Chapter Text
Jolene Milford's POV
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I awake the moment I hear footsteps approaching my room, but I don't move until I hear Kev's voice by my head and feel one of his large hands gently shake me.
"Joli, babe? We've got to head on out."
"Do you have to? Tell Bischoff to fuck off and just stay here with me." I grumble as I carefully sit up, my eyes adjusting to my dimly-lit room. The sun is just now starting to rise, and it's barely peeking through my curtains, but the light in the hallway helps make it easier to see Scott and Kev.
"As much as we'd love to, you know we can't do that." Scott gives a small little smile.
"Yeah, yeah. Come here, guys." I yawn and open up my arms. Scott and Kev both lean in, wrapping their arms around me in a warm embrace. Fuckin' hell, I miss them already. "Call me when you get to the hotel tonight."
"We will." Scott assures as he and Kev stand back. "We've got a lot of shit to do this weekend, but we'll be sure to check in every chance we get."
"Good. Be safe on the road. You'll be driving, what, six hours today?"
"Something like that. Probably closer to seven, actually." Kev shrugs before leaning forward and ruffling my hair. "Don't push yourself too much, all right?"
"I'll try not to." I smile, even though my heart aches. "I'll see you guys later."
"Later, babe." Come on, Kev. Stay.
"See ya, Joli." Scott, no, don't walk away...
I sigh as I watch Scott and Kev exit my room and turn the light in the hall off. I know they don't want to go, but they have to. As much as I would love for them to just stay here with me throughout the remainder of my recovery, I know that's completely impossible. I wouldn't want them to put work as a secondary priority, anyway; that wouldn't be fair.
I'd love to go back to sleep right now, because I am still very tired, but I don't know if I can fall asleep right now. I know Scott and Kev didn't want to keep me up when they left, and that they just wanted to say good-bye, but I'm up now, and my mind is racing.
These past few days with Scott and Kev have been the best ones I've had since I was injured. I've felt so great, both physically and mentally. There's just something about the two of them that makes me so very happy.
Then again, shouldn't that be the case with friendships that have spanned over several years?
I truly do not believe I would be in such a good place in my life, had I not met either Scott or Kevin and nearly lost them for a few years. My relationships with them have been able to get me through everything, and they've brought many changes in me that have been for the better.
They've really helped me grow as a person and that's something I'll always be grateful for.
I remember how strange I was, back when I first signed with WCW. I have never been shy, but for the first couple of weeks, I clung to Dallas and Kimberly. Being in the wrestling world was something I had always wanted, but actually being there was a complete change from the simple life I had known before. Even though Scott and I met my first day backstage, we didn't become good friends until I'd been there nearly a month.
For so long, I wanted to befriend Scott. We just... We couldn't really open up to each other. Hell, he wanted it, too, but we always ended up fucking as opposed to talking.
God, the first night that Scott and I actually had a real conversation was so nice. It was something simple, just a little talk about the business, but I loved it. That was the real turning point in my relationship with Scott, where it turned from just a fuck with a co-worker to our friends-with-benefits deal.
Then, a couple of months after I joined the company, Kev came into the mix. He and Scott knew each other, but I'd never met Kev before. I feel as though if it weren't for Scott, Kev and I would have started our relationship off in a very similar manner to how mine and Scott's started; I mean, yes, Kev and I fucked a lot when we first met, but because of Scott, I always felt like I could talk to Kev.
The three of us grew so fucking close so quickly. We were only a trio for about three months, but that didn't matter. When we weren't working with Dallas and Levy in The Diamond Mine, Scott, Kev, and I were getting into all kinds of mischief. Most of our time was spent together for the first part of 1992.
God, I was crushed when Scott left. I tried to hide it, I did, but I know I didn't do a good job at it. The first few weeks without him were so odd, but it was nice, watching him fuck the WWF up as Razor Ramon. I can't help but smile when I think of the night Kev and I watched the first Razor Ramon vignette. We were so goddamn proud.
Speaking of Kev, he and I have spent a lot of time together, haven't we? It was just the two of us for nearly a year before Kev left for the WWF, too. Kev really helped me wise up to the business during that time, but he also helped me find myself in it. Not just that, but I wouldn't be anywhere near as outgoing as I actually am, were it not for Kev. He helped me become more comfortable with myself and my character.
Kev's departure from WCW, fuck, I don't want to think about that. I had grown so close to Kev, creating such a strong bond that we still have to this day. I'll never forget that little day in a diner, when he broke the news to me that he was going to work as Shawn's bodyguard. I was devastated, but at the same time, I had seen it coming. Kev had been a little distant for a couple of weeks beforehand, but it was still a hard pill to swallow. I remember at some point that night, I realized that big changes were coming. Things wouldn't be the same for me.
Both of my boys had left for greener pastures.
I act as though these past few weeks have horrible, because I haven't been able to see them that much, but honestly, I shouldn't complain. I talked to them frequently during their days with McMahon, but seeing them in person was so rare.
Then again, if Scott and Kev hadn't left, it's possible I wouldn't have grown as close to Dallas and Kim. I feel as though I had become so unintentionally dependent on both Scott and Kevin, but Dallas and Kim whipped me into shape.
Dallas gives me hell, but he's one of the kindest souls I've ever come across. I owe a lot to him and Kimberly both. Dally is the big brother I always wanted but never had, and Kim? She's just the fuckin' best. No matter what stupid shit I've done over the years, they've always had my back and been there when I needed them.
I wonder, if I had known them at an earlier part of my life, how different would things for be for me? Dallas has kept an eye on me since we met, making sure that I don't get into too much trouble. Would I have fallen into the hell that was my relationship with Thomas, if someone, anyone had just stepped in and opened my eyes?
Honestly, it's hard to say either way. Teenage Jolene was such a stubborn little bitch, I probably wouldn't have listened to anything bad about Thomas; then again, who knows? Fuck, there's so much shit I hate thinking about.
I wish that Thomas hadn't fucked me up, and that I felt like I could move on in my life. I say that he hasn't affected me, but the more I think about it, the worse I feel. I haven't been in any sort of romantic relationship since our divorce, instead choosing to fill that void with sex.
As nice as it would be to have a boyfriend, I don't know if I'm ready for that. I want someone. I want more than just an occasional fuck. I would love to have someone who would love me unconditionally and not use every opportunity to treat me like shit. A healthy, loving relationship would be great.
But I can't have one. I'd mess it up. Even if the ideal man were to sweep me off my feet, I'd find some way to ruin it.
I sigh as I sit up in my bed, my eyes momentarily flickering over to the nearest window. The sun is high in the sky now; how long have I been up? How far have Kev and Scott traveled? I'm sure it hasn't been too far. I doubt I've been up for that long.
I wonder, what would they say to me if they knew my lame ass was still awake, racking my brain with shit like this? They'd probably make some sort of joke and find a way to settle me down. Scott and Kev are such great guys. I wish they were here.
It's funny, how both Scott and Kev make my fuckin' heart race. I, uh, I care about them both a lot, don't I?
I've been trying to deny it for years, probably, but it has become clear to me in the past few weeks that I'm pathetically in love with both Scott Hall and Kevin Nash. There are not two people in the world that mean more to me than they do, but for the life of me, I don't who I love more.
I shouldn't even try to figure it out, because neither of them would want a real relationship with me. I'm happy with what we have. I don't have to date either of them to love them. We have a friendship that is unbreakable and I'm not going to jeopardize that.
Really, things are ideal right now. I have two irreplaceable friends that think the world of me and enjoy fucking me. This is the perfect little relationship, so why do I crave something more? Why is this so damn hard to figure out?
I guess it's because I'm scared. I try to act like I'm some tough little bitch who can take on the world without a fear in the world, but I'm not. I'm weak.
Scott and Kev... They're nothing like Thomas. I know that they would never hurt me, but I'd end up ruining things with them.
I'm afraid of a relationship. I'm afraid of losing them.
As I reach for my crutches, a small laugh comes from my lips. It's too damn early for me to be thinking like this. After I get out of bed, I go to my bathroom and then head out on my porch. Along the way, I grab my cigarettes and my lighter from the kitchen counter and slide them into the pockets on the shorts I'm wearing. It's still early, probably only around 8 in the morning.
It'll only be a few more weeks until I'm able to return to work, and honestly, I can't wait for that day to come. I spend too much time thinking when I'm here by myself, and I try to figure the little bits of life out that escape my realm of comprehension.
Regardless of how things happen to play out in the future, I know that nothing will change the bond between Kev, Scott and I. Like Scott has said, the blood between us all runs fuckin' deep.