Chapter Text
It felt like ages since you’ve had some of Skull’s cooking. Even though you know it’s only been about a week at this point. Aside from the day…or was it two days? That you were gone. You couldn’t remember. It felt so much longer than it probably was. Your sense of time was pretty skewed right now. You didn’t even know how long you had slept before you had awoken in Nightmare’s room. It was nice to be able to eat with your family, though the pangs of pain in your chest were still there. Even as you ate your lovingly crafted plate of food.
You winced as you rubbed your chest, pausing in your slow eating. You were still trying to process everything that your boys had told you. How Killer and Dust enjoyed what they had done in the past. The hurt they’ve spread and enjoyed it. You felt your eyes prick as you thought back to the three people you had hurt. You weren’t willing. It was for survival. You had to get back to Nightmare and the gang.
“(Y/n)? Are you alright?” Nightmare asked softly, his finger brushing against your head. You flinched at the touch and he pulled his hand away. You looked up at him and saw the guilt on his face. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to…surprise you.” He murmured.
“No…no it’s okay.” You tried to give him a small smile. “I just…my chest hurts.” You knocked your knuckles against your sternum.
“does it ache?” Dust’s voice made you look over to him. You noticed that he had pulled his hood over his skull and it was casting a bit of a shadow on his face. You could only really see his eyelights.
“Yeah. It feels deeper than like…someone punching me in the chest.” You looked down at your hands. The feeling was more like…an ache of something missing. Like something was taken from you the moment you had killed that woman bitty.
“you’re feeling the aftermath of getting your first LV rush.” Dust looked down at his plate, pushing around his food. Skull had made a wonderful meatloaf with mashed potatoes and cauliflower. But Dust didn’t seem very appetized by it. “‘s like your innocence was taken away.” You frowned a little and looked down at your plate.
“…yeah…that makes sense to me.” You mumbled. You kept eating, despite how your stomach turned. You didn’t want to make Skull sad by not eating the food he had made for all of you. You were pretty sure he was stress cooking, but he was still in the kitchen, puttering around with all of the food. Your eyes moved to him as you thought about how he hasn’t sat down yet.
You saw his large back hunched over the stove, his hands on either side of it. His hands clenched and unclenched against the metal surface. You felt that something was off, since he was usually eating with everyone else. Nightmare noticed your gaze, also looking over at Skull. He also seemed to notice something you didn’t. He stood up from the table, walking over to the big skeleton.
“hey bit.” You looked over to Killer, who set down a round candy that was wrapped in a gold foil. He pushed it towards you. “try eating this, it’ll probably help with the empty feeling.”
“Are these Dream’s candies?” You scrunch your nose a little at it. Killer chuckled lightly, you knew that laugh. It wasn’t a happy one. He’s also been very quiet during dinner. Though he had cleaned the tar off his face before dinner, the bags under his eyes seemed darker than before.
“yeah. as much as i don’t like dream, they do work.” Killer propped his head up on the table with his hand. “we’ve…been needing them. so we have plenty.”
“Oh…okay.” You nodded a little, not bothering to ask. They already told you what they had done. You didn’t need to be reminded. You unwrapped the candy as best as you could, noting how it was kind of soft to the touch. It was covered in a sweet smelling powder and it smelled very citrusy. It was about the size a basketball would be to a normal person. “I’m…not going to be able to finish all of it.”
“just eat as much as you can stomach. i’ll have the rest.” Killer hummed, watching you closely.
You nodded at him and took a bite of the soft candy. The thing that hit you first was the tart, tart taste of lemon. Your face screwed up involuntarily at the sour taste. You could hear Dust and Killer both chuckle at your reaction. It was the best thing about eating this candy. You chewed it as it started to very quickly melt in your mouth. Your belly felt warm for a moment, the aching in your chest fading for a moment. The magic of the candy made your entire body tingle.
Then you felt like a rock hit the bottom of your stomach, as you immediately started to cramp. You let out a strangled little cry and doubled over. You gagged hard as your body rejected what you had just eaten. You finally were able to throw up a yellow glittery sludge along with the glittery remains of the monster food you had also eaten.
“shit shit shit,” There was a screech of chairs on the kitchen floor as Killer and Dust both stood up to hover over you. You weren’t able to say anything as you gagged on the sour taste again, tears flooding your eyes at the stinging feeling in your nose. You coughed, kneeling as you tried to catch your breath. You were very quickly scooped up by very warm, boney hands. The smell of cotton and a metallic hint told you it was Dust who had picked you up.
“What did you give them?” Nightmare had walked back over to the table, looking a little alarmed.
“it was just one of dream’s candies.” Killer said. You opened your eyes to watch Killer lift up the yellow candy that had a tiny bite out of it. “i didn’t know they would react like that! i thought it would help them with the LV craving.” Killer looked a little frustrated, at what you couldn’t tell.
“(Y/n) didn’t get enough EXP to even start having LV cravings. They only went up two levels.” Nightmare looked down at you, a tentacle lifting from his back and rubbing against your cheek very gently. “Are you alright?” You leaned into the cool touch, sighing softly as the uncomfortable heat rolled through your body. You nodded a little, too winded to say anything. As if you weren’t already tired.
“they probably react like that because it’s too much positive magic.” Dust murmured, picking up a napkin and wiping your face with it. “kind of like what happened to you.” He glanced up at Nightmare.
“Are you sure? What happened to me had me sick for weeks. It nearly killed me.”
“well, beetle ain’t really made of negativity. that’s the only reason that i can think of that would make them have such an instant reaction.”
“But I…didn’t even feel any of the positivity?” You mumbled, sitting up at last.
“they’re not supposed to make us feel instantly happier. they only really make it so we can function without the rush LV gives us. there’s not really a medication i know of that i can compare that to.” Dust handed you off to Nightmare. You still felt warm as you held onto his cool, slick hands. You shivered a little as you curled up, feeling nauseous and tired.
“...sorry.” Killer murmured so softly. Your head popped up at his tone. He sounded so guilty, and he looked it too. He had tar trailing from his sockets again, and you could tell that he wasn’t looking at you.
“It’s okay. I don’t think any of us would have expected that, hah.” You gave him a weak smile, but he still didn’t look at you. It made you falter a little. You really didn’t want to make him feel bad. “At least I only took a bite.”
“you still look really pale, (y/n).” Dust pointed out.
“I mean, I did just empty my guts.” You shrugged a shoulder, rubbing your forehead.
“Can you still eat?” Nightmare asked you, tilting your head up with the side of his claw. You paused for a moment and shook your head. “You can come with me then. I’m turning in early.” Nightmare sets you down on his shoulder. You were able to see Killer and Dust now. Killer had sat back down while Dust had grabbed his empty plate (it looks like he pushed the rest of his food onto Killer’s plate), and walked over to sink. You couldn’t see his expression as Nightmare started to walk through the house.
You looked around the house, looking at the pictures on the walls and just…thought. This has been your home for several months at this point. Being with these skeletons and managing to survive the first week. Hell, you survived a month, even though you had a near death experience. You were glad to be back in this house. Your eyes caught the cubby that the TV mostly covered, which held all of the game consoles. You could see into the cubby from your spot on Nightmare’s shoulder. It’s been cleaned since the last time you were on it, but it still reminded you of your first night in the house.
“…are we really moving?” You asked, your hands gripping onto Nightmare’s shirt. The skeleton didn’t say anything for a few moments as he walked past the living room and to his bedroom.
“It’s safer this way.” Nightmare murmured as he closed the door behind him. “It doesn’t matter what happens, they’ll investigate that…place and find out that monsters killed all of those humans. We didn’t think about cameras or survivors when we attacked.” Nightmare gently took you off his shoulder, holding you cupped in both of his hands. Like you were something fragile. Something worth keeping safe. “The…castle, despite holding many unpleasant memories, will be safer than here. I spoke with Blue over the phone, and he agreed.”
“Blue is agreeing with you? To let us leave?” You held onto one of his phalanges as he sat down on his bed.
“He helped us save you, (Y/n).” Nightmare brushed your cheek with a thumb. “I’m sure it was his brother that convinced him to help. Or maybe his own guilt of hurting you, but he was essential.”
“I’m not really sure how to feel about that.” You felt a warring mix of emotions at the knowledge that Blue had helped. But the feeling was overwhelmed by the knowledge that Stretch had also helped.
“I didn’t expect you to be jumping for joy, mouse.” Nightmare mused. He sighed and set you on one hand to shuffle more comfortably on his bed. You held on tightly as you watched your skeleton. His single socket looked so tired. The eyelight was fuzzy and dull. Now that you were on one hand, you could feel the slight tremble to it still. “At least he’s trying to be better. Even if he has quite a ways to go.” Nightmare rested his hand on his lap. He closed his socket, taking in a deep breath.
You stood up in his hand slowly, making him stir. He opened his eye socket, saying nothing as you walked up his lap. It was second nature at this point, scurrying your way up to his chest and making yourself comfortable. You held on tightly to his shirt, curling up into a ball. You felt your eyes burn as you held onto him. It brought back those feelings of homesickness you had gotten when you were in the ring. How you genuinely felt as though you would die. A large hand moved over you, covering you like a cool, silk blanket. In contrast, you felt hot, salty tears dripping from your eyes. They burned, but it felt so nice to be able to cry in the safety of Nightmare’s hands. Nightmare stroked a phalange down your spine as you shook silently. He said nothing as you wept, he didn’t need to.
You wiped your tears away as they began to dry up. You didn’t have anything left in you. You practically just cried everything you had just drank earlier. Though your mouth hadn't been as dry as when you woke up. You were grateful for that small mercy at the very least. You heaved a hiccuping sigh as you relaxed on Nightmare’s chest, slowly unraveling from the fetal position.
“Feel better?” Nightmare’s voice rumbled in his ribcage, vibrating through you. You sniffled as you nodded, holding onto his phalange with a tired grasp. “Good. Sleep, you need your energy for tomorrow.” Nightmare leaned down, pressing his teeth to your head in a soft kiss.
“Wait.” Your voice cracked as you were still recovering. You sat up a little on his chest, looking up at his one good socket. The reminder of your dry mouth had brought you back to the family meeting the house had. When they told you a little about their past. “You said,” You swallowed hard, nervousness bubbling up. “You said that you would tell me what happened in your universe.” You felt Nightmare stiffen and his chest stop rising and falling.
“…Ah, yes. I did say that, didn't I.” It wasn’t as much of a question as it was a realization. You saw his face twist into one of regret and distaste. “Are you sure you want to hear it? It…isn’t a pleasant story.”
“I don’t expect it to be a good one, Nightmare. I need to know.” You stood up on his sternum, placing your hand on his cheek. Nightmare’s furrowed brow relaxed a little as he sighed again, closing his socket.
“Get comfortable, this will be a long story.” He sat up, making you fall back into a waiting tentacle. It curled around you as Nightmare shoved off his slippers (that he wore in the bed, making you think that he picked up some bad habits from the other skeletons). Once he was under his blankets and now without his sweater, he set you down in his lap once more. You quickly shifted so that you were sitting on one of his raised knees, perched firmly on him. He chuckled softly at you, at what you had no clue. It could just be the nerves though.
“Where do I start in this story?…Hmm,” Nightmare set a hand next to you, which you quickly placed a hand over. His tense smile softened, though it was very obvious the pain of bringing back up these memories. “Ah…let’s start when Dream and I were young.”
“Dream and I are princes of what one would consider a Goddess. Nim, the Tree of Feeling, was our mother. We were the cumulations of good and bad emotions. Positivity and negativity. Dreams and nightmares.” Nightmare took in a deep breath, closing his socket as he collected his thoughts. “We were once very close. We were brothers, best friends. We spent every moment together. We protected the Tree of Feelings, along with the fruit the tree grew. We kept balance, even though we were just children. We were so young. Not even ten.
“As we grew, Dream was clearly favored in the village that had been founded not far from our tree. Who wouldn’t want to be friends with him? He made them feel good, happy. He was naïve, thinking that they were all his friends.” Nightmare took in a shaky breath, his hand turning over so he could hold your tiny hand between his thumb and index phalange. “The townsfolk didn’t like me. I was—am—the embodiment of bad, evil. Negativity. And they made sure I knew that too. They would isolate me, exclude me when they invited Dream. I didn’t mind at first. I found my solace in books. I read anything I could get my hands on, and Dream would find me new books to read.” A faint smile graced his face. His eyelight had gotten fuzzier as you listened. You disagreed with him saying that he was evil. You’ve seen evil first hand, and that wasn’t the Nightmare you knew. Maybe it was him once upon a time, but not to you.
“Things started to…get bad when a famine hit the village. It had grown at this point. Dream was helping to try to keep their hopes up. I also tried to help, but they blamed me for the famine. They said that I had caused it by being around. Dream stood up for me. He tried to keep their eyes off me. It worked for a little bit, but not for long. Dream tried to defend me as much as he could. But he was just a child trying to protect another child.” You could see tears starting to well up in Nightmare’s bad socket, he didn’t seem to notice it though as he continued.
“The townsfolk started to get violent towards me. They would lead Dream away to play. And then they would throw rocks at me from a distance. They would find my books and destroy them. Townsfolk would begin to get more and more bold. But they would never leave a mark. So when I told Dream, and he confronted them, they could say I was lying. They hated me. They placed everything bad that happened on me because I’m Nightmare. Even though I was a child just like Dream.
“It got to a point that I had no place to go for safety. Nowhere to find peace. Dream had been tricked into believing them and I grew resentful. I gave up trying to tell him what was happening. I grew tired of him still giving the benefit of the doubt to the people who abused me. It reached a boiling point. My hate grew as monsters and humans alike hurt me. I tried to tell Dream one last time. One last time as his brother, begging for him to help me. And he turned his back on me. He left.” Nightmare sneered, his free hand gripped the blankets. You could hear the soft pops of his claw tipped phalange piercing his blanket.
“The villagers had actually taken to hurting me truly this time. Physically, mentally, everything. Every word they said is still seared into my mind, even now.” The tar that covered Nightmare’s bones almost thickened, you could feel it on his phalange where he held your hand. Even see how it thickened over his covered socket. “I had enough.” The tone shifted in a way that sent a cold feeling down your spine.
“On the tree we protected, there was fruit. Apples. Fruit with the embodiment of positivity and negativity. Gold and black. We protected them from anyone eating them, as doing so would cause imbalance. I was so tired and so angry. I took one of the apples of negativity and ate it to do anything to keep myself safe. It killed the child I once was. I was surrounded, and I killed all of them.” Nightmare’s voice wavered slightly. “Dream had tried to stop me. Tried to reason with me. But my act was final. All but one apple withered away, that golden apple was saved by Dream. But he was too late. I cut our mother down and attacked him. I won, and he was turned to stone.” Nightmare wasn’t looking at you anymore, and you were grateful. Tears were welling up in your eyes again, your throat tight. You couldn’t imagine being in a world where everyone hated you just for existing. A child no less.
A silence fell over the room, heavy. Full of grief that Nightmare felt and your grief for what he had to go through to get to this point in his life. You squeezed his phalange to reassure him you were still there, still listening to him. You gave your eyes a rough wipe with the sleeve of your shirt, taking in a deep breath. You didn’t know how to comfort him through this other than just being there in the moment for him.
“You do not want to know the rest of what I’ve done, mouse.” Nightmare spoke softly after collecting himself. “Just know that I am not a good person. Five…almost six years of rehabilitation is not nearly enough time for hundreds of years of pain. Countless universes and lives.”
“Y-You’re right. I don’t need all of the details.” You felt a little ill at the fact that Nightmare has been around for so long, and what he’s done in that time. But…you couldn’t help but feel he’s changed. Something in his soul is different now. You’ve felt the change since he let you go to work with him. When he finally let you in. “It’s not you anymore…right?” You stared into his socket, meeting his eyelight when he finally looked back up at you.
“It will always be me who caused that pain.” Nightmare murmured. He looked so tired, it made you wonder how much sleep he’s gotten in the past few days.
“But is it you right now? Do you want to go out and hurt people?” You stood up on his knee, now resting your teeny tiny hand on his. “Proactively, now that I’m safe.”
“...No. I don’t. I want to go to sleep.”
“I’m not excusing your past, or anything. I honestly might try to block it out of my mind like I do a lot of this crazy Universe stuff. But you’re my family. You and everyone has gone through so much to get me back home. Where I want to stay, by the way.” You had a lot to think about, certainly. But you were feeling tired as well. You felt like you needed a nice recharge from sleeping with your skeleton. “So I’m going to go to bed and enjoy being home.”
“You are an odd bitty, (Y/n).” Nightmare sighed, a slight smile tugging at the edges of his teeth. “Thank you for listening. It has…been a very long time since I ever really told anyone that.”
“Thank you for telling me, Night.” You patted his hand gently. “I…all I’m good for is taking your magic and cleaning it up. I think we need to find you like…a universal therapist or something.” You gave him a crooked smile. “If there’s something like that anywhere.”
“I’m sure we can look into that tomorrow.” Nightmare hummed. He offered you his hand, which you stepped onto without hesitation. His hand wasn’t as shaky as before, but you could still feel the slight tremble as he brought you up to his shoulder. You hopped onto him, holding on as he shifted to lay down carefully. Every action he did with you was always so careful, you were precious to him. He killed horrible humans and monsters to get you back home. All you could think of was how happy you were to be home, how much he trusted you to tell you his past.
“I love you, Nightmare.” You mumbled as you curled onto his pillow next to his skull.
“...I love you too, (Y/n).” His reply was soft, gentle. You felt deep in your soul that he truly meant it.