Chapter Text
“Waaaaaahhhh!” Sayaka sprang out of her sleep in a cold sweat.
“Waaaaaahhhh!” The girl sleeping the chair next to her spilled over backwards from the sudden surprise.
“Wh-” Sayaka breathlessly looked around the room. “Where the hell am I?”
“On the TARDIS.” The small girl replied as she grabbed a piece of cheese from her pocket.
“On the wha-?” She restlessly massaged her forehead. She’d had such a huge lingering headache, as though an entire philharmonic orchestra had been relentlessly pumping its climax directly into her skull.
“The TARDIS.” The apparently young girl restated. “It’s a ship.”
“A ship?” She also had quite the uneasy feeling in her stomach. “How the heck’d I get onto a boat?” Possibly motion sickness from being brought aboard, she figured.
“Oh, no, no!” The girl corrected. “It’s not that kind of a ship! The TARDIS is a TARDIS.” Her answer only made the ringing pain in Sayaka’s head feel even worse. “You want some cheese?” The cheese looked strange, like a part of an animal’s leg.
“Wh- Who are you?”
“I’m Nagisa.” She peeled off a part of her odd snack. “So do you want some cheese?”
“No thanks.” Sayaka tried searching the whole room for some sort of clue to where she was. The room was pretty spacious. Books, lots of them, appliances she couldn’t identify, furniture, and toys strewn on the floor. A single room, and it was even bigger than her family’s entire apartment, yet it had no windows or portholes for her to get her bearings. Just a silver door on her right. The girl promptly got off her seat, trotted over to the toys and grabbed what resembled a stuffed fish off the floor.
“Is there a grown up I can speak to?” Sayaka tried getting out of her bed, but was too wobbly on her feet, and she tripped over the young girl’s seat beside it.
“Well, there was Miss Jones for a while,” The girl helped pick Sayaka off the floor and plunked her back onto the bed. “But she’s gone now.”
“Miss Jones?” That name did ring a bell. Yes, some latent memories were beginning to creep back into the forefront of her consciousness. Miss Jones had been substituting for Miss Saotome at school. English teacher, from elsewhere, seemed to enjoy calling Sayaka ‘Miss Clown’. So this place was hers, then? And if she was indeed gone now, then “Where’d she go?”
“She’s dead.” The girl’s answer caused Sayaka to shoot right back up out of bed. Fortunately, the girl was there to catch her this time.
“What? What happened to her?” She remembered the woman having a seizure and needing to go to the hospital. Might her condition have deteriorated?
“I didn’t see.” The girl somberly answered. “I was playing in here when she died.”
“Is there somebody else I can talk to?” A flood of other memories came roaring back all at once. Some were good to have back, but most were rather unpleasant, others even moreso, including this past day being probably the worst of her entire life.
“Maybe you should nap some more.” The girl tried sitting her back down.
“No!” She remembered a small rabbit creature, and a redhead. “I wanna know what’s going on!” And she remembered a black jewel. Then she remembered touching the jewel. “And I want somebody to tell me right now!” But more than anything, she remembered living another life of hers, But it wasn’t her own life.
“You sure you don’t wanna nap some more? You look really really cranky.”
“Yes I’m sure!” Sayaka insisted. “Just get me somebody who can explain what happened to me!”
“Oh. Okay.” The girl lightly trotted over to the door.
“And take me with you!” Sayaka demanded, even though she couldn’t keep steady on her feet.
“Oh. Okay.” The girl came back and propped herself underneath Sayaka’s arm at her side. Nagisa was used to bending to the demands of an uncooperative patient. A skill carried over by her treatment from her own mother.
“If I look like I’m gonna barf,” Sayaka relented, “You’re free to get out of the way.”
“Oh. Okay.” The girl helped her shuffle slowly to the door. “Thanks.”
***
“Insert primary (black) wire into Tab ‘A’.” Homura read the written instructions. “Quantum solder. Setting Alpha Blue, turn the first knob on the multitool from the twelve o’clock position to the eight o’clock position, second knob from the six o’clock position to the one o’clock position, the knob on the bottom from the fourteen o’clock position to the twelve o’clock position.”
“Check.” Sayaka adjusted the settings thusly, and melded the two components together. She then tugged a bit on the wire to make sure the connection was tight. “How many pages to go?”
“Only twenty or so.” Homura thumbed through the instructions booklet. “Out of one hundred twelve.” She yawned.
“You tired?”
“No.” Homura answered. “One of the first things I learned after becoming a magical girl was that sleeping had become purely optional.”
“Yeah, me neither.” Sayaka sighed. “But we’ve been fighting, fighting, fighting, working, working, working, non-stop, since Miss Jones died. I think we deserve a little break.”
“We can break when we finish.” Homura flipped back to the page they were on. “Or we can break after Mami and Kyoko return from handling all the resurgent witches out there.” Homura resumed reading the instructions. “Insert backup (red) wire into Tab B. Quantum solder. Setting Alpha Blue as well.”
“Fine, fine.” Sayaka proceeded to do as the instructions told. “Still we could chat a little. You’ve been nothing but business all the way through.”
“Chat?” Homura slightly tilted her head. “About what?”
“Not sure,” Sayaka actually had a topic in mind, but wasn’t sure how and when it was the best time to broach it. “How many more of me did you hold on to?” Now was as good a time as any, she figured.
“Does it matter?”
“Well, they’ve all gotta go into stasis with her too.” Sayaka tightened the connection. “You know... So they don’t have to suffer.”
“Dozens. Homura lamented. “Maybe a hundred. I stopped counting when it got to be too much to count. Too many to bear.” She tried to keep from thinking about them all by staying on task. “Insert the ground (green) wire into Tab ‘C’. Quantum solder, setting Alpha Blue. Check that Tab ‘C’ wire leads to the diversionary capacitance system, its function explained in the diagram below.”
“I know I should be more upset about it, but when I really think about it more, the only reason I’m still here is because you’re still here because you used them all to keep yourself going.” Sayaka surveyed the wiring system.
“You’re here because Miss Jones saved you.” Homura countered. “I merely decided against killing you.” There was an awkward, uncomfortable pause between them for a few seconds. “But to be completely honest, that one was the only one that was used.”
“For reals?” Sayaka paused. “You’ve only ever used that one?”
“No, no.” Homura clarified. “It was used on me.”
“Who used it?”
“Madoka.” Homura’s answer caused Sayaka to fumble the multitool in her hand.
“Oh.” Sayaka glumly sighed. “God. Must’ve been the hardest thing she’d ever had to do.”
“I would imagine.” Homura swallowed her breath. “Though I admit, I was tempted to use them. Especially after acquiring such a surplus. But every time I took one out I hesitated, using the soul of someone that I knew, even if it was someone I didn’t much care for, it felt as if I’d be crossing a line somehow.”
“It felt wrong to see us as just Grief Seeds?”
“Yes.” Homura stared at the booklet. “Once I remembered that, and understood it, that was the moment I realized I still cared about you and Mami and Kyoko. It was the moment I decided to let you live.” A tear visibly trickled down her cheek. She discreetly dried it and continued reading the booklet instructions. “With the capacitor set, proceed to reset the set of circuits in the pictured wall panel ‘A’. On the next page.”
“Wow.” Sayaka inched over to the panel pictured on the page. “Okay.” She opened the paneling. “Funny how our morality works. Even when our survival depends on the sacrifice of somethin’ we’re emotionally attached to, we hesitate. “Cause it’d be a bit like having to slice off a piece of our own bodies.” She layed on her back and inspected the circuitry. “Wonder if that’s what separates humans from the other creatures?”
“Setting Gamma Green can scan these circuits and check for faulty or burned out connections.” Homura continued reading. “On the first dial, turn the large part from the twelve o’clock position, to the one o’clock position, leave or turn the secondary dial back to the six o’clock position, and turn the bottom knob to the seven o’clock position. The light at the tip of the multitool will turn from green to red if a problem with the circuitry is detected.”
“Check.” Sayaka scanned over the circuitry sets along the entire panel. “Everything looks good so far.” She smiled, but her smile faded as her thoughts wandered. “Damn. Now I can’t help but wonder about who all the witches I fought used to be. Like the TV witch. Or the dog witch. Or the doll witch. Even that awful no-show sweets witch that chomped Mami’s head off back then.”
“You mean you haven’t pieced that mystery together yet?” Homura stared at Sayaka, still lost in her musings. “You went to the hospital, you stood on watch, but instead of confronting the witch you expected to find, you returned with a new friend.”
“No.” Sayaka reacted. “Noooo!” Her mouth dropped. “Shit. God damn you, Kyubey.”
“In doing so, you performed a small, simple act of kindness that I admit was beyond my own capability.”
Sayaka glared at Kyubey peacefully sleeping inside the pet cage. “I want nothing more than to drop kick him into the fireyest depths of the Sun right now.”
“Welcome to the club.” Homura deadpanned. “We have T-shirts.”
“But we won’t do that,” Sayaka dismissed. “Because that would be nothing more than revenge.” She added, “And my Dad once told me, that the difference between justice and revenge is that justice serves harmony, while revenge is only about making yourself feel better.”
“Your Dad sounds pretty intelligent.”
“Naw!” Sayaka chuckled. “I think he got that from watching a movie.” She sat up and laughed a teary-eyed laugh. “And you know what else? I’m pretty sure Miss Jones cribbed her last words to me from somewhere else, too!” The two girls both burst into a hearty, yet sorrowful laugh in memory of their late Sensei together.
“I am awake.” Kyubey in his cage interrupted their moment. “I heard what you two said about doing to me, you know.”
“Oops. Sooooorry.” Sayaka sarcastically apologized.
“Not sorry.” Homura added, to both their mutual pleasure.
“I take it by your generally relaxed demeanor and frivolous behaviour, that your attempt to save your counterpart of this timeline was successful?” Kyubey was still recuperating as their rescue operation had finished. He had just reawakened and was not yet privy to the details.
“Yup.” Sayaka nodded. “Thanks for telling us exactly how they were going to try to stop us.”
“And I take it, with their collective consensus broken they were quick to retreat as well?”
“Indeed.” Homura acknowledged. “I still can’t believe that bluff worked as flawlessly as it did.”
“I credit your unique method of acting.” Sayaka playfully elbowed Homura’s side. “And the improv. Nice touch with that ‘ten thousand reasons’ bit.”
“It was nothing compared to your line about the tsunami. Almost had me convinced I was holding a real weapon.”
“Hey! I really do pay attention in Science class, you know!” Sayaka paused. “Aw, wow... That was a genuine compliment from you…”
“Since I aided so extensively in your formulation of a counter strategy,” Kyubey pleaded, “And since I was willing to let you use me as a template for the construction of a nonliving facsimile.”
“Made of one part cheese,” Homura remarked. “Two parts Kyoko magic.”
“I was wondering if you would be willing to let me out of this pet cage?”
“Well, that depends,” Sayaka itched her nose.
“Do you still intend to try to make a contract with Madoka?” Homura asked.
“Since you are in the process of developing a means to purify Soul Gems without needing a Grief Seed, I see no reason why she couldn’t-”
“Wrong answer!” The two girls said at exactly the same time.
Some more time had passed, they had made it through another dozen pages of wiring instructions, and Kyubey seemingly had drifted back to sleep. “On Terminal ‘F’, wire the primary (black) wire to Nodule One, the secondary (red) wire to Nodule Two, tertiary wire (white) to Nodule Three, and the safety wire (green) to Nodule Four. Nodule Five will connect to Terminal ‘G’.” Homura showed Sayaka the location of each point given in the instructions. Homura glanced over to check and see if Kyubey had fallen asleep for her chance to speak up.
“You heard right.” She said as under her breath as she could.
“Huh? What’d I hear right?” Sayaka heard and pressed.
“That secret of mine.” Homura admitted. “When we get too emotional or careless, our private thoughts can leak out telepathically.”
“Huh?” Sayaka briefly paused. “Oh. Ohhhhh!” She gasped as quietly as she could manage.
“And you were right.” She stiltedly uttered. “About me.” Her eyes darted back and forth from Sayaka’s to the floor and back again. “I’ve never.” She closed her eyes. “Been attracted.” She blushed. “To boys.” She finally mustered enough courage to open them again and gaze into the baby blue eyes of the girl she was talking to. “At all.”
“Uh, have you…” Sayaka inched closer until she was in whispering range. “Ever told anybody else about it?”
“I told some of the nuns back in my old school, they were my teachers.” Homura recalled. “But I was still a naïve child. I expected all adults to be sympathetic and encouraging, so I was surprised when they were less than receptive to my honesty.” Homura painedly closed her eyes.
“They didn’t…” Sayaka struggled to find her words. “Punish you, for just being who you are, did they?”
“One discouraged me from talking about it any further. Another said I was misinterpreting my own feelings. Another said she would pray for me every night.” Homura disgustedly sighed, “As if that ever accomplished anything. Then a younger one said I should look into becoming a nun too. And then another one claimed my feelings would change once I started talking with boys my age.”
“They must’ve really disappointed you.”
“Greatly.” Homura breathed. “Somehow, word of what I confessed to them got out to the other girls in my class. That’s when the bullying began. All fourteen of them, relentlessly. For the entire year.” She winced. For a second, it looked to Sayaka as though Homura were about to cry.
“Homura, I-” Sayaka motioned toward hugging her.
“Terminal ‘F’ operates in tandem with Terminal ‘G’,” Homura’s quick turn jolted Sayaka right back into working on the device. “Wire Terminal ‘G’ the same way as Terminal ‘F.’ There is a loose wire on Nodule Five of Terminal ‘G’ that is capped. Uncap it and connect it to Nodule Five of Terminal ‘F’. Homura awkwardly continued reading off the instructions for several more minutes. “Eventually,” Homura concluded, “After my health issues got worse, the nuns decided it was best that I transfer to a school nearer to a hospital that was better equipped to treat me. And a school where I would be able to interact with boys.” She furtively wiped some tears out of her eyes. “I’d forgotten most of my life before Madoka until recently.” She sniffed.
“Do you need a moment?”
“No.” Homura took a deep, stress-relieving breath. “Promise me you’ll never say anything to the others about my past. Or my secret thought.”
“Oh, I Promise. Cross my hearts. Hope to die. Stick a needle in my eye.” Sayaka gestured to both sides on her chest.
“What?”
“It’s like a saying, over in the west. It’s when someone makes a sacred promise about something.”
“So if you break it I’m allowed to stab your eye?”
“No, it’s nothing that serious-” Sayaka snickered. “It just goes that way to sound all dramatic and poetic or something.” She went back to wiring the terminal. “And I think ‘cause it sounds all rhymey wimey in English.”
“If you say so.”
“Sayaka! Sayaka!” Nagisa excitedly called through the sliding interior door.
“Yeah? What is it?” Sayaka immediately noticed her counterpart unsteadily leaning against the doorframe. “Oh! You’re awake?”
“So unreeeeeal!” The human Sayaka murmured as she hunched down and caught her breath.
“Nagisa, will you please help her make it over to that futon?” Sayaka pointed to it.
“Oh!” Nagisa as quickly as she entered turned around and positioned herself back under Sayaka’s body. “Sorry!”
“It’s fine.” Sayaka smiled. “I’ll be fine, thank you.” She helped Sayaka make herself comfortable on the futon. Nagisa then promptly yawned as she fluffed her patient’s pillow.
“What time is it right now?” The Time Lady noticed the little girl’s reflexive act.
“A bit past three in the morning, I believe.” Homura replied.
“Nagisa,” Sayaka called her name like a caring parent. “I think it’s time you get a good night’s rest too!”
“Do I haaaaaave to?”
“No,” Homura suddenly felt a light punch in the arm. “But scientific studies suggest that the benefits of sleep vastly outweigh the costs.”
“Good save.” The Time Lady beside her muttered.
“Ooooookayyyyy.” Nagisa sulked back to the door. She turned her head back at the doorway. “Hey, can you tell me more of that story you told me last time? The one about the vampire who had to kill her twin sister? I really really liked it!” Her question perked the Sayaka on the futon’s ear.
“She’s busy working to fix this device for the moment,” Homura stood up and flipped her hair. “I suppose I can spare a moment to tuck you into bed, however.”
“You?” Sayaka somewhat skeptically tilted her head.
“I shouldn’t be long.” Homura joined Nagisa at the doorway. “Besides, I would imagine that the two of you have some rather intimately personal matters to discuss.”
***
“Why do the witches look so weird?” Nagisa asked as Homura tucked her into bed.
“I don’t know.” Homura answered. “I’ve never given the subject much thought.”
“Oh. Why?”
“Because when one is trying to kill you, you don’t exactly have time to dwell into their psyches.”
“Oh.” Nagisa blinked. “You know why I think they look so weird?” Clearly this young lady was still a bit too wound up to simply slip quietly into the night.
“No.” Homura was willing to indulge her. “Why do you think they look the way they do?”
“Because I don’t think they think they look weird at all.” She slightly smiled. “I think they think they look cute.”
Homura curiously tilted her head. “Why would you believe that?”
“Because of the people they catch.”
“Explain.”
“Well, because people’ll stay away from things that are weird and ugly, and they like things that are cute and pretty,” She quickly said in a breath. “And I’ve seen lotsa people get caught by the witches, which means the people they catch don’t see them as ugly, but as pretty,” She explained. “So if the witches can make them all think that, then the witches have to believe it’s true, too!” She finished with an-eager-to-please type of smile.
“I…” Homura paused. “Suppose I can spot the seeds of logic to that notion.”
“Yeah!” Nagisa’s little smile brightened. “It’s just like whenever my mom used to put on all that makeup and go on TV!”
“Your mother was on television?” Homura seized on the opportunity to switch topics.
“Oh, yeah! All the time!” Nagisa nodded. “My Dad would get up early every morning and watch her show and I’d sit there beside him and I’d watch it too! ‘Cause seeing him happy made me happy too!”
“Didn’t seeing your mom in front of an audience make you happy as well?”
“No.” Nagisa shook her head on the pillow. “Her show seemed really boring. I didn’t get it.”
“I see.” Homura replied. “You were at least content in seeing that she was an influence on the lives of others.”
“I guuuuess,” Nagisa meekly sighed. “But every day that she had to go on, she’d spend lotsa time in her Dressing Room, putting on lotsa makeup, and when she finally came back out to see us and leave, she’d look all weird like she was almost a whole different person!”
“Maintaining a public image takes a lot of laborious effort, I imagine.”
“Yeah, yeah!” Nagisa quickly sucked in another breath. “There was this one time, when I really wanted to make my Dad happy, so I snuck into my Mom’s Dressing Room and found her makeup and put it all over my face and I showed him!”
“Did you get the reaction you expected?”
“Yeah!” Nagisa cheerily nodded. “He laughed and laughed and then he took a picture and then we went out and had fun at the park!” But her sudden cheer just as quickly vanished. “But when we got home my Mom found out what I did and I was sent to bed without food. And I heard them fighting about it all night.”
“Your intentions were honest and good, if lacking in foresight.” Homura assured. “That such a harmless act could trigger such an intense argument implies that the two of them had larger issues.”
“Do your parents fight too?” Nagisa asked.
“I didn’t have parents.” Homura answered. “I’m an orphan.”
“Really?” Nagisa’s eyes widened. “You’re lucky! You’re free!”
“I assure you, I am neither lucky nor free.”
“Yeah you are!” Nagisa insisted. “No one’s gonna tell you when you have to go to bed! No one’s gonna tell you to go to school when you don’t wanna! No one’s gonna tell you when it’s okay to eat candy! No one’s gonna make you finish your eggs!”
“They care about you. I’d certainly trade a little of that freedom for someone who cared.”
“No one’s gonna yell at you for taking some tuna to the stray cat!” Nagisa went on. “No one’s gonna scream at you for failing your reading test! No one’s gonna lie and say they love you and they’re gonna be home soon!” Homura was quite unexpectedly surprised by this girl’s palpable envy. “Then not come home! No one’s gonna make you fake being sick at the restaurant so she don’t have to pay, then tell you you’re faking being sick when you’re really sick and make you go to school anyway and you throw up on the teacher!” She choked. “No one’s gonna lock you in your room so you can’t go to a birthday party and then go to her big grownup party!” She sobbed. “No one’s gonna scream at you for putting on makeup, then putting some on you anyway when your eye hurts!”
“I see.” Homura stared empathetically into Nagisa’s teary, two-colored eyes. “Here.” She rolled her sleeve over her hand and dabbed away the tears.
“Thanks.” The young girl grabbed Homura’s sleeve and rubbed it all around her face. She appreciatively smiled. The two sat in an almost funerary silence for the next few minutes. “Was I a cute witch?”
“What?”
“When you saw me before. Was I cute?” Homura was outright shocked. While no one had pulled her aside and explicitly told her the reason why they had so much foreknowledge, or why there were now two Sayakas, by this point it would not have been hard for even a child like her to deduce the reasons on her own. Much more surprising to Homura, was that a girl like Nagisa would be introspective enough to contemplate her own fates in those many past timelines. And then perceptive enough to guess about it from the way Homura and Miss Jones interacted with her. And now she could plainly tell by Homura’s offput reaction that her intuition was right and she had been a witch in the past. “Was I?”
“So you’ve pieced it together?” Nagisa nodded. “You were-” She nodded more and more eagerly. Such sadness. So much despair. More pain and loss than any child should ever have to bear. For the small crime of being vulnerable she’d been sentenced to die by Homura’s own hand time after time after time. At least two dozen that she could readily recall. Yet Homura never tried what Sayaka did by accident. She never even took so much as an extra second to mourn the witch’s lost innocence. What could she possibly say to this girl that could rectify any of it? “The cutest.” She answered in a regretful, quick breath.
“And if your mother ever says anything, or does anything ever again, that you truly feel makes her unworthy of your love,” Homura choked as she made an attempt to apologize. “Run away. Run away as fast as you can and don’t ever look back!”
“Run? Run where?”
“To where I live. If you go to sleep now, I will show you first thing tomorrow.”
***
“Saya Otonashi!” Sayaka snapped her fingers. “From Okinawa! That anime we stayed up late to watch when we were little! Those creepy bat things gave us nightmares for weeks!”
“Good thing Mom worked her later shift back then,” Time Lady Sayaka smiled. “She’d have never let us watch a show that violent!”
“But Daddy, though,” Sayaka let out a long, exhausted sigh. “He’d let us stay up and watch all the sad stuff and scary stuff and grown-up stuff, and he’d sit there right by our side holding our hand though it all. He’s way too good to us.” She nostalgically sighed. “I can get why you had to lie, but still, how did I not figure out you were phoney from the start?”
“Because,” Time Lady Sayaka scanned the tangled mess of wires along an open wall panel with a glow-tipped wand. “You and me never stop and think anything over until it almost walks right up and punches our faces.” She stopped scanning, paused, then added, “And also because Miss Jones hid a perceptual filter in my hair clip so that I could hide right in plain sight.”
“Please don’t give me a headache bigger than the one I’ve already got!”
“You see that drawer right next to you?” Sayaka pointed to it. “There’s a bunch of chocolate bars inside, take one and chow down.”
“Why?” She gradually opened the drawer. “What’s it got to do with-”
“Trust me. It’ll do you wonders!”
The skeptical Sayaka slowly slid the bar from the wrapper. She then took a nibbling bite from it. “Wow! So you’re really me, aren’t you?”
“Yup. Really you.” Her counterpart working on the wall panel replied. “Everything on the outside’s the same, right down to that Hokkaido-shaped birthmark on our-”
“Yeah, okay.” Sayaka cut her other self off. “I get the point.” To her genuine surprise, her splitting headache was starting to wane as whatever was in the candy bar was already taking effect. “And that Grief Seed,” she hesitated, “It was us too?”
“Yes she was.” Sayaka answered. “Poor girl. She made a wish and fell to despair. All in service to Kyubey’s sick little con.” The Sayaka on the futon angrily glared in the caged Kyubey’s direction. “I know what you’re thinkin’. But he’s not worth it.” The Time Lady then added, “Our theory is he’s just a tool, and at the moment he’s the only lead we’ve got on whoever’s pulling all the strings.”
“Ugh, whatever. I don’t even have it in me to swat a mosquito right now, anyway.” Sayaka fell back on the cushion and stared contemplatively at her tinkering counterpart. “So what happened to you, then? What’s your story?”
“Geez, where should I even start?” Sayaka thought for a moment. “I made my wish. Should’ve Sealed my fate. Was all set to wind up just like her. Then Miss Jones found me. And thanks to her and Homura, here I am.” She decided to keep it as short and straightforward as she could.
“So this place, whatever it is, it belonged to Miss Jones?” Her counterpart nodded. “Man, it’s huge!”
“Wait ‘til you see from the outside.” Sayaka snickered.
“So how’d she die?” Sayaka’s eyes searched around. “Miss Jones?”
“She-” Sayaka could read the subtext in her counterpart’s mournful, venerative tone. “In order to save you she had to make me like her. But it cost her life.”
“Are you doing okay?” She could also detect a tinge of loneliness in her voice too.
“Y’know, after the first time when I watched a person I really looked up to die, I had just been through my first battle,” She stopped working and pensively set the glowing wand she was holding onto the floor. “I wanted to look like I was this new confident and courageous, and capable person...” Her voice trailed. “But the truth was I was exactly the same Sayaka who was scared that she was in way over her head, and not even sure that she was someone worthy of taking over for the person she admired.” She sat up and stared at the strange-looking helmet suspended from the ceiling. “And now, after all the miracles that it took to put me here, I can’t help but wonder if I’ve just wound up in exactly the same situation.”
“She-” Sayaka stammered, “She didn’t want to tell them she was having trouble coping, either. She couldn’t admit that she needed help. She didn’t want to look weak or uncommitted.” With her headache vanishing, the hazy visions of both her own life and her past life were slowly but gradually coalescing back into intelligible memories. “So when she couldn’t take it any more…” Sayaka paused. She had this hazy, yet persistent memory of her witch counterpart doing something truly abhorrent moments before her downfall, yet at the same time, she couldn’t picture herself as someone capable of inflicting something so unspeakable onto other people. “She just broke. Completely snapped.” Was it a mere delusional revenge fantasy? “And that’s what destroyed her.” Then why would her witch leave something so stomach-churning in her mind? “And how she wound up like that.”
“So when the going gets tough, the tough have gotta toss their stubborn ass pride aside and get some help.” The young Time Lady winced. “Geez. It sounds like a pretty dang obvious lesson when looking at it from a third perspective. Flippin’ cliché even.”
“And pick your battles. And don’t ever pick one that you’ve already lost.” Sayaka suddenly recalled her own less severe, but still appalling act of petty vengeance against her friend. “Hitomi didn’t deserve that. I really need to apologize.”
“First, I gotta say a few ‘I’m sorries’ to you,” Time Lady Sayaka got to her feet and strolled over to the futon. “For a bunch of the crazy stuff that’s happened to you.” She sat down beside herself. “Some of it was because of certain things I did. Like, remember that day you got accused of dine-and-dashing?”
“You know about that?”
“It’s because I was there! Miss Jones and I were at that restaurant having breakfast, then we spotted Kyubey, took off to chase him, and we plum forgot to pay. We were the ones holding up the bathroom on you.”
“Holy cow!”
“Yeaaaaah, sorry!” Sayaka smiled while she sheepishly scratched the back of her head.
“Aw, heck It’s fiiiiiiine!” Sayaka playfully waved at herself. “No big deeeeal! Office bathroom was a better bathroom anyway!”
“Then after we all came together and saved you, I asked Madoka what her deal was with Kyosuke. I could tell she wasn’t too enthusiastic about spilling the beans, and I didn’t have a lot of time to pry anyway, but she did tell me that she went to his room looking for you, they got to talking a bit, then they held hands, and to his big awesome surprise, he totally felt her touch on his hand!”
“Really? But what’s that got to do with-?”
“You see, as a magical girl I’m supposed to have this healing magic.” Sayaka elaborated. “That was ‘cause of my original wish. But I hadn’t quite figured out how to use it right. So some time just before they got together, I had been up in his room trying to practice my healing magic on him.” She took her human counterpart’s hand. “But I thought I’d failed, so when she told me what happened, that’s when it hit me...” She grinned. “My magic had actually worked on him after all!”
“Nooooooooo...” Human Sayaka gasped, her eyes widening in amazement. "Waaaaayyy!” She excitedly took her Time Lady double’s other hand.
“Sorry! Madoka just got to be the right girl at the right place in the right moment, and she was the one who got credit!” They both paused for a brief moment, before bursting into a teary-eyed uproarious laughter.
“At least they’re gonna be a cute couple!” Human Sayaka resignedly cackled.
“Yeah!” Time Lady Sayaka agreed. “The cutest!”
“And the wackiest part is,” Sayaka chuckled. “Madoka doesn’t even care for guitar ballads!”
“Yeah!” Sayaka’s laughter abruptly stopped. “Wait, what?”
Through the door, Homura overheard the Sayakas vigorously debating. In fact, it almost sounded to her as if they were arguing. Leave it to Sayaka to pick a fight with herself. Homura stoically sighed and rolled her eyes.
“Am I interrupting you two?” Homura fixed the cuff of her sleeve as she stepped through the sliding door.
“Uh, yeah,” The Human Sayaka rolled over on her futon cushion.
“This girl’s got memories of our witch’s life. And now she’s convinced that Kyosuke plays the guitar.” The young Time Lady Sayaka scanned the circuitry on the underside of the computer console with her glow-tipped wand.
“He does! I swear it!” She shouted from the futon. “I distinctly remember watching him play ‘The Girl With Flaxen Hair’ on his Grandpa’s old guitar for our seventh grade talent show!”
“I’m not saying you’re wrong,” Sayaka poked into the console’s innards. “But I just can’t imagine the world seeing Kyosuke as such a prodigy for mastering an instrument as commonplace as the guitar.”
“Ha! Like the violin’s anything special!”
“Homura,” The Time Lady stopped working and turned to her. “Did you encounter any timelines where he played something besides the violin?”
“As a matter of fact,” Homura casually flipped her hair and sat down beside her. “I did. Numerous ones.”
“For reals?” The Sayakas said in unison.
“Indeed,” Homura turned her head and gave a slight smirk. “There were even timelines where his instrument of choice was the ukulele.”
“What?” They said in one voice again. “You’re joking!” The Time Lady prodded.
“Maybe. Maybe not. I suppose you’ll never know.”
“Hmmm.” The Human Sayaka leaned a little closer on her cushion and squinted at Homura. “Weeeeeiird!”
“Huh. What is it?” Homura glanced in her direction.
“Didn’t you like,” Sayaka combed through long imaginary strands down her own haircut. “Used to have a long pair of twin-tailed braids?” The Time Lady beside Homura abruptly paused her work on the console and examined Homura’s hair.
“Once upon a time. But I’ve changed.” Homura promptly smacked away Sayaka’s playful attempt to re-braid it at the tip.
“Speaking of changed,” The Human Sayaka continued. “I also remember… Barely surviving a really close call with a very nasty witch with you back then,” She paused and processed. “That kind of thing should really endear someone to ya’,” She lightly bit her lip. “Yet I also got this distinct feeling like that other me came to dislike you. Hate you, even.” She slowly sat up and asked her question. “What happened?”
“What happened was…” Homura paused. “She was the first person I tried telling the truth about witches to.”
“I was?” Both the Sayakas gasped.
“She didn’t accept it. Soon after, once I tried telling the others I guess she coped with it by dismissing me as a duplicitous agitator.”
“Is that why you didn’t tell me?” Time Lady Sayaka glared at her. “Because you thought I couldn’t cope with it well?”
“And with Miss Jones working towards a viable alternative to the Grief Seeds,” Homura sighed. “We both decided that it wasn’t information you needed to have.” She looked away and wistfully played with the same tip of her hair that Sayaka had just tried braiding. “I see now that was a mistake. I’m sorry.”
“Was that all it was?” The Sayaka on the futon pressed.
“What do you mean?” Homura asked.
“I dunno.” Sayaka repeatedly blinked. “It’s like, I can’t remember every single detail of what happened to her in her life, but I just feel as if there was something… Else about you that really drove her off a cliff.”
“If there was,” Homura hesitated. “I can’t say I recall what it could have been either. It was a long time ago.”
“Well, whatever it was,” Sayaka stuck out her hand as if to offer an across-the-room handshake. “On our behalf, I’m sorry.”
“So we’re all in agreement, then.” Time Lady Sayaka lightly pat Homura on the back. “Bygones be bygones?”
“Very well.” Homura gave them a quick head nod. “Bygones.”
“Hey, you guys,” The Sayaka on the futon had just noticed something peculiar on the side of the control console facing her. “You’ve got a blinking light over here!” Her counterpart promptly jolted off her back to check on what she had seen.
“What’s the issue?” Homura asked.
“Auxiliary batteries fully charged.” Sayaka read the message. “Press to engage?” The curious Sayaka pressed the button. A familiar form appeared before their eyes.
“Miss Jones?” Homura gasped.
“Greetings.” It introduced itself. “I am the TARDIS Security and Tactical Systems Holographic Support Program. My purpose is to assist the TARDIS pilots in any cases of emergency.”
“And you’re the spittin’ image of Miss Jones.” The Sayaka on the futon remarked.
“This form was chosen because it was a mutually recognized and respected authority figure extracted from psychological analysis of your collective bioforms.”
“I can’t say I’m terribly comfortable with that.” Homura folded her arms.
“Yeah, me neither.” Time Lady Sayaka agreed. “She just died. Feel like we’d be talking to a ghost.”
“Can you change into someone you think we’d be more comfortable with?” Homura requested.
“As you wish.” The Hologram’s form dissolved, and after a few moments it reappeared before them in its next form.
“Madoka’s Mom?” The Human Sayaka tilted her head. It had assumed the appearance of an early middle-aged woman in full suited business attire.
“Hmmm.” Homura squinted her eyes. “Not quite.” The form before them had hair a shade lighter, and was much longer than the short-cut style of Madoka’s mother, and its eyes were a uniquely inhuman tint of golden yellow.
“This is a customized avatar, based upon another mutually respected individual in your lives.”
“I can work with it.” The Time Lady Sayaka nodded.
“Yes. It’ll function.” Homura agreed.
“So, you’re here to help us stop Walpurgisnacht, huh?” The young Time Lady asked.
“Correct. One of my programmed specialties is the formulation of effective battle strategies.” The holographic Junko Kaname replied.
“Any ideas?” She followed up.
“First and foremost, it is imperative that you avoid unnecessary noncombatant casualties. With the time remaining, I highly recommend this city be evacuated.”
“That’s hundreds of thousands of people.” Homura stated. “I hope you have a proposal for how we’re going to clear such a logistical hurdle.”
“I can devise such a strategy. But first I require data on the city’s layout and infrastructure. That would require access to the human race’s global system of interconnected computer networks.” It turned to Sayaka. “I request permission to interface what you call ‘The Internet’.”
“Sure. Go ahead.” Sayaka permissed.
“Connection made.” The hologram said. “Data collected. Now formulating an evacuation plan.”
“Woooooooooh!” Kyoko came bursting through the TARDIS entry door. “Aaaaahhhh! Man, what a night! Never thought I’d get sick of puttin’ the finisher on witches! But-'' She immediately saw the girl resting on the futon and excitedly smiled. “Sayaka! Yer-” She ran over and sat beside her. “Awake! Are you okay?”
“Real tired and my head feels like someone really messed with it.” Sayaka warmly smiled back. “But I’ll be okay.”
“I’m pleased to report that Kyoko and I have successfully tracked down and defeated a great many of the respawned and hyperstimulated Grief Seeds from the park each.” Mami more calmly and formally made her entry. “But I fear that there remain too many others to track down before they hurt anyone.”
“I suggest you bring in reinforcements.” The hologram proposed. “For dealing with both the immediate issue and the imminent battle with Walpurgisnacht.”
“Oh?” Mami stared at the hologram. “Im sorry. Who’s this?”
“An avatar of the TARDIS’s Security and Tactical System.” Homura introduced.
“That also looks a lot like Madoka’s Mom.” Sayaka on the futon added.
“I see.” Mami stepped closer to it. “Well, I already figured help would need to be brought in for Walpurgisnacht’s attack, but…”
“Pssst! Sayaka!” Kyoko whispered to her friend as they laid together on the futon. “I took yer friend home and kept her up to speed for ya’!” She pulled Sayaka’s phone from her sweatshirt.
“Thanks.” Sayaka took her phone and turned it on. “Ugh!” Eighteen unread messages from her father. Twenty six from her mother. Seven voicemails from her father. Nine more from her mother.
“Yer mom seems real pissed!” Kyoko remarked.
“And I lost my dad’s trust.” Sayaka scrolled through the messages. “Boy, did I ever screw things up for myself.”
“If you wanna, you can stay on the lam with me for a few more days.” Kyoko offered. “Worry ‘em so sick that when you come home they’ll be so glad to see ya’ they couldn’t stay mad at ya’!”
“Thanks, but,” Sayaka was actually pretty tempted by the idea. But it didn’t seem right to her to so blatantly manipulate their feelings that way. “I can’t do that to them.” She glanced at her counterpart, who had discreetly returned to whatever she was previously working on. “It’s my mess. I may not have been the one who caused it all, but,” She sighed. “It’s still my responsibility. I gotta be the one who cleans it up and faces the music.”
BEEP! BEEP! BEEP! A noise blared from the console.
“What was that?” Mami asked.
“A power usage warning.” The hologram replied. “Because this vessel is presently in Low Power Mode, daily usage of auxiliary systems such as mine have been capped at one hour per thirty-two hour cycle, which is approximately one Gallifreyan day.” She slightly nodded her head. “I now have half the allotted time remaining as an active program.”
“Maybe I could try disabling the protocol?” Sayaka said from under the space she was working.
“I would advise against it.” The hologram explained. “With the auxiliary and tertiary systems already heavily rewired, and redundant components cannibalized, there is a risk of causing an unforeseen power surge which could permanently disable me. It is not a risk worth taking.” She turned towards Homura and Mami. “My program can still run battle scenarios and make tactical assessments while dormant. While active I shall have to convey my information and advice to you as quickly and efficiently as possible.”
“We have one week before Walpurgisnacht arrives.” Homura stated.
“That will allow time for approximately five more active cycles.”
“Ya’ remember when we were back at the train station and we had that warm-’n’-fuzzy moment together before that little Shitweasel Kyubey ruined it?” Kyoko was paying little attention to the strategy session happening across the room.
“Yeah.” Sayaka replied, then added, “Vaguely.”
“I know it ain’t none of my business or ‘nuthin’’,” Kyoko leaned a little closer. “But I gotta know. What was it you were gonna wish for?”
“My wish?” Sayaka thought hard. She recalled having a bunch of wishful thoughts in mind while stewing in her own misery self-loathing back at that station. From the small and selfish… Wish it so that their lunchroom fight never happened. Or to become Kyosuke’s girlfriend, or to heal his hand and to make sure he exactly knows who and why. To the mean and petty… To break up Madoka and Kyosuke, to make the lunchroom fight all Madoka and Hitomi’s fault. To the outright cruel… To wish that Hitomi never found love. Thinking of them only made her inner pain and anger feel fresh again. Was her heart really in that dark a place before she touched that Grief Seed? Was that what made her so open to the resurrected witch’s influence? She could tell by the sanguine look in Kyoko’s eyes that any of those answers would’ve probably disappointed her. “I was gonna wish for…” She deeply swallowed. Then a little white lie popped into her head. “For Kyosuke to live a happy life!”
“D’awwww…” Kyoko playfully growled. “Ya’ big sap!” She lightly punched Sayaka in the arm. “Tch! Lucky I’d have been there to catch ya’ when ya’ fell flat on yer ass!”
“I know.” Sayaka comfortably sighed. “Thanks.”
“Well, I think that’s pretty much it. It’s ready to go.” The young Time Lady slid out from behind a panel and reset the Soul Gem cleansing microwave back in its place inside the wall. She flipped through the remaining pages of Miss Jones’s instructions. “What’s left is mostly a bunch of redundant system checks and optional software patches.”
“I can confirm the viability of all natively integrated components.” The hologram of Junko Kaname disappeared and reappeared at Sayaka’s side. “But the customized and hybridized components are beyond the scope of my programming. Ultimately, the only way to know if your rebuild attempt was successful, is to test the device.”
“Well, how ‘bout it, guys?” Sayaka held out her hand. “Gonna trust me with your lives?”
Kyoko leaped straight up from the futon and trotted over. “Sure ‘nuff!” She slapped her Soul Gem in Sayaka’s hand.
“Yes.” Homura transformed, came over and handed over her diamond-shaped Soul Gem. “We do.” She then gave her Nagisa’s.
“It is with this act I am once again a girl of hope.” Mami poetically relinquished her Soul Gem, overlooking an irreverent little snicker from Kyoko.
Sayaka placed each gem inside the Microwave, then affixed a transmat gem to the helmet as per Miss Jones’s example. “Here we go everybody!” She set the timer. “Three… Two... One…”