Chapter Text
When Eddie goes back into work a week later, having taken a couple days to stay home with Chris, he hears that Buck is gone. He sent in his resignation, effective immediately, to the chief's office. According to Chim, Maddie went over to his apartment and found the place cleared out, and he didn’t answer any of her calls or texts.
When everyone comes to him, demanding he try, they’re shocked at his refusal. “We all made mistakes. We hurt him, mostly Bobby and I, but none of us are innocent. Sure, the lawsuit was a rash decision, but we made him feel unloved. We all know how Buck deals with being left behind, and we all did that without blinking. We can swear up and down that we didn’t mean it, but we still did it. He’s doing what he needs to do for himself, and I’m not going to stop him. I have no idea where he is, or where he’s going, and I don’t need to. All I need from Buck is for him to be happy, and he isn’t happy here. He hasn't been in a long time.” He finishes his speech woodenly, still feeling like someone scraped his insides out with a rusty spoon, and then heads into the locker room to change into his uniform. He doesn’t really feel human, at least not like he’s connected to his human body. He feels floaty, and unmoored, and he doesn’t know how to fix it.
When he gets back up the loft, he sees the Chief in Bobby’s office, and the air is tense, the firefighters all acting like they’re not staring into the office to try and get a peek of what’s going on. It all becomes clear soon enough.
Buck’s lawsuit kickstarted an investigation into the 118, to see if his claims had any substance. From the little they found before Buck withdrew it, they decided to keep digging, and were unhappy with the results.
Bobby was suspended for two weeks, not only for his discriminatory treatment of Buck, but also for the way he allowed the firefighters and medics under his authority to return to work when they weren’t ready. He was forced into mandatory counseling, and they went through every return-to-work decision he made with a fine-tooth comb.
Hen and Chim were also forced into counseling, for things that happened on the job, and also to deal with Chim’s rebar accident, the stabbing from Doug, the trauma and fear from the truck bombing that they never talked to anyone about. They were to see a department therapist until they were okayed to be back on duty.
Bobby also had someone shadowing him for 3 months once he returned as captain, to make sure that all the regulations set by the LAFD were being followed. Bobby was a wonderful captain on scenes, but his emotions were still a mess, the guilt and fear for what happened to Buck bringing up memories of the death of his family and hundreds of others in Minnesota that he still hadn’t dealt with.
Eddie was put on the leave he didn’t take when Shannon died, and 2 weeks of it were unpaid. They heard gossip about his street fighting, but couldn’t verify it, and that was probably the only reason he kept his job. They mandated therapy and anger management classes, to be completed before he returned to work.
Eddie wondered if he’d be mad at Buck for kicking over this hornet’s nest and shaking things up, but he was honestly kind of glad. The 118 looked beautiful from the outside, but they were all hiding demons that they were too scared to face on their own. All of these things should have been done before this point, but nobody forced it. Eddie was a little worried about his finances, having a kid with special needs in a private school is no joke, but the department worked with him around his paid/ non-paid time off.
At the end of a few months, things were getting better. They weren’t all there yet, even with serious therapy, but it was better. Eddie felt better. He was able to enjoy his life again, to see his son’s laughter and revel in it, and not just fake a smile. He didn’t have to fake anything, and it was such a relief. When he was sad, he allowed himself to cry. When he was happy, he allowed himself to enjoy the emotion. When he missed Buck, he scrolled through the photos and videos of the man and asked the universe to let Eddie love him.
Therapy also helped with that. He loved Buck. The serious, ‘put a ring on it, love you for the rest of my life, never want anybody but you’ kind of love.
The guilt of figuring that out after he said all of the shit he did to Buck hurt, as did the realization that he never loved his wife that way - no matter how much he wanted to - was rough, but he and Frank worked through it together.
Eddie knew that Buck was still in touch with Carla, and that he spoke to Chris several times a week, but Eddie always made himself scarce when he heard those conversations. He wanted to run in there, to listen to that joyful, melodic voice, to wrap it around himself so tight that he could feel it, even when he was in his cold bed at night, but he never did. He had to respect Buck’s space, and Eddie was okay with that.
He was pretty sure the belief in fate and the universe was rubbing off on him, no matter how much he denied it. He sent out thoughts every day to be reunited with Buck, to get his family back together. Chris hadn’t mentioned seeing Buck in person yet, wherever that would be, but Eddie was hopeful. He still maintained a relationship with Chris, helping with homework and projects, making sure the boy knew that he hadn’t been abandoned. Chris was happy, so Eddie was good with it.
Now, it’s nine months after Buck left LA, and the team is in Arizona for a fire conference. They all came directly after a 24-hour shift, so they zip through check-ins and head directly to their rooms.
Except Eddie. He’s too wired, body buzzing like there’s a colony of bees under his skin, and he doesn’t know why. Whatever the reason is, he knows he won’t be able to sleep like this, so he drops his bags in his room and then sets about to wander around the hotel, checking out the rooms where all the meetings will be held, and the restaurants, anything to avoid going back to his room this wound up.
“Eddie?!” An achingly familiar voice calls, and Eddie freezes. If he turns around, and it’s not who he thinks it is, if he just imagined it, he’s going to cry.
The choice is taken out of his hands when Buck - smiling, glowing, beautiful Buck - walks around to stand in front of him. Those blue eyes twinkle when they meet Eddie’s, and Eddie suddenly feels a million pounds lighter, like just seeing Buck, smiling and happy to see him, is enough to shed weight he didn’t even realize he was carrying.
“Buck.” He breathes, and it sounds like a pray. It sounds like an oath and a full church on a Sunday morning.
Buck’s smile is brilliant, like he can hear the utter devotion in Eddie’s voice. “Hey, I was hoping you’d be here! Guess you can’t make fun of me for believing in fate and the universe now, can you?” He teases, scrunching his nose up, and Eddie can barely break out of his reverie to release a small, breathless chuckle.
“You’re here.” He states, unable to think of anything else. Nothing else matters right now, not when Buck is standing in front of him, looking healthy and whole, teasing him like he used to do.
“Yeah, sure am. San Diego FD is here, and I’m really glad you are, too.” Buck admits, his voice dropping to a near whisper at the last part.
Eddie can feel his eyebrows raise. “You’re still in Cali?”
Buck shrugs. “Yeah. Apparently, the chief of the LAFD and SDFD are on the same bowling league, and after I dropped the lawsuit and they investigated everything, Chief put in a good word for me. I’ve been there ever since.”
Eddie nods, too busy taking in Buck’s face to come up with any response. Buck seems amused by that, eyes twinkling, head titled to one side like the golden retriever Hen always compared him to, back in the day.
“So, did you ever figure out the answer to that question I asked you last time?” Buck asks casually, pulling his bottom lip into his mouth to chew on nervously.
This is it. Where Eddie has to lay it all out and hope that Buck catches him. “You mean, why I was so upset about my best friend suing the department?” He asks, and Buck nods.
“Yeah. Yeah, I had quite a bit of therapy to work that all out.” He says with a chuckle, unable to draw himself away from the bright blue pools of Buck’s eyes. “Turns out, I was in love with my best friend, and when I couldn’t call him, it played on some abandonment issues that I didn’t know I had.” He shares quietly, like the hotel might hear the words and snatch them away before Buck gets the chance to.
That half-smile brightens, and the tension around his eyes relaxes as Buck takes a step closer, putting him farther into Eddie’s space, just like before. He wants to whine as he feels that familiar heat on his skin again, but he clenches his lips together and fights it down. “Oh, really?” Buck asks playfully, and Eddie feels a grin tugging at his lips.
“Yeah, really. I’ve worked a lot on them, between those and my issues with my parents, with Shannon - who I apparently was never actually really in love with, since I’m super gay -” He trails off when Buck lets out a shocked peal of laughter, eyes wide in amusement and pride. When the laughter dies down, Eddie is the one to take a step this time, leaving only inches between them. He can see the ridges along Buck’s birthmark this close, can catch the varying shades of blue and flecks of gold in his eyes, can catch the scent of his cologne - that hasn’t changed after all these months - and he feels dizzy with it, with the system overload of Buck , after being deprived of it for so long.
He watches as Buck moves closer, brushing his nose against Eddie’s and says, “I have it on good authority that he loves you, too. So, what are you going to do about it?” There’s a challenge there, clear in his voice and in the single raised eyebrow, and Eddie is never one to back down when the gauntlet is thrown like that.
Within the next breath, he has his hands wrapped around Buck’s waist, and yanks him forward to press a searing, confident, slightly desperate kiss on his lips.
Buck doesn’t hesitate, responding with just as much relief and need, licking across Eddie’s lips to demand entry, and Eddie can’t deny him a single thing. He opens automatically, instantly addicted to the way Buck’s tongue feels in his mouth, the way his hands slide into Eddie’s hair so gently, even the feeling of Buck’s nose pressed against his cheek. It feels like heaven. It feels like absolution and sin all wrapped into one breathless exchange.
A wolf-whistle breaks them apart, and someone's shout to ‘get a room, Jesus. We’re literally in a hotel, it’s not that hard.” has them giggling breathlessly in each other’s space.
“You want to head up to mine? I’ve missed you so fucking much. I just want to hang out with you again.” Eddie asks, trying to curb the pleading in his tone, but it doesn’t seem to work.
Buck just smiles and leans in, pressing another drawn out, syrupy sweet kiss to his lips, and then grabs his hand. “Yeah, I’ve missed you too. Let’s go.”
They don’t have anything figured out right now, there are still logistics to consider on both of their ends, and discussions they still need to have, but as Eddie trails behind Buck, everything seems right with the world.