Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

When Frisk fell into Mount Ebott, they expected to die. Not to land in a bed of flowers ringed by graves growing in a cavern whose purple walls were lit by ominous torches, and get up unharmed. Least of all, to continue through an ornate archway and spy a vine that hung from the low ceiling that bore a many-petaled, golden yellow, flower--with a face.

It was a nice enough face; Frisk supposed they didn’t meet a wide range. The eyes were vertical slits, and the mouth a simple caricature of a grin, and all other features save a soft blush in its cheeks were missing, giving it the appearance of some kind of emoticon.

“Greetings. I am Belladonna… Belladonna the Flower. You are new here, are you not?”

Frisk signed a nervous “Yes,” and wondered how Belladonna spoke without moving its face.

“Then I suppose you will need an introduction. I will provide one.”

Frisk suddenly lost all awareness of their body as they saw a red heart float in the air in front of them, with a white box around it.

“This is your SOUL… the culmination of your being. It grows in strength when you gain LV. This, of course, refers to LOVE, which I assume you desire. LOVE is shared through manifestations of magic. If you merely do not move your SOUL, I will give you some.”

Five white orbs appeared in midair, arced around Belladonna’s bloom. They moved towards Frisk’s SOUL with a sense of urgency which confused them. As they hit, Frisk felt wounds open on their body, and a voice they had never heard before told them they had only one of twenty HP remaining.

“Finally… a human SOUL. I can barely wait. Ahh, yes… you must be confused. But that is how it ought to be. Confused and dying. After all, in this world, it is kill or be killed. Do not fear. Your SOUL will go to good use. Now… D I E.” The flower’s face dripped with black fluid, rendering it unrecognisable, a horror of leaking eyes and a mouth that seemed to overflow with blood or bile that dripped and burnt the ground. Frisk saw their SOUL surrounded by orbs that they now knew spelled certain death, and though they could move it up, down, left, and right, try as they might, they could not escape. They cowered at the center of the circle.

Then, suddenly, they felt wounds closing on their body and heard the voice inform them they were now at full health. Before them stood a massive, hulking, monster wearing a skull mask and carrying a torch the size of a sapling. “Howdy… are you two busy? I have never met either of you before, and so you must not know… death is my business. Especially the death of a human. Never mind that, though. It is a lovely day, and perhaps you would like to join me for tea? I am Undertaker Asgore, but as I am the only Undertaker in the RUINS, you may call me Undertaker, or Asgore, whatever you wish. Come, little ones. My house is surely a more comfortable place for tea than this cave.” He picked up Belladonna in one hand, its vine detaching from the ceiling and curling around his arm, and Frisk in the other, and made for the exit of the cave.

On the other side of the archway was a purple brick room with one completely open wall that lead onto a river. Bobbing in the river was a jet black punt with an open, empty coffin on the prow. It was tied to an obelisk on the shore, which was painted with skulls and had burning torches affixed to each side. Undertaker Asgore set Belladonna and Frisk on the boat gently before boarding it himself. His massive form made the boat sink slightly, but it did not capsize. “You are welcome to sit in the coffin if you are worried about falling out. I am afraid that I did remove the handrails, as I only ended up tripping over them. Hold tight, I do not want to bury either of you today.” He untied the punt from the obelisk, set the butt end of his gigantic torch into the water, and pushed off. The punt slid away from the shore into the shallow river.

Frisk tapped Asgore’s knee to get his attention and signed to him, “You aren’t going to hurt me, right?”

“No, young one. Not today, and I pray never. There is no wisdom in letting one person make judgement, carry out the execution, and provide for the SOUL. One can do at most two.”

Frisk had to think about that. “You’re a judge?”

Asgore shook his head sadly.

Belladonna scoffed, twined around a spare pole propped against the coffin. “Undertaker, with the greatest respect, if you left the SOULs, they would go where they belong without you. You could focus on the other actions.”

“Now, now. Every SOUL deserves to be treated with honor and care.”

The flower shook its head. (Bloom?) “But what are you going to do when you run out of room for the burials?”

“Truthfully, little one, I do not know. But since it is largely only humans who are interred, I hope I will not learn.”

“I am not little! I have persisted for aeons unchanged!”

Frisk grinned. “I think Asgore is referring to the fact that you fit in his palm.”

The flower flung an orb of magic at them. <<HP 19/20>>

“Do not quarrel, little ones,” Asgore said, placing one massive paw between them and sliding Belladonna away from them. “We are nearly at my home. Why not discuss your quarrels over tea?”

“We do not know each other. The only quarrel between us is that a maximum of one of us can have a SOUL at one time, and I had to pick a live option for the reason that you keep SENDING THE SOULS ONWARDS WHERE I CANNOT TAKE THEM!” Belladonna’s face turned suddenly into a photorealistic skull with eye sockets that dripped black blood.

“Golly, why did you not tell me, little one? I mean, I cannot allow you to absorb a human SOUL, and you likely cannot absorb a monster SOUL, but surely I could contact this fellow I know. He is an excellent scientist, perhaps he could…”

“SILENCE. You may be a boss monster, but your lies do you neither honor nor good. You are not above consequences, Undertaker. And I am NOT above inflicting them on you.”

Asgore gently scooped up the flower and set it on the shore. “Threaten me again and I will sprinkle your dust on the flames.”

“Go to hell, ASGORE DREEMURR.”

Asgore merely shook his head and pushed off, propelling them further down the river. “I am sorry you had to witness that. Now, if our floral friend is uninvited, would you like me to prepare golden flower tea? I had been planning to make a synthetic tea, but the golden flower blend is much better in my opinion. I prepare the flowers myself. It is my… other… responsibility.” Behind the skull mask, his eyes were large and sad, with russet brown pupils. They wondered why they felt the urge to hold his gaze--normally they hated making eye contact.

Frisk nodded an answer to his question. He seemed like an agreeable sort of person, almost fatherly? But as the RUINS sped by along the river, Frisk saw grave after grave after grave. If it was mostly humans who he interred, then why were there so many graves? They gave up counting after fifty or so, but the ride continued for several minutes afterwards. They tapped him on the knee again. “Do you know how many graves are there, about?”

“Yes, dear one. There are approximately seven hundred graves scattered throughout the RUINS. I dig one or two every few months. Most of them are for humans who died in their falls into the Underground, or soon after.”

Asgore tied the punt up to another obelisk on the banks, this one rising out of a square of vines with golden flowers much like Belladonna, which rambled across the ground and up onto the wall next to the obelisk. It was inscribed with the phrase “Memento Mori”, which Frisk’s new headmate translated with fear in his voice. Remember you will die. As Frisk was getting out of the punt, they saw a small shrine set into the far side of the obelisk. Just big enough for a plastic dagger with a faded ribbon tied around the handle. Around the shrine was painted an orange heart shape, and in that heart was inscribed something that Frisk didn’t have time to read before Asgore picked them up again.

“Here, it is not much, but you may make yourself at home. I always have a room open for any human who falls, and you may sleep there if you wish, or join me in the living room. I will prepare the tea.” He carried them over to the house on the other side of the cavernous room. It was a cozy little place, with flowers growing outside it.

In the yard, a yellow light flashed and Frisk rushed over to investigate it. The voice in their head cleared his throat (they suddenly felt sure he was a he, though they didn’t know why) and spoke to them. <<Asgore, the mysterious Undertaker, is now your protector. The power of a cozy home shines within you. ❤️Determination/Magic? File Saved.>>

“Young one? Come in quickly, please. I do not want you to draw the attention of our neighbors.”

Chapter Text

Frisk got to their feet quickly and rushed into the house. It was a cozy house, with wood furniture and a crackling fire in the fireplace, not at all what one would expect from the gloomy, morbid, Asgore. He took them by the hand, careful not to crush their fingers, and led them down a hallway to their right.

“This is the human guest room. I am afraid that I do not have any toys, although you are welcome to use my woodworking tools. Just be careful with them.”

Frisk looked at him. Even the voice in their head was speechless.

“Oh dear. The tea kettle is whistling. Do make yourself at home, little one.”

Frisk opened the door. The room had one bed, with striped covers, just the size for a kid of about thirteen like them. A handful of woodworking tools were scattered on a bench--it seemed that whoever was in here last had half-finished making a wooden bust of a child with long, messy, bangs and brutal scars across their face, the worst of which were two deep pits gouged where their eyes ought to be that seemed to be carved as if with acid that had dripped out of the sockets and burned into their cheeks. They tried to theorise about the work, but nothing felt right or even plausible, and the more they looked at it the more they felt the hairs on the back of their neck rise. Moving on, they looked at the bed.

<<What a comfortable bed. If you lay down long enough, you could die there.>>

Frisk jumped.

<<Hee-hee, I’m just teasing you. I don’t think anyone’s died in that bed.>>

There was a bookshelf with a few beat up old books. <<None of them are that good.>>

Frisk frowned and signed, “How do you know?”

<<Nunya.>>

They moved their attention on to some of the wooden trinkets on the shelf. There were a couple sets of candlesticks, painted with lacquer, and a handful of tiny statues. Someone had made a bookend that looked like the obelisk from the first purple cavern, and there was a bowl with a handful of old coins in it.

<<You won’t need those. Feel free to leave a quarter if you have one, though. He collects surface coins.>>

Frisk dutifully put an Iowa quarter in the bowl.

<<Iowa, huh? Isn’t that where potatoes are from?>>

“Idaho,” they signed.

<<Funny, you don’t look like a hoe! Hee-hee!>>

Frisk giggled as well, then clapped both hands over their mouth as they heard Asgore tromp down the hall.

“Howdy, little one. Are you alright? Would you like to come out and drink your tea before it gets cold?”

“Sure,” they signed, turning away from the bookshelf and following Asgore into the dining room. He poured them a cup of golden flower tea, and they sipped it gently. It was good, and just warm enough and not too hot.

“It is good to have you here. It is a pity I am not prepared for a child, but the last one who fell must have been twenty-five or thirty years ago. But do not worry. You are welcome to study as my apprentice, or to play with any other children in the RUINS as long as you stay near to home, and I am capable enough of creating clothing for you as you grow. You need not want for anything while you live here. Simply do not cause any violence, and I am certain no one will harm you. In the RUINS there is very little hatred of humans, because all are equal in death.”

Just when Frisk was thinking that maybe Asgore wasn’t as weird as he seemed, he made comments like that.

“Ho ho ho! Do not worry, little one. It will likely be a long time before I must lay you to rest. Of the humans I have known, I have lain to rest only twelve before their time. I merely live much longer than humans, so I am well used to your deaths. But come, are you finished with your tea? Let me show you my other loves--the flowers.”

Frisk allowed Asgore to take their teacup and sat in contemplation. <<He’s probably just not used to company.>>

<<No shit, sherlock.>>

<<Come on, his flowers are super nice.>>

Asgore returned, carrying a box that was easily the size of Frisk. “All set! Let us reconvene in the garden.”  He and Frisk walked out his front door and he set the box gently on the path. Frisk noted that the light was still in the tulip bed, although it looked like something that ought to only appear for a few seconds before burning itself out. “Here you are, my child. The tools of the trade.” He set in front of them a much more reasonably sized box, and they opened it to see garden tools--trowels, shears, loppers, twine, a hoe (the voice laughed), a hand rake, and even a small knife, all slightly translucent and glowing red.

<<Gardening tools. He must’ve made them for you.>>

Frisk caught Asgore’s attention. “Thank you, but can I ask you why they’re glowing? Are they safe to touch?”

“Oh yes, perfectly safe. They are made out of a stable magic, designed for creating durable constructs. Since metal is rare in the RUINS, I use my own magic. They are safe for humans; in fact, you cannot even cut yourself on the knife. Now, if you would like to begin, I will show you how to transplant echo flowers…”

Frisk spent the whole afternoon into the late evening working and playing in the flower garden. When they worked, they did it with a studious air, eager to please yet shy, and they did not begin anything without finishing it. When they played, they leaned on a stick so they could walk quickly and joyously through the massive garden, and they signed to themself with their free hand. Unbeknownst to any watcher, they were playing pretend with the kid in their head, who wanted to play superheros and had some definitive ideas about what his powers would be.

<<What kind of superhero do you want to be?>>

<<... I don’t think I could. What kind of superhero is nonverbal and walks with a limp? Not to mention Autistic.>>

<<A super cool one, I think! You just need a name, like, uh, The UTTER DEITY OF ULTRAMORTALITY!!>>

<<... I’m gonna be, uh, Stickdude! Defender of Kids Everywhere!>>

When Asgore made them come in for dinner, they were smeared with mud and grinning ear to ear. “What’s for dinner, dad?” they signed.

Underneath his skull mask, they saw his eyes widen. “S--Um, young one, did you intend to call me dad?”

Frisk turned that over in their head. “Sure!”

“Well, if it makes you happy to consider me a father, I will not object. Now, who here enjoys eating snails?”

Frisk signed very cautiously, as if checking that they’d gotten that right. “...Snails?”

“Yes! Have you ever eaten a snail, little one?”

“...Can’t say I have.”

<<I have! They’re pretty good, but C-->>

<<What?>>

<<...>>

“... however, I believe you will grow to enjoy them. I am afraid that I am not much of a cook myself, but my friend who made the snails claims that his escargot recipe is the third greatest in the Underground. I regret that I finished his snail pie this morning. If I had known you would be arriving, young one, I would have saved it for you.”

Frisk shook their head. “Don’t worry, dad. I’m glad you enjoyed it.”

<<Snail pie??>>

A feeling of deep sorrow. <<...>>

<<Ok, don’t talk then. Geez.>>

“Here, small one. Sit at the table, and I will prepare a plate for you. I do not wish to alarm you, and I know my fire magic can be… startling… for humans.”

Frisk hopped up into one of the chairs at the table, leaning their stick against the wall.

<<What’s wrong, man?>>

<<Don’t ask that, please? I’m fine. Just go be with Asgore.>>

<<Asgore’s making snails. We’ve got time.>>

<<I don’t want time. Please, just go wash your hands or something?>>

<<Nah, you’re stuck with me.>>

<<At least *CHECK things so I can focus on providing sarcastic descriptions?>>

<<Why?>>

<<Oh, that’s just what mysterious head voices Do.>>

<<That reminds me, do you have a name I can call you?>>

<<Um…  Heady! Heady the headmate!>>

<<OH MY G-D! YOU MADE THAT UP JUST NOW, DIDN’T YOU?>>

<<...>>

<<That is the DORKIEST thing ever, ‘Heady’!>>

<<Hee-hee, you’re using it, though>>

<<Well, you can’t just not call people what they tell you to call them! Besides, if I embarrass you with it, you might tell me your real name!>>

<<Not a chance, now, I think it’s hilarious. I’m keeping it!>>

<<New superhero duo--Stickdude and Heady! Protecting the Undertaker’s tulips from weirdo flowers!>>

Heady burst into giggles at that, but before Frisk could make him laugh harder, Asgore returned with two plates of escargot. To Frisk’s surprise, the escargot was good, a recipe that had the snails simmered in a spicy red sauce. They devoured them, suddenly starving, and scraped up the sauce with a piece of crusty bread. When they’d finished, they signed “Your friend is a really good cook!”

“Ho ho ho! I am glad you enjoy it. He said he was trying a new recipe, so I will tell him you enjoy it. Now, you are welcome to read the books in the living room, or to do whatever else strikes your fancy, merely stay in the house and garden. I must take my evening walk.”

He brought their plates into the kitchen, then returned wearing his long black hooded cloak. He fastened it with a skull-shaped pin, then reached for his torch, which burst into flame at the tip the instant it was in his hand. He had not taken off his skull mask even to eat, but he turned away and briefly adjusted it so his cowl was pinned under it, at no risk of falling off. Then he walked out the front door, briskly but without purpose.

Immediately, Frisk picked up their stick, adjusted their bandaid, and followed him out, making sure to silence the door’s click so they would go unnoticed.

<<Planning to sneak out is always fun. The power of an adventure ahead shines within you. ❤️Determination/Magic? File Saved.>>

<<What’s that mean?>>

<<... please don’t find out.>>

Chapter Text

Frisk was intrigued, but Asgore was already a ways away. Using their stick to lean on, they walked briskly after him up a path. He walked through several rooms, occasionally stopping to inspect a flowerbed or lay flowers or rocks on a grave. In one place, he placed a hunk of cheese on a table, then bent down to carry a mouse from a hole in the wall to the table so it could eat it. In another, he used his torch to carefully ensure that a path through a field of spikes depressed when pressed. Several times he brought out a paintbrush and a can of purple paint from his inventory and covered up graffiti on the walls. At last, he turned off the path and walked over to a hut about half his height, made of dark brown wood. He knocked gently on the door, and a frog opened it and hopped out.

“Ribbit, ribbit,” <<Hello, ASGORE. Good to see you,>> Heady translated.

“It is good to see you too. Has everything been well with you?”

“Ribbit,” <<Yes. There is no dust here, but thank you for visiting.>>

“I’m glad. I will see you next week, and my door is always open.”

Frisk flattened themself behind a pillar as he passed through, then walked up to the house and knocked.

“Ribbit?” <<Asgore?>> They poked their head out.

“No, my name is Frisk.”

“Ribbit. Ribbit ribbit.” <<I don’t think we’ve met?>>

“I just fell down today.”

“Ribbit? Ribbit. Ribbit ribbit.” <That so? Well, stay away from ASGORE. He’s obsessed with death. And he doesn’t let anyone leave the RUINS, ever. He’ll bury you first.>>

“So I can’t ever go home?”

“Ribbit.” <<No. Sorry, human.>>

“It’s alright,” Frisk lied. “Thank you for telling me.”

“Ribbit ribbit.” <<Good luck.>>

The frog shut the door, and Frisk started to walk away. <<What way did Asgore go? I need to talk to him.>>

<<Frisk…>> They caught the sense of a resigned sigh from him. <<I don’t know. I think we’re going to have to go back the way we came.>>

Frisk nodded, deep in thought. Leaning on the stick, they walked into the room they’d come from. Inside, three dirt paths lined with rocks lead up to a door. Each had two pressure pads in the floor. Next to the entrance was a plaque with an inscription in red. “Those who pass on and those who remain… None can walk the middle road.”

Frisk looked at the ground, then at the plaque, then walked down the left path, using their stick to trip the pressure pads on the right. The door slid open, and Heady congratulated them as they walked through. In the next room, they could see a lever on the wall with something written next to it. “Only the foolhardy seek the end.”

They turned and walked down the path a ways, though they knew the end of the room would be barred by spikes. Near the doorway, there were two switches on the wall. Next to them was written, “The dangerous believe that they should be right.” Frisk thought this over some more, then pulled the first lever and the one on the left, noticing with some interest that the right lever had been jammed by someone putting a large number of leaves in the mechanism.

The next room had nothing in it but a training dummy. Frisk went to leave through the open doorway, but suddenly found the dummy blocking their path.

“HEY! Too intimidated, huh?”

<<What’s that?!?>>

“I am a ghost that lives in a dummy! And it’s my JOB to make sure you understand how to fight!”

Frisk looked at it, dumbfounded. “I’m fine, thanks.”

“You don’t get a choice! Dummy bots, begin the FIGHT!”

Suddenly, everything got dark around Frisk, just like when they had met Belladonna. They saw their SOUL in the air in front of them, contained in a white box and in front of it, the dummy, doing an armless ska dance.

“Monsters enter a FIGHT so they can show other monsters their magic! It’s how we communicate across language barriers and display magical constructs! But. But! BUT! As a human, you can get hurt or even die because of the attacks, because your SOUL stays there, on the bullet board, even if an attack isn’t intended to hit! So make sure to dodge. Dodge! DODGE! It’s the only way you’ll survive!! Here, try it!”

The Dummy Bots, as the dummy had called them, popped up from the floor and launched a ball of sparks at their SOUL, easy to dodge.

“Now it’s your turn. See those four gold rectangles?! They’re things you can do!! The best thing to do in a FIGHT is to talk to the monster using ACT! If you just say the right thing, they won’t want to hurt you, and their AT will drop! Then they’ll be sure to listen if you say you might get hurt, and you can end the fight peacefully! Try it. Try it! TRY IT!”

Hesitantly, Frisk signed “Hi! What’s your name?”

“What. What?! WHAT?! I can’t hear you!! And if you’re signing, I can’t see you! You’ll need to use some magic to make the sign visible. If you don’t know how, it’s easy, just go to ACT, then focus on your intention to talk to me. Try it now! Now!! NOW!!!”

Frisk guided their SOUL to the ACT button and did as they were instructed. They saw a little floating, blinking, vertical line, like a computer cursor, and carefully fingerspelled so that letters showed up in it, then pushed it towards the dummy, seeing the red letters hang suspended in midair until they’d been read.

“Good. Good! GOOD! Now, when you see that my name is yellow, I’m ready to leave if you’ll let me. Then just say or sign “Spare,” and you can go on your way!”

* SPARE

“Excellent. Excellent. EXCELLENT! Good luck out there!”

Frisk stared at the dummy as it flew out of the room, seeming to pass through a totally solid wall in an explosion of cotton. <<...Well, that was something.>>

<<It sure was, huh?>>

Chapter Text

The next room had a puzzle as well--the inscription on the wall said “What comes in our beginnings will prepare us for our ends.” The next room was a bed of spikes, which Frisk remembered crossing with Asgore. Like he had done, they used their stick to depress the spikes in front of them as they felt out their path.

Frisk walked out. The next room was long and completely empty except for a crumbling white pillar on one end and flowers along the walls. On the pillar sat a bowl of candy with a sign that said “Please take one”. They grabbed a piece, looked both ways, then went to grab another.

<<NO!>>

<<Why not? No one’s looking.>>

<<It’s bad to take more than you’re allowed.>>

<<What if I got one for you?>>

<<...Oh, alright. You take another candy. Disgusting.>>

Beyond it, a patch of red flowers bloomed and in the center was another yellow light. They walked up to it and poked curiously.

<<Your pockets full of free candy, you forge ahead. The power of a good tutorial shines within you. ❤️Determination/Magic? File Saved.>>

<<What is that?>>

<<It’s a SAVE point.>>

<<What do they do?>>

<<...>>

<<Alright. Be that way.>> Frisk let the light be and continued into the next room.

A frog jumped out at them, and they squeaked in surprise as their SOUL dropped out of their body, hovering in front of four golden rectangles in the air in front of the frog. <<FROGGIT hops close!>>

<<I’m going to try talking to it! What are the rectangles for?>>

<<It can’t see anything but your SOUL unless you ACT. Put your SOUL up against the ACT rectangle, and it’ll let you project your body to do things.>>

Frisk guided the floating SOUL to the ACT button, and Heady advised that they should start with a simple CHECK spell that he could cast for them. <<This is a Froggit. It has 4 attack, and 5 defense. It’s pretty fast, and it’s not a killer. Its main SOUL trait is perseverance. It wants me to say that life can be difficult for it, so don’t hurt it.>>

The buttons disappeared, and it jumped towards their SOUL, meowing like a cat. Like the dummy had advised them, they moved their SOUL out of the way. The buttons reappeared, and they moved it back to ACT. <<Okay, I know a bunch of projection tricks. I only think two of these will be useful, so you can pick from threatening it or consoling it.>>

<<Let’s try consoling it. That’s a nice thing to do for someone who’s having a tough time of it, right?>>

A red, glowing image of them appeared around their SOUL and spoke red letters into the air. The Froggit looked at them appraisingly. <<I don’t think it knows how to read, but I think it knows we’re trying to help.>>

It launched a handful of sparkling magic flies at their SOUL. <<It’s showing off! Okay, see that little yellow nametag on it that says Froggit? That means we can spare it! Move your SOUL to the MERCY button, okay?>>

Frisk obeyed, and suddenly found their SOUL back in their body as they signed “Spare” with their real hand--not a projection. The Froggit hopped away, blushing, and they set off back towards the house.

When they tried to cross the room they were in, though, the floor cracked beneath them and they tumbled down onto grave dirt. Frustrated, they walked through the door, which turned out to lead to a crawl space that brought them back up to where they’d started. <<Heady!! Why didn’t you warn me?!>>

<<It’s a puzzle, Frisk! Haven’t you seen a puzzle like this before?>>

<<I could’ve died!>>

<<Sorry! If you see a crack in the floor, it might give way. Normally, monsters use magic to cross these, so they’re mostly human traps.>>

<<I was fine before! I didn’t even notice it was cracked!>>

<<ASGORE was using his magic to hold up the floor. That’s how you cross.>>

Frisk, leaning on their stick a little more, grumbled as they walked into the next room. They stopped short. <<HEADY! THE WHOLE ROOM IS CRACKED!>>

<<It’s a puzzle! Stars above, don’t they have puzzles where you come from?>>

Frisk used their stick to knock on the floor in front of them, taking careful steps. The floor fell in front of them most of the time, but occasionally held, and they inched across the room. When they were nearly at the other end, they rushed ahead, but they fell through. They landed on their back in a bed of lambs ear, a few feet from a sign. “Please do not step on the garden beds. -ASGORE”

They clambered out of the flowerbed and saw a creature that was just one big eye with horns and legs. It pulled them into a FIGHT, and Frisk yet again saw their red SOUL. This time, they were ready for the golden buttons and encouraged Heady to cast the CHECK almost as soon as they’d caught their bearings.

<<It’s Loox! 6 attack, 6 defense. Looks like he’s a bit of a bully, but not a real danger. His SOUL trait is patience. He’s from the Eyewalker family. Man, he’s not that much older than you are! He says he’s only picking on people because his big brother wants him too. He wants me to ask you not to pick on him.>>

<<Hahaha! That’s a great name! Loox Eyewalker, get it?>>

<<No? Lots of people’s names reflect what they look like. Hey, watch out for those orbs!>>

<<Orbs, schmorbs. It’s Luke Skywalker, Loox Eyewalker, get it?>>

<<Who’s that? Nevermind, focus! I think we should either pick on him or not, I don’t think he knows where he stands with us.>>

<<Well, I don’t want to pick on him!>>

The red image of them opened its hands and spoke again in red text. Loox’s eye grew still wider, and its posture relaxed. “Finally, someone gets it!”

His name appeared in yellow and Frisk ended the fight after dodging some more flying spheres, and they continued on.

Chapter Text

The next time, when they reached where they’d fell, they avoided where they had seen beds. They crossed into the next room, and set about moving several rocks painted to look like bleached skulls onto buttons.

Asgore’s ambiance had not let up for the whole of their journey--the room contained several graves, a handful of obelisks, and a few pedestals with strange items which looked dearly beloved, which Heady informed them were monster graves. The walls were painted a gloomy deep purple with a trim of skulls and gravestones, and thick vines on the walls supported heavy golden blooms. Flickering torches in sconces on the walls provided the only light.

The third rock complained when they began to move it.

“Hey! Whom do you think you are moving?!”

Frisk dropped their stick in their hurry to sign their apology. “I’m sorry! I thought--”

“Hmph. Puzzlers, always thinking. At least you are not trying to paint me. What is it you need from me?”

“Just move onto the button, ok?”

“I may as well. Safe travels!”

The rock moved onto its button and Frisk collected their stick. They made it most of the way to the pit that separated the two halves of the room when suddenly the bridge slid back into the floor and gouts of orange flame filled the bottom of the trench. They squealed nervously, making big wide signs at the rocks. “Why’d you move?! I could’ve gotten burned!”

“What is that? You wished me to remain in place? Why, you should’ve told me. Do not worry. You can merely shout when you are ready for me to move off the button. Do not make me wait too long, alright?”

The bridge slid back out, the fire disappeared, and Frisk rushed across. They thumped their stick on the ground, but the rock didn’t seem to notice.

<<How do I let it know it can go back?>>

<<... let me help?>>

<<How can you--WHOAH what the--? I can’t feel my mouth?!>>

“You’re all good!” Frisk’s voice was rusty from disuse, but serviceable enough, and they jumped at hearing it for the first time.

The rock slid off the button and back down the path it had worn out for itself. “You were able to talk this whole time?”

Frisk set down the stick, signed “No,” came up at a complete blank for anything at all to say, picked their stick back up, and ran off, face burning. They came up for breath at a room lined with small obelisks, each one containing a tiny shrine filled with mouse bones. Across the room, there was a patch of those golden flower vines blooming around a table, on top of which was several wedges of cheese. Nestled among the obelisks was a SAVE point.

<<Even though the rock tricked you, you made it through the puzzle. The power of safety shines within you. ❤️Determination/Magic? File Saved.>>

<<Heady?>>

<<... oof…>>

<<What was that?>>

<<... not… right now…>>

<<No, I think right now is exactly the time to talk about this!>>

<<r...really… not now… I can’t…>>

<<You USED my MOUTH!>>

Heady seemed frazzled, but explained that since he was sharing their mind, if he tried very hard he could use their body. If it was this hard to just say a few words, though, he doubted that he could take over enough to do anything they didn’t want him to.

Frisk was still irritated. <<Warn me, next time, alright?!>>

<I’ll… try.>>

Mollified, Frisk continued into the next room. It was a thin antechamber packed with theatrical props, and moping in the doorway was a gently glowing purple ghost.

Frisk walked up to them and signed “Hello, can I get around you?”

“I don’t know, darling, can you?”

“May I?”

“Oh, I wasn’t being pedantic, gorgeous. I genuinely was wondering. I tried to possess something for my show, and it’s used up all my energy and now I can’t move.”

“...Oh.” Frisk knelt down next to them and tried to move them. “Can I help?”

“Oh, don’t bother. I’ll just lie here. Oh, Papyrus will be so heartbroken, though, and so will my fans. I’m sure someone will be there this time. Say, darling, maybe you could push me out there and FIGHT with me? It isn’t exactly what I promised, but everyone loves a bit of improv, don’t they?”

Frisk thought about it briefly. “Sure.” Setting down their stick, they pushed hard on the ghost, moving him onto the stage mildly ungracefully. They picked it up, and walked onstage to stand next to him. The “stage” was just a carpet laid out between a few obelisks, and in front of it, something that looked like a carrot with a face was sitting on a grave.

The ghost rolled over and pushed themself into a half-sit, like it was trying to be alluring. “Beauties and gentlebeauties! Er, gentlebeauty! Welcome to the Mettablook show! Today, we welcome a wonderful assistant--put your hands together for this human!”

Neither the carrot or the ghost had hands.

“Well! As you certainly know, a long time ago one of my noble ancestors, Cappablook, took the SOUL of bravery from the RUINS secretly all the way to the queen! Today, we’ll be re-enacting that fight, so hold on to your spells! Human, I, the noble Cappablook, will steal your SOUL for the Queen! Give it up, or I’ll tear it from your body!”

Frisk’s eyes widened as darkness fell and their SOUL became visible.

Heady sounded full of adrenaline--not scared, like Frisk was, but pumped to act in this fight. <<Don’t worry! He can’t take it while you’re still alive, and he doesn’t want to anyway. He just wants to put on a good show.>>

<<How can you TELL?!>>

<<Isn’t it obvious? What should we do?>>

Frisk put their SOUL against the ACT button. <<CHECK him?>>

<<Mettablook is a ghost, so you can’t hurt him even if you try, unless you use magic. His attack is 10, his defense is 10. His main soul trait is individuality, like you. He’s not innocent, but he doesn’t have a very high death count. He’s a thespian, and he loves having a big audience. He says he wants a good show.>>

A blinking warning appeared in Frisk’s vision, and they hurried both body and SOUL out of the way of a huge glowing white axe that descended through the warning zone. Mettablook shouted out. “You may be brave, but I’ll steal your SOUL!”

<<Ok what do we do? What do we do? I don’t wanna get axed, I-->>

<<Focus, Frisk. Are you going to FIGHT, or ACT?>>

Frisk moved their SOUL to the ACT button. <<What are our options?>>

<<We want to play the part of a human, so we can, um, threaten, cower, show off, or flirt.>>

Frisk shut their eyes and picked at random. <<Try threatening him.>>

The red outline of themself shook its stick at Mettablook.

“Fie, foul villain! I’m not scared of you! The queen needs your SOUL to break the barrier!” Little white axes dropped from the ceiling of the room, striking true in Frisk’s SOUL. Their HP dropped, and they started to panic, hands shaking as they looked at the quivering, cracked, red heart that hung in front of them.

<What do we do, what do we do, what-->>

<<Just keep pressing forward, I think. We have a SAVE point in the next room, and I don’t think we can afford to waste the candy, so, um… why not try that again?>>

<<If you’re sure,>> Frisk thought hurriedly, preparing for more axes to mercilessly drop.

This time, the projection made a muscle with one arm and said something in red text.

“Oho! You finally found an equal rival, have you? Well, I won’t be an easy nut to crack, human!”

The warning popped up again, and Frisk tried to jump back, but found their SOUL didn’t move backwards or forwards. The axe hit it, disappearing as Frisk was warned of their HP hitting zero. Their SOUL shook, cracked, and shattered, and darkness rushed in and they knew no more.

They were lying on their back, paralyzed with pain, eyes crusted shut, hearing a high, panicked, voice beg them to hold on, just a little longer, pleading with them to stay determined--and suddenly, they saw two golden buttons hanging in front of them, and heard nothing but a faint chiptune melody.

[[Continue]] [[Reset]]

Chapter Text

They reached up and grabbed the continue button on a whim, and suddenly the darkness cleared and the ambient noise around them returned. They gasped for breath.

<<What the--am I alive, what’s going on--?!>>

<<Frisk, you’re alive, thank the stars!>>

<<What’s going on? I thought I died, but I’m clearly alive, and how’d I get here?>>

Heady thought for a moment. <<Well, we’re here at your SAVE point, so maybe that’s what the continue button does? I feel like that’s not what it’s called… LOAD, that’s it. So you can LOAD, which brings you back to the SAVE point, or RESET, which I guess would start everything over again.>>

<<Let’s NEVER press that button.>>

<<It’s not my choice, Frisk. It’s yours.>>

<<Well, I’m not picking it. I’m going to make the right choice the first time and I’m NOT going to go through everything again, because I don’t want to forget you or Asgore and have to meet you all again.>> Frisk folded their arms.

<<It’s a good philosophy.>>

<<Alright, let’s get this ghost out of our way. But like, without hurting it, because I’m not here to hurt people.>>

Frisk walked up to them again, signing “Hello, can I get around you?”

“I don’t know, darling, can you?”

“May I?”

“Oh, I wasn’t being pedantic, gorgeous. I genuinely was wondering. I tried to possess something for my show, and it’s used up all my energy and now I can’t move.”

“Can I help?”

“Oh, don’t bother. I’ll just lie here. Oh, Papyrus will be so heartbroken, though, and so will my fans. I’m sure someone will be there this time. Say, darling, maybe you could push me out there and FIGHT with me? It isn’t exactly what I promised, but everyone loves a bit of improv, don’t they?”

Just like before, they agreed, and walked out onstage with them.

“Beauties and gentlebeauties! Er, gentlebeauty! Welcome to the Mettablook show! Today, we welcome a wonderful assistant--put your hands together for this human!”

Neither the carrot or the ghost had hands this time either.

“Well! As you certainly know, a long time ago one of my noble ancestors, Cappablook, took the SOUL of bravery from the RUINS secretly all the way to the queen! Today, we’ll be re-enacting that fight, so hold on to your spells! Human, I, the noble Cappablook, will steal your SOUL for the Queen! Give it up, or I’ll tear it from your body!”

<<Alright, threatening seemed to work.>>

“You may be brave, but I’ll steal your SOUL!” They dodged the warning, moving to the left as the axe dropped instead of trying to move forward or backward, which it seemed was impossible.

<<Again! Let’s make this a good show!>> The red outline of themself shook its stick at Mettablook.

“Fie, foul villain! I’m not scared of you! The queen needs your SOUL to break the barrier!”

This time, they were ready for the spinning, falling, axes, and took only three damage. Although their heart pounded for fear of being injured further, Frisk moved their SOUL bravely back to the ACT button. <<Threaten again!>>

The red outline made a fist. It pointed at its eyes, then at the ghost.

“And with that, it’s time for our intermission! Happy union regulated breaktime, gorgeous!”

Around Frisk’s SOUL, the words “Happy Breaktime!” appeared in an ornate, faux-medieval font. They moved the SOUL in every direction they could to get a feel for the way it moved, but before they’d gotten as much of a break as they’d wanted, the words disappeared and their buttons reappeared.

<<So should we show off, for the return from the break?>>

<<...Alright! Help me out by giving me a flourish of your stick? This projection spell works better when it’s projecting something like a motion of your real body, even though it can’t be seen.>>

Frisk spun the stick in their hand like a toy and pointed it, lunging in a way that was all the more impressive for the fact that they’d done it without leaving any weight on their weak leg. The red outline copied their motion, and as their stick reached its zenith at Mettablook’s neck, a shower of red spikes cascaded from it. They barked a laugh, as if trying to be evil.

Mettablook knocked the stick out of the projection-Frisk’s hand, and their own stick dropped from theirs to clatter beside it. They yelped indignantly, grabbing the wall for support and barely managed to get their SOUL out of the way of the magic attack. “Haha! Your strength is no match for the might of monsterkind!”

<<Oh no! I need a prop if I want to threaten or show off successfully, so we can’t pick those!>>

Frisk gulped. <<We need to get out of this FIGHT. Flirt with him, he’ll be more gentle.>>

<<Okay-->>

Heady seemed upset, but he focused on projecting the brilliant image of a Frisk that locked eyes with the ghost, winked, and said a red-text pickup line. The image thrust a thumb through its belt-loops and grinned at it as if expecting a response.

“Oh! Fiendish fate! You, a human, fell in love with a ghost sworn to kill you and in showing me such love, have made me fall for you! I will spare your life while I beg for the Queen to spare your SOUL, though if she orders it I must kill you. Alas, for we are so star-crossed! I cannot truly spare you how I wish I could!” Mettablook threw his head back and emoted at the heavens, his name coming up yellow, and they spared him quickly. Frisk noted as the FIGHT ended that they had attracted a small crowd of monsters, including some froggits, a little possy of loox, a knot of some ragged moth-looking monsters and a beet and turnip next to the carrot.

“Well, darling! This has been lovely! Thank you for joining me up here today, this has really revitalized my act!” Mettablook took a bow, and then gestured for Frisk to do the same. They reclaimed their stick and bowed, and then they bowed together with Mettablook. “Well, that’s all for now, but keep your eyes on my stage! More programs forthcoming!”

And with that, he phased through a wall and was gone. The crowd ran up to Frisk excitedly.

“Ribbit! Ribbit!” <<Can I get your autograph?>>

One of the moths came up to the edge of the stage. Frisk could see them shivering with nervous excitement. “W-where’d you learn to act like a human?”

“I t-think they’re a real human, suns.”

“Yeah, did you s-see that SOUL?”

“Ribbit!” <<You were so scary!>>

“That was such amazing magic! You really brought that fight to life!”

The beet pushed its head out of the ground at the edge of the stairs. “Are you local talent?”

“Finally, someone who can spice up Mettablook’s act!”

“Aw, man, I’m so sorry I tried to pick on you  I didn’t know you were an actor… actress… um, actrix? Hey, gosp, how do you tell humans apart?”

“How are you so cool if you’re a single-minder? And do you mind telling my friend what he can call you?”

“Ribbit!”

Frisk’s eyes got wide as they were mobbed. They’d never been popular before, and never dreamed of being an actrix as a nonverbal disabled kid, but they suddenly wanted to turn that big stage into their home. They brought their hands out and flapped them happily, then signed out “Thank you all, thank you so much! You can use they/them pronouns and neutral language for me, please. And yes, I really am a human.”

The moth who had approached them first flapped its own hands and jumped up and down. “Whimmy, whimmy, whimmy they’re like me! They do the--!!” It made two emphatic flaps. “MM!! MHM!! Yeah!”

Their friend smiled at them happily and nodded, eyes bright.

Frisk felt a blush touch their cheeks, and they flapped their hands faster in reply. They’d made a friend! An Autistic friend! On the stage! <<Heady, this is great!>>

<<I’m proud of you! You handled that really well.>>

<<Only with your help! They really liked the magic, and that was all you.>>

<<Well, except for the showing off. How do you do that with your leg?>>

<<Practice. When I want to show off, you can be sure I’m always planning how to look like I’m using my leg without ever putting weight on it.>>

They let the crowd’s happiness and excitement wash over them. They’d already garnered an invite to the RUINS’ monster school for the next day, and were planning to attend, and they’d signed as many autographs as they had paper or rocks to sign on. Eventually, though, most of them had to head home, receiving texts that the Undertaker was out that night and it was best they didn’t stay out too late.

Chapter Text

Frisk headed onwards then, stopping in at a doggy bake sale to spend a handful of gold coins they’d found in their pockets mysteriously. Their headmate assured them that this was normal--monsters exchanged gold coins as a sign of gratitude, as each coin was magically re-stamped in the giving to reflect why it was given and so made an excellent thank-you gift. Apparently most of the monsters at the stage had given them one, and the monsters they’d met and fought with had as well. They worried that they didn’t have the ability to give them back, but he told them not to worry--as long as those coins went back to monster shops, no one would be any the poorer for it, especially when they only were getting three or five G at a time. They pulled out the ones they had still and looked at them quizzically, finding most of them stamped with the image of a human brandishing a stick surrounded by stars, but one stamped with the moth creature and them flapping their hands together, and two stamped with a smiling froggit with jumbled text over it.

They put the new Bone Treat (a crunchy bone-shaped treat that was apparently made with real bone) and the Lesser Bone, which looked like a bone but tasted like sugar when they licked it tentatively, into their inventory with more than a little bit of trepidation.

They forged on into the next room, encountering a small clump of froggits. They swarmed Frisk as soon as they saw them, starting a FIGHT, but Frisk quickly cottoned on to their attention-hogging ways and payed each one a compliment before sparing them, whereupon they all began to talk at once about how lucky they were to have gotten a compliment from the famous human actrix, and Frisk slipped through into the next room.

Here, six cracks in the ground opened in front of six marble statues, each of a human in a child’s striped shirt. One, a pigtailed kid in a collared shirt, leaned against the wall, writing in a notebook, with thick glasses covering eyes painted yellow in both iris and pupil. Another stood tall and strong, with a bandanna tied around their neck and winter gloves on their hands, cyan eyes half-shut behind monolids that resembled Frisk’s own. A third wore a child’s Halloween costume, with stripes on the arms of a sheriff’s outfit complete with a cowboy hat that sat jauntily on their head, and a revolver holstered on their leg--their eyes were painted a rich purple. The fourth sat in a wheelchair, gripping a knife with their hair tied back in a ribbon--their eyes were painted a flaming orange and seemed to track Frisk’s own with a proud glare. The next wore a leotard and tutu, and had a pretty, soft face with eager green eyes that watched the last statue as they extended a leg in a graceful tondu . The child they watched was only half as old as Frisk at their best guess, and sat crosslegged in an apron, frying pan out as if it were held over a fire, and watched with soft indigo eyes. Over the spikes that blocked the exit was written “IN MEMORIAM” in a large and ornate hand they knew could only be Asgore’s.

Frisk inspected each statue carefully, avoiding the cracks. The children in the tutu and apron seemed to be later additions, judging by the ivy, so they ruled them out as having the answer they sought. Heady had informed them that there would likely only be one switch, and they would have to press it by dropping through the cracks as they had no magic to feel beneath the earth with.

They considered the colors of the statues eyes next. Justice yellow, patience cyan, perseverance purple, bravery orange, integrity indigo, and kindness green--all shades Frisk knew well, from studying SOULs in religious school at their youth hostel. The only color that was missing was individuality red, the color of their own SOUL. They shivered. If they died, would Asgore make a statue of them? They could imagine it, leaning on their stick, one hand out to sign something morbid, their eyes red as fresh blood not just in the iris but in sclera and pupil as well, the bandaid forever peeling on their face just hidden under the edge of their messy undercut.

<<C’mon, Frisk. You’re not gonna die for a long while, I hope.>>

<<...yeah. Just can’t help thinking about it. Hey, are any of those kids you?>>

<<Nope, I’ve never even met them. Mettablook said the bravery kid got their SOUL taken in the RUINS, though. That’s probably why Asgore’s so paranoid about the SOULs.>>

<<Oh! Do you think that’s the answer, then? The bravery human?>>

<<Hm… worth a shot, I guess.>>

Frisk marched proudly up to the statue in the wheelchair and let the ground break under them. They dropped a short way into a little room with a torch illuminating a switch capped with a tiny skull. They threw the switch, then clambered back up through the crawl space into the room above. The spikes had retracted, and Frisk quickly walked out the door, preferring not to spend another second in that room. They could still feel those orange eyes on their spine, and hear the way Heady had said <<*Memento Mori. *(Remember you will die.)>> as if it was both a translation and an injunction, back at the obelisk.

The next puzzle was easily solvable by brute force, but the monsters of the RUINS were drawn to a human who was struggling with it and often had to be talked out of a fight. Thankfully, it was mostly easy--the moth monsters, called whimsuns, could be spared right away, as could the shy little spiders that spooked Heady when they crawled out of the walls, the froggits loved compliments, loox and co just wanted reassurance that they wouldn’t be picked on, migosp needed for them to send its friends off and sit it down for a talk, and the vegetable monsters called vegetoids wanted them to have a snack as they went. They felt powerful, actually, helping out the monsters as they walked up to each button in turn.

By the end of the puzzle, their leg ached, and they were willing to put up with the only slightly more cheerful demeanor of Asgore’s house to get out of the spooky graveyard and into a warm bed. They rushed up to the SAVE point in the tulip patch eagerly, acutely feeling the loss of most of their HP and the stress of how close they were to hitting zero.

<<After your long quest through the ruins, you are finally home. The power of a warm bed to return to shines within you. ❤️Determination/Magic? File Saved.>>

<<Heady! My HP is back!>>

<<Oh, it seems those do that for you! That’s good. Hey, can I show you something?>>

<<Sure, but then I’m going to bed, okay?>>

<<After your long quest through the ruins, you are finally home. The power of a warm bed to return to shines within you. Determination/❤️Magic? Magic bonus: DF up until next SAVE!>>

Frisk looked down at their hands around the light, intrigued. <<What’s that?>>

<<I can give you a little random magic help, if you invoke it! It might go a little wrong, though, so it’s a bit of a gamble. I can only do one per SAVE point, though, so hang onto them if you think you’re gonna get in a big FIGHT.>>

<<How’d you know all that?>>

<<I dunno. Maybe I accidentally CHECKed one of them?>>

<<Okay! C’mon, let’s get in bed before Asgore comes back.>>

They hurried into the bed, and Frisk was so tired they were asleep almost before their head hit the pillow.

They dreamed that their mouth burned with pain as blood pooled in it, and their feverish eyes were covered with a cool compress. Their stomach burned with lancing pain, and they knew instinctively they were ill and close to death.

They heard a warm, motherly voice calling out through tears. “No! My child, please, stay with us. Stay determined, my child, please, do not let this end now!”

They heard a deep, sorrowful voice, that seemed just as low as Asgore’s but lacked his rough tone like he had just finished wailing until his throat burned like theirs did now. “Please… stay determined. You are the prince of this world’s future!”

They heard a young, soft voice touched with the slightest of accents. “Please, wake up. You perish too quickly. I am not ready. Please, dear brother, you must awaken.”

They bolted awake, eyes flying open and meeting the deep gouges in the unfinished bust that seemed to be watching them. Panicked instinct rose in them and they rushed across the room, limping on their weak leg, and threw the bust to the floor before they even knew what was happening. It did not crack, merely watching them accusingly from the floor of the room.

A flinch rocked their whole body, and they grabbed their left hand and curled around it, shutting their eyes against the deep abysses that watched them. Heady spoke nonsense in their head, something about a belt or a welt and a sibling and cuts and demons and promising to come back. In turn, Frisk just whimpered, curling tight, all understanding of speech gone from their brain as they shook on the floor.

They stayed that way until their meltdown turned to a shutdown and dragged them into mercifully dreamless sleep.

Chapter Text

In the morning, Asgore found them curled on the floor, the bust kicked under their dresser. He awakened them gently, and brought them their stick so they could rise.

“Do you, er, dislike beds, little one?”

Frisk paused so they could sign. “Had a bad meltdown. Fell asleep where I shutdown. Not a problem now. Tomorrow I’ll sleep in the bed probably.”

“Alright. How does toast and butter sound for breakfast?”

Frisk nodded and tried to put the night behind them. Today they’d go to school! They had about an hour and a half before the school started according to the monsters they’d met, and they’d committed the directions to memory carefully.

They wanted to try asking permission first. “Dad, are you going to have me go to school?”

“Hm? Oh, um. Well, I was actually wondering if I could take you on as an apprentice. Less danger that way. These RUINS are small, but for a young one unaccompanied they can be dangerous.”

Frisk bit down on the urge to tell him where they’d been last night. “Maybe. Can I go outside and play for a while?”

“Certainly, little one. Stay in this area, alright? It is not safe to wander the RUINS alone.” They pouted, but he frowned at them. “Please understand I have good reason for these rules.”

“Why?”

“Little children should not fixate on the horrors of an old man’s past. Go out and play, young one. I’ll be in here, I have work to be done. This reminds me--how are burials done in your culture?”

Frisk was not fooled by the impersonality of the question, and signed back bluntly, “A very simple pine box, cut the fringes off my clothes, and a simple headstone. Light a candle for me for eleven months minus one day, and there’s a prayer you can say called the Kaddish Yatom.”

“Excellent. You are a very practical child, and I appreciate that. Here, let me give you a CELL PHONE. I know you cannot speak, but it is a ‘video phone’ that will let you send me your image.” He handed them a phone that looked different from any they’d ever seen. There was a camera at the top, a video screen, and a touch screen on a hinged bottom. It looked sort of like a Nintendo DS, like they’d seen kids at public school play on. They opened it, and the top screen lit up, showing a white design on a purple field. Then the bottom screen lit up, with a list of contacts that contained only “Undertaker ASGORE”, and the top showed a little phone icon.

They tapped it, on a whim, and Asgore pulled out his own phone and answered it. The ringtone was a jazzy chiptune melody, and when he opened it, a video of him appeared on their screen. They set it on the table so they could sign. “Hi dad! Check out my new phone!”

“Ho ho ho, you are two feet away from me! Why call me?”

“Just to say hi!” Giggling, they hit the “End call” button and hung up the phone, putting it in their pocket. “Alright, I’m going out to play. See you around lunchtime!”

Frisk ran out holding their stick. They SAVED again, then raced towards the school. They ran out to the ledge overlooking the city, then hung by their hands and dropped carefully into the streets. Most of the city was long deserted, but they followed the signs in the streets to the school. It was in a burned-out old office building, with the design from their phone spray-painted on the door. It was a winged circle over three downward-pointing triangles.

They knocked gently on the door.

An elderly-looking Whimsun opened the door with a creak. “Hello?”

“I’m the human? I was invited over by some monsters yesterday, I don’t know if you’ve heard ab--”

“Oh my! Well, you’re certainly welcome to come on in. Why not sit in with, say, the seventh graders today?”

Frisk nodded happily and signed their assent, letting the Whimsun bring them into the old building and to the seventh grade class. They sat on the floor, like the students, crosslegged and raptly attentive. The teacher was a froggit who looked a few decades older than the ones they’d met yesterday. They were just finishing a math class as Frisk entered, and a Loox offered them a seat next to him and, when history class began, let them share his textbook.

Today’s history lesson was on the history of the RUINS. “Ribbit, ribbit ribbit. Ribbit, ribbit. Ribbit ribbit, ribbit.” <<Fearing the humans no longer, we left the RUINS as our population grew. The RUINS fell into disrepair and were long uninhabited, but when Undertaker Asgore was exiled to the RUINS, he brought his followers with him. These followers were our ancestors, and the majority of them were trapped inside the RUINS when Undertaker Asgore decreed that no one could enter or leave the RUINS.>>

A whimsum raised its hand. “H-how did Cappablook take the bravery SOUL, then?”

“Ribbit! Ribbit, ribbit ribbit. Ribbit?” <<An excellent question! Not only was that before the RUINS were properly sealed, but ghosts are able to travel through walls and therefore largely disregard the degree. Remember how we talked about incorporeality in science class?>>

The class nodded.

“Ribbit, ribbit ribbit ribbit. Ribbit, ribbit?” <<Well, even though ghosts are largely indigenous to Waterfall, there are two ghosts who frequent the RUINS. I’m sure you all have met Mad Dummy, who lives by the river, and Mettablook, who comes and goes on his performance schedule. Why don’t you all take out your notebooks and respond to the question, “Why might a ghost decide to live in the RUINS?”>>

Frisk took this opportunity to look through the textbook, stopping at the sight of a drawing of Mount Ebott surrounded by an orb of rainbow light. The caption read “Although the Barrier cannot be seen from the outside, it can only be escaped by a powerful SOUL, trapping monsters underground until a power equivalent to seven human SOULs is used to break it. The Queen is currently trying to collect these seven SOULS; sources believe she currently has six.”

Frisk frowned. <<Why would Asgore bury all those SOULs then?>>

<<You could ask him,>> their headmate responded, which wasn’t an answer.

<<NO! He’d be mad!>>

<<I think he’d be excited to tell you about it. He wanted you to be his apprentice, after all.>>

<<I don’t wanna be his stinky apprentice! I-->> Frisk raised their hand, realising they didn’t want to have this conversation in class.

“Ribbit?” <<What do you need, human?>>

“Can I go to the bathroom?”

“ Ribbit ?” <<The what ?>>

“The bathroom? I need to… pee?”

“Ribbit??” <<To what?>>

“Pee? Urinate? Take a leak? See, humans have to… eliminate, well, liquid waste from our bodies? So, I have to, go. Do that. Now.”

Froggit looked dazed. “Ribbit…” <<Go… do that… then…>>

Frisk grabbed their stick and raced out of the building, guessing correctly that it wouldn’t have a bathroom to sequester themself in. They crossed the street and sat on their haunches in the front hall of an abandoned building, stick laid on their lap. <<I don’t want to be Asgore’s apprentice. He’s creepy.>>

Heady’s voice carried the sense of a shake of the head. <<He doesn’t mean any harm. He’d never hurt you.>>

<<He said it himself! He’s an executioner, not just an undertaker.>>

<<He also said he’d never pass the judgement of who needs to die. I bet he’s just punishing those who are clearly breaking his decree by trying to leave. So if we just don’t leave, it’ll all be okay.>>

<<I want to leave! I have to have my b’nei mitzvah, the hostel folks are going to miss me, I don’t want to live in the freaking death city where I’m the only human and I’m living with the creepy undertaker!>>

Heady was taken aback. <<But… why did you climb Mount Ebott, then? If you wanted to go back…>>

<<I run away a lot. When I’m… scared. When I need space. Like I just did. We were camping in the park, for Lag B’Omer. It… it got bad. I ran away. Out of the park. Up the mountain. When I fell, I was certain it was the end of me. But if it’s not, I wanna go home! And if I can get out, I can work to help the monsters from where there’s lots of human SOULs.>>

<<The barrier will-->>

Frisk cut him off. <<Only if I don’t have a powerful SOUL, and my SOUL is pretty powerful, right? Since it’s human? And even if I can’t get through on my own, adding my SOUL will be enough to break it! Come on, all these monsters deserve to be free, right?>>

He sighed, seeming to clamp down on the first several thoughts.. <<...Well, I could, um, help you try to get out. I think I know a way he won’t have blocked. It’s in the basement of his home.>>

<<Okay…>>

<<Just, take that knife and ribbon you saw in his front yard, okay? If things go south, I don’t want you to…>> Frisk caught the edge of a strange almost-memory of being alone, weaponless and unarmored, once, terrified and unwilling but fighting back against an assailant. Their back ached sympathetically as if it had been hit with a baseball bat.

They got to their feet, picking up their stick. <<Alright. But I’m not going to hurt him, alright?>>

He seemed relieved. <<Of course not! The knife is plastic, it won’t do much damage. It just goes with the ribbon, you know?>>

Frisk picked their way out of the ruined city and clambered back up on the ledge to get home. They made their way back to Asgore’s house, humming grimly under their breath to break the silence.

They took the knife and ribbon, putting both into their inventory. Both were dusty--the ribbon was a faded red-orange, and the knife was made of heavy plastic, carefully painted.

<<SAVE, please.>> Heady said, quietly.  <<The power of your upcoming mission to break the barrier shines within you. ❤️Determination/Magic? File Saved.>>

Chapter Text

<<...>> Frisk looked at the SAVE point. <<...I don’t know.>>

<<Frisk?>>

<<It’s a lot. I… I don’t want to hurt him. I just want to go home. I don’t know what to think.>>

They walked silently into the house. On the table, they saw a steaming cup of tea sitting on a note, and walked silently over to it. The note was written in a large, ornate, script, in deep purple ink that was still almost wet.

“Young one,

I noticed you were not in the yard. I am not mad at you; you have your phone, and the monsters of the RUINS are mostly kind. I must assume, however, that you are seeking a way out. Little one, I cannot allow you to do so. To be caught trying to leave is certain death, according to the law. Please, little one, do not make me bury you. I know it is not what you are accustomed to, but surely it is better to live with me than to be buried young?

I hope you enjoy the tea--the cup is charmed so it will not grow cold. If you are hungry, please investigate the fridge; I particularly recommend the black bread with the escargot from last night. I will be in my room, working on your coffin. Please feel free to alert me should you need anything.

With love,

Undertaker ASGORE.”

They put the tea into their inventory and walked into the kitchen silently. They took out the black bread and consumed several slices standing up without condiments of any kind, then drank directly out of the faucet until they were no longer thirsty.

They walked down the hallway to Asgore’s room, but he wasn’t there. The coffin he said he’d work on, a simple pine box like they’d told him, was on a work table like the one in their room, and his large bed was left unmade. His bookshelf was mostly empty, with a few almanacs and dusty prayerbooks, but a journal on his bedside table was open on top of a stack of other journals. They peeked at it curiously, seeing a crumpled page and smoothing it out.

“It will be difficult to bury the human… but we do what we must. The way humans are, I suppose I could have expected this, but I had hoped… ah well. The responsibilities placed upon me are vast but I will bear them with honor.

ASGORE.”

The journal under it was empty, but the first fifty or so pages were torn out. They shivered and shut it. <<Alright. We’re going downstairs.>>

Heady’s voice was full of fear. <<Frisk, are you-->>

<<I don’t want to talk about it.>>

<<Frisk, I’m w-->>

They gritted their teeth. <<I DON’T. Want. To talk about it.>>

They descended the stairs leaning on their stick, but when they reached a narrow corridor they equipped the faded ribbon and the toy knife instead. The knife felt strange in their hands. Heady compulsively described each as they equipped them. <<I know someone who always said always said that when you’re cuter, monsters can’t hit you as hard. That kind of knife can’t be very common anymore, right? It’s made of plastic, that can’t be very sustainable to make.>>

<<They’re a rarity nowadays, yes.>>

<<You talk like… someone I used to know.>> Heady’s voice seemed near tears.

<<Weird.>>  Frisk shrugged, psyching themself up. They saw Asgore at the end of the hall.

Walking up to him, they tugged on his cloak. “Dad?”

“Oh! Little one, it is not safe for you down here. If you do not go back to your room, I cannot spare your life.”

“Is this how I leave?”

“Little one, you cannot leave. Please, we could be a family in the RUINS. If you leave… they… ESPAR… will kill you. I cannot protect you, young one. Only in here do I have power. And even then, I must destroy anyone who tries to escape. It can only be this way, I am sorry.”

“Dad, I have to go. I can’t stay here.”

“You can, small one. You must.”

“I won’t! I have a b’nei mitzvah to go to! I have my whole life ahead of me, I’m not staying here. I won’t let anybody kill me, Dad. I’m Jewish, it’s kind of our shtick. Not the other stick, that one’s just mine. Anyway. Dad, I just… you seem really nice. I’d love to have you for a father. But I can’t stay somewhere under threat of death while my friends above wonder where I’ve gone. It just isn’t right.”

“Little one… you’re right. And I approve, though I barely dare to say it. I wish I could spare your life and let you go. But I must do my duty. If you go into the next room, we will… decide all this. It is the only way.”

He left, walking slowly and somberly, towards the next room.

Despite their misgivings, Frisk walked through the arch at the end of the hall and saw Asgore standing in front of the door, looking down at them through his skull mask. “Very well then. Are you certain you will not turn back?”

They nodded resolutely.

“Then I, ASGORE, must deliver justice. Prepare yourself, human.”

The world went dark except for Asgore, bathed in the flaming light of the torch he’d pulled out when they weren’t looking.

<<CHECK?>>

<<ASGORE. Attack 80, defense 80, very… very high kill count, mostly humans. His SOUL trait is justice. He’s doing what he must.>> Heady’s voice was dark and reluctant.

The world around them became a ring of fire that closed in on their SOUL, leaving only the tiniest escape. When they fled it, they saw only another ring, and another, each with an escape that they could slip through unscathed. They set their SOUL back on ACT, but there was no response from Heady. Grumbling, they focused and began to *Talk, but they found themself scrambling for anything to say and saying nothing. <<There was nothing to say.>>

In silence, Asgore swung his torch, making them jump away from its trail of fire.

<<Do I have to…?>> They moved their SOUL to FIGHT, and swung the knife. It bit deep, scaring them. The bloodless wound sent flakes of dust into the air, and they caught and burnt with the fire of his next attack.

They gulped, bile rising in their throat, but they reversed the knife in their hand and stabbed down at him, plastic blade opening a wound that bled for a few seconds before the blood turned to dust. The fire blackened their sweater and burned the tears off their face, but it didn’t kill them, though their HP dropped. They traded several blows like this, both crying, hands shaking, the sound of roaring flames loud in their ears.

<<ASGORE’s HP is low.>>

Frisk panicked. <<I don’t know what to say!>>

“Little one?”

“Dad?” they signed.

“Why do you hesitate?”

Frisk frowned. “What?”

“Take my life, little one. It is alright. It is what must happen.”

Startled and confused, Frisk stared at him. “No!”

“When you kill me, reach out to the heart. I’ll stay with you.”

Heady shouted into their mind. << NO! YOU CAN’T DO THAT, FRISK. DON’T-- DON’T! >>

Frisk gritted their teeth, took their knife in their left hand, and threw it to their feet.

“Child?”

*Frisk’s AT dropped to zero.

“Child?”

They pushed their SOUL onto the MERCY button, and brought their hands together in the sign for spare.

“Little one?”

Asgore shook his head.“Young one, I must confess, I do not understand.”

“Child, you must kill me. Do not worry.”

Lifting his head, he pleaded with them. “Child, if you do not kill me, I must bury you!”

“Little one, take up your knife!”

Tears streamed down his face. “Child, I will end your life or you will end mine. I can’t let you leave.”

“Young one, please. One more hit, I will make sure it will not miss.”

“I beg of you, child, end it!”

“We were so close, small one! I cannot-- my hands are shaking so. What have you done?” No more fire burned except the one at the top of his torch, and his posture slumped, leaning on the staff.

“Am I not hateful to you? I deny you your freedom, I attack you, I am nothing but death and a monster, abhorred by mankind. Kill me, child, end this!”

“Child… what do you want to do?”

“Do you wish to stay, little one? You can flee, retreat upstairs, and I will accept it.”

“Then what do you wish to do?”

Frisk smiled gently and signed, at last, “Spare.”

“You are, child. But you must fight or turn back.”

They shook their head. “No. I’ll spare and leave. I won’t fight, and I won’t stay.”

“Little one… are you so determined to be killed?”

Their face was set. “No! I’ll protect myself, and I’ll dodge, but I’m not staying here. I’m going home!”

“But child… what will you do when you meet enemies that are not simply a foolish old man? You cannot set their hands to shaking, or slip past them to make up your mind. The world beyond has no safe fields of flowers to play in, no deserted grave dirt to walk while you think. No one to make you snails and tea… well. There’s a fellow I know. Makes the best escargot this side of home… let me write you a letter of recommendation to him. He’s a, er, how does he put it,  a kind of “chill” fellow? Ohoho, and it is indeed cold out there--Snowdin is behind my doors, and you will need a sweater as well. I am afraid I have quite burned yours. Come now, let us prepare you for your journey. And please, stay at his house. He will keep you safe, you can live in his world. He is a kind man, young one, and I am certain that he will be able to do what I cannot.” And with that, he scooped up Frisk into his arms, casting his torch aside, and brought them up the stairs.

Chapter Text

He cast a powerful healing spell, bringing them back to twenty HP, and then sat at the table with his fountain pen and a piece of paper, swiftly penning a letter in deep purple ink and blowing on it to dry it before folding it and sliding it into an envelope that had grown yellow with age--apparently he didn’t send a lot of letters. On the front, he wrote “Papyrus t. Skeleton, 66 Evergreen Rd., Snowdin Town, 3rd Postal Zone.”

“This will reach him soon, young one.”

Frisk reached out and swiped it from his hands, waving it back and forth to dry the ink.

“Little one! Wh--”

“Gonna take it to him! You can’t trick me, if I stick around you’re just gonna regret letting me go and make me stay. So I’ll take it for you!”

“Child, I… You are right. I wished to prolong your stay. But if I am going to break my oath, it will be now.” He took their free hand, and lead them down to their room, rifling through the closet and pulling out a warm, green and yellow striped, sweater. “Please, take this memento of me, and… when you leave, do not return. Do not call me. I am sorry, I cannot… I cannot face your phone ringing only to go unanswered, as it must.”

“Why?”

“Hush, young one. No more questions. Hold me close, and then let me go once and for all. It was nice to have met you, child. Please, hold me in your heart. Goodbye, little one.”

He walked with them to the top of the stairs, but they descended them alone. They disdained the knife when they found it, scorched and kicked aside, re-equipping their stick and leaning on it thankfully, moving faster now that they didn’t need to cling to walls.

<<Heady?>> Frisk asked.

<<Yeah?>>

<<Are you… alright?>>

<<Don’t worry about me. I’ll be alright.>> Heady’s mental voice sounded guarded, as if he was on the verge of tears but hiding it.

<<You don’t seem alright. What was wrong when he started talking about the heart?>> Frisk pressed.

<<I just… a human shouldn’t take a monster SOUL. It wasn’t meant to happen.>>

Frisk frowned. <<I didn’t think we could take SOULs.>> They had learned in the hostel that SOUL-stealing was a myth, meant to scare kids, much like magic.

<<You can’t. Only a Boss Monster SOUL, and only in the few seconds after their death. But it will… It can’t happen. You can’t do it.>>

<<How do you know?>>

<<I just do, okay? Don’t… please, let’s just go.>>

<<...Alright.>>

They opened the door, noting that winged symbol from their phone. Before them stretched a long hallway, the end shadowed. They walked and walked into the darkness, shivering even in their new sweater. Finally, they could see nearly nothing, but they knew the room had opened up around them.

Something was moving… they squinted. Suddenly, the room was flooded with light, glowing white orbs that they scrambled away from. Belladonna.

“Greetings… It is I, Belladonna. Listen. I do not know what you think you are playing at. But it seems you believe you are above the laws of this world. Dare I remind you? It is kill or be killed. You have not killed, but you refuse to die. I do not understand this… but it does not matter. I am the future of humans and monsters. Including you. And whatever you are… you have something I need. I will not demand it now. For now… you need only be aware that I am watching you. And. That you are not the one in control.” Before Frisk could even begin a response, the flower laughed as its face began dripping with a dark red, nearly black, substance, and then the flower, vine and all, sank into the ground, and was gone.

<<What was that?!>>

Heady made a bunch of incoherent noises that he clamped down on as soon as they begun. <<Er. That’s. Belladonna. I guess they wanted to scare you?>>

<<They definitely succeeded!>>

<<Come on, let’s find the Papyrus guy. I don’t think we should stay here.>>

Frisk shivered in agreement and continued, opening the great double doors that lead out into the snow.

Chapter Text

Outside it was dark and silent. Snow blew through the air. They investigated a bush to see if it had any fruit at all, but instead of fruit, they found… <<A camera?!>>

<<Weird. Come on, let’s get out of sight.>>

Frisk had no argument with that--they ducked quickly out of sight into the trees, avoiding the main path. Along the path, as they walked, mysterious disturbances marred the surface of the snow.

They came to a deep cleft in the snow, bridged by a few thin wooden planks. Looking over the edge, it was too deep to risk jumping, and the bottom was filled with spikes like they’d seen in the RUINS.

They heard a crunch in the snow behind them. “HUMAN. DIDN’T ANYONE TELL YOU NOT TO COME THIS WAY? STEP ONTO THE PATH, LET ME GET A BETTER LOOK AT YOU.” The voice was high and reedy, loud but hardly commanding, making Frisk think of a tall, thin, bedraggled, homeless man they once knew, who had so scared the local street kids that he could sleep almost anywhere without being disturbed.

They stepped warily onto the path, not seeing the source of the voice. Immediately, a large custard pie hit them square in the face. “NYEH HEH HEH HEH HEH! THE SIMPLE STRAIGHTFORWARD SIDEWAYS COMPLETELY UNEXPECTED DEPOSIT! THE MOST HILARIOUS OF JAPES!”

Frisk wiped their face clean with a hand and stared at the speaker. He was nearly twice their height, made only of bones, wearing an orange sweatshirt that said “I broke the laws of spacetime and all I got was this lousy sweatshirt” and a pair of booty shorts that showed off the bare bones of his legs all the way down to his sneakers. In one mittened hand, he held the pie tin, with the remain of the pie that had been mashed into their face, and in the other he held a wooden spoon.

“I AM PAPYRUS! PAPYRUS THE SKELETON! SOME EVEN CALL ME… THE GREAT PAPYRUS! AND IN SEVERAL YEARS, YOU COULD CALL ME DOCTOR PAPYRUS! AND YOUR NAME IS?”

Frisk made their name sign slowly and carefully, and Papyrus mimicked it. “WELL! HUMAN, I BELIEVE YOU ARE IN NEED OF ADVICE ON THIS PUZZLE. YOU SEE, THIS BRIDGE WILL COLLAPSE WHEN YOU ARE HALFWAY ACROSS IT. BUT MERELY ALLOW ME TO RETRIEVE MY COOKING GEAR, AND WE WILL SORT IT OUT TOGETHER!”

Frisk was stunned, still scraping custard out of their eyebrows, and had not thought of anything to say to Papyrus when he returned with a steaming pot. “SPAGHETTI! MADE IN A CERTIFIED PAPYRUS (TEE EMM) SELF-HEATING POT! WE CAN HAVE SOME, IF MY BROTHER DOESN’T CATCH US. HE IS A HUMAN-HUNTING HORROR! A SOUL-STALKING SCREWBALL! A FANTASTICALLY COOL DUDE ALL AROUND! ALRIGHT, NOW FOR THE PUZZLE. WELL. HMM. WE CAN JUST--” He grabbed them by the scruff of their neck, picking them up, and leapt into the air, clearing the canyon easily. “BE VERY TALL, AGILE, AND HANDSOME! TADA!”

“Warn me next time?”

“CERTAINLY! WAIT, I SEE-- MY BROTHER! ALAS, ALACK! QUICKLY, BEHIND THE ROBOT TRASH!”

The stack of cast-off, purplish, parts was big enough for them to curl up behind it, peeking out through the cracks. They saw a second skeleton approaching, wearing a pale purple polo shirt with that winged symbol on it and black slacks. He was only a few inches taller than them, and the back of his skull was covered in something shiny that caught the snow glare and shone angrily. “papyrus! what are you doing out here?!”

“MAKING SPAGHETTI FOR METTABLOOK, BROTHER! YOURSELF?”

“you know what i mean, bro! i can’t believe it’s been eight days since you’ve slept, or practiced your weapons forms, or done anything to take care of yourself! what did you hyperfocus on this time, papyrus?”

“I WAS COOKING. HONEST. THAT’S ALL. DO YOU WANT TO TRY SOME?”

“no, that’s alright. i’m busy right now. what if a human comes through? i need to check all the traps for a human soul. they can be tough to see if their brightness is low, like if they don’t have a lot of dt.”

“BUT THEIR SOUL WON’T BE OUT IF THEY’RE ALIVE! IT’LL BE VERY EASY TO TELL, SURELY.”

“uh-huh, papyrus. just bein’ a perfectionist.”

“WELL… I SUPPOSE IT’S BETTER THAN YOU BEING LAZY.”

“well, it is the last soul. if we can just get it without violence, everything will work out. undyne’ll be so much happier, and i’ll be able to do what i need to in the guard without alphys worrying, and the queen…” the short skeleton sighed.

“DO YOU NEED SOME SPAGHETTI TO CHEER YOU UP?”

“ugh, papyrus. you don’t get it. you’re just wasting your time with m-- ah, nevermind. i’ll have some if you’ll go home and take a nap, bro.”

“OH MY GOD! WE DON’T NEED TO SLEEP, SANS, WE’RE SKELETONS! YOU’RE JUST LAZY!”

“hey, there’s a ton of benefits to napping. a skele ton.”

“UGH!”

“you’re smiling.”

“SUCH A LAZY PUN. YOU PUT MORE ENERGY INTO YOUR SMITHING THAN YOUR PUNS, I SWEAR.”

“hey, that cut me… to the bone.”

“GROW SOME BACKBONE , SANS.” So Sans was his name.

Heady giggled. <<Hee-hee, like the font he speaks in, comic sans!>>

<<Yeah, and that means it’s papyrus that his brother speaks! That’s pretty funny, actually.>>

“alright, alright, bring it in. have an apology hug before i go check the traps.”

“YOU DON’T NEE--” Papyrus set down his pot quickly before he was enveloped in a hug by his brother, giving Frisk a better glimpse of the back of Sans’ head. The shining thing was metal, and hugged his skull bone, but they couldn’t see any buckles or straps holding it on.

“YOU GIVE THE BEST HUGS.”

“heh, nah. that’s you, definitely.”

“YOU’RE JUST SAYING THAT BECAUSE MY SWEATSHIRT IS SOFTER THAN YOUR POLO.”

“nah, it’s your innate huggability, bro. ah well, i got more traps to check before i can slack off anyway.” He headed off, leaving clear prints in the snow.

Frisk clambered out from behind the pile of parts, getting a clear view of where it said “SOFT N WARM” on Papyrus’ booty shorts in flaming letters and wincing. They’d never seen a pair of booty shorts with that written on them, and worried what that was even supposed to mean.

“OH! HUMAN, GOOD TO SEE HE DIDN’T NOTICE YOU. MY BROTHER CAN BE… KINDA INTENSE.”

“Mmmhm.” Frisk looked him up and down.

“YOU WANTED THAT SPAGHETTI?”

“Sure.”

Papyrus opened the pot and scooped out some spaghetti with his wooden spoon, holding it out.

<<Do we open your mouth?>> Heady said, panicking.

<<I dunno, do you want it in my hands instead?>>

<<Just pick quickly!>>

Frisk opened their mouth, and Papyrus dropped about half a plate of spaghetti in it. They chewed, awkwardly, and swallowed. <<Huh, it’s good.>>

<<Maybe everyone down here is just a good cook now.>>

“DO YOU LIKE IT?”

“Yeah, it’s pretty good! Thanks, Papyrus.”

Papyrus blushed orange. “THANKS! I TRY VERY HARD! WELL, THAT’S NOT TRUE. I TRY PRETTY HARD. MOSTLY HARD. KINDA HARD. MY, ER, FRIEND, LIKES SPAGHETTI A LOT.”

Frisk smiled at him gently and went to leave.

“HEY, HANG ON HUMAN, CAN YOU WAIT A SECOND? MY BROTHER’S BEEN KINDA DOWN LATELY, AND HE HASN’T BEEN TAKING CARE OF HIMSELF THE WAY HE SHOULD. I WAS THINKING IT WOULD MAKE HIS DAY IF HE FOUND YOU, AND NOT IN ONE OF HIS TRAPS EITHER. SINCE YOU MIGHT, ER, FALL DOWN.” He lowered his voice to an awkward whisper. “Die, I mean, since you’re human.” He coughed, returning to his usual reedy shout. “DON’T WORRY, SANS ISN’T DANGEROUS IF I’M AROUND. HE STILL THINKS I DON’T KNOW HE’S PLANNING TO DO A VIOLENCE SECRETLY. HE WON’T HURT YOU, SO LONG AS WE CATCH UP TO HIM QUICKLY AND DON’T GET CAUGHT IN ONE OF THOSE PITS.”

Frisk nodded, brow furrowing. “Sure.”

Flustered, Heady scrambled for words. <<Wait, we’re not going to-->>

<<Yes we are! Dealing with him himself will be easier than trying to avoid these traps, especially if they’re supposed to kill us!>> Frisk shivered, as much from the thought of dying and going back to their last SAVE all the way before they’d fought Asgore as from the cold.

<<He didn’t seem that scary?>>

Frisk set their jaw. <<I trust Papyrus.>>

<<He just pied you in the face!!>>

<<It was a friendly pie. Come on.>>

Chapter Text

Frisk walked through a gap in the trees, following where they’d seen the younger skeleton go. Papyrus rushed forward, catching up to him, and drawing his attention to Frisk, still standing in the chokepoint of the path and leaning on their stick.

The light in his left eye sparked, taking a shape like a triangle with a chunk taken out of the bottom--almost like an upside-down heart. “heya, papyrus. you see that? that’s a human. hilarious! i don’t think you’ve ever seen one of these before.”

“NEITHER HAVE YOU!”

“that’s not true, alphys has shown me lots of stuff about humans. i know what they look like!”

“WELL, UNDYNE SAYS MOST OF THAT STUFF WAS FAKE!”

“well, dad showed me all about them when he was training me for the grey guard!”

“EVEN THE GREY GUARD ISN’T JUST ABOUT CAPTURING HUMANS, SANS!”

“it’s the important thing. anyway, a human. we got some, uh, puzzles for ya. hope ya like spikes and pits, bud. although really, what kinda kid doesn’t? c’mon, human, bro, let’s do the first one. if you ain’t scared, of course.” He strode off, looking back over one shoulder. “heh. i hope you ain’t scared of me just on account’a my skull plate. got it a few years back, it keeps me together. ain’t a big deal, just aches when it’s cold out.” He rubbed at it ruefully. “ah well.”

He hadn’t given Frisk a chance to reply when he left around a turn in the path.

“WELL, THAT WENT AS WELL AS I CAN EXPECT. I DON’T KNOW WHAT HE’S PLANNING, BUT I THINK YOU’LL SURVIVE. NYEHEHEH, HE DOESN’T HAVE THE STOMACH FOR VIOLENCE.”

Frisk snickered at Papyrus’ pun, and headed out. They saw a little hut in the snow, and took a peek at it.

Heady followed their gaze. <<Ooh, look, there’s a note! Part of it’s in wingdings, but part’s in English.>>

The note said, in cheerful comic sans font: “heya!

if you’re reading this, this is my sentry station. or rather, it’s going to be one, once alphys puts me on the guard. right now it’s a future sentry station. help yourself to my condiments if you want ‘em, except for the ketchup. oh, and this is a weed free zone. four twenty i’m’a blaze you.”

And below it, a short note in wingdings, which neither of them could read.

Frisk frowned. <<Weird. I don’t even know what half of that means?>>

<<I guess we’ll find out.>>

They spotted a SAVE point and poked at it. <<The snowy forest seems full of light and life. The power of future friends shines within you. ❤️Determination/Magic? File Saved.>>

A few yards away, they noticed a wooden box on the floor. A note was written on a a little placard near it. “This is a box.”

<<Duh.>>

“You can put an item in or take an item out. The same box will appear later, so don’t worry about coming back for your things. Sincerely, A Box Lover.”

Frisk opened the box curiously. Inside was a single pink leather glove, which Heady told them was a weapon, so they left it there. They put one of the Bone Treats into the box, but kept the rest of their items close at hand. Continuing into the next room, they saw a cloud of smoke rising out of a sentry station.

“Was something moving?!” A voice rang out. “I’m warning you, I’m jumpy before I can get buzzed in the mornings. If you start moving before I’ve sniffed you out properly, I might show you why I’m named Burgershield!!”

They froze, but their SOUL was already outside their body. Their assailant was a cat-monster, wearing a light, patchwork, suit of armor and carrying a kite shield with that symbol from their phone and Sans’ shirt. They held up their right paw defensively, revealing long, wicked, claws.

<<Oh no! Quick, CHECK him, we need to know what to do!!>> Frisk pushed their SOUL to ACT as slowly and carefully as they could, trying not to draw attention by moving it.

<<Burgershield, AT 13, DF 7. His SOUL trait is patience. He’s killed a lot… but I don’t think he’s malicious. Movement sets him off unless he’s pretty high. Hobbies include birds. We should be safe if you don’t move.>>

A glint in his eye turned a bright cyan and swept a laser-like line across the snowy hills, but Frisk stayed stock-still. <<What acts can we do?>>

<<I’d recommend just some scritches.>>

<<YES.>>

A glowing red Frisk appeared around the SOUL while Burgershield was looking the other way and gently scritched the top of his head. Instantly he dropped his shield and his composure. “WHAT?? I’VE BEEN SCRITCHED???? GIVEN LOVES?? BY SOMETHING THAT WASN’T MOVING???? AW, MAN, I AM NOT HIGH ENOUGH FOR THIS.” He jumped up into the air and scampered away to land on top of a guard station, paws tucked under him and tail lashing while he puffed away at his blunt. “Pet? Pat? Pot? Pit?” His name, underneath him, was yellow, and they spared him.

Frisk giggled as their SOUL receded into their body.

<<Hee-hee, he shouldn’t be smoking on the job,>> Heady snickered.

<<It looks like he needs it, Heady, don’t be mean.>>

They walked quickly into the next room before they could get a second-hand high off the smoke, because Frisk knew and hated that experience. They ran nearly smack-dab into Papyrus.

<<The letter, Frisk, before you forget again.>>

“Can I give you something real quick?”

“CERTAINLY, HUMAN! WHAT IS IT? DID YOU MAKE SPAGHETTI?”

“Um, next time, Papyrus.” They pulled Asgore’s letter out of their inventory. “This is for you.”

Papyrus opened up the letter and pulled it out. “HMM. MM. MMHM. AH, OKAY. SURE, I CAN DO THAT. FIRST, THOUGH, WE SHOULD PROBABLY CATCH UP WITH SANS. CHOP CHOP!” And with that, he rushed away.

Frisk walked up to the big icy patch on the ground. <<Am I okay to step on this?>>

<<You’ll slide, but you’ll be alright.>>

They slid as soon as they stepped onto it, trailing their bad leg behind like an ice skater. They grabbed a sign to stop their momentum.

<<Ooh, directions. Hmm. North, ice, West, ice, East, Snowdin Town! Oh, I know where we are. Wow, so those were those RUINs? What was ASGORE doing there?>> Heady seemed upset, but Frisk didn’t know why.

They tried to cheer him up. <<Snowdin Town… and ice! Can’t forget that!>>

<<Heh, yeah. We can check North, just to make sure Sans isn’t behind us, or we can, um, keep heading East?>>

<<Let’s encounter the ice!>> Frisk launched themself Northward, but stumbled into a FIGHT almost as soon as they were off the ice.

<<*Snowdrake flutters forth!>> The bird in front of them was icy blue, with a crest that looked like a snowflake and a bill full of blunt teeth.

<<Let’s CHECK him!>> Frisk said with a confident grin.

<<Snowdrake, AT 12, DF 7. His SOUL trait is integrity. Innocent, but not always nice. He’s just a teen comedian fighting to keep a captive audience.>>

“What do you do with used-up snowballs? Benumb!” His voice was harsh on Frisk’s ears, but his attacks were easy to dodge.

<<Hee-hee, bin ‘em! This guy isn’t that bad! Okay, we can laugh, heckle, or joke,>> Heady told them.

<<Maybe we should laugh? Y’know, show him we appreciate it!>>

<<Alright!>> The red outline grinned and chuckled, throwing up finger guns.

“W-what?! Laughs? Dad was wrong, ha-ha! Geez, that’s n- ice of ya!” His name came up yellow, and Frisk SPARED him, watching him flutter off.

They smiled, feeling their pockets grow heavier as Snowdrake’s coins fell into them. They walked North, nearly running into a snowman on the riverbank.

“Hello! I am a snowman. Since you’re a human, er, you are headed to the Capitol?” Frisk didn’t have time to respond. “Great! Can you do me a favor? I want to see the world, but I can’t move. Can you take a part of me and bring it with you, human?”

“Well--”

“Thanks!”

<<You got the Snowman Piece,>> Heady informed them.

<<Wait, but I’m not going to the Capitol-->>

<<It’s okay. Just keep it safe for him, maybe? We can always give it to some other traveller, right?>>

“...You’re welcome?” Frisk leaned heavily on their stick as they rushed out.

In the next room, they found the skeletons again. “so did you even make any traps, or did you give up on capturing a human entirely?”

“THAT’S NOT FAIR! I DID MAKE A TRAP, AND IT’S VERY GOOD. IT’S A REAL CONUNDRUM.”

“oh, hey, the human’s here. this is the invisible electricity maze. made it myself. touch the walls, and you’ll get zapped. watch out, i hear electricity can be pretty dangerous if you’re made of water.”

Frisk bit their lip, and stepped forward resolutely, planting their stick to support their weight, and beginning to survey the maze. They took a deep breath, and went to step forward into it, but Sans spoke, cutting them off.

“heya, wait a sec there. i forgot, you have to hold this, uh, orb.” He produced a little grey ball with blue lights set into it, stepping forward. Suddenly, electricity hit him, charring a layer of ash over his bones. “sh--ugar! sugar, yeah. not any curse words.” He moved a few feet to the left, then began walking a careful path through the clearing. “here ya go, bud,” he said, dropping the ball into their hands and tracing his path back to where he began, leaving an ashy trail where he stepped.

<<Oh! We could follow his trail!>> Frisk noticed.

A smile crept over Frisk’s face, and they walked the path that Sans had taken with care.

“heh, are ya some kinda genius or somethin’? welp, i ain’t complainin’. you’re one step closer to my favorite puzzle, an’ that’s what matters.” He strolled off down the path until he was lost from sight once more.

“GOOD JOB! I’M VERY PROUD OF YOU. MY PUZZLE IS NEXT, AND WHILE IT WILL CERTAINLY CONFOUND YOU, IT ISN’T DANGEROUS. I’M NOT THAT KIND OF PERSON.”

“Thanks, Papyrus.”

“CERTAINLY! ALRIGHT, ONWARDS! I HAVE A JAPE IN THE NEXT ROOM TO PREPARE!” Without waiting for their answer, he chased after his brother.

<<That should be interesting,>> Frisk thought.

<<...Yeah, interesting is a good word for it. Did you see the shock Sans took? That would’ve killed a human. Lucky for him he’s probably not very conductive, but that’s a real deathtrap we just got through.>>

<<Hopefully Papyrus’ will be easier.>>

<<Yeah, hopefully.>>

Chapter Text

In the next room, they spotted an ice cream vendor’s cart, attended by a wizard-looking guy with no arms and spheres orbiting his head. “Vendimus!”

<<What’s he saying?>> Frisk asked.

<<It’s in the language of magic! I think it means “I’m selling.”>>

“Hi? Are you, um, selling this ice cream?”

“Please! And thank you!”

<<Hee-hee, the magic words!>>

“That’s a yes? How much?”

One of the orbs blinked and spun, shooting out sparks that formed a 15 before fading. They dug in their inventory and pulled out 15 gold coins, counting them out onto the change dish of the vendor’s cart. A wrapped popsicle floated out of the cart and into their free hand, and they read the wrapper curiously--it was covered in runes, but as Heady translated, it said “Magicicle! Sure to put a spell on you. Now only 15 G!”

“Thanks!”

“Abracadabra!!” Madjick disappeared into its hat, cart and all, then reappeared with the change gone from the change dish.

<<Must be hard not having arms. Poor guy,>> Heady thought.

They wandered on, finding a footbridge that looked so obviously dangerous they nearly decided to go all the way back to the woods to find a log to put across the gap before they realized it was a trap, but one designed to make them want to skip it and get them into more trouble doing so, and crossed it without hearing a single creak from the fragile-seeming boards.

On the other side, Papyrus was waiting, and he rushed up to them when he saw them. “HUMAN! IT’S GOOD TO SEE YOU WEREN’T BAMBOOZLED BY MY BROTHER’S TRICKERY! THE RICKETY-SEEMING BRIDGE, A MOST BEWILDERING JAPE! BUT IT SEEMS YOU KNOW EVERYTHING THERE IS TO KNOW ABOUT PUZZLES. IT SEEMS HE’S MET A WORTHY MATCH, MM?”

“Um, sure?”

“NO NEED TO BE SO MODEST, HUMAN! IT SEEMS YOU ARE TRULY GREAT, MUCH LIKE HIM!”

“Thanks, Papyrus.”

“ABSOLUTELY DAPSOLUTELY NO NEED! NOW, I HAVE SOME ADVICE FOR YOU ABOUT MY BROTHER. HE HAS A FIENDISH BLUE ATTACK! IF YOU SEE A BLUE ATTACK, IT IS VITAL THAT YOU STAY STILL AND DON’T MOVE AT ALL. FREEZE IN YOUR TRACKS.”

“Thanks! I actually just saw something like that, coming from Burgershield.”

“OH! WELL, MY BROTHER’S BLUE ATTACK IS. DIFFERENT. MORE DANGEROUS. HE CAN EVEN MAINTAIN IT OUTSIDE OF BATTLE!”

“Really?”

“I KNOW! HE’S MAGNIFICENT. I DON’T KNOW WHY CAPTAIN ALPHYS HASN’T INDUCTED HIM INTO THE GUARD YET. HE’S A GENIUS WITH THAT KNIFE OF HIS, TOO.”

“Knife?”

“YES! SANS IS A MASTER IN THE FORGE. HIS WEAPONS ARE FIENDISH AND POWERFUL, EVEN… LETHAL!” Papyrus bent down, putting his skull so close to Frisk that they could see the insides of his eye sockets. “YOU CAN’T LET HIM KILL YOU, OKAY, HUMAN? I KNOW IT’S NOT EASY FOR YOU, BUT YOU ABSOLUTELY CANNOT ALLOW HIM TO KILL YOU. OKAY?”

Frisk looked at him, their blood running cold. “I won’t,” they signed with fumbling fingers.

“GOOD! OKAY, WANT TO PLAY THE BALL GAME TO BLOW OFF SOME STEAM?”

“...Sure.”

Papyrus grabbed their chilly hand in his mittened one and pulled them over to a field of packed snow, on which a snowball the size of a kickball was sitting. “WE HAVE TO WORK TOGETHER TO GET THIS BALL INTO THE HOLE!”

“Okay, you go downfield, and I’ll pass it to you, then…” Frisk leaned on their stick, outlining a strategy for them, then stepped up to the ball. To their surprise, it rolled like a soccer ball, and Papyrus picked up the pass with ease. They chased it, passed it onwards again, and finally raced alongside Papyrus to get the ball in the hole. At the last second, Papyrus tripped on his untied laces, falling face first into the snowbank, and they had to rush forwards to kick the quickly melting ball into the hole. A dark blue flag rose out of the hole, and a fanfare played, then a voiceover said, “Blue: hopping and twirling, your original style brought you through. You are awarded 4g.” Looking curiously into the hole for the source of the voice, they saw four gold coins glittering at the bottom.

“I ALWAYS GET BLUE,” Papyrus grumbled. “BECAUSE I KEEP FALLING OVER. CAN WE SPLIT THE PRIZE?”

Frisk passed him two coins, noticing they were stamped with a flag and a snowball. “Do you want me to tie your laces?”

“WHAT?”

“Your s-h-o-e-l-a-c-e-s,” they said, fingerspelling the word Papyrus hadn’t recognized. “I can tie them for you.”

“WHAT DOES THAT DO?”

“Well, you’ll fall over less.”

“REALLY?”

“Here, I’ll show you.” Frisk knelt down and tied the ratty shoelaces in a quick double-knot.

Papyrus stamped his feet to test them. “WOWIE!”

Frisk giggled. “Shall we try again?”

They did, and got a purple flag. “Purple: Even when you felt trapped, you took notes and achieved the end of “ball”. You are awarded 2g.”

“I WONDER HOW MANY DIFFERENT FLAGS THERE ARE?”

“Maybe seven, since they’re SOUL colored?”

“ARE THEY? I’M COLORBLIND.”

“Then how did you know about blue attacks?”

“OH! THAT’S SIMPLE. SANS TELLS ME WHAT COLORS THINGS ARE! HE’S SUPER HELPFUL. ONCE, I SET THE HOUSE ON FIRE BUILDING A ROBOT, AND HE B-- WELL, HE TOOK CARE OF IT.”

They looked at their hands. Sans seemed nice enough, but everything they knew about him suggested that he could snap them in half as easily as they could break the stick they leaned on. “That’s cool.”

“COME ON! LET’S TEST YOUR HYPOTHESIS.”

“...Alright.”

A cyan flag came up this time, since the ball had gotten small before they’d managed to kick it in. They sped up the next time, getting an orange flag, but Frisk fell on the ice and turned their bad leg. Playing slower, they got a green flag. The next time, they were a little more accurate, and got a yellow flag. The seventh time, they made a fast pass to Papyrus, and got a red flag the same color as their SOUL, and fifty gold piled up in the hole.

Papyrus cheered, bending down over the hole and scooping up the gold, giving it all to them despite their protest. “BUY YOURSELF SOMETHING NICE AT YI’S. YOU LOOK COLD.”

“Yi?”

“HE’S THE SHOPKEEP! HE MAKES DELICIOUS HOT CHOCOLATE, BUT IT’S NOT AS GOOD AS TEA. AND HE ALSO HAS SOME CLOTHES BASED ON A HUMAN DESIGN. I BET THEY WOULD BE WARMER THAN YOUR RIBBON.”

“But don’t you want any?”

“IT’S ALRIGHT! BESIDES, THAT PASS WAS ALL YOU!”

Frisk shook their head, but took it anyway. “Thanks, Papyrus. Do you think we can do that again?”

“LET’S TRY IT, HUMAN!”

“Alright!”

Chapter Text

The second red flag they got only gave them ten gold, and they were getting actually chilly, so they decided to press onwards. In the next room, there was a pile of robot parts on the floor, and they nearly tripped on them.

“NYEH HEH HEH! SHOCKED? SURPRISED? THIS IS NOT JUST MY HIDDEN LABORATORY--IT IS ALSO THE HOME OF MY GREATEST PUZZLE, BARRING THE PATH INTO SNOWDIN TOWN. SANS?”

“mm?” Sans said, strolling out from behind a tree he had definitely not been behind before. “where’s the puzzle, papyrus?”

“AH! WELL, SEE THIS KEY? IT INTERFACES WITH THE BRIDGE TO THE NEXT AREA. WITHOUT IT, YOU WOULD BE UNABLE TO CONTINUE ONWARDS TO SNOWDIN TOWN. AND--OOPS!” He tossed the key into the air, and an orange aura surrounded it, as it arced perfectly up and onto the top of one of the trees, where it let off a small cascade of purple sparks and then sat, perfectly balanced, on top of a thin limb. “ALAS! IT SEEMS YOU WILL BE UNABLE TO CONTINUE… UNLESS YOU UTILIZE THESE PARTS TO RETRIEVE THE KEY!”

“nice puzzle, bro. did mett help you practice the monologue?”

“INDEED! NOW! HUMAN! TOIL AWAY!”

Frisk couldn’t help but giggle at that, drawing an exasperated huff out of Papyrus. <<What do we do?>>

Heady spoke cautiously, testing the situation. <<Let’s look at the parts, right? Okay, it’s, um. A bunch of robot junk. You don’t have any idea what any of it’s for, do you?>>

They picked up a pink, sparkly, boot and looked at it appraisingly. <<Nope.>>

<<Then I think we should look for other options?>>

Frisk walked up to the base of the tree the key was at the top of and looked up towards it. The lowest branch was about three feet above their head, and the highest nearly fifty feet up.

<<You can’t climb it.>> Heady told them unnecessarily.

<<How about this one?>> Frisk indicated a nearby tree that seemed built for climbing, with thick branches and gnarled bark, about ten feet higher than the one with the key.

<<What about your leg?>>

They looked at it, frowning. True, the last time they’d tried to climb a tree they’d put too much weight on it and fallen (luckily into the arms of their rabbi) and they were in no rush to repeat the experience. <<Maybe there’s something in the pile I can splint it with so the splint will take my weight for me?>>

<<Maybe!>>

In a few minutes, they had something worked out--the boot they’d found earlier went up to their thigh and, when reinforced with some of the metal tubes, would take their weight. They took some of the leftover screws and nails and drove them into the sole of the boot to keep traction, then stamped their way over to the tree, their booted foot awkward but mobile. Hoisting themself up on the lowest branch, they dug in their boot in the rough bark and stood, using the trunk for support. Foot by foot, they ascended the tree, their headmate cheering them on the whole way. Finally, they reached out with the stick, trying to hook the ring of the key, but knocking it to the ground instead. They watched it fall, making a little dent in the snow where it landed, and set their face, clambering back down. At last, they made their way to the ground, stooped to pick up the key, and walked triumphantly back to Papyrus. “Got it!”

“I’M FLABBERGASTED! SANS! I BELIEVE YOU MAY HAVE MET YOUR MATCH! I KNOW I HAVE. THIS HUMAN CLEARLY LOVES PUZZLES, MAYBE EVEN AS MUCH AS YOU DO!”

“wow. that wasn’t an easy one, either. welp, let me show ya a bit of a shortcut to snowdin town.”

“SANS, YOU DON’T PLAN TO--”

“nah, nah, not that kind of shortcut, don’t worry. i just want to show them the puzzles on the short track. it’s right through here.”

Sans walked over to a tree with a scorch mark on the side that seemed to have destroyed all the branches, leaving a tiny gap in the trees which they could now see opened onto a small track through the woods.

“What happened to that tree?”

Sans’ eyelights flickered briefly, “... lightning. don’t worry about it.”

“...Okay.”

“just through here. keep followin’ the track, you’ll make it to snowdin town. don’t worry, i’ll be around when there’s puzzles. i just ain’t much for walkin’.”

Frisk stepped out into the trees, with Papyrus following behind them. After a short way, they found a SAVE point, next to a comically large piece of cheese covered in sticky notes.

“SANS! WHY IS THERE A MASSIVE CHEESE IN THE WOODS?!”

“uhh, you said i should feed the mice, right?”

“THEY ARE JUST REGULAR MICE! NOT SOME KIND OF WEIRD GIANT MICE?”

“they can nibble some off”

“DID YOU REALLY DO THIS JUST SO YOU WOULDN’T HAVE TO FEED THEM EVERY DAY?”

“yeah, pretty clever, huh?”

“HOW DID YOU DO THIS?!”

“i put a giant cheese in the woods?? it’s not hard papyrus”

“WHERE DID YOU GET A GIANT CHEESE TO START WITH?!”

“uh, the giant cheese store, duh?”

“NO! THE T R U T H, SANS!”

“your mom”

“WE DON’T HAVE A MOTHER, SANS!”

“oh, can it. the cheese is here, the mice are fed, our family is a mess, there’s a cheese grater in the kitchen cabinet if you want some”

“BUT CAN CHEESE SUCKS SANS!”

“heh.”

“DID YOU REALLY USE A STICKY NOTE TO LAUGH AT MY JOKE?”

“yeah”

“ “yeah”??? TREES ARE DYING BROTHER!!”

“then stop wasting them, i dunno what to tell you.”

“FINE!”

By the time they finished reading the notes, Heady was giggling so hard they had started laughing without their own input, although they were quick to join in. They clambered up on top of the cheese, intending to slide down it, when they noticed a SAVE point. <<Oh, thank G-d.>>

<<Papyrus, the clever, warm-hearted, slacker is now your friend. The power of goofy boys shines within you. ❤️Determination/Magic? File Saved.>>

Chapter Text

Papyrus was quiet, playing with some machine parts and watching his breath steam in the air, but he walked along behind them as they wandered further along the path, running into Sans again. “just x-o puzzles mostly. some pretty clever configurations here though. this one’s for you to figure it out by yourself, since I can’t say I could be ar--bothered to explain. holler if you really need help, aight?”

“Okay!” Frisk walked their way up to the pile of rocks on the ground, seeing that they were arranged in three waist-high walls that made an H shape, with a mechanical tile on the floor inside each one displaying a red X. They walked up to one of them and stepped on it, seeing it change to a blue O underfoot. “Oh!” They rushed around to the other one and planted their stick on it triumphantly, then jumped onto it--but the moment their feet hit the blue O, it turned into a green triangle. “Oh no!” They thumped their stick on the rocks to get Sans’ attention. “Sans, I think I messed it up.”

He glanced at the blade of a knife that appeared without warning in his hand. “yup, ya did. f--messed it right up. indeed. aight, hop on off it and i’ll reset it for ya.” As soon as they stepped hesitantly off it, he spun the knife in his hand and twisted the cap on the hilt, and the puzzle reset back to two red Xs. This time, they didn’t play around, just stepping carefully on both Xs and looking triumphantly at him as the spikes blocking the path receded.

“good one, human.”

“Thanks!”

“head on forwards. i’ll keep an eye on ya, don’ worry, i just need a few before i get movin’ again.”

“I’M GOING TO STAY WITH SANS. I NEED TO TALK TO HIM.”

“Okay,” they said, wondering idly why Sans didn’t like to move around in front of them but somehow was wherever they needed him. They kept walking, sure that both skeletons would somehow be there when they arrived at the next puzzle.

The next room was a long hall, where they encountered a small monster made of ice wearing a hat that dwarfed them, and even some of the trees around them.

<<Ice Cap struts up!>>

<<It’s. Called Ice cap,>> Frisk noted exasperatedly.

<<Yeah?>>

<<Fine! I’m not even surprised anymore! CHECK him,>> they said, feigning irritation. They caught the tone of a laugh in his description.

<<Ice cap, AT 11, DF 4. His SOUL trait is perseverance. He’s only guilty of crimes against fashion. He loves that hat of his. Seems like a big attention hog.>>

Undulating walls of ice rose around their SOUL, but they stayed still and let them pass around it without dealing a single damage. “Where’s YOUR hat?” he demanded.

<<So, we can compliment, steal, or ignore,>> Heady told them.

<<Ooh, let’s play tsundere! That always works in stories!>>

Heady seemed confused. <<Tzun--what now?>>

<<Tsundere, silly! It means that you go, like, kuh! And turn up your nose like so ! And that means you like somebody, but you don’t wanna say!>>

<<Oh. I think I know somebody who did that, but towards--uh, um, their brother?>>

<<Ew!>> Frisk thought, wrinkling their nose.

<<What?>>

<<Tsundere is for dating! Like like liking somebody!>> Frisk’s hands idly made the sign for like over and over, a sort of physical echolalia of the word.

<<Oh, ew, no! I mean they were always all “kuh!” and turning their nose up but they really loved, uh, him.>>

<<I think that’s just how siblings are. Do you, um, did you, uh, are you anybody’s sibling?>>

<<... I was.>> Heady said. <<What do you want to do, Frisk? I think Ice Cap is getting impatient.>>

Frisk picked ignore, and smiled as Heady’s projection turned its nose up at the teen and made a dismissive “kuh!”

“What? What are you doing?” Ice Cap demanded, and they grinned. They were less happy when the falling ice floe they’d dodged on its way up cut into their SOUL and took a few hitpoints of damage.

<<Watch out, Frisk!>>

<<I’m trying! Okay, ignore him again! I won’t get hit this time!>>

“Kuh!” The projection flipped its hair, and the snow glare caught its eye and made it glint a deep ruddy maroon. Frisk wondered how Heady had known their eye color, since they had never looked into a mirror while he was in their head.

When they saw Ice Cap’s frustration, especially when his ice wall attack didn’t even come near them, they felt triumphant. They barely noticed that his name had come up yellow.

Frisk grinned. <<I’m gonna steal that hat! Maybe we can wear it and look cool !>>

<<Hee-hee! Okay, give me a hand here?>>

Leaning on their stick, they made a lunge for his hat and grabbed it, but before they could put it on, the hat melted, and so did their adversary, turning into a simple ice cube.

<<It’s… um, just ice?>> Heady stuttered.

“What… can I… say…”

Frisk gulped. <<Oh no!>>

<<Poor little guy, I didn’t know that would happen!>>

<<Let’s compliment him? We can let him know that he doesn’t need a hat and a fake humanoid look to be cool, maybe? Or offer to re-sculpt him?>>

The projection knelt down by Ice and offered him gentle words of encouragement.

“So… So I can, I can still impress you?” it asked, its name appearing in yellow.

“Of course,” Frisk signed as their mercy ended the fight, and they caught the sense of a smile from the cube as it grew icy crab legs and skittered off into a snowbank.

Heady’s voice sounded choked with tears. <<Sorry-->>

<<Sorry for what, Heady? It’s not your fault. I could’ve spared him, but I fooled around, which was all my fault, and it turned out okay anyway.>>

<<...>>

Frisk set their jaw and started to walk off. <<Come on, let’s keep going. I want to get WARM already, it’s so freaking cold here.>>

But before they could get much farther, they saw two figures moving ahead and froze.

“Bratty! Are you sure you saw Sans all the way out here?!”

“Um, yeah , Catty? Duh? He’s always lurking near here anyway, checking his puzzles.”

Raucous laughter reached them from the two guards, wearing warm leather armor and leaning on big battle-axes as they chatted. They were bundled up in scarves and hats and gloves, even the alligator guard, whose scarf was wrapped all the way along her nose.

“Ugh, what a creep.”

“No, he’s like, really soft actually. Have you seen him carry on with his dorky brother? They’re like, almost as affectionate as we are.”

“No way! ” The cat dropped her axe in the snow to jump on her compatriot and hug her, then picked it up and kept approaching distractedly. “Anyway, he’d better be around here somewhere.”

“What if he, like, found a human?”

They both laughed. “A human? Bratty, you’re like, cray. Everyone knows G would take care of any human that got out here way before his dumb son could do that.”

“Imagine, like--” the alligator guard pulled a weird, bored-looking face--“ ‘ugh, i’m sans, and i’m gonna capture you, like, after i finish drinking this ketchup and polishing my weird prosthetic skull. wanna hear some angsty poetry about my dad? he’s only the most famous human hunter ever, like everything i wanna be. i’ve got a knife, that’s, um, like a personality trait. i’m probably not even gonna be tough enough to kill you, since i have a big stupid crush on the queen, even though, she’s probably, like, a lesbian.’ Oh my gosh.”

Frisk stomped their foot in the snow angrily, dropping their stick as their hands flew through the worst bad words they knew and starting to defend the weird skeleton. Even if he was creepy, bullies were still jerks and they knew how to deal with those.

“Oh my GOD.”

“Oh MY god.”

“What are you even saying, dude? Like, how are we being mean?”

“I think it heard us talking about Sans.”

“Like, what about it, though? We’re, like, not wrong.” They both laughed.

Frisk stamped again. “No! Just because you’re right doesn’t mean you get to be mean. If you don’t have anything nice to say you should be quiet. Besides, Sans isn’t yucky or emo or anything! He’s just Sans!”

“Aw, man, Catty. It thinks we’re being mean to Sans.”

“How does it even know Sans?”

“Doesn’t everybody know Sans? Besides, he’d never know a human from a rock, he’s so dumb.”

“Anyway, we totally have to capture you, so make sure not to accidentally die, because that would be, like, a tragedy. Probably.”

They laughed again, and Frisk picked up their stick, making their angriest face and flipping them a gesture they didn’t need sign language to understand as the world dimmed out around them.

Chapter Text

Heady mimicked the guardsmen's accents. <<Royal Predators like, totally block the way and stuff!>>

<<What the frick?>>

<<I dunno! I’m kinda new at being an expository head voice. I just exist and words come out sometimes?>>

<<That’s… honestly, relatable.>> Frisk thought with a grin. <<CHECK?>>

<<Which one?>>

<<Bratty?>>

<<Bratty, AT 14 DF 5. She’s an ice gator ! Her main SOUL trait is perseverance. And she wants to tell you that she doesn’t really care if you go to the Queen dead or alive as long as she doesn’t get in trouble.>>

The two guards crossed their axes around their SOUL, raised them, and lowered them. Frisk had to move quickly to avoid the dual blows, and set their SOUL back on the ACT button. <<CHECK Catty?>>

<<Catty, AT 14 DF 5. She’s a cool cat , and her main SOUL trait is bravery. She says “Like, no offense, but I really don’t feel that bad about killing you.”>>

Frisk gasped. <<What the heck?! That’s rude!>>

<<Hey, don’t shoot the messenger!>>

This time, a little cat made of magic scrambled up onto the top of the box that confined their SOUL’s movements, and tossed circles of hearts down to a little projection of an alligator, which snapped them up. By sticking to the places where they could stay still through a blue heart as it fell around their SOUL, Frisk avoided taking damage, and breathed a sigh of relief as the attacks faded.

Frisk fell back into a ready stance, weight on their good leg. <<Okay, what can we do?>>

<<For each of them, we can question, or touch their glove.>>

They frowned. <<What??>>

<<Trust me. The CHECK spell told me there was something essential about their gloves.>>

<<Why didn’t you tell me?>>

Heady explained patiently. <<If I told you everything, we’d be waiting all day, and they’d be sure to notice I was there, since humans can’t normally get that much info by casting a CHECK, if they can do it at all. You just have to trust me that I’m picking the projections based on good info. Have I let you down this far?>>

<<Asgore-->> Frisk couldn’t find the words, but they knew Heady saw their memory of trying to talk to him and failing.

<<...Yeah. Special case, I’m sorry. I won’t let it happen again!>>

<<Okay. Alright, I’ll trust you. Let’s touch! That! Glove!>>

<<Whose?>> Heady asked.

<<Uhh… Bratty.>>

<<Give me a hand?>>

Leaning on their stick, Frisk lunged for the alligator’s free hand. They nearly thought Heady had failed to project anything--until they saw the green-glowing projection among the falling ring of hearts. They pushed the SOUL towards it desperately, once--twice--thrice--four times--a fifth! The glove on Bratty’s hand was surrounded by a red aura, then dropped abruptly into the snow, showing a shiny ring on her fourth finger.

<<Yes! Good job, Frisk!>>

<<Thanks! Uh, is that important?>>

Heady’s voice frowned. <<I don’t know! But, um, Bratty and Catty seem really upset about something.>>

<<Well, I think we need to touch the other one’s glove to find out.>>

<<Okay!>>

This time, it was tough to catch the glove, since the hearts wavered on their way down from the cat and often the crocodile missed them and they bounced back up. They caught it only three times, but it was enough--red magic slid the glove off the distracted guard’s hand and it landed in the snow. Frisk saw a matching ring on her finger.

Heady gasped. <<Oh! They’re wedding rings!>>

<<No, wait--look, there’s only one, not both, those are engagement rings!>>

<<So they’re engaged, but not married?>>

Frisk frowned. <<Huh, we should ask them.>>

Frisk told him to make the projection for Catty, since she looked more distressed. “*What are those rings you two are wearing? Are you engaged?”

“Yeah! Like, oh my gosh, we’ve actually totally been engaged for ever.”

“Yeah!” Bratty cut in. “We’re like, gonna get married, like, soon.”

“Babe?”

“Yeah, kitten?”

“You always keep saying that, but we never do. Do you, like, not like me?”

“No way!!! But we just don’t ever have time off, kitten! I want a real wedding.”

Catty sighed. “If only Captain Alphys wasn’t so strict about scheduling, we could get married. Hey, maybe if we kill this human, we can ask for a bonus?”

Frisk yelped in their mind, dragging the SOUL away from the crashing axes. <<Hey! That didn’t work!>>

<<Who is this Captain Alphys anyway? Maybe she’s not really as strict as they say, since they seem like pretty stinky judges of character.>>

Frisk smiled despite themself. <<Maybe. Do you think they even bothered to ask her? They don’t sound like they’d even try in the first place.>>

<<We can try!>> Heady said, perking up. The projection asked them whether they’d asked, and they looked at each other guiltily.

“Well, uh, nooooo,” Catty drawled.

“She’s like, such a bitch, though.”

Frisk bristled.

“Yeah, she’s so quiet all the time, and when she does talk she just grunts at us. And she’s creepy, too! She sneaks everywhere, and she does all the executions. She says she doesn’t want us to have to, but I think she just likes getting dust on her hands.”

“And she’s got that creepy spiky black armor, and she’s always hanging out with the Queen and Sans, and they say she never even graduated high school. Yuck, should we really even ask her?”

“I mean, I really wanna get married, like, before, I dust, Kitten.”

“Yeah, babe, you’re probably, like right and stuff. Alright, stick here, human. We’ll be back. Probably. Unless we get our break, in which case, do, like, whatever.”

“Yeah, do whatever anyway. It’s not, like, really a big deal. We can’t really get hype for, like, peaceful parlay between a god-queen and the humans. Like, throw your weight around a little, girrrl!” Catty said, and spun on her heel, flouncing out.

Bratty grinned. “Like, see you later and stuff!”

Alone again, Frisk took stock of their wounds. They’d taken one blow from the axes, during the last attack--there was a crack in their SOUL and a matching deep cut on their arm, and their HP was down, as Heady told them. They ate one of the monster candies--it had an interesting flavor, not licoricey at all, even though Heady had thought it would taste like licorice. Their wound healed suddenly, as though it was never even there.

<<We should keep moving, right?>>

Heady sighed. <<Yeah… we should get inside if we can. I might be able to use my magic to keep you warm if it’s an emergency, but we shouldn’t rely on it.>>

<<And we need to get to the barrier and get out so we can set everyone free.>>

<<Yeah…>> Heady said, with the barest of sighs.

Frisk got back to their feet, and kept moving.

Chapter Text

In the next room, there was Sans again--but no Papyrus. Frisk’s heart dropped. This must be the end of their journey, since Papyrus had said Sans would kill them if he wasn’t there. Sure enough, he was looking grimly at the shiny blade of his knife, the metal plate that covered his skull glinting cruelly in the snowglare.

“hey, bud. what’s good?”

Frisk looked at him, dumbstruck by the casual ease with which he’d flipped his knife around and disappeared it into some secret pocket. “Bratty and Catty were being mean to you.”

“aw, again? starsakes, they need a hobby.”

“You’re not mad?”

“nah. i’m worth a million of them, that’s what paps says. just gotta believe it, that’ll make it true. that’s some advice for ya, kid.”

“Okay. Is there… like, a puzzle in here?” Frisk asked, nervously shifting their grip on their stick.

“yeah. i, uh, f--messed it right up, though. so, how about solving it together?”

“Sure, Sans!” They replaced the fingerspelling of his name with the namesign they’d come up for him--the sign for the word “sharps” that they learned in science class, but close to their chest, small and secretive like him.

“what’s that, kid? you gotta speak up, my eyes ain’t too sharp.”

“Was that a freaking pun?” Frisk demanded. Sans shrugged at them. “Anyway, it’s your namesign. I can change it if you like, but I think you need a sign name, now, since I want to be friends with you!!”

“oh! really? man, kid, that’s the nicest thing anyone’s done for me in a while. can ya do it for me again so i can learn it?”

They repeated the sign, and Sans replicated it a few times.

“Do you like it?”

“kid, i love it.” He repeated it again, as if he wanted to make sure it was real. “alright, let’s get crackalackin’.” He took a few steps towards the puzzle--a mess of waist-height snowy walls, red Xs, and blue Os. “i stepped on some of them on my way through, and my knife isn’t interfacing with the puzzle anymore. so i think we’ve only got one shot. wanna give me a hand solving it so we can both make it through?”

“Sure! Do you remember how the walls and tiles were laid out?”

“nah, but if you gotta see i can give you a boost.”

Frisk nodded, and suddenly they saw their SOUL outside their body, like they had seen in FIGHTs, but the world stayed in full color. Sans’ knife flicked through the air--when had he taken it out?--and suddenly it turned dark blue and rocketed them up into the air, body and all. They crashed into what felt like a wall, but they couldn’t see it. Looking down, they saw Sans, a few feet below, with both hands wrapped around the hilt of his knife and only one eyelight, which was huge, an upside-down heart shining a dark integrity blue. He looked up at them and grinned, but they saw a bead of sweat(?) drip down his face. Quickly, they looked out over the puzzle, committing it to memory, then signed to be let down. They fell into a snowbank ungracefully, but Sans was suddenly there to help them up. His eyelights flickered as he did, but he maintained a casual grin.

“can you draw it out for me, bud? my memory ain’t the greatest.”

Frisk dutifully crouched in the snow and drew out the maze walls, then frowned down at the Xs and Os.

“here, we can put ketchup in the Xs and, uh, toothpaste in the Os?” Sans knelt down next to them and pulled out a bottle of ketchup and a tube of toothpaste.

“Why are you even carrying those?” they asked him as he started to squeeze ketchup into the Xs.

“can’t a guy get hungry?”

“For toothpaste?”

“that’s to wash up after. can’t afford to have stains all over me.”

<<Because he’s made of bones, just like teeth!>>

<<That makes sense, I guess.>> Frisk had to admit the map was easier to look at now it was in color. They were able to figure it out quickly with Sans’ help, and they solved it easily, causing the spikes in the path to disappear.

Sans offered his hand for a fist bump. They grinned, and went to fist-bump him, but at the last second went under his hand and came up on the other side with their first two fingers spread in a V. “Snail!” they signed with their free hand.

Immediately, they heard Heady start to giggle. <<Snail! Hee-hee, snail!>>

Sans jumped, eyes lighting up (quite literally--his eyelights brightened) as his eternal grin widened into a real smile. “whoah, wait--do that again?” He held his fist out again, and Frisk did the trick again, a little slower. “hey, paps, where’d you go? i gotta show you something! aw, dam--dangit, he disappeared again. don’t worry, he’ll be around. come on, there’s a cool puzzle coming up but i gotta set it up. so i’ll be up ahead. stay safe, alright?”

“I’ll be fine, honest. I’m tougher than I look!”

“sounds good, kiddo.” He walked away from the exit, confusing them, though they knew he’d somehow be ahead of them anyway..

The joy in Heady’s voice made them want to flap happily. <<Snail! Hee-hee-hee-hee, you did a snail!>>

<<Yeah, wanna see something else?>>

<<Sure! What?>>

Frisk put out one fist as if to bump their other fist, but then high-fived it instead. <<Turkey!>>

Heady gasped. <<Turkey!!!>>

<<Come on, let’s find this “cool puzzle”! I wanna see Sans and Papyrus again.>>

<<Yeah!>>

They bounded off, but suddenly, the snow got--sticky? They stopped, feeling the ground around them in confusion.

<<It’s… Spider silk?>>

<<Spider s-->> Heady nearly choked on his words. <<HOLY ANGEL OF THE PROPHECY WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?>>

They were looking straight into the eight eyes of a spider-person, who was wearing tough black leather armor that somehow didn’t seem very protective, and it was looking back at them licking its lips. They saw sharp needle-like fangs in its mouth as it laughed.

“Ahuhuhuhuhu~ And what are you?”

“Nobody.”

<<Why aren't you terrified?!>>

<<It's just a spider!>>

“Ahuhuhu… no, I don’t think I can do that, deary. After all, you do have to go to the queen, don’t you?”

They shook their head, and tried to step back, but their weak leg was already knotted in the web. They gritted their teeth against the pain, curling around the leg and glaring at the spider.

“But you wouldn’t mind if my pet took a little sip first, would you, deary?”

They grabbed their stick and shook it at her boldly. “Go away!!”

<<Don't make her angry!!>>

Their SOUL appeared, hanging in front of them, and they pushed it over to the ACT button. <<What’s going on?!?>>

<<Muffet. AT 38.8, DF 18.8. Her SOUL trait is perseverance. Her favorite food is spiders. Watch out for her pet. Oh, stars, I’m gonna be sick.>>

<<You can’t, it’s my body!! You gotta pull it together, Heady! Come on!!>>

Muffet grinned wickedly, laughing. A warning blinked in the air, and they moved their SOUL out of the way. Then, cyan spiders trailing icy blue web crisscrossed around their SOUL, making them freeze in place, before a massive, gross, spiderlike, thing appeared and walked the warned-of path through the web, all the way up to Muffet, where it wound around her legs like a cat.

Heady couldn’t quite hide the fear in his voice. <<I don’t know what ACTs might work! What should we do?!>>

Frisk thought about it. <<What if we were nice to her pet? Maybe she’d let us go, I think she likes it a lot.>>

<<...A-alright, I guess...>>

This time, Frisk reached out to the spider as it walked by them, and pet it along its back. It turned to them curiously, and for a second they thought it was going to attack their SOUL where they held it unmoving in the cyan web, but instead it relaxed against them as they pet its head. It smelled like frosting, they noticed, and despite being a little creepy-looking, it was pretty soft. They scratched under its chin and it closed all five of its eyes contentedly.

“Dearie, what are you doing? Ahuhuhu, don’t you know my pet is hungry for human flesh?”

Heady collected himself and helped Frisk make a projection that responded simply, “Doesn’t look like it!”

“Ahu...hu...hu… hu… no, you are actually right, dearie. He wouldn’t hurt anything but a fly. And without him I, er, can’t exactly defeat you. So, I guess… I have to spare you. Ahuhuhu… I’ll… see you around, I suppose, dearie.” Her name appeared in yellow as she spoke. The spider looked shamefaced, and as Frisk spared her, they almost felt bad.

Almost.

Chapter Text

Frisk caught sight of Sans and Papyrus standing at the edge of a vast sheet of ice broken only by several pressure pads. He shut his eye sockets as they approached, then reopened them and regarded them with the dim sparks that shone in them. “try this puzzle on for size. don’t worry, i’ll grab ya if you slip over the edge.”

They looked over the puzzle, then sat down and drew it out in the snow. Once they had solved it, they slid across the ice, easily arriving at the pressure pads in their intended order. Standing on the button that extended a walkway across the gap between the puzzle and the rest of the woods, they waved at Sans and Papyrus happily.

“WOWIE, FIRST TIME! BROTHER, I THINK THEY MIGHT BE NEARLY AS GREAT AS YOU ARE.”

“yeah, they sure do know how to think ahead. that’s impressive, not everyone does that.”

“HEY, ARE YOU VAGUEING ME AGAIN? BECAUSE I DID THINK AHEAD BEFORE I MADE THAT PUZZLE. I JUST DIDN’T THINK VERY FAR AHEAD.”

“sure, papyrus.” Sans grinned at them, waving a dismissive hand. “head on forwards, human. we can catch you up.”

Knowing Sans and Papyrus would be ahead of them again when they wanted to be, they forged onwards. Soon they arrived at a puzzle again, and the skeleton brothers standing in front of it. As they walked in, Sans was just pulling the snail trick on his brother. “snail!” He chuckled, seeing them walk up.

“WOWIE! HUMAN, I DIDN’T KNOW THAT YOU WERE A GENIUS OF PRANKS! YOU GROW TO BE MORE AND MORE OF A MATCH FOR MY BROTHER EVERY DAY.”

“heh, really. alright, kiddo, welcome to the fiendish piano puzzle. it was made by doctor undyne, so there probably isn’t any way you’ll beat it. she taught me everything i know, you know. anyway, we got a piano right here, and it’s full of traps. like, full of them. somewhere out there in the snow is the key to the song you have to play. yeah, i know it doesn’t seem fair--trust me, this is one of the nicest of her puzzles. you don’t wanna see the colored tile maze, believe me.”

“SANS!”

“hey, we gotta capture them anyway, to send them to the queen. that’s part of the point of the puzzle. trust me, it probably won’t kill them.”

<<This is impossible!>> Frisk groaned.

<<I’ve got an idea, actually. What if we tried pressing keys to see what worked, and if we get hurt we’ll just load our SAVE and keep trying! We did that with Mettablook and it worked fine, right? I’m sure it won’t take us too long!>>

Frisk bit their lip. <<W-won’t it hurt?>>

<<Yeah… but we might freeze out in the snow looking for the answer. And what if it’s actually not trapped, and the trap is tricking us to get lost out there instead of staying here where Papyrus and Sans can keep an eye on us?>>

<<Hmm… I guess that makes sense, but I’m scared to get hurt, and what if I panic again?>>

Heady was warming to his idea as he spoke. <<We need to be brave! You can’t be a crybaby, Frisk, we gotta do this!>>

Frisk sighed. <<Alright… I guess I trust you.>> They sat down at the piano and pressed a key hesitantly. There was a low rumble, and they covered their face. But instead of a trap, the whole piano just collapsed, and as they rushed out of the way, combusted in deep blue flame and a string of tiny explosions.

Sans looked at Papyrus. Papyrus looked at Sans. Both of them looked at Frisk. Sans threw up his hands in a shrug, darkness flashed across their vision, and he disappeared entirely.

Papyrus looked at them. Frisk looked at him, and very slowly and deliberately signed, “What.”

“MY BROTHER CAN TELEPORT! HE CALLS IT SHORTCUTTING. ISN’T HE THE COOLEST?”

They sighed, wondering if these shenanigans were just normal for monsters. Walking onwards, they noticed that Papyrus had stopped to investigate his newly-tied shoelaces. On the other side of a thin path through a copse of tall trees, they came to a fork in the road--quite literally, as someone had planted a plastic fork at the crossroads. They suspected it was Sans. Taking the path to the south, they saw Papyrus leaning against the wall. “HIYA, HUMAN!”

“Hi, Papyrus!”

“I’M TAKING A NAP. AWAY FROM MY BROTHER, SINCE I CAN’T LET HIM WIN THE ARGUMENT.”

“Ooookay. Well, uh, sweet dreams!” they signed, watching him stretch out against the wall and then shut his sockets. A few steps down the path, a deer-looking thing rushed out from the tree-line and started a FIGHT before they could collect themself.

<<Alright, let’s check!>> Frisk said, as soon as they’d got their bearings.

<<Gyftrot, AT 16 DF 8. His SOUL trait is justice. He’s a reindeer, so a bunch of local teens were tormenting him again by decorating him like a tree, and he’s going to go report them to the Guard.>>

<<Why’s he fighting us, then?!>>

Heady’s voice carried the sense of a confused shake of the head. <<I don’t know! He seems completely furious.>>

Gyftrot growled at them, glaring from one eye. The other was covered by a taped on lenticular bookmark of a smug teen winking. He shook his head, and baubles fell around their SOUL as they dodged.

<<Worst Christmas idea ever: decorate a living, angry, deer.>> Frisk grumbled. <<Alright, what can we do?>>

<<Undecorate, decorate, or gift.>>

<<Let’s undecorate him, since he doesn’t like the decorations!>>

Heady asked them to lend a hand, and they reached out and removed the bookmark, leaving only a strand of tinsel and… a sock full of something lumpy?

He harrumphed. “That’s a little better.” Three gift boxes appeared below their SOUL. One turned blue, then white and they mixed around, then each one found a spot on the floor and zoomed upwards. Wholly by luck, the one directly below their SOUL turned blue again, passing around them harmlessly.

<<What the heck??>> Frisk demanded.

<<I think you have to remember which box turns blue, then go over that one? That seems impossible!>>

<<Let’s see if we can undecorate him quickly!>>

They grabbed the tinsel, pulling it free. It was incredibly scratchy, and they screwed up their face, dropping it on the ground immediately.

“Uh… thanks, I guess,” He grumbled. More baubles fell, and Frisk dodged quickly, preferring that attack to the gifts.

The sock, when they grabbed it, turned out to be full of chicken nuggets. Immediately, they shoved a few into their mouth.

Heady gasped. <<What? What are you--?>>

<<Hey, free food!>>

<<Yeah, from a sock on a reindeer ! You don’t know where it’s been!>>

They shrugged. <<It’s tasty.>>

Heady had no response to that, only informing them that they’d recovered 3 HP somehow.

“A weight has been lifted.” Gyftrot told them as they dodged the falling baubles, his name coming up yellow, and they spared him quickly after it was their turn again. He gave them a curt nod, then trotted off in the direction he’d came, a few gold coins landing in their pockets as he went.

<<Frisk?>>

<<Mmmhm?>>

<<What’s “Christmas”?>>

Frisk thought about the question for a minute, then said. <<It’s a Christian human thing. They think there was this dude who was G-d’s child and he died and came back, so they made a religion about it. Christmas is his birthday except it’s not really, it’s just different Yule, and people decorate trees and give gifts.>>

<<Oh, so it’s like if Gyftmas was about you?>>

This knocked Frisk for a loop. <<W-- What?>>

<<Well, you died, but you’re alive now, and-->>

<<No, what’s Gyftmas?>>

Heady had to think about this question as well--clearly he was somehow not prepared for Frisk not to know what Gyftmas was. <<It’s a reference to a monster who lived in Snowdin a long time ago. Teens tormented him by decorating his antlers, so we decorated trees to make him feel better, and put gifts under them for each other!>>

<<Huh, that’s weird! Anyway, is that… Papyrus up ahead?!>> Frisk rushed closer as quickly as they could with their leg, and saw that Papyrus was indeed asleep in the snow. They shook his shoulder gently, and his eyesockets opened.

“MM? WHAT IS IT, HUMAN?”

“Weren’t you, um, going to sleep over there?”

He shrugged one bony shoulder, his eyes shutting again. “IT’S COMFORTABLE HERE TOO.”

Frisk looked at him, dumbstruck, as he fell back asleep and began to snore gently. Continuing down the path, they came across a cave in the snowy cliff wall at their right. They had to pull themself up to get over the edge, but they made it, and found themself walking along a thin walkway of gently glowing blue crystal. It stretched on for ages, and when they reached the end there was nothing but a door with the winged symbol on it. They tried the knob, but the door was securely locked.

<<That’s weird.>>

<<Yeah! What kind of secrets have you got in there, Papyrus?>>

<<Yeah!>> Frisk banged their stick on the ground in emphatic agreement, and started to walk out. They could swear they saw… something weird in their peripheral vision, but they kept their face steadily towards the exit and it didn’t bother them. When they left, they saw that Papyrus had somehow moved back to his earlier position farther up the path. Though it pained their leg, they ran over to him.

“Wake UP! What are you DOING?”

“MH? HUMAN, CAN’T YOU LET ME TAKE A NAP?”

“But you’re moving all over the place!”

“HUH, AM I? THAT’S WEIRD.” He shrugged again, pulled his hood over his face, and went back to sleep.

An idea struck them, and they turned around and strode confidently towards the cave. Suddenly, they saw Papyrus, still sleeping, zoom through the air surrounded by a blue aura. He flew down to the end of the path, landed in a snowbank, and rolled over, grumbling quietly, before falling back asleep fully. They stood dumbstruck.

<<Is he alright ?!>>

Heady seemed completely dumbstruck. <<I don’t know! Why would he do that?>>

<<That’s him doing that?>>

A feeling of a nod from Heady struck Frisk. <<Yeah, since I don’t think anyone else around is likely to know blue magic. Sans definitely does, but I don’t see him anywhere around here.>>

<<Monsters seem really weird.>>

<<Hey!!>>

Frisk backpedalled. <<I mean, in a cool way! Humans are mostly the same and super mean when you aren’t, at least the grownups are. But even grownup monsters seem really cool and weird!>>

<<Hm.>> Heady seemed almost upset about something, and they felt bad.

<<I really didn’t mean to be mean, honest! I’m weird too!>>

He shook his head, or rather transmitted the idea of it. <<I’m not mad! I just… well, it’s not a big deal, Frisk. Let’s just keep going, alright?>>

Chapter Text

Frisk caught sight of Sans and Papyrus standing at the edge of a vast sheet of ice broken only by several pressure pads. He shut his eye sockets as they approached, then reopened them and regarded them with the dim sparks that shone in them. “try this puzzle on for size. don’t worry, i’ll grab ya if you slip over the edge.”

They looked over the puzzle, then sat down and drew it out in the snow. Once they had solved it, they slid across the ice, easily arriving at the pressure pads in their intended order. Standing on the button that extended a walkway across the gap between the puzzle and the rest of the woods, they waved at Sans and Papyrus happily.

“WOWIE, FIRST TIME! BROTHER, I THINK THEY MIGHT BE NEARLY AS GREAT AS YOU ARE.”

“yeah, they sure do know how to think ahead. that’s impressive, not everyone does that.”

“HEY, ARE YOU VAGUEING ME AGAIN? BECAUSE I DID THINK AHEAD BEFORE I MADE THAT PUZZLE. I JUST DIDN’T THINK VERY FAR AHEAD.”

“sure, papyrus.” Sans grinned at them, waving a dismissive hand. “head on forwards, human. we can catch you up.”

Knowing Sans and Papyrus would be ahead of them again when they wanted to be, they forged onwards. Soon they arrived at a puzzle again, and the skeleton brothers standing in front of it. As they walked in, Sans was just pulling the snail trick on his brother. “snail!” He chuckled, seeing them walk up.

“WOWIE! HUMAN, I DIDN’T KNOW THAT YOU WERE A GENIUS OF PRANKS! YOU GROW TO BE MORE AND MORE OF A MATCH FOR MY BROTHER EVERY DAY.”

“heh, really. alright, kiddo, welcome to the fiendish piano puzzle. it was made by doctor undyne, so there probably isn’t any way you’ll beat it. she taught me everything i know, you know. anyway, we got a piano right here, and it’s full of traps. like, full of them. somewhere out there in the snow is the key to the song you have to play. yeah, i know it doesn’t seem fair--trust me, this is one of the nicest of her puzzles. you don’t wanna see the colored tile maze, believe me.”

“SANS!”

“hey, we gotta capture them anyway, to send them to the queen. that’s part of the point of the puzzle. trust me, it probably won’t kill them.”

<<This is impossible!>> Frisk groaned.

<<I’ve got an idea, actually. What if we tried pressing keys to see what worked, and if we get hurt we’ll just load our SAVE and keep trying! We did that with Mettablook and it worked fine, right? I’m sure it won’t take us too long!>>

Frisk bit their lip. <<W-won’t it hurt?>>

<<Yeah… but we might freeze out in the snow looking for the answer. And what if it’s actually not trapped, and the trap is tricking us to get lost out there instead of staying here where Papyrus and Sans can keep an eye on us?>>

<<Hmm… I guess that makes sense, but I’m scared to get hurt, and what if I panic again?>>

Heady was warming to his idea as he spoke. <<We need to be brave! You can’t be a crybaby, Frisk, we gotta do this!>>

Frisk sighed. <<Alright… I guess I trust you.>> They sat down at the piano and pressed a key hesitantly. There was a low rumble, and they covered their face. But instead of a trap, the whole piano just collapsed, and as they rushed out of the way, combusted in deep blue flame and a string of tiny explosions.

Sans looked at Papyrus. Papyrus looked at Sans. Both of them looked at Frisk. Sans threw up his hands in a shrug, darkness flashed across their vision, and he disappeared entirely.

Papyrus looked at them. Frisk looked at him, and very slowly and deliberately signed, “What.”

“MY BROTHER CAN TELEPORT! HE CALLS IT SHORTCUTTING. ISN’T HE THE COOLEST?”

They sighed, wondering if these shenanigans were just normal for monsters. Walking onwards, they noticed that Papyrus had stopped to investigate his newly-tied shoelaces. On the other side of a thin path through a copse of tall trees, they came to a fork in the road--quite literally, as someone had planted a plastic fork at the crossroads. They suspected it was Sans. Taking the path to the south, they saw Papyrus leaning against the wall. “HIYA, HUMAN!”

“Hi, Papyrus!”

“I’M TAKING A NAP. AWAY FROM MY BROTHER, SINCE I CAN’T LET HIM WIN THE ARGUMENT.”

“Ooookay. Well, uh, sweet dreams!” they signed, watching him stretch out against the wall and then shut his sockets. A few steps down the path, a deer-looking thing rushed out from the tree-line and started a FIGHT before they could collect themself.

<<Alright, let’s check!>> Frisk said, as soon as they’d got their bearings.

<<Gyftrot, AT [tk] DF [tk]. His SOUL trait is justice. He’s a reindeer, so a bunch of local teens were tormenting him again by decorating him like a tree, and he’s going to go report them to the Guard.>>

<<Why’s he fighting us, then?!>>

Heady’s voice carried the sense of a confused shake of the head. <<I don’t know! He seems completely furious.>>

Gyftrot growled at them, glaring from one eye. The other was covered by a taped on lenticular bookmark of a smug teen winking. He shook his head, and baubles fell around their SOUL as they dodged.

<<Worst Christmas idea ever: decorate a living, angry, deer.>> Frisk grumbled. <<Alright, what can we do?>>

<<Undecorate, decorate, or gift.>>

<<Let’s undecorate him, since he doesn’t like the decorations!>>

Heady asked them to lend a hand, and they reached out and removed the bookmark, leaving only a strand of tinsel and… a sock full of something lumpy?

He harrumphed. “That’s a little better.” Three gift boxes appeared below their SOUL. One turned blue, then white and they mixed around, then each one found a spot on the floor and zoomed upwards. Wholly by luck, the one directly below their SOUL turned blue again, passing around them harmlessly.

<<What the heck??>> Frisk demanded.

<<I think you have to remember which box turns blue, then go over that one? That seems impossible!>>

<<Let’s see if we can undecorate him quickly!>>

They grabbed the tinsel, pulling it free. It was incredibly scratchy, and they screwed up their face, dropping it on the ground immediately.

“Uh… thanks, I guess,” He grumbled. More baubles fell, and Frisk dodged quickly, preferring that attack to the gifts.

The sock, when they grabbed it, turned out to be full of chicken nuggets. Immediately, they shoved a few into their mouth.

Heady gasped. <<What? What are you--?>>

<<Hey, free food!>>

<<Yeah, from a sock on a reindeer ! You don’t know where it’s been!>>

They shrugged. <<It’s tasty.>>

Heady had no response to that, only informing them that they’d recovered 3 HP somehow.

“A weight has been lifted.” Gyftrot told them as they dodged the falling baubles, his name coming up yellow, and they spared him quickly after it was their turn again. He gave them a curt nod, then trotted off in the direction he’d came, a few gold coins landing in their pockets as he went.

<<Frisk?>>

<<Mmmhm?>>

<<What’s “Christmas”?>>

Frisk thought about the question for a minute, then said. <<It’s a Christian human thing. They think there was this dude who was G-d’s child and he died and came back, so they made a religion about it. Christmas is his birthday except it’s not really, it’s just different Yule, and people decorate trees and give gifts.>>

<<Oh, so it’s like if Gyftmas was about you?>>

This knocked Frisk for a loop. <<W-- What?>>

<<Well, you died, but you’re alive now, and-->>

<<No, what’s Gyftmas?>>

Heady had to think about this question as well--clearly he was somehow not prepared for Frisk not to know what Gyftmas was. <<It’s a reference to a monster who lived in Snowdin a long time ago. Teens tormented him by decorating his antlers, so we decorated trees to make him feel better, and put gifts under them for each other!>>

<<Huh, that’s weird! Anyway, is that… Papyrus up ahead?!>> Frisk rushed closer as quickly as they could with their leg, and saw that Papyrus was indeed asleep in the snow. They shook his shoulder gently, and his eyesockets opened.

“MM? WHAT IS IT, HUMAN?”

“Weren’t you, um, going to sleep over there?”

He shrugged one bony shoulder, his eyes shutting again. “IT’S COMFORTABLE HERE TOO.”

Frisk looked at him, dumbstruck, as he fell back asleep and began to snore gently. Continuing down the path, they came across a cave in the snowy cliff wall at their right. They had to pull themself up to get over the edge, but they made it, and found themself walking along a thin walkway of gently glowing blue crystal. It stretched on for ages, and when they reached the end there was nothing but a door with the winged symbol on it. They tried the knob, but the door was securely locked.

<<That’s weird.>>

<<Yeah! What kind of secrets have you got in there, Papyrus?>>

<<Yeah!>> Frisk banged their stick on the ground in emphatic agreement, and started to walk out. They could swear they saw… something weird in their peripheral vision, but they kept their face steadily towards the exit and it didn’t bother them. When they left, they saw that Papyrus had somehow moved back to his earlier position farther up the path. Though it pained their leg, they ran over to him.

“Wake UP! What are you DOING?”

“MH? HUMAN, CAN’T YOU LET ME TAKE A NAP?”

“But you’re moving all over the place!”

“HUH, AM I? THAT’S WEIRD.” He shrugged again, pulled his hood over his face, and went back to sleep.

An idea struck them, and they turned around and strode confidently towards the cave. Suddenly, they saw Papyrus, still sleeping, zoom through the air surrounded by a blue aura. He flew down to the end of the path, landed in a snowbank, and rolled over, grumbling quietly, before falling back asleep fully. They stood dumbstruck.

<<Is he alright ?!>>

Heady seemed completely dumbstruck. <<I don’t know! Why would he do that?>>

<<That’s him doing that?>>

A feeling of a nod from Heady struck Frisk. <<Yeah, since I don’t think anyone else around is likely to know blue magic. Sans definitely does, but I don’t see him anywhere around here.>>

<<Monsters seem really weird.>>

<<Hey!!>>

Frisk backpedalled. <<I mean, in a cool way! Humans are mostly the same and super mean when you aren’t, at least the grownups are. But even grownup monsters seem really cool and weird!>>

<<Hm.>> Heady seemed almost upset about something, and they felt bad.

<<I really didn’t mean to be mean, honest! I’m weird too!>>

He shook his head, or rather transmitted the idea of it. <<I’m not mad! I just… well, it’s not a big deal, Frisk. Let’s just keep going, alright?>>

Chapter Text

Frisk shifted their grip on their stick nervously and continued down the other path of the fork. It lead them past a gap in the trees filled with thick, sticky, spiderwebs that made Heady want to shudder. A few yards away from it, the spider pet that Muffet had set on them was sitting in the snow, sculpting the snow with its front legs. It had made a big lump with a hole in it, and then placed several oblong snowballs into it. A monster with rows of glittery scales and fins instead of ears greeted them politely, then pointed conspiratorially towards the spider.

“That spider considers itself a baker, but doesn’t ever manage to make anything. It doesn’t help that donuts aren’t usually made out of snow.”

When Frisk touched the SAVE point, Heady narrated for them. <<That spider will n-never give up trying to make the perfect snow-nut. The p-power of innocent awful little creepy-crawly things shines within you.❤️Determination/Magic? File Saved.>>

<<Hahaha, that was a really good pun, actually!>>

Next, the path lead out of the forest at last, into a field filled with little lumps of snow. They poked one eagerly, curious.

<<It’s a snow poff!>>

They poked another. <<Whoah, a snow poff!>>

Heady was giggling as he spoke. <<It’s another snow poff!>>

<<Who could’ve built all of these snow poffs!>>

<<This is so many snow poffs!>>

His laughter was infectious. <<We’ve got a real snow poff enthusiast on our hands, Frisk!>>

<<Oh my stars, another snow poff!!>>

<<Snow p--wait!! There’s… cash in there? Cool, 30 G! And a snow poff!>>

<<And another!!>>

Finally, Heady was giggling too hard for them investigate any more snow poffs. They approached the last one with a wide grin on their face--it was in the middle of the road, and they’d just thought of what joke they wanted to make, when a tail pushed its way out of the snow. It was fuzzy, and white with a black stripe down the center. Would it belong to a cat? The face that popped out seemed kind of cat-like, with triangular ears and long whiskers around an excited almost-humanoid face.

Frisk jumped back. It certainly wasn’t a cat, whatever it was--the size of a person, it was wearing full armor and carrying a huge sword.

“HOI!!1!” it yelled, and Frisk had only seconds to wonder how it said that with its mouth before they were dragged into a FIGHT.

<<CHECK that!! What is it?!>>

<<It’s Temmie!! Rated tem outta tem! Her SOUL trait is perseverance, and she’s wearing legendary Temmie armor! This isn’t just any Tem, it’s a college educated Tem!”

“AWAWAWA!! Human,,, ssuch DaNger!!”

<<She doesn’t… sound college educated??>> Frisk demanded, holding stock-still as Temmie’s sword turned cyan and she swung it around in a circle, sweeping over their SOUL.

<<Don’t believe that for an instant! She’s dangerous!>> Heady cautioned.

Frisk moved their SOUL onto the ACT button. <<What can we do about it?>>

<<Beckon, pet, play, ignore or flakes are our options.>>

<<Flakes??>>

<<You’re right, I don’t think it’ll work if we don’t have any. Pick one of the others.>>

<<Uhh, let’s play with it!>>

Heady’s voice frowned. <<I don’t think it’s excited enough yet!>>

Frisk stared at the panting, quivering, cat-dog- thing . <<NOT EXCITED? Okay, okay, you can beckon, maybe? So it can’t use the whole reach of its sword?>>

<<Good idea!>> Heady cast the spell, and the glowing outline had barely twitched a finger before Temmie bounded over, tossing snow aside as it went. Closer up, Frisk could see that the armor it wore was made out of paper-mache, painted in discordant greys. Temmie tossed her sword down, reared up to a terrifying height, and planted her front feet on the other side of Frisk. She started to crabwalk, long hind legs fencing in Frisk’s SOUL and forcing them to sidestep with her. She reversed direction abruptly, then cast her weight to one side and flopped onto the ground in a u-shaped ring around them, showing thick fur poking through the joints of her armor. Her legs were stretched to the width of spaghetti, and made strange furrows in the snow. “HHHGGHGH…. HuMAn!! HOI! HoI hOOman!”

<<Looks like she wants some attention.>>

Frisk shook their head warily. <<Alright, you can pet her…>>

At the slightest touch of the projection’s hand, Temmie rolled over and started to whine. It took only a few hesitant pets before she was headbutting the projection’s hand, which turned suddenly to licking, and then playful nips. She jumped up as the projection disappeared and picked up her sword in her mouth, rotating her head 360 degrees as the cyan blade passed around the stunned Frisk’s SOUL. “MGHFHMFF!! HFWMMHF!!” she shouted around the blade.

Frisk was officially freaking out. <<WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON?>>

<<T-this is just regular temmie behavior, I think. The laws of physics don’t really apply to tems.>>

<<I don’t know what to do!! I don’t think she wants pets, and it’s a little late to ignore her, so… maybe play with her?>>

Heady thought. <<Can you throw a snowball for me?>>

Frisk knelt in the snow, feeling it soak into the knees of their pants, and scooped up a snowball. They threw it as far as they could, and Temmie watched it splat in a snowbank. “SNO?!?! OKoK I;M fEtch!!” As Frisk watched, her face grew and grew to the size and shape of a shovel, and she drove it all around the clearing, annihilating the snow poffs and plowing all the snow over next to Frisk. She looked at their SOUL, panting. “FEched it!!”

Then yet again, she planted her feet around Frisk’s SOUL and shuffled around happily before flopping in the snowbank.

Frisk’s eyes widened still more, the chill wind stinging them. <<Hashem…>>

<<She seems tired! Good going!>>

They shook their head. <<From your lips to G-d’s ears. Let’s try giving more pets?>>

<<Alright!!>> Heady cast the projection quickly and Frisk felt him leaning into the spell, as if trying to feel the fur himself. The tem curled up around them, pushing its head against their projection gently.

“MrrR?? AWAWA… HoomaN PET PET PET PET PET??”

Their SOUL hung in the air unattacked--Temmie was too cozy even to attack, her name visible next to her in yellow. Quickly they spared her, and she twisted around to see their body as it came into view again and the SOUL receded into it. Leaving the paper-mache armor behind, she wiggled out and walked over to them, licked them on the face, and dove back into the armor head first. Somehow, the armor grabbed its sword and walked off, leaving them stunned--and with an itchy face.

<<You’re allergic! Oh no, I didn’t realize!>>

<<What?>> Frisk was startled by the non-sequitur.

<<Oh, I’m stupid! Of course you were scared of her, if you’re allergic! Haha, I’m such a dingus.>>

The message carried the sense of an odd, brittle, grin, and Frisk’s brow furrowed instinctively. <<It’s, um, not a big deal?>>

<<I, um, haha! It’s n-nothing. Just grab some snow and rub it on the itchy places, alright?>>

Frisk obliged, wondering if he was alright but keeping quiet in the headspace.

Chapter Text

The path turned into a long rock bridge over a yawning ravine, without handrails or safety nets, so they proceeded on their hands and knees for what felt like an eternity. Suddenly, they heard Sans cough.

“you alright there, kiddo?”

They stood hesitantly. “Yeah,” they signed.

“good, because this is the last puzzle. the best puzzle, too. i call it: bad time.”

They signed that tentatively back to him, afraid they’d misheard. “Bad time?”

“yup, you got it!” He swung his knife casually through the air, and threateningly, silently, machines rose out of the ravine and descended from the rocky ceiling. “when i turn it on, lasers will fire, bombs will explode, hand-coded grey goo nanobots will begin to eat away at the bridge, flamethrowers will create a maze of pure fire, and that cat--” he waved a hand at a grey tabby cat hanging from a rope-- “well, it gives me nightmares just to think about it.”

Frisk shivered. <<Maybe Asgore was right, and I should’ve stayed with him. I don’t know how we’re going to get through this.>>

<<W-well, we can’t give up!!>>

“you ready, kiddo? you, um, got any last words?”

Frisk gritted their teeth and began to sign the Shema.

“what’s that, bud?”

“The last prayer I’m supposed to say before I die.”

“oh. um. well, uh. step forward when you’re ready, uh, kiddo.”

“ Shema yisrael Adonai eloheinu Adonai echad .” Frisk took a deep breath. Their hands were quivering, their stick shaking so hard they feared they’d lose it. They stepped forward.

They stepped forward.

They took another step forward, stopped, and cocked their head quizzically at Sans.

He looked at the knife in his hands. They could see the shining light in his left eye from this distance, but not his right; they wondered what that meant. “i’m gonna turn it on now, buddy.”

They nodded resolutely. The world hung silent, as if seconds had stopped passing altogether and were currently on strike.

“yeah. take another step further, i’ll activate it.”

They took a few hesitant steps.

“you better watch out. because when you take one more step, this trap will turn on.”

They both looked at each other for a long time.

<<Is he gonna start it?>> Heady wondered.

<<Hell if I know! He’s supposed to be a killer! Why isn’t he just going to--!>> Frisk clenched their fists and beat down their thoughts. <<We’ll just keep going, I guess. All we can do, really.>>

<<F-->>

Frisk took another step forward, cutting him off. Sans looked at them curiously, but stayed still. Planting their stick, they took a big step, then gestured to their foot with their free hand.

“yeah! if you take another step forward, you are really not gonna like what happens next!”

<< Nu?!? Start it then!>> They stepped forward again, taking big, quick, steps so it would be clear to him they weren’t scared.

“are you ready? because when you take your next step, i’m gonna turn it on!”

They were close enough to see the light in his left eye was shaped like an upside-down heart and flickering yellow-blue, yellow-blue, yellow-blue, and that his right eye was squeezed shut. A bead of sweat (how did he sweat??) crawled down the edge of the plate on his skull.

He shook his head, changing his grip on the knife. “i’m warning ya, kiddo! one more step and i’ll turn this thing on!”

He was so close they could see themself reflected in the blade of his knife. They ran to him, setting foot finally on snowy earth and not the thin rock bridge.

Sans dropped his knife into the snow and threw up his hands, the trap sliding away. “wow, buddy, you snuck right past me.”

“Why did you cheat it?”

“hey now, don’t go accusing me of things. you snuck by me fair and square.”

“I didn’t! You just didn’t turn it on!”

“huh, that’s an odd way of sayin’ you were just too sneaky for me, kiddo. come on, snowdin town’s right around the bend. you look like you need to get warm.”

They did, so they didn’t press the point. Sans disappeared in a flash of darkness suddenly, and they noticed his knife was gone too, leaving behind a gash in the snow.

Papyrus ambled up from behind them. “WELL! I HAD A REFRESHING NAP, HOW ARE YOU, HUMAN?”

“Okay…”

“EXCELLENT! WAS THE ‘BAD TIME’ VERY DIFFICULT FOR YOU?”

“He didn’t, um… turn it on.”

“OH.” Papyrus looked down at them. “WELL. THAT COMPLICATES THINGS.”

“Does it?” A bout of shivering wracked them in the middle of their words, but Papyrus seemed to understand.

“YES. I… DON’T KNOW WHAT HE’LL DO NEXT. PLEASE, HUMAN, MAKE SURE YOU UNDERSTAND HOW HIS BLUE ATTACKS WORK?”

“Alright. I can do that.” Frisk signed. “Thanks, Papyrus.” They used the namesign they’d picked for him, the word for a cooking pot signed big and loud like he was.

“WOWIE!! WAS THAT A NAMESIGN? FOR ME?!”

Frisk nodded happily.

“THAT’S SO SWEET, HUMAN! WOW… I DON’T THINK I’VE EVER HAD A NAME SIGN BEFORE! COME ON, YOU HAVE TO LET ME SHOW YOU AROUND TOWN.”

Frisk signed a happy “sure!” and found themself suddenly lifted, their SOUL appearing faint and blue and disappearing quickly as Papyrus used his magic to set them on his shoulders. They put their stick in their inventory so they could give an excited flap of their hands.

“ALRIGHTY! SNOWDIN TOWN, HERE WE COME!”

Chapter Text

Papyrus walked briskly around the corner, and Frisk saw the town glowing before their eyes. The path cut through the snow turned to a cobblestone lined with gently glowing orange lines of some sort, and the way was lined on their left with warm log-cabin looking buildings. The closest building had a sign out front with a dragon curled around a huge cup of tea, framed by the word’s “Yi’s general store--A hoard of good deals.” Next to it was an inn, with a sign that said “The Burrow” in pretty, curling letters. Papyrus brought them into the general store, stooping so they wouldn’t bang their head on the ceiling.

“YOU STILL HAVE THE PRIZE FROM THE BALL GAME, RIGHT?” Papyrus asked, swiveling his skull on his neck all the way around to look at them.

They nodded, and he lifted them down.

“YOU SHOULD PICK SOMETHING OUT! YOU MUST BE FREEZING!”

The store had everything--they ran their hand along bolts of fabric, peeked down aisles of canned food of every sort, for carnivores and omnivores and herbivores and monsters with even stranger diets that even Heady wasn’t sure how to pronounce, looked at gardening tools and heavy duty shovels shaped for monsters with strange limbs, sniffed spices they’d never heard of before, and looked longingly at individually wrapped candies with strange names that Heady said he’d loved when he was alive. They ran nearly into a young, scaly, purple monster wearing a course grey-brown beanie. A shock of brown-black hair ran into their eyes, and they were wearing a knitted sweater over a striped shirt and torn jeans.

“Watch where you’re walking.”

“Sorry! I didn’t hit you, did I?”

“Nah. Hey, you’re a kid, right?”

They gestured at their striped shirt. “Yeah?”

“And you’re not from around here?”

They shook their head.

The purple kid smiled ever-so-slightly and stuck out one mittened hand. “Guess that makes us friends. Name’s Susie. She/her.”

Frisk shook her hand. “Frisk. They/them.”

“What the hell kinda name is Fuh-risk? Your parents stiffed ya, man.”

They shrugged. They weren't sure how to correct the mispronunciation, since they couldn't speak.

“Then again, what kinda name is ‘Sans’ or ‘Papyrus’?” Susie frowned a little, thinking. “Heyyy, wait a moment! Do you think Sans and Papyrus are from around here? They don’t talk like they are, and, I mean, they’re grownups, but-- wait, they are grownups, right? Well, I mean, I guess Papyrus might be a tall teenager. Huh.”

“You could ask him! He’s right back there.” They motioned to where Papyrus was staring down at a grocery list like he couldn’t read it at all. Susie ambled off in his direction.

After that they kept going more slowly, taking their time to take in all the strange goods. Finally, they arrived at the back of the store where the counter was, and saw a door open and the owner come out.

Yi was tall, at least as tall as Papyrus, and twice as broad. Their gaze traveled up his warm winter clothing to his scaled, taloned, hands, clinging to a long package wrapped in brown paper, and finally to his face--a bearded dragon face, like they’d seen in anime and manga, with kind blue eyes and long whiskers. He smiled at them, showing broad, flat, teeth. “Greetings, traveller! How can I help you?” They noticed that his voice carried a hint of a D/deaf accent, and a hint more of a Southern twang.

Frisk signed “Papyrus--” spelling his name out-- “said you made hot chocolate?”

Yi nodded at them, smile widening, and set down the package so he could sign back. “Certainly! I make hot chocolate, or hot carob if you’re allergic, and I also make fresh snickerdoodles. Hot chocolate is 25 G, and snickerdoodles are 22 G for two.”

Frisk smiled. “Hot chocolate, please?”

“Just a moment, okay?” Yi disappeared back into the back of the shop, and came back with a steaming thermos of hot chocolate. “Here you go!”

“Thanks!” Frisk said, passing him the gold coins.

Yi put them into the till, then stepped out from behind the counter and came to crouch next to them. “I can’t remember the last time I saw a new face around Snowdin, much less a one who speaks sign language. You don’t look like an exchange student. Are you here all alone?”

They put their hot chocolate into their inventory for later. “Well, Papyrus is with me somewhere, but I came to Snowdin alone. What is it like here?”

“Well, Knight Knight’s got a diner, and the Queen drops into Rudinn school every so often to teach the kids all about history and civics. If you’re tired, you can get a room at the Burrow. It’s my husband’s inn, it’s right next door. If you’re bored, you can join the Snowdin Carolers or the robotics club--I think Papyrus helps out at the robotics club every so often. Just watch out for Lord Gaster, he’s always around and his temper’s got even shorter since the Queen yelled at him for how Grey he acts still. Don’t go pranking him, even if Sans does it. You’ll get executed for sure if you aren’t his kid.”

Frisk nodded, thinking. They repeated a sign they hadn’t recognized. “Grey?”

“Think back to your history class. A few decades ago, the Grey Guard were the Queen’s assassins, but when the Justice SOUL went to the Queen under--” he waggled his talons, looking for a word-- “mysterious circumstances, she closed it down. But we still call anyone who acts all suspicious and even--” he made the sign very small, as if afraid of being seen-- “murderous, Grey. Like Captain Alphys, or Lord Gaster. Don’t they say that where you’re from?”

Frisk realized suddenly that he didn’t know they were human. They nodded carefully. “What’s the town like?”

“It’s the same as ever. A little claustrophobic, and of course the skeleton brothers keep life… interesting. They just showed up one day--none of us knew Lord Gaster had sons. Papyrus, well, he’s a great customer. Always making wonderful food, and he shares with everyone. He’s studying in Hotlands too. And Sans, well… he’s not nearly as mean as he looks. The whole Snowdin Predatory Unit has those special smart weapons of his, and armor too. But he’s a good fellow. And, well, he won’t let it be too long before we go free. He’s practically coming apart at the joints for lack of somewhere to go.”

They nodded. A rack of old clothes caught their eye, and they asked about it; it was the only thing that looked old and out of shape among the neat racks and shelves of merchandise.

“Oh, those? They’re reproductions of old human clothes I tried my hand at making. The originals are all in the museum at the capitol of course, and I’m afraid these aren’t very good. You can take a look if you want, though.”

They did, curious about the other humans. To their surprise, they recognized the clothes from one of the statues in the RUINS--a chest binder like one of their friends had had in the hostel, a long-sleeved, collared, button-down shirt, slacks, socks, and leather shoes, a single pink winter glove, and a bandanna with a pattern of muscles in pastel blue, pink, and white.

They tapped Yi on the arm. “Can I buy the bandanna?”

He looked curiously at them. “Buy it? Whatever for?”

“It’s trans pride colored!”

His hands moved quickly as he thought to himself. After a few seconds, he turned back to them. “Alright. How does 30 G sound?”

They counted out the money, and smiled as they equipped it instead of their ribbon.

<<You equipped the mandanna!>> Heady chipped in, though he seemed very tired.

“Thanks!”

“Come again sometime! Don’t be a stranger, kiddo!”

They walked back towards the front of the shop, and found Papyrus sticking his hands into a box of pretty rocks.

“HI HUMAN! DID YOU GET ANYTHING COOL?”

“Trans pride bandanna!”

“WHAT’S THAT?”

“It’s a bandanna a human designed for showing other people that you’re proud of having changed your gender from the one you were told you had when you were born, like me!”

“R-REALLY? WOWIE! I WANT SOMETHING LIKE THAT! THAT’S A REALLY COOL IDEA, TO WEAR SOMETHING SO PEOPLE KNOW YOU’RE CHANGING GENDERS. IF METTABLOOK HAD SOMETHING LIKE THAT, I’M SURE WE’D’VE MET EVEN SOONER!”

Frisk didn’t know what to say, so they just smiled.

“ARE YOU TIRED YET, HUMAN? YOUR LETTER SAID THAT I SHOULD LET YOU STAY AT MY HOUSE, SO YOU SHOULD DEFINITELY COME BY! HERE, I’LL TAKE YOU BY THE UNDERSNOW TUNNELS!”

Frisk found themself being set on Papyrus’ shoulders again, and then Papyrus rushed out the door, down the road, and into a strange igloo. He took a set of stairs down two at a time, and then stepped onto a patch of ice. They slid for a long time, then he was suddenly taking stairs back up, and they were in town again as he ran them into a house.

Inside the house, he set them down gently. They were standing in a cozy-looking living room, with a soft couch, a TV, and what looked like a miniature science lab and woodworking table. Sans was sitting on the couch watching TV and sharpening his knife, and when they walked in, he looked up. “hey, paps! you’re home at last, huh? did ya see the human?”

“THEY’RE RIGHT HERE, SANS.”

Frisk waved hi hesitantly.

“heya, bud. papyrus says you’re gonna be staying here for a bit, right?”

They were going to say that they just needed to take a nap and they’d keep going, but they saw Sans watching them with that strange glowing upside-down heart light and decided not to mention it. “Sure.”

“awesome. come on, sit with me and we’ll watch something together while papyrus is cooking, since it’s his turn to cook tonight .”

Papyrus rolled his eyes. “YOU DON’T HAVE TO NEEDLE ME ABOUT IT, BROTHER! I LIKE TO COOK, I’VE JUST BEEN BUSY! I WILL MAKE YOU A QUICHE, TO CELEBRATE THE HUMAN’S ARRIVAL!”

“cool, thanks. hey, human, have you ever watched doctor who?”

“I’ve heard of it,” they told Sans, coming over to sit next to him.

“it’s really interesting. it’s about an alien, which is like a monster from space, who learns all about humans and they travel through space with him. i have so many theories about it! like, it’s possible humans have cultural myths about monsters, and incorporated them into this episode about these “silurians” who live under the earth!”

They nodded, leaning their head against Sans’ bony shoulder and watching two robots shoot each other. Sans was perfectly happy to talk their ear off without any prompting whatsoever, and they were soon sound asleep.

Once they were asleep, though, the calming scene turned horrible. Their eyes felt stuck closed, keeping them in pitch blackness. Searing pain lanced their mouth, and they whimpered, but no one came. They tossed and turned, feeling at once freezing and too warm, until suddenly a hand grabbed theirs. In a harsh, odd, whisper, someone spoke. “Stop that! I know you are no crybaby. It will be over soon, and then we’ll be strong. We’ll free everyone. Stop crying!” Their voice sounded more and more choked, and quieter still, they added, “Please, just give in. I promise it will not hurt anymore. Please, I cannot bear this any longer… no, no! I will stay determined, and you will as well. It was what we agreed on. So stay determined.”

They bolted awake, hands flying to their eyes.

<<Frisk! Are you alright?>>

<<Where AM I?>>

They rubbed their eyes fiercely and looked around. They were lying in a messy room full of robot parts, fridges, hot plates, and action figures. Looking down at their bed, they saw it was a racecar-shaped bed with themed sheets, which they had been tucked into carefully.

Papyrus stood bolt-upright, knocking over a pile of parts that had been on top of him and startling them. “HUMAN! YOU’RE AWAKE!”

They wiggled their fingers sleepily.

“YOU LOOKED LIKE YOU WEREN’T SLEEPING VERY WELL, SO I TOOK YOU TO MY ROOM AND TUCKED YOU IN! ARE YOU FEELING ALRIGHT?”

They nodded, not wanting to upset him.

“YOU SHOULD COME DOWNSTAIRS, I MADE FRENCH TOAST.”

Gradually, they got up, finding their stick propped against the head of the bed and grabbing it thankfully. They walked down the stairs slowly, still mostly asleep.

<<Wow, he’s, like… really nice,>> Heady observed.

<<They’re all really nice!>>

<<I’m just worried about Sans.>>

Frisk shook their head at him. <<He’d never kill us!>>

<<Just… SAVE, before you keep going, alright?>>

They smiled despite themself--it was kind of nice to know someone was looking out for them, even if he was only the voice in their head. <<I will.>>

Papyrus, however insisted they eat breakfast before they continued. His french toast was heavenly--dusted with powdered sugar that melted in their mouth, perfectly cooked and golden. They eagerly accepted a glass of milk to go with it, but turned down his offer to make bacon. “It’s not kosher.”

Papyrus repeated the sign curiously.

“Kosher means ok for a human like me, who’s Jewish, to eat.” They fingerspelled it for him, and he nodded interestedly.

“OKAY! IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE YOU’D LIKE?”

They shook their head. “No thanks! I’m all full,”

<<You’re even better than all full, actually!>> Heady informed them. <<You have 30/20 HP!>>

<<Wait, really? How?>>

<<Sleeping can recover your health above maximum HP!>>

Frisk grinned. <<Awesome! We won’t need to be scared of anything!>>

<<Yeah!!>> Heady’s voice was full of excitement. <<Come on, we can explore the town!>>

Frisk grabbed their stick and signed a quick “Heading out! I’ll be back soon!” to Papyrus, and was off.

Chapter Text

Snowdin town looked just as warm and cozy from this angle, but somehow brighter? Frisk mentioned this to Heady and he explained that the Underground was lit by sun-stones, tinted crystals which grew in long shafts all the way up to the surface and refracted light down to the monsters far below. Looking up, they saw them--the ones they could see were bluish-white, but Heady said there were also gold, red, green, and purple that he knew of.

<<I wanna see all of them!!>>

Heady giggled. <<I wanna show you them!! But, uh, they’re a ways away right now. So,  um, you’d have to keep travelling.>>

<<Well, we’ll see them eventually, right? When we make our way to the barrier? Oh! Have you ever seen the stars?>>

<<Um… A long time ago, yeah.>>

Frisk frowned slightly. <<Oh.>>

<<You can still show me them! I didn’t really get to look at them.>>

Frisk’s worry vanished quickly at the thought of showing Heady all the constellations they’d learned. <<Okay! Come on, let’s check out the town!>>

<<Alrighty!>>

Frisk planted their stick firmly as they walked, careful not to slide on the cobblestones, which were slick with a thin layer of snowmelt. Wondering why the snow wasn’t sticking brought their attention to the faint golden-orange lines that marked the edge of the path--drawing closer revealed them to be thin metal strips giving off heat and keeping the roads clear. <<That’s so clever!!>>

<<Yeah!>>

They spotted a schoolhouse, with the door propped open and a sandwich-board sign outside. The plaque over the door proclaimed it to be Rudinn Public School. Poking their head inside the door, they saw a group of kids and adults in a range of ages and species sitting in a loose circle on the floor. They wiped their shoes on a mat with that winged symbol on it and walked curiously inside.

A strange, glittery monster greeted them immediately. “Hi! Welcome to the schoolhouse! Are you here for the puzzle society meeting?”

Frisk wiggled their fingers to warm them. “I’m just looking around.”

“Alrighty. School’s out today, though, dear, so, um--”

“Don’t worry! I’m not a student, I’m, uh, new in town!”

The monster smiled, showing brilliant diamond teeth. “That sounds lovely!”

They nodded, and wandered around the border of the room, looking at the bookshelves and walls of school projects. The school projects showed the anatomy of a monster SOUL--they thought it was interesting, but the more they looked the more Heady seemed unnerved. Before they could ask why, the light from the doorway was briefly blocked out--as Papyrus walked in.

The glittery monster greeted him cheerfully. “Hi Papyrus!”

“HELLO EVERYONE, SORRY SO LATE!”

The circle on the floor waved to him and greeted him, along with one or two comments about how he was always late.

“HELLO, HELLO! HOW ARE YOU ALL DOING TODAY? I BROUGHT SOME LOVELY FRENCH TOAST AND SPAGHETTI FOR SNACKS!” He sat crosslegged in the circle, producing from seemingly nowhere several mismatched containers of food and serving utensils. They noticed he’d changed sweatshirts--this one said “There are 10 types of people” on the front, and they rolled their eyes, having heard the joke before, but they waved to him.

“OH! HELLO, HUMAN!”

The circle devolved into chaos. “Human! Where?!” “A human?!” “Papyrus, you saw a human ??” “Stars!! Somebody call Lord Gaster, somebody--”

“EVERYONE BE QUIET!! THE HUMAN IS FRIENDLY--”

“We have to get the SOUL!!”

“Where did it go?!”

“It can’t have gotten far!”

Frisk, clinging to their stick like a lifeline, had bolted out the front door of the schoolhouse and flattened themself behind the open door.

Heady was panicking. <<Holy stars, holy stars, they’re gonna get us-->>

<<SHH!!!>> Frisk demanded, and Heady capitulated. Sure enough, the door was thrown open as the monsters rushed out into the street, ringing doorbells and yelling about humans until the whole square was a buzz of activity, with Papyrus following the loudest and shouting in his reedy voice about their innocence.

Soon, however, the crowd moved down the road in the direction they assumed Fisk had run, leaving them safe to emerge again. Spotting a SAVE point in the distance, they slunk towards it.

<<Having made your narrow escape from the mob, you stop to catch your breath. The power of stealth shines within you.❤️Determination/Magic? File Saved.>>

They reached out again. <<Having made your narrow escape from the mob, you stop to catch your breath. The power of stealth shines within you. Determination/❤️Magic? Magic bonus: SPD up until next SAVE!>>

<<We should head the other way now,>> Frisk thought absently, and shifting their grip on their stick, they did, slipping over to Sans and Papyrus’ house. They walked back to Papyrus’ room, and looked through the messy closet for a sweatshirt, putting on the smallest one they could find--a blue one with a single orange stripe on each arm that said “Boom Public High Junior Guard” on the front and a picture of a thunderbolt on the back. It was still about twice their size, falling down to their knees and leaving their face completely obscured by the hood.

<<You’re stealing his sweatshirt?!>>

Frisk’s brain felt full of static as they nodded. <<Gotta go. Now.>>

<<Where?!>>

<<Away. I don’t--I don’t, I don’t w-wanna get caught.>>

<<Frisk! Slow down, think this through, where are you even going?>>

<<Away!! I c-c-can’t, I don’t, I-->> Frisk was crying silently now, tears soaking the rolled-up sleeves of Papyrus’ sweatshirt. <<I have to get away!>>

<<Are you going back to the RUINS then?>>

<<No-->> Frisk broke off, breathing hard-- <<I don’t wanna see anyone who knows me I just wanna disappear I wanna get out I gotta-->>

<<Shh, shh…> Heady urged, but their feet were already running, running away from the town that was still mobilized in the central square, stick pounding on the ground, running into the cold mist by a river with ice floes drifting down it until they couldn’t see and fell to their knees, breathing hard.

They heard the low rumble of Sans’ voice, sounding strange on their ears now--because for the first time it was bereft of any hint of amusement. “hey, kiddo. you sure look like you’re in a hurry. which... is a pity. because, y’see, i kinda have a responsibility. as long as you’re with papyrus, in town, safe, i can kinda ignore you to the guard and not turn you in. but start heading to waterfall, and that all kinda falls apart. captain alphys won’t turn a blind eye to ya--it’s just me and the doc who’ve got em. and i could get in some serious sh--trouble for ignoring a human. or, conversely, i could finally get that fu--reaking guard position and finally… well, that’s not your problem either way. suffice it to say, if you keep going, i’m going to have to try to kill ya. it really ain’t my choice. turning you into the queen would just break her heart, so… i’m warning ya, buddy. turn back, please.”

Jumping to their feet, Frisk looked wildly at him and started to sign.

“kid, i can’t see ya in all this fog. come on, let me take you back to town and we can talk about it there.”

A shiver wracked Frisk, completely unrelated to the cold, and they tried to bolt past him. Before they’d gotten halfway, they saw him thrust out one hand, clutching his knife, and their SOUL turned integrity blue and rocketed them back, slamming them into the boundaries of the bullet board for a FIGHT.

<<SANS blocks the way.>>

He stood, swaying slightly, taking a knife-fighter’s stance. The plate on his head glinted and in his eye, the upside-down heart glowed chillingly blue as it tracked their suddenly indigo SOUL.

Chapter Text

Heady’s voice shook slightly as they stared at Sans. <<What do we do? You can’t hurt him, he’s been so nice, but-->>

Frisk screwed up their face against the cold and their tears. <<Check him! There has to be another way!>>

<<Sans, AT 6 DF 1, Crit chance 10%, dodge chance 90%. His SOUL trait is patience. He hasn’t got high stats, so he learned to up the stakes.>>

<<What does that mean?>>

Heady explained. <<Ten percent chance a hit will do extra damage, only ten percent chance we can hit him!>>

<<I don’t wanna hit him!>>

Sans barked out a laugh bereft of humor and swung his knife towards their SOUL. To their surprise, gravity dragged at it as they tried to pull it up out of the way, and they barely escaped the blow.

<<Okay, okay, new SOUL mode. I learned about those at the hostel. I got this, probably. What ACTs can we try? Can we flirt? Maybe he’ll leave us alone!>>

They felt powerful fear and regret from Heady, but the projection formed, and winked at Sans. “Hey, hot stuff. Wanna bone?”

Sans nearly dropped his knife. “absolutely not. how old are you?!”

They willed the projection to tell him they were twelve, and he scowled. “kiddo, if i wasn’t trying to kill you… well. look, just. i’m not gonna hurt you like that. i’m a monster, not a ba--d person.” Around their SOUL, bones thrust up from the ground around their SOUL, making them toss it up and away from the attacks like a juggler.

<<How else are we going to convince him not to kill us?!>>

<<We can’t fight him.>> Heady said. His quiet insistence startled Frisk--all traces of playfulness were gone from his voice.

<<Agreed, but what do we do?>>

<<...Spare, maybe?>>

Frisk put their hands together in the sign for spare, and the FIGHT flickered, but held fast.

Sans shook his head. “you really aren’t going to fight? guess i’ll have to use my blue attacks. ready?” He slammed his knife into the snow, and chunks of it made platforms in the air. Then, he tossed three huge, horizontal, bones, one blue and one white, on two of the levels. They threw their SOUL into the center row, freezing solid as the cyan bone slid through it. Their hands shook with the effort to keep the SOUL in place, until the bone had passed--and then, in a rush, they threw the SOUL up to the top level, the process repeating itself. At last, their SOUL dropped back to the gold buttons.

<<Spare!!>>

“if i give the queen your soul, i can tell a sob story that will let me into the guard for sure. and then, there’s just… so much i can do from there.”

Their SOUL dropped suddenly onto the blade of Sans’ knife, and it took quick maneuvering as the knife flipped to drop onto the flat of the blade. Heady shouted in applause despite the tense atmosphere.

<<Thank you, thank you!! Alright, let’s spare again. He has to give in before we do!>>

“i’ll be able to take some of the load off alphys…” Sans mused, casually swinging his knife towards them with blinding speed. They took one blow straight across the SOUL and howled wordlessly at the flash of blue-white magic as it struck.

<<CRITICAL! 22/20>>

Sans locked his glowing eye on their SOUL as it returned to the bullet board. “and i’ll be able to provide better for papyrus.” Suddenly, gravity was cut, their SOUL flashed its usual red, and a wave of bones burst from the earth and the top of the board, advancing towards their SOUL. They slid the SOUL through the gap in between the attacks, pushing it up and pulling it down as the bones raised and lowered.

<<Spare!>>

“not just that, i’ll be able to get my revenge for this...” He gestured ruefully at his skull plate with his knife, flicking his fingers at them and causing huge bones the size of their torso to erupt out of the ground, scarring the turf, and shoot towards their SOUL before falling apart into magic.

Frisk shivered in Papyrus’ hoodie, watching a last, huge, splintered bone pass below them, but spared Sans again.

“...and i’ll finally be able to keep them all safe.” His eye lit up blue, and so did their SOUL, making them juggle it away from a forest of bones on the bottom of the box that raised and lowered.

Frisk took a few hits and gritted their teeth. <<We can’t give up yet!>> they insisted, signing “spare” at Sans.

“but... there’s gotta be somebody worried about you, right, babybones?”

Frisk screwed up their face, refusing to think about their friends and cry more, and spared him again, more emphatically.

“i mean, papyrus is.” The bones moved slower, almost hesitantly, and they dodged all of them easily.

“and... i hate to say this, but i am too. heh… heh… heh, but who cares, right? i have to do what has to be done… right?”

He shrugged, sending a wave of bones that mimicked the motion. Frisk spared him once again, a freezing tear sliding down their cheek at his resigned tone.

“right? come on, kiddo, just-- just stop looking at me like that.”

“listen. how about i make one last attack, and we just leave it up to fate? and... and if you just give up, then that’ll be it. i’m tired, anyway, buddy. let’s just let this end?”

Frisk shook their head emphatically and tore open the magicicle wrapper with their teeth, gobbling it down. A smattering of green stars showered around them as they ate, and their HP was maxed out.

“alright, then. it’s time for my special attack.” He shifted his hand on the hilt of his knife. “here we go.” He slashed the knife through the air, and two massive bones shot out of the ground, making an X in the air.

<<CRITICAL! 12/20.>>

Two more huge bones, making a + shape, then their SOUL went blue and dropped. No sooner had they caught it and tossed it back into the air then the bottom of the bullet board erupted with jagged, broken, bones. Then they were red again, and a wave of bones rushing towards them--they got hit twice, but slipped through the rest with a meager 6 HP.

Breathing hard, Sans conjured two more giant bones, then swung his knife through the center of the board, cleaving the air in two. Finally, spent, he collapsed to his knees, eye flashing blue and white like a strobe while their SOUL shook in the grasp of a seemingly randomly directed force.

Their hands came together, signing “Spare, spare, spare--” already, even before the buttons had appeared or his name had turned yellow, the FIGHT dropped away and their SOUL returned to their body. They saw Sans through the snow, now only a few feet away from them. His ribcage heaved as he tried to breathe.

“hah… hah… i guess that’s it, then. just--don’t hurt them, alright? when you… go through…. waterfall, please… don’t hurt alphys, she’s just trying her hardest--”

They rushed to his side, hands already moving to speak. “What? No, Sans, I don’t want to hurt anyone! What are you talking about? I just, I just-- I just bolted, alright, I don’t want to--”

He wheezed and raised a hand, his eye flickering. “i couldn’t ask you to stick around after nearly killing ya, but it’ll be a long way until you’re safe in the capitol. you gotta get going, you can’t--” he broke off, coughing-- “you can’t wait for me, i’ll be alright. don’t worry about me, kiddo. i always find my way home.”

“No! No, I’m not leaving you, Sans! You were just doing what you had to, just like dad!”

Sans fixed them with the strange-shaped light in his left socket, the other one gone completely black. “you don’t want to leave me? look, i’m not gonna die. you haven’t killed me, don’t worry. you’re okay to leave.”

Frisk set their jaw. “I don’t want to leave you if you’re really hurt! I panicked, I bolted. But I’m not going to keep running away! You’re hurting and I wanna help. Here!” They knelt by him in the snow, and threw his arm around their shoulders, situating him on their good side and taking their stick in their free hand.

“heh… wow. if ya really mean it, kiddo, then i owe you one. maybe more than one. you don’t have to be friends with me after i tried to hurt you like that.”

Shifting their stick under their arm, they angrily signed, “I want to!” Then, they hauled him to his feet, groaning, and he started to shuffle along with them back towards town.

Chapter Text

Finally, they arrived on the doorstep of Sans’ house. He went to knock, but Frisk shook their head and rapped on the door with their stick. A clatter sounded from inside, and Papyrus opened the door.

“IS THAT MY--SAAAANS!!!”

“hhh… heya, paps.”

“SANS! DID YOU OVEREXERT YOURSELF AGAIN?!”

Sans sighed, slumping a little against Frisk. “Mmmmaybe…”

“I AM TAKING YOU TO YOUR ROOM! I WILL COME UP AND BRING YOU SOME CHICKEN SOUP!! AND THEN! I WILL BRING YOU HOT MILK AND READ YOU A BEDTIME STORY! AND YOU!! WILL GO! TO SLEEP!!!”

“alright, alright.” Sans extricated himself from Frisk, limping towards the house.

“NO! YOU’RE NOT GOING TO WALK UP THE STAIRS. I’M GOING TO CARRY YOU. HUMAN, PLEASE MAKE YOURSELF AT HOME. I WILL BE BACK DOWN VERY SOON.” Bending down and picking up Sans like a sack of potatoes, he turned on his heel and left, nearly slipping on his shoelaces as he did so. His booty shorts were apparently a different pair than he’d worn yesterday, as they said “ARE YOU COZY?” on the ass.

Frisk stomped the snow off their shoes and walked inside, playing absently with the strings of Papyrus' hoodie.

<<Frisk?>>

<<Mhmm?>>

<<Why did you run out there and then just come back?>>

Frisk sighed. <<It’s really complicated. Don’t worry about it, I’m alright.>>

Heady seemed unconvinced. <<Can you explain it to me?>>

<<Well, I don’t really want to talk about why, but, uh… when I have panic attacks, usually my first urge is to just run away. Just grab whatever I have to and run.>>

<<Is that why you stole Papyrus’ hoodie?>> he wondered.

They flopped down on the sofa. <<Yeah, I just… needed to get out unnoticed. I’ll give it back, I guess, I just-->>

<<No, no! I’m not mad, I want to be able to help!>>

Frisk didn’t quite know what to say to that. <<Oh, um. Uh, um. G-geez, thanks, I-->>

<<O-of course! We’re in whatever this is together, so whatever you need I’ll help you with!>>

<<Thanks… hm…>> Frisk fell silent, deep in thought, and startled when Papyrus walked downstairs.

Papyrus pulled the tops off his mittens, revealing a pair of fingerless gloves, and wiggled his long bone fingers. “HUMAN! ACCOMPANY ME INTO THE KITCHEN WHILST I PREPARE CHICKEN SOUP, PLEASE?”

“Sure.” Frisk picked up their stick and walked curiously towards the door across the living room. Their kitchen was surprisingly warm and homey, with a huge fridge covered in blueprints and a big stove.

Papyrus opened up the freezer and took out what looked like a chunk of brown ice with herbs in it and put it in a pot on the stove. “HUMAN! SINCE WE ARE GOING TO HAVE TO REHEAT FROZEN SOUP, WE WILL NEED TO ADD EXTRA CHICKEN, NOODLES, AND SPICES TO UP ITS HEALING POWER! CAN YOU GET ME THE CONTAINER OF CHICKEN FROM THE FRIDGE?” He picked them up--he was so big that his mittened hands fit most of the way around their tummy, and they giggled. This made him laugh, a funny shrill laugh that they could feel as he held them up.

They pointed to a container of potatoes, laughing.

“NYOOH HOO HOO! THAT ISN’T THE CHICKEN, HUMAN!”

They pointed to an eggplant.

“NOO!! THE CHICKEN!”

A container of snails!

“NYEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHAHAHAHA, STOP, STOP!!!”

Finally, they grabbed the container of chicken and, with Papyrus’ help, picked out a piece to cut. He gave them a strange knife from their drawer with a string of green lights set into the handle.

“SANS DESIGNED THIS KNIFE! IT WON’T CUT ANYTHING THAT STILL HAS HP, SO YOU CAN USE IT WITHOUT WORRYING YOU’LL GET A CUT BY ACCIDENT!”

They took the knife and cut up the chicken, as well as a carrot, some celery, and part of an onion that Papyrus set on the counter next to them, sniffling a little at the onion fumes. Then, they helped Papyrus add the ingredients and some spices to the soup, where he had already put in noodles to cook. He brought them over to the fridge again, where he had them pick up a jug of milk. He poured some of it into a small pot, and gave them a spoon, standing them on a stool next to him so they could look into the pot. Putting in a spoonful of this and that, he turned the heat on low and prompted them to stir slowly, so that the milk wouldn’t stick to the bottom. They stirred it dutifully, watching Papyrus watch the chicken soup.

“HUMAN.”

“Yeah?”

“I WANTED TO SAY… I’M REALLY SORRY ABOUT HOW MY NEIGHBORS ARE BEHAVING. I DIDN’T REALIZE THEY WOULD GO HUNTING FOR YOU, AND I’M REALLY SORRY I REVEALED YOU TO THEM.”

“It’s okay, Papyrus. Honest. You didn’t realize they wanted to hunt me.”

“HM.” He looked pensively into the soup. “THAT’S VERY NICE OF YOU. I HATE TO ASK, BUT MAYBE YOU COULD DO ME JUST ONE MORE FAVOR?”

“What is it?”

“COULD YOU PERHAPS STAY THE NIGHT AND HANG OUT WITH SANS TOMORROW?”

“I’d love to!”

“REALLY? WOWIE! HE REALLY CARES ABOUT YOU HUMAN, AND I KNOW HE’D NEVER ASK, BUT I REALLY THINK YOU TWO SHOULD BECOME BETTER FRIENDS!”

Frisk smiled and nodded.

“ALSO! YOU SHOULD DEFINITELY KEEP MY OLD SWEATER! IT FITS YOU BETTER THAN IT FITS ME! BUT FEEL FREE TO ASK NEXT TIME, OKAY HUMAN?”

They nodded ruefully. “Sorry.”

“IT’S QUITE ALRIGHT. WILL YOU HELP ME TRY THE SOUP?”

“Sure!”

Papyrus lifted the ladle to their mouth and they took a small sip of soup, eating one of the noodles to check it was cooked.

“EXCELLENT! IF IT’S COOKED, WE CAN TAKE IT UP TO SANS!”

Frisk stepped down from the stool and let Papyrus make a bowl of soup and a mug of milk, then make a strange pass of his hands over the soup and milk and mutter something. Orange magic flowed from his hands and surrounded the two pots.

“NOW THEY’LL BE WARM WHEN WE GET BACK.”

He handed Frisk the mug and started to walk out, indicating for them to follow. They walked up the stairs and to the end of the upstairs hallway, where Sans’ room had several sciencey-looking signs on the door. Papyrus knocked on it hesitantly.

Something fell to the floor inside. “come in.”

He eased open the door (it opened silently, without creaking) and Frisk peered into the room. The room was nothing like they’d imagined--it was big, bigger than they’d expected, and most of the space was taken up by tables. Some of them had complicated looking blueprints, and others had stacks upon stacks of notebooks that spilled out papers written in perfect comic sans. Still others had experiments--they spotted one that involved some kind of crystal pendulum, another that had several beakers of something yellowish on hotplates, and a third that involved some kind of dice-rolling camera robot and spools of ticker tape that curled across the floor. Shoved in one corner was a bed shaped like a rocket ship, and in the bed was Sans, lying slumped against a stack of pillows.

“heya, papyrus. and, uh, hey human."

Frisk waved to him.

“HELLO, BROTHER! THE HUMAN AND I HAVE COME UP WITH CHICKEN SOUP AND HOT MILK, AND WE WOULD LIKE YOU TO EAT IT. THEN, WE WILL READ YOU A BEDTIME STORY, AND YOU WILL GO TO SLEEP!”

“aw, thanks, bro. you shouldn’t’ve.”

“YES I SHOULD’VE. YOU CLEARLY WEREN’T INTENDING TO REST.”

“yeah i was. i’m in bed right now.”

“YES, BUT YOU JUST TELEPORTED THERE. YOU WERE CHECKING MORE TEST RESULTS, WEREN’T YOU… ANYWAY! ENOUGH ARGUING. HERE!! IS YOUR CHICKEN SOUP. THE HUMAN HELPED ME MAKE IT!”

“yum, thanks.” Sans took the bowl of soup and the spoon from Papyrus, and for a while there was silence as he ate the soup. “is that hot milk, too?”

“YES! AND I PUT IN MY SPECIAL SPICE MIX, JUST LIKE YOU LIKE.”

Frisk stepped forward and handed him the milk, and he stopped them as they tried to step back, putting one hand over the hand on their stick. “human. if i don’t see ya again… thanks. for everything, alright? you’re a damn good kid.”

They cocked their head at him confusedly. “I’m staying for at least a day, Sans.”

“oh.” Sans’ eternal grin turned slightly apologetic. “heh, well, forget it then.”

“SAAANS!!!” Papyrus shouted.

“aw, you know i’m just kidding with them.”

“FINISH YOUR MILK AND I’LL TUCK YOU IN THEN. YOU CAN SEE THE HUMAN AGAIN TOMORROW. YOU NEED YOUR REST, SANS.”

Sans sighed and drank the milk, and then Papyrus collected the bowl, spoon, and mug from him. “NOW! WHAT SHALL I READ TO YOU? DO YOU WANT TO HEAR MORE OF ‘ELEVEN TREATISES ON THE NATURE OF QUANTUM SUPERPOSITION’?”

“you know me too well, big bro.”

Papyrus picked up a big, blue, book from one of the tables and opened to a bookmark near the middle. “HEM-HEM. INTERESTINGLY, A MODERN INCARNATION OF THOMAS YOUNG’S DOUBLE-SLIT EXPERIMENT USING A VERY FEEBLE LIGHT SOURCE THAT SPITS OUT ONE PHOTON AT A TIME, LEADS TO THE SAME EVIDENCE OF INTERFERENCE, EVEN THOUGH THERE ARE NO WAVES AS SUCH TO INTERFERE WITH EACH OTHER. THE ONLY WAY THE SINGLE PHOTONS CAN EXPERIENCE INTERFERENCE, THEN, IS IF EACH PHOTON SOMEHOW GOES THROUGH BOTH SLITS SIMULTANEOUSLY (DUE TO SUPERPOSITION) AND INTERFERES WITH ITSELF! THE ENTIRE EXPERIMENT CAN IN FACT BE PERFORMED WITH ELECTRONS, ATOMS OR OTHER SUB-ATOMIC PARTICLES INSTEAD OF LIGHT, DEMONSTRATING THAT ALL PARTICLES MANIFEST BOTH WAVE AND PARTICLE ASPECTS (THIS INTERFERENCE IS THE MECHANISM BY WHICH A HYPOTHETICAL QUANTUM COMPUTER WOULD COMBINE ITS MULTIPLE CALCULATIONS INTO ONE ANSWER).”

<<What does that even MEAN???>>

Frisk shrugged. <<Heck if I know! I’m literally twelve!>>

<<Well I’m literally dead!>>

They frowned. <<Well, you’re only kinda dead. You’re still in my head, right?>>

<<Huh, I guess. I mean, I don’t know if that makes me alive.>>

<<You’re alive enough for me, Heady.>> Frisk said in a very final tone. Looking over, they noticed that Sans’ eyesockets were closed and he was snoring gently.

“AND, OF COURSE, IF PARALLEL UNIVERSES ARE INDEPENDENT AND SEPARATE FROM OUR OWN, THERE IS NOT, AND INDEED NEVER WILL BE, ANY WAY OF PRACTICALLY PROVING THEIR EXISTENCE.” Papyrus replaced the bookmark and shut the book with a ‘clat!’. “GOOD! HE’S ASLEEP. GOOD JOB, HUMAN!”

They gave him a gentle thumbs-up and a smile as they followed him out of the room.

“NOW! DINNERTIME FOR US!”

Chapter Text

In the kitchen, they sat opposite each other and ate. Papyrus entertained them with talk about his culinary projects--apparently there were edible parts of the golden flower that he was trying to find a good way to prepare, and he was looking into the recent phenomenon of the hot fridge and its effects on non-spoiling monster food. Frisk said they would teach him how to make their favorite human desert if he wanted, and he nearly exploded from joy, flapping his hands up and down. They ended up teaching him the sign for hamentashen as well as how to make them--they made a batch with crabapple preserves, some with jam, and some with chocolate, then ate about twenty of the little cookies by themselves before realizing they should save some for Sans or future deserts rather than finish them all by themselves.

They played a card game they’d never heard of before with a strange deck that had cards like the Knave-Is-A-Dumb-Name-For-Jack of Wands and the That-Guy-Is-Carrying-Way- Too-Many-Swords and the One-Really-Big-Cup and the Why-Is-Your-Head-Inside-A-Lion’s -Mouth (or at least, those were the names they gave them, which made Heady laugh until he snorted).

As Frisk started yawning more and more, Papyrus wrapped up their games and shepherded them up to his room. He insisted on tucking them into his bed, and reading to them from a book of their choice--they picked a book about pirates, but by the end they were so exhausted it could’ve been about quantum superposition for all they could keep their eyes open. When Papyrus finished, they quickly signed the shema and sank under the covers, asleep before their head hit the pillow.

They dreamed, again, of pain. This time, their hands stung as if burned, and they gripped something in their left hand that was hard like a stick, but wrapped in fabric. Their eyes must’ve been closed, or covered, since all they saw was reddish light like they were covering their eyes with their fingers and looking at a lamp, but somehow wrong.

They itched a scab on their forearm, but their arms felt strange and fuzzy, like when they’d played Esau in the play at their religious school and worn faux fur to make themself hairy. Their nails were sharp, and they withdrew their free hand, upset at how they’d pulled at the skin beneath the fur.

They were running, they realized--they’d never run like this before, without a stick or a grownup supporting their weak leg, and they felt almost like they were flying. Despite the pain that ebbed in their hands and the itching of scabs and the strain on their eyes as they tried to see beyond burning red and freezing black, the leg that would normally be screaming pain as they put weight on it felt fine--just like their other one. It was so strange that they stopped, touching the leg with their free hand in confusion.

<<JUST KEEP RUNNING>> burned in their head, words that felt like they were made out of hot coals, and they obeyed, grinding their teeth to try to numb the pain in their mind. Something heavy struck them across the back, bludgeoning and splitting the skin, like a kitchen knife, and they staggered, collected themself, kept going, pushing through the blood on their back and the burning in their head and the stinging of their hands and just keep going, just keep running, and--!

They sat bolt upright, breathing hard, as their consciousness returned to them. The room was dark, only a little bit of light slanting through a small window, and they rubbed furiously at their eyes.

<<Are you alright?>>

<<I-- I don’t-- I don’t know!!!>> Frisk’s mental voice was panicked, and their chest heaved as they tried to get in enough air.

<<Okay, let’s breathe. In… and out… and in… and out.>>

Frisk tried to breathe along with his count, but they found themself falling nervously out of rhythm.

<<Can I help, Frisk?>>

<<Yes!! I’m sorry, just-->>

With the feeling of a gentle head-shake, dismissing their apology, Heady gave them a soft warning. Then they felt their lungs go nearly numb, and they saw, more than felt, their breathing slow.

Curiously, they poked their chest, feeling their ribcage.

Heady giggled. <<Hee-hee, that tickles!!>>

<<Wait, so you--??>>

<<I’m taking control of your lungs to slow your breathing, like how I used your mouth to talk to the stone in the RUINS. Don’t worry, if you really wanted to stop me, you could, but I won’t ever possess you if you don’t want me to. That just isn’t right!>>

<<Oh.>> Frisk looked down at their chest, which was now rising and falling evenly, and felt as if from far away that their breathing was now even. <<Is this what it feels like for you?>>

<<I can’t tell, since I don’t know how you’re feeling right now! But probably!>>

<<Can I have my body back now?>> Frisk asked.

<<Okay!>> And just like that, feeling returned to their body, and they took a shaky breath.

<<Huh, it’s just like I hadn’t even panicked!>>

<<Because I didn’t!>> Heady seemed curious, and he pressed further. <<Why did you panic?>>

<<I had a nightmare.>>

<<Oh.>> Heady’s voice carried the sense of a frown. <<I did too, but I guess it was just a creepy thing, not a panicking thing.>>

Frisk cocked their head at this. <<You did?>>

<<Yeah. It was dark, and I woke up in this bed, and I heard somebody on the stairs, which is weird, because I never had stairs by my bedroom as a kid. I just knew it was something bad, and I rolled under the bed. It was so squashed down there! And it was dark, and I heard him on the stairs, and it smelled gross, like, sweet-sour and nasty! My heart was beating sooo fast, but then you just… woke up! And, uh, then your panic reminded me of someone I used to know. But it’s mostly just a weird dream. I don’t think I’ve ever had a nightmare like that before!>>

Frisk was about to reply when they heard footsteps in the hall. <<Shh!!>>

Sans swung the door open, wincing at the mess. “heya, kiddo! you ready to hang out?”

“Oh! Hi, Sans!! Yeah!”

“great, come on over to my room, then! i’ll show you my interdimensional prank call machine, then we can get brunch at the diner, then maybe we can go sledding! i know some great tricks i can show ya with my blue magic!”

“Cool!!” Frisk jumped out of bed, the night’s woes forgotten, and followed Sans down the hall and into his room.

Chapter Text

They stayed by his bed, where he told them to stand, until he’d finished pushing around the tables full of experiments, leaving a videophone not unlike their own but hooked up to a number of flashing towers of computer lights in front of the bed.

“tada!! it’s the interdimensional phone! with this baby, i can prank call anyone , in any timeline, as long as i’ve got their number here! like, look! gimme your number!”

Frisk obeyed Sans’ instructions, tapping their phone against the one sitting on the table. The screen of the one on the table blinked, with a number flashing up on the screen. Sans played with an antenna on the side of the computer tower, clicked a button on the casing of the phone, and sat back on the bed next to them. The phone’s screen changed to a shaky video of the Snowdin woods, with Frisk looking into the camera.

“is your refrigerator running?”

The Frisk on the screen grinned. “Yes,” they signed.

“great. i’ll be over to deposit the brewskis,” Sans said, winked into the camera, and hung up on the bewildered Frisk.

“see?”

“Whoah, that was me?”

“well, another version of ya. here, we’ll drop a call to my alternate self, if he doesn’t have me blocked.” He tapped a few buttons, and a number came up onscreen, which quickly shifted to a shot of someone relaxing in a sentry station, with a background of blue stone. Strangely, this Sans lacked the distinctive metal skull-plate theirs had, and wore a ratty old blue hoodie with a greyish fake fur lining instead of their Sans’ crisp polo shirt.

As soon as the other Sans picked up, theirs launched into the beginning of “Never Gonna Give You Up”. Unfazed, the other Sans grinned and fired back with “All Star”.

Halfway through, however, he broke off, gesturing to Frisk. “who’s your friend?”

“this is a human! papyrus and i found them in the woods, and they’ve been really nice. like, really nice.”

“huh,” the other Sans said. “we met a human lately too. i’m not so sure about ours, but hey, they make papyrus happy to have around, so--” he shrugged-- “i’m reserving judgement.”

“fair enough. sorry yours didn’t take such a shine to you--that’s so sad. alexa--”

The two Sanses grinned at each other as they finished. “play despacito.”

“heh, well, i’ll see ya around. i still got loads to show this kid, yeah?”

The other Sans nodded, and they hung up in unison.

“Can we call a Papyrus?” Frisk asked.

“oh boy, can we . careful, this papyrus can get a little loud.”

He adjusted the antenna, plugged in a different number, and the phone was picked up almost before it started ringing, showing a Papyrus with jagged teeth, one scarred eye, and black and red armor.

“SAAANS?!?”

“hey papyrus, knock knock!”

“SANS, I SWEAR TO G--” He broke off, and sighed. “WHO’S THERE.”

“dishes!!”

“DISHES WHOM?”

“dishes a very bad knock-knock joke, heheheh--”

“SANS--!! UNDYNE, YOU DEAL WITH HIM. I’M BUSY.”

The phone changed hands, a blue monster with a red mohawk, fins for ears, and a single yellow eye (the other being gouged out) glared at them. “What the hell do you want, dorklord?”

“hey, undyne, what do you get when you cross a dad, a jape, and a plot?”

“I don’t know, and I don’t care!! Are you even calling Papyrus for a reason?”

“maybe i just wanted to share some jokes!!”

“Stars above, that’s just like you, you damn lazybones. If you don’t have any legitimate business, I’m hanging up and reporting that human sitting next to you.”

“i do have legitimate business, actually,” Sans said, failing to contain a wicked smirk.

Undyne rolled her eye. “I really doubt that, but go ahead.”

“yeah, i gotta file a ligma report.”

“What the FUCK is a ligma--NO!! Sans, that human’s a fucking child! You’re disgusting!!!” The call ended abruptly as Undyne closed Papyrus’ phone with a ‘clat!’.

“geez, sorry human. i didn’t remember she was quite so absolutely feral in that universe. i wish i could disillusion ya about the doc, since she’s pretty chill in this ‘verse, but ya know, spoilers and all that. i don’t want the freakin’ time police on my a--butt.”

“Time police?” Frisk signed, curiously, still trying to figure out what had gone on.

“well, there’s got to be some kind of person looking after time other than a skeleton armorer in his bedroom laboratory, right?”

Frisk shrugged.

“anyway,” Sans continued, “we could talk to another papyrus, if ya want. since that one went so badly.”

“Alright!!”

“how’s’about we talk to a version of paps i know who’s living in the ruins? he can always use some good company.”

“Sounds good!!”

Sans placed the call, and yet again it was picked up almost before it rang. “BIG BROTHER!! WOWIE, I GET TO TALK TO A SANS AGAIN! HUMAN, LOOK!” The Papyrus on the other end of the call wore a simple purple tunic with a shield with the winged glyph on his chest, and he lifted up a human who looked like Frisk, who waved cheerily at the camera.

Sans seemed startled by this occurrence. “uh, hiya. bro. hiya human. how’s, uh, things?”

“THINGS ARE GREAT NOW THAT WE HAVE THE CHANCE TO SPEAK TO EACH OTHER!! TELL ME EVERYTHING! ARE YOU SLEEPING ENOUGH? ARE YOU SLEEPING TOO MUCH? ARE YOU GETTING ENOUGH TO EAT? PLENTY OF CALCIUM FOR YOUR BONES? YOU’RE NOT DEHYDRATED, ARE YOU?”

“yeah, yeah, i’m taking care of the old bag of bones. how are you doing, baby bro?”

“SWIMMINGLY! I JUST MET ANOTHER HUMAN, AND THIS ONE I’M SURE WILL STAY WITH ME! THEY ALREADY THINK OF ME AS A BROTHER. DO YOU THINK MY SANS MIGHT BE WILLING TO ADOPT THEM?”

“heh, i’m sure of it. they look like a handful, though. how old are they?”

“TWELVE!! HOW OLD IS YOURS?”

“oh, this kid?” Sans said, grinning as he gestured at them. “they’re twelve too.”

Papyrus folded his arms. “MINE’S CUTER.”

“no way, man. this shy little bugger makes a mean cup of hot milk, and they gave me a namesign!”

“REALLY? WHAT IS IT?”

Frisk did the sign for him, and Papyrus mimicked it.

“WELL, HUMAN! YOU TAKE GOOD CARE OF HIM, ALRIGHT? I KNOW HE SAID HE WAS GETTING GOOD REST AND PLENTY TO EAT, BUT HE NEVER DOES, AND I WORRY ABOUT HIM. AND CALL BACK SOON, ALRIGHT?”

Frisk smiled. They liked this cheerful, parental, Papyrus almost as much as they liked the soft boy jokester they’d already met. “Sure!! I’ll try my best to!”

“YAY!! I’LL SEE YOU SOON, THEN!” Papyrus rushed out of shot to catch the absconding human, then rushed back to close the phone with a cheerful wave.

Frisk turned back to Sans, but he wasn’t on the bed next to them anymore--he had somehow crossed most of the room without them noticing! He was scrawling furiously in a spiral-bound notebook, and dropped it guiltily when he realized they were looking.

“sorry!! that’s where i track events across the multiverse. it seems like your entry underground was mirrored in a whole bunch of dimensions. wanna help me look into it with some cool science?”

Heady’s voice carried the sense of a kid jumping up and down in excitement. <<cool science COOL SCIENCE COOL SCIENCE COOL SCIENCE!!!>>

Frisk rushed over, signing a big wide “YEAH!!” at him. He set down the notebook, and they helped him set up a bunch of scientific-looking equipment around a messy desk while he fiddled with the blade of his knife.

“alright, can i get a swab from your cheek? mmmhm, heeere we go, and!” He dropped the cheek swab into a beaker, where it seemed to dissolve immediately in the bright blue liquid. The liquid drained through a strange stretched funnel into a bowl, which when full poured the liquid, now a shocking magenta, smoothly out into a pan. Something metal stamped down on the pan, hissed, and raised up, revealing a darker purple papery substance imprinted with a complex pattern in black. A roller raced across the surface, turning parts of it white, and then the bottom fell out of the pan, dropping the thin sheet through a hole in the table onto a conveyor, which fed the sheet up into a complex looking machine. Meanwhile, Sans instructed them to put a fingerprint into the top of the machine using an odd greenish ink, which they did, and then he pulled their SOUL out for a scan from a laser that beamed out from the handle of his knife, which he then slid into a slot in the machine. After that they both watched expectantly, until the machine dinged and spat out eight strips of the purple papery material, nearly ten feet of ticker tape, and a white, waxy looking, cube.

Chapter Text

Sans grabbed the ticker tape and scanned along it, looking for something. He found it about four feet in, and apparently it made him mad enough to pull his knife out of the machine and slash it free.

“it says,” he grumbled, “that your existence in a timeline is an anomaly. that’s just patently f--lipping absurd. dang piece of trash can’t find you in nearby universes, but my prank call phone can? ridiculous.” He slammed the offending piece of ticker tape on the scratched-up, empty, end of the table, then drove his knife into it. “i swear, my machines are cursed these days!”

Frisk looked wide-eyed at him, completely lost for words.

“sh--shoot, sorry. i didn’t mean to scare ya, human. come on, i tell you what. grab the chocolate to tide you over and we’ll see about disguising you so we can grab some brunch at the diner, and leave my stupid machines behind us. sound like a plan?”

“Chocolate?”

“yeah, the excess forces from the machine are just perfect to make a little cube of white chocolate so i don’t have to go eat all the time when i’m workin. Here!” He dropped the waxy-looking cube in their hand.

They ate it in one bite. <<Mmmm…>>

<<Hee-hee, you like white chocolate too?>>

Frisk smiled. <<Yeah! Everyone says it’s not real chocolate, but it’s okay as its own thing even if it’s not chocolate, so why would I complain?>>

<<You’re totally right, dude! I can’t believe I never thought to explain it like that!>>

<<Thanks!>>

Sans walked back over to them from his closet. “here, i got some makeup. if i can get paps to put it on ya, we can pass you off for a skeleton. and since you only sign, you won’t give yourself away by talking. it’s the perfect crime--at least, for an afternoon.”

They followed him down to the living room, and waited patiently while Papyrus painted their face into a skull. The sticky paint made their skin crawl, but they set their jaw and insisted to Heady they’d stick it out.

“here, check yourself out.” Sans turned around so that they could see their face reflected in his skull plate. “you look like a real skeleton.”

Papyrus’ makeup work was indeed so accurate they barely recognized their own face as human. They stared at his work in amazement.

<<You look like a monster!>> Heady thought excitedly.

<<It’s weird…>> Frisk thought, brow furrowing. <<I wouldn’t recognize me in a lineup.>>

<<Hmm… that’s good, right! Because it’s a disguise!>>

<<Yeah…>>

“alrighty, human! come on over to the diner with me and let’s get ya some grub.”

Frisk shot Papyrus a thumbs-up and rushed out the door.

The food was good, and they had fun with Sans, but all too soon they were back in the skeleton brothers’ living room, their makeup carefully wiped off.

“HUMAN. I… I HATE TO RUSH YOU. BUT I NEED TO KNOW… A FRIEND OF MINE SAID THAT YOU WERE TRYING TO GO TO THE BARRIER. TO GO… HOME. IS THIS TRUE?”

They nodded sadly.

“CAPTAIN ALPHYS NEEDS SANS TO MAKE A REPORT, SO… YOU SHOULD PROBABLY GO. IF YOU CAN GET AHEAD OF HER AND KEEP GOING THROUGH WATERFALL, IT WILL BE EASIER FOR YOU TO REACH HOTLANDS SAFELY. I WILL GO AND TALK TO DOC, AND TRY TO SEE IF SHE CAN’T BE CONVINCED TO KEEP YOU SAFE ONCE YOU GET TO HOTLANDS.”

“paps… why are you so determined to move them on all of a sudden? i thought we decided we’d at least try to keep them in the house! waterfall is huge, and i don’t want them to get hurt, we can’t just let them keep going without even trying to convince them to stay here, where it’s safe!!”

Papyrus looked down at Sans, his face deeply carved with an emotion Frisk couldn’t place. “NO. IT’S NOT SAFE HERE, SANS. WE CAN’T MAKE THEM STAY IN DISGUISE, LIKE A PRISONER. IT’S NOT RIGHT. I WAS THINKING ABOUT IT WHILE YOU WERE AT LUNCH AND… WE CAN’T KEEP THEM SAFE HERE, SANS. WHAT--WHAT, WHAT ABOUT THEIR HUMAN SOUL? MORE DETERMINED PEOPLE THAN YOU WANT THAT SOUL. THEY NEED TO GET TO TORIEL’S PROTECTION, OR EVEN THROUGH THE BARRIER.”

“i thought you weren’t talking about father!”

“LOOK. SANS, WE’RE SCARING THE HUMAN. CAN WE PLEASE JUST BE CIVIL ABOUT THIS?”

“...fine. hey, babybones. it’s gonna be a long trip for ya, and echoes know you can get lost in waterfall easy. so, uh. take my phone number. and you call me whenever , alright? even if you just want to hear a friendly voice. anything, anything at all, drop me a line, let me know you’re alright, okay?”

“Okay,” Frisk said, and Sans pulled out a regular, not-wired-up, phone like theirs and knocked it gently against their phone.

“my number’s in there now. i’m going out to make the report… i think papyrus intends for you to sneak by while cap’n alphys is distracted. it’s a good enough plan, i guess. but it means you should go as fast as you can. no long goodbyes, not that i’m good at that anyway. and if paps can get you in with doc, i’ll see ya pretty often probably anyway. so, uh, good luck, kiddo. i’ll see you on the other side.”

He turned and walked towards the door, and they turned their head to watch him go from the window, but he was already gone.

“HUMAN… I’M NOT GOOD AT GOODBYES. WHICH IS WHY IT’S SO LUCKY THIS ISN’T GOODBYE!! I WILL SEE YOU IN HOTLANDS, HUMAN! AND GOOD LUCK ON YOUR JOURNEY!”

They turned around in the doorway to look at him. “Thanks, Papyrus, I-- I’ll see you there!” Frisk said, faking a big grin.

“WAIT. YOU’RE NOT LEAVING ARE YOU?”

“Didn’t you just say I should go as soon as possible, while Sans was still reporting?”

“YES, BUT.” Papyrus flailed frustratedly. “WELL. YES. I DID SAY THAT. AND YOU SHOULD. BUT…”

“Hey, you’ll see me soon!”

“YEAH. I WILL. GOOD LUCK.” Papyrus turned around and ran into the kitchen, and they heard a cacophonous clattering of pots and pans.

They set their jaw and stepped out of the skeletons’ front door. Heady gently reminded them to SAVE.

<<The power of two kind skeletons’ support shines within you.❤️Determination/Magic? File Saved.>>

<<Heady?>>

<<Yes?>>

<<I’m scared,>> Frisk thought quietly.

<<Of what?>>

Frik bit their nail thoughtfully. <<What if Captain Alphys is like everyone says? Even Sans seems to think we should be scared of her…>>

<<It’ll be alright. We’ll be strong… We’re gonna free everyone, right? And get you home? Nobody ever said it was gonna be easy, but we’ll do it!!>>

They smiled slightly. He was a good speaker. <<Yeah!>>

<<Come on, let’s get that headstart!>>

Chapter Text

They set off at a quick walk, leaning on their stick. The snow squall on the edge of town where they’d fought Sans had not died down, but they rushed through it dragging their stick to make sure they walked in a straight line. They found themself, suddenly, back on the main road, which had ducked under a larger outcropping with a tall wall at their left side and so was clear again, and they turned back, watching the heavy snow fill in their footprints immediately.

<<It’ll be hard to go back…>> Heady thought, and Frisk wondered if that was fear in his voice or something else.

Their voice was the slightest bit brittle when they replied. <<Good thing we’re not going back, haha!>>

<<Yeah…>>

They knocked the snow off their stick on an outcropping of crystals from the floor. Like the crystals on the ceiling of the cave, these crystals were red, green, and pale purple, and Heady told them this meant they had officially crossed into Waterfall.

<<Is it named that because there’s a big waterfall?>> Frisk asked. They had walked past a waterfall on the trip up the mountain, and they remembered thinking it was cool with a pang--had that really only been four days ago?

<<Well, n--not exactly. Um, you’ll, see…>>

<<Oh,>> Frisk thought. They weren’t sure what to say to that. <<Okay…>

<<We should keep going…>>

They nodded. The next thing they spotted on the path, though, was not a waterfall but a desk shoved up against the wall of the cave, where to their surprise none other than Papyrus was sitting.

“How’d you get here?”

“HUMAN! UNFORTUNATELY I CANNOT STOP WORKING TO CHAT, AND YOU SHOULD KEEP SNEAKING AHEAD, BUT I WANT TO SHOW YOU SOMETHING WHILE YOU ARE HERE.” Papyrus pointed at the blue flowers that grew around the desk. “THESE ARE ECHO FLOWERS. THEY GROW ALL OVER THE MARSH, AND THEY REPEAT BACK ANYTHING YOU SAY TO THEM. SEE?”

Frisk put their ear to the flower, which somehow repeated “SEE?” back to them in Papyrus’ reedy voice.

“I’M DOING AN EXPERIMENT. CAN YOU GIVE ME A CHEEK SWAB? OR, UM, TWO? IN CASE I LOSE ONE?”

“Sure!” They dutifully gave him the samples, and he grinned at them.

“PERFECT! THANK YOU SO MUCH, HUMAN! I WILL GO TO HOTLANDS MOMENTARILY TO SPEAK WITH DOCTOR UNDYNE, I JUST. NEED TO FINISH THIS EXPERIMENT HERE QUICKLY.”

“Okay!”

Continuing down the path, they ran into the first waterfall--a massive thing, easily twenty feet wide, that crashed down into a deep pool and flowed quickly for the width of the path before cascading off another massive drop too tall to see the bottom.

Frisk gaped. <<You said there wasn’t a big waterfall!>>

<<This is, um, actually not that big.>>

They shook their head in amazement. <<It’s enormous!!>>

<<Are there not big waterfalls where you live?>>

<<I guess not…>>

<<Well, we’ll see a cool one soon!>>

They spotted a box by the cave wall, with their bone treat in it. They took this opportunity to store the ribbon from the RUINS, and Asgore’s tea, since they had plenty of healing items now.

They grinned, and followed the path up to where the falls crossed it. The edge of the path was shored up with a slick wooden boardwalk, and as they got closer, they saw that three thin wooden bridges crossed the rushing water, each painted the same color as the dark waters. They couldn’t tell why there were three, so they picked the one closest to them and, grimacing as the cold water hit their shoes, began to cross it. They only made it about six feet, however, before tapping ahead of them with their stick revealed that the bridge had ended.

<<What?!>> Heady demanded.

They retreated quickly back to the path, trying unsuccessfully to stamp the water out of their shoes. <<Ew ew ew ew ew EW EW yuuuuuck>> they groaned.

<<Okay, I’m mad!>> Heady said. <<That’s a good puzzle but it’s designed to get your feet soaked! And getting your feet wet is even worse than getting my p--feet wet ever was! What’s the deal with that?>>

<<My sensory issues,>> they explained, dancing from foot to foot. <<Getting wet is one of the worst things, ever, for them! And now we have to try this two more times! Yuck!>>

<<There has to be a trick!>> Heady said, no more eager to try randomly than they were.

<<Hm…>>

Frisk bent down next to the boardwalk and peered across the surface of the water, but there was no indication of which bridge continued, until--<<Ha!>>

<<What?>>

<<It’s the far one! Look at these huge scratches!>> Frisk put their finger into a huge gouge in the boardwalk, frowning. <<I wonder what made them.>>

<<Maybe a Boss Monster…?>> Heady said, a frown in his voice as well.

<<Like a CEO?>>

Heady laughed. <<No, silly! A boss monster is a kind of monster with a powerful SOUL that’s almost immortal, and w--they have big cat-claws on their paws!>>

<<Oh. Do you think Captain Alphys-->>

<<No, actually… Nevermind.>>

<<Huh.>> Frisk stood up and walked across the bridge as quickly as they could, but halfway across, they saw a disturbance in the waterfall so close they could reach out and--

<<Oh!>> Heady said. <<It’s a door!>>

They pushed, and the door yielded easily, and as it swung inwards a little shelf swung outwards, deflecting the water away from the doorway and creating a little portal in the water. They stepped through, and suddenly, as they did, a warm light came on in the little room. In the golden glow, the room was revealed to be a dry natural cavern, with a worn groove in the center of the floor. The edges of the room were full of rocks and rubble; they poked around in them, and discovered a tutu, squashed flat between a few big rocks and the wall. It had faded so much they could no longer tell its original color, and there were a few minor tears in it, but it seemed that it had passed however many years it had been underground without much damage. They equipped it quickly, tying the trans flag bandanna around one arm so they wouldn’t risk getting mistaken for a girl.

<<Wow, this tutu is a really protective piece of armor!>> Heady said as they equipped it.

<<I wonder who left it behind…>>

<<A human, I think.>> He said pensively. <<That’s weird.>>

<<Yeah. I thought humans couldn’t leave the RUINS.>>

<<But it’s made for a human.>>

<<Weird.>> Frisk said, heading for the exit of the room. They ducked back onto the bridge, grimacing as their shoes hit the cold water and were instantly soaked through once again, and crossed to the other side. They glared across the water. <<Never going back through there again.>>

They kept walking, and the path widened again, though the wall of the cave was still close at their left hand. A huge patch of strange plants grew across the path in a place where water trickled out of the cave wall and ran along the floor, watering the dirt of the path.

<<What are those plants?>>

<<Sea-grass!>> Heady said. <<Or maybe seaweed. I can never remember, hee-hee! They’re semi-aquatic!>>

<<Oh!>> Frisk smiled and rushed forward to investigate. They knelt in the muddy soil in the middle of the patch, their tough jeans protecting their knees from the soil.

The sound of footsteps on gravel made them freeze in place. Nervously they looked up at the source of the noise. The cliff edge obscured the view, but they could see the huge, looming, shadows of the monsters at fault.

One was squat (or was that the angle?) and covered with spikes making a terrifying, demonic silhouette that defied any attempt to describe it. Was that its spiked head at the top, crowned with a semicircle of massive horns, or a hump on a quadruped whose head was down?

The other couldn’t be anything other than Sans.

<< That’s Captain Alphys?!>> Heady gasped.

<<SHH!!!>> Frisk demanded.

Sans cleared his throat. “heya, alph.”

Captain Alphys said something they couldn’t hear; her voice was quiet like a bitter night at their birth home with no heater.

“sorry. trainee sans reporting,” Sans said.

Captain Alphys said something else, very short--probably a yes or no, they thought.

“nothing in snowdin lately. same ol’, same ol’.”

Her voice rose just slightly, and they saw Sans’ shadow shrink back from hers as she berated him.

“okay, okay. yeah, there was a human.” Sans sighed. “aaand I didn’t capture it or send it to the queen.”

She said something else, and Sans shook his head hurriedly.

“no! i didn’t dust them!”

“i know, i know. but trust me, i didn’t.”

She was silent for a long time, surmising him, then said something even more quietly than before.

“no! they’re--”

She cut him off with a harsh note in her voice.

“i know it’ll take years. and believe me, i do want to see the sky. but you can’t, you can’t…”

“no, no, i understand, i--”

The captain cut him off again. Frisk sunk their fingers into the dirt in fear as Sans began to look more and more cowed.

“alph, i--that’s a low blow, that’s. yeah, when you put it like that, i guess it makes better sense than letting them--yeah. alright, i’ll help you kill the poor kid. you know where to reach me.”

His shoulders slumped, Sans turned and walked a few steps away before darkness blinked across their vision and his shadow disappeared.

Frisk stared, horrified, at the spiked shadow that remained. It was still for a few seconds, then slowly stretched as its owner approached the cliff edge. The monster that owned it was short, strongly built, and covered with some kind of slate grey carapace or armor that bore savage spikes. Her face was long, and a horizontal gold stripe on the center of it, the only bit of color on her person, shed a tiny bit of light of its own into the gloom. She glared down into the patch of sea-grass, and Frisk held their breath as golden light sparked over one hand. A huge, black, thing with strings and wheels and a curved black limb with a tiny blue mark over a central handle appeared as the light faded.

<<Is that a crossbow ?>> Frisk asked, their lungs beginning to cramp from holding their breath.

<<I t-think so!>> Heady said.

Another gold flash, and a shape like a golden arrow appeared on the edge of it. They stared at her while she pointed it at the sea-grass, sweeping the tip back and forth as if trying to find somewhere to aim. At last, she turned away and, at a gesture from her free hand, the golden bolt disappeared and she was lost in the sudden darkness.

They exhaled, eyes wide with fear. <<What the hell, Sans?>>

<<Wait, so he’s back to trying to kill us again?>>

<<Maybe it was a bluff?>> Frisk hoped.

<<He didn’t sound like he was bluffing…>>

Frisk shook their head. <<Why would he lie to us and act like our friend and then--?>>

Before Heady could even attempt an answer, they saw someone else moving in the thick grass.

“Hey, who are you?” a low, vaguely familiar, voice called.

Frisk pushed a few fronds of sea-grass aside and found themself face to face with Susie, from the general store in Snowdin.

“Oh! Heya, friend. What are you doing out here?”

Frisk wiggled their fingers nervously, looking for an alibi.

“Nah, I get it. You’re nervous to say you’re sneaking out to see the Captain, in case I dob you in, right? Don’t worry about it, heh. I wouldn’t do that to ya, long as you don’t do it to me.”

Frisk nodded and gave Susie a careful thumbs-up.

“I’m so glad I found someone else who thinks she’s cool. Did you know she joined the Guard when she was sixteen ? She must’ve known she wanted to do this since she was a hatchling!”

“Really?”

“Yeah! And they say she can hit a target from fifty feet away with that crossbow of hers! That’s why I want her to teach me. See, look at this!” As they watched, burgundy magic coalesced in her hands, forming the shape of an axe. “See, I already have this weapon. But watch--” she swung it at a frond of sea-grass, and it barely bit in before disappearing. “I can’t do any damage with it. So I’m sneaking out to watch her, and try to figure out her technique. Oh. I’m rambling again, huh. Sorry. I’ll be up ahead, okay? I want to get to this really good spot where I can watch her make her rounds. You can come, if, uh, if you want.”

“Oh, um, okay!”

Susie rushed off, leaving them alone again.

<<So, at least we can rely on her, right?>>

<<I mean, she can’t fight Captain Alphys, can she?>> Frisk thought. <<And, I mean, it doesn’t sound like she will.>>

<<I mean, we can’t really fight her either, can we?>>

<<I guess…>> Frisk thought, continuing through the sea-grass. They spotted a SAVE point and approached it.

<<A feeling of dread hangs over you, but the power within you shines bright. ❤️Determination/Magic? File Saved.>>

Chapter Text

Frisk forged onwards until they came to another fast-flowing waterfall blocking the path. This time, there was no bridge at all--but there was a sign that read, “When four bridge seeds align in the water, they will sprout, and form a path.” Under the sign was a box of heavy, fist-sized bulbs. Curiously, they dropped one in the edge of the waterfall, and it sank like a stone, sitting immovable at the bottom of the falls and sending out strange, long, tendrils in four directions. They dropped another one onto one of the tendrils, farther away from the edge, and when the tendrils this one set out crossed the other’s tendrils, they tangled instantly into a rope-like connection. They took a third seed and lobbed it so that it fell on the other side of the second, and it did the same. Finally, they lobbed a fourth seed all the way to the other edge, and when it connected with the first three, the bulbs sprouted immediately with tangled, woody growths, which knotted over themselves until they reached the top of the water, but no further.

They tried the “path” with their stick and found, to their surprise, that it held. <<YES!!!>> They walked across it as quickly as they could, fearing that it would break, but it held for a few minutes of poking and prodding after, at which point the growths came apart in twisted chunks and flowed quickly over the falls. On the other side was the same sign, over another box of the bulbs, and they tried to put one in their inventory, but Heady told them it was too heavy, so they just continued over the thin footbridge towards a bend in the path, still basking in the glow of a solved puzzle.

Their SOUL suddenly popped into view and the world went black as a buff horse-mermaid jumped out of the water with a splash, landing in front of them. He grunted and made a muscle, winking at them.

<<Check?>>

<<Aaron, AT 24 DF 12! This bodybuilder seahorse has a lot of HP (HorsePower)!! His SOUL trait is perseverance, but he doesn’t seem like a killer. Stay away from the bottom of the bullet board.>>

Aaron winked at them with his other eye now, and grinned. “Come on in, the water’s fine~”

Frisk ground their teeth. <<He wants to hit on us? I’m a kid! And I have a friend with a very scary axe, even if it doesn’t hurt people! He’s going down!>>

<<Are you-- does that mean you want to FIGHT?>>

<<Not if I don’t have to. Can’t we ACT?>>

<<Yes! Yes, of course! We can flex, or shoo!>>

<<Shoo him off!>>

The red outline set its jaw and shooed the seahorse away.

“You’ll change your mind,” he said with another wink.

A low growl emerged from the back of their throat as they dodged his attacks. <<Flex at him! Just make him go away!>>

<<Yeah, who even is this dude??? Monsters don’t act like this!>> Heady said as the projection flexed a definitely-exaggerated bicep at their opponent.

“Flexing contest? Okay, flex more~!” Aaron said, eyes uncomfortably close to their chest.

<<Go AWAY already!>> Frisk insisted as they continued this uncomfortable impromptu “flexing contest”.

“Nice~ I won’t lose, though!” Frisk took a hit, which only served to make them angrier at him.

<<Do we have to hurt him?>> Frisk wondered.

<<Maybe another flex? If we can win the contest, maybe he’ll just go?>>

The projection flexed again, showing almost comically unlikely muscles, but Aaron flexed still harder--at least until he fell backwards into the water.

Frisk hurried onto the other side of the bridge and flopped, covering their face with their hands. <<AAGH.>>

<<That was… awful.>>

<<Yeah.>>

Without realizing even what they were doing, they pulled out their phone and called Sans for comfort. He  picked up just as the phone was about to go to voicemail.

“what’s eatin ya, kiddo?”

They wiggled their fingers, not knowing what to tell them.

“i hope you’re doing okay out there. i worry about ya, you know.”

A tear slipped out of their eye. “Don’t…”

“nah, i’ll worry about ya until you’re safe home wherever you end up, babybones. ain’t that what you did for me?”

They couldn’t hide a small smile at that thought. It was nice to be worried about.

“alrighty, alph is--oh, fu-rick--hey. human. you wouldn’t happen to be wearing any identifying piece of equipment? like, say, an old tutu?”

Hurriedly they lied to him. “No…”

“aight, sick.” Sans winked at them. “i’ll see you around, human.”

He hung up the phone and they stared at it for a while.

<<So is he our friend, or…?>> Heady wondered.

<<I don’t know…>>

In the room, they found another box of bridge seeds, and set about the puzzle, still trying to hurry ahead of Captain Alphys. The sign over this box said, “If an error is made, the Bell Blossom can clear the falls of Bridge Seeds to try again.” Next to the text was an image of a horned figure tossing something into the top of the falls, which were choked with ineffectual bridges. Growing over the sign was a plant with golden, bell-shaped, blooms.

<<Guess that’s the Bell Blossom. Hm.>>

The waterfall they’d crossed on the bridge this room was thin, just barely too wide to cross, and fast. Near the bridge they’d entered on was a sign sitting in the middle of the stream with tiny writing on it, so the first thing they did was take four bridge seeds and bridge the end of the falls.

<<What? This whole sign is in a language you can’t read.>>

Frisk frowned. <<I think it’s Japanese?>>

<<Who would do that?>>

<<I dunno, maybe Sans, as a prank?>>

They crossed back to the shore and the box of bridge seeds, and this time dropped one a way up the falls, where the path seemed to continue back the way they’d come but on the other side of the cave wall, revealed to be just a support to a large U-shaped cavern. As soon as its tendrils went out, though, the long strand tangled with the tendril of one of the seeds that had formed the useless bridge to the sign, and the woody growths that tried to cover the connection reached their zenith a few feet below the top of the water.

Frisk peered at the failed bridge. <<Oh, so we can only have one bridge at a time, or it connects wrong?>>

<<I guess so…>>

<<So how do we use this Bell Blossom? Throw a flower in the falls?>>

They pulled off a golden blossom and tossed it in, not sure what they were expecting. When it hit the water, a gold stain started spreading out into the water, and when it touched the seeds with their tendrils and growths they withered and were swept quickly away. In a few seconds, the gold was flushed away, and the falls looked like they did when they’d just entered the room.

Frisk picked up a bridge seed and looked out over the water. <<Puzzle solving, take two!!>>

They found a place to drop all four bridge seeds in a line, parallel to each ragged bank and filling the whole fall at its thinnest point, and proudly watched the bridge grow. <<I did it!>>

<<Nice!>> Heady said. <<You’re a natural puzzler, I think!>>

<<My teachers say I’m very analytical,>> Frisk said.

<<Oh! I’ve never been to school…>>

<<It’s not that good,>> Frisk said. <<You’re not missing out on anything. Well, resource is fun. They let me stick my hands in the rice box.>>

<<Oh, that’s nice!>> he said. <<Maybe we can ask “Doc” to give us a rice box when we get there!>>

<<Maybe!>>

They came up on a sheer rock wall, with a door set into it. The door swung open easily, and they gasped. This room was studded with luminescent crystals like the starry night sky all the way up the walls and onto the high, arched, dark, ceiling, and the floor was carpeted in those blue echo flowers. Awestruck, their hands rose. “ Baruch atah Adonai, Eloheinu melech haolam, oseh maasei v'reishit! ”

<<What are those signs?>> Heady enquired.

<<A blessing! I’m thanking G-d for the beauty of the cavern! It’s so amazing down here.>>

<<Oh!>> Heady laughed happily. <<I wish I could show you New Home! It’s beautiful there with all the gardens and towers, and the reflected glow from the magma, and--Oh, I’m rambling, aren’t I.>>

<<No! It sounds beautiful. Maybe “doc” will take us before we go to the barrier!>>

<<Maybe!>> They reached out to touch a SAVE point.

<<You bask in the beautiful sight of the Underground. The power of nature shines within you. ❤️Determination/Magic? File Saved.>>

Chapter Text

They knelt in the flowers that lined the path and raised one to their ear. “Make a wish, then, nerd!” Susie’s voice unmistakable deep voice said.

“As I was saying, a long time ago, we would whisper our wishes to the stars in the sky. If you hoped with all your heart, your wish would come true. Now, all we have are these sparkling stones on the ceiling...”

A cracking teen boy’s voice. “Thousands of people wishing together can't be wrong! The king will prove that.”

“ I wish for sis and I to see the real stars someday…” A chipper kid’s voice said, with a proud swell.

There was a series of clicks and taps from the next one, then. “sagittarius... same as last week’s.”

The others were unclear, and Frisk tried unsuccessfully to decipher the words. They called Sans on a whim after a few frustrating minutes.

“heya, babybones. how are you holding up?”

“Great! But these flowers are really getting to me. I can’t figure out what half of them say!” They swung the camera of the phone down to catch the blue flowers, and Sans made an understanding sort of noise.

“oh, the echo flowers? they musta started repeating each other, recording the ‘voice’ of a bazillion flowers repeating everyone’s wishes ad nauseum. creepy, huh?”

“Yeah… but at least it’s beautiful in here.”

“guess so, but i think it’s--” they would never figure out what Sans thought about the wishing room, because at that moment he looked guiltily over his shoulder and slammed the phone shut, hanging up in the middle of what they thought might’ve been a curse word.

Frisk stared at the winged rune on their screen and the list of numbers. <<What?>>

<<Maybe he forgot he was supposed to be betraying us? Which reminds me, why did you call him to start with?>>

<<Oh yeah! Right, that’s… he’s doing that, yeah.>> Frisk looked down at their phone mournfully. <<We gotta move, then.>>

They kept walking, out a rough carved arch in the rock and onto a bridge that hugged the cave wall along a deep, slow-flowing river. Suddenly, they walked into a strange monster--a turtle with a bath on its back--and it started a fight.

<<CHECK it!>>

<<We’re fighting Woshua! AT 18 DF 5, its SOUL trait is bravery. It’s just a humble germophobe trying to clean up the whole world.>>

Woshua chirupped happily at them. “Wosh u leg!”

Frisk grinned--until it shot out spurts of soapy water at them. They wiggled their SOUL between the droplets, grimacing. <<Ahh!!!>>

<<He just wants to clean you, Frisk!>>

<<I HATE water though!>>

<<Maybe we can get it over with by letting him clean you?>>

Frisk grit their teeth and nodded, and Heady made a projection to ask the monster to clean them.

“Green means clean!!” it chirped, and squirted out more water, but also green puffs of magic. They touched one of those nervously with one finger, and it cleaned and dried their hand. They smiled--it actually felt kind of nice, and Heady informed them that their HP had gone up.

They noticed its name had come up yellow,  but first, they saw a tiny smudge of dirt on the back of its head where it couldn’t reach that was apparently causing it some distress. They reached out with their clean finger and rubbed the dirt off of it, and Woshua sighed happily.

“Wosh u guts!!!” it said, ejecting a bar of soap that bounced off the edge of the bullet board leaving a trail of sparkling suds.

<<That’s… a little ominous.>>

Heady nodded. <<Yeah…>>

Frisk spared it quickly, and it toddled away happily to wash a section of wall. Next to it, a story seemed to be written in luminescent aqua paint on carved panels, and they investigated curiously.

Heady translated the strange writing as they walked. <<The War of Humans and Monsters.>>

<<How old are these runes?>> Frisk asked.

<<They’re from, er, the twelfth century or so. Definitely during the first expansion period.>>

<<And you can read them?>>

<<... yeah.>> He continued reading. <<Why did the humans attack? Indeed, it seemed that they had nothing to fear. Humans are unbelievably strong. It would take the SOUL of nearly every monster just to equal the power of a single human SOUL.>>

<<I didn’t even know there was a war,>> Frisk mused.

They looked at the next panel. <<But humans have one weakness. Ironically, it is the strength of their SOUL. The power allows it to persist outside the human body, even after death.>>

Frisk nodded--this, they had learned in school while they lived at the hostel.

<<If a monster defeats a human, they can take its SOUL. A monster with a human SOUL… a horrible beast with unfathomable power.>>

They frowned. <<Surely a monster with a human SOUL could choose to do the right thing, right?>>

<<Well… There’s a belief that a human SOUL, um--a human SOUL corrupts a monster that has it. The worst of humanity and monsterkind combined.>>

<<That’s stupid.>> Frisk knocked their stick on the ground to illustrate their point. <<Human SOULs probably aren’t any meaner than monsters’ SOULs, because monsters can probably be just as mean as humans, right?>>

<<Hm… I guess!>> Heady read the next panel. <<We have no idea what such a monster might look like… just that they would be equivalent in power to almost every other monster combined.>>

<<Wow…>> Frisk trailed their fingers along the panel, feeling the indentations of the carved words.

At the end of the bridge was a wooden plank floating on the calm, dark, water. They stepped onto it--surprisingly, it held their weight if they sat. They pushed their stick into the water like Asgore had pushed the punt when they first fell, and slowly but surely moved forward. Twenty feet away, and getting closer, was another bridge, more narrow than the one they had walked down, and they aimed for it.

When they stepped onto it at last, and knocked their stick dry, they discovered that the plank had spun away downriver. There was no way back.

They set their jaw, remembering what their rabbi had told them the day they climbed that tree. <<The whole world is a narrow bridge, and the most important thing is not to be afraid.>>

They stepped forwards--and froze. From the stone pillars on the other side of the bridge whistled a golden streak--it lodged between their feet, and they jumped back in shock. A crossbow bolt, jet black and two feet long. They turned their head to where it had came from. Standing in the shadows was Captain Alphys, her foot in the stirrup at the front of the bow, cranking back the string. She lifted the bow and aimed another shot, and Frisk ran as fast as they could.

Three glowing golden bolts passed within inches of them, and they shouted wordlessly.

<<Run, Frisk! Keep going!>>

They couldn’t move as fast as the Captain shot, their weak leg slowing them down, so their progress was slow, zigzagging back and forth to evade the shining projectiles that lodged in the bridge or splashed into the water. They would lunge forward only to draw up short of their goal, a thick clump of sea-grass, then be forced to dance left and right away from the bolts until they caught a lucky gap in the attacks.

At last they reached the sea-grass--just as their leg gave out. They fell inches away from safety, sobbing with bitter pain.

A crossbow bolt struck them and they knew no more.

Suddenly they tasted blood and bile, heard fading words as if from far away. “You are… this world’s future! ...determined!” A hand closed around a hand that was at once theirs and utterly foreign--three-fingered, with--were those--?

Their eyes opened, and the feeling disappeared.

[[Continue]] [[Reset]]

They reached desperately for the button that said Continue, and fell--onto dirt, echo flowers speaking gibberish near their head.

<<Frisk!>>

<<Heady!>>

<<Angels above, thank the stars you’re alright!>>

They grabbed at their chest where they still felt the phantom sensation of a shaft, half expecting to look down at gold feathers.

<<Is there any other way through?>>

Heady frowned. <<No, I think she chose it for the ambush because you have to go that way.>>

<<Rats. Come on.>> Frisk walked carefully straight to the plank, then looked down at their leg and scowled.

<<Why not splint it with the stick and bandanna?>> Heady suggested.

<<Good idea!>>

They splinted their leg carefully, testing their weight as they walked. It held, and they grimaced looking down at the plank.

<<You’ll have to paddle.>>

Gritting their teeth, they paddled their way across the pond. The cold water felt like knives on their sensitive skin, and they got off as fast as possible and started walking down the bridge, slightly stilted with the splint and without a walking stick.

When the first bolt landed between their feet, they broke into a run without looking. It was faster this way, though less steady--several times they tumbled to the ground and had to struggle to their feet as fast as possible, and once a bolt sunk deep into their stick, vanishing once its momentum was spent but knocking them onto their weak knee.

Finally they escaped into the sea-grass, hiding from the Captain’s sight. They fell to the damp ground, breathing hard.

Stomping footsteps followed them, and they bit their hand in fear. The captain was tramping through the grass, getting nearer and nearer and--

Susie jumped up, startling her into stepping backwards.

“Hey, Captain Alphys. Can I get your help with something?

They heard the low rumble of the Captain’s voice through her helmet, but they couldn’t quite make out what she was saying.

“It’ll only take a minute! Can you show me how you do the thing with the, uh--”

Captain Alphys thumbed a switch on the side of her crossbow impatiently. The sound of a phone broke off Susie’s question, and the Captain sighed.

She touched the side of her visor, which ringed all the way around the side of her head. There was a breathless pause as Frisk strained to hear what she was talking about.

“You’ve… got to go? But--” Before Susie could finish her thought, the Captain marched back the way Frisk had come, her long spiked tail swinging behind her.

Frisk poked their head through the tall sea-grass and waved at Susie.

“Hullo again.” Susie waved back at them. “So you are sneaking out to see the Captain too. That’s the closest I’ve ever gotten to her, heh.”

“Wow…” Frisk signed.

“I just got so lucky. But I’m sure it’ll be your turn to get lucky soon.”

“Thanks,” they signed. “But it’s okay if you can talk to her first, because you were here first.”

“Aw, don’t be shy. I won’t steal your shot, I promise. Besides, it’s not like I live here either, heh.”

“Where are you from?”

“Nowhere!” Susie said with a toothy grin. “I’m… feral. No one’s in charge of me, heh heh.”

Frisk bit their lip. “Don’t you get lonely?”

“Don’t you? That’s why I wanted a friend like me. Someone who isn’t stuck in one place.”

They smiled shyly.

“Anyway, I’m gonna go to this one place she goes to think when she gets back from big projects. I got this feeling I’m gonna get lucky again. See you around.” Susie walked off, hat pulled low on her head.

<<Wow.>>

They continued walking through the tall sea-grass, and came out into a low tunnel. Pushed against the side of the tunnel was a table, and on the table was three different kinds of neatly cubed cheese. A rambling tendril of echo flowers grew along the ground. Frisk bent down and put their ear to one curiously.

“Squeak,” it said, and the noise echoed back among the other flowers, “squeak, squeak, squeak, squeak…”

<<Knowing that lots of cheese is available for a mouse in need… the power of altruism shines within you. ❤️Determination/Magic? File Saved.>>

Chapter Text

They kept going, passing out of the tunnel, and found-- Papyrus?!

“Papyrus,” they signed, “Weren’t you going to talk to ‘Doc’?”

“YES! WOULD YOU LIKE SOME SPAGHETTI?”

They frowned. “How’d it go with Doc?”

“IT’S HOMEMADE, HUMAN! AND YOU’RE LOOKING FAR TOO THIN, ANYWAY. I’M THE SKELETON, NOT YOU! NYEH HEH HEH…”

“Who are you, my Bubbe?”

“NO? I’M PAPYRUS…”

“No, I mean--”

“IS YOUR MEMORY OKAY? DO WE NEED TO GO TO THE DOCTORS? DO I NEED TO REINTRODUCE MYSELF? DO YOU KNOW WHO PAPYRUS IS?”

“No, I mean, yes, I mean--”

“DO I KNOW WHO PAPYRUS IS, REALLY? AIEEE…” Papyrus sank down the cave wall to the floor, clutching his head.

They knelt next to him. “Papyrus…”

“IT’S ALRIGHT… I’M JUST HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS… COME BACK IN A FEW MINUTES…”

“Okay…”

To their right there was a wide marsh of gently glowing cyan water and thin black mud paths, and to their left a shallow cave where they spotted a strange glow. Curious, they poked their head in to discover the little wizard guy from Snowdin, who grinned to see them and stopped muttering in a strange language to wave with one glowing orb. “Vendimus!!”

<<Still selling magicicles!>>

<<Yum!>>

Frisk counted out 30 G and held up two fingers.

The orb on the left blinked and spun and shot out sparks in the shape of the number 25. They frowned a little at the increase in price, but dutifully added two more 10 G coins and handed them over.

“Please and thank you!” Two magicicles appeared in their free hand.

Their hands were full, so they just smiled and backed out of the room.

They turned back to where Papyrus had been sitting only to find him gone.

Heady was gobsmacked. <<What?>>

<<I don’t get it either! He said come back in a few minutes but then he left.>>

<<We could keep the magicicle for him for later, I guess…>> They put the magicicles in their inventory.

A small, mushroom-looking, monster, scurried up to them, bumped into their leg, stepped back, and looked at them curiously. “What’s a star?”

They raised their hands to sign, but it continued.

“Can ya touch it? Can ya eat it? Can ya kill it?”

“Um…” They wiggled their fingers nervously.

“Are you a star?”

“...No.”

<<Hey Heady?>>

<<Yeah?>>

<<Do monsters really not know what stars are?>>

Heady seemed upset by something. <<Mostly, yeah…>>

<<Wow…> Frisk knelt down and freed their stick from their splint, rolling their foot gently to restore what circulation it had. <<We need to free them. The stars… well, have you seen them, Heady?>>

<<Yeah.>>

<<They’re beautiful, aren’t they?>>

<<Yeah.>> His voice was clipped and odd.

<<What’s wrong?>>

Heady’s voice carried the sense of a shrug. <<Nothing.>>

Frisk frowned as they continued into the swamp. The sound of echo flowers drifted through the air.

“Hey, aren’t you going to make a wish?”

“Y-you’d just laugh…”

“No way! I’m not that mean, trust me!”

“Haha--”

Their phone rang loudly, drowning out the flowers. They picked it up, and saw Sans. His face softened as he saw them.

“you’re alright! i’m so sorry, i had to tell her something, so i said you were wearing the tutu. you weren’t lying to me about the tutu, were ya?”

Frisk stared at him. “I was…”

“aw, he--ck. it looks like you survived, though, at least, right?”

They nodded.

“hey. babybones. i… dunno what to do. i don’t wanna betray ya, but… i can’t bring myself to betray alph either. so… uh. watch out with me, alright? i’m trying to help, but it’s gonna be a trickier puzzle even than trying to off ya quietly. she’s clever, kid. don’t you underestimate her just because she isn’t book smart, aight?”

Frisk nodded gravely.

“you’re a good kid, buddy.” He hung up, leaving them staring at the phone.

Frisk pressed ahead through the shallows, grimacing each time their sodden shoes splashed in and out of the water.

A soft hiss behind them alerted them to something’s presence, and they jumped, but all they saw was a small and quickly dissipating cloud of steam.

Another hiss sounded soon after, this one generating slightly more steam, which took longer to clear.

A third hiss, and a fourth, came in quick succession, filling the room with water vapor and making Frisk shut their eyes and duck their face into their shirt, the wet air sparking their sensory issues. When they opened their eyes, a little man made out of fire was standing on a rock, flapping his hands to shake water off them.

“Heh, I’m HEATS FLAMESMAN,” he said. “Remember my name!”

Frisk frowned. “What are you doing?”

His voice was melodious and mischievous. “I’m just a little fire spirit, telling you my name for free, freely given, so long as you remember it, no need to pay me back--”

Frisk, covered in droplets of condensation, was in no mood for this. “Why would I pay you for a name?”

“Well, since it is my true name, I should think it’d be worth quite a bit, even if I’m just telling you what it is! Now, may I know your Name?” He pronounced it with an uppercase N, and peered curiously at Frisk.

<<I don’t think this is a good idea…>> Frisk thought.

<<Really?>> Heady asked earnestly. <<He seems nice enough…>>

“Hm, picky picky. Well I suppose I could get by with one of your Names, if you’re in such a divided mind about it.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Oh, nothing, nothing. Still, can’t I have just one little Name?”

Frisk shook their head. “I think not today, but thank you, Mister Heats Flamesman,” they signed coolly.

“Well, I suppose there’s no harm asking. As long as you remember that name, it’s alright if you don’t give me yours, Mx. A good day to you, and safe travels to the capitol.”

Frisk was about to sign a brisk goodbye when Heats Flamesman jumped from the rock into the water, disappearing in another plume of steam. They winced as the water fell on their face.

<<Do you think we’ll ever even know what that was about?>> Frisk wondered ruefully.

<<Nope,>> Heady said with a mental shrug. <<Fire spirits are weird . All sorts of stuff going on that you and I won’t ever need to know about.>>

<<Ooookay…>> Frisk thought with an eye roll and kept going, eventually, thankfully, making their way back up onto dry-ish land.

Before they even noticed, they were in a FIGHT.

<<SHYREN hides in the corner but somehow encounters you anyway!>>

<<What?>>

Slowly but surely, out of the darkness came a fish with thick bangs clinging to a long scaled monster, creating the appearance of a single piscine siren.

<<CHECK her?>>

<<Shyren, 19 AT 0 DF. Her SOUL trait is kindness. She’s too ashamed to sing her deadly song.>>

<<Deadly song? WHOAH!>> Frisk’s SOUL was suddenly the target of a few aimless music notes generated by a quiet toot from Shyren. <<What happens if we hum to her? Can we give her a target to aim at with those notes or something so we can dodge easier?>>

<<Maybe! It’s worth a shot. Hm…>> Heady focused quietly for a few seconds before a red outline of themself appeared around their SOUL. Making a few gestures that Frisk recognized as fitting with music notes they had learned, the projection hummed quietly.

Shyren sang along quietly with the notes Frisk recognized. “Si, re, si, re, si, mi, si, mi…” The higher notes floated up, and the lower ones sank down, allowing Frisk to weave carefully between them.

<<Shyren seems more comfortable singing along.>>

<<Again!>>

This time the signs came faster, and Syren followed, somehow making a harmony with herself--or was that the echoes of the humming of the spell Heady had cast? “Si Fa Si Fa So Fa So Mi Re Re…”

<<Monsters are drawn to the music… It’s becoming a concert, Frisk!>>

<<How do you know?>> Frisk tried to see beyond the FIGHT, but it was as impossible as ever.

<<Well, I’m not you, so I guess I’m not fully in the FIGHT.>>

<<Well, let’s keep humming!>>

Heady had Frisk dance and then gracefully melded the note signs into the projection’s version. Shyren sang along happily. “Mi-so-mi-so-mi-si-la-si-so!”

<<Papyrus is selling concessions!>>

<<Can we smile and wave to him!>>

The projection smiled, winked, and waved a hand out in the direction of their audience--or at least, where they assumed their audience must be. Shyren kept the beat going, tapping it out with her fins and sending blue percussion notes at them in a narrow bullet board.

<<Alright, let’s bring the music back!>>

This time, when Heady asked them to perform for him, they planted their stick, dropped, and did the breakdance tricks they’d learned at the hostel from their friend Elijah. The six-step, the babyfreeze, the kip-up, and drop into a bow, the whole time carefully keeping their weight off their weaker leg. Heady thought for a measure, then the red projection followed, signing as it went. Frisk could no longer keep track of the notes, dodging on pure instinct. A few close calls, one last dramatic toss of their SOUL, and it came down right in their hands as they pulled another spin. The audience roared, and Frisk felt something soft pattering on their head and shoulders.

<<What’s hitting us?>>

<<Socks! The audience is throwing clothing at us!>>

<<Ooh, grab some!>>

Heady obliged, helping them stow the dry socks safely in their inventory. <<It’s sold out!>>

<<Wow…>> Frisk stared into the darkness, knowing the room must be packed with monsters. <<Uh… keep humming, I guess.>>

As they tried to dance another move, their hand slid on their slick walking stick and disaster struck. Their weak leg slipped underneath them, and they stifled a shout as they hit the floor. Immediately they shifted their grip and hauled themself to their feet, shaken and dazed with the pain. The projection followed their path, and Heady told them it looked almost intentional to the audience, but Frisk had edged over the fine line between happy and overstimulated. Shyren’s song hit their ears like a razorblade, and their SOUL took several hits, making them wince in pain and their HP drop.

<<I think it’s time to say goodnight, Frisk.>>

<<...yeah…>> Frisk panted. Luckily, Heady could handle this spell on his own, and the projection got Shyren to take her bows, showing Frisk that her name, which she had hidden shyly during the FIGHT, was yellow. Frisk spared her with a bow, and light filtered back into the room. The room was indeed full of monsters--many mermaids and mermen, fish, turtles (including one or two with a bath on their back) and plants and slimes of various sorts. The monsters went to mob them with pens and socks, but suddenly Papyrus shouted for them to get out of the way.

“HUMAN! I JUST RECALLED YOU ARE RUNNING LATE TO YOUR NEXT CONCERT. THIS WAS VERY NICE BUT UNFORTUNATELY YOU DON’T HAVE ANY TIME TO SIGN AUTOGRAPHS. COME HERE WITH ME.”

Chapter Text

Papyrus rushed up to them, lifted them up, and set them on his shoulders, then began quickly striding towards a little arch set into the cave wall. Once they were out of view of the disappointed crowds, Papyrus made an effort to speak a little quieter, though the noise of the crowd dispersing covered his voice well. “HUMAN. YOU SEEM DISTRESSED. HAVE YOU BEEN GOING HUNGRY?”

They shook their head, then signed back, “I tripped and hurt my leg. Took a couple hits too.”

“I SOLD OUT OF EVERYTHING AT THE CONCERT, UNFORTUNATELY. HAVE YOU GOT ANYTHING IN YOUR INVENTORY OR SHOULD I TRY TO CALL SANS.”

Remembering that Sans was betraying them now, they pulled out the two magicicles from their inventory. “One for you,” they signed, holding the two packets together in one hand to sign.

“OH! WOWIE, T-THANK YOU! I DON’T NEED ONE RIGHT NOW, THOUGH, SO WHY DON’T YOU EAT ONE AND PUT THE OTHER AWAY FOR LATER? THE FIRST ORDER OF BUSINESS IS TO HEAL YOUR HP.”

They opened one magicicle, putting the other away in their inventory. They bit into the icicle, the cold strange on their teeth, and felt their HP restore itself. Purple swirls corkscrewed through the air around them as they ate. “Did you talk to this Doctor Undyne yet?”

“YES. AND I’LL TELL YOU ALL ABOUT IT. BUT FIRST, WE HAVE TO GET YOU BACK ON YOUR FEET. ER. FOOT. CAN YOU STAND UP FOR ME, HUMAN?”

Frisk got slowly to their feet, leaning on their stick.

“YOU LET ME CHECK THAT EVERYONE’S LEFT, ALRIGHT?”

The skeleton rushed over to the doorway (his booty shorts said “0 days since our last AMAZING PAPYRUS incident”, with AMAZING PAPYRUS in flame print and the rest embroidered in cursive) and looked out. “ALL CLEAR. DID YOU GET STRESSED BY ALL THE FAME?”

“A little,” Frisk signed. The idea of being a star intrigued them, but being thrust onstage without warning and expected to dance for their life was overwhelming. “I like to dance, though.”

“YOU WERE VERY GOOD AT IT! I WISH I DANCED AS WELL AS YOU DID. I’VE HEARD ALL KINDS OF STORIES ABOUT YOUR EXPLOITS ONSTAGE.”

“Really?”

“YES, METTABLOOK CAME TO ME JUST AFTER YOU LEFT AND INSISTED I HEAR ALL ABOUT THIS HUMAN WHO JOINED HIM ONSTAGE!”

“Oh!” They thought fondly back to that stage in the ruins. “Wait, he mentioned you!”

“H-HE DID? WOWIE!!!” Frisk was certain they saw stars in Papyrus’ eyes. “WELL, IF YOU’RE ALRIGHT I MIGHT JUST FIND HIM AGAIN AND TELL HIM ABOUT YOUR CONCERT! I’M SURE HE’D BE DELIGHTED!”

They gave him the go-ahead, confident in their ability to keep moving now that the magicicle had taken the edge off their sensory overload and healed them to full HP. He raced off, barely seeming to look where he was going, and was gone in a second.

They looked curiously around the room they were standing in. Against one wall was a screen and stylus, like they’d seen in school. Curiously, they picked up the stylus and tapped the screen, turning it on. On the screen was a simple coloring-book style drawing of a human with big eyes, simple round blushes on each cheek, and a striped shirt. In one hand they were carrying a SOUL, and in the other they held a dagger. Along the bottom of the screen was a color picker--Frisk tapped red, and then tapped the stripe on the human’s shirt, turning it bright red. They giggled a little as they used the interface to turn their skin green, their hair white, their dagger black, and their SOUL silver. But Heady, they noticed, wasn’t giggling, not even when they turned the drawing’s blushes pale yellow.

<<Are you alright?>>

<<...>>

This silence worried them, and they hastily set down the stylus and ran away from the room. There were more glyphs in this room, and Heady solemnly translated, refusing any attempt by Frisk to talk about them.

<<This power has no counter. Indeed, a human cannot take a monster SOUL. When a monster dies, its SOUL disappears. And an incredible power would be needed to take the SOUL of a living monster. There is only one exception. The SOUL of a special species of monster called a Boss Monster. A Boss Monster’s SOUL is powerful enough to persist after death. If only for a few moments. A human could absorb this SOUL.>>

The next panel of runes was defaced. Someone had chopped half of the runes out of the wall, and the ones that remained were painted over with graffiti--it looked like a complex version of the rune that Frisk had seen so often Underground, except that the wings were missing. Underneath it was scrawled “HUMAN AND MONSTER”, and below that, a signature they couldn’t read.

In the next room, however, Heady’s silence only got deeper and more worrying as they inspected an old tapestry, soaked through with water from the cavern ceiling. They rushed away quickly, but a bucket of umbrellas caught their eye and they ended up turning back to set one over the tapestry. It dried surprisingly quickly, and as it did, a song played from some hidden music box.

Heady’s voice choked back a sob.

<<What’s wrong?>>

<<Someone left this here… to be rained on… they must’ve forgotten…>>

Frisk stared at the tapestry, confused. The picture on it was the same as the picture on the screen, but in full color--a white-skinned human with brownish reddish hair and red eyes, wearing a green and yellow shirt and black pants, with a silver dagger and a red SOUL. Someone had taken the picture of the child from another tapestry, though, and sewn it over the middle of this one. They tried to pry it up to peek underneath, but whoever it was had been thorough. They stepped back and looked from a distance again--something about it was familiar, somehow. While they thought, they walked back to the other room and colored in the picture on the screen.

Surprising them, a door swung open on the far wall. They peered inside--a cut blue-green gem was sitting on a table. They looked at it curiously.

<<Oh… it’s a legendary artifact. Part of the Crown Delta.>>

<<The who what-a?>>

<<Crown delta. It’s, um. Some gems that the royal family have had for a while. They used to be part of the original Delta Rune.>>

<<A what rune?>>

<<The Delta Rune. It represents the angel who will come to free monsters from the underground.>>

<<Is that the winged thingy I keep seeing everywhere?>>

<<Yeah.>>

Frisk reached out to pick it up--but their inventory was full. <<What?>>

<<You’re carrying too many cats.>>

<<Cats?>> They looked into their inventory. Indeed, a grey tabby was snoozing, filling the bottom of the list. They took him out and set him on the ground.

<<You deployed the cat?!>> Heady said, shocked, as the cat jumped onto the table, knocking the gem off. It leapt after the gem, batting it with its paws until it rolled straight through a wall. Unperturbed, the cat jumped after it, disappearing.

Frisk rushed to the wall, scrabbling for the priceless gem. <<What?!>>

<<I guess it’s gone…>>

Frisk’s heart raced. <<We can’t tell anyone . What if we get in trouble!>>

<<I mean, I don’t think we can get in more trouble than the guard captain trying to kill us.>> He gave a feeble laugh.

Frisk frowned, but walked out of the room and down the hall again. This time when they reached the bucket of umbrellas they grabbed one and continued, trying to leave behind the tapestry that had so upset their friend. Water poured down from the ceiling, so they put up the umbrella--it was rainbow colored, which made them smile. They kept walking, carefully avoiding every puddle.

Suddenly, they spotted Susie skulking under an outcropping, trying to stay dry. They waved to her.

“Heya. I was trying to get to the next spot that’s good for watching the Captain, but this rain… totally sucks. Would you mind, uh. Sharing your umbrella?”

Frisk nodded, shifted their stick quickly under their arm, and waved their friend over excitedly.

“Thanks. C’mon, you can come with me to the next lookout point, over on the boardwalks. I’ll hold the umbrella for ya too, so you can sign. C’mere, dude, I won’t bite.” As she took the umbrella for them, she grinned, and Frisk noticed that she had a lot of teeth. “I save that for my enemies.”

“You have enemies?”

“Like… cake.” She laughed, and Frisk couldn’t help laughing with her at the thought of her savaging a cake. “Cake… is my enemy. And rain.”

“You bite rain?”

“I wish.” They walked a little way further. “I’m glad you think Captain Alphys is cool too. Everyone thinks she’s too scary, but I think that’s what makes her great. That, and she never fails to find whoever she’s hunting down. If she was after me--” Susie laughed acerbically. “Well, I’d need a change of pants.”

Frisk nodded, worried.

“So, back when I went to school, the queen came through to teach us a lesson about kindness. Can you imagine? What a wuss! We had to pretend to be humans all day, and do things like “go to the bathroom” and “shop for clothes”. I know it was supposed to teach us compassion for humans, but it just felt like a waste. I think she loves humans more than she loves monsters. But she’s going to have to go to war anyway, because humans hate peace. At least, they do in all the history books I found in Alphys’ trash. I can see why she dropped out of school and taught herself. She’s so tough, she’ll end the war as soon as it starts. Heh heh heh.”

Frisk had a lot of questions. “You went through her trash?”

“Uh. I just… really think she’s neat.”

Frisk snorted. They’d heard of crushes before, even though they’d never had one themself.

“Besides, it’s good practice for when I join the guard and get to track down criminals. Garbology, you know. I bet you Captain Alphys goes through suspects’ trash all the time.”

Frisk sort of knew about garbology from that old puzzle book at the hostel called Spyology that they’d wanted to solve for themself but the rabbi had insisted they share. They nodded uncertainly. “So you want to go to war?”

“Uh, duh . Don’t tell me you actually fell for the Queen’s pacifist act. Even if she does love humans, she still lets them die and take the SOULs. There’ll be nothing else to do but go to war when we reach the surface.”

Frisk’s hands were shaky as they thought of what that would mean for their home. “Do you think it’ll happen soon?”

“I can only hope, man. That’s all we can do.” Susie sighed.

Chapter Text

They passed out from under a particularly low overhanging ledge and Frisk slowed to a halt in surprise. In front of them was a sheer cliff, and on the other side of a wide river was a massive castle. The whole view was lit by thousands of sparkling blue sun-stones, and Frisk felt a sharp pang in their chest that they weren’t entirely sure was just from the beauty of the scene. Susie looked out at it too for a bit, then continued on when Frisk was ready. Eventually they passed back into a tunnel where water dripped from the high ceiling. 

They came to an irritatingly high ledge, with some torn up yellow caution tape at the bottom. Frisk sighed and put back their umbrella so they could try to jump up and catch the edge, but it was too high and they only scraped their hand.

<<You’re not going to be able to climb this one.>>

Frisk was almost relieved enough to hear Heady in a talking mood again that they forgot about rushing ahead. Almost.

“Hey, this ledge freaking sucks, man. Normally I’d climb it, but I busted my shoulder, so I can’t exactly pull you up after me.” She thought for a second. “Hey, my friend has this neat trick he does. I wonder if I can pull it off…”

She screwed up her eyes and summoned a red cloud of magic around her. Suddenly, sparks flew and the cloud cleared, and Susie was standing on all fours. “I did it!!! Stool Forme!”

<<She got on her hands and knees?>>

<<STOOL FORME, Heady! Show some respect!>>

<<That’s not even how form is spelled, though!>>

“Climb on up, man. Don’t worry about me, I always find a way through, heh heh.”

Frisk carefully climbed on Susie’s back, then onto the ledge. They waved goodbye to her and rushed immediately for the SAVE point they saw in the distance.

<<The power of the history and beauty you’ve seen in this region shines within you. ❤️Determination/Magic? File Saved.>>

<<Heady?>>

<<Yeah?>>

Frisk sighed, not sure of what to say. <<If there’s any way I can help you feel better, just tell me, alright?>>

<<Just… can you try your hardest to stay safe? I think when we die, and go back, those memories, maybe-->> He trailed off, seeming to have confused himself with what he was saying. <<I just don’t know if I can go through dying again right here. This place is too… immediate, I guess. It just reminds me of when I died the first time and…>> he laughed nervously. <<I guess I’m still being a crybaby about it.>>

<<I’m sorry…>> Frisk reached out for the SAVE point and activated the magic effect, hoping it would give them a little more cushion. <<The power of the history and beauty you’ve seen in this region shines within you. Determination/❤️Magic? DF up until next SAVE!>>

They passed some more ancient writings, and Heady translated. <<The humans, afraid of our power, declared war on us.>>

<<We did?>>

Heady’s voice nodded. <<They attacked suddenly, and without mercy. In the end, it could hardly be called a war. United, the humans were too powerful, and us monsters, too weak. Not a single SOUL was taken, and countless monsters were turned to dust.>>

<<Dust?>>

<<Monsters turn to dust when w… when they die. Remember those monster graves in the RUINS? Those beloved items held the dust of the monsters, or at least I assume they did. Asgore knew how to bury a monster properly.>>

<<Oh.>> Frisk thought about this for a while. <<So most of the monsters died in this war, and I never even heard of it? That’s horrible!>>

<<Yeah…>>

Frisk kept walking, deep in thought, out of the tunnel and onto a boardwalk. Suddenly, a golden crossbow bolt split the planks in front of them, shooting up from the maze of platforms beneath! Frisk took off at a run, their stick thumping on the wood. The ground next to them glowed yellow, and another bolt shot out of it. As soon as it did, more yellow spots sprang up.

<<Dodge those spots!>>

<<I’m trying!>>

The boardwalks were twisted into a maze, and Frisk rushed back and forth avoiding the bolts as they tried to find their way free.

<<Let me help!>>

<<How?!>>

<<Left!>> Frisk turned sharply and raced down another boardwalk.

<<Right! Left, straight! Right! Right! Left! Straight… LEFT! Okay, keep going, keep going keep going-- RIGHT!>>

They followed his instructions, and soon the boardwalk spread out from a thin path into a huge floor. The spots multiplied as they rushed across it until there were ten times as many, and they ducked onto another thinner boardwalk through a cave. They kept going, breathing hard, until… they reached a dead end.

<<What?!>>

<<I don’t know what to do, I don’t know what to-->>

Captain Alphys stormed up to them, and they backed all the way up to the edge of the boardwalk.

“Please don’t hurt me, please, please, I’m sorry, don’t--”

She nocked another bolt and their hand slowed and stopped signing, fear rising in their throat as she stared at them.

<<What do we do?!>>

<<I don’t know!>>

The bolt hit them in the shoulder with a feeling like being punched. They staggered back another step, but there was no more boardwalk. They fell, eyes closed and keening with pain, until a sudden merciful blackness hit them and their consciousness fell away.

A high, clear, sort of familiar, voice spoke. “Okay! So, this is for you if you miss my voice while I’m sick. Trust me, it’s gonna be alright, okay? We’re gonna do this, and then we’ll be together forever! And free! And it’s so much better than you doing it, because, uh--” the voice sniffled and hiccupped. “I don’t want to see you get hurt like that! You don’t deserve it! So, uh, you just have to stay strong! I know you’re not a crybaby, so it’ll probably be really easy for you and you’ll never need this, but just in case you do, I wanted to say I love you! You’re the best sibling anyone could ever have. And you’re gonna do great! What’s it dad always says?” The speaker did a fake deep voice. “ ‘You are the future of humans and monsters.’ Hee hee hee! What? You’ve got them! Okay, bye, future--” The name was cut off as Frisk awoke with a start.

<<Frisk! Are you alright?!>>

<<What-->>

<<I was so confused, there was a human, and we were running away, but you were littler and your shirt was all ripped up and-->>

Frisk frowned. <<I thought I heard this voice, talking about some kind of dangerous thing and being sick…>>

<<What?>>

<<I must’ve just imagined it, though. Maybe you imagined the human?>>

Heady frowned. <<Maybe…>>

Frisk struggled to their feet. They were laying in a tangle of golden flower vines, and the crossbow bolt was still lodged in their shoulder. They took out the last magicicle, then carefully grasped the bolt near the head and grit their teeth and yanked it free like they’d seen in movies. The pain hit them like a truck, and they doubled over, clutching the bolt, soaked in blood from their shoulder. The arrowhead had ripped open their flesh on its way out.

Suddenly their whole arm went numb. <<Eat it! Quick!>>

Frisk’s mind swam as they shoved the magicicle into their mouth. The cold stang their teeth and the happy orange lightning bolts seemed mockingly out of place despite the fact that safe numbness was spreading from the wound. Slowly, as their HP rose, the wound stopped bleeding and closed up, leaving a thick knotted scar. They poked it, but felt nothing. <<Heady?>>

<<Ow…>>

<<Are you okay?>>

<<I think… we will be…>>

Slowly the feeling of numbness faded from their arm. Their new scar still ached, but they could move the shoulder. They felt around for their stick, and once they had it, they wiggled out of the vines and into the shallow water below.

Immediately their sensory issues kicked back in. <<AUGHHH!!!>> They splashed as quickly as they could over to a floating bit of boardwalk and crawled onto it, shaking. A SAVE star floated past.

<<This is the biggest waterfall in Waterfall. Trash from the world above flows through into the dump, and the bottomless Abyss below. The power of this endless cycle of worthless garbage shines within you. ❤️Determination/Magic? File Saved.>>

They pushed the piece of boardwalk along with their stick over to a stack of trash. There were some brands they recognized--they rescued a half full mega box of matzah and took out the plastic freshness bags, then stripped off their shoes and socks. They put the plastic bags over their feet, then the pair of dry socks they’d caught over the bags, and finally knocked as much moisture as they could out of their shoes and put them back on. They kept hunting through the garbage now, curiously. They found a DVD case for an anime that had been broken into with what seemed like a knife, except that it had left scorch marks on the sides of the cuts.  There was also a cooler of freeze-dried space ice cream, which was far enough away from the water they felt confident taking both of the ice creams.

Chapter Text

They kept paddling for awhile, past an old, beat-up, dummy. They looked into its one button eye curiously, wondering if it would be like the angry tutorial dummy from the RUINS. Seeing no signs of life, they paddled for a dry-looking tunnel. Suddenly, however, the dummy shot through the water like a torpedo and barred the exit.

The dummy spoke in a kind, vaguely british, voice. “It’s so nice to finally meet a human… I am a ghost that lives in a dummy. I hate to ask, but there’s simply no way around it… Give me your SOUL.”

<<What?!>>

The world blacked out around Frisk, and the worn old dummy appeared in front of them.

<<CHECK it?>>

<<We’re facing Elder Dummy. AT 30, DF… um, “YES”. Their SOUL trait is kindness. Since they’re a ghost, physical attacks will fail.>>

<<Well, I don’t want to attack them, but-->> Frisk’s thought was cut off by a shower of strange scribbles of magic headed for their SOUL. They were only barely able to dodge them all.

“Even if you fight back, you couldn’t stop me while I’m incorporeal. I haven’t found the perfect body yet… and before I do, I have to do this.”

Frisk asked Heady to ask, “What plan?”

“I need to fix things with my estranged cousin,” the Dummy said, flinging another round of scribbles. “I found the perfect body for her… I just need to get it to her, and say I’m sorry.”

“Why do you need my SOUL, though?”

“To get into the RUINS, to see her… It’ll be nicer for you to be buried there anyway if the Queen has to go to war, so just hand over your SOUL, please. Stop making me do this.”

Frisk angrily dodged a barrage of long, thin, wiggly lines. “Can’t you just go through the door?”

“Oh, I could, but I can’t bring such a big thing with me. You really need to see it, it’s a lovely articulated catgirl samurai doll with seven katanas . It’s just the thing for her!” The dummy smiled at the thought.

Frisk frowned. “Where’d you get something like that?”

“Do you promise not to tell? I got it at the brick in Hotlands. I’m not sure what kind of experiments they were doing on it, but I think I’ve rescued it from a very strange life indeed.”

Frisk frowned at the strange term. As far as they knew, masonry didn’t usually spawn catgirls, let alone katanas. “The… brick?”

“Well, it’s a good thing you won’t need to go there now. I… shudder to think what she’d do with a human cadaver, even if the SOUL did go to the queen. Really, it’ll be better if you just give up your SOUL to me.”

Frisk was getting tired of being discussed like they were already dead. “What if I keep my SOUL?”

“But… You see, I need to get this to my cousin. You just don’t understand!” they finally burst out. “For centuries we’ve been on other sides of this stupid argument. I haven’t even met my nephew, and she doesn’t know my child, and they were going to be best friends when they were born! And now they’ve gone and become corporeal, so I can’t even bring them to meet him.” The dummy’s scribbles turned into lines and lines of scrawled words, going far too fast for Frisk to read.

Frisk was hit by several of them, making their shoulder throb in pain and their HP drop. They squirmed, gritting their teeth.

“You’re hurting me!”

“I have to do this! Do you even know what it’s like to know you’ll never see your family again?! Because of some stupid argument? For centuries ?!”

Frisk folded their arms. They hated being talked to like they didn’t know anything about life. “Well,” their projection said for them, “I don’t know about centuries, but I did fall into the Underground and get trapped under a barrier away from all my friends! And before that, I ran away from my dumb birth family! And I’m not trying to rip kids’ SOULs out over it!”

The dummy stared at them, furious and gobsmacked. “Well, bully for you, human. Maybe you are naturally better than monsters. But guess what?! I DON’T CARE! I just want to see my cousin again! And no moral-high-ground-holding human is going to stop me! If I can’t kill you with my magic, I’ll drown you!”

Frisk shrieked as the FIGHT around them flickered and the dummy lunged towards them. Before the dummy could knock them off their plank, though, they heard a familiar voice.

“Oh, my! Such drama! What is going on here, darlings?” The purple ghost from the RUINS drifted into the room at top speed, gazing at the stunned dummy with an offended expression.

“Nothing!” Elder Dummy protested.

“Oh, is that all. Because it seemed like you were attacking this darling young human!”

“I--”

“Oh, how the tables have turned! Surely the lands beyond the RUINS’ walls were meant to be a safe haven for humanity, and yet here we have this young cherub being attacked by a ghost! How frightful! I simply must adapt it for the stage!”

“But you’re a ghost as we--” The dummy paused, doing some mental calculations. “Are you Maddie’s son?”

“Ah! I see the limelight precedes me! As well it should! Indeed, it is I! Mettablook! Star of the stage, artist of script and book, author of drama!” He took a deep bow.

“Stars and angels preserve us, it’s really you!” The dummy fell, lifeless, onto the planks beside Frisk as a glowing green ghost rose out of the dummy and floated over to Mettablook. “I’m Maddie’s cousin! Oh, how lovely it is that you’ve finally come back to us! I haven’t even been able to bear the sight of our old homes by the snail farm since my Napstaton was very young, but surely you must want to visit where your mother once lived! I’ll make you a ghost pie immediately, you simply must visit me out by the bay once you’ve finished taking a look around!”

She floated off through the waterfall, still going on about how lovely it was that he’d visited. Frisk stared at him, and he stared at them.

“Er… this is rather awkward, since I have, er, been living here during the off-season in the RUINS for, er… fifteen years?”

Frisk did a double take. “How didn’t they know you were living here?”

“They stay at home a lot, dear old thing. I never wanted to go by, because I always heard her arguing on the phone with my dear mother. They’re both so dreadfully devoted to their ghastly political argument that neither of them will leave their houses for fear of missing a call from the other, but all they do is scream at each other! I should’ve known it was her when I heard her shouting, but I haven’t been home to mother in so long… my dysphoria, it simply doubles when I do, since she always asks if I’ve found a body yet. She means well, of course, but I simply mustn’t take on a body until darling Papyrus is finished with my own. It just won’t do at all! Say, sweetheart, I am dying to hear of your further exploits on the big stage. Why not come to my house? It’s just up this way, off the old snail farm, or rather, the new Blook Family Theater In The Park. I’ll just run ahead and tidy up, darling!” He rushed out, leaving Frisk stunned.

<<Guess we’ll do that, then!>>

Chapter Text

They continued into the tunnel they had seen before, clambering gratefully onto the dry dirt. After only a few feet, the tunnel opened up into a wide cave, with several offshoots guarded by tall, thin, pillars. They spotted a SAVE point and ran for it.

<<The power of the calming tranquility of this small town shines within you, soothing your SOUL. ❤️Determination/Magic? File Saved.>>

Frisk smiled and rushed over to the first offshoot. Peering down it curiously, they spotted a strange house. It was slate grey, with golden stained glass windows, and a set of targets outside. From behind the house, something was glowing with a hot light. It could only be Captain Alphys’--and that only made them more terrified of her. This was the house of a dark knight. What was the term Yi had used in that shop for her? Grey?

<<What does that mean?>>

<<It’s a reference to the Grey Guard,>> Heady said. <<It means she acts like an assassin.>>

<<Why not just ‘murderous’?>>

<<It’s more… sneaky and murderous. And ambitious. Scary.>> His voice frowned suddenly. <<If she was a Grey Guard, we’d be dead. So we probably shouldn’t worry about it.>>

<<That’s… not reassuring,>> Frisk thought. Still, they turned out of that passage and down the next one. There were two houses, each shaped like a ghost, and outside the one on the right glowed Mettablook.

“Darling, you came!”

Frisk nodded and waved one hand.

“Do come in, sweetheart, do come in! I’ve put on coffee, do you drink coffee?”

They rushed up to meet him at the door. “I haven’t tried it!”

The ghost floated through his door, then opened it from the other side. His house was rather empty--old pinkish carpet covered the floor, a fridge, instant coffee-maker and hot plate were shoved in one corner, and in another was a huge tower of cds and a beat-up old cd player. On one wall was a desk and computer, clearly the newest thing in the room, and the computer was playing some kind of science video with a robot in a laboratory. The ghost drifted over to the computer guiltily and switched around the cords near it, which made several strings of christmas lights begin to glow and the computer turn off. “I’m afraid I’m a bit of a nobody at the moment… er, you’re welcome to sit in my chair, if you’d like, darling, and I’ll, um, float.”

He pulled out the folding chair for them, and drifted over to the coffee maker. “How would like it? Black as night, hot as hell? Black and bitter as my soul? Dark as a starless night? Bitter as slavery, hot as the deserts? I’m afraid I’m out of creamer and sugar, but other than that you can have it however you’d like.”

Frisk frowned. “What kind of choices are there about it, then?”

“Er… I can put it in the pink cup, the purple one, or the broadway one.”

<<That’s. Not really a choice,>> Frisk thought.

<<Well, he doesn’t seem like he has much.>>

<<Fair.>> Frisk shrugged. “Broadway, I guess!”

Mettablook poured coffee into a chipped mug with a street sign that said “broadway” on it, and brought it over to them. They took a sip, and had to fight down a grimace. It was bitter and sour, and slightly salty, but they knew grownups liked it, and they desperately wanted to seem grown-up to the nice ghost who’d brought them back to his house. They forced a smile. “Yum!”

“I’m glad you like it! I’ve never really gotten into it myself, but it does keep you awake. And I do need all the time I have to practice.”

“What do you practice?”

“My singing, mostly. I do so dreadfully wish to be a Broadway star. Have you ever been to Broadway, human?”

Frisk scoffed. Broadway was for rich people! Not hostel kids, and not kids whose parents didn’t want them around. “Nah. I was in my school play once,” they mentioned offhandedly.

“Oh? Darling, what was it? Hamilton? Into the Woods? Wicked? Rent? Les Mis? The Book of Mormon?”

Frisk winced. “Fiddler on the Roof.”

“Ah, such a classic! Mmm, ‘If I Were A Rich Man’. Wouldn’t you just love to play Tevye?” Mettablook pulled out a CD from the bottom of the stack, knocking it over, singing under his breath as he fiddled with the CD player. “If I were a rich man/Ya di diddi diddi diddi ya di diddi diddi dum…/All day long I'd biddi biddi bum/If I were a wealthy man!”

Frisk grinned sheepishly. “I couldn’t sing, so they made me play a tree. I could never play Tevye…”

Mettablook paused and turned to them with a dismissive gesture. “Ah, that’s quitting talk! Listen to me, darling. If I can play every role on my stage without a body of my own, you can play a silent Tevye!”

Frisk blushed. “You think so?”

“You can play anything, darling! Come, tell me, someone like you must have a dream role. Is it Tevye? Who is it?”

“Anne Sullivan, I guess. I could play with the National Theater of the Deaf.”

“Ahh, go bigger, darling! Elphaba, from Wicked! Simba, from the Lion King! George Washington, from Hamilton! Mark Cohen, from Rent! Every figure of human mythology, at your feet. I’ve seen you act, darling. You’re stupendous! Why, the way you flirted onstage with a stranger, just because it was what the part called for-- magnifique, as they would say in Les Mis! One would almost believe it was real!”

Frisk laughed nervously. “Moses, in Prince of Egypt?”

“Precisely! Say, could you sign me a song? Something you know, if I put it on? Something from Fiddler, perhaps? Or any show--the world’s your stage, darling!”

Frisk blushed. “L’chaim?”

“Ah, what a choice! Sign for me, angel of music!” Mettablook pressed some buttons, and the CD whirred to life.

Frisk’s hands came to life as well, moving fluidly between the Hebrew and English signs. They put all their emotion into the song--their memories of the hostel, toasting with a plastic cup of grape juice, everything they’d learned about the shtetl for the play, their own thoughts of an uncertain future risking their SOUL against a magical barrier. When the Russians came in, Mettablook joined in, singing their part, and Frisk got up and did the dance they’d seen their friends do in the play, coming back in gracefully with their signs when the time came. When the song finally ended, Mettablook clicked off the CD player with a huge smile, tears in his eyes.

“Fantastic! Lovely! Marvelous! Why, you were born for the stage, darling. I won’t keep you any longer, I know you are in most dreadful danger on your journey to the queen, but you are welcome on my stage any time! In fact, I beg you to return if you are able. Together, we could make the Underground thrive like a ray of sunlight!” He opened up the door for them with a smile. “But I could not dream of detaining you while you remain in danger, darling. The world is your stage. Reach skyward! And one day, we will perform together again.”

Frisk looked at him with surprise and a little fear as they started to leave. “You’re not going to--”

Mettablook cut them off, preempting their question. “Darling, you’re twelve. Whatever gave you the idea that I would want anything more from you than to give you the audience you so dearly deserve while you undertake this treacherous journey?”

<<Frisk? What’s he talking about?>>

“You were flirting with me, I--”

The ghost looked horrified. “Perish the thought! Darling, I would sooner pluck out my eyes than do that to a child. Please, think of my affection as the suave affectations of an actor’s persona. As a human might say, youth, of course, must have its fling--so pardon me. And even at that, I find myself honor-bound to cease, if I have truly caused you to believe you were in danger--it seems we spirits have offended.”

Frisk shifted their grip on their stick uncertainly. <<What’s he saying?>>

<<I think he’s telling you that he didn’t mean anything by flirting, and you shouldn’t be worried that he’s gonna keep you here to flirt with, and he’s really sorry if you thought he did. Frisk, were you really worried about that? He’s a grown-up, after all.>>

<<Grown-ups…>> Frisk shook their head slightly. “Um, alright! I’lll, um… see you, then.” They rushed out the door.

<<Frisk, grown-ups don’t do that to children.>>

<<Sometimes they do. Or they do more.>>

Heady frowned. <<Well, monster grown-ups don’t.>>

They flopped on the ground, sitting crosslegged. <<I thought he would.>>

<<I think he didn’t realize that you had taken what he said seriously.>>

They frowned. <<Is he mad at me for thinking he’d do that?>>

<<Why would he be?>>

Frisk shrugged. All their energy had left them now that they weren’t scared anymore.

<<Come on, let’s go a little ways further, okay? Maybe we can find somewhere you can rest.>>

They nodded, and got to their feet.

Chapter Text

Another archway lead to an empty stage, and a fourth onwards into a long tunnel. They began to walk down the tunnel, but only a few feet into it noticed another tunnel running perpendicular, impossible to see from the outside, and ducked down it to the left. After a short way, the tunnel opened again into a cave the size of a small house. Along the walls of the cave were shelves with a wide variety of wares on them, and sitting at the counter was a large, soft-looking monster that looked like a stuffed-animal cat, right down to having one button eye and several stitches in gold fabric.

“Hee hee… Welcome, traveller.”

Frisk waved shyly.

“Take your time… I’m sure the captain isn’t on her way through. And he just came and went, for all that’s worth.”

Frisk took a look through the shelves and brought Seam a glass bottle of something called “Sea Tea”. The shopkeep took a look at it and then held out a paw.

“18 G.”

Frisk handed over the money and the cat nodded, putting it away in a little box on the counter.

“Thanks for that.”

They smiled at the shopkeeper. “What’s your name?”

“The name’s Seam. Pronounced Shawm. And this is my little ‘seap’.” Seam chuckled. “I started out collecting odds and ended up with the job of supporting just about anyone in Waterfall who doesn’t live in the bay town. Ain’t life funny like that.”

They pointed curiously to the winged rune they’d seen in so many different places, the one Heady called the “delta rune”. “Could you tell me what that symbol is?”

“The original meaning behind that thing is long gone… but the triangles symbolize the monsters underground, so the winged circle symbolizes… something else. And the whole thing, we call that the Delta Rune. The symbol of the kingdom of monsters.” Seam laughed subtly. Frisk was not quite sure why it was funny.

“Does the circle mean anything?”

“For centuries, monsters have believed that something’s coming to save us. An angel… from an old legend. Some say it’s a prophecy. Regardless of whether you believe it or not, you’ll never be rid of hearing it.”

“A prophecy?” Frisk signed. “That’s so cool!”

“I don’t know much about it myself, but supposedly, an angel will come down, and free everyone. Whether it frees us by bringing us up above, or killing the lot of us to ‘free’ us from this mortal realm, I don’t know. You’d have to ask… well… I suppose he’s gone for long enough that he probably won’t be back. Never mind.” Seam chuckled ruefully.

Frisk frowned. “You mentioned you knew the captain?”

“As much as anyone but the queen does. Or that skeleton kid. I’m sure that a certain someone would love to see me arrested and strung up, but Captain Alphys is… thorough. She won’t let you get hauled in for something you didn’t do, but once she’s sure you’ve done it…” another chuckle escaped the old cat at this, but it was a mirthless laugh. “You got just enough time to pray to some angel before she gets one of those crossbow bolts in your head. They say her LV is so high, the only thing she thinks about is death.” The shopkeeper shivered. “Makes me wonder why Queen Soft-n-Fuzzy likes her so much. Maybe because she does such a damn good job.”

Frisk frowned, not sure they heard correctly. “Queen what?”

“Why do I call TORIEL Soft-n-Fuzzy? Heh… it doesn’t really matter, does it? I tell you what. If you make it all the way to her and back to me without Lord Dastard getting ya, I’ll see if I can dredge up the memory for you.” Again Seam chuckled about something that didn’t seem funny. It was beginning to scare Frisk. They thanked Seam and left before  something even less humorous could come from the shopkeep's stitched mouth.

<<That cat's weird,>> Frisk decided, checking out the other end of the tunnel, which seemed to be a big empty cave with a river at the back.

<<Maybe it's just because Seam's really old.>>

<<It’s not just that. I don’t mind old people more than any other grownup.>> They shook their head. <<Seam's creepy.>>

<<Might be old enough to have seen the surface.>>

<<Huh. How old is that?>>

<<Millennia.>>

Frisk did a double take. <<Wait, millennia?>>

Heady nodded. <<There’s more signs up ahead I think. It’ll help me tell you the story.>>

They ran their fingers over the signs as he spoke. <<Hurt, beaten, and fearful for our lives, we surrendered to the humans. Seven of their greatest magicians sealed us underground with a magic spell.>>

<<You’re right, it must’ve been millennia ago. The last magic tradition died out way before I was born, I think. It was kind of a special interest once. There was a story about a demon kid in this old book, and it was super scary but really cool and I ended up learning, like, everything about SOUL magic and stuff.>>

<<...>> Heady frowned. <<Anything can enter through the seal, but only beings with a powerful SOUL can leave. There is only one way to reverse this spell. If a huge power, equivalent to seven human SOULs, attacks the barrier, it will be destroyed.>>

<<Heady?>>

<<...>>

<<How old are you?>>

<<Fifteen.>>

Frisk frowned. <<But you said you’d seen the stars, right?>>

<<Yeah.>>

<<And you’re a monster?>>

<<Yeah.>>

<<How’d you do it?>>

Heady shrugged. <<Doesn’t matter.>>

Frisk frowned. <<Are you okay?>>

<<It’s tough being dead.>> Heady said. <<That’s all.>>

He kept reading. <<But this cursed place has no entrances or exits. There is no way a human could come here.>>

<<But that isn’t true! All those graves in the RUINs prove that people keep falling!>>

Heady nodded. <<These are old runes. From before the first human fell.>>

<<Did the Undertaker kill them? Wait, why would Asgore kill humans but bury their SOULs? Doesn’t he want to break the barrier?>>

<<I don’t know. I guess… I guess he just didn’t want to go to war with the humans again.>>

<<Wait, war?>>

<<Yeah.>> Heady said. <<We’d have to fight to get a place on the surface. That’s what--that’s what the first human said.>>

<<Oh.>> Frisk kept walking, deep in thought. They continued out into a dark room along a thin raised dirt path edged by little bioluminescent mushrooms. It ended abruptly in darkness with a mushroom the size of them. They poked the mushroom curiously.

<<You have to light the sigil. Here, let me.>> Frisk felt their magic rise up like when Heady made a projection, and suddenly a strange symbol glowed in the flesh of the mushroom.

Frisk gasped--another section of path was lit up. They rushed down it to the next mushroom, then the next--then they hit a dead end. Except--they found a patch of dry dirt with their stick, nearly invisible in the dark. They jumped onto it, careful of their weak leg, and used their stick to feel their way to a crack in the wall of the cave. They squeezed their way through, and--!

The world around them was suddenly loud and bright--they saw strand after strand of tangled christmas lights, lighting up a huge room. It was full of creatures like the one that had terrorized them just outside Snowdin, the one called “temmie”. One bounced up to them, with more close behind it.

“hOI!! i’M tEMMIE! weLCuM TO hoME of tEMMIE gUarDSMAN!”

Frisk waved quietly, overwhelmed.

“hOI! i’M tEMMIE!”

“meET mY FrOND, TeMMIE!!”

“cOmE teMSHOP wIT ME”

“coME OTOGRAF! bAPy TEmMIE!” A temmie pulled them over by the wrist to a stack of pillows, on top of which was an egg. It released them (welts raised immediately on their wrist) and handed them a sharpie and the egg. They signed the egg nervously. It felt… hard boiled.

“teM HEeRz! yOU! Ver ver!! gud SONGER!”

Frisk laughed nervously and signed, “That’s Shyren, actually.”

“YAyA! TemmEH! dey iZ! danCER!”

They blushed. It was nice to be admired, even by the overwhelming temmies. They took a look around, briefly ignoring the clamor. There were two statues: one of a regular temmie labeled TEM, and another, of the tem in armor they’d met before, labeled GARD. There was a huge chalk mural of tems and dragons and strange looking letters, which was actually kind of pretty. There was a SAVE point, right next to them, and they grabbed it thankfully.

<<The power of detemmination shines within you. ❤️Determination/Magic? File Saved.>>

<<Detemmination???>>

Heady giggled. They were glad he was feeling happy enough to make a joke now.

Chapter Text

They let themself be herded into another cave to “sEE tEMSHoP! andBOb!” Right away, they felt less overwhelmed. A soft piano song was playing from an unseen source, and there was a neat counter with several boxes behind glass. At the counter sat another temmie.

“Hi. I’m Bob.” The temmie’s voice was low, soft, and kind.

“I’m Frisk.”

“It’s nice to meet you. Can I help you?”

Frisk smiled. “Your shop is so quiet.”

“I wasn’t dyed. I’ll always be a very strange tem… I bought this shop when my sister went to join the guard. I needed to make a place of peace and quiet.”

“Dyed?”

“All tems hatch from eggs left in a magical fire. When the egg is hard-boiled, it will be dyed with inks which determine its personality. I am a rarity… a tem that hatched undyed. There is quite little of the temmie about me.”

“So you bought this shop?”

“Yes. I’m afraid there is probably precious little here for you… I am a simple grocer. I create and sell temmie flakes, the food the others prefer. It isn’t much, but I hope to send my child to college…” He reached beneath the counter and brought out a plain white egg. “I will be proud whether she is dyed or undyed. I plan to allow fate to decide.”

Frisk peered at a box on top of the counter. “What’s that?”

“Her college fund. The queen’s college is free, of course, but she will need a translator of some sort if she intends to speak our dialect. It is considered… uncouth.”

They checked their pockets. “How much will she need?”

“A thousand G. Do not worry yourself over it…”

They shook their head and dropped in fifty G. “Good luck, Bob!”

“Thank you, from the bottom of my heart. Good luck on your travels, human.”

<<That was nice.>>

Frisk smiled. <<It’s a lovely shop.>> Steeling themself, they plunged back out into the temmie village. To their surprise, most of the temmies had lost interest and wandered off to make a huge cuddle puddle.

<<Awww…>> Frisk spotted the dimensional box by one wall and walked over. Their things were still in it, so they deposited the hot chocolate thermos from the shop in Snowdin Town, and something called Cat Residue. They then quietly picked their way back out through the crack in the cave wall and back to the dirt embankment, then back onto the mushroom-lit path. They picked their way back until they found a mushroom they’d missed, and let Heady light it. They made it around a rock wall, and into the adjoining cave, before the darkness grew so deep that the mushrooms no longer cut through it.

<<What do we do?>>

<<I can try-->> Heady seemed exhausted already, but they felt their body muster more magic and-- <<Aha!>>

Crystals throughout the cave flared to bloodred light.

Frisk could hear Heady panting, so they bolted forwards--only to trip over a temmie and fall, their shins erupting in itchy welts as darkness abruptly crashed back.

<<Heady?!>>

<<...>>

The temmie gabbled happily at them. “SpEshul eneMEH tEMmie appEars to deFEET U!! LiEK gUARDSTeM!”

Frisk held their stick defensively in front of them and flexed their free arm, though they knew the temmie likely could not see it. Painstakingly they projected, “I’m not scared of you!”

She recoiled instantly. “NO!!!!! muscles r... NOT CUTE!”

A huge splash erupted from the water as Aaron returned, making Frisk scramble back. “Ooh, I have to disagree!” he said with a wink.

The temmie fled with a comical “NOO!!!!!” and left them alone with Aaron. Frisk tried to flee along the embankment, but they were trapped in the fight.

Furrowing their brow, they remembered what had made Aaron disappear the first time, and carefully projected a challenge to a flexing contest in glowing red text. Aaron peered at the text, then stepped back to do his first flex--and fell straight into the deep water.

<<Heady, are you alright?>>

They heard only a grunt from him, but their magic responded to his spell again and the room lit up. They kept going as fast as they could down the maze of paths, and they had almost reached a room with sun-stones lighting it when they ran face first into two moldsmals and fell onto the dirty floor.

They knew from their time in the RUINs that moldsmals hardly ever started FIGHTs because they meant to, and could always be spared right away, so they signed to them to spare them--and got a surprise. One of the moldsmals squelched away, but the other remained still and immobile in the FIGHT. Eight bullets began to converge on their SOUL, and they yelped and dragged it away, only for it to be targeted by another set.

Heady seemed barely able to speak. <<can… lie down… with it…>>

<<If you think you can do it. Don’t--don’t push yourself too hard!>>

<<’m not a crybaby,>> he grunted, and the projection lay on the ground next to the moldsmal.

Suddenly, it reared up, becoming a towering column of slime. Frisk screamed. From the bottom of the bullet board, miniature pillars of slime followed its gyrating motion, blowing bubbles at their SOUL. They ducked and weaved between them.

<<too… close… I’m sorry… have to…>> Heady gasped, making a weak, flickering, projection that stepped away from the monster, opening its arms. As they dodged its bullets, they saw that its name had appeared in yellow-- Moldbygg .

They staggered through into the lighter room, only for darkness to suddenly fall. They glimpsed a gently glowing echo flower in the distance and rushed towards it, water leaking into the plastic bags in their shoes as they went. They hit dry land again only a few feet away from the flower and crawled over to it, heaving a sigh of relief. The flower sat silent for a few seconds, then spoke with a low, menacing, voice.

“Behind you…”

Frisk whirled, raising their stick to defend themself, as the darkness disappeared from the cavern, leaving a figure limned in grey light. Standing in front of them was Captain Alphys, all dark-grey spiked armor save for a single golden light covering where Frisk assumed her eyes were. On one wrist glowed a blue arrow, barely illuminating something on the slate grey plate that looked almost like raised buttons.

“Four. Thousand. Years.” Her voice was cold, bitter and resolute. “Four thousand years of imprisonment. But now, with your SOUL, my people will finally see the sun again. With the power of seven human SOULs, our queen… Queen Toriel ESPAR… will shatter the barrier. My duty will be fulfilled. Can’t you see? This is the only chance for decades. So please… give up your SOUL. Or… or I’ll have to take it from you by force.”

Frisk panicked, dropping their stick as their hands flew through the air, begging for their life.

In the dim light, the sound of a crossbow string being cranked back filled the cavern. Heady was silent. Frisk shook like a leaf as the Captain leveled her crossbow at them, a golden glowing arrow appearing menacingly on the string.

Running footsteps broke the noise. “Hey, Captain Alphys, Captain Alphys! Show me too!” Susie came bursting out of a nearby patch of seagrass, strands of it clinging to her beanie, one shoelace untied. “Yo, that’s so cool. She was showing you how it worked? Metal. Uh, you wouldn’t mind if I watched too, right--”

The Captain grumbled something too quietly for Frisk to make out.

“Hey, you can’t take me back to that foster home! I’ll run away again, I’m telling you--” The Captain laid a hand on her arm and began walking her out of the room.

Spent, Frisk grabbed their stick, dug their way into the patch of seagrass, lay down on the soft dirt, stripped off their wet shoes, and started to cry, quietly, in fear and pain and exhaustion. Before they knew it, they had fallen asleep.

Chapter Text

Far too tired to dream, they awakened from a peaceful sleep with a streak of mud on their cheek and Heady’s voice in their head again, sounding refreshed.

<<I’m sorry about earlier, Frisk. I wish I could’ve powered through.>>

Frisk shook their head as they stretched, reaching for their stick. <<It’s not a problem, really. Waterfall has been kind of rough to us both.>>

<<...yeah.>>

<<We should keep going. I don’t know where Captain Alphys and Susie went, but we probably wasted our window to escape her.>>

Heady nodded.

Frisk got to their feet, re-tying the plastic bags in their shoes so that at least most of the holes were out of the way. They set off away from the echo flower, and noticed a passage they had missed earlier, in the dark. They turned down it, fighting the slow current of the water as they went. Echo flowers chattered to each other along the edges of the room.

“If--if I say my wish, do you promise--d’you promise you won’t laugh at me?” This voice was high and tremulous, clearly scared of something.

Susie’s unmistakable low, rough, voice responded. “No way!”

“One day… I want to climb the mountain. This one, that we’re buried under. To stand under the sky with you, and look at the world all around… that’s--that’s my wish.”

A low chuckle rang from the next echo flower.

“Hey!”

“Nah… I’m sorry, it’s just funny. That’s actually my wish, too.”

Frisk was about to ask Heady about the runes on the wall ahead of them when they saw a flash of golden motion in their peripheral vision.

They rushed towards it, not knowing why, but when they reached it, it was gone, with no sign of what it was save a strange scar in the muddy ground. They leaned down to get a closer look, when an echo flower spoke. “I miss my little ones so much…” Asgore’s voice said clearly, sending a shiver down their spine. “It feels as if my very SOUL will shatter just from wishing I could still take care of them…”

A creepy laugh cut through it, drowning it out. “That is not true. If he had cared so much for you, why did he allow you to leave him as soon as he found you? You are alone…”

Frisk recoiled as if they’d been struck. <<Who would say that?>>

<<It must’ve been Belladonna, but…>>

<<How did Asgore’s voice get all the way out here, though? How old is that voice?>>

<<...>> Heady fell silent for a long while. <<Let’s keep going.>>

He read the runes with deep misgiving in his voice. <<However… there is a prophecy. The Angel… The One Who Has Seen The Surface… they will return. And the Underground will go empty.>>

Frisk ran their hand over the runes and shivered, then quickly walked onwards. The tunnel lead out onto a thin bridge over a high drop, and Frisk walked carefully across it, thinking of the Bad Time that Sans had constructed for them and wondering what Captain Alphys would have prepared for the end of this one. Before they were even halfway across, they heard footsteps behind them, and froze.

“Hey.”

They turned towards the familiar voice. “Hi, Susie!”

“Are you… a human?”

Frisk gulped. “Yes…”

“Great. Then Captain Alphys was talking about you, huh. When she said ‘Stay away from that human.’ So I guess we’re not friends anymore. Since I should really take your SOUL, and hand it to the guard so I can have a place.”

Frisk blanched. “Why? I thought we were friends! I don’t want to have to fight you, I--”

Susie sighed. “I tell you what. Let’s have a contest. If I win, you lie down and let me take your SOUL. If you win, I’ll be on your team, and we’ll be friends forever, no matter what Captain Alphys says.”

Frisk nodded tentatively.

“We’ll have… a scaring contest. I’ll go first. If you run away, you lose.”

Frisk nodded again, and Susie crossed the space between them in a second.

“Now how do you feel… about getting your face eaten off? I hear humans are full of blood… I bet it’ll be really fun.” She grabbed them by their lapel and lifted them, her claws digging into their flesh, forcing them to look her in her luminous yellow eyes. She licked her lips and grinned, revealing razor sharp teeth, then opened her mouth wide so they could see the full extent of her toothy muzzle. She lifted them closer to her mouth, and they closed their eyes, fearing this was just a trick to get them to go down without a fight, then--

“Nah, you still have to take your turn. It’d be a shame to kill you before I even showed you how tough I was.” She dropped them unceremoniously onto the bridge. “Your turn.”

<<Oh no, what do we do-->>

<<Let me take control! I’m really good at being scary!>>

<<Okay!>>

Frisk suddenly went numb. Even their lingering fear of Susie felt detached. They watched like an outsider through their eyes as Heady collected themself, brushed dust off their hoodie, and flexed their fingers.

Heady cleared their throat, and they felt a thrill running through them. “H e e h e e h e e.” His laugh was high, clear, and cold as ice, and it sounded strange in their throat. “Did you really think… you could scare me? You really are an idiot. And you’re hopeless! Hopeless and alone. Golly, that’s right. Your worthless friend… can’t save you now!” Their body surged forward, brandishing its stick, and Susie scrambled back. “Call for help. I dare you. Cry into the darkness. ‘Oh, Captain Alphys, somebody, help me!’ See what good it does you. Hee hee hee… Nobody’s going to come. So nobody else… is gonna get to see you die! --”

Susie shook, staring at them, wide-eyed. “You win, you win, stop it, let me go, stop talking, please-- ” She turned. “I won’t hurt you, I promise, just let me go--”

Frisk fell back into their own body with a start just as Susie began to flee. As if in slow motion, they saw Susie trip on her shoelace, yell out, and tumble off the edge of the bridge, just barely catching it with one hand. “Help!” she gasped. “I--I’m slipping, help--”

Loud, armored, footsteps announced the arrival of Captain Alphys, her crossbow out and trained on them but her visor turned towards Susie in horror.

Heady's voice was silent.

Frisk dropped their stick on the bridge and limped quickly over to Susie, grabbing her hand in both of theirs.

“You--?”

Frisk tried to make their face say everything their full hands couldn’t-- it wasn’t me, I’m sorry, I never meant to hurt you, I didn’t realize it would be that much --as they hauled Susie to safety on the bridge.

Captain Alphys, face inscrutable behind her helmet, looked back to them.

“Hey.” Susie stepped in front of Frisk. “If you wanna hurt my friend… well. Heh.” She held out a hand and a blazing red axe appeared it. “You’re gonna have to get through me first.”

The tip of the crossbow dropped, and then her luminous gaze. Then, in a clatter of armor, Captain Alphys rushed away.

“Look. I dunno why you’d do that, but… you really saved my ass. Thanks. I guess. I--I’m gonna go… somewhere else now.”

Frisk shook their head hurriedly. “No! I promise I didn’t mean any of the stuff I said. I don’t think you’re hopeless, or-- or stupid, and I don’t want you to be alone, and--”

Susie considered this. “If you can say that … why don’t you talk now?”

Frisk thought of one of their friends, suddenly, and had the perfect lie. “It’s a script. I made it up in case I had to scare someone off. I can talk with scripts, I just can’t talk regular--”

“It’s an awful script. Why the hell would you want to be able to say that to someone?”

Frisk frowned. “Why would you want to be able to hurt or kill someone with an axe?”

“Oh.” Susie stared at them appraisingly. “Huh. I… I dunno if I thought of that. Look. Gimme some time to think about you, okay? You really got me with that stuff.”

“Of course,” Frisk signed, their heart plummeting.

“But, uh… if you need a friend, I usually crash at the Hotlands youth hostel. A lot nicer than the seagrass patch to get some sleep. If you don’t end up at the Queen’s place, heh.”

She left the way Captain Alphys had gone, leaving Frisk alone with their thoughts.

<<Why did you do that to her?>>

Heady’s voice burst into tears at once. <<I don’t know, I don’t know, what’s wrong with me, I scared myself too, I just wanted to be as scary as--as, as scary--I wanted to be as-->>

Frisk reeled with the sudden feeling of Heady’s regret and fear of himself. <<Whoever it was, it sounds like they really left a mark on you. Did someone say this kind of thing to you?>>

<<N-not to me, b-b-but I a-asked them how t-to be scary, a-a-and they said it’s t-things like this, b-but I never r-realized how awful it w-would be to f-feel like that until I s-saw her g-get so scared, and I know I w-was defending you b-but I think I went too far and I d-don’t know how t-to make it b-better and-->>

Frisk hushed him. <<It’s alright, and I think she gets that I didn’t mean to hurt her. But… please don’t do that, ever again. It’s not worth it.>>

<<I won’t, I promise-->>

<<Let’s just go. We must be close to where this “Doc” lives, right?>>

They picked up their stick and continued with a heavy heart.

Chapter Text

The cave around them opened up suddenly to a cavern so wide they could see, around a twenty-foot-high tunnel bored in a huge crag, the skyscrapers and smokestacks of a huge city, bathed in a hot red glow. They rushed towards the tunnel eagerly when a thundercrack split the air like a knife.

“Seven.” The voice that carried down to them must’ve been Captain Alphys’, but it was magnified so loud it hurt Frisk’s ears. They looked up in terror--there she was, a grey spiked boulder atop the cliff glaring at them through a golden visor. She touched the side of her visor, and the magnification of her voice lowered slightly. “Seven human SOULs. And our queen has collected six. With your final SOUL, my people will go to the surface in peace. So. This is where you die. But I… I should tell you why.”

She stalked a short way down the cliff. An awful silence spread itself through the air.

“No. You know what? It doesn’t matter! What was I thinking?” A stutter edged its way into her shout. “I-I’d tell you my tragic reason for k-killing a kid, and y-you’d rip out your SOUL and h-h-hand it to me? I can’t ask you to understand m-my hopes and dreams! I-I’m only drawing this out. The only m-merciful thing to do is kill you now! Everyone’s i-in d-danger while you live, too! E-even if you did s-save Susie… I c-c-can’t trust you to go any further! I c-can’t put anyone else in danger! I-it’s time I s-stepped up, and kept e-everyone safe! Get ready, human! I’m going to free monsterkind!”

Fear flared in Frisk’s chest. They turned, trying to run away, when a spark caught their eye. A SAVE point. They reached out to it.

<<Thunder is rolling… a power shines within you. ❤️Determination/Magic? File Saved.>>

They touched it again, and Heady repeated the ominous warning. <<Thunder is rolling… a power shines within you. Determination/❤️Magic? AT up until next SAVE!>> Heady pouted. <<Oh no! We got a useless one!>>

Frisk forced a confident smile. <<Well, at least we’re no worse off than we were before…>>

<<I guess…>>

They planted their stick and burst towards the tunnel, hoping to get under cover, but a flash of yellow streaked across their vision and scorched the ground at their feet, and the world around them went black and white.

<<CAPTAIN ALPHYS attacks!>>

Frisk went to move their SOUL to the ACT button, but it was stuck on the bullet board. A golden bolt blossomed in the center of their vision suddenly, and the SOUL in front of them flashed--and turned a brilliant yellow, a little golden crossbow bursting into existence beside it as the projectile faded.

“Now we’re even, human.”

When the bullet board released them, they picked up the crossbow in one hand, and their SOUL in the other, and moved their SOUL onto the ACT button. <<Check her?>>

<<Captain Alphys, AT 20 DF 50. Her SOUL trait is bravery, and her kill count is… I think the only person I’ve seen with this high kill count is the Undertaker… The heroine of truth and justice,>> he said thoughtfully.

“You can’t just dodge away from me now,” she warned, and a rain of bolts showered from her crossbow, falling as if in slow motion towards their SOUL. Frisk could feel Heady concentrating, and as the bolts dropped, they saw a flash of red on the bullet board and yanked their SOUL away as the magic bullet flew through and was gone. More red bloomed on the board, and they twisted and dodged desperately, clutching their SOUL, but as hard as they tried they couldn’t get out of the way of them all in time.

<<14/20 HP,>> Heady warned them.

<<Are there ACTs we can do?>>

He thought about it for a second. <<Hm… we can threaten her, or argue.>>

<<Argue.>>

The projection that formed this time wasn’t red, but golden yellow, and tears streaked its face. “I’m just a kid, please--”

They saw something flicker in Alphys’ far-off eyes. “I t-told you you couldn’t d-dodge. A-aren’t you going to even t-try to s-shoot down some of the bolts?”

Frisk looked dubiously at the golden hand crossbow they were holding. They pointed it at the first bolt of the volley, but missed, and was only barely able to drag their SOUL out of the way of most of the bolts. They moved their SOUL to the ITEM button in a panic, pulled out the Sea Tea, and chugged it down.

<<Speed up!>>

The captain sighed. “I know you can s-see where they’re g-going to hit. G-go under the bolts, a-and fire up.”

Now that it had been pointed out to Frisk, it seemed painfully obvious. When Heady threw up the first warning, they pulled their crossbow and SOUL into the flashing zone and loosed a golden bolt of energy from the crossbow. It flew up, hit the descending bolt, and tore threw it before dissipating. They destroyed the others and stood panting for breath, unable to believe she’d just given them the answer to dodging her attacks.

When they could, they tried to spare her, but they weren’t surprised that she wouldn’t allow them to.

“I’m not going to hold back on you, you know.” Alphys fired a faster volley of bolts, forcing Frisk to aim and fire faster to keep up.

They signed “Spare,” at her again, more emphatically.

“With your SOUL, m-my people can go back t-to the surface.”

They ducked and wove to get into place to shoot down the bolts as Heady warned them of their trajectories. When they could move their SOUL to the buttons, they tried again to argue with her.

“I’m sure there’s another way, please--”

“A-all I want is t-to set them free.”

Frisk dodged frantically under the bolts to shoot each down. “And you’d kill a child just to get it?”

“It’s w-w-worth anything to me. A-any price.” Her helmet betrayed no emotion, though her voice shook slightly.

“Why? The surface isn’t that nice, it’s--” She cut them off again, making no sign that she’d seen the projection.

“For Sans. For Queen ESPAR. For Susie and the other kids. F-For her …”

Her voice shook, and the spell holding their SOUL flickered. Then all at once the golden crossbow disappeared, and their SOUL flared up bright red.

<<Frisk, we can run away-->>

Frisk wrenched their SOUL over to the mercy button and ran, their SOUL fading back into their body as Heady cheered.

<<Run, Frisk, run!>>

Their stick and feet slapped on the stone as they ducked into the tunnel, hearing the clatter of Alphys’ armor behind them as she descended from her vantage point. They had crossed through the tunnel onto a bridge over a river in which floated huge ice cubes when something hit them, knocking them onto their knees but doing no other damage than making their SOUL shine yellow again, the crossbow reappearing in their free hand.

“S-stop that! You can’t run all the way to the Queen!”

Frisk raised their chin as they told Heady to argue with her again. “Who says I can’t?”

“E-even if you were fast enough to g-get away from me, you’d d-d-die in Hotlands for sure!”

Frisk ripped open their monster candy and ate it in one bite, heart racing.

“I won’t let you put a-anyone else in danger!”

Frisk frowned. “How are they in danger if I die?”

Captain Alphys didn’t even seem to notice the projection. “And if it m-means I have to d-die, then s-so be it!”

Her spell started to waver again, and Frisk took their chance when their SOUL turned red again. <<Go go go!!!>>

They dashed, zigzagging back and forth to dodge the bolts whizzing around their ears as they went. The bridge led into another tunnel, and they hooked a quick right turn, certain that this would keep them safe from Captain Alphys for at least a few seconds. Just as they had time to formulate this thought, however, a bolt struck them straight in the SOUL, and they stumbled as the world went black-and-white around them again, the golden crossbow back in their hand. With a clatter, Alphys emerged from the shadows, the blue arrow that had once been on her wrist now completely dark.

“S-s-stop that! Stop r-r-running right n-now!”

Frisk stared wide-eyed at her. They saw something strange in her eyes, and the tip of her crossbow was shaking so hard they wondered if she could even shoot them. They moved their glowing yellow SOUL to the ACT button and plotted quickly with Heady what they should say.

“I’ll stop running away if you’ll listen and stop trying to kill me!”

“D-don’t you understand?” Frisk shot down two more bolts and moved their SOUL to dodge a third as she breathed hard. “This is the o-only way!”

“I promise it’s not!”

The captain laughed acerbically. “I’d heard humans were d-determined…”

Frisk nodded, trying again to spare her, although they were sure she would deny them.

“I g-guess you won’t g-go down a-as easy as I thought!”

She loosed five bolts at once, hitting Frisk square on as they tried to dodge. “B-but! Who I’m f-fighting for gives me the d-determination to stop you right now!”

“I’d stop if you’d just let me!” Frisk folded their arms. “I don’t want to hurt anyone!”

“If I l-let you live, everyone’s in danger!”

“WHY?!” Frisk demanded. “I’m not hurting anybody, please--”

“T-the punishment for hurting one of you is d-d-death,” Alphys shouted, attacking with more ferocity than ever.

“Then why are you trying to kill me?”

Alphys glared at them as she sighted and shot still more bolts at them. “I’m the o-only one who I can bear s-sacrificing their life t-to bring monsterkind to the surface!”

Frisk felt like they’d been punched in the gut. “You don’t have to die!”

“S-someone has to.” Alphys shot three bolts in quick succession, and Frisk dodged all of them.  “And I-I’m going to d-do it! So n-n-no one else will!”

Heady barely managed to make the golden projection flicker into existence before Alphys shot at them again. “S-stop trying t-t-to change my m-mind!”

Frisk stared defiantly into her visor and tried to spare her again.

“G-give up a-a-and let me t-take your SOUL!!!”

She shot more bolts at them. One cut into the edge of their SOUL, and they cried out in pain. Suddenly, the spell keeping their SOUL yellow flickered and dropped. Immediately they bolted, with a cry from Heady--<<Keep going!!!>>

Chapter Text

Their phone rang, and they pulled it out with their free hand. Sans. They stopped running, unable to use their stick, hold the phone, and talk to Sans. Behind them, the clatter of Captain Alphys’ armor seemed to have ceased.

“hey. if you ain’t busy, babybones, i had an idea. maybe i could smooth things over with alph, get you a place to stay. paps says you haven’t made it to hotlands yet, and i was worried about ya. uh.” He seemed to notice their surroundings for the first time. “is now not a good time? i’ll call ya back, ok? or meet me by the park, near her house. i can give ya directions if you call me back. take care.”

Then the call ended and Sans was gone. They shoved their phone back into their inventory and ran, Captain Alphys close on their heels, closing in, too close--

The FIGHT started back up again and they shouted in rage.

“NO! S-STOP RUNNING! STOP IT!”

Frisk went to argue with her again, noticed they could still run, tensed, and did so. Heady’s cheering echoed in their mind as they burst out of the tunnel and into open space. Cracks in the floor, full of lava, heated the air to almost an unbearable temperature. They spotted a sentry station, and asleep inside it, Papyrus.

They rushed to him and shook him. His eyes lit up instantly. “HUMAN!!” He waved to them cheerfully--and disappeared completely.

<<What?!>>

The Captain was upon them again. They threw up a hand to stop an attack, but froze when they saw, through her visor, the anguish on her face.

“Stop! Please! I’ll l-listen to you, just p-p-please stop running that way!”

Frisk stared at her. “What’s wrong?” they signed.

“P-please, please, d-d-don’t keep going, please!”

“Are you… is there someone there? Someone you think I’ll hurt?”

Alphys’ wide eyes darted around furtively. “You can’t keep going,” she panted. “D-d-doctor Undyne w-will, she’ll, she’ll k-kill you!”

This was not what they’d expected at all. “Kill me? But--”

“And t-then I’ll h-h-have to kill her, a-and I c-can’t!”

“Are you… scared of her?”

She shook her head. “I c-can’t let her die! I could n-never g-go to the s-s-surface like n-nothing happened a-after that! That’s w-why I have to kill you!”

Frisk frowned. “Maybe she feels the same way about you?”

“N-never! Eheheheh… y-you don’t u-understand.”

“What don’t I understand?”

“I… w-well, I… We’ve b-b-been friends since we were t-tiny. I c-can’t lose her, s-so she can’t even h-have the chance to s-see you--”

Frisk nodded. “I know. But… maybe she doesn’t want to lose you, either!”

The armored captain stared blankly at them. “W-what?”

“Well, you’re her friend, and if you go and sacrifice your life, then she’ll lose you.”

“W-well…”

“I used to have this friend once, and they thought that nobody would ever miss them. They… um, they aren’t around anymore, but I think about them all the time. Won’t your friend miss you too?”

“I-I--”

“What if I promised you that I won’t let myself get hurt? And if I do get hurt, I won’t let anybody know it was her? I’m very good at secrets. Look!” Frisk pushed down the sleeve of their shirt to show her the scar on their shoulder that had formed when they’d removed the crossbow bolt.

“H-human. I-...”

“You wouldn’t even know it was there if I didn’t show you, right?”

“W-well, no…”

“And I haven’t gotten killed even though you were trying your hardest, and you’re supposed to be some kind of murderous human killer, right?”

Alphys looked away from them. “R-right…”

“And I’m like, super good at running away when you try to chase me, right?”

“I g-guess, b-b-but--”

“So I’ll get to safety and you won’t have to worry about her! And then I can go meet this Queen ESPAR and we can figure out how to cross the barrier without taking my SOUL out of me and you can go to the surface without killing anyone!”

She looked at them for a long while in silence, then sighed. “A-alright. B-but if you hurt o-o-one hair on her head, h-human… I’ll k-kill you m-myself!”

Then she turned and ran back in the direction they had come from.

<<F-frisk… what are we gonna do now?>>

Frisk sighed, flopping down to sit on the hot dirt road. <<I guess we’re not gonna get a break from this “Doc” after all…>>

<<Unless maybe Captain Alphys is wrong about her and Papyrus managed to convince her to keep us safe?>>

<<I really hope so, but I’m scared to find out.>>

<<I know, that was really an exhausting FIGHT…>> Something wavered unthought at the end of this idea.

<<Well, I don’t see what else we could do but keep going…>>

Their phone rang.

“Sans--”

“hey babybones. good to see ya still kicking. i’m waiting for you outside alph’s house, i think we can get you in safe as soon as she gets home. paps hasn’t reported back to me on things with doc and i’m just a little nervous about you heading forwards in case, well, uh. just in case. if you’re sure you wanna keep going that’s okay, but i think i’d feel a little safer if you turned back and we tried to get you in with alph.”

Frisk looked at him. He seemed earnest, and given what they’d just promised, heading forward to the lab before even taking a moment to recover from their fight with Alphys was a bad idea. So they nodded, and Sans looked relieved. He directed them not backwards towards Waterfall, but forwards, across a long bridge and then right at a crossroads. They saw two figures watching as they went, but ignored them, hoping that they were only monsters out on some business. Sans directed them to walk right up to the river they saw, and wait.

They were waiting only a few seconds when a miniature ship sailed to them. The whole thing was only big enough for two people, maybe three, but it boasted grand blue and silver sails and a figurehead of a worm curled around the bow.

A tall monster with navy blue, slimy looking, skin dressed in blue and silver clothes that looked like a halloween costume greeted them with a deep bow. “Greetinges, moste esteeméd travellerre! Myself I amme the Grannde Duke of the Riverre, moste pleaséd to transportethe thee to whichever porte thou wisheth. Simply climbeth aboarde mine vesselle and we shall at once bee offe.”

They stared dumbstruck at their phone as they climbed onto the ship. Sans snickered. “tell him you’re headed to the waterfall port.”

“Ah, Waterfalle! A moste excellente destination. Let us away!”

The ship began to move along the river, sails filled with a wind that somehow didn’t touch their face. The Duke of the River looked back at them with a wide grin. “Welcomme worme, to mine shippe…”

Frisk waved shyly to him.

“Bewarest thou the Manne who hideth withinne his shell…” he said, almost to himself. Frisk tried to catch his attention to ask what he meant, but he seemed distracted by something. As a cave slid up along the shore, he shook himself and looked back at them.

“We hath arrivedst in Waterfalle!”

Frisk disembarked the boat and Sans called them again immediately.

“How’d you know I was off the boat?” Frisk signed.

“lucky guess. and kaard tends to sail like clockwork.” Sans shrugged, and began directing them back past Seam’s seap to the area Mettablook lived in. “it’s the house with the skeleton outside it.” He waved to them and they rushed down the corridor to the grey and gold house, hanging up as they went.

Chapter Text

“Hi, Sans!”

“heya, babybones. alph got in about a minute ahead of ya--i tried to catch her eye, but she was stressed out. went in, slammed the door, and her keyboard’s been going a mile a minute. aight, here’s the plan. you get behind me, like so .” He stepped in front of them. “let me do the talking until i give the word. and give her this. she loves these.” He handed them a game cartridge with the label rotted off.

Frisk stared at it. “Sure.”

“that’s the spirit! alph is nice, i’m sure she’ll love ya if she bothers to get to know ya. and it’s probably a good idea that you don’t head on to doc right away, paps has been kinda cagey on how it went so either she loves ya now or she hates your guts.”

“That’s… reassuring…”

Sans’ eternal grin got wider. “take a load off, kid. right now you’re not in danger, aight?”

Then he knocked on the door.

The stuttering voice of Captain Alphys was barely audible through the door. “S-sans?”

“yeah, it’s me, alph. open the door?”

“You s-still want t-to… okay. J-just let me g-get my a-armor on, o-okay?” There were a few more quick keystrokes and then a loud clatter, and the door swung open to reveal Captain Alphys, in full armor.  “Hey.”

“heya, alph. sorry if i’m, uh, interrupting something.”

“N-no…” she said, her eyes drifting away from his. “I j-just d-d-didn’t t-think you’d want to c-come, since, u-uh…” She gestured vaguely with one claw.

“nah, nah, no hard feelings, man.”

“Alright, uh, come on in!”

Sans scratched his chin pensively. “hey, uh. would you mind if i brought a friend to come meet ya?”

“O-oh, uh, okay! I-I, uh, w-where’s your f-friend?”

Sans stepped aside. Alphys staggered back as if struck. Frisk waved shyly. A long silence prevailed as the three stared at each other.

“W-w-w--” Captain Alphys cleared her throat. “Come in, then,” she said, much lower and harsher, in a tone that made Frisk’s heart pound.

“who, me? nah, i’m not gonna be there, that’d be weird.” And without another word, he threw up his hands and disappeared.

“W-wha--” Alphys coughed and cleared her throat. “What?”

Frisk shrugged. “I think he just does that.”

“Let’s not stand outside.” Alphys stepped back from the door. “I suppose I did agree to hang out with you.”

Frisk smiled at her and stepped into her house, leaving their shoes at the door as she indicated. Surprisingly, the inside was rather cozy--a purple plush carpet covered the floor, and the main fixtures of the room were a big television with several games consoles and the two armchairs facing them. Off to one side there was a computer and desk chair, and on the other side was a low table with some fabric scraps and tools spread out on it.

The captain spoke slowly, clearly trying to restrain her stutter. “So why are you here?”

“Sans said maybe… maybe we could become friends?”

“Why would you… want to be friends… with me? I hurt you, I t-tried to kill you, I threatened your l-life, I-- wait. I g-get it. You think you can get me to b-be vulnerable near y-you. S-so you can g-get revenge. Eheheheh. Well, I--” she paused, making another effort to speak clearly and menacingly-- “I won’t let you! So get out!”

Frisk shook their head quickly. “That’s not what I want. Please, I just want to--I just want to be friends with you! I don’t want to hurt you!”

Alphys stared at them. “T-then why? I s-still d-don’t even know if I s-should spare you. I-- I s-suppose you a-are my guest, b-but t-the whole w-world is a-at stake and you, y-you w-w-want to be friends with me?”

Frisk nodded. “This is for you.” They held out the game cartridge.

“O-oh.” She reached out and took it. “D-did Sans give it to you?”

“Yeah…”

“He’s a g-good gift giver. He h-helps me pick out g-g-gifts f--never m-mind that, uh, shall we see what it i-is?” She walked over to the television and rubbed down the cartridge with a soft cloth, then plugged it into the red and blue console. “It’ll take me a s-second to g-get this up. You can g-grab a s-seat o-or, uh, f-feel free t-to look a-around, I-I g-guess.”

Frisk nodded. The room was rather small, about the size of the hostel bedroom they’d shared with three other kids. They looked at the table with the fabric and tools to see if they could figure out what it was for.

“O-oh. Eheheh, that’s for, um, finishing the weapons I m-make. Y-you know, l-like Sans d-does. Y-yeah.”

They knelt down and pet the plush carpet on an instinct. It was a lovely texture. <<Wow… it feels like a cloud.>> Heady almost smiled. <<I bet she doesn’t have to worry about nicks in the floor from her claws either…>>

They wandered curiously over to her computer, but before they could get too close, Alphys yelped. “H-hey! H-how about you, um, g-grab a seat, o-okay? T-there’s a few t-things on there I f-forgot to close up, a-a-and--”

Frisk blushed. “Sorry,” they signed. “I wasn’t trying to pry.”

They spotted a door in the far end of the room and inquired about it.

“T-that’s my b-bedroom. Um. You’re n-not going in t-there, o-okay? N-nobody else is a-allowed, d-don’t take it p-personally.” She seemed to consider this statement. “W-well, one other p-person is allowed. B-but, um. N-not a kid. W-who I just met. Eheheh…”

Frisk went to go look at the TV with all the games consoles wired into it.

<<That’s an xbox! And a playstation! And--is that an NES?>> Heady gasped. <<It is!! AND a SNES. And she’s got a DS over there, the kind that takes gameboy cartridges… wow, seems like she’s really into video games.>>

Next to the TV on the other side was a bookshelf full of books. Frisk pulled one down at random.

“Whoah, you have the Ultimate Adventurer manga?”

“Eheheh, I--, well, i-it’s important that m-monsters know a-about human c-culture, r-right?”

“I love Ultimate Adventurer! One of my friends at the hostel brought the mangas home from the school library!”

“O-oh, have you g-gotten to the p-part where--oh, s-sorry, t-that’s p-probably spoilers, eheheh.”

Frisk grinned. “My favorite part is when she uses the laser spear to cut open the shadow realm and pull the mind eater out of the school right before it got to her girlfriend!”

“Y-yeah, that looked so g-great in the a-anime adaptation! It reminds me of--eheheh, I m-mean, um.” She looked away. “I w-wish t-there were more s-stories about m-monster heroes.”

Frisk nodded and plopped into the chair next to Alphys.

“S-so, um, t-this is Mario Kart! H-have you ever played it b-before?”

Frisk shook their head.

“O-oh, well, this button speeds you up, a-and you steer like this, and…” Alphys explained to them the controller and how to hold it, and then showed them where to pick a character. Even though Heady wanted them to play as the little green dinosaur, they felt drawn to the yellow dog. He put up less of a fight than they’d expected, though, so Frisk selected the character, and put together a pretty car. Then Alphys picked out her character (a grey spiky turtle kid with a hammer) and set the route to random.

“R-ready?”

Frisk nodded, grinned, and leaned in.

“R-r-rainbow road?!” Alphys shook her head. “D-dammit, I w-wanted to ease you in, n-not--” An insistent traffic light blinked. “O-okay, I-I’m sorry, I--”

The light turned green and Alphys’ bike shot away down the track. Frisk’s did too, an instant later--and careened over the edge of the road.

<<Dangit!>>

Alphys mused with her eyes locked on the screen, commanding the course with trained ease. “I-it’s weird that you chose t-that character. T-that’s who T-toriel always plays as. S-she doesn’t l-like most of the g-games I do… W-we really o-only agree on, um, P-pokemon and A-animal Crossing. I t-think she’ll l-like you, if you g-get there, that is.” She skidded around a tight corner and looked over to Frisk’s side of the screen, where they were in twelfth place, slowly making their way around the track, frowning down at their controller as they figured it out. “I m-mean, she l-liked me, a-and you’re, k-kind of, a lot like I w-was when I was your age.”

They looked up at her, brow furrowed.

“W-well, I used t-to be s-shy, and um, I t-tried to be, um, f-f-friends with a-all the grownups, and I really o-only was f-friends with Undyne. S-some, uh, stuff, um, h-hurt me, and I d-decided that I couldn’t l-let anyone else d-do that to m-me again. B-but looking a-at you, it’s kind of like s-seeing my little s-self. It’s w-weird, b-but something m-makes me feel like we’re a l-lot alike. Like m-maybe you’d understand what I w-went through.”

Frisk nodded, and began to speed up in the game. Two laps ahead, Alphys shot by them like a thunderbolt.

“A-and I’m s-starting to think it’s p-probably you who c-convinced Sans not to k-kill you. W-which I think s-should’ve made t-two of us. K-killing somebody c-changes you, human. It’s w-why I do all of the executions--I d-don’t want anyone else to g-go through that. B-but S-sans, he… He’s l-looking for somebody t-to blame f-for the, um, a-accident, a-and w-when he finds them, h-he wants to k-kill them. S-so I c-can’t let him into the g-guard… h-he’ll just search f-for them, and h-hurt himself, a-and o-on top of t-that, i-it’ll put me a-at risk t-too. T-the other g-guards will t-think I’m not a-a-as strict a-and dangerous as I s-seem, and hurt me.”

Crossing the finish line, she set her controller down and shook her head. “I-it’s really n-not your p-problem t-to worry a-about. I can t-take care of m-myself. H-honestly, I s-should worry a-about you, eheheh. W-what would you h-have done if I r-really wanted to h-hurt you…?”

Frisk sped across the finish line and set the controller in their lap. They pumped a fist. “I wasn’t last!”

“O-oh! C-congrats!” She offered them a hand for a high-five, which they did.

“Um…” Frisk wiggled their fingers awkwardly. “Do you want a hug?”

“What? W-why?”

They gestured vaguely. “It sounds like you’re going through a lot.”

They peered into her visor. Was she… blushing? “O-oh, I… I w-was rambling, w-wasn’t I? W-well, d-don’t worry about that! S-say, do you want t-to try forging a w-weapon?”

They cocked their head curiously. “What?”

“W-well, I n-noticed you j-just had your s-stick equipped as a weapon, a-and I w-was thinking, I c-could m-make you a tanto knife, for d-dual wielding, a-and then you w-wouldn’t b-be totally d-defenseless, a-and I think it m-might b-be fun to d-do together! Eheheh…”

Frisk thought about this. “Well, I don’t need a weapon, but if you think I’d have fun making one with you, I could give it a try!”

“G-great!!!”

Chapter Text

Alphys’ forge was behind the house, a half-enclosed room with one wall made up by a waterfall that crashed into a hollow at the edge of the room carefully delineated with neat, bare, dirt banks. A narrow trench of bricks, partially full of charcoal chunks, extended from one of the walls for a few feet, and on the other side of it was a strange long wooden box with a handle in the middle of one wall. A wooden platform was set in the ground, equidistant between the brick trench and an anvil. They spotted a large pile of junk metal, trash they couldn’t even begin to guess at the purpose of, as well as a large stack of wooden blocks, carefully chopped and sanded to an even shape. There was a bucket of some kind of goop, and several metal boxes with glowing lights in the sides. Frisk stared at her, intimidated, as she selected a long, bent, piece of metal, about an inch and a half thick, and carefully clamped it into a set of tongs.

“S-so, um, first, we’re going to l-light the f-forge!! Fire magic is b-best, but I just use a firestarter, b-because, um, well.” She chuckled nervously. “I’m g-going to light the f-fire, c-can you stand by the fuigo bellows and pump air? N-nice and even will g-give us a g-good fire!” She showed Frisk where to stand, then touched one of the buttons on her armor. A brief moment passed, then a pretty blue flame jetted out of one of the claw covers on her armor. She touched it to the charcoal in the trench, and a red and orange fire jumped up. Frisk slid the handle back and forth once, surprised at the force it took, and the fire responded to being fed by growing larger and more confident.

They grinned and found a smooth rhythm feeding the fire, while Alphys tended it quickly with several tools. Once it was steady, warm and bright and shooting off glowing sparks into the room, she knelt on the wooden floor and began to heat the metal in the fire and work it with the hammer.

“I’m m-making a g-good shape, a-and then I’ll c-cut off the e-extra! D-don’t worry about it b-being made of trash, the b-best steel we h-have is from the dump!” She hit the metal with expert care, and Frisk could see a tapered rectangle shape begin to emerge. Soon, she struck the general shape of the knife free from the rest of the bar and returned the excess to the scrap pile. She readjusted the tongs and heated the knife again, now switching back and forth between a big and a little hammer. Heady oohed and ahhed as the metal took form, and Frisk felt themself captivated as well, by the fire and sparks and the way that Captain Alphys was creating a blade out of raw trash.

Alphys, inscrutable as she was behind her helmet and focused on her work, seemed pleased with their work tending the fire, and once or twice handed them a scoop and instructed them to take a break and scoop more charcoal into the fire. She offered that they could try using the hammer if they wanted as well, and they did for a short while, but the big hammer was surprisingly heavy, and they felt clumsy wielding it from their kneeling position on the floor, copying Alphys. She was much larger than them, although only half a head taller, and handled the hammer like it was nothing when she took it back from them, making them gaze at her in awe.

<<How does Sans even use that thing?>>

Heady shrugged. <<I dunno.>>

They giggled a little at the thought of Sans using a baby hammer instead. <<I bet she’s stronger than anyone else down here!>>

<<Oh?>>

<<Hm, maybe not the Undertaker.>> They bit their lip pensively. <<He’s pretty tall, do you think he could pick her up?>>

<<Maybe.>>

<<Do you think the Queen is going to be strong?>>

Heady almost laughed. <<I don’t think she’s going to be buff … but she’s probably really good at fighting. She was in the War, you know…>>

<<Really?>>

<<Yeah…>> Before Heady could elaborate, however, Alphys had more instructions for them. The knife had started to look way more like a knife, and she had asked Frisk to pour water over the anvil as she pounded away.

“It’s a process c-called Hizukuri . It’s part of a human tradition of blademaking,” she elaborated, a microphone in her helmet making her voice heard over the clanging of her hammer on the blade. “Japanese. Forging the b-bevels and f-f-final shape, um--” She looked over to see if they were listening, and Frisk nodded raptly. Encouraged, she began to tell them about tanto forging as she hammered away. She segued into how she’d learned about it from the dump rescue library, and then laughed abruptly. “I b-bet the rest of the g-guard thinks I’m illiterate.”

“Why don’t you show them?”

“Oh. Um. S-see, if I d-don’t prove them w-wrong when they think I’m a b-brute, t-then they won’t a-ask any questions when I d-do things that t-they think are w-w-weird. A-and then nobody finds out why I’m d-doing those things, a-and I c-can keep doing them in p-peace. L-like saving people’s l-lives!”

Frisk nodded solemnly. “My rabbi says that one of the highest forms of tzedekah is when people don’t know you’re doing it.”

Alphys looked at them curiously. “That’s a good thing, right?”

“Yeah! Tzedakah--” they fingerspelled the unfamiliar Hebrew sign-- “is helping other people. Well, it means justice, but it also means that.” They nodded, happy with their explanation.

“Oh! W-well, t-thank you! Eheheh…” Alphys pounded on the blade a few more times, then held it up to the firelight with the tongs. “I t-think this step is done! N-next, we have to cool it and p-profile and shape t-the blade!” She set the blade aside to cool and looked at some readout on her visor briefly. “O-oh! It’s p-probably t-time we ate. D-do you mind if I j-just o-order a pizza?”

Frisk thought about it. “Can you not get meat on it? I can’t really keep strictly kosher down here, but I can at least not eat milk with meat.”

“Okay! I c-can g-get veggies on it, that’s h-healthy, right! I m-mean, you’re a k-kid, so I c-can’t just ignore health e-entirely, eheheh!”

Frisk nodded happily. “Can we get olives and onions and spinach?”

“S-sure! Do you l-like peppers?”

They shook their head. “No spicy food for me. It messes with my sensory issues.”

Alphys looked happily at them. “Y-you have sensory issues t-too?”

“Yeah!” They flapped their hands excitedly.

“D-do you have any s-samefoods I could g-get you?”

They thought about this. “I don’t think you can get them underground. It’s okay! When I get everyone to the surface, I can take you and Papyrus and Sans to shabbat dinner at the youth hostel! Then you all can try my favorite foods, like I’m eating yours!”

“O-okay! Let me c-call for pizza!” Alphys grabbed her crossbow and thumbed a switch on it, then pressed a few buttons on her vambrace. “U-uhhh… (Oh my god, help…)”

She looked at Frisk desperately. They thought for a second, then started to sign, big simple signs taking time for her to say each word.

“I’d like to order a… um…” She missed a sign, voice quivering. Frisk fingerspelled it for her. “A pizza…? With… um…” Here Frisk wiggled their fingers nervously. <<What did we decide we were getting on the pizza?>>

“The toppings are, uh…” Alphys’ own claws wiggled, then flapped suddenly. “I have them copied, I’ll just paste them to you.”

She began tapping on her keypad, then started, and abruptly flicked the switch again. “GOD DAMNIT, SANS!!!”

Frisk backed away as fast as they could. “What did Sans do?”

“Left my p-phone in s-stupid d-d-dimension mode! AND I f-forgot to write down the t-toppings, s-so whoever that w-w-was was probably s-so confused, b-because, um, I d-didn’t have the t-toppings copied at all!” She stared at them cowering against the doorframe. “O-oh no… I d-didn’t mean to f-frighten you, I-I’m so sorry, I-I should j-just--”

“Alphys.” Frisk’s signs were made sharper by their nervousness, but they kept their hands from shaking. “If that wasn’t the pizza man after all, we can just try it again, right?”

“O-oh.” Alphys ground to a halt, considering this. “Y-yes, I s-suppose we can!”

She went to type something on her vambrace, then stopped again. “H-human, I’m r-really sorry I yelled and s-scared you. I promise I won’t d-do it again. I-is there anything I c-can do to make it up to you?”

Frisk stared at Alphys. She was apologizing? To them? She was an adult, she didn’t need to apologize to a kid, especially for shouting and--

<<Yes she does. And she’s a friend. Of course she wanted to apologize for hurting you.>>

Frisk nearly flinched. Heady had been far more quiet than usual, ever since… Ever since what had happened on the bridge. This was practically the first time he’d expressed an opinion on anything without Frisk’s life in the balance, let alone spoke without being asked about something. <<Oh,>> they thought, and opened up their arms to hug Alphys.

“A-a hug? O-okay, I g-guess!”

To their surprise, Alphys screwed up her face--and all her armor disappeared, leaving only her visor. Underneath she was a short, yellow, lizard with broad, leaf-shaped, scales, with a set of frills at the back of her head which had been accented by the helmet into the spikes they’d seen. She wore a hoodie and sweatpants, and her clawed feet were bare. She put her arms around them gently, and they were slightly surprised at the strength in her short, chubby, limbs, and how easily she seemed to hold that strength at bay for them and restrain herself from crushing them.

They squeezed her in an affectionate hug, burying their face in her shoulder happily. When they pulled away, they sat down in one of the chairs and helped Alphys through making a script, then listened happily (and a little sleepily) as she ordered the pizza. While they waited for the pizza to come, they sat with Alphys in the still-warm forge as she took the cooled blade and began working on it with a large file, chatting with them about video games as she did. Both of them danced around the topic of their fight, and the enmity between humans and monsters, however, and every time the conversation edged close to the mysterious Doctor Undyne, the hardened captain became still more nervously stuttery or strangely quiet. They had just fallen into one of these dark pits of conversation when the doorbell rang.

“O-oh! I’ll go g-get the pizza.”

Alphys leapt to her feet and fled, and they heard the clattering of her armor as she went.

Frisk waited a few minutes in the forge, curiously examining the blade and the equipment. As they poked at things, Heady stayed mostly silent or gave vague descriptions of the objects around them, and they began to worry.

<<Are you alright?>>

<<...>>

<<Heady?>>

<<...>>

<<Really! I’m not mad at you, I just… I’m worried.>> Frisk bit their lip. <<I want you to talk to me! I miss you!>>

<<...--!>>

At that moment, Alphys reappeared, once again free of her armor, holding a big box of pizza. “C-come on in a-and we can w-watch a m-movie while we eat!”

Frisk rushed into the house, their worry briefly forgotten. Alphys put a battered VHS tape into the television and offered them a paper plate and a slice of pizza.

“What are we watching?” they signed with one hand, taking a huge bite of pizza.

“P-princess Mononoke! It’s o-one of my f-f-favorite films, it’s about, w-well, I w-won’t spoil it f-for you! But it’s r-really good!”

As the movie played, Frisk and Alphys devoured the pizza in amiable silence. Although Alphys had clearly watched the film many times, she watched on the edge of her seat, wincing and cheering in turn until the very end.

Chapter Text

Frisk yawned. The day’s excitement had done them in despite the early hour, and with their belly full it was all they could do to stay awake.

“O-oh! You’re t-tired, a-a-aren’t you? W-well, um…” Alphys chewed on a claw, thinking. “H-how about I g-give you a sleeping bag and stoke the fire, and you can sleep in the nice warm forge?”

“Okay!” Frisk watched sleepily as Alphys went into her bedroom, opening the door carefully so Frisk could not even see inside, and then returned with a purple sleeping bag. With Alphys, they went out to the forge, where she made a fire in a regular firepit and laid out the sleeping bag next to it.

“I-I’m gonna s-sit i-inside and work while you’re r-resting! I d-d-don’t need much sleep, eheheh…”

Frisk nodded, and wriggled out of their shoes and hoodie. They balled up the hoodie and slid it under their head as they wiggled into the sleeping bag. With small, tired, signs they said the shema, and then relaxed, the heat of the fire cooking away their daytime cares and worries.

They were running, running, running. The unfamiliar sensation of two strong legs under them was wonderful, but they could barely focus on it. Blood ran down their back, hot, sticky, gritty blood that soaked their shirt and pants. There was a strange sensation on top of their head, too--a painful break like a bone where nothing was . Then suddenly the world around them changed, and they were cold, only the ghost of the wounds on their body aching. They advanced menacingly towards a form they couldn’t make out, lips sliding back over too-sharp teeth, fingers tingling as they flexed them threateningly. Another step and the wooden floor fell out from under them and they spun down into darkness, landing on a comfortable bed and sitting bolt-upright with eyes bleary, then bending forwards and vomiting what felt like a mix of blood and sand. They whimpered, aching blisters on their hands and lips, and fell back into the bed, too exhausted to even shove off the filthy blanket. A voice that sounded strangely familiar spoke. “This is all your fault,” it laughed. “I knew your plan was worthless, but you would insist.”

They wanted to cry out, but just then their eyes shot open and they were awake. The instant they were, Captain Alphys was at their side.

“A-are you okay? T-thank stars you’re a-awake, you were h-having a nightmare, I--”

Frisk disentangled their hand from the twisted sleeping bag, but couldn’t yet do much more than stare at her.

“I-I f-finished filing your tanto and m-making the handle parts a-about an hour ago. D-do you w-w-want to have some b-breakfast and t-then d-do the yaki-ire?”

Grateful for the distraction, Frisk nodded. The fire had burned down to embers in the night, but the morning light was already starting to filter through the sun-stones. They accepted cold pizza from Alphys eagerly and devoured it, excited to see what they would be doing in the forge today.

“W-we start with a paste of water, clay, ash, charcoal, stone, and a little bit of m-magic!” She brought out a bowl of greyish paste with a spreading stick. “S-spreading it on the blade is called tsuchioke. It’s one of the m-most important parts of making a tanto!” She offered Frisk the stick. “I’ve m-marked w-where you spread it. T-try to make it nice a-and even!”

They carefully spread the paste through the area Alphys had pencilled off, then smoothed it out, then carefully took the blade by the tang and did the other side. Then Alphys took it back and and spread the paste a little more, then focused on something Frisk couldn’t see. A tiny spark leapt through the blade.

“J-just activating the s-spell that m-makes it d-dry instantly! It’s S-s-sans’ invention, the t-time dilator makes it dry a-as if overnight, b-but in j-just a few seconds! T-this next part is m-my idea, b-but, um, I had a little, uh, help with t-the execution. S-stand on the platform!”

Frisk did as they were told, and Alphys grabbed her crossbow and flicked a switch. Plates slammed over the sunstones, dimming the light of the room to just the coals of the forge fire and the far-off light from above the waterfall. Then she stoked the forge fire and, using the tongs, thrust the blade into it. A few seconds later she drew it out, glowing golden.

“S-stay still! This is w-when the s-steel g-goes to the t-t-test. It h-has to be strong! ”

Frisk waited with baited breath as Alphys walked up to the flower-choked bank of the waterfall. She muttered something, then--a cloud of steam rose as she thrust it into the pool at the bottom of the falls. She muttered something else, moved sharply, and--with a clatter of tongs and knife Alphys slipped. She screamed as she went feet over head into the falls, the roaring water pushing her down. Frisk grabbed their stick and rushed forwards, intending to help, but Alphys was already standing a little unsteadily under the crushing water, clutching the blade by its tang. Soaked to the bone, her eyes met Frisk’s from behind her cold, dark, visor.

“YOU.”

Frisk staggered back.

“Y-you pushed me!” She stared at them in unseeing fury. “I s-should’ve known! A-a-all you w-wanted to do was g-g-get close enough to me to g-get your revenge.” Her voice grew icy and mocking. “T-there’s C-captain Alphys, o-on the edge of the water! S-shove her in a-and she’ll fall into t-torpor if she d-doesn’t d-drown!” She took two unsteady steps forward and swayed, her words coming a little slower. “I s-should’ve known you w-w-wouldn’t want to b-be my friend. W-well! I m-may not have my a-armor or my c-crossbow, b-b-but I c-c-can s-still s-stop you f-from h-h-hurting anyone e-else, t-traitor!”

Frisk stared at her aghast. “I didn’t push you, I promise, I don’t want to hurt you, please--!”

It was no use. The world flashed to black and white around them. “G-g-go on t-then! A-attack me!”

Frisk desperately moved their SOUL to the ACT button.

<<...>>

<<Please, don’t you have any idea what we can do? Can’t we convince her not to hurt us?>>

<<I don’t think she wants to hear it. I guess we could do it the monster way…>>

<<How’s that?>>

<<Well, if you’re sure you want to try… monsters are injured by the intent of their enemies to hurt them, not the human collisions of matter on matter. If you attack her, and you really don’t want to hurt her, she’ll feel it.>>

<<I’m scared.>>

<<Okay.>>

Frisk was surprised that Heady gave it up without a fight, but signed “Spare,” to Alphys anyway.

“I’m n-n-not g-going to g-give in t-t-to you!”

They frowned and tried again. “S-s-stop that! I w-w-won’t fall f-for that a-again!”

“You’re n-n-not g-going t-t-to get c-c-close enough to h-hurt me e-e-ever again!”

“F-fight me b-b-before I g-give into t-torpor, y-y-you c-coward!”

Frisk could see that despite her brave words, Captain Alphys was indeed slowing down, her sodden clothes weighing on her as her eyelids wavered. They gritted their teeth and swung at her, trying their hardest to pull the hit and barely graze her. Their stick struck her readied body and--

“Eheheheh… ahahahah… so you DID want to attack me…” Her eyelids fluttered slightly. “Then why… w-why couldn’t you h-h-h-hurt me? Unless…” She blinked hard and shook her head. “O-oh. You r-really don’t h-have any k-killing intent, e-e-even when I c-called you a c-coward, a-a-and a t-traitor, a-and… o-oh no. I’m s-s-s-so sorry, I r-really messed t-this up, d-didn’t I. You d-d-didn’t p-push me at a-all, d-d-did you? I j-j-just lashed out, a-a-and--”

Frisk reached out an empty hand to help her up onto the muddy, bare, bank of the forge. They dropped their stick so they could sign with their free hand. “It’s okay! I forgive you! You made a mistake, but you didn’t hurt me, and we can still be friends!”

Alphys stared at them with wide amber eyes. “You r-r-really still w-w-want to be my f-friend?”

“Yeah! Why would one problem in an otherwise awesome sleepover mean I don’t want to be your friend? You got scared, that’s not real meanness. Trust me, I know when a grown-up wants to be mean to me.”

Clinging to the blade, Alphys watched them, then spoke slowly, eyes half shut. “Oh… T-then… I’ll g-g-go to S-sans’ f-forge. I c-can warm up t-there with him m-making sure I’ll… b-be alright… w-without g-going into t-torpor f-f-further. A-and he and I c-c-can call you… and h-h-help… and I’ll f-f-finish this f-for you…” She raised the blade slightly.

“I’ll call Sans to come get you then.”

“I c-c-can--” Alphys swayed on her feet and Frisk stepped forwards and caught her.

They helped her to lie down near the cooling ashes of last-night's fire and then pulled out their phone, staying close to Alphys as she lay, eyelids fluttering.

Sans picked up on the last ring. “babybones? all ok there?”

“Alphys is going into torpor. She wants you to take her to your forge.”

His right eyelight disappeared, and his left, the upside-down heart, flared bright yellow. Suddenly he was standing in front of them holding his phone. They both hung up their phones with a clat in sync.

“alph?”

Alphys seemed to force her eyes open. “S-sans…”

“i’ll get you somewhere warm, don’t worry.”

She cleared her throat and made a lazy swipe at his ankle with one hand, holding him in place. “T-thank y-you…”

Sans stared at her. “what?”

“F-for introducing m-me to the h-h-human. T-thank you.” Her voice was trailing off as she spoke, and her head was nodding. Frisk held her cold free hand in both of theirs.

“sshh…don’t burn yourself out, okay? whether you go into torpor or not you’ll be okay with paps and me taking care of ya.” Sans scooped her up with some effort and addressed Frisk. “alph and me are going home. you... should probably try to get through hotlands to the capitol. you can call us any time, i’m sure i can get her on the mend in two, three, minutes tops. you gonna be alright?”

Frisk nodded. “I’m gonna be okay if my friends are!”

Sans shook his head with a real smile on his skull. “heh, you sure will. see you soon, babybones.”

Chapter Text

Frisk stared at the space that Sans and Alphys had vacated. There seemed to be nothing left to do but move on towards to Hotlands, so in a daze they left the house, leaning on their stick as they walked. Their mind was silent as they retraced their steps to the boat and told the Duke of the River they were heading to Hotlands, and they barely heard his muttering as he guided the boat through the waves.

It was difficult to decipher what he said through his strange, thick, accent. “Humannes… monsteres… flowerse…”

The part of their brain that was listening waited for a conclusion to the sentence, but none came. They left the boat still more confused, the hot, sticky air hitting them like a tidal wave. Walking back towards where Alphys had spared them, they spotted a SAVE point outside a massive, rectangular building with a huge sign on the front which read “ROYAL LABORATORY”. They reached out to the SAVE point, setting their jaw. This must be where Doctor Undyne worked.

<<... the power of a mighty laboratory in this lava-scorched land shines within you. ❤️Determination/Magic? File Saved.>>

<<Heady?>>

<<...Yeah?>>

<<What’s wrong?>>

<<I just… I need to be quieter and give you more space.>>

<<You’re not gonna go away though, right? You’ll still tell me about things, and help me in fights, right? We can still be friends, right?>>

<<Oh. Um, okay!>>

Frisk had expected him to argue, and they felt slightly relieved that he hadn’t. 

<<So, um. This lab, huh?>>

Heady’s voice frowned. <<It’s the royal laboratory… the royal scientist must be headquartered here.>>

<<So that’s this “Doctor Undyne”, right?>>

<<I’d guess so.>>

Frisk planted their stick. <<No time like the present, right?>> They walked right up to the door and knocked twice, eyes sliding to the frame to look for the mezuzah even though they knew they wouldn’t find one here Underground.

After a brief, nervous, pause, the doors slid open. They stepped into the lab, breathing in the cool air gratefully. The doors slid shut behind them with a quiet click.

The whole room was dark, and Frisk was having some difficulties processing what was what in the dim light of a computer monitor. On the monitor was a blurry picture of a human kid in a green sweater. The image was zoomed close on the blurry head and shoulders, and Frisk could barely make out some reddish hair. The bottom was marked with a series of mysterious numbers and letters, and the top had a play/pause icon. They frowned at it, but couldn’t quite figure out who it was. They shuffled further into the building, using their stick not only to lean on but to test the floor in front of them for obstacles.

Suddenly a door somewhere whizzed open and closed, and the lights went up with a flash. Frisk shielded their eyes, whimpering in the sudden light, then opened them again. Someone was walking down the hallway towards them, a towering monster with bright blue scales and red hair pulled back into a messy ponytail. A dirty white lab coat marked her as a scientist, and a pin on it stated her pronouns. Over her eyes were a set of tough-looking goggles, with the lense over her left eye blacked out.

“Napstaton!” The scientist’s voice was a deep alto, and sparked a loud humming, whirring sound from deeper within the lab. “Our visitor is here!”

A grey, nondescript, cube in front of them suddenly lit up with screens on all sides. Each screen flashed with a text-art logo that looked somewhat like a face--(0]0)--and then slowly resolved itself into a slightly more detailed pixel face. “now?…” Subtitles blinked onto one screen as it spoke.

The scientist rolled her eye. “ Yes now, if they’d arrived half an hour ago I would’ve told you half an hour ago!”

“...you ought to give a guy more warning than that.” The cube’s voice was somewhat accusatory. “alright, human. are you prepared to be tested?”

Frisk frowned, but signed a nervous yes.

“excellent. The FitnessGram™ Pacer Test is a multistage aerobic capacity test that progressively gets more difficult as it continues. The 20 meter pacer test will begin in 30 sec--is that the wrong test…oh no…”

“Why do we even have that test?!” She glared at the computer as if it was somehow their fault.

“...everything on my hard drive is there because you put it there…”

“Aw, fuck--” The scientist froze. “Shit I swore in front of the human ah fuck dammit I did it ag--OH FOR BLOODY BLUE ANGELS SAKE--” She turned away from them, making several explosive gestures in the air. She heaved a deep breath and turned back to them. “Sorry. I’ll, uh. Try that again. My name’s Doctor Undyne, what’s yours?”

Frisk signed their name. “I use they/them pronouns.”

She waved at the cube. “This is NAPSTAton--short for Natural Appearing Perpetual Scientific Thought AutomaTON. I built them, and they developed a SOUL. They’re kind of--” she wiggled a hand unhelpfully--“quiet. Anyway. They and I are going to test you, find your weaknesses, and take your SOUL.”

Frisk took a big step back. “You’re going to do what?”

“take your SOUL, she said……… although i wish you’d stop shouting it out for everyone to hear. weren’t we going to keep your involvement in this a secret?”

“Oh, right.” Undyne grinned a big, apologetic grin, displaying several rows of yellowing shark teeth. “Please, initiate the program I have no knowledge of and cannot be liable for.”

“alright. human, you accept the possibility of pain and seizure.” Napstaton spoke like they were reading from a script. “are you ready?”

Frisk’s signs were sharp and panicked. “Can I say no?!”

“unfortunately not…” The computer heaved an electronic sigh. “initiating. human, please rate your current level of pain between one and ten.”

Frisk grimaced, considering the constant ache of their weak leg and the new throb of their scarred shoulder. “Four.”

“excellent. what would you say your greatest physical accomplishment has been?”

“Probably when I climbed the huge tree outside my synagogue! It was like twenty feet tall, and I climbed all the way up it even though it was super dangerous with my leg, see--” they indicated the leg with a proud sign-- “and I fell down when I was trying to get back out of it, and my rabbi caught me and I didn’t even cry!”

“interesting. rate your highest level of schooling.”

Frisk winced. “Fourth grade.”

“how old are you?”

“Twelve.”

“answer the following questions to the best of your ability. what are robots made of?”

A beam projected four answers into the air in front of them: ‘snips and snails’, ‘sugar and spice’, ‘hopes and dreams’, and ‘metal and magic’. On a guess, they pointed to metal and magic.”

“correct. which trait is typically attributed to the red SOUL?”

Frisk grinned despite their fears. SOUL magic had been a special interest for years--this question was a gimme. They selected individuality with barely a glance over the other options.

“correct.” The computer took them through the other six SOUL colors in short order.

The next section of the test was a bunch of riddles Frisk had to roll around in their head for a while before they felt they understood. The computer let them have as much time as they needed, so they struggled through, signing out their thoughts to themself as they went. After they’d puzzled out the hardest riddle yet, the test seemed to change its tune. 

“do you have any elemental powers or weaknesses? answer honestly.”

Frisk shook their head, mildly confused.

“are you unusually proficient in stealth for your age?”

Frisk frowned. “No…”

“interesting… assessment complete. the human is unusually powerful at overcoming obstacles. initiating tier three lab lockdown, SOUL retrieval programme six.”

Undyne jumped as Napstaton said this, reminding Frisk she was still there. She had moved without them noticing, focused on the testing as they were, and rushed back towards them. “Whoah, whoah, that’s a lot, nerd! Do you really think--”

“well… the testing indicated that they’re clever and tough……”

She frowned. “So… so we can’t even give them a chance? I hadn’t thought of that, huh. That’s… it’s just dishonorable! No, I can’t do that to you, punk. I’m gonna go back to plan A.” She shook her head, and there was a series of clunks as some kind of hidden security mechanism disengaged.

“i’m going back to sleep then… if it’s all the same to you……” A quiet series of beeps echoed from Napstaton, and their screens went dark. 

“I, uh, look. We’re not friends, okay? This wasn’t a friendly thing. This was like… respecting your opponent. I don’t wanna be unfair to you, punk, but I do have to take your SOUL. It’s just--look, that test was basically cheating. I don’t know what I was thinking.” She looked away from them, hands fidgeting as she spoke quickly. “I have plenty of stuff I can use to take you down honestly. And--I mean, you made it past Alphys, and she’s… well, she’s amazing! So killing you straight up is probably just gonna make me look like a fool. I mean, Alphys is so strong, and tough, and cool, and powerful, and you--well, you couldn’t have beaten her. No WAY! She’s, well, she’s, she’s--”

Napstaton beeped sarcastically without brightening their screens. “they’re gonna figure out you have a crush if you keep talking like that……….”

“WHAT?!?” A blue spear of energy slammed into the side of the computer. “SHUT up. SHUT UP!!! I DON’T-- I’M NOT-- YOU!!!”

“... it’s only the worst kept secret in the world……”

“Here, I tell you what. Ignore them. Gimme your phone. If someone else is trying to kill ya, gimme a ring. You and me are gonna face off properly all through Hotlands, and if you make it to the Queen, you win. Just a straight fight between you and me, ‘kay?”

Frisk stared at her. She was looking at them, wide-eyed and excited, and they gave the situation a quick assessment. If they said no, she might just tell Napstaton to kill them there and then. Agree to play her game and “face off” with her, though, and they’d be up against an opponent with a supercomputer who thought “mercy” was giving someone a chance when you tried to kill them. On the other hand, she was treating them like a person, not just a walking SOUL container, and maybe, if they gave her enough time, she’d realize that even if they were on opposite sides of some huge, messed-up war, she could decide not to kill them anyway.

They grabbed their phone and placed it in her hands with a forced smile and a nod. 

Undyne took the phone and frowned at it. “Oh, so you’re why I’ve been getting all these freaky signals. This thing is ANCIENT! Gimme a sec, willya?”

She bolted off, and from a distance Frisk could hear the sound of some kind of laser, a chainsaw, and a power drill. Seconds later she gave it back to them seemingly unharmed. “Here, punk. It’s got all kinds of features buuut you’re gonna have to figure them out on your own. I, uh, have to get something set up.” She shifted her glasses a little to itch under the darkened lens. “Bye!” She dashed face-first into a shadowed corner and disappeared an instant before hitting the wall, leaving Frisk dazed by her speed.

Chapter Text

Frisk immediately opened up the phone. Undyne had added several large and tempting red buttons to the screen, and they spent a mere handful of seconds wondering what they did before realizing that it would be embarrassing to die like that, and it would probably hurt, a lot. 

<<You wouldn’t be dead forever,>> Heady mumbled timidly.

Frisk started. <<I guess not.>> They considered it, then shook their head. <<I don’t like dying.>>

<<Me neither.>> He seemed very sad about something, but no probing would make him open up about what it was. At last Frisk took the hint and pushed the phone button on the screen, realizing belatedly that they’d been standing around with their phone open.

They looked longingly at Asgore’s contact, frowned, and tapped Sans’ instead.

Sans grinned at them and waved. “heya, babybones! alphys is up and at ‘em again, d’ya want me to put her on the line?” The video flickered, and Sans was in a firelit room next to a pile of blankets. The blankets shifted, and Alphys’ head was visible poking out, unarmored but with her everpresent visor.

“T-they wanted to t-talk to me?”

Sans grinned at the camera. “sure thing, alphs.” Frisk was certain they hadn’t been offered a choice in the matter, even though they didn’t mind talking to their new friend.

“W-where are you--o-oh. You’re i-in her l-lab. W-well! Y-you’re s-safe, right? She didn’t, s-she didn’t--”

Frisk shook their head and set the phone down on Napstaton to sign more easily. “I’m ok! Don’t worry! She’s, um, kinda weird but I think I’ll be okay!”

“W-wait, you m-met her? Did she s-seem okay? Has she been eating okay? Is her c-computer still l-looking after her? Does she n-need anything? Does s-she--well, you wouldn’t k-know that ...”

Frisk stared at her and wiggled their fingers nervously, not even sure how to begin answering.

“I MEAN--” Alphys bellowed, then coughed and spoke at a more reasonable volume. “I-I mean, she s-seems like she’s d-doing okay, r-right?”

“She was shouty.”

“S-she can be really l-loud, yeah, eheheh…”

Frisk nodded. “She’s a little scary.”

Sans snorted. “that’s doc, alright. ‘s a good thing, the fear will keep ya alive. it’s good for you, bud.”

Alphys laughed nervously. “Y-you don’t have t-to scare them m-more !!”

Sans grinned wickedly, laughed, and hung up the phone.

<<They’re silly! >> Heady giggled. 

Frisk looked around at some of the things they had nearly tripped over--a pile of tubes, a pair of tall steel high-heeled boots that they very much doubted were Undyne’s, and a pile of crumpled paper. They tried uncrumpling one of the papers, and found a horrible chicken scratch scrawl covering the page. Someone had spilled something tasty smelling on the paper, something that smelled almost like the flowers that grew around Ebott Town.

<<Golden flowers? That’s what they smell like?>>

<<Yeah! My, uh, deadname, actually meant golden flower. My parents named me it because they were slow getting to the hospital, and my mom went into labor in the middle of the golden flower field in the park.>>

<<Oh…>> Heady spoke slowly, thinking something through. <<That’s nice.>>

Frisk shifted their attention to what was written on the paper, squinting and tilting it to make out a few words. “Maximum power…… energy, I think… a future to… SOULs were meant to…”

<<What’s she studying?! >>

Heady thought about it. <<That quiz had lots of questions about SOULs… she must study SOUL magic.>>

<<So… you can be a doctor of SOUL magic? Like a therapist or a nutritionist or an orthodontist, but for SOULs?>>

<<I think more like a scientist or an inventor. She probably made the SOUL inside Napstaton!>>

<<Maybe that’s why she wanted to take my SOUL… so she could study how to break the barrier…>> Frisk frowned. <<Well, I hope she learns to be ok with studying it while I’m alive, after I make it to the Queen.>>

They carefully re-crumpled the paper and put it back with the others.

Next they carefully explored up an escalator to a loft. This loft was a disaster area--a mattress was shoved to one side with a set of sheets half on and half off it, a reading lamp with a bare bulb was clipped to a hole in the wall that had strange scorch marks lining it, and a bookshelf sagged against one wall with books crammed onto it backwards. The floor was strewn with various items, all in various states of disrepair--tank tops, jeans, bits of gadgets, books, pencils and pens, blueprints, knitting needles and yarn, a deck of cards, a whittling knife lodged in a chunk of wood. Against the far wall was the centerpiece of the room, the only thing that appeared not just undamaged but well taken care of--a baby grand piano, polished until it shone. 

<<A piano? >>

Heady giggled. <<I know, she seems like she’d play the drums!!>>

There was a stack of things on a low table. They picked one up. <<“Freeze-dried space spaghetti”???>>

<<What would that even taste like?>> Frisk shoved it into their inventory. <<Well, I guess I’ll find out!>>

Frisk was too scared to try to pick their way across the floor with their stick, so they turned around and rode the escalator back down. The rest of the lab was closed off by two sets of heavy metal doors--Frisk peeked through them and saw complex experiments set up, each with a big box like Napstaton at the center. The only other doors were a toilet door with a simplified image of a female monster that looked a lot like Undyne on it, and the exit, another sliding door to which they now hurried.

It was sweltering outside the lab. The ground was covered in a fine layer of gritty orange gravel, marking out a path over the cliffs that ran above pools of magma. In the distance, through the heat haze, they saw other cliffs, with buildings on them, a mix of antiseptically clean labs and grungy twists of pipes and vents.

<<That’s part of the power system of the Underground! The pipes hold the raw magic going in and out of the CORE. The CORE heats the magic and re-energizes it so it can be infused into food, and the waste material heats water to create geothermal energy! The magic comes from deposits of de-energized magic waste in the Underground. They build up wherever monsters live for long enough! I did a school project on it, the year before I died.>> He rambled on about the CORE for awhile, with Frisk encouraging him partly just to hear the excitement in his voice.

<<So, it’s completely clean? All the waste is used in the process?>>

<<Uh, yeah? It’d just be irresponsible not to use every part of the stuff that’s produced.>>

Frisk stared at the pipes with new appreciation. <<On the surface, mostly, they just burn coal, and it makes lots of stuff like carbon dioxide and smog and toxic waste.>>

<<What’s a carbon dioxide?>>

Frisk tried to remember what they’d learned in school on the topic. <<Some kind of gross gas that ruins the environment.>>

<<Oh. Ew.>> Heady frowned. <<No wonder Ch--!!>>

<<Huh?>>

<<N-nothing… M-my sibling just, um, always said humans were so gross and awful. I g-guess that’s why?>>

Frisk frowned. <<Your sibling knew about what humans were like? I thought-->>

<<Nevermind. I… I don’t want to talk about them right now.>>

They shrugged. He could be so weird sometimes. <<Okay!>>

The path ran up to a complex conveyor belt system, which seemed to be transporting a number of monsters to various other cliffs. There were no markings on the belts, so they stepped up to one of the monsters surveying--who seemed to be an airplane wearing a bow--and tapped them on the wing gently to get their attention. Immediately the world blacked out around them, and they saw their SOUL in front of them as a FIGHT began. <<Darn it!>>

<<TSUNDERPLANE bumps into you, but not on purpose or anything!>>

The plane looked at them and sniffed. “B-bakka!”

Frisk flinched. <<Wait, it… it likes me? Oh my G-d, what do I-->>

<<How do you know?>>

<<Remember when I told you about tsunderes? This plane is acting like one, which means it likes me, which-->>

<<Whoah, whoah, it’s a grown-up! That’s not cool! Let’s just ask how we get to the castle and run!>>

Frisk’s brow furrowed. <<It’ll catch us.>>

<<N-not if we get on the conveyors!>>

<<But won’t it be angry?>>

<<We can get away and hide!>>

<<But if we run away and it catches us it’ll be even angrier! It might hurt us!>>

Tsunderplane was starting to look impatient with Frisk and they sweated as Heady stuttered on. <<What do we do then? A-adults shouldn’t-->>

A thought hit Frisk, and they clawed their phone out of their pocket, opened it, signed out the Shema, and hit a big red button at random.

Undyne’s face popped up on the screen, sweating and startled. “Nerd? You’re being attacked already?” She pulled a face. “Well, we can’t have that. HEY! THAT HUMAN’S UNDER SCIENTIFIC PROTECTION!”

“D-doctor Undyne? Eh? W-what are you--”

“BACK OFF EM!” Undyne snarled, showing more teeth than Frisk could count.

“Huh? Y-you sicko!!”

Heady spluttered. <<Does it think she’s trying to hit on you? B-but-- wait, but, what ?>>

“YOU HEARD ME. GO FIND SOMEONE ELSE TO CREEP OUT, PUNK.”

Tsunderplane jetted away with a “Hmph!”

“Geez, I would’ve thought it’d know better than to pick on a human kid! That’s just--” Undyne shook her head. “All good, punk? Ready to face off again?”

Frisk wiggled their fingers. “Can you tell me which conveyor belt to go on?”

“Left.”

“Thanks!” Frisk hung up the phone, then paused.

<<What if she lied to me?>>

Heady drew up short. <<To trick you? As part of the challenge?>>

They opened the phone again. Sans picked up on the last ring, as they’d come to expect. “heya, babybones.”

“H-hiya!!”

Frisk wiggled their fingers nervously. “I’m at this big junction of conveyor belts, and I don’t know which one leads to the right way to the castle.”

Alphys frowned. “I always g-get l-l-lost in Hotlands. I-it’s like a b-big maze! U-undyne knows t-the way t-t-to get through it, b-but she hates t-to leave her lab. U-usually I just c-call her a-and ask, b-but I d-don’t like t-t-to bother her t-too much, e-even though, u-um, w-well. I m-mean, she always s-says she l-loves helping m-me out, b-b-but I t-think she j-just says it to b-be nice. A-and sometimes I c-call and h-her computer j-just p-picks up a-a-and s-says she’s n-not feeling well, b-but I’m w-worried it m-might be because she’s a-angry…”

Sans put a mittened hand on her head gently. “alph, don’t fret about it right now, ‘kay? but, uh, kiddo, i don’t know much about hotlands either. i think you’re best off goin’ with your gut--i’d tell you what mine says, but i don’t have ‘em. good luck out there, though.”

Frisk frowned at the phone. <<I guess we go left, then.>>

Chapter Text

<<Left it is!>>

They stepped onto the left conveyor belt and whizzed across it, stunned by the incredible speed of the mechanism. The belt deposited them on a tiny embankment, part of a small archipelago of cliffs over the lava.

Frisk stared at the death drop. There was no way back--the conveyor belt ran one way only, and was too fast to even consider running against. <<Oh no…>>

<<Don’t worry, Frisk! See that arrow on the ground? That marks a vent jump! The magically charged steam from the CORE will buffet you to the landing pad it points at. These used to be so fun !! Well, if you weren’t wearing robes, because then everyone could see if you had rocket ships on your undies. But you’re wearing pants, so no one will know if you do or not!>>

Frisk took this in for a second. They were pretty sure that whether or not people knew what kind of undies they were wearing was less important than whether or not they burned to a crisp in the lava below. <<Is it safe?>>

<<Yeah! I used to play around on them when I was little, and as long as there’s no roughhousing, you’re okay!>> As if he’d just noted Frisk’s skepticism, he continued, <<And there’s a SAVE point right there, so we won’t get sent back too far if we do die.>>

Frisk walked up to it with some relief, still not entirely convinced by being thrown from cliff to cliff by vents.

<<The power of steam and cogs shines within you! (Not the electricity or magic, though, because that has to stay in the pipes...) ❤️Determination/Magic? File Saved.>>

Frisk set their jaw and stepped up to the vent. A blast of steam enveloped them, and they felt themself flying as though weightless into the air before tumbling down again gently, landing on their feet on the landing pad. Frisk breathlessly signed a bracha for new and amazing experiences and raced up to the next one to do it again.

<<Hee-hee!!! I told you the vents were great!>>

Frisk giggled. Here, the path split, so they ran to the right vent first, which led to a long, skinny, gravel path. With a burst of steam, they landed safely on the path, then ran down it. It ran a few feet before two sets of conveyor belts, linking up two small islands to the main path, ran into it. The conveyor belts ran the wrong way for Frisk to run on, but a steam vent offered transportation out to one island and then the other in turn, the arrow blinking back and forth. 

Frisk took a running jump onto the arrow, planting their stick underneath them as their feet hit only to be lofted back into the air, free hand flapping happily. They landed and jumped in a tight circle, grinning and flapping. <<You’re right, this is so fun!!>>

Some kind of metal handle was sticking out a pile of gravel that seemed to have once been the path, and Frisk knelt down to grab it, carefully covering their hand with the sleeves of their hoodie in case the handle was hot. A sharp tug uncovered it--a heavy cast-iron frying pan, singed and burnt as if it had seen a lot of use.

<<Whoah, that would be a great weapon! When I was little, I had a story about this hero who used a frying pan as a weapon because it made food heal xer more! Xe cooked the food and ate it right on the battlefield, it was the coolest thing.>>

<<That would be cool! But, um…>> Frisk winced. <<I still need my stick.>>

<<Right… Okay! We can keep it in reserve in case we need it, then! We just have to equip it in a fight and unequip it afterwards. I-if you think that’s okay, I mean. I don’t want to pressure you-->>

<<Heady.>> Frisk frowned. <<That’s brilliant. Why are you so worried about it?>>

<<Well, I d-don’t want to push you, or f-force you-->>

<<You’re not! You’re just giving me good advice. Didn’t you say that was part of your job?>>

<<Oh. W-well, I guess I can help more, then, if that’s what you w-want. Just d-don’t feel like you have to do my plans, okay?>>

Frisk nodded solemnly, put the frying pan in their inventory, and stepped onto the conveyor belt. They spent a few minutes playing on the vents, jumping onto one of the islands and whizzing back on the conveyor belt, before they backtracked to the split in the path, and this time, went left. Their phone started ringing immediately as they passed through an archway to a long bridge over a magma lake.

They picked it up, and Doctor Undyne’s face filled the screen. “Hey punk!! Ready for my first attack? These lasers are one of my finest accomplishments. Behold, the Thaumaturgic Radiating Attack Producer!”

Frisk frowned. “Is the acronym ‘TRAP’?”

Undyne threw her head back and laughed. “FUHUHU!!! You’re very perceptive, aren’t you? Yes! The trap I’ve set for you is quite literally my T-R-A-P lasers. They emanate SOUL magic attacks, so be prepared. This is the magic that got me my doctorate, fuhuhu, I don’t imagine some punk like you will get through so easily.”

Napstaton’s voice was barely audible, though Frisk couldn’t tell where they were. “did you tell them how the different color magic attacks work yet…….?”

“Huh? What?” Undyne shook her head. “Oh, right. Cyan means freeze in place! I’m sure Sans and Papyrus put you through your fair share of those sort of attacks, but here’s your reminder. And for orange magic attacks, you run right through! Hesitate, and they’ll tear you to bits!”

The room suddenly was lit by nine beams of light, some cyan and some orange. 

“Alright, what are you waiting for, punk?”

Frisk gripped their phone and plunged through the first two orange lasers, then froze as a blue one swept its way towards them. They could hear Napstaton saying something, and strained their ears to make out his words.

“don’t take this the wrong way but…… you’re the worst at phone calls…….you literally never know what to say…….”

“HEY!” Undyne shouted. “I was INTERESTED in what the weather was like in Waterfall. The meteorology of the Underground is--it’s interesting! It’s exciting! How dare you imply that wasn’t why I called up Alphys in the first place!”

“...i didn’t mention alphys. you did…… almost like you have a crush on her… wow…”

“Shut UP!” There were a handful of crashes from the phone, and Frisk dashed past an orange laser and froze in the path of another blue one.

“wow… good thing you literally built me indestructible…… i would’ve almost had the energy to be offended…..”

“You’re so apathetic ! C’mon, get off your ass and be mad at me, then. I’d be impressed!”

“you said ‘ass’ in front of the human………”

Undyne yelped in indignation as Frisk tumbled past the last laser. “You’re still on the line?!?”

Frisk blushed. “You were having an interesting argument!”

“You HEARD that?? Oh my GOD!!!”

“Sorry--!”

“Well!! I hope you agree with me! About meteorology! Bye!!!” Undyne hung up, leaving Frisk staring at their phone.

There was a button on the wall labeled “OFF”, and Frisk tapped it. The lasers deactivated with a hiss, and they breathed a sigh of relief.

<<I wonder what Alphys thought about that phone call, then.>> Frisk frowned.

<< I think she likes Undyne back,>> Heady said with an air of self-assuredness.

Frisk giggled. <<They’re both really scary, and kinda silly. I think they could be good girlfriends.>>

Heady laughed too, and Frisk pulled out their phone. <<I’m gonna call them and see how Alphys feels about Undyne calling her and asking about the weather!>>

Sans picked up on the last ring. “heya, babybones. how’s it hangin?”

“Good, thank you!” Frisk grinned. “I have a question for Alphys.”

Alphys’ head came into view, pushing Sans out of the way. “U-um, what’s up?”

“Remember when Undyne called you to ask about the weather?” Frisk signed mischievously.

Alphys immediately blushed. “Y-y-yeah, um, m-my claws shook s-so much, eheheh. I a-always thought it w-was a l-little odd, because we d-d-don’t have weather d-down here, r-really. O-or at least I t-thought we d-didn’t!! B-but she’s so much c-cleverer than me, I’m s-sure she’d know a-all about m-meteorology. Eheheh…”

“alph, alph, don’t put yourself down.” Sans put a hand comfortingly on Alphys’ shoulder. 

“W-well it’s t-true! S-she has two d-d-doctorates, a-and I barely g-got my GED l-last year!”

“but you’re brilliant in the forge, and at solving all those cold cases, and at video games. you just don’t happen to be into meteorology. but, i mean, who is?”

“U-undyne is.”

Frisk noticed Sans rolling his eyelights. “Mhm.”

Frisk shook their head. Clearly it wasn’t their business telling their friend how uninterested in meteorology Undyne probably actually was. “It’s okay! I don’t know anything about meteorology either.” They had to spell out the unfamiliar sign.

Alphys shrugged. “W-well, you c-can tell Undyne t-that when I was in Waterfall e-earlier today, it w-was still r-rainy. Or, w-well, the r-roof drips, w-which is b-b-basically the same thing.”

Frisk nodded, and shut their phone.

<<Why didn’t you tell her?>>

Frisk frowned. <<She already knows, she just doesn’t get it yet. She should take her time figuring it out.>>

<<How do you know she knows?>>

<<Because she figured out there wasn’t any weather in the Underground too.>>

They continued along the path only a few feet before running into another grey box just like Napstaton. It booted up, and they saw it was Napstaton, running the same program and speaking in the same weary drawl.

“undyne’s reactivated some puzzles that got taken down because they were… slowing progress a bit too much… well…… that’s… the nice way to put it at least…… but… no holds barred, i guess… you’ll want to go right first. i can hack the puzzles to be less dangerous, but… i can only hold down one at a time… not that my brain isn’t the size of a planet… i just… can’t be bothered to reboot some of my more apathetic processors… especially because… you can just… do one at a time… right…? i mean… if it’s too much of a bother… i’ll see what i can do… if you want…”

Frisk shook their head quickly. “No no no! It’s alright if you only hold down one at a time, how could I be in two places at once?”

“alright then…”

Frisk smiled. “Thank you for helping me!!”

“don’t mention it……”

Chapter Text

Frisk took the steam vent to their right, giggling as it deposited them safely on the landing pad. Two monsters were slouched against the wall of a tower, one a green cow-headed monster and one who seemed to be made of living smoke. Both of them had coffee cups, which they regarded despondently, and both wore pastel purple lab coats with little delta runes and lab goggles on their foreheads. Frisk waved shyly to them, and the cow-headed one almost sat up.

“Our coworker is trying the puzzle inside the roooooom.” They had a strange, lowing voice. “But we don’t really want to mooove on and go to work yet.”

The one made of smoke coughed slightly and spoke in a raspy voice. “We’re going to tell Doctor Undyne we were caught on the other side.”

Frisk frowned. “Are you guys just… slacking off, or…?”

“Well, we are slacking off, but we figured that because she was going to be pissed that we were late anyway, we might as well take a proper break.”

“All these puzzles should’ve been off tooooo. I thought the Queen said they were tooooo tough to be of any uuuuuse.” The cow monster drained their coffee. “Why don’t youuuuuu give a try to help people get throuuuuugh? I’m sure Foxy could uuuuuse a young mind like youuuuu on the issue.”

Frisk shrugged. This had to be the puzzle they were supposed to do, so why not? “Sure.”

Inside, what looked like the head of a fox was having a meltdown. The coworker of the other two scientists was wearing big, chunky, headphones, and black sunglasses, and they were rocking back and forth on top of a crumpled-up lab coat and crying.

Frisk knelt down gently next to them and signed carefully. “Can you tell me what’s wrong?”

Foxy sniffed and started rocking side to side instead of back and forth. “This puzzle? Is awful? I’ve been trying for hours? And my coworkers aren’t helping? And I’m frustrated? And angry? I just wanted to help people get through? And this whole place is so dusty? And horrible to touch? And I’m overstimulated now?” Their voice was oddly lilting, with strange emphases on words.

Frisk thought about what their rabbi would tell them. “It sounds like you need to take a break.”

“My coworkers said that? And they never came back? So now I have to solve it? Because they won’t?”

“Right now you need to take a break, though. Otherwise you’ll just keep being overstimulated and upset. Can you take some time to cool off?”

“I wish I could? I just? Really don’t want anyone? To be blocked out of their job? Like we were?”

“I’ll take care of the puzzle, don’t worry!”

“Would you? That would be? Amazing?”

“Do you need help getting out, or can you do it on your own?”

“Don’t worry? I’ve got it?” The monster hopped into the air, dragging their lab coat behind them. They reached the door after a few hops, and Frisk turned their attention to the screen.

“Shoot the opposing ship!”

A controller for some sort of old video game was on a little table, and Frisk picked it up. The controls were pretty clear--the directional buttons slid the boxes around on the screen, and the big circular button on the controller fired. Frisk slid the boxes so only one was in their way, then fired twice. Pew, pew! The icon of the opposing ship split and blew up in a small photorealistic explosion. Frisk made a big show of dusting their hands, grinning wide.

<<You’re so clever!!!>>

<<I like puzzles.>> Frisk started walking back towards the door with a decisive plant of their stick on the tiles. <<They make sense.>>

The slacking scientists greeted them with astonishment. “How did you dooooooooo it?”

“Heh, that’s so kind of you to do it for us.”

Frisk shrugged. “I was headed that way anyway,” they signed.

The smoke monster made a noise that was either a hacking cough or a sympathetic laugh. “Hope you’re not set on making it to New Home by dusk. All of those puzzles that Doctor Undyne set up that got relegated to emergency status are back up. I’ve yet to hear anything about the emergency, though. D’ya think that Cap’n Alphys finally went dust-mad, with all that LV of hers?”

“Wasn’t that skeleton supposed toooo keep an eye on it?”

“She was stalking around Waterfall all day yesterday from what I heard…” the smoky one contributed.

<<HEY!>>

Frisk clenched their fists and slowly uncurled them. Their signs came out sharp and furious. “She’s NOT dust-mad, whatever that means. I saw her just this morning and she was fine . Maybe you guys should think before being mean.”

“It’s not mean if it’s truuuuuue,” lowed the cow monster.

“I just told you it’s not true! And besides, it is mean to gossip about people. It’s called lashon hara and it’s literally--” they clenched and unclenched their fingers, looking for a suitable word. “My rabbi says it’s like a spear with three heads that stabs three different people at once just by saying mean things!”

The smoke monster coughed bitterly. “How’s that worse than a crossbow bolt in the head, kid? Face it, the Captain’s bad news. It isn’t hurting anyone to tell you she’s--”

All of them jumped as Frisk’s phone rang. They opened it up instinctually, and Undyne’s face popped up on the screen, fins flared and eye glaring.

“PUNK! Are these lazy slackers bothering you?”

Frisk looked guiltily at the phone. “I think I’m bothering them more, because I told them not to be mean to Captain Alphys.”

Undyne took a deep breath, clearly trying to hold down her anger--and failing. “GET BACK TO THE LAB, BOTH OF YOU. You f-- d-- g-- lazy assholes , hanging around and gossiping, I bet you aren’t even looking after Foxy! Where is xe? D-- f-- NGAHHH!!!” She waved her hands emphatically. “If I don’t see you in the lab in ten minutes , I’ll-- I-- Just be there!!! And stop being cruel, and--” she broke off, panting, eye wild. “You don’t even know the Captain, so do me a favor and just-- just-- shut up about her!”

Frisk winced as the two lab assistants ran off, Foxy guiltily bouncing along behind.

“Sorry you had to see that, punk. I hope they do come on time, it’s a nightmare to keep replacing lab assistants. Everyone’s always like “oh we don’t wanna work with the shouty one” I don’t SHOUT if you’re not a BI-- UM.” She shut her mouth guiltily. “Can you pretend I didn’t just nearly say a really bad word? Napstaton would have my scales…”

Frisk grinned. “What bad word?”

“Good kid. Now go try the other puzzles so I can kill you and take your SOUL, kay? I haven’t slept in like three days and I gotta wrap this up before Paps gets it into his mind to make me take a nap.”

Frisk was about to reply when Undyne looked over her shoulder and suddenly hung up.

<<She’s WEIRD.>>

Frisk nodded. <<I don’t know what her deal is!! Is she killing us or protecting us?>>

<<Don’t ask me!>>

<<Maybe she’s trying to get Sans’ attention by killing us, since he used to be really into killing us too?>>

<<I think she could just ask Alphys to ask Sans, though. Maybe Napstaton’s SECRETLY EVIL, and she’s trying to show us she’s on our side but actually on our side and not secretly going to betray us, and-->>

<<I think that only happens in books, Heady.>> Frisk smiled, amused by the thought. <<Normally, when grownups are mean, it’s not because they’re secretly nice. They just pretend it is.>>

<<Why?>>

<<Tax benefits, probably.>>

Heady frowned. <<I guess…>>

<<I think we just have to find out whether she’s evil by looking at what she does. I don’t think we can say right now.>>

With that, Frisk planted their stick and walked back across the way. The other puzzle was blocked off by a blue laser that didn’t move, and Frisk stared at it, unsure how to get through. 

<<Are we trapped?>>

Frisk thought about it, then backtracked across the vent to Napstaton. “Um, excuse me, Mx. Napstaton, but there’s a blue laser in the way of the other puzzle, can you get it out of the way for me please? Thank you!”

Napstaton looked at them. “...i can, i guess… i can’t believe she turned that one on… there’s no way to solve the puzzle with it on…… unless that was the point… anyway… it should be clear now…” A slight red tint appeared on the sides of their screen. “thank you for being so nice……”

Frisk nodded. “Of course!”

They rushed back into the other room and quickly defeated the puzzle, then dashed back into the central room to see a huge pair of stone doors rumble open. The doors came to a halt with an audible click as several glyphs lit up on their faces.

<<Wow…>>

Frisk followed the passageway over the lava until it took a right-angle turn to their right and led out on a path of connected steam vents over tiny islands barely big enough for a single vent and landing pad combination.

They thought to call Sans and Alphys then, before they took the one-way vent chain that lead farther than they could quite make out. 

“aw, hey babybones! i was just gonna call you, you’re just in time for napstaton’s science show if you take the duke’s ship down. i love that box, they’re always so stern and scientific but you can just see them trying not to laugh. i miss seeing them around the lab, i used to be there all the time, but…” He let the sentence dangle.

“I-I- I think the best part of the s-science show is when Undyne a-acts as their l-lab assistant.”

“‘course you do, alph.” Sans smirked.

“Well-- I-- I-it’s FUNNY! She’s so s-salty about being o-ordered around to get the materials a-and all, s-so they started hiding them b-behind puzzles. S-sometimes she does t-these crazy physical s-stunts to just g-g-get past them, she’s r-r-really f-fit considering s-she hardly e-ever leaves the lab, and, w-well, t-then when it blows up in e-everyone’s faces s-sometimes she just s-starts laughing l-like it’s all a b-big j-joke! S-she just t-takes it in s-stride!”

“yeah, she did that when she lost her eye too.” Sans rolled his eyelights.

“S-Sans! You can’t b-b-be bitter about t-that! J-just because s-she got l-lucky enough n-not to have m-mental health c-complications, d-d-doesn’t mean she’s a-acting b-b-better than you because y-you were d-depressed a-afterwards.”

“alph, with all due respect, i can be bitter about whatever i want.”

Frisk butted in before it turned into an argument. “What kind of science do they do on the show?”

“a little bit of a bunch of things. apparently they got the idea from this human show called mythbusters that undyne and napstaton watched together. they just blow things up pretty often.”

“Sure, I’ll watch with you guys!” Frisk rushed towards the double doors, only to find it shut, without even so much as a handle.

<<WHAT?!>>

<<Oh no…>> Frisk shook their head. “Well, um, I’m kind of trapped, so go ahead and watch without me!”

“T-trapped?”

“Don’t worry about it!” Frisk hung up the phone with a CLAT.

<<We should go.>> Frisk set off as fast as they could.

<<Oh boy… Well, whatever your plan is, I’m with you!>>

Frisk almost thought that they felt a deep sorrow from him as they were buffeted across the vents. Why that would be, though, they had no idea.

Chapter Text

Frisk tumbled onto a landing pad in a pitch black room. They felt ahead of them with their stick as they walked, free hand nervously using their hoodie pull to stim. Suddenly, a low, robotic, voice called out to them.

“ready, human…? lights… camera… science!”

The lights went up all at once, and Frisk winced at the brightness. When the spots cleared from their vision, they found themself in the middle of a clean, bright, lab, with several tall cabinets and long steel tables. Next to them was a big steel box, the source of the voice that they now recognized as Napstaton’s.

“Good morning ladies, gentlemen, and those of us who know better, and welcome back to Puzzlebusters. Today, i’m coming at you from the hotlands lab with a celebrity assistant--this young human is going to be helping me out.”

Frisk waved nervously, unsure where to look and anxious to be free.

“For everyone who’s new here to Puzzlebusters, this is the channel where I, NAPSTAton, teach you scientific concepts by constructing our viewers’ puzzle idea. If you are under the age of maturity, and you want to suggest a puzzle, drop us a comment with your idea and if you’re picked, we will try our best to make it, with SCIENCE. Now, our puzzle for this video was sent in by Noelle, from Snowdin. Congratulations, Noelle.”

Canned applause rattled out of the box. 

“Noelle sends in, ‘What about a puzzle where you have to combine chemicals to make a door open?’ We’ve done lots of work with chemicals before, but I don’t ever think we’ve had to use a reaction to move a door specifically. Now, doors have several properties: they can be made of many different materials, they tend to be unreactive, and they swing on a hinge. Most hinges move in one direction, and they can lock. Just so it’s impossible to kick this puzzle door open, we’re gonna have it swing in our direction. Human, take a kick at that door--pretty immovable, right?”

Frisk obediently walked into the spotlight around the only exit, a steel door, and, balancing themself on their stick, kicked it with their good leg. They yelped immediately. It felt exactly as they’d expected kicking a steel door would.

“Exactly. No getting out, except by solving the puzzle. Now take a look here at this tube. What we’ve got here is an iron pipe with a hole bored in it, and at the top inside it, we’ve got a little steel plate with a rod going up from the center. This is what we call a piston.” As Napstaton spoke, images flashed on their screen. “When we raise this plate, it pushes the rod up. Raise the rod, and the mechanism it’s attached to will raise too. In this case, that’s the bolt that keeps this door closed. Once we fill the pipe, the plate will raise and the bolt will unlatch, and my assistant here can open the door.”

Frisk nodded. This sounded like a simple puzzle. 

“But... The hole in this pipe is only halfway up. We need to fill the pipe with chemicals that will react and create a gas, then cover the hole until the piston has moved.”

...Less simple, then.

Frisk looked where the spotlight was now focused--a jar of white crystals that looked a little like salt, on the other side of a complex, multi-level, maze of hollowed-out file cabinets. They stared at it mistrustfully as Napstaton spoke, their whole mind focused on how to just solve the puzzle and get out.

“My assistant will now receive the pentaerythritol tetranitrate! As usual, don’t try this at home, kids, these chemicals should only be handled in a lab environment under the watchful eye of a professional. Now put on some protective gear, and go get em!”

Frisk looked at the maze, then down at their stick. It was much too tall to fit into the maze, and they didn’t trust themself to crawl through the maze of hollowed-out cabinets without it, so after putting on goggles, gloves, and an apron, they rushed over to a shelf that was full of magnets. They wasted no time using their bandanna to tie a big magnet to their stick, then used the long laces of their sneakers to tie a magnet to each of their feet. Finally, they ran back to the cabinet maze and stuck their magnet stick as high up as they could. They tugged on it, but the supermagnet held steady, so they swung up their good leg as high as they could and let the magnet hold them against the outside of the maze. They pulled up their weak leg next, bracing it against the cabinet side too. Bit by bit, they climbed the maze, until they could sit on top of the whole stack for an instant with their feet swinging, the bottle of crystals in their hands. Then, slowly, they clambered down the same way, their precious treasure safely in their hoodie pocket. They presented it to Napstaton.

“Amazing! Use a graduated cylinder on the triple beam balance to measure out 100 grams of pentaerythritol tetranitrate.”

Napstaton talked them through the operation of a triple beam balance, then introduced the calcium oxide, which was in a bottle in a balloon far above them. Pop the balloon, they informed Frisk, and the bottle would fall and shatter.

Frisk thought about it, then clicked a wide metal pan that seemed to be used for evaporating solutions onto the magnet that was still tied to their stick. They stripped out of their hoodie, leaving them in their t-shirt and tallit katan . Then they draped the sweater over the pan and tied it to their stick. They stepped up on the ledge of the maze entrance to get a few more critical inches, then swung their good leg up as far as they could and clicked the magnet against the maze wall and managed to scrabble up to standing, sort of, pressed against the metal. They raised their stick until they felt the balloon, then pushed it upwards. The balloon popped with a startling BANG , and the bottle dropped safely onto their hoodie. They lowered the whole contraption reverently back to eye level and slowly worked their way down to the floor again. At last, they deconstructed their contraption and used their stick normally to walk back to Napstaton.

After watching them carefully add calcium oxide to the pipe, Napstaton told them there was only one ingredient left--dihydrogen monoxide.

Frisk frowned. “That’s water.”

“Exactly.” While Napstaton explained about how many things reacted with water, Frisk wondered what kind of special hell they’d have to go through to reach it.

Napstaton indicated a beaker and a graduated cylinder on a table, and a strangely distant tap over a drain. “This puzzle requires a little instruction. The big graduated cylinder is magnetically fixed in place, and empties into a chamber in the table. The beaker is just a regular beaker. Once you get the 2000mL graduated cylinder full, it’ll weigh enough to push down the little platform and cover the hole, and the platform will demagnetize so you can pour some into our puzzle. But you’ll have to be fast with that beaker. Ready?”

Frisk bit their lip. ‘Fast’ was not their strong suit, but they nodded, gripping their stick. They had no other option, they had to do this. So they would.

They bolted with the beaker down to the tap, and turned it on, hissing as the water splashed over their hands and sent them nearly directly into sensory meltdown. As soon as it was full, they ran back and dumped it in. Back and forth they ran, each time slopping a little more water into the cylinder. Their sneakers got soaked, their hoodie spattered, but they kept going until finally, finally, it was full. There was a click, and they picked up the cylinder.

“Good job! Pour some water into the pipe.”

Frisk took a step towards the pipe, and immediately flinched as their phone went off. Initially, they planned to ignore it, but it got louder and louder, and finally they relented, set down the water, and answered the phone.

Undyne seemed out of breath. “STOP! Stop, stop, stop!”

Frisk frowned at her. “Huh?”

“It’s a trap! If you add that water, you’ll be blown sky high. Listen, just--” She scowled and gestured sharply. “Forget the water. Pull the door, I’ll unlock it. I-- You haven’t won, okay? Don’t think this is all I have up my sleeves, it’s just… nevermind. Nevermind! Just go pull the door for me, ‘kay? And, uh, sorry, Noelle. We’ll do that puzzle for you for real in the next episode.”

And with that, she hung up.

Napstaton stared wordlessly at them as they walked up to the door and opened it, then carefully put back the lab’s equipment and walked out. From behind them, they finally heard a despondent “guess that’s all for today, folks. don’t forget to like and subscribe, and remember to leave your puzzle ideas in the description.”

Chapter Text

Frisk spotted a SAVE point and kept walking towards it.

<<The power of your clever escape from that trap shines within you! ❤️Determination/Magic? File Saved.>>

<<...>> Frisk pressed forwards, barely sparing a glance to either side.

<<Frisk, are you okay?>>

They startled. <<Huh?>>

<<You just went totally silent back there.>>

Frisk frowned. <<I had to focus on getting everything right.>>

<<No, but. You were gone . You didn’t even notice me saying things.>>

<<...Remember when I ran away in Snowdin?>>

<<Oh.>> Heady thought about this. <<What can I do to help you? It’s scary when that happens.>>

Frisk stared into the distance wishing they could stare at him. <<Why would you want to do that?>>

<<I’m just… I’m not sure you’re okay. And I want you to be okay.>>

They thought about it for a little bit. <<Maybe… if I start just running forward, and running into something really bad, you could stop me? Just… possess me and go somewhere safe and wait for me to calm down.>>

Heady started. <<Frisk, do you really mean that?>>

<<Yes!>> Frisk grabbed the hand on their stick with their free hand. <<I don’t want to scare you, and I don’t want to panic in a really bad situation. I was so focused on solving the puzzle that I never even considered that it might be a trap. I think we need to work together! If you can help me focus, we can get through it together!>>

<<Hm…>> He thought about that for a long while. <<Do you see the CORE there? The castle is just above it, and the royal labs are just below it. I think we should try to get to it.>>

<<What’s it the core of?>>

Heady frowned. <<I don’t really know. You could ask Doctor Undyne, I bet she maintains it.>>

<<But she’s our enemy!>>

<<Yeah, but she’s not mean . Grown-ups love teaching kids about things, right?>>

Frisk’s eyes danced over the lava below. <<...Maybe that’s just your grownups.>>

<<Maybe! You should try calling her, though.>>

Frisk relented, and called Undyne.

“Punk? You having trouble there?” She grimaced. “I mean. Not that I care, because we’re enemies, obviously!! Fuhuhuhu….huh…” She looked out over the scene behind them.

“I was just curious about the CORE!”

“Are you trying to flatter me?”

Frisk blanched. “D… do you want me to? Are you going to get a--”

“Geez, are you a rabbit or a human? You’re as nervous as Al--” Undyne clamped both hands over her mouth. “Shiiiiit. I did not just say that. Disregard that. Please. My enemy.”

Frisk giggled. “Okay nemesis!!! You just said a bad word though, I’ll tell Napstaton…”

“NO!! Please, I’ll never hear the end of it. ‘oh… you curse so much…… are you really that angry around those kids…? i don’t think that’s healthy…’ blah blah blah! I’m not ANGRY! I’m just excited! Words are for using, right?”

Frisk considered this. “My rabbi says we have options so we can choose not to take them.”

Undyne frowned. “Anyway, you wanted to know about the CORE? I have that whole thing wired up like THIS.” She snapped her fingers, the delicate webbing between them making the gesture look strange. “I’ve got the whole thing under my control! Just… uh… don’t ask how it makes the electricity.” She looked over one shoulder guiltily. “You can’t tell anyone this, and I’m just telling you because I’m gonna kill you anyway, but the person who made it didn’t leave ANY notes behind on how it works. I’m flying blind here.”

Frisk grimaced at the metaphor, considering Undyne’s hidden eye.

“No, no, I can still see fine. Trust me. I have the eyes… um, eye… of a predator. But the stuff he left in that safe, none of it was about the CORE. He had… more important things to worry about. And I do too--um, I mean, like killing you. Duh.”

Frisk frowned. “Do you always get this friendly with people you kill?”

Undyne flinched as if struck. “No!!! I mean, I’ve never killed… I’ve never tried to murder anyone before. Alphys would have my hide , human. I’m not a bad fucking monster I just-- I swore again, didn’t I. Oh, fuck all this for a feather off the angel’s wings. Don’t you have some traps to be walking into?!”

She hung up the phone, and Frisk stared at it for a while.

<<Why is she nice?!>>

Heady frowned. <<I think she’s lonely.>>

<<But Alphys takes care of her!>>

<<I knew someone who could be lonely even with someone taking care of them. They didn’t want to be taken care of, so it didn’t work.>>

Frisk started to walk forward as they considered this. <<But if she’s lonely, why wouldn’t she want to be taken care of?>>

<<Maybe she thinks she doesn’t need it. Or maybe she thinks she doesn’t deserve it.>>

Frisk, about to reply, blinked in confusion as they walked straight into a FIGHT.

<<What? Oh! It’s a VULKIN.>>

Frisk giggled. <<Like Spock?>>

<<What kind of monster is a “Spock”?>>

Frisk wiggled their fingers as they thought about how to answer it. <<He’s an alien who’s supposed to be Jewish and gay.>>

Heady didn’t have much to say to that besides a feeling of powerful confusion. <<Humans are weird.>>

Frisk shifted their SOUL to the ACT button.

<<We can encourage it, or hug it, or criticize it.>>

Frisk looked suspiciously at the monster. It was a tiny mountain on spindly legs, with a crater in its peak that spilled real lava over its face.

<<Can you CHECK it?>>

<<Okay!! This is VULKIN, AT 25, DF 0.  Its SOUL trait is perseverance, and… what? No way!! Frisk, this monster killed three other monsters! That can’t be… oh. It doesn’t realize its lava doesn’t heal other monsters.>>

Frisk dodged out of the way as lightning bolts spat towards their SOUL.

<<I think what we need to do is let them know that lava hurts people.>>

<<So… criticize?>>

<<No! They’re not doing anything wrong, they just don’t understand yet. Maybe we can encourage them… to go learn about a better way to help out!>>

Heady projected this, and Frisk helped the projection kneel down and whisper encouragingly to the little monster. 

“Aah! Tries the hardest!”

Frisk nodded and jumped back as Heady warned them about the little volcano’s attack increasing. Balls of fire shot out of the crater of their volcano, and Frisk ducked and dodged almost all of them, taking only a single hit. 

Vulkin’s name showed up in yellow and they paraded happily around it as Frisk spared them, then hurried off.

<<Wow, that little guy is sure speedy.>>

Frisk grinned. <<I hope they figure it out soon. Can you imagine trying to do something nice for someone and show some affection and it ends up hurting them? Poor little guy...>>

<<...>>

<<Heady?>>

<<...>>

Frisk frowned. <<What’s wrong?>>

<<...>>

<<Well, if you want to talk about it, just tell me, okay?>> They kept walking along the cliff edge, looking out at the mass of metal and pipes and wire.

Suddenly the path hooked to the right. A tall elevator shaft stretched into the sky, and separating from it, strangely, was a sideways shaft running back the way they came but over the lava. When they entered, they had two options: the place they were, or the floor directly above. When they selected that floor, the doors rattled closed, and in only seconds they reopened on a different view, one that looked down on the cliff they had come from. They stepped out, and the doors closed behind them.

A strangely familiar face, one they couldn’t quite place, appeared in front of them. This would not normally alarm them quite so much were the face, and the person it belonged to, not made of fire. “Did you remember my name?”

Frisk frowned. “It’s ‘Heats Flamesman’, isn’t it?”

The fire spirit recoiled as if struck. “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! HOW COULD I BE SO EASILY DEFEATEEEEEEEEEED???”

Frisk wiggled their fingers nervously, unsure of what to say.

“I’LL ALWAYS REMEMBER THAT YOU REMEMBERED…….” Heats Flamesman ran up to the edge of the cliff and dived into the lava below with a howl.

Frisk pulled out their phone and called Sans and Alphys.

Chapter Text

“a real fire spirit, huh, babybones?”

“T-that’s weird! Y-you n-n-never see them i-in populated places l-like H-h-hotlands.”

Frisk nodded. “I saw him in Waterfall earlier…”

“Oh…” Alphys sighed. “It’s j-just Heats Flamesman then. H-he always g-gives out h-his Name and then, w-well. W-w-wait!! You d-didn’t g-give him your Name, d-d-did you?”

“No! He was weird, and I didn’t want to talk to him anyway.”

“good. he’s a scammer.” Sans rolled his eyelights. “but he’s not a very good one. i could scam people out of their names better than that. it hardly ever even works.”

“S-sans, you know identity theft is a c-crime, r-right?”

“it’s a lame crime and i don’t care about it.”

“I c-can’t believe you w-want to join the g-guard.”

“justice is important. it’s just that dumb crimes like identity theft are boring.”

“It’s about the p-p-people, S-sans! It’s about p-protecting everyone, e-even from ‘d-d-dumb’ things.”

“it’s about hunting down the people who hurt people and making them pay.”

“M-maybe the g-g-grey guard, b-b-but the royal g-guard is about h-helping people.”

Sans sighed. “it’s not, alph. you’re just too good at it.”

“T-that doesn’t even make any s-s-sense!!!”

Alphys snatched the phone and closed it with a “sorry-about-that” look, and Frisk was alone again, looking out along another set of cliffs. Something red and white was glittering a ways out along the path, so they headed towards it curiously.

On closer inspection, the red and white thing was a food truck, incongrously parked at the side of the road with its counter down and a stereo playing “Be A Man” from the Mulan soundtrack. Two monsters were sitting on the edge of the cliff looking out over the swirling magma--one vulkin, and the other some kind of aquamarine bird wearing a great deal of mascara. Coming from the inside of the food truck was a nasally, off-key, hum that suddenly broke into Papyrus’ singing voice as the song reached the chorus.

Frisk rushed up to the counter and stood on their tiptoes to knock on it, flapping their hands and making Papyrus’ namesign over and over.

“HUMAN! I DIDN’T EXPECT YOU TO MAKE IT HERE SO EARLY! DID UNDYNE SEND YOU TO GET SOME PASTA FOR DINNER?”

Before Frisk could answer, he rushed onwards. “NO NEED TO EXPLAIN. I KNOW JUST WHAT SHE LIKES. AND I THINK YOU’LL LIKE IT TOO! I EVEN MADE IT WITHOUT SEAFOOD, LIKE YOU SAID.” He dropped a large container of steaming pasta onto the counter. “DON’T WORRY ABOUT THE MONEY. DOCTOR UNDYNE AND I HAVE AN UNDERSTANDING! AFTER ALL, SHE TAUGHT ME TO COOK. IF SHE INSISTS YOU TRY TO PAY ME, TELL HER… TELL HER SHE CAN SPOT ME CLEANUP AFTER THE NEXT EXPLOSION AND WE CAN CALL IT EVEN! NYEH HEH HEH!!!”

Frisk obediently put the pasta in their inventory and decided not to tell Papyrus that they and Undyne were not exactly as close as he seemed to think.

“OH! I ALMOST FORGOT. I HAVE TO DOUBLE HER ORDER! OTHERWISE THERE WON’T BE ANY LEFT OVER FOR YOU!!!”

Frisk stared as he vanished back into the interior of the truck. The pasta they had claimed was already enough for two reasonable people, at least if one of them was a kid.

“THERE MIGHT BE A LITTLE LEFT OVER, BUT I THINK YOU’LL FIND THAT A GOOD THING. THIS PROBABLY WON’T BE AS FILLING AS YOU’RE USED TO, HUMAN, SINCE IT CONTAINS A LOT LESS MATTER.”

<<Is he feeding us antimatter?>>

<<No, silly!!>> Heady laughed. <<Monster food is made of magic!>>

Frisk accepted the pasta somewhat dubiously and thanked Papyrus.

“ABSOLUTELY, DAPSOLUTELY, NO PROBLEMO, FRIENDO!!” He laughed. “I LOVE MAKING FOOD FOR PEOPLE! EVERYONE KNOWS IT’S THE BEST WAY TO CHEER SOMEONE RIGHT UP!”

Frisk continued off down the path, grinning. Their phone beeped, and they saw that there was a text message on it reading “Hey punk can you look at something for me”. There was a link, and Frisk tapped on it, wondering what Undyne had sent them and how dangerous it would be. What came up, though, was nothing but a confusing looking chart with a wide variety of anime and video game characters, pride flags, deadly weapons, and paragraphs on paragraphs of analysis, all contained in what seemed to be a number of venn diagram circles around a logic flowchart. 

Their phone beeped again before they could read any of it. “WRONG NUMBER please ignore this”.

<<Huh?>>

Frisk was going to theorize what was going on when their phone beeped a third time. “WAIT you’re human right so you probably know all about this stuff how do my theories look?? ow■”

<<Hee-hee, she put her dark glasses lens in the emoji because she doesn’t have her other eye!!!>>

Frisk zoomed in on one of the pictures and blurbs in a circle labelled “Anachronism”. At random, they picked zoomed-in shot of a sword in a glass case that had lines connecting it to three different characters via a trans flag. The sword had a pale golden blade that was separated from a leather-wrapped handle by a decorative crosspiece--a grey-green goat skull that held the blade with sideways-closing jaws, with short chains running through the eye sockets and into various parts of the skull. The analysis paragraph read “handle looks like it belongs in a creepy sci-fi lab where they experiment on people. really don’t like this sword where does it even fit in the mythos??? transes your gender though. 3/10 color scheme and design feels out of place compared to similar weapons. could be an indication of Technological mythos inspiring works? something like 2522 Swords Of Sky or Mirai no Himitsu Dungeon, possibly as distinctive as FATE//hacker”

Frisk boggled at it. <<I have no idea what she wants me to work on! None of this looks familiar at all.>>

<<It’s a cool sword though! I wonder what it’s called? Maybe something like GONER BLADE or GALACTIA UNSHEATHED.>>

<<I’d call it Shalshelet! >>

<<I bet it steals SOULs!!!>>

Frisk giggled. <<I bet the blade turns into a laser like Star Wars!>>

<<Or it melts your face off!>>

Their phone beeped again. “hey babybones when were you going to tell me you got texting?” The message was in comic sans, which made them snicker. “alphs said to send you this, it looks like she’s pretty close on your tanto . that’s a lovely blade, you have good taste in knives. i mean, it’s no drop point, but it’s a nice knife.” Frisk saved the picture happily to their phone--the blade was clean and sleek, etched with a small lightning bolt, and the handle and crosspiece was laid out in several pieces on a clean, soft looking, cloth so Frisk could see how the pieces went together.  “anyway can you check this out for me?” This was followed by a link that was mostly random letters.

“Is it a rickroll?”

“now who do you take me for? someone who reuses the same joke over and over? please.”

Frisk rolled their eyes and tapped on the link. The image that came up was Sans standing on a street in snowdin, mittened hands clasped in front of his chest with an irreverent smirk on his face. At the very edge of the shot was Papyrus’ hand, tops slid off his fingerless gloves so he could make a ring with his thumb and pointer finger while splaying his other fingers. 

Their phone buzzed. “lmao goteem”, Sans gloated.

<<Ugh…>>

<<He’s so SILLY!!!>>

They decided to ignore it and put their phone away, but they barely made it a few feet before another text made them roll their eyes and pull it out again. “Wait you’re talking to sans? Can you tell him something from me?”

Frisk watched curiously as the phone showed Undyne was typing for several minutes. Eventually, though, when she sent a message, it just said “never mind he probably doesn’t wanna hear it ugh”.

<<Huh?>>

Frisk shook their head. <<I don’t understand her.>>

<<It’s okay! Hey, what’s that over there?>>

Frisk felt a little tug on their head as Heady tried to point something out to them. They ran over to a little outcropping off the path, and crouched down over the thing he’d pointed out. It was a lump of stained white fabric, bundled up as if it had been hurled away by someone running down the path. 

<<What is it?>> They held it up and peered at it curiously.

<<Stained apron, +11DF! This will heal you by 1HP every other turn. I guess it still has a green magic enchantment on it!>>

Frisk stuck their tongue out and licked one of the stains. <<Eggy.>>

<<GROSS!!!>>

Chapter Text

Frisk wiggled out of the tutu and continued back down the main path as they equipped the new piece of armor. They looked down at the apron and admired the way they looked ready to bake challah and rub the spare pastry brush that didn’t go in the egg all over their face to feel the texture. They were so proud of their new equipment that, without thinking, they marched proudly up to a nearby adult--and startled when they turned around with a gasp as if they had seen a mouse.

“02! 02! Get over here! There’s a kid out here!”

The speaker had a high, sweet, voice, with a hint of a cockney accent like a kindly, homeless, mother from a movie Frisk had watched. She was wearing a long black cloak, with a cowl that covered her face; the only features Frisk could see clearly were two long, white-furred rabbit ears that stuck out from the hood. Embroidered on her breast in purple thread was “01”, and below it, her pronouns. A pin shaped like a delta rune closed the cloak, which was trimmed in the same purple thread.

Another figure rushed over, this one dressed in a shining white cloak. Matching purple embroidery decorated it, and a similar pair of ears stuck out from the top, but these ears were bluish purple and floppier, giving the guard a friendly look. “Hullo, darling. Didn’t your folks tell ya not to go out today? School’s cancelled, luv.” Her accent was calming, with a hint of an almost Texan drawl, and Frisk raised their hands to reply.

“I don’t, um, I don’t live in the area,” they signed. Did these monsters really not realize they were human? Or did it not matter to them?

“Oh my, are you looking to stay at the hostel?”

“Well…” Frisk thought about it. Susie might be there, and they wanted to see her again. “I guess?”

The two guards looked down at them. “Why don’t you let us take you over? We can help you get through the puzzles, and--” 01’s offer was cut off by the squawk of two walkie-talkies.

Both guards put a hand to their hood at the base of their ears. “Wotcher.”

There was a bit of a pause, then 02 sucked air through their teeth. “You don’t mean…”

“Well, if the Captain says …”

“She wouldn’t… would she?”

“Who knows? Maybe she’s got her knickers in a twist about a human so close to the royal scientist.”

02 chuckled. “She does seem to put her twist in the Captain’s knickers, if you take my meaning...” Heady snorted at this, and Frisk shooshed him. <<That’s not a nice thing to joke about! Just because they have big crushes on each other…>>

“The human’s right there, I suppose we should try our best to…”

“I suppose you’re right.”

The guards threw back their cloaks in unison, revealing rabbit-like humanoid monsters wearing tough, strong, leather armor the opposite color of their cloaks. On 02’s hips glittered two icy white dirks, while 01 drew two blazing, fiery, butterfly knives from seemingly nowhere. Back to back, both of them gazed at Frisk as the world turned black and white and Frisk’s red SOUL glowed in their hands.

<<We need to CHECK them! Start with 01?>>

<<Royal Guard 01! AT 30 DF 20. Her SOUL trait is kindness, and… she’s killed people, but not in years? Her sister and her have been in the guard for decades, though. She says she’s sorry, but an order is an order.>>

Frisk frowned as they ducked and dodged the slashes of the guards’ knives, moving their SOUL out of the way as the knives slashed back and forth around their SOUL.

<<So the other guard, 02, you said she was sisters with 01?>>

<<Yeah! Do you want me to check her too?>> Heady seemed invigorated by the fight--his voice was full of energy and excitement. <<Okay, Royal Guard 02 has AT 20 and DF 30. Her SOUL trait is justice, and she’s never killed anyone. Huh, that’s odd. She’s really confused about Captain Alphys ordering them to kill anyone, especially a child.>>

<<Wait.>> Frisk nearly got cut by a chilling dirk and winced. << Alphys ordered this?!>>

<<That’s what I saw that she thought, so either it’s true or my CHECK is wrong somehow. But I don’t think a CHECK has ever been wrong before…>>

Frisk bit their lip. <<What can we do?>>

<<Well, we can argue, show off, bluff, and present.>>

<<Those are… interesting options. Hm…>> Frisk put one of the ties of their apron in their mouth and gnawed on it while they thought. <<They seem like okay people, I’m sure we can argue them out of it.>>

But when the projection, gesturing angrily, tried to impress on them that they didn’t need to kill a kid, the sisters just looked at each other guiltily.

“Don’t even think about it, 02. She could court-martial us and have us killed.”

“She’s never done it to anyone… I guess it’s not worth the risk, though.”

Frisk ground their teeth. This was just like Bratty and Catty, jumping to conclusions about what Captain Alphys was like! Well, they knew what she was like now. Alphys wouldn’t betray them like this--she’d made it clear that she hated anyone who would betray a friend like that, especially hurting them while they were already vulnerable.

<<...I have an idea.>>

<<Frisk? What’s your idea?>>

<<What if we used the Show Off ACT to show off that we’re friends with Alphys, instead of showing off what I can do physically?>>

<<But how can we do it?>>

<<Well, we can show them the picture of the tanto Alphys made for us. Surely she wouldn’t do that for just anyone!>>

<<Hmm… let me see if I can do that while fighting… it might be difficult.>> But when Frisk took out their phone, the screen was clearly visible, and Heady told them excitedly that it would be easy for the monsters they were fighting to see as well when they chose it to be. <<Oh! Undyne must have fixed it for you!>>

“Captain Alphys is my friend, actually! She made me this.” The guards took turns peering at the picture when the projection held it out, before jumping back into their back-to-back position.

“Why would she respond like that to a warning about her friend?”

01 flipped her knife thoughtfully. “This isn’t like the Captain at all.”

Frisk twisted out of the way of three of the knives aimed at them, but took a shallow cut across their SOUL from one of 01’s butterfly knives.

<<What if we told them it was all just a drill?>>

<<Great idea! That would be a bluff, right?>>

<<Sure!>> Frisk signed out their idea so the projection could pass it on. “Captain Alphys sent me here as a drill! You guys did a great job, I’ll make sure to tell her you were totally on top of it.”

The two guards looked at each other suspiciously. 

“I told you something was up with this.” 02 picked nervously at the hilt of one of her knives.

“Did you? I mean… you’d be right… Maybe Lord Gaster’s trying to get her to militarize against humans more, that’d be… worrying.”

Their attacks were slower now, more hesitant and with big gaps for Frisk to wiggle their SOUL through. 

Frisk squinted at them as they hemmed and hawed, planning their coup de grace. <<Heady, you said we had the option to “present”? Could we twist it to give a present?>>

Heady giggled. <<Yeah, magic is all about little twists like that! What are you thinking of, though? We don’t have much-->>

Frisk grinned as they thought out their plan.

“Alphys had Undyne arrange for me to get spaghetti for you guys as a reward!” They grinned and pulled out the spaghetti, only to be shocked when the guards recoiled.

“Thanks, but, um…”

“Undyne didn’t make it, did she?”

Frisk giggled. Apparently Undyne was a bad cook? “Don’t worry! Papyrus made it.”

Immediately the guards’ faces softened. 

“Oh, that’s lovely, then!”

“Here, take a seat with us and we’ll have our lunchtime mess break. You can share with us, Papyrus makes lovely pasta!”

01 took out a silver square and flicked her wrist, expanding it deftly into a wide, mylar, picnic blanket. She and her sister settled it on the ground, and, as Frisk brought out the rest of the spaghetti, they took out tin mess kits, setting an extra on the blanket for them. As the three of them ate, they talked happily, Frisk talking in vague terms about their journey from Snowdin to Hotlands, and their sleepover with Alphys. The guards, in turn, were happy to regale them with tales of a younger, wilder, Alphys.

Snowdeep, as 01 had introduced herself, had been the head of the Royal Guard when Alphys first went to the guard. She told a rapt Frisk about the trials new recruits went through, and the way the small, steely-eyed, lizard had fought through them all with stunning strength, putting the other recruits to shame. She was a monster of few words, Snowdeep said, and requested a solo patrol in Waterfall, which she had been scared to grant to such a young monster, but carried it with grace. She was startled, in fact, that Alphys had spoken to a child, let alone invited one to her home--after years, Snowdeep estimated she’d exchanged all of a hundred words with her successor outside of discussions of work. One of the only times the taciturn crossbowman had spoken with her had been before her challenge for the role as Captain of the Guard. Snowdeep had given her a gift for her birthday at the suggestion of the Queen, a kit for etching armor, and Alphys had invited her to the her forge, claiming her house was too messy to be seen. Amidst the warmth of the fire and the clatter of hammers, they talked about why Alphys had joined the guard so young, and what had drawn Snowdeep to being the Captain. A few weeks later, in the mail, Snowdeep received two knives with a powerful fire spell, and a letter warning her of Alphys’ challenge. Unlike most of the letters Snowdeep had received from Alphys, which were curt and businesslike, this one was long and personal, and Snowdeep retrieved a yellowed paper from a pocket of her armor to smile at it.

“She wants the best for monsters, our Captain Alphys. But she went all quiet again a few years ago, we used to be close to each other and now I only see her on the job. She’s worried about someone or something, she is.”

“Mmm, but the Captain always solves her case. Never known it to go any other way, ever since she joined the guard,” Innistra, the other guard, contributed.

Frisk dug a little, curious. “What’s it she’s worried about?”

“We were told to look out for an intruder in Hotlands, around the lab.”

Innistra winced. “I think the Captain got some kind of report? Honestly, I thought you were who we were looking for, I didn’t expect her to run a drill on us…”

Frisk laughed nervously. “Yeah, she startled me with that, too. I didn’t even know you guys were supposed to be on high alert or whatever.”

The two guards laughed. “That’s our Captain, alright. Always keeping secrets.”

“Nothing ever gets past her.”

“Except Doctor Undyne’s crush, of course.”

“Oh, of course.” Frisk giggled. “I should get going, thank you for sharing the pasta with me!”

“Safe travels!”

Chapter Text

The path opened up into a big, cavernous room. Frisk felt around in the blackness with their stick, looking for the edges, but before they could find one, the lights came up.

In the center of the room was a single piano. It was big, and empty, looking like nothing so much as a massive trap. They tentatively approached it, crouching to peer at the legs. The piano had been affixed to the ground by someone who was apparently passionate about having a piano in that location--it would have been easier to grind a slice out of the metal flooring, peel it up, and probably take a fair chunk of the cliff below just to move it without somehow freeing the piano from the welding, bolts, screws, nails, and what seemed to be strange new colors of gorilla glue affixing it to the floor. 

Their phone rang. <<Oh, of course. Who else would’ve done that to a poor piano?>>

Undyne grinned toothily at them when they picked up. “Okay! I’m back in commission, and ready to unleash the next puzzle Napstaton and I have worked up for you. Fuhuhuhuwahahaha!!!”

Frisk held back a giggle. <<Is that an evil laugh?>>

“Behold!!! The terrifying PIANO PUZZLE.” She reached out of the view of their phone camera, and a spotlight blazed down on the piano. Several cannons disgorged twenty pounds of glitter and streamers into the room. “Uh. The TERRIFYING piano puzzle.”

“sorry… still had the unveiling presets loaded. can we try that again… or is that too much of an issue… i can just…” The spotlight clicked off again, and Frisk watch Undyne stare expectantly at the screen. “go ahead with your monologue… i guess…”

Undyne cleared her throat. “As I was saying! Nemesis! THIS is the TERRIFYING piano puzzle.” She reached out of view again, and the room lights clicked back off as a bloodred spotlight illuminated the piano. Gouts of blue flame rose out of the cannons, and a clip of heavily compressed stock horror music blared. “And THAT is more like it! Good job with the fire especially, Napstaton. Alright! Your puzzle, your challenge, your DOOM awaits you! Seat yourself at the puzzle, human! Fuhuhuhuhu!!!”

Frisk nervously slid themself onto the bench. Their fear was palpable, and Heady tried to comfort them, though his own voice shook. <<It’ll be alright, Frisk! W-we’ll make it through this!>>

“Now! This piano is controlled remotely to play preset combinations of notes! Like so!” The middle key on the piano suddenly dipped downwards as if it had been pressed by a ghost.  “And you will copy them perfectly, or explode!” Frisk yelped, and quickly poked at the key. “Yes, the piano you sit at is wired with high explosives, and it will kill you if you make a single mistake! Ready?”

Frisk winced and nodded, laying their hands out over the keys like they’d seen people do in movies.

The first preset was easy--a sequence of three keys spread over the piano. Frisk was startled that the piano still played, despite being a remote-controlled simon says bomb, but quickly recovered, in time to tap out the next sequence--six notes in quick succession forming a snatch of a heroic song. After that, the sequences grew more complex, slowly, but Frisk found it easy to keep up, with a sharp eye for patterns and Heady watching, eagle-eyed, to correct them if they made a mistake. They started to smile, bobbing their head to the simple tunes they were playing.

Then calamity struck.

An automated voice said “Final puzzle,” and the keys began to dip, several at a time, all along the keyboard, a graceful concerto for a skilled pianist. There was no way Frisk could play it--the piece looked like it would take years of practice, and with their heart pounding they sat back and listened to the last piece of music they would ever hear.

Undyne yelped over the phone, but they barely heard it, at least until she started really shouting. “No! I can’t do it! They’ve been doing such a good job, this is dishonorable and unfair and disgusting, I cannot believe I thought I could just set them against that, I must’ve known it would kill them. That’s it! Napstaton, wire in my piano.” Undyne got to her feet, picked up the phone, and dashed over to her own piano, rage and horror mixing in her eye. As the pre-recorded concerto trickled to a stop, Undyne grit her teeth, cracked her knuckles, and laid her fingers out over the keys.

“Look. Human. You did a good job, that’s more than enough. I can’t promise you I’ll play the piece flawlessly, I normally mess up a couple of notes, but you deserve someone to at least try to save you from my awful dishonorable plan, damnit. I’ll get you later, but… with something fair, I promise.” She took a deep breath, and started to play, the keys on their piano depressing in turn as if Undyne was really there, playing for them. Frisk’s eyes were trained on her face, barely daring to hope, watching her scarlet brows draw closer with perfect focus, her eye squinted to focus through the beginnings of tears that had burst free while she spoke, her jaw clenched with the tips of her razor-sharp teeth peeking over the edges of her lips, her ear fins scrunched up thin and quivering as they listened for a single failure. A tear trickled down their cheek, half from the stress of the situation and half for the emotion writ large on their opponent’s face. 

When the piece came to an end, they applauded uproariously.

Heady was giggling excitedly. <<She did it!!!>>

<<That was so cool!>>

Undyne wiped away the part of her mohawk that had become plastered to her brow with sweat and flapped her hands excitedly. “Alright, punk. Get out of here before I change my mind.”

Frisk slid off the piano bench and reached for their phone, but hesitated.

“Thank you!” They signed.

“Look, that--I wasn’t protecting you or anything, I don’t--I’m not going soft!”

“I think you did a really good job with the song!”

A blush started to spread up Undyne’s fins. “I’m practicing it to show Alphys.”

Frisk grinned. “I think she’ll love it!”

“You really think so?” Undyne opened her mouth to say something more, shut it, and shook her head. “I’ll, uh, think of you when I play it for her. On the surface. After I kill you.”

She shut the phone before they could reply.

<<Is she okay?>>

Frisk frowned. <<I don’t know.>> They started walking towards the exit, deep in thought. <<I think her trying to kill me might be as hard on her as it is on me.>>

<<Then we’d better hurry to get to the Queen, right?>>

<<...I guess…>

<<She’s not mean, is she?>>

Heady shook his head vehemently. <<No! No, no, not at all! She’s…>> he lapsed into silence, looking for a word.

<<Kind?>>

<<She cares. A lot.>>

Their phone rang as they kept walking, and they picked up wondering what Alphys and Sans wanted to say.

Immediately they were greeted with the sight of a panicking Alphys. “Human! Oh, t-t-thank the A-angel you’re alright! We w-were calling and c-calling and calling, b-but you weren’t picking up!”

Frisk winced. “Undyne was hogging the line.”

“D-did she-- Um, is e-everything a-a-alright?”

“Yeah, she didn’t have it in her to pull the trigger.”

“I just g-g-got a report from the Hotlands branch of the Guard. A-apparently I did a drill w-with them a-and s-sent them, uh, s-spaghetti?”

Sans groaned. “don’t tell me paps is caught up in this, for f-- for the love of the angel.”

“Oh! Um, I don’t know what happened there, but I tricked them into thinking them being told to capture me was just a drill and gave them the treats Papyrus gave me!”

“B-but I n-n-never t-told them to-- wait a second.” Alphys’ eyes narrowed behind her visor. “T-they said the c-call came from N-napstaton.”

“what? alph, there’s got to be some mistake. they don’t want the human dead, they can’t! i don’t believe it!”

Frisk raised a hand before they could start arguing. “The important thing is that I’m alright.”

“But they t-tried to kill you!”

Frisk looked from Alphys to Sans, and slowly back to Alphys without signing a word.

“O-okay, p-p-point taken, b-but they’re my g-guards and they s-shouldn’t be t-taking orders t-to assassinate m-my friend!” Alphys opened her mouth to say something more, but came up short. “I-is that the C-CORE?”

Frisk nodded.

“S-so you’ve a-almost reached Queen Toriel, then…”

Sans’ eyelights disappeared. “yeah…”

“T-then you’re n-nearly done with your journey!”

“...you could say that, yeah.”

“You’re g-going to t-try to cross the b-barrier, right?”

Frisk nodded.

“W-w-well, I h-hope you d-don’t forget us, w-when you m-make it home!” Her smile was brittle.

“I promise I won’t. And I won’t let you guys stay underground forever, either.”

Sans’ left eye flickered. “hey, uh, there’s something behind you. take a step to the side and let me check.”

Frisk frowned, but as Sans disappeared off the screen and reappeared next to them, he just shrugged. “it’s gone.”

“What’s gone?”

“doesn’t matter. just my side project.”

“That’s a lot of fuss over a side project.”

Sans shrugged. “heh. if you think that you should’ve seen undyne’s side projects. wish i could’ve.”

“What?”

Sans gestured vaguely. “oh, sometimes i wonder if she even had the clearance to know what she was doing.”

“Is she a secret agent?”

Heady squealed. <<She’d be such a cool secret agent!>>

“uh… not quite. she’s definitely not affiliated with the grey guard, nor is she, to the best of my knowledge, even trained as an assassin. unless dad’s really desperate to replace me.”

Alphys’ voice came over the phone. “S-sans, you and I b-both know she isn’t s-secretly conspiring w-with your d-dad to replace you. T-that’s absurd.”

He shrugged, neither confirming or denying. “‘dyne’s a little like… q, but for the army instead of james bond. wherein ‘james bond’ is my dad, and ‘the army’ is alphys and the lesbian squad.”

“T-they’re not a-all lesbians! T-that’s just--”

“i know, i know, burgershield isn’t a lesbian.” Sans grinned. “he’s gay, though. i know that much.”

Alphys rolled her eyes. “He h-has a name, a-and you can s-stop insinuating t-that you l-laid my guardsman! I a-actually know his b-boyfriend, t-thank you very much!”

“wait, you let me play myself and sat through all the jokes about how i--” he glanced at alphys, who drew a claw across her throat-- “just to drag me in front of a human? cold, alph, ice cold.”

“Oh, l-like abandoning a friend to teleport across hotlands on a w-weird science quest, leaving her all alone in frigid snowdin,” she drawled sarcastically.

“well clearly you’re keeping yourself warm enough by roasting me,” Sans shot back.

Alphys laughed. “I c-could r-really roast you if you c-came back to the forge.”

“what’re you gonna do? gonna bleach my bones? big scary guard captain?”

“I’m g-gonna grind you up and feed you to my m-minecraft garden!”

“oh, it’s on ,” Sans said, disappearing with a flash of darkness as Alphys reached for the phone.

“S-s-s-see you s-soon, h-human!”

Chapter Text

Frisk rode the elevator up one floor, and startled when the door opened. The path, a corrugated metal walkway a few feet thick held up by red steel latices, led off into the distance, but the whole thing had been trashed as if a pack of dogs had held a wild raging party. Gnawed bones, shed fur, chew toys, and kibble covered the ground, which was scored with the heavy impact of claws. Carefully, Frisk picked their way through the mess into the building nearby that the path led directly to. A well-worn sign declared that this was the “Shaggy Dog Pu g b”.

<<Huh?>>

<<It’s a bar! Man, they must’ve had a rager last night. Thursday’s always a big day for students to get smashed.>> Heady spoke with a hint of nostalgia. <<Or at least that’s what Mom always said.>>

<<Oh.>> Frisk cringed away towards the door. <<This is what a bar looks like?>> The whole place looked just as ruined as the walkway outside.

<<Well, a dog bar.>>

Their eyes were wide. <<So there’s alcohol in this building right now?>>

<<I think so, yeah.>>

<<We gotta go.>>

Heady frowned. <<It’s not gonna leap out and attack you… look, someone’s cleaning up the bar. They probably have snacks we could buy. This place won’t hurt you, Frisk.>>

<<But alcohol-->> Frisk gestured vaguely with the hand that wasn’t on their stick. <<People drink alcohol and they hurt you.>>

<<Only mean people. Dad would drink grownup eggnog with Rudy all the time and he was always nice even though if he drank a lot of it he would get extra silly. Even the year they went out wassailing and they didn’t come in until really late, we were up in secret to spy on him and he just had trouble walking around and laughed at really bad jokes.>>

Frisk wondered who “we” were, but knew prying would just make Heady feel bad. <<Maybe monsters are nice when they have alcohol, and just humans are mean.>>

Heady frowned, but said nothing other than to encourage them to talk to the bartender.

They relented and walked tentatively up to the bar and tapped their stick on the floor to catch the bartender’s attention.

“Roh, rullo human!” The big white dog behind the bar turned around, speaking around a sponge held in their mouth. “Rut can I ret you?”

“Um…” Frisk wiggled their fingers. “What’s okay for kids?”

The dog looked in a nearly empty cabinet. “Re rust have a resser bone, and a rone reat.”

<<I have both of those, don’t I? I got them at the bake sale back in the Ruins.>> Frisk pulled up the dimensional box Sans had mentioned that Undyne had added to their phone, and shifted the bone treat into their inventory next to the lesser bone.

<<Oh, okay. I guess there’s nothing to buy here after all.>>

“I guess… I should probably just get going, I’m sorry.”

“Rait! Re have one other ring--rhe rove and affection recial!”

Frisk took a while to puzzle that out. “A love and affection special?”

“Reah, it’s only ren rold!”

Frisk looked at their coins. They had at least enough to afford that, so they handed a ten gold piece over the bar. Immediately the bartender dropped their sponge, jumped over the counter-- how big WERE they, they must weigh twice as much as Frisk --and licked their hand. Frisk let them sniff, then started to pet, as the big dog curled up in their lap and made small contented noises. After a few minutes of doggy bliss, though, they licked Frisk on the nose and got slowly to their feet (paws?). “Rhat ras great! Come rack rough anytime!”

Frisk watched the dog go back behind the counter, pick up the sponge, and get back to work.

<<Huh.>>

<<That was nice!>>

<<I guess so.>> Frisk picked their stick back up and kept walking, anxious to make the hostel before nightfall. Tonight would be Shabbat, the sixth night after they fell. Although they doubted they’d be able to celebrate the holiday with anything more than maybe a big meal, and they’d have to travel again on Saturday to stay ahead of Undyne, they still hoped to spend the night in a warm bead somewhere they could get their hands on candles and bread or even grape juice.

On the other side of the bar was a puzzle, an archipelago of metal platforms with steam vents. They quickly crossed the vents to the right branch, knowing that the door at the end must require something from the two branches to open. The walkway, however, lead to a suspiciously long conveyor before the door to a ship puzzle. Sure enough, when Frisk stepped onto it, three blue lasers lit up and started to sweep back and forth. Frisk picked their way across as carefully as they could, but they took one searing hit right across their upper arm and winced as their HP dropped. They shoved the hot chocolate from their inventory into their mouth, figuring that they could always go buy extra bones if they needed them, and forged ahead.

Their phone rang as they walked out of the completed puzzle.

“Punk! Listen up.”

Frisk nodded, and Undyne took a sip of water out of a beaker that looked like it had been barely cleaned after being used for experiments.

“Okay so here’s my issue. I wanna show Alphys one of my favorite of your human mythology cartoons, the ones with the cool legends of princesses and swords and aliens and shit. But I don’t know whether to start with a Isekai or a Shounen and I narrowed it down to like five or six legends but I just can’t pick, I know she’d like them all, but is four hundred episodes just too much of a time commitment? Is it too forward if I pick something that’s known for being yuri? Listen I’m sure you know the legends, could you just give me some advice about what’s a good legend for someone who liked, uh, well there’s six or seven we’ve watched together--”

Frisk’s eyes started to glaze over. They were nowhere near as up to date on anime as Undyne presumed, and they were having trouble figuring where she was going with all the talk about mythology and legends from human culture. They let Undyne talk herself out, though, and when she had finally finished she seemed satisfied.

“I guess that makes sense, right, starting with my favorite. Thanks, human. Uh…” Undyne’s fins displayed with a blush that her thoughts had caught up with her mouth and reminded her that she was supposed to be killing them, not geeking out about anime with them. “Nah, there’s no way I can roll this back, is there. Look, it’s totally normal to like hanging out with your enemies, as long as you defeat them in the end! It’ll be just like that time in Homestuck when Caliborn--oh, nevermind, I really hope you haven’t read that . How young are you, twelve? If humans encourage their fry to learn from legends where the heroes act like that then they deserve to get wiped off the surface by our queen with the power of seven human SOULs.”

She hung up the phone before she could say anything worse, leaving Frisk to boggle at her tirade.

<<I’ve never heard of any of those human things,>> Heady lead.

<<Me neither, what do you want me to say? I don’t even know half of those words she was saying.>>

<<Then that’s… not… human mythology like she was saying?>>

Frisk grimaced. <<I think she’s got her sources mixed up. Anime and manga are just stories.>>

<<But aren’t stories mythologies?>>

<<Mythologies are about people like Zeus, or Jesus. Things people pray about.>>

Heady nodded. <<Like the angel!>>

<<I guess so.>>

Crossing to the other end of the puzzle, Frisk paused to talk to two kids sitting on the ground, kicking their feet over the lava far below. The smaller, who had no arms, wore a yellow shirt with black stripes and chunky gold jewelry, and the taller, who had arms, wore a black shirt with yellow stripes and a bow in their hair.

“Are you here to see the puzzles UNDYNE reactivated?” the little one asked. “She’s so cool… I hear she’s trans like me too! She’s so honorable , she always makes sure if there’s a fight in one of her puzzles the person solving them has a weapon. That’s probably why she likes the royal guard captain so much too, I’m sure she’d try to make friends with anyone who cared as much about their honor as her right away.”

“You’re so dorky, M.K., everyone knows someone as strong as Undyne would only care about peoples’ strength . That’s why she helps Captain Alphys with her armor and weapons, she loves seeing people show off their strength!”

Frisk frowned. “I think she’s just nice. Sure, she talks a lot about fighting and strength, and crushing people, but does she ever do it? Or is she just nice?”

“Well…” The two monsters looked from one to the other. “She’s way too big and scary to just be nice! She’s not old like Missus Queen Toriel is, either. She’s just too cool to be all dorky and peaceful like that!”

The older one nodded. “Cool people gotta just show off and thrash the little guys. That’s how you show you’re cool! Like this--” She reached out and grabbed her sibling in a headlock. “Youuuuu fricking no-armed dork! Gimme fifty pushups with your NOSE you stinky idiot. WHERE would you be if a bad guy came through without your sister to protect you!”

“Okay! Okay! I know, I need you to protect me. Let me go so I can do the pushups!”

Frisk crossed their arms. “Why are you bullying your sibling?!”

“Because Mum and Da brought us up to be tough! Just cause they’re missing now doesn’t mean I’m gonna let my sibling be a dorky weak nerd!” They threw M.K. to the ground and they started struggling through pushups with their nose.

“Your Mum and Da sound like they’re pretty mean.”

“They gotta be mean so we can be strong like they were! Just like a Grey Guard!”

Frisk shook their head. “Nobody ought to ever raise a child mean. It’ll mess them up! You could end up with really bad trauma and have trouble doing anything.” <<Like me,>> they didn’t add. 

“Huh.”

“Listen, you don’t have to listen to me, just… go to the hostel and ask someone to help you sort it out. You don’t need to raise your sibling all alone, okay?”

The kid stared at Frisk. “M.K., get up off the ground. We’re going.”

“Okay!”

“You look really upset. I’m gonna be nice and listen to you. But if I catch you being dorky on our turf again, I’m gonna beat you up even more than Doctor Undyne would.”

She stormed out, leaving her sibling alone with them.

“Thanks! That was such a nice thing, you didn’t have to do that.”

“Send it forwards, ok? There’s a nice kid at the hostel named Susie who could really use a big strong friend like you to take care of her, as long as you’re kind to her. Be, like… extra dorky, just as long as she knows she’s got friends who care about her, ‘kay?”

“Wait, you mean…. Could I get to be friends with her too?”

Frisk smiled. “That’s how friends work, yup.”

“Oh, wow! I’d get a real friend of my own!”

“Hey dork--I mean, hey bro, come on, don’t go, uh, lagging behind!”

“Coming!”

Frisk smiled as they solved the puzzle, and the doors at the far end of the room opened. Beyond the doors was the return of doggy chaos, and they steeled themself for dogs (and chaos) of any sort.

Chapter Text

When they walked through the door, the first thing they noticed was a long, white, furry, snake. It was nearly a foot in diameter, tangled around and around the room in wild coils. Tentatively, they laid a hand on it--it was warm, with a strong pulse beating regularly beneath the thick, soft, fur. As they crept farther into the room, carefully avoiding the monster strung out across almost all of it, the walls started to shake with the sound of fast, wet, breathing. 

<<What kind of monster is this?!>>

<<I don’t know, I’ve never seen anything like this before!>>

In the middle of the room, a coil of monster lead to a small, sleeping, dog’s head. Tucked behind the ropelike expanse of what might have been its neck was a dog’s body, wrapped in a butcher’s apron.

Frisk reached forwards tentatively and pet the head of the dog-snake.

ARF.

The dog’s woof shook the room, like the bark of a pomeranian fed through a microphone and speakers the size of Mount Ebott complete with a truly incomprehensible amount of reverb. With a strange, slithering, clicking sound, the dog’s head started to move, retracting and retracing the lines of its neck. Frisk craned their neck to watch the monster slither and slide along the boundaries of the room first slowly and then faster, faster, faster, like a string sucked into the mouth of some invisible angry eldritch god--but nothing was moving in the room but it.

At last, the whole neck had retracted, and the body and head of the dog were separated only by a small, almost normal. It stood on two legs like a human, wearing a butcher’s apron with a meat cleaver at its belt and a satchel full of bones. It leaned forward--or did it only extend its neck--and sniffed them curiously.

“Good doggie…” Frisk signed hesitantly.

The dog yap-yap-yapped (did the yaps echo or did they continue after the dog closed its mouth) and put its paws up on their shoulders. So close to the dog, they could smell its fur and feel its hot breath. Overwhelmed, they shied away, but before they could get away, the color drained out of the world and their SOUL flickered into their hands.

<<What’s going on?>>

<<LESSER DOG has you trapped.>>

<<Check?>>

<<Lesser Dog. AT [ARF] DF [BARK]. It thinks fighting is just play, but it’s happy to collect the bones once it’s done with a toy.>>

Frisk gasped as the bullet board opened up, and a tiny dog shape woofed at them. They held stock-still as cyan shockwaves shook towards them, but to their surprise instead of phasing through them, the attack turned their SOUL the same shade of cyan, locking it onto a small set of horizontal and vertical blue lines where it moved step by step along the points of a grid.

<<The game’s getting started.>>

Frisk tugged on their hair nervously. <<What can I do?>> 

<<Maybe we can wiggle free?>> The dog was winding around the room, hot breath coming fast as it celebrated its deadly game.

Frisk tried to clamber over the coils of its body towards an exit they glimpsed through the drifting fur, but the dog wiggled underneath them and they tumbled back to the floor, their stick falling after them. They barely caught it before it fell on them, and they were a little off-guard as their opponent’s attack started. A little dog started in the bottom corner, and instead of moving towards them, its neck extended, snaking towards them like in a video game they’d once played on a cabinet in a pizza parlor. They watched, SOUL frozen in place as it extended, one-two-three-four-five-six points along the grid, then the attack stopped abruptly.

<<In cyan SOUL mode, you position your SOUL first, then wait patiently to see if the attack gets to you.>>

<<Like a game of snake?>>

<<Huh?>>

<<Oh, when we get home I’m definitely showing you all the games I can get my hands on. You’d probably be great at pokemon, it’s all about clever little fights between these cute monsters!>>

<<Why do the monsters fight each other? Was there a war?>>

Frisk blinked. <<No, not monster monsters like you, little animal monsters like. Uh. There’s this big tall chicken with its hands on fire.>>

<<What??>>

<<Can we focus on the giant dog snake?>>

Frisk tried again to wiggle free, this time running along a clear path on the ground, only to be coiled up and caught as the fight continued. This time they were ready in time to move their SOUL a few notches away from where the dog started, giving them enough of a cushion to escape its stretching neck. 

The next round, though, they could barely struggle within the crushing coils, and the dog’s attack caught their SOUL once--twice--thrice in a matter of seconds. Their HP dropped perilously low, and their hands shook as they moved their SOUL to the ITEM button. They grabbed the first thing they could get from their inventory, the bone treat they’d been carrying since before they left the Ruins. Lesser Dog perked up and sniffed eagerly at the treat as they crammed it into their mouth, grateful that magic food was converted to energy immediately whether or not they could chew through the hard chips of bone in the sugary snack.

They were able to narrowly escape its attacks, as it coiled wildly about the bullet board, clearly overexcited by the treat nearby.

<<Can we throw it the other bone?>>

<<Sure! Just throw it right out of your inventory!>>

The bone barely left Frisk’s hand before the dog caught it in its mouth, and suddenly began to shrink again. They dodged the wild careening of its retracting neck, and, when it finally was just the size of a normal dog again, it curled up with its bone and began to gnaw happily. 

Frisk quickly grabbed their stick and slipped out the far door, when their phone rang. Undyne was calling again.

“I see you didn’t manage to donate your bones to the dog, punk.”

“Donate what?! ”

Undyne gestured absentmindedly as she spoke. “Lesser dog is a special kind of dog monster. Normally they have a pack who makes sure they get affection and plenty of bones, so they don’t get excited so easily and, uh, do that. But their pack scattered, like, a century ago. They always wanted to be a butcher, but they haven’t got a pack to get them the bones they need, so their focus isn’t good enough for them to work on it. So I thought hey, if they eat your bones, that’s doing them a good turn as well as me. But I guess you threw a wrench in that plan, huh?”

“I gave them a bone, but why can’t you just give them dead thing bones?”

“Beats me, punk, but it needs ‘em fresh if it can get ‘em. Normally a big ol’ pup like them would help keep a handle on the peryton population in Snowdin, but they want to stay with their brother after, uh. Their mum died.” Undyne rubbed her eye, a downcast look on her face. 

“Oh. I’m sorry.”

“You wouldn’t, uh, be so kind as to go back there and get eaten, huh punk?” Undyne shook her head. “Nevermind, Napsta and I set up this great trap in the next room. It’s really the best of their evil genius! Like, even if you think you’re gonna win, there’s this twist at the end that would almost make you rather you went down quietly! And this time I am TOTALLY not saving you from it. I wanna see this puzzle mash you to death!” She grinned.

Frisk frowned. “Maybe just a little help?”

“Never! This is where you go down, punk! Now come on, I’ve stalled you enough for Napsta to finish setting up.”

Chapter Text

Tentatively Frisk shut their phone and crept down the tunnel, suddenly scared to know what lay ahead. The room ahead was cavernous and empty, with one of Napstaton’s ever-present cubes sitting on a stage, a soft 8-bit tune playing with a pair of pixelated headphones displayed on the face on their screen, which had their eyes closed as if listening intently. The whole place looked like a cross between a concert venue and a factory, with a floor made of corrugated metal that was patched in places with sheets in different shades of tarnish. As Frisk stepped through the door, the beat dropped, the music slipping out into an intense dubstep beat adorned with hints of the chiptune melody. Frisk grinned and danced a few steps of grapevine, knowing Undyne would be watching by camera, their stick carefully poised to keep their weight off their weak leg as they moved. They dropped into a bow as Napstaton mixed the song to a close. The headphones slowly faded out of their pixel art, and their eyes opened slowly.

“oh……. human… i wasn’t sure you were coming…”

“I lived, don’t worry!”

“i wasn’t sure… i had a hunch you might though……”

Frisk wondered for a split second if Napsta somehow knew about the times they’d died and continued on somehow. Then they shook their head--that would be impossible. “I’m good at surviving.”

“......you might not be good at surviving this…”

Frisk winced. “What’s this trap, then?”

“less of a trap…… more of a challenge……” Needles dropped onto records around the room, preparing them for whatever was coming. “undyne made these little robots…. they keep the beat… violently…… i’m gonna mix… you stay up as long as you can… go down and they take you to their creator… and… um… she kills you…..”

Their phone rang. “Here, punk. I’m giving you something to make this a fair fight. I didn’t plan on a kid with, uh.” Her hands absently made the sign for stick. “When I hang up, press the green button.” She gave a sharklike grin, showing thousands of teeth. “I’ll see you and your SOUL soon…”

“oh… huh… she’s getting harder and harder to predict… well, the wheels are in motion now…… speaking of motion… uh… get ready… two…… three… four…” Needles dropped, and panels all around the floor opened up. The world flashed black and white, and their SOUL appeared. Frisk fumbled for the green button, still strangely saturated despite whatever was… going on around them. Their SOUL flashed the same green as the button, and next to it a deep blue spear blinked into existence, hovering above their SOUL then flying to face the same direction as their stick, held out nervously in front of them. They could no longer move around either their body or their SOUL, only able to turn in place. The beat dropped, an even sicker beat than before, if that was even possible, reverberating in their ribcage as Napstaton manipulated the sound around them. From all directions, bolts of pure-white magic shot towards their SOUL as a set of small robots crawled out of the floor. Frisk flicked their stick towards the first one, acting on instinct, and as the spear moved to take the blow, the shock of the impact shook the stick in their hands. Their eyes narrowed.

<<So that’s how she’s helping.>> Frisk flicked their stick up, left, right, behind them, neutralizing the last of the first wave of bullets.

<<It’s nice of her…?>>

<<This is a powerful spell,>> Frisk realized, as they fended off another wave of bullets with a spin of their stick. <<I don’t even have to hold myself up with my weak leg, I can’t fall!>>

Heady murmured assent. <<It’s probably for the best. Outrunning those robots would probably be impossible! These little guys pack one hell of a punch.>>

Left, back, down, up, down, right. Frisk spotted a tempo increase coming in the bullets and pushed off from the ground, spinning around the SOUL anchored in their chest in a full circle, deflecting bullets the whole way as they went toes over teakettle. They landed with a wince of pain from their weak leg and an elated rush in their eyes as they flicked a few straggling bullets away. 

<<That was AMAZING!!!>>

Frisk grinned and pushed off the ground again, this time jumping with a twist. They spun around their central axis, swinging their stick as much to gain momentum as to block the few bullets approaching over the bridge of Napstaton’s song. They put their feet carefully under them as the last beat drop grew imminent.

The music thrummed in their ribcage as they swung their stick faster than before. Heady helped them keep track of the bullets--there were so many that they could barely keep up. The whole headspace was nothing but directions and reactions, bleeding from Frisk to Heady and back. The song crescendoed, roaring in their ears. left-right-up-left-left-up-down-back-left-front-up-right-down-up-up-left-left-LEFT!

Frisk blocked the last bullets, and, breathing hard, watched the last, spent, robot fall to the floor. Napstaton let the music fade, then cleared their throat. “impressive… well… now for the shitty twist. since you defeated the bots, you won’t fight their creator. you’ll fight me. and i’m indestructible. so make your peace with your angels and… sorry.”

Frisk winced. Had the supercomputer never really been on their side at all? They signed the shema quickly, turning to face the box as, with a grinding sound, a panel slid back on its side. A gun slid out of the panel--nothing fancy, just a six-shot revolver. Frisk swung their stick back in front of them, and the spear followed it, though they knew that would afford them precious little safety.

The sound of the gun filled their ears. The sound of the gun filled their ears. The sound of the gun filled their ears. The sound of the gun filled their ears. The sound of the gun filled their ears. The sound of the gun filled their ears. 

<<What?>>

Six spent bullets lay in front of them on the ground. Their hand ached as if it had been punched. The spell on their SOUL flickered and died, but the spear, though pitted and scorched, had held just long enough.

“oh… looks like doctor undyne’s help made you too strong for me. what a shame. i need to take a depression nap about this… booting dow--”

Frisk’s phone rang, loudly. Frisk was going to ignore it as it rang again, but the phone picked up on its own, unfolding itself within Frisk’s pocket. They sighed and pulled it out as Undyne started to yell.

“OH NO YOU DON’T. DON’T FUCKING RUN AWAY FROM ME, NAPSTATON, YOU FUCKING TRAITOR .”

“undyne…--”

“SHUT THE FUCK UP. YOU CAN TRY HARDER THAN THAT TO KILL THEM AND I KNOW IT. YOU… YOU…” Undyne’s eye widened, then narrowed in pure hatred. “You’ve been on their side the whole time.”

Napstaton started to say something, but Undyne cut them off with a roar . “DON’T FUCKING DENY IT. YOU BASTARD . HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN BETRAYING ME, IN MY OWN HOME?! I MADE YOU AND YOU DO THIS TO ME?”

Frisk distinctively heard glass shattering, then a sound that defied comprehension, followed by a whimper of pain from the console in the room.

“Oh, are you in pain? You hurt? You angel-damned traitor bastard, you deserve this. If I have to kill them with my bare hands I will… you haven’t fucking stopped me. And you better sleep with one eye open, human. In fact, don’t even sleep. This piece of shit can’t keep you safe. Nothing can keep you safe now. I can’t believe… how long have we been friends, you asshole?! How long have you been plotting against me? I hate you, I hate-- I hate-- I fucking DESPISE you! ” Undyne snarled her words, camera angled so Frisk could see her stripping sheet metal off the side of one of Napstaton’s cubes with her bare hands, ignoring the blood from where the ragged edges bit back.

“I can’t trust you! I can’t trust Alphys not to stop me. I can’t trust Papyrus. I can’t even trust Queen Toriel! Nobody but me has the balls to see me kill them, I guess. Who cares?! I’m too good for any of you to stop me. Even you, motherfucker!” She punctuated her yell with a sharp kick at what was left of the cube, and a yelp of pain. Furious blue magic sparked and crackled along her arms and around her head, even briefly blazing behind her dark lens. “I hate you all! Pretty fucking funny how I’m the half-blind one, and none of you can see what needs to be done, huh? I don’t even care if it kills me anymore. Frankly, I can’t bare to--” Her voice broke, edged suddenly with tears. “I can’t talk to any of you! I can’t look at you! Why did you do this to me? I thought you were my friend . I thought we were besties . You lied to my face, you asshole! You lied-- you--” Undyne collapsed into furious tears suddenly, planting her face in the half-ruined computer. “I don’t understand!”

Frisk made a half-formed noise in the back of their throat, still barely processing Undyne’s outburst. A haze of dissociation was already settling in, replacing their terror with a calm, blind, urge to run.

“Oh, you’re still watching? Is this funny to you, human? I knew them for years, and they betray me for some stupid kid ? Fuck you too. I’m gonna kill you for this, and I’m gonna make it hurt, ” she sobbed. Something bright blue hurtled at the camera, and the call ended abruptly.

Chapter Text

Frisk dropped to the ground like a puppet with their strings cut. They couldn’t move any of their limbs, but they could hear Heady’s voice loud and clear in their head.

<<Frisk.>>

<< let me go let me go let me run I have to run I have to get free-- >>

<<Frisk!>> Heady’s voice was stern. <<Tell me five things you can see.>>

<<Napstaton box. Floor. Dead robots. Uh…>> Their head was stuck at an odd angle, and they couldn’t move it. <<Hoodie sleeve. Records.>>

<<Good job. Tell me four things you can feel.>>

<<Metal. Hoodie. Sneakers. Heat.>> The static in their head was abating slowly, but still they felt the urge to run, straining to get to their feet and run.

<<Good. Now tell me three things you can hear.>>

Frisk strained their ears. <<Metal supports. Lava. Breathing.>>

<<Thank you. Can you tell me two things you can smell?>>

<<Papyrus smell in his sweater. Stinky armpit.>>

Heady giggled. <<Almost done. One thing you can taste.>>

<<Blood.>>

<<Blood?>>

<<Bit my tongue.>> Frisk swallowed the blood and Heady let them get to their feet. <<Less panic. Let’s go.>>

<<You’re sure?>>

<<Not gonna run. Just want to go somewhere safe and sleep.>>

<<This was exhausting. Poor Undyne.>>

Frisk shook their head, using their stick to walk past the dormant computer. <<Poor everyone.>>

<<She was really mad, huh.>>

<<Yes.>> Frisk wiggled their fingers, trying to sort out their thoughts. <<Napstaton going easy on us was them betraying her she thinks?>>

<<So she really does just want us dead.>>

Frisk’s staccato mental voice agreed, went to say something, and stopped suddenly. In front of them was a huge building, clearly marked HOTLANDS YOUTH HOSTEL.

<<We’re here.>> Frisk approached the door and opened it, curious what was inside.

They weren’t expecting Papyrus, Sans, Alphys, and Susie all crowded around the door.

“YOU MADE IT!”

“Y-you’re hurt, o-oh no, h-hold still a m-minute, l-let me--” Alphys, in her full armor again, reached out and ghosted one claw over the burn on the side of their face from having been facedown on the metal floor. Green blossomed in the side of their vision, and their face felt better, their mind even a little refreshed.

“hey, alphs, give the kid some space, ‘kay?”

Frisk lifted a hand and signed, still a little overwhelmed. “She’s okay, I--thank you guys! You came all the way out here just to see me?”

“YOU TOLD ME ABOUT AN OBSERVANCE OF SOME SORT. A HOLIDAY! WE KNEW YOU PROBABLY DIDN’T HAVE ANY WAY TO CELEBRATE ON YOUR OWN, SO I ASKED CAPTAIN ALPHYS AND SANS IF WE COULD HELP YOU SOMEHOW. SUSIE ASKED IF YOU WERE DEAD WHEN SHE SAW CAPTAIN ALPHYS, AND WE REASSURED HER YOU WERE OKAY, SO SHE JOINED IN. AND ALSO ATE SOME OF THE DINNER WE MADE.”

“Just spill all my beans, huh?” Susie folded her arms. “Hey.”

“Hi!”