Chapter Text
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'CARINA ELAYNE TOUSSAINT'
I think we both seem to be having a difficult time with this, well, I don't even know what to call it. It's not that I don't believe in my mother... I just can't wrap my head around the fact that I have been walking around for so many years with false memories. Seeing people's faces and never knowing about our shared pasts? It just, it's an inconceivable thing to process.
It's as though my entire life was a big lie. Regulus appears to be going through this mental turmoil as well. At least, that's what Evan had told Maria, who then of course told me.
We haven't spoken since. Somehow, even in our shared classes for the past week, we haven't really had to...
I truly can't even recall much of what happened after the memories were 'restored'. I think him and I are due for a conversation at some point though. The question is when? And how? Maybe he doesn't care at all and I'm the one overthinking, or maybe he has seen something completely different? Maybe his memories aren't even close to what mine appear as.
Maybe they're not even real.
With a heavy sigh, I stared down at my dinner plate. I haven't been able to have a good appetite since. And these thoughts are never ending. It's the same thing over and over and over.
Maybe I shouldn't have been so eager to go through with it all.
"You've barely eaten." Remus stated softly, nudging me.
I pushed the plate forward and away from myself. "Guess I'm not that hungry."
"Again?" he questioned in that worried tone of his.
With another sigh, I buried my face in my hands.
"I can't stand to see you like this." he commented in response to my nonanswer.
I hate the way he's been pitying me. "Take a seat then." I said, the words coming out muffled through my palms.
It was Remus's turn to sigh.
Uncovering my face, I glanced around the Great Hall not finding who I was looking for. Why would I? I haven't seen him at any meals since that night. Coward. He's probably hiding away in his dorm or by the lake or, ugh, why should I care?
Clearly, he doesn't. Even after the entire promising thing he had me do. 'We're in this together, blah blah blah'. What absolute bull-
I jumped, feeling a tap from behind. Turning toward the source, I found my sister standing behind me awkwardly.
I wonder if she has her memories in a vial somewhere too, or maybe this was just some personal, decade long vendetta-prank against me specifically. It could all be a lie, but by who...?
Lizzie cleared her throat.
"Hey Liz, what's the matter?" I queried, observing her hands hidden behind her back.
I suddenly couldn't help but notice how different we both were.
"Father wrote a letter." she replied timidly, revealing her hands, which were actively fidgeting with a cream coloured envelope.
"What'd he say?" I asked. She lifted a hand out to me, offering the envelope. Hesitantly, I took it.
"You should read it yourself." she replied simply, turned on her heel and walked swiftly away from where we all sat without another word.
Are we even related? We were somehow raised by the same parents and yet she couldn't be farther from me than, well, I don't even know what, than Regulus is at the moment.
Bloody hell. Enough about that buffoon!
Aggressively turning the envelope over and nearly ripping the thing apart as I reached for the parchment my father had managed to find the time to scribble upon and send over to my sister, and not me, his eldest, I unfolded it and began reading.
Lizabeth,
I expect your studies are going well. I've not heard anything negative from your head of house, which only pleases me. Can't say the same for your sister, of whose antics I will not waste parchment for. Though, I'm sure you've heard things yourself.
A few orders of business for you. Firstly, I want to congratulate you on making it into the very exclusive and highly esteemed Slug Club. Seeing as your excellence in academics has impressed Professor Slughorn, he has informed me of his plans to invite you in, post holiday.
Secondly, our neighbours, The Blacks, noble and charitable as they are, have extended a gracious invitation to myself and my daughters, being you and your sister. They will be holding their annual Christmas Ball, a very esteemed and highly selective celebration for only the most elite of families within our society. The three of us are expected to attend.
I've already sent word to our tailor to prepare some gowns for you and your sister. I expect this to be a magnificent chance for us all to finally take greater part in shaping our societies futures. I cannot tell you more, but I expect your sister to be on her greatest behaviour. Something which I don't need to remind you of.
I will send Stephan to collect you both from the station. He will take you straight to the tailors to get fitted and altered, if need be. After which, I will expect you both home for dinner. We will have a few guests over; I expect your sister to look presentable for it. Can't have her embarrassing our family in front of important individuals.
Do me the courtesy of passing this information along to your sister.
Your Father,
Andre
Well, nothing out of the ordinary, I guess I could say, as expected. Leave it to father to scold me through my Lizzie's letter. He couldn't even address me himself, that... wonderful man...
Lizzie hasn't been invited to Slug Club yet and she's already getting congratulated. What do I get for having already there and in attendance? Absolutely nothing. I let out a sigh.
I wonder if Regulus knows we're going to his family's ball for Christmas.
"Anything out of the ordinary?" Remus asked, nudging me.
"Same old, Lizzie being praised, me being looked down upon. The usual." I replied, folding the letter back into the envelope.
Now that I think of it, his wording on a few things was quite peculiar. Mystery dinner guests? Shaping our societies futures?
I wonder if father had his memories taken as well.
"I think we need to do something fun!" Lily announced, leaning onto my left side. "How about a trip to the big city?"
"I thought you didn't like sneaking into London." I commented, leaving my hands on the table.
"Some early holiday shopping, a cafe or two, that record shop we didn't get to stay long in the last time around," Remus, having heard Lily's statement, added. "I'm sure Rose would understand."
"Did you both plan this attack on me or?" I questioned, watching as Sirius tried to fit as much candy into his robe pockets as he could.
"It's merely a fun suggestion; you look like you need a little fun!" Lily replied cheerfully.
"Gee, thanks." I muttered.
"176! Hah! Beat that!" Sirius exclaimed.
"I demand a recount!" James yelled, jumping up from his seat.
"You're just jealous I beat your high score!" Sirius replied, candy spilling out of his robe pockets.
"I'm on Lily's side. We should go tonight. It's only six ten; we've loads of time." Remus said, ignoring his friend's antics.
Sighing, and seeing no way out of London, I agreed.
***
"The record shops just past this street here." Remus said as he pointed somewhere ahead of him, Lily and I following closely behind.
The streets of London were already starting to decorate for the holiday season and the smarter muggles were getting ahead on their Christmas shopping. Same, I guess, as we now were.
We've been to four different shops so far and one cafe where we got hot cocoa, seeing as Lily wanted to warm up a bit. The weather is quite nippy this time around. We don't often come to London during Winter, mostly because of the muggle crowds. We tend to try and get our holiday shopping done in Hogsmeade.
Besides, I'm not a particularly big fan of how chilly and overly crowded London gets, closer to the Holidays, at least, if my newly restored memories are to be trusted.
Either way, it's been a not so bad experience thus far. Lily was right. I did need this.
"Thank Merlin, they're still open!" Remus exclaimed, holding the door open for us.
Lily and I walked in, immediately going in different directions. She went to the newest hits section meanwhile I walked over to the Walkman displays. This shop is pretty neat since it's a hybrid of records and also sells all sorts of cassette tapes, as well as the latest Walkman models.
I picked up one of the newer ones, examining it for a price. There's only one person who I am missing a gift for.
"They finally have the News of the World album, do you think I should get it for Sirius?" Remus asked, walking over to me.
"Is that even a question? It was sold out last time, so I would say get it while it's available." I replied, picking up a few blank cassette tapes.
"He would definitely love this. Who's the Walkman for?" Remus questioned, following me over to the cashier.
"Evenin' mates, we close in 20." the man at the register stated, leaning against the wall behind him, while actively pretending to chew on a toothpick.
I placed the Walkman and blank tapes onto the counter. "Do you have a cassette recorder?" I asked, watching him check the price of the Walkman.
"We sure do, 'xcept we close in 20. We do offer a service though, if you'd want to pay a few extra shillings. By the way, this newer model will cost ya a pretty penny." he stated, holding up the Walkman.
Eyeing him suspiciously, I asked, "how much we talking?"
"Well, brand new model, this thing'll set you lot back about £180 big ones." the man replied simply, placing it down onto the counter as Lily joined us at the checkout.
Remus gasped, "180?! Is it made of gold?" he questioned causing Lily to giggle at his reaction.
"It's an import, what'd you expect mate?" the cashier asked, crossing his arms over his chest.
"Alright, how much're you selling this album for then?" Remus asked, holding up the newest Queen LP.
"8 quid for that one. Same goes for the new ABBA your friend here is holding." the man replied, pointing to Lily.
"That's bollocks! Have the prices gone up from a month ago?!" Remus exclaimed.
The man looked as though he was getting ready to be all defensive, spitting the toothpick out into an area below the counter. "These are high demand albums! What do you expect? You want a cheap record? Go somewhere else then!" he retorted, trying to grab at the record Remus was holding up.
"If they're so 'high in demand', why are we holding them in your very empty shop!" Remus pointed out in frustration, dodging the man's attempt to steal away his record.
"You listen here mate, either buy something or I'm calling the coppers on you lot!" the man replied angrily, smacking his hands down on the counter.
"Okay, well I don't think we need to go that far. However, 8 quid for an album is a little pricey, don't you think?" Lily chimed in sweetly. "My friend here is just really passionate about his tunes, and we are all very loyal customers to this shop. Could you pretty please do us a small favour and sell them for 7? We promise we won't go around telling people you're underselling..." she explained, trying to sound as calm and sweet as possible. "It's just that, Billy told us we can come by in the first week of London for the new albums and he always sells to us for £7." she continued.
I must admit, her bargaining skills are quite alright.
The cashier eyed Remus then me, then turned over his attention to Lily. "Billy, you say?" he asked.
"Yes, Billy Aldworth. Big guy, scruffy beard, bald. I'm sure you know him." she replied.
The man thought for a moment, "of course I know Billy! Fine! If you say Billy sells for 7 then I'll do you all the favour this one and only time! Next time come on his workdays! I'm not getting in trouble for this!" he replied, taking both the albums and the blank cassettes and bagging them up as he added on the register. "Do you still want the new player?" he then asked me, while Lily and Remus counted up their coins to pay him.
"Do you have any older models? Something cheaper?" I replied, looking over at the wall of cassette players on our left.
"I can do an older model for £65, but no less than that!" he quickly added.
"I'll take it. And I'd also like to do that recording service you mentioned, if possible." I said, counting up my money to hand over to the man.
"If you've got your track list written out, I can have it done for you in two days. You can pick it up by the end of the day on Thursday or any day after. That brings you up to £70, plus the 2 blanks for £4 and £14 for both albums." he counted, walking over to the wall of Walkman's to get me an older model.
Remus sighed, placing the money on the counter. Lily added her half, and I counted up my own share, placing it down as well. As the man walked back over and shoved the Walkman into our bag, he pulled out another blank tape, scribbled on it, then counted through our money on the counter.
Lily looked around the shop as we waited for him to finish ringing us up while I managed to quickly scribble down a list of songs for the new tape. Of course, I can do it myself and well, that's what the blanks are for, but I'm curious to see how a professional place can have it done and it'd be two hours less of my time being used. But I guess if we consider the time it would take to come all the way here and pick it up, it would make no difference.
Either way, a few extra coins for a service seems fair to me. I'm in the giving spirit it seems.
"Here are your new albums," the cashier said, adding the Walkman and tapes into a separate smaller bag as Remus took the records. "And your tapes with the player." he added, handing it over to me.
"Thanks so much for your help." I said, passing him the track list. "We appreciate it, truly."
Taking the track list from me and having a quick glance at it, he mumbled something and attached it to the blank tape with a rubber band. "Good taste in music. Appreciate the business lads." he said, addressing us all with a nod.
"Have a good night and happy holiday season!" Lily replied, walking out of the shop, Remus and I following after her.
"Clean work back there Lils." Remus commented as we began our walk back to the Leaky Cauldron.
"I didn't know we knew a Billy." I stated, nudging Lily's side.
She giggled, "accidentally stumbled upon their employee yearbook. Not a clue why a record shop keeps one of those, but it worked in our favour!"
"That it did." I said, throwing an arm around her. "Who's up for some more hot cocoa?"
"Me!" Lily exclaimed.
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