Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Joel huffed, hobbling over towards his car, crossing the large blacktop parking lot of the building he worked in. 

He was tired and sore, his hands aching and his skin stinging from all the cleaning products he’d had to use.

He made his way to the old, beat-up pickup truck he used, fiddling for his keys in the pockets of his dirty jeans that stank of detergent. He felt the jangling, fishing the keys out with two fingers.

“Fuck! Fuckin’ shitty goddammit motherfucking hell fucking douchey asshole!” A voice shouted to his right. It didn’t sound like whoever had spoken was in trouble, but still Joel pushed himself forward step by step.

“Everything okay?” He shouted to whoever had spoken.

“Uhhhhhhhh…” The voice replied awkwardly. “Yeah, yeah I’m fine.” Didn’t sound fine .

Joel made his way towards where the voice came from, a beat up green Prius at the end of the row. He heard the sounds of metal and the clattering and frustrated groans.

He circled the car, taking in the sight in front of him.

A young woman sat at the back tire, seeming to be pulling on it, her hands and gray hoodie smudged with darkness from the tire and the pavement.

“What’s going on here?” He asked. The woman—girl, more like. She couldn’t possibly be older than twenty—jumped, spinning awkwardly around in her sitting position to face him. 

She looked at him wearily for a second, holding his gaze suspiciously, but it was light out and the parking lot was far from empty, so she seemed to accept his intentions were pure.

“Flat tire.” She muttered, gesturing next to her. The tire she’d been pulling on had a nail stuck in the bottom, glinting against the pitch black rubber.

“And you’re… pulling on it?” He asked, gesturing to her stained hands.

“I thought it would like… unscrew.” She told him with an embarrassed shrug. Joel fought down the urge to laugh.

“You were trying to unscrew the tire… with your hands?” He asked slowly.

“Fuck you, dude!” The girl snapped back. “I—”

“No. no, it’s fine. Makes sense.” Joel cut her off, raising his hands in mock surrender. “Just surprised is all. You need some help?” The girl glanced at the tire, then down at her hands, then towards the open trunk of her car.

“Yes… yes please.” Joel nodded, pulling out his phone and awkwardly typing a message, his thumbs too large to hit the correct buttons on his IPhone Mini.

Joel🤍🩶🖤 >> Sorry, gong to bfe latte

Sarah💝 >> 👍👍👍

“Alright,” Joel said, grunting as he kneeled down next to the girl. “First, you’re gonna need a jack. Do you know what a jack is?” The girl nodded.

“Yeah, of course I know what a jack is. It’s… uh, it’s a type of… wrench?” Joel shook his head slightly. “A… large… drill?”

“It’s the thing you use to lift the car.”

“I have to lift the car?!” Joel couldn’t help a small laugh from escaping his chapped lips.

“Yeah, sorta, I s’pose.” 

Nearly a half hour later, he eased himself back up to standing, wiping his now grimy hands on his jeans. After the girls lost expression, he’d completely redone the tire with slower commentary.

She was smart. Attentive. She looked up at him, her arms still raised from her celebration after she’d attached the new tire herself, a smudge of black grime on her face.

“Holy shit!” She half shouted, gesturing at the tire wildly. “Holy shit!” Joel chuckled, stretching out his back with a pop. “Thanks, dude!” She said excitedly.

“Happy to help.” He told her. He watched as she pulled out a wallet from her jeans, opening it and pulling out a bill.

“Uh, here—” Joel shook his head, putting his hands out to stop her.

“No, no need to pay me.” He told her, even though he could use the money. Southern upbringing still sticking with him in Boston.

“You sure?” The girl asked. “It’s really no problem.” He just shook his head.

“I ain’t takin’ your money. You just repay me by drivin’ safe, alright?” She bit her lip, nodding.

“O-okay. Thanks.” He nodded, turning to walk away.

“Glad I could help.” He told her over his shoulder, smiling just a bit.

“Sorry I’m late.” Joel said into his phone, laying on his shoulder in speakermode as he iced his back. “Some kid didn’t know how to change a tire, so I had to teach ‘em.” Sarah snorted, her voice crackly through the phone as she spoke.

”That’s the most ‘ you ’ reason to be late, oh my god.” Joel snorted.

”So, how was your day, sweetie?” He asked, trying to shift the ice but failing miserably, dropping it on the floor.

He stared at it for a moment, debating if it was worth the effort of picking up.

”Good, yeah.” Sarah told him. “It’s definitely that time when everyone’s just waiting for summer.” Joel huffed.

Sarah was in her second year of college at Columbia, studying to become a pediatrician. Something she’d decided after many hours of agonizing at the kitchen table of their old house over her future.

He couldn’t be prouder of her, the first in their family to go to college, even if it was staggeringly expensive. 

“How’s your back?” She asked. Joel nodded, even though she couldn’t see him.

”It’s good. I’m managing.” He lied, his eyes dropping to the melting ice pack on the floor.

Nearly a year ago he’d had an accident on a jobsite, an excavator and a bad car-break leading to one of his vertebrae being crushed and replaced.

He’d had to spend six damn months in a wheelchair, Sarah nearly dropping out to care for him. He wouldn’t do that to her, so he’d moved to Boston to be closer to her and Tommy just in case.

He’d been back on his feet for six months, but only got the janitor gig last month after he was cleared for work, since he couldn’t go back to contracting with his bad back and he was too poor to afford living in his body.

”Glad you’re doing well.” Sarah told him, doubt clear in her voice. “You went to Tommy’s last night, right?” 

“That I did.” Joel responded. One of the best parts of being in Boston was being close to Tommy and his family, a fiancé named Maria who Joel couldn’t help but be a tiny bit afraid of, and her son Kevin who Tommy was a hell of dad to, even if on the occasional bar nights they’d went on he rambled about constantly failing.

”Y’know, those first couple of years with Sarah I felt like I was fucking everything up ,” Joel had told him once. “ Like I was failin’ her in my sleep. But let me tell you, you’re a damn good father to that kid, even if you make some mistakes. Hell, Sarah turned out pretty alright with my dumb ass as a dad .”

”Well,” Sarah continued. “Yesterday we were doing this assignment about stereotypes in media, and—” A loud crash came from the phone, someone shouting something Joel couldn’t make out. “Shit.” Sarah muttered. “Um, I actually hafta go.” Joel chuckled a bit.

”Yeah yeah, call me tomorrow.” He told her.

”Always.” Sarah replied, her voice through the speaker interrupted by a shout from her roommate. “Jesus Christ! Why’d you let Mr. Rattles out of his cage?! He’s probably slithering to the Delta Beta clubhouse by now—” 

The call cut off.

Joel walked into the large office of the company he worked for, the massive ‘ AbelCode ’ sign hung on the door of the modern-styled building, wood and white walls and glass. Lot’s of fucking glass to clean.

He hobbled over to the supply closet, looking through his key ring for the right one.

”Holy shit!” He turned around, recognizing the voice immediately. 

The girl he’d helped the previous evening was standing behind him, hands in the pockets of her black jeans mostly covered by the oversized button up she wore, black with skull patterns printed in a grid. “You’re the fuckin’ dude!” He chuckled, putting his key ring back into his pocket.

”Caught me.” He told her. “You work here?” She nodded, her brown hair pulled into a messy ponytail, part of the front down.

“Yeah, I’m a coder.” 

“Didn’t realize they were usin’ child labor.” He joked. She huffed out a breath in mock offense.

”Fuck you, I’m nineteen.” 

“My mistake.” He replied sarcastically. She snorted.

”Yeah yeah. Hey, you wanna go grab a coffee?” He gave her a weird look. “Ew, don’t be gross.” he chuckled.

”Just makin’ sure.” He told her. “But no, I don’t think I can. Got a lot of scrubbin’ to do.” The girl raised her eyebrows, looking behind him at the ‘ supply closet ’ sign on the door. 

“I think it’ll be okay.” She told him. “Trust me.” He huffed.

”If I lose my job, it’s on you.” 

She nodded in mock seriousness. ”I’ll take that bet.”

”Here you go,” The girl said, handing him a paper cup of coffee she’d made from the machine in the kitchen area of the offices. She had a cup too, but Joel could see that it was filled with apple juice. Either that or this nineteen-year-old was drinking alcohol at nine in the morning.

“Not a coffee fan?” He asked, taking a sip. She shook her head.

“Nope. It tastes like burnt shit. Plus people tell me I’m already hyper enough.” 

Joel nodded. “I see.”

“So, you new here? I definitely don’t know you.” 

“Yeah, I’ve been working here for about a month.” He told her, shrugging. “It’s alright, though I don’t know jack shit about the company other than that it's somethin’ tech related in some way.” 

The girl snorted. “I mean for your generation that’s very impressive.” Joel rolled his eyes. In all honesty he’d just been keeping his head down and counting the thousands of days until retirement. “No, but it’s pretty cool, actually. Basically ‘ AbelCode ’ has this software that’s used by a bunch of the biggest platforms in the world to stop, uh… illegal content.” 

Joel raised his eyebrows. “Really?”

“Yeah!” She told him, seemingly pleased by his interest. “So, it’s a Computer Vision Algorithm, where—”

Joel spent the next five minutes listening to her explain the technology, using animated hand gestures to show how the system flowed. It didn’t make a lick of sense to him, but her enthusiasm was nice to watch. It reminded him of Sarah, talking for hours about the shows she loved and hidden meanings in the dialogue.

“Well that’s mighty interestin’,” he told her once she was done talking, taking another sip of his near-finished coffee. She covered her mouth to try to unsuccessfully suppress a giggle. “What’s so funny?” he asked.

“Nothing, just the ‘mighty interestin’.” She told him, trying awfully to mimic his voice. He huffed.

“Shut your gob, girl. I’m from Texas.”

“No shit?”

“Yes shit. I moved here ‘bout a year ago.” 

She made an interested noise. “Oh. You liking Boston?” 

Joel shrugged. “Pros and cons, I s’pose.” 

The girl nodded. “Fair, but at least now you’ve got a better baseball team.” 

Joel’s jaw dropped in mock offense. “How dare you?”

“Hey, I’m just saying the obvious!” He scoffed.

“Who one a series more recently? Astros.” 

“They got lucky!”

“Damn Red Socks couldn’t win a little league game!”

“Fuck off! You sound as senile as you look!” The girl burst out laughing at her own comment, quickly glancing up at him to make sure she didn’t go too far, looking almost surprised at Joel’s silent laughter.

“Ain’t pullin’ no punches, are we?” He asked, his shoulders shaking. 

She grinned up at him. “Not if you're gonna be stupid.” He snorted. “But I’ll give Texas one thing, you’ve got some fucking legends outta tumbleweedville. George fuckin’ Strait? The best .” Joel raised an eyebrow.

“You a George Strait fan? Thought he’d be a bit before your time.” 

She gave him a half shrug. “I had this Walkman when I was a kid. It had like, five songs. I swear to god I’ve listened to ‘ Carrying Your Love With Me ’ hundreds of times.” 

“ When you were a kid?” 

“Go to hell. No, but the point is George Strait was the best fuckin’ thing about my childhood.” 

Joel chuckled. “You and me both. I actually know how to play that one on guitar.” The way her brown eyes shimmered in admiration made Joel feel prouder than he’d like to admit.

“I’ve always wanted to learn how to play it on guitar.” She told him. “Never was able to, though.”

“Y’know, I got a spare guitar I could bring in tomorrow. It used to be my daughters, but she was never a huge fan of playin’.” 

“You seriously don’t hafta do that.” She said quickly, putting her hands out in ‘ stop ’ gesture. “You’re being way too nice to me already.” He waved off her protests.

“Don’t be crazy, kid. I’d be happy to.”

“You sure?” 

He nodded. “‘Course I am. Tomorrow mornin’ I’ll bring it in, yeah?” She nodded hesitantly.

“Jeez man, any more good deeds and I’m calling the cops ‘cause you're definitely a spy out to steal my credit card number.” She joked. Joel scoffed.

“Doubt there’s anything worth stealing.” Her jaw dropped in mock offense.

“I’ll have you know that I’m obscenely rich.” Joel snorted. “What? Do I not seem obscenely rich to you?”

“No, my mistake madam billionaire, I missed the LV bag.” 

She flipped him off, finishing her apple juice/alcohol with a slurp. “That was my timer.” She told him, shaking the massive amount of ice still in the paper. “I gotta go back to making my zillion fucking dollars and shitting on peasants.” 

“Jeez kid, raised in a barn or something?”

“Worse, US foster system.” Joel let out a laugh, feeling almost bad about it.

“Fair enough.” He told her, placing his cup down and easing himself up to standing. “Well it was nice talking to you…” He frowned, realizing he hadn’t gotten the girl’s name.

“Ellie.” She told him.

“Joel.” He responded, reaching out to shake her hand. “Well it was nice talkin’ to you, Ellie. I’ll see you tomorrow.

“You too, Joel.” She said, grasping his hand. “It was awesome.”

Ellie was waiting for him at the supply closet the next day, a white company sweatshirt with ‘ AbelCode ’ printed in black on the fabric hanging down to his knees. 

“‘Sup, dude?” She asked, punching him on his gray-flanneled arm. “Get enough beauty sleep?” Joel shook his head mournfully.

“Not nearly.” He said, “c’mon, guitar’s in my trunk.”

“Nice day?” Sarah asked, voice crackling through the phone on his shoulder. A parrot that sounded strikingly similar to his kid.

“Pretty good.” Joel replied, “You were right, I think I finally made a friend at work.” He smiled, thinking back to the lunch break spent proudly watching Ellie stumble her way through the chords of ‘ Carrying Your Love With Me ’, getting slightly faster each time.

“Seriously?!” Sarah asked, shocked.

“Well you don’t need to sound that surprised.” Joel muttered. “But yeah. The girl I helped with the flat tire. She’s a good kid, a coder. I actually gave her your old guitar, since she was interested in learning.” There was a long pause.

“You what ?!” Sarah asked loudly. Joel felt his heart drop.

“Shit, I’m sorry. I thought you didn’t use it anymore and I sent you a text asking and you reacted with a thumbs up—” He paused, glaring at the wall as Sarah burst out laughing, light and breezy through the static. “Fuck you.” He muttered.

“I got you so good.” She wheezed. “You were terrified .”

“Yeah yeah.” Joel responded. “You been spendin’ too much time with Tommy.” Sarah scoffed.

“Nah, you shoulda seen that one coming, dad.” She joked. “But your friend sounds cool. Was she part of the Google deal?” 

“The what?”

“Yeah, your company signed with Google last month. Here lemme send you the article.” Sarah told him, “Just… gotta… find it… here we go.” His phone chimed, buzzing as the message sent. 

He grunted, reaching up to pull his phone off his shoulder.

“Why’s this important again?” He asked, messing up his password twice before finally getting in.

“Just thought you should know what a big deal that place is.” Sarah told him nonchalantly. Joel wasn’t listening though, his eyes wide at the picture of the article.

“Holy shit.” He muttered. “Holy shit .”

“What’s up, dad?” 

“This is Ellie.”

“What?!”

“‘ AbelCode CEO Eleanor Williams Signs 8 Billion Dollar Deal With Google ’.” He read out. “The girl on the front is Ellie!” 

“Flat Tire Girl is Eleanor Williams?!” Joel leaned back, running a hand over his face. “Jesus Christ.” He muttered. “I shoulda let her fuckin’ pay me.”

Chapter Text

“Hey there, Ellie,” Joel said, walking up behind where Ellie stood by the supply closet, laughing a little more than necessary when she leapt half-way out of her skin.

“Jesus Christ, dude!” she said, her face reddening when she turned to look at him. “What the fuck?!” 

Joel shook his head, holding back a smile. “Real impressive, kid. You probably got a foot of altitude there.”

“Fuck off!” she giggled, swatting him in the arm. “You’re just lucky I didn’t stab you!”

Joel raised an eyebrow. “Stab me?” 

She nodded, patting her pocket. “Got a knife in here.”

“Why do you have a knife in your pocket?”

“To stab old Texans, dude.” Ellie replied with a shrug. Joel scoffed, rolling his eyes.

“Yeah yeah,” he said. “Coffee?” 

The AbelCode kitchen was like the rest of the building, sleek and hyper-modern and spotless.

There was an espresso machine on the counter, foam and milk in stainless steel pitchers beside it.

“Y’know, there’s something I wanted to talk to you about,” Joel told Ellie where she was sitting in the counter next to him, her legs not touching the floor as she drank what he was still fairly sure was apple juice from a paper cup.

“Yeah, hit me,” she said, making a bubbly, slurping sound with her drink.

“So I was talkin’ to my daughter yesterday—the one who’s old guitar I gave you?” 

“ Gee -tar,” Ellie repeated in a terrible Texan accent. “But yeah, I think I remember her. She's in college, right?”

“Columbia.”

“Dope!”

“But that’s not the point, what I was sayin’ is…” he pulled out his iPhone from his pocket, slowly inputting the password with his index finger.

“Do you have Touch ID?” Ellie asked, one eyebrow raised as she watched him tap out the numbers.

“What is that?”

Ellie snorted. “Okay, so basically you don’t have to input your password every time. So, go to ‘ settings ’, right? Then you’re gonna want to—” She went quiet as Joel held up the article he Sarah had sent him. 

“Guess you weren’t lyin’ when you said you were rich.” 

Ellie sucked her teeth, nodding awkwardly as she looked at his phone.

“Guess not,” she replied before she took another long sip of juice. By the way she seemed to be chugging it, Joel once again wondered if it was alcohol. “Do you have a point here or…?”

“Not really.” Joel replied honestly. “Just thought it was something worth bringing up that I found out.” 

Ellie huffed out a small chuckle. “Are we good?” 

“Yeah, of course we’re good, kid.” Joel told her quickly. “‘Cause now I can’t get on your bad side.” 

“Fuckin’ dick!” Ellie punched his arm a little too enthusiastically. Joel winced.

“But seriously, we’re good,” he told her, noting the relief behind her eyes. He took another sip of his coffee, looking around the bright room. “You’re nineteen and you made this company?” he asked, his eyes snagging on a ‘ You Got This !’ sign behind the countertops.

“Sorta?” Ellie replied. “So I was seventeen, and I had finished this algorithm I’d been coding for years. But since I was still a minor all the labor and shit basically stopped me from doing much, so then what I did was… kinda illegal, I guess.” 

Joel raised an eyebrow. Ellie just shrugged, nodding. “Yup,” she said, popping the ‘ p ’. “Don’t tell anyone about this, by the way.”

“Lips are sealed.”

“Okay, so what I did was I helped this super small video sharing site implement it for free, because, y’know…”

“Stopping people taking advantage of children is good… morally.”

“Yeah, exactly! So it worked great, and then when I’m eighteen I turn it into an official company and I go into YouTube HQ to pitch the idea of me implementing my code to stop all that bad shit.” Ellie continued, accentuating the story with animated hand-gestures.

“Wait, I thought YouTube doesn’t do porn? How do people manage to get that stuff on there?”

“Well, it’s not public. Basically what some people do, this is fucked up by the way,” Joel nodded in agreement. “What they do is they take uh… commissions for specific… yeah, you know.” Joel nodded again, his mouth pulled down into a grimace. Awful, awful fucking monsters. “And so usually someone pays them and they send a link to an unlisted video. Basically my code was able to stop that, as well as find other shit that was public and that moderators had somehow missed.” Joel let out a low whistle.

“Mighty impressive,” he told her earnestly.

“ Mighty impressive ,” she imitated in his accent, sounding more like a cartoon character than him, in all honesty.

“Did you work with the police on this?” he asked. Ellie shook her head.

“Nope, all me. Plugging away at code on a library computer.” She saw the weird look he gave her. “There was only one at the group home and people were always getting in fights over it,” she clarified.

“So you must’ve done a ton of research on this stuff,” Joel commented lightly. Ellie’s eyes flicked down, her lips scrunching to the side.

“Uh… yeah, sure, I guess.” Before he could ask about the strange reaction she continued, her words quick and hands drumming on the table. “So I was hoping to get a couple bucks out of it, maybe even enough for a place to stay as I worked. But they’d seen what it did with the video sharing platform, and I walked out of there with an offer, not to buy the code, but just to use it… for a million fucking dollars!” Joel stared at her as she spread her hands like ‘ I know, right? ’. “And now I’m here.” 

“Well damn, kid, you’ve got a good head on your shoulders,” he told her, seeing the slightly embarrassed smile she tried to hide by bowing her head.

”Thanks,” she mumbled.

”Just sayin’ the truth,” he replied. Ellie cleared her throat, looking away.

”So, uh… what about you? Was being a janitor always the dream or…?” she asked, not-so-subtly redirecting the discussion away from her.

”Not exactly.” Joel told her. “I actually used to be a contractor.” 

“No shit? Like Bob the Builder?” Ellie asked, entirely genuine.

Joel huffed out a chuckle, nodding his head. ”Yeah, just like Bob the Builder.”

”Why the change in career path?”

Joel winced, one hand coming up to cup the back of his neck. “Got hurt.” 

”Oh.” Ellie nodded, giving him a sympathetic smile.

”Yeah, it’s been a rough year, I suppose.”

” I suppose .” Ellie repeated, once again mocking his accent. “Sorry K gotta stop. But you shoulda become a music teacher or something.” Joel raised an eyebrow. “Seriously! You’d be really good at it! Here, I totally fucking nailed ‘ Carrying Your Love with Me ’ last night!” She pulled out her phone, holding the screen towards him. “Well, that’s sorta an overstatement. Here, I recorded it, look at this!”

He watched as she showed him the video of her strumming three chords over and over, a small smile growing on his face as he listened to her singing George Strait off key.

”Well that was fantastic!” he told her once the video ended, clapping lightly. Ellie snorted, nodding.

” Sure it was , dude. But I appreciate the support,” she snarked. He heard a chime from her phone, her face scrunching. “Fuck, shit-head CEO’s coming in today.”

”Thought she was already here,” Joel joked. Ellie snorted, swatting him on the arm.

”Hardy-har-har, asshole. No, the CEO of Koyco is coming in to talk about a potential deal, so I’ve gotta go pretend to not hate him for a full fucking hour.”

”What’s wrong with him?”

”What isn’t? Listen, I gotta go but after work do you wanna go like… I don’t fuckin’ know, go eat some shit or something?” 

Joel nodded. “You gonna talk like that to the waiter?”

”No, that’s a you thing,” she replied, pushing herself up with a bounce that Joel could only dream of pulling off. “Cya.”

”Cya,” he repeated, watching as she started towards the elevators.

Joel🤍🩶🖤 >> Going too bee lat agan sea yoo at weight Joe

Sarah💝 >> ???

Joel🤍🩶🖤 >> Voice speech thing don’t work right. Going to be late again. See you at eight. 

—Joel

Sarah💝 >> I’m not even gonna try. Sounds great, dad❤️

***

“So, where are we headed?” Joel asked, heaving himself into the passenger seat of Ellie’s beat up green Prius. 

“It’s a surprise,” she told him, opening the glove compartment and pulling out a pair of cheap plastic sunglasses. “I hear old people need these so they don’t go blind,” she said, offering them to him.

He swatted her hand away. “That ain’t even close to true.” he retorted. She mouthed ‘ain't ’ back at him and he could almost hear her terrible impression. Then she put the sunglasses on and Joel had to turn away to hide how hard he was laughing at how ridiculous she looked.

“Oh fuck you, dude!” Ellie laughed. “I think I look super fuckin’ James Dean in these!” He shook his head, finally managing to gasp for breath after his laughter turned to wheezes.

“James Dean, George Strait? You gotta be the oldest damn nineteen-year-old I’ve ever met.” 

She flipped him off. “Y’know what, I was gonna take you to a nice place but I’m just gonna drop you off at a fuckin’ Chick-Fil-A.”

“What’s wrong with Chick-Fil-A?” he asked incredulously.

“I mean the homophobia isn't great,” she snarked. Joel raised an eyebrow, seeing her look over at him almost nervously.

“No shit?” 

She huffed out a breath. “I know right? Fuckin’ Chick-Fil-A? ” she shook her head mournfully. “I loved those Crispy Chicken Sandwiches.” 

The restaurant he brought her to was a small, local bakery called ‘ Armond’s ’, which wasn’t nearly as pretentious as the name suggested. It was a bit ruddy, but Joel could see the charm. It had exposed brick walls and dark, rich flooring, though Joel could tell that some of the edges had been shoddily laid. 

There was a display at the front, pastries and breads covered by a box of glass, their names stuck on with stickers a bit too small for Joel to be able to read.

No one was there yet, but Ellie led them to one of the two booths inside, worn brown leather cracked at creases and the table having one wobbly leg.

“I fuckin’ love this place,” Ellie told him, gesturing at the sign above the door. “My head of security’s husband owns it, he’s the best! His name’s Frank and he’s also pretty ancient so you should feel among your peers. Maybe this will be good practice for the old folks’ home?” Joel snorted, swatting Ellie lightly on the shoulder.

“You sure he ain’t already dead an’ your seein’ a ghost? Because… no one’s here, Ellie.” 

“He’s probably in the back. Here, if he’s not out in five minutes I’ll give you this dime I found outside.”  She brandished a small coin, placing it on the table and sliding it towards him so he could see that it was, in fact, a dime.

“Ain’t you a billionaire?” He asked, looking down at the coin.

“Well yeah, but I’m not gonna be a fucking snob about it.” She replied. “Like, this can buy me a sticker or something!” 

Joel shook his head, hiding a smile.“I appreciate the enthusiasm.” Ellie nodded. “What do I do with this if the restaurateur doesn't show?”

“You could swallow your pride and buy a sticker like a fucking man .” Ellie quipped. “Like, maybe one of those ‘ please don’t honk I’m old ’ ones for your car?” 

Joel scoffed, folding his arms.“I think that’s more than ten cents.”

“I dunno about that.” Ellie replied. “Once I was at this shop, and there was this dope-ass sticker there and—oh fuck, Frank!” Joel looked up.

“Sorry?”

“Frank’s here! My fucking dime, motherfucker!” Ellie snatched the dime off the table like he was trying to steal it. Joel looked over, clocking an older man coming out of the back room. He had a white beard, smile lines around his eyes crinkling when he saw Ellie.

“Hey there!” he said, waving as Ellie hopped up and helped Joel stand, holding in laughter at his various groans.  

“Sup?” she replied, walking up to the display he was standing behind. “This is Joel.” She gestured towards him. “Joel, Frank. Frank, Joel.”

“Nice to meet you,” Frank said, his tone suspicious and his eyes narrowed. He stuck out a hand for Joel to shake, his grip tight and painful as he shook Joel’s hand sharply. He was strong for a guy who looked to be in his sixties.

“Yeah, you too?” Joel replied, unsure. “Nice place you got here,” he added conversationally, remembering the time Sarah had joked that whenever he was in a new place he acted like a guard dog. Apparently it was actually anxiety, according to a therapist, but that was something he tried not to think about too much.

“Yeah, thanks.” Frank gestured towards Ellie. “This one’s basically our main customer."

“Speaking of, I’ll take my usual. And Joel, what do you want?” 

Joel squinted at the label on a loaf of banana bread. “I’d like the… drip-dris-drive—”

“He’ll take the drizzled honey banana bread.” Ellie interrupted, gesturing at the label. “Ignore his old eyes, he has cataracts.” Joel had had cataracts the previous year, something he didn’t mention as he lightly shoved her away, not quite minding her surprised, almost delighted squeal.

“Right away,” Frank said. His eyes flicked towards Joel. “I’ll be back in less than a minute.” He walked into the back, a security camera swiveling towards Joel after a few seconds.

“It’s nothing personal.” Ellie told him at the glare he shot it. “He and Bill—that’s my head of security—are pretty protective of me because I had to stay with them for a couple days a few months ago.”

“Really?” Joel asked. “Why?”

“Stalker.” Ellie replied nonchalantly. 

Joel blanched, looking at her like she might collapse from a sedative at any moment.

“Are you alright? What happened?”

“No man, I’m not alright. I died, obviously.” Ellie muttered, one hand absentmindedly tapping on the display. “No but it wasn’t a big deal. I’ve dealt with worse.” 

Joel frowned, the statement opening up a whole new line of questions. Maybe that knife in her pocket wasn’t so weird anymore.

“Hey, let’s not talk about it right now,” Ellie told him as Frank exited the back, a tray of quite honestly delicious-smelling food balanced in his hands. “Dude, you can have a piece of my tart. It is so fucking good!” Ellie told him, abandoning the unsettling thread of conversation they were on. “But I want some of that bread because holy shit that looks amazing!” She grabbed his wrist excitedly, quickly apologizing at the grimace he made when the movement wrenched his back. 

“Hey Joel?” she said quietly, once they were back at their booth. “Thanks for this. For… today, I guess.”

“‘Course, kiddo.” Joel told her with a small smile. “Anytime. Y’know, this Sunday my brother’s havin’ a barbecue, you should come. He said I’m always allowed to bring friends.” 

Ellie grinned, nodding lightly. “Yeah, sounds good,” she said, “I’ll be there.”

Chapter Text

Chapter Text

“You ready for this?” Joel asked, looking over at where Ellie sat in the passenger seat of his truck.

Today she wore an oversized red and blue Spider-Man jacket over a gray T-shirt, the spider logo split in half on the two sides of the zipper.

“Yeah, man. It’s gonna be great,” she replied, though he could detect an underlying layer in her voice, something almost like fear. 

If he didn’t know her well enough from the week they’d known each other, he wouldn’t think anything of it. She didn’t look nervous, her features schooled into a calm expression, but there was a franticness to her usual bravado, quick flashes of something he couldn’t recognize. 

“How many people are gonna be there?” she asked casually.

“Just us and them.” Joel told her, “It’s fun, we do it every month.”

“Dope.” Ellie agreed. “And it’s Tommy and Mary?”

“Tommy and Maria.” Joel corrected. “And their son Kevin. He’s a sweet kid—turned five last month.” 

“Cool.” 

Joel just nodded. 

After a few seconds of silence she piped up again, “Y’know, when I was like fifteen I stayed in an all-ages group home for a while, and there was this five-year-old. She, like, cried and screamed a bunch, but she was cute.” 

Joel held back a smile. If there was anything he’d learned about Ellie since they’d met, it was that if there was enough silence she’d find a way to fill it.

“That’s interestin’,” he told her, “what was her name?”

“Shelly.” Ellie said simply, her lips scrunching to the side. “I’ve always regretted not really helping out with her, which a bunch of the other kids were doing. I was just so fucked up back then that I couldn’t really do anything .” She shook her head, a bitter huff freeing itself from her throat. 

“Why?” Joel’s voice was quiet. Ellie turned to him, eyes wide like he was barreling towards her in traffic. Then he blinked and the look was gone. She was back to being the weird kid in the Spider-Man jacket.

“Rough couple years, I guess.” She shrugged. “Hey, is your brother also Texan?”

Joel pursed his lips, forcing himself not to push for more information and go along with the subject change.

“Yeah, he is.” Joel told her. “We grew up in Austin. He’s eight years younger than me and our Ma was real busy tryin’a make a livin’ for us, so I basically raised him.” Part of him hoped Ellie would give him some information in exchange for the statement, but she remained as tight-lipped as ever.

“He was lucky to have you.” Ellie told him. Joel smiled at her before turning his eyes back to the road.

“I’m lucky to have him .”

When Joel had first moved to Boston, still trying not to be bitter about the fact he had to move to keep Sarah’s schooling safe, Tommy’s help had chafed. 

He was the older brother, not Tommy. He should be helping him , not the other way around.

He’d struggle after the accident, hating the wheelchair and the sudden loss of movement, the sudden need for outside help.

His whole life he was the caregiver. He helped people, and part of him was humiliated for needing help now.

He’d yelled a lot at people who didn’t deserve it. Family, doctors, random strangers offering to help him up stairs.

Once Tommy had walked in on him face down on the floor of his kitchen, struggling to get up, his phone clutched his hand but refusing to call for help.

He’d helped Joel back into his chair and sat down in front of him on the couch, the fearful anger radiating off him. Joel recognized it as the same anger he had felt when he had  caught Sarah sneaking back into their house after not telling him about a rager she was going to.

“Joel, you gotta cut this macho bullshit,” Tommy had told him seriously. “You can’t do this to us. We need you more than you need your pride, so quit doing stupid things to feel like a man because a real man ain’t scared to ask for help.” 

Joel had scoffed, looking away. “I don’t need help.” He told him, folding his arms. 

“Fuck off,” Tommy had spat. “If you remember a single goddamn thing your taught me growin’ up, you know you’re bein’ a fuckin’ hypocrite.” Tommy shook his head. “You think it didn’t suck to ask for help when I got home from the military? Of course it did, but I manned up and I took it, because I knew that bein’ there for you and Sarah was more important than feelin’ big.” He shook his head, jaw quivering. “Why can’t you see the same thing?”

After that moment Joel knew he had to change. He’d stopped with the “macho bullshit”, started actually working on his physical therapy. He’d even started calling Tommy or Sarah when he needed help. It was hard, but he did it, and now he was walking and working and going to barbecues.

He really was lucky to have him.

“Hey there, Joel!” Tommy greeted, waiting by their parking spot and helping Joel out of the car. “And you must be Ellie!” he said, turning to her as she got out of the passenger's side.

Ellie gulped, glancing once towards Joel before looking back at Tommy.

“Yeah, I am. Nice to meet you,” she said, holding out her hand to shake. Tommy took it, pumping it enthusiastically in the air.

“Well it is wonderful to meet you,” Tommy told her. “We have got a fun night ahead of us. Joel over here’s pretty good on the grill, believe it or not.” 

Joel rolled his eyes, looking away.

“They’re alright,” he said.

“Somehow I could’ve guessed that.” Ellie replied with a smirk. “C’mon, man! Quit bein’ modest, I bet your hamburgers or whatever fuckin’ rule.”

“Oh, they do.” Tommy told her. “That’s the only reason I invited this buzzkill over.”

“Makes sense, he really has no other value,” Ellie agreed solemnly.

Joel scoffed, folding his arms as he followed them inside to the courtyard of their apartment.

“‘ Fun night ahead of us ’ my ass,” he muttered, not quite able to hide his smile.

“Ellie, this is Maria, my sister-in law,” Joel said, gesturing towards the woman. Maria wasn’t tall by any stretch of the word, but she still towered above Ellie.

“Nice to meet you, Ellie,” Maria told her, pulling her into a one-sided hug. Ellie looked over at Joel, eyes wide.

“Uh, yeah. N-nice to meet you too,” she said nervously. “I’m Ellie—er, fuck, Joel already told you.” 

Maria sniffed out a laugh, giving Joel a small smile.

“It’s alright, Ellie,” she said kindly. 

The barbecue was in the apartment building's courtyard, green grass and manicured trees bright and happy in the almost-summer weather.

They’d barely set foot on the grass before Joel saw a small blur barging towards him.

“Ucky!” The blur shrieked, not slowing down. Joel cracked a smile at the old nickname, easing himself down onto one knee as Kevin zoomed toward him.

“Hey, big guy!” he greeted, grunting as Kevin flung himself into Joel’s chest, squeezing as tight as he could with his little arms. Joel ruffled the young boy’s curly, dark hair, kissing the top of his head. “How’s my favorite nephew?” he asked fondly.

“I-I learnded about the-the car.” Kevin told Joel excitedly.

“Oh, did you?” Joel asked, even though he had no idea what he was talking about. 

“Big car.” Kevin told him with a nod.

“Well, Kevin, there’s someone I want you to meet.” Joel said, pushing himself to his feet with a grunt. “This is my friend Ellie. Ellie, this is my nephew Kevin.”

“Hi there!” Ellie said, leaning down to look him in the eye. “It’s nice to meet you, Kevin.” 

Kevin looked her up and down, staring at her for a moment before a switch seemed to flick in his brain and he grabbed her hand. 

“Do you like Spider-Man?” Kevin asked, pointing at her jacket.

“Fuck yeah!” Ellie exclaimed, opening her mouth in a silent ‘ oh ’ when she realized what she’d just said. “Shit, sorry—er, fuck—I mean… oh Jesus Christ…” she shrugged apologetically at them, her cheeks flushing. 

“Kevin, why don’t you show Ellie your Spider-Man action figure?” Maria told him. Kevin nodded frantically, pulling Ellie along by the hand.

“Uh, okay… cya.” Ellie told them awkwardly while being dragged away by the hyper five-year-old.

The second she was out of earshot Maria turned towards him, a joking smile on her face.

“I should've guessed that Ellie was some random kid you met and not your date.” Maria told him teasingly. Joel shrugged helplessly.

“You big ol’ softie.” Tommy punched him on the shoulder. “She seems like a sweet kid, though.”

Joel looked over to where she was talking excitedly to Kevin, her hands moving exaggeratedly in the air.

“Yeah,” he said with a small smile. “She is.”

“Holy shit, Joel, these look fucking amazing.” Ellie told him, staring at the burgers he’d made from behind him.

Tommy snorted, patting Kevin on the head. “Y’know in highschool Joel won a baking contest with these,” he told her slyly. Joel rolled his eyes, looking back towards them.

“Seriously?” Ellie asked excitedly. 

“Well everyone else made pastries and it was Texas, so I’m gettin’ too much credit.” He lowered his voice, whispering exaggeratedly into her ear. “But I am pretty great at it.” He stuck a toothpick in one of the burgers, handing it to her on a brightly colored plastic plate. 

Ellie took one of the burgers slowly, reverently lifting it to her mouth. 

“Holy fuck!” She exclaimed. “Dude, these are fuckin’ amazing !” 

Joel chuckled, ruffling her hair gently as she started devouring the burger.

“Yeah yeah, I know.” He told her. “Y’know, when I was younger I dreamed of gettin’ into the CIA, maybe even owning a restaurant.” 

Ellie scrunched her eyebrows. “You wanted to join the CIA to… own a restaurant?” She asked, looking up just long enough to say that before going back to her burger.

“Culinary Institute of America.” Tommy butted in. “But I could see where the confusion came in.” He patted Joel on the shoulder, taking the next hamburger he handed out. “Woulda aced it too if he didn’t hafta drop out to help support our family. It was rough, but he still cooked food for the local homeless shelter all the time. I think you helped those people a lot, Joel.” 

Joel shook his head, making a ‘ shoo ’ gesture. “It’s just food, Tommy.”

“I dunno,” Ellie jumped in. “I would’ve fucking loved to have your food when I was on the streets.”

They all went silent, Joel and Tommy staring at her wide-eyed.

“Shit, don’t get weird, guys,” Ellie pleaded, her shoulders raising defensively. “People always get weird when I say that.”

Joel blinked, snapping himself out of the momentary shock.

“Sorry kiddo, just surprised was all,” he said, not wanting to scare her back into the vague answers to questions about herself he’d gotten since he’d known her. 

He elbowed Tommy harshly, his brother quickly jumping in.

“Yeah, absolutely. We’re sorry you had to go through that.”

Ellie blinked, looking between them like she was expecting them to burst out laughing.

“Yeah, thanks, I guess?” she said, unsure. 

Joel nodded, placing a hand on her shoulder and squeezing gently. “Hey, you want another burger?”

Ellie looked down to the singular bite left on her plate, popping it into her mouth as her shoulders dropped just a bit.

“Fuck yeah,” she said, her voice just a bit hollower than it had been. “I’d love one.”

Joel gave her a small smile, putting a new one on her plate.

“There you go. Best burger in Boston.”

As Ellie started happily munching on his food, he couldn’t help but watch her with a fond smile.

It was a good night.

He should’ve known it wouldn’t stay that way.

“Y’know, if you take those two stars at the end of the dip part of the Big Dipper, they point right to the North Star,” Ellie told Joel, pointing up at the starry night sky. It was nearing nine PM, and Joel could feel his energy leaving him like a popped balloon, but Ellie was so entranced in the stars he could bring himself to leave yet.

“Really?” he asked, suddenly missing her voice in the silence that fell over them.

“Yeah, and see that star in the handle? That’s actually a double star. That one looks like a double star, but that other one actually is.” 

Joel nodded thoughtfully. “And what is a double star?” 

Ellie looked over at him, flashing him a grin. “Two stars…” 

Joel rolled his, waving her off. “Okay, smartass.” 

Ellie snorted. “You love me and you know it.”

“You can occasionally be kinda endearing.” Joel replied.

They heard a click behind them, both spinning to find Tommy crouched in the wet grass, his beloved Canon camera aimed at them. 

“Perfect.” He replied. “That’s one for the yearbook.”

Joel looked over at Ellie, expecting a comment about not having a yearbook, but she stayed frozen, staring at the light shining next to the camera lens.

“Ellie, you there?” Joel asked, a hint of nervousness in his voice.

“I-uh…” Ellie stammered, “Yeah, I’m fine.” She gave Joel a half-hearted thumbs up. “Just got startled, was all.” She looked over at Tommy. “What did you say?”

Tommy shot Joel a confused look, he just responded with a shrug.

“Just said it was a great photo.” Tommy said carefully. Ellie nodded.

“Love a… love a good photo.”

“That’s… great?” Tommy replied slowly. He turned to Joel, changing the subject. “I’m gonna go take Kevin up to bed now, big guy’s had a long day. Maria’s already there, but I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

“Yeah, sure, we’ll be waiting.” Joel replied, reaching over to ruffle Ellie’s hair absentmindedly.

She let out a sharp breath, flinching back as Joel’s hand neared her.

He and Tommy stared.

“I-I’m sorry.” She said frantically. “I— Fuck— I just…” She shook her head, looking away. Joel nodded towards the apartment, a gesture for Tommy to leave so he could handle it.

Tommy slinked away, looking back at them every few seconds as he made his way towards where Kevin was sitting in the grass.

“Hey, are you alright?” Joel asked, turning back to Ellie.

She shrugged jerkily, her voice shaky.

“I’m okay, I’m fine. I-I’m fine.” She stammered, her eyes following Tommy as he led Kevin into the elevator off the courtyard.

“No you’re not.” Joel argued, “here, lemme make sure you don’t have a fever—” stupidly, he reached towards her again. 

Ellie let out a small whimper, flinching back once more. Joel drew his hand back as quickly as he could, mentally scolding himself.

“Sorry, I didn’t—” She didn’t even finish the sentence, sitting down hard in the grass, curling up into a tight ball as she clawed at her temples weakly. Murmuring “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to.” On repeat.

“Hey, don’t be sorry. It’s okay, you’re okay. Ellie? Ellie, please talk to me.” Joel said frantically, kneeling down to get on her level. “What do you need, kiddo?” He asked, “Please, Ellie, talk to me. Please .” Ellie let out a small whine, clenching her eyes shut. She was hyperventilating, her small form heaving as she tried to fight for breath. “You’re gonna throw up or pass out unless you breathe ,” Joel told her desperately. He put his hands on his chest, taking a deep, demonstrative breath. “C’mon, Ellie, in, out. In, out. In, out.” 

Ellie didn’t seem to hear him, her whispered apologies morphing into a terrifying chant. “He’s not here. I'm not there. He’s not here. I’m not there. He’s not here. I’m not there.” 

“Who?” Joel pleaded. “Who’s not here? Where aren’t you? Ellie, please talk to me !”

“He’s not here. I’m not there. He’s not here. I’m not there. He’s not here. I'm not there.”

“Ellie please !” He looked around frantically, desperately trying to think back to what he’d been told to do when Tommy’d been having panic attacks after his time in the military.

Ground him in the moment . Tommy’s therapist had told him.

Joel’s eyes snagged on a glass of ice water next to the grill. He stood, ignoring the pain in his knees as he grabbed it.

“He’s not here. I’m not there. He’s not here. I’m not there. He’s not here. I’m not there. He’s not—” he poured the cup of ice water straight onto her head.

Her breath hitched, her frantic muttering halting. She looked up at him, her eyes wide, her hair sticking to her forehead from the liquid.

“Ellie, breath. C’mon, kiddo.” He told her, resuming his demonstrative breaths.

Ellie’s breaths turned halting, her small hands coming to rest on top of his, just above his heart.

”There we go, good girl. In, out. In, out.” Joel told her as her gasps slowed to inhales and hiccups. “Can you speak?”

”Yeah.” Ellie told him roughly.

”Is there anything you need?”

”No.”

Joel sighed, leaning back and taking a deep, relieved breath.

”Is that normal?” he asked her softly.

“Yeah, man, these are normal, healthy panic attacks,” Ellie snapped back, immediately getting defensive.

Joel nodded. “You’re right, stupid thing to say.” He looked over at her, craning his neck to see her face. “Do you need to go to the doctor? The ER?”

“No, I’m fine. These happen all the time.” Ellie replied.

“ All the time ?” Joel repeated. Ellie scrunched her face up, giving him an angry shrug.

“They happen commonly enough for me to know what I’m doing but uncommonly enough that it’s not a huge problem.” She snipped back.

Joel frowned. “Ellie, please just talk to me.” 

Ellie huffed, looking away. “I’ve had them since I was fourteen. It’s shitty but it’s fine. I’m dealing with it.” Joel pursed his lips, holding back a comment on that part. “I just… it’s whatever. It’s not a big deal.” 

Joel sighed, making a mental note to talk to her about the definition of ‘not a big deal ’ and ‘ whatever ’ later.

”We’ll circle back to this in a bit.” He told her. “Why don’t we head home. I have a guest room if you’re okay with staying with me.” Ellie nodded and Joel held back a sigh of relief. “Okay,” he said, “we’re okay. We’re gonna be okay.” Ellie nodded once more as he got to his feet with a groan, helping her up. “I’m here for you, kiddo,” he told her earnestly, pushing himself to his feet and offering her a hand. “I’ve gotchu.”

They said their goodbyes to Tommy and spent the drive home in silence, Ellie staring out the window at the city lights.

They made their way back to Joel’s apartment, taking the elevator. They moved in quiet comradery, the silent promise of ‘ we’ll talk later ’ hanging over both of them.

He got to his door, fishing out his keys from his pocket and picking out the right one on the first try.

He pushed the door open with a creek, freezing at what he saw inside.

”Hey dad,” Sarah said, standing in the middle of his living room, a Columbia shirt adorning her thin frame. “Surprise!”

Chapter Text

“Sarah!” Joel exclaimed as his daughter launched herself into his arms. He barely managed to catch her, folding around her and swaying her gently. 

She’d hit a late growth spurt, only a few inches shorter than him now. He didn’t engulf her like he once did, the thought simultaneously existential and beautiful.

“What are you doin’ here, baby?” Joel asked, finally letting go of her. “Is everythin’ alright?”

“Yeah,” Sarah told him with a laugh. “I’ve been planning this for weeks! I told you school ended later than it did.” 

Joel chuckled, kissing the top of her head.

“Lemme guess, Tommy gave you the idea?”

“He changed the barbeque to today so I could have my supervillain moment.”

“‘Course he did.” Joel held onto her shoulders, looking Sarah up and down. To his relief, he did not spot any glaring injuries or signs of sickness.

She was wearing a Columbia University hoodie, her hair tied back and messy from the drive. “How are you doing? You’re feelin’ alright?” he asked.

“I’m fine, dad.”

“Are you eating enough?”

“Yeah.”

“Sarah…”

“I said yeah!”

“Swear?”

Sarah sighed. “Yeah, I swear. Ask Dr. Eve, nothing’s changed.”

Sarah developing an eating disorder when she was sixteen was still one of the hardest things Joel had ever had to deal with. Luckily she’d been doing well for years, but every time she left for college Joel worried she was falling back into old habits. She’d blown up at him her first year at Columbia—a few months before his injury—for calling a staff member to make sure she was doing well, something he still wasn’t completely sure he felt bad about, though it did lead to a longer conversation about his hovering.

“Okay, baby. I trust you,” he told her softly. “I just worry.”

“I know, dad,” Sarah told him quietly. “I understand.”

A throat cleared behind them. “Uh… I think I’m just gonna go…”

Joel and Sarah turned to find Ellie standing awkwardly in the doorway, her hands clasped together as she pursed her lips, nodding for no reason.

Sarah looked at Ellie. Joel looked at Sarah. Sarah looked at Joel. Ellie looked at her shoes.

Everything was awkwardly, cringe-inducingly, absolutely silent .

Ellie looked back up at Joel. Joel looked at her. Sarah looked between them.

“We’re not fucking.” Ellie blurted out.

Joel choked on air.

“What?” Sarah asked.

“Just…” Ellie continued awkwardly, her hands tapping out a quick pattern. “Y’know… this probably seemed weird from your point of view, your dad bringing home a girl late at night.” Sarah looked over at Joel, who shook his head as if to say ‘ we aren’t! ’.

“O-okay…” Sarah told them. “Yeah, I-I didn’t think so.”

“Awesome… so, uh… Jesus this is weird,” she muttered, running a hand through her hair. “Listen I-I think I’m gonna head out. It was great to meet you, Sarah, your dad’s told me a lot about you.” 

Sarah looked over at Joel questioningly. “Thanks, um…”

“Ellie.”

Sarah blanched, looking over at Joel, her eyes wide. “ You’re Ellie Williams?”

“Oh,” Ellie winced, “yeah.”

“I didn’t recognize you without the… cover of Vanity Fair behind you…”

“It’s been a weird night,” Ellie replied. “Joel, are you coming into work tomorrow? I have a… thing .”

“I think I’ll take the day off,” Joel said. 

Ellie nodded. “Cool, makes sense.” She gave them both a small smile. “I’ll just… go now.”

“Call me if you need anythin’, alright?” Joel asked as she opened the door.

“Have fun with your daughter, Joel,” she replied, not answering. She didn’t even look at him as she flashed a thumbs up.

The door closed with a soft ‘ click ’.

He stared at the door for a moment before looking over at Sarah.

“Dad, what ?”

“It’s complicated,” he told her tiredly. “I’ll explain in the mornin’.”

“And so we’ve known each other for about a month, and she’s a good kid, y’know? It feels like she’s under a lot of pressure, and doesn’t have a ton of support, so I try to be there for her,” Joel finished. He and Sarah were sitting in Frank’s pastry shop, sharing a large, chocolatey brownie.

Sarah nodded, a dark crumb stuck next to her lips. Joel gestured to the place on his own face, a silent, coded signal that Sarah immediately picked up on, her tongue reaching out to grab it. 

Joel huffed out a chuckle.

“And why did you bring her back home last night?” Sarah asked slowly. 

Joel just shook his head. “It’s complicated. Not my place to say.” 

Sarah pursed her lips, nodding. She didn’t seem pleased with the answer, but it was clear she didn’t assume the worst. Joel had thankfully never given her the impression that he’d get with someone younger than her.

“She sounds great,” she told him earnestly, one hand coming out to rest on his forearm. “Glad you’re making friends.”

Joel rolled his eyes, sniffing humorously. “Yeah yeah, you’re forgettin’ who the parent is.”

Sarah shrugged. “ I’ve never had trouble with friends.”

“We get it, brat,” Joel told her affectionately. “You were popular.” 

They talked for a long time, Joel about AbelCode and Sarah about Columbia, her classes, which teachers she liked, which ones were subtly sexist.

They went through three more brownies, stomachs hurting from laughter as well as the sweets.

But just when they were about to leave, gathering their crumpled up napkins and plastic forks, the door swung open.

The man who entered was tall, a dark button-up adorning his skinny frame. His eyes immediately locked on Joel, who’s nerves sparked as he walked over to them. 

“Do you know that guy?” Sarah asked as he beelined across the shop.

“No.” Joel replied quietly, standing up. He strode forward a few steps, intercepting him before he got to Sarah.

“Joel Miller?” the man asked, extending his hand.

“Yeah?” Joel shook cautiously, something about the man unsettling him.

“Could I talk to you outside?” 

Joel looked the man up and down. He was maybe in his late twenties, slicked-back hair, gelled up an inch above his forehead, eyes ice-blue behind his wire glasses.

“Sorry, I’m busy right now.” Joel told him, not bothering to make his voice at all apologetic.

“It’s about Eleanor Williams.”

Joel paused, glancing back at Sarah.

‘ You okay? ’ she mouthed. Joel nodded.

“Alright.”

Joel followed the man outside, stopping on the concrete in front of the bakery, surrounded by a small pavilion of shops and restaurants.

“Is everythin’ okay? Is Ellie alright?” he asked urgently, panic spiking in his mind. A spiraling storm of anxiety pulsing mercilessly in his stomach. “Is she hurt?”

“No, I believe she’s receiving a ‘ Great Minds ’ award at the moment, actually,” the man told him. Joel frowned. Is that what she invited me to? “No, I actually want to ask you about her.”

“Ask me about her?” Joel repeated, “Ask me what?”

“Well I’m putting together an article—” the man started. Joel’s sharp scoff cut him off. 

“I’m not givin’ you some gossip for your kick-bait news story.”

“I think you mean click-bait.” Fuck. He did mean click-bait . “And no, I assure you that I’m not some tabloid journalist, alright? This is a serious, important article.”

“Does Ellie know you’re writin’ it?”

“Did Clinton know they were making the Star Report? Sometimes the most important things aren’t known until they’re written.”

“I think he did know about the Star Report…” Joel told him. “Also fuck you, Ellie isn’t the damn president, alright? She’s a twenty-year-old girl.”

“She’s a bit more than that if my source is to be believed,” the reporter said, flashing Joel a disgusting smile. Joel made an incredulous sound, his fists tightening until his knuckles were pale and stretched taut.

“I’m not participatin’ in this. Get away from me, and if you ever try to talk to me or my daughter again I’ll call the police.” He turned to storm off, but the man’s next words stopped him.

“Apparently Elleanor Williams was spotted going into your apartment late last night. Now, as a reporter it’s my job to be impartial, but some of my readers might draw some… nasty conclusions about you and a girl who isn’t even old enough to drink.”

“It ain’t like that,” Joel told him, voice steely.

“I never said it was. Just that…” the man shrugged, “you never know what people will think.”

They stood for a moment, locked in a silent cage match as Joel calculated everything this article could do to ruin his life. All the paparazzi that would question him. Question Sarah .

“What do you want to know?” he asked, glowering as the man pulled out a notepad.

“Thank you, I’ll be sure to be… careful how I present some situations.” Joel didn’t justify that with a response. “Has Eleanor Williams—Ellie, as you call her—told you any specifics about her time in the US foster system?”

“No.”

“Alright. Has she mentioned anything at all about her childhood?”

“Not really.”

“I see.” The man scribbled something in his notebook. Joel wanted to strangle him. “Not even any offhanded comments about anything like past troubles or people in her life?”

I’ve dealt with worse. The words came unbound into Joel’s head, rattling around his skull in an endless loop.

“None.”

“And does the name ‘ David Byrne ’ mean anything to you?”

“No.” The man smiled, patting him on the shoulder twice.

“Awesome, thank you for your cooperation, Mr. Miller. I’ll be in touch.”

“Hey, what was that?” Sarah asked once he sat back down. 

“Nothin’ important,” Joel muttered, not meeting her eyes.

“You sure?” 

He nodded. “It ain’t your concern. I just need to talk to Ellie.”

The next day Joel walked into the AbelCode headquarters, beelining for Ellie’s office on the second floor. He walked up the floating staircase, ignoring the pain in his back from the short climb.

He’d been to Ellie’s office a few times when she’d been too swamped to stop work for lunch. It was sleek and modern, wood and glass and marble looking out over the large first floor.

He saw Ellie sitting at her large desk, a pair of headphones covering her ears as she worked on her computer, bobbing up and down to the music.

He rapped on the door, almost laughing as Ellie jumped in her fancy office chair, accidentally knocking her mouse off of the desk. 

She looked up, her face brightening when she saw him. Joel tried to take a snapshot of the moment in his mind, knowing he was about to ruin any good mood she might have had.

She walked over to the large glass door, swinging it open with a hilarious amount of effort on her part.

“How was your day with Sarah?” she asked, letting him in. “Fuckin’ awesome?”

“It was good,” Joel replied distantly, sitting in the pleather chair on the other side of her desk.

“That’s great!” Ellie replied, though he could tell she wasn’t saying something. “You know that thing I invited you to yesterday? Or two days ago? Whatever, the point is I got this huge fucking award because—”

“Ellie, we need to talk,” Joel cut her off, voice measured. He saw Ellie’s expression falter, her easy chatter grinding to a momentary halt, the emergency gears kicking in.

“What did you think we were doing?” she joked nervously, her voice high-pitched and fake-cheerful, some plastic replica of joviality.

“A reporter tried blackmailin’ me yesterday,” Joel barreled on, not taking the bait, the easy way out she had just offered him, that her eyes practically begged him to take. “He wanted information about you .”

“Shit, I’m sorry—” she started before he cut her off.

“Wasn’t your fault,” he told her, his eyes boring into hers, trying to drill into her skull that some shitty reporter’s actions weren’t her fault. He knew her well enough to know that’s where her mind would jump to. “Just thought you could use the warning. He’s askin’ about your past, and some guy named David Byrnes.”

The fake smile dropped off her face. She looked down, nodding rapidly. She’s nervous-nodding again . 

Joel reached out, intertwining their fingers.

Ellie looked up at him sharply, her eyes wide, lips pursed together so tightly that they went as white as her face had gone.

She looked back down, resuming her nodding.

Joel tried to look her in the eyes, but she avoided his gaze, vision fixed on the light of the monitor screen that sat in front of her.

“Y’alright?” Joel asked, already knowing what she would say, and how different it was from the truth.

“I’m fine.” She said, the lie coming quick and unconvincing in her shaky voice. “I just… I just need to figure something out.”

“What do you need, Ellie?” he asked, squeezing her hand. “What can I do?”

Ellie just shook her head. “Go be with Sarah, Joel. I’ll have HR give you some more vacation days. You should stay away for a couple days.” 

He opened his mouth to argue, but she didn’t let him.

 “Just go, man.” 

Hesitantly, Joel stood, looking down at her, nerves sparking in his stomach. 

He started heading towards the door, his heart pounding in his throat. Something was wrong. So, so wrong .

He took a deep breath, then he turned back to her, planting his feet in the doorway.

“No. Y’know what? You’re the fuckin’ CEO—delegate this. Tomorrow you’re spending the day with me and Sarah.”

“Joel, I can’t—”

“Yes, you can.”

They looked at each other for a long moment, battling in a silent staring contest of mutual worry.

“Fin” Ellie said, the first one to break.

Joel smiled at her. “Call me this evenin’.”

“ Evenin’ ,” she mocked. She nodded, not nervously this time. “Yes, sir.”

He turned away, but her voice drifted over to him, a quiet mutter he just barely caught.

“Thanks, Joel.”

He turned back to her one last time.

“Anythin’, Ellie.”

Chapter Text

7:19PM

From: [email protected]

To: [email protected]

Subject: Ellie Williams Article

Hello,

This is the AbelCode PR team reaching out on behalf of Eleanor M. Williams. We’ve recently come into the knowledge that you are working on a quite personal and sensitive article regarding our esteemed CEO for the publication ‘Renown Media’. If these statements are correct, please contact us immediately.

Best,

The AbelCode PR Team

7:33PM

From: [email protected]

To: [email protected]

Subject: Re: Ellie Williams Article

Yes, I am currently working on an article for Renown Media on the biography of Ellie Williams.

7:56PM

From: [email protected]

To: [email protected]

Subject: Re: Ellie Williams Article

Good to know! We’d love for you to send it over, so we could make sure it doesn’t contain any misinformation or harmful statements about Ms. Williams or the company!

7:59PM

From: [email protected]

To: [email protected]

Subject: Re: Ellie Williams Article

I don’t believe that would be ethical of me, since as a reporter I’m bound by journalistic integrity not to be biased, and you are an inherently biased source.

8:10PM

From: [email protected]

To: [email protected]

Subject: Re: Ellie Williams Article

Excellent point! However, when regarding a topic this sensitive, we always want to make sure we respect the victim and tell it in a way they approve of, don’t we? Also, this matter could get very legally dicey for Renown Media, since it involves an at-the-time minor, and since many of the people involved have signed NDAs.

8:15PM

From: [email protected]

To: [email protected]

Subject: Re: Ellie Williams Article

When the victim in this situation is a billionaire, practically a celebrity, there should not be any expectation of privacy. The shareholders of the company also deserve to know this information, since these events have and will heavily impact the course of Ms. William’s actions.

8:23PM

From: [email protected]

To: [email protected]

Subject: Re: Ellie Williams Article

You make interesting points! However, we still feel that the events should be portrayed in a way that the victim feels comfortable with. While we understand your moral stance, we cannot support any actions that harm Ms. Williams, or any victims of the heinous crimes that have been committed. If you do not submit your article for our approval, we will contact Renown Media’s law representatives.

8:30PM

From: [email protected]

To: [email protected]

Subject: Re: Ellie Williams Article

The article is happening.

***

9:36PM

From: [email protected]

To: [email protected]

Subject: Problem

We reached out to Gerald Aldin, but he isn’t budging.

9:39PM

From: [email protected]

To: [email protected]

Subject: Re: Problem

Shit. K, reach out to the lawyers. Threaten to sue idc just fucking kill it

***

10:14PM

From: [email protected]

To: [email protected]

Subject: Ellie Williams Article

Hello,

This is the AbelCode PR team. It has recently come to our attention that Renown Media is planning on publishing an article on Eleanor M. Williams that contains discussion of sensitive topics.

We would love for you to send it to us, just so we can point out any misinformation or information Ms. Williams doesn’t want shared. However, if you publish the article without our approval, you are in violation of the law of ‘Publication of Private Facts’, and we could pursue legal action.

Best,

The AbelCode PR Team

11:32PM

From: [email protected]

To: [email protected]

Subject: Re: Ellie Williams Article

Hey there!

We here at Renown Media completely understand your concerns, however we think you’ll find that there is an exception in the law if it involves something worthy of public interest, and in this case this information is relevant to Ms. Williams’ theoretical case, since her company is publicly owned.

We support victims and think their stories deserve to be told, which is why we’re not going to be backing down on our position.

Sincerely,

The Renown Media Legal Team

11:45PM

From: [email protected]

To: [email protected]

Subject: Re: Ellie Williams Article

While we completely understand wanting to help victims by sharing their stories, in this case the victim does not want her story shared, and it would be incredibly disrespectful to disregard that.

11:51PM

From: [email protected]

To: [email protected]

Subject: Re: Ellie Williams Article

Our position has not changed.

Sincerely, 

The Renown Media Legal Team

***

12:32AM

From: [email protected]

To: [email protected]

Subject: Dude.

Hey man, I got your email from Ronan. Listen, you know why I’m contacting you. Please don’t publish that shit.

4:03AM

From: [email protected]

To: [email protected]

Subject: Re: Dude

Hello Ms. Williams! I must say that I’m surprised to hear from you! I completely understand your concerns, however I will unfortunately not be striking the story. Apologies, but the public has the right to know.

4:06AM

From: [email protected]

To: [email protected]

Subject: Re: Dude.

Call me. 6178257976

***

Transcript of call between Eleanor Williams (EW) and G. Anderson (GA) written up by Owen Moore (OM)

GA: You’re recording?

OM: Yeah.

GA: Good.

*phone rings once*

EW: Hi.

GA: Ms. Williams, I understand that—

EW: Are you alone? Is this in a boardroom or are you being not totally horrible?

GA: Completely alone, Ms. Williams.

EW: Okay… *pause* Don’t fucking publish it.

GA: Not one for pleasantries I see.

EW: Fuck you. I’ll sue. I’ll fucking-I’ll fucking destroy you.

GA: Ms. Williams—

EW: Ellie

GA: Ellie—

EW: Nope, Ms. Williams again.

GA: Understood. Look, Ms. Williams, this article is happening. 

EW: No it’s not-no, it fucking isn’t. Because if it does… I’ll—you think your fucking rinky-dink shitty wannabe newspaper can go up against me? I’ll fucking murder your whole fucking company. I’ll fucking hire someone to hire someone to put your sick cancer-riddled chihuahua of a company in the ground. This isn’t- *impact sounding like hitting a wall* you’re not doing this!

GA: I think you’ll find we’re well within our rights to publish this piece. I know this will be hard for you to hear, but maybe in the long-term this is for the best.

*shaky breathing from EW’s side* *sniffles*

EW: Listen, man… please. Please.

GA: I’m sorry, Ms. Williams. Hopefully we’ll talk again on better terms in the near—

EW: Wait! Don’t go! Listen, I-I can buy the article. I’ll buy the article from you, okay? How much do you want?

GA: I’m not interested in your money, Eleanor.

EW: One million.

GA: We have plenty of funding from my last venture. What we need is something to get eyes on us, and unfortunately this is the perfect thing.

EW: Two million.

GA: I’m sorry, but you can’t stop this.

EW: Ten million.

GA: Eleanor—

EW: Twenty million. C’mon, man, twenty million is a shit-ton, okay? How can you turn that down? The article probably won’t even do well. I’m being way too generous, actually.

GA: Then rescind your offer.

*pause*

EW: Thirty. Thirty million.

GA: Eleanor, you could offer me everything you have and I wouldn’t budge. This is happening. I’m sorry. *pause* would you like to offer a statement?

*deep breath from EW’s side*

EW: No.

GA: Alright, well if that’s all—

EW: You have a kid, right? A daughter? How would you feel if this happened to her? How would you feel if everyone knew?

*long pause*

GA: But it didn’t happen to my daughter, Eleanor. It happened to you. 

EW: Please.

GA: My daughter wouldn’t have trusted him.

*long pause* *sniffle from EW’s side*

EW: *voice shaking* Fuck you.

GA: It’s being released at 5PM, maybe you should write up a statement.

EW: Fuck you.

GA: And Eleanor? We didn’t find the videos either.

*GA hangs up*