Chapter Text
Chapter Six: Brace
The brilliance of Sumarin's sunset almost made up for the lackluster day Rey had spent in Meditation with Master Skywalker, trying to forget about Kylo Ren. Sumarin's twin suns, locked into a fatal orbit with one another and ceaselessly spiraling ever closer to oblivion, faded slowly from sight as the world spun on, oblivious to its inevitable destruction when the two suns met. Rey watched as the sunlight slowly retreated across the forest, leaving behind a line of leaves emblazoned in gold that faded too soon into shadow. A cool calm settled over the Resistance base. Fingerlike tendrils of fog reached across the landing platform as though to hide all evidence of the occupation, but were blasted away by the wash of the X-wing's engines as the snubfighter gently landed.
Poe Dameron sat nestled within his cockpit for several moments more, slowly shutting down the engines and ensuring that all was in order before popping the canopy and leaping down onto the tarmac. "Triple-check the post-flight checklist for me, would you, BB-8?"
Rey raised a hand in greeting at the pair as BB-8 whistled an affirmative, then stood to look down on Poe from the crate she had perched on to wait. He grinned at her as he pulled off his battered flight helmet and tucked it under one arm so he could loosen the cuffs of his gloves.
"Rey! What are you doing up there?"
She shrugged with a smile, not wanting to admit that she had chosen to wait atop the pile of crates just as an excuse to climb them. She missed the exertion of climbing, missed the thrill of clambering over the wreckage that littered Jakku's surface, and the exhilaration of peering out at the desert from atop the twisted ruins of a once-mighty Star Destroyer. "I wanted to be the first to tell you," she said instead, easing down off of the crates. "That Finn is awake."
"He's awake?" Poe repeated, as though the importance of the statement needed to permeate through the more immediate cares and concerns of his flight duty. And then his eyes lit up. "He's awake!"
"As of an hour or so ago," Rey said as he grabbed her up into a brief one-armed hug that almost knocked all the air out of her. His laughter was contagious. It was a relief to laugh after taking herself so seriously all day, even if it made her stumble over the words: "I haven't gotten to talk to him yet, they have to debrief him and make sure he's stable. But—he woke up!"
"I knew he would," Poe said with a wink. "Finn is a survivor. I'm going to see if they'll let me see him."
He ran from the landing platform, thoroughly ignoring her warning that Finn couldn't have visitors yet. As Poe's orange jumpsuit faded into the night, her glow of joy faded with it, leaving behind the sense of wanting that she'd been struggling with all day.
It was a relief to stand in the darkness, off to the side of all the hustle of the hanger, and let the sultry night settle over her. Far above her, dozens of strange insects flitted around the landing pad's illuminating floodlights. Beyond, in the forest, the nightlife began to stir, announcing itself with guttural croaks and echoing clicks that rose and fell in rhythm. The fog swirled around her legs as she considered the mortification that had clung to her all day: of not only explaining to Master Skywalker what she had done to the lightsaber and why, but then sketching an outline of the vision that had stemmed from that crystal. Master Skywalker was calm, and kind, but understandably disappointed—and that made Rey's guilty conscious even worse.
The close darkness recalled the vision, of course. She couldn't help but remember how good the intimacies had felt. It was strange to yearn for more of something that had never actually happened—something that never would happen, she told herself firmly. Not with Kylo Ren. It was impossible.
So far in her life, she had only known two different men in such a way. They each had made her laugh, and captivated her with talk of their off world adventures, and she had invited them back to her small home on Jakku just to banish the loneliness. It had been a simple thing, and in the morning they moved on, leaving her with a few fond memories. Those memories paled next to the vibrancy of her vision. There was something irresistible about it.
It would never be a simple thing, with Ren.
She should never have taken the lightsaber. She should never have dismantled it. But far and above the other mistakes, she should never have given in to the desire to touch that crystal. It pulled at her now from its hiding place in her jumpsuit pocket, wrapped carefully so that she wouldn't touch it, as Master Skywalker had bidden. She was determined to ignore it, this time.
Rey turned away from the landing pad and passed through the hangar. Passing the lure of the mechanics' projects, she walked aimlessly down into the depths of the compound. Trailing her fingers along the rough stone wall of the corridor, she turned a random corner at the next intersection, intentionally heading in the opposite direction from the medical bay. And there they were: another intelligence specialist and security officer duo, watching the display screens as Kylo Ren sat at a table opposite Major Brance. She could sense Master Skywalker there, too, studying his failed pupil from a distance that wouldn't incite a Force battle.
Rey didn't enter the room. Instead, she closed her eyes. When she focused, she could feel the flaring of Ren's presence in the Force. She'd been ignoring it all day, and allowing herself to touch it now felt like she was breaking a self-imposed rule.
Sensing the Force in others, and knowing they could sense it in her, still struck her with awe to the very marrow of her bones. Unfortunately, though it sometimes gave her hints of strong emotion, it didn't reveal the character of the person wielding that power. It offered up no guidance of what she should do about Ren; despite all he had done, Kylo Ren did not radiate evil, and the Force in him burned neither Light nor Dark.
The ambiguity of it made up her mind. She needed to replace the heat of the vision with the harsh reality of what Kylo Ren really was: cold and tyrannical. To do that, she needed to see him.
Rey nearly collided with Major Brance as she made the last turning in the deep corridors leading to Ren's cell.
"Our young Jedi Apprentice," Brance said with an indulgent smile, pausing to incline his head respectfully at her. "Perhaps your shared abilities will encourage Commander Ren to be more forthright with you than he has been with us."
Commander Ren. She'd been so wrapped up in considering his relationship to the Jedi, and to her, that she hadn't truly stopped to consider the weight of his authority within the First Order. Another mistake.
Still, Rey straightened her shoulders and forced a smile. She liked Brance; unlike some of the other Resistance officers, who looked at her as though she was destined to perform miracles now that Master Skywalker was found, Brance treated her at her like she was an actual person. "I hope they will, Major." She hadn't been sure if they would allow her to see him, but if they thought Master Skywalker had sent her… "I haven't been to the cell yet, is there anything specific I need to do in order to get in?"
"There shouldn't be a problem, everyone knows who you are. Just stand near the cell and wait for technician to drop the energy shield, and you can trigger the door. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to report our progress to the General."
The Major gave her an encouraging nod before leaving. Rey looked down the long hall towards Ren's cell; she could just barely make out the shimmering of the shield at the far end of the corridor, and the armed guards standing at their posts on either side of the door.
"May the Force be with me," she muttered under her breath, a talisman to give her the strength to walk towards the cell.
"This is interesting."
The intelligence specialist leaned forward in his chair, glancing between the two different views of the surveillance display: one focused on the cell, the other covered the hallway just outside. Apprentice Rey stood just beyond the energy shield, but when it dropped, she hesitated before moving toward the blast doors. He nodded toward his security officer counterpart. "Better get ready to call in reinforcements if things start getting tetchy."
Behind them, General Leia Organa shifted, turning to whisper to her brother, "Luke, I really hope you know what you're doing."
"She's down there of her own choice, Leia. I didn't have anything to do with this."
"That's not what I mean," she said darkly. "And you know it."
Luke smiled at her dry tone, and draped an arm around her, pulling her into a hug. She rested her head on his shoulder. "He won't harm her, I can sense that much."
"That's not what I meant either." Leia sighed, wistful. "I want to see my son. In person. I need to see him. Reports from Brance are not enough, not when he's right here."
"I know," Luke said. "I know. But be patient." He nodded toward the screen, where Rey was just lifting a hand to trigger the blast doors to open. "We both just have to be patient."
"I have…" Leia shook her head, letting the remark go unsaid as she watched Rey step into her son's cell. She wanted to trust Luke's instincts, she really did. But she had instincts he didn't have: a mother's intuition. I have a bad feeling about this.
The blast doors whispered open, but Kylo Ren refused to open his eyes. He didn't need his physical senses to recognize who had come down to see him; her presence in the Force was unmistakable.
He was Meditating, or had been before she interrupted. He was still sitting cross-legged on the floor, taking a moment to rein in his breathing and his thoughts after the mental trial of dealing with Major Brance, when she finally spoke.
"You didn't do it."
She didn't sound angry. If anything, she sounded triumphant. Almost like she was laying a trap, or daring him into a confrontation. It was not a tactic that people normally took with him. Intrigued, Ren resisted the urge to open his eyes. "I didn't do what?" he asked, cautious.
"You didn't kill him. Finn. It looks like he's going to pull through."
Ren sighed. That damned traitor, again. "You came down here to gloat?"
"Yes."
The self-satisfied answer was so honest that he opened his eyes. "That can't be all you've come for."
Rey raised her chin in defiance, but she still looked ragged around the edges, much as he felt. Her dark jumpsuit was clean, but rumpled. She was wearing her hair down, and it curled loosely around her shoulders, still damp from a recent attempt to wash away her fatigue. But that didn't seem to have worked—he could read weariness on her face and in the slump of her shoulders, and wariness in the nervous movements of her hands. When she finally met his eyes, he could see that hers were bloodshot. She sighed, and sank down into the chair closest to the door.
Rey stared at her folded hands on the table as she admitted: "I wanted to ask you something."
He raised his eyebrows, surprised that she didn't try to dissemble. "You would let them use you as an interrogator? How disappointing."
Rey leaned back in her chair, crossing her arms in contemplation. "I'm not here to interrogate you, Commander. I already know the truth about why you're sitting in this cell. Part of it, anyway."
"Oh really?" Despite his covering sarcasm, her words resonated within him. Face the truth. He pushed himself to his feet, but only long enough to cross the room and take the chair opposite her. "Explain."
"You're not in a position to demand anything from me," she said, overly defensive, but the harshness of her tone was undercut by the deep blush that rose to her cheeks.
She was trying to goad him, he realized. It was a clumsy attempt compared to Hux's murderous subtly. He smiled, amused and curious why, but said nothing. Her blush deepened, and he sensed a surge of embarrassment radiate from her—but then she drew in a breath and held it, obviously searching for calm.
"If you close your eyes," he suggested quietly, "the exercise might work better."
The held breath whuffed out of her in indignation. "I don't need you to tell me how to Meditate."
"Then say what you came here to say." It was an effort to keep his voice mild, and he wasn't sure if he was agitated because she was trying to rile him into it, or because it was hard to remain stoic when she was watching him so closely. She made him vulnerable, and it had been Kenobi's strange visit that made him realize it. He could do nothing about it now aside from force himself to be unyielding. He tried to steel himself, felt his face slip into its stern mask as his body tensed.
Her only response was to jerk at the zipper of her jumpsuit, pulling it down far enough to expose the lines of her neck, and the slight shadow in curve a collar bone. She looked deceivingly delicate, but Ren knew that was a lie; she had survived alone, scavenging, on the outskirts of a backwater trading post on a backwater desert planet in the Western Reaches. And she had made it from there, to here. Nothing about her, body included, was delicate.
Ren clenched his jaw, watching her carefully. He noticed the glimmer of caution in her eyes when she pulled a small stained rag out of her jumpsuit's inner breast pocket.
The rag was wrapped around something about the size of a finger. She didn't need to unwrap it; he instantly knew what it was. He could hear it, whispering to him: the Kyber crystal from his lightsaber. He realized that he was standing, that he had knocked his chair over as he jumped to his feet. His head felt light. Control. He needed control.
"I found it in the fried out remnants of a dead lightsaber," she said vaguely, tucking it back into her pocket. So she knew the weapon had failed. That was a reason to gloat—Hux would have been side-eying him with smug superiority after a reveal like that—but Rey had the grace to look apologetic.
He had to consciously unclench his jaw and relax his fists. Two breaths diffused his fury. He could feel the crystal—his crystal, the intimate core of the lightsaber he had built, which she had obviously destroyed or dismantled. It called to him, damaged but still possessing some power, urging him to action. That Rey had it unnerved him more than he liked to admit, but better she had it than Skywalker. He had counselled Ren against ever using it in the lightsaber, and he had been right. Damn him.
"I suppose scavenging instincts die hard," Ren said, once he could control his voice. "Perhaps your Master hasn't yet taught you that, not only is it a breach of privacy to alter a lightsaber that is not your own, but it could be dangerous."
"I'm good at mechanics," she said, her tone dismissive. But the way she looked back down at her hands reaffirmed her guilt.
"Don't look away from me, Rey," he said, leaning intently forward. "What you did was an invasion. And you obviously came here tonight with the goal of angering me. Whatever your reasons, have the strength to face me now that you've succeeded."
His anger wasn't directed at her, not truly. It was the crystal that had betrayed him, short-circuiting the lightsaber. He didn't even want the lightsaber back, not if he could have the lightsaber that had belonged to the only family he still claimed: his grandfather.
She lifted her head, her eyes blazing. "I don't know what I was thinking, coming here."
Ren could sense her strongest emotions through the Force: confusion, and a deep, lingering embarrassment. An embarrassment so strong that she stood and turned toward the door.
"Wait. Stay."
He hadn't meant to say it. His voice broke midway through the plea, twisting it to sound like a demand. But Rey paused, half-turned away from him, to watch him over her shoulder.
"Stay," he repeated. He slowly took his seat, hoping that the motion could diffuse the tension that was growing so thick it threatened to drown him. "I can sense your conflict. Trust—"
"In the Force?" She stiffened. "Don't try to placate me. And don't try to convince me that you care about me at all." Her voice was clouded with pain, and something deep stirred within his gut, a mixture of anxiety and urgency. Her dismissal of his concern made him ache, a physical pain he never expected. His instinctual reaction to her made him uncomfortable, but before he could speak, she said,
"This is what I don't understand, Ren," she said, crossing her arms as she turned back to face him. "You abandoned your Jedi training, and you're currently a prisoner of war. How can you sit there so calmly and tell me to trust in the Force?"
"Because, like breathing, I do it without being consciously aware of it. The Force is the only constant thing in my life." He smiled slightly. "And I didn't abandon my training, I merely changed its focus."
"Changed its focus? I find it hard to believe that the Force has urged you to do what you've done."
"The Force doesn't have a mind, Rey."
He expected her to interrupt, to argue, but instead, she perched on the edge of her chair, listening.
"The Force doesn't have motivations," he continued, rubbing idly at the stubble on his chin as he gathered his thoughts. "It isn't aware of morality. It's simply all encompassing. All encompassing. And we act on its stirrings how we will."
"We act on its stirrings how we will," she repeated slowly, her eyes growing wide, as though she was seeing him for the first time.
The room's lights clicked over to the night spectrum, dousing them in blood red light, and Rey jumped in surprise. The harsh lighting cast half her aspect into shadow. "The lights cycle on a day-night timer," Ren said, standing, grasping at any excuse to break her scrutiny of him. "You should go."
He hoped she couldn't read his expression as well as he could read hers, hoped she couldn't sense his confusion the way he could sense hers. Sentimentality. Compassion. Desire. They broiled in his mind.
But she didn't leave. "I had a vision," she said, her voice so low that he almost couldn't hear it. "And you were in it."
Vision. The word made him shiver. He forced himself to stand still, staring at the wall instead of at her. She was a master at making him uncertain of himself, and he hated being uncertain. He drew in a breath. He had to trust her, he had to face that truth.
"A vision?" He cleared his throat. "Tell me."
When she didn't answer, he turned. Her face was pale, her eyes distracted. He watched her for a moment, unmoving and silent. She narrowed her eyes and looked to the side, at nothing. Sweat beaded on her forehead.
Curious, Ren moved around the table to kneel before her. Her attention was turned painfully inward, perhaps on the cusp of another vision. There was nothing he could do to help her realize it except ensure that she wasn't disturbed. But the Resistance was watching, and might not understand what they were seeing. They would try to intervene if they thought he was harming her.
She blinked, seemed to shake herself a little, and looked at him. "They're coming," she said softly, numbly, before seeming to notice his closeness. She leaned back and wrenched her hand from his grip; he had been so transfixed that he didn't even remember taking her hand. "You lied to me."
He stiffened, shifting his weight from one knee to the balls of his feet so he could jump backward if she attacked him. "I have never lied to you."
"You told me you came here alone."
"I did."
"But they're coming. How did the First Order learn this location?"
She was struggling to believe him. And he desperately wanted her to. The only thing he could offer her was the truth.
"They've known the location as long as I have."
"They're coming," she repeated, raising her voice to ensure the Resistance surveillance equipment would pick up on it. "We've got to evacuate, the First Order is—"
She jumped to her feet the moment that the doors opened, partly shielding him as armed Resistance bodies spilled into the room. Ren caught the first blaster bolt again his open palm, snarling in pain as he used the Force to pull away the destructive power of the laser so that the shot wounded him vastly less that it should have. As the officer shouted uselessly for a ceasefire, Ren flung out his other hand, using the Force to freeze the next bolt in the air. The third bolt missed him, barely, but by then everything had descended into chaos.
"Stop it!" Rey's voice cut across the din of blaster fire. He felt the command pressing at his consciousness, but he had honed mental barriers to prevent such manipulation. The Resistance did not. "Lower your weapons!"
They stopped firing. Stunned, they lowered their weapons. Rey looked shocked that the command had worked, but Ren had no time to coach her now. Still holding the second blaster bolt in the air, Ren gestured with his wounded hand, brushing aside the bodies that stood between him and the door. They wouldn't be able to raise the energy shield unless they wanted to risk harming their own. It was his best chance.
"I wish you would come with me," Ren said, holding out that same hand to her. Blood welled from the deep blaster burn, dribbling over his outstretched palm and onto the floor.
Her eyes flashed. "I… I won't abandon my Master." Rey pulled a crude tool from her pocket and held it up as though she had half a mind to skewer him with it if he tried to take her against her will. "If you're going to go, then just go."
Ren edged closer to her. The Resistance shifted, but didn't fire at him. This surveillance recording would no doubt be scoured for any useful intelligence, so he didn't speak. He reached out to press two fingers against her palm, lowering her hand and the makeshift weapon, but his real goal was to bridge a physical contact with her. Her shaking hand clenched around the tool so hard that her knuckles were white. In his mind he recalled a memory of Hoth, the ice planet ringed by an asteroid belt, devoid of almost all life. I won't abandon you, he promised silently. Come to me on Hoth.
Her eyes narrowed, but he couldn't tell if he had gotten through to her. He had no more time to wait.
Ren let the blaster bolt go, stepping aside so it shot beside him, exploding into the wall. Rey stared at him in disapproving silence, perhaps not realizing that she still controlled the will of the Resistance fighters crowding around her. None of them tried to stop him as he dashed from the room.
He remembered the route they had taken to get him down here, and sprinted in the opposite direction. The tunnel quaked, showering dust down onto his shoulders, and the dim hall lights flickered out. Ren glanced up, cursing Hux for his horrible timing. It wasn't supposed to happen like this; something must have gone wrong with the Knights of Ren, or they would have prevented this attack.
Ren paused at the next intersection, listening to the aerial attack on the Resistance base above as he tried to decide which way to turn. The loud clattering of footsteps echoed behind him. He spun around, preparing to reach out with the Force—and Rey, backlit by the red light spilling out of his cell far behind her, skidded to a halt just shy of colliding with him.
"You really didn't know they were coming?"
"If I did, don't you think there would be some sort of plan more involved than this?" He spread his hands in a sweeping gesture at the dark intersection before him, and as if on cue, the tunnel walls trembled again.
"You could have planned all of this!" she insisted reluctantly, raising her voice over the crash of cannon fire from above.
"No, this is all Hux." Another explosion drowned out his words. Tremors ran up Ren's feet and into his body, so strong they jarred his teeth. He managed to brace himself just as Rey threw out her hands for balance, stumbling sideways partway into the wall and partway into him.
He caught her, helping to keep her to her feet, as shouts echoed down the corridor: the Resistance guards, regaining their will to act. "Don't hurt them." Rey twisted in his arms to shot a look over her shoulder as the Resistance fighters surged forward, then jerked her chin in the direction of a side passage. "Come this way."
Rey slipped out of his grip and ran past him, grabbing his wrist at the last moment to pull him into the darkness. Ren ran, keeping close to her side so he wouldn't lose her in the dark. Twin Ion Engines screamed above, wavering as though out of control. He could feel the impact from the crash, hear the horrible thud of an explosion as something critical in the base was destroyed.
Ren's intuition flashed a warning, and he flung himself forward, pulling Rey into him. Merely a breath later, the corridor began to collapse, and the cacophony of the ongoing battle was obliterated under the roar of falling stone.