Chapter Text
Scott Hall's POV
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My mind is fuckin' swirling as I sit on the edge of my bed, with my head in one hand and a beer in the other. The stress of all the shit in the company is really starting to tear me down, and I'm just so sick of it all.
I've got to try and talk to Eric. I don't want to, but I need to. Maybe, just fuckin' maybe if I let him know how much this shit is fuckin' killing me, he'll listen.
I mean, I doubt he will, but it's worth a shot, right?
I chug half of my beer before crawling up to the top of my bed and grabbing my house phone. I dial Eric's number, and after a few rings, he picks up.
"Hello?" He greets cheerfully.
"Hey." I say half-heartedly. "Eric, man, we've got to talk. I can't keep this shit up. It's killing me and I-"
"Hold on, let me get comfortable." Eric cuts me off. "We'll be on the phone for a while, I'm sure."
I sit here, just drinking my beer, until Eric gives me the signal to continue. I feel like he's already stalling and it's driving me mad. Why can't he just fuckin' cooperate with me for once?
"I'm just really not happy with the way things are going for me in the company right now, man. I mean, don't get me wrong, the money is amazing and there's no where else that I would rather work. It's just..." I shake my head as it starts to pound. "I feel like everything I'm doing is wrong and it's like I don't have any control over anything."
Honestly, I just want to turn my life over to the bottle, like I have in the past. I just want to say 'fuck it' and fall back into my old habits that have gotten me through everything so far, though really, I don't know if that's a good idea. I don't want to get suspended like Kid; I mean, who knows when he'll be back?
"I'm really not sure what you mean, Scott." Of course you don't. "You've had plenty of control so far. If there's something that you would like to change, please, just let me know. I'll definitely do anything that I can to help you out!"
I feel like he's just saying whatever he can to try and please me. I'm starting to feel like calling Eric was a bad idea. Fuck.
"We have to drop this angle between me and Joli. I know you're going to try and talk me out of this, and I know you're going to want me to shut up and stop bitching, but you've got to listen to me for just this once, okay? I have a lot of shit I need to say." I don't know how much he'll actually listen to me, but I have to get this out there.
"Say whatever you need to say, Scott." He's acting like he's such a fucking good guy. "I'm listening."
Here goes nothing, I guess. I take a deep breath before I start rambling off my feelings to my shitty 'boss.'
"Ever since Joli and I started this shitty kayfabe relationship, I feel like there's been some sort of fuckin' wedge driven between me and Joli and Kev. It's like I'm a constant source of frustration and aggravation to them, and I know I'm doing them more harm than good. Everything that was once okay in our friendship seems to have just gotten thrown out the window the moment you had me first kiss Joli on camera. It's stupid. I feel like each and every day, I die a little more inside."
I pause for a moment to gather my thoughts, so Eric pipes in, "I didn't know you felt this way, Scott."
"You didn't- Man, how could you not? I've not been myself. It's like I'm constantly fuckin' fighting with myself, and that leads to me fighting with Kev and Joli. Do you know how much it kills me to look at her sometimes? To see the disappointment in her eyes?" I mockingly laugh. "I've hurt Joli more than I can fuckin' believe, and it's all because you want to get your ratings up. I'm so tired of causing pain, Eric."
My heart aches so fuckin' badly. All of the apologies in the world can't take away my worries right now; that's something only my dangerous hobbies can do. I chug the remainder of my beer as I wait for Eric to come up with some sort of excuse for his actions. He never cares enough to really help.
"And why do you feel as though the angle has caused you so many problems in your personal life, Scott?" Eric finally asks. I feel my hand curl up into a fist as I listen to him, because he knows the damn answer. "Is it because of the way Kevin and Jolene have handled it? Or is because it's just an angle?"
Why does he get so much enjoyment out of torturing people? I don't understand it. With Eric, it's as if no one can really be happy for too long, because he's got to ruin all of their fun. He's such a little shit.
"Really, I don't know why you're hounding me on this." I tell him bluntly. "Why can't you just take my word on it? Why do you have to question it?"
"I can't help you if I don't fully understand the problem." I want to throw my phone at the wall. "Talk to me, my friend."
"First of all, I don't see how we're friends. You pay me and I do your fuckin' dirty work. That's all our relationship is, Eric, and that's all it'll ever be. I have no interest in knowing anything about your personal life, even though you're fascinated by mind." I can't help the cross tone in my voice. Realistically, yelling at the one that signs your checks like this isn't a good idea, but I don't know if I care at this point.
"Okay. I understand that." Eric tells me softly. "Just continue with what you were saying."
"I don't know what I was saying." I admit. "I guess the point I'm trying to get across is that I'm just done with all of this. If we can't change things in the company, I..."
"You'll what? Leave?" Eric's condescending tone fades as quickly as it appears. "If it's more money that you would like, I can get that for you. You're still under contract anyway, so leaving isn't really an option."
I groan and lower my head while one of my hands grabs a wad of my hair. Why is he so dense? Or is he just dumb?
"It's not about the damn money!" I finally snap. "It's about me not feeling like absolute shit all the fuckin' time! I shouldn't be feeling the way that I do, but it's all because you make my job a living hell. I don't even want to see my best friends anymore, because I know I've become a burden to them at your request. I can't keep doing your damn bidding."
I feel like I could cry, but nothing's coming out. This stress has become so much and I'm reaching my boiling point. Why doesn't Eric see that? Why doesn't he give a damn? I shouldn't have even called this asswipe in the first place. I knew this would be a bad idea.
"I guess this is why Jolene chose Kevin." Eric's quip is so quick, but I catch it. Oh God, I fucking catch it. He's right. "You and Sean really do have a lot in common, don't you?"
My mouth drops and I want to fuckin' tell him off, but I'm speechless. I am a mess, and I know that. Really, I don't need him to tell me that. Joli didn't want to be with me because I'm unstable and I'm just a ticking time bomb. Kid's not too well off either, but I'd say he's in better shape than me. I mean, yeah, he's suspended right now, but that's not because of him. I'm the one that took him back down that dangerous road.
"Scott?" Eric snaps me back to reality. "Are you there?"
"You're right." I mutter as I close my eyes. "You're right about all of that. Kev's a lot more put together than I'll ever be. I don't deserve someone like her."
"It won't be long until you and Jolene break up on television!" Eric's cheerful tone returns, as if nothing had even happened. My eyes quickly open back up, and I just find myself staring at my wall in absolute shock. He just wanted to break me, didn't he? That's all he fuckin' wanted. "I just thought that you would like to know that. We've made the executive decision that Jolene will be joining the wolfpac while you remain in the nWo Hollywood."
It's as if a huge fuckin' weight is lifted off of my shoulders, but at the same time, I feel somewhat let down? Even though the whole angle has been a pain in the ass, when we were on camera, it seemed as though everything was okay. Fuck. My emotions are all out of whack.
"Are you sure that will be the end of it?" I ask for clarification. "No more of this stupid bullshit that we've been dealing with for the past few months?"
"Well, I can only guarantee that the romance angle will come to an end." Eric chuckles. "Whether or not the bullshit behind-the-scenes stops is up to you, Kevin, and Jolene. I don't have any control over the way that the three of you interact."
Brother, you've got more control over that than you let on. You know that. I mean, you managed to single-handedly fuck our friendship up and you're acting as if nothing happened.
Or, maybe that all just goes back to me? Maybe it's all my fault?
"I think I'm done talking for now. Thanks for... for whatever." I tell Eric while shaking my swirling head. "I'll see you later."
"All right! I'll see you first thing on Monday, my beloved employee." I just know he's grinning. "Enjoy the rest of your evening."
"Yeah, okay." I mumble. Like hell I will.
"Oh, and Scott?" Eric stops me as I go to end the call.
"What?"
"Don't do anything that would get yourself suspended." I just hang up and don't reply. Oh, fuck this.
Fuck Eric.
Fuck me.
I hold tightly onto my phone for just a moment before flinging it at the wall to my right. The phone shatters and I just drop my head. I don't want to be awake. I don't want to think. I don't want to hurt. The angle is finally coming to end, but at what cost? And who knows when it'll actually finish? Will it be soon, or several months down the road?
After spending a few moments sulking on my bed, I haul my ass up and head to my kitchen. I hear my other house phones ringing, but I fuckin' ignore them. I don't want to talk to anyone, especially not Eric, if that's who it is.
As I reach into my cabinet and pull out a big bottle of Jack, I hear my voicemail machine picking up in the living room. I grab a cup from my dishwasher as I listen to the machine.
"Scott?" Oh, it's Joli. "Scott, if you're home, please, pick up."
I just stare blankly into the living room.
"Brother, call us." Hi, Kev. "Eric said you sounded down, and we wanted to check on you."
"I hate his ass, and I normally wouldn't pay anything he said any attention, but..." Joli trails off. "Just call us, okay?"
They hang up and I fill my cup to the rim with some Jack. I raise my cup towards the living room as a sort of toast to Joli and Kev before I start chugging my drink.
Oh, this is the good shit. The good, strong shit.
Maybe by the time I wake up from whatever booze-induced sleep I end up in, this whole thing will be over? Maybe then, everything will be okay.