Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Mollymauk sat in the passenger seat of Gustav’s shitty SUV, tapping his foot on the ground and trying not to broadcast his emotions to the man sitting beside him.

Not that he was falling apart or anything. Just… tense. He wasn’t sure if that was exactly right, but his friends were still being weird as hell, and it was starting to irk him. He’d expected everyone to settle down after they’d slept on whatever the fuck had happened yesterday. But no. Things had somehow gotten worse, and Molly still had no idea what the fuck was going on.

Caleb was MIA. He hadn’t eaten lunch with them today, which wasn’t especially unusual for him, but then he hadn’t come to the club meeting after school, and that was. And the Gentleman seemed to have been informed of his absence beforehand, which meant Caleb had gotten permission to skip, which meant something was pretty damn wrong with him.

On top of Caleb’s disappearance, Beau was being even more of a cagey bitch than usual. Despite Molly’s efforts to cheer her up the day before, she was moody and withdrawn. And Nott was basically silent, glancing around looking nervous the entire day. Both of them dodged his politely vague questions and practically ignored his attempts to be annoying and over-the-top for the sake of normalcy. And now he was going home for the weekend, and he wouldn’t see any of them until fucking Monday.

And Yasha still hadn’t answered his text. Which he’d sent yesterday. And that was fine because Yasha had her own life, and she was on a fun school trip with Jester and Fjord, and presumably none of them knew that the rest of the group had shattered into pieces. So, it wasn’t like she was trying to add to his stress because Yasha would never.

He just wasn’t used to her being gone, not being able to talk to her all the time. She was in almost all of his first memories, and she’d been one of the very few constants in his life since then. Always there, even before they’d gotten as close as they were. A silent, steady presence.

But she wasn’t here, and Molly was fine with that. They didn’t need to be together all the time. It was honestly probably better that she wasn’t here to see this mess, Molly reasoned. It would stress her out. She was so gentle, always worrying about everybody else. Molly inhaled and exhaled and pulled himself from his thoughts. He was alright.

“Molly,” Gustav said, maybe for the second or third time, based on the slight hint of worry in his tone.

“Hm?” Molly glanced over at the man.

“Where’s your head at, kid?” Gustav took his eyes off the road for a split second to give Molly a vaguely concerned look. “Haven’t said a word since you got in.”

“I dunno,” Molly shrugged as he brushed the remnants of his thoughts from his mind. Pulled himself to the present. “We’re back now, though.”

“Glad to hear it,” Gustav raised an eyebrow, voice mocking but fond. Molly smirked.

“How’s your day been?” Molly asked, relaxing into their dynamic. Bantering and snarky and fun.

“Let’s say uneventful,” Gustav said with a sigh. “Had another audition today, but I sucked ass, so that’s not going anywhere.”

“Love that for you,” Molly smirked, sliding down the car seat into an exaggerated lounge.

“Asshole,” Gustav chuckled, reaching a hand over to flick Molly’s shoulder as he turned into the neighborhood.

“You love me,” Molly said with more bravado than the statement really warranted. For the bit.

He glanced up at Gustav, expecting a retort. But something in the man’s eyes softened, and Molly’s stomach dropped.

“You’re a piece of shit, you know that?” Gustav said, and the moment was gone. Whatever the fuck it had been. Molly swallowed and tried to pull himself back into their banter. Like nothing had happened.

“I know,” he tried to smile, but it fell flat.

Gustav looked down at Molly briefly, clearly concerned. But he didn’t say anything, which was nice of him, really. A few moments of awkward silence passed before Gustav pulled into the driveway of his house and finally spoke.

“I work tonight, but I made dinner. Your half’s in the fridge whenever you want it.” Gustav turned off the car and got out, glancing at Molly to make sure he’d heard.

Molly nodded, hoping desperately that he didn’t look as shell-shocked as he felt.

“Yeah, alright. Thank you,” he said to try and save face. “What time?”

“I’ve got to leave pretty soon here,” Gustav held the door for Molly as they entered the house, and Molly tried not to feel uncomfortable. It was fine. It was normal.

“Gross,” Molly said, throwing as much of his snarky charm as he could muster into his words. “Sucks to suck, I guess.”

It seemed to work because Gustav laughed and gently hit the back of Molly’s head as he moved past him towards his bedroom.

“I’m going to get ready.”

Molly nodded because there wasn’t much else to do, and slowly forced himself to move towards the stairs. Nothing had happened, really. There hadn’t been a conversation. Gustav was acting like he normally did, and it was just a stupid look that Molly very likely misinterpreted. It was fine.

Molly steeled himself and jogged up the stairs, the movement pushing his thoughts aside. He entered his room, throwing his backpack into the corner, and fell onto the bed. Pulled out his phone. Looking for distractions. Bright and loud and interesting.

His lock screen revealed a continued lack of messages from Yasha. Nothing from the group chat either. Molly scoffed and unlocked his phone, smirking to himself at how disappointed he was. He never even checked the group chat, usually. Usually, it didn’t matter because he would see all their dumb asses at school, and talk to them, and make sure they were fine.

But now half the group was miles away, and the other half was falling apart over something Molly wasn’t privy to. And it wasn’t his shit to know; he respected that. He didn’t want to know. He just wanted to… He didn’t fucking know.

He sure as hell didn’t want to be sitting alone in his bedroom on a Friday night with his thoughts spinning. That could only lead to bad things. Had only ever led to bad things.

“I’m heading out!” Gustav’s voice sounded from downstairs. Right on cue, emphasizing Molly’s predicament because the world was a stage and life was a play and everything was so goddamned poetic.

“Good luck,” Molly shouted back, and he listened to the door open and close and then the house was quiet. Fuck.

Molly laid there for a moment, hearing the silence, trying to make peace with it. And then his limbs felt like they were buzzing, and he had to get up and move. Shit. Fuck. Damnit.

Molly rolled to his feet and shook his head to try and relieve some of the energy in his system. It had little effect, and his thoughts were going too fast, and Molly scrambled for his phone, quickly locating the showtunes playlist stored there and turning the volume all the way up.

His thoughts quieted ever so slightly as the songs began. Filling his mind with noise and melody and vibrance and stupid, beautiful lyrics that made him feel everything and nothing at all.

Molly started pacing, letting the noise try and drown out his racing mind. It was working, but slowly. Not fast enough. Molly shook out his hands, trying to dispel more of the excess energy. The buzzing thoughts. God, it wasn’t fucking working. Not like—

Molly stopped his brain and sat down on the edge of his bed, trying to still his racing heartbeat. No. He was alone for one night. He wasn’t going to fuck everything up because of one fucking night. He had strategies; he had systems. Granted, his strategies and systems usually involved one Yasha Nydorin, and she was definitively not here. But that didn’t mean Molly was allowed to dip into old habits. Yasha and the others had always been very, blatantly clear on that.

But he was losing his mind. Trapped in this house alone, with his music playing, and his thoughts playing louder and faster and worse.

Molly’s phone buzzed, and he jumped at it like a predator, a smile already halfway formed on his face. He didn’t even care if it was Yasha or one of the others. Fuck, even Beau would be a Godsend right now. He just needed someone to talk to, to make him feel real.

Molly’s smile faltered the moment he read the name, relief catching in his throat. What?

[Cree] 6:49- Hey Lucien, it’s been a minute, you doing anything rn?

He hadn’t spoken to Cree in, God, years now. He’d started getting closer to Yasha, and Cree and the others had just kind of fallen away when Molly got to Zadash High. Which was probably for the best, Molly admitted. They were… messy.

Which brought him to the question of why Cree was texting him after years of radio silence. Almost certainly, she needed something from him. So, very likely, it was a bad idea to message her back.

But Molly’s brain was still buzzing, and this was the most interesting thing happening in his life right now. It gave him something to focus on. To think about, to do. He typed his reply, hushing the voice in the back of his head that told him it was a mistake. He would be fine; he just had to be careful.

6:53- Not really, why?

[Cree] 6:53- Does there have to be a reason?

Molly smirked. He’d forgotten how full of shit she was. Snarky and scheming, like Beau sort of, but with more venom in her bite. He remembered this; he could still play this game.

6:54- With you, darling? Always

[Cree] 6:54- Smart ass

6:54- Thank you~

[Cree] 6:54- Don’t be a dick man, we miss you

An obvious lie. But her statement did reveal that Cree wasn’t alone; she was with the whole group, assuming everyone was still in contact. Which meant they were probably looking for drugs or drink or anything else they could get their hands on. Hm.

6:54- What can I do for you, Cree?

[Cree] 6:55- Just come hang out with ussssss, why are you being so weird??

Molly was tempted. He would be lying to himself if he said he wasn’t. Cree and the others were a riot, large and loud and distracting. And if he swooped in with something to get them shit-faced, he would be their fucking hero. Just like before.

And Gustav had to have at least something; it would go against everything Molly knew about the man if he didn’t. He could root around in Gustav’s room, take a little of whatever he found. Go shoot the shit with his old group for a night.

And then tomorrow, he could message Beau and Nott and Caleb, and Yasha would text him back and everything could go back to normal.

6:57- Yeah alright. Get your asses over here and pick me up, I still can’t drive

[Cree] 6:57- Learn to drive you dumbass

[Cree] 6:57- That deadbeat actor give you back yet?

Molly’s stomach dropped ever so slightly. He liked Gustav. He tried to shake off the dirty feeling in his stomach.

6:59- Not yet

[Cree] 6:59- We’ll be there in 20

Molly grinned and pushed himself off his bed, thundering down the stairs, music still blaring from his phone. He got to Gustav’s room and pushed open the door. Paused.

Gustav would kick him out if he found out Molly was rooting around in his shit. But Gustav was going to kick him out at some point anyways. Molly had hoped it would last a little longer, and maybe it would. Maybe Gustav wouldn’t find out for a while. Regardless, Molly getting sent back to the home was inevitable. Expediting the process wasn’t his favorite, but he would survive.

Molly stepped inside and started searching through drawers and dressers, trying not to displace anything too heavily. Eventually, he found what he sought. A small bag, hidden in the back of Gustav’s sock drawer. Score. Molly didn’t even particularly care what it was. If Gustav had it, it couldn’t be too dangerous. Molly pocketed the bag, and pushed the socks back into place, closing the drawer and exiting the room.

Fuck yeah.

He moved towards the kitchen. He should eat whatever was in the fridge or Gustav would suspect something. Would know Molly hadn’t been at home the whole night. Molly slid on socked feet, stopping in front of the fridge and opening it. He looked around, trying to find something that Gustav constituted as dinner. Eventually, he came across a Tupperware with some weird looking casserole. Had to be that.

Molly spun around on beat to his music and placed the Tupperware in the microwave. He hopped up on the counter, and kicked his feet against the cabinet, watching as the food spun.

There was another moment where his brain tried to convince him that what he was doing was a bad idea, but he ignored that. It was going to be fun. And harmless, as long as Molly was careful.

He pulled the Tupperware out of the microwave, grabbing a fork and shoving a bite of probably shitty casserole into his mouth. He inhaled deeply and swallowed. Yep, it was real bad.

Gustav was a lot of things, but he was definitively not a cook. The man barely cooked for himself—barely did anything for himself, truth be told. But every so often he’d emerge from the kitchen looking all fucking proud of himself and force Molly to try whatever the hell he’d made. And Molly didn’t have the heart to tell him it was shit. Because Gustav probably knew it was shit, and that wasn’t really the point of any of it.

A fond smile found its way to Molly’s face, bringing another twinge of uncertainty with it. He pushed it away, hopping down from the counter and dumping the casserole down the garbage disposal. There. Tracks covered.

Now he just had to be back by like 3:00 in the morning, before Gustav got home, and he would be golden.

He spent the next twenty minutes pacing the bottom floor of the house, listening to his music and anticipating Cree’s arrival. Finally, after what felt like years, there was a knock at the door.

It was fast and loud and excited, and a smile spread slowly across Molly’s face at the prospect of seeing his old friends again. He ran to the door and threw it open, and then Cree was on top of him, crushing him in a hug. Molly let out a laugh and picked her up, spinning her once, adrenaline pumping. It was good to see her. Good to have company. Good to be held, good to be excited, good to feel a little more whole.

After several moments, Molly pushed Cree off of him and looked at her. He hadn’t seen her in years, but she looked the same. Worryingly thin with deep brown skin, and hair cropped close to her skull. She had the same singular gold earring and the same maroon hoodie she would never grow into. She looked older, obviously. Maybe a bit more tired. But familiar in a way that quieted Molly’s twisting thoughts.

She seemed to be taking him in as well. She pulled at his hair and Molly winced for dramatic effect. “You grew this out,” she said. There was no judgement in her tone, just observation. “I like the purple.”

“Thank you, my lady.” Molly bowed.

“Dumbass,” she laughed, pulling him out of the house towards the small car waiting in the driveway. “We’re out of seats, so start deciding who you want to sit on.”

“You already know I’m gunna crush Otis,” Molly said with a smirk, locking the door behind them with the key Gustav had given him last month. He felt a little bad already using the key to sneak out, but honestly, what was Gustav expecting? Molly was a troubled foster kid. This was kind of the M.O.

He pushed the guilt from his mind and focused on the night ahead of him.

As they approached the car, he could hear the rest of the group start chanting his old name from inside, pounding on the roof. Molly laughed, and runway-strutted towards the car.

“Hello again, peasants,” he said, opening one of the back doors of the car. “Your king has returned to you.”

Chapter Text

Yasha lay on the hotel bed she was sharing with Jester, feet throbbing and mind blank. It felt like ages since she’d laid down, but she must have slept last night because she remembered waking up this morning. Regardless, her legs were aching, her head was just starting to hurt, and she was very ready to relax for the rest of the night. They’d have to venture back into the forest again tomorrow, but for now, they could rest, and that was a beautiful thing.

“Yashaaaaa,” Jester groaned from below, pitifully trying to kick her way out of her high-tops without lifting her head from the floor. She’d collapsed dramatically to the ground when they’d arrived and had yet to build up the energy to get up. “I can’t take my shoes off, Yashaaaa.”

“Hold on,” Yasha said with a fond smile, hauling herself to her feet before crouching beside Jester. She quickly untied her laces, before pulling the shoes off and throwing them into the corner.

“Thank youuu,” Jester said, half-heartedly trying to pat Yasha’s hand. It was much too far away, so it ended up being a sort of sad flailing in Yasha’s general direction, but the gesture was appreciated.

Yasha hummed, briefly squeezing Jester’s outstretched hand on her way back to the bed. She lay down, once again reveling in the luxury of being comfortable, before pulling out her phone for the first time in possibly days. There was a message from Molly, from yesterday.

[Molly] 4:59- hello lovely!! Hows your day going? give the others my love <3

Yasha smiled and checked the time. It would be about 8:00 in Zadash, Molly should be available to call, unless he and the others were doing something. But even then, he would probably pick up. It had been a few days since they’d gotten a chance to talk.

Yasha didn’t like it—being away from him. It made her nervous. But she was trying to trust the rest of the group to look after him, look after each other. They didn’t need her all the time. But still. She missed him, and it would be good to hear his voice.

“I’m going to try and call Molly,” Yasha said, giving Jester a heads up before dialing his number.

Jester let out a weak “woo!” from the floor but made no move to try and get up.

The phone rang several times, and Yasha was beginning to worry that Molly wasn’t going to pick up. Which meant he wasn’t on his phone, which meant that something was probably wrong because when was Molly not on his phone?

But he answered, and Yasha’s heart slowly returned to its normal pace.

“Yasha, darling!” His voice was loud and excited, and Yasha felt her face pull into a smile.

“Hello,” she said softly. “How are you doing?”

She heard voices in the background before Molly made a shushing sound.

“Oh, are you with the others?” Yasha said, trying to picture them all, probably at Gustav’s, maybe in Molly’s room, scattered around the floor. “Hey guys!”

“Oh, shut up,” Molly said to someone, before his attention returned to her. “Sorry about that, I’m heading to the car so I can actually fucking hear you.”

“You’re okay,” Yasha said. It was a bit odd that Molly felt the need to leave the group to talk to her, and weirder that the car was the place to go. Were they outside? It would be freezing in Zadash at this time of night. But it was good they were all spending time together, she supposed, even if they were making collectively poor decisions. She’d been worried that Molly would drift away from the others without her there. But it seemed like he was doing well. “What are you guys up to?”

“Oh, not much,” Molly said. She could practically hear the shrug in his voice. “What about you, lovely?”

“A million things, Molly!!” Jester yelled from the floor, finally sitting up. “It’s been so busy all the time, and I’m so tired, but it’s been pretty cool and stuff, you know?”

Molly laughed, and Yasha reveled in the sound. It felt like it had been such a long time since she’d heard him laugh.

“Hello Jester,” he said, voice filled with mirth. “Is Fjord there too?”

“Unfortunately, no,” Yasha said. “They’re pretty strict about the rooming situation over here. No boys allowed. It’s dumb.”

“Fair enough,” Molly hummed. “Bummer, though.”

Someone yelled in the background of Molly’s audio, and there was a pounding on the door. Probably Beau, Yasha smiled briefly before Molly spoke.

“Oh, fuck off,” Molly yelled, before muting himself.

Yasha glanced at Jester. That was weird. Molly wasn’t one to get mad. He would get annoyed, playfully bicker, especially with Beau, but she hadn’t heard him that genuinely irritated in years. Jester blinked at her, clearly picking up on something as well.

“It’s okay, Molly,” Yasha said softly, trying not to let her worry show through. “I’d love to say hello to everyone if they’re around.”

Had something happened? Why would Molly be upset with them? He’d clearly chosen to spend time with them tonight, right? If they were all together?

There was another moment of silence, where Molly’s audio remained muted, before his voice sounded once again.

“What was that, love?”

“Is everything okay?” Yasha asked carefully. “You sound upset.”

“Naw,” Molly said, far too confident. “I’m fine. The others are just being a bit annoying. But I’m okay! Promise.”

He was lying. Why was he lying to her? Maybe because Jester was here?

“Okay,” she said hesitantly. It was alright. She would check in with him after the call was done.

“Enough about me,” Molly said, his trademarked nonchalance showing through. “What have you been up to?”

And then Jester was off, seeming to have forgotten her concern in favor of excitedly recounting the past few days of their trip. As she continued ranting, Molly seemed to relax, listening and interjecting with his usual joking snark on occasion.

Yasha found herself relaxing as Molly did, allowing herself to be fully present for the conversation. Maybe it wasn’t anything bad. Maybe the others really had just been getting on Molly’s nerves without her there. She knew he and Beau had something of a rivalry going on, so maybe that was it.

Something about that didn’t sit right with her, though. It was better to check.

…

Beau was not having a good week. More accurately, yesterday and today had been a living hell, and that painted the whole fucking week in a bad light. Because she’d completely fucked up everything with Caleb, and now he was avoiding everyone, Nott would barely look at her, and Molly was being Molly.

And of course, being home for the weekend made everything worse. It was only Friday night, and she was already sick of being there. And their friend group was split into pieces, and it was her fucking fault, so there was no chance of escaping to see them for a day. And that made her want to scream.

But she didn’t because her dad was already yelling at her pregnant mother downstairs. And adding another voice to the fight wouldn’t do anyone any good. She’d tried that already.

Beau briefly considered sneaking out her window, because being here sucked, and being elsewhere sounded pretty fucking great right about now. She could carefully slide down the drainpipe and vanish into the night. But she didn’t know where she would go. Normally, she’d go to Jester’s, but Jester was very pointedly not here.

Beau rolled onto her stomach and felt her phone buzz in her pocket. A bolt of anxiety shot through her, as she pulled out her phone. What if it was Caleb? Or Nott telling her that he hated her? Or Molly asking questions again?

[Yasha] 10:15- Hey! Sorry to interrupt you guys, but I just want to confirm that Molly is with you? I’m probably just being paranoid, but…?

Beau’s anxiety spiked. What the hell? She closed the message and immediately texted Molly. She didn’t have the fucking energy to deal with his bullshit right now, but nobody else was going to. Familiar anger settled in to cover her nerves.

10:15- Hey where the FUCK are you?

Who the fuck did he think he was? Lying to Yasha and using Beau as an excuse, like she was just going to cover for him? And where the hell was he that he didn’t want Yasha—Yasha—to know?

[Molly] 10:16- ???

[Molly] 10:16- Wait fuck did Yasha text you

Beau snarled at her phone and forced herself to breathe. He was so—another message from Molly came in. God fucking damnit.

[Molly] 10:16- I don’t want to worry her, beau please

[Molly] 10:16- I promise I’m fine

Beau inhaled. She hated him. So fucking much.

10:17- Fine. You fucking owe me

[Molly] 10:17- For the rest of my life

[Molly] 10:17- Thank you thank you thank you

10:17- You better tell me what the fuck is going on right now

Beau closed her messages with Molly and texted Yasha back, confirming that Molly was in fact with her, and everything was fine. Both of which were a lie. And that fucking sucked because Yasha was Yasha, and she’d never done anything but be gentle and kind and take care of all of them and their damaged ass shit. And Beau didn’t want to lie to her. But she did it because fucking Molly was fucking right. Yasha shouldn’t be stressing out about anything on her trip; she deserved to relax and have a nice time. Beau could sort out whatever the fuck was going on with Molly.

And so, Beau waited for the fucker to respond. And waited. And waited. She texted him again because fuck that.

10:26- Molly

10:26- I’m not fucking around you dick, where are you???

…

Molly’s phone buzzed, and he laughed at something that Cree said because everyone else was laughing too. He should answer Beau because Beau would rat him out to Yasha if she felt like it, but everything was a bit fuzzy, and dealing with Beau sounded like a lot of effort right now.

But he should. Molly typed quickly.

10:30- Out with friends~

[Beau] 10:30- What fucking friends asshat

Molly sighed, and Otis grabbed the phone out of his hand with a cackle. Molly reached halfheartedly for the device, letting out a resigned groan as the rest of the group cheered, the sound echoing in the dark alleyway. Otis bowed dramatically, dancing back to her space against the wall and sitting down once again.

“Explain this. We haven’t seen you in years, and you’re spending all night on the phone with fucking Yasha, and now busy texting someone called,” Otis glanced down at the screen, eyebrows furrowing slightly as they tried to read. The night was cold, and clouds of steam escaped her lips as Otis spoke. “Beau?”

Tyffial let out an exaggerated gasp and moved closer to Otis, handing the joint they’d cobbled together from Gustav’s stash to Zoran. She leaned over Otis’ shoulder, reading the messages. Molly watched her face twist into confused disgust and tried to relax. It didn’t matter if they saw; they knew he had new friends now, knew he’d changed. Beau was being a shithead anyways, so fuck it. He didn’t care.

“Is Beau your boyfriend or something?” Tyffial asked, grabbing the phone out of Otis’ hands and tossing it to Cree and Zoran, sitting against the wall opposite of her, Otis, and Molly. “He sounds controlling as fuck. I say dump his ass.”

Molly chuckled. Beau was being a controlling bitch, wasn’t she? Molly opened his mouth to respond with something witty that he hadn’t thought of yet, but then his eyes fell to Cree.

She was looking down at the phone she’d caught, eyebrows furrowed in concern as she read the messages. Something in Molly’s gut clenched, and the retort died on his tongue. Cree had been his best friend; even with his mind foggy, he cared what she thought more than the rest.

“Who’s Molly?” Cree said softly, looking up at him with something like betrayal in her dark eyes as she passed the phone to Zoran. “Did you change your name?”

Oh. Right. That.

“Guess I did, yeah.” Molly shrugged, already trying to minimize the pain that Cree was displaying.

The group erupted in noise, screams of delight and anger and all sorts of complicated, inebriated emotions echoing in the night sky. Tyffial might have started crying, Molly wasn’t totally sure. His eyes were on Cree.

“Wait, why?” Zoran yelled above the commotion, quieting the others as a cloud of smoke billowed from his mouth.

“Pronoun check?” Otis took advantage of the silence and clambered over to Molly. They ended up directly in front of him, curly hair barely covering the excitement in his eyes.

“Oh, that’s very close,” Molly leaned backwards a bit, pressing against the wall behind him to avoid a lapful of Otis. “He/him-ish? I don’t really care, to be honest.”

“So, why’d you change it then?” Zoran asked again, clearly bored with this new line of conversation. He reached across the alley and passed the joint back to a sniffling Tyffial.

“I dunno,” Molly said, trying to be nonchalant, even as Cree stared. “Felt like it didn’t suit me anymore.”

“Luci-” Cree stopped, glanced down at her hands, before looking back up at Molly. “Why didn’t you tell us?”

She didn’t say “me”, but she might as well have. Molly swallowed.

“Didn’t talk much anymore, I suppose,” Molly huffed a sort of laugh. “Figured I could be Lucien for a night, avoid ruffling feathers.”

“Feathers have been ruffled,” Tyffial said, wiping desperately at runny makeup.

“Why are you fucking crying right now? It doesn’t even matter.” Zoran scowled at her; eyebrow raised in obvious annoyance. Tyffial wailed, and Zoran yelled back, and Otis scrambled to sit between the two in the center of the alley, joining in the chaos.

While the three were distracted, Cree crept over to Molly. Molly felt his stomach churning, and he reminded himself, with a voice that sounded a lot like Yasha, that he didn’t owe Cree anything. They weren’t even really friends anymore, but they kind of were. Just for this night. And that made things complicated and emotional. Damnit.

“You could have told me,” Cree said softly, placing herself beside him and tucking her knees to her chest. She glanced at Molly briefly before her eyes fell to the cold concrete they sat on. “I don’t mean before tonight; I know we’ve kind of lost touch. But tonight. You could have said something.”

“Easier not to,” Molly said with a shrug. Nonchalant. He didn’t say that it was strange that they all knew. How it felt wrong, like the name was being contaminated. Twisted.

Cree simply hummed, but Molly could see pain behind her eyes. He tried to ignore it; he didn’t need his old bonds complicating things. Even if they sort of already had. Molly ignored that little detail and turned away from Cree ever so slightly to address the rest of the group.

“Hey, fuckers!” he said, forcing bravado as per his usual. “Give me back my fucking phone!”

Zoran yelled at him and threw the phone back across the alley, and Otis ran over, shoving herself between Cree and Molly, jostling them both. Cree let out a startled half-laugh, and Molly threw an arm around Otis dramatically, pulling them close and digging his knuckles into their hair.

Things settled out into some semblance of what it had been after that. His old friends shared stories of what he’d missed, and he gave away very little information about his new life. Otis had too much energy. Zoran was done with all of their shit. Tyffial shifted between giggling and crying on a dime. And they all pretended to be having a lot more fun than they actually were. And Molly played right along.

The only thing that changed was Cree. She sat, quieter, far more subdued than she had been. Molly could feel her gaze drifting between the ground and Molly and the rest of her friends, then back to the ground again. Every so often, she would laugh, or make a comment, trying to contribute. But she was a shell of the person she’d been at the beginning of the night.

Molly didn’t look at her, outside of his periphery. Because it would hurt, to see what he’d done. And maybe that was stupid because he hadn’t really done anything. This was supposed to be fun, and Cree had no right to be this upset. They weren’t even friends anymore. Mostly.

Molly shoved his thoughts away and motioned for Zoran to hand over the joint.

Finally, around 1:00, Molly pushed himself to his feet. He had to get home. Gustav wasn’t off until 3:00, but there was always a possibility he would get off early. Or Zoran would refuse to drive him home, and he’d have to walk. Regardless, Molly didn’t want to cut it too close.

“It’s that time of night, peasants,” he said dramatically. “I either need you fucks to drop me off, or I need to start walking.”

“Walk,” Zoran grunted, even as he stood and tugged at Tyffial’s jacket to pull her to her feet. “Come on.”

Tyffial let out a wail, but grabbed onto Zoran’s arm and allowed him to lead her towards the parking lot. Otis stood immediately and took off towards the car, yelling “shotgun” at the top of his lungs, like she thought that was going to stop Molly from sitting on her.

“Thank you, thank you!” Molly drummed his fingers on Zoran’s back as the rest of the group followed Otis towards Zoran’s car.

“Stop,” Zoran shot a glare back at Molly, and Molly raised his hands in surrender with a smirk. Zoran’s glare deepened, and he opened his mouth to say something undoubtedly hurtful before he was interrupted.

“Unlock your damn car!” Otis called from the parking lot, clearly out of breath. Zoran glanced over at Otis and grunted something unintelligible before picking up his pace, pulling Tyffial along with him.

Molly’s smirk turned into an amused chuckle. And then Cree entered his periphery, falling into step beside him. His stomach dropped.

“It’s been really good to see you,” she said softly, nudging his shoulder with her own. “I miss you, you know. It’s hard to wrangle these assholes by myself.”

“Seems like you’ve managed fine,” he smiled and nudged her back, still not looking directly at her. There was a moment of silence before Cree spoke again.

“We should do this again sometime.”

Molly’s stomach twisted. Shit.

This was a one night thing. Because these people were messy. Judging and demanding and volatile. They brought out parts of Molly that he didn’t like seeing. His new friends had shown him that. Shown him that he could be better if he wanted to be.

But where the hell were they? Hiding shit from him and/or on a trip, miles away.

His old crew had been good for him tonight. Given him something to do, something to focus on. Kept him from doing something stupid.

“We’ll see,” Molly said, finally glancing over at Cree for a moment, giving her a slight smile.

“I’ll take that,” Cree smiled back, and wrapped an arm through Molly’s as they caught up with the others.

Chapter Text

The drive back to Gustav’s was uneventful, which Molly supposed was a blessing. He’d ended up in the backseat with Tyffial, Cree shoved unceremoniously between them. Because Otis had yelled at Molly when he’d tried to join them in their spot, and it had been funny, but there was honest anger there. So, Molly was squished in the backseat.

Tyffial had fallen asleep about three minutes into the drive, head resting against Cree’s shoulder, and it had been basically silent since then. Zoran was stoic, simply watching the empty roads ahead of him as he drove. Otis’ eyes scanned the dark streets out the window, surprisingly silent outside of occasionally rapping her fingers against the car door.

And Molly and Cree sat side by side, thighs and shoulders pressed against each other, not talking.

It was nostalgic, in a way the rest of the night hadn’t been, and Molly was almost disappointed when Zoran turned onto the street where Gustav’s house sat. But it was good that he was going home. Gustav couldn’t know about this.

As that simple truth recentered itself in Molly’s mind, Zoran’s car pulled into the driveway and Molly had to leave. He inhaled, ready to bid his companions goodbye, but he was interrupted by Zoran in the front seat.

“Lucien, who the fuck is that?” He asked, squinting at something on the porch.

Molly looked over and saw a familiar form, sitting, hunched over, illuminated by the car’s headlights. She looked up, and Molly’s stomach dropped.

Beau.

Beau was here. And he hadn’t messaged her back in three hours. Fuckkkk.

“Just a friend,” Molly said, forcing a smile as he opened the car door and got out. This was not going to be pretty, but there was no need to concern these half-friends. Not that they would really care, anyways.  “Thanks for the ride. I’ll see you guys around.”

Molly closed the car door, cutting off his old friends’ goodbyes, and briefly made eye contact with Cree through the window. She looked worried. Molly winked at her, trying to project his usual cool confidence through the glass. But Cree had always been better than the others at seeing through his bullshit.

Before Molly could do anything else, Zoran started backing up, and Molly stepped away from the car, something in his stomach spinning as the relative safety of his old group drove away. He gave them a halfhearted wave, before turning to face the girl on his porch.

He inhaled slowly. This was fine. It was just Beau. Except that, when Molly turned, she was moving towards him. Very quickly. Fuck.

He raised his hands in surrender, trying to smooth things over as he backed away. “Beau, I’m an idiot, I know. Listen-”

And then she punched him.

Molly fell back, ass stinging as it hit the cold pavement. Fucking hell.

“Yeah, alright,” Molly said, rubbing at his jaw as he carefully opened his mouth, testing the functionality. Ow.

“Where the hell have you been? And who the fuck were they?” Beau spat, eyes shining as she glared down at him. Had she been crying? What the fuck?

“I told you,” Molly said, pushing himself off the ground. He smiled because she’d just punched him, and he was an asshole and it felt good to push back. “Out with friends. Those were the friends.”

“But who were they?” Beau yelled, gesturing wildly. “None of us have any fucking friends.”

“Maybe I do, ever think of that?” Molly asked, pushing past Beau to unlock the door. It was fucking cold, and he wanted to be inside. “Anyways, I’m pretty sure you’ve got bigger shit to worry about than what I’m doing on a Friday night.”

It was a low blow. He knew that, but it was kind of true. Whatever had gone down on Thursday must be more important than this, right? She should go deal with that instead of pushing her way into Molly’s fucking business

“Fuck off, Molly,” Beau growled at him, but followed him inside when he held the door for her to come in. “You can’t just stop responding to my fucking messages.”

Her voice broke on that last curse, and a hint of guilt dropped into Molly’s stomach. He knew why she was here, panicking on his porch. And he was, in fact, a dick for not responding, based on his track record. Especially with Yasha gone, there was no telling what he might do at any given moment. He’d gone with his old friends to avoid all of that, but Beau didn’t have any way to know that. Damn it.

Molly inhaled and opened his mouth to apologize, but the words sat heavy in his throat, and he couldn’t force them out. He hoped his silence communicated his shame sufficiently, or at least gave Beau some petty satisfaction. She deserved that.

“Fuck, man.” Beau exhaled, sliding down the wall of the entryway to sit on the wooden floor. She looked small, sitting there with her knees pulled up to her chest.

“What’s going on, Beau?” Molly asked, easily changing the topic as he moved to lean against the wall beside her. He kicked at her hip lightly, trying to reestablish some sense of stability between them. Beau swatted at his foot with her hand, and Molly smiled slightly.

He waited for her to say something, smile dropping from his face the more time that passed.

But Beau didn’t respond. Because of course she didn’t. Why would she? It wasn’t for Molly to know; she’d told him that already. But God, after spending the night with Cree and the others? Something about it burned.

“Alright then,” Molly pushed himself off the wall, and moved to the front door, opening it with a flourish. “Thanks for stopping by. I’m going the fuck to bed.”

“Are you fucking kidding?” Beau scoffed, eyes red.

“Unfortunately, no,” Molly gestured for Beau to leave with a flick of his wrist and a smile.

“Fuck you,” Beau growled and stood, shoulder-checking Molly as she stormed out of the house into the cold.

“Have a nice night, darling,” Molly called after her with a dramatic bow. He was being shitty. He knew that. But he was tired, and Beau was being shitty too, so what did he care?

Molly watched Beau leave, expecting her to react to his bullshit. Expecting her to acknowledge him, something to confirm that they would be okay eventually. Because that’s how this worked. They wound each other up until someone exploded and then picked up the pieces. As long as there were pieces to pick up, they would be fine.

But Beau just kept walking. Didn’t flip him off, didn’t shout back. Just stormed away, hands shoved into her pockets, breath leaving billowing clouds in her wake.

Molly’s stomach dropped. He’d gone too far. Of course, he had. That’s what he fucking did.

Molly closed the door and locked it.

He walked slowly to the stairs and hauled himself up them, everything in him going numb as his mind emptied. Thoughts blank. Events of the night distant and unimportant.

He entered his bedroom and laid down on his stomach, slowly pushing his face into the cushions. It was a little hard to breathe, but the darkness was comforting. Maybe he would suffocate in his sleep.

The house key in his pocket dug into his thigh and Molly emptied his pockets, placing everything on the nightstand, before returning to the pillows and allowing the darkness to consume him.

He struggled to inhale.

Time passed.

…

Molly blinked open his eyes, head pounding and mouth dry. Light was pouring through his shitty blinds, and his body felt heavy, liked he’d slept for way too long. What time was it?

With a faint groan, Molly rolled over, reaching for his phone on the nightstand. He tapped the screen, but nothing happened. Fuck.

Molly pulled his charger from where it had fallen to the floor and plugged in the device, rolling back into the center of the bed. For a while, he tried to go back to sleep. But the light coming in from outside was too bright, his clothes from the night before suddenly felt filthy against his skin, and his mind was slowly bringing details of the night before back into place.

Molly pushed his thoughts away. He didn’t want to deal with any of that shit. He needed a shower.

Molly sat up, and his headache immediately flared. He squeezed his eyes shut for a moment, before forcing himself to stand. Advil. Advil and then shower.

Slowly, Molly made his way down the stairs to the kitchen. Gustav’s makeshift medicine cabinet, and Molly’s salvation, was above the fridge.

To Molly’s surprise, Gustav was already in the kitchen when Molly entered, leaning against the counter with his phone tucked between his ear and his shoulder, as he stirred a cup of coffee with a spoon. He gave Molly a nod in greeting and continued his conversation.

“No, I get that,” he said, before waiting for a moment. “I work at 2:00, or I would help. Ornna’s not around?”

Molly tuned him out for the time being, turning his attention back to his mission. He pulled himself onto the kitchen counter and reached up to open the cabinet above the fridge, retrieving the Advil before hopping back down.

“I could ask him,” Gustav said, eyes flicking to Molly for a moment. Molly raised an eyebrow, shaking a few pills into his hand before popping them in his mouth and swallowing. “Yeah, he just woke up.”

“What’s up?” Molly asked quietly, jumping up to sit on the counter again. Gustav held up a finger, and Molly shut up.

“Yeah, I’ll get back to you in a few minutes,” he said. Waited. “Okay. Talk to you soon. Bye.”

Gustav dropped his phone into his hand and gave Molly a tired smile. “Morning, kid. You alright?” He nodded to the still open Advil bottle on the counter.

“Headache,” Molly shrugged. “Who was that?”

“Bo,” Gustav said, taking a sip of his coffee. “Needs someone to look after Toya today. Apparently, someone booked a big event last minute and his manager wants him to come in ‘til it’s handled. But Ornna’s got shows all day, and Kylre’s on a trip or something.”

“So, that’s on me then?” Molly said, raising an eyebrow with a smirk.

“If you don’t mind?” Gustav said with a slight wince. “Sorry, kid. I can pay you for it.”

“Nah,” Molly said, sliding off the counter. It would give him something to do, at the very least. Help him ignore everything else in his miserable fucking existence. “Toya’s cool. I was just giving you shit.”

“Hm,” Gustav smiled into his mug before taking another sip. There were a few moments of silence, and Molly’s skin started crawling again.

“Well, I’m gunna shower,” Molly said, starting to move back towards the stairs.

“Wait, hold up one second,” Gustav said, setting his coffee on the counter and standing up a bit straighter. Molly paused, turning back to Gustav. He looked… nervous?

Molly felt a small tug of anxiety in the back of his mind.

“I’ve been wanting to talk to you ‘bout something. Kind of important.” Gustav said, a hand coming up to scratch at the back of his neck.

Molly’s stomach dropped, dread curling through him as his body turned cold. Gustav knew. He’d already noticed his stash was gone. Knew Molly had been gone all night, getting high with his stupid fucking old crew. He was so fucked.

Gustav opened his mouth to say something else, and Molly’s heart spiked.

“Can it wait?” Molly blurted, almost involuntarily.

He’d known. He’d known this was coming, but now that the moment was here, he didn’t want it. He didn’t want to leave. Gustav’s place felt more like home than anywhere he’d ever been, and he couldn’t—fuck, he couldn’t leave. He was a fucking idiot for taking Gustav’s shit, for sneaking out when Gustav had trusted him with a key, for everything that had happened last night. And he’d fucked it all up for what? One fucking night with people he didn’t even care about because he couldn’t be alone for more than five minutes without losing his fucking mind? God, he was so stupid.

“Sorry. I just really want to take a shower,” Molly said weakly, cutting off his thoughts to try and handle the situation at hand.

It was a stupid excuse, and they both knew it. Gustav’s eyebrows furrowed. Molly’s throat tightened, and he suppressed the urge to shake his hands out. His skin was buzzing.

“I mean…” Gustav blinked a few times, clearly thrown off by Molly’s refusal. “Yeah. Yeah, no worries. Just… Let me know when you have a second, yeah?”

“Sure.” Molly nodded, and turned, running to the stairs before Gustav could change his mind.

He beelined for the bathroom and locked himself inside, breathing heavily as he slammed his back against the door.

The moment he was alone, tears sprung to his eyes, and he shook his hands out, violently and quickly as he gasped, trying to fill his lungs with air. Trying to rid himself of the sickly, buzzing in his skin. He couldn’t fucking do this right now. It was too much, and his body was screaming, and everything had gone to hell so fucking quickly.

On instinct, he reached for a drawer in the bathroom, digging through the contents. Items clattered to the floor as he desperately searched, only for his fingers to stall as his memory returned. He didn’t have it anymore. He’d given it to Yasha months ago.

Fuck. Fuck. He needed it. He couldn’t fucking do this.

Tears ran down his cheeks as he hyperventilated, mind vicious and skin crawling.

Without the tool he needed, Molly simply dug his fingernails into his arms, tearing along the ridges of long-healed scars that littered his skin, as fast as he possibly could, until his skin burned. Until the buzzing died, and his silent sobs were more from pain than anything else.

He wasn’t sure how much time passed, but eventually, slowly, Molly’s mind came back to him.

He’d ended up sitting on the floor of the bathroom. His arms were red and raw, and there was blood beneath his fingernails.

Molly slowly pulled himself to his feet, looking at himself in the mirror, at the hundreds of scars along his arms, at the new scabs forming. Guant and shaking like a fucking leaf.

He wasn’t supposed to do this. He was supposed to have other ways to quiet the crawling of his skin, his racing thoughts. But none of them worked like this did.

Molly ran a hand through his hair, a tired smile unconsciously forming on his face, like he was performing for his own reflection. He was alright. Back in control and steadier. The buzzing was gone, his mind was empty. So, there was no use dwelling on this fuck up. He was alright.

Molly nodded to himself and began stripping so he could finally wash yesterday’s filth from his skin.

…

Toya kicked her legs against the back of her dad’s seat absent mindedly, hands bunched in her skirt, looking up out the window. It was sunny outside. That was nice. It had been kind of cloudy yesterday, and Toya liked the sunshine much better.

She was going to see Molly today! Which was really fun! Even though it was kind of sad that she didn’t get to see Papa, when she was supposed to see Papa all day on Saturdays.

He was working today, all of the sudden.

But it was okay! Because usually Kylre watched her when Papa and Mama were busy, but he was gone. So, she got to see Molly! And Molly was a lot more fun than Kylre. She was excited to spend all day with him until Papa was ready to come get her again.

The car went over a big bump for the driveway and stopped, and Toya knew that they were at Molly’s house. She bounced excitedly in her seat, unclicking her seatbelt, and opening the car door as soon as they were fully stopped.

Papa told her to slow down, since he hadn’t even turned the car off yet, but she didn’t listen. She crawled out of the car and ran to the front door, standing up on her tippy toes to reach the doorbell. She heard it ring inside the house, and she bounced on her toes, waiting for someone to come answer.

Finally, after what felt like ages, she could see Molly coming towards the door through the side window. She wanted to press her face against the window, to make sure that he could see her. But she knew that would be bad, so she stood there, almost shaking with excitement.

Papa came to stand behind her, and gently pulled her against his side, ruffling her hair a little bit. She leaned against his legs and looked up at the door as it opened.

“Molly!!” She yelled, running at him as soon as the door was open. She jumped up, and he picked her up and spun her around, exactly like she liked. She laughed, and Molly was laughing too, and it was fun.

Kylre never wanted to spin her anymore.

“You’re so big!” Molly said as he put her down, ruffling her hair and smiling at her. He had a good smile, she thought. It made him look so friendly and nice.

“Thank you,” Toya said, curtseying very politely because manners were important.

“Thanks for doing this Molly,” Papa said, still in the doorway. “She loves seeing you.”

“Well, I love seeing her too, so that works out nicely!” He winked at her, and she giggled.

“I’ll be back as soon as I can, and I’ll get you some cash on my way back, yeah?” Papa said, starting to step away back towards the car.

“Thanks, Bo, but you really don’t have to do that.”

Toya frowned. Papa was leaving. She had to get a goodbye hug before he left. Toya stepped towards her dad and paused. On second thought, she didn’t want to be annoying, and Kylre thought that goodbye hugs were annoying.

She blinked at her Papa as he moved down the sidewalk. That was sad. But she would see him later, so she tried not to be too sad.

Suddenly, he stopped, and turned back around.

“I almost forgot!” He kneeled and opened his arms, and Toya beamed, running at him and jumping into his arms. “Sorry, sweetheart! Papa’s running late and his thoughts are all scrambled.”

“That’s okay!” Toya said, squeezing as tight as she could. “Goodbye!”

“Bye bye!” He pressed a kiss to her head and stood up again. “I’ll see you soon, okay?”

“Okay!” Toya waved at him and ran back to Molly inside the house.

She was happy she got her hug, and now she could have fun with Molly, and everything was good.

“Alright, kiddo,” Molly said, closing the door behind her and kneeling down so they were eye-to-eye. “What should we do today?”

Chapter Text

Beau hadn’t slept. Which she knew was probably why everything felt so much worse than it had the night before, but that was fucking stupid. And way too logical for the mesh of fury and fear twisting in her stomach, feelings toppling over each other and fighting to be on top. Because everything in her life turned into a fucking fight for some reason.

But she had a right to be pissed or scared or whatever the fuck. Because Molly hadn’t responded to her messages yet. And that was fucked up, after everything that had just happened.

She’d texted him minutes after leaving his place, because she realized that she was being a raging dick. Granted, Molly was also being a raging dick, but she’d already lost one friend in the past two days. Fuck, maybe two, depending on how things progressed with Nott. The point was, she wasn’t about to lose another because of some petty argument and her emotional incompetency.

But Molly hadn’t responded. Which seemed fine, at the time. He had said he was going to bed, so that’s where he was, and he was fine.

Except now it was 2:00 pm on Saturday and Molly really should have woken the fuck up by now. And seen her message and responded. But he hadn’t. Because he was the fucking worst.

And that was the only reason Beau was currently entertaining. Because fuck that. He was fine. He had to be fine.

Beau sat up in bed. Angrily scrolled back through their conversation for the millionth time, trying to glean more information somehow. As if she hadn’t been reading the messages all fucking night.

Who the fuck were these people? It was fine if Molly had other friends—good on him—but he’d never talked about them before. And if they really were just some random friends, why was he being so dodgy about it? And why didn’t he want Yasha—his best fucking friend— to know? There had to be something wrong with them, right?

Maybe Beau should tell Yasha what had happened.

Of course, that would directly violate Molly’s trust, which was not ideal since she’d already fucked things up so bad, and he was ignoring her. But maybe the situation called for it? If it meant Molly would be better off in the long run?

But then, how could she bend over backwards trying to keep Caleb’s secret, and then turn around and stab Molly in the back? That would be pretty fucking shitty of her.

Beau ran a hand down her face and groaned. Why was everything suddenly so complicated? It had only been two days since she’d fucked all this up, and it was starting to feel like she was drowning. Which really didn’t seem fair because she was the one screwing with everybody else’s lives.

Pull yourself together, Lionett. Jesus.

She just had to stay calm, and Molly would respond eventually. Because he fucking had to.

Beau checked the time again, folded her legs underneath her. Unfolded them. Stood up, paced the room, collapsed back onto the bed.

He’d better.

…

Molly watched Toya kick her legs against the kitchen cabinets as she happily chipped away at the baggie of carrots he’d given her to snack on.

She’d only been over for an hour, but she was already such a welcome distraction from Molly’s shitshow life. She was simple and happy, in a way that only kids were. Made Molly ache to know about his own childhood. Although, he knew it couldn’t be pretty, based on… well, everything he knew about his past, really. Molly pushed that line of thought away.

He didn’t need that shit, and the panic he’d felt earlier in the morning had died down a bit, so long as he didn’t think on it for too long. Gustav had left for work. He was working a mid-shift, so he’d be back a bit earlier tonight, but Molly had probably delayed his departure from Gustav’s by at least a day.

So, that was good, and everything was fine, and he could focus on Toya and keeping her happy and entertained. His usual song and dance. Easy.

It had been a while since Molly’d seen her. Bo and Ornna typically had her handled, between themselves and Kylre. But she was a sweet kid, and Molly was glad she was here.

She stared back at him while she ate her carrots.

“It’s fun that Gustav lets you sit on the counter,” she said with comical seriousness, patting the counter he’d placed her on earlier.

“I suppose it is, yeah,” Molly said, equally seriously. “Your folks don’t like you on the counters, huh?”

“No,” Toya frowned. “They think I’ll fall and die, I think. But I won’t.”

“Oh, of course not! That would be silly of you!” Molly failed to mention that he was leaning against the fridge specifically so he’d be in catching distance if something went horribly wrong.

“Exactly!” Toya shoved her last carrot into her mouth, and Molly barely contained a laugh.

“Don’t choke,” he said, pushing himself off the wall he’d been leaning on and moving over to her.

She lifted her arms expectantly, and Molly hauled her off the counter and onto the floor. She was probably big enough to get down on her own, but she seemed to like being held, and Molly was happy to oblige.

“What’s next?” He asked, following Toya as she moved towards the stairs. “Wanna play a game or something? Watch a movie?”

Toya spun excitedly to look at him, socks sliding on the hardwood floor, mouth open wide to respond, before she seemed to stop herself. Contained her excitement.

“Could we please play a game?” She spoke calmly and wrung her hands together in front of her.

“Of course, my lady!” He smiled down at her and bowed dramatically, putting on a show, even as a bit of unease dropped in his stomach. Toya had never been too crazy, when they’d seen each other, but she could be loud and excitable and everything that kids usually were. He didn’t remember her being this nervous. Restraining herself like that.

Molly blinked and tried to focus back in the moment. It was probably nothing. She’d just grown up a bit, did things a bit differently now.

He reached out his hand, refreshing his smile to make sure it was clear of his concern, and Toya moved towards him to take it. He led her up the stairs to a closet where Gustav kept his games. There weren’t many, and a lot of them were drinking games, but Molly knew he had at least a few for kids. The man had looked after Toya plenty of times before Molly had even gotten here.

“Take your pick!” Molly gestured to the games, fairly sure that Toya wouldn’t be drawn to any of the more adult games, with their less exciting boxes.

“Any of them?” Toya looked up at him for permission.

“Any that aren’t boring,” Molly said with a wink, trying to put her at ease.

Despite his efforts, Toya nodded seriously, and started looking over her options, treating this task with all the urgency of an open-heart surgery. It would be endearing if there wasn’t the faintest trace of concern lingering in the back of Molly’s mind.

Finally, after a few minutes, she pulled out Twister, clearly a bit nervous.

“Is this good?” Her big blue eyes stared up at him, and Molly immediately knelt down, putting a hand on her little shoulder. He hated this hesitation from her. She was just a kid. Not even 10, if he was remembering right. He had to lighten her mood, make her feel more comfortable.

“Yes. Well done commander,” he said seriously, giving her a stoic nod of approval to lean into the role.

She looked relieved for a split second before putting on a similarly serious face and nodding back, going along with his bit. Molly held her gaze, and they just stared at each other for a few moments, nodding back and forth.

Eventually, Toya’s face started to twitch. She was trying not to laugh, and Molly’s chest warmed. That was better. After a sufficient waiting period, Molly reached forward and tapped her nose, maintaining his serious exterior. This was enough to break her, and she giggled, allowing herself to return to her excitement.

“Okay, let’s go!” Toya said, not waiting for a response before taking off back down the stairs. “We can play in the living room!”

There we go. Molly hauled himself up and jogged down the stairs after her, a faint smile crossing his face. It was probably fine. Molly didn’t have much experience with kids, and Toya had great parents, according to Gustav at least, so this was probably just normal Toya behavior. Molly was just paranoid.

Molly made it down the stairs and rounded the corner into the living room, where Toya was already struggling to unfold the large colorful mat, game box open beside her.

“You got fast, kiddo!” He took the mat from her hands and stood up, shaking the thing out and laying it down, spreading it evenly on the floor.

“Thank you,” Toya said, spinning the spinner while she waited patiently for Molly to be done.

Once it was settled, Molly sat down beside Toya and took the spinner from her hands with a mischievous grin. She pouted for a moment before looking up at his expression, and her pout dropped into a smile.

“I’m gunna be in charge of this thing,” Molly said, knowing it might be hard for the young girl to both control the spinner and get her limbs where they needed to go. “I don’t want to beat you too bad.”

Toya gasped and stood up, glaring down at him. “You won’t!”

“Big talk,” Molly said with a smirk, flicking the spinner. It landed on a red hand, and he held it up to show Toya. “You want to back it up?”

Toya grinned and slammed her hand down on a circle. And they were off.

Unsurprisingly, Molly’s longer limbs were somewhat of an advantage over the small girl, but she bested him in pure, fiery determination. And that was extremely entertaining.

Every instruction was followed with cold, hard precision. And when that wasn’t enough, she started very subtly trying to shove Molly’s hands and legs off of the spots. And the girl had the audacity to pretend it was accidental. It was adorable, and Molly respected the hustle immensely.

But, after a half hour, and several rounds—most of which Molly allowed her to win—Molly was fucking sore. He was pretty flexible, in comparison to the three other teenaged boys that he regularly interacted with, but god. It had been a rough night and a rough morning, and it was catching up to him.

He half-heartedly lost a few more rounds because Toya was ecstatic, and truly that was all he wanted, but eventually, he had to tap out.

“Okay, how about,” he said, panting after he collapsed onto the mat for the final time, careful to avoid squishing the child. “I do the spinner, and you can do cool tricks, and I’ll give you scores.”

Toya bounced on her knees excitedly, already nodding.

“But you still have to follow the instructions. And be careful!” Molly added with a slightly panicked laugh, as the girl sprung to her feet, and started trying to do a cartwheel in the living room.

“Oh. Sorry,” Toya said quickly, abandoning the cartwheel immediately. Her excitement dulled, and Molly quickly shook his head. Shit.

“No, it’s okay! I just don’t want you to get hurt!” Molly dragged himself off of the mat, and moved to her, giving her what he hoped was an encouraging smile. “Because I care about you.”

“Okay,” Toya said with a little nod. She didn’t look at him for more than a second, and her momentum had died, but she gave him a small smile. So maybe it wasn’t hopeless.

“Chin up, kiddo. I’m not upset, I promise!” Molly ruffled her hair to try and up her energy before he moved over to the couch, sitting on the edge and leaning forward. Presenting as engaged and excited as he possibly could. “You ready?”

Toya nodded slowly, and Molly flicked the spinner with as much flair as he could put into the action.

“Left foot on green!”

His theatrics earned him a smile, and Toya paused for a moment, thinking. And then she performed a surprisingly put together pirouette. She planted her foot onto the circle and looked to him for approval.

“Alright,” Molly said, giving her a small round of applause. “We’re starting strong. That’s gotta be a solid 8.5/10.”

“What?” Toya raised up her arms in supposed anger, but there was still a smile on her face. Molly smiled. That was much better. “That was perfect!”

“Could do with sound effects, I think,” Molly said, a bit of a challenge in his voice.

And they continued on, Toya coming up with increasingly chaotic “tricks” to do for each command Molly gave her. It was fun, and Molly spent another half hour laughing at Toya’s antics and giving her scores, watching her play and sing and dance.

“Right hand green,” Molly said, starting off a new round after Toya had fallen in a noble attempt to somersault while keeping her hands planted where they were. He wasn’t sure how she thought that was going to work, but she’d given it a shot, and he respected it.

“Okay,” Toya said, hopping slightly in preparation for whatever she was going to do. “Watch this!”

She planted her hand down on a green dot, and kicked her legs up, doing a hand stand for about a second. Molly, leaned forward, ready to move in case she started toppling somewhere dangerous, and then her shirt slipped slightly, and Molly’s heart stopped beating.

She collapsed and quickly pulled her shirt down with the hand she wasn’t resting on the green circle, looking over at Molly expectantly, waiting for her score.

Molly inhaled, desperately trying to pull himself back into focus.

“Pretty sweet,” he forced a smile. “Solid 9, I think!”

“Yay!” Toya shouted, kicking her legs excitedly. “What’s next?”

“One sec, kiddo. I’m just gunna go to the bathroom really quick,” Molly stood up from the couch. Made his voice light. “Don’t you dare move that hand or you’re out!”

Toya nodded dutifully, and Molly walked to the guest bathroom, much closer than going all the way upstairs. Closed the door and locked it. Tried to breathe.

It was just for a second, but he swore to God he’d seen…

There had to be some kind of explanation, right? He was jumping to conclusions. Maybe she was in sports, or just a clumsy kid. Other kids could be picking on her.

There were a million reasons she could have bruises on her back.

But all of his reservations about her behavior began clicking into place, and he hated the picture he was painting in his head. Fuck, he hoped he was wrong.

He had to tell someone. Bo? He seemed nice enough, and if she was just getting bullied by other kids, he’d probably be able to do something about it. But there was a lingering fear at the back of Molly’s mind, and Molly’s trust for the man was flimsy at best. Probably because he was fucking traumatized. But if Bo was a part of the problem, and Molly told him, things could get much, much worse for Toya. And Molly could not allow that.

He could just ask Toya directly, he supposed. If it was kids picking on her, or someone else, or what had happened. There might be a perfectly reasonable explanation for the marks, but if he was right… If someone was telling her to keep it quiet, asking her about it might scare her. Might push her away. And he wanted her to trust him, feel safe here. Fuck.

Dread settled in Molly’s stomach. That left Gustav. Molly didn’t really want to talk to him, but the man might be able to do something. He knew Toya’s parents well, after all. Might be able to pick up any signs or weird behaviors from them.

Molly placed a hand on his chest and tried to stop his racing heartbeat. He had to go with the safest option for Toya. That was all that mattered.

He would tell Gustav, tonight, when he got back. After Bo picked up Toya.

Anxiety churned in Molly’s stomach at the thought of the girl going home, but he swallowed and tried to pull himself together. He had a plan, and right now he had to go back out there and take care of this kid. She needed him. He could deal with everything else later.

To cover his lie, Molly flushed the toilet, and washed his hands. He took one more deep breath, smiled at himself in the mirror, and stepped back out into the hallway, quickly finding his way back to the living room where Toya was waiting, hand still planted firmly on the green circle.

“Swear I didn’t move!” She said as soon as she saw him, bouncing on her knees a little. Molly’s throat tightened. She was so fucking young.

“Are you sure?” He teased, squinting at her suspiciously, pushing his thoughts even further into the corners of his mind. He was happy, carefree Molly. Everything was fine.

“I pinkie promise!” The young girl said, holding out the pinkie of her left hand. Molly stooped down and shook it firmly.

“Very good.” He nodded at her and moved back to the couch, picking up the spinner. Tried to settle back into their dynamic. “I hope you’ve been thinking about your next trick because it’s gunna be hard to top the last one.”

“Oh, I have,” she said, shooting him a mischievous little smile.

Molly raised his eyebrows. That was going to be interesting, he was sure.

He exhaled silently, her energy settling his nerves a bit. She was safe here. She was happy for the time being, and he could keep giving her a good time for as long as she was here. Let her escape it all.

If there was anything going on at home. Or school. Or anywhere. Molly tried to keep that sliver of hope in his mind. He might be overreacting to something completely mundane and normal. He had never wanted to be wrong so badly in his life.

“Alright, let’s see it then!” Molly forced a smile and flicked the spinner.

Chapter Text

Toya sat at Gustav’s kitchen counter, up on the big stools because Molly was nice and let her sit there instead of the boring kitchen table. Molly had made her peanut butter sandwiches for dinner, which was also very cool. And he said that after dinner they could watch a movie! And Toya got to pick any movie she wanted! Kylre always picked when they watched movies together, and Toya didn’t like any of his movies. They were all too loud and scary.

But, she was having such a fun day with Molly! She happily took another bite of her sandwich and smiled at him. He was sitting beside her at the counter and gave her a smile back when he noticed her looking. Molly was so nice!

Although, without the distraction of trying to wow him with songs and dances, Toya noticed that he seemed a little bit tired. Her smile slowly dropped.

Maybe they should have stopped playing sooner. Maybe she shouldn’t have asked to play a game at all. Toya’s stomach churned with worry. She should have been paying attention instead of just having fun; she didn’t want Molly to be upset with her for making him so tired. She put down her sandwich and looked at her plate. Suddenly, she wasn’t so hungry anymore.

“You okay?” Molly asked after a few seconds. Shoot. He’d noticed. Toya blinked and looked back at him with a little smile.

“Mhm!” she said. Which was a lie. But if she told him that she was worried, then maybe he would get even more upset.

“Are you sure?” Molly asked, and Toya looked over at him. He was looking at her with a worried smile. Papa always looked at her like that when he really wanted to know what was wrong. So, maybe it would be okay to tell him. Molly seemed a lot more like Papa than like Kylre, even if he was kind of Kylre’s age.

“Are you too tired?” Toya asked nervously, after several moments of careful consideration. “I’m sorry if the game was too crazy.”

“What? Never!” Molly said, with far more flair than he needed to. He did that a lot. It usually made her laugh, because he was very silly, but she was too worried to laugh right now. He seemed to notice and started acting more serious. “No, it wasn’t too crazy. It was really fun, actually.”

Toya scanned his face, trying to figure out if he was lying. He didn’t seem like it, he just looked a little worried. But maybe she was being dumb.

“Do you promise?” She didn’t think that Molly would break a promise, so this was a good way to make sure he was being honest. Just in case.

“Pinkie promise, kiddo.” Molly held out his pinkie, and Toya smiled, wrapping her smaller finger around it and shaking firmly.

“You can’t break a pinkie promise,” Toya said, in case he didn’t know.

“I would never!” Molly said with a dramatic gasp, like he was offended. He pulled his hand away and clutched it to his chest, and Toya laughed. This seemed to make him happy; he smiled back at her and ruffled her hair. “Finish your dinner, and then you can pick out a movie, okay?”

Toya nodded dutifully and picked up her sandwich again, feeling much better.

Before she could take another bite, though, there was a knock at the door. Toya got nervous for a second, before she remembered that she was at Molly’s house and not in her bedroom, so it was probably just Gustav. Or maybe Papa coming to pick her up!

Molly looked at the time on the microwave—6:32 Toya saw— and slid off of his stool, moving towards the door without a word. Toya hopped off her stool and followed behind him, starting to get excited. She liked seeing Molly and playing with him, but she was excited to see her dad again too.

“Is it Papa?” She asked him, bouncing on her feet a little as they moved towards the door. She tried to duck around his legs to look out the little window next to the door.

“Looks like it,” Molly said, also leaning over to check out the window. He sounded tired again... Or no. That wasn’t right. Maybe scared? She watched him rub his hands against his pants, and realized she was right. He was scared. But that was weird. It was just Papa!

Nonetheless, Toya reached up and took his hand. She wasn’t sure why he would be scared of Papa, but she was scared of lots of stuff. Maybe he didn’t like door knocks either.

Molly looked down at her, and gave her a small smile, but it wasn’t nearly as happy as his normal smiles. Toya smiled back and squeezed his hand to try and make him feel better.

Molly opened the door, and it was Papa! She briefly forgot that she was supposed to be comforting Molly and ran at her dad, jumping into his arms when he held them out for her.

“Hey, sweetheart!” Papa picked her up and kissed both her cheeks. He sounded a bit tired, but he usually sounded that way after work. And he also seemed happy to see her, which made Toya really happy too!

“Hi, Papa!” Toya said as he put her back down. She hugged his legs, before turning back to Molly, suddenly remembering that she was supposed to be helping him. He was just looking at her dad, not really doing anything.

“Should I go get my sandwich?” Toya asked, trying to get Molly’s attention back on her as she walked back over and took his hand again. He looked down at her and shook his head slightly before giving her a smile.

“Yeah, kiddo,” he said, guiding her back towards the kitchen. “You can come in for a second if you want, Bo.”

“You got a sandwich, huh?” Papa said, stepping into the entry way and closing the door behind him. He followed her and Molly back to the kitchen.

“Yep!” Toya climbed up onto the kitchen stool and grabbed the paper plate she’d been eating off of. “Is it okay if I take it in the car, Papa?”

“Of course, sweetheart,” he said, leaning against the wall behind her and looking through his wallet. He pulled out some money and held it out to Molly. “Thanks again for taking her, Molly.”

“You really don’t need to do that,” Molly said with another not-Molly smile, but he put the money in his pocket when Papa insisted. “I’m really always happy to have her around.”

“Nevertheless, I appreciate it! You’re a good kid,” Papa said, and Toya smiled. That would probably cheer Molly up! She loved when Papa told her she was a good kid! She looked up to Molly and saw that he wasn’t really smiling.

“Thanks, Bo,” Molly said softly. Toya frowned and slid off of the stool, careful not to spill her sandwich. She looked up at her dad for guidance, since it really seemed like Molly was acting strange. But she saw that he looked kind of worried about Molly too.

“Alright,” Papa said, pushing himself off the wall, and holding out a hand for her. “Let’s get out of Mr. Molly’s hair, huh?”

“Okay,” Toya said slowly. She wasn’t sure if leaving was best, but she trusted her dad. He probably knew better how to deal with grownup kids like Molly and Kylre. She held up her plate for Papa to take, and quickly hugged Molly’s legs to say goodbye. “Thanks for playing with me, Molly! It was really super fun!”

“Of course, kiddo.” Molly knelt down and gave her a proper hug, squeezing her really tight. “I hope I see you again soon.”

“Me too!” Toya said, pulling away from Molly and going to take her dad’s hand.

She wished Kylre went on trips with his friends every weekend, so she could play with Molly more. But Kylre was coming back tomorrow. Toya sighed quietly as her dad led her towards the front door.

Maybe Kylre would be happier now that he’d been with his friends for a little bit, and Toya hadn’t been bothering him the whole weekend. She smiled to herself, filling with resolve. This was her chance. She would just be on really good behavior, and then he wouldn’t be upset at her so much, and they could be friends. Like her and Molly!

Her dad opened the front door, and Molly stood in the doorway as they left. She looked behind her and gave him a big wave and a smile as her and Papa walked down the driveway.

“Bye, Molly!!” She said, really loud so he could hear her.

“Bye, kiddo,” Molly waved back at her, leaning against the doorframe.

Toya climbed into the backseat of her dad’s car, buckled her seatbelt, and looked out the window. She watched Molly fold his arms in front of him, face looking kind of sad.

“Did you have a good day, sweetheart?” Papa started to drive away.

“Yeah,” Toya said, worry squirming in her stomach. She really hoped Molly was okay.

She gave him one more wave through the car window, and he stayed in the doorway until she lost sight of him.

…

Molly closed the front door once Bo’s car was completely out of sight, sighing heavily and leaning his head against the wood, anxiety curling in his stomach.

Fuck, this sucked. Even if it seemed fine, and Toya seemed happy to see Bo, and Bo seemed completely normal and nice—if Toya wasn’t here with Molly, she could be anywhere with anybody. She could be scared or in danger or hurt, and Molly just wouldn’t know.

She didn’t have a phone, or he would have given her his number, told her to call him whenever she needed. But he had no way to reach her without talking to Bo or Ornna, and they might be part of the problem, and-

Molly pushed himself from the door, locked it, and moved upstairs. He couldn’t spiral out of control again. He had a plan. He was going to tell Gustav and Gustav was going to help him handle it, and then Gustav was likely going to kick him out of his house, but that was a future Molly problem.

For now, he just had to keep his brain in check until Gustav got home in a few hours.

Molly entered his bedroom and collapsed onto his bed. He pulled his phone from the charger, looking for a distraction, and was met with many messages from Beau—from last night and throughout the day. And a text and a missed call from Yasha.  Well, fuck. That was bad.

 [Beau] 1:43- Hey man, I’m really sorry

[Beau] 1:57- You’re probably sleeping, text me when you wake up yeah?

[Beau] 10:17- Hey are you awake?

[Beau] 12:15- I’m sorry again, I know you’re pissed

[Beau] 12:15- Don’t gotta say shit just let me know you’re okay please

[Yasha <3] 4:21- Are you okay? Beau is worried about you… What happened?

Molly scrolled through all the notifications, feeling dread slowly settle in his stomach. He hated that he did this. That he’d conditioned them all to assume the worst. He was getting better, but…

He hoped none of the others had gotten involved, at the very least. He doubted Beau would have gone to Caleb, given the evident tension there, but if Yasha had told Jester and Fjord? They were supposed to be having fun out on their trip, not worrying about Molly and his messy ass brain.

He texted Yasha back first because she was his everything, and the idea that she’d been worrying about him for two or more hours made his stomach churn.

Why did Beau have to get her involved? He’d told her not to. And it was fucking shitty that she had, but Molly’s anger faded quickly. She was just acting on the information she had. What else was she supposed to do?

But even with Yasha roped into the situation, he wasn’t sure how much she actually knew. Maybe it was fine? But Molly had no real right to expect that Beau had kept his escapades with his old group under wraps. He hoped she had anyways.

6:41- I am okay! We just had a little argument as we do, nothing major love!!

6:41- Just forgot to plug in my phone last night so it was dead, and I was watching Toya all day, so I just didn’t see her messages until now

6:42- I’m so sorry to worry you darling, I’ll text her rn <3

With that handled, Molly set about replying to Beau. Who had apologized to him, which he supposed was good of her. But then he’d probably fucked it up by not seeing the messages for almost 24 hours, leaving her to wonder if he’d offed himself in the night. Fuuuuuuuck.

6:42- I’m okay and also not mad

6:42- I mean I’m a little mad but ur a little mad too so we’re even

6:42- I’m so sorry for no response, my phone was dead

Before he could even set his phone down to breathe for a second, he got a response. Which made him feel immediately worse because that meant that Beau had been sitting on her phone, waiting for him to reply. For probably the whole fucking day. Molly pressed the palm of his hand against his eyes and heaved a sigh before looking back at his phone to actually read the incoming messages.

[Beau] 6:43- FUCK dude

[Beau] 6:43- It was dead for 18 HOURS????

Molly let out a soft laugh, the tension in his stomach lessening slightly. Beau was pissed, but this was her normal “pissed at Molly” behavior, where she was loud and vocal and violent. Much better than her walking away from him silently. He quickly shoved that mental image from his mind and replied, allowing himself to breathe and settle into his usual dance with Beau.

6:44- YES

6:44- …no

6:45- I was babysitting and didn’t look at it til now, I’m so sorry seriously

[Beau] 6:45- I’m gunna fucking kill you

6:45- Love you too~

[Beau] 6:45- <3

Molly felt his chest tighten. Beau wasn’t one to dole out affection on a whim, and that heart spoke numbers to the last 18 hours in her world. He was an idiot, but with Gustav and Toya and everything… She’d just slipped through the cracks.

Molly inhaled and exhaled and emptied his mind. It was fine, and he’d fixed it now, and Beau would get over it. He moved back over to his messages with Yasha, and set his phone on the bed, fairly confident that his conversation with Beau was done for the time being. They could talk again tomorrow or Monday at school, when things were a little less raw.

It only took a few more minutes for him to get a reply from Yasha.

[Yasha <3] 6:57- I’m glad you’re okay! Do you want to talk about what happened? We’re still out right now, but we could call later tonight?

Molly heaved another sigh. It didn’t seem like she knew anything, but she was still worried because she was Yasha, and of course she was. She was lovely and kind and gentle, and Molly didn’t want to continue bugging her. She deserved to have a good time, and Molly was fine. She would be back on Wednesday, and he could handle himself until then… Probably.

6:58- That’s okay lovely! It’s all settled now, I promise <3

6:58- Please try not to worry okay? I swear I am okay

Even as he denied her offer, Molly was hit with a deep desire to have Yasha by his side again, to lean against her and feel her soothing presence.

And not just Yasha, but Jester and Fjord and Nott and Caleb and even fucking Beau. He wasn’t as close with the rest of them, not like with Yasha anyways. To be honest, he usually just fucked around and made fun of them all, distant in the back of the group. Sometimes doted on Jester. Flirted with Caleb. Light and simple and trivial. Pointless interactions, really.

But they were a safety net of sorts. And he didn’t really know how to exist without them, without people around him. Which was probably a problem, if he thought about it for too long. But, it didn’t particularly matter right now. He typed out another message.

7:00- Give the others my love for me? <3

[Yasha <3] 7:01- I will. Please let me know if you change your mind, okay? I’m here for you.

[Yasha <3] 7:01- I love you. <3

Molly sighed, the ache of loneliness settling heavier over him. Making his throat tight.

7:01- I love you so much darling

7:01- Thanks for checking on me <3

[Yasha <3] 7:02- Always. <3

Molly sighed and closed his eyes, sitting in his melancholy for a moment before he turned off his phone and stood up. He should start packing. He had to pass the time until Gustav got here anyways, and he might as well be prepared for after he figured out how to help with Toya.

Molly turned on some music, slow and sad but soothing, a fitting soundtrack for the emotion lodged in his throat.

He moved to the closet and pulled out his suitcase, setting it on the bed.

He didn’t have too much in his little room, looking around the space. Just some clothes. School supplies he could throw into his backpack. Miscellaneous props he’d stolen from the theater department at school. Random doodles from Jester. Trinkets Nott had given him.

It shouldn’t take him long.

He began the process of taking his shirts off their hangers, pulling pants from drawers, folding them neatly into the suitcase. Taking his time.

It had been a good run with Gustav, in this room. It had really started to feel like his, despite his best efforts to not get too comfortable. He’d known it had to end at some point, and he would be fine. Because he still had Yasha and the others, and he wouldn’t lose them when he left here. He’d see them at school, and they’d continue their usual routines, and Molly would get over it.

His eyes were wet, and Molly ignored it, placing another shirt into his suitcase with more care than was warranted.

He would get over it. Eventually. Probably.