Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Sora stumbled and fell forwards into the snow, coughing and cursing their bad luck and the lack of moonlight again. Traversing the North Mountain was far more difficult in the dark.

They should have taken a break between missions... In normal circumstances, they would have, but Elsa and Anna had asked for help, and none of them were going to make them wait. Usually, Elsa took care of the Heartless that occasionally came down from the mountains, her magic more than enough to take them down. But right now she and Anna had more pressing things to deal with. They didn't know all the details, just that the Queen and her sister had been in a rush to leave, their people and Kingdom in danger from an unknown threat that had something to do with their past. To make matters worse, whatever was going on seemed to have triggered a surge in powerful Heartless as well.

And so they had left at once for Arendelle, no time for rest. It had been a mistake. 

It was his fault Kairi had broken her leg and ankle so badly. He'd known she and Riku were both exhausted, and, though he hadn't said anything, Sora knew Riku's wrist was causing him pain, the cold aggravating the old injury. He should have been more careful, should have been more alert to his surroundings. He was the one who had fought those damn Frost Serpents in that exact same crevasse before. He should have known better.

But no, instead he'd been too busy enjoying himself, more concerned with showing Riku and Kairi just how brilliant the mountain could be than he was with their safety. He'd just wanted to lift their spirits a bit as they made their way back to Arendelle, knowing how worn out and sick of the snow they were. In all honesty, his had needed some lifting too. The mild cold he had come down with the moment they arrived still hadn't resolved itself, and the constant sniffing and sneezing were starting to grate on his nerves.

And so he had turned his thoughts to fun, instead of protecting Riku and Kairi. 

Because of that, he hadn't noticed the tell-tale spears in the ground. He'd been trying to make them smile when he dashed up the cliff face and shook the bushes at the top, dropping berries down onto their heads and laughing. He had succeeded at that at least. They had been laughing too, until the Frost Serpents erupted from beneath their feet. He and Riku had watched in horror as Kairi was thrown through the air and against the cliff face, then roared and leapt at the monsters.

Riku had been bloodied by the end of the fight, with an awful gash on his thigh and along his already injured arm, but it was only when they dashed to Kairi's side and saw the horrible angle of her lower leg and ankle that they realised how much damage the Heartless had done. She'd been sending off so many fire spells from her prone position during the fight that they'd assumed she was fine. It turned out she really, really wasn't.

Thankfully the single cut Sora had escaped with had been shallow, barely a scratch and nothing compared to the deep gashes down Riku's arm and leg and the bruises Kairi was covered in, so they hadn't had to share the potions or healing magic with him as well. These days his and Kairi's magic abilities almost rivalled Aqua's but they'd been so exhausted, injured, and, in his case, sick, that even they had been able to cast nothing more powerful than Cura.

He sneezed again and another bout of coughing quickly ensued and he had to stop his slow march while he waited for it to pass. He didn't fancy stumbling and falling again as he made his way down the steep snowy path in the dark. God he hoped he got to the bottom soon. His face and hands were completely numb. How he had managed this without a coat in the past, he didn't know.

Riku and Kairi had both tried to convince him not to tackle the trek down the mountain alone during the night but had been forced to relent. "You're both hurt, I know the mountain, and we need to get you to a hospital fast Kairi!" He'd told them, and they'd both grimaced at the logic of what he said. He'd grinned at them as he balled up his fists in front of him. "I'll be back with the gummi ship before you know it!"

He'd left the two of them huddled up in their tent just after sundown, and it was dawn by the time he finally reached the ship. He collapsed into the pilot's seat and, no time to lose, sped back up the mountain.

Riku came to join Sora in the cockpit after helping Kairi get comfortable in the gummi ship bunks, or as comfortable as possible with her leg so badly broken. "You've been up all night Sora, you should get some sleep," Riku tried to insist. "I can drive the rest of the way."

Sora shook his head though, quickly stopping as it made him a little dizzy. "Don't think I haven't noticed how much your wrist is bothering you." Of course, it had to have been Riku's left arm that took the brunt of the Heartless attacks. Their luck lately really had been the worst.

"Is it that obvious?" Riku asked with a crooked smile.

"It is to me," Sora told him firmly, trying and failing to look stern. He was pleased with how well he could read Riku these days. "How's the rest of your arm? And your leg?" They'd done what they could for the cuts, but they'd been pretty deep. 

"Well they aren't bleeding now, but I think this one's getting infected," he said as he peaked under the makeshift bandage around his arm. 

"Oh no!" Sora only half registered the strange popping sounds in his lungs his gasp had triggered.

"Don't worry I'll get them checked out at the hospital," Riku chuckled at Sora's horror, then put a hand on his hip and looked at him more seriously. "Are you sure you're not going to fall asleep up here?"

Sora waved him off. "It's just a few hours to Radiant Garden, I can stay-" he abruptly broke off into a hacking cough as something caught in his chest. Riku was at his side at once, a hand on Sora's back and concern on his face.

When the coughing fit passed Riku rubbed his back gently. "You still sure that's just from the weather?"

"Nah, I think I might be sick," Sora said with a sigh, but pulled the smile back onto his face, trying to ignore the stabbing pain the cough had left behind in his lungs. "It's just a cold though, I'll be fine after some sleep." He had dismissed his coughing and congestion as just a reaction to the dry, freezing air at first, but by now the discomfort in his chest and faint fever had him convinced he was unwell. The cut on his side was still stinging as well, but they were almost home-free. Some rest and some magic and he'd be back to normal.

"Uh-huh..." Riku sounded a little doubtful, but he could interrogate Sora further once they were out of here, and Kairi was safe in hospital. "We better get to Radiant Garden quick then, I'll call Leon and see if we can crash at his. Give me a yell if you're falling asleep at the wheel though, OK?"

Sora nodded, fairly sure if he tried to talk again right now he'd start coughing. Riku gave him a kiss on the top of the head, then left to sit with Kairi in the bunk room below. How she was coping with the pain without constantly screaming Sora didn't know, but he was sure she'd appreciate someone's hand to squeeze right now. He didn't envy Riku in that situation. He chuckled, then sneezed. He really was starting to feel quite bad.

He lifted his shirt to check the scratch on his side and groaned. The skin surrounding it had turned an angry red and it felt far too warm when he touched it. Infected as well... Those Frost Serpents must have had something nasty on their sharp wings. He'd have to go see Aerith later. He'd much rather get her to look at it than get stuck at the hospital. He sneezed again, and tried to focus on the controls.

The nurse paused and looked up from Riku's arm as Sora's coughing continued. "That sounds pretty bad." 

"It's-" his voice caught on the gravel in his throat again, but he managed to stifle it, swallow, and keep going. "It's just a cold." He tried to smile but the nurse was giving him a searching look.

"How long have you had it?"

"Umm..."

"A few days," Riku answered for him. "It does sound a lot worse than yesterday Sora."

It felt worse than yesterday as well, but he wasn't sure what else they could expect after he'd spent the whole night trudging through knee-deep snow in the wind and dark. He just needed some rest and then he'd be fine though. It had been far too long since he'd slept (unless you counted the 15 minutes or so he'd spent snoozing on Riku's shoulder) let alone had a full night's sleep in a warm bed. The tent they'd taken up the North Mountain had kept them warm enough, but it had still been a chilly and uncomfortable few nights.

"Could one of you call the doctor back down? This guy needs to be checked out as well," the nurse called over his shoulder before Sora could say anything. 

"No, no, it's fine!" The possibility of staying here longer made Sora feel even worse. He didn't like hospitals. Really didn't like them. These places, or anything medical if he was honest, made him anxious these days, ever since he had come back from Quadratum and been forced to spend so much time bedridden from injuries, with Baymax and his friends having to take care of him. Seeing hospital patients, doctors, and nurses all around him reminded him far too much of that, and of the castle laboratory...

They'd been here for so many hours he thought it must be close to midday by now. They'd spent most of their time sitting with Kairi, keeping her company and trying to distract her from the pain while they waited for them to take her into surgery. Riku had disappeared for a while when they first arrived to get his cut checked, returning soon after with his injuries bound up in bandages. Since then they'd just sat and waited, Sora feeling worse with every hour that went by, dozing on Riku's shoulder and trying to ignore the constant itch in his lungs.

All he wanted right now was to get to Aerith's place to get his scratch checked, then go collapse into bed in the spare room at Leon's place. Waiting even longer just so a doctor could take his temperature and confirm yes, he did in fact have a cold, was the last thing he wanted to do. He just needed to sleep it off. He and Riku could go to Leon's for a few hours, then come back and check on Kairi when she was out of surgery. But the longer they hung around here, the less time they'd get to sleep.

"I'd really feel more comfortable if the doctor checked you over as well," the nurse told him, in a kind yet firm voice.

Sora was relieved when he turned his attention back to Riku's wound, that really seemed like it should be the priority right now. Riku had been right that it was getting infected. He had been given strict instructions to come back if it didn't heal up or he felt ill, and the nurse had insisted on checking it before they left, wanting to make sure the infection wasn't worsening. That was another reason Sora didn't want to wait around. The sooner he could ask Aerith to check on his cut the better.

Riku was still staring at him and Sora wanted to tell him, again, not to worry, but he didn't even have the energy for that anymore. He really needed some sleep... He gave a sudden shiver. Needed to get warm as well. It was hours since they left the snow of Arendelle, but he still felt cold. He was regretting swapping his warm winter coat for his usual light jacket now. Maybe he should nip back to the Gummi ship to get it...

He dropped his gaze to the floor and sniffed loudly, trying to clear his nose so he could breathe through that instead of his burning throat. He realised quickly it was a pointless endeavour. He hoped the doctor didn't take too long.  He was so dizzy by now he'd probably pass out if he didn't go to bed soon, he must have been awake for well over 24 hours by now. That strange crackling sound in his chest was getting worse too.

"Sora?"

He jerked his head up as a hand grasped his shoulder. "Huh?" 

Riku had reached out for him and was looking even more concerned than before. Sora turned from him to the nurse, who was staring at him as well. "I said do you have any injuries too? Any cuts or scratches?" He hadn't realised the nurse had been talking to him.

Crap. "Oh, uh yeah but it's nothing, it's already heal-" He was cut off as yet another dam cough wracked his body. He felt a wave of nausea. That was new... Maybe he'd been wrong and this actually was the flu. Their bad luck continues...

He stood up quickly, still hacking into his elbow. He needed to get to the bathroom fast if he didn't want to make a scene in front of Riku and the already-suspicious nurse. He waved them both off as they stood up to help him, but couldn't take in enough air to get the words out.

"Sora, you need to sit back down," he heard the nurse's voice from somewhere distant as the room grew hazy around him, and he reached out a hand to grasp the doorframe. His lungs seemed to be constricting, rubber bands wrapping around them and squeezing them tight. Maybe sitting down would be a good idea. Although lying down sounded even better right now... 

His head started spinning.

Sora's knees buckled and Riku dived, only just reaching him in time to stop his head cracking against the cold vinyl floor as he got an arm beneath his neck and shoulders. He cradled his head, ignoring the pain shooting down his arm and leg. "Sora! Hey, Sora!"

Sora wasn't coughing anymore, but Riku would have vastly preferred that to the horrible wheezing, grating sounds his lungs were making now, and the sight of his eyes half open and almost entirely white. People in hospital scrubs immediately swarmed them, their voices a cacophony. The nurse who'd just seconds ago been tending to his arm was now crouched beside them. "Where's he hurt?"

"His left side, but..." He trailed off as the nurse pulled Sora's shirt up and revealed a wound that was far from healed. The skin surrounding it was scarlet and swollen, streaks of pink stretching out across Sora's abdomen, and Riku's stomach lurched at the sight of something wet and white extending along the line where a closed scab should have been.

"It... it was just a scratch..." No one heard his murmurs though, as the people surrounding him called out commands and questions he didn't understand. He felt Sora's head shift in his lap, his eyes clenched shut as he groaned. "Sora?" He ran a hand through his hair but he didn't respond or open his eyes. Riku wasn't quite sure where they were anymore as he put a hand on Sora's cheek, trying to keep them both calm as Sora scrunched his face up in obvious pain.

A doctor was crouching at Sora's side now as well, pressing a stethoscope to his chest, and someone else was lifting his eyelid, shining a penlight in it and asking him questions Riku couldn't hear, but Sora didn't answer because now he was coughing again, choking, his lips turning purple. Everything was happening so fast. 

He felt the weight in his lap disappear and Sora's hair was no longer threaded through his fingers. Riku stared blankly at the empty space Sora's body had filled, confused for a moment, then turned to see him being lifted onto a gurney, away from him. Out of his reach. He wanted to stand up and get back to him, but hands grabbed his shoulders from behind and pressed down as he tried to move. He could have thrown them off in an instant but a firm voice in his ear was telling him he needed to let the doctors take care of him. So he stayed where he was.

They rolled him away. Away down the hall through double doors that swung shut behind them with a thud.

"It's pneumonia."

All the staff in this hospital seemed to share the same kind and patient demeanour. The doctor who had come to speak with him in the empty waiting room was no exception. He suspected it had something to do with working in a hospital in a prosperous world at peace where not much seemed to happen these days. Judging by how quickly they'd been able to schedule Kairi in for surgery they weren't particularly stretched for resources. Thank goodness they'd come to Radiant Garden.

"We had to insert a chest drain to help him breathe, and, as you saw, he has quite a severe infection from the cut he sustained, which has likely triggered sepsis." She looked back down at the folder of papers in her hands, did doctors call those charts? Riku was sure he'd heard that in a tv drama at some point. 

"I don't get it, it was just a scratch..." he murmured, still reeling from the sight of it. Why hadn't he checked to see if Sora's was infected as well... They should have brought more potions. They wouldn't have helped with the infection, but if they'd healed the cut straight away...

"I suspect it would have been fine if he hadn't already been sick," the doctor explained. "His immune system was already under stress so it was much easier for the infection to develop." Not to mention trekking through the snow all night, Riku thought miserably. "Thankfully we were able to start treatment before he developed more serious sepsis, though it was a close call, just a few more hours and things could have been much worse."

"Does that mean he'll be OK?"

"It's still a little too early to say. We have him on antibiotics now and we're waiting on some tests to confirm that is the right course of action. We'll be keeping him closely monitored in the meantime." The kindness in her eyes was tinged with sympathy. "A full recovery is the more likely scenario, but I'm afraid I can't guarantee that yet."

Riku nodded slowly, appreciating her honesty. "Can I see him?"

"Of course." She gestured for him to follow her. "I expect he's sleeping now. He's your... boyfriend? Friend?"

"Boyfriend."

"He wouldn't stop asking about you, and your friend Kairi," she said with an amused tone. It sounded almost affectionate. As usual, Sora seemed to have endeared people to him the moment he met them. "He barely knew what was happening, but I think he was worried about her surgery and you being upset more than anything else."

He gave a half-hearted smile. "Yeah, that sounds like him."

It's how he got himself into this mess...

He was prepared to see Sora unconscious in a hospital bed. He wasn't prepared for the IV in his arm though. Or the oxygen mask on his face. Or the clip on his finger leading to a monitor beside the bed, flashing numbers he didn't fully understand. Worst of all though was the tube trailing out from the blankets, leading from his left side to a container hanging down from the edge of the bed. There were lines on it for measuring liquid. Riku looked away quickly.

"It would be best to let him keep sleeping for now," the doctor said softly. "The tests should come back in a few hours and I'll let you know the results. Don't hesitate to call for the nurse if you think anything is wrong." She pointed to a button above the bed. Riku hoped he wouldn't have to use it. He tried to thank her but his voice came out so shaky he wasn't sure if he'd really managed any words. She understood though. She gave him a final nod and left.

He pulled a chair up, making sure to sit on the opposite side of the bed to the chest drain he didn't want to think about. He took Sora's hand and spent some time simply watching him, trying to absorb what he was really seeing. Sora's skin was shining with sweat, and his chest was rising and falling much faster than it should have while he was asleep. They'd raised the head of the bed slightly to keep him propped up, presumably yet another thing they'd had to do to try and keep him breathing.

Riku traced his collarbones with his eyes, following them to where they disappeared beneath the blue hospital gown. He wondered how the cut on his side was looking now. Hopefully it had started improving, and his torso wasn't still streaked with red. 

"Why'd you let yourself get so sick you dummy..."  He was going to give him an ear full when he woke up. Kairi would probably help with that when she found out about this. He ran his thumb along Sora's knuckles, a horrible mix of fear and frustration burning his throat. But then Sora crinkled his nose in his sleep and let out a tiny murmur, and Riku felt his anger melt away. How Sora still managed to be so cute with a breathing mask strapped to his face was beyond him. 

He checked his phone and sighed. Kairi probably wouldn't be out of recovery for another few hours. Back to sitting and waiting for the two of them to wake up.

Chapter Text

When Sora's consciousness began gradually returning he found his body feeling abnormally heavy, as if pinned down by a great weight. Maybe it was more snow piled on top of him because he was still shivering and freezing. More than anything though, everything hurt. Everything hurt a lot.

He pried his eyes open and the pain in his head briefly intensified as bright artificial light hit him. He didn't recognise the ceiling above him or the bed he now realised he was lying in. As his eyes adjusted to the light from the fluorescent tubes he looked around. The room was unfamiliar as well, though he couldn't be certain with his vision still full of static.

Someone was sitting beside him with a hand on his. Whoever it was seemed to be staring down at something in their hand, but looked up at the sound of Sora shifting his head across the pillow. "Hey." Sora recognised the voice and silvery hair. He blinked a few times, and Riku came into focus.

"Hey." His voice sounded strange. Croaky, and somehow echoey.

Riku smiled at him, but he didn't look at all happy. He looked sad, why was Riku sad? 

He wanted to ask but something was covering his nose and mouth, and its edges were pressing uncomfortably into his cheeks. He reached up to try and move whatever it was, but Riku took his hand and pulled it away. Sora had no strength to fight his tight grip. "Don't even think about it," Riku said, his smile still crooked and forlorn. "You need that right now."

"Why?" He wasn't even sure what it was but it smelt weird. Like plastic. 

"Because your lungs are fucked. 'Just a cold' turned out to be pneumonia." 

"Pneumo..." Sora frowned at him, confused by what he had said and the edge in his voice. Was Riku angry about something? He wanted to ask him what was wrong but speaking felt like dragging hot coals along his throat so he just stared at him, eyes concerned.

Riku immediately felt bad for letting his frustration boil over for a moment. He was angry that Sora hadn't said something sooner about being sick, but now wasn't the time for him to lose his temper with him. He was gazing at Riku with such a trusting and questioning look, confused and more than a little worried. He probably had no idea what was going on, with his fever raging... Riku didn't understand all of the numbers on the monitor looming over them, but he was fairly sure he knew what the 39.5°c in the bottom corner meant. Sora definitely didn't deserve someone being mad at him right now.

He tried to keep his voice as soft and warm as possible and took Sora's hand again. "You're sick, but it's alright, the doctors are taking care of you." His stomach clenched unpleasantly, unsure if that counted as a lie. It was true they were taking care of him, but Riku still hadn't heard anything from them about the results of these tests they were running. 

Doctors? Sora was no less confused by this information. Did that mean they were still at the hospital? There were an unpleasant number of questions running through his head. Maybe that was why it was pounding so much. He closed his eyes and focussed on breathing a little more deeply, trying to gather enough air in his lungs to ask Riku where they were. It was a mistake. The air caught on the shrapnel in his chest and he started coughing. Riku hurriedly removed the mask from his face before anything too gross could get on it.

When he finally managed to push the cough down he took the tissue Riku held out to him, needing to get rid of whatever awful things he'd coughed up, then closed his eyes and fell back into the pillows, throat and chest burning. Riku gave his shoulder a squeeze. "Need some water?" He opened his eyes to find a glass with a straw being held up to his mouth, and drank gratefully, the cold water soothing his throat a little.

When he was done Riku replaced his mask before he had a chance to resist and carded a hand through his hair. He tried to mumble his thanks but Riku interrupted him. "Don't try and talk too much, you're really unwell..." 

Not talking sounded like a good idea. It wasn't just his throat and lungs that hurt anymore either. Muscles he hadn't even known he had ached, and there was a sharp pain under his arm. A vague memory of people with hospital name tags gathered around him floated back. He'd felt a tiny sting and then numbness in his side, and a strange pressure against his chest in that same spot.

He tried to look down at his side where the pain was and reached over. He found something attached to his chest just below his arm. Wait, no. He felt suddenly panicked and sick. Something going into his chest. 

Inside his chest. 

Why the fuck was there something in his chest

Riku saw his heartrate skyrocket on the monitor and his eyes go wide with horror. "Hey, it's OK, it's just there to help you breathe!" He hastily reached out, grabbing Sora's wrist before he could do any damage to the drain and putting a hand on his cheek, turning his face away from the tube. Sora stared at him, breathing far too rapidly.

"But why is it..." His fevered mind was racing. He didn't understand what was happening, and now he realised there was something in his arm as well, something he was sure shouldn't be there. "Riku..." He trailed off, feeling another cough building in his throat. He tried to swallow it back but failed. 

Riku lifted his mask again and handed him another tissue for him to cough into. He rubbed his shoulder as Sora choked into the paper in his hand until the fit had passed, but when he tried to replace the mask Sora put a hand up to stop him. He wasn't sure what was going on, but he knew for sure that he didn't want that thing anywhere near his face. Or this needle in his arm. Or this fucking thing in his chest. 

"Sora it's OK, it's just something to help you breathe." Riku went back to running his fingers through his hair, trying to soothe him. It didn't do anything to help though. Sora's wheezing breaths sounded horribly strained, like each one took immense effort, but they were speeding up still. 

Stars were gathering in Sora's vision and he wasn't certain this really was the hospital anymore. Maybe he'd been wrong, he was back in that lab, wires attached to his body, back strapped to an ice-cold table. I don't want to be here, we have to leave, we have to get out. He tried giving voice to his thoughts but either he couldn't make a sound or Riku didn't hear him over the sudden beeping of machines. He was convinced it was the sound of Ansem's computer in the lab.

Riku tore his eyes away from Sora's white face and hit the call button. He had no idea what those beeping alerts meant but he was sure they weren't good, or anything he could help fix. Sora gave an unexpected gasp of pain and Riku looked back, immediately regretting taking his eyes and hands off him as he found Sora tugging weakly at the IV in his left arm, one of the tubes there already pulled loose. "Stop!!" He dragged Sora's right hand away from his wrist and did the first thing he thought of, wrapping his arms around him to keep his hands apart, trying to both restrain and comfort. Sora tried to pull away.

His chest was on fire, just like before, it was all happening again. Why wasn't Riku helping him escape? Why was he stopping him? This didn't make sense... 

Sora pushed at him, still trying to snatch at his arm, then, to Riku's horror, he grasped at the tube in his chest instead. Riku beat him there just in time, grabbing his hand and intertwining their fingers so he could hold him back. "Someone help! Help!" They must have heard his earlier shouts because two hospital workers sprinted into the room while Riku was still yelling out and understood what was happening immediately. One of them took hold of Sora's left arm and held it still, allowing Riku to release his grip. 

He turned back to Sora and put a hand on his face, forcing him to look away from the strangers now hovering over him. He hadn't seen him this terrified in a long time. "Just look at me OK? You're alright Sora, you're safe." But it wasn't helping. If anything Sora was panicking more, trying to shove Riku away, pushing against the bed with his feet to try and escape. Even when he was this sick he was still strong.

Riku pulled him into his arms again, gripping his back tightly with one hand and running his fingers back and forth along the nape of his neck with the other. He wasn't sure if Sora was still trying to drag him off, or if he was finally getting through to him, but he felt him ball up the back of his jacket in a fist, clutching at it and letting Riku hold his face against his neck as he murmured more comforting words in his ear.

His chest hurt so much but Riku had helped him last time, maybe he was here to help him again? He clung on to him for dear life. But he couldn't breathe, why couldn't he breathe?

Riku heard voices beside him and glanced over Sora's head at the- nurse? Doctor? Whoever it was that was holding Sora's arm steady, and then at the other person, who had a needle in their hand. He watched as they pressed it to Sora's upper arm and, as they slowly depressed the syringe, he felt the desperate grip on the back of his shirt begin to ease. They all waited and gradually, breath by laboured breath, Sora's gasping slowed. He stopped kicking at the bed and trying to throw Riku off, giving in to his embrace. 

It was over. Thank goodness he hadn't been strong enough to summon his Keyblade right now Riku thought, relief crashing over him as Sora's body relaxed.

He stared at the hospital workers questioningly and now recognised one of them as the same nurse who had stitched his own arm up hours ago. The man reached out and put a hand on his shoulder. "We've given him a mild sedative." He glanced at Sora, who still hadn't let go of Riku, and asked quietly, "Does he have a history of panic attacks?"

"Yeah... It's been a while since the last one though." After Quadratum they had gripped him often, but it had been many months since he'd last experienced one.

Sora began murmuring into Riku's chest and he moved away, sitting beside him on the bed but not moving his hands from his shoulders. Sora still looked terrified, but his eyes were half closed and glazed now. "Riku, I don't-" 

The rest of his sentence was cut off as he raised a hand to his mouth. His chest convulsed once more, and he twisted away from Riku to the edge of the bed. A bowl was in front of his mouth at once; the nurse was well-practised at recognising when someone was about to be sick.

It was a while longer before Sora was settled back in bed, cleaned up with his face mask back on and breathing at an acceptable rate again. With him no longer a danger to himself, and the tube he had managed to dislodge securely replaced, the nurse and doctor left, thinking it far better to keep the number of strangers around Sora to a minimum until the fever delirium passed. 

When they left Riku sat back down beside Sora, holding both of his hands in his. "Riku, I don't understand..." 

He could barely make out his words. Sora's voice was almost too quiet to make it through the breathing mask. His eyes were hazy, but the fear in them was still obvious. Riku leaned forward so he could kiss his forehead and smiled at him when he drew back. "I know this is confusing but trust me, everything is alright, you're safe with me." 

"But... where are we?"

"We're in the hospital."

"But... Are you sure?"

Riku furrowed his brow, why would he ask that? "Yeah, of course." Sora looked no less afraid at this though so he smiled at him again and rubbed his shoulder. "You're safe here, yeah?"

Sora stared at him as he smiled, and finally, the fear in his eyes seemed to wane just a little. He gave him a small nod and closed his eyes. Riku glanced at the monitor and saw Sora's fever was yet to decrease, no wonder he was so out of it...

Sora opened his eyes again, still only able to keep them half open, and peered up at him. "Is Kairi OK?"

"Yeah, she is," Riku was happy to report. "They said the surgery went really well."

"That's good..." He gave a few small coughs, and Riku grimaced at the horrible crackling sounds his lungs made. 

"You should go back to sleep now," he told him softly, squeezing his shoulder.

"Can't..."

"Why not?"

"Everything hurts..." 

Riku sighed sadly and ran a hand through Sora's hair. He'd seen him grin and keep fighting with enough major injuries to know that if Sora was complaining about pain that meant it was really, really bad. 

"I'll see if the nurse can help. You try and go back to sleep anyway though, OK?" Sora nodded, letting his eyelids drop. He kept his eyes closed until the nurse arrived, only able to truly sink back into sleep after he heard muffled voices around him, followed by a strange coolness in his arm, and the pain fading away in seconds.

Riku had been hoping to go see Kairi again that evening; he'd seen her briefly when she came out of recovery not long before Sora woke up, but she'd been so pumped full of pain meds that their conversation hadn't made much sense. It had been quite entertaining for him, but he wasn't sure how much of it she'd remember. 

Once she woke up a bit more he expected she'd be rather miffed to not have any company, but he wasn't leaving Sora's side for a second if there was even the slightest chance he would have another attack when he woke up. The nurses had said the sedative would stay in his system for several hours and help keep him calm, but he wasn't taking any risks. He gave Naminé a call after Sora fell asleep, and she was more than happy to go see Kairi. He was thankful they had so many friends in this world.

It was another hour before the doctor finally returned. Her update on Sora's condition wasn't bad news, but it wasn't particularly reassuring either.

"We have him on the right medication, but it's still too soon to say how things will play out." She looked tired as she glanced up from her papers, and Riku guessed she must be nearing the end of her shift. "His blood pressure has been dropping which is concerning, but I'm expecting we'll start to see some improvement tomorrow once the antibiotics have been in his system for a while. Recovery is still the most likely outcome." 

"But you can't be certain yet..." Riku nodded. "I understand."

She moved towards the monitor, checking the notes the nurses had been making on the chart in her hands. Riku wondered what details they had written about the earlier incident. He was glad Sora stayed asleep as the doctor drew the blankets back down to his waist and undid the side of the hospital gown, his mouth curving slightly into a smile as he imagined how embarrassed Sora might be if he woke up right now.

Riku looked away quickly as the doctor moved her hands to his side and he realised what she was examining. He didn't want to see the tube emerging from his boyfriend's skin. The scratch on his side was, unsurprisingly, covered in bandages, but the awful discoloured streaks across Sora's stomach were still clear. Riku couldn't see the wound when the doctor gently peeled back the dressings to examine it, but he doubted it would look much better than earlier.

As she replaced it she looked up at Riku briefly, then back down at Sora's chest. "That's quite a scar he has..."

Riku was so used to seeing the raised line that led from Sora's sternum almost all the way to his navel that he sometimes forgot it was something most people wouldn't expect to see. Its colour had faded slightly over the past year and a half, from dark purplish-red to pink. He doubted it would fade much more though. It still astonished him that Sora had survived the terrible wounds he had sustained in Quadratum.

Riku nodded, staring down at the scar, and the doctor said no more. She left with an assurance that if he had concerns or questions he could speak with any of the doctors or nurses, and a not-so-comforting, "We're doing everything we can."

As she left he felt his eyes sting. He sniffed and wiped away the tears, pushing them back before his crying could disturb Sora. He seemed to have a sixth sense though because as Riku sniffed, Sora dragged his eyes open and stared at his boyfriend rubbing the back of his hand across his eyes.

"What's wrong?" he murmured, startling Riku out of his thoughts.

"Nothing," he gave him a genuine smile this time. It had barely been an hour since he last saw them, but he'd missed those blue eyes. He shifted a little closer to the head of the bed and put a hand on Sora's shoulder. He could feel the heat emanating from his body through the fabric of the gown, and the faint tremor of his shivering. "Need anything?"

With some effort, Sora managed to croak an answer. "Too cold in here..." 

Raiding the bedside table revealed an extra blanket and Riku tucked it around him, doing his best to avoid touching all the tubes and cords. He took his own jacket off as well and laid it over him for good measure, much to Sora's confusion. "Won't you get cold?" Riku smiled and shook his head.

"I'm fine, it's warm in here, you've just got a really bad fever," he tried to explain but doubted Sora had understood because he didn't react. He just blinked up at him, and Riku's heart ached at seeing him looking so wretched. His shallow breathing looked and sounded awfully painful right now. Riku reached out and shifted some of the sweat-soaked hair from his brow. "Can I do anything else to help?"

Sora tried to move his hand towards him, unhappy about the layers of blankets separating their palms, and Riku chuckled as he shifted them and took his hand. Sora closed his eyes briefly as he swallowed, trying to clear his throat enough to speak. "Just... please stay..."

Sora looked scared as he stared up at him, which puzzled Riku. Even considering how sick and disorientated Sora was, his degree of anxiety was so much higher than he would have expected. He never could have predicted how terrified Sora was going to be when he first woke up. "Of course I'll stay." He smiled at him and Sora managed a small one as well, before finally closing his eyes as Riku kissed his fever-hot forehead.

"I'm not going anywhere Sora, I promise." He massaged the back of Sora's hand gently with his thumb until he fell asleep. 

Aerith had been kind enough to stop by in the early evening with something for the two boys to have for dinner. She had assumed, correctly, that Riku wouldn't be planning on leaving the hospital anytime soon, and told him to let her know if he needed any more meal deliveries. The hospital food wasn't bad, but Aerith's (or maybe it was Naminé's?) cooking was better. Sora had slept through her visit, the delicious smell of food surprisingly not enough to rouse him. Riku guessed he'd be starving by the time he woke up again. 

As the day went on, Riku felt a twist of anxiety every time a nurse or doctor passed by the room, each time afraid they were going to inform him visiting hours were over and he had to leave, but as it grew later he started to hope that maybe that moment wasn't going to come. 

It wasn't until one of the nurses stopped by around 10pm to do some more routine checks that Sora opened his eyes again, woken by her and Riku talking. It took him a few moments to remember where he was, and what the weird pain and pressure under his arm was. He felt nauseous at the thought. Actually, he just felt plain nauseous. Plain awful. Although he didn't feel as sick with fear as he had earlier.

Riku was saying something to the woman standing on the other side of the bed. He looked hesitant, then immensely relieved as she nodded and said something about pillows and sleeping.

As she left Riku turned and smiled at him when he noticed he was awake. "Hey you." Sora was relieved to see he actually looked happy this time. "How are you feeling?" Sora raised his arm just far enough off the bed to give him a thumbs down, fist shaking a little as he shivered, and Riku squeezed his other hand with a sympathetic look on his face. "Are you hungry? You slept through dinner."

Sora grimaced at the thought of food. "Don't think..." but he trailed off, as the crackling in his lungs threatened to set off another cough. Threatened, and then did so. 

Riku helped him sit up and gave him another tissue to cough into. It didn't last long, but when Sora took the spoiled tissue away from his mouth and dropped it in the bin Riku held up, they both caught sight of flecks of blood. Neither of them mentioned it.

Sora tried to clear his throat as he lay back down. It took a few tries but eventually, he managed to speak again. "Is Kairi OK?"

"She's going to be fine," Riku told him again, not all that surprised he didn't remember their earlier conversation. He snickered. "She was pretty doped up on painkillers when I saw her, but the doctors said the surgery went well."

"That's good..." Sora closed his eyes and went back to dozing. 

The nurse returned soon after with a stack of pillows and blankets for Riku to use, saying it was fine for him to stay as long as he wanted. He really was amazed by the kindness of the staff here. He pulled his chair as close to the bed as possible, leaning back against the wall with his arm on the bed, pressing it against Sora's and holding his hand. He doubted it would be the most pleasant way to sleep, but it was far better than having to leave.

Sora stirred again and nuzzled into his shoulder, his oxygen mask rubbing slightly against Riku's skin. "Mmm sorry..."

"Hmm?"

"For making you worry..." he murmured. "Didn't think it was this bad..."

Riku kissed the top of his head. "It's OK, I'll give you a lecture later."

Sora swallowed painfully, still shivering and wincing at the popping in his lungs. "Can you get in? Too cold..."

Riku smiled and kissed him again. "Sure." 

It took a little manoeuvring of IV and oxygen tubes, but Riku managed to wriggle into bed beside him, only just managing to fit as he lay on his side, pressing his forehead into Sora's shoulder, and sliding an arm beneath the blankets to wrap around his hips.

He ran his thumb back and forth along Sora's hip bone in a way he normally saved for more intimate moments, wanting to make sure Sora knew he was there to hold on to him. Sora sighed contentedly as he fell asleep. He was an absolute furnace though, and Riku expected it was going to be an uncomfortably warm night for him. But, he didn't really mind.

Chapter Text

Aside from Sora's sporadic coughing fits, the first half of the night was surprisingly restful for them both. After the horror of the past day and a half, Riku was so drained that, even though he woke up almost as drenched in sweat as Sora was, the excessive heat from lying beside him didn't disturb him. In the early hours of the morning, their reprieve seemed to end, as Riku woke to the sound of groaning, and Sora shifting beside him. Feeling him reaching for the tube beneath his arm, Riku took his hands and murmured calming words in his ear.

Sora stopped resisting quickly.  He was shaking badly though, and it was only when his groans progressed to faint whimpers it occurred to Riku that maybe it wasn't fear or fever causing the tremors this time. He sat up and shifted from the bed, the movement causing Sora to wince. "Are you hurting?"

Hurting felt like an understatement. His joints were on fire, and the ache in his stomach was so strong it was nauseating. With his eyes clenched shut he nodded, and whined a faint complaint as Riku let go of one of his hands. Riku pressed the button to call for a nurse, then moved his hand back to cup Sora's cheek. Sora pressed his face into his palm, squeezing his other hand hard. He couldn't stand seeing him in this much pain...

Sora managed to force down the pills the nurse gave him after she decided it was clear stronger doses would now be necessary. They took far longer than the IV to kick in but apparently, now that he could handle swallowing them, he would be taking those instead now. 

Over time the tremors faded and the harsh grip on Riku's hand slackened, but it didn't seem to him like Sora's pain was anywhere near gone. He ran his fingers through his hair until he eventually managed to slip back into sleep. The shaking began again a few hours later, followed soon by another prompt visit from the increasingly concerned nurse. They didn't know it yet, but this would become routine over the next 24 hours.

The doctor who was rostered on overnight had a much more brusque bedside manner than the previous, and Riku couldn't help but be irritated by the terse way he spoke to Sora when he asked him to describe his pain and sit up so he could listen to his breathing. The deep breaths he asked him to take set off another wave of coughing.

Riku was sure the overnight shift wasn't the most pleasant one to take, but the nurse who had called him down had still managed to be friendly whenever they talked to him. Although, he would have appreciated them not tittering quite so much when they came in and found him and Sora cuddled up... His cheeks were still burning slightly from the "you two are so sweet," they had greeted him with when he woke up.

He hadn't been expecting them to come back so had gone back to sleep with Sora after his second round of pain relief kicked in. It was a pity they had to wake them both up so soon, but the nurse had found Sora's escalating pain concerning. It turned out to be worth it.

"The pneumonia seems to be improving, but the sepsis is not so we should add a different antibiotic for that," the doctor said when he was finished, addressing the nurse rather than Sora or Riku. He followed this up with some medical words neither of them understood, and Riku squeezed Sora's hand when he saw fear pooling in his eyes. The doctor seemed to notice this as well when he turned back because there was a touch more kindness in his voice now. "We'll do our best to keep the pain under control so you can get some more rest. If it gets any worse though let us know immediately."

They left and, once he was confident they weren't about to come straight back, Riku settled back into bed with an arm around Sora and his hand in his. Sora didn't close his eyes again though, and turned to him as best he could. "Riku?"

"Mmm?"

"I'm scared... I don't understand what's happening."

Riku was scared too. Shit, he was so scared. But he wasn't going to let Sora know that right now. He couldn't. This was just another one of their sleepovers as kids he told himself. One of the ones when they were woken by crashes of thunder and the groaning of palm trees bending in the strong winds of the typhoon season. Sora would dive into his bed, shaking and tearful, and Riku would do all he could to hide his own fear, holding Sora's hand and smiling, always there to reassure him things would be OK.

"It's going to be alright," he told him, rubbing his arm to try and soothe him. "You're sick and that's why you're confused. But it's going to be alright Sora." He pressed a kiss to his shoulder. "I love you."

"Love you too..." He felt lost, but Riku was here with him. If he was here then everything would be alright. Riku looked stressed though. "Are you OK?"

He smiled. "Yeah. I'm worried, but I'm fine, and you will be too soon, OK? You just need to get some more sleep."

"OK..."

That he could definitely do.

He managed to eat breakfast that morning, and even kept some of it down, before he was wheeled off for a chest X-ray and more blood tests. After Sora had voiced his fears last night, and the anxious look he gave Riku on his way out before the nurse said he could come as well, Riku suspected that without the extra pain medication, the doctors would have needed to bring the sedatives out again. 

He was still puzzled by this. He'd never known Sora to be afraid of doctors in the past. Thanks to how much the two of them liked to climb and explore as kids they'd both ended up in the Destiny Islands hospital a fair few times and he'd never seen Sora particularly worried. On the contrary, he'd treated it like an adventure back then, jabbering away happily to Riku and their parents as he'd had cuts on his arms and legs bandaged or stitched up, wondering if he'd end up with cool scars like the pirates in their storybooks.

He seemed the complete opposite now. Maybe it was just the pain though? The crackling of his breathing was enough to make Riku flinch, and from what the doctors had told him the pneumonia wasn't even causing the majority of the pain. Sora didn't complain though, unless Riku coaxed him into telling him when things were becoming too much. And, thankfully, he was managing to sleep through a lot of it. He was almost asleep by the time they returned to his room.

Kairi was waiting there when they returned, now allowed to roam the hospital in a wheelchair. The grin she was wearing as they came in dropped away at the sight of Sora, and the myriad of hospital equipment attached to him and his bed as he was wheeled in. 

"Oh god, Sora..." She moved to the head of his bed to get a better look at him, and he blinked at her with bleary eyes. She put a hand on his shoulder but he didn't seem to notice.

"He's fairly out of it," Riku told her quietly, looking miserable. "They had to up his pain meds."

Sora mumbled a greeting Kairi couldn't make out properly through his mask, then closed his eyes. Not wanting to make him stay awake, she took her hand away and turned to Riku. "How is he?"

He gave her a whispered run down of Sora's condition and everything that had happened the day before, wishing he'd had another update since the concerning exchange in the early hours of the morning. "I'm still not sure how much he understands about what's going on..."

They sat in silence for a while, both of them listening to Sora's steady, yet ragged breathing.

Kairi eventually broke the quiet, reaching out to put a hand on Riku's arm as he yawned. "How are you going?" 

"OK enough I guess."

"You look tired." He looked a lot worse than just tired. His skin had a tinge of grey to it, and the way he kept massaging the back of his neck and shoulders made it clear he was sore and stiff.

"Heh, I am..." He sighed, then covered his mouth as it turned into another coincidental yawn."What about you?"

"Pretty sore. Aqua is going to come to visit later though, they said it's safe to start using magic on my leg." She turned back to Sora. "I wonder if there's anything she can do for him..."

"I doubt it." 

Damn he needed some more coffee.

When Sora next woke he was far less groggy than before, and recognised Kairi sitting beside his bed, talking softly with Riku. He opened his mouth to say hello and immediately began coughing, causing Kairi to jump with fright and then wince at the pain in her leg. It might have been comical to him if Riku wasn't so worried about the pair of them. He helped Sora with his mask and rubbed his back until the coughing passed.

"Hey Sora," Kairi said when he eventually caught his breath, placing a hand lightly on top of his. He stared back at her with glazed eyes and a small smile.

"Hi Kairi," he mumbled and she smiled back, relieved to hear him speak even with his horribly gravelly voice. She squeezed his hand.

"It sounds like you've had an even worse time than me."

He turned his hand over so he could hold hers and return the pressure. "I'm OK... How's your..." He trailed off, furrowing his brow slightly and Kairi giggled.

"My leg?"

"Yeah." He shifted so he could look down at the huge white cast encasing most of her leg and foot.

"It's fine," she said, leaving out the but it's fucking sore, part.

"Can I... sign your cast?" Riku snorted and Kairi laughed, which confused Sora. Didn't people always sign their friend's casts? Kairi had doodled all over the one on his arm back at school. 

He glanced from one to the other, looking perplexed, and Kairi made herself stop giggling. "Sure, but maybe wait until you can hold a pen again."

Sora was still bemused, but too tired to ask why neither of them would just let go of his hands so he could hold a pen properly. "Don't let Riku... sign it before me... OK?"

She grinned at him as Riku did his best not to laugh. "OK, I won't!"

With Kairi there to stay with Sora, Riku took the opportunity to have a shower and a short walk around the nearby gardens. Sleeping with an arm around a figurative heater and the stress of the last 48 hours had left him in desperate need of both. It wasn't long after he rejoined the others (Sora now asleep again) that the same doctor from the day before knocked on the door, causing Riku's stomach to lurch. She didn't make them wait for the news though, putting Riku out of his misery as she smiled at him and Kairi.

"We have him on the right medication and his lungs are already looking better than yesterday, so we should see plenty of improvement over the next couple of days."

Riku beamed at her, let out a shaky breath, and then closed his eyes, dropping his head into his hands. Kairi rubbed his back as he swore quietly under his breath a few times before he managed to lift his head again. "Thank you, that's... such a relief."

She kept smiling but held up a hand. "It's still going to be quite a few days before he's well enough to go home, and I do need to clear that there is always a chance of complications with these things. Sepsis is a very serious condition and can be unpredictable, so he's not completely out of the woods yet, but in all likelihood, he should make a full recovery."

She had more good news for them as well. Considering both the improvement to his lungs and the distress it was causing him, they had decided it was time to remove the chest drain. Already feeling tired, sore, and a bit nauseous from her own painkillers, Kairi decided this wasn't something she particularly wanted to watch, so headed back to her room.

The doctors and Riku did their best to help Sora understand what was about to happen, and when he said he was ready Riku took his hand. He squeezed it tightly and winced as the doctors performed the removal, but the pain seemed brief. Although, thought Riku, that could be due to the most recent hefty dose of painkillers. Sora's solid grip on his hand relaxed before the doctor had even completed their suturing. 

With the tube finally out, and Sora already falling asleep, Riku leant down to kiss his forehead and squeezed his shoulder. "You OK if I go grab something to eat? I'll be back soon." Sora gave him a slow nod. "Want me to get you something?"

"Ice cream please," he mumbled as he closed his eyes and Riku chuckled.

"I'll see what I can do."

The cafe across the street clearly made most of its money from the hospital employees, if the number of people dressed in scrubs was anything to go by. To his surprise, among the few people not wearing hospital attire, he spotted Ventus and Aqua.

"Oh Riku, we were just about to come find you!" Aqua said with a smile as he came to stand beside their table with his takeaway coffee and muffin in hand. "Kairi's asleep, so we thought we'd come check on you and Sora."

"How is he?" Ven asked.

"Well, he's not great, but the doctor said he's getting better now." Ven was obviously anxious, and Riku was glad they'd arrived now, rather than before the chest drain was removed. He doubted Ven would have reacted well to seeing that.

He decided against ice cream, thinking it would most likely have melted by the time Sora next woke up. It seemed he'd been wrong though, because as they turned into the hallway, at the opposite end to Sora's room, they saw a nurse leaving it, apparently talking to him over their shoulder before closing the door behind them.

Not looking forward to Sora's disappointment, even though his pouting always entertained him, Riku sighed. He'd go say hi with the others before heading back to the cafe though.

They were almost at Sora's room when the alarm rang out. 

Riku dashed the last few feet, purple sparks shooting down the hall and reforming at the door. A loud clang rang out as he threw it open. 

He caught sight of Sora's Keyblade on the floor a split second before it vanished, along with the green lights of healing magic hovering in the air. In the moment he took to register them, he missed his chance to catch Sora, as he slumped forward and fell from the bed to the floor.

"Sora!" He dropped down and turned him over, and his head lolled back over his arm, eyes closed and slightly parted lips purple. The clip had been pulled from his finger but the alarm on the machine continued ringing and shouts from behind told him people were following him in. The oxygen mask had fallen from his face. He wasn't breathing

He wasn't breathing. 

"No, no, no..." Riku jabbed his fingers against his neck, feeling for a pulse. Don't be dead, please don't be dead. Don't leave me.

A racing beat. It was beating. His heart was still beating, but he wasn't breathing, why wasn't-

Sora gasped and his eyes flew open. His back arched as he drew in a fast, jagged breath that rapidly became a spasming cough and he clenched his eyes shut again in pain. 

But he was breathing again.
He was breathing.
Still alive.
Still here.

Aqua dropped down on Sora's other side and hurriedly pulled the oxygen mask back over his mouth when his coughing calmed. "Sora?"

As his eyes opened and blinked lazily up at him Riku let out a choked sob, and clutched him to his chest.

Someone was holding him. Hugging him tightly with their face pressed into his neck.

Their breaths were sharp and short. With each one, something dug into Sora's cheek, as the person's body shuddered and their shoulder pushed against his face. Why was there something on his face again? He felt tears on his neck.

He tried to turn to see who it was but his body didn't want to cooperate. All he could do was slide his eyes sideways, just far enough to see silvery blue hair. Why was Riku crying? He wanted to reach a hand up to rub his back but again his heavy limbs refused. His throat was so constricted he could hardly breathe, let alone ask him what was wrong. 

But Riku was crying. He shouldn't be crying. Sora didn't want him to cry.

Someone with much darker blue hair floated into his field of vision. Aqua was kneeling beside them, and he felt a hand place itself behind his head. What was she doing here? It was nice to see her. He wondered how long she'd been there.

She was saying something. Maybe. Sora was sure he could hear her voice, though he couldn't make out a single word. Maybe she wasn't talking to him though? That must be it because she had a hand on Riku's back and now he was lifting his head. 

Sora tried his best to smile at him. He didn't want him to cry. "Riku...?" He wanted to ask him why he was crying but croaking his name seemed all he could do. He was so tired. So tired... 

More faces were moving around him now, the voices of many people assaulting his ears and pressing a nail into his brain. He wished he could tell them to stop yelling; it was making his head pound so badly. They seemed intent on making his headache worse as well, because a bright light had started flashing in and out of his left eye, and then his right. 

He was drifting in and out. 

Eventually, the noise died down around him, and he felt Riku shift his arms beneath him. His eyelids were flickering open just enough for him to make out Riku's shoulder and hair. He was lifting him, lowering him down somewhere soft, pulling a blanket up over him. He must be in bed again. Why had he been on the floor?

He recognised Aqua and Ventus hovering behind Riku as well now. They looked sad. He fought to keep his eyes open, consumed by the need for sleep and the desperate desire to find out why Riku and the others looked so unhappy.

Were they scared for some reason? They looked scared, but Riku had said they were safe, hadn't he? They were safe here in the... hospital? There was some reason they were here...

Too many questions. He closed his eyes, scrunching them shut as his head throbbed. Why did everything hurt so much? Hadn't he just healed himself? He shouldn't hurt this much. Maybe he hadn't done it. All he wanted right now was to go home. Maybe he'd try magic later, then surely they'd let him go home...

He groaned, but then felt fingers running through his hair, and a thumb on his temple stroking it gently. The tension, and just enough of the pain, seemed to melt away, and he reluctantly let sleep overtake him.

It had taken a minute or so for Aqua to gently coax Riku into letting Sora go so the doctors could examine him, and even then he had refused to move from his side, keeping a hand between his head and the hard floor. 

Aqua could count the number of times she'd seen Riku's calm composure slip on one hand, and only ever known him to cry like that once since they met. That time he had been holding Sora's limp body in his arms as well. She hated to think how many times now he'd been on the precipice of losing him forever.

Sora clung to consciousness for a few seconds after he was lain back down in bed. It was only when his breathing deepened that Riku noticed the uncomfortable scratching of dried salt tears beneath his own eyes. 

The doctor and nurse stayed for quite a while longer, waiting until they were certain Sora was stable. Riku didn't say much after he told them what he had seen when he first came into the room. He said that the moron Sora had been trying to heal himself with magic, and then left the rest of the talking to Aqua. She was the expert on magic after all.

He listened to her discussing what may have happened. "It must have caused his body to briefly shut down," she explained. "It can happen sometimes when people push themselves too far using magic or have too much healing magic cast on them... It's a good thing he lost consciousness before he could drain himself even more."

A hand patted Riku's shoulder and he turned to find Ventus holding a new cup of takeaway coffee out to him. He wasn't sure when Ven had slipped out of the room, or what had happened to his previous drink. He must have dropped it in his mad dash to Sora's room. It was probably splashed across the hallway floor. "Thanks Ven," he said, smiling at him as he took it. "I appreciate it."

Ven smiled at him but didn't say anything, clearly still shaken.

"He's stable, and all his vitals are back to where they were before he collapsed," the doctor told them eventually. "He just needs rest."

Now that they knew Sora would be alright, Aqua and Ven left soon after to go see Kairi. She'd messaged them to say she was awake (and in desperate need of some magical pain relief) so they left, not looking forward to having to tell her about what had happened.

Riku slumped into the armchair beside the bed, the cup Ven had brought him already empty. He couldn't tell who he was more furious with, himself for leaving Sora alone, or Sora for doing something so stupid. He looked up at the monitor. Despite what the doctor had said about him improving, Sora's fever was approaching the 40°c mark. 

That settled it then. He couldn't blame Sora for doing something like this when he barely knew where he was. It was hard not to feel a little angry though. Fuck he was tired. He'd kill for some more coffee right now.

Sora slept a long time after he came close to accidentally killing himself. Too long for the pain medication to stay effective. That evening he woke in agony again, seemingly unaware of the earlier incident, and Riku forgot all his anger at once.

He hugged him while they waited for the pills to kick in, and Sora pushed his face into his chest, thankful that whatever mask had been on his face was finally gone. Riku was as well. Hugging him was far easier with the cannula instead. "It'll get better soon," he cooed, and Sora felt his hands running through his hair. He wasn't sure if he believed him right now though. His bones themselves seemed to be turning to ice. Too cold, then too hot. Burning as they shook beneath his skin and he clung to Riku's arm and groaned. 

"Riku..."

"Yeah?"

"Am I dying?" 

Riku's stomach clenched. At least he hadn't asked him that yesterday... "No Sora, you're not, the doctor said you're going to get better soon." 

"Promise?"

He pressed his face into Sora's hair and held him as tightly as he could without hurting him. "I promise." 

Chapter Text

The rapid progress they had been told to expect over the next 24 hours didn't eventuate. Whether it was due to his ill-advised magic use or some other unforeseen complication, they didn't know, but even with the pneumonia improving, Sora's overall condition was not. If anything, he seemed to be getting worse. The doctors had nothing to say, save for "We just have to wait and see."

The night was long and painful, even worse than the previous. Sora was routinely woken by his fever dreams, coughing, and escalating nausea. Riku was greatly relieved when the nurses switched back to IV pain relief in the early hours of the morning, as the longer the night went on the more obvious it became that Sora could barely keep water down, let alone more pills. They told him there was a good chance the antibiotics and painkillers were contributing to the vomiting as much as the sepsis was.

At some point, the pain became so severe that Riku was forced to shift into the chair beside the bed, with the lightest pressure causing Sora's shaking body to ache and the layers of blankets now the only touch he could bear. Riku watched helplessly as his blood pressure dropped and his temperature on the monitor steadily rose, no matter how much fluid and fever reducer they pumped into him. From their concerned and frustrated looks, it seemed this in particular was worrying the doctors. His delirium worsened along with the fever.

As dawn drew near Sora found himself gasping for breath again. He wasn't sure if he'd been vomiting for the tenth time that night, or coughing more awful things up out of his lungs, but he knew he needed to drink something to wash his mouth out. It was better than whatever the taste in his mouth had been before, but the water still tasted wrong. Too sweet. He forced it down anyway, then caught a glimpse of the misery in Riku's eyes and didn't understand. Was he feeling sick too? When he regained the power of speech he rolled onto his side and reached out to put a hand on his arm. 

"What's wrong?" Riku opened his mouth, looking taken aback, then closed it and hung his head. He had no idea what to say. Sora tried to rub his arm, but it was difficult with the violent shivers wracking his frame. "It's OK... please don't be sad."

Riku's shoulders shook briefly as he gave a humourless chuckle and put his hand on top of Sora's. "I'll stop being sad if you get better for me, OK?" When he looked back up he gave Sora a half-hearted smile, but then frowned. Sora was looking back at him with dismay. He remembered now why Riku was so upset.

"I'm sorry..." he groaned as he curled into a ball, trying desperately to contain the nausea that had returned with the stabbing guilt. "Mmm sorry..."

"Shhh, stop talking," Riku tried to hush him, running his hand over his hair as gently as he could. "Get some more rest."

Sora kept murmuring though, words slurred between rattling breaths. "Mmm sorry..." He was so stupid, how could he have let this happen. He should have been more careful, should have kept them safe in the mountains, should have defended them better, should have gotten them to the hospital faster, should have been brave enough to ask the doctors for help, should have been strong enough to heal himself. It was all his fault, and now Kairi was hurt and Riku was so sad, all because of him. "Sorry... Mmmm sorry Riku..."

"Sora please." Riku was close to begging him now. "You don't need to apologise, just try and sleep."

"I'm sorry..." 

"Don't talk, you need to rest."

"Mmm sorry..." 

"Please Sora, just go back to sleep."

But he couldn't sleep. Not truly. It came in fits and bursts, broken by choking, shaking, and nightmares of staring up at glowing crystals, while glass pierced his chest.

By mid-morning Riku was at his limit, close to breaking. But then, something else broke instead.

He was slumped forward on Sora's bed with his head resting on his crossed arms when he heard people shifting around the room. Presumably, nurses or doctors come to check in yet again. He would have ignored them, wanting nothing more than to stay folded over where he was, protecting his aching head from the light of the room, but their muffled voices sounded strangely cheery.

As he dragged his face up from his arms he saw, for the first time, the number 38 in the corner of the monitor beside the bed. 

38.9c. Sora's fever was still raging, but it had broken. It was finally coming down. 

Riku turned to the doctor and nurse who had just noticed he was awake. They beamed at him and nodded. Sora was going to be alright.

The peaking of his fever marked a turning point in Sora's sickness and, finally, the recovery the doctors had predicted began. They had said once the antibiotics started working he would improve quickly, and they had most definitely been right.

Though still not fully aware of what was happening, Sora was gradually becoming less confused and, to everyone's relief, far less distressed. While keeping food down still seemed borderline impossible, and his every muscle and bone continued to burn, he finally found he could breathe. Apparently, the coughing would last a long time, as his body worked hard on clearing his lungs but finally, finally, he could actually breathe.

His brain was still terribly foggy, but by evening his delirium had passed. The nurse couldn't help but comment on how at this point it almost looked like Riku was the sicker of the pair of them, his face was so grey and drained. Sora listened with increasing concern as the man and Riku spoke in the hallway, neither aware their voices had woken him. The nurse was doing his best to encourage Riku to leave for just the one night and get some proper sleep. "We'll be taking care of him. I think after three days of this you need a break, at this rate we're going to have to admit you as well."

Sora couldn't make out Riku's reply, but judging by the nurse's deep sigh he could tell what Riku's answer had been. Three whole days... They were such a blur Sora hadn't been able to tell how long it was. No wonder Riku was so exhausted. 

"You don't have to stay," he said when Riku pushed open the door and came to sit with him again.

Riku sighed, then chuckled as he took Sora's hand. "I know, but I'm going to anyway." 

Watching his face, Sora could see exactly why the nurse had suggested he leave. He hadn't seen Riku looking so stretched to his limit in a long time. As usual, it was because of him. "I'm going to be OK, you really don't have to stay. You should go have some real sleep."

"I'm fine Sora, don't worry about me."

"You don't look fine." Sora gave him a weak smile as he squeezed his hand. "And I'll be alright by myself."

"Well I won't be!" Riku's voice came out much louder and harsher than either of them expected. They stared at each other, both looking equally surprised. "Sorry..." Riku dropped his eyes and saw that he'd pulled his hand away without realising. He moved it back to sit on top of Sora's. "It's just that, I want to stay." If he left he'd just spend every moment of that night afraid and lonely, terrified Sora was going to fade away again. He needed to be near him, and know he was still here. "Is that alright?"

He raised his head as Sora gave his hand another squeeze. "Of course you idiot." He was smiling at him again, and god it was good to see a smile that reached his eyes. "I'm not gonna kick you out if you actually want to stay."

He beamed at him and ran a hand through his hair. "Thanks."

The time since they first arrived at the hospital was hazy to Sora, but it was only when the doctor brought up his use of magic that he realised just how out of it he must have been. 

He was sitting with Kairi, when the doctor came in, while Riku was dead asleep in his chair beside the bed with his chin resting on his chest. Their night had been much less disrupted than the previous but was still far from restful. Sora had quickly come to regret attempting to eat dinner, as once again not much of it stayed down. His throat was burning from the acid as much as the coughing. 

Nightmares had begun dragging him (and thus Riku as well) awake in the early hours. What exactly he was dreaming of, Riku wasn't sure, but the nightmares of Quadratum still haunted Sora occasionally, and a fever was surely a reliable way to make those resurface. Sora had been too groggy to tell him about the dreams, and he had been far more interested in them both getting more sleep than he was in finding out. Sleep had still been thin on the ground though, so he had dozed off soon after Kairi arrived while she and Sora chatted. When the doctor came to speak with Sora in the afternoon she kept her voice quiet to avoid waking him.

"It would be very dangerous to attempt more healing magic," she told Sora and, even with her voice low, it was by far the sternest and most serious the doctor had spoken to any of them since they arrived. Not unpleasant, but the softness was distinctly absent. "I want to be very clear, you absolutely cannot attempt to heal yourself again. Do you understand?"

He looked confused for a moment, then averted his eyes and nodded. "Yeah, I'm sorry."

The doctor's kind demeanour returned and she placed a hand on his shoulder. "It's alright. It's hard being this sick, but that's why you need to rest." He nodded again, keeping his gaze low. He continued looking away while the doctor talked a little longer about how his recovery was likely to progress, but he wasn't listening very well. When she left he turned to Kairi and rubbed the back of his head sheepishly.

"That actually happened then..."

She tilted her head, at him, not sure what he meant. "What did?"

"Trying to heal myself... I thought it might have just been a dream." His stomach was feeling awful again, though he thought it was more likely it was shame causing it, rather than nausea.

"Oh yeah..." Kairi sighed and stared down at her lap. "I wasn't here but Aqua and Ven told me about it."

"Damn..." That must mean Riku really had been crying then. 

"Do you remember why you did it?"

"It's kind of fuzzy," he frowned, trying to remember. "But I was talking to someone, I think it was a nurse or doctor, and asked when I could go home. They said they weren't sure yet but it would be a while and I guess I just panicked."

He hated it here so much. He didn't say it out loud, but he didn't need to for Kairi to understand. He felt like such an idiot though, it must have scared everyone so much...

His guilt must have shown on his face because he felt Kairi lay a hand on his and when he looked up she was smiling at him. "Don't feel bad, you've been really confused and out of it the last few days. You didn't even know what you were doing I'm sure." She gave his hand a squeeze. "It's not you're fault, you shouldn't have been left alone." 

Great, so now other people were going to blame themselves for the risk he'd taken as well. He didn't respond and was relieved when the sound of Kairi's phone vibrating broke the awkward silence. "I better go," she said as her eyes scanned the message. "Aqua's on her way." She put the phone away and squeezed his hand. "We'll come see you again later."

He nodded and was about to say goodbye, but the guilty feeling in his stomach combined with the sudden movement triggered a last-minute request. "Umm, Kairi?"

"Yeah?"

"I think..." He swallowed hard and raised a hand to his mouth.

"Oh!"

He lurched forward, grabbing the bowl she handed him just in time.

His retching had woken Riku, who took charge of dealing with the aftermath once Kairi left for her room. "Lunch was a mistake then?" he asked with a half-hearted smile when he returned, trying to lighten the mood and cheer Sora up a little. It was a lame attempt, but the best he could manage right now.

"Yeah... Thanks for looking after me so much." He'd have to give Riku a long speech about how grateful he was once his throat could handle that. He raised a hand to his mouth again, but this time it was a cough that came out. That, followed by more gunk from his lungs. Once he'd spat that into a tissue he fell back, groaning as his chest burned. "Ugh, you sure I'm not dying?" he asked, attempting to joke. He was as keen as Riku was to dispel the heavy atmosphere of gloom. He definitely did feel like he was dying though.

"I'm sure," Riku snickered, the question less upsetting this time around. His smile dropped away quickly though. Maybe now it was time to broach the subject that was probably on both of their minds. "You weren't far off though... You should have said something."

Sora sighed. "I'm sorry"

"And you definitely shouldn't have gone trekking through the snow when you were already sick..."

"I know, but..." He stopped to take a breath. "You guys needed help."

Riku wanted to argue, I could have gone, or we could have waited till morning. It wouldn't make a difference though, they really hadn't had much of a choice. But still, he could have at least told them. "Why didn't you say you were feeling so ill though?"

"I honestly didn't think it was this bad, just thought it was a cold and I was tired."

"Really?"

He turned and nodded. "Really. I am sorry though."

Sora had been pretty damn out of it at the time Riku thought to himself again. It wouldn't be all that surprising if he hadn't realised how serious things were, and he definitely hadn't had a clue what was going on when he tried using magic. Riku searched his face for a while, then smiled and nodded as well, letting Sora know he believed him. It was a relief to know he really had been too quick to assign blame, and his anger had been misplaced. He hated being angry with Sora.

Sora smiled back and then sighed, closing his eyes and rolling his head back to face the ceiling. "I didn't realise the infection in my cut had gotten so much worse either. Wish I'd checked on it again, I can't believe it got that bad so fast."

Riku's shoulders tensed and his eyes went wide. "What did you just say?"

Sora turned and frowned at him, puzzled. He couldn't quite grok Riku's expression or shift in his tone. "I said I didn't think it would get bad so fast."

"So... you knew it was infected?"

"Yeah, but it was just-"

"How long?"

"Huh?"

"How long did you know?"

Sora was far more concerned than puzzled now. "I noticed on the gummi ship after you said yours wasn't looking good. Why?"

Riku's heart had started thundering in his ears, racing as fast as his thoughts. He'd known he was sick that whole time. He'd know he was putting his life in danger, and for what? Riku clenched his fists in an attempt to stop them from shaking. "So the entire time we were here... you knew?"

"Well, yeah, but I-"

"Why didn't you say anything?" 

An empty pit was growing in Sora's stomach. He sat up and raised his hands in front of him, trying to get the words out before Riku got the wrong idea, he needed him to know he hadn't just been ignoring this. He knew it would have been smarter to tell the doctors, he knew it was dumb that he'd tried to put it off, but he'd been sure he was fine at the time. Getting the air in to speak took too long and Riku cut him off. "I was-"

"We were here for hours before you collapsed!"

Sora winced a little at the look Riku was giving him. "I-"

"What the hell is wrong with you, why didn't you tell the doctors? Or me?" Riku wasn't sure when he had gotten to his feet or when he started yelling, but he was now and he didn't care. Sora had promised not to keep doing this, he'd sworn to him hiding his pain, mental or physical, was something he would never do with him again. He'd promised not to grin and just bear it and let it fester until it overwhelmed him like all those times before. He'd promised to give a shit about himself, to actually try and care about himself. Minimising the severity of his 'cold' was one thing, but this?

Sora was starting to feel angry now as well. If Riku would just let him take a breath and get a word in he could explain that he hadn't meant for this to happen, he had been going to say something once they knew Kairi was going to be OK and they were out of the hospital. He just hadn't wanted to say it while they were here... "Riku-"

"I thought you were going to die Sora!"

"I know, but-"

"You could have died! All because you didn't want to bother anyone? What the hell is wrong with you!"

"No! That's not-"

"How could you be so fucking stupid!"

Sora froze. 
Something in him broke at those words. 
Riku thought he was stupid. But really... why shouldn't he. 

He dropped his gaze to his knees, unable to meet Riku's eyes anymore. In an instant, all the fight had gone out of him. "I... I'm really sorry Riku." 

Riku stared at him for a few more moments, jaw clenched to hold back more harsh words. Then he stormed out. 

As the door swung shut behind him Sora heard him mutter the word "Idiot..."

It took a long walk around the sprawling gardens to calm Riku's outrage. Some of it at least. In its place, it left a dull anger and a pit of shameful regret. He didn't want to take back everything he had said, but he desperately wished he could take back the way he had said it. He shouldn't have lost his temper like that with Sora... that expression on his face. He felt guilty, and hated that he had it in him to act in such a way. 

But he felt hurt as well. There was no denying that.

He'd returned a few hours after his meltdown but hadn't been able to face going back to Sora's room yet, so he'd spent at least another hour on a bench outside, trying to quell those smouldering embers of frustration at the back of his mind just a little bit more. It was probably about time for him to go back and apologise for exploding the way he had though. He just hoped he could keep his temper in check this time... Maybe it would be better if he left for a little while afterwards and did stay at Leon's tonight. Then they could talk about things more evenly tomorrow. 

The sun was low in the sky when he eventually pushed himself to his feet, and made his way into the reception area, head bowed and hands in his pockets. It was as if a bomb went off the moment he entered the room.

"HEY, YOU!"

He jerked his head up and found Kairi, Aqua, Ven, and several startled strangers all staring at him. Or in the case of the people he knew, glaring. Kairi came bowling towards him in her wheelchair so fast he thought for a moment she was going to try and run him over. He threw his hands up and took a step back "Kairi, what-"

"What the hell is wrong with you! Why would you yell at him like that?!"

Oh.

He bristled, the anger he'd felt earlier creeping up once again. "Look, I know I shouldn't have blown up like that but I'm pissed off, all right Kairi?"

"Well I doubt you're half as pissed off as I am," she growled. "You, me, outside, now." She wheeled past him out the automatic doors, and, after a moment's hesitation, he followed. She led him around the side of the building and rounded on him the moment they were out of earshot. "I know this has been awful for you and you're stressed but... how could you yell at him and call him an idiot like that?"

"He sure as hell acted like an idiot!" He hadn't wanted it to come back but the fury had well and truly returned now. "Did he tell you that he already knew he was sick? He knew his cut was infected and he just sat there and ignored it! You didn't see how bad it was, you didn't-"

"Don't you dare try and turn this around on him!" Kairi couldn't remember the last time she'd felt such animosity towards a friend. She, Aqua, and Ven had walked in on Sora crying quietly to himself not long after Riku left and, after much coaxing and completely ignoring his stubborn insistence that 'it's nothing,' and 'I'm just being dumb,' had forced an explanation out of him. 

"But he knew Kairi! And he just let himself... just let himself suffer and get this bad!"

"He knew he was sick but not like this, he honestly thought it was OK, and I bet he told you that and you just didn't believe him! Have you ever seen someone get sick that fast? Because he definitely hadn't, he had no idea what was going on Riku! He was so sick he barely knew where he was."

"He keeps doing this though! He refuses to take care of himself and he almost let himself die just because he didn't want to bother anyone, why won't-"

"That's not true!"

Riku was caught off guard by that. "What do you mean?"

"He was going to go see Aerith! He was going to get help-"

"What?" 

"-which you would have known if you'd talked to him instead of going off at him!"

That didn't make any sense. They'd been at the hospital, why would he have put it off if he was actually going to tell someone anyway? "But he could have said something while we were here?" Kairi ignored him and kept yelling.

"And do you know why he wanted to wait and see a friend instead of the doctors?" Riku shook his head slowly. "Because he was scared!"

"Of what?" He was still reeling from the news that Sora hadn't been planning on ignoring and hiding this, that he had wanted help. Now he was even more bewildered.

"Of being sick, and being in the hospital. He was terrified he was going to get stuck in a hospital bed, that's why he tried healing himself, he didn't want to have to stay here, and it's even more than that!" She cut him off before he could interrupt with more questions. "Did you bother to ask him why he had a panic attack? And tried to rip his IV out? Because I did, and it wasn't just because he woke up with a tube inside his chest," although that would have been enough for anyone, she thought bitterly, "it was because he thought he was back there Riku!"

He'd spent those first two days wondering if there were reasons, aside from the fever, why Sora was so afraid, but he only realised now that he hadn't talked to him at all about it. Why was that? Had he really been so wrapped up in his own head and stress that he hadn't thought to ask? "Why would he think he was in Quadratum again?"

Kairi shook her hea. He saw now that there were tears in her eyes, and her words were broken up by sharp breaths."Not there, just think for a moment, where was he the last time he had to have a bunch of wires attached to him? And when was the last time he woke up without knowing where the- the hell he was, or- or surrounded by machines and- hurting and-" She choked back a sob and it hit Riku.

Ansem's lab. Where he had once woken up after reliving his nightmares while the scientists picked through his heart. Then again when he was taken by force, confused and isolated. And then he'd woken up in another laboratory. The one that had become his torture chamber. 

Even through the tears Kairi could see the horror of revelation on his face. "He's scared Riku, he spent so long sick and, and then- then that happened to him- you know how traumatised he was and- this place makes him think- of that, and- and you yelled at him..."

He felt ill. He stood silent for several minutes, certain if he opened his mouth right now he'd be sick, and listened to Kairi trying to suppress her crying.

"I didn't know..."

"Yeah, well... you would have if you'd just talked to him." She wiped her eyes on the sleeve of her sweater. "He's sick and scared Riku, and you yelled at him and called him an idiot... How could you do that to him?" She sniffed and wiped her eyes again, before looking up and glaring at him. "You better get back in there and fix this!"

He stared at the ground. The faint ringing in his ears was making him dizzy. Then he nodded slowly. "Yeah... Thanks, Kairi." He chanced a glance up at her and internally blanched at the anger in her eyes. He turned away, and made his way back.

When he entered the reception area Aqua and Ven were still sitting there and turned as the doors slid closed behind him. He wondered if they, and the other people in the room, had heard Kairi's tirade. If looks could kill he'd be a dead man right now. He'd never seen such resentment on Ven's face before, but it reminded him of a near-identical expression he'd seen on Roxas's face several years ago. He was lucky Roxas wasn't here, otherwise, he would have gotten a lot worse than that glare. Aqua's expression wasn't any softer, but she did put a hand on Ven's shoulder to stop him as he made to stand. He looked for a moment like he might try and push her hand off, but then his shoulders sagged and he slumped back into his chair, looking miserable. 

She threw Riku a look as he made his way past them which said very clearly just the same thing Kairi had told him. You better fix this. Sometimes he thought she saw Sora much more as a little brother than as a friend. It was times like this he was grateful for that. He deserved that look.

He knocked quietly on the hospital room door, his shame making the action timid, and when there was no response he pushed it open and peered around the edge. Sora was sitting in bed with his legs drawn up, arms crossed and resting on his knees, staring out the window. "Sora?" 

He didn't seem surprised by Riku's voice. Unexpected sounds while he was deep in thought always startled him and made him jump, but right now he just turned to Riku, which must mean he had heard the knocking. "Hey." His voice seemed hesitant.

There was an awkward pause. "Can I come in?"

Sora nodded, then averted his eyes, looking down at the space between his chest and knees.

As Riku walked over to the squishy chair beside the bed he noticed, with a horrible twist of guilt that felt well-deserved, that the bin beside the bed was once again filled with tissues. Sora didn't say a word or move a muscle as he sat down. Riku didn't know what to say yet either. He wasn't sure if he should try smiling at him. The muscles in his face might not cooperate and it would probably just come out as something unpleasant.

There were dried tear tracks down Sora's face and, even with his eyes downcast, Riku could see how red and swollen they were. He was looking gaunt after so many days barely being able to keep food down. He must be feeling so awful... What the hell is wrong with me, Riku thought bitterly. "Sora-"

"I'm really sorry Riku," Sora cut him off before he could start. "You're right, I'm such an idiot..." Riku was stunned into silence, not quite able to find his voice. Sora glanced up at him. "Riku I..." He dropped his head back down quickly, resting his forehead on his knees so his face was obscured by his arms. "I'm so sorry."

"No! Sora, stop, please." He reflexively reached out a hand for his shoulder, then drew it back. He doubted Sora wanted him touching him right now. "Please don't apologise, I'm the one who should be apologising."

"No..." Sora moaned, voice muffled as he kept his head down. "I messed up."

Riku couldn't stop himself now and moved to sit on the bed beside him, wishing he could hug him. "No! I should never have said those things to you, I'm sorry, I don't even know..." He trailed off lamely, already struggling to find the right words.

Sora raised his head a little, still keeping his eyes downcast. "You were right though."

"No! Kairi explained," and talked some sense into me... "I was wrong."

Sora shook his head though. "First I got you guys injured, then I messed up and got myself sick, and then I made it even worse trying to heal myself... I'm so stupid..."

Riku slumped his shoulders, feeling defeated. Of course, he had to have gone and attacked one of Sora's insecurities... What the hell was wrong with him. He was meant to love him, take care of him, all the things Sora did for him. He was meant to lift him up, not tear him down. He badly wanted to take his hands to try and comfort him, but was scared Sora would push him away. "You're not Sora, don't say that."

Keeping in control when it came to Sora, especially anything that might hurt or put him in danger, was something he wasn't sure he'd ever stop struggling with. Sora always brought out the most extreme emotions in him. And now he'd gone and let those feelings hurt him, the person he wanted to protect from pain most in the world.

"I am though, you said it yourself... I'm really sorry."

"Sora please don't apologise, none of this was your fault." If anyone is to blame it's probably me... He should have noticed how sick he was. Sora had gained so much of his strength back in the last year that maybe he had just taken for granted that he must be OK. They'd both been so worried about Kairi that this had just slipped past them. "You couldn't have known this would happen, and Kairi told me you were going to go see Aerith, I thought you were just lying to me but I know you weren't now, and... even if you had been, you're not stupid." Sora raised his head and met his desperate gaze, and his eyes were utterly empty. The guilt made Riku's heart itself feel sick. "You're not an idiot, I've never thought that."

"But I should have gone to see Aerith straight away though, I shouldn't have left it..."

"You didn't know it was so serious, I don't blame you for waiting so that you could stay with Kairi and me." Sora stared back at him for several seconds which felt much longer than they were.

"Really?"

"Yeah," he said and tried to smile at him. "I'm not angry with you, I never should have gotten angry with you like that before." He paused. "I'm sorry for yelling at you, it was just... The idea of losing you... I was scared and freaked out, that doesn't make it OK though!" Why am I making excuses... "I never should have said those things. Kairi told me why you didn't want to talk about it while we were at the hospital as well, and-"

He stopped, taken aback as Sora gave a snort of derision. His gaze dropped, and his face twisted into a crooked smile that looked anything but happy. "Yeah, pretty pathetic, huh?"

"What?"

"Too scared to even let a doctor take my temperature." He shook his head slowly. "Then I went and had a tantrum just because of a needle in my arm, you all must think I'm pretty weak and pathetic after this."

Riku was shocked. How on earth could he think that about himself? Then again, seeing his own value wasn't something Sora excelled at... "There's nothing pathetic about you Sora, I've never for a second thought that. No one who knows you could ever think that." The room was silent for a while as Riku searched for the right words. "After everything that has happened... Sora, you're the strongest person I know." Another long pause, and then Sora peered up at him. 

He hoped he wasn't imagining it, but his eyes were looking less empty. He didn't say anything though, and Riku's stomach clenched. He'd really messed this up... "I wish I'd let you explain, I'm really sorry."  He was such an idiot. He closed his eyes as they began to sting.

But then he felt something warm on his hand. He opened his eyes and saw Sora's hand resting on his. "It's OK." He was giving Riku a smile that he felt he didn't deserve. "Thanks, Riku." Riku wasn't sure which he felt more, relief that Sora didn't hate him, or guilt that he was just forgiving him so easily. He took Sora's hand in both of his and tried to smile as well. Sora's widened for a moment, but then faded. "I'm sorry for scaring you so much."

Riku couldn't help but laugh. How, how was he apologising right now. "If you say sorry one more time then you'll actually owe me an apology." Sora made a faint sound of amusement and Riku was grateful that he'd managed to make him laugh a tiny bit. "I don't think you're stupid, or weak."

"I believe you."

Riku beamed at him, then smirked. "Although..." -Sora's eyes went wide- "I'd love you anyway, even if you were." Sora stared for a moment, then laughed. Unfortunately, this set off another round of coughing, but it was a far less grating one than it had been a day ago. Riku rubbed his arm, and then took his hand again once he'd recovered. "It would be great if you could pay attention to yourself a little more in the future though"

Sora snickered and nodded. "I'll try." He smiled at Riku for a bit, then gave a wide yawn. He'd been awake far too long by now.

"You should get some sleep," Riku said, giving his hand a squeeze, and Sora nodded as he yawned again. Maybe that meant it was time for him to go... "I understand if you don't want me around for a bit, I can go stay at Leon's tonight-"

"You're leaving?" Sora interrupted, looking confused.

"I just thought... you might want me to. I'll stay if you want me here though?"

"Of course I do." He beamed at him, face splitting into his perfect grin, and causing Riku to melt a little.

"Can I hug you?" he asked tentatively. Sora laughed and answered by opening his arms wide. Exhausted as well, Riku sighed with relief and lay down with him. He draped an arm across his waist as Sora wrapped an arm around his shoulders, so he could tuck his head under his chin. 

When Kairi and the others came to check on them later they found them curled up together, both fast asleep.