Chapter Text
Jacob couldn't decide what was more insulting: the deputy thinking she had a chance against him and his brothers, or her treating all of this like some kind of game.
He watched the woman's trembling body tied down to the chair, struggling to take another breath. Her clothes were soaked with her own blood, still dripping from her face. He didn’t hold back, not with her.
Wiping his blooded hands with a rug, he clenched his teeth at the stinging pain from his knackles.
He couldn't brush away the feeling something was off.
The whole time, she didn't make a sound.
"She didn't even pick up a fight, sir", one of the followers reported, when he returned to the Veteran Center. "She was just waiting."
"Where?" he felt his temples pulsing, wondering how they allowed it to happen.
"In your office." he averted his eyes, but under his gaze he added. "On, ehm, your bed, sir."
In his office.
Nothing was left untouched. Papers and plans were shredded and burned, files and recordings deleted, and on top of it all, all of his liquor was gone with an empty glass proudly standing on the nightstand.
Embarrassing. His men let it all happen under their nose, and to make it worse, they let Pratt escape. No matter, his Chosen were already hunting him down, it won't take long before he's dragged back to his chair. Oh, people will pay for their weakness, but first, the little rook.
The morning light creeped into the room through a boarded up window, reflecting against the red splatters on the floor. He glared at the Deputy's limp head.
This was taking too long.
- Is this enough? - he growled at her. - Or do you need more encouragement?
The woman sighed and muttered under her breath:
- You haven't busted my kneecaps yet, so I guess for you, it's a "no".
He grabbed her jaw and forced her to face him. All painted in red and purple, swollen and cold, she was hard to recognize. Only her eyes stayed the same, big and dark brown. A deer in the headlights. A liar.
- Humor hasn't left you yet, has it? - he tightened his hold. - Now, why don't you tell me how you got out?
She gave him a crooked smile.
- You know the answer, I don't need to tell you.
"Pratt", he thought. Maybe he underestimated him.
- But in any case, - she continued. - It doesn't matter, because you can't kill me, Jake. That's the will of the Father.
He threw her head and hit the metal table, making everything jump. Clunking echoed against the walls.
She was goddamn right. Joseph made it crystal clear, "don't harm the deputy, she’s the key to the collapse". Jacob grit his teeth every time she overstepped, took too much, acted too bold... He had to watch his brother suffer after Faith's death, had to watch John make another stupid decision, watch their work crumble in front of them...
If only it was up to him, she wouldn't even be here.
He glanced at the metal surface, all in disorder. And amongst it, laid a hand gun, waiting for him.
- Go on.
He turned to her. Eyes peeking behind brown strands stuck to her face, watching.
- You're tired, - she shrugged. - I'm tired, let's just end it. - she leaned back her head with a cough. - I'm bored of this.
A sigh escaped his lips. Jacob would have lied, if he said he wasn't slightly impressed by her. Men twice her size would break long ago, begging for mercy, but her? She was still mocking him.
- Joseph wants you alive. - he perched on the table, crossing his arms.
She made an annoyed grunt, but he ignored it and continued:
– But it doesn't stop me from making use of you.
- It doesn’t matter. Just shoot me and we’ll be done with this. - she straightened up and looked at him. - Aren’t you tired of this? Of the cult? The Prophecy? Do you ever get tired of this life?
He knew exactly what she was doing.
- Don't test me. - he warned her.
She huffed a laugh, but it quickly turned into coughs and wheezes.
- I'm not Joseph. You don't need to prove anything to me, - she nodded her head. - I know. I know. Only the strong survive. Or so it used to be. - she added, but something sounded odd to him.
- Joseph is not testing me, - he snapped at her. - He knows I'll do anything for the project.
Deputy looked at him from top to bottom, carefully studying him. Finally, in a low voice, she said:
- You think I give a shit if I die? That's my purpose. I give my life for Joseph's and I do it gladly.
He swallowed. Her words... They sounded exactly as if they were his.
- I understand my role, - she finished. - I am his sacrifice. Simple as that.
She rolled her eyes and looked at him with sadness and anger.
- It's not that simple, Seed. Never was, never will be. Your sacrifice won't change a thing. Your death means nothing. No matter what you do, it all will go back to that fucking church. The truth is nothing.
Without thinking, he grabbed the gun.
- And what's the truth?
She gave him a pitiful smile.
- This won't end. There is no win, for me or you or Joseph. Either you kill me now or I'll kill you. But it doesn't matter, history will repeat itself.
He loaded the gun.
- You're crazier than I am. - he shook his head.
- You're not crazy, Seed, - she protested. - Misguided, untreated, manipulated... But not crazy. I repeated this too many times to know it.
- "Repeated this". – he chuckled. – If only it was that simple.
He could swear, her face turned serious.
- It's not fun, Jacob, it's a pure torment. Doing the same thing, over and over again. But you're welcome to try.
He raised the gun.
- I might give it a shot.
- Then, - she smiled. - See you on the other side.
He pulled the trigger.
The alarm clock woke him up.
Jacob laid on the wooden floor with nothing, but a pillow and a blanket kicked away. He blinked, trying to adjust his eyes to the surroundings.
What just happened?
Slowly, he got up and took a look around.
Sunlight sneaked inside through the crack in the curtains, giving the almost empty room an eerie haze. Old photos nailed to the walls, clothes neatly stocked in the closet, dusty taxidermy hare frozen on a desk. Not clean, but not personal.
His room at the ranch.
He turned off the alarm and sat down on the bed. Rubbing his eyes, he tried to process what just happened.
He was in the Veteran Center, he shot the deputy and now, he is here. He shot the deputy... he shot her...
Was it a dream? No, not possible. Or was it?
As he went to the kitchen, things didn't seem right. It was calm and quiet, he could even hear the birds singing outside. The followers should be working by now, he should be hearing them, but there was nothing.
Sitting at the kitchen table, he went over everything again and again, but it didn’t make sense.
He took a sip of coffee, tried to go back to his breakfast, but he lost appetite.
There should be a simple answer to it.
John burst inside like a tornado, wrapped in a bathrobe and fussier than usual.
- Morning. - he grumbled, walking to the fridge.
He rummaged through it and shut the door. The appliance dangerously shook.
- Someone is in a good mood. - Jacob noted.
- Don't get me started. I need to get things going before tomorrow's party. Go to the Ryes, the Spread Eagle, get the word going and guess who just had to take the bathroom. Faith! Now, when I need to have it, Miss flower bitch decided to get high.
Faith, wait.
- Faith is alive?
He turned around with an arched eyebrow.
- Rachel? - he got back to the stove, turning his eggs around. - I don't think Joseph is going to replace her anytime soon. Why?
- Bad dream. - he waved it off.
This couldn’t… Deputy murdered Faith two days ago, wait... Why would John go to Ryes? And Fall's End was still in sinners' hands.
John sat down and gagged.
- How can you eat that?
Jacob looked down at his half eaten chipped beef on a toast.
He shrugged.
- How can you eat watery eggs?
- I don't know why they do that. - he grabbed and poured himself coffee from Jacob's mug. - It just happened.
- You shouldn't salt scramble eggs while cooking.
- Now you tell me.
He took a sip and imminently his face twisted. He coughed.
Why was he so calm? No… Something was wrong.
- What about the Reaping?
John stopped and put down the mug with a sigh.
- Like Joseph said, - he began in a bored, reciting manner. - The Reaping will begin when the first seal breaks, which only Joseph knows when it will happen because God.
- No, no, - he pinched his nose bridge. - The Reaping already happened.
- What?
- What day is today?
- The 5th.
- Of September?
- Of what else?
No, it couldn't be the 5th. That was…
That was a month ago.
John leaned over the table and asked:
- Did you find my hidden stash?
He shook his head, tapping the mug.
- That’s my whiskey.
- No, the other stuff.
He gave him a confused look.
- So no. - John moved back and took another sip. His lips twisted. - Don't tell Joe.
He ignored his younger brother's comment and focused on making sense of everything. It was the 5th of September, two days before the first seal broke. Before Joseph's arrest. Before the rookie...
- What about the deputy?
John put his plate and mug into the sink and sat back down at the table.
- Which deputy? – he asked curiously.
- The rookie one. - Jacob grunted. This was slowly getting on his nerves. - Brown medium hair, doe eyes, no training, yet she shoots like a trained mercenary. Moved in a month- two days ago. – he corrected himself.
- Oh, her. - he grinned. God dammit, Jacob knew this grin. - What about her? Miss her already? It was just a day.
- What are you on about? - he wiped his face, having had enough of this. He does one good thing and this is how his family reacts?
- Nothing really, just checking the water. It's not everyday you bring a girl to the sermon and ask about her afterwards. Caught your eye?
He glared at him. His brother's smirk went away, replaced by genuine surprise.
- Jesus, what did she do?
- Nothing... yet.
As John was about to ask more questions, Faith strolled into the room with a melodic "good morning" on her lips.
- Finally! - John got up and bolded out to the bathroom.
Jacob watched her pull a salad out of the fridge. She was here, alive, moving.
He closed his eyes.
It must have been a dream. A weird, vivid dream. It couldn’t have all happened, right?
"This won't end. There is no win, for me or you or Joseph." deputy's words echoed in his mind. Warning him. "But it doesn't matter, history will repeat itself."
He opened his eyes and saw Faith putting leftover salad on his plate.
- Here you go. - she smiled. - You need vitamins.
She went to wash the dishes, while he just stared at the greens and tomatoes.
Rachel was with them for so long and yet, she didn't know anything about him. But after all, she was Joseph's Faith.
He put one of the tomatoes into his mouth and chewed it.
He hated tomatoes.
Not long after, Joseph walked in, lost in thought. He wasn't ready to start the day, with his hair down and dressed just in a white shirt.
- Morning brother. - he grabbed himself a cup of coffee and a few toast, and sat down. - Did you sleep well?
- No.
- Me neither. - he took a bite. - I was thinking about yesterday. Maybe I worded a few things the wrong way. The new members didn't seem too enthusiastic, or convinced.
Jacob grabbed one of his toast.
- You're overthink it.
- You're right. - he shrugged. - Won't be the first time people walked out. - he paused. - But that's not all. I have this feeling, something is coming. I can feel it.
Jacob could feel the temperature drop.
- Tomorrow's party is coming. - Faith announced, walking up and starting tying Joseph's hair. - Everybody is excited.
- You're right, dear, but this seems to be something else. The Voice must be trying to warn me.
Jacob swallowed.
The warren.
- Joseph Seed! - the marshal shouted, waving the piece of paper in front of Joseph’s face. - I have a warrant issued for your arrest on the suspicion of kidnapping with the intent to harm!
The church was buzzing, every member stood between Joseph and the Sheriff's department, ready to jump in to protect their Father. The moment all of them were waiting for, was really happening. But Jacob's whole attention was on the rookie deputy.
The woman stood patiently, casually watching the show unfold. She wasn't scared or intimidated, only bored. No sign of bruising or blood on her tan face.
As he walked behind his brother, he didn't take his eyes off her.
Joseph raised his hands towards her.
- Rookie, - the marshal commanded her. - Cuff this son of a bitch.
- God will not let you take me.
Without skipping a bit, she walked to him with the cuffs and...
She stopped.
She glanced at his whole family and… Stepped back.
- You know what, Burke? - she tossed him the cuffs. - We are not doing this this time.
And she walked away.
- What the fuck are you doing, rookie? Rookie! - Burke called after her. - Get back here!
- Come on, marshal. - Whitehorse led him to the doors.
Joseph let down his arms and sighed. They watched them leave, with Marshal shouting about arresting the whole Sheriff department.
Joseph turned to his siblings, a calm smile spreading on his face.
- Sometimes it's best to leave well enough alone.
And that was it.
As he stood in the door of the church, watching the Sheriff’s department leave, Jacob knew it was wrong.
- Is it just me or does Joseph look disappointed?
John asked him as he stood next to him with his arms crossed.
- She was supposed to arrest him. - Jacob muttered under his breath.
- Well, but she didn’t. Smart girl.
He shook his head, not taking his eyes from the helicopter taking off.
- She knows something.
The alarm clock woke him up.
Jacob laid on the wooden floor with nothing, but a pillow and a blanket kicked away. He blinked, trying to adjust his eyes to the surroundings.
Again, he was back here.
As he sat on the bed, slowly swirling whiskey in a glass, he put everything he knew together.
He remembered Deputy arrest Joseph and where it led, but at the same time, he just witnessed her do the opposite. Everything else was the same. The preparations, the grill party, the sermon…
He could hear John cursing at Faith for hogging the bathroom, coming from the corridor.
Everything simply…
Repeated itself.
- Joseph Seed! - the marshal shouted, waving the piece of paper in front of Joseph’s face. - I have a warrant issued for your arrest on the suspicion of kidnapping with the intent to harm!
The church was buzzing, every member stood between Joseph and the Sheriff's department, ready to jump in to protect their Father.
But Jacob's whole attention was solely on the deputy.
- Rookie, - the marshal commanded her. - Cuff this son of a bitch.
She walked up to Joseph with the cuffs and...
She stopped.
She glanced at his whole family and… Stepped back.
- I’m sorry, Burke? - she tossed him the cuffs. - Not this time.
And she walked away.
- What the fuck are you doing, rookie? Rookie! - Burke called after her. - Get back here!
- Come on, marshal. - Whitehorse led him to the doors.
Joseph let down his arms and sighed. They watched them leave, with Marshal shouting about arresting the whole Sheriff department.
Joseph turned to his siblings, a calm smile spreading on his face.
- Sometimes it's best to leave well enough alone.
That bitch...
Jacob ran after her.
He heard Joseph call after him, but he was already outside, passing by the Sheriff and Marshal still arguing. The followers cheered and celebrated their "victory", yelling to the deputies to get moving. Deputy Hudson walked first, hand fixed on the gun, ready to protect her collages.
And the rookie looked like she was on a calm stroll through a park, taking in the moment.
Jacob caught up to her and grabbed her arm, pulling her back so suddenly she stumbled back.
- What are you doing? - he sneered.
It took her a moment to get back her barings, looking confused, before realizing what happened.
She glared at him.
- What are YOU doing? – she snapped at him. – You are not supposed to do that!
- Drag you back? Yeah, I shouldn’t, but this shouldn't be happening either.
- How do you- Oh. – a realization spreaded on her face. - Oh, no. How the fuck did you get here?
- I don’t know, honey, tell me. - he tightened his grip. - How are we back here?
Something flashed through her face.
- Hey! Don’t you dare call me “honey”. Ugh, Jesus Christ, I’m fucked. Of all the Seeds is you.
- You think I’m pleased with it? Now, - he tried dragging her back to the church, but she stood her ground. – Don’t make this ugly.
- I’m making this? Fuck you, Jakey!
- What did you call me?
- Mr. Seed, take your hands-
Deputy Hudson took a step towards them, but the rookie gestured to her to stop. She gave her partner an "I get this" look and turned her attention back to him.
- Listen, I'm ending this early. - she whispered.
- What?
- The moment this helicopter leaves the compound, the timeline will reset. Now, stop making a scene or I'll get shot. See that guy? - she pointed with her head. - He’s especially trigger happy.
He glanced at one of the followers, standing by the gate with a shotgun. His eyes drilling through her. He gazed back at her.
- Let me go, - she demented, trying to get her arm out. - Or I'll make this worse.
He shook his head. He needed answers.
Deputy grunted and took a deep breath.
- I told you it was over! - she shouted, pulling herself away. - I can't do this anymore!
- What? - he was stunned.
- I can't keep it up, Jacob! Not with everything you’ve done!
He looked around, everyone whispering and gesturing. Surprise, confusion and disbelief.
- What are you talking about?!
- It's over! - she screamed through crocodile tears, walking to the helicopter. She gave him the last, crashed look. - I'm sorry.
He watched her and the rest of the Sheriff’s department get into the helicopter. As deputy Hudson tried to comfort her, the rookie looked up at him. And she flipped him off.
Classy.
As the helicopter departed, Jacob felt someone tagging his back. He turned to see John gesturing to him to get back to the church.
He sighed and followed him.
- Tell me, - John leaned in to him and whispered. - Did you fuck the deputy?
He didn't answer, walking faster.
In the church doorway, Joseph and Faith were waiting for him.
- Brother, - Joseph reached out to him. - What happened?
He wiped his face. Now, explain it.
- They were supposed to arrest you.
- But they didn't. - he smiled. - God didn't let them.
- No, - he shook his head. - This was not supposed to happen.
- Well…
Joseph slowly walked up and put his hands on his shoulders.
- God works in mysterious ways.
The alarm clock woke him up.
And Jacob knew whose fault was that.
Chapter Text
It was the 5th of September again, and the first thing Anna did after waking up, was scream into the pillow.
What the fuck happed? Why did he remember? Why him? Why? Why? Why?
She's done. This was the end of her.
Fuck Joseph Seed. Fuck the Voice or God or whatever trapped her in this limbo! Why Jacob Seed? Why Jacob fucking Seed? She could survive John, fuck, Faith would be fine, but not mister wolf pics!
She took a deep breath and slowly exhaled. Sitting up on the couch, all the lost time caught up to her.
Think, Anna. Think.
Giving in to the routine, she tried to figure out what will now happen. First, the whole schedule was out of the window, butterfly effect and all. Second, she was fucked, especially if Seed is starting to grasp the situation.
She swallowed. Truly, she wasn't ready to go back so soon, after the last time. Running fingers over her face, she swore, she could still feel the bruises he gave her and the stickiness of blood mixed with sweat.
"It was always only ever you." Jacob's voice echoed in her mind, that smirk flashing dangerously. "Now, you're alone. And you're weak. And we-"
No. No, she wasn't. The rules have changed. No more sacrifices.
She grabbed her bag and glanced at the wristwatch.
6:45am.
15 minutes until he wakes up. Not good, not good. But for now, she needed to push it to the back of her mind and start living.
She grabbed her car keys and took the last look at her empty house. Full of nothing, but cardboard boxes. And it will never change.
She sighed.
Her first stop: Aubrey's Diner.
- Good morning, Nancy.
She bumped the station’s door with her hip and greeted their “lovely” secretary, balancing a stock of boxes and cups.
The older woman cocked her head up from her notebook and gave her a warm smile. Waves of pale curls bouncing around her face.
- Morning, darling, - she chippered. – How are you feeling? Didn’t catch a cold?
- Nope, - she made her way to the front desk and plumped the boxes down. – Couldn’t feel any better.
- What with all the boxes?
- I thought, I’ll bring something sweet for everyone. – she took out one of them. – A little thank you for taking me in.
- Oh, you shouldn’t have, - she seemed disappointed. – But I’m sure Pratt and Hudson-
She handed her the box and said:
- I mean, everyone. I couldn’t forget about you.
Stunned, Nancy took it from her and opened it. She gasped.
- Are those pralines?
- The shopkeeper, Charlie was it? I asked him what you like, – she lied. – And pralines were on the top of the list.
- I love them. Oh, dear.
She got up and tightly embraced her. Anna reluctantly hugged her back.
Although she was still more than just bitter at Nancy, the middle-aged woman wasn’t evil, just deceived by Joseph Seed. And to be honest, she did love hers starlet glam and no-nonsense attitude. She was a nice lady.
But still, fuck her for betraying them.
As she walked into their work room, like every time Pratt was lying on his desk. She put his box and coffee down and went to do the same with the rest. When she got back to him, he was still sleeping out his nightshift.
She smiled to herself, watching his body slowly rising and falling.
After so many resets, it was relieving to see him safe and unharmed. Back to normal, his carefree and jokey self. It always haunted her, what Jacob would do to him, if she went through with the arrest. She tried, again and again, but she couldn’t stop it from happening. Any choice she made, every different step, nothing would change those set in stone events.
Eli always died, Virgil always died, Staci was always tortured and broken.
Same with Hudson and Whitehorse.
Marshal? Well, she didn’t care about him. Cruel, but if it wasn’t for him, all of this wouldn’t happen.
But for those two days, everything was alive and normal.
Anna moved closer and smooched Pratt on the cheek.
- Wake up, Staci, breakfast’s ready.
He moved around, face squished into confusion. He muttered with a smile:
- Mrs. Robinson, are you trying to seduce me?
- Don’t be silly, Pratt. – she shook her head with amusement. Oh, this never gets old. – Can’t a woman greet her co-worker with a kiss and a cake?
His eyes opened.
- Cake?
- Here, - she pushed the box to him. – I hope you like cheesecake.
He sprang up, looking at her wide eyed.
- Don’t tell me it's New York style.
- With raspberry sauce. I wasn’t sure if-
Without hesitation, Staci grabbed and dug straight into the cake.
Anna laughed, grabbing herself a seat.
- Are we celebrating something? – Joey asked, walking out of the backroom.
- Morning, Joe. – she greeted her, sitting down next to Pratt’s desk. – Listen, do you like German chocolate cake?
Surprised, she went to her desk and investigated her gift, and then she concluded it was indeed a German chocolate cake, Hudson gave Anna a befuddled look.
- How did you know?
- I have my ways. – she winked with a smile, but immediately broke out laughing. – I’m joking. I asked around the diner.
- Aubrey’s? That’s weird-
- You need to keep this up, rookie, - Pratt said between bites, patting her arm. – Next time, maybe some home-made breakfast? – he raised a brow. – New routines?
- I’m not your housewife, Pratt, - she fist bumped his arm. - But what do you say, breakfast for a quad ride around the mountains?
- We have a deal.
They shook on it.
Joey shook her head, sipping her coffee.
As they finished eating, with Pratt and Hudson joking about a possible camping trip at the end of September, Anna carefully monitored the time. Things seemed to go as usual. That was good, but unsettling. Was Jacob not doing anything? No, that was impossible. He was a man of action, he was at least planning something.
“I'll let you know when it's time to come home. Only-”
No, don’t think about it. Stay. Here.
- Hey, - she announced. – What do you think about going out after work?
Her co-workers turned their attention to her. Joey clapped her hands and said:
- Yeah, we still need to show you around Hope County. In Pratt?
- Only if Chuck’s grill is off the list. – he made a gagging motion. – The last time I ate there, oh, never again.
- I was thinking about the Marina. Or are you still scared of Adelaide?
- Nope, since she got herself that Cali dude, I’m safe.
- So, it’s on me. – Anna offered.
She went to grab her jacket, but Pratt interrupted her.
- Okay, rookie, just say, what did we do to deserve this?
She paused, remembering all the time. All the fights and laughter. All the things that haven’t happened yet.
- Just being my friends and the best co-workers. – she shrugged. – That’s all.
- It’s been just two days. – Joey informed her.
- Really? – Anna acted surprised. – Wow, it feels like I have always been here.
Hudson put her hand on her shoulder and smiled.
- It’s great you’re feeling better.
She put her hand on hers and nodded.
- Yeah… - her chest tightened. – Better.
The door swung open and Nancy made her way inside, followed by clicking of her heels.
- I see everybody’s here, having a chit chat. – she announced, crossing her arms. – While work is waiting.
- We were about-
- Save your voice, Pratt, - she shushed him. – Earl called.
- He’s finally coming back from Helena? – Joey asked.
- He’s on his way back, but he wanted me to tell ya’ll, you’re off for today.
Anna fought off a smile. Just on time.
- What?
- You can go, but you need to come tomorrow, first thing in the morning.
- Hell yeah. – Staci got up with a grin. – Anna, ever have a paddlefish?
- Well, it doesn’t mean you’re free. – Nancy interrupted. – I’m still expecting the reports and Hudson, you’re still signed off to go to the radio.
- I remember, Nancy, don’t worry.
- Come on, - Pratt grabbed everyone’s jackets and passed them on. – Anna pays for food, desserts on me. Joey?
- Drinks. But no fancy cocktails, Stace.
- Fine, fine.
He ran out and they quickly followed him.
But the moment he walked out the front door, he imminently went back in.
His face was pale.
Oh, no.
- Pratt? – Hudson asked.
- I’m dead, oh I’m so fucking dead.
- What’s wrong?
- Jacob Seed is standing outside the station.
Anna could feel her pulse pick up. There he was.
- So? – Hutson looked out of the window. – Why are you panicking?
- I wrote him off last week for not having a valid hunting license. - Pratt muttered, backing away from the front door.
- Stace, you're an officer. He can't touch you.
- We could use the back door. - Anna offered, stepping back.
Staci patted her back.
- You have a head!
- Not you too! - Hudson blurred out. - And what he did to you?
"Where should I start?" she thought, but just shrugged and said:
- Things got awkward yesterday.
She didn’t quite remember what happened “yesterday”, but everyone else accepted it was a valid excuse.
- Enough, you both have nothing to be afraid of. Now, come.
Hesitantly, they followed her outside.
Jacob was waiting by the convenient store, perched on a cult pickup, arms crossed over his chest. Surprisingly to Anna, he was in a red flannel and jeans. Did she ever see him in something else than his army jacket?
As they tried quickly pass by him, he commented:
- Deputy!
Both Anna and Staci froze and turned around.
- Not you Peaches, - he pinched his nose bridge. – The rookie.
Staci let out a nervous laugh. He leaded to Anna and whispered:
- Why the fuck he called me “peaches”?
- You don’t want to know. – Anna patted his back. – Don’t wait on me.
They watched until her co-workers were far enough not to hear anything. Anna hopelessly wanted them to stay, but she knew it was better, if they left. For their own safety.
Jacob pointed with his head to a gap between buildings, away from pesky eyes. She nodded and went with him.
With a smile, she turned to him.
- So, Mr. Seed, how can I-
He grabbed and slammed her into the wall.
Air left her lungs, pain shooting through her body. He pinned her to the rough surface, restraining her from moving a muscle.
Her heart was racing. The only thought going through her head was how close his hands were to her neck. If he wanted, he could strangle her without breaking a sweat. Even if it meant nothing, it was horrible to go through again.
- What the fuck is going on? – he growled. – What have you done?
She swallowed, trying to hide her fear from him.
- Let me guess. Joseph scolded you and now-
He pulled and slammed her again.
A yelp escaped her mouth.
- Enough of this. – he demanded. – Talk.
Anna looked him in the eyes. Full of anger and fury, piercing through her.
There was no way to get out of this, unless… If everything was on point until now, she just needed to bite time.
She managed to pull up and shook her hands.
- Welcome to the time loop. Woohoo.
He furrowed his eyebrows, pressing harder on her.
- A time loop?
She swallowed, her lungs straggling, but she kept going.
- Oh, you know, a time loop. You watched Groundhog day, right? Time wandering in circles over and over again, with no end in sight. Just repeating and repeating and repeating.
- A time loop. - he muttered again under his breath.
- Oh, come on, Jake. It’s not rocket science. It’s just an electric boogaloo. It’s almost like insanity. This time is gonna be diff-
He grabbed her neck.
- Can’t you shut up? – he snapped. He took a deep breath and continued. – Now, what do you mean by “time loop” exactly? And how did you pull me in?
- I, - she cleared her throat, it was getting difficult to breath. – Well, now we are trapped between the 5th and 7th of September, or between the 5th ‘til around, - she moved her head around, thinking how to phrase it. – It depends.
- Depends?
- Too long and boring to explain, the point is, can you? – she tried pulling his hand off, but he only tightened it. – So, no. It all repeats.
He shook his head, lips twisting.
- That’s it?
- And as to why you’re here, welcome to the club. I want to know the same thing.
- How long?
- Hm?
- For how long this was going for?
Anna opened her mouth, but couldn’t say anything.
She didn’t remember.
- How many did you experience? - she slowly asked.
He sighed.
- Three.
She nodded.
- There will be more. There’s no way out.
- Don’t be so sure of yourself, Deputy. Joseph knows what to do.
She rolled her eyes. Of course, Joseph knew everything. Except for everything.
- You don’t believe me.
- And why should I believe you?
- Why would I lie?
He smirked. That goddamn smirk made her blood boil.
- Really, honey? Where should I start?
That stupid nickname again. Anna just wanted to punch him in the face.
- Do you want proof?
He loosened up his hold on her.
- There’s nothing you could-
- Both John and you have hidden stashes at the Ranch. - she cut in. - You have cheap whiskey stashed in the closet and John has everything in his “plane room”. Alcohol and weed. Today you ate your “I feel like shit and need something familiar” food, shit on a shingle…
- Don’t call it that.
- Oh sorry. Chipped beef on toast. And, what else, what else, ah right. Your underwear is red.
His eyes drifted off her, as he thought with blank expression, taking his hand away.
She couldn’t read his expression or even imagine what was going on in his head, but she hoped he'd be rational. Out of the Seeds, he seemed to be the most grounded and, by not much but, more reasonable.
Finally, she asked:
- Now, can you let go of me?
Jacob looked at her and she immediately recognized the look. She was back in the cage and the music box was about to be played.
His hold on her stiffened.
- I’m taking you to Joseph.
- Fuck no, - she tried to wiggle out. – I’m not going to that-
- It wasn’t a request, - he cut her off, leaning closer. – It was an order.
- I’m not your soldier.
- And what do we have here? – said a familiar, annoying voice.
Anna shuttered, feeling relieved.
Never would she thought, she would be so happy to see John. Standing hands on hips, his slimy smile present.
- I’m sorry, am I interacting something? - he asked, grinning like a child on christmas day.
She felt Jacob loosening his grip as he backed away.
- John, this isn’t…
- Don’t worry, - he chuckled. - I’m just passing by. I don’t want to spoil the moment.
He winked at Anna.
- There’s no moment. - Jacob growled.
Now, it was back to her favorite act.
She turned to Jacob with wide eyes, looking as much offended and hurt as she could.
- I’m sorry, what? Oh, so now it means nothing to you?
He looked at her, taken aback.
She pushed him away.
- Did yesterday mean anything to you?
- Yesterday? – John raised an eyebrow.
Jacob’s eyes moved from her to John and back. She was sure he wanted to strangle her on the spot, but he didn’t just because of John. Also, she hasn't done anything, yet.
While Jacob was just standing, probably thinking what to say to not incriminate himself, Anna sighed and pulled away from him.
- Well, boys, - she acted disappointed. – I would love to talk, but work can't wait.
She walked past them, but turned around and added:
- See you Friday. Have fun ‘til then.
Jacob watched as she walked away and got into her car, clenching his fists. Oh, she was playing a dangerous game. It won’t end well for her.
John whistled, getting his attention.
- Two days. – he shook his head. – Only two days. How did you do it?
He glared at his brother.
- I mean, - he tried to come up with something, but gave up. – Anyway, wanna come along? I need some additional persuasion for our dear Mary May.
He shrugged and went with him to Spread Eagle. It didn’t matter now, he’ll corner her again and this time, she won’t be about to speak another word.
- Joseph Seed! - the marshal shouted, waving the piece of paper in front of Joseph’s face. - I have a warrant issued for your arrest on the suspicion of kidnapping with the intent to harm!
The church was buzzing, every member stood between Joseph and the Sheriff's department, ready to jump in to protect their Father. The moment all of them were waiting for, was really happening. But Jacob's whole attention was on one thing...
She wasn’t here.
Anna stumbled her way down the road in Henbane, swaying under the lightness of her body. The night air was cold and full of bliss pollen, worsening her already wasted state.
Maybe she shouldn’t have spend the whole day with Sharky and Hurky, and just maybe she shouldn’t have drink that moonshine they gave her, but fuck it, tomorrow everything will go back to “normal”. Now, it was her and the empty road.
Of all the regions, she hated Henbane River the most. Not only because of what Eden’s Gate did to it, but how it made her feel: powerless and somber. Even before the storm, it was a sad sight of emptiness and death. Abandoned mines and closed down shops, there were ghosts of the past hiding in the shadows.
She could swear, there were familiar shapes in the fields, lamenting was hanging above hills, trees were whispering and gossiping about her, and the river was overflowing with tears.
None of this was real, but she couldn’t stop herself from thinking otherwise.
Gazing at the endless sea of white flowers, she saw a woman standing amongst them. It wasn’t Faith, nor Faith, or Faith, and surely not Faith.
Wiry frame covered by layers of thin fabrics and long hair, waiting for her to come, her dark eyes fixed on her. Anna knew her, but ignored her attempt and just kept walking.
She looked at the watch. It was almost 3am. Time of the arrest.
When she looked up, she found herself on a bridge.
But this time, there was no one to stop her.
Without much thinking, she climbed up and over the railing, back turned to the water below.
It almost felt like a game to her by now. Do this, do that, but the outcome is still the same.
She checked the time.
It was almost the end.
Arms stretched wide open, she closed her eyes.
“God will not let you take me”
She leaned back and fell.
Anna woke up again on her coach, it was the 5th of September.
Notes:
Thank you for reading and the encouraging comments on the first chapter, they truly made my days. I might not reply but I do read them. Thank you again ^^
Don't feel afraid to leave feedback.
Next chapter, next Sunday. (Edit: Ha, ha, no.)
Chapter 3
Notes:
What's this? A new chapter after three years of nothing?
Yeah, more about it in the end note.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
- Good morning, Nancy.
Anna bumped the station’s door with her hip and greeted their “lovely” secretary, balancing a stock of boxes and cups.
The older woman cocked her head up from her notebook and gave her a warm smile. Waves of pale curls bouncing around her face.
- Morning, darling, - she chippered. – You’re just on time. Mr. Seed is waiting for you.
She froze.
Glancing to the side, Jacob was sitting in the waiting room, a hunting magazine in his hand. He slowly got up and walked up to her, arms crossed.
- You didn't come to the church yesterday. I was wondering where you went. Now, go to the car. I’m taking you to Joseph.
Anna smiled. He really thought it was that easy?
She hurled the boxes at him, making him stumble back. Cake and coffee flew everywhere.
Before he could react, she ran through the door.
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
- Deputy!
She could hear Jacob yell as she got into her car and hit the gas.
This was bad, so fucking bad. She didn’t know what to do. This never happened. Jacob never bothered her, if she didn’t do it first. She wasn’t ready for this. This wasn't Jacob, who ignored her. This was Jacob, who was ready to break her and lock her up in the cage.
Think, Anna. Think.
She took a deep breath, keeping her foot on the pedal as she drove. All she needed to do was to hide away, until the next reset and then…
And then what? Keep doing that?
A glimpse of white caught her attention. Anna looked into the rearview mirror and saw a white pickup chasing her. A faint blob of ginger was everything she needed to know.
Plan. She needed a plan.
Go east to Henbane? North to Whitetail made more sense.
The reservoir and construction yard blurred past her window.
Or fuck this and go back south? He wouldn't look for her-
Before she could make a decision, her car jolted forward.
Her muscles teased, keeping the steering wheel from turning.
Her eyes snapped to the mirror again, only to see the pickup's bumper busted.
Immitetly, the car hit her rear-end again and she swirled. She couldn’t control the car-
Nothing.
Her head was pounding. Her muscles hurt.
Anna felt around, something soft was in front of her.
Slowly, she leaned back and saw an airbag allover her view.
What…
Carefully, she turned her head towards the window.
Water...
Great.
After patting down the airbag, she rolled down the window. The cold water spilled inside, causing her body to shiver.
Wiggling and squeezing through the tiny crack, pushing against the water until she was out.
Her legs ached as she kneeled down on the shore and looked around. She crashed into the small lake by Frobisher's Cave.
Shivers ran down her cold body.
- You have to make everything difficult, don'tcha?
She looked up and saw Jacob glare down at her from the edge of the slope. His flannel and face dirty with cake and coffee. Hands on his hips.
- Now, are you done with your little tantrum? You don’t want me to drag you by the neck to Joseph, do you?
She shook her head, very slowly reaching for her handgun.
- Get up. - he gestured with his head. - I’m already sick of this nonsense.
Quickly, she pulled out, loaded and put the gun to her temple.
The last thing she heard was Jacob’s scream:
- Don’t!
The alarm clock woke him up.
Jacob hit his fists against the floorboards with pure frustration.
That woman was unbelievable. Unbelievable and deadmeat. She wanted to play dirty? Fine. He’ll give her hell.
As he rummaged through his clothes, the door to his room cracked open and John poked his head in.
- Is everything alright? - he asked, a slight note of concern in his voice.
- I’m going hunting. - Jacob grumbled, pulling on a t-shirt.
John blinked a few times and walked inside. Crossing his arms over a bathrobe.
- It’s 7 am. What are you going to hunt at 7 am?
- It’s none of your worries. It’ll be over, before you notice.
He stayed silent, while his older brother grabbed his jacket and sniper rifle. Something must have clicked for John, because his eyes widened.
- You’re not going to hunt an animal.
Jacob just patted his shoulder and walked out of the room.
- Don't do anything stupid. - his younger brother called after him. - We can't afford covering up another body.
He wasn’t doing anything stupid. Far from it.
It was deputy hunting season.
Notes:
So, long story short, I'll be continuing this fic. Don't ask why, I don't know myself.
Currently, I'm updating and correcting the already posted chapters (nothing major, but I would advise reading from the start again) and this chapter is only to fill the weird jump I made three years ago.
The next proper chapter will be posted, after the 4-6 chapters are updated. Give me a week or so.
For now, thank you for reading and all the comments, kudos, and bookmarks.
And big thanks to my beta reader/friend for being willing to be pulled back into this mess, after three years. Love you xo
Chapter 4
Notes:
You know what is fun in writing a time-loop with Jacob Seed in it? You get things like this, and that's the best part.
Also, including this, because friend was disappointed there wasn't a beginning note on the previews one. Love you x
Enjoy~
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Anna cursed at herself for foolishly believing things would go smoothly. Especially now, with a pissed off military psycho chasing her ass.
- Fuck. Jacob. Seed. – she huffed under her breath, trying her hardest not to trip over roots and loose ground. – Fuck. You.
Crouching behind a fallen log, she gave herself a moment to catch her breath. The cold evening air pinched her scraped, bare legs.
She didn't waste any time after waking up, immediately jumping into her car with nothing, but a pair of shoes and drove north. Stopping only to rummage through a prepper stash to grab a gun to have a chance against him and the Hope County's fauna.
Slowly, she checked her shoes and zipped up the hunting jacket she took along the way, listening for any sound. A shotgun was weighing on her shoulder, loaded and ready.
The forests of the Whitetail Mountains were quiet. She could only hear the wind and her own heavy breathing.
Maybe he gave…
- Come out! Come out! Come out!
Jacob’s voice echoed against trees.
He was close.
- Come on, honey! Why don’t you come out and fight?!
Fight? Oh, that would be such a fair fight.
Carefully, she got up and made her way up the hill. Deeper into mountains.
Anna believed, Jacob thought she made a mistake by running into his territory, but she knew Whitetail by heart. From running errands and spending too much time searching for those godforsaken wolf beacons, to just going hunting and fishing, she recognized every rock and slope.
But she did wondered, how did he find her so quickly? Previous times, she'll admit, it was easy. She was disoriented and panicking, and Holland Valley wasn't the best place to hide. Too many open fields and people. Not enough places to disappear.
One, two, six... Too many lost rounds.
But here?
She could play the cat and mouse game for how long she wanted. All she needed to do was to avoid the concrete and beaten paths.
When Jacob was catching up to her, she would sneak behind rocks. When he climbed up, she moved to the lower grounds. And when there was water, she took the leap.
The sun was sinking into the ground, when exhaustion and hunger was getting to her. Skin itching from dirty and cuts, hair stuck to her neck and face, body burning and shivering.
Behind a rock, she took a deep breath and listened.
Heavy steps. Close behind her. Moving in her direction.
Her feet picked up speed.
It was a labyrinth of pounds, rocks, uneven terrain and trees. Familiar for too many reasons.
Anna tried to focus on her plan, but memories flashed inside her mind.
The red haze clouded her thoughts, seeping into her vision.
Sirens and howling blasted into the air.
“Only you could make this world seem right.”
Judges had her scent.
“Don’t fight it. Just… Let go.”
Chosen and Whitetails were searching for her.
“Tragedy just follows you.”
Jacob mocked her…
“If you really want to keep people safe… be a hero…”
No, no, no … This wasn’t real.
Not this time.
It was only them and the mountains.
She kept running, trees thickening and thinning out. Up and down the slopes.
There was a narrowing ahead of her. If only she could get there...
It was worth a shot.
She ran as fast as she could, feeling her body slowly giving up…
A shot rung through the air.
Sharp pain pierced her side.
Anna fell down on her knees.
Shit, shit, shit.
Not here, not now.
Clenching her teeth, she pressed down on the bullet hole and got back up.
Only a few steps and she already started struggling. Her breath shallow. Head getting lighter.
Please, just a little longer.
Her legs gave up. She hit the ground again.
She crawled to the nearest rock and pulled herself to sit on it.
Her body weighed a ton. Cold, but sweating.
- You don't give up, do you? - she groaned.
Through tears, she saw Jacob getting closer to her. Clothes wet and dirty, red hair sticking to his skin. That fucking smirk plastered on his face.
- You know your way around here. – he mused, reloading his red sniper rifle. He sounded a bit breathless. – Still, not enough.
- I know you're having fun, - she smiled, but it shifted to a grimace as she tried to move. - But it seems like a waste of time.
He almost smiled.
- Is it though? Look at you. - he tapped her forehead. - Exhausted and weak. Where’s that deputy Eli bet everything on? Where’s that woman, who killed Faith? Where’s the thorn in the side of the Project? - he put his fingers under her chin and tiled her head up. - Gone. Back to that little liar on a bridge.
Anna blinked. Bridge?
Before she could react, Jacob pulled away his hand and continued.
- You see, - he squatted to her eye-level. - I sacrificed my life for Joseph's cause. This whole project. Brick by brick, we build it all up from nothing with sweat and blood. And now, it doesn't matter. Because, you put a hold on it. We can't move forward, because the moment you die, it's back to planning a goddamn grill party. You, - he jabbed her with his finger. - Single-handedly stopped Eden's Gate. Good job. I'm sure, if that marshal of yours heard about it, he would give you a goddamn medal. You're a hero.
She took a deep breath, but it hardly passed to her lungs.
- Empires rise, empires… fall.
His brows knitted, slightly tilting his head.
This felt familiar to her, but this never happened before.
She looked around and it dawned on her.
This was the place where she killed him.
- Rome… Babylon… - she chuckled weakly, shaking her head. - You were right. There’s no win for me here. It all ends bloody. I die now and go back, or I watch the world crumble, it’s up to me. Both… Leave me with nothing.
He huffed a laugh, sitting down.
- That’s a smart girl. So, are you going to follow orders, - he pulled out a flask. - Or do you want another round?
He opened it and took a sip.
- Hunting me down for eternity? Sounds dreadful.
- You're a fine challenge.
He offered her his flask. Anna frowned at it and looked at him.
- You're still losing blood, - he shrugged. - You won't hold up for much longer. Consider this a break.
She didn’t want to accept it, but her mouth was dry.
She tried to lift her arm, but couldn't. It was hard to even stay awake.
That was the worst part, dying. It never got easier, or less scary. Although she knew, the moment her eyes closed, she'll be back on the couch, she couldn't forget.
The pain stayed. Memories stayed.
It was horrible.
Jacob carefully studied her, like a hunter would a wounded animal. He moved closer and put the flask to her lips. He didn’t wait, just poured it in.
Anna quickly swallowed, finding it was just water.
When the flask was empty, Jacob sat back down.
- Bringing back memories, hm? - she smiled.
He was not amused.
- Oh, come on. - she egged him on. - Don’t I remind you of Miller?
He shook his head, a ghost of a smile playing on his lips.
- Miller didn’t talk back. Miller knew to follow orders from his superiors. And Miller didn’t look at me with those goddamn doe eyes.
Anna couldn’t stop her eyes from closing, slipping deeper into exhaustion.
- So, ready to see Joseph?
- You know, - her voice was weak. - I'll admit, I was slaking off.
- Were you now? - he asked, low and dismissive.
When Anna opened her eyes, she found herself back on the couch.
A smile spread on her face.
This time, she’ll be the cat.
Notes:
This is the last of chapters I wrote just for myself and friend to get out of a writing block. It worked, but don't worry, I'm continuing this.
Sorry, for a shorter one. Editing, but it's better.
Thank you for reading and support ^^
Next chapter, next Sunday. (Edit: When I get there, I'll get there.)
(Possible delay to Monday, if I'll be too dead after concert to post it)
Edit: So that was a lie. Long story short: Taking a break, vacations. Will update as soon as possible. Next chapter is 2/4 done, but I can't write while on the trip (I mean, how to explain it to my boyfriend?).
Again, thank you for support and patiences 😌
Edit 10/02/25: Give me a week, she said. Two more to go.
Chapter 5
Notes:
So, hi. This is still going.
Sorry for the long break but things got... busy. (I'm blaming Fire Emblem) But I'm back and will try getting back on schedule.
Enjoy this short comeback.
Edit 11/02/25: I don't think this is short anymore ^^'
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
"The human brain is a fascinating thing, once you start poking around in there, it's surprising what you get it to do under the right circumstances."
By now, Anna’s mind was a curious thing. A jumbled mess fraying at the edges, filled with events that will and won’t happen again. Memories bled into reality and she struggled to recall things clearly.
She was forgetting what her life, before Hope County even looked like.
Yet, she remembered when she heard that line for the first time.
Crumbled on the ground, covered in dirt and blood, her arm... It was burned so badly, she couldn't look at it... Boomer was trying to comfort her, a peggie gasped for air next to her... and then she got the radio call.
She wanted to give up. She didn’t sign up for this madness.
But she didn’t. Somehow, she pushed on, despite her senses telling her it was a lost fight.
Jacob broke her, trained her and used her like a tool, but in the end, she killed him. And again, and again.
And she kept going. Found her rhythm, focused on living in this hopeless situation.
There was no purpose, but she didn't care. She was alive.
And then, he had to end it for her once again.
As much as Jacob's values and world views disgusted and terrified her, Anna had to agree with him on this one. Human brain was a curious little thing, but more fascinating was the human ability to adapt. To survive.
No more running. She had a new plan.
The door of the Seed Ranch finally opened, and Joseph with Faith in toe went to the parked cult car. Anna slightly moved a bush branch from her view, carefully watching them get into the car.
She checked her watch. Off by a few minutes, not good.
When the car disappeared down the road, she counted out.
Nothing. All clear.
She got up and went to the side door. Reaching into her bra, she pulled out a small lockpicking set.
Time to get to work.
A small perk of memorizing where every prepper stash was in the county, was getting anything you needed quite easily. A bigger perk of re-doing everything over and over again, was getting pretty good at everything needed to survive.
Quickly, the door gave up.
Her plan was simple, but every piece of it was sensitive. One thing won't work as she expected and the whole house of cards will fall.
As she walked deeper into the house, her heart beat like crazy, a knot started forming and twisting in her stomach. This was too risky and she only had one shot at it. If it fails, she'll lose all the possibilities for surprise.
God, she needed to get her shit together. For crying out loud, she did stupider things. She aced all of Clutch Nixon's stands out of boredom... Almost all. Fuck the wingsuit.
Anna took a deep inhale and slowly let out the air.
First things first, she was not going to do this in her pajamas.
Of all the rooms in the Ranch, John's room was the most... modern and tasteless. For a man who apparently lived a life of luxury and debauchery, his personal quarters had this air of cold sterility. Naked walls with only the essential furniture and little to no real decorations, only the cult cross hanging over a double bed and a small chandelier made of antlers. And of course, the sheets were blue and made of this shiny slick material. Horrible.
She quickly combed through his wardrobe and pulled out a pair of jeans, underwear and a black sweater.
To her displeasure, in the whole Seed household, only his clothes were her size.
She changed and tested, if the sweater didn't abstract her arm movement, before rolling up her clothes and hiding them under the bed sheets.
First clue.
Next, she made her way to Jacob's room, just to find it surprisingly small and empty. She was there once before, but it didn't change how odd she found it.
She saw his office at the Veteran Center more times than she could count. Half organized and half organic mess of work and life, but this? Did he even spend nights here?
Too clean for him. Too blank.
Glancing at the frames on the wall, she took a moment to look at the old photos.
Few damaged ones from when the Seeds were just boys, God, it was hard to imagine they were just innocent kids once. Those little souls pulled through hell of abuse and neglect. Sometimes, she felt for them, but it didn’t stop her from giving them what they deserved.
She quickly averted her eyes from a photo with baby John on Jacob’s knee. Still, she couldn’t look at babies without her heart tearing itself.
Many other photos were from different times in the creation of Eden's Gate, even one from the time they bought out the Youth Camp. Children and teens lined up in rows, with a smiling Joseph and black-hair Faith. Poor kids. Poor Lana.
And there was one she refused to admit, she held her eyes on for a little too long. Much younger Jacob, clean shaven and without a single scar, in a military attire. He was decent looking, she thought, too bad he turned out like this.
Where was she? Ah, right. The plan.
Anna searched through Jacob’s desk and dragged everything out. Documents, brochures, mockups, reports. She made it look like she was looking for something. Something in particular. When she was done, she put a specific one on the very top.
Second clue.
She bopped the stuffed hare on the nose and was about to leave, then she saw it.
The music box.
The small wooden box stood on the nightstand.
A cold shiver ran down her spine. It couldn't...
She got closer and gently lifted the lid. It wasn't wined up.
"Only you" the rusty metal plaque said. Never, she got such a close look. Something inside her tightened. It must have been special in some way, but to change it into a weapon? Heh, only Jacob's mind could come up with something like this. Only him.
Her fingers traveled to the key, but stopped and closed it.
She took it. One less trick in his sleeve.
Last stop, John's "plane room".
His office was littered with photos, blueprints and model planes, proudly labeled and presented. It made Anna think that maybe, just maybe in a different universe him and Nick might have been buddies. But then again, she did read his papers.
She grabbed the keys from the desk and went straight to the hangar.
On the way, she grabbed snips from a toolbox by the door and went downstairs, to be greeted by a shiny black plane. Waiting for a flight.
A smile sneaked onto her lips.
- Hello, Affirmation.
- I'm sorry Mr. Seed, but she called in this morning and said she wouldn't come. Poor girl got sick.
Jacob clenched his fists, but kept a neutral tone.
- Thank you, Nancy.
She disappeared. Fuck.
He looked everywhere, went to Rook’s house immediately after waking up, checked every lead. Nothing. Her car in the driveway, tracks cut short, nobody saw anything. No sign of where she went. Reports were empty.
"I'll admit, I was slacking off."
He liked that little change. More of a challenge.
- Do you want me to forward something to her? - Nancy asked, already grabbing a pen.
- No, nothing.
He was about to go, but Nancy waved him back to the front desk.
- If I may ask, - she whispered, leaning closer. - Did she do something to anger our Father?
Jacob didn't know how to respond, it was quite complicated.
He shook his head.
The door to the deputies' room cracked open and quickly closed, with something falling on the other side.
- Pratt, what are you doing? - Deputy Hudson's voice could be heard.
The old Nancy ignored it and tried again.
- I mean, I saw her leave in the middle of Father's sermon yesterday. I was wondering, - her lips twisted. - Please, Mr. Seed, understand her. The girl is new, she just got transferred here. Even Whitehorse was hesitant to let her work here.
He raised an eyebrow. He did read her papers, but there was nothing about this. Her applications and references looked normal.
- And why was that?
- Oh, I really shouldn't talk about it. It's... - she moved her head, fighting with herself, but finally said, - She got problems. Mental ones. That's all I can say. But again, if she's in trouble-
- I'm not the one who will judge her. - he said firmly. - Thank you again.
He left the sheriff department, thinking about his next move, but couldn't shake off the feeling something wasn't right.
Deputy showed nothing. Peak cognitive abilities, quick adaptation skills, physical form... Well, a lot could be better, especially in her field of work and age. But problems? They weren't in her records or included in the health checkups. Like her superiors wanted to hide them. The question was: where could he find it?
When he opened the car door, yelling busted out of the radio. Jacob sighed and got it.
He grabbed the speaker.
- What is it, John?
- Oh, finally you decided to respond. Great! Took you long enough.
He massaged his nose bridge.
- I was busy, what happened?
- Please, can you tell me, what is my plane doing in the mountains?
Jacob paused for a moment.
- What?
- MY PLANE, Jacob.
That bitch. He turned on the engine.
- Did you send people to the Ranch?
- Of course I did!
- Joseph knows?
- I can't get in touch with him. I guess he took that grill preparations to heart.
- Forget it, drop everything and get to the Ranch.
- Jacob, the followers can handle this by-
- Now.
At the very least, the project members didn't run around like headless chickens, but it was still not organized enough to Jacob's liking. They had a task, keep curious bystanders away and look for anything. But this bunch wasn’t trained for this, it wasn't their time yet.
No signs of a break in, he was informed by one of the members, who seemed to be the appointed leader. Jacob nodded and went to the house.
Of course, she wasn't stupid to leave obvious evidence.
He got to his room. At first, it didn't look like things were out of the ordinary, for a visitor, but to him, it was apparent. The desk was a mess and his music box was missing.
Missing.
He felt heat kindling inside him as he dragged his fingers where it stood. Considering she was conditioned, more than once it seemed, it was a good move.
He didn’t expect less from her.
His desk was covered in old documents, he had crammed inside it through years. Mostly useless outdated reports and marketing samples John shared with him for a second opinion. She must have been looking for something. But what? There was nothing useful there.
- Well, look at that. - John walked inside.
He turned around to see his brother holding up in front of him a black t-shirt with a faded print. It looked a lot different, not covered in blood and mud, but he recognized it.
- It suits you quite well. - he turned back to his desk.
- Are you fucking shitting me? - John huffed. - It's obviously a woman's shirt. Look. "Undying Love". Isn't it that shitty zombie Romeo and Julia B-flick?
- Haven't heard of that.
- You haven't… - he sounded offended. - Jacob, I was telling you that the new hack director filming in the radon mine made them.
- Doesn't ring a bell.
- You're pulling my leg, aren't you?
- John, there are more important matters than if I watched some stupid zombie film. Did anything go missing?
He sighed.
- Except for the keys and the plane, it doesn't seem like it.
- Considering you found a shirt in your room-
- Oh shit! No, no, no!
He ran off.
Jacob sighed. He loved his little brother, but sometimes he didn't understand his priorities.
He studied the papers, trying to figure out what the deputy was looking for. Right now, she was in the mountains, so it boiled down to only the Whitetail region.
One caught his eyes, a flyer for the Stone Ridge Chalet.
He smirked.
Bingo.
But this felt... too easy. She knew her way around the mountains. So, why did she need a flyer?
- Fuck, - John returned, pissed. - Jeans, underwear and my favorite sweater! Who does that?
- Which one? - he asked, grabbing his military jacket from the wardrobe.
- The black one. Shit, who in their right mind would do that?
- I have an idea. - he pulled in on and patted his brother's shoulder as he walked out.
- Oh, come on, - John shouted after him. - Don't do anything stupid!
Notes:
Yeah, Zombie DLC are real movies in this fic (I just love them too much, they're too much of stupid fun).
Thank you for still reading this ^^
P.S. to friend: I'll be updating this, please don't "bonk" me.
Edit 11/02/25: One more to go. I'm slightly impressed with myself. Slightly.
Chapter 6
Notes:
So its been a while, sorry for it but I was having small health issues. All is good for now, but I'll have less time to write due to personal life.
Don't worry, I'll be continuing this ^^ But the updates will be slower.
And finally, big thank you for reading and support <3
Enjoy~
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
The existence of Sasquatch in the forests of Whitetail Mountains could not be confirm or denied. After so much time, Anna couldn't be sure hers, but if her plan required her to believe, she was a true fan of Squatchin'.
She packed everything and turned to the man with a smile.
- Again, thanks for the bow and stuff, Dansky.
Dansky snorted and waved his hand, sitting back down into a lawn chair. It was easy to convince to help her. Too much noise might scare Bigfoot away, you know?
- Eh, you're too nice lady. As long as those fuckwads stop with the noise, pleasure is all mine. And it's Dicky.
She laughed, shaking her head.
- I don't think so.
- You're sure, you don't have time for at least one brewski? - he grabbed one from a cooler. - Local.
- I'm so sorry, - she pulled the backpack and bow onto her back. - But I'm on a tight schedule.
- Sure, sure. - he leaned back. - Good luck and watch out for those tools. They're a tough bunch.
She nodded.
Anna made her way down the slope to the stream, going over everything again. Only four arrows and materials for one remote explosive, not good, not good. She'll have to look for something more.
But now, her plan started to feel real. Stone Ridge Chalet was just on the stone rise before her.
It was slowly hitting her.
She hasn't felt like this since…
Since the first time. Even with the safety net of the time-loop, she wasn't letting herself slip even an inch. It was no longer only about survival. It was about showing him, they were more than just evenly matched.
When she got to the road, she half expected the corpse nailed to the tree to be there, welcoming her on the warpath.
But there was only an empty board.
"Cull the herd. Kill"
She could swear the words were there, but nobody wrote them yet.
Holding tight to the rope, she made her way up the stone wall, cursing under her breath for not taking any gloves with her. She was so used to having ones on her all the time during the Reaping, that this small detail didn't cross her mind. Either did bandage tape.
She grumbled under her breath, feeling her skin stinging already.
Then Anna heard something. Someone talking. She stopped and listened in…
“... doesn't care who you are... she eliminates without...”
She froze.
Her grip loosened and she slipped. Grabbing the rough stone, pain shot through her fingertips, but she held on and kept on listening.
“... they’ve made us soft. They’ve made us complacent. They’ve made us sick…”
Jacob's recorded preaching, Jesus Christ.
She sighed with relief and irritation, and continued her climb.
The moment she reached the top, she kept low and moved to the closest bushes.
She looked at her hands and she hissed. Scrapped and starting to turn red.
Anna clenched her fist and tried to remember how it should be.
Four cultists, two outside, two inside.
Peeking over the leaves, she noticed one was putting up the targets for knife throwing practice, not far from her hiding spot. The other should be in the front of the building, going over the obstacle course, and the rest inside should be deep into supple checks.
She closed her eyes, trying to imagine it.
The upstairs and downstairs office had phones, and a radio was staring her right in the eyes under a canopy, just behind the range.
God, let her be right.
She watched the cultist grab a few knives and have a test run. He went to collect them and while testing the next board, she quickly sneaked behind him to the tables. She pulled out the snips and cut the radio cable.
Without hesitation, she made her way to the building, staying on high alert the whole time she was inside. Luckily, the cultists there were too busy arguing about missing uniforms to notice the doors opening just a slightest bit and the quiet steps covered up by the preaching upstairs. Her hands shook a little as she pressed the slips. The phones were down.
Back outside, she moved to the front and looked around for anything she could use and not be noticed is missing.
Crates, sand bags, tires, tools…
Wrench.
Just on a crate, waiting.
Watching the guy walking around the obstacle course, she grabbed it and-
It slipped her fingers.
Cling!
She docked behind the boxes.
Wait.
Short of breath, she leaned out. He didn't notice anything.
She picked up the wrench and dashed to the watchtower behind the gate.
Fuck, that was too close for her liking.
Hiding away on top of it, she let herself calm down. Her heart was hammering inside her chest. Checking her fingers, she found they didn’t start to bleed. Oh, she got lucky.
But she did it.
All that was left now was to make the explosive and wait for Jacob to follow her bait.
"Majesty. Great oceans. Mighty forests. Vast deserts. And concrete..."
Anna mouthed the words along the looping recording, trying to keep herself too occupied to stress about her plan. It worried her, she could quote it from memory.
Her finger running along the edge of the music box, dragging along the lid, to the rust plaque, and over the mechanism. She should have throw it away, during her flight or off a cliff. But she couldn't part with it. When she was little, she had one, unsure what melody it played, and thought it would follow her thought out her life. Until it played its last notes against a wall.
Anna sighed, nudging at the key.
Only, if she could...
She glanced at her watch. It was taking too long. Will this even work? Maybe she over-
Gravel crackled under tires.
She raised her head from the wood floor and saw a cult pick-up park in front of the gate.
Jacob stormed out of it and walked to the cultist, carrying sandbags.
- Herald! - he fumbled seeing him, almost dropping the bags. - What brings you here? The inspection wasn't-
- Name.
Anna grabbed everything and slid down the ladder, crouched behind the car.
- Tucker. - the peggie stammered.
- Tucker, - Jacob emphasized it and continued. - Tell me, why is nobody answering the radio?
She stuck the remote explosive to the car’s bumper, listening carefully.
- T-the radio? But nobody called since morning.
- Did anyone check?
She pulled an arrow on the string and took a deep breath.
Now or never.
Up, draw, release.
The head pierced Jacob's calf. He groaned in pain and bent down.
Drew again and shot straight through the peggie's eye. He fell down.
Another one right in Jacob's arm. For good measure.
Cultist started running towards her from the obstacle course. She drew again and stuck the arrow in his neck. He went down immediately.
Her heart was beating like crazy. Ringing sounded in her ears.
Out of arrows.
She threw the bow away and grabbed the wrench from the ground.
It was a flash and before she got back to her senses, the rest of the cultists were nothing, but blooded bodies on the ground.
Anna couldn't catch her breath, her muscles trembled uncontrollably. She crouched down, pain finally hitting her. Her arm and side ached and burned, the sweater was wet from blood, both hers and the men's. She pulled on the wool, between sliced fabric, bright red cuts were visible, but luckily, they weren’t deep. Her knuckles turned white, still gripping the wrench.
Slowly, she stood up and wiped tears from her eyes. This wasn't finished.
Anna stumbled her way back to the car, now a burned wreck. The flames were already dying down.
Looking around, Jacob was nowhere to be found, only blood covered the ground.
Fuck.
There was a blood trail leading to the chalet.
Cautiously, she followed it, leading to the front entrance of the building. He wasn't dead, she knew he wouldn't go down so easily.
By the wall, she found the two arrows. Blooded and whole. He must have improvised something to stop the bleeding, otherwise he would break off the visible parts and wrap the wounds. He didn’t have enough time to sew the wounds, right?
Heavy steps.
She sneaked to the door and slowly looked inside.
Jacob slowly walked to the stairs, holding to the crates for support.
Hanging low, she rushed to him and swagged the wrench.
She struck the side of his head and he hit the floor.
When he didn’t move, she let out a breath.
Carefully, she studied him. He was breathing, his wounds bandaged with strips of his shirt. In his grasp was a handgun, he must have had it on himself. There were no firearms in the chalet, until the Reaping.
She pulled it out, stepped over his body, and went upstairs. She had some time before he woke up.
Her stomach growled, startling her.
Did she even eat anything? Maybe a candy bar back in the stash, or was it some different time?
Putting all her weapons on the nearest table in the dining area, she walked to the counter.
It seemed the peggies were preparing for a break. Eggs and bacon simmered in the pan, brown and crispy, with the yolk still liquid. Few slices of bread were put aside and even a jar of pickles was cracked open. Even a bowl of fruit was full.
It couldn’t go to waste, right?
Anna grabbed a plate and helped herself. But before she sat down, her plate was already almost empty. She sighed.
She could never get used to eating alone. The silence and loneliness was unbearable, even the radio couldn't help her. In those moments, she clung to the faint memories of her life, before this madness.
Her father waking her every morning before work, to have breakfast with her.
Her older sister coming over with her husband and daughter, just to banter with dad about the sitting arrangement during dinner. Even if she wasn't always frilled to see Maria, they always just ended up laughing about stupid things.
Her mother was a great cook...
Mom...
Her eyes burned.
A grunt and heavy footsteps sounded downstairs, slowly moving up. Towards the office.
Slowly, Anna got up.
Jacob moved towards the office, and after a moment something crashed against the wall.
- Fuck!
- I cut the cable. - she yelled back, reaching for the gun.
The minute a glimpse of red hair appeared in the doorframe, she pointed the gun and said:
- Take a seat, slowly.
Jacob raised an eyebrow, unamused.
- Thought you'd be already on your way to Henbane.
- I'd be an easier target there, than in Holland. Sit down.
He didn't move.
- Now!
Taking his time, he walked to a bench, slightly limping. Sitting down, he drew air through his teeth.
As she moved closer, keeping him at gunpoint, he carefully watched her.
For a moment, they kept like this, in complete stillness, waiting for the other. They both were in rough shape. Blood was flowing from his temple, down his neck. Her arm was going numb.
But neither even flinched.
- Well, Deputy, - Jacob finally said, leaning back against a table’s edge. - Are you going to shoot me or not?
She chuckled.
- No. First of all, killing you gives me nothing. Not even satisfaction.
He tilted his head, slowly smirking.
- Not even a little?
- It did, the first time I did it. But now, - she shrugged. - It gets old, just like you.
Something flashed in his eyes.
- And second of all, I didn’t bring you here to kill you. - she said with a smile.
- If not for killing me, what was it all for? The plane, the fucking cat and mouse game-
- To make you realise, - she cut him off. - Two can play this game. You want to hunt me like an animal? Fine, I’ll do the same to you. Didn't you realise this whole time you were trying to drag me to Joseph, I could have murdered you and no one would find your body? I could have poisoned your food, turn your men against you, drag you on a wild goose chase to your demise. The hunter becomes the hunted.
She waited for a response, and went none came, she continued. She gestured as she spoke.
- But this is pointless. I kill you, you kill me, I found a way to outsmart you, you will catch me off guard, over and over again. Like two rabid animals trapped in a cage jumping at each other from pure boredom. Everything stays the same in this limbo, nothing changes. There is no "weak" and "strong" here. Just us. - she stepped closer to him. - Only us. So, we can continue this and destroy each other until we’re nothing, but empty husks, or we can actually talk and figure something out. How does it sound?
His stare was more intense, piercing her. But it wasn't rage or hate, but...
- What are you smiling at? - she asked, feeling a cold shiver.
- I'm just admiring my work.
She blinked. Was... was she mimicking him the whole time... No, no, she wasn't right? Fuck. That bastard.
She played it off, trying not to seem bothered.
- And I thought John was the one with ego problems. My question stands.
- I'll give you mine. Why after all you have done, not only to me, but my brothers and this project, should I even trust you?
- Because I know how this time loop works. - she raised her voice. - What is there to not understand?
- How do you know Joseph isn’t aware of this?
- Because I did go to him. - I swallowed, trying to not remember it. - I tried. It was just me.
He shook his head.
- Of course he wouldn’t tell you anything. You’re a sinner. The Hell that followed. Wrath. - he pointed at her. - But with me there, he would talk.
She couldn’t contain her laughter.
- Oh, really? You think so?
His features twisted.
- Don’t test me. I know my brother.
- You don’t know the Joseph I know. - she felt tears in her eyes. - You don’t know the man, who didn’t avenge his family. You don’t know the man, who didn’t kill me, because he would be alone in his New Eden.
Jacob's face was unreadable.
Anna took a deep breath, her arm falling to her side. Tears ran down her face.
- You know what this means? - she asked, mimicking Joseph from the memory she wanted to bury as deep as possible. - It means the politicians have been silenced. It means the corporations have been erased. - she moved closer and closer to him, raising her arm. - It means the world has been cleansed by God’s righteous fire. But most of all… it means I was right. The Collapse has come.
She moved away from Jacob, wiping her face.
- Joseph was right. - she muttered.
- Joseph couldn’t be right.
She blinked and looked at him.
Jacob wasn’t looking at her, eyes burning into the ground. Hand covered his mouth.
- You were only meant to push us to the edge.
"The Great Collapse draws near," the preaching looped again, but this time she repeated the words out loud. "There will be wars, and famine, and death. It will be the end of the world as we know it."
- You didn't believe in it, did you? - she asked.
- I believed in Joseph, not this nonsense. - he snapped back.
She flinched, but smiled.
- Ah, right. I remember, you didn’t believe he talks with God.
He shot up from his seat, stumbling a little, but towering over her.
- Our father was the same. He thought he was doing God’s work and looked at how it ended. I’m here to protect my brothers, not listen to what so-called God, who didn’t care about my family, wants. Joseph… - he grimaced. - Gave me purpose and that’s all that matters.
Anna could feel his breath on her face and yet, she didn’t back away. Looking into his blue eyes, she saw just a broken man grabbing onto anything that would make him keep on living. They were pretty eyes.
- And how much did Joseph tell you? - she whispered.
- And you think you know more? - his voice a low and gravelly.
- I know what breaks the seals. I know what will happen until the very end. And I know everything about the Collapse. - after a moment of silence, she added: - And I can tell you everything.
She passed the handgun to her other hand and put it under her chin.
- Just come to me.
He shook his head, not taking his eyes off hers.
- I’ll wait on you. - she smiled and sang the last two words. - Only you.
Anna pulled the trigger.
Notes:
This got long by accident, but hey, better for you!
Again, thank to everybody for giving this fic time to read it. It was a nice surprise to go back after a while and see not only so many hits (like how?) but also bookmarks. Thank you for making my day a little brighter ^^
This time no promises about when the next chapter will be.
(Also, there is the possibility this chapter will change, be editing or change of details or cutting out of parts, in couple of hours or a day due to my beta reader not sending their opinion, yet. They have a final saying in what goes and what doesn't. This message will be deleted as soon as: a) they gave me a go, b) I fixed/edited parts as they noted and I posted a fixed version. For now, please enjoy this version ^^)
(Update: They gave me a ok, and said to no delete the note ^^)Edit 12/02/25:
*deep breath*
I'll be honest with you, reader. I lost my mind a little while correcting this chapter.
I don't know what happened, but I'm exhausted and pleased.
The next thing will be a new chapter, but because of this the 1/3 I already wrote needs changes for continuity purposes.
Thank you for your patience and I hope you're still enjoying this fic <3
Chapter 7
Notes:
Happy Valentine's day everyone <3!
This is going to be a short chapter, but it has a lot of info, so it's evens itself out.
Also, NOTICE:
if you're a new reader: Please continue reading.
if you're a returning reader after a long time: For the last week, I have been editing the previous chapters and for the continuity reasons, I would advice re-reading/refreshing from the beginning (especially chapter 6).
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
“And how much did Joseph tell you?”
Jacob couldn’t get the deputy’s words out of his head.
Sitting in the kitchen, for the first time in a long time, he didn’t know what to do.
Deputy slowly became an enigma. The things she said, the way she could mimic others. One moment, she was a weapon he shaped with his own hands. Just to be the same weak woman he met on a bridge that one rainy evening, the next. And in between, she was something else. A woman with deep brown eyes and a smile that overlooked fallen empires.
He couldn’t trust her.
But she knew more than he could wish for.
He put everything he had left into Joseph's vision. He would do everything his brother asked of him, and yet... How much did he keep hidden from him?
A snap of fingers pulled him out of his thoughts.
- Ah, you’re awake. - John smirked, sitting across the table from him. - I was starting to think you learned to sleep with your eyes open.
Jacob sighed and rubbed his face.
- Rough night? - his brother asked, tilting his head.
He could only nod. Even if he told John what was happening, he wouldn’t believe him.
- John, do you ever wonder, where would you be, if Joseph didn't find you?
He chuckled, almost choking on his food.
- In prison, where else?
"Dead on a curb", he thought, knowing exactly how it would end for him.
- Why? - John asked, putting his plate in the sick. - Suddenly feeling like reminiscing about the past?
- Past is the only thing left now.
When he didn’t hear any response, Jacob looked up at him. His brother’s brows were knitted, he almost looked worried.
- Is it, though? For example, - he quickly sat back down and started gesturing with his hands. - Tomorrow's grill. We'll eat and dance, like there's no tomorrow. For one day, no worries about the project, the sinners or the Collapse. - his smile faltered a bit, seeing he wasn’t convinced. But he recovered. - You could even bring your little deputy friend. Joe would be happy.
Jacob grumbled.
- John, why do you think there’s anything between me and that woman?
- Because I’m not stupid. First, of all the people, you’re running late to Joseph’s sermon and when you finally come, it’s with her. The new little deputy, all soaked wet and staying close to you in the back of the congregation hall. Then, - he moved his hand along the table. - She walks out in the middle of Joseph speaking. And you, - he slit his other hand to meet together. - Go after her.
He cringed at the memory of… yesterday? Yes, yesterday.
- It’s not how it looked. I only gave her a lift.
- Why?
That was a good question. Why? Why did he help her?
- I have nothing to confess. Me being late and her have nothing to do with each other.
- You know, - his brother leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms over the bathrobe. - I could share my suspicions with Joseph. It would be entertaining to see him lecture you for once. Have a long, nice sermon about lust and temptation. - he took a deep breath and sighed, moving his hands apart. - Jezebel, Delilah, the Whore of Babylon. - he smirked. - But at the end of the day, I want to see you happy.
He sighed. That was his little brother to you.
- You're going to Fall's End, right? Give me a lift.
Jacob knocked on the door to the rookie’s house, but only silence answered.
He clenched his jaw.
He knocked again with more force, but nothing. She wasn’t there.
She will wait for him? What a lie. The deputy was probably having some merry-old-time with Hudson and Peaches, and he was a fool for believing her.
He tried the door handle and to his surprise, it was open.
Jacob considered just going back and go on another hunt, but he remembered something. The corners of his mouth twitched.
He wasn't sure what he expected from rookie's house, but it wasn't this. Empty rooms with nothing, but cardboard boxes stacked together and unpacked. It looked barely lived in, only a pillow and blanket on the couch gave away someone actually occupied it.
This was eerily familiar.
He looked at the boxes.
Either sooner or later the deputy will come back, or he was left to his own devices. Both were good. They gave him a lot of time to meet the woman from a different side.
He took off his jacket, rolled up his sleeves and got down to work.
The first boxes gave him nothing, just some stupid trinkets and household objects. Well, he did found an unopened bottle of McHelen.
But with the next one, he struck gold.
Folders and documents. Photo albums and certificates.
A smirk played on his lips as he pulled everything out and started reading.
Soon, a picture of a young deputy from Great Falls was put together. An average student, with no behaviour issues, but excessing in swimming and baseball. It was a shame she fell behind so much, if she actually continued, something might have become of her.
But nothing he was looking for.
He took a swing from the bottle and opened the photo album.
The scowl on his face grew as he looked through more and more pictures.
She had a happy family, parents and an older sister. The whole album was filled with photos of mundane things and family vacations. There was no lead here.
He paused at one of the family photos at a barbeque, feeling some envy. He and his brothers didn't have a lot of photos from their youth, and few they did, didn't bring any happy memories.
The floor was littered with papers. Jacob took another sip of the whiskey, trying to make something out of this.
He kept digging.
He threw everything aside, trying to find something. Anything.
Suddenly, underneath some clothes, he found a shoe box. He raised an eyebrow and picked it up. It was heavy. Too heavy for shoes.
Gotch ya.
Taking off the lid, he saw more photos, but those were different. They weren’t with her family, but… with a man.
As he went through them, a new story formed. Sickly cute couple photos, scenes from prom and finally a wedding. But…
Jacob furrowed his brows.
He put a photo from the prom and wedding next to each other. He swore the deputy looked exactly the same in both of them.
Inside the box was just a small box and a bundle.
He opened the box to find two wedding bands.
Ah, she married young and got divorced. But why?
The bottle of McHelen was empty, when he picked up the bundle. Slowly, Jacob unwrapped it and saw... baby clothes and a photo of an ultrasound.
But not even one photo of a child.
Something clicked. He remembered when Joseph was telling her his story. She seemed bored and unattentive, until he got to the part about his daughter. In a moment, she glared at him with pure hatred.
He sighed and laid down on the floor.
The pieces fell together.
Deputy got married young to her highschool boyfriend, because she got pregnant. Somewhere along the way, she lost the child and got divorced, nothing was keeping them together.
This explained a lot.
Still, that was in the past and she wouldn’t be in the state he found her, because of this. There was something else he couldn’t find.
He looked at the ultrasound again and could only think about his niece. Sometimes, it felt like she never existed. Joseph never talked about her and either him or John brought it up with him. Neither did the members of Eden's Gate knew, only being aware of their Father's sacrifice, but not what it was.
Jacob knew he wouldn’t be good with children, men like him forgot how to be patient and gentle with them. But even so, he wished he could have met her, even for those few minutes she existed. She was family.
He missed so much.
Anna would be lying, if she said, she didn’t miss the down time between the resets, especially now when she needed to be around other people. Calm her mind and forget about Eden’s Gates doings. She needed to go back to normal, but…
She needed Jacob on her side.
She tried to remember everything she knew for sure about the Collapse, every detail, every scrap of anything important. Maybe, just maybe, things will finally change.
- Somebody should just bomb that thing. - Staci muttered between sips of his drink.
It was obvious what he was talking about. Anna glanced up from her unfinished paddlefish, at the statue of Joseph Seed. She couldn’t describe how much she hated that thing. As if her hatred of Henbane wasn’t enough, that reminder of the sole reason why everything in Hope County was tainted could be seen from everywhere. Even here in the marina.
- Unfortunately, it’s on private property. - Joey sighed. - Not even mayor Minkler can do something about it.
- But let’s say, someone…
- About six rockets. - Anna said without thinking.
Joey and Staci were staring at her, surprised. She quickly added:
- That’s my best guess. It wouldn’t be hard to destroy it. Looks pretty hollow.
Staci pointed at her with his hand, turning to Hutson.
- See? She gets it.
Hutson rubbed her face, exasperated.
“Superbia.” Anna thought, looking one more time at the stone head. Invidia, luxuria, gula, acedia, avaritia. No superbia. No ira.
- It would be easier to get rid of that thing, if that nutjob was locked up.
A smile tried to sneak on Anna’s face, when Adelaide walked up to them. She served them all smoothies. “On the house.” she muttered.
- Don’t worry, Mrs. Drubman, - Joey insured her. - Whitehorse is working on it.
- He has been working on it for three years, sweetheart. And still…
- It shouldn’t be that difficult, right? - Staci asked. - I mean, evidence is everywhere. Everybody knows what he and his cult is doing.
- It’s not about what Joseph Seed has done, - Anna shook her head. - It’s about proving he did something illegal. The FBI burned themselves on Waco and Ruby Ridge, they’re more careful now, especially with cults. They won’t touch Eden’s Gate for many reasons. It wasn’t the first and probably won’t be the last. Registered as a church, everything following the law, all that’s needed is one hiccup. Let's say a video gets leaked, showing something incriminating Joseph and with that we could get a warrant to arrest him and the rest would come up in investigation.
That was how it was supposed to be. Arrest Joseph and bring him to justice. But no. Instead, she got trapped in this endless loop.
Adelaide whistled.
- You know an awful lot about this, sweetheart. Maybe you’re just the thing this county needs.
Anna shook her head.
This county didn’t need one more broken person.
Notes:
Finally, after three years, I give you more info about my deputy. Yay, I guess.
I don't know how I got a green light from my beta reader, after finishing this, while being drunk off gingerbread beer.
Thank you for reading :)
And thank you to my friend/beta reader. I love you, bitch. I will never stop loving you, bitch (affectionate).
Chapter 8
Notes:
This and previews chapter were supposed to be one, but with the amount of informations, it's better this way.
Get ready for a lot of yapping.As always, big thanks to my beta reader.
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
The farmlands of Holland Valley were bathed in the golden glow of the setting sun, when Staci dropped Anna off in front of her house. They lost time showing her around Hope County, trying to check off the best places. Even if she knew it by heart, it was fun to spend a few moments with her co-workers. They wanted her to feel welcome, even with Project Eden’s Gate looming over them. It was such a sweet thing, but such a naive one in hindsight.
It was a nice day.
- Are you sure, you don’t need anything? - Pratt asked her, leaning back against his car. - I could come over, if you want.
She chuckled. Oh, she knew where this was going.
- I appreciate it, Staci, but I need some alone time right now. I have a lot to think about.
- Or I could kidnap you on a nice quad ride in the mountains. - he gently took her hand. - I know a nice remote cabin. We could start a campfire and roast some marshmallows.
Anna sighed, pulling her hand away.
- Staci, it’s very nice of you, but I’m not ready for anything. Not right now.
He smiled and nodded.
- It was worth a shot.
They exchanged goodbyes and soon, she watched as Pratt drove off.
He tried a few times before, taking her niceness for showing interest, but she couldn’t do it to him. Not when she would remember and he would go through hell. Staci deserved better, he deserved to be happy. And she couldn’t give it to him.
She sighed and walked to her house.
- Ah, about time you came back. Thought I’d have to go and get ya…
A shiver ran through her body. She gripped onto the handle as she froze in the doorway.
Jacob Seed was sprawled out on the couch, feet on the coffee table, surrounded by her belongings. That smirk painted on his face.
Everything, everything was scattered on the floor. All the boxes were empty. Nothing was left untouched. Not even…
Her eyes stung when she saw the little onesie on the floor.
She could swear Jacob was talking, but Anna just kneeled down and carefully picked up the onesie, like it could fall apart from touching it. Also out of instinct, she folded it and put it with others, before wrapping it in a blanket. She couldn’t look at the little embroidered name.
As she laid it back into the shoebox, it was almost with an anointment. His last rite all over again.
She didn’t want the world to know about her baby.
Her son.
Anna looked back at Jacob, his smile gone, and she never wanted to see him back on that rock so much before.
After taking a deep breath, she got up and took off her deputy jacket.
- You have absolutely no shame. - she hissed and threw it at his face. - Rummaging through my stuff?
He grabbed it in the air and tossed it aside.
- It doesn't matter.
- To you. But no, you just need to know how to break me, dontcha?
Without thinking, she took off her shoes and one by one threw them at him, but only hit the couch. He didn’t move.
- I know nothing about your personal life, it would be stupid not to use the opportunity to get to know you.
- You could’ve at least taken off your shoes, it's not a Veteran Center. Oh, look. - she picked up an empty bottle of McHelen. - You drank my whiskey. Was it good?
She threw it and barely missed his head. The glass shattered against the wall.
Jacob didn’t even flinch.
She knew she should calm down, she needed to get him on her side, but she was fuming. Out of everyone, why him?
- We're even. - his voice was low. - You should be grateful I’m taking you up on your offer. Now, sit. - he gestured to the armchair in front of the couch.
She shook her head, crossing her arms.
- It’s an order.
They watched each other, waiting for the other to break first. Either wanted to back down, the tension was palatable.
- Where should I start? - Anna finally asked.
He sighed and leaned back against the couch.
- The Collapse.
Of course. Let’s start from the end.
- It's real and it'll happen.
Jacob groaned and massaged his nose bridge.
- Fire and brimstone?
- Nuclear bombs.
He paused and looked up at her.
- Bombs?
When she confirmed, he scoffed.
- Who would want to bomb Hope County? Joseph chose this place, because it’s safe.
She waved her hand, starting to walk around the room.
- Good question. I couldn’t find this one out. My best guess, Joseph might know something about it, considering the weird timing.
- Weird?
- It’s not set. They’ll only fall when all the seals are broken. The connection between them… - she tapped her finger against her lips. - That’s something I can’t figure out. I don’t think it’s the government, but I have no leads. Next question.
Jacob opened his mouth, but quickly closed it. His brows knitted and asked:
- You said the end of the time loop happens on the 7th or it depends. Depends on what?
She raised an eyebrow.
- Oh, you remember that? Well, there are four conditions for the loop to reset. Two of them are, I don’t arrest Joseph on the 7th or I’ll die.
- And the rest?
- Next question.
- Answer me. - his fists clenched.
- Everything must be in the right order. Question.
- The seals. - he growled. - What breaks the seals?
Anna sighed. That one won’t be easy. She walked to the open kitchen.
- An act that pushes everything to the edge. - she grabbed a bottle of wine from a cabinet.
Jacob cleared his throat.
- You don’t like wine. - she muttered while opening it.
- Alcohol is alcohol. We won’t get through this sober.
- Fair point. - she took a swing, grimacing from the sulfuric taste, and went to hand the bottle to him. - The first was the failed arrest. The last three were the kidnapping of my friends, my refusal to surrender and ultimately defeating Joseph.
He grabbed the bottle and looked at it. It was just Pinot Noir.
- You missed two, three and four.
- Those… - she sighed, preparing herself for his reaction. - Are yours, John’s and Faith’s deaths.
He stopped, bottle pressed to his lips. His eyes moved to her. Slowly, he took a gulp and put the wine on the ground.
- By your hand?
- Yes.
His eyes burrowed into her and then… He laughed.
Anna never heard him laugh like that. It was so broken and yet, there was some hopeless humor in it.
- You? You managed to kill all of us?
- It’s not that hard.
- Faith? I believe it. But me and John?
She crossed her arms. She could feel his eyes move all over her, slowly realizing. His face not saying much.
- I’m curious. What order?
- Well, - she swallowed. - Faith, you and John last. I always start with Faith. Eliminate the weakest link first, they say. Don’t look at me like that. - she snapped at him, catching him looking at her that way again.
He huffed a laugh.
- So, the seals are broken, the Collapse is happening, how does it end?
Anna sighed. Walking up to the window, she looked outside at the dark silhouettes of trees. She didn’t want to remember that again.
- It’s just me and Joseph left, stuck in a bunker together. Everyone else is gone.
- Which bunker?
- Dutch’s. All the other ones are destroyed.
He sighed.
- You really destroyed everything we have been working for.
- And here are the two last conditions of the resets: I walk away from fighting Joseph or I end up in a bunker with him.
- So, even with the Collapse happening-
- There’s no win. - she finished. - Neither for Eden’s Gate or the Resistance. There’s no New Eden or a way out. - she turned around to look at him. - It always goes back to the 5th. We are trapped.
Silence.
Jacob was thinking, hand pressed to his mouth, brows knitted together.
Unsure what to do with herself, Anna started tidying up. It was pointless, but she needed a distraction. She knew it was a lot to take in, but at least he had everything presented to him and not slowly hammered in after another loop.
- If my purpose was to die from your hands, - he muttered. - But neither of us can die now… Can the Collapse even happen?
- I don’t know. - she struggled, packing another box. - But honestly, it doesn’t matter. I’m pretty fine with living without purpose.
She put aside the box and went to get another, when she noticed the look on Jacob’s face. It was… empty.
It hit her.
He lived, because of his purpose.
But without it…
Notes:
Note to self: Stop listening to "Dark Red" on loop, while writing.
Thankfully, we're done with info-dumps for a very long while. I was running thin on ways to make it interesting ^^'
Thank you for reading.
Chapter 9
Notes:
Jesus, this took longer than expected. Mostly because halfway though, I realised I forgot some important things ^^' That's what you get when you continue a fic you stopped three years ago.
Warning:
The second half of the chapter will turn heavier in tone and subject. Be cautious while reading after the line.
Enjoy~
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Jacob Seed was gone.
Anna knew she needed to give him time, he needed to digest everything alone and she respected that. It took her at least fifteen resets to accept the reality, she couldn't do anything.
But then he wasn’t in the church. And again, and again. Four arrests and he wasn’t there. It only made her uneasy. At the end of the day, Jacob wasn’t there and she feared what he was doing. She shot her luck and tried to find him. No plan, just talk.
But she couldn’t find him. He became a ghost and deep down, even if she didn’t want to admit, Anna didn’t want him to be alone.
Against her better judgement, she knocked on the door of the Seed Ranch.
It didn’t take long for Joseph to open it. His dark brown hair hanging around his face, thick rim glasses hanging on that tip of his nose. He was getting ready to oversee the Eden’s Gate’s grill party.
He stopped buttoning up his vest and looked at her, a little surprised.
- Good morning, Mr. Seed. - she smiled politely, her hands behind her back. - Deputy Anna Obuchowska. Is your brother home?
He sighed, exasperated. His hand went to his forehead.
- Dear Lord, what did John do this time?
- No, it's about Jacob.
He raised a brow.
- I see. Please, come in.
She nodded and walked inside, doing her best to look like she wasn’t forcing herself to act like a deputy. Like she didn’t want to stay away from him.
Pretending she was looking about the big living room, she set her eyes on the portrait of Joseph hanging about the fireplace. She arched her brow, like it was her first time seeing it, but she was too familiar with it. It was good for training aim.
Joseph’s steps sounded behind her.
- May I ask, what's the problem, deputy?
She looked back at him. God, how much she hated his smile.
- The oldest Mr. Seed was written off for not having a valid hunting licence and was supposed to come to our station for further questioning, which he didn't do.
- I see, of course, but I'm afraid he's not here.
She sighed and massaged her nose bridge, wanting him to think she was tired and already done with it.
- Maybe you know, where can I find him?
He rubbed the back of his neck.
- Jacob... If he doesn't want to be found, he won't be, I’m afraid.
- I’ll do with anything, sir. Maybe there’s a place, where he likes to spend time? One of your church’s properties? A remote cabin or something like that?
That was her best guess. Either Jacob was drowning himself in work and pretending everything was fine, or he was drinking himself somewhere in the forest. Former was more likely, but latter, although it was cruel of her, was funnier.
- No, no, there isn’t. - he shook his head. - But he might be somewhere in Whitetails Park. That’s my best guess.
Of course he was avoiding answering. All she needed was confirmation, Jacob wasn’t doing anything stupid.
- Mr. Seed-
- Please, call me Father.
- Mr. Seed . I don’t think you’re aware of the seriousness of this situation. Your brother might be fined up to 1,000$, be imprisoned up to six months, or both. And if we find out he’s a repeat offender, those numbers rise to 10,000$ and a year.
He didn’t look bothered, of course he didn’t. He knew they couldn’t to jackshit.
- Anna, can’t I call you Anna, my child? - he asked calmly, ignoring her grimaced. - There’s nothing to worry about. Whatever fine there will be, we’ll pay it.
- If you say so. The department will send over the fine then. One more question, has your brother been acting weird lately?
His brows knitted at her question, but he shook his head.
- Elevated mood, extreme anxiety or agitation, avoiding contact with others, anything?
- He’s the same as he always was.
- Very well, I have no more questions. I won’t take more of your time, sir. Thank you. I’ll take my leave then.
As she was about to walk away, Joseph’s question made her skin crawl:
- Dear, weren’t you yesterday at my sermon?
The sermon. That fucking sermon.
She took a deep breath and smiled at him.
- No, sir. You must be mistaking me for someone else.
- No, - he said firmly, walking up closer to her. It took Anna’s whole willpower not to take a stepback. - I recall faces quite well and, afterall, you were in the back with my brother. With Jacob. - he added with a smile, showing her, he knew she lied.
She swallowed, feeling her body go cold. Joseph wasn’t like the rest of his family. He didn’t cloud your senses like Faith did. Wasn’t a self-righteous sadist just like John. He couldn’t break you down mentally and physically like Jacob. He was dangerous in his own right. A wolf in lamb of God’s clothing.
- Ah, yes, that’s right. - she chuckled weakly. - I’m sorry, a lot happened yesterday I forgot for a moment.
- Well, it was surprising to see my brother bring someone with him, my dear child. That never happens.
- He just gave me a lift.
He laughed, the sound made her ears ring.
- I’m not accusing you of anything, child. I know Jacob, he wouldn’t do anything sinful. What I meant, I once told my family, if they ever find a lost lamb in need of guidance, they must help them find their way to my flock. - he frowned. - And yet, it seemed my words didn’t speak to you and you turned your back on me. Why was it my child? Did I say something that made you despise me?
She didn’t say anything, looking away at the small decorative plates. She hated him, but back then she didn’t even know him and yet… Did it show on her face back in the convent? The moment she snapped back?
- Yesterday's sermon was about loneliness, suffering and purpose. - Joseph continued, his hands folded together, eyes full of empathy. - How it all leads our lost souls to God and to our family. It was quite a long one, I'll admit. I have a tendency to talk when my children are listening. I’m not sure how much you caught…
- Bless the name of those who have dealt you blows. - she quoted the Word of Joseph with a flat tone. - Be grateful to those who have caused you harm. For it is these sufferings that have led you to me.
His smile turned warmer, almost fatherly. Her stomach twisted.
- You read my work then.
- I’m painfully familiar with it, yes.
- Oh, and for someone who hasn't been here long, I’m fluttered my words reached you. Spoke to your heart. You’re from Montana? Different county, yes? Something must have guided you to Hope County and our family. Fate maybe?
She sighed. She always hoped it was just her choice.
- Just my stupidity.
- But that makes me wonder, if my words stuck you, why did you walk out, my child?
- I’ll admit, you speak some truths about how the world and people are, you weave the right picture that makes people want to follow you. To listen. To obey. - as she spoke, Anna didn’t quite notice she started to gesture, something familiar in her movement. - People want stability. People want community. People want to belong. People want to be happy again, and have a purpose in this world. Be a part of something bigger than them. They want to hear: “You are all special. You are all engaging, that you are all fantastic and capable and wonderful.”.
She clenched her fist, slightly shaking it.
- I was one of them. I should have been one of them. But when I heard you talk for the first time, as I stood there lost and soaked wet, just moments ago pulled away from doing something stupid by a man I didn’t know, hearing you talk about how the suffering and pain in our lives are tests from God, I felt something I haven't in a long time. Do you know what it was?
It took Joseph a second to snap back from staring at her. Was she mimicking him?
- Hope?
- Oh, no. I felt angry. - a smile sneaked its way onto her lips. - Angry, because people told me the same exact thing, when I found my mother. The exact thing, when I was told there was no heartbeat. “God is testing you, Anna. He’s testing you and your faith the same way he tested Job.”. No. It’s just life. To live is to experience the good and the bad. There’s no point to it and that's the beauty of life. It’s not planned and you make the choices. - she shook her head. - Although now, I don’t have much choice, but I have some. I can ignore a man, who destroyed my life or offer him a hand. It’s up to me and deep down, I’m still a stupid girl burning bibles with a blooded lip.
And she made her choice.
A dumb, moronic choice.
It was hard to say what was going on inside Joseph’s head, but he looked intrigued.
- Wrath and sloth. - he finally said.
- Ira et acedia.
He shook his head with a faint smile.
- It’s your choice, my child, but it’s never too late. There’s still hope for you, Anna. You’re always welcome to atone and join us in Eden.
Atonement wasn’t for her. She proved it many times before.
- I’m sorry, Father , but I’ll never follow a man, who killed his own daughter.
Joseph’s face crumbled at her words. Confusion, shock, disbelief, all mixed together.
Speechless.
“Then nothing… stillness.”
A broken whisper escaped his lips:
- How?
- The Lord giveth, and the Lord taketh. - she shrugged. - I’m rather happy Faith can’t see you now. I’m sure she and Grace are better off on the other side, away from you and the Voice.
Anna watched him for a while, his face pale. It was satisfying for a short moment, but it quickly passed.
She nodded her head in goodbye and went through the Ranch’s door. She needed to reset the time loop soon, because when Joseph comes back to his senses, he’ll send his cultist after “the false prophet”.
She looked up at the sky. It was a nice cool day, but when her eyes closed, she felt cold rain on her face.
It rained so badly yesterday.
She took a deep breath. For the first time, she could breathe again.
“Where are you going, deputy?”
The next 5th of September, Anna was getting ready to go search the whole Whitetails Mountains in hopes to finally talk with Jacob and she will be damned, if she won’t turn every stone in that national park, when she saw the deputy car stop in front of her house.
That never happened before.
She put down her backpack and went to the window.
Pratt was in the driver’s seat…
Why did he look panicked?
She grabbed her deputy shirt and jacket, and went outside, just in time as he opened the car door.
- Grab your uniform and get in! - he shouted.
- Got it, got it.
- Come on, it’s urgent!
- Slow down, what happened?
- We got a call, Joey is already on the site, it’s bad.
- Staci, deep breaths. - she got into the passenger seat and started buttoning up her shirt. - Who called?
- The Seeds.
Her stomach dropped.
He didn’t…
- Staci, what happened?
- I think… - he ran a hand through his hair. - I think Whitehorse will get his warrant.
As they walked inside, the whole Seed family was in the living room. John was paced around the room, still in a black bathrobe, hair a mess, mumbling something under his breath. Joseph was bawling his eyes out on the couch, with Joey trying to calm him down to no avail. Faith tried to help her, sitting next to him. And Jacob…
He wasn’t here.
The moment Hudson saw them, she looked less tense.
- Great, you’re finally here. Anna, stay with Mr. Seed. Pratt, go upstairs- Anna!
Her foot was on the first step, when her co-worker grabbed her arm.
- Please, stay here. You don’t want to see it.
- I’ll be fine.
- No, you won’t! It’s a… - she didn’t finish. She didn’t have to.
Despite her warning, Anna went straight to Jacob’s room. Her legs felt weak with every step, as faint memories made all of this too familiar.
Her heart was pounding.
The door to his room was slightly cracked open. With a small hesitation, she pushed it and all she saw was red.
Red.
Red wall and a cold body. The air smelled like copper, metallic on her tongue, musty and sickly sweet.
She saw his dead body so many times and yet, this felt wrong. So, so wrong.
Everything stopped and Anna just looked at him.
This stupid old man.
It was odd, almost abnormal to see him gone without a fight. He should have fought her, he should have had that stupid smirk of his face as he took his last breath.
He shouldn’t be alone.
Anna made a gun gesture with her hand and put it under her chin. That’s what he did. What she did.
“Weak.” the word echoes in her mind, but it wasn’t true. It never was.
The time loop only went back to the beginning, if she was gone. How unfair.
Hearing footsteps, she grabbed the music box, speckled with blood, and hid it in her jacket pocket.
- Anna, how are- Jesus Christ!
Pratt stumbled back, almost tripping over the threshold.
- It was a suicide. - her voice sounded hollow. - Secure the room, look and collect personal belongings, especially notebooks and notes. I need some air.
Her legs moved on her own, guiding her down the stairs and straight outside to the porch. The music box was weighing on her, heavy like a rock. Why did she take it? It meant nothing to her.
She sat down on the edge of the wooden platform.
It was her fault.
Again, it was her fault .
If only… only…
“Oh, only you can make all this change in me.”
Her hand found the wooden box.
This time, she just needed to go back.
But will he listen?
- …ty? Deputy!
John’s voice made her jump and whip her head towards him. He was looming over her, his eyes red and puffy.
- Did you find it?
- Found what? - she asked, her voice breaking. She put a hand to her cheek. It was wet.
- The signs of a break in, of course!
She sighed and stood up. John was an inch shorter.
- Mr. Seed, there was no foul play. It was a suicide.
- You’re wrong! - he yelled at her. - He couldn’t do it! He was fine. He was doing perfectly fine. He promised we would never be separated again. - he pointed his finger at her. - It was you, wasn’t it? You caused this?
Anna shook her head. He didn’t know, how right he was.
- I’m sorry, John.
- Oh, you will be sorry! - he grabbed her shoulders. - I’ll make you confess, what you did. I’ll pull every single sin out of you, until you spill what you did to him. Hm? You seduce him? Tried to rip him away from us? What did you do, woman?!
She let out a shaky breath, tears falling down her cheeks. It wasn’t out of fear or anger. She knew his pain and anger too well.
- I’m sorry. I only kissed him.
Laugh. That’s all John did. Laughed in her face, fingers digging into her shoulders. But soon, it turned into sobs. Low, broken sobs.
He yanked her into a tight embrace and buried his face in her shoulder. His cries shook his whole body.
- I’m sorry, John. I’m so sorry.
Anna gently caressed his back. Not of the Baptist, but of a little boy, who lost his older brother again.
Notes:
Oof, that was a ride, wasn't it?
Big thanks to my friend/beta reader and I'm sorry I didn't told you what this chapter was about beforehand ^^' Love you xx
If anyone is wondering, yes, I did fact checked the fine prices. They're from Montana Code Annotated 2023, title 87, chapter 6, part 3, 87-6-301 Hunting, fishing, or trapping without license.
Also, if you want to address me, the author, directly, just call me Bean.Thank you for reading~
Chapter 10
Notes:
The word of today is: ~shaming~ and ~generational trauma~
On more serious note, there'll be few updates at the end note.
Enjoy~
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
The alarm woke him up.
Jacob sighed, finding himself back on the wooden floor of his room. The cold boards always eased his aching muscles, but no comfort. Never comfort. That annoying beeping of the alarm clock was blasting through the air, but he had no energy to turn it off.
Back to square one. There was no escape.
- Did you know you’re truly dead when your brain suffocates from the lack of oxygen in your blood?
He groaned and covered his face, hearing the familiar woman’s voice.
Fuck. He couldn’t escape her.
- What are you doing here?
- You shoot yourself and it turns out, if you die the time-loop doesn’t reset.
So, his death was even more meaningless.
- Great. Absolutely fucking great.
He lifted himself into a sitting position and glanced at her. Immediately, he regretted it. Deputy sat cross-legged on his bed, just in her pajamas and work boots. It was an unpleasant surprise to see her in that kitsch t-shirt and shorts where she didn’t belong. Her eyes slowly moved over his body, moving from scar to scar, from burn to shrapnel. At least, there was no pity in them.
- Get out.
She shook her head.
- I want to talk.
His lips twisted into a grimace.
- Then talk. We have eternity, don’t we? We’re not getting out of this, by yours or mine hands.
A sigh escaped her lips. She moved her feet to the floor and leaned closer to him.
- I know it’s hard, but doing things like that will only hurt you. - her voice was calm, like she was trying to sooth him. It only made it worse. - Our bodies might go back, but our minds suffer permanent scars. You don’t feel it yet, but everything will slowly melt together and pain is the strongest feeling remembered. Happy memories are fleeting, but anger, pain and sadness stay and grow like canc… - she cleared her throat. - What I’m trying to say is, right now our worst enemy is not us, but ourselves.
He said nothing, just watched her. Jacob knew what she was trying to do. Repay a debt. He tugged her from the edge and now she wanted to do the same. How naive, how stupid.
Yet…
- What does it change?
- For one, I don’t want to fight you. And also, actions have consequences. Big or small. For example, guess who had to comfort your family, after your death.
It hurt to admit, but it didn’t matter. Nothing mattered anymore. He didn’t want to make his brothers cry because of him again, but now they were back in their beds and that never happened.
- How did they react? - he asked, not really wanting the answer.
- Not lightly. You think I like being John's shoulder to cry on?
He huffed a laugh.
- Did he threaten you?
- How did you know?
- I didn’t expect less from him. And Joseph?
- Bawling his eyes out, how else? He always breaks down when you die.
He furrowed his brows, something not adding up.
- Always?
- Yes, why?
Why would he, if… No. That didn’t…
He jumped to his feet and rashed outside, just for the deputy to catch his arm.
- Jacob, please.
- Stay out of this.
- No, listen to me.
- I need answers.
- I gave you answers.
- Not your answers.
Deputy opened her mouth to snap back at him, but stopped, eyes widened. She was staring at something behind him.
He turned and saw John staring at them by the bathroom door. His mouth was hanging open.
For fuck’s sake.
- In my house. Under my roof. I can’t believe it. A den of sin, right under my nose.
Joseph's scolding always irked him, but now he was boiling from how wrong he was. His brother was walking back and forth in front of them in the living room, still in his old man pajamas. John and Faith were standing close by, with his youngest brother smirking like it was the best day of his life. Jacob knew he was hoping that snitching on him would get him back into Joseph’s graces, even if just a little bit.
Deputy was just quietly observing everything, sitting next to him on the couch. She seemed curious where this whole monolog was going.
- I’m disappointed- No. I’m aghast. - Joseph continued. - I would forgive, if you have turned to the bottle, brother. Or succumb to your dark thoughts again. But fornicating in the sanctity of our house? Not wrath or pride, but the forbidden fruit of succulent loins. You have fallen into lust, for what? For this woman? This Bathsheba? How old are you, child? - he turned to deputy.
- It’s not important. - she muttered.
- Jacob is twice her age. - John budged in with a smile. - Already checked her papers.
Joseph sighed, rubbing his face.
- Have you no shame, brother? Leading such a young soul astray, poisoning her with seeds of what will turn into cancer. Or did you fall for her temptation? Your will was so weak for a young thing? This spits in the face of everything that I’ve done for you.
- Are you done? - Jacob asked in low voice.
This stunned everyone in the room, one could hear a needle drop. He never stood up to Joseph, never fought him, only followed his orders. But this ends now.
- No, I’m not done. - Joseph tried to get back on track. - You betrayed our family-
- Everything I did was for this fucking family, - he stood up. - For you , and you know it. With everything I did for us, if I want to fool around with a pretty, little thing, I’m allowed to. - a smile was tugging on the corners of his mouth as he slowly moved closer to him. - It would have been my reward for dealing with your bullshit dements, considering you can’t be bothered to be fully honest with me, can you?
His brother blinked a few times, slowly shaking his head.
- I don’t understand.
- Lambs lead to their slaughter, that’s what you made of us, Joseph. When were you going to tell me, tell us, - he gestured at John. - That for the Collapse to happen, we have to die?
- No, that’s not how- We all are going to march through Eden’s gate, hand in hand. Our whole family will emerge into the new world. Only the sinners who can’t see the light, the locus and serpents in our garden will perish.
He scoffed.
- Honesty, Joseph. That’s what I ask of you. Did you know, we have to die?
- Who told you that? - he pointed at deputy. - Her?
- Funny, isn’t it? - he crossed his arms. - I get more honesty from a woman, who wants us dead than my own brother.
- You were fooled by a false prophet, brother.
- Believe me, I would absolutely love it, if she was just lying. But now, there are only two options: either you knew about all of this and were ready to sacrifice us, or you didn’t and we should question that Voice of yours.
- Jacob-
- I’m asking you a simple question: Did you know? Yes or no.
They looked at eachother, face to face. He could see in Joseph’s eyes he was begging him to stop. To not go further with this. When was the last time he looked at him this way? When they were children and he begged him not to free them of their father?
Joseph sighed, breaking eye contact.
- No, I didn’t know. But I don’t believe this is where all of this is going.
Jacob rubbed his face, feeling the years of military service finally catch up to him. What was it all for then?
- Jacob…
Joseph tried to put his hands on his shoulder, but he stepped away from him.
- I promised our mother I’ll protect us. - he muttered. - That’s the last thing she wanted, before she shutted down for good. I kept that promise through everything, through Rome and that godforsaken farm. And I still regret, I didn’t do more. We made it my purpose. Just to watch you turn into our father.
His younger brother looked like he was about to fall over from the impact of his words.
- Don’t compare me to that man. - he raised his voice.
- Oh, you are no better than him. The old man would be proud to see the beating us over the head with bible verses turned you into the same fanatic. The only difference is now you’re the one holding the bible.
- You think, I’m the one who turned into him? - he hissed. - Look at yourself.
- I accepted it. - Jacob snapped back. - I accepted, I’ll forever live with his shadow over me. Same cheap whiskey, same anger issues.
He’s jaw clenched. He said enough.
He glanced at John, he looked shocked and confused, and at deputy…
She was smiling. A smile he never saw before. This woman.
He groaned and waved his hand.
- I’m done.
Joseph protested, yelling after him to come back, but Jacob just went to his room.
He didn’t notice when the deputy walked inside, while he was dressing up.
- That was entertaining.
He scoffed.
- You have probably done it before. Turn us against each other.
She shook her head with a quiet chuckle.
- I was never able to. All things considered, I couldn't break your bond. So, what now?
Jacob just looked at her. It was only them now.
- Surprise me.
She gave him that smile again. It was a nice smile.
- First, I’ll reset the time-loop and then… - she tilted her head. - Do you like fishing?
Notes:
So, I finally gave in and bought FC6, just to play Joseph's Collapse. That was fun, but stressful as hell. Was it worth it? Ehm... I guess I got a dream out of it?
Throughout the whole March I'll be on vacations, so the updates will slow down a lot. My main goal with coming back to writing this, was to develop health writing habits to hopefully help me with writing my original fiction. With that said, I'm still determinate to finish this, so although the trip is to relax, I'll to my best to write even a little everyday. Which will be difficult to do around my fiance ^^' (He knows I'm writing a fanfic, but I'm too embarrassed to tell him what fandom. His current running joke is that I'm writing an erotic Tom Nook ff.)
Thank you for reading and thank you for all the comments and kudos. It warms my heart to see returning readers/commenters ❤️❤️❤️
Chapter 11
Notes:
Hello, yeah, sorry it took so long ^^' I underestimated how hard it'll be to write with people around, but now it's just me and fiance (he still tries to look what I'm writing, but I can deal with it).
Also, it was supposed to be a short chapter, just a little fishing trip, but first the dialogues, then I just needed to go back and make it more "annoyed old man". But here it is.
As always, big thanks to my beta reader/friend for help, and życzę ci, żebyś się czyła lepiej. Love you~
Enjoy~
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
The last thing Jacob wanted was to be stuck in a car with the deputy. A part of him was hoping she was only joking about going fishing, but oh, how wrong he was when she appeared in front of the ranch with her car stuck to the brim with fishing gear. He didn’t want to know where she got in all from.
He glanced at the woman behind the steering wheel, never seeing her so relaxed. There was always tension in her shoulders, the alertness to spring into action. Now, she looked almost like the first time he saw her, except there was a spark of life in her eyes.
Odd.
The radio was turned off, but it didn’t stop her from humming a tune he was too familiar with.
He sighed, pinching his nosebridge.
- Are you really humming “Let the water wash away your sins”?
It pulled a giggle out of her.
- I’ll admit, as much as I hate your cult, your music is pretty great.
- You don’t know how much Joseph paid for it. - he huffed, crossing his arms. - Three different recordings. I told him it was a bad idea, but John and he hyped themselves up too much.
- I’ll say, it was worth it. The writer deserves a pat on the back.
- I have bad news for you, deputy.
She groaned.
- Joseph?
He hummed in confirmation. Jacob still remembered sitting late at night with his brothers, trying to make sense of Joseph’s chaotic scribbles to get some lyrics out of them. They would sit on the cold bathroom floor, because his muscles would act up again and throw ideas at the wall. All they had was a cheap acoustic guitar. He would drum the rhyme on it and they would try to put words to it.
Those were the calm days, they’re never getting back.
- You know I have a name, right?
That small statement stunned him. He read her papers, again and again, but her name was fleeting him. It was never important, not when she was tied to the chair, not when she was a prey.
- Jessica?
- Not even close.
- Ugh.
- It's Anna. Deputy Anna Obuchowska.
- Obu- what?
- It's Polish. Dad's an immigrant, never bothered to make it simple for Yankees. Just call me Anna or Rook. Although Rook is funnier. Gawron. God, probably sounds worse to you.
- Anna.
He said it to test it on his tongue. It wasn't bad. Simple, to the point.
- So, what do you want to fish? - she asked. - Sturgeon, bass, trout, salmon, grayling...
- I don't care.
She sighed.
- When in doubt, trout.
She turned the car north, to the Whitetail mountains. Every road they took seemed to lead back to the same park, deep into the wilderness. He didn't complain, ever since he could remember, he preferred to stay outdoors. Forests and reservoirs were more of a home to him, then whatever that place they lived in with their parents was. He would stay outside as long as possible, just to avoid their old man.
If he could, he would stay in a small cabin somewhere quiet for the rest of his life. But Joseph had a different plan and he followed.
Jacob turned on the radio and immediately “Barracuda” blasted out.
Dep’s hand moved to the dial, but he swatted it away.
She gasped.
- Hey, my car, my radio.
- I'm sick of the silence.
She tried again and he slapped her hand.
- The driver controls the music. - she hissed.
- Behave or I'm stopping the car. - he warned her, hand already resting on the handbrake.
- It's a safety precaution. “Only you” is in the radio poll.
- I can take you.
She huffed, sending him a sharp glare, before turning back to the road.
- What? Don't like the old, good, American radio? - he couldn't help himself, but tease her. - What do you kids even listen to these days? Taylor Swifty? Red five? Panic in the room? - he knew the right names, but wanted to get a reaction out of her.
Her mouth twisted into a grimace of displeasure and disbelief.
- First of all, I don’t like modern radio. I never liked what’s currently played. I just don’t. Too loud, too jumpy, too much of everything. I'm more of a Kate Bush girl.
He arched his brow.
- “Wuthering Heights”?
- More “Wedding List” and “Infant Kiss”. You know her?
- Nurses in the military hospital loved her. Heard many things during service.
She hummed.
- Like what? - she waited a moment, before adding. - No, I'm serious. You got me curious.
A sigh escaped his lips. It’s been more than a decade and yet, he remembered.
- The boys from the squad liked Metallica and AC/DC, always argued with the Nirvana guys. My buddy, - he cleared his throat, he didn’t want to say Miller. - He hummed “Don’t worry be happy” day in and day out, like a mantra. Everyday, someone must have played “Rock the Casbah”, without missing even one.
- And you? The Platters?
- They were my mother's favourite. Me? Don't know. Bob Dylan, Johnny Cash, maybe.
It’s been so long, since he heard something from the outside. He kind of missed it, but he would never tell anyone, especially Joseph.
He clicked his tongue and added:
- Fleetwood Mac.
She laughed.
- Fuckyeah, Fleetwood Mac! God, what was that one song?
Dep tried to hum and mumble it, but with every next sound, her face fell even more. It was clear, she forgot, but desperately grasped to the crumbled memory. Jacob focused, putting together what she had and searching his own mind.
Then it clicked.
- And if you don't love me now, - he muttered to the rhyme. - You will never love me again.
- I can still hear you saying, - she sang back with a smile. - You would never break the chain…
For the rest of the drive, they sang that stupid song, although neither of them could. It sounded horrible, but fuck it, it was fun.
After another bad song, they stopped at the end of the road by Linero Building Supplies. He walked behind Anna, ready to grab anything the woman dropped from her foolishly carrying more than she could. She took folding chairs, net, tackle box and rods, leaving him with only a portable cooler. Shouldn't he be carrying all of it? If something happens to her, they'll have to put her down like a horse and start over. She was doing it on purpose, wasn't she? Just to piss him off.
She glanced over the shoulder at him and raised an eyebrow.
- What did I do this time?
Jacob raised up the cooler and realization spread on her face.
- Fuck, sorry. - she handed him a few things. - Force of habit.
- Don’t tell me you were doing the same thing, while fighting us?
She pressed her lips together and didn’t say a word.
He didn’t know if he should feel impressed or scold her for being stupid.
Eventually, they put everything by the rocky shore of Wishbone Lake. As he unfolded the chairs, Dep pulled out two bottles from the cooler.
- Do you want Leased Lager or Whistling Beaver? - seeing his expression, she grimaced herself. - This is all that’s here. And I’m pretty sure there’s a rule against drinking wine and whisky, while fishing. Something about stupid rich folk.
She handed him one of the bottles. He swiftly opened it against a rock.
- There’s still vodka.
- Mokva is disgusting.
He couldn’t argue with her.
Jacob took a swing and looked at the surface of the lake. It rippled a bit from the wind, reflecting the clear sky. Nothing, but rustling of the trees and singing of the birds. It was nice, but the nagging feeling at the back of his skull didn’t stop. He should be working, should be in the Veteran Center and finishing everything, before the Reaping. He should be already going to the Grand View Hotel and Stone Ridge Chalet to oversee the preparations. Not enjoying the cool breeze with his enemy.
He collapsed into one of the chairs. Even if it was pointless, he couldn’t just do nothing.
- So, - Anna sat down next to him with an exaggerated groan, beer in one hand, and sank into the chair. - How's the wife and kids, boy?
- Very funny, Rook. - his voice was flat, but the corner of his lips twitched.
- I’m sorry, I haven’t mastered the old man talk, yet. - she muttered between sips. - Getting close, though.
He rolled his eyes.
Jacob watched as she grabbed one of the rods and fidgeted with the lure. Carefully, but precisely she tied the bugger to the line, making him furrow his brows.
- Let me guess, your daddy took you fishing a lot.
She huffed a laugh.
- I taught myself. I learned everything, while stuck in here. I have never been fishing before, but turns out, I really like it.
- And you did an atrocious job. - he beckoned with his hand. - Give me that.
He grabbed it from her and quickly undid the knot.
- Now, watch and learn. You want to go fancy. What was that? Butchered Davy? Tie it here and there, no. We're doing trout, keep it simple. You just need two: Uni or Palomar. You know any?
She rested her elbow on the armrest, chin in her palm, looking at him like at a picture.
- I think Palomar?
- You either think or know. Take your fly and do this.
He made a loop, passed it through the hook and tied the knot. He smirked to himself. He still got it, even though his eyes were acting up again.
He turned back to her.
- Bait?
She smiled.
- No bait.
- No ba- Kid, come on. Now, what's the best bait for trout? Tick-tock.
- Minnows and nightcrawlers?
- Good. That's for the live bait, if we're going artificial grab a spinner with number 2, spoon or a jigger. What do we have?
She pointed at the fly.
- Trout bugger.
He pitched his nosebridge.
- Will do. - he muttered, handing her the rod back. - Now, cast it. Properly.
Anna laughed. She took it, putting aside her beer, and cast the line in a wide arch. The fly landed impressively far.
- Will do? - she asked, sitting right back.
He nodded.
- Will do, kid.
It was a slow nosebleed to correct all of deputy’s learned mistakes, and to his displeasure, she managed to catch a few small fry despite it. Nothing too impressive, but she would dangle them in front of him, posing like those fisherman on the angler’s magazine covers. Oh, he wanted to wipe that cheeky smile off her face.
The whole time Rookie was throwing different ideas of what they could do next. From dumb bar hopping to hunting bliss animals, she suggested everything possible to do in Hope County and, surprisingly, what they both might enjoy. She even asked him what he would like to do, his favourite places to hunt, if there's something he wanted to do.
Killing Eli was off the table. Damnit.
Jacob could see she was not only trying, but was excited at the possibilities. He could swear every time she said "we" and "us", her eyes shined a bit.
It was sad, she got him to share her loneliness with. The worst possible cure.
As he pulled another small trout off his hook and threw it back into the lake, he thought this wasn’t entirely bad. But he was curious about few things.
- I saw your photos. - he struck up, taking his seat again. - Fine bunch. Your folks. Your old man really looks like the type to take you fishing. The face of a man, who doesn’t care and just takes his kid to do what he likes.
- The only thing he took me, was mushroom picking once or twice. - she chuckled, casting her line. - No, he was always working. The whole day, until dusk. I don't remember how many different jobs he had, but he was never home, sometimes for days. It was only me, Maria and mom.
- I'm guessing that's your sister.
- Older sister. - she corrected him, sitting down. - Four years between us. Not much, but it made things rough. Really rough. You know how teen girls can be.
- Sure. - he didn’t know. - Psychological warfare, I’m guessing. Stealing clothes, back talking, snitching. That stuff?
She laughed, clearly entertained by his answer.
- Close enough. Your brothers were better?
- Joseph growing up was… Quiet. Smart, though. We had our moments I wished, he was like other kids, but he was and is my brother. Even if he pissed me off sometimes, because I stole candy for him and John. And John, oh please, John was a toddler, even when he was five. Trying to eat snails and mudcakes, and cherishing paperplanes I made him.
He caught her smiling, before it disappeared.
- Well, and mom... Mom was mom. In the end, I was left to my own devices, for better or for worse. I would just wander the neighborhood and abandon buildings. Other kids called me a ghost. - she tilted her head. - Maybe they did have a point. I was oddly quiet and would sneak up on them, not by accident either. I was a lost, angry child.
She gently pulled on her line, her face slightly cast down.
- I wouldn’t guess, you had anger issues.
- That’s what’s called growing up.
He shook his head, grabbing another beer.
- It’s called keeping that shit buried down. I saw what you can do.
She chuckled humorlessly.
- I can’t argue with that. - she sighed and curled up in the seat. - Why so curious all of the sudden?
He shrugged, leaning back in the chair.
- We're stuck together, aren’t we? Might as well get to know each other.
- Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer, hm? Fine, ask anything.
He thought for a moment, turning a bottle cap between his fingers.
- How angry were you?
- Depends on who. Others? Very. Myself? Even more. I was lost, unsure of my future. When I was little, I wanted to be a mermaid princess. - hearing a snort and a cough trying to cover it, she huffed a laugh. - I was very little. My mom told me mermaids weren’t real and I should pick something more realistic. So, I wanted to be a nurse, then a photograph, and then nothing. - she sighed and turned to him. - And you?
He grumbled, tossing the cap into the cooler.
- It was between a policeman and a park ranger.
- You look good in uniform. - she muttered. Before Jacob could react, she continued: - Anyways, with time, I could only say, I was alive. I thought the world was unjust and I didn’t take shit. In highschool, other girls would try starting drama with me. Because I was… I was trying to stay away from everyone. Well, I got into detention for hitting one of them with a baseball bat. Got a whole speech about how dangerous it was.
- If you hit her in the back of the head...
- She could have died. Yeah, I know. I guess, it was quiet anger, with many boiling points. - she glanced at him. - You were louder.
- You could say so.
She tilted her head.
- The ranch. That wasn’t exaggerated by Joseph?
He huffed, almost laughing. Of course, she read Joseph’s book.
- No, it was pretty much point by point. The barn, stables, house, cars, everything up in flames. Who knew, hay and grain was so flammable. And the axe handle. Considering everything, they should have trailed me like an adult and put me in jail.
He looked at her, wanting to see her reaction. Fear or maybe disgust, but she only looked intrigued. He couldn’t understand her. Did they mess her up so badly, she didn’t see his confection as something abnormal?
- And you’re father…
- I should have killed that bastard. - he growled, but scoffed afterwards. - He might have fallen down the stairs in prison and broken his neck, but it wasn’t enough. Years of abuse and Old Man Seed got away easy, while we’re still dealing with his crap.
Heavy silence fell between them. They watched the boppers float on the surface.
It was still a sorespot, even after all those years.
Out of the corner of his eye, he could swear, he noticed the deputy's hand move closer to him, but quickly retrieve.
- I wish mother didn’t get the shortest end of the stick out of us. - he muttered, more to himself. - Joe only remembers the ghost she became. Beaten into obedience like a dog.
- How was she before that? - she asked quietly.
- Bold. - a corner of his mouth lifted. - And bright. We didn’t have much, even less when the old man got injured and lost his job at a factory, but she was crafty. Made sure we wouldn’t feel we were poor. She would joke, she was a witch and her magic could make everything. Taught us how to survive in this world and how to be strong in the face of everything. But then, she got pregnant with John and after that, she was gone.
And he was next to her, hopelessly trying to help with everything. He cooked when she couldn’t, help with the baby when she couldn’t hold him, stood in the old man’s way when she didn’t even try fighting back. He was desperately holding onto the hope she would get better. That it was just temporary. But it wasn’t. Mom was gone and only left behind an empty hush in the shape of her.
At least, they all had her eyes.
- She sounds lovely. - Anna said, giving him a small smile. - You did what you could. You can’t expect more from a child.
- I was a teenager. - he rubbed his eyes. - I could have made sure… - he shook his head. It was pointless to keep on thinking “what if”. - And yours? She looked like a fine lady.
She sighed and stood up to check the rods.
- She was. But she was a fragile woman. My whole life dad reminded us to not upset her, because she couldn’t handle it. Keep your problems to yourself, don’t talk about bad things, because mom has it worse. - she yanked on one of the lines. - She was like the sea. Calm one moment, just to snap at you the next. She would get upset, if you were too loud, didn’t do your chores her way, misplaced anything. I once placed a bowl on the wrong spot and she scolded me, like I broke it. A fucking, dumb bowl. And she made me cry for the rest of the day.
He got up himself and stood next to deputy.
- She doesn’t sound stable.
- Who knows, really. She did love us, but she didn’t show it most of the time. She made sure we were healthy and fed. She would try to comfort us, Maria more than me. When I… - she swallowed. - When I lost my son, she cradled me in her arms the whole night. I can’t hate her, even if I wanted to.
Jacob sighed.
- That’s the curse, isn’t it? They put you through shit and you can’t even fully hate them.
It wasn’t him though. He could say full-heartedly, he hated his father. But mother was a different story.
- But she probably misses you.
- She passed away a few days ago.
…
It all made sense, didn’t it?
- What happened?
- Suicide. - she whispered. - I got back from work and expected her to be in the kitchen, making dinner. But she wasn’t there. I found her hanging in their bedroom. - she wiped away a tear. - Turns out, she got breast cancer and didn’t tell anyone. No one, not even dad. She didn’t want us to see her suffer through chemo. Stupid, right? Just like her daughter.
He didn’t want to agree with her.
After a moment, he put his hand on her head and ruffled her hair. They felt soft, but damaged under his finger tips.
- Well, we’re stuck together now, so if you try doing anything stupid, I’ll lock you back in the cage. Got it, honey?
Anna rolled her eyes, but he could see the corner of her mouth lifted.
She gestured with her head towards the fishing rods.
- That’ll be yours, Jake.
Something was pulling on the line. He grabbed the rod and immediately it was obvious it wouldn’t be easy. Ignoring her smirk, Jacob rilled in the fish, only letting go when the line teased too much.
After a few more pulls, he held up a nice Lake Trout.
- Nice. - Anna whistled, looking it over. - That would be at least 36 lbs. The county record is 37 lbs.
- Don’t tell me, you have that memorized.
She shrugged with a smile.
- Up for the challenge? Who gets the biggest one?
She didn’t have to ask him twice.
When the sun finally set, deepening the darkness around them, they had thirteen fishes between them.
Jacob won by 2 oz.
Notes:
If anyone is wondering, no, I never was and I know nothing about fishing. But man, do I love fishing in FC5.
Also, looking up what music was popular between troops during First Gulf War was more difficult than I thought.
I have no idea, what the vodka in game is supposed to be named. My best guesses are: Mokga, Mokba and Mokva. I'm guessing it's suppose to be "Moskva Vodka" but without "s", so I went with "Mokva".
Also, little fun facts about my deputy:
- Anna is named after Anna the Prophetess from the New Testament. I thought it would be funny, considering from Joseph's pov, she would be a false prophet.
- Her surname, Obuchowska, comes from the russian word "obukh" which means "back of an axe", but also "stupid, or stubborn person; one who disobeys", which fits her perfectly :)
Thank you for reading, and I hope, I'll update soon.
Chapter 12
Notes:
This is probably the last chapter posted during my vacations. It was fun while it lasted :)
The usual thanks to my friend/beta reader for the green light. Can't wait to see you again <3
Enjoy~!
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Time finally started flowing. Flowing like a rapid stream.
Beers, rides, hikes, hunting, skydiving, rockclimbing, fishing, moonshine, more beers…
So much to do and only two days to fill over and over again.
Just the two of them and eternity.
Something didn’t feel right.
Something was nagging at the back of her mind.
- Kid, cut away from yourself! Are you even listening?
Anna snapped back from her thoughts, the moment Jacob grabbed the knife from her hand and continued to skin the deer himself. He mumbled something under his breath, but she didn’t pay attention, still kneeling down.
Everything felt off.
The forest was made of the same trees, the air and water taste the same.
It was still just two days, but everything shifted ever so slightly.
The staleness eased up, repetition skipped and jerked. People almost felt fluid again, saying new things, having new reactions.
A small drop making ripples in the lake.
Only because Jacob joined the loop.
She should be happy, right? Something new, something she hasn't experienced yet…
It felt wrong.
But she didn’t know what it meant and it birthed ideas into her mind. Ideas that weren’t safe. Not yet.
Maybe the worst thing: she was starting to like Jacob.
Anna gasped as something grabbed her thigh.
She looked down and saw Jacob’s blooded hand gripping her leg, no squeezing, only holding. His brows furrowed.
- What’s going on in that head of yours?
Nothing and everything.
- Nothing, it’s just… - she rubbed her face. His hand was warm, staining her jeans and skin.
He sighed and went back to cutting.
- No, I’m not letting you make that wine sauce to the venison.
She forced out a chuckle.
- Oh, come on. Caramelized onions and wine sauce sounds delicious, doesn't it? - when he groaned and waved his hand at her, she continued. - We can’t eat dry burgers, Jacob.
- Dry? - he stopped, meat halfway separated from the ribcage. - The meat won’t be dry.
- You know what I mean. You’re not planning for us to eat plain meat burgers, right?
- If you’re going to be such a crybaby, I’ll put some ketchup on yours.
She huffed and sat back. Her thoughts wanted to drift away again, but she focused on now.
Watching him precisely slice the meat, separating it cleanly from the bone, Anna couldn’t pretend, but be impressed how good he was with a knife.
And intimidated.
As much as she remembered, he never stabbed her. She was familiar with cold steel cutting and digging into her flesh, warming her skin with trickles of blood.
His blade only ran over her skin and veins, doing enough to bring pain.
A shiver went through her body at the memory.
It was… It was something.
She took a deep breath and slowly exhaled.
- You’re good with the knife. - she noted quietly.
He hummed in agreement.
A beat.
Then another.
Fingers slipped over her chest. Eyes set on the dangling dogtags. The hand print slowly turned a deeper color.
He sighed and handed her the bloodied knife.
- Finish the deer and do it probably.
Anna didn’t understand Jacob Seed and when she thought the puzzles finally clicked, he pulled them apart.
Although she led them to a prepper’s bunker, filled with everything they needed, he insisted on cooking on a campfire. She didn’t argue, it was pointless.
Quietly, she caramelized onions in a pan, while Jacob busied himself with gridding the meat. There was a comfortable silence hanging in the air, only the woods around them and the wet noise of flesh could be heard.
- Did you know, - she muttered, more to herself. - Only one thing makes us different from animals?
He glanced at her, before turning back to the bowl of raw venison.
- Doubtful, but entertain me.
As she left the pan on the grill grate to fetch the wine bottle, she kept on talking.
- Animals have hierarchies and colonies. They pair for life, like married people do. - she opened the bottle and poured the Pinot Noir, the onions sizzled. - Love? Friendship? Warfare? No, no. Sex?
She looked up at him, only to catch him rolling his eyes.
- No. - he said shortly. He took the bowl and kneeled by the fire. One by one, he started forming patties and put them on the grate. They quietly hissed.
- It’s very simple, actually. Cooking.
- No.
Her brows immediately furrowed.
- What do you mean “no”?
She stirred the pan, looking back-and-forth between the sauce and him.
- Kid, - he said. - There are island monkeys that figured out how to salt a potato. Birds and elephants get drunk off fermented fruits for fuckssake. We ain’t special.
- That’s not cooking.
- Hm? It’s not? And what will you call it?
- I don’t know, but it’s not cooking. Humankind can bake bread. - she added quickly.
He sighed, exasperated.
- Can you? - he asked, his whole attention on her.
Anna didn’t say a word, until she muttered “no”.
He huffed a laugh, turning the patties.
- By your logic, you’re no better than a dog.
Her jaw clenched. She put the pan away and got up.
- Sit. - he ordered.
She started to walk away.
- Hm? What? I don’t hear you.
- Anna.
She stopped a few meters away.
- Take it back.
- I called you a dog, not a bitch. Stop fussing.
It wasn’t about pride or hurt feelings.
- Take it back, old man.
He sighed and turned away.
- You have three minutes.
As she kept walking deeper into the forest, she glanced back and saw Jacob taste her sauce. With knitted brows, he chewed for a moment and hummed.
She smirked a bit.
Her legs kept moving, but her mind was drowning in thoughts.
The nagging didn’t stop.
Maybe they could… But would he go along with it?
Three minutes later, she was carried back to the camp, like a bag of potatoes.
- Now, you can’t take a joke. - Jacob grumbled.
She shrugged.
- Am I still a dog?
He huffed, but the corner of his mouth lifted a bit.
- No.
The hamburgers turned out exactly as she expected. Juicy and slightly sweet. And messy, so, so messy. The sauce was a great idea. Anna had at least three and could have even more, if she wasn’t stuffed already.
She leaned back against a log and watched Jacob devour his sixth burger. Weirdly, she found it fascinating how he either barely ate, picking slowly at his plate, or acted like a starving man, leaving not even crumbs.
The more time she spent with him, the more intrigued she was. By his scars, by his words, by his blue eyes…
She wanted to ruffle his stupid ginger beard, squeeze his cheeks and tell him to stop being so grumpy. But he would probably break her fingers for even trying.
For a time, it was funny to see people’s reactions to the Jacob Seed, the Soldier of Project Eden’s Gate, sitting in Aubrey’s Diner and eating breakfast or asking to pick some apples from Gardenview Orchards, but it got old quicker than she expected. And they were running out of things to do faster than she thought.
Anna sighed and tilted her head, rubbing the bloody handprint on her pants.
- You know how to cook. - she chatted up. He hummed. - Surprising with all of the raw meat.
- It's a basic survival skill, rook. - he muttered between bites.
- That’s hunting. - she pointed out. - But cooking? No offence, but you don’t strike me as a guy who's good at cooking.
He huffed a laugh.
- I know enough to not starve. - he shook his head. - Rome, it was mostly food stamps and whatever we could get. Hot dogs and frozen pizza, canned food and stolen candy. Put some cheese on it and you’re good to go. The army was a different beast. Base food was fine for what it was, but during deployment we mostly went off food rations and making that taste good was a challenge.
She nodded.
- And there’s Miller.
He groaned, sneering at his burger.
- Either you can feed yourself or you die. He was as good as dead already.
She hummed and turned to the fire, not wanting to think about Miller.
Jacob picked up on it and raised an eyebrow.
- Why so quiet, honey? Don’t tell me you can’t. - when he was met with silence, his brows narrowed. - You can’t.
- Could you knock it off? - she snapped back. - I… - she hesitated, feeling her cheeks get warmer. It was probably from the flames. - I learned late in life. Mom didn't let me into the kitchen. Didn't teach me how to hold the knife or peel a potato or boil pasta.
- So, you could burn water. - he joked, grabbing another bum.
She sighed, rubbing her face. Heard that one before.
- Sam also had a field day with that too. - she muttered. - He baby stepped me through the basics and I learned to rest being stuck in here.
- Sam?
She blinked, hearing something in his tone she couldn’t pinpoint. She glanced up at him and reply slowly:
- My ex-husband.
Right, she never mentioned him. Why would she? He was the part of her life she wanted to forget. A sour painful spot, not worth opening.
- Ah, him. Yeah, saw the photos. He looked… - he didn’t say, but she knew he wanted to say “weak”. - What did you do to lose him?
She scoffed.
- Already so pessimistic?
- Knowing you? I’m realistic. Couldn’t handle you?
- We were always better off as friends. - she said firmly, trying to say just enough and quickly. - He’s a good man, responsible and vigilant. He basically kept me in line during highschool. Or tried. - she chuckled, but it was short lived. - We only got married, because I got pregnant with our baby boy. After… you know, we tried for one more year, but it was pointless. We had nothing to hold us together. No hobbies, no lifegoals. So, we divorced.
She shook her head, barely hearing his words again.
- He said. - she continued. - I was spiraling back into who I was in highschool and he couldn’t keep pulling me back. After that I moved back with my parents and he… he’s somewhere out there.
- Probably, living his dream and you’re stuck with me.
She gave him a sarcastic smile, but was it really so bad?
- You just know how to rub salt into the wound, don’t you?
He shrugged.
Turning towards him, she leaned on her arm.
- How about you, Jake? Got yourself wrapped up with someone?
Jacob almost choked at the sudden question.
- What? - he asked in a coughing fit, pounding his chest.
- I know you weren’t married. - she stated it matter-of-fact. - But were you ever in a relationship?
He shook his head, grabbing a metal mug. Took a sip, his mouth twisted, not sure if from the contents or the question.
He waved a hand at her with a grumble.
- Waste of time.
She chuckled and tiled her head.
- A waste of time? - she repeated it slowly. I sounded more absurd, than any other answer.- You can’t be serious?
- And what did you expect? A childhood sweetheart? - he sounded more and more frustrated. - Some pretty girl to go back home to after the war? When do you think I would have time for that, hm?
She shrugged, feeling she accidentally stepped on a nerve.
- I don’t know, maybe now?
- There’s always shit to do and I’m not going to squeeze in some woman, just because of needs. I’m not John, I don’t want it, even if it keeps people from leaving. I’m not some weak, needy boy, who can’t control himself.
They stared at each other, the crackling of fire matching her heartbeat.
- So, you never dated? - she asked slowly.
It seemed bizarre to her. How was it possible in that one area, she had more experience than him?
He muttered under his breath, whipping his hands into the fabric of his jeans.
She smirked and continued in a teasing tone.
- You never asked a girl on a date?
He glared at her, a warning, but she ignored it and added:
- How sad. The oldest Seed is a cherry boy. - she laughed. - Maybe I should take you on a date?
Anna was only joking to see his reaction, but he wasn’t in the mood for it.
Jacob rapidly got up and walked up to her, bending down, looming over her.
A shiver ran down her spine.
- Oh? And what would that be?
She swallowed, knowing she fucked up. The cage was closing around her.
- Well... I... - she cleared her throat. - There are options. Many options. A candlelit dinner is always a good choice. - she tried to lean away, but his hand was already on the back of her neck. - I could take you to the shooting range and see who has a better aim or a hike up Raptor Peak would be more adventures. Or...
- I could pull you into a remote cabin and be done with pleasantries.
She chuckled nervously, hoping he was only trying to scare her.
- That's also an option, but not very romantic.
He smirked.
- You wouldn't get romantic out of me, let's not fool each other. The most you'll get is not being strangled or used. Got it, honey?
She quickly nodded, her heart racing.
Fuck, she was so stupid for still playing with fire, like he wouldn’t remember. After so long, she could still feel his hands on her, taking her breath away, stumping and breaking her bones, bruising her skin. Her stomach turned.
She needed to remember, she couldn’t de-program herself and couldn’t change a wolf into a dog.
He looked satisfied with her answer, but grabbed her cheeks between his fingers and squeezed.
- You know, maybe I’ll take you on a date.
Anna froze.
Maybe “like” was a strong word. She was starting to enjoying his company.
Notes:
This is the first of two lighter chapters, before we're getting "serious" again.
Also, I can't believe this fic hit 1,000+ hits! It probably doesn't mean much in Ao3 terms, but it makes me happy people are viewing my work :)
Thank you all for reading <3Edit 22/09/25
The whole chapter got rewritten, because after reading it again I wasn't satisfied with it.
You might think, hey are you coming back?
Well...
Probably :)
Chapter 13
Notes:
You know what reader? I really have writing "there will be X among of chapters, before Y happens" and then write such long chapter, there isn't a different way, but to spit it.
But for my own sanity, we're going to do just that.
Hope you like it, because it was a doozy.
Enjoy~
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
For how much her company was bearable, Anna was getting on his nerves with her cheekiness and stupid questions. And for the short time they had together, Jacob knew exactly what would be the least enjoyable thing for her.
What's a better way to get back at her, than bring her to his family.
Leaning against the Oberlin Picnic Area’s welcome sign, with “Return to the Garden” banner nailed to it, he waited to see if she comes or chickens out.
The sound of talking and music quietly hung in the air.
He hated the grill party, as his brothers called it, it was an absolute waste of time they could be using to get everything sorted out before the Reaping. And now that he knew it'd happen tonight, it was even more infuriating.
Jacob didn't even bother to dress up, after all Joseph only required for him to look clean. He just threw on some clean jeans and a flannel shirt, and combed through his hair and beard with his fingers. It was quick and efficient, unlike John's whole routine of conditioners, beard oils and what not.
Glancing towards the baseball field, he could see his youngest brother walking from follower to follower chatting them up and smiling. Dressed in his best shirt and groomed to perfection. Sometimes he wondered how John had the energy to deal with so many people. He was getting a headache just thinking about entertaining people the whole day to make them stay with the Project.
Faith was also working her magic, wandering between picnic tables, soaking everyone's mind with her sweet words and Bliss. Flowers in her hair, lace flowing around her arms and legs, bright smile present. He had to admit, Rachel was thus far the best “Faith” Joseph had chosen, doing an excellent job, but he still didn’t trust her. He was only used to her and her presents, but he still preferred the previous ones. Not sure why, they were the same tools as this Faith.
He looked around, but couldn’t find Joseph anywhere.
A squeak of tires against the dirt road pulled his attention back to the small parking lot.
A car parked on the other side, squeezing next to their white pickups, and deputy walked out, looking…
Jacob never saw her that way.
To say she looked out of place, would be an understatement. She was something he would only see in Atlanta when he was a kid.
The woman almost glowed in a fitted orange dress, long and covering her legs. A pattern of weeds was sewn on with small, darker beads. She had boots on and a brown leather jacket, with no jewellery. She didn’t need it, she was already sparking with her tan skin and those goddamn brown eyes hidden behind strands of hair.
At that moment, Jacob understood why her ex-husband was so weak.
She made him that way.
He smirked to himself. Strong personality and pretty face was a deadly combination.
As she made her way to him from between the cars, he whistled at her.
- You look...
- Like a rat at the opening of a sewer. - she cut in with a smile.
He huffed a laugh.
- Different. - he corrected her.
She shrugged, dusting off her skirt.
- I don't get any opportunities to dress up here. So, I'll take what I can get.
- They'll accuse you of vanity.
- I know.
She crossed her arms and gave him a good look from head to toes. Out of instinct, he straightened up.
- The red flannel, jeans and work shoes. - she said, nodding. - They were the only clean ones.
He huffed.
- Of course you knew.
- I know you a little bit.
Jacob gestured for them to go to the party.
As he took his first steps, he felt deputy's arm snake around his, gently squeezing his bicep. At first, a thought of pulling away from her crossed his mind, but it quickly dimmed. It was a "date" after all, this was what they were supposed to do. Her acting like an arm candy didn't do any harm.
As they walked past the Project’s members, everyone's eyes were on them. Quickly, whispers followed. Buzz of shock and speculations, like fucking mosquitos.
“Is that the sinner from the last mass?”
“Why is she with the herald?”
“Does Father know?”
“Look at her. What a vain harlot.”
Jacob just needed to give them a quick glance for them to mind their own business. But they didn't shut up.
“Do you think she wants to join us?”
At the corner of his eye, Rookie’s mouth was twitching.
“Oh, they seem too familiar with each other.”
As a final silencer, he put his hand on Anna's waist to send a message and to keep her from running off and doing something stupid. Surprisingly, his palm fitted nicely against her figure, which she must have noticed, because she raised her brow for a moment.
The buzz stopped, replaced by normal conversations.
He took a deep breath. His plan was simple. Bored and annoyed Anna, with the help of his brothers’ presents as long as possible. Simple. And with all the followers around them, hard to escape from.
- Only four Chosen.
Her quiet mutter surprised him. Of course, she knew the exact number.
- And?
- I expected more, considering Joseph is here.
- Four is enough.
She chuckled.
- I know my soldiers. - he growled. - Four it’s all that’s needed.
- Sure, sure.
He groaned and pulled her to move faster.
She stumbled with a huff.
- Oh, you know how to treat a lady. - she hissed.
- Anna?
A familiar woman’s voice made him stop.
As the pale blonde woman walked towards them, Jacob recognized her as the Sheriff’s department’s secretary.
- Mrs. Nancy? - Anna asked, looking surprised.
- Oh, dear. - she grabbed her hands and squeezed them. - You have no idea how happy I am to see you here. You changed your mind, yes?
- Ehm, yeah. - she tried to pull them away. - You know, I just couldn’t stop thinking about the Father’s words and…
- He’s wonderful, isn’t he? - she cut her off. - Such a great man.
Jacob clapped his hands, noticing Joseph standing in the back, close to the trees.
- I’ll leave you, ladies. - before walking away, he added to Anna with a smirk. - Behave.
He could feel her glare on his back as he went. His plan was already working.
His brother was observing everything from a far, one hand gripping the sleeve of his shirt. No smiles, no chatting with followers, no hugs or back patting. He was stressed about tomorrow. The moment he noticed Jacob, his shoulders relaxed and a small smile spread on his face.
His brother’s smile gave him a bad feeling.
- There you are, brother. - Joseph said, reaching for him.
They pressed their foreheads together, before he continued:
- I see, you came with that little friend of yours from the other day.
- Don't call her that. - he muttered.
This made his brother laugh, weak and quiet.
- Do you have another name for her already?
He shook his head. Deputy, rook, rookie, kid, honey, Anna.
- It’s Anna.
He nodded.
- Anna. - he weighted the name. - Just Anna.
Footsteps sounded from their side. John sneaked up to them and handed each a cup of apple cider, his head still turned towards the party.
- The new deputy came. - he hummed, looking at them. - I wonder what's up with that?
Joseph shrugged.
- It’s not a surprise, John. She heard the Word and wants to atone. And we’ll welcome her with open-
- It's a date. - Jacob said bluntly, taking a sip from his cup.
He had to fight a smile at his brothers' reactions. Joseph's eyes widen like he just got flashbanged and John's jaw dropped together with his paper cup, before he snapped:
- What? How?
- Simple. I asked her out and she said yes. - he smirked, putting pressure on the last word, just to tease his little brother.
- No- It doesn't- - he combed through his hair, stumbling over his words. - It doesn't work like that.
- Hm? - he raised a brow. - Why not?
- She has been here for just three days.
- And?
- And?!
- Your point?
- How?! - he gestured at his older brother. - It's you! - he put his hands on his chest. - I got me, but you?
- Not all of us can be this handsome, John.
He punched his shoulder, but Jacob barely felt it. It pulled a chuckle out of him.
As John pulled the cup of cider from him, he looked at Joseph, who was still standing silently.
- Joe?
- I'm... - he cleared his throat, his voice weak. - I'm happy for you brother, but I have my concerns.
Of course, he would. He wouldn’t be, if he just killed someone.
Jacob wanted to tell him the most outlandish things, how he was planning to marry her and leave the project or make up what he already did with her, but looking at his younger brother, his eyes full of concern and worry, he backed away. He wanted to spite him, but it wasn’t worth it.
- There is nothing to be concerned about, Joseph. Just testing the waters. See what I can make out of this. I'm not interested in jumping her bones or being cuddly with. She's a good sport and sharp, but annoying. I only kissed her, - he muttered. - Don't plan more.
John sipped out his drink.
- Oh, come on!
- This is how it starts. - Joseph's voice wavered. - First is kissing and holding hands, then comes sin.
He groaned and rubbed his temple.
- Forfucksake, Joe, stop with the pearl clenching, you were married. I told you, I’m not interested in fucking her.
- Language. And that's the point. I was married.
He narrowed his eyes.
- So, I can’t even touch a woman?
- That’s not what I meant. You know our rules. No worldly pleasures.
Joseph gave both of his brothers a stern look, which John avoided and Jacob challenged.
- You have no say in my life. - he groaned. - No more.
John’s jaw dropped again, but his brother only arched a brow.
- And where’s that coming from?
He huffed a laugh.
- Let’s say, the chain of command has changed.
Before Joseph could say anything more, Jacob felt hands brush against his sides and Anna’s head popped in from under his arm, forcing it over her shoulder. Her touch was soft, gently embracing his waist. It felt-
No, don’t think about it. She was only acting.
- You must be Jacob’s brothers, right? - she asked with a smile.
In an instance, the other Seeds expressions changed into welcoming ones.
- Indeed, we are. - Joseph confirmed. - And you must be the new deputy?
- Wow, yes, how did you know? - she acted surprised. - The word must travel fast in such a small county. I’m Anna Obuchowska, but you can call me just Anna. - she grabbed and shook his hand. - You must be Joseph. You’re the Father? I saw you at the sermon. It was absolutely amazing. I never felt so moved, your words were just… - she put her hand over her heart.
His cheeks turned red.
- Oh, - he cleared his throat. - I’m flattered, dear.
- And you’re John? - she turned her attention to him.
He nodded with a wide smile, grabbing her hands in his.
- It’s a pleasure. Beautiful dress.
- Oh, thank you.
- I’m shocked my brother pick-up such a stunning woman.
- Oh, you know what they say. Girls love a man in uniform.
She giggled, patting Jacob’s chest.
Jacob was stunned how well she was playing the role of a pretty fool. If he didn’t know better, he would have bought it, but quickly started being suspicious.
- How do you like Hope County so far? - John asked.
- I have no words. - she shook her head. - The whole place is just so special. The crossing of ley lines and settlement deposits, I know my cards guided me to the right place. You can feel the right vibes. Just the place to charge my chakras and crystals.
- That’s… - he thought for a moment, confused by her words. - Nice. You’re into spiritualism? New age?
- I’m a free thinker.
- Right. - he looked at Jacob with panic in his eyes. - Right. - he looked back at her. - So, ehm…
She grabbed his hand.
- You should try perineum sunning and ayahuasca. It opens your mind in the ways you wouldn’t believe.
John was about to say something, but he paused and thought for a moment. Putting a hand to his chin, he nodded.
- Yes. Maybe I should.
- John, - Joseph said sternly. - Our brothers and sisters need you.
He snapped back and mumbled a few words, before quickly going away.
Joseph turned his attention to Anna.
- Have you met Faith yet? - he gestured next to her.
Like a ghost, Faith was quietly standing by, smiling. Jacob wasn’t sure, when she got here.
- Oh, no, I haven’t. - Anna shook her head, her shoulders tensing.
- It’s so nice to meet you. - Faith moved closer and swiftly took her hands. - Welcome to our family.
- That’s a lovely necklace. - she said, but Jacob could hear strain in her voice. - Is that a mustard seed?
Faith smiled and held it up. A small bottle on a string with a single seed inside.
- It is. It represents faith.
- That’s so nice. My father used to say, you should offer mustard seeds to the dead. He said those who haven’t experienced suffering can’t enter heaven.
A laugh, that was Faith’s whole response as she led them to the picnic tables.
When they were far enough, Joseph slowly exhaled.
- She’s truly a lost soul.
Jacob shook his head. She was still surprising him.
- She’s something, isn’t she?
- A hippie. - he shrugged. - I knew a few back in the day. She’s harmless.
Jacob looked at him with a raised brow. His brother just laughed.
- Don’t tell John, but I did… - he put two fingers to his lips and blew. - What?
- You and your secrets.
Notes:
Thanks to my friend for reading this and reminding me the obvious place, where there could be a grill party. I'm not joking, I forgot about the baseball field.
Little fan fact: The part about the mustard seed from Anna is a reference to a Polish drama "Dziady part II" by Adam Mickiewicz.
Thank you for reading and let's hope the next chapter won't take so long. <3Edit 22/09/25:
Slightly re-edited the chapter.
Chapter 14
Notes:
Ehm, I'm back?
Here's very short chapter to get back into this.Notice:
Chapters 6-13 have been updated, 12 was re-written, the rest slightly edited.Enjoy <3
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Anna never wanted to strangle Faith so much in all of her resets.
It was already hard to act dumb and cuckoo, but keeping it in front of the Siren was a challenge. Annoying one, she didn’t want to do, but she made her choice.
It was easy to guess why Jacob chose the grill party. He wanted to get back on her. She had to admit, it was a great choice. She couldn’t stand being close to any of the Seeds and this was one of the places she couldn’t do much with. It’s not like she didn’t try, she just failed miserably.
As she zoned out from Faith’s rumbling, she bit into a piece of pie some Peggie gave her.
At least, the apple pie was good.
Anna looked around, carefully searching for a way out. She was watched, both secretly and openly. It was a given, she was an outsider, coming with their herald.
Think, Anna, think.
Fuck, it was hard with Faith’s chatter and sweet lies in her ears. If only she could just-
- Rachel, could you be quiet? - she suddenly snapped.
Silence.
Finally, she could think, but quickly it dawned on her what she said.
She looked at Faith, who was staring at her with a wide smile.
- I’m sorry, but you have mistaken me for someone else.
Her instincts told her to keep playing along, but Anna let her mask slip.
- How can you keep this up for so long? Aren’t you tired, Rachel?
She laughed, but her face twitched.
- I think you have the wrong idea, what this is. This isn’t an act. - she gestured at the baseball field, at the Peggies chatting and having fun. - This is our life, all thanks to the Father. And it could be yours too.
Anna shook her head.
- I know it sounds too good to be true, - Faith continued. - But joining our little community frees your mind from worry and stress and making decisions that leave you empty and unsatisfied. It gives you purpose. All you need to do is to have faith in it.
Purpose…
It was all about purpose.
When Anna finally had purpose in her life again, they ripped it away.
- Purpose, - she scoffed. - Do you think the other Faiths also thought this was their purpose? Being Joseph’s lure and snare?
Faith tried to say something. But she cut her off.
- I always wondered, how much you truthly believed. How much you acted out. And how much you played your role to satisfy Joseph, because you’re replaceable.
She watched her reaction. Nothing, just a blank face.
She sighed and continued, munching on the pie between words.
- You know, if you slip, don’t agree with something or let your true feelings get out, Joseph won’t hesitate to move on to the next poor, naive girl. Bliss helps. - she tapped one of the flowers in Faith’s hair with a fork. - Take your mind away to a better place. Please, remind me, what happened to the other Faiths?
Faith’s face wrinkled, but her lips were tightly pressed.
- Ah, right. Pushed into Horned Serpent Cave. Their last leap of faith. The black-hair Lana, then the shorter, blonde Selena… And it could be you Rachel, because you see, - she put away an empty plate and stepped closer to her. - There was only one Faith, Joseph loved and cherished, and it was Faith Seed. His wife. You’re his wife, his daughter and the faith of the whole Eden’s Gate. A Judas goat, if you will. I did feel bad for you, but now? I pity-
- Leave.
Anna blinked.
She could hear Rachel’s heavy breathing, her body tense like a bow string.
- Leave. - she sneered again.
Anna nodded and turned to go.
- It was nice meeting you, Rachel.
And she walked away.
Her heart stung for a moment, but she was already busy looking for Jacob. Unsure where to go, but she had a hunch. He had a habit when it came to parties.
As she tried to get to the other side of the field, someone pulled her back.
She tripped and let out a quiet groan, when her back hit the person’s chest.
- De-pu-ty! - she heard John’s voice behind her, his hands resting on her hips. - Where are you going?
She flinched, but turned around with her best sheepish smile.
- Oh, sorry, I was looking for the restroom.
- Restroom? - he tilted his head. Anna could hear his slimy smile. - You’re a little lost, Ann. Here.
He turned her around and quickly took her arm in his. Before she could react, John was already leaning her the other way, to the restrooms.
- Let me assist you. We don’t want you to get lost. Jacob would be heartbroken.
She nodded, smiling sweetly at him, but her clenched hand wanted to meet his face.
Anna was already planning how to get away, she felt her jacket slide down her back and John’s question made her heart stop.
- You and Jacob seem very close. Tell me, how did his lips taste?
Notes:
Please, blame my friend that I'm back. (Love you.)
On why I wasn't updating:
I was busy with life, got burnout and lost interest in FC5 for a few months.
A lot of things changed, I'm currently moving and getting used to living with my husband. I'll also going on my second honeymoon in October, so we'll see how far I can get this moving again, until I'll be cut off internet for month.
On burnout and losing interest: My interest in FC5 comes and goes in waves, but never goes away permanently. It comes, gets super intensive, and then leaves for some time. Same with writing, only with the difference I wanted to focus on a small project, which is now finished.As always, thank you for reading and your support <3
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Octavian_Grey on Chapter 11 Thu 13 Mar 2025 09:10PM UTC
Last Edited Thu 13 Mar 2025 09:11PM UTC
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