Chapter Text
Joan was still crying heavily when she arrived home. Candide was concerned, but JFK took care of it and told her something had happened and that Joan would be okay. He walked her straight to her room and tried to comfort her the best he could. It felt nice being cared about for once and not worrying about caring for others.
JFK actually sat with her the entire night, holding her and reassuring her that everything would be fine. He had offered to talk to Confucius and give him a piece of his mind, but Joan said no.
At one point in the night, she had asked JFK a question.
“Why do you care about me? What do you see in me?”
And JFK gave her an honest answer.
“Well…err, I see a very beautiful girl who is creative. She's shy but she's really nice…and deserves the world.”
At least there was someone who cared about her for who she was. But, then again, she couldn't even be sure if he was telling the truth. She ignored it for now though, because she was in such a desperate need to feel loved. She tried bringing up the idea of her dating JFK, but he shut that down very quickly.
“Err, we'll talk about it when you get a clear head, okay? Just…not right now, that doesn't feel right,” JFK had said.
She knew he was right. Regardless, she appreciated him being there. As she was drifting off to sleep, she felt him kiss her on the forehead as he held her closer. Then, she went to sleep.
When she wakes up in the morning, it's against her will. She finds herself alone in her bed, Candide knocking at her door. “Mmhm?” Joan says.
Candide opens the door. “Hey, brought you uhh.. breakfast,” she says as she walks in her room with a plate. Joan knows she isn't good at the whole mom thing, and before Candide came along she didn't even have a mom, so whenever Candide did things like this Joan appreciated it greatly. “D'ya wanna talk about it?”
Joan sits up in bed, staring at her breakfast. “I was gonna tell…uhm…the guy I like that I liked him yesterday,” she says, “but then my…friend…wanted to hang out. He was gonna be there with her, so I said sure, just so I could talk to him, y'know? And then I got there and she told me they were…dating.”
Candide hesitantly places a hand on her shoulder. “I'm sorry, Joan,” she says. “I know that's extremely difficult to deal with. Just be careful, okay? Like in the future, whenever you're dealing with this kind of stuff, just take a second and think about it. I don't want you to end up doing anything drastic.”
“Oh, no, I'm not…” Joan trails off. “It just caught me really off guard, because I thought he was into me. I guess not. Thinking about it still obviously hurts like a bitch but…I can't do anything, I guess.”
She wishes she could though. If she could, she'd turn back time just to change the moment she said to let her think. She'd say yes in a heartbeat. Maybe then she'd be happy with Confucius. Maybe instead of him and Harriet going on a date, it would've been him and Joan. Maybe, just maybe, if she wasn't so off putting at first it would've been different. Maybe she needed to be different. No, wait, that's not right. She'd never change for someone else. Never again.
It still eats at her though. It will forever eat at her, on her darkest nights, on her happiest days, nothing will stop the guilt from gnawing at her.
“Well…if you need anything, just…call me, or something,” Candide says. “I told Scudworth you'd be gone from school for a few days, just don't worry too much, okay?”
Joan smiles slightly at her. “Thanks, Mom.”
Candide smiles back at her. “Of course…Joanie,” she says before leaving her room, shutting the door behind her. Joan looks back down at the plate in her lap and begins eating, not completely overwhelmed by sadness, but not feeling the greatest either.
———☆———
She spends the rest of the afternoon in and out of sleep. She doesn't really wanna think about much right now, so sleeping seems like the right thing to do.
After taking an incredibly long nap, Joan wakes up to her phone ringing. What was up with everyone trying to interrupt her naps recently?
“Hello?” Joan says sleepily.
“Hi,” JFK says. “How're ya doin’ today Joanie?”
“Eh,” Joan says. “Told my mom what happened. Still feeling like shit. How was school?”
“It sucked, I err, spent most of the day watching Abe act like he wasn't jealous.”
Joan chuckles slightly. “Oh, I can only imagine how fun that was. It's so obvious when he's jealous, especially over Harriet.”
“Trust me, ya should've been there,” JFK says, laughing. “Kind of wish you were.”
Joan looks out her window. “I'll be back soon. Probably tomorrow, don't worry too much, Kennedy.”
“Err, speaking of seeing you,” JFK says, “could ya come to the door?”
Joan looks confusedly as she stands up. “Yeah, sure, be there in a sec,” she says before hanging up. She walks to her front door and carefully opens it, seeing JFK standing in front of her, holding some flowers.
“Hi,” JFK says. “Sorry for the er…random drop in, just wanted to make sure you were feeling okay.”
Joan looks at him for a moment before quickly hugging him, not knowing what's gotten into her. She still didn't know how she felt about JFK, especially with all the stuff going on now, but it felt nice to have someone who treated her well during it all.
“Thank you, Kennedy,” Joan says. “Just…for everything.”
“Of course Joanie,” JFK says, “you deserve to be treated well. I told ya this already, you know this.”
Joan smiles slightly. “Yeah. Thank you still.” They both break away from the hug, Joan carefully taking the flowers from JFK. “So, I guess I'll see you tomorrow at school.”
“Sounds like a plan, Joanie,” JFK says with a smile.
Joan quickly plants a kiss on the side of his face. “Bye JFK.”
“Bye Joan.”
Joan turns and shuts the door behind her, walking to her room so she could tend to the flowers. She was still incredibly confused about her feelings, and she still wasn't thinking incredibly clearly, but maybe being around JFK wouldn't hurt. Obviously, it would take her a while to recover from what happened yesterday, but for now this seems simple enough to where she might not hate it.