Chapter Text
He had promised that he would call her. He was busy, she knew, but that familiar sinking in her stomach wouldn’t let it slip her mind. She spent hours standing by the phone and when she decided to have a seat, the television would be off, so she could be sure that she wouldn’t miss the ringing of an incoming call. So she sat there, turgid and tense, waiting. Then the phone rang. She tried not to rush and make it seem like she was waiting right by the telephone. Her hand hovered for a second before she picked it up.
“Hello?”
“Hey, doll!” It was her boyfriend. It was Russell. Her Russell. A smile instantly spread across her face.
“Hi, honey. How are you?”
“Oh, you know, hanging in there, a little jetlagged…the shows have been great, though, I’m having a blast.”
“That’s great, Russ.”
“Yeah, Les. How about you? You staying busy? I hope you’re not up worried or anything.”
“Oh come on, Russ, I’m not so completely obsessed with you, you know.” She rolled her eyes despite him not being able to see her.
“Ha ha.” He said the words without a laugh, giving Leslie a taste of that perfect sarcasm she loved. There was a little bit of silence and she could hear some shuffling in the background. Someone getting out of bed.
Oh.
“Hey, Rus-”
“Uh, yeah, Leslie, I just wanted to call and hear your voice. I miss you, honey. Did you have anything good for breakfast?” Leslie knew he was trying to muffle the noise next to him.
“Oh. Yeah, I…just had some toast”
“You know what, Les, I’ll go ahead and let you go, I got to get something to eat with the guys and start heading to our next show so-”
“Yeah, that’s fine. See you soon.” She didn’t want to hear him anymore.
“See you soon, babe, love you.” She put the phone on the receiver and swallowed hard. Tears welled up in her eyes but not from sadness. It was anger. The kind that boils over until you do something rash. She picked up the phone again and called The Riot House again.
“Hi, I’m calling for one of your guests?” The front desk asked for a name and before she could tell herself this was a bad idea she blurted it out.
“Jeff Bebe.”
“Should I connect you to Mr. Bebe or leave a message?’
“Um, connect the line please.” She twirled the phone cord in anticipation. The phone rang. God, what was she doing? She was making a mess was what she was doing.
“Hello?” Jeff’s voice sounded confused.
“Hey, Jeff, it’s Leslie, can you talk real quick? I, um, I just had a question.”
“Oh. Do you need Russell, he’s in his room right now, you know?” She could sense he was annoyed at being called. He wouldn’t spill any information.
“No, Jeff, look, I just need to know if you’ve seen Russ with-” She heard him sigh and pull the phone from his ear, stifling a “goddammit.”
“Oh my god, Les, you know I don’t blab like that! It’s really none of my business.” He said it as if he could read her mind and already knew what she was going to ask. She guessed he could feel her anger through the phone, hanging in the silence like a dark omen. He began to overexplain. He did that when he was nervous.
“Groupies are a part of road life, you know? I’m not implying anything, but it’s not serious it’s just-”
She felt a tight lump in her throat.
“God will you just shut up, Jeffery! Fuck!”
She slammed the receiver down again. Very unproductive last few minutes, Leslie thought to herself despite her anger. She wiped her face off with her hands and went to grab her purse and car keys. She drove around aimlessly until she found a seedy, smokey bar on the side of a road somewhere. Sitting at the bar, she ordered a gin and tonic. And another. And another. “Can I get one more?” She asked the bartender, who smirked and nodded.
“Wait,” she added, “do you have a phone I can borrow?”
The bartender showed her to a phone mounted on a wall near the bathrooms, where, upon seeing it, her anxiety started rising. Every now and then, people walked through to get in or out of the restroom, their pushing past her only making her all the more anxious. But she needed to call. It was now or never. She dialed the number to Russell’s new hotel and asked for him. The line rang.
“Hello, this is Russell.” She held her breath for a second.
“Hey?” he asked, a little uneasy with the silence on her end.
“Russell?”
“Oh, Leslie! Hey, doll. You okay?” She swallowed, suddenly feeling the walls caving in.
“No, Russell, actually…I know. I know, okay?” Her voice was shaking.
“What are you talking about, Les?” his voice held a chuckle.
“Just please don’t lie to me. This…is torture. Russell, this is torture-” Her throat was getting tighter but she had more to say.
“Babe, what are you talking about? I don’t know what-” She let out a small whimper. He was so frustrating. Always acting oblivious.
“You’re sleeping with someone else! Russ, you’re cheating on me, I know.” There was a silence. It felt like hours.
“Um…okay, Les, are you talking about this morning? When I called you?” She didn’t say anything.
“Okay, well, god, this is kind of embarrassing, but…Dick crashed in my bed okay?”
Her brows furrowed. Was she supposed to believe this?
“We went out and got plastered and you know, came back to the hotel and passed out. Didn’t even remember much, we just sort of woke up and I remembered I said I would call you, so I did. That’s it. You heard him getting out”
“I don’t know Russell.”
He let out a sigh.
“I can get Dick on the phone, you just ask him and he’ll tell you the same thing.”
He sounded so apologetic, she could picture his doe eyes and the way his mustache drooped a little at the ends when he pleaded.
“No. No that’s okay. I’m sorry, Russ.” she cleared her throat and sniffled. For whatever horrible reason she really believed him.
“You’re still flying to New York for the party, right?” She answered with a small hum and hung up as he said goodbye.
Leslie walked back out to the bar and sat on a stool. She was so head over heels for him and he didn’t care. If he did, god, he didn’t act like it. And what a bullshit story. For now, she was choosing to believe it. It was less painful. There was so much she should have said but it all evaporated as soon as she heard his voice. What a strange effect he had on her. Still, if he were there with her, she would devour him whole. Let's forget about all this, she’d say. She felt pathetic. She felt starved. And she remembered, just then, that she was in a bar and there was bound to be some lonely guy around. With little effort, she took home a dark-haired guy for a lay in the dark and tried her hardest not to say the name she so desperately wanted to cry out.