Chapter Text
Someone’s calling her name.
Eda bolts up from the floor with a gasp for breath, coming back to herself in an instant. The world spins, not unlike the first time they tried this, but she takes a few deep breaths before she looks up, feels Liliths hands on her shoulders.
“Eda? Are you alright? What happened?”
Right. Lily. Eda throws her arms around her sister's neck before she really realizes what she’s doing, and once she does she squeezes twice as hard.
Oh Titan, she really just did that.
“Edalyn, look.”
Eda turns and goes wide-eyed, her grip tightening on Liliths shoulders.
Raines body convulses, the vines around them glowing brighter than they ever have before. They shake unnaturally, before the first of the vines slowly retreats into itself, streaking across their skin like lightning bolts and revealing the thick pink scars in their wake. They go limp.
“Raine.” It tumbles off Edas lips in a whisper.
She feels her knees hit the floor before she realizes what's happening, sinking down next to them. Their breathing is wheezy, shallow but steady. She watches the color return to their face and she's transfixed, rooted to the spot watching every iota of movement.
And this time she does run her hands through their hair, damnit.
The last of the vines retreats back into their coven seal, and if Eda hated those things before then it’s all she can do not to dive for a kitchen knife and cut it off Raine right then. It goes dark, black like ink instead of the signature red of the Bard coven.
Their soft groan sends her attention back up to their face, barely above a whisper. They shift almost imperceptibly, eyes still clenched shut.
They’re weakened, she thinks, and haven’t moved on their own accord in months. She consols herself that those things take time to heal, but they can be healed. That’s better than they’ve been for too long.
Their eyes open. Hazy, crusted green things that flit around the room and land on her, blinking slow and she feels the full body recognition that goes through them. She shudders.
Titan, the things she would do for those eyes.
There's a million things running through her head, she wants to cry out of happiness and yell at her sister to get a healer, run screaming through the streets because holy Titan, it worked-
“Eda!”
Eda looks up, ears twitching. “Is that-”
Luz bursts through the door still on Owlbert, before flying headfirst into the wall and crashing. The little bird gives a pathetic hoot as Luz stands, hand grabbing her head.
She looks up sheepishly. “Sorry, I’m still learning how to land with more than one person.”
“You just suck at flying. Hunter groans, rubbing his back as he stumbles through the door. “Which is why we all bailed off.”
Lily furrows her eyebrows. “All?”
Eda thinks that maybe she should’ve followed through on learning the BAtTs names before they come barreling in through her front door, all in various stages of having just jumped off a palisman staff. The purple one has leaves stuck in her hair and they’re all complaining about being covered in mud before their eyes settle on Raine and they go silent.
“It’s fine.” She hears herself say, standing and forcing herself to step aside. “They’re just-”
They jump into a flurry of motion, and they’re on Raine before Eda even knows what’s happening. The purple one throws herself over Raine and the other two come up to flank her, worried looks on their faces when Raine slowly, weakly raises their arm and it flops over her back. Some perverse imitation of comfort. Raine opens their mouth to say something and nothing comes.
Luz hangs back, a hand on Hunter's arm before she goes over to help Lily prep for a healer.
“Was it… hard?” She asks, only half hearing herself and too busy watching the kids like a hawk around Raine, making sure they don’t hurt them further.
He shrugs. “Conformatorium security hasn’t been updated in years. It was bound to happen sooner or later.”
“Thank you, kid.” She hopes it comes out sincere, and with the look on Hunter's face maybe it did.
The oldest BAtT, the one Luz has now rescued twice, looks up at her with big eyes. “Are they gonna be okay?”
Yes, she thinks, yesyesyesyes but the words don’t come.
Lily steps around her to gather the kids, issuing assurances and shooing them out of the room so she can call someone who even halfway knows what they’re doing with healing.
Eda stands frozen still before Lily shopes her out too. She catches Raines eyes again, a little flash of recognition that makes her stomach sink but flutter on it’s way down.
It’s okay, she thinks as the door closes. They’ll have time to talk about it once Raines recovers.
They’re going to recover.
They have time now.
Eda steals a violin.
She’s not really sure why she does it. Wasn’t even sure how she wandered into that music shop in the first place. She’s used to only stealing what she absolutely needs these days, just the essentials. No use in attracting more attention than needed.
She bites her lip and stares at the thing sitting on her table. It’s golden brown in the sunlight, the wood smooth and the strings gleaming. It looks out of place in the Owl House. It looks too pretty.
She’d gone back to the clearing after the race, after her heart returned to it’s normal rhythm and she thought she cried all her tears out over King.
She’d thought- or maybe she’d hoped there was something-
Raines violin was shattered. Covered in abomination goo that looked too much like blood and if she looked for a week she didn’t think she’d find all the pieces. And what would she have done if she did?
She’d bolted like a scared deer back to her house, back to her kids and hadn’t said a word about it to anyone.
But they’re getting better now. She has to focus on that. Two weeks after waking up they can limp around mostly well, they can hold their food down and they...
They don’t sleep. They haven’t said a word to her. She’s not sure if it’s because they can’t or because they just don't want to. She’s not sure which one hurts her more.
She hears footsteps coming down the hallway. Slow and shuffling. She swallows and rearranges herself on the chair. She thinks for a minute how stupid that is, because its her damn house and her damn chair-
The door creaks open. The first thing she sees is Raines' hand fumble for the knob on the other side. The rest of them follows, leaning heavily on the door as they close it. They jump back when they see her and nearly lose their balance.
“Hey, Raine.” She chuckles nervously. “So, you’re looking better. That’s… really great. And I… uh…”
Their eyes land on the violin and widen.
She bites her lip.
Please talk to me we haven’t talked since you told me to leave you in the woods and it's killing me-
Raines heaving sob catches her off guard.
She startles up, watches in horror as their face goes pale and stricken. Their chest constricts, and the sound that comes out of them is painful as their knees go weak.
They’re in her arms before she knows it. She lifts them up, a hand at their back and half-thrown over her shoulder when she hoists them up and away from the offending instrument.
She doesn’t even think about where she’s going and the next thing she knows they’re on the roof.
A good enough place to stave off a mental breakdown, she thinks. She’s got a few benches up at the top of the tower, and it’s quiet. Plus the kids found and tossed her stash the last time she kept the apple blood up here, so she won’t be tempted to drink her feelings away.
Raines still shaking when she sets them down, the chilly night air not helping any. She frowns and turns, fully intending to grab a blanket or something for them before their hand darts out to grab her wrist.
She waits for them to say something, to apologize or ask her to stay but they let it hang there, cold fingers in a loose grip. She sinks down next to them, and places her hand over the one on her wrist.
She waits, and she tries to be patient while they shudder out the rest of their sobs. It racks their shoulders while they gasp for breath, trying desperately to control their breathing.
“I remember what they did to me.” Raine heaves, trying to suck in the air they can’t seem to keep in them. “When I was asleep. My seal-”
“I’m sorry.” She blurts, and slaps her hand over her mouth. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt.”
Raine just keeps going like they can’t hear her interruption, and they ramble on. “It burns. I barely feel like I remember what it was like when it didn’t hurt. It just hurts all the time. ”
It sounds like-
She can’t think that. She can’t make this about herself right now. Not about the first few days after her duel for the Emperors Coven, when there wasn’t a fiber on her body that wasn’t in agony from her first transformation. She swallows it down.
“I remember some healing spells.” She offers, and thinks that she really should stand to go get that violin but can’t quite make herself. “I can teach you.”
“I can’t.” Their voice is bitter and sharp, and she knew them for twenty years. They never sounded like this. It unnerves her, if the words exist to make them feel better she doesn’t know them. She doesn’t think there are any.“I can’t play, Eda.”
Does she recognize Raine without music? Just looking at them now, she’s not sure they recognize themselves.
“That’s okay.” She settles on finally, a tentative hand on their back that she waits for them to throw off if they’re uncomfortable. They don’t. “It’s gonna be okay.”
She saw their wanted poster in the square today. They kind of have to be.
It’s silent then. Words unsaid hang between them like a thick curtain and Eda doesn’t, hasn’t ever known how to breach it so she just sits there and rubs their back. She doesn’t know if she’s even helping, but Raines not telling her to leave and that’s gonna have to be enough.
“I kind of remember what you said. In…” Raine furrows their eyebrows, speaking finally. “In that place. My head, I guess? It was sort of like… I could hear you but I didn’t want to do anything about it.”
“And then… the wedding…” She trails off, unsure what to say and regretting the words the instant they are out of her mouth.
“I remember that part.” Raine softly says, and they must be exhausted because they don't sound even an inch embarrassed like they would be. “Did you mean it?”
This is the part where she runs. It has to be. This is the part where it ends, when she bolts out the door and into the night before catching feelings.
But she caught them a long time ago. It’s the rest of her that needed time to catch up. She looks everywhere but at them, at her shoes, at her stone-mural floor, at her hands wringing the skirt of her dress.
“Yeah. I did. I… do.”
Do you still want me?
She doesn’t hold it back, doesn’t even try. Just lets it spill from her lips on purpose this time.
Titan, her stomach hasn’t been this knotted since she was a teenager. It’s like the terrible anticipation of waiting for a prank to land, of getting bad test results back, of standing in front of a whole row of lockers cursed with the word Grom? and watching Raine drop their books in surprise.
Their hair is longer now. It flops over their forehead and she knows their eyes are drilling holes into her but she’s focusing on the little green locks instead.
“I never stopped wanting you. How would I even… I don’t know how to not want you.”
Her stomach flips. Flattery will get you everywhere, Rainstorm.
“We’re not young anymore, Raine.” She warns, and her hands twist up the fabric in her hands. “I can’t give you what you want.”
She’s not… she’s spent so much time thinking about what she isn’t anymore. She’s less wild, she’s less carefree and she’s less sick. And it’s terrifying that those are good things. But none of it changes who she is at her core, the person she hopes Raine sees right now when her walls crumble to dust.
All she has is the spreading sparks that go up her arm when Raine tentatively, cautiously reaches over and laces their calloused fingers through hers.
“I want…” Raine trembles. “You. Everything you want to give me.”
“You can’t mean that.” Eda says. Because her heart is in her throat and the rest of her is set so on edge she thinks she might explode. She saw what Raine wanted, every last detail.
“Of course I do. You saved me.” Raine says in earnest, just a hint of the passion she remembers in their voice the last time they met. Their fingers tap along her hand in a melody she doesn’t recognize. “And my BAtTs. And Hunter and your sister and-”
Raine cuts themself off with a start, face burning. She wants to protest that those last parts were all Luz’s doing but her throat feels dry and the words stick.
“Eda, I love you so much I had a months-long hallucination about you.” Their laugh is genuine but mirthless. “You’re so incredible and you don’t even know it.”
“I knew it. Back when we broke up.” They sound so wistful, is this what they always sound like when they talk about that time? “You were wild and passionate and it killed me that you didn’t trust me enough to tell me what was going on.”
They rub at their coven seal, at the phantom pains. “Knowing what I know now… you needed help. And I’m glad that you found it but I’m sorry for leaving.”
She curls her fingers around theirs like an anchor, like they’re going to run again. She doesn’t think she could handle it if they did. “I’m sorry that you had to.”
“I want this,” They say, bringing their hands up and squeezing. “To work. I just… I need you to talk to me. Tell me what’s going on in your head so we can work it out. Just let me help you on the bad… not even just on the bad days. All of them. That's all I ever wanted.”
Titan, Raines just so absolutely gorgeous. They’re practically emaciated but when Eda sets her eyes on them she just can’t pull away. There’s that strong cut of their jaw she remembers cradling in her hands, their sweet face a little more weathered.
They can’t have missed her as much as she missed them. It hurts too much to think about. But she can do something about that now.
“Okay.” Eda relaxes by degrees. “Okay, I can do that. Right now I feel… really happy. Just, so happy. ”
Happier than she’s been in far too long really. Her face breaks into a grin, she feels the tension sink out of the conversation and of her and Titan, this is how it was and always should be with Raine. “And… I’d really like to kiss you right now.”
Its shocking just how much she wants that, but she knows it deeper than she knows her own name.
“We should… really take this slow.” Raine says but they drift closer to her. “Figure some stuff out.”
“Right. Slow.” Eda agrees in a husk, half-lidded eyes and her lips just a hairs-breadth away from theirs. Titan, when was the last time they were this close? She can still count the faded freckles that dot across their nose. When was the last time she let them love her like this?
Eda closes her eyes and makes a promise to herself. Every moment, from now until she physically can’t. Until she’s dust in the wind. That’s when she’ll let them.
Raines lips are warm and soft, and their hands are painfully bony in hers but she’s touching them, they’re real. She fumbles for a minute, mind blank with how badly she wants it and when Raine pulls away she doesn’t think before grabbing their face and pulling them back in.
Its fast and falling and Titan, there’s no way she’s going to be able to take this slow.
“Raine? Am I dreaming?”
“I spent awhile doing that.” Raine murmurs between presses of their lips. “I don’t think so.”
It feels like hours that they sit there, and it’s still not enough when Raine pulls away. Their breaths are heavy and winded, and it takes them a minute to catch their breath. Eda laces her hand through theirs and rubs little circles on the back of their hand. She doesn’t think she can let go of them for… awhile, at least. Maybe not ever.
They yawn, the stress of the event catching up to them and it's the most adorable thing Edas seen since that time a butterfly landed on Kings nose when he was a baby.
Definitely not ever.
“Maybe we should get you to bed, Rainstorm. You’ve had a long day.”
Raine groans, their head falling on their shoulder. “Or we could keep doing this. I like that option better. I can’t sleep a wink these days anyway.”
“I know the feeling.” Eda murmurs, wrapping an arm around their waist to keep them close. “Change of scenery might help.”
They’ve been holing themself up in a little corner alcove in the hallway for the past few weeks. She would pass them sometimes in the middle of the night, curled in on themself and shivering. If they noticed that they always woke up with a blanket the morning after, they didn’t say anything.
“You’re such a mom. ” Raine teases, suppressing a yawn. “I can take the couch.”
“I’m never putting you back on that couch, Rainstorm.” Eda shakes her head. Really, she’d rather burn the thing than see Raine back on it no matter how bright and green and open their eyes are. She thinks they agree with her with the way they hum. “Just sleep with me.”
She doesn’t realize what she said until Raines eyebrows go up, and the dusting of pink on their cheeks would be adorable if she couldn’t feel her face turn cherry red. “I’m going to have to get a little stronger before that happens.”
“That’s not what I meant.” She rolls her eyes. “Just come on.”
She stands and extends her arm, reaching her elbow out for them to take. They stand slowly, wobbling from head to toe and all but crashing against her to take her arm. Their shuffle down the stairs is slow, and Raine looks exhausted by the time they get to her door. It makes something in Edas heart clench and something else in her chest alight with rage. She smothers it as they enter.
Raine stiffens. “Eda. Do you actually have a nest?”
“There’s a mattress in there!” She defends, sheepish. “Look, the sticks only poke you if you’re dumb enough to-”
“It’s perfect.” They laugh against her shoulder and it's melodic. “You’re perfect.”
She sets them down against the nest and hands them some clothes that she knows are hers and knows are too big for them, and when she slips behind her screen to change she doesn’t peek at them changing, even though she thinks Raine did, and that’s a train of thought for another day.
Raines already laid down by the time she gets back, yawning against her pillow. They reach for her when she lays down next to them, already half asleep. She goes down slowly, watching their face form into a sleepy grin when they throw their arm over her waist. She’d watch that face all night if she could, but then neither of them will get any sleep so she turns, curling her legs just slightly. Their face is buried in her hair. She’s half worried they’re going to suffocate like that but she hasn’t felt this good in years.
Titan, she missed this. And if it really is a dream then she never wants to wake up. Not when Raines' breath against her back is hot, their chest pressed against her and holding onto her tight.
She mumbles into her pillow, fumbles for some part of Raine she can hold onto and winds up with her hand on their arm. “I’m gonna get you back on that violin.”
I’m going to kill the monster who took that joy from you.
That’s three promises she’s made today. More than she’s made in the last twenty years and it makes her head spin gloriously with how badly she wants to keep them.
Raine huffs, linking their hand with hers and sighing. “Just rest, Eda.”
She closes her eyes, and does.