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Chapter Text

It could have been a very pleasant time, it really could. But your father wide smile as he pushed the shack door, it trembled dangerously and thumped on the ground, “welcome home!”, he cheered brightly. With a heavy sigh, your hands clutched your robes as you judged the tall man expression, “home?” you repeated just to make sure he wasn’t bluffing.

“Yes! Home!” with a movement of his wand your trunks lifted and floated inside the run-down shack. Whether you like it or not, this was home. With careful footsteps you followed him inside as you made sure not to step on the broken glasses or the shards of wood.

You weren’t excited to go to Hogwarts but after witnessing the state of your new home you wanted to leave it as soon as possible, even if it meant walking to Hogwarts as the transfer student.

A thick dust layer coated everything in your viewpoint, the shack was small, dusty, and wild plants infiltrated the inside. Grass between the cracks of the wooden floor or between the cobbled walls, it was everywhere.

Zane, your father had worked very hard to make ends meet. According to him you had lived in your grandmother’s home and studied in Uagadou, he had informed you that you were very unhappy and so he brought you here. You believed everything he had said about you, frankly, you couldn’t remember anything prior to the moment you opened your eyes and you found yourself sitting next to him on a ship taking you to London.

Not one memory was in your head, and when you think of your grandma you can’t match a name to a face or a title to a name. Like your father liked to say, your head was an empty slate now. Because unfortunately, when you study in Hogwarts you have to prepare for O.W.L.s.

Conflicted about your surroundings you sat on the now clean bed, and sat there trying to understand everything happening to you.

Your name is (Y/N), you are fifteen years old and you used to live with your grandmother until few days ago. Your father is named Zane and he works as an Auror. He didn’t say anything about your mother just like when you asked about why you left your grandmother’s home. Like he said, “ignorance is a bless”. So you left it at that.

That night, after an awkward dinner with your dad whom you truly felt was a stranger. A stranger who made you feel safe. You laid in your bed staring at the ceiling, feeling strange and out of place. Just like a foreign puzzle in a full picture. Hoping to find one answer to your questions, or to feel more comfortable in your own skin. You wanted a meaning to this name you were called by.

Maybe you were asking for the stars, but you never got an answer to your wish. Not all wishes are granted after all.

The following morning, you watched your father run straight into a wall as he claimed it was the only way to the train that will take your train. You were cautious, but you trusted him anyway and you were met with a bright scarlet train. The other side of the wall was buzzing with energy and high feelings, even you felt very happy seeing all the smiley faces and cheerful students.

“Let’s find you a place” he said and you followed him blindly as your eyes were excitedly tracing all the new faces. He levitated your trunks inside the window, and you clutched on your messenger bag that had a worn-out copy of Alice in wonderland, your wand, and few revision papers that your father insisted on reading.

“Write to me weekly, and make lots of friends also study for your O.W.L tests” he said, with a nod of your head and a short wave you entered the train. Unlike most students that stayed behind conversing with their families. You wanted to stand behind as well an talk with Zane, but it was already awkward enough to both of you.

How can it not be? You were a shell of what was once his beloved daughter.

With a sigh, you sat inside an empty compartment as most students clustered either outside or inside in their designated groups. You opened the first chapter in your Alice in wonderland book, you read it loudly inside your head to gather all your senses and attention in the book: Down the rabbit hole.

Before you could read why Alice felt tired of sitting next to her sister, the compartment door slid open heavily with a loud thud. Jumping as you watched a tall girl with a tight bun on top of her head, she glared at you for a short moment. She wore red lined robes with a badge of a lion, and a small silver badge was on her chest “Hello miss (L/N), I’m the head girl Minerva McGonagall”, she nodded sharply at you with a polite smile.

“I was told about your arrival and I wish to be helpful to you, as a new student you may feel lost but please do approach me if you do have concerns at any time”.

Minerva had a certain charisma around her, you couldn’t pin point if it was her calculated movement or the silver badge in her chest that gave her the authority aura. “When the train arrives you will accompany me to headmaster Dippet office to be sorted in your house, then we will walk to the great hall and you will sit in your designated house table and you will follow the first years to the dorms”, as she finished she discreetly inhaled.

“Do you mind?!”,  a second voice called, a blonde girl behind McGonagall stood with a hand on her hip and raised eyebrow, she wore the same robes Minerva had. The head girl gave her a scowl before giving way to the blonde to stagger inside.

The blonde glared at you shortly before slumping down on the opposite couch, Minerva gave her one last look before staring at you again and saying, “Welcome to Hogwarts, miss (L/N)”, you politely nodded and grinned at her.

Finally, she left and you returned your attention to your book, rereading the previous line; Alice was beginning to get very tired of sitting by her sister-

“Are you the new girl?”, the girl asked.

You looked up at her as you nodded at her, once again looking down at your book. Alice was beginning to get very tired of sitting by her sister-

“So you studied in Uagadou?”.

“Yes”, you responded. Returning your attention to your book. Alice was beginning to get very tired of sitting by her sister-

“I heard most students in Uagadou are animagi, are you one? What’s your animagi?”.

You shut the book in your hands and looked up at the blonde. Her eyes hazel as her long locks were curled beautifully, you shifted your attention to the wall as her hazel eyes sunk deep in your thoughts and made you nervous, “I’m not sure, I lost my memories”.

With your words she bounced closer to you in amazement, “What?! I have never met someone with a lost memory before! That’s so crazy!”, her light eyes scanned you very well, feeling under a lot of pressure you shifted in your seat uncomfortably.

“How does it feel having no memories? I bet everything feels new and weird- Oh my name is Elizabeth Potter what’s your name?”.

Needles to say, you were not able to know why Alice grown tired of sitting by her sister.

The moldy hat over your head felt very hot and uncomfortable, just it touching you for those long moments you wanted to run and scrub your head with soap. “Slytherin, seems fitting to you… but I have to say Hufflepuff is more fitting”.

You wondered if you could be placed in Gryffindor and hopefully you would at least be in a house with someone you knew. Plus from the description of Elizabeth it seemed like a wonderful house.

“No your moods and traits don’t suit a Gryffindor”, it said and you wanted to jump out of your skin. You didn’t have expectations of the hat being able to read your registering thoughts. But your thoughts were cut as the Hat screamed, “Hufflepuff!”.

Headmaster Dippet took off the hat from your head and you lightly scratched your head. “Very well! A nice addition to Hufflepuff”, he said as he sat in his seat. “It’s very good to have you here miss (L/N)”.

“Thank you, sir.” you said.

Then Minerva walked you out and towards the great hall. It was a silent walk and you were thankful that she didn’t start any conversation, you were too drowned in observing the castle that you almost bumped in her.

When you two reached there, she walked you to a table with students wearing yellow and black lined robes. Reaching to the head of the table with two prefects, she pointed at a brunette girl with a friendly smile, “this is Ariadne Meadowes, she is in your dorm and will be your guide around campus”.

You sat next to Ariadne that forced your hand in a violent shake, “Hi! I’m Ariadne, it’s very good havin’ you here! Uagadou seems like a very pleasant school please do tell me about it when you have the time! Oh- Oh! This is Sally, she is in our dorm too! Isn’t it great to have only three people in one room instead of being packed like sardines-“.

A short man jogged inside the great hall with the sorting hat over a stool, Ariadne stifled a chuckle at him and you had to give her that. The way he ran was humorous. But you couldn’t find it in your heart to laugh, not because it was not funny or because it felt rude. You simply felt too mentally exhausted at everything happening so quickly. From the way he ran to the way all the students were hissing and pointing at you.

Everything was overwhelming. The great hall enchanted ceiling to look like a sparkling night sky and to the different faces, you could spot Elizabeth eyeing you with slight disappointment. You felt very out of place, like an empty body with no thoughts or feelings and your heart beat resonated to every part of your body, your hands trembling.

You weren’t scared, just very overwhelmed with all your surroundings. You couldn’t breathe very well, but you still forced a smile when Ariadne turned to face you and pointed at the funny looking first years.

With everything happening so quickly, you rested your heavy head on the table and attempted to stabilize your breathing. It worked a bit. Your body faintly began to respond to your actions. Your hands still shaking and your heart beating sharply but it wasn’t as bad.

Soon the sorting ceremony ended, and the same man holding the stool with the sorting hat over it jogged out. Ariadne giggled at him again, slapping your arm as she pointed at him. The plates in front of you bloomed with food. You were reminded of how hungry you were but you felt too nauseous to eat or even move. So you sat in your seat rocking your body back and forth.

“Does your stomach hurt you?” Ariadne asked with a mouthful.

You gave her a short nod, she said, “Hey, maybe you should go to the loo”.

It was a good idea you wanted to be alone for a second and stabilize your mood swings, “I want to take you, but I really have to finish eating quickly because I have to leave dinner early since I have prefect duties”.

“It’s alright”, you said.

She gave an empathetic smile, “Alright, the closest loo is on the second floor right above the great hall, it’s only one flight of stairs so you will get there quickly”.

Standing up and strolling out of the great hall was an exhausting task. All eyes were on you, and the judgements behind those looks were as clear as day. It made you nervous and overthink about falling in front of everyone and being the laughing stock instead of the man that brought the sorting hat earlier.

Luckily, and with your careful eyes glued to the floor you exited the great hall in one peace and without any embarrassment. You eyed the stairs on your left, you took them. Feeling your heart detach when you sensed the stairs move and change from it’s previous direction. Still, you were glad that it gave you the shortest direction to the loo.

It was simple to spot the restroom. It was in a long corridor with only one door. You opened the door, the hall curved, and your vision was switched from darkness to blinding bright lights. Your tummy grumbling as if it felt that you were in a safe setting.

You wanted to throw up, you wanted to empty your nauseous stomach from all it’s contents-

A tall boy back faced you and you wanted to scream, but the sign outside said ladies rest room. But as he shifted a bit further you could see a large scaly tail slithering inside a hole in the middle of the grouped sinks.

Ignorance is a bliss.

Your father’s words resonated in your head, you were going to move your legs and redirect yourself to a different loo, puke, wash your moth very well form bile then lastly ask for help to reach to the Hufflepuff dorms, and finally you were going to sleep and pretend you didn’t just witness a giant scaly tail; which meant it’s a beast’s tail.

You wanted to do all of that, you really did.

But just like how you wished for your memories to return the previous night, your wishes weren’t granted. And your legs couldn’t obey you just like how you attempted to stop the shaking in your body in the great hall.

Nothing was going your way, your legs planted on the bathroom tiles. Time is relative and by the time you registered everything happening the tall boy turned around and faced you.

Your eyes in his captivating dark ones, your system was crashing, and you could think one thing before you lost your conscious and your body dropping.

“Oh my god”.

Empty head spinning in large circles, eyes very heavy and your body feeling very sore. You were in pain and this current feeling is something you don’t want to remember ever. With a deep sigh you slowly opened your eyes to the comfortable warm toned light emitting from the floating candles.

You were in a sturdy white metal bed, surrounded with many similar beds with barriers in between them. Your bed side table had few revision papers. It was nighttime, and the large clock was ticking loudly whilst loud clicking heels were heard walking around.

The clicking noise became closer until the nurse reached to stand right by your bed, “You’re awake! Very well”, she walked over to you holding a small potion vial, she handed it to you and responded to your silent question, “for your headache”.

Gladly, you downed the bitter potion and the water she handed you. After few seconds, the spinning in your head stopped as well as your heart that’s been drumming in your head. You felt much better.

“Poor girl, you were found right by the library with revision papers in your hand. Your studies are important but don’t exhaust your body”.

She handed you the revision papers, you glanced at them. This was not your hand writing.

Which reminded you; the last thing you remember before the drumming headache was that you were in a restroom with a tall boy and a scaly large tail. You recall seeing captivating dark eyes and very handsome sharp features before you dropped to the ground.

So why was the nurse saying you were found by the library with those revision papers with very different hand writing from yours?

The thought of everything made the last fading effects of your headache threaten to come back, so you dropped the papers and rested your head back on the pillow. “How long have I been sleeping?”.

“Five days”.

You shot up from your bed quickly as your head drummed again with a cruel headache, “Five days?!”, you repeated in shock. The nurse nodded sadly as she said, “you must have exhausted your body”.

Five days is simply a classes week. By now you could’ve settled and probably made few friends. Fate truly was using everything in it’s might to make you hate yourself. With difficulty you stood up from the bed, clutching the revision papers.

“Please don’t tell me you’re going back to the dorms, look at yourself!”.

You exhaled tiredly and whispered, “I have to”.

She shook her head in disbelief, watching you struggle to take steady steps outside the hospital wing. The more you used your legs was the more you slowly regained your power, it wasn’t as much as you wanted but it felt better to have some power rather than none.

You hated feeling weak, but again, who liked feeling that way? Weak, lost, and breathless you were lost in the complicated castle of Hogwarts. Because it was so late at night, you couldn’t even ask for help.

Too exhausted to look any further you rested your back on the cobble stoned wall, head throbbing with pain and your previous nausea returned. You hated this and hated everything in this moment. You wished to be anywhere or anyone rather than in this weak body of yours or this uncomfortable and painful moment.

“What are you doing here?”.

Tilting your head to the side, it was the same boy from before -or five days ago-. He scowled at you, probably to make sure you open your mouth and to threaten you not to tell anyone. You felt disgusting and you were in pain. You wanted to end everything with this boy quickly. He screamed trouble, whilst you wanted to live your next two years in Hogwarts in peace.

“Look, I didn’t see anything and I don’t care. Leave me alone I’m too sick to even talk to you”, you said slowly, bringing your hands that held the papers in your hands, “I was found in the library with those papers in my hand, leave me alone now”.

He pursed his lips, tightened his gaze at you with judging looks, he took out his wand and said, “Not good enough”, he swished his wand and said harshly, “Obliviate”.

Ignorance is a bliss, ignorance is a bliss, ignorance is a bliss-

Strangely even with him doing his spell, you could still remember everything vividly. But his judgmental looks told you he wasn’t going to stop until he erased your memories. Too exhausted to deal with him. You groaned dramatically and shut your eyes before you opened them again and asked in a low dramatic tone, “Where am I?”.

He grinned pridefully and you almost cracked your act with a snort, you added with the same manner, “I think I was heading somewhere… excuse me but can you show me to- uh-“.

“Hufflepuff dorms?”.

“Yes, Yes”.

Thankfully, he showed you to the whole way and you tried your best to keep your act. But his ego was making it hard to make it possible. The way he walked with a straight back and his hands clutching his wand behind his back. He would turn and give you a critical look each time he wished. You allowed him. It was humorous seeing him like that, it was funnier than seeing the caretaker jog with the sorting hat.  

He took you to a cluster of barrels and said, “this is the Hufflepuff dorm, wait here and a prefect will come here soon”.

His words were true, after waiting for almost ten minutes by the barrels a Hufflepuff prefect helped you come inside, and helped you find your designated room. Ariadne and Sally were sleeping in their beds, and you assumed the empty one was yours, especially with your messenger bag resting on it.

You quickly got ready, slipped in your sleeping gown and sat on your bed with light emitting from your wand. As you finally found out what happened to Alice. Your eyes growing slightly heavy as you read the first lines in your book.

Alice was beginning to get very tired of sitting by her sister on the bank, and of having nothing to do: once or twice she had peeped into the book her sister was reading, but it had no pictures or conversations in it, “and what is the use of a book,” thought Alice, “without pictures or conversation?”.

Chapter Text

After few days of trying to get accustomed to Hogwarts, you were finally able to match names to faces and vice versa. The tall boy you saw on your first day was named Tom Riddle, he was an outstanding student, sorted into Slytherin -and according to Elizabeth some people in it were the worst-.

You couldn’t find the chance to tell her that you were almost sorted into Slytherin.

Tom Riddle could be seen conversing with many teachers, he had charisma and the poise everyone liked. He is definitely the most attractive person in the school, he had his fair share of admirers, you wondered what would his admirers say if they knew he wasn’t what he seemed to be?

Probably won’t say anything as he also radiated dangerous vibes if messed with.

No matter how much you tried to shake your head about thoughts of this strange boy, you couldn’t. He was fairly easy to spot in the hoards of students, he carried himself in pride. However, you didn’t want to associate yourself with him or any of his business, he was a dangerous person anyway.

Taking your mind off the second chapter in your book, seeing the words couldn’t stick to your head at all, they were meaningless words that you couldn’t understand give any meaning to. “Can’t understand it?”, Malcolm asked with a gentle tone.

Malcolm McGonagall was the younger brother of Minerva; they were very different yet fairly similar in the faintest ways. You shared three classes with him and in those three classes all teachers had asked him to tutor you. Whilst you gave up already about your O.W.Ls, they seemed very attached about at least making you pass this year.

You gave him a nod and he frowned empathetically, but you couldn’t help and feel as if you were wasting his time. He was a fifth year as well, he had his own studies and O.W.Ls to worry about, while your head bounced around in thoughts of Alice in wonderland.

Even if you couldn’t remember how you were before you lost your memories, you knew you hated studying. And now thinking like a dead weight to this poor boy felt even more devastating.

“Hey, why don’t we try and fly around with our brooms?”, he suggested.

The thought of flying and feeling cold air in your hair and face felt so refreshing, unlike remaining in this stuffy library that brought you misery. “Sure”, you said and followed him out of the library.

The good thing about not attending the first week in school was that all the students seemed to forget who you were, or they had other things to worry about rather than worry about your existence. It was already overwhelming in your first day, so you were happy to skip the whole first week and find everyone worrying about their studies.

When you opened your eyes the following day you saw Ariadne and Sally gawking at you before jumping away when they saw you staring back at them with the same amount of shock. They had told you they were worried about you, Ariadne even berated herself for letting you get lost all by yourself.

Few days passed, and it dawned on you that you’re a lost hope in the upcoming important tests that will forever determine your future. You have become closer to Elizabeth, you shared 3 classes with her. And with Ariadne as you shared dorms with her.

Your mind returned to reality with the door creaking and you stepping out of it as you eyed the Quidditch pitch. It truly was magnificent and you couldn’t wait to attend your first match. “Oh! Seems like Potter is practicing!”, Malcolm said and pointed at the zooming broom around the sky.

“Potter!”, Malcolm shouted, making you flinch violently and wish he would have given you a heads up before tearing your eardrums. The blonde in the sky chuckles could be heard echoing through the pitch as she zoomed a bit closer to your viewpoint, she waved excitedly and made few grand acrobatic moves to woo you.

It brought joy to your heart, even if you were just watching it was enticing. You had to admit, flying on a broomstick, or watching someone else fly was enticing. Finally, Elizabeth floated closer to the ground and bounced off her broomstick, “ ‘ey you two! Wha’ are you doing ‘ere?”, she said excitedly not noticing her thick London accent showing.

Malcolm glanced at you with a knowing look. Elizabeth accent was slightly funny.

“We are ‘ere to fly too!”, he attempted to imitate her accent, earning a thwack on his head from Elizabeth. “You two playing hooky?”, she asked. Whatever she meant, you two were definitely doing it. You didn’t want to sit in the library and study for insane hours.

“Possibly? If it means not wanting to do what we’re supposed to be doing”, you said.

Elizabeth flashed you a sincere smile as she handed you her broomstick, her very expensive looking broomstick. “Alright then let’s see what you can do”.

Malcolm tried to interject “I don’t think that’s a good-“

“Let the girl do it herself, Mr McGonagall”.

Dumbledore already explained to him and Ariadne that you had lost your memory alongside all your basic magical knowledge. You only knew basic spells like: Lumos, Leviosa, and aguamenti. He had every right to be concerned about you falling right on your butt, few hundred feet over the ground.

Slowly taking the broom from Elizabeth as you considered your next step. You looked back at the two, not knowing what to do. Malcolm took the broom from you, made a short demonstration of what to do as he floated over the ground for a bit before jumping down and giving it back to you.

With newfound courage and bravery, you copied exactly what he did. To find your self floating over the ground in an instant, thrill invaded your system and suddenly all your next actions came to you naturally, as if it’s something you had done and executed thousands of times before.

Elizabeth clapped at you and cheered as you zoomed around, whilst poor Malcolm was staring at you with a shocked expression. You were excited and happy and felt all the good feelings as you flew inside and around the hoops. “Some people really are born with it!”, Elizabeth said excitedly as you jumped around and copied her previous acrobatic moves.

Cold air slapped your face and legs, goosebumps formed in your skull, arms and legs and you weren’t sure if it was because of the chill of this day or it was your excitement. But possibly a mix of those two feelings. You were happy, the happiest you have been since you lost your memory.

It felt so natural to be flying around and zooming in a lightening bolt speed, as if you have done this thing many times. You wanted to remain up in the air but you didn’t want to be selfish so after fifteen minutes you landed back on the ground and bounced back on your feet as you handed the broomstick to Elizabeth. The blonde held her broomstick under her armpit as she loudly clapped at your performance, Malcolm joining her.

And you fought the urge to flinch and shiver at the loud sounds. But luckily you were still induced with thrill that you bowed down to them dramatically. “Thank you, Thank you” you said.

“(Y/N)! this was amazing! You did so well! I think you should try in the Quidditch tryouts on Saturday!”, Elizabeth said.

As much as the offer seemed thrilling, the thought of playing Quidditch didn’t excite you as the thought of simply flying so you shook your head and said, “I just like flying”.

Malcolm gave you an considerate nod, “That’s understandable”.

Elizabeth wrapped her arm around your shoulder as she said, “Now! What do you want to do?”. You shrugged your shoulders, “I don’t know but I want to do something thrilling, anything”, she tightened her hold around your head and said cheerfully, “then I know just the thing to do!”.

She eyed Malcolm, “Don’t follow us”, she said.

The boy simply sighed and shook his head, “Fine, I’m going back to study”. As you and Elizabeth walked further he called you, “Don’t forget that we have a quiz on Tuesday!”.

It was nice being around Elizabeth, although she could be described as reckless you thought she was extremely brave and fun to be around. She was very different than anyone else you knew. She lived her age and acted her age, a fun fifteen-year-old that worried about the fun things rather than studying and the future.

In those moments around her it made you forget about your responsibilities. Sometimes you thought that forgetting everything was a curse and sometimes it felt like a blessing. But for sure, around Elizabeth it felt like a blessing.

Although in this moment you weren’t sure, it felt like a bad idea.

To recap you and Elizabeth were down at the Ravenclaw tower and throwing invisible dungbombs at students. Or some students that she thought deserve it, “Don’t worry those people are arrogant gits and they deserve it- wait here is Olive Hornby”.

She said and tossed an invisible dungbomb at a blonde girl, the girl whined and ran across the other way whilst Elizabeth tried her best to stifle her giggles. Whether they were bullies or not, it felt nice making others suffer and laughing about it with Elizabeth. But when she gasped as she stood up and took your hand in her own and running as fast as she could, dragging you behind her, loud and uncontrollable giggles escaped your lips.

“I saw that! ten points off Gryffindor and Hufflepuff!”.

Reaching the other side of the castle, specifically the Gryffindor tower with ragged breath and giggles cutting your breathing. She slapped your shoulder harshly as she said, “This was so fun! We have to do it again!”.

If you were to describe Elizabeth, you would say she was fun. She was the kind of girl that radiated confidence and made you feel confident about yourself. Everyone you knew liked Elizabeth, she knows everyone and anyone. You trusted her judgement about many things, she was that kind of girl you either wanted to be around or wanted to be.

As she said the password to the Gryffindor portrait carelessly, not caring if you heard it or not she dragged you inside. The second she entered the common room she waved at everyone happily. The common room was cozy and had many armchairs and sofas around.

Almost all of them were occupied by people you shared classes with, as they waved at Elizabeth they said hi to you too which made you feel happy. Being friends with someone popular was nice. “Let’s go to my dorm, I bet it’s empty”.

She was right, her dorm room had five beds unlike yours that had only three. Her bed was easy to spot as she had Quidditch posters on the poles of the bed, her bed was a mess, “I have to take a quick shower, I reek!”, she said dramatically, earning a giggle from you.

You sat on her bed, it had crumbs of food and an unfinished letter with an unscrewed ink on her bed. She must have been writing letters for her family, which reminded you that you have never bothered to write a letter for your father. You arrived to Hogwarts a week and a half ago.

It’s not like you had the time anyways. Although you promised yourself you were going to write him a letter very soon. As your thoughts lingered about writing a letter you felt curious about what Elizabeth wrote in her letter, so you peeked over and read.

Dear mum and dad,

The first week of school was pretty boring, I practiced a lot but as you two know I didn’t bother to open a book. I mean I do pay attention in class but I just don’t revise after, Minerva says if I don’t study she will eliminate me from the team and so I can’t help but want to fight with her.

But I’m not going to because I’m a good girl! -I promise I won’t do anything please don’t send me a howler-.

I met a new friend, her name is (Y/N) (L/N) she’s a transfer from Uagadou but the sad thing is that she lost her memory. She spent the first week in the infirmary so I didn’t talk with her much but from our short conversations she seems like a good girl. I was wondering if I could ask her to visit this winter break.

Also-

Then her letter stopped, you felt strange about seeing someone write about you to adults and highly speak of you. But it made your thoughts about Elizabeth be clearer, that this girl wasn’t just any friend. She will be a friend for life, and you were grateful about that.

As you associated her with all your good new memories. You promised that you will mention her in your letter to your father.

“I think I smell better now”, Elizabeth said while exiting the bathroom.

She approached you while drying her hair, “I have been thinking about your broomstick skills and I remembered that I read somewhere that sometimes when you forget some things your body remembers them”.

You hummed in curiosity, “I forgot what it’s called but it means that your body remembers those actions even if your memory was wiped clean”.

“That’s interesting”.

“Are you kidding me? It’s so freaking cool! It means we just have to try everything and then maybe you will slowly regain your memory”.

You were suddenly reminded of how Riddle wasn’t able to obliviate you, so you meekly told Elizabeth, “Is there an explanation of why obliviating spells don’t work on me?”.

The girl raised an eyebrow, “How so?”.

“Well, someone tried to obliviate me but it didn’t work”.

She shrugged her shoulder and turned to face the tall mirror as she brushed her now dry hair, “Maybe they failed to do so?”.

You shook your head adamantly, there was no way Riddle couldn’t execute a simple spell, he was perfect at everything. So you told her confidently, “Why don’t you try it on me and we will see?”.

“Well, if you insist”.

She took her wand from her nightstand, stood up bravely in front of you, “ready?” she asked and with a sharp nod from you she swished her wand and said harshly, “Obliviate!”.

You shut your eyes tightly, opened them slowly as you felt some fuzzing around your head but as you opened them and found a curious Elizabeth, you shook your head, she bounced closer to you and inspected you, “It didn’t work! Bloody hell that’s brilliant!”.

She took you from your hands and exited her dorm room, rushed down the stairs and showed you to the Gryffindor common room, “Everyone! Try and obliviate her!”, she shouted.

This should have brought concern onto your system but you were too invested about knowing why the spell doesn’t work on you. “Why? What did she see?”, a bright ginger headed boy asked. It was Oscar Weasley.

“She didn’t see anything but the obliviating spell doesn’t work on her”.

With that everyone around you took out their wands and began chanting the spell, large fuzzing circled your head, it wasn’t painful, but it made you feel strange. Light blue rays emitted from your head, and you wondered if any of the spells worked.

But as you wondered it proved to you that it didn’t work, Elizabeth gestured for them to stop, and everyone eyed you expectantly. “It didn’t work”, you said as a loud ‘Wow’ echoed through the room and everyone was theorizing a justification.

Elizabeth rejected them all and only listened to one student sitting by the armchair closest to the fireplace, she wore thin lined glasses, Augusta Crouch. “Because there is an already a powerful working obliviating spell in her head, that’s why she can’t be obliviated again”.

“Why are you even listening to her she is failing charms” Oscar Weasley said earning laughs from everyone, making Augusta face turn red with embarrassment and anger. Elizabeth shook her head and turned to face you, “I think it’s true, you can’t remember anything from before”.

After Elizabeth told you her observation about your body being able to remember some things because it used to do it all the time, it made you notice many things about yourself.

First and foremost was that you had insane knowledge about plants, especially deadly plants.

Second, you were an expert when it came to defense against dark arts. Well, it took you a while to remember it, but it came to you when you flipped through basic books you regained memory of many spells and executed them perfectly from the very first time.

Third, you knew a scary amount of attacking spells. Which brought fear into your heart, what if your previous self wasn’t who you thought?

As well as, loud voices and yelling in anger -no matter the levels- made fear shiver in your spine. You hated it and it always turned you docile and silent.

Also, you had quite the temper and you noticed your mouth running a lot and putting you in awkward situation.

But of course, just because you regained your physical memory you didn’t regain the type of memory that was supposed to help you in your studies. Yes, you are not afraid about failing defense against dark arts and herbology. But you sure fear failing the rest of your classes.

Potion classes were something out of this world, it made you feel a type of disgust. Especially when you realized how Professor Slughorn had obsession over his smart students, it made sense to put those on a different level, but his class felt as if it was just a ticket for the smart kids to do whatever they wanted to do, and for the stupid students -such as yourself- to fail even more.

He would simply explain the uses of any potion at the beginning of the class and make you spend the whole period demonstrating it. If you execute it perfectly you earn house points if you don’t you lose them. And just in his class alone you lost a lot.

You loathed Potion classes with Slytherin. And you were confident in saying you didn’t have any sort of discrimination against them, you had a Slytherin friend, and you genuinely liked her. But you simply loathed the fact that they seemed to just glide through Potions class while you struggled. You knew it was jealousy, which didn’t make you feel any better.

Every time after Potions class your self esteem reaches the floor and you would hate yourself. So you didn’t bother to start working on anything in class, you spent it talking with Eileen Prince -your Slytherin friend- although while she was busy as she was extremely good at Potions, you would spend those 45 minutes gazing at Riddle.

He sure was an interesting individual.

You have never spoken to him after that night, but you found yourself very interested in him. How could you not? He was very handsome and good at anything and everything, he spent his days either studying or opening the chamber of secrets, you read that in Hogwarts: A history.

It was simple connecting the dots that the scaly large tail belonged to a Basilisk placed in there by a very petty Salazar Slytherin. And Tom Riddle was opening what the founder of his house hid.

Riddle truly was a riddle, he may have given dangerous vibes but you couldn’t help but spend all those 45 minutes staring at him. You didn’t care if he noticed your looks or not, as you didn’t feel anything besides genuine curiosity and interest towards him.

You simply wished to know more about him. That was it. You weren’t desperate about it, but you wouldn’t close your ears if anyone decided to speak about him or reveal anything about him.

“Brilliant, Tom! That is perfect!”, professor Slughorn said loudly, and patted the tall boy shoulders proudly. Riddle gave him a polite grin that you knew would drop the second Slughorn looks away. And it sure did when Slughorn approached your station, not for you of course but to make sure his other favorite student, Eileen, made a great job too.

“Very good! Eileen!”, he cheered happily. He turned to face you and said, “Miss (L/N), if you don’t fix your grades in the next quiz you will be helping serve guests in the Slug club Christmas party”.

Another reason you disliked this man and his class with all your heart. You gave him a polite nod and turned to face Eileen that told you, “It’s alright, you can be my date and you won’t serve in the party”.

“Thanks”, you said sincerely.

Eileen was the sole reason on why you tolerated this class. She was very different than Elizabeth. Eileen wasn’t crazy or had fun ideas or made you eager about breaking the rules. But Eileen made you feel better about yourself and turned your self esteem into a good level. Talking with her was fun, and she always knew what to say to make you feel better.

Eileen was the sole reason on why you tolerated this class, that and looking at Riddle’s handsome features.

“I’m upset that he doesn’t teach in his class, he doesn’t demonstrate anything”, you said a bit too loudly for your liking, earning understanding hums from all the stupid students, and Eileen.

“Exactly, I just wish we had a professor that actually helped us”, a Slytherin boy said.

“Maybe if you all actually studied this wouldn’t be hard to you”.

Riddle said harshly, Slughorn straightened his shoulders with pride as he flashed with joy because Riddle defended him. Riddle words filled you with rage and you couldn’t control your mouth, so you said, “You suck up to him so bad that you’re not a teacher’s pet anymore you’re an ass sucker”.

You heard a collective gasp and giggles being stifled. But words were said, and the effect was done, and you already readied yourself for the worst. Your house is losing a weeks’ worth of points and you’re getting a weeks’ worth of detention. Slughorn face reddened as he screamed your punishment, which was exactly what you had expected.

It was good that while he screamed those words the clock produced a sharp ringing to signify that the class ended, because it would have been a whole lot awkward if you stayed any longer.

“(Y/N)! I cannot believe you just said that! Wow you’re so cool!”.

“I knew you were cool but I didn’t know you were this cool!”.

“Please next time insult them both again, okay?”.

“Can we please hang out? You’re the funniest person I know!”.

And variations of those words were said to you as everyone rushed out to lunch, except Eileen that shook her head to you and berated you for being a bad student. All of it happened while you walked towards Slughorn office and took your detention paper from him.

4 weeks of detention, that is simply a whole month.

“I’m very disappointed in you, this is not a way to speak to anyone”, Slughorn said with a glare, which very much reminded you of an angry looking turtle. Trying your best not to laugh, you looked down to hide your face.

Slughorn mistaken you stifling your laughs for a regretful expression as he instantly said, “Lucky for you, I thought that Tom should be the one to watch you in detention, I would ask him to tutor you every now and then too”.

You wished for the ground to split open and swallow you instantly. It was going to be the worst decision ever. Putting a dangerous Tom with you, whom after what you said would dislike you a lot.

It’s not like you blame him, you did say something disrespectful and if you were in the receiving end, you would hate it and hate who said it to you too.

You left the classroom as you saw Eileen and Elizabeth both chat, Eileen spotted you first and gave you another dissatisfied look unlike Elizabeth that bounced and hugged you, “You said what to Riddle?!”.

“I told him he is an ass sucker”.

“Bloody hell! You are one brave girl!”.

You shook your detention paper in front of her eyes, she skimmed it then added, “and one unlucky girl”.

The three of you walked towards the great hall, you listened to Elizabeth speak about her day and her classes. The three of you sat at the Hufflepuff table, three of you next to each other as Elizabeth felt excluded sitting across from you.

“Hi (Y/N)!”.

“Here comes our hero! (Y/N)”.

You heard the Hufflepuff table raise with pride; they were just proud that the house that used to be called the weakest weren’t afraid to strike back at Slytherin’s most prideful possession, Riddle.

“When does your first detention start?”, Elizabeth asked between a mouthful, earning a disgusted frown from Eileen. “Today, in the potions classroom”.

“Whatever happens, just ignore it and don’t get extra detention” Eileen told you sharply.

Eileen knew better than you, and so you affirmed her that you will listen to her advice. So after a long day of classes, it was time for detention under Riddle’s eyes. You stood in front of the Potions classroom for very long moments as you attempted to steady your nerves.

You weren’t scared of Riddle, if he did try and step out of the line you could just expose him about opening the chamber of secrets, and from what you could tell Dumbledore seemed to dislike him a lot, so he would believe you.

A minute passed and when you felt confident about facing Riddle, you walked inside the classroom.

He was sitting at the Professor’s desk, a dark arts book in his hands without lifting his head he said, “You are late”.

“No shit sherlock”, was what you wanted to say immediately but you let it simmer inside you and sat at your usual seat and took out your Alice in wonderland book. You were going to ignore him and pretend he wasn’t there.

He wasn’t there, he wasn’t there, he wasn’t there-

“Who told you that you could read a fictional book in detention? A muggle fictional book”, he said and walked to you, snatching the worn-out book from between your hands.

He wasn’t there, he wasn’t there, he wasn’t there-

“You must be a filthy mudblood, reading filth like that in a sacred place”, he said.

You mentally apologized to Eileen as you said sarcastically, “sacred place? I bet you sit by your bed and pray that Slytherin would make you a better ass sucker”.

“Filthy mudblood-“.

“If you don’t shut your stupid mouth I will smack you with my bag-“.

“I would like to see you try coward foolish and irrelevant mudblood.”.

His words made anger rush your veins, he knew exactly what to say to irritate you, so you granted his wish and took your heavy messenger bag that had: advanced herbology, advanced potion making, transfiguration, charms book and few papers. Those were all very heavy books.

Without thinking too much you raised your bag under a shocked Tom, and thwacked his handsome face with your bag so hard that your books slipped out of your bag and your papers flew through the air.

Time seemed to slow down, your papers floating around Riddle’s head and your very shocked professor who had witnessed you just whack his favorite student with your heavy bag.

Chapter Text

Your heavy books thumped on the floor as your papers landed on the floor seconds after, Tom face was priceless while Slughorn jaw dropped and wheezed in shock. Your heart palpitating, eyes going between Tom and Slughorn.

The older man said, “I am-“cutting his own words to let a exhale in disbelief, “Sir he called me mudblood”, you instantly said pointing at Tom.

“This is not true; I only confiscated this muggle book from her and she got angry”.

“Did not you big fat liar!”, you said as your index finger pointed at Tom’s chest, Slughorn gasped even more, “No lady speaks like that!”.

“Well, I sure do when someone tries to manipulate the situation” you hissed and gave Riddle a side eyed glare, only for him to act innocent in front of the old poor man that played favorites. “I may have offended you by forcefully taking the book and for that I apolog-“.

“No need to apologize, Riddle! It’s very clear who is the one at fault here”, Slughorn said, shaking his head in dissatisfaction at your behavior, you grew impatient and one thought in your head the feeling of being wrongfully accused was the worst.

Yes, you may have over-reacted by hitting Riddle with your messenger bag, though you don’t regret what you did; he deserved it and if you could turn back the time you would have done it again but this time without stalling.

“Miss (L/N), don’t you think that Tom deserves an apology?”.

Even the way he had called you by your last named whilst calling Riddle with his first name, he sure did take his favorite student game very seriously. “Sir I did- “.

“No no Tom, I have got this”.

Professor Horace Slughorn was the worst, a bad teacher, and a terrible human being at the same level too. Just like how you sometimes could not control your mouth, you couldn’t control your facial expression. The way you frowned at Riddle made his victorious smirk widen.

“Well? Go on then”, Slughorn urged.

With that you faked a tight-lipped smile, tightening your eyes too, “I am sorry”. You said then crouched down to pick up your belongings. You slipped everything into your messenger bag before snatching your fictional book from Riddle’s hands.

He looked down at you with triumph shinning in his eyes. This boy could be immature if he wished, which brought more rage in your heart.

You sat down on your previous seat, this time taking out your Potions book and hope these two hours with Riddle to pass quickly. Slughorn turned around to exit the classroom but stopped in his tracks, “You know… Tom I trust you well enough to monitor detentions with her”.

Turning to face you he added, “And (L/N), I trust you to do whatever Tom asks you to do”.

This had to be your worst nightmare.

“Miss (L/N) go and clean the owlery” Riddle said.

“No way” you said, shaking your head in denial. “Refuse any thing I order you to do and Slughorn will be hearing that you had called me a stupid orphan”.

“I never called you that!”.

“He doesn’t know that he believes everything I say”.

With a gasp he flicked your forehead and said, “Go on now, or do you want me to wr-“.

“I hate you so much”, you said angrily, your seat scraping across the floor as you took your bag. “I will check if you cleaned it later!”, he warned as the dungeon door closed shut. Rolling your eyes as you glared at the door with a side eye as if it was Riddle.

You walked away, your legs feeling heavier as one destination in your head; the owlery.

A sharp scream echoed through the Hufflepuff common room, lifting your eyes as you watched Pomona Sprout attempt to calm down Sally, your roommate. So naturally you approached them, so did the rest of the students in the common room.

“Ariadne! She got petrified!”.

You repeated the words in your head, and the only obvious answer for petrification had to be the beast that Salazar Slytherin hid in the castle, Tom Riddle new pet. He must have unleashed the Basilisk to start hunting.

And from the way he had called you a slur it wasn’t difficult to pinpoint his hatred. He unleashed that monster to hunt on Muggle-borns. You weren’t very close to Ariadne or the muggle-borns in general, and it’s not like they wanted to be close to you either. They had whispered slurs as you walked past them.

Ariadne and Sally were a bit different, they wouldn’t call you a slur, but they would definitely make you feel strange about yourself, and so you three managed to keep a shallow relationship.

In the middle of the commotion you heard light tapping in the window, you turned to face it and spotted Eileen’s black owl, her name was Ursula. You approached the window, opened it to accept the letter in her peak, she remained as you opened the envelope; expecting a reply as it was a short note.

Dear (Y/N),

Elizabeth and I had noticed that you have been stressed about school, so care to join us in an impromptu pyjama party?

CIRCLE ON ANSWER.

YES           YES       no

Your only friends,

Elizabeth & Eileen.

You rushed to your room, Ursula following you as well, you scribbled on the yes answers and gave the note without an envelope to Ursula, she flew out of your open window, and you instantly fixed your hair and took all the snacks you had gotten previously from Hogsmeade; they weren’t much but they were all what you had.

With that you took your cardigan to try and avoid the chilling October chills inside the castle. You began your journey to the great hall, and decided you would wait for them there. It was a little after dinner time, so curfew didn’t start yet and if it did it was alright.

You just needed a break with your friends, that’s all what you wanted.

As you reached the great hall, you saw Elizabeth and Eileen sitting at the Slytherin table while playing wizards chess, as Elizabeth spotted you she excitedly waved and you returned the wave and the warm smile while Elizabeth swiped the chess board off the table; making all the pieces clatter and get disorganized.

“You’re just a sore loser!”, Eileen hissed.

You sat next to Elizabeth and accepted her half hug, “You were losing?” you asked her as Eileen angrily returned her chess pieces to its box. “Nah” Elizabeth said with a shrug, taking your bag from your side and began munching on the candy you brought.

A licorice wand in her mouth as she spoke, “How about we play truth or dare instead?”, you nodded and turned to face Eileen, “We will play tomorrow lets get back to our dorms”, the raven headed girl said loudly, her eyes glancing at the caretaker behind you three.

Elizabeth giggled, Eileen took you two by your hands and took off to the Ravenclaw tower direction, “How come we rarely see you lately?” Eileen asked you, giving her an exasperated sigh, you answered “Ass sucker has authority over me, he can make me do what he wishes and its all because of Slughorn”.

“I hate that man with my whole heart”, Elizabeth said, Eileen hummed in agreement.

“He treats me well but it’s easy to tell that he treats students with bad grades terribly”.

Elizabeth complained, “I’m in the slug club only because my brother is a scientist, it’s not because I’m brilliant or anything!”, Eileen climbed the stairs just beside the Ravenclaw tower, you and Elizabeth followed her.

“That’s rubbish, you are brilliant at Quidditch and in a year or two you will get asked to join the national team”, you dismissed her.

Elizabeth glared at Eileen’s Slytherin badge on her chess board, “If only the Slytherins don’t injure me permanently at the next matches”.

“Yes Goyle and Malfoy do play dirty tricks”, Eileen affirmed. Finally the three of you reached the Astronomy tower, she pushed the door open and you were welcomed with gentle breeze from the open gazebo.

You walked over to the railing and watched the clouds violently move around to cover the full moon and the shiny stars, it was a scene out of this world, it made your heart quicken and you couldn’t fight off your smile; not like you wanted to anyways.

Turning to face your two friends, Elizabeth was laying a checkered blanket right by two poles, while Eileen was taking out the miscellaneous games she had and put them over the blanket to steady it over the floor. Lastly Elizabeth took out covers she had in her satchel, and the candies she had and placed them right by the ones you had gotten.

It was a peaceful scene, and you felt your heart palpitate and the relaxing scene. You had two amazing friends, two great friends that cared about you and made you feel all the good feelings. Two friends that when you befriended, they made you feel like you belong quicker than you could develop depression.

The cherry on top of the setting was Eileen lighting candles around, they shined gently in a warm color. “Come on (Y/N)”, Elizabeth called you closer. Light piano tunes came from Eileen’s chanted radio, as you three sat down and watched the sky, covered in blankets, it was a perfect and a comforting scene that you knew it would lead to heartfelt conversations.

“Thank you both”, you said with a voice shaking dangerously.

Elizabeth rested her head on your shoulder, “It’s not much”, Eileen said.

“It makes me happy”, you told her, she showed you a cheery smile.

An angry breeze came and blew off the fire Eileen put on the candles, she sighed heavily and said, “when I was so comfortable too!”. But before she could move you stopped her and took out your wand and lit up the candles with a whisper, “incendio”.

She grinned warmly at you and covered herself better with the blanket. With that, you rested your back at the poles allowing Elizabeth to rest her head on your shoulder better.

“Let’s say some things about ourselves”, Elizabeth suddenly said. “I will begin!” she cheered after quickly, “I hate oatmeal”.

“Nobody likes oatmeal”, you said. “Hey! I like it!”, Eileen said.

“Okay (Y/N) it’s your turn”, Elizabeth said.

“I smacked Tom Riddle with my bag at our first detention”, you confessed.

Elizabeth and Eileen gasped silently before breaking in a fit of laughter, you smiled and watched them break apart with their laughter. It felt good to make others laugh, especially this hard. “This is even worst that liking oatmeal!”, Elizabeth said.

After Eileen managed to calm herself down, still smiling widely as her laughter broke her words, “I hexed Druella Black in her wedding”.

“Merlin!”, you and Elizabeth said, “She made fun of me, she looked like this when I-“, and proceeded to imitate Druella Black. You and Elizabeth joined the raven headed girl in heavy laughing. It was so heavy that you wondered if there was some sort of drugs in the candies you were eating.

After a while of genuine laughing, Elizabeth suggested playing truth or dare. It was a very fun game, and you knew many truths about your friends you never imagined to know. Eileen’s first kiss was with her extended cousin -which you and Elizabeth gagged about-.

You learned that Elizabeth was so bad at flying the broomstick that she only learned how to barely fly a year later than everyone else. Then it turned into dares, and the dares were fun as well. Until Elizabeth dared you to take the invisibility cloak from her and steal something from Dumbledore’s office.

“No one would be there!”, she had told you, “It’s eleven at night he ought to be sleeping”, she added.

You trusted her and now you were stuck in Dumbledore’s office, under the stuffy cloak as you watched him correct papers. Why did you even agree to do such thing? To steal something from a professor’s office.

Lately you have found yourself acting out and braver. At first, you thought it was an effect done by hanging out too much with Elizabeth, who always followed the feelings of thrill and loved acting out very much.

Though, with your behavior you must admit Gryffindor would be suitable to you more than Hufflepuff. In just in a month and few weeks since you had started studying in Hogwarts, you got the title of: Hufflepuff troublemaker.

You truthfully don’t see yourself as a troublemaker, you may have found yourself in eventful situations that sometimes lead you to run your mouth or run your actions, and both were very bad options as you always said things that added fire to the situation or done things that brought you detention or your house losing points.

Hufflepuff was not a saint house, it had troublemakers and comedians too. Many of the students you had chatted with or had spoken to you were not saints. Of course, they were virtuous and rightful, but you never cared for a moral compass.

Your moral compass was a spinning wheel and it only seemed to be biased to whatever your friends thought right. Luckily, you befriended good people who had good morals.

The door knocked, Dumbledore had lifted his head and watched the door open and… Zane?

Yes it was Zane, your father walking inside and sitting by Dumbledore’s desk, “You wanted to see me?”.

“I would appreciate a greeting”, Dumbledore said, looking down at Zane and up his half-moon spectacles as if he was silently scolding him.

Zane tsked then said, “Albus, we both know when we meet up it’s never good”.

Dumbledore clasped his palms together on top of his desk, he remained silent for very long moments before he said, “I called you to speak to you about the current issue in Hogwarts, fifteen students were found petrified”.

Zane continued to stare at the old man, a silent way to prompt him to continue speaking.

“And I think (Y/N) was the one who did it”.

The second he finished those words, Zane looked away with a scoff. “You think she did it? What makes you say that?”.

“I don’t think we both see her the same way, Zane”.

“Yes because the way I see her is a fifteen year old little girl who had endured all the pain her orphanage got to her, to endure all the bad things she did as a child”, Zane said and you had to cover your mouth to hide your gasp. Zane truthfully was not your biological father, no wonder you didn’t feel any sort of connection towards him.

“I know that but-“.

“The first spell she learned was Avada Kedavra! She was forcefully made into a killing machine! It didn’t happen willingly! You should have seen her when she asked me to erase her memories!” Zane said very loudly, a tone away from screaming, his eyes watery and shinning with empathetic tears.

You had no idea how to feel, this session was covering to you so much about yourself that it physically made you ill. Your father whom you thought was your only family was not actually your family, your first spell was a killing curse, and you were made to be a killing machine.

“Her memory are erased and there is a barrier in her head to make her never remember her past no matter what she does, she would never be able to do any of what you think”.

The silence in Dumbledore’s office was loud as you watched them both exchange strange looks, until Dumbledore said, “I knew you would say that, what I’m worried about is something else”.

“What is it?”.

“There is another student in her year, very cunning one. Tom Riddle, I am afraid that those two may have united… if they both united I believe-“, Dumbledore stopped talking as Zane’s fist slammed his desk, the old man modified his last words, “If the old (Y/N) and Tom united, humanity would end”.

“I assure you, (Y/N) has nothing to do with it, after she handed us her previous boss, she became determined to change forever and so I placed the barrier in her memories”.

Dumbledore rested his back on his chair, stared into the space and said lowly, “Then who could be the cause for all the commotion?”.

Zane stood up and said, “Don’t ask when you already know the answer, you suspect that it’s Tom Riddle, how are you going to investigate it?”.

Dumbledore returned his attention to the papers in front of him, “We will check on his wand and see the last spells he had used, I hope you don’t mind we check (Y/n)’s wand too”.

Zane turned to face Dumbledore and said, “Do what you want but you will see she is not guilty”. The older man affirmed, allowing Zane to continue speaking “What are you going to do now?”.

“Close the school, we are already having a hard time because of the petrified students” he fixed his posture and gazed at Zane with a peculiar look.

“There won’t be any Hogwarts”, he added.

Zane gave him a short nod before exiting, you followed him quickly to leave Dumbledore’s office. You took off to the opposite direction he was headed to whilst your insides hit around, as if a big storm was within you. Lost and conflicted about all the new information thrusted into you, your head span in large circles and your tummy churned angrily.

When you thought you were healing from your depression about not remembering, it felt as if you had been pushed back million steps back and salt was being rubbed in your wound.

You felt cold, lonely and hollow. You felt hollow and filled with rage at the same time. Everything you once knew felt like a big lie. You had been raised to be a killing machine. Your breathing became shallow, so you took off the invisibility cloak off and sucked in sharp breathes.

Breathed in then breathed out, your heart smashed at your rip cage in piercing anxiety, making your head throb too. You had killed people with those two hands, glancing down at the palms of your hands.

Your stomach stirred so you entered the first lavatory before your eyes, seeing Riddle’s back again and not feeling like you want to deal with him you slipped the indivisibility cloak over your head and walked inside the first stall then shut it.

Before you could even start your meltdown, you heard a girl shriek, “What are you doing in the girls’ loo?!” your eyes widened, and you knew if she directly sees the Basilisk whom you could hear was hissing a bit further; as if it was still climbing it’s way up.

Something in you screamed at you to save her, even if your moral compass was spinning violently. You decided you would save her and deflate everything Dumbledore thought about you. With that you opened the stall door and exited it quickly, seeing her only a few feet away from you as Riddle was staring at her with shock.

You took her by her wrist and slipped her inside your stall just before the Basilisk could fully catch you two. You locked the stall as she screeched loudly, making you slap her on her face as you hissed, “Shut the hell up!”.

She gasped at the invisible slap but held her cheek with teary eyes and a frown. Finally, you took off the cloak. As she saw you, she screamed, “Ew! A nigger!”, not being able to contain your actions you slapped her other cheek and sneered, “say that again, and see what happens”.

With a weak sniff she watched you silently.

“Tom! Listen! Keep it inside! Keep the basilisk inside or you will regret it! I assure you”.

“How do you know it’s me?”.

“I saw you here on the first day, I am immune to oblivion spells”

You could hear the boy scoff and his feet tap as the basilisk slithered closer to the restroom stall, “I was just at Dumbledore’s office and he already suspects you of the fifteen petrified students!”.

“I don’t believe you”.

Wishing that you open the door and speak with him face to face so he could see that you’re being honest, “I promise you! I was just there and if you don’t believe me petrify this girl or even kill her, I don’t care, and see what happens after”.

Myrtle grasped into your arm and pleaded, “please don’t kill me I’m sorry for calling you a nigger just please don’t kill me!”.

Rolling your eyes you urged Tom, “She even called me the slur again, Tom take her as a sacrificial lamb and see what happens after, see who they are going to suspect!”.

To make it seem real you unlocked the stall only, making Myrtle melt-down become worse. She sat on the ground clawing at your feet and begging you to spare her life. You wished to see the facial expression on Tom, so you know if you are able to convince him that you are not joking.

“But I heard that they are going to close the school forever if they don’t catch who did it, and that is because of fifteen petrified students only so imagine what would happen if a girl gets killed”.

Tom reminisced on your words for long moments, Myrtle remained begging and whining for you to keep her alive, so you kicked her away in disgust, “Never say that word again, idiot”. She nodded her head at you sharply and sat at the corner of the stall in half silence. As it was broken by her sniffing and whimpers.

“What are we going to do about that girl with you?”, he asked.

“Obliviate her of course and make up a story”.

“And you? because even though I obliviated you, you still remember everything”.

“I promise I won’t tell anyone”.

He chuckled sarcastically, “Not good for me”.

Deciding to make a deal you said, “Stop giving me heinous tasks and I won’t tell anyone, how about we perform an unbreakable vow to enforce it”.

Riddle remained quiet for very long moments before agreeing, “Fine.”

Hissing a few words, possibly in parseltongue to the Basilisk. And as you heard it slither away you finally opened the door then walked out. Coming face to face with Riddle, “Where is the girl?”.

“Inside”, you pointed at the stall, crossing your arms over your chest and shifted your weight to your other leg. “Call her out”, he said.

“Get out idiot and don’t you even think about running away with the invisibility cloak” you said.

Pure silene screamed back to you until you heard a squeak coming form the doorway of the lavatory, you and Riddle shared a knowing look as you quickly walked to the doorway as you clawed at the air until you caught something, pulling the cloak off her head as she whimpered and the waterworks started again.

You brought her to Riddle before you said, “Okay do it”.

We will check on his wand and see the last spells he had used. Those words resonated in your head so you shouted, “Stop!”, you said stopping him before he could swish his wand.

He jeered and said impatiently, “I told you I’m not going to kill her!”.

“Not that!”.

“Then what?!”.

“Dumbledore said he will check your wand tomorrow morning to see if you had used any suspicious spells”, you said making Tom stomp his feet, “That stupid old man!”, you two stayed silent then he suddenly said, “Then you try and obliviate her instead”.

“I can’t, he suspects me too so he will check my wand as well”.

Tom cursed under his breath, so you shifted your attention to Myrtle and asked, “where is your wand?”.

“In my dorm”, she said hesitantly.

You glared at her and said, “Are you lying?”.

“No miss I promise I am not”.

Frowning and giving her a thumbs down, “Meh, I don’t believe you”, so you searched her robes and grazed at her pockets but found nothing.

“See?! I told you I don’t have it!”, she screamed at you with a glare.

You and Riddle turned to look down at her. She soon regretted yelling at you.

Tom took his eyes off her then asked you, “So what are we going to do now? We can’t just return her she will tell everyone in fear of us killing her”.

“I won’t!”.

“Shut it!”, you and Tom yelled at her.

We & us. He said them so confidently as if you two don’t fight every waking day. However, it also brought uncertainty to your stomach. You tried so hard not to associate yourself with this boy, but you always seem to get tied to him whether you like it or not.

You accidentally locked eyes with the grouped sinks, and an idea lit up in your head. “I have an idea”, he turned to face you quicker than a lightening bolt, “What?”, he asked.

Gulping nervously, crossing your arms over your chest and you tried to regain power. You were going to do a very hard thing, “We hide her in the chamber of secrets and give her the invisibility cloak to hide in it and tomorrow after they check our wands, we obliviate her and let her go”.

“That’s a very bad idea”, he said, but still went to the grouped sinks and hissed a word as it opened. Pride filled your insides for a reason, and you wished it wasn’t because he listened to you.

You seized Myrtle’s upper arm and dragged her with you, the three of you descended down the slide. You imagined a stoic Riddle sliding down and it made you snort loudly, Tom and Myrtle stared at you strangely, “What?” he said impatiently.

“I just imagined you sliding down the slide with a straight face” you answered making Myrtle giggle too, “Yeah it is funny” she said and the two of you giggled uncontrollably with a very annoyed Tom staring at both of you.

As you two were giggling, Myrtle suddenly screeched and looked down at what you were walking on, “these are human skeletons!”.

You looked down as she continued to screech, she was right those were human bones. Tom and you shared a look then glancing at the screaming girl, you said, “If you don’t shut up I will slap you again”.

She instantly closed her mouth. So, you three continued your journey.

“Why does Dumbledore suspect you?” Riddle asked, you looked away not wanting to expose your whole past to him, “None of your business”.

Myrtle said loudly for you to hear, “You probably have some bad history with him”. You rolled your shoulders and said, “maybe… honestly if I did, he deserves it, I hate that man”.

Tom breathed a brief deep chuckle and said, “Me too”.

“You two are strange, Dumbledore is the best professor!” Myrtle exclaimed.

Riddle and you ignored her words as you three finally reached to a large hall, possibly as big as the great hall. Except it had a large statue on the wall of a bearded man, “Who is that?”.

“The greatest wizard himself, Salazar Slytherin” Riddle stated with a tone of pride. “Oh! The one you pray for to give you extra powers to suck up to Slughorn?”, you said sarcastically, making Myrtle giggle loudly as she pointed at you, “Oh! You were the one that called Riddle an ass sucker?!”.

You winked at her dramatically, “the one and only”, she clapped her hands excitedly and bounced, “Oh wow! I have been dying to meet you! although I never imagined you to be a nigg-“.

She interrupted her own words when she received a harsh scowl from you, she gulped and sucked both of her lips inside her mouth as she glared down at the floor with remorse.

“Okay let’s leave her here, put first cover your eyes so I can talk to the Basilisk”, Tom said.

Before he could call out the monster you slipped the cloak over you and Myrtle. Shutting your eyes as tightly as possible and urged her to close her eyes too. You heard slithering close to you two, making Myrtle shiver with fear but for a cryptic reason you weren’t scared.

You heard continuous hissing coming back and forth from between Riddle and the Basilisk, after long moments it slithered back inside. “You can come out”, he said, and you slipped the cloak off you two and asked Riddle, “What did you say?”.

“I told it not to eat this stupid girl or anyone else for now, and not get out of its hiding place”.

Content with the answer you shook the cloak in front of Myrtle, “If you lose it, I will skin you alive and kill you myself”, you threatened. She nodded her head furiously, “This cloak is more important than your life, if you manage to live and lose this cloak, I will kill you myself and I guarantee you I am not joking”.

She slowly took it from you, already stressed about not losing it.

“We will come for you tomorrow so for now I guess sleep or something”, you added. As you took off your messenger bag, “I think there is some licorice wands or a chocolate frog in it, my Alice in wonderland book is there too”.

“I am scared”, she said.

“It won’t kill you I gave you the cloak just to feel safe”, you assured her.

“But what if I’m thirsty?”, she asked.

“Just hold on I will come check on you in the early morning, right Riddle?” you asked and turned to face Riddle that rolled his eyes simply then gave in with a nod.

“But what if I want to use the loo?” she asked.

“Hold it in then!”, you screamed and turned around angrily, “Let’s go Riddle”.

“Wait! I promise if you let me go to my dorms I won’t tell anyone-“.

“Shut it!”, you and Riddle yelled simultaneously, Myrtle caved in and sat on the ground as she hugged your bag. “What if she follows us out?”, Riddle asked you once he watched her slip on the invisibility cloak.

He was right, she could follow you two out of the chamber and you wouldn’t know anything about it. “Myrtle, take off the cloak now” you ordered, from her own place she slipped it off and you jumped up and sent her a flying kick to the side of her head. Myrtle’s body instantly dropped to the side.

Riddle watched you in surprise with his mouth open, you covered her with the invisibility cloak as you said, “I think this is a good idea because when she wakes up, we may already be here, no?”.

Pointing with your jaw at the place where you and Riddle came from, “Exit?”.

He affirmed your question with a nod before walking to where you pointed, you kept up with his quick pace. “Right, let’s meet up here again before breakfast and check up on her then once again after they check our wands”.

“What are we going to do if they see her missing?” he glanced at you.

“Olive Hornby bullies her so maybe we can blame her and pretend that she made Myrtle go into hiding?” you suggested, “that’s a good idea”.

Silence seemed piercing and you two focused on figuring out a way out of the chamber. “Why were you even at Dumbledore’s office?”.

You breathed out a chuckle and responded, “Elizabeth dared me to steal something from his office”.

“You are one strange girl”.

“Why thank you sir, and you are one strange boy”, you said.

“What else did you hear at Dumbledore’s office? And who was he speaking with?”, he asked.

Tightening your eyes to recall all the topics the two discussed you finally said, “Well… they talked about the petrified students, said if they don’t find who caused it then they will close the school and then that they suspect me, and you so they will investigate our wands. He was speaking with m-“. You stopped speaking. Zane was not your father.

“He was speaking with an Auror”, you said after fixing your words. Tom eyed you strangely, but you avoided his looks. No matter how much he pressures you into telling him about your past, you will not budge.

Tom stopped walking, turned to look at you and extended his arm, “let’s do the unbreakable vow now”.

You tightened your eyes at him. You can’t fully trust him yet, he knows they suspect you too now so he could easily blame everything on you. Plus, with an obliviated Myrtle, no one would be on your side.

“Yes, if you promise not to blame everything on me too”.

His smirk widened as he said, “that’s a bit unfair, don’t you think? You get to do one thing and I get to do two things…”.

“Hey ass sucker, it was you who started giving me those ugly tasks!”.

“If you forgot, it was you who slapped me with that bag, I’m pretty sure I got a concussion” he said as he faked a headache and rubbed on the side of his forehead, just to add another theatrical effect.

Raising your clinched fist, “Keep acting fake and I will give you another real concussion to cry about”.

Rolling his eyes with a scowl, “Fine.”

Both extending your arms, he held your elbows before sliding it down your arm, giving you chills, then finally stopped at your wrist.

“You speak first, I don’t trust you” he said.

“I promise I will not tell anyone about tonight or put the blame on you”.

“I promise I will not tell anyone about tonight or put the blame on you and I will stop the tasks”.

A light blue glow emitted from your clasped wrists, a tingle traveled up your arms and reached to your head then down your heart. Finally, you returned your hand back to yourself and you two exited the chamber. Now at the girls’ restroom.

Trying to get accustomed to your surroundings, “Don’t flatter yourself about tonight, I still hate you” he said.

Turning to look at him you said, “took the words right off my lips, ass sucker”.

He glared at you one last time before you two exited the lavatory, both going at the same direction at first but then going opposite directions when reaching to the first floor. You went to the Hufflepuff dormitory while he went to the Slytherin -you hoped-.

As you entered the dormitory, and stared at the large circular clock at the wall, it was 2 in the morning now and surely Elizabeth and Eileen would have wrapped up their little pyjama party and both gave up on waiting for you.

Entering your room, it felt strange to only see Ariadne’s bed empty but nonetheless you entered the washroom, stared at your reflection for long moments. This is the face of a killing machine, you thought.

Tonight, revealed the past you have been dying to remember, it showed you another layer to yourself, a layer that was violent and strategic when it came to saving yourself in crucial situations.

But also, it showed you another layer to Riddle.

Chapter Text

Your nerves were burning, heart beating chaotically in your head as your breathing rate increased. Your eyes looking around you; searching for any prying lookers. When you found none, you approached the second-floor bathroom, placing a warning sign quickly on the door and finally entering it.

As you entered you had seen Riddle’s back for the third time in this bathroom, only this time he had anticipated your arrival, and once he had seen you, he sneered “You are late!”.

You pointed at the exit and justified “just so you know, one of us had to put a warning sign so no one sees us jumping down the rabbit hole!”, he rolled his eyes and mocked, “Alice in wonderland reference? Right now?”.

He then turned, said few words in parseltongue and as you and him slid down. You had finally decided to respond to his words, “the chamber of secrets awfully reminds me of it, though instead of the red queen it’s the Basilisk”.

You and Tom ignored the skeletons and stepped over them, retracing your previous steps, “If the Basilisk is the red queen, then who is the white queen?” he suddenly said. “You read Alice in wonderland?”.

“Yes, idiot, if I didn’t then how would I know it’s a muggle fiction book?” he said and stopped walking as if to make more impact on his words at how dumb your question was, which made your eyebrows twitch as you stopped walking too, “I don’t know! Just keep walking!”.

You said feeling your ears heat up from embarrassment. He really didn’t have to make you feel dumber. But then again in all honesty you don’t blame him, you would jump at any chance to insult him so he’s just giving you a taste of your own medicine.

“About the white queen, I think it could be Myrtle” you said making the corner of his lips lift and you giggle in silence at your ridiculous joke. “She called me a slur several times, so I don’t have any sympathy for her whatsoever.”

“I hated the white queen, what a buffoon she was”, Tom commented, you took a sharp turn and found a long hall with many sewages exits, “I think I somehow relate to the white queen, we both are dreamers and we are very much absent-minded”.

He scoffed, “no wonder I dislike the white queen”.

You shot him a side ways glare while he became giddy about his insult. Finally, the two of you reached the place you had left Myrtle, which was the same place with Salazar Slytherin statue on the wall, “look! Do a little pray for Salazar so he could make you a better ass suck-“.

“I will kill you.” he interrupted you.

Walking back to the corner, exactly the spot you had left Myrtle in, and you clawed the air to catch the invisible cloak. Once you caught on the invisible fabric you pulled it to you, hearing a muffled shriek, “my hair!”.

Myrtle appeared sitting on the floor, rubbing on a spot in her head as she glared at you. “Sorry, didn’t see you there” you said.

“Your jokes are not funny”, Riddle said.

“It wasn’t even a joke” you murmured, Myrtle whined, “I ate the licorice wands, and they were stale so did you get me anything to eat?”.

“No”, Riddle responded.

“You are a terrible hostage taker” you said and took three wrapped sandwiches from your robe pockets and a flask filled with water, “I have never taken hostages before, but I can tell you have history with it so I suppose it’s good for me”.

Myrtle took the food from you, “Did the Basilisk get out of it’s place?” you asked.

“Once when I yelled”.

“I had to call for help”, she quickly added when she noticed your strange looks, “no, I’m surprised at how you’re in Ravenclaw when you are so stupid” you said.

Then you turned and pointed at Riddle, “don’t you even say anything”.

He smirked but allowed you to have your way, so you and him turned around and before leaving you told Myrtle, “we will be back once they check our wands”.

“When is that?”.

“I don’t know maybe in an hour maybe in ten”, you said with a shrug of your shoulders. Myrtle gasped, “that’s too long! and it’s really cold!”, you took off your robes and covered her shoulders with it, “happy?”.

“I would have fell in love with you if you were a boy”, she said with a hint of blush in her cheeks.

You forced a sigh and turned around, your hands inside your pockets, “let’s just get out of here”, Tom crossed his arms over his chest, glaring at you, so you raised an inquiring eyebrow at him, he pointed at Myrtle with his eyes.

With an understanding ‘Aha!’ you jumped and kicked her on the other side of her head, she dropped to the ground instantly, and you covered her with the invisibility cloak. With that, you returned your hands inside the pockets of your short cardigan.

“We have to find someone to blame for the petrified students”, he suddenly said.

“We? My love that is a you problem” you responded then ended your words with a chuckle, shaking your head in disbelief at his words. The thought that Riddle truly thought you were going to help him find someone to blame all this mess on.

“Hogwarts will shut down” he said seriously.

You stopped walking, turned to face him, and said, “you should have thought about that before letting a giant snake out to students.”

His face turned stoic, not liking your answer which made you consider if he had ever thought about this well or his prejudice was too big that he just wanted to kill muggle-borns for no reason.

Riddle hooked his arms behind his back, raised his jaw and straightened his shoulders, “I know, I was testing you to see if you would be a loyal addition to my…club”.

“I don’t care about your afterschool club just don’t bother me anymore, after getting this girl out of the chamber I wish to never ever see you again”.

Your words would have more of the wanted effect if you didn’t have to see him later again. Fate was never on your side, and you wanted to live anyone’s life because your own life was sickening.

As you two left the chamber, appeared on the girls’ bathroom, you instantly exited it and walked straight to your dorm. You reeked of sewage plus seeing Elizabeth or Eileen at breakfast meant that she would ask you to return her cloak, the one that is currently being used to hide a hostage from a carnivore snake.

One month and more in Hogwarts and that is what you do.

Elizabeth Potter used to be someone overlooked, ignored and uninteresting. At least in her opinion as no one cared to ask her about her feelings or about her life. On her first day in Hogwarts, she was bombarded with questions about her brother from every single person she had seen.

Elizabeth had always labeled herself as someone lonely, she might have surrounded herself with many friends, but she soon drifted away from them or forced their bond to stay shallow. Everyone liked her family title, and after her brother invented the Sleekeazy's hair potion, all that anyone talked about was her brother.

“How’s Fleamont doing? Is he thinking of making any useful inventions?”.

“Wow I hope I could meet Fleamont!”.

“Does he have an unkempt hair too?”.

Fleamont, Fleamont, Fleamont. That was what anyone talked about, and it annoyed her to no ends. Although after a while people got accustomed to her and it wasn’t as annoying, but she still gets confusing looks and curious questions.

Some rude people would even ask how someone as smart as Fleamont was her brother. Because he was so majestic while she was just a boring girl. She heard that first from Olive Hornby that gave her hell for it, saying things like “if my brother was brilliant while I was a nobody, I would simply kill myself”.

Elizabeth tried her best to prove anyone wrong, that she wasn’t a boring girl, that she was special in her own way. She wasn’t born with anything special, so she practiced Quidditch till she excelled in it. She wasn’t born with it, she worked hard to obtain it.

Anyone’s first conversation with Elizabeth was about Fleamont, no one cared about her at first. But it was different with you.

You didn’t even know him or know his invention, even after knowing who her brother was you rolled with it and managed to make the conversation about her. The first time she had met you she spoke about herself to her full heart’s contents that she didn’t even know what to say in those nine hours to Hogwarts. Your first impression on Elizabeth was perfect, and after that she had promised herself to get to know you better and get closer to you.

Elizabeth’s summer, prior to meeting you had to be the worst summer she had ever lived, and each time she recalled some memories or heard the songs she heard in summer her heart would throb painfully and tears would unwillingly threaten to spill.

It was the summer that she fell in love, but it was forbidden love.

She fell in love with the first person to ask her about her, with a person that cared about her sincerely.

She fell in love with a girl who is now titled Fleamont’s fiancée.

Euphemia, before she became Fleamont’s fiancée she had been Elizabeth’s best friend. She was older than Elizabeth, and she didn’t graduate from Hogwarts. Elizabeth used to crave coming back home every summer just to spend those months with Euphemia.

Euphemia is a very beautiful girl, with breath-taking features and soft skin colored like tea milk, had raven black locks that reached her waist that she often braided or let out of the braid in gorgeous curls that bounced when she would run with Elizabeth in lily flowers fields.

When she used to think about Euphemia, she only thought about the good things and the sparkling sky and stunning flowers. She only heard good things roll out of Euphemia’s lips, but Elizabeth’s heart shattered when she realized her feelings were one-sided and that Euphemia loved her clever older brother whom Elizabeth often complained about.

It happened so quickly, like a storm dawning inside Elizabeth’s body when she saw the way Euphemia and Fleamont look at each other.

It was sickening, and jealousy had filled her insides like a deadly venom. Jealousy and envy grew inside her figure like tendrils that never stopped growing. She felt so sick that she couldn’t stop crying, she despised looking at herself in the mirror, she hated everything about herself.

Because if anything was more than good about her then maybe Euphemia would have loved her.

Elizabeth didn’t blame Fleamont, how could she blame him? He was so smart, cool and the most charismatic person she’d ever known. When she looks at him, she wishes she was him or at least if she was a version of herself just like him.

She would still get these vile feelings, but they would fade when she would spend her time with you. Elizabeth Potter liked you very much, in only this short period of time she liked you. and she hopes that those feelings toward you never evolve to something more.

“Would you look at Parkinson’s face? Someone must’ve hexed her”.

She tilted her face to listen to you then glanced over at Parkinson’s direction, who didn’t have any eyebrows, Elizabeth smirked and tightened her eyes inquiringly at you, “did you do it?”.

Suspicion was written all over her face that you couldn’t continue to fool her anymore, you sore face broke into a large grin and said, “how did you know?”. Elizabeth and you glanced over at Parkinson’s direction that gave you two a sharp glare, her nose scrunching and tilting her head up in pride.

“You are the only person that knows I’m insecure about my bushy eyebrows,” Elizabeth whispered, brushed her hair behind her ear -only for it to return to it’s place- as she moved closer to you to add, “and I never told anyone that Parkinson made fun of my eyebrows in year two”.

You moved closer to her as well, whispered back, “well if you wanted to hear about my thoughts, I think your eyebrows are beautiful, and you are beautiful.” You gave her a sneaky wink before brushing her bangs behind her ear, then you sat back when you noticed Dumbledore’s look.

Elizabeth’s heart hammered, she straightened her back and attempted to steady her breath, cheeks heating heavily, and she hoped with all her heart that they didn’t flush in red and exposing her.

Elizabeth Potter liked you very much, and she begged every entity and every deity everyone believed in that those feelings don’t evolve into something more.

The charmed clock emitted a bell noise, transfiguration class ended. Elizabeth wanted to spend more time with you, even if she had class after transfiguration but she truly didn’t care, she wanted to spend more time with you. Parting her lips to ask you if you wanted to play hooky and skip the class-

“Miss (L/N), could you please wait? Mr Riddle too”.

Elizabeth watched you and Tom glance at each other, then you glanced at Elizabeth and whispered, “I will see you at dinner”.

She wanted to spend more time with you, but there was no way. With Riddle, your day was busy, busy, busy.

With classes, and detention with Riddle then tutor classes with Malcolm. Your days were busy. Elizabeth sighed and allowed herself to glide out of class, thinking that perhaps the previous night with you may have fooled her a bit well. Because last night you were easier to talk to, easier to approach and easier to look at.

She remembered it very clearly, your skin shinning lovingly under the moon light and stars, your sweet scent because the previous night she forcefully invaded your personal space, and you didn’t seem to mind. Because last night was the happiest night after the cursed summer.

Standing up, straightening your back and looking at Dumbledore’s eyes, “may you hand me your wand?”.

Riddle without any further questions handed the wand to Dumbledore, while you reluctantly narrowed your eyes at him and asked, “why?”.

You knew why, you just wanted to hear him say it. To hear him say that he suspects you of the recent events.

“I would appreciate it if you just gave me your wand”.

“See, what you fail to see is that it is my wand, which means I have every right to know why you want me to give it to you” you said, in a bit of an impolite tone. You didn’t like Dumbledore anyway, so you didn’t worry too much about disrespecting him.

The old man shifted in his seat, neared you as he clasped his palms together. The thing he did to Zane the previous night before dropping shocking news, “because of the fifteen petrified students”.

You huffed out a smirk and took your wand out then handed it to him, “and you suspect me and Riddle, because…?”.

“A hunch”, he responded.

Earning a snort from you, while Riddle observed the scene unfold with entertainment in his eyes. “Miss (L/N), care to explain why your last casted spell is incendio?”.

Shifting your weight to your other leg -Tom noticed you did that a lot before saying something sarcastic- “I lit up my roommate on fire because she was snoring so loudly”, you said, and Tom had to stop a snort from escaping his throat.

“(L/N)”, Dumbledore called sharply. Within long moments of simply glaring at him whilst he gave you strange looks, you finally answered, “I used it because I lit up a candle when me and my friends sneaked to the Astronomy tower”.

“Thank you for your honesty”, he said.

Then he returned both of your wands, and you and Riddle exited the classroom. But of course, you had to glare one last time at Dumbledore.

The corridors were vacant, not one soul was in it. Your footsteps echoed back to you, and you had to calm down your heart, each time you see Dumbledore your hate for him simply grows more. That man had to be a walking menace as you were sure you never disliked anyone more than you dislike him.

Riddle cleared his throat, reminding you that you dislike him too.

“We should go and set her free”, you said.

“No”.

“What why not?”.

“It’s safer if we do it at night because then no one would be around”.

A gasp cut you both, you instantly whipped your head to glare at Parkinson’s shocked face. “Do what, at night?” she asked.

Crossing your arms over your chest you stated, “burning your eyebrows”.

She hid her eyebrows, or, the spot lacking of eyebrows. You glanced at Riddle, gave him knowing looks then you walked away, not wanting to deal with nosy Parkinson and her drama.

Heavy in her stomach, heavy in her eyes and heavy in her heart. Merope Riddle, maiden name Gaunt. who was divorced just several hours ago, she returned to the leaky cauldron after selling the only valuable thing she had in Diagon alley.

Her eyes glossed over the dark setting, as if suiting her mood, she walked to the owner gave him the few galleons she had and demanded, “a room”.

The man looked at her belonging, counted the galleons and said, “not enough”.

Her eyes widened, this was all she had, she didn’t even have a wand to call on the knight bus. She didn’t have anywhere to go to either, she could return home, but the memories laced within the place were too much to handle.

She would do anything, just not to return to that abusive household.

“I told you he is here! He used to always be here!”.

A sharp voice yelled, cutting through the quiet atmosphere in the leaky cauldron. “Then he is not here, what do you want us to do?”, a man responded. Merope turned to observe the scene, a short black woman screamed, she looked like a muggle.

Merope turned to the man and said, “what if I work here? I can work for free I just need a place to stay in”.

The man said with a clearly bored tone, “alright, do you have a wand?”.

“No”.

“We only offer jobs to those who own wands”, he said, returning his gaze at the angry woman, Merope sighed, took her money in a small pouch, and sat on a nearby table. That was a bit close to the commotion. So, Merope decided to indulge herself in the drama and understand why a muggle found her way to the leaky cauldron, screaming about a man that always hung out here.

Merope eyes glanced down at the woman’s hands, not finding any ring but the bump in her stomach made her confused. Maybe this muggle was in the same position she was in. A muggle, not married, and pregnant.

She wanted to laugh at the irony, they were slightly similar.

After the commotion ended; the muggle was kicked out. Merope sat in her seat and reminisced on her options.

She could return to her father’s house and live her months there until she gives birth to the baby in her stomach.

She could beg her ex-husband, not like she didn’t but she could beg him again.

She could roam London streets in hopes of a shelter, just for tonight, just to fix her head and deal with one thing at a time.

Merope had thought about going with her ten galleons and buying a wand, maybe then it could give her a job so she could pay for her and her baby. But she recalls that her father told her he would never get her a wand, because a wand is expensive, and she was not worth those galleons.

Her mere ten galleons would not take her anywhere.

“Hey, if you are not going to order anything then leave”.

Brought out of her thoughts, Merope gloomily stood up from her seat, shuffled very slowly out of the pub. Seeking the last rays of warmth before the harsh September wind attacks her back to reality.

As Merope stepped out, the cold wind attacked her just like expected. Her thin robes covered her for modesty rather than warmth and she’d already regretted all her choices so far in life. She shouldn’t have given a muggle a love potion, fooling them into infatuation because now she was back in reality.

Pregnant, penniless, homeless, and lonely.

“That vile man”.

Merope picked on the voice, turned to face the same previous muggle. The muggle noticed Merope looks, so she asked, “did a wizard violate you too?”.

Well, wizards did violate her. The Magic world has never been kind to her. Even in those months when she imagined herself to be happy, just to be slapped back into the truth. A harsh and a dry slap that still tingled.

Merope had forgotten she didn’t answer the woman, so the woman walked closer to her and began telling her whole life story, “I used to see this man, he promised me with marriage only for him to use me and run away”.

Not knowing how to respond, Merope slowly hummed. “Same thing happened to you?”.

Merope hummed again, not realizing she had lied to the muggle woman. Only for her to be pulled into reality with a sudden warm embrace, “oh you poor lady!”.

Hugs that didn’t feel like a complete lie were nice, Merope thought. Feeling the woman pet her head, not caring if she smelled like many had told her before, not caring if her hair was oily, or caring about her thin physique. This hug may have not felt like a complete lie, but it felt like a partial lie.

The muggle is sympathizing with her because she thought they were in the same position, but Merope felt soothed to the point that she didn’t want to tell her. The muggle broke the hug, still holding Merope’s forearms.

“My name is Victoria, yours?”.

“Merope”.

In the first days of November, it snowed heavily in Hogwarts. Unwavering about finishing all their Christmas shopping, students headed to Hogsmeade, and this weekend was no different than the previous ones.

“I can feel the cold inside my bones” you commented, holding Eileen’s arm while Elizabeth clutched on Eileen’s other arm tightly -Eileen wasn’t deeply affected by the cold- and the three of you walked around the frozen fountain like three awkward penguins.

“Then let’s go to the three broomsticks, rest for a bit then continue shopping, how is that?” Eileen suggested, earning a furious nod and groans in agreement from you and Elizabeth. With that the three of you directed your walk to the three broomsticks, Eileen volunteered to pull her hands out of her warm pockets to push the door in enough for you and Elizabeth to huddle inside.

As sudden warmth spread across your bodies, like fire started to spread across on your fingertips. “I think you would make a great mother”, you told Eileen.

Elizabeth affirmed absentmindedly, pointing number three to the pub hostess. Then forced her way inside the booth, and finally sat down next to you, resting her head on your shoulder immediately, “Yes, a very good mother”.

Eileen pale skin blushed as she tried to shake off her smile, “I do want to become a mother, I like children, I would raise some good kids”.

“Well, I want to raise seven kittens and would raise some pretty darn cute kittens”, Elizabeth said, taking the butterbeer from the waiter, handing you and Eileen one each. You warmed up your cold hands on the goblet.

When you noticed Eileen and Elizabeth waiting for you to add your words, you said, “I want to be the minister of magic because I would be a perfect one-“, before you could finish your words Eileen and Elizabeth broke into heavy and half-dazed laughter.

You looked at them with confused eyes, which made them laugh even harder, “what?” you said.

“With your grades, I doubt that”.

The three of you turned to face Septimus Weasley and Malcolm McGonagall, the first one had a large grin that made Elizabeth holler “Piss off Weasley!”, the two remained in their spots, Septimus rested his palms on the table and neared the three of you as he said, “as you can see the place is crowded and we would like to enjoy butterbeer in peace, so would you mind letting us join you lovely ladies?”.

You rolled your eyes, “yes we do mind” you and your two friends said just for the two boys to ignore your rejection and sit anyways, Malcolm forcefully sat next to you on the booth, making you squish Elizabeth while Septimus sat on the other side next to Eileen.

“Minister of magic, well,” he sipped from his butterbeer then added when he noticed your raised eyebrow, “you will have to compete with Riddle, it’s obvious who wins at the end”.

Your shoulders dropped significantly; you were obviously joking about becoming the minister of magic but hearing it in a condescending tone from Weasley wasn’t fun.

“She was joking, no need to be a git about it”, Elizabeth defended you, her hand rested on your thigh reassuringly then she flashed you a grin. “Whatever you say miss bushy eyebrows” Weasley said.

“Oh really? You really want to say that right now? Weren’t you the one that confessed to me in year three and cried when I rejected you?”.

Septimus blushed deeply as the rest of the table laughed at him, including Malcolm McGonagall.

“Anyways, who are you taking to the Christmas party?” Weasley asked, cutting your laughs. His question was directed towards Elizabeth and Eileen, but he kept on glancing at Malcolm with a teasing look.

“I’m going solo” Elizabeth responded, her answer slightly muffled with her goblet as she finally downed the butterbeer. “I’m taking (Y/N)” Eileen answered, leaving the two boys a bit shocked, Malcolm’s mouth agape.

So, you grinned and teased, “why? Were you thinking about asking Eileen to be your date?”, he visibly cringed and shook his head, “no!”. The way he dramatically cringed made Eileen look away uncomfortably, you wanted to defend Eileen, however she interrupted you.

“If I don’t take her then she would be serving the tables at the party, Slughorn policy to failing students” Eileen shortly explained, hiding her face with the goblet in her hand.

You tilted your face closer to Malcolm to whisper to him, “too bad you can’t take her but I promise you that the next party you can take-“.

“I wanted to ask you”, he interrupted you, face red as his light brown eyes looked everywhere but your eyes. “Me?” you asked, just to make sure you didn’t hear it wrong. “Yes, you” he said with a ghost of a smile in his lips.

It felt strange, Malcolm McGonagall wanting to ask you to come with him to Slughorn’s Christmas party. Yes, he would tutor you almost three times a week but nothing important happened in those tutor sessions. He would laugh at your jokes, and you would laugh at his own, this was it. You couldn’t even find it in your heart to consider him a friend. He was close enough to not be considered a stranger, but he wasn’t close enough to be considered a friend.

Hell, you can’t even see him in a special light. You never thought about him in a unique way. But perhaps you were jumping into conclusions, maybe he was just thinking about asking you to come with him because you were the only girl he would consider close to him. Yes, he was going to ask you because you two were friends, this had to be it.

“We have to go and continue shopping” Elizabeth said, pulling you away from Malcolm and standing up, she dragged you with her outside of the booth, “Eileen! Let’s go!” she called and wrapped her arm around your neck, Eileen quickly exited the booth and took you from your other arm.

“Bye (Y/N)”, Malcolm said and waving his hand.

Elizabeth looked at him up and down, in a condescending way, then glanced at you while you awkwardly waved back at him. Then she forcefully turned you around and dragged you out of the pub, while Eileen struggled to catch up with you two.

Feeling her heavy grasp around your neck was starting to become suffocating, you pulled away from her and asked, “What’s wrong?”.

“What’s wrong? What’s wrong?!”, she repeated pacing in front of you, while Eileen examined you two with concerned looks, “we were having a good time but you felt the need to throw yourself at Malcolm! You ruined everything-“.

“Oh my god! I wasn’t throwing myself at him! I’m sorry if you like him but-“.

“I don’t like him! I just- I just-“ her lips parted as she gawked at you with shocked eyes, not knowing how to continue the rest of her sentence because she knew if she said it out loud she was admitting all the feelings she was begging not to come to her.

All the things she wanted to hide would come rushing like that. Your clueless eyes made her feel even worse, because she was the one that overreacted, she was the one that go jealous and possessive even if she told herself, you two were friends- hell, best friends even.

She didn’t want to ruin this friendship with you, but as she glanced over to a confused Eileen, she felt that she’d already ruined it. Once again, Elizabeth Potter feelings got the best of her and ruined everything.

“I have to go.” She stated and turned on her heel as she walked away, obviously not wanting to be followed. You and Eileen stared at each other in confused looks, before you could open your mouth to speak, she beat you up to it, “I don’t feel so good so I think I will return to the dorms”.

“Want me to walk you-“, before you could finish she dismissed your offer and walked back to the castle. You stood alone, mind rushing with confused thoughts and chaotic feelings. What the hell just happened? You asked yourself.

You wished if you had the ability to read other’s minds so it could help you understand them more, or the ability to know what’s right and what’s wrong because after today it felt as if you only did the wrong decisions.

Eileen grasped her shopping bags tightly in one hand while the other one tightened her green and silver scarf. Eileen was the kind of girl that labeled her self-worth based on her grades, so now that she thought she felt happy about herself, she didn’t understand why Malcolm cringing at merely the thought of asking her to the Christmas party brought pain to her heart.

It stabbed her self esteem with a sharp knife, twisting it and thrusting it deeper just for the sake of hurting her even more. A minor reaction of someone she rarely sees shouldn’t hurt her so much, yet it did.

She never considered herself to be pretty, or worthy of love. Before meeting you she spent her days being nice to Parkinson’s friend group and hoping they would see her worthy to make her join them, they never did. Laughing at her behind her back, becoming silent when she would walk close by. Eileen didn’t ask for the moon, she asked to feel like she belonged or to feel that she was loved just like she is.

Upon meeting you, and you asking her if you could borrow her notes then handing her a chocolate frog as a thank you gift. It was so precious that she couldn’t eat it, and the chocolate frog remained in her nightstand charmed so it wouldn’t become stale with a short note that said that it was her first ever gift from a friend.

She never imagined herself to be in a friend group, or to befriend two troublemakers as the perfectionist and over achiever she was. She never imagined any of it, and it felt like a dream. But the more she thinks about it, you three had put a label to yourselves way too quick, it’s only been a month and few weeks since you had seen each other.

You three were so lonely that you tried your best to make this friend group happen, because if it didn’t happen then the three of you would have to deal with your thoughts. Elizabeth would have to remember her cursed summer break and hating herself, Eileen would live her days alone and tying all her worth to grades, while you reminisced on the fact that you don’t know anything about yourself and being alone and alone and alone.

It all came down to the feeling of being lonely.

As you heaved your breath and took a closer step to the forest up the hill, the sun setting down gently and soon you must return to Hogwarts, or you would get in trouble. It felt nice watching Hogsmeade up the hill, the tiny people the size of ants and the huts the size of breadcrumbs, it felt nice because all your feelings and issues felt irrelevant. But you couldn’t hold your tears even if you wished.

“Crucio”.

Not finding any need to turn and see who it was, you closed your eyes. Tom Marvolo Riddle had to ruin every single meltdown you had. But this time, you had to thank him, because now that you look at it, your life and feelings felt more foolish.

He was worried about learning dark arts, while you were worried about your friends.

It was ironic, really.

Not finding any need to look at Hogsmeade below you, so you turned and faced him, watched him strike his wand at a common blackbird and mutter with different tones and ways the unforgivable curse.

“You’re doing it wrong”, you said, making him shiver a bit but he quickly composed himself and like the usual, making it seem as if your eyes were deceiving to you.

He tilted his head to look at you, “what are you doing here?” he asked.

You pointed at the tear escaping your tear ducts then wiped it as you answered, “having a meltdown but you ruined it by attempting to learn an unforgivable curse”.

Tom admired the way you could make all situations humorous, even when you were crying you knew how to make it seem less awkward, as if the only reason that could make it awkward was his reaction, but you didn’t care about it, he reckoned.

After standing up and dusting the snowflakes that clung to your robes, you approached him. “the first pronunciation was right, but the way you waved your wand was wrong”.

He looked at you suspiciously, “and how do you know that?”.

“I don’t know, I just know” you slowly said, a bit concerned about your knowledge of such. It made your stomach drop and your heartbeat anxiously. “Liar, just leave and if you do tell someone I will-“.

“Even if I told anyone do you think they would believe me? A perfect star and the future minister of magic word against me, someone who is failing half of their classes” you said, giving him a buzzled look.

He parted his lips to speak, you placed your finger in front of his face as you added, “Dumbledore would suspect me more than suspect you so shush”.

Tom slapped your finger away from his face, then demanded, “if you know so much about unforgivable curses then show me”.

Your movements stilled at his words, the strange sarcastic façade that always overcome you around Riddle quickly left your body. While he smirked, looking down at you in such a demeaning way that made you irrationally angry, it made you want to hit him right then and there with your shopping bags.

“Come on, show me your talents.” He said, pointing at the same common blackbird on the tree branch.

“Fine.” You said, took out your wand and pointed it at the bird, Tom smirk transformed into a full devilish grin, one that very much reminded you of Cheshire cat just before whispering damaging ideas into Alice’s head.

At the last minute you fully turned around, pointing your wand at Tom that immediately backed away from you. So, you grinned and said, “checkmate, Riddle”.

Chapter Text

Riddle raised both his hands in the air, dropping his wand as he was showing you his palms. You grinned as you muttered, “crucio”. He closed his eyes, waiting for the bone shattering pain to enter his system. Strangely, it never did and all he heard was hissing and noises of something writhing in the crunchy snow.

He opened his eyes, looked at your wand that pointed at his direction but a bit lower, he slowly tilted his head to look at what you were pointing, it was a wild cat. Baring it’s fangs to both of you.

With that he dropped his hands to his sides and said, “you’re not funny”.

“I wasn’t trying to be funny! I just saved your life! That wild cat was about to attack you”.

Riddle shook his head, took his wand from the ground, “saved my life? That’s a dangerous hyperbole.” Then he neared you and demanded, “how did you do it?’.

You shifted your weight to your other leg; earning a roll in his eyes from Riddle that knew you were about to say something sarcastic or make a deal, “why should I tell you?’.

“Because I’m being nice or I would make Dumbledore check your wand”.

Buffing out your cheeks as you gave him a nasty glance, “prick” you said.

“No lady speaks like that-“.

“Shush”, you said and gestured for him to shut his mouth. You tiptoed to look behind him, glancing at him as you pointed behind him with your jaw. He tightened his viewpoint at you then slowly turned to look at what you pointed.

The two of you neared the source of the shuffle, you hid behind a few snowy bushes as Riddle bent next to you. Leonard Moon, the minister of magic was there as he strolled next to Dumbledore.

You gasped as you pointed at your transfiguration professor “Dumbledo-“, Riddle clasped his palm over your lips, dragging you closer to him, eyes wide as you looked up to him, heart beating in your ear. His dark eyes stared back at yours, and you finally noticed that he had a mesmerizing green haze to the brown shade.

Close to his face, so close that you noticed a singular blemish just beneath his left eye. His sharp features that looked flawless as if all deities or gods in this world took their time to sculpt his handsome face.

One thought in your head; Tom Marvolo Riddle was so handsome that he turned you tongue-tied, you couldn’t even speak or muffle due to the proximity of him and his insanely stunning face.

“Albus, I understand your concern but there’s no way two students could have done all of this!”, Leonard said, strolling on the clear path as he finally reached the place you almost had your breakdown in; the top of the hill.

“The whole staff believes that Riddle couldn’t have done such thing, and as for (Y/N), Zane said he wiped her memories”, the minister of magic explained simply.

“She couldn’t remember her memories but she could remember curses, professor Merrythought had expressed that (Y/N) has wide knowledge in dangerous spells and I think we should look into it more”.

You could feel Tom glancing at you, with a strange look you truly didn’t want to decipher as it possibly held negative thoughts of you. “What do you suggest we do, Albus?” Leonard asked, genuinely looking interested in what the older man had to say.

“We put both of them under constant surveillance”.

The second those words came out of Dumbledore’s throat, Leonard shook his head then justified, “the ministry is already understaffed-“.

“I will watch them both, although I have the final say in their executions” Dumbledore interrupted, earning a defeated look yet an agreement from Leonard. “They’re two fifteen-year-old orphans, I don’t understand why but what do you suggest we do if you do catch them red handed?”.

Tom looked at you again, another confused look in his eyes this time you shared his look as you raised an eyebrow that gave justice to your inner thoughts: What about it?

“Wipe their memories and send them to live in the muggle world”.

You were thankful that Tom didn’t remove his hands from your mouth; you let a faint gasp as you heard Dumbledore’s words. Tom glared at you, so you pretended not to notice him and continued to listen to their conversation.

As their conversation shifted to something irrelevant, you and Tom sneaked away behind them. Your eyes felt prickly with cold needles, you blamed it on the cold weather but both you and Tom knew better than this. It’s because of Dumbledore’s words.

Your legs were tired, and you just wanted to stop and take a short break. All you wanted was a short break, nothing more. Because you knew if you asked for something more, the universe would reject your request. Just like it always did.

You gave up running, stopped and rested your palms over your knees as you inhaled deep breaths. If Dumbledore decides that you were too rotten to live in the magical world then he would wipe all the good few memories you had in this world, send you to live in the muggle world.

You didn’t want that, and from the way Tom stopped running as well as he gawked at the ground; he didn’t want that either.

But what are you going to do except hope that Dumbledore won’t make up his mind?

From the way he was convinced that you were what you used to be, then he wouldn’t stop even if you pretended to be the best version of yourself. To him, you will always be a cold-blooded murderer or a killing machine like he adored describing you.

You hate Dumbledore with all your heart, and he must be seeking to make your life a living hell.

“We have to do something about him”.

You lifted your face and looked at Tom, “like what? he already made up his mind he just wants evidence to make it seem a bit fair”.

Tom shoulders tightened, he raised his head to seem composed and not like he just heard the worst news of his whole life. “We have to kill him”, he dropped the bomb. Although, you weren’t surprised and at this moment of complete anger it didn’t seem like a totally bad idea.

“Your last used spell is Crucio, go and cast another spell to change it”, Tom said quickly so you took out your wand and casted a simple levitation spell that lifted the ends of Tom’s robes. You sighed and asked, “how are we going to kill him?”.

“First of all, we have to gather all information about you” Tom said, making you frown and before you could ask for a justification, he interrupted you to say, “we have to know why his mind is set on destroying you”.

“This doesn’t make any sense” you said.

“It does, you are just scared of what you will find out” Riddle bellowed making you frown as you scoffed, before walking to the opposite direction of him. “(Y/N)!”, he called, you stopped as you sighed and said, “I’m going back to the castle, don’t worry I won’t tell anyone about anything”.

Tom lied to you, he didn’t want to find out about you more for the sake of Dumbledore. Well, it was a minor reason, but his main reason was that he wanted to know more about you, because he was certain he knew more about you than you did.

How could he not? He lived his first six years with you and your muggle mother. He remembers everything, he remembers all his days with you and your muggle mum, because it used to be his happiest days before he came to Hogwarts.

So it was only natural that he felt so much anger when your mother dropped him at the orphanage, crying and blabbering about how she will come back and take him with her.

“I will come back, I promise, you won’t even notice my absence”, she told him.

“I will come back for you”, she promised him.

But almost ten years passed, she never came for him and he never saw you ever again. After almost ten years, you show up in his school, witnessed him open the chamber of secrets. Ten years later you showed up, except the sparkle in your eyes was gone and you changed so much that he almost didn’t recognize you.

Tom just wanted to know where you were in those ten years and why you never came for him, he wanted to know why you left him.

The day you spent in Hogsmeade had to be a long one because the next morning when you sat next to Eileen, she made up an excuse and avoided you, Elizabeth didn’t bother attending any of her classes.

You wished to know your mistake or what made Eileen act this way, but as much as you could gather from her. Eileen Prince never lacked anything and she never disclosed her feelings to anyone. It felt strange sitting next to her, as you held your books tighter to your chest and muttered, “hi”.

“Hey”, she responded you, not giving you a single look.

To your luck, the classroom was still filling out. It was one of those classes after a break that students always arrived late to. “You alright?”, you asked Eileen that heaved a silent sigh before glancing at you and forcing a tight-lipped smile and nodding.

Everything about this interaction felt so awkward and forced. Truth to be said, it was forced because you were the one attempting to carry this dry conversation. You wanted to know what the hell you did so you can fix it, so you can sincerely apologize because you miss your friends.

But Eileen is acting cold and shallow towards you.

And Elizabeth is exclusively avoiding you.

Licking your dry lips as you looked away before glaring back at Eileen you spoke, “at least tell me what the hell I did so I can apologize”.

Eileen frowned, turned to face you and you immediately regretted your words. “The world doesn’t revolve around you I’m just upset”.

“Oh really? You are acting cold to me because you are going through something that coincidentally happened at the same time Elizabeth got mad at me? Don’t you lie to me!” you said and gripped on your books tighter that your fingers almost turned numb, your eyes were shaking as raging tears of wrath threatened to spill at any given moment.

Eileen gave you the harshest look you had ever seen in her gentle features, she always gazed at you with a warm look that carried adoration and some sort of gratitude behind that you too felt towards her. You were used to the kind Eileen, not this one that is glaring at you with complicated feelings.

You messed up. You screwed up every good thing left in your life.

“I’m not talking to you ever again!” she screamed.

“Great! Because I don’t want to talk to you either!” you screamed back.

“Fantastic! I don’t want to speak or look at you ever again!” she bellowed.

Slughorn ran towards you two, seized you from your upper arm and you wanted to push him away but his hold was colossal that he pulled you away from your previous spot and dragged you to the front of the class, made you sit down at the front bench and said, “I think it would be wise if you don’t sit in that seat again”.

No matter how much you wanted to refuse his words, he was right. Eileen had grown tired of you, and as much as you like her and loved her as a friend. That enjoyment was short lived, and now you’re back in square one.

Lonely, with no friends.

You opened the current chapter in your potions book as you attempted to glare at the contents of whatever this potions book spoke to you. Obviously, it wasn’t easy as your eyes were burning and the fact that you just ruined a precious friendship with a friend.

But again, it truly wasn’t entirely your fault.

You wished that there was a limit to all the faults you could do and then you would stop picking the wrong choices-

Someone kicked the stool you were sitting at, you glared up and one thought in your head: you wanted to punch someone or kick something and let out all the frustration in your system. But of course, the person that kicked your stool was no one other than Riddle.

“This is my seat, leave” he ordered.

Slammed his books on the bench while you rolled your eyes away and stood up, “Slughorn told me to sit here so find another seat” you said bitterly. Riddle raised a singular eyebrow, crossed his arms behind his back and said, “I said get up”.

“Yeah (L/N), leave” Malfoy said, then kicked your stool once again making the harsh metal slap your knee. Your eyes pricked again with tears though this time from pain. You looked away and attempted to fix your breathing.

Then you narrowed your eyes at Malfoy that kicked the stool once again, jabbing at your knee again and it was so painful that you doubled slightly in pain. Malfoy grinned mischievously while Orion Black chuckled. Malfoy mouthed at you and innocent, “what?”.

You reacted by whacking your book on the side of his head, it happened so swiftly that it took him by surprise, Orion let a silent gasp while Tom looked to his left, and you didn’t want to understand his look. You were livid at every single thing in your life right now.

Slughorn took Malfoy and made him sit in your previous place; next to Eileen. He told him some words that made him shake his head and refuse whatever Slughorn said. Which made Eileen recoil into herself and scoot away from Malfoy that slapped his books on the bench and sat in a very angry manner.

You wanted to beat Malfoy again.

Tom raised an eyebrow, so you rolled your eyes and shifted to sit on the only empty stool that possibly belonged to Malfoy. Tom took his seat next to you, “why are you sitting here?”, Orion asked you.

“Slughorn made me” you replied, taking your quill, dipped it in black ink and mindlessly doodled on the edge of your book. As the Slughorn began his short explanation about the potion, you kept on ruminating about the fact that you recently turned fifteen but you already hate your age so much.

Nothing is going your way, nothing.

Everything was complicated, your only two friends are mad at you for reasons you don’t understand and when you did try and solve something with Eileen it turned out to be worse. While you were worried about some childish drama you were also worried about the fact that if Dumbledore finds something about you then you are done for.

Literally.

You hate the age of fifteen so much, and you hate your life even more.

“Lately, there has been a shortage of ingredients so we will make this potion into a pair work, I will be checking so everyone… join in making the potion”, Slughorn said and looked at you in the last part of his words, that made you roll your eyes and scoff with inside frustration.

“Get the knotgrass” Riddle ordered you.

So you left your seat and went to take the knotgrass from the ingredient cabinet, and you handed it to him. Before you could sit back down he ordered, “Get the bicon horn powder”. You sighed but did it anyways, this time handing him the powder a bit aggressively.

“Get the-“.

“Get it yourself!”, you interrupted him and sat back down on your seat as you slumped your head on the table, wanting nothing but for this long day to end already. Luckily, you weren’t the only one that felt this way as Eileen yelled at Malfoy.

“How can you mess up every thing?! Idiot!” she said.

Which lifted a bit of the heavy feelings in your heart. For a strange reason, seeing Eileen get worked up and infuriated was comforting too. Perhaps, in a secret toxic place inside your heart, you didn’t want her to be feeling okay after the argument between the two of you.

That, and looking at Malfoy shocked face was hilarious, because he got told off by the usually timid Eileen.

“At least pretend as if you’re helping if you don’t want to work”, Riddle said, not giving you a singular look as he stirred the potion. “Don’t tell me what to do” you hissed, but still doing what he said. Which made him smirk and ignore you.

“You’re too emotional” he said.

Which made you sigh and give him the chopped up knotgrass, “life isn’t practically the nicest to me” you said. Making Riddle stop his actions and still in his movement, anger flashing in his eyes but soon returned to his apathetic features.

“Comfortable life with a father at home, life is very nice to you” he said.

“Didn’t you hear what D-“ you cut your words to scoot closer to him and whisper, “Dumbledore said? That father is not my real father”.

“Ignorance is a bliss, if you weren’t there you would have lived your days happily” he said.

You looked up at him, handed him the other ingredient as your fingertips softly touched. Without casting you another ray of attention he said, “all you do is whine, complain and cry,” forcefully pulled the ingredient from your hand, “acting like an angsty teenager.” He finished his words.

It felt like he had told you everything he wanted to tell you, about the way he perceived you and didn’t wait for you to justify anything. As if there was an invisible barrier between the two of you no matter the proximity; your shoulders touching his arm as your eyes found no solace but looking at his handsome features whilst he worked on the potion.

Were you really like what he thought? Nothing more and nothing less of an angsty teenager that was never happy of what they have?

Truth to be said, you weren’t sure. You could have lived your days happily if only you didn’t enter Dumbledore’s office and hear him speak to Zane. If only you didn’t, if only you did. If only situations that put you in this current position; unsure of yourself and your life choices.

It’s correct, you were acting like an angsty teenager. Exactly like Riddle said.

You glanced back up at Eileen, who coincidentally had been staring at you with perplexing meanings. Still, you decided that you would be the one to try and mend your friendship with her, you will try, and you won’t let your angsty teenager persona get the best of you.

So, for now, you flashed her a small tight-lipped smile that made her look away quickly.

As the class finished, you collected your things and decided to skip the following class and demand an explanation from Elizabeth. When you reach to the Gryffindor tower you will worry about getting inside the common room.

The corridors were emptying quickly, and as you headed to the Gryffindor tower you felt a bit soothed seeing some Gryffindors were already skipping class and giggling chaotically while they set pranks. Septimus Weasley was one of them, so without thinking you yanked him from his collar, and forced him to follow you.

“(Y/N)! where are we going?” he said loudly.

“You will help me break inside the Gryffindor common room” you replied.

He chuckled and slipped out of your grasp then picked up his pace to match yours, “it’s not breaking in if I invite you, right?” he said with a wink, making you turn your face away with a grin and a scoff, “right”.

He climbed three steps at a time and with your excitement and thrill pumping in your body, you imitated him with a slight bounce in your pace as you finally jumped the last step and reached the portrait of the fat lady.

Septimus said the password, not caring that you would listen or anything. Honestly, you were confused that how Gryffindors trusted you so easily. By now, that password should just be told to you as well because you always know it from loud Gryffindors.

The portrait swung open, and you climbed inside the common room and to your surprise it was empty, which had to be something you need to come to realize that most Gryffindors liked spending their days out of their common room in the mornings.

You took the stairs leading to the girls’ dormitory, your thrill turning into anxiety that made your fingers shake slightly. Still, you knocked on Elizabeth’s dorm room then entered after few moments.

The room was messy but clean, it had few robes thrown around, some beds had the covers messy while others had the covers folded neatly over. Except one bed had the blinds drawn shut; Elizabeth’s bed. You approached her bed and stood there, crossing your arms over your chest.

“Wake up!”, you yelled and opened the curtains, giving way to the sunlight to enter Elizabeth’s bed. She stirred in her bed and sat up, “(Y/N)?” she called, you grinned and said, “the one and only”.

“What are you doing here? What time is it?” she asked, laying back in her bed slowly and covered her shoulders with the thick blankets, you had to admit; the Gryffindor dorms were always colder than the Hufflepuff dorms.

You sat on her bed, took off your shoes and slid next to her on the bed, she stared at you with confusion, her eyes red and bloodshot. Which is a strange sight for Elizabeth, whom you got used to seeing with a wide a grin or sparkling eyes. “I’m here to talk to you about everything,”.

Pointing at you and her, “we need to fix this,” you said, then fixed the misplaced pieces of her hair and finally you justified “you’re too precious for me to lose over a misunderstanding”.

Elizabeth sighed, turned to fully face you and rested her hands under her face while gazing at you. “I just hate sharing my friends with anyone, and it’s not because I like Malcolm” she finally confessed.

Or more like partially, the last part was true and the first part she wasn’t sure about it. She said it aloud not only for you, but also for herself. To make herself believe it as well.

You hummed in acknowledgement, she added, “I don’t like boys” she said. You hummed once again, “and I have never had a friend that liked me for me, so seeing… that… I didn’t like it and lashed out childishly”.

“I’m sorry (Y/N)”, she apologized sincerely.

Smiling brightly at her, “I will only accept your apology if you help me make things right with Eileen”.

Elizabeth giggled, “of course! But first of all, what happened?”.

You heaved a deep sigh and looked back at the roof of her four-poster bed, you gazed back at Elizabeth and told her everything.

“Merope!”, Victoria shouted, took the poor woman by her upper arm from the floor by the leaky cauldron, “what are you doing here?! In the cold!”.

The pale woman stared at Victoria that fussed around about how cold she was, and why she was sat outside the leaky cauldron whilst she was pregnant. “Come with me!” Victoria said, draping her own warm coat over Merope’s shoulders and pulling her behind her.

“You could have told me that you didn’t have anywhere to stay the last time we met”, Victoria berated softly, turning around the street and bringing Merope with her. Too exhausted, and too cold to respond Merope resolved to watch Victoria.

Merope still didn’t reveal the fact that she was a witch to Victoria, and the idea of telling her as Victoria invited her inside to her home felt so wrong. How would she ever reveal such thing to a kind and a sweet lady that was only wronged by the wizarding world?

Victoria’s home was small, very small actually, slightly cold but a lot warmer than the harsh cold outside. Victoria made Merope sit on the singular sofa next to the fireplace, she started the fire manually and Merope watched her do that, it was a lot strange how she was doing it manually in peace without magic while Merope spent her entire life getting bullied about doing anything without magic.

Merope felt safe next to Victoria, so safe that as the fire crinkled and the warmth spread across the living room her eyelids became heavy. But before she could fully sleep and travel to dreamland, she was nudged back to reality by Victoria, she had pushed her a warm glass of tea, and a bowl of steaming porridge, “you have to eat”.

Accepting the bowl as she placed it over her lap and it warmed it there, making her feel a lot more peaceful. She took the tea and sipped on it carefully. Victoria sat next to her, and said, “we have to brush and wash your hair”.

“Yes”, Merope finally spoke for the first time, her vocal cords a bit dry but feeling much better than before. Victoria took her agreement and headed inside a small bedroom only to come out shortly with a black comb in her hand.

“I’m really good at styling hair” she assured before gently brushing the ends of Merope’s hairlocks and slowly going up.

Merope had to confess now. It’s no or never, and she truly didn’t want to continue a friendship based on lies, her previous marriage was enough. If Victoria wanted to leave her then she would accept it. Setting the now empty cup on the floor, Merope finally confessed.

“I’m a witch”.

Victoria hands froze, her movement stilled for short moments before they continued combing through Merope’s hair. “Thank you for telling me, Merope” Victoria said with a small sincere smile. Her eyes glanced at the bowl of porridge in Merope’s lap then she said, “go on now, eat”.

“Alright”.

Examining her reflection in the long mirror, Eileen adjusted her tie and the snake pin over it. No matter how many times she gazes at her reflection she wasn’t satisfied, she didn’t like many things about her appearance.

Her pale skin, narrow eyes with eye bags underneath, and unlike many girls that had a natural pink tint to their lips she didn’t, the gap in between her front teeth took her confidence and mopped the floor with it. Her self-esteem reached the floor.

With a tired exhale, she slinged her satchel over her shoulder and exited her dorms.

Head filled with anxiety, and concern over how she was supposed to begin this new day after her fight with you. First class is Potions, and that fact alone didn’t give her enough time to steady her heart and thoughts.

“Oi Prince!”.

Malfoy had to say something about her behavior the previous day towards him. Turning around to throw him a scowl, “what?”. Riddle was sitting at the leathered armchair by the fireplace, Orion and Crabbe were seated next to each other, huge grins that described mischief were drawn in their faces.

This alone made Eileen stomach drop.

Masquerading confidence, she raised her chin and stared down at him. It took Malfoy off guard at the newfound confidence, “why did you fight with (L/N)?” he asked, crossed his arms then glanced at his friends just to make sure they were paying attention to what he is saying.

“That is none of your business” Eileen said.

“Oh come on, we both know it was you that ruined it, walking around like a killjoy” Orion joined the teasing.

“Your life must be so boring that you’re digging in mine”, Eileen said lastly then tightened her grip around the strap of her satchel and walked away, finally exiting the common room. She exhaled sharply and walked with a frown in her face.

She was not ready for her first class, she wasn’t even ready to enter the great hall.

Her footsteps echoed through the corridor, as she raised her eyes off the cobblestoned ground her eyes met up with Elizabeth standing there, her hands clasped together behind her back, “got your period?” she asked.

“Excuse me?!” Eileen exclaimed.

“Frowning from the morning when nothing happened to you, I bet you got your period” Elizabeth commented, walked next to a flabbergasted Eileen, “how can you speak about something so private-“.

“Oh no! I’m an adult female no one should know that I bleed every month!” Elizabeth mocked before crossing her arms and smiling, “anyways, why are you angry at (Y/N)?”.

“I’m not angry, we just had a petty fight that I actually regret now-“ she was interrupted by Elizabeth clapping, and saying, “Heard that (Y/N)?! take off the cloak now!”.

The ravenette watched the scene before her, appalled and confused. Elizabeth clawed aimlessly at the invisible air, before you suddenly appeared from thin air right beside them two. “Really? You’re not angry at me?” you asked.

 Eileen scoffed, “why would I be angry at you?”.

“I don’t know! I mean this one was angry at me for nor reason too!” you said, index pointed at Elizabeth. The blonde lightly blushed, then took both of you and Eileen under her arms, “are we good now? I got tired of being alone”.

“Me too” you said.

Eileen watched you and Elizabeth act as if nothing ever happened, as if just the previous day Eileen didn’t shout at you saying she doesn’t want to ever speak to you. Although, she wasn’t complaining. She liked going over everything and never acknowledging it as it only made her uncomfortable.

“The three musketeers made up!” Crabbe exclaimed, walking ahead of you.

Malfoy quickened his steps to walk next to Crabbe, ahead of you “It really is a mystery how they put up with Prince-“.

“Shove off, Malfoy” Elizabeth said, attempting to walk faster and ignore the two boys. You glanced behind when you head footsteps behind you. Black and Riddle were there, Black smirking at Malfoy and Crabbe teasing Elizabeth and Eileen. While Riddle whole attention was poured over a dark book.

Possibly a dark arts book; you always see him ask Slughorn for a permission slip to get into the restricted section. Something in you wanted to get his attention, so you said, “you will fall on your bum if you don’t take your head off that book”.

His irises lifted up to glance at you, “worry about yourself failing your classes first” he said, making his friends giggle as you huffed, Elizabeth patted your back while Eileen eyed you with concern.

As you scowled and he smiled at you with victory, “whatever” you said.

“Really, (L/N) how come you don’t even know things first years know?” Black asked, you lied with a shrug of your shoulders, “I don’t know”.

“Could you be that person…” Malfoy said, suspiciously narrowing his eyes at you. He got everyone attention, even Riddle. “My father told me that there is a person that was a part of an African hit group”.

“Hit group?” Elizabeth repeated, Abraxas Malfoy shifted his attention to her before explaining, “you pay them money and they kill people for you”.

“It’s Hitman, idiot. I head about it too from my cousin. Apparently, the youngest member ratted them out in exchange of living a peaceful life” Orion Black explained, glancing at Riddle to make sure that he got the desired reaction.

“You suppose that person is (Y/N)?” Eileen asked.

Silence enveloped everyone as they all gazed at you with critical eyes. Anxiety banged in your core; this is why Dumbledore doubted you this is why your memories were erased so you are not a threat to anyone.

And now that you know your real self, your eyes pricked with pain as you stared awkwardly at the floor while the rest never took their attention off you. Just before you could break down and cry, they all laughed loudly except Riddle.

“This one is a hitman?! She is terrified of thunder!” Elizabeth said slapping your back as she leaned on you for support while she laughed crazily.

“She can barely memorize her notes”.

“She cannot do spells first years can do”.

“She lacks knowledge about basic things, no way”.

And so forth they all, excluding Riddle, added things about you while drowning into a worse fit of laughter. Until you got enough of it and shouted, “it’s not that funny! This is bullying!”.

You all reached the great hall, you stomped away towards the Hufflepuff table. “It was fun talking to you Miss Hitgirl!” Malfoy said loudly while waving. You scoffed at him then looked away at Elizabeth and Eileen that sat next to each other and giggled.

“You two are my friends! You shouldn’t bully me!” you berated, only making their giggles become louder.

“It’s like your head is empty, that head of yours is only for decoration”.

Riddle told you, slamming his quill over his thick notebook. This is your first lesson with him, he asked you three questions and you answered all of them wrong. His patience was thin, and his temper was short, that and add to that him disliking you.

“No need to shame me about it” you muttered.

He glanced at you with frustration, “oh yes I will, I asked you simple questions that a first year could have answered”.

“Well I did answer you if you think about it”.

“and your answers were wrong” he said the last word harshly with a final scowl on you. “You have to pay attention and-“ this time slammed a pile of heavy and dusty books before you, “study”.

“Riddle those books are dusty this just proves that you don’t study” you commented with a voice above a mutter, “those are your books, not mine” he responded making you sink further in your chair, back hunched and eyes straining on the mountain of books.

“Study so professor Slughorn sees I’m not only a great student but also a great tutor” he told you before opening the first chapter of level one potions. “We will begin now, concentrate” he snapped his finger in front of your face making you swat it away.

You and Riddle were sat in the student hall reading and studying just like the cluster of fifth year students and seventh year students. Christmas is only in a few days, and Slughorn Christmas party is tomorrow and instead of learning about few make-up spells from Elizabeth, you are sat beside Riddle and watching him rumble about ingredients and their usages.

Tilting your head and examining Riddle’s features, which you found yourself doing that a lot. No matter how many times you look at his breathtaking complexion, you can never seem to get used to it. His beauty was out of this world.

“Honestly, pathetic” he tutted at you.

Though his nasty personality was so ugly that it made you sneer, it was interesting how one can have features of a sculpted angel by the gods and deities everyone believed in, yet, have the ugliest personality that seemed to be manifested by the all the demons and the devil of hell.

Tom Riddle truly was an interesting boy.

Though the more you look at him the more you wonder about his future, his plans seemed unpredictable just like his unpredictable personality. In your head you mean, looking back at everyone you know they all had clear career paths in their way.

Elizabeth wanted to become a well known Quidditch player, Eileen wanted to become a potion maker and inherit her family potions store in Diagon alley. Minerva wanted to be a Quidditch player, but it all changed when the Slytherin beater hit a bludger right in her leg resulting in a permanent injury, so she decided to simply work in the ministry of magic.

Spetimus Weasley wanted to work in the ministry too, Malcolm wanted to work as an Auror.

So far, everyone in your year had their future planned, except for you.

“Riddle”, you called. He ignored you and continued to read while lining important things for you to review. “Riddle” you called again. You were ignored.

“Ass sucker-“.

“What?!” he interrupted you, turning to face you with a scowl. You forced a smile and leaned in closer to him, “glad to know you don’t respond to your name but respond to ass sucker”, he scoffed rolled his eyes then turned to flip the page. You scooted closer to him and whispered.

“But honestly, what do you want to do for when… you know… graduate?” you asked and rested your head on your palm, watched him summarize whole pages of books for you. Which made you think, he is actually a bit thoughtful in that department.

Making summaries and underlining hard words for you to explain the meaning on the margins. It seemed way too earnest to be him wanting you to get top grades so Slughorn can like him more, and it seemed way too natural so you cannot even point it out for him. And according to Eileen, Tom never tutored anyone before.

“None of your business” was his answer, resulting in you to tease him by saying, “You are probably going to spend the rest of your life in that chamber of yours with that lovely pet of yours and praying to that god of yours to make you a better ass su-“.

“Expand my extracurricular club” he interrupted you impatiently.

You took a sip of your green tea, he raised an eyebrow strangely at you. The bitter taste invaded your mouth so you put down the cup and sucked on your tongue hoping the bitter taste would disappear.

“Too basic for you, Mr Riddle, I thought that you would aim for something higher like the minister of magic” you said, pushing the mug away from you and towards the middle of the table, you noted in your head that you hate the taste of green tea.

He narrowed his eyes at you, “it’s not basic we have admirable objectives that will stir this whole world”, this time it was you who returned your gaze to the books and took the papers he wrote for you, “whatever you say, Riddle”.

Riddle glanced back at your mug, still filled with the hot liquid. Humor lingering in his eyes as he thought, she still hates green tea.

He also can’t help but remember what Elizabeth said, what happened a week prior in front of the Slytherin dormitory. She mentioned that you are terrified of thunder, he recalls that too. Tom hated that even after all this time, all those years waiting for Victoria and you to show up, he remembers everything and the faintest details about you.

You hated green tea, despised raisins and always boasted about preferring to starve rather than eat them. He remembers the way your eyes twinkle when he read muggle stories and your favorite just had to be Alice in wonderland.

But everything changed. You left, you left him to rot in that stupid orphanage where he wasn’t wanted, in that cold place that made him hate himself and hate living. In the place that made him despise that he is breathing, because every time he took a breath it felt as if he was dying. He hated it, he hated everyone in it, he hated Victoria for leaving him there, and he hated you for not staying there with him, or ever turning up for him.

He hated you. He said it loudly and clearly in his head.

“You alright?”, you asked, pushing the same green tea towards him, “here”, he looked away in disgust, “I never drink or eat after anyone”.

Shrugging your shoulders and turning your attention to the book, you read the lines, tested the strange words on your tongue. Whilst Tom tried his best to stabilize his emotions, his feelings, and his view on you. Because you weren’t special to him anymore.

“I remember this in today’s class, gnome toenail powder” your voice faded into the back of Tom’s head, as his head lingered about the past before coming back to the present.

Merope was sick to her core, stomach dropping intensely before coming back to its original place again. Nervous wasn’t enough to describe how she was feeling. Visiting her father’s home shouldn’t make her feel that way, yet here she was.

Her gaze lifted to look at Victoria, the woman looked anxious as well as she peeked at the dirty windows. “Do you really have to get those books?”, she asked, unsure of Merope’s though process but still not wanting to plant the seed of doubt in her heart.

“I want my baby to learn about magic, even if I hate it,” she took a brave step towards the run-down shack, “I want them to know that they’re not crazy, just special”.

Victoria lips lifted in a smile, her gaze dropped to the floor before nodding her head, “do you think my baby will be magical too?”.

“Definitely, you said that the father is a wizard”.

The brunette sighed then nodded, “even if I hate magic, I still want them to know about it and if they experience it I won’t be opposed” she added to Merope’s words.

Merope glanced one last time at Victoria before opening the door to the shack. “There is a spell that repels muggles”, Victoria watched Merope take a closer step inside, “I will wait for you here”.

Walking inside her father’s home shouldn’t be this nerve-wrecking, as she finally took the last step in the middle of the living room, her breath hitched inside her throat, but she bravely breathed out and took a closer look to her surroundings.

Nothing much changed, the shack didn’t have another soul but her, the furniture was extremely dirty and dusty. Her bedroom door was shut close, so she went inside immediately and stopped at the doorstep of her own bedroom.

Everything looked exactly like how she left it, the small twin sized bed at the corner of the room by the dusty window, the chair by her small desk, the few selection of books she inherited from her mother.

Although her favorite, Hogwarts: A history sat beneath her bed out of fear that it might be found by her father or brother, she kneeled by her bed and took the book in her hands. Wiped it with her hand and opened the first page, she read her favorite note again, the only note that made her continue living and not take her own life.

To my daughter, Merope.

 I will take you to study at Hogwarts, so you can experience the things I didn’t.

Your mother.

Reading it alone made tears well in her eyes, she hugged the book to her chest and wished that the book could transfigure into her mother, into someone she only remembers faintly. Someone that made her smile and made her think: I have so many good memories with this person.

Merope wanted to become a good mother to her unborn child, she knew she might lash out and become cold just like she does to Victoria sometimes. Not realizing the minutes she used up, she only was stricken back to reality as Victoria yelled out of the cottage.

“Merope?! Are you alright?!”.

She inhaled in and attempted to not make her voice shake as she said loudly, “I’m alright”.

Now is a different time, Merope promised herself that when her baby opens their eyes to the world, she would be a good mother, she will love them unconditionally. And if the universe didn’t allow her to live much longer; she had a strong feeling that the future she hoped for wouldn’t come her way.

Even so, she trusted that Victoria wouldn’t disappoint her.

Merope took the books over her desk and left the house. The sun already set, Victoria’s back was resting over a tree, as she spotted Merope she approached her and helped take some books from her. Merope stared at the smiling Victoria.

“Let’s go home”, Victoria said.

“Yes…home” Merope agreed, looked at the shabby shack one last time before walking close to Victoria towards the train station that should take them to London, to their home, as Victoria liked to say.

“Very nice miss Prince” Slughorn said, casting his look at you while Eileen tightly held into your palm, “taking (L/N) as a plus one so she doesn’t end up helping” he said, taking a sip of the tiny cup in his hand.

“Sir, that wasn’t my intention I don’t mind helping-“ you pointed at your chest as you shook your head, “I really could just take off this dress and serve right away-“.

“Enjoy the party, miss (L/N)” he interrupted you, giving you and Eileen one last sassy look before steering away. “Okay that was my intention, I would hate to serve those arrogant kids” you said, your jaw pointing at some muggle-borns.

Eileen snickered at your words, her hand covered her mouth as she whispered to you, “I have to admit, they are very unpleasant sometimes” she said as her hand left yours, so you linked your arm with her, “sometimes?! Eileen they cry about being called mudblood but call me a nigger- they are always arrogant gits”.

You stopped speaking as you watched Elizabeth try and balance three cups on her two hands pressed close to her chest and head, “mudblood? Oh I love this conversation already, miss hitgirl, tell me more”, tilting your head to the back and seeing Malfoy.

Rolling your eyes as you took a cup from Elizabeth, “I’m just mad that the muggle borns cry about being called a slur yet have the nerve to call every colored person they see a slur” you explained to the blond boy, and truth to be said the way he agreed to your words made you feel a little bit more confident.

You cannot be the bigger person in this.

“She’s being dramatic” Eileen said, her hand waving at your words which made you irrationally angry.

“No, Eileen, I’m not being dramatic just the other day they ‘pranked’ me by burning me!”, Elizabeth swallowed the chocolate she was chewing on, and affirmed, “it’s true I was there”.

“I’m sure there was a reason for their actions“ Eileen said lightly, taking another sip of her drink and not noticing the effect her words had on you.

“I was the one pranking them but they targeted (Y/N)” Elizabeth explained, taking a pastry off a tray a very unlucky student servant had, she munched on it, and continued while chewing, “why do you think they did that?”.

“Wow, that is terrible” Eileen tried to soothe your glare at her. Exhaling and shaking your head, “whatever I’m going to go take a walk”, you said.

As you walked away you could hear Eileen try and calm you down, “(Y/N) I’m really sorry I didn’t mean it that way-“ so you tried to focus on other noises and not her voice because listening to her excuse her actions rather than sincerely apologize made you more furious.

“Eileen, what in Merlin’s buttocks did you just say? Excusing racism?” Elizabeth hissed with disbelief, “you know I don’t mean it that way” Eileen whispered, losing confidence as she noticed Malfoy’s disagreement.

“Oh really? What way did you mean it in?” Elizabeth rolled her eyes, turning her face away from Eileen that cowered back into herself, before Malfoy could open his mouth, Riddle joined the circle and ignored the tension between them as he said, “did any of you see (L/N)?”.

“Why?” Eileen asked, earning a scoff from Elizabeth that said, “you were the one that made her leave, anyways she’s right Riddle, why do you want (Y/N)?”.

Riddle instantly responded, “I need to show professor Slughorn my achievements”.

Elizabeth, Eileen and Abraxas all let an understanding hum making Riddle exhale impatiently, “right! You are tutoring her!” Elizabeth said, her index pointing at Tom, he stared down at her making the blonde return her index to circle to cup in her hand uncomfortably.

“Where?” he demanded.

“Huh?” Eileen asked.

“Where did she go?” Tom asked.

Malfoy pointed at one of the exits, “she went that way-“ he said only to Tom leave to the direction. As Tom left the ruckus of the party, he was enveloped by silence that buzzed in his ear. He eyed the different directions and decided to take the corridor that pointed to the right.

He hated that he still remembers that about you, that when you get lost you always took the right side of everything. The right side of the road, the right side of the swing, the right side of the dining table, the right part of the small sofa, and the right side of the bed.

Tom was right, there you were, sitting at the stairs next to a giant glass-less window. Your eyes stuck at the sky as you shivered in the cold. It was 21^st of December, snow covered all of Scotland.

He wanted to call for you so he can show your new knowledge to Slughorn, though he recalled Elizabeth’s words to Eileen,

“you were the one that made her leave”, so he took slow steps to you, sighed and gazed at you as you finally turned your head to gaze at him too. Both of you taking in the other’s different appearance.

He wore a classy dark suit, looked like it was tailored to fit him and only him, his hair styled elegantly to fit everything. Even with everything, you were mesmerized by his enchanting olive green eyes.

For once, he didn’t seem to be able to control his mouth that said, “found you, Cheshire kitten”.

The nickname made your heart jump in your chest, as strange as it seemed, it was as if you heard it before, a long time ago. In the folds of your brain that is now clear, with not a single memory. “Tom”, you called.

“Tom, did I know you before coming to Hogwarts?” you asked and hoped that from the waver in his usually apathetic features, that he would tell you the truth.

Chapter Text

“Tom, did I know you before coming to Hogwarts?” you asked and hoped that from the waver in his usually apathetic features, that he would tell you the truth.

He wanted to tell you that he knows you very well, he knows things about you that you still don’t know. Your favorite colour, your favorite book, your favorite pudding. He wanted to tell you that he knows about the things that you love and the things you hate too.

However, his lips were sealed shut. Just because when he was young and you were his favorite person, he promised to never tell you lies, that promise still in his head, but now everything changed.

As if the dullest tune in a piano was played, as if you were running out of time to figure out many secrets, goosebumps rose in your arms and the back of your neck, you could feel some in your head.

Confused, and uncertain you heard him say, “No.”

You let a hum as you detached your eyes from his own, glancing back at the night sky with the cold seeping inside your bones. You were sad, and heartbroken but you didn’t know why which didn’t make anything feel better.

He pivoted on his heel, his mission of making you impress Slughorn completely got discarded. So you remained in your place for a few more moments, heartbroken and clueless on why you were feeling like this.

“Found you, Cheshire kitten”.

As strange as it sounds, it sounded familiar. Like something nostalgic and something you associated with comfort and warmth.

“Where were you? Victoria and I were so worried”.

A voice banged in the back of your head, a childish voice.

Who is Victoria and that child? Was it suppressed memories? You wanted more answers, but you had no clues, or even threads to connect. You reached the party once again, dusted your dress and fixed your hair before entering.

Snaking your way to the corner of the party, you awkwardly stood in the corner and gazed at the perfect scene -not before taking a drink- . No matter how much you dislike Professor Slughorn, his parties were smart and calculated, he invited his top students and invited his previous students so he can help each other build up connections.

Even if you didn’t understand the reason he did this, it was genius.

Most of his students were guaranteed a job the second they graduate. As you stood in the corner, you noticed few muggle-borns were sending glares at your directions, you breathed out and directed your attention to your side.

Surprised to see Nancy Parkinson standing just few footsteps away from you, “gah! I hate muggle-borns” she hissed. “Tell me about it” you said and sipped from your cold drink. Which was a dumb choice as you were already slightly cold from being outside.

“You hate them?” Nancy asked in disbelief, “some of them call me a slur each time they see me, of course I will” you said.

She shook her head, in exhaustion, “they pull the ends of their eyes and say gibberish words to me which I don’t understand the gesture but Tom told me it’s rude”.

“I hate them, imagine thinking someone is different just because they have different features from you” you said, standing next to Nancy. “I know! Merlin’s beard is that stupid”.

“The other day, Elizabeth was pranking some muggle-borns and I was with her except I didn’t do anything, did you know what they did?” you told Nancy, she gave you her full attention, “what?” she asked.

“They burned a slur in my skin” you said.

“Merlin’s beard” Nancy whispered, turning her attention to the same muggle-borns. As much as you didn’t particulary have great interactions with Nancy, or the greatest first impression on her, you felt validated when she commented about the horrid muggle-borns. Unlike Eileen that instantly asked if you had dome something to provoke them. Even if she was right by not immediately standing on the side of her friend, it still made you angry.

Because you knew, no matter what she did and no matter what Elizabeth did you would never blame them for what happened to them. So, Nancy making you feel validated felt out of place -especially coming from her, but it certainly felt nice.

“I wouldn’t mind them if they weren’t ruthless, in third year this girl- Jean” she said and pointed at a tall girl with blonde hair, you nodded at Nancy words, “Jean cut my ponytail because her boyfriend told her he liked my hair”.

You gasped, earning the attention of close by guests, “She did?”.

“Oh yes, she did it in transfiguration class-“.

“What did Dumbledore do?” you interrupted her.

Nancy swiped the air in front of her, making a deeper effect to her words, “nothing, he just took two points off Gryffindor”.

“I’m starting to think this man purposefully targets Slytherin” you said in a whisper. “Think? My dear be sure, he targets Slytherin and I believe he doesn’t even realize we have two other houses” she joked making you laugh.

You didn’t exactly have the best impression about Nancy Parkinson, she made fun of Elizabeth’s eyebrows, she was nosey, and Eileen disliked her deeply because Nancy made her an outcast. But again, Eileen didn’t like many Slytherins and right now you were still livid at her words so strangely everything she hated felt odd to you.

So, you plucked up the courage and glanced back at Nancy as your laughter quieted down, “Hey” you called, she gazed at you again with her pretty dark eyes. Nancy Parkinson is gorgeous girl, her moon shaped face lit up in curiosity as you cleared your throat.

“Why did you make Eileen an outcast?” you asked.

Her slender finger traced the rim of her glass, “she told you that I made her an outcast?- oh yes she did don’t you lie” (she cut you as you shook your head and parted your lips to deny) “Also no I did not make her an outcast, that is such a lie”.

“Well then, why is she angry at you?”

She took a large sip from the drink, gulped it down and continued, “it happened first year, first day when she sat with me in the carriage, we were talking and excited like any normal first years until some muggle-borns started doing that rude gesture” she mimicked the gesture -pulling the ends of her eyes.

It made you sick to your core, “I didn’t understand the meaning of course, but thank goodness Riddle was there and he explained it to me, I was angry and so I went and hexed them, she got angry and told me not to do that and so as a petty first year I didn’t speak to her and since then she tells everyone I made her an outcast”.

You chose to continue to be quiet, Nancy gazed at you and said, “I don’t know why she is so obsessed about defending muggle-borns when they are clearly in the wrong most of the time”, you agreed to her statement.

When Elizabeth bounced and shook your elbow, she looked at you and said, “Eileen is here to apologize”. Interested, Nancy stepped few feet away but just close enough to hear the conversation.

A sullen Eileen appeared next to Elizabeth, looked at the floor as she murmured an apology. Incoherent but that was the most you would get, it was obvious that Elizabeth had forced her to apologize, which cemented in your head that you were still angry at Eileen.

Still, you said, “It’s fine” and followed the two for the rest of the party. Eileen only glancing at you with curiosity once in a while, Elizabeth attempting to light up the atmosphere by speaking to the important figures that attended as guests. You didn’t mind it, but it made you shift in uncertainty.

You didn’t enjoy being in the presence of adults, it felt as if they were evaluating you and waiting for you to make a single mistake so they could throw an unforgivable curse at you. So you took solace in watching Orion Black and Abraxas Malfoy compete to impress Riddle with their connections.

It was childish, immature and light-hearted, which made you enjoy watching them even more.

And when Riddle dismissed them both away from him, you found another joy in watching a sneaky Slytherin girl pour firewhiskey in her drink, and when getting caught by someone else she would flash them a smile and say that she is a six year so it had to be okay.

You remember seeing her few times around campus -she was in fact a six year- her hair black, short and straight, eyes that glinted in a playful and a mischievous nature with a smile that told you that she was up to no good.

And she was, you enjoyed watching her do many rebellious things that made you sometimes giggle and hide your smile. Until she noticed you and threw you a wink, raised her glass in a triumphant way, her face scrunching at the bitter taste of the firewhiskey.

As the party came close to an ending; the guests circle became smaller with time, you felt pleased to return to your dorm, stare at the ceiling with unspoken words, you felt numb even if there was a tornado of emotions swirling in and giving you many reasons to make you curl into your side and wish to sway into sleep. Still, you were up and faced the ceiling and wondered about a person named Victoria and Tom Riddle nickname to you, and why it pounded a nostalgic feeling to you.

It was a cold November with harsh winds, and Merope was thankful to have a place she called home in such weather. She gazed out the window, distressed and shaken with the fact Victoria was late.

Well, not exactly late but in Merope’s dictionary it was considered late.

Glanced to the clock that showed it was a little after seven, and usually Victoria arrived home at exactly seven. Several concerning scenarios played in her head, which deepened her worry. In the two months that Merope lived with Victoria her routine was charming.

She would wake up early and prepare a filling breakfast to Victoria that got ready to leave for her work, so she could provide for the both of them, her salary wasn’t satisfactory or much, but it was enough to keep a warm meal on the table and a roof over their heads. Then after Victoria leaves for work, she worked in a factory, Merope would clean around and read some of the books she brought from her father’s home, and finally, while waiting for Victoria to arrive she would prepare dinner.

Victoria had to be the best thing that ever happened to Merope, she was certain of this.

Everything about their friendship felt so natural and calming. Merope didn’t feel like she was fooling anyone to like her, Victoria liked her just like that. She had to, because if she didn’t then why would she not complain about her staying home all day while she worked all day?

Victoria had to like Merope, because if she didn’t then why would she invite her to the safety of her home? Why would she insist that she lives with her? Victoria must like Merope. She thought forcefully.

“This is my home! I live with my friend Merope”.

Victoria’s voice came form the entrance. With quick steps, Merope approached the door and watched Victoria enter inside and make way for another person. As Victoria and Merope made eye contact, Victoria flashed Merope a warm and a calming smile while the other woman gave her a tight-lipped and a nervous one.

The person that Victoria invited was a tall lady, and wore a brown coat over her slim figure. Her skin just several shades lighter than Victoria. She had a large smile before it dropped instantly as her eyes fell on Merope.

“This is your friend?”, the woman asked tensely, her hold on her bag tightened while she glanced back to Victoria, “she’s white.” She whispered.

“Good observation, Aisha, but come sit down” Victoria said with a light chuckle and walked inside the tiny apartment and pointed at the sofa with her hand. Slowly, yet still very obviously on edge, Aisha walked to the sofa while glancing cautiously at Merope.

“Merope, come here!” Victoria called and made the other timid woman sit on the armchair, whilst she stood and said, “Merope, this is my best friend Aisha, Aisha this my very good and kind friend Merope”.

Best friend.

Fire expanded inside Merope’s ribcage, as if a volcano erupted and spread all her organs. Detached, lonely and unwanted, she felt all those feelings while she gazed at Victoria sit next to Aisha, her best friend.

She wanted to leave, she didn’t care if she had to go back to her father’s home, she didn’t care about anything, not even the cold. Merope believed that Victoria was her friend, her best friend. That she cared only for her and loved her only.

“I’m going to prepare tea, while I’m away why don’t you two get to know each other more?”, Victoria said and stood up to leave to the kitchenette.

It was a bad decision as Merope and Aisha sat in an inadequate thick layer of silence. Aisha didn’t want to make Victoria feel any more awkwardness, so she said with fake confidence, “Victoria and I have been best friends since we both started working in the factory”.

Jealous and bitter, Merope chose to not communicate. She entertained herself by gazing out the window just beside Aisha’s head. “Victoria told me you don’t work, is it because you’re pregnant? If so, we have lots of pregnant working ladies… you know, the war damaged the economy so everyone is working hard to try and fix it”.

Aisha’s words were resonating to the back of Merope’s head, headache bubbled in her eye sockets. She let a silent exhale then turned to look at Victoria’s back. Happily humming to a tune she heard from the radio.

With a tray of empty teacups and a small plate of plain and cheap biscuits, she placed it on the table before the two women, poured the steaming hot tea into the empty teacups. “Victoria, you know I like to drink my tea bitter- stop it with the sugar now!” Aisha jokingly scolded.

“Don’t act like a grandma now- drink the tea sweet” Victoria attempted to negotiate, dunking a full small teaspoon of sugar in the tea. “You wouldn’t know how a grandma acts, yours died before you could see her” Aisha said.

“Killjoy,” she said with a small grin, faced Merope and asked, “how many teaspoons?”.

Disappointed and angry for many petty reasons, Merope snapped a bit too harsh for her liking, “you know how I like my tea”. As much as it seemed petty, it felt weirdly good for Merope. Even the astonishment and guilt on Victoria’s face felt good.

“Right…Sorry”, Victoria said, Merope glanced at Aisha that narrowed her eyes at her in suspicion.

“Merope, when are you due?” Aisha asked.

“January” Merope replied.

“That’s far, are you planning to get back to work?”.

“Yes”.

“When?” Aisha asked suspiciously.

“Soon” Merope said, sipped from her steaming tea and not caring that it burned her tongue. The lady in front of her burned her heart even more. In those short moments of meeting her, Merope already despises her.

The three ladies sipped their tea in silence, Aisha and Merope judged each other while Victoria sat between their glares uncomfortably. When Aisha glanced at the clock she made a fake gasp, set down the teacup in her hand and stood up, “It’s late, I have to return to my husband at once”.

Startled, Victoria gawked at Aisha and nodded her head at her, “Right, yes… Robert might start to hate me for spending time with his wife more than he does”.

“You know Arthur, he wants to escape my nagging” Aisha said, and it appeared to Merope as if she’s looking down at the two ladies for being pregnant and unmarried. It went unnoticed by Victoria, who laughed feverishly and neatly fixed her skirt. “You have to come and visit sometimes; Emma and Noah keep asking about you” Aisha added, walking towards the door.

“I will! Tell them I said hello” Victoria said, holding the door open for Aisha to walked out. “Will do, see you tomorrow” Aisha gave Merope a small polite smile and walked away, Victoria shut the door with her smile still evident in her face. But it quickly dropped when she saw Merope’s scowl.

“What’s wrong?” Victoria asked.

Merope shook her head, walked towards the living room and took the tray off the table put it in the kitchenette while Victoria followed her, begging for an explanation. “What? Merope at least tell me so I could apologize sincerely”.

“How dare you?” Merope whispered in a deadly tone.

Victoria’s face turned blank and confused, she let a clueless noise as her eyes widened and stared at the livid Merope. “How dare you bring her to our home? And how dare you call her your best friend?! What about me?! Am I just a stranger?”.

“Merope you’re a good friend of mine too-“.

“No! I don’t want that! I should be on top for you just like you’re on top of everyone for me!”.

“I’m sorry I really am sorry-“.

“I don’t want your apology! Pick right now! Either it’s me or her!” Merope screamed, her foot tapped the floor impatiently, eliciting a thumping noise that worsened Victoria’s stress and anxiety. “You’re both very precious and-“,.

“Choose! Me or her!” Merope yelled, Victoria’s eyes filled with tears, a sad frown on her usually joyful and caring face. It looked so pained and hurt that it almost made Merope stop the argument. Adamant about making the woman choose, Merope urged impatiently, “pick right now!”.

“…You” Victoria whispered guiltily.

“I can’t hear you” Merope glared at Victoria, “you, I pick you” Victoria said with a louder voice. Still looking pained and sorrowful, her hands clutching the front of her dress as her head hung low.

Hearing Victoria choose her, Merope anger slightly diffused, and it was replaced with victory. She took closer steps to the pained woman, grasped her hands inside her own and said, “we are soulmates we can’t allow others get in between us, alright?”.

Timid, scared and confused. Victoria muttered hoarsely “alright”.

No matter how much you hinted to Elizabeth that you wanted to spend Christmas over at her home, she only forced a polite smile to you while deeply blushing about the fact that she wasn’t able to invite you. She didn’t explain the reason, which made you believe that her parents refused to let her invite you.

Spending Christmas in Hogwarts didn’t seem like a bad idea, although, spending it alone while Elizabeth and Eileen spent it away attending extravagant parties. You were still furious about what Eileen said to you at Slughorn’s Christmas party, but you decided to let it go and hopefully by the time you see her again you will forget about it.

Something in you told you that what she said shouldn’t be “forgotten”, though you weren’t exactly in the mood to be arguing with her. Especially as you received the news form Professor Merrythought, the head of the Hufflepuff house, “your recent performance in your quizzes has improved, so I think if you continue getting tutelage from Riddle it would be perfect”.

“Ma’am, it’s a vacation” you tried.

“I am going to pretend I didn’t hear what you just said”, Professor Merrythought glared at you over her thin reading spectacles, she flipped over what you assumed was your recent record of quizzes. “Also, (L/N)…” she said and shut the file in front of her, scooted closer to the edge of her seat, with the clasp of her palms together over your files. You knew she was going to ask you something serious.

Nervous was one words to describe you, but, Professor Merrythought was a charismatic and a high-skilled witch. Hell, you may even say that you fear her more than Dumbledore. “Have you thought about your future?”.

Before you could exhale out and shake your head in denial, she narrowed her eyes at you. Feeling your throat dry up, you gulped and cleared your throat, “I don’t know, Elizabeth is elbowing me to head to give up and be a professional quidditch player, Eileen- she is most certainly becoming a potioneer”.

“Thank you for telling me about your friends, (Y/N), I am asking you about you… I mean what do you intend to do?”, she said lastly and finally took off her reading eyeglasses to look you in the eye, “I want you to think about that in our next meeting tomorrow, you’re staying at Hogwarts for Christmas right?”.

You nodded, while she continued, “good, so is Riddle I have already asked Professor Slughorn to speak to Riddle about tutoring you- and oh- miss (L/N)”.

Raising your head to meet her gaze, “in those two weeks I imagine you to work harder to catch up with your peers”.

“Thank you, Professor Merrythought.” You said and finally exited her office, as if a big weight landed in your chest and you were pulled back into the reality of school life. While you had other things to worry about, like Dumbledore finding out everything that happened in the chamber of secrets and throwing you out in the muggle world, that, and you had been anxious about learning about your past. But that didn’t take away the fact that you were obviously still struggling in your classes.

Yes, Riddle teaching you has helped a lot, not to say that McGonagall didn’t help you out but the thing about McGonagall, and you hate to say it let even think about it, is that Malcolm is treating you like someone that is capable of knowing most basic things about magic. Meanwhile that was true in sometimes, it wasn’t right most of the times.

While Riddle tutoring you helped a lot because he treated you like someone who was too foolish to know what lavender thistles did. He treated you like a thoughtless and a clueless creature, which you hate to say it, it worked a lot better. That, and Tom was actually a good teacher.

He used mocking undertones to you, but he did improve your grades and you now have a small glimmer of hope.

But you don’t know what in the world to do with your life, nothing was in your head. You didn’t know what to do, and you didn’t think you had that many options. While Elizabeth thinks you should give up and look at Quidditch, you didn’t have the privilege of having the money to buy your own broomstick to practice or to use in matches, and you need to win in matches to appear to the recruitment agents so you can join any national team.

As you entered the library, you passed the shelves and opted to sit at the table behind the last shelfs. Usually, it had Riddle and his friends; no one ever broke the tradition that this table belonged to Tom. For a reason within you, Tom threats didn’t feel real to you.

Reaching your destination, you placed your books and pulled out a seat and just before you could sit you noticed the pile of books right in front of you. You recognized them, the black journal belonged to Riddle and so did the parchments and the dark thick books.

Curiosity filled you, tipping over to glance at the words in his books.

Dark Arts: Horcruxes to maintain power and repel death.

The book instantly was shut, Tom was there, shutting it from your prying eyes. “What are you doing here?” he asked. You sat in your seat and pointed at the books before you, “Studying, of course”.

He didn’t say anything, but he didn’t sit and you could feel his glare over you as you mindlessly flipped your Potions book. “Why are you here?” he demanded. Exasperated, you snapped “I already told you I’m here to study!”.

“This is not your table, leave”.

“It isn’t your table too” you challenged.

 “I-“ he stopped speaking once he realized how stubborn you were, and that he was wasting his energy, “Do what you want just don’t bother me”.

You wanted to comply to his words but bothering Tom felt so good, so you looked up from your book and asked, “so why do you want to learn about Horcruxes?” he glared at you before returning his gaze to his books.

Pressuring him to have a share in your banter “Are you afraid of death?-“

“The real question is; what the hell do you know about Horcruxes?” he said, folded his hands on top of his books while raising an eyebrow at you. Your playful energy soon left your body, and you began to wonder about his question.

How do you know about Horcruxes?

“Cat got your tongue?” he mocked, sneered at you as you stared at him strangely.

If what Abraxas and Orion told you was right, then you had to be that person they were speaking about. The youngest member of an assassins group, and you must know about Horcruxes because some people feared death.

“No, Tom” you said and dramatically shut your book, “if you forgot I was an assassin, like Abraxas said, that’s why I know what Horcruxes are-“ you pointed at him and smirked, “so now I know that you’re scared of dying”.

“And what are you going to do with that information? Tell everyone that I plan to make Horcruxes?” Tom said, in a quizzing manner as he scooted to the edge of his chair with narrow eyes.

“I’m not a snitch but also, I’m confident you don’t even know anything about Horcruxes this is why you have ten different books on how to make one-“ you interrupted your own speech as you took one surveying look at him, “or several”.

You crossed your legs as you faked confidence to open the same book you have been opening and shutting while arguing with Tom to add the wanted theatrical effect. “You’re mental” he told you before drifting back to his own studies, and soon you found yourself a lot interested about making a sleeping draught.

An advanced potions book slammed next to you on the table, then the seat was pulled out. With mild interest you lifted your eyes to look at the newcomers. Abraxas, Black who were arguing about who sits next to Riddle, Nancy was there too her eyebrows were raised with curiosity at you.

 “Who are you?” a black-haired girl asked, the same one that winked at you in Slughorn’s Christmas party, “that’s (Y/N)” Nancy answered. They sat down and began to chaotically organize their things over the table, but it quieted as Riddle shot them a glare to be quiet.

“The one that hexed Nancy eyebrows” Malfoy added making his friends snort while Nancy rolled her eyes, the strange girl rested her head over her palm and said, “very brave of you to come here after what you did, I like you”.

“Oh shut it Walburga” Nancy said.

Walburga Black, you heard her name few times from Eileen. She greatly disliked her, but you never got a justification on why. Walburga was a very handsome woman, her features were sharp and her jet-black hair with honey streaks reached her jaw, she was tall and slim and had everything Eileen hated.

Beauty, smarts, wealth, reputation, and friends.

“What’s that?!”, Malfoy bounced form his seat quickly and snatched an envelope from underneath Nancy’s papers, she let an annoyed sound as she attempted to take the fancy envelope back, but it got tossed to Orion that tossed it towards Walburga that gladly ripped it open.

“Is this the Potter’s wedding invitation?”, she asked stealing the attention of everyone around the table, you gawked at Walburga then glanced at the invitation. Her words were true, it was a wedding invitation signed towards Nancy Parkinson from Fleamont and Euphemia.

Nancy eyes shifted to look at you, “did you get it too?”.

“No.” you said at once, returning your gaze to your book. “She didn’t tell me anything about a wedding”, you explained and lifted your eyes to lock eyes with an apathetic Tom. Nancy cleared her throat “it’s fortunate that you didn’t get one, the Potters are not a part of the sacred twenty-eight anymore”.

Walburga shook her head, fixed the edge of her robes and explained “Nancy, she is angry that Elizabeth and Eileen didn’t tell her anything even though Eileen got an invitation yesterday-“.

“Eileen got one?” you interrupted Walburga.

The Slytherins excluding Tom affirmed, Walburga said “I saw her give Eileen one before they got inside the train”.

Your throat closed up, your eyes glazed down as they filled up with tears. You were unwanted, unneeded, a mere extra to everyone’s life and someone that could be dismissed and forgotten, your head filled up with similar thoughts as your eyes made it harder to see the words in your book.

You felt too many emotions way too quickly, you were confused and filled with many feelings you couldn’t process and navigate through. In the midst of all of this you were embarrassed about sitting in this table with many witnesses.

Amid your meltdown, a hand slammed your book you lifted your eyes to gaze at Tom. “Where are your friends?” he said harshly, you wanted to scream at him that who you thought were you friends didn’t want you. Too drained to speak, your view dropped to his hands.

Nancy tried to speak, “Tom… that’s a bit harsh-“

He slammed the table again, catching your attention once again. He repeated harsher, and slower, perhaps just to spite you, “where are your useless friends? The same ones you blindly trusted, the same ones you blindly followed. Where are they?!”.

“They’re not useless-“.

“If they weren’t would they lie and hide things from you? Oh you big buffoon”.

“You don’t know anything-“.

“I don’t, but I can very obviously see the facts, you are here, alone while they’re both away possibly laughing and talking behind your back”, he interrupted you harshly.

The image was clear and obvious of Eileen and Elizabeth speaking about you, talking about how much of a fool you were to believe their lies. Were they really your friends?

A sob threatened to leave your throat, a scream followed it but you let it all inside. You were not going to cry in front of Tom, you wouldn’t let that happen, you were never going to cry in front of him.

“My friends stay to spend Christmas with me every year, just because I told them to. You selected those phoney minds to be your friends so now you’re facing your consequences” he said in a deadly tone that you wished to be dead rather than be humiliated and publicly shamed about your choices, especially by Riddle.

You stood up from your seat, turned around and left the library. You didn’t care if you left all of your things there, all you wanted to do was run up to the Hufflepuff dorms, curl up in a ball and read your Alice in wonderland book over your nightstand. You weren’t going to cry about the people you considered to be your friends.

The people who knew how lonely you were better than anyone but still wanted to isolate you.

Elizabeth’s parents weren’t opposed to the idea of her inviting you, if anything; they encouraged her to invite many of her friends so they can attend the wedding as well, and while she was thinking about doing that, she was reminded about the possibility of her developing a crush on you.

But as she glanced over the guests filling the wedding tent, she was certain she made a mistake. Everyone you knew was there, from most Gryffindor students who occasionally talked to you, to the Hornby siblings, whom you both didn’t like very much, to McGonagall family.

What felt like the most wrong thing was that Eileen was standing just next to her, talking about a muggle boy in her hometown. But you weren’t there, and it felt so wrong that it made her sick to her stomach.

“Well, he isn’t what you would consider very good looking but he is very kind to me”, Eileen continued to babble, following Elizabeth that climbed up the stairs of the marvelous Potter mansion. “Do you think I should talk to him once I get back home?” she asked hopefully, obviously only wanting a boost for the decision she was about to do anyway.

“Yeah” Elizabeth said absentmindedly, pacing in the corridor. Concern showing in her features that it stopped Eileen form speaking about her crush, “Elizabeth, what’s wrong?”.

The blonde snapped, “I didn’t tell (Y/N) about the wedding, I didn’t even tell her my brother is engaged and I invited everyone- I even invited guests I didn’t like but I didn’t tell my best friend about it!-“ she slapped her face with both of her hands and turned to gaze at Eileen, hoping the girl would shake some sense to her or reassure her about her decision.

But it didn’t help her much as Eileen only muttered, “Why didn’t you invite her?”.

Elizabeth fingers interlocked together in front of her, she took a closer step to Eileen and turned her head around to look for anyone around her, “I was afraid that if I invite her to stay over with me then I would develop a crush on her- I know it’s stupid but I really didn’t want to ruin yet another friendship because of my stupid feelings”.

She took a sharp inhale, her eyes glossing with anxious tears, “but I think I already ruined it because of what I did now, she might think she is not important to me, and this is why I didn’t invite her”.

“Do you really think she would end a friendship because of something like this?” Eileen asked curiously, she elaborated as Elizabeth rolled her eyes, “We know her, she cannot possibly get angry at you because of something like this”.

Elizabeth stepped away from Eileen, shook her head “this is where you’re wrong, you always think that (Y/N) is some kind of a saint”.

“She’s in Hufflepuff for heaven’s sake, do you really think she wouldn’t forgive you?” Eileen retorted, grasped the anxious Elizabeth from both of her upper arms and dragged her closer to her and whispered, “what friendship did you ruin because of your feelings?”.

As if on a cue, the door in front of the girls creaked open. A stunning girl with dark skin and wide eyes, red lipstick that accentuated her full lips, her nose pierced and had a jewelry that connected to her ear, she wore a red and a gold lehenga, gold jewelry finished her look.

“Lizzie? Can you help me?” her deep voice called, as she lifted the ends of her long skirt.

Elizabeth glanced back to Eileen and whispered, “that one”. Then turned and faced the gorgeous girl, “of course, Effie”. making Eileen nervously watch the blonde walk to Euphemia.

Euphemia was most definitely the prettiest girl Eileen ever seen, and she was certain even with the heavy makeup and jewelry Euphemia would still be the prettiest girl. For a reason, Eileen felt insecure standing in front of the stunning girl in her beautiful dress whilst she wore grey and monochrome robes.

“You must be Eileen! Lizzie told me so much about you, I’m so glad you made it here”, Euphemia said kindly, watching Elizabeth kneel down and help her slip into her high heels. Eileen grinned at her and let out an awkward noise then said, “I have to go and tell everyone the bride is coming”.

“Alright” Elizabeth said, not daring to look at Eileen that now officially knows all of her secrets. Her first love is her brother’s bride, her second crush is you, her best friend. Eileen flashed Euphemia one last polite smile before shuffling down the stairs.

“Lizzie, I’m officially your sister now!” she cheered with fake happiness, she was more nervous than joyful.

“Yeah! I’m really glad” Elizabeth commented, finally stood up and took Euphemia by her hands and whispered nervously, “Let’s go downstairs, sister”. Before the two can descend the stairs, Euphemia stopped holding Elizabeth back with her, “how do I look? Anything that need to be fixed?”.

Elizabeth’s eyes glossed over, gazed into Euphemia gorgeous dark eyes, the same eyes that made her fall deeply in love and knew her better than anyone, yet it was the same pair that made her dread the previous summer. Her hold around Euphemia’s gentle hands tightened, her lips threatened to wobble and prompt her to cry right in front of her first love.

Still, flashes of you laughing inside Elizabeth’s head gave her the strength to hold onto Euphemia and reassure her, “you look beautiful, the prettiest lady in here”.

The two walked down the stairs, Euphemia held onto the railing with her left hand while her right hand tightly gripped onto Elizabeth’s palm. The living room was wide, Euphemia’s parents were there and when they reached. Elizabeth attempted to wiggle her hands out of Euphemia’s hold, but Euphemia said, “I want Lizzie to walk me to Fleamont”.

Her mother tried to debate, “My dear your father-“.

“I want Lizzie, she is my best friend and she introduced me and Fleamont to each other”, Euphemia insisted stubbornly, as her parents’ faces relaxed, she gripped once again onto Elizabeth’s hand, “of course darling”, her mother said.

The bride turned her head to Elizabeth, flashed her a sincere smile and said, “show me the way, sister”.

You missed the Christmas feast, which made you feel even worse about what Riddle said. You wanted to ignore the humiliation you felt, walk straight to the great hall, and not have a single care if they (those who knew about the incident) saw you.

Even though you faked many things, you couldn’t find it in your power to fake strength and indifference. Each time you remember Tom harsh eyes, with his harsh words you can’t help but wish that the ocean would swallow you whole, then perhaps it could cool your heated body.

It was many days after Christmas day, and you missed the Christmas feast. But it didn’t bother you much as much as the presents and letters you received from Eileen and Elizabeth, even Malcolm sent you a present. You were grateful to have sent him a present too, an assortment of candies you got from Honeydukes. You got the same gift for all of them as it was the only thing you could purchase with your limited allowance.

Malcolm sent you a muggle fictional book, you skimmed the back of it and it seemed interesting.

Dear (Y/N),

Merry Christmas! Thank you for the sweets, I enjoyed them very much and I shared some with my little brother, Robert. He will start going to Hogwarts next year!

I hope you like reading the book I sent you. Agatha Christie is a popular author here, she writes murder mysteries and the one I sent you I still haven’t read it but Minerva told me you might enjoy it.

Best luck,

Malcolm

As you flipped through the last page of Alice in wonderland, read through the lines of her waking up from a strange dream, you were startled by the sound of the door squeaking open, you sat up and fixed your posture, your book just beneath your eyes as you watched Professor Merrythought walk inside.

Her bright robes glided over the floor as she approached your bed, “good evening, (Y/N)”.

“Good evening professor” you said and sat on the edge of your bed, “how are you feeling my dear? Me and some others noticed you haven’t left your dorm for the past week”.

Your face heated at the thought of others noticing your actions, your mind spiraled into an abyss, you completely forgot that just because you didn’t show your face, that didn’t mean people will stop speaking about you.

“I was feeling a little tired, that’s all” you said half the truth, she examined you for a second before she said, “would you like to take a walk with me?”. Under her sharp gaze you were suddenly aware with the fact that your hair was a wild mess, you were desperate to make her look at something else or at least leave you alone just so you could tend your hair.

“Yes, of course, I need to get ready though just-“.

“No need” she interrupted you as she swished her wand, your clothes were straightened, and your hair was fixed. “Ready?” she asked, with nothing more to do you left your book and stood up from your bed, “yes”.

With that you two started your journey, left the Hufflepuff common room and walked up the sloping corridor. “How are you adjusting to Hogwarts?” she asked, staring at you with curiosity. Nervous, you gave her a cautious answer, “adjusting well”.

“I can see that, you’re fairly popular” she said. “No I really am not”.

“Of course you do have haters, the muggle born students are giving you a hard time don’t they?” she said, didn’t wait for your answer as she elaborated “racism and bigotry is not tolerated, I punish it instantly”.

Her words were true, she does punish the racism she sees although many of the incidents that occurs to you is in secret. Even the slur word they burned in your skin, you made Madam Pomfrey promise you not to tell Professor Merrythought.

Because if you do speak up, you will be labeled as a coward snitch. And you didn’t want to make a big deal out of it. “Though, I think being the bigger person when any of this occurs to you would be a better answer”.

Those words coming out of her lips made you livid, calming yourself you chose to be quiet as she continued to speak, “if they bully you, don’t stand up to them it will only increase it. Treat them with love and they will see that they are the ones being immature”.

You walked just right by the great hall, noticed the doors wide open as it normally was. You had to confess that finally leaving your dorm was a good idea, and it did inject you with power to face anyone. Although her words to you about the mistreatment you get from the muggle-born students was silly, you didn’t like it and loathed every second.

She must have noticed your silence and uncomfortable aura, so she cleared her throat, “did you think about what you wanted to do in the future?” she asked. Which possibly was the other purpose of her visit to you. Still clueless about your plans, “I did, but I still don’t know what to do”.

You added before she can speak, “I don’t care about what I do, or what job I will end up doing”. Reaching the second floor, she finally said, “how about becoming an Auror?”.

“Auror?” you repeated slowly.

“Yes, you know many defending and offending spells and you have the stealth and physical ability for it” she explained, once her point was delivered she took the other set of stairs leading to the first floor, “you only need five O.W.L.s to be able to sign up to the Auror Academy, the training is a three year you will be given dorms and food while you train”.

Finally, you stepped the last step in the stairs, “it’s tremendously intense, although I know you will be able to make it”.

“I will think about it” you said.

“Very well”.

With that, you parted ways. Truth to be told, you were not sure how someone who used to be an assassin could be an auror. You used to kill people for money, and now you’re supposed to save people to earn money.

You didn’t think it was a bad idea, but you weren’t crazy about it and didn’t think too much about it. You were drowning in your thoughts you barely noticed Malfoy coming behind you, walking quickly and trapping your head underneath his armpit; taking you by surprise as you tried to thrash out of his hold. “Oh, relax we’re not going to bite you” a second voice called and finally caught up to your other side, Orion Black.

 You attempted to threaten them, “If you two don’t let me go-“.

“Miss hitgirl, look at this text and tell us if you recognize anyone”, Abraxas said and shoved a newspaper to your face. The next of the Slytherin gang caught up to you, Walburga, and Nancy but no Tom.

“Are those your classmates?” Parkinson asked as your eyes examined the newspaper, the headline read:

MACUSA outraged by Animagi Uagadou students.

You narrowed your eyes at the smiling faces of the students, the moving pictures had wild animals, but the most obvious thing is those animals were previously humans. “What is this?” you asked, slapping the newspaper away from your face.

The Slytherin gang laughed deeply at you, Malfoy even went as far as to mess with your head, “Wow, I hate to say this but seeing someone this oblivious to the world is really adorable” Nancy Parkinson said, they roared into a wave of laughter again all while they walked you to the direction of what you could presume was the great hall.

“Could someone explain to me?” you asked.

“MACUSA the magical congress decided that teaching animagi at Uagadou is unacceptable, keep in mind they have been teaching this subject for decades so the students-“ he was interrupted by Walburga.

“Thought that transforming in the middle of court to giraffes and elephants and even lions is really funny” Walburga continued.

You had to admit, this was funny so you didn’t fight the smile on your face as you breathed out a quiet chuckle. “It was a fiasco but I suppose it gives MACUSA a real lesson not to mess with other schools businesses” Orion commented, earning a nod from the rest of the gang.

As much as you considered it strange to why they were speaking to you; the Slytherins mostly liked to keep to themselves, and after what happened at the library you thought they would avoid you. But you rather enjoyed being with them, because the thought of having to spend the rest of the Christmas holiday alone made you anxious for a reason, possibly Elizabeth and Eileen letters to you that you were yet to open.

“Where are we going? to the great hall?” you asked. Malfoy who still secured his hold around your head, he answered first “yes, but also we saw Professor Merrythought speaking to you and we got curious”.

“She talked to me about the racism I deal with, told me to kill them with love or something, and suggested I become an Auror”, you said with boredom though your heart lit up when you noticed the Christmas decorations the more you got closer to the great hall. Nancy said, “they’re mean to you, they are the ones that started this mess so it’s only fair we hate them back”.

“That’s what I’m saying” you said, glancing at Malfoy and waiting for him to let go of you so you could walk towards the Hufflepuff table and sit by yourself. However, he didn’t free you from his hold, he dragged you towards the middle of the Slytherin table and made you sit in between him and Nancy.

And it seemed like the others didn’t mind your presence either. You felt like an odd puzzle piece infiltrating a perfect picture, “when is the Potters wedding?” Walburga mindlessly asked, taking a portion of shepherd’s pie. “Two days ago? I think” Nancy responded.

“Why aren’t you going?”, you asked, stared at the empty cutlery in front of you. Slightly cautious that if you got a bit comfortable then they would kick you out, or if Riddle appeared he would kick you out.

Nancy stared at you while munching, narrowed her eyes and frowned, obviously having an answer but not wanting to open her mouth while she’s eating. Orion beat her to it; earning a kick in the shin from Nancy, “she is jealous of Potter”, he got another kick.

Abraxas chuckled, shook his head and answered for Nancy, “our families,“ he pointed around the table, “aren’t on good terms with the Potters, but it’s still strange how Nancy got an invitation when none of us didn’t”.

“Miss Potter obviously chatted with her mother about you, and so her mother thought that you were a friend which is strange because you are a Parkinson” Walburga said. “Maybe, we are both chasers in Quidditch and she probably badmouthed me to her mother” Nancy finally said and chuckled.

As the rest of the table chuckled, you awkwardly played with your cutlery and glanced at the entrance of the great hall every once in a while, making a mental plan of escaping with seeing Riddle.

It was ridiculous to you that you were thinking about this, you wanted to scream at him and tell him to speak to you with more respect but you knew in an actual argument with Riddle, he would win and you didn’t want to further humiliate yourself.

You annoyed him greatly and knew exactly what to say to tick him off but that only because he obviously gave you time to speak, you knew in a real argument with him he wouldn’t give you time to speak and would make you say a jumbled mess of words that would make you look silly. Just like in the library. “Hey Tom” Orion greeted.

Your eyes widened as you wondered how in the world did he appear? Your eyes glanced at the entrance every five seconds, you would have spotted him if he did come from there. Your wonders were answered as Professor Slughorn appeared behind him, coming from the teacher’s private door.

“good afternoon, Mr Malfoy, Mr & Miss Black and our dear Miss Parkinson- Oh! Miss (L/N) you are here too!” Slughorn cheered, Tom sat next to Orion diagonally from you. “Oh well! Enjoy your dinner!” he said and bid them goodbye as he walked out of the great hall, using the large entrance this time.

Your body heated, and stilled while your eyes were stuck watching the empty plate in front of you. The table returned to silently eating, and you took it as your cue to leave. Which was upsetting because sitting with them, excluding Tom certainly, made you feel much better.

Lifting your thighs off the table, Abraxas and Nancy noticed that and the blond asked, “where are you going?”.

Before you can reply with a lie, Tom said, “let her be, she’s too low and slow to be sitting here”. In a fit of rage, you dropped back down on the bench, scowled at him. He lifted his head to look at you, the usual indifference and uninterest.

“Look at her plate, she’s not even eating because she knows she’s too low to deserve eating. What did you do today? Sleep around and be lazy all day?” he said, returned his eyes to look at the plate. “No, Tom, I was studying” you angrily said, taking portions of food and placing them on your empty plate.

Amused, the rest of the table stopped everything and watched the exchange between you and Tom. “Really? Okay,” he said and looked at you and asked, “name three ingredients in a Polyjuice potion?”.

“Lacewing flies, leeches and knotgrass” you confidently said, but quickly lost the confidence because no one said a word. Until Abraxas chuckled, hit your back a bit harshly for your liking, “correct!”.

“Does the legacy of a stupid (Y/N) end?” Orion asked dramatically, making the rest of the table laugh even Tom gave half a smile. “How is Cygnus?”, Tom asked Walburga, the girl sighed and said, “He is alright but Druella is still frustrated because her wedding was ruined by Prince”.

You remember Eileen saying she hexed Druella in her wedding, didn’t elaborate on it so you asked “Eileen?”.

“Yes, she hexed her wedding dress to have spiders it was a mess and the whole wedding was ruined so after it we decided to cut out the Prince family off our lives” Walburga said, Nancy gave you a certain look that clearly told you: See? She brings the hate to herself.

Sitting timid and going over those two girls you considered friends, it also reminded you of the letters they sent you that arrived on Christmas day along their presents. You didn’t want to open them, and you didn’t want to see them again, at least not yet.

“Professor Merrythought told miss hitgirl to become an Auror” Abraxas told Tom, glancing between you and him. “She is too stupid to even try-“.

“All I need is five O.W.L.s and Merrythought told that I already have the physical and stealth needed to survive the training, I will become an Auror” you stated proudly.

“Merrythought is the same person that says kill your enemies with kindness, you don’t get to say what she thinks” Tom said sarcastically, and although what he said was supposed to degrade you it was fairly funny.

She is famous for her reputation about ‘being the bigger person’. Which was a load of rubbish coming to students that were suffering every single day because of torments. “Right”, you said and chuckled.

The table broke into individual conversations and Abraxas leaned closer to you and whispered in your ear, “good to have you here, miss hitgirl”. It made you feel welcome and reminded you that you no longer feel like an odd piece of puzzle in a perfect picture.

Maybe this current circle was supposed to be the circle you ought to join. Even if Tom Riddle agitated you. Lifting your head to look at him, just to analyze him. You got startled seeing he was already staring at back; you couldn’t figure him out. Truly, you couldn’t understand the meaning behind the mesmerizing emerald eyes of his.

Tom Marvolo Riddle, who the hell are you and why does the sound of your name move something inside of me?  You thought, seeing his eyes glimmer faintly with surprise before he detached his gaze away from you.

Chapter Text

Since the moment you got up from your bed to empty your bladder, you couldn’t close your eyes and drift to sleep, all the exhaustion that was once in your body flew out the moment you returned to your bed. You were feeling energetic that you could run a marathon.

You contemplated about completing the last pages of your Alice in wonderland book, it was only three pages left and for a reason you didn’t want to finish the story and shut the book just yet. So, you either never finish it or reach to a certain page and re-read it. Instead, you decided to check out the book Malcolm sent you.

As you stood up and shuffled in your dorm room, the sun rose and it was like one of those special mornings that your mood was lifted, though you weren’t going to lie; the sight of Elizabeth and Eileen letters brought you a wave of sadness. Still, it was a pleasant morning full of possibilities and chances.

So, you quickly got ready for the day and decided to head the headmaster office and make a quick visit to the sorting hat. Maybe, just maybe it would tell you what it witnessed inside your head and memories. You didn’t quite understand the sorting in Hogwarts, but you heard that the sorting hat gets inside your thoughts and you wondered if it was able to see your memories as well.

Still, with high spirits you fixed your hair and headed out the Hufflepuff common room. The second you exited you realized you were clutching your Alice in wonderland book, you groaned and decided to take it with you anyways instead of going back to your dorm. Feet tapping lightly as you watched some of the ghosts hover, when you reached the great hall you could see the plates were still unplaced, so you skipped having an early breakfast and continued your journey to the headmaster office.

To be frank, you weren’t scared or worried about sneaking in or out, you weren’t doing anything wrong and you could simply pretend to be overwhelmed about the fact you have no idea of yourself. Because Headmaster Dippet wasn’t like Professor Dumbledore.

Headmaster Dippet had a disposition of a fool, someone you can trick if you were a good actor. That, you weren’t sure if you were one, but perhaps you could shed a tear or two to thicken your emotions before delivering it to him. A poor, a helpless child that just wants to know more about their good memories.

You reached the swirling hippogriff statue, so you knocked it and waited patiently for it to open for you. When it did, you stepped inside and it elevated you inside the Headmaster office. With your best troubled expression you walked towards his office.

“He’s not here”, a portrait of a knight told you, “he allowed you to come inside and rushed to the rest room, he told me to tell you to wait”.

With a quick gratitude you walked towards the sorting hat, and said, “rise and shine!”.

“Is it another sorting already?”, it said.

“No but I need you to tell me what you saw in my head,” you said, placed it over your head and thought clearly so it can only hear you without the portrait of the nosey knight. “Tell me about my memories, even my bad memories”.

“Are you sure? It seemed very painful and you seemed like you suffered a lot”.

“Yes I’m sure! Tell me please”.

“If you insist”.

Your head blanked, everything around you seemed to slow down as if you had left your body. Then with a quick ear piercing headache your sensation and awareness of your body and surroundings returned.

Now, you were aware of few things.

1. You killed someone.
2. You tortured many people.
3. You miss someone deeply.

The first and second fact, you were certain of them but the fact that you only killed one person brought solace to your heart. Now, you ought to live a lot better now and free of guilt; killing one person is better than killing many.

The third one confused you, because you were thinking about a mysterious person that tugged your heartstrings but you didn’t know who it was. You missed them so deeply that your throat closed up and your tear ducts burned.

“Put me down please, your emotions are strong it is affecting me too!” the sorting hat shouted, you instantly placed it down and glanced around you. The portrait of the nosey knight was watching you intently. Suddenly aware of your tear, you wiped it away and forced a grin, “I just remembered that Professor Merrythought could help me with the issue”, you lied.

Quickly shuffled inside the statue of the hippogriff and waited for it to let you down, as you appeared behind it you picked up your pace.

You were confused, and frustrated, your heart aching for many reasons you didn’t know. You were confused because who were you missing? Frustrated because you didn’t know them and it affected you so much.

“Pull yourself together”, you hissed, clinched your fists and breathed in and out to calm your racing heart. When you calmed down you walked towards the Hufflepuff common room, to waste time and wait for breakfast.

Walking through the empty castle calmed you a lot, though your heart pace quickened when you noticed something moving from your peripheral. You stopped walking and turned to look at it, the shadowy figure stopped moving as well as it faced you and walked towards you.

“Oh, (Y/N), it’s you” Abraxas voice said.

Relief fluttered over your heart, forced a grin but it quickly dropped seeing his anxious look. “What’s the matter?” you asked.

He shook his head, crossed his arms over his chest and walked to what you imagined to be the great hall, “I was sleepwalking, I found myself in the astronomy tower I only woke up because it was cold” he said.

Quickly, you took off your scarf and wrapped it over his neck, then your robe and placed it over his shoulders “astronomy tower? What were you dreaming of?”.

He smiled a bit at your kind gesture, but still accepted the warm scarf, and your robe “it was this crazy dream of me fighting a dragon, strangely, you were in it” he casually said, taking his usual seat by the Slytherin table you followed and sat next to him.

“Me? What was I doing?” you said and hoped to start a conversation with the blond boy. You were thankful to find that the plates in the dinning table appeared the second you two sat down. He warmed his fingertips on the teacup.

“You were riding the dragon, Nancy was yelling at you to get down and Walburga was laughing at the situation- of course, Orion was trying to protect Tom” he said, you couldn’t help but laugh at his words. “That is a strange dream!”.

“Oh no- I shouldn’t have told you, my grandmother said you shouldn’t tell about scary dreams or they might become real” he said, tapped his mouth with his palm few times before sipping on his tea. “But again my grandmother is as mental as the divination Professor”.

That made you laugh again, he soon joined you.

“Why are you up so early? You’re even dressed, you can’t possibly be sleepwalking” he said, taking another quick sip of his tea. Which brought the attention to the fact that he was clad in his pajamas, and barefoot, while you were fully dressed in your robes.

“I couldn’t sleep so I thought about going to the headmaster so he can do something about my memory loss issue” you said, not fully lying but still hiding some truths, “but he wasn’t there, so…” you said, finger tracing the rim of your teacup.

Abraxas gave you a sympathetic look before saying with a shrug, “as far as you know, your memory loss could be a good thing”.

“Well, yeah, but it’s frustrating not to know a single thing about yourself and living every day finding out new things you hate about yourself and your world but not one thing that you deeply and sincerely love” you said, quickly realizing how dark your words said and immediately regretted saying them, you eyed Abraxas cautiously but his expression was unpredictable.

“That’s not true, you deeply and sincerely enjoy having a known presence” he said with a small smile. “I do?”.

He gave you a look of disbelief, before giving you a furious nod, “yes!” he said with a tone that told you it’s something you should’ve already known. “That is a lie” you said shaking your head and laughing as you took a sip of the tea.

“Oh yes you do, this is one of the main reasons you’re fairly popular and- oh don’t give me that look you are popular!” he pointed at your face, but quickly jumped on his explanation, “you have a charismatic aura, you don’t let anyone mess with you and you are very sarcastic”.

Then he took a large sip of his tea that is now empty, but he filled the cup again anyways, “overall you have a very impressive and a strong personality, qualities we all respect and admire” he said the last pit pointing at the unassigned but designated seats of the group you have been hanging out lately.

Abraxas made you feel relaxed, and welcomed, it didn’t feel as if you were fighting to fit and swim with the tide but rather you were being welcomed by it. You didn’t exactly start on good terms with Abraxas like you did with Eileen and Elizabeth. And something in you told you it’s good like that. So you weren’t scared to ask him what you have been fearing lately.

“Do you feel like I’m trying too hard to have friends here?”.

He didn’t take too long to respond to you as he instantly said, “oh yes, but I would say only the first weeks of being here which I understand not wanting to be alone at first. But admit it, you were forcing yourself to be a different person with Prince and Potter,”.

“But then you got better, it’s not so bad being by yourself you know” he ended.

Finally, the food appeared on the plates so you didn’t waste another moment and poured cold milk over your cereal, “my uncle told me that a muggle doctor invented cereal because he thought it made teenagers not want to masturbate” he casually said, making you choke.

You tapped on your chest couple times, accepted the cup of water he handed you and chugged it carefully, “why would- you know what I’m not even going to ask” you said, ignored his laughing and peacefully ate your cereal, though you had to admit after his words it made you a bit disgusted by the idea behind it. So you turned and faced him before you could open your mouth he interrupted you, “I was just joking”.

“Oh thank you, that really did disturb me”.

“Well I wouldn’t even know if it’s true or fault” he said with a shrug, took a bite of his muffin but quickly regretted it as his eyes landed on a figure behind you. Following his eyes, Riddle was there, fully dressed as well and holding his usual journal in his hand, the new thing about him was the dark circles under his eyes; you wanted to ask but decided to shrug it off.

Tom Riddle presence was strong and charismatic like the usual, your heart raced seeing him, and even though he only spoke rude remarks to you, you still enjoyed him being around you. Was it his handsome face? Or his admirable personality that demanded respect and attention? You weren’t sure, but nevertheless you took pleasure in watching him and listening to his smooth voice.

“Good morning” you greeted, he muttered few words that possibly meant a good morning to you too. Then he glanced at Abraxas, took his seat in front of you before turning to look at your blond neighbor, “Abraxas go brush your fucking teeth I can smell your breath from here”.

You rolled your eyes at his rude remark, but didn’t say anything as you waved to Abraxas that awkwardly left his seat to go and get ready for the day, his half-eaten muffin inside his hand. Tom silently began eating, you decided to do the same but stopped as an owl fluttered to you.

A snow white owl landed on the table, just next to your cereal bowl, you recognized as Elizabeth’s owl, your heart pace went crazy as you witnessed a red envelope tied to its leg with another beige envelope.

Tom eyebrows rose in interest upon seeing the red envelope that you untied from the owl leg, staring at you down as his cup hid the lower part of his face, although, he looked very interested in the red envelope. A howler, it buzzed furiously so you didn’t waste another second and opened it.

“(Y/N)!” the letter shouted, you covered your ears as Tom impatiently waited for it to rip itself. Your heart drummed through your whole body “read our letters! And reply to us! Hogwarts Owls are not slow so you cannot lie about the owl not delivering our replies!”, the red paper shoved close to your face. You slapped it away from your face, returned your hands to cover your ears, you wanted the screaming to stop.

“Reply to us or I will send daily howlers!”, it finally screamed louder than anything else, echoing through the empty great hall, your body convulsed in fear. Finally, it ripped itself, some papers got into your cereal. Horrified and ashamed, you looked up at Tom, “don’t you say anything”.

“I wasn’t going to, but now I feel like I must share my thoughts” he said, frowning as he said, “do your supposed friends respect you? Sending a howler and embarrassing you in such a public place, are they really your friends?” he said, his tone wasn’t condescending like the usual but it seemed to be of concern, shinning sincerely in his eyes and if you squinted your eyes better you could see glints of anger there.

“At this point I don’t even know, I think I was too desperate for friends that I just accepted the first hand that waved to me” you said, shrugging and sighing, “but then it’s very obvious they don’t want me, and I already feel left out”.

“And also they might be doing all this show because of the guilt” he said, referring to the red pages on your cereal that you pushed away from you. He was right, the guilt probably ate them up that they decided to annoy you into speaking to them.

Sitting in silence, you opted to have pancakes instead of the now tinted cereal. “You finished reading that?” he suddenly said, you glanced at where he looked, your Alice in wonderland book that you keep forgetting you brought with you. “I think so, I keep rereading it and never getting to the last pages”.

He hummed, eyes tracing to his bowl as he said with a low voice, “I used to know someone just like you, never liked finishing books because she thought it meant she leaves their world forever”.

“She isn’t completely wrong, I feel that way too” you said.

“Of course you do” he murmured, grinned to himself as if it was an inside joke, one that you didn’t think too much about. “Why are you up so early?” he asked, masking his grin perfectly as if it wasn’t there in the first place.

“I was trying to find out more about my memories so I went to the sorting hat to ask it what it saw in my brain” you answered, took a bite of your pancakes.

He remained silent, still staring at you and you felt awkward about chewing. He expected an elaboration, so you quickly swallowed the bite and said, “it’s not that important”.

Tom looked to the side, scoffed in incredulity and returned his attention to you, “just tell me” he demanded.

You forced a defeated sigh, but gladly told him anyways, “apparently I tortured many people, killed one person and I deeply miss someone, deeply miss them that just thinking about them makes my heart flutter- feel empty and full at the same time, why am I even telling you this” you quickly stopped your rant.

“Only one? I thought you were a professional slayer” he said.

“Oh my are you actually disappointed that I only slayed one person?” you said, took another bite of your pancakes, “how come you’re not disappointed for killing someone?”.

“If I get sad for every soul that gets killed then I wouldn’t be able to live on, I only care about those I like” you said simply, glaring up at him. Strangely, he agreed to you with a nod which made you feel more confident.

Though you hated how a mere affirmation from him could elevate your mood. Soon, Abraxas returned but this time with Nancy and Walburga, the latter still yawning but still waved at you while Nancy took her seat next to you, gazing at the letters on your table with interest.

Abraxas shared the interest too, asked as he sat next to Riddle, “well? Did you read them?”.

“Not yet” you said.

“They’re from Potter and Prince” Nancy commented, flipping the two envelopes in her hand. Enthusiastic, Walburga bounced from her seat next to you; Riddle placed his books next to him, he didn’t like it when the crazy Walburga sat next to him as she moved a lot.

As she bounced off her seat, she snatched the letter from Nancy’s hands. Totally ignoring Abraxas’s and Nancy’s scolding and yelling as she opened them. Running even to not allow Abraxas to snatch them from her, “Walburga you’re insane! Those are private matters!” he yelled.

“Which is why it’s more interesting!” she gushed, still avoiding Abraxas. “Dear (Y/N), blah blah blah….”, she ripped the letter in half in disinterest. Making the blond boy and the dark haired girl opposite you gasp in shock.

“Walburga!” Nancy shouted.

Walburga innocently sat back down, “it wasn’t a really exciting letter”, she waved her hand to you. “That was insanely rude!” Nancy hissed. Although you were supposed to be upset, about her violating your privacy and ripping the letters in half, it didn’t bother you much. In fact, it took a giant load off your chest that it made you feel lighter just thinking you don’t have to read through them.

And the fact that you would probably be the one considered to be wrong for ignoring their letters. It was much better that Walburga did what she did. The older girl ignored Nancy and Abraxas scolding her, she glanced at you finally noticing your look. “What?” she said.

“Thank you for that, can I hire you to read all their letters and decided whether I should read them or not?” you said. Nancy and Abraxas shared looks of disbelief, Tom looked indifferent like usual. Happy and relaxed, Walburga grinned at you and said, “that would be my absolute pleasure”.

Ignorance is a bliss after all, maybe those letters were just making excuses upon excuses that you loathed and would put you in an awkward situation, their excuses would bring guilt to you and you would be the one that would have to apologize for feeling left out, and that didn’t seem very fair to you. Best to ignore, you told yourself.

“Good morning everyone! Today is a brilliant day, isn’t it?” Orion greeted as he approached the table, you could notice a light bounce in his steps. He sat next to Riddle, happily said, “Happy Birthday, Tom!”.

Your eyes widened in shock, you never imagined that he actually had a birthday and was a normal human that celebrated birthdays like normal people. “You already told me last night at exactly midnight” Tom said, now you knew the reason for the dark circles underneath his eyes.

“Happy birthday Tom” Nancy said, a small grin on her lips.

“You’re the same age as me! Happy birthday” Walburga said happily.

“Thanks” Tom simply said, Abraxas said, “Happy birthday, again”.

“Thank you”.

You felt so awkward being the only one not uttering a word. Orion gave you a long look, obviously urging you to say something nice too. So, you cleared your throat and said, “so you’re a human after all, I thought you’re the spawn of the devil”.

Walburga snorted her coffee, Abraxas looked away as his shoulders shook as he secretly chuckled. Nancy glared into her cereal, successfully hiding her face with her dark long locks. Orion tried to scold you, “(Y/N), that is so disrespectf-”.

“I take that as a compliment” Tom said, forcing a passive aggressive smile.

“All jokes aside, happy birthday” you said, still remembering the fact that even though he wasn’t exactly the nicest person to you. He wasn’t two faced, well, at least towards you. and you liked that very much, aside from the good deeds he occasionally does to you, being a good tutor to you and not kicking you off the Slytherin table when you hang out with his friends. The evidence is obvious, he didn’t say anything after last night’s dinner or today’s early breakfast, with you joining them in their hang outs.

“Thank you” he said.

Orion clapped his palms together; catching everyone’s attention, “let’s do something fun today! We could sneak to Hogsmeade, or we could have a small party in the common room-“, he was interrupted by an excited Walburga.

“We can ride our broomsticks to Hogsmeade! Or have a picnic!”.

“In the middle of winter? You are crazy” Nancy said, shaking her head.

Orion rolled his eyes, “well don’t be a killjoy and let us do something fun-“.

“I don’t want a celebration, I won’t accept any gifts,” you noticed Orion eyes widen as he shuffled something inside his robes, “I don’t want to do anything special all I want is to study”.

Abraxas frowned, and said “Why not? It’s you birthday we should-“.

“Tom said he doesn’t want a celebration, so we won’t” Orion pressured on Abraxas with a glare. You were confused, so you affirmed Abraxas’s statement, “just now you said you want to do something special-“.

“Tom is right, celebrating aging is stupid and we shouldn’t do it, ugh Abraxas don’t tell me you got Tom a gift, you should have known that celebrating a birthday is ridiculous!” Orion said, blushing hard.

“It’s not about that, we have O.W.L.s we have to study instead” Tom finally explained, making Orion blushing cheeks into an impossible shade of tomato red, “I didn’t say birthday parties are stupid, I love birthday parties and I love the fact that we celebrate about aging-“ Orion babbled.

“Orion, shut it, we know you have a crush on Tom and no personality” Nancy said.

The blushing boy pressed his lips together in a thin line, face turning redder as he continued eating his breakfast. “(Y/N) let’s go get our things to study” Abraxas told you, as you noticed everyone but you had their satchels full with their supplies except you and Abraxas, you nodded and stood up.

Not forgetting to take your Alice in wonderland book or the ripped letters, you and Abraxas exited the great hall. You were very grateful that Abraxas indirectly invited you to the group study session. In fact, he was the most welcoming not, not like the others were unwelcoming, but he was the most consistent one in making you join the circle in the group activities.

He was earnest and sincere that it didn’t feel like pity invitations, especially after your question to him earlier. Abraxas Malfoy wasn’t the same bad person you painted him to be. Truth to be said, you only disliked him because Eileen didn’t like him. After finding out the two sides of the whole story of why Eileen didn’t like half of her house, you learned that the Slytherins weren’t that bad, and that Eileen had a victim mentality.

First, she hexed someone on their wedding, which was something you were going to investigate more about.

Second, she always defended the terrible muggle-borns and blamed everything on her friends. Told Nancy that she possibly seduced Jean’s boyfriend and that was why she cut her hair. Told you that you did something to deserve getting called a slur and getting it burned on your skin.

She wasn’t as innocent as you first imagined her to be.

You glanced at the letter in your hand, accidentally read the word,

Not my fault that you-

You tucked the letter away, no wonder Walburga ripped it in half. You forced yourself to look at Abraxas. Shimmering blond hair that reached the middle of his back, wide blue eyes, and pale skin. “Oh right!” he said, stopped and unwrapped your scarf from around his neck, wrapped it around your neck, your robes were on his arm he straightened it and draped it over your shoulders just like you did to him earlier.

“Do you like muggle books?” Abraxas asked, pointing at your book. “I think I do? I’m not sure, I didn’t read magical fictional books yet-“.

“Why not?”.

“I don’t know where to start” you said.

“Don’t you worry about that, if you like thriller books then read Smith’s books but if you like thrillers then I would suggest- Thiquehead’s books my favorite is Fire in my heart, it’s my absolute favorite book it’s about this princess falling in love with a merman”.

Intrigued, you said, “tell me more”.

His jaw pointed at the Hufflepuff barrels, “get your supplies first and then I will tell you”.

“Alright, I will meet you by the first moving stairs then. “

“Great!” he said, jogging down the hall and taking another set of stairs leading to the Slytherin’s dungeons. While you knocked on the barrels, entered the empty common room.

By the time you finished stuffing your supplies, ten minutes passed, and you wondered if Abraxas would have finished getting his things too. So, you quickly left the Hufflepuff common room, left the long corridor leading to the Hufflepuff and Slytherin dormitories.

“Alright so Fire in my heart-“ you flinched seeing Abraxas, “sorry” he apologized with a grin but stepped on the same step of the moving stairs as you, “you were saying?” you asked.

“Fire in my heart is about this princess, I would say her personality is a bit delicate but still strong- of course she would be because she’s the heir, so this princess is expected to be cold hearted but one day as she’s sailing to another kingdom she falls into the sea, a merman helps her”.

“Is she a witch?” you asked.

“Yes! But the main thing is that she can’t use her magic underwater so she can breathe or use it on the merman because mermaids and mermen are immune to magic” he shortly explained.

“We can’t use magic underwater and mermaids are immune to magic? Is this actually true?” with a frown you asked, you saw the library get closer as you two walked. “You can use magic underwater and mermaids are not immune to magic, my stupid bully of a cousin hexed a mermaid underwater and now that mermaid never comes close to the Slytherin common room”.

“What? why would mermaids be in the Slytherin common room?”.

Entering the library, Madam Pince gave a harsh hush as her index pointed at her lips. Abraxas whispered, “In our common room we have a large see-through wall and you can see the depth of the black lake, there are mermaids there you know”.

You two neared the designated Slytherin table, “really? That’s crazy!” you hissed.

“I know! It’s really interesting, Walburga and I learned mermaids sign language so we can talk to them” he boasted gleefully. You would have never guessed that Malfoy learned sign language to communicate with the mermaids. Which thickened a lesson in your head, never to trust a book by its cover.

Walburga called, “Abraxas my clueless student!” she patted the seat next to her, had a copy of History of magic wide open with a smirk on her lips. The blond sighed but complied anyway.

“(Y/N), sit here” Tom called you, pointed at a seat next to him, “I have a pop quiz for you”.

He handed you a paper, you organized your things over the table. Nancy sat opposite you, frowning as the end of her quill scratched her head.

Abraxas sat on your other side, all ears to Walburga explaining History of magic to him. Orion next to Nancy whilst he furiously scribbled answers on the mock tests given to him by Tom. The mock quiz, luckily, wasn’t hard. You knew all the answers. Which made you more confident about your skills.

As you finished, you gave the paper to Tom. He took the quill from between your fingers, “it is not that hard, even for your stupid brain to write a full explanation on why moon lilies are used in this potion” Tom said, scratched your short answer as he gave you the quill he snatched from you.

Not clearly elaborating on your answer, in your opinion, was an improvement from not having an answer at all.

“Fine,” you said and scribbled a new answer, this time it had a longer explanation then you pushed the parchment for him to see. “Acceptable” he said, then returned to underlining passages for you. In that period you turned around to gaze at the rest of the table.

Abraxas staring with slight confusion at Walburga’s explanation, but still nodding along as she spoke. Orion still finishing up the mock tests, finally you gazed at Nancy, who caught your look, she seemed to be waiting for you to look at her.

“What are you going to do about Prince?” she asked.

Orion scribbling and Walburga hushed explanations stopped; everyone in the table turned to look at you with interest. You were afraid about the answer you had in mind; you weren’t going to do anything. “Even if you hex her I wouldn’t mind, she had it coming” Walburga said.

“You seem to have lots of…negative feelings about her” you told Walburga. “Of course, I do, Cygnus is my brother and she ruined a whole wedding for no reason” the charismatic girl replied almost instantly.

“And he is my cousin” Orion said, “you two are related?” you pointed at Orion and Walburga. The boy gave a sigh, whilst Walburga palmed her face and directed a stressed sigh to herself. “Don’t mind them, their families just want them to get married you know” Abraxas explained to you.

“Oh my!” you gasped; Nancy hid her chuckle, “I would rather cut my arm and chew it” Orion hissed. “I would rather kill an owl” Walburga said, crossed her arms and looked away in distaste. “Speaking of your parents it does make me very grateful that my mum wants me to remain single forever and get a job at the ministry” Nancy stated, her head resting on her palm.

“That’s actually quite nice” Abraxas commented, “though I do have an embarrassing wish, I want to be a part of a big family”.

Walburga and Orion physically shuddered, “if your hair was orange I would have mistook you for a Weasley” the latter of the two said. “Piss off you two, it is so hard being an only child” Abraxas said with a thick blush on his ears. “(Y/N) agrees with me, it gets lonely as an only child doesn’t it?” he added, looking eager to include you in the conversation.

You gave him an awkward grin and said, “I’m adopted and I don’t have nay memories prior to this year… I’m not much of a help”, his face fell as Walburga laughed loudly at his expression, it was loud that you were certain that Madam Pince would appear any minute now to hush you all.

“Nancy?” Abraxas attempted to urge the girl.

“Well, I am not an only child as you recall” she glanced at you and elaborated shortly, “I have an older sister and an older brother” then turned her attention to Abraxas, “but they’re both married and surely it gets lonely without them, doesn’t it?” he pressured.

Nancy flipped her long sheet of raven hair behind her shoulder, it shined gorgeously, and you were mesmerized by it. “I do miss them sometimes” she said with a sad glint to her eyes, though it quickly switched to rage as she added “but I hate children and I hate it when they make me babysit their children.” She finally stated with a gentle slam to the table “I do not wish to have a child and I never will”.

Silence enveloped the table as nothing more needed to be said, Orion gazed absent-mindedly at Tom that silently worked on writing a passage, Abraxas puckered his lips together and played with the cuffs of his robes, Walburga returned her eyes to you.

Anxious that she would redirect the conversation back to where it was, about Eileen. You turned to face Tom and asked, “what about you? anything about your family?”.

His hand stopped moving, without lifting his eyes he said, “I told you that I live in an orphanage”.

“I know that, silly, I was asking about the people there, they’re still your family” you said simply. Your words made the table tense up as Tom lifted his eyes to shoot you a glare, it made you feel uneasy and uncomfortable as you figured you picked the wrong words. Before you could part your lips to apologize, he beat you to it.

“They are not my family”, he said with a strong and a cold tone.

“I am sorry” you apologized sincerely.

Still scowling at you, he returned his attention to his papers. Your blood ran cold, and your heart beat faster, an uncomfortable and a thick layer covered the atmosphere with Tom’s anger. To lighten up the mood a bit, Nancy showed you her paper and asked you, “can you explain this spell to me?”.

“What’s the spell?” you asked, leaning closer to peek at her book.

“The permanent Furnunculus spell” she quickly answered.

You grinned largely and said proudly, “good for you I use this spell almost daily, those muggle borns need to be put back in place-“ those around the table chuckled, excluding Tom. But it felt quite satisfying to make people laugh.

It made you excited and keen to do just anything to make them continue to laugh, “Here, you do this- upwards motion and then in a circular motion like this way and you say the spell very clearly, Furnunculus!”.

You said, distracted by their giggled and not noticing where your hand was pointing at. Though you quickly returned your gaze back at the tip of your wand when Nancy and Orion gasped, followed by Walburga and Abraxas leaning over and gasping as well.

“(Y/N) I will murder you!” you heard Tom whisper.

Slowly you turned to face him, his beautiful face was covered by boils in every spot you can see. Dropping your wand to the table as you covered your gasp and immediately got up from your seat, “I’m so sorry-“.

“Are your eyes stabled shut?! Where is my wand? Where is my wand?!”, he yelled, Madam Pince quickly walked over upon hearing the commotion, “(Y/N)! fix it!” Orion yelled at you, violently shaking your shoulders as he pointed at Tom.

Anxious, you raked your head trying to remember the counterspell, “ah- I think it was- I don’t know I don’t know!” you screamed at Orion.

“Everybody calm down!” Madam Pince screamed, trying to make Walburga stop laughing. “Calm down it’s just boils!”, the librarian tried to calm Orion down with her words, which only made his meltdown become worse.

“It’s not any boils! Permanent boils that ruined Tom perfect face!” Orion dramatically yelled.

“Nancy! What’s the counterspell in the book?!” Abraxas shouted, Walburga loudly laughed while continuously slapping your shoulders. It was ultimate chaos, everyone yelling at you and Orion shaking you as hard as he could, Nancy quickly flipping through the pages of her book looking for a counterspell, but she only got more stressed as she cried, “if it doesn’t get removed within five minutes it will be permanent!”.

You swore your head throbbed in pain and their voices echoed in the back of your head, you could feel stress vanishing all your senses and it all felt like an out of body experience. At last, in the middle of the crying and yelling -including Madam Pince- Tom took your wand from the table, swished it in his own face and the boils instantly disappeared.

“You all are a bunch of idiots” he spat, even Madam Pince stared at the ground in humiliation. He grimaced at you with a narrow gaze then shook his head and sighed, “and you are the dumbest of them all”, he said to you flicking your forehead forcefully, that you stumbled back awkwardly and slumped back on your chair.

When he left the library, everyone slowly returned to what they were doing in utter quietness. Orion awkwardly cleared his throat, sat back in his seat but he wasn’t at mercy with Walburga teasing look. Before the girl could open her mouth to speak, he instantly said with a deep blush, “oh shut it Walburga-“.

“Permanent boils that ruined Tom perfect face!” she imitated him threw her hands onto your shoulder as she copied his previous actions, this made you all giggle again. Orion rolled his eyes, “I mean I knew you had a crush on Tom but this is just on another level” Nancy said shaking her head fixed her stationary on the now messy table. Took a pile of her papers and hit the bottom of it on the table to organize them.

“I hope you all know that I’m not the only one that has a crush on Tom, Abraxas does too” Orion said, making Abraxas look startled before he hit him a few times and refused, “I do not! My feelings for Tom are definitely not romantical like you“, he smacked Orion on his nape again, then continued, “my feelings for Tom are admiration, nothing more and nothing less Mr. boils will ruin Tom perfect face!” he said making Nancy and Walburga roar in laughter and you didn’t hesitate to join them too.

“Do you think that this is an appropriate letter to send to (Y/N)?” Elizabeth asked, narrowing her eyes at the lines that Eileen wrote in the yellowed parchment. Eileen took a glance at the blonde, turned her attention back on the wizard’s chess she was playing by herself, “yes, do you not agree?”.

Elizabeth frowned, took another examining look at the letter.

Dear (Y/N),

I have to say that ignoring our letters is highly disrespectful. We are your friends and we always watch out for you, so there is no reason to act immature. Elizabeth and I are worried sick about you, but you don’t care. If you are angry tell us why and do not ignore us.

Elizabeth stopped reading, she didn’t like the letter one bit. Elizabeth knew why you were ignoring them, and frankly, you had every right. They made you feel left out, and guilt didn’t allow Elizabeth to sleep at night. She wronged you, and it’s only fair that you have your chance to feel sad and angry.

Still, Eileen stood up from her place and walked towards the Potter’s white owl. Took the letter from Elizabeth’s hands and placed it inside the Envelope, next to the howler tied to the Potter’s owl, she tied the letter there.

The second she finished everything, the owl fluttered outside the Potter’s home. Finally, Elizabeth sighed and sat back on the armchair opposite the one Eileen sat on, she moved a chess piece. Eileen continued to do so.

They played in utter silence till Eileen said, “I got a letter from my mother today”.

“What did she say?” Elizabeth asked absent-mindedly, watched the knight piece jump off his horse and kill a pawn. “She told me I’m out of the will, apparently the Blacks pressured my father at work”.

Elizabeth lifted her head, gazed at Eileen sympathetically, “I’m sorry about that Eileen, I know how much you wanted to inherit that Potion shop”. The dark-haired girl smiled bitterly, “I can’t have it now, and I suck at friendships”.

Noticing the blonde went completely silent, Eileen exhaled with obvious frustration, “I don’t like that she is ignoring us both, I would understand if she ignored you because you didn’t invite her and purposefully left her out but why is she ignoring me? I didn’t do anything!”

“Eileen!” Elizabeth chanted angrily, “it’s my fault now?” she asked.

The black-haired girl stood up, and snapped impatiently, “you cannot possibly feel guilty about the consequences of your actions! You didn’t invite her over”.

“What is up with you?! did you forget at Slughorn Christmas party when you said it’s her fault that the muggles torment her?” Elizabeth countered, with the same energy but with a whining tone that made Eileen reach to a different level of rage.

“I told her I’m sorry!” Eileen said.

“Well let me tell you this, we are both wrong! and the letter you just sent out was a one way ticket for (Y/N) to end her friendship with both of us!” Elizabeth shouted.

“My family was stressing me out non stop so this is an excuse for being terrible to (Y/N), what is your excuse?” Eileen asked, shaking her head and sat down again, “you didn’t want to fall in love with her, how can you be so sure?”.

“Why can’t you just try and understand me instead of twisting my words?” Elizabeth snapped, crossed her arms over her chest and stood up to lighten her heated anger. Eileen rested her back on the armchair, rolled her eyes at the blonde.

Eileen hid her face in her palms, eyes burning as she whispered in pure defeat, “can we talk about me instead of (Y/N)? I’m going through a hard time…” she uncovered her face to breathe out shakily, “I really am”.

Slowly, Elizabeth crouched to face Eileen, and rubbed her back and asked, “ ‘leeni… what’s the matter?”.

Eileen blinked once, the tears cascaded down her cheeks quickly as she stared at Elizabeth that frowned in sympathy and brought her in a hug, “I hate my life and everything in it”, she pulled away from the hug as she vented to the blonde.

“All I do is try my best but no one appreciates me, no one listens to me and no one likes me and no one wants me and I hate every aspect in my life!” she sobbed, her nose turning red as she relentlessly wiped her tears with the cuffs in her robes. Elizabeth’s hand was still on her back, she said, “Eileen, I appreciate you and I listen to you and care for you”.

Eileen shook her head, still wiping her tears as she said, “if my own family doesn’t want me then why would you?”.

“Because your family is a bunch of fools” Elizabeth affirmed confidently, earned a slight smile form Eileen. “I wish more people liked me, I only have like two people that like me and the other one surely hates me now for a stupid racist comment I said” she broke once again, crying even harsher.

“Your crush likes you too, that muggle boy you said”, Elizabeth said.

Eileen wiped her tears, “my family would murder me if they see me fraternizing with a muggle boy”.

“Well your family cut you out of the will so why do you still care about them?”.

Tom was obviously very cross with you. He didn’t shout at you, he didn’t act salty towards you, he didn’t glare or scowl. Although you do wish he did so because his way of expressing his rage is through the silent treatment.

He never looked at you, he even stopped tutoring you, although it wasn’t that bad as Walburga enjoyed tutoring and gladly offered to do so, Walburga personality switched when it came to studying, she was a good tutor and simplified things for you.

Tom ignored your presence in the library table, and in the dining table. You hated the way he treats you, or lack of. Three days passed since the incident, and today is the day that the students would come back from their homes.

You were a nervous wreck for many reasons, you hated Tom silent treatment, you weren’t very close to him, but you still hated being ignored and dismissed. Second reason is that you would have to speak to Elizabeth and Eileen. Because you ignored them, they didn’t stop sending you howlers to wake you up at the crack of dawn. You did send them a small note.

Dear Elizabeth & Eileen,

Please stop sending me howlers. I don’t want to speak to you both.

(Y/N),

Obviously, they didn’t stop sending them. So you were left feeling cranky and frustrated, due to your lack of sleep because of the howlers and because of the fact you would have to speak to Eileen and Elizabeth. Something in you told you to forgive them because they were so good to you, and this is the first major mistake towards you. And people make mistakes all the time, right?

But you cannot speak sincerely for yourself as it may be the fear that the howlers put in your heart, you hated them and despised being yelled at, in a condescending tone that made you cry. The minute you receive the howlers in the early morning, you would curl up in fetal position and hope that they stop screaming in your eardrums.

Any sort of hex you wanted to put on those howlers, it didn’t work. In fact, it made the screaming louder and more ear-piercing.

Even though Tom treated you like a ghost, the rest of his circle didn’t, including Orion.

Abraxas always invited you with them, although they mostly studied and ate while chitchatting, he occasionally made you laugh. Nancy acknowledged your presence, as simple as it was you needed that, she would call you by your first name when she notices your mind drifted away from the circle.

Walburga tutored you, pranked the rest of the circle, excluding Tom of course, and always looked at you first when the group would break in laughter. Orion and you rarely talked one on one, but he did include you in the conversation.

It was the evening time; the Hogwarts express would arrive any moment now. The good time without being called slurs, and the good time being included in a group that didn’t leave you out was done. You were pulled back into reality tonight.

You had a simple wish, that tomorrow morning the circle of Slytherins that included you in those two weeks wouldn’t banish you in the morning. Especially Abraxas, he was such a sweetheart to you that you feared he would recoil back into the person you hated. Nancy too, you feared making accidental eye contact with her in classes, and instead of her face lighting up in a small smile it would become the previous grimace.

Walburga as well, you hated the thought of not seeing her in the morning and witnessing her usual pranks and laughing merrily with her. Orion, the one that cared so much for Tom but still gave a portion of his care to you.

The thought of losing all of that made you depressed.

In the last night with them, you tried to kick out all the anxiety and fully enjoy it to the fullest. The sixth of you were sat in the library in their designated table. This time no books or studying materials were visible, just card games distributed fairly between the five of you; Tom refused to play and you could see the relief in everyone’s else’s eyes, Abraxas hissed to you that he was grateful that Tom wasn’t playing as he always won.

“I have a dragon” Walburga said with a smirk, straightening her back to glance at Abraxas’s cards, the blond hid them from her and narrowed his eyes at her, “which kind of dragon?” he asked.

“Fire breathing one, obviously” Walburga responded sarcastically, you chuckled lightly and gingerly fixed the cards in your hand, you were collecting Chinese fireball dragons and you feared that the dragon you had would be the same one Walburga had.

“(Y/N) is collecting Chinese fireball dragons!” Nancy announced, you hid your papers from her and said with an apathetic face, “I am not”.

“Yes you are! I just saw it” she said, laughing as she evilly glanced at the deck in her hands, “I have the last Chinese fireball and I am not giving it to you”.

“I bet you are collecting Hippogriffs” you said, “Each time I hand you a Hippogriff card you would-“.

“What the hell?! I am collecting Hippogriffs!” Orion said, threw his cards across the tables and hissed angrily in defeat. The game was already ruined so you all placed your decks in the table, Abraxas looked at you as you two laughed secretly at Orion throwing a tantrum about never winning in the last seven rounds.

You backed on the chair, your eyes were exhausted, and sleep was the obvious cure to the exhaustion. Still, you bit back your yawn as your eyes slightly watered, and watched Walburga gather the cards back inside the box, “the winter break is really short” Nancy said.

Glancing back at the giant circular clock, it was a little bit after 8, the library would soon close and a very meek Madam Pince would nicely tell you to leave it, she was still very embarrassed about the incident with Tom.

“Next time let us spend Christmas in my house” Abraxas offered, you felt very out of place about it and it did break your heart even thinking that they were making plans for the future that you assumed didn’t include you.

“No, let’s have it in my house” Walburga said happily.

Orion rolled his eyes simply at her words as if she said the most absurd statement ever, “so we get to see your crazy siblings? I swear if I have to sit down and listen to Alphard speak about his travels one more time-“.

“Alphard is your cousin” Nancy interrupted the boy, he simply glared at her. Abraxas scooted to the edge of his chair and excitedly said, “if we have it in my house then we will have absolute freedom! Also, my mother has been bugging my father to spend Christmas abroad so I believe we will have the house to ourselves!”.

Nancy gave him a suspicious look as she said, “you’re mental”.

“No, I’m being serious” he argued.

Orion turned to face Tom, gave him the usually sweet smile and asked, “Tom, why don’t you pick?”.

You never forgot that Tom was there, his charisma was too loud to go unnoticed. You lowered your gaze to look into his eyes, he was already looking at you, which made a silent gasp climb your throat. It’s been days since he acknowledged you.

Your eyes met for long moments before you awkwardly detached them, your stomach hurting you and you were feeling like you don’t belong in this body once again. Your robes felt heavy, your head felt heavy, and your eyelids were heavy. All in all, you felt very strange. “Yeah, we should let Tom pick, when he turns seventeen he leaves the Orphanage” Abraxas said with a simple nod.

As you glanced one last time at Tom, he finally said, “we will think about it when the time comes”.

Nancy nodded, Walburga gave an affirmation with a gentle hum, “our wisest, Tom…that is right we should worry about things when the time comes”.

Too tired to even think, you stood up from your seat, catching everyone’s attention, “where are you going?” Abraxas vocalized everyone’s thoughts, you pushed your seat back inside, gave them all one last look and responded, “I’m tired so I will sleep early tonight”.

“It’s only a little after 8” Walburga said, she took a board game out of her bag and added with a childish pout, “I wanted to play another game with you”.

You gave her an apologetic smile, but still awkwardly hovered to the front of the table to head to the exit, Nancy eyed you from head to toe, not in a malicious way or a judgmental way, in fact, she looked indifferent as she did so, then turned to face Walburga, “let her sleep, she looks tired”.

Straightening your back and bringing your hands in front of you, “good night” you said.

Just before you could turn your back, Abraxas let a loud noise to stop you, then he bounced off his chair, he gave you a book, a colourful and a thick one that spelled in the cover: Fire in my heart. Smiling you asked him, “where did you find it? I thought you said the library doesn’t have it”.

He shook his index to your face, still smiling at you confidently, “they don’t! which is why when we talked about it I wrote a letter to my mother and asked her to send it to me”.

Walburga jumped off her seat too, holding your elbows, shaking you in the process as she eagerly asked, “you like reading stories?! Why didn’t you say so?!”.

Too startled to speak, you stared at her with slight surprise. Abraxas scoffed, “I was speaking to her first, wait for your turn”.

Walburga scowled at him but didn’t speak anyways, the blond boy turned to face you as he said, “when you finish reading it let me know, mother and I are so eager to find someone to speak-“.

Walburga interrupted him, pushing him away from you in the process, “there is this romance book, it speaks about the life of a pirate and falling in love with a siren, it is incredib-“ this time Abraxas pushed her back and completed his speech, “like I was saying, my mother and I are excited to hear new thoughts about this book, my mother likes the second lead more which I think is absurd considering the princess fell in love with the-“.

He was pushed back by Walburga, “the siren falls in love with the pirate, as you know sirens are known to kill pirates so why did she exactly not kill this specific pirate? It is a really interesting book”, before Abraxas could push her off the way to complete their circle, Nancy parted them both away as she hissed, “she said she is tired, talk to her tomorrow!”.

Your heart fluttered at the simple statement, it ignited hope in your heart, so you smiled to the three of them and confirmed Nancy’s statement, “yes, we will speak tomorrow”.

Disappointed but docile, the two excited Slytherins stepped away and gently waved as you walked away. Your heart was filled with hope and happy feelings, as you walked down the stairs to reach the Hufflepuff basement. You couldn’t wait for tomorrow, just so you could speak to Abraxas and Walburga again, and hopefully by then Tom would look you directly in the eye just like tonight.

You let out a happy sigh, but the happiness was quickly wiped as Dumbledore appeared in your viewpoint, his expression undecipherable as he stared at you down from his half-moon shaped spectacles. “Hello, (Y/N)”.

Nervous to speak, you didn’t utter a word as you took a step away from the old man. “I heard you know about your past now”, he said, took a step closer to you, the same one you used to step away from him, “and I heard that you know that you killed a person”.

Not a thought was in your head, but your heart drumming in your heart, head, and your ears. Your face and neck grew hot as sweat formed in the back of your neck. Your previous exhaustion as replaced by feelings of dread and anxiety, and from the look in his eyes you weren’t sure if you would live to see the next day that you were excited about.

Chapter Text

The chairs in Dumbledore’s office were very uncomfortable, the stiff cushion pressed on your bottom in a weird way that made you shift a bit. The portraits in Dumbledore’s office were even more uncomfortable looking, they all gazed at you as you were sat still, they were looking at you as if you were a criminal.

It filled you with disgust.

Nonetheless, you gawked at the portrait of the same nosey knight you saw a few days ago in the headmaster's office, as you scowled at the knight, he rode his horse away in fear. He must have told Dumbledore you were at the headmaster’s office and that you spoke to the sorting hat. 

“Care for one?”, Dumbledore offered you candies but you sighed and said, “I don’t think you brought me here to treat me like a guest”.

Fixing your posture, you demanded, “get to the point”.

He placed the vase on top of the mahogany desk, sat in the armchair by it, and swished for the tea set to back away. His eyes examined you very carefully as he said, “so you got your memories back”.

“I did not”.

“Then what do you remember?” he asked immediately.

“I do not remember anything I just asked the sorting hat about things about me and it told me that I killed someone,” you said, looked away with tears in your eyes, “I wanted to know so bad about myself and I get to know that I killed someone?”.

You stared back at Dumbledore, stared straight at him without blinking, and not once did your eyes flatter, the dust itched into your pupils and burned, “I wish I didn’t do anything to find out more about myself” you whispered. 

“Miss (Y/N),” he called.

Standing up from your seat for dramatic effect, you paced in his office as you hid your face and ranted, “who did I kill and why did I kill them?! I cannot understand! Why was I stubborn about finding out who I am?!”, your shoulders shook violently as you cowered into yourself and cried, “Professor Dumbledore please don’t expel me! I love Hogwarts and I do not wish to harm anyone”.

You dropped to the floor as you sobbed harshly, crying loudly, “don’t expel me! I don’t know who I killed I really don’t!”.

“Miss (Y/N) please get up from the floor” he called, helped you stand up from the ground, you helplessly cried and dug your face inside your palms as you sobbed loudly, “I’m just fifteen I don’t know how I could kill someone!”.

You didn’t care about killing anyone, you weren’t stupid and the world wasn’t in black and white or so kind to you, so whoever you killed possibly deserved it. But you wanted to stay at Hogwarts.

In the list of the things you know about yourself, you are a great actress. 

“Shouldn’t I be put in Azkaban? I killed a soul!” you sobbed, wiped your tears with the cuffs in your robe, just to make it sound realistic. He forced a sigh as he made you sit down, “You are under seventeen, we cannot put you there”.

As he rounded his desk to speak, he took his seat without uttering a single word. His eyes stared into the core of your head while your shoulders shook with your hiccups. As each second passed without the older man saying anything to show he fell into your act, your confidence plunged while you turned to test all your previous dramatic actions. 

Perhaps crying was a bit much, but you still weren’t quite sure as the man didn’t speak a word under his judgmental gaze. The grandfather clock ticked loudly and it resonated inside your head and shook your body with anxiety. 

Tick… there goes your confidence…tock… there goes your short-lived life…tick…Dumbledore will obliviate you and throw you out into the muggle world…tock…he knows…tick….he knows…tock…he knows!

The clock mocked you, filled you with doubt and uncertainty. 

“Miss (L/N),” he called, your eyes shot to glare at him. It was a ninety-nine percent chance that he already knows everything you didn’t want him to know, and it was a slim chance that is almost nonexistent that he might have fallen into your act. 

You may have been a fool, but you were not an idiot.

Wiping the single tear droplet that poured to your cheeks, you stared at Dumbledore as a silent way for him to continue his words, to which he did. 

“Do you take me for a fool?” he asked.

Speechless and shocked, you didn’t respond, your lips parted cluelessly without words spilling. The older man took off his half-moon-shaped glasses, placed them on his wooden desk, and massaged the bridge of his nose with obvious exhaustion, “do I look like a fool to you?”, he repeated. 

It wasn’t a rhetorical question, he truly seemed to be wanting an honest answer, “No, sir”.

As you responded, he said immediately after, “then why are you acting?”.

You let a silent gasp, your eyes watered as your heart thumped on your ribcage violently. You were caught in a big lie. A fool, that is what you were, how could you even think for a second that you could fool Dumbledore? How could you not have a grain of doubt that he could be tricked by few tears from you?

“(Y/N), are you that desperate to know about your past?” he said gently.

In shame, your head dropped to glare at your palms. “If you really want to know about your past, just say so and I will let you know about everything”.

You really wanted to know, just like he said, you were so desperate about knowing who you were, you wanted to match a name and a face to the voices in the back of your head. Who was Victoria and why did that little boy voice urge you not to make her worry?

It was stupid of you to blindly walk in the tap Dumbledore set just for you; he wouldn’t give you information without anything in return. He even asked you so nicely if you wanted to know that badly, just so you could stupidly walk into his trap.

“What do you want in return for the information?” you asked. 

He fixed his posture, “something simple, really, and you have the choice of rejecting if you don’t want”.

“Which is?”.

“Become my spy” he simply said. 

Too confused, you let a clueless sound as your lips dropped and your eyes squinted with doubt that the old man was losing his grasp of reality. Becoming a spy? To whom?

“I have noticed you are quite close to Mr. Riddle” he pressured with a critical look, you blinked away with confusion, “not really if anything I get on his nerves more than anyone”.

That, and opening the chamber of secrets together, besides seeing him read about Horcruxes. 

Dumbledore's harsh gaze remained fixated over you, whilst you squirmed in shame. At this point you didn’t care, whatever this man will believe, you will give it to him. He already seemed stubborn and seemed to only believe what he sees. 

“I will think about it, but tell me the information first,” you said, crossed your arms over your chest and crossed your legs as well. “Alright”, he said and rested his back on the armchair. With a wave of his wand, the tea set floated closer to the desk. 

It landed gently as his words began with the same tone, “at the age of eight you were kidnapped”, you frowned and absentmindedly watched him pour hot tea on the delicate minuscule cup, “by a group of assassins, we still don’t know why they specifically chose you but they took you from your home and,” he stopped to take a sip from the teacup, you wondered if he was purposefully doing this to get on your nerves, if yes, you pondered about pushing the cup to his mouth while he took a sip; just so the steaming hot tea could burn him.

“Unfortunately we don’t know anything about your parents” he added carefully. 

“Why was I abducted? Were there other kids with me?” you asked, “no, you were the only child which is why we are confused on why they specifically took you and no one else” he elaborated, munched on the sticky caramel candy. 

“What else?” you impatiently demanded.

“Patience” Dumbledore said. 

Your leg shook anxiously, as you glared at him whilst he crunched the caramel candy, as he finished he finally said, “you didn’t go to Uagadou”. 

“What? but Zane said I did”.

“Zane lied about many things to protect you, he told you were his daughter and we both know that isn’t true which I wonder…how did you know he wasn’t your father?” he said, narrowed his eyes at you suspiciously. Nervous, you shook your head and returned the conversation back to where it was, “don’t change the subject, tell me about my past”.

With an exhale, he said, “you didn’t attend school at all, you were taught how to become a killing machine but apparently you were too much of a coward, according to the group so they never made you kill anyone, they only made you torture”.

He stopped speaking to examine your face that flipped into a frown, he didn’t have to think too hard to know what you were confused about; if you were never ordered to kill a person, then who in the world did you kill? 

“Zane refuses to tell me who you killed”.

Silence enveloped the office, the snooping portraits were quiet as they all paid attention to the conversation between you and Dumbledore. “What else?” you asked with a hushed tone. 

“At the age of fourteen, you met Zane and told him about yourself, made a deal that you will betray the group in exchange for a normal life, I don’t know about the details”, he finally finished, leaned back on the armchair as he finished the remaining of his now warm tea.

This morning seemed to be colder than any day as if the freezing cold decided that it would cluster on the same day a storm was inside your chest. You made many possibilities for your past but being kidnapped and taken away from a perfectly normal life pained you the most. 

If you weren’t abducted, then maybe you would have attended a wizarding school like your peers at the age of Eleven. That you would spend your days in joy as your days flourished to become beautiful memories. If only you weren’t taken from that life, then maybe your moral compass wouldn’t have been such a Russian roulette. 

If only.  Those were the only words you could think on this cold morning, you were so deep into your thoughts walking to the great hall that you didn’t notice Abraxas waving at you to sit at the Slytherin dining table. You didn’t notice Walburga calling your name to look at the newest prank she came up with on an unfortunate third year. 

You sat in your previous usual spot in the Hufflepuff dining table, goosebumps chilled the nape of your neck till your scalp and fingertips. Too exhausted to tighten your scarf around your neck, distracting yourself by staring at the sunny-side-up egg, in perfect shape and almost mocking you for looking like a mess. Eileen slowly sat next to you, Elizabeth occupied the other space as she cleared her throat, “good to see you, (Y/N)”.

As much as you thought about it, and reviewed it more than once, looked it over and over again just to all get back to the same conclusion, they didn’t do something so bad and you may be overreacting from many others points of view, you tried to look at Elizabeth and warmly smile at her, you tried to greet her and ask her about her Christmas vacation you even wanted to ask her about the wedding.

Even as much as asking Eileen how was sleeping over at Elizabeth’s place, but you were so tired, exhausted and you didn’t have an ounce of energy to be dealing with anyone. In their eyes, you may have seemed immature as you sat there in utter silence.

But truth to be said, with the exasperation operating your mind right now, you wanted to ignore everything and pretend nothing ever happened. At this level, you didn’t care if your exhaustion ended your supposed friendship with the two girls.

“How have you been?”, Eileen asked, giving you a patronizing look that made you reach another level of frustration.

Placed on the tough spot already, and already earning the title of someone immature just because you didn’t want to deal with any of this. You whispered, “hi”. Elizabeth shuddered in anxiety, her hazel eyes lifted to look at Eileen.

The other girl palms slapped the table, earning attention from the surrounding students, “alright this is getting really childish, first, you don’t read our letters and second you are acting all petty and childish about Elizabeth not inviting you somewhere?! Grow up, (Y/N)!”

You whispered, “I don’t want to speak to you”, with a shaky tone as hot tears burned your eyes but you swallowed them back. You were so frustrated and upset that you could only explode in tears.

“We have to talk about it, Eileen is right, this is getting ridiculous” Elizabeth said gently, her hand patting your back but you avoided the gesture while she awkwardly fisted her hand back to herself. “(Y/N)! (Y/N)!”, Walburga said joyfully, trotting her way to you. Abraxas was walking next to her as his long legs helped him take almost the same steps as Walburga.

Walburga's silly actions would have usually made you smile, no matter how upset you were, but too exasperated to lift your lips you simply blinked and massaged the spot just above your ears. “What do you want, Black?” Eileen said with a sharp glare, Walburga chuckled sarcastically, “not you” Abraxas joined her short chuckle. 

“I was calling you earlier even Abraxas was telling you to come to sit with us,” Walburga told you, pointed at herself and Abraxas. 

“(Y/N), what is she talking about? Did you talk to them while we were away?” Elizabeth asked, looking puzzled.

Your head was throbbing painfully, while you could feel your head getting viciously split with the worst headache you had in your entire life. All you wanted to do was take out your brain and soak it in cold water just to numb it a little bit. 

Concerned, Walburga placed her palm on your forehead as her other hand measured her own temperature. “You are not sick but you look so tired, are those fools bothering you?”, she asked, shooting Eileen and Elizabeth a dirty look. “I’m fine,” you said simply and gently laid her palm off your forehead. 

“She is just acting so we don’t confront her about her behavior,” Eileen said as she narrowed her fixated eyes on you, “(Y/N) we really do need to speak about it” she added harshly, you turned to fully confront Eileen, before you could speak Elizabeth said in a rushed and anxious tone, “what Eileen means is that we cannot let our friendship sink over something that can be solved”.

Fed up and upset, you got up from the table, almost knocking Walburga over but you were so angry that you dismissed it, “since you two came here I kept telling you I’m in no mood to speak about it but you didn’t listen, and it’s always my fault that I don’t listen that I don’t put in the effort” you said, took your satchel as you glared at them, tears brimming your eyes as you said quickly, “if this doesn’t summarize our friendship then I don’t know what will!”. 

Elizabeth pressed her lips in a tight line as she sighed heavily, Walburga and Abraxas glared at them before they followed you as you walked away. “(Y/N) if you want me to hex them just say so,” Walburga said softly, Abraxas walked on the other side of you as he gently patted your shoulder. 

As you three got out of the great hall, Nancy came rushing to you, she asked with concern painted on her features, “what happened? Are you okay?” the last bit was directed to you. With a sudden halt, hugging your satchel to your chest as your eyes glazed to the floor, “thank you” you thanked.

Tom and Orion who were coming from the Slytherins dorms, stopped as they saw you all outside. The latter looked at Walburga with a puzzled look, the girl shook her head at him. “Thank you, really, thank you so much for caring” you detailed as your hold on your bag tightened, feeling Tom's gaze on you made you feel more stressed. “But I want to be alone right now”, you finished with a faded tone.

They all stared at you in silence, which only doubled your anxiety. You already upset your first friends and you don’t want to upset this new potential circle. Thankfully, Abraxas said, “I understand, I will talk to you later”. His smiling face radiated brightness and warmth that you truly almost thought he was a saint. 

Walburga pushed him away quickly as she said tenaciously, “why is it I and not we? I understand too and I will talk to you later too, (Y/N)”. Nancy crossed her arms over her chest, “okay then, we will see you later”.

Finally, you walked away, with no direction or a destination in your head. You only wanted to walk and walk. With your head bustling with thoughts and the commotion of the students busying the corridors, you soon found yourself in the exterior lands of Hogwarts. 

When the solace in walking left, you forced it back in with running. You sprinted and sprinted, without looking back as the heavy bottom of your satchel slapped your thighs as you ran. The pain was oddly delightful as it took the weight of your mind and everything undesirably occupying it.

As you reached the forbidden forest, with the trees losing their green coat but it got replaced by frosted tips that looked like skeleton hands, the cold air waving your robes and scarf, you reached the top of the hill with a singular tree, the largest tree. Not stalling for another second, you dropped your satchel to the snowy ground and climbed the largest tree.

There was something so peaceful in climbing a tree, the cold air slapped you across your face and legs and your palms felt dry as you sat on the thickest branch. It felt so right and calming, seeing Hogwarts look so small, and your problems seemed silly in the eyes of nature.

Truth to be said, you needed something to null all your chaotic thoughts and feelings. You were feeling too many things at a little time to process all of it, everything was stimulating inside so you were thankful to be sitting over the magnificent tree; not caring if it dirtied your robes or hands, as the cold winter breeze numbed your body.

Your head rushed with thoughts, there was not one person you can show your real self too, you were nothing more and nothing less than a pathetic waste of space. It attacked you and troubled you. Although you weren’t sorry for existing in this splendid world, perhaps that was the apathy speaking for you, whatever it was, you liked it and the scenery thickened your thoughts. 

I’m not sorry for being born into this world,  you thought firmly, looked at the blue sky. The world was so great that surely your issues must be irrelevant. 

“You see,” a voice said, you flinched and turned in rage to face someone you didn’t want to see right now, Tom. He walked closer to the tree, lifted your satchel off the snowy ground as he slapped the frost off it, “you really must be a monkey, climbing that large tree with ease”. 

Tightening your eyes at him, you decided that two can play this game, “are you being racist right now? Calling me a monkey because of my skin color?”.

“You know I was talking about your ability and not your skin,” he said with an obviously bored tone, “oh yeah? Is that true now? Now I know what you mean?” you said sarcastically, turned to scoff into the other side. “Why are you here anyway? I thought you were not speaking to me” you said, rolled your eyes and crossed your arms defensively over your chest. 

“I prefer not to have to speak to you, but this is urgent,” he said, wearing your satchel over his shoulder as you gazed at him peculiarly, “you seem way too upset this morning for it to be a normal dramatic fight with your phoney friends”.

Not finding any power to deny that they were phoney, you allowed him to speak freely as you rest your back on the sturdy branch. “Did Dumbledore speak to you?”, he asked. 

With slight shock, your legs dangled the branch as you directly looked at Tom down by the trunk of the tree, “what makes you think that?”.

“I can read you like an open book,” he said simply.

“Then stop reading me you pervert” you commented irreverently. 

He rolled his eyes as he breathed heavily to collect his patience, “the point is, he talked to me too about you and your past and everything” he said, his gaze sinking into you with so many complicated emotions behind, but the dominant emotion was sadness, you weren’t quite sure.

That damned Dumbledore. You cursed inside your chest. “He told you about my past?” you whispered, if Tom wasn’t paying attention to you, the words you said might have fled with the moving air.

“Yes,” Tom said, with a voice just above a whisper too. A sad hue to his usual apathetic features was seen, if he didn’t try to hide that sadness you might have thought he was faking it for you. But it seemed genuine, there was a hint of regret as well. His emotions were too complicated for you to process in such a short time.

“He suggested that I become a spy for you, so I can safely assume he asked you to do the same thing”.

“That old fart, why is he dead set that we will create a cult? All I want is to pass my O.W.L.s and find a job” you said exasperatedly, as you counted the two things you wanted the most in this world. Besides having an ordinary and blissful life. 

Tom looked up at you, as you looked down at him too, sharing a meaningful look that didn’t hold any meaning for you compared to him. A hint of sorrow in his gorgeous eyes, he had to be the most beautiful sad person you have ever seen.

When you raised a curious eyebrow at him, he broke out of his trance. He raised his hand to reach you, “so I’m here to purpose an idea”. Your hand reached to catch his, you hopped from the branch, his arm wrapped on your waist to support you. His mysterious eyes sank deep into your own, a menacing glint in his eyes, as he said, “let’s become allies”.

You pushed your face away from his, “allies in what?”. 

The sinister flash deepened in his eyes, and if it weren’t for the fact you already knew he was crazy the first time he opened the chamber of secrets you would have been convinced all over again that he truly was insane.

“In killing Dumbledore, of course”.

Forcing a space between you two, freeing yourself from his strong arm as you said, “you’re crazy”, his gaze dropped a bit with a nostalgic smile, “I know, but so are you”. 

You forcefully stepped away from him, acquiring your personal bubble as you crossed your arms and glared at him with obvious anxiety, “no you really are crazy! How are we going to kill- him! He is the strongest wizard of our time!”.

He invaded your personal bubble again with the same ominous glint in his eyes as his palms extended to the air to prove his point, “exactly, which means he has a million enemies”.

The thought of Dumbledore gone truly was enticing. You took a step back away from the psychopathic boy, “if I agree, and I’m not” you said as you lifted your index in the air, “what is our plan and how can I be assured that you are not fooling me? Or- I don’t know! Spying on me?!”.

He inhaled the crisp winter air, his cheeks and nose flushed pink with the air, so did his lips. “To answer your question, we can perform the unbreakable vow, again,” he said. 

You slowly nodded, “and your plan?”.

“I still didn’t come up with a no-fail plan, but there are many potential plans,” he said. 

For now, the idea of fully becoming Riddle’s ally was intriguing, he was a smart boy and Dumbledore hated and doubted you both equally. Although, you weren’t sure he could be trusted. Dumbledore was a strange man but he was strong and clever, and he could have offered Tom an attractive offer in exchange for spying on you. So, you asked, “how can I know that you are not spying on me?”.

“The same way that I will be assured that you are not spying on me as well” he said, “vertiaserum”. 

You shook your head immediately, “I thought you were smart, it won’t work, it has many requirements that need to be met in order for it to work, and even then it isn’t accurate as one can sense it and fight the urge with the right power”.

Crossing your arms as you said, “so no”.

Tom let a sigh go, curled his fingers back into his palm as he walked closer to you, “I have another suggestion,” you looked at him questionably without a response, “a blood pact”.

Lips parted with surprise, as you stared up at him, you weren’t stupid, a blood pact was a form of a deep bond and a deal. “You want to make a blood pact, with me”. 

He nodded, “if you’re willing then, yes, I would like to make a blood pact with you and our deal will be to never spy on each other for Dumbledore and if we do happen to do so, the spy will die”.

You uncrossed your arms, eyebrows knitted as you gazed at him. He must be truly serious about this, from what you can gather about Tom, death was a subject he avoided and searched for alternatives to not ever die; the book about Horcruxes you saw him reading that day in the library told you enough. 

Tom truly wanted Dumbledore gone. Just as much as you. 

“Tom,” you called gently. 

His eyes glazed over with nostalgia once again, the sad hue in his eyes deepened as he let a gentle hum of inquisitiveness. He looked so stunning. Repetition of your previous thoughts, how can one look sad and beautiful? Broken yet desirable, all at the same time?

“Are you sure?” you whispered.

Tom walked to the dry tree bark, took a sharp shard and nicked his palm with it then he extended his hand to you, “let’s just get this over with”. 

You stared at the large droplet in his palm, with careful steps and concern showing on your face. You wrapped your fingers around his palm as you asked, “are you sure about this? Death isn’t easy”.

“It won’t be easy for both of us” he cleared. 

“I know, but…” you muttered, “still, are you sure?” you said, squeezing his palms ever so tenderly.

“I am sure” he affirmed one last time. 

With newfound hope, you nicked yourself with another shard of wood and joined palms with Tom. “I swear that I, (Y/N) (L/N) won’t spy on you for Dumbledore or anyone and if I do I will die”. 

“I swear that I, Tom Marvolo Riddle won’t spy on you for Dumbledore or anyone and if I do, I will…”, his gaze on the floor lifted to meet yours, “will die” he continued with more strength. 

Reclaiming your hand back to yourself, new profound hope and strength and desire to live flourished in your heart and mind, to live without judgment like the person you want to be. 

You won’t fall again; you will not allow Dumbledore to control your life as he pleases and makes you never able to love and trust ever again. Never in your future and your present, you were not going to give him the satisfaction of changing you into a meek version of yourself. 

That personality that Abraxas described of you, with the qualities he said he liked, you will be just that person. You will let it shine and not control any of your actions or words in hopes of not repulsing people. 

That hotheaded (Y/N) with the temper, the one that enjoys having a known presence and attracts good people. You will be (Y/N) with a strong personality and one that will strike back immediately and not have a ray of regret.

Victoria tried her best to come back home on time, she truly did, holding a cake she bought from the only bakery that served for black folks, her heels clicking and carrying her as fast as she could up the stairs that had her small shabby apartment. 

As soon as she reached her door, she rummaged for her spare key and when she found it she missed the keyhole several times but before she could try anything the door swung open revealing Merope. 

“Happy birthday!” Victoria cheered quietly, taking a large step inside the flat. It was a cold November night; Merope’s birthday. The latter eyebrows knitted together in sadness and shut the door, watched Victoria take the chocolate cake out of the box, and look around frantically for a match to light up the candles. 

Merope slowly approached her, “how did you know it was my birthday?”. 

“You told me once a few weeks ago so-“ the joyful woman held the cake, lit and ready to be blown to Merope as she sang off-key, “happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to my dear Merope! Happy birthday to you”. 

Merope’s eyes shone, her hands palmed her grey dress as she tried to control her breathing that rose insanely. Victoria pushed the cake a bit closer to Merope, as she cheered lightly, “blow the candle”.

With her unsteady breathing, she couldn’t blow the candle from the first time, but the third time she did it and Victoria hooted joyfully, “cut it now” she instructed as she pointed at the knife above the table.

The other woman grasped the handle of the knife, after glaring at it for moments. This was the same knife she always looked at and reminisced about taking her own life to rid herself of this life and to rid Victoria of the responsibility of taking care of her. 

Now, the same depressing knife was in her happiest memory. 

Slowly, she sliced the cake and Victoria pointed her jaw at the couch and said, “now sit, it’s your special day so you shouldn’t do anything”. 

This was Merope’s most beautiful time in her entire life. She cannot deny that all her days with Victoria were happy and they felt sincere, it made Merope much happier as Victoria truly liked her for her own person.

She made her feel deserved of being loved. 

When Victoria sat next to Merope, she handed her a plate with cake and asked, “did you make a wish?”.

Confused, Merope asked, “was I supposed to?”.

“Yes! When you blow candles on your birthday and make a wish the wish must come true”.

“Interesting” she commented. 

Victoria wrapped her fingers around Merope’s hand as she said, “but that is okay, you can do it next year”.

“I don’t think I need to make a wish” Merope whispered, Victoria hummed with confusion, half paying attention with the delicious chocolate cake stealing most of her attention. 

Because I have you, you’re everything I needed.   Merope thought inside her head while watching Victoria. The other woman looked so calm, lovely, and like the prettiest painting in this whole wide world. 

Victoria had to be the most beautiful person in this whole wide world, filled with kindness and care. Merope was certain now, not only did she adore Victoria, she loved her so dearly and her heart would shatter into million pieces over and over again if anything happens to this wonderful lady. 

Your eyes narrowed as you watched a group of muggle-borns throw dirty and judgmental looks at you. Those two weeks without racism were a piece of earthly heaven, and it hurt you thinking that being treated with respect had to be the norm. 

Months passed since you had arrived at Hogwarts yet the unfair treatment and racism didn’t stop, not even for once. You were fairly popular with the students with magical backgrounds, while the muggle-borns students who were not a tiny percentage of Hogwarts remained to be uncivilized. 

You were walking to Transfiguration class. Your previous chaotic feelings switched to pure rage to the world, the same world that threw you in a dimension where you were judged because of your skin color and something you cannot control. Jean, the same girl that cut Nancy’s hair sneered at you. 

Not being able to monitor your tongue that snapped, “have a crush on me, mudblood?”.

A collective gasp from the muggle-borns made a smile creep into your face as you raised an inquisitive eyebrow at them. Jean flushed with anger as her lips turned into a thin line as she glared at you. You felt so confident that you wanted to take out your wand and swish it few times to cut Jean’s hair. 

Just because it felt right for what she did to Nancy. Before you could do so, a hand slapped on your shoulder. 

“(Y/N), what are you doing? Come sit with me”, Nancy said, dragged you to the table she usually sat on. Placing your transfiguration books along with an apple that Dumbledore asked everyone to bring the previous lesson. Nancy did the same quickly as she turned to face you with a smile, “as much as I like it when you hex everyone,”.

“What?” you said with fake cluelessness, the girl shook her head with a proud grin, “we both know you were going to hex Jean, I appreciate it and would love to see it, but you can’t hex everyone in plain sight that would get you in so much trouble”.

She turned to open her book to that day’s lesson, “strike when no one sees”.

A shadow loomed over your figure, it was a Ravenclaw girl, “that is my place”. 

You let a silent sound of surprise as you attempted to gather your things and get up, but Nancy's hand grasped your wrist to stop you as she told the girl, “I don’t care, go sit somewhere else”. It wasn’t something so big but your heart leaped with joy and appreciation at the tiny gesture. 

“I have been sitting here for months, you can’t just switch places without telling me,” the girl said with growing frustration. Nancy, still stubborn shrugged her shoulders as she glared at her, “look me in my eyes and tell me if you see a ray of care in there, just go sit somewhere else!”.

Awkward, but still confident you didn’t interfere as Nancy pointed at your older place, “hey,” Nancy said with an obvious evil tone, pointed at your older seat. Next to an upset Elizabeth, “why don’t you go sit next to Potter? You see, my friend,” she rested her hand on your shoulder as she informed with fake innocence to the effect her words had.

“My friend,” she repeated loud enough just to spite Elizabeth, “she doesn’t want to sit next to Potter anymore so why don’t you go sit next to that hypocrite, but be careful that snake bites,” she said loud enough to make the rest of the Slytherin students laugh collectively.

The girl sighed but obliged anyway, and Nancy patted your shoulder as she said, “you are a patient hero to even be associated with Potter”. 

You might have made a mistake, a bang of guilt resonated inside your chest as you stared at Elizabeth whom eyes were shining with tears. You attempted to calm down Nancy, “she really isn’t that bad”.

Nancy shook her head, as she smiled gently, “you don’t have to be nice about it, (Y/N), Walburga told me everything”.

Still, you pressured, “they weren’t that bad, really, we just weren’t compatible”.

“Don’t be humble about it, everyone knows that Eileen and Elizabeth are unfaithful sneaky bitches” Nancy said simply, earning a hum of agreement from Orion that was sitting on a bench in front of you two. 

Nancy was already dead set on her perception of the two girls, it was cemented in her head with a deep hatred for the two girls already and now finding another and a bigger reason to hate them both even more.

Still, you sat uncomfortably as you could feel Elizabeth's pained gaze on you.

As Transfiguration ended, it was time for lunch. You walked with Nancy next to you and couldn’t feel one glare on your figure as everyone feared Nancy, as she was an outspoken person that yielded power and wasn’t so kind to be scared to use it to shun out students she didn’t like. She and Walburga had already done it with Eileen and many other students. 

Orion was walking behind you as he was trying to get Tom’s attention. 

This time, you sat on the Slytherin lunch table at the time. The great hall at Lunch was much more crowded than at breakfast, as you approached the table, Walburga raised her hand and reached to squeeze your palm in a friendly manner as she struggled to chew on a large mouthful of a Shepherd’s pie.

You could feel various looks on you, it wasn’t because you were a Hufflepuff sitting at the Slytherin’s table but more because you were in Riddle’s circle when you two had an obvious feud. “(Y/N) was going to hex Jean,” Nancy told Walburga and Abraxas.

“Don’t do it!” Walburga said with surprise before you could frown at her as this wasn’t in her nature, “let’s come up with a plan and hex her so no one knows it’s us!” she continued getting an understanding nod from you. Of course, Walburga was always ready to hex anyone. 

“Goodness gracious can’t you act more civilized?” Orion hissed, turning his head the other way and away from Walburga that was chewing with her mouth open. The boy turned to face Tom, with wide innocent eyes that had nothing but clueless adoration, “I’m sorry you have to live like this, Tom”.

Nancy and you shared a knowing look, Abraxas said, “honestly Orion, I’m sick and tired of seeing you act like this toward Tom”.

Orion blushed, “I’m just appreciating the beauty and smarts of the best person in this whole wide world and in Hogwarts and you should all do the same”. 

The words didn’t hang onto the air for too long, as Walburga swallowed down the food, she said loudly, “you are so corny”. Even Tom seemed to cringe internally as his hands stopped moving mid-air due to Orion’s repulsive words.

Abraxas, Nancy, and you all laughed at Orion’s taken-back expression. Tom simply looked the other way as he hid his smile at the exchange between the Black cousins. You all returned to eat as the lunch break would end in twenty minutes. 

You accidentally made eye contact with the gates of the great hall, seeing Jean and her group saunter inside as they scowled at you. Instead of sneering you smirked and shouted, “keep undressing me with your eyes, but just so you know I don’t like you!”.

The circle around you gave you their attention before looking at where you stared. Walburga giggled as she swatted Abraxas' arm continuously, Nancy next to you raised her middle finger to Jean that shouted, “screw you n-!” she was interrupted as her mouth was hexed off. 

You turned to look at who did that but couldn’t find any clues as the circle laughed so hard, excluding Tom that directed his full attention to his book. You might have thought he was clueless about the action happening around him if only his wand wasn’t in his hand. 

He was the one that hexed Jean.

Giving you a look, only you understood, you hid your smile as you can see his faint smile that he obviously is trying to hide. “Thank you”, you mouthed, while your circle rowdily laughed at Jean running out of the great hall as she heavily cried. For once, you didn’t pity her, nor did you want to pity her. 

When the commotion calmed, Abraxas said, “Slytherin versus Gryffindor this Saturday” he sighed as he glanced over at Crabbe; opposite him speaking with the captain of the Slytherin team. Nancy flipped her hair over her shoulder, it faintly slapped your shoulder as she said confidently, “we will win”.

Nancy radiated confidence for many reasons, but the one that made her the most confident boos was that; for Christmas, her parents gifted her the shooting star 1961 broomstick, which was much faster than Elizabeth’s broom. She ought to win on Saturday.

She was so prideful that she was even manspreading and stretching her arms behind her back. Noticing this, you stared at her and said, “how are you sure that Slytherin is going to win?”.

“Because!” she answered and munched on a carrot stick, “because?”, you repeated with curiosity. “Let her be, she always gets like this before every Quidditch match- (Y/N) look down she is even manspreading”.

Glancing down at Nancy’s posture, Walburga's words were true, you looked at Nancy and chuckled as you said, “good luck, Elizabeth- I mean Potter had been training for this day since the summer vacation”.

“Well yes! it’s the last match of the season!” Abraxas exclaimed excitedly.

“I actually want them to lose, if they win it will be so noisy after,” Orion said, earning sneers from Nancy and Abraxas, even Walburga exhaled out a sigh of frustration at his words, the dark-haired boy quickly collected himself as he turned to face Tom and said, “Tom agrees with me! Isn’t that right?”.

“No, I don’t,” Tom said finally. Your circle laughed at Orion’s expression, “if it’s too noisy in the Slytherin common room after the match you are welcome to the Hufflepuff common room” you invited.

“No, after we win you will come with us to the Slytherin dorms I want you to be there,” Walburga said, “she is right, after the match, it will be fun! You need to be there” Abraxas affirmed. 

“The real question is who are you going to be rooting for, Gryffindor or Slytherin?” Orion asked, raising an eyebrow at you as he absentmindedly flipped a book; simply trying to mirror Tom. “You always speak shit that I might mistake your mouth for your bumhole,” Walburga said, shaking her head and finished the last of her juice. 

Nancy chuckled and turned to face you as she said with a forced smile, “I just want you to know that whoever you root for is none of my business but if you don’t root for Slytherin I will hate you”.

“What the hell” you whispered as she tilted her head creepily at you, “she’s joking,” Abraxas said with a wave of his hand. “I’m not” Nancy whispered in your ear, as she and Walburga shared looks and giggled secretly at your confusion. 

“(Y/N)”, the whole group stopped whatever they were doing as your name was called by an outsider; Elizabeth.

Lifting your eyes to look at Elizabeth, and Eileen standing next to her as the two glared at you. “Can we talk to you?” Elizabeth requested. Eileen gazed at the circle you were sitting with, then added to what Elizabeth said “in private”.

This time you were not going to run away, you will face them and won’t allow them to guilt-trip you into another lie and making you apologize for your supposedly terrible actions. They did you wrong, and you had enough of it. “Sure”, you agreed, stood up from the bench as you walked around the table to accompany them.

“Listen here, Prince, if you dare and bother her again with your stupid non-sense I will make sure to hex you into oblivion” Walburga threatened. 

Eileen scoffed, rolled her eyes as she said, “Black, why are you even here? shouldn’t you be hanging out with students your own year?”.

“Because I choose to hang out with them, but you don’t have an option, right? Besides Potter becoming close to you out of pity” Walburga smartly responded. 

Before an argument could occur, you told the two girls, “let’s go”. 

You took them outside of the great hall, swerved the long corridor to the left as it was a little quieter. When you could hear yourself think, you stopped and turned to face them. Elizabeth bit her own lips as she watched you with sorrow. 

“Why are you speaking to Black and Parkinson and even Malfoy?” Eileen said, crossing her arms over her chest. “I don’t owe you a justification,” you said. 

“Yes you do, you betrayed us for them! You dropped us like we are the most irrelevant things ever!” Elizabeth cried, her eyes shining with trapped tears. You couldn’t believe what they were saying, they were the ones to leave you out first. 

If they were doing it then it’s fine but if you were doing it then it’s forbidden. You scoffed in disbelief as your lips lifted in a sarcastic smirk, “really? I betrayed you and dropped you first? You really want to tell me that, Potter?”.

Silent and meek, Elizabeth's gaze dropped to glare at the ground as you continued, “you were the ones to leave me out of your plans and you were the ones to blame me for things that aren’t my fault”.

“Still, how could you ignore us for such an irrelevant thing?” Eileen said. 

“Shut it!” you shouted, hands covering your ears as your eyes inconsistently switched between them, “you just blame others for everything that happens to you! Evaluate yourself first then talk!” you screamed, head and heart-pounding erratically but not with pain but rather with satisfaction. “I don’t wish to speak to you two ever again,” you said lastly.

They stood still with shock while you walked away.

Clinching your hand several times while you walked back to the great hall, beelined to the Slytherin table as you sat on your previous place, the circle that had been talking stopped as they watched with interest. 

Not a word was said since you sat down, but when you finally raised your eyes to look at Nancy's curious gaze, “okay?” she said, “come on don’t keep us waiting!” Walburga cheered with a huge grin. 

You inhaled deeply, when you exhaled you said, “I ended it”.

Walburga and Abraxas kept high-fiving each other as they shouted happily, Nancy patted your shoulder roughly with a smile. Orion gently clapped his hands and congratulated you “good job, now the only lunatic you know will be Walburga”.

The girl ignored his degradation as she said, “we have to celebrate! But honestly there is no time for anything! There are so many things I want to tell you-“.

“Walburga! Relax!” you said with a giggle, “we have all the time in the world” you assured. 

“We don’t, lunchtime ends in one minute,” Tom said, watering everyone’s excitement.

“Alright! I got it!” Walburga said, buzzing with enthusiasm that made you slightly nervous for what she had in mind. She didn’t keep you waiting for much longer as she swept the dishes on the table to the side, standing over the dining table. 

Tom sighed as he decided he had enough of the girl’s senseless antics, shut his book, and left the great hall with Orion following him. Although it seemed that Orion didn’t truly want to follow him as he kept glancing back at Walburga screaming on top of her lungs, “(Y/N) (L/N) is the best! And she is my friend”.

Your face flamed, everyone was looking at you now, hiding your face in your hands and wishing for the ground to split up and swallow you whole to avoid this craziness. To make matters even worse, Abraxas stood up above the table with the help of Walburga, he shouted, “If you have something to say to her then you have something to say to us!”.

Nancy laughed and helped you hide with half an embrace. 

Those two idiots dancing over the dining table and cheering your name, the empathetic girl trying to hide you from the embarrassment. Those people were not the people Eileen and Elizabeth described to you. Those people made your heart flutter with pure happiness. 

You truly cannot bear to leave Hogwarts now. Just the thought of leaving it, leaving everything, and leaving those wonderful people who proudly called you a friend now. You must kill Dumbledore quickly.

The Quidditch match was a complete disaster, the beginning of the day had fooled you into thinking this would be a fun game as the tension between Slytherin and Gryffindor could be cut with an ax. 

Nancy, whose confidence was shaky as she saw that Elizabeth had the same exact broomstick she had. But she was too proud to share her thoughts and anxiety with anyone, although to you her nervous glances to the Gryffindor table revealed her feelings. 

Whilst Abraxas was more of a chatterbox that morning, he was usually very talkative but that morning it multiplied that Tom slammed his book over the boy’s head. “I might lose my brain cells!” Abraxas complained, “rest assured, you don’t have any,” Tom said.

Walburga found solace in playing with her food, too anxious and nauseous to be eating as she cared so much about Quidditch. This morning was the complete opposite of the disaster that occurred a few hours after. 

Slytherin played dirty, you didn’t want to believe the rumors you heard about Slytherin sending two bludgers for two players in the Gryffindor team, anxiety banged in your core as you secretly hoped that Elizabeth wasn’t one of those who were hurt badly. You were on the Slytherin stands with Walburga only; Tom and Orion decided that going to the library when it was empty was much wiser. 

“Come on, let’s go find Nancy and Abraxas,” Walburga said, tugging on your hand to follow her in the midst of the crowd walking back to the castle. “Where would they be?” she asked herself, pulling on your hand tighter as the crowd thickened with very upset Gryffindors. 

“Possibly in the changing rooms!” you said, this time tugging her instead and dragging her to the Slytherin changing rooms. She happily obliged as she picked up her pace with yours to the changing rooms. Which was the total opposite to the sea of students crowding and huddling to the great hall to throw a fit about the cheating Slytherin team.

Your eyes caught Malcolm McGonagall, looking very distressed as he tried to make way to go to an opposite direction too. “Malcolm!” you called, he glanced at you, his facial expression relaxed slightly. Once the crowd became lighter, you approached him and walked side by side to both of your destinations. 

“Hello, Black” he greeted Walburga politely, the girl lightly lifted her eyebrows to him in acknowledgment. The boy forced a yellow grin as he said, “hey (Y/N), where are you going?”.

“I was just about to ask you the same thing,” you said with an awkward chuckle, he looked too sad to share it with you. So you continued, “I and Walburga are going to the Slytherin changing rooms”.

He didn’t look very focused on your words as he mainly wanted to get to his destination much quicker. When he noticed the silence he said, “I was going to the hospital wing, a bludger hit Minerva”.

Eyebrows knitted, hands covering your mouth and you were unable to form any words. Walburga came to the rescue, “I really should apologize for the dirty way Slytherin played today-“.

“It’s not your fault, really” Malcolm interrupted her. 

When you reached the changing rooms you waved at him as he nodded his head to you. His quick pace turned into running as he left. It truly was heartbreaking. Still, you hoped that the injury wasn’t so serious and hopefully with the right potion and treatment she will bounce back to her previous state.

The commotion inside the Slytherin changing rooms was terrible, you distinctively covered your ears making Walburga confused but not questioning your actions as she helped you two get inside. 

“We said no playing dirty! What the fuck was that?!” Nancy screamed, her beautiful hair disheveled and eyes shining with rage. “Weasley almost caught the snitch! I had to! If only you knew how to score a fucking goal!” Crabbe screamed back, his face red with rage too as the girl glared at him, appearing angry that her medium stature looked like it would crush him if she wished to do so.

“At least I was playing ethically! Didn’t your parents teach you ethics?! Want me to shove some right on you, porkchop?!” she yelled back. Her eyes fell on you and Walburga, breathed in and out as she said, “Crabbe, get out”.

“I still didn’t change-“.

“Get the fuck out!” she screamed one last time, her hands clawing next to her head. 

The boy shuffled outside, along with the other three players, excluding the Slytherin Captain. “Nancy, what happened?” Walburga said, running to Nancy as she patted her back to calm her down. You were about to do the same, but a huddled figure on the corner of the back of the room caught your attention behind a tall locker that hid them perfectly, a beautiful shining head of ashy blond locks.

Abraxas. 

His shoulders shook, you quickly approached him but not knowing what to do as you have never seen him in such a state. Light hiccups left his throat, he must have been crying heavily, “Abraxas” you whispered. 

Lifting his head to look at you, his eyes, nose, and neck were red. “(Y/N)?” he asked lightly. 

“Woman up you fool and let’s get up and fight with those other nutbags”, Nancy stated loudly, only making the boy cry harder as he said, “I hit McGonagall and Potter with the bludger, I really didn’t mean it!”.

Your heart dropped till your stomach. Potter was injured too? You asked yourself.

“No, you didn’t! it was a mistake! It was cunning Crabbe that sent it your way knowing you would hit in their way!” Nancy yelled, stomping towards Abraxas as she pointed her index at him, “it’s not your damn fault you fool” she said coldly. Warm words coming in such a cold and harsh tone that it almost sounded like an insult.

“What in the world is going on? And why does it smell like a fish died in here?”. 

Tom walked into the changing room, Orion wasn’t with him. 

Walburga sighed as she explained, “Crabbe hit a bludger towards Abraxas and Abraxas hit the bludger behind him not knowing McGonagall and Potter were behind him”. As she finished she sighed once again. 

The room fell quiet, only Abraxas hiccups cut the quietness, you all anticipated Tom’s point of view of the situation. After few seconds, “why are you crying like a damn baby? It’s obviously a miscalculation on all of your sides”.

“Huh?” Walburga said strangely.

Tom rolled his eyes, but explained further, “Crabbe knew what he was doing but hitting a bludger to you, but why were Potter and McGonagall flying behind a beater, fully aware that the beater’s job and placement are dangerous”. 

It slightly made sense now. It calmed Abraxas down but he still hiccupped hysterically, “now get up and change from your sweat suits, seriously, how do you sweat in the winter?” Tom sneered but still waited as Nancy took her robes from her locker and walked towards the nearest stall to change.

Before she could slam the door shut, she glared at him as she hissed, “it’s not your fault”.

Abraxas watched her through his foggy vision for few moments, but dropped his head into his arms again as he cried and said, “it’s my fault!”.

“I said it’s not!” Nancy shouted, then closed the door.

His cries got harder, not knowing what to do you sat next to him and wrapped an arm around his shoulder, bringing him to cry comfortably in your shoulder, to which he gladly obliged. 

“It’s okay, let it all out” you whispered, and gently patting his back. 

“Where is Orion?” Walburga asked Tom, the boy’s eyes hovered from your figure embracing Abraxas back to Walburga. He answered in disinterest, “I told him to look for a striped owl for me”.

Walburga chuckled, “there are no striped owls”, she glanced at you and Abraxas and told him gently, “it’s really not your fault, you heard Tom right?”.

The boy sobbing in your neck calmed a bit, you didn’t know what to do so you continued to hold him and hope it was making him feel better. “Anyways why are you here? You hate the Quidditch pitch and everything about it” Walburga asked, directing her question to Tom.

“I came here to speak to (Y/N), it’s urgent,” he said, “but of course it was a mess down here” he continued. Catching your attention, you frowned as your mind wandered to reasons he wanted to speak to you. 

Could it be that he finally thought of a plan to kill Dumbledore?

Nancy exited the stall, took Abraxas off you as she said, “there’s no time to change, we need to go and speak to Lestrange about Crabbe’s scheme”.

Abraxas hold on you loosened, his breathing steadied as he used your neck to rest his forehead in defeat, after crying that much he became numb. To him, Tom's words made sense too. Why were the two girls behind him as they knew a beater’s job is to beat the bludger in a different direction.

“Right! where is Lestrange?” Walburga asked, walking to help Nancy lift the tall blond boy off you. “He went to check on the injured players” Nancy answered, and when Abraxas finally got off you and stood up watching the two girls with strained red eyes, “if they were seriously injured I get let off the team” he whispered.

“I said it’s not your fault!” Nancy screamed but still had her hold tight around Abraxas' arm and walked out with him. You and Tom remained inside, alone. 

Meeting halfway, in the middle of the room. His serious eyes sent worry into your heart as it pounded with several feelings. Fear, excitement, and thrill. “Dumbledore is suspecting we’re on the same side”.

“But we can avoid this if we fight in public,” you said. 

“Are you stupid? This will only make him more certain, act normal and the same way as you are now” Tom dismissed your idea quickly.

“Okay… but that cannot be the only reason you’re here” you responded. 

“Right, you see, I constructed a perfect plan to get rid of Dumbledore” he prompted, walking around the room in a slow yet creepy manner. “Remember when I said that Dumbledore has many enemies?”.

“Yes…” you slowly replied.

“(Y/N)” he called, turning to look at you, “do you know the saying that goes like: The enemy of my enemy is my friend?”.

“I’m familiar”.

“Wonderful, you see I finally was able to locate Dumbledore’s greatest enemy who is very strong,” Tom said. 

Without missing a second, you whispered, “Grindelwald”.

“Exactly,” Tom said with a smirk, one so angelic that it didn’t seem as if he was so evil that the whole world’s sins were enfolded within him. But to you, it didn’t matter. You too were no angel as well.

Chapter Text

“So, you located him, but shouldn’t you write a letter for him?” you said, Tom shook his head after giving you a sneer, “write what?” he asked, pretended that he held an invisible quill as he wrote in the air, “dear mister Grindelwald, we are students from Hogwarts- “.

“Okay I get it, stop mocking now” you interrupted him. Once he calmed down, you said, “so you’re suggesting we meet up with him, face to face, right?”.

“Yes”.

Crossing your arms, taking a closer step to him, he blinked in confusion. “So where is he right now?” finally, you asked.

“I don’t know,” he said.

“You just said you located him!” you hissed, looking at him with disbelief. He sighed, “I didn’t locate him exactly, but I know where he would be, so we have to search for him,” he said.

The stench of the changing rooms was becoming unbearable, it also affected your senses as the only logical thing to do right now was to smack Tom Riddle’s head; perhaps then he would come back to his senses.

With a sigh, you guided him out of the changing rooms and walked through the now empty corridors. Everyone must have left back to the great hall or their common rooms to discuss the result of the paused Quidditch game.

Still, your mind was set on finding an appropriate plan that hopefully won’t get you both killed, or even worse, to get obliviated and sent into the muggle world. “Say that we find him, so how are we going to tell him that we also want to kill Dum- “.

“Hush!” he shushed you, clasping his palm over your mouth while looking around him doubtfully. Wide-eyed with surprise, you gawked at him, tingles buzzed into your whole body. Your heart pounded across your chest chaotically.

When he finished surveying your surroundings, his olive-toned eyes flicked back to you. You blinked quickly at him, once you finally pulled yourself back together as well as your scattered thoughts, you kicked his shin. Tom bounced away from you as he swallowed back a scream of pain.

“What the hell, Tom?!”.

“Me?! What is wrong with you!” he said, struggling to stand up correctly.

You didn’t help him, still feeling alarmed after the way your body reacted, “you never touch a girl like that” you responded with a shrug. He fully stood up; his figure much taller than yours making you nervous about how he will react. He sighed and shook his head, “just come with me”. 

As if he didn’t learn his lesson about invading your personal bubble, he seized your wrist and pulled you behind him to the first set of narrow stairs, they spiraled and spiraled as you two walked hundreds of stairs. 

Passed the second floor, the third floor, and the fourth floor. He was walking too fast and dragging you behind him that it affected your breathing that turned heavier and much more exhausted; you were rethinking your life plan of becoming an Auror.

Once you reached the sixth floor with him, you snatched your wrist back to yourself as you said, “where are we going? At this point we are going to reach the Ravenclaw dorms!”. 

He scoffed, “follow me, we are almost there”.

You grunted but followed him anyway. Finally, he left the seventh floor and walked straight into a wide corridor that turned narrow the more you walked into it. Then, he reached a tapestry that always indicated the end of a corridor. You decided to watch what he would do about it. Hogwarts was full of secrets, and with the way to reach the Hogwarts express by running straight into a wall the idea of this tapestry to be enchanted wasn’t far-fetched.

Tom lifted the tapestry, gestured for you to walk inside before him. Taking careful steps behind the tapestry, it was another medium-sized corridor. Tom approached a spot in the left wall as he paced in front of it back and forth. 

“You look ridiculous” you commented with a grin. 

He flashed you a glare. 

When he paced for the third time, the wall bricks separated and revealed a door. Again, he opened the door and gestured for you to walk before him. Fascinated, you walked inside and came face to face with a room. Medium-sized that resembled a library, the shelves were stocked with dark books. 

Two armchairs by a tall, large table facing a fireplace. 

“Is this like a secret enchanted room or what?” you whispered, once Tom shut the door it vanished, and it almost seemed that you two were trapped inside. “This is the room of requirement, I discovered it and therefore it’s mine”.

You frowned at him, watching with critical eyes as you said, “I didn’t say it wasn’t yours”.

“Good, then I don’t want you to tell anyone about it,” he said, walking straight to the library and picked a book. “Not even our friends?” you asked hopefully.

“Certainly no, this is my secret place” and sat on the left armchair, “then why am I here?” you asked, crossing your arms over your chest and glancing back to the spot the door was once in. You were attempting to calm your heart; he might have brought you here to kill you and get rid of your body. 

Your hand secretly clutched your wand in a pocket inside your robes. “Calm down, I’m not going to kill you,” he said.

“Take a seat, I brought you here to discuss our plan” he elaborated and flipped the book he brought. Slowly, you walked to the armchair on the right, facing him. 

“I suspect that in the period between mid-July and the start of August, Grindelwald would be here” he showed you the page he was looking for. 

A picture of a forest. Your eyes flicked back to Tom as you said, “a forest? where? In Scotland?”.

“In France,” he said. 

Your lips parted in shock, you stared into his face without a word. The idea of meeting up with Grindelwald was insane but meeting him in another country was even more impossible. At least to you. 

There was no way two teenagers could go all the way to France, in the middle of a muggle war and a wizarding war. It was simply out of question. Your previous plan of smacking Tom in the head seemed like the right choice right now. “You are crazy,” you said.

“I know, but so are you” he automatically responded. 

“I have so many questions” you began.

“Great, and I will answer each one of them,” he said, shutting the book.

Inhaling a deep breath and interlocked your hands together over the table once you exhaled, “How are we going to go there?”.

“We will take the knight bus to the port, lie about our names, and when we arrive at the port, we will take the first ship to France” he answered casually, “with what money? I’m poor and you are poor”. 

“I will take care of that”.

“What are we going to tell him when we do meet him? Hi! We also want Dumbledore to be dead?” you said, “I will take care of that” he answered. 

You were left with more unanswered questions more than you began. The plan was risky, and you didn’t like it one bit. But Tom Riddle was the smarter one between two of you as much as you hate to admit it. Also, he is desperate about killing Dumbledore just as much as you are. 

“Are you on board with this plan?” he demanded sternly; seeing your obvious reluctance as a sign of disagreement. 

You sighed for the umpteenth time since you saw this strange boy, and revealed your thoughts to him, “how am I going to tell my adoptive father that I won’t be home in the summer?”, he rolled his eyes in disbelief at your words as if you had just said the most irrelevant thing ever. 

Evaluating your question one or two times to see if it was actually stupid. But finding none, you urged him to answer you with a hum. He scoffed, “just tell him you’re spending the summer with a friend”.

You countered him quickly, “alright, and what are you going to tell the orphanage? Do they even allow you to stay- “?

“I will take care of that” he interrupted you. 

There was nothing else to say, he left the plan up to your imagination so you decided that you will trust him with it and hopefully you won’t regret doing that. “In order for the plan to work you need to do several things,” he said and shifted closer to the edge of his seat. 

You gazed at him, lifting your eyebrows with curiosity. 

“Do not cause any trouble, do not engage in any trouble”, he ordered strictly. 

This was going to be difficult, you wanted to avoid accidents and troubles, but they always find a way to torment you, your whole existence was a magnet to trouble. Still, you were going to try your best because of how much you wanted his plan to work and to live your days happily without an ounce of anxiety in Hogwarts, you will do the impossible.

You shrugged, “fine”.

“Also,” Tom clearly wasn’t finished about stating what you needed to do, it irritated you. 

“What?” you asked impatiently.

“Do you still have the invisibility cloak?”.

Frowning, you answered, “It’s not mine, it belongs to Potter”.

“I don’t care about the details, you need to steal it” he casually said, gesturing for you to exit the room as a door magically appeared in the place he pointed at. “Are you out of your mind?! How do you imagine I would steal something like that?! It’s a family heirloom- “.

“Steal it and obliviate her, just figure something out, will you?” he said, standing up from the armchair; making you stand up as well as you followed him to show him how much of a bad idea it was. You can’t simply walk inside the Gryffindor dormitory and pretend that you were there for Elizabeth. 

Especially not after what Walburga said that day in the great hall, or what Nancy said in Transfiguration class. 

Everybody knew you no longer were friends with Elizabeth and Eileen.

“I- “you voiced and looked at him with pleading eyes, “I can’t, do I really have to do that?”.

Tom sighed, “why don’t you use that Gryffindor scum to help to sneak inside the common room?”.

“You know I don’t speak to Elizabeth,” you said and crossed your arms over your chest adamantly, “I meant the other one” he justified.

“Who are you talking about?”.

“McGonagall” he sighed, pointing at the door with his finger. “She’s injured just like Potter! -“.

“I’m talking about Malcolm McGonagall! Just look at him and tell him to let you inside the Gryffindor common room and he would do it because he’s so smitten with you” Tom snapped furiously, opening the door and pushing you out of the room to the corridor. 

You stuck your foot to the door and leaned on it to not give him a chance to close it, there were still many things that needed to be cleared. “The cloak is her family heirloom; I can’t steal it her family will surely know about that”.

“My goodness, (Y/N) you are so annoying,” he said; making you roll your eyes, “If you steal it secretly then she won’t know it was stolen, she will think she lost it and won’t dare tell her family” He elaborated. 

“Any other questions?” he demanded, before you could part your lips to ask another question, he interrupted you, “wonderful, no question!” and shut the door to your face. You slapped the door several times, crying at him to open it but it simply vanished, and you were left with one big mission ahead of you. 

For now, you decided to worry about that later and go check on Abraxas now. He looked severely heartbroken about today’s quidditch match. 

After sauntering to the great hall and finding that your friends were nowhere to be seen and standing in front of the Slytherin common room for an awkward time; you truly disliked that part of being in a different house than your friends.

Orion finally showed up, looking disheveled with owl droppings over his usually neat robes. “(Y/N)!” he called you breathlessly, “where is Tom?! I didn’t find any striped owls!” he cried. 

“Because there aren’t any in Hogwarts,” you said with sympathy. 

Orion wasn’t as bad as he portrayed himself to be, he wanted to seem intimidating. You couldn’t believe it anyway, especially after Walburga told you he took ballet classes with her when they were young. He just wanted to make Tom like him and tolerate him a bit more than the rest of the circle.

“Oh, do you reckon I should send my mum an owl and ask her to buy a striped owl?” he asked, approaching the Slytherin portrait. You looked away and pretended not to eavesdrop on him whispering the password, “if you think it’s the answer, then yeah why not” you said casually.

As the portrait swung open, you awkwardly stood in front of the common room as he glared at you, you assumed that he didn’t want you to follow him inside.

“Are you looking down on me?” he asked.

Flabbergasted, your jaw fell. Too shocked to answer, you shook your head at him furiously.

“Oh, don’t act stupid,” he said dismissively, “Tom told me to look for a striped owl, and not buy one!” he cried again, fanning his face dramatically.

Orion Black wasn’t intimidating, he wasn’t a terrible company, but he was a handful to deal with. You faked a smile, “Orion, Tom chose you to do this mission so don’t you think you should do it creatively?”.

Touché.  You thought.

The boy clapped his hands excitedly, his cheeks reddening with enthusiasm, “yes! you are absolutely right!”.

“Can we get inside the common room now?” you asked hopefully.

He said carelessly, “yes yes, I need to get to my room immediately and write to my mum to get me a striped owl this instant”, you followed his quick pace and hoped not to trip on the cobblestone of the steps going lower to the Slytherin common room. 

You were too busy looking around you to listen to Orion rambling about what Tom would say if he saw the striped owl. 

The Slytherin common room was wider than the Gryffindor common room, the roof was higher than the Hufflepuff one, and you were confident that it would be dimmer than the Ravenclaw one too. The windows that look to the depth of the black lake were different than what you had imagined from the time Abraxas described them to you.

Everything cleared off your mind as you saw Walburga waving at you with a smile, Nancy was yelling at Lestrange while she was pointing at Crabbe. Abraxas was nowhere to be seen; your heart banged with concern about the sad boy. 

Orion walked in an opposite direction, so you walked to Walburga that made space to sit next to her on an isolated smaller couch further away from the fireplace, and the ruckus of the arguments.

“I wanted to celebrate with you about Slytherin against Gryffindor, but we can’t unfortunately”, she said once you sat next to her and watching the tall window as few mermaids were swimming around.

You grinned at Walburga, “it’s fine I will grieve with you”, her smile widened but didn’t say anything more as her attention partially turned to Nancy's voice getting louder, with more anger, “poor Abraxas, he got let off the team” Walburga whispered sadly. 

“He was?! Why?” you exclaimed with shock, “Lestrange had to make the decision or Slytherin won’t be able to play in the summer season, the last match of the year” Walburga explained with a shrug of her shoulders, “but it was a small injury! Surely the nurse could heal the two injured Gryffindors”.

Walburga chuckled lightly, in a manner of sarcasm before she petted your head, “I love how you clueless you are, it’s like you live under a rock”, she rested her head on her palm, her elbow on the edge of the sofa, she finished, “they are seriously injured, the nurse said they can no longer play Quidditch”.

You bit the edge of your mouth with guilt, it wasn’t your fault or anything, but your heart was torn between your new friends and your old friend. Whom both had a passion for Quidditch. You didn’t entirely hate Elizabeth; you were a level away from feeling indifference towards her. 

Frankly, you were so tired of the hate, and you wanted to direct these special negative emotions to the man who could and will ruin your life, and not a teenage girl who made you feel left out. But your heart was in much more agony at the thought of Abraxas. 

He actually listened to you speak, he cared for your opinions and sincerely respected your presence. Despite the bad first impression you had of him, of course. Right now, Abraxas had to be your closest friend out of the Slytherin bunch.

Tom could be considered one if he wasn’t such an insufferable bully. 

“Where is Abraxas?” you asked.

Walburga sucked in a deep breath, stuck her index in the air to make you wait as she thought hard for an answer to your question. After a short while, she clapped her hands, “I bet all my galleons that he’s at the astronomy tower”.

You stood up, “I’m going to him”. 

“Don’t bother, he prefers to be alone when he’s sad” Walburga dismissed. 

You were going to sit down again next to her and hope that the time would pass, and not think about anything else, but it bothered you. Abraxas liked to put a front to people, just like the rest of the Slytherin circle around you. Also, earlier in the changing rooms he wasn’t opposed to you holding him while he was crying.

So, you decided to see him and read him to see if he actually wants to be alone.

Exhaling a sigh, you said with a shrug, “I’m going to try, doesn’t hurt to try”.

By the time you left the Slytherin dorm, the fight between Nancy and Lestrange was still going on. The rest of the Slytherin team went back to their dorms, they have had enough of the same broken record of Nancy blaming Crabbe, and the same answer Lestrange gave to her that he had no other option.

The great hall was emptied; everyone was forced back into their dorms to control the fights breaking between the students. You were the only one strolling, and you were thankful for that as you weren’t in a good place to be hearing some racial slurs targeted towards you or your friends.

Too busy inside your mind, you didn’t notice the sullen Eileen with her back straight as she glared directly at you and walking to you. “(Y/N)” she called. 

You didn’t stop walking and simply glanced up at her as she was walking towards you in the same direction you were walking to. “Elizabeth wants to see you,” she said, blocking your way. 

“I don’t want to see her,” you said, stepping to the side and continued your walk. 

“You are a heartless bitch; did you know that?!” she screamed anxiously at you. 

Tom's words resonated in your head,  do not engage in trouble . So, you ignored her and continued your journey to find Abraxas. You truly hoped he would be at the astronomy tower. Abraxas was your good friend, and he needed comfort. From the bottom of your heart, you wished you would be able to provide him that.

The way you perceive yourself wasn’t so bad, and you were in touch with your feelings. You didn’t know what you wanted to hear when you were sad or what sad people wanted to hear, but you knew very well what they didn’t want to hear. They don’t want to hear excuses; they don’t want to hear that it’s all their feelings and they could just force a positive outlook. Your knowledge might be limited. 

But it’s a hundred percent better than nothing.

“You promised that once I give birth you will leave”, Merope hissed, gawking at Aisha. The latter, sighed and asked, “why do you dislike me that much?”.

Merope scoffed, “you reek of magic, do you think I won’t notice that?”.

Aisha froze but continued to clean the area that Merope just gave birth in. It was still in Victoria’s shabby flat on the floor to be specific by the fireplace. Merope wasn’t scared to speak to Aisha comfortably now, especially with Victoria away to clean the baby from the fluids.

“You’re a squib?” Aisha asked.

“No, I’m magical too but I promised not to use magic again so I don’t turn out rotten like you” Merope spat, “you’re following Victoria around because you want something, I know it”.

The other woman chuckled, “you’re smart, and you’re right”.

“I won’t let you harm her, harm my family, stay away”.

Aisha shook her head, “Oh don’t get me wrong, I don’t want her, I want what’s inside her”.

Confused, Merope frowned but quickly the frown disappeared, the baby, Aisha was after Victoria’s baby. “Why? Whatever, now that I’m here you won’t, even if I have to use my magic again I will stop you”.

“Her baby is born has royal blood, the man who impregnated her had royal blood and he hid the fact that he was royal, which makes things easier for me”.

“Royal blood?” Merope repeated with confusion, “yes, in Uagadou we studied that the royal blood is extremely strong, and they’re the only blood that can turn into a lion, the animagi form,” she stopped to squeeze the towel in her hand into the bowel and mopped again with a towel dunked with soap and water, “unfortunately the royal blood ended as that man died months ago”.

“Does Victoria know?” Merope asked.

“She doesn’t,” Aisha said, smiled, and told Merope, “good for you, isn’t it? Now you can be the knight in the shining armor”.

“Whatever you plan to do, I will not let you do” Merope hissed, digging her nails around Aisha’s wrist, “I will even kill you if I have to”.

Aisha's shoulders shook, she laughed. It made Merope nervous but she wasn’t afraid of Aisha. “Oh Merope, I’m so glad that we have similar feelings”, Aisha said, brushing away the hair strands stuck to Merope’s forehead.

“That medicine Victoria gave to you, I slipped poison in it, you are currently dying” Aisha gently said. “I believe now you will be too weak to speak, but you will watch me comfort Victoria while you die, I will make her trust me, and then I will steal her baby away”.

Merope’s tongue was too heavy to move, she can only stare at Victoria walk back with the baby. Smiling widely as she looked at him with the most adoring eyes Merope ever witnessed in her entire life. 

Even more than when Tom senior used to look at her, as Victoria’s gaze was sincere. “Let’s get you to mama, little Tom”, Victoria happily said only for her heart to get broken. Merope’s face was turning paler by the second, and it wasn’t hard to connect the dots as Aisha whispered, “she is turning cold”.

Quickly, Victoria kneeled down and brought the baby to Merope, “My Merope, look at your beautiful son, please don’t leave us” Victoria pleaded with tears in her eyes. It was no help, all Merope could do was blink slowly, and stare up at Victoria’s beautiful face and switch back to her son’s white head. 

Merope was grateful to know Victoria, she can fully trust her to leave her son with her. As Merope’s body turned cold, as her eyes stopped blinking and stuck watching Victoria’s crying eyes. She hoped with all her heart that the world would protect them all. 

Victoria, Tom, and (Y/N).

Even at the price of getting tossed onto hell, Merope didn’t care, she wanted the three souls she loved most in this world to have all the good things and to be safe. If they cannot have the good things, then she wanted them to be safe. To be safe from the likes of Aisha and the kinds worse than her. 

With the last heartbeat, Merope left this world.

The astronomy tower was cold, you were thankful for layering heavily that morning. Your eyes scanned your surroundings carefully, nothing seemed odd, and the only thing that could be heard was the sound of the wind breezing harshly.

That, and the sound of soft whimpers if you focused harder.

“Abraxas” you called, turning on your heel to the corner of the room, he was there, tucked away from everyone’s view. He lifted his head to look at you, eyes just like you had expected. “(Y/N)? what are you doing here?”.

“I was searching for you, glad that I found you here,” you said and took slow and calculated steps to him. His stare glazed sideways, not having the energy to speak to you. “Do you want to talk about it?” you asked hopefully.

He sighed, lifted his gaze at you, and answered, “I was kicked out of the team, happy?”.

“I don’t want to hear that, I want to hear about your feelings,” you said, cringing on the inside about the way you delivered your thoughts to him. But it got him to lighten up a bit, the corner of his lips lifted in a sad smile. You pointed at the spot next to him, “can I sit next to you?”.

He shrugged his shoulders but allowed you to sit anyway. 

“I hate the astronomy tower,” he said once you sat there.

Confused, you asked, “why?”.

“Each time I’m sad, I always come here, I associate it with sad and negative feelings”.

“That’s interesting” you replied slowly, Abraxas sighed and covered his face, “this was a stupid idea to tell you that, can you please leave me alone?”.

“What? why?” you said.

He stood up, dusted his robes. You copied him, watched him carefully in hopes of reading his body language and knowing what you did wrong to make him want to be isolated. “Because you’re pitying me, you are afraid of saying the wrong thing because you think I’m sensitive!”.

The words he said were unfair, it brought anger to your insides, “how can you speak for my mind so carelessly like that?” you asked in disbelief, the boy bloodshot eyes looked into yours with confusion, “I’m not pitying you, why should I pity you? and there is nothing wrong with sensitivity”.

His gaze fell to the floor with guilt, so you continued stubbornly, “I’m not pitying you, plus there is nothing wrong about crying because you just lost your dream”.

Silence parted the conversation; it was an awkward silence as you weren’t sure if you said the right thing; Abraxas didn’t give you any sort of reaction. “What can I do to make you feel better?” you asked sincerely.

“Tell me something funny” he answered, sat on the same spot again and you joined him. 

You gave him a hum, tilted your face to the side as you squeezed your brain to think of something entertaining. Until you quickly recalled the previous exchange between Orion and you, and his desperation to make Tom like him. 

“Orion is going to write for his mum to send him a striped owl because Tom asked him to go search for one,” you said, it gave you the wanted cause as Abraxas chuckled shortly, “there are no striped owls”.

“Exactly,” you said with a giggle, “Tom told him that so Orion can leave him alone” you explained. 

Abraxas cracked his neck, yawned, and rested his head on the back of the wall without saying anything. So, you racked your brain again for a funny story, but it wasn’t an easy mission as your memories were limited. An embarrassing amount of time passed while you were trying to come up with something funny that Abraxas didn’t already know about. 

“I envy you, (Y/N)” he whispered. 

It was confusing, nothing about you was crazily desired and your life wasn’t envied. “I want to work for my dream and know I can pursue it”.

“I’m sorry about that Abraxas”, you said.

He shook his head, smiled sarcastically, and explained, “I love playing Quidditch, I really did but the problem was that I knew I couldn’t pursue it after graduation”. Tilting your head to look at him, you witnessed a single regretful tear slide down his face, “why not?”.

Abraxas wiped the tear away, bit his lower lip then stared at you, “my dad will never allow me to do that, I was brought into this world to inherit the family business”.

He sniffed, “I wanted to be nominated in the national team so I can go up to him and tell him: look, I’m so good at this so please give me a chance. I liked having hope”.

You never expected Abraxas to have a harsh reality just like you. In your eyes, he was a sensitive boy who loved reading romance books, who was very close to his mum. But it was only the good side of his life, he only had one option to his life, and he cannot control that.

He cannot throw away his family and his lineage just because he wanted to play Quidditch professionally, even if it was his passion. You didn’t think hard about wrapping your arm around his shoulder and bringing him in a hug. 

“What you’re doing is hard, but I respect you and I know your struggle”, you whispered, with a frown and tears brimming your eyes as well.

“Thank you, (Y/N)” he said and accepted the hug gladly. 

After a while, you parted and looked into his eyes as he said, “I never told anyone about that, it feels good letting it out”.

“Thank you for sharing it with me” you comforted him, holding his cold hand inside yours; you hoped to warm him up, literally and figuratively.

Abraxas didn’t deserve to be feeling this way. Just like the rest of your friends; they all deserved happiness and good things to happen to them. “I know my issue isn’t as big as the rest of the circle, but- “.

“Your problems and feelings are valid, don’t say that about yourself” you cut him strictly. 

He gave you a sad smile, then said, “Walburga cannot pursue her dream of becoming a private tutor because her family expects her to marry Orion, who is obviously a raging homosexual,” he stopped to giggle as he imitated minor gestures that Orion does, “he wants to become an artist, he is one hell of an artist but cannot do that because he is supposed to marry Walburga”.

With a deeper frown, you asked him, “they told you that?”.

“We don’t talk about things like that, but we observe and understand things” he answered, playing with your fingers absentmindedly. 

The world was not fair to your friends or you, it made you sad and angry and confused with so many feelings shooting up and dying quickly only to be replaced with another negative emotion. The swirling inside the pit of your stomach was from lividness towards this world you were born into, the world your friends were born into. 

It made you want to light this whole world on fire, a large fire that eats up everything that was unfair to the people you cared about. 

“And you don’t even know your parents or have a dream to follow, and Tom is… “he trailed to think roughly, then finalized, “is doing shady things”.

You two lightly chuckled, “definitely”.

Abraxas tilted his head in interest to you, “speaking of him, what’s your relationship with Tom? Did you know him before coming to Hogwarts?”.

With a raised eyebrow, you said with confusion, “No, why?”.

He shrugged his shoulders casually, leaned closer to you just for the sake of stealing some warmth from you. “So many strange incidents, but if you say no then I suppose it’s a weird coincidence”. 

You were growing impatient, so you shook your shoulders to make the boy speak faster and elaborate more. “Speak, Abraxas, I’m dying with curiosity”.

Abraxas rolled his eyes, tucked his blond bangs behind his ear, and said, “why are you so impatient?”.

“Speak!”.

“Fine! The first day here, he said your first name when he saw you on the train, I found it strange because we only knew your last name”, he explained, “what else?” you demanded eagerly.

Abraxas gave up on the idea of taking a nap on your comfortable shoulder, and sat up straight, “at the sorting ceremony he kept looking at you the whole time, I only remember that because Orion was fuming since he couldn’t get all Tom attention”.

Tom Riddle knew your first name when no one else did? He couldn’t take his eyes off you on the first day. You wondered the reasons with confusion, before you could ask for more, Abraxas rolled his eyes and continued, “the first week he spent his time in the hospital wing when you were there”.

Well, you did watch him open the chamber of secrets. You felt slightly upset, and you quickly lost interest in knowing more. 

Abraxas added casually, “he also…I suppose looking back at it now, yeah- he did encourage us to befriend you”.

His light and innocent words made your insides explode with curiosity once again, but also with disappointment. “What do you mean by that?” you asked.

The pretty blond boy realized the meaning behind his words, so he added quickly, “he didn’t force us to be your friends, if we didn’t like you then you and I won’t be sitting next to each other now”.

You bitterly said, “very gracious of you”.

Abraxas explained, catching your shoulders, and making you face him, “no I will not allow you to get the wrong idea because of a misunderstanding”.

“You basically just told me that you wouldn’t be friends with me if it wasn’t for Tom,” you said, tears burning your eyes as you crossed your arms over your chest. “(Y/N), if it wasn’t for Tom and the issue between Prince and Potter and you, we wouldn’t have been friends silly, this is how fate works,” he said, flicking your forehead.

Then he added, “you used to hate me when you were friends with them, and I used to hate you because you were so mean to Tom”.

“I wasn’t that mean to Tom- “.

“I can think of ten different incidents right now” he interrupted you, letting go of your shoulders while you chuckled and wiped your tears, “I mean, he was mean to me too”.

“Yes, he always made it seem as if he hated you, but we and by we, I mean the rest of the circle can tell,” he pointed at himself proudly “anyways he would just say some things to make us excited about you, like for Nancy he would say you hexed some rude muggle-borns, and for me, he would say you enjoyed reading”.

“He would say it so casually that no one would suspect anything, I don’t know why he thinks we can never understand him- I mean even silly Orion can tell and he disliked your guts”.

“Orion hates me?” you asked anxiously.

Abraxas waved his hand and dismissed your words, “hate is a strong word, he just doesn’t trust you like the rest of us, and he is very salty that you got to catch the attention of Tom the second you came to Hogwarts when he has been for years”.

You nodded; it really did seem unfair. But it was rather nice hearing that Tom wasn’t who he portrayed himself to be, and it was a pleasant feeling knowing that he didn’t see you as a pawn to be rid of whenever he sought it was appropriate. 

Looking back on it, his actions made him very suspicious of you. But after he knew your past, he was sympathizing with you but with very complicated feelings that you can never decipher. 

Tom Riddle was a riddle you could never understand. 

“I feel like Tom might have seen you in the past, maybe you two met outside Hogwarts and- “Abraxas stopped speaking and let a deep gasp that startled you a bit, he clapped his hands to show he came up with a brilliant idea, “you said you were adopted! Maybe you and Tom were in the same orphanage!”.

This possibility does make sense, and you hoped it was right. 

“You think so?” you whispered to Abraxas, the boy nodded harshly, “I know so! Just think about it, this will justify all his actions like he would feel betrayed that you left him in the orphanage to your new family so this is why he was conflicted about you at first, but he still cared!”.

The theory was nice, and it did give you one more ray of deeper personality, you liked it very much. But what you liked the most about the theory is how Abraxas became excited, his eyes were still red, and his blotched skin slowly turned paler as he progressed into explaining his theory. 

It was nice seeing the transition from sadness to forgetting. Abraxas truly was your closest friend and you hoped it shall remain this way for a very long time, as you liked him very much. 

After the heartfelt conversation with Abraxas, you two remained on top of the astronomy tower till you decided it was time to go back to dinner. But the thought of going into the great hall, with everyone's eyes on Abraxas and giving him the title of this heartless soul that stole away the dreams from two quidditch players. You suggested that you invite your circle to the kitchens.

“Let’s just go alone, I can’t look Nancy in her eyes” he confessed.

“Why not?” you said but respected his decision and instead of heading to the Slytherin dorms to invite everyone else, you circled to the opposite way of the corridor; heading to the kitchen. “She would pressure me into talking with Lestrange about it, but I already gave up, it’s for the best” he answered. 

As you two descended the stairs, he held your hand lightly and smiled at you, “thank you”. 

He wanted to tell you so many things at that moment. In that short period of knowing you, it was only filled with good times, but he can already tell that you were a warm soul. He was not worried about you seeing him cry and he wasn’t nervous about sharing his deepest secrets. 

There was something about you, that made him feel comfortable and he allowed it to invite him inside your bubble so he can feel comfortable. Abraxas was grateful that you listened and listened, no wonder Eileen and Elizabeth were angry that you no longer wanted to be their friend.

It was a selfish side in Abraxas that made him grateful for that. So, he will treat you well because he was genuinely scared about losing you; there was no one else like you. Someone so understanding, someone that cared, and someone that didn’t have any hostile intentions below their disposition.

You smiled back at him, with a brighter smile, “not between us, we’re friends”.

Yes, friends forever and ever . He thought happily.

It’s been a whole week since the unfortunate Quidditch match, you were halfway through the book Abraxas lent you. It made you speak to each other more; making Walburga very bitter as it was a book she didn’t read and couldn’t contribute to the conversation or the inside jokes. 

But she wasn’t worried about showing how much it bugged her, “I hate it when you two do that” she said as you were all sat in the Slytherin dorm. You were all sat around the fireplace, playing card games, and making your chocolate frogs race to the fireplace and back so you can have them melting. 

A brilliant idea that Walburga came up with, the same one pouting as she pointed at you and Abraxas. “Do what?”, the blond said with confusion. 

Nancy threw a piece of the cards she had in her hand to the pile, “she means those silly inside jokes you two have about a stupid book” she said, flipping her hair and grinning innocently at you; as you had to withdraw extra fifteen papers to your deck. 

With a defeated smile you took the extra fifteen papers that Orion handed to you, looking giddy that you don’t have a chance to win. “It’s not a stupid book, whatever I’m not sympathizing with you all, I have been telling you to read the series since it first came out when we were third years!” Abraxas stubbornly said, slapping a card to the pile.

Walburga pout deepened, flailed her limps away from the cards -to avoid Nancy’s wrath-.

“I hate it! I hate it! I hate it!” she whined. 

“I don’t care! Read the book!” Abraxas yelled back. 

The exchange between them continued, the commotion was raising, and you were getting glares from the rest of the Slytherins in the common room. It only increased once Nancy slapped her last card to the pile, bounced up from the floor, and chanted with a tiny dance, “I win! I win! You lose! You lose!”.

You wanted the commotion to stop, as you can sense it was making everyone else annoyed. However, it was nice to be a part of a commotion too.

“Calm down!”. 

Your group instantly turned silent; Riddle stood by the front of the table. Abraxas secretly nudged you and pointed with his jaw at him as you two watched each other with giddy smiles; driving Walburga even mad.

“This is such bullshit”, Walburga said and crossed her arms over her chest, “I want to be a part of the inside jokes too! It’s not about the book only!”. You wanted to tell her, you know how hard it was for you to be excluded so you said, “I will tell you everything later”. 

“No you won’t it’s a secret,” Abraxas said. 

“Don’t tell me what to do” you said, successfully referencing a line from the book; making both Abraxas and Walburga happy.

“(Y/N) we need to talk,” Tom said, you couldn’t refuse as he instantly walked out. 

With a sigh, you got up from the floor and followed him out of the common room. Once the portrait shut you walked closer to Riddle, “what?”.

“Did you forget about what you were supposed to do?” he demanded coldly, it didn’t take you long to realize he was speaking about your only mission, steal the invisibility cloak. “No, I just was constructing a plan so I don’t get caught”.

He rolled his eyes, licked his lips with obvious frustration, “go get it now”.

“Are you out of your mind?!” you hissed. 

“Yes, but we both will be if you don’t get it!” he said, twirling you to walk up the stairs and continue your mission. Defeated, you allowed him to push you up the stairs, “remember, if you get caught then obliviate, and to get the password just make that fool help you get inside”.

By fool, he was clearly referring to Malcolm. 

“I can’t just use him, his sister was injured and-“.

“Just go get the cloak and if you don’t both of our necks are on the line,” he said, pushing you up the last step on the first floor that was much brighter and had several students walking around the corridors. “All right! Don’t push me!” you hissed and slapped his hands away from your shoulders. 

“Get it or we will die” he hissed back to you. 

“I cannot believe I’m telling you this, but honestly Tom, calm down! I will get it!” you said and stomped the last steps, just so he could pull you back to him and balance you close to him. His breath fanning your face, this time you were hidden from the students walking because of the dimmed lights leading down the stairs. 

He pushed your cheeks closer, and shook your face, and whispered, “The cloak is important in order for us to survive and thrive, I don’t care what you do as long as you bring it to me,”.

You stared up at him with wide shocked eyes, heart rushing insanely at his proximity and the way his arm circled your waist with his hand holding your cheeks. “You’re very smart in hectic situations, so you will not get caught”.

“Remember the chamber of secrets and what we did to that muggle-born? Your ideas saved us”, he whispered in your ear. Your face turned hot and you couldn’t utter a single word. He carefully made you stand up properly on the step of the stairs, his arms still around you. 

“Do it for us”, he whispered in your ear again. His hot breath on your ear tickled you and made tingles travel from there to your whole body. With a last sincere look from his captivating eyes, he retrieved his arms back to himself, you cleared your throat and walked up, glancing back at him every second 

The further you got away, the darkness of the lower floor hid him perfectly, and the only thing visible was his dark green eyes looking at you. Finally, you fully turned and sped your strides to the Gryffindor common room. 

You pressured your head to come up with a plan considering the risks around it. 

The first risk was getting inside the Gryffindor dorm, you still clearly remember it since Elizabeth always said it around you very loudly when she invited you inside her dorm. Also, Weasley that time he helped you get inside it. You had the password so the risk is out of the way.

The second risk was getting recognized inside the dorm, you had yellow robes to match your house. You would stick out like a sore thumb and would bring attention to yourself. The answer to that was to steal a robe from the first Gryffindor you find. You will kick them and eventually make them pass out. 

The third risk was going to Elizabeth’s dorm, you didn’t know if she was there or was still in the hospital wing. Asking about her would bring unwanted attention, so you decided to leave that and you will deal with her if she was inside. 

“Hey, can you follow me? There is something you need to see” you called to a prefect, they were alone and were wearing something you needed. The girl nodded her head. You looked around you, finding no one. “It’s something terrible, and whoever did it is worth losing many house points,” you said, pulling her to the closest bathroom.

“I just know you are talking about Weasley,” she said, already upset, and sped up her footsteps inside. Once she walked inside the restroom, you jumped up and kicked the side of her neck making her pass out instantly. You pulled her to the furthest stall.

After stealing her robes, and locking the stall door from the inside and outside, you walked out the lavatory with your heart beating insanely. 

You didn’t pull the hood to hide your face, it would only bring attention to you. So you confidently walked up the stairs to the Portrait, whispered the password, and walked inside the crowded Gryffindor common room. 

A typical Gryffindor party, of course, it was a Saturday night.

Once you reached your destination, Elizabeth's room, you calmed down your heart a bit. It had to be empty, there was a party downstairs and according to your information about Gryffindors, they will never miss a party. 

Although your confidence quickly evaporated as you saw a figure on one bed. 

Elizabeth. 

Lucky for you, she was sleeping. You quietly shut the door and approached her bed, kneeled by the trunk where you knew where she kept it. 

Heart in your ears but the light at the end of the tunnel was so close. Gryffindors blindly trusted each other so you knew Elizabeth never locked her trunk, you opened it. It was messy but as you dug an arm inside it and shuffled of a single soft material, and pulled it.

It was the invisibility cloak. 

You wanted to smile but couldn’t bring yourself to do it. You were too nervous to do it. As you stood up, you didn’t notice the hazel eyes that were watching you. 

Shutting the trunk quietly, you walked away and clutched the cloak in your hand. You could have walked out and about, you could have left the room happily. Except your eyes fell on the girl in the bed, the same original owner to the cloak. 

A gasp suffocated your throat, you couldn’t come up with a lie on the spot. What would you say? She caught you red-handed, you stole her cloak right in front of her eyes. Slowly, you reached for your wand. 

Elizabeth sat up on her bed, with her eyes glancing at the cloak in her left hand she said, “you can keep it”.

You didn’t respond, “take it, you can take anything you want and I would gladly give it to you,” she said. 

“I don’t want anything else”, you said with a tone above a whisper.

Her eyes glazed with sadness, “really? Not even me?”.

“I don’t want you”.

She stood up from her bed, in front of you as she said, “then I can’t give it to you for free”.

“What do you want?” you demanded lightly.

Elizabeth gently brushed your hair with her palm, her other hand came to cup your face. Her eyes shined with tears, they were filled with so many emotions you couldn’t understand. Frankly, you didn’t want to understand her. 

You were happy away from her, and you want it to continue to be like that. 

“Can you hug me?” she asked with her voice breaking.

Without hesitation, you wrapped an arm around her waist and another arm around her neck and brought her closer to you. She did the same thing, her sniffling got worse as she hugged you tighter and tighter. The cloak fell to the floor.

“Can you stay with me until I sleep?” she asked.

Once you nodded, she pushed you very gently to her bed, your arm extended to allow her head to rest there, she brought your other arm around her figure to face you. “Are you happy with them?” she inquired.

She didn’t want to hear you say yes, but she also wanted to hear you say it. She was very conflicted. On one hand, she wanted you to feel better and to be surrounded by people who loved you, but she didn’t want you to be happier. 

“Yes”.

A thick tear rolled down her cheeks. You were confused, did she like you that much that she was crying about a fallen friendship? It didn’t mean any sense to you. No matter how much you look at it. 

Elizabeth covered your cheek, she said, “I love you”.

You wanted to scoff, there was no way she loved you.

“I love you”, she repeated strongly.

“You’re lying,” you said harshly. 

“I’m not, I know my actions don’t make any sense but I… only did all of that so I don’t fall in love with you, and to ruin our friendship,” she said, wiped the tear and added, “but what I did already ruined it, and you don’t have to forgive me”.

“What does this even mean?” you scoffed.

“It means I love you more than a friend, not in a sisterly way” she cleared up, before you could ask another question, she planted a salty kiss on your lips. She parted to watch your reaction, but honestly, she didn’t care.

“Can you not do that? It makes me feel uncomfortable” you whispered.

“I’m sorry for being selfish, but no” she responded.

“Consider this a trade” she added.

This was a deal, you get to do some things for her and she will turn a blind eye to losing a family heirloom. You valued more than that stupid cloak, and more than anyone else. So, with gained courage, she kissed you again. Deeply this time. 

You didn’t know what to do, so you allowed her to do what she wanted. 

After the second deep kiss, she took your arm from underneath her head and said, “you can go now if you’d like”.

Elizabeth hoped you wouldn’t leave, she hoped with all her luck that maybe you would stay with her until she sleeps and wakes up to figure out this was a beautiful dream. With anxious eyes, she stared at you pull your body away from her, and take the cloak from the floor. 

If you weren’t going to stay, she decided to burn the last strands of dignity she had left. “Please stay with me” she pleaded. 

You didn’t answer her, only took out your wand and pointed it at her. She cried more, and pleaded, “can you at least let me keep this memory? Please, I’m begging you”.

“I can’t” you whispered, her tears getting thicker. Her whole body trembled, and it tore your own heart, your eyes were glazing with tears. “Please?” she begged.

“I can’t” you repeated and obliviated her. Before she could realize what happened, you left the room and slipped the cloak over your head. 

You didn’t care about knocking people with the cloak over your head, you were too busy trying to calm down your heart and attempting to look to where you were going with your tears blurring your vision. 

As you left the Gryffindor tower, with your tears threatening to spill at any minute. You couldn’t believe it, all this time, she loved you. You misunderstood all of it.

You can’t even get close to them again, Elizabeth loved you and it would hurt her if you got closer again. It would make things hard for her. Plus, if you got close to Elizabeth this means you will have to befriend Eileen again, but you don’t want to.

This was a mess. Your whole life was a mess.

After exchanging the robes, and obliviating the girl, you walked to the room of requirement; certain that Tom would be there. It all happened rather slow as you tried to finish everything up and get on with your crying, just so maybe you could at least feel better. 

You didn’t want to cry in front of anyone. 

That statement quickly crumpled to the ground as you saw Riddle, you tossed the cloak at him, he caught it quickly. It was one question that made you unravel, “what happened?”. 

That cursed question. It shook you up and made you cry very loudly, with Tom Riddle watching you without knowing what to do. 

Tom stepped closer to you, confused about what he should do, “why are you crying?” he asked, this only made you cry harder. With your arms to your sides and wailing like a little child, you felt humiliated, but you were too broken to care.

“Who hurt you?” he asked, holding your wrists and shaking you to stop crying. 

Truly, who hurt you? Yourself? Elizabeth? Eileen? Or the fact that someone loved you, but you couldn’t reciprocate the feelings back. There wasn’t an individual reason that made you fall apart. Everything just piled up and kept on piling until you exploded. 

Tom pulled you to him in a hug, his hand over your head, and patted you as you cried into his chest. “You are such a crybaby”, he lightly said. But didn’t push you away. And you didn’t push him away, you just let everything happen.

“It’s all right, let it all out,” he said, caressed your head very gently. 

His hug, his hold, his scent, and his words all felt very familiar. Like something you have been searching for. It reminded you of a place you wished to have. Like home. 

For very long minutes, neither of you broke the hug, even though you stopped crying and you could feel his heartbeat racing against your chest just like your own heart picked up its pace. 

“I missed you” he whispered, thinking you won’t hear it. Except you did.

Chapter Text

You always find yourself in awkward situations, ones that you put yourself in. 

This moment was no different, bawling your eyes and having an emotional breakdown in front of Tom. That had to be your most embarrassing moment ever, you were so humiliated. He was still holding you and you didn’t have the heart to break it and looking at him. 

You had to acknowledge what just happened. You had to, or he will ask questions. He had every right; you did storm up to him and tossed the invisibility cloak to him with tears clinging to your eyelashes. He only asked one question, one stupid question that made you have your breakdown a bit earlier than you had expected. 

Hugging Tom and crying in his embrace felt so, calming. You didn’t understand why, perhaps that it was the fact that you finally broke down in front of someone that validated your feelings. Or because it was Tom? You weren’t certain, but that crying session made you feel better, but now you were drowning with humiliation in the aftermath. 

“Are you done?” he asked.

Clearing your throat, you pulled away from him and fixed what you thought needed to be fixed in your hair. “Sorry” you apologized lightly, you didn’t have the courage to look up into his eyes. 

Tom scoffed, rolled his eyes, and said, “why were you even crying?”.

You didn’t know, your emotions just piled up and then busted out, showing your most vulnerable moment to the person you had strange feelings about. 

“Did Potter do something to you?” he pressured.

With a shrug of your shoulders, you said “nothing”.

“Look at me and say it”. 

This boy was impossible, and you just wanted to leave this situation as soon as possible. You cannot tell him that Elizabeth confided her true feelings to you, and that you misunderstood everything all along, and that you currently feel like the worst person living on this earth. Just the thought alone, brought tears to your eyes, so you impatiently said, “I said nothing happened, you have your cloak now, happy?”.

He exhaled with frustration, “I am glad that we now have this, but-“.

“But what? you told me to do whatever it takes to have it, so why are you still bothering me?!” you said, looking up at him and then glancing away quickly; fearing that he might read onto your eyes and figure out your depth, “what do you mean by that? Did someone hurt you?”.

Tom didn’t wait for an answer, came to hold your forearms, and forced you to look at him. You didn’t know who he thought he was, but he was stepping on your boundaries. You pulled yourself away from him and shouted, “damn it, Riddle?! Who do you think you are?”.

He nodded, taking steps away from you as he looked away, “you’re right, why do I bother? You’re a nobody to me, I don’t care”.

Your eyebrows connected in a frown. You can never figure out Tom, one minute he’s hugging you and seeming as if he was genuinely worried about you, and one minute he doesn’t care, one minute he’s kind to you, and one minute he’s cold to you. 

One minute he calls you the nastiest words ever, and one minute he whispers to you that he misses you and calls you strange nicknames. 

This makes no sense, this whole boy makes no sense. 

“You’re such a hypocrite!” you screamed, “why do you always look like-“ you stopped, unable to explain your thoughts further but you finally exploded and said, “were we in the same orphanage or something?!”.

He scoffed, shook his head slowly, “such a fool, what makes you say that?”.

“You just said you missed me!”.

His face heated, and you mistook the embarrassment for anger as he yelled, “I didn’t!”.

“Liar! I clearly heard you say it!” you shouted, crossing your arms over your chest as you glared at him.

“You heard me wrong,” he said. “Why would I even say that? I barely even know you” he lied. It must have been a very good lie to you as your breath trembled with irritation, you said, “idiot” and fled the corridor. 

You can never understand Tom, you wish that you have the ability to read minds, and then perhaps you can understand the mess in between the two of you. Sometimes it feels like you can’t understand anyone but him, and sometimes you feel like you can trust everyone but him. 

He makes you feel so conflicted.

It was a day like any other day in Tom’s eyes, ordinary days with the continuous routine that never ends, he didn’t hate it. It was July, he would go play by the swings but the idea of going there quickly left his brain, it was so humid and the books his mum left for him were much more interesting, more fascinating than the sight of children yelling at each other.

“Can we go to the playground? It’s so boring here”, you asked impatiently as your feet bounced on the ground, too eager to leave and go play with others your age. “I can teach you how to read” Tom calmly said, opening his giant book further and allowing you to take a peek.

Victoria was always proud that Tom learned how to read very quickly, he would read long passages that some people older than him struggle at. Whilst you acted your age. “I don’t want to read, let’s go play” you repeated, “Victoria will come home and she would force me to read anyway” you added.

“This is why you need to learn how to read now, I can’t always help you cheat” Tom simply stated. You felt the need to snatch his book and throw it out the window, but you knew how much it meant to him. “Fine, I will go by myself,” you said and dashed to the door, you were too quick for Tom to stop you. 

With obvious reluctance, Tom decided to follow you to the playground. He would take his book with him and read it there while watching out for you. It’s always been like that, as much as Victoria tells him that he is a child as well and he doesn’t need to watch over (Y/N), he thought that he had to. 

You were too excited to go to the playground, not only to play but because of Aisha. Victoria’s friend that was so nice to you would always invite you inside her home, and hand you the most delicious chocolate chip cookies sometimes paired with green tea, which you despised, and always handed your drink to Tom. 

He would follow you to Aisha’s house of course, not because he liked her. She was a kind lady, she had a kind husband, and her offspring, Oliver and Emily were kind too. They were all too painfully kind that it alarmed him. So, he would follow you there and watch Aisha teach you about magic and help you strengthen your abilities. She never helped Tom, but if he asked for some guidance, she wouldn’t mind helping him, but mostly she focused on you.

Right now in the playground, after you played so hard and roughhoused some children off the swings, you were exhausted which meant it was time to visit Aisha’s home for an afternoon bite. “Emily said she would do my hair, make it look straight like her,” you said excitedly. 

“Your hair right now is fine,” Tom said, glancing at you as you glared at him, “no it’s not, anyways, Aisha said she reckons she has some old dress that belonged to Emily and she would give it to me!”. 

“You already have enough dresses” Tom watered your flame again, but you ignored him and continued to say, “that dress is different, also don’t you think it’s strange that Victoria never took us to take a family picture?”.

“No, to rent a cameraman it’s expensive,” he said, his words hung tightly over the humid air and the glare of the afternoon sun. You didn’t like to play with Tom, he was better than you in many things but the thing that you disliked the most about him is the way he would act older than his age. So, you didn’t think too much about the effect your words would have on Tom as you said, “I hate playing with you! you act like you’re older than you are”.

You stopped walking as a protest, to show how upset you were with him. “It’s your time to grow up too! We will go to Hogwarts in few years and you’re still fighting to play on the swings”.

With anger, you screamed, glared at him for long moments with a sharp stare that made him slightly nervous about what you’re going to do next. Thankfully, you only sped your walking to Aisha’s home. Walked straight inside without bothering with knocking. 

“My My, those two had a fight,” Emily said with a giggle, she was cleaning the cupboard next to the main door. You quickly went to hug the tall girl, you fancied Emily, like an older sister. She was whom you aspire to be when you grow up, a smart and beautiful girl with very short and stylish hair locks. “Ready to do your hair?” she offered joyfully.

“After eating cookies?” you asked coyly with an opposite mischievous grin on your face, Emily giggled again and pointed to the kitchen, “Mama’s already waiting for you with fresh cookies!”. 

You let a happy sound and rushed to the kitchen, Tom slowly and awkwardly following you as if you didn’t trespass your way through their home. Before Tom could exit the living room, his eyes caught sight of a fancy book with a handsome blue cover. Emily’s eyes followed his gaze, she leaned and handed him the book, “I finished reading it, you can have it!”.

“No thank you, miss” he politely refused.

Insistent, she pressured, “you’ll love it! The main character reminds me of (Y/N)”. Slowly, Tom accepted the book, read the title: Alice in wonderland.

Emily's grin widened as she added, “maybe reading this book will help you understand (Y/N) better”, this set the deal for Tom and he took it from her. “I have a better deal, Tom!” Emily said happily, catching Tom off-guard.

“Yes, miss?”.

“If you help me run my errand nearby then you get to keep the book forever”.

This was difficult, if he had to leave with Emily then this means he will leave you here. He does trust Aisha, a bit but he didn’t like the idea of being away from you as this equated to being helpless if anything were to happen to you. But then again, what would happen to you? 

Especially in exchange for this fancy book, after long moments he finally decided. 

He would accompany Emily in exchange for the book, and maybe after few years when (Y/N) finally learns how to read harder words he would gift it to her. 

Running an errand with Emily was surprisingly fun, they visited the nearby orphanage and made some deliveries from the church in exchange for some silver pennies. Tom was very thankful that he wasn’t placed in an orphanage. He was aware that Victoria wasn’t his mum, but she took care of him very well. 

In this entire world, the orphanage had to be Tom’s least favorite place. It was very plain and miserable. They all dressed the same and in only monochrome, they were not allowed to have sweets or to read past the afternoon, and most annoying thing is that everything they had to do would be an adult making them do it. It’s as if they didn’t think for themselves, and Tom hated that the most.

Still, the outing with Emily was quite pleasing. She did have many errands to run, and many minimal jobs to do to get paid in silver or golden pennies, it really depended on the job but they were many jobs. She even treated Tom for ice cream, and he felt guilty having a sweet without (Y/N), “it’s fine, I bet she ate your share of the cookies too” Emily joked.

He only smiled out of politeness, “anyways Tom, what do you know about Hogwarts? I didn’t go there you know”.

Tom was aware that there were different magical schools than Hogwarts, “you went to Uagadou?”.

“That’s right! It’s a very big school in Africa, every start of summer I would take the ship with Oliver and go to Morroco, rent a hotel and wait for our portkeys to arrive, do you know what’s a portkey Tom?”.

The sun was setting, and the orange sky was getting tainted with the lilac clouds and horizon. “I’m familiar” he answered proudly, Emily chuckled and said, “well the portkey would take us to the gate of the school, and we would then have an opening ceremony,” she stopped her speech to give a graceful sigh and continued, “it was magnificent”.

“Why didn’t you go to Hogwarts?” Tom asked curiously.

“Because I wanted to go to Uagadou” she simply answered. 

It was getting late, and Tom suddenly realized he was gone for more than seven hours, so he urged Emily, “let’s go to your house, (Y/N) and I need to go home now”.

“Alright, Alright!” Emily said, and quickly walked with him. The boy was running, and she tried to keep up with his steps, “Tom! Slow down please!”.

He didn’t slow his pace, his eyes were continuously darting up to the sky to make sure that the orange parts weren’t fully consumed by the navy blue, as it meant it was nighttime and (Y/N) was scared of the dark, and nighttime wasn’t very safe.

“Tom you will fall down and hurt yourself!” Emily said, the second she kept up with Tom’s pace she realized it’s because they reached her home. He waited for her to open the door, still on his manners, she inhaled in a deep breath and invited him inside.

Aisha was sitting in the living room knitting, by herself. “Where is (Y/N)?” Tom immediately asked the older woman, “Oh… she went home”.

“What? by herself? When?”.

Aisha glanced at the mirror, “I’m not sure, sorry dear I was knitting and I lost track of time-“Tom didn’t give the woman a chance to finish her words, as he dashed out of the house and quickly ran back home. His heart beating very quickly in his ears, his face was very hot but his body was very cold. He was so anxious. 

Victoria told them many times that they must never wander at night, that it was so dangerous. His heart was beating very quickly that he thought he might pass out. He witnessed many drunkards just leaving the pubs, singing off-key terrible war songs. 

Some teenage boy even tried to stop Tom and attempt to mug him, but Tom was too quick and too smart for him to get caught by a mugger. Finally, he could see the building that contained the small flat. He climbed up the stairs breathlessly and bounced on the last step a bit too carelessly, almost making him fall and break his nose.

He pushed the door a bit too harshly, as his head frantically turned around searching for you. There you were, sitting on the floor as you flipped through one of his books. It was a book with many pictures, you glanced up at Tom and grinned, “finally, you’re home, I was waiting for you to read me this book”.

Tom swaggered his way towards you, after shutting and locking the door of course. “Victoria isn’t home yet, so if you read this to me I can memorize it and tell her” you suggested, showing the page to Tom that slumped next to you. 

Finally, you took a good look at his face, his pale face turned pink and he was huffing as if he just ran a marathon. You glanced at the window, it was night, putting two and two together, you placed the book away and brought Tom in a hug.

He gladly accepted the hug and stared onto the window, it was very dark now as if the sun was never there in the first place. Actually, Tom feared the dark just as much as you did, and you knew that very well.

Tom avoided you at all costs, he would ignore you when he was forced to be in the same space as you.

Which was almost half the time, you two had a shared circle of friends. If a machete swung and tried to cut the tension between you and Tom, it wouldn’t be able to do so, it was so thick. So uncomfortable, for you and everyone around you. 

As conflicted as ever, you weren’t sure about the avoidance and acting as if the other doesn’t exist. Sometimes it felt right, but mostly it felt wrong. Yes, he did make you angry, but time had passed and so far the fight just looks stupid.

You did want it to end, you want to freely speak to Tom and for him to finally look you in your eyes. But you were a coward, there was no possible way you could walk up to him, demand that he stops pretending you do not exist. 

But as days rolled into weeks, and it turned into a whole month since that day. The snow was starting to melt but it was still cold for anyone to leave the warmth of the castle. So, you decided to spend most of your time in the library. Just like Tom was avoiding you, you’re going to do the same thing.

Studying wasn’t hard for you anymore, and you started understanding what was being said in your classes and felt comfortable getting an A (Acceptable, it was much better than dreadful or a troll) on your OWLs. 

This day was different, instead of spending your whole day cooped up inside the library and studying. You decided you would spend the day alone, not because you had to but because you wanted to. Being by yourself wasn’t such a bad thing lately.

Your friends are great, but this time you wanted to spend the day inside your head alone and just recharge the energy used up.

Sitting by yourself in one of the dusty staircases, this time you had the book Walburga suggested you read in your hands. The bookmark you stole from Abraxas wasn’t with you, as you were sure you won’t stop reading. 

Reading was nice, it made the time pass quicker and it made you forget your reality. 

The staircase was rarely cleaned, as no one used it anyway, or that’s what you thought as you stumbled upon a boy sitting there, but as he raised his head from his arms you realized this was Malcolm. 

“Hi!” you nervously called, hugging your book closer to you and wondering if you should just go back to your dorm. He clearly looked like he wanted to be alone, but it seemed rather impolite of you if you’d just spotted him and broken his solidarity and left without uttering a word.

“(Y/N)” he called as well, looking at you as you asked, “how are you doing?”.

A genuine question as his eyes were red and it’s obvious that he just bawled his eyes.

He cleared his throat, nodded his head without saying anything. You would have sat next to him and eased him to tell you about everything if he wanted of course, but most importantly to comfort him. But it’s not like you and he were close or anything.

“What are you doing here?” he asked. You lifted the book in between your hands as you answered, “I came here to read, and-“ you almost asked him why he came here, but it must seem invasive, of course, he was aware of his puffy eyes. 

He blinked and looked at the window next to him, as he said, “come sit here”.

“No it’s fine I’m gonna look for somewhere else-“.

“I insist.” Malcolm interrupted you.

Slowly, you nodded and walked towards him and sat at a safe distance next to him, your book on your lap as you fiddled with the edge of the book, glancing at Malcolm from time to time. “So, what’s new with you?” he started.

You finally realized that he needed a distraction from whatever’s going on with him, so you answered, “loads of things, really”.

He grinned, happy that you’re willing to distract him, “like what?”.

“First of all, professor Slughorn, his classes are so- so…useless? He doesn’t teach us anything useful, after every class I have to go and teach myself things and it’s already hard considering I lost my memories!” you ranted, Malcolm laughed and agreed to your words.

“Next thing is Orion’s birthday is coming up soon and I have absolutely no idea what to get him,” you halted, allowing Malcolm to add his thoughts, “he does seem like someone difficult to get a present for, he isn’t interested in books and doesn’t seem like someone who enjoys chocolate frogs or any “childish snacks” it’s going to be hard”.

“Exactly! And he has everything, really, so it’s really hard” you added.

Then both of you fell silent, not the heavy silence. He glanced at your book, lifted his eyebrow, and said, “that is a good book”.

“Really?” you said, lifting it and flipping its pages carelessly as if you would suddenly find a sign that made it interesting. You still didn’t start it but you were sure that it would be a good one, Walburga was unique and if she finds something fun then it ought to be fun. She was just like that.

“Walburga recommended it to me, she’s been telling me to read it for months now,” you said recalling that time you were all in the library at Christmas vacation, time does fly and now easter vacation was right around the corner along Orion’s birthday.

As you glanced at Malcolm, his guilty look told you that he was going to ask something sensitive. You weren’t too worried about that, you can handle yourself and you weren’t afraid to set a boundary and a red line for him not to cross. So, you patiently waited for him to say what he had to say.

“Are they nice to you? I mean your friends?” he asked with more pity for it to be a concern. “They’re nice to me” you answered. He didn’t seem to believe you, and you weren’t worried about trying to convince him that your friends were fantastic. “Really? I never imagine them…” he strengthened his tone as he said the last word then continued, “to be nice, it isn’t exactly fitting to them, don’t you agree?”.

You let a silent exhale, “you don’t know them that well, so to you it might seem as if they’re evil but they’re kind to me and make me feel welcomed”.

Malcolm didn’t pressure you further, you changed the subject, “what are you going to do on easter’s vacation?”.

He hummed as if to think deeply about it, which was a bit silly to you as the vacation starts next week. “I’m going home, mum wants Minerva to come back home and change her mood, she thinks that maybe staying at school will make her depressed since she’d…you know”.

You nodded, he was referring to the last messy Quidditch match. “I think I would spend the whole time in my village, the nature there is different than here also the Potters are hosting their annual easter-“ he stopped speaking, realizing he talked to you about someone you weren’t on good terms with. You chuckled and gestured for him to continue. 

He didn’t and asked you instead, “and you?”.

“I’m going to be at Hogwarts, celebrate Orion’s birthday here” you shortly answered.

He slowly nodded, “well, good luck picking a gift for him!” he said, standing up and you were so glad that he was leaving. The conversation felt prolonged, and you were itching to open your book and read.

Malcolm dusted his robes, smiled at you, and said, “I hope I get to talk with you again soon” you only him a mirrored smile and a nod as you watched him walk away. Once he left you quickly opened the book, and allowed your eyes to scan to the first paragraph.

But before you could read more, a strange bird fled to you from the window. Dark and unique, had a letter securely tied onto its leg. If the bird didn’t sit on your lap you wouldn’t have paid much attention to it, and simply would have relocated your place if it clung to you. Also, the letter was signed in your name.

Untying the letter from the leg, the bird shot out; must not be waiting for a response.

Slowly, you opened the letter as you read the lines, it wasn’t handwriting that you recognized, it was a typewriter.

I hope all of your days are filled with pain and tears, I hope you never find peace ever. You betrayed me and I will never ever forgive you. I don’t think you will apologize either you sick bitch, because between us both you know that you won. 

You won because I helped you, don’t you ever think for one second that you deserve your new life. 

If I see you I will kill you, I can’t believe I once viewed you as my sister and trusted you. It’s my fault that I trusted you, it’s my fault that I believed your lies and now you have your perfect life. If I see you I swear to you that I will kill you myself and dance on your grave.

-The person you betrayed.

Your hands trembled; the letter fell from between your fingers as your hands shot to cover your face. Who in this world did you betray? Who did you hurt that they were so in pain they decided to send you such letter? 

With a shaky breath, you tried to calm down your breath as your heart pace quickened too. “What’s going on?”.

Your head snapped up to gaze at the intruder, Tom. His back straight, eyes looking down on you as you quickly clawed the letter from the dusty ground. “What are you doing here?” you asked. “I should be the one asking you that,” he said.

Right. This was the staircase leading up to the seventh floor that was usually empty. The same level that had the room of requirements; Tom’s discovery as he likes to pretend. You didn’t answer him, knowing that starting something with him will possibly end in an argument, as it always did, and you were in no mood to argue. 

“What’s that in your hands?” he said, more of a demand than a genuine question. “Nothing that concerns you”. 

“Give it to me”. 

Confused, you looked up at him “no, just leave me alone”.

He didn’t say anything, simply stared at you as you sighed and looked at the window next to you; hoping you would spot that unique bird and perhaps receive more information about the sender of this letter-

The letter was snatched from between your fingers, your head snapped to glare at Tom that had the letter in his hands. “Give it to me!” you cried, stood up, and attempted to snatch it from him but he simply lifted the paper above you, “I said give it back!” you cried whilst he avoided your hits and kicks as he read all the contents.

Once he finished, he said, “who sent you this?” flipping the paper in between his hands. “You know I lost my memories!” you yelled, taking the letter from him as you slotted it inside your book and looking away. “Well, do you have any idea who it might be?”.

“Of course not” you answered. 

“Maybe it could be from the people that abducted you”.

“Dumbledore said they’re all in some hidden prison-“.

“Azkaban?” he pressured, you rolled your eyes as you said, “no, Pous”.

You watched him as you said lastly, “everyone is there according to Dumbledore”.

“Well Dumbledore is a liar, or he may not know about this person but they’re not in that prison for sure” Tom announced, “we need to find who sent this to you,” he said, taking the book from your hands and finding the letter easily as he pocketed it in his robes.

“Why should I even trust you?” you said, crossing your arms and eyeing him suspiciously. He scoffed, “do you ever use that head of yours instead of using it as decoration? We made that unbreakable vow, I’m not going to betray you”.

His words were meant to calm you and to warm you up, but he worded it in a way that made you glare at him one last time before shaking your head and taking your book from him, “finished reading your muggle book yet?” he asked.

Knowing what he meant, you did tell him once that you can never seem to be able to flip to that last page of any boo, which was why you liked reading that book with Abraxas as it was a series and you never had to completely say goodbye to these characters. “No” you answered.

“You should finish it” he casually said.

“Don’t tell me what to do” you finally said, taking few steps at a time with your hand on the railing as you descended to the sixth floor. He watched you, sighing then took out the letter in his pocket, wondering who would send you such letter.

The following morning, which was a warm morning and you neglected wearing your striped scarf that morning. It was a pleasant morning if you ignored the fact someone sent you a hate letter. It was a pleasant day, as usual, Abraxas was sitting next to you and rambling about how he almost studied at Durmstrang.

“I don’t understand, weren’t you living here? Why would they send you a letter?” you said, munching on an egg pastry. Abraxas eyes shone with happiness; he liked it when you asked questions relating to a topic he was speaking about, just so he gets to talk about himself more.

“Because of my mum she insisted that I go to the school she studied in” he answered, sipping on his tea then continued, “my mum is Russian”.

Nancy frowned, turned to face Abraxas as she asked, “your mother is Russian?”. The boy nodded with wide eyes as if to say “Obviously”.

“I just thought she liked to fake an accent!” Walburga said instead of Nancy that gasped, the boy simply rolled his eyes and complained, “if only you guys ever listened to me, I have been telling you this story since first-year” his hands on your shoulders as he shook you gently, “the only person that listens to me is (Y/N)”.

Abraxas rested his head on your shoulder very softly, while Walburga and Nancy watched him with fake disgust, “I still don’t get how someone lives in a place and gets a letter from a different school” you said once Abraxas straightened his position. 

“Yeah, I think it’s strange too” Nancy affirmed, before Abraxas could clear his side of the story, Tom cut him, saying, “you can send an application to the school you want to study in, regardless of where you live” his eyes were glued to the book in his hands, the rest of you were surprised that he joined your mundane conversation. 

“Wait, so if I live here but want to study in Beauxbatons I could just send an application and they will accept me?” Walburga said, “the priority goes to those who already live close, then you who have another opportunity which is Hogwarts” he answered, his eyes flicking up to look at Walburga.

“How do you know so much about that?” you doubted.

He shrugged his shoulders, “I knew someone who lived in London but went to Uagadou”.

You could tell that the rest of the circle wondered how Tom had other friends, and why he disclosed about his private life. Before Abraxas could change the subject back to him, a hand slammed the end of the table where you all sat. 

Orion was standing there, heaving as he struggled to say, “you’re invited to my birthday”. 

Abraxas accepted an envelope from Orion as he said, “I thought we were going to celebrate your birthday here”. Orion handed you an envelope too and you hesitated to accept it but did when he shook his hand impatiently for you to do so.

“Yes but since it’s coincidentally at the same time of the easter’s vacation my parents said it’s better we do it at home, and you all are invited to come, I won’t take a no” Orion explained, finally sitting down after he handed everyone an invitation.

“Tom, your presence there at the celebration is more than welcome” Orion said, with a hint of a desperate tone that made Walburga hide her giggle. “I will think about it,” Tom said, accepted the envelope, and put it inside his satchel.

Walburga reached to hold your hand across the table, as well as holding Nancy’s hand as she gushed, “it’s going to be so fun! First we will all go to my house and then I get to show you all the cool things I have there-“.

Orion interrupted her, “who said we’re going to your house? We’re going to mine”.

The girl frowned, “who said you’re invited anyways? I was talking to (Y/N) and Nancy-”.

“What about me?!” Abraxas complained, “you’re invited too Abraxas, I just have two hands,” Walburga said, lifting her hands. 

“No way, we’re all going to my house, and then we will get to-“.

“My house!” Walburga screamed, “we will go to my house!” she repeated louder. The table was just growing louder and louder with Orion and Walburga arguing, looking like they would start a fistfight any second now. Nancy trying to calm them down, while Abraxas talked to you very loudly; just so you can hear him.

The chaos was unbelievable, and you waited for Tom to slam his book on the table and leave the commotion as it was a cue for all of them to calm down. When it did, Orion and Walburga sat down, and Nancy slumped in her seat as well.

“You both live very close to each other, why are we even arguing about this?” Nancy said as Abraxas nodded.

“Anyways, just so you all know, I do not require any presents for my birthday,” Orion said, “your presence is enough” he added with a low tone, and it might have slipped from your ears if you didn’t pay attention to him. 

Abraxas and you glanced at each other with knowing looks at the boy saying, in an indirect way of course, that he just wanted to spend the day with his friends. It was heartwarming. Nancy looked at the watch on her wrist, gasped as she stood up, and declared, “class starts in five minutes!”.

Everyone copied her, you were thankful that you didn’t take out anything from your satchel unlike the poor Abraxas that was struggling to fit everything inside his bag, you tried to help him by organizing some of the papers before handing it to him. All whilst Nancy clapped her hands and pressured, “Let’s go! Let’s go! Let’s go!”.

When everyone exited the great hall, Nancy took off in a different direction; she was in a different group than you. Unlike you, Abraxas, Orion, and Tom. You had Potions when she was in a different group that had Divination. Walburga was a sixth year, so you never had a shared class with her. 

Walking to the lower level to the passage leading to the Potions dungeon was less crowded, and because you were all late anyways you decided to briskly walk; you would’ve run the corridors but Orion rolled his eyes and said that if you were late with them Professor Slughorn won’t deduct points from your house.

 “First, for Easter, we will host a private party with Malfoy’s family and Parkinson’s family-“ he was cut by Malfoy that excitedly told you, “it’s going to be in the Parkinson’s estate! Her mum is really fun you will like her”.

Orion completed, unbothered that Abraxas cut him, you can tell that he was excited too. “Then, we will have a private celebration for my birthday, just me and the people I chose-“.

“Just say friends” Abraxas interrupted him.

Orion ignored him, “the second celebration is going to be grand, everyone will be invited like mum said she said it’s going to be a surprise and I’m looking forward to it”.

“I’m happy for you, Orion,” you said and pushed the door to the Potion’s classroom, Slughorn seemed like he was going to say something but stopped once he spotted Orion and Abraxas behind you. Slughorn quickly said, “get to your seats, now, don’t be late again”.

“Understood, professor,” Abraxas said, waving his hand to you as he took his place next to Eileen, and you followed Orion to your working station. Next to Tom, you sat there and hastily opened your notebook to take notes, knowing it’s useless as he wasn’t going to say something useful. 

“My birthday party will be extravagant, and I already prepared things for everyone to wear there,” Orion said when Slughorn turned his back to write something on the blackboard. “You didn’t have to do that, Orion,” you said.

“Oh please, in my previous birthday party Walburga wore some terrible coloured robes, it was a disaster, people talked,” he told you, “Why? do you object?” he asked you, turning to glare at you with his grey eyes. Scary grey eyes.

For very long moments without uttering a word, you could feel your heartbeat resonating to all of your body as your internal organs were slowly shutting down with his intense stare. Orion's stare was intense, and his icy orbs made it even more terrifying. Orion was very passionate about his birthday party, so you forced a smile as you said, “no, I will do anything you want”.

He turned to face the blackboard happily, “it will be very grand and marvelous, everyone will talk about it”. 

The conversation stopped as Slughorn's words started echoing through the dungeon. You lost interest rather quickly, tried to pay attention to what he was saying as it was hard with negative whispers urging you to not pay attention now and simply study later. 

When you finally managed to pay attention, Professor Slughorn finished his words and made you all start working on your potions. Usually, you would accept help from Tom, but he didn’t seem like he was wanting to do charity work today. So, you attempted to recreate the complicated potion all by yourself. 

But as the start of today, and as the rest of your days, luck was never on your side, as you struggled a lot. Every time you tried to cut the beetles they would fly across the room, and you would have to gather the rest of your dignity and go pick them up. 

When you finally copied Tom by squeezing them, and secretly copying everything else he did. You accidentally stirred the potion anti-clockwise. Orion screamed when he noticed what you were doing, “No! not like that it will-“.

He didn’t continue his words as the potion bubbled very quickly, you were pulled from your elbows harshly as your feet stepped on something and stumbling back to the corner of the dungeon. The Potion exploded, your mouth hung open without saying a word, your eyes glued to the potion. 

“Miss (L/N), I wrote on the board no stirring anti-clockwise,” Professor Slughorn said, pointing at the board, that had exactly what he said in very clear handwriting as if it was mocking you. You turned your face to look at who pulled you away from the accident, the last person that occupied a space in your head if he had any, Malcolm McGonagall. 

He helped you stand up, still holding your elbow.

Before you could apologize to Slughorn, Malcolm said, “sorry sir! It was my fault, we studied this before and I taught her the wrong information”.

Slughorn's features lightened, he didn’t seem as angry as before; he didn’t like you very much anyway, and it’s not like you felt indifferent. But you were thankful for Malcolm's words for saving the last ray of hope Slughorn had for you to pass this class. “Oh, in that case, I suppose it’s not too bad, but next time both of you pay more attention”.

“Yes sir”.

“Yes sir”.

As the commotion became lighter, and everyone quickly lost interest in the issue, you glanced at Malcolm, “thanks”.

“don’t mention it, we’re friends”.

You smiled and walked back to your station.

“McGonagall? I swear that boy is very plain I almost forgot he takes this class with us” Orion commented the second you walked back. 

“Don’t say that” you said coldly. 

“What? I’m just saying the truth” Orion excused his rudeness, he looked alarmed as your cold tone was obviously attacking him. Although, he quickly gained back his confidence when Tom agreed to his words, “not very bright, that one”.

“Do you remember in the first year when he fell from his broom?” Orion asked, “I don’t, I don’t pay attention to plain people like him”.

“Yes, yes me too” Orion quickly fixed his words. 

Their little snarky conversation undermining Malcolm was making you angry with each second that passes, Slughorn told everyone to finish up, and you didn’t feel like looking at your failed potion -or what was left from it- so you packed your things.

Once the bell rang, and you swung your satchel on your shoulder and waited for Abraxas to approach you. Once he did both of you walked outside the dungeon, in the corner of your eyes you spotted Eileen rolling her eyes at you. 

Quickly you turned to face her, and something in you told you she might be the person that sent you that letter. Your eyes scanned her with a raised eyebrow, she looked back at you with a slight glare, “Prince” you called. 

She stopped walking, just as you did with Abraxas in the middle of the corridor with bothered students wanting to head to their next classes. “Is there something you want to tell me?” you asked, “no, if you excuse me I have to get to my next class” Eileen said, her eyes dropping to the floor as she attempted to walk away.

Angry, you dropped your transfiguration book as you hopped and held her elbow, then spun her to look back at you, “did you send me that letter?”. She frowned and freed herself from your grip, “what are you talking about? Let me go!”.

“You know what I’m talking about! You sent it to me, we both know how much you hate me!” you shouted, shaking her as your head pounded aggressively. “What is going on?” you can hear Orion ask Abraxas, and usually the fact that other people were watching you would’ve made you calm down a bit. But it didn’t.

Not when your heart was going crazy, and the only thing that seemed fit was holding Eileen by her collar as you screamed onto her face, “did you think it would make me scared?! Because I’m not! I will crush you with my bare hands if I-“.

“I told you I didn’t! let me go! What are you doing?!” Eileen cried.

“I’m (Y/N)! (Y/N)! I don’t get scared by weaklings like you!”.

Her sharp nails clawed at your wrists, “you will go to hell!” she screamed, “great! I will drag you with me then!” you hissed, finally let her off as she fixed her collar and said, “I don’t know what you’re talking about!”.

You fisted your robes for your wand but stopped when you were pulled by your wrist. It was Tom, dragging you behind him, “let me go!” you said and continuously hitting his back. He abruptly stopped in the middle of the corridor, his eyes shining with anger, his face only inches apart from your own.

He looked terrifying, and at that moment it finally occurred to you that he was the one that unleashed a monster. That he was the same person looking up for Horcruxes, the darkest form of magic you ever heard of. It was finally set in your head that this man was the same one plotting the murder of the strongest wizard of this century. You undermined him a lot, and it was a miracle that he didn’t throw you to that monster looming in the chamber of secrets.

Heart still pounding fearfully in your ribcage, you watched him glare at you, his hold around your wrist was painful and it was the only thing bringing you back to earth.

“Don’t move” he hissed, a dangerous tone that quickly made you calm down and follow him obediently. He dragged you to an opposite direction of where the students were walking, and it wasn’t hard walking opposite them as they all made a place for the infamous Tom Riddle to walk.

Finally, after two minutes of walking and the last student you’d last spotted was so far, in the closest broom closet, he shoved you there and followed you as he swished his wand; making the closet sound-proof.

“Are you mental?! Didn’t I say not to draw attention to yourself and to stay out of trouble?!” he yelled, with a booming voice that made you shudder and look at the ground. “What the hell was that?” he hissed, resting his back to the wall across you. 

“I just wanted to know if she sent me that letter” you whispered, hoarse as you felt like you might cry at any second especially with your heart going crazy.

“I told you I would figure that on my own, so don’t go around acting crazy and bringing trouble to yourself,” he said with a scoff, “that was the most irrational thing you ever did, and you’re crazy so that is not an exaggeration” he added.

Your eyes flicked to meet his, he sighed and asked, “why did you even do that?”.

You didn’t give him a response, your eyes watering and you were just thankful that he wasn’t shouting anymore; that made you feel worse. He pressured you to answer him with a forceful hum, so you admitted, “because I’m scared”.

“What?” he frowned.

Your lips turned downwards, you hoped that your tears won’t come rushing down any second now, “I’m scared, I feel like everyone despises me and that someone might jump and kill me at any given second”.

Before he could speak, and possibly say some degrading words at your perhaps unnecessary fear. You stopped him with a gesture as you completed, “you might think that I’m being a coward, but put yourself in my shoes”.

Crossing your arms over your chest, just to find some solace even though your insides were going through the worst tornado of emotions. 

Why is your life like this? You cannot live a single day peacefully, it’s always problems upon problems thrust on you. 

You were only fifteen. 

Tom wanted to embrace you, to pat your head and tell you that you weren’t a coward. That in fact, you were being completely reasonable, being scared is completely valid especially with everything threatening your existence. He wanted to allow you to cry onto his shoulder, and then wipe your tears and tell you something nice, something you wanted to hear.

But not everything he wanted to happen would happen, not after you showed up in his life. He became anxious, couldn’t think straight, and often messed up. He was scared too, that if he told you about his truth, that he might be catching onto memories you had no idea of. That he would be the one clinging to things that were in the past. So, it’s better not to tell you all together.

“I’m so young, this shouldn’t happen to me,” you said shaking your head, “my worries shouldn’t be about who’s going to kill me it should be what dress am I wearing at the next marvelous party I’m attending!” you complained. 

Tom didn’t utter a word, and it was okay, you didn’t want him to tell you few empty words. You just wanted someone near you while you complained and cried. “What did I do to deserve this?” you whispered.

“I think about this every day too” Tom whispered.

You looked at him as he said, “my father kicked out my mother when she was pregnant with me, and when she died while giving birth I was discarded in an orphanage”, you bit the corner of your mouth, gazing at him as he avoided your stare.

“All those years, I was treated as a freak and a monster,” he said, “believe me…I get you more than anyone else, what is happening to us isn’t our fault it’s the world’s fault, it gave us such lives and we were treated by other people like that”.

You wiped the tear, not realizing that you were crying.

“We cannot let this world win, it put us through hell so we should give it hell.” he said.

Chapter Text

Nancy flipped her hair behind her shoulder, looking straight as students made way for her to walk through the narrow hall of the Hogwarts Express, You were struggling to walk through as everyone quickly huddled to crowd once Nancy passed.

However, the girl scoffed and looked very bothered as she turned around to glare at you and extended her hand for you to hold, “can you walk any slower?”.

“I’m trying my best” you excused yourself, finally coming to a free spot as she clasped her hand around yours and dragged you to the designated compartment your friends always used, and nobody else was allowed to use. Once arriving, she slid the door open and gestured for you to enter faster, clearly annoyed by the crowd or you being slow, you weren’t quite sure.

Abraxas tapped the spot next to him, one that reserved for you, “you two are late!” Orion complained. Nancy quickly shut him off with a wave of her hand. The compartment was lacking Walburga. Tom was sitting by the window, a book in his hand as he flipped through the pages, like usual. Orion next to Tom, and Nancy next to Orion. Abraxas sitting across Tom, you next to him and Walburga’s spot was still vacant.

Upon hearing noise outside the compartment, and the door sliding open, you knew Walburga arrived with card games in her hands. “I had to run from Hogsmeade to Hogwarts! Just so I could get these” she lifted her hands, proudly showcasing card games.

Orion flicked her a certain look, shaking his head as Walburga sat next to you.

The train hissed and soon the wheels rolled, it moved and you were so excited for the trip to London with your friends. Different from the first time you rode the train, you weren’t anxious and didn’t feel like you didn’t belong. even though your robes were lined with a warm shade of yellow, and the Hufflepuff badge was clear, unlike your friends that were clad in dark green lined robes, Slytherin badges shinning. You felt like you belonged right in this circle.

Walburga distributed cards between the players, which was the whole circle including Tom that decided he would join one match and continue his reading. “First night is going to be at my home” Walburga said, and Orion didn’t refuse or throw a fit, they must’ve negotiated and came to an agreement.

“We will have so much fun, without Orion of course” she said, the boy kicked her leg with his foot. She didn’t mind as the wanted effect was to annoy him. “My house is big so everyone gets their own bedroom, there aren’t any rules in my home except screaming of course, mum hates loud noises”.

“Then the next morning you will come to my home for the easter’s hunt” Nancy cut Walburga, “it’s going to be fantastic” she added with a proud nod. Orion finally jumped onto the conversation and said, “then we will go to my home, I planned activities to do before my birthday party”.

Tom turned to face Abraxas, asked him with sudden interest, “we’re not visiting your family?”.

You knew he just wanted to establish a good bond with the pure-blooded families so he can be elected for minister of magic few years later. He really was sharp and calculating.

Abraxas innocently glowed when receiving attention from Tom, “no but as you know summer vacation will be spent at my home”.

“Such a shame, I can’t go” Tom said, glancing at you.

No one was surprised, it’s not as if Tom ever spent summers with them, the orphanage would never allow him. Thankfully, the subject was shut quickly and talks about the party surfaced once again. Hours passed and the trolley witch came, Walburga bought snacks for everyone, you were guilty that she spent her own allowance for everyone.

It seemed as if everyone was used to this, but you weren’t.

After the playing, eating and laughing you grew tired. You rested your head over Abraxas’s head; as he already felt comfortable to rest his head on your shoulder. “I chased him,” Walburga said, her thumb pointing at Orion and continued, “holding a roach and running behind him, he was screaming and crying! Losing his brain and turning insane-“.

“It was a roach! You would have the same reaction!” Orion shook his head, frustrated that he became the laughingstock for everyone. “I wouldn’t! and you know why? Because I can easily just-“ she stopped speaking and stomped her feet.

“Anyways, mum didn’t let me visit them for a month” Orion said with a grin, shrugging his shoulders.

The spring in your heart was blossoming as you stepped onto King’s Cross station, arms linked with Nancy and Abraxas. Walburga was walking in the front, guiding everyone outside platform nine and three quarters.

It was late, and although you did nothing but laugh and eat all throughout the trip, you wanted to rest your head on a pillow quickly. Walburga balanced herself on her heels, anxiously looking around for the person that would drive her. Finally, she leaped up eagerly and pointed at a man, not looking like her at all, wearing a respectful suit, “that’s our driver, let’s go”.

She ushered everyone before her, and as you all climbed inside the car, you examined it. It was a vintage car, old but clean and polished.

No one really talked through the way, you can hear Abraxas and Walburga chatting. But you were too exhausted to speak, and you turned your face to the side as you watched the bewitched car slip and squeeze through the passing cars.

Finally, after dropping Orion at 12^th Grimmauld place, the car stopped before a Victorian styled house, not isolated and it looked very similar to Orion’s home. The car parked and Walburga excitedly took happy steps inside her home.

Everyone followed her, completely ignoring the man throwing up next to the threshold, he would take deep heaves of breath and then continue to puke his guts. You frowned, sympathizing with him as you knew he must’ve felt very horrible.

You walked towards the man, asked hopefully, “sir? Would you like to drink water?”.

He lifted his head, you hoped he wouldn’t look you in the eyes just to call you a racial slur. After all, he was a white man. You two locked eyes as he breathed heavily, he had grey eyes. Intense icy glare and familiar short black hair.

This man was related to Walburga, the Black family in general. You thought confidently.

His skin was pale, looking sickly and losing all it’s vibrance, he forced himself to say, “yes and thank you”.

Your eyebrows connected in pity, “okay just a second”, your eyes spotted the firewhiskey bottle next to him, you took it and swished your wand and chanted the aguamenti spell, you handed it back to him.

He downed the water, struggling to breath as he’d dropped the bottle again on the floor, “sir you need to stop drinking” you advised, feeling that it was an appropriate thing to say especially as you felt comfortable that he was a wizard and was related to Walburga.

Speak of the devil, Walburga screamed, “(Y/N)! don’t talk to strangers and come here!”, breaking her own rule about being loud. Before you could tell her that the man was related to her, Nancy pulled you from your arm and pushed you inside the house. “Come on now, we do not speak to strangers especially men, you know that” she berated gently.

Your legs dangled mindlessly on the edge of the couch, holding a book, and pretending to ignore Victoria complimenting Tom. “You’re so smart! So gifted!” she admired happily, the boy smiled and allowed her to pet his hair while he read her the story of Alice in wonderland.

“Not one mistake! You did so well Tom, I’m so proud of you” Victoria said again when Tom read a difficult word without a struggle. You glared at him from between your hand and the book, he noticed you but ignored it, too busy basking in Victoria’s compliments.

You were angry at him, when it was your turn for you to read a passage to Victoria, he didn’t whisper the words to you like he’d usually do. He stopped doing that for a long while and usually it doesn’t bother you, but since you opened your eyes in this morning.

Witnessing Victoria clearly play favorites, and then Tom forced you to sit by him so he can teach you how to read. Every time you’d get a wrong word he would sigh; the same way Victoria does when you get a mistake. It drove you mad.

But you were angrier because Tom seemed much closer to Emily when you visited Aisha earlier, the two were speaking and ignoring you. The only person that cared for you was Aisha, and it even did make you wonder if she was your mother rather than Victoria.

Everyone loved Tom better, it wasn’t bothering you but it bothered you that they weren’t scared to show it to you. No one cared about your feelings.

“(Y/N) come on let’s study” Victoria called.

You ignored her, continuing to flip through the photo book.

“(Y/N)” she repeated firmly.

Still pretending as if you don’t hear her, you yawned with boredom.

“(Y/N)!” Victoria barked angrily, walking, and seizing the book from you. With a glare in your eyes, you breathed heavily as you watched her, “stand up and let’s study” she demanded, taking you from your palm and you can see Tom uneasily watching the scene unfold.

You freed your hand from hers, “I don’t want to”.

“We will study and you will learn how to read, how come you don’t know how to read like Tom?” Victoria shook her head, you snatched your photo book from her and said, “Tom this and Tom that! you don’t care about me! You only like teaching me so you make me feel stupid!”.

“Don’t be silly, I’m teaching you because I want you to be educated” Victoria strictly said, taking you from your wrist and making you follow her to the study table. “Tom do your math-“.

You screamed as loud as you can and taking your hand away from her hold as you pushed her from you, “I hate you! you’re not my mum!”.

Before she could hold you again and take the hair comb from the vanity and hit your palms. You sprinted to the door, screamed, “I’m going to kill myself and it’s going to be your fault!”, with your last words you exited the flat in the middle of the night and dashing out of the building.

The streets were dimly lit with old street lamps, not helping you find your way to anywhere. Since the cheapest flat Victoria could get, that also welcomed black folks was in a shady neighborhood, you can hear the sound of drunken men laughing, the sound of kittens fighting by the bins.

You didn’t have anywhere to go, and although you considered going to Aisha’s you didn’t want to disturb the woman and her family in the middle of the night. So the only other place in your head was the playground.

Although it was dark, and everything around you screamed danger in the dark. You weren’t scared, you were too angry and too sad to feel anything else. Running your way towards the playground, uncaring if your loud steps were going to alarm any dangers to you.

Once you reached, you slumped inside the slide and hid your face inside your arms, hugging your knees as you cried.

Silly thoughts were circulating your head, if she was your mother then she should make you the favorite and not Tom. She always goes around commenting about how Tom makes her proud, he can only read and do some math. This was unfair, he was the one blessed with smarts and the ability to learn quickly.

But this doesn’t mean that Victoria should make you feel stupid, or that Tom should make you feel stupid. You were still a growing child, and as much as you pretended to deny it, you wanted to be appreciated and you wanted your feelings to be validated.

You sobbed, and wondered if Aisha would be bothered if you knocked on her door at night.

“(Y/N)” it was Tom.

Flinching, but you didn’t lift your head. You felt his heat as he scooted to sit next to you. “Victoria is worried sick about you” he said.

“I don’t care” you said, in the middle of your sobbing.

“You can’t be angry about studying only, what’s bothering you?” he asked gently, his hand on your back as you sobbed harder at his question.

“Victoria is playing favorites, again, even Emily and Oliver” you struggled to respond but your answer was clear. Finally, you lifted your head to look at him. “They don’t actually favor me, they’re just pitying me” he said making you frown.

“They’re acting this way because my mother died” he stated.

You wiped the tear off your cheek, “don’t make this about you”.

He smiled, a sad smile, “right, the brazen (Y/N)”.

Not realizing your words were harsh, you continued, “you always say it’s because of your dead mother each time I’m upset, stop making everything about you” he wiped your tear, and said, “this is why I like you the most, you don’t pity me”.

“Why would I pity you? if anything you’re the one that pities me because I still can’t read” you said contemptuously.

“I do pity you, there are so many wonderful stories you still don’t know about” he said, straightening your back as you said, “Victoria doesn’t pity you, neither do Emily and Oliver”.

“I don’t know about Victoria, but Oliver and Emily do, between us you’re the one that’s funny and interesting” he said, raising his head to look at the crescent shaped moon.

“Even if they do, it’s their loss anyway, you’re very funny and interesting to me” you said, voice just a tone above a whisper as he turned to look at you again. He smiled sincerely, his face heating up and he was thankful that it was dark so you can’t see the blush or you would endlessly tease him about it.

He stood up, stretched his hand to you, “let’s go home”.

“I don’t want to go yet” you refused.

“It’s dark and dangerous out here” he urged again, “It will be okay, Aisha taught me some hexes” you said, he frowned and pressured by closing and opening his palm, “let’s go”.

You intertwined your fingers with his, and pulled him to sit next to you to look at the moon, “it’s going to be okay, I will protect you”, he didn’t fight this time, he calmed and remained seated next to you and secretly stared at you.

Tom was a bit embarrassed about you protecting him, as he always pretended to protect you when in reality it was you that was stronger and braver, it was you that sheltered him from many things. From the children that often pried his books from him, from the dark and from his nightmares and his insides blaming him for his mother’s death. It was you, and it was always you that protected him.

Tom was glad that it was you and no one else, as nobody else was like you.

Tom Riddle woke up from a dreamless night rest, the ones that makes you forget why you woke up or how you woke up. It was the sun faintly shinning from between the curtains, it was later than he’d usually wake up, but it’s not like he had any classes. It was Easter’s vacation, the one spent at the Black’s house (Walburga earned the first day after a thorough and a stubborn argument with Orion).

He only left Hogwarts to make sure that the pure-blood families knew him, that they trusted him enough for his future when he becomes minister of magic. He had another secret reason, one that he had been fighting since he had decided he would come along this trip. That he came to protect you, that the person plotting your death wouldn’t have a chance.

He shook his head in disbelief as he thought of it again.

The Blacks lived their days lavishly, it’s why he got to have his own room. He got ready for the day, and then exited the bedroom to be met with a house elf. The elf led him to the dinning room, allowing Tom to turn his head secretly to observe his surroundings, ones that he’d already missed.

It was still relatively early, the dinning room only had Alphard; Walburga’s very annoying older brother, seemingly like he didn’t sleep to begin with, and was just there to possibly to quench his hunger after a full night -and a morning- of drinking.

“Tom! The one and only, come sit!” Alphard greeted, not too drunk but not too sober either.

To be frank, Tom didn’t like Alphard one bit. For many reasons really, but the one that made him convinced that the man was nothing but a rotten one, was the way he’d clearly been flirting with (Y/N). It disgusted Tom so much, you were younger, you were clearly uninterested or oblivious.

If the rest noticed Alphard advances, which Tom was sure they did, as it wasn’t very faint. Then they were not doing a perfect job of protecting you from the drunkard. But it’s not like Walburga would say anything negative about her fabulous brother, and her lovely friend.

“I was going to ask you if you slept well, but I don’t think that it’s an appropriate question” Tom said, sitting many chairs away from Alphard.

The man chuckled, shook his head as he shrugged his shoulders, “young and free, we need to live our days to the fullest don’t you agree?”.

“No” Tom said, with a stern tone and not as faint as he would like it to be. But it got the point across. Alphard grinned, shook his head and continued to stuff his face with the authentic English breakfast before him.

Noises could be heard from the dinning door, Tom pretended to not care as Walburga walked in, dragging you and Abraxas.

“How dare you two?! In my own house?!” she dramatically screeched.

“Wally, I told you nothing happened” you said tiredly, as if you had been repeating the same words for a while now. Abraxas nodded his head honestly, “you know I hate the rain and thunder, so I went to (Y/N)”.

“You two are traitors!” Walburga screamed, “would it have harmed you if you woke me up too?”.

“We did!” Abraxas and you screamed in union, making Walburga gasp in silence and finally recalling last night events. She smiled apologetically, “I’m sorry”.

“Even if they did sleep together, I assure you they wouldn’t sleep together” Alphard said, stating his presence as your eyes wandered across the room to realize him and Tom were there and witnessed the whole argument.

“What is that even supposed to mean?” Walburga scoffed, “I was angry that they forgot about me and had a fun conversation without me” she explained, once realizing her brother had a different meaning. “Honestly, you are disgusting” Walburga scoffed as Alphard shrugged his shoulders.

Abraxas and you exchanged a look, “what does he mean?” the meaning behind your looks. “(Y/N) come sit next to me, tell me about yourself” Alphard invited, patting the chair next to him. You obliged, as you sat you asked, “where is Nancy?”.

“She left early to help her family prepare for easter hunt” Walburga said, gesturing the house elves to serve her guests first before serving her. “Please tell me you’re not going to the boring easter hunt, let me take you somewhere nice” Alphard told you with a whisper, his sister heard him and slammed her palm over the table.

“Alphard! (Y/N) is my friend, certainly not yours!” Walburga screeched.

“Walburga, stop your screaming your father and I just woke up” Mrs. Black, Irma walked to the dining room. Nodding her head in recognition to her daughter’s friends. “You’re making me glad that we sent you to a boarding school” Irma commented, sitting at the head of the table as her husband sat on the opposite head of the table.

“Mama!” Walburga called with embarrassment, “I’m not lying, dear, your voice is quite shrilling” Irma dismissed, turned to face Abraxas that sat on her left side, “Abraxas, is Natalia coming to the easter’s hunt?”.

Tom was aware that Natalia was Abraxas’s mother, so he watched the exchange mindlessly “yes Mrs. Black” Abraxas responded politely.

Irma let a throaty noise, gestured for a house elf to serve her wine. Walburga noticing her mother rude antics rolled her eyes and kicked her mother gently underneath the table, Irma turned to face her daughter tiredly, “dear, I told you that going to the easter’s hunt requires so much of my energy, but I never imagined it would take… this much” she glanced at Abraxas.

“But I’m still doing you a favor and going, so don’t make me regret my decision” she completed.

Irma Black, née Crabbe was a charismatic woman, brutally honest and was often rude to everyone’s face. But in your opinion, it was a bit better as then you would know her feelings easily, she wasn’t a hypocrite. She was aware of your presence and didn’t acknowledge you much.

You didn’t know if you wanted to be thankful for this or not, as 70% of her words were hurtful but honest.

“Mr. Riddle, you’re a prefect?” Pollux said when the table fell onto silence, not complete silence as Alphard had been whispering things in your ear. “Yes sir” Tom replied.

“Walburga, look at your friend you need to be more like him” Pollux said, carelessly as Walburga fumed in her seat and slightly regretted bringing her friends to her home. As her parents had done nothing but embarrass her, she didn’t fully regret it as she was thankful, she didn’t have to face their usual hurtful comparison by herself. Not when you held her hand underneath the table.

It soothed her and made her feel a lot better.

“Your dad is an Auror?” Alphard asked you, as much as you wanted to slip away from the spotlight you couldn’t pretend you didn’t hear him, everyone turned to face you when he talked. “That’s right” you answered softly.

“Really? Who is he?” Pollux asked with interest.

“Zane (L/N)” you answered.

“Oh him… the one that got transferred from the African magic of ministry”.

You nodded.

“So, you joined Hogwarts this year? You’re the transfer student, aren’t you?” Irma asked with more fascination than you’d ever seen since you met her. Walburga answered for you, “yes she transferred this year from Uagadou, but she doesn’t remember anything because of an accident so do not bother her”.

“Is that so?” Pollux said, tightening his gaze at you suspiciously as if he knew something you didn’t know. There was something about the Black family and with their unwavering gazes. Pollux, Walburga, Orion and even Alphard had it. It made you slightly terrified that they knew something you didn’t know.

“She dueled with someone and lost all her memories” Tom clarified, allowing Pollux to lose interest rather quickly.

“Did you think she was that person from the African assassination group? The one that ratted their group and came to live here?” Abraxas said with a proud smile, he knew something that the grown ups knew as well.

Your gaze widened as you and Tom shared a look, afraid that Abraxas would accidentally say something that will allow them to connect the dots.

Pollux tilted his head to the side with interest, Irma put down her wine glass and watched Abraxas continue, “my dad told me about it, he also told me that it’s not a girl it’s a boy a boy that’s older than us so don’t worry it’s not our dearest (Y/N)”.

You sighed internally.

“Did you really doubt (Y/N)?” Alphard asked his father sarcastically, before Pollux could answer Alphard took your wrist and lifted it, “those gentle hands cannot kill, she was the only one that saw me retching my guts out on the threshold and asked if I was okay”.

“So, it was you that- Alphard!” Irma screamed, for the first time with a shrill tone just like Walburga’s.

“You were that stranger!” Abraxas pointed his finger at Alphard with realization. “Yes, that was me, and you three- “Alphard pointed at Walburga, Abraxas and Tom as he continued, “walked right past me while I was dying, including Nancy!”.

“That’s when I realized that she was an angel” Alphard finished smugly, Walburga snorted in her cup as Abraxas shook his head, “(Y/N) is lovely but she is no angel, the other day she held Eileen Prince from her collar and terrorized her about something- it was magnificent”.

“Eileen?! You scared that little weasel?!” Irma clapped her hands happily, gesturing for a house elf to pour spiced wine onto your cup. You kindly shook your head with refusal, a bit distracted as the Black family and Abraxas gossiped about Eileen and the Prince family. “Marvelous!” Pollux commented.

Pollux even repeated the broken record of Eileen ruining Cygnus and Druella wedding, and how much people talked, how scandalous it was. The scenario happening made you realize that Walburga inherited her love for gossip from her father and her shrill voice from her mother that continuously clapped her hands proudly at you, while complementing you.

It made you feel bad. They were happy about a different reason, you did scare her wrongly because it was the only solution you could come up, that she might be the person that sent you that letter.

The commotion didn’t quiet down, and strangely Tom didn’t leave the table as he was known to do when the noise level was unbearable. Alphard fixed your hair, humming gently as you with wide eyes turned to face him.

“You’re not dating anyone right?” he asked.

“No” you obliviously answered just like Tom pictured you would. Completely oblivious and naïve to the man flirting with you, it did make Tom feel scrapped. On one side he was glad that you were oblivious, because if you noticed Alphard liking you then you might share his feelings. But on another side, he was furious that you didn’t put an end to the man flirtations.

You were fifteen and Alphard was eighteen!

“Can you not touch my hair?” you said, pulling yourself to the side and allowing Alphard hand to drop from your hair.

Tom was too proud that he couldn’t hide his grin.

“Do not bother my friend” Walburga warned, sending a side-eyed glare to her brother. “Shut it, Walburga, no one wants to hear you speak” Alphard snapped back.

“Mama! Tell your son to behave!” Walburga complained to her mother.

Irma finished all her wine, set the tall glass on the table, and took a deep sigh as she wearily stated, “Alphard do not speak to your sister like that and do not bother her friends”.

The Black family dynamics was comforting, it felt like a real family that you wished you had and one that you secretly envied.

You didn’t envy them because they were filthy rich, but because they had each other and relied on each other just because they were a family, something you didn’t have. Also, the banter was something you wished you could partake in, because no matter how much they fight you know they love each other endlessly.

Once the breakfast finished, and you hardly and politely of course refused all of Alphard drunken invitations to do something else. It was time to get ready for the easter’s hunt. Your father sent you two elegant robes along with two dresses, it wasn’t much like Walburga’s extensive wardrobe, but it felt great having something of your own that made you feel good and look good.

“Mama please tell me we’re not going using floo powder” Walburga pleaded, holding the edges of her pretty royal purple robes. Irma sighed, “of course not, look at what I’m wearing”.

“Darling,” Irma called Pollux, with her usual tired tone. “How many people can you disapparate with?” she asked, Walburga stood next to you as she pinched your arm excitedly, hissing, “we’re going to apparate! Isn’t this cool?”.

“I can only take one” Pollux said, fixing his tie as he glanced to his wife’s reflection in the mirror by the living room. Irma exhaled, “I can apparate with two and they’re four… Walburga- “.

“I can help”.

Irma rolled her eyes, “help with what, Alphard?”.

The drunken walked to the cluster by the living room, he was holding a bottle of firewhiskey that he set by the cupboard. “I just have to apparate with one to the Parkinson estate, right?”.

“Alphard you’re drunk, you will puke there, and people will talk” Pollux shook his head, “I will apparate with Tom- “.

“I can help, look” Alphard said, disapparating from the door of the living room and appearing next to you. “I suppose it’s fine. Just don’t embarrass us there, you apparate Mr. Malfoy and immediately disapparate, I don’t want to see you there while you’re in this state”.

“No way I don’t want to take Abraxas” Alphard refused. Tom eyes widened, realizing why the drunken was suddenly so helpful. “It’s fine, I will wait here while you take- “Tom began.

“No no no Tom you’re a guest, and since my father seems so fond of you, he will personally take you there, Abraxas and Wally will be taken by my mother” Alphard, his hand coming to hold yours and intertwining your fingers together, your eyes widening.

“And because I’m so fond of Miss (L/N) I will take her myself” he announced, glancing around carelessly at everyone’s reactions.

Irma shaking her head, opening her mouth to speak, Walburga opening her mouth to screech as Abraxas’s shoulder shook with laughter. Tom glaring at him, Pollux closing his eyes and seeming that he was tired of the discussion.

But Alphard didn’t wait for too long, he turned you to face him, and disapparated right before an argument could occur.

The last thing you two heard was, “Alphard!” a shared scream from Walburga and Irma.

The sensation of disapparating was familiar, as if it was something you done million times and executed perfectly. Still, it wasn’t pleasant as you were pushed and pulled from many directions until finally, it ended.

On the grassy knoll, in the middle of a beautiful greenery and medium height trees of magnolia trees. In the middle of the massive garden was a divine mansion, with wooden structure and exceptional architecture you’d never seen.

Alphard let a childish noise as he pointed theatrically at the mansion, “Tada! The Parkinson’s estate.” You took everything in, it was gorgeous especially with the sun illuminating everything so beautifully. Because it rained last night, the weather was great. The sound of fun music was heard in a distant, and you can hear the laughter of children and can see easter baskets by the roots of the trees.

Freeing yourself from Alphard’s hold, while he said, “my offer is still standing, let’s ditch all of this and go do something fun”.

You chuckled and refused, “I don’t want to miss this”.

He smiled watching you, didn’t say anything as you stared back at him with curiosity, “why are you looking at me?”.

“Can I not look at you?” he said with a grin.

“No, I mean why are you looking at me like that?”.

“Like what?” he asked, raising an eyebrow and watched you frown with confusion, “is there something on my face?” you asked with concern.

The man hid his smile as he answered proudly, “yes, beauty”.

You looked away and walked faster towards the mansion and closer to the sounds of people. “What usually happens in easter hunt parties?” you asked, changing the subject.

He let a throaty noise, like the one his mother makes when she’s bothered and dreading something, “Natalia Malfoy brags about her newest robes from fancy stores in her latest travels, which by the way I travel a lot if Walburga failed to- “.

“She told me you did travel, can you please answer my question?” you interrupted him, sensing how bad he wanted to speak about himself. You wanted to gather as much information and expect what you see. He sighed but obliged, “the children go around searching for easter eggs, parents brag about their own achievements or their children’s achievements, they brag and brag and brag until it’s time to go back home”.

His words weren’t helpful, so you decided to change the subject to something he’d been dying to share with you ever since he saw you, his travels. “Walburga told me you went to France, how was it?”.

His face glowed with joy, and before he could begin about his travels, you’d already spotted the guests and spotted Walburga frantically looking around her. “It was incredible, I even met- “.

“(Y/N)!” Walburga shouted, and from the corner of your eyes you can see Irma rolling her eyes at her youngest daughter screaming. Your friend dashed and hopped above the crouching children picking up bewitched eggs, her hands clamped on your arms and dragged you with her.

“You did this on purpose” Walburga glared at her brother, “I don’t know what you’re talking about” Alphard said.

You waved at Alphard, that disapparated soon after and Walburga brought you to the rest of the guests. Nancy approached you, in beautiful white ao dai. “Come let me introduce you to everyone!” Nancy said, snatching you from between Walburga’s grasp.

The night set on Diagon alley, but the streets were lit on either side of the road, the cobble stoned steps clicked with each step you took. Orion long strides were hard to follow, but you managed with Abraxas linking your arm and giving you some sort of speed to catch up with your excited black-haired friend.

Finally, when reaching a fancy store he swung the door open and allowed you all to walk in first. Just so he makes sure that Walburga doesn’t escape, or Nancy to run away to the near Quidditch store. The store belonged to the Greengrass family, and you saw their Ravenclaw daughter, Cereus, standing on the corner and twirling a piece of her chestnut-colored hair.

“Oh my! Malfoy & Riddle” she happily called, ignoring the rest of your circle’s presence. Before she could take a closer step to Tom, Orion arm stretched and he said with passive-aggression, “where is my things?”.

She stared at him, obviously confused, but quickly nodded and turned back inside, possibly to call her parents that owned the shop together. “I don’t like that girl”, Orion hissed.

No one cared for his words, as everyone was too busy taking in the new designs on the bewitched mannequins posing every thirty seconds. You walked closer to a mannequin clad in a peachy short dress, it was the kind of dresses that you’d always imagined modern stylish girls would wear, over the dress was a darker shade of peach robes, with white gold details.

Abraxas noticed you, “do you like it?”.

You nodded, and you felt braver about touching it and running the soft material between your fingers. “I will buy it”, Abraxas said.

Walburga whipped her head, and pointed at the mannequin, “this one? (Y/N), you like this one? I will buy it for you” she forced, and raced Abraxas to press the bell on the counter to make the purchase quicker. Once you processed what was happening, you panicked and tried to pull them away from the bell.

“I need to-“ Walburga was pushed by Abraxas away from the bell.

“Anyone! Come quickly! I want to-“, this time Abraxas was pushed by Walburga.

Your face was growing hot as you were attempting to pull them away. But they were so strong, when Nancy grew sick she took your forearm and dragged you away from the commotion, “what are you doing? Let them buy it for you”.

The panic in your body grew heavier as you shook your head, “no! I won’t accept it! It’s too much!”.

Nancy realized that you were embarrassed about receiving such a grand gift, and she could have easily stopped Walburga and Abraxas. But she didn’t want to, she wanted you to have nice things. It was this feeling in Nancy’s head that she was certain the rest of her friends had as well, the need to show their appreciation for you in different ways.

They weren’t the best communicators, and they were quite prickly but you stuck with them no matter what, and buying you something you liked would be a very trivial price for all the things you did for them. This was why an evil plan shined in Nancy’s head, she crossed her arms over her chest and shifted her weight to one leg as she tightened her eyes at you.

“So what you’re saying is that you don’t feel comfortable about us buying you things? And that we are not that close to be doing that?” she said, and you easily fell onto her trap of guilt.

“What? no, I do feel very comfortable-“.

“But you’re not acting like you’re comfortable, you must not think we’re close friends, right?”.

You were saved when Cereus returned, this time with her parents rolling one long clothing rack that had magnificent designs. Orion face lightened, he quickly stood by the clothing rack and shoved the hangers to each of you. Finally, he gave Tom his own hanger, this time gently.

He didn’t give you seconds to examine the designs he made for all of you, he clapped his hands, “come on! everyone walk inside and change! I want to see if any adjustments are required!”.

To avoid his wrath, Abraxas and Walburga shoved each other to the changing rooms as Nancy quietly sauntered there. There were only three changing rooms, and they were all occupied by your friends. It was only you and Tom, and Cereus came by to hold the hangers from you and ushered both of you to sit on the crimson sofa.

“Miss, here you go” Cereus said politely and handed you a pink paper bag. You peeked inside, and let a bothered exhale when you saw that peachy fabric. They bought it for you.

You lifted your gaze back to the wallpapers, and sighed again. Tom beside you rolled his eyes, “would you stop doing that? it’s not like they gave you their hearts”.

“No it’s not okay, it’s too much” you said.

“There’s no such thing as too much, your friendship with them is a give and take, they take emotional labor from you and give you materialistic things” he concluded, becoming silent when Cereus offered you both cups of coffees.

Once she left, you said, “the emotional labor I do is what normal friends do, it’s nothing big”.

“Well if you didn’t notice, this lot isn’t normal and they don’t want to be normal”.

“You’re being cold, and unbelievably shallow” you commented, bothered as you lengthened the space between your bodies on the couch. He opened his mouth to speak, but was interrupted by Abraxas door opening, he came out and posed in many silly ways as you and him giggled.

“Mrs. Greengrass, I specifically asked you to make the buttons silver you need to fix that, and make the shoulder pads look more sharper, will you?” Orion said, as the old woman nodded and took notes as well, and it seemed that she liked that Orion knew exactly what he wanted and made her job much easier.

Then, Nancy came out and placed a hand on her hip with a confident look on her face. Orion nodded proudly, “certainly everything does suit you, Nancy” Orion complimented, the girl strode next to you and sat on the arm of the sofa net to you. Finally, Walburga exited the changing room, liking that she was the last person and enjoying the attention very much.

“You finally look respectful” Orion said, and ignored Walburga that attacked him as he was making comments about adjustments with Mr. Greengrass.

From the corner in your eye you can see Cereus flirting with Abraxas. The boy was hesitant and shy, his ears so red as a pretty blush on his cheeks. He quickly left her and came to clap his hands as he approached you.

You teased Abraxas, “what’s with you and Cereus?”.

He blushed, “it’s nothing, she’s just being silly like always”.

You shrugged your shoulders and commented, “I think she’s nice”.

Before Walburga could speak and shake her head and gossip further about the dark-haired girl, the bell over the door chimed, and four cloaked figured walked in despite the nice weather. Nancy elbowed you, motioned with her jaw at the cloaked figures, that turned out to be Minerva and Malcolm and who you assumed was Robert, their younger brother, and Pomona sprout.

Pomona and Minerva were holding each other’s hands, but as they saw people they recognized inside the store they unlocked their hands. But it was too late as Walburga already caught them, “oh my! Pomona and Minerva sitting in a tree-“ she exchanged a singular look with Abraxas that continued teasingly, “k i s s i n g!”.

Pomona looked to the side, not succeeding in hiding her blushing face with her short hair locks. “(Y/N)!” Malcolm called and then approached you, excitedly you stood up from the sofa and asked, “Malcolm, what are you doing here?”.

“I came to get my robes, those were so bored and decided to follow me” he said, his brother approached you. He resembled Malcolm, except having chubbier cheeks that you physically resisted squishing. “Oh right, that’s Robert, my brother” Malcolm introduced.

“Hi! I’m (Y/N)” you said, with a nicer tone that showed your excitement at seeing a friend outside school. He smiled and introduced himself as well, “I’m Robert, nice to meet you”.

“How about we finish up, and go to Fortescue ice cream parlour?” Malcolm suggested, ignoring Minerva and Pomona leaving as they got sick of Abraxas and Walburga teasing. “I can’t, I came with my friends to check the robes Orion designed for us” you said apologetically.

Malcolm opened his mouth to speak, but shut his lips and nodded, “well I guess it can’t be helped”.

Cereus trotted to him, holding a paper bag and finally handed it to him without speaking a word. “I guess we will meet again, see you soon!” with those words he waved at you, so did Robert and they left as quick as they had arrived.

You turned to face your friends, all looking at you with strange looks, “what?”.

Nancy smirked, crossed her arms over her chest and said, “do you know that Malcolm has a big crush on you?”.

Flabbergasted, your head malfunctioned as you watched her, “he just asked you on a date and you rejected him” Orion said.

“No I didn’t, I mean he didn’t” you shook your head stubbornly.

“Yes he did, even Abraxas can see it” Walburga said, Abraxas came to interlock your arm with his and said, “even if he did, I’m glad that she rejected him, that boy is plain and-“.

He didn’t finish his words as the rest of the circle made noises of agreement, as if it was something that bugged them about him and they couldn’t figure out why. You took out your arm off Abraxas’s hold, “Malcolm is not plain, don’t speak that way about him”.

“Oh come on, I was just stating the truth!” Abraxas said.

You pushed the door and exited the store, the rest of the party following you as you said, “you’re not being honest, you’re being rude”. Abraxas hurried his pace a bit, to link his arm around yours as he apologized, “alright I’m sorry, just don’t stop talking to me over that plain- I mean Mr. McGonagall”.

Forcing a sigh, you said and maneuvered your way through the crowd, “I’m not going to stop talking to you for something like that” you said, he grinned so you continued, “but I’m going to tell you that what you said is wrong, don’t be rude”.

“Fine” he stated.

Walburga took your other arm, trotting happily, “did you two make up?”.

“We weren’t fighting, I was just telling him that he is rude” you said.

The girl let a noise, “well we already knew that, if you didn’t notice it my dear, we’re all rude here but there is a- Nancy?”.

Nancy answered, “a spectrum, Orion being the most and Tom being the least” you laughed sarcastically, “you think Tom is the nicest?!”.

“Well, not in particular but he’s…” Walburga looked behind to ensure there is a safe space for her to say the word, but him and Orion were still inside the store “a hypocrite, he’s a hypocrite”.

“I agree” you nodded. Then your eyes shone at the sight of Diagon alley lit with bewitched lamps. It was certainly getting more crowded, you can hear giggles from different directions and you spot familiar faces of those who go to school with you.

“I have to get a broomstick wax” Nancy announced, stuck her hands into the pockets of her robes as she said, “but it’s crowded so don’t follow me” she added.

“Wait I need to get a broomstick servicing kit form there” Abraxas said, following Nancy that waved at your lot. “Should we get inside?” Walburga offered, but the door of the store was pushed open making Walburga lose her footing and almost fall on her face, “Walburga! Come inside I have got to fix your robes!” Orion shouted.

“Don’t shout!” Walburga said, following him inside angrily.

It was just you out, and you didn’t feel like going back inside and having to sit next to Tom Riddle. So you trekked your way through Diagon Alley, walked past Fortescue ice cream parlour and pretended you didn’t notice Malcolm and his siblings.

It felt embarrassing to speak to him after what your friends pointed out.

This easter holiday was very entertaining, and you secretly despised having to return to Hogwarts after a few days. You liked spending all of your time with your friends and their families, the attention they willingly gave you along the love made you feel true joy.

With those thoughts in your mind you decided to buy everyone gifts. With little bag of galleons you managed to get little gifts for the whole group. You got Nancy a big silver hairpin with blue decorations, you noticed she favored that color more than her house colors.

For Walburga you got her a simple fabric bracelet, in what Orion would call outrageous colors. For Orion you got him a new paint brush. You struggled a lot on what to get for Abraxas, but a bewitched bookmark seemed the fittest. He always complained to you about having to crease the end of the pages as he always loses his bookmark.

When it came to Tom you pondered a lot about whether it was appropriate to get him a present. He wasn’t very close to you, but he wasn’t a stranger either.

Finally, you decided to get him a present.

Except without noticing, you wandered off to Knockturn alley. The atmosphere was weighted with danger. You tried to pretend as if you know your way through it to not attract the attention of risky people.

With the first shop on your view, you walked inside as your heartbeat was resonating to your whole body with nerves making you extremely anxious and alarmed.

“Welcome” you faced the meek and sullen looking wizard by the counter. He seemed to doubt your presence in his shop, before he could kick you out and to attract the attention of everyone to prove you were in fact lost, you straightened your shoulder and lifted your jaw to look at him from beneath your nose.

“If I need help, I will call you” you said.

He tightened his eyes at you, didn’t speak a word as you walked through the aisles of miscellaneous dark arts items. Then your eyes fell onto a locket, a snake locket. It reminded you of Tom for a reason. Without hesitation you took it, and walked back to the counter.

“I will buy this”.

“I’m afraid this cannot be purchased by you” the man replied.

“What is that supposed to mean?” you asked.

“You’re a Hogwarts student, is that right?” he asked, looking at you doubtfully when you shook your head. “No I’m not a student”.

“Really? What is your job?” he demanded.

“What does my job have to do with this, all it matters is that I’m not a student” you adamantly responded. “Young miss, please stop your lies and leave my shop this instant”.

“No I will not, I said I want to buy this locket” you said.

“I cannot give this to you until you prove your age to me” he said, taking the locket from you and slipping it behind the glass barrier. You pocketed your money bag, half empty but it had more than ten galleons for sure. “I will pay for it, name your price”.

“I cannot give it to you-“ he stopped speaking to welcome the new guest. With a frown on your face, you crossed your arms over your chest “I said I will buy it, I told you I’m not a student”.

A firm grasp on your shoulder made you shake, along a surprised “what are you doing here?!”. Quickly, you turned around to face Alphard that stood in his fancy robes and looking more sober than the last time you saw him.

“What are you doing here?” you redirected the question.

“Mum asked me to get something” Alphard said, then he turned and faced Mr. Burke, the owner of the shop as he said, “I’m here to get what Irma Black bought”.

“Oh, yes, yes” Mr. Burke said and walked around the back of the store.

“So, what are you doing here?” Alphard insisted.

“I got lost while buying gifts for my friends, and then I saw this locket which I wanted to buy but he won’t let me” you whispered.

“Who is he?” Alphard whispered back, then asked in a whisper “why are we whispering?”.

“I told him I’m not a student, and that I’m of age so I could get it” you said, straightened your back when Mr. Burke returned again with a mysterious looking fabric bag. “Mr. Burke” Alphard alerted.

“Yes, Mr. Black”.

“My girlfriend here told me you won’t let her get this locket, is that true?” Alphard said, faking a serious tone.

“Of course, she’s clearly young”.

“Thank you for the compliment, I just have a baby face but I’m actually eighteen” you lied.

“Really?” Mr. Burke said, tightening his gaze at you and Alphard.

Quickly, you took out few golden galleons from your pouch, “how much is it? Ten Galleons right?” you said slapping the golden coins and snatching the locket from behind the counter. You stormed outside with Alphard, holding your hand and running away from an angry Mr. Burke.

“It’s not ten galleons!” Mr. Burke scream echoed through the alleyways of Knockturn alley. Finally, when the lamplights appeared again you realized you reached Diagon alley. Alphard and you heaved, then giggled when you made eye-contact.

Once you two stopped laughing, “come on, let’s get ice cream” Alphard told you, pulled you to walk next to him to Florean Fortescue ice cream parlour, which was close to where you were standing. Although before Alphard or you could enter the shop, you caught Walburga running.

You readied yourself to the harsh bump, so when it did come it wasn’t as severe as the usual ones. Her hands grasped onto your shoulders, pushing you with her force few steps back. “Where have you been?!”.

Soon, Abraxas and Nancy came along as well. “I was around looking then I got lost in Knockturn alley and Alphard found me” you explained, Abraxas took Walburga’s hands off your shoulders and you gave him a light “thanks”.

“I’m just glad you’re alright, we were all worried even Tom-“ Nancy stopped speaking when Orion and Tom arrived. The latter was heaving, looking out of breath as he gulped. “Mummy sent the driver, it’s time we go home” Orion announced as Walburga mimicked him.

“You guys can go ahead and take the car, I will disapparate with (Y/N)” Alphard said, clutching your hand in his own. “To 12^th Grimmauld place, right?” he asked Orion.

Before the reckless man could vanish with you, Tom left hand sliced between your hand and Alphard’s. You massaged your hand, “you hurt me, idiot” you cursed.

Abraxas took you by your shoulders to the other side of him, “thank you Alphard for finding (Y/N) but you’re only ruining our plans for tonight” Alphard shot Tom a nasty look, then stared at Abraxas as he said “ruining your plans? I was only going to disapparate back to 12^th Grimmauld place, which is where you’re all going anyways”.

“Alphard, know when you’re not wanted” Nancy remarked.

Before Alphard could protest, your lot walked away as Abraxas pulled you with him. “I’m sorry about my brother” Walburga apologized, looking embarrassed.

“Don’t be, he’s nice” you told her.

“No, I should be, ever since you came here he keeps pestering you and ruining all of our plans” Walburga stubbornly refused your dismissal of her apology. “I wanted to make this holiday the best, so you can have lots of good memories now” she added.

“You did give me good memories, all of you are my dear friends” you said, taking her arm to lock it with yours. “I think Alphard is just feeling lonely” you explained.

“No wonder, because no one likes him” Tom scoffed.

Walburga fell silent, looking more embarrassed. You knew Walburga liked her older brother Alphard very much. She would always speak very highly about him, except his last actions before her friends made her feel humiliated.

“That’s not true, he travels to exciting places and makes new friends and who would befriend someone they don’t like? Isn’t that right, Wally?” you reassured her.

She lifted her head, stared at you with a thankful smile “right”.

Tom couldn’t concentrate reading the lines in his book with the sound of your mary janes clicking as you rocked back and forth in your place. He was thankful when Victoria impatiently tugged on your hand; making you stop the little noises you were making.

Your lot were waiting before Aisha’s little home. The woman had invited you all to her home, for a simple get together. “We can just go inside” you said, unhooking your hold from Victoria’s fingers. Before she could catch your body, you stumbled inside Aisha’s home. “She’s right, the door is always open, Aisha doesn’t mind” Tom said, encouraging the hesitant Victoria to walk inside Aisha’s home.

Victoria watched you sit in the middle of the large turquoise sofa, after picking up one of Oliver’s old toys that were displayed on the class cupboard. Next to you, Tom slumped on the sofa, only entertaining himself with the book that was gifted to him by Emily, the same book that he intended on giving to you when your birthday comes around.

Except, he never realized that he would never attend any of your birthday parties.

“I will go look for Aisha” Victoria quietly said, feeling guilty about walking right into Aisha’s home. Still, she took quiet steps to the kitchen, but it was empty. Except she stopped in her tracks when she heard voices hissing behind the bedroom.

She would usually walk away as it was an obvious secret conversation. However, your name was repeated many times in the conversation. Curious and worried, Victoria listened on the private conversation between Aisha and Emily.

“We can’t kill Tom and Victoria just to take (Y/N), this is wrong” Emily said adamantly.

“I told you not to get too attached to (Y/N)!” Aisha scolded, “it will only mess up our plans, (Y/N) is our property now, she dislikes her mother and if I offered for her to leave with us she would”.

“Mother, she is a child” Emily pleaded, with a whimper and seeming that she had been heaving, “Oliver said he already has Canna, so why can’t we let (Y/N) be alone?”.

The sound of a slap resonated through the room, echoing back to Victoria. “We will take (Y/N) from her stupid mother, don’t you know the importance of royal blood?”.

“Mother I know, this is why we have Canna but let’s leave (Y/N) out of it, please” Emily sobbed behind her palm. “I don’t want to listen to you anymore, this is our family business, do you know how easy it would be to do our job with her power?!”.

“Get out of my face before they come, when they arrive we will start our plan” Aisha hissed. “Mother” Emily pleaded before she wiped her tears and sobbed again.

Without wasting another second, Victoria took quiet and fast steps to the two children in the living room, “let’s go” she demanded, taking Tom and you by your hands and dashed out of the traitors home. Her steps were hurried, as her heart was trembling with fear.

“What’s wrong?” you asked, attempting to fight Victoria’s tight hold around your wrist. “We have to get out of here, immediately” Victoria stated, her head racing with thoughts about hiding with two children and raising them. With limited food and unknown shelter, it would be nearly impossible and extremely difficult.

Victoria breathed in and then out, when she reached to the shabby flat she lived in for many years with Tom’s mother and then her daughter and Tom. “(Y/N) and Tom, pack your clothes we’re leaving”.

A protest was climbing up you throat and your head, except Tom pulled you with him to your corner. He demanded, “pack your things, Victoria knows best”.

With a pout, you stomped your feet quickly towards the cupboard you left your things in. Victoria decided that it would be best to escape with you, and to leave Tom in London in an orphanage away from Aisha’s home. It would be safer for him to remain there until Aisha and her family lose your track, and when they do, she promised herself she will come back to take Tom by any means necessary.

All before his eleventh birthday, before he receives his Hogwarts letter. She would return to raise him just like how Merope wanted. She would make him the best wizard there is to make his mother proud, Victoria told herself finally as she glanced at Tom, in the corner of the living room where she left his and your cupboard.

“Tom, make sure you take all your mother’s books please” Victoria said.

“Alright, Victoria” he obediently said.

Once you all finished packing, Victoria tightly held onto your hand despite the briefcase the continued to hit your side whenever Victoria moved along. Tom also forced to hold Vicotria’s grasp. The woman was fighting her tears. She was scared, anxious and shaking as she descended the stairs of her scruffy flat.

She had nothing with her besides a change of clothes, few pounds that could surely give her a small motel room for two weeks or perhaps a ticket to a different country. “Tom, I need you to listen very clearly to me” she said, running out of breath as her eyes gazed up at the sun that was setting, the horizon in lilac and orange.

“Yes, Victoria” Tom said, giving Victoria his full attention and slowly absorbing her nervous energy. She was nervous, her hands were sweaty despite the cold weather, and the crazed anxious look in her eyes told him more than enough. That something was wrong.

“An emergency occurred, our lives are in danger, and especially (Y/N) do you understand?” she said, hopping over the dirty asphalt along with you and him.

Tom eyes widened, he glanced at you who was daydreaming and mindlessly following Victoria. “What happened?” he asked.

“I don’t have the time to explain to you, but I will tell you how you can help me save (Y/N)’s life and yours too” Victoria said, tugging Tom’s hand in quick steps and finally stopping by the orphanage that was run by Mrs. Wool’s.

Once reaching to the gates, she stopped, dropped the luggage besides you and held onto Tom’s shoulders with tears prickling her eyes, “Tom I’m very sorry, but I’m going to have to leave you in an orphanage-“ she hiccupped.

“But I will come back for you, I will return and take you back with me after I save (Y/N), the next days will be difficult for all of us but I need you to promise me something”.

Tom lip quivered, but he managed to stare at Victoria and nod his head, “I need you to promise me you won’t ever seek out Aisha and her family, if you see them I want you to hide, okay?”.

“Alright” he said, his voice shaking.

“I want you to be careful about your life, do not put yourself in danger at all or get yourself in trouble, do you get me?”.

“I get you, Victoria” a tear fell from his eyes.

“I will ask you to be patient for me, wait for me until I come back and get you I might take a long time but I will come back before your eleventh birthday” Victoria said, ruffling his neat hair and bringing him into a last hug.

“You’re both only seven but you’re going through so much” She said, patting his back and finally parting the hug. “Go on, (Y/N) say goodbye to Tom” Victoria said, opened the gates to the orpahange and walked up the steps, hoping to speak to Mrs. Wools before she leaves Tom.

“When are we coming back?” you asked.

“Soon” Tom answered instead.

You took closer steps to him, feeling a little awkward about hugging the boy you had a fight with just this morning. “When I see you again, I will be a stylish and a different girl” you said, clearing your throat and looking to the ground.

Tom took out his Alice in Wonderland book, he took out his pencil and wrote a last message on the back of the book as he told you “next time I see you, you better be able to read all of it to me”.

You grinned, “I will read it to you ten times” you said, taking the book from him and placing it over the luggage next to you.

“Will you write me letters?” he asked.

“I can’t write” you answered. “But I will try harder to learn how to write”.

Finally giving up to the itch in your heart telling you to hug Tom, you pulled him into an embrace. “I don’t understand what’s happening, but I will see you again and when I see you again I will tell you about all the fun things that happened to me when we’re apart”.

He patted your back, let a hum as his voice threatened him that by the next word he would bust in heavy tears. “You’re my best friend in this entire world” you whispered to Tom, hugging him tighter, feeling his soft hair tickle your face a little. “You’re my best friend too” Tom managed to say, sobbing with you.

Mrs. Wools forced you away from each other, muttering about how a girl and a boy cannot be that close to each other. “Tom, Mrs. Wools will take good care of you until we return” Victoria said, gestured to the blonde middle-aged woman that harshly took his hand.

“Tom, I will see you soon!” you shouted with your tears flowing down your cheeks, waving your hand as Victoria took all the luggage and you embraced the book. “Bye” Tom said, also breaking into tears as he watched you and Victoria walking away in quick steps.

He remained there, adamant to Mrs. Wools harsh tugs just to make sure you and Victoria reached to the end of the street safely. Finally, with a successful tug, Mrs. Wools pulled him behind her inside the depressing building.

“Now, Tom, we have a set of rules you must know”.

Chapter Text

Dark, stifling, and hot were the first thoughts as your eyes opened. The queen-sized bed felt unbelievably tight and claustrophobic as you tried to maneuver your way out of it.

A nightmare.

You just had a nightmare. It had to be a nightmare.

But it felt way too realistic for it to be one. Still, whether it was a horrible dream or a horrible memory. It made your heart beat inside your core insanely. You slightly felt better when you heard Walburga’s light snores, Abraxas still body on your other side, clinging tightly to your arm.

You climbed over Walburga’s sleeping body, she slept like a corpse and you doubted it would wake her up. Startled, you felt a fourth body and from the moon shinning between the curtains, seeing the long dark locks covering the pale moon-shaped face. You concluded that it is Nancy, who must have joined the impromptu sleepover whilst you were all sleeping.

Nancy wasn’t a heavy sleeper like the other two, so when she felt your body shuffling, she rolled over with an irritated “Walburga, stop moving”.

Your heart felt lighter when your feet felt the carpeted floor, you tiptoed out of it and took the candle from the top of the dresser along your wand, tapped it lightly to make it fire up. It ignited a small fire that was enough to make you see where you’re stepping, and with the help of it you exited the guest bedroom.

12^th Grimmauld place was one of a kind, the stairs were polished to perfection that they reflected the light coming from the candle. You peeked at the door across the guest room you stayed in, it was given to Tom. The third bedroom on your left was assigned to Abraxas, the one on your right was assigned to Nancy. But your two friends neglected that and came to sleep in your bedroom.

Your feet padded lightly down the handsome sturdy stairs, grazing the smooth hand railing. Finally, you reached to the kitchen, peeking through it to find some house elves still working. Feeling sympathy towards them, you entered the kitchen.

Alarming Kreacher that harshly cried, “what are you doing here?!”.

Careful to not drop the candle, as your shoulders shook violently at his loud voice, “oh I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you all”.

“Kreacher, don’t treat the half-blood like that, she’s a friend of Master Orion” an older elf said, “mama! She’s a half-blood, she’s only using Master Orion” Kreacher complained.

Your eyebrows furrowed, “I’m not using him, we’re friends”.

“Your poor acting might fool Master Orion but it does not fool me!” he cried.

Your heart banged, you only came here to try and help them finish their job easier so they could get back to sleep. But the only thing you got was sick accusations. Irritated, you clutched on the candelabrum. “Orion may be an idiot but he’s no fool”.

Turning around with surprise, you faced Tom. He didn’t spare you a glance as he looked down at Kreacher. “Master Tom!” Kreacher cried, then lowered his gaze as Tom coldly looked into him.

Finally, Tom looked back at you and demanded, “why are you still awake?”.

“Shouldn’t I ask you this question?” you tried to humor him, walking out of the kitchen, and following him towards where you assumed he was before he approached the kitchen. “I asked you first” he finalized. You eyed his silk set of pajamas, and his slightly messy hair.

He looked unbelievably harmless, despite the harsh look he gave you before sitting down on the large sofa. You sat next to him, placed the candelabrum on the table and sighed before you answered, “I couldn’t sleep”.

“Don’t lie to me, I could see dry drool here” he pointed at the corner of your mouth. Heated, you quickly wiped it and made sure there were no crusts in your eyes. “Fine, I had a nightmare, happy?” you confessed, irritated.

“About what?” he set down the book he was reading, with dark thick covering and you didn’t bother to know that it must contain some dark magic information. It didn’t shake you one bit, you needed all the knowledge he can get so your mission of killing Dumbledore has a lower chance of failing.

“This and that” you mindlessly said, resting your back on the comfortably sofa and allowing the softer cushions to swallow your body. “Why are you up?” you changed the subject. He brushed his hair away from his face, and for a reason, it made you smile.

Who would have thought the cold-blooded Tom could do things that normal people do. Things that aren’t necessarily glamorized. The small gesture was simple, but it made you feel more comfortable around him.

“I can’t sleep in a different bed than mine” he said.

“You can only sleep in Hogwarts?” you asked.

“Precisely”.

You stifled your chuckle, he turned his head to look at you, “what?”.

“Nothing, I never imagined how childish Tom Riddle can be”.

“I’m not childish, not being able to sleep in a different environment than the one I’m used at is not- why am I even explaining it to you?” he gave up once he realized you won’t stop giggling. “You’re so unpredictable” you managed to say in between you laughing.

“This is not funny” he said with an exhausted sigh. “Why did you go to the house elves? They made their hatred for you clear”.

“I pitied them, working at a late time and thought that I could help them”.

Tom gave you a singular puzzled look, but returned his gaze to the book. You fixed your posture, and lifted your head to the side so you can look at the Black family tapestry right beside the sofa. It had many names, some you recognized from the Easter’s hunt hosted by Parkinson’s family, but most of them you didn’t know.

“Look, it’s Orion” you said, pointing at your friend’s name. Tom’s eyes followed your finger, he silently read the names on the tapestry before he pointed at Walburga’s face, just below Orion’s “that’s Walburga”.

“She looks really different” you commented, “she looks upset here”.

“You’re right” Tom hummed, “I think it was the day Orion cut all of her robes” you joked, referencing a story Walburga and Orion were fond of sharing, making Tom let a smile, the ones that made you want to witness it again.

Tom whole existence irritated you, from your very first meeting with him and getting to spend lots of detentions with him and following his cursed commands. Tom Riddle was irritating, he still is. But it felt rather nice making him smile.

Also, you quite liked his soft demeanor around his friends. The way he would smirk when Orion and Walburga have their daily morning squabble, and the way he would look very entertained watching Nancy hex disrespectful muggle-borns. The way he would show Abraxas that he was listening to what he was saying when his words were indirectly dismissed by the rest.

Riddle would deny all of your observations, or would pretend that he was doing all of this to smooth his way for becoming minister of magic. But you knew better than that. He wasn’t as bad as you first painted him to be, or as terrible as everyone portrayed him, or as dreadful as he masqueraded to be.

“What’s your relationship with Alphard?”.

Your head turned to look at Tom, he was already staring at you—it made you terribly nervous. The way his dark green eyes sunk into your own, looking for honesty. “He’s my friend, I think” you gave him the honesty he wanted.

Still, he didn’t look satisfied with your answer. “That’s not possible” he said, turning his head back to his book.

You frowned, “why would I lie to you?”.

He shut his book, and glared at you “why wouldn’t you?!”.

Your lips opened in shock, you couldn’t process a coherent thought, or a word that would end the feeling of unfairness lurking in the pit of your stomach. It made you feel sick.

“You’re the biggest liar I know” he added, sighing when he noticed your back slouching with clear gloom. “Why would I even lie about my relationship with Alphard? I told you, he’s a friend” you said, standing up from the sofa.

“Yeah, right” he muttered.

“But even if I was lying, why do you care?” you asked, humming at the end and glaring back at him. “Because if you dare say anything about our plan to him, you will ruin everything I’m working for” he answered.

“Whatever” you said, rolling your eyes and exiting the living room. Soon, you realized you forgot your candelabrum and the thought of walking in the dark was frightening, you could hear your heart hammering into your core with fear.

You were scared of the dark, not necessarily of it but what lurked in it and the uncertainty was terrifying.

As much as you disliked walking back to the living room, you loathed the thought of walking in the dark even more. So, with your head held high you walked back into the living room. Tom still sitting right where you left him, except he wasn’t reading he was staring into the space. His eyelids were heavy as he seemed deep in thought.

When you appeared, he stared at you instead while you walked back to the place you left your candelabrum on. It felt appropriate for you to speak, as the stiffness in the air was high.

“You know…” you said, your index traced the cold wax on the candelabrum. “I would never tell anyone about the…” you cleared your throat and gestured the air and hoped he knew what you meant. “And I would never betray you because you’re my…”.

You couldn’t find any other word to describe him. You shut your lips and gazed at him silently. He didn’t say a word, so you affirmed “I would never betray you”.

Before he could speak, you left and your heart lifted and somehow when you returned to your bed. Filled with your lovely clinging friends, you allowed Abraxas to cling into your arm, you heard Nancy’s lazy mumble “where did you go?”.

It felt a lot better, even if you argued with Tom over something silly, and it was engraved into your mind that Tom Riddle was the strangest boy you had ever met. It was a lot better, the silly argument that made you feel unjust, reminded you of your current reality and made you forget about the nightmare.

The following morning was very hectic, it was supposed to be Orion’s surprise birthday party. It was hosted at Walburga’s home, as 12^th Grimmauld place was being prepared for the bigger celebration. The sun was still up in the sky, the small celebration was run by your lot. Irma and Pollux evacuated the house to help Melania and Arcturus—Orion’s parents.

Orion was playing dumb about the small celebration at Walburga’s house; he was the one that specified a day and a time to have a small party with just his friends. Because at night would be the larger party.

Walburga and you were in charge of making the cake, Nancy and Abraxas were in charge of decorating. Tom was asked very nicely by Walburga and Abraxas to distract Orion in the study. Alphard was asked to chaperone the party by the grown-ups, but something in you told you he was lying.

“Walburga could you stop pushing me?” you pleaded, the girl behind you apologized with a smile as she watched you light up the cake with your wand, “how come you never get warnings from the ministry about using magic outside of school?” Nancy asked.

“Because her wand wasn’t made here, right?” Alphard excitedly answered, making Walburga roll her eyes and hiss, “why did you even come here? This is Orion’s miniscule birthday party!”.

“For your information I was told to chaperone this little party while the elders went to prepare for the other party” he answered, pushing her away and taking her place behind you, “(Y/N) do you need help with anything?” he asked, blinking his wide grey eyes at you.

“No thank you, could you just give me space to move?” you said, lifting the cake and turning around. Alphard and Nancy turned quiet as they judged the ugly cake.

“This cake looks shitty” Alphard commented, “but at least it looks like a cake” he continued.

You took careful steps out of the kitchen, with the lot noisily sauntering behind you. “Where is Abraxas?” Walburga hissed, and stopping you before taking another step to the living room where Orion and Tom were having a one-sided conversation.

“I’m here!” the blond boy answered, kneeling by the floor and said, “Alphard, the lights?” he said standing up. The dark-haired boy nodded, swished his wand and made all the lights go out as you walked with them inside the living room, Orion looked surprised as his eyes traced everyone. They were all singing a birthday song they only knew about.

You glanced at Tom, he wasn’t singing like the rest. Although his case was different, he didn’t want to sing. Still, he said the last part that you all knew, “Happy birthday Orion!”.

Orion stood up abruptly from the sofa, took large steps towards your lot as he said, “what is this? That’s one messy cake!”.

“Walburga and I made it” you said with a chuckle, “but it tastes good, I promise”.

“Well, it’s the intention that counts” he said, also laughing and leaning closer to blow on the candles. After cutting the chocolate cake, eating it and chatting, Walburga suggested playing hide and seek. Just to kill the time until it was time to get ready for the big party.

Abraxas and Nancy were the seekers as they were the fastest, and the rest of you were to hide in the large Black estate. Strangely, Tom didn’t protest about not playing. With his book resting in his hand. Although, you didn’t pay attention much as you were buzzing with excitement at Nancy’s and Abraxas’ loud counting.

“Ten…Nine”.

You heard their voices echo as you quickly climbed the stairs up. The second floor had Walburga and Orion fighting over a hiding spot right by the cupboard. They were loudly hissing at each other, and frankly you didn’t want to be caught so you climbed another set of stairs.

“Seven…Six”.

Your heart raced, when you reached to the third floor. It had the guest rooms you resided in the previous day. Although, the doors were shut and you didn’t feel like intruding inside. Tom was there, sitting on the armchair that was just beside the rooms. It was hidden by a bookcase. A smile tugged on your lips, he was playing this childish game with the rest of you.

His eyes raised from the lines on his book, your smile widened but you didn’t tease him as you were running out of time. “Three…Two”.

If you had more time you would dash to the fourth floor, but as your whole body was working on excitement, you ran towards Tom. “One!” you heart dropped when you heard it. So without thinking, you sat just next to Tom. His body was closely pressed onto yours, his heat seeped to your body.

Too shocked to scold you, he just stared at you with his mouth open. Your face heated when you realized your doing, so you fixed your seating and properly sat there.

It was too quiet, you could hear Nancy’s and Abraxas’ quiet steps and whispers. It was very silent in this floor that you could hear Tom’s breathing right by your ear, it was ticklish and hot. You suddenly were aware of your breathing, and the saliva in your mouth. Too exposed to Tom’s unwavering stare, you couldn’t gulp your saliva or regulate your breathing.

He noticed this, “breathe”.

“Shut up” you said, rolling your eyes and looking away to study the polished doors and fancy doorknobs before your eyes. Tom continued to gaze at you, the type of eyes that studied your actions over and over again. There was a glint of hopefulness in them, but it never made you feel at ease with how hard he was looking at you.

“Don’t look at me like that”.

“You infiltrated my personal space, and have the nerve to tell me what to do?” his gaze dropped to show the lack of space between your bodies. You only sighed, and looked at your nails. “Unless…” he whispered.

His hand covered your own, before you could register what was happening to you, he pulled you closer to him. Your chest touching his chest, your thighs touching his own. A siren twisted through your system, his emerald eyes traced your whole face then to your lips.

“Unless you’re trying to seduce me…?”.

You hated how nervous he made you feel, and how your limbs gave up on you despite your brain and heart going insane. “Are you…seducing me?” he whispered, leaning to say the last syllables on your lips. You weren’t sure if he was going to kiss you or torment you.

He was too close, you could smell his natural body scent and his menthol soap. You knew he was simply tormenting you, to push you in a cycle of irritation and uneasiness. It did work, your hands awkwardly writhed by your sides and your body stopped moving, as if gave up on you.

“Are you?” he repeated, parting to look at your face. As if one thousand needles were in your throat, you gulped. “You’re too close” you said. He didn’t speak, only his finger gently traced downwards from your temple, it reached your jaw and lifted your head so it can align with his own.

With your heart jumping, you asked “what are you doing?”.

Tom’s face was mere inches apart form your own, you could clearly see his flaws—but you didn’t consider them as flaws.

Your body regained it’s power when you saw Alphard handsome features descending the stairs from the fourth floor. So you pushed Tom away, not too harsh that he was fully off of you, but enough that you could stand up. Enough to send a firing arrow to Tom’s heart, and hurting him deeply.

Alphard took large steps to you, his lips stretching in a wide smile and you doing the same. This miniscule interaction wouldn’t mean a lot to Tom if he knew you were clearly uninterested in Alphard.

Then it clicked to Tom, you lied to Tom right through your teeth last night. You told him that there was nothing special between you and Alphard, but the way your eyes lit up when seeing the man. It thrusted and twisted that same firing arrow you sent into his heart when you pushed him away.

A sickening feeling wrapped around Tom’s throat, he couldn’t breathe, not when Alphard took you by your shoulders and hid you behind him as Nancy jumped the last step of the stairs. “Found you!” she shouted, you giggled and appeared out of your hiding place.

All of a sudden, Tom didn’t feel like continuing this childish game anymore—why did he agree to join from the beginning? Why did he? The answer presented itself to him when his eyes fell on you. “I found Tom!” Nancy shouted, again to the upstairs, alerting Abraxas that slipped to search for him.

“I’m not playing anymore” Tom said, tucking his book beneath his armpit and twisting the doorknob of the room he resided in the previous days. “Tom-“ he last heard his name before the door harshly shut behind him.

“Do you like it?” Victoria gently asked, briefly looking off the magical newspaper to glance at you. Grease was on the corner of your mouth, as well as bits of the puff pastry of the Sambusa, an east African puff pastry filled with meat, a dish or a street food snack you indulged in upon reaching to Somalia. You sighed, and nodded, wanting to say that Tom would have enjoyed this dish as much as you.

But you decided otherwise, seeing the way your mother would turn rigid when mentioning Tom. You didn’t understand why, but you always heard her crying at night when she thought you were deep in your slumber. “I’m glad” Victoria whispered, pulling on the raggedy robes that once belonged to Merope.

Victoria and you traveled around three countries so far. First, you took the ferry to Liberia, it was a month long journey that sickened you. The constant rocking of the boat, only seeing water and only eating fish for four continuous weeks. You grew impatient, often pestered Victoria about sending a letter to Tom; despite being in the middle of the ocean.

So the second you reached Liberia, you indulged in the magnificent cuisine, and wrote a letter to Tom. Victoria worked part time jobs, mostly as a maid. You and Victoria liked Liberia, you liked how everyone had a similar dark complexion like your own and how the people were friendly. You liked the music, the colorfulness in this country.

One day, you asked your mother about your origins. If you were originally from Liberia, as everyone had your skin color. Her eyes gazed at you with sadness, and misery before she shook her shoulders and told you she doesn’t know. Still, you quite loved Liberia. Although one day, Victoria came back to the guest house and took you from your wrist, chanting about how she must go as she thanked your hosts.

Next thing you knew, you took a long train ride to Nigeria, and even then you took endless car rides to end up in Sudan. Very close to Egypt. Not many people spoke your language, but you could tell from their smiles and their hospitality that they conquered the language barrier with their kindness.

You often played football with the children, you couldn’t understand what they were saying. But again, their kindness and willingness destroyed the barrier. They made you play with them, and when you scored a goal to the netless goal net, they would run up to you and lift you up in the air while chanting your name.

Victoria worked as an English teacher, the British officers recruited her upon finding her in the store, taking her by her textured hair and asking her if she was “Vicky” which was what the villagers called your mother. They also called her rude names, but said she would work just right to “teach the savages”. Later that day, your mother told you about a word called: colonization.

It didn’t make any sense to you. As to why those bigger countries wanted to take things that didn’t belong to them, or why they craved violence and why they called you such names. They called the villagers disrespectful names, those people you lived with that were so kind to you despite not knowing much about you. They offered you and Victoria a place to stay without anything in return.

You lived in Sudan with Victoria for a whole year, you learned few words in their language. You made good friends. Ayah, the lovely host family daughter that would comb your hair and let you play with her straw dolls. Sometimes, she would even let you wear her nice dresses if you braided flowers you grew into her hair.

Adam, who was your other friend and was the most playful child. His eyes were mischievous and so was his large toothy grin, his family owned a farm that produced the most delicious mangoes. He didn’t know about your ability like Ayah did.

Although you regretted telling Ayah about your secret, as she was a talkative girl and accidentally slipped the secret to the new merchants, she told them about her amazing new English teacher and her strange daughter that could grow flowers and vegetables. Of course, Victoria returned that day, seizing you from your shoulder and escaping. Still, you couldn’t help but think that the merchants looked insanely familiar to you.

Now, you and Victoria settled in the magical community of Somalia. Because according to Victoria, sometimes hiding in the light is better. So she lied about being a squib to be able to live amongst the magical village. Aisha’s family were assassins, they were known criminals in the magical world. They would never appear in the magical community.

She was right, you were able to live two peaceful years in the magical community of Somalia. You became 10, and soon Tom would be Eleven. You would write him letters, and he would write you letters back. He told you about his new great friends, Dennis Bishop and Amy Benson. Of course, he said that you are his only best friend.

He also said that he cannot wait to see you again, that you two would go to Hogwarts together. You only sent him one picture of you and Victoria, you were wearing Ayah’s nice dress and you were holding a pink rose that looked grey in the picture. Still, you loved the picture just because you thought you looked pretty in it.

“Tom sent another letter” Victoria said, sliding the thick envelope to you. It was raining outside the small hostel you both lived in. Money was too tight to have your own home and Victoria was certain you two would be able to return to London very soon. It’s been two years since she last saw Aisha. It meant that it was safe to return. Thus, she was happy to break the news to you.

On Sunday’s ferry, you two would be taking the ferry up the red sea and then travelling to the Mediterranean Sea, and finally to the Tyrrhenian Sea, stopping at France for one day before taking the train to the edge of the country and taking another ferry to London.

It would be an excruciating journey. But at the end Victoria would finally reunite with Merope’s child, and take him away from that depressing orphanage. Perhaps then Mrs. Wool’s would stop sending her continuous letters about how Tom is a monster and how he traumatized Amy Benson and Dennis Bishop.

It was a two-sided story, and Victoria believed Tom.

“(Y/N)” Victoria called you, folding the newspaper in half and setting it in the handsome mahogany table of the resto-bar. It wasn’t an appropriate time for a child to be sitting there, but the night was quiet and the resto-bar had very few people. Most she trusted, not fully but still trusted them enough.

You gazed at Victoria, she sighed and wiped the grease and puff pastry remains around your mouth. “So messy” she mumbled. You hated Victoria’s berating, whether it was in a shout or a gentle tone. So you frowned, and missed Tom once again in this day.

As much as you used to envy him in the past, you had to admit he was the settler between you and Victoria. Now with him not around, it was so difficult to be around Victoria even though you were forced to spend all of your time with her, even at night you would share a bed and you had to listen to her sob into her pillow sometimes.

“We’re going to London” Victoria told you.

“What?” you asked, you heard her the first time but you just wanted to confirm that it’s real. “I said we’re going to London” Victoria announced once again, smiling and returning her hand to herself.

“Really?”.

“Yes” she nodded, “We’re going on Sunday”.

Your hands shot to cover your mouth, as tears welled up in your eyes. Not because you wanted to leave this place, but because you wanted to see Tom once again. “I- I have to write to Tom” you said, standing up as the chair scraping on the ground, “don’t you want to keep it as a surprise?” Victoria asked you.

“No, I have to write to Tom so he can rest assured” you said, “and Tom hates surprises” you added before you ran up to the swirly stairs leading to the upper floors. Victoria sat in her place, watching you bounce over the steps until you fully disappeared.

Three years passed since leaving London, and so many happened in those years. But Victoria was glad that you’re safe, and that Tom is also safe. Your magic abilities flourished, you perfected basic wandless magic abilities, you matured a lot. You were more patient, you were more understanding and more empathetic.

You weren’t as hotheaded, you now have the ability of not running your mouth as you wished for. Victoria was happy that she managed to save you, her precious daughter. “You seem very happy today” the hostel owner, Ali, said with his usual smiley face as he gathered some empty liquor cups from the nearby tables.

Without hesitating, Victoria stood up and helped him as she said “I am happy, Ali, I’m finally returning home”.

“Why is it that you call it home, when everyone in that country despises you because of your skin color?” Ali asked. “This is home, this is your home, this country and it’s people”.

“Ali, I told you I don’t know my origins-“ Victoria started, but Ali lifted his finger in the air to silent her, she obeyed. Ali often reminded her of her own father due to his age, and the whiteness in his beard.

“Your origins do not matter as long as the place you’re in is welcoming you” he wisely said, then spread his hands to show his slightly shabby hostel, “are we not welcoming to you?”.

“You are” Victoria said, frowning a little and feeling tears well up in her eyes.

“Then why leave?”.

“I have another child, another responsibility”.

Ali eyes shone with sympathy, “then bring the child here, you told me about your best friend and her child. So bring the child here, he and (Y/N) shall go to Uagadou and you shall continue your work as being my greatest chef”.

Victoria wiped her tears, giggled and nodded “He might not like it, but I will try, this place is truly home to me”.

“I’m sure it’s home to (Y/N) too”, he said taking the cups from Victoria. “Hopefully it will be home to that child” he added.

Victoria and Ali continued to silently gather cups, before they could return to the kitchen to wash them. The hostel door opened to the widest, very loudly that it woke up the sleeping drunks. Several cloaked figures walked in, drenched from the rain.

“I’m sorry, we’re closed for the night” Ali said, walking to them stomping their way inside. One figure, took down the hood, ignored Ali and smiled devilishly, “hello Victoria”.

Victoria let an ear-piercing scream, she scrambled from her place and climbed the stairs on all fours. Tears already streaming down her cheeks. “Let her be, she won’t go anywhere” Aisha said with a sigh.

“Who the hell are you?!-“ Victoria heard before a green light flashed across the hostel, and it went dead silent. The green light flashed many times, before she could reach to the room you were in. They were killing, very easily killing without any care.

Her chest tightened many times, finally, she reached the room. Opened the door so wide and entered it, you were by the window, making the owl fly to send the letter to Tom. “(Y/N) you have to run! You have to go”.

“W-what?” you asked, Victoria’s shoulders shook violently as she sobbed and pushed you closer to the window; wanting you to jump the distance to save yourself. “Run!” she screamed.

Your eyes flashed at the red lining around the hostel, “mother, I can’t! there is a barrier if I run it will kill me” she pulled you from your arm one more time, and shoved you underneath the bed. “Hide! If you die on me I will never forgive myself ever again”.

“Mother-“ she cut you, putting her index over your lips. “(Y/N)” she calmly said, wiping her tears as her features turned stern, to the same features you were used to. The ones that faked being strong and firm.

“I love you so much, and I never in my life loved anyone or anything more than I love you” she said, her hands wrapping over your own as you hid under the bed. “This world might hate you because of your skin, but I want you to grow up to be a strong woman and force them to see you as who you are” her hand squeezed you tighter, almost stopping the blood circulation.

“Put yourself over everything, your safety and well-being over anything and anyone. I raised you right so trust your heart in the decisions you will make”.

“Mum-“ she interrupted you again. “You don’t have to tell me anything, I know” she said.

“No mum, I love you” you said, allowing your tears to drop, not really understanding what’s happening, but you blindly listened to your mum. “I love you too” she said. “Save yourself, do not trust Aisha or anyone ever again the only one you can trust is Tom, do you understand?”.

“I do” you said between hiccups.

The bedroom door swinged harshly, almost ripping off it’s hinges. Victoria quickly stood up from her place, watched Aisha stride inside the bedroom. “Where is she?” she demanded.

“I don’t know” Victoria said, raising her jaw to look at Aisha down her nose, with much hatred.

Aisha stepped closer, “Vicky, I don’t want to kill you”.

“You’re a liar!” Victoria screamed on top of her lungs, almost bursting your eardrums open. You watched Victoria’s shabby sandals take steps behind. “Where is she?” Aisha repeated.

Victoria silently watched Oliver roam around the room, clawing at air to see if you put an illusion spell and shaking the furniture to see if you transfigured into one. Yet, he was walking very close to the bed. From the corner of her eyes, she saw Emily looking down at the bed, her eyes widened when she saw the edge of your robes peeking underneath the bed.

Emily found you, she lifted her head to look at Victoria that shook her head with wide red eyes, tears silently streaming down. But Emily had no choice. Aisha hexed her everyday thinking she helped you and Victoria run away.

“Mother,” Emily called.

Aisha only raised her eyebrow at her daughter that uncomfortably swayed in her shoes. “S-She’s under the bed” Emily said, pointing at the bed. Aisha’s eyes lightened up, then made Oliver crouch down to make sure Emily’s words were precise, “she’s here”.

“Emily, kill her” Aisha mindlessly pointed at Victoria.

Then Aisha walked around the bed, you saw her get on fours and lower her head to look at you. The room flashed green as your mother’s head dropped right by Aisha’s black leather shoes. “Good to see you again, (Y/N)”.

Darkness swallowed your world, and the last thing you remember was your dead mother’s wide eyes looking horrified, as well as getting dragged from your ankle.

Classical heavenly violin was playing, gentle harp sounded as if you were at the gates of heaven, and Piano notes brought it all together in one divine melody. Large and spacious event halls with people looking like pieces of puzzles, they were all from pure-blooded families and as Nancy made sure you knew; they were all from the sacred twenty-eight. You felt that you belonged.

Some people had the same skin color as you, some looked like Nancy. All of these people around you had different faces than the ones you were accustomed to seeing in Hogwarts. You liked it.

You saw many faces you recognized in the Slytherin house. Lestrange, Crabbe, and Nott. Even the Greengrass’s were there, Cereus was shunted to the side with Abraxas—obviously flirting from the way her fingers traced his robes and the way Abraxas’s face was blushing heavily.

You thanked whoever made you, that when you were embarrassed a blush wouldn’t tell on you.

You could see Orion beaming with happiness at the amount of attention he received from the adults. Tom was next to him, polishing his reputation to the noble and powerful families. Whilst Walburga was dancing with Lestrange; every now and then she would turn to throw you a wink. “What a poser” Nancy whispered beside you.

“Come on, Lestrange is handsome she has every right to want to pose” you said, shrugging your shoulders “I would do the same thing”.

“Lestrange looks completely normal” Alphard said as he shook his head stubbornly.

Nancy dismissed Alphard’s words, “I admit that he looks handsome, but she doesn’t even like him she rejected him three times”.

You sighed dreamily, your face feeling hot as you were gazing at all the stunning robes and the dresses and the suits, the harp and the violin melodies were making you feel fuzzy inside “maybe tonight would be his chance, this is a magical night after all”.

Nancy glanced at you, before her eyes widened at the cup in your hands. A fizzy clear drink with a red tint to it. Non-mistakenly fizzy red firewhiskey. “Who gave you that?!” she scolded, taking the drink away from your hands.

“Walburga gave it to me” you said, tilting your head in confusion to Nancy; pulling you outside the hall and towards the outer garden. You lifted your head to look at the sky, littered with tiny pearls and magnificent navy blue horizon.

She made you sit down on a cement bench, fanned your face with her manicured hands “this stupid Walburga- I will skin her alive” Nancy muttered under her breath, “what’s wrong?” you asked her, taking her manicured hands into your own, “are you okay?”.

“No I’m not okay because you won’t be okay in a bit!” she yelled in a whisper, her features scrunching as she whipped her head to glare at Alphard that chuckled at her. “You! why didn’t you take the drink from her?!” Nancy straightened her back, taking large threatening steps to Alphard “I honestly thought she knew how lethal the drink is”.

“Nancy! Mother is looking for you” Nancy’s older sister called, standing by the backdoor. “Stay here until I come back, I will tell an elf to bring a potion” Nancy said, fisted her glamourous robes and hopped over the threshold between the grass and the cobblestoned paths, the backdoor shut behind her.

Alphard sighed, took the tall glass in his hand and transfigured it into water “here you go” he told you, and handed you the cup, smiling to himself. “Why are you smiling?” you said, before sipping the water and trusting that Alphard’s process won’t wake you up tomorrow with a headache or Alphard’s usual hungover states.

“I was just thinking about our first meeting, I was puking and then you helped me and now it’s switched” he said.

“But I’m not throwing up” you interjected lightly.

“You would be if Nancy didn’t realize faster” he said, then noticed the elf running quickly with a small goblet. Alphard took the goblet from Kreacher and then demanded “leave”, without arguments, Kreacher left with a snap of his fingers.

“Here you go” he gently said, and handed the goblet to you. The syrup smelled bitter, churned your upset stomach.

“You must drink it all or you would puke over all of this gorgeous greenery, and I don’t think you want that” he teased, pointing at the pretty rose vines swirling over thick tree barks. Without hesitation, you downed the whole cup.

Your world spirals and you could see black dots across Alphard’s handsome face, finally before your eyes regained it’s senses. Your head and your chest still felt fuzzy as you tried to calm down the throbbing in your head.

Few seconds passed, and the headache was gone but not the fuzziness inside your head. Everything happening right now felt like a dream, “can I sit down?” Alphard carefully asked you.

“Yes of course” you nodded, staring at the thorned roses.

His fingertips sat over your own, but you were too tired to pull them away and the gesture was too innocent to mean anything. “Where did Nancy go…?” you whispered and followed it with an exhale, “her mother possibly wanted her to meet some people at the ministry”.

“Really?” you asked and turned to face him to make sure he wasn’t bluffing, “I’m really happy for her, they would like her and she would secure a job there by the time she graduates” you dreamily sighed once again.

“Are you that happy?” Alphard said, noting your lips that never stopped smiling the whole night. Your demeanor was gentle and wisping with euphoria. “You were smiling the whole day” he noted. You covered the side of your face, not realizing you were smiling.

“Was I?” you whispered, still your smile not dropping. “I’m in indescribable happiness, I love these parties and everyone in it is so…so kind to me and I was told I looked pretty so many times tonight!” you gushed, your voice was a layer above a whisper, but Alphard heard you well.

“No one told you that you’re pretty before?” he asked with a frown.

“Well…my friends do tell me but it doesn’t feel sincere as they’re my friends” you said, recalling the times Nancy, Walburga, Abraxas and even Elizabeth and Eileen told you those words. But you never believed them, although tonight you ought to believe those strangers that knew nothing about you, but still expressed to you how beautiful you look.

Alphard carefully scooted closer to you, his hand fully covering yours now and it didn’t seem unintentional. Your heart was beating way too quickly to act. His other hand sat over the one on your face and brought it down to his lap,

“You’re very beautiful”.

All your body heat gathered on your face, ears and your neck. Stammering slightly, but with courage you thanked him, and took your hands out of his hold. You looked at anything but his unwavering gaze. You cleared your throat and made a space between the both of you, your bottom was at the edge of the bench—more millimeters and you would clash with the grass.

Except he scooted closer to you once again, your thighs not touching his but very close that you could feel his body warmth radiating to you. Instantly, you stood up and pretended to admire the closest tree. It was chanted to have rose vines around it, there were cherry blossoms sprouting instead of leaves.

“Did you know these grow in Asia as well?” he asked.

“I didn’t, did you see them in your last visit to Japan?” you said, tilting your head to look at him. The night was silent, some of the gentle music slipped to the garden. It lifted your heart from the unnerving anxiety of being left alone with Alphard.

His gaze fell to the floor as he smiled, while shaking his head. For long seconds he didn’t speak, and you wondered if you said something that offended him.

Before your lips could open and before your vocal cords could process your concerned question. He said, “you’re making this very hard for me”.

“What?” you choked out with confusion.

“No one remembers my travels, no one actually listens to what I’m saying” he said, standing up to approach you.

Your heart picked up it’s previous pace as Alphard took large yet slow steps closer to you, so as to not chase you away. He was careful and mindful.

Once he reached closer to you, and your chests almost touching. Just like Abraxas; he was blushing heavily as he struggled to form his words to you. Then his palm sat on your face, so gently you might not even feel it if it wasn’t for the heat in his hand.

Alphard Black was gentle, very gentle.

With wide-eyes you gazed at him, nervous and not knowing what to say or what to do. The moonlight contoured his sharp features, his grey eyes in contrast to the night looked brighter and more nerve-wrecking.

“I like you, I like you a lot”.

“I like you too” you said sincerely, although your words were too pure to be real for Alphard. You two had different meaning of liking and it was clear to him. “No, you don’t” he said shaking his head.

You tried to protest, “I do!-“ he interrupted you. “I like you, I want to date you and I know I will fall in love with you, and I want you to belong to me” he said, watching your face still in shock. Embarrassed, he tucked the long dark hair strands away behind his ear.

“I know you don’t like me that way, but we can take it slowly…baby steps” he added.

“Wait…you like me?” you asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Now don’t be so shocked, look at you”.

“Me?” you repeated, then your eyes dropped to gaze at your gorgeous dress and a hand lifted to caress your styled hair. You never imagined the gorgeous Alphard Black would have feelings for you, or how Tom Riddle would think you were seducing him.

It didn’t make any sense to you, “and you’re the kindest person and most thoughtful person I met in my entire life”.

You began your speech with a light frown “you can’t be so sure, how old are you again? You didn’t meet many people-“.

“Yes, but you’re different you’re different than anyone I know” he said. Then his eyes turned hopeful as he asked, “what do you say?”.

You bit the inside of your lips; not wanting to smudge your lipstick. “No”.

His features dropped, and from what you can see in his eyes, his heart dropped too. It made you feel guilty, “I cannot do this to Walburga”.

“What does Wally have to do with any of this?” he demanded with a desperate exhale. “Because she’s one of my closest friends, how do you think she will feel if I went around and dated her brother?”, you fisted the ends of your dress, and stepped away from Alphard.

“I don’t get it, why not?” he asked.

“Because she might see me prioritizing her brother over her, and I don’t want to hurt her. Not for you or for me” you firmly stated, the light left his eyes as they turned sparkly with silent confused tears. Another pang of guilt shot your heartstrings. You didn’t want to hurt Alphard.

“Alphard” you whispered his name, he looked away as you continued “I cannot mess up my friendship with Walburga- or any of my friends, I cannot lose another person, I can’t do it and I won’t do it” you said, recalling the many memories you created with your best friends.

Nancy taking care of you, was the most recent ones. They were good friends, and friends for life. You won’t do anything to jeopardize this precious friendship. Not for anyone, not even for Alphard.

“I’m sorry for hurting your feelings” you said, he shook his head and walked towards the backdoor. As he pulled it open, it was pushed open by Walburga, Abraxas and Nancy. “Oh Alphard!” Walburga happily called, but frowned as he walked past her very quickly.

With a shrug, she apologized “okay I’m sorry for giving you red firewhiskey, I thought it was a funny prank-“.

“A prank?! We’re going to Hogwarts tomorrow, do you want her to be sick the whole time on a train that constantly shakes?” Abraxas scolded, Walburga rolled her eyes “I really thought it was funny, I even had some of it so she isn’t the only sick one tomorrow”.

“She won’t be, I gave her a potion that will make it better” Nancy said, crossing her arms over her chest then added with a smirk “it’s the last one, so you’re going to be the only sick one tomorrow”.

You liked having your friends around you, just when you saw them great comfort was thrusted into your core. With the added gentle melodies of the music coming from inside, you brought the three of them into a hug—struggling a little but got conveyed your message properly.

You sincerely said, “I love you”.

“I love you too” they said it back to you, and they wrapped their arms around each other and around you, bringing you all into a circle with varied heights. You all swayed to the gentle harp melodies “you mean the world to me” you said.

“You’re so affectionate tonight,” Nancy said. “But I like it”.

“I just want my best friends in this whole world to know that I love them and appreciate them” you said, fighting the tears in your eyes—you succeeded.

“We know, you let all of us sleep in your bed- Walburga snores!” Abraxas exclaimed, “and you cling to (Y/N) like a baby!” Walburga didn’t miss a second to retort.

“Honestly, you both are the worst to sleep beside” Nancy said, but regretted it when Abraxas and Walburga whipped their heads to say “you sleep with your eyes open!”.

Although in good humorous spirit, they broke into laughter, and you soon joined them.

Then you thought that you love your friends more than anything in this entire world.

Easter’s Holiday meeting your friends’ families was quite entertaining, the accepted you as who you are and admired your personality. You quite liked it. It was only natural that you were disheartened when it was time to go back to Hogwarts.

Just like how you were all taken to the Black estate. The car rolled across the street, stopped at the entrance of King’s Cross station. Despite it being Spring, you couldn’t help but shiver at the slaps of cold air, you brought your thick coat over your knees properly, Nancy shook her head at you being clad in thick winter clothes.

She didn’t say anything and pulled you behind her, to dismiss the way your eyes shifted to the poor driver trying to lift everyone’s luggage. “The holiday ended very quickly, as if someone played with the time” you heard Abraxas say right before he dissolved between the crowd of platform seven, following the others that all walked inside platform nine and three quarters.

It was only you and Nancy, walking between the crowd. Until a large white police officer took you by your forearm, pulling you and twisting your arm to face him. A scream stopped in your throat as you watched his red angry face, “what are you doing here?!”.

Your whole body shook violently at his loud voice, you wanted to speak to mutter any word you can so he can let you go. “What the fuck is wrong with you?!” Nancy screamed back at him, struggling to pull your arm away from his harsh clinch. He screamed back at her, “I don’t speak your language!”.

“Hey you pig, leave me and my friend alone or I would-“.

“What would an Asian girl like you do? Huh?” he mocked, “your people do not share our trains, so get back to where you came from!”.

Your throat closed up at the whole exchange, people stopped walking just to watch the a white man verbally assaulting two colored girls. Your eyes drifted to the gold ring in his finger, and from his age you knew he possibly had a child of your age.

You hated the way your eyes filled up with involuntarily tears, and the way your body was shaking and your vocal cords giving up on you. You wanted to yell back at him, hell, even smack his head. Not for you, for your good friend Nancy—she didn’t nudge you to speak or to avenge her, she noticed your cloudy eyes.

Your head whipped around, searching for any getaway from this situation. There was the crazy amount of white people surrounding you all, watching and silently judging. Most importantly, not saying anything to stop this scene.

Nancy got sick of it, the way this large white man was purposely mocking by making ridiculous sounds, just to mock her—as if she wasn’t speaking perfectly proper English. Nancy was sickened with the way the man kept on jabbing at your arm, your tears only growing fatter and threatening to spill at any given extra jab.

But it caught her off-guard when you breathed in, and you caught the man finger in your palm. And all she heard was a crack, and then the wails of the man as he exposed his broken finger. Then, you pulled her and sprinted to platform nine.

The cold spring air, infused with the smell of petroleum invaded Nancy’s nostrils. She was too shocked, and allowed you to pull her inside platform nine and three quarters. It sprouted in her head again, truly, and just like Abraxas said behind your back, in good sense, that there was no one like you.

So vulnerable, yet so strong. So cold but still very intimate and warm. You were a great friend, and she couldn’t be more thankful and more selfish that Elizabeth ruined your friendship and made her become closer to you.

You easily stepped over the stairs leading to the interior of the train, and without stopping you walked inside the compartment. It only had Abraxas, mindlessly popping jellybeans into his mouth. His face lightened up when seeing you, but it quickly turned into a frown with the way your tears slipped from your eyes.

“What happened?” he asked, standing up and hugging you into his taller body.

The way your best friend embrace covered all the surrounding hustle and bustle, it heightened your feelings. He smelled rather nice, of pinewood and zesty citrus. What broke you was his gentle question, “are you okay?”.

Your tears broke, and you wept into his robes, you fisted at his robes and wept in his chest like a little baby. His warm palm patted your back, making you cry even harder at the sweet gesture. Why was the world so mean yet so kind to you?

You knew your tears weren’t because of the racist man from before only, it was so many things piling into your heart. The fight with Tom, Alphard hopeful eyes and goodness you couldn’t stop thinking about that hateful letter from before.

Still, you tried to regulate your tears and the heaving, but you couldn’t and the more you try to quieten it would only come spilling out not too long after. “What happened?” you heard Orion’s voice. It brought you closer to reality, and you can sense the hisses from everyone else.

Once you calmed down, you didn’t want to show your face or be enveloped with the light. You only wanted to hug Abraxas and hide your face in the darkness, at least until the sun sets or the train starts moving inside the tunnel.

Abraxas made you sit down beside him, his arms still wrapped around you and your face buried into his chest. Opening your eyes, to look at the light coming from the exposed spot right under your face. Your eyes stared at your lap, until you got adjusted to the lightness. Your lips lifted in gratitude as you saw Walburga’s ringed hand take your own into hers.

No one said anything, which made you even uncomfortable. Until Orion broke a, “where is Tom?”. Strangely, it didn’t bug you as much as it usually would. It started a topic other than the fact you had a meltdown, and you wondered and heated from shame that Nancy possibly saw you as someone weak for breaking into tears like that, she doesn’t know what’s happening with you so it’s only a safe assumption that she would think it’s because of the racist man.

But he was only the cherry on top—or rather the flame to the skipped petroleum. You could almost continuously feel his jabs on your chest and your arms.

“He’s at the prefects compartment, said he doesn’t want to sit here” Abraxas answered.

It brought a bang in your heart, must he truly have to ignore you like that? The childishness of the situation made you want to scoff, but your throat was dry. You didn’t even know what made him tick off, you weren’t sure what you did to make him blatantly ignore you.

Even if it wasn’t the first time he ignores you, this one was the most unreasonable one, so far.

“What happened?” you heard Orion whisper, failing the purpose of the whisper.

Nancy exhaled, “I think there are many reasons, but what made her burst is that a police officer- white of course” she continued after sighing again, “he was verbally abusing us and being racist to us-“ you heard Walburga’s and Orion’s dramatic gasps. “he kept doing this to (Y/N)”.

“What’s his name? I will have him fired immediately” Orion said.

“No! I have a better idea I will tell Alphard so he can practice his hexes on him! unforgivable ones!” Walburga chanted.

“You’re so evil” you heard Nancy say with a disapproving tone, then she snickered and added “but I love it! Let’s do both ideas!”.

Although you felt the need to refuse it, to calm down your unhinged friends, but you didn’t want to. That man deserves it, and he deserves the broken finger and more to the way he treated you, the hate in your heart spread to the fact that there were people simply watching the scene unfold. They too, must be punished.

Your eyes struggled to adjust to the sudden light when Abraxas pulled you away to stare at you. Then he gently covered your heads with his shawl, “do you want to talk about it?” he asked.

You could feel a choked cry coming up to your throat, with even more tears, your face contorted with a frown. “No” you managed to choke out. He covered you with the shawl, perfectly shielding your head from everything, just like you wanted, then he returned you to the previous posture.

Abraxas truly was your best friend. It was your last thought before you drifted into deep slumber.

What felt like three seconds after, you were shook awake. The shawl was on your shoulders, the light wasn’t shocking to your eyes, it was dim; the sun must’ve set down. You expected to see Abraxas’ icy lenses, and his long blond locks greeting you awake. Except you almost gasped seeing the complete opposite.

It was Tom, his dark emerald eyes watched your own follow the curl of his styled hair. “Wake up” he said.

You sighed and lightly stretched your eyes, as he didn’t give you space to stretch your arms further. You surveyed the compartment, besides you and Tom, it was empty and from the lack of the noises outside you could tell the train was empty as well.

“Why were you crying?” he demanded senselessly.

It made a bubble of rage burst in your heart, “why do you care?! Weren’t you ignoring me these past days?!”.

Tom frowned, then lifted his knees off the ground and stood up. “You’re so frustrating”.

You crossed your arms over your chest, stood up and realized you weren’t wearing your school robes, “says the one that changes their attitude with me every single day” as much as you didn’t want to see him or interact with him, you two were walking at the same direction.

“Aren’t you going to change your robes?” he asked.

You frowned, glared at him as you said “shut up” and walked before him to exit the train.

In this cold night, it was only you and Tom. There weren’t any carriages pulled by Thestrals. “We missed them…” he muttered under his breath.

You tightened the shawl around you better, as you walked large steps over the same direction you guessed would take you to the castle. The forbidden forest on both of your sides, “are you going to walk all the way to the castle?” he asked.

The way he was suddenly speaking to you, it was suspicious. But it connected to one point in your head, “are you pitying me for crying?” you demanded.

“I asked you first” he said, exhaling with exhaustion and a slow blink in his eyes.

“Answer me, are you pitying me because I cried?” you repeated, walking towards him which took you only two large steps. “Answer me”.

“Calm down, you’re seething with anger” he said, but even if you weren’t angry before now you were furious. You were calm, you weren’t going crazy because if you were crazy you would take out your wand and burn the forestry, and burn this whole world along it with every racist person.

“No, I don’t pity you” he said.

You didn’t want to argue more with him, so you retraced your steps backwards. “Now, are you going to walk all the way to the castle?” he asked.

“What does it look like? Of course I am” you impatiently answered, the cold weather hit your knees. “I know a shortcut” he said. You tightened your eyes suspiciously at him, “it will take us ten minutes on foot” he added conveniently.

“You can walk this distance but it will take you thirty minutes” he said, shrugging his shoulders before he turned around and walked between the trees that grew thicker and taller. His lips lifted in a smirk when he heard the sticks behind him snap—you followed him.

For a reason, even he couldn’t help but feel his heart leap. The old manipulating techniques he used on you when you were younger, they’re still effective. “Does this mean you will be talking to me?” you asked, shoving your cold fingertips into the coat pockets.

Tom glanced at you, but didn’t speak. “I just wish you would tell me what I do that makes you suddenly turn on me” you said, stopping in your tracks as he stopped.

“What will you do if I tell you what bothers me?” he asked.

Your lips fell open, then shut as your face heated and felt hot despite the cold wind breezing your face. “I will try to become a better…”.

The word friend felt so heavy and more meaningful to say it simply to Tom, also there was some unnerving anxiety that Tom would embarrass you by telling you he never considered you a friend. Finally, you stopped on a word that described you well “I will try to be a better ally”.

“Ally?” he tested the word on his mouth. It wasn’t a bad word, it’s simpler and he felt he can tread on it much better. Even if you two were childhood friends, it hurt that he was the only person that remembers it all. Besides the fact you left him and never returned any of his letter after getting him excited about your return to London, but you never came back.

Remembering what you did to him, his heartbeat slowed—you hurt him and Tom Riddle was someone who held grudges, and never forgave. But he might bend that rule if you’d just say sorry, but how? When he was the only one that remembered it all too well?

“Yes, an ally” you confidently repeated.

“You told me there’s nothing between you and Alphard” he confessed, feeling silly when his words processed into your head, still, he felt better about saying it aloud. “But that was a lie”.

Before you could sigh, and tell him once again what you told him that night at 12^th Grimmauld place. He beat you to it, “be honest”.

You shut your lips, and breathed calmly as you gazed into his eyes. Either the moonlight made them look kinder, or he was feeling kinder to you. At first, it didn’t make sense to you on why Tom would care that much about what’s between you and Alphard.

Perhaps he was worried like you about what would happen as it might ruin your friendship with Walburga, that it might hurt your closest friend’s feelings if you went behind her back with her brother.

But you would never do that, you would never hurt the sweet Walburga. That, and Tom deserved honesty. You sucked in breath as you confessed the second confession of this night, “On Orion’s birthday party, he told me he liked me”.

Tom frowned, before his features turned stiff in shock. It was his worst nightmare happening right before his eyes. Someone else taking you from him, and in those splits of seconds he despised himself. How could he not tell you about something so important? He should’ve told you that you were his childhood best friend, that you meant to him more than anyone else and more than anyone else will.

He should’ve told you that he knew you, he should’ve showed you the charmed picture of you at the bottom of his trunk of you and your mother. He should’ve told you about your mother, and he should’ve showed you all the letters you wrote to him until you reached the age of ten before you completely disappeared.

Tom hoped that he wouldn’t miss his chance if he told you now, he opened his lips to speak “(Y/N) I knew you-“.

“But I rejected him because I could never hurt Walburga like this” you mindlessly interrupted him, when you realized you cut his speech you said “what were you saying?”.

He should tell you, he should tell you, he should tell you. The logical side of his head chanted, because if he doesn’t tell you now then something like this might happen. Although, the petty side of his heart refused.

“I have to tell you something” Tom confessed the second confession of the night. It was very heavy and made your heart crush with concern regardless of not knowing what it is.

Chapter Text

“I have to tell you something” Tom confessed the second confession of the night. It was very heavy and made your heart crush with concern regardless of not knowing what it is.

You remained silent, afraid that if you spoke, he wouldn’t tell you what he was about to uncover. Time seemed to slow down; Tom was very nervous that he could hear his heartbeat in his ear. Your wide clueless eyes proved to him that he has to speak, he must speak.

He cleared his throat, turned his gaze to the floor as he confessed “I knew you in the past, I knew you very well”.

Your lips fell open, a silent “ha?” was barely audible. He licked his dry lips, “I lived with you and your mother till we were seven, in London”.

He couldn’t look at you, he couldn’t take the look of disappointment in your eyes. Even if he truly believed he was right, now he felt the opposite. “Your mother’s name was Victoria, she and my mother were friends so she raised me when my mother died after giving birth to me”.

Although Tom Riddle wished that his words would fly away with the wind, they didn’t. The deafening silence of the forest forced his words to reach you very clearly. Your eyebrows connected in a light frown, and your lower lip fell a little with your great shock.

Tom felt conflicted, on one hand he didn’t want you to scream at him or scold him about never telling you all of this. Or that you would pressure him for reasons, and how silly would he look in comparison to a girl that was fighting to survive in an assassination group every day. Also, the fact you were having a major identity crisis didn’t go unnoticed by him.

You couldn’t recall one thing, and you tried to convince yourself it was for the best as it was a decision your older self opted for. However, it doesn’t mean that the remains didn’t have a major effect on you. Whatever it was, Tom wanted you to react.

But you didn’t.

With your parted lips in a shocked O shape. You took one step back, then you rotated your body and walked. Without a destination, but for a reason and it’s to get away from what Tom could clearly tell form your shocked look—the traitor.

All along, he thought you betrayed him. But he was the one that betrayed you by never telling you anything. By burying your special childhood, relationship, and your background. Oh, and you dearest mother. It was all buried by a spiteful Tom.

Perhaps your older self hoped that Tom would be the one to tell you about your mother and him. But he betrayed you. He didn’t speak and hid it for almost half a year. “Stop, don’t walk away from me” Tom followed you, taking your wrist and turning you around.

But you unhooked his hold, with choked tears in your red eyes.

You didn’t speak, but your furious look told him all he needed to know. Tom Riddle wasn’t someone that apologized, he always did the right thing. Even if he did say “Sorry” it would be a shallow one, and one he didn’t mean. To him, it was just a word that he said to maintain his perfect boy reputation.

Although this time, his apology was sincere, and he meant it “I’m sorr-“ you didn’t let him finish the apology. He heard the slap way before he could feel it.

His right cheek was tingling, it didn’t hurt him physically as much as it hurt him emotionally.

“Did you enjoy watching me suffer?” you asked him, with a strangled voice and not waiting for an answer as much as he wanted to shake his head—he did not take any pleasure being the only one that carried memories. Being the only one that had a special spot for you.

It was the first time that Tom spite and anger towards the world, put him in this spot. Before he told you, it felt that you were far. But now you were impossible to reach. With the hateful look in your tearful eyes, the glower in your face that harshly contradicted from your pretty and peaceful features at all.

This look alone could bury him in his grave, and he know that from that moment, he was dead to you.

“I- I didn’t, my Cheshire kitten I’m sorry” he apologized, his eyes burning as he freely called you that damned nickname. The one that you knew meant something deeper when he said it to you that night in Slughorn’s Christmas party. You knew it meant something but you needed confirmation, but he lied to you.

Your index pointed at him, your shoulders were shaking as your tears were threatening to spill, “don’t you dare call me that”.

Tom lifted his hand, to cover your index and slip your fingers into his warm palm. But you took your index before he could fool you with another gentle physical touch. One that would make you spiral and fall into his strong presence.

Your handprint on his cheek was visible, in a light pink shade that didn’t equate your anger in any shape or way. You wanted to shake him from his shoulders, and scream at him at how he betrayed you and hid so many important things from you.

He must be a sadist that enjoyed watching you suffer, and not belonging to anything or anyone. Was this why he urged his friends to become closer to you, because he pitied you? The thought made your tears spill, and your friends faces flashes in your head.

You felt so betrayed. Like you were in an evil and a cruel prank constructed by this boy that you thought you could trust. The one you felt was similar to you.

“I ha-“ your words stopped in your throat, you whimpered in pain and a suffocated out a whine, “I hate you” you repeated more fiercely. You thought those words wouldn’t mean something to him. But you needed to say them, to ease the disappointment in your core.

So you didn’t believe it when his eyes widened, a silent tear spilled from his eye, cascaded down his cheek and your eyes followed it. “Take.it.back” he told you.

With one last push, you pushed him away from your path you as you said, “go to hell”.

It was difficult for you to navigate your way through the forbidden forest, it was dark and the crescent shaped moon barely gave you any means of light necessary to see where you’re going. You tripped, over tree barks but never fell.

What upset you even more, was that even when Tom confirmed your suspicions and finally put a title to the name Victoria. You couldn’t attach a face or a memory to her, your legs gave up on you when you heaved in breath to calm down your wavering heart.

But that only made you burst out in tears, disobedient and stubborn tears that would only multiply when you try to stop them. “Mama” you cried into your sleeve, very glad that no one was around to see you crying. When you gave up about silencing your tears, you let out all your emotions.

From, sadness to anger but you were a little glad. That at least someone knew you, that someone knew you before you were kidnapped. Before your life was stolen and before you were trained to be a lethal machine.

What you couldn’t understand was how you were considered lethal—when you were falling apart like that. When you were done with it all, you stole a breath from the world and picked up your broken figure to continue your walk to Hogwarts.

It was difficult, but not dangerous for a reason you couldn’t understand. But you could swear you saw a black shadow in the corner of your peripheral, too exhausted to decipher it you ignored it and walked ahead.

By the time you reached the castle, dinner was over and the lights were off to prove that you spent two hours walking. So you beelined to your dorm, thankful that your two extremely polite roommates were asleep. So you curled up in a ball, in the same clothes you wore the whole day.

“I’m not going to betray you”.

Tom words, that night you got that anonymous hateful letter. He said those same exact words to you, he said that he would find whoever sent you that letter and would stop them. Then a thought glowed in your head, intercepted and flourished very quickly.

What if it was Tom that sent you that letter?

With one last blink, you promised yourself that the next day you would wake up early and shower. Also, you pledged to avoid Tom.

“Did you see (Y/N)?” Abraxas asked upon sitting in the Slytherin table. Orion shrugged his shoulders, “maybe she over-slept?” he said and set his satchel over the bench, his new paint brush was sticking out of his satchel. Quickly, Abraxas took it out and examined it “a paint brush? A cheap one above all, you would never buy this to yourself”.

Quickly, Orion took it form Abraxas and pinched his upper arm as he said “it’s a gift from someone I actually tolerate!”.

In between giggles, Abraxas said “there’s no way Tom gifted you something” his eyes absentmindedly turned to look for you, just to see you laugh. But you weren’t there.

“(Y/N) gifted it to me” he said, making Abraxas raise an eyebrow “she gifted me something too” he said proudly, then lifted his hand to the air and said “accio”.

A simple bookmark shot to his palm, “she got me this accioable bookmark, each time I think about getting it I forget, I’m so thankful”.

“I got a gift too!” Walburga loudly said, her hands slapping the two boys’ shoulders to startle them. “Wally! Stop that!” Abraxas complained, then his eyes turned once again to your usual seat, to complain to you about Walburga. Again, you weren’t there.

Walburga creased her sleeve down to expose the fabric bracelet, “it’s a permeant friendship bracelet in my favorite colors!”.

“I got a hairpin” Nancy announced, flipping her hair to dramatically expose her pretty and simple hairpin.

“But where is she? I haven’t seen her ever since we left the train” Abraxas pressured in a whiney voice, but quickly pressed his lips together awkwardly when he got a judgmental glare from Nancy.

“Is Tom not coming? It’s unlike to be late” Walburga asked, now sitting and crunching on the toasted bread. “I bet he’s already in class” Nancy answered.

Orion words caught the two girls attention, “actually, he said he doesn’t want breakfast”.

“Yeah, I heard his voice he did seem a little tired- Oh look it’s (Y/N)!” Abraxas said, waving his hand. He could swear you made a fleeting eye contact with him, before you stuck your head back to your book and retreated your steps back outside the great hall.

You felt guilty about ignoring your friends, but you knew Tom would be with them. Also, Tom knew them way before you, and if there’s an issue between you and Tom, they might as well take his side. It scared you.

With your head dunk in your potions book, you bumped into a sixth year Gryffindor. “Watch where you’re going!” they said, pushing you back from your shoulder few steps back. You were too tired to fight back, so you ignored them and walked away faster.

Your heart pounding crazily in your core, and one idea in your head. What if you had decided to leave Hogwarts? Leave it all and either spend your days at home, you’re no good at studying anyways. But also, what if you went to study in Uagadou? You heard Abraxas say how he got accepted in Durmstrang.

Maybe, you could send a letter to Zane and he would organize everything you need to got to Uagadou. Then you will have a new start, a new fresh beginning without racism, without getting doubted by your professor about your sanity, and without seeing Tom Marvolo Riddle ever again.

Without wasting another second, you walked to the owlery. Then you wrote a hasty letter asking Zane if you could transfer to Uagadou, then you borrowed one of the school owls and tied the letter to its leg. Because it was still the first day of school after easter holiday, there were many owls to choose from.

You felt as it was a sign, a sign encouraging you in your decision.

Finally, you quickly scattered down the stairs and bolted through the corridors to reach to your potion’s classroom.

“(Y/N)!” Abraxas hissed your name, waving at you as you entered the potion’s classroom. His light eyes were gazing at you with the usual excitement and adoration. Somehow, to you it wasn’t sincere, so you looked away and placed your belongings in your usual spot.

In between Orion and Tom.

The latter carefully watched you as you ignored his existence. It would be fairly easy to ignore Orion, he doesn’t talk to you much to begin with. Tom never took his gaze off you, but you didn’t humor him with a glance.

During Slughorn’s lecture, you tried your best to pay attention to what he was saying. However, the anger brewing inside you was so suffocating that you could feel your eyelids growing hotter. “Start working on your potions, individually please” Slughorn finished.

With your robes discarded to your chair, and your sleeves rolled up to your forearms you began working.

“Why didn’t you come to breakfast this morning?” Orion asked you.

You lightly cleared your throat, and avoided looking at him as you answered, “I was sick”.

He let a gentle hum, walked closer to you and put his palm on your forehead. “There’s no fever, what are your symptoms?”

Stepping back, to be out of reach “exhaustion, whatever, just let me be”.

“I’m sorry for being concerned” Orion spat, rolling his eyes at you.

“Well I didn’t ask you to be” you rudely said, harshly stirring the liquid after adding the newts eyes. Tom talked to you after everything, “you shouldn’t stir hard, it might bubble over the stove“ of course, when he talks to you it has to be instructions.

He might also enjoy making you feel stupid.

Your face turned hot with frustration and anger, you glared at him as you quipped loudly in the quiet dungeon, “and Tom if you don’t shut up right now I might punch you!”.

The effect of your words was much stronger, and it oddly reminded you of the first time you loudly argued with Tom and ended up in detention with him. Slughorn called your name softly, “(L/N)!”.

“Professor, I’m sorry but I need to beat some sense into Tom”.

“(Y/N)…” Slughorn called once again, gently.

Your face temperature turned higher once again “I’m going to leave” you quickly said, as you gathered your things, and threw them all into your satchel as you exited the classroom. The door loudly shut, it echoed and the sound vibrated in your whole body. You began hyperventilating, feeling many different feelings at once, embarrassment and anger above all.

Clawing your hands by your face, as you cursed Tom.

For a reason, blaming him for everything made you feel a little better. “(Y/N)!” you heard Abraxas call you, his long legs allowed him to run and stand in your way. “What was that?” he asked, heaving a little as he watched you with concern.

“Abraxas, let me go” you said.

“Not before you tell me what the hell is up your arse this morning! Ignoring me twice and now starting fights with our friends!” he yelled with concern.

Sharing a long gaze with a worried Abraxas shook something in you, mostly pulled tears into your eyes as you shifted your weight on one leg and crossed your arms over your chest—trying to solace yourself in anyway. “Tell me” he softly prompted.

“Tom lied to me, he knew me from before from before I lost my memories, I think I came to this stupid racist school just in hopes of finding him and him telling me everything-“ a heave cut your speech, you tried to regulate your breathe and shaky voice.

Abraxas face turned rigid with shock, he didn’t speak as he watched you place your palm on your heart then harshly gripping on the fabric and trying to ease the pain there. You doubted he understood your situation, he didn’t know that your memories were willingly extracted, still you continued.

“Everything is very overwhelming, and I hate myself so…so much”.

“(Y/N)…” he called your name softly, then took a step closer to you.

You stepped back, forcing the distance between you to be bigger. Abraxas felt that you were trying to make it bigger emotionally too. “This is why I’m leaving Hogwarts” you finally dropped the fact bomb.

“What” Abraxas whispered, his features blank and drained from all color. “Yeah, I’m leaving Hogwarts” you repeated, looking away from Abraxas teary eyes.

“Is it because of the mudbloods? I will destroy them all, please don’t go” Abraxas tugged on your arm, as gently as he would when asking you about your opinion on something on an ordinary day. As if he wasn’t trying to convince him to leave him.

“If it’s Tom then I can- I…” his tone was wobbly as his tears spilled down his pale face. “I don’t know what I can do if it’s Tom, but please put me before him you’re my best friend, (Y/N)”

“I’m sorry” you finalized, weakly clawing his fingers off your arm. He whined your name with his tears fogging his vision, as if it was time to say good bye already. “I’m sorry” you repeated.

Tom couldn’t figure out how to approach you. He didn’t know whether it would be a good idea to walk up to you, and show you the only picture he had of you and your mother. Or show you the stack of letter you sent him describing your days, the journeys you took, and the people you met.

You avoided him with all your might, if you saw him walking on a corridor you would turn the other way and speed up your walking, clutching your books with a frown on your face. He often caught you staring, or more accurately glaring at him. He didn’t blame you, he did after all hide so many things from you.

You did say you hated him that night.

Then Tom decided that maybe avoiding you would be the best option for the both of you, the plans of killing Dumbledore, he can do them by himself—you definitely wouldn’t want to be stuck with him. At this point you might as well hate Tom more than you despise Dumbledore.

What alarmed Tom more was the way Abraxas would give him blaming looks. The blond boy was now more reserved with Tom, not craving his approval as much as he craved your approval. Although Abraxas words one night in the Slytherin common room shook Tom’s world.

“(Y/N) is leaving Hogwarts”.

If a pin was to be dropped in the deafening silence, it would echo. “You’re joking” Orion said.

“No, she is, she told me few days ago and this is why she’s been ignoring us lately”.

“We didn’t do anything to her, it’s the muggle-borns I tell you” Walburga said loudly with a frown.

“They’re mudbloods, from now on I will call them mudbloods, and they don’t deserve to be studying in this school with us” Orion added. “Those mudbloods would see hell from me tomorrow, I swear” Nancy said.

“Did she tell you why?” Tom asked Abraxas.

The blond glared at him, he wanted to yell at Tom and tell him that it’s all his fault, that he was the breaking point of you. That he also blamed him for everything just like you did. But then Abraxas didn’t want to meddle in, he felt as if your story was longer than you had revealed to him.

He always had this feeling buried within him, that you were bigger than you had told him. But he trusted you, because you were the first person to touch his heart. Even if he didn’t know you for longer than a year he still felt that he knew you for a longer time because of the amount of great feelings he had for you.

You came in wrecking Abraxas world in a good way, and forcing him to care about you so much, you made him tolerate himself, so he was shocked to find out that you hated yourself. “She didn’t tell me why, said everything is just overwhelming” Abraxas finally answered.

“I think her breaking point was that racist police officer” Nancy commented. Walburga clinched her fist as she let an angry exhale out, “why do we have to lose our friend because of muggles?! And mudbloods that shouldn’t even be here” then she turned to face Nancy, “we should hex all the mudbloods tomorrow, tell me you agree”.

“I agree, but I’m way too angry to wait for tomorrow” Orion interjected.

Upon all the commotion and discussion of ways to torture the muggle-borns, Abraxas gaze lifted to watch Tom—whom didn’t speak after his question. His eyes were glued to the floor, harshly, as he clinched his fist very harshly that his cut nails indented his skin and pricked it.

“No.” Tom finally talked.

The upset pure-blooded Slytherins stopped talking, then brought all their attention to Tom. “They made her want to leave us, we have to retaliate!” Walburga shouted, her shrilled tone choked her throat a little.

“Then risking yourself and everyone to get expelled? Bringing bad reputation to your name and us?” Tom dismissed, standing up as Walburga struggled to answer back, she didn’t want to bring shame to her family’s name, but she also wanted to avenge you, then maybe it will get you to change your mind.

“I understand your point, Tom, but we have to do something about it so (Y/N) doesn’t leave” Orion argued back, which perhaps was the first time ever he argued against Tom. It made Tom smirk a little, he had been trying so hard for the past five years to get this group to work with him against muggles, those people that will soon be the heirs to their families. The big names in the wizarding world, the ones that had such power in this wizarding world.

You managed to make them all get violent against muggles in less than five months. Truly, no one was like you.

“I never said we shouldn’t retaliate, I said it shouldn’t be messy and tracked back to us” Tom finished, making them all slowly nod their heads and realize his meaning.

“It shouldn’t be in school, then it will be obvious a student did it, we should do it in a place where mudbloods…” Tom felt a little better saying that word fiercely, as he continued “a place where mudbloods and people the blame can be shifted to”.

“Hogsmeade” they all said together. This weekend it would be the first trip after easter’s holiday, which meant many students would go there and the castle wouldn’t be as packed. “I want to burn the whole village and with everyone in it, I want it to be all dark” Walburga said, fisted the arm of the sofa.

Everyone turned silent, as Tom turned around to face the glass facing the great lake, ”we will do that, and more”.

Next morning while your friends were scheming devious plans to retaliate, you were up at the owlery, feeling too antsy to wait for Zane’s response in your dorms. Even if he had refused you transfer schools, your mind was dead set on leaving Hogwarts.

You wished to be alone, to be left inside your head and hoped you wouldn’t run into any the Slytherin circle. There was no doubt that Abraxas told them all, if you saw Walburga or Nancy they would make leaving harder for you. You loved your friends, but right now you didn’t want to see them.

The universe was never on your side, so you only sighed when you heard your being called, “(Y/N)”.

You turned around, facing Orion. He was the last person you expected to see, and you couldn’t quite figure out what he would tell you. Orion was sometimes nice to you, but you were rude to him in that potions class. Also, he did have a crush on Tom and from his perspective he only knew you were rude to Tom without a reason.  

Orion bit his lower lip, then sighed as he said “do you really have to leave?”.

“I…leaving would make my life easier”.

He didn’t speak as his eyes watched an owl fly inside the owlery, and land on your shoulder, demanding for the letter in it’s leg to be untied. You did so, as you avoided Orion’s looks. Before you could open the letter, you looked at Orion one last time.

“Don’t go” he immediately said. “Please” he added.

You looked down to the letter in your hand, “being here, it’s so hard” your chest felt heavier than ever, because even Orion asked you not to leave—making it much harder. “Don’t be selfish, Orion” you gently coaxed.

“If being selfish will make you stay, then I don’t mind being called selfish”.

Your gaze settled on him, as he demanded “who is making it hard? Just give me names and I will take care of it” his eyes turning red.

“Is it the mudbloods?” he insisted stubbornly.

“I suppose they’re one of the main reasons”.

It would be amusing if you told him the many reasons driving you out of this school, and that the main reason to it all was Tom Marvolo Riddle. The boy he loved and cherished so much. “Or is it because of what Tom did, be honest”.

Your thoughts stopped circulating, your body froze as you watched Orion with a frown, “what do you mean?”.

“You know what I mean” Orion pressured, stepping closer to you.

“Abraxas told you? Well since you already know, yes, Tom is the main reason to why I want to leave” you said, crossing your arms over your chest as you prepared yourself to Orion’s explosive anger, and his argument to stand with Tom.

Surprisingly, he didn’t blame you, he only said “I think you want to leave because the mudbloods racism is piling on too much, and it was your breaking point”.

With a frown, “I know you’re in love with Tom, but this doesn’t mean you get to analyze things from your perspective and shift the blame wholly on something else, Tom hurt my feelings”.

“He said he was sorry”.

“And I’m under no obligation to accept his apology and pity” you strongly said, now unfolding the letter and hoping that Zane words would calm you. “Don’t” Orion said, taking the letter from you. “Give it back or I will hex you”.

“We need to talk more about it” he said, lifting the paper over your head. “Try to see things from Tom’s point of view”.

“I don’t need to see it from his point of view, he hurt me and that’s it!” you argued, your hand clawing his forearm as you tried to take the letter that contained your fate from him. “At least understand that there is an explanation to why he did it”.

“What are you? Tom’s spokesman? Why do you care so much about justifying his actions? He did what he did and I’m leaving”.

“I’m- Well whoever I am just listen to Tom’s explanation”.

“I don’t want to speak to him ever again, and if you don’t give me that letter I won’t speak to you ever again, Orion”.

“I don’t care if you don’t speak to Orion, I want you to speak to me and be here!” he shouted, you stopped trying to get the letter back from him. “You’re Orion, stupid” you commented exasperatedly.

You heard steps coming from the stairs in the owlery. Orion glanced to the stairs from the glassless windows. “You will listen to Tom’s side of the story” he demanded.

“I won’t” you said, glaring at him.

“If you don’t listen to me, I will hurt the next person that walks in” he said, turning to the person that entered the owlery now. It was a third year boy, a Gryffindor, and you remembered seeing him many times in Gryffindor common room from when Elizabeth would let you in.

He would be smiling and laughing with his friends, he would sometimes contort in discomfort when you would sit next to him. “Hey, mudblood if you tell anyone about this I will kill your parents and then you” Orion threatened, drawing out his wand that didn’t look like Orion’s wand.

It was Tom’s wand, then it all made sense to you. This wasn’t Orion Black, this was Tom Riddle disguised at Orion. Polyjuice potion.

Your lips were too frozen to move as you watched Tom stun the boy, “are you going to listen to me now?” he asked you one last time, you saw the boy flail his legs and arms in the air as he screamed, but a quick silencing hex from Tom worked. You gulped, to wet your dry throat.

“So you’re Tom, huh? Too desperate to prove you’re not wrong?” you said sarcastically and stepped back from him as if you had touched the world’s unfortunateness goblet. Orion’s features began fading from Tom’s complexion, “answer, are you going to listen to me or do I have to hurt this boy?”.

You glanced at the boy, he was weeping silently and you sensed he was begging you to release him. “He was racist to me, I don’t care what you do to him” secretly, you hoped that Tom would drop all of this madness and let the boy go.

But that was the dumbest thing you ever thought of, as Tom pushed his wand at the air and it made the boy roll down the stairs of the owlery, his body rolled over many times. With your lips parted open in shock, you turned to face Tom. Orion’s features fully away from his face.

He was looking cold, unbothered and evil above all.

Right. This was the boy that was researching how to make Horcruxes. He was the one that suggested killing Dumbledore. He extended his palm to you, prompting you to place your hand inside and let him take you somewhere to speak to you.

But you didn’t, you refused by crossing your arms over your chest tightly and looking away “if you have something to say, then say it here”.

“Do you want to see your mum or not?” he pressured.

Slowly, you watched him from your peripheral vision. You let out a witty response, “now blackmailing me with my mother?-“.

He interrupted you, “when will you stop painting me as the bad guy?!”.

“Uhm let me think about it” you sarcastically said, before you exclaimed “maybe ever since you told me you lied to me?!”.

“Well I told you the truth, didn’t I?!”.

You wanted to argue back, but you stopped yourself as you maintained eye contact with him. You opened your lips to ask him why he hid it from you. But you heard quick footsteps coming up the northern stairs, he quickly seized your wrist and ran down the southern stairs.

It felt as if you two have been running down the steps for a long time, and being followed by prefects as they screamed for whoever that was running away to get back. “If only you listened to me from the beginning, this wouldn’t have happened” he hissed, shifting the blame on you.

“I wasn’t the one hexing the mudblood!” you snapped, your heart racing with the quick footsteps following you two. Finally, you reached the lower level of the tower, and ran the short corridor before reaching the main corridors.

Tom shoved you inside a broom closet, it was tight and cube-shaped when it had you only but when Tom slipped inside and shut the door quietly, it was even tighter. Your chests were touching, your face would be touching his shoulder if you didn’t force it back against the wall. Tom’s face was pressed on the top of your head.

He was embarrassed that if you paid more attention, you would sense him sniffing your natural scent mixed with the scent of your coconut and vanilla hair products. He couldn’t help but smile at it all.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” you whispered.

“Because I tried to force myself hate you”.

Tom heard you exhale with irritation, so he continued, “do you want me to lift up the barrier in your memories?”.

You couldn’t believe him, you knew the barrier was a powerful spell and only powerful wizards can lift it. “Can you do that? Are you joking?” you said with slight sarcasm and shock.

“Of course I can, do I look weak to you?” although his question was meant to be rhetorical, his gaze was still fixated on you as he waited patiently for you to answer. Tom worked so hard to become who he is right now, to be stronger and more powerful so he can protect you just like you did when you two were younger.

“No, it’s just that the spell is very powerful” you lightly said.

“I am powerful, I can do it”.

You saw his frown, but you tried to reason with him “Tom you’re only fifteen there’s no way you can lift a strong spell made by a forty something auror”.

He firmly said “age has nothing to do with power”.

You quickly argued back “but it does with experience!”.

Tom exhaled, closed his eyes for three seconds before he asked you “(Y/N), are you scared of what you will find when I lift the barrier?”.

That question shook your universe, and your legs got a little wobbly, your heart beat quickened, and you lost control over your body as it shook with mixed feelings. “What makes you say that?”

“You’re questioning my power, and you’re deflecting the topic”.

“…I am scared” you confessed.

“I’m here with you, and I will be for a long time” Tom reassured.

You rolled your eyes, and if you could step back away from him then you would’ve done it—but the closet was too tight that all you could was turn your head to the side. You said, “Tom, with all due disrespect I don’t like you”.

“Because I hid something from you?”.

“No, because you lied to me!” you said, prodding his chest with your index.

“Try to see things from my perspective, from my experience and how it all looked to me”, his tone was shadowed with a hint of desperation. It felt as if this was an ongoing cycle, so you gave up as you closed your eyes and rest your head on the wall behind you.

“I was seven when you and Victoria left me in my worst nightmare—an orphanage, I was alone when you and Victoria had each other” you heard him say.

You finally opened your eyes to look at his dark eyes, “I was treated like a freak for many years, I still get treated like one when I return there” he looked to the side for a second before returning his gaze on you, “then the letters you used to send me suddenly stopped, and you wouldn’t respond to any of my letters and I-“ when his tone started shaking, he stopped speaking at once.

“When you return to me, you don’t have memories of us and you hated me and it seemed as if I was the only one hung on the past” he held your hand, it caught you off-guard and it all felt surreal “can’t you see things from my point of view?”.

Your heart picked up it’s pace, pounding violently inside you as you tried to think of something smart to say to him. Although honestly, you have run out of things to say to Tom Riddle. So, you only dived headfirst and swam in his eyes.

Even in the dark, you can see your reflection in his eyes and his dilated pupils. “Do you want me to lift the barrier?” he asked once again, more serious and this time you believed him more. You even could say you trust him a little bit more.

You inhaled in a sharp breath, and weighed the advantages of getting back your memories versus not getting them at all.

If you got your memories, then you will know what happened to your mum, you will know about your past life and you will gain more knowledge about your power, if you were an animagi then you will know what animal you can turn into.

Maybe you will even know if you had a father, maybe then your personality will grow stronger and so will your powers as you’re more knowledgeable. It will be nice if you had memories, even if they’re bad memories. You hated being clueless the most, feeling like your head is a blank slate and you were a shell of someone that once mattered.

Still, you argued more to yourself than to Tom, “what if I wanted not to remember it because it’s painful?”.

He didn’t answer you, but you felt his full attention on you. “What if it was so painful that I wanted a new beginning?” you added with a whisper.

“It’s all in the past now, your present and future are what matters the most now”.

His words were reassuring, “your present is different than your past, your present is better”.

“Is it?”.

“Only one way to find out”.

You looked at Tom’s captivating eyes, they trapped you in a trance and held your gaze. The corner of his lips lifted in a hint of a faint smile, very faint you could mistake it for something else. Although the softness in his eyes convinced you. So, you panted a sharp breath in, and told yourself that if you learned something you didn’t like, then you will be strong and cope with it.

Even if it’s breaking a decision your older self made when you thought you knew the future.

Finally, you exhaled and nodded.

Despite the petty side of your brain and the part of your heart that holds grudges, you wanted to figure out Tom more. Then carefully, Tom placed his right hand on your head as he whispered, “it will be difficult, but I’m here”.

His words gave you some sort of solace, and it thickened the point about wanting to have your memories back, and it’s to know the special bond and the relationship you had with Tom.

“I’m ready” you told him.

You didn’t feel anything for a second, but the next second you felt your brain twist with a headache. A shockwave of electricity, the small closet shook with a blue light burst of energy as you screamed because of the torturing pain in your head.

Then your vision dotted with black, and your weak legs gave up on you then you felt Tom’s strong arms wrapping around your waist, and pulling you even closer to him. It was a brief moment that pulled you out of your mind for a minute, but it was so powerful.

Your eyes clogged up with tears as everything started making sense to you.

“Tom…” you called him in a whisper, his eyes were blown open with slight anxiety. “You sent me letters?” you asked.

“Hundreds”.

“I sent you letters too”.

His gaze turned even sadder, “you did?”.

You only hummed, feeling more comfortable in his touch now that you can recall him as the boy from your childhood, your best friend that you went through all of this just to see again. “This world…it hates us so much” he whispered, his arms now tight.

Snaking your arms under his arms and bringing him in the warmest hug you can give, “I have been waiting for you…for so long” you heard his voice very snug to your ear. “I’m so sorry for not telling you in the beginning” he apologized, his tone shaky as his breath.

The words rolled of your tongue very easily, as you imagined the little boy in your new memories coiling to himself in a small bed, in a cold place, and alone “I forgive you”.

“I missed you” he muttered, it wouldn’t have been heard if he said any lower but you heard it clearly. Making you smile tiredly, “I missed you too”.

At that moment, it was just you and Tom embracing each other and compensating for all the time that passed. It completely slipped from your mind that just minutes ago, your mind was set to stone to leave Hogwarts and leave him.

Tom didn’t want to think what would happen if you refused to get your memories back, or if he wasn’t stuck with you in this small broomsticks closet.

However, your eyes fell onto the letter from Zane, just beside you. Slowly, you pulled your arms back to yourself and broke the hug as you kneeled to get the letter. Tom watched you open it, with a frown on his eyebrows.

Reading the contents of the letter, which was Zane’s agreement to whatever plans you had in mind. Saying he would arrange everything for you to transfer easily if you were sure about it.

You parted your lips to speak, now conflicted about going or staying. “I-“.

Tom snatched the letter from your hands, crumbled it behind him as he refused “you’re not leaving, there’s no reason for you to leave”.

You frowned, unable to match that the little Tom you used to protect back then is now this powerful and charismatic boy. The Tom that you would fight his bullies for him, the same boy that was afraid of the dark, it was the same boy as this boy in front of you right this moment. The one that opened the chamber of the secrets and released the basilisk, the one that had the whole school in the palm of his hand.

“You’re not leaving me, not again” he stubbornly repeated—interrupting you when you tried to speak.

“That’s not your decision” you said, taking the crumpled letter from the floor, but Tom took it once again and crumpled it right again then dropped it, finally stepping on it.

“Why are you even leaving? If it’s the racism then I will deal with it”.

You sarcastically laughed, “as if it’s something you can erase with the flick of your wand”.

“Give me until this weekend, decide after the Hogsmeade trip” he stubbornly finalized.

Sighing, and not feeling like you want to argue with him after all the shock of the memories. The misery of your dead mother, the faces that contorted in pain whenever you whispered unforgiveable curses. Also, the fact you had a sister, one that you had to leave behind, and she was the sender to all the hateful letters, you can never forget her handwriting.

“Now, tell all me all about what happened to you” he gently coaxed.

You sighed again, sliding your back with the wall as you sat down on the concrete and invited him to sit down too. “After writing my last letter for you, Aisha came and killed mum—I was obliviated and then brought to their hideaway, I woke up the next day”.

When you opened your eyes, the first thing you saw was harsh sun, it made you shut your eyes till they got accustomed to the brightness. You weren’t alone, you knew that from the sound of silent shuffling in the room.

Then when you sat up on the bed, the other person in the room let a silent and a childish gasp. It must be a child. They walked towards you and said, “I’m glad you’re awake, how are you feeling?”.

Your voice cords were dry and hoarse as you cleared your throat, “where is my mum? Where am I? Who are you?”, finally, you opened your eyes and let them settle on the little girl only a year or two older than you, her hair was tightly braided on her head and accentuating her beautiful round face.

“I believe your mother left you here with us, and here is with Aisha and her family you know? They train us to hurt colonizers just as they hurt our people” the load of information this girl was uncovering to you was too much.

First, your mum left you with Aisha? That was difficult to believe, last thing you remember was her telling you about going back to London. Then a blank slot, you only remember being vaguely awake when you were carried into this room at night, you remember the feeling of being pressed and pulled many times but it ended very quickly.

Still, the girl looked sincere and trust-worthy.

So you repeated your third question, as you leaned your back to the wall behind you, “who are you?”.

Her smile widened, and she took brave steps closer to you, wrapped her hands around yours, “I’m your sister”.

“That’s impossible, mum told me I’m her first and only biological child” you immediately shook your head, but then it dawned on you, why this girl didn’t look like you much. She must be your sister from your father, one you didn’t hear about at all.

When she saw the surprise on your face, she smiled and nodded “that’s right, I’m your sister from your father”.

“You have a sister?” Tom asked you, as you two walked out of the closet when the sun set. It was dark, and even though you were ridiculously exhausted you wanted to spend more time with Tom. Now seeing him in a different light, now you see him as the boy from your childhood one you cannot believe time made him into who he is right now.

You wondered if the outcome would be different if Aisha never existed, if you didn’t have royal blood.

“Yes, we have the same father and he has royal blood” you answered lightly, gently taking his hand as he helped you ascend the stairs, “it just means our animagi is a lion and our magic cannot be traced, this is why my father is still missing” his hand was warmer and bigger than yours, and it brought some warmness into your heart as you tried to ignore the fact you’re holding hands with him.

“Which is why Aisha wanted to have me and my sister, so we can torture and she can kill and we flee the scene” you briefly explained, carefully took steps over the stairs as your head was still pounding from the sudden thrust of memories.

“A lion? Your animagi is a lion?” Tom repeated slowly.

“Well…a lioness to be exact”.

Lastly, when you reached the seventh floor you pulled your hand out of Tom’s grasp as you reached to the large and deserted corridor. It was dinner time by now, so mostly everyone was downstairs at the common room or inside their dorms.

That, and the seventh floor was mostly deserted anyways.

You watched Tom pace three times, and you couldn’t help but laugh as you told him “you look ridiculous”.

You were reminded of the first time he brought you to the room of requirements, only this time you knew him better and he shared your look with light humor. When the rocks parted, and a door appeared you stepped inside the room first and then Tom.

Very quickly, you sat on the sofa closest to the fireplace, and took off your shoes then brought your legs over the sofa and under your body “what happened to Victoria?” he asked you, now sitting next to you

Slowly, you answered him, now aware how much Victoria meant to him as well “Emily killed her the night they came to take me, I don’t recall it but that’s what I heard one day and this is why I decided to tell Zane everything and leave”.

He stopped breathing, but then inhaled as he nodded.

“Also, I figured who’s the one sending me those hateful letters” you revealed as you scooted closer to Tom, he faced you and doubled his attention on you “who is it?”.

“Canna, my sister” you answered, as you turned to look at the fireplace, and focused on the crinkling noise of the fire eating the wood. “I couldn’t take her with me, I tried escaping once and she told Aisha and I was locked for a week”.

Tom blinked at your words, “locked?”.

You sighed as you quickly explained with a mumble, “it just means when we misbehave, we get tossed in a dark room with a boggart”.

“She snitched on you and is now sending you all those letters? For what?”.

“Tom, she was brainwashed, and she lived most of her life seeking approval from them…” you fixed your posture as you turned to look at him gently, you continued “so the idea of dropping it all to come with me in a big world scared her”.

Tom firmly shook his head and said “she wronged you, there’s no way you’re excusing what she did and what she’s currently doing”.

Tightening your hold on your arms, just to find more comfort—despite your calm environment your head was going insane “I’m not excusing her actions, I’m explaining her side”.

Your words made Tom click his tongue and look away, for many conflicting reasons. One was because you easily did explained your sister’s side even though she snitched on you and is now sending you threats. Tom could never ever do that to you. He tried to tell himself that you were only like that because you didn’t know him very well.

But now you do, now he felt that you two are close once again. Even if he was nervous about your proximity and your shoulder touching his own, and your eyes looking at him with the pleasant fondness that you always had for him when you were younger, only this time it was stronger and more passionate.

“Enough about me, tell me about you”.

“I told you already, not much happened I was treated like a freak at the orphanage”.

“I meant your first years at Hogwarts, what were they like?”.

He leaned back on the sofa, let his gaze fixate on the chandelier over the ceiling, one the looked like the one at the Slytherin common room. Tom didn’t know where to start his story, from the day he received his Hogwarts acceptance letter and was feeling conflicted as it meant Victoria officially broke her promise to him.

The promise she made before she left, telling him she would be back before his acceptance letter would come in. It also meant that all of his expectations about his first day would shatter, he didn’t walk into King’s Cross station with his hand held by your own. Nor did he get sorted into Slytherin while looking at you in the crowd.

He glanced at your Hufflepuff robes, and sarcastically smirked to himself.

Even his expectations about your house was wrong, nothing was going his way. He hoped you would be placed in Slytherin with him, and that you two would take over the Slytherin house together so he can do his perfect plans, with you next to him.

He was going to be the minister of magic; he was planning to remove all the racist mudbloods from their roots and then dominate the rest of the muggles. He was going to make a perfect world for you, and for him. But you disappeared and came back to him with no memories of him or your mother.

The time inside Tom’s head was going slower than in real life, you sensed his unresponsiveness. You debated about what to do, and lastly you came to a final decision. You slowly sneaked your hand on the sofa, then took his hand that was interlocked with his other one on his lap, you brought his right hand on your lap.

His train of depressing thoughts was cut, then he gave you all his attention. You stroked his thumb with your own, very gently as you didn’t have anything to tell him.

He slowly muttered, “I don’t think you understand how much I planned my whole life with you in it, only for you to disappear on me”.

You brought your lips to the corner of your mouth as you looked up at him. There were no words you could say that would compensate the lost time, the running seconds that quickly turned into a year less than a decade. Not a word can be said that would pay back all of it.

When you were younger, you would proudly call him your best friend while holding his hand and protecting him from his fears. But now that you’re older, with years parting the innocence of those moments. Now it felt hard to call him your best friend, because he wasn’t, your best friend was the sensitive blond boy that begged you with tears not to leave Hogwarts, Abraxas.

Even physical touch with Tom felt difficult, but it was much natural from before you gained your memories. So you rest your head on his shoulder, and covered his ear before pushing his head over your own.

You were convinced that you two needed a rest, that’s all.

So you shut your eyes, and so did Tom under the faint lights coming from the chandelier and the fireplace. “Good night, Tom” you whispered.

“Good night, Cheshire kitten” he whispered back as you pretended as if your face didn’t heat up.

In the tight and uncomfortable position next to the boy you had told yourself you hated this morning. You and Tom drifted to your dreams, and for the first time in forever, Tom could finally shut his eyes and sleep very deeply knowing the girl he liked was next to him.

Chapter Text

The next day, the day after sleeping on Tom’s shoulder with his head over yours as you two tightly held hands in the room of requirements. You woke up at dawn, Tom was still sleeping you were shocked to find your bodies laying, and entangled in the sofa. His arm over yours as your arms around his. The way your heart was pounding made you want to leave immediately, but you didn’t.

You couldn’t believe that you slept the whole night next to Tom. For a reason, now that you had your rest and felt reassured that Tom wouldn’t betray you once again. The desire to leave Hogwarts wasn’t as strong, and the idea didn’t please you as much.

If you were to leave, then you might come face to face with Canna. Frankly, you weren’t ready to see her again.

With Tom’s arms bringing you close to him, and very still deep in his sleep and away in his dreams. You stayed there and allowed your eyes to trace his features. Then very confidently, you now covered his face with your palm.

For a reason, you were reminded of the time you had a fight with your mum, and you ran away, Tom despite being severely afraid of the dark followed you all the way. You breathed in, as the pit of your stomach fluttered.

The moonlight shined on the side of his face, just like that night.

Only this time it was so different. Now everything was different.

Your mum is gone, and Tom grew up and so did you. Now Tom greatest fear isn’t the dark, but rather death and its consequences. Now, you weren’t the bubbly little girl you recalled yourself to be.

Now, the years took so much from you and didn’t give you anything back. So with this moment in your heart, you carved it into your mind.

You weren’t going to allow anyone to take anymore from your and Tom. You were going to protect this boy that you and your mum left in his worst nightmare, and let him grow up all on his own. With your heart fluttering once more, you snuggled closer to him as you felt every inch of his body with your breath shaking and your tears making your eyes hot.

“God why do I cry so much?” you asked yourself with a whisper.

You felt Tom’s voice vibrate inside his chest, “you were always a crybaby”.

Startled, you tried to pull back but he only tightened his hold on you. Quickly, you gave up and you calmed down.

“Do you remember when mum took us to the circus and then we had a fight with those twins that took your book?” you asked with a silent giggle.

“I do” he said, he must be smiling as you can hear the smile in his tone. Then he added “you pulled them both from their hair, it was very funny”.

“Do you remember what happened after that?” you urged him to admit that he was also a crybaby, perhaps not to Victoria or everyone else but he was definitely a crybaby to you. This is why you took the responsibility to protect him.

He answered, “I remember it all”.

“See? You used to cry a lot too! To Victoria you weren’t a crybaby, but you cried a lot too”.

“We were children” he excused.

Then it turned silent as you both basked in the pleasant memories. “We still are, Tom” you said.

“Please say my name again”.

Tom felt a little embarrassed about what he asked you to do, but he quickly forgot it when you did it, “Tom” you called, your fingers spreading on his back as he felt comfort seep to the rest of his body from the spot you touched.

“Tom,” you repeated, and you felt him gently sigh. “Did you ever meet your father, or your uncle?”.

“I haven’t, they didn’t look for me so why should I seek them out?”

You only hummed and allowed your eyes to slowly blink, you fought the urge to play with Tom’s soft locks—you won. “But now that you’re here, I will visit them both and give them a piece of my mind.”

Quickly, you broke the embrace and you sat up, Tom followed you as you demanded, “you will visit them? Why? You’re in no need for them anymore, they don’t care for you and Victoria said not to trust them, don’t you remember?”

He intently listened to you, everything you had to say and something in you told you he never listened that attentively to anyone before.

“Just like you said, I’m in no need for them anymore” he said, his hand burning to hold yours. He read your features and expected your opinion about it all. So he added, “I will visit them on Saturday while everyone is at the Hogsmeade spring fair.”

Firmly, you insisted “You won’t go alone, I will go with you.”

Tom looked at the floor for a short while, a hint of a smile on his face, a complicated smile but it was a smile nonetheless. Then he looked up at you, and said “I was never planning to go without you.”

Your face heated, but you pretended his words didn’t tug your heartstrings “do you think the time will allow us to go and come back? How are we to reach Little Hangeleton?”

He gestured for you to calm down, to breath in and breath out. You only sucked in breath and looked away from him, his index and thumb under your jaw surprised you as he swiftly turned your head to look at him.

Tom’s magnificent emerald eyes were gentle, filled with affection that made you look down once again with new acquired shyness, but he made you look at him once again as he said, “Don’t you trust me?”

Once your heartbeat reached unbearable level, and you disliked the way your head was clouded as you couldn’t think properly, and he trapped you in a trance. You pulled your face back as you said, “why can’t you just answer my questions?”

“You answer mine first” he stubbornly stated.

“I asked you first, Tom.”

His eyes rolled to the side, and he backed away from you to the edge of the sofa. You felt a little guilt, but you will not allow Tom Riddle to manipulate you like this, even if he was the little boy you used to protect. Now he is smarter, he is more calculating and more cunning, and handsome. Very handsome it made you nervous.

Tom was a stunning manipulator and the prettiest liar you’ve ever seen. You might have forgiven him for lying to you, but you will never forget it. “I know how to apparate, I can take us” you said.

“I’m not weak, I know how to apparate as well” he returned to his defensive nature.

“I never said you were weak, I just wanted to know if you have a plan.”

His face snapped to look at you, now glaring at you as he spat “I always have a plan, a well-though-out plan, are you saying I’m daft?”

You breathed in and exhaled sharply, standing up to calm your nerves “will you stop twisting my words? I never said any of that, I just wanted us to be ready.”

He stood up as well, towering over you “because you still see me as the weak child from your childhood?”

Shutting your eyes in frustration. You’ve never seen Tom Riddle this sensitive and hung up on your words and your thoughts of him, and honestly it was taking a toll on you. “I admit that I…” you pointed at yourself as you sighed and hoped your next words won’t upset him.

“You what?” he demanded sharply.

Sighing again as you calmly said, “I admit that I see you as the boy from my childhood that needs my protection,” you saw him frown and open his mouth to speak, but you stopped him with an abrupt wave in the air “but it’s not a bad thing!”

His frown deepened, “I don’t require your protection anymore, I’m stronger than you.”

You only snorted as you looked to the side, you can’t believe him. Was he truly upset just because he wanted to be better than you at something? “Tom, I’m not weak.”

“I never said you were weak.”

Touché. You thought.

“But you’re not stronger than me, you have no clue about the amount of people I tortured.” You argued.

“(Y/N),” he gently called your name and stepped closer to your body. He looked down at you as he said, “did it hurt your pride to know that I’m stronger than you now?”

You scoffed, and forced a distance between the two of you “assume what you want, because our reality is different. I’m no weakling even if you want me to be.”

Tom bit his lower lip in contained frustration. You failed to see that he was strong now, and how bad he wanted to be the one to offer you protection now. But like you said, you were no weakling even if you cried a lot and your world shattered many times. You were powerful, and in no need of protection and coddling.

He looked down as he smiled bitterly. Then it fell to silence, for a long time. Until the moonlight was streaked with lilac, and the sunlight seeped into the room of requirements. “Class is starting soon” you said, as you struggled to pull your legs towards the exit.

Frankly, you didn’t want to leave Tom’s presence. He made you feel safe and reminded you of the good memories of the past. He also reminded you of your mother.

Hogwarts during the sunrise brought comfort to your heart. You felt his stare, as he took your hand and guided you towards the Hufflepuff dormitory. Your face was burning, and you tried to do everything in your power to calm yourself down. “Are we going to tell anyone, about regaining my memories?” you asked him, not wanting to look at him as he was closely gazing at you.

He pulled you close from your hand, stopped walking as he leaned closer to your ear. His hot breath fanned your ear and your neck, it felt ticklish and made your heart pound roughly. It felt like forever until he whispered, “a secret with more than two people is not a secret, we must tell no one. If Dumbledore knew he would have our heads.”

You stepped away first, as your face heated and you continued your pace, you didn’t trust yourself to form a full sentence, so you nodded and hummed. Then he continued his walk next to you. No more words were exchanged between the two of you, until you reached your dormitory. He bid you a goodbye and you only waved your hand before disappearing inside.

As for the next few days, they were completely strange.

Ever since regaining your memories back, each breath you took, each step you took, each action you made—it made you feel that this body truly belonged to you. The space you occupied, the breathes you took from this world, you were unapologetic for it all and it was a very good feeling.

Although the rest of the day you continued an awkward day with your friends, that didn’t bother to mask their feelings about your plans of departing Hogwarts.

When you resumed speaking to your friends, they did not shun you but rather they started to give you more reasons to stay in Hogwarts. You attended all your classes, after your classes you spent the rest of the time with your friends in the Slytherin common room. Mostly peering at Tom whenever the group would break into laughter, in hopes you would find him laughing as well or even smiling.

It was a Friday night when you accidentally slept on the Slytherin common room, next to Abraxas and Walburga. It started with your three on the floor, talking endlessly about Walburga’s favorite book that Abraxas decided to read.

“I was so upset when she gave up her powers to save the pirate” Walburga complained, crossing her arms over her chest and peering at the fireplace. “A pirate and a siren falling in love, it was likely to happen” you said shrugging your shoulders, “I don’t like that she gave up her powers to save the pirate too, she was very powerful” you added.

“Love conquers all, even if she lives without her powers she would- Ah!” he stopped to scream as Nancy appeared form nowhere like a ghost. The girl giggled as she walked closer to where you were all sitting, “I didn’t mean to scare you but the look on your face was priceless”

“I don’t blame him. Nancy you walk very quietly, you startled me as well” you commented as the girl plopped on the sofa as she stared down at the rest of you sitting on the floor. “Alright then, Orion and Tom are coming too, you know how quiet those two walk” she warned.

So when the two boys appeared, your core suddenly felt full and your tummy was fluttering as you glanced at Tom, he sat on the armchair facing your lot. “What usually happens at the spring fair, Abraxas?” you asked, a little unaware of your surroundings as you felt very safe.

“There are many competitions you win prizes, obviously, there are going to be different merchants from all around the world-“ the blond was interrupted by Walburga that clapped her hands as she interjected “last year I bought a pocket sneakoscope from an Egyptian merchant!”

Orion said “but she got rid of it because it keeps on whistling around the mudbloods.”

They laughed, then continued their conversations about what to expect in tomorrow’s fair, you all played short games. You felt very safe, as you laid your head on Abraxas’ shoulder. Before you could know it your dreams took you away and when you woke up, Abraxas, Walburga, Nancy and Orion were sat on the same places they were in. Only they were sleeping.

But Tom was nowhere to be found.

On Saturday’s morning, you readied yourself in front of the mirror, and told yourself that meeting Tom’s father and his uncle shouldn’t be so bad. You tucked your wand in your pocket in a place you can quickly take it out and put it back. You glanced at your roommates who were running around the room as they were getting ready for the spring fair.

With a wide smile on your face, you braced yourself and walked towards the gates. Just as you reached your destination, you inhaled sharply at the horrifying number of students. It was only understandable as today was the spring fair, everyone wanted to go.

It was too crowded, and you didn’t want to walk in the middle of the crowd to search for your friends. So you patiently waited by the gates, playing with your fingers and looking out for your friends’ faces. But you quickly gave up, just before you could drown into your thoughts about the day, Malcolm appeared.

“Good morning! Why are you by yourself?”.

You shared his smile, “I was looking for my friends, but gave up because of the crowd”

“Is your father coming to the fair?” he asked. You frowned with confusion, but he only laughed as she explained “usually during the spring fair parents go to Hogsmeade so they get a chance to see their children.”

You hummed as you nodded and listened to him, “anyways my parents aren’t coming, but the Potters never miss a spring fair,” he inhaled a breath then changed the topic when he noticed your disinterest, “I noticed you finally managed to finish the book I gifted you for Christmas, how was it?”

He seemed bashful, a little nervous about your opinion so you said, “it was a good book, you knew my tastes very well.”

He punched the air, and his smile turned very wide as his face blushed. Until it dawned on you, Malcolm McGonagall had a crush on you. It would explain everything, after your falling with Elizabeth and Eileen he still fought to become closer to you.

Either by awkward conversations like this one, or by sincere smiles when you catch his gaze on you, or by shy letters during holidays. Malcolm McGonagall liked you. Your face heated up, as you pretended to listen to him and faked your laughter whenever he would laugh.

He was good-looking, his eyes were brown and very kind, his hair was the same color, straight and parted in the middle. You tilted your head to take more of Malcolm’s appearance, only you were startled when your arm was pulled and your whole body followed your arm.

Tom Riddle stood behind you, his hand clutched on your arm as he glowered at Malcolm.

Malcolm smile dropped, he firmly said “Riddle.”

Tom stayed silent, his glare on Malcolm changed when his eyes dropped to meet yours. His sharp gaze invaded your soul, and you felt guilty for no reason. “What are you doing here? I was looking for you.” he told you.

“And you just found me” you simply said.

Before Tom can pull you away from Malcolm, you waved at the boy and allowed Tom to pull you behind the crowd moving to Hogsmeade. “Why is it you always associate yourself with such lowly people?” he hissed in your ear.

You snatched your arm from his clutch as you commented, “I associate myself with you, does that mean you’re a lowly person?”

He gave you one harsh look, “Careful.” Then the two of you followed the parade of the excited students wearing their bright dresses. “Tom why do you hate Malcolm so much?” You poured all your attention on your path.

“I don’t have the time to form opinions about a plain boy like him, I’m worried about you being around him as his father is a muggle.”

You got near him, held his arm as you whispered “Tom, just few months ago you told me to seduce him so I can break into the Gryffindor common room to steal the invisibility cloak, what changed now?”

“That was different.” You didn’t feel like teasing him anymore, so you stayed quiet and focused on the wind sounds and the murmurs from the crowd around you all immersed in their own conversation. All until reaching Hogsmeade.

The sound of the wind was switched by the sound of drums and the sound of laughter. The roads in Hogsmeade were now crowding with vendors and people. It was so crowded that you can’t see where you were stepping.

You never thought that you would lose Tom when he was tall and easily spotted, so you only planted your eyes on him and followed him. Then he stopped. So, you stopped. The crowd around you resumed to flood on both of your sides. You struggled to hold your footing, but you managed.

Tom turned his head to the side, his eyes caught your figure before he frowned with slight irritation. He fought the direction of the crowd, but reached you nonetheless and held your hand. Fingers interlocked, and warmth spreading to your hand.

Next, he pulled you closer to him, his hand was pressing your hand tightly to his chest. And you blindly followed him. He snaked his ways between the houses, in the places where the crowd lessened. Till you finally reached the last house that was fronting the forest.

Right before you two can apparate to Little Hangleton, you two froze as you heard a stick breaking from the forest. Then an old woman with an old man walked out of the forest. “Henry, I told you there won’t be camellias at Hogsmeade!”

You weren’t startled by them as much as you were surprised to see Elizabeth Potter walking out of the forest too, angrily swatting the mosquitos away. Then her gaze caught yours, equally surprised as she said your name “(Y/N)!”.

The old couple turned to look at you with smiles on their faces, they took large strides to you. “You must be (Y/N), our dear Elizabeth best friend!”

Your lips parted in shock, you couldn’t form a sound with surprise and you can only see Elizabeth shock too. Her face turned scarlet as she struggled to pull her mother’s hands away from your face. “Oh I really hoped you would come to the wedding but alas, Elizabeth informed me you were bedridden but I see you’re completely fine now!”

You wanted to scoff. But you held it back. Before Elizabeth can throw useless excuses and lies to her parents, Tom pulled you away from Mrs. Potter hands, he politely said “we’re very busy right now.”

Mrs. Potter pleasantly clapped her hands and waved excitedly as if she was a teenager rather than an old woman with grey hair. “Oh I bet you two lovers were snogging! Alright Alright! This lot will leave immediately!”

“You two are dating?” Elizbeth whispered with evident shock.

“You didn’t know? Come on Elizabeth, that is your best friend you should know the signs even if she doesn’t tell you!” Mrs. Potter gently berated before she pulled her husband that politely nodded his head in acknowledgement for you.

Now it was only you, Tom, and Elizabeth.

The blonde held her left arm awkwardly, “I still haven’t told them, I’m sorry.”

“You should be.” Tom said, looking down at her from over his nose, in a very demeaning manner that made Elizabeth grimace, then she blinked and turned to face you “how have you been?”

Before an argument could start, you stepped between them and brought Elizabeth from her arm away from Tom. “I have been doing well, how have you been?”

“Alright” Elizabeth answered, you let her go before she could use your politeness as an excuse for a longer conversation. You were running out of time. “I will see you later” you said, and walked back to Tom.

She nodded, offered a closed lip smile then walked away. You and Tom waited till long moments passed in case she came back. Once the moments turned into minutes, Tom stretched his hand to you, and you abruptly took it. You decided to let him be the one to apparate you both, hoping it will feed his ego and he won’t take your words sensitively.

Then everything became tighter, you were pressed from different directions until it came to a stop.

You expected to be in a village, or a forest. But you were inside a flat. It was dark as the sunlight coming from the grubby windows wasn’t bright, but it was enough for you to realize where you two were.

Your childhood flat. You faced Tom, “why are we here?”.

He didn’t speak, he carefully walked as he avoided the wood floorings that would squeak. As he walked over them many times, meanwhile, you forgot the noisy wood and managed to walk on all of them with your face heating up.

Then he reached the bedroom, specifically the spot that had your futons when you were younger “I used to come here to red the books my mother left me,” then he lifted the wooden flooring, you didn’t recognize it, “and store some things that I knew the matron would question about. You see, we weren’t given privacy.”

He finally finished and kneeled by the new hiding spot, you peered at it and found it to be small, but it was filled to the prim with things. You recognized the books his mother left him, he read them over and over again till the pages were all worn out.

“I remember those” you said, kneeling as well and picking up a giant dusty book. It was nostalgic to you. Those books meant so much to Tom, and you recall him reading them for you. Although now that you can read and understand what the books were conveying. It didn’t hold as much meaning like when Tom would read them to you, huddled next to him on the futons and covered by a thick blanket with a candle when the electricity cut off.

“Strangely, it isn’t as enjoyable as they were when you read them to me” you told Tom, as you gave up on flicking the dusty pages, you returned the book to its place as you turned to face him—he was already gazing at you. “Is that so?”

“Yeah, or maybe I just truly enjoyed your company” you said, “you were my best friend after all.”

“Were? What about now?”

“It goes without a saying that my best friend is Abraxas” you answered as you stood up and clapped your hands to rid them from the dust. “That’s hurtful.”

You shrugged your shoulders, “you will get over it” as you surveyed the flat. It drastically changed; the furniture was there but was covered with white sheets that collected dust. Although every spot you turned to look at held so many memories, either happy ones that made you smile sadly or sad ones that made you sigh at your childishness.

Once you grew too uncomfortable, you faced Tom and asked “got what you needed? I want to leave.”

Then he lifted two cloaks, the same ones you had when you two were younger. “Yes.” he affirmed, “We might get recognized” he shortly explained, then handed you one as he waited for you to change the sizing, as his wand was a British wand and could be traceable by the ministry of magic.

You smiled, seeing your white cloak you got for your birthday the gathered dust on the fabric made it seem grey. You were reminded of the time you cried to your mother so you can have a cloak when you saw Merope’s old cloak in the closet. Your mother couldn’t bring herself up to do anything with Merope’s clothes.

With a swish of your wand, you changed the sizing of Tom’s cloak first then yours. Tapped it once again so it would be clean, as the dust on it disappeared the colors regained their vibrancy. You had a part of the same happiness you had when you first got it.

As you wore it quickly, you watched Tom wear his. It was black, he wanted it to be the same color as his mother’s cloak.

It fit him well, the fabric swished very elegantly as he fixed the hood over his head. You didn’t know if he noticed your looks, but he gently pulled you from the fabric of your cloak and then fixed your own hood over your head as he whispered a simple, “don’t wanna get you recognized.”

When he stopped fixing it for you, his eyes caught yours in an intense daze. His world was revolving around, and nothing mattered anymore but you and your look that was regaining it’s shimmers. The way the corner of your lips almost lifted in a hint of a smile, it made Tom want to kiss you right then and there.

It was getting harder to control himself. He wanted to kiss you so bad, and tell you about how much you meant to him, and seeing you earlier with Malcolm filled him with green jealousy. He wanted to tell you more and more without any boundaries or fear that you might not share those feelings back.

You made Tom feel conflicted. Sometimes when you two share such looks, he is convinced you feel the same way about him. Although, just like now, you looked away and if he wasn’t predicting it to happen, he would’ve been even more disappointed.

He knew you didn’t share his feelings. It vexed him.

“So? Little Hangleton now?” you said, hoping to ease the tension.

Clearly, it didn’t work. Not with the way that Tom inhaled angrily and shut his eyes. You didn’t wait for him to hold your hand, as you decided to be the one to apparate to Little Hangleton, you clutched his arm and apparated.

“Emily!” the girl watched you run towards her, your arms engulfing her midsection and bringing her in a warm hug. As if you didn’t watch her kill your mother just few nights before, your hug made her feel hollow and incomplete, like a walking hypocrite.

The guilt almost made her open her lips and tell you about the dark network you’re currently in, that the people you were told would be your new family were nothing but killers. Emily killed man people too, and she didn’t think about it twice before chanting a forbidden curse.

Only this time killing your mother, a woman she knew for years, a woman she laughed and smiled with. A woman she knew too well, it made even breathing difficult for her.

“Emily, are you crying?” your innocent voice asked, without realizing it, Emily started crying.

“Oh? I’m just tired, you know how I tear up when I yawn, right?” Emily lied, forcing a smile as her palm brushed your hair. “Why didn’t you tell me I had a sister? It’s so good having a sister!” you said, pointing at Canna in the corner of the room, neatly folding her blankets over her bed.

“Now that (Y/N) is here, how are we going to divide the chores? Will she get to kill colonizers too?” Canna casually asked, sitting on the bed she made with her comb and hair oil next to her to begin styling her hair.

Only Canna didn’t realize the situation she created, your body froze up upon hearing Canna’s words. “Killing? What is she saying, Emily?”

Emily felt a lump in her throat, the way your eyes widened with cluelessness and innocence made her feel like her world was closing up on her. All of a sudden, she lost the ability to speak. “You know, ending their lives because they’re stealing our lands and resources. They killed our father, it’s only fair we kill them too.” Canna explained, reciting the words Aisha had been drilling in Canna’s head for years now.

Unable to breathe, Emily turned around only to find her mother standing behind her. Horror filled Emily’s body, she didn’t move as she and her mother shared a certain look. Emily knew that she earned herself an hour in the isolation closet with two boggarts.

Although that look was broken when Aisha looked at you, forced a sad smile in her lips as she also began convincing you that it was actually a lie that your mother left you here. It was because colonizers also killed your mother, and it was Aisha that saved your life.

Little Hangleton wasn’t like what you expected it to be—little. Which made you want to snicker as it was a description and an expectation you held on ever since your mother told you and Tom about Little Hangleton.

It was a big plot of land with houses scattered around it and separated with some trees that were cut down. Up the hill you can see a large manor, and it wasn’t difficult to pinpoint it belonged to the Riddles. Although what stood up to you the most was the sound of loud drums vibrating inside your body, the sound of laughter.

Simply the same voices you heard in Hogsmeade. The sound of a festival.

“There’s no way muggles are celebrating in the middle of a world war” you said, tugging on your cloak to cover your face better from the celebrating muggles. “I feel quite conflicted, on one hand yes, the muggle war is completely ridiculous and shouldn’t be taken seriously,” Tom said, also hiding his face better with his cloak. “On the other hand, are they very oblivious to their surroundings that they’re celebrating in the middle of a war?”

Then he picked up his pace and continued walking behind the trees, that extended to the forest that separated the Riddles from the village, and the Gaunts. You suggested “we have to find a way to end their festival.”

“That’s right, my father will be there to boast about his useless achievements for sure, but I would like to speak to my uncle first.” Tom told you, then turned to you and offered you his hand so you can climb over a large rock. “You don’t mind meeting my uncle first, do you?” he asked. You looked at his hand before you gently clasped your hand on his, and stared at him as he helped you walk over the obstacle.

You answered, “I don’t mind.”

“Perfect.” He said, frowning when you quickly took your hand off his hold.

You smiled, remembering something your mother said years ago about Tom’s father. “Do you remember when Victoria said your father was very handsome?” you asked, breaking a twig with your steps.

Tom exhaled tiredly, “I believe my father was completely average looking.”

“Then how did you become so handsome if he was average looking?” you said, then dreaded the fact you vocally admitted that you thought Tom was stunningly breath-taking. But you relaxed when you were reminded that he knew about this already, everyone at the school was head over heels for him.

Although your heart beat quickened when Tom turned to look at you, his ethereal emerald gaze on you as he smirked and you despised his next words. “You think I’m handsome?”

“Shut it.” You said, hastening your pace.

“(Y/N) you’re going the wrong way” he said, chuckling and you rolled your eyes as your face heated up with embarrassment. You retraced your steps back to him, and finally reached him, “I’m quite baffled as you had called me ugly numerous times” he said.

Your face snapped to look up at him, “I may have called you a liar or an idiot, but I have never called you ugly!”

“So you admit that you think I’m handsome?” he teased, smirking in that way that made your insides flutter and made your face fire up with humiliation. “Why are you doing this to me?” you meekly said, your shoulders dropping.

Tom chuckled, and shook his head “I was joking.”

Still petty, you turned to where you saw a cottage. You recognized the spell around it as it rebelled muggles, there was a snake stapled to the door and with your nerves on fire you walked towards the cottage.

Before you can step any much closer, Tom stretched his arm to stop you. “What?” you asked.

He didn’t speak, and only answered you by leaning closer to you and holding your hand; rather tightly in his own. Looking up at him, you noticed the concern in his eyes, so you held his hand back, tightly as well—it caught him by surprise when he looked down at you.

You mean so much to Tom Riddle, that’s what his look told you.

With your hands held securely, and brave steps towards the Gaunts household; you felt safe, and he felt safe.

The dead stabled snake on the door wiggled when it sensed magical presence, and it hissed to Tom then Tom spoke back to it in parseltongue. Then very slowly, the door squeaked open. As you two walked inside, you were surrounded with darkness and grimness. You felt the wet muddy dust inside your bones due to the disgust.

Tom pressed his hold on your hand to warn you about something, you immediately looked at where he was looking.

It was an old man, with grey hairs infiltrating his black hair strands, his eyes were red and were looking opposite ways. His eyes were a green shade too, and it didn’t take much in your power to figure out that this was Tom’s uncle; Morfin Gaunt.

“Hello, uncle.” Tom said. You sensed his subtle sarcasm and his genuine disgust form this dirty household. He was disappointed that his mother’s family, an ancient family that were the direct descendants of Salazar Slytherin. How could they end up like this? In this small and filled with debris household.

“You must be that disgrace’s child.” The old man calmly said, his voice was gruff and hoarse.

Due to his eyes looking different directions, you didn’t know whether he was looking at you or at Tom—but then he tilted his head to your side, and it made your nervous. You secretly fisted your wand under your cloak.

“Who’s she?”

Tom swiftly pulled your body behind him, “none of your business.”

“You break into my home, bring an outsider and you have the guts to tell me it’s none of my business?” Morfin asked, standing up with difficulty. “I’m his friend.” You answered

Tom eyebrows irked as he glared at you shortly, then returned his eyes to Morfin.

“What do you want from me? Why are you here?” Morfin asked, downing firewhiskey straight from it’s bottle.

Tom pointed at the ring Morfin was wearing, “that ring.”

Morfin lowered the firewhiskey bottle, as he carefully watched Tom. “Give it to me” Tom demanded.

You almost gasped and couldn’t believe that you were risking your life for a ring. So, you tugged Tom’s hand that tugged yours back so you can calm down.

“This is a family heirloom, you’re not family.” Morfin responded.

“It rightfully belonged to my mother; you took it from her.”

“It’s mine!” Morfin voice bellowed inside the cottage, and you flinched as you felt it inside your body, you tugged your wand out from its place but still hidden by your cloak.

Morfin tossed the glass bottle on the wooden floor, it shattered then he tapped his body for something.

Quickly, you stepped in front of Tom’s body and pointed your wand at Morfin. “Drop it” you said when he pointed his wand at Tom.

“I’m not scared from a little girl” Morfin said.

“You should be.” You insisted.

It went quiet for long moments as your wands pointed at each other. You demanded “Give him the ring.”

“Over my dead body,” Morfin said, before he firmly hexed “Crucio!”

Tom eyes widened as he felt his blood freeze up at the curse Morfin directed to you, his world felt like it stopped. He slowly moved his head to look at you, expecting to see you writhing on the dirty floor with pain, expecting that the white cloak you had on would be dirtied by the floor—like an injured Dove that can no longer fly.

But you were standing in front of him, the spell you casted protected you both in a defense bubble.

“Not bad, little girl” Morfin said, chuckling evilly.

You responded back by swishing your wand and erasing the defense bubble, right before Morfin can cast any spell you shouted “expelliarmus!” as he was about to retrieve it, you hexed him once again with a stun and then hexed him again so robes swirled around him tightly.

You sighed and took large strides to Morfin that was tied securely to the floor. All while Tom was watching with a shocked expression on his face. You kneeled by Morfin that was screaming, “will you stop screaming?” you hissed as you shook your wand and his mouth disappeared.

Not a word was heard from him, but you can tell from his crazed eyes that he was screaming inside as you took off his ring from his finger.

“Here’s your ring” you told Tom, as you placed the ring in his palm. Then you turned to look around the dirty home, you were reminded of the stories your mother told you of Merope getting abused by her father and her brother.

Angrily, you ran to the tied man on the floor and landed a harsh kick on his face. Still, you weren’t satisfied. Not when you imagined Merope’s bloodied face and her body with purple and green hues. You punched Morfin and spat, “that’s for Merope.”

You pointed at Tom behind you, “and if you even think about hurting one hair on Tom’s head, I will kill you.” You kicked his head once again.

“Are we done here?” you asked Tom.

Tom stunned expression was replaced with silent anger, he took Morfin’s wand from the floor then turned around and exited the cottage first, so you followed him.

You sensed Tom’s anger, and you didn’t understand why so you remained silent. This time, he walked in front of you, didn’t hold your hand or help you over obstacles, let alone even look at you.

So you gave up and asked “what’s up with you?”

He didn’t speak, only continued his pace. “I said what the hell is up with you. Did I do something wrong?” you demanded, walking in front of him and stretching your arms so he stops. He only brushed your arm.

You pulled him from his cloak and hissed, “answer me!”

His stare was intense, enraged.

“I didn’t need your help.”

“Really? What were you going to do when he lands that Crucio hex on you? Beg him to let you go?” you sarcastically said as you scoffed. “You’re so stupid sometimes, Tom” you said as you continued your walking.

“I know it hurts your pride that I can protect us both, but you have to understand that if I didn’t intervene, he would’ve killed us.”

“You can’t go around protecting me all the time, you’re making me seem like I’m weak!” he shouted, with his shout some of the bords on their branches flew away.

“You are weak right now! You can’t even use your wand without the ministry all up your arse!” you shouted back.

You would’ve continued yelling some sense into him, if only he didn’t lift his wand to your face. You watched him with a lifted eyebrow then said, “what? you’re going to kill me? Splendid.”

Immediately, he dropped his hand away, you glared at him as he stumbled over his words to form an apology, “I didn’t mean it-“

“Yeah you did, that’s why you pointed it at me.” you interrupted him, walking past him towards the large manor.

“I was just so angry that you keep on protecting me, I didn’t mean it.”

“Are you truly on your right mind? You pointed your wand at me, just because I protected you?” you scoffed with exhaustion, his eyes were pleading you to drop it all, but you weren’t planning to. At least after visiting the Riddles manor.

You rolled your eyes at him, then continued approaching the manor as he followed you, “do you forgive me?”

“Obviously not, you pointed your wand at me, Tom. But I will not talk to you about it right now, not here, not when I know we’re about to kill your father.” You refused as the Riddles household finally met your eyes. “How did you know that?” he asked. You reached the manor. It was large, surrounded by metal fences and a large metal gate that you melted with your wand and walked towards the door.

“I’m not stupid, Tom, it’s very easy to figure out your hatred towards your father would lead to you killing him.” you whispered, shooting him an individual short glare.

“If you don’t agree with me killing him, then why are you here?” Tom hissed back.

You rolled your eyes once you reached the door, then you grumbled an answer “Because I care about you.” Before Tom can start another argument, you knocked on the door and he pulled you from your wrist to stand behind him.

Right. Racist muggles.

The door opened, by a very old woman that gasped once she saw Tom. Then she peeked at you, “my goodness, Tommy! Tommy my darling please come here and look at this!” she shouted, her voice was a little weak. Tom took a step to the front, she took a step back.

They repeated this until Tom was fully inside their home. “You’re that witch son, isn’t that right?” she timidly asked, hiding behind the stunning wooden table. From her stance and her firm hold on the table you knew she was planning to throw it on Tom’s direction if he stepped any closer.

“What is it mother?”

Who you could only assume was “Tommy” appeared. It was Tom’s father. They looked awfully similar, only difference was that Tom had dark green eyes, and his features were much sharper than Tommy that had brown eyes and softer features only with wrinkles to prove his age.

“It’s that witch’s son.” Tommy said instead when his eyes fell on Tom.

Quietly, Tom took out his uncle’s wand only the old woman and Tommy pushed the wooden table. Before you can react, Tom stopped the table from hitting you and levitated it so it can hit the furthest wall.

“I’m here to kill you.” Tom calmly declared.

The old woman and Tommy kept screaming, but with two quick curses and a green flash. It stopped. It was dead silent, and if a needle was dropped in the carpeted flooring, you reckon you can hear it. “The aurors will be here soon, we have to go.” Tom said, facing you.

Then he harshly held your wrist, and apparated towards the Gaunts cottage.

Only this time you didn’t enter inside the cottage with him, but you heard him put his uncle under the Imperius curse. When he exited, you looked at his eyes with one glare as you said, “I’m going to Hogwarts.”

Then you apparated first. As if you weren’t there from the first place, you were gone.

Although it all ended when you reached Hogsmeade. The happy hustle and bustle ended as you reached Hogsmeade. All you heard was screams of pain, and everything around you was enveloped with a thick layer of smoke.

All you saw was cloaked figures, running around and hexing people that were screaming. A roar came from the sky, you looked at it to find a smoke skull in it. The blue sky you saw earlier was different. It was only darkness.

A particular high pitched pained scream was near you, and you found Jean writhing on the floor as a cloaked figure was over her. Curving something on her wrist. You took out your wand and ran to them.

Jean was a bully, you hated her and you hated everything about her. Sometimes you wished she would die. She curved the word: Nigger. On your skin once, those thoughts made you stop in your tracks. Her screams stopped, and you realized she passed out from the pain.

Before you can regulate your thoughts, the cloaked figure approached you pointed your wand at the person as you gulped, “stay away!” you shouted.

“(Y/N),” the figure called.

Your heart dropped when the person pulled their dark hood away from their head and their face. “It’s me. Abraxas” the person called. Your lips were frozen, from the corner of your eyes you saw Tom disapparate just next to you.

“What is going on?” you asked, pointing as Abraxas and Tom as you tried to connect everything that was happening. “We’re doing it for you,” Abraxas said compassionately. Then you looked at Tom, as you demanded “is that what you meant by deciding if I should stay or leave after the spring fair? By terrorizing muggles? And mud-bloods?”

“We only hexed the white ones,” Abraxas shrugged his shoulders then he slipped the cloak over his head quickly when he heard footsteps. You turned to look at Tom as you rolled your eyes. He stepped closer to you, as he apologized “I’m sorry about pointing my wand at you, and about many things, really.”

You felt conflicted about it. You wanted to forgive him and tell him that you will forgive and forget. But you knew that wasn’t true. You weren’t the type to forget, and you were still feeling angry that he even thought about pointing his wand at you, and that he refused your help and minimized your power and ability. Also, him raising his wand on you didn’t sit well with you, who knows if he intended to hurt you?

“(Y/N)!”

Turning to look at Malcolm, that had smoke covering his face. You pretended to ignore Tom as Malcolm held you in his arms. “I was worried about you! Where were you? Are you all right?” Malcolm asked, turning your body side to side to check for any bruises.

“And you found me, I’m okay.” You reassured Malcolm and allowed him to hold your hand. “Riddle. You’re here.” Malcolm said once noticing Tom standing by the darkness of the shadows and smoke.

“Wherever (Y/N) is, I’m always there.” Tom stated, stepping closer to you and seizing your other arm.

Your eyebrow irked up, “let me go.” You demanded, and snatched your arm away from Tom. “Let’s go, Malcolm.” You said, aware of the dangerous game you were playing at. Walking away with a person Tom didn’t approve of.

Tom felt his heart shake, it prickled up with fire, under his enraged gaze, filled with horrid and atrocious jealousy he watched Malcolm pull you away, and you willingly allowing him drag you. He clutched his fist so hard, his nails indented on his palm, wounded the skin, and made it bleed.

Chapter Text

Fifteen

Tom wished to say that his days felt easier after the attack on Hogsmeade and after killing his father. But his heart felt heavy, and burdened, because of your blaming looks at him. He wished it was only the looks because he can live with that as long as you were next to him.

Except you weren’t, after leaving with Malcolm after the attack on Hogsmeade, you never approached Tom or allowed him to pull you away. You were not only angry at him, but you were also furious. You had every right to feel that way.

Ever since visiting Little Hangleton, and Tom raising his wand at you and insisting that you were weak. You were still angry at Tom, he apologized once but you didn’t want to forgive him you were far too enraged to simply forgive him like that. You cared about him deeply, but Tom just keeps on wronging you.

He lied to you, he undermines your power, he pointed his wand at you and fully on intending to hurt you. It wasn’t easy to forgive him. In the past couple of weeks after the attack on Hogsmeade and visiting Little Hangleton, you spent your days glaring at Tom whenever you spotted him and the rest of them with your friends and Malcolm.

Malcolm. Just the thought of that boy sent Tom to spirals of hate.

In your eyes Malcolm was nice, even if he was persistent about forcing a conversation with you and spending time with you. You never approached him first, if he saw you in the library then he would leave his friends and come sit next to you under the excuse of studying with you. If he saw you in the Quidditch pitch watching your friends play an impromptu Quidditch match, he would run up the tall stairs to come and talk to you.

That was why Tom couldn’t be happier when the term ended and performing the O.W.Ls. Even if he knew that this meant the start of a dangerous mission, which was seeking out Grindelwald, Tom couldn’t care less as long as you were only focusing on him without that persistent prick.

“Headmaster Dippet said it must be an outsider attack, possibly from Grindelwald.” Walburga calmly stated her attention on underlining certain lines from her book. You were all sat inside your usual compartment in the Hogwarts Express.

It was the end of the term for many students, but it also meant the start of a treacherous mission for you and Tom.

“Meanwhile Dumbledore thinks it’s us, he cornered me this morning demanding to know where I was when it happened,” Nancy said, you crossed your legs as your bones lightly cracked in this tight compartment, you watched Abraxas’s soft hair delicately shake with the movement of the train, “he’s suspecting me as well.” You softly said.

Before they can all argue and complain about Dumbledore, you quickly added “but thank goodness Malcolm took Elizabeth to Dumbledore and told him that they both saw me at the fair, getting attacked too.”

“But we didn’t attack you” Abraxas commented, allowing your hand to caress his long locks. “Whatever it was, I’m just glad he doesn’t suspect (Y/N), if it’s us then we can deal with it. I mean my parents will not allow him to kick me out of the school.” Walburga said with a smile, leaning closer to you and resting her head on your shoulder.

“I think my parents would be happy if I told them we did the attack, they’ve been sending me letters about it nonstop and expressing their gratitude to whoever put the mudbloods in their respectable places.” Orion said, air quoting the last words.

Nancy hissed, snatching Orion’s sketchbook from between his hands “You should tell them it isn’t about any mudbloods, only the white atrocious ones the ones that bullied me and (Y/N).”

Orion sighed with irritation, snatched it from her and said, “I did tell them!” with one last glare at Nancy, he picked up his pencil and continued drawing the scenery in front of him. You, Abraxas, and Walburga.

Now it was Abraxas’ turn to steal the sketchbook, Orion groaned with frustration as Abraxas admired the Orion’s art. “Wow, is that me?” you asked, pointing at the smiling face on the page. It felt nice seeing yourself through your friends’ point of view.

To Orion, you were a smiling bright face. “Wait, you should look at the other pages, I think he colored some of them.” Walburga told you with a grin. “There are more?” you asked with a whisper, flipping the previous pages of the sketchbook.

The previous one was a lightly colored drawing of your group, that night in the Slytherin common room. With Abraxas’ head on your lap, laughing and Walburga’s arm around your shoulder yawning, Nancy on the floor next to Orion cross legged and smirking. Finally, Tom on the armchair looking down at you with a smile on his face.

“Look at me, I swear it’s like he always draws me looking ugly!” Walburga shouted angrily, pointed at her face in the sketch. “You’re always ugly” Orion said shrugging his shoulders, looking at you and slightly anticipating your reaction.

Slowly, you flipped the page it was a picture of the great hall, crowded and bustling with life. The one before was of the platform nine and three quarters, the day you and Nancy encountered the racist patrol officer. The sketch only consisted of Tom’s back walking towards the train.

Same as the ones before. Most of them consisted of Tom. Abraxas sighed, took the sketch book from your hands as he said, “let me show you the one he drew of you,” Abraxas said, then flipped to the early pages of the book.

Here it was, a colored drawing of your laughing face with your eyes tight as you were laughing so hard and looking to your left side, which was Abraxas’ designated seat. Your hair was braided into tight braids with yellow beads snug inside them, the beads were a gift from Walburga, as the sun rays reflected on your dark skin.

You looked beautiful. You felt beautiful.

“Woah, Orion I’m speechless you’re so talented and the way you capture everything makes it surreally stunning!” you commented, unassumingly making Orion sigh in relief and grin with pride. He took his sketchbook back and said, “I know.”

Abraxas dropped his head on your shoulder, as he complained “we studied too much for the O.W.Ls and they will send the results at the end of the holiday! They must be sadists!”

“Malcolm said it’s better they send it at the end of the holiday, so we can have fun and don’t think too much about it.” You commented, stretching your arms.

Tom sucked his breath with irritation and tried to refocus on the lines in his book.

“Malcolm this and Malcolm that, you talk about him all the time!” Nancy said with a roll of her eyes, and rested her legs on your lap, forcing you to be tightly sandwiched between Abraxas and Walburga. “But really, what’s with you and that plain boy?” Orion urged.

“Do you guys see me as a pillow or something?” you lightly protested and hoped they would drop the conversation, as you pointed at all the limps and heads resting over your body.

Because Tom wasn’t around to shun Malcolm away from you, Malcolm very quickly started to be a consistent part of your day. Even if you didn’t have strong feelings about him.

Walburga poked your tummy, making you giggle and urging you to answer the question: what’s between you and Malcolm?

“A friend? I don’t know.”

Nancy loudly said, “that boy is smitten with you, and he follows you everywhere. Remember when he raced up the tall stairs in the quidditch boxes then raced back down when he didn’t find you there then- “

“Okay I get it, stop it.” You interrupted Nancy, feeling your face heat up when you recalled the rest of the encounter. After rushing down the tall stairs in the Quidditch boxes, he ran all the way down the quidditch pitch when he saw you there, shouting your name and running out of breath when he reached you. The incident was a moment of comedy your friends swore to never let it die.

“So? What is he?” Orion urged, you parted your lips to answer, although stopped when your eyes met Tom. The eye contact lasted for quarters of a second before he hastily stood up, “you and your ridiculous conversations, I’m leaving.”

“Where are you going?” Abraxas quietly asked, but the dark-haired boy shot him a short intense stare, then shut the compartment door very harshly.

“Tom is meaner than the ordinary these past weeks.” Walburga said what everybody was thinking. “I think he must be stressed about the O.W.Ls results,” was Nancy’s assumption.

“I’m telling you the person that decided that results day is a sadist!” Abraxas complained once again. You stretched your arms in front of you with a light chuckle at his words. To be frank, your heart was not only nervous about the mission and having to spend a long time with Tom. But it was also because of the time you will spend away from your friends.

In the previous months, since you understood them, got closer to them, and they became a prominent part of your day. You never imagined that so many people would be able to mean so much to you in such a short time.

They cared for you, and you cared for them. It felt so nice to have your feelings reciprocated platonically like that. They understand you, and they don’t pester you to reveal things about yourself when you don’t want it. In such a short time, they became your everything.

So, when the train stopped moving, and the train loudly hissed in a stop. That’s when you couldn’t help but squeeze Abraxas’ hand unintentionally. “Are you okay?” he lightly asked, in a whisper while the others were getting ready to exit the train.

“Yeah, just feeling a little uneasy,” you said, “It’s just that…I will miss you all very much.”

Abraxas stared at his hands, “me too, I will miss you very much,” then he looked at you, squeezed your hand back and added “I don’t think I will be okay without you, not with my father that expects too much of me and not have you around to rant to you about how much I hate him.”

The train became quieter, and Orion exited the compartment first. “We will exchange letters, okay?” you hopefully requested.

“Of course, and I know we won’t be able to celebrate your birthday together, but we will celebrate on your behalf, and we will send you lots of pictures.” Abraxas said, now following you out of the compartment.

“Honestly you two, stop with the sappy good-byes. We will see each other soon.” Nancy gently reprimanded you and Abraxas. Once you all exited the train, Walburga directed you all towards the exit of platform nine and three quarters.

You were first pulled into a tight embrace by Abraxas, he patted your back soothingly and spoke in your ear, “stay safe and strong, send me lots of letters” you patted his back too, then pulled back with a sad smile, “you too, okay?” he nodded then you were pulled in a bear hug by the tall Walburga.

Her strong Parisian perfume invaded your nostrils, and for the first time you didn’t scrunch your nose because you will deeply miss her and miss it. “If you don’t write me letters, I will search this whole world to find you, got it?”

You pulled back with a chuckle, wiping a singular tear as you said, “I won’t disappear just like that, if anything I will be the one to find you”

Then she was pushed to the side by Nancy that firmly hugged you, a short one but conveyed all her feelings properly. “I will miss you.” you told her, she smiled and glanced to the floor, “I will miss you too.”

For Orion, he didn’t hug you and you didn’t either as you were aware he wasn’t a fan of physical touch. He only placed his palms on your shoulders, squeezed them with an awkward grin as he advised, “if you need anything, you tell me immediately, okay?”

You nodded, “okay, same goes for you.”

He chuckled and nodded back.

Then it was just like that, you won’t see your friends for the whole summer. Although it was a hot and a humid day, you couldn’t help but feel goosebumps and chills run through your body as you watched Abraxas weep and get dragged by his mother, as Walburga continued to wipe her tears and waved at you while following Orion, and Nancy grinned at you, waving at you.

Finally, you turned to face Tom. Words weren’t exchanged, but you only peered at him quietly and so did he. When the train next to you began moving, you sighed and moved closer to Tom. “So, we’re taking another train?” you asked.

“No, I thought that we can apparate there.” He said as he rolled his trunk on the pavement. “Good, I don’t think I can stand being cooped up in another train.” You said, as you pulled your trunk behind you out of the train station and towards a more isolated place to apparate.

“Actually, I have somewhere first to visit.” Tom suddenly spoke, you glanced at him before reaching a murky and a tight alley. “Can you wait for me here?” he asked, then pushed his trunk closer to yours own.

You avoided his gaze as you nodded, he sighed and said, “I will be back in five minutes.”

With a loud pop, he apparated and left you alone at the dark alley. You lifted your head to gaze at the full moon, with fear vibrating in your body. It felt a little strange that you felt safe in Hogwarts, even though it had Dumbledore who was watching you like a hawk, and racist muggle-borns that made your life difficult.

Though you had your friends who protected you all the time. But now you were alone. You knew you can trust Tom again, even if he pointed his wand at you, and you could swear that you saw a flicker of anger in his eyes that time. You knew he wouldn’t hurt you, but you couldn’t bring yourself to treat him as if he didn’t wrong you many times.

You just couldn’t see his point of view; you couldn’t understand why he was so adamant about you not protecting him. You have done it when you were younger, so what changed now?

The noise of something hitting the trash bin alerted you, quickly, you shot your head up as you watched a man staggering closer to you. He reeked of alcohol that churned your stomach, “what is someone’s slave doing here?”

“I am no slave.” You firmly stated your hands by your side as you thought of different ways to get out of this situation. “You think I believe this bullshit?” he said sarcastically, kicking the bin as it loudly clattered on the cobblestoned alley.

“Tony, look at this stupid slave…you said their bits looks different as well,” he said.

When you heard your trunk scraping with the floor, you turned with horror to find another equally drunk man. You supposed this was Tony. Or you hoped it is, because you cannot fight two men and let the third one sees it all and blabber about a black girl handling magic to the wrong person.

“Yeah, Tony told me its brown too,” the man behind you said.

You only shut your eyes as you gulped when his front hit your back. This wasn’t Tony, and you cannot fight those two without the third one showing. “I think it’s pink, wanna bet?” the previous man said, also stepping closer and allowing his dirty hand to trace your neck.

With your eyes closed, you secretly took out your wand and thought of a spell that could look like a normal physical attack. Before you can do anything, the man behind you suddenly dropped on the floor.

You turned to find Tom, with a brick in his hands and a dangerous scowl, the other drunk man said, “I’m sorry bloke, I didn’t know she’s your slave—” though he too immediately stopped speaking as Tom landed the heavy brick on the front of his head, he too, fell on the ground.

Tom kneeled and finished him off all while you harshly wiped your neck with the hem of your shirt. You only felt disgust, and you would’ve vomited your guts if only Tom didn’t place his weighted, and warm hands on your back. He brought you in a sideways embrace, then took both of your trunks and disapparated.

You landed on the port, you heard the sounds of the waves crashing on the shore, and it all overwhelmed you. “There was a third man, he must’ve seen us disapparate!” you shouted, shaking Tom from his black shirt. His palms covered the back of your hands, “I know, I took care of him too.”

Only then you calmed down, exhaled a deep breath with your head low and your eyes on the sand. The sound of the ocean, the loud horn of the sail boats, and finally to Tom’s palm smoothing over your hair, ever so gently.

Then in a surge of braveness and thoughtlessness, you lifted your head and stared in his eyes. Those eyes that you could swear got lighter at the sight of you. It was impossible how much affection they could hold, when at the same time you are still reminded of the flash of anger in his eyes the day he pointed his wand at you, intending to hurt you.

His eyebrows connected in a light frown, he lowered his head closer to you, “I’m sorry, very sorry about that day, can you forgive me?” He didn’t clarify, but you understood and preferred it to be this. As just him saying it clearly made your insides twist with pain.

You brought your lips to the corner of your mouth, your gaze dropping to his lips, only once but you lifted it to his eyes a second after. “I forgive you, don’t do it again.”

“I promise you, I won’t.” He promised, his eyes sparkling, his eyebrows lifting to give him an even softer look. You liked this Tom, the one that reminded you of the younger Tom, the one that would help you in a crisis and wouldn’t argue you with you, the Tom that would ask you for forgiveness when he knows he wronged you.

The one that you could understand and knew better than anyone the most.

Finally, you cleared your throat and stepped back once you collected yourself and pulled yourself together, “now, France?” you offered.

He sighed, nodded once, and affirmed, “France.”

Tom held your hand; his fingers covered your own although thankfully he didn’t wait for too long to allow the fuzzy feeling in the pit of your stomach to expand. Your world collapsed, it was tight and then it was normal again.

The scenery of the gorgeous blue ocean turned into a narrow alley way almost similar to the one in London. Then Tom pulled you behind him out of the alley way, it wasn’t crowded as you were aware since the start of the muggle war people never left their homes, and only when they absolutely had to.

It was you and Tom and several people in the street. You weren’t familiar with the roads or anything in this place, and you blindly followed Tom as you too allowed him to pull you wherever he wanted. You trusted him, and you couldn’t help but tenderly stare at his wide shoulders.

“This is Montemartre, it is like a French magic city, it’s called Place Cachée.” He shortly explained, pulling you to walk alongside him, although his long legs and large strides made it a little difficult.

“It’s in Paris?” you lightly asked, finally managing to keep up with his strides, with the top of your head aligning with his shoulder. “Yes, it’s in Paris.” He answered, staring at you once then looking away quickly once you reached a bronze statue of a woman perched on a large stone. “Oh!” you chanted softly, afraid that your voice would echo in the empty street.

He turned to look at you questionably, just as the bronze statue sensed magical presence and lifted her skirt. “Alphard came here one of his trips, it really is exactly as he described it!” you said in a hushed hiss. Tom eyes rolled in their sockets, then he pushed you inside first.

Your world changed for the second time this evening. However, the change in Place Cachée wasn’t as dramatic. It was almost the same place, if it wasn’t for the wand shop just on your right you might have thought you didn’t enter the magic city.

Then it dawned on you, just as the muggles have their wars, the magical people in France were also scared for their lives. It was the place where Grindelwald was walking in, and endlessly recruiting.

It was quiet, you can hear your footsteps echoing, and you felt your heart racing as you looked around you. Terror weighing the pit of your stomach, and danger wailing in your head. Tom once again appeared, he just walked from the doorway of the statue and then the first thing you did was stepped closer to him and held his hand.

Just as your fingers intertwined, that’s when your heart calmed down and the terror in your stomach got lighter. It didn’t completely disappear, it was still there, but it felt much better than before.

“I’m here with you,” he said, tugged on your hand to reassure you, “and I will be for a long time.”

The only sound in the quiet street was coming from your footsteps over the cobblestoned street, and your trunks rolling roughly on it.

“And I’m here with you, you know, so don’t be afraid.” You said, lightly indicating at the darkness that replaced the sunset hues from before. It was now pitch dark, if it wasn’t for the streetlights reflecting a warm light on the streets, making you see where you’re going.

“I’m no longer afraid of the dark, I fear nothing nowadays.” He stated. His eyes catching sight of the tall building, with a banner that read “âmes errantes auberge” which from his heavy studies on the French language the past months, it translated to “wandering souls’ hostel”

Just as the plan was, on the first night you two would spend a night on the inn, and then the very next morning you would depart to the forest and search for Dumbledore’s Enemy, Grindelwald.

“Are you not scared of…let’s say…insects?” you asked, referring to his fear from childhood along the dark. “The orphanage had many insects, so I’m no longer scared.” He swiftly answered, opening the door of the hostel for you.

You entered first, and headed for the front desk, you ringed it, your weight shifting from your heels to your toes as you watched around the dimly lit reception. The flooring was wooden, and the walls had a unique intricate wallpaper that you didn’t mind looking at for two minutes.

Then you watched Tom, “what about the ocean?” you asked, knowing it wasn’t one of his childhood fears, but rather it was yours. You traveled for many months in it with Victoria, but you still couldn’t get over your fear.

The water was simply too deep, and too dark, and the nights on the ship were even more terrifying. It was so dark and cold, and quiet that you felt that if you looked down, you might see monsters waiting to eat you whole—if you could even see, as it was too dark that it almost seemed as if you were inside a black hole that swallowed even light.

He grinned, “I was never afraid of the ocean, it was you.” then he turned to face you, catching your gaze that was now filled with sparkles and life, almost mimicking the one you had in your childhood, “what about you, are you still afraid of the ocean?”

“Yes, even though me and Victoria spent months on a ferry in the middle of the ocean, I still fear it so much.” You answered, shortly cutting your words when a young man appeared from the door behind the counter.

He and Tom spoke in full French, as you paid your whole attention to the wallpaper, knowing that you won’t understand a single word.

“Good evening, Sir, how may I help you?” The man asked Tom, as your companion fluently answered, “I would like to book a room for one night.” The man nodded, glancing at his enchanted quill that wrote the date and time of the booking. Then he stopped, “Double of single?”

Tom felt a little silly as he asked with parted lips, “Pardon?” The man sighed a little, then pointed with his eyes at you, “Is she your lover?” Tom features went rigid, and he lost the ability to speak. Again, the man explained tiredly, “I mean do you want two single beds or one double bed?”

At that, Tom couldn’t help the ray of pride that lit in his core, and he lifted his head up and gave one individual nod, nor the smirk that he tried so hard to hide, but failed to do so, “yes, she is my lover. One double bed.”

“Here you go, leave the luggage here and you will find it in your room just as you reach there.” Finally, the man handed Tom a single key, attached to a card that had the room number in it. Then he glanced between you and Tom with a small polite smile, “Have a nice stay.”

You walked through double doors, that led to a wider dining area and a handsome set of stairs leading to the upper levels. There were some people sat at the dining area, occupying a few tables, “I’m famished, should we sit down and eat?” you asked, glancing at Tom that nodded, still smiling from before.

Curiously, as you both sat down, you interrogated, “what did the man tell you that it has you smiling so wide now?”

“He didn’t say anything” Tom said, looking away, waving for a tired looking woman to approach your table. “Yes, he did, and it made you smile. So…tell me!” you hissed, elbowing his shoulder.

Before he can protest, the woman came over, then asked, “what can I get for you and your lover?” she said, her eyes pointing at you. This time he couldn’t hide his smile on time, it had you clapping quietly and pointing at his face. A silent indication of a physical proof of your previous words.

He told her the order, and then when she left you continued your interrogation. “Come on you have to tell me!”

“I actually don’t have to tell you.” He said, unwavering at all and your words aren’t breaking his resolve. “Tell me!” you insisted.

He smirked, crossing his arms over his chest, and looking down at you with a hint of mischief, “what do I get in return?”

You looked around you, then patted on your pockets and thought heard of anything to give to him in hopes of him telling you what has him smiling so wide. It was very difficult to see him in a good mood, let alone see him smile, and you wanted to know so bad what got him smiling.

Not finding a single thing that he deems valuable, you decided to say, “I will do anything you want.”

He pretended to think hard about your words, but just as the waitress came back with your food, he said, “I will think about it, and I will give you my answer tomorrow.”

Satisfied, you nodded, “okay, but you better not be lying to me.”

The waitress set the dishes over the table, you picked up a spoon as you smiled at her gratefully and she shared a single grin before walking away to leave you and Tom to enjoy your food. “But how did you get the money to pay for all of this?”

“Must you be so coarse?” he responded snappily with a question, you rolled your eyes, “conversations with you are so difficult, no wonder everyone agrees to whatever your say so they can get on your good side.”

“You only think so because you disagree to everything I say. It’s not my fault your questions are so invasive.”

You shot him a glare, he didn’t glance at you once, deciding that your fit of fuss would dissipate soon if he just let you be. Just like before. as it went quiet as you both focused on eating, but you huffed in slight frustration and sat sideways, your back facing him and quickly eating your food so when you finished your plate quickly, you can leave to the room first.

But you choked and coughed violently as you tried to regulate your body again. He handed you a cup of water, with a hand smoothly patting your back, you shamefully snatched the cup from his fingers. When the coughing got lighter, you noticed his touch on your back.

You shared a look, then you bit your lower lip as you tried your best not to burst in laughter, “why are we acting like children? Why do we fight all the time?”

His lips lifted in a smile, “for your information, I did not consider that a fight and your questions were invasive, do you have to ask about my fears and where I get my money?”

Your palm slapped the table, with disbelief, “that’s because your questions are invasive! You have to know about everything there’s in my life meanwhile I get nothing!” you hissed. He chuckled dryly, shook his head stubbornly which made stare at him with disbelief, “that is inaccurate.”

“Yes, it is.” You argued. He faced you, “name one time.”

“I can name several, that time I went to the sorting hat so it can tell me what it saw in my head, you wanted to know everything,” you stated quickly, he shook his head again, and debunked your words with one single headshake that made you fume.

“Also demanding to know what’s between me and Alphard Black? That was invasive.”

His face flamed, but you were too focused on forcing him to see your point of view that you didn’t notice it, “I admit it was invasive, but that was because I thought—”

This time you shook your head, and Tom knew how much a headshake can get on his nerves, “it doesn’t matter anymore,” you said, looking at him through your nose as you stated, “but know that if you start to have feelings for anyone, I will be invasive too.”

Tom looked away, breaking the eye-contact in result, “you had feelings for Alphard?”

You pointed at him again, another physical evidence that his questions were invasive too. He rolled his eyes, sighed, and repeated his question, “you had feelings for him?”

“Sure, you can say I had a teeny tiny crush on him,” you said while slowly nodding, then your smile turned bashful as you talked more about Alphard Black, and Tom felt the angry green monster named jealousy wake up once again and began to start munching on his organs. ”I mean he was older than us and he was fun and charming, of course I had a crush on him.”

Your words made Tom feel nauseous, then you shook your head, “well a crush is a strong word, you can say it was just interest. Besides, I already rejected him. I love Walburga too much and I don’t want to hurt her.”

Then the nausea calmed down, and he felt a little better. You were right, if you liked Alphard so much, then you would’ve gone ahead and dated him. But you broke everything with him and stated your boundaries very clearly, he was proud of that.

Except that thought completely shattered and a siren blared in his head, reminding him of another pest that continued to bother you. Malcolm Fucking McGonagall. That plain little boy that thinks by holding your books and cracking jokes he can end up on your good side. Except it did work for him, Malcolm McGonagall is on your good side, and he’s been on it for a long time that your friends noticed it too.

But again, it’s not like Malcolm made it a secret.

Tom hated that he stooped so low that he even thinks about other people competing with him for your attention, it is truly a shameful feeling to get so jealous when He, Tom Marvolo Riddle, was perfect in every aspect. He didn’t lack anything, and soon, when getting rid of Dumbledore and then Grindelwald and creating horcruxes with their souls. He will be the most perfect being ever.

Immortal, powerful, and intelligent.

Then you will know that no one else is worthy of your attention, and affection, the thought made him recall the inn staff calling you his lover and he couldn’t help the blush that originated from his neck to all his body.

You scooted your chair closer to him, it scraped faintly on the wooden floor, but the sound and the wave of your warmth forced Tom to turn his head to face you. A little surprised with your sudden proximity, and then you rested your head on your palm.

Tom saw that usual mischievous glint in your stare, along a smile that you tried to force. He pondered if you finally connected all the dots and figured his feelings to you. His heart began racing and his face heated, except it came to a sharp halt as you questioned, “did you have a crush on someone?”

He rolled his eyes and scoffed, you insisted, “come on, you must tell me! I promise I won’t tell anyone!”

“Good, because there’s nothing to be told.” He said, standing abruptly, and thinking he had enough of his dinner as your previous conversation and your current one made him lose his appetite.

He thought how you can be so dense, and to not realise his clear feelings for you. From before, and to this current moment. He’d never loved anyone but you. It was you back then, and you are now.

You followed him to the elevator, he pressed the floor and hoped the doors would shut before you can enter, but right before the doors can join, you jumped in and grinned devilishly at him. “There’s no way you lived your whole life not having a single crush!”

Tom ignored you, stared at his reflection on the metallic doors, but you were persistent, and broke his personal bubble with resting your palm on his shoulder and bringing your face dangerously close to his.

“Come on! I said I won’t tell anyone so please tell me!”

“I told you there’s nothing to be said about it.” He said, looking straight.

“Fine then, I will guess, and I will even imagine crazy romantic stories with you being the sappy one and you know how rich my imagination is,” you said, stepping back as you stared at his reflection and missing his red ears.

“Your first crush was a girl in the orphanage,” you suddenly said, he sneered, the elevator doors parted and you two walked out as you continued, “you two would read stories together and play together all the time, she was the one person you tolerated in it,”

You followed Tom, watched him slip the key in the keyhole and twisting it open, the door opened as you continued to speak, “but that tragic love story ended when she got adopted, and you never saw her again.” You finished, smiling as you kneeled down to open your suitcase.

Then the single bed caught your attention as you took out your sleeping gown, “there’s only one bed?” you asked, once again missing Tom’s red ears and how red his face has gotten, he said turning to open his suitcase, “there were no double bedrooms.”

“Is this why you were smiling?” you asked, walking to the bathroom conjoined with the tiny room. Tom froze, he stared up at you with shame, and before he can swirl in embarrassment and think of a way to take out your wand and erase your memory, you said, “because you knew I will be sleeping on the ground? Wow, aren’t you evil?”

It wasn’t ideal that you thought Tom would even wish evil for you, he was a little relieved that you didn’t realise how excited he was to sleep with you. To relive a single childhood memory, and act as if nothing bad ever happened. That you were all still in that tiny London flat with Victoria. Also, his secret selfish desire of just wanting to have you for himself, to act as if you two were ordinary lovers.

You stepped out of the bathroom wearing your sleeping gown, and Tom was clad in his pyjamas which you could not help but giggle about a little. He glared at you, and you said, “I’m sorry but I think it’s a little funny!”

He harshly stated, “It’s not funny.” You shrugged your shoulders, as you took the light blanket from the armchair, and you approached the bed and took a pillow.

“What are you doing?”

“Preparing to sleep on the floor, like you wanted.” You said, dropped the pillow on the floor. Right as you lowered yourself to the floor, Tom pulled you up from your forearm, gently as his cold fingers left goosebumps on your whole skin originating from the place he touched.

“Sleep with me.”

Shocked, you did not speak and allowed him to push you on the bed. Your heart was beating so loudly in your chest, you doubted if he can hear it and he was having fun with his effect on you. The bed was not so small, but you can still feel his warmth as he scooted closer to your body, and you simply allowed him to infiltrate your space.

The silence was deafening, even with the sound of your heart pounding.

You stared at his rigid posture; his arms forced on his sides uncomfortably, his chest rising and falling unsteadily. “Are you uncomfortable?” you asked.

“No, I am.” He said, you concluded it was a lie and sighed as you laid on your side, “we used to sleep together, why are you so uncomfortable now?”

“I don’t know, why are you?” he remarked, glancing at you from his peripheral.

You sighed, and slowly nodded your head, “right, we used to be so close now why are we so awkward with each other?” then you forced another dramatic sigh before saying, “you won’t even tell me about any of your crushes,”

He let out a breathy short laugh, and you allowed the butterflies in your stomach to go a little crazy at the sound of his laugh.

Bravely, he laid on his side and faced you, his arm extended to lay under the pillow, and you felt it under your head. You shared a long stare, with no thoughts in your head, and the butterflies still flocking their wings rabidly in your tummy.

His dark eyes that reflected your face, the contrast of his pale skin with his dark hair, and a strand falling on his forehead, then dropping to cover his eyes, you could not control your hand or your intrusive thoughts that allowed your hand to impulsively tuck that hair away from his eyes.

“There’s no one.”

Tom suddenly said, then he confessed, “I didn’t love anyone, only…only you.”

All of a sudden, your tummy felt lighter, and your face had gotten hotter, and all you could do was quietly stare at Tom Marvolo Riddle. Then with the same bravery he had, if not more, you unlinked your hands from under your head and stretched your arms under Tom’s body and brought his head to lay on your chest.

For the first time that night, you knew for a fact that he can hear how fast your heart was pounding.

Tom wanted to tell you many things, about how much you mean to him, and if anything were to happen to you, he will break down and wither away with death. If anything happened to you, he would welcome death, if not seek it.

Now that you are by his side, he will make sure nothing ever would part you both. Then his thoughts lead him to think about his mother, did she too, have such strong feelings for his father?

The wave of negative thoughts made him wrap his arms around you, both arms around your waist and pulling you even closer to him, his head laid on your bosom, but he was too thankful that you were by his side to feel coy or embarrassed.

The following day, you packed your things in a smaller pack and walked the lightly live streets of Place Cachée. When you rose this morning, you fully expected for Tom to shun you out, just like he always would whenever you two got closer.

But this time it was different, he wasn’t in bed, but he talked to you during breakfast, and he even laughed at some of your jokes, waking up those butterflies in result. So, you felt content about holding hands with him and apparating out of the city.

To the forest that Tom predicted Grindelwald will be in.

The deep greenery of the forest almost made you think you were colorblind if it wasn’t for the way Tom’s features looked even paler under the misty atmosphere. He took your hand in his and began talking large steps towards the large pond in the middle of the forest.

“It looks creepy, doesn’t it?” you remarked, not really expecting an answer from Tom that had answered, “Perfect meeting spot for them.” You didn’t ask him to specify on who ‘them’ is, and you walked closer to the pond, breaking the connection of your hands holding.

You kneeled and dipped your fingers inside the cold pond water, swished it a little as Tom looked around him with his hands on his sides—alarmed and erected in case anything comes charging at you.

“How long do you think it will take for them to come here?” you asked, Tom shrugged his shoulders, “I don’t know, hours…days…weeks?”

You immediately stood up and faced him, “you’re not even sure they will be here?”

He frowned, “of course I know they will be here this month.”

You repeated his words with a gasp, “this month?! You expect us to wait here for a month?”

Exasperated, he sighed, “obviously not, but there’s still a probability that we will wait here for a—” then he cut his own words, as you both turned to look at the same direction, standing next to each other and holding hands tightly again.

You both gawked at your long-awaited guest, unwilling guest, Grindelwald in all his glory. Tom’s hold on your fingers tightened, to the point the blood circulation was cut, but you were too busy staring at Grindelwald to notice anything.

The white-haired man walked slowly, lazily even, his eyes shifting between you and Tom as he evaluated you both.

Then after a long battle of simply staring, he finally spoke, “I have to ask, what are two of Dumbledore’s students doing here?” then he stepped closer, and what separated you from him was a large fallen tree.

“I doubt you two are here on a holiday,” he remarked, then tilted his head back and seemed to be deep in thought—but you knew better than to believe any of his face expressions. “Why are two of Dumbledore’s students seeking me out?”

Chapter Text

Grindelwald standing right in front of you felt like you were experiencing this moment through the eyes of someone else, It was unbelievable how he was in the flesh and speaking to you and Tom. Grindelwald was staring at Tom, calculating him and his abilities. 

Even though it was only you three, you felt that there were many pairs of eyes analysing every breath you took and reading every thought you made.

Although Gellert’s attention was the one that startled you the most. The way his eyes stared you both down unsettlingly made you want to run. You didn’t understand how Tom seemed unfazed by him. A bone in your body screamed at you to gather the attention to yourself, not because you wanted it but because attention from Grindelwald was a terrible thing and you didn’t want him to hurt Tom. You took a brave step forward and hurriedly said, “We’re here because we want to help get rid of Dumbledore.”

Grindelwald peered down at you, and unlike how you would stare at any other silvery orbs, those settled fear into your core and you tried everything in your power to stop yourself from exposing your fear. “Help me, you said?” he repeated.

“Yes, we may not look like it but we’re powerful.” 

“I can tell.” He slowly said, looking at you with a slow analysing stare and then detaching his gaze to Tom. 

All this time, Tom had been silent and only used up his time to calculate everything there was about Grindelwald. “You said you’re here because you want to help me get rid of Dumbledore,” Gellert repeated your previous sentence slowly.

Now that he spelled it out for you like this, you realised how silly it seemed in his eyes. However, to your shock, his lips lifted in a smirk and he said with a nod, “I believe you.”

Stunned, you shared a confused stare with Tom. 

You two had expected it to go many ways, but never in a way that went the way you wanted it. Gellert was no fool, and this might be him painting a faux sense of security for you to trap you in something that was even more dangerous.

“The plan cannot wait,” Tom stated and stepped adamantly as if to prove his point. Gellert's eyes rose to meet Tom’s with slight amusement, “We must get rid of him as soon as possible, he is getting more powerful with time.” Scared, you took the same step and placed an arm in front of Tom, “he doesn’t mean it like that, he just—”

“No.” 

You weren’t sure what caught you off guard more, the word or the voice. Startled, you and Tom turned around to stare at whoever displayed that strong rejection. 

“Canna.” It wasn’t you that said her name, and you don’t think you can while your lips were frozen in shock as well as your whole body. It was Grindelwald. Canna gracefully walked to him, and before you and Tom, her arms crossed, and hate written all over her face.

“She won’t join, she has no sense of loyalty, and she will throw us all away for a slightly better chance,” Canna stated hatefully. 

“Don’t pretend like you know all about her when you’re the one who was a coward to do anything for a slightly better chance.” Tom coldly stated.

Canna frowned, looked him up and down, and then her eyes widened with amusement and the ghost of a bitter smirk, “Is that the boy you betrayed your family for?”

You found yourself saying, “They were not my family.”

“She’s the sister you told me about?” Gellert said, although you can tell that he was fully aware of your relation to Canna from your interaction, he just wanted to intimidate you by stating that fact out loud.

It had the desired effect for some reason, you felt smaller.

“You’re weak and a coward.” Tom suddenly said, looking down at Canna, “You were too weak to run away and too much of a coward to ruin all of (Y/N)’s chances of running away,”

His hand circled your wrist, then slipped down to hold your hand fully, and you had to mentally search for a button that would calm down the butterflies in your stomach. He took a step back, and your body automatically followed him, “You don’t think of them as your family, you’re just bitter you didn’t think about doing it first and you’re giving yourself a reason to mask your jealousy and incompetence,”

“I thought that we had the same goals, but we don’t.” He finalised, pulled you behind him, and walked away.

The butterflies and the moths were going insane, it felt like you were flying in the air with the way you felt light in your joints.

“You two are valuable assets considering you’re the only ones that can get close to Dumbledore without raising suspicion.” Gellert suddenly said and made Tom stop in his tracks, including you as the only power pushing you forward was Tom.

“She may have no loyalty…” he added, and you lightly rolled your eyes, “but it doesn’t matter because we all have the same goal and it’s to get rid of Dumbledore as she phrased it”

“I’m waiting because of an unbreakable vow.”

That previous look, you and Tom shared it once again only this time with more anxiety as it had a concept you two were very similar with; unbreakable vows.

“Dumbledore and I performed an unbreakable vow when we had similar visions. It is what is stopping us from duelling, and until it breaks there’s nothing I can do.”

“So, you’re absolutely useless right now,” Tom stated, his lips tightened and all you could think of was the complete horror of Tom's inability to fix his speech in front of a great powerful evil sorcerer. Gellert Grindelwald may be useless in a fight against Dumbledore, but he definitely wasn’t against you and Tom. Analysing him, he could hurt you and Tom in the blink of an eye, and you won’t be able to do anything to protect you both.

You nudged Tom and hoped that he would get your message.

Grindelwald smiled with the same amusement from before, “Send for me when you get back to Hogwarts,” he said, You froze and only managed to nod your head slowly, “You can perform small tasks for me to help achieve our goal.”

With that, Gellert disappeared. 

Canna shot you one last hateful glare before also disapparating, Just as all the pairs of eyes that were watching you disappeared, you felt like you could finally breathe.

“That fool is weak and a coward,” Tom said, turning around and sighing. 

“I can’t believe he wants to wait, we don’t have time to wait.” You muttered, still fully aware of Tom’s hand circling your own. You tugged at his hand and asked, “So, what are we going to do now?” 

Tom sighed, “It seems that he wants to initiate his plan in Hogwarts, so for now we wait.” 

The sigh he let out made your eyes automatically stare up at his slightly pouty pink lips. Did he always have such nice lips?

You didn’t let it linger too long as you turned your head to the side, “You know what we should do?”

“Do I even want to know?” he said, attempting to hide his smile that filled you with pride at having made Tom smile. 

You didn’t know how you managed to rope Tom in your scheme of surprising your friends. But he went with you and didn’t complain at all which was something you slightly predicted. 

According to the quick rundown of the summer vacation that your friends gave you, they would mostly spend all their afternoons and evenings at the Malfoy’s mansion. Orion told you that the initial intrigue their families would have about them would all disappear the very next day and that was why they wouldn’t spend much at their homes and most of the time would be at the Malfoys.

While not many people liked Natalia Malfoy, the younger generation was fond of her. 

When she saw you and Tom standing at the threshold of the Malfoy’s mansion, she squealed with happiness and the burning Martini in her hand swirled with her light joyful bounce. 

“(Y/N)! Tommy!” She called happily and brought you into a hug—clearly leaving Tom out of the hug as she knew his dislike for them, and it seemed that her decision of leaving him out made him forgive her for calling him that atrocious nickname “Abraxas told me you won’t be able to come! But you’re here!”

“We finished what we had to do, and thought we should come to say hi and surprise everyone,” you said, lightly patting her back, she moved to the side and let you both inside. 

“Wise decision, they are all upstairs in the game room, now how should we surprise them?” she asked, her words thick with her pretty accent. “Well, they’re all in the game room so maybe you should wait in Abraxas’ room and then I will tell them to go clean his room and he would get so pissed—” she continued to explain as she dragged you two up the large set of stairs.

However, she couldn’t finish her words as two shouts were heard. One shrieking yell that belonged to Walburga and another deeper one that belonged to Abraxas, as well as the faint gasp from Orion, “Tom! (Y/N)!”

You were quickly pulled into a tight embrace you couldn’t process by Abraxas, Walburga, and Nancy, it hadn’t even been a week since you last said your goodbyes at the train so you wondered, but you shared their feelings and how much you missed them, you tried to wrap both of your arms around them all while sharing their delighted repeated, “I missed you so much!”

You only broke the embrace because your arms got sore, but if it didn’t you don’t think you would let them go, ever. 

If pirates had treasures to hide in isolated islands, then your friends were the treasures that you would put in your pocket at all times so they’re with you at all times. 

Walburga was smiling from ear to ear, She held your hand and pulled you to sit in the large sitting room right by the foyer, “Not much happened since I last saw you, We just played lots of games and Abraxas is being his usual sore loser self.”

“Might I remind you that this is my home and if I wish I can simply kick you out?” Abraxas rolled his eyes. 

Even though it was a joke, Natalia tutted a loud, “That’s not nice, Abraxas.”

Walburga and Nancy mimicked his mum and that led to Abraxas' cheeks turning scarlet, “Can you sit down like civilized humans? I didn’t even get to look at (Y/N)” Orion stated, crossing his arms over his chest as everyone scattered to take their seats. 

With Walburga and Nancy on either side of you on the three-seat sofa, Abraxas sighed before shaking his head and pulling you up from your arm in order to make space for himself between you and Walburga. The four of you were squeezed into each other on the three-seater leather sofa. Still, you loved it and wouldn’t have it any other way.

Instantly, without wasting a second, you placed your head on Nancy’s shoulder and held hands with Abraxas while you watched Orion on the two-seater sofa.

As Tom found his usual armchair, you took a mental note at the forefront of your head that was usually recorded at the back of it how Tom always liked sitting in armchairs. He wasn’t a fan of sharing a seat with anyone else, and you think how if he weren’t forced to share the couch at the Hogwarts Express, he wouldn't all together. 

“Where were you, both of you?” it was Orion that asked. His tone didn’t seem as accusatory as his words were. You quickly concluded that the boy simply was too preoccupied and tongue-tied to come up with a proper wording of the same question for Tom.

“Yes, and the two of you came together. I really would like to know.” Nancy supported you, you felt the vibrations of her voice from her neck.

Tom didn’t seem to take offense, all while you didn’t know what to tell your friends. Thus, you decided to leave it all to Tom whether he wanted to come clean or not.

“Deatheaters.” He called. 

You sensed how the atmosphere got so tense and all your friends’ eyes were on you. It seemed like they were so nervous that Tom said that word in your presence. 

“It’s okay, she knows,” Tom reassured, but you didn’t know what he presumed you knew.

The timing seemed off to demand, so you didn’t speak and relished in the way that they all seemed to become a little bit relaxed. 

“We sought Grindelwald at Paris,” Tom prompted, as your eyes went wild and your ears opened as you tried to figure out how everyone just knew what he was saying when he himself refused to tell your friends. He did insist that a secret with more than two people in it was no longer a secret but a public relation.

You wanted to scoff at him now. All your friends seemed to know what he was saying, and he kept you in the dark about most of it. In a truce with yourself, you compromised by glaring at him while he pretended you weren’t glaring at him.

So they all knew that he was seeking Grindelwald with you? You don’t think that them knowing about your plan to kill Dumbledore is outrageous.

“He said he will give us tasks to finish to kill him.” Since no one seemed confused about the ‘him’ Tom meant, you safely assumed that they did know about your full plan.

You weren’t angry that Tom told them, in fact, it lifted a huge mountain off your chest as you no longer had to hide and lie to your friends about anything. You were angry that he didn’t tell you that he told them, and when you asked him to tell them he refused as if he didn’t tell them a long time before.

Perhaps he told them on the day they attacked the mudbloods at Hogsmeade, or perhaps even earlier than that. But you don’t think it’s before you got closer as you clearly remember Abraxas asking you about your relationship with Tom. 

You almost want to confront Tom, Why did he specifically tell you not to tell your friends but he went anyway and told them? Why does he think he can simply control you? Who does he think he is? Does he not trust you as much as you trust him? As frustration is filling you up and weighing on your heart, Tom stares at you, gently. 

Then all your anger and frustration is simply put aside. It’s not forgotten, no, but it’s simply put aside. Your face feels hot at the way he looks at you, and you can only look away from the softness of it.

Does he look at anyone else like that? You wished that the answer would be negative and he would reserve all those looks for only you.

you cannot believe that one lingering look from him when he was telling the others about everything that had happened made you calm down, even for a bit. You knew with all your heart that if the you from a few weeks ago was put in your place right now, she’d scoff and stomp all the way to Tom with a wand out and shout at him “Why are you such a hypocrite?!”

But it was the you now that was sat on that sofa, staring wide-eyed and dreamy-eyed at Tom. It was the you that was protected by Tom, it was the you that got the Tom that pleaded for her forgiveness, it was the you that held Tom throughout the night, it was the Tom that told you that he loved only you.

“I didn’t love anyone, only…only you.”

As that sentence replayed in your head, you felt your temperature go up with embarrassment. 

that night rewinded inside your head, and you kept on pressuring yourself to know how you remained calm throughout it all even though you heard your heartbeat in your ears. He held your hand and pushed you on the bed, You courageously brought his head on your chest and your arms around his body, your legs tangled under the blanket.

The more you recall it in the bright sun that’s coming from the large circular window inside the Malfoy manor, it seems outrageous and the whole ordeal is making you shy and making you start to avoid Tom’s lingering gaze.

After all, you were way too preoccupied with him not shunning you out now that he allowed himself to be vulnerable with you, that you completely forgot to process the situation. 

So, sat in the warmly lit sitting room with your filled and stressed head on Nancy’s shoulder and your clammy hand holding Abraxas’.

Paying attention only when your friends stood up, getting the whole story from Tom and you reckon he told them about your sister somewhere that made them turn to stare at you. Promptly, you lifted your head off Nancy’s shoulder and said, “Canna’s my sister,”

“Half-sister,” Tom elaborated. “She’s dangerous.” He added.

“Not much, she’s just…” You didn’t know how to describe Canna. She was your sister and your only companion in that evil scheme. While she didn’t support your plans to run away, you concluded that she was brainwashed into thinking they were her family.

“I feel sorry for her,” your words made Orion scoff and shake his head firmly, “I left her and she was oblivious about the real world and didn’t have anywhere to belong…” you then added, glancing at Tom, “that’s why she joined Grindelwald.”

“Oh please.” Orion said, standing up and arguing, “You left her for a perfectly good reason, I’m sure. She’s oblivious about the real world?” he repeated your words finally, “She killed and tortured, she knows and if she doesn’t she’s choosing to be oblivious.”

To your surprise, Walburga also stood up and affirmed his argument, “She is not some clueless oblivious little lamb, and you’re not one either.” She pulled you from your arm as if you were a ragdoll, “You left her and I’m fucking glad you did that because you’re here with us.”

“That’s cheesy.” You said, then smiling at the Black cousins, “Thank you.”

Nancy got your attention by tugging on your sleeve, “Blood is thicker than water,” Walburga raised an eyebrow to argue but Nancy stopped her by raising a palm, as she continued, “The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb.”

“It means the relationships you make matter more than the relationships you’re born with,” Abraxas explained before she could explain, and this time he pulled you behind him out of the sitting room and towards the dining room. 

The table was already set for all of you, Natalia was already sitting at the head of the table nursing wine instead of the martini she was holding earlier. She smiled brightly at all of you, and you couldn’t help but notice the eerie similarities between her and Abraxas. 

The only difference was instead of pale blonde hair she had beautiful light brown hair that almost mimicked a blonde, but it wasn’t as pale as Abraxas and you concluded that he inherited his father’s hair colour. 

Before you can fully approach the dining table, Abraxas held your hand and said with his frivolous tone, “I know what we’re gonna do later.” 

His hand didn’t get a chance to fully warm your own as you both were nudged to the side, your hands disconnecting, you and Abraxas stared at Tom with confusion. The boy gave a solemn look, “apologies.” he said.

Abraxas shrugged it off quickly and repeated his words from before as you pretended you didn’t understand the meaning of Tom’s nudge. “What?” you asked, can’t help but smile.

“We’re going to hex some muggles,” Abraxas affirmed innocently. 

The idea was outrageous and honestly, you were in no position to go around hexing muggles when Dumbledore could use any excuse in order to obliviate you and toss you to the muggle world. Also, neither were they. 

They were all under the age of Seventeen, meaning, the Ministry of Magic oversees all their wand usage and will expel them from Hogwarts. You don’t think you will be able to withstand Hogwarts if it was just you.

“Abraxas, no. We can’t.” You firmly rejected it. 

You all sat around the dining table. “Give me one reason why we can’t” He demanded, rolling his eyes at your immediate rejection. 

“Well, your wands are being monitored by the Ministry of Magic and you’ll be expelled from school, as for me Dumbledore will use any opportunity he can get to kick me out of the magical world.” Then, you sighed and turned to face him, “Also, if you knew about the whole story of me and wanting to look for Grindelwald and killing Dumbledore, why didn’t you tell me anything?”

“We only knew a few days ago, and how exactly were you going to react if you knew about our little club? You already freaked out when we attacked Hogsmeade.”

“Abraxas…” you sighed, he repeated your name back with a sigh, “(Y/N)...”

You fought a smile but lost and it spread on your face, “Out of all the names you can choose for yourself you chose ‘Deatheaters’? Also, Tom is the one to lead you all?”

Nancy chuckled next to you, “he chose that name, and if you haven’t noticed Tom is the secret boss to Slytherin.” 

“Secret?” Walburga repeated with a laugh, and you four laughed secretly about it before Tom and Orion could notice. 

“But wait, does it mean that all of Slytherin knows about it?” With the last word you motioned to you all, Abraxas grinned, “No but Tom said we will start recruiting and we already have some promising recruits. There are some rules to it, of course.”

Before you can open your mouth and ask, Walburga answers for you, “They have to be of the sacred twenty-eight, their parents work at the ministry or the daily prophet—” She was cut by Nancy who said, “It basically means their parents have to have authority.”

Then while they droned about the rest of the rules and who they were thinking of recruiting you zoned out slightly. You analysed the circle, the thought was a recurring thought but having Nancy spell it out for you was giving you some sort of mixed strange feelings.

Your circle consisted of the most powerful families of the British wizarding world, they all had to offer something. All of their families have been working in the ministry for centuries and set their roots so deep in it so that they will never be easily deposed. 

Abraxas Malfoy's father works for the council at the Ministry of Magic.

Walburga and Orion Black fathers work for the council as well and have deep roots at Gringotts Bank. 

Nancy Parkinson’s parents work at the magical law enforcement department. 

“So your parents know about this?” You asked, Silence enveloped the dining room as the clinking of silverware stopped, everyone seemed tense until Tom answered you, “Their parents do not know, yet.”

“And you want them to know? Will it be a good thing?” you asked again.

“The elders are already happy about the attack on mudbloods at Hogsmeade, we want them to know but in good time. Possibly after Tom starts working at the ministry.” Orion answered this time. You narrowed your eyes at Tom, he still had two good years at Hogwarts considering he was aiming to get his N.E.W.Ts, this plan seemed like it would take an awfully good time.

“Grindelwald, what will happen to him? I mean we’re planning to kill Dumbledore, are we not?” you asked, frowning and hoping that they would all explain it to you in simpler terms or at least let you on the whole thing a bit more slowly.

“We kill Dumbledore first, we will take care of Grindelwald after.” Tom quietly said. You sighed as you turned your face to look at him, and set your silverware on the table, “How well we get rid of Grindelwald?”

Tom let out a patient sigh, before casting you a long look, “Grindelwald is a narcissist, his only aim is to find the elder wand. We can use that as leverage. He is easily disposable.”

You don’t feel like arguing with Tom more about this when he looks so adamant about it, so you let it go. You looked away first and felt Tom’s lingering stare before Nancy changed the topic, she grinned at you as she sat on the edge of her seat, “anyways, I have someone I need you to meet,”

“Me?”

“Yes, he’s an auror and I talked to him about you so you can immediately join in after graduation. He said you can join now, aurors don’t really need N.E.W.Ts.”

Your eyes widened, and you felt Abraxas’ shoulders sag before he said, “But I wanted us to spend another year together at Hogwarts.” 

“Shut up, mister simpleton. This is her dream and her life and she can make her own decisions.” Orion stated aggressively, Nancy nodded in agreement, “It’s totally up to you, you do not have to go through early graduation if you don’t want to.” she added.

“Yes, we are aware of that. But I want us to spend more time together.” Walburga argued. It was Abraxas’ turn to nod and flip Orion off. 

“We can graduate together too, I’m graduating next year.” Walburga convinced you.

“You don’t have to spend one more hour with racist mudbloods.” Orion reasoned.

Then everyone around the table turned to stare at you intensely, and quietly while awaiting for your final decision. 

Tongue-tied, you awkwardly stammered as you thought wildly of words to say to calm your friends down. Each had a reasonable side, and you didn’t want to take a side to hurt the other. Lucky for you, Natalia Malfoy gracefully patted her hand on the mahogany dining table, catching everyone’s attention.

“This is dinner time and not debate time.” 

With that, they took their eyes off you and sulkily proceeded to eat a tense dinner. Even after dinner, you were all sent to your respective rooms and none of your friends thought about coming to your room and sharing a fun conversation with you and then a bed.

You sensed the topic of discussing your future all left a bitter taste after dinner, so, the best option is to allow everyone to cool off before attempting to make a decision.

The idea of starting your life sooner felt incredible, that you could finally find some direction in your own life. Plus not having to deal with Dumbledore felt so relieving, as he wouldn’t have that much power outside Hogwarts, and the racist mudbloods can be an unpleasant memory from the past or an unpleasant encounter from time to time.

You heard from Professor Merrythought that Aurors often worked alone.

But you would miss your friends, and that future may come if you spend one more year with them. You still didn’t feel full of them, you needed more time with them before you all could go to your respective paths. 

As you were drowning yourself in your thoughts, the gentle knock on the door cut your rope of thoughts. You blinked in surprise before you smiled wide and rushed to open your bedroom door. 

You expected Abraxas, Walburga, and Nancy. You were even expecting Orion. 

But it was Tom behind the door.

You let out a sound of surprise that you tried to drown, but he lessened the distance between you two, in order to enter your room. You stepped to the side with a very hot face and allowed him to brush past you inside. 

“What are you doing?” he asks, glancing at you before looking at the unfinished book you left marked on the vanity. “Nothing, just thinking.”

He nods slowly, “about what Nancy said?” 

You only hum in response. He nods again then finally stares at you, “Don’t do it.”

“Do what?”

“Graduate early and become an apprentice.” He elaborated. 

The finality in his tone awakened that anger and frustration you put aside earlier. Who does he think he is? Telling you what to do. 

If your head is slightly clear, then you can see it. You understand his point of view. But your head was already filled, and there was still some hidden anger at him for telling your friends about your plans, and hiding many plans from you.

It felt like you had to tell him everything that goes inside your head, and every step you take you must inform him first. But he could just go on and do whatever the hell he wanted, and he expects you to still follow him obediently. 

Your eyebrows connected first, then you scoffed as you glared at him, “What right gives you to tell me what to do?”

“My concern of you.”

“I can take care of my fucking self!” you yelled, unwilling for your voice to be so loud, but you were so bothered you didn’t care.

“Don’t shout.” He calmly ordered. You scoffed out in more frustration as you shook your head, and opened your mouth to speak but he beat you to it, “Everyone else is sleeping.”

“I just can’t believe you think you can hide things from me, but god forbid I think for myself once. How the hell is that fair?”

“This has nothing to do with our discussion, but while we’re at it do you even want to become an Auror, or did you just choose this path because Professor Merrythough chose it for you?” He argued back, still calm and on your nerves. His words pinched something within you, and you only stared at him in disbelief while he continued, “I’m just saying you should think things through. You’re easily driven by emotions.”

His words left you flabbergasted, that all you could do was stare at him quietly as you blinked in shock.  Is this why he doesn’t trust you to tell you everything?

Then you shake your head and whisper defeatedly, “I can’t believe you sometimes.” Your eyes are burning at his hurtful words, the tears are threatening to come.

“You can’t possibly be angry that I’m asking you to stay.” He tells you softly, taking two steps closer to you as you take the same steps back from him. He glances at your feet and doesn’t attempt to lessen the distance between you two, he then says, “Something else is bothering you, tell me.”

“You told me not to tell anyone, then you went behind me and told our friends anyway. You’re hiding so many things from me, Tom, but you can’t fathom the idea that I act on my own without consulting you first.”

“This again?” You can tell he’s trying so hard not to roll his eyes, but he only says with dramatic exhaustion. 

“Yes, this again, I’m clearly angry about it. Why do you hide things from me? Do you not trust me or something?” You then take the two steps you stepped back, and you hope he doesn’t step back. He doesn’t, he only stares at you, your eyes wide and confused and tearful, “Is it because I’m driven by emotion? Just…Why?”

Your eyes fog as you look at him with all the confusion in this world. 

This Tom Riddle is different than your best friend from your childhood, this one is so different you can’t ever read him and figure him out. He’s the biggest enigma there is in your universe.

Tom blinks at you with surprise, “What?” he then takes a step closer to you, his hands raised to hold your hands but he quickly changes his mind, unable to predict your reaction if he did. You’re just so different from back then, so different he can’t figure you out. 

“You couldn’t be more wrong to not see the truth,” he states, as your eyes glimmer at him and you’re holding onto every word that comes out of his mouth, he finally gets the courage to cup your warm face in his hands.

You feel so incredible he thinks even if he dies right now he will die a happy man, he will go away with grace. “You’re the only person I trust blindly and fully in this world, the only one.” He firmly says, and the finality in his tone doesn’t bother you anymore. 

The butterflies in your stomach start fluttering their wings foolishly again, his hands are big and slightly rough to your cheeks but he still feels so good you won’t dare to pull away. “Do you understand?” he asks, eyes going wild and looking for any kind of hesitance in your face.

There’s none, and so he believes you when you nod at him. 

Tom doesn’t take his hand back to himself, he keeps them on your face, he wants to savor the feeling of your skin just for a little more, to have you looking at him and only him with that look. His heart beats so fast, and he almost can’t think for himself anymore.

Not when you look so beautiful like that, not when he can feel the warmth of your face and the way your breath fans his hands. 

He can’t control himself when he leans in to press his lips against yours in a passionate kiss. Although, he isn’t bothered by the lack of control over his actions. Not when your kiss feels like heaven plucked from its spot within the sky, to be placed on earth for no one else but Tom.

Chapter Text

Nothing in this world could’ve prepared you for Tom kissing you. 

Shocked couldn’t even describe how you felt, but you also couldn’t neglect the relief that overcame your chest. You no longer had any hesitation for Tom’s real feelings, you were certain of your feelings too. When Tom finally realizes what he’s done, and that you’re actually frozen, he tries to pull back.

Except you push him back against you, with your arms around his neck and pulling him to you. He lets out a surprised sound, but he doesn’t seem to be complaining. Not when you kiss him back with as many feelings as he delivers to you.

His warm palms cover your face, and he pulls you into his lips. His touches are mesmerizing, especially when a hand leaves your face to situate in the dip of your waist. It leaves a burning sensation on your face at the loss of the warmth, and another at the contact of warmth on your waist. 

He breaks the kiss shortly to suck in a gasp of breath, then kisses you again. You try to match his pace and his feelings, but it almost gets overwhelming. Not when you miss him so much, your hand grasps a fist of hair locks, and you feel the softness of it. 

The roughness of his hands pulls another gasp from you when his brazen hands slip under your shirt and massage your skin.

Your lungs tighten, and that’s the only reason you pull away. You’re too afraid to even think about the aftermath of your kiss, he seems to be the same, that you both just stare at each other. He’s anxious just as you are. 

You’re thankful when he closes his eyes as you feel like you have no power in you to keep getting pulled into the same enchanting forest that was Tom Marvolo Riddle’s eyes. Not when you’re anxious. You know how he feels about you, but you can never predict his next actions. 

You’re both quiet until he breaks the silence and opens his eyes to gaze at you, “Do you understand now?”

You blink with confusion at him, before he repeats, “How much I trust you and how much you mean to me?” Your face is hot, and you’re tongue-tied all you’re able to do is nod your head and look at him. He’s kind and gentle in the way he looks back at you.

“Next time don’t keep me in the dark, I want to know everything you’re thinking of too,” you tell him. 

“Do you truly want to know about that? Will you like everything I’m thinking of?” he asks, you almost want to immediately nod and offer him the solace he needs in order to uncover his mind to you. But you’re hesitant to answer him. 

Tom isn’t just anyone. The ideas he tells you normally, you oppose them mostly. 

But you want to please him, you want him to know how much you care about him and respect his thoughts and opinions. After all, he did tell you it’s all for you two. The power his eyes hold as they watch the wheels turn inside your head is so intense, so it almost comes easy to you how you answer, “Even if I won’t like it, I will follow you anyways.”

The corners of his lips lift in a smile, and then the apples of his cheeks change colour to a hint of rosy, “Will you really do that?” he directs the question mostly to himself, “I mean, you’re so desperate to leave Hogwarts.”

“Rightfully so, can’t you see how every living day is a struggle for me?” you ask in a whisper, “Do you want me to stay?”

“You know I want you to, but you’re just so keen on leaving.” He says. “I will stay, on the condition you tell me everything that you’re thinking of and doing.” You retort. Tom opens his mouth to speak, but you cut him, “I’m so sick of continuously being led in the dark, Don’t be like them.”

“Them?” he frowns, knowing exactly who you’re talking about but he only feigns ignorance to make sure you’re truthful to your comparison. “Yes, Tom, them. That group I was with.”

His features tighten, he doesn’t say anything but only raises his head and continues to stare at you. 

You feel tiny in this gaze, but you still hold your place. 

He sighs and tucks a hair strand behind your ear, “of course.” You still find some doubt in your heart, but you decide to let it go. You want to let it go.

Frankly, you’re tired of continuously fighting with Tom, and seeming like all you do is nag at him. You don’t want to be some exhausted soul continuously asking him for more because he isn’t giving you enough. 

Sharing a silent gaze with Tom makes him pull you against him again, braver to kiss you and you kiss him back with no hesitation and shock this time. He still has a warm hand covering your left cheek, and another underneath your shirt over your smooth skin.

“I have waited for this moment for so long…” he whispers, and it’s oddly silent as you take in the way his tone shakes with his words, his breathing, and you are certain if you focus hard enough you could hear his his racing heartbeat.

“All I wanted to say when I finally see you is how much I have missed you. How much I spent every single day of my life thinking about you.” He tells you.

Your breath hitches in your throat, and your face is so warm you think you caught a fever. He presses a hungry kiss on your lips, then another greedy one on the edge of your mouth. He’s so intense that you feel physically weak in your legs.

“Instead I saw you opening the chamber of secrets.” You joke, trying so hard to lighten up the intense atmosphere or you would simply melt like butter from his touches, his kisses, his gaze, his words, his scent, his everything.

He exhales a chuckle, you smile at making him laugh and he kisses you playfully on your mouth and you share it. Tom pulls away to say, “I was going to confront you on our first meeting, about everything, but you acted like you didn’t know me.”

You roll your eyes, he pinches your waist at that. Goosebumps form at that touch, but you continue to say as if it didn’t have a deep effect on you, “I wasn’t acting, I actually didn’t remember.”

“I’m aware. You continued to treat me like the scum of earth.”

“Because you treated me horribly too.” You argue, he gives up, or you think he does because he kisses the underside of your jaw and you pretend as if the kiss there doesn’t send electricity throughout your body. 

When you try to kiss him back, he pulls back and says, “While we’re saying things that bother us, can I share my piece?” he asks. You jokingly glare at him, “Isn’t that what you always do?” but you allow him to speak.

“You’re way too close to Abraxas, and that Gryffindor boy too.”

“Abraxas is my best friend. Of course, I would be close to him.” You say in the matter-of-fact tone that gets perfectly fine on Tom’s nerves.

“You know I don’t mean it like that.” He tells you, “I mean, what do you think when you see him?”

“A sensitive fool who’s my best friend whom I love so much.” You instantly say. Tom tightens his gaze doubtfully at you for long seconds before shaking his head and nods, “All right. And that Gryffindor boy?”

“Malcolm?” you ask, just wanting to make sure as you know Tom knows Malcolm but you’re confused as to why he refuses to say his name. “Don’t say his name.” He orders, but adds quickly, “But yes, him.”

“He’s also a friend.”

“Who has a crush on you.” He elaborates, and you quickly shake your head, “he doesn’t.”

“He does, everyone knows it, it’s clear as day. So, what do you think of him?” your heart skips a beat when you realise the meaning of his questions. He’s jealous. Tom Marvolo Riddle is jealous that someone else might come and steal you right from his fingers.

It won’t happen, you know for sure. Not when your heart is beating so fast in sync with his, not when each caress on your body and every greedy kiss on your lips and jaw renders you powerless. Tom is not aware of his effect on you.

Just before your arms could circle his neck to reassure him that he has absolutely no one to worry about, the door knocks and you jump away from him, his hold around your waist stabilizes you not to pull back too far.

“(Y/N)?” the faint voice calling belongs to Abraxas, and you can hear Walburga saying next, “Are you awake?”

You frantically look around, thinking of any way to kick out Tom before your friends enter the room and find you two together. All you’re thinking of as your heart’s racing with panic, what would your friends think? Worse, what would Orion think?

“You can’t possibly be thinking to hide me.” Tom says with a raised eyebrow, you instantly nod your head and hiss, “Yes I’m thinking of hiding you! What would they think?” Then you try to pull his arm to make him hide inside the closet, except his feet were planted on the floor.

“I do not care what they think. Hiding? You wish to humiliate me.” he says, still persistent.

Your friends don’t wait too long to open the door after knocking, and you give up and stand in front of them with a blazing face and guilt-ridden features. 

Abraxas and Walburga blink with surprise when they find Tom’s imposing figure in your bedroom. Nothing is exchanged, until you verbally push Tom outside your room, “Oh right, Tom, you were just about to leave.”

Tom gives you a side glare before quietly walking out of your room. The door shuts behind him, and you try to rake your brain for excuses and white lies to tell your friends.

Before you're able to open your mouth to sprout a lie, Walburga beats you to it, she’s smiling as she asks, “Was Tom asking you to stay?” Abraxas grins as he pulls your hand and Walburga before flopping onto your bed and dragging you both with him, “This is good, means we have Tom on our side to convince you to stay.”

“I wasn’t planning to leave anyways, it’s just early graduation.” You say, then you claim your spot by fluffing the pillow only for it to be stolen by a giddy Walburga, “We know, it’s just you know this is the way all friends drift apart.”

Abraxas nods, “It’s true, we’re gonna have to schedule meetings because we’re so busy and then slowly one of us will start cancelling because apparently life got in the way and then our daily letters will turn into annual letters in Christmas then none at all,” he stops to gather more words and breath, you and Walburga quietly listen to him, “that’s how it has always been.”

“I saw it in my mum, in Alphard with his friends,” Walburga says, “I don’t want that to happen to us.”

“It won’t happen to us, especially with Tom’s shady plans.” You say they both giggle before Walburga corrects you, “Our shady plans, you’re with us too, right?”

“Right.”

Abraxas and Walburga take their respectable sides of the large bed, and you squeeze yourself between them both before you shut the lights. This time, the door doesn’t knock as Nancy swings the door hastily and her hair is a complete mess which is unlike her. 

She’s breathing heavily and is clearly dishevelled, she doesn’t seem surprised to find Walburga and Abraxas in your bedroom. She only shuffles to the foot of the bed and says harshly, “I know I was the one that suggested the idea, but I thought about it and I don’t want you to go just yet,” you open your mouth to speak but she interrupts you, “I mean, why to rush it when we’re all going to graduate soon? Just stay this year so you and Walburga can graduate together and we can have some time together.”

You try to speak, and she cuts you again, “I’m sorry for giving you the idea, and being the one that stands in your way.”

“Can I speak, Nancy?” you ask, as Walburga and Abraxas giggle quietly at Nancy’s dishevelled state. She was clearly overthinking about it too much, just like you all were. You only see the formation of her head moving, you can’t see her clearly as it’s dark in your room. 

“I thought about it, and truly thank you for the opportunity but I don’t want to go just yet. I mean I did the most to come to Hogwarts to be with Tom, and I found you guys as well. So, I’m not leaving just yet.” 

Nancy lets out a breath you didn’t know she was holding. She nods again, and then demands in her usual firm tone, “Make space for me too.” She doesn’t give you all enough time to shuffle to give her space, because she flops her body over you and Abraxas.

You all scream in pain at the contact and the harshness of her drop, but then your pain turns into laughter that is not silenced and only gets louder as you all joke about it some more. The laughter doesn’t die at all inside your dark room, it’s very tight in your bed and it gets so hot during the night that your limps get sticky from the moisture collecting on the back of your knees and neck.

But you still love it all and are so grateful for your friends. The warmth and the laughter continue until the dark dusk is broken by the first bright rays of the dawn.

“(Y/N).” Aisha calls you with a smile, you run to her and embrace her as her fingers gently tug on your braid, you grin back as you look at her. “Emily tells me you’re doing the very best in your studies.” you nod your head, so she adds, “This pleases me very much. Also, you stopped making mistakes in your training.”

“I don’t want to be locked anymore.” You casually comment, too desensitized about the concept of being locked for making a few mistakes during training, that getting thrown in a closet with a boggart was something ordinary and something you deserved.

“Good girl. Because I don’t want to lock you as well. It hurts me to lock you.” Aisha comments, you sense Emily behind Aisha looking away as her jaw tenses. It’s confusing, but you don’t dig too much about it as Aisha strokes your head softly, and you take up every drop of affection she offers you like a dry sponge.

“So, after I mulled it over I thought that you need to be rewarded for all your spectacular hard work.” She speaks slowly, but your heart is already beating so fast, and the meaning behind her words. “You will go to the town with Oliver and Canna, you can buy anything you wish with your allowance. Just don’t run far away from Oliver.”

You quickly nodded, and then she ushered you to get ready, “Now go and wear your shoes! They’re leaving in five minutes.” 

Not a second was wasted or another word needed to be said, you ran to your shared room with your sister. You found Canna staring at her reflection in the mirror as she fixed her cape. “I’m so happy that you will come with us this time, you will love the town.”

“Oh I know I will love the town, just hearing your stories about it makes me so ecstatic,” you say as you force your feet inside your shoes, Canna giggles a little before turning around and taking your own cape from the closet and helping you wear it. 

“Did I not tell you that behaving and hard work will get you the rewards you deserve? Also, you no longer will get nightmares since you won’t be locked anymore.” She tells you, then takes a hairbrush and some homemade wax to fix your edges gently.

“I did try my best back then, Canna, I just don’t understand why it wasn’t enough,” you whisper, content in sharing your secretive thought with your sister, as you knew if Aisha heard you say that she would lock you in the boggart room for days.

Canna sighs, “Aisha expects so much from us, so it’s only natural that she wants you to work extra hard. But what I don’t understand is how I never hear a monster howls when you’re in the boggart closet,” she then raises a curious eyebrow at you, “I can’t hear anything, but you cry so hard and you get nightmares…” you can see her question coming from a million kilometres away, “Just…what’s your boggart, sister?”

You shake your head, “not telling you.”

“I will tell you mine if you tell me yours.” she smiles, then stretches her hand so you can hold it as she takes you to the vanity so you pick out a ribbon to tie your braids with. “I don’t want to tell you, it’s private.”

“There’s no privacy between us, we’re sisters,” she says firmly. “If you wish to know, my boggart usually varies from your corpse to a troll.”

“My corpse?” you say with a hint of amusement, then point at an emerald green ribbon, Canna takes it and ties the end of your braid with it, she hums in acknowledgement at your words, “Of course, you’re my younger sister. I fear for your life more than I fear for mine.”

You stare quietly at her reflection, and all of a sudden you’re feeling way too guilty at your boggart. 

“So, won’t you tell me what’s your boggart?” she presses one last time, and you force a pale smile before saying, “Never.”

She gives up with a sigh and then pulls you from your hand out of your shared bedroom, and walks to Oliver who’s waiting for you both in the yard and by the large imposing metal gate. “Is Emily coming?” you ask once you approach the man.

He only shakes his head and gets out of the large enchanted metal gate. You feel heavy stares in the back of your head, you turn around just in time to see Emily staring at you with tearful eyes. The tears catch you off-guard, and you wish to approach her to ease her sadness but Canna’s firm hold on your wrist pulls you behind her through the gate.

The next morning, you’re the last one to wake up and you only do as Nancy pulls the curtains and allows the harsh sunlight to infiltrate the bedroom. You try to cover your face, but it’s Walburga’s turn to pull the blanket away from your body. 

“Wake up! It’s about to be noon, and we’re in desperate need to do some shopping!” Walburga shouts, and you know she doesn’t have to worry about anyone reprimanding her for shouting. It’s the Malfoy manor, and you know your friends feel most comfortable in more than their own homes. 

Natalia Malfoy doesn’t comment on anything, she can only be seen giggling when she hears a joke from you or your friends, sometimes she joins during food times but not all the time as she nurses a drink. She likes to take naps in the foyer, with a copy of Witch Weekly open on her lap.

You give up on trying to fight off Walburga’s firm hold on the blanket, so you let go and she stumbles back a bit before smiling widely when you pull yourself from the messy bed. 

“When did you wake up?” you ask, cracking your limps and searching for your slippers. 

“About two hours ago, and we were so loud in your room but you’re such a deep sleeper. It’s fascinating.” Nancy answers, you wish to tell her that you’re a very light sleeper, but you feel so safe around them that you can’t help but find yourself in a deep slumber.

“Now get dressed, we’re going to Diagon Alley,” Nancy answers, opening the closet and tossing you some change of clothes. “Hurry up please, Diagon Alley gets a bit overcrowded during the afternoon and it gets unbearable,” Walburga says.

You hear them shuffle out of your room, and you get ready relatively fast. Instead of manually doing your hair, you tap your wand there to fix everything up and you race down the stairs to reach the sitting room. Everyone is dressed, and seeming like they were waiting for you.

“Finally, I was starting to suspect you died in your sleep.” Orion comments, Nancy stifles a laugh. You roll your eyes at him and approach Abraxas who is sitting on the sofa beside Walburga. 

“I’m alive, thank you very much,” you comment as Orion lightly sighs and stands up before approaching the fireplace. You then stare at Abraxas and greet him with a silent smile, he smiles back and waits for everyone else to use the fireplace.

Once Orion, Nancy, and Walburga use the fireplace to relocate to Diagon Alley, Abraxas whispers, “I know what happened between you and Tom.” your face heats, and you catch a glimpse of Tom who finally stands up and approaches the fireplace. “Walburga doesn’t know, she suspects it but I know.”

“How do you know?” you find yourself asking, “I just know.” Abraxas says back with a playful grin, you slap his shoulder, “Abraxas, if you utter another word about this I shall simply wither away from embarrassment.”

He raises his hand in surrender, “Hey, I’m just an observer plus I heard some whisperings from the house elves, as well as my mother’s speculations.”

“House-elves? Mother?” you repeat in horror. Abraxas' face lightens up, “My mother has been suspecting that something is going on between you and Tom, and so have I to be honest but my speculations were confirmed last night.”

Your face is so hot, and you’re so embarrassed, especially as Abraxas is laughing and Tom is staring at you both with a confused frown. “You two are going to Diagon Alley, are you not?”

“Of course we are,” Abraxas says, pulling you behind him as you watch Orion prepare the floo powder. 

“Aren’t we having breakfast first?” you ask a little loudly, trying to change the topic as you sense Abraxas has some sort of a witty joke to tell Tom in order to embarrass him. Orion glances at you, then takes a handful of floo powder before standing in the fireplace. 

“We’ll have it there, now stop talking with Abraxas and come along.” He says, then tosses the floo powder before chanting Diagon Alley. Abraxas gestures for Tom to go first, but Tom only pushes the floo powder pot to Abraxas.

The blond glances at you, then smiles as he says, “If you wanted to spend a few more minutes in private with your girlfriend then you could just say so,” Your face heats up as Tom stares coldly at Abraxas, the blond smirks before taking a handful of the floo powder, wiggling his eyebrows at you before also throwing the powder and disappearing to Diagon Alley.

Tom stares at you quietly, your face still hot as you shake your head at Tom, “I swear I haven’t told him.”

He exhales and shakes his head, “That’s not it. If you want to tell them you can. I’m just wondering if we would get treated like this by the rest of our friends for the rest of our lives.”

You giggle as Tom's lips lift in a smile for making you laugh, “Well, I didn’t tell them, and I wasn’t going to because I didn’t know I was your girlfriend.” You say as Tom’s blush deepens, and you feel light and fuzzy at its prominent presence on his face. 

He throws you a playful glare, and you shrug your shoulders, “what?! I’m right, aren’t I?”

“I don’t know what are the steps you consider should be taken to qualify as a…relationship, but I don’t normally show affection like that to strangers or friends.” He says, and you watch him set the floo powder with slight confusion. His words render you silent, and you focus on trying to manage the burning sensation on your cheeks and the back of your neck.

He holds your hand, and says, “There’s no way we’ll be using floo powder to get there, it’s entirely too primitive.” he comments the last words under his breath, and you feel the warmth of his hands seeping into your skin. As well as his proximity radiating his natural warmth to your bodice. 

You naturally pull yourself to him, and rest your other hand on his forearm to become more closer to him. You swear his breath hitches, but you aren’t able to dwell on it when he apparates you both to Diagon Alley.

Your world spins fast in all directions, and then your feet steady on the uneven cobblestones of Diagon Alley. It’s crowded as usual, and you let go of Tom’s hand, in fear your friends would catch you.

While you don’t mind them knowing, you didn’t want Orion to know. To hurt his feelings. So the solution for now is to at least not act differently and in ways you wouldn’t act like you would before. Although his hold on your hand is stubborn. You share a certain look, silently asking him if he’s in his right mind to be holding your hand in such a crowded place.

Where people from your school could see, and most importantly, your friends.

He’s looking at you with furrowed eyebrows, but you quickly resist his hold when you hear the familiar call of your name coming from Walburga’s loud voice. 

“(Y/N)!” she calls, beckoning you both to enter The Leaky Cauldron. You both do and enter the door and are instantly greeted by the dimmed lights of the place.

She directs you all towards the table your friends took for themselves, and when you do you take one of the empty seats next to Abraxas. Tom follows you and takes the adjacent seat to yours, opposite Walburga who’s sat next to Nancy and Orion.

“You two didn’t use floo powder,” Nancy notes, inspecting the lack of ash on your face. You shake your head, “We apparated.”

“I should’ve done that too, and made the rest of the clueless ones use floo powder.” Walburga commented with faux sadness, “ruined my outfit just in hopes of being loyal.” You and Abraxas laugh when Nancy kicks her underneath the table.

“You’re impossible, you know that right?” Orion glares at Walburga, who sticks out her tongue.

“Right, we were discussing our plans for today.” Abraxas changes the topic, to which Orion claps his hands at, “We were talking about your desperate need to try the ice cream—”

“(Y/N)?” you hear a very familiar unfamiliar voice calling your name, you turn your head to the side as your eyes fall on your supposed ‘father’ standing there. Zane looked surprised at seeing you here, and even more surprised at your company. 

You stand up, and watch him with equally shocked stares, if not more, and then you force out a, “Dad? What are you doing here?” Your friends exchange looks at your words.

Zane glances at them, and tells you, “I’m just here to have lunch, what are you doing here?” he throws the question back to you.

“So are we,” you answer, pointing with your head to your friends. Zane smiles as you introduce him to your friends, they’re all watching him warily and you know just what’s going inside their heads as they watch you call Zane your father.

They all knew he wasn’t your father, and that he was simply the Auror that helped you run away.

To your surprise, Abraxas stood up and smiled at him, “It’s very nice to finally meet you, Mr. (L/N).”

“Please, just call me Zane.” he insists, and watches with confusion as Nancy stands up from her seat and insists he sits at your table, “please have a seat, sir, you will have lunch with us.”

“Yes, please do!” Abraxas says, then he stands up and points at Zane to sit there.

Zane looked hesitant and kept looking at you with inquisitive stares. You simply painted it as them wanting to be polite, but when Orion joined them in insisting you knew that wasn’t the case. While yes, your friends were raised on being polite and acted so their whole lives, you could tell this time it was for a benefit for them.

Even you were confused to why your friends insisted on him joining you, still, you nodded at Zane and pointed at the chair next to you. 

“Come, please sit.” you said, and then neatly pressed the behind of your skirt so you could sit down.

Zane lingered standing for a few seconds, but then sat down. You imagined an awkward silence would envelope the table, but that wasn’t the case at all.

It’s Walburga that starts the conversation with, “You’re awfully young to look like a father, Mister.” her words might seem accusatory and suspicious if it wasn’t for her charming smile and tone. Zane gingerly laughs, and Orion notes, “since you’re here, we could finally know more about (Y/N)’s past, since she haven’t got a clue, bless her.”

That’s when you realize they were doing all of that to know more about Zane, to assess if he really is a trust-worthy person, to see if he would toss you back to Dumbledore with no hesitation if your plans came to the light.

If he could protect you if something happened to you.

“Does the past truly matter anymore?” Zane responds, distracting himself by taking a gulpful of whatever’s the contents of his goblet. You glare at Orion, gesturing with your eyes for him to stop making Zane feel uncomfortable.

However, if it wasn’t Orion that’s making Zane uncomfortable then it’s the rest of your friends. 

It’s Abraxas’ turn to say, “I was told you’re an Auror, but I didn’t hear from my father anything about a new Auror.” 

“You’re Malfoy’s son, right?” Zane asks, and the blond boy nods as Zane adds, “the ministry is very big, I doubt he would know me, that and the fact I rarely even go to the headquarters, I’m mostly out trying to hunt Grindelwald’s followers.”

It’s quiet on the table when the server comes and sets plates in front of you all. Tom quietly pulls the mug of green tea that was set before you, and exchanges it with a cup of water that you flash your grin at him. Grateful that he still remembers your distaste for green tea.

“I didn’t know you had nice friends, not since you sent me that letter asking to transfer schools.” Zane comments, glancing between you and Tom and then around the table. 

Tom’s shoulder tense at the mention of transferring schools. 

“Transferring schools, and to early graduation, it’s like you don’t want to stay with us.” Walburga says, rolling her eyes playfully at you. 

Your shoulders shake with shock when you feel a warm hand pressed to the back of your hand, you look down to your hand on your lab and find Tom holding your left hand. Your face burns, and when you glance at Tom you find the tips of his ears are red. 

A wave of fondness for him washes over you for Tom, then you turn your hand and intertwine your fingers together.

“Her decision making is solely driven by those distasteful mud—” Abraxas interrupts his own speech at the word then quickly adds on the same wave, “muggle-borns.”

“Yes, Professor Dumbledore did mention about such events.” Zane says with a nod, his words make Nancy quip, “then why is he pretending not to notice such things when they harm (Y/N),” then she shakes her head as she bravely says, “he’s so wishy-washy with his strange views. No wonder everyone in my lineage despises him.”

Zane chuckles, “I wish to say your words aren’t correct, but they’re spot-on.” 

“Let’s not talk about such upsetting matters,” you demand, then you grin as you ask Zane, “Instead, why don’t you tell us about the most experiences from your work?”

“She wants to be an Auror.” Abraxas says as he’s chewing.

“Is that so?” Zane turns to stare at you with wide eyes, you feel your face grow hot from embarrassment as you nod.

“Well then, I suppose I must prepare you for what to expect. I think one of the most shocking experiences is…” Zane’s words trail to the back of your mind when Tom squeezes your hand a little, you find his bright eyes staring at you and there’s a hint of a genuine smile on his lips.

You’re happy too, the normality of this day is drowning you with happiness. Holding hands with Tom, smiling at each other, your friends’ laughter, even including Abraxas’ teasing you when he catches you and Tom staring at each other more than once.

An hour passes since you finish lunch, then Zane leaves you claiming he has work. You and your friends remain in the same table, but when Zane leaves Abraxas relocates to his chair. He teases you briefly when he sees your and Tom’s fingers are intertwined together, and you roll your eyes at him with a grin and a hot face. and the desert rolls in.

Nancy insists on desert, but you don’t have a place for desert and only resolve to share a panna cotta with Abraxas who also feels full too.

Then when you’re all able to move, you notice two hours passed and Diagon Alley grows more crowded with each passing minute. 

“It’s so crowded, we have to leave London and go somewhere more—” you barely hear Walburga’s words as she exits the Leaky Cauldron. Diagon Alley is buzzing with noisiness, you don’t even catch her words. You try to focus on what she’s saying but give up when all you can decipher is the crowd noise. 

Pressing your body against the crowd to keep up with your friends, you lose your balance when one of your shoelaces came undone, you groan as you crouch and tie them up. When you’re finished, you look up, finding your friends are all dispersing into different directions. 

Abraxas and Nancy head to the Menagerie, Walburga to Flourish and Blotts, Orion to Madam Malkin. So you quickly conclude that they all left to get the things they had to for school. You search around for Tom, and find him heading to Knockturn Alley. 

You look around you, unable to decide where to go first to get your school supplies. You needed new cauldrons, yours are all burnt. But where do you get cauldrons? You read the names of the shops. 

Then the ground shaking, and the crowd screaming infiltrate your world. 

Amidst the chaos and confusion, your mind races to make sense of the events unfolding. The scene before you feels like a nightmare, and you can't shake off the ominous feeling that this is just the beginning. “Grindelwald! He’s here!” different voices shout the same phrase over and over again. Your heart is racing with anxiety. 

All you can see is smoke, the smell infiltrates your nose and it reaches your head in a pounding headache. Everyone is screaming and running past you, in a desperate attempt to keep yourself upright you hold onto the cobblestoned wall behind you. 

You don’t shut your eyes no matter how hard you want to, you have to find your friends, you must find Tom. Except the running crowd isn’t helping you at all. It’s actually hordes of people running past each other. 

You swear you could see Tom’s figure walking to Knockturn Alley. You’re confused, but you store that information for later and decide you will instantly follow him once the crowd lessens a little.

Some apparate, but mostly are running as they’re holding the hands of their family members. You watch the scene unfold beneath your vision, and you can hear the painful screams of people as they’re getting tortured.

You don’t understand what’s entirely happening, but from the shouting of the crowd, you think you know. Grindelwald is here. His army is attacking the people here. You’re so confused at their presence, Tom had told you that Grindelwald is looking for the elder wand.

What would bring him to Diagon Alley? Surely he should be searching for it in more productive spots.

Except your eyes fall on Ollivander’s wandshop. You know none of your friends would be there, they’re not stupid enough to face Grindelwald. So you take a few steps back and head down to Knockturn Alley, where you last saw Tom head into.

The crowd lessens as you run opposite to the tide of the people, you run blindly and as fast as you can. You bump into people, but you quickly regain your balance and continue your running. 

As you’re running full force down the stairs of Knockturn Alley, your wrist is held firmly and it makes you stumble back and stop your actions. You almost lose balance but the hand that’s holding your wrist stabilizes your body, you make a sharp intense eye contact with Orion.

“Why in the world are you running that way when you should be running this way?!” he shouts, pulling you behind him but you fight his hold and manage to free your wrist. 

“I saw Tom going that way, I need to find him!” you scream. 

“Tom probably apparated back to the Malfoy Manor, he was with me but then he disappeared with the crowd,” Orion says dismissively, “now come on, we have to get out of here and relocate out on the streets, the muggles probably think this is an attack from another country.”

He tries to hold your hand again, but you pull yourself away and shake your head, “look, I’m certain Tom is still down, you know how he is!” Orion opens his mouth and attempts once again to stop you, but you take three steps down the stairs, “I will find him and we will apparate to Malfoy Manor right away, we’ll see you there!”

As you resume your previous destination, from your peripheral you catch Tom circling the furthest southern stairs of Knockturn Alley. It’s empty, and it only has you and Tom. You don’t waste another second heading towards Tom. 

“Tom! Wait! It’s me!” you shout when you finally catch his back. He turns to look at you, and you sigh in relief when you dive into his mesmerizing emerald-green eyes. You drop your body over him, your arms circling his neck as you bring him into a short tight embrace. 

“We must go, we have to.” you insist, pulling away and staring at him for any sort of reaction. “Are you alright? Why did you come here?”

“I’m okay.” he shortly answered, pushing your hold off him. The gesture leaves you raising a confused eyebrow, but you don’t dwell on it much. 

“What do you think we should do with Grindelwald, should we send him to Dumbledore?” He asks, and your confusion only raises. You watch him with suspicion, there’s a heavy feeling in the pit of your stomach, your guts crying at you that this is not ordinary.

You get this sense of deja vu the longer you stare at him, like that moment when Tom disguised himself as Orion using polyjuice potion. You aren’t sure of your theory, but you want to test it.

“What are you talking about, Tom?” you tilt your head to the side, “we haven’t even discussed anything yet.” 

Your suspicions are proved correct when this supposed Tom nods, and you’re aware of it and no longer feel it in your guts. This was not Tom. You take a few steps back, getting yourself ready to apparate somewhere else into Diagon Alley to find the actual Tom. 

But how did this person even manage to get a hair strand from Tom? What if they captured him, and this is why you couldn’t find him earlier since the chaos? With that information in the forefront of your mind, you remain calm and paint the world’s most indifferent mask on your features.

“We have to head back to Abraxas’ place.” You say.

The person shakes their head, and a smirk breaks their features as they watch you. Tom’s features are breaking into someone you would never suspect. The last person on your list.

“You’ve always been a clever girl, haven’t you?” Dumbledore says calmly, then takes a wide step to you and his figure towers over yours. 

“Where is Tom?” you demand. “If you tell me of his whereabouts I wouldn’t scream and let everyone come here.”

“Everyone? They all escaped to protect themselves, even your good Tom that you so want to protect.” Your heart drops at his words, but you refuse to believe him.

Tom wouldn’t do that, he would never. 

“Plus even if someone did come, they would merely see it as a professor trying to rescue his student.” Dumbledore says, taking a hold of your wrist, his hold is harsh and it makes your eyes fog with tears.

“You’ve met with Grindelwald, I know it. Tell me of everything that happened.” He insisted roughly, you try to resist his hold as your heart is pounding with fear. 

“Or what, old man?” you daunt, still trying to make him let go of your wrist. 

Your heart is pounding faster and with relief when you hear your friends shouting your name, the echo of their voices calling your name reach your ears and you’re so relieved and grateful. You almost want to let a sigh of relief but one look in Dumbeldore’s gaze makes you realize that he wasn’t planning to give up on his investigation anytime soon.

The more their voices came closer to where you’re standing, you could even see a hint of Abraxas’ bright blonde hair dazzling against the dimmed streets of KnockTurn Alley. In a snap, Dumbledore disappears and pulls you with him.

Chapter Text

You thrash around so much that your captor immobilises your movement, you can’t even scream as even your vocal cords were immobilised. You only stare with wide eyes as Dumbledore ties you to a chair, you hope your hateful looks convey exactly how you feel and if given the choice you will absolutely kill him.

When he swishes his wand, you’re able to speak but the first thing you do is scream so loud you hurt your own eardrums too. He hexes your mouth shut, and then says with a sigh, “Miss (Y/N), you’re a smart girl, I’m only here to ask you a few questions but once I’m done I will let you get back to your friends.”

There’s still a visible angry glare on your eyes that makes him add, “I know hurting you won’t do much, so I will have to resort to old tricks and tell you that I will hurt your friends instead,” that removes your angry look instantly, it’s wiped away with concern that satisfies him, “now, if I allow you to speak you will answer me clearly and honestly because if you don’t I will hurt each of your friends.”

His words aren’t a threat, that much you can tell, it’s a promise. 

So, when he counterspells the hex, your lips are glued shut and all you’re able to do is dig your nails harshly into your palm, cursing yourself for even getting caught.

You’re just grateful that Tom and your friends are safe and sound, possibly still looking for you. All Dumbledore wants are answers, and you would just give him information that won’t put your friends in danger.

“I heard you met up with Grindelwald, care to tell me what he asked you to do?” he asked calmly. 

“He didn’t ask me to do anything yet.” You answer honestly.

“I don’t know why I don’t believe you.” He says, and you let out an annoyed exhale, “He just told me to be on stand in case he needed my assistance.”

“You keep saying ‘my’ as if I don’t know that you and Tom both went to meet him.” Dumbledore said, possibly to scare you but you only scoffed as you shook your head, “And you keep saying that you heard, but you don’t see me asking about the mole.”

“I can tell you who’s the mole, it’s not like knowing about it would even make you run to Grindelwald and tell him.” Dumbledore stood up, pouring tea into a fine china teacup and extending one to you. 

He must be having the time of his life sipping on his tea, and placing one in front of you knowing that you won’t even be able to reach out for it with your binded body. Still, you frown at his words more than his actions and spit, “what the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“It means that you’re too much of a coward to do that, you will never betray her like that. Not again.” 

There’s a heavy realisation that dawns on your mind. But you still refuse to believe it, your frown deepens and you hope with all your might that you don’t look younger to him like you feel. Like a betrayed child. Is this how she felt when you fled Aisha’s group?

“Miss Canna told me everything I needed to know.” 

You hope your expression is opposite to how you feel, you look away when he looks to long at you. Gauging if you gained back your memories. 

You say firmly, “Who’s Canna?”

Dumbledore sighs with exhaustion, “Miss (Y/N) I hope you don’t take me for a fool, she told me you got your memories back. I don’t know how, but what’s important is that you got them anyway.” He says, then adds while you’re absorbing everything he’s telling you due to your shock, “Does she work for him? It’s all a facade, like you and Tom pretending to be perfect students and that you’re not working together.”

He lifts the fine china again, and you zone into its rosy pattern to distract yourself from your reality. 

“I know Tom is planning to do even more heinous things than Grindelwald. But since he’s more analytical, I know he will think it through and I know he will almost make it. I won’t let him, of course,” He takes a sip from the tea.

You hear the promise in his tone, “What do you want me to do?” you finally ask, looking at him.

“Disappear.” He simply says, you stare at him and wait for him to elaborate. 

“Grindelwald right now is my main concern, and when I defeat him. Like the prophecy said, I don't want to concern myself about you and Tom.” 

You aren’t even able to argue yourself out of this one. Dumbledore was aware of everything. He was going to stop you and Tom form your plans. While you didn’t care much for Tom’s plans, and only did it to be closer to him and because every breathing and waking moment of your life you just wanted to be reunited with him.

“You know, I’m elected to be the headmaster after Dippet retires, and he’s retiring this year.” Dumbledore adds.

After everything you did to be with Tom, now you’re told to be away from him.

There’s no question that Dumbledore would do the absolute most to hurt him. Tom was still vulnerable, he was a student at Hogwarts and you know that eventually Professor Dumbledore would be elected to be the headmaster because of how long he’s been teaching at Hogwarts and how well-liked he is. 

Maybe it will happen in a few months, maybe in a year or two. You were about to enter sixth year, so every single day till graduation for Tom would be a threat under Dumbledore when he becomes Headmaster.

You don’t want that for Tom. Just because he was associated with you. He lost everything just like you did, and Hogwarts means the world for him.

“Fine.” You say with tears fogging your eyes. 

“Perfect. I will tell Zane about our little talk, I’m sure he will arrange something for you to like your day silently.” Dumbledore says, standing up from his chair and then rounding the table to look down at you bound to your chair.

“Now tell me what is it that you’re going to do now?” He asks, with condescension vibrant and loud in his tone. 

“I will live as quietly as death.” You say, looking down. 

“You sure are a smart girl.” He says, then swishes his wand to let go of your bounds. Then he gestures at the dingy door of the questionable place he took you to, “now get going, do whatever you think is right.”

You almost want to scoff at his words. You think the right thing is to kill him right then and there. You were free, had your wand with you and you were strong enough to mutter an “Avada Kedavara” and flee the scene. 

But who knows how many people are working with him. If Canna joined him, means he had a respectful number since she always cared about self-preservation. If you managed to kill him, then who knows what they will do to your friends, to your Tom?

With slumped shoulders, you apparate away. 

You don’t instantly return to the Malfoy Manor, you had to free your heart of the heavy feelings which proved to be difficult. Even with time passing, you find yourself gaining more feelings and then exploding in a crying fit that then turns you numb. That’s when you took it as a sign to return to the Malfoy Manor.

Your hand only lifts to knock the door, but you don’t as it swings open and you’re first blinded by a bright blond head that brings you in a tight embrace along with a scream of your name.

“(Y/N)!” Abraxas’ arms are tight around your neck, and you’re so roughly pressed against his chest you feel all the oxygen sucked out of your body. 

It’s so stupid that even after everything was set perfectly for you to disappear silently, you still returned just to say goodbye. 

Abraxas pulls back, but before you could inhale a breath it’s Walburga and Nancy’s turn to bring you in a hug. 

“Where in the world did you go?! We searched everywhere for you!” The former shouts, and the latter pulls her away to allow you to walk past the threshold of the door and in the foyer. 

But your attention is stolen by all the decorations around the living room, it was decorations for someone’s birthday that much is clear. You storm your head to think if you missed any of your friends’ birthdays.

You quickly give up, knowing that that’s not the case. You point at the balloons as Orion is fussing with you about disappearing from Diagon Alley. 

“Who’s birthday is it?” you ask with confusion. 

Your friends exchange certain looks with each other, then the concern that was painted in their features is replaced by playfulness and happiness. As you’re observing the beautiful decorations in shades of pink and gold. 

Nancy opens her mouth to speak, but she’s cut when her eyes fall on a figure behind you. Naturally, you turn to look at what she’s looking at and you're surprised to find Tom. Seeming like he just apparated to the Malfoy Manor threshold.

He looks at you with wide eyes, and then takes long steps to approach you, his palms are heavy on your shoulders as he looks down on you to check you for any injuries. 

“Where were you? Where did you go?” he demands. The hold on your left shoulder is removed only for his palm to rest on your hot face, “Are you hurt?” 

There are butterflies going crazy in your tummy, your joints have gone all fuzzy, your face very hot, and your mouth all dry. Still, you’re so shocked at his actions, but you have the mind to look at your friends in panic, having wishful thinking that they wouldn’t figure out your relationship with Tom. He made it so obvious, it’s like he wanted them to know it.

You can’t read Orion’s features, but you can see the realisation in Walburga and Nancy’s eyes. The former smiles teasingly as she hides her mouth with her palm, the latter’s jaw is slack but her lips are lifted in a grin. 

Unable to look at their teasing smiles, you look into Tom’s forest-green eyes to get enchanted by them. 

“I’m not hurt, I’m okay.” You answer, Tom lets out a sigh of relief. You think you’re off the hook for now, but he inquires firmly, “where did you go? I searched everywhere, I even went to Saint Mungo’s.”

“Saint Mungo’s? What’s that?” you ask, looking down and hoping that he would get the message of how embarrassed you were at him freely touching you like this. 

“A hospital, I thought you went there.” He answered, then Abraxas added with a hint of teasing, just the right amount that only you would figure out because he was your best friend, “He was worried about you and that’s why he physically went there, even though my mother talked to them and they said they don’t have a patient with your name.”

You glance at him, and he shrugs his shoulders with a fake innocent smile. 

“I’m here now, that’s all that matters.” You say, taking a hold of Tom’s right hand on your cheek and his left hand on your shoulder. You gently let go of them as the embarrassment was too much. 

You didn’t mind being touched by your friends, but you couldn’t understand why if Tom did it then you would get so embarrassed. 

You don’t even understand how he could freely touch you like that. Everyone knew just how much he hated physical touch, there were many times that he slapped your friends’ hands when they touched him accidentally. 

So why was it so different with you? That prospect made your face even hotter. 

“Anyways, what’s with the decorations?” You ask, taking one step away from Tom as the embarrassment of him freely touching you got the best of you. He makes the distance smaller, his movement is small and minor but it’s effect is violent on you. 

“Who’s birthday do you think it is?” Abraxas responds with a roll of his eyes, you turn your confused gaze to your friends as you plead them to answer you. Nancy grins wide then approaches you, holding a golden tiara, she puts it over your hair gently as she grins, “yours, of course.” she answers.

Your heartbeat accelerates, and you feel like all the breath in your chest is knocked out. The burn in your eyes is distinct and familiar. In the blink of an eye, Walburga swishes her wand and the lights in the foyer are turned off, and swishes it again to light up the candles in the big chocolate cake that Orion holds and walks carefully to you.

“Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday to our lovely (Y/N)!” their singing is synchronised to your shock, and it almost makes you want to laugh that they’ve been practising this in your absence. Possibly Orion forcing them to do so after your failure in singing a perfect song in his own birthday party.

Your tears are fogging your vision, and though you thought that you have no more tears to shed. They come running down as you gasp and sob, only this time with a smile as you watch them all continue singing this song to you. 

Looking up to your right when you feel Tom holding your hand, he doesn’t sing with them but he is smiling fondly in a way that steals your breath away. Knowing that you want to keep this memory forever, you tighten your hold on his hand.

When the song finishes, you shut your eyes and join your hands together close to your heart as you wish that no harm will ever come to your friends, that they continue to be happy and healthy in your absence. You wish that Tom won’t miss you that much, you wish that he will get over your departure and forget about you soon.

In one last selfish wish, you wish that your new direction in life will be slightly kinder to you. 

Then you blow the candles and make a silent vow to cherish this moment forever, even when you're far away. As the flickering flames dance atop the cake, casting warm shadows across the room, you feel a sense of bittersweet joy settling in your heart.

Opening your eyes, you're met with the smiling faces of your friends, their eyes gleaming with affection and mirth. Despite the turmoil you've faced and the uncertain path ahead, this moment of pure camaraderie fills you with a newfound strength. You will do this for them, you can do it.

“Thank you, all of you,” you whisper, your voice choked with emotion. “I... I don’t know what to say.”

Nancy steps forward, wrapping you in another tight hug. “You don’t have to say anything, (Y/N).” Orion makes Walburga hold the cake, and he brings you in an embrace that you weren’t expecting but accepting gladly. 

“It’s not much, but I hope you liked it.” He says once he parts away. You grin and nod, “I loved it.”

He smiles back, and then steps away to allow Abraxas to hold you from your hand and bring you to the drawing room. He sits you down, then looks over his shoulder, “Wally, tell one of the house elves to make warm butterbeer for (Y/N).”

Abraxas doesn’t get a chance to sit besides you, as Tom does that and the latter only coldly stares at him with a raised eyebrow, almost daring him to comment.

The blonde smiles awkwardly then nods, “where were you? Something happened?” he demands.

You shake your head, and come up with a convincing lie on the spot, “I’m quite alright, I was looking for you around Diagon Alley then when the smoke and commotion became too much I apparated to Zane’s place,” you stop, then glancing at Tom and hoping that he believed your lie.

His expression is unreadable, and he stays silent, all of them stay silent so you add and hope that you sound more convincing, “then after a bit, I came here.”

“Why didn’t you apparate here?” Tom asks instantly, and you know that he caught onto your lie. Your heartbeat accelerates, “I, I thought it would be strange to come here…alone.”

Tom’s gaze is sharp and you know that he didn’t believe a single word you said. But to allow you some respite, he doesn’t press further and thankfully at that time. Walburga takes the butterbeer mug from one of the house elves and hands it to you. 

“Here you go, drink up.” She tells you as you accept the mug. 

You take a sip then look around, hoping to distract everyone else from your lies and not to think too long about them. 

“I desperately want a piece of that cake, it looks delicious.” You comment, and Orion claps then gestures to the same house elf to cut it for you. 

“We didn’t know which flavour to choose, there are just so many,” Abraxas says as he sits across from you, and Nancy sits next to him. He continues, “however, dear Tom informed us about your eternal love for chocolate cake.”

Your face turns hot as you glance at Tom, whose ears turn scarlet at Abraxas’ words. As you take another sip of the warm butterbeer, grateful for the distraction it provides, Walburga nods in agreement with Abraxas’ words. “Indeed, Tom spoke very highly of your fondness for chocolate cake. We couldn’t resist.”

Tom clears his throat awkwardly, his cheeks tinged with a faint blush. He looks away, and pretends that their talk is beneath him as if he isn’t scalded with shyness. 

As the cake is served, you find yourself savouring each decadent bite, the rich chocolatey flavour melting on your tongue. It’s a simple indulgence, yet it brings a sense of comfort and familiarity that soothes your frayed nerves.

With each passing moment, the weight of your earlier lies begins to fade, replaced by the warmth of friendship and the camaraderie of your companions. And though the truth still lingers in the back of your mind, for now, you allow yourself to bask in the joy of the present moment, surrounded by those who care for you most.

The weight of their unwavering support washes over you, grounding you in the present. For a brief moment, you allow yourself to forget about the complexities of the future, revelling in this joy that you will never feel again.

You will appreciate it just this once, just today. 

Just as the rest of the night rolls on, you feel a sense of bittersweetness. You laugh so hard that you get tears in your eyes, you smile till your lips hurt, and most importantly you don’t shy away from Tom’s touches, if you don’t initiate them yourself. 

Once it’s very late, you all retreat to your rooms, but not without Abraxas whispering playfully, “I will make sure no one comes into your room tonight, in case Tom wants to give you another special birthday present.” He doesn’t take a few steps away before you swat him with your face red. 

Entering your room, you're greeted by the soft glow of candlelight, casting a warm, inviting atmosphere. Your eyes widen in surprise as you notice small, carefully wrapped packages scattered across your vanity, each adorned with a handwritten note.

Curiosity piqued, you approach the vanity, a smile tugging at your lips as you pick up the first package. Unwrapping it with care, you’re met with a delicate gold butterfly necklace, the pendant shimmering in the candlelight. A note attached reads, “For when you need to spread your wings and fly - Nancy.”

Tears prickle at the corners of your eyes as you read the heartfelt message, touched by the depth of the sentiment. Setting the necklace aside, you reach for the next package. Inside, you find a leather-bound journal, its cover embossed with intricate designs. A note accompanies it, bearing the words, “For capturing the moments that matter most - Abraxas.”

Your heart swells with gratitude as you trace your fingers over the smooth surface of the journal, you eagerly reach for the next package, anticipation building in your chest. This time, you unwrap a beautifully crafted mirror, its frame ornately decorated with delicate patterns. A note rests beside it, bearing the words, “For reflecting the beauty within - Walburga.”

As you reach for the final package, you’re filled with mixed feelings. Unwrapping it carefully, you’re met with a sight that takes your breath away— an album filled with intricately drawn pictures of your friend group, each one capturing a moment of laughter and joy. A note next to it,“For preserving the memories that we hold dear - Orion.”

With a contented sigh, you settle in to admire the gifts from your friends, each one a precious token of their love and friendship. And as you reflect on the memories shared and the bonds forged, you offer a silent thanks to the universe for blessing you with such incredible friends, vowing to cherish them always.

A gentle singular knock alerts you, and before you could move to open the door for whoever’s knocking the door pushes open and Tom walks inside. 

“Tom,” you call with slight surprise, then you quickly put away Walburga’s note and present. He walks closer to you, and looks down at the spread of gifts on your bed. 

“Do you like any of the gifts?” he asks with a raised eyebrow, and you nod firmly, “I love them all, what’s that supposed to mean?”

“I always thought that you wanted to have a swing set,” he says making you burst out in laughter at the fond memory of you wanting to own a swing, he watches you laugh with a small smile and bright eyes, “or a pony.” he adds, and your laughter increases and you lean onto him for support as you’re unable to control your laughter.

He holds your hand that’s clutching his forearm in your laughing fit, “I do still want to own a pony.” He shakes his head at your comment, “dreadful creatures, I would prefer it if you said a hippogriff or something.” 

“Well, it’s my birthday present, is it not?” you ask and cross your arms over your chest as you look up to him with a teasing look. He rolls his eyes then wraps an arm around your shoulder and brings you into your full height.

“So what you’re saying is you wouldn’t be happy with my gift?” he asks when you part. 

Your lips part slightly in confusion and you search his emerald eyes, “of course I will. Tom, you could give me the ugliest rock in the world and I would still be happy.”

He’s silent, then his cheeks turn slightly rosy and you can tell he’s nervous about what he’s going to show you next. At his nervousness, you turn slightly nervous and your heart starts beating a thousand beats per second.

Tom steps closer to you, and then takes your left hand and he exhales a shaky breath. Then in the blink of an eye, you feel weight on your ring finger. You look at it, and gasp softly at the Gaunt ring on your finger. The black gem on it shines gracefully and you look at it with awe. 

“Tom!” you hiss in disbelief. Then you raise your hand higher and stare at the way the light catches magnificently at the ring. 

“My uncle says it’s only for family, and I agree,” he trails, your gaze catches his eyes that are so warm and so filled with the purest feelings for you that you simply wish to curl up and die for what you’re going to do later on. 

“You’re my family, and the only person in this forsaken universe that I wholeheartedly trust and love,” he says, his arms circling your waist. 

Emotion overwhelms you with tears of gratitude shimmering in your eyes, you gather Tom close to your heart, you embrace him tightly and you’re unable to stop your crying fit. Tom whispers in your ear, “is it so horrendous that it makes you cry?” 

You laugh in the middle of your crying at his words, though you’re unable to speak, not with your words transforming to wails whenever you try to do so. You shake your head, and force out a wobbly, “I love it.” Tom smiles, and dries your wet cheeks with his rough thumbs. 

He brings you in an embrace, and you hug him back as you try to calm down your crying fit. He rubs your hair and though he doesn’t whisper anything in your ear, you’re content to hear him breathing and secretly muttering that he’s thankful.

When you relatively calm down, and that is after some considerable time. He breaks the hug, “I would just like to stress that you can never ever remove the ring,” 

Before you can ask for a reasoning, he adds, “I already enchanted it that it can never leave your finger, now it belongs to you and now everyone shall know you belong to me.” 

“Is that what you care about? Everyone knowing that I belong to you?” you ask, watching him pull you behind him towards the bedroom door.

“Don’t you? I for one, would rest assured that those little weasels would give up.” he says, opening the door and navigating his way outside of the manor. You’re both quiet, and your footsteps are lighter than snow against the sleek flooring of the manor.

You’re finally able to breathe normally when your shoes crunch against the cobblestones below the threshold of the Malfoy’s manor. 

“Come on.” he assures you and squeezes your hand to follow him towards the gardens in the back. 

As you walk through the manicured pathways, Tom’s grip on your hand tightens, almost possessively. “You have no idea how long I’ve waited for this moment,” he confesses, his voice a mix of relief and determination.

You glance at him, seeing the depth of his emotions etched in every line of his handsome face. “I can imagine,” you reply softly. “But what about you? Doesn’t it bother you that you’re bound to me like this?”

Tom stops and turns to face you, his expression serious. “Not at all. It’s what I’ve always wanted. To be bound to you, to have you by my side, forever.” His eyes search yours, seeking reassurance.

You take a deep breath, feeling the weight of his words. “Forever is a long time, Tom. Are you sure?”

“I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life,” he responds without a ray of hesitation. “You’re my anchor, my sanity. With you, I feel like I can conquer the world.”

You feel a surge of emotion, a mix of fear and hope. “I just don’t want you to regret this,” you whisper.

Tom cups your face in his hands, his touch gentle. “The only thing I’d ever regret is losing you. This ring, this bond, it’s my promise to you. That no matter what happens, we’ll face it together.”

You lean into his touch, feeling the sincerity in his words. “Okay,” you say hollowly. 

No matter how much you wanted his plans and dreams to come true, to stay by his side forever. It simply wouldn’t be possible, not when you and Tom are still vulnerable teenagers with a lot to lose and a lot to protect, and Dumbledore doesn’t have a single thing he wishes to protect, not even himself.

It was as if you brought a stick in a wand fight. A definite loss.

Tom leads you to walk up the hill, and under a big oak tree. It’s bark wide and it’s branches spreading wide to offer you a sense of shelter in this open space. 

He takes a deep breath, looking up at the leaves rustling in the breeze. “It feels peaceful, does it not?” he says, his voice quiet. 

You nod, understanding the sentiment. “It’s beautiful,” you say, trying to push away the dread gnawing at your heart.

But the dread refuses to leave. It coils tighter around your heart with every step you take, knowing the decision you’ve already made. You’re going to leave him. You have to. For his sake, and for your friends.

Tom sits down on the grass, and pulls you to sit on his lap with ease. His hand rests on the small of your back and then wraps around your waist. You allow him to hold you as the dread in your stomach intensifies. You’re lying to him, lying to the one person you love more than anything. You’re going to leave him, and it’s tearing you apart.

“Do you remember our birthdays when we were little? How we always had chocolate cake?” Tom asks, a nostalgic smile on his lips.

You smile despite yourself, recalling the memory. “My favourite. I always wanted the biggest piece.”

“And I let you have it,” he chuckles. “Every year.”

You nod, leaning your head against his shoulder. “It was worth it to see you happy.” he whispers, playing with your fingers.

Tom’s hand strokes your back gently. “And the fights you used to have over the swings at the park? You were so competitive.”

You laugh softly, the sound mingling with the ever-present dread. “We always ended up arguing with the other kids.”

He grins. “And you were always the one to defend me, even if it meant getting into trouble.”

You feel a pang in your heart, remembering how fiercely you protected him. “I couldn’t stand to see you upset.”

Tom’s eyes soften as he looks at you. “And the time you accidentally pushed me on the pavement, and I injured my knee open? Victoria was so mad.”

“I was terrified,” you recall, “she scolded me for an hour.”

“But then she made us both hot chocolate and bandaged me up,” Tom adds, a fond smile on his face. “She was always looking out for us.”

You want to hold onto these memories, these moments of simple happiness. You want to stay in this moment forever, wrapped in his arms, but the dread is unrelenting. “I hope we can have more times like that,” you manage to say, your voice trembling.

“We will,” Tom promises, his voice filled with conviction. “I’ll make sure of it.”

As you sit under the oak tree, his arms around you, you try to savour the warmth and comfort of his embrace, even as the dread continues to gnaw at your heart. The decision you’ve made looms over you, like a dark cloud on the horizon.

“I’m craving some hot chocolate, now that you mentioned it.” you lie, moving to stand up and away from him.

Tom raises an eyebrow, “we can ask the house elves.” his hold on you tightening and stopping you from leaving. “No, Victoria taught me her special recipe, and I do not want to share it.” you say with a shake of your head and a giggle.

His hold loosens, “alright then, we both shall go.” he says, moving to stand up, you push him to sit back down, straddling his hips and shaking your head, “I won’t even share it with you.”

“I will close my eyes.” he argues, you’re persistent as you add, “I also want to go to the loo, just give me five minutes and I will be back before you know it.”

“Twenty minutes is an awfully long time, I could read a book in five minutes.” you roll your eyes playfully, “I believe that you’re being dramatic.” you say, unable to stop your giggle. Before he could argue some more, you cup his face and bring him in a chaste kiss that he immediately deepens.

You lose yourself in the kiss, pouring all your love and fear into it. It's passionate, desperate, and filled with unspoken promises. His hands travel up your waist, his thumbs right under your bosoms and he pushes you closer to him swiftly that your chests were moulding together. 

His kiss becomes more urgent, seeking and exploring every inch of your mouth, leaving you breathless and craving more. You respond eagerly, your fingers tangling in his hair, pulling him closer as your tongues dance together.

Though when his right hand cups your bosom, and his left cups your bum you break the kiss. Resting your forehead against his as you both recollect your breath. 

“I’ll be back before you know it.” you whisper, you stand up and he finally allows you. 

“And I’ll start counting.” he says with a playful smile. You stand over him, gazing into his brilliant forest green eyes, and taking in the way the moonlight shines lovingly on his pale skin. 

You wonder how he could look at you with that look, and how is it even possible for you to love someone so much that you’re willing to put yourself through decades of torture just to witness one smile of him. 

“Something wrong?” Tom asks, standing up abruptly to cup your face and wipe your tears that you didn’t even realise were spilling. You breathe out shakily, “No, everything is perfectly fine.” you say, taking ahold of his hands and holding them. 

“Why are you crying then?” he asks, concern painting his features.

“You said it yourself, I’ve always been a crybaby.” you say, and pull him for a peck. When you part, you sniffle and turn around. 

“I’ll be back in five.”

“I started counting,” he says, you turn around to stare at him one last time. But the more you looked at him, and the more he looked back at you with those pure feelings in his eyes, the more you wanted to stay and the harder your departure is. 

So you force a smile one last time, and then turn to face forward. 

Behind you, you hear Tom’s quiet voice. “I love you,” he confesses, the words carrying through the night air, wrapping around you like a warm embrace.

You don’t turn back. You can’t. But his words echo in your mind, giving you strength as you disappear into the darkness, knowing that you’ve left behind the only people who genuinely and deeply care for you in this world.