Chapter Text
"Mama, why don't I have a soul mark like you?"
" Baobei, don't worry about such things. Fate will work it all out, just have some faith."
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Mu Qing was nearing 1000 years old when it finally showed on his skin, the things he always tried to hold out hope for, the only thing he ever tried to have faith in. It was a hard learned lesson that there was no one that would help (not for free anyways, you always have to give something in return) but it was still a lesson he had learned, at a young age too. When he was young and had to eat small portions to save the coin, or when he had to work instead of playing so that he could help his mother, he had learned, realised, that no-one was going to help without some type of exchange, not even the gods. A young Mu Qing had heard so much about soul mates, love stories and tragedies alike, that no matter where they are from, they will cross paths and will be happy, or in the case of tragedies, happy until they are parted. It is said that soul mates will do anything to help each-other and for nothing in return, because they feel so deeply for each other, (sometimes the jie-jies at the brothel down the street will say they feel happy when they have nothing to be happy about), and so this is what he learned to hope for. He would not pray to anyone, he didn't trust what they would ask for in return, and he wasn't stupid enough to believe that he would be treated fairy from those in a higher position or with more money, but he wanted to at least be happy for a while, to have someone on his side with no question or hesitation. Dianxia and Feng Xin had given him that for a while, but it all ended, alone for 800 years he still had very little hope left, with his mothers words in mind he had tried, but it seemed like it simply wasn't what fate had in store for him.
He cried, Mu Qing was only a little ashamed to admit that he cried when he saw it. A bright red ribbon wrapped around Zhanmadao on his back, there was some small details he noticed, like how if you looked closely the ribbon was burning at both ends, and how there was something that looked like petals floating down his back around the ribbon and sabre. Mu Qing was feeling so many conflicting emotions that he didn't know what to do, he simply couldn't move from the spot. Staring out of his bedroom window, looking at the peaceful heavenly realm he decided that no-one could know about this. A god of over a thousand years, having a newly born mortal soul mate... it could only end in disaster, Mu Qing had never heard of anything like that before, soul mates were always born together. He would keep it to himself, and if anything happened... he would find a way to deal with it on his own.
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Feng Xin knew something had happened, the last time Mu Qing had acted like this was when Dianxia had ascended for the third time. He was acting cold and out of sorts, but still trying to hide it under layers of arrogance because of his pride, he doesn't easily display when he is hurt or even bothered by anything. Feng Xin had tried to get the answer out of Mu Qing but it was like they had gone back 200 years and they were once again constantly fighting, Mu Qing not admitting what was wrong and Feng Xin too worked up to say that he was only worried.
Eventually it got too much for him, and whilst he was sparring with Dianxia he had let all his frustrations spill. "He is acting exactly the same as during the years we were split! He's being too arrogant and prideful to accept that anyone could actually, JUST. BE. WORRIED!" Feng Xin was too angry to see the thoughtful look on Xie Lian's face, "I've noticed it too, something bothering him. He just won't tell us". Xie Lian was troubled by the fact he couldn't help Mu Qing with this, after everything Mu Qing had done for him, Xie Lian would do anything for him in return. "He's being ridiculous, acting so stupid that he got you worried too, Dianxia". Xie Lian could tell that Feng Xin was getting worked up again, so he said the first thing that came to mind, " let's take him on a mission with us! I'm sure Ling Wen will have something, we can try and get some answers without everyone else around". Whilst Feng Xin was still aggrieved nothing had worked so far, he could admit this was a good idea, perhaps Mu Qing would be willing to open up to his friends when he was alone with them in the mortal world. "Okay Dianxia, i think I've tried just about everything else anyways".