Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

That day had been pretty shitty for Daniel Cain.

The kind where all he wanted to do was destress with a casual one night stand. He was reasonably grateful that it was just the normal kind of shitty instead of the "getting attacked by a zombie your mad scientist roommate reanimated" kind of shitty, but the fact that that differentiation even existed made him feel kind of worse. 

His life had really devolved.

It started when one of his patients, a middle aged woman with a vulgar mouth, had grabbed his ass early into his shift and called him "sugar" or something along those lines, he was so caught off guard he didn't quite recall. 

Instead of actually helping, his superior had just laughed at how uncomfortable the interaction made him. That was bad enough and had left him in a terrible mood but, on his break, he'd overheard a gaggle of his coworkers laughing about the incident. It was apparently very funny to all of them. One of them had even joked about Dan "turning queer" just because he didn't appreciate unwanted sexual advances. They would've reacted completely differently if the genders were reversed. For once, he almost felt like he understood Herbert's apparent disdain for women. 

No, that wasn't true. Herbert was an enigma in all aspects. He couldn't even come close to actually understanding his roommate's misogynistic tendencies even if he wanted to, which he didn’t particularly. At the very least, he knew that –unlike Herbert– he wasn't irritated with women as a whole but he was definitely not in the mood to be around any, let alone sleep with one. Luckily, he didn't exactly have to. 

His coworkers had been only half wrong about him "turning queer" after all. 

Dan's bisexuality wasn't something new, he'd known since highschool, and had nothing to do with the treatment of the opposite sex. He knew that from them, it was just some baseless jab at his masculinity more than any actual speculation. What reason would they even have to speculate? They didn't have one. None of them actually saw past the parts of him he pushed to the forefront, he’d been careful about that. He always was.

None of that really mattered as he pulled into the parking lot of Church , an ironically named gay bar he frequented, after a nearly hour long drive. The trek was usually worth it as going so far out of town eliminated any possibility of him being spotted and word getting around. It helped that he never usually ended up striking out so no time was wasted. 

Low risk, high reward. 

He flipped down the mirror and checked his face and hair. His exhaustion, mental and physical, wasn't hard to notice if you looked close but he looked alright enough. Not unkempt or sloppy, just tired. Satisfied enough, he stepped out of the vehicle. 

This place had become his favorite thanks to its relaxed and low key vibe where he never felt out of place in his usual jeans and sweater. It didn't give off club vibes, which he usually wasn't in the mood for. The environment made him feel less like some sex addicted man-whore, even though that descriptor might actually be more accurate than Dan would like.

Herbert certainly thought it was, but fuck what he had to say.

When he walked in the bartender flashed him a warm grin, only slightly obscured by his ginger beard. He was muscular and heavyset with thick hair covering his broad chest and shoulders; his uncanny resemblance to a stereotypical woodsman had earned him the affectionate nickname Woody, which also served as a double entendre. Every customer had grown to know him by that, including Dan. When he thought about it, he realized he didn't even know the man's real name. Then again he doubted most people here were sharing any personal information like that here, for pretty obvious reasons. 

Dan sure wasn't.

"Well if it isn't our number one casanova, Abel. How're things?"

"If I'm gonna be honest Woody, less than stellar." Dan let out a sigh as he plopped down, watching as Woody was already getting him a beer. 

"Your twink roommate givin' you grief again?" 

Ok so maybe he'd shared some personal info, but nothing identifiable about himself or Herbert, for that matter. So what if he occasionally he ended up ranting about his unrequited feelings for modern Victor fucking Frankenstein, sue him! 

"Swear to God 'bove, Abe, that man gets on my nerves every time you talk 'bout him."

"Try living with him." 

"I think I'd've ended up in jail." That made Dan laugh, but definitely not for the reason Woody thought it did. To him, that was just tongue-in-cheek hyperbole, but Dan knew it to be unfortunately accurate.

"I've sure as hell been close, I'll tell you that for free." That was no exaggeration. 

How many things had Dan and Herbert done that should've landed them behind bars? He couldn’t muster up the desire to try and count them so he just took a swig of his drink instead. Even just thinking about it was making his day feel all the worse.

Reaaaaally didn't need any more of that.

"Man treats ya like dogshit yet you keep runnin' back for more cuz you're so into the guy. Sure you aren't some kinda masochist?" 

"I'm sure, Wood. You know I'm too soft for that." It less masochism and more… Stockholm syndrome. "And trust me. I know it makes no sense, even I wonder why I stick around every damn day. Little bastard has me trapped hook, line, and sinker." 

"Mhm. Suuure does."

"But believe it or not, it's not about him, so unfortunately you aren't getting any new soap opera style gossip." His and Herbert's life was more like some gorey psychological horror than any soap opera, but those details were hardly something Dan was planning on sharing. "Just trouble at work, is all."

"Well that's a cryin’ shame."

"Thanks for the sympathy." He joked. "Ranting 'bout shitty clients,'' patients made it too obvious that he worked in the medical field, "isn't on the docket for tonight either."

Woody's mouth curled up into a playful smirk. 

"Ahh, so our Abel is out on the prowl then?" 

Dan had become a bit of a playboy, so this characterization was a running joke that’d spawned between the two and a few other regulars. It was almost entirely ironic. Dan was less like a wolf hunting for prey and more like a golden retriever eager for a playmate. His boyish smile, sweater, and sneakers hardly screamed sly sex fiend . 

"I might just be." Dan grinned a bit, playing into the bit. "You seen any fresh meat for me?" 

"I just might've noticed someone, but fresh meat ain’t quite right. Guy's more like a fellow hunter, if you catch my drift." He leaned back. "Comes here pretty often and leaves here with a partner every time. Might want to snatch him up before he turns into real competition." 

Dan couldn't say he wasn't intrigued.

"Well, color me interested. Let's see if I get to meet him tonight." 

As if on cue, the entrance swung open. Woody nudged Dan which indicated that this new arrival was said "competition" . 

Well, he was definitely attractive in a rough around the edges kind of way. His handsomely angular face and prominent stubble dusted chin had a smattering of scars. A mop of slightly curly dark hair sat on his head with a shock of silver. The blue button up he wore was messy and wrinkled, unbuttoned enough to let his clavicle peek out. He seemed to fit the wolf-ish type a lot more than Dan ever could. Something caught Dan’s attention at the end of one of his sleeves. It seemed to be some kind of metal glove which was a bit odd , but not even close to odd enough to even make Dan raise an eyebrow. 

That bar was high.

The man's eyes settled on him and he whistled. "Well aren't you a fine lookin' fella," he sauntered over and sat next to him with a cocky grin. "The name's Ash, but a guy like yourself can call me anything you damn well please." 

"I think I'll stick with Ash." 

"This is usually the part where you tell me your name, kid." Dan couldn't help but snort a bit at the nickname. The two couldn't be that far apart in age, Dan honestly assumed he was probably a tad older than Ash. 

"It's Abel." He lied, something he'd started doing more and more often. 

People labeled Dan an open book, which was probably true in many respects, but when it came to details about himself, he didn't offer much up. Lies and half truths were more comfortable. 

Much safer.

"Hope that means I'm Abel to buy you a drink then." 

Oh that was lame . 

This guy was lucky he was hot or a pickup line like that would get him shot down real fast. 

"Alright with me, but don't think your wallet is going to get you in my pants." At that, Ash fished out a crumpled up bill and slid it to Woody. After a moment, Dan was served a second beer.

Dan wasn't exactly rich but he wasn't hurting for cash either which made paying for things a less than an effective flirting tactic. He was a doctor and –even in Arkham– a doctor's salary wasn't anything to sneeze at. It also helped that his half of rent wasn't exactly high living in a slightly run-down repurposed mortuary. Most people didn't want to be neighbors with a cemetery. 

"Guess I lucked out with that 'cus the old girl ain't got much to offer." He rested his elbow and let his metal gloved hand fall onto the bar counter with a little "thwunk" in a not so subtle way to draw attention to it.

He really was lucky that he was hot.

"Is that my cue to ask?" Dan nodded toward hand. Up close it looked almost medieval, like it was plucked straight from a knight's armory. He had to admit, he was curious, so maybe it wasn't a half bad conversation starter after all.

"This old thing? She ain't pretty but not half bad building her one handed, if I do say so myself." 

He reached down and slipped off the glove, which actually wasn't a glove at all– seeing how most gloves tended to have a hand underneath. This seemed to be a prosthetic. He put it back on after just a moment. Though Dan had reason to be skeptical, he mostly believed that Ash had made it himself. He was far from an engineer but he recognized sauteing marks so knew it was modified. 

"Guess it shows one of the many ways I'm good with my hand. I could show ya a few other ways too, if you catch my drift." Ash punctuated that with a wink and Dan couldn't help but laugh. 

"Aren't you smooth." Maybe Dan was just more desperate than he thought or maybe Ash really was as charming as he seemed to think, but he was definitely smitten. 

"I can be rough too. Sweet, spicy, all that. Whatever you want, baby." Dan felt a warm hand rest on his thigh and give a slight squeeze. 

It felt good. 

It was much more pleasant, not to mention situationally appropriate, than the way he'd been touched earlier that day. He welcomed the other man's warmth. 

"Well, let's see what I'm in the mood for then." As he spoke, he set his own hand on top of Ash's. The beer Ash bought Dan sat half drank, all but forgotten, as Ash raised his eyebrows before flashing a flirtatious grin.

"Groovy." 

-

They ended up at a shitty motel which was more than fine for their purposes. Dan very quickly learned that Ash had not been kidding when he said he could be rough. The moment the motel's door had been shut behind them,He'd been slammed against the wall and kissed.

The way Ash kissed made him feel drunk, as if the spit they were swapping was spiked. No part of Dan's mouth was left untouched by his partner's skilful tongue. It wasn't like Dan was inexperienced, far from it, but the way Ash kissed overwhelmed all of his senses and made his mind go absolutely blank. Ash nipped at Dan's bottom lip before roughly trailing kisses down his chin to his neck. 

"Haaah-" A breathy gasp slipped from Dan as Ash relentlessly mouthed at his throat. He was a biter, happily sinking his teeth into the sensitive parts of Dan's throat, he could already tell that he'd need to wear a turtleneck for the next few days. But for the moment, he didn't need to be wearing much of anything. 

It seemed like Ash shared that sentiment, pulling back to yank off Dan's sweater. 

"C'mon baby, let me hear more of that sexy voice." Ash's fingers deftly began to undo his shirt's buttons. Dan felt a sudden pressure between his thighs, against his groin. "There we go, that's perfect babe. Loud 'n' proud." 

Ash had slotted his thigh between Dan's legs and ground against his straining erection. Another low moan escaped his lips as he reached to cup the other man’s face in his hands. The combination of friction and Ash’s praise was only making him grow harder.

"Which do y- ohhh fuuck- which position-?" Dan managed between breathy moans. 

In encounters like this Dan usually ended up defaulting to topping, which he didn't dislike by any stretch of the imagination, but he liked being held just as much. He didn't have much choice when sleeping with women and he seemed to attract a lot of bottoms for whatever reason. Maybe he just gave off the energy of a top.

In that moment, even though he had really wanted to bottom that night, he wasn't feeling particularly picky. This was going so well that he’d happily go either way.

"Depends," Hot breath against his ear sent a pleasant shiver up his spine, "Tell me which you need, babe."

"God- please fuck me." He grabbed onto the lapels of Ash's shirt to hold himself steady as he rutted against his thigh. 

Fuck. 

He hadn't realized how much he'd needed this. 

"Mnn- don't let me think. I'm so fucking tired of thinking." 

All he needed was to be fucked until he forgot about shitty patients, rude coworkers, long surgeries, failed inhumane experiments, a certain frustrating attractive mad scientist; all of it. 

A lobotomy might've gotten the job done quicker but this method seemed a bit more desirable. 

"Consider it done, hot stuff." Dan felt hands roughly grope his ass and lift him into a crushing embrace. The metal from the prosthetic dug against him in a slightly uncomfortable way which made him squirm. There wasn't much time for him to focus on it because he was quickly tossed onto the cheap bed of the motel, which let out a creak in protest. "Y'ready to get your world rocked?" 

"Just- take off the hand first." 

Ash raised his eyebrows even as he was already slipping the prosthetic off. "You got some weird amputee kink? Cus I won't say no. It's not like I've never thought about-" 

Dan burst out laughing, cutting his words short. How could a man manage to swap from suave and sexy to a total dork so quickly? 

It was honestly really cute.

"The metal." He managed between giggles. "It was uncomfortable though my pants, straight on the skin won't be much better."

"Oh. I thought-"

"That I was going to ask you to use your stump?" Dan finished, barely managing to hold back more laughter. "No Ash, I think I'm alright without the amputee fisting." His efforts failed, the idea was just so ridiculous. "At least take a guy to dinner first!"

"Hey! Stop that!"

"Wait- did you say you've thought about it before? Are you serio-" His words were interrupted by his own startled gasp when a hand was shoved down his pants.

The fingers wrapping around his shaft were calloused and worn yet, surprisingly, not dry.

Either his hand was naturally soft or Ash was a fan of moisturizer. It didn't really matter which was true, all that mattered was how the combination of different sensations made his toes curl.

"Your laugh sure is cute, babe, but I think I wanna hear more of those sexy moans instead." Ash ground the pad of his thumb against the underside of the head and that made Dan do exactly that. "Theeere we go. Fuck yeah, baby." 

In a move so bold and unbelievably smooth that it made Dan's head spin, Ash moved down and craned his head to clench the zipper of Dan's fly between his teeth. He undid it and tugged Dan's pants down just enough that he could comfortably pull his cock free. A tiny whimper escaped Dan's lips when the organ sprung to meet the cool air. 

“Lookie who’s rearin’ and ready to go alllll for me. Ain’t that nice of ya, babe.”

Ash seemed to be an endless well of praise which was one of the things that drove Dan absolutely wild, almost more than the touching itself. It was like some kind of drug. Feeling needed or –even better– wanted was something that filled Dan with fulfillment; that was no different in the bedroom. 

Well actually it was different, he'd never react like that to an eighty year old patient calling him a "sweet young man" . There was probably some deep psychological reasoning behind his day to day need for validation and how it got him going, but Dan hardly cared to know. 

All he needed to think about right then were the lips wrapping around Dan's cock, tongue swirling the tip.

One of Dan's hands shot downward and gripped Ash's hair, dark locks wove between his fingers.

He’d already learned the other man had a skillful tongue when it came to how he spoke and kissed, but this was on another level. No wonder the guy seemed so arrogantly sure in himself, he had the skill to back it up. He sucked cock like a pro. It took a load of self control to not start bucking upward into Ash's mouth or shove his head downward. Instead, he just tightened his grip on his hair. 

When Ash pulled back, lips flushed and sloppy with spit, Dan couldn't help but whimper something that vaguely sounded like “Please, more” . His mind was so fuzzy he couldn’t quite get the words right.

"C'mon, don't you get all whiny on me." Ash’s scolding wasn't convincing, he definitely seemed to be into how needy Dan was acting. "Instead, how 'bout you be a good boy ," Fuck . Ash had stumbled upon the pet name which was essentially Dan’s kryptonite, "and get those pants off." 

Dick twitching wildly, he scrambled out of his jeans, and his undone button up for good measure, to toss them into a pile on the floor. 

Ash hummed in approval as he surveyed Dan’s naked body. “Quite the meal laid out in front of me.” He really did have the eyes of a carnivore ready to sink its teeth into fresh prey, one that found the actual act of eating just as invigorating as the hunt itself. It was invigorating. Why he was turned on when people looked like they were about to tear him to pieces, he couldn't say. “Y’know what they say: bone appa-treat.” 

Ash dove back between Dan’s legs and got back to work too quickly for him to laugh or point out the mispronunciation. 

How could a guy be so smooth and so lame at the same time? He was a walking contradiction. 

And God, was he driving Dan wild.

Chapter Text

Ash sure had lucked out that night, this Abel guy was quite the catch. The sex had been amazing, the kind of sex that left both partners’ heads in the clouds and bodies tingling. 

After being wiped down Abel had started to drift off, which wasn’t exactly surprising. He'd noticed the dark circles beneath the other man’s eyes. They were prominent enough that he could tell Abe hadn't gotten a good night's rest in a while and he could absolutely relate, so he just let him doze. He looked at the clothes scattered around the room and figured, since he was up, he might as well tidy a bit. 

It wasn't like his clothes mattered much, they'd seen better days, but Abel’s were nice enough that he didn’t think it was right to leave them in a heap on the questionably stained carpet. When he picked up the blue jeans, something fell from one of the back pockets. 

Some kind of lanyard. 

Curiosity peaked, he picked it up and inspected it. It looked normal enough, it seemed like Abel was some kinda doctor. 

Sexy career choice. 

Fitting too; something about it suited him.

But there was something off.

Even though the Doctor in the picture matched up with the man he’d just slept with, the name was completely wrong. Not like a spelling he hadn't expected or anything like that, but entirely different. He turned the ID over in his hand.

“Daniel Cain.” Ash murmured to himself. 

The bed behind him suddenly squeaked and Ash wheeled around to face the noise. He felt like a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar until he saw the other man’s face. Abel- or Dan, actually, looked scared stiff as he sat there, warm eyes wide with panic and face drained of all color.

“What did you just say-?”

“Uh, Daniel Cain?”

“How did you-” His gaze darted to the lanyard in Ash’s hand. The poor guy looked absolutely horrified, “Oh. God damnit.” 

In that moment, Ash realized a couple of things. 

“Hey hey– don’t worry, I’m not gonna out ya to anyone. I know first hand that it’s not exactly a walk in the park to be open. Bet it’s even less ideal for you.” He slowly walked over, hands raised as if he was approaching a spooked animal.“Since I know your full name and where you work, only fair that I return the favor. Name’s Ashley Williams. Work at the S-Mart not too far from here. Housewares.” He held the lanyard out to Dan as he sat down on the bed beside him. “There, now you have the same dirt on me that I got on you.”

He hoped Dan wouldn't point out how different their situations were.

“I…” Dan carefully, but quickly, took the item from Ash’s outstretched hand. It wasn’t clear to Ash if his shoulders relaxed thanks to the sentiment or having the ID returned, but Dan looked considerably less on edge. “Shit, I don’t even know what to say.”

“Well I sure as hell do!” He clapped Dan on the shoulder and flashed a playful grin. “I gotta compliment the fake name! Cain and Abel are those guys from the Bible, yeah? That’s another level of clever.” 

Dan’s mouth curled slightly into a small smile, which Ash much preferred to his panic stricken frown. 

The guy had a hell of a smile.

"I saw the bar was named Church and it just came to me."

"Guessin' that means you went to real church as a tyke or something since you have the stories down pat." 

"No, actually." Ash was glad to hear Dan chuckle, especially after something as shitty as being unintentionally outed to a stranger. It made him feel like he was doing something right; a feeling he didn't get often. "I was raised Jewish, but I don't really buy much into the whole religion thing nowadays."

"Right there with ya."

Even though Ash had learned that without a doubt there was something out there beyond man, it hardly inspired faith in some all loving God. 

Either God didn't exist, was flat out evil, or he was a real lazy bastard. Bastard was content to just let Ash pick up the pieces as demons wreaked havoc on his creations. Interestingly enough– Dan seemed to somewhat echo his sentiment, minus the whole demon thing.

"Even if there's a God, he doesn't seem to give a damn about us humans." Thoughtlessly, Dan traced his long fingers against a particularly grizzly looking scar on his abdomen.

"That related to a reason why you aren't a fan of big guy upstairs?" Confusion spread across Dan's face for a moment before he seemed to realize what Ash was referring to. 

"Oh, I guess so."

"This." He held up his handless arm. "This is my reminder. Well, one of 'em." 

There was a hum of recognition. "I can imagine. Mind if I ask?" 

Ash was usually eager to tell –to spin up some fantastical story that showed off his heroism– but that was usually before getting people in bed. Right now he really just wanted to keep chatting with Dan normally. There was something about him that Ash couldn't quite place. 

So, the real story was out, he didn't need Dan thinking he was bat-shit crazy, and he didn't feel like actually lying right then. 

A vague answer would be fine.

"Grizzly cabin accident." Dan took the limb and inspected the scar. "Not grizzly like the bear, unless imagining me fighting a bear gets you going for a second round." Dan chuckled softly, shaking his head.

"By the looks of how it scarred, it never got treated properly, right?" 

"Ya caught me, Doc." He shrugged. "I guess I did a crummy job." 

"That's not what I said, Ash." He watched as Dan's fingers inspected the scarred flesh. "It's actually pretty impressive. An injury like that should've killed you, especially without real medical attention."

"Well guess that means I get your seal of approval!" That earned another laugh. "Well, how bout you? You gotta have a story or two." 

"Too many." His laughter had trailed off. Dan did have a lot of scars on his body, just like Ash, but they both seemed to know which he was asking about. "My roommate and I were volunteer medics in Peru. Things got real bad and, when we were retreating, I ended up with a machete in my guts. Had to lose about a foot of my colon."

"No shit? That's a clean ass scar for that kinda injury in a fuckin jungle warzone!"

"Yup. Luckily, my roommate happens to be a prodigy. An obnoxious little twerp of a prodigy." It was Ash's turn to snicker at the way Dan's face twisted in irritation just at the mere thought of this guy.

"Well damn! Tell me how you really feel!"

"I almost want to spend the night here just so I don't have to risk bumping into him." Dan ran a hand through his hair and let out a sigh.  

"Wouldn't mind the company, since I'm staying either way." Ash hadn't quite secured somewhere to crash so he usually settled in a motel like this or his car. He flopped back and crossed his arms behind his head. "The bed's made for two, after all." 

The brunette raised his eyebrows before scrunching them together, his mouth twisting into a frown. "Wait, you're sleeping here? Why?"

"Don't exactly have a permanent set up yet and got more leg room here than the Delta." It seemed to take Dan a moment to process what Ash was saying. After he seemingly did, Dan reached and grabbed his hand. 

"Stay with me, at least for tonight."

Well shit, he sure hadn't expected that. 

"Woah woah, slow your roll. Your roomie know about your night life?" 

"No, and he doesn't have to." Dan was already up and getting dressed. It was really a shame to watch Dan cover up that rocking bod of his but hey, the view of him bending to pick up clothes wasn't a half bad consolation. "For all he knows, I just brought a friend home to crash for the night."

"Y'know what? Why the hell not!" He found himself following suit.

-

Somehow, for the entirety of the nearly hour-long drive, Dan hadn't thought to give his companion a heads up about his place. His life had turned so strange and macabre that sometimes he forgot that the graveyard encircling his, admittedly run down, home was pretty sketchy. Ash certainly didn’t come off as exactly your average Joe, but he still seemed caught off guard by Dan’s less than lively neighbors. 

At least they'd be easier to explain than it would be if Ash learned about his undead basement tenants.

"So uh, we're here." Dan managed meekly as he parked, nervously chewing on his bottom lip. The silence from his passenger was deafening. He managed to make himself look toward Ash and saw that instead of horrified, he just looked intrigued. 

Relief flooded over him when met Dan's gaze and flashed a playful grin.

"Well doc, sure hope you aren't a serial killer plannin’ on doing me in." Ash was already undoing his seatbelt. "Mostly for your sake."

Dan couldn't help but return his grin. "Well, I'd have to be a pretty stupid serial killer to bring you to such a creepy place." He quipped back.

"You'd hafta be stupid to target me at all." 

"I'll take your word for it." The two got out of the car and headed through the gate.

"So, am I gonna get to meet your 'twerp of a prodigy' roommate of your's?" That made Dan snort laughing, he'd totally forgotten calling Herbert that. 

Not an inaccurate description, to be fair.

"Christ, who even knows. Hope not." Dan sighed, fishing his keys from his pocket. "But I should warn you, Herbert's a little cracked. Don't get too ruffled if he's… himself." 

"I'm sure I can handle the lil freakazoid." 

Just before he turned the lock, he paused. If Herbert was in the lab, Dan needed to make sure things didn't go completely ary while a guest was over. No violent corpses bashing the basement door down, no spiders made of fingers scuttling around the house, no dog with human legs, nothing of the sort. 

Christ . 

What had his life come to?

"Actually, would you mind waiting out here for a hot sec?"

"No prob, kid." 

Dan snorted at the nickname again, rolling his eyes, before slipping into the house. He made a beeline right for the basement door and knocked firmly. Usually he'd just come straight down but Dan was not in the mood to start an argument. 

After a minute, the door opened and Herbert peeked out. 

"What?" 

Well, the fact that his tone was just the regular amount of snippy was a good sign.

"I wanted to give you a heads up that we have a guest staying over tonight so can you please try and keep things quiet tonight?"

Herbert crossed his arms. " You have a guest, Daniel. I hardly think I can take any of the credit for the floozy you brought into our home." His eyes judgingly scanned the marks on Dan's throat. 

"Not a woman." The scientist raised his eyebrows but before he could say anything, Dan cut him off. "Just a friend I made. Needed a place to crash for the night."

"So we've become a homeless shelter. Wonderful ."

"Just- please try and keep things at least some sorta kosher. Just for tonight."

"Fine. I suppose it would be… less than convenient if your little friend caused us trouble."

"Cool. Great." Dan sighed, turning away. "And if you bump into him, play nice."

"Hm."

"Not a real answer, Herbert."

"Fine. I'll 'play nice' , as you put it." That was about the best Dan was going to get, so he just nodded and went to let Ash in. He didn't notice that Herbert didn't return to the basement.

"Hey, sorry 'bout that." He opened the door for Ash.

"No sweat, kid-"

"I hardly think “kid” is an accurate nickname."  Dan nearly jumped, startled by Herbert's sudden appearance beside him. The little bastard was being purposefully difficult, wasn't he? "I'm assuming you're the friend Daniel chose to bring into our home. Aren't you…" Internally Dan was cringing as Herbert looked Ash up and down. "Interesting."  

"Sure am. Interesting's my middle name. Ash ' interesting ' Williams." His playful tone alleviated a bit of the tension in Dan's shoulders. "Guessin' you're either Danny's housemate or a very well dressed burglar." 

The smaller man pursed his lips, bristling slightly. 

"Hm. Funny." There wasn't a touch of humor in Herbert's voice. "But I do hope that's rhetorical, I expect Daniel to keep company that aren't blatant idiots." 

"Whatever you say, Mr. burglar."

"That is not my name." Herbert was glaring daggers at Ash, his face twisted in a scowl and his cheeks dusted pink. "It's West. Herbert West."

"Is Herbert East out on business?"

As entertaining, and admittedly cathartic, as it was to see Herbert getting so frazzled Dan knew he had to step in. He really didn't need Ash ending up as the pair's next reanimation subject. 

"Ok ok- let's just settle down."

"I'm perfectly settled, Cain. " There he went, Herbert reverting back to surnames when he was upset. 

It was something so small, but it was always something that got to Dan. It was a level of detached professionalism that called all of their relationship into question. For better or worse, they were extremely close. 

He wondered if Herbert actually understood why Dan hated it or just knew he did.

"Perhaps it's Mr. Williams that needs to “settle down” ." The small man turned on his heels and practically stomped away down into the basement without another word.

"Well… guy's even more prickly than I imagined." Ash whistled with hands on his hips before glancing over at Dan. "Y' ok? You look like a kicked puppy." 

Was he that obvious? 

Who was he kidding, of course he was. 

Personal information was one thing, but Dan couldn't help but broadcast his feelings all over his face. 

"Let's just get you set up on the couch." 

-

Ash had apparently been more tired than he thought, because he'd completely konked out the moment he got settled on Dan's fold out couch. It wasn't exactly luxurious but, when you're used to crashing in a car after fighting demon possessed corpses between shifts at your customer service gig, you learn to appreciate the little things. 

Plus, it definitely didn't hurt that the blanket he'd been leant smelt of his gracious host. 

A pair of bickering voices were what finally roused him from his pleasantly restful slumber.

"... and you don't bring friends over!" He recognized the nasally voice of Herbert, Dan's roommate. It was hard to tell if the guy meant that as a fact, an accusation, or a demand. 

"Gee thanks, captain obvious." Seemed like it was the first option, based on Dan's response. "But maybe you'd prefer doctor obvious instead." 

"It'd be more accurate, yes." 

"That's not th- whatever, it doesn't matter!" Poor guy sounded exasperated. "Point is-"

" The point is ," Herbert cut him off, "that I've made it explicitly clear that I dislike sudden changes in my routine! I've grown accustomed to your semi-frequent liaisons, but you don't just bring friends over!"

"Well sudden changes happen!" Dan snapped before he let out a sigh, speaking again, his tone much softer than before. "Look- I'm sorry I caught you off guard, you know I try not to. I figured it wouldn't be much different than a girl staying." Ash was a bit baffled at how genuinely apologetic Dan seemed, though it was definitely interesting to hear the two's dynamic. "But this was a special case."

"The airheaded women you bring home are hardly that rude."

"Herb, you don't make a habit of greeting them. You didn't have to do it this time either."

"Unlike the former situation, I don't know how this typically works! It seems customary to greet a guest in your house, even if they aren't your guest!" 

It was weird to hear that an adult man, especially one that had been described to him as "a prodigy" , was so socially unaware.

"I guess that's true. Well, if there's a next time, remember that it's fine if you don't wanna say hi." He heard Dan begin to rustle through, what he assumed was, the kitchen cabinet. His suspicions were confirmed when Dan piped up, "I'm gonna make breakfast. How long has it been?" Ash sleepily pondered what Dan could be asking about.

"Not long."

"C'mon Herb, don't be difficult." How could Dan sound so much like a doting housewife? It was ridiculously cute. This moment just oozed domesticity, like he was eavesdropping on some old married couple. "Give me an actual answer. A number."

"I hardly think th-"

" Herbert ."

"... three days." That definitely wasn't an answer Dan was pleased with if his exasperated huff was any indication. Like he wasn't expecting something better but it still frustrated him.

"That's it. You're eating breakfast, like it or not." 

"But-" 

"You can eat in the lab, Herb." Dan interrupted in that placating gentle tone. "I'll even bring it to you." 

"... I suppose that's… acceptable."  Wait… lab? "Remember not t-"

"Overcook the bacon or let it touch the pancakes." Dan finished and Herbert let out what sounded like a begrudging "thank you" . 

The interaction was so sickeningly sweet that he felt his stomach twist with some strange feeling. 

Jealousy? 

It must've been that, but he couldn't quite place why. He'd just met Dan, what was he even jealous about? 

Ash listened to the small man shuffling away until he heard a door close before getting up. 

It was definitely quite the pleasant sight to see Dan from behind, his upper half completely exposed with purple and red marks decorating his bronzed muscle, courtesy of the one and only Ash Williams. The pajama pants he wore were just a touch too small and hugged him in all of the right places, leaving little to the imagination. The way he just barely swayed his hips as he cooked was hypnotizing. 

Before he even realized it, Ash was wrapping his arms around Dan's waist from behind. It'd momentarily startled Dan, but he relaxed after a moment. 

"Mornin sunshine." Ash hummed, his voice still a touch lower and scratchy from sleep, as he nestled his face in the crook of Dan's neck. He planted a few soft kisses on his skin, pleased to feel Dan shiver slightly and just about thrilled when Dan didn't push his face away. 

When he peered up he noticed Dan was wearing wire frames, reading glasses maybe? Prescription? It wasn't really important, they looked really good perched on his sculpted nose. 

"Morning." He glanced back, still prodding at the scrambled eggs he was making. "Sleep ok? I hope the couch wasn't too uncomfortable."

"Nah, couch was perfectly fine." He trailed a few kisses up to Dan's jawline. He drank in the sight of red dusting his skin. "And what kinda guy doesn't catch some great Z's after such a satisfying meal ." He nibbled at Dan's earlobe which made the slightly taller man gasp. "Could go for a second course ." 

A hand reached and gently pushed Ash's face away.

"Ash- no. Not now and especially not here." Dan's voice was hardly firm, like he was only protesting because it's what he was supposed to do.

In response, Ash ground against Dan's ass as if to wordlessly challenge his refusal. 

A gamble, but one he was confident in making.

It paid off with Dan immediately giving in, pressing back against the movement and groaning just a bit. The slightly tensed muscle beneath him felt just as heavenly as it did last night, even clothed. 

"But what if he-"

The question was cut short when Ash slipped his thumb between Dan's lips against his tongue. 

"Shh, don't you worry your pretty little head. Just be a good boy and just focus on keepin' nice and quiet." Once he discovered that being called that was one of Dan's weaknesses, Ash was beyond eager to use it to drive his partner wild. "I'll even help you out. Do the honors of keeping that pretty mouth busy." 

Right now, Dan was his . 

Putty in Ash's hands.

Whatever chemistry he had with his roommate didn't matter, at least not right then. 

He had already been drawn in like a moth to a flame. As Dan sank to his knees, Ash couldn't help but wonder for a moment if that meant he'd end up getting burnt. 

Then again, what was new?

Chapter Text

Herbert always tended to enjoy a bit of good problem solving, something to test his wit and capabilities, yet he found himself absolutely unamused at his current predicament. 

He was dealing with a problem by the name of Ash Williams, and it was just about on his last nerve. 

The problem's first visit had been utterly unexpected and unwelcome. Ash was rude and scraggly and loud, but none of that was what really made Herbert angry. 

Irritated, yes, but not angry . 

What'd done that was Dan –who'd been so considerate after finding out about Herbert being autistic and having strict boundaries– doing something so thoughtless as to bring a strange man over. As usual, Dan was still able to talk him down and all seemed to be alright. That was why Herbert couldn't understand why Dan behaved strangely for the next few days. 

He was uncharacteristically non combative and much less naggy. Herbert might've appreciated it if the doctor hadn't seemed nervous, guilty, like he’d done something wrong; like he expected Herbert to go ballistic at any second. Walking on eggshells for no discernable reason. 

On top of that, there'd also been a noticeable physical distance between the two which was odd for such a touchy feely pair. Where they'd usually grab onto each other or share extremely close proximity, Dan seemed to jump at even a brush of contact. 

It wasn't enough for most people to justify drawing attention to it, but Herbert could hardly be lumped in with "most people" . It put him enough on edge that he planned to bring it up. Nip it in the butt, Dan would say.

Before he could even get an opportunity to broach the subject, Dan told him Ash was coming over again.

While he certainly appreciated the warning ahead of time, he still wasn't pleased with the fact it was happening at all. Something about how enthusiastic he seemed at the prospect made Herbert cringe. 

The night went quietly enough, Dan went out and returned later with Ash by his side. Herbert stayed in the basement that time, passively listening from where he worked as the two started to watch a movie. A horror movie, Herbert guessed, based on the few noises he caught from the pair. It was strange how often Dan gasped or made other, seemingly, startled noises. He'd seen enough that it seemed ridiculous for him to be affected by any horror film. 

It wasn't too distracting, though he'd often find himself subconsciously straining to hear more. The noises were strangely… he didn't know. Other than that, the night passed smoothly enough.

Then it happened again.

And again .

Ash visiting, watching a movie, and staying the night had become a regular occurrence in their home and Herbert was hardly a fan. He was entirely not used to Dan having friends other than him; his work colleagues didn't count.

On one hand, he appreciated the fact that Dan was bringing less women home –none at all, actually. He no longer had to fight to ignore the strange emotions or unwelcomed physical reactions dredged up from hearing Dan "making love" . 

It was definitely a net positive, or it should've been.

But on the other hand Dan was still distracted by his new buddy . If anything, he almost seemed to be even less focused than when he was chasing bimbos. 

Dan was supposed to be paying attention to hi- to… to The Work! 

Yes. 

The Work.

It wasn't that Herbert was jealous about Dan paying more attention to Ash than him , he was above something like that. No, it was the fact that he was neglecting their Work. 

That was all. 

Ash was a distraction through and through, and Herbert needed Dan to realize that. He'd tried to bring it up, but Dan got strangely cagey talking about the man. He was defensive at the best of times but Ash seemed to make him doubly so. He'd give half answers or change the subject in a way that usually got them into a completely unrelated argument. 

Interpersonal relationships were frustrating.

-

The term “fuck buddies” or “friends with benefits” usually put little to no actual emphasis on actual companionship other than fucking, but that wasn't the case with Ash and Dan. 

Despite the sexual nature of their relationship, the pair began to form a very close friendship. 

Real, genuine friends like Ash hadn't had in God knows how long. 

It was going amazing and –against all odds– no deadites had come to rain on his parade. For whatever reason, those undead creeps were nowhere to be found. About time Ash got a break.

Dan felt comfortable coming to Ash about his worries and vice versa, though it was clear that Dan wasn't telling him –or anyone for that matter– the whole truth. He kept something close to his chest, never letting anyone get a peek. Ash couldn't exactly complain without ending up as a gigantically major hypocrite. He wasn't exactly jumping at the bit to candidly talk about his struggles as the Chosen One , so who was he to judge? 

From what he did share and from the perks into his buddy’s life he got, Ash learned that most of Dan's troubles twisted back around to a single source.

Herbert West. 

Ash would have to be stupid –or at least, stupider than he actually was– to not pick up on the doctor's feelings. Dan loved the guy, full stop. The glint in Dan's eye whenever he spoke about his roommate never faltered, even when he was absolutely furious with the little creep. That was love.

He spoke so often about him that it made Ash want to rip his own head off.

Dan's entire life rotated around one selfish little twerp who didn't seem to pay any consideration to him whatsoever. Someone who used him, dragged him along to do whatever suited him in the moment –like a fucking warzone – with not even as much as a “please” . He demanded and manipulated and guilted and every other nasty little trick in ‘How to be a Total Shit-Bag for Dummies’ . There was no question that Dan deserved better; much fucking better. Ash wanted so desperately to just steal Dan away and make the man truly his. To play knight in shining armor and save the damsel in distress.

Of course he knew he couldn't give Dan what he really deserved –Ash wasn't exactly built for real relationships– but he could at least do better than that pint-sized freak! It was a low bar, but still!

At least he wanted Dan. 

Fuck, how he wanted him… 

As he'd gotten closer and closer to Dan, it felt downright inevitable that he'd fall in love. Guy was a total dreamboat. Not only that, but they got each other in a way that felt… special. Even if they kept it to themselves, they both knew they shared similar pains. Lost loved ones, regrets and guilt and shame. Dan still had some of that light left in him, that genuine –almost naive– want to do good for the world. 

Ash loved that about him.

He wanted to protect that flickering light, to keep it from being snuffed out. 

One night, Ash decided that enough was enough. He wasn't some prince charming or perfect man who could erase all Dan’s hurt, but he did love him. 

He wanted him. 

They laid together on Dan's couch after a particularly satisfying night of intimacy. Dan's body was so warm pressed up against his own, hair so soft between Ash's fingers. His eyes sat half lidded, basking in the afterglow. The blue tinged light of the TV shone on his face, illuminating its curves and angles and making the sweat on him seem to glitter. 

Fuck, he was really such a beautiful man.

"Y'know, you deserve better." Espresso colored eyes, hazy from sleepiness, turned to meet his own. Ash took Dan's quiet confusion as a cue to continue. "He's not worth half the energy you put in, all the hurt he's made y'feel."

"Oh." Instead of reacting defensively like Ash had anticipated and prepared for, Dan simply laid his head down and nuzzled against Ash again. "You're probably right. No… you're definitely right."

"You know he doesn't care about you."

"Yeah, 'course I know." His voice was so soft, so filled with defeated acceptance. It made Ash’s chest ache. "He's just like a kid that doesn't want to share his toy, and the toy happens to be me."

"I don't see you that way. I value you, Danny. I can give you everything he can't and more."

"Ash, don't…" 

"I'm serious! I know you don't feel like I do-"

"I do!" That made Ash slam mouth shut and study Dan. He hadn't expected that reaction or the pleading look on his face, but now that he'd gotten both, he was paying attention. "I want you, Ash. More than just a friend and more than just this fuck-buddy situation we have going on here."

"Then why can't we be that?"

"Because I can't give you back what you deserve. No matter how I feel about you, I can't let go of him. I can't get rid of that part of me. I just can't…"

Ash knew that. Of course he'd known that. It was obvious when watching how he talked about the other man; he'd been prepared for that. 

"I can handle playing second fiddle." He took Dan's face in his hands, turning it to look him in the eyes. "Please. I'm not askin' you to forget him or move on, just… be mine. Even if it's just sometimes, be mine."

"…" Dan averted his gaze.

"I won't ask for more than that." He moved and began kissing Dan's jaw and throat. "Be selfish for once. Be selfish with me, Danny." 

The moment he felt Dan's arms wrap around his neck, Ash knew he had him. 

That was enough.

Daniel Cain was his.

-

Dan was working with Herbert in the lab, something that had become a rare phenomena as of late. 

That should've meant that Herbert and The Work had his full attention, but Dan was just as distracted as he usually was nowadays. Every single day, Dan's attention was miles away from what was right in front of him. Herbert has tolerated it for this long but that night was the last straw. 

Not paying full attention, Dan managed to knock over a beaker of freshly brewed reagent which sent it shattering the neon chemicals on the concrete floor. 

Hours of work and precious supplies wasted! 

Dan looked up, eyebrows scrunched together. "Shit. Sorry Herbert-"

"I'm tired of sorries, Daniel!" 

Enough was enough. 

Herbert stormed up to the taller man ready to let loose.

"Herbert-" 

"You've barely been in the lab and when you are, you just make mistake after mistake ! You're even more distracted than when you were seeing that Italian bimbo!" Dan tensed, glaring at Herbert as if he was the one who deserved to be angry. 

"Her name was Francesca and I've told you not to talk about her like that." He hissed, "After all the bullshit we dragged her into-"

"Oh, so our Work is "bullshit" now, is it?"

"You know that's not what I meant!" Dan threw his hands up in an exasperated gesture like Herbert was the one being unreasonable; it made the scientist see red.

"Oh, do I? Is that why you've been so inattentive? So absent? So careless? Is that supposed to reassure me that you truly care about our Work ?"

"Christ, Herbert! What the fuck do you want from me?!"

"I want you to stop wasting time with Ash Williams!" 

There it was, out in the air. No vagueness, no room for Dan to worm around the topic. Herbert finally just laid it out in plain English. 

There was a sudden, and utterly, suffocating silence as Dan went completely rigid. His eyes narrowed in this visceral fury.

"You have no right to demand that of me." This level of vitriol was rare with Dan. He'd get angry, of course, but not like this. Not this low hissing tone. "After all I've given up, you have no right. " 

Herbert stood his ground.

"Of course, we're back to this! Daniel Cain, ever the martyr." He droned sarcastically and rolled his eyes. "I somehow forgot how I so selfishly snatched away your perfect little future. Thank God you're here to remind me." 

"Stop pretending I didn't give up a whole lot of shit! Especially to be here with you!" 

"What, your perfect little future wifey and perfect little brats in some prefect little suburbia? Perfectly normal! I completely ruined that dream of your's!"  

"IT WASN'T MY FUCKING DREAM. " The scientist flinched backward, startled by both the sudden volume and what Dan was saying. "IT WAS NEVER WHAT I ACTUALLY WANTED! I-" He watched Dan stumble back as if he had caught himself off guard as well. 

"That's how my life was supposed to go, whether it was what I really wanted or not!" 

Herbert couldn't process what he was hearing, it made no sense. He'd come to know Dan so well, yet here he was discovering he wasn't exactly on the mark. 

"I never wanted to get married but that's just what you do! When you're a man who loves a woman –and I really loved Meg– you get married and have kids and grow old together. Just you two."

"I-"

"I'd already planned to throw away everything that didn't fit with that future. Whole chunks of myself. I'd come to accept it, convince myself that maybe I could be happy with normal. But then you came along!" 

"So it's still my fault?" 

"Oh it's a hundred percent your fault." Dan continued before Herbert could even retort. "And you don't even know why, do you? The ever so brilliant and observant doctor Herbert West has no clue! He never saw what was right in front of him, just like the rest of the world!" 

"What is that supposed to mea-" 

Herbert was cut off by Dan grabbing his tie and pulling him into a crushing kiss.

He took advantage of Herbert's gasp to slip his tongue past his lips, lapping ravenously inside Herbert's open mouth. Immediately, his mind went fuzzy, barely able to form any real cohesive thoughts. 

All he could think about was how hot Dan's mouth was and how his tongue twisted around his own. 

Dan yanked his head backward after a moment, looking almost more shocked than he felt. All his anger had completely evaporated. He recognized the expression Dan wore now.

Fear.

"Shit- I'm s-" this time, it was Herbert's turn to cut Dan off. 

He needed Dan's lips on his own again, an unacknowledged hunger for the other man finally reaching a boiling point, and he needed Dan to not apologize. 

Apologies meant regret.

The already nearly forgotten argument became completely discarded the moment Dan reciprocated. It was nothing like the handful of other encounters Herbert had experienced. It was just as messy and uncoordinated, but Herbert actually felt good. 

This wasn't experimentation to try and deal with some baser instinct, it was passionate.

It was Dan . 

Dan only pulled his lips away from Herbert's to instead tongue at his throat. "Danny-" A breathy whimper escaped him. It should've been mortifying.

"Herbert." The way Dan groaned his name felt like it sent all of his blood pooling between his thighs. "You're the most infuriating man I've ever met."

Herbert could only moan in reply as Dan sucked at his paper pale skin, hands exploring Herbert's slight frame.

Everything was right. Unfamiliar and dizzying, yet simultaneously exactly how it should be.

Daniel Cain was his.

Chapter Text

Dan had made a lot of mistakes throughout his life and, right then, he was left to deal with the aftermath of a pair of particularly troubling ones. 

The first was saying yes to Ash's proposition for some sort of relationship. 

The second was having sex with Herbert mere days later. 

He felt like absolute garbage, he'd never cheated on a partner before. 

Fuck. Was this even cheating? 

If it was, who was Dan even cheating on? Ash had acknowledged Dan's feelings for Herbert and Herbert and him weren't in a relationship so technically speaking, there was no cheating involved. Still, no technicality made Dan feel any less like a scumbag. 

He had to end whatever this was, but how the hell could he pick? 

God, what was he? The swooning protagonist from some melodramatic romance novel? 

His feelings for both of them felt so real, not like some perverted sexual desire, but then again that couldn't be the case. You couldn't truly love two people at the same time, it was impossible. 

It should've been impossible, yet here he was.

Actually, Dan had felt this way before. Quite a lot. His love was never fully centered on a single person, he often found his heart drifting in the same manner as his eyes did between the sexes. 

That part of him was ugly, Dan had decided.

Maybe something had been broken by the first person to lay their hands on him. It almost made sense, the encounter had changed him in so many other ways, but it didn’t explain how most of those feelings were present even before. He couldn’t blame any of his inclinations on that. 

He’d just been born broken. 

Wrong. 

On occasion, he'd shed his inhibitions enough to satisfy these "vices". Or to try to, at least. 

Casual sex with men and the occasional threesome never actually left him feeling satisfied, not really. The soulless skin upon skin just left him feeling even more empty and just as ashamed. 

He knew deep down that these feelings weren't some perverse fetish, the emotions he felt were just as real as what he felt when in love with a single woman, but he couldn't accept it. Even being with Meg, the woman who was supposed to be the love of his life, he'd still felt the exact same. 

Dan had remained faithful to her, of course.

Sometimes he'd indulge himself in the fantasy of talking to Meg about it; about his inclination towards men as well. In the fantasy, she'd hold him close and tell him she accepted him. That, no matter what, she still loved him. She'd encourage him to be free to explore himself while staying by his side. Dan could finally let someone actually see him. 

All of him.

The cruel nature of reality would always come crashing down hard. 

No matter how much she loved him, Meg would never have accepted him. 

He didn't resent her for that, no one would accept those parts of Dan, not even himself. He'd keep them hidden and continue down the path set for him until he arrived at his deathbed, still a stranger to all of his loved ones. They'd unknowingly bury him with those ugly secrets. 

When he'd lost Meg, he felt himself spiral. 

Her presence in his life alone made him feel able to play his role he was meant to play. An anchor keeping him firmly latched to normalcy. 

The idea of normal was almost nice with her, comfortable. Before it all went wrong, Dan had already been quickly falling for the odd little scientist, but Meg had kept him grounded. She'd kept him sane. 

Herbert was a perfect representation of everything Dan shouldn't want.

He was a man, first and foremost, who'd come between him and his very normal fiance. Herbert entering his life had been what had gotten Meg killed. 

Dan should've hated him –and God dammit, he sure did try– yet he just ended up falling harder. Meg was gone and Dan was left to mourn both her and the man he could've been. He only had Herbert left now. His world was unraveling around him and he couldn’t even hate the person behind most of it.

So, like the coward he was, Dan ran away.

Not literally, Dan was much too far-gone for that, but from his own feelings into the arms of strangers like he had once before. 

Women, men, it didn’t matter to Dan as long as he could shed his skin and turn off his mind for a moment. Sex was so simple. In the moment their bodies connected and his flesh pressed flush against theirs, they knew Dan more than any other human being ever had. 

There was no shame, no mourning, no secrets, no right or wrong. Not even the mundane weight of his day to day remained. There was nothing other than primitive need and ecstacy. 

But it didn't last, of course. 

When the afterglow faded all reality returned and Dan felt more alone than ever. Everything that’d been so wordlessly candid was once again bottled up.

Sealed away and buried.

His night with Ash was supposed to be the exact same, yet things had gone differently. 

Ash still saw Dan after their bodies separated –not in his entirety, but enough that it shook him– and he saw Ash back. They weren't that different. Dan craved more from Ash and Ash was more than happy to provide so, against his better judgment, he allowed himself to be pulled in. 

The two saw each other more and more, growing closer and closer. 

They’d share each other’s worries and lick each other’s wounds, both figuratively and literally. Both knew the other had secrets, but neither pushed. There was this sense of mutual understanding that it wasn't welcome. Dan never asked Ash why he got so frequently injured and Ash never asked why Dan’s car stunk like the dead. Being together and taking what the other would give was enough, and Dan let himself fall in love.

It’d been a mistake.

He'd made a far worse mistake by saying yes when Ash asked for more, but Dan was in over his head. 

Ash had seen him, all of him, like no one else. He knew Dan loved both him and Herbert, and he’d accepted it . 

Ash had learned who Dan was and chosen to stay anyway. 

For a moment, it almost seemed like he’d made a good decision, like Ash could play a role something like Meg had. Ash could keep him grounded to semi-normalcy. He could hold Dan steady and halt, or at least slow, the constant crumbling of the world around him. 

Maybe he could even help him relearn a life without Herbert as the focal point.

Then Dan had fucked it all up in a single night.

It was as if he temporarily lost his mind when he decided to finally kiss Herbert. Well, "decided" was a strong word for his knee-jerk reaction.

He was so sure he’d ruined everything, that he’d finally destroyed the fragile mirage of a friendship the two had formed. In a way, he supposed he had. When Herbert pulled him into another kiss, it was over. 

It’d all moved so fast that he could barely remember how they’d gotten to Dan’s bed. Everything about the night before was a blur of skin and sweat and musk and pleasure. Having Herbert beneath him, crying out his name as Dan fucked him hard into the mattress, had been perfect. The taste of his seed and saliva and sweat had been perfect . A blur of pure ecstasy in every sense of the word.

Yet, when Dan woke up with a naked body nestled beside him, his world ended.

And like a coward, Dan ran away once again. From both of them. Always running, always hiding.

He stopped calling Ash and did his best to avoid Herbert around the hospital and house. He took longer shifts more frequently, even going in on his day off. It was immature, maybe even cruel, but Dan didn’t know what else to do. 

How could he face, let alone explain, everything to either of them?

Chapter Text

It had already been painfully obvious Dan was avoiding Herbert, but if he'd thought it'd been bad before, this was another level entirely. 

When being together was unavoidable, Dan did everything he could to leave quickly as possible without even looking Herbert in his eyes. Herbert couldn't wrap his mind around what the hell this was, about what was going on and it was maddening. The initial distance between the two when Ash came into his life, Dan's seemingly unprompted sexual advance which had left the distance even wider, and now he wasn't even inviting Ash over anymore despite seeming so upset by the idea of ditching him for The Work.

None of it made any sense.

Dan had taken another twelve hour shift, which left Herbert to his own devices. The house seemed so empty when Dan wasn't home. In the past, Herbert probably would've enjoyed the peace, but he sure as hell didn't now. Especially not when he couldn't help but endlessly replay the afternoon that Dan and him had had sex and consider the implications.

The past sexual partners he'd had –only amounting to three, five if kissing was counted– didn't hold a candle to Dan. He was passionately rough yet careful to not hurt Herbert. Little things that he only recalled later, like how Dan cupped the back of his head to avoid letting it slam against the bed's headboard and how he so thoroughly prepped him for penetration. It had ended with Herbert a barely conscious, twitching, drooling mess. 

When he woke up, he'd found himself alone. Cleaned and tucked in, the only evidence of their entanglement being the quiet ache of Herbert's lower back. Laying there he'd finally been forced to confront his feelings towards his partner. It wasn't just physical attraction nor was it just friendship, Herbert felt something more. 

It'd all seemed so simple when he gave Dan his body. Suddenly, all of the strange feelings and tension Herbert had been grappling with made sense. 

He had wanted Dan. Needed him.

His body, his mind, his touch, his heart; everything.

There'd been no opportunity to discuss any of that day with Dan, he'd barely even seen him for that entire week. Apparently, it hadn't just been Herbert getting that treatment. 

Banging on the front door startled Herbert as he tentatively picked at week old leftovers.

The noise stopped long enough for the culprit to speak up, "Danny?" He recognized that voice, though it sounded much more frantic than he had heard before. "It's Ash! Look, can ya let me in? I'm- I'm worried!" 

So, Ash was getting the cold shoulder as well, like he'd suspected. It served him right. 

He was most definitely the cause of all this.

Somehow.

"It's been a week and you haven't answered my calls I-" Good. "Baby, I don't know what I did wrong but just let me know you're ok! Then I'll go, I won't bother you again!"

Now, that was definitely good news. 

He'd be out of their hair and everything could go back to norm- wait, did he say "baby" ? Did he just call Dan "baby" ? 

Herbert was at the door in seconds and swung it open violently. 

"What do you want, Mr. Williams?" If only looks could kill, Ash would be dead where he stood. 

"Shit-" The taller man stumbled backward, eyes wide. That's when Herbert noticed the sawed off shotgun in his hand, "Sorry I just- is Dan home?"

"I don't think that's your business , Mr. Williams." Herbert hissed, his aggression not at all dissuaded by the fact that he was face to face with a seemingly unstable man holding a gun. "You'll be leaving now."

"Wait, please! I just want to see him!" 

Herbert was beginning to get the picture. 

So. Ash was some perverted stalker with some fantasy about Dan. When Dan had begun to ignore him, after being convinced by the night Herbert and him had spent together, Ash'd come to exact revenge or force Dan to submit. Herbert wouldn't let that happen, even if he had to become a casualty. 

"Or what? Will you shoot me?" Ash's eyes darted down to the firearm then back to Herbert, "I don't think that's wise, your "baby" wouldn't be very pleased with you."

Ash let the gun fall and relief washed over his face, which momentarily confused Herbert. 

"So he's ok? Safe?"

"Yes." Herbert was formulating a plan. "But he's not home at the moment. He'll be back soon, so if you'd like to come inside and wait, you can."

In actuality, Dan wouldn't return until the morning, which gave Herbert the opportunity to cleanly take care of this without him finding out. He'd make sure that this maniac with a shotgun wouldn't ever hurt Dan. It'd be easy to kill him while he was waiting for his "would be" victim to return. Of course, he'd have to dispose of the body immediately despite how much of a shame it was to waste such a fresh subject. 

Dan couldn't know, after all.

Actually, he could probably take a few organs…

"Yeah, ok. I just-" Ash cleared his throat and awkwardly stepped inside, hesitantly slinging the gun over his shoulder, "You're sure he's all good? Nothing weird going on? Nothing at all?"

"I'm positive."

"Ok- good." His eyes were still peeled wide open, alert and darting around the house. "Good." He repeated before taking a shaky breath. 

"You seem stressed. Would you like a glass of water?"

Ash looked down to him. "Uhm, sure." He followed as Herbert led him to the kitchen, "Hey, uh, Thanks. I know we aren't exactly buds."

"You're Danny's friend ." He motioned to the table. "I wouldn't want to make you feel uncomfortable. Take a seat and I'll bring you some water." Ash did so, seated facing away from Herbert. 

Perfect. 

This would be easy.

He reached for the knife block and pulled one blade free before stalking close. In one swift movement, he'd easily slit Ash's throat. 

Just one more step and a flick of his wrist-

"I just got one problem." Herbert froze in his tracks as Ash spoke, knife poised to strike. "Dan's roommate isn't this polite."  

He didn't have time to react before Ash reeled around and smashed his fist into Herbert's jaw. 

The impact sent him flat on his ass and the knife clattered to the floor. When he stretched to try and reach it, the heel of Ash's shoe slammed onto his wrist. The barrel of the shotgun he'd seen earlier stared down at him along with the man wielding it. 

Ash's face was twisted into a look Herbert hadn't expected. 

No malicious or manic grin. 

No bared teeth and murder in his eyes. 

His expression was sorrowful. 

"He's dead, isn't he?"

"Wh-?" 

Herbert cried out when Ash ground his heel against his wrist, cutting his words off once again.

"Oh drop the act." Ash's face hardened a bit, "I know how this goes. Any fucking second, one of you fucks is gonna pop out wearing Dan's face." 

He didn't even have time to wonder what that even meant before he heard the front door open. 

Both men froze, Ash's eyes widened.

"Herbert? Why is the front door unl-" When Dan's eyes settled on the pair, he went stiff. 

"Dan-! You're alright!" Momentary relief washed over Ash's face before he cautiously raised his prosthetic. "Stay back, ok?"

"He's insane ! Dan, he's going to kill me!"

"Look, I know this looks bad but you gotta trust me." Dan looked like a deer in headlights as his eyes darted between the two men.

"A-Alright Ash," Panic swelled up in Herbert's chest. Was Dan really going to let Ash shoot him? Was he that upset? "Just put the gun down, we can talk. No one needs to get hurt." 

Ah. 

Of course. 

Dan was just placating him like he would with any unstable or potentially dangerous patient. Dan was intelligent enough to know proper procedure, after all.

"I can't. As much as I'd love to, I can't." Ash spoke in what was meant to be a reassuring tone, one which fell a bit short considering the situation, "This isn't Herbert, not anymore. He's dangerous."

"What do you mean?" Dan tried to take a slow step forward but halted when Ash's finger on the trigger twitched.

"The specifics aren't important right now, but the main thing you gotta know is that he's possessed with something Evil that wants you and me six feet under."

"Ash, listen to me. Right now," Dan carefully motioned toward Herbert. "You barely have him restrained. If he's that dangerous, why hasn't he tried anything?" 

" It knows I'm gonna blast its head off!"

"But, if Herbert was possessed and wanted to kill us, why would he be afraid of that? Wouldn't he still be trying anyway?"

"I…" It seemed like Dan was actually getting through to Ash. "But he did try to kill me!" 

"He came to the house with a shotgun and demanded to see you!" Herbert piped up when he saw Dan’s eyes widen a bit more. 

"I was scared! Dan, you just disappeared and- and I was scared I lost you too! Just like everyone else!"

"I'm alright, see? Everything is alright, so please just put down the gun and we'll talk."

Ash glanced between the two men, before letting out a shaky sigh. "... Promise to actually listen? Don't just write me off as being crazy, at least not 'til you heard me out."

"I promise."

Finally, Ash moved his foot from Herbert's wrist. When freed, he scrambled backward as far as he could from the, clearly insane, man while clutching his forearm. He and Dan watched as Ash placed the shotgun onto the table.

Silence hung in the air for a moment before Ash began to speak.

-

Well…

Things could've been much worse. 

Could’ve been much better too –it definitely wasn’t a great look for Ash to be caught with a shotgun aimed at his kind-of boyfriend’s crush– but Dan was alive, and Herbert seemed like he wasn't possessed, so it wasn’t a full on disaster. As much as he would’ve liked to, he couldn’t even really blame Herbert for reacting how he did, not when he really thought about it. 

Admittedly, coming here like he did wasn't the best plan.

Now, he had to prove he wasn’t just some psycho which, considering the story he was about to tell, wasn’t exactly gonna be a cake-walk. 

"It all started when I discovered a book called the Necronomicon. It's a genuine gateway to hell that lets Evil into our world, no bologna. These… demons possess people. It turns ‘em into these things, I call 'em deadites. They want the book for pretty obvious reasons, Evil demon stuff and all that. I got saddled with the task of destroying that Evil and became “The Chosen One”. Not my idea for a nickname, by the way.” He tried to ignore the looks on Dan and four-eyes’ faces as he continued. 

“But I was just your average guy when I found it. In this abandoned cabin, shit went real bad real fast. That Evil got to my girlfriend, my friends, my sister…” His chest tightened and throat felt dry. It was hard to talk about them, especially Cheryl, when so frequently his memories were so splotchy that he could only really remember losing Linda. It was like his brain tried to separate him from the full extent of the horrors of that night. Some kinda trauma response, probably. “Because they got taken over, I had to-” He fought to swallow the lump in his throat, he couldn’t start crying. 

Not now. 

“It's how I actually lost my hand. It got infected with that Evil and had to, y’know, give it the big chop.”

“You amputated your hand?” Dan’s words came out in a strangled breath. 

“Yeah.” Ash looked down at his prosthetic. “I know you don’t believe me already so I’ll save the time travel thing for another day, but everywhere I went left a trail of bodies, a lot of ‘em were people I got close to.” His gaze wandered to meet Dan’s. “So I thought…” He looked away. “I was so sure you got got all cus I was selfish and let myself get close.”

“Ash…” Dan walked to him and reached to take his hand but Ash just pulled away. This already hurt enough, Dan’s empathy and gentle touch would be too much. 

“Look, now that I know you’re ok I’ll be outta your hair. Whether you believe me or not, it's better off that way. Safer that way. For both of you.” He met Dan’s deep brown gaze, “You deserve to be happy and I can’t be part of that. I can’t give that to you.” He shot a look toward Herbert whose face was utterly unreadable, “ You . You better shape the fuck up and do that, make Dan happy.” 

“Wait- Ash, hold on-”

“I know what you’re gonna say. That if I stay, you’ll help me. Something about psychological help, right?” The look on Dan’s face and the way he averted his eyes told Ash he was dead on. 

Of course. Dan was just that kind of man, a heart too big for his own good.

“No can do. I’m real sorry, Dan. For everything, including this.” The sharp gasp from Dan as Ash pressed a soft kiss against his lips was probably something Ash would treasure forever. After a few seconds, he pulled back. “Sorry.”

Neither Dan nor Herbert didn’t make a move to follow as Ash left without looking back.

- 

Shocked silence hung in the air for a moment, Dan the world closing in around him.

This was his fault.

Everything that'd just happened was his fault. Because of his choice in companionship, Herbert had nearly died. Dan had nearly lost someone else because he was- 

It was only when Herbert shifted that Dan snapped back to reality, turning to rush to him. 

"Let me see your wrist." 

"Dan-" 

"Let me see it damnit!" Herbert slowly held out his arm, letting Dan examine it. It seemed like it'd be nothing more than a nasty bruise. He pulled Herbert into a tight hug, squeezing him close like the man would just disappear if he let go. "I'm sorry- I'm sorry, God I'm s-" 

"Daniel!" That time, it was Herbert's turn to interrupt Dan. Herbert pushed away just enough to look face to face. "It's alright."

"No! No, it's not-" Damnit. As much as he didn't want to cry, he felt tears welling up in his eyes. "Because I was a fucking coward I- you almost died , Herbert! It's my fault!"

Herbert shook his head, he seemed almost pridefully confident about his assessment. 

"That man was insane and clearly had some perverse obsession with you. It's hardly your fault that a crazy person stalked you after you cut him out."

"No Herbert, that's… it's not that." His voice cracked as he started to tremble. "He's probably unwell, but… there wasn't any of that. I- me and him-" The words weren't coming out, not while still looking into Herbert's eyes. Dan firmly shut his eyes before continuing. "We were in a relationship."

"What?"

"He came over so much because we were in a relationship."

"But… you and I…"

"Yeah." Dan shriveled in on himself. He felt like he was going to be sick with how he could practically feel Herbert's glare. "I'm so sorry, I didn't mean t-"

" Didn't mean to ? I suppose you just tripped and fell into bed with me then! A complete accident!" Herbert's words sliced through Dan like a scalpel, flaying him open and slashing at his vulnerable insides. Insides that were already rife with infection, left to fester. The filth of what Dan really was. "I also suppose ignoring me for a week after you so selfishly used my body was also a simple accident ! Is that right?"

"I-"

"I thought I lived with an altruistic young doctor, not some- some lying manwhore !" He heard Herbert get to his feet and stomp off. Down to the basement, most likely.

Dan didn't pay attention.

Of course this is how it'd go. How stupid could Dan be? 

He slowly crumpled onto the kitchen's linoleum floor, head slumped forward, a familiar numbness washed over him. The tears that had been welling up in his eyes dried near instantly, leaving them stinging as he stared blankly at the tile. 

Herbert had every right to react how he did, there was something wrong with Dan after all. He should've stayed hidden, shoved all of those ugly feelings down years ago. Should've completely destroyed them. No one would understand, he'd thought Ash did only to learn that the man was just mentally unwell. It made sense, looking back. No one with a sound mind would ever see Dan's impulses for infidelity as anything other than hateable. 

He didn't know how long he'd sat there before finally getting to his feet and trudging to his room. 

If only he had something to drink or smoke, anything to give even temporary respite from his thoughts, but he didn't.

He could listen to something on his walkman, try to read something, to channel surf –but no. 

Instead, all he did was slip into bed and wallow; to pray that tomorrow would never arrive, that he'd pass in his sleep. 

Eternal rest was a nice thought, even though he knew he'd never actually get it. Even if Herbert chose not to attempt reanimation on him, there was a non zero chance that Dan would end up in hell. His very real transgressions as well as whatever religious nut-jobs labeled as "sinful" would have him dragged to those fiery pits.

Chapter Text

After a nearly sleepless night, Dan managed to drag himself out of bed and to the kitchen. 

It wasn't like he was hungry, he had to satisfy his caffeine addiction. He didn't bother with any sweetener, instead just downing the bitter drink as quickly as he could manage, his tongue stinging from the heat. Dan tried to remember why he drank this stuff at all, it didn't actually wake him up.

He downed two more cups.

A quick rinse in the shower and he could actually get his day started. Soon he was dressed with keys in hand, stepping out the front door. 

It was nine in the morning, later than he'd typically wake up, and he didn't have a shift until noon but he just needed to be out of that house.

He could go in early or run out for groceries or something. Keep his mind busy and cling on to some semblance of normalcy. Pretend that things hadn't changed, at least for a little while longer.

Groceries were what he'd eventually decided on.

The only thing keeping the drive from being completely silent was the hum of his car's engine, though it did little to distract him. 

Good. 

He deserved to wallow in it. The parking lot was near empty, not many people tended to come this early in the morning. With a click, he turned off the ignition and slipped from the vehicle. 

Out of habit, he grabbed a cart though he wasn't quite sure if he'd pick up enough to justify it. He hadn't even taken stock of what they did or didn't have, but it didn't really matter. In he went, shuttering a bit at the chilly air –grocery stories were always just a bit too cold. 

He began pushing his cart down the nearest aisle, making his way past rows upon rows of colorful cereal mascots. Just as he lifted a box of cheerios, idly skimming the nutrition facts, a scream erupted from somewhere else in the store. 

It was a type of scream he recognized, one he had become well acquainted with throughout the horrors he faced; he'd certainly made it himself. Whoever was screaming was face to face with near certain death.

Immediately, he dropped the box and ran toward the noise, completely abandoning his empty cart without a second thought. Luckily the person was only a few aisles down by the fresh produce. A woman had seemingly collapsed on the floor in a considerably large, and growing, pool of blood. She laid on her side, partially curled in on herself. 

He rushed to her side, able to see the injury itself, a large gash down her midsection. It looked deep but Dan couldn't actually be sure how deep until he could actually inspect it, but she was bleeding too much to take that moment. He couldn't imagine what had caused it, but right now that didn't matter. 

Without hesitation, he tore off his jacket and pressed it hard against the wound, trying to stop the bleeding.

She looked up at him, wide eyed and panicked. "Who-"

"You'll be alright ma'am, I'm a doctor. Stay with me, alright?" Dan looked around, desperately trying to spot anyone else. "Someone call an ambulance!" He shouted, hoping a clerk or customer would hear his plea. It was a nasty injury, the bleeding showing no sign of slowing. She needed help now. "Can you tell me your name?"

His question went completely unanswered as she began to babble. 

"Doctor- there's- something here! It attacked me- we have t-" Her eyes, irises twitching, locked on something behind Dan and she shrieked. 

Before he could even turn to see, an impossibly strong force threw him flying into a shelf. Bottles of juice and soda rained down around him like an avalanche, some bursting and spraying sugary liquid everywhere. 

A man loomed over her, a horrific smile stretched far too wide across his ashen face. His eyes were pure milky white, no sign of iris or pupil. Whatever this was, it was more monster than man. It almost resembled one of his and Herbert's reanimated subjects, but its movements were too fluid. 

Too put together.

Too close to human.

"Doctor cocksucker can't save you now, little missy!" Its voice was gleeful yet unnaturally distorted. The woman didn't even have time to scream, the thing lunged at her quicker than humanly possible. 

Before Dan could process the movement, it brought its heel down right between her shoulder blades and grabbed a fistful of hair. It began to pull. Dan couldn't do anything but watch, completely frozen. It was agonizingly slow, with the woman remaining conscious –shrieking and thrashing wildly. "C'mon sweet cheeks, don't lose your head!" With a particularly loud crunch, the woman went limp as a ragdoll. 

Without her screams, Dan could hear each individual vertebrae snapping and the wet tearing of meat and sinew and cartilage. With one final and triumphant tug, one that demonstrated the thing had the strength to do what it did much quicker, finally rending her head from her shoulders. 

It held her decapitated head aloft like a trophy. 

After a moment it pressed an open mouthed kiss to the head's lips. 

"Catch ya on the flip side, babe. I'll call ya." 

After letting out a loud cackle, it unceremoniously tossed it over his shoulder, as if suddenly bored by its little charade.

Dan had seen a lot, but he couldn't think of much that quite measured up to what he'd just witnessed.

He had to get away.

Just as Dan managed to get to his feet to run, its head snapped in his direction. It was on him in an instant, before he could blink. A clammy, blood smeared hand wrapped around throat and he was slowly lifted off the ground. The grip was so tight it was barely avoiding completely crushing his windpipe. 

For just a moment, Meg flashed in his mind. 

How she'd died in this exact way.

Karmic justice.

"Sorry doc-y poo, you're not going anywhere!" Dan's thrashing and clawing didn't do anything to phase the thing, its arm barely even shook. It displayed such strength that Dan had zero doubt that, if desired, it could crush his esophagus in an instant. 

Yet it didn't. 

The thing displayed unmistakable sadism, it wanted Dan to suffer. 

"We gotta have a little chat! We're looking for something and you got some insider knowledge. So, be a good boy and cooperate, maybe you'll get a reward." The seductive tone it tried to display made Dan's stomach twist, he felt like he was about to be sick. It leaned up to lick the side of Dan's face, its tongue putrid smelling and swollen, its saliva an equally foul stenched ichor. "Fags like you like it a little rough, huh? You've already seen how good I am with head -"

Suddenly, a noise akin to a thunderclap rang out and the thing's head basically exploded, spattering his face with rancid viscera. Not the goriest thing he'd been a part of –or covered in– but definitely up there. It was certainly less horrific than the fate that woman had faced.

Its grasp went limp instantly and Dan collapsed to the ground almost simultaneously as it fell backward with a wet thud . His vision was compromised thanks to the gore and he could barely hear anything other than his wheezing breaths over the ringing in his ears, leaving him wildly vulnerable. Then, someone was by his side, hooking an arm around him and helping to lift him to his feet and saying something he couldn't quite make out before wiping his face. Slowly he turned his head to see his savior, looking back at him.

It was Ash. 

Blood spattered his face, not even close to the amount caking his own. He wore a dour expression, steely in a way Dan had never seen on him before.

"Ash?"

"We gotta go." Dan just managed to make out before Ash was half carrying him to the entrance.

-

Ash sped down the streets of an early morning Arkham, gripping the steering wheel so hard his knuckles had gone a pasty white. Beside him sat Dan, quiet and disoriented. That in specific didn't worry him, the man had previously mentioned his tendency to go into shock, but the situation itself and the hand-shaped bruise on his throat had Ash beyond on edge.

While Ash had laid awake in his car, ruminating on what had happened mere hours before, the deadites had finally decided to rear their ugly heads. A pair had descended on him with their usual shtick, nothing particularly groundbreaking or difficult to deal with. 

Despite that, he was left panicked. 

If they were already coming for him there was no way Dan wouldn't be caught in the crossfire. He'd scrambled to find him and barely managed to swoop in before something awful happened. Now, he had to make sure Dan's actual partner was also safe and sound.

"So, was that one of the things you talked about?" Dan suddenly, but softly, spoke up.

"Yeah, it was." 

"So it's real."  

"You tell me. Did it feel real?" Ash snapped before he could catch himself. The stress was getting to him. "Shit- I'm sorry, I didn't mean to snap it's just- fuck, I'm so glad I got there on time."

" I'm sorry. I should've believed you."

"Nah, you had no reason to believe me. If I hadn't seen all this first hand, I sure as shit wouldn't believe anything I told you." 

"But-"

"But nothing. You walked in on me about to splatter your roommate's brains on your kitchen floor and then started talking about demon zombies."

"The demon part was a lot, but…" Dan hesitated and drew a deep breath. "Ash, I've never told you about what Herbert and I do."

Right then, the last thing Ash wanted to hear was anything having to do with Herbert.

He was already about to put his neck on the line to save the guy's life, he didn't need anything to make him hesitate. He pretty thoroughly hated the little freak but, hell, he didn't want the guy dead or turned into an even worse freak with some demonic mumbo jumbo sprinkled on top.

What he and Dan did was none of his business, not anymore. Once they were safe, he'd make good on that promise of getting out of their lives. Even if Dan was safe right then, he couldn't guarantee it'd stay that way unless he was out of the picture.

"Look kid, that can wait." The car screeched to a halt in front of Dan's place. "Right now, we gotta get the doc." He reached into Dan's backseat, grabbing his chainsaw and securing it. The two got out of the car, Dan staring wide eyed at Ash's "accessory" . "You know how to shoot a gun?"

"Uh, a pistol."

"Good enough." Ash shoved his shotgun into his hands and a small box of shells. "She's got a kickback and only two shots before you gotta reload."

"Right, got it." 

Ash still had Dan's keys and unlocked the front door. "If anything happens, you get outta there."

"Fuck that!" 

He turned to find Dan staring at him, a fierce determination glinting in his eyes. 

Despite the situation being so dire, Ash couldn't help but take a moment to admire the man. Tan skin glistening with sweat, a smear of red across that gorgeous face of his. He'd pulled off his flannel, now just in an undershirt which showed off his toned body. All that and the sawed off shotgun in his hands made him look like a lead in an action movie.

"Ash, I love you." Cutting through his thoughts, Dan managed to say something that made his heart skip a beat. "So if you think I'm ever just going to leave you for dead, you're sorely mistaken." 

"Well shit." Ash felt a grin spread across his face. "Alright then, no running then." 

With a nod, Ash turned back to the door and the pair headed inside. It was quiet. There was no sign of anything having broken into the house, but that didn't guarantee anything. Ash had learned how insidious and cunning the Deadites could be. 

They had human intelligence, at least relatively so. He'd grown to expect the unexpected.

"The basement." Dan spoke in a hushed whisper. "That's where Herbert will be."

"Gotcha." So, that's where the two headed. Just as he grasped the knob, Dan grabbed his arm.

"Let me go first and- what you're gonna see down there, I promise I can explain it." 

Ash felt himself hesitating. 

Letting Dan go down first wasn't exactly something he was keen on, he'd have to take the brunt of whatever attack may or may not come. Also, he couldn't imagine how bad or strange whatever was down there was that Dan felt the need to warn him.

But, he finally relented and stepped aside. Dan slipped in before him. Down the stairs, there was another door and Dan gave him one last pleading look before opening it.

The place in and of itself didn't surprise Ash, not really. 

Once or twice he'd overheard Dan talking to Herbert about a lab, something Dan had avoided giving a full answer to, so it did make sense. Hell, seeing Herbert hunched over science-y stuff looked completely natural, like it was where he belonged. He almost didn't understand why Dan had been so cagey about everything until he realized what Herbert was fiddling with.

A human arm. 

Ash's breath caught in his throat, bewildered. It wasn't out of fear or anything considering, even unarmed, he could just punt that twerp into next week if he pulled anything fishy. Still, it was quite the shock. Dan, on the other hand, didn't even bat an eye at the severed limb.

Herbert wheeled around. "What the hell do you wan-" He cut himself off when he saw the pair.

The guy looked actually afraid, stumbling backward and grasping at the table for something to defend himself. 

He couldn't blame the little guy.

Well.

Not for that reaction, he couldn't blame him. He could blame him for other stuff.

"We have to go." Dan said quickly, eyes darting wildly around the room. There were more body parts. "The things Ash talked about, they're real." 

"What?" Damn. That squeak was borderline pathetic, it almost made Ash feel bad for him.

"They're real! One attacked me, and I know it wasn't one of ours, Herb. I don't know how, but it knew that I knew Ash and found me specifically. We gotta go . Get the gun!"

Without further questions or protest, Herbert skittered away to do exactly that. He also started to toss a few things in a bag, one item being a bottle of some glowing green liquid.

"What in the fresh the fuck , Dan?" Was all Ash could muster, the question barely audible. 

Dan gave him an imploring look, one he'd be more into in a different situation.

"Herbert and my Work, it's- it's about reversing death." It took a moment for Ash to grapple with that.

"You… make zombies?"

"Not zombies!" Instead of Dan, Herbert replied with a hiss. "Of course someone as small minded and imbecilic as you would th-" 

Before Herbert could start describing what someone like Ash would think, a metal door near the back of the lab flew open and let out a gust of chilled air. 

Dan shot Herbert a wide eyed look. "Didn't you lock the freezer?!"

Herbert shot a look right back at him, a mix between a glare and confusion. 

"We don't have a lock on the freezer! Why would we have a lock on the freezer?"

Out hobbled the body of a woman, slowed seemingly thanks to the cold. It crunched and popped with each movement, as if breaking ice. Ash wasn't even sure if it was a deadite considering the info that'd been just dumped on him. Still, he pushed past the two as his chainsaw whirred to life. Regular zombie or demon zombie, he guessed it didn't make that much of a difference. 

Just as he was about to rush it, the partially dissected hand splayed on the table launched itself directly at his face. He didn't react quick enough and it latched on tightly, digging its nails into his cheeks and completely obscuring his vision. 

"Fuck!" Ash stumbled back, trying to tear it off himself. Of course it was a disembodied hand! What the hell was with him and hands? 

"Ash! Shit-" He heard Dan call out before something seemingly went for him if the noise he made was any indication.

If deadites were grabbing individual parts, that spelt disaster –Place was decked out with a generous variety to pick from. A shotgun blast rang out, deafening in the enclosed space of the basement.

This was bad. 

Reeeeally bad.

-

It was utter pandemonium.

The mechanical roar of the chainsaw, the clattering and crashing of equipment, the frantic shouts, the ringing of his ears-

Herbert found himself completely overwhelmed, his skin buzzing with adrenaline as he wildly cast his gaze around. He had to try to figure out what the fuck was happening.

The shot had been from Dan, hitting what should have been a frozen cadaver right in the gut, sending it sprawling backward into the ground. It was completely still, not even twitching as it laid there. 

Speaking of Dan, Herbert reeled around to look in his direction. The kickback of the shot had sent him stumbling back, losing his footing slamming hard against a shelf. Jars of preserved specimens and lab equipment crashed around him. The former came to life behind him and  

His head spun, screaming at him to do something, while his body refused to comply.

None of it made sense. 

Nothing that was moving should've been . No reagent had been administered- not even the hand he'd been working with which was currently clawing at Ash. Everything that was swarming them should’ve still been lifeless.

When Dan cried out, his body finally could move again; he momentarily disregarded logic to dash toward his partner. His friend . The man he loved .

He was all that mattered right then. Getting Dan and getting out of there was all that mattered . Those hurt feelings and the argument that had been spurred by them meant nothing right then. He could be mad at him later.

Herbert couldn't even get close before something caught his ankles and sent him sprawling onto the ground. 

He looked down to see one of his to-be-discarded projects clinging to him. It was a dog in which he'd implanted a human voice box and esophagus to see if it'd affect the noises the thing made; he also may have attached human arms, moreso for entertainment than scientific curiosity –he'd gotten bored, he couldn't be blamed for that. In the end, it hadn't resulted in anything interesting and had nearly gotten a finger, so it has been promptly put down.

That meant bashing its head in.

Yet there it was, caved in cranium and all, smiling at him.

He didn't know a dog could smile; with malice nonetheless. 

“Woof woof!” A human voice, butchered and sloppy as it was, came from the thing. Its eyes rolled in its head, milky white and disgustingly human. 

“Let go of me!” He spat, trying to yank a leg free to at kick it. 

“Aw, don't you wuv your sweet puppy. Or is hunky Igor over there your favorite dog ?” It nodded its head in Dan's direction. Dan had managed to toss off the things piled on him but had ended up backed into a corner.  

What did it mean by calling Dan a dog ? No- It didn't matter!

“Such a good boy.” Nails dug into him, breaking the skin and scraping hard against him with each movement. “And oh-so obedient! Right Herbie?” It smiled wider, viscous yellow sludge dripping from its maw. “Always comes back, tail between those muscular legs of his!”

“I said let go!” 

It reared back to snap at him; there was no doubt it’d be able to incapacitate him if it got the right spot. Before the wretched thing could, the roaring of a chainsaw once again flooded his ears along with unholy screeching and the severing of flesh and bone. Gore spattered him and he was able to scramble away, kicking off the —once again— disembodied arms to free himself. The neck stump had begun to ooze more of that slimy yellow liquid along with the blood. 

“ “Man’s best friend” , my left nut!” Ash pulled his leg back, punting the thing’s head across the room. He turned his attention to Herbert, towering over him with his gore covered chainsaw. “What the fuck was that thing, you sick freak?!” Herbert was yanked up by his arm, roughly bringing him to his feet. 

“An experiment-” 

“God- whatever-” Ash shook his head hard. “Just get out of here! I'll make sure Dan’ll be right behind you then I-” 

Before the man could finish his sentence, something slammed into his back; arms and legs latching onto him from behind. The woman’s body —which had received a shotgun blast to the stomach — snaked its arms around his neck, squeezing like a vice. It propped its chin on his shoulder in a way that could almost come off as playful.

“Are you that excited to get some alone time with me, Ashy-poo? I'm flattered!” Its voice was ruined, horrible to listen to. Especially when it let out horrible cackling from currently defrosting vocal chords.

“Get- out-” Ash spat, struggling against the thing, forcefully moving backward. “I'll deal with th- FUCK-” He cried out as the thing bit down on him hard, digging teeth deep into him. It sent him stumbling, the chainsaw attached to his arm slashing against his chest. Blood spewed from the wound, which only made the thing laugh harder. 

“ASH-” Dan screamed, barely able to be heard over the incessant revving of the chainsaw and cackling of the creature. He’d ditched the shotgun, instead clutching the ax they kept on hand. Herbert was pulled out of the way, Dan sending him staggering toward the stairs. The taller man looked back at him, eyes wide and pleading. “Herbert- get out of here!” 

Just as Dan turned back, an amalgamation of a humanoid figure crashed hard into him and sent him flying. Whatever was doing this had managed to piece together and animate individual parts into some twisted mimicry of a man. 

Dan was down.

Ash was occupied.

Herbert was the only one still standing.

He could very easily turn and escape —the stairway was wide open— and he just might’ve if it had only been Ash in peril. But it wasn’t. Dan was in just as bad of a situation.

The gun’s metal was cool in his hand, even as his palms had begun to sweat. He focused on the temperature and weight as the chaos raged around him, letting it meld into a horrible white noise as he raised the weapon and took aim at Ash’s assailant. 

With the main flailing like he was, it was a risky shot. Very easily, Ash could end up the one with a bullet in his brain. It wasn’t the man he particularly cared about saving, it was the chainsaw strapped to him that was the priority, but he didn’t particularly want to kill him. With a steadying breath, he lined up the shot and- 

Right between the eyes. 

-

The house was silent, Herbert tending to Ash while Dan laid unconscious on their couch. 

When Ash freed himself, he instantly rushed to Dan and turned the amalgamation to mince meat. The wound was mostly superficial and —with Herbert’s help— they dragged an unconscious Dan up the stairs. He must’ve hit his head, Herbert would have to check for a concussion.

What'd happened could've gone much worse, though Herbert was still trying to pin down the "what" and "how" of everything. Other than the obvious, one question troubled him. 

Unfortunately, there were more pressing matters at hand. 

He finished stitching the laceration on Ash's chest and began to bandage it.

"I can do that." Ash grunted, his movement a bit uncoordinated as his adrenaline crashed, and caught Herbert's wrist.

"And I can do it far more effectively." Herbert yanked away his hand, glaring up at the man through his, considerably dirtied, glasses.

With a huff, Ash relented. 

"Look, this has been great and all, but I gotta bounce." The strain was obvious as Ash lifted himself up from the chair. 

"Absolutely not. I have no doubt in my mind that you'll tear those stitches right away." Herbert puffed up, getting to his feet and blocking his way.

"Oh come on doc, we both know that you don't give a damn if I die or not. Dan's out like a light, there's no need to play nice. I hate you, you hate me, simple! If you're worried about what he'll say, just tell him I knocked you out or somethin'. I either go back to my shit life or curl up and die in a ditch. Boom, you're off scot free!"

"You'll leave when I say you can leave, Mister Williams. Sit."

Irritation flashed across Ash's face. 

" Do you not get it ?! Those things are only here because I'm here! When I'm gone, your life goes back to whatever fucked up normal it was and you get Dan to yourself!"

"Get Dan to myself?!" Herbert gaped indignantly, taking a step back as if the words themselves had struck him.

"No more of him and I fucking . Not in your house or outside of it or whatever. He can go back to basically worshiping you with nothing in return, no more distractions!" 

" What the hell do you mean?"

"You really never noticed? Some genius you are!" The laugh Ash let out made even more rage bubble up inside Herbert. "Everything he did was about you and no matter how much he knew you didn't actually fucking care, he just took it! D'you know what that's like? To be told by the man you love that he's fine with being used? Holding him when he cries because he's so tired of it all- and then just watching him go right back and apologize for being a fucking person!" 

"Wh-"

"I always knew he'd choose you over me, but that was fine! I signed up for that because- fuck, it was just nice to feel like I could have him. Just for a little while! Just-"

"Stop it!" A new voice broke through the argument. Dan had woken up, face stricken with a desperately pained expression. "Both of you! I- Ash, please just sit down." 

At Dan's behest, Ash finally did so. The pair looked at him, watching his chest heave. 

"I fucked up! There's something fucked up about me and- shit- I'm sorry.” He scrubbed his hand over his face. “I don't know why I'm like this, I know it's disgusting and wrong and- and I wish I could change. I didn't know how to deal with it, so I ran away from you two. It wasn't fair, I- I didn't mean to hurt either of you." 

"Dan I-"

"Stop it! Just, listen." His eyes pleaded with the pair. "Ash, I… I wasn't just with you as a replacement for Herbert. I wasn't biding time til something magically happened. I really love you. I… thought you understood that." 

Herbert felt nauseous listening to him speak. 

So Dan had feelings for Ashley and slept with him out of impulse. It'd been a mistake and he regretted holding him. Just as Herbert was about to storm out, Dan turned his attention toward him.

"Herbert, I… I know you hate me now, and that's fine. Anyone would. But, I wasn't using you. I really do love you too. I've felt that way for… for a while."

A mix of emotions hit him and, out of all of them, anger was easiest to grasp onto.

"I don't appreciate my intelligence being insulted, Cain! Whatever sick proclivities you may have, don't you try and justify them to me as if they were something innocent!"

"Why the fuck is that so hard to believe, huh?" Dan's sudden rage was almost overwhelming as he shot upward, looming over Herbert and the sitting Ash. "That someone can love more than one person?! Y'know what? I'm tired of just, believing I'm some- some perverted fucking dick! Hate me all you want, but don't you dare tell me the kind of person I am!" 

"Dan, calm down-" Ash tried to placate him.

"I really thought you understood!" Tears were welling in Dan's eyes as Dan wheeled around to face him. "You acted like you did! I- I shared things I've hidden away my entire life and you acted like you understood! But you didn't, did you? No one will! I-" Dan's voice cracked and he hung head, words much softer now. Defeated. "I thought I came to terms with that."

Herbert didn't know what to think, let alone say, as he watched Dan slump back onto the couch. 

On one hand, he knew that Dan was not a good enough liar to act this convincingly, but on the other hand… Well, he just couldn't wrap his head around it. 

Polygamy in the animal kingdom wasn't uncommon and it was even occasionally present in humans, though romantic love was hardly a factor. It was a misogynistic practice with a basis in status and having power over others. 

A perverted, predatory fetish.

But then again, people viewed homosexuality in a relatively similar manner. As a homosexual himself, Herbert was familiar with sexual based discrimination; having his attraction lumped in with something perverse or morally reprehensible. The understanding of sexual identity was evolving each day. If Dan's feelings were genuine then it very well could be that it was more than just based on sex.

"I'll be honest," Ash spoke before Herbert could ponder anything else, "I don't understand it."

"See, I-"

"Let me finish, Danny." Carefully, he got to his feet and went to Dan. He was putting a great amount of care into how he moved, Herbert noted. Good, he'd taken time on those stitches. "I don't get it, but I don't get a lot of stuff. Me getting something doesn't mean jack or shit." He sat gingerly and took Dan's hands in his. "I love you Danny, and that's really fuckin' scary . Scary to think about sharing you or, more likely, losing you. Someone hurting you. Watching one of these things kill you or take over."

"Ash…"

"I'm sorry I hurt you." He let go of Dan's hand that was in his flesh hand to instead cup his face. "You aren't wrong, Danny. You have the biggest heart of anyone I've ever met, you got a lotta love to give. That's not bad."

Herbert cleared his throat and the seated men looked up at him. "I agree with Mister Williams, but exclusively on this. It was… unfair of me to imply that your sexual and romantic orientation is… perverse. As a homosexual, I should know better. No, as a scientist I should know better."

"It's different." Dan murmured, his gaze falling to the floor.

"Maybe it is but maybe it isn't, but writing it off as immoral with only a limited understanding is hardly reasonable."

Dan snickered softly, though his eyes were still glazed with tears. "Since when have you been reasonable?"

“I resent that.” 

“Of course you do.” The smile that was on Dan's face slowly fell and he looked down at his hands. “Look, I… I've never been able to even consider pursuing a relationship with more than one person. That's never been a possibility. I want to be with both of you but I can't make you. Hell, I’d never want to force either of you but… I would… if you wanted to try.”

Herbert tensed at the thought, unable to even process it. Before he could express the whirlwind of feelings going through his head, Ash spoke up.

“Danny, I can't stay here.” Ash murmured, smiling sadly, brushing a bit of hair from Dan's face. “I've already been here too long. Gotten too close. That's why you got attacked, why they knew things about you. It's my fault.”

“Ash-”

“It's better if I go.” His eyes unconsciously flicked up toward Herbert, then away just as quickly. His shoulders slumped a bit more; an uncomfortable feeling Herbert couldn't quite pin down made him shudder. “You don't need me. As long as you two work shit out, you'll be just fine. I should've left ages ago, even without all the demon zombie shit, I'm just not built for this kind of life. I just got selfish.”

He watched as Dan took Ash’s face in his hands. “Be selfish with me, Ash.”

Conflict displayed clear as day on Ash's face as he looked away. “I can't. Not if it means you getting hurt.” 

“That's ridiculous.”

Both men turned to look up at Herbert, startled by his sudden interjection.

“In Dan and my line of research, we often come into contact with threats.” Herbert continued, averting his gaze. “If we were more prepared, I'm confident that tonight would've gone completely differently. We have the full scope of everything, so we can deal with it. The pair of us lived in a warzone for multiple months, Mr. Williams.” 

“Why…” Ash trailed off, staring at Herbert. “Why are you trying to get me to stay?”

What an asinine question. It was obvious, but Ash was a bit slow compared to him and Dan, so it couldn't be helped. 

“Because,” Herbert crossed his arms, “Dan wants you to.” 

“Herbert…” A soft smile spread across Dan's face and Herbert looked away quickly.

“Your happiness is vital to The Work. To keep you productive. As long as Mr. Williams doesn't become a distraction like he was before, it's a net positive.”

He hoped Dan would read between the lines.

In his peripheral vision, he saw Dan hold a hand out to him. He shuffled a bit closer and took it. 

“But he's right.” Dan turned back to Ash, squeezed Herbert’s hand. “You don't need to do this alone. Hell, it's probably much better if you don't.” His mouth quirked up into a slight smile. “What’s one more person raising the dead? I can handle that.”

Ash looked at him for a moment, wearing an expression that was unsure, vulnerable. Nothing he could have ever expected to see on someone like Ash Williams. His gaze turned up toward Herbert and lingered, a question in his eyes. 

“Y’know what?” Ash let his eyes close, taking a deep breath. It seemed as if it took effort to give his response. “Yeah. Yeah, I want to give this a shot. I'll stay.” 

“Really?” 

“I'm a lot of things Danny, a liar isn't one of them.” He let his head lull forward, resting against Dan’s shoulder. “I mean, not all the time.”

That made Herbert roll his eyes. “How reassuring.” 

At that, Ash turned to glare up at him, a glare which Herbert met with equal ferocity. They held each other's gaze for a long moment before Dan burst out laughing. Tears welled in his eyes as he tossed his head back.

“I really have to have lost my mind, haven’t I?” Dan could barely manage to speak as laughter broke down into stuttering sobs. He dragged Herbert down to press a kiss against his lips before doing the same for Ash.  “I love you both, thank you.”

Herbert didn’t know how this would go. He didn’t know if this idea was terrible or perfect, but if it could make Dan that happy…? 

Well, it was a hypothesis worth testing.