Chapter Text
The next day is Saturday. The Elite are expected to be in the Woman’s Room. Where I have promised to begin a new… friendship with Glimmer.
As my maids dress me for the day, I ask to wear the pair of pants that Peeta had gifted me. They are as amazing as I remember them to be, but they remind me of Lavinia, because the first time I wore them, she was there to gush about them with me.
Before I leave to join the others downstairs, I take the key and ring out of my bag. I ask Octavia to get me a chain; I loop the key through it and tuck it under the bodice of my shirt. The ring I wrap in a plain handkerchief and put it into my pocket. I have plans to hide them this afternoon. Somewhere no one would find them.
I ask my maids one last thing.
“Octavia? Flavius? Venia?”
They all perk up.
“Do you think you could ask around… or maybe one of you, or another maid you know, could check on Annie in the hospital wing?” They all look at one another. “Please, just to know if she is okay.”
“Yes, Lady,” says Flavius. “We can peek. But nothing more.”
“Just a peek is all I need. Thank you.”
Johanna is still not at her post. But this is not the first time she has missed a shift. Last time she said she had been asked to do something else. Another time she said she had overslept. Either way, I am not too worried about what kept her away. I only hope she has had some success in investigating Lavinia’s death.
Downstairs, I enter the Woman’s Room. We do not have a class until noon. No art or music this week. This week, we will have classes on debate. On Friday, during the Panem Report, the Elite will hold debates with one another as a means to test our wit and to entertain the people. It is said to be a good way to determine our future ability as monarchs. But I’m quite certain it is just to divide us.
Delly sits at a table, playing with cards. She waves me over, as usual, but instead of going to her, I spot Glimmer sitting in the window seat. Clove is not in the room, yet. Which is a relief. Mia and Lila are gossiping at a table. Everyone watches me walk over to Glimmer and sit beside her.
Sunlight falls through the window, warming my skin. Glimmer’s golden hair shimmers in the light.
“Good morning,” she says. “How did you sleep?”
“Well enough.” I turn and look out at the garden. “I will try to speak to Peeta soon. Again, I cannot promise anything other than that I have put in the suggestion.”
“And you’ll tell him that I am kind and generous?” she prompts.
I shrug.
“Well, I think in time you’ll see it’s true.” She repositions herself, turning to face me. “You might be surprised, if you took the time to know me.”
It is a hard thing to argue against. And to be fair, while Glimmer has been icy, she has not been outright cruel, like Clove.
“The company you keep makes that difficult to believe,” I say.
“Clove has clung to me,” says Glimmer. “But I know once I have lost my usefulness to her, she will abandon me.”
“Or has she spent her usefulness to you, and you have made quick work of discarding her?”
Glimmer takes a moment, then her smile builds on her face.
“You’re clever,” she says. “I like that.”
“Will you tell me what you know about Lavinia?” I ask.
“I can.” Glimmer examines her nails as she speaks. “I only know where she went after you two spoke that morning. I saw her in the hall outside my room just an hour later. She seemed anxious. She had a long red ribbon in her hand.”
“What?” I say, shocked.
“A red ribbon,” she repeats, looking startled by my shock.
“What kind of ribbon?” I ask. “Silk? Velvet?”
“Silk, I think.”
It couldn’t be my silk red ribbon, could it? My missing ribbon?
Why would Lavinia have it?
“Why is the ribbon important?” asks Glimmer.
“I’m not sure it is. I just… I want to know as much as I can. To know what happened.”
“I don’t get it. She killed herself.”
“I don’t think she did.”
“You don’t think another girl did it, do you?” she asks, skeptical.
“I don’t know.”
Glimmer looks around the room.
“Well, if one of the Selected did, it most definitely isn’t anyone still here. I mean come on. I would never get my hands dirty like that. You, Mia, and I have an alibi. Lila and Delly are not smart enough, and they’d probably break after one interrogation. Clove… well, Lavinia was much taller and stronger than Clove. I find it hard to believe Clove could have overpowered her.”
All of that is true. But as much as I am willing to tell Glimmer that I have doubts about Lavinia killing herself, I will not be telling her that I suspected King Mellark had a hand in her death. That would give Glimmer far too much power over me.
“Maybe she did kill herself, but I can’t help but want to know why, or how.”
“Well, she did seem anxious. She was pacing, as though she was waiting for someone or looking for someone. I thought maybe she was waiting for you to get back from your date. A guard came up to her eventually and they spoke for a moment, then she followed him somewhere.”
“Do you know which guard?”
“Not really. Plain looking?”
“Hair color? Height? Eye color?”
“I don’t know,” she complains. “I didn’t really take note of him. So, he was probably ugly.”
I resist the urge to roll my eyes.
Clove walks in a few moments later. She instantly spots Glimmer and I together. Her eyes narrow, but rather than making a scene, she marches over to where Delly is sitting. Delly looks too frightened to send her away. So, Clove and Delly play cards together, while Clove sends suspicious looks my way.
“Debates will be fun,” Glimmer says, in an attempt to change the subject.
“What makes you think so?”
“They’re competitive. I like competition.”
“Well, whoever is going against Delly won’t have to worry about that,” I say, not so much to disparage Delly, but out of sympathy, that Delly is much more a peacemaker than a disrupter.
“Effie will whip her into shape,” says Glimmer. “We have all week to prepare.”
Sure enough, Effie is not holding back during our class. We are given controversial topics to debate. We are forced to be on one side, then on the other. We practice first against Effie – and despite her snobbish appearance, she is quite fierce in a debate. She is quick with a response. She challenges all of us. We are pulling out books, trying to find any type of research to give our opinions credence. We are at it for four hours.
By the time they let us loose, I have to hurry out the back door before it’s time to get ready for dinner.
There is a light rainfall. I reach the stables, and walk up to Soot. He spots me the moment I enter, giving me a side eye.
“I know, I know,” I tell him. I reach over to where they keep his feed. I offer him a palm-full. “It’s been too long.”
“Lady Katniss,” says a stable hand. A Seven. His name is Bracken. He is short, with a boyish smile. “I didn’t think you’d visit today. Are you wanting to ride?”
“Not today,” I tell him. “I just came for a short time.”
“Okay,” he says. “Well, I’ll be in the back barn with the others, unless you need anything?”
“No, I’ll be fine.”
He smiles, his dimples popping. He looks relived. I know that the stable hands play cards in the back barn when there are no tasks in need of doing. He hurries out the back.
I open Soot’s stall, so I can slip inside. Soot steps over to give me room, watching me. He might be curious. Or he might be wondering if I brought any carrots. I pat his side.
“You’ll keep these safe for me, won’t you?” I whisper to him.
I go to the far corner of his stall. Underneath all the hay, there is a small corner of lifted wood. I examine the hollow floor underneath. It’s a damp and dirty hole. I wrap both the key and ring in the handkerchief and tuck them deep inside, then brush the hay back to where it belongs.
At dinner, Peeta is not there. Neither is King Mellark. Queen Mellark excuses their absence, but does not provide any explanation. I try to hide my disappointment, but it is pointless, because I think all of us are disappointed.
Delly sighs.
“It’s been a while since any of us have gotten a date,” whispers Mia.
“Do you think this is what it will be like to marry him?” wonders Lila. “Like… will we never get to see each other?”
“You should be grateful,” says Clove. She pierces a potato with her fork. “He’s probably doing something for the country. I, for one, am glad that he takes his duties seriously, rather than slacking off.”
“Seems lonely,” Delly whispers.
“At least we have each other,” I tell her.
Clove’s mouth twists, like what I have said has poisoned her food.
“For now,” she spits.
“Lady Katniss is right,” says Glimmer. She brings her glass to her mouth and drinks. Then she smiles over at us. “We should be glad to have one another, at least while it lasts.”
Clove looks at Glimmer like she is waiting for the punchline of the joke. And when it doesn’t come, she looks down at her plate with anger. As if Glimmer has officially renounced their own alliance. Calling me “Lady Katniss” and affirming my opinion certainly solidifies where she stands with the group. Even Lila and Mia seem a little surprised, but also somewhat glad to hear Glimmer’s words. Glimmer hadn’t exactly familiarized herself with them; but her statement seems to announce a newfound desire to close ranks and make nice.
What I’m wondering is… is she truly feeling this way, or is she attempting to adopt my attitudes and opinions? Does she think acting more like me, will make Peeta fall for her?
It makes me feel a little nauseous.
After dinner, I find Johanna at her post. She makes a face that tells me she will speak with me once I’ve dismissed my maids.
My maids prepare me for bed. As they are changing me, Octavia leans down to my ear.
“The girl is gone,” she whispers. “No sign of her. The others say she has left the palace.”
I don’t know for sure if that means King Finnick has succeeded, but it gives me more hope that she was not there, than if she had been.
Not long later, Johanna and I are sitting on my bed.
“I’ve got a lead,” she says to me.
“I’ve heard some things, too,” I tell her.
“You first.”
I tell her everything that Glimmer shared with me. Johanna raises an eyebrow at the mention of a guard.
“Did she describe what he looked like?”
“No. She said he was ‘probably ugly’.”
“That could be any of them!” she complains.
“What did you find out?”
“Only that there is a pair of guards who are particularly upset about my questions in the barracks.”
“Are they both ugly?”
“Mostly. It’s hard to say if they are just Captain Cray’s cronies trying to squash any insubordination… but last night, they stopped me from coming to my post. They tried to bribe me to let it go, and then when that did not work, they tried to intimidate me.”
“They didn’t hurt you, did they?”
“Who do you think you’re talking to?” she asks. “I definitely broke one of their noses.” She shows me her hand, where her knuckles are scuffed. “But then all three of us were put in the brig for the night, for infighting. Scuffles happen, so no body thought too much of it. It was Cray who punished us, though. The fact that he punished them, too, makes me think they aren’t his.”
“Maybe one of them was the guard that spoke with Lavinia and walked off with her.”
“They could be. But why did she have your missing ribbon? Why would she go with him?”
“I don’t know.”
With that, she goes back to her post. I struggle to fall asleep, and before I know it, it’s the next day. As I am preparing to go down to breakfast, there is a knock at the door. My maids rush to throw a robe around my nakedness. The door opens and Peeta is there, looking exhausted.
“Good morning, ladies,” he says, nodding to my maids. “Would you mind stepping out for just a few minutes? I need to speak with Lady Katniss.”
Octavia looks at me, only in a robe, a little suspiciously, but does relent and steps out with Flavius and Venia.
Peeta walks over to the balcony doors, his back to me.
“I’m sorry to barge in so early. I know you’re not even dressed for the day, but this couldn’t wait.”
“What happened?”
“Multiple things,” he sighs, looking haggard. “Finnick’s pulled the rug out from under us. He came into the meeting on Friday like a madman. Raving on about how Panem has never wanted peace. He withdrew all his support. And he took Annie with him. My father is furious. He’s close to denouncing France publicly, but the advisers are doing everything they can to discourage him. The rest of the nations will not take it lightly. Finnick is well-liked. He has a reputation of being easy-going and kind. If Panem would denounce a person with that reputation, how easily will we turn on anyone else willing to be our allies?”
I freeze where I am. While I knew Finnick may have slighted the king, I did not realize he’d go so far. I did not tell him what happened to Annie, but he is smart. He probably knows Annie’s condition is the result of King Mellark’s orders. If someone did that to Peeta… or Prim… I guess I would also come in blazing…
Peeta turns back to me, and when he sees my expression, he takes pause.
“Why don’t you look surprised? Why…”
Why do I look sick with guilt?
“I spoke with Finnick after the Panem Report,” I admit.
“What in the world could you have said to him?”
“We only talked about Annie… I asked him to save her. I couldn’t stand by while she suffered. I couldn’t wait to see another Lavinia.”
Peeta seems to understand my sentiment, until I say ‘Lavinia’. His face becomes pained.
“There’s more,” he says, pacing. “Letters were retrieved from Lavinia’s room. At first, they seemed benign. Nothing suspicious. But our experts looked further. The person she was sending and receiving these letters from is not real. Whoever she was talking to was under a guise. And the letters had coded meanings. Our experts believe she may have been working for Ros.”
“That’s ridiculous,” I say. “They always find a way to blame Ros.”
“I thought that for a moment, but then I read the uncoded letters.” He stops, looking at me, as if in pity. “They were about you, Katniss.”
“What? Why in the world would she be talking to Ros about me?”
“She talks about all of the girls, at first, but the letters eventually all seem to be about you. While the experts could cipher the letters, they still wrote in terms that we do not understand. She said things like you are still “cloudy” and that the “hare is hibernating” … it was nonsensical to me.”
“Hares don’t hibernate,” I say.
“Yes, I know.”
I shake my head.
“I don’t believe it,” I tell him. “There’s no way. Wouldn’t her family know? How could she have been connected to Ros in the first place?”
“Her family is being interrogated as we speak.”
“They can’t!”
“I couldn’t stop it. I’ve just been watching things develop all night. All my attempts to speak were silenced.”
The reality of what they might do to Lavinia’s family hits me. Will they end up like Annie? Will they be put to death, even if they don’t know anything about these letters? What does any of it mean?
And I realize that all my secrets could lead down that same road.
If that key or that ring is found, what would they do to Prim?
None of my family knows anything about my doings here. But if I’m caught, it doesn’t matter. They’ll be tortured for information they don’t have. They’ll end up in comas, or their minds will be altered forever, or they’ll be dead…
I cover my face with my hands, to hide the tears, but the shaking of my chest gives it away. Peeta rushes over and tries to comfort me, but even wrapped up in his arms, I do not feel safe.
“My family,” I manage to say.
“They’re safe,” he tells me.
“But for how long?”
“I know the letters are scary, but if anything, it has only further convinced my father and his advisers that you have nothing to do with what happened and that you’re not involved with anything to do with Ros.”
“Why?”
“Some of the letters… implied things that seem to indicate they wanted to harm you.”
My body continues to betray me, and the tears won’t stop.
“Lavinia wouldn’t hurt me,” I say, certain of this.
Peeta walks me over to my bed, and we sit there, and he puts his arm around me.
“It seemed to me, that’s what went wrong… it seems to me that Lavinia was asked to harm you, and when she didn’t…”
“So, it’s my fault?” I ask. I replay my last conversation with Lavinia in my mind. “She said she couldn’t ‘go back’. I thought she just meant home… but what else could she have meant?”
“Maybe that she couldn’t go back on her word?”
I take a steadying breath. I have to hold it together. If I want to protect my family, I cannot let my emotions lead me into a mistake.
“Are you sure that’s what the letters were telling her to do?” I ask.
“I’m not certain, no. It’s all gibberish, but the letters seemed to insist on her doing something.”
“I was told by another girl that they saw Lavinia talking with a guard, and she went off with him, that day.”
“Do you know which guard?”
“No.” I stare down at my hands in my lap. “But Johanna got into a fight with two guards last night, because she was asking questions in the barracks. She seems to think they know something.”
“Which ones?”
“You’ll have to ask her.”
“I will. I’ll look into this. I promise.”
I look over at him. He still looks so tired – but determined.
“You’re not mad at me, about Finnick?”
“Of course not,” he says. “I mean, I was blindsided, and it was upsetting at first, seeing how angry he was, but I understand it. I wish I could stand up to my father like that. And I’ll miss him. He could never step foot in Panem again. But I understand why you did it. I am glad he could protect Annie, when I couldn’t. I wish I could have protected Lavinia, and my brother…”
“But if what the letters are saying is true… wouldn’t it be Ros who killed them?”
“And why do you think Ros killed them?” he says. “Because of this war. Because of my father.”
“And yet, you still want peace?”
“I do.”
“How?” I say, even though in my heart I know it is the right answer. “It seems hard to defend Ros. They have slaves. They are not just at war with us, they are disrespecting every law of war – they’re going beyond the battlefield, infiltrating the palace, killing not just soldiers, but civilians, the son of their enemy… it’s personal, it’s cruel…”
Peeta does not respond right away, he seems pensive. He takes one of my hands and squeezes it.
“Doesn’t it make you wonder… why they are doing that? I know my father. I know… I don’t need to see evidence… to know, that he is likely doing worse things to them. Things we could not fathom. Things we may never get to know about, unless we actually spoke with them… Two wrongs don’t make a right. If I continue this cycle of vicious revenge, what will be left?”
I want to share in his hope, but I feel deflated.
“I should go,” he says. “We’ll be late for breakfast.”
“Aren’t you going to sleep?”
“I will, later,” he says as he gets up. He still has a hold of my hand, and he pulls it up so that he can kiss it. “I’m sorry for starting your day like this. Let me make it up to you on Wednesday.”
I nod.
“I’ll have to take some of the girls on dates on Tuesday. To appease the cameras.”
“I understand… but um, do you think you could take Glimmer first?”
“Why?”
“She’s the one who saw Lavinia with the guard. I told her I’d put a good word in for her with you, in exchange for the information… I hope you don’t mind…”
Peeta smiles for the first time this morning, even chuckles.
“Well, I am yours,” he says, and somehow this makes my stomach feel fluttery. “I suppose if you want to loan me out to pay your debts, I am at your service.” He winks, letting me know it is all in good humor. “I’ll see you at breakfast.”
On Tuesday morning, I go riding with Soot. Both of my treasures remain safe.
When it is just Soot and I, I am not permitted to go into the forest, but I get to ride along its’ edge and peer in. It feels almost like freedom, even if the palace walls still bear down on me.
I’ve become much better at riding thanks to my little rides with him. Not so much because of skill, but because I have come to know Soot more. His tells and preferences are more obvious to me. The other stable hands have given me pointers. Even taught me how to saddle him.
It’s a short ride, because my true purpose for coming was to retrieve my key. I intend to spend the better part of the afternoon researching Ros.
As Soot and I come back around to the stables, Peeta is leaning on the wall outside, waiting.
I cannot help the smile that spreads across my face.
“Have you been waiting long?” I ask, dismounting.
Peeta steps forward and takes Soot’s reigns from me.
“Not long. I had a little time between dates to see my favorite girl.”
“Do you mean me, or Gingersnap?”
He laughs.
We walk into the stable, and he helps me take off Soot’s saddle. The stable hands spotted us together, and immediately made themselves scarce. Peeta offers Soot his reward.
“I had a trusted guard look into those two guards that Johanna fought with,” he whispers.
“Are we sure this is a ‘trusted’ guard?”
“Yes, he’s mine. My father has no influence over him.”
“Have I met this one?”
“No, he’s not assigned to me. This one used to be a cook’s child, who grew up in the palace with me. He’s my loyal friend, but not considered high enough caste to be assigned to a true royal, especially not the heir.”
“What did he find out?”
“Both of them were drafted, prior Eights. From the south.”
“A little suspicious, but doesn’t prove anything.”
“No, but he’s been sitting in on their recreational time. They like to drink. And when they drink, they get loose. He heard them talking about –” he pauses, but then says, “You’re an Elite, now. But you probably haven’t been told this yet. So, pretend you don’t know. Ros has a king of their own. King Snow. They were overheard speaking of him, which… as Eights, it’s not something they should know… but as guards, who have been around for as long as they have been, it is possible they heard of him, but according to my man, they seemed too familiar.”
“Any mention of Lavinia?”
“No, not yet, but he’ll continue to monitor them.”
“Thank you, Peeta.”
“It’s the least I could do,” he says. He glances over his shoulder. “I should be getting back.”
“Who’s next?”
“Delly.”
“What’ll you do?”
“Anything that will give the cameras and reporters a lot of material.”
“And tomorrow?” I ask, coy. “What’ll we do?”
He grins, and leans in close. “A surprise.”
I make a face. “I don’t like surprises.”
“Guess we will see whether you like this surprise or not,” he says, walking off.
I spend most of the afternoon reading in my secret library.
I find some promising things in one the books, but nothing concrete. This book seems mostly some kind of catalogue of property, relics, treasures. There are mentions of a “split” when it comes to Panem and Ros, but no details about what it means. Just property that was categorized as pre-split and post-split. Was Panem once ruled by two royal families? The Mellarks and the Snows? Was there some kind of disagreement, some betrayal that led to establishing two different warring factions? Except… I see no mention of a family with the name Snow… I keep coming across another name: Hawthorne. What is their part in this? Who is this family?
I do find different renditions of that bird, the Mockingjay.
Before I can move on to the next book, I have to return to the stables to hide my key, before I am expected in debate class.
As I am making my way down to the stables, I notice there is quite a bit of activity going on in the palace. There are maids cleaning things that normally aren’t cleaned. There are shipments of food and other goods being hauled into the foyer. When I pass the dining hall, I see Queen Mellark overseeing a spread of food, tasting them, and either giving her approval or asking for something else.
It seems to indicate that the palace is gearing up for some kind of event, but as far as I know, there is only going to be the debates on the Panem Report this week. Was there an unexpected royal guest coming?
I expect Effie to proclaim what it is, during our class, but she doesn’t.
Glimmer asks me if I know what is going on, but I just shrug. The others gossip as well, but none of us seem to know what to expect.
I ask my maids about it, but – suspiciously – they don’t have an answer.
“You’re telling me not even the service staff know what’s going on?” I ask.
Venia looks nervously over at Octavia. Octavia shoos her off. “Go clean something.” She turns to me, wagging a finger. “You know better than to pressure poor Venia.”
“So, you do know!”
“We have been sworn to secrecy.” Octavia pulls back the covers of my bed sharply. “Now, get to bed!”
“But –”
“No lip! Not tonight.”
I’m so surprised by Octavia’s staunchness, I do as I am ordered.
Octavia tucks me in tight.
“Rest well, Lady Katniss. We have a busy day tomorrow. We will be back bright and early.”
The next morning, not only are my maids early, but they bring breakfast with them.
“We aren’t eating in the dining hall this morning?”
“Not today.”
They take extra care in preparing me for the day. Not that they ever “slack” when they dress me. They braid my hair up in a crown around my head, like my mother did for me before I left. They even add the golden dandelion pin in it that Cinna had given to me. The day dress they put me in is dusky gold. They pair it with dainty gold earrings. I keep trying to take bites of my breakfast between each portion of the perp.
Right on time, there is knock on the door, and sure enough it is Peeta.
He’s got on a white suit, with a maroon tie. His cuffs have rubies.
“Are you ready for our date?”
“Right… the surprise…” I narrow my eyes at my maids, but they all look giddy and unashamed.
Peeta and I walk arm in arm down the hall. I don’t see any of the other girls.
“Where are we going?”
“You’ll see.”
He leads me down to the stairs, then down the hall. I hear some commotion going on in the dining hall, but that’s not where he takes me. We exit out the back doors, into the garden.
“Will you just tell me?” I scowl.
Peeta pauses near the bench where we first met. I turn and see that behind us, a camera crew has followed.
“What…”
“Katniss!”
I turn back, and running out from the garden, is Prim, her two blonde braids bouncing against her back. Behind her, emerges my father and mother. Before I can process it, Prim barrels into me, and I barely catch her.
Prim tips her head back and grins up at me.
“You said you were worried about them,” Peeta says, “I thought seeing them might bring you some comfort. All of the families were invited today. So, I could meet them.”
When Peeta had said he’d make it up to me, I never imagined this.
I tuck Prim into me, and my parents walk up to us.
Peeta reaches out a hand, offering it to my father.
For a surreal moment, I watch them shake hands. Then my father turns from him, as if completely forgetting him, and he pulls Prim and I into a hug. His shirt smells like home; like lavender scented soap, and herbal teas, and his old shaving cream. For a moment, they both hold me, and I forget about Peeta, and the cameras, and my fear.
I wish I did not have to lift my head from his chest, ever.