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Chapter Text

Tony groaned as he slid out of his warm bed. His alarm was blaring loudly in his ears. It didn’t take him long to remember the events from the night before. 

*Flashback* 

“You fucking useless piece of shit! I told you to finish this!” Howard Stark yelled. Tony’s eyes were glued to the ground as he bit back the tears that formed in his eyes. 

“I-I’m s-sorry…I ha-” A slap to his face cut him off, but it didn’t stop there. Tony could smell the alcohol on his father’s breath.

“You.” *slap* “Fucking.” *punch* “worthless.” *kick to the ribs* “Piece.” *another kick* “Of”  *punch* “Shit. Can’t you do anything right!?” Tony curled in on himself as his father stopped his relentless beating. “Get your lazy ass up and stop your blubbering. Stark men are made of iron. Don’t you forget that,” The man snarled as he walked away, slamming the door behind him. 

Tony sniffed as he pulled himself to his feet. The second he exited the workshop, when Jarvis saw him, the older man fussed over Tony. Helping the teen up the stairs and cleaning his wounds, offering as much comfort as he could. 

“I’m okay J...I promise,” Tony said softly.

“Okay young sir…,” Jarvis said sounding not too sure. “Sleep well.”

When Jarvis left, Tony fell into a -not so peaceful- slumber. 

*End of Flashback*

Tony got dressed for school, it was painful. His torso was sore and his muscles ached, but he couldn’t miss school. His father really would murder him then. ‘Stark men are made of iron’ . Tony used some foundation to cover up the bruise forming on his cheek. Every once in a while, Tony would have to use foundation to cover up his face. 

Usually, Howard was more careful where he laid punches….but not when he was drunk. 

Tony skipped breakfast that morning, opting to walk to school despite the chill in the air. Marvel High was not too far from the Stark residents. 

When Tony got to the school, he went to his locker first. He had more than ample time before class started. 

He was just about to shut his locker when…

“Well if it isn’t the freak.”

Tony gritted his teeth. ‘Great just what I needed today’. The teen thought bitterly to himself. 

“Leave me alone,” Tony said. His words fell on deaf ears as Justin pushed him, jostling his probably bruised ribs. Tony hissed in pain. Tony was saved by the bell, literally. Tony walked into class a few minutes late. 

“Good to see you in class, Mr. Stark,” the teacher said. Tony flinched. 

“Tony,” the teen corrected. He hated being called ‘Mr. Stark’, that was his father. Not him. 

“Just take your seat,” said the teacher with a hint of annoyance. Homeroom started. Tony stayed uncharacteristically quiet. Thankfully to him, it was Friday. 

After homeroom, it was science. Tony had that class with Natasha Romanoff and Bruce Banner. Tony knew none of them really...liked him. Bruce was nice. Natasha, she didn’t really talk to him, so he didn’t know about her. 

Bruce was the only one in that class who seemed to want to talk to Tony, who didn’t seem to hate him for everything he was. Except for the teacher. Mr. Johnson. They were doing an experiment with partners. Mr. Johnson picked their partners and Tony ended up being partnered with none other than Justin Hammer. 

“Tony Stark and Justin Hammer.” Tony groaned, almost banging his head on the desk. And he would have if he didn’t already have the beginnings of a migraine.  

Of course, Tony did all of the work. Justin only started looking like he was helping if Mr. Johnson was looking. Tony scoffed as Justin copied down the answers. But he knew things would go downhill even more if he said anything about it. 

Finally, it was time for lunch. Tony sat at a table by himself. He watched as the group of seniors, Steve Rogers, Natasha Romanoff, Bucky Barnes, Sam Wilson, Bruce Banner, Clint Barton, and Thor Odinson talked at their own table, they called their group the Avengers. 

Everything was fine...until Hammer decided to bother him. 

“Oh hey Stark. All alone, eh? I guess your mom just couldn’t stand you.” The teen said loudly. Tony kept his eyes focused on the table, he could feel people starting to look because Justin didn’t even care to keep his voice down. Tony clenched his jaw. “Well, it’s nothing less than you deserve. Spoiled asshole.”

Tony just sat there. He tuned out the other teen. ‘Spoiled, useless, asshole, daddy’s boy, worthless,’ The words, hitting him hard, every insult that came out of Hammer’s mouth hit him like a cannonball. 

“Hammer, that’s enough.” There was a new voice. It was deep, Tony recognized it instantly. “The only one here being the asshole is you.” 

That surprised Tony. The brown haired teen had never heard the blond cuss. In fact, he frequently heard him reprimanding his friends about their own profanity. Justin looked from Tony to Steve, his lips pulled back into a snarl as he turned to walk away. Tony finally allowed himself to look up, Everyone was looking at them. Tony’s mind was on pilot mode. 

“Hey, are you okay…?” Steve asked softly. Granted, he didn’t really know Tony. They never really talked to him. But something about the absolutely heartbreaking look on the teen’s face caused Steve to do everything in his power to make it go away. 

“Why do you care?” Tony snapped. He hadn’t meant to, but he was confused as to why they would help him now instead of just leaving him alone like always. Everyone else went back to their lunches except for the other six. Their eyes were too locked on Tony and Steve. 

Steve looked taken aback by the question. “Because I do.” A look passed through the brown haired teen’s eyes, before it was replaced with a hard look. 

“You haven’t until now,” Tony said getting up fast. That was a bad decision, it jostled his already painfully sore ribs. Tony’s vision swam for a second before it cleared up. The teen then proceeded to walk out of the lunchroom. 

“I was just trying to be nice.” Was all Steve said, a kicked puppy look donning his features.

“We know,” Natasha said as she guided Steve back to the table.  

“Maybe give him some time...I’m sure he’ll come around,” Bruce said. 

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It was finally the end of school. Tony told Jarvis to tell his father he’d be late coming home because he had something he had to finish up for school. Which, in truth, was a lie. Tony found himself at the cafe he loved so much. Ana’s. Jarvis’ wife owned it along with helping at the Stark residence.

It was a truly beautiful cafe. It wasn’t very big. The lights weren’t harsh and the atmosphere was light. There was a booth at the back, by a window. That’s where Tony sat. It had a small fireplace by it. A fire burning softly, keeping the small place warm. 

Then, Steve’s group walked in and sat by the table Tony was sitting at, they had no idea he was there. “Yeah...he was kind of being an asshole...it kinda comes with the rich boy genes I guess,” Clint said. Tony swallowed hard. They weren’t any different than anyone else. They thought the same.

“Come on Clint...he’s not that bad…” Bruce said once again, seeing the best in everyone. Trying to defend Tony even though he barely knew the teen.

“I mean...he kind of was that bad. Steve here was only trying to help,” Clint replied. 

“Clint-”

Tony couldn’t listen anymore. He tried tuning them out as he closed his laptop and placed it into his back pack. He got up as if nothing was wrong and walked out slowly. He felt a pair of eyes on his back, but ignored it. He also felt tears prickling in his eyes, but he ignored that too. ‘Stark men are made of iron’  

Tony walked home as slowly as possible. When he got there, the second he opened the door, Howard was in his face. “Do you have any sense whatsoever boy?!” 

Tony, was to say the least, confused. “I t-told you, I-I had a project I needed to finish,” Tony stuttered slightly. 

“I don’t care about the damn project! You know, sometimes I wish you had died instead of her. But here you are, not coming home after school like you’re fucking supposed to!” Howard yelled, slurring his words ever so slightly. 

“So! All you ever do is yell at me!” Tony snapped with his new found courage. “That seems to be all you ever do is yell and scream at me! What would mom think!?” 

As if it were possible, Howard looked even more angry. His face was red with held in anger. He looked as if he were about to burst. “Go to your room,” he said calmly despite all the anger. “I’ll be up there later.”

Tony feared what was to come, but complied nonetheless. He would really be in for a beating if he disobeyed his father anymore that evening. Tony’s mother passed away just barely six months ago. Howard blamed him. 

***SKIP THIS PART IF YOU ARE TRIGGERED BY MENTIONS OF RAPE***

When Howard stumbled in an hour later, Tony knew he was in for it. Howard didn’t look mad. In fact, he looked...Tony couldn’t place the emotion. “Be a good boy for daddy, will you?” He asked in a soft voice. 

“W-” Tony didn’t get to say anything, his father had him pinned to the bed in a matter of minutes. The older male began slowly taking off his belt, unbuttoning his jeans. Tony was shocked, he couldn’t move. “Please don’t do this...Please…” Tony begged. A lone tear fell out of his eyes.

The teen begged and begged for his father to stop as he violated Tony. The room was full of grotesque moans from his father, pleading cries from Tony. Finally, Howard’s thrusts came to a stop. The older male pulled out of his son and put his jeans back on. “Tell anyone about this, and it’ll be the last thing you do,” he said threateningly as he left the room. 

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*END OF WARNING*

Tony laid in his bed alone after that, he was sore, crying -no sobbing- into his pillow. The teen was shaking hard as he tried to put on a pair of sweatpants. There came a soft knock at the door causing Tony to jump. “C-come i-in…” Tony said hesitantly, a hint of fear hidden in his voice. He pressed the heel of his hand  

“Is everything alright young sir?” Jarvis asked, oblivious to what just happened. 

“Y-yeah, J.” Tony looked at the adult that was more of a father figure than his own father. 

“On another note, your supper is ready. I suggest you eat and then get some rest, Young Sir,” Jarvis said. 

“I’m not hungry. I’m going to take a shower and go to bed.” 

Jarvis gave a look of disapproval. But otherwise didn’t push the subject. He walked out of the room, leaving Tony to his thoughts. The dark haired teen stepped into the bathroom after grabbing a change of clothes. Tony turned the water on, waiting until the mirror began to steam up before undressing and getting into the hot shower. The water was almost uncomfortably hot, but he didn’t care. 

Dirty

Disgusting. 

Stupid.

Asshole.

Spoiled.

The words rang around in his mind. Tony almost screamed in frustration, grabbing at his now dripping hair. Tony grabbed his razor blade that he always kept. Pressed it into the soft skin of his forearm. He dragged the blade across. One turned into two. Two to four. Four to seven. Seven to ten. 

Tony shut the water off, cleaned and bandaged his arm and got dressed. He slid into his bed and fell asleep. Though, it was not peaceful. He tossed and turned all night. His body sore, his mind a tumbling mess. 

      Monday

Tony put on a new change of clothes, skipping breakfast again, he headed to school. He wasn’t as bad off as he thought, he could actually walk normally, finally. When the teen got to school, he was stopped at the entrance by Justin. “Got some bodyguards huh Stark? Where are they now?” He asked. 

“They aren’t my bodyguards. I don’t even know them,” Tony said. “Now if you could just-”

“Just what? Leave you alone? How about no?” Justin said reaching out to push Tony. He didn’t even have to as the teen flinched so hard he fell down on his own. 

“How about yes.” There they were again, helping him. Tony didn’t care. He was too tired to fight back. Someone put their hands on his shoulders. People were around him in an instant. To close. Immediately he froze. His chest tightening. His heartbeat thundered in his chest, rushing in his ears. He heard his breaths coming in quick, wheezy pants. He couldn’t breathe. His head was fuzzy as he fought against the oncoming darkness. He put his knees up to his chest, letting his knees rest on his knees. He wanted to make himself as small as possible. 

Everything came rushing back. Someone was in front of him, whispering softly in Russian.

Wait…

Russian?

The only person at Marvel High that could speak fluent Russian was Natasha. Which meant he had a panic attack in front of the Avengers ...which caused him to panic even more. “Shhh котёнок, It’s okay,” Natasha soothed. Clint, Bruce, Sam, and Bucky made a protective circle around the two, though, keeping enough room between them and Tony and Natasha so they didn’t scare him anymore. Steve and Thor were dealing with Justin and his goones. Steve had Thor make sure they wouldn’t leave while he went and got Principal Fury. 

When Tony’s breath came a little easier, he found himself shaking to the point he couldn’t do anything. “Can I help you up?” Natasha’s soft voice reached his ears. Tony found himself nodding, he didn’t know why, but it was easy to trust her. She stood, holding her hand out. Tony almost began panicking again. ‘It’s only Natasha’ he told himself as he shakily reached for her hand. She pulled him up with ease. 

“What is going on?” Principal Fury asked as he stepped out. 

“J-Jus-” Tony cut himself off. He couldn’t even speak right. His stutter getting the best of him. ‘Stark men are made of Iron’ His father’s words ran through his head once more. “Justin was just being Justin. Nothing to worry about,” Tony said more confidently. 

“Sir, if I may…,” Justin started. 

“No, you may not. Anthony-” The way Tony flinched at the use of his full name was ignored by Fury. “-Justin, my office now.” 

Tony put his head down, looking at the ground. “Yessir.” Before Tony walked back into the school, he turned around to face them. “S-sorry...about...um...being...r-rude...the...the...other day…” He said. 

“Don’t be. It’s okay,” Steve said. That’s all Tony could ask for. He wasn’t even mad at them for what they said. He was just glad...that maybe...just maybe...he had someone other than Jarvis and Rhodey on his side. Tony gave them a small and weak, albeit genuine smile.  He then followed Fury to his office. Tony didn’t get in trouble, Justin, however was suspended for three days. Tony was released back to class. 

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     Lunchtime

“Hey Tony...what do you say you come sit with us?” Steve asked the teen softly. 

“Oh...um…” He was hesitant. “..sure..”

That’s where Tony found himself sitting during lunch, with the Avengers or so they call themselves. Tony sat in between Natasha and Bruce. It was kind of tense for a while. Soon everyone fell into a comfortable conversation. Bruce was talking to Tony about science things, Clint was talking to Nat. Steve, Bucky and Sam were talking as well. 

“Do you want something to eat, Tony?” Bruce asked tilting his head softly. He picked up the apple from his lunch and held it out for Tony who just stared at it as if it was offending him. 

“I’m...uh...not...hungry…” Tony told Bruce, who looked a little disappointed. Tony immediately felt guilt. He didn’t want to upset them. “Okay...maybe I am a little…” Tony pushed past the fear. This was Bruce, he isn’t going to hurt you. But, as he reached out to take the apple, his hands started shaking. Crestfallen, Tony pulled his hand back and laid his head on the table. “S-so-sorry….uh…fuck,” the teen whispered. All their eyes looked to him. 

“It’s okay, here,” Bruce set the apple down on the table, taking note of Tony’s discomfort. Tony vaguely registered his father’s voice in his head. ‘Pick your head up, boy. Stark men are made of Iron. Stark men don’t show emotion.’

Tony picked his head up. His whole demeanor changed from disappointed and upset to blank and almost angry. Angry at himself for being so stupid. Angry for letting his fear get the better of him. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a hand move toward him. His mind went blank and he flinched back so hard the chair tipped and fell over. 

That’s when they really realized that Tony Stark...was not okay. There was no way someone could flinch that hard at someone moving their hands and them still be okay. Natasha looked wide-eyed as she caught the chair before it fell. “Whoa there. It’s okay,” she said slightly alarmed as she helped him up. 

“S-sorry,” Tony said. They could see him closing himself off again. The bell rang. Signaling the end of lunch. 

“Don’t be sorry hun,” Natasha’s tone was motherly soft. It almost reminded Tony of his mother. 

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Mrs. Hill was a great math teacher. Even Tony thought that. The two got along well as long as Tony did his work. 

“Alright everyone, take your seats please,” he said authoritatively. Tony sat in the back of the class as always, but this time, he had two people back there with him. Clint and Sam. 

Tony and the group got along better than any of them thought they would. Clint realized that Tony wasn’t just an asshole. Despite what the lighter haired teen said about the darker haired one, Tony still forgave him. That was another thing they learned about Tony Stark, he was forgiving. 

After school, they all met up in front of the school. “Hey, so this weekend I was thinking, we could have a movie night?” Steve asked. 

“How about you, Tony?” Steve asked. Tony was still standing awkwardly beside Bruce. 

“I uh...I don’t know if I can..,” he said. “But, I can..uh..ask and see.”

As Jarvis drove him home, it was silent. When they arrived at the Stark’s place, Tony rushed inside to do his homework, and stay out of the path of his father. 

Tony didn’t get any shit from his father that entire week. Until it was Friday after school. His father was once again drunk. Tony was terrified as he yelled. “I can’t believe she left you here with me! You spoiled useless Brat!”

Tony shrunk back in fear. ‘Stark men are made of Iron’ . That was forgotten for the time being. Howard grabbed Tony by the collar. 

“Stark. Men. Are. Made. Of. Iron. Get it through your thick skull and stop crying!” He yelled angrily. Tony didn’t see his father again that night. Once he was sure his father was asleep. He grabbed his phone and charger and left out the door, telling Jarvis that he’d be back...maybe. 

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Friday night

Tony knocked on the door, hoping he had the right house. He knew he did when a kind looking woman who had the same amazingly blue eyes as Steve, opened the door. “You must be Tony,” she said kindly. “Come in.” She moved so he could slip in through the door. “They are in the living room, in case you couldn’t tell,” she said with a soft laugh. Tony could most certainly tell. The house looked much more lived in than the mansion. It was homey, made Tony feel...almost comfortable. 

Tony hesitantly walked in. “T-thanks, Mrs. Rogers,” Tony said politely. 

“Please call me Sarah.”

He heard them laughing happily at one another as he walked in. “H-hey…” he stuttered softly, making his presence known. Steve turned, giving him a big smile. Tony tried to smile back, but was almost sure that it was more of a grimace. 

“Kids!” Tony, who was just getting ready to sit beside Bruce, jumped, turning wide-eyed to face the man who looked to be Steve’s dad. “Dinner’s ready,” he said much softer seeing as how he startled Tony. “Sorry there, didn’t mean to startle you,” he said sincerely. 

“It-” Tony cleared his throat a little. “It’s okay…”

“Already scaring my friends dad?” Steve asked shaking his head with a laugh. 

“Oops.”

Tony liked the Rogers’ family household. Everything was light-hearted. “You must be that Tony Stark,” Joseph Rogers said. Tony looked down for a second. “Good to meet you son,” he said. Tony looked back up, giving a very small smile. 

They all sat down at the table for dinner, which, to Tony, was surprisingly big enough for all of them. Everything was fine...until Tony’s phone rang the teen paled ever so slightly. 

“S-sorry...about that..” he said quietly. He looked at the caller ID, paling even further. “I um...have to...answer this…m-may I be…”

“Excused? Of course hun,” Sarah said she looked at Tony with a soft look. In fact, now that the teen looked up, everyone was giving him a concerned look. 

Tony stepped out into the hall by the door. “H-hello?” He spoke softly, almost a whisper.

“Anthony Edward Stark, you get your ass home right the hell now!” Tony had to hold the phone away from his ear. “You fucking piece of shit! Who do you think you are going anywhere without my permission!? What makes you think they are actually your friends? No one wants to be friends with a spoiled brat like you!” 

Tony froze. “I-”

“Get your ass home now.”

Chapter Text

Tony walked into the mansion. His father was waiting, sitting on the couch. He had a bottle of vodka in his hand and there were several others laying around the floor.

“What have I told you, boy?” His father growled out. Howard stood up and stumbled over to where Tony was. The dark haired teen stood there, head down, not speaking. “I told you that you were to be home. You useless piece of shit.”

“I-” Tony didn’t even get a chance to say anything as his father backhanded him. He fell to the ground with a small thud from the force.

“Your mother would be so disappointed in you. I wish you had died instead of her...my perfect wife...but no. She just had to leave a faggot like you.”

Tony flinched. Hard. He’s been called many things before. But that...never. “I really hate you.” The words slipped from his mouth before he could stop them.

“What did you say to me?”

“I hate you,” Tony said. There was more venom and confidence in his voice than before. Howard reached out and not-so-carefully grabbed Tony’s hair.

“I raised you, boy,” Howard said, “Get the fuck out of my house. Right the hell now.” Pushing Tony away, Howard stalked off to his room. Tony scrambled to his feet, phone in hand; out the door he went.

Tony found himself sitting on the railing of the bridge. His feet were dangling over the edge. A river flowed gently over its rocky bed.

Dark thoughts crossed the teen’s mind. Thoughts of what would happen if he jumped. What would happen if he didn’t? Would anyone notice? Would anyone care?

“No,” he said outloud to himself. “No one would care.”

Just then, his phone rang. He looked at the caller ID, it was Steve; the two had exchanged phone numbers so that Tony could get Steve’s address; on the fifth ring, Tony finally answered.

“H-hello?” he stuttered out.

“Tony where are you? What are you talking about? Tony?” Tony could hear the urgent fear in Steve’s voice.

“I messed up and I don’t even know how…” Tony said.

“Where are you?” Steve sounded scared. The urgency in his voice making Tony want to tell him.

“He kicked me out Steve.”

“That son of a-,” Steve growled. “Tony please tell me where you are. Please,” Steve said.

“The Bridge,” Tony finally gave in and Told Steve. Tony’s voice held a heartbreaking note.

“Tony, please don’t do anything. Please just...please stay there. Don’t move.”

Tony was hesitant to answer. Steve let out another begging “Please.”

“Okay…” Tony whispered.

“Promise me you won’t hang up?”

“Promise…”

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Tony waited until Steve arrived. The blond’s blue eyes were full of worry. “Tony...come off of there please…” Steve said softly. He didn’t want to admit it, but the blond had grown to care for Tony. He used to kinda hate the guy.

Tony turned to look at Steve. Then closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and began climbing down, albeit shakily. Once he got safely onto the ground, Steve took him into a hug. Tony hated hugs, they made him uncomfortable and feel unsafe….but...Steve’s didn’t, he felt safer than he’d ever felt in his entire life. Steve was at least half a foot taller than Tony.
Steve guided Tony to the car as soon as the dark haired teen calmed down a little. “I’m sorry I’m such a fuck-up..” Tony said softly. For once, Steve didn’t correct the language.

“You aren’t a fuck-up, Tony,” Steve said seriously.

“Then what do you call it?” At Steve’s silence, Tony said, “See?”

“Tony. Stop doing that to yourself.” Steve’s fingers gripped the steering wheel tightly, his knuckles turning white. “You aren’t a fuck-up. There’s nothing wrong with you. You’ve been through a lot and I can tell, even if I didn’t know your story, I could tell,” Steve said. “You know...I was wrong about you,” Steve said after Tony didn’t say anything.

“Wrong about me?” Tony questioned.

“Yeah...I’m going to be honest. I really did think that you thought you were too good to have friends.”

Tony looked away from Steve. “But then I realized, that none of that’s true.” Steve kept his eyes on the road. Tony looked back at him.

“It’s not that I didn’t want friends...It’s just…” Tony cut off as his voice cracked with sadness. He took a deep breath. “I’ve been told that…” Tony cursed under his breath. “I’ve been told before that no one cares about me. So, I took up the act of being an asshole so I wouldn’t get hurt...I guess it turns out, that was a pretty bad decision.”

Steve pulled into the driveway. “Tony. We will help you. You just have to let us,” the blond said. Tony searched his eyes for any sign of a lie. There was absolutely nothing but truth in the blue pools.

For the first time in forever, Tony believed someone with all his heart. He just hoped it wouldn’t come back and hit him in the face. But, there was still that doubt. The two went inside. No one had left yet, too worried about the state of their friend. The second the door opened, Tony was overwhelmed with questions. It caused his mind to go haywire, sending out warnings. The door was shut behind him, Steve was beside him, Natasha, Clint, and Sam in front of him. There was nowhere to run. “Guys back off!” A voice bellowed causing Tony to flinch and fall back.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Steve said. His hands rushed out to catch Tony. “It’s okay, it’s just my dad.”

“S-sorry..” Tony said still a little shaken. There was more room. Tony calmed down a little.

“Why don’t you all go to the living room so we can talk to Tony,” Sarah said softly. Steve tried to leave, but Tony latched onto his arm with pleading eyes.
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Tony latched onto the only thing, or person in this case, he knew he could trust wholeheartedly. Tony knew he was probably screwing himself over by trusting anyone. But, he couldn’t help but trust Steve. The four sat at the kitchen table. “Do you want to tell us what’s going on Tony?” Sarah asked kindly. Her tone was open, signaling that if the teen didn’t want to talk, he didn’t need to.

“I don’t...I-” Tony cut himself off, feeling the panic crawling to the surface. He couldn’t tell them. If his own father doesn’t love him or want him, why would they?

“It’s okay. Just breathe,” came a gentle voice from behind him.

Tony took a shaky breath. “I...I think I need help.” The words bled from his lips before he could stop them. “My dad kicked me out, he’s just an ass sometimes,” Tony said quick to come up with a half true lie.

“Are you sure?” Sarah asked. Her eyes were soft and filled with what looked like worry.

“Y-yeah,” Tony said. The dark haired teen didn’t even believe himself. But, no one asked any further questions.

Tony wanted to leave, to get out of their hair. He hated that he was bothering them with his problems.
Tony ended up spending the night at Steve’s. It wasn’t like he had any where else to go.

*Line break*

“No, I don’t care. You have your own bed. I can sleep perfectly fine on the floor,” Tony said for the fifth time. Despite knowing each other for only a couple of days, they already got along like they knew each other for a few years. Steve tossed a pillow at the unsuspecting teen. Tony let out a small gasp of surprise.

“You wound me, Rogers.” Tony put his hand over his heart in fake hurt, and then hurled the pillow back at the blonde.

Suddenly, Tony dropped his smile and a look of utter seriousness donned his face. “Steve…?”

“Hmm?” The blonde in question turned to face Tony.

“I- Uh...thanks for you know…”

Steve gave a gentle smile. “No need to thank me,” Steve said. “I’m glad to help.”

Tony let a small smile grace his lips. Tony closed his eyes, allowing himself to fall into an...almost peaceful slumber.

*Line Break*

Tony walked over to Steve and the others. Bruce frowned as he noticed Tony. “H-hey guys,” Tony said. The group turned around.

“Tell me one good reason I shouldn’t-”

“Nat, please.” Steve stepped forward, “Tony, I don’t understand why? Why would you do that?”

“D-do w-what?” the brown haired teen stuttered

“Oh, don’t play innocent. You stupid spoiled ass.” Steve’s face began to morph into his father’s. “You are a disgrace. No one wants you around.”

“Get out. Don’t come back.”

‘Worthless.’

‘Useless.’

Words morphed together. Overlapping others.

*Line Break*

Tony shot up, gasping for air. The nightmare still fresh in his mind. He looked through the dark, thankfully he hadn’t woken Steve. He sat there for what felt like forever, head between his knees, trying to catch his breath, holding in sobs. Mostly hoping that he wouldn’t wake Steve. He had already caused so much trouble, he didn’t want to cause anymore.

Tony didn’t go back to sleep after that. He layed on the makeshift bed on the floor, staring up at the ceiling.

Finally, morning came along. The day started light. Tony couldn’t help but shake the feeling that he was bothering the Rogers.

*Line break*
*Time Skip-a week after befriending the Avengers*

Tony found himself once again, sitting at the cafe that he loved, sipping on a cup of delicious hot chocolate. Though, he wasn’t sitting by himself per usual. He was sitting in his usual spot, but with Steve and the others.

Tony was sitting quietly...well more quiet than usual.

“Tony?”

“Hmm?”

“You okay?”

That time Tony looked up. “Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?”

Bruce shrugged his shoulders. “You just seem...upset.”

There he was, being a bother to them again. “I’m okay,” he said.

“Tony. We are your friends, you can tell us the truth.”

‘What, that I’m a complete fuck up? That my father hates me?’ Tony thought, realization dawned on him when he saw the confused expressions on his friend’s faces. “I said that out loud, didn’t I...?”

Steve gave him a grim look. “You aren’t a fuck up,” The blonde stated.
Tony was oddly silent. They all had been friends for just about a week. They clicked instantly, Tony had been a good addition to their little group. Though, he was still causious around them. They had taken him under their wing. At first, they thought he was as rude and selfish as he acted. But, he quickly showed them otherwise. He was shy and, despite his outer demeanor, caring. He was witty and kind.

Natasha stared at Tony, something about him reminded her of herself. Before she moved here from Russia. And that was meant on almost the worst of terms. The way he shrunk back when someone moved to quickly. The way he flinched anytime someone raised their voice even if not directed at himself. The way he didn’t take anything from anyone’s hands, or better, couldn’t.

“Tony,” she finally spoke. Brown snapped to her green ones. “You can talk to us,”

“I know...I just…” he broke off. “I um...have to go,” he got up faster than any of them could protest and was out the door.

Tony walked all the way back to his house. He stood at the front steps. Soon the door opened, revealing a very worried looking Jarvis. “Young sir, it is good to see you home. Your father is waiting for you in his study.” Jarvis helped Tony get his things inside. You see, Jarvis had no idea about what goes on behind closed doors. Tony was always quick to come up with a good lie.

“Thanks J,” Tony whispered. He trudged up the stairs to his father’s study and knocked three times.

“Come in,” came the gruff reply. Tony made note of how his father didn't sound drunk for once. “I see you are home now?” he asked once Tony walked in and shut the door.

“Yessir,” Tony said. His father looked up.

“Have you learned your lesson?” Howard asked. Tony knew what he was referring to.

“I have, Sir.”

“Good. Now, get out and do your homework or something,” he said. Tony left the room with a quick ‘yessir’. Though, he was confused at his father’s 180. He thought he was going to get a beating when he got home, but Howard barely looked at him.

Tony’s heart was in his stomach. ‘This is only the calm before the storm’. He thought before walking into his room and shutting the door.

Chapter Text

Tony shut the door, beginning to work on his homework. His phone buzzed with a text from Steve. 

‘Hey, is everything okay?’-S

‘Yeah. Everything’s fine’-T

It ended with the blonde calling Tony to talk things out. 

“What the hell are you doing? I thought you were supposed to be doing homework!” Howard yelled after slamming the door open. Tony fumbled to put his phone away, forgetting that Steve had called.  

“I-I am,” Tony stuttered quietly. 

“Speak up, Boy!” 

Tony’s father was quite terrifying when he was drunk. “I said I am.” Tony found the confidence to speak up after the initial shock of the door being slammed. 

“Give me your damn phone.” Howard held out his hand. Tony looked down, refusing to look his father in the eyes. “Now, Boy!” 

Tony placed his phone in his father’s hand. The call was still open and Steve sounded worried. Howard hung up. “You stupid, worthless piece of shit!” Howard was mad. The bottle Howard had in his hands was then cracked over Tony’s head. All the teen did was sit there and take it. He deserved it, didn’t he? 

“I-”

“If you dare tell me you were talking to the Rogers’ boy…” Howard left the threat open. “You will tell him that you can’t talk to him anymore. I don’t want you hanging out with him or anyone around him,” Howard snarled as he left. Just before the door shut, Tony’s phone was chucked at him, though it hit the wall instead. 

Tony refused to move. His phone was buzzing nonstop, suddenly, all the noise was gone. It became silent in the Stark Residents. Except for a small whimpering sound, coming from Tony as he sat in his bed, trying not to cry. Steve had heard all of that because of his lack of...well...everything. 

Tony got up, grabbed his now shattered phone and snuck out the door as quietly as possible. On his way down the stairs, he ran into Jarvis. “Young Sir, where do you think you are going?” Jarvis asked gently. 

“Out.” Tony hated being so snappy with Jarvis, but he didn’t have much of a choice before his father came out of his study. Just as he opened the front door.

“Anthony Edward Stark, where in the absolute hell do you think you are going?” By that time, Jarvis was upstairs cleaning. 

“I’m going out,” Tony was blunt. 

“Oh no you aren’t.” 

“Oh yes, I am.”

Howard reached out, grabbing Tony by the hair. “No, you are not. Get your ass back to your room!” Howard practically threw Tony onto the floor. The teen landing on his arm wrong. It gave a subtle pop, though the pain was immense. 

“N-no,” Tony said as he pulled himself to his feet. Before Howard could do anything else, Tony was running out the door. He didn’t have a destination in mind, but he found himself in front of the Rogers’ household. His entire body was shaking. Exhaustion from lack of sleep was creeping on him. He was out of breath from running and the panic that threatened to take over. He knocked on the door. 

“Hello? Tony?” Joseph Rogers was standing at the door. 

“S-sorry for-for c-coming un-unannounced...b-but I-” Tony cut himself off, not able to even get a sentence out. 

“Sarah?” Joe said as he let Tony in. 

“What?” the blonde woman asked as she walked in the hallway. She got a good look at Tony who was still shaking like a leaf. “Tony? What happened?” 

Tony was still breathing hard, though now it was from the pure panic running through his veins. Steve came down the stairs. His eyes locked onto Tony who looked like he was going to pass out. Sarah helped Tony over to the couch, Steve sat beside him. 

“Tony? Talk to us, what happened?” The teen only seemed to shut down more. He pulled his knees up to his chest and shook his head. 

Tony couldn’t breathe, it was like there were ropes around his chest constricting his ribcage. His mind was running a million miles a minute. He couldn’t stop thinking. Why had he ran to the Rogers’s home? Why did he have to be so weak? Why couldn’t he breathe? 

“Hey,” the gentle voice reached through his panicked thoughts. “Kiddo, just breathe. Everything is going to be okay. Deep breaths now.”

Tony looked up, his face wet with tears. Steve’s father was in front of him, Sarah off to the side, and Steve beside him. Taking a shuttering deep breaths, Tony finally started to calm down a little. “I’m sorry,” he said immediately after calming down. 

“Shh now,” Sarah started, “We won’t push you to talk, how about some supper?” she asked kindly. Tony wanted to politely decline, but instead he accepted the offer. He hadn’t eaten anything all day, save for the apple Bruce brought him for lunch, and was feeling the affects. 

Tony had a few bites before his anxiety was clawing back to the top. “I really am sorry for coming unannounced...I should probably just go h-home,” Tony said. 

“Tony, you don’t need to apologize. You are welcome here anytime,” Sarah said. “And you can always talk to us. In fact, in this house we don’t keep anything to ourselves, whatever you say will stay between us unless Joe and I think it’s best otherwise.”

Tony looked down, ashamed that he didn’t have the heart to tell them what was happening. Heck, even Jarvis had no idea and even if he did, he would lose his job and a lot of other things if he said anything. Tony poked around his plate a little while longer. “My mom passed away about six months ago..,” he started softly. “My dad’s never been the same since…I mean..he wasn’t the best of father’s, being the CEO of a company...but…”

Tony had no clue why, but it was all just slipping from his lips. “Tony.”

“Y-yessir?” Tony’s head snapped up at the Tone of Joseph’s voice. 

“What do you mean, not the same?” 

“I um…” Tony could feel panic ripping to the surface again at the mere thought of what his father was doing. “It’s just that…” 

“I know it’s hard, but you have to be straight with us. I don’t like assuming, but this sounds like a bad case scenario.” 

He said too much. They were going to find out. “I’m going to be straight. You aren’t going to like this next question, but we need to know,” Joseph said. Tony nodded. “Is your father abusing you?” 

Tony’s eyes filled with tears. He looked down at his hands again, wringing them in anxiousness, before he finally nodded softly. Tony, thankful that he was so small, put his feet on the chair and curled in on himself. His head between his knees, his face burning with shame. He didn’t want to see their reactions. Surely if his father hated him enough to beat him, they wouldn’t want him around anymore. 

He felt a hand under his chin. Lifting it up. It wasn’t like his father’s harsh movements. It was so much more gentle and kind. He found himself looking into Steve’s blue eyes once again. “That’s not true.”

‘Shit, I said that out loud…?’ Tony thought to himself. 

“Why don’t you boys go watch a movie?” Sarah offered. Steve made a motion for Tony to follow him. 

They ended up turning on The Lion King. Steve sat against the corner of the wall by his bed. Tony sat on the other side of Steve. About ten minutes into the movie, Tony laid against Steve’s shoulder. “Steve…?” 

“Yeah Tones?” 

“You really think...you really think they’ll help?”

“My parents? Of course they will,” Steve said. “I haven’t got a doubt about it,” 

“Oh gods...what am I going to do?” Tony asked sitting up head in his hands. He turned to look at Steve as he tugged on his hair. 

Steve looked into the soft cinnamon brown eyes that were so full of fear. “He’s going to be furious...what if something happens? What if he tries to deny it? What if-”

“Tony,” Steve’s tone was quiet but firm. “Nothing is going to happen to you.”

“You can’t promise that, Steve,” Tony said. 

“I know Tony. I know I can’t promise that,” Steve said. He almost sounded disappointed. “But I can promise that I won’t let anything happen to you.” 

“No.”

“No?”

“I’m not going to let you do that to yourself,” Tony said. “I’m not worth it anyway…I don’t deserve your protection. Hell, I shouldn’t even be here.”

Steve frowned. “That’s not true. You deserve so much better than what you have.”

Tony looked as if he was about to cry. Steve took a moment to actually look into Tony’s eyes. They were like two perfect honey pools with cinnamon and sage sprinkled in, hidden by long dark eyelashes. They were filled with so much sadness and hopelessness that it made Steve’s heart lurch painfully. 

“I don’t deserve anything I have. If there was something I deserved, it would be death.” Tony turned away, now sitting on the edge of the bed. 

“Don’t say that,” Steve said shaking his head and wrapping his arms around Tony. “That is by far the absolute last thing you deserve.”

Tony looked down. His chin rested on the top of Steve’s arms. 

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Steve laughed at Tony. “You really think that anyone actually likes you? No one does.”

“Th..that’s not...not t..true,” Tony stuttered. 

“Face the facts, Stark. You are a no good, spoiled, rich boy.”

Tony was silent. For a minute. “You don’t really believe that...do you?” 

“Of course I do!” Steve yelled. Tony flinched. “It’s only the truth,” Steve didn’t even try to lower the tone of anger in his voice. Tony didn’t even know why Steve was angry. 

“I…”

“You what?” A group was starting to form around the two. They were in front of the lockers in the hallway. “Not going to say anything? Yeah, then get the hell out of my face,” Steve said. 

“I-...okay…” Tony walked around Steve, through the almost literal sea of people. 

“Stay away from my friends,” Steve said as Tony walked away. 

Tony sat by the big oak tree in the park. “Don’t leave me...please don’t leave me...You were all I had…”

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“Tony wake up. It’s okay, no one’s going to leave you,” Steve said. Sometime throughout the night, he heard Tony crying softly in his sleep, it woke him up. Steve was now trying to wake the other teen from the nightmare he was having. 

Tony shot up, breathing heavily, looking terrified at Steve. “It’s okay Tony, It was just a dream.”

Tony’s eyes finally focused on Steve. “S-sorry…” Tony said. 

“Shh, it’s okay. Don’t apologize,” Steve said. Tony, in his still almost half asleep state, nodded. 

“Okay…” He then promptly laid back down and fell back to sleep as if nothing happened. Steve wondered if this wasn’t the first time this had happened at any time for the darker haired teen. 

Steve found himself subconsciously running his fingers through Tony’s hair. It helped Tony relax. 

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It was going to be a long and hard few days. Tony had finally spilled the truth to the Rogers and they were going to help him, no matter how impossible it seemed. 

Now, Thursday morning, they waited for the two teens to wake up. Both got up around nine o’clock. “After you boys have some breakfast, there’s something we’d like to discuss.” Joseph said. 

Tony paled instantly. “Is..is there something wrong?” 

Noticing Tony’s fear, Sarah said softly, “There’s nothing wrong per say. Have some breakfast and then we’ll all talk.” Tony nodded. Steve grabbed two bowls and grabbed his favorite cereal. 

“Want some?” 

“Sure.”

Soon the two were sitting at the kitchen table eating their cereal, drinking orange juice. After breakfast, Sarah and Joseph sat down with them. “Tony.”

Tony immediately looked up, hearing his name said like that. “Yessir?”

If circumstances had been different, that would have almost been funny. “I know this is hard, but something needs to be done about this. We can’t let you go back there. How about we take you to the station. They’ll be able to help you more than we can,” Joseph said. Tony frowned, looking unsure. 

“What if they don’t believe me…?” Tony asked his was voice small, un-confident. 

“That’s where we’re unsure,” Sarah said. 

“What if they make me go back? What if he lies and tells them it’s not true? What if-” 

“Breathe kiddo,” Joseph said. Tony, who was starting to panic, took a not so deep breath and continued. Tears were starting to pool in his eyes. 

“-I get in trouble? What if...oh my god...what if he-” Tony stopped talking. Steve had put his hand over the teen’s mouth. 

“Tony.”

“Right...sorry.” It was muffled due to Steve’s hand being there. Steve moved his hand. “I guess there’s only one for sure way out of this mess...Well technically there is two...but I’m not going over the second one. So-” Tony cut himself off this time. “I’m rambling, aren’t I?”

Steve nodded. “But it’s okay.”

“We can take you now, if you’d like,” Sarah said. She didn’t want to push Tony into another panic attack, but she also know if they didn’t he wouldn’t get the justice he deserved. 

“Okay....” Though the teen was hesitant. 

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        At the Station

“Hello.” The receptionist said as Sarah walked in. 

“I need to make a statement.”

The lady didn’t look up from her computer as she hummed in response. “I’ll get you those papers.”

After about five minutes of waiting, the lady handed her a clipboard. Sarah filled out as much as she could. Tony Joseph, and Steve walked in. As soon as all that was finished, Sarah handed the clipboard back to the receptionist and they waited. 

A tall officer walked in, made eye contact with Joseph and Sarah, then walked over to them. Tony sat by Steve wringing his hands together. He was starting to get nervous. “Hello. I’m officer Phil Coulson.” 

The officer had kind, dark eyes. He held his hand out. Tony shook it firmly. His father had taught him at a young age how to shake a hand correctly. “Do you mind if I ask you some questions?” 

Tony shook his head. Officer Coulson did not seem like someone he couldn’t trust. So, he followed the officer to a more private room. 

“What’s your name, kid?” The officer asked softly. 

“Tony..,” Tony was slow to reply. 

“So Tony. Can you tell me when this all started?” He asked. Tony’s anxiety was spiking through the roof. He couldn’t. He didn’t want to. His father was going to be furious. He was going-

“Tony?” Officer Coulson pulled him from his thoughts. 

“S-sorry sir…”

“Take your time.” 

As Tony attempted to explain what happened, the officer kept writing things down on a small notepad. He was kind and patient. 

Whatever would get him away from his father, he would do it. Tony still had a bruise from the week before on his stomach where his father kicked him, on his cheek where his father slapped him hard enough to leave a bruise. And where his father grabbed onto his arm before the teen left the house.  

The one thing Tony didn’t tell, was about his father sexually abusing him. He could not even think about bringing himself to think about it, let alone talk. He knew he should have, but he was downright terrified of the outcome. 

When officer Coulson finally took him back where the Rogers were, only then did Tony breakdown. 

He felt so relieved, yet, so horribly scared at the same time. What would his father do? Would the Rogers be hurt by Howard? Would no one believe him? Would he be sent back to live with his father? Would he have to go through the pain of having to live with an abusive parent every day for the next two years? 

Anthony Edward Stark, was not fine. Everything was wrong. He was terrified of his father. Terrified of the outcomes of telling someone. Terrified that Steve or his parents would get hurt. He was tired, oh so tired. Tired of being treated like shit by his only parental figure. Tired of being jumpy. Tired of being mentally unstable. Tired of being worthless. Tired of being useless. Tired of being tired. 

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Tony stepped into the steaming water that rushed out of the faucet. Tony had taken his pocket knife from his bag. He never felt the need to let stuff go so bad in his life. He put the cold metal to his skin. Once again taking in the familiar stinging of the blade through his skin. 

There were at least a dozen other scars that littered his arm, now there’d be a dozen more. Tony knew this was an awful thing to do, but if it worked, even if only for a second, then it worked. As soon as Tony was finished with everything, including bandaging his arm and getting dressed, he left the bathroom. He had on his overly large black hoodie and a pair of dark grey sweatpants to match. 

Tomorrow was Monday, which meant school, which meant Tony would get to see the others. Mainly Bruce. Tony fell asleep with ease that night. 

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     Monday 

Tony and Steve met up with everyone else and they walked around the school. Bucky and Tony got along surprisingly well. Tony was infatuated with Bucky’s prosthetic arm, and quickly learned the back story and that it made Bucky uncomfortable talking about it. 

The bell rang. Tony headed to his homeroom class and sat down. Justin was still suspended and wouldn’t come back until Wednesday. Tony was too busy wondering what was going to happen now that his friends knew his secrets. Now that the police knew his secret. Now that his father was going to be notified that he told the ‘secret’ he was supposed to keep. But, there was nothing the teen could do now. 

During lunch, Tony got a text from his father. All he could do was stare at the little screen. ‘I will figure out where you are, and you will get punished. Maybe it’ll teach you to tell anymore’. Tony knew what he was talking about. 

“Tony...is everything okay?” Natasha asked. 

“Huh? Oh...yeah...yeah everything’s fine...fine,” Tony stuttered as he shoved his phone in the pocket of his hoodie. Natasha looked skeptical, but nonetheless left it alone. 

That text was all Tony could think about the rest of the day. When Tony got into Steve’s car, he didn’t know he was being followed. Little did he know that all hell was going to break loose. 

Chapter Text

Howard Stark watched as his son got into a silver 1970 Thunderbird. He followed the car to a small, but nice little neighborhood. He followed the car to a house, not small, but not large either. He watched as his son got out with a blond, smiles on their faces, and laughing. The blond looked familiar. Almost like-

It hit him. His son was hanging out with the Rogers family. The Rogers and the Starks used to be friends a while back. Howard was sure that Maria, when she was alive, still talked to Sarah. Why his son was staying at the Rogers was beyond him. He was furious. 

There was no one home but the two. Howard waited for a few minutes. Then, he turned off the car, got out, and stormed up to the house. 

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Tony and Steve were just getting settled to do their homework when there came a knock at the door. It sounded like a semi angry knock. Steve answered the door, what Tony saw made him freeze. 

“Anthony Edward Stark, you are coming home with me,” Howard said. 

“No he’s not,” Steve said. “And you’re not welcome here.”

The tension in the room was thick enough it couldn’t have even been cut with the sharpest knife. 

“And who are you to stop me? Let’s go Anthony.”

Tony put his head down, the smiley teen now resolved to this un-confident and terrified stance. “N..no,” Tony stuttered. His tone was quiet. 

“What was that boy? Speak up!” Howard yelled. Even Steve flinched a little. 

“I’m...not..not going with...with you,” Tony said. “You kicked me out anyway.”

Howard pushed through Steve, marching over to Tony. “Leave him alone!” Steve yelled as he tried to fight against Howard. That got him nowhere but on the floor, moaning in pain, holding his head. Howard had turned around, punching Steve, hard. 

“Stay out of my way!” Howard yelled at the same time Tony said, “Leave him alone!” 

Howard was now right in front of Tony. Steve, once he got over the pain, pulled his phone out and called the police, telling them of everything that was happening. Howard, who knew none of this, kept yelling at his son. Steve flinched at some of the words he was yelling at Tony. 

“You fucking worthless piece of shit for a son! What the hell-”

Steve’s head was pounding, not only was he hit hard, he also hit it on the floor when he fell down. It was getting harder to focus. Steve could do nothing but watch as his best friend was being yelled at and more. Anytime he moved, it would send a bout of nausea and dizziness through him. Steve was sure he had a mild concussion at the least. He pushed through the dizziness and stumbled over to where Howard was, pulling the unsuspecting man away from Tony who was huddled on the ground. Howard's icy glare turned on him, causing Steve to be rooted to the spot. 

Howard pushed Steve back, the blond fell into the wall, passing out. Once again, Howard Stark, took advantage of his son’s vulnerable position. Tony begged, pleaded, once again...it didn’t work. Howard kicked Tony in the ribs, the head, the stomach, anything he could reach. Tony felt his ribs crack painfully. 

“So my son’s a fag, eh? You like this..?”

Many things happened at once. A door was slammed open just as Howard was beginning to unbutton his jeans. Howard was ripped away from his son. Yelling was involved, Sarah Rogers came in with and expression, only a worried mother could wear. Joseph Rogers was the embodiment of fury, but not the pure anger that Tony saw from his father, it was a worried anger.

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        Tony

I could hear the blood rushing through my ears. I couldn’t stop shaking. Everyone kept trying to touch me. I couldn’t breathe, my chest was too tight, too painful to breathe. Steve was hurt because of me. Everyone around me gets hurt. No one is safe around me. I’m not even safe around me. 

I could hear someone screaming, and by the feel of my own throat, it didn’t take my brain long to realize it was myself. Hands. Someone was trying to touch me again. I curled further in on myself, my chest ached and burned. I didn’t want anyone touching me. I could still feel my father’s rough hands all over me. I could feel the blackness taking me. It was getting harder and harder to breathe. Then everything faded to black.

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  None

Tony had bruises all over his chest and abdomen. He had a grade 3 concussion which was being monitored to the best of the doctor’s abilities.Thankfully, the teen didn’t have a collapsed lung from the blows to his already bruised ribs. Steve had woken up an hour after the events that happened. He was worried about Tony, had a mild concussion, but was fine nonetheless. Tony was waking up for a few minutes every day. But the next time he woke he didn’t remember asking questions from the last time, and went back to sleep.

Finally, four days later….

Tony groaned. He reached up to move whatever was tickling his nose, only for his hand to be taken gently and put back down. “ ‘happen’?” was the incoherent, one worded question.

Steve didn’t say anything for a minute, the doctor walked in at that time. “Good to see you awake, I’m Dr. Helen Cho. Can you tell me your name?” 

“Tony Stark...wha’ ‘appened?” His words were a little more coherent, but still worrisome. It was also slightly muffled by the oxygen mask.

“When is your birthday?” Doctor Cho was dodging Tony’s question, and it was upsetting the teen. 

“May 29th. What’s with all the questions?” Tony asked, his voice still muffled by the oxygen mask, but his words were getting less slurred. 

“I have one more. Do you remember anything from the last two weeks?”

Tony frowned, a troubled expression on his face. “Is there something I should remember…?” Tony asked hesitantly. 

Doctor Cho gave a worried frown. “What’s the last thing you remember?” 

“Going to school after the long weekend-” Tony cut off abruptly, sitting up fast despite the pain it brought. “Steve,” was all he said. 

“It’s okay Tony, he’s right beside you,” Dr. Cho stated. Tony looked to his side as Sarah and Joseph Rogers walked in, behind them, Officer Coulson. 

Tony felt guilt rush through him. ‘I caused so much issues...they are probably mad at me….Steve was hurt because of me… ’ The teen thought to himself. “I’m sorry…” Tony said. ‘I should never have gotten them involved. Now he’s a danger to them too. I’m so stupid for telling anyone.’ “All of this is my fault…”

“No Tones, it’s not,” Steve said. ‘Yes, Steve. If I hadn’t of told you….or even become friends with you, we wouldn’t be in this situation. You would never have been involved.’

“None of this is your fault,” Sarah said. Tony wanted to believe them. He did.

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    Tony

I was regretting my decision to tell them...It was my fault. My fault Steve got hurt. If I hadn’t of told them...Steve wouldn’t have been thrown around like that. If I hadn’t of told them, they’d be safe. No one would have been hurt but me. Stupid. 

“Tony, there’s going to be a trial. You’re going to have to testify.” Once again I felt panic rush through me. I’m going to have to see my father again. What’s going to happen? My chest once again felt impossibly tight. It was a very familiar feeling. I could hear my heartbeat in my ear. My breathing began to get ragged and harsh. It was then that I also realized, my arm was freshly bandaged. They knew. They all knew. My breathing got worse. 

“Tony it’s okay. Just breathe with me.” Steve said softly. “In….out...It’s going to be okay.” 

I could finally take in a normal sized breath as my chest loosened. I put my knees to my chest, ignoring the pain it brought. I laid my head on my knees, wrapping my arms around my legs. I didn’t want to look anyone in the eyes. I didn’t want to look at anyone period. 

I really just kinda wanted to disappear from existence. I didn’t want to die per say...but, I didn’t really want to live either. I wanted all these problems to disappear. I wanted everything to go back to the way it was when I didn’t trust someone. I hated that I trusted them. I was stupid. I’m stupid.

I hated that I couldn’t help Steve. I’m a baby who can’t take care of himself. I’m useless. I can’t even save my friends from the one monster in my life. I can’t save myself from my demons. I can’t do anything right. I’m just a no good, worthless Stark. I don’t even deserve that name anymore. I’ve shone weakness. I don’t deserve to be a Stark. I don’t deserve to have anyone on my side. I deserve the world to be against me. I’ve never deserved anything but the beatings I got from my father. 

If I wasn’t so weak...If I wasn’t so stupid…If I wasn’t the way I was...maybe my father wouldn’t be the way he is. If I’d just listened to him, none of this would have happened. I’m ridiculously useless. I’ll never amount to anything. It’s my fault my mom’s gone...I was distracting her…

Granted...maybe it wasn’t...it wasn’t my fault she was driving drunk...but….still...If I hadn’t been distracting her with something so stupid….she’d probably be alive. 

Everything’s my fault….if I had just hung up on Steve...if I had just let myself fall...I would never be in this position in the first face. Steve wouldn’t be in this position. His parents, his kind parents wouldn’t be in this position. My father wouldn’t be in jail. Nothing would ever have gotten this bad….If I hadn’t hesitated. If I just died. If I wasn’t in this world. I changed my mind, I want to die. I don’t want to live in this hellish nightmare anymore. 

When I looked back up, no one was in the room. I was thankful for that. I just really wanted to be alone. 

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“I’m really worried about his mental state as of now. Everything with his physical wounds are fine, healing perfectly,” Dr. Cho said to the Rogers and Officer Coulson. -save for Steve who went out to talk to Natasha, Bruce, Clint, Sam, and Bucky.

They all were essentially. Tony had been through a lot. He seemed to be guilty about everything that happened. “We are as well,” Sarah Rogers said.

“Nothing much with the trial can happen until he is recovered. It’s going to be lengthy and hard, and I don’t think he’ll be up to it yet,” Dr. Cho said directing her words at Officer Coulson.

“I will get on top of that. The trial isn’t for another two days. However, there’s not much we can do to put it off any longer.”

“I understand. Do what you can. But his health needs have to come first,” she replied. 

“Affirmative.” And with that Officer Coulson left. 

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“He’s doing...okay…” Steve said. They decided to meet up at the park. 

“But he’s not. Is he?” Natasha asked. She always saw through lies. She didn’t know why she didn’t see through Tony’s sooner. 

“..No..I mean...physically he’s fine...much better than he was the first three days. But...I think he blames himself,” Steve said. 

“And how are you doing?” 

“Just a mild concussion. That man hits pretty hard…” Steve said softly. By now, the story was all over the news. 

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Tony flipped on the small TV. he flipped through the channels, finding the news one by accident. When he heard his name, he stopped. 

“-On May fourteenth, Howard Stark, CEO of Stark Industries was arrested for the endangerment of his own Son, Anthony Stark and-.”

Tony turned the TV off. Everyone knew. It was everywhere. That meant...Oh no...the Avengers knew as well. His only friends...they knew that he put Steve’s life in danger by hanging out with him. They knew that he lied to them. 

Tony began to panic again. He ripped the chords away from him. He took the IV out of his arm and it begun bleeding. Tony ran(stumbled) out of the room. He ran as far as he could for as long as he could. When he finally made it out of the hospital, there were at least three doctors chasing after him, not to mention Sarah and Joseph Rogers. Tony kept running. His arm where the IV was kept bleeding, leaving a trail of crimson blood in his wake. 

Tony’s legs couldn’t take him any further. He collapsed onto the concrete. He just wanted to lay there and die. He curled up into himself, laying in the fetal position. Someone’s arms wrapped themselves under his armpits. He was hauled to his feet. He let himself be carried back. He gave up fighting against them. There was a point in which they stopped and something was wrapped tightly around his arm where he ever so carelessly ripped out the IV. 

It was that day, that Anthony Edward Stark, finally gave up. He no longer wanted to fight. 

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A couple days later, it was finally time for Howard to go on trial. It was quick, smooth...well for the most part. As soon as it was Tony’s turn to speak, well, that’s when things went downhill a little. It was clear that Tony was nervous, scared. Howard glared, a cold, icy, glare.

“When did this start?” Howard’s lawyer asked. 

“When my mom passed away...about six months ago…,” Tony said. 

“And why didn’t you tell anyone until now?” Tony knew Howard’s lawyer was trying to get under his skin to see if he was lying. And it was working, but Tony wasn’t lying. 

“B..because I was scared to,” Tony said, his voice small, almost non-existent. 

“You were scared?” He mocked unkindly as he said it loud enough for everyone to hear. Tony averted his eyes. “Mm-hmm, and how do we know that-”

“Objection, your honor,” Peggy Carter, Tony’s lawyer, interrupted. “He is harassing my client, who if you need to be reminded is still a minor.” Her tone was calm, measured even as she spoke.

Tony’s anxiety was rising. He could barely sit still. As soon as he was finished, he sat back down. His eyes to the ground, his hands tightly closed together. 

Once the jury and the judge came back into the room, Tony was alert. “The defendant is charged with abuse and attempted sexual assault of a minor. The defendant is found…” The Judge paused, as if to create even more suspension. “Guilty of all charges and is sentenced to fifteen years in prison.”

 Tony let out a breath he didn’t even know he was holding. It was very silent before everything sprung into action. From the nervous anxiety, from the feel of his father’s cold, icy glare on his back, from the sudden movement in the room, from the held in tears, from the held in anger, from the held in panic...It was all too much for Tony. 

He felt Ms. Carter shifting beside him to get up. Tony stood up abruptly and walked out as fast as he could. He found a quiet spot by a wall, and slid down it. He covered his ears with his hands, pulling his knees up to his chest in a position 

His head pounded, his heart rate elevated, his lungs wouldn’t expand. Everything was too loud. He stuck his head between his knees, still fighting for his lungs to expand more than they were, willing for his panicked mind to shut down. Willing for the movement around him to stop. 

But, none of that happened. Everything continued on being the way it was. For what felt like an hour, Tony sat there, shaking like a leaf on a windy day. Gasping as if he had run a marathon. His hands were so tightly clenched together his knuckles were turning white. Finally, there were soft footsteps. Tony didn’t look up. He was trapped in his own mind, his thoughts rushing around, causing great panic within him. 

Steve walked gently over to where Tony sat, quiet whimpers escaped the teen. Steve slid down the wall and sat next to Tony. He didn’t say anything, he didn’t make the first move. He didn’t want to scare Tony more than he already was. 

They sat there for a good five minutes before either said anything. Tony finally looked up, his brown eyes gazing into Steve’s amazingly blue one’s. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I’m so panicky. I’m sorry I let him hurt you. I’m sorry that all this is happening.” Tony stopped for a second.

“Tony-”

“I’m not done yet,” Tony said. Steve stopped talking at the way Tony said that. “I’m sorry I’ve caused so much trouble. I’m just...sorry…” Tony finally stopped, his words fell out into the air, dissipating at the sound of a choked sob that escaped his softly parted lips. 

Steve looked at him. His face pulled into an almost horrified expression. “Don’t say that Tony. Don’t be sorry for anything. There’s nothing for you to be sorry for.”

“But-”

“No buts. There is absolutely nothing for you to be sorry for. None of this is your fault. I don’t care what you think, no one blames you,” Steve said. Tony’s face pinched together. Disbelief making his brown eyes dull slightly. 

“I blame me…” Were the words that came out of the teen’s mouth. He shut his emotions off again, his mind shutting down. The emotional turmoil too much for his already overworked mind. Steve put his arm around Tony, pulling him close. 

“I know you do, but...just know that no one else does,” was all Steve said. Tony leaned into Steve’s side. The crowd had cleared out a little now. 

“What’s going to happen now?” Tony asked, though he knew Steve didn’t have an answer. 

“I don’t know…” Steve sounded a little unsure. Tony was eleven days from being seventeen. He was still a year and eleven days from being a legal adult, meaning, he would have to be put in the foster system. Tony didn’t want the possibility of leaving New York. It would be a horrible decision. Tony didn’t want to lose what he was gaining. He actually had someone, many people actually, that truly care for him. He didn’t want to give up that feeling. Ever. 

It was a feeling he had to get used to, yes. But no, he would not ever want to lose that feeling, no matter how foreign it felt. 

Chapter Text

Tony and Steve sat there for another few minutes before someone else came along. It was Jarvis and Steve’s parents. Tony jumped up almost immediately at seeing Jarvis. It had been so long since he’d seen him. “Jarvis,” was all Tony could get out. The older male held his arms out in invitation which Tony gladly took it and threw himself into Jarvis’s arms. 

Sarah and Joseph Rogers took their son back home. Tony and Jarvis stayed like that for a while. 

“I’m so sorry I didn’t see this all sooner,” Jarvis said. 

“Don’t.” Tony let go, pushing away. “Don’t do that.”

“What do you say we go home?” 

Home. The mansion hadn’t been home for Tony in a long time. It had been a long time since Tony could call anywhere home. Maybe things would change. Tony trusted Jarvis. Tony trusted Jarvis with his life, he always had and always will. 

Tony was out of class for a few more days before he finally returned. No one said anything, but they kept glancing at him. ‘Soon this will all blow over and be forgotten...hopefully…’ Tony thought to himself. Everything was fine...well as fine as it could be, until lunch. 

“What are you snickering at, Hammer?” Tony asked glaring at Justin. 

“Oh nothing,” he said looking at Tony with a hateful glance. “Just you.”

Tony frowned. Justin passed by their table, Bruce looked like he was about to murder Justin...well now that Tony looked, they all did. “I’ve about had enough with you,” Natasha said through gritted teeth. She made a move to get up but Tony stopped her, grabbing her arm. 

“H-he’s not worth it Tasha,” Tony said his tone clearly stating that it was bothering him too, but nonetheless, Natasha sat back down. Tony, who still had the loose hold on Natasha’s arm, let go.

“Get out of my sight before no one can hold me back,” Natasha spat to Justin.

“And leave Tony alone,” Bucky said. Justin bared his teeth, but walked away. 

“You don’t have to do that, you know…” Tony started. Almost immediately there were protests.

“Yes we do. You are our friend, and we protect each other,” Steve said. 

“Yes, котенок. Listen to Steve over there, because he’s right.” Tony gave them a small, yet genuine smile. 

“Thanks guys,” Tony said. There were smiles in return. Genuine, real, happy smiles. 

Tony was thankful that he had Mrs. Hill’s class next. Their usual friendly banter was heavily missed by the dark haired teen. 

“Good afternoon class.”

There was a chorus of ‘good afternoon’s’ Tony let himself drift as she went on with notes and then into the assignment.  Only tuning back in to write something down or work out an answer. He was unusually quiet all class. Finally, the bell rang. Tony packed up his things and walked out with Clint and Sam. The three of them met up with the rest of the group. Tony spotted Jarvis’ car and bade them goodbye for the day. 

“How was your day, young sir?” Jarvis asked as Tony slid into the front seat. 

“It could have been better..,” Tony said softly. Jarvis knew better than to ask what happened, the teen’s tone told him that Tony didn’t want to talk about it. 

Once Tony and Jarvis arrived back at the mansion, Tony was hesitant to step in. He had stayed with the Rogers, and then he was at the hospital, he went straight from the hospital after he was released, and then went to the courthouse. He hadn’t actually stepped foot in the mansion since Howard kicked him out. Though, the teen pushed past his fear and passed the threshold and into the house.

 Tony took a deep breath. “I’ll be up in my room,” was what Tony said before heading up the stairs. It was weird...coming home from school and not being yelled at and thrown around the second he walked into the house. 

Once Tony reached his bedroom, he looked around. It was as neat and tidy as he’d left it. Tony sat on his bed, which was obviously recently made. He pulled out his phone, only having one thing on his mind. Rhodey. His absolute best friend. He pressed the contact, listened to it ring.

“Hello? Tony?” 

“Hey honey bear,” Tony said. 

“How’s everything going?” Tony realized that he hasn’t even come in contact with Rhodey since before his mom died. 

“It’s going….fine…” Tony struggled to find the right words. “Sorry I haven’t called in so long…”

“Don’t worry about it Tones,” Rhodey answered. “And I know when you’re lying, what happened?”

Tony hesitated before finally answering in a hushed whisper. “Dad’s in jail…” Tony was surprised Rhodey heard him.

“What? Why?” Rhodey asked. 

“Drunk driving...putting people in danger,” Tony lied. It sounded believable, to him at least. It wasn’t too far off from the truth. He did put someone in danger. 

“I’m sorry Tones, but I have to go. “Rhodey said sounding awfully upset. 

“It’s okay, I’ll talk to you later?”

“Yeah, of course.”

Rhodey hung up. Tony looked at his phone, spacing out. He didn’t know how long he had spaced out before his phone dinged, almost scaring the life out of him. It took a minute for Tony to catch his breath before he looked at his phone. Clint had texted him. 

‘Isn’t your birthday in a week?’-C

‘Yeah, why?’-T

‘No reason’-C

The text in and of itself was suspicious. Tony decided to ignore it though. He never did have good birthdays...and if he could just skip over it, he would be happier. Tony texted a quick ‘okay, whatever you say’ and began working on his homework.

About two hours later, there came a sudden knock on the door. Tony, for at least the tenth time since he got home that night, flinched. The door opened, revealing Jarvis. “Food’s ready I highly recommend you eat something as you have been turning down every offer for the past couple nights.”

Tony hated the worried sound in his voice. He was about to protest, but gave in. “Okay. I’ll be down in a minute,” the teen said. He put his homework in his bag and shuffled down to the kitchen. Jarvis, of course, already had a plate set out for Tony and himself. 

Tony sat down and poked around his plate before putting a bite into his mouth. Tony didn’t quite finish his food before his stomach decided he was done. 

Once Tony got back up to his room, he flopped on his bed. It was going to take some getting used to, not having to worry about being yelled at or beat every time he turned around. Tony was not used to the quiet. Usually, his father either was yelling at the teen, or had a meeting in his office. There was no one but himself and Jarvis in the big empty house. 

The teen let his eyes fall close. A calm, peaceful expression dawned his features as his breaths evened out. Asleep, the teen fell. 

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His father’s hands were around his neck. Howard laughed almost maniacally at his son’s fear before speaking “I should have done this when I had the chance.”

Tony fought against the hands tightening around his neck, he panicked further when he felt his body begin to grow weaker and weaker. His heart was pounding madly against his ribcage, it was almost painful. Tony’s hands dropped, his eyes rolled back up into his head, blackness was the only thing he saw before the world went silent. 

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Tony shot up in his bed, his hands immediately going for his throat. Tony was taking in gasping breaths. He couldn’t get over the feeling of his father’s hands around his neck, squeezing the life out of him...even though it was just a dream. 

Tony tried to calm himself. But nothing was working. The pure, overwhelming panic from the nightmare just didn’t want to go away. Tony laid in his bed for a while, hands over his face, breathing as slowly as he could, it took a while, but he finally got his breathing under control. 

Tony just laid there, staring at the ceiling, knowing he wasn’t going to go back to sleep anytime soon. He looked over at his clock, it was 5:36 am. Groaning, he pulled himself out of his bed. It was to get  time to get up for school anyway. 

Tony shuffled over to his dresser, grabbed out a pair of sweats and underwear, and grabbed a T-shirt. He made his way to his bathroom and turned the shower on. Making it as hot as he could stand. The teen stepped into the shower, letting out a content sigh as the water rushed over his aching muscles. Tony squeezed some shampoo in his hands and washed his hair. Tony scrubbed harshly at his body with a bar of soap until it was raw and red, an unfortunate habit he picked up after the...incident.

Tony turned off the water, ignoring the feeling in the back of his mind, ignoring the glint of the razor in the corner of his eye. He dressed himself, grabbed his bag, and went downstairs. He looked at the time. 6:00am. Tony sighed. He had about 45 minutes to chill. Jarvis was probably already awake and getting ready for the day, then he’d be down to make breakfast very soon. Tony decided he didn’t want to eat breakfast. He wasn’t very hungry anyway. Though, he did grab a small breakfast bar so that he wouldn’t worry the adult too much. 

When Jarvis finally came down the stairs, swiftly, quietly, Tony told him that he’d already eaten and was going to walk to school. It was now 6:15am. Tony had about an hour and 45 minutes till school started. Tony flipped his bag over his shoulder and headed out, not missing the worried glance he got from Jarvis. 

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Tony got out his earbuds just as he left the house, plugged them into his phone, and turned on music. He hummed along to the music, walking slowly, trying to clear his head. Tony got to the school sooner than he intended. He still had about 35 minutes before the first bell. There were very few people there, so Tony sat down in the cafeteria, headphones blasting music, ignoring the world. 

Until a hand was placed on his shoulder. 

Tony flinched so hard, he fell backward onto the ground. Hitting his head on the ground. “Ouch,” he groaned out. 

“Oh shoot, I’m sorry.” It was Clint. “I didn’t mean to frighten you.”

“It’s okay,” Tony said, taking Clint’s hand. Clint pulled him up. 

“I tried calling you, but then I realized you had earbuds in. I really am sorry,”

Tony rubbed the back of his head, the pain beginning to numb out. “It’s really okay,” Tony said. 

Clint sat down next to Tony, the two of them sitting in silence. Natasha came bounding in next. Soon after Sam, Thor, and then finally, Steve. They all sat down until the first bell, talking. 

“So, how’s everything going?” Steve asked Tony. 

Tony hesitated. ‘..’s fine.” He didn’t mention the fact that he’d been up since almost five o’clock due to a hell of a nightmare. Homeroom was Tony’s most hated class, well that and history. Even though you basically did nothing for fifteen minutes, he hated his teacher. Mr. James was on the mean side. He didn’t like it when people got too loud. He didn’t like it if you weren’t being productive. He didn’t like Tony. Mr. James thought that Tony was a self-absorbed brat, just because he was a Stark. The two of them never really got along. Mr. James was also Tony’s history teacher. 

Tony’s history class was right after homeroom, and he had it with none other than Justin Hammer who seemed to have it out for Tony for a reason the dark haired teen could not even begin to understand why.When Justin walked in is when the hell started. Despite his -once in a lifetime quietness- he kept sending glares to Tony, who attempted to ignore it.  Something was aimed at the back of his head. Tony looked down at the ground to find a crumpled piece of paper. He picked it up, un-crumpled it and looked at it. 

‘Loser. Dear old daddy didn’t even love you. Maybe you should just kill yourself and be done.’

Tony crumpled it back up with a sigh. Tony tried to ignore it, but the words kept floating around in his mind all class. Tony got rid of one of his demons. But, he still had the others. Justin. The voices in his head that were always screaming that he wasn’t good enough. 

‘Just a few more hours…’ Tony thought. ‘Just a few more hours and I can leave this hell hole again.’

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Tony was doing just fine in history, taking notes, doing his work. Until another note hit him square in the middle of his back. Tony didn’t bother reading the note, as he stuck it in his bag and turned around to face Justin. 

“Hammer if you don’t stop throwing paper at me, I swear to god-”

“Mr. Stark! Enough!” Mr. James yelled. Tony gave a growl at Justin who was smirking. 

“Mr. James, Tony just turned around and threatened me, I wasn’t even doing anything!” Justin said. 

“That’s not true!” Tony argued. 

“Enough you two!” Mr. James yelled. “Mr. Stark, I’ve about had it up to here with your misbehavior.” He held up his thumb and pointer finger really close together. Tony stared at him in disbelief and anger.

“I’ll have you know, that I have been doing absolutely nothing. Justin is the one who keeps throwing crumpled pieces of paper at me,” Tony ground out in anger. “And for the record, I hate you.”

Tony didn’t mean to let that last part slip. It was on the top of his mind and he was too upset to have a filter. Mr. James peachy face turned bright red. “Mr. Stark, the office. Now,” he said with controlled anger. 

“Fine.” Tony got up, grabbed his bag and stormed out of the room. On his way to the office, he mumbled. “Stupid bastard. I always get punished for something I didn’t do.”

Tony had no idea why Mr. James hated him so much. He didn’t know why his father hated him so much. He didn’t know why Justin hated him so much. But on the contrary, he didn’t know why Steve, Tasha, Clint, Thor, Bucky, and Sam liked him. He wasn’t a very like-able person. 

He was messed up. Abused by his own father. Bullied constantly. Depressed. Not really suicidal...but sometimes it felt that way. He had really bad anxiety. He would cower in fear if anyone even so slightly raised their voices at him. He had scars...both mental and physical. 

Tony finally reached the office, stopping his internal monologue when he bumped into the door. “What did you do this time Anthony?” Principal Fury asked. 

“I didn’t actually do anything this time...well...I might have told Mr. James that I hated him...but…” Tony said. Believe it or not, Tony got along well with Principal Fury. 

Principal Fury sighed. “You gotta watch your mouth. What happened to bring it on?”

“He got onto me for yelling at Justin, who was throwing paper at me.”

The older male pinched his nose as he closed his eyes, looking an awful lot like an exhausted parent. “I’ll settle this, how about you go-”

“I’m not going back to his class. Besides there’s only like...five minutes till the bell rings,” Tony argued planting himself in a chair. The principal sighed once more, waving Tony off with his hand before disappearing back into his actual office. 

Tony waited for the bell to ring. It was time for gym, so Tony met up with Steve. The two of them had gym class, along with Thor and Natasha….and of course Justin Hammer. Tony swore up and down he had every class with the asshole. 

Tony didn’t act like anything that was on his mind bothered him. He just ignored the thoughts running rampant in his racing mind. They stretched and then a few laps around the gym. Tony mostly running with Steve….well...trying to keep up. Steve had always been a fast runner. Steve had always been good at everything as Tony noticed. Even when they weren’t really friends, Tony noticed this. 

As soon as the laps were up, they took a short break and then played dodge ball. Justin, of course, had it out for Tony the second the game started. Tony picked up a ball, all the while dodging others and threw it point blank at Justin. 

‘Goal!’ Tony thought. Justin glared at Tony and sat out. Soon, the game ended, class was over, and they went to the locker rooms to dress out. Justin had a lot to say to Tony, but the chocolate haired teen ignored it. That is...until Justin threw out insults. One in particular.

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          Tony

I was ignoring Justin. He was saying stuff too quietly for anyone else to hear, and it was a zoo in the locker room. Most of the guys in here are childish. I was doing great in ignoring him, until he threw out that word. How he knew I wasn’t straight was a mystery to me. I let my eyes snap up to him in surprise. “W-what did y-you just call me?” He gave a smug look, and even though I knew I heard him, my brain still had a hard time wrapping around it. The bell rang. Everyone else left, but Steve, Justin and I. 

Steve grabbed my arm. “Come on Tony. Ignore him.”

I let Steve drag me out. Justin’s words still fresh on my mind, making it hard to think about anything else. To lunch it is…

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          None

Tony sat down, lunch in hand. Bruce had made it a point to bring Tony food, even if Tony wasn’t hungry, he’d still make the teen eat at least something, even if it was an apple or a slice of an apple. Tony found that it made Bruce happier and less tense. It didn’t take too long for Tony to learn about the others. Bruce had a similar past to him, but was ripped from what he called normal when he was put in foster care. The now adopted teen, though, had said that he was much happier now. 

Clint didn’t have the best relationship with his father, but he loved his mother. Tony was quick to learn that the sandy haired teen hated his full name, Clinton. Natasha didn’t even know her parents, well her biological ones. Bucky’s prosthetic arm was a touchy subject, Tony learned that very quickly. Bucky was Steve’s childhood friend, the two were inseparable. Sam just moved to New York a year ago. Thor was from Norway. He came here as a transfer student at the beginning of the year. And Steve. Amazing Steve with his alluring bright blue eyes. Steve was perfect. An amazing family. He was the captain of the football team. He was smart. Amazing. Absolutely perfect. 

Tony munched on the apple that Bruce shoved in his face. “-ony, Tony,” Steve’s voice cut through Tony’s inner monologue. 

“Huh? What?”

“I asked you what Justin said earlier,” Steve said. Tony didn’t want to have this conversation. 

“Nothing Steve. Absolutely nothing.”

“That’s a lie and you know it.”

“Nothing of importance,” Tony said. “It’s okay. Don’t worry about it.” 

Steve knew better than to push. The last thing they wanted was for Tony to be upset with them. They were worried, Tony was closing off his emotions again, and that was never a good sign. 

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Time skip-end of the day

Tony sat at his desk and did the homework he had. All the while thinking about what Justin said, and what he didn’t say. Regardless of all his friends, Tony felt truely alone. He felt like he couldn’t talk to anyone. He burdened them all with his issues already. He couldn’t be bothered to bring his own lunch, so Bruce usually brought him some. And, Tony felt bad because of it. Even though it was Bruce’s choice, Tony felt like it was his own fault that Bruce even had to be bothered to bring him food. Tony would never wish his presence on anyone, he wished he had never met them. 

Though, there was a little part of him that was thrilled that he’d found some amazing people. Yes, he had Rhodey and Pepper, but ...he didn’t get to see them as often as he would have liked. They were apart of him, but hardly ever there. It wasn’t their fault by any means, they were busy people. With Rhodey in the military and Pepper off to a private law school, or something. Tony could never remember what it was she was going after. 

It was then, in that moment, that Tony knew...he didn’t want to live anymore. He didn’t want to burden his friends anymore. He didn’t want to live in this cruel, cruel world with the threat of his father. He was trying his best. He really was, but...he was falling apart. 

Would they really be better off without him…? 

Chapter Text

‘Would they be better off without him…?’

Tony shook his head. Trying to get rid of the thoughts. 

‘Wouldn’t they be happier without your crazy anxiety attacks…?’

“No…” Tony gave an unsure, verbal answer to the voices. 

‘Oh but they would. They would be happier if they didn’t have to constantly worry about you.’

Tony sighed and closed his eyes. Letting his head rest on the desk. ‘What is wrong with me…?’ He thought to himself. Tony felt like crying in that moment as he looked at the second note that Justin threw at him. Yes...he hated to admit it, but he kept the note. 

‘If I were you, I’d want to kill myself too. Stupid fag.’

Tony read down. ‘I know about your little crush on a certain Steve Rogers. Why don’t I tell him?’ Tony froze for a second, then continued reading. ‘I see the way you make googly eyes at him. But guess what Stark, he doesn’t love you back. He never will. You’re dear old daddy didn’t love you, why should he?’

Tony crumpled it up and chucked it at the wall. As soon as it hit the wall, his phone rang. He picked it up. “Hello…?”

“How’s about I get some things together and come visit? I’ve been dying to see you and your birthday is coming up.”

Tony gave a soft smile. “Sure. When are you gonna be here?” 

“Probably Saturday.”

“See ya then Honey Bear. I’ll catch you later, I’ve got loads of homework.” Tony just wanted to get the conversation done and over with. He had too much on his mind and the last thing he needed was for Rhodey to think he was weak as well. It was, after all, what he thought about himself. Tony hung up, placed his phone back on his desk, scooted out the chair and flopped onto his bed. He covered his face with a pillow as he tried to clear his mind of the thoughts that fought to overpower him. 

                                          *Line break*

          Tony

I couldn’t keep my thoughts straight. The things that Justin said were on my mind. Perfect Steve with his stupidly handsome face and stupidly entrancing blue eyes. It didn’t take me long to recognize that feeling as love. Yes, I Tony Stark, am completely and utterly head over heels for the perfect Steve Rogers. 

‘You don’t deserve him. You don’t deserve any of them.’ The thoughts kept running through my head. I know that...I know I don’t deserve them. I don’t deserve anything I have now. 

I got up off my bed and wandered the too big room. Not sure what to do anymore. I grabbed my phone and left the room, letting Jarvis know I was going to take a walk. 

With my phone in hand I left out the door without another word. I didn’t really have a set goal in mind, but I found myself at the park. I sat down on a swing, pulled my phone out of my pocket. 

Flipping it in the air a few times before opening Steve’s contact. I let my fingers hover over the call button, hesitating. I settled on texting him. 

‘How’s it going?”

‘Good. Is everything okay?’

‘Yeah. Everything’s fine.’

That’s how the conversation went. I didn’t have the guts to tell him. I guess...it’s inevitable that he finds out because of Justin, and he probably doesn’t even like me back and I just don’t think I can take that rejection…

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    None

It wasn’t until past eight o’clock that Tony returned home. Jarvis was in a tizzy about Tony missing dinner...again. 

“Young sir, you have missed dinner once again,” Jarvis said sounding minorly upset. 

“I-I’m sorry J. I promise I’ll eat something. I’m just not all that hungry.” Tony walked into the kitchen and made himself a sandwich as soon as Jarvis calmed down a little and wasn’t quite so worried. As Tony ate his sandwich, he let his mind wander. Bad idea. The voices began to come back.

‘Steve will never love you.’

‘You’re just a broken mess. Who could ever love you?’ 

‘Your father’s a monster, who’s to say you won’t turn out exactly like him?’

Tony shuttered. “I’ll never be like him,” He said against the thoughts in his head. Tony put his sandwich back on his plate. He had only taken about three bites. Now to nauseous to even think about eating, Tony put the barely eaten sandwich in the trash and put the plate in the sink. He then headed back up to his room, plugged his phone into the charger and promptly fell asleep. 

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    Time Skip

Tony rolled out of bed, lazed around, before finally getting ready for school. Jarvis insisted that he be drove to school. It was finally friday. Tony’s birthday was on Monday. Clint was insisting that he goes over to Steve’s house on Sunday. Rhodey was coming on Saturday and would be there all weekend. 

Everything was going fine. Great, even. Except for the constant self hate that Tony felt for himself. He was also nervous because his birthday was coming up. Tony hated his birthday with a burning passion. He didn’t have any good memories from any of his birthdays. His mom usually made it pretty stand-able. Tony was almost afraid, but then he remembered, his father wasn’t going to be there. 

Tony hoped that this birthday would be better this time. It was going to be different. But maybe that was for the better. 

Tony walked into class. The day was going by quickly. Justin was kind of leaving him alone. He hadn’t told Steve yet, so Tony was sure everything was going to be okay. 

And truth be told, Tony had a good Friday. Rhodey was coming over on Saturday. He was going over to Steve’s on Sunday. He’d bring Rhodey along. Time Skip

Friday night. Tony was home, waiting for the arrival of his absolute best friend. Once there came a knock at his door, he knew that Rhodey was there. Jumping up excitedly and letting him in, he noticed Pepper was with Rhodey. 

“Pep! Rhodey! Long time no see guys,” Tony said. He made a motion and in a second he was wrapped in Pepper’s warm arms. Then Rhodey’s.  

The three went up to Tony’s room. The three of them stayed up most of the night catching up. Tony completely avoided the topic of his father. 

“So Tones, you wanna tell us what happened?” Rhodey asked. Tony’s stomach dropped. Pepper was looking at him with intent, as was Rhodey.  An icy feeling washed over Tony. 

“I...I don’t...I don’t wanna talk about it,” Tony stuttered out. 

Rhodey, noticing Tony’s discomfort, dropped the subject. “Okay. We don’t have to,” he said, his tone worried. 

The rest of the night was smooth. They all finally crashed at around four o’clock in the morning, sleeping until almost 1:30 in the afternoon. Tony was the first to wake up. He laid in his bed awake, playing on his phone until Rhodey and Pepper woke up. 

They had fun all day. Playing games, talking, eating an amazing lunch made by Jarvis. Tony, surprisingly, actually ate it. It wasn’t like the teen was trying to starve himself. He usually only ate when he was about to kneel over from low blood sugar. He really didn’t have half a mind to worry Rhodey and Pepper, who already seemed to be worried about him. 

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“Hey guys, I hope you are okay with going to see some of my other friends tomorrow,” Tony said. 

“Sure. I don’t see why not,” Rhodey said. Pepper agreed. Tony was happy. The rest of the time they spent playing games. Pepper even baked some cookies. 

Time Skip

Today was Sunday. Tony, Pepper, and Rhodey got ready to head to Steve’s house. Tony drove them to Steve’s house, they took Rhodey’s car. When They got there, they were greeted by Sarah Rogers who let them in. 

“Guys this is Steve’s mom. Mrs. Rogers, these two are Rhodey and Pepper,” he said. “Where’s Stevie?”

“Steve is in his room. You are welcome to head up there. Oh and, happy birthday Tony.” 

“Thanks.” Rhodey and Pepper followed Tony to Steve’s room. Clint and Bucky were already there. “Hey guys. I hope you don’t mind that I brought along some guests,” Tony said. Clint, Steve, and Bucky looked up. 

“Hey Tones. And no, we don’t mind. Who are they?” Steve asked. 

“This is Rhodey and Pepper. Rhodey, Pepper, this is Steve.” He pointed to Steve. “Bucky and Clint,” he said pointing them out. “You’ll all get along well...I hope.”

One by one everyone arrived. Later, Steve’s mom came in asking if Tony would come with her. Tony looked around confusedly, but complied nonetheless. They went to the store, but Tony was confused as to why only he went. 

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    Meanwhile…

“Okay guys, we have about thirty minutes to get this place ready,” Clint said excitedly. So, they worked, cleaning up and decorating. Setting up the cake on the table. They were finally done just before Tony and Sarah walked in. Tony looked around, the house was dark. “Did everyone leave…?” 

Sarah laughed. “No darling, they are right here.” She flipped on the light. 

“Happy Birthday!” 

To say Tony was slightly frightened was a bit of an understatement. Tony looked around, brown eyes wide. Then his surprised look melted into a genuine grin. 

The party lasted a while, Pepper and Natasha got along very well. Sadly, Rhodey and Pepper had to leave early. 

“I don’t want to leave you hear without a ride home,” Rhodey said. 

“It’s okay, we can give him a ride home,” Sarah said politely. 

“Thanks for having us ma’am,” Rhodey said. 

“Thanks for being here.” She smiled. The two of them left, but not before saying goodbye to Tony. 

They stepped outside onto the porch. “Do you really have to leave?” Tony asked. 

“I’m sorry Tones. We do. I hope it is soon that we see each other again,” Rhodey said, he gave Tony a hug. Pepper gave him a hug next. 

“It was nice seeing you again Tony. I’m gonna miss you,” she said softly. 

“I’ll miss you too Pep. And you as well Rhodey. Don’t hesitate to call anytime!” Tony said. Rhodey and Pepper left. Tony went back inside. Since they had school tomorrow, the party ended earlier than they all wanted when Sarah said something.

“Bye guys,” Tony said. Everyone was leaving. Tony was getting ready to go. He took this moment. This one moment to tell Steve. 

“Hey Steve...before I leave...can I up...talk to you…?” 

“Sure,” Steve said. “What about?”

They were in Steve’s room. No one else was there. Sarah was getting cleaning up before taking Tony home.

“I um...well…”

Tony couldn’t say it. Steve was looking at him with curious blue eyes. Tony took a deep breath, closed the distance between Steve and himself, stood on his tip toes and placed a small kiss on the side of Steve’s nose. It wasn’t very well managed, sloppy was the right word. Steve froze, looking at Tony with wide disbelieving eyes. 

“And my question is answered.” Tony made a move to turn around, but his wrist was grabbed. 

“And it answered mine too,” Steve said. A soft expression replaced the surprised one. It was Tony’s turn to be surprised. 

“You…?” Tony didn’t even have to finish. 

“Yeah.”

A smile dawned Steve’s features. Steve’s amazingly beautiful, handsome, features. It lit up his whole face. “You’re amazing,” Tony found himself saying. 

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Tony woke up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat. He couldn’t remember the nightmare, but it was pretty awful. Too tired to try to keep his eyes open, after a quick drink of water and a short to the bathroom, Tony went back to sleep. 

Waking up to his blaring alarm, Tony groaned. Today was going to be terrible. Tony could already tell. He went through his morning routine in a haze. Took a granola bar with him and headed to school. 

Time Skip--Last class

Tony was getting ready to head to Mrs. Hill’s class when he was grabbed by the collar of his shirt and pulled backwards. “I knew it! I knew he was a fag!” Justin yelled to his followers. Class had already started. Tony was pushed down onto the ground. 

“W-what?” Tony asked not fully understanding as he tried to pull himself up again. 

“You are dating Steve Rogers. I didn’t know someone like him could stoop down and date someone like you . I bet he’s just doing it because he’s afraid he will hurt your feelings and poor ol’ Steve is too nice to turn you down. Actually, I bet it’s because you are bribing him to go out with you.” 

“That’s-” Tony was cut off with a harsh kick to his stomach. He curled in on himself. 

“You’ll never be good enough for him. You’ll never be good enough for anyone. You are stupid and worthless. Why don’t you do everyone a favor and go kill yourself already. No one wants you here. Not a single person.” 

That hit home. It was the final blow before Tony actually shattered completely. He flinched hard. His heart ached. But...there was a part of him that somehow knew Justin was right. No one wanted him around. No one needed him. His father hated him. 

Tony was left on the floor, not able to move, not able to breathe. God only knows how long he laid there before he finally was able to get up.

He walked in late to Mrs. Hill’s class. Clint and Sam gave him a weird look. “Tony any particular reason you are,” she glanced at her watch, “22 minutes late to class?”

“No-” His voice was shaky. “No reason at all.”

Tony took his seat in the back, ignoring the worried glances he was getting from Sam and Clint. The class went by slowly. Too slowly for Tony. 

‘You’ll never be good enough for him.’

‘You’re stupid and worthless.’

‘Why don’t you do everyone a favor and kill yourself.’

Tony’s thought process stopped. He ignored the lesson. He stared off into space. As soon as the bell rang, Tony was the first person to leave. He didn’t even bother waiting for Clint and Sam. He just left. He continued walking until he was stopped by Natasha, Thor, and Steve. 

“Hey-....Tony is everything okay?” Steve asked noticing the distant expression. Tony put on his best effort of a smile. 

“Yeah. Just lots of things to do. Gotta head home…”

“Okay. Text ya later?” Steve said, though his worry did not melt away. 

“Maybe,” was Tony’s reply. 

Tony walked, he walked until his shaky legs couldn’t take it anymore. He let himself collapse on the ground. The words from his father, from himself, from Justin invaded his mind. 

‘Worthless. You should have known that none of that would last.’

‘Stupid.’

‘Why don’t you just go kill yourself and be done.’

‘If dear old daddy doesn’t love you...who would?’

‘No one wants to be around an asshole.’

‘Worthless piece of shit.’

Tony pulled harshly on his hair. Letting loose a small whimper before standing up again, with a purpose. His eyes were lifeless, full of sadness. His face hiding his emotions. Justin’s bullying had started to get worse. 

The emotional turmoil Tony was going through was vastly greater than he was used to. Usually, he could push it down, but now it was swelling; up greater than his poor mind could handle. 

Finally home, Tony grabbed his phone out of his bag. He sat down gingerly on the edge of his bed. It was crazy, how someone could be fine one day, and completely not fine the next. Tony stared at his phone for a minute before unlocking it and opening the camera. He set his phone down after he pressed the record button. 

“H-hey guys. I guess...this is it, huh?” He paused, trying to hold in his emotions. “I’m really sorry. I feel like I’ve been nothing but a burden to you guys.”

Tony picked at the sticker on the edge of his desk. “God, I’m such an idiot…” he whispered. “Well, you won’t have to deal with me anymore. Sometimes, it just seems as though nothing I do is good enough. You know, it’s funny how, even though my father isn’t here, he can still mess with me and my stupid fucked up brain.” Tony let loose something between that of a laugh and a sob. “It sucks, when the only person you look up to calls you worthless and a disappointment.”

Tony fidgeted with his hands. “I just-” he broke off. “I just can’t take it anymore. Everything is just...overwhelming...and I-.” A fit of sobs overcame him. He couldn’t bring himself to say anything else as he pressed the ‘end record’ button. 

Tony opened the group chat. 

“Hey guys. I’m just...really sorry for everything.”-T

He sent the message and got up, walked around his room. He thought about sending the video. Though, he thought that was going to take up too much of his quickly depleting energy to do anything.

 There were three texts from Clint, and Natasha. Each. Bucky had texted him five times. The group chat was being spammed. Sam had also texted him once. Steve texted him several times. He ignored it all, turned his phone off and flopped onto his bed. He put his face into a pillow, holding onto it as hard as he could. 

Everything Justin said about him. Everything his father said about him. it was all running around in his head. Continuously. He couldn’t make them stop. The voices were getting louder and louder, making him unable to even think properly. 

‘Are you stupid!? You shouldn’t have even tried to bring that up!’

‘No one can love someone who is broken.’

‘Stupid fag.’

Tony let loose a sob. His heart ached painfully. The overwhelming sadness squeezed his chest. It was too much for his mind to handle. 

‘I want the pain to stop…’ he thought to himself. ‘Please just stop…’

Tony sat up and walked to his desk, rummaging through the drawer, he found his knife. It was just a small pocket knife, but sharp nonetheless. 

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Jarvis knew something was wrong when Tony walked through the door. He thought it best to give the teen a little time alone before he went up and asked questions. Jarvis cared deeply for Tony, as if the teen was his own son. And to be frank, Tony was Jarvis’ son in all but blood. Jarvis cared for him, even when Maria was alive. 

Jarvis finished dusting everything and finally made his way up the stairs. What he would see next would shock him for the rest of his life. 

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Steve was worried. Tony didn’t seem right. He was distant, had a certain look in his eyes. And then he just left. They were all worried for the teen. Tony was ignoring everything they sent to him, all their texts. All their calls. And it just wasn’t like him. 

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Tony placed the metal knife against his wrist. All he needed to do now was go deep along the vein. He pressed it down hard enough for the tip to poke through and create a droplet of blood. Then he dragged it up his arm, pressing as hard as he could. His hands started to shake. There was immense pain. Tony whimpered as his breathing started to become irregularly fast, making it as quiet as possible. He switched the knife in his hands. He did the same on his other arm, just not as deep. Blood dripped from his arm to the floor. Well, dripped was an understatement. It flowed onto the floor. Tony’s knees buckled from underneath him and he fell to the floor. He was in the midst of a panic attack now, which caused the blood to gush out faster and harder. 

His vision was getting hazy, blurry. Whimpers and soft cries fell from his open lips. He didn’t bother holding it back anymore. 

The door opened, a worried looking Jarvis entered the room. When his eyes found Tony a horrified expression caught his features. Giving a yell of surprise, he scrambled around. He found a bandage and pulled out his phone. While he spoke frantically to get help, he worked on tightly bandaging Tony’s arms. 

“Don’t you dare fall asleep Tony. Don’t you dare.” That was the first time Jarvis ignored politeness. This was not a time to be polite. Tony’s eyes were slowly shutting on their own accord. His breath was getting slower and slower as he began to lose his battle with consciousness. 

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Tony

Seeing Jarvis’ worried face broke me even more. Hearing him tell me not to fall asleep, it was a horrible blow. My thoughts were hazy. I felt lightheaded and nauseous. My eyelids were heavy. 

All I could think was ‘I’m sorry’ I couldn’t speak, my mouth wouldn’t form words. There was too much pain. Too much nausea. Too much light-headedness. I heard sirens wailing. They were getting louder and louder. I felt myself being picked up. The world spun and I fell into a dark pit of blackness. 

Chapter Text

All I could think was ‘I’m sorry’ I couldn’t speak, my mouth wouldn’t form words. There was too much pain. Too much nausea. Too much light-headedness. I heard sirens wailing. They were getting louder and louder. I felt myself being picked up. The world spun and I fell into a dark pit of blackness. 

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When Steve went home, he told his mom that he was worried about Tony and wanted to go check on him. He only worried further when they arrived at the Stark mansion and there was an ambulance and a worried, blood covered Jarvis talking to an officer. Steve got out of the car as fast as he could. “Mr. Jarvis Sir? What happened? Is Tony-” Steve cut off when Jarvis glanced at him. 

“You must be Mr. Rogers. Tony’s very fond of you…” Jarvis said his voice cut off with a small sob. The ambulance sped off, sirens wailing. Jarvis finished up with the officer and scurried to his car, Steve in tow. 

“Steve come on,” Sarah said. “We’ll meet you at the hospital,” she said, her attention directed at Jarvis. She pulled Steve, who followed. Off to the hospital they went. 

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“He’s still losing a lot of blood. Get that bandaged up!” One of the paramedic’s yelled to the other. There were two, rushing around trying to get Tony stable. 

“The ulnar artery is nicked,” the other supplied. “Heart rate is low, breathing rate fast. He’s going into shock.”

The monitor that was letting off slow but irregular beeps, emitted a monotone. The paramedic cursed and began CPR. 

“Charge paddles to two hundred.” 

“Clear!” 

They paused for a second, when nothing happened they got back to work. “Charge paddles to 260.” 

Again. And again. “How long has he been down?” 

“Almost eight minutes.” 

“Dammit. Charge paddles to 360.” 

This went on for several more minutes. Then finally…

*beep...beep...beep* was heard. The paramedic let loose a relieved sigh, but their work wasn’t done. When they finally arrived at the hospital, They rushed around. 

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“-and I don’t even know what happened...but I found him and...he’s tried to…” Jarvis couldn’t say it, but he knew what Jarvis was trying to say. Steve texted Clint, Natasha, Bucky, Thor, Sam, and Bruce, letting them know what was going on. 

They all arrived as quickly as they could. A doctor came out, looking grim, but at the same time, relieved. 

“Family of Anthony Stark?” 

“Where right here,” Jarvis said. Steve, Clint, Thor, and Bruce swarmed the doctor and began asking questions. 

“Is he going to be okay?”

“Can we see him?” 

“What happened?” 

“Is he going to be okay?”

Many questions were repeated. “Kids!” Sarah yelled. “Give the woman a chance to speak,” she said in a softer tone. 

“I’m Dr. Helen Cho. Mr. Stark-”

“Tony. He hates being called Mr. Stark,” Steve interrupted. 

“Tony,” Dr. Cho corrected. “Has suffered some blood loss, but not enough for us to be too majorly worried. The wounds are, in fact, self inflicted. Right now he is undergoing a blood transfusion to replace the blood he lost.” She was speaking directly at Jarvis. “He did flat-line two times, we nearly lost him, but he’s going to pull through.” 

“May I see him?” Jarvis asked. 

“Yes, he is resting right now, but you may. I recommend only a few of you go at a time, I’m not sure he will be up for many visitors yet.” Dr. Cho said. 

“Can we all go...just this once…?” Steve asked. His blue eyes wide and full of tears. “We all need to see that he’s okay...please?”

Dr. Cho looked to be pondering. “Oh alright...just keep your voices quiet,” she gave in at their worried faces. 

So, the entire group followed her to a good sized room. There weren't enough chairs for all of them, but they were used to being up close and personal with one another. They were best friends after all. They were like their own little family. 

When Steve saw Tony, he about broke down. Stopping in his tracks, choking back a sob. He looked so pale and small, being swallowed by the white sheets. 

There was a machine monitoring his vitals, a small IV in on the back of his hand. And oxygen mask over his face. His face looked so relaxed, despite the situation. His chest rose and fell rhythmically, slowly, signaling sleep. Steve felt a gentle hand on his back. Coaxing him to sit in the other chair next to Tony’s bed. 

“Shhh sweetie. Shhh. It’s going to be okay. Just breathe,” Sarah said soothingly. Jarvis was on the other side. Steve hadn't rea;ized he was crying until after he was sat down.

“You are a pain in the behind Tony...you know that…” He said. It wasn’t heated at all, not venomous. Only full of absolute fondness. Tony was Jarvis’ surrogate son. Jarvis took the teen under his wing the second he was born. 

Steve looked at Tony. There was an emotion in his eyes through the mist of sadness that swelled in those blue orbs. 

“I’m glad he has you all to take care of him,” Jarvis said suddenly. “He’s never had many friends…”

“We will always be there for him,” Natasha said with a sad smile. The atmosphere was tense, but there was a sense of relief as well. Tony was alive and breathing, but there was still that unsureness as to how he would react once he awoke. 

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There were nurses coming in every fifteen minutes, checking Tony’s blood pressure and the rest of his vitals. Tony was put under mild sedation because, as Dr. Cho put it, just for precaution. 

Tony had dark bags under his eyes, a stark(No pun intended…) contrast against the paleness of his face. 

It was about two hours before Tony finally woke up. 

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My senses came to awareness. I felt something tickling my nose, a gentle stream of air. I heard an annoying beeping sound that beeped in time with my heart. Then, with an almost sickening realization, I snapped my eyes open. ‘No no no. I can’t be...no they...oh god...Steve...And Jarvis...and...oh god….’ My thoughts were jumbled. I didn’t dare move anything but my eyes. I saw Mrs. Rogers standing behind Steve with a worried look. Jarvis was resting his eyes on the other chair. Steve...amazing Steve who deserves more than I’ve given him, was looking very distressed. Bruce had a troubled expression. Natasha was surprisingly showing some emotions. Bucky was sitting on the ground by Steve. Clint was under Natasha, his face was twisted. It was quiet in the room. The only sounds were the stupidly annoying monitor and the sounds of soft breathing. 

I wanted to say something. But, I found myself unable to. Not because of the stupid mask on my face. Not because my throat was dry and scratchy, but because of the huge lump there. I knew if I tried to say something, I’d cry. I reached up to take the oxygen mask off, the damn thing was tickling my nose and bothering me. 

“Leave that be, Tony,” came a soft voice. Jarvis. I let my eyes wander to his. I felt eyes on me. Suddenly, I felt self conscious. 

I pulled at the mask on my face again. It was uncomfortable. “Off,” was all I could get out. My throat was sore and dry. The door opened, revealing a woman I’ve seen before but couldn’t place her name. 

“Good to see you awake, Tony. I’m Dr. Helen Cho. You may take it off, it was just for precautionary measures,” she said softly. “I’m just going to check your vitals and I’ll be out of your hair.”

She did exactly that. Steve watched her like a hawk, calming only slightly when Bucky placed a hand on his shoulder. “I would assume you would like some water?” She asked.

I nodded, but it made my head spin a little. I looked down at my hands, I refused to meet any of their eyes. There was a heavy sigh. “Tones...why...why didn’t you tell us it was that bad…?” Steve asked. The absolute hopelessness in his voice wrapped itself around my heart and squeezed. I felt his eyes on me. I felt all of their eyes on me. 

I fidgeted with my hands, my oh so shaky hands. “I-” I cut off. I didn’t know what to say. None of them deserved to be here, worrying about me. They deserved so much more than me. I’m so stupid and broken. 

The door opened once more, I wasn’t bothered to look up. There was a straw in my face, I begrudgingly took a sip. After the initial sip, I realized how thirsty I really was. I took a few more greedy sips before it was gently removed from my mouth. “Take it easy, don’t wanna make yourself sick,” Jarvis said. 

I nodded, then finally let myself look at each and everyone of them. They looked tired. Steve had the sad expression of a kicked puppy. My heart couldn’t take it. “S-Steve...I-”

“Don’t...just please...don’t say you’re sorry…” he gently grabbed my hand. I could barely see through the tears that blurred my vision, but his blue eyes were misty as well. Oh, how I longed to jump out of this bed and into his arms. My cheeks felt wet. New tears slid down them, plopping onto the bed sheet. I sniffed. 

Suddenly, there were arms around me. They were careful enough not to disrupt anything. I cried into Steve’s arms. The smell of his cologne comforted me. “I really am though…” I mumbled into his chest, my voice still scratchy. 

“I know.” Steve moved to pull away but, despite the pain, I reached out and latched onto his wrist. 

“Don’t,” was all I could manage, Steve made himself comfortable beside me and I held onto his hand. 

“Okay.”

There was silence in the room. Then everyone started talking to me at once. 

“Why didn’t you tell us you were hurting so bad?”

“Why?”

“What happened?” 

“Was it Justin?” 

“That asshole, I’m gonna kill him.”

“Anthony, we are friends, please next time don’t hesitate to talk to us.”

“You scared the literal hell out of all of us.”

“Don’t do that again.” 

Trying to keep up with what all of them said was probably the first thing I did wrong. Not only was I feeling awfully guilty for scaring them, I could also feel the panic that was steadily rising, pooling in the pit of my stomach. 

“Guys!” I don’t know who it was, but someone yelled. It didn’t sound like Jarvis. It didn’t sound like Steve or Mrs. Rogers. Bruce. “Can’t you see doing that is making everything worse!?” 

Everyone stared at Bruce. Usually quiet, none of us have ever actually heard him yell. I took the moment of shocked silence to talk. “I’m sorry ” I put more emphasis on the word sorry. I really did mean it. I didn’t think I could feel more guilty. It’s my fault. It’s always my fault. I blinked harshly, trying to keep the tears from falling. 

“Oh, Tony….No...we’re sorry...just...we care about you a lot and..we just hate to see you hurting like this…” Clint said. 

“We shouldn’t have done that.”

“Yes, Anthony. We are truly sorry,” Thor said. 

“It’s fine guys…” I said. I took a shaky breath. My eyelids were getting heavy. I was tired. “Really…” My voice faded off as I fell asleep, holding tightly onto Steve’s hand. 

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When Tony fell asleep, Sarah ushered everyone but Jarvis who was Tony’s guardian and Steve who was stuck. 

“Kids, you can’t do stuff like that. You best be glad you didn’t send him into a panic attack or we’d all would have been kicked out,” she said, her tone wasn’t mean, but it wasn’t soft either. 

“We know...and we’re sorry. We’ve already said that.”

“I agree with Natasha. It was awfully rude of us.”

“We’re just...worried about him Mrs. Rogers…” Clint said. “We can’t say we’ve always been friends with him...but he really is a sweet kid...and I know for one, I’m glad we took him under our wings.” Clint sniffed. “I wasn’t really all that fond of him...ya know...I was actually kind of mean to him. And I regret everything I said because even if it wasn’t that bad, it was. It was terrible of me to say stuff like that…”

Clint was almost all out crying. Natasha held him close. Whispering comforting words in Russian before speaking herself. “None of us were all that fond of him.”

“I was. Even when you guys weren’t friends, I knew him. I tried to tell you that he wasn’t as bad as you said, but you wouldn’t listen,” Bruce said. 

“Except for Brucie over here. We were all pretty hard on Tony,” Bucky said. 

“Why don’t you guys go home and rest. I’m going to be taking Steve home soon as well. You guys have to rest if you want to be here for Tony,” Sarah said. They all agreed reluctantly. Later, Sarah and Steve left as well, leaving Jarvis with a sleeping Tony. 

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Tony was not doing so well. He was getting better, physically. Mentally was, however, another story. Despite all the reassurance, Tony was still not in the best place mentally. 

He was placed under a 72 hour hold due to his deteriorating mental state and the fact that he attempted suicidee. 

They evaluated his mental state so that they could know if he was going to be a danger to himself again or a danger to others. 

Tony’s therapist came in a couple of times to talk. A teen psychiatrist, who was very skilled in her field, talked with Tony’s therapist as well as diagnosed Tony and prescribed Tony anti-depressants. ‘Severe clinical depression’ she called it. 

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Steve sauntered into Tony’s room. “Hey.”

“Hey.”

Steve sat down on the side of the bed, where Tony made room for him. “They taking me off 72 hour watch..,” Tony said in offer to supply conversation. 

“That’s good..,” Steve replied. The blond leaned into Tony’s shoulder. Neither teen said anything for a while. 

“Hey Steve…?” Tony finally said after a few minutes. 

“Yeah Tones?” 

“Are you...okay…?” Tony asked. The dark haired teen knew Steve wasn’t. Steve shook his head and gave a sigh. 

“You’re asking me if I’m okay…? Have you seen the state of yourself?” Steve asked. His voice was watery. “You are in the damn hospital, so no. I’m not fine.”

Tony frowned, then looked down at his hands. “I-” Tony cut off, not knowing what to say. Then he finally said, “I’m sorry . I know you don’t like it when I say that. But I am Steve. I am so sorry that I put you all through all this…,” Tony sniffed. There was a hand, suddenly under his chin, lifting it up. He was now forced to look Steve in his eyes. They were full of sadness, but at the same time adoration. 

“I love you, Tony.” The dark haired teen was surprised by this. “I really fucking love you.” 

For Steve to curse, meant either he was mad or he really meant it and couldn’t hold back. In this instance, both facts were correct. It took Tony a minute to reply, but it didn’t mean he meant any less by it. “I love you too.” Emotion once again swelled through Tony, being able to say that out loud was almost magical for the dark haired teen. Tony scooted closer to Steve, pressed right up against him, feeling the warmth that radiated off the blond. 

The two stayed like that for a while. Snuggled close together, feeling each other. Being near Steve made Tony feel a little better. Knowing that Steve was there for him. Knowing that all of his friends were there for him, was enough to make his depressed mind able to see through the fog. It wasn’t however, enough to get rid of the fog completely. 

Four days after Tony was hospitalized Rhodey arrived. Tony didn’t know who told him or why, but Rhodey was more than upset. He came in ranting and raving about it all. “I cannot...I just, Tony why didn’t you say something? Why did you let us think you were just okay? You are so stupid thinking that no one cares about you! Goddamnit, you’re my best friend! Do you know how absolutely heartbroken Pepper and I would be if you hadn’t made it?” 

Tony stared blankly, who practically slammed himself into Tony. Tears welled up in Tony’s eyes again. “I’m sorry…” he whispered. “I just...couldn’t take it anymore. Everything...Rhodey-bear, everything that’s been going on was just...too much...I just-”

“Stop. You don’t have to explain yourself. Just don’t...don’t do it again...please… We all care an awful lot...and we don’t like to see you hurting like this…” 

“I know…”

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Tony was finally discharged after his fourth day at the hospital. Glad to finally be somewhere other than a hospital, Tony laid in his bed. Almost immediately falling asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow. 

It was by no means a restful slumber. Tossing and turning all night, waking up from a horrifying nightmare. Nightmares from his dad’s abuse, nightmares from the bullying, and now nightmares from his past suicide attempt. 

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“I can’t fucking believe you right now. You selfish asshole!” Steve yelled. His face was morphing into his fathers. “Stark men are made of iron! Get it through your thick fucking skull!” 

Tony felt the trickle of thick, warm blood running down his face before the stinging sensation from the blow. Tony let loose a whimper as he fell back onto his ass. “Stop!” He yelled in vain. But the blows just kept coming and coming. Nonstop.  Until…

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Tony shot up, gasping. He wasn’t getting any good breaths in. He stumbled out of his bed. Picking up his phone, he opened Steve’s contact. Not looking at the time or thinking, he pressed the call button. Only freaking out more when it took a long time for the phone to be picked up.

“Tony, it’s like three am...what’s wrong?” Steve asked. He sounded tired and groggy. 

“S-sorry...S-steve...I know... I know it’s la-late...or early ...” Tony could barely get a full sentence. “And I-I’m sorry...sorry that I...that I called...and-”

“Tony, it’s okay,” Steve said. He sounded slightly more awake. “What happened? Was it a nightmare?”

At first Tony nodded, but soon realizing Steve wouldn’t be able to see it. “Y-yeah…” Tony stuttered through breaths. Breathing was slightly easier, but not normal.

“Okay. I need you to take some deep breaths, in for 4, hold for seven, out for eight. It’s okay, everything’s going to be okay. Just breathe,” Steve coached. This went on until Steve was sure Tony wasn’t in danger of hyperventilation or passing out anymore. 

After a moment of silence, Tony broke it. “I’m sorry, Steve.”

“Don’t be, It’s okay. I’m glad you called,” Steve said. 

“I’m...uh...okay now,” Tony said. “I think I’m gonna try to go back to sleep.”

“Okay.” Steve paused for a second, as if hesitating. “I love you.” Tony was taken back. It was surprising. The words sounded foreign. But, it was mimicking his own thoughts. 

“I-I love you too..,” Tony said softly. There was a soft click as Tony hung up the phone. He put it on the desk, well more like dropped it. His hands were still shaking. Tony paced his room until he couldn’t anymore. He finally laid back down, letting his eyes fall closed. 

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Tony slept through most of his friday morning. He wasn’t quite cleared to go back to school yet. Jarvis just let him sleep, knowing full well that the teen barely got any. 

Finally, at around 11 o’clock, Tony rolled out of bed. Groggy as ever. His arms were still bandaged, but he was able to take them off in two days. Tony walked slowly to the bathroom. He looked at himself in the mirror. His face was still pale, but had some color in it. His eyes had dark purple bags under the lack of sleep. 

He didn't do much for the rest of the day and then decided to sit down and build something.

Time Skip

At around 4:00 pm, there came a knock at the door. Tony was sitting in his room, building something. His door opened, revealing Bucky, Steve, Nat, Clint, Thor, Bruce, and Sam.

“Hey guys,” Tony said as he looked up, slightly startled by the opening of his bedroom door. “Whatcha doing here?” 

“We wanted to visit you. How are you feeling?” Natasha asked softly. 

“Make yourselves comfortable,” Tony said dodging the question. They all, somehow, managed to fit on Tony’s bed. 

“What are you building?” Bucky asked. 

“Just a robot. Nothing special.” Tony put it down, looking at all of them. “You guys want something to eat? Drink? I can ask Jarvis to make something?” Tony offered. 

There was a chorus of “Sures” and Tony lead them down to the kitchen. First looking to see what all they had. “Stay here, I’ll be right back.” Tony disappeared out of the kitchen. “Okay, so we can watch a movie or something?” Tony said, well more like asked. 

And that’s when they made friday night, movie nights a thing. They all ended up staying the night at Tony’s house. Jarvis made them dinner, as they sat down and watched multiple movies. 

Steve, Tony, Bucky, and Bruce inhabited the biggest couch. Natasha was curled up on the floor by Clint. Sam sat in one of the recliners. Thor was also on the floor, by Clint. They were watching ‘The Lion King’. Tony’s least favorite part was when Mufasa died. Something about listening to Simba beg for his father to get up, yelling for help...almost reminded him of when his mother died. 

Clint picked the next movie. It was a comedy, to lighten the mood from watching The Lion King. Soon though, Tony ended up falling asleep against Steve’s shoulder. They decided to just leave him, and they too went to bed. Bruce moved to the floor by Thor. Bucky and Steve stayed on the couch, unable to move due to a sleeping Tony spread over their laps. Tony was snoring softly. It was a peaceful night. 

Well...until….

‘Whimpering, there was soft whimpering.’ Was what Bucky thought when he woke up suddenly. Steve too, startled awake from the movement on his lap. It took both teens a moment to figure out it was coming from Tony. They jumped into action, trying to get him to wake up so he wouldn’t have to suffer anymore.

“Tones…?” Steve gently shook Tony’s shoulder. Tony jumped up, ending up hitting Steve in the chin with his head, which caused an even bigger chain reaction, causing a surprised Steve to fall backwards onto a sleeping Clint, who yelled and woke up Natasha…who, in surprised anger, smacked Clint on the head earning another loud yelp which woke up Thor...who ended up waking up Sam in the chair above him by almost knocking it over in fright. 

There was a long, very long, moment of silence. Tony was sitting on the couch, eyes wider than dinner plates. A light flickered on and there were loud footsteps as Jarvis came down the stairs. “What on earth, pray tell, is going on?” He asked. 

The surprise melted off of Tony’s face, and they burst into laughter. Steve was rubbing his chin. “Sorry guys,” he said with laughter in his voice. 

It was just barely 12:00am. When he was almost sure everyone else was asleep again, Tony carefully got off the couch, going outside to sit on the porch. 

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Bucky, who was almost asleep was woken up by the sound of the front door opening and shutting. He got up silently and went to go investigate. He found Tony sitting on the porch, huddled up, shivering ever so slightly. Despite being May, it was a chilly night for those not wearing a thin jacket. So he didn’t startle Tony, Bucky made his presence known. “Whatcha doin’?” He asked gently. In spite of his attempts to not scare Tony, the teen still flinched slightly. 

“Just...sittin’.” Bucky walked over and sat down next to Tony. 

“Is everything okay?”

“Yeah...why wouldn’t it be?” Tony looked up. The full moon illuminated his face, making him look more pale and ghostly than he actually was. 

“Steve’s awful worried about you, Bambi. We all are.”

The pet name was weird, but Tony was okay with it. Still, he quirked up his eyebrow and asked, “Bambi?” 

“Yeah. You just remind me of him,” Bucky said plainly. “Soft, kind, adorable, quiet, shy. Ya know?”

“I’ve never been compared to a deer before,” Tony laughed. “And I’ve been compared to a lot of things.”

Bucky almost flinched. He did have to admit, he was not, at all, in any way, shape, or form, fond of Tony. But now, they all were. “Look...I know we had a lot to do with everything you’ve been through. I know we weren’t all too fond of you. But now that we got to know you...we wouldn’t trade you for the world. Especially Steve.”

Bucky gave a gentle sigh before continuing. “You’re really special to us, Bambi. We hate to see you hurting, even if you try to hide it. You really scared us.”

Tony looked away from Bucky, a guilty expression on his face. “I didn’t mean to scare anyone...I just…” Tony broke off with a heavy sigh. A sad expression took over his features. “I was tired of suffering.”

“You don’t have to suffer alone. We’re all here for you. No matter what anyone else says, don’t you forget that,” Bucky said. Tony felt a warm, happy feeling rush through him. 

“I won’t. Thanks Bucky.” 

The two stayed out for just a little longer before heading back inside. Tony curled up again beside Steve on the couch. Bucky sat in the rocker recliner. The two of them falling asleep. Tony felt progressively better than he had the previous day. Bucky’s kind words, the light atmosphere. Not to mention his own personal heater that they called ‘Steve’. 

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Tony was the last to wake up the next day. “Just let him sleep!” Steve whisper, yelled to Clint who was about to wake Tony up. 

“You’re no fun Steve,” Clint pouted. 

“He needs it. I mean, look at how peaceful he is,” Steve said looking at Tony, who was curled up as close to ball form as he could. He was letting loose small snoring sounds. 

So, let him sleep they did. 

“Morning guys,” Tony said sitting up and rubbing his eyes. 

“More like afternoon,” Clint muttered, but there was no venom or hate. 

“Oh. Sorry.”

“Whatever for?” 

“Sleeping so long.”

“Don’t be. Steve said we should let you sleep, and to be honest, you really looked like you needed it.” 

“Oh,” was all Tony said to that. Yawning once more, Tony threw the blanket off and almost slid to the floor. Tony walked into the kitchen. “You guys want some coffee…?” Natasha all but jumped up.

“Sure,” she said. Clint and Bruce followed. 

“Got any juice?” Clint asked.

“Yeah,” Tony said. He then got into the fridge and grabbed a bottle of apple juice. He handed it to Clint. “You can get a glass out of the dishwasher or from the cupboard over the cabinet to your left.”

Tony then got out a mug for himself and Natasha and poured some coffee from the pot into each mug. “Fix it however you like it,” he said handing the mug to Natasha. “Brucie-bear, whatcha want?” Tony asked. 

“Whatever you have is fine.”

“Well, we’ve got tea, juice, coffee, and hot chocolate, or you can have some water.” 

“Tea’s fine,” Bruce replied. 

“Okay. Cold or hot?” Tony asked. 

“Hot.” 

Tony grabbed a tea kettle and put some water in it. “Jarvis will finish this when it’s done,” he told Bruce who nodded in understatement. 

As soon as they all had breakfast, they had about three hours left. They spent that time just bonding more. 

Tony had to admit, he felt better than he had in a while. He felt more alive, he would go as far to say happy. Steve stayed longer than anyone else. The two of them sat on the porch swing. “Hey Steve?”

“Hmm?” Steve hummed out. 

“I love you.”

A smile grew on Steve’s face. “I love you too, Tony.”

But then it was too, time for Steve to go home. Tony spent the rest of the afternoon bored. He also worked on his homework, but soon got bored of that as well. 

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It was Monday. Tony was going back to school. It was weird, Justin hadn’t yet come up to him to tell Tony how pathetic that he was. Nor did he even mention Tony through the day, or at lunch. Tony liked the peace he finally felt at school now that Justin wasn’t bothering him. 

*after school*

“You sure you want to do this Young Sir?” Jarvis asked. A serious expression dawned his aging features. Tony nodded. 

“I have to. I’m not afraid of him anymore.”

“Anthony Stark? Your father has accepted your request to see him.” 

Tony followed the officer, another one behind him. 

“Son,” Howard spat out. 

“Father,” Tony matched his tone. 

“Have you come to apologize for your behavior towards me? Cause that was awful and not how I raised you to be.”

“No. I came to remind you that I was raised by you. I’m not afraid of you anymore. You stole my entire childhood from me. You stole my right to live a happy normal life. What is there to forgive? How do you think mom would react?” 

Tony looked at his father, who actually had a look of uncertainty on his face. “She may not have always been there for me, but I know in my heart that she still loved me. So. How. Do. You. Think. She would react to your awful behavior towards me ?”

With that, Tony turned around, leaving his surprised father in his wake. 

Tony felt better after that. Yes, his mind was still in a dark place, but not as dark as it was. Jarvis took Tony to get ice cream after that. 

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Tony was seeing a therapist twice a week. School was going good. Home life was going good. His relationship with Steve was skyrocketing. Steve, Bucky, Natasha, Steve, Bruce, Sam, Thor, and himself were a close group. Going through high school together. He also kept in contact with Rhodey and Pepper. 

It sure was a fun thing. To be happy, to feel loved. And Tony was glad that he was able to feel that. The teen wanted to make sure absolutely no one felt the way he did. And that’s what he set his heart to. At Marvel High, there was no one left behind. With ‘The Avenger’s squad’ and Principal Fury to back Tony up. Tony changed for the better, allowing his soft side to be his go to. He didn’t hide his emotions by trying to be a cold hearted asshole. 

Chapter Text

Ssssooooooooooooo

I was thinking about doing like...a college sequel to this. How would you guys feel about that? Or if you have better ideas, let me know! I really enjoyed writing this one and right now I'm fresh out of things to write.

Thanks, Author😊

UPDATE: 2-17-2020

AGH GUYS I'm so sorry I haven't even had much time to work on the sequel. I've been SO SO busy with school and home life....And I'm having a really hard time coming up with much of anything. I'm afraid I've written myself into a corner. Hopefully I can overcome this burst of not having any ideas to move on. What I have right now...it all jumbled and makes no sense. I've been writing on and off with no ideas of anything for the past couple of months.

Thanks, Author.

PS. I hope to get at least a little something out soon, but I'm not sure when.

UPDATE: 3-3-2020

I've been going through a hell of a lot lately. I am having the literal worst writers block and I haven't had the motivation to even attempt to work on the sequel. I've tried, but all that happens is me staring blankly at my computer screen. I tried and failed. I feel like a shit writer. I might....MIGHT change it from college AU to an after college AU because....it's just...not working out like I originally planned. Soooo...don't get hopes up for a sequel anytime soon. It was a fun idea when it was fresh in my brain, but now...It's just not working.

Bye for now. ~Author