Chapter Text
DISCLAIMER: The ideas are mine, the characters belong to JK...
Cover Image: Three Girls in Kitchen, Kentucky, 1964. William Gedney. Gelatin silver
"You know, most people really don't know me"
Marilyn Monroe
Prologue
The first thing I remember from my childhood is fear.
My parents used to argue all the time. They posed as a respectable pureblood family, as the name Black required, but there was very little respect between them once they found themselves away from the watchful eyes of magical society. Their words were harsh, their love non-existent, their quarrels awfully frequent. I listened to it all. The screams, the swearing, the spells missing their targets... It would be frightening to any little girl, and it was so to me.
I was the youngest of the three children born to Cygnus and Druella Black, and it was obvious that I was different from my two sisters from the very day I was born, which I was told to be a cold and foggy winter night of 1956. Both Bellatrix and Andromeda, however different in behaviour and personality, had dark hair, and powerful brown eyes behind which hid certain strength of character and will. My eyes, on the other hand, were blue, and my blond hair lacked the elegance of their curls. From birth, I was thought to be very fragile, and it seemed only fit to my mother to break with family tradition and name me after a flower. That's how I became Narcissa.
I grew to be exactly what was expected of me. I was a delicate little girl, naïve and more vulnerable than any of my sisters would ever be. My parents' quarrels frightened me almost more than anything in the world. My oldest memory is of one of those nights when I was awakened by my mother's harsh voice, shouting things at my father I wish I could forget. Soon I could hear objects, which sounded like the expensive porcelain, banging and crashing against the walls of the upper floor, and I sat over the valance of my bed, terrified, holding my knees and pulling them closer to my body. I was crying when both my sisters walked in.
Andromeda closed the door behind them, as soon as they were both inside and rushed to an armchair, away from my bed. She sat there alone, very quietly, looking up at the ceiling as if she could follow father's movements back and forth instead of merely listening to his heavy steps. Andy had always been very self-sufficient. She would spend her days alone, playing outside in the gardens, and eventually, escaping the manor to watch other's people's daily lives. Since those early years, she was not as proud of being a Black as she should be, and the costs of bearing such a name seemed too expensive for her to pay. It was her way, and I loved her.
Bellatrix, for her part, walked towards me and climbed my bed as soon as she entered the bedroom. She was five or six years old then, a beautiful dark-haired little girl, tall for her age, and remarkably brave! I do not know if she could understand our parents' fights, but I know she didn't fear them. There were no tears on her face, no pain in her eyes, there was only concern about her youngest sister, crying so desperately it almost hurt. She placed her arms around me, pulling me closer to her body, and I laid my head on her chest, my tears falling free all over her nightgown.
"Shhhh, Cissy," Bella whispered, holding me tight, using the nickname she would continue to use even way after we were older and a bit too grown-up for such endearments.
She didn't say everything was going to be fine. I suppose even then she did not believe that, and Bella never lied to me. But I knew she would protect me, and I didn't feel so scared anymore. It didn't even occur to me that there was very little a six-year-old could do to protect an even younger child from the wrath of two adult wizards if it came to that. Bella was special; she had ways to protect me. She would keep me safe. And I would protect her no matter what.
That night, I fell asleep in my sister's arms. She didn't let go of me, not even for a second, and several hours passed until the struggle upstairs lost strength and faded away.
Once there was silence in the manor, Bella laid down on my bed, hugging me from behind. I called Andy to join us. My middle sister sat on the floor, next to the bed, resting her head over the mattress, and held my hand. I knew I had nothing to fear, and soon, my eyes felt heavier. It was only a few seconds before I slipped out of reality, that I felt Bella's kiss on the top of my head. She said, "I love you, Cissy", without sound, and I knew I would always love her.
We might not have been meant for happiness, but whatever was to happen in the years that came, I knew we would always have each other.