Chapter 1: Go with this idea or no?
Chapter Text
After Erin leaves Chicago (Eight months later) Jay is in a horrible accident.
- The team tries to reach Erin but she had been undercover and hurt so she couldn’t look at her phone or anything.
- Voight gets worried so he calls Olivia and when she tells Hank what happened he rushes to the airport and flies to New York.
Sound like a good idea?
Chapter 2: Chapter One
Chapter Text
Finally writing this. Sorry for the long wait.
If I end up writing the wrong name, my apologies. I’ve been so focused on Station 19 stories and those characters lol. I've already corrected myself as I was writing this but please feel free to correct me if I still missed any.
Chapter One
Erin had been in New York for nearly six months when she got calls from nearly everyone she knew from Chicago. She was working on an undercover case where kids kept going missing from an elementary school in the Upper East Side in NYC and had gone in as a TA (Teacher’s assistant). She had been undercover for a few months when her cover had been blown when one of the criminals heard her phone from her boss. Olivia, who had been watching the case, found out Erin’s cover was blown and tried to get the FBI to tell her what was happening. After a couple of days of not hearing from Erin at all the FBI and Olivia went to what was supposed to be Erin’s safehouse but found it trashed. They went through, room by room and when Olivia got to the bedroom she saw Erin, facedown, dressed in only a bra and pants, passed out with a cut on her head and bruises forming on her back and from what she could see of her stomach.
“Oh, my God.” Olivia was shocked to find Erin that way.
Olivia had called for paramedics and got Erin to the hospital. She took out her phone to let Cragen know what was happening and that she would be at the hospital for a while.
Present
Olivia had been pacing in the waiting room for over 45 minutes. She hadn’t heard anything and was beginning to worry about the young fed. She had just sat down when she felt her phone vibrating. She rushed up when she saw that it was Hank Voight. She furrowed her eyebrows, wondering why he would be calling. She got up and walked out of the waiting room, not wanting to disturb anyone. She got outside of the hospital and answered.
“Hank Voight. What can I do for you?” Olivia tried to remain calm, but she knew that Erin was like his daughter and would be extremely shocked and saddened to hear the news.
“Any chance you’ve been in contact with Lindsay lately?” Hank asked and Olivia closed her eyes. “I need to tell her something, but she isn’t answering her phone for me or anyone else.”
Olivia could tell he was worried and didn’t want to lie to him. “Hank…” Olivia started.
“What?” Hank asked, panic now clear in his voice. “What is it? Did something happen?” Olivia opened her eyes and sighed.
“Hank, she was working undercover but her cover was blown.” Olivia heard Hank’s breath hitch. There was silence on the line for several moments.
“Where are you?”
“Lenox Hill Hospital” Olivia answered simply.
“I’m on my way.” That was all Hank said before hanging up. Olivia just stared at her phone. She didn’t know what to do. I thought I would be able to look after her while she was in New York. Stop anything bad from happening to her. Olivia thought.
Olivia was sitting in the waiting room for another hour before a doctor finally came out and she stood up when the doctor noticed her.
“Hi, what’s going on with Erin?” Olivia rushed out.
The doctor, Doctor Philips, sighed. “Erin had to have her head patched up with over five stitches and then they had to take her down to surgery.”
Olivia’s heart dropped. “What happened?”
“She made it through surgery.” Olivia sighed, thankful she was okay, but she wanted to know what had led Erin to the hospital in the first place.
“I’m thankful for that but do you know all that happened to her?”
The doctor’s expression remained natural and nodded. “Are you family?”
Olivia shook her head.
“No, but right now I’m the closest thing to it. I’m also in NYPD’s SVU unit.” Olivia told the doctor, and showed her badge. “I know you’re not supposed to disclose personal information, but she has no family. Her mom is a drunk and went missing recently and dad is nowhere to be found.” The doctor nodded and looked down at her clipboard.
She sighed and looked back up at Olivia. “Before Erin came down to the OR she had some tests run.”
“What kind of tests?” Olivia asked, the pit in her stomach getting bigger with every second that passed. When the doctor hesitated and looked down at where Olivia knew her badge was, she felt sick. “Please tell me you're not about to tell me what I think you are,” Olivia begged.
“I’m sorry, Detective.” Doctor Philips said. “She came in with blood and bruises around that area” Olivia closed her eyes.
“Oh, God,” Olivia whispered but the doctor continued.
“When they further inspected, they found tears.” Olivia closed her eyes, and Doctor Philips noticed. “If you’d prefer it, I can skip this?” Olivia thought about how this would affect her.
“I’ve been doing this job long enough to know what you’re about to tell me, so please,” Olivia told her, deciding she didn’t want to hear the damage that had been done.
“Well, like I said, we took her to surgery because when we were doing our scans, we found out that a couple of her ribs had been broken which caused a lung to collapse.” Philips paused and looked down again. “When we moved onto her face, we saw that she had a broken nose and a black eye.”
“What about the cut on her head?” Olivia asked.
“The scans show that it was just superficial. There was no major damage done. Just the five stitches were needed, like I told you before.” Olivia sighed.
“Were there any other injuries?”
“Her right arm is broken.” Olivia ran a hand through her hair. She knew that would piss Erin off. “Other than that, no.” The doctor paused. “Police will just need a statement from her and then if she’s able to keep a meal down she should be good to go home.”
“I’ll get one of my colleagues to come and take Erin’s statement.” Olivia paused. “Is she going to be okay enough to get on a plane? Her home is in Chicago, not here.”
Doctor Philips looked down at her clipboard again and turned to the back page. “Right now, she’s stable. If it stays that way overnight, she should be okay to travel.” Olivia nodded.
“Can I see her?” Olivia knew she wasn’t that close to Erin, but she was there for her after Nadia, and she hoped Erin would let her in now.
“She’s in room 202. I can take you up if you’d like?” Olivia shook her head.
“I’ll find my way, thank you for talking to me, Doctor.” Doctor Philips just nodded and walked back to the nurse’s station.
Olivia pulled out her phone and dialled Amanda. She only had to wait a couple rings for her to answer.
“Rollins”
“Amanda, I need you to get to Lenox Hill Hospital right now. We need to interview a victim.”
“Alright, I’ll be there in 10.” There was a pause, “Liv, do you know who the victim was? I can tell you’re concerned by the waver you had in your voice.”
Olivia sighed. “Yeah. You know her too. Just get down here, Amanda.” Olivia didn’t hear a reply. Amanda had hung up, so she decided to make her way to an elevator and up to the second floor. She walked to Erin’s room but stopped in the doorway when she saw the state that Erin was in. She sighed and took in that Erin was connected to a heart machine and had an oxygen mask covering her face. She was stuck in a daze until she felt someone touch her shoulder.
“Liv,” Amanda said and turned Olivia around to face her. “What’s going on? Who’s in that room?”
Olivia looked down for a moment before looking back up at Amanda. “It’s Lindsay, Erin Lindsay.” Amanda looked from Olivia, walked past her into the room and there Erin was. She was shocked.
“What the hell happened to her?”
Olivia sighed and was about to answer when someone else joined them in the room. “She was taken by human traffickers that have been watching Erin since Chicago. We had caught wind of them being in New York and wanted to take them down.” Someone Olivia recognized as Erin’s boss in the FBI. Her nostrils flared.
“Why the fuck didn’t you come to us? That’s our fucking specialty.” Olivia spat out. Having no patience for the woman who blackmailed Erin out of Chicago.
“We wanted to have all the case details, try to solve it ourselves.” Jennifer Spencer told them. Jennifer put a hand up, stopping Olivia from talking. “Benson, I know you would have liked to at least help, but we knew you had worked with Lindsay closely before and we didn’t want any conflict of interest to interest”
Olivia was pissed off. She only knew Erin from a work point of view. “We’ve never talked or hung out outside of work. There was no conflict of interest!” Olivia told Jennifer, spitting it out.
Amanda had to stop Olivia from getting any closer to Jennifer.
“Look, Agent Spencer, we just wanted some time with Erin to get her statement before she talks to anyone else. Let us talk to her and get her statement.” Amanda saw the hesitation in Jennifer’s face. “We’ll call you when we’re done.” Amanda tried to convince her to get her to leave them alone, doubting Erin would want to be anywhere near her when she woke up.
“I’ll be expecting your call by the end of the day,” Jennifer told them and left the room.
Olivia and Amanda watched her go.
“God, I will forever hate that woman.” Olivia spat out. Amanda nodded, agreeing.
The pair walked into the room, closed the door, and then turned to the bed. Olivia walked closer, grabbed a stool, and grabbed Erin’s left hand. She took in the black and purple bruises around Erin’s eyes and the gaze that was covering her broken nose. She looked at the white cast on her right arm.
“What the hell happened to her, Liv?” Amanda asked, shocked that this could happen to Erin.
“She was beaten and raped,” Olivia told her, rushing it out. Hating to say the words.
Amanda looked at her, shock and hurt clear on her face. She looked back down to Erin and when she saw the bruises she was horrified that this happened. Erin should’ve been safe with the FBI looking out for her. While both women were stuck in their thoughts Erin was starting to wake up an hour later. She felt a sharp pain in her side and whimpered, alerting the two other women in the room to her awakening.
“Erin. Erin, what hurts?” Olivia asked her, standing up. Erin looked at her, pain in her eyes and Olivia’s heart broke at the pain the young woman was in. “Erin?”
Erin wanted to answer her, she wanted to tell Olivia that the pain was in her side, but she couldn’t because the pain was taking her breath away.
“Erin?” The three women heard from the doorway. “Oh my god.” Hank Voight said as he was coming into the room and saw Erin’s face covered in bruises and blood. Erin whimpered again and Hank rushed to her side, Olivia moving out of the way. Hank ran a hand over Erin’s head, pushing stray hairs back. “Kid, can you tell me where it hurts?”
Erin took a deep breath and moved her left hand to point to her stomach.
“Hank, Erin had a lung collapse, I think she needs some more pain meds. I’ll grab a doctor.” Olivia told him and walked out of the room before he could even nod.
Hank turned to face Amanda. “Can I get a moment alone with Erin or do you still need to get a statement from her?” Hank asked, hurt clean in his eyes.
“We still need to get her statement,” Amanda told him softly, knowing what Erin meant to him. Hank nodded.
“I’ll step out and come back in an hour. Will that be enough time?” Amanda shrugged.
“I hope so, but I don’t know how Erin will do with having to recall what happened to her.” Amanda paused. “Do you want to stay here with her? I know it’ll be hard to hear but I think she’d want you here.” Hank looked down at Erin and saw her nodding. She reached for her oxygen mask and took it off.
“Please.” Erin’s raspy voice said, wanting someone she trusted with her life to be around her. “As long as you’re okay with it, Hank.”
Hank nodded right away and gently held onto Erin’s right hand and sat down where Olivia previously was and helped Erin to put the mask back on.
While they were waiting for a doctor, Hank was looking down at Erin’s hand. He saw the obvious marks that he assumed she got while trying to get away from her attackers. This never would have happened if Jennifer Spencer hadn’t blackmailed Erin with Bunny facing charges. We would’ve protected her.
Erin saw that Hank was getting angry and gently moved her hand. Hoping to get him out of his own, probably destructive thoughts. She saw him looking down and shaken out of his thoughts when she moved again.
“Need something, kid?” Hank asked. “Besides some pain meds.”
“Oh shit,” it was muffled through the mask, but Hank still heard her. He watched Erin panic and take off the mask again. “What the hell are they going to be giving me, Hank?” Erin asked, leaving the mask off this time. Hank was confused for exactly a second before recognition crossed his face.
Hank looked up at her IV line and sighed. “They must have looked at your file, it’s not anything that will set you back, Kid. Okay? Don’t worry about that. That’s the last thing you have to worry about.” Erin, too tired to argue, just nodded. Hank watched her close her eyes and he gently covered her face again with the O2 mask.
She whimpered again and Hank looked up at the door. “Where the hell is that doctor?” Amanda shrugged but a doctor came in at the same time.
“Right here.” Hank saw a doctor walk into the room. “Sorry for the wait.”
Hank got up so the doctor had access to her IV and pumped some more pain meds. “I’ll let you get her statement and then I’ll be back to record her vitals again.” Voight, Olivia, and Amanda nodded and watched the doctor walk out before turning back to Erin who had opened her eyes to look at all of them.
Erin took the mask off and looked at Amanda. “Well? Just ask me already. I want to get this over with and I want to get home.” The three watched a tear roll down her face while her voice cracked when saying ‘home’. She looked at Voight. “Please.” Erin almost begged.
“There’s something you need to know before you come back. If you even want to come back after I tell you, Erin,” Voight told her and she furrowed her eyebrows.
“Just tell me. Please.”
“After you give your statement, Erin,” Hank told her and she nodded.
Amanda sat down where Erin could see her and began. “A few days ago…”
Chapter 3: Chapter Two
Chapter Text
Chapter Two
Sorry for the long wait, everyone. I have kept trying to write this chapter since I posted the last one but writer's block for this story has been unreal :(
“There’s something you need to know before you come back. If you even want to come back after I tell you, Erin,” Voight told her, and she furrowed her eyebrows.
“Just tell me. Please.”
“After you give your statement, Erin,” Hank told her, and she nodded.
Amanda sat down where Erin could see her and began. “A few days ago…”
“A few days ago, I was supposed to be in a UC op that had me be a drug dealer, I hooked up with a CI who had moved here from Chicago and since I knew her, I figured I could trust her. They had never led me on a wild goose chase before.” Erin sighed. “She set me up. The people she told me we would have a deal with were professional hitmen. Only they didn’t kill me. They hooked me up on a wall. They played, taunted, and did whatever they wanted to me for what felt like weeks,” Erin told them, voice cracking, tears in her eyes.
“I know this is hard, Erin,” Amanda started. “But I need to know what they did to you.”
Erin swallowed. “They beat me. Hit me with bats,” Erin told them, and Voight bowed his head, hating this. “They stripped me, whipped me and I couldn’t even keep track of what else because I was in so much pain.”
Amanda wrote down some more notes and nodded, waiting for Erin to continue.
“I kept blacking out from the pain and once when I woke up I was tied to a bed,” Erin let a couple of tears fall. “There were three men,” Erin said, and Olivia closed her eyes, knowing where Erin’s retelling of events was going. “they stood over me and just poked and prodded me,” Erin sobbed and looked down, not able to control her emotions anymore.
Olivia gently ran her hand over Erin’s back while Voight gripped Erin’s hand tighter.
“I’m sorry, Erin. Just one more question,” Amanda told Erin. Erin sighed and nodded. “Was anything happening before the FBI broke in and got you out?”
Erin shook her head. “No, they had all recently beaten and raped me and I tried to get off the bed, but I just ended up falling and I collapsed I guess since the next time I woke up I was here,” Erin explained, and Voight was having a hard time keeping his anger in control.
Amanda nodded, finished writing down whatever she was writing, and closed the small notebook.
“Thanks for talking to me, Erin,” Amanda paused and looked at Liv. Liv nodded and Amanda walked out of the room.
Erin watched the interaction and was confused. “What’s going on?” Erin asked Olivia.
Olivia cleared her throat. “We need you to consent to a rape kit,” Olivia rushed out. She watched Erin’s face drop and look down. “I’m sorry, Erin. Just figured you may want to get this out of the way as soon as possible.” Olivia reasoned.
“Just get it done,” Erin said, not looking at anyone.
Olivia motioned for Voight to leave the room with her so they could leave the doctor and nurse to do the kit.
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Two hours later, Voight was sitting next to Erin, holding her hand trying to think of how to tell Erin about Jay when Erin began to stir.
“Hey, kid,” Voight said, gentler than Erin had heard since she was a struggling teen.
“Hi,” Erin replied, looking down at their hands. It was silent between the two for a moment when Erin’s raspy voice cut through the silence. “Don’t think that I forgot you had something to tell me about Jay,” Erin said, making Voight smirk. He was glad to know that this hadn’t crushed Erin completely. His smirk faded when he looked at Erin. He saw her waiting expression and sighed.
“Before I got on a flight to come here there was an accident,” Voight tried to tread slowly. Erin’s expression faltered, worry now clear on her face. “Jay and Al were chasing a suspect into a house when the suspect started shooting,” Voight watched Erin begin to frown, “Erin, both Al and Jay shot their guns, but the suspect did too,” Voight told her, waiting for her response.
Erin felt her heart drop and her mouth gaped open, dread filling her on what Voight would tell her next.
“Hank, are they okay?” Erin asked, voice shaking, concern etched on her face. Voight looked her in the eyes and shook his head.
“Al was admitted with a gunshot to the abdomen with a collapsed lung. He made it through surgery but Jay,” Voight swallowed back his emotions. “Jay didn’t make it through his surgery,” Vought told Erin and watched her eyes well up with tears and one fall before she quickly wiped it away. “Erin, I’m so sorry.”
“I still want to go back, Hank. Especially now,” Erin told him, and Voight wasn’t sure what to make of the expression on Erin’s face. The look was there only a few seconds before it was replaced with clear devastation again. “what about the suspect? What happened to them?”
“He was shot three times. He was taken to the hospital but died on the table,” Voight told her, and Erin shook her head.
“He got off lucky not having to serve a prison sentence,” Erin spit out, pissed that he got let off easy.
“I know, kid. I’m sorry, Erin. I am so sorry I couldn’t protect him better,” Voight said, looking down.
Erin shook her head. She knew it wasn’t Voight’s fault. This was the criminal who shot Jay's fault.
“It isn’t your fault, Hank. You can’t be everywhere all at once,” Erin tried to reassure but could see it wasn’t working. “Hank, I get you feel responsible for your team, I know because I’ve been there, but you cannot always protect us,” Erin squeezed his hand, trying to comfort him.
“I know. I know I can’t. I just wish this turned out differently,” Voight sighed.
Erin nodded and then yawned. “Hank, I think I should get some rest. Do you think you can bear to leave me alone for a little bit? You should go get something to eat,” Erin tried and was glad when Voight agreed and left.
Erin sighed but groaned when she felt a rush of pain go through her. She looked at her IV and sighed. She was sure whatever they were giving her wasn’t going to set her back but the fact that Jay is now gone, would. So, Erin sighed and pushed the nurse's button.
“Everything okay, Erin?” A nurse asked, walking in a few moments later.
Erin nodded. “In a little pain is all.”
The nurse nodded and walked over to her IV to pump some more pain medication in it before leaving.
Erin closed her eyes and tried to relax and sleep. She closed her eyes and all she saw was Jay. Jay in the car with her. Jay in her old apartment and her eyes teared up again. Being alone, she felt free to let the tears fall, not caring about holding them in anymore. She let out a sob and pulled the thin blanket that was covering up to her neck, starting to feel cold.
Erin sobbed to herself for a few minutes when she felt her eyes getting heavy. She realized how exhausted she was and let the pain medication lull her to sleep, memories of Jay and what happened to her, haunting her.
Chapter 4: Chapter Three
Chapter Text
Chapter Three
Erin closed her eyes and tried to relax and sleep. She closed her eyes and all she saw was Jay. Jay in the car with her. Jay in her old apartment and her eyes teared up again. Being alone, she felt free to let the tears fall, not caring about holding them in anymore. She let out a sob and pulled the thin blanket that was covering up to her neck, starting to feel cold.
Erin sobbed to herself for a few minutes when she felt her eyes getting heavy. She realized how exhausted she was and let the pain medication lull her to sleep, memories of Jay and what happened to her, haunting her.
Voight had been gone from the room for about 20 minutes and was heading back when he heard Erin’s sobs as he stood outside the door. He knew this wouldn’t be easy for her and he felt heartbroken for her. He knew how much Erin loved Jay and also knew how much she hated coming to New York and that she only left to protect her mother. While Voight understood he also hated how Erin constantly protected the woman who never protected her growing up.
Voight sighed and knocked gently on the door before opening it, wanting Erin to hear him coming so he wouldn’t scare her.
Voight walked into the room and pulled one of the chairs closer to the hospital bed. “Hey kid, is there anything I can do?” Voight asked, slowly reaching for Erin’s hand.
Erin shook her head. “What’s going to happen now?” Erin asked, staring at the blanket in front of her, not being able to make eye contact with Hank.
“Well, You’ll need to heal before anything else obviously,” Voight told Erin and watched as she sighed.
“So, I’m stuck in this hospital for a while I’m assuming?”
Voight shook his head. “Just until tomorrow so they can double-check that your head injury isn’t more serious than it is,” Voight explained. “Also, you won’t be able to travel until the pain fades.”
Erin snaps her head up. “What? What about Jay?” Erin asked, looking at Voight, tears forming in her eyes once again.
“We can hold off on the funeral until you’re able to come home,” Voight told her, gently grabbing her hand. Erin looked down and nodded. “Look, until you’re able to travel I want you to stay with Olivia, okay? I trust her and while I have to get back to Chicago tomorrow she’ll still be here.” Voight said.
Erin sighed and nodded. “Fine, I’ll stay with Olivia until I’m well enough to travel,” Erin agreed.
“Thank you, Erin. I know you want to fly home and I know I want you to fly back with me but if anything happens on the plane it’s,” Hank hesitated. “It’s too much of a risk,”
Erin nodded again. “I know. I know. How’s Al doing?” Erin asked, worried about one of her oldest mentors.
Hank smiled gently and ran a thumb over Erin’s hand. “He’s awake. The bullet was a through and through. I wanted to make sure he was okay before I left. You know how much he means to me.” Erin nods. “So, one of the doctor’s requests is for you to eat. Is there anything I can get you?”
Erin was about to answer when the door opened.
“Detective Lindsey we need to talk,” The person said, and Erin tensed in the bed, gripping Hank’s hand tighter. Hank looked up and his face hardened when he saw Jennifer Spencer.
TBC
