Chapter Text
Say It Back
One month later.
“I don’t even know if you watch these. Sometimes I think I only record them for myself. I miss you, Keith.”
Keith stared at the screen in the mission control room, his body slumped into a chair as he watched Lance lying on his bed, his communicator filming his face from where he held it up.
“Hunk made some cookies today, they were good. A bit hard though. Shiro says hi. He misses you a lot. We all do. Matt is still sorry about everything, like, he tells me on a daily basis. Whatever.” He shrugs. “I already told you everything about that and I’m tired. I don’t know why you’re still gone after we know what happened but I guess the mission took longer than expected. Shiro briefly talked to Kolivan last week and said it would be over soon. I… I don’t know if you wanna see me but if you don’t come home, I swear, I will find you and we’ll have a talk. Please? Then again, if you haven’t watched my videos - or the ones of the others - you still don’t know. Oh man. I’m gonna find you. I don’t know how but I will.”
Keith sighed. It was impossible to find this Blade outpost.
“I love you, Keith. I still do.”
The heart in his chest clenched. Lance kept saying these three words but… What did they mean without the matching heart? Even if it was true, he wouldn’t able to be happy with him. Same old, same old.
Keith was still convinced it had been the right decision to leave Voltron for a while, even though it had been a spontaneous decision, spurred by a sudden feeling of anger that last night. He had looked at Lance’s hand, his unmatching mark, and rage had rushed through his body. Not directed at Lance but at the universe or whatever force had been responsible to screw up what they had-- or could have had. He refused to give the universe the satisfaction of his and Lance’s suffering with their mismatched bond so… he knew he needed to go.
After Keith had left for the Blade, his team had spammed the official Blade channel with video messages for him. Kolivan wasn’t amused - they only got one channel for important messages and private videos for a not even important Blade member shouldn’t be clocking it up. So Keith deleted them all without watching. He had made his decision and needed space to think about everything. And Lance needed space, too, Keith just knew it.
He asked Kolivan to tell Voltron that he was well and that he was coming back after the next mission. Probably. Private communication devices weren’t allowed in case they got hacked.
After two weeks, he snuck into the control room and checked incoming video messages. Messages got automatically deleted after a day but there was a new one, just been transmitted. It was from Lance, 5 minutes long. And all he did was talking about his day, more like a diary or a personal vlog, only he addressed Keith and told him about his day, keeping him in the loop.
Keith didn’t know what Lance had talked about in the last few weeks. Something had happened between him and Matt, obviously, because sometimes he mentioned him, but whatever it was, it didn’t seem to matter anymore. Or, as Lance implied, had never mattered in the first place. Whatever that was about.
Keith never replied. He couldn't, no matter how much his heart wanted to. It would only make things worse.
~~
Two weeks later.
Technically, this was Keith’s last day with the Blade. Their mission had ended a week ago and he was free to leave after all the debriefing had been over.
Free to go back to Voltron.
He had postponed making a decision for weeks and now that the time was up, he wished to stop time.
The thing was, he missed his friends at the Castle.
He fucking missed Lance.
But going back meant to confront his feelings. Maybe he just had to wait until Lance was over him. Found someone new, perhaps. But the boy was still sending him messages about how much he loved him.
He tried telling himself that Lance didn’t love him but Lance's constant messages had begun to make his mind open for other possibilities... What if the universe was the one being in the wrong? What if Lance's stubbornness was stronger than the soulmark? What if... their love overruled the mismatched bond? And what if all this was the case and Keith was too much of a coward to give them a chance? Maybe all he needed was a sign. A small sign for him to make the decision to go back to--
There was a knock on his door.
“Yeah?” Keith never got visitors in his little sleeping chamber so he expected the worst. The door opened and Regris appeared.
“There’s someone here to see you. Says he’s the current leader of Voltron and needs to talk to you. It’s some kind of diplomatic mission so Kolivan permitted him to land.”
Voltron? A diplomatic mission? What was Shiro doing here?
Regris took a step into the room and pushed him something small into his hand. “He told me to give you this.”
Keith’s eyes widened.
A twenty-dollar bill.
He bolted out of his room.
Someone was standing in the great hall, his back turned around to where Keith had emerged from. A Paladin, a black Paladin. Keith’s heart beat fast. It wasn’t Shiro.
“Who died and made you king?”
The Paladin turned around, the brightest smile on his face, his blue eyes sparkling with happiness.
“Well, there was this stubborn guy who almost died protecting me and then ran away so I guess Black became desperate.” He took a step towards him. “She responds well to me yelling Yeehaa. Must be conditioned to do so.” Lance pointed at the black armor he’s wearing. “How do I look?”
“Tolerable.” God, he looked good. Keith had never felt prouder. “How did you find the station?”
“Black led me here after some persuasion. I had to explain to her the situation at hand.”
“And why are you here?”
“You know why.” Lance waited. “I know your mission is over since last week. Can we talk?”
“Voltron business?”
The smile on Lance’s face vanished. He shot Keith a long look, then nodded. “Of course.” It was a lie but Keith accepted it, waving into the direction of his room for Lance to follow him.
The door closed and Lance sat down on the small bed.
“So, you left. Care to elaborate on your reasons?”
“There’s really not much more to say, Lance… ”
“Oh, we haven’t even begun saying things, Keith.” He paused. “Did you get our video messages? Did you get Matt’s?” Keith wrinkled his brows. Matt? Why Matt? “Oh, come on, you didn’t?” Lance breathed.
“I watched your videos but only after a few weeks, the older ones are gone,” Keith explained. “I needed some time and distance. But… I liked listening to you, just telling me about things that happened at the Castle.” Keith smiled softly.
“Did Matt ever try to contact you? Not while you’re here but before?”
“Why are you so obsessed with Matt?”
“Humor me.”
“No.” Keith paused. “Well, yeah, shortly before we went down to Etorio.”
“What did he say?”
“Um, I can’t really remember. Oh, the line was terrible, I was basically only talking to him and barely understood a single word. He asked about you, too. It was weird but I thought he must have heard from Allura about our bond. Shiro was probably upset about it and Matt had to deal with him. I told him it was fine and we figured it out, our fight and all. Hang on,” he interrupted himself, having a suspicious feeling, “who pilots Red when you’re in Black?”
Lance snorted. “Not that it’s important right now but Matt. Though Voltron runs smoother when Shiro’s piloting Black with Matt in Red. I can’t handle two Holts yet. We don’t understand why Black lets me pilot her but… I think it’s because of you. You basically told her that I was about to pilot her. Also, she’s the only one who was able to track you down. Well, Red helped.”
“Wait. You’re here with--”
“Black and Red, yeah.”
“You stole two lions to find me? That’s reckless, Lance.”
“Someone once told me to look at the bigger picture. Don’t look so shocked, I left a note, just like you did.”
“What did it say?”
“Brb, tracking down the one I love to tell him how much he means to him and trying to persuade him to come back because I miss him so much.”
“Wow.” Keith found Lance's eyes. There was still hurt in them but also something... soft. Almost something like understanding. That was new. "I can't believe you're here. I pushed you away again and you literally chased after me. I am the worst, Lance. I-- I did a lot of thinking, you know? About our bond and my feelings and, well, your feelings and how--" Keith took a deep breath. "It didn't change for me. And apparently neither did it for you. And I wished there was a way and maybe.. I mean... I don't know if it will work but I am willing to-- no. Actually, I want to try--"
“I wasn't finished talking about Matt.”
Keith stared at Lance with wide eyes. "Excuse me?”
“I know what you're trying to say but it wouldn't be fair if you didn't know all the details," Lance continued. "Matt thought he had cleared it up and you telling him we both were fine only proved it to him. During their missions, the rebels are only connected to the leader of Voltron for safety reasons. Which is you. So he couldn’t even reach out to his sister.”
“I know but I don’t understand.”
“Remember when you slapped me?”
“Well, I remember it as the moment you told me you want to see me naked pinned down under you.”
Lance’s face flushed. “Fair enough.” He worried his lips before he continued. “Matt was there and he hated it that we didn’t apologize sincerely. He was pissed that we didn’t even tell them what… has been said.”
“Yeah, I know. So? Can you get to the point, Lance?”
“The point is and always was that I love you.”
“Lance--”
“You don’t get to Lance me any longer. Because… now I am the one who has to ask you what you feel about me. Please, be honest."
“You know what I feel," Keith said and held up his right hand for Lance to see.
"No," Lance said softly and grabbed Keith's hand only to put it down and out of their field of vision. "Don't look. Just feel. And tell me."
Lance was eerily serious and Keith didn't know what to make of it. So he did the thing he wanted to do for some time now. Gently, he cupped Lance's chin with his unmarked right hand, a finger briefly touching his lips.
“I love you, Lance, I love you so much."
Lance smiled and leaned into the touch.
“And you know what? I believe you.” He put a hand on Keith’s thigh. “I love you, Keith. And it took me some time but I finally understood why you didn't believe me. And it broke my heart but I get it... after everything Coran had told you and that Etorio Elder, I get it."
“Actually…”
“What?”
“I thought about you a lot. And… us. And maybe I made a mistake in-- in not believing you. Maybe the universe doesn’t-- doesn’t know us well enough. Maybe it’s like you said the first day with Coran and Allura.”
“What did I say?”
“That it’s a mistake.”
“It's a mistake that we have a soulbond?”
“No, it's a mistake that we have a mismatched soulbond. Maybe the universe is just wrong here. I mean, I don't know but it could be possible... or not?”
“You know, you saying this makes me stupid happy.” Lance held out his gloved right hand. “You put on my glove so I thought it was only fair if you were the one to remove it.” Lance paused. “Promise me you won’t freak out. Because after that, I have to tell you something else which might… change things for you.”
“For good or bad?”
“That’s up to you.”
Slowly, Keith pulled off the glove he’d given Lance over three months ago.
K
E
I
T
H
♥
Turquoise letters and a heart in the same color, little gold particles sparkling. His name and a heart on Lance’s hand, just the same as on Keith’s hand.
For a moment, time stood still.
“What? When?”
“The When is not important, Keith. But the heart is. Because that’s exactly how I feel. I’m in love with you, Keith. A month ago just as much as I am now. We don’t have a mismatched bond. Actually, we never had. Not one second.”
“But… how? The Findupha, it was over. The bond was final.”
“You’re so stupid,“ Lance grinned. ”But so am I.”
“You-- that’s a heart. But how--”
“Later.” He scooted closer. “Keith. I love you. Gosh, I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of saying it. There’s something you need to know. And this time I’m the scared one.”
“Scared?”
"I have to get it out real quick.” He took a deep breath. “It’s ink, Keith. It’s fucking magical ink. Fake.”
What.
Keith furrowed his brows."I don’t understand.”
Lance took his hand and squeezed it gently.
“The marks, they’re not real.”
“But--”
“Which brings us back to Matt,” Lance interrupted him. “He was so annoyed by our fights that he wrote the names on our hand the night he left with Shiro. He knew that it was soulmark ink people used when they wanted to fake one, he knew Allura and Coran would make a big deal out of it. But he also thought they would notice they’re fake but when Shiro received Allura's excited message about our bond, Matt contacted you to clear things up.”
“Oh. And he thought we already had realized it was fake and were back to normal.” What a mess, Keith thought. Now the reaction from the Etorio Elder made much more sense: they were the only one to realize it was fake... but had played along because it had been the only way for their people to support Voltron.
“But-- the heart?” Keith wondered.
“He got to me first that night," Lance said and rolled his eyes. "He only got the idea with the heart when he was with you.”
“So it was--"
“Absolutely random and a prank.”
“We’re not soulmates?”
We’re not meant to be together? Keith wanted to add.
“By Altean standards? No. But by Earth’s standards? Yes. Very much.” A frown appeared on Lance's face. “Unless… you thought you had to love me. If you felt forced to then--”
“Shut up.”
Cautiously but with determination, Keith took Lance’s face in his hands and pressed a gentle kiss on his lips. Lance smiled into the kiss and put his hands on top of Keith’s.
“You love me,” Keith breathed. “You really do.” The realization hit him hard and something in his heart broke away but it was a good break, a necessary break that made room for new feelings.
Lance’s face lit up as if Keith had just learned a new word. “Yes!” He put his hands on Keith’s cheek. “I do,” he chuckled quietly. “So very much.”
Keith nudged his nose against Lance’s. “Say it back. You have to say it back.”
Lance leaned forward until Keith felt his hot breath on his ear. “And you love me.”
“I do. I really do.” Keith ran his hand gently through Lance’s hair. “So this is it. No soulbond. Just us.”
“Well, I can think of one or two bonding moments. And just us sounds pretty good to me. Although I kind of looked forward to Allura throwing a soulmate ceremony for us. You think she’d still do it?”
“I don’t think that’s appropriate since it’s her culture and all.”
“I’m gonna talk to her,” Lance grinned.
There was a brief silence between them.
“All this time I was… wow, I was so worried, Lance. I thought you could never love me.”
“I know. We talked about that before you left.”
“I know but… I still wasn’t convinced.”
“I could tell… the morning after.”
“I’m sorry for not believing you. And I’m sorry for running away.”
“It was messed up. It’s okay for now. But… we need to talk about you not believing me when I said I love you... and that pushing away. That hurts, Keith, and a part of me is still angry at you even though I understand you. But we’ll figure it out, okay? And talk about that stuff, I mean, if you want to.”
“We will and I want to."
“Kolivan said your mission is over now… Come back home with me?”
“Stay the night?” Keith asked and Lance replied with an exaggerated eye wiggle. Keith dialed down in an instance. “No, I mean, we can talk about… stuff and you can-- update me on everything that happened and--”
Lance leaned forward, his lips searching for Keith’s mouth and his hands pushing him down on his back. “I’m gonna update you, alright… Oh, I have plenty of updates for you,” Lance mumbled.
"Lay it on me, Your Majesty."
"Oh, I like that... by the way... I stole something from the drawer on Etorio..."