s not a sex thing if that’s what you’re thinking.”

“I didn’t think anything like that, I swear!” Eren exclaims, rushing to defend himself, “It never even crossed my mind, I promise. I don’t even know what I think to be honest, I’m still just surprised. It’s not every day you find out that your boyfriend has a box full of women’s sweaters and panties in his bedroom.”

“Tch, I know, you just have yours in your closet for everybody to see.” Levi jokes with a smirk, to which Eren lets out a rather undignified snort in response.

“You ass!” Eren laughs, reaching over and hitting Levi on the shoulder in barely concealed amusement, “You know what I mean.”

“Yeah I know, brat.” Levi says fondly before continuing, “To answer your question, I don’t know…I’ve never really known. It’s something I’ve always done but, I didn’t actually have an explanation for it until Hange practically psychoanalysed me.”

“Hange knows?” Eren asks surprised.

Levi nods, “Yeah, she knows. She found out about it back when we were dating. I…put one of my sweaters into the washer while she was doing laundry and planned to fish it out before she realised what I’d done. But she unloaded the machine earlier than I was expecting and found it, she knew immediately that it wasn’t hers. I lied at first and told her I didn’t know where it came from, but she could always see right through me. I either had to come clean or have her think I was cheating on her.”

“I see, I can understand why you chose to tell her.” Eren remarks, “How did she react when she found out about it?”

“She took it in her stride like she does with anything else.” Levi says shrugging his shoulders, “She demanded I tell her everything, from why I started wearing them in the first place to how it makes me feel to wear them now. So, I told her everything I could, and Hange did what she always does. She gave me an answer. It may not have been the right one, but it’s the only one that’s ever made any sense to me.”

Levi looks at Eren then, expecting him to say something. Except he doesn’t, he’s simply watching Levi with rapt attention, as if seeing him for the first time. So instead of waiting around for a reaction that’s not about to come, he dives right into it.

“Growing up, I only had mom. She raised me completely on her own, and she was my everything. In a world filled with people, full of meaningless names and face, we only ever had eachother. I relied on her entirely, and I think in many ways, she relied on me too. For the first 7 years of my life, my mom was the only person I ever really had any sort of interaction with. Sure, I went to school and all, but I never cared for other kids my age, too loud and messy.” Levi says, scrunching up his nose at the memory of his childhood, before continuing.

“Every day, I’d watch the clock in the classroom, and wait impatiently for the last bell so that I could go home. She would wait for me around the corner from the school gates, she didn’t like waiting with the other moms…she knew what they would say about her. Mom was an addict, you see. Heroin. She managed to quit after I was born, but she still used even when she was pregnant with me. It’s why I’m so short.” Levi says, and suddenly Eren grasps his hand, squeezing it lightly and looking at him with such a sad expression that Levi wants to take his words back.

“Despite all that, she was a fantastic mother to me. She always said I was her most precious gift. And every night after she took me home from school, after we’d eaten and I’d had my evening bath, she’d wrap me up in her arms and run her fingers through my hair. She held me so close, so tightly, and I remember so clearly that she always wore the softest, fluffiest, woollen jumpers I’ve ever felt. We didn’t have a lot of money as she was on welfare, so the heat was almost always out. That was her way of keeping me warm until I fell asleep at night.” Levi explains softly, his slightly glazed over as he recalls the memory of his mother’s embrace, so vivid yet so far away.

“She sounds like an amazing woman.” Eren says with a small, kind smile, “I can already tell she really loved you.”

“I know she did.” Levi agrees with a nod, “And I always thought that she was the strongest woman I knew. But she was weak minded…and my Uncle Kenny knew that about her. He was always at our house, demanding money or other such stuff, and Mom would always give it to him. Because he was family, and family always help eachother out. He certainly helped her out when he got her hooked back on the drugs…she was dead within the year after that.”

Eren’s eyes flutter closed then, and he lets out a shaky breath. Levi can tell his boyfriend is hurting for him, it’s easy to see, but he also knows there is a part of Eren that realises that it could just as easily have been him in his mother’s position if he hadn’t kicked the habit when he did. And Levi wastes no time in squeezing Eren’s trembling hand back in the same manner as he had done for him just minutes earlier.

“When she was gone, despite all Mom said about family helping eachother out, Kenny wasn’t willing to take me on full time. So, I was put into the foster care system, but he still insisted on being given visitation rights. I went to live with many families back then, but none of them lasted long enough for me to consider them home. Kenny was always lingering or banging on the door drunk at all hours, demanding to take me to his place for the evening. Sometimes the police were called, other times they let him take me, but regardless they were all too nervous to keep me around for too long. Kenny frightened them, and by extension, having me in their home frightened them too. So, they all kept me at arm’s length, afraid to get too close.” Levi says, and Eren doesn’t want to hear any more, he just wants to wrap Levi in a hug, to hide him away from the cruel, harsh world that turned it’s back on him…but this is Levi’s story, and he deserves the chance to tell it without being silenced again.

“I spent years without so much as a hug or even a kiss goodnight, and the older I got, the more I learned not to expect it. I was pretty much spending most of my weekends with Kenny at this point, and there was fat chance of me getting any form of affection from my beloved Uncle.” Levi states with a roll of his eyes, “By the time I was 13, Kenny was trying to drill it into my head that the only touch I’d ever need, would be the touch of random women in my bed at night. That was never something that appealed to me, but back then I just assumed it would be something I would understand when I was older. Fuck knows what he would have said or done back then if I told him that sex with strangers was something I have no interest in.”

Eren gives Levi a little half-smile then as he hears the light-hearted nature of Levi’s tone, “From the sounds of it, probably wouldn’t have been as bad as you telling him you’re dating a drag queen.” He jokes, and Levi huffs out an amused breath.

“Tch, you’re probably right about that kid. And besides, I’m not just dating a drag queen, he’d actually probably understand that if he had enough booze in him. But if I were to tell him the truth and say that I have a boyfriend that I’m madly in love with…that may make a difference.” Levi says and Eren flushes the brightest red that Levi has ever seen on him.

“You…you mean that?” Eren asks, almost in a whisper, face still burning hot at Levi’s confession.

“Do you need me to spell it out for you, moron? Or would you rather I have it written in the sky with…” Levi doesn’t get to finish the rest of his sentence, as in the time it’s taken for him to say the words, Eren has basically thrown himself across to where Levi is sitting and is kissing him so passionately that Levi thinks his heart is going to climb out of his throat and into Eren’s demanding mouth.

Levi doesn’t let himself think about the action, he simply uses his hands to pull Eren closer until the taller man is practically straddling his lap. Eren has his arms wrapped around Levi’s neck and has his lips pressed hard against Levi’s, however, deciding to waste no more time, Eren opens his mouth ever so slightly in an invitation, hoping Levi will catch on to where he wants this to go. And he does.

Levi, feeling empowered and boldened by the suddenness of Eren’s body pressed so close to his, dips his tongue shyly into the hot, warm cavern that is Eren’s mouth. He tastes of coffee and toothpaste, and it’s a combination so odd that it should be disgusting, but Levi can’t get enough of it. Levi lets himself explore Eren’s inexperienced mouth, but he soon pulls back from their kiss.

“Flick your tongue a little.” Levi instructs, “It’ll feel nicer for us both that way, rather than you just letting it lie there motionless.”

“Okay…” Eren says nervously, before kissing Levi again, opening his mouth for Levi to enter and gently swirling his tongue in a little circular motion.

It’s a little awkward at first, but soon Eren is getting the hang of it and actually finds himself fighting Levi for dominance of the kiss. He loses, of course, but he hadn’t been expecting to win. The battle itself is half the fun. Eren’s skin begins to break out in goosebumps as Levi starts caressing his bare thighs in the gap between his shorts and thigh high socks, and his blonde wig is tickling the tinged pink skin just above Levi’s eye. But neither of them can bring themselves to care, simply breathing in the scent of eachother, and Eren pulls back from Levi’s hungry lips to kiss at his bare neck.

“Stop…Eren, please!” Levi gasps startled, lifting Eren gently off his lap and placing him back on the floor with a thud.

Eren blinks owlishly as he feels his backside hit the ground with little warning and realises as he looks at Levi, that the older man’s eyes are almost black, only a thin ring of steely silver outlining the edges, his skin is healthily flushed and he’s breathing heavily. The sight is enough to take Eren’s breath away…until he looks down and sees that Levi’s arousal is straining against the thin fabric of his slacks.

“Oh…” Eren breathes, unconsciously darting his tongue out to wet his now dry lips. He can see just from the outline that Levi is big…bigger than he had expected for someone of his height and painfully hard. The sight is enough to leave Eren hot, and it’s without a doubt the sexiest thing he’s ever seen in his life. Levi is beautiful, all turned on and needy.

“I’m sorry Eren.” Levi says breathlessly, “I couldn’t help it…but I’m not ready for that…not yet.”

“Hey,” Eren cuts in, “It’s okay! I told you before that I have no expectations of you, not now, not ever. We were just kissing, it’s only natural that you’d get a little flustered…hell, I’m in no better state right now. But I love you Levi, and I meant it when I said I’d wait a lifetime for you to be ready for us.”

Levi lets his gaze drop to his own lap in embarrassment, “Thank you, Eren.”

“That’s alright, sweetheart.” Eren says lovingly, smiling at Levi as the older man raises his eyes back up to his younger boyfriend, “Now, let’s go back to where we left off, huh? You said you were between homes when you were growing up?” Eren asks, holding Levi’s smaller hand in his the entire time.

“Yeah.” Levi says with nod of his head, “Not many people were willing to keep me around for very long when Kenny began to show up. So, I never got attached, as I knew I’d be gone sooner rather than later. That was until I was taken in by Alice.”

“Isabel’s mom?” Eren asks, stroking Levi’s palm with his thumb.

“That’s right. I was 15 years old, and I’d pretty much given up on the idea of ever having a family again. But Alice was a tough old gal. She insisted I call her Ma from the moment I moved in and introduced me to Isabel as her new older brother that very same day. And Isabel seemed to just accept it right away, from that day on I was her big bro.” Levi reminisces fondly, “I went from having almost nothing to a having a mother and a sister within the space of 24 hours.”

“They sound like they were good for you, especially after all you’d been through.” Eren says, snuggling up to Levi, “But what about Kenny? Was he still around at this point?”

“Yeah, but Alice wasn’t taking any of his crap. Whenever he turned up unannounced and demanded that she let me go with him, she always gave him as good as she got and sent him packing. I’d never seen anybody do that before. And after a while of trying, he just stopped coming around altogether. By that point though I’d already been doing most of his dirty work. That didn’t matter anymore, I had a family again. But I still didn’t have everything I needed.” Levi says and Eren narrows his eyes in confusion.

“What do you mean?” Eren asks, and Levi takes a deep breath in preparation for what he’s about to say.

“Alice was an amazing person, and she and Isabel were some of the best things to ever happen to me, no doubt about it. However, I was 15 years old, and Alice had Isabel as well as a constant stream of little kids coming in and out of her house. All of whom needed far more attention and physical affection than I did, or as far as anyone could tell at least.” Levi explains, “I hadn’t had anybody touch me in a loving way in almost 8 years, more than half of my entire life, and in that time, I had become more familiar with using my fists than actually giving somebody a hug. My mind didn’t know how to deal with that…until one day when I found one of Isabel’s winter sweaters.

It was white, cotton and so, so soft. She and I were similar height and build at the time, so Alice must have put it in my pile by accident. I could have easily just put it back in Isabel’s room, but there was something about it that made me not want to do that. I realised after a little while that my Mom had one just like it. I remembered it so well, and suddenly I didn’t want to give it back at all.” Levi says, “I put the sweater on before I even knew what I was doing. And it just felt…so right. It was like being wrapped in a cloud, and I felt like when my Mom would hold me close to her chest. I knew then that I wanted to feel this way for as long as humanly possible. Just to have her back for a little while longer.”

“Oh Levi…” Eren whispers, lifting Levi’s palm to his lips before resting it against his face.

“It’s okay Eren, I’m fine.” Levi assures him, rubbing his fingers across Eren’s soft cheek, “From then on, I had a solution, a way of dealing with things when life became too hard or I needed to just let myself go for a little while. I bought a number of new sweaters, as you can see here…” He says, gesturing to the clothes scattered around the place, “…and eventually, I started buying frilly T-shirts when it became too hot to wear the woollen sweaters. Over time, it became less about my Mom, and more like a comfort, so I found myself dressing in my secret clothes at least several times a week.”

“Did Alice or Isabel ever find out?” Eren asks, caressing Levi’s slender fingers in his warm palm.

Levi shakes his head, “Isabel was never the most observant of people, so she didn’t even notice that her sweater went missing in the first place. I don’t think she ever actually noticed, or if she did, she never said anything. I never told Alice either, but I think…I think she knew. Sometimes I would just take the clothes off and fold them under my pillow, then later find them washed and folded in the drawers. She never confronted me about it, but really thinking about it, she must have known. The underwear too. The underwear came later when I didn’t have the time to lounge around in my room in women’s clothes anymore. They were easier as I could just wear them under my clothes, and no one was ever any the wiser. Just like the shirts and sweaters, they’d be folded in with my laundry too.”

“She loved you.” Eren says with certainty, “She loved you, and it didn’t matter to her that you liked to wear that stuff. Even if you chose to do it in public, I’m pretty sure she still would have supported you. She sounds like she was a fantastic mother.”

“She was. And I know she loved me, she told me every day.” Levi says with a sad expression, “I just wish I could have said it more often.”

“I’m sure she knew, Levi.” Eren assures him, and Levi gives him a small smile before his shoulders begin to tighten in discomfort.

“So…does it bother you?” Levi asks with an air of sheepishness and Eren looks at him confused.

“Does what bother me, sweetie?” Eren questions with narrowed eyes, and Levi takes a breath before he elaborates.

“Does it bother you that I…like to wear women’s clothes in private?” Levi clarifies and Eren is silent for a few beats before breaking out into a massive smile.

“No of course not, Levi! Why on Earth do you think that would bother me? I’m hardly one to talk, and if that’s something that you need to do in order to feel better for just a little while, then I will support you 100%. Hell, you can even wear your sweaters, your shirts and your little panties around the house as much as you want, because I love you and I just want you to be happy.” Eren reassures Levi, beaming radiantly as Levi holds himself self-consciously in response.

“But Eren, you’re a gay man, surely you can’t feel comfortable with this? You’re attracted to men, not women.” Levi questions sadly.

“Who says I can’t be comfortable with this? So, you like to wear clothes made for the opposite sex, so what? So do I! And anyway, all clothes are unisex if you think about it, people just need to stop being pussies and get over themselves. You’re worrying for nothing Levi. You’re a man, yes, but the world isn’t just black and white when it comes to being who you really are. There are so many beautiful colours and shades out there, and I want to learn each and every one of yours, baby. I will spend my life trying to learn them all and will do everything in my power to try and help you find them too.” Eren promises and Levi finds himself shivering at the endearment Eren bestowed upon him. “Come here.”

Eren holds his hand out to Levi, and the man takes it without a word, letting himself be manhandled and held by the man he’s fallen so helplessly in love with. The one he’d once sworn he’d never even look to befriend, let alone anything else. My, if only his piece of shit uncle could see him now.

Eren wraps his long arms around Levi’s torso, and Levi lets himself bury his face in the crook of Eren’s neck, inhaling the natural, alluring scent of the younger man and allows his eyelids to flutter closed as he settles himself into his boyfriend’s solid embrace.

“I love you…so, so much Levi. And if you need to wear those clothes to help you feel secure and comfortable, then you do that. Wear them to your heart’s content and don’t be scared of who you are. Just be you and wear them with pride. But never forget Levi, you don’t always need the sweater to feel comforted and cared for. I will always be here, to hold you, touch you and kiss you whenever you want or need it. I would never turn you away and I will always want to be close to you. Don’t be afraid, just let yourself feel…” Eren coos at him sweetly, whispering sweet messages of love and care into his ear, and it’s not long before he’s falling asleep in Eren’s arms, feeling safer and more content than he has in years.

“I love you too…” Levi manages, sleepily before the haze takes over completely.

Eren smiles softly when he feels Levi’s solid form go limp in his arms, and in order to ensure Levi is in the most comfortable position possible, Eren manoeuvres them both so that he’s lying flat on the carpeted floor with Levi still in his arms, dozing away without a care in the world.

With a soft kiss to the older man’s forehead, Eren lets his own eyes droop closed and he falls into a deep sleep wrapped all up in everything Levi.

A few hours later, when the sun has gone down and Levi is unsure of what time it is, he looks down at the man in the blonde wig and feels an unexplainable wave of utter contentment shuddering through him as he snuggles back in to Eren’s arms, feeling so inexplicably happy and more physically satisfied than he has in years.

Chapter Text

Chapter 32

When Levi wakes the next morning, he is all alone and surprisingly in his own bed. The last thing he can properly remember is falling asleep with Eren curled up next to him on the floor. Eren must have somehow gotten him into bed at some point during the night, but whether he stayed with him or not, Levi can’t immediately tell.

Levi reaches onto his nightstand for his phone and sees that it’s just a little after 9am, which is late for him but not so much that he feels like he’s slept half the day away. With a stretch, he forces himself to leave his warm, comfortable bed and clambers around to find something to wear. He’s still wearing his shirt and slacks from the day prior, Eren hadn’t attempted to undress him while he was sleeping – which he’s thankful for – and only removed his shoes before putting him to bed.

He also realises upon getting out of bed that the clothes that had all fallen out of the box have now been picked up off the floor and have been arranged neatly on top of his dresser, folded and separated by colour, the way he likes them. Eren has obviously picked up some of Levi’s habits when it comes to the way he arranges his clothes, and the sight makes him smirk in silent amusement.

Levi begins rummaging through his drawers to find some loungewear, as Eren has nothing scheduled for today with the club still being closed and he will be filming a little bit later in the day anyway. He finds a pair of soft, grey pants that he likes to wear, but can’t find a clean shirt. He considers going without but seeing as it’s almost winter he feels like that would just leave him cold and uncomfortable. He resolves to have another look in his drawers when the lavender sweater at the very top of his ‘special’ clothes pile catches his eye.

It’s one of his favourites in fact, it’s fluffy and frayed in little patches due to the amount of times he’s worn it, it was one of the first sweaters he ever bought for himself when he first got his own place. The colour was originally what tempted him to add it to his ever-growing collection, but the texture and feel of the fabric in his hands is what sold it for him, and he found himself buying it before he could even come up with an excuse about it in his head.

When Levi picks it up, it feels just as soft and comforting as he remembers, and it still vaguely smells like the detergent he’d used to wash it all those months prior. He holds it up to his nose and breathes in the familiar scent, making sure to keep one eye on the door at the same time until he remembers that he doesn’t have to. Nobody here is about to judge him for this, the only person here is Eren and he’s made it perfectly clear that Levi doesn’t have to hide from him.

It takes around 5 minutes of internal debate before Levi actually takes the plunge and pulls the sweater over his head, tugging it down his sculpted torso before it rests just on his thighs. It’s around 2 or 3 sizes too big, so it still fits how he likes it despite the small amount of weight he’s put on recently. In fact, he reckons it probably fits a little better now seeing as the sleeves actually rest on his shoulders and not halfway down an arm like they usually do. He’d only really planned to try it on and see if it still fit his body, but now that it’s on, he really doesn’t want to take it off again. He’s waited for months to have his comfort clothing reach him; he feels he deserves a little bit of indulgence.

Casually, he puts on the grey sweats and lets the sweater hang loosely over them, it’s a comfortable ensemble so he decides “Fuck it” and shoves his dirty clothes in the laundry basket for later. Normally, with one of his sweaters he’d only ever wear a pair of warm socks and underwear – either from his own closet or from his stash – to roam around his apartment back in Trost, however he’s fully aware of the fact he’s not alone here. And although Eren is probably the most supportive person in his life, and the person he’s currently in a romantic relationship with, he’s not quite ready to go that far yet.

Allowing himself one last look in the mirror, he ruffles his hair before sighing and making his way out of the bedroom and through to the living area. When he enters the kitchen, the smell of burning hits him first, and he looks over to find Eren filling two mugs of coffee while the toaster steams rather worryingly in the back. The younger doesn’t seem to notice at all, so Levi decides to cut the power and four very charred slices of toast ping out immediately.

It’s only then Eren notes Levi’s sudden appearance in the kitchen, he’s still wearing the same outfit as yesterday sans the wig Levi notes, his long brunet hair tied in his signature, messy bun instead.

“Ah crap! I forgot I’d put them in already.” Eren explains, tittering nervously as he plucks two of the ruined pieces of bread from the still scorching toaster and holding them by the tips of his fingers before dropping them into the trash.

“Jesus Eren, you couldn’t smell the fucking burning from two feet away? Stupid brat, god help me if the house is ever on fire or you have a stroke.” Levi says with disdain, “What were you even doing?”

“I was making toast.” Eren says dumbly, and Levi rolls his eyes in exasperation.

“Well no shit, I meant why were you so stressed out that you forgot about that?” Levi nods to the second slices of toast Eren pinches from the toaster, “I know that your brain doesn’t properly function until around 3 in the afternoon, but you don’t normally try and kill us this early in the morning.”

Eren chuckles a little at Levi’s annoyed expression, “Well if you must know, I got up for a drink last night and noticed all of the groceries you’d bought yesterday still on the counter. The bag had all of the ingredients for that pasta thing you make…that one I love…so I assumed you were planning on making us dinner. I thought that it would be only fair for me to make breakfast for us.”

Levi is about scoff and make a comment about the shitty attempt when he notices Eren is staring at his own socked feet in embarrassment, and so not to make the poor boy feel any worse about it, he shakes his head fondly and reaches over to pat him on the shoulder. Eren looks up at him when he does.

“Well I really appreciate the thought, and I’ll still make you that dinner later if you want it.” Levi offers and Eren nods his head with a happy smile, which in turn makes Levi feel all gooey inside, “Okay, now that’s sorted, pass me the eggs from the fridge?”

Eren does as he’s asked and Levi wastes no time in whipping them up some omelettes to eat instead, the toaster is still slightly smoking, and he doesn’t want to risk it bursting into flames. He already has enough burn scarring to last him a lifetime, thank you very much. Whilst he’s frying them in the pan, he feels a solid pressure at his back, and realises that Eren is standing directly behind him, and then suddenly two large hands are resting on his waist through his sweater.

“You look really good today, Levi.” Eren murmurs next to his ear, and the tone of his voice makes the hairs on the back of Levi’s neck stand up. The hands are grasping at his sweater lightly, and Levi knows that’s what Eren is referring to.

“I…I had nothing clean to wear. I need to do some laundry.” Levi remarks, trying to focus his attention on the task at hand and not the feel of Eren’s breath on his bare neck.

“I already did it. Emptied our baskets this morning and the clothes are just drying now. You should have a clean shirt in another couple hours if you really want it. Or you could always borrow something of mine if you need it.” Eren assures him, and Levi knows the younger man is offering him an out if he’s feeling too uncomfortable dressed this way in front of him. It surprises Levi how comfortable he actually IS all things considered.

“No, it’s okay. I don’t mind, it’s a little cold in here anyway.” Levi says, and he can practically feel Eren’s grin at his words.

“Yeah, you’re right. Not to mention you look so cute today, wrapped up all nicely in your sweater…so warm…and sexy…” Eren whispers before touching his lips to the juncture between Levi’s neck and shoulder. Levi gasps in surprise when he feels Eren kissing him there, and almost loses his breath entirely when Eren wraps his long arms around Levi’s middle and snuggles into him.

“You’re gonna make me b-burn the food, idiot. Then what would we eat?” Levi asks, trying to maintain a sense of control in the situation, all the while cursing himself for stuttering over his own words.

“I don’t know about you, but I have something rather delicious right here.” Eren says in a sultry voice before leaning down and bravely licking a stripe from Levi’s shoulder all the way up to the man’s pulse point in his neck. Levi shivers at the contact and Eren giggles in his ear at the reaction.

“Eren…” Levi begins breathily, “I am…holding a spatula…and I won’t hesitate to beat your ass with it if you don’t let me cook these damn omelettes in peace.”

“Kinky.” Eren jokes before untangling himself from Levi’s body, grabbing his coffee and moving to sit on the sofa. There is a sit-com playing on the TV that they’ve both seen a before, but Eren still laughs loudly every now and then at the jokes, and Levi can’t help it when he silently chuckles under his breath along with him.

Turns out some of Eren’s habits have been rubbing off on him too, he thinks fondly.

+++

“Mikasa isn’t coming today.” Eren says grumpily from his spot on the couch, scowling at his phone as if it’s the thing’s fault as Levi washes their used dishes in the connected kitchen after he’s FINALLY managed to make them both breakfast with no further incident.

“Was she supposed to be?” Levi asks as he cleans the final plate, before stacking it away with the others.

“Yeah, she was meant to be featured on my video for today. I spent my last one talking about what happened at the club, gave an update on Marco, and confirmed the new dates for the tour. I said that I would do a special one this time around to make up for the lack of new content recently.” Eren explains, before remarking, “I don’t know what’s been going on with her for the last few weeks, she’s been really moody and colder than usual…has Erwin said anything about it?”

“Not to me, no.” Levi says, shrugging his shoulders as he takes a seat on the sofa next to Eren. In fact, now that he thinks about it, everything has gone silent on the Mikasa front from Erwin. After they started seeing eachother a couple of months ago, Levi could hardly get his best friend to shut up about his boyfriend’s sister and how amazing she is, but on the odd occasion he does get to speak to Erwin these days, there’s been nothing. Maybe it didn’t work out, relationships are hard, especially long-distance ones.

“Hmm, it’s weird. Ever since Hannes retired and gave her the shop, something has felt wrong. She was always so excited by the prospect of owning her own business, it seemed weird that she wasn’t happier when he told her it was hers.” Eren frowns, “Anyway, it means I now can’t do what I had planned, and I have nothing lined up as a back-up.”

“What were you planning on doing?” Levi asks curiously, wrapping an arm around Eren’s shoulders so that the boy can lean into him as he laments on his now ruined video.

“I was going to do a drag make-up tutorial. I’ve done a couple on my own before but some of my viewers have commented that it’s hard to do on other people when they’re so used to doing it on themselves. So, I thought I could make a video on it, and Mikasa has been hounding me to teach her proper drag make-up for years now, I thought it could be two birds with one stone that way.”

Levi nods in understanding, he’s heard Mikasa chirping on at Eren to teach her his routine on many occasions himself, so it is rather surprising that she would pass up such an opportunity. They’ll see her at dinner tomorrow anyway, he can maybe try and get some answers out of her then about her recent mood.

“Okay, well why don’t you just do something else? You could…play another game or something?” Levi suggests lamely, and Eren shakes his head sadly before his eyes begin to light up, and Levi knows that somehow, he’s about to be roped into something he hadn’t been anticipating when he woke up this morning.

“Levi, I’ve just had the best idea…” Eren begins with a shit-eating grin.

“I highly doubt it but go on.” Levi deadpans.

“Well, I was thinking that seeing as Mika isn’t going to be here today, I could put off the tutorial for a little while BUT…you’re a drag make-up newbie…”

“I think I see where this is going.”

“Levi…can I please take your drag make-up virginity?” Eren asks seriously, holding Levi’s hands in his own and staring directly in the older man’s eyes.

“Let me think about that one for a second. No.” Levi answers, taking his hands back and swatting Eren away when the younger starts pouting and making grabby hands at him.

“Oh please! I have nothing else I can do today, and you know my viewers love you! It’ll be a hit! And besides, if I don’t do your make-up first, Marco will do it at some point anyway!” Eren argues and Levi raises his good eyebrow at him.

“And what makes you think I’ll let Marco do it?” Levi questions incredulously.

“It’s not a matter of letting him, he’ll convince you somehow. He’s even done Connie’s before.” Eren says, and Levi can’t help but grimace at that, “He does NOT make a pretty woman, by the way.”

“Tch, I could have told you that brat. But that doesn’t change anything, no one will be putting make-up on me, not you, not Marco, not anyone. I let you do ONE video, and that was for light make-up only.” Levi states, folding his arms in solidity.

“Sweetie, I’m not going to make you look stupid or anything. If I’m being honest, I think you’d look pretty incredible. But ultimately, it’s your decision, I’m not going to force you if you really don’t want to do it.” Eren promises, raising his hands in surrender.

“It’s so many people Eren…it would be different if it were just you and me…” Levi says uncomfortably, eyes gazing at the floor and refusing to look into Eren’s mismatched ones out of fear of making promises he’s too coward to act upon.

This has Eren thinking for a moment, and his face has such a strange expression that Levi has to question it after a few seconds.

“What are you looking at me like that for, brat? Don’t be trying to think too hard now or you might hurt yourself.” Levi teases and Eren rolls his eyes before nudging Levi lightly on the shoulder.

“Rude. But no, I was just thinking that it wouldn’t be a terrible idea to postpone the video until tomorrow. I’ll update my Twitter and it’ll give me some time to think a little longer about what I want to do instead. And while I doubt that she’ll agree, I can even see if Mikasa would want to film tomorrow before dinner…but I do have one favour I would like to ask of you.” Eren says uncertainly as Levi gives him a curious look.

“And what would that be, kid?” Levi asks, resting back against the sofa in relief, safe in the knowledge he won’t be expected to be thrust in front of a camera today.

“I would still like to put make-up on you, proper make-up, not drag exactly. Just the two of us, no cameras, no prying eyes. What do you say?” Eren asks, nervous to the reaction of his usually surly, once homophobic boyfriend, wringing his hands together awkwardly to give himself something to do.

Levi stares at Eren for what feels like an eternity before sighing loudly in defeat, “You promise not to make me look stupid?”

Eren positively beams at him from the inside out, “I promise!”

+++

“You have to sit still, or I’ll mess it up and have to start all over again, you don’t want that do you?”

“But it feels weird, who the fuck puts this shit on their face every single fucking day?” Levi grumbles, flinching every time Eren touches the cold, black, liquid liner to his eyelids. No one mentioned anything about black liquids going anywhere near his eyes, or that it would be cold for that matter.

“Baby, I’m serious.” Eren says through an exasperated laugh, “I’m going to get this all over you and it’ll ruin your sweater, lets not have that happen today.”

“Well excuse me for being a little nervous at foreign, black things getting liquid all over my face!” Levi complains and grimaces when he hears Eren’s snort at his poor choice of words, “Oh, be a grown-up Eren!”

“Then be a man and suck it up dude!” Eren retorts, holding Levi’s head still with his free hand as he continues painting the winged liner on Levi’s lids.

They had gotten Levi’s foundation and concealer on without incident, Eren’s done it so many times now to cover his scarring and to fill in his eyebrow, that it’s become almost second nature for the pair of them. Levi hadn’t complained about the blusher or highlighter either, letting Eren do his thing with very little disdainful commentary, although he had remarked on Eren pointing some weird, brown stick in his face when it was time to contour. Eren had wiggled his eyebrows and earned himself a light smack upside the head for that one.

Eren has chosen a shimmery, rose pink for Levi’s eyelids, and it compliments his beautifully pale skin in such a lovely way that even Eren himself is surprised at how nice it looks on his boyfriend. As Eren’s skin is a fair amount darker than Levi’s pallor, he normally uses peachy colours on his face, while Levi definitely suits the pinker tones much better. The black winged liner, once it’s complete, successfully makes his sharp, steel eyes pop and Eren can’t help but grin at the result.

The last step of the make-up process is Levi’s lips, and while he’d originally planned on giving him a sexy, rouge red to compliment his white skin and ebony hair, he feels a deep plum colour will really enhance Levi’s dark, illustrious attitude instead. A killer combination, if he says so himself.

“Okay, I know this colour is dark, but it will look amazing, trust me.” Eren assures him, as he unscrews the lipstick and begins painting Levi’s lips with it.

“I’m here aren’t I?” Levi says while trying not to move his lips at all, proving as more of a challenge than he’d first anticipated.

Eren chuckles before wiping the backs of his fingers of the lipstick that had transferred on to them accidentally in Levi’s attempted to speak and grabs a couple of tissues to clean Levi’s neck of any dark patches. Eren pulls back and tilts Levi’s head this way and that, scrunching his face up a little, an action which worries Levi just a little if he’s honest.

“Shit brat, if I’m that hideous you can just clean it off you know?” Levi says with a scowl, and a hint of self-consciousness if Eren is not mistaken.

“No, sorry it’s not that. I just…I’d like to try something if that’s alright with you?” Eren asks, and Levi gives him an exasperated look.

“What the fuck do you think we’re doing here? If you’re going to do something, just do it!” Levi complains and Eren laughs at his annoyed, make-up covered face.

“Alright, jeez, I’ll be back in a minute!” Eren announces, kissing Levi’s cheek gently before leaving the room. “No peeking!” He calls from the hallway as an afterthought, and Levi pulls his hand back to his lap with a sigh.

When Eren returns to Levi’s room, he’s holding some things behind his back and makes a beeline so that he’s standing behind Levi’s chair instead. Levi is about to ask what the fuck he’s doing until he can feel something tight being pulled on to his head, covering his thick, black hair entirely. His eyes widen, and he reaches up to feel that Eren has placed one of his wigs caps on to his head and is currently sticking pins in his hair to keep it in place.

“Ouch, watch what you’re doing moron!” Levi grouches and Eren murmurs a quick apology, not stopping what he’s doing for a second. Levi wants to ask why his boyfriend is putting a wig on him, but it seems stupid to ask now, considering how far they’ve gone today. Fuck, if any of his friends or old squad could see him now…

Before Levi can think on it any further, Eren is fitting a long wig on to his head and de-tangling it as he pulls strands of fake hair out of Levi’s face. The hair reaches to just past his shoulders, is incredibly thick and it’s about as black as his own hair naturally. He fiddles with it a little in confusion as Eren begins running a brush through it to fix it.

“What the fuck Eren? Is this yours?” Levi asks, scowling at the long black hair he’s touching with his hands.

“I ordered it, but I’ve never worn it. Black hair doesn’t really suit me. I thought it would be a nice touch to your new make-up.” Eren says brightly, and finishes fixing the wig, kneeling in front of Levi’s face to brush the fringe and fiddle with the long waves so that they sit naturally against his shoulders.

“You look so beautiful…you’re breath-taking.” Eren whispers in wonder, eyes wide and mouth agape as he takes in the sight of Levi sitting staring at him with a raised brow and bewildered look on his face. Levi is pretty sure that the boy’s skin has taken on a shade that wouldn’t be too far from lobster red on the colour spectrum.

“Well then why don’t you show me then? Dumb shit.” Levi complains with no real bite, and Eren can’t help but grin before taking Levi’s hand and leading him to the full-length mirror in his own bedroom. When Levi manages to finally take a good look at his reflection, his silver eyes widen in shock.

He looks like a woman. A real woman.

His face is contoured and highlighted in a way that sharpens his features so that he could easily pass for a model on one those glossy, fashion magazines that Eren buys on occasions. His cheeks have a natural pink blush that’s been meticulously applied, they almost glow and sparkle with the white highlighter that’s been smeared on perfectly and his eyelids are a girly, rose pink with black eyeliner that gives him an almost cat-like look. His lips that were once thin and pretty non-existent are now full and pouty, lined darkly and stained with a gorgeous plum that gives him the appearance of a real femme-fatale. The long, dark locks complete his look by framing his face and helps to cover some of the broadness of his shoulders, giving them the illusion of being slight and rather feminine.

“I…I look…” Levi begins, and Eren comes up behind him, wrapping his arms around his waist once again.

“You look perfect.” Eren says with certainty, placing his head on one of Levi’s shoulder and kissing his jawline, “If I were straight, you’d be rejecting my ass right about now.”

Levi stares at himself in the mirror, turning his head at different angles and watching the movements curiously. He brings his hands up to his face and back down as if simply trying to prove that it is in fact him in the mirror. He can’t quite put his finger on how the knowledge that the stunning woman in the mirror is in fact him makes him feel, but it’s certainly not something he’s ever felt before.

“I…didn’t think it would be like this…I didn’t think it would feel so…” Levi cuts himself off, struggling to find the right words in the myriad of emotions he hadn’t expected to feel in this situation.

“Weird? Empowering? Familiar almost?” Eren asks knowingly, and Levi nods his assent.

“Yeah, it’s…kind of…like I know her already. Does that make me sound stupid?” Levi asks and Eren shakes his head with a smile.

“Not at all. She’s always been there, a part of you when you’ve needed it most. You’ve brought her out to act as your shield even when you didn’t know it yourself. And now you can wear her physically if you choose to, like armour, and nobody can ever take that away from you.” Eren says, and finally Levi understands.

He can finally see why Eren needs Rogue, how she’s become such a big part of his life, of who he is. Because while they are different people physically and, in some instances, mentally, they are still entirely one in the same. One mind, one body, but with one being worn as a disguise when things become too hard, too draining, too real. Eren has been using Rogue this whole time to ground himself, to feel like he can take on the whole damn world and reach his full potential with just a smattering of lip gloss. And in this moment, right in front of this mirror, in partial drag and sweatpants, for the first time in his life, Levi feels like he can do anything.

Levi turns his head so that he’s looking away from the mirror for the first time since he’s seen his reflection and brings his small hand up to caress Eren’s cheek. And without hesitation, disgust or anything even akin to uneasiness in this moment, he pulls Eren closer and gives him a soft, chaste, loving kiss on his willing lips.

The kiss deepens just a little without pushing too far, Levi is in full control and is not about to let it get out of hand while he’s having an epiphany, he’s afraid he might frighten it away. However, Eren doesn’t fight him, simply allowing himself to be led and he pulls back just as soon as he feels Levi pulling away to look into his eyes.

“I love you Eren Jaeger.” Levi declares, without even a hint of uncertainty, “Thank you.”

Eren gapes at him a little for a second before breaking out into his signature grin and nuzzling at Levi’s nose with his own.

“You’re very welcome. And right back at you.” Eren says before pulling Levi closer so that the smaller man can lean back against him and continue looking at the reflection of his new self for however long he wants.

“You know, you may want to come up with a name…if you want to, that is.” Eren suggests and Levi rolls his eyes, “No, I’m serious! You might find it helpful to give a name to the way you’re feeling when you want to…when you feel like this.” Eren says, choosing his words carefully so not to spook the older man, this is still very new to him after all.

“Tch, maybe… what would you suggest?” Levi asks with a raised eyebrow, his new look making Eren feel like he’s being scolded by a sexy female teacher. Before today, Eren would have said he was 100% gay, but right now he’s not so sure…maybe it’s just a Levi thing. Levisexual, he thinks, laughing to himself.

“I don’t know…maybe Warrior? Or Hope? Ahh I have it! Humanity’s Strongest!” Eren suggests and Levi pulls out of the younger man’s grasp.

“Shut the fuck up, what are you 12?” Levi scoffs, “How on Earth did you come up with something as good as Rogue when you have the imagination of a pre-pubescent teenager?”

“I don’t know dude, I just thought about the way she made me feel. It’s a rather personal thing, so you may want to think of something on your own. All I knew back then is that Rogue made me feel like I didn’t have to change myself to fit into a mould, I could be something different, step outside the crowd, you know? That’s where the idea for her name came from.” Eren explains, and Levi finds himself sighing, it makes sense but he’s unsure of how he could even go about doing that for himself.

Levi takes a long look at himself again, thinking of all the times he’s felt the way he does right now. He can picture them…when he was first accepted into the military despite his less than average height, how he pulled himself up from the ground, raising himself through the ranks until he gained the power and respect he deserves, fighting back in that hell hole when all his captors wanted to do was make him suffer, protecting Rogue Jaeger and not letting her fall to the hands of the scum making their attempts on her life…falling in love with Eren Jaeger despite what he grew up hearing about ‘fags’ from his Uncle Kenny, despite what he thought he knew after watching as Armin was violated in front of him, despite what he always thought about himself.

Those moments are what have carried Levi through his life, making him stronger, smarter and more powerful than he could imagine. He thinks of the times he’s heard the ideals of those around him and has worked to fight them, to become anti-them, and to stand taller than the tallest buildings, despite his miniscule build. And suddenly, he doesn’t have to think anymore, he knows his name. He knows it’s the right one. Has always known it.

“Leviathan.”

Chapter Text

Chapter 33

“Eren, I need to talk to you about something.” Levi pipes up suddenly from his place on the couch as his younger boyfriend snuggles up against him, paying not even an ounce of attention to the weird soap-drama show that’s currently on their TV.

“Let me guess, you’re pregnant?” Eren turns to look at him, grinning stupidly and gripping the soft fabric of the azure blue jumper that Levi had chosen to wear today. It’s been a number of weeks since Eren found his secret stash of clothes originally intended for women and since then he’s become rather comfortable in wearing them around their home, so it takes a few seconds for Levi to click on before rolling his eyes at the remark.

“No, incredibly enough.” Levi deadpans, “But it is something rather important, so if you could please sit up and look at me properly.”

Sensing the seriousness in Levi’s tone, Eren’s grin falls from his face and it’s all Levi can do not to cave again. He’s been meaning to tell Eren about Galliard since his meeting with Armin, but since then he’s had to deal with being outed as a secret crossdresser by his romantic, male partner and finding his very own drag persona…two things that Levi never thought would happen in this, or any other of his lifetimes for that matter.

In addition to that, any time he has attempted to tell Eren, something new has come up that requires their immediate attention. Annie and Armin have decided that instead of having the large spring wedding they’d originally planned for, they’re going to have a significantly smaller ceremony just before Christmas, just over a month away, consisting of only their nearest and dearest - Levi had been more than surprised to have been included in that rather tiny list of people. With Marco’s rapidly increasing health and mobility following the shooting, he and Jean had decided to re-open Maria’s on a part time only basis, which includes days Thursday, Friday and Saturday only. The reduced opening hours paired with the immense publicity the club got due to the nature of the crime and also Rogue’s affiliation, the club is almost always full, and Levi has to be on high alert whenever Eren/Rogue chooses to visit. As a patron instead of a performer.

Rogue managed to do her very final show as a regular at Maria’s without a hitch this time around, with all of her old regulars and best friends making an appearance for this one. Armin notably had been able to attend, as well as both of Eren’s parents, which meant Levi was able to meet Eren’s mother for the first time. Carla Jaeger - for all intents and purposes - is not a frightening nor even a remotely imposing woman, however when faced with her for the first time, Levi’s pulse was practically visible in his neck. It was as if she could sense that he and Eren were more than friends just with one look at the guilty expression on his face. Which, to be fair, it transpired that she actually could.

Once Rogue’s set had finished and she was safely in his sights – cringing visibly into her scotch while watching as Grisha Jaeger ‘bust some moves’ on the dancefloor to “Funky Town” with some other drag queens – Carla had approached him with a bright smile and a knowing look in her eyes. ‘Just be good to eachother’ was what she had said to him when he finally cracked, pinching his cheek affectionately before interlocking her arm with his and resting her head on his shoulder. Levi has never been used to anyone being so outwardly affectionate apart from Eren, however it was at that moment he decided he really liked Carla Jaeger.

“So, I’m guessing that going by the look on your face, we’re not getting a puppy?” Eren asks with a half-smile in an attempt to lighten the mood, and Levi finds it so endearing that he lets out an amused breath of air at the question.

“Not quite, brat. Although if we were ever to get a pet in this place, I would consider a cat only. But no, it’s not that. It’s about what happened to Marco.” Levi says and Eren bristles at the mention of it, it makes Levi not want to continue, but he knows realistically that he has to.

“I think, well, Erwin and I think we know who did it.” Levi continues, Eren’s eyes widening and ears practically perking up like a dog when he hears this, “Eren, do you remember a man named Marcel Galliard?”

Eren nods confusedly, “Yeah, we were in the same school for a while and…I used to sell coke to him. He was one of my regulars, I didn’t have many. I heard he managed to quit a while back, I think it was a lot harder for him though. His parents didn’t have the money and resource that mine did. In fact, if I’m remembering right, he only ever had his mom. That’s right! My dad mentioned she’d gotten sick…with cancer, I think? He didn’t think she was going to make it for a while, but apparently, she got a bit better. I think that’s around the time Marcel got clean.”

Levi listens intently, nodding his head when necessary and making mental notes in his head, his story so far matching Pastor Nick’s almost exactly, “You said you guys went to the same school, while you were there, did he ever…was he ever hateful towards gay people or members of the LGBT community, that you know of?”

“What is this Levi? What’s with the interrogation?” Eren asks uncomfortably, his glare not quite reaching his eyes fully.

“I just need to know Eren.” Levi insists with no further explanation, and Eren sighs deeply.

“No, he didn’t. If anything, I would say he was more than supportive of the community. He was friends with Bertl and Reiner back then, had known Bert since they were kids, and would always say how much he wished they would just get over themselves and date already. He would even suggest that he should be best man at their wedding…” Eren says sadly, trailing off suddenly, no doubt thinking of his late friend. Levi has never gotten the impression that Eren and Bertholdt were overly close, but their entire friend group is almost like a large family, any loss no matter how personally close or not would be like losing a limb, Levi imagines.

“And that didn’t change during the drug addiction or anything?” Levi asks curiously and Eren shakes his head vehemently.

“Not at all, whenever I was selling to him, he would make a point to ask about how they were doing. Annie too. You see, Marcel was one of the good kids, he was real smart and was going places, you know? When his brother died, it was like the whole world stopped turning for him, and he hit back at everyone and everything he knew. People pay attention when a kid like that goes off the rails. Bert, Annie and Reiner got hurt in the process and he ended up quitting school before anyone even realised I was acting any different. Everyone was used to my outbursts by then, so it didn’t strike them as something to be concerned about.” Eren explains, “But Marcel…man, he lost everything. When I got back from rehab, he approached me and asked if I was still in the business of selling. That his new dealer lived miles out, was charging him through the nose and that he’d gladly bring his business back to me. I told him that I wasn’t and…he smiled. He just wished me the best of luck with everyone and that I was to pass his regards on to the others. I never saw him again after that.”

“Damn.” Levi says simply once Eren has stopped recounting his past with the tragic man from Pastor Nick’s story. This all but confirms that Marcel Galliard did not set out to attack Marco in an act of hatred…although he had pretty much narrowed that down already. Instead, there is another thought clogging up Levi’s mind at the moment. He’d always thought in his life that drug addiction was an easy enough concept, that those who fell to it’s clutches were weak minded and needed to get in touch with reality, but hearing about the bright young man who lost his world in the blink of an eye… and looking at the man that he now loves, the one who was too afraid to accept himself for who he is…it puts it into perspective for Levi, and he feels nothing but a great deal of sympathy and sadness for them both.

“I can’t imagine how hard it must have been for him to quit.” Eren says, “When I heard that he managed it, I was surprised to say the least. I had always assumed that the next I would hear of Marcel would be that he had died or was in prison for doing something stupid like I…well, like I could have done. All I remember about rehab was that I was vomiting a lot, shaking almost constantly and that I would have done anything for a hit. There were always staff there to talk me down, other recovering addicts to remind me why I was there and my own self hatred to make me want to stay. He had nothing, not like that anyway, and he still managed it.”

“Eren, I hate to put you in this position…” Levi begins softly, and Eren just looks on at him with big, bright eyes, “Do you think that there is any reason that Marcel would have wanted to hurt you or any of your friends?”

“You think he did this, don’t you?” Eren asks, there is no accusatory or affronted tone in his voice, he’s simply asking, “You think that he’s a Titan.”

Levi shifts slightly uncomfortably at the directness of Eren’s statement, “I…Erwin and I have reason to believe that he conducted the attack on Maria. We have no concrete evidence, nor do we have anything other than a couple of stories to go by, but so far, he’s the only name we’ve been able to come up with. And my gut feeling tells me that we’ve found the right guy.”

“I could understand why he would want to hurt me; I do. But I don’t believe he would do something like this to Maria or to Nac for that matter, he didn’t even know them. And he certainly wouldn’t have done it to Bertholdt, they were like brothers…no matter how things ended between them.”

“Neither do I.” Levi supplies, “But I also don’t think he was working alone or even directly with the Titans. All we know is that Marcel was the one who leaked the information of your show to the public, he led the Titans to Maria’s and we can place him there at the time of the shooting also. I…I don’t know for certain if it was him, but Erwin thinks that it was Marcel who he tailed for a while. He followed him to the East side of town, to some abandoned buildings and he heard part of a phone conversation. Obviously, Erwin’s never heard Marcel’s voice before, so he can’t actually confirm they are one in the same.”

“Abandoned buildings on the East side?” Eren’s eyes go rather wide, “Apartment buildings?”

“How did you know that?” Levi asks with a narrowed gaze. Abandoned, derelict apartment buildings were how Erwin had described them.

“We…we used to go their sometimes. It was a good place to go to for privacy and if you were locked out at night or didn’t want the Spanish inquisition as soon as you walked in the door. Everybody there had their own problems and were good for nothing deadbeats anyway, no one even blinked an eyelid when we went there.” Eren explains, and his eyes cloud over with an emotion that Levi is unable to place, “So he really did it, huh?”

“I think so.” Levi states solemnly, “But like I say, I have no real evidence.”

“Then Marco, Nac and Bertholdt…what happened to them, it’s all connected to me right? The hate crimes, the Titans…none of it’s been real. These murders, they haven’t been random. That’s what you’re about to tell me?” Eren asks, although he phrases it like a statement…like he already knows.

“Eren, nothing is for sure…”

“But that’s what you think, isn’t it?” Eren cuts him off abruptly, moving himself away from his boyfriend’s body and folding his arms in front of himself, “And if so, then I wanna know.”

Levi sighs deeply, leans forward so that his elbows are resting on his knees and begins to rub at his sore temples, “Yes. Okay? I think that you’re the common factor in this situation.”

Eren says nothing, simply gets up from the couch, arms still folded and moves across to the other side of the room. He stops and stands just staring outside the window at the view. Shiganshina is much warmer than Trost at this time of year, and despite it being near the middle of November, the sun can still be seen in the sky, even if the residents have taken to wearing slightly warmer jackets now.

“Have you told the police about any of this?” Eren asks, still looking out the window, “They could maybe get in contact with the district police in Trost and Karanes…”

“No, they’re useless, almost as completely pointless as the military police in the inner cities. Armin’s team have taken over this case under the guise of eradicating the Titans.”

“Oh, you’ve got to be kidding me!” Eren shouts and whips round to face Levi, “Bertholdt is dead. He is never coming back, and I have to look Reiner in the face and know that I’m the reason for that! That it’s my fault! A kid, an 18-year-old kid from Karanes, with his whole life ahead of him was murdered because he decided to talk to me in the wrong place, at the wrong time. He is gone, and that’s on me! And Marco…a man that’s like a brother to me, was almost killed and has had his whole life entirely changed forever, because someone out there is looking to send me a message. And now, Armin, my best friend in the whole world, is involved and actively trying to hunt them down…who do you think is going to be next Levi?!”

Eren is practically screaming the words at him now, so Levi stands up and slowly begins approaching him in a way that one would a wild animal, “Armin is entirely different. He is trained for this, Eren. And whoever is orchestrating this can’t go after Armin anyway if they’re using the Titans as a shield, he doesn’t fit the profile!”

“That doesn’t matter! People are murdered all the time! Even if they are using the Titans as a cover up, who’s to say that they won’t just kill him anyway and pin it on someone else! I’m not naïve enough anymore to believe that Armin’s line of work isn’t dangerous, desk job my ass!”

Levi places a tentative yet comforting hand on Eren’s shoulder in a calming gesture as the younger man visibly shakes with anger that melts in an immediate pool of fatigue as soon as Levi touches him.

“I’ve never believed that the Titans were the ones behind all of this…I’ve faced them before and beaten one half to death. That was different, a truly random attack…the shootings felt personal, and I couldn’t put my finger on it. Part of me started to believe that I was just being selfish and that my ego was getting in the way…that my pride was hurt. No, I know now what this is…someone, somewhere is out for my blood. And I wish that this would all just stop…if they want my blood, they should just stop stealing innocent lives and just fucking take it from me! I’ll give it to them willingly if it means no one else has to get hurt!” Eren’s shouts of anger very rapidly turn into harsh sobs that make his knees buckle from underneath him, and Levi has to physically hold him up, wrapping both arms tightly around the younger man’s waist, “No one else needs to die protecting me! Not Erwin, not Armin, and especially not you! I would never forgive myself if anything happened to you, Levi. It would tear my heart apart, rip my body to shreds and destroy me from the ground up! I…couldn’t bear it…it would kill me…I couldn’t live without you…not now.”

“Shh Eren…” Levi coos softly in his ear, using one of his hands to softly rest just under Eren’s chin as he speaks, “Listen to me, and listen to me good. Nobody you love is going to die, okay? Not anymore. You are not going to lose another fucking person you care about to these sick sons of bitches; I promise you that. I promise you that with every fibre of my being, that we are going to find these fuckers and that they’ll wish they had never been born. But for now, I will NEVER stop protecting you Eren. I will spend every waking moment of my life making sure that no one ever hurts you again. You’ve changed me Eren, you and Rogue, in ways that I had never even thought possible. You’re part of me now, without you, there is no me. Do you understand that?”

Eren’s violent sobs begin to simmer into slightly shaking shoulders and hitches of breath, and he nods at Levi’s sudden declaration, “I feel the same way about you. I don’t want to lose you, I can’t. Not after everything we’ve been through. I love you, Levi. I know I say it all the fucking time, but I do.”

Levi huffs out an amused breath, “I love you too, shit for brains. And nobody is going to take you away from me. Not while there is still breath left in my body.”

Eren smiles shyly at him then, tears and snot still running down his face, and Levi can’t bring himself to care as he loses himself in the kiss that follows. Soft lips and tongues moving steadily against one another in a well-choreographed dance that has been refined over time, allowing them to express those feelings for eachother that just can’t be vocalised, there simply are no words. At least not in any dictionary that Levi owns. There are just feelings…and flashes…and colours…and all he knows is that he feels safer than he’s ever felt before in his life.

Although, he does begin to slightly regret his final sentence upon reflection, as Eren’s eager lips against his have so far never failed to leave him breathless.

+++

Levi and Eren remain entirely wrapped up in eachother for quite some time, never moving any further than their confident kisses to their partner’s lips and neck or the odd touch here and there. A hand running through hair or splayed fingers across a back, innocent but wholly passionate in its own way.

Entranced, is the word that comes to mind when describing the scene, exclusively lost in one another, like no one else exists in the entire world.

So much so that neither of them looks out of the window again, despite still standing right in front of it, in full view of everyone and everything.

And so, neither of them spots the hooded figure hidden in plain sight, blending right into the small passing of people going in both directions in front of their house this afternoon. They fade straight into the background, like part of a painting, but not the main focal point. As if everyone’s eyes will focus everywhere else before they’d even notice that it was there. And some people do begin to notice eventually, a person in a black hoodie in the middle of a relatively sunny day, standing stock-still and facing a different direction than everybody else. It’s only then that they realise this figure is slightly more out of place than they’d originally thought.

But it doesn’t matter, the hooded figure has seen all they need to see. Without a word or a big grand gesture, they place a set of earphones in each ear and begin to walk away in a different direction, melting back into the scene with very little effort at all.

Once the figure is a few blocks away, they pull out a cellphone and the call that they make is answered within a matter of rings.

“H-hello sir, it’s Galliard. I know you said to only contact you if it was a matter of life and death…but there’s been a development that I think you should know about.”

Chapter Text

Chapter 34

“Levi, can you pass the basket of bread please?” Eren requests, making pitiful attempts to reach over Levi to retrieve it.

“Can’t you see my hands are full, brat? Get up and get it yourself.” Levi complains, continuing to help Kaya manage her small plate of potatoes and gravy as she sits happily on his lap. She’s just over a year old now and has successfully graduated from eating entirely pureed baby food, much to Levi’s relief. The amount of pureed peas and carrots he’d had trouble cleaning from his clothes has been migraine inducing at times, not that he’d have had it any other way.

“I’ll get it!” Sasha announces from her seat directly across from Levi, picking up the small basket and handing it to Eren, although not before grabbing three rolls for herself first.

“Does everybody have enough food??” Marco asks, attempting to stand up in the process, “I can go get some more bread.”

“Marco, sit down babe.” Jean urges, resting a firm hand on his shoulder and effectively holding him in place, “You still need to take it easy.”

“The crutches have been gone for over a week now, I’m fine!” Marco insists as Jean continues to try and keep his fiance in his seat.

“It’s fine Marco.” Historia insists with a smile from her seat on the other side of Eren, “We all know where the kitchen is. If we need anything else, we can go and get it.”

“Are you sure?” Marco asks timidly, looking a little self-conscious at his own question, as if the idea of his dinner guests fending for themselves is an abhorrent concept to him. And knowing Marco for as long as he has, Levi supposes that it is.

“Yeah sure, as long as it’s not Sasha, I think we can manage to bring food back from the kitchen ourselves.” Ymir jokes at Sasha’s expense, whilst said woman is far too busy stuffing her face to even notice. Connie, however, just laughs good-naturedly as his wife’s attempts to stick an entire bread roll in her mouth.

“Come on now, ugly. We all know you’re just saying that because you’re jealous that you missed your chance to marry me yourself.” Connie smirks with a teasing tone, causing most of the table to laugh and snort in amusement.

“Ha! Whatever helps you sleep at night short-stack.” Ymir hits back before adding, “No offence, Levi.”

“None taken.” Levi assures as he helps Kaya take a long drink from her purple sippy cup. It’s become clear to him over the last few months that Connie and Ymir have the kind of relationship that’s not unlike that of Jean and Eren’s, although with far less name calling.

“It’s not like I can even call him baldie anymore.” Ymir complains, ruffling Connie’s fair amount of sandy coloured fuzz, almost exactly the same shade as his daughter’s.

“You try maintaining a buzz cut with a newly walking one year old, there’s not enough time in the day.” Connie jokes.

“And having long hair,” Sasha begins around a mouthful of roast chicken and gravy, little droplets of it running down her chin, “That’s a big no no.”

Levi grimaces at Sasha’s lack of table manners and despite her disgusting appearance at the moment, she is quite correct about the having long hair thing. Alice had told him the exact same thing while he was growing up and had countless young children and babies living with them.

“And I have to say, even though it sucks how it happened, I am rather relieved about the reduced hours at the club.” Sasha says apologetically, although Marco and Jean just wave her off with a kind smile, “My parents could only afford to rent in the city until Kaya turned one. They’ve had to go back to Dauper and honestly? We may have had to have gone with them if things were different.”

Connie nods in agreement, “Yeah, childcare costs are nothing to be scoffed at, especially here in Shiganshina. Luckily, we’re now home four evenings a week and Kaya has pre-school during the day, so we really only need a babysitter during the evenings at weekends. This girl practically begged for the chance; her name is Gabi…something. She just kind of appeared out of nowhere, but she’s been really helpful.

“Our first choice had been Levi, of course, but he already has a full-time babysitting job with Eren.” Sasha says teasingly, causing the table to howl with laughter. Eren pouts and Levi pats him on the shoulder.

“Tch, I’d have still jumped at the chance.” Levi says, as Kaya begins patting his face to show him something she no doubt has shown him before. He still feigns the same amount of interest regardless.

The talk of childcare and lifestyle changes opens up a round of questions about parenthood from Marco, Jean, Historia and Ymir. It’s no secret to the group that both couples are keen to have their own families one day, so Levi simply zones out, perfectly happy to give Kaya his unlimited attention. That is, until he notices the look on Mikasa’s face.

While she’s not normally smiling or even remotely cheerful for that matter, there’s something about her expression just now that makes Levi take notice. She’s paler than normal, which in itself is rather worrying, and looks as if she’s on the verge of a complete meltdown going by the way she’s gripping her fork. Not her usual stoic, unbothered self in the slightest. For the last couple of weeks, Eren has been trying to get her to open up about what’s been eating her, but without any luck. Levi himself had even attempted to get a moment alone with her at the last few dinners, but she’s taken to leaving early these days rather than staying for her usual drink with Jean, Marco and Reiner.

Levi’s mental assessment, however, is cut short by the feeling of Eren’s hand on his back. It’s only a fleeting touch, as if Eren had forgotten himself for a moment, and going by the redness on his cheeks, Levi assumes that is exactly what happened. But it’s not the touch that gets him thinking, it’s the connotations behind it. All this talk of family and children, while Levi himself is holding a baby at the time, and only then has Eren ever slipped up in front of his friends and sister. The idea of kids has always been something that Levi has held close to his heart for as long as he can remember…but kids with Eren, he hadn’t even considered it before now. The entire nature of their relationship is still something completely new to him, he’s still becoming accustomed to it more and more every day. But what he does know is that he wants to be with Eren for as long as humanly possible…and he does so want to be a father one day too…and if he wants both, then that would logically mean…

“So Eren, when are you and Levi leaving us to go on tour again?” Reiner asks suddenly, pulling Levi out of his reverie. Surprisingly, however, it’s Annie that answers for them.

“I thought I told you Reiner, they’re not leaving until the second week in January. Nile had wanted them to start in December, but with the holidays and having to get all the promotional stuff done before then, it just wasn’t feasible.”

“Plus, with Annie and Armin’s wedding on December 16th, there’s no chance we would have been back in time for it.” Eren explains, “And there is no chance in hell I’d miss that for the world.”

“I’m really sorry again, Eren.” Annie says, “If we’d known it’d cause so much disruption to your tour plans, we would have just waited until the spring. I didn’t even think about it.”

“Don’t be silly Annie, it’s no problem. Your wedding comes first and that’s that.” Eren insists.

“He’s right, and anyway Mr Zackly himself said that the schedule was tight enough before Christmas, no matter what Nile thinks about it.” Levi assures her, “And Rogue still has a schedule for the next month despite all the delays.”

“I know, but I’m supposed to be your manager and my own wedding has taken priority over everything else. It’s just that with everything that’s happened recently, it’s put our whole lives into perspective and what with Armin’s job, life is just too short to worry having a big celebration and…”

Bang!

The whole table jumps in shock and Marco presses his hands over his ears in fright at the loud noise. Levi whips his head around to the source of the sound and finds Mikasa on her feet with her fist still pressed harshly against the dark wood of the dinner table. Her eyes have a rather crazed look and she’s breathing heavily through her nostrils as she stares angrily at her ex-girlfriend.

“Shut up! Just shut up Annie!” Mikasa yells at her, “Nobody cares, okay? Nobody cares about you or your newfound respect for life. You’re not the only person whose life has been changed in the last few months, so stop acting like it is! The world doesn’t revolve around you!”

Levi flinches a little at Mikasa’s tirade, remembering the words he’d once thrown at Rogue, and then Maria, once upon a time. He just hopes that Mikasa wouldn’t say anything that she’d regret as much as he does one day.

“I-I’m sorry, I didn’t realise that I was.” Annie attempts to explain until Eren speaks up on her behalf.

“You haven’t Ann. Mikasa, you’re way out of line here.” He says warningly, casting a glance at Jean, who is trying his hardest to calm Marco down, his hands still firmly pressed over his ears and his eyes clenched shut.

“I’m out of line?! Of course, because everything is always my fault! Eren becomes a junkie and Annie breaks up with me, as if I’m the problem! Levi is a homophobic asshole, but obviously I’m the one that needs to be told to be quiet after being the only person here brave enough to call him out on his bullshit! And poor little Annie doesn’t want a big wedding that her father is willing to pay for, but I’m the one that’s out of line for daring to remind her that there are more important things going on in the world than her stupid fucking wedding!” Mikasa snarls and Historia holds out an open palm in an effort to placate her.

“Mika, that’s enough now. You’re scaring Marco and Kaya is all upset now. This is not the time or place to start a fight. I think you need to cool off a little.” She says soothingly, and Mikasa looks around to take note of the myriad of shocked or angry expressions of those sitting at the table. Sasha sheepishly gets up out of her seat and gently takes the now whimpering infant from Levi, moving her away from the now hostile dining room.

“Whatever, I’m gonna go out for some air.” Mikasa resolves eventually, placing down her napkin and storming away from the table, through the kitchen and out into the back garden.

The room is silent for a few seconds after the door slams behind her, save for the harsh breaths coming from Marco and the gentle coos coming from his fiance in an effort to bring him back in the room. Levi knows the feeling all too well, PTSD is the term that they use but nobody really understands, not unless you’ve been moments away from life or death.

The rest of the inhabitants begin busying themselves in clearing the table or chatting amongst themselves, not wanting to crowd Marco yet not wanting to isolate him either. It’s then that Eren chooses to speak up.

“I’m gonna go talk to her, she doesn’t get away with that. I don’t care what’s going on with her these days.” Eren says, still looking relatively pissed off and Levi stops him in his tracks.

“No, you’re not, you’re too emotional for that right now.” Levi says sternly, “I’ll go and talk to her. She can shout and scream at me all she wants. You remember those steps I took you through on what to do if either of us are having a panic attack? Maybe some of those would help Marco and Jean right now.”

Eren nods, “Okay, but only if you’re sure?”

“Positive.” Levi responds with a half-smile, and the pair share a look that’s full of love and admiration that goes completely unnoticed by everyone else.

After giving Eren’s upper arm a light squeeze in reassurance, Levi turns away and moves towards the back exit, opening and closing the door gently behind him so not to make any more noises that would no doubt frighten Marco even further.

The garden at the back of Jean and Marco’s house is a stunning half-acre of land, give or take, that is shared with the other neighbouring house on their side of the street, although with them being a rather elderly couple they’ve pretty much given Levi’s friends free reign over it. There have been numerous barbecues, garden parties and flag football games played in this very garden since Levi has been around, and it’s offered great solitude whenever Levi has wanted to just take some time to unwind and read a book while Eren has goofed around with his friends. There is a very light dew of condensation on the blades of grass under his shoes, and he imagines the entire garden will be covered in frost in the upcoming weeks, maybe even a light dusting of snow if the weather allows for it. Levi thinks it’ll be even more beautiful then.

He spots her over near the big ass trees at the end of the garden, pacing around with her hands on her hips and her head facing the heavens, chest heaving with heavy breaths if he isn’t mistaken. He heads over in her direction and calls out.

“Oi! Mikasa!”

She brings her head down sharply and whips around to face him, still scowling but not quite as scornfully as she had been back in the house.

“I have nothing to say to you, Levi, so you may as well just go away.”

“Oh yes you do. And I’m not going anywhere until you explain yourself.” Levi insists.

“Excuse me?” Mikasa asks incredulously, narrowing her dark eyes at him.

“You’ve been acting off for weeks now, there’s clearly something wrong. Eren pointed it out to me, but it’s been hard to miss how reluctant you are to do anything with the group anymore. You don’t come to the house anymore, despite the fact Eren has been begging you to make a video with him, one that you yourself had been desperate to be part of! You come to dinner and then leave straight after without a word, you don’t stay for a drink. You don’t even come to Maria’s anymore. What’s the matter Mikasa? Are you scared of going back or something?”

“It’s not that!” Mikasa blurts out before trailing off again.

“Then what is it? Because I don’t have an explanation for how you’ve been acting. And I certainly don’t have an explanation on what just happened in there either.”

“And neither do I, okay?!” Mikasa snaps, holding a palm to her head and screwing her eyes shut. In the half year he’s known her, Levi has never once seen Mikasa look anything other than composed, determined or pissed. He’s never seen her look so out of sorts before, it’s rather disconcerting to say the least.

“The things you said in there,” Levi emphasises with a tilt of his head in the direction of the house, “Did you mean them?”

“No, of course not.” Mikasa sighs, “I don’t why I said them. I didn’t want to hurt Eren, or Annie, or even you. Not really. And I certainly didn’t want to frighten Marco like that…I really fucked up, didn’t I?”

“Yeah.” Levi agrees, “But we all get to fuck up every once in a while, even you. And you weren’t entirely wrong, you do get a lot of the brunt when things go wrong and that’s not fair either.”

“It still doesn’t make what I said right.”

“No, it doesn’t. Which is why I want to know what’s been going on with you recently. Now, I know that you couldn’t give a shit about me or anything I may think about you, so you may as well put your pride to one side and tell me.”

Mikasa rubs at her forehead a few more times before dropping her hand to her side and sighing, “You can’t tell anyone, not yet. You have to promise that you’ll keep this to yourself until I…figure things out. I can’t have everyone knowing and confusing me right now, especially not Eren.”

“You have my word.” Levi promises, and Mikasa nods her head in resolve before taking a few deep breaths and opening her mouth to speak.

“I’m pregnant.” She practically breathes out, as if the relief of finally saying it aloud has taken some of the pressure away.

Levi tries not to gape in surprise, although he thinks his eyes may have given him away ever so slightly. Of all the things she could have said, that’s not what he had been expecting. He’d been thinking it may have had something to do with her job, the stress of being a new owner of a car repair shop with minimal staff under her would no doubt be overwhelming to anyone, but pregnancy? No wonder she looked as if she was on the verge of tears during the conversations earlier.

“Are…are you sure?” Levi asks dumbly, but Mikasa doesn’t comment, simply nodding her head.

“Yeah, I took about four tests just to make sure. And if that weren’t enough, I went to a clinic, and they confirmed it too. It’s also since been confirmed that I’m just over 2 months along, I found about 4 weeks ago. I’m due my first sonogram in a couple weeks.” Mikasa explains, and Levi’s head begins reeling at the information. 4 weeks ago? That’s around the time Eren had first mentioned Mikasa’s odd behaviour, it makes so much sense now why she’s been so distant. It’s also around the time she stopped talking to Erwin, much to his best friend’s disappointment. Wait, Erwin!

“Is Erwin the father?” Levi asks gently, and Mikasa all but rolls her eyes at him.

“Yes, Erwin is the father.” She declares as if it should’ve been perfectly obvious, “I haven’t been with another man in years. It can only be his.”

Levi lets this information sink in for a second, while he’s certain that Erwin doesn’t know - he’s sure he would have told him by now – but he feels the need to ask anyway.

“And does Erwin know?”

Mikasa shakes her head, “He called me just after I’d been to the clinic. I was all over the place and I ended up telling him not to contact me again. He tried a few more times for about a week or so after I hung up on him and then he just stopped. I think he took the hint after that.”

“Mikasa,” Levi says carefully, “surely the man deserves to know that you’re carrying his child. Even if it’s just to tell him that you don’t want him to be involved, he should at least be given the courtesy of knowing.”

“I know.” Mikasa sighs, “I know, I do, it’s just…I’m scared. I guess we’re both to blame in the end, I’m usually really careful with protection regardless of my partner it’s just…I’m assuming I must have gotten pregnant right after the shooting. Erwin had just gotten back to my apartment in the middle of the night after everything happened and we just…just wanted to feel alive, you know? And we didn’t…use anything…”

“Regardless of who is or isn’t to blame, Mikasa, you still have to tell him. And in terms of being scared, I understand, but I’m telling you right now that Erwin would NEVER hurt you. He never would anyway, but especially not while you’re pregnant with his child. And if he ever did, he knows that I would give him hell for it. You don’t have to be scared about that.” Levi promises, and Mikasa covers her mouth with the red scarf that Levi had only vaguely realised she’d been wearing. The one that Eren bought for her when they were young.

“Thank you Levi, I know he’d never hurt me. I know he isn’t that kind of man it’s just…the fear of the unknown, I guess. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking recently…about what I’m gonna do about this,” She says gesturing to her flat stomach, “And I don’t think I could ever have an abortion, I just…I can’t do it to them. I already care more than I can understand. Yesterday I was working on a car that had been called in as an emergency repair, and I was reaching up to the top shelf for a part that Hannes must have left up there before he left. Normally, I wouldn’t even have cared, would have just grabbed it and gone, but I was so conscious that it was going to fall that I kept one arm wrapped around my stomach the entire time. Ridiculous, I know.”

“It’s not ridiculous at all.” Levi reassures her, “Whether you like it or not kid, you’re a mother now. And whether you choose to give them up or not, you’ll always be a mother. They’ll always have been in there and there is nothing anyone can say or do to erase that fact.”

Mikasa’s eyes begin brimming with tears, “I think I’ve always known that I’m going to keep it, I just needed to work out the logistics of work and being able to afford to keep us both afloat. I still haven’t figured it all out, but I just can’t stomach the idea of giving it up. I know what it’s like to be an orphan, and I don’t want that for my baby. I did this, and now I have to do right by them. And we’ll be okay…no matter how hard it might be.”

Levi smiles at the image of Mikasa unconsciously caressing her flat abdomen, as if cradling her unborn baby. It fills Levi with an odd sense of jealousy and pride, with the latter winning out. While he and Mikasa have not always seen eye to eye, she’s a mature woman and he can feel only the utmost respect for her in her position.

“You know that you’re not alone in all this right? You have your parents, your friends, Eren will always be there for you…and me too.” Mikasa gives Levi a rare smile when he says this, and it only strikes him then how truly similar they are, all the way down to their shared last name, “And I know you may not want to hear it right now, but no matter what you may think, Erwin will never see you go without, regardless of how much or how little you want him involved. He’ll do anything that he can to make things right for you and his child.”

“I do know that.” Mikasa says with a nod, “He’s a good man…a really good man, and one that I could have probably seen myself having a future with…but it’s complicated. We’re not in love, not yet…not like Jean and Marco, or Connie and Sasha…or you and Eren.”

Levi begins spluttering incoherently when Mikasa makes that comment, “W-what…what are you talking about? Me and E-Eren, we’re just…we’re just friends.” He states, trying to maintain control over his voice to sound as dismissive as possible, but one look at Mikasa tells him it hasn’t worked.

“I’m not stupid Levi.” Mikasa says with a teasing smirk, “I see the way you look at eachother. The way you lean close to whisper, the way you touch when you think no one is looking…the way you smile only for him. Being stuck in my own head about all this has given me a lot of time to think and notice things I probably would have missed at any other time. There’s no use lying to me about it.”

“I…” Levi begins, but realises immediately that his attempts to deny it will probably be futile, and besides she’ll find out one day anyway, “I’m sorry that we didn’t tell you. As you can imagine, things have been a little…confusing as of late.”

“Yeah, no kidding.” Mikasa lets out a laugh, it makes her look younger when she laughs, “If you’d given me the odds on this happening when we first met, I’d have said never in a million years! But now…it sort of makes sense, it’s not such a weird idea anymore.”

“How do you mean?” Levi asks curiously.

“It’s just that…you spend every waking moment together. You work together, you live together, you eat together…I don’t need to know if you sleep together.” She says with her hands in surrender, “But on top of that, you’ve both had rough lives, you’ve both had your demons and despite how different they are, you both got through it. You did it separately, meaning that you’re both just as headstrong as the other…and in my mind that makes you similar, like kindred spirits, you know? So, it’s not all surprising that things have turned out this way. Especially since Eren has been making heart eyes at you for months now and you could never keep your eyes off Rogue for more than a second at a time!”

Levi blushes then, “So…You’re not mad then? About Eren and I being together?”

Mikasa is silent for a beat, “I thought I would be, if it ever happened. But then Marco got shot and I…I saw what kind of person you truly are, and I knew that you would take good care of Eren. That he’d be in good hands with you.”

“I’ll never let anything happen to him, not while I can help it. I’ve already promised Grisha, and I wouldn’t insult either of you by lying to your faces. But…I do think you also have to give your brother more credit Mikasa.” Levi says pointedly, “Everyone talks about how I protect Eren, and it is technically my job to do so. But none of you realise how much Eren has helped me…how much he’s changed my life, how he’s saved it more than he can ever know. I don’t just take care of him…we take care of eachother.”

“And I’m truly glad to hear that.” Mikasa says honestly, “Because now that I’m pregnant, I’m going to be in no fit state to knock some sense into the pair of you.”

“Tch, glad to see you’re in a better mood than before kid.” Levi remarks and Mikasa has the good sense to look sheepish.

“Yeah, I better go and apologise for that…I’ll just need to come up with some excuse that doesn’t offer a lot of questions.”

“I can help you with that. So long as you keep what you know about Eren and I a secret. For now, at least.”

“You’ve got a deal, so long as you keep my secret.” Mikasa promises with a smirk, which Levi returns as he leads them back to the house, his palm pressed lightly to the small of her back as they walk.

“Just one more thing,” Mikasa says, causing them both to stop abruptly before they go any further, “If you do happen to hurt Eren in any way, pregnant or not, I will not hesitate to castrate you.”

Levi’s eyes widen a millimetre before he snorts in amusement, “I wouldn’t have it any other way, brat.”

They continue on their way back to the house, although this time Mikasa wraps her own arm around Levi’s back too and they lean against eachother with a new understanding and newly forming friendship.

Chapter Text

Chapter 35

“I can’t believe you’re still refusing to tell me what she said to you.” Eren remarks for around the tenth time in the last 12 hours, practically dragging his feet like a petulant child as they walk the distance from Jean and Marco’s house to Levi’s car.

They’d stayed over last night, as Levi hadn’t been too keen on leaving Jean all by himself to deal with the aftermath of Marco’s episode, and going by the look that his friend had given him following the offer, Jean had been more than grateful for the company.

“And like I’ve said time and time again, brat, it’s not my place to tell you.” Levi insists once more. He can’t blame Eren for wanting to know, seeing as he’s her brother after all, and he’d been the one that had pointed out Mikasa’s strange behaviour in the first place. Not to mention the fact that she’d pretty much dragged him through the mud during her rant at Annie last night. It’s only natural that he’d be chomping at the bit to know the details, but Levi had promised.

“You can’t expect me not to ask after saying something like that!” Eren pouts ridiculously, “It has to be something big or you’d just tell me straight out. The fact that you’re being so quiet about it suggests you’ve either been sworn or blackmailed into secrecy.”

Levi sighs, “Then if that’s the case, you should either respect the fact that I can’t say anything, or you should go and ask Mikasa yourself.” Not that he thinks she would tell him, but it’d keep Eren off his back about it for a couple of hours at least.

“I don’t want to talk to her right now.” Eren says, scowling, “Not after all those things she said. I don’t give a fuck what she said about me, I’m a drag queen, I get shit thrown at me all the time. But you and Annie…that wasn’t fair. Annie has mentioned her wedding maybe three times in the last few weeks and you…you’ve come a long way since back then. She was wrong to say what she did, and you shouldn’t have let her get away with it either.”

“Eren, please…” Levi begins as he unlocks and lets himself into the driver’s seat of the car, “Please just trust me on this one. When I spoke to her yesterday, I didn’t have to chew her out for what she said, she already knew she fucked up and was feeling sorry for it, I didn’t need to say anything else. And besides, she wasn’t entirely wrong about me, no matter how biased you may be.”

“That wasn’t any of her business!” Eren argues, slamming the car door of the passenger side behind him, “That fight was between you, me and Marco, and it was fixed before she ever even had the chance to see you again. If she had been mad about anything, it should have been the fact that you almost broke her arm when you first met.”

“Tch, I’d forgotten about that.” Levi says, snickering a little at the memory of a seething Mikasa thrashing about in his chokehold. Probably not the best of impressions he’s ever made in his life.

“Well I can pretty much guarantee that she hasn’t.” Eren says, pulling on his seatbelt as Levi pulls out of the driveway and heads in the direction of town. They’ve been running low on groceries, and despite how much Eren complained about it, Levi had insisted this morning that they must go shopping right away.

“Well, you know, they do say that Elephants never forget.” Levi says with a smirk.

“What are you talking about? Mikasa’s not fat.” Eren points out, confused.

“Not yet anyway.” Levi comments under his breath.

“What was that?”

“Nothing.”

Eren narrows his eyes at Levi for a few seconds before shaking his head in annoyance as his boyfriend continues driving without even a glance back at him.

“We’ve gone off topic, again.” Eren complains, “My point is Levi, whatever is going on, it’s gotten out of hand now. She’s hurting the people around her and is refusing to talk about what’s causing all this. And you’re not helping things by enabling her to do it.”

“I’m not enabling her to do anything, Eren.” Levi says sharply, before taking a second and saying in a softer tone, “She just needs time, that’s all. And trust me, if she didn’t have a good reason to stay quiet, I’d never have promised to keep it to myself. Please believe me when I say that she’s fine, she’s going to be fine and things will all become clear soon. Just don’t be too angry with her right now, it’s the last thing that she needs.”

Eren considers arguing the point further but ultimately decides to let it go for now, “I just don’t like the fact she feels the need to keep a secret like this. What’s the worst that could happen?”

“Do I have to remind you that you and I currently have a secret that nobody knows about?” Levi asks mischievously, not quite ready to disclose the fact that Mikasa actually does know about them.

“That’s entirely different!” Eren argues.

Levi raises his scarred brow bone at him and Eren flushes a little in embarrassment.

“Okay, it’s relatively the same, but still…”

Levi chuckles at Eren’s silliness, causing the younger to retaliate by sticking his legs up on the dashboard, his large biker boots making visible marks on the previously immaculately clean surface. Levi bats angrily at them with one hand whilst keeping the other on the wheel, and Eren cackles loudly before putting his legs back down, grabbing Levi’s hand in his own and kissing it softly.

Levi rolls his eyes in exasperation at Eren’s childish antics, yet he doesn’t pull his hand away until completely necessary.

+++

“Levi? You okay man?” Eren asks, waving his fingers in front of the older man’s eyes, which have been glazed over for the better part of five minutes. The suddenness of the movement makes Levi jump a little and he coughs awkwardly, unused to being taken by surprise.

He clears his throat audibly, “Yeah, I’m fine brat. Why?”

“No reason, except you’ve been sitting there staring at the wall for the last few minutes. Something on your mind babe?” Eren asks, drinking a bottle of coke with a straw and putting his phone away in his pocket.

There was something, of course. But Levi didn’t quite know how to vocalise it, especially not to Eren. The thing is, it’s all because of what happened in the grocery store this afternoon as they were shopping. Eren and Levi always go shopping together, unless Eren is feeling particularly lazy and no amount of heckling from Levi is going to make him move any faster, on those days he goes alone. But normally, their shopping trips are uneventful, boring even and sometimes even a little tedious, but they’re predictable and normal. Today, however, had gone a little differently.

They tend to stick entirely to the same shopping list each week, unless Levi has spotted some new kind of bleach or detergent that he simply he has to try or Eren is swearing off certain types of food after gaining a few pounds here and there – it goes straight to his hips and his dresses don’t fit right, he says – so naturally, they end up just going to the same store as they know pretty much where everything is. The small amount of staff has also begun to recognise them too, pointing some of their regularly bought items out to them when they’ve moved shelf or remarking “no cheese today?” when Eren has had a particularly bad dietary week.

However, shopping on a Monday afternoon is relatively new to them, normally too busy with work or hanging out at Jean and Marco’s place to be able to go then. So, it had surprised both Levi and Eren to see how busy the store actually was at 2pm in the day, but they had both just shrugged it off and Levi had grabbed them a cart anyway.

As the store is a little out of the way from where any of their friends live, and both Levi and Eren know that the chances of bumping into anybody they know here are quite slim, they have very little problem with being a bit more affectionate towards eachother than they normally would be in a public setting. Eren has gotten rather used to wrapping his arm around Levi’s back as they wander the aisles or taking his hand in his own as they peruse the fresh fruits and veggies available. And Levi, surprisingly, can’t find it in himself to mind at all. In fact, he’s come to rather enjoy the feeling of Eren’s tall body pressed against his.

With this in mind, it had felt only natural to have Eren hugging him from behind as he rifled to find a loaf of bread with a far enough away date on it before it would go bad, and then feeling the innocent peck on the cheek Eren lay on him after announcing that he was going to see if there were any new deals on toilet paper and walking to a separate aisle. It felt so domestic and natural to him at the time, that he hadn’t expected to hear a rather loud exclamation of surprise coming from the other side of the aisle.

It was a kid, about 3 or 4 years old, standing at the end of his mother’s shopping cart. It hadn’t been a noise of anger or disgust, or anything at all that might suggest that kid might feel traumatised or would need therapy in his formative years. In fact, the kid was full on beaming at him, and Levi knew that the little noise of wonder had come simply from seeing something entirely new and interesting, it wasn’t rare for children his age to be curious. However, given the look that his mother was giving Levi at that moment, you’d think that he’d brutally murdered a puppy right in front of their eyes.

“Don’t look at him Julian, lets go!” The mother had said a little louder than necessary, entirely for Levi’s benefit of course, it’s not like the kid was about to climb out and continue staring, obviously. She hadn’t said anything cruel or mean to him, rude maybe, but it’s something in the way that she’d looked at Levi that made him feel entirely uncomfortable under her gaze. In her eyes he’d seen that she was clearly horrified at the sight of Eren kissing his cheek, there was disgust in that look and even a little bit of pity if he wasn’t mistaken. He hadn’t liked it, not one bit.

He didn’t like the way she’d regarded him, or the way her entire body language and attitude had clearly shown that she had likened him to something at the bottom of her shoes. It’s been a long time since anybody has looked down on him like that, like he was nothing but scum. And at least back then he had actually done something to warrant the looks of disgust thrown his way. He’d done nothing at all today except receive a hug and kiss on the cheek from his boyfriend. Hell, there had been a young heterosexual couple further down the aisle that had practically been dry humping eachother in front of the baked goods, Eren had even made a joke about it. So why hadn’t they been on the receiving end of that woman’s glare instead?

It was only then that he’d fully clicked that the looks of disgust and discomfort hadn’t been due to the nature of the relatively innocent acts themselves…it had been because they had occurred between two men. ‘But why?’ Levi had thought to himself, why should it matter? He didn’t know that woman or her son, his choice to be in a relationship with Eren didn’t affect her in any way, shape or form, so why had it offended her so much? It’s not like he’d taken a look at the little, gold cross around her neck and made a judgement on her based on her religious beliefs, nor did he look at her any differently when he noticed the lack of a ring, indicating she’d likely had her child out of wedlock…he had just noticed those things, and then got on with his day. What gave her the right to make a snap judgement on him based on the person he’d fallen in love with?

This was homophobia, experienced in a way that Levi had been entirely blindsided by. Levi had once thought of homophobia as having abuse hurled at you in the streets or being physically attacked by bigoted idiots that had more misplaced rage than sense, and that he could knock any of them on their asses if they tried anything with him or Eren when the time came, he wasn’t scared of them. He hadn’t even realised that homophobia could be experienced in a mere glance, by someone whom he couldn’t silence with a singular punch to their ignorant face. This was different…and what made it worse, was that it was all too familiar.

More than once, Levi knows he had been the one looking at people like that woman had him. He’d made that snap judgement on their romantic preferences just like she had, and he’s ashamed to say that on several occasions, many of the receivers of his glare had shifted uncomfortably under it, had sped up to get away from him or had downright shook in fear that they may be attacked at any given minute. Kenny had originally planted the seed in his mind that ‘fags’ were the scum of the Earth, predatory and sexually deviant, and in his life following the military, he had felt back then that their uneasiness around him had served them right as he remembered a similar terror in Armin’s eyes as he’d been taken against his will each and every night.

But now he wasn’t as blind. Those men had been rapists, pure and simple, regardless of the fact that at least half of them had been homosexual. What they did had been heinous and those ‘men’ were less than human in his eyes.

What that woman had done today made him angry, but in all honestly, what had made him angrier was the idea that he had once been just like her…so sure that his judgements had been correct. How many people had he upset, angered, mocked or genuinely scared in his lifetime whilst thinking he was justified in his actions? He couldn’t bear to think about it.

“Levi! Seriously, you’re scaring me, what’s the matter?” Eren asks him in a slightly louder, sharper tone this time. He must have lost himself in thought again.

“Sorry brat, it’s nothing, I’m just tired tonight is all.” Levi says, although by the look on Eren’s face, the younger man doesn’t believe him one bit.

“Are you sure? It’s not even 9pm and you’ve been acting strangely all day. Is it something I’ve done?” Eren nervously asks and Levi suddenly feels horrible for the foul mood he’s been in today, no wonder Eren would think he’s at fault.

“Honestly, it’s not you Eren. I didn’t get a lot of sleep last night; I was right next to Jean and Marco’s bedroom and Marco didn’t stop crying for hours. He was trying to be quiet, but I could still hear him.” Levi explains, and it’s not a lie, Marco was crying until the wee hours of the morning, but he had still managed to sleep through most of it. He’d grown accustomed over the years to hearing people crying all around him, but he’d always given them the courtesy of pretending he couldn’t hear, so that they could keep whatever shred of dignity they had left intact. And Marco hadn’t been alone, he’d heard Jean whispering to him in the silence of the night, and he knew for certain then that his assistance wasn’t outwardly required.

“As long as you’re okay.” Eren says unsurely before offering, “Do you want me to make you a coffee or something?”

“It’s fine, I’m just going to head to bed now and have an early night. You still have that photoshoot at Sina tomorrow, yes?” Levi asks as he gets up and heads off in the direction of his bedroom. Eren nods and follows him for a little before speaking again.

“Yeah at one-thirty. Oh but, just before you go to bed I wanted to ask, would you be alright with me spending tonight in my own room? I know we were in separate rooms last night, but I’ve just been feeling like I need to spread out in my own bed, you know?” Eren asks, looking a little embarrassed at the statement.

“Tch, stupid brat, you know you don’t have to ask permission to spend a night in your room.” Levi states as if it should be obvious, and Eren flushes pink.

“I know that! I just thought that…we’ve been spending almost every night in your bed, I thought you’d find it weird if I suddenly wasn’t there in the morning…it was dumb, I know.” Eren says with a slight slump in his form and Levi can’t help but find his nervousness endearing.”

“Yeah, you’re an idiot.” Levi remarks, “But you’re a cute idiot, so it’s fine.”

Eren beams at him then and crosses the distance to plant a chaste kiss on Levi’s lips, causing the older man to smirk at him amusedly.

“Alright, I’ll let you go to bed now. Good night Levi.” Eren calls over his shoulder as he makes his way back into the living room.

“Night brat.” Levi answers, letting himself into his bedroom and closing the door behind him.

+++

The clock on Levi’s nightstand reads 1.42am when the man is woken up by a slight bang on the other side of his bedroom wall, followed by moaning that no doubt belongs to Eren.

‘Must be another night terror’, Levi thinks to himself before rubbing at his eyes and pulling himself out of bed. It’s been a while since Eren’s had one, his last being a number of weeks ago when Marco had to go to the hospital following a suspected infection. He’d been fine, but it had done the job in reminding Eren of how close he had come to losing one of his closest friends. The panic attack must have set him off again tonight.

Levi gently pads to his bedroom door, opening and closing it behind him softly so not to spook his already frightened boyfriend. His steps are almost completely silent after years of practice, so he makes it to just outside Eren’s room without so much as a sound in a matter of seconds. He presses his ear to the door to hear Eren still making noise on the other side and he opens it just a crack to be able to peek inside before letting himself in.

What he sees however, stops him in his tracks and leaves him gaping at the sight. Eren is moaning and writhing around on his bed, but not in terror, oh no…in sheer pleasure.

The younger is shirtless, which is not unusual as most nights he ends up stripping his shirt off due to the heat in Levi’s bed anyway, and his long legs are also bare. There are no surprises there, he’s seen Eren lounging around shirtless in just a pair of shorts more times than he can count, so he’s no stranger to Eren’s body. But also, on display this time, is the curve of his plump ass as he thrusts sensually, whilst completely naked, into a pair of fluffy white pillows under his hips.

Eren’s eyes are hooded and entirely glazed over in bliss as he searches over and over again for delicious friction as he pushes himself into the little gap he’s created between his pillows. The sideways angle in which Levi is watching him makes it impossible to see any evidence of Eren’s manhood, so he can almost pretend it doesn’t exist as the younger man continues to moan loudly into his sheets, picking up speed as he moves his hips faster and thrusts harder, losing himself in the feeling and forgetting any reason he may have had to keep quiet.

His long locks of brunet hair are sticking to his face with the sheen of sweat that seems to cover the entirety of his naked body, making his golden skin practically glow in the moonlight coming through his bedroom window. He throws his head back, mouth open wide as he finds a particularly good rhythm which makes his bed rock into the wall. The wall that’s directly connected with Levi’s own.

The sight of Eren pleasuring himself in such a naughty way, fucking his pillows and moaning like a paid whore send sparks of electricity all through Levi’s body, particularly down inside his sleep pants. Whether it’s the pounding of his ears from the rush of blood flowing rapidly to his crotch or the way Eren’s lithe body undulates pornographically as he gets himself off, Levi can’t help but move one of his slender, pale hands over the fabric that covers his arousal, now at full-mast, rubbing and squeezing it hard in time with Eren’s frantic thrusts. He shocks himself with how wrong, and good, his touch feels after such a long time since he last took care of himself.

“Ahhh…yes…please…” Eren begins to call out as his orgasm begins approaching more rapidly by the second, “Please baby…hah-ahhh, right there…right fucking there, oh god!”

Levi has to muffle his own harsh breaths with his free hand as he rubs himself through the fabric of his pants, he so wants to just pull them down to his knees and wrap his hand around his cock, which right now is harder than he can ever remember it being, but that’s not a line he’s ready or willing to cross. All he knows is that watching Eren like this, makes him want to touch himself, makes him want to savour and enjoy it. He’s never felt this way about masturbating before…never felt true, unadulterated pleasure at his own hand moving up and down over his erect penis as he’s bombarded with dirty sights and sounds of the person he loves with everything he has. It’s new and thrilling…it makes him feel sexy and it’s also incredibly frightening.

“Oh fuck! Oh my god! Levi!” Eren yells out, pulling Levi from his thoughts and bringing his attention back to the present, and for a moment he thinks he’s been caught but the younger man’s eyes are clenched shut and he’s now slamming himself inside the pillow gap, his round, gorgeous ass jiggling around with every movement. Levi had never considered himself an ass man before - he’d never really considered himself an anything man before – but Eren is definitely making him rethink things. He’s suddenly struck with the memory of him helping Rogue zip up her red dress in the dim light of her dressing room, her soft thighs pressed firmly against his slacks and red, lacy underwear barely concealing her body from his gaze. The thought of Eren, right now, adorning that exact pair of underwear in this moment comes to his mind unbidden…

“I’m gonna cum…ahhh shit…I’m gonna cum Levi…” Eren moans out shakily, as if the words and ideas themselves are turning him on more than the frantic fucking he's doing, “Please Levi…cum for me baby.”

And Levi almost does, but it’s Eren that lets out one last groan of pleasure before his hips begin to still and he whimpers softly in the aftershocks of his orgasm. He thrusts gently a few more times, letting himself ride the waves of ecstasy before blinking away the haze abruptly and groaning at the mess he’s left behind. Levi quickly closes the door as quietly as he can just as Eren throws both of the ‘used’ pillows on the floor and covers himself up with the duvet.

Levi is still trying to catch his breath as he goes back to his own room, trying to walk as best as he can with the still very present erection he has. Closing the bedroom door behind him, he lets his head lightly bang against the wood of the door as he rests against it, wondering what the fuck just came over him. Here he is, almost 35 years old and still a virgin out of choice, sporting a full hard on after spying on his much younger boyfriend masturbating in the privacy of his own room.

Levi’s never let anybody get under his skin like this before, not even Hange when he first thought he was ready for sex, and now he’s even more confused than ever about his feelings, both emotional and now physical. But before he can think on it any further, he has a rather pressing matter he desperately needs to tend to.

Pulling down his thick, black sleep pants and tight boxer briefs underneath, he exhales in relief as he trails his hand down his own bare body sensually…

Chapter Text

Chapter 36

When Eren wakes the next day, he’s shocked to find that it’s already 12:15pm. The shock coming not so much from the fact he’s slept until now – he’s done that on plenty of occasions - but more because his boyfriend hasn’t attempted to force him from his insanely comfortable bed yet so that he can wash the sheets.

Which reminds him…Fuck, he’ll need to come up with an excuse to wash his own sheets and pillowcases that won’t be too glaringly obvious. Not that Eren is embarrassed of course, he’s a healthy, red-blooded male with needs, but Levi is still working things out in his own head, not to mention his apparent aversion to sex in general… and he doesn’t want to rock the boat too much on that particular issue.

Although, speaking of rocking things, he notes the newly acquired dents on the wall where his headboard had been hitting it with his antics last night. He doesn’t quite know what came over him, but he hadn’t realised he’d been going so hard, and certainly not hard enough to fucking dent his wall in several areas. It’s not like him to lose control like that when he pleasures himself, he certainly doesn’t make a habit of fucking himself into his own pillows, he’s pretty sure he hasn’t done that since he was about 15 and discovered gay porn for the first time. But whether it’s been because of the lack of time he’s had to touch himself in recent weeks or the ever-building desire he feels for Levi with every passing day, he’s not sure.

As much as he’s loved the intimate, closeness of sharing a bed with the man he’s desperately in love with, and while he’s been mentally on his best behaviour, respecting Levi’s boundaries and uncertainties the new experience has brought with it, keeping his body in check has been rather difficult to say the least. There have been several times Eren has been woken up to find himself pressed unabashedly against the smaller man, his cock hard and aching as it rubs against the often naked skin of Levi’s back. Willingly pulling himself away from a position like that should earn him some boyfriend points at the very least. Even if Levi bitches at him to rut like a dog elsewhere, the slight blush to Levi’s porcelain skin never fails to leave him groaning in an almost satisfied displeasure at having to remove himself from the situation.

However, it’s been far more difficult on the odd occasion where he’s been the one with a pressing length against his ass in the middle of the night, as his oblivious black-haired beauty sleeps soundly, entirely unaware of his own body betraying him. It’s been all Eren can do not to grind back on Levi’s morning wood, to pull down his own shorts and touch himself while Levi pokes between his thighs or bare cheeks…but Eren would never do that to Levi, would never revel in such a lewd act without Levi’s explicit consent. And while his fantasy Levi has engaged in a myriad of filthy acts with him and huskily murmured plenty of dirty words in his ear…his real-life Levi, he imagines, would be far less than impressed to find himself being taken advantage of in his sleep.

Shaking himself out of his thoughts, it occurs to Eren that the dents he’s made must have made one hell of a noise against the wall…and that particular wall happens to be connected directly to Levi’s bedroom. Shit, is that why Levi hasn’t come in to wake him up? Did he hear what Eren was doing and become so disgusted that he couldn’t bring himself to even look at Eren this morning? He runs a hand through his shaggy long hair and finds that he’s struggling to catch his breath, although that doesn’t last too long once he gives his face a light slap in order to pull himself together.

He bolts quickly out of his bed, piling up the sheets and dirty pillowcases before throwing them in a heap on the floor, leaving them behind as he leaves his bedroom and makes his way to the living room via the kitchen. If Levi is at home and had in fact heard everything last night, the last thing Eren wants is to remind him of it straight away, not before talking it out with him at least. He’s not quite sure what he proposes to say however, ‘Sorry I was masturbating so loudly last night, but I was thinking of you the entire time and it drove me wild, I’ll try and not let it happen again’…ridiculous, he’d only make Levi feel even more uncomfortable and perhaps even violated, not to mention that it’d be a lie to say he wouldn’t do it again. With the fantasy he’d drawn up of Levi beautifully spread out and willing underneath him, he’d never come so hard in his life.

To Eren’s surprise, Levi isn’t in the living room or kitchen, nor is he in the bathroom as the door is wide open and the room is empty. A look out the window tells him the car is still in the drive, although that’s not to say Levi didn’t simply go for a run instead. He resolves to check the last room in the house, which is Levi’s bedroom, but he doubts the man would be there this late in the day.

He knocks the door lightly twice, “Levi? You in there, babe?” he asks while anxiously moving his weight from one foot to the other.

There is no answer, not that Eren expected there to be anyway. He’s about to knock again, but instead decides it would be pointless. But just as he’s about to walk away, he hears a faint rustling from inside and feels like he should investigate. They are always in danger of potential ‘Titan’ attacks after all. Opening the door just a touch, he peeks inside and finds a sight he wouldn’t have expected for one moment.

Levi is fast asleep. His breathing is soft and delicate, the rhythmic rise and fall of his chest showing the man is deep in slumber, the sheets curled around him and wrapped up to cover his chest, which is bare going by the nakedness of his shoulders. In fact, the sight of Levi’s sleep clothes and underwear on the floor suggests that the man probably slept entirely nude, which makes Eren tingle at the very thought. He closes the door as gently as possible and tiptoes back to his room to collect the dirty bed clothes.

Upon arriving back in the kitchen with his arms full of his soiled sheets, he opens up the washing machine, shoves the sheets inside and turns it on to wash and dry. In just a couple hours they’ll be as good as new, all the evidence erased like pencil markings. He lets himself take a deep breath of relief as he sits down at the little table he and Levi had purchased for the kitchen. While the kitchen itself is rather small and adjoins directly with the living-room, it fits the little table with ease to create a make-shift dining area between the two rooms that can sit them both comfortably with a bowl of fresh fruit in the middle. Since moving in, Levi hadn’t asked for anything except a place to eat that wasn’t on the couch with Eren practically on his lap, and Eren has to admit it makes a nice addition to the place even if there’s less room to move around while cooking.

Eren laughs quietly to himself about how worked up he’d managed to get over the possibility that Levi was either mad or disgusted with him, when all this time said man was asleep in his bedroom, completely unaware of any of his younger boyfriend’s overreacting in the next room. Maybe he hadn’t actually heard a thing? Levi had seemed pretty beat for some reason last night, beat enough to sleep all the way through to this afternoon…maybe he was feeling sick? Then again, he looked healthy enough…prime condition even.

After a few more minutes pondering what could have caused his borderline insomniac partner to sleep for almost 15 hours straight, Eren resolves to leave him be for a little while longer at least. It’s not like they have much of anything to do today aside from the photo shoot (which can easily be rescheduled) and a run through of details on scheduling with Annie over the phone that evening, and Levi NEVER sleeps in this long, Eren guesses that whatever the reason, he must be needing the extra rest.

However, now that his panic is over and he knows Levi is happily tucked away in his bed, Eren begins to register the slight ache across his own body, the pleasurable burn of his muscles and joints due to the exertion of his late night activities, and he can’t help but smile mischievously to himself.

Despite all his worry about the possibility of being overheard while in the throes of arousal, he did have fun being in his own bed again with only his own body for company…and a couple of pillows thrown in the mix, of course. A quick few minutes every now and then with his pants down to his knees in the bathroom or hastily jerking off in the shower maybe once a week is nothing compared to having his whole body exposed for several hours, hands prepared to touch, fondle and caress those little areas of himself that have been neglected for so long due to lack of time or privacy. He’d gone a little crazy with it, lost control of his hips, gotten a little louder than he’d intended, made more of a mess than he’d expected…and he’d loved every single second of it.

But the one thing that had made the whole experience memorable and better than any of the other times he’s gotten off…was the fantasies he’d created of Levi in his head. At first, it had felt more than a little wrong when he’d let visions of Levi swarm his mind while he touched himself, but as months have gone by and Levi has become a little more openly affectionate with him, Eren has felt less and less bad about letting the older man make appearances in his naughty solo sessions. He’s become less ashamed of the taboo nature of imagining his demisexual partner in a number of sexual scenarios, in fact if he’s being honest, these days it only serves to turn him on even more…Levi acting all coy and shy at first, his gorgeous lily white skin turning the most beautiful shade of rose pink, the sweat pouring down in little droplets like rain on flower petals, and his eyes screwed shut in embarrassment until he starts really begging for it…demanding that Eren touch him, kiss him, fuck him, claim him…and it’s all Eren can do not to pop a boner right at the kitchen table at the memory.

Although, as fun as the idea of making love to Levi had been – because that’s how it had been in his head, as much as Levi begs for it, they never fuck, they only ever make love – that’s not the part that has Eren squirming in his seat. In his fantasies, Eren likes to think that Levi would let him use his mouth on him, would allow him to suck until Levi would shake and eventually would spill down his throat, which Eren would happily swallow the entirety of…or so he thinks. Eren obviously has never had the opportunity to perform this particular act on anyone or anything apart from his own fingers or the time he’d practiced on one of Historia and Ymir’s toys while they were umm…playing together.

But that had been years ago, and Eren is still too chicken shit to order any sex toys for himself…he’s tried on numerous occasions before backing out and resolving to do things the old-fashioned way…but things are different now. He has Levi now, and while the man has never outwardly shown any interest in wanting to engage in sex with Eren, and while it might never ever happen…it still could, and if it does, Eren wants to make sure that he treats Levi like a King. He’d even bottom if he had to, he doesn’t see it as a challenge to his masculinity or anything, but again he’s never had anything to aid him in his path to trying that out…how can he ever expect to be a good, considerate lover to a man who – in this scenario – would be putting the entirety of his trust into Eren by giving him such a precious gift?

Suddenly, the panic and worry he’d been feeling before is back again, and this time tenfold as he fears he is completely unprepared to make love to Levi if the opportunity were to ever present itself. He’s never taken anything bar a couple of his own fingers up his ass, and his experience in giving blowjobs is almost entirely limited to him attempting to fit a four or five inch dildo in his mouth about 3 years ago. ‘Levi sure is a lucky man’, Eren ruefully thinks to himself as he rests his chin on one of his palms and gazes absentmindedly at the fruit bowl in the middle of the table. And just like that, his good mood is pretty much out the window.

However, upon that thought, Eren finds himself eyeing a banana that lies curved over the top of an orange in the middle of the fruit bowl. It’s a singular, ripe, bright yellow one that curves in a way that makes Eren take a second to mentally review it before picking it up with gentle fingers. It’s relatively thick, Eren notes…and around the same size as the toy that he’d practiced on before…maybe all he needed right now was a bit of reassurance that he wouldn’t choke if faced with a an actual, real-life dick around the same size and belonging to Levi Ackerman.

He scoffs to himself as he catches on to what his own body is suggesting he do, what a ridiculous thought! He wasn’t going to try and deepthroat a banana in the middle of his kitchen in broad day light, certainly not, he’s got more dignity than that! Surely if Levi loves him as much as Eren does him, something as trivial as his blowjob skills wouldn’t even matter to him, and that’s if he ever let Eren anywhere near him in the first place!

This is what the rational part of his mind was telling him…however, Eren’s never really been one to think first, act later. And as expected, he finds himself ignoring any rational thought inside his head telling him this is a stupid idea and brings the banana – still with its’ skin intact, no less – towards his parting lips.

Wrapping his mouth around the bottom end of the banana feels fine, if only a little weird, and soon he begins running his soft, plump lips up and down the skin teasingly, as if he were giving little teasing kisses and licks to a lover’s penis, whilst using his other hand to hold it steady. He finds the sensation rather pleasing and familiar - almost like riding a bike - like he knows exactly what to do even if he hasn’t tried this in a long time, and it’s not long before he’s pressing the length of the banana into his waiting throat, working it slowly so he doesn’t gag around it.

Once he’s used to the pressure on his tongue and the feel of the thickness of the fruit forcing it’s way down his airway, he begins to suck hard and moves his wrist faster and faster so that the banana is being pushed down just a little further with each thrust of his hand, and once he’s comfortable enough with it in the back of his throat, he finally attempts to swallow…

“What in the actual fuck are you doing, shithead?” Levi’s voice pipes up incredulously from the arch of the doorway, and Eren makes the loudest, most unattractive choking noise before ripping the fruit from his mouth and coughing harshly until he can breathe again.

“Levi…” Eren attempts to say, voice rough and tears streaming down his eyes, “When did you get up?”

“About two minutes ago…” Levi says, wearing his previously discarded sleepwear, his eyebrow raised and giving Eren a look that tells him he’s most definitely being judged, and not in a good way, “Although, I’m glad I got up when I did…if I slept any longer, I may have found you trying to stick that Pineapple up your ass. Do you make a habit out of molesting our fruit when I’m not here?”

“I wasn’t!” Eren sputters indignantly, although he’s pretty sure they both know that’s exactly what he’d been doing, “Jean says that banana peel is good for your skin, I was just trying it out!”

“Look, I’m not interested in what Pony boy likes to deepthroat in his free time.” Levi remarks monotonously, “But don’t you dare even think about putting that back in the bowl. Stupid brat.”

Eren flushes red at Levi’s warning and strips the banana of it’s peel before munching on half of it before putting the other half down on the table…it’s not so appetising now after what he’s done with it, and it occurs to him that he probably won’t ever be able to look at bananas again without wanting to gag. Once Eren has managed to clear his still watering eyes enough to see properly again, he notes that Levi is carrying his own bedsheets in a bundle and looking at the washing machine as if it’s personally offended him somehow.

“When did you start the machine?” Levi asks, not quite looking at Eren, “How long does it have left?”

“It’s been on about 20 minutes and it’s set to dry, so probably another hour or so, why?”

“I need to wash my sheets.” Levi answers, as if that weren’t entirely obvious, “I, uh, spilled some milk on them and they need to be cleaned before they smell like shit.”

“That’s weird, I didn’t see you taking any milk to bed with you.” Eren says shrugging his shoulders, before a thought comes to mind, “Did you get up to get it during the night?”

“Uh…yeah, it was about…maybe 4am I think.” Levi states and Eren sags with relief, Levi wouldn’t have heard anything then, Eren was asleep way before 4am.

“Well, sorry about that, I would have woken you up, but I figured I should let you sleep. You’re never this tired. If you give me your sheets, I’ll put them in the pile of laundry still to be cleaned.” Eren offers, standing up with his arms outstretched.

Levi turns beet red all of a sudden, “No! No…umm, I need to do it myself…can’t be sure you won’t fuck it up, brat.”

“Are you sure?” Eren asks confused, “You’ve let me do it before, remember?”

“I know but…uhh, I just don’t want it to leave a stain…and I know a way to get milk out…I have to do it though.” Levi says, shifting guiltily and before Eren can ask any more, he’s heading back into the hallway with his sheets still balled in his arms, “Just let me know when the machine is free!” he calls back before shutting his bedroom door behind him.

Eren raises an eyebrow at his retreating form, and here he was thinking he was the only one being weird today.

Chapter Text

Chapter 37

Upon closing his bedroom door behind himself, Levi throws his sheets down in frustration at having to wait to wash them, curling his lip in disgust at the way they clutter his floorspace before sitting on the edge of his mattress. It can’t be helped really, Eren did get there first and god knows the boy would have his own mess to clean up after last night.

Last night. Levi can feel the heat rising to his cheeks at the memory. The memory of how he’d watched as Eren got himself off and then proceeded to masturbate to the thought of his young love whispering praises and words of encouragement in his ear until he came all over his chest and hand.

The voices of both Rogue and Eren had somehow blended into one as he fell deeper and deeper into his fantasy, the almost feminine lilt of Rogue’s husky voice he’d imagined at first and then unmistakeably taking on a more masculine tone as Levi brought himself closer to completion with each flick of his wrist. By the time he was falling over the edge, it was as if he could hear both sets of voices together, one in each ear…and fuck, it was hot as hell.

+++

‘Look at the mess you’re making Levi, tsk tsk.” Rogue reprimanded, and Levi could almost see her blonde curls shaking in dismay, ‘Getting yourself all dirty…what would everybody else think if they could see you like this?’

‘Nobody else will ever see you like this though, will they Levi?” Eren had drawled, “This is just for us, isn’t that right baby?

Levi felt himself nodding at the question ringing in his own head.

‘That’s right.” Rogue agreed, “You don’t give just anybody the privilege of your body…it’s never been touched by another…you’re a virgin. Pure. Innocent. Beautiful…”

‘So beautiful…” Eren echoed, “Your body is incredible, Levi, so strong and muscular…you take such good care of us. Yet you never take the time to take care of yourself, never give yourself pleasure like this just for the hell of it…but you don’t have to worry about that now.’

‘We’re here sweetie, you do so much for us, let us take care of you now.”

‘That’s it Levi, you like that don’t you? Come on baby, don’t hold back, you know we love you so much. Don’t be scared.’

Levi was moaning then, the pace of his hand speeding up rapidly whilst he shoved the other over his mouth to block any sounds. As much as the idea appealed to him, he couldn’t risk the noise reaching the ears of his real Eren in the room next door.

‘Good boy, no need to be shy…you saw how much we want you. Show us sweetie, show us how much you want it. How much you need us to make you cum.’

‘You saw, didn’t you? The way I fucked those pillows…how much I wanted it to be you I was fucking instead. You want to fuck us like that too, don’t you?’

‘We’d let you, you know that right? So come on, give us the best you’ve got! Cum for us Levi!’ Rogue had encouraged. Levi could almost feel her nails dig into his shoulder and teeth biting into his earlobe.

‘Come on baby, we’ve got you.’ Eren had coaxed, the solidness of his body so familiar to Levi that the man practically felt him right there next to him, long brown locks tickling his cheeks.

‘Levi!’ The sound of both of their sweet voices echoed in his ear, and he could prolong the inevitable no longer…

+++

The banging on his bedroom door brings him back to the present, and Levi has to curse himself for getting so caught up in his fantasies again, as a peak down to his lap shows him what he already knows…he’s hard, achingly so. His boyfriend is knocking on his door and here he is, perched on the end of his bed, soiled sheets balled up on the floor and sporting a boner like a fucking teenager.

Levi has never felt such a lack of self-restraint before, even when he was younger and full of hormones it was never like this, his body has never felt so aflame before, as if the very thought of Rogue/Eren is enough to burn him to ash in the best possible way. Whilst he’s known that he’s demisexual for a good number of years now, the actual magnitude of his potential desire if he ever found the right partner had never actually occurred to him before last night. It’s been an enlightening experience.

Not wishing to give Eren an eyeful at this particular time, Levi decides to open his door only partially, the lower half of his body successfully hidden away discreetly.

“What is it, brat?” Levi asks, hoping to any possible deity that maybe listening that he sounds casual enough so not to arouse suspicion…specifically, so Eren doesn’t become suspicious of him being aroused…

“I just wanted to know if you were wanting me to cancel my photoshoot today? I was going to anyway seeing as you were asleep, but I thought I may as well ask now that you’re up.” Eren asks, cellphone already in hand.

“Shit.” Levi curses before pinching the bridge of his nose, “It’s at one-thirty, right? I didn’t set my fucking alarm; I wasn’t expecting to sleep so late. It’s fine, we still have thirty minutes, if we get dressed now, I can get us to Sina. We may be a little late, but it’s better than not showing up at all.”

“You sure?” Eren asks gently, “You didn’t look so good last night, I’m sure Nile won’t mind postponing the shoot for a day or two.”

“It’s fine.” Levi insists, “I’m fine, plus Nile’s been generous enough, re-arranging the tour and all so we can make Annie and Armin’s wedding. I don’t want him to think we’re taking any liberties, especially not on my account.”

“I guess you’re right. It won’t matter too much if we’re a little late, I still need to get into drag when we arrive anyway, I can speed up the process to get us back on track. And it helps that I already have my outfit planned for today.” Eren says matter of fact, pocketing his cellphone before heading back to his room.

“Wow, you’re actually organised for once?” Levi mocks with his signature smirk, “Maria would be horrified to hear that you’ve finally gotten your shit together after all these years.”

Eren silently flips him the bird without turning back around.

+++

As it turns out, Eren’s idea of “speeding up the process” meant getting a head start on his make up in the passenger seat of Levi’s car. The younger man managing to blend and contour like a pro despite the bumpiness of Shiganshina roads and the amount of, as Levi would put it, ‘shitty good-for-nothing drivers on the street’.

Normally, Levi would have thrown a fit at the idea of Eren having any form of liquid or powder open and at his disposal in his car, but seeing as it was technically his fault that Eren was running late for his photoshoot, he decided to let it slide on this one occasion. Any stains or spillage would no doubt act as punishment for Levi’s own tardiness.

When they finally made it inside the building, Eren was forced to greet Hitch at her desk in a wig cap and a half-done face of make-up, an old white T-shirt reaching to his mid-thigh and busted up sneakers on his feet. If she’d gotten a bit of a fright the first time she’d met them all those months ago when Levi had taken her by surprise, she all but had a heart attack at the sight of Eren towering over her desk in his half-dressed state. She recovers quickly enough, but it still makes Levi snort in amusement.

They catch up with Nile a few minutes later once Hitch has called him to come through to reception – Levi has deduced the pair’s relationship seems to have taken a new track, one in which they are no longer sleeping together – and he shakes both theirs hands while expressing how excited everybody is to get the promotional material started. Eren has been single-handedly raising his own profile and that of Sina while the situation with the Titans came to a head, and in doing so, has introduced a brand-new market to Sina Enterprises, something Nile never fails to gleefully mention when in their presence.

Once Eren is introduced to the entire team involved in the process of the shoot, he and Levi are directed down a hall to a private dressing room with Rogue’s name on it and left to their own devices until everyone, including Rogue, is ready to get started. With no good reason to be inside Rogue’s dressing room, Levi is posted outside to survey the area and keep watch for any unwanted presences, although he supposes it’s probably just so that he has something to occupy his time. No doubt everybody in the building has been screened prior to today, however Levi knows better than that, you can never be too careful.

Rogue does pull him away from his space in front of the door on a couple of occasions, however, either to help with an element of her elaborate outfit, to hold her long wig in place as she ties it in a high ponytail or sometimes just for a quick kiss. Levi is happy enough to help in all instances, being no stranger to tying laces of massive heeled-boots, strapping Rogue into her way too-tight corset, pinning her hair in place or, in fact, kissing her senseless when she demands it. The latter action has to be cut short, unfortunately, as Rogue herself states she doesn’t want to have to re-do her cherry red lips and that they have plenty of time for that later. The suggestive tone she uses when saying the words would normally have Levi rolling his eyes in disdain, but today it’s as if they shoot straight down his spine, leaving him with goosebumps as she saunters away from him.

Naughty brat, he thinks to himself as he eyes the sway of her hips.

Between watching Rogue do her thing on set and the photographer taking the time to move a few pieces of the set here and there between shots, Levi takes the time to catch up on his messages from the last couple of days. He hasn’t had the time to properly do so since arriving at Jean and Marco’s the other evening for dinner, and surprisingly, he’s been rather popular in his absence.

He has a message from Erwin, once again, asking how Mikasa has been doing and one from the woman herself thanking him for his help and for keeping her secret to himself. He thinks to himself about how much easier the entire situation would be if Mikasa would just reach out to Erwin and be honest about what’s been going on, but his opinion is not required and the whole point of Mikasa telling him at all is because she knew his wouldn’t matter anyway, so Levi resolves to take his foster mother’s lesson of staying out of things that will only get him in trouble and ignores both messages.

Petra, his colleague and former subordinate, has sent him a text to thank him again for his generosity in gifting his Trost apartment to herself and Oluo, and offered both of their services if he ever requires anything from them at all. He doesn’t, and he texts her back to remind her that he expects nothing of them. They’d been staying at the apartment temporarily since he moved to Shiganshina, were responsible in sending any of Levi’s mail and shipping his already packed boxes to him in manageable stages when he took up residence with Eren. However, when it became clear that he no longer had any intention of returning to Trost in the near future, he happily let them know that he’d sign the deeds to the place over to them, it was the least he could considering the part he had to play in their shared past.

Surprisingly, he also has a message from Hange’s partner Moblit, asking if he’s heard anything from her as she’s been gone for a couple of days and he can’t get a hold of her. It’s not entirely odd for Hange to go missing like this, she can get so caught up in her work or one of her hobbies that she loses track of hours, days or sometimes even weeks, and then returns home to find everyone she knows has been sick with worry. What is a little disconcerting to Levi is that Moblit has taken the time to inform him about it, as the man has only in fact ever contacted Levi of his own volition on a couple of occasions over the years and as Moblit himself is no stranger to Hange’s erratic behaviour, it seems odd that he’d think to ask Levi about his wife’s whereabouts when he’s living in an entirely different part of the country.

He’s shooting Moblit back a text to say that he’s not heard from her but that he shouldn’t be too worried, she’ll come home when she’s finished with whatever hare-brained scheme she’s no doubt working on at the moment, when he feels Rogue’s eyes on him from all the way across the room. Levi raises his gaze from his phone and locks on to her sea blue contacts in a matter of milliseconds.

She’s wearing a tight, white bodysuit with a plunging neckline that shows off an expanse of smooth, caramel skin, her chest is entirely flat as always but no less tantalising to Levi than if she were to have breasts spilling out of her costume. Her legs are covered almost entirely by a pair of white stockings that are held up by garters of the same colour with little ribbons on top that make her look like a bride in her honeymoon lingerie. The very thought makes Levi’s mouth unconsciously fill up with saliva and he swallows it down with a gulp. Her 6-inch heeled boots are of the same lily white with a Lolita style – Levi could barely keep his hands from shaking as she’d dug the heel into his thigh as he’d tied the laces for her – and make her stand almost an entire foot taller than himself. The outfit as a whole makes her look like a strikingly beautiful, sexy model that could make a multitude of men and women spontaneously combust, himself included, however of all the things she’s wearing, it’s her stare that makes him take notice.

Rogue is looking at him with the intensity of a predator, poised and ready to catch their next meal between their teeth…fierce, feral and absolutely starving. Levi knows Rogue, knows that she loses herself to her alter-ego when she performs, and right now that’s what she’s doing as she poses powerfully and seductively, putting on her best performance whilst unwittingly letting the truest version of herself become exposed in front of the camera lens. Not a single soul but Levi knows that this is who she is, hiding in plain sight under the guise of Rogue, a siren…a temptress…a lioness…and all her efforts are homed in on making Levi her prey.

And Levi wants it, wants to be caught in her clutches, to be surrounded by her, to be bitten until her mark is all over him, until her scratches are littered down his back and he’s ripped to shreds. He’s never been a man with many desires in life, but he wants it more than he’s wanted anything before…and she knows it, her smirk tells him that she can see every little thing going on in his mind.

He finds himself hoping that she can.

Levi barely notices when the photoshoot comes to an end, if it hadn’t been for the surrounding applause coming from everyone in the room and Rogue taking a self-conscious little bow in response, he doubts he would have taken his eyes off her until someone attempted to snap him out of his daze. Rogue carefully steps off the set and takes the time to shake hands with Nile, the photographer, the shoot director and then proceeds to take a number of selfies numerous other members of staff. Levi waits patiently until she’s finished and then wordlessly follows when she’s ready to head back to her dressing room.

He lets himself fall into step a couple of paces behind her as she heads out of the room and down the corridor to where her dressing room is located. She looks behind herself a couple of times to lock eyes with Levi as he follows her, and he then loses sight of her for a second as she rounds the corner. Once he’s caught up, he catches a glimpse of her slipping into the room, her long blonde ponytail swishing behind her as the door closes.

Levi immediately takes his place outside her door, allowing himself a couple of moments to calm his mind that doesn’t seem to want to stop racing with thoughts of Rogue, taking a deep breath to steady himself. He’s all out of sorts, and he can’t get a hold of himself.

Fortunately, he doesn’t have to, as a few seconds later the door opens just a crack, a familiar hand with black painted fingernails reaching out to grasp his arm with a tight grip. And Levi lets himself be pulled inside, meeting a pair of blazing blue eyes as the door slams closed behind him.

Chapter Text

Chapter 38

As soon as Levi is tugged inside, he wraps both arms firmly around Rogue’s slim waist, spinning her around so she crashes against the closed door, her body pressed against it with Levi between her long, spread legs.

“Wha-?” She begins in a daze just as Levi begins attacking her lips with his own, his teeth nipping and biting at them until they’re swollen and sore. Rogue can feel the stickiness of her lip gloss smearing between them, the colour and shine prominent around Levi’s mouth as he pulls away, his eyes blown wild and black as he steps back for breath.

They stare at each other for a few heated seconds, their breaths mingling and pulses racing. Rogue also notes that Levi’s hands are shaking, and she’s about to take both of them in her own when Levi reaches up with his left hand to cup her cheek, his thumb caressing her flushed skin lovingly as his gaze softens and he’s almost smiling. Just as soon as she catches a glimpse of the corners of his mouth turning upwards, he buries his face in the crook of her neck and inhales deeply before trailing teasing kisses up and down it.

Rogue clutches tightly at Levi’s hair with one hand, her nails clawing at his scalp as she keeps him impossibly close with the other placed possessively on his back. Rogue gasps when Levi nips at the pulse point and he growls in response, a tremor running through his whole body which has her tingling when she feels it. She’s breathing harshly through her mouth at every touch and kiss, quieting only when Levi uses the hand that had been holding her face to trace her lips and she sucks his fingers into her mouth with a muted moan.

“Fuck…you’re driving me crazy.” Levi whispers against her neck, resting his head against her collarbone as she strokes his hair tenderly.

“What’s gotten into you today?” Rogue giggles breathlessly as she releases Levi’s fingers from her mouth, “Not that I’m complaining.”

“You.” He answers before clarifying, “You have. You’re so far under my fucking skin I can’t handle it.”

“I thought so.” Rogue says with a nervous grin, “You’ve been giving me ‘fuck me’ eyes all afternoon, I could barely concentrate on what I was doing. You can’t do that to a girl when she’s practically in her underwear.”

Levi takes a moment to slyly peek at Rogue’s ensemble from his position at her chest, weirdly he’d been so caught up in her scent and sounds that he’d almost forgotten how exposed she currently is physically. Her nipples are pebbled and protruding from under the thin material of her bodysuit, and so close that Levi could just strip the fabric away and wrap his lips around one if he so desired. The legs of the suit are cut high, almost to her waist, and show off the skin of her sumptuously thick thighs that are just begging to be nibbled at. But out of everything he could possibly admire about her body, it’s her crotch that somehow garners his attention.

Levi is not a naïve man or in any form of denial, he’s purely aware of the fact that despite her current appearance, she has all the same parts that Levi has hidden away. However, what never fails to amaze him, is how she manages to hide it so well. One look at Rogue’s face, the crimson cheeks and laboured breaths is enough in itself to easily give away that she’s just as aroused as Levi is in this moment – if not even more so – yet one glance down to where there should be a hard, straining length poking him in the stomach, shows instead a completely flat region without even a hint of what should be there. Obviously, Levi already knows the process of tucking in great detail, but to see its effects in a situation like this…it’s absolutely fascinating to him.

“Hey,” Rogue urges, sensing where Levi’s gaze currently is and pulling his head back up so that their eyes meet, “Come here…”

Levi allows himself to be coaxed back into a kiss, he loves kissing Rogue/Eren, has spent hours doing it on a myriad of different occasions and locations. But today feels different, like he won’t be satisfied with just kissing as usual…he’s so wound up from what happened the night prior, he can’t help but feel the need to be close to his partner, both physically and mentally. It should be a scary feeling, but it’s not, it’s not at all like he thought it would be.

Remarkably, despite his pulsating erection and the aching need to claim Rogue as his own, it’s not exactly sex that he’s craving. At least not the kind that’s about to leave the pair of them naked in the middle of the dressing room floor covered in a copious amount of bodily fluid of some kind or other. It’s contact that he wants, he wants to hold his partner and be held in return, to be as close as humanly possible so that their bodies and souls can intertwine and eventually become one. Or something equally as fucking cheesy…god, when did he become such a sap? But of course, he knows the answer to that question, and he knows why.

Levi is in love. He’s so in love that he’s ready to give himself entirely…

“Just so you know, I do have a boner right now. In case you were wondering.” Rogue states with a smirk of her own. Clearly Levi’s attempts at being discreet weren’t exactly successful.

And it’s such a ridiculous statement, that neither Rogue nor Levi can stop themselves from cracking up.

+++

When they arrive back at the house, there is no reason to restrain themselves any further and they find themselves practically falling through the front door and kissing up against any piece of furniture they can support themselves on or against. The pair of them soaking wet with the time it had taken them to rush inside from the driveway in the now pouring rain.

The drive back had been particularly challenging, especially with the impromptu thunderstorm, but also with Rogue all but begging him to pull over and pressing her lips against his over and over again until he had to put his foot down, both metaphorically and literally, and drove them the rest of the way home.

Levi is thrown into a chair in the middle of the kitchen before he can say a word and Rogue perches herself on his lap within half a second, her legs on either side of his and her high heels planted on the floor. Rogue had chosen to untuck before getting into the car but had decided not to change back into her comfortable shirt for the drive, so is still dressed in the tantalising white outfit from her shoot. It has Levi’s heart pounding as he pulls her impossibly close to his chest.

Rogue cries out sharply as she feels Levi’s strong fingers digging into the flesh of her back under the flimsy material he could no doubt rip with his bare hands. She almost wishes that he would, but of course he doesn’t. She has to stop herself from grinding down on him, she’s not quite sure what she’s allowed to do in this situation, but she’ll take as much as Levi is willing to give, no more and no less.

As if sensing her hesitance, Levi grabs at her damp ponytail, twisting the long blonde strands in his hand and pulls her lips harshly back on to his. Bravely, he places his other hand just below her hip and on to her ass. He squeezes it tentatively and she pulls away to let out a groan that has Levi shivering from the top of his head to the bottom of his shoes. Rogue lets her forehead rest against Levi’s, their eyes falling closed and simply breathing each other in.

“Levi,” Rogue begins shakily, “Sweetie, we don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. We can stop right now if that’s what you want.”

Levi raises his good eyebrow at the statement, “And who says this isn’t what I want?”

He pulls her even closer and Rogue can’t help but smile self-consciously at the action.

“Are you sure?” She asks nervously, “I just don’t want you to feel forced into doing something you’re not ready for. I meant what I promised you before, I can wait for as long as you need.”

“Since when have I ever been forced into anything I didn’t want?” Levi responds, his tone serious yet gentle as he regards the beautiful creature in his lap, “If I want this to happen, then it means that I’m ready, with no doubt in my mind. It means I’ve found somebody who’s special to me…somebody that I want to do this with.”

Rogue breaks out into a full-on grin at the words, her whole face positively glowing even in the dim light of their kitchen and she strokes one of Levi’s cheeks with her fingers.

“You really mean that?” Rogue asks, staring into Levi’s eyes and the man can’t contain it any longer.

He smiles back at Rogue.

“Of course, I do.” Levi declares, “I love you Eren. I love you so much, you have no idea. It doesn’t matter what you wear, what you did in the past or the fact you…have a penis.” Levi is interrupted by Eren’s snort of amusement at that before continuing, “And I love Rogue too…but at the end of the day, she’s just an amplified version of you…my Eren. Now, I’m not saying I’m ready to go all the way or anything, I’m not even sure I’d know how to even…you know?”

Eren nods, “I know what you mean, I’m in the same boat remember? Granted I may have more of an idea on the mechanics, like from what I’ve read and stuff…”

“You mean from porn?”

“Oh my god, shut up!”

“I’m not judging.” Levi says, his palms raised in surrender, “You’re not exactly the reading type, it’s a fair assumption.”

“I’ve warned you about assuming before.” Eren pouts and Levi kisses his cheek with a smirk on his lips.

“I know, I’m sorry.” Levi says sincerely, pausing for a moment before following up with, “It was porn though, wasn’t it?”

Eren slaps his chest hard and Levi laughs out loud at the action. Eren thinks he’s never seen Levi look more beautiful, all flushed and carefree, and for the longest moment he wishes he had a camera or his phone or something that could help him capture this moment and keep it for all eternity.

“Okay, we’re in severe danger of losing the moment entirely. So why don’t you just keep all snarky thoughts to yourself and kiss me?” Eren suggests, and Levi is all too happy to oblige.

The kiss starts off slowly at first, however as the minutes tick by, they begin to fall deeper and deeper into it. Their moans become louder, their hands become bolder and all in all, they start to become desperate for skin on skin contact. Eren initiates this by stripping Levi of his blazer and making quick work of the buttons on his waistcoat. Levi takes this as an invitation to snap the garters off Eren’s stockings and rips the straps of the bodysuit down his tanned shoulders.

Eren gasps in surprise at the suddenness of the motion, and his mouth falls open in a shocked and aroused groan as Levi leans his head down and licks at one of his nipples, the skin becoming hard and pebbled at the stimulation. Levi’s tongue is soft and feathery as he swirls it around, his hand moving up to squeeze Eren’s chest and the boy whimpers in pleasure.

Levi’s eyelids flutter closed as he begins to suck, harder and harder, before moving on to the second and giving it similar treatment. Eren is biting on his own lower lip so much that it starts to bleed ever so slightly as he rocks his hips into Levi’s, no longer being tucked means their erections can press together beneath thin layers of clothing to give just enough friction to send sparks of electricity straight down to his groin. Levi feels it too, and he moans beautifully, a fraction of a second before Eren bangs his leg against the kitchen table.

“Mother of fuck!” Eren yelps, rubbing at his now sore knee.

“As nice of a woman as Carla is,” Levi begins with the hint of a grin forming, “I’d rather not be thinking of her right now.”

“You’re telling me…” Eren sasses, and Levi replies with a ‘Clumsy Brat’ before picking Eren’s leg up by the underside of his knee, planting a kiss on the red spot now forming across the honey colour skin.

They fall back into each other within seconds, kissing and grinding their hips together until they find a rhythm that works for them both. There’s a sheen of sweat across Eren’s face from the exertion and the added heat from his wig, and it drops on to Levi’s face is his efforts to keep his boyfriend as close as humanly possible. Normally such an act would have Levi recoiling in disgust, but he can’t bring himself to care, instead he just pushes back the damp strands of his own hair out of his face and continues thrusting his lower body up to meet Eren’s.

“Fuck…” Levi hisses, pulling Eren down harder against him so the younger man can very clearly feel how much he’s enjoying himself, “Keeping going…shit, Eren…”

“God Levi…you feel so good…oh fuck!” Eren cries out, and if there was any doubt still present in his mind telling him Levi didn’t want this…it was now COMPLETELY gone. Levi feels exquisite underneath him and going by the obscene growls that are reverberating from his chest, the older of the two is definitely feeling equally as good right now.

Eren is so hard that it’s beginning to hurt, the outline of his cock is clearly showing through his body suit and his whole body is coiled tightly in arousal, he’s desperate and he wants to cum so badly that the thought of doing so right here on top of Levi is making him leak through the fabric. Levi is just as pent up and horny as Eren is, he can’t remember a time when he’d ever felt this…good. Eren’s ass expertly grinding down onto his erect cock is delicious and he feels himself reaching the end of his restraint.

Levi is about to vocalise how close he’s getting to orgasm when the chair gives out beneath them, their combined weight causing the back legs to strain and snap, and they fall to the floor in a heap with Levi landing heavily on the broken wood he was previously sitting on. He winces at the sharp pain in his back but soon forgets about it as Eren continues his ministrations, if anything his undulating has become wilder and more frantic now that they’re on the floor. Levi is soon taking control of the situation by lifting Eren by his waist, slamming him down on his clothed dick and grabbing his ass so that the younger is rubbing his cock directly on Levi’s exactly where he needs it. Eren can’t help but feel like a toy for Levi to get himself off with…and shit, that image in his mind is erotic as fuck.

“Is it good for you, baby?” Eren asks between rolls of his hips, his voice croaky and filled with desire, “Am I making you feel good?”

Levi nods, swallowing hard as Eren’s eyes roll back in his head, the vision almost too pornographic for Levi to handle, “So good…you’re so fucking good…”

Eren whimpers as Levi brings his hands up to cup over his chest and begins using his fingers to pinch at his nipples. The blonde wig that had once been pristine and secured on to his head is now hanging half off, so he rips it off himself, pulling away the tight cap from his head and tearing out any hair pins in the process, not stopping his actions for even a second. His long, dark hair comes tumbling down to just above his shoulders and Levi grips it in one hand, pulling Eren down for a kiss that’s just completely tongue.

Levi feels rather than sees his shirt being torn from his body, the buttons flying in multiple directions and the press of Eren’s hot skin against his own as the boy swipes his tongue down from Levi’s lips to lick at his sweaty chest. It only lasts for a second, the angle too harsh on Eren’s back and neck to allow him to continue for too long, but it has Levi’s blood thrumming in his ears…and he needs to cum, NOW.

“Faster Eren, come on…I know you can do better than that.” Levi instructs, his voice taking on a commanding tone that makes Eren moan as he stretches to his full height before pressing down harder on Levi’s dick, swollen and desperate for relief.

“M’so close…I’m so close Levi…I c-can’t…I can’t h-hold off for much longer.” Eren practically sobs as he continues to grind against his lover, the friction far too much and not enough at the same time.

“Then cum, beautiful boy…I know you can do it.” Levi urges shakily, his voice filled with arousal and Eren’s movements become so hard and fast that it makes his jaw drop in barely contained pleasure, he hasn’t a clue what he’s saying anymore, “Fuck me Eren…fuck me like you fucked your pillows last night…cum on me, do it!”

The mixture of pure shock and sheer ecstasy in Eren’s eyes is nothing short of stunning, and Levi doesn’t think he could ever witness anything more beautiful…that is, until Eren’s whole body is shivering on top of him as his orgasm takes over and the front of his clean, white bodysuit is dampening rapidly at the crotch, the tiniest droplets of cum leaking out on to Eren’s thigh. The sight of that alone is enough to throw Levi past the point of no return, and he groans loudly in relief as he begins coming in his pants, so hard that it blinds him for a few seconds until he’s drained and completely exhausted.

+++

They are still lying in a heap on the floor around 10 minutes later, Levi on his back with Eren curled up against him, the younger man’s head on his chest as his fingertips stroke up and down his exposed abs. Levi himself is lightly massaging the sweaty skin of Eren’s spine, his breathing slowly going back to normal as he continues to come down from his high. Their destroyed chair surrounds them in a mess of splintering wood, a rather large section is currently pressing into Levi’s shoulder uncomfortably, but he can’t bring himself to care.

All he cares about right now, is the man currently laying contently in his arms.

“I can’t believe we actually just dry-humped in our kitchen of all places!” Eren states scandalously, grinning up at Levi, “If anybody ever found out we’d never have dinner guests again.”

“Tch, it’s not like we have guests over all that much anyway.” Levi remarks, “Thinking about it, you should be more worried about what Jean and Marco do in their kitchen…with the way Jean can’t keep his hands to himself at the best of times, I have no doubt they’ve done more than just ‘dry-humping’ in there.”

“Eww! Levi, that’s gross!” Eren complains, wrinking his nose in disgust, “That’s like telling me my parents still have sex, it’s weird.”

“Well, I mean, your parents probably DO still have sex…”

“Nope! Nuh-uh…we’re not having this conversation, as far as I’m concerned, my parents had sex one time to have me and that’s it.”

“Seriously brat? You’re really going to…”

“No! No more on the topic!” Eren insists, finger pointing at Levi in warning, “My parents are old, tired and celibate, and that’s where I’m drawing the line. Whether it’s true or not, that’s the reality I’ll be sticking with, thank you very much.”

Levi snorts in amusement at Eren’s silliness and kisses him on the forehead, “Whatever you say, shit for brains.”

They snuggle together happily for another minute or so before Eren pipes up once again.

“How are you feeling?” He asks, “You know, after umm… everything?”

“I’m okay. Better than okay really, I…I never thought I would enjoy something like that so much. I don’t know if it’s what we were doing exactly or the fact that I was doing it with you but, it felt pretty fucking incredible.” Levi answers honestly, before asking, “What about you?”

“I’m good.” Eren nods, “Actually, I’m feeling pretty amazing if I’m being honest. Truly amazing. Everything just felt…”

“Perfect?” Levi offers as Eren trails off, and Eren’s smile tells him he’s hit the nail directly on the head.

“It’s funny,” Eren says, “I’d always figured my first time at, well anything, would have been in a bed. At least that’s how I pictured it. I never expected to be sprawled out on the floor with the man I love, on top of a broken chair. That much is for sure.”

“Next time.” Levi promises sincerely, “I will make sure that next time is in a bed, with clean sheets and enough pillows to make you feel like you’re on a cloud. You deserve so much better than a cold, hard floor.”

“Hmm is that so?” Eren questions in a sultry tone, “And will that be in your bed or mine?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” Levi teases, and he gives Eren a long, lingering kiss on the lips which the boy responds to eagerly.

Levi is just about to suggest that round two happens a little earlier than Eren had been expecting, when a knock on their door makes both of their heads snap in the same direction. They’re not expecting any visitors today as far as they know.

“Did you tell Annie to come here today?” Levi asks, “I thought that we were having a telephone meeting?”

“We are, as far as I know. She said she was too busy meeting with her wedding planner to come over.” Eren clarifies, and shrugs his shoulders before beginning to stand, “Maybe it’s a salesman or something, whoever it is, just go see what they want.”

“And why do I have to be the one to do that?” Levi asks in annoyance as his younger boyfriend picks his discarded wig and cap off the floor, kicking off the high heels he’d been wearing the entire time and holding them in his free hand.

“Because I happen to look like a freshly fucked out mess.” Eren states matter of fact, “You just look sexy.”

“Tch, fine, go and get changed in case it’s Connie with Kaya or something. I don’t want anyone else to see you walking around looking like that.” Levi orders with a possessive tone, and it makes Eren’s cock stir with interest.

However, now is not the time for such thoughts, so instead he blows Levi a kiss and winks before sauntering off to his bedroom, making sure Levi gets a good look at his ass before he leaves the room entirely.

“Oh, and by the way,” Eren calls back, “We WILL be talking about what you said about me and my pillows…don’t think I’ve forgotten about that!”

Levi finds himself grinning secretly as he tears off the remains of his ruined shirt, throwing it in the trash before retrieving his blazer and waistcoat which he shoves in the laundry basket. He’s shirtless in only his slacks and shoes, but who the fuck cares? He’s in his own home. He just hopes that the overall dampness of his pants is enough to dissuade any suspicion on the fact he still has a sticky, wet spot on his crotch where he came in them like a hormonal teen. At least they’re black, he thinks.

There is another knock on the door before Levi can get to it, and he’s about to tell whoever it is off for being an impatient fuck, until he swings it open and sees who’s on the other side.

The rain is still battering down in sheets, and the wind is causing it to fall almost horizontally at this point, so it’s no surprise that the person is absolutely drenched from head to toe, their clothes dark with wetness and their hair sticking down to their face and neck. There are little drops of rain dripping down the lenses of their glasses and their hand is shaking on the large suitcases of luggage they have with them. Despite their bedraggled appearance, they still muster up the strength to give Levi a weak smile, and the small action has Levi’s eyes widening in surprise.

“Hange?”

Chapter Text

Chapter 39

“Hange?” Levi exclaims in surprise, slightly slack-jawed at the sight of his friend standing in his doorway dripping wet with what looks to be her entire life packed into three suitcases secured haphazardly together with cable ties.

“Hey Shortie.” Hange greets him with a weak smile, “Is it alright if I come in? I promise not to trail water on the floor.”

Levi finds himself gaping dumbly for a couple of seconds before snapping himself out of his stupor, stepping outside to grab the handle of the suitcases from Hange’s hand and ushering her inside quickly, remembering to remind her even in his confusion to take her wet shoes off at the door.

Despite her earlier promise, Hange still does manage to trail water on to the floor as it drips down her body into a puddle at her feet, her dark blue jeans clinging to her lower half and black woollen turtleneck acting like a second skin. It doesn’t bother Levi like it normally would, seeing as there are still pieces of broken wood all over the kitchen floor, which Hange raises a curious brow at in question. He gives her some half-hearted excuse about DIY attempts before changing the topic abruptly.

“Never mind that. What are you doing here? Not that you’re not welcome, it’s just you didn’t call and Moblit’s been going out of his mind.” Levi explains, leaving Hange’s bright orange cases to one side and running a hand through his now wet hair.

“You talked to Moblit?” Hange asks, her voice low and eyes wide, the raindrops in the giant lenses of her glasses no longer obstructing them. Levi notes, upon closer inspection, the rather bright red of her waterlines and he knows without a doubt that she’s been crying.

“No, he sent me a text.” Levi clarifies, “He said he hadn’t seen you for a couple of days. I didn’t think much of it but seeing as you’ve taken all of your stuff with you and flown to Shiganshina, I can see now why he was worried.”

“I didn’t fly, I took trains.” Hange remarks, not quite looking Levi in the eye. That explains why she took so long to get from her home in Trost to here, including transfers the journey would have taken around two or three days. It still doesn’t explain one rather important factor in this situation, however.

“Hange, that’s not the point.” Levi says sternly, “I don’t need to know how you got here, I want to know why you came in the first place and didn’t think to tell your husband?”

The bespectacled woman at least has the good grace to look uncomfortable and wrings her hands together before answering.

“I can explain…sort of, it’s complicated.” Hange insists, but before Levi can get any more out of her, Eren is back in the room. He’s clearly just out of the shower and drying his hair with a towel, wearing a black T-shirt and shorts. All traces of their previous antics washed away, leaving only the mess on the floor as evidence of their escapades…and of course Levi’s pants, he briefly hopes Hange hasn’t noticed.

The surprise at finding Hange of all people in their kitchen is obvious on Eren’s face, but he hides it well enough with a kind smile and just a hint of concern flashing in his eyes. He steps easily over the wreck that is their kitchen table chair and moves straight to Hange’s side, placing a gentle hand on her shoulder.

“Hey Hange, I wasn’t expecting to see you here. How are you?” Eren asks, pulling Hange into a friendly hug which she returns gratefully. Eren doesn’t mention it when Hange holds on for just a little too long or when she buries her face into his shoulder, he certainly doesn’t say anything when he hears her breath hitching ever so slightly. Levi doesn’t either, simply making a mental note of it while sharing a meaningful look with Eren over Hange’s shoulder.

When Hange does finally pull away, she gives them both a nervous little laugh and pinches one of Eren’s cheeks, not unlike the way Carla does when she sees them both.

“Sorry Eren, I’m good, all the better for seeing you and Mr Grumpy.” Hange jokes, tilting her head to indicate Levi. The amusement in her tone is present but not all that convincing, so Levi decides that enough is enough. He orders Hange to go sit on the couch in the living room and suggests Eren go with her.

The younger man does so without argument, and Levi makes the three of them coffee.

+++

“So, are you going to tell us what’s going on?” Levi asks, sitting on the armchair directly across from the couch Eren and Hange are both sitting on.

Eren has a comforting hand on Hange’s spine and is making small rubbing motions. Levi has found in the time that he’s known Eren, that they are both rather alike when it comes to acting in difficult situations. They both prefer to use physical language instead of verbal in most cases, showing comfort in their actions instead of words. Levi feels most comfortable adapting a person’s surroundings, such as making them a cup of tea or re-arranging cushions or cleaning the space around them. Eren, however, is better with using bodily gestures, such as resting a hand on the person’s shoulder or back, offering a re-assuring hug or a pat on the knee.

It occurs to Levi then that this speaks true in their romantic relationship with each other also. Eren likes to remind Levi of their attachment by giving him kisses at regular intervals spread throughout the day, gliding his hands across numerous areas of his body as he passes by with a shy smile, wrapping a hand around his shoulders when they watch movies together or when he rests his head on Levi’s legs as he reads a book. Levi, on the other hand, is more subtle but no less invested than Eren when it comes to their relationship. Small actions like making space in his wardrobe so Eren can leave clothes in there without having to go back to his own room in the mornings, making his coffee just the way he likes it before their ridiculously early meetings with Nile or Mr Zackly, tuning the radio to Eren’s favourite station despite hating most of the songs and moving a couple of Eren’s pillows on to his own bed to show there is always an invitation there if he wants it.

“I-I’m…” Hange begins shakily, bringing Levi back to the current moment, “I’m moving to Shiganshina…as of today.”

“Okay…” Levi starts, unsure of how to take this revelation, “And what’s brought this decision on?”

“What about Moblit?” Eren asks as a follow up question.

“I’ve…had some time to think this through. A decent amount of time, in fact. And I’ve made up my mind it’s what I want to do.” Hange states, timidly at first although her confidence builds up more as she continues, “As for Moblit…I’ve decided that I need to leave him behind. We haven’t talked about it, but it’s the decision I’ve made, and I believe it to be the right one. I’m hoping by now, he’ll have found my note.”

“What the fuck, Hange?!” Levi explodes, “You’re telling me that you just decided one day that you wanted to move out here, considering it for what? A couple weeks? Months? Before deciding to pack your whole life up and leave behind everything you know? And to top it all off, you’ve left your home, your husband and your pets…and you thought you could do all that and only leave a FUCKING NOTE? I don’t buy it, cut the bullshit Four Eyes and tell me the truth.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking abou…”

“Like Hell, you don’t!” Levi seethes, “I may not be as smart as you, but I’m not an idiot either. Tell me the fucking truth, did he…fuck…did he hit you or something?!”

“No Levi! It’s nothing like that!” Hange insists, her actions becoming frantic and her voice unsteady once again.

“Because I swear, if he laid a hand on you, I’ll fucking kill him!” Levi threatens, but Hange is just shaking her head in denial and Eren massages her tense shoulders in a soothing gesture as her breathing becomes a little laboured.

“I promise, he didn’t do anything to me. Please…please trust me on that.” Hange requests, and a little while after he’s calmed down Levi nods his assent, but she continues, “But…I am going to need an NQA on this one.”

“Oh, you’ve got to be shitting me!” Levi yells, resisting the urge to get up and punch the nearest wall, but Hange doesn’t even flinch, clearly expecting this sort of reaction from her ex-partner and best friend. This time, it’s Eren who speaks up.

“W-what’s an NQA?” Eren asks before flushing a little in embarrassment as both pair of eyes land on him, “If you don’t mind me asking, that is.”

“It’s a No Questions Asked.” Levi states plainly, and Hange decides to elaborate upon seeing noticing Eren’s blank expression.

“Back when we were younger, Levi, Erwin and I decided to make a pact to ensure our friendship would last throughout the ages, no matter what happens in our lives. In order to fulfil this pact, we came up with a rule that despite how many years have passed or what we do with our futures, each of us are allowed to request a No Questions Asked or “NQA” if something happens that we don’t wish to talk about or explain. I don’t wish to go into why I’ve left Moblit, my reasons are my own, so I’m asking for a No Questions Asked so we don’t have to discuss it any further.” Hange explains, as if rattling off a well-rehearsed speech and looking pointedly over at Levi, who doesn’t look all that thrilled by the prospect.

“I see…” Eren says understandingly, “That way, if something happens that’s upsetting, or you’ve done something you’re not overly proud of, you can request that Levi and Erwin leave it alone. Thereby, saving your friendship from possible outside problems?”

“Precisely!” Hange beams at him, and Levi rolls his eyes.

“Yeah sure, it’s all good in theory.” Levi pipes, his arms folded and frown on his face, “But things never stay covered up. It all comes out in the end anyway; we’re just delaying the inevitable.”

“Well then consider it a pause button until I’m ready to talk about it, which I will do eventually. I shouldn’t have to remind you that I’ve already given you two NQAs and Erwin’s also had one from me, I’ll be requesting one from him too when I hear from him again.” Hange assures, “I don’t like asking this of you Levi, nor you Eren, but I promise I wouldn’t be asking if I didn’t know for absolutely sure that I’m doing the right thing.”

Eren says nothing, not feeling it’s his place to say anything in this situation, simply looking over at Levi to gauge his lover’s reaction. Levi simply stares, his face not giving away any of his well-hidden emotions, however it doesn’t last for too long and he ends up agreeing with an audible sigh.

“That brings me to the other thing…” Hange starts, “I haven’t exactly been forthcoming with Moblit on whereabouts I was going after I left home. He has no clue that I came here to Shiganshina, and in all honesty, I would like to keep it that way for as long as possible. If he found out I was here, he’d no doubt be on the next plane to come and convince me to go back, I…I can’t have that right now. You understand?”

Neither of the men say a word although Eren does nod in response to Hange’s last question, not that he’d be able to tell Moblit anything without a phone number or any form of social media contact anyway. Levi sighs even louder this time at Hange’s request, but instead of protesting any further, he just pinches the bridge of his nose stressfully before bringing his hand back down to his lap.

“Alright, fine.” Levi agrees, “I’ll give you your No Questions Asked, but you have to promise me to you’ll tell me what the hell is going on at some point. I won’t say when or how long, that’s up to you, but I need to know that you’ll at least tell me one day.”

“That I can promise.” Hange insists and Levi nods his head one last time in acknowledgement, “Now, I know that I have no right to ask after just turning up unannounced and making so many demands of you both. But I was wondering if it would be okay if I stayed here for a few days? Just until I get back on my feet and find my own place.”

Levi says nothing to this request, and it takes a second for Eren to realise that Levi is looking to him for an answer to this. It makes sense, this house is technically Eren’s, but surely Levi would realise it’s just as much his home now too?

“Of course, Hange.” Eren says reassuringly, “Stay as long as you want, there’s no rush. And Levi and I will do everything we can to help you get settled.

“What about your job?” Levi asks, “Did you at least think to give notice on that?”

“I didn’t have to.” Hange answers, “I’ve been working mainly from home for a while now, I don’t have a lot of physical experiments to do these days, it’s mostly just paperwork. I did mention I’d be relocating, so they fully expect that I’ll just set up in a new lab somewhere if anything urgent comes up, although that’s unlikely.”

“And what about money? What if Moblit decides to clear all your accounts in the hopes you’ll have to go back?”

“We only have a joint account for emergencies, and I already withdrew a small sum a couple of weeks ago, small enough that he hadn’t even noticed. My salary gets paid into my personal account, which he doesn’t have access to and there’s enough in there for me to comfortably get by.” Hange explains, “Trust me Levi, you may think I’m being irrational, but I’ve had time to prepare. This wasn’t an overnight decision.”

It dawns on Levi then, that for someone who is normally so disorganised and who’s just turned up out of the blue with no form of prior warning, she does seem to have a handle on what she’s doing. He’s been so caught up in his own life that he’s not had the time to even ask Hange how things are in her world…maybe things haven’t been so great after all?

Hange and Moblit have always been a couple that make so much sense to him, they fit together so perfectly that Levi has never had any reason to be concerned. Moblit had been Hange’s lab assistant back when they themselves had been dating, while she was still in the military and only working there voluntarily as a hobby, and even then, Levi couldn’t help but feel they’d be a far better match, so it wasn’t all that surprising when they got together. Levi supposes this is why he’s so in denial about it all, he can’t seem to make himself believe it. But in the end, Hange is one of his best friends in the world, and if this is what she wants, he’ll give her all the support she needs.

“I trust you with my life, Hange.” Levi declares, “So I’ll trust you on this. If this is what you really want, then stay here, Eren and I will do whatever we can to help. Just…just don’t think you can’t talk to me about shit. I know I’m a sour bastard at times but I’m not going to judge you or turn you away, you know that.”

“I know, and that’s why I love you Shortstack.” Hange says, her eyes filled with an emotion that Levi can’t quite place, and she takes one of Eren’s hands in her own, “Thank you too, Eren. You don’t know what all this means to me.”

“That’s alright.” Eren says with a bright, re-assuring smile, “You must be beat and you’re still soaking wet. Why don’t I get you set up in my room and you can take a shower? After that we can have dinner or watch a movie or something? It’s only a little after 5.”

“Sounds good, but I can’t take your bedroom!” Hange insists, “I’ll just sleep out here, I have a blanket packed somewhere in one of my suitcases.”

“Nonsense.” Eren states, “You can have my room as long as you need it, I’ll just bunk with Levi. Most of my stuff is already in there anyw…”

Eren stops himself mid-sentence, his eyes are wide, and he gulps audibly after realising his mistake. Levi notices the slip up too, but more importantly, so does Hange. Her eyes fly up to Eren’s face and she takes a moment to look at them both in turn, her eyes darting and narrowing before she’s gasping in shock.

“Are you?...ARE YOU?!” Hange all but screeches, raising her pointer finger and gesturing between the two of them wildly. Eren, despite being the one to drop them in it, seems to have lost all memory of the English language and is making weird sounds and half-sentences in his awful attempts to explain himself. Levi just rolls his eyes, gets up off the couch and grabs Hange’s suitcases, rolling them away in the direction of Eren’s bedroom.

“Not now, Four Eyes.” Levi says as he scurries out of the room with a blush forming on his face, leaving Eren behind to deal with Hange’s excitement at the new information.

He hears her loud squealing and clapping before he manages to escape into the hallway.

+++

“I’m sorry I accidentally told Hange about us.” Eren says sheepishly as he curls into Levi’s side, his head on Levi’s bare shoulder as they lie in their usual position in Levi’s bed.

It’s just after midnight, Levi and Eren had managed to get through their business call with Annie without incident, and Hange had then decided to join them for a marathon of Sex and the City, the latter having a rather odd fascination with the ongoings in the show despite being Asexual herself. Hange, of course, had teased them mercilessly for their close proximity on the couch and the fact Levi didn’t protest when Eren had pulled him close to lay across his chest. It was all in good fun, of course, and Levi just told her to keep her four eyes on the TV screen instead of on them. There had been something muttered about them being more interesting to watch, but she said no more on the matter.

“It’s fine, brat. She would have found out one way or another, better it came out now instead of her walking in on us in some compromising position.” Levi says, and Eren chuckles, the sound reverberating all up Levi’s side.

“Oh really?” Eren asks, “And what makes you think I’ll be that easy?”

Levi snorts, “Tch, are you forgetting that I wasn’t the one to push you on to a chair and climb on top of you?”

“Well, I didn’t exactly hear you complaining about it!” Eren hits back before adding, “We’re gonna need to buy a new chair.”

The statement makes them both laugh like dorks. Eren buries his head in the crook of Levi’s neck and the older man uses the arm already wrapped around Eren to pull him even closer than before. The stay like that for a little while, closing their eyes and breathing in each other’s scent, the motion lulling Levi almost to sleep. That is, until Eren pulls away and props his head up on his wrist, looking down at Levi with a mischievous smirk.

“So, are you going to tell me more about what you said earlier?” Eren challenges.

Levi knows exactly what Eren’s referring to, but decides to act clueless anyway, he’d said what he did in the heat of the moment and hadn’t been thinking.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Oh Levi, sweetheart, I think you know exactly what I’m talking about.” Eren teases, “And I also think you’re overthinking right about now…you said you wanted me to “fuck you like I fucked my pillows last night.” How did you know that’s what I did?”

Levi’s porcelain skin is turning pink rapidly at Eren’s words and he doesn’t know how to answer the question without sounding like a complete pervert. Luckily, he doesn’t have to, and Eren’s talking to him again.

“You don’t have to be embarrassed Levi. And if you think I’m going to be mad, you’re wrong. I just want to know how you knew…the idea of you knowing I did that is kinda hot, to be honest.” Eren says, and one look at the younger man confirms he’s telling the truth about that. Levi resolves to choose his words carefully.

“Your headboard was knocking against my wall, that’s what originally woke me.” Levi begins, “I didn’t know what it was at first, but then I heard you. You were moaning and it sounded a little like you were crying, I thought you were having another night terror. So, I got up and tried to be as quiet as possible, I didn’t want to scare you, but then I opened your door and saw what you were really doing…”

“What was I doing?” Eren encourages, his voice sounding a little heavy and his breath hitching at times at Levi’s recounting of last night.

“You were…naked on your bed. You were all sweaty and your hair was sticking all over your face. You were thrusting into your pillows…getting yourself off and moaning my name.”

“I said your name?” Eren asks surprised and Levi nods.

“Yeah, I thought you’d seen me at first, but then…you were saying all kinds of dirty things, about how you were feeling and what you wanted me to do…” Levi says, his own breath becoming laboured and voice shaking at the naughtiness of explaining something so intimate to his lover.

“And what was that?”

“You said you wanted me to come for you…and then, I watched as you came into your pillows.”

“What did you do then?” Eren asks, his voice filled with arousal.

“I…I went back to my room. I took off my clothes and touched myself until I came all over my hand and chest. It was so intense, it put me to sleep straight after.”

“God Levi…are you saying you were covered in cum this morning when I went in to check on you?” Eren asks, his eyes wide and dark.

“I-I didn’t know you did that.” Levi says, “But yeah, I must have been.”

“Fuck…” Eren breathes, pressing his lips against Levi’s before pulling away quickly, “Would you…would you want to do that again?”

“Do what again?” Levi asks in confusion.

“Watch me getting myself off.” Eren clarifies, “And maybe…let me watch you too?”

The idea sends a wave of excitement straight down into Levi’s shorts and his shoulders tense, Eren must feel it as he quickly adds,

“Obviously not right now, we’d wait until Hange’s not here and we can discuss it properly beforehand. Set some ground rules, you know? I want you to be as comfortable with me as possible.”

“I appreciate that, brat.” Levi says honestly, “I like the sound of it, clearly…I’m just a little nervous at the idea of you watching me, which I know is hypocritical. But I trust you, and I’d be open to trying it with you.

Eren smiles at him then, “I’m glad to hear it. I love you Levi, and I want to try everything with you. But more than anything, I want you to feel good about trying things with me. I’ll always wait until you’re ready.”

Levi feels such a strong wave of adoration for the boy then that he pulls Eren back down into his arms with zero hesitation, kissing his forehead and tucking him close to his chest, his heart beating wildly at the feeling of Eren’s body so close to his own.

“I love you too, shitty brat. Thank you.” Levi whispers into Eren’s hair, and they soon fall asleep just like that.

Chapter Text

Chapter 40

When Levi wakes the next morning, it’s to the feeling of lips pressed against his stomach, travelling lazily up to his chest and then back down again. This continues for a good few minutes. It feels good, and Levi isn’t quite ready to open his eyes yet until Eren speaks up.

“I know you’re awake, baby.” He coos, before dragging his lips up to Levi’s neck and leaving featherlight kisses there too.

“Tch, and here I was thinking I could get you to do that for a little while longer. Felt nice.” Levi grumbles, voice still a little groggy with sleep.

Eren chuckles at that, “Well, you know, you don’t have to pretend to be asleep to get me to kiss you Levi. I’ll happily do it wherever and whenever you want. All day long if you really want me to, just say the word.”

“Hmph, as appealing as that sounds, we should probably get up now anyway.” Levi says, already pulling himself into a sitting position on the bed, “It’s nearly 11am, you’re becoming a bad influence on me Jaeger.”

“It’s probably a good thing, yanno.” Eren remarks with a long stretch of his arms and a yawn, “You have less shadows under your eyes these days.”

“Cheeky brat, just for that you can forget me making you breakfast this morning.” Levi says with a hint of underlying amusement, “Now get up, I have to make the bed.”

Eren does so with a roll of his eyes and grabs the two ends of the sheets on his side of the bed. It takes maybe three attempts on his part to do it ‘correctly’ as per Levi’s instructions before the older man tells him to move so he can do it himself. Eren doesn’t complain about it and leaves the room without a word, allowing Levi to take charge of the maintenance of his own bedroom.

Upon entering the living room, Hange is already up and is sitting cross-legged on their two-seater couch, random papers and numerous binders strewn across it in a weird sort of semi-circle around her. She doesn’t look up as Eren walks in, seemingly not seeing him at all in her concentration of whatever she’s reading in her hand as she holds a mug in the other. Eren doesn’t recognise it, so muses it must be one of her own that she’s brought with her.

When she doesn’t say anything after another few awkward seconds, Eren decides to make his presence known.

“Morning Hange, how are you today?”

Hange tears her eyes away from her papers at the sound of Eren’s voice and gives him a wide smile.

“Sorry Eren! I didn’t hear you come in. And I’m good, just catching up on a bit of work this morning. I boiled the kettle not too long ago, so the water should still be hot if you need it.” She says, “I helped myself to some of your coffee, I hope you don’t mind.”

“Not at all!” Eren re-assures her with a smile of his own, “Like I said before, feel free to make yourself at home.”

Eren flops down on the singular couch facing Hange and turns on the TV as the woman goes back to reading her booklet. Levi comes into the living room not a minute later, now fully dressed, and gives Hange a look she’s completely oblivious to before heading over to the kitchen to make himself tea.

“I do hope you’re planning to clean up your shit after you’re done with it, Four Eyes.” Levi comments, making Eren blanch slightly, the woman has clearly been through enough without Levi adding to her stress by bitching at her first thing in the morning.

Hange, however, simply gives him an amused smirk and says, “Don’t worry, I haven’t forgotten, no need to get your panties in a twist.”

Levi gives her a murderous look then, and suddenly it dawns on Eren. He’s heard Hange use this particular phrase before, back in the club when she’d visited Levi for the first time, although at that point he’d completely written it off as normal bantering between the pair. But it occurs now to Eren that Hange of course knows about Levi’s private clothing habit, and the words have an underlying meaning. A sort of private joke between the two, one that Eren himself is now privy to as well, he’s not sure how he should be feeling about being involved in something like that.

In something that was once theirs and theirs alone.

Hange clearly picks up on Eren’s discomfort and gives him a secret smile to show she’s worked out he also knows now too, and while Levi doesn’t say anymore on the matter, he quickly changes the subject by asking if Eren wants coffee while he’s up anyway. He declines, and Levi continues to make his own tea with a soft shrug of his shoulders.

He’s only given his cup a couple of stirs and removed the bag from it when he feels his phone vibrate in his pocket. He quickly disposes of the used teabag in the trash and pulls out his cell phone to read the text that’s just come through before he freezes in the middle of the kitchen upon doing so.

“Shit!” Levi hisses under his breath, making both Eren and Hange glance in his direction with equally inquisitive and confused looks on their faces.

“Look, I gotta go out for a bit, you two just…do whatever the fuck you’re doing, and I’ll be back soon-ish.” Levi says, rushing to grab his jacket from over the back of the couch Eren is sitting on before shoving it on over his grey, button down cardigan and dark jeans.

“What’s going on?” Eren asks, giving Levi a worried look as the older man takes the car keys from the kitchen table and pockets them.

“Don’t worry, I’ll explain later…probably…we’ll see what happens.” Levi says distractedly on his way out the door, before turning back on his heel to press a soft kiss to Eren’s lips, presumably as a way to placate his younger boyfriend but only succeeding in leaving him even more uneasy at the uncertainty in his tone.

The front door slams behind him as he leaves and Eren is left a little bit gobsmacked at the whole exchange. Hange, who has been focusing more on her reading material, suddenly pipes up.

“I wouldn’t worry too much about him. It’s when he says nothing at all, that’s when you should be concerned.” She says, peering over at him as she takes a sip from her mug.

“I know, I just wish he’d tell me what’s going on sometimes.” Eren remarks with the hint of a frown on his face, “But it’s like he prefers to leave me in the dark with certain things.”

“I wouldn’t take it personally. He’s always been that way.” Hange says, putting her booklet down on the table and holding her mug in both hands, giving him her full attention, “He’s just…independent I suppose.”

Eren hums lowly and nods his head in agreement, it’s not a new discovery but all the same it feels nice to hear that he’s not all alone in his assessment of Levi’s character. He knows Levi is independent, and Eren is definitely not the person that should be complaining about secrets being kept from him, but still he would like to think that Levi would want to share things with him. Maybe given time it would become more natural for them both to do so. Only time will tell, he guesses.

“But you know, he is very happy these days. More so than I can ever remember.” Hange states honestly, with a serene smile on her face as she says it, “And that’s got to count for something, surely?”

Eren is surprised to hear Hange saying that, “Really? You think so?”

Hange nods, “Most definitely. I’ve never seen him so relaxed around another person before. Not even with me, Erwin or any of his old squad, and he literally trusted us with his life once upon a time. Believe me Eren when I say that he is incredibly happy. You make him so happy, and I’ll be forever grateful for that.”

Eren can’t quite put his finger on why, but he thinks Hange sounds incredibly sad when she says that. And it’s with that in mind that he asks his next question.

“Hange, I have to ask… I won’t be mad or anything, I just need to know. Are you still in love with Levi? Is that why you left to come here?”

For an instant, horrible second, Eren thinks Hange is going to burst into tears based on the expression on her face at his question, so it’s quite the shock when she actually starts to laugh instead.

“Oh Eren sweetie,” Hange says through amused giggles, “No, I’m not. I mean, of course I LOVE him, I’ll always love him. But I’m not IN love with him and I haven’t been for a very long time.”

“I’m sorry.” Eren apologises, feeling a little flustered and embarrassed, “I didn’t mean to assume anything, I just…”

“Please, don’t worry about it.” Hange insists, sensing Eren’s discomfort, “It was a perfectly fair question and I can’t say that I blame you for asking. Surely, if one of Moblit’s exes turned up suddenly out of the blue asking to stay with us I’d…”

Hange trails off suddenly, her face falling and gaze downcast as she remembers herself, remembers the situation she’s now in and it hurts so bad that she almost can’t contain it. Eren simply says nothing, letting her compose herself and re-apply her mask that says, ‘I’m okay’. He won’t humiliate her by homing in on those emotions she’s so clearly trying to hide from him, he refuses to do that. But maybe by getting her to talk about what’s been going on recently, maybe he can find out in a way that won’t cause her break down in front of him.

It’s important that she’s allowed to keep her dignity right now, and Eren will do whatever he can to support that while finding a way to help at the same time.

“Hange…I know you asked Levi not to ask questions…but he’s not here now. So I was thinking, maybe you could talk to me instead?” Eren suggests, “I know you don’t know me all that well, and there’s probably nothing I can say or do that will make you feel any better...but maybe that’s what you need right now, someone un-involved that can listen?”

Hange says nothing for what feels like several minutes, simply staring down at her hands as she considers his offer, and Eren is just about to tell her it’s fine, and that she doesn’t need to take him up on it when she finally speaks up.

“The problem is Eren…if I do tell you, then you’ll have to tell Levi. And I can’t let you do that. It absolutely HAS to come from me.” Hange explains, “And I don’t know if I’m ready to do that yet.”

“Well…” Eren begins, “Maybe that’s a good thing?”

“What do you mean?” Hange asks with a confused tone, not quite grasping the boy’s meaning.

“Well, you say you’re not sure if you’re ready to tell Levi yet, and by telling me it’ll force your hand.” Eren elaborates before adding, “Perhaps that’s a good thing? Think about it…you could wait days, weeks or even months agonising over whether or not it’s the right time…but if that decision was taken away from you and you had no choice but to tell him, maybe it would save you a lot of stress in the long run.”

“I guess that’s a way of looking at things…” Hange muses aloud, clearly thinking seriously about Eren’s proposal.

“And if you want, you could even think of me as a trial run.” Eren suggests, “I mean, I don’t know the nature of you want to say…but if it’s bad, then maybe you need to practice what you really want to say before you tell Levi…it’s just an idea.”

“No, you do have a point. And it is a good idea, it’s just…I’m scared.” Hange admits, a little uncomfortably as she moves her knees up to wraps her arms around them, looking more like a young child than a grown woman of 34.

“There’s nothing to be scared of, Hange.” Eren says, getting up from his spot on the couch to walk over and place a hand on one of hers. She shifts over to the side to allow him space to sit next to her instead. He does just that, making sure he’s mindful of her papers as he shifts his weight to avoid them.

Her gaze doesn’t meet his for even a second.

“You’re not in any kind of trouble, are you?” Eren asks her gently, and Hange shakes her head no, rubbing a stray tear away from one of her eyes with the back of her hand.

“No, nothing like that. Well, unless you count walking out on my husband without so much as a word to move in with my ex and his new partner as trouble, that is.” She attempts to joke, but it falls a little flat as her voice hitches somewhere in the middle.

Eren gives her a rueful look before moving his hand so that he’s rubbing her back comfortingly instead.

“I don’t want to push you Hange, if you’re really not ready to talk about this yet, then that’s okay. We can wait, there’s no rush.” Eren offers, “There’s plenty of time.”

Hange lets out a little noise that sounds like something in between a laugh and a sob as he says that, but manages to rein whatever it was in enough to keep her composure, which Eren suspects is actually a much harder task than she’s making it out to be.

“Unfortunately, time is not something that’s currently on my side.” Hange states resolutely, “Which is probably all the more reason why I should tell you now instead of putting it off.”

“Hange…you’re not making any sense…” Eren says, the words coming out slow and uncertain, “What do you mean, time isn’t on your side? I don’t understand…”

Hange takes a few deep breaths, steadying herself and mentally preparing for what she’s about to say next. Without a word, she takes one of Eren’s hands in her own, squeezing it tightly just before she begins to speak.

“Levi may or may not have told you, but a good few years ago now, I was diagnosed with Ovarian Cancer…”

Eren gives her an encouraging nod, “Yeah, he told me. I hope that’s okay.”

Hange nods, “I thought it was going to kill me. In fact, it almost did, but somehow I recovered…I don’t know how I could have done it without Moblit, Erwin or Levi…I probably would have died if it hadn’t been for any of them. Moblit wouldn’t back down, couldn’t take no for an answer…he did everything in his power to make sure I was getting the best help possible, and encouraged me to keep going, not to give up no matter what…always keep fighting. They all did, but Moblit especially couldn’t rest until I was given the all clear, even if it meant he got sick in the process…he couldn’t look after himself while he was trying to look after me. It was probably the worst time of our lives. Losing my ability to have children was actually the least of my worries when it came down to it.”

Eren doesn’t say anything, simply lets her say what she needs to say while continuing to squeeze her hand in comfort for as long as she needs him to. Hange continues,

“Back then…Moblit suggested that I maybe go through surgery to get my breast tissue removed as a precaution. It’s not like it would have bothered him and we don’t have sex all that much anyway, and without the ability to bear children, they’d only be for aesthetic purposes…but still, it was my body, and I didn’t want to have them removed. I was pretty adamant about it, and Moblit ended up relenting in the end. But, looking back, I wonder what would have happened if I had listened to him…maybe I wouldn’t be in this situation today…who knows?”

“Hange…what are you talking about?” Eren asks softly, although he’s not entirely sure now that he wants to know the answer.

“A couple of months ago, not long after I first visited actually…I found a lump on one of my breasts. I had it removed and tested, and it came back as positive for being cancerous. I thought it was all gone, but then more appeared…and I got them all removed too but…it wasn’t enough. I started to notice…pain in my spine…just a little at first, but then it wouldn’t go away…nowadays it’s almost constant. I went back to the hospital to get it checked out…and that’s when they told may I had become metastatic.”

Eren can barely hear Hange’s words through her sobs as she speaks, but he’s heard enough…he knows. And no matter how much he wants to…he can’t unhear it now.

“Hange…no…please no…”

“I have cancer.” Hange says with finality, “And I’m going to die.”

Chapter Text

Chapter 41

It’s around noon time when Mikasa checks out her last car for the day, sending it away with another satisfied customer and allowing her the next few hours to work on the remaining three she has left in the shop alone in peace.

It’s Wednesday, and two of the cars are repair jobs that she aims to have fixed before the weekend, a hefty workload that’ll keep her plenty busy until then. Just the way she likes it, having very little free time means having less time to think after all.

She knows deep down that it can’t be all that healthy for the baby, but right now she needs to focus on her business if she’s going to have any chance of being able to provide for her child once they’re born. It’ll be much harder, if not entirely impossible, to continue working at the same rate once she’s nursing a child. It’s only good sense to get a head start now.

The third car she’s working on is more of a scrap project, something she has every intention of taking apart and selling off the pieces for a tidy profit. A healthy gearbox alone can go for several thousand depending on its age and condition, and Mikasa is certain she can clean it up well enough to see a similar result in the parts she has available in this pile of junk.

While she’s not in any rush to take the thing apart just yet, it’ll become harder to do the further along in her pregnancy she gets. Luckily, she has the Grice brothers working for her on a part time basis now. They don’t have a hell of a lot of experience working with cars, but they needed a job and can do a lot of the heavy lifting when she needs them to.

Mikasa has her head buried in the hood of one of her repair jobs, her overalls unzipped and tied around her stomach, when she hears the sound of a car slowly approaching the shop. She knows for a fact that she doesn’t have any more appointments scheduled for today, but that doesn’t mean she won’t get any walk ins.

Assuming this to be the case, she pulls her head up and turns around to meet her newest customer, surprised to see a rather flashy, silver, Audi R8 pulling up just outside. It’s definitely not the kind of car she’s used to seeing turn up looking for her assistance, she’s usually more accustomed to pick up trucks or the odd muscle car here and there.

She’s admittedly a little unsure of how to approach this particular client, knowing that their choice of expensive car suggests a much higher standard of service, and she suddenly feels a little self-conscious clad in just in her overalls and white tank top, both of which are covered in oil and grease.

That is until she sees who her client is, when a familiar blond head of hair becomes visible as the person gets out of the driver’s seat and they lock eyes across the lot.

Erwin.

She can feel her own face turning white as he gives her an awkward little half-wave with his good hand, before locking the car and making his way over to where she stands, his gait casual as he places his hands in the pockets of his light grey dress pants.

Mikasa can feel her throating turning dry before she’s even said a word, so she clears it as inconspicuously as possible before opening her mouth to speak.

“Didn’t have you pegged as the sports car kind of guy.”

She only says it to tease him, but as soon as the words are out, she knows they sound much harsher than she’d intended. He doesn’t seem to notice at least, or if he does he certainly doesn’t let it show.

Erwin simply gives her a relaxed shrug, “What can I say? All boys need their toys right? Just got it modified so I can use it with this.” He indicates his prosthetic by holding it up for her to see before quickly dropping it to his side.

“So, what? You drive all the way here from Trost to get me to service it for you or something? Seems a little out of the way for a busy man like you.” Mikasa says with no real bite in her words this time, although they don’t seem to come out any less bitter than before.

“Actually, it’s one that I like to keep in Shiganshina. Easier roads to drive on out here…less traffic, y’know?” Erwin remarks with an endearing little half-smirk that shows off his handsome dimples, pausing for just a second before continuing, “But no, I’m not exactly here to see you about my car.”

“Then whatever it is will have to wait. I’m really rather busy right now, so if you wouldn’t mind...”

“Mikasa. Please talk to me.” Erwin begs, placing his flesh hand carefully on Mikasa’s bare arm, “At least tell me what I did wrong?”

“I can’t do this right now Erwin, it’s just not a good time.” Mikasa says, turning away with a frown.

“Then when will be?” Erwin asks, before adding, “Another month? Two? Look, maybe I’m way out of line here, but I thought you and I were…I thought that you liked me. Feel free to tell me if I’m wrong and that I’m being overly sensitive about all this. I promise I’ll get straight back in my car and you’ll never have to see me again. Either way, I just have to know…because for whatever reason, I can’t seem to get you out of my head. So if you really want me to leave, then I’ll go, but first I’d like to know why.”

Mikasa sighs, swivelling back around to face him, “It’s…it’s not like I lost interest or anything. You were a perfect gentleman and I enjoyed spending time with you. And you’re right, I did like you…I still do.”

“Then what’s the problem?” Erwin asks with a glimmer of hope in his eyes, “If it’s something I did, is there anything I can do that would make things up to you or fix it? I really like you Mikasa, and I really don’t want this to be the end of us. So if there’s anything I can do to change your mind, I’ll happily do it!”

“Oh god, this is so much harder than I thought…” Mikasa mutters to herself, before adding a little louder and clearer this time, “It’s not…it’s nothing YOU did, well not just you at least…it’s more something WE did. And, it’s not something that can just be changed or erased…there is no ‘fixing’ this. Not that I’m saying it’s something that needs to be fixed or anything, it’s just…shit, I don’t know what I’m saying anymore…fuck!”

“Mikasa…please try and calm down a little, I can’t understand what you’re trying to say.” Erwin says gently, placing his hands on her shoulders to stop her pacing around anymore, “Let’s just take this from the beginning, and maybe we can try figuring this out together. How does that sound?”

“Erwin. I’m pregnant.” Mikasa blurts suddenly, not wishing to draw it out any longer.

Erwin pales slightly at the statement, his mouth opening ever so slightly and eyes widening just a fraction in surprise. Mikasa’s gaze falls to the floor, although Erwin doesn’t try to remove his hands from her body.

“You…you’re pregnant? Did I just hear that right?” Erwin asks, hands still firmly placed on Mikasa’s shoulders.

She nods, and Erwin says nothing. They’re both silent for a stretch of time that’s long enough for Mikasa to feel a little worried as to how the man is reacting internally. She hadn’t expected him to be overjoyed or anything, but she had thought that maybe he’d at least have something to say, even if it were to curse her out. Anything would be better than complete silence.

Mikasa is about to break it herself, when Erwin snaps himself out of his stupor, using his hands to pull her closer so that she’s wrapped tightly in his arms. It takes Mikasa a good few seconds before she actually registers that Erwin is hugging her.

“Oh Mika…why didn’t you tell me sooner? You’ve had to deal with this all on your own, I could have helped you. It’s the least I should have been doing as the father…oh, I…am the father, aren’t I?”

Mikasa nods at him with a disbelieving smile, “Yes, of course you are. I meant what I said when I told you I liked you. But…Erwin, are you even thinking about what I just said? I’m pregnant…as in PREGNANT pregnant…as in ‘going to have a baby’ pregnant.”

“Yeah, I got all that.” Erwin says with a teasing grin as he pulls away slightly, “This is all so…unexpected…but I’m here now, however you need me, I promise. Anything you need me to do, just name it, I’ll be there right away. Now, there’s so much we need to get sorted, firstly you’ll need to be added to my medical insurance plan, I take it you already have an OBGYN? If not, we can get you set up with someone good, I’m sure I can ring in a couple favours for short notice.”

“Erwin, wait a second! You don’t have to do any of that, I don’t need all that.” Mikasa cuts in, attempting to get him to stop rambling for a second. Whether it’s from nerves or excitement or a mixture of both, she can’t quite tell.

“Why? It’s no issue to add you to my plan, plus private medical care in this situation would be preferable unless…unless you’re not planning on keeping the baby.” Erwin says with sudden realisation, his features falling in an instant as he asks, “Are you… are you going to get rid of the baby?”

“No! I AM keeping the baby.” Mikasa reassures him, “It’s just…Erwin, this is all so fast. We’re not even together, and already you’re talking about joint medical insurance and OBGYNs and it’s all just a little…too much. I mean, it’s not like we’re committed or anything.”

“What if I wanted us to be?” Erwin asks immediately, without a hint of hesitation in his voice.

Mikasa stares blankly at him for a second, “You…you want us to be together? Like, a couple? As in, a going steady couple?”

“Only if you want us to be.” Erwin clarifies, “But I know I’d like us to try it, at least.”

“But…” Mikasa begins, hesitating before confirming, “We barely know eachother.”

“So what?” Erwin counters immediately, “Why should that even matter? We’ve known eachother several months now. We like eachother. We’ve been on dates. We’ve had sex. From the way I see it, we’re in a hell of a good position to be able to do this.”

“Okay those are all fair points, but even so, we don’t exactly know anything real about eachother.” Mikasa argues, “I mean, I don’t even really know what you like to do in your spare time, I don’t know anything about your family or any of your previous relationships. Not to mention the age difference.”

“None of that has ever bothered you before, and from what I’m hearing it sounds like you’re making an awful lot of excuses as to why this won’t work.” Erwin remarks, “What are you so afraid of?”

“I’m not afraid.” Mikasa insists, quickly adding, “I’m just trying to be realistic here. And besides, you’re making this all sound like it’s a done deal and we’ll be one, big, happy family once the baby is born. I liked you Erwin, I REALLY liked you…and I don’t want to do anything that’ll change that. I just think that if we go into this full steam ahead, we may end up ruining what we had.”

“Answer me this at least,” Erwin requests, “Now that you’re pregnant, have your feelings for me changed in any way? Do you resent me now?”

“No, of course not.” Mikasa assures with a shake of her head, “But I can’t say for sure that over time, when I’m all round and useless, that I won’t eventually begin to. I’m an incredibly independent person by nature, it’s gonna be hard for me to take a backseat when I’m not able to work properly anymore, or do things for myself without running the risk of hurting the baby. So when you talk about things like sorting out my medical insurance and what not, it’s like I’m already losing control. I’m just not ready for that.”

Erwin sighs, rubbing lightly at his forehead, “But you don’t have to see it like that, which I know is easier said than done. I just want to be able to take some responsibility for my child. You have no idea how horrible it makes me feel that I wasn’t there for you when you found out about all this. I want to make sure that you and the baby have the best of care and anything you could possibly need.”

“But I have everything I could possibly need.” Mikasa says, holding her hand out to clutch at Erwin’s, “I have my own business, my own money. I have my parents and my brother; plus the best of friends I could have ever asked for. And I have you now too, don’t I?”

“Always.” Erwin answers honestly, squeezing Mikasa’s hand ever so softly, “For however long you want me. I meant what I said, I want to be there for you and my baby. In whatever way you’ll have me.”

“Erwin…I don’t want you to be feel obligated to me. You shouldn’t feel like you need to be in a relationship with me just because we’re having a baby. That wouldn’t be fair, on me or on you.” Mikasa says, using her free hand to cup Erwin’s cheek.

He uses his prosthetic hand to rub Mikasa’s bare arm, turning his head to kiss her palm placed on his face, “Mikasa...I don’t think you fully understand, so let me explain my position to you. You see, I was in love with a woman once, and I thought I had infinite time and opportunity to settle down with her, to build a life, get married and have kids. Because I took my time, I ended up taking her for granted and she got tired of waiting around for me to make up my mind.”

Mikasa grimaces, this particular situation sounding rather familiar to one she’s been in herself before.

“Eventually she met somebody else, and it took her very little time to leave me behind for someone willing to give her everything she wanted.” Erwin explains, “I’ve regretted my actions every single day since the moment she left my life. And I promised myself, that if I ever found myself in a position where someone special came along and I was faced with the opportunity to do it all over again, I wouldn’t hesitate this time. I don’t pretend to know what’s going to happen with us, or if we’ll even last together as a couple…but what I do know is that even before I knew you were pregnant, I wasn’t ready to lose you…so I want to try, if you’ll let me.”

Mikasa is completely silent for a beat, letting the words fully sink in and digest before she can decide how exactly she wants to respond to Erwin’s confession. It’s not like she’d expected to be faced with this when she woke up this morning.

“The things you’re saying…it reminds me of a similar situation that I’ve been in personally. My ex-girlfriend Annie, she wanted all those things too…she wanted to get married, have a family and grow old together. But I was more interested in making sure Eren was in a good place, and she stuck around with me even then, it wasn’t fair of me to do that to her…to expect that of her. I did eventually lose her too, so I know exactly how you feel. I lied before you know, when I said I wasn’t scared, because I am. I’m scared I’ll fall in love and be left alone again.”

“But isn’t it better to have loved and lost, than to spend your life wondering what could have been?” Erwin asks, the hopeful tone firmly back in his voice again.

“I don’t know…what if you and I did try being together but it didn’t work out? We have a child to think about, it could hurt them so badly if we couldn’t stand to be around eachother.” Mikasa argues, not quite meeting Erwin’s powerful gaze.

“And what makes you so certain that this won’t work out?” Erwin asks, “What if it did? What if we try this and it turns out to be the best thing we ever do? We’ll never know unless we try. Besides, it’s not like it has to be all at once, we could spend some time dating and getting to know eachother like before. And we can do it all at a pace we’re both comfortable with if that’s what you want. I care about you Mikasa, and I want to do everything I can to prove that to you. But it’s all about whether or not that’s what you want too?”

“I…” Mikasa begins, before shortly trailing off for a moment, “I do want to be with you. I’d like to try…but we’d need to have some boundaries to start with. Like letting me sort out my own care, for instance. And we’d need to start over again…I’d need to feel like I’m getting to know you, properly this time.”

Erwin breaks out into an ecstatic grin, and Mikasa thinks he’s going to hug her again, but instead he simply takes her left hand in his and shakes it as if they’re meeting eachother for the first time.

“Hello, my name is Erwin Smith, and I’m the Father of your child. I’m 37 years old and I own a security company that’s based in Trost. My business takes in a 6 figure sum each year, and I am considering relocating to be closer to my family, when that time comes I’ll take to working more in a home-based role. Both of my parents are dead, and I have no brothers or sisters, in fact I think the closest living relative I have is a cousin in Marley. I’m an ex-commander of the military, so I’m also entitled to an Army pension, and I have one arm following an unfortunate event which resulted in my retirement. I learned just a short time ago that I’m going to have a baby, and I think that I love them already…it certainly doesn’t hurt that I’m rather sweet on their Mother as well.”

Mikasa gives Erwin a shy smile, trying not to dwell on the fact that he has just referred to her and the baby as his family. His ONLY family at that. It leaves her with butterflies in her stomach, and not necessarily in a bad way. Taking her own initiative, she decides to follow his lead.

“My name is Mikasa Ackerman, I’m 22 years old and I’m the Mother of OUR child. A couple of months ago, I acquired my own vehicle repair shop after years of working as an employee for the man who gifted it to me. I earn money solely through commission, it helps that I’m very skilled at what I do. My birth parents are dead, but I have adoptive parents whom I adore and a brother who means the world to me. I may or may not be related to Levi in some way, but that’s stone I’d much rather leave unturned. I only recently found out that I am pregnant, but I already know that they are the single most important thing in my life. It also helps that I may or may not have a massive crush on their Dad.”

Erwin chuckles as she finishes, pulling her close to place a gentle kiss on her forehead and a tentative hand on her stomach. He moves her overalls out of the way and spreads his fingers over her tank top, not caring at all that he’s getting his expensive shirt covered in grime, it’s totally worth it.

“You won’t be able to feel much for a few weeks at least.” Mikasa explains, “I’m only 9 weeks along, so there’s still a ways to go. It won’t be until at least my second trimester that I even start to show.”

“Doesn’t matter to me.” Erwin explains, “Just knowing that he or she is growing inside you…it’s incredible. You’re incredible, you know that?”

Instead of answering, Mikasa does what she’s been dying to since laying eyes on Erwin as he walked back into her life. She grabs the collar of his shirt in both palms, and pulls him into a kiss. He wastes no time in wrapping her up in arms again, kissing her back with just as much urgency and passion as Mikasa is putting into it. He’s about to use his strength to lift her so that she’s not straining so much to reach his mouth when the sound of another car approaching reaches their ears.

This car happens to be one that Mikasa actually does recognise this time, and it pulls up just behind Erwin’s. Levi steps out almost as soon as he’s managed to park up, looking equal measures annoyed and relieved as he slams the car door behind him and stalks towards them.

“Levi, what a pleasure seeing you here!” Erwin greets as his best friend scowls in his direction.

“Fuck you, smartass!” Levi growls, though without any real malice, “I thought I’d race all the way out here to warn Mikasa you were on your way to confess your undying love like a complete and utter moron, but it seems like I was too late after all.”

Erwin blushes, having the good sense to look a little embarrassed as Mikasa nudges him playfully, “Yeah well…it all worked out in the end anyway. Surprised to see you so concerned though, usually you’d just let me crash and burn in situations like this.”

“That’s because usually your idiotic tendencies don’t involve a baby mama.” Levi counters with a roll of his eyes, “I take it by your kissing and proximity that everything’s been worked out?”

Mikasa and Erwin give eachother a shy smile before Mikasa confirms, “We’re still working things out but, we’re gonna give it a go together…a relationship that is.”

“And hopefully parenthood will come a little more naturally now that we’re re-acquainted.” Erwin adds, “Although, I must admit I am a little surprised that you already knew.”

“Tch, well she needed to tell somebody! And there was no telling how your dumbass would have reacted to the news.” Levi argues, leaving Mikasa looking rather shocked and affronted when he catches sight of her.

“You told me you were sure he’d be okay with it!” Mikasa accuses, and Levi wastes no time in turning his annoyed scowl to her.

“Well it all worked out, didn’t it?” Levi counters, “And for what it’s worth, I AM happy for you both. Even if you made me leave Eren at home with little to no explanation as to why I had to rush out like a headless chicken first thing this morning. Oh, which brings me to my next point, Hange’s here.”

Erwin raises his bushy eyebrows in surprise at that, “Really? She never mentioned that she was coming when I spoke to her last. Did she say why?”

“That’s why I’m so fucking frazzled.” Levi explains, “She didn’t even tell Moblit she was coming, and she’s slapped my ass with an NQA. But from the sound of it, it looks like she’s left him for good.”

“Jesus…” Erwin exclaims, pinching the bridge of his nose with his fingers, “Where is she now? At your house? Do you think it would be worthwhile if I came back with you so I can see her? Maybe help talk some sense into her?”

Levi nods, “I was sort of banking on it, to be honest. Obviously, it would have been dependent on things working out here or if I managed to deflect you on time. Luckily for all of us, there seems to be no need for that.”

Erwin turns to face Mikasa once again, “I know I’ve only just gotten here and there’s still so much for us to talk about, but would you mind if I head back to Levi and Eren’s place so I can speak to Hange? I should only be a few hours and then I can come and pick you up?”

“Actually, I was just about to ask, do you think you can take me back there with you?” Mikasa asks before clarifying, “It won’t hurt if I close up a little early today, and I really should tell Eren the news now that both you and Levi know. It’s not fair to keep him in the dark about it.”

“I’d have to agree.” Levi says, “He’s already constantly on my back to know what we talked about at dinner that day. It’ll probably help smooth things over if you let him know what happened, I’m sure he’ll understand then. And if he doesn’t, I’ll just beat it into his thick skull.”

“Yeah, beat him.” Mikasa remarks sarcastically, leaving Erwin slightly confused as he looks between the pair of them sharing a secret smirk.

“I’m missing something.” Erwin states matter of fact, and Levi just shakes his head at the much taller man.

“Never mind about that, idiot. Lets just get going, I’m sure that with everything that’s happened recently, both Eren and Hange could do with a little bit of good news. Even if your kid is destined to have weird caterpillar eyebrows and hard rock abs when it evacuates the womb.”

Chapter Text

Chapter 42

Levi can practically taste the tension in the air when he walks through his front door, Mikasa and Erwin following on not far behind.

It’s still early afternoon, barely 2pm, yet the house is dull and in complete silence. When Levi clocks Eren and Hange sitting together on their two-seat sofa, both of their gazes downcast and their hands interlocked, he doesn’t know quite what to think, but knows whatever it is can’t be good.

The TV is now on standby mode and they are both still in their pyjamas, in fact it looks to Levi as if they’ve barely made a move at all since he left them several hours ago. With Eren he can understand, but Hange certainly isn’t the type to lounge around all day, she’s always been someone that needs to be up and doing something either physically or mentally stimulating, even on her sick days.

It only strives to send a sick feeling right down to the pit of Levi’s stomach before either of them even look up to acknowledge him.

“Is…everything okay?” Erwin asks suddenly, instantly reminding Levi that they have company, “Hange? You alright?”

Hange takes a second before she raises her head and looks straight on at her tall, blond, best friend. She gives him a bright smile that doesn’t quite reach her eyes, which Levi notes once again are red rimmed and watery just like the night before.

Hange gets up off the couch then and walks the short distance to where Erwin is standing, giving him a long, tight hug before pulling back and doing the same to Mikasa, not even noticing the slightly startled and confused expressions on both their faces. Levi takes a quick glance over at Eren then, hoping to be given even a hint as to what’s occurred in his absence, but his boyfriend is still not looking at anyone, his eyes fixed on his now empty hands.

“It’s been so long, Mikasa!” Hange chimes happily as she holds Mikasa back at arm’s length as if inspecting her, “I hope you’re well? You’re looking really good! Erwin seems to worry about you a lot whenever he’s back home, I don’t think he likes being so far away from you.”

“Hange…” Erwin warns, although with no real bite, he just looks a tad embarrassed. Mikasa simply gives Hange a shy smile at the words.

“I’m fine Hange, and don’t worry, Erwin won’t have to worry so much anymore. I imagine I’ll be seeing a little more of him these days.”

Hange has no time to ask any further questions as any train of thought she has is interrupted by Eren deciding to speak up all of a sudden.

“Why are you here?” He asks, addressing his sister, “You come to call us some more names? Because I can tell you right now that I’m not in the mood, so if that’s why you’re here you may as well fuck off back home.”

Mikasa’s jaw drops ever so slightly, but she has no time to retort as Levi cuts in immediately, “Hey now, that’s enough, what the hell has gotten into you? You were fine this morning.”

Eren shrugs, still not making eye contact with anybody in the room, but his face is wet and he almost looks like a moody teenager with his closed off body language and blank expression. He reminds Mikasa so much of the boy he was several years prior, and it causes such a brief feeling of sheer dread, that she almost reconsiders telling him what she came her to say.

“Hey Dipshit,” Levi growls, “Answer me when I’m talking to you, why are you acting like such a little brat?”

“Levi, don’t.” Hange pipes up, placing a hand on one of Levi’s tense shoulders, “This is my fault, I hadn’t expected you to be back so soon…this isn’t going to plan at all, please don’t be angry with Eren.”

Levi finds himself looking between them both then as if searching for answers, before giving up and asking, “What’s going on? What the hell happened? What did you do?”

The last question is directed at Hange, and she looks at him dead in the eye when she says, “I told him why I’m here. I told him the truth.”

“Well would you mind sharing it with me?!” Levi asks, glaring at her now, “Seriously, you hit me with an NQA and but you’re all too happy to go tell someone you barely know about why you somehow just decided to just pack up your whole life and leave everything behind with zero notice at all? Eren isn’t the one getting the frantic phone calls and text messages from your husband asking where you are every 30 minutes, Hange. He’s not the one trying to convince Moblit not to file a missing person’s report so he can find you. And why the fuck is Eren so upset? Just tell me what’s wrong, god damnit!”

“Okay, okay!” Hange agrees, nodding her head and grasping both of Levi’s upper arms in an effort to get him to calm down a little, “I’ll tell you. Both of you.” She says indicating Erwin, “You have a right to know now that Eren knows...I did promise him after all…and from the sounds of things, it seems like he and Mikasa have some things to work out too.”

Levi doesn’t say any more, he’s still tense but he closes his eyes in an effort to maintain composure and not fly off the handle like he might usually do, not while Eren is so despondent. Erwin notices this, and immediately comes up with a suggestion to suit everybody.

“Levi, why don’t you and I go and sit out on the back porch with Hange, and she can tell us all about what’s been going on recently? That way Mikasa and Eren can talk things out here?”

Mikasa squeezes Erwin’s hand in thanks before the blond man begins leading his best friends to the door that leads out to Levi and Eren’s porch and back garden, the shorter man reluctantly moving alongside his friend, silently afraid of what’s about to be said and if he’s going to be able to deal with it.

+++

He can’t believe it. He doesn’t want to believe it. This can’t be happening. Not again.

Once upon a time, he’d learned Hange had been diagnosed with cancer, he’d watched her become sicker and sicker, weaker and weaker with every day that went by, held her close as she got thinner due to a lack of appetite, listened intently as she rattled off the details of what she wanted to happen to her assets upon her passing, offered himself as a pillar of support to Moblit as he refused to allow her to give in to her illness, and cried every night as he imagined what it would be like to live in this world without her.

But most importantly, he’d celebrated and silently thanked whatever entity chose to spare her from a cruel, torturous death as she was finally given the all clear after months of vigorous treatments and her own sheer stubbornness as she chose to keep fighting, to keep breathing another day and beat the invisible disease that threatened to steal her away all too soon.

And now…now history was about to repeat itself, and he’d have to do it all over again. Hange would have to fight this all over again…wouldn’t she?

“I still don’t understand Hange,” Levi says, voice heavy after remaining silent as he listened to her break that awful news, like she once had in eerily similar circumstances years earlier in her own back yard, with both Erwin and Levi by her side, “After everything that happened before, why…why did you leave Moblit behind? Surely he must be beside himself? He hardly let you out of his sight last time.”

Hange says nothing then, shifting uncomfortably on her chair and gripping on to the blanket in her lap like a lifeline. Of course, Erwin is able to read her like an open book.

“He doesn’t know, does he?” Erwin asks gently, and Hange shakes her head no, “Hange, why didn’t you tell him? You can’t do this to him, it’s not fair. You’re his wife.”

“Because it’s not fair for him to have to spend even more of his life trying to fight for me, when it’s already too late.” Hange insists, “I don’t know how long I have left, but I do know that I’m not making it out of this, not this time. And I’m not going to ask Moblit to spend the next several months or even years taking care of me, giving him false hope and pretending to battle this, because that’s all it would be. Pretending. He won’t let me give up without a fight, but I can’t fight this anymore…I’m too tired and it would just be cruel to keep him by my side when we all know I’m going to die.”

“Hange…” Levi says, his voice pained, “You know as well as I do, how much Moblit loves you. It wouldn’t be a burden for him to look after you for the time you have left, you said it yourself, it could be years yet! Do you really want to deprive him of that time he could be spending with you? Do you wanna deprive yourself of that time? If you really don’t feel like you can fight anymore…then, I can accept that as your friend… And I know that Moblit would too, it may take time, but he would.”

Levi can’t believe the words that are coming out of his own mouth, of course he can’t stand the thought of Hange giving up now! He doesn’t even want to think about what it would mean to accept her death…but he’s been here with her before, knows how difficult chemotherapy was and the effects it had on her body, and the pain – both physical and mental – of going through a hysterectomy in her late twenties. He knows how hard she fought every single day to keep living, and how tired she was when it was confirmed she was going to be okay again.

Now is a whole different time, and she already knows that this time there’s no getting better, that it’s too late for another war against her cancer. How can he expect her to keep fighting? To spend the rest of the time she has left in this world in constant pain, hoping for a miracle that’s likely to never come? Levi can’t do that to her, he won’t force her to go through all that again if it’s not what she wants…no matter how hard it may be for him to accept.

Hange is crying now, wiping at her eyes behind her glasses and shivering a little despite the relatively warm air this November afternoon. Erwin’s holding back his own tears, Levi notices but doesn’t say anything, not when he’s so far on the verge of breaking down himself.

“But I don’t want him to have to accept it.” Hange says tearfully, “I don’t want to leave him with that choice, knowing the last ever memories he’ll have with me will be filled with sadness and resolution, to feel like he has to spend however long looking after me all over again even though he’s already done everything he could possibly do to make me happy…I don’t want that for him, I love him too much. He deserves a life filled with joy and adventure, not with a dying wife in his arms. He’s 32 years old, and I want him to find somebody new, get married and start a life with them, and have children if that’s what he wants. He shouldn’t be spending his thirties nursing me and then spending the rest of his life grieving alone.”

“Shouldn’t that be his choice to make, Hange?” Levi argues, “You must realise that if given the choice, he’ll always choose to be by your side? By doing this, you’re taking his choice away.”

“No Levi.” Hange says with a rueful little smile, “I’m taking away the need for him to choose.”

“Hange, you’re in shock, you’re not thinking clearly.” Erwin offers softly, not wishing to offend one of his oldest friends, but Hange claps back at him regardless.

“My thoughts have never been more clear in my life!” Hange declares, looking at them both in turn as she explains, “I’m sorry, but neither of you understand what it’s like to love somebody with all your heart and expect them to watch as you get closer and closer to dying. I already did it once, I don’t want to put him through that again, not if I can help it. It’s better this way…at least now while he’s hurting, it’ll only be for a little while. Soon he’ll figure out that I’ve left him behind, and sure he’ll be sad, but in time he’ll become angry instead, and then he’ll be able to get on with his life. Then, in a few years from now when he finally learns of my death, I’ll be nothing but a distant memory.”

“You can’t possibly believe that’s what’s about to happen.” Levi states incredulously, “Do you honestly think Moblit is just about to forget you? That he’s not going to fight tooth and nail to find you and bring you home?”

“I know he won’t, but I have to believe that one day he will to stop myself from going completely insane, when every single instinct I have is telling me to run straight back to him and let him hold me until this is all over.” Hange says, her fists balled up tight in the blanket, “I can’t do it, as much as I may want to. I hate having to ask you to go through all of this with me again, and I WILL leave and go somewhere far away if you can’t handle it, I promise…but if I have any chance of sparing Moblit the pain of losing me like this, then I’ll take it. I just hope you can understand.”

Both Levi and Erwin are silent for what feels like hours, but is realistically only couple of long, dragged out minutes. They communicate in a way that feels almost telepathic, purely with their eyes and perfected over the years that they’ve known each other, and it’s through this mental agreement that they come to their decision.

“We could never ask you to leave, not in a million years, nor would we ever want to.” Erwin states honestly, “We love you Hange, and no matter how much we wish we didn’t have to do this…especially now…we’re both right here with you, and we always will be.”

“As hard as this will be for us, you’re not alone, and we will never stop wanting to take care of you.” Levi continues, “And as much as I wish you wouldn’t keep this from Moblit, if that’s what you wish to do, I won’t stand in the way of that. I may not understand it, but I can respect it.”

“We both can.” Erwin confirms with a nod, “And we’ll do whatever we can to help. I was planning to move out here a little more permanently anyway, so there won’t be any issues with me being around.”

“Wait, why are you moving all the way out here? Are you thinking of retiring?” Hange asks with wide eyes, genuinely curious.

Erwin shakes his head with a chuckle, “I’m 37 Hange, not 57. No, I’m not retiring, I can still work from out here. There are…going to be a few changes in the upcoming months, so I thought it best to come and live in Shiganshina on a trial basis at the very least. Plus, with you and Levi living out here now, it’s not exactly like I have anything to stay in Trost for, seeing as the business can still be run remotely.”

“That still doesn’t explain why you were wanting to come here before? What kind of changes are you talking about? Are they the good kind of changes or bad kind? Surely you wouldn’t move all the way out here just for Levi? I mean…I did, but that’s completely different…”

“Jesus, shut up, Shitty Glasses!” Levi snaps then but immediately feels bad about it, he should be cherishing her rambling and excitability while he can. He sighs audibly, “You may as well tell her Eyebrows, she’s gonna find out sooner or later.”

“Gonna find out what?” Hange asks, immediately perking up, “Erwin, tell me!”

“I don’t exactly think that this is the right time for…”

“Erwin please!!!” Hange begs obnoxiously, tugging relentlessly on Erwin’s shirt sleeve that she can reach from her seated position.

Erwin lets out a little breath before he eventually relents, “Mikasa is pregnant. I’m going to be a dad.”

Hange is silent for all of ten seconds, not moving even an inch of a muscle as she lets the news sink in properly. In a blink of an eyelid, Erwin finds himself with a lapful of screaming scientist, who’s clapping her hands together and kissing both of his cheeks in succession.

“ERWIN SMITH, YOU SLY BASTARD!” Hange yells loudly, “How could you not tell me you’re having a BABY?!”

Levi can’t help but hope that Mikasa has broken the news to Eren already, as if she hasn’t told him by now, he’s most definitely heard Hange’s outburst. Not the best way to find out your sister is pregnant, Levi can vouch…Hange’s loud as shit voice had been how he’d originally found out about Isabel’s pregnancy after all.

It occurs to Levi then how dark it seems to have gotten all of a sudden, a quick check of his watch tells him it’s only a little after 5pm, but as it’s winter the nights seem to be getting even longer as days go by. It’ll be Christmas Day soon, his Birthday. Maybe this year he’ll actually have a reason to celebrate.

Especially as Hange may not be around for the next…but he can’t dwell on that thought too much, he knows it’ll only consume him, he has to think of the positives. Eren…this will be his first Christmas with Eren. And hopefully, not the last one either…he just has to not fuck this up.

“I didn’t even know until today.” Erwin clarifies with a smile on his face as Hange grins at him like a maniac, “I had been thinking about moving here anyway, that much is true. But I only actually found out that Mikasa was pregnant when I went to see her today, that’s why Levi came to meet us, he already knew.”

Hange shifts her attention to Levi, looking at him with a scandalised expression and hopping off Erwin’s lap to swat at him across the head.

“You knew about this and didn’t tell me?!” She accuses, “How could you?!”

Levi glares at Erwin, who is watching the pair of them in amusement and quickly counters, “Nobody knew, Shit for Brains! Not even Eren! Mikasa made me promise not to tell anybody until she managed to tell Erwin first.”

“Crap, do you think she’s telling him right now?!” Hange says with a worried glance back at the house, “What if he heard me before she had a chance to say anything?!”

Levi rolls his eyes at his friend’s lack of discretion before softening slightly as he notes her genuine concern, “You’d think you’d have learned by now not to go running your mouth off on delicate situations, dumbass. But I wouldn’t worry, I’m sure if Eren heard anything before Mikasa told him, he’d be out here in a heartbeat. We’ve been out here for a couple hours now, I imagine if anything they’re probably just waiting around for us to finish talking.”

“Shit, you’re right!” Hange exclaims, as if noting how much time has passed for the first time. Levi sometimes can’t even blame Hange for losing all track of her days sometimes, there’s just something about her that could keep him talking all night long.

Of course it used to be one hell of a drag, especially when she started getting into tangents about her science work that he had little to no interest in, but he’s become accustomed to her chatter over the years. He can’t even begin to count the amount all-nighters he’s pulled with Hange and Erwin in the time he’s known them, talking about everything and nothing all at once.

Levi hadn’t realised how much he treasured those memories until this very moment.

“We better get back inside before we all freeze to death.” Erwin states, checking his watch and already getting up off the seat he’d been occupying.

“There are worse ways to go, I’d say.” Hange says with an evil smirk on her face, causing both Erwin and Levi to stare at her with blank expressions on their faces, “Oh come on, If I can’t joke about it, then who can?”

+++

It’s late, Levi notes, and he’s already been retired to bed for quite a while now.

After agreeing not to tell Mikasa about Hange’s cancer diagnoses just yet – Hange had argued that the younger woman deserved the chance to celebrate her news without ruining the evening with that particular bombshell – they had all gathered on the couches, feasting on greasy take-out food from the local Chinese restaurant and laughing together as if everything was right with the world.

Well, Levi had cracked the barest hint of a smile on a couple of occasions, but Hange had considered that an accomplishment in itself!

Eren had of course been shocked to hear Mikasa and Erwin’s news, almost disbelieving at first if Mikasa was to be trusted in her re-telling of events, but once it had all managed to sink in, he was obviously left ecstatic. He had barely left Mikasa’s side all night, pawing at her stomach every few minutes even though he knows there’s no chance of him feeling anything so soon, and Mikasa would simply smile and let him do it anyway.

Levi doesn’t think he’s ever seen Eren grin so much before, he was already calling himself favourite Uncle Eren and beaming like he’d found a Golden Ticket. And then he’d catch sight of Hange…and the smile would falter ever so slightly as he remembered.

While the particular circumstances involved in Hange’s sudden move hadn’t been explicitly discussed in front of Mikasa, it had been decided at dinner that Hange would continue living with Eren and Levi for the next few weeks until Erwin would return to Shiganshina with the majority of his things after sorting out his business plan for remote working, and Hange would then move in with him at his house.

Hange had of course argued that she didn’t mind finding her own place to live, but none of the boys would even hear about it. She would need company and support from now on, and not a single one of them wanted to even think about leaving her all alone to deal with this by herself. Not a chance. If she didn’t have Moblit to rely on any longer, they all would make damn sure that she would able to use them all as a crutch whenever she needs.

It makes more sense in the long run for Hange to live with Erwin, he has a much bigger house after all, and she would be able to have her pick of a bedroom to turn into her own personal space. Even if things change and Mikasa moves in with Erwin further along in her pregnancy, there’d still be plenty of room for Hange to live alongside them quite comfortably.

Even so, Levi can’t help but worry…

Eren had chosen to stay up with Hange for a little while longer after Erwin and Mikasa decided to head back to her place for the night – no doubt they’d be talking things over between themselves now that it’s all out in the open – but Levi can now hear him trying to sneak into the room while making as little noise as possible.

“I’m awake, you don’t have to creep around like a damn stalker.” Levi says, still laying on his side and not even sparing a glance in Eren’s direction.

“Sorry.” Eren whispers, lifting the covers on his side of the bed to let himself slip in beside Levi, his arm snaking over his boyfriend’s waist and pulling him close.

Levi quickly takes the hand Eren places on his stomach, gently pulling it up to his lips to kiss the back of his palm, intertwining their fingers together and not letting go. Eren subconsciously moves even closer, nuzzling his face into Levi’s shoulder and breathing in that deliciously musky scent of his skin. Levi can feel Eren’s breath of contentment at the shell of his ear.

“She’s an amazing person, Levi.” Eren says softly, “So brave and strong.”

“She is.” Levi agrees, “Always has been. She saved my damn life, I just wish she could do the same for herself now. She’s done it before, I know she could do it again…but I guess that’s just me being selfish.”

“It’s not selfish Levi.” Eren assures him, “It’s just wishful thinking. Something you of all people are incredibly entitled to do. I know you don’t want to see her give up, but she’s not, you know? She’s just giving in, on her own terms. She’s not keeping up a futile fight until it steals her away kicking and screaming, she’s too stubborn for that…kind of like you in a way. She’s just, accepting it, making her peace with it and striving to do all she can while she can. I think that’s incredibly brave, don’t you?”

Levi takes a moment to ponder this in silence, before ultimately nodding his head in agreement, “I do.”

Eren doesn’t say any more, simply breathing deeply into the crook of Levi’s neck and holding him close to his body. There are no words that will help console Levi in this moment, there’s nothing he can say that will make it all better or make it all go away. All he can do is be there for Levi, support him while he supports Hange, act as a source of comfort when he needs it and be the partner he deserves.

If that’s all Eren can do, then he’ll make damn certain he does his best at it.

For a moment, it seems like Levi has fallen asleep as his breathing evens out and he’s no longer as tense as he had been when he first came to bed. Eren is about to close his eyes and lose himself to his own slumber when Levi begins to speak again.

“I love you Eren.” Levi declares, whispering into the darkness and squeezing his lover’s hand tight, “I don’t think I could do this without you. Not again.”

Eren leans over and kisses Levi’s soft, pale cheek that’s illuminated by the moonlight coming in through the window, smiling softly as Levi’s eyes flutter closed at the contact.

“Yes you could, I know you could.” Eren reassures him, before adding. “You just don’t have to.”

Chapter Text

Chapter 43

The following week and a half passes without so much as a hitch, as Eren often finds himself forgetting that Hange is even living with them. She’s almost become like a part of the furniture at this point, she’s been so quiet.

He can’t help but feel like Levi was probably exaggerating when he said it had been a nightmare to have Hange as a roommate before, as she was so messy and loud all the time. Then again, Levi’s overall tolerance for those things is far less than Eren’s, so maybe he’s just not seeing what the problem is as he’s not that much better himself.

Despite moving the relatively small amount of stuff she has into Eren’s bedroom while she stays here temporarily, Hange tends to spend most of her time in one singular spot on the couch which, as the day goes on, becomes more and more like a mini-office before the woman ends up either spreading her things across the coffee table to get more room or falls asleep with her glasses askew and papers perched precariously on her lap.

She also likes to sit in the bedroom whenever Eren is practicing new drag looks or filming his videos, completely enamoured with how he manages to create a masterpiece on his face each and every time with almost nothing at all except his make-up palettes and trusty brushes - she’s even made an appearance on his most recent upload, becoming an instant hit with the Jaegerbombs for her contagious laugh and witty outbursts, which cause even him to lose his concentration and composure in a fit of giggles at times.

If anything, Eren is probably having more trouble with Levi these days, as the man can’t seem to sit still for even a second. If he’s not driving Eren around wherever he needs to go before they officially set off on Eren’s tour in two weeks’ time, he’s at the mall buying Christmas presents - mainly for Kaya, as they won’t be able to do much of their shopping when they get back - or running around after Mikasa while Erwin gets things sorted in Trost before his eventual move to Shiganshina.

Eren feels like Mikasa is probably getting a little anxious herself with Levi being at her side almost constantly, although she must also appreciate the help as she’s not told him to fuck off yet either.

The feather duster seems to have turned into a permanent extension of Levi’s hand recently, as he’s constantly going around the house giving the place a once over every few hours, going as far as to dust both Hange and Eren down as they vegetate in the living room. Hange barely notices, but Eren’s becoming tired of having to swat his antsy boyfriend away at least once a day.

Eren has attempted to ask Levi what’s going on with him on a couple of occasions, but has either been met with numerous excuses or just straight up denial that there’s even anything wrong. He’s not stupid, he imagines it’s probably a lot to do with Hange’s condition, but considering that the woman herself appears to be in good enough spirits at the moment, Eren guesses that’s probably not the sole reason for Levi being jittery all the time.

He just wishes he could do something to get Levi to relax, even for just a little while before they get on the road and it’ll be all systems go. The last thing Eren wants is for Levi to burn himself out unnecessarily and without realising that Eren is here to help, that he doesn’t have to do everything on his own.

It’s with this in mind, that Eren approaches Hange one afternoon whilst Levi is out with Mikasa to have a look at some baby accessories and to maybe pick out yet another stuffed animal for Kaya - Connie and Sasha are going to have an entire zoo in their house at this rate.

Hange is for once not ‘working’ on anything that looks too important, and seems to simply be reading a book for enjoyment as she curls up in her preferred spot on the couch. It’s a rather odd sight to behold, as the woman is reading upside down, with her legs in the air and her head hanging off the edge of her seat. That definitely can’t be comfortable.

She apparently senses Eren approaching, as before Eren can say a word, she begins to explain, “Did you know that the average person can retain far more information in a short span of time when the blood is centred around the brain than when they are in a more relaxed position? Less chance of distraction and outside influence that way, plus the urgent need to right oneself causes a subconscious panic that means we immediately try to soak up as much as possible before the need becomes too overwhelming.”

“Yeah…” Eren begins uncertainly, “But doesn’t that give you a headache?”

“Oh absolutely.” Hange says, before twisting herself into a properly seated position, blinking her eyes rapidly and rubbing at her forehead painfully, “But it’s an interesting idea, one that I would have been keen to test the limits of if I had the time and resource to do so. Though I’m gathering by the fact that you’ve been pacing around for quite a while and are currently looking incredibly uncomfortable, that there’s something specific on your mind that you wish to talk to me about?”

Eren tenses, not expecting her to be so upfront about it. Then again, he has noticed recently that Hange can be quite a blunt person by nature. In fact, it was just the other day that Mikasa came by and Hange spent about an hour going through all of the things most likely to go wrong during childbirth, along with sheer horror stories of perineal tearing and excessive vaginal bleeding that made even Eren clench up involuntarily.

“Uh kinda…” Eren answers, still unsure if this is the right way to about things, “It’s just…it’s about Levi.”

“Oh?” Hange asks, looking a little surprised, “What about Levi? Is he alright?”

‘He’s fine, I think…I’m not too sure…that’s kinda the problem, you see.” Eren tries to explain, before clarifying, “Recently, it’s felt like he’s been a little bit on edge, but whenever I try to talk to him about it he just brushes it off like it’s no big deal. I’m just concerned that’s he going to end up making himself ill if he continues refusing to relax. I keep trying to convince him that he doesn’t have to do everything by himself and that he can ask me if needs a hand, but he always tells me that’s he’s fine and doesn’t need my help. I just don’t know what to do, I don’t want to leave him like this…what do you think?”

“Honestly, I thought that maybe I was the one bothering you, so this is a little surprising.” Hange says with a titter, before ultimately continuing, “Hmm, but now that you mention it, he has seemed a little all over the place recently. I just assumed that as you hadn’t said anything that this was a fairly regular occurrence. I know that he used to get this way before whenever he was stressed or overthinking, so you’re probably right about him being on edge. Maybe it’s because of me?”

Eren shakes his head, “I think it’s more than just that. Recently it’s felt like everything is irritating him, not just you and me. And I don’t want you thinking you’re unwelcome here, I don’t have a problem, and whatever Levi is going through is obviously a build up of things, but I don’t know what. I just know that i’m not going to be able to get him to talk to me about it without starting a fight or something.”

Hange seems to ponder this for a few minutes, “I can see your dilemma. All I can really say is that Levi is a creature of habit, he hates when things change too much out of his comfort zone, maybe that’s something to do with it?”

“Maybe…” Eren says, it does sound like it could be a possibility, “I just don’t know what I can do about that. It’s not like I can stop Mikasa from being pregnant or…”

Eren freezes, realising a moment too late what he was about to say. Hange knows better than anyone that no one can just take her cancer away…what a stupid, inconsiderate thought to have.

Hange, however, simply gives him a kind smile, seemingly not offended in the slightest.

“No, I guess that’s true.” She says thoughtfully, before following up with, “But what about between you two? Have you been spending enough time together recently?”

Eren’s eyes narrow together in confusion, “What do you mean? We live together, we work together, we’re always together.”

Hange shakes her head with a chuckle, “I mean alone together, Eren. You two are a couple, you need some time to yourselves as well. When was the last time you spent any time together where it was just the two of you?”

The brown haired man really needs to think about this for a while before he can come up with an answer in his head, blushing madly when he realises that the last time was probably when they had fooled around together in the kitchen. They still haven’t even managed to replace that chair either, he feels goosebumps beginning to raise on his arms as he remembers that time and how good it felt.

“Umm…probably just before you arrived, I think.” Eren answers honestly, “We haven’t really had time since then.”

“Was that the last time you were intimate?” Hange asks, causing Eren to sputter indignantly.

“W-Well…I mean…t-that’s a little personal.” Eren says, feeling the heat and redness on his face spreading all across his chest and arms, doing nothing at all to help hide the sheer embarrassment he’s feeling at this line of questioning.

“I wasn’t talking about sex, Eren.” Hange re-assures him, tilting her head a little in amusement as she says her next words, “I was just referring to overall closeness and taking time out for your relationship. I don’t exactly know what goes on behind closed doors, so I was more wondering if you two have been managing to do that when you’re not surrounded by everybody else.”

Eren didn’t think he could physically get any more scarlet in the face, but as it turns out, he most definitely can. He fidgets a little uncomfortably before steeling himself enough to give a straight answer, Hange is only trying to give him a solution after all, it’s the least he can do.

“Uhh, not really to be honest.” Eren says, trying not to sound completely immature as he fidgets with his T-shirt, “We both work long days, me with the company and my YouTube channel, and Levi with following me around everywhere and making sure Mikasa is doing okay. That, plus he’s been taking it upon himself to make sure the house is cleaned to within an inch of its’ life and then he also stays up really late now too. I’ve found him sleeping in this chair more this week than he has in his bed.”

Hange shifts a little awkwardly then, “I hadn’t really noticed to be honest. I’ve been so focused on my paperwork, I hadn’t even realised he was here. But anyway, it sounds to me like you two just need to spend a bit of well deserved alone time together, you’re in a new relationship and that’s exciting! Just because things are changing all around you, doesn’t mean that this has to go on hold. If anything, you two should be embracing everything that you can while you can, you go on that tour in a couple of weeks right? This is your down time, you should be enjoying yourselves.”

Eren nods to himself, understanding where she’s coming from, but even so, “That’s fine and all, but what about you?”

“Me?” Hange asks in confusion, before the realisation hits her and she gives him a warm smile, “Oh Eren, I’m fine. You don’t have to worry about me, I’m perfectly okay by myself if you two need time alone. I’m a grown up woman in my thirties, you don’t have to spend every waking minute with me.”

“I know that, it’s just…I’d feel bad.” Eren admits, “It wouldn’t feel right leaving you alone while we’re off doing…whatever we’re doing.”

“It’s perfectly natural, Eren.” Hange says, matter of factly, “I’ve been married for several years, and know how it all works. But if it makes you feel uncomfortable, then I can go somewhere else for a while or I can use my headphones? I tend to get really into what I’m doing anyway, so I probably wouldn’t even hear anything, but even so?”

Eren thinks that he could literally crawl into a hole and die at any moment, he’s so bad at this.

“That’s not really what I meant…” Eren begins to say, before a thought occurs to him, and he amends what he’d been planning to say, “Although now that you mention it, I would like to ask a couple of questions, regarding THAT…but only if you’re okay with it.”

Hange immediately puts the book she’d been absentmindedly been holding down, clasping her hands together and setting them in her lap, instantly giving off a rather professional look that’s a rather big change from her usual care-free persona.

“Of course I’m okay with it, I have a doctorate after all! Sure, it’s not exactly a medical one…but even so, I probably know a lot more about the human body and its’ functions than most others could learn in a lifetime. It’s sort of been a pet project of mine, but that’s not important right now…Ask away!”

“Oh okay…” Eren says, still a little nervous, “It’s just that Levi mentioned one that you’re asexual? I’m sorry if that’s a touchy subject, the last thing I want is to offend you…”

Hange shrugs, “You don’t need to worry, you’re absolutely right. I do identify as asexual, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t have my own sex drive or that I can’t have sex, especially seeing as I have a husband who is most definitely NOT asexual.” She chuckles, looking a little wistful, “Plus, it’s not a crime to be curious, as I’ve found myself on several occasions studying erotic novels and pornography for the simple purposes of research, the kind you just can’t get from biology textbooks, you know? I don’t mind you asking questions Eren, in fact I’d actively encourage it!”

Despite the indifference in Hange’s tone, Eren still can’t help but feel a little nervous about what he wants to ask, but ultimately decides that if he wants to be a better partner to Levi - one that can fulfil all of his needs, both physically and emotionally - then he’ll need to swallow his pride and get it over with.

“I’m glad that you’ve said that.” Eren declares, “Because if it’s alright with you, I’d like you to tell me everything you know…about gay sex.”

Hange has already thrown herself into an information filled spiel before Eren even has the chance to mentally prepare himself for the onslaught.

+++

It’s the following evening when Eren finds himself perched on Levi’s bed, awaiting the man’s return, in full Rogue mode for the first time since Hange arrived on their doorstep.

Despite the fact he isn’t tucked, nor has he put on any additional padding to give the illusion of femininity, Eren still can’t help but feel incredibly confident in his chosen outfit for the evening and finds himself checking his form in the mirror every few minutes to make sure he looks just as good as he feels.

Eren decided on a clean white button down shirt with the top two buttons undone to reveal a lacy, black bra underneath, along with a black, form-fitting pencil skirt, translucent stockings and matching black stiletto heels for today, in order to give off the vibe of a sexy, secretary with blonde hair tied in a messy bun and thick-rimmed glasses perched on his nose.

He’s also made the decision not to put in his regular blue contacts, as he doesn’t want to detach from himself too much tonight, and instead opts to leave his dual-coloured eyes on display.

Hange had helped him choose his look for this evening, after he’d pretty much spilled the details on how Levi had been attracted to him as Rogue first before he’d eventually fallen in love with the Eren underneath it all, and had convinced him that the best way to stop the older man dead in his tracks would be to take him by complete surprise.

It had been a tiny bit embarrassing to ask Hange to approve his outfit, only to be told he should look more enticing by adding a garter belt and to change his lip colour from a rose pink to a bright red instead. As it turns out, Hange seems to have her own ideas about passion and romance, and Eren trying to look like the embodiment of sex on legs just wasn’t going to cut it without showing a little bit of skin.

Honestly, it’s a touch weird to think of her trying to get them laid. But he appreciates the help, he really needed it.

It’s a few minutes later when he hears the deep timbre of Levi’s voice outside the door, no doubt asking Hange why she is insisting he go into his bedroom, and Eren scrambles to make himself look alluring as he waits for his boyfriend to come inside and see him.

Levi enters the room only a matter of seconds later, and the way his jaw drops to the floor as he locks his gaze onto the sight before him is enough for anyone to feel incredibly powerful and sexy.

Eren bites his lip seductively and Levi’s breath catches in his throat as he tries desperately to maintain composure. He’s never seen something so wanton this up close and personal before, and knowing that Eren is HIS, just adds fuel to the fire in his gut. He must admit, he’s been missing Eren’s touch this last week or so while he’s been so busy…but Levi never imagined that the younger man would go this far in order to get his attention.

Come to think of it, Levi never would have believed for even a second that he would like it as much as he does now. If he’s learned anything in his time as Eren’s boyfriend, it’s that he is fully capable of becoming a sexual being, one that can crave and enjoy the intimate touches and kisses of the man he loves, as well as the feeling of the younger man losing himself to his most base desires. And even more incredibly, that Levi himself can share in those desires also and become so very aroused at the sheer prospect of getting to revel in them.

It’s both exciting and frightening, just how much of a hold Eren has on him now, and how just mere months ago the very thought of being with another man like this would have disgusted him to his very core. Just shows that time is a healer for all things…as well as being hopelessly in love with the beautiful boy on his bed.

“H-Hi…” Levi says lamely, uncharacteristic stumbling over his words, “W-What are you doing?”

Eren bats his eyelashes prettily in Levi’s direction before he answers, “I was just thinking, we’ve both been so busy recently, that we’ve not had a lot of time to do anything together recently. You’ve been working so hard babe, being so nice and helpful to everyone, I thought that it was about time that someone takes care of you too.”

Levi blushes, unable to stop himself from dropping his gaze to the floor as Eren looks up at him with those gorgeous, unique eyes.

“You don’t have to do that, Eren.” Levi says, “You don’t own me anything. I do it because I want to, not because I have to.”

Eren smiles sweetly up at him when he says those words, and gets up from the bed to stand at his full height, easily towering over Levi, especially in those high heels. He saunters over to where Levi is standing, hoping he looks more confident than he really feels, as his legs begin to tremble ever so slightly, and runs a freshly painted finger over Levi’s thin, soft lips.

“I know sweetheart.” Eren re-assures him, “And that’s why I’m doing this. Because I want to, not because I have to. Let me show you just how much you mean to me, Levi.”

Levi has no time to reply before Eren is kissing him passionately, backing him up against the door as he presses his full weight against the smaller, stronger man. Levi is taken aback at first, but eventually starts to give as good as he gets, kissing back just as fiercely and running his hands up and down Eren’s toned thighs over his skirt.

Eren moans sweetly when Levi dips his tongue into his wanting mouth, and gasps sharply when Levi unexpectedly uses gentle fingers to inch under his pencil skirt and trail over his thick, hairless legs. Levi’s eyes widen a couple of seconds later and he pulls away from their kiss, snatching his hands back, as if burned from an open flame.

Eren’s own eyes open in surprise as Levi stares at him in wonder.

“You’re not wearing any underwear…” Levi says, almost a whisper, which causes Eren to grin wickedly in response.

“You’re so cute.” Eren coos at him, pecking at the shorter man’s lips, “I’m wearing a thong.”

Levi is stunned silent for a few seconds at the revelation, only managing to let out a simple “Oh” when he his words do eventually come back to him.

Eren bites his bright red lips again, and Levi can see his pupils dilating from where he stands, but even so he is still able to ask,

“Do you wanna see?”

Levi finds himself running through all of the possibilities in his mind attached to that question, and his mind keeps supplying him with a resounding ‘YES!’, he does want to see it, but he doesn’t know how on Earth he is going to keep his heart from beating right out of his chest if does somehow gain the ability to ask for something like that.

“I don’t have to show you if you don’t want me to.” Eren says, the gentle tone present in his voice and also reflected in his eyes, immediately showing Levi just how nervous he is about all of this too. And that’s all the ammunition Levi needs to take charge of the situation.

“Show me.” Levi begs in no more than a whisper, “Please…I want you to.”

Eren blushes pink at the request, but doesn’t hesitate to spin around and slowly pull the tight-fitted skirt up over the expanse of his sun-kissed thighs and naturally tanned cheeks, tugging it high over his waist so that Levi can see everything on display from the naked skin of his lower body to the flimsy, thin fabric of his black thong.

Levi doesn’t actually know when he’d stopped breathing, and lets it all out in a large, breathy exhale as he stares at Eren’s beautiful skin, the plumpness of his ass and the tiny piece of string hidden in between his cheeks that can barely be called underwear - seriously, it may as well be dental floss. He can’t decide whether he wants to touch, squeeze, spank or bite the flesh presented in front of him, but all he does know is that either way, the sight of Eren’s perfect body alone is enough to leave him achingly hard in his pants.

He’s obviously worn these kind of panties himself in the past…but he’ll be damned if he’s ever managed to look even half as sexy as Eren does with them on.

“Wow…that looks uncomfortable.” Levi says, and Eren chuckles at the very Levi-esque statement. That is, until the man follows it up with, “Why don’t you take it off?”

Eren gazes back at Levi with a hooded gaze, before he slides his skirt back down and turns back around to meet Levi head on.

“I have a better idea.” Eren says, beginning to unbutton Levi’s pale, grey cardigan as he alternatively suggests, “Why don’t you go sit on the bed, and I’ll do something for you instead? How would you like that?”

Levi gulps hard at Eren’s proposal, as the words don’t exactly leave much room for misinterpretation. He appreciates the fact that his younger lover also isn’t boxing him in or making any demands, always leaving a way out right there for him so Levi doesn’t feel trapped or forced into something he doesn’t feel comfortable with. He honestly doesn’t think he could ask for anybody better than the young man in front of him right now, which makes it all too easy for him to nod his head lightly in agreement.

Eren grins as Levi strips out of his soft cardigan and hangs it up on the hook at the back of his door, before doing as he’d asked and moves to sit on the bed. Levi leans himself back slightly as Eren begins to unbutton his black shirt with unsteady hands, slowly but surely revealing the pale, muscled skin of Levi’s ripped torso and chest. Eren pulls it apart once it’s completely undone to tug it down his arms and off Levi’s body altogether.

Levi uses his fingers to lift Eren’s chin in order to draw him in for another kiss, and takes the time to hold him close against his chest as Eren licks softly into his mouth. Eren can feel every single goosebump across Levi’s bare skin under his fingertips, and he’d be lying if he said that wasn’t a major turn on for him, knowing that Levi is just as excited and nervous as he is in this moment.

But still, Eren doesn’t want to accidentally coax Levi into something he isn’t really ready for.

“Do you want this, Levi?” Eren asks, as he forces himself away from the older man’s kiss.

“I just want you.” Levi answers with an air of certainty in his voice, “You, and only you.”

Eren wants so much in that second to be able to give Levi everything, but ultimately knows that neither of them are quite ready to take that step just yet, so instead he does what he’d been planning to do since he’d gotten those detailed pointers from Hange on how to pleasure a man successfully…and slinks down to his knees at the edge of the bed, right in between Levi’s spread legs.

He looks up into Levi’s face for any hint of hesitation or reluctance, and is pleasantly surprised to see that there is none. Eren tentatively brings his hands up to rest on Levi’s thighs and begins to stroke lightly. Levi stares down at Eren touching him the entire time, his breathing becoming more and more rapid the closer the brunet’s fingers get to caressing him in the place no one else ever has.

“Last chance Levi…” Eren says all of a sudden, “Do you need me to stop?”

Of course he’ll stop if Levi ever asks him to, but he doesn’t want to do anything before he’s absolutely certain that it’s what his boyfriend wants. The last thing Eren wants is to ruin any of the amazing progress they’ve made recently, especially not now Levi is becoming more honest with himself and what his body wants.

“No.” Levi says breathily, shaking his head to affirm his point, “Please don’t stop.”

Eren takes that as all the confirmation he needs, and wastes no time in palming the rather prominent bulge in Levi’s pants, causing the older man to groan out at the contact.

Levi begins biting his own lower lip in order to stay as quiet as possible as Eren strokes him outside his pants, as he’s very conscious that Hange is just in the living room and that he needs to maintain control here so not to embarrass himself, but the friction of Eren’s unbelievably warm hand on his covered erection is so nice that he almost can’t help himself.

“Wow.” Eren breathes out, giving Levi a teasing look from under his eyelashes, “Is this all for me babe? God, you’re so hard.”

“Yes…” Levi moans out lowly, “I can’t help it…not when you look at me like that…”

Eren rubs at Levi even faster when he hears that, internally congratulating himself for not spilling all over the place himself, he’s so unbelievably turned on. He never thought they’d get this far together, but right here and now is like something out of one of his dirtiest fantasies…in fact, if he’s being entirely honest, this is so, so much better.

Because it’s raw, and it’s intense, and so very real.

Levi’s moans and low groans begin spilling out of his mouth unbidden as Eren’s stroking gets faster and harder, and Levi thinks he’s getting close when Eren pulls his hand away entirely. The black haired man almost cries out pitifully at the loss of that wonderful touch, but the sound dies in his throat when he feels Eren begin to undo the button and zip on his pants.

Eren wastes no time at all in reaching into Levi’s black briefs once he’s managed to unfasten everything and Levi throws his head back with a strangled cry when Eren finally wraps his warm hand around his bare cock for the very first time.

“Oh…shit.” Levi moans, his eyes squeezing shut and legs trembling as all of the blood in his body seems to rush to that one specific area all at once, “Eren!”

“That’s it Baby.” Eren coos up at him, as he begins to stroke his hand slowly up and down the length of Levi’s cock, “You like that, don’t you? Fuck, you’re so big…”

It takes all of Levi’s effort to nod his head and not to outright whimper as Eren begins to speed up his strokes, all the while gazing up at Levi’s face with his big, beautiful eyes to drink in all of those little expressions and sounds of pleasure that the older man is trying so desperately to fight. He’s never been touched like this in his life, never had anyone make him feel so good before, it’s all just a bit overwhelming…but it’s a good kind of overwhelming, one that makes him question why he and Eren haven’t been doing this the whole time.

Hindsight really is a wonderful thing, isn’t it?

The effect it has on Eren is torturous, as the brunet’s own lower region is aching and is practically begging to be touched as his erection strains painfully against the tight thong under his skirt. He can’t help himself from rocking slightly against Levi’s leg in order to get even just the smallest amount of relief to keep him grounded and not feel like he’s going to explode on the spot.

“Hah…Eren I…hnnn…I can’t…fuck, it’s too fucking good…”

Levi is beginning to get louder and more incoherent as Eren tightens his hold unconsciously in his own state of arousal, and both of their breaths are starting to come quicker as they hurtle closer and closer to the edge together. Levi’s cock is so lovely and pale, with faint veins running up and down the sides, and a cherry red tip that is leaking pre-cum on every couple of strokes, and it’s all Eren can do not to take it into his watering mouth and suck hard.

But he fears Levi might very well combust if he does that, so instead he decides to improvise, and swallows back some of the saliva that’s managed to build up in his mouth.

“You’re doing so well, Levi.” Eren encourages as he flicks his wrist even faster than before, “Letting me see you like this…allowing me to pleasure you this way, letting me take away all of your stress…you deserve so much Levi, I wish I could give you everything.”

Levi can’t say a single word, his head is too fuzzy, and Eren uses this opportunity to bend down and use his tongue to lick very lightly at the tip of Levi’s penis.

That’s all it takes apparently, as Levi lets out a rather loud whimper and begins cumming all over Eren’s face without any warning at all.

Eren simply takes it in his stride, praising Levi the entire time and continuing to stroke him all through his orgasm. It all proves to be a little much for Eren, however, as almost as soon as Levi is done with his own, the younger man’s own pressing arousal begins pulsating in his underwear and he begins releasing before he can even do anything to stop it.

The sight of Eren on his knees, looking absolutely debauched with ropes of cum decorating his face, lips, chest and even the lenses of his glasses is so pornographic that Levi can barely catch his breath to begin with, and then seeing the wet patch on the front of the younger man’s black skirt is just the nail on the coffin, as Levi can’t help but fall back on to the bed and let his fatigue fully take over.

+++

“Are you going to tell me what’s been bothering you now?” Eren asks from his curled up position on Levi’s chest, much later on once they’re both fully cleaned up and changed into newly washed sweatpants.

Levi simply sighs and continues to run his fingertips up and down Eren’s bare back before answering, “So you’ve noticed that, huh?”

Eren lifts his head up to smile up at the dark haired man, “It’d be a little hard not to notice it babe, you’ve vacuumed me at least twice this week. Are you going to tell me what’s wrong?”

“It’s not…it’s not anything in particular.” Levi says carefully, before amending, “It’s a whole bunch of things. A lot has happened recently, and I think I just find myself losing more and more of my control as things keep changing and there’s nothing I can do to stop them.”

Eren looks thoughtful as he asks, “Like Hange getting cancer again?”

Levi nods, “Yeah, but not just that. It’s…everything, really. Hange, Erwin, Mikasa, Armin, Marco…even You.”

“Me?” Eren asks worriedly, “Is it something I’ve done?”

“No! No, not at all, I didn’t mean it like that, brat.” Levi says gently, pulling Eren closer to his body as he explains, “I just mean with the whole situation. The Titans…we’re nowhere closer to even finding out who they are, never mind what they want.”

Eren softens when he hears this, the tension immediately fading to something a little more fond as he asks, “Levi, are you worried about me?”

“Tch, dumb brat.” Levi complains, quickly adding, “Of course I’m worried about you. There’s a whole fucking group out there somewhere trying to get to you and there’s nothing I can do to stop them. I haven’t even heard anything from Armin for weeks on any of the progress of his investigation, and I’m getting impatient. I know that if he gave me the clearance, I could out there and find them myself, I’d erase them from the world and would be able to protect you properly. Instead I’m stuck here waiting for updates and I’m feeling more and more powerless with every day that goes by. I’m sorry if that frightens you…but you’re so important to me, I can’t help but be afraid that I’m going to lose you. I would do ANYTHING to keep you safe, even if it meant sacrificing myself in the process.”

“Don’t say that Levi!” Eren admonishes, beating his fist into Levi’s chest before following up with, “Do you honestly believe that you can’t protect me? Because I don’t. To be quite honest, i’ve never felt safer in my entire life. There is no doubt in my mind that you can take care of me, you’ve been doing it for this long haven’t you?”

“One of these days I’m bound to make a mistake.” Levi says sadly, “I’m so sure that one day i’m going to miss something important and it’s going to have dire consequences…just like before.”

“That’s just your fear talking!” Eren re-assures him, “Your fear and your self-sacrifice! You’re happy again for once in your life and now you’re becoming afraid that something is going to come by and ruin it. I know that you wish there was more you could do for Hange and that you want to make sure Mikasa is managing her pregnancy while she’s alone, but you have to remember, Hange isn’t going anywhere any time soon, and she wants us to be as normal as we can with her for as long as we are able to, and Mikasa won’t be by herself for very long, not to mention the fact that she’s one of the strongest people I know. You don’t have to take care of everyone…but most importantly, you have to remember that I can take care of you too.”

Levi says nothing for a few moments, but several seconds later he begins to give Eren one of his rare smiles and uses the fingers of one hand to stroke Eren’s face before leaning down to give him a quick, chaste kiss.

“i know you can, Eren.” Levi says certainly, “I love you.”

Eren returns the smile and kisses him back just as quickly, “I know you do old man, I’m a catch after all.”

“Cheeky brat.” Levi complains, although with no real bite.

“Love you too, Levi. I’ve missed you.”

Levi kisses him on the forehead once again as he as assures him, “I’m sorry. I won’t go anywhere again…not without you, at least.”