Chapter 1: the dream
Chapter Text
THE CHOIR
slut: I had the weirdest dream last night
desert: what was it about?
rickmiser: do tell
cupcake: oooo
slut: we all died on this roller coaster called the cyclone
slut: then there was this weird fortune teller robot thing
slut: and he was like “oh im gonna bring one of you back to life but you all have to sing why you should be the one brought back”
cupcake: Oh! That sounds so interesting!
slut: OH AND SAVS HEAD WAS CUT OFF
desert: WHAT??
rickmiser: EXCUSE ME…
cupcake: SAV NO :(
raindrop: OH MY.
desert: wait what were our songs about
slut: obvi Ocean’s was about why shes the best
raindrop: Hey! I don’t think that! I just think that you guys need me!
rickmiser: ok girl…
slut: whatever you wanna believe…
slut: anyways
slut: Mischa had two songs
slut: one was a rap about how his life is awesome while the other one was about talia
bitchinski: I HAVE BEEN SUMMONED AT THE MENTION OF MY BETAUFL TALIA
raindrop: It’s spelt beautiful, Mischa.
bitchinski: CLOSE ENOUGH
slut: Ricky’s was…
slut: interesting…
rickmiser: TELL ME
slut: basically you were in a sparkly purple suit and you sang about this religion you had and how you fucked cat women
raindrop: Okay first of all…
raindrop: LANGUAGE!
raindrop: Second of all…
raindrop: WHAT THE FRICK?!
bitchinski: WHAT
cupcake: OH
rickmiser: …
desert: is there anything you wanna tell us Ricky??
rickmiser: anyways what was Sav’s about?
desert: DONT CHANGE THE SUBJECT
slut: well basically Sav was deemed “Jane Doe” bc obvi she was decapeted and they couldnt find her head
raindrop: Jesus, do any of you know how to spell? It’s decapitated.
slut: okay whatever
slut: but anyways her song was abt how no one identified her and how no one knew who she was and stuff
cupcake: thats so sad :(
desert: poor dream me ohmygod
rickmiser: I wouldnt forget you Sav :)
desert: :)
slut: ew I hate happy couples
desert: we arent dating??
rickmiser: yeah what??
slut: …
slut: anyways…
slut: connies song was abt how it was okay being the nicest girl in town
slut: and it was overall adorable
cupcake: awh!!
bitchinski: POET
bitchinski: WHAT WAS YOURS ABOUT
slut: …
slut: no comment
bitchinski: PLEASE
bitchinski: I WILL PAY YOU
bitchinski: I WILL RAP FOR YOU
slut: …
slut: okay anyways!
slut: I don’t remember who got revived cause I woke up as soon as the weird fortune teller thingy said it was time to vote
desert: thats so oddly detailed what
slut: yeah
slut: I sometimes have super detailed dreams
bitchinski: I ONCE HAD A DREAM I WAS IN A GARDENSCAPES ADD
Chapter 2: One Direction
Chapter Text
THE CHOIR
cupcake: guys I miss one direction
slut: real
rickmiser: constance spitting straight facts
raindrop: I’ve never really enjoyed their music
desert: okay Ocean actually shut up nobody asked you
raindrop: Hey!
bitchinski: What is one direction?
rickmiser: what
slut: what
desert: what
raindrop: What
cupcake: …
cupcake: WHAT.
cupcake: ohmygod
slut: i feel like connie’s sobbing
cupcake: ianam
cupcake: do u know who harry styles is?
bitchinski: no??
cupcake: OH MY GOD
cupcake: my world is crumbling
cupcake: mischa can i come over?
cupcake: i need to show u the joys of One Direction
bitchinski: sure
bitchinski: fake parents arent home
cupcake: im on my way
——
slut: guys its been 7 hours do u think connie is still showing him 1D stuff
raindrop: Probably.
raindrop: She’s obsessed with them
rickmiser: do u guys remember when we were in like 5th grade and she wrote larry stylinson fanfics
slut: BYE I REMEMBER THAT
raindrop: I will never forget that
slut: she was obsessed with that one mafia harry fic too
desert: i wish i knew 5th grade connie ohmygod this is hilarious
bitchinski: …
slut: MISCHA
slut: HI
bitchinski: youre insecure
bitchinski: dont know what for
cupcake: update: i have successfully made Mischa a 1D fan!!
bitchinski: i love louis
bitchinski: oi oii
bitchinski: fookin avacados
rickmiser: oh my god he’s quoting louis tomlinson
slut: uh oj
bitchinski: i hate simon cowell
bitchinski: he treated tjem so badly
bitchinski: i love one direction
desert: whats ur fav song by them?
bitchinski: kiss you
slut: average mischa w
bitchinski: i love one direction
cupcake: we are currently printing out pictures of one direction and hanging them on mischas wall!
rickmiser: wait till mischa finds out abt 5sos
bitchinski: whats 5sos
cupcake: …
slut: oh god.
raindrop: It’s 11pm
raindrop: Why are you all still awake?
raindrop: And Connie why are you still at Mischa’s house?
bitchinski: one direction
bitchinski: connie is now telling me about 5sos
bitchinski: michael is hot
slut: cultured
Chapter Text
THE CHOIR
bitchinski: GUYS
rickmiser: WHAT
bitchinski: MY DIVINE TALIA
bitchinski: SAW ONE DIRECTION LIVE
bitchinski: IN 2014
cupcake: WHAT
bitchinski: YES
bitchinski: AAAAANNNDDDD
bitchinski: IT WAS WHEN 5SOS OPENED FOR THEM
cupcake: …
cupcake: W
cupcake: H
cupcake: A
cupcake: T
slut: lmao remember when connie tried out for one of those radio contests that were selling 1D tickets and she won but when she got to the stadium she found out they scammed her
cupcake: SHUT UP NOEL
raindrop: CONSTANCE!
slut: …
rickmiser: …
desert: don’t get between a girl and her 1D
slut: lesson learned
rickmiser: SAVANNAH!!
rickmiser: HIIII
desert: RICKY!!
bitchinski: i am actually hypiperveantiling
raindrop: Hyperventilating?
bitchinski: yes
bitchinski: that
raindrop: Why?
bitchinski: I want to see 1D
raindrop: Mischa, they’re broken up
bitchinski: SHUT UP
bitchinski: THEY DID NOT BREAK UP
bitchinski: THEY SAID IT IS AN 18 MONTH HIATUS
bitchinski: LPHIS PROMSIED
bitchinski: HE TWEETED “promise 😊”
raindrop: Well, they broke up in January of 2016 and it’s now June of 2024 so it’s currently been 8 years since their so called “hiatus”
slut: okay now why do u have when they broke up memorized
raindrop: I looked it up
slut: OHHH GIRL THAT IS SO NOT TRUE
slut: YOU TYPED THAT WAY TO FAST
slut: TO HAVE TO GO TO SAFARI AND LOOK UP WHEN THEY BROKE UP
bitchinski: THEY DID NOT BRWAK IP ITS A HIATUS
slut: whatever
slut: but
slut: Ocean we know ur secretly a directioner
slut: its okay u can admit tha
raindrop: I’M NOT!
bitchinski: join us
bitchinski: one of us
cupcake: one of us
raindrop: I’M NOT A DIRECTIONER!
Notes:
Mischa is so me i literally have the biggest hyperfixation on 1D and 5SOS
Chapter 4: OCEAN’S DYSLEXIC??
Chapter Text
THE CHOIR
slut: ykw i just realized
slut: Ocean hasn’t freaked out abt our users
slut: thats somethibg she would totally do
slut: ans im suprised she hasnt done so yet
rickmiser: yeah wait ur right
rickmiser: she hasnt been like
rickmiser: “OMG LANGUAGE”
rickmiser: and especially with how much u two fight
rickmiser: like she hasnt targeted u yet
desert: she hasnt said anything abt mischa’s either
slut: yeah well shes dyslexic so idk if she even noticed it
slut: “bitchinski” “bachinski”
slut: very similar lettering
desert: OCEANS DYSLEXIC???
slut: YEAH??
slut: U DIDNT KNOW??
desert: NO??
slut: I thought this was like
slut: a known fact
desert: WELL APPARENTLY NOT
rickmiser: isnt mischa too
desert: okay yeah i can see that bc he actually SUCKS at reading
desert: but ocean?? The girl whos literally a BOOKWORM?? The one who corrects literally ALL of our grammar??
slut: well ever since she was super little she took like tutoring and stuff
slut: so shes gotten kinda better at it
slut: still fucking dyslexic tho
rickmiser: speaking of ocean where is she
rickmiser: i feel like as soon as shes brought up in a convo she just appears
slut: im pretty sure shes with connie rn
rickmiser: those homos
slut: U SEE IT TOO??
rickmiser: YEA
*rickmiser deleted two chats*
*slut deleted one chat*
raindrop: What did you guys delete?
slut: NOTHING
rickmiser: NOTHING OCEAN DONT WORRY
raindrop: Also, yes Savannah, I am dyslexic!
desert: Alr alr cool
desert: also im sorry if it came off as rude when i was like
desert: “OMG BOOKWORM GRAMMAR POLICE OCEAN IS DYSLEXIC??”
desert: i feel like that came off as very invalidating
raindrop: No it’s okay! Please don’t apologize!
raindrop: I get it. It can be very surprising considering how because of how much I love to read.
desert: okay phew
slut: ew i dont like ocean being nice quick someone say something mean
rickmiser: OCEANS A NERD
raindrop: Hey!
Chapter 5: The Thorns
Notes:
Stream The Thorns by Ashton Irwin
Chapter Text
THE CHOIR
bitchinski: THE THORNS
bitchinski: THE THORNS
bitchinski: THE THORNS
bitchinski: THE THORNS
bitchinski: THE THORNS
bitchinski: THE THORNS
bitchinski: THE THORNS
raindrop: Mischa, it is 12 am
bitchinski: THE THORNS
bitchinski: THE THORNS
rickmiser: what the fuck are you yapping about
bitchinski: THE THORNS
slut: omg why didnt ocean yell language at you
bitchinski: THE THORNS
bitchinski: THE THORNS
raindrop: I’m too tired to scold Ricky
bitchinski: THE THORNS
bitchinski: THE THORNS
bitchinski: THE THORNS
cupcake: OMG YOU LISTENED TO IT TOO
bitchinski: YEA
slut: guys what
bitchinski: THE THORNS
cupcake: THE THORNS
bitchinski: ASHTON IRWINS NEW EP
slut: Ashton from 5sos?
bitchinski: YES
cupcake: THE THORNS
raindrop: Of course
rickmiser: why am i not surprised
bitchinski: CONSTANCE
bitchinski: WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SOMG
cupcake: UHHHH
cupcake: PROBABLY
cupcake: BREAKUP
cupcake: OR
cupcake: LAST NIGHT OF MY LIFE
bitchinski: YES
bitchinski: ALL VERY GOOD SONGS
bitchinski: I LOVE BLOOD ON THE DRUMS OR REBEL AT HEART
raindrop: Goodnight I’m done with you all
slut: real
bitchinski: GRUBER
bitchinski: THE SONG BLOOD ON THE DRUMS REMINDS ME OF YOU
slut: oh??
slut: how so?
bitchinski: EP IS RED
bitchinski: LIKE ROMANCE AND YOUR SWEATER
slut: oh
bitchinski: AND THE VIBE
bitchinski: IS VERY YOU
bitchinski: I DO NOT KNOW HOW TO EXPLAIN IT
slut: well
slut: im honored that a song reminds u of me
bitchinski: THE THORNS
cupcake: THE THORNS
bitchinski: CONNIE
bitchinski: DID U ALSO HEAR THAT ASHTON IS DOING A ONE NIGHT ONLY SHOW IN LA
bitchinski: ON JULY 18TH
cupcake: YES
cupcake: I TRIED TO GET TICKETS
cupcake: BUT I DIDNT :(
bitchinski: NO FUCK
cupcake: IM STILL LOOKING FOR SOME
cupcake: ON LIKE THOSE SUPER EXPENSIVE TICKET APPS
rickmiser: I never wouldve expected mischa to become a fangirl
slut: neither did i
slut: mischa fangirl arc
desert: good morning guys
bitchinski: THE THORNS
desert: good night guys
Chapter 6: Last Night
Chapter Text
RICKY AND NOEL
ricky: are we not gonna talk abt what happened last night
noel: what happened last night
ricky: oh yk
ricky: just
ricky: MISCHA TELLING U A SONG REMINDS HIM OF U
noel: oh that
noel: that didnt mean anything
noel: he was just being friendly
noel: it was really nothing
oblivious bitch: ricky??
ricky: sorry i just had to change ur contact name
oblivious bitch: to what
ricky: nothing
oblivious bitch: it better not be anything insulting
ricky: totally not
oblivious bitch: its something insulting isnt it
ricky: its not
oblivious bitch: fine im changing urs to something rude too
cat fucker: IT ISNT RUDE
cat fucker: wait whats mine
cat fucker: now im curious
oblivious bitch: im not telling u
cat fucker: ugh fine
cat fucker: but anyways back to the matter at hand
oblivious bitch: “back to the matter at hand” 🤓
oblivious bitch: u sound like ocean
cat fucker: STOP TRYING TO CHANGE THE SUBJECT
oblivious bitch: srsly it didnt mean anything
oblivious bitch: he was just being friendly
oblivious bitch: ur acting like connie
oblivious bitch: plus hes literally engaged
cat fucker: and??
cat fucker: u could have like
cat fucker: the risky romance u’ve always dreamed of
oblivious bitch: i’ve never dreamed of being the other woman
cat fucker: SO U ADMIT IT
cat fucker: U LIKE MISCHA
oblivious bitch: NO I DONT
oblivious bitch: I was just saying that bc u said it would be like a risky romance
cat fucker: stage one
cat fucker: denial
oblivious bitch: im not in denial
cat fucker: also
cat fucker: did u even pay attention to the lyrics in the song??
oblivious bitch: i havent listened to it yet
cat fucker: “I see your face in an ocean of people”
cat fucker: “It's so nice to meet you, so save me from evil”
cat fucker: ???
oblivious bitch: he said the vibe of the song reminded me of him
oblivious bitch: and the cover bc its red
oblivious bitch: he never said anything abt lyrics
oblivious bitch: plus i just looked at the lyrics and those are the only two real “romantic” lyrics in the song
cat fucker: yet theyre still IN THE SONG
oblivious bitch: youre looking way too deep into this
oblivious bitch: it literally doesnt mean anything
cat fucker: okay well dont come running to me when u realize u like him
oblivious bitch: i wont come running to u bc I DONT LIKE HIM LIKE THAT
cat fucker: mhm…
oblivious bitch: plus i dont tease u abt u and Sav
cat fucker: thats bc there nothing happening between us
oblivious bitch: ohmygod u literal hypocrite
cat fucker: HEY
cat fucker: im not a hypocrite >:(
cat fucker: but ocean would be proud of u for using such a big word
cat fucker: but again
cat fucker: IM NOT A HYPOCRITE
cat fucker: ricky ≠ hypocrite
cat fucker: noel?
cat fucker: noel??
cat fucker: NOEL???
cat fucker: ur ignoring me arent u
cat fucker: ugh u suck
Chapter 7: Ricky’s two bodyguards
Chapter Text
THE CHOIR
slut: do any of u know when school ends
raindrop: This Friday!
bitchinski: FUCK
raindrop: MISCHA! LANGUAGE!
rickmiser: FUCK
raindrop: RICKY!
raindrop: MISCHA! NOW YOU’VE GOT SWEET LITTLE RICKY POTTS SAYING THE F-WORD
slut: oh hey u said something similar in that dream i had a few weeks ago
slut: “now you’ve got sweet little ricky potts saying porno is magical”
raindrop: …
raindrop: Excuse me?
rickmiser: porno is magical!
raindrop: RICKY!
slut: LMABGWIW
bitchinski: he is not wrong
raindrop: EW
raindrop: EW EW EW
slut: anyways
slut: i NEED school to end u dont know how badly i need it to
bitchinski: real
rickmiser: REALL MAN
rickmiser: im sick and tired of my crutches getting stolen and used as swords
slut: what??
raindrop: oh?
bitchinski: …
bitchinski: give me names
bitchinski: i will deal with them
raindrop: Mischa! Violence is never the answer!
bitchinski: well now it is
bitchinski: names
desert: names.
desert: now.
slut: bye as soon as we find out rickys being harassed Sav appears out of nowhere
slut: ricky x sav canon
*slut deleted one chat*
desert: i care about ricky
desert: hes my best friend
slut: mhm…
desert: what?! he is!
rickmiser: noel shut up
desert: yeah noel
bitchinski: dont tell noel to shut up
rickmiser: oh!
slut: ricky dont even think about it.
rickmiser: anyways
rickmiser: i have my own person body guards
rickmiser: i feel so special
desert: bc u are special rick ^.^
slut: oh!
rickmiser: NOEL SHSYT UP
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