Chapter 1: of priorites, confusing work gcs, searches and adult men with crushes
Chapter Text
Groupchat: Group Therapy
Trucy Wright: Kill me kill me kill me kill me kill me
Pearl Fey: NO
Trucy Wright: Please I am begging you Pearly if you love me you would
Pearl Fey: It’s just an assingment!!!
Trucy Wright: It’s killing me .
Cody Hackins: Roll up roll up for the latest instalment of Trucy Wright loosing her fucking mind
Cody Hackins: This week: evidence law
Trucy Wright: IT WOULD BE FINE IF IT WAS ANY OTHER LAW
Trucy Wright: BUT I TEXT MY DAD “hey can yuo give me pointers, I don’t understand this”
Trucy Wright: AND WHAT DOES HE RESPOND
Trucy Wright: HE RESPONDS
Trucy Wright: “lol you act like I ever obeyed evidence law in my life”
Trucy Wright: BITING, KICKING, SCREAMING, CRYING, PISSING, SHITTING, CUMMING
Cody Hackins: Woah violent.
Katri: This is concerning maybe I don’t want to go to uni
Trucy Wright: No it’s really fun I promise ;-;
Bonny de Famme: Can we get a Trucy update?
Betty de Famme: yeah we haven’t had one in a while
Trucy Wright: Trucy update: want to kill my father, professors, myself and my roommates
Trucy Wright: OH MY GOD DID I TELL YOU
Betty de Famme: probably not
Trucy Wright: The fucking football team had a party here last night
Trucy Wright: Coz I have this one roommate who's on the football team
Trucy Wright: The football team took it as a fucking challenge to see who could vomit in our sink I think
Betty de Famme: eww wtf
Trucy Wright: Fucking twll me about it
Trucy Wright: AND THEN
Pearl Fey: Oh god it's not over
Trucy Wright: THEY WERE DRINKING OUT OF MY PANS
Trucy Wright: THERES VOMIT IB MY PANS
Cody Hackins: Vomit on his sweater already
Betty de Famme: knees weak mom's spaghetti
Bonny de Famme: Stfu there's vomit in her pans
Trucy Wright: THERES FUCKING STROMBEAUX OR WHATEVER ON MY WALLS
Trucy Wright: WHY IS IT PURPLE
Katri: I have so many questions
Trucy Wright: Oh Kat you have no idea what living with so many other people is like
Trucy Wright: Everyday I walk into some bizarre cult like activity in our kitchen
Trucy Wright: Especially with the sport guys
Pearl Fey: Did what's his name steal your pot noodle again?
Trucy Wright: YES
Trucy Wright: HES SUCH A BITCH
Trucy Wright: TAKE ME HOME
Pearl Fey: It's not long till the next break!!!
Cody Hackins: I am so sorry
Betty de Famme: it is sort of funny tho
Trucy Wright: FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU DIE DIE DIE DIE
Betty de Famme: BET
Pearl Fey: GYUS PLEASE YOURE CONCERNING MAYA
Trucy Wright: Tell aunt maya thst if she wants to contact me she's gonna have to get you to channel me
Pearl Fey: Trucy
Trucy Wright: I cannot stand this Pearly THERE ARE DISHES IN THE SINK FROM 6 WEEKS AGO
Cody Hackins: Is there vomit on them too?
Trucy Wright: YES.
Trucy Wright: WHAT DO I DO ABOUT IT
Betty de Famme truce i know its really gross but like
Betty de Famme: that's not your stuff to clean up?
Trucy Wright: I CANT WASH MY DISHES BETS
Trucy Wright: MY CORNFLAKES ARE GONNA GET FUCKING WELDED TO THE BOWL
Betty de Famme: oh god
Katri: Dad wants to know if you guys only have one sink?
Trucy Wright: We only have one sink.
Katri: Dad says he's so sorry
Trucy Wright: Thank you Professor Hershel Layton
Katri: He's well-acquainted with the messes of university/college dorms and he wants to know if you have anyone to complain to
Trucy Wright: There probably is but I don't wanna be enemy number one on my floor
Cody Hackins: That's fair man
Trucy Wright: How's your weird roommate Cody?
Cody Hackins: Caught him trying to unblock the toilet with a coat hanger
Trucy Wright: Nothing new then
Cody Hackins: He keeps blocking it I literally don't know how he does it
Betty de Famme: massive shits
Bonny de Famme: Too much paper?
Cody Hackins: Genuinely could not tell you
Trucy Wright: Do you have an assignment due soon?
Cody Hackins: Nah handed mine in yesterday
Pearl Fey: …And how many hours before the deadline was that?
Cody Hackins: Rephrase.
Pearl Fey: How many minutes?
Cody Hackins: 3
Trucy Wright: Have you ever felt anxiety in your life
Cody Hackins: Yes
Cody Hackins: Alas I had other things to do
Trucy Wright: Like what
Cody Hackins: I had fanfiction to write
Trucy Wright: I rate that actually
Cody Hackins: Thank you
Katri: You guys' priorities are so skewed
Trucy Wright: You are 14 and the type of autistic that makes you smart
Katri: JSJXJDJGGN TRUCY
Cody Hackins: I mean she's right I'm the type of autistic that can't do anything unless it is related to my hyperfixations
Cody Hackins: I literally had to convince myself I was the steel samurai hacking into a database to write my essay
Cody Hackins: Next assignment is practical tho so I'm looking forward to it
Trucy Wright: And I just have to enter the hyperfocus zone™ to get mine done in record time so
Katri: I see I see
Trucy Wright: I genuinely don't understand how you do it
Katri: If I knew how I did it I'd tell you
Katri: Every time I go into a test I come out believing I've done terribly and then I get my results back and every time I am baffled
Cody Hackins: God I wish that were me
Katri: I am relentlessly bullied :)
Pearl Fey: Really? :(
Katri: I mean
Katri: I have some friends
Katri: A friend
Pearl Fey: Oh…
Trucy Wright: It's alright coz you got us! Even though that really does suck :(
Betty de Famme: i mean irl and online friends are kinda different
Betty de Famme: not like better or anything but it can be kinda isolating
Katri: To be fair, I don't really like people anyway
Katri: I'm kinda content with my one friend lmao
Bonny de Famme: As long as you're alright Kat <3
Katri: Yeah I'm OK
Trucy Wright: Who is your bestie anyway?
Pearl Fey: Yeah I'm interested!
Katri: Oh just Ernest
Trucy Wright: I have never heard about Ernest
Katri: Um.
Katri: He's nice.
Katri: I think he would follow me if I jumped off a cliff however but that's besides the point
Betty de Famme: that sounds so healthy.
Bonny de Famme: Hmm
Katri: I am exagerrating
Katri: Sort of.
Cody Hackins: UM ANYWAY
Cody Hackins: WHY DO YOU WANT TO KILL YOUR PROFESSORS TRUCE
Trucy Wright: Ugh its this assignment
Trucy Wright: I email the module lead, he tells me to email the course lead. I email the course lead, she tells me to "refer back to the readings and the handbook for further guidance"
Trucy Wright: BITCH THE READING LINKS DONT WORK AND THE HANDBOOK IS 624 PAGES LONG
Pearl Fey: Oh wtf
Betty de Famme: remember kids, don't go to law school
Bonny de Famme: It's nothing like Legally Blonde!
Trucy Wright: It isn't :(
Cody Hackins: This is so distressing
Pearl Fey: What are you gonna do then? I'm worried now!
Trucy Wright: I'm waiting for Papa to answer me coz he actually knows the law
Cody Hackins: Does he
Trucy Wright: ?
Cody Hackins: What's the law on cross-examining six year olds?
Trucy Wright: Idk I haven't learned that yet
Trucy Wright: I'm sure Papa is in the right tho :3
Cody Hackins: Bitch
Groupchat: Can we get anything Wright?
Trucy Wright: Papa are you home yet I am desperate now
Pheonix Wright: When's the deadline?
Trucy Wright: Tomorrow 11 am
Pheonix Wright: Ah.
Pheonix Wright: I am genuinely sorry I can't help you more sweetheart
Trucy Wright: It's ok Dad I kinda knew this wasn't gonna be your forte
Pheonix Wright: Ah such faith in me
Trucy Wright: Dad I was 17 and getting you to confess to your crush, its safe to say my faith in you has always been lacking
Apollo Justice: Oof low blow
Trucy Wright: Am I wrong?
Apollo Justice: Nope
Pheonix Wright: You guys are so mean to me
Trucy Wright: Yes and?
Pheonix Wright: Why are you on here rn anyway Pollo you've got a case to investigate
Apollo Justice: I came to ask if you had the Dawson murder file to hand
Pheonix Wright: Oh yeah I was reading over that last night before bed I meant to bring that back
Trucy Wright: I think I should make a bingo sheet of stuff you do that every single professor I have tells me not to
Pheonix Wright: Please don't I don't wanna be disbarred again
Apollo Justice: Can you bring the Dawson file to the office please?
Pheonix Wright: Uhhh one sec
Pheonix Wright: Pess.mp4
It's a video set to the "please let me do it for you" tiktok sound, zooming in on Pess the borzoi at various comedic angles. Phoenix has forgotten to mute it so each clip has a cut off sound of his laughter underneath .
Miles Edgeworth: I have never regretted getting you a smartphone more
Pheonix Wright: :)
Apollo Justice: I don't think I even have any words
Mikoto Wright: Why does that Dog look Like a fox question mark send text
Pheonix Wright: Okan, it's Pess
Mikoto Wright: No
Trucy Wright: Baba, I assure you it is
Mikoto Wright: Pess is A. Different dog question mark send text
Pheonix Wright: It's Pess she just looks funny in that video
Pheonix Wright: Also Truce what is your opinion on my masterpiece
Trucy Wright: I think you need to get to the office before Apollo actually kills you
Apollo Justice: I concur
Trucy Wright: ALSO PAPA CAN I CALL YOU
Miles Edgeworth: Woah.
Miles Edgeworth: Yes?
Miles Edgeworth: Why?
Miles Edgeworth: Are you in danger?
Miles Edgeworth: Do you need help???
Trucy Wright: YES BUT ONLY WITH EVIDENCE LAW
Miles Edgeworth: Oh.
Miles Edgeworth: Ok then.
Miles Edgeworth: Give me one second I think Simon and Klavier are trying to kill each other on the prosecutors groupchat
Trucy Wright: HURRY
Groupchat: of course you didn't have a good childhood look at you you're a prosecutor
Simon Blackquill: KLAVIER
Klavier Gavin: Ja
Simon Blackquill: TEA DOES NOT BELONG IN THE FRIDGE
Klavier Gavin: I know :)
Simon Blackquill: WHY
Klavier Gavin: :)
Simon Blackquill: I DIDNT DO SHIT TO YOUR OFFICE
Klavier Gavin: Nein. You didn't.
Simon Blackquill: Why are you attacking me personally???
Klavier Gavin: I'm bored.
Simon Blackquill: What is wrong with you
Klavier Gavin: Quite a lot actually
Miles Edgeworth: I don't think you two want to start a war with each other
Klavier Gavin: Warum?
Simon Blackquill: Why it's funny
Miles Edgeworth: Sort of didn't go well the last time the Germans and the British fought
Simon Blackquill: HAHAHAHAH
Klavier Gavin: PFFFT OK JA GOOD POINT
Miles Edgeworth: Can you two stop being menaces now? I need to teach my daughter law
Franny: Doesn't your husband have a day off today?
Miles Edgeworth: Evidence law
Franny: Ah I see
Diego Armando: I genuinely hate to ask this but can someone come help me with the laminator
Diego Armando: It's doing that thing I can't see again
Sebby Debby: Oh I'll help!
Diego Armando: Oh god anyone but him
Sebby Debby: Why :(
Diego Armando: No offence but it'll take 3 hours
Lally Callabichi: omw
Diego Armando: Thank you
Miles Edgeworth: I think I hate my daughter's professors actually
Yuta: Oh Holy Mother why
Miles Edgeworth: First they changed Math now they changed law
Sebby Debby: With all due respect I don't think they did
Miles Edgeworth: It's different now
Miles Edgeworth: They're phrasing it differently
Miles Edgeworth: My brain can't do it
Franny: Completely unrelated question but how's the autism assessment going?
Miles Edgeworth: Really well actually thank you for asking.
Miles Edgeworth: WHO WAS IN LAW SCHOOL THE MOST RECENTLY AND CAN I PUT YOU ON THE PHONE TO MY DAUGHTER
Lally Callabichi: how recently is recently?
Miles Edgeworth: When did you leave?
Lally Callabichi: about 8 months ago?
Miles Edgeworth: Excellent Mx Callabichi can you come to my office immediately
Lally Callabichi: um give me like 20 minutes to finish mr armando's tech issue and I'll be right there
Diego Armando: THIS WOULDN'T BE AN ISSUE IF THE ERROR TEXF WASNT RED ON A WHITE BACKGROUND
Yuta: Maybe you should try sight
Simon Blackquill: Yeah loser sounds like a skill issue
Klavier Gavin: It also wouldn't be an issue if you knew how to use technology
Sebby Debby: Ooo get him
Diego Armando: This is so unfair
Franny: Mmm no this is funny
Diego Armando: I'm resigning
Miles Edgeworth: No you're not
Diego Armando: You're right I'm not
Lally Callabichi: done
Diego Armando: Lally you're a genius
Lally Callabichi: no im just 23
Miles Edgeworth: Lally
Lally Callabichi: yes mr edgeworth i am on my way
Franny: Bless them they really are keeping this office afloat
Klavier Gavin: I'm gonna google and see if there's a tech seminar or something we can participate in
Diego Armando: Yeah. Please.
Miles Edgeworth: @Payne are you or are you not taking the Dawson case?
Sebby Debby: Do you or do you not feel ✨️bonita✨️
Winston Payne: I am not taking the Dawson case
Klavier Gavin: I feel bonita
Miles Edgeworth: Any reason why before I fire you?
Sebby Debby: ✨️wonderful because you look bonita!✨️
Winston Payne: I am at a funeral
Miles Edgeworth: Ah my condolences
Miles Edgeworth: Gavin, Debeste, that is incredibly unprofessional please stop referencing Family Guy in the work chat
Klavier Gavin: Why the fuck do you know that that's family guy
Miles Edgeworth: Maya
Franny: Alas I can confirm
Sebby Debby: I don't think I've ever read a sadder text
Sebby Debby: And I've read one from my father telling me that I'm disowned!
Miles Edgeworth: Debeste do you want to be referred to the office therapy service again?
Sebby Debby: Yes please
Groupchat: why am I the only one popping their pussy right now -mia fey, posthumously
Athena Cykes: a
Apollo Justice: b
Athena Cykes: c
Pheonix Wright: d
Maya Fey: e
Pearl Fey: f
Athena Cykes: g
Pheonix Wright: h
Apollo Justice: Guys why are we doing this
Maya Fey: holy shit guys pollo is remixing the alphabet
Athena Cykes: and its fire
Apollo Justice: No but like actually what's the point
Athena Cykes: in living? good question
Apollo Justice: Athena.
Athena Cykes: yes?
Apollo Justice: What's the problem?
Athena Cykes: my witness called me carrot head and i think it was the last straw
Athena Cykes: also if i hear yuta and si one more time through the wall i may throw myself out of my window
Apollo Justice: HAHAHAHAHA
Apollo Justice: DEAL WITH IT BUSTER
Athena Cykes: I AM DEALING WITH THEM BUSTING THATS THE ISSUE
Pheonix Wright: AGDHFHAHAHAHA
Athena Cykes: how is he that loud i don't understand
Athena Cykes: does he not have any shame
Maya Fey: maybe their dicks just that good
Apollo Justice: I don't really want to think about this
Athena Cykes: I DONT HAVE A CHOICE
Apollo Justice: THIS WAS ME LAST YEAR
Athena Cykes: AAA
Pearl Fey: Guys I don't want to alarm you but the girl from upstairs knocked on our door and told us to turn Bears In Trees off :(
Athena Cykes: WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY
Pheonix Wright: That's not very And Everyone Else Smiled Back of her
Pearl Fey: Apparently its not very conjewsif to a good working environment
Apollo Justice: The fuck do they even do up there
Pearl Fey: Divorce lawyers I think
Pearl Fey: She told us to at least turn it down :(
Maya Fey: kill her
Pheonix Wright: Ever considered this is why you keep getting arrested for murder?
Maya Fey: no ive never done anything wrong in my entire life
Pheonix Wright: That's a lie you've stolen so much money from me
Maya Fey: no i deserved that
Pheonix Wrighty: I earned that?!?!?!?
Athena Cykes: god forbid women do anything
Maya Fey: see she gets it
Pheonix Wright: I give up
Pheonix Wright: I am simply going to drink my silly little oat milk coffee and text my silly little texts
Apollo Justice: Can you please do your job?
Pheonix Wright: I'll consider it
Pheonix Wright: I've considered it and the answer is no
Apollo Justice: I despise you
Pheonix Wright: I love you too son
Apollo Justice: Don't emotionally manipulate me like that I'll cry
Maya Fey: don't bully me ill cum
Apollo Justice: And what if I did
Trucy Wright: Guys do you ever work
Athena Cykes: nah
Pheonix Wright: Rarely
Apollo Justice: Yes actually quite hard
Maya Fey: (he's lying)
Pearl Fey: Guys upstairs girl is here again
Pheonix Wright: ITS NOT EVEN PLAYING THAT LOUDLY IM SORRY
Trucy Wright: Turn it up just to spite her
Pheonix Wright: Trucy Wright are you doing your assignment?
Trucy Wright: YES DAD
Trucy Wright: God forbid women do anything
Pheonix Wright: Why is the joke today that I hate women
Athena Cykes: GUYS HE SAID IT
Maya Fey: WOAH NICK ITS 2029 YOU CANT SAY THAT
Pearl Fey: DUDE WTF
Apollo Justice: Fucking hell I'm going to visit the detention centre I hate you all
Trucy Wright: Cope
Apollo Justice: Actually you know what
Apollo Justice: This is homophobia, transphobia and ableism actually
Trucy Wright: Go cry about it
Apollo Justice: You're adopted
Trucy Wright: SO ARE YOU
Trucy Wright: At least mom wanted me
Pheonix Wright: Too far?
Apollo Justice: Nah this is war
Apollo Justice: At least mom gave me a bracelet all you got was abandonment issues
Trucy Wright: At least I had a dad growing up all you had was barbecue
Apollo Justice: HAHAHA
Apollo Justice: Ok but I actually do have to go meet with my client now
Trucy Wright: Pussy
Apollo Justice: That's rich coming from you
Trucy Wright: At least I get some
Apollo Justice: IM GAY?
Trucy Wright: WHAT DO YOU WANT A TROPHY??
Apollo Justice: I can never win
Pheonix Wright: You gotta learn that you just can't some days
Trucy Wright: Correction Apollo Justice can't, everyone else can
Apollo Justice: WHY ME
Pheonix Wright: Why the fuck is Professor Layton messaging me
Trucy Wright: Good question
Trucy Wright: I'm worried about his daughter btw
Apollo Justice: Do your fucking assignment
Maya Fey: woah apollo why are you swearing at her
Athena Cykes: yeah what did she ever do to you
Apollo Justice: She was born
Pheonix Wright: HAHAHA
Private chat between Hershel Layton and Phoenix Wright
Hershel: Phoenix
Pheonix Wright: Hershel?
Hershel Layton: I need advice
Pheonix Wright: You?
Pheonix Wright: From me???
Hershel Layton: Yes
Hershel Layton: I am in a predicament.
Pheonix Wright: Elaborate
Hershel Layton: I am in a predicament.
Pheonix Wright: That's not elaborating
Hershel Layton: Sorry
Hershel Layton: I'm just trying to phrase it properly in order to keep my reputation as the wise professor in your eyes
Pheonix Wright: Hersh you lost that the moment you called me in a panic asking me if you had illegally adopted all your children
Pheonix Wright: and then you made me oversee your legal paperwork and I realised your common sense is even less than mine
Hershel Layton: Alright good point
Hershel Layton: Ok so my predicament
Pheonix Wright: If you use that word again I am coming to London specifically to harm you
Hershel Layton: Very ominous
Pheonix Wright: My speciality
Hershel Layton: My pre
Hershel Layton: My problem is that I think I'm in love with my childhood friend
Pheonix Wright: HAHAHAHAAH
Pheonix Wright: OH HOW THE TABLES HAVE TURNED
Pheonix Wright: PRRRRRRICK
Hershel Layton: Alright alright laugh it off have your fun
Pheonix Wright: Wait which one
Pheonix Wright: Are we talking one of the married ones or are we talking the one that literally tried to kill you and luke
Hershel Layton: The second one.
Pheonix Wright: OH NOOOOOO
Pheonix Wright: HAHAHAAHAHA
Hershel Layton: STOP LAUGHING AT ME
Pheonix Wright: I DONT THINK I WILL ACTUALLY
Pheonix Wright: AT LEAST MILES NEVER TRIED TO KILL ME
Hershel Layton: Nick he accused you of murder and your country has the death penalty
Pheonix Wright: RANDALL HUNG LUKE 40 FT IN THE AIR SUPPORTED ONLY BY ROPE AND THREATENED TO CUT IT
Hershel Layton: HAH actually that was Des
Pheonix Wright: THAT WAS YOUR BROTHER????
Hershel Layton: :)
Pheonix Wright: WHAT DID RANDALL DO
Hershel Layton: Everything else
Pheonix Wright: Oh my god you're hopeless
Pheonix Wright: This is so funny
Hershel Layton: STOP LAUGHING AT ME
Hershel Layton: WHAT DO I DO
Pheonix Wright: Um
Pheonix Wright: Good question
Hershel Layton: How did you do it again?
Pheonix Wright: …
Hershel Layton: Phoenix
Pheonix Wright: My daughter started a groupchat with a bunch of our friends who then proceeded to try increasingly creative ways to engineer us getting together before they eventually just added me to the chat and bullied me
Hershel Layton: Wow
Hershel Layton: I don't really want to do that
Hershel Layton: Correction, I don't want Flora or Kat to do that
Pheonix Wright: They wouldn't they're far more well behaved than Truce
Hershel Layton: Flora is in her rebellious phase
Pheonix Wright: Oh what the fuck
Hershel Layton: She's started to do riddles instead of puzzles
Pheonix Wright: Excuse me
Hershel Layton: I'm at my wits end
Pheonix Wright: You would go into cardiac arrest if you were in my family
Hershel Layton: Nick I died.
Pheonix Wright: What
Hershel Layton: Remember that I died
Pheonix Wright: What the fuck are you talking about
Pheonix Wright: Have you finally gone senile old man
Hershel Layton: I AM ONLY 3 YEARS OLDER THAN YOU
Hershel Layton: And yes I died
Hershel Layton: It was the azran I don't like talking about it
Pheonix Wright: What does this mean
Hershel Layton: It means you shouldn't be so mean to me I literally died
Pheonix Wright: Do you want a medal
Hershel Layton: No I want advice
Pheonix Wright: I don't have any advice?
Pheonix Wright: Idk ask Emmy
Hershel Layton: I already have
Hershel Layton: She was meaner to me
Pheonix Wright: Ask Angela
Hershel Layton: I would rather die again
Pheonix Wright: Ask
Pheonix Wright: What's her husbands name
Hershel Layton: Henry
Hershel Layton: And absolutely fucking not
Pheonix Wright: Uhhh Desmond
Hershel Layton: HAHAHAHA
Hershel Layton: Do you know what Desmond would say to me?
Pheonix Wright: No ive spoken to him once
Hershel Layton: Desmond would tell me Randall's too good for me and then proceed to dance on my grave
Pheonix Wright: Sibling behaviour
Hershel Layton: You are an only child
Pheonix Wright: So were you in all technicality
Hershel Layton: Shh
Pheonix Wright: Pollo and Trucy were just bullying eachother in the cruelest way possible it was kinda funny
Hershel Layton: Oh Alfendi can be brutal
Pheonix Wright: Do yours pull the you're adopted card?
Hershel Layton: Oh constantly
Pheonix Wright: It's so good
Hershel Layton: Anyway what do I do
Pheonix Wright: I DONT KNOW
Pheonix Wright: Stop being Hershel Layton and kiss him the next time you see him
Hershel Layton: No because he's literally sat next to me on the sofa right now
Pheonix Wright: WELL I DIDNT KNOW THAT
Hershel Layton: NOW YOU DO
Pheonix Wright: Ugh give him the phone I'll confess for you
Hershel Layton: THATS LITERALLY THE WORST IDEA YOUVE EVER HAD
Pheonix Wright: I ate a glass necklace once I don't think it is
Hershel Layton: What
Hershel Layton: Why
Pheonix Wright: Wanted to stop my girlfriend from going to jail
Hershel Layton: Ok you're clinically stupid
Pheonix Wright: Your two answers when I'm stuck with a case are it's robots or its drugs
Hershel Layton: Hallucinogenic gas actually
Pheonix Wright: That does not make it better
Hershel Layton: Alright genius explain any of my cases then
Pheonix Wright: I can't England confuses me too much
Pheonix Wright: Every time I go I get the weird feeling I'm in Labrynthia again
Hershel Layton: Maybe you are
Pheonix Wright: There are bugs under your skin
Hershel Layton: EUGH
Pheonix Wright: NOT NICE IS IT
Hershel Layton: Why did I ever come to you
Pheonix Wright: Because I'm the only American you tolerate
Hershel Layton: That's a lie I like your husband more than you
Pheonix Wright: WHAT
Pheonix Wright: Just coz you both like tea
Hershel Layton: Ooo I should make a cup of tea
Pheonix Wright: No you should confess to your love interest
Hershel Layton: One of those is a lot easier than the other
Pheonix Wright: Not if you don't own a kettle
Hershel Layton: Well guess what I own and you don't
Pheonix Wright: You're on your own
Groupchat: Group Therapy
Katri: I think my dad's in love with his best friend I have literally never seen him look at someone like that before
Trucy Wright: OOOO TELL ME MORE??
Pearl Fey Isn't he married?
Katri: N
Katri: No?
Pearl Fey But there's that woman that always hangs out with him
Katri: Emmy?
Katri: Emmy is a lesbian
Katri: They have a love hate relationship
Trucy Wright: HAHAHAA
Katri: The bullying is relentless
Trucy Wright: Just like Dad and Maya
Pearl Fey I don't mean Emmy I mean Claire
Trucy Wright: Who?
Pearl Fey You know, Claire. Red hair, glasses, lab coat that she never takes off which always has like oil or somthing on
Pearl Fey Oh my god she's dead isn't she
Katri: I mean considering I have no idea what you're talking about, yes I think so
Trucy Wright: Pearl this is getting bad I think you need to talk to your family about it
Pearl Fey Yeah not being able to tell who's dead or alive is not great
Bonny de Famme: Is this a new development??
Betty de Famme: yeah what the entire fuck
Pearl Fey It's new but it's not
Pearl Fey I've always been able to feel spirits a lot more than the others
Pearl Fey Then I started training more and more and the more I did it the more I could see them
Pearl Fey They got more and more real and now I genuinly can't tell the living from the dead its a real issue
Pearl Fey On the upside I've been spending more time with Mia
Cody Hackins: I keep forgetting that you deadass deal with the occult
Cody Hackins: Then I am brutally reminded when I check the chat and you're going all "I see dead people" on us
Pearl Fey Haha yeah sorry
Pearl Fey I need to check some of the books and talk about it to Maya coz I genuinly thought that Claire was living like she spoke to me
Katri: Did she say anything about why she was sticking around my dad?
Pearl Fey Um I mean she spoke about him with such affection that I thought she was his wife so
Katri: That's so weird I do not know who she is at all
Trucy Wright: I mean Layton is like. King of repression. So.
Katri: Yeah I might ask him about her
Katri: Just because I know about the majority of dead people in his life
Trucy Wright: The fact that that is how you have to phrase that is kind of funny
Pearl Fey Im a really sad way
Katri: It is quite sad but he's still a good dad despite the trauma
Trucy Wright: Thankfully coz it could be so easy to just
Trucy Wright: Idk
Trucy Wright: Be an asshole
Pearl Fey Yeah like my mom
Trucy Wright: Yeah like Pearl's mom
Pearl Fey Or your mom
Trucy Wright: Or my mom
Bonny de Famme: You guys worry me
Betty de Famme: true
Bonny de Famme: Like on a deep guttural level
Trucy Wright: Good
Pearl Fey Don't you have an assingment to do
Trucy Wright: Yeah….
Pearl Fey Truce…
Trucy Wright: Ugh but I don't wanna
Cody Hackins: It's due in like 6 hours you've got time
Betty de Famme: don't encourage her
Katri: So I asked him about Claire.
Katri: Apparently she's his ex
Katri: All I can say to that is that he has a type
Katri: But get this
Katri: The top hat is from her, he never really got over her death which is why he keeps it with him at all times, apparently she died in a time machine accident which also killed my uncle Clive's parents and that's why we don't like prime minister Bill Hawks
Trucy Wright: The fuck has that got to do with the prime minister
Katri: Oh he was working on the time machine
Katri: Technically he killed her
Trucy Wright: Is he in jail for that?!?!
Katri: HAHA of course not he's a British prime minister the law doesn't apply to him
Trucy Wright: That's so bad wtf
Katri: He's still the tory candidate for the next election
Katri: They don't give two shits MAN I HATE BRITISH POLITICS LOL
Trucy Wright: It's fine man remember when that guy literally got put on trial for tax evasion and was still allowed to run for president
Katri: Haha yeah the world is so awful
Pearl Fey I find it sad that you're 14 and still you have so little hope
Katri: It's the cynicism I learnt from my father
Pearl Fey Im sorry
Betty de Famme: where is his joy and whimsy
Katri: I dunno really
Katri: Maybe it's just the amount of trauma he's endured
Betty de Famme: has he considered therapy
Katri: Um
Katri: Flora, Luke and Emmy are staging an intervention tomorrow
Trucy Wright: Kat one question
Trucy Wright: I was talking with Dad
Trucy Wright: Why is literally everyone in your house right now apparently Randall's there too
Trucy Wright: Is that who he's in love with??
Katri: It's like a little reunion thing it's an anniversary of something but I don't really pay attention when they speak to me sometimes
Katri: Most of the time
Katri: I'm texting Ernest :3
Katri: And yes I was talking about Randall
Betty de Famme: first of all never use :3 again it sickens me
Bonny de Famme: BE NICE
Betty de Famme: no
Betty de Famme: tell me more about this ernest guy
Katri: I've already told you about him!
Katri: He's just my best friend
Betty de Famme: really
Katri: Well
Katri: I think he has a massive crush on me but that's it
Betty de Famme: well that's new information
Katri: That's all though I don't think he thinks it's going anywhere
Betty de Famme: but would you be opposed to it
Katri: I mean I don't think so?!
Betty de Famme: 👁👁
Katri: Stoooopppp
Betty de Famme: ehehehe
Betty de Famme: all done out of love
Groupchat: why am I the only one popping their pussy right now -mia fey, posthumously
Apollo Justice: Athena can you please stop giggling at your phone I need your help
Athena Cykes: im busy actually
Apollo Justice: Who are you talking to
Athena Cykes: simon
Athena Cykes: we're playing was it my evil secondary school or prison
Athena Cykes: ive gotten most of them wrong it's really funny how many basic human rights got violated
Apollo Justice: In prison or in school?
Athena Cykes: both
Athena Cykes: that's why the game is funny
Apollo Justice: Concerning
Athena Cykes: like you think having to rota lunches because the canteen was too small to have people not packed in like cattle sounds like prison right?
Athena Cykes: nope si's secondary school!
Pheonix Wright: Isn't that lowkey illegal
Athena Cykes: exactly
Maya Fey: wow yikes
Athena Cykes: banned the use of any support animals including guide dogs?
Pheonix Wright: Prison?
Athena Cykes: nope that was the school i went to in france
Maya Fey: eh i mean yeah checks out
Pheonix Wright: France is a pvp enabled zone
Apollo Justice: What does that mean
Pheonix Wright: None of your damn business
Pheonix Wright: Oh also your client is deffo guilty
Apollo Justice: Oh yeah I know
Apollo Justice: I'm debating whether to take the L or palm the case off on the ELO guys
Pheonix Wright: ELO guys I reckon
Apollo Justice: Feels kinda dodge tho
Pheonix Wright: Meh
Pheonix Wright: Can you actually be asked
Apollo Justice: No not really
Groupchat: holy shit my mozzarella sticks are here -ray shields, 4 am
Raymond Shields: Kids if Apollo Justice shows up, don't let him in
Raymond Shields: I've just had to shoo him off
Laura Williams: Why
Raymond Shields: He's trying to give us the Dawkins murder
Laura Williams: Ah the no-hope case
Ollie Lone: i think we could manage to get the guy off the hook if we tried hard enough
Laura Williams: We haven't got a hope in hell honey he's so guilty
Ollie Lone: elaborate
Laura Williams: Well for a start his fingerprints are all over the murder weapon
Ollie Lone: could be planted
Laura Williams: He has no alibi
Ollie Lone: timing could be weird
Laura Williams: He has a motive
Ollie Lone: i mean if you showed up dead most of us have a motive
Laura Williams: What the fuck dude
Ollie Lone: im just sayin
Raymond Shields: Kids. Behave.
Laura Williams: Also the waa only give cases to us if they're sure the defendants are guilty its kinda shitty of them actually
Ollie Lone: actually yeah you got a point there
Ollie Lone: if phoenix fucking wright thinks he's guilty he 100% is
Raymond Shields: They could be changing their ways?
Miles Edgeworth: They aren't my husband just texted me begging you guys to take the case so
Miles Edgeworth: Easy win for us lol
Ollie Lone: why are you even on this chat again
Miles Edgeworth: Because through inheritance law I technically own your agency
Miles Edgeworth: So you know.
Miles Edgeworth: Sorry.
Laura Williams: Maybe you should become a defense attorney and join us
Miles Edgeworth: Well when one changes they can't change back
Miles Edgeworth: Plus I don't really want to
Raymond Shields: Not even for me?
Miles Edgeworth: No.
Raymond Shields: 😢
Laura Williams: Mr Shields he's back again
Ollie Lone: let him cry let's go deal with the bug man
Laura Williams: What
Ollie Lone: don't you think he kinda looks like a beetle
Laura Williams: I
Laura Williams: Sure
Miles Edgeworth: Good luck with the case
Miles Edgeworth: HAH
Raymond Shields: He thinks he's so fucking funny
Raymond Shields: Dickhead I knew him when he couldn't walk
Ollie Lone: idiot just start walking
Raymond Shields: Ikr
Laura Williams: You guys are just so odd
Ollie Lone: girl can you move i need coffee
Laura Williams: 🖕
Groupchat: Can we get anything Wright
Pheonix Wright: Okan what was dad's name
Mikoto Wright: I can think of a few.
Mikoto Wright: Dickhead, bastard, asshole, buotoko, temae, aho. Many others. Why?
Pheonix Wright: I mean his actual name
Pheonix Wright: Thanks for that though I needed more Japanese swear words
Mikoto Wright: I would prefer it if you didn't repeat those.
Pheonix Wright: Welp
Mikoto Wright: Your father's name was Nathan.
Mikoto Wright: Is Nathan.
Mikoto Wright: He could be dead, I don't care.
Pheonix Wright: I see
Pheonix Wright: Thank you
Mikoto Wright: Why?
Pheonix Wright: Oh boy you're not gonna like it
Mikoto Wright: Phoenix Ryuuichi Wright, what does this mean?
Pheonix Wright: I am trying to find him
Mikoto Wright: …
Pheonix Wright: Sorry
Mikoto Wright: Can I kill him when you do?
Pheonix Wright: Sure
Mikoto Wright: Brilliant.
Trucy Wright: Wasn't he in the military or something
Pheonix Wright: TRUCY YOUR ASSIGNMENT
Trucy Wright: SUBMITTED KEEP YOUR SPIKES ON
Mikoto Wright: Well done Trucy-chan!
Trucy Wright: Thank you Baba
Pheonix Wright: I feel like this is favouritism
Mikoto Wright: Clearly.
Mikoto Wright: And yes he was in the military.
Mikoto Wright: We don't talk about it though.
Pheonix Wright: Yeah he's not a great guy
Trucy Wright: I mean being completely absent for 38 years is pretty abhorrent
Pheonix Wright: 39
Trucy Wright: My god you're getting old
Mikoto Wright: Imagine how I feel.
Trucy Wright: Are you using text to speech still Baba?
Mikoto Wright: No, I gave up.
Mikoto Wright: A little bit of paint on my screen is worth it for clarity and no punctuation within sentences.
Trucy Wright: Ooo what are you working on?
Mikoto Wright: A portrait of a family for a commission.
Trucy Wright: Nice!
Mikoto Wright: They are paying good money but it is driving me a little insane.
Trucy Wright: How come?
Mikoto Wright: Their outfits are terribly clashing.
Pheonix Wright: I see
Mikoto Wright: All oranges and reds.
Mikoto Wright: Violently ill.
Trucy Wright: Pfft
Trucy Wright: I miss you guys can I come home yet
Pheonix Wright: Literally picking you up tomorrow
Trucy Wright: ;-;
Pheonix Wright: I mean
Pheonix Wright: @Miles when do you finish today?
Miles Edgeworth: 6pm
Pheonix Wright: Could I perchance trouble you to pick up our darling daughter from college?
Miles Edgeworth: It's a 2 hour drive
Pheonix Wright: Please?
Pheonix Wright: Pleeeeeeeeeease?
Pheonix Wright: I'll do whatever ;)
Trucy Wright: EWW
Miles Edgeworth: Disgusting man
Miles Edgeworth: You are coming with me
Pheonix Wright: Real?
Miles Edgeworth: Yes
Pheonix Wright: YIPPEE
Apollo Justice: meine Mutter hat mir einen Cola getrinken
Pheonix Wright: Wie cool ist das bitten?
Miles Edgeworth: Ich spielt Fortnite
Apollo Justice: Und trinkt Cola
Trucy Wright: YIPPEE!!!
Mikoto Wright: What on Earth are you talking about?
Apollo Justice: It's like my favourite video it reminds me of Klavier
Miles Edgeworth: HA
Mikoto Wright: Do I even want to know?
Trucy Wright: I'll show you when I come home :)
Groupchat: I am autism I live in your children
Simon Blackquill: Guys.
Yuta: Here we go.
Ema Skye: you good?
Athena Cykes: yuta is this what i think it is
Yuta: Highly likely
Simon Blackquill: I'm back in my vocaloid phase.
Athena Cykes: I THOUGHT I HEARD HATSUNE MIKU COMING FROM YOUR ROOM
Kay Faraday: AHAHAHAH WHY
Simon Blackquill: I picked up project sekai and the rest is a blur
Sebby Debby: Yeah that happens
Simon Blackquill: I don't know if I'm strong enough to do this again
Athena Cykes: cease your dramticisms its just hatsune miku
Simon Blackquill: No its not try again
Athena Cykes: i can't hear it over my kpop
Kay Faraday: you have no leg to stand on here thena
Ema Skye: si turn it up louder so we can hear it downstairs
Sebby Debby: Top ten things you shouldn't do
Kay Faraday: holy shit he did
Ema Skye: it's jack pot sad girl next question
Simon Blackquill: Ok
Ema Skye: OH SHIT I FORGOT THE NAME
Ema Skye: its 7 deadly sins but its the lust one
Kay Faraday: the madness of duke venomania!!
Simon Blackquill: How about this
Ema Skye: secrets of wisteria come on now
Yuta: That's ENOUGH I am trying to play FANTASY LIFE
Simon Blackquill: YOU ARENT HERE.
Apollo Justice: Holy Mother you guys are all so lame
Athena Cykes: ok neighbours watcher
Simon Blackquill: WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU MY NAN?
Apollo Justice: LISTEN LISTEN LISTEN
Sebby Debby: This is so funny
Kay Faraday: homestuck
Sebby Debby: Low blow
Kay Faraday: come on you have so much material with me
Sebby Debby: Nope I'm being kind
Kay Faraday: are you
Sebby Debby: Voltron.
Kay Faraday: DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE
Miles Edgeworth: Good god what is happening in here
Franny: STEEL SAMURAI
Miles Edgeworth: I DIDNT FUCKING SAY ANYTHING???
Franny: Fool.
Miles Edgeworth: The Owl House
Franny: Steven Universe.
Miles Edgeworth: -^£(£&#*%**#*%*#
Kay Faraday: holy shit he started talking in ciphers
Miles Edgeworth: I let out such an awful screech that my husband tried to take my phone off me
Yuta: "We don't make fun of people's interests here" they say "we're really pleasant to be around" they say
Simon Blackquill: You were hyperfixated on Bluey last week and we held back every comment we could make
Yuta: Bluey is a work of art
Simon Blackquill: So is every vocaloid song
Simon Blackquill: Apart from It's Dark! By Ghost and Pals
Ema Skye: i would argue that- (gets shot)
Kay Faraday: kill yourself
Ema Skye: you don't want that who would make you dinner
Kay Faraday: i can make my own dinner
Sebby Debby: I disagree
Kay Faraday: shh
Miles Edgeworth: Didn’t you manage to set off the smoke alarm with pasta right before you moved out
Kay Faraday: shut the fuck up
Miles Edgeworth: Alright.
Athena Cykes: si can you go back to being hyperfixated on that sci-fi show from the 80s things were so peaceful
Simon Blackquill: What coz you didn't understand any of it
Athena Cykes: yeah
Athena Cykes: and you spent all your time watching it
Simon Blackquill: I needed to stop being hyperfixated on it coz I could recite the first episode by heart
Ema Skye: go on then
Ema Skye: ill help if it's the one i think it is
Simon Blackquill: ?!?!??!?!?@?! REAL??? NOONE EVER FUCKING KNOWS IT THE TUMBLR TGA GETS 4 POSTS A DAY
Ema Skye: WAIT SHIT IS IT THE SHOW IM THINKING OF
Kay Faraday: this is fascinating she's literally vibrating in her chair
Athena Cykes: so is he
Simon Blackquill: "To Gannymede and Titan, yes sir I've been around"
Ema Skye: AAADBRJRIIE74UW94&#&%*#<%>£
Ema Skye: lister have you ever been hit over the head with a welding mallet
Simon Blackquill: HOLY SHIT
Simon Blackquill: No? Stop that and push the trolley.
Ema Skye: yes sir rimmer!
Simon Blackquill: Right, corridor 159
Ema Skye: mmmemmemmmememem
Simon Blackquill: Lister shut up!
Ema Skye: im only humming
Simon Blackquill: We could actually go on all day
Ema Skye: ikr i don't wanna clog the
Ema Skye: the autism chat
Miles Edgeworth: Are you two quite finished being strange?
Ema Skye: yes now we are
Simon Blackquill: Wait a second
Ema Skye: WAIT A SECOND
Simon Blackquill: (Distant chanting) One of us, one of us.
Ema Skye: fuck it do i make a groupchat
Simon Blackquill: For just us three?
Ema Skye: im doing a rewatch with kay
Kay Faraday: OHHHHH YEAH WE ARE
Kay Faraday: sorry ems i was LOST
Yuta: Is this the Green Giant program
Ema Skye: …
Simon Blackquill: Yuta I am killing you
Yuta: Listen I know what it is at least it's the sun and moon couple one with human cat and the 2 instances of mpreg that you keep infodumping to me about I do listen when you talk
Simon Blackquill: Yuta I love you
Yuta: :)
Private chat between Thena and Si
Athena Cykes: hey si
Simon Blackquill: IVE NEVER SAID THAT EBOFRE
Athena Cykes: i thought you hadn't
Simon Blackquill: THEY DIDNT SAY IT BACK HAVE I FUCKED UP
Athena Cykes: nooooo maybe they're just genuinely shocked?
Simon Blackquill: ATHENA I DIDNT KNOW I LOVED THEM I JUST SAID IT
Athena Cykes: WDYM
Simon Blackquill: I DIDNT REALISE UNTIL I SAID IT BUT I DO I DO I REALLY REALLY DO
Athena Cykes: OH FUCK ME SIMON
Athena Cykes: WHY ARE YOU AN ACTUAL DISASTER
Simon Blackquill: HAVE YOU SAID IT TO JUNI YET???
Athena Cykes: YES IM A LESBIAN AND WE GOT TOGETHER BEFORE YOU
Simon Blackquill: Oh hang on they're messaging me
Athena Cykes: you got this!!!!
Private chat between Panda <3 and Yuty <3
Yuta: Panda?
Simon Blackquill: Yes?
Yuta: Did you mean that?
Yuta: You love me?
Simon Blackquill: Yes I do
Simon Blackquill: I didn't really realise it just sort of slipped out
Simon Blackquill: And yeah
Simon Blackquill: I love you
Yuta: Hold on let me cry a little real quick
Simon Blackquill: Lmao?
Yuta: I was a little taken aback I wasn't expecting that today or like… ever
Simon Blackquill: Ever?
Yuta: Oh you know
Yuta: It's hard sometimes, believing that love is a thing that I can have
Simon Blackquill: Yuty…
Yuta: Don't worry I'm working through it
Yuta: Anyway what I wanted to say is that I love you too
Yuta: I just sort of put a panic smiley but I love you too
Simon Blackquill: (Dies for real)
Yuta: LOL
Simon Blackquill: Yuty <3
Yuta: If it ever gets out that we call eachother these sickening pet names it's over for our reputation
Simon Blackquill: Oh I'm well aware.
Unnamed groupchat
Ema Skye added Simon Blackquill, Kay Faraday and Miles Edgeworth
Ema Skye: ok what's everyone's favourite quote i need to name the chat something funny
Simon Blackquill: "That's odd Lister according to this reading you're clinically dead"
Ema Skye: 💀💀💀
Ema Skye: confidence and paranoia?
Simon Blackquill: Nowhere near my favourite episode but I really like the way that line is delivered
Ema Skye: valid
Miles Edgeworth: "Who would put this man, this joke of a man, a man who couldn’t outwit a used tea bag, in a position of authority where he could wipe out an entire crew? Who? Only a yoghurt."
Simon Blackquill: OH JUSTICE INTERESTING TAKE
Miles Edgeworth: I like the shamble of a trial
Miles Edgeworth: Reminds me of my own sometimes
Ema Skye: checks out
Simon Blackquill: Ema?
Ema Skye: erm oh fuck i gotta think
Ema Skye: kay go
Kay Faraday: i can literally only remember the most recent episode we watched
Kay Faraday: uh
Kay Faraday: something like "let's go out there and twat it" that really got me
Kay Faraday: i don't think ive ever heard twat used as a verb before but hey i ain't british
Simon Blackquill: Can confirm it is not a verb
Ema Skye: ive figured it out
Ema Skye: "it hasn't happened, has it? It has "will have going to have happened" happened, but it hasn't actually "happened" happened yet, actually"
Simon Blackquill: That one is so much worse written down actually holy fuck
Ema Skye: fucking tell me about it i had to go look at the scripts for that
Simon Blackquill: Ahahaha
Miles Edgeworth: So which quote is the chosen one?
Ema Skye: this is the problem now
Groupchat: I am autism I am living in your children
Apollo Justice: Klav wants to know why you're "Dwarf posting" without him
Apollo Justice: God knows what that means.
Untitled Groupchat
Ema Skye: NO
Simon Blackquill: AHAHAHAHAHA
Ema Skye: WHY DOES HE KNOW IT
Ema Skye: THIS IS A MISERABLE DAY
Kay Faraday: you have to add him
Ema Skye added Klavier Gavin to the group
Ema Skye: i want you dead
Klavier Gavin: Warum so I can come back as a hologram
Ema Skye: shoot me in the head
Miles Edgeworth: This is very entertaining actually
Simon Blackquill: Klav what's your favourite quote we're trying to come up with a gc name
Klavier Gavin: Ach let me think
Klavier Gavin: "The sun can’t make moonlight without the moon, and the moon can’t make moonlight without the sun, so who’s making the moonlight? They both are."
Simon Blackquill: HOW COULD I FORGET ABOUT THE MOST HOMOSEXUAL LINE OF THE WHOLE 30 SOMETHING YEARS
Ema Skye: AAAAA THEYRE SO SILLY AND GOOFY I LOVE THEM
Kay Faraday: we havent got to that bit yet have we?
Ema Skye: nah not yet but i cannot wait until you do
Ema Skye changed the group name to "they both are ☀️🤍🌙"
Klavier Gavin: This is perfekt
Miles Edgeworth: Ok I'm genuinely curious to hear favourite episodes
Simon Blackquill: Tricky Edgeworth-dono
Klavier Gavin: Terrorform next question
Ema Skye: really???
Klavier Gavin: Ja it's a really interesting concept
Ema Skye: and chris barrie gets half naked.
Klavier Gavin: ……….. That too
Ema Skye: as a lesbian am i allowed to call you a f****t
Klavier Gavin: Ja you have my permission
Ema Skye: FAGGOT
Simon Blackquill: Stasis Leak
Simon Blackquill: "In 3 million years, you'll be dead. WILL I REALLY???"
Ema Skye: OH so valid i forgot how funny that one is
Miles Edgeworth: Mine is definitely Justice
Simon Blackquill: It's a good episode but why?
Miles Edgeworth: Trial, guilty only because you believe you're guilty and the fun of false accusations plus a very amusing ending to me.
Simon Blackquill: You know I rate that
Simon Blackquill: Ema?
Ema Skye: future echoes
Simon Blackquill: Oh you like the sciencey ones of course
Ema Skye: oh yeah.
Ema Skye: kay hasn't seen all of it and i predict dimension jump will be her fave but kay so far?
Kay Faraday: OH the one with the lesbians
Ema Skye: parallel universe?
Kay Faraday: with the dance opening?
Ema Skye: YES PARALLEL UNIVERSE
Miles Edgeworth: I think you all have very good taste
Klavier Gavin: Not a single one of us said anything from season 7 and 8
Simon Blackquill: FOR GOOD REASON
Simon Blackquill: Doug Naylor I am in your walls and ready to pounce the next time you try and write a real human woman
Ema Skye: AHAHAHAHAH
Kay Faraday: oh god is it that bad
Miles Edgeworth: "Happy Period"
Kay Faraday: NOOOOOOOO
Ema Skye: IKR
Kay Faraday: OOC NONE OF THE BOYS WOULD SAY THAT
Simon Blackquill: FUCKING TELL ME ABOUT IT
Klavier Gavin: How did you lot even get into it, this seems like a very eclectic bunch of people?
Simon Blackquill: My parents -> Aura -> Simon (But in a gay way)
Klavier Gavin: So valid
Miles Edgeworth: I saw old merch in a thrift shop and was like “that looks insane I will google it.”
Kay Faraday: ahahahah no i rate that
Ema Skye: i am a massive fucking sci-fi nerd so
Klavier Gavin: Checks out
Ema Skye: watch it
Kay Faraday: as you know ema is the reason i know anything
Miles Edgeworth: What about you?
Klavier Gavin: Oddly enough there were reruns on German TV when I was growing up
Klavier Gavin: All dubbed over but
Simon Blackquill: My god I could not imagine that
Klavier Gavin: I got jumpscared by the English ones
Simon Blackquill: Wdym
Klavier Gavin: I still expected Cat to be German
Simon Blackquill: WHAT WHY
Klavier Gavin: He reminded me of myself and I am German
Ema Skye: yeah i get that
Klavier Gavin: I
Klavier Gavin: I don’t know whether I should be upset about this or not
Ema Skye: cope
Groupchat: Yuta can you please just move out already
Apollo Justice: I’m going to kill one of you
Klavier Gavin: What’s the problem?
Apollo Justice: what the fuck.jpg
It’s a photo, grainy so it’s obviously poor lighting, of a single sock, red and obvious. Behind it, is a pile of, once white, now pink, dress shirts.
Apollo Justice: Who put a red sock in my whites wash.
Yuta: Ah
Apollo Justice: Who was it.
Yuta: Well Apollo the Holy Mother’s teachings emphasise the importance of forgiveness
Apollo Justice: You’re dead to me
Klavier Gavin: Ok ok, sure this can be solved
Apollo Justice: How.
Klavier Gavin: Bleach
Apollo Justice: Yuta you’re bleaching my shirts
Yuta: But I’m scared of bleach 🙁
Apollo Justice: Fucking cope I don’t care
Yuta: Help me Klavier
Klavier Gavin: You dyed his shirts I don’t know what to tell you
Yuta: You sadden me
Klavier Gavin: It saddens me that you still live here
Apollo Justice: HAHAHAHA
Yuta: Listen
Yuta: I don’t think Athena would appreciate me moving in with her and Simon
Apollo Justice: That is true
Klavier Gavin: Ja at least we can drown you out
Yuta: It’s a contest who is louder, Apollo or Simon.
Apollo Justice: What the fuck I’m not loud that’s Klav
Yuta: THAT’S KLAVIER??!?!??!
Klavier Gavin: Ahahah NEXT QUESTION
Yuta: HOLY MOTHER WHAT
Klavier Gavin: NEXT TOPIC PLEASE
Yuta: MY WORLD HAS BEEN TURNED UPSIDE DOWN
Apollo Justice: Really?
Yuta: Well, now that I think about it it makes sense I didn’t really connect the German
Klavier Gavin: Are you stupid
Yuta: Listen “Fick mich” sounds pretty close to “fuck me” said with gritted teeth
Klavier Gavin: ANYWAY
Apollo Justice: Yeah let’s move on actually.
Yuta: Can someone help me do the bleach
Klavier Gavin: No
Apollo Justice: No
Yuta: I’m reporting you both to HR
Groupchat: Floor 10?!
Athena Cykes: does anyone have spare keys to the building? I am stuck in the lobby lol
Toby Grimsby: Uhhhh, Att?
Atticus Frome: baby i lost those a long time ago
Ella Feckler: Lals will
Lally Callabichi: of course i do
Ollie Lone: are you even home?
Lally Callabichi: well no i am working late
Athena Cykes: awww lals i really need to get in
Lally Callabichi: simon?
Simon Blackquill: Also working late
Athena Cykes: fuck me
Toby Grimsby: Well if it helps, I can’t get into the building either
Athena Cykes: do you wanna have a lobby games night
Atticus Frome: oh hell yeah
Ella Feckler: I mean actually yeah why not
Athena Cykes: i have cards in my bag
Atticus Frome: i think i have an uno pack in mine
Ella Feckler: I have Dobble
Atticus Frome: …
Toby Grimsby: We don’t talk about Dobble in 1013
Athena Cykes: i see
Ollie Lone: are you actually
Ollie Lone: oh my god
Athena Cykes: join us
Ollie Lone: no i came to let you into the fucking building??
Athena Cykes: ok but come play a round of uno first
Ollie Lone: idk how to play uno
Ella Feckler: Everyone knows uno dipshit it came free with your fucking xbox
Ollie Lone: watch it bitch
Toby Grimsby: Uno isn’t hard don’t worry
Ollie Lone: sure why not
Ollie Lone: haven’t got anything better to do
Groupchat: Can we get anything Wright?
Pheonix Wright: Trucy come down
Trucy Wright: Uhh give me like 5 minutes
Pheonix Wright: …Why?
Trucy Wright: …I haven’t packed
Pheonix Wright: Trucy Mia Wright you’ve had 2 hours
Miles Edgeworth: Two and a half we got stuck in traffic
Trucy Wright: I got distracted
Trucy Wright: Cheer came over and were bullying the football guy
Trucy Wright: Dad they shaved his eyebrow
Pheonix Wright: I do not understand football guys actually
Trucy Wright: I feel like every time I get close the guy goes completely off the rocks
Trucy Wright: I thought he was in church last week I texted him like is this the new you, turns out he was in a bar
Pheonix Wright: What a fascinating individual
Miles Edgeworth: Do you want us to come up there and help you pack?
Trucy Wright: Yes please
Groupchat: The Gavinners: ACAB edition
Pic Colo: ok so idea
Claire Inett: please don’t let her finish
Vivian Fastise: No no, you three haven’t produced new music 🎵 in 3 weeks keep talking 🎉
Pic Colo: oh lol it’s not about music
Vivian Fastise: 🤨
Claire Inett: god help me
Pic Colo: i think we should make a group tiktok
Klavier Gavin: I already have a tiktok?
Vivian Fastise: You already have a GROUP tiktok 🕜
Pic Colo: yeah but it has d-
Pic Colo: 🤮
Pic Colo: daryan
Pic Colo: on it
Claire Inett: she wants to do funnies
Pic Colo: you know, just a more human side
Vivian Fastise: Good idea Pic 👍
Vivian Fastise: Speaking on that note, Klavier, when are you coming out?
Klavier Gavin: ENTSCHULDIGUNG???
Vivian Fastise: Klavier 🎹 when are you 🕺 coming out 🏳️🌈
Klavier Gavin: I
Klavier Gavin: I am already out?
Vivian Fastise: They think you’re queerbaiting 👬 ❌
Klavier Gavin: Real people
Klavier Gavin: Cannot
Klavier Gavin: Queerbait??????
Claire Inett: yeah but since when have the fans had normal opinions on twitter
Pic Colo: come now some of them are cool
Claire Inett: not when they’re accusing klav of queerbaiting
Klavier Gavin: I don’t understand?
Vic: They think you dropping some songs 🎵 with he/him pronouns in ♂️ is a move to get the gays 🏳️🌈 on board
Klavier Gavin: It isn’t
Pic Colo: why
Klavier Gavin: Because I like men
Klavier Gavin: What the fuck do you want from me
Claire Inett: if klav needs to publicly come out, can me and pic finally come out too
Pic Colo: i want to kiss her in photoshoots :)
Vivian Fastise: Hmm
Vivian Fastise: Will we lose our straight male 👩❤️👨 audience?
Klavier Gavin: Ah yes the ever important 0.4%
Pic Colo: no
Vivian Fastise: Explain ❓
Claire Inett: lesbians are really hot to disgusting men
Vivian Fastise: Ah. A group coming out should be wonderful then ✔️
Klavier Gavin: Ugh
Klavier Gavin: This is just
Klavier Gavin: Miserable
Pic Colo: tell me about it man
Klavier Gavin: If I could time travel back to when this band never existed I would
Klavier Gavin: Can we just be fucking about in high school again I don’t want fame I changed my mind
Vivian Fastise: No because if you drop off the face of the Earth 🌎 people will think you died 💀
Klavier Gavin: Viv honestly
Klavier Gavin: At this point
Klavier Gavin: We’re not touring, we’re not really writing new music, idk about the girls but I just wanna settle down
Klavier Gavin: I’m not young anymore
Vivian Fastise: You’re 28 👶
Klavier Gavin: Well yes but we’ve been in the public eye since we were 17
Klavier Gavin: Viv I want to get married
Klavier Gavin: I don’t want to worry about teenage girls who desperately want to know if Klavier Gavin will ever sweep them off their feet
Klavier Gavin: I’m tired of it
Claire Inett: holy shit he just said what we’re all thinking
Pic Colo: thank fuck i’ve been so scared to say it
Claire Inett: listen when your back starts to give out from living in a tour bus, you know it’s time to step back
Klavier Gavin: Ja, we don’t have to stop
Pic Colo: good coz i cannot imagine a world where i stop playing the drums sorry
Klavier Gavin: Haha yeah
Klavier Gavin: But like, we’re rockstars, but Pic you’re also a Judge, Claire an attorney, I think it’s time to focus on the other side of the river
Claire Inett: viv?
Vivian Fastise: OK
Vivian Fastise: I am no longer talking as your manager 🌚
Pic Colo: what’s with the moon
Claire Inett: shh
Vivian Fastise: It has been a long hard journey, especially these last few years, after Daryan 🦈 and that whole thing 👮
Vivian Fastise: You have survived it well, the industry is not kind, especially when you have had to hide so much
Vivian Fastise: It is tiring, it is exhausting, why do you think I manage now instead of sing?
Vivian Fastise: You have every right to give it up
Vivian Fastise: You have every right to slow down
Vivian Fastise: As your manager 📜 I don’t want you to, because then I don’t get paid 💰
Vivian Fastise: As your friend and someone who has known you eleven years, you can stop now
Vivian Fastise: And I want an invite to your weddings 👰
Claire Inett: awww wait vivi that was actually cute
Pic Colo: thanks girl
Klavier Gavin: I might pull a that one member of one direction and literally never make anything again
Vivian Fastise: Valid tbh
Klavier Gavin: Nein
Klavier Gavin: What if we did an acoustic album to sort of say goodbye (for now or forever depending on our feelings)
Pic Colo: i can get behind this, soft drum solos
Claire Inett: oh my god i can get the baby grand out!!!!
Klavier Gavin: Ja! I can get my acoustic guitar out and we write some sappy songs!
Vivian Fastise: My hands 🖐️ are off here guys, do what you need to do 🎵
Klavier Gavin: I AM GOING TO WRITE A LOVE SONG THAT IS SO SENTIMENTAL
Pic Colo: OMG CAN WE ALL DO ONE
Claire Inett: YESSSSSS
Vivian Fastise: And that is that 👏
Pic Colo: guys im ngl
Pic Colo: i think we just got blackmailed into making more music
Vivian Fastise: Whatever do you mean? 😇
Claire Inett: ah yes the four members of the gavinners
Claire Inett: the prosecution, the defence, the judge and THE CRIMINAL
Vivian Fastise: Think 🤔 what you will
Private chat: Apollo Justice and Klavier Gavin
Klavier Gavin: Apollo
Apollo Justice: Dude I’m sat right next to you
Klavier Gavin: I don’t want Yuta to hear this conversation
Apollo Justice: Wow ok
Klavier Gavin: It’s just private
Apollo Justice: Klav, you’re procrastinating
Klavier Gavin: Ja I know I am
Klavier Gavin: Um Apollo, we have been dating for almost two years now
Apollo Justice: We have
Klavier Gavin: I feel like it’s time now for us to discuss this
Apollo Justice: Discuss what
Klavier Gavin: Apollo Jove Justice, how do you feel about marrying me?
Apollo Justice: JKSJKKKK£$%^&^%^&*???????
Klavier Gavin: Entschuldigung?
Klavier Gavin: Are you laughing at me?
Klavier Gavin: Why have you gone that colour? Are you ok??
Apollo Justice: KLAVIER
Apollo Justice: KLAVIER HYACINTHUS GAVIN
Klavier Gavin: JA??
Apollo Justice: I THOUGHT YOU WERE BREAKING UP WITH ME
Klavier Gavin: NEIN NEVER
Apollo Justice: HOLY SHIT
Klavier Gavin: I WANT TO BE WITH YOU FOREVER I WOULD NEVER
Apollo Justice: OK OK
Apollo Justice: How I feel about marriage is very positive actually
Klavier Gavin: ??!?!
Apollo Justice: I would actually love to marry you
Apollo Justice: I cannot believe we are having this discussion over text what the fuck
Klavier Gavin: It’s only really fitting since it's how we got together 😭
Klavier Gavin: I should probably get a ring then
Apollo Justice: LMAO
Apollo Justice: UM WE COULD UH
Apollo Justice: USE THE ONE I BOUGHT
Klavier Gavin: WHAT
Apollo Justice: YOU BEAT ME TO IT
Klavier Gavin: HAHAHAHAHA
Klavier Gavin: Mein gott this is appalling
Apollo Justice: YEAH
Apollo Justice: Man, Yuta doesn’t have a fucking clue
Klavier Gavin: JA THEY DON’T
Groupchat: Operation Creeper 2: Notice his flirting already Apollo (ACHIEVED!!)
Apollo Justice: Hey guys
Trucy Wright: Hello?
Trucy Wright: Weird fucking chat Pollo
Apollo Justice: Yeah uh Klav and I figured this was the best way to tell you guys
Pearl Fey: Please don’t tell your breaking up!!!!
Apollo Justice: Hah nah, calm down
Yuta: It’s worse
Apollo Justice: Shut the fuck up
Simon Blackquill: Be nice
Apollo Justice: No they’re my brother I can bully them I’m legally allowed
Rayfa: As am I
Yuta: Go to bed
Rayfa: Eat shit and die
Yuta: You got mean since you turned 16
Rayfa: Yeah lol sorry I became Queen
Yuta: I hate that actually
Rayfa: Hmm careful I could have you executed for that
Apollo Justice: Can you guys stop bickering I actually do have something to say for once
Dick Gumshoe: Go ahead pal!
Maggey Gumshoe: Yeah don’t let their tomfuckery interrupt you
Athena Cykes: we’re all actually really curious now
Pheonix Wright: Yeah we really are
Sebby Debby: Edgeworth?
Pheonix Wright: Driving
Franny: Bitte, go ahead
Maya Fey:he has been typing for like
Maya Fey:years actually
Juniper Woods: I’m scared
Apollo Justice: Sorry I was trying to write and then I got pounced
Apollo Justice: Um yeah Klav and I are getting married
Trucy Wright: OMGGGG CONGRATS!!!!
Pearl Fey :00000!!!!! IM SO PRUOD
Maya Fey:aww fucking finally man we’ve all been waiting for it
Yuta: Ok so now I really have to move out
Yuta: Simon?
Athena Cykes: no pls
Simon Blackquill: Yeah ok
Athena Cykes: killing myself
Athena Cykes: HAPPY FOR YOU THO POLLO
Juniper Woods: Yes! A pleasant surprise for this evening!
Pheonix Wright: I’m really proud of you guys!!
Simon Blackquill: Who proposed?
Apollo Justice: I mean technically he did but he didn’t have a ring but I did so technically we both did?
Dick Gumshoe: That’s so cute!
Maggey Gumshoe: Adorable!
Franny: Foolish, it fits
Klavier Gavin: This is true to be fair
Apollo Justice: Shit wrong phone
Apollo Justice: Sorry
Ema Skye: HOLY SHIT IM SO LATE CONGRATS FOP
Kay Faraday: AAAAAAAAAA
Klavier Gavin: Danke girls <3
Ema Skye: I still hate you
Klavier Gavin: I know :)
Trucy Wright: Ok so lets review
Apollo Justice: Oh Holy Mother here we go
Trucy Wright: Dad and Miles, Operation Creeper 1: Married ☑️
Trucy Wright: Klav and Pollo, Operation Creeper 2: Engaged ☑️
Trucy Wright: Juni and Thena, Operation Creeper 3: …?
Athena Cykes: not engaged
Juniper Woods: Yet ;)
Athena Cykes: :0
Trucy Wright: Teehee
Trucy Wright: Ema and Kay, Simon and yuta, Operation Creeper 4: ?
Yuta: Moving in with him!
Kay Faraday: moved in with her :)
Sebby Debby: Thank fuck
Athena Cykes: yuta please
Yuta: :) What’s the problem
Simon Blackquill: Yeah Thena what’s the issue
Athena Cykes: killing you with my mind
Ema Skye: ah well, everyone on my floor loves kay so
Kay Faraday: oh yeah that’s coz im just actually so cool
Trucy Wright: Mmhmm
Trucy Wright: And then me and Pearly are like 19 so
Pheonix Wright: Please dear god I don’t think I could cope with a Fey calling me her father in law
Maya Fey:i could call you my brother in law, do you want that
Pheonix Wright: NO
Pheonix Wright: PLEASE
Maya Fey:oh but you are dear feenie
Pheonix Wright: Never call me that actually
Maya Fey:why is something wrong feenie
Pheonix Wright: Yeah that’s actually unsettling
Maya Fey:lol really?
Pheonix Wright: Yes.
Pheonix Wright: Deeply
Maya Fey:lmao kk
Athena Cykes: sometimes i really wish i could hear emotions over text
Pheonix Wright: Top ten Maya Fey Dahlia moments
Maya Fey:OH MY GOD I FORGOT THAT’S WHAT SHE CALLED YOU
Maya Fey:OK NICK GENUINELY SORRY
Pheonix Wright: WAIT WHAT I THOUGHT YOU WERE DOING THAT DELIBERATELY
Maya Fey: NO NEVER
Trucy Wright: Good job guys hit the showers
Pheonix Wright: Truce do you wanna stop for McDonalds or wait till we get home?
Trucy Wright: Do they have mozzarella sticks in atm
Pheonix Wright: Yes
Trucy Wright: McDonalds please :)
Pheonix Wright: I should have guessed
Chapter 2: Dead People
Notes:
sorry this took so long, i had this ready 4 months ago and never actually posted it??
so here it is, at 3 am, from my uni flat, as i have a mild mental breakdown
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Groupchat: Shh the adults are talking
Phoenix Wright: Guys
Maya Fey: rare chat
Franny: Why do we have so many groupchats
Diego Armando: Tell me about it I am always so confused
Phoenix Wright: Guys I had something to say
Maya Fey: sorry nick
Phoenix Wright: I've just found out something so fucking funny
Franny: Elaborate
Phoenix Wright: Trucy has a law school rival
Maya Fey: REALLY
Phoenix Wright: You know what makes it funnier?
Phoenix Wright: The way she described it was "its as if Vivian from Legally Blonde had a child with Winston Payne EXCEPT SHES ACTUALLY SMART >:("
Diego Armando: I have so many questions
Miles Edgeworth: She also lives on the same floor
Maya Fey: AHAHAHA UH OH
Franny: You are way too delighted about this
Maya Fey: it's so funny fran
Maya Fey: it's a right of passage
Phoenix Wright: Baby's first courtroom rival <3
Diego Armando: The first of many
Phoenix Wright: What do you mean by that
Diego Armando: She is your daughter
Phoenix Wright: And
Diego Armando: You have a new rival every case
Phoenix Wright: Everyone knows who my number one is <3
Miles Edgeworth: I'm not sure it really counts now that we're married
Phoenix Wright: No it still counts
Franny: Genuinely how the fuck are you two still allowed to be on the same case
Miles Edgeworth: Elaborate
Franny: It's a conflict of interest
Franny: I'm not allowed to prosecute anything Maya is accused of what's the difference there whose dick are you sucking
Miles Edgeworth: Well the difference is
Miles Edgeworth: I'm the chief prosecutor
Miles Edgeworth: And you are not <3
Franny: Exploding you with my mind
Maya Fey: we are really not living up to the name of this gc
Dick Gumshoe: It's also fine because Mr Edgeworth and Mr Wright have already proven that their relationship disappears inside the courtroom
Phoenix Wright: Oh yeah from the moment we kiss goodbye in the morning we have no association with each other
Maggey Gumshoe: Also I think the Judge may have a heart attack if you two go against anyone else now
Phoenix Wright: HAHAHA
Miles Edgeworth: Can his daughter put him in a home already
Maya Fey: WOAH
Miles Edgeworth: Listen I can cope with some forms filled out wrong but everything I give to him I get back INCORRECT
Miles Edgeworth: We have Miss Woods and Miss Colo now but its still deplorable
Phoenix Wright: Easy on him Miles, he's got a couple of years in him yet
Miles Edgeworth: Just because he always lets you win
Diego Armando: Calm down ladies
Maya Fey: OH i had something to talk about too
Phoenix Wright: Oh yeah?
Maya Fey: well two things
Maya Fey: 1) larry has a gf now do we add him to the adults gc 2) can one of you guys help me and fran plan our wedding
Phoenix Wright: Larry has a girlfriend?????
Maya Fey: yeah he and iris gave it another shot
Diego Armando: My God.
Diego Armando: I'm not a massive fan of her but she still deserves better
Phoenix Wright: I AM HAVING A WORD WITH HIM
Maya Fey: yeah ok but can you help with my wedding
Miles Edgeworth: He didn't plan any of ours, I'll do what I can
Miles Edgeworth: Fran you literally planned my wedding too what is happening?
Franny: We are balancing less budget and making the elders happy and we're both at our wits end
Dick Gumshoe: Have you considered eloping pals?
Maggey Gumshoe: Yeah that's what we did!
Maya Fey: i mean
Maya Fey: don't people only elope when everyone is unsure of the marriage?
Maggey Gumshoe: No! We eloped coz we didn't have the money for a full ceremony
Dick Gumshoe: And Mags' dad hadn't come around to me yet
Maya Fey: why you're literally so lovely!
Dick Gumshoe: I'm not Catholic or Irish for one
Maggey Gumshoe: That wasn't the main problem
Maggey Gumshoe: He's very overprotective since mum died and he knows my luck
Dick Gumshoe: That's true
Dick Gumshoe: He's a great guy deep down, just worried
Dick Gumshoe: Since having children I do understand that
Maya Fey: hidden gumshoe lore
Maggey Gumshoe: Wait until you learn how many times he's been shot
Miles Edgeworth: Ah yes.
Miles Edgeworth: So many times I have yelled at you to be careful in a hospital room
Maggey Gumshoe: Tell me about it
Maya Fey: how many-
Maya Fey: how many times
Dick Gumshoe: 7
Maya Fey: HOW THE FUCK ARE YOU ALIVE
Maya Fey: MAGGEY HOW THE FUCK ARE YOU ALIVE
Maggey Gumshoe: Well on one side, we wouldn't have gotten together if he hadn't taken bullet number 5, on the other, I am worried for his life every time he comes home late
Maggey Gumshoe: Lesson learnt, don't marry a cop
Dick Gumshoe: I haven't gotten shot in a while though!
Maggey Gumshoe: And 6 and 7 weren't your fault I'll give you that
Maya Fey: wow
Maya Fey: im not quite sure how to react to this gummy im ngl
Dick Gumshoe: Don't worry I'm OK
Maggey Gumshoe: He has deep-rooted saviour trauma
Dick Gumshoe: Shh
Dick Gumshoe: I just care about the people around me
Edgeworth: Hmm
Edgeworth: Would you like to be booked into the department therapist
Dick Gumshoe: I'm good sir!
Maggey Gumshoe: Can you just override him today
Edgeworth: I can indeed because I know he needs it
Maya Fey: gummy :(
Dick Gumshoe: It's just childhood trauma, everyone has that
Franny: Here? Yes.
Franny: Everyone else? No.
Maggey Gumshoe: You were also 21
Dick Gumshoe: Yeah I know
Maya Fey: like don't feel like you need to tell me but what happened :(
Dick Gumshoe: I lost my brother
Dick Gumshoe: That's all I really wanna say
Maya Fey: ohhh gummy that's horrible
Dick Gumshoe: It was awful but without it I wouldn't have become a police officer
Maggey Gumshoe: Yeah you would have been a physicist
Dick Gumshoe: Not sure how that would have ended up
Franny: You would have been paid more
Dick Gumshoe: TRUE
Private chat between Phoenix Wright and Larry Butz
Phoenix Wright: LAROLD BUTZUS
Larry Butz: AH
Larry Butz: Hello???!?!?!
Phoenix Wright: Maya just told me you're dating Iris???
Larry Butz: Whuh
Larry Butz: Oh yeah!!
Phoenix Wright: Since when??
Phoenix Wright: Dude I literally haven't heard from you in forever I can't believe you didn't tell me this
Larry Butz: I mean I was kinda worried about it tbh
Phoenix Wright: Wdym?
Larry Butz: You guys were a thing right?
Phoenix Wright: That was her sister Larry
Larry Butz: Oh
Phoenix Wright: And she tried to kill me
Larry Butz: Oh yeah
Phoenix Wright: I'm happy for you man!!!
Larry Butz: Aww thanks
Phoenix Wright: Do you reckon this is finally it
Larry Butz: I dunno
Larry Butz: At the back of my mind I'm still Larry-not-the-kinda-guy-you'd-marry
Phoenix Wright: Aww mate you gotta try and unlearn that
Phoenix Wright: Cindy really messed you up
Larry Butz: Yeah I know
Larry Butz: I'm working through it and Iris is so lovely about it all
Phoenix Wright: See now that's great
Phoenix Wright: I think she'll be good for you man
Larry Butz: AWW NICKYYYY
Phoenix Wright: There's my Larry
Larry Butz: I'm sorry I haven't been messaging a lot lately, it's been a really weird time
Phoenix Wright: How so?
Larry Butz: I picked up this massive order
Larry Butz: I'm illustrating a whole series of these kids books
Larry Butz: I'm so swamped man
Phoenix Wright: Dude that's sick though!!!
Phoenix Wright: You better show me when you're done!
Larry Butz: Oh first to know man 😎👉👉
Phoenix Wright: Haha!
Phoenix Wright: Also come visit soon
Larry Butz: Oh I'll come crash on your couch soon
Phoenix Wright: Hell yeah
Phoenix Wright: OH
Phoenix Wright: Do you wanna be added to the adults groupchat
Larry Butz: HAH nah
Phoenix Wright: Nah??
Larry Butz: I'm not ready to grow up yet
Phoenix Wright: You know what
Phoenix Wright: Fair enough
Groupchat: Shh the adults are talking
Phoenix Wright: Larry says he’s not ready to grow up yet so he’s not joining the chat
Maya Fey: good for him he knows his limits
Maya Fey: some days i wish i wasn’t on this groupchat
Miles Edgeworth: I mean you kind of have to be
Maya Fey: well yeah coz of pearly
Franny: This is genuinely a glorified PTA chat
Hershel Layton: My God I really need to turn off notifications
Miles Edgeworth: Good morning Hershel
Hershel Layton: It is 3AM that is still NIGHT
Miles Edgeworth: Ah
Miles Edgeworth: Our apologies
Phoenix Wright: WAIT don’t disappear yet
Hershel Layton: What’s wrong
Phoenix Wright: My daughter is worried about your daughter
Hershel Layton: Which one
Phoenix Wright: Katri
Hershel Layton: If that’s to do with the bullying issue we’re dealing with it
Hershel Layton: I’m dealing with it
Hershel Layton: I’m a single father
Miles Edgeworth: You wouldn’t be if you removed your head from your ass
Maya Fey: WOAH
Franny: Miles woke up and chose violence
Miles Edgeworth: Today yes.
Hershel Layton: I am genuinely speechless how could you do this to me
Phoenix Wright: It’s funny
Hershel Layton: Can I go back to sleep yet?
Phoenix Wright: How exactly are you dealing with it?
Hershel Layton: Supporting her, chasing an autism diagnosis, actually fighting the school to give consequences, I'm doing all I can
Phoenix Wright: Good good
Miles Edgeworth: Also while we're on the topic of PTA things
Franny renamed the groupchat to "the parent-teacher association"
Miles Edgeworth: Funny
Franny: Funnier than you
Miles You're just not though are you
Franny: Excuse me
Miles Edgeworth: You're excused
Miles Edgeworth: Right Maya I was speaking to Trucy and she says you need to talk to Pearl about something spirit channelling related
Maya Fey: oh really?
Miles Edgeworth: Yes
Miles Edgeworth: She hasn't said why
Maya Fey: hmm interesting
Maya Fey: she's in her room ill text her
Phoenix Wright: Any other parental concerns?
Dick Gumshoe: Should my 3 year old boys be pretending to be dogs so far as to tying rope to their collars and leading each other around the house?
Maya Fey: not sure
Franny: None of us have had ones as young as yours
Phoenix Wright: @Hershel
Hershel Layton: I feel like that's fairly developmentally normal
Maggey Gumshoe: Good to hear
Private chat between Maya Fey and Pearl Fey:
Maya Fey: hey pearly
Pearl Fey: Hello?
Pearl Fey: Im in my room do you want me to come thru
Maya Fey: nah i don't wanna move
Pearl Fey: Pfft right
Maya Fey: truce said you had to talk about something with me?
Maya Fey: well more accurately, edgeworth said that truce said that you needed to talk to me
Pearl Fey: Oh yeah
Pearl Fey: It's channelling related
Maya Fey: i mean i can try and answer it but we're at a similar level of trained so idk
Pearl Fey: I'm seeing spirits even when I'm not channelling
Pearl Fey: And I can't tell if they're living or dead
Pearl Fey: And its starting to affect my life
Maya Fey: ah i see
Pearl Fey: Like today I was at WAA and I went upstairs to talk to the ladies about our music and stuff
Pearl Fey: Turns out the girl that's been telling us to turn it down is actually dead
Pearl Fey: And I've literally been passing on messages from a dead woman
Maya Fey: oh fuck it's that bad
Pearl Fey: Yeah
Maya Fey: ok so
Maya Fey: its not something i can immediately tell you an answer to
Maya Fey: but ill have a look in the books
Pearl Fey: Thanks Maya <3
Maya Fey: any time
Maya Fey: also if you need to check when we’re together just text me, mmk?
Pearl Fey: Mmk :)
Maya Fey: now go to bed
Pearl Fey: Ugh.
Pearl Fey: Okaaaaay
Groupchat: why am I the only one popping their pussy right now -mia fey, posthumously
Apollo Justice: I am gonna kill someone
Phoenix Wright: Ok?
Maya Fey: what’s the problem little man
Athena Cykes: we ordered take out
Athena Cykes: and the just eat guy fucked up our order
Apollo Justice: I didn’t order BURGERS I ordered RAMEN
Maya Fey: fuck the ramen you have burgers?!?!?!?!
Phoenix Wright: Eat your hamburgers Apollo.
Apollo Justice: Why do I feel like you’ve said that to me before
Phoenix Wright: Maybe I have
Phoenix Wright: Maybe the unknowable forces in this world have compelled me to subconsciously replace ramen with burgers…
Apollo Justice: You’re making my head hurt
Phoenix Wright: Good
Athena Cykes: what are we doing with the ramen
Athena Cykes: or the burgers
Athena Cykes: whatever
Apollo Justice: Well
Apollo Justice: I can post it to the building’s groupchat
Apollo Justice: They probably were ordered by someone else
Phoenix Wright: Eugh
Phoenix Wright: The building groupchat scares me
Apollo Justice: Same but
Apollo Justice: Needs must
Groupchat: Unity tower: Wright Anything Agency, Gildritch Family Law, Toussan and Co
Apollo Justice: Hi, I’m from the WAA, has anyone ordered burgers to the building from “Whodies”, I think we may have got our orders mixed up?
Diana Gildritch: Oh my God I’m so sorry, that was my daughter! I think we must have your noodles!
Apollo Justice: Ha, it’s no problem, are you floor 3?
Diana: Yes!
Groupchat: why am I the only one popping their pussy right now -mia fey, posthumously
Athena Cykes: nodle
Athena Cykes: mmm nodke
Apollo Justice: Can you spell nodle wrong one more time for me
Athena Cykes: take the l.jpg
It’s Apollo’s last message, “nodle” is underlined.
Apollo Justice: FUCK
Apollo Justice: NOODLE
Apollo Justice: I MEANT NOODLE
Phoenix Wright: LOL
Pearl Fey: On a scale of 1-10, how awkward do you think it would be if I told Mrs Gildritch that her sister wants her to talk to their mom again
Apollo Justice: 10?
Maya Fey: mmmm
Maya Fey: not this time pearl
Trucy Wright: Guys life is meaningless
Apollo Justice: You fucking what
Phoenix Wright: Hello??
Phoenix Wright: Darling daughter??
Trucy Wright: I got my assignment back
Apollo Justice: Ah.
Trucy Wright: 42%
Phoenix Wright: Yikes
Phoenix Wright: How much to pass?
Trucy Wright: 40%
Trucy Wright: So like I passed but I’m miserable
Phoenix Wright: Aww kiddo
Trucy Wright: It’s ok tho coz I get to come intern at waa now
Maya Fey: waluigi
Trucy Wright: So true!
Apollo Justice: You are gonna be a nightmare of an intern I hope you know that
Trucy Wright: Wdym Apollo I was your favourite sidekick
Athena Cykes: excuse me
Apollo Justice: I don’t play favourites
Phoenix Wright: I do
Apollo Justice: What
Phoenix Wright: She’s my favourite kid
Apollo Justice: Ok?
Apollo Justice: I’m literally not even your kid
Phoenix Wright: 🙁
Apollo Justice: WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME
Phoenix Wright: You are my kid, don’t pretend you’re not
Apollo Justice: …Ok
Trucy Wright: One day he’ll call you dad completely sincerely and not by accident and you’ll cry
Phoenix Wright: Oh yeah
Apollo Justice: Right
Trucy Wright: So anyway can I come start midway through the day
Phoenix Wright: Hmm
Phoenix Wright: I did try and wake you, professional lawyers have to get up before 12
Trucy Wright: Yeah but
Trucy Wright: Sleep
Phoenix Wright: An excellent point
Phoenix Wright: You however do not need that sleep
Trucy Wright: Eugh!
Phoenix Wright: Oh no it appears my comment has offended
Phoenix Wright: Hard to argue though when you're too mad to speak
Trucy Wright: YOUR EMPLOYMENT WILL BE VERY QUICKLY ENDED
Trucy Wright: WHEN THEY SEE HOW YOUR EMOTIONS MAKE TOU WEAK
Phoenix Wright: Please don't internalise those legally blonde lyrics I just couldn't resist
Apollo Justice: You are like the world's worst mentor I hope you know that
Phoenix Wright: I mentored you didn't I
Apollo Justice: Kristoph taught me all the actual law
Phoenix Wright: And then he killed a guy
Phoenix Wright: So really, who do you trust
Apollo Justice: Ugh I actually have work to do
Trucy Wright: Open the door
Athena Cykes: oh hey trucy
Pearl Fey: FUFYC
Pearl Fey: TSHUY
Pearl Fey: YRCUY
Pearl Fey: TRJCY
Pearl Fey: FUCK IT CLOSE ENOUGH
Trucy Wright: I WAS WONDERING WHAT YOU WERE TRYIGN TO SP
Apollo Justice: For the benefit of the court I would like to state that Trucy Wright has just gotten tackled by Pearl Fey: who hasn't seen the aforementioned Trucy since
Apollo Justice: (Checks smudged writing on wrist)
Apollo Justice: March
Pearl Fey: AND THAT WAS A WHILE AGO
Athena Cykes: waht month is it
Apollo Justice: June
Maya Fey: happy pride
Phoenix Wright: OH MY GOD I FORGOT TO GET THE FLAG OUT
Maya Fey: ah yes the office heirloom bi pride flag
Maya Fey: everyone say thank you mia
Trucy Wright: Thank you Mia
Phoenix Wright: WHERE IS THE FUCKING BLU TACK
Phoenix Wright: I NEED IT
Apollo Justice: It's in my drawer
Phoenix Wright: WHY
Athena Cykes: he had to take it away from me it took all my concentration i was trying to actually work
Maya Fey: audhd looking ass
Athena Cykes: yeaaah
Trucy Wright: Why is Apollo like the only adult here
Phoenix Wright: Hey!
Trucy Wright: ….
Trucy Wright: Dad do you remember the oven incident
Phoenix Wright: ….
Phoenix Wright: Whatever do you mean dear daughter that I have raised and cared for and don't make pay rent
Apollo Justice: What's the oven incident
Trucy Wright: The day Dad brought me home, he was making pizza for our dinner
Trucy Wright: FROZEN pizza
Trucy Wright: Puts it on a tray, puts the tray in the oven, promptly forgets about it
Trucy Wright: I'm 8 but Zak was already not winning father of the year
Trucy Wright: And, unlike Dad, I know what pizza smells like when it's burning
Trucy Wright: So of course I tell him
Maya Fey: IS THIS WHEN YOU CALLED ME IN TEARS LIKE "MAYA IVE ALREADY FUCKED UP BEING A PARENT I SET THE HOUSE ON FIRE"
Phoenix Wright: I mean
Phoenix Wright: Maybe
Trucy Wright: YOU CRIED ABOUT IT??
Phoenix Wright: YEAH?
Phoenix Wright: It was my first day being a parent I was already emotional as hell
Phoenix Wright: Burning the pizza was the last nail in the coffin
Trucy Wright: Burning the pizza
Trucy Wright: Setting off the fire alarm
Trucy Wright: Causing the entire building of 80 or so people to evacuate
Phoenix Wright: Yeah ok
Apollo Justice: Holy mother
Phoenix Wright: Listen cooking was not my strong point
Maya Fey: still isn't
Phoenix Wright: OK
Pearl Fey: Why are we not having this conversashon out loud
Athena Cykes: good question
Phoenix Wright: So Athena doesn't get deafened by the anguish in my voice
Athena Cykes: how kind
Apollo Justice: I'm still nowhere close to being an adult
Maya Fey: apollo how do you feel about taxes
Athena Cykes: apollo what about your mortgage
Pearl Fey: Apollo have you started planning your wedding
Phoenix Wright: Apollo how do you feel about the prospect of promotion
Trucy Wright: Apollo do you want children
Apollo Justice: You all are making me miserable
Maya Fey: answer the questions pollo
Apollo Justice: Um
Apollo Justice: Taxes are stupid I don't understand them
Maya Fey: yeah relatable
Apollo Justice: I don't have a mortgage, I rent and Klav and I split it fifty-fifty (Yuta pays the months rent if they stay with me)
Athena Cykes: good they are literally royalty
Apollo Justice: I haven't started planning my wedding, Klav proposed 2 days ago
Pearl Fey: You should always start planning in advance, did you not dream of this day?!
Apollo Justice: Not my top priority growing up Pearls
Pearl Fey: :(
Apollo Justice: Uh what was the next one
Apollo Justice: Mr Wright I am begging you not to promote me I don't wanna be partner
Phoenix Wright: Aww
Apollo Justice: Mainly coz I don't wanna repaint the sign
Phoenix Wright: Ok now that's kinda valid
Phoenix Wright: No-one wants to be on paint duty
Maya Fey: pd
Apollo Justice: As for the last one, no comment
Trucy Wright: What could this mean
Apollo Justice: I don't wanna discuss it
Apollo Justice: Me and KLAV haven't even discussed it
Athena Cykes: do you want kids pollo
Apollo Justice: I dunno
Apollo Justice: Maybe?
Apollo Justice: I feel like I wouldn't be that great of a dad, don't have much to base it off
Trucy Wright: Aww Pollo
Trucy Wright: You've babysitted me enough, I think you'd be alright
Athena Cykes: klavs good with kids too
Maya Fey: is he?
Athena Cykes: yeah he babysits for the gumshoes
Athena Cykes: right?
Apollo Justice: Yeah
Apollo Justice: He does
Trucy Wright: Look up from your phone
Apollo Justice: Stop wiggling your eyebrows at me
Trucy Wright: Stop looking so red
Apollo Justice: Get lost
Trucy Wright: Make me an Aunt!!!
Athena Cykes: guys mr wright looks emotional
Phoenix Wright: THEY GROW UP SO FAST
Private chat between Ray Shields and Miles Edgeworth
Miles Edgeworth: Question
Raymond Shields: Oh no
Miles Edgeworth: Do you have the property history of the ELO?
Raymond Shields: You what
Miles Edgeworth: Like what the building was called prior
Raymond Shields: I can have a look
Raymond Shields: Why?
Miles Edgeworth: Try as I might, I cannot find my mother's maiden name
Raymond Shields: I thought it was Phoenix that was looking for lost relatives?
Miles Edgeworth: He's got me on mine, remember?
Raymond Shields: Ohhh yeah
Miles Edgeworth: He wants to find his dad and I want to find if I have a single family member left alive
Raymond Shields: Ah I see
Raymond Shields: I mean I wish I could tell you but your Mom died before I met Greg so
Miles Edgeworth: Hmm
Miles Edgeworth: Do you know how she died?
Miles Edgeworth: If it was murder, there might be a record of her
Raymond Shields: I don't think it was murder
Raymond Shields: Oh it genuinely may be worth checking court records I feel like she may have been a lawyer?
Miles Edgeworth: Really?
Raymond Shields: I mean I don't know shit, like your dad did NOT like talking about her
Miles Edgeworth: At all?
Raymond Shields: Nope
Raymond Shields: Literally only found out her name was Sophia from your research
Miles Edgeworth: Did he just not mention her?
Raymond Shields: Well, coz I was a kid, I asked and I prodded, he'd just clam up
Raymond Shields: Like he'd just stop talking entirely and get back to his investigation
Miles Edgeworth: Hmm
Miles Edgeworth: Couldn't have been over her death then
Raymond Shields: Oh so far from it
Raymond Shields: I got that she was "no longer with us" and hadn't been "for a long time"
Raymond Shields: But one time while we were investigating, he did say "turn over every rock, that's what my wife used to say"
Miles Edgeworth: So that does give the impression that she was in the legal profession
Raymond Shields: Yeah
Raymond Shields: I'll look into the elo, you look in the case records for Sophia Edgeworth
Miles Edgeworth: I might stumble across something
Miles Edgeworth: I'll keep you updated
Private chat between Datz Are'bal and Phoenix Wright
Phoenix Wright: Hey this is such a longshot but I've reached the end of my evidence trail completely and you're the only guy I know in the military so
Phoenix Wright: Did you ever know a Nathan Wright?
Phoenix Wright: Maybe Nathaniel, maybe Nat?
Phoenix Wright: I'm looking for my dad sorry that wasn't clear at all
Datz Are'bal: You are right, you are grabbing at straws
Datz Are'bal: Amazingly you've grabbed at a decently sized one
Phoenix Wright: Really?!
Datz Are'bal: I mean
Datz Are'bal: I knew a guy, back in the days I was stationed in Khura'in
Datz Are'bal: Nat Wright is what he was going by
Phoenix Wright: What did he look like?
Datz Are'bal: Oh shit now you've stumped me
Phoenix Wright: Eh?
Datz Are'bal: I am so bad at faces
Phoenix Wright: Aha fair
Phoenix Wright: Any like features you can remember?
Datz Are'bal: Homophobia
Phoenix Wright: WHAT
Datz Are'bal: NO
Datz Are'bal: HETEROPHOBIA
Phoenix Wright: WHAT ARE YOU SAYING
Datz Are'bal: TWO DIFFERENT COLOURED EYES
Phoenix Wright: HETEROCHROMIA????
Datz Are'bal: YEAH THAT
Phoenix Wright: THATS WHAT I HAVE
Datz Are'bal: YOURE HOMOPHOBIC??
Phoenix Wright: I HAVE A HUSBAND
Datz Are'bal: You're dodging the question
Phoenix Wright: Datz I'm losing brain cells
Phoenix Wright: Which eye which colours
Datz Are'bal: Left eye brown, right eye blue
Phoenix Wright: Same as mine…
Datz Are'bal: Oh sick!
Datz Are'bal: Do you reckon that might be him then?
Phoenix Wright: I mean I wouldn't know but it could be
Phoenix Wright: Do you have any contact details?
Datz Are'bal: Ohhhh I can look into it
Phoenix Wright: Thanks dude
Phoenix Wright: One more question and then I'll let you
Phoenix Wright: Get back to sleep I assume
Datz Are'bal: Pfft bold of you to assume I sleep
Datz Are'bal: But yeah go ahead
Phoenix Wright: What was he like?
Datz Are'bal: Hmm, I don't remember a lot about the guy, pretty generic
Datz Are'bal: He seemed like a man with a lot of regrets, sort of sad eyes, spent a lot of time reading the American newspapers that got delivered to our regiment
Phoenix Wright: Huh
Datz Are'bal: Ironically used to follow the law stories quite a bit
Phoenix Wright: About when was this?
Datz Are'bal: Gotta be like 2016 or so
Phoenix Wright: Interesting
Phoenix Wright: Did he mention about being stationed in Japan at all
Datz Are'bal: Yeah but he mostly talked about the food I think
Phoenix Wright: Right
Phoenix Wright: Thank you Datz this has been really interesting
Datz Are'bal: Any time Spikes
Private chat between Miles Edgeworth and Raymond Shields
Miles Edgeworth: Alright so I decided to start with just Edgeworth
Miles Edgeworth: I found stuff from my father's era, stuff filed from the elo
Miles Edgeworth: I found my own cases of course
Miles Edgeworth: Most notably the one I'm the defendant in
Miles Edgeworth: It was State v. Edgeworth Two
Raymond Shields: Oh what????
Raymond Shields: Who was the first???
Miles Edgeworth: That's what I wanted to know
Miles Edgeworth: Turns out the first State v. Edgeworth was Gregory Edgeworth
Raymond Shields: WHAT THE FUCK DUDE
Miles Edgeworth: I open the case
Miles Edgeworth: Check this out
Miles Edgeworth: State v. Edgeworth 1-1985.pdf
It's the first page of a case report, it details the murder of David Blake, the accused as Gregory Edgeworth, the defence as Sophia Williams and the prosecution as Edmund de la Pole. The verdict has been declared as not guilty.
Raymond Shields: 1985, he was like 21???
Raymond Shields: Dude that's insane
Raymond Shields: And de la Pole rings a bell, I'm pretty sure he was mentored by the same guy as mvk
Miles Edgeworth: Really?
Raymond Shields: Yeah
Raymond Shields: Might be wrong tho
Miles Edgeworth: That's not all though in terms of people that "ring a bell"
Miles Edgeworth: State v. Edgeworth 1-1985 page 2.pdf
It's the second page of the same case report, there are more people involved, witnesses etc, but, in added on biro, are the words: defence assistant: Misty Fey.
Raymond Shields: Oh my God
Raymond Shields: He knew Misty before that whole channelling mess????
Miles Edgeworth: I KNOW RIGHT
Miles Edgeworth: I mean it does answer my question about what my mother's maiden name was
Raymond Shields: Fucking hell I barely clocked that
Miles Edgeworth: It also brings to mind a lot more questions
Raymond Shields: Yeah like how did Soph and Greg know each other prior to the case or was she simply government assigned?
Miles Edgeworth: Firstly never call them by those nicknames again
Raymond Shields: HAH
Miles Edgeworth: Secondly, its highly unlikely considering her young age, a backwards search on Sophia Williams prior to 1985 gives her as the assistant on several cases but main attorney on only one
Raymond Shields: So presumably she either just picked him up on the way through investigation or they knew each other?
Miles Edgeworth: Yes
Miles Edgeworth: What about the ELO?
Raymond Shields: Ok so
Raymond Shields: I've found out that the ELO has been Edgeworths Law Offices, Williams and Edgeworth Law Offices, then just Williams Law Offices, going backwards
Miles Edgeworth: Interesting
Miles Edgeworth: I'm going to look into university records, the crime scene is the Ivy U campus which gives me something, hopefully I can get some insight from there
Miles Edgeworth: Before that I'm going to share my findings with Maya
Raymond Shields: Good god how are we all so intertwined
Miles Edgeworth: I feel like I'm gonna turn a page and find Nathan Wright in these case reports
Raymond Shields: AHAHAHAA
Private chat between Maya Fey and Miles Edgeworth.
Miles Edgeworth: Take a look at this Miss Fey
Maya Fey: oh?
Miles Edgeworth: State v. Edgeworth 1-1985.pdf
Miles Edgeworth: State v. Edgeworth 1-1985 page 2.pdf
Maya Fey: MOM?????
Miles Edgeworth: YES
Miles Edgeworth: AND MY MOTHER
Miles Edgeworth: AND MY FATHER
Maya Fey: WHAT THE FUCK
Miles Edgeworth: TELL ME ABOUT IT
Maya Fey: THIS IS SO INTERESTING??? HOW THE FUCK DID THEY KNOW A RANDOM SPIRIT MEDIUM FROM THE MIDDLE OF BUTTFUCK NOWHERE???
Miles Edgeworth: Literally???
Miles Edgeworth: I can understand how my parents knew each other, the murder took place on campus so one could assume they knew each other through school
Miles Edgeworth: Misty however
Maya Fey: good god i have so many questions
Maya Fey: screw it im getting pearly to channel mom when she gets home
Miles Edgeworth: Please please please tell me what you find
Maya Fey: yes boss
Groupchat: Miles and Phoenix's chat for the archival of anything interesting
Miles Edgeworth: State v. Edgeworth 1-1985.pdf
Miles Edgeworth: State v. Edgeworth 1-1985 page 2.pdf
Phoenix Wright: Oh what
Miles Edgeworth: Indeed
Phoenix Wright: MISTY????
Miles Edgeworth: I KNOW.
Miles Edgeworth: I have Maya looking into it
Phoenix Wright: This is fucking fascinating man
Phoenix Wright: Oh shit yeah
Phoenix Wright: Khura'in regiment 2016.jpg
Phoenix Wright: That's my dad in the front row, 3rd from the left
Phoenix Wright: It's Datz's old regiment
Miles Edgeworth: What a small world
Phoenix Wright: I cannot wait for the inevitable screaming attachment that your dad defended mine for murder
Miles Edgeworth: DONT JINX IT
Private chat between Miles Edgeworth and Raymond Shields
Miles Edgeworth: Huh
Raymond Shields: What's up?
Miles Edgeworth: I've been looking through the testimonies of State v. Edgeworth 1
Raymond Shields: And?
Miles Edgeworth: It seems Misty Fey briefly attended Ivy U and acted as a sort of character witness for my father
Miles Edgeworth: And is the reason my mother was hired
Miles Edgeworth: She was called to the stand trial day 2
Raymond Shields: I see
Raymond Shields: So they were friends through school I suppose
Miles Edgeworth: It seems they attended the same cooking club
Raymond Shields: C
Raymond Shields: COOKING CLUB???
Raymond Shields: I mean he did make a banging pavlova
Miles Edgeworth: I'm not going to question that
Miles Edgeworth: Also there's a note on the case file that they had to hire a sign interpreter for my father?
Raymond Shields: Oh yeah
Raymond Shields: When Gregory used to get really overwhelmed he used to sign
Miles Edgeworth: He went nonverbal?
Raymond Shields: Yeah!
Miles Edgeworth: Interesting
Raymond Shields: It was probably really stressful being accused of murder
Miles Edgeworth: I
Miles Edgeworth: Yes.
Miles Edgeworth: It is stressful to be accused of murder.
Raymond Shields: Forgot who I was talking to lol
Raymond Shields: But yeah he would sometimes start signing and man I never got taught that
Raymond Shields: So it just turned into this really elaborate game of charades
Miles Edgeworth: Hahaha
Raymond Shields: Sometimes he would use a pen and paper
Miles Edgeworth: Apparently my mother stated: "Your Honor this is unnecessary, why can't I translate for him?"
Miles Edgeworth: The Judge responded that that would give the defence too much room for their own interpretation
Raymond Shields: I mean yeah checks out
Raymond Shields: Can kinda see where their romance came from tho
Miles Edgeworth: Elaborate?
Raymond Shields: Well she defended him for murder
Miles Edgeworth: That doesn't mean much
Raymond Shields: You married the guy that defended you for murder
Miles Edgeworth: That does not matter
Raymond Shields: HA
Raymond Shields: But also she understood him in a time of crisis where nobody else did
Miles Edgeworth: Hmm
Raymond Shields: Which also sounds a lot like you and Phoenix
Miles Edgeworth: Die
Raymond Shields: Nah
Raymond Shields: If only I knew you during your teenage years I would have so much more bullying material
Raymond Shields: Did you like mcr
Miles Edgeworth: I'm not responding to that question I have case files to read
Raymond Shields: Boring
Miles Edgeworth: And?
Raymond Shields: Not to say I miss your dad but I miss your dad
Miles Edgeworth: So do I
Miles Edgeworth: With age, the memories I do have of him are fading away
Miles Edgeworth: That's why I want to find out what I can
Raymond Shields: So you have something left
Miles Edgeworth: Yeah
Raymond Shields: It is very depressing
Miles Edgeworth: I know
Miles Edgeworth: But hey ho
Miles Edgeworth: I'm going to have a look at the later cases
Raymond Shields: Have fun!
Groupchat: Miles and Phoenix's chat for the archival of anything interesting
Miles Edgeworth: HEY NICKY
Phoenix Wright: NOOO WHAT
Miles Edgeworth: State v. Vasquez-1 2001.png
It's another case file, the accused a Rhuben Vasquez, the deceased a William Gumshoe, the defence is none other than Gregory Edgeworth.
Miles Edgeworth: So there's this
Phoenix Wright: VASQUEZ?
Phoenix Wright: GUMSHOE??????
Miles Edgeworth: It doesn't stop there
Miles Edgeworth: State v. Vasquez-1 2001 page 2.png
It's the next page, a list of other persons involved. Witnesses include a couple of people with the surname Cadaverinni and Kitake, Richard Gumshoe and Nathan Wright, pen next to Nathan Wright indicates him as a bystander on military leave and painting him responsible for the short trial time - 3 days.
Phoenix Wright: NO FUCKING WAY
Miles Edgeworth: YEAH
Phoenix Wright: Ok first off this is definitely a mafia killing if the Cadaverinnis, Kitakes AND the Vasquezs are involved, like that's major
Miles Edgeworth: Yes, through a quick sift, it was proven that William's death was an accident, he was caught in the crossfire of a major mafia blow out. Vasquez was proven innocent of the murder, it was one of the Kitakes, but Vasquez was still imprisoned and I think everyone left the case with a sour taste in their mouth
Phoenix Wright: Why the hell is Nathan involved?
Miles Edgeworth: Bystander, for all intents and purposes, he was not
Phoenix Wright: Hang on, he was in America, in Japanifornia, on leave
Miles Edgeworth: Do you think he might have been planning to visit or something?
Phoenix Wright: I am genuinely not sure
Phoenix Wright: I'm trying to get a general gist of his movements
Phoenix Wright: That's so odd though
Phoenix Wright: Why were we actually intertwined
Miles Edgeworth: Hang on let me check dates
Miles Edgeworth: Ah January 2001
Phoenix Wright: Why does that make a difference hold on I'm lost
Miles Edgeworth: Well I'm thinking, if it was post May, I would've been confused as to why a man named Wright, with heterochromia, did not strike a chord with my father, who was good friends with Micky
Phoenix Wright: TRUE
Phoenix Wright: But because it was January, he wouldn't have known her yet
Miles Edgeworth: Exactly
Miles Edgeworth: And I expect he took too many cases or was too preoccupied with the Master case to recall that one
Phoenix Wright: Still
Phoenix Wright: Do you reckon that's what Gumshoe was talking about, the death of his brother?
Miles Edgeworth: It stands to reason
Miles Edgeworth: Because of that, I'm going to go back to looking at Sophia Williams instead of pursuing this
Phoenix Wright: Good plan
Miles Edgeworth: What's your next step?
Phoenix Wright: Um
Phoenix Wright: Well considering Datz has just given me a fucking phone number I guess I'm texting Nathan Wright????
Miles Edgeworth: How the
Miles Edgeworth: Actually I don't wanna know
Phoenix Wright: Me neither
Phoenix Wright: I'll tell you how it goes
Miles Edgeworth: Good luck darling
Phoenix Wright: You too love
Private chat created between Phoenix Wright and Nathan Wright
Phoenix Wright: Hi. My name is Phoenix Wright. I've been doing some research on my family recently, most notably my father as I have never met him. I've followed the trail to you, but, who knows, I could have gotten it wrong. Is there any possibility that you may have had a child with a Japanese lady you met while deployed? I think the encounter would have happened around March 1992? Thank you, sorry to bother you.
The message has been opened but not responded to.
Notes:
yes im sorry for the cliffhanger but i also haven't written anymore yet so
Chapter 3: Connections
Notes:
hi
sorry it's been years and this is the only thing i can manage right now, funny lawyer chatfic cures all
in my defence my dad died ao3 author's curse real
so
yeah
anyway enjoy
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
Chapter Text
Groupchat: of course you didn't have a good childhood look at you you're a prosecutor
Franny: I just saw a rat
Miles Edgeworth: Ok that's great, can we all stick together please?
Diego Armando: I think we missed the connection Chief
Miles Edgeworth: Oh I am going to have a breakdown, what fucking tube train do we need to take
Simon Blackquill: Give me like a second for my sleeper agent train autism to activate
Sebby Debby: Um
Sebby Debby: Were we supposed to get off that last train by now
Franny: Ja.
Sebby Debby: Uh oh.
Lally Callabichi: chief we are lost
Yuta: Somebody is looking at me like I killed their first born child
Miles Edgeworth: I literally feel like a teacher, you are all my students and I will never be able to leave you alone
Simon Blackquill: Ok, Seb, Lally and Yuta, you need to get off at the next station and tell me what it is
Lally Callabichi: slough
Yuta: Ooo coffee
Lally Callabichi: no
Simon Blackquill: H
Simon Blackquill: HOW
Sebby Debby: Elizabeth line
Simon Blackquill: Ok fucks sake, all of you follow me
Miles Edgeworth: KLAVIER
Klavier Gavin: Es tut mir leid I'm coming!
Klavier Gavin: Somebody was talking to me about the bake off
Franny: Warum
Klavier Gavin: They were telling me how shocking my meringue was :(
Simon Blackquill: It wasn't good
Klavier Gavin: You watched the episode?!
Simon Blackquill: Shut up and scan your fucking card
Simon Blackquill: We're retrieving idiots
Diego Armando: Look Fran there's another rat
Miles Edgeworth: Stop looking at the rat and get on the damn train!!!!!
Simon Blackquill: MIND THE FUCKING DOOR
Diego Armando: Ow
Simon Blackquill: You are an idiot
Diego Armando: In my defense I can't see.
Lally Callabichi: it's raining
Simon Blackquill: It's always raining
Simon Blackquill: I think I can see you
Sebby Debby: Oh thank God
Yuta: There you are!
Miles Edgeworth: Right. Now what
Diego Armando: Where were we actually trying to go
Diego Armando: Before everyone got lost at
Diego Armando: Uh
Franny: Paddington
Franny: Like the bear
Simon Blackquill: We were trying to get to Oxford Circus
Simon Blackquill: All we had to do was cross to the Bakerloo Line and now we're in fucking Slough
Simon Blackquill: I'm literally two stops away from the change to my town
Simon Blackquill: I might as well go visit my fucking nan
Yuta: Sorry
Simon Blackquill: It's fine
Simon Blackquill: Edgeworth-dono might die
Miles Edgeworth: I think I just got called a slur
Franny: I thought that was aimed at me
Simon Blackquill: What was it
Miles Edgeworth: Yank
Simon Blackquill: You're just being called an American, get back on the fucking train
Franny: Well that's not true, should I tell them I'm German
Simon Blackquill: NO THEY LOOK OLD
Lally Callabichi: im so lost
Simon Blackquill: See Lally there was this thing called World War 2
Private chat between Hershel Layton and Miles Edgeworth
Hershel Layton: Are you arriving any time soon?
Miles Edgeworth: We've just been to Slough.
Hershel Layton: That's. Ok.
Miles Edgeworth: Lally and Seb wandered onto the Elizabeth Line
Hershel Layton: You have to go down stairs for that
Hershel Layton: You WERE at Paddington, right?
Miles Edgeworth: Allegedly
Miles Edgeworth: Simon wants me to tell you we're on the Bakerloo Line now
Hershel Layton: Wonderful
Hershel Layton: You will see my son before me
Miles Edgeworth: I have never met Alfendi
Hershel Layton: Tall, messed up hair, he's wearing a labcoat
Miles Edgeworth: I'll keep it in mind
Private chat between Miles Edgeworth and Phoenix Wright
Phoenix Wright: How's the office trip to London
Miles Edgeworth: I want to die
Phoenix Wright: I see
Miles Edgeworth: It's hot. It's loud. There's too many people. The tube map is ridiculous. We lost Seb, Lally and Yuta for a bit and Hershel wants me to look out for Alfendi instead of him because he's short but it's one too many change of plans
Miles Edgeworth: I need to sit in a cold, dark room after this but instead I need to be in court in 3 hours
Phoenix Wright: Shit
Miles Edgeworth: I'll be OK
Phoenix Wright: :( If you wanna call me later I'm right here
Phoenix Wright: You're doing so well
Miles Edgeworth: I feel like I'm about to burst into tears
Miles Edgeworth: We're off the train now
Phoenix Wright: The fresh air will help I bet
Miles Edgeworth: Yes
Phoenix Wright: I love you
Miles Edgeworth: I love you too
Miles Edgeworth: Has Nathan responded yet?
Phoenix Wright: Nope. 3 days now since he's seen it
Miles Edgeworth: Hmm.
Phoenix Wright: My reaction exactly
Phoenix Wright: Made the mistake of telling Mom and she started cussing him out so
Miles Edgeworth: I see
Miles Edgeworth: Ok I've got to do that card scan thing, I'll speak to you when I can
Phoenix Wright: Ok, stay safe <3
Miles Edgeworth: You too <3
Groupchat: why am I the only one popping their pussy right now -mia fey, posthumously
Trucy Wright: It is impossible to avoid becoming your parents.
Pearl Fey: That's not a nice thort :c
Trucy Wright: It is impossible for everyone but Pearl to avoid becoming your parents.
Apollo Justice: What have you done
Apollo Justice: Which parent are you emulating
Athena Cykes: i love how worried you are when this is objectively so funny
Apollo Justice: Why do you know
Athena Cykes: she's shadowing me today
Athena Cykes: and she found her little rival on the app
Trucy Wright: Remember how I said she's like if Vivian from Legally Blonde mated with Winston Payne
Trucy Wright: That's what we call foreshadowing
Phoenix Wright: You're kidding.
Trucy Wright: Her full name is Justine Walker-Payne.
Trucy Wright: She goes by Justine Walker
Trucy Wright: I thought I was safe
Trucy Wright: No
Trucy Wright: She's a Payne.
Apollo Justice: Yeah Thena you're right this is objectively hilarious
Athena Cykes: it gets worse
Phoenix Wright: How 😭😭😭
Trucy Wright: As soon as I get back from break in September we have a mock trial thing, everyone from the defense course up against the prosecution course moderated by the judges and using old cases
Trucy Wright: I'm on defense, she's on prosecution
Phoenix Wright: Ofc
Trucy Wright: The Judge's granddaughter (who is actually so annoying ok we know you're related I'm literally a Wright I'm literally royalty in the law world) she's the judge on the case
Trucy Wright: Take a wild fucking guess what case it is
Phoenix Wright: OH MY GOD THATS WHY YOUVE BEEN ASKING ABOUT MY FIRST CASE
Phoenix Wright: NO THATS SO FUCKING FUNNY
Trucy Wright: I don't think there's a god but they have it out for me
Maya Fey: the spirits
Trucy Wright: Ah yes how could I forget
Maya Fey: never forget
Apollo Justice: Athena
Athena Cykes: i'm trying so hard not to make a 9/11 joke
Maya Fey: i don't think any of us would be offended
Phoenix Wright: No I'm secretly incredibly patriotic Maya how did you not know
Athena Cykes: are you actually
Phoenix Wright: Athena my mother is an immigrant of course I'm not
Trucy Wright: So yeah, that's why it's impossible for us all to avoid becoming our parents thank you for coming to my TedTalk
Apollo Justice: Can't lie, I really hope I don't
Phoenix Wright: :(
Apollo Justice: YOURE NOT MY DAD????
Maya Fey: don't be mean apollo you've made your dad sad
Phoenix Wright: Yeah what the hell Apollo
Apollo Justice: You actually drive me insane
Apollo Justice: Maybe I'll pull a mom and get shot in the head, live, and then abandon everyone who was worried about me and become a pop star
Trucy Wright: Thalassa moment ♥️♥️♥️
Maya Fey: ill pull a my mom and also disappear and then get stabbed by nicks ex
Phoenix Wright: I have no more exes for you to be stabbed by
Maya Fey: iris
Phoenix Wright: I didn't date Iris knowing she was Iris, it doesn't count
Phoenix Wright: AND SHE ALMOST STABBED YOUR MOM
Trucy Wright: Damn you were really too hung up on your childhood crush to even consider getting any weren't you
Phoenix Wright: Yes
Phoenix Wright: Next question
Athena Cykes: damn, didn't even deny it
Phoenix Wright: Well it is common knowledge that I love him far too much for my own good
Athena Cykes: speaking of hows the prosecutors trip to england going
Phoenix Wright: Not great
Apollo Justice: They got lost on the tube and Sebastian ended up in a different city
Apollo Justice: Slough
Trucy Wright: Slough is a town
Apollo Justice: You only know that because Katrielle told you
Trucy Wright: And
Athena Cykes: id like to say im surprised but im not
Phoenix Wright: Miles has to be in court in like 2 hours but he's busy being locked in a public toilet trying not to have a meltdown
Phoenix Wright: That's why I'm barely responding
Trucy Wright: Oh poor Papa
Phoenix Wright: He’ll be ok, court is literally the place he feels the most at home because he's a weird little freak and I love him, but he's just having a moment
Athena Cykes: “autism friendly scheduling” my ass
Apollo Justice: To be fair to the government, how were they meant to know Sebastian Debeste is clinically stupid
Pearl Fey: Be nice he's just a little guy
Maya Fey: do you ever like sit back and deep the fact he changed his name entirely
Trucy Wright: It was Eustace.
Trucy Wright: Who willingly calls themselves Eustace.
Apollo Justice: 🤚 I also did that
Athena Cykes: CALLED YOURSELF EUSTACE???
Apollo Justice: NO USE YOUR BRAIN I CHANGED MY ENTIRE NAME
Athena Cykes: you're not special
Trucy Wright: Who actually goes by the same surname and first name they were born with
Maya Fey: i do
Pearl Fey: I do
Phoenix: My Mom called me Phoenix you think I'm trading that?
Trucy Wright: Good point
Athena Cykes: oh shit off your phone truce we've got a defendant to speak to
Trucy Wright: YIPPEE
Groupchat: holy shit my mozzarella sticks are here -ray shields, 4 am
Ollie Lone: why is there not a single prosecutor i know in the building today
Laura Williams: They're in England
Ollie Lone: aw feck you're kidding
Ollie Lone: rip 🙏
Ray Shields: Why are they in England
Laura Williams: Why would I know
Laura Williams: Edgeworth is literally your nephew, ask him
Ray Shields: No <3
Miles Edgeworth: You do know I can see these
Ray Shields: And
Ollie Lone: why are you in england have you done something wrong
Miles Edgeworth: No
Miles Edgeworth: International thing
Ray Shields: You alright?
Miles Edgeworth: No but I've got court so I can't really focus on that
Ollie Lone: was it just the ambient awful vibes
Laura Williams: What's your problem with England
Ollie Lone: two words
Ollie Lone: potato
Ollie Lone: famine
Ray Shields: Oh yeah I forgot you were Irish
Laura Williams: How could you forget
Laura Williams: I talk like I'm about to lasso you and he talks like he's been caught green handed at the foot of a rainbow
Ollie Lone: are you being homophobic
Laura Williams: No
Laura Williams: I am so tired of working here
Ollie Lone: then quit :3
Laura Williams: Then I wouldn't have a job
Ray Shields: Don't quit I'll cry
Miles Edgeworth: He will
Laura Williams: What's your case about Mr Edgeworth?
Miles Edgeworth: Train murder
Miles Edgeworth: Just your standard train murder
Laura Williams: Oh, I see
Laura Williams: Guilty?
Miles Edgeworth: Maybe
Miles Edgeworth: I miss my husband :(
Ollie Lone: that's the first time i've seen him use an emoji i didn't know he could do that
Miles Edgeworth: I am capable of more than you can possibly imagine
Ray Shields: Pre-court emotional turmoil causing you to be right ominous there kid
Miles Edgeworth: I am so jetlagged
Miles Edgeworth: My blazer is bothering me
Miles Edgeworth: The seam of my sock is making me want to kill myself
Miles Edgeworth: I can hear my sister chewing and she is across the room
Miles Edgeworth: I need to be put in a vault
Laura Williams: Yeah I get you honey
Laura Williams: Drink some water and if you need to start screaming, just do it
Ollie Lone: they might cancel the trial if you start acting like a fucking lunatic
Miles Edgeworth: I am one loud noise away from doing exactly this
Ray Shields: Put your head in your lap and close your eyes with your hands over your ears
Ray Shields: That's what your Dad used to do
Miles Edgeworth: That might help
Miles Edgeworth: That did help
Miles Edgeworth: Thank you and sorry for the messages prior
Ray Shields: It's alright kid, any time
Miles Edgeworth: I am 39 years old
Miles Edgeworth: But yes thank you
Laura Williams: You got this Mr Edgeworth, have a good trial!
Ollie Lone: stop sucking up
Ollie Lone: go win or whatever
Miles Edgeworth: Thank you for your ever-evolving confidence Oliver
Ollie Lone: you're welcome
Ollie Lone: kilometres
Miles Edgeworth: I don't know how to respond to that
Groupchat: makka pakka picarat idfk -alfendi upon being asked to name the family gc
Alfendi Layton: im going big tesco
Katri: Congratulations
Alfendi Layton: do you want anything from big tesco
Katri: Yes
Alfendi Layton: what do you want from big tesco
Katri: Apple juice
Alfendi Layton: would you like tescos own brand apple juice from big tesco
Katri: No
Alfendi Layton: what type of apple juice do you want from big tesco
Katri: Sainsburys own
Alfendi Layton: you cannot get that from big tesco
Katri: I know
Alfendi Layton: so, in fact, you do not want anything from big tesco
Katri: No
Alfendi Layton: well this was a waste of my fucking time then
Alfendi Layton: i could've been at big tesco by now
Katri: Maybe you should try harder to get to Big Tesco
Flora Reinhold: I will throw one of you in the Thames if you keep going
Alfendi Layton: boring
Flora Reinhold: Tired!
Flora Reinhold: Alfendi, a child threw up on me today
Flora Reinhold: Nothing you say to me matters
Alfendi Layton: that sucks
Alfendi Layton: anyway
Emmy Altava: be nice
Emmy Altava: how come flo?
Flora Reinhold: He was jumping up and down too much
Flora Reinhold: Then he took a drink from his patented Steel Samurai water bottle, swallowed and threw up all over my favourite dress
Luke Triton: Oh that's what's in the wash
Luke Triton: I was wondering who put on a SINGLE ITEM LOAD
Emmy Altava: when the hell did you become this annoying
Luke Triton: I was always annoying I just became an adult
Luke Triton: So now I'm annoying in a different way
Luke Triton: I could go back if you want
Emmy Altava: what does that entail
Luke Triton: I need to find the nearest cat
Hershel Layton: Nobody here is annoying
Desmond Sycamore: Liar
Hershel Layton: ?
Desmond Sycamore: You are
Hershel Layton: I say four words
Emmy Altava: i mean he isn't wrong
Hershel Layton: I
Hershel Layton: Ok
Hershel Layton: Who's turn is it for dinner?
Alfendi Layton: wrote it on the chalkboard
Hershel Layton: If I was at home I would check the chalkboard son
Alfendi Layton: your point?
Luke Triton: It's Flora
Flora Reinhold: It's not
Emmy Altava: it's luke
Luke Triton: :(
Luke Triton: That's Professor Triton to you
Emmy Altava: i am never fucking calling you that
Emmy Altava: you are 8 years old and a baby
Luke Triton: I am 29 actually
Hershel Layton: The reason I ask is I need to know what you're planning because we have so many people to feed
Hershel Layton: And I think we have a pineapple allergy
Luke Triton: Erm
Luke Triton: Pizza or a massive fucking lasagna
Desmond Sycamore: Pizza
Emmy Altava: pizza
Katri: Pizza
Alfendi Layton: pizza
Flora Reinhold: Pizza
Flora Reinhold: Randall also says pizza
Hershel Layton: I see
Katri: Rosa also says pizza
Luke Triton: Hmm
Luke Triton: Alfendiiiiii?
Alfendi Layton: what
Luke Triton: Can you get pizzas from Big Tesco
Luke Triton: No pineapple
Alfendi Layton: i will get you pizzas from big tesco
Alfendi Layton: no pineapple
Luke Triton: Thank you unofficial brother of mine
Groupchat: Group Therapy
Katri: Steve le
Katri: Poiiison
Trucy Wright: Le poisson Steve
Cody Hackins: (Poisson Steve)
Bonny de Famme: Il es oraaaaange
Betty de Famme: il es des bras
Pearl Fey: Et des jammes
Katri: Le poisson Steve! :D
Trucy Wright: Well done everyone
Cody Hackins: Glad we could provide a service this fine day
Katri: Trucy your lawyer friends are weird
Trucy Wright: What are they doing
Katri: Renowned musician Klavier Gavin is arguing with my aunt Emmy about Charli XCX, your other father is talking about only tea with my only father, my sister seems far too interested in your aunt's whip, Alfendi and Desmond are terrorising Mx Callabichi and the dumb one, Randall -and therefore also my father- and Simon apparently come from the same village and then Luke is interrogating Yuta about their country because he doesn't realise he's being annoying
Trucy Wright: Damn OK
Trucy Wright: Not the dumb one poor Sebby
Bonny de Famme: Who isn't interested in your aunt's whip
Cody Hackins: As a bisexual man
Betty de Famme: trucy if i ask really nicely do you think she would
Trucy Wright: I'm ignoring you
Trucy Wright: She's happily engaged and like 12 years older than you
Betty de Famme: milf
Katri: Fucking hell
Trucy Wright: Is Diego OK?
Katri: Is that the one with the mask?
Trucy Wright: Yeah
Katri: He's talking to the housekeeper
Cody Hackins: Hold on
Cody Hackins: Pause
Cody Hackins: Rewind
Cody Hackins: Backspace
Cody Hackins: You have a housekeeper?????
Katri: Yeah
Katri: My Dad works and has four kids and no partner or time
Katri: It's a necessity rather than a luxury
Katri: Rosa is basically just part of the family
Cody Hackins: This is bizarre to me but ok
Katri: I love her she's like my mum
Betty de Famme: mum
Katri: mOm I neED to GO WAlk oN tHe SiDEWalk AnD PAY for ObAmACaRE
Trucy Wright: You turned 14 and suddenly I really want to hit you with something
Katri: That's what turning 14 does to an mf
Betty de Famme: we need to get you off twitter
Katri: I'm not on Twitter
Katri: Dad says it's bad for my development
Pearl Fey: Once again, Professor Layton is correct
Katri: He's not correct rn
Cody Hackins: Why
Katri: He's expressing his distaste for le poisson Steve
Pearl Fey: :c
Trucy Wright: Is it because you all keep singing it
Katri: Yes but in my defence nobody in this household is neurotypical
Cody Hackins: Based
Cody Hackins: Why isn't Noah on this chat hold on
Betty de Famme: do you not remember your 3am sexuality crisis chat history is on babes
Cody Hackins: Yeah but
Cody Hackins: Noah
Trucy Wright: Bro you have been so embarrassing over the years
Pearl Fey: Also this is the friend groupchat :c no boyfriends allowed
Cody Hackins: You're here
Pearl Fey: I'm speshul
Cody Hackins: Damn right you fucking are
Betty de Famme: in her defense we were friends with her before trucy started dating her
Cody Hackins: I was friends with Ryan :(
Trucy Wright: Guys I'm literally in court can you not
Bonny de Famme: Put your phone on silent girlypops
Trucy Wright: No <3
Trucy Wright: Don't add Ryan we like him but not that much
Cody Hackins: Yeah fair
Cody Hackins: And actually I did have a fairly embarrassing 3am moment when I first realised I liked him
Trucy Wright: Yeah how dare you change and grow on the groupchat
Cody Hackins: Ikr how silly of me
Trucy Wright: Smh
Trucy Wright: Can I do a poll on whether this guy is guilty
Betty de Famme: give us the deets
Trucy Wright: Locked room hotel murderer, cameras show the boyfriend coming into her room and then leaving, then she leaves and comes back and then she's dead like 2 hours later
Betty de Famme: any blind spots?
Trucy Wright: No evidence
Betty de Famme: girl probably committed suicide can't lie
Trucy Wright: That's our running theory
Trucy Wright: But she was also dating another guy
Bonny de Famme: Slay
Pearl Fey: Good for her
Cody Hackins: Queen
Trucy Wright: And HE is seen twice on the cameras coming and going on the floor below
Betty de Famme: maybe he crawled up and into a window?
Trucy Wright: It's a possibility
Trucy Wright: I'll bring it up to Thena
Cody Hackins: So is your guy the first one or the sidehoe
Trucy Wright: First one
Bonny de Famme: Sounds like he's probably not guilty
Betty de Famme: employ your law superpower
Trucy Wright: I'm trying but I need a bracelet like Pollo’s to make it work fully
Trucy Wright: It's annoying as fuck
Pearl Fey: Trucyyyyy
Trucy Wright: Ya?
Pearl Fey: Feel free to shoot this down compleatly but
Pearl Fey: What if you ask your mom
Pearl Fey: She had matching bracelets right?
Trucy Wright: Huh
Trucy Wright: She did
Trucy Wright: Well remembered
Pearl Fey: Of course that means you do have to talk to her
Trucy Wright: Yeah
Cody Hackins: Are you ready for that?
Trucy Wright: I'm not sure really
Betty de Famme: up to you babes
Betty de Famme: are you not in court
Trucy Wright: Shit
Trucy Wright: I forgor
Pearl Fey: Wright energy
Trucy Wright: I am what I am
Private chat between Trucy Wright and Phoenix Wright
Trucy Wright: Hi Dad
Phoenix Wright: Hey sweetheart, everything OK?
Trucy Wright: Yeah all good
Phoenix Wright: You sure?
Trucy Wright: I mean
Trucy Wright: Sorta
Phoenix Wright: Elaborate
Phoenix Wright: Do you want me to pick you up from court
Trucy Wright: Yes but that's not why I texted you
Trucy Wright: About my mother
Phoenix Wright: Yeah?
Phoenix Wright: What about her?
Trucy Wright: She has my bracelet, right?
Phoenix Wright: Yeah I think so
Trucy Wright: I want that bracelet
Phoenix Wright: I see
Trucy Wright: But I don't wanna talk to her
Phoenix Wright: Right
Phoenix Wright: Are you sure?
Trucy Wright: I dunno
Trucy Wright: I know you're on a forgiveness train with trying to talk to your dad
Trucy Wright: But I don't know what I wanna do
Phoenix Wright: Oh I'm not forgiving my dad, I just want answers
Phoenix Wright: He still hasn't replied by the way
Trucy Wright: Jackass
Phoenix Wright: That being said, it's entirely up to you sweetheart
Phoenix Wright: You're 19 years old, it is your choice whether you want that woman in your life or not
Trucy Wright: But I don't know if I do :(
Phoenix Wright: I get it
Phoenix Wright: Have a think about it, you don't have to decide right this second
Phoenix Wright: You want picking up?
Trucy Wright: Yeah
Phoenix Wright: I can't drive
Trucy Wright: FUCK I FORGOT
Phoenix Wright: Your driving parent is in England
Trucy Wright: :(
Phoenix Wright: I could pick you up on the bike like old times?
Trucy Wright: Pfft
Trucy Wright: Somehow I don't think that would work
Trucy Wright: Thena needs to come too
Phoenix Wright: I dunno we could try
Trucy Wright: Yeah I mean I guess 😭😭😭
Trucy Wright: Oh shit wait I have a brother
Phoenix Wright: Oh yeah
Phoenix Wright: Forgor
Private chat between Apollo Justice and Trucy Wright
Trucy Wright: Apollooooooo
Apollo Justice: Trucy
Trucy Wright: You know how much you love me
Apollo Justice: Uh huh
Trucy Wright: You know how happy you are that I'm your sister
Apollo Justice: The fuck do you want
Trucy Wright: 👉👈 Lift back from the courthouse?
Apollo Justice: Ugh
Trucy Wright: Pleeeeease Athena forgot her car
Apollo Justice: Yeah ok but give me like 10 mins
Apollo Justice: How do you forget a car
Trucy Wright: Yay!!!!
Trucy Wright: How come tho
Apollo Justice: I'm finishing the last chapter of Pride and Prejudice
Trucy Wright: Huh
Trucy Wright: What
Trucy Wright: Why
Trucy Wright: I thought you were working
Apollo Justice: Slow day
Apollo Justice: And I am not immune to Mr Darcy
Trucy Wright: You know what
Trucy Wright: Fair enough
Trucy Wright: I'm also considering messaging the birth-giver
Apollo Justice: Oh
Apollo Justice: Why
Trucy Wright: I want my bracelet
Apollo Justice: So valid
Apollo Justice: Considering?
Trucy Wright: Yeah
Trucy Wright: I don't remember what she was like from our case was she nice
Apollo Justice: Eh
Apollo Justice: Quiet
Apollo Justice: I dunno
Apollo Justice: My memory is kinda tainted now
Trucy Wright: That makes sense
Trucy Wright: I dunnoooooo
Apollo Justice: Have you spoken to Phoenix about it?
Trucy Wright: Yeah but he's about as helpful as always
Trucy Wright: “Whatever you think is best”
Apollo Justice: I mean he is right
Apollo Justice: You are literally the only one that can decide if you want to talk to Thalassa or not
Trucy Wright: I know
Trucy Wright: But I want someone to tell me what to do :(
Apollo Justice: You're not gonna get that
Apollo Justice: You're not a kid anymore Truce
Trucy Wright: Yeah
Trucy Wright: It sucks
Apollo Justice: It really does
Apollo Justice: Think it over and listen to your heart
Trucy Wright: All my heart says is thump thump
Apollo Justice: Maybe you need the cute arrhythmia I have
Trucy Wright: Everyone say thank you Jove
Trucy Wright: Anyway you go back to sucking Mr Darcy off
Apollo Justice: Listen.
Apollo Justice: You don't know him like I do
Trucy Wright: Uh huh
Trucy Wright: See you in ten?
Apollo Justice: Maybe 12
Trucy Wright: K
Trucy Wright: Gay boy
Apollo Justice: :P
Apollo Justice: I am what I am
Groupchat: Can we get anything Wright?
Miles Edgeworth: Can someone feed the dogs?
Mikoto Wright: I am in the garage.
Miles Edgeworth: That’s ok, can someone else feed the dogs?
Phoenix Wright: Office
Trucy Wright: Also office
Apollo Justice: I was on the way to a crime scene
Apollo Justice: How much is it
Miles Edgeworth: I left guidance on the kitchen counter
Apollo Justice: Sick one
Miles Edgeworth: I hope not
Apollo Justice: How’s the autism assessment going Mr Edgeworth
Miles Edgeworth: It’s going great.
Miles Edgeworth: Feed my dogs
Apollo Justice: I’m on it I’m on it
Trucy Wright: I forget you’re on this chat Pollo
Apollo Justice: Me too
Apollo Justice: I actually have it muted lol
Phoenix Wright: APOLLO
Phoenix Wright: WHAT IF THERE WAS AN EMERGENCY
Apollo Justice: I literally see you every day I feel like you’d probably tell me
Phoenix Wright: What if I couldn’t
Phoenix Wright: What if I turned into a worm
Apollo Justice: Can you get a grip
Apollo Justice: I’m literally driving to go feed YOUR husband’s dogs
Phoenix Wright: Because you’re a wonderful person who would still love me if I was a worm
Miles Edgeworth: It is a stupid thing to ask Phoenix we’ve been over this
Phoenix Wright: But are you saying you wouldn’t love me if I was a worm
Miles Edgeworth: This would never happen
Phoenix Wright: But what if it did
Miles Edgeworth: What if I grew a second head Wright
Phoenix Wright: I would love you anyway
Trucy Wright: I don’t even know how to respond to this one
Apollo Justice: I am ignoring it
Apollo Justice: What are the dogs names I don’t live here
Miles Edgeworth: Pess and Missile
Apollo Justice: Which one is which
Phoenix Wright: Pess is long, Missile is aging
Trucy Wright: Pess is a borzoi <3
Apollo Justice: Gotcha
Miles Edgeworth: Thank you Mr Justice, it’s much appreciated
Mikoto Wright: You know it isn’t illegal for you to call each other by your first names.
Apollo Justice: Yeah but
Apollo Justice: It feels wrong
Miles Edgeworth: I concur
Mikoto Wright: ちくしょう.
Phoenix Wright: Ikr
Groupchat: The Gavinners: ACAB edition
Vivian Fastisse: How is everyone getting on 🎵
Klavier Gavin: I am in England
Vivian Fastisse: Why? 🏴
Klavier Gavin: Ask my other manager
Klavier Gavin: It’s some international prosecuting problem case or whatever
Pic Colo: you don’t seem that invested piano man
Klavier Gavin: I’m not
Klavier Gavin: I mean other than the actual trial parts I’m not doing much
Klavier Gavin: I actually just spent my dinner arguing with a lesbian about charli xcx
Claire Inett: based
Pic Colo: literally the faggiest sentence you’ve ever said
Klavier Gavin: Hmm, not sure it is
Vivian Fastisse: Guys 👯
Claire Inett: not the bunny ladies!
Klavier Gavin: Es tut mir leid, I’ve derailed
Klavier Gavin: You were checking in?
Vivian Fastisse: Yes ✅
Vivian Fastisse: How much has everyone written? 🖊️
Klavier Gavin: I wrote three songs on the flight but all of them suck
Claire Inett: 😭
Claire Inett: i have written one track and it is like okay
Pic Colo: i’ve written 2.75 tracks
Klavier Gavin: What’s the 0.75
Pic Colo: i have written an instrumental
Klavier Gavin: Nice
Claire Inett: klav why do you think yours suck
Klavier Gavin: Because I wrote the first one about Apollo and it doesn’t do him justice
Klavier Gavin: HAH
Pic Colo: you are so fucking lame
Klavier Gavin: Ja and
Claire Inett: the other two?
Klavier Gavin: I got depressed and they’re about my brother
Pic Colo: 😀 oh. that’s not.
Klavier Gavin: Ja
Claire Inett: you good bro
Klavier Gavin: Eh. I’ll get over it
Klavier Gavin: I’ve had my crash out
Pic Colo: no you still have all your hair
Klavier Gavin: I am not sacrificing that
Vivian Fastisse: Ok, so. We all have interesting definitions of progress 👏
Claire Inett: what was your point vivi
Vivian Fastisse: Would you like a gig 🎤
Klavier Gavin: Sure
Pic Colo: aight
Claire Inett: w, w, w?
Klavier Gavin: What?
Claire Inett: where when why
Claire Inett: i cba to type piano man
Klavier Gavin: You two are so uncreative with your nicknames
Klavier Gavin: One of Apollo’s sisters calls me corkscrew head
Pic Colo: LMAO
Pic Colo: your point?
Klavier Gavin: Do better <3
Vivian Fastisse: Ok so the gig 🎤
Vivian Fastisse: Sunshine Coliseum ☀️
Vivian Fastisse: July 7th
Klavier Gavin: Oh no
Klavier Gavin: No no no
Pic Colo: klavier gavin diva moments
Klavier Gavin: Nein do you not remember
Claire Inett: OH SHIT IT WAS THE LETTUCE GUY MURDER
Claire Inett: PIC THAT WAS DARYAN’S LITTLE VIOLENT SPELL
Klavier Gavin: Also my guitar caught alight
Claire Inett: that too
Pic Colo: im ngl i forget dates
Pic Colo: but shiiiit
Pic Colo: vivi did you do that deliberately
Vivian Fastisse: No why would I do that I forgot 😵💫
Pic Colo: liar
Vivian Fastisse: Believe what you like 😘
Klavier Gavin: It’s not going to “reprogram the day” for me Viv, I’m just gonna play like shit
Vivian Fastisse: Well it’s booked 📚
Klavier Gavin: The day I am free of you is the day I will rejoice
Claire Inett: metal
Claire Inett: i guess we’ll do it
Pic Colo: i guess
Pic Colo: this is really not cool tho viv
Pic Colo: next thing we know you book a gig on the day klav’s brother got convicted
Pic Colo: or the day my dad died
Pic Colo: or the day our friend murdered someone OH WAIT YOU ALREADY HAVE
Vivian Fastisse: My bad ❌
Klavier Gavin: Booking an appointment with my therapist and charging it to the band’s account
Claire Inett: you know what fuck yeah
Groupchat: of course you didn't have a good childhood look at you you're a prosecutor
Klavier Gavin: I miss Lil’ Crime
Sebby Debby: REAL
Lally Callabichi: i love lil’ crime
Diego Armando: That thing single-handedly got Payne through his divorce
Miles Edgeworth: Found out his daughter knows mine today
Diego Armando: Nice
Franny: We are in the same hotel why are we texting each other
Yuta: So true we should have a slumber party
Sebby Debby: YES
Simon Blackquill: I cannot imagine anything worse
Klavier Gavin: Tbf he is the only one with experience sleeping with Nahyuta
Simon Blackquill: HFJKSHF
Simon Blackquill: Good response
Klavier Gavin: Danke
Miles Edgeworth: I think Lil’ Crime is getting lonely
Miles Edgeworth: There’s not enough prosecutors with problems nowadays
Sebby Debby: Honestly true
Sebby Debby: Half of us were going through unhinged situationships and parental trauma that we’ve sort of recovered from
Lally Callabichi: have you
Lally Callabichi: you told me you were sorry for existing in the airport because you dropped your passport
Sebby Debby: Good point
Sebby Debby: Maybe it just feels kinda weird to be talking to a snail at 28 years old
Miles Edgeworth: Jesus Christ you’re not 28 are you
Sebby Debby: Yeah
Miles Edgeworth: I feel ancient
Franny: You’re 39 you’ll get over it
Franny: Right before you end up in the grave
Miles Edgeworth: What room number are you
Franny: 15
Franny: Why?
Franny: SCHEISSE ER IST HIER RETTE MICH
Klavier Gavin: Suffer
Diego Armando: I have a request
Lally Callabichi: yeah?
Diego Armando: Can we go to bed
Yuta: Why
Diego Armando: I’m so tired
Simon Blackquill: He’s got a point
Lally Callabichi: put your phone on silent
Diego Armando: I don’t know how to do that
Lally Callabichi: are you serious
Lally Callabichi: is this an actual problem or is this weaponised incompetence, discuss
Diego Armando: Don’t be so mean to me I literally can’t see
Yuta: Channelling your dead girlfriend just to feel something
Diego Armando: You can’t do that
Yuta: And what if I could
Diego Armando: Mia has been lying to me and refusing to teach me how to spirit channel
Yuta: What
Diego Armando: Well I asked a long time ago
Diego Armando: I don’t care now
Yuta: … Hold on I’m confused
Diego Armando: How
Yuta: Do the Feys believe only women can spirit channel?
Diego Armando: Yeah
Diego Armando: Is that not right?
Yuta: To be fair, I’ve never tried
Yuta: Maybe I should
Diego Armando: Maybe the spirits would let you because you’re non-binary
Yuta: Reverse bigotry
Diego Armando: Hell yeah
Diego Armando: I’m gonna ask actually I have Feys on standby
Yuta: The fuck does that mean
Miles Edgeworth: He’s in the Fey family groupchat
Franny: You’re not special
Miles Edgeworth: Come out of the bathroom I’ve put the pillow down I promise
Franny: I don’t believe you
Franny: Fotze
Klavier Gavin: Woah strong words tonight
Groupchat: Fey Family Fuckery
Diego Armando: Hello all
Maya Fey: sup
Diego Armando: I’ve got a question
Maya Fey: shoot
Iris Fey: Don’t encourage him
Diego Armando: It was a knife remember
Iris Fey: Not really
Diego Armando: Anyway I need to ask you all something about spirit channeling
Maya Fey: what about it bestie
Pearl Fey: Do we need Mia?
Diego Armando: No I already asked her this like 15 years ago
Diego Armando: Can those born as boys learn the Kurain Spirit Channeling Technique
Maya Fey: no
Pearl Fey: Nope
Iris Fey: Not according to Sister Bikini
Diego Armando: How sure are you?
Maya Fey: idk why
Diego Armando: Because according to Nahyuta, this is not the case in Khura’in?
Maya Fey: bro we got our technique from khura’in
Maya Fey: is that not the reason it’s a matriarchy?
Diego Armando: I honestly do not know
Diego Armando: They apparently have never tried, but Yuta wants to see if they’ve found a loophole
Maya Fey: their mom could do it i know that much
Maya Fey: maybe they could
Maya Fey: i don’t think we’ve ever taught anyone who wasn’t a girl so
Pearl Fey: It would be really intresting if it did work
Maya Fey: we are discovering new things every day
Pearl Fey: Like my overtrained I see dead people problem
Iris Fey: True…
Iris Fey: Maybe we should run a class for the sons new to the village?
Pearl Fey: Oh yeah!
Pearl Fey: Maybe it will stop that new guy leeving his wife
Pearl Fey: Kimi doesn’t deserv that
Maya Fey: exactly
Maya Fey: and i can do whatever the fuck i want because i’m the master
Diego Armando: Exactly
Franny: Help
Maya Fey: you good?
Franny: I’m in a pillow fight with a fully grown man
Maya Fey: edgeworth????
Franny: Ja
Franny: Hilfemich.mp4
It’s a voice recording of panicked German, screeching and violent tousling.
Maya Fey: jeez what did you do
Franny: Calle dhim odl
Maya Fey: huh
Franny: Called him old
Maya Fey: lol??
Franny: He is old I don’t regret it
Franny: And he’s back
Maya Fey: welp good luck honey
Groupchat: of course you didn't have a good childhood look at you you're a prosecutor
Diego Armando: Results are inconclusive
Diego Armando: Apparently they have never taught someone who wasn’t a girl
Yuta: Huh
Yuta: Coming to Kurain village to learn fr
Diego Armando: Maya said she will start running classes
Diego Armando: Although I have no idea how you can be taught spirit channeling
Lally Callabichi: it’s mad to me how easily you guys accept this is possible
Diego Armando: Well when you’ve seen it it’s kind of hard to say it isn’t
Miles Edgeworth: I tried to for a while
Diego Armando: Aren’t you busy attacking your sister
Miles Edgeworth: Yes
Miles Edgeworth: I can multitask
Franny: God fprbdi women fo anythign
Diego Armando: Ah
Lally Callabichi: did mia like tell you what’s the story there
Diego Armando: Pretty much yeah
Diego Armando: It was during a case where we were stuck for leads and she said something along the lines of “what if I just channel the victim and you ask him” and I went “what”
Diego Armando: She then realised she hadn’t told me she could do that and gave me a basic explanation
Diego Armando: I suddenly thought I was dating a madwoman
Lally Callabichi: as you would
Diego Armando: And then she was like “you don’t believe me” I said “Do you blame me”
Diego Armando: Then she grabbed the autopsy out of my hand, led me to a secluded corner and channeled him
Diego Armando: Couldn’t really dispute that then, her entire appearance changed
Lally Callabichi: their entire appearance changes???
Diego Armando: Yeah
Diego Armando: Very noticeable when it’s someone you’ve known for a while
Lally Callabichi: that’s insane
Diego Armando: Yeah lowkey
Diego Armando: Anyway can we actually go to bed now
Lally Callabichi: what room are you
Diego Armando: 10
Lally Callabichi: aight im coming to tell you how to work your fucking phone
Diego Armando: Thank you
Groupchat: Detective, Detective
Mike Meekins: Where is everyone?
Ella Feckles: My prosecutor is in England I’m literally at my desk with nothing to do
Maggey Gumshoe: Feeding my children
Maggey Gumshoe: Twins and the snail
Maggey Gumshoe: But I can be on the floor in a minute?
Mike Meekins: Good
Ema Skye: lab
Mike Meekins: Floor now
Ema Skye: jesus ok
Mike Meekins: Chief?
Dick Gumshoe: Coming up now, what’s the problem?
Mike Meekins: Concerning letters
Ella Feckles: From who?
Mike Meekins: One of the inmates
Mike Meekins: I think he may be trying to frame someone for a murder that hasn’t happened yet
Dick Gumshoe: I’m coming up faster
Maggey Gumshoe: Which inmate?
Maggey Gumshoe: How seriously are we taking this?
Mike Meekins: Seriously
Mike Meekins: It’s Kristoph Gavin
Private chat between The Fop and Ema Skye
Ema Skye: hey klav
Klavier Gavin: Hmm?
Ema Skye: situation
Klavier Gavin: What do you mean?
Klavier Gavin: I have to be awake in 5 hours for court
Ema Skye: you’re gonna wanna hear this
Ema Skye: it’s about your brother
Ema Skye started a call that lasted 17 minutes.
Klavier Gavin: Keep me updated
Ema Skye: ofc
Private chat between Phoenix Wright and Nathan Wright
Nathan Wright: Hello Phoenix, I truly apologise for the late reply, I had no idea how to respond to this message at first. I typed up several explanations, several excuses, lots of complicated apologies, but I think I should start more simply than that.
Nathan Wright: You are correct, I do believe you have the right Nathan Wright, although I am surprised you managed to find my number.
Nathan Wright: First and foremost, I am sorry.
Nathan Wright: I was a much younger man, terrified of responsibility and so worried about the little life I had created.
Nathan Wright: It’s not enough, it will never be enough, but that’s the truth.
Nathan Wright: I have
Nathan Wright: I have been following your career and even though we don’t know each other, I’m still proud of you.
Nathan Wright: I don’t ask for forgiveness, I don’t ask for anything, what was your plan in contacting me?
These messages have been opened but not responded to.
Groupchat: Miles and Phoenix's chat for the archival of anything interesting
Phoenix Wright: Screenshot.jpg
It’s the conversation you’ve just read
Phoenix Wright: I know you’re asleep love, but here’s what he’s said
Phoenix Wright: I have no idea how to respond to this
Phoenix Wright: Sleep well, I’ll speak to you in the morning
Groupchat: why am I the only one popping their pussy right now -mia fey, posthumously
Athena Cykes: hey mr wright
Athena Cykes: are u good
Athena Cykes: you sound awful
Phoenix Wright: Nathan replied
Athena Cykes: oh shit
Phoenix Wright: I don’t know what to say and I keep just rereading the messages
Phoenix Wright: Sorry if it’s loud
Athena Cykes: no it’s totally chill
Athena Cykes: how about you put your phone away and come look at this case until closing?
Phoenix Wright: Sure
Athena Cykes: thank fuck i actually really need your help lol
Notes:
also i made an ace attorney video essay on my youtube channel go watch it if you want (https://youtu.be/sMBXTXnItTo)
Chapter 4: Crisis
Notes:
hi
so this is like the easiest thing to write and im back in my ace attorney hyperfixation soooo yeah
enjoy!
Chapter Text
Groupchat: Miles and Phoenix's chat for the archival of anything interesting
Miles Edgeworth: Hmm.
Miles Edgeworth: Well that’s an interesting response
Miles Edgeworth: I appreciate the apology I suppose but everything else makes me raise an eyebrow
Miles Edgeworth: Though at least he seems responsible enough to know how he’s impacted you
Miles Edgeworth: I know you’re asleep so I won’t spam you too much but call me when you wake up dear and we can formulate a response
Miles Edgeworth: I love you, have a good day
Groupchat: why am I the only one popping their pussy right now -mia fey, posthumously
Trucy Wright: ATHENA WHERE ARE YOU
Athena Cykes: dude im in the defense lobby where you’re meant to be
Trucy Wright: WHICH ONE
Trucy Wright: I TIHNK IM ON THE WRONG FLOOR
Athena Cykes: what
Athena Cykes: we have like 10 minutes you can get here
Trucy Wright: THENA SOMEBODY IS DEAD UP HERE
Athena Cykes: HUH
Trucy Wright: I DON’T KNOW MAN I JUST TURNED UP AND THERE’S POLICE TAPE AND GUMMY IS TELLING ME SOMEBODY DIED ON THE STAND
Maya Fey: oh shit that’s like mia’s first trial
Maya Fey: who’s there?
Trucy Wright: The ginger one from ELO and like one of those nothingburger prosecutors
Trucy Wright: He’s dressed like a knob
Apollo Justice: You need to stop spending time talking to British people
Trucy Wright: I like Katri though
Athena Cykes: RIGHT
Athena Cykes: are you being held as a witness???
Trucy Wright: I don’t think so???
Trucy Wright: Gumshoe says I have nothing to do with it thank fuck
Trucy Wright: Don’t wanna be arrested again
Athena Cykes: based
Athena Cykes: we’re in courtroom 4
Trucy Wright: Yeah I am on the wrong floor
Trucy Wright: Whack for 7 in the morning
Athena Cykes: jesus what did this guy do like just come into court and immediately chug poison
Trucy Wright: Lowkey sounds like it
Phoenix Wright: Yoooo that was almost me in 2013
Trucy Wright: Not a nice thought!
Phoenix Wright: Sorry I just woke up
Apollo Justice: You should be at the office
Phoenix Wright: In my defense I am agonising over these messages from Nathan
Apollo Justice: A man is dead
Phoenix Wright: Yeah and I have bigger problems
Pearl Fey: Do you guys ever think we are desencitized to murder
Phoenix Wright: Prolly
Phoenix Wright: Something about walking in on your mentor dying on the floor does that to a man
Maya Fey: even worse when it’s your sister
Maya Fey: and then you get arrested for it
Phoenix Wright: And then I get arrested for it
Maya Fey: yeah 2016 was a normal year
Maya Fey: i forget edgeworth tried to pin it on you
Phoenix Wright: I try to forget
Trucy Wright: Can’t lie I think I have seen too many dead bodies to be 19
Apollo Justice: “Average bodies seen by 19 year olds is 3” factoid actually just statistical error, Bodies Georg, known to some as Trucy Wright, who assists attorneys regularly and follows trails of blood for fun, who has seen about 10 at this point is an outlier and should not have been counted
Trucy Wright: KHFSJHSHFJHS
Trucy Wright: Apollo sometimes you can be really funny
Apollo Justice: S-
Apollo Justice: SOMETIMES????
Phoenix Wright: Guys do you think I’ve failed as a parent
Trucy Wright: Noooo don’t be silly
Phoenix Wright: I feel like I should have protected you from being Bodies Georg
Trucy Wright: I’d rather be Bodies Georg than Boring Georg
Phoenix Wright: Ok as long as you’re not like
Phoenix Wright: Psychologically fucked
Trucy Wright: Probably but who here isn’t
Pearl Fey: She’s got a point
Phoenix Wright: …
Phoenix Wright: Yeah.
Maya Fey: would you still be a lawyer if my half-cousin hadn’t framed you for murder discuss
Phoenix Wright: Yes
Phoenix Wright: I had already transferred programs
Apollo Justice: Yeah because you saw Mr Edgeworth sad in a newspaper
Phoenix Wright: OBJECTION
Phoenix Wright: THERE’S MORE TO IT THAN THAT
Apollo Justice: The class trial yeah I fucking know
Phoenix Wright: Have I told you that before??
Apollo Justice: I think so
Apollo Justice: Yeah you definitely have haha
Athena Cykes: why are you acting suspicious
Trucy Wright: Why do you have tells over text
Apollo Justice: Fuck you
Phoenix Wright: Kids be nice
Phoenix Wright: It’s natural that Apollo knows so much about me he just looks up to me so much
Maya Fey: YOU FUCKING WISH
Apollo Justice: …
Apollo Justice: I mean
Apollo Justice: That is. That’s kinda why
Phoenix Wright: 🥺
Phoenix Wright: I was joking omg do you actually
Apollo Justice: Well.
Apollo Justice: I mean up until I punched you square in the face yeah
Phoenix Wright: Yeah ok that’s so valid actually
Apollo Justice: You were really cool until you made me present forged evidence
Athena Cykes: i forget that happened
Apollo Justice: I mean you weren’t here for Phoenix’s mysterious phase
Trucy Wright: His emo phase
Phoenix Wright: Yeah I have a lot of regrets
Apollo Justice: It’s chill I forgave you
Apollo Justice: However you lost my idolism from that point on
Apollo Justice: Now you’re just some guy who makes me clean the toilet
Phoenix Wright: Ouch man
Apollo Justice: And like
Apollo Justice: The father of my sister
Phoenix Wright: I see
Phoenix Wright: Yeah it was not my finest moment
Phoenix Wright: Next time I need to enact revenge on your boyfriend’s brother I’ll like just kill him or something
Trucy Wright: You had many opportunities
Trucy Wright: Every time he came round to dinner I was like
Trucy Wright: This is it
Trucy Wright: Now he’s gonna snap
Phoenix Wright: Honestly yeah 😭
Athena Cykes: why did you have him round to dinner
Phoenix Wright: Keep your friends close and your enemies closer idk
Trucy Wright: You didn’t have to sleep with him about it though
Phoenix Wright: …
Phoenix Wright: Let's not talk about that
Athena Cykes: YOU FUCKING WHAT
Apollo Justice: EXCUSE ME
Phoenix Wright: Betcha didn’t know that huh
Phoenix Wright: The knower
Apollo Justice: I am actually speechless
Trucy Wright: First time for everything
Apollo Justice: Bitch
Phoenix Wright: Listen
Phoenix Wright: There were complex psychological mind games going on there
Phoenix Wright: And he was hot
Apollo Justice: To be fair
Apollo Justice: No
Apollo Justice: I’m not thinking about this
Trucy Wright: Well you are fucking his brother
Phoenix Wright: Just hope that one doesn’t try and frame you for murder
Maya Fey: you did not bring him up when we were talking exes the other day
Phoenix Wright: He doesn’t count
Maya Fey: why nick
Phoenix Wright: That was not a relationship
Phoenix Wright: That was power play
Trucy Wright: And I have heard too much
Trucy Wright: Did you know I used to put my pillow over my head when he came round
Trucy Wright: Did you know one day I forgot
Phoenix Wright: I’m so sorry
Trucy Wright: You better be.
Trucy Wright: I was 13.
Phoenix Wright: I repeat
Phoenix Wright: I am so sorry
Maya Fey: lessons learnt today: never trust a blonde man
Apollo Justice: HEY
Maya Fey: never trust a blonde man unless it’s klavier gavin
Phoenix Wright: Mmmmm
Maya Fey: never trust a blonde man unless it’s klavier gavin and he’s not 17 and you’re not phoenix wright
Apollo Justice: Would it help if I told you he’s not a natural blonde
Trucy Wright: WHAT
Groupchat: Miles and Phoenix's chat for the archival of anything interesting
Phoenix Wright: Good morning
Phoenix Wright: Sorry I’m late up you’re probably in court by now
Phoenix Wright: But yeah I got nothing
Phoenix Wright: Also I think Apollo lowkey does not respect me and I’m sad about it
Miles Edgeworth: It's recess
Miles Edgeworth: However I also have nothing so I will let you know if I think of anything you can say to him
Miles Edgeworth: Why don’t you think Apollo respects you?
Phoenix Wright: Ehhhh
Phoenix Wright: I learnt today that he used to consider me his idol (which like fucking hell can’t be doing that too much of a mess)
Phoenix Wright: And then that all went out the window after the whole his first trial situation
Phoenix Wright: Which is totally fair
Phoenix Wright: Like I fully admit I used that kid to fuel my petty revenge plot
Phoenix Wright: But like
Phoenix Wright: I dunno
Miles Edgeworth: I see
Miles Edgeworth: Yes that makes sense
Miles Edgeworth: I don’t really think you can come back from that in the way you want Nicky
Phoenix Wright: Wdym
Miles Edgeworth: Well he’s met his idol and he doesn’t really live up to everything he built up in his head
Miles Edgeworth: That’s life
Phoenix Wright: He respects you
Miles Edgeworth: I don’t talk to him as much
Miles Edgeworth: I’m not as much of a person
Phoenix Wright: You’re also just like a better lawyer
Miles Edgeworth: Liar
Phoenix Wright: Dude I bluff my way through
Miles Edgeworth: And it’s a perfectly valid strategy
Miles Edgeworth: You didn’t adhere to von Karma perfection at all costs for half of your practice
Phoenix Wright: Yes because I was disbarred longer than I’ve practiced
Miles Edgeworth: This is a pointless train of thought
Miles Edgeworth: The point is you are worthy of respect
Miles Edgeworth: And Apollo might not give you that, but look around you
Miles Edgeworth: Athena, Trucy, Maya, Pearl
Miles Edgeworth: Me.
Miles Edgeworth: We all look up to you
Miles Edgeworth: Hell you saved most of us
Miles Edgeworth: Get your head out of your ass
Phoenix Wright: I
Phoenix Wright: Ok
Phoenix Wright: I think I needed to hear that
Miles Edgeworth: That being said Apollo is completely right, you did use him for a petty revenge plot against a truly despicable man I hate thinking about for many reasons but a person has to own their mistakes
Phoenix Wright: Yeah
Phoenix Wright: Like you do
Miles Edgeworth: Well not exactly but
Miles Edgeworth: No yes that is basically what I mean
Miles Edgeworth: Be like me 🧚
Phoenix Wright: Like Nathan is trying to do
Miles Edgeworth: And failing because it still seems like he’s finding excuses
Phoenix Wright: But no
Phoenix Wright: Well yes he is
Phoenix Wright: But you can’t expect perfect communication immediately
Phoenix Wright: I think I know how to approach this
Miles Edgeworth: Yes?
Phoenix Wright: We need to meet in person
Phoenix Wright: That’s the only way I’m gonna be able to get through to him properly
Miles Edgeworth: I think you may be right
Private chat between Phoenix Wright and Nathan Wright
Phoenix Wright: Hi Nathan, don’t worry about the lateness of it. At the time, I was annoyed, but then you messaged me and I had a crisis for like 12 hours straight, it makes sense. I understand what you’re saying, but I think we should meet in person to talk about it properly. I honestly contacted you because I wanted answers, I wanted to know who you were and why I exist. The best way to do this would be to get to know each other without the barrier of miscommunication that messaging brings. When are you free? Or in LA actually.
Nathan Wright: I see. I am in LA at the moment, does Saturday afternoon work for you?
Phoenix Wright: I think so, provided nobody I know gets accused of murder.
Phoenix Wright: Hey, if it goes well, I could introduce you to your granddaughter?
Nathan Wright: I would love that.
Groupchat: Miles and Phoenix's chat for the archival of anything interesting
Phoenix Wright: Screenshot.jpg
Guess. It’s the conversation we just read congratulations
Phoenix Wright: SUCCESS
Miles Edgeworth: Fantastic!
Phoenix Wright: …
Miles Edgeworth: What?
Phoenix Wright: You knew that was how you could get me to respond didn’t you
Miles Edgeworth: Knowing you as well as I do has its perks
Phoenix Wright: Bastard <3
Miles Edgeworth: Love you too
Miles Edgeworth: Now, if you excuse me, I have to go convict a train robber
Phoenix Wright: What
Miles Edgeworth: You heard
Phoenix Wright: Yeah ok
Phoenix Wright: Good luck!
Miles Edgeworth: Thank you <3
Groupchat: holy shit my mozzarella sticks are here -ray shields, 4 am
Ollie Lone: is anyone busy
Laura Williams: Nope
Ollie Lone: is anyone else busy
Ollie Lone: ray?
Ollie Lone: RAY??
Laura Williams: He’s not here
Ollie Lone: shit
Laura Williams: What’s up? You sound panicked?
Ollie Lone: i am
Ollie Lone: im fucked
Ollie Lone: laura im fucked
Laura Williams: What? Why? What’s going on?
Ollie Lone: i
Ollie Lone: i just
Ollie Lone: my defendant
Laura Williams: What about him?
Ollie Lone: he just died
Laura Williams: Huh???
Ollie Lone: like on the stand he just
Ollie Lone: just
Ollie Lone: there was poison
Ollie Lone: i don’t know how he got it but
Ollie Lone: it might have been in the evidence i don’t know im
Laura Williams: Ok, right, deep breaths
Ollie Lone: don’t do that
Ollie Lone: i can’t do fucking meditative exercises when im about to be arrested for murder!!!!
Laura Williams: Oh SHIT
Laura Williams: WHY DIDN’T YOU OPEN WITH THAT????
Ollie Lone: IM A BIT FUCKING BUSY???
Laura Williams: Ok, sit tight, I’m coming to the DC
Ollie Lone: huh?
Ollie Lone: but
Laura Williams: I’m defending you
Laura Williams: Listen sweetie you’re the kinda person that could piss off the Pope, God rest his soul, but you’re still my friend
Laura Williams: And I ain’t letting you be declared guilty when you’re innocent!
Ollie Lone: i
Ollie Lone: thank you
Laura Williams: It’s my job
Laura Williams: On my way
Groupchat: of course you didn't have a good childhood look at you you're a prosecutor
Winston Payne: There has been a death in the courthouse, thought everyone should know
Miles Edgeworth: Well that’s vague
Miles Edgeworth: Do you have any other information, Prosecutor Payne?
Winston Payne: Not much
Winston Payne: Poison as far as we know
Winston Payne: Defendant on the stand
Winston Payne: A defense attorney has been arrested from the ELO because they don’t think it was suicide
Winston Payne: Or they do but they’re accusing him? I’m not sure
Miles Edgeworth: Who is managing this?
Winston Payne: I think it’s de la Pole
Miles Edgeworth: I was unaware he still worked here
Winston Payne: They had to get some of the retired prosecutors in thanks to the higher ups sending you all to England
Miles Edgeworth: I see
Winston Payne: de la Pole was the prosecutor responsible for the deceased defendant
Miles Edgeworth: Hmm
Miles Edgeworth: Payne, as much as this hurts, please keep an eye on Edmund de la Pole and make sure he conducts this investigation properly
Winston Payne: Yes Chief
Miles Edgeworth: And which attorney from the ELO?
Winston Payne: The ginger one
Miles Edgeworth: Thank you
Lally Callabichi: oh shit ollie???
Winston Payne: Yes, Oliver Lone?
Lally Callabichi: right
Lally Callabichi: yeah that guy talks big talk but he doesn’t have the balls to murder
Lally Callabichi: detective feckles can attest, they grew up together
Winston Payne: Right
Miles Edgeworth: Good luck Prosecutor Payne, we will be home soon
Simon Blackquill: Yeah can’t lie
Simon Blackquill: Taking all of the most competent prosecutors and sending us across the pond was the worst idea upper management has ever had
Miles Edgeworth: Tell me about it
Miles Edgeworth: I will be having words
Diego Armando: I don’t like how familiar this feels
Miles Edgeworth: Yes, I noticed
Diego Armando: Is this a copycat killing?
Miles Edgeworth: Could be
Miles Edgeworth: I can’t think of anyone still alive that has a vendetta about the Terry Fawles case
Miles Edgeworth: Well apart from us
Diego Armando: And I’ve done my time and you’re not a killer
Miles Edgeworth: And also we’re in England
Diego Armando: Good point
Miles Edgeworth: Gant got the death penalty
Miles Edgeworth: Mia was murdered
Miles Edgeworth: You
Miles Edgeworth: Me
Miles Edgeworth: Fawles died
Miles Edgeworth: Dahlia got the death penalty
Miles Edgeworth: There’s nobody else involved
Winston Payne: Perhaps we need to wait for new information?
Miles Edgeworth: That seems counterproductive but likely the best course of action
Diego Armando: Breaking news Payne comes up with a good idea
Miles Edgeworth: Is Gumshoe on the case?
Winston Payne: Yes
Miles Edgeworth: Good
Private chat between Dick Gumshoe and Miles Edgeworth
Miles Edgeworth: Chief Gumshoe?
Dick Gumshoe: Bit busy pal!
Miles Edgeworth: I know, I’ve heard
Dick Gumshoe: About the courtroom murder?
Miles Edgeworth: Yes
Miles Edgeworth: It’s concerning to me
Miles Edgeworth: I think this has a genuine possibility of being a copycat killer
Miles Edgeworth: I want you to go over recent cases and convictions with a fine tooth comb
Miles Edgeworth: Anything that resembles any other case related to me, Armando, Fey, Gant or hell, even Wright needs to be flagged up on the system
Dick Gumshoe: Yes sir!
Miles Edgeworth: Thank you
Miles Edgeworth: Give my kind regards to your wife
Groupchat: holy shit my mozzarella sticks are here -ray shields, 4 am
Ray Shields: Oh
Ray Shields: Oh shit
Ray Shields: That’s why you were calling me
Laura Williams: It’s ok, I’m on it
Miles Edgeworth: You’re up against Prosecutor de la Pole
Laura Williams: Who
Ray Shields: Bro I thought he was dead
Ray Shields: He’s like 70 I swear
Miles Edgeworth: I don’t know, I’ve just heard from Payne
Miles Edgeworth: We think it could be a copycat killing
Laura Williams: I see
Miles Edgeworth: I have set Chief Gumshoe on the case, Payne is keeping an eye on de la Pole because I don’t trust him, ask Gumshoe for results of his sweeping of recent incidents tomorrow
Laura Williams: Why don’t you trust de la Pole?
Miles Edgeworth: He was
Miles Edgeworth: He was trained by the same man as von Karma
Miles Edgeworth: This might be important
Laura Williams: I’ll make a note of it
Laura Williams: Why did they arrest Ollie?
Miles Edgeworth: de la Pole
Laura Williams: Right
Laura Williams: This doesn’t make logical sense
Laura Williams: I need to chess it
Miles Edgeworth: I’m sorry?
Laura Williams: I need to logic chess this
Ray Shields: Basically she’s gonna go stand in the corner and hallucinate chess for a while
Miles Edgeworth: But that’s what I do
Laura Williams: You do???
Miles Edgeworth: Yes
Miles Edgeworth: Where did you learn to do that???
Laura Williams: My Aunt Sophia
Laura Williams: She was a defense attorney
Laura Williams: I mean she died before I was born but she left diaries that my mama got, being sisters and all
Laura Williams: Anyway I ain’t got time for this
Laura Williams: I gotta go hallucinate chess
Private chat between Miles Edgeworth and Ray Shields
Miles Edgeworth: Ray
Miles Edgeworth: Are you thinking what I’m thinking
Ray Shields: That Laura Williams’s Aunt Sophia Williams and your mother Sophia Williams are the same person?
Ray Shields: Yes
Miles Edgeworth: I don’t
Miles Edgeworth: This is a revelation I can’t entertain right now I need to be in court
Miles Edgeworth: But stick a pin in this we are coming back to it
Ray Shields: Aye aye Miles
Groupchat: Miles and Phoenix's chat for the archival of anything interesting
Miles Edgeworth: Screenshot1.jpg
Miles Edgeworth: Screenshot2.jpg
The two conversations we have just read
Miles Edgeworth: No time Nicky just look
Phoenix Wright: OH YOOOOO
Private chat between Apollo Justice and Klavier Gavin
Klavier Gavin: Hi Liebling, just quickly telling you before I go into court that Ema called me last night and told me my brother is trying to frame me for murder inside prison so that’s a thing
Apollo Justice: Are you fucking joking
Klavier Gavin: Nein
Klavier Gavin: I don’t know what to do but I don’t have time to think about it
Apollo Justice: Ok
Apollo Justice: At least the police are aware
Apollo Justice: If he does I’ll defend you you know that
Klavier Gavin: Ja ich kenne
Apollo Justice: Ok just
Apollo Justice: Just stay safe ok?
Klavier Gavin: I’ll try
Apollo Justice: I love you
Klavier Gavin: I love you too
Groupchat: why am I the only one popping their pussy right now -mia fey, posthumously
Athena Cykes: guys why is it so loud
Maya Fey: franny just texted me that she’s winning at therapy
Athena Cykes: what
Maya Fey: i think she got her diagnosis through before edgeworth
Athena Cykes: that’s an insane response to that but ok
Trucy Wright: Favourite fic writer updated
Athena Cykes: so real
Athena Cykes: what fandom
Trucy Wright: SSCU
Phoenix Wright: Miles has just discovered he has one still living relative and I’m meeting Nathan on Saturday
Athena Cykes: love that
Phoenix Wright: Yeah we rock and roll
Apollo Justice: Kristoph is trying to frame Klavier for murder from prison
Athena Cykes: im sorry what
Phoenix Wright: What
Phoenix Wright: Are you joking
Apollo Justice: No
Apollo Justice: I just got texts from Klavier about it
Athena Cykes: shit
Phoenix Wright: Do the police know?
Apollo Justice: Yeah, he heard about it from Ema
Phoenix Wright: Ok. Gotcha
Phoenix Wright: That means he’ll be ok for now
Athena Cykes: yeah, there’s no need to panic
Apollo Justice: What if it escalates?
Apollo Justice: What if Kristoph tries to get him killed?
Apollo Justice: I know that’s a leap but like
Apollo Justice: He could
Phoenix Wright: Ok Apollo, I’m gonna need you to calm down
Athena Cykes: in for 7, hold for 7, out for 11
Apollo Justice: I think I just choked on air
Phoenix Wright: There is a possibility that you are right
Phoenix Wright: He could
Phoenix Wright: He would
Phoenix Wright: However, the police are aware of this now
Phoenix Wright: So they are likely to severely restrict his visitors and crack down on monitoring his mail
Phoenix Wright: As much as this is a scary possibility, it is statistically unlikely to happen
Apollo Justice: Yeah
Apollo Justice: Yeah you’re right
Apollo Justice: Thanks guys
Trucy Wright: Do you want a hug
Apollo Justice: Not really can I have a hi-five
Trucy Wright: Abso-fucking-lutely
Athena Cykes: ok are we normal again
Apollo Justice: As normal as we can be
Apollo Justice: Why?
Athena Cykes: i wanted to talk about lawyer rpf again
Apollo Justice: I ask again
Apollo Justice: Why?
Athena Cykes: because i was scrolling tumblr
Phoenix Wright: As you do
Athena Cykes: and i get this fic recommended to me
Athena Cykes: and it is VERY DETAILED smut
Athena Cykes: and i think i would like to reconsider my stance on this section of the internet
Phoenix Wright: I really don’t wanna ask
Phoenix Wright: But who was it
Athena Cykes: i really didn’t wanna think about your sex life for the second time today mr wright
Athena Cykes: unlike pollo i do in fact look up to you
Phoenix Wright: Oh jesus christ
Athena Cykes: i mean at least its with your husband id take that
Phoenix Wright: You know I will take that as a win
Phoenix Wright: If a bunch of outsiders could see it before we could I’m just gonna say we did a good job
Trucy Wright: Have you forgotten Operation Creeper
Phoenix Wright: Good point
Phoenix Wright: But these people don’t know me
Phoenix Wright: Pass your phone Thena I’m morbidly curious
Apollo Justice: I really wouldn’t if I were you
Trucy Wright: I think I need to go outside more
Trucy Wright: Maybe obaa-san was right and it is that damn phone
Trucy Wright: Brb muting the chat for a while
Pearl Fey: Me too
Phoenix Wright: Good idea girls
Phoenix Wright: Guys
Phoenix Wright: Guys
Phoenix Wright: This is fucking hilarious
Phoenix Wright: 1. It is well written
Phoenix Wright: 2. It makes reference to so many things that whoever wrote this has to be autistic about lawyers which is iconic
Phoenix Wright: 3. They got the dynamic wrong
Athena Cykes: huh
Athena Cykes: i cannot lie i did not expect that
Phoenix Wright: THAT BEING SAID
Phoenix Wright: I am 39 years old I do not have this kind of stamina
Phoenix Wright: And doing half of this shit would put my back out
Apollo Justice: Today has been really informative in a really bad way
Maya Fey: im just glad other people can feel my pain now he’s been oversharing with me for years
Maya Fey: do they really have you riding that thing
Phoenix Wright: Due to the fact my daughter and your cousin are on this chat, I am not answering this
Trucy Wright: pollo has tld me to talk byt
Trucy Wright: I am hald covering my etes
Trucy Wright: Is is safe for me to come back
Apollo Justice: You wrote that quite well for genuinely having your eyes shut
Trucy Wright: Thanks
Phoenix Wright: I’m still not answering this there has to be a line and I have found the line
Trucy Wright: Thank fuck I do not want to know
Private chat between Maya Fey and Phoenix Wright
Phoenix Wright: Yes they did
Maya Fey: KFJGSEHFJHAHAHAAH
Chapter 5: Airports
Notes:
i am working on a serious fic i promise but in the mean time
ridiculous chatfic is easy and makes me happy
i should probably change the summary at some point tho ksjghkjeh
anyway enjoy
Chapter Text
Groupchat: Edgeworth's babysitting operation
Sebby Debby: Where. In the world. Is. Kay Faraday
Kay Faraday: none of your damn business
Dick Gumshoe: You haven’t responded on the Detective chat for like a month
Ema Skye: she’s fine
Kay Faraday: i am on a secret mission™
Sebby Debby: What the fuck does that mean
Shi-Long Lang: Means she’s with me
Kay Faraday: im so cool now seb
Sebby Debby: I
Sebby Debby: Ok
Sebby Debby: Can I know what country my best friend is in or is that secret too
Kay Faraday: ur mom
Sebby Debby: She’s dead Kay
Sebby Debby: My Dad murdered her Kay
Kay Faraday: not sure whether i can laugh at this one chief
Sebby Debby: I’m over it laugh away
Sebby Debby: So… Where are you?
Kay Faraday: italy
Sebby Debby: Nice
Shi-Long Lang: Do not tell him anything else
Sebby Debby: I have had character development
Shi-Long Lang: Don’t care
Sebby Debby: Damn
Sebby Debby: The sins of the father…
Miles Edgeworth: That was far too academic for you
Miles Edgeworth: That’s from Tess of the d’Urbervilles
Sebby Debby: Yeah I know
Sebby Debby: I’ve been missing my boyfriend’s aura so I’ve been spending time with Blackquill
Kay Faraday: he’s so fucking funny
Kay Faraday: love that guy
Kay Faraday: why are you using japanese honorifics you’re from manchester
Sebby Debby: No he’s from Stansbury
Kay Faraday: his family is from manchester
Kay Faraday: that’s why he talks like that when he’s tired
Sebby Debby: Wdym
Kay Faraday: i still rem’mber tha furst day in’t pit
Sebby Debby: Baffled
Dick Gumshoe: When do you guys get back from England?
Ema Skye: everything is collapsing around us
Dick Gumshoe: That’s
Dick Gumshoe: Not inaccurate actually
Dick Gumshoe: Like we can manage, we’re not that incompetent but
Ema Skye: but we miss our prosecutors
Kay Faraday: babe there is no way in hell that you’re missing gavin
Ema Skye: unfortunately
Ema Skye: i have grown to tolerate him
Ema Skye: i have come to regard him as a person i have met
Miles Edgeworth: Due to Dwarfposting I am to assume?
Ema Skye: it’s crazy how liking the same obscure show has made me view him as a person and not an inconvenience
Kay Faraday: the power of autism
Miles Edgeworth: Anyway to answer your question, we are, in fact, in an airport
Miles Edgeworth: That is why Sebastian is so bored
Sebby Debby: There is nothing to doooooooo
Ema Skye: text hugh idfk
Sebby Debby: He’s busyyyyyyy
Kay Faraday: ur at heathrow right
Sebby Debby: Probably
Sebby Debby: I don’t listen when they talk to me
Sebby Debby: I just follow and hope I don’t end up in Slough again
Miles Edgeworth: You probably wouldn’t have ended up in Slough if you listened when I speak to you
Sebby Debby: Did anyone else hear the slight fluttering of a cravat
Miles Edgeworth: It is a JABOT
Shi-Long Lang: You piss me off
Miles Edgeworth: Good 🧚
Kay Faraday: not the fairy im askfjhk
Miles Edgeworth: I enjoy the fairy
Kay Faraday: do you
Miles Edgeworth: It makes me feel coquettish
Kay Faraday: im losing my mind
Kay Faraday: who taught you this
Miles Edgeworth: I was told to have a Brat Girl Summer and I am complying
Kay Faraday changed the groupchat name to “BRATWORTH SUMMER”
Ema Skye: jesus christ
Kay Faraday: im howling
Shi-Long Lang: That’s my job
Ema Skye: you ever worry you take it too far lang
Shi-Long Lang: No
Franny: OH ITS THIS CHAT
Franny: We have so many I wasn’t sure where the notifications were coming from
Franny: Little Brother I am not sure you understand what Emmy Altava was telling you
Miles Edgeworth: Contrary to popular belief I am not ignorant to the wider culture of the internet
Miles Edgeworth: I simply choose not to engage
Miles Edgeworth: But now I am
Miles Edgeworth: I will have a Brat Girl Summer
Kay Faraday: god help us
Ema Skye: im very certain that few activities classified under bgs (brat girl summer) are 1. legal 2. something you would enjoy 3. something the chief prosecutor of la should be seen doing
Miles Edgeworth: Emmy says that it’s the mind set that matters
Franny: I am like 80% sure he’s messing with us
Kay Faraday: yeah tbh
Kay Faraday: chief prosecutor miles edgeworth would never be on drugs
Miles Edgeworth: I could be on drugs
Shi-Long Lang: There are days I think you are
Miles Edgeworth: I could use some to cope with our current crisis
Dick Gumshoe: Things are Happening™
Dick Gumshoe: Oh actually Lang
Shi-Long Lang: That’s me
Dick Gumshoe: Got some information on de Killer for you
Dick Gumshoe: I’ll email it over
Shi-Long Lang: Hell yeah
Miles Edgeworth: What about de Killer?
Miles Edgeworth: Has he something to do with the courtroom murder?
Kay Faraday: there was a courtroom murder?
Ema Skye: you need to unmute detective detective this is actually lowkey important
Kay Faraday: oh fuck ok
Dick Gumshoe: Please do
Dick Gumshoe: And no, this is to do with our attempted murder from behind bars
Miles Edgeworth: Ah.
Miles Edgeworth: Him.
Franny: He says through barely concealed rage
Dick Gumshoe: Yeah
Dick Gumshoe: We intercepted his mail and think we have an address for either de Killer or some other assassin
Shi-Long Lang: Gimme
Dick Gumshoe: Already sent
Kay Faraday: who is this
Kay Faraday: im trying to backread but the chat is filled with meekins freaking out about the guy killing himself on the stand
Kay Faraday: also it sounds like it’s lowkey de la pole’s fault
Dick Gumshoe: We think so too we’re just not voicing it
Dick Gumshoe: High Prosecutor and all that
Miles Edgeworth: Can we go one year without a scandal
Sebby Debby: Can you stop hiring murderers
Miles Edgeworth: I DIDN’T HIRE HIM????
Miles Edgeworth: I HAVEN’T HIRED ANY MURDERERS???
Franny: Diego???
Miles Edgeworth: He doesn’t count I rehired him
Miles Edgeworth: Sebastian’s father hired all the murderers
Sebby Debby: And Lana
Miles Edgeworth: Yes but Lana is forgiven as she was completely under the control of Gant
Dick Gumshoe: Gant…
Dick Gumshoe: I haven’t heard that name in years…
Dick Gumshoe: I don’t hate
Dick Gumshoe: But.
Ema Skye: i do
Ema Skye: im a hater
Ema Skye: i hope he died painfully and slowly
Ema Skye: to this day i recoil whenever anyone asks if i want to go swimming
Kay Faraday: can someone please tell me who’s trying to murder someone from prison
Ema Skye: let's have a think about edgeworth’s response
Ema Skye: who can edgeworth genuinely not stand
Kay Faraday: the list is long
Ema Skye: no like
Ema Skye: not irritated by
Ema Skye: cannot stand
Kay Faraday: oldbag
Miles Edgeworth: DO NOT EVEN JOKE
Miles Edgeworth: EVERY TIME I THINK I’M FREE
Miles Edgeworth: EVERY TIME I THINK SHE’S FINALLY DEAD
Miles Edgeworth: SHE’S BACK.
Kay Faraday: kjfhejkfkjhfe
Kay Faraday: oh edgy-poo why are you cheating on me
Miles Edgeworth: She has yet to see me with my husband
Miles Edgeworth: I do not know what she would do
Miles Edgeworth: I’m scared of her
Franny: Carry a whip
Miles Edgeworth: I fear she may not take that as a sign to back off
Kay Faraday: anyway that was a joke answer
Kay Faraday: i still have no idea
Ema Skye: like who makes his skin crawl out of genuine jealousy
Kay Faraday: OH KRISTOPH
Miles Edgeworth: I’m not jealous of Kristoph
Ema Skye: not anymore
Ema Skye: bro i knew you in 2023
Ema Skye: i brought it up once and you clenched a pencil so hard it broke
Ema Skye: you guys weren’t even together then
Kay Faraday: and another time you went on a tirade about how his court shoes are stupid
Miles Edgeworth: Well they are
Miles Edgeworth: Nobody wears white loafers
Miles Edgeworth: I’m still not jealous of Kristoph
Franny: Oh no not at all
Franny: You just get uncomfortable the moment he is brought up
Franny: And get frustrated that you cannot bring up any of the bitches you never got as a retort
Miles Edgeworth: Because I am not that petty
Franny: You don’t have any
Miles Edgeworth: I have exes.
Shi-Long Lang: He does
Dick Gumshoe: He does
Miles Edgeworth: I don’t want to talk about this
Miles Edgeworth: But yes Kristoph is attempting to frame his brother for an assassination from prison
Miles Edgeworth: Well it’s not like it’s actually going to happen
Miles Edgeworth: Maybe in some other universe where our communication isn’t as excellent as it is it would but not this one
Ema Skye: hate to be in that universe
Kay Faraday: that’s crazy tho he’s like actually not normal
Sebby Debby: Yeah
Sebby Debby: I mean have you watched that 2026 trial
Sebby Debby: He’s scary
Sebby Debby: And I have my father to compare him to
Dick Gumshoe: Yeah
Dick Gumshoe: But hey
Dick Gumshoe: More information about de Killer!
Miles Edgeworth: Always helpful to be fair
Kay Faraday: i lowkey feel like if we were nice enough to de killer he’d probably turn himself in
Kay Faraday: dude has principles i can respect that
Kay Faraday: as one criminal to another
Sebby Debby: I don’t think you’ve ever actually broken the law
Kay Faraday: what do you know weather boy
Private chat between Franziska von Karma and Maya Fey
Maya Fey: ok
Maya Fey: i know im meant to be sorting out flowers for our wedding
Maya Fey: but i have to let you know im being inconvenienced from beyond the grave
Franny: I dread to think what you mean by this
Maya Fey: you know how i feel the spirits
Maya Fey: i feel what they want
Maya Fey: mia, i am certain it’s mia, is filling me with the desperate desire to make a VERY SPECIFIC meme
Franny: I
Franny: I don’t
Franny: Really?
Maya Fey: yeah.
Maya Fey changed their nickname to Mia Fey
Mia Fey: I have to get this out there Fran
Franny: What do you mean??? 😭😭😭
Mia Fey: I gotta
Mia Fey: Listen if I wasn’t murdered in 2016 I would be the best shitposter
Mia Fey: Unfortunately Redd White wasn’t privy to this information
Mia Fey: I gotta do it
Franny: You know what I rate this
Franny: Make the meme we can do flowers at another time
Mia Fey: Thank you you’re my favorite sister-in-law
Franny: I am your only sister-in-law Mia Fey but thank you anyway
Mia Fey: aweightoffmyshoulder.jpg
It’s the ‘I miss my wife Tails’ meme except Mia’s obituary photo is edited over Eggman, Diego’s mugshot is ambiguously floating around like tumblr quote posts do and Maya’s mugshot is edited over Tails. The wife part of the meme is not changed.
Mia Fey: There
Franny: I’m
Franny: Excellent work Mia Fey
Mia Fey: Thank you
Mia Fey: Make sure she sends it to Diego
Franny: Will do
Mia Fey changed their nickname to Maya Fey
Maya Fey: FOR FUCKS SAKE
Maya Fey: THAT’S WHY I HAD TO STOP ORDERING FLOWERS
Maya Fey: FOR THAT ?????
Franny: KJHFHWHFK
Franny: In her defense
Franny: I did laugh
Maya Fey: it is funny but like fuck me
Maya Fey: i was busy 😭
Franny: She also demands you send it to Diego Armando right this second
Maya Fey: “oh your sister is dead that’s so sad”
Maya Fey: no it isn’t
Maya Fey: somehow she annoys me from beyond the grave
Franny: Well technically she is the little sister now
Maya Fey: SHIT
Maya Fey: I DIDN’T EVEN REALISE
Maya Fey: I’VE OUTLIVED MY SISTER.
Franny: …And how do we feel about this?
Maya Fey: BAD.
Maya Fey: IM TURNING 30 THIS YEAR
Maya Fey: I’VE OUTLIVED HER BY THREE YEARS
Franny: Yes
Franny: Sorry for bringing that up
Franny: I don’t know what to say
Maya Fey: ITS FINE IM LIKE OK
Maya Fey: you awkward fucking woman you
Franny: Sorry
Maya Fey: girl i know you
Maya Fey: you’re gonna give me the biggest fucking hug when you see me and you’ll love me so much i’ll be overwhelmed you just can’t articulate it to save your life
Franny: 👍
Maya Fey: it’s just a really weird thing to think about
Maya Fey: coz like
Maya Fey: she is the little sister now
Maya Fey: of course she's annoying me now
Maya Fey: and that’s fucked up
Franny: Fundamentally the universe is tilted on its axis
Maya Fey: yeah like lowkey
Maya Fey: it’s like if one day you woke up and edgeworth was ACTUALLY your little brother
Franny: Hah
Franny: The world would be put to rights
Maya Fey: fhjfhjwhfkj
Maya Fey: real as hell
Maya Fey: anyway crisis over i guess im sending this to diego
Franny: I love how she didn’t even change wife
Maya Fey: diego is the wife in their relationship i think
Franny: Well
Franny: I wouldn’t put it past him
Maya Fey: he does read like the kinda guy to get pegged
Franny: Please do not make me snigger in this airport I don’t want to explain this to Miles Edgeworth
Maya Fey: fjhkhfjkwf
Maya Fey: but its funny
Franny: To be fair
Franny: He is busy researching what a Brat Girl Summer is after committing to the bit ein bisschen too hard
Maya Fey: there is something so funny to me about miles edgeworth and brat girl summer in combination this is not real
Maya Fey: are you fucking with me
Franny: Nein
Franny: idiotbrother.jpg
It is a picture of Miles Edgeworth on a laptop in an airport taken from the seat beside him, he’s squinting at the screen through his glasses where a reddit page is open with the title “What does Brat Girl Summer mean to you?”, he seems to be genuinely focussed on this. Klavier can be seen in the background reading his screen and looking genuinely confused, his phone is held slack in his hands with ‘apple’ shown playing on Spotify.
Maya Fey: im fucking pissing
Maya Fey: this is going in my reaction image folder along with everybody’s mugshots
Franny: I was wondering how Mia grabbed yours so quickly
Maya Fey: maya2016.jpg
It’s Maya’s first mugshot. She looks very distressed, she uses this when appealing for burgers.
Franny: Ja that is you
Maya Fey: maya2017.jpg
It’s Maya’s second mugshot. She looks apathetic.
Franny: I see
Maya Fey: maya2018.jpg
It’s Maya’s third mugshot. There is a rage in her eyes.
Franny: Mhmm
Maya Fey: wait wait i got one more
Franny: Oh good god
Maya Fey: maya2028.jpg
Maya’s fourth and final mugshot. The background is different because it was Khura’in, but Maya is smiling and posing for the camera.
Maya Fey: this is my favorite
Franny: You concern me
Maya Fey: i was so over it
Maya Fey: i knew nick would bail me out
Maya Fey: i had no fear
Franny: I think you are the only one that has such unyielding faith in Phoenix Wright
Maya Fey: well
Maya Fey: he’s done it four times 💀
Franny: At what point do you just take the bar and do it yourself
Maya Fey: never
Maya Fey: when will you defect so you can do it
Franny: If you get arrested one more time I can see myself doing it
Maya Fey: DAMN
Maya Fey: would you actually
Franny: I love being a prosecutor but I think Phoenix Wright would die of a heart attack if you were arrested again
Maya Fey: fjhefhkejhfje
Private chat between Diego Armando and Maya Fey
Maya Fey: hi
Diego Armando: Hello?
Maya Fey: present
Diego Armando: What do you mean?
Maya Fey: its from mia
Maya Fey: aweightoffmyshoulder.jpg
Diego Armando: PSAJHSFHAHAHAHAAHAH
Diego Armando: I love her
Diego Armando: I love her so much
Diego Armando: Tell her I love her
Maya Fey: she’s dead not blind she can read
Diego Armando: True
Diego Armando: Still
Diego Armando: I need her to know
Maya Fey: oh believe me she knows
Diego Armando: Can I get ghost married
Maya Fey: not sure that’s legal bro
Diego Armando: 🙁
Diego Armando: Campaigning for this
Maya Fey: lgbtqia+
Maya Fey: the g stands for ghosts
Diego Armando: For real
Diego Armando: Maya do you think I should learn braille
Maya Fey: you have been practically blind for ten years why do you not know braille
Diego Armando: Because I can see some things
Diego Armando: It’s just like red on a white background
Diego Armando: And like
Diego Armando: A lot of text now actually
Maya Fey: is it getting worse
Diego Armando: Highkey yes
Diego Armando: But I don’t know if it’s because I need to upgrade my visor or not
Maya Fey: well maybe you should go doctors or the engineers or wherever you go for visor maintenance and see what your next steps are
Diego Armando: That would be the smart option
Diego Armando: However I am currently sitting at the airport Starbucks and cannot read their menu
Maya Fey: LMAO OH IM SORRY
Maya Fey: anyone there with you?
Diego Armando: No 🤪
Diego Armando: That’s not the right emoji
Maya Fey: i’ll get my gf to go help
Diego Armando: I just wanted some fucking coffee
Diego Armando: I need to take my meds man
Private chat between Franziska von Karma and Maya Fey
Maya Fey: diego top ten blind moments
Maya Fey: go find him at starbucks he can’t see the menu
Franny: Jesus Christ I am taking him to the doctors when we get home
Franny: Omw
Groupchat: of course you didn't have a good childhood look at you you're a prosecutor
Miles Edgeworth: Where is everyone? They are going to announce our gate soon
Diego Armando: Being blind in the Starbucks
Franny: And I am helping him
Miles Edgeworth: How quickly can you drink coffee?
Diego Armando: Do you want to ask me that again
Miles Edgeworth: Good point
Miles Edgeworth: Debeste and Callabichi I can see you
Miles Edgeworth: Sahdmadhi where are you
Yuta: Me and Simon are lost in the Duty Free
Simon Blackquill: We’re not lost
Simon Blackquill: I’m not lost
Miles Edgeworth: Please return to base as soon as possible
Yuta: Yessir
Simon Blackquill: THIS PLACE IS A FUCKING MAZE
Diego Armando: You’ve been here before
Simon Blackquill: I KNOW
Simon Blackquill: IM GEOGRAPHICALLY CHALLENGED
Yuta: 😭
Yuta: Panda you are in a fridge
Simon Blackquill: I AM AWARE.
Yuta: Are you planning on staying in the fridge
Simon Blackquill: I am getting a sandwich you eternal, ever-evolving thorn in my side
Miles Edgeworth: God help us all
Sebby Debby: America’s top prosecutors
Miles Edgeworth: Ok so that’s
Miles Edgeworth: Gavin, where’s Gavin?
Sebby Debby: He said like ten minutes ago he needed to go walk around for a bit
Lally Callabichi: yeah his leg was doing that thing
Sebby Debby: The thing where you suddenly understand he does actually have something wrong with him just like the rest of us
Miles Edgeworth: Mmm
Miles Edgeworth: It concerns me he’s not replying
Diego Armando: He’s probably fine
Miles Edgeworth: Have you got your coffee now?
Diego Armando: Yeah I’m just downing meds for a ten hour flight
Miles Edgeworth: Grand
Private chat between Klavier Gavin and Miles Edgeworth
Miles Edgeworth: Are you alright?
Klavier Gavin: I will be
Klavier Gavin: I’m just riding a sudden wave of panic but leben, lachen, lieben
Miles Edgeworth: Ah, you’re in the bathroom right?
Klavier Gavin: Ja
Klavier Gavin: How long till our flight is called
Miles Edgeworth: Any minute now
Klavier Gavin: Ok
Klavier Gavin: Lemme just clean the eyeliner off my face and I’ll be right there
Miles Edgeworth: Do you want to talk about it
Klavier Gavin: Nein danke
Klavier Gavin: We both know why
Klavier Gavin: I just have to get on with it
Miles Edgeworth: I see
Klavier Gavin: And I also know you’re silently thanking gott that you don’t have to right now kjjkfkje
Miles Edgeworth: Listen I am good at many things but not at this
Klavier Gavin: Real
Klavier Gavin: Me neither
Klavier Gavin: Ok I’m coming back
Miles Edgeworth: Awesome
Klavier Gavin: Do you wanna hear another charli xcx song
Miles Edgeworth: Yes
Private chat between Athena Cykes and Simon Blackquill
bozo: I am so glad I’m flying out today
Bitch: is the weather shit by any chance si
bozo: No
bozo: Well yes but that’s to be expected
bozo: And I’ve just been stuck in a fridge briefly
Bitch: ????
Bitch: why
bozo: Yuta
Bitch: ok
Bitch: why do you wanna fly out bad
bozo: We’ve been working with a british prosecutor right
Bitch: makes sense you are in england
bozo: Silence
Bitch: don’t you silence me
bozo: Be quiet then
Bitch: aight
bozo: Basically I slept like shit yesterday night (blame Yuta, they were doing that thing in their sleep again)
Bitch: the talking, the yelling or The Problem
bozo: The Problem
bozo: Listen I love them but
bozo: A guy has limits
Bitch: i really don’t wanna hear about your sex life
Bitch: i already heard about mr wright’s yesterday
bozo: Wait pause why
Bitch: twice
Bitch: first i learnt against my will that he had a thing with klav’s brother
bozo: Did you not know that already
Bitch: no?? how come you do??
bozo: I work with Edgeworth-dono
bozo: He cannot stand Kristoph
bozo: And before he and Wright-dono finally got their act together we would all hear just how much he disliked him constantly
bozo: Although he would never admit he was jealous
bozo: We all knew
Bitch: so real
Bitch: and the second time was technically my fault
bozo: How
Bitch: got curious and showed him lawyer smut
Bitch: and now i know he tops
bozo: Information I really wish I didn’t have
Bitch: if i have it you have to have it
Bitch: anyway this british prosecutor?
bozo: Oh yeah
bozo: So I barely slept and turned up to court in the morning yesterday
bozo: And you know my accent slips when I’m knackered
bozo: And this guy
bozo: This BBC-talking, Queen’s English-spouting, Eton graduate motherfucker comes up to me to talk about the case
bozo: And when I open my mouth he looks confused
bozo: And asks to speak to my boss instead
bozo: Because apparently I should talk properly in a house of law
Bitch: you’re kidding
Bitch: what the fuck
Bitch: is the classism really that bad that your accent gets mocked now
bozo: Girl the reason I put on the RP in the first place is because I got bullied at secondary school for being from up north
bozo: I didn’t even spend more than 8 years in Manchester before we moved to Stansbury
bozo: The majority of my life I’ve lived in fucking America now
Bitch: poor thing
Bitch: no that’s so fucked up tho im glad youre coming home
bozo: Ugh
bozo: It’s just a bit shite innit
Bitch: sure is bruv
Bitch: what about that guy you met from stansbury
Bitch: is he normal or an
Bitch: (checks notes)
Bitch: eton graduate motherfucker
bozo: Lmao
bozo: At first I was intimidated because he seems really posh
bozo: Like with a name like Randall Ascot you know he’s in a different tax bracket
bozo: And also like I knew for a fact his family owned the village
Bitch: fuck me
Bitch: sooooo was he a bitch
bozo: Apparently after he fell down a hole and everyone he knew assumed he was dead, he lost his memory and then spent fifteen years or so being raised by farmers so he actually talks like he’s from Yorkshire now
Bitch: is that like you or different
bozo: Pretty different but the RP people will still look at you weird for it
Bitch: niiiice
Bitch: so he’s chill?
bozo: Highkey
bozo: All of Layton’s friends and family are cool I think
bozo: Apart from like
bozo: Desmond
Bitch: what’s desmond done to you
bozo: Bad vibes
Bitch: with a name like desmond
bozo: Real
Bitch: who was your favorite i can feed back to truce who will feed back to layton’s kid
bozo: Ohhhh
bozo: I liked Alfendi he was funny
bozo: I don’t think I had a favourite tho
Bitch: boring i always have a favorite
bozo: Who’s your favourite prosecutor
Bitch: oh that’s easy 😁
bozo: Haha love you too
Bitch: lol no its edgeworth xoxo
bozo: You’re a cunt
Bitch: slash jay slash jay
Bitch: ofc it’s you
bozo: Oh you flatter me
bozo: Oh shit our gate’s being called
Bitch: have fun
Bitch: how long is your flight
bozo: 10 hours and 45 minutes
Bitch: fuck me
Bitch: good luck
Groupchat: ollie slander
Lally Callabichi: ok, im flying back now, ella do you know when the trial is
Ella Feckles: Babe it’s today
Lally Callabichi: shit i was gonna try and take over the case
Ella Feckles: I don’t think they’d let you
Lally Callabichi: i know i know but at least i would have tried
Ella Feckles: Yeah I mean me and Laura are doing all we can
Ella Feckles: Like Laura’s defending him and I’m inconveniencing de la Pole
Lally Callabichi: what’s he like
Ella Feckles: I swear he talks exactly like Manfred von Karma back from the dead
Ella Feckles: Same vibes
Ella Feckles: I bet he’s gonna start the trial like “3 minutes is all I need”
Lally Callabichi: ugh
Lally Callabichi: ok
Lally Callabichi: how’s laura doing with all of this
Ella Feckles: When I saw her at the scene today she was doing well
Ella Feckles: Determined
Ella Feckles: Sorting shit out and gathering evidence
Ella Feckles: And doing that thing she always does where she stands in the corner and mutters about prawns
Lally Callabichi: pawns
Ella Feckles: Yeah that
Ella Feckles: I don’t know if she’ll win
Ella Feckles: And like I love Ollie dearly so I’m panicking but
Ella Feckles: It’s so out of my hands
Lally Callabichi: yeah i get you
Lally Callabichi: what do you think happened
Ella Feckles: Current Detective Detective theory is that de la Pole is somehow behind it
Ella Feckles: I don’t know how or why but you know
Lally Callabichi: hold on wild thought
Ella Feckles: Yeah?
Lally Callabichi: did the case originally come to the elo
Lally Callabichi: like the one the defendant was accused of before he killed himself (?)
Lally Callabichi: or was it a waa one palmed off to them
Ella Feckles: …
Ella Feckles: I don’t know
Lally Callabichi: because edgeworth seems to think its a copycat killing
Lally Callabichi: and like it wouldn’t work to inconvenience the elo really if it was someone with an agenda against the people in that old case
Lally Callabichi: unless they’re really stupid and think edgeworth works at the edgeworth law offices
Lally Callabichi: 👁️👁️
Ella Feckles: No fr fr
Lally Callabichi: idk it just feels relevant?
Ella Feckles: I’ll look into it
Ella Feckles: It’s something
Ella Feckles: Lally I’m scared
Lally Callabichi: i know love i know
Ella Feckles: I don’t wanna lose him again
Lally Callabichi: we won’t
Lally Callabichi: i mean he’s innocent right
Ella Feckles: Yeah
Ella Feckles: I mean of course he is
Ella Feckles: But
Ella Feckles: We’re not long out of the dark age Lals
Lally Callabichi: yeah that’s what’s worrying me
Lally Callabichi: we don’t necessarily know that de la pole is scum
Ella Feckles: Well
Ella Feckles: I mean
Ella Feckles: Trained by the same guy as von Karma Lally
Lally Callabichi: good point
Lally Callabichi: but good people can come from bad circumstances
Lally Callabichi: there are many examples
Ella Feckles: Including you
Ella Feckles: But is de la Pole one
Lally Callabichi: i don’t know
Ella Feckles: I’m so glad you’re coming home
Ella Feckles: I need a hug
Lally Callabichi: <3
Lally Callabichi: it’ll be ok
Lally Callabichi: keep me updated, i know i can’t talk on the flight but i can read em when i land
Ella Feckles: Yeah will do
Ella Feckles: I love you
Lally Callabichi: i love you too
Groupchat: why am I the only one popping their pussy right now -mia fey, posthumously
Apollo Justice: Can someone tell me why I came back to the office to white girl club music being played so loudly
Athena Cykes: the girls were left alone
Maya Fey: and we are living by my sister’s words
Pearl Fey: We are popping our pussys Apollo
Trucy Wright: Serve
Apollo Justice: Where is your father
Trucy Wright: Dunno
Trucy Wright: Somewhere
Athena Cykes: join us apollo
Apollo Justice: I’m good thanks
Apollo Justice: Where the fuck did you get that disco light
Maya Fey: fey manor
Apollo Justice: Ok
Apollo Justice: Guys
Apollo Justice: You know when Mr Wright leaves I’m in charge right?
Apollo Justice: As senior lawyer?
Athena Cykes: yeah and
Pearl Fey: We are having fun
Trucy Wright: We have no clients Pollo the hell are we meant to do
Trucy Wright: Sit here and be boring?
Apollo Justice: Yes
Apollo Justice: We are lawyers
Apollo Justice: You keep talking like that and I’ll go back to my own practice in Khura’in
Trucy Wright: NOOOO
Trucy Wright: YOU’RE NOT ALLOWED TO LEAVE 😡
Apollo Justice: Watch me pipsqueak
Athena Cykes: apollo
Athena Cykes: imma be so for real
Athena Cykes: mr wright would support this
Phoenix Wright: Support what?
Phoenix Wright: OH I LOVE THIS SONG
Trucy Wright: Case and point
Apollo Justice: Guys will we ever be a serious law office
Phoenix Wright: Nah kid that’s boring
Phoenix Wright: I would rather pop my pussy to Lady Gaga
Apollo Justice: Ugh
Maya Fey: lighten up man
Maya Fey: like i know your boyfriend was almost framed for murder but babes that is a regular tuesday here
Maya Fey: shit happens to us apollo
Maya Fey: all the fucking time
Phoenix Wright: Honestly now that the ELO is getting dragged into bullshit it’s honestly refreshing
Athena Cykes: oh fr
Pearl Fey: Was that wher you were?
Phoenix Wright: At the trial?
Phoenix Wright: Yeah
Apollo Justice: How’s it going?
Phoenix Wright: Weeeeeellllllll
Phoenix Wright: Getting unpleasant MVK flashbacks
Phoenix Wright: But other than that the dude is like 78 so takes like 5 years to respond to a question and his questionable tactics are more than sloppy compared to Manfred
Phoenix Wright: So they’re winning
Phoenix Wright: But it is being extended another day because the defense hasn’t indicted anyone yet
Maya Fey: hmm
Maya Fey: franny says the detectives think it was de la pole?
Phoenix Wright: I don’t think so
Phoenix Wright: Either that or I’ve fallen for an old man’s bluff
Phoenix Wright: But I think it’s someone else
Pearl Fey: Do you think their right about it being a copy cat?
Phoenix Wright: Oh yeah
Phoenix Wright: It’s gotta be someone with a grudge against someone
Phoenix Wright: Weren’t we originally taking the Dawson murder?
Apollo Justice: Yeah
Apollo Justice: And
Apollo Justice: Shit
Phoenix Wright: What?
Apollo Justice: I gave that case to Lone
Apollo Justice: Like practically forced it on the poor guy
Phoenix Wright: So it would have been you
Phoenix Wright: Your defendant...
Trucy Wright: Raise your hand if you lowkey think the courtroom poisoning and Kristoph’s prison plans are connected
Maya Fey: 🖐️
Athena Cykes: 🖐️
Pearl Fey: 🖐️
Phoenix Wright: 🖐️
Apollo Justice: 🖐️
Apollo Justice: Ok
Apollo Justice: I’m gonna go get Ema to tell me what the poison was
Athena Cykes: betting pool ten bucks on atroquinine
Phoenix Wright: But how would it have gotten to the defendant
Maya Fey: same prison as kristoph?
Apollo Justice: Lowkey they all go there
Phoenix Wright: Yeah
Phoenix Wright: I fear if I ever go back there I might get murdered by like… Everyone there
Trucy Wright: Boo hoo I’ve enacted justice on criminals
Phoenix Wright: No I am so serious
Phoenix Wright: Matt Engarde is in there
Maya Fey: he’d never get his hands dirty
Phoenix Wright: Yeah but he’s fucking scary
Athena Cykes: they’ve not executed him yet?
Phoenix Wright: Well no he didn’t technically kill
Phoenix Wright: Oh my god what the fuck was his name
Trucy Wright: Jean?
Athena Cykes: jan?
Maya Fey: john?
Pearl Fey: Jeorge?
Apollo Justice: Juan Corrida
Phoenix Wright: That’s the one
Phoenix Wright: Apollo with the lawyer autism back at it again
Apollo Justice: You’re welcome
Apollo Justice: My 15 year old self is rolling in his grave
Phoenix Wright: So yeah they didn’t give him the death penalty despite how much he begged for it
Phoenix Wright: The moment he gets out de Killer will be on him
Phoenix Wright: So he keeps doing like the most minor disciplinary shit to extend his sentence it’s kinda funny
Apollo Justice: Do you just get updates on this
Phoenix Wright: Yeah
Phoenix Wright: Me and that one guard that stands in the DC visiting room are tight
Maya Fey: i fucking love that guy
Maya Fey: dave <3
Phoenix Wright: Dave <3
Trucy Wright: Dave <3
Apollo Justice: Did not know that was his name
Athena Cykes: he’s actually quite nice
Apollo Justice: Huh
Apollo Justice: Perks of not being arrested I guess
Pearl Fey: Yet!
Pearl Fey: There’s still time
Apollo Justice: Incredibly ominous
Apollo Justice: I’ve just realised we’re still playing clubbing music
Phoenix Wright: Yeah just slightly quieter
Apollo Justice: Can you turn it up I like this one
Phoenix Wright: MARINA FAN
Phoenix Wright: FUCK YEAH POLLO
Apollo Justice: Yeah.
Apollo Justice: Honestly I think I spend too much time with Klav he’s polluted my music taste
Trucy Wright: Can we do an experiment to check if you like the Gavinners now
Apollo Justice: I will never like the Gavinners
Apollo Justice: But Cuntissimo is a good song and I’m tired of pretending it’s not
Trucy Wright: I think it’s actually CUNTISSIMO
Apollo Justice: Girl I am never shouting song names like that
Phoenix Wright: Just every other word right Pollo
Apollo Justice: Why does everyone bully me
Trucy Wright: Shut up and come dance to CUNTISSIMO with me
Apollo Justice: Yeah ok whatever
Athena Cykes: GUYS
Athena Cykes: TURN IT OFF WE HAVE A CLIENT I CAN HEAR THEM
Phoenix Wright: AW FUCK
Private chat between Ema Skye and Apollo Justice
the freak: Hi Ema
Ema Skye: yeah what
the freak: 1. Can I appeal to change my nickname again
Ema Skye: no
Ema Skye: you know what you are
the freak: 2. I know I’m not allowed to see Dawson’s autopsy but can you answer me one question
Ema Skye: uhhh depends
the freak: What was the poison?
Ema Skye: oh yeah i can answer that one second
Ema Skye: atroquinine
Ema Skye: OH SHIT IT’S ATROQUININE
the freak: Ah.
the freak: We uh
the freak: We had a hunch
the freak: I was meant to take that case
Ema Skye: fuck
Ema Skye: ok thanks
Ema Skye: at least i know our incidents are possibly linked
the freak: I mean
the freak: Who else uses atroquinine
Ema Skye: your boss’ other ex
Ema Skye: man he sure has a type huh
Ema Skye: but yeah nah nobody else that we know of as a repeat killer
the freak: Right
the freak: One more question I’m sorry
Ema Skye: yeah go for it babes
the freak: Do you know when Kristoph is due to be executed?
Ema Skye: oh shit i have no idea
Ema Skye: i mean usually its like ten years on death row
Ema Skye: but i know mvk was only waiting for like 2 years or something
the freak: Can you check
Ema Skye: ill see
Ema Skye: a date may not even be decided yet
Ema Skye: why you think its a last ditch effort or something?
the freak: I don’t know Ema
the freak: I guess I just wanna see if he has a reason this time
the freak: Instead of the nebulous motivations he had last time
the freak: Ugh
the freak: Why is him that always comes back
Ema Skye: persistent like a bad smell
Ema Skye: i dunno
Ema Skye: we see
the freak: Yeah
Groupchat: International Prosecutorial Welcoming Committee (this sounds way too official for what we are)
Ella Feckles: Guys I might be late is anyone coming from the courthouse?
Apollo Justice: There’s no more space in my car I’m sorry
Ella Feckles: No that’s so fair you have like your entire agency in there
Apollo Justice: Yeah 😭
Hugh O'Connor: I can take a detour?
Ella Feckles: Oh thank fuck
Ella Feckles: Thanks man
Hugh O'Connor: Any time
Maya Fey: should we have made signs
Phoenix Wright: Jesus Christ no Maya
Phoenix Wright: Everyone we love is so socially awkward
Athena Cykes: and also we will rock up looking like a whole circus anyway
Trucy Wright: Magician, two spirit mediums, 4 multi-colored defense attorneys and the human embodiment of pink
Trucy Wright: Yeah you couldn’t miss us
Hugh O'Connor: It’s a wonder they love us as much as they do
Trucy Wright: I think it’s exactly why they do
Chapter 6: What could have been
Notes:
heyyyyaaaaa
i can't lie, not a lot happens this chapter i feel, but that's ok. we are here for sillies and bizarre lore drops
also, i have finally (after like 4 years) made a post talking about the ocs in this fic so you can read that here if you are curious
also also, i regularly forget i have a discord server (mostly because it's incredibly inactive but hey, maybe you can change that) if so, join here
also for some reason all of the messages with emojis in look bold to me idk if this translates to when i upload this but if so, sorry, idk how to fix it i literally just learned to image embed
Chapter Text
Groupchat: Can we get anything Wright?
Phoenix Wright: Where is Apollo
Trucy Wright: Genesis 4:9
Phoenix Wright: What
Phoenix Wright: What are you saying
Trucy Wright: Genesis 4:9
Miles Edgeworth: Ah, Cain and Abel
Miles Edgeworth: “Am I my brother's keeper?”
Phoenix Wright: Oh
Phoenix Wright: How silly of me
Trucy Wright: Smh Dad why don’t you know your bible
Phoenix Wright: Because I quite literally do not give a fuck
Phoenix Wright: Why do you know your bible
Phoenix Wright: Actually
Phoenix Wright: Why do either of you know your bible???
Trucy Wright: Muppet Joker lore
Miles Edgeworth: SCU
Phoenix Wright: I
Phoenix Wright: Ok
Phoenix Wright: Where is Apollo he’s late for work and I actually need him as emotional support Athena is not helping
Mikoto Wright: Why?
Phoenix Wright: Ugh you know I was telling you about the whole drama with the ELO?
Mikoto Wright: Oh yes?
Phoenix Wright: I wanna go round there and offer support or something but I need back up and Athena is not good at being quiet and letting me talk when emotions are high
Phoenix Wright: Well I should say Widget is not good at that so I need Pollo
Mikoto Wright: Makes sense.
Apollo Justice: Sorry I am on my way
Apollo Justice: I have had the worst morning of my entire life
Apollo Justice: Well actually the morning I found out Clay died was worse
Apollo Justice: But this is up there
Trucy Wright: Aww how come?
Apollo Justice: We had a powercut overnight so my alarm didn’t go off and I woke up about 20 minutes late
Apollo Justice: I slept like shit because Klavier keeps having nightmares
Trucy Wright: Yikes
Phoenix Wright: Great start
Apollo Justice: HE KICKED ME SO HARD IT LEFT A BRUISE
Phoenix Wright: Oh been there done that
Miles Edgeworth: Sorry
Apollo Justice: I then go to eat my breakfast in front of youtube
Trucy Wright: As you do
Apollo Justice: And my laptop wants to update to the next version of the software and I go ok because maybe then the fans will stop whirring like they want to take off
Apollo Justice: After eating my yoghurt and staring at it for 10 minutes I would like you to guess the percent of completion
Miles Edgeworth: 12
Mikoto Wright: 8?
Trucy Wright: 69
Phoenix Wright: 3
Apollo Justice: Close!
Apollo Justice: 4.
Miles Edgeworth: Good grief
Apollo Justice: And I’m already like shit
Apollo Justice: I am gonna be late
Apollo Justice: And this little furry fuck decides he wants tuna
Mikoto Wright: Don’t be so mean to Mikeko.
Mikoto Wright: I love him.
Apollo Justice: I do too Ms Wright
Apollo Justice: But I spent 45 minutes THAT I DIDN’T HAVE trying to open his FUCKING TUNA
Trucy Wright: Brother of mine
Trucy Wright: How did you manage that
Apollo Justice: Confession: I can’t use a can opener
Miles Edgeworth: You are 26 years old
Miles Edgeworth: How have you got this far without learning how to use a can opener?
Apollo Justice: Idk!!!!
Apollo Justice: I know how they work in theory but like my hands don’t wanna do it????
Phoenix Wright: ?????
Apollo Justice: And the one Klav has is like
Apollo Justice: Shit
Apollo Justice: And also nobody has ever taught me
Phoenix Wright: Ok I’m teaching you
Phoenix Wright: Dhurke and Datz literally ran a rebellion did they really not teach you???
Apollo Justice: Nope
Apollo Justice: Probably too busy running a rebellion
Trucy Wright: That means Yuta doesn’t know either which is quite possibly funnier
Apollo Justice: Fucking prince bitch fuck regent wouldn’t even need to know
Phoenix Wright: Ok Pollo that’s quite strong
Apollo Justice: One more mild inconvenience and I’m gonna lose it
Miles Edgeworth: Did you get the can open eventually?
Apollo Justice: Sort of
Mikoto Wright: Explain sort of.
Apollo Justice: Uhhh
Apollo Justice: Please don’t judge me
Apollo Justice: Devastation.jpg
It’s a photo of a can of tuna. The lid is not off, it has been levered slightly open from a hole in the top, there are flakes of tuna around the hole which suggest the tuna has been scooped out. Around the rim, there are dents and scratches that speak of many attempts to get this open. Laying uselessly on the counter is the can opener, a knife and a spoon, both of the latter covered in tuna and the spoon handle bent. Just about in frame is a calico cat eating a meagre amount of tuna from his bowl.
Mikoto Wright: くそ
Phoenix Wright: Yeah that’s about right
Phoenix Wright: Fucking hell
Miles Edgeworth: I have never seen something like that
Trucy Wright: HAHAHAHAHJHAGFJEHGFJHGFEH IM PISSING MYSELF YOU POOR MAN
Apollo Justice: Klavier laughed at me
Apollo Justice: He came in because he heard swearing
Apollo Justice: And saw me hunched over this fuckass tuna can
Trucy Wright: I bet that was an image
Apollo Justice: kleinerwütenderMann.jpg
It’s a photo taken from Klavier’s phone (the camera quality is better) of Apollo glaring at the doorway and using the handle of the spoon to lever open the can, Mikeko is getting in his way. There are tears in his eyes.
Trucy Wright: WHY ARE YOU CRYING
Apollo Justice: IT WAS FRUSTRATING
Apollo Justice: LIKE I SAID
Apollo Justice: BAD MORNING.
Mikoto Wright: That is an awful can opener.
Miles Edgeworth: I think it’s electric
Apollo Justice: It’s not
Apollo Justice: I’ve seen Klav use it before
Apollo Justice: You use it like a normal one
Phoenix Wright: You just can’t put theory into practise 😭
Apollo Justice: Yeah 😭
Miles Edgeworth: To be fair to you, I don’t think I would enjoy that can opener
Apollo Justice: Thank you Mr Edgeworth
Phoenix Wright: And hey, at least you fed the furry bastard in the end
Apollo Justice: He was yelling at me and tapping my arm the entire time
Trucy Wright: You were mauling his can that’s why
Mikoto Wright: So, explain this to me.
Mikoto Wright: What do you usually do when you have to feed Mikeko his tuna?
Apollo Justice: I get the ring pull cans
Mikoto Wright: And why didn’t you have a ring pull can today?
Apollo Justice: We accidentally bought the bad ones a couple of weeks ago and we’ve been trying to use them up, there’s no more ring pull ones left, usually I’d get Klav but since he slept badly I didn’t want to wake him before his alarm
Apollo Justice: So as much as I was in a hell of my own making, the Holy Mother did not help me
Mikoto Wright: I’m going to get you a better can opener, this is no way to live.
Apollo Justice: You don’t have to
Mikoto Wright: Let me love you Apollo.
Trucy Wright: Obaa-chan has a desperate desire to love her grandchildren, would you deprive our grandmother of such?
Apollo Justice: She’s not
Apollo Justice: Actually whatever
Apollo Justice: Sure
Mikoto Wright: Yippee.gif
It is the autism creature gif, who taught her this? She’s 62?
Apollo Justice: And I am not gonna ask any questions about that
Miles Edgeworth: Probably for the best
Apollo Justice: So anyway to answer your question, I am in the car and will be at the office soon
Apollo Justice: Because I was so late that Klav has finished getting ready for his rehearsal and now he’s driving me <3
Phoenix Wright: Awesome news
Trucy Wright: We love Klavier
Mikoto Wright: I have never met Klavier.
Mikoto Wright: I would like to meet Klavier.
Phoenix Wright: Klavier should probably be on the chat actually
Apollo Justice: I thought you were waiting for us to get married
Phoenix Wright: Nope
Phoenix Wright: We have known for like months that you were planning to propose because you’re about as subtle as a boot to the head
Apollo Justice: Ah
Phoenix Wright: And just coz it wasn’t exactly a proper proposal doesn’t mean it wasn’t one, there is still a ring on that man’s finger
Apollo Justice: Sooooo
Apollo Justice: Why has it taken this long to consider it?
Phoenix Wright: 1) You are not my son as you frequently say so why would I add your boyfriend
Trucy Wright: Tsk
Apollo Justice: Well I’m not am I
Phoenix Wright: You are my daughter’s brother that’s like close enough
Apollo Justice: You know what that’s actually the soundest logic you’ve ever had for this specific strain of the same argument we keep having
Phoenix Wright: That’s because you’ve said it before so you’re more inclined to think I’m correct
Apollo Justice: Hey don't Blackquill me
Trucy Wright: The existence of the 1 implies there is a 2…
Phoenix Wright: Yeah I’m just trying to articulate myself properly
Apollo Justice: You don’t like him do you?
Phoenix Wright: NO I DO
Phoenix Wright: I promise I do
Phoenix Wright: He’s a good kid and he’s had a hard life and he treats you well
Apollo Justice: But?
Phoenix Wright: But he did still disbar me Apollo
Phoenix Wright: Yes he wasn’t responsible for it but he still did it
Phoenix Wright: And yes he saw no other options and did it out of the genuine desire for truth and justice but it doesn’t stop this like
Phoenix Wright: Pit in my stomach at the thought of it
Apollo Justice: Right
Phoenix Wright: And it was there for a long time
Phoenix Wright: But it isn’t there any more
Apollo Justice: It isn’t?
Phoenix Wright: No
Phoenix Wright: It was which is why I didn’t add him even when you guys were looking serious
Phoenix Wright: But I think I’m over it now
Apollo Justice: I see
Apollo Justice: You know I actually do get what you’re saying
Apollo Justice: Coz like I’m still hostile for shit you got me doing during your emo era
Apollo Justice: Even though I understand why and you did it for the greater good, it’s still there
Phoenix Wright: Yeah
Apollo Justice: And I’m glad you’re moving past it
Apollo Justice: I probably should too
Phoenix Wright: All in time
Phoenix Wright: I understand if you don’t
Phoenix Wright: Shit this is unexpectedly sincere first thing in the morning uhhhh somebody lower the tone again
Trucy Wright: Pussy
Phoenix Wright: Thanks
Apollo Justice: Not a chance
Apollo Justice: Was there anything specific that made you reconsider your opinion
Apollo Justice: Sorry I’m asking like a saw villain I’m so tired jhkjfekdj
Phoenix Wright: Real as hell
Phoenix Wright: Well I guess I was kinda just thinking and logicing (Miles are you proud of me)
Miles Edgeworth: Always <3
Phoenix Wright: Yay <3
Phoenix Wright: Anyway I realised he is actually probably shit-scared of me and that’s why we have never spent a significant amount of time together
Phoenix Wright: And also he knew from the moment he met you and Trucy you guys were siblings and never spilled the secret until I was ready to go against Thalassa’s wishes so I know he's a good guy
Trucy Wright: FROM THE MOMENT HE MET US????
Apollo Justice: ?????
Phoenix Wright: Yeah
Phoenix Wright: The one proper conversation we’ve actually had in person recently was about it
Phoenix Wright: Apparently to him you guys look so similar and already acted like siblings even though you had known each other for like 5 minutes
Phoenix Wright: Also he knew Lamiroir well so he put those dots together in like five seconds
Apollo Justice: It pisses me off that he’s smart
Apollo Justice: Like look at him he’s the kinda guy that should have like three thoughts max in his life
Apollo Justice: But noooo
Apollo Justice: He has to be infuriatingly intelligent
Phoenix Wright: How do you think I feel he outsmarted me in court
Phoenix Wright: ME
Phoenix Wright: THE TURNABOUT TERROR
Trucy Wright: You’ve lost so much aura for referring to yourself like that
Miles Edgeworth: How many points do I lose if I refer to myself as the demon prosecutor
Apollo Justice: Even more Mr Edgeworth I’m sorry
Phoenix Wright: Sorry, going back to the conversation I had with Klav
Phoenix Wright: Can you ask what the fuck he meant by “the music was the same” coz he listed that as another reason and it has been like 5 months and I’m still thinking about it
Apollo Justice: He shrugged and refused to elaborate
Apollo Justice: He does that though
Apollo Justice: He does just freeze sometimes and go “the music has changed” and he still hasn’t told me why
Trucy Wright: Probably a law superpower we haven’t unlocked
Apollo Justice: Lowkey
Apollo Justice: Like everyone has something so
Miles Edgeworth: Not the prosecutors???
Phoenix Wright: No no you guys do
Phoenix Wright: You? Logic
Miles Edgeworth: The fact that that is a “lawyer superpower” is significantly upsetting
Phoenix Wright: Shh
Phoenix Wright: Blackquill has his weird psychology shit
Trucy Wright: And the hawk
Phoenix Wright: And the hawk
Phoenix Wright: If Klavier has “the music” then that’s one
Apollo Justice: von Karma has whip
Miles Edgeworth: That’s not
Miles Edgeworth: Whatever
Miles Edgeworth: What does Sebastian have?
Mikoto Wright: Which one is that?
Trucy Wright: Eustace
Apollo Justice: The one with the fuckass bob
Phoenix Wright: The old chief prosecutor slash prosecutor’s federation (?) guy’s son
Miles Edgeworth: Chairman of the Committee for Prosecutorial Excellence
Mikoto Wright: The power of invisibility.
Trucy Wright: The power of perceived stupidity…
Miles Edgeworth: Fine
Miles Edgeworth: Armando?
Phoenix Wright: Coffee???
Miles Edgeworth: Your argument is weak
Phoenix Wright: Talk dirty to me
Trucy Wright: Jesus Christ
Miles Edgeworth: Callabichi?
Phoenix Wright: Mafia??????
Miles Edgeworth: What am I going to do with you?
Phoenix Wright: Well I did send you that fanfiction
Trucy Wright: I am actually begging you two to get a room
Apollo Justice: I changed my mind I don’t wanna be part of this family anymore
Phoenix Wright: Too bad
Mikoto Wright: They do say you cannot choose your family.
Apollo Justice: That usually applies to those who were born in
Apollo Justice: I am here entirely by chance and a few very complicated plots and coincidences
Trucy Wright: Ah yes, Apollo Justice and his three backstories
Apollo Justice: They call me triple team
Trucy Wright: Tired Apollo is so funny this is gonna be a great day
Apollo Justice: At least one of us is having fun
Miles Edgeworth: Tell me about it
Phoenix Wright: Trouble?
Miles Edgeworth: I want to put Prosecutor de la Pole in a home
Miles Edgeworth: I cannot believe we ever thought he could mastermind anything HE CAN’T EVEN FILL IN A FORM
Miles Edgeworth: LOOK.jpg
It’s a witness form, it looks like de la Pole has been trying to fill out Chief Gumshoe’s details and has written the wrong information in the wrong boxes and spelt Gumshoe’s name wrong.
Phoenix Wright: Is he ok
Phoenix Wright: This is like more concerning than the judge
Miles Edgeworth: I’m honestly not sure
Miles Edgeworth: Regardless it has given me a good reason to take him off of Lone’s case
Apollo Justice: Can you please be really careful who you put on it?
Miles Edgeworth: I know
Miles Edgeworth: I’m waiting on an update of Kristoph’s cell search to make the next decision
Miles Edgeworth: Contrary to popular belief and my actions of February 26th 2017, I do not want to die
Trucy Wright: NOT YOU DROPPING THE DATE PAPA
Miles Edgeworth: Was that insensitive
Miles Edgeworth: Probably
Phoenix Wright: I am laughing but I do feel bad
Miles Edgeworth: I am over it do not feel bad
Phoenix Wright: I am also over it but I swear to god
Apollo Justice: The lore of this group of people is intense
Mikoto Wright: Everything goes over my head all of the time.
Phoenix Wright: Sorry Mom 😭
Phoenix Wright: Anyway
Phoenix Wright added Klavier Gavin to the groupchat.
Phoenix Wright: Play me a song you’re the piano man
Apollo Justice: He is driving
Apollo Justice: But I read it to him and he laughed
Apollo Justice: And he’s glad to be here
Trucy Wright: Yay!
Groupchat: Fey Family Fuckary
Maya Fey: operation get peepaw to the doctors engage
Pearl Fey: Maya what does this meen
Maya Fey: it means where the fuck is diego
Diego Armando: In my bedroom
Diego Armando: Why
Maya Fey: you have an appointment
Diego Armando: Don’t want to
Maya Fey: pussy
Maya Fey: why you literally said you needed to go fix up your visor
Diego Armando: I rescind it
Diego Armando: I actually just want to go blind in peace
Maya Fey: mmm no
Iris Fey: Why do you really not want to go?
Iris Fey: Are you scared?
Diego Armando: No
Diego Armando: I don’t get scared
Diego Armando: I’m fine with the doctors
Diego Armando: They’re just people
Diego Armando: I’m not scared of the doctors
Iris Fey: Sort of sounds like you’re scared of the doctors
Diego Armando: I am not
Maya Fey: babes i can hear the psyche locks from here
Diego Armando: …
Diego Armando: Stupid lie detectors can’t lie to anyone anymore
Franny: Yes it is annoying, can you come out of your room please?
Diego Armando: No
Maya Fey: fuck me it’s like dealing with a child
Maya Fey: if we promise you a lollipop will you come to the doctors
Diego Armando: No
Diego Armando: I am a grown man don’t be so condescending
Maya Fey: you’re not acting like one
Diego Armando: And you’re acting like a bitch
Franny: Ok woah
Franny: This is not helpful for any of us
Franny: Diego, we are going to the doctors. You will get a starbucks afterwards. Get in the car or I will drag you there.
Diego Armando: …
Diego Armando: Yeah ok
Maya Fey: why do you listen to her :(
Diego Armando: Your wife is scary
Diego Armando: I fully expect my door to end up in pieces in the event of my non-compliance
Franny: That was my next option
Maya Fey: ah probably a better idea than mine
Diego Armando: What was yours?
Maya Fey: channel mia.
Diego Armando: Shit ok I’m coming jesus
Groupchat: Group Therapy
Trucy Wright: Hello hordes
Cody Hackins: Misread that as whores
Trucy Wright: Both apply
Betty de Famme: what is the purpose of our summons trucy of ours
Trucy Wright: I miss you guys
Trucy Wright: It sucks when everyone’s busy :(
Bonny de Famme: What are we all doing anyway
Katri: Exams 🐱🔫
Bonny de Famme: Yeah that’s fair
Trucy Wright: When do you finish school Katri?
Katri: Not until the 18th of July
Trucy Wright: Fuck me are you kidding
Katri: It’s a half day
Katri: But Ernest and I are going slightly insane
Pearl Fey: I love heering random things about Ernest he seems really sweet
Katri: He is
Katri: The most pathetic man you will ever meet but he’s great
Betty de Famme: the best type of man is a little bit pathetic tbh
Cody Hackins: REAL
Katri: Anyway what is everyone else up to? It has been quiet around here?
Trucy Wright: Everyone and their mom knows I’m interning at the WAA
Pearl Fey: WAP
Trucy Wright: So true actually
Pearl Fey: I am jumping between Kurain and the city, we’re trying to teatch non-feys rn and it’s not going great
Pearl Fey: And other times I am helping file things
Trucy Wright: Will you be my weird-girl co-council when I pass the bar
Pearl Fey: Ofc <3
Pearl Fey: It is my god-given right I think
Trucy Wright: So true bestie
Betty de Famme: me and bons are on tour
Betty de Famme: so we are never in the same place as anybody
Bonny de Famme: It lowkey sucks I miss you guys
Betty de Famme: we do finish up soon tbf
Cody Hackins: And I have finished college for the season so I’m just in my Global Studios job
Katri: You guys are so cool
Katri: I am just sitting in this cafeteria with my Radnor Fizz
Bonny de Famme: What is a Radnor Fizz
Katri: Oh it’s like this kinda shit fizzy drink you get in British schools it has like no sugar but tastes really good
Bonny de Famme: Oooo
Katri: The one I have rn is peach and it is delightful
Pearl Fey: Where is our boy
Katri: In the lunch queue
Katri: Dude is getting a panini for himself and a burger for me
Cody Hackins: Gay
Trucy Wright: A panini was literally your fucking go-to order
Trucy Wright: What does that say about you
Cody Hackins: That I am a massive faggot <3
Katri: I feel like Ernest has something vaguely faggy going on
Katri: Like he has a crush on me don’t get me wrong
Katri: But I think there’s something else there
Katri: When I date him he’s probably not gonna come out with the same pronouns he went in with
Trucy Wright: ICONIC STATEMENT
Pearl Fey: NO I GET YOU THO
Pearl Fey: It’s giving
Pearl Fey: Ok idk if you guys will see my vishon but it’s giving Diego
Trucy Wright: I SEE YOUR VISION
Cody Hackins: REAL AS HELL
Katri: Diego was the one with the mask right?
Pearl Fey: Yeah
Katri: Yeah I see it
Pearl Fey: He was throwing a tantrum earlier about going to the doctor’s
Betty de Famme: bro has trauma be nice
Pearl Fey: Yeah but this was like a unique breed of pathetic
Pearl Fey: Franny had to bribe him out with coffee and threats
Pearl Fey: I am aktually in the waiting room as we speek
Trucy Wright: Has he got someone in there with him?
Pearl Fey: Yeah ofc dude is blind
Pearl Fey: Franny and Maya are in there
Pearl Fey: Also Mia but like ghost
Katri: HE’S BLIND????
Pearl Fey: Why did you think he was wearing the masque?
Katri: Idk
Katri: Fashion??
Katri: You see some weird shit in London man
Pearl Fey: Nope it helps him see!
Pearl Fey: But it’s going wrong a bit atm
Pearl Fey: So their doing mayntananse or something
Cody Hackins: Mayonnaise
Pearl Fey: How is it meant to be spelled
Cody Hackins: Maintenance?
Pearl Fey: YES
Pearl Fey: Sorry it’s bad today
Betty de Famme: we understand you don’t worry babes
Pearl Fey: Still it annoys me so much
Pearl Fey: But yeah dude is a specimen
Trucy Wright: I do find him very interesting in the way I find a peculiar species of beetle interesting
Trucy Wright: Anyway who wants to help me draft a text to my mother
Betty de Famme: yesssss
Cody Hackins: Yeah ok
Pearl Fey: Not sure how much help I will be spelling-wise but I’m hear
Pearl Fey: Here
Katri: Yeah I got like 30 minutes
Bonny de Famme: Ooooo what have you got so far?
Trucy Wright: You guys are not gonna be ready for this
Trucy Wright: Screenshot.jpg
It is a screenshot of the notes app in Trucy’s phone. The clock on the top right reads 8:34 AM, she has 22% battery. The note currently reads “Hello.” and that is it.
Cody Hackins: 1) Charge your phone 2) Great start 3) What next
Trucy Wright: Idk that’s why I need you guys
Katri: What are you specifically trying to say to her?
Trucy Wright: Mostly hello I am your daughter can I have my bracelet
Katri: Just write that idk the issue
Pearl Fey: It’s not very polite
Katri: So
Katri: She fucked off when you were what like 3?
Katri: And then didn’t come back so like
Betty de Famme: to be fair to the woman she was shot
Katri: Huh
Katri: Ok I’m gonna need some comprehensive explanation rn please
Trucy Wright: Ok so baaaaasically
Trucy Wright: In 2016 my mom Thalassa was practicing a trick with my bio dad Zak and co-star Valant. Somehow, I’ve never worked out who shot who (at the copacabana) Thalassa got shot in the head and everyone presumed she died
Cody Hackins: Gee Trucy who let you have three dads
Trucy Wright: Shh
Trucy Wright: My grandfather, Magnifi, essentially covered this all up and I believe he was the only one who knew she was alive, sending her off to Borginia where she restarted her life because she lost her memory (she was also blind)
Trucy Wright: According to Dad, she is not blind anymore and miraculously got her memory back (don’t ask idk either) but was still not ready to tell me and Apollo as of like last year when Dad cracked and told us
Trucy Wright: So yeah I genuinely don’t know how to think of her
Betty de Famme: personally i don’t like her
Pearl Fey: I am on the fence
Pearl Fey: Like at least she seemed nice
Trucy Wright: Yeah she’s no Morgan Fey
Betty de Famme: MORGAN FEY HATE CLUB
Cody Hackins: MORGAN FEY HATE CLUB
Bonny de Famme: MORGAN FEY HATE CLUB
Katri: Dare I ask about THAT mother
Pearl Fey: Oh she tried to get me to help with like two murders and get Maya thrown in prison and/or murdered, it was a hole thing
Katri: Oh lovely
Katri: Lowkey glad my mum died on that boat
Trucy Wright: YOUR MOM DIED ON A BOAT???
Katri: Yeah
Katri: It was coming over from America it was kinda like the Titanic
Katri: I am only alive today because my wonderful favourite uncle Luke rescued me
Katri: I really wish I was conscious enough to see my Dad’s face when he picked up his 15 year old pseudo-son from Southampton only to find he had somehow acquired an infant
Cody Hackins: Guys I’m so glad I’m normal
Bonny de Famme: If you’re normal my name is not Bonny
Cody Hackins: My Mom gave birth to me, kept me and is still married to my father and I have not experienced great distress at their hands
Betty de Famme: there’s still time
Cody Hackins: 😀What
Trucy Wright: Bro you witnessed a murder at 6
Cody Hackins: Oh yeah
Cody Hackins: Forgor
Katri: OH YES and Trucy’s Papa put you on the stand
Cody Hackins: Both of Trucy’s dads made me cry it was really funny
Trucy Wright: Who knew that three years later they would acquire a child permanently
Pearl Fey: I think your Dad had me to train on
Pearl Fey: The little rat that kept following him around insisting he had a crush on his 18 year old basically sister figure
Pearl Fey: I was a weerd kid
Trucy Wright: Nah you were just sheltered and in desperate need of stability in your life
Pearl Fey: True
Trucy Wright: Relatable tbh
Bonny de Famme: Lowkey
Betty de Famme: yeah we lived in caravan until we were 12 so
Trucy Wright: Magician core <3
Katri: Anyway back on topic?
Trucy Wright: Oh yeah
Trucy Wright: Ok so I gotta let her know that I know because I don’t remember whether Dad told her and he’s busy at the ELO rn so I can’t ask
Trucy Wright: So how is like
Trucy Wright: Hello, I don’t know how much you know about me now or if you know I know, but I am aware that I am your daughter.
Trucy Wright: And then something something gimme my bracelet
Betty de Famme: ok you type like chat gpt
Trucy Wright: EWWWWW
Trucy Wright: I JUST WANNA BE UNDERSTOOD
Betty de Famme: just be like hi, im trucy (your daughter, idk if dad told you but he told me), im opening up communication because i am willing to get to know you, however, i am becoming a lawyer and i have noticed that my brother apollo uses his bracelet a lot in court and i would like to use my abilities too. therefore i don’t wanna pretend that that’s not what im after for this because it is, but im ready to talk to you
Trucy Wright: YES
Trucy Wright: Does anyone have any notes
Pearl Fey: Be like APOLLO. MY BROTHER. MY BROTHER APOLLO YOU DIDNT TELL ME I HAD YOU KNOW APOLLO MY BROTHER
Trucy Wright: KJGFJEGFJHGEJ
Trucy Wright: Yeah real
Trucy Wright: Ok
Trucy Wright: Screenshot2.jpg
Trucy’s notes app again.
“Hi, it’s Trucy. Dad told me last year that you’re my Mom, although I’m not sure if he ever told you he did. I’m messaging you partly because I want to get to know you and I’m ready now, but also because I am becoming a lawyer. I’ve noticed that my brother Apollo -also a lawyer, though you know that since you met us- uses his Gramarye tells ability in court and it helps him out considerably and I was wanting to use it too, it’s a lot harder without the bracelet. I won’t pretend like I don’t have ulterior motives for messaging you because I would like my bracelet, but yeah. I’m ready to talk now, I hope you’re ready to talk to me.”
Trucy Wright: Does that work?
Bonny de Famme: Yeah perf
Katri: Makes sense yeah
Cody Hackins: Love how you brought up that she met both of you that’s crazy
Trucy Wright: Yeah
Trucy Wright: That part annoys me
Trucy Wright: Like I get she didn’t have her memory back, I get it
Trucy Wright: But if there’s anything that would jog your memory wouldn’t it be seeing your two kids right in front of you asking if the lettuce man was an international spy
Betty de Famme: FOR REAL
Betty de Famme: LIKE IM SORRY BUT HOW DID SHE NOT KNOW
Trucy Wright: I kinda get it like she only saw Apollo back when he was a baby and had a whole different name and everything and I was like 4 BUT STILL
Cody Hackins: Why did she leave Apollo again what was her excuse there
Trucy Wright: Oh she thought he died in the same fire his dad did idfk
Cody Hackins: And she didn’t check?
Cody Hackins: She didn’t check for the 13 years he was alive before she got shot?
Trucy Wright: Yup.
Trucy Wright: I don’t think Apollo will ever be on speaking terms with her tbh so much that went wrong in his life literally could have been avoided if she went back
Trucy Wright: Like he wouldn’t have a debilitating fear of deep water or getting abandoned at an airport or -as many- daddy issues and he would still like her music
Pearl Fey: Her music?
Trucy Wright: Yeah back when I first met him Apollo loved “Lamiroir” and her music but now he literally can’t listen to it it’s kinda sad
Trucy Wright: He used to have one of her songs as a ringtone and now he has another samurai show theme to complete our agency
Pearl Fey: That’s why nobody ever knows whose phone is ringing….
Trucy Wright: Yeah lol
Bonny de Famme: You’re procrastinating sending it btw
Trucy Wright: I KNOOOOOOOOWWWWW
Trucy Wright: ITS SCARYYYYYYYYYYY
Betty de Famme: PUSSY
Trucy Wright: FUCK YOUUUUUUU
Pearl Fey: If you don’t send it now you won’t send it all
Trucy Wright: So true actually
Trucy Wright: Ok
Private chat created between Lamiroir and Trucy Wright.
Trucy Wright: Hi, it’s Trucy. Dad told me last year that you’re my Mom, although I’m not sure if he ever told you he did. I’m messaging you partly because I want to get to know you and I’m ready now, but also because I am becoming a lawyer. I’ve noticed that my brother Apollo -also a lawyer, though you know that since you met us- uses his Gramarye tells ability in court and it helps him out considerably and I was wanting to use it too, it’s a lot harder without the bracelet. I won’t pretend like I don’t have ulterior motives for messaging you because I would like my bracelet, but yeah. I’m ready to talk now, I hope you’re ready to talk to me.
The message has not yet been opened.
Groupchat: Group Therapy
Trucy Wright: Screenshot3.jpg
The message sent.
Trucy Wright: Did it
Bonny de Famme: YAY OMG IM SO PROUD
Katri: Well done!!!
Betty de Famme: good job man
Cody Hackins: Sick one
Pearl Fey: PROUD OF YOUUUUUU
Trucy Wright: Thanks guyyyyyss
Trucy Wright: I am going to throw my phone into the sun
Pearl Fey: Wait befor you go
Pearl Fey: Can everyone rate diego’s new visor (?)
Pearl Fey: peepaw.jpg
It’s Diego… except you can see his eyes? His visor has been replaced with a very thick pair of metal glasses, the lenses red. He looks slightly alarmed, recoiling from whoever is taking the picture who is unexpectedly more clear than he is used to. The scarring on his face is visible, but without the visor he looks older.
Trucy Wright: SLAY???? I’VE NEVER SEEN HIM WITHOUT THE MASK????
Pearl Fey: IKR!!!!
Betty de Famme: dilf
Pearl Fey: Shut up omggggg
Betty de Famme: no but those are so cool
Bonny de Famme: Does it work the same as his visor?
Pearl Fey: I think so?
Pearl Fey: It might let him see more actually
Pearl Fey: Either way he seems lightly afraid of the world
Cody Hackins: Tbh I would be too if I had been getting blinder for the last 10 years and then BAM
Cody Hackins: Sight
Katri: I think they look very nice
Pearl Fey: I will pass your complaments on
Pearl Fey: He is very self conshos
Pearl Fey: Conshous
Pearl Fey: Conscious?
Trucy Wright: Got it!
Pearl Fey: YESSSS
Pearl Fey: I’m so good at word
Trucy Wright: You are <3
Pearl Fey: <3
Trucy Wright: Anyway I’m gonna pull a Pollo and immerse myself in paperwork instead of dealing with my problems
Cody Hackins: Based as fuck
Trucy Wright: Speak to you later hordes
Katri: Guys who remain
Katri: Is this beef burger raw or not
Katri: help.jpg
It’s an image of a rather concerned-looking Ernest Greeves dressed in a red tie, white shirt and a black blazer with a school logo on. He holds a very pale-looking burger, one bun in one hand and the patty and second bun in the other, the patty has been slightly broken up revealing a really pink inside. It’s weird, the outside is grey like it's been overcooked but the inside is definitely raw.
Betty de Famme: WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT
Bonny de Famme: YEAH THAT’S RAW DON’T EAT THAT
Cody Hackins: Why does it look like that I’m actually screaming
Pearl Fey: NOT GOOD!!!
Katri: Ok good we weren’t quite sure
Pearl Fey: That’s our boy right?
Katri: Ye
Pearl Fey: He looks sweet
Katri: Ok gonna go complain to the staff
Cody Hackins: Your school uniform is weird man
Cody Hackins: Why are you wearing a tie to school
Katri: Because we’re not allowed to not
Katri: We can’t even take it off when it’s hot
Katri: We have to ask to take the blazer off
Betty de Famme: crazy shit
Betty de Famme: ernest looks like he should be wearing a bow tie
Betty de Famme: idk why
Katri: No I get what you mean
Katri: A little bow tie and a pinstripe suit
Betty de Famme: he’s so mary poppins core
Bonny de Famme: His hair is green? Is he the joker?
Katri: Nah it’s just the lighting it does that to everyone
Katri: proof.jpg
A selfie of Katrielle as she waits in line to speak to the cafeteria staff, you can’t see any faces behind her but you can see somebody’s torso. Her hair is in a plait and she’s wearing the same tie, shirt and blazer as Ernest who can be seen way in the background, except there is a little top hat pin on her lapel. The lighting does indeed make her hair look green.
Cody Hackins: Your school feels so ominous and for what reason
Katri: It’s because it was built in the 1600s so it's lowkey so haunted
Katri: They found a dead baby in the walls when they renovated the old dorm rooms and we know for a fact that a horse is buried in the school field
Katri: I’ve been here after dark before and the vibes were atrocious
Pearl Fey: I would love to study this
Pearl Fey: Actually wait question
Pearl Fey: There is a girl behind you
Pearl Fey: Right by your shoulder
Pearl Fey: Hauntingquestionmark.jpg
It’s the picture again but zoomed in to a specific part right over Katri’s left shoulder. There is nothing there.
Katri: Mama a girl behind you
Katri: Yeah Pearly I don’t see anything
Katri: FREAKY
Pearl Fey: Well she looks friendly!
Pearl Fey: Her hair is really old fashioned, like we’re talking colonial core
Katri: Huh
Katri: Ok 1800s girl in the walls we love you
Betty de Famme: god this is a weird friend group
Bonny de Famme: Perfectly normal tbh
Cody Hackins: I am staying out of this haunting business I cannot be messing with the occult
Pearl Fey: Scardy cat
Katri: Fuck it I’ve got ten minutes left of break I’m planning a ghost hunt with Ernest
Cody Hackins: Normal 14 year old activities
Pearl Fey: Normal for me!
Cody Hackins: This house is a fucking nightmare
Betty de Famme: get on top of the fridge
Katri: Huh
Cody Hackins: Vine
Katri: I was born in 2015
Betty de Famme: jesus christ
Cody Hackins: Tbf vine wasn’t discontinued until 2017
Cody Hackins: If the Professor was cooler you would know about it
Katri: Unfortunately my father didn’t know what TikTok was until last week so I doubt he’d know what Vine was enough to be aware of its cultural relevance
Pearl Fey: He banned you from Twitter tho?
Katri: Alfendi
Pearl Fey: Makes sense
Katri: Anyway I got a refund on the burger
Betty de Famme: thank fuck that was a health hazard
Groupchat: why am I the only one popping their pussy right now -mia fey, posthumously
Athena Cykes: how are peace talks
Apollo Justice: Going well
Apollo Justice: Laura has agreed to let us help investigate
Athena Cykes: nice
Athena Cykes: did you tell her the theory
Apollo Justice: About Kristoph?
Apollo Justice: Yeah
Athena Cykes: and she said….?
Apollo Justice: Sorry I am so tired
Apollo Justice: Basically we told her all we know and she sorta paled and was like oh god this is so much worse than I thought
Apollo Justice: And then we reassured her and gave her case details and files we have of the people involved and what to argue in court
Apollo Justice: So basically it will be so fine
Apollo Justice: Also Wright told me she’s Edgeworth’s cousin and it’s so fucking obvious once you know
Athena Cykes: lol nice
Athena Cykes: ok that’s good
Apollo Justice: It’ll probably all be resolved by the end of the trial today
Athena Cykes: sick one
Athena Cykes: we can stop worrying about that plot point now
Apollo Justice: I mean not really because it is very much a thing that prison security really needs to crack down on these guys with vendettas against defense attorneys before one of us actually dies
Apollo Justice: But yeah we good for now
Phoenix Wright: Miles has also said he’s putting Callabichi on the case who has no ties to us or Kristoph so they’ll be safe and so will we
Apollo Justice: Oh perfect
Apollo Justice: I can breathe a sigh of relief
Apollo Justice: Well I mean Klavier will be in mental anguish for a while because it’s so fucked up that his brother wants him dead like idk how you cope with that
Athena Cykes: can actually safely say this is something none of us have actually ever experienced
Athena Cykes: which goes to show just how fucked it is
Athena Cykes: because we have all been through the blending machine route of life
Maya Fey: actually the best way to describe it
Maya Fey: i’ve had my aunt want me dead does that count
Pearl Fey: I don’t think Dahlia wanted me dead but who knows!
Maya Fey: i don’t think so
Maya Fey: idk we literally exorcised her spirit so even if we wanted to know we couldn’t ask
Pearl Fey: Yeah
Pearl Fey: Can we do the same to Manfred von Karma he keeps hanging around and he’s actually really annoying
Phoenix Wright: LOL DOES HE ACTUALLY
Pearl Fey: Yeah
Pearl Fey: Lowkey he’s always hear because Franny
Pearl Fey: And he’s really distracting as a person
Phoenix Wright: You know at the time I was like big in saviour complex omg its so sad what he did to Miles mode to actually realise how funny he was as a concept
Athena Cykes: explain?????
Phoenix Wright: You know
Phoenix Wright: Old man who got so twisted up about receiving a penalty that he killed his rival and then adopted his kid with the express purpose of getting revenge
Phoenix Wright: Like objectively it’s funny
Phoenix Wright: It’s so petty
Phoenix Wright: Like Miles and I will sit back sometimes and go yeah that was fucked up but so jokes
Athena Cykes: actually you know what i kinda get it
Athena Cykes: if we can’t joke about it what can we do
Apollo Justice: It’s giving “get out of my school”
Maya Fey: maybe he did just wanna fuck greg idk
Phoenix Wright: Maybe he did
Athena Cykes: was he hot
Phoenix Wright: He looked like my husband just without the bangs
Phoenix Wright: But also he was my father in law I objectively cannot say whether he was hot or not
Athena Cykes: everyone wants to fuck the chief prosecutor apparently so
Phoenix Wright: Well they’re not gonna get to
Phoenix Wright: Anyway back to the concept of Manfred von Karma
Phoenix Wright: Does he argue with Gregory’s ghost Pearl
Pearl Fey: They have yet to be in the same room with me
Pearl Fey: I imagine they will not get along
Phoenix Wright: Yeah I bet
Phoenix Wright: Such a weird guy tho
Maya Fey: you forgot about the taser the taser was so fucking funny
Maya Fey: it hurt like hell but the concept. the drama
Maya Fey: it was camp
Phoenix Wright: Avant-guarde
Phoenix Wright: OMG AND THE PARROT MAYA
Phoenix Wright: REMEMBER HE RETRAINED THE FUCKING PARROT
Phoenix Wright: WHO DOES THAT
Phoenix Wright: LIKE BRINGING THE PARROT ON THE STAND WAS SO INSANE AND OUT OF LEFT FIELD FOR ME AND THEN BAM HE’S THOUGHT OF IT?????
Maya Fey: I FORGOT ABOUT THE PARROT THAT WAS SO FUNNY
Apollo Justice: I would like to say things have gotten better or changed in that regard but then again Mr Wright did defend an orca
Phoenix Wright: On my first case back no less
Athena Cykes: how many animals have you cross-examined
Phoenix Wright: Two parrots and an orca
Apollo Justice: It’s a fucking miracle the ELO even accepted our help
Phoenix Wright: Ikr
Phoenix Wright: Turnabout Terror more like Turnabout Trainwreck
Trucy Wright: Please stop referencing the turnabout terror name it’s so lame
Phoenix Wright: Was wondering where you got to
Trucy Wright: Paperwork
Trucy Wright: I texted Lamiroir and I don’t wanna see her response so I made Charley look after my phone
Apollo Justice: Oh shit what did you say
Trucy Wright: Screenshot3.jpg
Apollo Justice: Lol nice I like it
Phoenix Wright: Yeah polite yet threatening I approve
Trucy Wright: I got like all of my friends to help me
Trucy Wright: And also found out Katrielle’s mom died on a boat in the process
Phoenix Wright: Oh yeah Hershel told me about that
Phoenix Wright: When we were filling out all the adoption paperwork he refused to do at the time
Phoenix Wright: You know
Phoenix Wright: 10 years after the fact
Trucy Wright: Jesus
Trucy Wright: Didn’t you do yours in 2 weeks or am I misremembering
Phoenix Wright: Eh sorta?
Phoenix Wright: I did the stuff you had to look over in those 2 weeks you decided to live on your own
Trucy Wright: Shhhhh
Phoenix Wright: And then I called in Miles to help with the rest of the legal stuff
Maya Fey: oh yeah didn’t he help you with the social worker
Phoenix Wright: Yeah we pretended we were dating for like a solid month to make sure they let me have Trucy
Trucy Wright: And you still didn’t figure out that you were madly in love with him
Phoenix Wright: No I very much knew
Phoenix Wright: I took what I could
Phoenix Wright: So technically we had our first kiss before I confessed it was crazy
Athena Cykes: EXCUSE ME
Phoenix Wright: Just on the cheek
Phoenix Wright: I think it was pure instinct on his part but it killed me at the time
Trucy Wright: Was this when we left the house at like 7 in the morning to
Trucy Wright: And I quote
Trucy Wright: Buy beans
Phoenix Wright: Yeah
Phoenix Wright: Couldn’t think of an excuse so I just took you to buy beans
Phoenix Wright: And then we went to gossip with Maya for 5 hours
Maya Fey: im so good at that
Phoenix Wright: I love gossip I get it from mom
Athena Cykes: i’ve never met your mom can i meet your mom
Maya Fey: i love nicks mom
Phoenix Wright: Please don’t say what you’re about to say
Maya Fey: milf
Phoenix Wright: Jesus Christ
Phoenix Wright: I got enough of this from Larry growing up
Maya Fey: nicky’s mom has got it going on
Maya Fey: i missed her lots and ive waited for so long
Maya Fey: nicky can’t you see you’re just not the guy for me
Maya Fey: i know it might be wrong but im in love with nicky’s mom
Phoenix Wright: Watch it or I’ll send screenshots to your wife
Maya Fey: she approves of this
Phoenix Wright: Are you joking
Phoenix Wright: Why does everyone wanna fuck my mom
Maya Fey: because its a really funny bit
Maya Fey: its like when we victimise apollo
Athena Cykes: which we cannot do today because he is like one extraneous task away from fainting
Apollo Justice: 👍
Apollo Justice: I feel like I can taste colors
Trucy Wright: Dude are you ok
Trucy Wright: You can nap on the couch nobody will judge you
Apollo Justice: I’m a serious lawyer I don’t nap on couches
Apollo Justice: What if we had client
Phoenix Wright: Client could wait
Phoenix Wright: Please go and rest
Apollo Justice: K
Athena Cykes: and there he goes
Trucy Wright: Like a fallen tree
Phoenix Wright: You know the slide whistle sound
Trucy Wright: Omg yeah
Phoenix Wright: Bless him
Private chat between Franziska von Karma and Miles Edgeworth
Fran: I am doing a deep clean of my office
Fran: Possibly too deep considering I am stumbling across Manfred’s things
Fran: Including, inexplicably, this
Fran: Explain.jpg
A pair of glasses. Very familiar glasses. Gregory’s glasses?
Little Brother: What?
Little Brother: Why would he have those?
Fran: I don’t know
Fran: They were in the back of a drawer behind those cigarettes he pretended he didn’t smoke when he was stressed
Fran: Bizarre
Little Brother: My father’s glasses were given to me when he died, this must be another pair
Little Brother: Very weird
Fran: Creepy
Little Brother: We don’t know why he had them to be fair
Fran: My mind immediately wants to go “token”
Fran: “Reminder of his curse”
Little Brother: He already had me is that not reminder enough
Fran: Good point
Little Brother: Why would he need another? Especially one he pushed so far back in his drawer?
Fran: He was a very strange man
Little Brother: Yes he was
Little Brother: I remember when I came out and his only response was “ok, find a boyfriend then, don’t be imperfect”
Fran: Yeah 😭
Fran: NO WAIT
Fran: Remember the first coming out???
Little Brother: Oh God my bisexual phase
Fran: YES
Little Brother: And he essentially just came out back to me
Fran: “Sir, I like both women and men I think”
Fran: “Doesn’t everyone?”
Fran: No old man you just never realised you were bisexual
Little Brother: For a man who was so
Little Brother: You know
Little Brother: Like That in the 70s
Fran: Yes his Adam and the Ants cosplay era
Little Brother: Is it an era if it persists until you are 65
Fran: You’re one to talk your Dad was a goth
Little Brother: Yes but he was cool
Little Brother: Your father was Manfred von Karma
Fran: True
Fran: In another life they would have been friends I think
Little Brother: Without the law and the murder I think a lot of us would have different relationships with each other
Fran: Would you have ever dated Phoenix Wright if he didn’t defend you for murder discuss
Little Brother: Hard to say
Little Brother: Considering the outcome of that case would likely be my imprisonment then probably not
Fran: I would have come over and defected I think
Fran: What if I just became a defense attorney
Little Brother: That’s very random
Fran: Maya made me think about it
Little Brother: You enjoy your prosecutorial and interpol work
Little Brother: Do you just need something new?
Fran: I think I have gotten too good at everything
Fran: I don’t know how to improve
Fran: I’m too perfect
Little Brother: Christ are you hearing yourself
Fran: But it’s true
Fran: I don’t understand how Manfred did this for 40 years
Little Brother: Because he wasn’t doing it correctly
Little Brother: His method of perfection involved constant work, evidence manipulation, forgery, witness intimidation, it’s not your careful brand of actual work
Fran: Maybe I just need a really juicy murder case
Little Brother: Maybe you do
Fran: Anyway, do you want your father’s glasses?
Little Brother: Yes please
Fran: I have also found another chocolate orange
Little Brother: What is with this man and his chocolate oranges????
Little Brother: There were ten in the Germany office alone?????
Fran: Tell me about it
Fran: There were three in his drawers but two of them were open and had new life forms in them
Little Brother: Do you just not use his desk drawers?
Fran: I only use the top two and the big filing cabinet I do not need this many drawers
Fran: Do you also want the chocolate orange?
Little Brother: Is it edible?
Fran: I’ll check
Fran: Nope, tastes like wax
Little Brother: Bin it
Fran: I HAVE FOUND A PHOTO????
Little Brother: Oh?
Fran: Intriguing.jpg
It’s a photo of a polaroid picture that looks to be from the late 80s. In it, a much younger Manfred von Karma seems to have been forcefully pushed into the frame by two younger defense attorneys, one either side. One seems to have Edgeworth’s hair albeit only the bangs and a very punk explosion behind it, the other is clearly Gregory Edgeworth.
Little Brother: Huh????
Little Brother: Curiouser and curiouser…
Fran: Is your Dad wearing eyeliner
Little Brother: Probably
Fran: Runs in the family
Little Brother: My emo phase is speculation alone
Fran: I was literally there
Little Brother: YOUR Dad is wearing eyeliner
Fran: True actually
Fran: I rate the cunty little outfit actually
Little Brother: He looks so annoyed
Fran: Hmm not really
Fran: There’s a little smile there
Little Brother: No there isn’t
Fran: Yes there is
Fran: Idiot.jpg
A zoomed in version of the previous picture. There is, indeed, a very tiny smile on Manfred’s face.
Little Brother: Well I never
Fran: So something changed
Little Brother: Hmm?
Fran: By the time the penalty came around, they despised each other, they were enemies
Fran: This looks like yours and Phoenix Wright’s specific brand of enemies in 2016
Fran: Which is very different
Little Brother: I must admit I do find it hard to fully accept that one of these men would kill the other
Little Brother: And then my mother is simply there
Fran: Sophia simply vibing
Little Brother: Anything on the back?
Fran: Reverse.jpg
A note written in pencil. “November 8th, 1988.” and then in different, far messier handwriting “You can have the stupid photo, save your perfect image”.
Little Brother: Hmm
Little Brother: How bizarre
Little Brother: Thank you Fran, let me know if you find anything else
Fran: Well
Fran: Right now I have found a small family of spiders
Fran: A large family of spiders actually
Little Brother: Would you like some help?
Fran: Bitte
Little Brother: On my way
Groupchat: Miles and Phoenix's chat for the archival of anything interesting
Miles Edgeworth: Look what Fran found in her office
Miles Edgeworth: 1988photofront.jpg
Miles Edgeworth: 1988photoreverse.jpg
Phoenix Wright: What the hell
Miles Edgeworth: And also Gregory’s glasses inexplicably in one of Manfred’s desk drawers
Miles Edgeworth: So I’m not sure where to go with this one
Miles Edgeworth: But at least I have a photo of my mother
Phoenix Wright: Always good to have
Phoenix Wright: No that’s so weird what does this mean
Miles Edgeworth: …We could always ask
Phoenix Wright: Miles are you sure
Phoenix Wright: You’ve never wanted to ask them to channel Gregory before, are you actually sure
Miles Edgeworth: I will have to think about it
Miles Edgeworth: However, it would be good to ask my questions directly to the source
Miles Edgeworth: And being that I actually can unlike most people in my position
Miles Edgeworth: I think I should at least consider it
Phoenix Wright: Ok
Phoenix Wright: I’ll support you either way you plan to go
Miles Edgeworth: I know you will <3
Phoenix Wright: <3
Phoenix Wright: Oh
Phoenix Wright: Quick ask actually
Miles Edgeworth: What do you need?
Phoenix Wright: Are you swinging by for lunch today?
Miles Edgeworth: Yes?
Phoenix Wright: Can you get a blanket and pillow from home?
Phoenix Wright: Apollo barely slept last night and had like a ten minute nap on the couch before his back started protesting and I wanna make sure he gets some rest
Miles Edgeworth: Duly noted, I will do so
Phoenix Wright: Thank you, love you
Miles Edgeworth: Love you too
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