Archive of Our Own ^beta

When Professor Chaos’ minions ambushed Coon and Friends unexpectedly during a nocturnal inspection, they had no choice but to split. There were too many minions and the boys were unprepared for a battle of this size so they quickly agreed to meet at the Coon Lair and ran away. The Coon and Mosquito left in the same direction, Super Craig and Kyle hid in a back alley, and Fastpass took Captain Diabetes with him, escaping thanks to his super speed.

Predictably, the last two were already at their base when Super Craig and the Human Kite arrived. The Human Kite asked them if they knew of the whereabouts of the Coon and Mosquito. Fastpass shook his head and said Mosquito hadn’t answered his texts. He showed the screen of his phone, the messages appearing as unread. The Human Kite felt uneasy yet Super Craig said they had probably taken the long way and that they should wait for them, that it was going to be okay. The Human Kite reluctantly accepted and they all sat by the table, watching the minutes go by.

It was way past 9 when the doorbell rang and Mosquito appeared through the door. He appeared to be mostly okay but he was out of breath and, most importantly, alone.

“What happened?” Kyle couldn’t help standing up. “Where’s the Coon?”

“It was a trap.” Mosquito put his hands on his knees, his chest rising and falling rapidly. “The minions...they knew what they were doing...we bumped into the sixth graders…”

“The sixth graders?!” Captain Diabetes exclaimed with horror.

“Well, you seem to be okay.” Super Craig observed calmly.

“Yeah, I managed to escape.” Mosquito’s face suddenly turned grim. “They got the Coon though…”

“What?!” The Human Kite shrieked.

“Oh, that’s b-bad…” Fastpass brought a hand to his face. “They got our leader…”

“Why didn’t you tell us?!” The redhead screamed at Mosquito.

“Uh...my phone fell while I ran so…”

Kyle didn’t need to know more. This idiot had ran from the fight and didn’t even care to look back. “ So what do we do now?” He asked, trying to regain his composure.

“Well…” Mosquito scratched his head. “I kinda have to go home now.”

“Yeah, me too.” Craig agreed. “Let the cops handle it or something.”

“The cops?! The cops are not gonna bother with a bunch of bullies beating on a kid!”

“B-But we don’t have the s-strength to take on the Sixth Graders e-either.” Fastpass unhelpfully added.

“I have to take it easy because of my diabetes…” Captain fucking Diabetes pulled his typical excuse.

The Human Kite glared at them with disgust. “You’re just gonna let Cartman get ganged up on by a bunch of Sixth Graders?!”

The four boys exchanged looks before turning back to him.

“Yeah.”

“Yeah, sure.”

“I-It is Cartman, after all.”

“Pretty much.”

Simply unbelievable. Then again, he kinda understood it, to an extent. Not so long ago, Kyle would’ve probably answered the same thing. Except, if he let this slide, Cartman was absolutely going to get punished and banned from playing superheroes ever again, on the grounds that it was dangerous. And like that, Coon and Friends would lose their base and they would have to join goddamn Freedom Pals. He didn’t want to side with those losers. No offense to Toolshed and Mysterion.

“Fine then, I will go!” He slammed his fist against the table dramatically, in an attempt to evoke some courage from his team.

A beat.

“Okay.” They all said in unison.

The Human Kite’s jaw fell open as he watched his allies get up from their chairs and walked up to the stairs, bidding him farewell on their way out. When Mosquito waved his hand at him, he woke up from his trance.

“Wait, Mosquito!”

“Yeah?” The aforementioned turned to him.

“Where did you guys get caught by the Sixth Graders?”

“Oh, right outside the movies? They were just getting out when they saw us.” He seemed frightened by the memory. “They bolted towards us calling us ‘Stupid Fourthies’ and all that...before I noticed, Cartman was no longer running with me.” He shrugged.

“Got it, thanks.” Kyle mumbled. He clearly didn’t feel guilty at all about dumping the guy. What an asshole.

After texting his mother that he was going to be a little late because of a group project, the Human Kite embarked on his journey to find the Coon. He knew it probably wasn’t very safe to walk around the streets at night yet he didn’t care. He was way more scared of his mother not letting him play with his friends ever again. This was a necessary sacrifice. Also, he had his location turned on in case anything went awry.

It took him about 20 minutes to get to the town’s film theater, which was currently showing adult movies. He tried to ask the clerk if he had seen a fat boy dressed in a superhero outfit around but the prick told him off, that kids weren’t allowed at this time of the night anymore. As usual, a jerk.

He began walking towards Token’s house, attentive to any noise. Nothing yet. Well, Clyde did say they ran so maybe he just had to keep searching. When he passed the Senior Center, he vaguely heard some laughter and noises up ahead so he went faster. The voices got louder so he started running. They came from the mall, now in ruins.

Cautiously, he entered the parking lot through one of the many holes on the walls, while being as quiet as possible. There was barely any light in there but he distinguished about four figures in the distance, all taller than him, laughing and kicking at something on the ground. The closer he got, the more obvious it became that said something wasn’t inanimate but a person being relentlessly kicked by the other four individuals. The victim was curling in a ball, barely moving.

“What are you doing strutting around at this time of the night, Fourthie?” One of them yelled, stepping on the person’s leg.

“Where are your little friends? Did they abandon you?”

“Aw, poor Fourthie doesn’t have any friends!”

They cackled with shrilling voices that sent chills down Kyle’s spin. He hid behind a bush to watch them.

The one that appeared to be their leader brandished an almost circular object in his hand. “What is this huh? Cat ears? Are you a fag?”

Kyle’s stomach dropped. So it was true. The person on the ground was…

“He has a tail too!” One of the minions added and bent over to pull it.

“Stop…” Cartman sobbed although he didn’t resist. He got a kick in the ribs for even speaking up. The boy cried out in pain and got another kick.

“Shut the fuck up, Fourthie!”

“Yeah, no one is coming to save you!”

“Where’s your mommy, huh?”

The thugs took turns to spit on him, snickering while doing so.

“Stand up.” The leader commanded him and even though his voice was serene, he was the most scary of them all.

“Hey! He told you to stand up!”

“Stand up, asshole!”

Shaking and whimpering, Cartman got on his feet, almost stumbling. Even from the distance, Kyle could see his uniform had been torn apart and his cape was missing a big portion. He was still wearing his mask, however, and this didn’t go unnoticed by the main bully.

“What is this?” He mockingly inquired while grabbing the decorative item.

“No!” Cartman reached out to take it back and was instantly immobilized by two of the remaining tormentors.

His reaction, unfortunately, was telling enough, as the leader casually declared. “I think you haven’t learned your lesson.” He signaled to one of his friends and the guy kneed Cartman in the belly. The kid fell with a wail.

Irate, Kyle began looking around for anything to use. These weren’t like the usual Sixth Graders they were used to dealing with. They were actually fucking evil. If he stepped in unarmed, he was going to end exactly like Cartman. However, he couldn’t stay and watch. These bastards needed to get their asses kicked, no, he wanted to kick their asses himself.

“Hold him.” The leader ordered. “Let him watch me break his precious toy.”

“Not the mask!” Cartman pleaded. “Please!”

Behind the tree next to the bush he was hiding in, Kyle saw a metal bar. As silently as he could, he got on his fours and approached the tree. He didn’t count on the rustling noise his kite would make against the leaves on the bush, though.

The bullies turned. “Who’s there?!” One of them yelled.

“Another fucking Fourthie?”

Two of them began walking menacingly towards the bush and Kyle grabbed the bar quickly, gripping it on his fist. Shit, fuck, what now? A surprise attack?

“Show yourself, you little bitch!” One of the guys stretched out his arm to grab whatever was hiding inside the bush and that’s when Kyle struck him with his weapon.

The bully groaned, holding his injured arm with his free hand. “What the fuck!”

Encouraged Kyle aimed for his head as the douchebag was still within his reach. It was probably a funny sight, seeing a metal bar come out of a bush to hit someone. The object made a dull noise against the guy’s head and he stepped back, disoriented only to drop unconscious on the ground a few seconds after.

Not willing to lose the momentum, the Human Kite jumped out and bolted towards the second bully right next to the one he had just knocked out. His hood fell off as he screamed, hitting the thug in the chest. He fell to his knees and Kyle hit the back of his head. The scum face-planted on the concrete.

Encouraged by his crushing victories, the redhead then threw another yell in the air and dashed towards the third minion, who seemed stunned by what he had witnessed. He was holding Cartman by the hair to lift his face and pressing his knees against his back to keep him on the ground. It was an infuriating view, yet, exactly because of his position, the bully didn’t have time to get into a fighting stance, only managing to raise his hands and yelp before Kyle hit him across the forearms with the metal bar.

The coward howled, so pained that he forgot to protect himself and Kyle took the chance to smack his face. He didn’t make any more noise when his head hit the asphalt, nose bleeding profusely. Kyle secretly hoped he had broken it. It’s the least he deserved.

When he turned towards the leader, an unfamiliar murderous instinct kicked. It was him, the main perpetrator, the reason why Cartman was lying on the floor all beaten up, the mind behind the violence. This piece of shit Sixth Grader that didn’t even look particularly strong. Kyle raised his weapon one last time, roaring like a wild beast about to attack.

“Okay, okay, I’ll go!” The main bully gave up, seemingly frightened by his younger opponent.

Kyle glared at him, both incensed and skeptical, holding his bar like a baseball bat.

As a proof of his sincerity, the remaining delinquent put the raccoon themed mask on the ground and backed away gradually. “They won’t come back for you. No one will know. This never happened.” When he was at a safe enough distance, he ran for it, clearly indifferent to the wellbeing of his buddies.

Kyle considered chasing him when he heard Cartman choke and cough behind him. He turned to view him, dropping the bar as he did. And the sight made him forget about his thirst for revenge at once.

His outfit was dirty, the white having almost become grey and the spandex was scratched all over, in some places there were small holes. His tail was loose and partially ripped and his cape was only hanging from one shoulder. And his face...his face was swollen, covered in red marks, his left eyelid showing early signs of a black eye and his bottom lip was split. He was a mess.

With one arm, Cartman rubbed his eyes and, with the other, he stretched his hand to Kyle. It took the latter a few seconds to understand what Cartman wanted. When he did, he bent over, picked the mask from the ground and handed it to him. The one he considered his rival muttered a quiet “Thank you.” before he put it on. Kyle felt miserable watching him, so bruised and feeble. It’s true that he enjoyed when Cartman got his due, he was a dick after all. But this had been pointlessly cruel. He was just playing superheroes with his friends at night. There was nothing deserved about the abuse.

Weakly and slowly, the Coon walked towards his mistreated headband and put it on as well. He was limping a little. “I didn’t think anyone would come.” He finally said, letting out a feeble chuckle that sounded more bitter than anything else.

“I’m sorry.” Kyle apologized earnestly. Despite knowing none of this was his fault, he couldn’t help feeling guilty for not having arrived sooner. “I came as soon as Clyde told me what happened...apparently he dropped his phone when he was running from them…”

The other scoffed, his back to his savior. “Fucking Clyde.” He cursed and the comment would’ve been funny if the situation had been any different.

“Cartman…” Kyle was surprised by how much his voice sounded like a plea. “Let’s go home.”

No response as the brunette stayed in his place, staring at the front in some attempt to retrieve some dignity.

The Human Kite approached him. “Cartman…” It wasn’t until he was less than a meter away from him that he realized his friend’s back was trembling uncontrollably.

“I thought no one would come…” The boy weeped. “That no one cared…” His sobs grew louder as he lowered his head.

Kyle stood beside him. “Well, I’m here, aren’t I?” He tried to smile at him reassuringly.

The kid turned to eye him, tears rolling down his battered cheeks. “Yeah...and I don’t know why you are.” He sniffled, wiping his nose with the back of his hand.

Even though this wasn’t the right time, Kyle couldn’t help but be offended by the statement. Seriously? He really was going to say that? After all this time? Well, it’s not like he could be blamed, judging by the way the rest of Coon and Friends had dipped when they heard he was in danger. And Kyle was unable to get properly angry at Cartman when he was helpless like this. He was feeling a pang of pain in his heart, worse than usual, most likely because his friend’s situation was also worse than usual.

There was so much he wanted to say but couldn’t bring himself to. Instead, he squeezed Cartman’s hand with his, hoping it would be enough for the time being. “We should go before these assholes wake up.” He suggested.

Cartman nodded silently and they made his way out of the parking lot. The redhead gave the metal bar one last look before leaving the place. A part of him contemplated retrieving it later. He didn’t quite believe what the bully had said about them not trying to get back at him.

Kyle didn’t let go of the boy’s hand while they walked home. He needed to make sure Cartman would make it back in one piece. Also, although he wouldn’t admit it, he wanted to bring the other some kind of comfort. To let him know he wasn’t alone. Even if Cartman was a pretty horrible person all around, Kyle couldn’t get a kick out of seeing him like this. He wanted him to go back to being his regular, arrogant self.

The streets they passed by were miraculously empty and neither of them felt particularly talkative at the time so the walk was silent. This gave time for Kyle to reassess the events. Clyde said the minions trapped them, however, he had hard time believing Butters would’ve planned for Cartman to get majorly ass-kicked. Not because it was too cruel (debatable how far the weirdo would go) but because, knowing his strange thirst for violence, he would’ve wanted to watch at least. The whole thing seemed to be an unfortunate incident and the fatass got caught in the middle of it.

Who the hell were those guys, though? He didn’t get a really good look at them in the dark and he hoped the same was for them. Last thing he needed was to become a wanted ‘Fourthie’ in the area. Then again, he wondered how much of a problem were going to be 3 idiots he easily beat and one coward that got scared of a kid 2 years younger than him. Wow, he really did that, huh? Single handedly knocked the wind out of those shitty sixth graders. That was no small feat. With a metal bar, too...holy shit. At the moment, he didn’t have time to evaluate it but, thinking back, that was kind of brutal. He didn’t regret it, though, just remembering the way they were striking Cartman made him-

“Ow, Kyle, you’re holding my hand too hard.” Cartman moaned behind him.

“...Sorry.” The aforementioned alleviated the pressure.

Taking advantage of the interaction, the Coon hesitantly added. “I, uh, need to tell my mom I’m coming home.”

“Oh! Okay.” Kyle came to a halt and let go of Cartman’s hand. He turned to watch the boy whip his phone out of a pocket, miraculously unharmed, and typed a brief message. When he was done, the Human Kite extended his forearm in his direction, ready to hold his hand again. The brunette stared bewildered and Kyle realized his misstep in embarrassment. He promptly pulled his hand away and resumed walking. “Let’s go.”

He had barely taken a few steps when he felt the tail of his kite being grabbed. “Kyle…” Cartman murmured softly.

The hero stopped in his tracks.

“Thank you...for saving me…” There was no snark or malice in his voice, just gratitude in a sorrowful dress. The snout of his mask poked at his kite gently and Kyle kind of wished the craft wasn’t in the way.

Communication was so hard between them. It was so much easier to argue endlessly when they were fighting and to lecture Cartman incessantly when he was being an obtuse idiot. Yet, when his archrival was openly vulnerable like this, not a thousand words seemed enough. So, he simply stretched his arm towards Cartman for a second time. “Give me your hand.” He demanded, unable to help the protectiveness in his tone.

Soon enough, the other’s hand wrapped around his. Their fingers intertwined this time and, even though the situation was far from being standard, a strange sense of normalcy spread in the air.

“What happened to your claws?”

“Those assholes broke them when they stepped on them.” It wasn’t only Kyle’s perception, Cartman also sounded closer to his usual self, grumpy and rude.

“You gotta get new ones.”

“No shit. I also have to fix my entire fucking costume.” The kid was far from excited.

“Yeah, you look like shit right now.”

“Aye!”

“I can help you with the sewing.” He offered.

“Uh, no offense, Kyle but your sewing game is totally lame.” Cartman flatly rejected him.

“What? At least I’m not wearing fucking spandex!” The other got on the defensive, turning a corner.

“Yeah and that’s why the Human Kite sucks.”

Kyle giggled at the lame comeback. After a while he asked. “Are you gonna get revenge on them for this?”

“Duh!” Cartman exclaimed. “I’m going to destroy them.”

The redhead hummed thoughtfully. “Can I help?”

There was a fleeting silence in which Kyle imagined his friend gawking at him. “Really?!” The raccoon boy basically shouted.

A pause. “Hell yeah.” Kyle answered with a smile.