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She Used To Be Mine

Summary:

"She's imperfect but she tries
She is good but she lies
She is hard on herself
She is broken and won't ask for help
She is messy but she's kind
She is lonely most of the time
She is all of this mixed up
And baked in a beautiful pie
She is gone but she used to be mine"
-Waitress

Notes:

Apparently I have a thing for song titles and lyrics. This has nothing to do with 'Strike a Chord' (which may or may not be discontinued). I don't even know where this is going but we'll see. It's not going to be a particularly happy tale so keep an eye on the tags which may be updated depending on the direction this story goes.

As always, do the things.

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter Text

“Ow!”

Today just wasn’t your day. Somehow you snoozed both of your alarms and only woke because your cat decided to sit on your chest and loudly demand her breakfast. Without her insistent meows you likely would have slept the day away. After hastily getting dressed and breaking several traffic laws you finally made it to work. The sun was just beginning to rise as you burst through the back door, wincing at the brilliant light of the office. Blessedly your assistant, Ana, was already there and waved away your outpouring of apologies. There was still half an hour before you opened and since you were the last one to leave the previous night everything was more or less ready to go.

The morning only got worse when the espresso machine stopped working. Your brand new, ridiculously expensive espresso machine suddenly coughed out a puff of steam and died. Luckily most of your early morning regulars were understanding but there were also several patrons that made you lose your faith in humanity (again) as they ranted about not being able to get their morning coffee even though there were three other coffee shops within walking distance.

Once the day finally calmed down you grabbed a box from the backroom and began restocking the bookshelves. There were several gaps on the shelves but neither you nor Ana had any time to spare. It was midterms at the local university and the bell over the front door rang incessantly as students searched for books, caffeine or both. After hauling the heavy box to the second floor you crouched down, placing books on the bottom shelf, when someone ran into you and sent you crashing to the ground. Reaching back to break your fall, you felt a ‘pop’ when your hand met the hardwood floor.

“Are you alright? I am so sorry, I wasn’t paying attention to where I was going.”

“It’s fine, I should have heard you coming.” You started to push yourself up when a hand was extended to you. Looking up you were shocked at the piercing green eyes peering down at you. Their owner was tall and slim with jet black hair that fell to his shoulders and features sharper than any knife you owned. You stared at the hand for a moment before grasping it and allowing the stranger to help you to your feet.

“Are you sure you’re alright?”

Though you could feel your wrist beginning to swell you waved away his words. “I’m fine. Is there something I can help you find?”

“I heard that this is the place to go for rare and obscure books.”

You shrugged. “Maybe. What are you looking for?”

“Something that compares or links ancient Norse and Celtic languages.”
Tilting your head to the side, you mentally ran through the store’s inventory. “I may have something that might work. If you can’t find what you’re looking for we can always order it for you. Go straight ahead then four rows from the back. Hopefully you will find what you need.”

“Thank you and again I’m sorry for running into you like that.”

“It’s fine.”

You waited until the stranger disappeared among the shelves before flexing your wrist and immediately regretted that decision. Though you winced when you grabbed it, you took the mostly empty box of books downstairs and into the backroom before sitting down and looking at your left wrist. It was already swollen and it hurt when you tried to move it. You were barely able to pry your rings off of your fingers and stashed them in your purse. Digging in the first aid kit for a bandage you didn’t hear Ana call your name and jumped when she tapped your shoulder.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you. There’s a guy at the front asking for you.”

A frown creased your face. “Who?”

“I’ve never seen him before. Tall, black hair, green eyes and a delicious British accent.”

You couldn’t help but roll your eyes. “Did he say what he wanted?”

“No, he just asked for you.”

After finally finding a bandage you began to wrap it around your wrist. “He likely wants to order something. If you can’t find it in the database just take down the details and I’ll work on it after I get back.” You held up your arm. “I’m going to run over to the urgent care, can you handle the evening rush by yourself?”

“What happened?”

“I fell.” It wasn’t the exact truth but Ana tended to be over protective and you didn’t want her to chase away a potential customer because of an accident.

“Of course I can handle the shop. Why don’t you just call it a day? I can close up.”

Shaking your head you dug your keys out of your purse. “It’s fine. I shouldn’t be long and I have a ton of inventory to do. I’ll see you soon.”

Two hours and an obscene co-pay later you returned to the shop. Luckily your wrist was not broken but it was sprained rather badly and you were forced to wear a brace for anywhere between two and six weeks. It wasn’t ideal but you would take the semi-flexible brace over a bulky cast any day. After checking on Ana who fussed over you like a worried mother, she was only two years older than you but was fiercely protective, you headed into your office and booted up your laptop. Despite (accidentally) sleeping in you were exhausted. Part of you just wanted to go home and curl up on the couch with your cat and a true crime podcast but the other part of you knew that if you didn’t do the work then it wouldn’t get done at all. With a sigh you brought up a spreadsheet and got to work.

~*~

Three days later you were rinsing the dregs from a teapot when the bell above the door chimed with the announcement of a new patron. Drying your hands, you hurried towards the front. “How can I help…oh…hello again.”

Standing in front of you was the dark haired stranger who knocked you over the other day. He gave you a bright smile then his eyes focused on the black brace surrounding your wrist and immediately the smile faded. “Is that because of me?”

It took you a moment to realize what he was talking about and immediately dropped your hand behind the counter. “It’s just a sprain, nothing I can’t handle. So how can I help you today?”

The stranger’s gaze lingered on your arm for a few more moments before shaking his head. “I got a call that my order is in.”

“What’s the name?”

“Loki Laufeyson.”

Your eyebrow rose. “You were looking for a book on Norse languages and your name is Loki?”

He rubbed the back of his neck nervously. “Yeah, it’s a thing in my family.”

Looking beneath the counter you found the small stack of books with a sticky note with his name stuck to one of the covers. “Don’t tell me, your brother’s name is Thor.”

“Actually it is.”

You stood up so quickly that you nearly banged your head on the counter. “Now you’re just messing with me.”

“Well, he’s my stepbrother but…it’s complicated.” He was obviously uncomfortable so you quickly changed the subject.

“May I ask what you do? I’ve seen some rather obscure book combinations but that’s usually due to a new course at the university. Forgive me but it doesn’t seem like you’re a student. Please don’t tell me that you’re a professor getting ready to launch a course comparing Norse and Celtic languages. It was damn near impossible to find these and I’m still trying to track down the others you requested.”

Loki laughed. “No, I’m actually a translator and the team that I work with recently found some documents that contain what seems to be a hybrid of Norse and Gaelic or old Irish.”

“That’s fascinating but I don’t envy you. I’ve never had a knack with languages. I can swear in Spanish and pronounce the fancy Italian and French names of coffee but that’s about it.”

“I’d be happy to give you a lesson if you are ever interested.”

The statement took you by surprise and you busied yourself with the order form. “As I said, there’s five more that I’m still trying to track down so these three will have to do for the moment.”

“Honestly I wasn’t expecting to find anything at all. Don’t stress too much about the others. I’m sure I can get the works translated with what I have.”

While you appreciated the kind words you were a perfectionist and wouldn’t rest until your customer’s order was fulfilled. You gave him the price and after he paid you placed the books into a bag. Forgetting yourself, you grabbed the bag with your left hand and sucked in a breath before letting it fall to the floor. Cheeks burning in embarrassment, you quickly picked up the books and placed them on the counter. You refused to meet Loki’s eyes and pretended to mess with something behind the counter. When a minute passed and he still hadn’t moved you snuck a glance at his face and saw a frown marring the handsome features once more. “Is there something else I can help you with?”

“I…can I buy you a cup of coffee or something?”

You pointed towards the other side of the shop. “I own a coffee shop plus I prefer tea. Why?”

“I still feel terrible about the other day. I should have watched where I was going and-”

“Loki, it’s fine. It was an accident. I’m so clumsy that I probably would have fallen over on my own.” He didn’t reply and the silence stretched between you. Your savior came in the form of Ana calling your name from the back room. “I have to go, is there anything else I can do for you?”

He smiled and shook his head but the smile didn’t quite reach his eyes. “No but thank you for getting these books so quickly, I appreciate it.”

“We’ll call you when the others arrive. Have a good afternoon, Loki.”

You waited until he was gone before leaning back against the wall and scrubbing at your eyes.

“Woman, what is wrong with you?” Asked Ana while emerging from the back with an armful of coffee mugs.

“What are you talking about?”

“Tall, dark and gorgeous just asked you out and you said no!”

Moving to help her stack the mugs, you shook your head. “He did not ask me out. He felt guilty about the other day and wanted to make it up to me.”

Ana’s dark eyes narrowed. “Felt guilty about what?”

Damn.

You hadn’t meant to let that little detail slip. “I was restocking one of the bottom shelves and didn’t hear him coming around the corner. He bumped into me and I fell back and threw out my hand to catch myself. It was an accident and he was genuinely upset. That’s it.” Ana didn’t speak and you didn’t need to turn to know that she was scowling. “And it’s not like I’ll ever see him again.”

“Doesn’t he have an open order?”

“Yes but the books he requested are all but impossible to locate. I doubt that any of my contacts will be able to find a copy and even if they do I doubt he’ll want to pay what they’re worth. I can’t afford to buy them just for them to sit and gather dust.”

For several minutes the only sound was the clink of ceramic as you stacked the mugs then opened each jar of tea to see if they needed to be refilled. “That’s not the only reason you said no.”

Your spine stiffened and you carefully replaced the jar, afraid that you would drop it. “Don’t start, Ana.”

“I’m not talking about going on a date. How long has it been since you’ve even just gone out and talked to someone?” You didn’t answer and felt her gently grab your arm before you could disappear into the back. “You go to work and you go home. There’s more to life than that. I’m worried about you. You haven’t been yourself in…well…years.”

You were exhausted and in pain and confused by your encounter with Loki and unfortunately Ana was the one in your crosshairs. You pulled your arm from her grasp and spun to face her. You kept your voice low since there were a few patrons scattered about the store and leaned closer to make sure that she could hear you. “Your job is not to worry about my life and how I live it. My mother is dead, I don’t need another one and if you truly cared you would stay out of my business.” You glanced at the clock on the wall. “Your shift is nearly over. Why don’t you leave early and go and live your life or whatever the hell it is you do outside of work.” This wasn’t the first time that you and Ana had fought and you’d apologize profusely later but right now she was the focus of your anger and frustration and if one of you didn’t walk away you were likely to say something that you would seriously regret.

After a beat she turned and stalked off, shutting the backroom door with more force than necessary. Immediately guilt poured over you and you wanted to cry. Ana had been your friend since highschool and though the two of you often butted heads rarely did you truly fight. Already you were thinking of ways to apologize for your behavior and luckily the stream of students pouring through the door provided an excellent distraction.

Notes:

Please feed the self esteem goblin on your way out and leave ideas for my muse who tends to abandon me mid-story.