Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

It was 8:17 am, on a normal Saturday. A ring rang through the house of a successful actor. Roman opened the door to his long-distance boyfriend.
Instantly, he smiled, "Virgil! You weren't supposed to be back for another 2 weeks!"
The boyfriend in question, Virgil, rubbed his neck, "Yea, yea. I know. I needed to pick up something for one of my classes. I thought I'd stop by and spend the day with you. I have time today."

Roman opened the door more and stretched his arm to welcome his unexpected visitor in.
Virgil strolled in and took his shoes off, as Roman leaned over him. He noticed the missing jacket and a bright red choker.
"So, uh," Roman mumbled, "What's with the choker? I don't think I've seen you with one before, much less a red one. And your jacket is gone?"

Virgil lifted his head from his task, "Oh..I thought I'd try something new, I guess. And my jacket is being washed today.." His face looked like the embodiment of 'don't bring it up', so Roman didn't mention it.

"Well, I like the color," Roman complimented. Virgil went up on his toes and gave Roman a small kiss on the cheek.
Roman's face grew a small amount of red on it as a smile spread.

Virgil smirked and started walking to the living room. Roman took to chance to look his distressed boyfriend over. He looked unusually pale, almost like sickly pale. Being pale wasn't anything new for Virgil, but he's never been this pale before. That choker popped against his skin. Hard to miss it when it's that bright.

"So, what were you going to do today, Princey?" Virgil jumped onto the soft, off-white couch.

His voice! It was gravely and creaky! That is not Virgil's voice. His voice is low, raspy at times, and Roman's favorite sound in the whole world! Virgil must be sick or something.

Roman got to the conclusion that he shouldn't mention it, and realized he has been taking a long time to answer, "Oh, I haven't planned anything. I was actually just going to chill and put a movie on."

"That sounds perfect," Virgil's smile made Roman's heart speed up.
"Just like you, Mayday Parade."
"You've been studying?" Virgil looked into Roman's drowning brown eyes.
"Only for you, Dark eyes."

"What movie?" Virgil moved his attention to the screen.
"Nightmare Before Christmas? I know it's your favorite," Roman laughed lightly.
Virgil's head found it's way onto Roman's chest as he lied down, just listening to Roman's ongoing heartbeat.

They spent the rest of the movie sitting close, debating on whether it was a halloween movie or christmas movie, and talking. Then went on to a full analysis of the 1 hour and 16 minute movie.

Soon enough, it was 9:00 pm.
"Are you sure you don't want anything? I have your favorites?" Roman begged Virgil.
However, Virgil wasn't having it, "I'm sure. You're right, they are my favorites, but I haven't been hungry today."

Roman's face went down even more, "But-"
He was interrupted, "Nope, no buts. I promise I'm not hungry."
Roman pouted, "Only cause you insist." Virgil's lips grew into a simple smile.

"What time do you have to leave?" Roman lifted his head from the counter.
"Uh, probably around 9:30," his face turned to the right side, as a frown laced his features. That red choker still a prominent piece on his sickly neck.
"Do you have to go?" Roman sighed under his breath.
"Yea, I have to. I'm sorry," Virgil didn't look at Roman, but anyone could tell he had tears collecting in his eyes. His voice sounded almost broken.

"Hey, what's wrong, Dark and Stormy?" Roman rounded the counter and held his boyfriend in his arms.
His shirt was already getting wet, "I'm sorry," Virgil gasped in between his weeping.
"Hey, it's alright. Come on, we'll sit down," Roman spoke in a very soft tone, despite his internal panic over the well-being of his lover.

Roman held a crying Virgil in his arms for 10 minutes. All he ever said was 'I'm sorry', 'I didn't mean to', 'none of this is your fault', 'I hope you forgive me', and 'you mean everything to me.' None of his comments made any sense or eased Roman's ever growing nerves.

Eventually, Virgil calmed down enough to stop crying and babbling.
After about 2 minutes of silence, Roman's voice whispered, "Are you alright?" Roman was surprised at his sentence. He hadn't meant to voice his concern until a bit later. But it's now or never.

Virgil didn't speak for a long moment.
"Yeah."

Obviously, he wasn't okay. He was-

"I'm better now that I've spent the day with you." Virgil gently guided Roman's face.

A small kiss landed on Roman's lips. That was the first time Virgil had ever done that. He always went on about how it was gross and could spread so much bacteria, and whatnot.

Roman sat in shock for a couple seconds, then a grin spread across his face. "I love you, Stormcloud."
Virgil looked into Roman's eyes once more, "I love you more."

Virgil glanced at the clock, 9:25 pm.
His eyes threatened to let tears fall again. "5 minutes.." he quietly told his bright, shining boyfriend.

Virgil stood up, letting Roman grab his hand, and walked over to put his shoes on.

Roman's face lowered into a gloomy look, because the thought of Virgil leaving did upset him. As Virgil tied his shoes, Roman's eyes focused on his wonderful boyfriend. How had he gotten so lucky?

"Okay Princey, I gotta go now," Virgil's expression mirrored his soulmate's unhappy gloom.
"Okay.." Roman's voice sunk.

"Hey Roman?"
"Yea?"
"I love you more than anything, okay?"
"That can't be true, Virgil, because anything would have to surpass everything. And I love you more than everything."

Virgil smiled, but it had a hint of sadness behind it. A single tear slowly traced his face. He nodded for a quick moment and just stared at Roman's face. His eyes slowly moved to the world, glancing one last time at his beloved, he turned away.

And with that, he left.

Chapter Text

10:00 pm. Same day.

Roman sat on his couch, just thinking. He's had a wonderful day today, all things considered. An intruding sound interrupted his thought, the doorbell. He jumped up and opened the door. It revealed Patton and Logan.

Patton's eyes were red, his cheeks warmed with pink and tear stains, and his eyes glazed with tears. Logan's dark brown hair was messy, his eyes were also red, and his clothes had obvious tear stains.

Roman wordlessly opened the door more, to let his friends in. They took the invitation and sat on one side of his couch. He sat on the other, "Are you two..okay?" His voice was steady, quiet, and supportive.

Patton's eyes filled with tears, spilling into his cheeks again. He sniffed and tried to speak, "It's Virg-" His words broken by sobs. Logan instantly had his arm around Patton. Logan's gaze settled with Roman, "Come here...if you would." Logan's voice was rough with hours of emotion behind it. Roman slowly joined in the hug, still unsure what was going on. He knew he was needed so he did the best he could to help.

After a moment he asked again, "I couldn't quite hear what you said. Do you think you could, maybe, repeat yourself? No pressure."

Patton looked like he wanted to scream out what was wrong, like he wanted to tell everyone and anyone who would listen, but he simply couldn't. He bent down to his bag, pulling out a medium sized envelope with the words 'Roman' written on them in purple ink, and a hoodie he knew all too well.

"What happened to Virgil?" His breath hitched as he took the hoodie he designed with his boyfriend after a difficult night of destructive thoughts.

Logan blinked a few times before using his 'I'm giving a presentation so informative tone only' voice, "Virgil was found dead. Today at 6:20 in the morning. His roommate walked in after he missed his alarm. Virgil hung himself." Logan's voice stayed measured, however it was clear the real Logan was slipping through. His voice started to break before the last sentence, tears falling with the last words.

Roman just stared. Virgil was just here, wasn't he?

"He couldn't have died," his eyes moved to the jacket. "I saw him today. He was here! We watched a movie and we-"

"Roman, kiddo.." Patton squinted with a frown. "Are you sure?"

"I'm certain! He was in his black jeans, checkered vans, a grey shirt-"

Logan's voice was low as he attempted to prevent the poor man from spiraling, "Roman-"

Roman stood up, hugging the jacket and envelope to his beating heart, tears silently streaming his face, "I know he was here! I saw him!"

Patton spoke quietly but enough to be heard, "Roman! Please. No one is doubting you, kiddo."

Roman quickly ran through this day with Virgil. His breakdown. "I hope you can forgive me."How could Roman have been so stupid?

Roman instantly collapsed to his knees. He held the jacket and note to his chest as he struggled between breathing and crying. "I forgive you," slipped his mouth silently as he gasped for the breath Virgil would never have again.

"He's gone. He's really gone." Roman voice echoed through him. His world came crumbling down when that rope caught the most important person with it.

Chapter Text

Dear Roman,

I'm so sorry. I couldn't take everything anymore. It was all too much. I hope you'll forgive me. This wasn't your fault. Not at all. In fact, you kept me alive all this time. You came in my life and you brought joy and light. You are my everything. I'm so happy I meant you in this lifetime. Maybe we'll be soulmates again, in another life. I love you so much. I love the jacket you made me. I love all the nicknames you give me. I love all of our late night calls when we should be sleeping. I love the way you help anyone who wants it. I love how you act on stage. I love your voice. I love the way you light up a room just by existing. I love your dedication. I love your creativity. I love all the little things you do. I love you more than you'll ever know. I hope to see you again one day, but not anytime soon, yea? Thank you for everything. You deserve anything and everything good that ever happens.