Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

It had been about two months since Velvet's last... episode. All had been calm. And for once, she finally didn't feel something was coming. There was no horrible looming feeling of dread.

Nobody was going to turn on her, nobody was going to betray her. She herself didn't feel like she was moments away from ruining everything.

Finally she felt free from the constraints of trying to present herself as completely straight. That was ok. She could make peace with that. Velvet did not have to be completely straight. Who said she did? Not her parents, certainly not Veneer, and not Orchid.

Not Floyd either, she realized. He was a vault of secrets. She, admittedly, strangely, felt she trusted him not to speak of the thinks he observed in her house.

Maybe she had been the one all along holding herself back. The thought made her feel bad. She ignored it.

Right now, it was time for terribly made margaritas and listening to Podcasts with her friends.

Friends? Velvet realized she had considered the people around her to be friends. Everyone was sitting on the couches at Velvet and Veneer's apartment.

Velvet paused. She looked next to her, at her girlfriend, Orchid. That was definitely a friend.

She looked to her other side at her brother, Veneer, who had a hand clasped over his mouth in shock at what they were listening to. Something about a kidnapping.

Velvet sniffed out a small laugh. Veneer was always so queasy when it came to crime. "They just took that poor girl out of her car?" He asked, astonished. He looked over to his boyfriend, Ritz.

Velvet looked too. Ritz was her friend, she guessed. He had been kind to her and always made her laugh, ruefully in the snorty- cackle way which she hated. He was so ridiculous. But he was a good man. He was good to Veneer and, despite all of her many faults, was kind to Velvet.

Next her eyes moved to Floyd, who sat perched atop Veneers knee. She looked at him. He was so small. She had only recently begun interacting with him regularly, rather than ignoring the fact that he was even in her house.

He did not like her at first. Why would he? After all she had orchestrated. But then again, who really liked Velvet when they first met her? The real her. She was messy, unfiltered, bossy... to name a few. Plus she was often downright mean to those she didn't know well.

Floyd was looking back. Velvet realized they were starring at each other. Maybe a few months ago Floyd would have been nervous under her gaze. But not now. He had seen her at her worst, he had seen where all of her ambitions had come from. He has seen her.

He smiled back. Velvet realized she had given him a smile.

That was ... different to say the least. She sort of realized all at once, she felt like she was finally acting normal. Was this what normality felt like?

Was that something that truly stemmed from her? Was it all the support from her friends that she had received recently? Her true friends? Was it the mood stabilizers? She didn't know. She hoped with all her heart that it was coming from a genuine place within herself.

She felt Orchid wrap an arm around her. She relaxed against the other girl. Floyd gave her a nod of approval. For some reason that made her feel proud. She was good. She was not evil, she was not horrible or unlovable.

"Thanks for listening to our sponsorship! And coming in at number seven for worst kidnappings of all time, the high profile case of Velvet and Veneer!"

Velvet shot up like a rocket, hands on her knees instantly as she honed in on the speaker of the podcast. Everyone else on the couch seemed to do the same.

"Floyd, small-time local music artist and-" Ritz was quick to jump up and smack pause on the laptop they were listening to.

There was complete silence in the room. Nobody moved.

Not until Floyd whipped his head around to look at the twins, spurting out into laughter as a wide grin spread across his face. Veneer wasn't laughing, he was too shocked.

But Velvet didn't care, she began to howl with laughter. How ironic for the very case that they had all been involved in to come up in such a casual way, when they were all together like this!

Floyd and Velvet were cackling like crazy when finally Orchid and Ritz began to laugh. The whole room was alive with laughter, solidarity and understanding.

"Small-time artist? Does he even know who I am?" Floyd laughed, doubling over with laughter to the point where he rolled right off of Veneer's knee. Veneer was quick to scoop him back up onto his feet.

Velvet instantly felt herself smile wide, giggling.   "Hah! And why are we number seven? That's so random!" Velvet laughed, "we should have been number one!" She looked at Veneer excitedly, and her twin couldn't help but slip into laughing as well.

"Bitch! We never should have been number one on anything!" Veneer joked. The two used to joke about being 'number one' at something all the time as they had been number one on the charts for a few weeks.

The laughter continued on into the night as eventually the podcast was unpaused and showed unflattering pictures of the twins and Floyd. Nobody could ignore the humor of the situation.

It was a night full of drunken laughs and self deprecating jokes all around. This was normality.

Velvet was slinking through the kitchen, feeling like a ghost in her white robe. It was late at night now, everyone had fallen asleep on the couch. Veneer against Ritz, per usual, and Orchid underneath Velvet.

Velvet had only gotten up to get herself some water, but had seen Floyd sitting up weakly from Veneer's slipper which he had used as a bed.

She had looked at him and there had been a wordless exchange that it was time to find a midnight snack.

Velvet had gotten used to routinely picking up Floyd. She would hold out a finger and he would use his hair as a hook, allowing her to carry him wherever he needed to go.

This night was no different. Velvet was still drunk as was Floyd.

"Ugh- kiddo is banned from bartending forever-" Floyd mumbled as Velvet set him down on the counter. ‘Kiddo’ was what Floyd called Ritz, who had been the one to make the terrible margaritas that evening. Velvet snickered.

"Yeah, how do you manage to make something with pineapple juice and sugar in it taste like straight rubbing alcohol?" She commented, opening the fridge and pulling out some very dry French fries from earlier that day.

Floyd's hands shot out, asking for the food. Velvet obliged without hesitation, bringing the fries to the island where Floyd sat. The two ate in silence.

"These are so fucking good-" Floyd said, mouth full of food. "No they're not and you know it. We're just hungry fool." Velvet joked. The two snickered quietly as to not wake the others.

"I wish we could get more food. Everything's probably shut down by now and you’re- Mm,” he took another bite, “banned from driving me,” Floyd commented in disappointment. Velvet paused.

"No?" She said. Floyd looked at her. "Why don't we just have something delivered?" She said, as of it were an obvious solution. Floyd looked at her, puzzled.

Velvet pulled out her phone and showed him an app where you could order food for delivery. Floyd looked amazed.

"...oh yeah, you guys don't really have like phones and stuff," Velvet realized.

"Naw, we send messanges- Messengers." Floyd corrected a bit drunkenly. Velvet laughed.

"I think we need tacos. Like right now." She insisted. Floyd nodded, laying back on the counter with a thumbs up.

Soon, there was food at their door and Velvet brought it and Floyd to her room after receiving several loud shushes from everyone asleep on the couch.

"Party poopers," she grumbled, shutting her bedroom door behind her as she carried the bag of soft tacos and Floyd in her hands. Still wary of their history, she always carried him by his hair wrapped round her finger. Maybe so he felt like he wasn't in her grasp.

The two quickly dove into the food, eating in silence by the light of her crooked bedside lamp.

"This is insane- we wanted food and it just came to us!" Floyd joked. Velvet laughed.
"Yeah- guess you can't say you hate me anymore," she joked back. After a second she realized that comment may have been a bit emotionally fueled.

Floyd chewed his bite of food. He seemed to ponder something.

"I don't hate you, Velvet." He said. She didn't like how sober he sounded when he said it. Like he meant it.

"Yeah well... whatever. I was just fucking with you, it's ok if you do," she said, taking another  bite of food. She was trying to sound nonchalant. Like it didn't bother her.

A few moments of silence passed.

"I seriously don't." Floyd said. He sounded so earnest. Velvet couldn't sober up that fast. Floyd was being sincere, and she was still too drunk to put up a front. She didn't want to say anything too revealing.

"Cool." She said. Floyd could tell she was holding back. He let it go.

"So. Deep personal question time, it’s obligatory when we’re this drunk. Are you and that girl dating? Orchid? You don't have to give me an answer. I'm just curious and Veneer won't tell me anything." Floyd said, seemingly out of the blue.

Velvet stopped. They were dating. But was it ok to tell someone so casually? She still hadn't outright said "I'm dating Orchid" to Veneer, her own brother. She felt a bit vulnerable right now in her less than sober state.

She looked at Floyd. He didn't seem like one to judge her for dating a girl. But would he judge her for dating someone? Would he think she didn't deserve it? She didn't know. Here goes nothing.

"Uhh... yeah. Why." She said, sounding a little defensive. What would Floyd say?  Would he want to tell Orchid any details about what Velvet had done?

"Good! That's good, I'm happy for you." He said, going back to his food. Just like that the line of questioning was over. Velvet was surprised by this.

"Good? That's all?" She inquired, not sounding mad but more so apprehensive. She nibbled at her food.

"Yeah, of course. You needed more people in your corner." Floyd said. He seemed so unfazed by this information. Was he really just curious?

Velvet narrowed her eyes. "That's really all you wanted to know?" She pressed.

Floyd looked up at her. "Yeah?" He offered a confused smile.

"Hmm." Velvet said, deciding he was being truthful. "Well then. While we're on the topic of late-night deep personal questioning. What about you? Who are you seeing? I mean- if anyone." She corrected herself a bit. Who would Floyd even be seeing?

Floyd gave a bit of an awkward laugh. "Hah- uh, nobody right now. I guess. Not since the thing happened." Velvet knew Floyd referred to his kidnapping as 'the thing' for his and everyone else's own comfort. "Before though, there was this one guy-"

Velvet honed in on the word 'guy'. She hadn't (for some reason) realized Floyd was gay. Or at least into men.

"Creek. But he ended up being no good. I also have a sneaking suspicion he was somehow involved with Branch? Or Poppy. Something like that. The name came up at one point and my brother doesn't like him at all. I've actually never told anyone that. That I was involved with Creek." Floyd said. He looked up at Velvet and pretended to zip his lips.

Velvet nodded, repeating the gesture back to the troll. A secret sealed between the two of them. Floyd gave her that same nod of approval.
Velvet didn't realize she was among another person who was also queer. Why hadn't she put that together sooner? Now that she was looking at him it was sort of obvious. She felt it was much easier to talk to Floyd while tipsy.

Sure, she still always a bit guilty. But there was no tension now. "Poppy is Branch's girlfriend?" Velvet tried to recall. She didn't truly care, but she had learned showing interest in something someone else spoke about was good.

"Yeah. She's queen of the Pop trolls! Can you imagine that? My little brother with the queen." Floyd mimicked an explosion happening around his head. "Insane." He said.

"Wow," Velvet said, genuinely a bit impressed.

There was more silence as the two finished eating. Velvet balled up her wrapper and stuffed it back into the bag. Floyd had only eaten a small portion of his large soft taco. It was bigger than his entire body. He looked up at Velvet expectingly, and she instinctively wrapped it back up and stuck it into the bag for him.

"Ah," Floyd leaned back, "that hit the spot."

Velvet nodded in agreement. She wondered what else Floyd didn't know about; if he didn't know one could simply order food there must be a whole world of things trolls didn't know about.

Floyd yanked her out of her thoughts.

"You seem like you're doing better." Floyd said in a sincere voice. Velvet was surprised. Before, when Veneer was just beginning to be friends with Floyd, it felt like Floyd's interest in the twins well-being was mostly fake. Of course he cared about Veneer, but it had always felt like his advice for Velvet came from a place of mocking.

"Guess so. Why." Velvet said, feeling like she was unintentionally putting up a wall.

"Hah, don't worry. You don't have to talk about it. I was just curious." Floyd commented.

Velvet was quiet for a second, looking at her nails to distract herself. She pushed back a cuticle.

"You smoke, right? Maybe let's go for a cigarette." She suggested. She didn't know why she was even talking to Floyd about any of this.
"And maybe another shot." She added quickly.

Floyd nodded, digging in his pants pockets for his troll-sized cigarettes.

After two more shots in the kitchen and some more loud shushes from the couch, Velvet was carrying Floyd to the porch by his hair again. Carful not to drop him, carful not to swing him around too much.

They sat down on the camping chairs that had been placed on the porch. Velvet lit her own cigarette and then began to hold the lighter over to Floyd. She realized the flame was much to big for him and the two of them jumped in unison as she pulled the lighter away.

"Fuck- sorry-" she said. Floyd snickered. "It's ok. Even I forget we're totally different sizes sometimes." The troll said as he pulled out his own lighter.

Velvet found that funny. Floyd had previously been hyper aware of how much bigger she was than him. And now here he was casually commenting on how he had forgotten. Was he not afraid of her anymore?

Velvet hoped so. When she thought about it, she really didn't want him to be afraid. She didn't want anyone to be afraid anymore. It wasn't good for her. It wasn't good for the people around her. She didn't want to be feared anymore. She needed to be seen and loved.

"So anyway. You feelin' better now?" Floyd delve right back into the conversation. Velvet shrugged. She needed to talk to the people around her. She knew that. She had heard that over and over as of late. From her therapist, her brother, girlfriend, parents... she knew she wanted to talk. But nobody felt like the right person to talk to.

She didn't want to terrify Veneer with her troubles and traumas. She didn't want to push Orchid away by telling her anything too soon. And certainly her parents would be crushed if they knew anything she went through. Or rather, anything she put herself through.

"Guess so." Velvet gave a short answer.

Floyd nodded knowingly. She still didn't like that knowing look he gave.

"That's good. Ven and I were worried about you for a while there." Floyd said. He had to relight his cigarette as it had gone out while he starred at her expectingly.

"You were worried? Come on," Velvet protested a bit. She knew Veneer was always worried over her to no end, but Floyd? I mean he was the one person who should be praying on her downfall.

"Yeah, of course I was." Floyd said earnestly. "I mean you told me yourself, when you did all that stuff you were living in a ‘dreamlike’ state. I've been in the industry since I was a kid, Velvet. I know how shit happens." Floyd said in his understating voice.

Velvet didn't know what to make of this. Was Floyd really the person she wanted to let in right now? Could he even handle a conversation like this with her of all people? ...Was it morally wrong to be talking about this to him? After all, she had already hurt him enough.

"I guess." She said again. Floyd could tell she was shutting down a bit.

"You know you don't have to talk to me about any of that junk if you don't want to. Feel free to cut me off at any point. But I have to say, Veneer's still worried about you. Velvet…I think there's things you haven't told anybody." Floyd tried to put it as gently as possible.

Deep down he knew he wasn't really at risk of setting her off the way she used to be, anger and rage. But he didn't want to push her if she wasn't ready.

Velvet thought deeply. She hadn't told anyone about the stuff that she had been through at Rageous. Aside from her and Veneer's shared therapist. Even so, she had only hinted at a few things on accident.

"Well... I don't know. Does anybody else even need to know that shit? Like how's that going to help anybody. It's literally just putting more weight on everyone else's shoulders. And- yeah." Velvet shrugged again, lighting another cigarette.

"Of course they need to know. The people close to you should know at least the gist of what happened back then. So they'll know how to help you. And Velvet, holding stuff like that in isn't good for you. Trust me when I say I know the music scene. I've had my own issues with substances, and guys wanting to-" Velvet was quick to cut him off.

"What did Veneer blab to you?" She barked.

Guys wanting to what? What did Floyd know?

Floyd was past the phase where he would jump at any of Velvet's reactions, but he did hold up his hands defensively.

"Nothing." He said, as Velvet breathed a bit heavily, snarl on her face. "Nothing at all. I'm sorry if I hit a nerve. I just... want you to know other people have been through it too." He said in a voice that sounded like he was trying to soothe her. She hated when people used that voice on her. Like they could tell she was unstable.

"Whatever. Clearly you already know." She crossed her arms and rolled her cigarette between her fingers. Floyd let her sit in silence for a few minutes.

"Velvet, do you want to talk about it?" Floyd said gently. "If you don't, that's your choice to make." He assured.

Velvet shrugged again. She felt it was her go-to response to everything tonight.

"I don't know if I want to or not. It feels- I feel-" she couldn't get the words out.
And she was talking to Floyd of all people! Floyd!

The one she had hurt the most. He didn't deserve this. He didn't deserve to have to know.

"That's fine, why don't you start with telling me how you feel?" Floyd said in his calmest voice.

Velvet scoffed. "Well I feel like shit for not even telling Venny yet. Like he shouldn't have to know the scary stuff I did for us. You should have seen his face when he found out I was on coke! I can't tell him anything else- what if I- what if I break him..." Velvet trailed off, realizing she had inadvertently revealed something shameful about her past already. She looked over to Floyd. He seemed unfazed. Mostly still concerned.

"You don't have to give him details. But I know you two are close. And I know you want him to know. Don't you, Velvet." Floyd said, giving a pained smile. "I wanted my brothers to know so badly about what I had gone through with- with the thing that happened. But I was scared it was going to push them away, or make them uncomfortable." Floyd began to explain.

Velvet uncrossed her arms a little.

"But... you'll come to find that the people that care about you aren't going anywhere. They just want to lighten the load. You don't honestly think Veneer's going to judge you for anything you've gone through, do you?" Floyd questioned.

Velvet felt like he was peering into a bad part of her. It wasn’t what she had gone through, it was what she had put herself through.

She was never forced at gunpoint, everything she had done, she had done willingly.

"Well he sure did judge me over Orchid." Velvet sneered.

Floyd gave a funny smile. "Ok. That's a bit different. He didn't know you were gay, he thought you were using her." Floyd tried to explain to her. Velvet had to fight the urge to correct the little troll, tell him she was not gay. But that was an old reaction. It didn't serve her anymore. It had never really served her. Besides, it wasn't true... Velvet was... well she was interested in women at least.

"Whatever." Velvet said glumly. "How do you even tell your family something like that. Like- I can't just open a conversation like 'Hey Veneer by the way horrible shit happened to me and It was probably my fault and I didn't tell you' …like, he's going to be pissed." Velvet reasoned, arms crossed again.

"I don't think he's going to be-" Velvet cut Floyd off as he began to speak, "Not pissed, I know. But like he’ll be so upset.” Velvet corrected.

Floyd nodded. “I know. It’s a can of worms. It’s never easy to tell anyone what happened to you. Especially when they care about you as much as Veneer cares you you.” Floyd agreed.

Velvet sighed. She felt drained.

“Velvet, it wasn’t your fault.” Floyd said.

She felt her heart sink into her stomach. He definitely knew. She didn’t want it to be true. But the way he said ‘it wasn’t your fault’ made it clear it was from a place of mutual understanding. He was always honest when he thought something was her fault.

It must have been obvious what had happened in the music scene at Rageous. Floyd must have been through the same.

“But- anyway,” Floyd started, “What I did was, when I was feeling upset, I wrote a letter. It was messy and ugly. Everything that had happened. But it was everything I wanted Branch to know.” Floyd explained.
“Branch is my younger brother” he added, in Casey Velvet had forgotten.

“I know.” Velvet said a bit flatly.

“It was a really awful night. I won’t lie to you, it’s really hard to get that stuff out. But I wrote him a letter. About- the thing that happened.” Floyd said.

“The Rage Dome?” Velvet asked after a moment of silence.

“Mm. Yeah. Rage Dome.” Floyd finally said. He hadn’t said those words in a long time. It felt oddly freeing. But scary.

“Rage Dome and everything before it.” He bit at his nail. “Those two or so months.” He concluded. He felt a little spacey. He didn’t really talk about that sort of thing in detail. At least out loud.

“Two and a half.” Velvet said. She wanted to give credit where credit was due. She had- she and Veneer had both held Floyd captive for just over two months at the time. She looked down at Floyd who was next to her on the outside chairs.

How could she be sitting here right now with the very person she had literally held against his will and tortured for those months? She had broken his mind and his body. And yet here he sat, offering his personal advice and experience for her.

He didn’t look like he felt particularly well at the moment. Maybe it was best he wasn’t around her right now. Velvet realized how late it was.

“… do you went me to get Ven-” Velvet was cut off by the sliding door being thrown open. Both her and Floyd jumped.

“Baby?” Orchid was standing in the doorway, obviously giving Velvet a quick look-over.

“Y-yeah?” Velvet said in confusion.

“What’s going on? You ok?” Orchid stepped out into the porch, eyes still rapidly searching over Velvet.

“Of course? What are you-uh- we- we were just smoking,” Velvet realized all at once Orchid had come out to make sure she wasn’t hurting herself. She hadn’t done that in…how many weeks? She hadn’t done that in a long time.

She wouldn’t be doing it now. That was silly. She was past that. She had moved on, she wanted Orchid to move on as well. Although it was apparent that it had affected her girlfriend.
When Velvet had told Orchid, albeit on accident, Orchid had acted like it wasn’t that big of a deal.

Maybe at the time it wasn’t. Maybe it took time for Orchid to realize it wasn’t normal for people to hurt themselves, and Velvet was in a really bad spot at the time. Has she been growing a concern in private? She was worried about Velvet all this time?

Velvet found that silly but admittedly very sweet. And then she felt guilty. She didn’t meant to worry her. And what a shameful way to worry someone that cares about her.

Orchid eyed Floyd, realizing he too was on the porch. She had never seen Velvet and Floyd alone. Was that weird? At least Velvet wasn’t on the porch alone.

“Oh- sorry. Am I interrupting?” Orchid said quickly. She had seen the light on the porch on for a while now and when it clicked that the only person she knew that would sit on the porch in the middle of the night was Velvet, she instantly pictured her hurting herself and flew to her rescue.

“No, of course not. We were just talking about old stuff,” Floyd said. Everybody knew what ‘old stuff’ meant. Velvet cleared her throat, hinting that she was done with the subject. Floyd picked up on it quickly.

“Come sit with us,” he said invitingly to Orchid.
She smiled. “Ok, sure. I was just going to see if you wanted to go to bed,” Orchid said to Velvet as she took a seat.

Velvet nodded. “Guess so.” She said. Although she looked the other direction to conceal her smile. She loved sharing a bed with Orchid. She loved having her hair stroked, she loved having an arm draped over her protectively.

Orchid yawned. “You guys are up late. Did you even sleep at all?” She questioned, stretching and cracking her neck.

“No” Floyd answered, “Yes,” Velvet answered over him. Orchid nodded in understanding.

Despite the heavy conversation she and Floyd had just been having, he didn’t seem upset. Velvet didn’t feel very upset. Orchid was still here and as soon as she knew Velvet was ok she was calm. Was this normality?

Chapter Text

      Another week of normal. Velvet wanted to say she was surprised, but she wasn't. She was glad she had become accustomed to feeling so normal.

Today had been no different. Just a very normal afternoon for Velvet at the pool with Veneer, and their respective Partners.

Velvet sat in the passenger seat as Veneer drove them home. She sat on a towel as she didn't want to ruin the upholstery with chlorine. Usually she wasn't one to actually get into the pool, but Orchid's game of 'mermaids' had convinced her to get in, just for a few moments.

Orchid was very cute and Velvet both admired and envied her childish sense of fun and imagination. She seemed so unburdened and free.

Now Velvet was looking forward to getting home so she could wash out her hair. She glanced to the back seat where Orchid and Ritz sat, sending pictures they had taken to the group chat.

She blinked as the sun hit her eyes through the passing trees. What a nice summer evening. Everything was going as planned. She was calm, and everyone else was calm. She thought back to a few days prior, the last time she had seen Floyd.

Though they had been having a slightly uncomfortable discussion, even then things had been calm. Maybe she really was making progress.

"Velvet?" Veneer interrupted her thoughts. "Hm?" She asked.

"Did you catch any of that?" Veneer asked.

"Oh, sorry. What?" She tried to get her thoughts straight and listen more to the conversation.

"Does pasta sound good for dinner?" Veneer reiterated to her.

"Mm. Sure," Velvet answered. She didn't like pasta the best, but it sounded like Ritz and Veneer were planning on cooking it the way the question was phrased. As long as she didn't have to cook or fix it herself, she was fine with it.

She glanced back at Orchid through the rear view mirror. Orchid was starring sweetly back up at her, that dreamy look in her eye. When the two made eye contact, Orchid realized she was caught looking at Velvet through the mirror. She blushed, and faced away, still smiling.

Velvet smiled too, resting her mouth in her hand against the window so she didn't look so smitten. Orchid had looked very cute, in Velvet's opinion, in her electric blue swim top and shorts.

Velvet always opted for a two piece, something sparkly and flashy. She was a sparkly and flashy sort of girl after all.

When Veneer pulled up to the apartments, Velvet was the first out of the car. She hated the feeling of a wet swimsuit, and her hair was her main concern. She was followed up the stairs by Veneer and Ritz, who entered the apartment shortly after her.

Orchid stayed behind to collect the wet towels from the car.

Velvet noticed the boys went straight to the kitchen in search of food, wet swimsuits and all. Gross.

"Don't come in here, I'm changing." Velvet said casually as she entered her room.

"Mkay. Pasta should only take ten minutes or so to cook, Vels." Veneer called, his attention on Ritz. The two shared a kiss, and then Ritz went to get a pot of water on the stove.

Velvet shut the door behind herself and looked in the mirror of her vanity, bending over rather than sitting. She toweled off her hair for a moment, utilizing a bath towel she had left on the floor the night before. She looked back and forth in the mirror at her face. Hopefully chlorine wasn't too bad for your skin.

She hadn't been in a swimming pool since she was a teenager. If she were to go into a body of water at all, it would have been the beach.

She stood from the mirror, still facing it and began taking her top off.

The door swung open.

The next few events happened quite fast.

"Oops! Sorry!" Orchid exclaimed, shutting the door as quickly as she had opened it.

Velvet couldn’t place exactly what had happened in her mind or why, but something changed at the slightest sense of danger. That specific sense of danger she felt she was in when she felt exposed.

In her mind, maybe just for a flicker of a second, Velvet wasn't in her room anymore. She was somewhere bad. Somewhere lonely and suffocating.
Maybe she was in a dressing room she couldn't quite describe. Maybe an office, maybe it was a bedroom she didn’t really recognize as belonging to anyone she knew.

It didn't feel like Orchid had been the one opening the door either. Her mind shifted. Everything was different and wrong. Someone was opening the door to come in and receive something from her.

Something she wasn't willing to give anymore. Something they could not have. Velvet didn't even realize she had started screaming until a few seconds after the fact.

This wasn't your normal startled shriek, this came from a place deep within her. A place that wanted to protect her. She felt like she was screaming for all the other times she should have screamed. For all the times she had been complicit and willing, when she didn’t know any better than to oblige.

She felt like she was screaming for her life. She had to scream, cause a scene and get whoever had opened the door as far away from her as she could.

She was at the back of her own head. Every single thing that was happening was out of her control. It was out of her control when she started screaming, it was out of her control when she yanked on a hoodie and some sweatpants over her wet swimsuit bottoms.

And it was completely out of her control when she flew out of her room and began screaming at whoever had dared to cross her by opening the door.

She felt like she was watching everything happen through a small window. She was watching herself, screaming at Orchid who stood shocked in her living room. Everyone was looking at her with absolute bafflement.

"What the fuck is the matter with you! I specifically said I was changing in there and not to come in!" Velvet was screaming directly at Orchid.

"I didn't hear you! I swear I didn't hear you!" Orchid begged, stepping back and dropping all the towels in a heap as she put her hands up defensively. Velvet's anger had never been directed at her like that.

"She was outside Velvet, she didn't-" Veneer jumped to Orchid's defense. Another person crossing her, she thought, as she cut her brother off.

"I don't give a fuck! You were trying to see me! I'm not an idiot I know you were trying to get some!" Velvet hollered.

"Baby I wasn't-" Orchid's face lit up with embarrassment and Velvet screamed over her pleas. "Yes you were! You're not getting anything from me you freak!" Velvet balled her fists and stomped her feet as she screamed.

She watched as Orchid huffed in and out, her eyes reddening with tears. She had seen her cry once or twice. She hated seeing her cry. She really, really hated it. But it almost felt like there was nothing she could do.

The situation was far past out of her control.
"I wasn't trying to get anything from you Velvet I was bringing your stupid towels in!" Orchid argued back, raising her voice a bit. She was hurt.
"I was going to hang them in your bathroom to dry! I didn't know you were getting dressed!" Orchid reasoned.

But she had argued back. And in Velvet's current state, that was a threat.

"Shut the fuck up! Shut up shut up! Do think I'm fucking stupid? You were trying to see me changing!" Velvet screamed. She saw Veneer approaching out of her peripherals. "Get away from me!" She swung her arms around wildly.

Veneer stopped in his tracks. He was also teary-eyed now. He had no idea what was going on.

"You seriously think I'm trying to see you naked when you don't want it?" Orchid spat back, "Who do you think I am? All I've done for you is respect you and care about you!" She cried.

Oh yes, Velvet had definitely ruined everything. That was true. And it was true Orchid had never done anything but respect and care for her.

"I didn’t even see anything, baby! You had your back to me! It was no different than me seeing you in your swimsuit! Everybody saw you in your swimsuit! And it's not like you leave a lot to the imagination anyway!" Orchid spat back. She promptly covered her mouth with both hands, realizing what she had said sounded kind of terrible. She hadn’t meant it like that.

"Oh my gosh- I'm so sorry-" she said quickly, tears falling down her face. She knew she couldn't stop the crying as badly as she wanted to. She had to be there for Velvet and help her when she was freaking out like this, she had to be strong.

But Velvet had never directed such vicious anger at her before.

Velvet closed her mouth. That was it, all she needed to hear. She took a shaky breath. "It's time for you to go home Orchid." She said in an eerily calm voice, laced with pain.

It was obvious what everyone thought of her now. Orchid and Veneer stuttered over each other.

“Velvet just give me a chance to explain!”
Orchid begged.
"Sis, she didn't-" Velvet cut Veneer off as quickly as she could.

"Now! I want everyone out of my house now!" She yelled, pointing to the door. No one moved.

With one final scream she stomped back to her room, slamming the door and locking it. She drug a chair in front of the door knob for safety.

She looked at the door. It wasn't enough. She wasn’t safe.

She drug her dresser over and blocked the door. Now nobody could come in. Nobody could come in and take anything from her, nobody could hurt her. She darted over to the bathroom and slammed that door too. She locked it and in a state of panic balled herself up on the floor, exploding into a sob in the safety of the solitude.

She cried harder than she had ever cried before. Orchid had tried to hurt her. The one person she cared about most had tried to hurt her. She was completely and utterly betrayed.

She felt disgusting and filthy. She let someone in and they did exactly what she expected them to do. For a moment she pressed her forehead to the cold tile floor as she cried.

She lept to her feet, no longer able to stand the feeling of disgust. She turned on the shower as hot as it would go and slunk into it. She wailed and cried. She was empty and slimy and nothing.

It took her a few minutes to realize the water was hitting fabric and not her skin. She slid her hoodie and sweatpants off in shame, having to peel the swimsuit bottoms off last.

This was awful.

The clothes fell to the floor of the tub with a thud, clumping together and collecting the water that ran.

She cried for a long time in the shower, using her scratchiest brush to scrub every molecule of grime she could possible imagine off her skin.

Her arms were reddened and raw after an hour of scrubbing. Had it been an hour? She didn’t know, there was no clock in her bathroom and her phone had been left in the living room. She couldn't get herself to stop crying.

How could this happen? She had allowed herself to trust Orchid. And everything had been thrown away.

She was glad she at least had the wherewithal to wash her hair. The soap stung her body which she had scrubbed too hard.

She rubbed conditioner through her hair, not even caring when it got into her eyes. She shut the shower off and wrung out her hair, ugly sobs still haunting and echoing in the small bathroom.

Her throat was torn the hell up at this point, and there was so much pressure in her head from the crying and carrying on.
She got down on her knees and balled herself up on the floor of the tub, crying into her arms. She had gone weeks without crying. She had been doing better.

And now this. This felt like it was the worst of it. This anguish she was pushing out was deep within her, like it had been there so long it had cemented.

She didn't know how long this went on for.

Finally, Velvet had come back to reality enough to towel herself off and sit herself on the floor of the bathroom. She sat in her white robe, clean and pristine. Her hair was wrapped in a towel.

She had her knees pulled up to her chest, her face buried in them. She didn't feel clean or pristine. She felt empty and hollow.

She wondered where everyone was. Hopefully not planning to come into her room.  She was safe in there.

The house felt and sounded so empty. Her bathroom was constructed in a way that it was in the center of the house, there was no window for her to hear any outside noise. Usually she would listen for birds or crickets, maybe cicadas to tell what time of day it was.

There was nothing but the faint sound of air conditioning.

She felt like she was finally back in her body again. Her mouth felt grubby. She uncurled a bit.

Begrudgingly, she pushed herself up and off the floor. Her knees both clicked in unison. Her head hurt a little, but more so she felt immense pressure behind her eyes from crying so hard. She went to the sink and brushed her teeth several times.

Then there was a noise. Somebody was trying to get into her room.

Let them try. They wouldn't be able to push the dresser out of the way, even if they somehow got the door unlocked.

"Vel?" She heard Veneer call. She was quiet. He sounded so muffled and distant. She heard someone fidgeting with the door knob for a long time.

"Can you at least let me know your ok?" Veneer asked in an exhausted tone. He sounded worried to death.

"Leave me alone." Velvet said in her voice that indicated she did not in fact want to be left alone. She couldn't make out the chatter that was happening outside her room.

She hoped to god it wasn't Ritz out there with Veneer. Or Orchid.  She couldn't face her right now. By god she had made a fool of herself in front of Orchid.

Of course she hadn't been trying to see Velvet get dressed at such a random time in the day, especially when she knew very well that wasn't something Velvet wanted at the time.

It was literally a genuine accident.

…Besides that fact, Orchid was her girlfriend. Changing in front of her shouldn’t have been a big deal at all, Orchid read everything as non-sexual. She wasn’t trying to view Velvet like that.

Velvet drug a hand across her face. The cold skin on the back of her hand felt nice against her forehead.

There was more noise coming from the door, but Velvet couldn't make out whatever was happening. She could hear Veneer's Voice. It didn't sound like he was trying to talk to her, it sounded more like he was talking to someone out there. Velvet curled back up on the floor of the bathroom, knees tucked up and her face back in them.

There was another sound, like someone had just banged her door into the dresser as hard as they could. Velvet felt stupid about the fact that this pleased her. Somehow it always pleased her when someone couldn't get past whatever wall she had put up. She was stronger than everyone.

She could hear the dresser sliding just a tiny bit, as much as it could possibly go. She was listening intently now. Was Veneer coming in?

That didn't sound so bad. She really wanted her brother. Maybe she could get a hug now that she was calmed down... and apologize to him.

He wasn't the one who deserved an apology the most, but he still deserved one. She remembered how he had teared up so quickly when she started yelling. She didn’t feel much like talking, her throat hurt.

She heard something shuffling around her room. The sound of papers, the sound of something moving things around on her Vanity. She waited and listened.

Something was coming to her door.

Three torn-out notebook papers slid briskly under the door, and a mechanical pencil was rolled in after. Velvet looked at the objects in confusion.

“Write, Velvet. Get it out.”

Floyd.

Chapter Text

As long as Velvet said she was sorry when she was feeling better, surely there wouldn't be any repercussions.

She knew, and could fully admit at this point, she had a bit of a problem with controlling her temper. She knew that. She had worked that out in therapy.

She even had an upcoming dual session with Veneer! That was something she had never in her wildest dreams agreed to before.

Veneer could not be in a session with her, it was all too private. He couldn't know how awful she truly was, how unstable. How bad it genuinely got. But she had begrudgingly agreed.

It needed to happen. That's where she planned to read out her note.

On that awful night where she had accidentally snapped and yelled at her poor girlfriend, Floyd had hurried, (or 'hustled' over as the trolls called it, whatever then hell that meant) in a matter of an hour.

He had somehow gotten her to write out everything.

And she meant everything. Even things she hadn't realized she remembered. All from her time at Rageous.

Beautiful, wonderful, ugly, horrible Rageous.

She first started writing about being on troll essence. It was an exhilarating substance that quite literally changed one's brain chemistry. It was pure dopamine.

Velvet felt stupid for not knowing what it was or even what it did at the time. She felt stupid for not knowing it would hurt Floyd, she felt stupid for being so high that she didn’t care when she came to the realization. She just needed that talent. That had been her slippery slope into other substances.

She then wrote about Floyd, how she hurt him. The sheer guilt she carried every day. The remorse she experienced every time she watched him struggle to walk, how Veneer and then even she herself carried him around.

She couldn't stand it. She started crying again while writing that bit. How humiliating. How stupid. How hollow it made her feel. Grieving someone else’s pain, pain that she caused.

Floyd, still barred by her bathroom door, told her it was ok. Crying was good, she needed to cry, she needed to keep going. Keep going no matter what. It needed to come out.

No one would know she had cried so hard with Floyd's permission, no one would know she had actually felt a comfort from his presence.

Floyd of all people!

But he was older. He was smarter and more experienced. He was the one who had been where she had been before, he was the one showing her the way. As much as she hated to admit it. She had a growing respect for him.

Who was she?

With this newfound respect came another layer of guilt... she had dismissed him so early on due to his species. He was just a troll. She could squash him like a bug.

But she knew that was wrong. He had so much insight to offer.

She wrote about how she had hurt, and continued to hurt Veneer. How bad of a sister she was. A very bad, failure of a big sister.

About how stupid she felt. About the industry. How she had allowed herself to be manipulated. She knew even at the time she was being manipulated. She didn’t care. She wanted the fame, for herself and Veneer both.

Then finally, she wrote about the bad things.

She referred to them as the 'bad things', in her head.

All the 'favors' she had done to get herself and her brother into the music scene. All the times she had traded herself for favors.

At the time, it had seemed so easy. Like a goldmine of things she could offer for easy, easy access to anything she wanted. Access to studios, interviews, money...

Oh how stupid she had been. How stupid, foolish, and ignorant that seventeen-year-old Velvet had been. She was now twenty. And she was paying the consequences for a Velvet that didn't exist anymore. Past Velvet.

A Velvet that had been high. A Velvet that had been stupid. A Velvet that was too young to understand. She didn't even realize until she was writing it out that she blamed herself so heavily.

She had been willing. She had been more than willing. She had actually offered most times! She had initiated it. Why did she feel so bad? She had been dishonest about her age at times, she had been fully aware of what she was doing and did it anyway.
It clearly must have been her fault.

Velvet felt almost a sense of betrayal from her younger self. It wasn't fair. But yet, it was fair. Nobody had truely forced her. Nobody had held a gun to her head. Nobody had been rough beyond what she could handle.

She started to scratch that part out. Then she stopped. It was part of the story. It had happened. Maybe it was what was making her feel so upset.

Maybe that was part of that cemented bad feeling in her tummy.

She left it on the page. She was done. She curled up in the bathroom, shoving the stupid papers back under the door along with the stupid pencil.

Floyd had told her he was folding up her papers, no one would read until she was ready.

"Just read it for God's sake." She had begged.

"Ok." Floyd had said.

She wanted to be seen. She wanted to be heard.

She wanted the agonies she had suffered through- put herself though- to be known.

Otherwise it would be all for naught.

Floyd read it all. It took a long time.

"Will you open the door?" He had said.

Velvet unlocked the door, reaching up and turning the knob just enough for it to open. Then back to curling up.

Floyd came in and sat down next to her.

“You have so many people on your side. We’re all going to be here as your scars fade.” Floyd said.

That had been all, but that was all she had wanted. Floyd was a good few feet from her, but now he knew her.

She was known. What agony it was to be known.

Currently, she sat in Ritz's apartment. She had never been there before. It was really nice. Orchid was next to her, arm around her. Obviously.

Orchid was very forgiving. Though they had not yet spoke about Velvet's latest outburst, Orchid had come with her and Veneer to Ritz's apartment to wait out the uncomfortable countdown until she and Veneer were to share a therapy session.

Therapy was in the City, conveniently a few blocks from where Ritz lived. His apartment was two floors, and Velvet and Orchid were nestled up on the second floor.

Velvet had exhaustedly laid her head against Orchid's shoulder. She knew she needed to talk about the incident. She knew she needed to properly apologize for yelling at her in such a way.

Orchid had done absolutely nothing wrong, but Velvet's perceived slight against herself by Orchid had lead to a horrible yelling match. A mostly one-sided yelling match.

She knew she had to apologize and take accountability for her own actions. It had been her, and her alone who had started the yelling.

She sort of knew what that meant; ‘accountability’. Knowing when she had done something wrong and making up for it? Something like that.

She felt like nothing in the world could make up for the crime of hurting Orchid, who was such a sweet girl. Her sweet girl. Orchid was a gift, a blessing. She never did a single thing wrong.

But now, Velvet could not find the words. She couldn't even get her thoughts straight enough to think of the words. Instead, she snuggled close. Orchid understood this as a sort of placeholder for an apology. A temporary apology.

She pulled Velvet close against herself.
"I love you," Orchid said thoughtfully.

Holy smokes. Holy shit. Holy fuck!

Velvet's entire body lit up with heat, suddenly hyper aware of the girl she was leaning against. Somebody loved her? Somebody outside of her immediate family, who had to love her, loved her? Orchid loved Velvet? Did Velvet even earn that?

"I love you too," Velvet said naturally. And it was natural. She did love Orchid. Did she even know that before this moment? Had she shown her? Did Orchid feel loved?

Oh good grief, why now, in this moment? Why here? It had just sort of happened. It was not planned at all.

Velvet was squeezing her close. She loved her, she loved her so much. She loved this girl with every fiber of her being. Orchid was hers, and hers alone. She was Velvet's girl, she was Velvet's.

That made her feel stronger. She was strong now. Somebody loved her! On purpose!

Velvet could definitely handle this therapy appointment, regardless of how much she was dreading it. Because somebody loved her, for real and for true. Orchid would be waiting to hold her and console her.

Just as Velvet would do for her if needed.
She would do anything for Orchid.

Velvet suddenly remembered something. Something she could do. Something Orchid liked a lot. Something she could offer as a bit of a truce, to make up for her behavior. At least a little.

Velvet had literally only kissed Orchid once before. That time had been completely Velvet's choice.
They had been on the porch, at Orchid's folks’ house. Sharing a blanket while Velvet had a cigarette.

Velvet never actually made the conscious decision to kiss her, it just happened. She had been starring at the other girl, and the very second she realized she wanted to kiss her, she did it.

Then of course after that she was terrified she had lead Orchid into the idea that she could kiss Velvet whenever she wanted. That was not the case. Velvet needed time. She needed to be able to make the choice.

She wanted to be able to kiss Orchid because she wanted to, she wanted to be able to kiss her because they both wanted to. No exchange. No favors.

Orchid was way more intuitive than Velvet guessed, and did not try to kiss her again as it seemed like something Velvet wasn't ready for.

But she felt strangely ready now.

She leaned off of the other girl, sitting up straight. Orchid glanced at her to see what she was up to. She expected her to get up and use the bathroom or something, maybe switch sitting positions. But Velvet was starring right at her.

Orchid started back, her phone screen going black. She could tell Velvet was plotting.

Velvet leaned closer to her, giving her enough time to pull away or give any indication she didn't want it. Orchid waited patiently, eyes widening just enough for Velvet to notice.

She wanted this too.

Velvet closed the distance between the two of them, sliding a hand over Orchid's. Orchid tried her best not to smile into the kiss, gently kissing back as not to scare her off.

Velvet pulled away just as soon as she had leaned in, and of course Orchid giggled in delight.

"What was that for?" She gushed. Velvet shrugged. "I just wanted to." She replied, realizing she was definitely, in fact, gay.

Something shattered on the first floor, instantly pulling the two out of their romantic trance. They froze, listening. Obviously it must have come from the kitchen, that's where the boys were. Velvet shot up off the couch, face suddenly serious.

"Did you hear-" "what the hell was that?" Velvet cut Orchid off, looking back at her. The two shared the same thought and took off for the first floor, clumping down the stairs quickly.

"Did something break?" Velvet boomed in her very loud concerned-older-sister voice.

Orchid was quick to follow behind her.

"Baby, it's ok!" Ritz was saying in an urgent tone. Velvet didn't like the sound of that. What if Veneer was hurt? She stepped into the kitchen as fast as she could.

"...sorry I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," she picked up on Veneer blubbering. Where was he? Velvet could see Ritz, standing next to the stove. There was no Veneer in sight. Velvet studied Ritz for just a second, following his Gaze to the floor.

Velvet quickly rounded the counter, and there was Veneer. Crouched down on the floor, a few feet from a porcelain mug that had been dropped and shattered on the floor. Presumably it had held tea or something of that nature.

"What happened?" Orchid asked from the doorway to the kitchen.

"Baby-Veneer," Ritz was approaching his boyfriend who had made himself as small as possible on the ground. "He just dropped a cup and then went ballistic," Ritz interrupted himself,  trying to answer Orchid's question.

"Baby... it's ok. I literally don't even care about the mug, or the mess. Why are you freaking out?" Ritz was crouching as well. He had never been angry at Veneer for making any mistake like that before, and Veneer was a clumsy young man. There were plenary of chances for Ritz to express anger at him if he had wanted to.
But he didn’t want to, of course. veneer knew that.

Velvet followed suit and sat on her knees protectively next to her brother. Orchid watched from the doorway, eventually taking a few steps closer.

"Venny. Nobody cares about the mug." Velvet said flatly. "Stop crying." She added. Ritz gave her a look, which she caught out of the corner of her eye. It was a mix between confusion and a bit of disapproval.

Well damn. She was just trying to help. Veneer needed to be told to stop crying or he never would.

Velvet thought about the situation for a moment. No... that wasn't right. She knew that. She needed to remember to be kind, and patient. She was uncomfortable with other people crying, but the best way to get it to stop was to be patient.

She had to be gentle and comforting. Doing that made her feel almost vulnerable, but she knew it had to be done. It was part of being a big sister.
"Sorry. It's ok, Ven." Velvet placed a hand against his shoulder.

Veneer jumped away. Velvet reeled back. Orchid rushed over.

"Hey baby? Everything's ok. We'll clean it up. Nobody's mad at you." Ritz said simply.

Velvet, all at once, made the connection between this situation, and the previous situation where Veneer had accidentally smacked her coffee off the counter.

When she had fought him.

Ah, yes. Repercussions.

"Can everyone leave." Velvet said suddenly.

Orchid folded her hands under her chin, nervously.
"Sure. I'll be waiting upstairs," Orchid said, trying to be understanding. The crowd probably wasn't helping Veneer.  She retraced her steps, backwards, still watching the situation. Then she was out of the room.

Velvet looked at Ritz, who was still crouched next to Veneer. He shook his head no. "Mm-Mm. I don't want to leave him when he's like this." He said seriously.

Velvet sighed, she knew Veneer wasn't going to chill out with more than one person around. But Velvet felt it had to be her. She was the one who had caused this situation, even if it was just by proxy.

"Can you just..." Velvet looked around, glancing at the banister. The bars holding up the the railing that separated the stairs and the kitchen let whoever was on the stairs have a good view into the kitchen.

She gave a nod towards the stairs, giving Ritz a pleading look.

Ritz did not want to leave Veneer. He knew Velvet could sometimes be very helpful, but on the other hand sometimes she made things worse. Should he choose to trust her?

He looked at her face. She did seem so earnest.

"...Fine." He agreed. "I'll be right back." He leaned in close to Veneer one final time, close to his ear as he whispered. Then he stood, slipping back slowly to the stairs.

Veneer was sniffling, saying he was sorry over and over to no one in particular. Velvet found that to be a little nerve grading, but she knew she couldn't be like that.

"Venny," She whispered, and shuffled in front of him. "Hands, please." She said. Veneer was unresponsive but didn't fight or protest when she took his hands.

"You remember how to breathe." She said quietly. She took deep, slow breaths for about thirty seconds before Veneer finally mimicked her like he was supposed to.

He finally sat on his backside, he had been crouched still on his feet this whole time. He uncurled a little to breathe better.

He followed her, taking deep breaths in time with her. Finally Velvet ended their ritual by blowing gently on Veneer's face as she always did.

Veneer seemed to find comfort and familiarity in this. He peeked up at Velvet for a second, then looked away sheepishly.

"Sorry. Gosh- I'm sorry." Veneer apologized.

"It's fine." Velvet said, letting Veneer's hands go and patting his back. She looked over her shoulder at Ritz, who took that as an invitation to come back into the kitchen.

"Hi baby," He said, crouching just a little and offering his hands to Veneer. Veneer took Ritz's hands, and stood with him, sheepishly looking away.

"I'll clean up the cup." Velvet said. Ritz looked at her. Approval, this time. He had cleaned up a mess in her house before, now she would clean one in his. An eye for an eye.

"I'm so embarrassed. I'm sorry." Veneer said. He tried to wipe the green lipstick (classic Veneer) from his cheek as he stared into his reflection on his phone screen. He felt he looked wrecked.

He still had a teary face, but now at least he seemed to be crying from embarrassment, a true emotion, rather than huffing in and out so quickly like before from sheer panic.

"We're going to have to go to your guys' therapy soon…Why don't we try to lay down for an hour," Ritz encouraged Veneer, coming close and sliding one arm around his waist, another placing gently against his chest.

Veneer nodded agreeably. He felt stupid, but he did need to lie down for a minute. He gave a sheepish look to Ritz, then Velvet.

"Thank you sis," he called back to Velvet, his voice breaking. He didn't want to leave her but having both his boyfriend and his sister console him at the same time was stressful for some reason.

"Don't mention it. Take a nap until we go to the session." Velvet said.

Ritz led Veneer up the stairs. Velvet could hear Veneer breaking into some more crying. Her heart hurt. Orchid slunk back into the room.

"Veneer's all better?" She asked hopefully.

Velvet shrugged, picking up the bigger pieces of the mug by hand.

"He'll be fine. He just freaked out because he dropped the drink everywhere. And. Well- one time he spilt my drink and I freaked out at him. And I hit him." Velvet admitted.

Orchid didn't seem to respond, she got some paper towels and scooped up the scraps of the mug with the several layers of paper cushioning her hands.

"So he felt like you were going to freak out at him again?" Orchid tried. Velvet was glad she hadn't repeated back the hitting part. She knew Orchid had heard.

"Guess so." Velvet said, using a random dish rag to clean up the tea. It had definitely been tea, it smelt like earl grey now that she was closer.

"Hm. Well I'm glad you calmed him down. You're a good sister, Vellie-Bell." Orchid was washing her hands in the sink, and Velvet stuck her hands in the sink at the same time.

The two bumped into each other, and laughed lightly. Velvet loved the moments where it felt like even though something serious was going on, Orchid could make her feel like it was ok. Like it wasn't the end of the world.

"Let's go back upstairs n' lay on the couch. I'm like- antsy." Velvet requested, as Orchid dried her own hands with a paper towel and then Velvet's as she held them out for her girlfriend.

"Mm hm," Orchid obliged, following Velvet up the stairs. She had been a bit disappointed their snuggling-turned-smooching had been interrupted, but was pleased they were heading back to the same spot. She hoped at least she could get a few more cuddles out of Velvet before they went to the session.

At least enough to soothe Velvet. Orchid found when Velvet was trusting and calm enough after a while of initial cuddles, she would allow- or even request - Orchid to stroke her hair.

Velvet really liked having her hair pet, but she felt like it was a very sensual thing that was sort of private, and needed to be worked up to.

It was a sure fire way to calm her down though, and with Veneer having another freak out Orchid didn’t want Velvet to have any more reason to be stressed before therapy. She knew this session they were in for wasn’t going to be a pleasant one.

Orchid knew about the notes Velvet had written. Veneer had briefly mentioned he knew Velvet was preparing herself to finally come clean about something and/or some things, and he was honestly quite nervous about it.

The notes sat in a pink folder on a chair upstairs, where Orchid and Velvet were headed.

Velvet slumped back on the couch and rubbed her temples. “Today just could not get any more stressful.” Velvet said.

“I know lovely. We’re going to get through this together.” Orchid said to be supportive.

Velvet loved that.

Orchid expected Velvet to scoot closer to her as she had before, and outstretched an arm towards her. Velvet surprised her by turning away, preparing to lay her back against Orchid.

The surprise movement led Orchid to accidentally rest a hand against Velvet’s chest for a second before Orchid yanked her hand up into the hair, leaping up and out from underneath Velvet.

Velvet plopped on her back against the couch, looking shocked.

“Oh my gosh, Vel I’m so sorry! I swear I didn’t mean to grab you- I wasn’t trying to grab you like that- I’m sorry!” Orchid instantly replayed the memory of mistakenly walking in on Velvet a few days ago, just certain she was in for another yelling match.

Velvet opened her mouth in surprise at her girlfriend’s almost frightened reaction.

Velvet looked like she was about to say something, but the silence was killing Orchid.
“Please believe me- you moved, I thought you were going to face me like before-!”

“I know…” Velvet couldn’t think quickly enough to solve the situation. Another situation she had inadvertently created. Of course.

Orchid stood awkwardly by the couch with both hands over her mouth, awaiting her fate.

“I know, seriously. It’s fine. I believe you.” Velvet tried. She wasn’t bothered at all by the touch, it was just an accidental brush. She wouldn’t have even noticed it without Orchid’s reaction.

Orchid paused, still standing.

Velvet sat back up.

“Sit back down, I’m not going to yell at you. I shouldn’t have done that the other day.” Velvet said.

Orchid nodded frantically, sitting quickly.

“Sorry- I didn’t meant to flip out- I just thought I hurt you again.” Orchid explained. Velvet shook her head. It was time to talk about it. Face the repercussions.

“You didn’t hurt me. It wasn’t you. I- Ugh.” Velvet pushed her hair back. Orchid took note of this and lifted a hand above Velvet’s head, waiting for permission.

Velvet leaned her head into Orchid’s touch.
“I don’t know- what to say. Other than it wasn’t your fault. Like- I know I went crazy. I’m. Im sorry?” Velvet tried. She knew she should have apologized. Why did it feel so bad?

“I’m sorry too.” Orchid said. That felt bad as well.
“No, I don’t think you should be. I lost my mind at you over nothing. I- that hurt I felt came from somewhere else. It wasn’t you.” Velvet couldn’t form the words to explain. She wanted so badly to lift this burden from her girlfriend.

Orchid had not hurt her. Orchid had done no wrong. She sat carding fingers through Velvet’s hair encouragingly.

“I need a drink.” Velvet said. That made Orchid giggle. “So soon, m’love. Maybe you can get some stuff off your chest in therapy, and we can mix up some mimosas or something yummy. As a treat.” Orchid teased.

Velvet let out a sniff of laughter through her nose. The two had a joke just between themselves where they would say ‘as a treat’ any time they got something.

A joke that was just theirs.

“Ok.” Velvet agreed. “And just- so you know. I- Ugh.” Velvet couldn’t make herself speak in a humble way. It was so hard. It was so, so hard.

“I am. Working on myself. So no more yelling.” The words tasted foul in her mouth. Velvet felt she was perfect for so long. Admitting fault was foreign. She looked over to Orchid, who was looking back with nothing but love in her eyes as she stroked Velvet’s hair.

She would do anything in the world for that girl. She would admit to being less than perfect. She would go through the struggle of therapy, the struggle of remembering and talking about things.

Anything so she wouldn’t hurt her again.

Orchid smiled so sincerely. “I know you are, my perfect girl.” Orchid spoke softly. In Orchid’s eyes, Velvet was perfect. Being a work in progress was perfection to her. Velvet blushed again, her face and forehead and throat feeling hot. She didn’t look away this time; she always hid her blush but not now.

She could do this. Repercussions and all.

Chapter Text

       Veneer picked at his styrofoam cup full of cashews. His head drooped. Normally, in therapy, he sat happily on the couch, right across from his (and Velvet's) therapist.

Mrs.Bell Bottoms. Veneer knew Velvet found that name to be humorous. He looked over at his sister, just a glance. They were both sat on the floor in front of the couch. There was a small foot table in front of them, separating them from Bell.

Velvet had her note clutched in her hands. She had kept it hidden in that pink folder all day. When it had finally been pulled out, Veneer's heart sank a bit as he saw it was in fact several sheets of notebook paper, all evidently ripped out of a notebook. There was so much.

The first few sentences had been agony for Velvet. Veneer too. He was unimaginably tense. Bell encouraged her. Velvet seemed put off by Bell's encouragement.

She struggled, and labored, and faltered through the first paragraph. That was just about the troll essence, and her guilt towards what they had done to Floyd.

Veneer knew that bit already. Velvet had never outright said anything about it, but it was strikingly obvious. She was a very guilty girl.

Quick on her feet, Bell pulled out a game of janga. Velvet did not seem pleased. But surprisingly, it allowed her to direct her judgement and dissatisfaction towards the game they were playing rather than towards reading her notes.

Velvet didn't fancy Bell very much , but she was very clever and knew how to work with Velvet.
The tower of wooden bricks was set up. Absentmindedly, Velvet removed a block as she continued onto the next bit.

Veneer pulled a block as Velvet reached the next few paragraphs. She paused. She couldn't read anymore. This bit was about Veneer.

Bell segwayed the conversation in a different direction for a moment, just to give her a break. Velvet picked at her cup of cashews, crushing one between her index finger and her thumb.

“You carry a lot of guilt, Velvet. What have you been doing with that guilt as of late?” The woman asked.

Well, she used to drink and party and forget. She used to take whatever painkillers she could get her hands on. Veneer already knew that. Bell already knew that. They both also knew that had stopped. What had taken its place?

“I don’t know. Nothing anymore I guess.” Velvet placed a hand on her lap. She used her other hand to remove another block from the tower. It was only a few blocks missing now. It was still sturdy.

“Nothing at all?” Bell prompted. She could always tell when Velvet was lying; she made a slight movement in her eyebrows that not even Veneer noticed. Velvet scratched at her thigh nervously through her pink sweatpants.

Though most of her cigarette burns had turned into scars, some even beginning to fade, she kept a few scabs active by her accidental picking. Oh gosh, the burning.

That had been it.

“Well. Not nothing. I don’t know. I guess.” She trailed off. Veneer picked a block from the tower.

Bell always let Velvet sit in silence when she wasn’t answering. She knew the silence made Velvet just uncomfortable enough to prompt her to fill that silence.

Velvet was very headstrong. If she truly wasn’t ready to talk about something, she would make it known.

Veneer and Bell were both picking up on the fact that it seemed like Velvet wanted to share. She had been sharing so much already.

“Ugh. Sometimes I do something to make up for people I hurt. I guess. I mean I deserve to get hurt back, right?” She grumbled, folding her hands and sitting away from Veneer.

“Sis, I never want you to get hurt back.” Veneer said quietly.

“Well that’s not super fair. I hurt you and nothing happens to me? And Floyd? You think I get to do whatever I want to him and nothing bad happens to me?” Velvet hissed a little. She felt backed into a corner.

“Uhm, we went to jail?” Veneer scoffed. “Is that not enough revenge?” He reasoned.

“It shouldn’t be about revenge, you two.” Bell interjected.

The twins went quiet.

“Whatever.” Velvet said.

“How are you getting hurt back, Velvet?” Bell prodded. “It’s not good to allow anyone to hurt you, no matter how you feel you deserve it. It can almost feel good to let others hurt us when we’ve done wrong, I understand that. But if you’re putting yourself in unsafe situations-”

Velvet couldn’t stand to hear that, it made her feel foul. She spoke a bit louder over Bell.
“I’m past that! I’m not letting someone else hurt me I’m handling it myself!” She barked.

She had been handling it herself. She had punished herself, no one else had been involved. She hadn’t let anyone take anything from her or do anything to her, when would it be enough? Was the way she was punishing herself not enough?

“How are you handling it?” Bell asked gently.
Velvet shrugged. Veneer looked tense. He stopped picking at his cup of nuts.

“That’s ok. You don’t have to share. Why don’t we pick up where we left off on your note?” Bell encouraged. Velvet felt almost relieved to go back to reading what was already written rather than having to come up with new responses.

Bell was good. Velvet almost despised this.

She snatched the papers back up. She faced away from Veneer a bit. Just get through this part. Just read quickly and it’ll all be over. Everything will be out in the open.

She grimaced. “Ugh- ok, ok. Ah…” she looked for her spot on the page. “I. I feel really bad about hurting Venny and I don’t know why I get so angry. I hit him sometimes and also I pinch his arm and yell at him and it makes him cry-”

She cut herself off. Drat. She knew she wasn’t going to be able to get through that part all at once. Her throat felt tight. She couldn’t even look at Veneer.

“…I feel like I’m out of control and I’m taking my anger out on the wrong person and he didn’t do anything wrong and I’m scared he doesn’t remember most of it when I was being violent back at Rageous because I made him use the troll so much…” Velvet took a break.

She didn’t feel like crying, but she felt like her body wanted to. She had to get through this session, and she had to make a lot more progress than she was making now with reading the note.

“I remember. Sorta.” Veneer touched her shoulder. She pulled away a little. She didn’t want to hurt her brother. Her twin. Her other half. Why did she do that? What was wrong with her?

“I don’t know wether that’s better or worse.” Velvet said. “Like- if you don’t remember obviously it was like so traumatic for you or maybe I was getting you too high. Fuck. I’m sorry I hit-”

She stopped. She would not cry. What she was saying would be understood. She didn’t have to finish the statement.

Veneer didn’t touch her again, though he wanted to hug her. He wanted to say it was ok as he always did. But it didn’t feel ok. Sure things were mostly fine between them now, but Rageous had been so awful.

“It really hurt me.” Veneer admitted in agreement with Velvet. Physically yes it hurt a bit when the two would fight, but emotionally it was so much worse.

“I know.” Velvet acknowledged.

“That’s good,” Bell added. “Has this been spoken about before?”

“No.” Velvet said

“Not in depth.” Veneer corrected.

Oh yeah. Velvet had brought Veneer a plush and a snack and given him a real apology once, a while ago. That had been really hard, and humbling. Honestly kind of scary.

But… that felt better than hurting herself. It was terrifying. But good. Bittersweet.

“What did that conversation go like?” Bell prompted.

“Oh bitch- I was crying so damn hard.” Veneer admitted, his playful tone lightening the mood a little. Bell chuckled along with him.

“Vel brought me presents and actually said sorry for real. That was after the fight in the kitchen.” Veneer explained.

Velvet knew it wasn’t a fight. It was a straight up attack.

“Didn’t that feel much better in the long run?” Bell said to Velvet, who was sitting awkwardly curled up on the floor. ‘Much better’ as in much better than hurting herself. Bell had a vague idea of what Velvet had been doing. But she would not out her secrets.

“Guess so.” Velvet shrugged. It had felt better in the long run. She had apologized, brought a gift, and legitimately made an effort not to let her anger overtake her.

It always felt so satisfying in the moment. Letting the rage take over completely. Yelling, screaming, throwing things around and even kicking things over. Even… hitting people and shoving people around.

But the guilt that came afterwards was torment. The knowledge that she had truly hurt someone, her and her alone, was hell. The guilt was hell. It was heavy and lonely.

“There haven’t been any fights since then, have there?” Bell asked. No, there hadn’t been. No physical fights anyway.

Although, Velvet had felt that overwhelming feeling of anger a few times since then. That horrible feeling.

It was like it another person. A worse version of herself. Someone she wasn’t proud of. Taking her over, controlling her actions.

Past Velvet. Angry, hurt, damaged, past Velvet.
Whenever that ugly version of herself reared it’s head now, she separated herself. Just as her therapist had taught her.

Velvet would leave the room. To the porch, for a while, do do things to calm down…but more recently, to her room or to Veneer’s room. Depending on who the anger was directed at. She would separate and calm down. Keep her anger at bay, try her hardest not to hurt anyone.

“No. I walk away.” Velvet recited.

“That’s amazing, Velvet.” Bell said. Velvet looked appalled. Bell knew Velvet didn’t take well to positive feedback from anyone she wasn’t super close with, but deep down she was rewarded. She was pleased she had done what she was supposed to.

“Would you like to keep reading?” Bell asked.
Velvet disdainfully nodded.

“Ok. Ah… I don’t know. So-” Velvet shook her head. “I have to get through this fucking thing or I’m going to shred it and it’ll never see the light of au again. It has to be now.” She said, finally looking over at Veneer.

Veneer nodded as he took another block from the tower. It was looking a bit unstable now as the twins took from it and added to the top.

“Ok.” Veneer said.

“It’s seriously all about me being a loser.” Velvet warned. Veneer made a funny face, trying not to snicker.

“Girl- you’re not any more of a loser than I am. Plus I already know all of this stuff. Just read.” Veneer promised.

But he didn’t, Velvet thought. He didn’t know what she was about to read.

“I feel sick.” Velvet said.

“Let’s have you drink some water.” Bell said, calmly getting up to grab another styrofoam cup to fetch her water.

Velvet took the cup cautiously.

“What if. I don’t know. Fuck me, Jesus Christ.” Velvet grumbled.

“Don’t worry about the ‘what if’s’, Velvet. You’re safe here with just Veneer and myself. I’ve never judged you before. And we both know your brother isn’t going to judge you.” Bell urged.

Velvet wasn’t here for Bell, she was here for Veneer. And herself.

“I was just going to say what if it’s really scary for him to hear.” Velvet said flatly. Veneer gave her a worried look. He assumed the notes were just about her using whatever drugs. Maybe drinking too much.

“Veneer, are you ready to hear what she wants you to know?” Bell asked, knowing the answer.

“I mean yeah, obviously. No matter what it is,” Veneer turned to Velvet, trying to get her to look back at him. “You’re my sister. I don’t care what it is. I just want to know. And if this is what’s been making you so upset I think I should know.”

He said. Oh, Velvet felt so sick. Maybe she should have made Floyd tell him.

No, it had to be her. She should have told a long time ago. She should have said something the first time it had happened. Maybe then her much more sensible brother would have done something. Talked her out of it. At least known her pain.

There was silence now. Nothing but silence. Prompting Velvet to read.

She silently switched pages, she had finished the first two.

“I really fucked up at Rageous, I thought I knew the industry in and out but I was so stupid. I hurt myself making a lot of stupid mistakes that I thought made sense at the time.”

No, her throat felt tight and her eyes felt wet. Fuck it, she was getting through this crying or not. She kept her tears at bay, facing away from Veneer.

“I traded Mm… fuck,” she faced even more away from the two. They had stopped playing with the janga tower.

“I feel gross.” She stopped reading.

“Just keep going. You can summarize.” Veneer begged. What the hell was eating her? What had happened to his poor sister?

Velvet didn’t want to be graphic. She hadn’t been too graphic on the page but it still made her feel disgusting. She was the one who had done all those things. It was her.

“I traded myself for all those favors and shit we got Veneer, I hardly had to pay for anything and if it did pay it was money I got from guys who got something from me in return, ok? I slutted myself out because that’s what everyone else was doing and I was an idiot child who didn’t think I was actually giving them anything and it was all free money and fame and everything that happened was literally my fault!”
She balled up the papers and tossed them across the room.

She couldn’t take it anymore, fists in her own hair as she leaned her face against the couch and groaned in pain. She was incredibly upset, awaiting Veneer’s response. He would blame himself, then he would blame her, he would be hurt, he would be ashamed and he would leave the room and probably move out.

She still fought the tears begging to fall. Veneer gave her no reaction. Why wasn’t he reacting? Why couldn’t he just respond? Fuck, she knew this would happen. Now they would never talk about it again.

“That was very brave, Velvet.” Bell said. Velvet couldn’t see, but she was looking to Veneer to prompt him to speak. He was still processing.

Velvet couldn’t take the silence. She groaned and whined and eventually… began to cry. She hated crying in therapy. It was so humiliating.
Especially this sort of cry. It wasn’t an angry cry, like the tears that fell when she was yelling or screaming.

This was that whimpery-squeaky- afraid sounding cry.
She felt a hand on her back. Petting just the way Veneer would pet, palm stroking in big circles.

“That’s not your fault, Sis,” he said, sounding bewildered. Velvet was taken aback, still pushing her teary face into the couch cushion. Of course it was her fault. She had done it! Who else in the world could be responsible.

“He’s right Velvet, that was not your fault.” Bell added. Fuck, now they were all saying it.

Were they just trying to make her feel better? What the Christ was going on?

“Just stop,” Velvet cried. “Why can’t you just be fucking angry at me?” She begged. Velvet certainly felt angry at herself. Why weren’t they?

Veneer scoffed again, “You want be to be angry at you? Why? Wh- I don’t understand you, Velvet. You think everyone is going to be mad at you for shit that happened to you.” Veneer pleaded.

But it didn’t happen to her. She did it to herself.

“This stuff happened at Rageous?” Veneer tried to clarify.

“Yeah I already said that,” Velvet grumbled through tears.

“Uh- when we were seventeen? We didn’t even turn eighteen until we were incarcerated! Are you kidding me you think that’s your fault?” Veneer was getting uppity.

Bell gave him a look and a hand gesture to take it down a notch. He nodded, trying to get himself together. Now was the part where she would remain silent. She was there to move the conversation along, help it flow in the right direction. But it was flowing, and she didn’t want to speak over either of them.

“It was my fault, stupid!” Velvet growled, her voice muffled and angry and hurt and empty.

“No, it wasn’t. Who the hell told you that? Seventeen is literally a child. Legally a child. Who even- was it that first manager? It was, wasn’t it! I knew when I saw you sitting on his lap I should’ve-”
Velvet felt a wave of shock go through her, cutting Veneer off abruptly.

“AAH! Don’t ask who it was you psycho!” Velvet snapped. How dare he ask her to reveal something like that. She didn’t want him to know that part! She hadn’t agreed to that!

She didn’t even consider that he may ask, or worse, know. Obviously their first manager had been one of the people, but she didn’t think Veneer would remember walking in on them, it could have come off as something innocent.

How embarrassing.

“Velvet-” Veneer started, grabbing her shoulder to pull her out of the couch. “I’m done talking about this!” Velvet said loudly.

“Oh guys, it’s time to move on to something else. Drink your water Velvet.” Bell ordered. Velvet growled in frustration, although she did what she was told.
She took a sip of the water in irritation. She bit at the styrofoam around the rim of the cup.

Veneer slunk back to his spot on the floor. Velvet didn’t look at his face.

“Veneer, it’s ok if you want to talk about how all of this makes you feel. But you have to remember she doesn’t have to share details if she doesn’t want to.” Bell said.

Veneer nodded with a sigh. He really wanted nothing more than to hug his sister. Maybe get a few names… maybe to go purchase a gun…
No no, that wouldn’t help anything. Hugs would be better. When this was all over and they were safe back at home, he planned to do just that. Velvet was always much less hostile in her own home and would definitely allow it.

But Bell was right, he had pried too much. He reached up and took a block from the janga tower they had been playing with; it had been his turn. Velvet had returned to the couch, but when the tower fell down with lots of loud clanks, she peeked up.

A block fell right into Velvet’s cup of cashews.
Veneer looked at Velvet. It was obvious she was trying not to snicker at this, teary face and all.

Veneer gave a small laugh, nudging her. She laughed too.

The tower had fallen. Now it was time to rebuild.

Chapter Text

Truth be told, Veneer was not handling his newfound knowledge well. In his shared therapy session with Velvet, he had done his very best to hold himself together.

He had a horrible inclination that Velvet had been holding something back for a long time now.

He knew something must have happened. Something he missed. Something he should have seen. Maybe he hadn't been a very good brother, he hadn't been paying close enough attention. Maybe he should have been keeping more of a watchful eye.

He felt stupid. It had been a good while now, but at the time they were at Rageous Veneer was operating under the guise that Velvet looked out for the both of them, Velvet was in charge.

Velvet handled everything and Velvet made all the decisions. He trusted Velvet. She protected him. He assumed she had been protecting the both of them. He thought she had been protecting herself too.

How stupid. Stupid stupid stupid. He should have done something. He should have helped her. He should have told her she didn't need to do anything like that for them, it wasn't worth it and it was time to go home.

He felt like a shitty bother. A shitty twin. He was supposed to be her other half, he was supposed to know everything and make sure she was ok.

Arg, aren't twins supposed to share the same thoughts or something?

Velvet clearly needed help. Then and now. Why hadn't he seen that? Maybe if he had just pulled his head out of the sand for once he would have snapped out of it and been able to do anything at all.

He felt almost selfish. It had been almost easy to blindly follow Velvet.

At the time, she hadn't seemed sick. The first time he realized she was really unwell was at the night of the Rage Dome. When they were bound to fail and she kept going.

Floyd was almost gone and she had wanted to keep going. Veneer couldn't believe himself. He should have stopped her sooner. He should have been a man.

He was really beating himself up. The Veneer he was now would have known to stop, known to stop his sister from hurting someone else and known to stop her from hurting herself. He knew there was a big difference even from seventeen to twenty, but it just felt so wrong.

So unfair. Why was he so naïve. Why was he so useless. Why was he so compliant. He should have saved his sister. He should have saved Floyd.

No matter how violent and angry Velvet had been when they were at Rageous he should have fought back.

But...Any pushback he gave her at the time had felt like betrayal. Disobedience, even. Velvet had been a caretaker and leader to him for so long. It just felt wrong to disobey her. It felt like he was being a horrible idiot child.

Velvet had always seemed to know best. From as early as Veneer could remember, Velvet had been his commander and had taken care of him. Kept him out of trouble, kept him from embarrassing himself and her as well.

He didn't know when she had started to slip, but she had. He wished so desperately he had noticed sooner.

No matter how he pushed the memories down they surfaced up.

As he laid in his bed now, in his shared apartment with Velvet, One ugly memory in particular pushed to the front of his head.

He fought it as he laid alone. He could hear three other voices in the living room chatting. They sounded serious. A little solemn.

Ritz, Orchid, and his sister Velvet. Ritz had sent Veneer to bed as soon as they got back from therapy. "Go lay down, baby." He had said. It's what he always said when he could tell Veneer was out of steam. Or maybe on the verge of tears.

Ritz was good about that. He always sent Veneer into his room when he could tell he needed space for bad emotions. Veneer knew Ritz would be in shortly.

For now, however, he was alone with his thoughts. His ugly, ugly thoughts. Velvet had been so overbearing. There was no way he could have stepped up. No matter how badly he had wanted to, Velvet would have gone ballistic.

Back at Rageous. Velvet and Veneer were preparing for their interview with Kid Ritz. Finally. Finally they had made it onto one of the biggest talk shows shot at Rageous, the Bop on Top.

Velvet had been boasting about it all day. This was going to bring their status from stars to megastars. Whatever that meant. She had said that quite frequently. Just when was enough, enough?

Velvet had been high off the troll, obviously. Veneer had been high as well, albeit unwillingly.

They were about to go on, even though Veneer didn't want to. He was too high. He was anxious beyond belief. He didn't want to be interviewed right now. He didn't want to be filmed. He couldn't do it.

He wasn't sure exactly when Velvet's stern leading had turned violent exactly. But he could always tell when it was about to get violent in the moment.

Her well advised, guiding hand had turned to forceful and angry. All throughout childhood she had always pushed Veneer in the right direction, but now she was smacking and shouting and pinching him into a very strange direction.

He didn't know what to do with himself.

"Vels, I can't go on. Just do the interview without me, sis! You'll be great," Veneer had pleaded.

"Ok- not up for discussion, Veneer. Do you want to sabotage our chances? Is that what you're trying to do? You want us to fail?" She had retorted, also belligerently high.

"No..." Veneer had said back.

"I know you don't. You're just nervous. You'll do fine, it's just a five minute interview." Velvet had stood over him in the dressing room they were using to prepare for the show.

Ritz was approaching to do a final mic check. He knocked on the dressing room door.

"Hello?" Velvet peeked out.

"Hey super stars, ten minutes til' air. Can I check your mics?" He asked, scooting into the room as Velvet had seemed like she didn't really want to let him in.

"Of course you can!" She had said in a very fake-sounding tone. Veneer nodded as well.

Shoot. It didn't seem like a good time. Ritz had this whole thing planned out in his head where he had wanted to talk to Veneer, maybe get his foot in the door with him a little...Maybe get his number or something.

He hadn't really had a solid plan, but he had taken a liking to Veneer and wanted to get a chance to actually speak to him while they weren't on air.

Although now that he was looking at him, it didn't seem like a good time at all.

"May I?" Ritz asked, coming close to Velvet to check her mic. "Go right ahead," she smiled her slightly creepy smile. Ritz was offput by Velvet. He had a box of small bandaids he used to tape stage microphones in place. A habitual procedure before any of his interviews.

He taped it to her cheek quickly before backing off. Velvet seemed to have a very bad energy buzzing around her.

"Great, you're all set. Veneer, can I get yours too?" Ritz asked. Veneer had been staring at the corner of the room. He looked up at Ritz as he approached.

Ritz took a knee in front of Veneer, peeling open another tiny bandaid to secure his mic as well.

"I don't want to go on." Veneer had said in a measly voice. Ritz could literally feel Velvet's energy shift from off-putting to dangerous behind him.

"Ya nervous? That's ok. You guys have great vibes, it's going to be a breeze. But," Ritz taped down Veneer's mic, "If you really aren't up for it, I can just interview your sister." He tried to suggest. Ritz looked to Velvet encouragingly.

There was something very off about Velvet. And Veneer as well, he was noticing. But nowhere near the extent that Velvet was 'off'.

Veneer looked to Velvet as Ritz stood up and away from Veneer.

Still intrigued by Veneer, Ritz felt a little smitten at getting to hold his cheek while taping his mic.

"He'll be going on, don't worry." Velvet said, more as a threat to Veneer than anything.

"But I don't want to." Veneer suddenly said, feeling braver with another person in the room.

Velvet was quick to zip over to Veneer, speaking to him though gritted teeth and towering over him as she dug her creepy (in Ritz's opinion) nails into his shoulder.

Ritz had seen this before. Many many times before. Celebraties were very odd. They had secrets no one knew, and they could be very mean in private.

Disappointed, Ritz realized there was a bubble around Veneer and Velvet that he would never be allowed into. He shouldn't try with Veneer. Velvet was in the way.

"No..." Veneer was protesting in a whiney voice. He didn't want to be interviewed. He was trying to tell his sister. But she was seeing it as disobedience. She was seeing it as Veneer standing in her way. Standing in his own way.

Ritz was turning away as he heard Veneer yelp a bit. Velvet had pinched him. A sheepdog nipping the heels of sheep, keeping them in line and safe.

Veneer had had it. He was too high and anxious to go on. "No," he said again, pushing Velvet away.

Ritz tried to politely ignore as he was setting up their mics on a device he held in his hand. He wanted to give them whatever privacy he could in the small room. 'Please just stop fighting, let's just get through the interview', he thought.

He had been able to tune it out with so many other celebrities he had interacted with. It was almost the norm.

Velvet didn't like Veneer pushing her away. She pinched him again, harder under the arm where it would hurt. She was at his ear, threatening him not to embarrass her and himself in front of everyone. He was doing the interview and that was final.

Ritz was actively ignoring them now.

Veneer suddenly raised his voice a bit. He thought maybe, just maybe, Ritz would be more than a bystander and say something, do something about it. He would take Veneer's side against Velvet and convince her to do the interview alone, Veneer didn't have to.

"I said no! You're being a bitch-" Veneer had said loudly, although the rage in Velvet's face was making his blood run cold as he fawned and lowered his voice and his demeanor, "...Vel... sissy...I'm sorry- sorry I didn't mean-"

And then Velvet struck him across the face, pretty hard. Veneer cried, remembering his place. He didn't get to talk to Velvet like that.

Ritz grimaced, still facing away. It disturbed him how Velvet's handling of Veneer mirrored a mother disciplining a child. What had those two been through? What was their life like?

Though he could tell they lived in an entirely different world that he did, Ritz was still intrigued. He was almost more intrigued now than before. Morbid curiosity. He wanted to know Veneer. He had to know him. He wanted to know Velvet too, oddly enough.

This dynamic they had going on was so strange.

"You guys are all set." Ritz said. He felt bad. Maybe he shouldn't have ignored it.

"Great! Thanks so much," Velvet whirled around to Ritz again, smiling as if nothing had happened.

Veneer sat with his arms crossed, sniffling his tears in as best he could and facing sideways on the bench he rested on. He leaned against the wall miserably.

Ritz knew he definitely should have stepped in.

There was a knock at Veneer's door. Back to his apartment he now shared with Vel.

The door opened without Veneer answering. Ritz knew he would be allowed in.

Veneer's room was so cozy. It was smaller than Velvet's by a few feet. But that made his queen size beed seem that much bigger.

"Hi babe," Ritz said, sliding the door closed behind himself as he entered. He gave Veneer a thoughtful smile. Veneer peered up
at him from the bed. He had covered himself up and huddled down, trying to get his anxious feelings to dissipate.

"Hey," Veneer said back.

Ritz kicked his slides off and sank onto the bed next to Veneer, sitting upright. Veneer moved his head closer to Ritz's leg, touching his forehead to his thigh.

Ritz rubbed a hand against the top of Veneer's back. "Ooh, you're tense. How'd the session go baby?" He eased into the conversation. He knew Veneer would want to talk about it as soon as they got a moment alone.

Veneer shrugged and shook his head. He wanted to talk about how he was feeling, but he wanted to also be able to tip-toe around what Velvet had told him.

"It's ok. I'm here to listen. Aww...Don't shake, V." Ritz noticed Veneer was shuddering with anxiety.

"I know you are. Sorry- I just don't know where to start. Sorry." Veneer said.

"Its all good...What are you thinking about right now?" Ritz asked, slumping down in the bed a little more. He took his knit cap off and scratched at his head.

"Like everything. I don't know- I like- I feel like I'm in shock." Veneer said.

"Shock? Well we gotta warm you up then," Ritz smiled teasingly, "People die from shock baby," he goofed as he slid under the covers with Veneer, smothering him and laying on top of him.

Veneer started to snicker, unable to put a stop to it before Ritz was on top of him completely, kissing his cheek and rubbing his face against him. Veneer began to full on laugh, feeling a bit relieved now. Ritz was always here to make everything all better. He was so silly.

"You warm?" He asked Veneer.

"I'm squished!" Veneer squirmed underneath his boyfriend laughing merrily.

"What? I can't hear you- it's too muffled. What was that, V?" Ritz teased, rolling onto his back on top of Veneer. His head flopped back as Veneer wiggled underneath him, squealing with delight.

"Haha- help! Hehe- you big freak! Haha-" Veneer was rolling around, trying to wrap his arms around Ritz to tickle him or something, anything to get him off as he laughed.

"God damn this bed is lumpy!" Ritz was pretending Veneer wasn't even there now.

"Stop! Im not a bed! I'm gunna pee!" Veneer shrieked with laughter, kicking Ritz off.

"Ok, ok, I'm off," Ritz rolled off, re-situating and shuffling all the blankets around as he finally laid next to Veneer.

Veneer was smiling widely at Ritz now, expecting more playfulness.

"What, cutie? Whatcha' cheezing about? You all happy now?" Ritz teased him, leaning in close to kiss him.

Veneer snuggled close as they broke away from the kiss. "I love you." Veneer sighed, relieved. Ritz always made every sure situation seem like it was ok to laugh and smile.

"Love you too, stink." Ritz responded, reaching over Veneer to plug his phone in. That was always a sign that he was going to be there a while.

Good. Veneer needed him.

Veneer shuffled around and pulled his own phone out of his pocket, looking at Ritz hopefully.
Ritz pretended to sigh, and dutifully plugged his boyfriend's phone in for him as well.

The snuggled down in bed, fully dressed in day clothes. That didn't matter to Veneer. He was always comfortable when Ritz was next to him.

"You ready to talk about it now?" Ritz offered.

Veneer shrugged. "I suppose so...I dunno. I just- I learned some stuff. That was hard to hear."

Ritz snaked a hand around Veneer's waist. Veneer felt safe in his embrace. Ritz felt safe in Veneer's. He felt like he was in a bubble with Veneer that nobody else could get into.

"Yeah?" Ritz urged.

"Yeah. I don't know why I'm being such a dummy about it. Like it shouldn't upset me. It didn't even happen to me." Veneer sighed, picking at his thumbnail, which was already worn down from being picked.

Ritz raised an eyebrow. "Something happened to Velvet? Your twin, baby? Dude I wouldn't feel to bad about having empathy for 'Veneer part two'."

It made sense to Ritz that Veneer would feel bad when Velvet felt bad, of course. Why would that make Veneer feel guilty?

"I guess. I'm just overwhelmed by it all. I didn't know this stuff was going on. But I should have known. Ah- I feel so silly. I was being such an airhead while Vel n' Me were at Mount Rageous I wasn't paying attention to anything I should have been."

Veneer brought a hand up to his mouth to chew at his nail. Ritz placed a hand over Veneer's, and drew it away from his mouth. Veneer's poor nails had been bitten down so far this past week.

Ritz glanced around, eyeing the drawstring on his own hoodie. He lifted it to Veneer's mouth so he could chew on the aglet of the string as he had done many times before, instead of his own nail.

"Mm." Veeleer acknowledged, nibbling the string. That was something he wouldn't let anyone but Ritz see.

"Was it about Floyd?" Ritz prompted Veneer to
keep talking.

"Guess so." Veneer said halfheartedly. Ritz raised both his eyebrows, wordlessly asking 'and what else?'

"Vel has a lot of guilt about that I guess. I mean I do too, I have so much guilt. I still can't believe I did all that. Poor Floyd. Poor little guy-" Ritz Cut Veneer off a little by giving him a nice squeeze.

Veneer would spiral endlessly if you got him talking about Floyd getting hurt enough. Ritz knew that shouldn't be where this conversation went. They had talked about Floyd endlessly enough.

Now there was something else. Something new. Ritz could tell.

"I know, baby. I know you feel bad. You're doing a good job being a good friend now to make up for it...What else did you talk about?"

Ritz shifted as he felt Veneer start to move, re-adjusting his position. Veneer scooted down on the bed so he could rest his head against Ritz's chest. He was most comfortable there. Where he could hear Ritz's heart beat.

"Stuff." Veneer finally answered. He was poking around really answering. Ritz knew he wanted to talk about it. He always did. But Veneer was having trouble finding a good place to start.

"Stuff?" Ritz inquired. "What kind of stuff?"

"Old stuff. From Mount Rageous." Veneer tried to be vague.

"About her kicking your ass around and stuff?" Ritz tried to get a more specific answer.

Veneer made a face. Ritz couldn't see this.
"Uhm. Yeah. We talked about that too." Veneer answered. He didn't like Ritz's blunt phrasing, but he only described it as he saw it. Veneer knew that.

Ritz noticed how Veneer said they spoke about Velvet's violence 'too'. Clearly there was something more.

"Was it about the drugs?" Ritz tried.

"I mean a little, I guess..." Veneer answered.
So that wasn't it either. That wasn't the big thing.

"Was itttt..." Ritz was searching his memory for anything else significant that has happened at Rageous with the twins.

"You're not going to know baby, don't try and guess. It's not something anyone knows but her." Veneer warned.

"Wait, it wasn't about Velvet screwing everybody back then, was it?" Ritz realized.

Veneer stayed laying perfectly still against Ritz for about ten seconds. It was as if he hadn't even heard that. But he had.

He shot up off his boyfriend.

Betrayal. Offense. Deceit.

Ritz knew. He knew. He knew. He knew.

Veneer's face contorted into almost unrecognizable horror.

He knew. He knew. He knew.

"What-?" A gruesome feeling was bellowing in Ritz's stomach.

Why had he just said that?

Why had he said it outright like that?

Veneer's face told it all. His boyfriend's sweet blue eyes wide with anguish, his pupils shrunk down with a ghastliness to them.

What a sight. Ritz had never seen Veneer make that face. Veneer had never made that face before. This was utter treachery.

Ritz opened his mouth to try and speak. "Bab-" he was cut off as Veneer shrieked. Ritz and Veneer both jumped, neither expecting that sort of reaction.

"Jesus fuck-" Ritz was sliding back and away from Veneer who looked like he was about to explode into flames. Literally, not figuratively.

Veneer shrieked again, standing up and flapping his hands as if screaming was letting something out that was hurting him inside.

Ritz knew.

He knew and he hadn't even brought it up.

Had he known before it started?

Had he also done nothing to stop it?

Ritz was absolutely in hot water now, he had no idea what to do. Veneer was stood a good few feet away from him now.

"Baby, did you not know? I thought everyone knew-?" Ritz tried, but Veneer was snatching up a pillow from the bed and suffocating himself with it, screaming as hard as he could.

The mournful sound reverberated through the room, making Ritz's ears ring.

Veneer could not believe it. Ritz knew. Everyone knew. No one had helped her. No one had stopped those people.

Ritz realized suggesting many people knew was definitely the wrong thing to say. He could just kick himself.

"Veneer," Ritz said as Veneer finally stopped, pulling his face from the pillow and taking a deep breath, followed by many short quick breaths.

"Baby, stop," Ritz stood and went to Veneer.

'Oh fuck,' Ritz thought, 'here he goes again,'

"No! You knew! You knew and you did nothing! Who else knew? Oh my god oh my goooood," Veneer wailed in pain, breaking out into a sob and threw himself back on the bed and out of Ritz's grasp.

"You knew, you knew this whole time, you didn't do anything," Veneer was in shambles. "You didn't even tell me! Me! You- you-"

"Fuck almighty, V, I didn't know you didn't know! Fuck- I should have said something, god dammit, I didn't know! Girls- and guys- do that stuff all the time at Rageous I didn't-" Ritz was threading his fingers through his own hair.

"BAAAA! Stop! That's horrible! That's so horrible everyone just lets it happen?" Veneer balled.

"I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry baby. I know. I'm so sorry," Ritz was trying to soothe. He had seen Veneer freak out plenty of times. But he had never seen this. He had never seen Veneer get like this.

Acting like someone had died. This was grief. This was agony.

Veneer was babbling unintelligibly now.

"You- you knew- you just- you didn't-" just a string of words as he balled.

"Baby, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry." Ritz sat on the bed, placing a hand on Veneer's shoulder.

"I know it's horrible. Rageous is no place for you guys." Ritz said. It was true, he didn't want his boyfriend or Velvet for that matter to have anything to do with Rageous ever again.

Veneer cried. "Ahh- I want you..." He huffed through tears.

"I'm here. I'm right here." Ritz promised. Usually when Veneer had a crying fit, Ritz would be quick to scoop him up in a hug and kiss him until he calmed down.

This was new territory. This was scary.

"I want you to hold me," Veneer begged, as if he hadn't just literally sprung out of the bed and away from Ritz about two minutes prior.

"Come here." Ritz laid back down again, dutiful as always. He pulled Veneer close, so close.

"Why didn't you t-tell-" Veneer stopped to choke on his tears for a second, "you didn't tell me..."

Ritz held him close, guilty and very sorry. "I would have. I thought you knew. It's not something I would bring up randomly, baby. I thought you knew." Ritz promised.

"But I didn't know! I didn't know... I didn't know... I should have known. I should have protected my sister-" another wave of crying.

Ritz was glad Veneer had calmed down a little, and urged him to roll over to face him.
"I know you would have protected her if you knew. I know. You're a good brother." Ritz promised.

"No I'm noooot," Veneer whined, burying his face into Ritz's chest. "I didn't even know and she had to go through that all alone... I would have- I would have- I don't know! Called Mom and Daddy or something! I would have done something!" Veneer begged.

He felt like he was begging the universe to just take him back, he would do anything to just be able to go back and change what happened. If he could just go back knowing what he knew now, he could fix it.he could have done something ! Anything! He could make sure nobody laid a hand on his sister.

"I know you would’ve tried to. I'm sorry, baby. But I also know she had you on a really tight leash." Ritz suggested.

Veneer sniffled. With a quivering voice, he asked, "What do you mean?"

Ritz held Veneer close still, his own warm body pressing up against Veneer who was much warmer with emotion.

"I mean she wouldn't have let you stop her. She wasn't letting you do anything, V. She was calling the shots. And kicking your ass around when you tried to do anything she didn't want you to."

Veneer sniffled.

"You see what I'm saying?" Ritz asked.

Veneer nodded.
"I- I would have done something." He tried.

'Sure you would have, baby,' Ritz thought. He was more inclined to believe that Veneer would have been powerless to stop Velvet.

Ritz has seen first hand how Velvet had been. It was ugly.

Veneer pressed his forehead into Ritz chest hard as he grieved. He felt lied to. He knew logically Ritz hadn't meant to lie. He knew Ritz, he wouldn't have encouraged or even supported what had happened.

But it still hurt. Knowing Ritz knew.
Who else knew?

A knock on Veneer's door pounded silence into the room.

Veneer quieted himself down. Ritz had to clear his throat before answering. "It's unlocked," he said.

Orchid opened the door a little. Veneer faced away.

"Hey." She said. Velvet was not with her. Where was Veneer's sister?

"What's up?" Ritz asked.

"So- I'm taking Velvet to my house. I think she- I just want to keep an eye on her." Orchid answered.

She sounded wrong. Like a bizarro version of herself had replaced her. This Orchid sounded glum and serious. Orchid didn't sound like that.

Veneer felt like everything was wrong and off. Today had been horrible. Veneer was so ready for it to just be over.

"Ok. We'll hold down the fort." Ritz said. "Ven's got work tomorrow, are you taking the car?" Ritz inquired, trying to be somewhat reasonable in the situation around them.

"Mm-mm. My mom's picking us up." Orchid said.  Veneer though her voice sounded closer than before. Then there was another movement on the bed. It sunk as if someone else had sat down.

"I heard a yell. Are you ok?" Orchid was speaking to Veneer now.

Veneer had done a pretty good job thus far of not letting Orchid see this side of him, the whiney crybaby that he felt like.

He liked to present himself as sassy, charming, and personable. He was not being any of those things right now. He didn't want anyone outside of Ritz or his sister to see this ugliness.

Thankfully, Ritz diligently answered on his behalf.

"He'll be ok." He said, then lowered his voice. "Maybe separating them is a good idea for some cool-down time." He suggested.

Veneer didn't want to be away from his sister. He needed her. She needed him.

But he was of no help to her like this. And he knew she would be of no help to him either.

They were both a wreck.

He felt awful. That was his best friend. And he couldn't help her. He felt useless.

She was the one, after all, who had been through what she disclosed, not him. Why was he letting it affect him so much?

"I think so. See you guys," Orchid stood off the bed and made her exit, softly shutting the door behind her.

Veneer would usually hug both Velvet and Orchid goodbye with a big squeeze. His sister, and his sister by proxy.

And here he was laying in bed next to Ritz, a useless lump.

He felt a separation between them and the girls tonight. It felt as if Velvet and Orchid were in their own bubble, and that bubble was floating away with the wind.

Chapter Text

Floyd would be lying if he said he felt alright after seeing Velvet in such distress.

What a strange feeling. Velvet of all people.

Floyd was a very empathetic person. He couldn’t help it, it was just his nature. But for Velvet, he did not empathize.

Maybe it was his own personal rule. He practiced sympathy with her, not empathy.
He could know she felt bad and know what to do, but never allow himself to feel bad with her. He never let himself feel bad for her. He would not feel sad alongside her like he would anyone else.

Until her latest episode. Finally when Veneer had sent a messenger bug to him, and he begged John Dory to hustle him back to Veneer’s apartment, he saw the humanity in Velvet.

They had arrived very quickly. The ride through the hustle dimension had made Floyd sick. He didn’t care. Veneer needed him.

Velvet needed him.

Floyd knew he had to be a real adult in their lives; as despite their age they were still just two kids on their own. If not Floyd, who? No one. He had to be there. He knew it would hurt, but he had to be. He wanted to be.

He had met Veneer at the bottom of the stairs leading to their door. Veneer was crying. Floyd had given him the biggest hug he could.

“Just take me to her. I know what to do.” Floyd had said simply.

He could hear Velvet’s cries through the house. Pure wailing. She was trying to get whatever pain was inside of her out. It was killing her. Floyd knew that sound.

He had made that sound.

Although he had more or less grown out of it, he had been in her shoes.

Floyd knew that obviously there was a difference between himself and Velvet. While he knew - and could admit to only himself - he struggled with bipolar tendencies, Velvet’s actions overlapped a lot with his own from many years back.

Velvet seemed different. Her actions, her symptoms, aligned more with Borderline. Floyd didn’t care. No one else was coming up with any ideas, and he felt he was the only one who could help, and was actually willing to help.

He remembered how he had wrote everything out. It felt so good. It felt so bad. It felt so many different ways. But it had to come out for him, and it had to come out for Velvet.

He had darted into her room, her perfectly pristine and white room. She was sick. Her room was not a reflection of her at all, but a mask.

He instantly found a notebook and threw it open. He had to skip past a ton of bad poetry and Chappell Roan lyrics before he found a few blank pages. He had torn them out in a daze, snatching up a pencil that was twice his height and bringing them to her in the bathroom.

“Write, Velvet. Get it out.” He had said. And she had done so. He was so relieved when she stopped wailing long enough to write. It took ages. She wrote for so long, the wait itself was upsetting as he felt he was back in prison for a brief moment, waiting on Velvet.

Always waiting on Velvet. Eternally.

But Velvet was Veneer’s sister. A part of Veneer, his other half. And Floyd only wanted the best for Veneer. He could help Velvet. He could make that sacrifice.

Finally after what felt like another eternity, Velvet passed the papers back. Begged him to read.

How unfair was that. That Velvet, Floyd’s very abuser (and Floyd didn’t use that word lightly. In fact, he never said it to anyone but himself.) had wanted him to know her pain.

But Floyd made it so. He knew that was the next step. Velvet needed to be known or she would never move forward. She had been abused herself. And she didn’t even know it! She blamed herself. How naïve. How innocent, almost.

Floyd felt awful for her. For the first time since his capture, he felt something for Velvet. He felt bad.

Floyd had felt bad about his brothers. Anger towards John Dory, a longing towards Bruce and Clay, and guilt towards Branch.

But he never felt nothingness the way he had always felt about Velvet.

But now everything was different. Now he felt bad. He felt sad for her, he felt angry on her behalf.

That was new. Velvet was a person. He hadn’t thought of her that way before. He thought of her as Veneer’s sister. A hypothetical thought. Now she was real.

And she was crying and apologizing and begging to be seen.

It was disgusting. It was beautiful. It made him happy, and sad. It made him angry. It made him… relieved? It made him… well, he didn’t quite know.

It hit a little close to home. Very close to home. He didn’t like reading her letter at all. It made him sick. It made him think of his own oldest brother, John Dory.

John, who had obscured their entire family. Who had brought their family down in flames. Who had been his only parental figure for years, who had loved him and fed him and bandaged his scrapes, who had taught him to read and play and sing. John who had left.

Floyd hated being there with Velvet. It forced him to finally think about John.

What had Floyd’s oldest brother really been through? John’s path from gentle, kind older brother turned controlling and unkind figure mirrored Velvet so much. It made him want to cry. But he did not.

And now, a day or two later, Floyd felt something he hadn’t felt in a long , long time. He wanted his older brother. He felt like a condensed, small version of the man he was. He felt needy and longing.

He was sat alone in his room in Branch’s bunker. He contemplated. He wanted to see John. He knew Rhonda was only a short walk away. But how would John react to seeing Floyd at such an odd hour of the night?

John was pushy. He demanded Floyd get better as quickly as possible, do things he was not ready to do. He was the leader of the expedition in which Floyd had been forced to walk on his crutches the first time.

And Floyd had eventually given in, way later on in the day. John seemed pleased. Floyd had not been ready, emotionally or physically, but John only cared that he moved forward.

Floyd decided he wanted his big brother.

He strapped one of the braces on his right leg, opting only for the right crutch. It had been a good day as far as pain went, he only needed one. He walked out of his room, through the bunker to the lift.

He passed Branch.

“Where are you going?” Branch asked, concerned. Poppy was sat on the couch with him.

“Don’t worry, just going to Rhonda.” Floyd answered quietly.

Branch cared for him so much. Maybe his insistence that Floyd took it so slowly was to overcompensate for John being so incredibly pushy.

“Well… alright.” Branch said.

“Oh let ‘em go, he’s fine,” Poppy said with an encouraging smile.

Floyd was happy with that. Poppy always seemed to be on his side.

Floyd made his way out of the bunker, a few yards away towards Rhonda. The beast smiled at him welcomingly. Floyd gave her a pat as he used her as a support to get to the stairs.

He knocked on the door.

“Yeah,” John called invitingly from inside.

Floyd entered. He took the steps slowly, but was able to manage himself.

He pushed open the door and cool wind hit his face.

“Floyd?” John inquired, only looking up from
the book he appeared to be sketching in for a second.

“John Dory,” Floyd greeted him. So he was permitted to enter.

“You’re up late,” John suggested as he continued to sketch. Floyd closed the door behind him, and slowly came over to the small bed where John lay. He had one l knee up, resting what looked like a sketchbook against it.

He scooted over to make room for Floyd without a second thought. John wore an old t-shirt and some plaid pajama pants.

Floyd took up the spot on the bed next to his brother, leaning against his shoulder and wrapping an arm around him.

That was very comforting. Floyd had been needing this for a few days now. John was sketching something in charcoal. He had a smear of charcoal on his face in the shape of a comical goatee, indicating he had touched his chin while thinking.

“What’s up kid,” John said mindlessly, continuing to sketch. Floyd only snuggled his side.

He watched John draw an impressive landscape in black and white. He watched as he struck the utensil downwards against the page to create the shadows on an evergreen tree. He watched for a long time.

Then John wiggled the arm pinned down by Floyd free, wrapping it around his little brother.
“You’re awfully big to be held,” John joked, still fixed on the page.

Floyd didn’t respond for a while. He was quite big to be held in the way he was wordlessly asking his brother to hold him.

“You’re a good big brother.” Floyd found himself saying.

John was elated, but he would not show this.

“Thanks kid. You make a pretty good little brother too.” He said, satisfied.

There was more silence as John was focused on finishing the drawing. Then, he spoke again.

“You know, I was hard on you about getting back on your feet. I owe you an apology.
It’s just- you and Branch are so alike. And he was pushing you to stay down in that hole with him. I guess we had different ideas on what healing looked like for you.” John said.

Floyd didn’t move away from the hug.

“What I mean is- you done’ a good job getting back on your feet after all that mess happened. I’m sorry I pushed you so fast.” John said.

Floyd definitely felt like crying now. Had he ever head John apologize in his life? Absolutely not, now that he thought of it.

He kept quiet to keep from tearing up.

John knew Floyd, he didn’t demand be speak. He knew Floyd didn’t want to cry. Floyd’s face was hot with emotion and he didn’t want his throat to start feeling that familiar burn.

“Freedom is a beautiful thing, Floyd. I wanted you to have that. You deserve it after all those months. It felt like you were going from one prison to another. From diamond prison to the prison you put yourself in, in that bunker.” John began to pat Floyd in a familiar way.

John always pat his younger brothers in the way one would pat an animal. It was rough, but familiar. Safe. Comforting.

“I guess it’s not as simple as that, is it bud? I’ve done a lot of thinking. From now on, I’ll go at your pace.” John concluded. Still patting Floyd roughly on the arm.

Floyd nodded. It’s all he could do not to get emotional.

Chapter Text

     Orchid's room was the complete opposite of Velvet's.

Where Velvet's room was white and pristine with walls completely empty, Orchid's was lived in and loved and decorated.

For starters, Orchid's room was obviously her childhood bedroom. There were purple walls and pink carpet with all kinds of dents and dings everywhere.

There were so many posters, Velvet couldn't pick a spot to look at. She was surprised at first when she didn't see any of the posters of herself hung proudly in Orchid's room.

Orchid had been their graphic designer, after all. She had been the artist behind a lot of their merchandise.

That is until Velvet, the clever detective she was, noticed a few obvious blank spots on the walls.
There had clearly been posters there before in those perfectly rectangular spots. And there were scuffs in the paint where it looked like tape had been ripped down.

It didn't take Velvet long to spot a few rolled up posters in Orchid's open closet. Bingo, she thought. How cute. Maybe Orchid had been embarrassed and taken them down.

Velvet had been in Orchid's room before, briefly. They usually hung out downstairs for Velvet's own comfort. Therefore Velvet had not really had the time to observe Orchid's room the way she was now.

Her house was close to the woods, and she kept all her windows open for some reason. Bugs and crickets alike all sang out loudly. The TV was playing some nonsense, and the bathroom fan whirred loudly.

Orchid seemed to like to have a lot of sounds all happening at once.

Velvet looked at Orchid, who was ping-ponging around the room, tidying. The second she started one thing, she would get distracted and tidy another. From her dresser to the floor in front of the closet, to the bathroom to the floor once more.

Velvet found this endearing. Orchid was a scatterbrain sometimes. She was trying to clean for Velvet. After all she hadn't cleaned up prior to her coming over.

Initially she planned on spending the night at Velvet and Veneer's apartment. But after such an awful time in therapy, Velvet had confessed to Orchid that she desperately needed to 'get out of there.'

Velvet wasn't mad at Veneer. Not by a long stretch. But she was now quite uncomfortable being around him for the night. She didn't know what to make of his reaction to what she had just unveiled today.

Maybe she was sort of expecting some sort of support. Maybe a hug and some kind words.

But Veneer had reacted in a way she didn't expect. Maybe she should have expected it. After all, she was telling him something quite horrible.
Veneer had gotten just as upset as she was, poking and prodding for more information.

Velvet didn't like that. She didn't want to have to comfort Veneer. She had needed comfort.

Orchid was sitting on her knees now by the closet, picking up clothes and throwing them into a laundry hamper.

Velvet watched curiously. She wondered if she should say something about the obvious posters in the closet.

She and Orchid had been picked up by Orchid's mom outside of their apartment. At the time Velvet had been trying not to cry. But the drive had been filled with gentle music Orchid's mom played in another language, and she had been treated to McDonald's to her surprise.

Orchid's mom spoke another language Velvet didn't understand, but she always felt welcomed and embraced.

Orchid's mom was a very special person to Velvet. She loved Orchid and Velvet both with no exception.
She was always kind to Orchid. Always gentle and always warm and giving.

At first, of course, Velvet had a distrust towards her. Naturally.

Parents couldn't be trusted.

But time and time again, Orchid's mom had proven to Velvet that she was trustworthy. She would not yell or get angry or shout.

Velvet felt herself slowly coming to like her very much.

It made her feel small and almost weak. Begrudgingly it made her reflect on her own parents.

»»——⍟——««

Velvet had found she had grown into having a deep distrust with her parents. It happened quite early in her life, she had only just started kindergarten when she remembered the first feelings of wariness.

Veneer trusted both parents completely. Easily. Even when they let something bad happen. They could accidentally snap and yell at him, speak without thinking and hurt feelings, and had even sent him to his room just for being too noisy. Veneer would always forgive them.

Velvet could not. She learned quickly that her parents didn't know what they were doing. She had no faith in them, no trust. She rebelled. She pushed back. She pulled away. She would not let mom and dad lull her into a false sense of security, only for them to make a mistake again.

Every mistake was detrimental to Velvet. Every time they hurt Veneer, albeit unintentionally as most first-time parents did, was a betrayal to her.
She didn't understand why Veneer forgave them so quickly. So easily.

That was why Velvet had to protect him. She was a whole six minutes older, and that was old enough to earn her the "big" sister title...In her mind anyway.

And with that title came responsibility.

Keeping mom and dad at bay. The further she was from them emotionally, the less likely she was to be hurt. They didn't understand her. She was worried they didn't understand Veneer either.

They didn't understand why she had so many crying fits. She felt that was the only way to get her and Veneer's needs across; she was only listened to when she made a big enough fuss. She had been brushed off so many times she formed a habit of immediately crying when she didn't get her way.

Her dad was usually pretty good at appeasing her, giving into whatever she asked for. But her mother was a bit younger, not used to having children around. She loved Velvet with everything she had but it had never been enough for Velvet. Nobody understood why Velvet was so high strung.

There had been a time one night where Velvet was home alone with mom. She must have been around eight years old. She was never alone without Veneer with just one parent.

Her daddy had gone to the store and invited them both to come. Normally Velvet would tag along when her mom took them to the store to make sure she didn't stap at Veneer. But dad was different, he didn't snap like mom.

So she let Veneer go alone. Leaving herself in the house with her mom. She was never alone with her mom.

It almost seemed to Velvet like her mom didn't want to be alone with her.

Velvet abandoned the Polly pockets she was playing with on the floor. She crept around the living room, watching her mom play solitaire on the family computer. Her mom could see Velvet watching her out of the corner of her eye, and invited her over to the computer to watch. Velvet walked over in hesitation.

She didn't know why she hadn't just stayed in her room. She didn't know why she felt the need to watch her mom. She didn't usually feel the need to be close to her. But now was her chance, she was alone with her and she could have all the attention she wanted. Did she want that?

Mom was lifting a tiny Velvet up into her lap now, to Velvet's surprise and delight. "Here," mom lifted Velvet's hand onto the mouse and showed her how to stack the little digital cards. Velvet was smiling widely, feeling safe. She leaned her head back against her mom.

Her mom was tender and gentle. Something she was usually too stressed or preoccupied to be. She held an arm around Velvet, securing her like a seatbelt. Velvet placed a hand over her mom's arm, smiling happily. She didn't speak, letting her mom explain the game in a gentle voice.

She loved the gentleness from her mom, something she did not often receive. She was swinging her feet, the heels of her shoes tapping against her mom's legs. She didn't even get mad about it! Velvet was feeling so happy. So loved.

"Stack that onto the queen. There you go, good girl. So smart." Her mom praised.

Velvet beamed. Her mom never praised her like that. This was wonderful, maybe mom was finally getting used to the idea of parenting.

Velvet didn't realize how much she had needed this.

And then Veneer and her dad came home. To her dismay, she was picked right back up and placed on the ground alone. Mom was going over to see Veneer and dad who had brought her some flowers from the grocery store.

Velvet stared. She fumed. She watched.

Mom kissed dad on the face and Veneer on the head. Velvet hadn't received a kiss.

Sure she had received praise and a chance to sit in mom's lap, but it wasn't a kiss on the head.

Velvet kicked the computer chair over. It rolled a foot before it fell over against the wall.

Everybody was looking at her now, just like she wanted, but there were angry voices and sounds of shock. Not what she wanted.

Velvet took herself up to her and Veneer's room and hid in the closet. She felt stupid. She had let herself get close to mom, even if it was only for a moment, and she had wound up hurt. Abandoned. Betrayed.

Nobody had even asked what was wrong when she kicked the chair. Everybody had just gotten mad and confused. Velvet was sitting in the closet with a pair safety scissors from the craft box, mindlessly cutting up a shirt she found on the floor.

She was angry and hurt, and that stupid shirt was feeling the wrath of it.

Somebody opened the bedroom door. "Mommy?" Velvet said hopefully, dragging the closet door open.

Surely her mom must have come in to apologize for ruining their sacred computer time. Velvet had made herself vulnerable and even let herself be held, and mom had completely thrown that all away.

To her disappointment it was Veneer standing there. He held a smaller bouquet of flowers. "Daddy got one for you too. We didn't forget about you, I'm sorry." Veneer said nervously.

There had been no special occasion, her and mom had just received flowers because they were loved. Velvet scrunched back up in the closet, tucking her head back down. Veneer stood there for a second before crawling into the closet with her. He placed the bouquet of flowers in front of her.

"I'm sorry you thought we didn't get you a present too." Veneer said, patting his sister.

Stupid Veneer, he didn't know anything. He didn't know why Velvet was upset and he was always assuming incorrectly.

Though he understood her the most out of anyone, he still didn't understand her all the way.

"I don't care." Velvet had said.

Veneer looked down to see what she was cutting up.

"Is that my special dance recital uniform?" Veneer asked.

It was.

Velvet had destroyed yet another of Veneer's possessions.

She tossed it out of her hands. She hadn't meant to damage it. It just happened to be on the floor.

Veneer took the scissors away from his sister.

He could feel upset about the uniform later.

"Are you sad?" He asked.

"Like you care." Velvet responded.

Veneer could not ever understand. He was liked much more than she was.

Still, he sat with her and patted her shoulder.

»»——⍟——««

Velvet’s thoughts were interrupted as Orchid’s mom opened the door to her bedroom.

Velvet was a little surprised she didn’t even knock.

Orchid looked up from the laundry pile she was tidying.

“Hi Mama,” she said, still seated comfortable as ever. Her mom approached her and handed her a bowl, and kissed her forehead. She then approached Velvet and handed her a bowl too, and to Velvet’s surprise she also received a kiss on the forehead.

“Oh- oh, thank you-” the managed. She was shocked. Orchid’s mom nodded and said something to Orchid that Velvet didn’t understand, and then she was gone.

Velvet watched her close the door behind her. Then she looked down at the bowl she was handed. Fresh cut fruit. It looked like mango and strawberries.

Velvet looked at Orchid for an explanation.

“She wants you to feel better.” Orchid simply said, going back to finishing her mess in the closet.

Nobody had ever just brought Velvet a bowl of fruit unprompted.

Velvet started to cry. She tried not to make any noise.

Orchid’s mom was kind to her for no reason at all. She felt she hadn’t even earned it. She was starving, so she used her fingers to eat a few pieces of mango. It was fresh mango. Not even pre cut. Her mom hat gone through all the trouble of cutting up fruit for her.

Why? Velvet had done nothing but show up with red puffy eyes and a big frown.

Orchid stood and popped her back. “Ok- sorry about the mess. That looks better now, don’t you think?” She turned to Velvet.

“Baby what’s wrong!” Orchid realized Velvet was once again in tears. Per usual, what else did she do but cry?

Velvet shook her head. “Nothing. Sorry.” She answered. Although she didn’t let Orchid calling her baby slip away. She loved those terms of endearment.

Orchid sat down next to Velvet with her own bowl of fruit. She adjusted herself to sit right up close to Velvet, still giving her enough room to pull away if she felt the need.

Velvet leaned her head against Orchid’s shoulder.

“You like the fruit?” Orchid said sweetly, gentle as ever. She knew Velvet had been a bit of a teary mess as of late. Especially after today. She knew it had been hard on Velvet.

Velvet nodded in response.

Orchid took a piece of strawberry and held it up to Velvet’s mouth, seeing she hadn’t tried any yet.
“It’s from the farmers market, I think you’ll really like it. They’re extra sweet.” Orchid said.

Velvet opened her mouth and accepted the piece of fruit. It was nice and cool, straight from the fridge.

“Good?” Orchid asked. It certainly was. But she didn’t deserve the girl of her dreams hand feeding her fruit that her wonderful mother had cut up just for her.

Tears fell down her face. Velvet nodded nonetheless. “You’re ok m’love.” Orchid said.
Velvet couldn’t stand it. Orchid was so sweet. She was literally everything Velvet wanted. She was meeting her needs exactly.

Velvet chewed and swallowed, letting out a huff with her tears.

“Want another?” Orchid asked, already having a piece ready. Velvet wept a little as she took a second bite.

“Is it just… are you thinking about today?” Orchid tried.

Velvet shrugged as she chewed.

“It’s ok. We don’t have to talk about it.” Orchid promised. That’s why Velvet loved her so. She never pushed. Exactly what Velvet needed.

“Later.” Velvet said. Orchid understood. They would talk about it later. Velvet was comfortable with the notion that Orchid would never force her.

Of course Veneer never meant to force her, he was just so prone to panicking as soon as he knew something was wrong. It wasn’t his fault. It was the only way he knew how to help. Even still, Velvet felt a heavy sense of guilt in having to reach out to others for comfort.

Chapter Text

    "How are you not nervous!" Orchid said playfully to her girlfriend, Velvet.

Velvet came up behind Orchid who was standing in the long mirror in Velvet's bedroom. She examined Orchid's reflection, and then her own.

She reached up and tucked in Orchid's shirt for her. It was a purple floral blouse she had borrowed from Velvet, which she wore with some high waisted dress pants that came to a flare around the ankles.

"I'm just not. You shouldn't be either. My parents suck but they're not that kind of sucky. I don't think they'll care I'm dating a girl." Velvet said flatly.

Though truthfully she was expecting to be hounded with questions over text after the night was over.

The two couples, Veneer and Ritz, Velvet and Orchid, had been invited to supper at Velvet and Veneer's folks' house.

This was a monthly sort of thing that, until now, Velvet had declined invitation to. Veneer had always attended since the very moment he got out of prison. For six months or so it was just him. Eventually he started bringing Ritz around... to Velvet's admitted jealousy.

Her parents knew about Ritz before even she did. That was something she still holds a tiny bit or resentment for, but hey- now Veneer knew about Orchid when her parents didn't.
She supposed they were even.

However, she hoped it would burn them just a little. Just enough to give them a taste of their own medicine.

She stepped up to the mirror as Orchid stepped away, going to the bed to sit anxiously and charge her phone a bit more.

Velvet herself wore a snug fitting black dress-skirt that went down to her knees, which she chose with intention.

Regrettably, Velvet still had some spots on her leg from when she hadn't been doing so good. She starred in the mirror.

For some reason, at the time of doing it, she had reasoned it wasn't as bad as someone taking a knife to themselves, and it wasn't half as bad as when she had been mixing whatever pills she could get her hands on with drinking all day.

What a lie. An ugly lie. Now in hindsight she felt extremely stupid. Who did that? What kind of person did that to themselves? What kind of pitiful, groveling, self-disrespectful-

Orchid put a hand on Velvet's shoulder.
"You look so pretty, Vellie-bell," Orchid reminded her.

Right. From the outside, she did look perfect. Her sage colored knit sweater tucked perfectly into her skirt, and her gold delicate jewelry was the perfect touch. Perfection all around. Right?

"But do I look perfect?" Velvet found herself wondering out loud. She was not the type to fish for complements. She simply received them. She felt silly and not at all like herself for even asking.

Orchid stepped in front of her, breaking away her view of herself in the mirror. Orchid looked perfect.
Now there was perfection, Velvet thought.

And as mentioned briefly, Orchid was covered in all sorts of dings and scars and scrapes, acne spots and the like. She was still very beautiful.
Especially to Velvet.

"You always look perfect." Orchid promised her. She stood on her tip-toes to lean up and kiss Velvet on the forehead. Velvet felt warmth enter her face, even under her arms and shoulders.

"I love you." Velvet again found herself saying in a moment of vulnerability. She had never initiated that particular exchange before. But Orchid had said it a few times at this point. Surely it must be true. The two loved each other, and Orchid would not leave Velvet hanging and allow her to be the only one to say it.

"I love you too, lovely girl." Orchid promised. It always felt like a promise the way Orchid said it. She said it like she really really meant it.
And the way she called Velvet 'lovely girl' made her melt.

She didn't feel like a lovely girl. She felt like a trashy, washed-up and ran-through sort of girl. But in a few short words Orchid could change her whole perception of herself. Velvet was a lovely girl. She could be soft, and kind, and loved.

Velvet cleared her throat, realizing she was giving a smitten smile and staring at Orchid.

"Thanks. Uhm. We should probably go." She broke her hands away from Orchid's, her face feeling even hotter at the realization that she had been holding hands.

She loved holding hands with Orchid. She loved feeling the callouses on her left hand from always holding a utensil and drawing.

How Orchid still managed to make her flushed was a mystery to her. No one else had ever made her feel that way. Orchid nodded, her shoulders rising with a giddy shyness as she giggled, stepping back over to the bed.

"Ok, you're right. Plenty of time for me to fluster you later," Orchid had grabbed her phone and hurried out of the bedroom before Velvet could even respond.

She wanted to sass back that she was not flustered, nobody flustered Velvet. But Orchid was gone out of the room. Too late.

And she was definitely flustered.

The car ride there was generally uneventful. Velvet thought about maybe giving Orchid some forewarning, maybe coming up with a plan of what to say. Maybe telling Orchid to ignore anything and everything her mother said.
But everyone seemed to be in high spirits. Velvet, for once, didn't want to ruin that.

Maybe everything would be alright. Maybe for once things would go smoothly.

Velvet sat in the driver's seat, Orchid in the passenger. Ritz and Veneer were in the back, giggling about something that had nothing to do with their parents.

If they weren't concerned, Velvet shouldn't be either. Besides, she had talked with Orchid before about how she hadn't really gotten along with her parents, particularly her mother,  through her teenage years.

Orchid had said she knew how that could be.
Maybe it wasn't a big deal after all. They weren't teens anymore, after all. Maybe things would mellow out naturally.

Truthfully, Velvet hadn't really been good about upkeeping her relationship with her parents. It was sort of uncomfortable for her.

While she knew Veneer had talked in depth about everything, their time at Rageous, using the troll, what it was like being incarcerated, his own guilt and so on and so forth... Velvet had not really wanted to.

What she had done, and what she had dragged Veneer into, was embarrassing to her.
It was foolish and bound to fail. Her dad, and her mother, had both been right. She shouldn't have rushed into the limelight without their guiding hands.

But she had been so desperate to get away from it all as a teenager. She hadn't listened. And had brought Veneer down with her. As always.

She hoped it wouldn't be brought up over dinner.

Although she found solace in the fact that that even if it was, it would probably be in a teasing manner and not to truly scold her.

It was strange really. As much as her parents has been on her behind scolding and scorning her through her teen years, she had received nothing of the sort as of late.

Mama and Daddy knew that the slightest hint of disapproval from them was sure to put her off and push her further away. They just wanted a relationship with her.

"You coming?" Orchid was saying to Velvet.
Velvet hadn't even realized that she had already pulled up and parked in the driveway of her parent's house. Veneer and Ritz were hopping out of the vehicle, and Orchid was out and stood there with the door open.

"Yeah." Velvet said instinctively, and switched off the car as she got out.

The front door to the split level house was opening before the four younger Rageons were even out of the driveway.

'Very enthusiastic tonight, aren't we?' Velvet thought to herself, and tried not to glare. She knew she needed to be nicer.

"Hi! Oh, hello my Venny," Her mother was greeting Veneer who had pranced up the stairs to the front door. Velvet and Orchid followed behind him and Ritz, taking he stairs a bit slowly to give their parents time to hug and greet.

Velvet didn't like the feeling of looking up at her parents from a lower ground. She hurried up the stairs, making sure not to leave Orchid behind.

She watched her mother squeeze Veneer and hug Ritz, her father patting them both on the back.
Finally it was her turn to approach.

"Velvet! Let me look at you," Her mom said with a big smile. Velvet let herself be subjected to being held at arms length and examined.

"Oh, you look so nice. So tasteful. See, I've always told you you're such a beautiful girl, you don't need all that makeup and skimpy stuff to show it," her mother dove in instantly.

'Starting off on a great note,' Velvet thought.

"Hi Mama. Daddy." She greeted. Her dad rescued her from her mother's arms, pulling her in for a hug that was far too tight as well. She felt her back crack as he squeezed. She didn't realize how much she had actually missed that.
She didn't realize how much she missed dad.

That's right, dad was safe. Dad had not done anything to hurt her ever really.

Velvet hugged back in that moment of realization.

"Who's this?" Her mom said kindly with a smile as she gestured to Orchid.

'Here goes nothing.' Velvet thought. Was Veneer still nearby? He was. He was just inside. He was her lifeline should anything ever go wrong.

"This is my girlfriend, Orchid." Velvet said plainly.

Her mom was already taking Orchid's hands to hold her close and examine her as well.
"Girlfriend-Girlfriend?" Her father asked for clarification, still smiling welcomingly.

The word girlfriend was thrown around all the time in a platonic manner, usually by Veneer. All of his girl friends were his girlfriends, including Orchid.

"Yes, like we're dating." Velvet said flatly once more. She always held a flat tone with her parents. It felt safer to refrain from showing much emotion when it wasn't needed.

Good ol' Dad, always taking each new development as if it weren't shocking at all. Keeping the ball rolling as he always did.

"Well alright then, welcome to the family Orchid," he said, offering her a handshake as she slipped her hands away from Velvet's mother.

"Thank you!" Orchid was a bit shocked at the positive reaction. "It's nice to meet you,"

Mom looked at Velvet, a puzzling glance.
"You're dating someone? But honey...you don't get along with others,"

And there it was. The first jab at Velvet of the night.

Velvet tried not to scowl.

Nobody seemed to pick up on this comment except for Orchid, who turned her head to look at Velvet's mother. She didn't know what to make of such a statement.

"It's fine mom." Velvet assured.

"Does she know about your anger problems?" Mom said in false concern.

Jab number two.

"It's fine, mom," Velvet assured again, rolling her eyes up as everyone walked in the house.

Orchid had picked up on this immediately, and was stunned, to say the least. To everyone else it was now going to seem like Velvet was the one with attitude since she had rolled her eyes and delivered back an irritated tone. Just like always.
It was always Velvet in the wrong.

"Suppers almost ready, that was perfect timing everyone," Dad was calling, already back in the kitchen.

Velvet did her best not to show her displeasure with her mom as she inserted herself between Velvet and Orchid. She wrapped an arm around Velvet's shoulder as she led her in the house, closing the door behind them.

"I can't believe how tall you've gotten. I stopped growing when I was seventeen or eighteen. Just about the time you went to jail. But you've really shot up since then, haven't you?" Mom said nonchalantly.

Jab number three, bringing up the obviously uncomfortable subject of her incarceration. And her height, which she hadn't thought to be self-conscious about until this very moment.

She was quite tall. Taller than Orchid, and when she wore heels she was taller than Veneer too.

"I guess you got your father's genes." Mom finished.

Orchid was staring at Velvet, waiting for her to look back. She was giving a look like 'are you hearing this?'

Velvet did not look back. She already knew. She knew exactly what to expect, and she knew nobody else would notice.

It was a miracle Orchid even noticed.
'Get with the program. This is just the way it is.' Velvet thought, hoping Orchid would pick up on it. She still didn't look at her girlfriend.

Dad was fussing over the dinner table. Ritz was now helping him add the extra leaf into the table as there were more guests than expected.

Ritz was helping Dad move the large, polished slab of wood. Mom had hurried into the kitchen and yanked an apron off its hook on the wall, tossing it on as she used a pot holder to move the mashed potatoes off the burner.

"Grab some plates for me Ven-boy," Mom called sweetly from the kitchen. Veneer lept into action, going to the cabinet and counting out a stack of plates.

"Anything we can do to help Mrs. Greene?"Orchid offered, hands folded awkwardly behind her back.

Velvet's mom was placing a hand against Orchid's arm, "She doesn't want to, honey. You girls just go sit." She said confidently. She was referring to Velvet. Jab number four.

Of course Velvet would help if only asked. But mom wouldn't have it. Velvet was deemed unwilling to help by mom a long time ago, and that was her place from now on.

It was her roll to fill. Unhelpful, troublesome daughter. Mom's own personal scapegoat.

"Oh-ok," Orchid said obediently. She realized she was already being lumped in with Velvet. Maybe now there would be two scapegoats. Velvet hoped to god not.
And Orchid was also realizing Velvet was doomed to live in Mom's narrative.

She gave a sideways glance to Velvet as they headed to the table that was now being set. Velvet refused to meet her gaze.

Her family life was embarrassing to her for a reason. She didn't get to be the Velvet she wanted to be around her parents. She was inside a box she was not permitted to grow out of.

Everything troubling about Velvet was suddenly making a lot of sense to Orchid.

Dinner was eaten and conversations were had, and when plates were ready to be cleared Velvet pushed her chair out and offered to gather them to bring to the sink.

"No, it's ok. I know you don't want to." Mom said in a sad tone. Jab number... what number was this again? Velvet had lost count

That wasn't fair. Mom didn't get to pretend to be sad over something that hadn't even happened. Velvet was starting to feel a bit trapped again.

She wanted to be helpful. She was helpful. She had grown to be a helpful person. Sort of. She was working on it, at least. And mom was stunting her.
Velvet hadn't done anything wrong, but from an outside perspective it looked like she was causing disarray. It wasn't fair. It was never fair. Velvet felt like she didn't even have a fighting chance. Her role was already decided long ago and she couldn't break out of it.

Dad was pulling out a deck of cards at the table.

"Who's playing go fish?" He asked with a smile.

Ritz raised a hand.

"Me!" Veneer called merrily, raising a hand as well. "And shuffle them this time!" He teased.

"What, I shuffled them earlier, before you guys got here." Dad teased him. He pretended to deal from the bottom of the deck to Veneer.

"Daddy, I saw that," Veneer squealed and patted his hands against the table. Ritz was laughing too. Velvet wanted in. Velvet wanted to be laughing with Dad and Veneer and everyone else.

She wanted to be a part of that. "Us too." Velvet said.

"Alright then,  seven for each of you," Dad said as he dealt the cards to Orchid and Velvet. Orchid tried a smile at Velvet. Velvet wouldn't look back.

Mom sighed, and pushed herself up from the table. "I'll do the dishes myself..." she said in a forlorn manner.

Fine. If that's what mom wanted, she could do them herself. She had blatantly refused help after all. And Velvet didn't see anyone else offering up help.

A few rounds of cards went by with mom sighing and brooding around the kitchen and dining room.

"It's almost eight o'clock. My show is about to be on. Not that I can ever get anybody to watch it with me..." Mom was pouting.

Orchid was realizing she was close to her limit with Velvet's mom. She tried one final time to shoot a look over to Velvet.

Once again, Velvet did not look back. She already knew damn well.

"Why don't you go sit with your mom." Dad suggested gently to Velvet, in a tone that almost implied she was somehow in the wrong for not immediately offering.

But Velvet knew well and good if she offered right away without giving mom a chance to sulk she would be turned down. It would always be something along the lines of 'no, I know you don't want to. It's ok, I'll watch it alone'.

That's right. Velvet remembered now. Painful reminder it was.

Dad was not unsafe for anything he ever did, but for the lack of what he had done.

He was compliant with mom. Always wanting to keep her appeased. And if that meant sacrificing Velvet, then so be it. As long as mom was happy.

And now Velver was being thrown out of the game she so desperately wanted to be a part of. But that wasn't her place.

Velvet was already feeling quite burnt out on this. Why did it have to be her? Everyone else was capable of watching some dumb soap opera on cable TV with mom.

But no one else had to. Mom wanted her. She wanted Velvet to be left out, just like she was. Just like she made herself. It seemed mom enjoyed the self pity of being left out.

Velvet begrudgingly scooted out her own chair, and dutifully trudged to the living room where mom was already sat in the couch with the TV on.

Velvet slunk into the room. Mom would want an apology. She always wanted an apology for some perceived misdoing.

"Sorry Mama." Velvet said routinely. It felt like nails on a chalkboard. But she just wanted to keep her mom at bay. That was her job.

"It's fine..." mom said soulfully. Velvet gagged.

She sheepishly sat next to her mom on the couch. She hated this show. It was about a mother and daughter that didn't get along, but always had a heartfelt moment of connection by the end of the episode.

Vile.

Mom liked to project whatever was going on in their fantasy relationship onto herself and Velvet.

One among many other types of projection.

To Velvet's surprise, mom opened an arm to her. Velvet didn't move right away. She stared for a second. Then, against her better judgment, she moved in and leaned against her mom.

This was a bit surprising. It felt...good?

She was hyper aware of having to shrink up to fit next to her. She really had shot up over the past few years. It made her feel...bad.

She was no longer a little girl at her mom's side, she was a woman. She felt her stomach sink.

She had run out of time. She was no longer young. There was no more time to be mom's little girl.

"See how she loves her mom?" Velvet was pulled out of her agonizing thoughts as her mother spoke. Velvet honed in on the TV.

"I love you honey. Always try to remember everything mom does for you, ok?" Velvet's mom spoke venom. Whatever favors mom had done for her, she couldn't think of any.

"I know." Velvet said quietly. "I love you too."

"Good girl. I just want you to be a good girl, that's all." Mom said.

Velvet swallowed an uncomfortable lump in her throat.  She knew that was not all mom wanted.

She watched the TV. She could not emulate the relationship on TV. She would never be able to. Mom would never be happy with her.

Velvet saw movement out of the corner of her eye.

Orchid had snuck away from the game of cards. She peeked in through the doorway. Out of Mom's sight, but within Velvet's.

For the first time since getting out of the car, Velvet looked directly at Orchid. The two shared a glance.

Velvet didn't know what she was doing, but she knew she needed to be doing it.

Orchid didn't know what Velvet was doing, but she knew Velvet didn't need to be doing it.

"Velvet." Mom said. She always used Velvet's full name, never awarding her nicknames the way she did with Veneer.

"Yes?" Velvet answered, looking back at the TV. Orchid was outside of her glance now.

"You know you've always had a problem with needing too much attention. You know that, honey." Mom jabbed.

"I know." Velvet complied.

This was the first time in forever mom was letting her close, showing her the love she so desired. She was ashamed to realize this but...she would agree with whatever mom said as long as she could keep being held.

She felt like she had thrown away all of her self respect. She couldn't help it. She needed mom. She always needed mom.

"I don't- this girl you think you're dating." Mom began. Velvet was numb. She knew whatever mom would say was about to hurt. Haunt her. But she was sunken deep in that familiar fuzziness of mom's affection. It was addicting. She was weak to stop it.

"I know you think you love her, but- oh honey, you've always been- so susceptible to whoever shows you affection." Mom was saying.

Velvet felt something happening deep inside her. Something was breaking. She was under mom's spell, though. She was too numb on a surface level to really feel it.

"I just don't think you're really," mom lowered her voice to a whisper, "gay."

She stroked Velvet's hair. Velvet was at her mercy.

"I just wouldn't go around telling people that. I mean- you're still doing your therapy, aren't you? The mental health problems, and everything you went through with the jail and- oh, I just don't want you living a life that isn't for you."

Mom spoke, harsher words had never been spoken so gently.

"I know you seen Venny all happy with Ritz. I know it must be hard for you since you don't really get along with other people." Mom soothed, hand gently combing through Velvet's hair. Once again Velvet was docile. She was small and silent and complicit.

She was seven years old again, doing exactly what she knew she needed to do for mom to love her.

Orchid watched in silence. She had never seen this side of Velvet. It was turning her stomach. That wasn't her Vellie-bell.

"But your dad and I would have known early on if we thought you were gay. You never showed any signs that we could see. So...You just keep doing all your therapy for me. They'll help you with all this," mom gestured with her free hand, "stuff you're going through."

Velvet looked back at Orchid who was starring at her with a blank expression. Orchid was clearly feeling so many things. Velvet could sense the betrayal.

She was betraying Orchid on some small level; Not bothering to be non-concurrent with her mother. Not sticking up for their relationship.
With that, one could argue she was even betraying herself. She sure felt like she had betrayed herself.

But on another level, Orchid was betraying Velvet as well. After all, Orchid had not intervened. She had not stood up for Velvet. Nobody had.

Not Dad. Not even Veneer.

He never defended Velvet against Mom. He couldn't see it. It drove Velvet mad.

With one final glance to Orchid, Velvet turned her face into Mom's shoulder. Into the beast itself she leaned for comfort.

Mom held her still. She didn't squeeze any tighter. But she didn't stop stroking Velvet's hair. The hug felt empty and soulless.

The night ended shortly after Velver has been subjected to thirty torturous minutes of Cable TV.

Velvet was in a haze as everyone said goodbye and did their hugs. Mom held Velvet tightly by the wrist as everyone passes her on the porch, down the stairs and to the car.

Once it was out of earshot, Mom spoke a few more words to Velvet.

"Thanks for finally coming to see me," Mom said. Yuck. Velvet had not come to see her. "I just want you to be happy, honey. You're going to want a husband one day and I just don't want all this confusion to follow you around. Understand?" Mom said with a sickening look, like she really cared. Like she really knew how Velvet felt better than she herself did.

Velvet hated that. Mom always acted like she knew her better than she knew herself. Velvet was not known by her.

"Yeah. Bye mom." Velvet mustered.

She was completely drained. The core of who she was had been denied to her face. Like she was stupid, and an embarrassment. Why did Veneer get to date whoever he wanted without question?

Why did Velvet need mom's permission?

She didn't know what to think as she floated down the stairs and towards the car where everyone stood, waiting for her to unlock it.

Velvet took the lanyard off of her neck, and handed the keys to Veneer. He was talking to Ritz, only turning to look at his sister as he felt the keys being pressed into his hand.

"Oh- me drive? Ok, Ritz you're in the front seat I guess." Veneer said, unlocking it for everyone.
Velvet could not drive right now. She'd probably drive all of them off a cliff.

She had lost a battle in an ongoing war.

Orchid had been waiting patiently the whole agonizing evening to finally speak with Velvet.

She assumed Velvet would snap back to her usual self the second they were away from her parents.

"Hey," Orchid started, trying to rest a hand on Velvet's shoulder as they stood outside the car.
Velvet could tell Orchid was about to follow up with some variation of 'are you ok' and she just could not deal with a direct question like that right now. She shrugged Orchid off coldly and went all the way around to the other side of the car to get in.

Orchid took a bit of offense to this. Obviously Velvet was feeling horrible. She was really stunned that Veneer had not stood up for his sister, and hadn't even seemed to notice anything off.

After a few minutes of driving, Orchid made another attempt to reach out to Velvet, trying to touch her hand. Velvet shrugged away once more.

Finally, even through all their nonstop chatting, Ritz and Veneer noticed this.

"What's wrong sis?" Veneer looked behind himself at Velvet as they paused at a red light.
Velvet acted as if she didn't even hear.

There was silence for a few seconds.

"Yo, Velvet, you good?" Ritz tried.

"She's obviously upset." Orchid snipped a little. Which sounded totally out of character for her. She never got snippy.

"Why? What happened?" Veneer asked dumbly. Velvet rolled her eyes.

"Why- uh, did nobody else notice Mrs. Greene being a total bitch to Vels the whole night?" Orchid hissed back.

Chapter Text

"Why- ? uh, did nobody else notice Mrs. Greene being a total bitch to Vels the whole night?" Orchid hissed back.

Woah, Velvet hadn't heard her talk like that before. She tensed up.

Orchid was never one to be fueled by anything but kindness and happiness...sometimes hurt, very occasionally. Velvet had never heard her speak in a way that sounded fueled by rage.

Veneer paused for a moment.

"You did not just call my a bitch." Veneer almost scoffed in shock, and whipped around to confront Orchid instantly. It almost appeared he was smiling, but Velvet knew that look. He was shocked, maybe even appalled.

Woah. Velvet forgot how sickeningly protective Veneer could be over mom and dad. Gross. Of all the people he should be that die-hard protective over, it should be her.

Normally it was her. But when mom and dad were in the picture, they trumped everything.

"Veneer, you cannot be serious- did you not hear any of that?" Orchid argued.

Wow. Never in a million years could Velvet picture her brother and her girlfriend ever getting into an argument.

"That doesn't- ok fuck you, girl." Veneer huffed, speeding up to get home quicker. That old "Rageous" persona that Veneer used to put on was quickly coming back to protect him.

Spooky. Veneer seemed to be getting irrational.

"So you did hear-" Orchid was raising her voice. Clearly if Veneer was already being defensive he must have heard. Or at least known something.

"Velvet never gets along with Mama, ok? You haven't been here as long as us, you don't know shit. Don't talk like you do." Veneer barked back.

He was being so mean. Velvet never imagined he would come to this again. Being so mean and cold the way he was when the two were at Mount Rageous. The way Velvet had pushed him to be. He was backed into a corner then and he was backed into a corner now.

The way Velvet had forced him to be.

"Alright, y'all need to stop-" Ritz tried to interject, but was quickly shouted over by Orchid.

"It doesn't matter how long I've been here! I'm not stupid- it's like glaringly obvious your mom picks on Velvet and nobody did a freakin' thing about it! Where were you!" Orchid pleaded as she stood up out of her seat a little, only the seatbelt keeping her confined.

Veneer huffed again.
"Ok- first of all I didn't hardly hear what they were saying, bitch, I was playing cards. Velvet's always instigating shit with Mom and Dad, they just don't get along, alright? It's always been that way." Veneer reasoned in a loud voice.

Ouch. Mom and Dad over Velvet. Wow. Throwing her right under the bus.

Velvet sat silently through all of this. She was too benumbed to react. She didn't care. She was miles away. This wasn't happening. They could fight if they wanted. It didn't change anything.
Mom and Dad were still held in higher regard than she was. She was left in the dust.

"Velvet didn't instigate shit! Your mom was saying evil stuff to her all night, undermining everything about her and even- and tried to tell her she's not gay! Who's side are you on anyway?" Orchid shouted.

Everything erupted into chaos. Veneer was bitching and shouting backwards as he drove, Orchid was stretched as far out of her seat as she could go to yell back, and Ritz's pleas for everyone to calm down were almost inaudible.

Velvet couldn't stand such a vulgar display of raw emotion. It made her skin crawl.

Veneer was being a real cunt. Velvet picked up on that at least. Yeah, She hadn't seen him like this since Rageous. How horrific. How shameful that he had sunk this low.

And Orchid was out of her mind trying to stand up for her girlfriend. Even in her state of dissociation, Velvet could tell she would later be very impressed with Orchid. Pleased that at least one person stood up for her. But she couldn't see it now through the haze she was in.

...Although maybe it was a bad thing. Maybe Velvet had done to Orchid what she had done to Veneer so long ago, and drug her down with her.

That's all Velvet seemed to be able to do, drag people down with her.

Orchid and Velvet were now at the bottom of a pyramid that had mom at the top.

The fighting went on and on until finally the car swerved a bit with all of Veneer's turning around to peer over the seat.

"Stop!" Ritz boomed in his loudest voice, making Veneer jump and shrink down. He faced forward instantly.

Orchid stopped in her tracks, the seatbelt pulled taught as she leaned all the way forward.

Ritz slapped his hands on his thighs.
"Enough! God damn. Shut the fuck up y'all. Swerving and shit with other people in the car." Ritz was huffing. He was obviously upset. Unfortunately for him it came across as anger rather than the uncomfortable feeling he felt.

That was crazy. Velvet had never seen him mad either. Had everyone lost their marbles tonight?

Whatever. They were nearly home. Soon Velvet could escape from all this and find sanctuary in her room. She just had to last the remaining... she looked at the road out the window... seven minutes or so.

Velvet started counting down the mile markers on the side of the road. She was completely frozen.

Veneer suddenly felt he had sunk to an all new low. He had become just as reckless behind the wheel as Velvet had been at Rageous. A standard he had never wanted to meet.

Veneer usually prided himself on making people feel safe around him.

They were fighting about Velvet. In front of her. She felt sick. Veneer wasn't on her side. And she hadn't even started the fight this time!

That was mind-blowing. There was a fight about her and she hadn't even started it.

However... Orchid was on her side. Even after Velvet had incorrectly navigated the uncomfortable situation with her Mom. Even after she felt she had betrayed Orchid on a small level.

She felt Orchid had some sort of understanding of the situation, she hadn't blamed Velvet at all, but her mother. Velvet felt understood. She felt protected.

That was still a painful realization, but it was needed. Someone was finally on her side in this ongoing war. She couldn't believe Orchid had actually seen and recognized it. Everyone else seemed blind to it. How strange.

Still numb, but protected. It was ok for her not to speak or react. Orchid would fight the next battle for her after her loss of the previous one.

Now the only sound in the car was Ritz grumbling angrily under his breath. Velvet's ears were ringing from the shouting.

"We are in an enclosed space guys. Like fuck, Jesus..." Ritz muttered. "My fucking ears are ringing. What the hell happened to talking calmly. Fuck, man." Ritz shifted to lean his head against the window.

Velvet could tell he was upset too. She saw him. To Veneer and Orchid, he was just mad.

And then there was silence. That was almost more uncomfortable for Velvet. 'My ears are ringing too.' Velvet thought, sharing solidarity with Ritz for once.

Oh no, she felt herself starting to come back to reality a little. She could feel a sliver of emotion peeking though.

She couldn't feel sad now.

She was... incredibly disturbed by it all. She peered out the window. They were on her street. There was the apartment complex, just up the road.

She wanted nothing more than to get out of this hell-hole car ride. It had been so loud. So filled with everyone's god honest emotions. Foul as fuck.

The people she cared about had turned on one another. Because of her. Her worst nightmare.

Then she heard a noise break the silence.

Orchid drew in a long, quivery sniffle. 'God no. Please no.' Velvet thought.

Orchid had tried to stifle it with a hand over her nose and mouth.

Why was Velvet so disgusted by everyone's emotions? Especially Orchid. Her girlfriend, her protector tonight. How could she possibly feel so put off? What was wrong with her?

Veneer looked up in the rear view mirror in an instant.

Orchid had plopped back in her seat and crossed her arms, furrowing her brow as tears had started to form.

She pulled the collar of the borrowed blouse over her mouth as she had done before with her hoodie when trying to hide her emotion.

How could Veneer be against Velvet? Orchid had trusted him. She had trusted him to be on Velvet's side no matter what.  Orchid had trusted they were all on the same side.

"Oh gosh- hun, I'm so sorry," Veneer rushed to say to Orchid, seemingly coming back to his senses. Orchid was not one to cry. Nor was she even comfortable with the idea, especially in front of other people.

"No- it's fine- it's whatever." Orchid tried to lower her voice so it wouldn't sound like she was crying. Yes she had fought with Veneer, but she didn't want to. And she didn't want how she felt about the fight to be so blatantly obvious.

'Get me the hell out of here.' Velvet thought to herself as they finally entered the complex. She was revolted by how quickly the situation looked to be turning around. They went from screaming to apologetic in an instant. Like it all meant nothing.

How were other people able to shift their emotions around so easily? That wasn't fair. She was still numb. Well, Numbish.

"No hunny- oh my gosh- hold on," Veneer said and swung the vehicle around to their apartment building and parked as quickly as he could.

Velvet snatched up a random hoodie that had been left on the floor of the car. It was covered in bits of leaves a dust. Things people had tracked in the car on their feet. She leapt out and spared no time in whisking up to their house, quickly running to her room. She was done with this shit for the night. She couldn't cope with the emotions of others when she couldn't even feel her own.

"Dude, it's fine," Orchid tried to plea to Veneer, but he was out of his seat and outside the car in an instant. Orchid opened her door, begrudgingly, untangling herself from the seatbelt.

"No, I got way too upset- I'm so sorry sweetie," Veneer was back to his gentle-natured self, taking Orchid's hands and crouching just a little to meet her gaze, trying to show sincerity on his own face.

Ritz stepped out of the car, not really sure where he belonged. He settled on standing a few feet behind Veneer and tucked his hands into his hoodie pocket. He felt guilty as well, but didn't know if it was his turn yet to apologize.

"It's seriously fine. My fault. Shouldn't have spoke bad about your mom." Orchid said, clearly trying to look away and play it cool. "I was wrong." She said, unable to disguise the fact that her nose was completely clogged with the tears,
her head and her voice only gave it away.

"Can I give you a hug?" Veneer asked urgently, his heart pounding hard in his chest with instant regret at how he had acted. That was not who he wanted to be anymore. He had to make it right.

"It's cool man. For real." Orchid took a step back. If she let Veneer hug her it was certainly game over. Tears would be all over the place.

"Please. I'm genuinely so sorry. I don't know what came over me." Veneer said, outstretching his arms.
Orchid nodded, knowing the next words out of her mouth were bound to sound pathetic and watery.

Veneer pulled her in close for a hug. "I'm so sorry- I got so carried away. You were just looking out for Vel. I'm sorry," he said again, feeling Orchid squeeze him back.

Veneer was her good friend. Even outside of being her girlfriends' brother, the two had their own friendship. She hoped they hadn't both ruined it just now.

Veneer wasn't releasing her from the hug, instead patting her back.

"I'm so sorry I yelled at you," he said. He sounded so guilty. Orchid sucked in a breath to keep her aching throat at bay.

"Yeah I'm." She swallowed. "Sorry I yelled back." She tried not to choke out.

Ritz broke his silence.
"Yeah. I think we all just got too heated being trapped in a small space." Ritz interjected. His own attempt at an apology, in his own way.

Orchid finally pulled back, wiping her eyes on the sleeve of the borrowed blouse.

"Let's go in and calm down." Veneer sighed, pinching his brow, and Orchid nodded. "I'm so embarrassed. Are you ok?" Veneer asked painfully.

"Yeah." Orchid agreed. Still trying to keep up her facade.

Ritz placed an arm around Veneer's waist, starting to lead him inside.

"We all just need a hot drink and some quiet. I'll plug in the electric kettle and let it start heating," Veneer said as they entered the house. A whoosh of cool air hit the three of them all at once.

It had been a hot summer night out, muggy and uncomfortable. Veneer was sure the temperature outside wasn't helping much with anyone’s temper.

Now that they had gotten home, everyone breathed a sigh of relief.
Orchid trudged over to the couch and sunk down, laying on her stomach and burying her face into the throw blanket. Ritz followed Veneer into the kitchen, sheepishly retrieving the box of tea bags from the cabinet for Veneer.

"Thanks baby." Veneer whispered.

"Yup." Ritz complied. He had forgotten his place. He had gotten angry and expressed it in a bad way.

"Did I scare you?" Ritz whispered back. He recalled how Veneer had shrunk down in the car when he finally gave in to the situation and shouted. It was the way he shrunk down when he was having some kind of anxiety thing.

Ritz knew that all stemmed from Velvet. He felt horrible that it had come from him this time. He never wanted that.

"A little." Veneer admitted. "But it was kind of sexy. I didn't know you could get all angry and tough like that," Veneer teased in a hushed tone, trying to make light of the situation. He really did love and feel safe around Ritz, a bit of shouting wouldn't keep him down. He knew Ritz and trusted him.

Ritz scoffed and had to stiefel a loud burst of laughter with a hand over his mouth. "You sure bounce back quick," he teased.

Veneer kissed Ritz on the nose. "Yeah, I'm used to it," he said. "You finish these for me. Get her some tea." Veneer gestured to Orchid on the couch where she lay face down, defeated and disappointed with how the night had ended.

"I should go talk to Velvet. Before Orchid tries to. I don't want her to get Vel's wrath." Veneer sighed. He was half joking.

He definitely expected an explosive reaction from Velvet. But he didn't want it to end up directed at Orchid.

He felt maybe he deserved for it to be directed at himself. Maybe.

And maybe, Orchid had been right on calling him out for not standing up for his sister. Veneer loved his Mama, but she could be very unforgiving towards his sister.

Veneer didn't know why that was. He always assumed it was because of her attitude, maybe her brashness, but until now he had not questioned it. Maybe it was time to question it.

Veneer trusted Orchid. He trusted her judgement and opinion. And if she were to accuse his mom of being unfair, unjust even... well then, he trusted her enough to believe there could be a bit of truth behind the accusation.

He would have to tell her so later on. When he had calmed down a bit.

For the time being, ge was picturing Velvet crying in her bathroom again. Eugh. He didn't know if he could do a very good job of handling another one of those episodes at the moment.

He walked briskly to her room. He rapped on the door gently, leaning an ear against it. He fully expected to hear her crying.

There was silence. "Velvet?" Veneer called to no avail. He sighed. He had unintentionally put up a wall between them tonight, and would now be responsible for breaking it down.

"Sis, I'm very sorry at how I handled things in the car." He said, leaning against the door a little. It clicked against the frame, clearly locked.

Velvet had essentially teleported from the car to her room. She threw off her stupid 'tasteful' shirt and yanked on the hoodie. Once it was on she saw it was hers, Veneer had a matching one but his had thumb holes poked in through the sleeves.

Velvet was almost comatose. She felt like she had been floating. A chair from her vanity had been drug up and placed in front of the door so no one could come in even if they wanted to.

Everyone needed to leave her alone. Everyone had been stupid, embarrassing idiots in the car and Velvet couldn't stand it. It was sickening to her.

She had been hurt the most. Had that not been obvious? And she was better than them for keeping it in. She realized she was pacing in her room.

She shoved her hands in her hoodie pocket. They were met with something. A small cardboard box.

Infuriated that the small thing had blocked her hands, she ripped it out of her pocket.

A box of cigarettes.

That sounded good right now. A nice menthol cigarette and some alone time.

No way in hell was she leaving her room to smoke on the porch. Everyone would try to interact with her. She couldn't do that right now.

None of them deserved to interact with her. Especially not Veneer.

How could he have been so cruel, disregarding her. Betraying her and her feelings in favor of Mom and Dad. And he had died on that hill.

Orchid may have been fighting in Velvet’s place but it may as well have been Velvet. It was her battle after all.

And just as soon as he had turned on Velvet and Orchid, he had snapped out of it and come to his senses and even apologized.

That wasn’t fair. Velvet couldn’t just snap out of it. She never got the privilege of snapping out of it. She was stuck in her anger. She needed to be alone for what felt like hours before she could control how she acted again.

And Veneer was able to do it just like that.

She was mad, and maybe jealous. Maybe. She didn’t know. The emotions were too much for her body to hold.

Everyone had displayed such obscene emotion and she didn't want to deal with anyone’s emotions but her own. If she could even deal with those.

Still floating, she found herself forcing the window in her room open. It had never been opened before. The bugs crooned loudly.

She found there was no lighter in the stale box of cigarettes. It only held four. She growled in displeasure. There had to be a lighter in here somewhere. Surely in a pocket or a purse on the floor.

Velvet kicked clothes around for a second before realizing Orchid's overnight bag was still in her room.

Orchid always carried a lighter for Velvet.

But it was Orchid's bag…Velvet hadn't really felt like they were at a place in their relationship yet where she could just go riffling through her bag.

Would she like it if Orchid dug through her things? No…she knew that wasn’t even a possibility. Orchid was respectful of her things and her space.

Before Velvet knew it she was dumping her girlfriend's bag out on the floor without care. Out came her rolled up pajamas and underwear, her stuffed bear and a few crumpled dollar bills and pencils.

And then a lighter at the very bottom.

That's all Velvet wanted. It was the only thing on her mind. She sat on the side of her bed and lit up a cigarette, puffing in and out to get it lit.

It was in fact quite stale.

Velvet didn't care. She paid no mind to the staleness. She crushed the ball in the filter and to her delight it popped, filling her mouth with that sweet menthol.

She paid no mind to the knocking at the door either.

She assumed it would be Orchid.

Then there was Veneer's voice. Ugh, that was the very last person she wanted to talk to.

Her betrayer.

And she meant the very last. He had completely abandoned her.

She took a very satisfying drag off the cigarette as she ignored his voice.

"Are you ok in there?" Veneer called.

Velvet took immense satisfaction in not answering. Maybe then he would finally worry about her instead of their parents.

There was quiet for a while as she assumed he had stepped away. 'Good. Give up on me.' Velvet thought. That's all anybody ever did.

She felt something again. She was starting to come out of her coma. She felt sadness. And anger. Betrayal.

She had felt this before.

It was a burning painful feeling that bubbled up inside her and scorned her from the inside out.

How could he? Veneer was supposed to protect her the way she had protected him his entire life.

Did all that mean nothing?

How did she deal with this feeling before when she felt it?

She glanced around the room, tapping her foot anxiously. There was a bottle of vodka on her nightstand but it had long since been drained empty.

She didn't want to sink down to tearing up the room looking for some hypothetical pills she may or may not have laying around from earlier in the year. She… she did feel she was better than that at this point.

She had tried to move past that. It wasn't good to her. Or her liver, she remembered.

She just wanted to feel numb. She craved anything but this hurt. She craved the numbness she had felt in the car, as bad as that had been.
What would make her feel numb?

She looked around the room again. Oh, wait. Duh. She peered at the lit cigarette in her hand.

Chapter Text

Nothing was helping.

What she had been doing to herself, hurting herself, it wasn't helping.

It had helped all those times before.

Even if just for a moment. It had always worked. It had always made her feel at least microscopically better…In some backwards sort of way, at least.

Velvet was full up on emotions she couldn't handle. She couldn't even begin to process.

Usually that fierce pain against her thigh would snap her out of it, but it wasn't working tonight.

Why wasn't it working?

She didn't know how long she had been in her room alone. Maybe half an hour? She put the last of the stale cigarettes out on herself. She dug it into her skin harshly.

It hurt. It actually hurt in a bad way. It wasn't a satisfying, almost soothing sort of pain.

Usually it made her feel like she was getting what she deserved. She could be punished appropriately for however she had acted thus bringing a bit of justice to the situation and she'd be able to move on.

She would be able to move on.

It was not the satisfying pain she had longed for, but a sheering aching pain that stayed. It wasn't good this time. Her leg looked rough. It left a red and white wound, speckled with ashes as she had shoved it into herself.

Her stomach dropped.  This wasn't how it was supposed to feel. This wasn’t how it was supposed to go.
Her leg was torn up all over again and her emotions were still at a high. Should she scream into a pillow? No, everyone was still at the house, they would hear and come running like a herd of buffoons.

What a baby she was being. An emotional wreck over a few mean jabs her mother had made at her. She took a quick glance in her cracked vanity and saw how stupid she looked.

She knew it wasn't just her mom that was bothering her. She was mad at Veneer too. She had very good reasoning to look so silly right now; she tried to convince herself. Mad at Mom and Veneer.

Oh, and the thing she had talked about in therapy previously.

That felt very unfinished. She had opened up a gaping wound with complete word vomit all over Veneer and then they had just... left therapy as it ended. No resolution. No ending to that conversation. It hadn't even come up again.

Did Veneer...not care? Did it not seem so monumental to him? Was he maybe not even bothered by it?

Velvet balled her hands against the sheets of her bed.

She was realizing she might be a bit...scared. She touched the pads of her fingers to her wound. It felt sticky. And it sure hurt like hell to touch.

She looked at her fingertips. There wasn't truly blood, just enough to be tacky. What bothered her was the slight tint of bloody coloring on her fingertips now. Or maybe it was pus, she wasn't sure. Either way, entirely gross and disturbing.

This was morbid. This wasn't some secret thing she kept to herself, something that made her feel like she had a secret good enough to keep.

This definitely wasn't like before.

It wasn't helpful. She didn't feel like she had punished herself in a satisfying way. She felt she had done something bad. Really bad.

She stood up but found it didn't alleviate the pain at all. She sat back down on the side of her bed.

What was she supposed to do? It had worked before. She had always felt better before.

But she hadn't done this in many weeks. Many many weeks. Maybe something had changed. She looked at her leg. Uh oh, that wasn't the same feeling as before.

It had been relief before. Now she felt her heart thudding in her chest. She felt unnerved.

She felt almost afraid.

Had she done too much? She didn't know. She had never done too much before. This looked bad. And she still didn't feel any better! She didn't feel the least bit calmer or more at ease, not even the numbness she craved.

Crap. Velvet stood once more despite the pain. What else could she do to get rid of these feelings? She didn't want to tear up her poor room again. She was trying to be better. She was trying.

Why had nobody told her what to do in this situation? Wasn’t that what her therapist was for?
Stupid woman.

Velvet stopped that train of thought. It wasn’t her therapist’s fault. How could the woman te her what to do in this situation if she had never actually told her about this situation?

Velvet felt her eyes sting. She would not cry.

There was no way for the woman to offer help if she hadn’t actually asked for help.

She had really stuck herself between a rock and a hard place here. Fuck, this was Velvet’s own fault.

Something had to give. She had to do something.

Her throat hurt. She was out of touch with her body but she knew it hurt. Her eyes hurt. She wanted to cry but what would that help? Crying never helped her before.

She thought back to past situations, what else had helped her before? If she didn’t have any coping skills from therapy she would have to figure this out herself.

She didn't want to leave her room and hurt anybody. She didn't want to start a fight. She hurt. She hurt so much. But it wasn’t right to hurt somebody else.

She thought and thought, pacing again. Finally her mind brought her to the most recent episode she’d had:

Floyd. He had made her wright. At this point she was willing to try anything to stop the feeling.

She was at her vanity before she knew it, digging around for her notebook.
She wrote.

'Veneer is a stupid selfish baby'

Maybe that wasn't true, but it was emotionally true. She wrote and wrote and scribbled and flipped pages and cursed everyone that had hurt her until she was empty.

Empty! She was empty. She couldn't ever imagine in her wildest dreams that writing would actually work! It had seemed like a miracle when it had worked with Floyd, but Velvet had assumed she just ran out of adrenaline in that situation.

But here it was, an entirely different situation and the same tactic was working once again
…Fancy that.

Velvet had written how hurt she was by Mom. How mad she was at Veneer. How exposed and vulnerable she felt after their therapy session. How unfinished it all felt.

She wrote it all out. Her handwriting was unsatisfactory to say the least, she didn't even bother writing the date, but it was out. Once again, she was empty.

And now there was room for different emotions. Along with newfound relief, Velvet also found that how her body felt was making her afraid. Her legs didn't feel so good.

She dared to look down. They seemed to sting even more when she looked. Christ, what had she done? Why couldn't she have just asked anyone for help with a little self control?

"What's wrong with me..." Velvet huffed.

Of course she didn't know how to calm herself down. Who was born naturally knowing how to do that? That was a skill that had to be learned. Nobody had taught her. It wasn't her fault.

But she could have asked. She could have said something sooner. She could have asked for help sooner.

Maybe it was her therapist's fault. Ms.Bottoms, or Bell, whichever seemed less inappropriate, had never told Velvet she needed to breathe in and out or count to ten when she got like this. Surely it was her fault.

But then again... Velvet had never directly told her she got like this. Hell, she hardly even got over the hurtle of admitting it to herself.

Veneer was the one with anxiety, not her.

Veneer would cry and curl up and huff in and out. That was anxiety. This was not anxiety.

What Velvet experienced when she got all panic-stricken and frantic? No.

Velvet would get angry and shout and hurt things and people. She couldn't possibly count as having anxiety. She was bad. Her symptoms were bad. She was just being a bad person.

Right?

Velvet looked at her hands. She faced them palm up and spread her fingers. They appeared to buzz with energy.

If she were to describe how she was feeling in this particular moment, she would have to go with anxious.

She closed her hands into fists.

So maybe she did have a bit of anxiety herself. It just made her act different.

Maybe if she had just inquired about it in the slightest during therapy she would have been given some coping skills. She peered back at her legs. Some better coping skills.

Nobody told Velvet that it could be as simple as writing it out! How was she supposed to know?

Veneer had taken several trips to Velvet's door to knock. She hadn't answered. That made him nervous. It was quiet. No crying, no yelling or sounds of things getting broken.

"Sis?" He called one final time, rapping his knuckles against the door. "Your tea’s getting cold, seriously you're making me nervous." Veneer said.

There was an obvious smell now. "Are you smoking inside?" Veneer realized. Orchid sat up off the couch.

"What?" Orchid asked, a frantic tone.

"I smell cigarettes." Veneer answered Orchid.

"She's got a cigarette in there?" Orchid was standing up.

Veneer huffed, knocking on the door again.

"Velvet we can't smoke inside the building we'll lose our deposit." He said a bit more sternly.

No answer.

Orchid was next to him now.

"Can I try?" Orchid asked, appearing beside Veneer.

Veneer stepped back, allowing Orchid access to the door.

"Baby?" Orchid knocked on the door. "Velvet," she knocked harder. "It’s me. Let me in," Orchid said seriously.

Velvet didn't answer. She was writing. She wasn't even smoking anymore, why did it matter? Velvet thought.

Orchid had probably figured what Velvet was doing, she realized.

"Is there a key?" Orchid asked Veneer.

"Uh, no. Not really. I mean there's a way to get the door open but like- I don't want to unlock her door while she's in there she'll freak." Veneer bit his nail.

"Blame me then I don't care, just - let's get the door open." Orchid pleaded.

"Uh- I dunno, I want her to open it herself," Veneer backed up a little.

"Dude how do we open the door," Orchid said in her serious tone.

Veneer huffed anxiously. He didn’t like the sound of Orchid’s serious voice.

“Well…” Veneer shifted uncomfortably.

“Dude. I’m being so deadass. Please. How do we open the door.” Orchid said, almost pleading.

“Ah… ok. Maybe she won’t be as mad if it’s you.” Veneer mumbled, taking a bobby-pin from his hair. “The locks in this house can be opened with a pin. Let me do it.” Veneer ordered.

Velvet was still inside. She was being quiet. She could hear the conversation outside her door clear as day.

Things were going to go one of two ways:

Either she opened the door or they would. Either way the door would open.

If they opened it, she could imagine them running in and chaos breaking out as they saw what she had done to herself. She wasn’t exactly fully clothed.

Or… she could open the door herself. That would at least give her some control over the situation.

Velvet closed her journal. It was time for help.
She breathed out a deep breath. She was no longer able to help herself. That had ended. It was time to ask for help.

Tears welled in her eyes as she came to this conclusion. There was shame. There was desperation. She stood from her desk and went to the bed, wrapping a sheet around herself. She had to tug it off the bed from where it was tucked.

Now or never. It had to be now. She could hear her girlfriend and her brother messing with the lock.

Velvet went to the door and unlocked it.

She opened the door, peering down at the guilty looking pair picking the lock. She felt herself choking.

“I need help.”

Chapter Text

Velvet couldn’t believe how bad that night had been, looking back on it. So eventful. So much happening in such a short span of time.

First, there had been panic. Talk of calling parents, ideas of going to the hospital, pacing back and forth and worried voices.

Velvet didn't like those suggestions. She wrapped her sheet around herself. It was cotton but it felt more like thin canvas against where her leg hurt. She numbly sat, complicit in the situation with wet eyes.
Orchid and Veneer would figure what to do.

Velvet hadn’t appreciated how Orchid had so blatantly asked to see where she hurt herself. Of course Orchid immediately strung it together.

Then, obviously, Veneer jumped into action and (very rudely, in Velvet’s opinion,) tore the sheet back to see how she had hurt herself. That sheet had been shielding her, protecting her.

She was irritated by them just tossing it back. But she guessed she that was ok. It was just Veneer. And Orchid.

Then there were tears from Veneer, frantic Google searches. He almost wished she had picked another way to harm herself, at least then he might know what to do

"She's going to have to get skin graphs!"
Veneer balled. He fidgeted with his earring. He was becoming irrational. He held Velvet way too tightly. Assuring her everything would be ok. He would make sure of it. The hug was way too tight.

"No, she's not. You’re scaring her- Stop using webMD." Orchid assured. She had decided she needed to
Step up and be level headed. She could save the emotions for later. She took Veneer's phone away for a moment.

"What if they send her to that psych ward!" Veneer laid his cheek on Velvet's head.
Velvet sat numbly. She didn’t like that idea. She hated it there.

"What? No, what?" Orchid shook her head at Veneer's suggestion. "They wouldn't do that, she just scuffed herself up a bit, right?" Orchid looked up from her own phone for a second to glance at Ritz in the doorway. He shrugged, stressed as well. He needed to be with Veneer, but he felt a barrier between him sand the situation. Velvet sat numbly.

Orchid was holding Veneer's phone under her arm and her own in her hand, typing furiously. She was tremoring.
"We just won't take her to the hospital at all then- There's an urgent care open up the road but it closes at eleven. It has to be now,"

Orchid wasn't exactly happy to see her bag dumped out on the floor of Velvet's room. It was obvious Velvet had been looking for a lighter. Orchid knew that. No one else knew that but her.

There was a layer of guilt to the idea that she carried a lighter for Velvet, and Velvet alone knew it was in there. Maybe she wouldn't have been able to hurt herself at all if Orchid hadn't put it in there.

She picked the lighter up off the floor. Black and white checkered pattern. She used to think it looked cool. It matched the bottom of her skateboard. She stuffed it in her pocket.

Ritz waited uncomfortably right outside the door. He could hear Veneer crying and making a fuss. He wanted to hug and console Veneer who was just beside himself, but he knew it wasn't what Velvet needed. At the moment, she definitely wouldn't be pleased with him in her space. And she was already in a bad state, Ritz didn't want to make it any worse if at all possible.

“Let’s go now then,” Ritz heard Orchid decide. Go? Go where? Ritz replayed the back half of the conversation in his head. Ah. They were taking Velvet to urgent care. He stepped right up to bat. He knew how he could help.

He entered Velvet’s room at last, acting without thinking and grabbing a duffle bag from the ground (Velvet’s dance bag, but he didn’t know that) and tossed some of her belongings in it. A phone charger, a jacket from the floor, some socks and a few other things that blurred in his mind.

Then there was the ER visit. Velvet cried without even feeling anything, and Veneer did his best to toughen up for her. She didn't know why she was crying all of the sudden when she had just been so numb. She had been going in and out of numbness all evening.

Veneer was the only one allowed in the hospital room with Velvet, as policies had changed after Covid. He held her shoulders and sat in the dry silence with her. Numb again.

Velvet cradled honeybear who had accompanied her, courtesy of Orchid.

Her hospital bed wasn't really a proper bed at all, it was more of a big stretcher and it was sat halfway up. The railing was up on one side. Veneer was at her other side letting her lean her head against him. He felt the both of them shaking.

She had surprised herself when, in the waiting area, she had been asked who she wanted to come back with her she instinctively said Veneer.
Of course it would be him. Her twin, her other half. No one looked surprised. Veneer would make sure nothing happened to her.

There were patches on her thighs. It felt like Saran Wrap. Almost plasticy. There were no skin grafts to be had. No stitches, not even an IV. Nothing Velvet feared. What a relief.

Ritz and Orchid waited in the lobby, slumped across a few chairs in exhaustion. Ritz wasn't exactly sure how he should be feeling, he was mostly concerned for how Veneer would hold up. And Velvet too, he guessed.

Orchid was feeling a bit frustrated and maybe a little snippy, though it would never show in her tone. She just wanted Velvet to be able to go back home quickly. Ritz and Orchid had re-situated the way they were sitting several times, trying to sleep or at least get comfortable. Then when that became too uncomfortable and restless they played among us on their phones with what little battery they had left.

Velvet was discharged, and everyone finally made it back home around two in the morning.
Velvet was very grateful the hospital staff hadn't tried to place her on the dreaded seventh-two hour hold she feared.

Of course they wouldn't have. What was this, a movie? It has just been self harm. This was just a desperate call for attention. This wasn't suicide or anything. This wasn't someone who was really, truly sick. Velvet felt the sinking feeling she had taken up the attention from the doctors from someone who really needed it. Someone who was actually sick.

Velvet has seen another girl on a stretcher being whisked though the halls. She'd had a seizure. Velvet hadn't had a seizure. Velvet hadn't had anything happen to her like that.

She had wasted everyone's time.

Getting back to the apartment was such a haze for Velvet. She had only been given a single pill at the Urgent Care. Something to calm her down? She was so sleepy.

“Let’s get inside.” Veneer was saying to Velvet. She realized he was at her door. She nodded groggily and lifted an arm, allowing him to help her out of the car and inside.

Velvet could feel Orchid was in a mood. She glanced back to look at her. Orchid looked a little grumpy, but also sad. Velvet had caused this.

She turned around, making Veneer stop walking too.
“Ok can we jus’ collectively agree to forget tonight? All of it. This was so shit.” Velvet put both her hands up, almost cartoonishly. Her movements felt exaggerated with whatever drug she had been given. Veneer allowed her to stand on her own, yet kept a hand behind her back just in case.

Ritz laughed, finally some relief. “For sure. Tonight was insane,” Ritz held out a fist for Velvet to tap hers too. Velvet scoffed and bumped his fist, looking to Veneer to insure he did the same. “Fine, but we’re still going to talk about this. You n’ me later.” Veneer said to Velvet.

Orchid was adding her fist to the pile but she still didn’t seem like her heart was in it. She gave a nod.

Velvet stumbled up the stairs with Veneer’s help, what else was new. She tried to go back to her room, desperately wanting her own bed.

“Sorry, no.” Orchid marched over to Velvet’s doorway and put a hand out to catch her girlfriend.

Velvet looked at her in confusion.

Orchid nodded to the living room.

Veneer was pushing the ottoman up against the big couch, turning it into a bed. Right. They would want her in sight of everyone now after what she had done to herself.

Velvet sighed. She really liked her space alone.

“Not a chance in hell I’m taking my eyes off you after that.” Orchid said in a quiet voice, heading to the couch. Velvet took notice of how Orchid didn’t lead her or walk with an arm around her the way she usually did.

Velvet was too out of it to do anything about it, or even properly feel bad.

Velvet slept between orchid and Veneer who both invaded her space to an annoying level. Ritz had instantly fallen asleep on the chair he used for gaming, shoes on and all.

Velvet was quick to sleep. Veneer stayed up. Orchid stayed up. Both watching Velvet.

Chapter Text

"Oh my gosh, how about this one!" Poppy hopped across the table with a sheet of nail wraps. The sticker sheet had stickers in the shape of Rageon sized finger nails. Patterns of stars and stripy waves with pinks and oranges.

"Ohhh yesss those are so perfect!" Veneer actively had his Pinterest board open and was referencing it for his nails.

He was choosing his birthday nails.

In the Rageon sized salon sat Velvet, Veneer, and Orchid of course, and with them were Floyd, Poppy, and Viva.

Veneer sat across from a nail tech, a pink rageon with short hair. Orchid sat next to him, and Velvet sat a table away, waiting on her turn for nails.

Poppy was elated to be invited to hang out with Floyd's enemies-turned-friends. After all, Poppy's own best friend Bridget had once been an enemy of sorts. Poppy loved Bridget, and saw herself reflected in Floyd's situation.

To Poppy, Veneer sounded lovely from the way Floyd spoke about him. And Velvet sounded...well, she sounded like she could use some friendship in Poppy's opinion. And who better to befriend someone who needed it than Poppy herself? And of course her sister Viva, who Poppy loved to drag along with her.

Albeit Viva was still noticeably cautious around rageons.

Velvet hadn't picked what she wanted for her nails yet. She sat with her arms crossed, making sure to appear extra grumpy. Veneer gabbed and giggled with Orchid who was a little shy with poppy and Viva, but happily conversed with Floyd.

Velvet felt she mentally had to take a step back and just look at the scene in front of her. Three trolls. Three! And they were trying to not only be her friends, but integrate into her friend group.

Well... she supposed Floyd was already her friend of sorts. In an odd sort of way. But more trolls? Did they even remember what she had done? Velvet fidgeted and took a toothpick out of a small jar that was on the table. She chewed on the end of it.

She hoped they didn’t remember. A magic spell of amnesia. Somehow it was more sickening if they did remember and had so easily forgiven her.
And here they were, gathered to plan Veneer’s twenty first Birthday party. From Velvet’s perspective, it was happening right in front of her all the while excluding her.

It had been many, many years since Velvet and Veneer had actually shared a birthday party. Velvet had a lot of regret for that. It was her fault, after all. She had been the one, as a kid, to proclaim that she wanted her "own" birthday party.

She and Veneer must have been no older than nine or ten. Every year, Veneer would celebrate "his" birthday on the actual date. And following that, Velvet would celebrate "her" birthday the next available weekend.

Velvet chewed the wooden toothpick, feeling it splinter a little against her tongue as she mashed it down with her teeth. It was made of a soft wood, maybe pine, so it didn't hurt. She moved side to side in her swivel chair.

She felt immense regret. She looked at Veneer, who was to her right. He sat in a more comfortable looking chair across from the nail tech, who was evidently one of Orchid's friends.

Veneer had aged. And so had she. Where had all the time gone? They had just been teenagers. And now they were talking about getting their real ID's so she wouldn't have to use her fake anymore. There would be no element of mischief or sneaking around. Where was the fun in that?

Veneer looked so different than she pictured him in her mind. He was grown. His hair had grown out too! She felt sickly bittersweet.
Veneer was forever six. Forever ten. Forever thirteen in her mind. And so was she! How dare the time pass without her explicit permission.
All this time wasted.

Of course, she was grateful to have him back in her life after being incarcerated and having a very strained relationship for a while. Even still, she could just kick herself for even letting that strained relationship happen in the first place.

Why did she have to be such a brat? Why couldn't she have just shared the birthday? Now it almost felt awkward to propose they share a celebration again.

Velvet hadn't celebrated her birthday in a few years now. At first she was doing it out of spite; maybe trying to get her family or nonexistent friends to feel sorry for her, she was punishing herself. But the second year she just couldn't bring herself to celebrate. She didn't deserve it.

But now was different. She was trying to be deserving of such things. She was trying to share with Veneer and enjoy life with him.

Velvet watched and was compliant as Poppy (annoyingly) hopped over onto her lap. She held a sheet of nail stickers that was as tall as herself.
"Ok soooo I'm thinking if Veneer does pink-orange-fuchsia, you could do orange- fuchsia-pink," Poppy said thoughtfully.

"Ah." Velvet humored her, though she was unamused. "I don't do stickers. That's more Veneer's thing. I get a full set of acrylics with gel polish. Usually cat's eye." Velvet retorted, trying to come off as not very amusing to Poppy. Maybe she'd leave her alone.

"Ooh cat's eyes! Very mature," Poppy said coolly, nodding as if she understood. Velvet felt patronized. Was it that obvious she was trying to come across as mature and grown to offset how small and lost she felt?

"Viva! We need the color display with the gel. Cat's eyes!" Poppy called to her sister, who was only a foot or two away on the table. But Velvet guessed it must seem further for Trolls. They were so itty bitty.

"On it!" Viva saluted, using her hair to swing off somewhere Velvet didn't care to pay attention to. "Cat's eye." Velvet corrected. She hoped Poppy would get off her lap.

Poppy sat down instead. Great, now Velvet had a troll sitting on her lap. She let the smallest amount of air out possible when she inevitably grumbled.
Orchid and Veneer seemed to be distracted with one another, having a conversation that didn't include Velvet.
She grumbled again. Her goal was always to be the one having the conversation with Veneer. Or Orchid. Not them having it without her.

Not to point out the other glaring issue Velvet had been overthinking for a month now.
Orchid had become distant.

It was a microscopic change to most people. But to Velvet it was everything.
Even when Orchid seemed happy and content, she was slightly further away. There wasn’t as much hand holding. Not as many messages. And not a single request to spend the night.

Velvet had to initiate nearly everything.

Velvet knew Orchid wouldn’t break up with her. But she also knew it was a possibility Orchid could become bored of the constant tension. Of Velvets contestant issues that didn’t seem to be getting any better.

Well, she supposed she had “gotten better” for a while. But that was before Velvet had embarrassingly spilled all her guts to Veneer in therapy. That was before Mom’s house. That was before the night at the ER.

Maybe individually they wouldn’t have set her off, but together they were tectonic plates rubbing against one another. Rumbles below the earth waiting to cause an earthquake.

It just seemed like Veneer and Orchid didn’t know what to say to her. She had burnt both of them out with her antics. Always having to comfort her when she cries, always needing to take her lashings.

Velvet had to keep this all under wraps. She needed Orchid back in her side. She needed to be Veneer’s number one. Most importantly Veneer. He had been there first, and no matter how she loved Orchid, If Velvet lost Veneer she would cease to exist.
She thrummed her fingers against the arm of the swivel chair. Once it was her turn to get her nails done, she would be able to sit in the nicer chair instead. Then maybe she could be sitting next to Veneer. Right next to him, no Trolls and no Orchid. Velvet would be between the two of them. They would pay attention to her.

She would find a way to play nice. She would find a way to keep her anger at bay, to keep her stupid tears at bay.

She knew that wasn't nice. She didn't care. She was tired of having to be nice in her own head. She was tired of having to correct her own thoughts.

If she wasn't nice, everyone would make a problem out of it. And that was so annoying. She couldn't push and bully her way to be close with Veneer now. She couldn't isolate him. She had to play nice.

She looked down at the now two trolls sitting on her lap. This is never what she wanted. She'd had to adjust to Ritz being around, then Floyd, then even Orchid. Of course she loved Orchid, but it was so stress inducing. The thought that her girlfriend and her brother had a friendship of their own. Orchid would forget about her. Veneer would too. It was all getting to be too much.

Velvet just wanted Veneer. There was a sense of urgency. She had wasted too many years. Too many birthdays. They were losing their childhood. Velvets heart felt icky as she realized they had already lost it.

Velvet needed to be Veneer's number one. She needed to be Orchid's too, but most importantly Veneer. She didn't want all these people that had accumulated to be in the way. She folded her finger down and bit her knuckle.

She knew why there were so many people around.

Everyone was afraid she was going to hurt herself. It made her so irritated.

With every suggestion Velvet received from
her therapist that she needed to broaden her support system, the more urgently she felt she needed it to be just Veneer. She knew they were a safety net, but she was losing Veneer to all these people around the both of them.

The veil she was looking at her brother through was becoming thicker.

Her skin felt itchy. Why hadn't she thought about this before? The years were passing and Veneer was getting further away. All the fault of the many people now between them. They were about to be twenty one. Velvet had to stop this before it was too late.

If Velvet wanted to be close with Veneer, she was going to have to tolerate all the people that flocked around him.

"Hey Ven." Velvet said. She felt her eye twitch as he didn't answer. He couldn't hear her over his own chat with Orchid.

"Veneer." Velvet said a bit louder. Poppy and Viva looked up at her, she could see their heads dart quickly like birds.

"Yeah one sec-" Veneer said to Orchid, pausing the conversation he was having with her. He looked over to Velvet, having to lean back in the seat and past Orchid. Orchid looked at Velvet a bit blankly. Where was the adoration Orchid’s eyes once held?

"Hm?" He said. Smile as carefree as ever. As if this wasn’t their childhood coming to a screeching haunt as the birthday approached. As if they hadn't just been in the ER a few short weeks ago. As if they weren't all walking on eggshells.

Or maybe that's just what Velvet was feeling. Maybe it really was stemming from her. Maybe everyone else was normal, and not all evil and plotting against her.

Velvet would never be able to believe that inthe state she was in now.

“I want to share a party.” Velvet said, a tight lipped smile. An old familiar veil returning over her face.

Chapter Text

Mom. Veneer. Mount Rageous. Orchid.
Velvet’s thoughts were playing on an intrusive loop.

Mom is so mean. Veneer didn’t stand up for me. Veneer doesn’t care about what happened to me at Rageous. Mount Rageous. Mount Rageous. What am I going to tell Orchid? She would be disgusted with me. What I did. What I brought upon myself.

Mom, Veneer, Mount Rageous, Orchid.

Contrasting Velvet’s glum, grey attitude, there was so much excitement in the car.

Veneer at the wheel, Orchid in passenger, and Velvet in the back seat. The seat next to her was taken by three trolls, absolutely sinking in the seatbelt pulled across them.

Velvet didn't understand why they had to go all the way home. She wanted to finish their birthday prep shopping.

Evidently Veneer was trying to stay away from clothes shopping as much as possible, duh, she knew that.

But why did everybody have to be complicit in being inconvenienced when Veneer was having a problem?

Velvet huffed. She doubted she even owned anything specifically 'pink-fuchsia-orange'. They were inevitably going to have to go out and buy something the next day if Veneer wanted color coded outfits so badly.

Velvet guessed she wanted that too. She definitely wanted to match with Veneer. She always matched with Veneer, no one else. She could not let it happen again after finding out that Ritz had bought himself and Veneer matching hoodies.

Of course his intentions were completely harmless and he didn't even think about Velvet at all when buying the sweaters, but boy was she ever jealous when she saw.

She matched with Veneer, she was his twin. No one else.

Velvet cringed and tried to ignore as Poppy was singing and poking Velvet's arm with itchy hair, trying to get her to sing along to whatever biohazard was playing on the radio. She did not want this. She wanted to be shopping with Veneer alone. The world felt like it had a yucky grey aura to it.

Veneer was singing (badly) as was Orchid, still uncharacteristically detached. Velvet didn't feel good and didn't want to entertain the situation but knew that she had to play nice.

"Aha. You do not want to hear me sing. Trust me." Velvet said flatly to Poppy.

"Yeah no kidding." Floyd said. He shared a look with Velvet that appeared to be mutual annoyance at first glance, but neither could hide the small smile. Floyd understood how Velvet worked. Much better than Poppy understood her.

Alas, they arrived home. Orchid had become the troll perch of the afternoon, having Poppy on one shoulder and Viva on the other.

Veneer carried Floyd on his palm as he skipped over to Ritz who was playing his Xbox, and told him the good news. Velvet would be sharing a party with Veneer!

Ritz peeked over at Velvet. "You sure?" Ritz said to her directly. "You can have your own party if you want. Don't feel obligated to share. We'll come to yours too." Ritz said. "We kinda have to." He joked.

Velvet had to admit that was a little funny. Out of everyone, Ritz seemed the least affected by Velvet's recent episode of trying to hurt herself. Even going so far as to joke about it a a couple times.

His favorite of the teases was reminding everyone when Velvet asked for a favor or made a suggestion, they "have to or she's going to kill herself." Which Velvet felt gave the room a surprising sense of relief.

“Shut up fatty.” Velvet retorted to Ritz, throwing her jacket on him.

It was much easier for her when she could just be grim and make distasteful jokes. At least then she could talk about it and acknowledge the elephant in the room. It was exhausting trying to play nice all the time.

Although it was apparent that Veneer did not like that kind of humor, it make him uncomfortable. Veneer didn't like to think or talk about anything bad if it could be avoided, Velvet noticed.

She was the exact opposite in that regard. She hated when things got ignored. She wanted to shout and scream and cry about all the bad things that had happened.

But everyone seemed so uncomfortable talking about those things that caused her such big feelings. No one wanted to hear it from her. Veneer didn't know how to respond and Orchid was only silently growing more anxious about not being able to 'save' Velvet from such things.

"Why don't you girls see if you can find something in Vel's closet." Veneer ushered Orchid towards Velvet. Velvet felt it was painfully obvious that, lately, Veneer had been trying to put the two in situations with each other.

So he too had picked up on their awkward tension recently. Great.

"Then if you absolutely can't find anything at all we'll go to the mall tomorrow, 'kay?" Veneer said through a smile.

Orchid nodded uninterestedly, tucking hands into her pockets as she headed for Velvet's room. Velvet followed quickly behind.

Veneer seemed to be preoccupied with Ritz and the trolls, bringing his iPad to the couch to look for streamers and table cloths and whatnot.

Poppy seemed into that sort of thing. Maybe a little too into it. Velvet had seen Poppy pull confetti from her pockets and toss it. Little creep.

Orchid stepped into Velvet's room and stood waiting. Velvet closed the door behind herself.

"Ugh, what even is orange fuchsia pink?" Velvet huffed teasingly to Orchid.

Orchid shrugged.

"I hope I don't have anything so we can go shopping. Veneer's been so picky about going into clothing stores lately. He's the one with the shopping problem, not me."

"Yeah" Orchid said as she sat down on Velvet's bed.

Every second Orchid spent 'ignoring' Velvet felt like ants on her skin. She didn't know why it bothered her so much, especially when she had just decided Veneer's attention was her top priority.

But she could not clime the ladder without using the first few steps. And those first few steps were Orchid.
Veneer would not give Velvet his sole attention when he knew Orchid and her weren't getting along, he would always suggest Velvet spend more time with Orchid than him.

Velvet did not like when Orchid seemed dispassionate towards her. Velvet was the single most interesting person on the planet. Orchid of all people should know and appreciate that.

"Hm. Maybe we can find something cute for you too. You're coming to the party right?" Obviously she was, Velvet just wanted her to speak.

"Yeah. Hey I've got some homework to do." Orchid gestured to her laptop.

"Oh. You don't want to help me look for an outfit?" Velvet said hopefully. Orchid loved looking through Velvet's clothes, that was just a fact. She loved Velvet trying things on for her and watching her pose and tell the stories that came with each skin tight dress, each stiletto heel.

"Maybe later." Orchid gave a half smile. It was a look of almost pity? Velvet couldn't place that look. It said 'I appreciate what you're doing but no.'

Velvet didn't like that. She needed to figure out a way to get back in Orchid's favor. Things needed to get back to normal now.

Velvet bit down on her thumb nail. Her bottom tooth indented in the soft nail-sticker-material that hadn't quite cured yet. She didn't want to ruin her nails.

She took her hand away from her mouth and watched as her girlfriend sat crisscrossed on her bed and opened her computer. Orchid sat directly in the middle of the bed, leaving no room for Velvet to slide in next to her.

Velvet turned to her closet. It was messy at the moment, the bottom flooded with clothes and handbags and shoes. She did not care to clean it up at the moment. The floor of her closet had served as a nest of sorts the last time she had needed a place to cry and have a pity party. There was still an indentation in the pile from where she had laid.

Mom. Veneer. Mount Rageous. Orchid.

Her hand found a familiar place on her thigh. If she hiked her skirt up four and a half inches, her fingertips would brush against that rough patch of skin that wasn't quite a scar yet, still sort of a scab.

She would find the edge of the wound and she would pick at it until it bled, which she did, and it did.

She pulled her skirt back down.

Mom, Veneer, Mount Rageous, Orchid.

She shoved both hands into the pile and scrambled it up. Nothing orange, fuchsia or pink.
There were a few mauve or light purple-y things, tops and party dresses but nothing quite pink. She tsk'd her tongue, there was no point in looking for something that wasn't there. They should have just gone shopping.

Velvet felt something cool against her hand, something metal. The metal chain of a pink purse. Success! At least that was a start.

She pulled the chain until the little handbag untangled from the mess of the bottom of the closet. Out popped a purse she hadn't seen in ages. That was definitely the right shade of pink, closer to bubblegum than coral.
Purple-pink Veneer would call it.

Pink was so comforting. Pink was soft, pink was playful and cheerful with no effort.

Velvet briefly looked behind herself at Orchid. She was in a world of her own, typing quickly. A pencil hung from her mouth where she nibbled on the eraser. Something Velvet would have previously found yucky. But it was actually kind of cute to see Orchid so concentrated.

Velvet felt a longing feeling. She needed Orchid back to following her around like a baby duck.

Digging her hand into the pink bag to empty it, Velvet sighed quietly to herself. She was nothing without people to worship and praise her. Referring to Orchid. Or at least people to snicker and be mean with her. Referring to Veneer.

Empty and hollow and grey. She needed to be palatable enough for them to love her again.
She needed- hold on. Her hand plucked back out of the bag with a tube of lipstick, a used napkin and a crumb.

Velvet's stomach dropped. Half in astonishment, half in giddiness.
That wasn't just any crumb.
That was half a pill.
That was half of a very strong painkiller.

Velvet picked it up with two fingers and examined it. A keepsake leftover from another time. Percocet? Probably.

There was a tension between her and herself now. What to do with it.

Orchid was clicking away on her keyboard. She was probably answering a discussion board or something. Velvet looked back at her again, testing her luck of being found out.

Orchid paid her no attention, not even a passing glance. Velvet almost felt she was being purposefully ignored. If she didn't know Orchid better.

Velvet put her lipstick and used napkin aside. She placed the half a pill in the center of her palm. She had never taken a painkiller alone, back when she was drinking every day she would take one with alcohol and maybe smoke with it. She didn't really remember how the painkiller felt alone.

But she remembered that she liked it. Something about starring at it gave her a good feeling. She wanted more of that feeling. Memories of bliss. Memories of not being irritable for once. Memories of pink.

For a second, Velvet swore the dreamy pink color of her memories was seeping into reality. Her vision felt clouded with that dreamy hue. It almost seemed like the color reflected off her hands and the white carpet.

Velvet closed her eyes and shook her head. Back to normal. Back to white carpet and pearlescent hands.

That lovely pink looked like the lights of a bar. Or a club. Or a limo.

Velvet hungered for that.

She looked back over her shoulder at Orchid. Still typing. Velvet looked back into her hand.

Mom! Veneer! Mount Rageous! Orchid!
That was quite enough of that.

She tried to swallow it dry but it didn't work out so well. She stood and walked to the nightstand where there was a water bottle with just a swig left in it. She drank the last of it to clear her throat.

Orchid didn't even so much as sniff in Velvet's direction. Velvet went back to the floor in front of the closet. And now to wait.

Mom. Veneer. Mount Rageous. Orchid.

She pulled a sweater out of the pile and hung it on a hanger. She pulled out a pair of tights and put it in the laundry basket. She pulled everything out one by one and either folded it, hung it, or put it in the laundry basket. She was trying to kill time.

Maybe it wouldn't even work the same way she faintly remembered.

And then all at once, like an explosion of warmth in her head, she felt a change.

Mom, Veneer… what was I thinking about?

"Thank god," She said to herself. She then remembered Orchid was still right behind her on the bed. Velvet peeked over her shoulder one final time. Orchid sat unassuming, crisscrossed with her chin resting in her hands. She seemed to be just starring ahead lost in worrisome thought.

Velvet's face and forehead felt tingly. She felt better than before. Not only calmer, but now bubblier. She felt pink and bubbly like bubblegum.

Orchid was going to be a bit of a big project, getting her back to hanging on Velvet's every word. She had to start as soon as possible.

Velvet finally felt like she could think without picking at her leg or chewing her nails.

Mom, Ven… Bubblegum!

Orchid had seemed off for a while now, for weeks. Velvet wasn't dumb, she knew it was because of the incident with her leg. She knew a conversation about it was definitely way past due.

But truth be told, Velvet did not know how to go about having such a conversation. Every time she thought about what happened, which was becoming an increasingly concerning amount of times per day, she felt super uncomfortable.

Guilty, embarrassed, stupid. Usually when she thought about it she had to squeeze her eyes shut, which would be followed by the inevitable shiver.

Everyone had seen her like that, not just Veneer or just her girlfriend, but Everyone all at once. Velvet's face always felt hot when she thought about the commotion she had caused. All the trouble she had caused everyone in the middle of the night.

She knew her brother and her girlfriend loved her, even if they were being awkward about it, but Ritz probably thought pretty lowly of her.

Ugh, that thought was so embarrassing. She already felt a little uncomfortable around Ritz at times. Now he probably thought she was an attention seeking loser.

Velvet shook her head. No time for thoughts like that now. Bubblegum! Now she had to focus on Orchid. She stood up from her spot. She felt happy. The air was pink.
Like all the other bad feelings left long enough for happiness to settle for once.

Velvet approached the bed. She didn't really know what she was going to say, but maybe that wasn't important. Maybe it was more important that she listened to what Orchid had to say.

"Hey," Velvet whispered gently. She liked the way her voice sounded when she felt like this.

"Hi," Orchid whispered back, slowly unfolding from her position. She sat up out of her arms slowly, legs still crossed.

Velvet slid an arm up Orchid's back. She sat her butt on the bed as much as she could, her side pressing up against Orchid.

"You done with homework?" Velvet asked, using her free hand to steady herself against the bed. Orchid got the message and scooted over a little.

"Yeah." Orchid answered. She wasn't leaning into the affectionate but she wasn't exactly pulling away. Velvet knew she liked it and she could not hide that face forever.

"Good girl," Velvet Sat fully next to her now. Orchid's attention was grabbed. She could stare ahead all she wanted but nothing stopped her cheeks from turning bright raspberry. Another pink.

Velvet just wanted to take a bite out of those raspberries. Good god, she was feeling so much better now.

“Is this ok?” Velvet asked, referring to the circles she was rubbing on her girlfriend’s back.

Orchid nodded. Velvet hummed contently.

“You know, I owe you a conversation. And an apology.” Velvet said. Orchid looked at her with more engagement than Velvet had seen in weeks.

“Yeah? What about? What for?” She asked Velvet.

“For- everything that night. I know I flung your bag everywhere. I’m sorry. And I put a lot of stress on you and everyone. Especially you.” Velvet tried her best to conjure up a good start to the conversation.

Orchid looked taken aback. This seemed really random to her. Yes, she did sort of want an apology but she never thought she would actually receive it. Nor did she think it was actually appropriate, Velvet had suffered so much more than her.

Orchid’s only goal now was to keep things completely calm. Not upset her girlfriend or the delicate environment around her.

“I don’t know why I was even upset about that bag. I don’t think it was that- I dunno. It doesn’t matter, you have it a lot worse than me right now.” Orchid tried to rationalize. Velvet was going through a lot, a spilled backpack shouldn’t upset her when Velvet’s whole life seemed terrible.

“But it does matter.” Velvet assured, “I wrecked something of yours. And I think it’s not really about the backpack… you probably just felt like I disrespected your belongings.” Velvet said.

Wow, she felt really smart! Maybe smart wasn’t the word, emotionally smart? No that didn’t work. It was like she was calm enough she could really feel Orchid’s emotions.

Empathy? Up until a month ago, when Orchid went sort of radio silent in the emotions department, Velvet felt her girlfriend was one of the only people she could really feel for.

She considered herself cold and callous by nature. But she was starting to question if that was really organically how she was. Maybe somewhere further down inside she really was capable of empathy.

But what did that mean? If she let herself be empathetic, would someone take advantage of that?

“I feel like I’m being selfish,” Orchid said quietly.

“You’re not. I’m sorry I wrecked your backpack.”
Velvet pulled Orchid close by her shoulder and kissed her temple. Orchid couldn’t help but smile. Then she frowned.

“That’s not all you’ve been thinking about, is it?” Velvet observed.

“I don’t know… what to say.” Orchid tried. Velvet let the silence hang.
“I’m scared.” Orchid spoke again.

“Scared?” Velvet encouraged.

“Scared you’ll get hurt.” Orchid said in a small voice.

Oh. Velvet didn’t realize she had scared her. She hadn’t meant to do that. Her face and head were still swirly with that good feeling, but now she felt something else too. She felt sorry for what she had done.

“I’m sorry. I wont do it again. I- ugh it was just a- such a stupid thing. I don’t know. I took it too far so I stopped doing it.” Velvet said, her voice unusually expressive. Usually she was more monotone when she was talking about heavy things.

“I was supposed to protect you.” Orchid said.

“You did protect me. You took me to the doctor and I got better.” Velvet reminded.

“No, I shouldn’t have let you be alone after your mom triggered you like that, I knew you were upset.” Orchid scolded herself.

Velvet didn’t like that word. Only babies with no concept of the real world got triggered. But bubblegum! It was fine.

“Ah. It’s ok. I ran away into the house before you.” Velvet reminded her.

“I just feel so bad about it- I’ve been thinking about what I should have done differently and how I don’t want to upset you again- I didn’t mean to ignore you Velvy,” Orchid was squeezing her in a nice warm hug before Velvet even knew what was happening. She hugged back. She had to admit she really loved this girl. She couldn’t believe how badly she missed being held.

“I just don’t want to set you off- I don’t want to make it worse.” Orchid admitted.

Velvet didn’t like that. She knew everyone was always afraid of setting her off. She knew that.

“It’s ok.” Velvet said. “I know I make people nervous. I’m working on it.” She said.

“I love you.” Orchid said, pressing her face into Velvet’s stomach. Velvet felt butterflies flutter about in her body. Bubblegum butterflies.

“I know bug. I love you too.” Velvet said. She wanted to say ‘I love you so much, so much you’ll never understand, I want to feel your skin against mine and I want your eyes on me forever, I want to be the only thing you pay attention to and vise versa’ but she felt that may come off a little too strong. She needed to ease back into things, or Orchid might go dormant again. Or worse, she might suspect something was different about Velvet.

“I’m sorry I dumped your bag and I’m sorry I hurt myself. It was dumb and I was upset.” Velvet tried to wrap up the slightly uncomfortable conversation.

“What happens the next time you get upset? Orchid worried.

There won’t be a next time, I’m about to go get more painkillers.

“I wouldn’t worry about that particular situation coming up again. Nothing could ever make me as upset as- that.” Velvet said.

“…as your mom?” Orchid finished Velvet’s sentence for her. She was right but it still stung.
Velvet silently rubbed Orchid’s back. Her warm face pressed against Velvet’s stomach felt wonderful coupled with the drug tingles.

“We don’t need to talk about it.” Velvet affirmed.

“She said some really mean stuff to you.” Orchid pressed. Velvet didn’t like that. One of the most embarrassing things to her was how her mom treated her. It made her feel gross and subhuman. She always felt like she deserved it.

“She always says stuff like that.” Velvet chided.

Orchid sat up, meeting Velvet’s gaze. Velvet’s hand slipped from her back as it moved out of reach.

“Veneer didn’t hear but I did. I heard everything . I see you Vel.” Orchid said.

It made Velvet uneasy when Orchid got so serious like this. She was a silly girl by nature. Even when she was upset it seemed like a silly little girl problem. Even her emotional distance wasn’t as distressing as this.

Velvet didn’t know what to say. She shrugged.
Orchid leaned in and kissed her forehead.
“I won’t say anything else but. Remember you have people that really love you. I don’t know what that was but. Yeah. You have people that really love you.” Orchid reiterated.

Velvet nodded. Mom didn’t love her? But she said she did. Bubblegum pink feelings covered that thought up quickly. It was ok.

“You want a back rub?” Velvet offered. Truly she just didn’t want to crack under the pressure of Orchid looking at her face so closely. She also didn’t want Orchid to notice she was high. Not that she would be able to tell anyway, Orchid knew nothing about any of that stuff.

Orchid happily flopped down against a big fluffy pillow, face down.
“I’ll even use some of my special bath and bodyworks lotion. But only because I traumatized you by mutilating myself.” Velvet joked grimly. Orchid still laughed.

“That’s all I get for getting traumatized?” She joked. Velvet grabbed the lotion off the vanity and went back to the bed, rolling up the back of Orchid’s hoodie. Orchid went quiet, Velvet knew she was blushing her raspberries again.

She smiled. Her brain and body felt like bubblegum. She had hung the moon for Orchid again.

She rubbed a pea sized dab of eucalyptus scented lotion between her hands and placed her palms against her girlfriend’s back, smoothing up and down her skin. Orchid hummed happily. Velvet rubbed her back until she fell asleep.

Velvet laid down next to her, even though they were facing the wrong way in the bed.

In place of her usual intrusive thoughts buzzed an empty static, like an older tv with no signal.

Nothing but pink.

Chapter Text

Velvet's thumb hovered over the screen name on instagram. She hadn't talked to this girl an a while. Velvet wondered if she would even still consider her a friend.

Velvet didn't ever really feel like any of her "friends" from Rageous truly had a connection with her. They didn't know much about her other than she was the Velvet as in Velvet and Veneer.

She didn't know much about them either. Some of these old friends who were in the same circles were big names like her, and some were just into music and partying and that lifestyle.

This particular girl was named Kiko. Velvet thought that sounded like a fake name. Not just a stage name, but it didn't even sound right on her.

Kiko had a lavender completion and blue hair. The kind of blue that made you say, wow that's blue!

Velvet didn't know much about her. Other than she was also a singer. Well sort of. She used to preform a lot more. She had some issues.

Velvet supposed she was an ex-singer with issues too. There, they already had a lot in common.

Velvet clicked her name in the Direct Messages.
This is someone she used to party with occasionally. She hadn't gone out with those people in months.

Velvet felt that the night she finally admitted to herself she was gay was the night she felt ready to let that life go. She didn't know if there was much correlation or if she was in a transitional phase in her life.

But old habits die hard.

"Hey girl what's up"

Velvet texted her.

"Omg velvet"

Velvet smiled. So she wasn't excommunicated at least.

"You busy? Let's hang out I haven't seen you"
Velvet texted casually.

"Dude come over what I'm unemployed I'm never busy"
Kiko answered.

Bingo. Velvet smiled to herself, sitting off her bed. She would have to come up with an excuse, of course. She couldn't tell Veneer she was going to Kiko's, Veneer did not like her. He categorized her as one of Velvet's "trashy" friends.

Why, just because she did drugs and didn't work? And because maybe possibly she had sold to Velvet?

Veneer was such a "don't sell drugs to my sister" type of person. Ugh, so annoying. Velvet's least favorite personality type.

•••

Veneer had to shuffle his hips to get them into the 00 size pants. Even once he got them up his hips, they wouldn't close.

That was not wonderful news. He looked in the mirror in the changing room. His stall was one of two dressing rooms in the back of the twins' favorite store.

It was a funky little shop in the mall with clothes from small designers. That meant they were still designer clothes, but there was a high chance nobody had anything else like it.

The store was usually empty when they showed up late in the day, and they completely took over the only two changing stalls. They'd go back and forth, gathering matching pieces, and completing them with accessories.

Veneer loved getting to spend countless hours at this store with his sister. It was a special place just for them. He prided himself on having the exact same fashion taste as Velvet.

This shop was a place the two didn't even share with their partners. It was an escape from everything, and Veneer liked how it felt like the two could always touch base with each other. Catch up on the small things happening in their individual lives.

Secrets were shared, gossip was spilt. Veneer wanted to finally be totally on the same page as his sister. He had no idea what was going on in her mind over the past few weeks. And he had no idea how to ask. Velvet was such a loose canon.

He could not believe she had been self harming. He could not BELIEVE it. How many times had she leaned in close and whispered into Veneer's ear, "holy fuck look at her arms," sneakily gesturing to some poor unsuspecting girl in public.

Velvet looked down on people who did that to themselves. She made fun of people with scars. She thought of them as attention seeking and self pitying. And she had voiced her opinion loudly.

And with cigarettes? That was so dirty. Literally, filthy to put all that ash into a burn which was an open wound. That was dirt and grime going right into her body. Veneer wondered if that's why she seemed under the weather lately.

Veneer was pretty sure Velvet's dance team was back in season, but he hadn't seen her attend once. He hadn't heart her talk about her agent or any independent contracts or anything lately.

He was almost worried she had given up. But he didn't want to jump to conclusions.

Veneer felt like if he tried to bring anything up with her it was going to be like stepping on a land mine.

But when they were shopping things were different. There was no stress of the outside world, it was just them in a land away from everything.

They could be anybody they wanted, look any way they felt. Spending all day imagining yourself looking any way you wanted was such a nice escape that talking about things just felt natural.

"I don't like these, they fit weird." Velvet called from her stall. They had both been trying on the same pair of matching shorts with frills. Thank god, Veneer didn't want to admit they didn't fit. He didn't want to have to size up. Maybe they would find something with a different shape, something sewn looser.

"The orange pants? That's ok. That's way too much orange. Eugh, reminds me of a jumpsuit." Veneer commented. He graciously wiggled out of them.

"Try these," Velvet's hand popped through the curtain of the changing room holding a pair of long pants, magenta with bell bottoms.

"There's a cute pair of shorts in the exact same color I'm trying on. Same frills too." Velvet said.
Veneer heard the metal hoops that held up the curtain of the other stall sliding against the poll they hung from as Velvet went back in.

Veneer looked at the long pants. They were cute enough, they were men's pants and low rise.
Velvet's shorts must be the female counterpart from this brand.

They looked cute enough. Two sizes up from the other pants. That wasn't pleasing. He slid them on with ease. He frowned at himself in the mirror, turning to the side.

He didn't like how he felt his stomach poked out over the low rise pants. That was strike two, the first strike being the larger size. He was not feeling great about himself in these pants.

He sat down on the stool in his stall.

"I really like this color," Velvet called from
The next stall over. "I hope these fit. How do you like yours?" Velvet asked, obviously hopping on one foot in her stall trying to get the shorts up.

"Oh yeah, these are cute, I think these are-" Velvet sounded like she was feeling herself for a second, Veneer didn't understand why she stopped talking.

He was feeling a bad sense of shame in his tummy, he didn't feel like saying anything for a few seconds. Truth be told he was trying to think about something else before he could get upset. He felt that familiar warm teary feeling wash over his face and chest. Any second now his throat was going to start to burn.

And then Velvet would demand why he was crying, fuss at him for still being ashamed of his body. That was old news, they were past that, Veneer didn't need to worry so heavily about being skinny anymore.
They weren't preforming as "Velvet and Veneer" anymore, there were no stakes and no competitors. They were just living life now and there was no reason for Veneer or Velvet for that matter to worry so much about being perfect. That's what Velvet would tell him. That he was being silly.

But Veneer didn't feel that way. He wasn't as pretty as Velvet. She had so much confidence she could wear whatever she wanted, didn't care about how little or how much she weighed anymore, didn't care what other's thought. Or maybe she was just apathetic. Veneer couldn't tell with Velvet.

She seemed confident. He supposed that's all that mattered.

He heard Velvet shuffling around. He heard her sigh a bunch of times. She seemed frustrated. Maybe her outfit wasn't working out so well after all.

"Are you dressed?" Velvet asked. "Yes but don't come in-" Veneer was interrupted by Velvet throwing open the curtain and yanking it closed behind her. She hugged herself and stood in front of Veneer.

"What?" Veneer said, confused. Velvet's face was bright red and she looked angry, but also pouty.

"Look!" Velvet threw her arms open as if it was obvious what she was upset about.

Veneer looked at the shorts. They seemed fine. High waisted magenta shorts with frills that matched his pants.

Then he looked at her legs. Oh, the shorts were entirely too short.
"Oooh. Oh, hunny." Veneer stood and hugged Velvet. He knew the feeling. He knew exactly what she felt. He never wanted anyone to have to understand that bad feeling, especially Velvet.

"It's the self harm?" Veneer asked quietly. Velvet didn't answer, she just leaned into the embrace. She did not like it being called self harm.

That's not what it was to her. It was... something else. Surely it had to be something else. She hated that anyone knew about it now. It was so embarrassing. It was embarrassing that Veneer knew. And even more embarrassing that it felt like he had been tiptoeing around talking about it. That made it feel more shameful.

Like it was something to hide.

What was once a fun secret for her to keep was now a looming tension hanging over her head.

But she honest to god didn't know what to do that night she had gone overboard. It hurt so much. She was pretty sure she had even taken the lighter straight to her skin at some point. The burns were evident of that. It was such a blur.

She wished she hadn't done it. She wished she had just yelled at her mom or cried to her friends as they were going home. Why couldn't she have normal emotions? She always felt so confused.
Whatever she had done to herself, it wasn't self harm. That's all she knew.

She would remember to correct Veneer later when she wasn't on the verge of tears.

"They're gunna fade. I promise." Veneer gave her a scratch with his acrylics.

She covered her face with her hands and leaned on his shoulder, sighing. Veneer squeezed her.
"Are you crying?" Veneer whispered.

"No. Are you?" Velvet whispered back.

"No."
They would not cry.

"Why are you upset?" Velvet inquired. She liked being hugged but they couldn't stand like that forever. She pulled back.

Veneer shrugged. Velvet looked at the outfit.
"Well I don't see anything wrong with it."

"I feel grody." He complained.

"Elaborate." Velvet pressed.

"My stomach." Veneer turned away uncomfortably. In the back of his mind he was always waiting for Velvet to say something about how he looked. She was going to decide that he did look fat and laugh at his stomach poking over.

Let the record show that it did not even poke over.

"Ok? It looks fine." Velvet said. No, softer, she needed to be softer. She could be softer.

She put an arm around his shoulder, bringing him in for a hug. If she had gotten one, he deserved one too. If he was patient with her, he deserved the same.

"I know you feel bad. I'm sorry. But your stomach is literally flat. I'm way bigger than you Ven, you don't have to feel- wait- oh my gosh let's trade." Velvet was dashing out of the stall and into her own, tossing the shorts to Veneer and holding her hand out over the stall for the pants. "trade, trade," she said.

"Oh. Oh! Oh my gosh," Veneer lit up happily as they traded garments and dressed quickly. Veneer popped out of the stall to look in the big mirror. That was much better!

He felt like the high waist made him look synched. What a relief. Velvet stepped out of the stall and strutted to the mirror.

"Ugh, that is so much better. Thank god," she turned and looked over her shoulder to see her butt in the mirror. "I think I could wear a thong and whale tail it," she commented to herself.

"Ew," Veneer laughed. But he had to admit he felt much better.

"Still feel like crying?" Velvet said to Veneer. He could distinctly hear the shift in her tone when she spoke to him directly. It was softer.

"No. You?" He peeked up at her.

She looked confidently at him, flipping her hair over her shoulder. "Wasn't even going to." She said. She looked smugly at herself in the mirror.

Veneer was pretty impressed with how quickly the situation resolved. Velvet was quick thinking and saved the both of them from being upset.
And she returned the gentleness and patience he had with her. Veneer really appreciated that.

Things could either go one of two ways when Velvet had to react to Veneer being upset. She could level with him and console him, be understanding and give him the hugs he needed or she could lecture him and get angry with him for even being upset in the first place.

It was a relief to see her react positively.
It was bittersweet, because Veneer didn't know Velvet was high.

Chapter Text

Velvet's thumb hovered over the screen name on instagram. She hadn't talked to this girl an a while. Velvet wondered if she would even still consider her a friend.

Velvet didn't ever really feel like any of her "friends" from Rageous truly had a connection with her. They didn't know much about her other than she was THE Velvet as in Velvet and Veneer.

She didn't know much about them either. Some of these old friends who were in the same circles were big names like her, and some were just into music and partying and that lifestyle.

This particular girl was named Kiko. Velvet thought that sounded like a fake name. Not just a stage name, but it didn't even sound right on her.

Kiko had a teal completion and blue hair. The kind of blue that made you say, wow that's blue!

Velvet didn't know much about her. Other than she was also a singer. Well sort of. She used to preform a lot more. She had some issues that kept her from really ever reaching her full potential.

Velvet supposed she herself was also an ex-singer with issues. There, they already had a lot in common.

Velvet clicked her name in the Direct Messages.
This is someone she used to party with occasionally. She hadn't gone out with those people in months.

Velvet felt that the night she finally admitted to herself she was gay was the night she felt ready to let that life go. She didn't know if there was much correlation or if she was in a transitional phase in her life.

But old habits die hard.

"Hey girl"

Velvet texted her.

"Omg velvet"

Kiko replied instantly.

Velvet smiled. So she wasn't excommunicated, at least.

"You busy? Let's hang out I haven't seen you recently "
Velvet texted casually.

"Dude what? come over im unemployed im never busy"
Kiko answered.

Bingo. Velvet smiled to herself, sitting off her bed. She would have to come up with an excuse, of course. She couldn't tell Veneer she was going to Kiko's, Veneer did not like her. He categorized her as one of Velvet's "trashy" friends.

Why, just because she did drugs and didn't work? And because maybe possibly she had sold to Velvet?

Veneer was such a "don't sell drugs to my sister" type of person. Ugh, so annoying. Velvet's least favorite personality type.

Kiko always had the hookup. And recent word was Kiko was selling now.

•••

Veneer liked when everyone was home. Himself, Velvet, his boyfriend Ritz, and Orchid as well. The living room felt so cozy with everyone in it. It felt homey.

He put his legs across Ritz's lap on the couch. Ritz was distracted doing something on his phone. The context told Veneer that he was trying to learn a language through an app. He'd been getting increasingly louder shouting into his phone, seemingly frustrated.

It was making Veneer giggle.

Ritz scratched his fingertips up under the hem of his knit cap, itching at his scalp in displeasure
"Poor favoor... poor favoor- damn. No...Molesta? What the fuck does that mean, freaky ass app. Jesus Christ." Ritz was making everyone laugh as he sat up in surprise.

Orchid, who sat on the floor next to Velvet, turned around and laughed out loud. "It's saying please don't bother me, it's not saying please don't molest me you fool," She laughed hard, momentarily distracted from the computer she was looking at with Velvet.

Veneer couldn't help but giggle too. He loved when everybody got along. Or rather, when Velvet let everybody get along.

"Come on we have to submit it today or it's not going to come on time." Velvet chided, getting Orchid's attention again. She turned back and faced the computer. They were trying to get Orchid a fake ID. While Velvet and Veneer were both turning twenty one , Orchid had only recently turned twenty herself.

Velvet really wanted everyone to be able to go clubbing together after the upcoming birthday party. Orchid seemed a little nervous about being deceptive with a fake ID. She was a really honest person and had no interest in breaking the law.

Velvet explained literally everyone has a fake ID at Rageous. Literally. Everyone.

Orchid agreed. She had to admit, she felt really cool doing something 'bad' with Velvet. Especially when it was something small like an ID, but it made her feel like she was doing a big gesture.

Veneer sighed contently at the living room. He laced his fingers with Ritz. Ritz gave his hand a squeeze, sticking his phone into his pocket and leaning over against Veneer to kiss him on the cheek. "Love you," he said into Veneer's neck.

"Love you too." Veneer smiled.

"Ick," Velvet barked.

"Oh hush." Veneer scolded her teasingly.
Velvet stuck a finger down her throat, eyes still on her computer.

"I'm so happy we're having a birthday together!" Veneer squealed and kicked his feet. "It's been so long," he looked excitedly to Velvet.

She sighed. "I know." She sounded a little guilty. "I do want to celebrate with you. But You and I don't exactly have a good track record with birthdays as of recent years. At least you got to celebrate at all last year while I was still locked up. You could be a little more grateful for that." Velvet said, turning her attention back to the computer to submit the form.

She didn't mean anything malicious by that statement, just acknowledging that Veneer was paroled to house arrest a lot sooner than she was. She thought about that a lot lately.

•

To Velvet, it seemed that Veneer had his 'freedom' instantly after two months, and Velvet had to spend time in a psychiatric hospital. It felt like such a blurry time in her life. She didn't remember the small details. She was glad not to.

She was pretty sure she hadn't been paroled out as soon as Veneer. Was she in hospital for two weeks or three? She didn't care to think about it.

When she finally came "home" to her parent's house, Veneer had already been there a while. And they would only remain there for exactly six days before their new apartment was ready.

Being in her childhood bedroom just felt like another form of being incarcerated.

Veneer had seemed really off during that time. Velvet was sure she had seemed off as well. To be fair, the both of them had just gotten out of prison.

The two had gone to their separate childhood rooms and ignored each other. Then at the new apartment, after unpacking the few boxes they had, and silently constructing furniture, they returned to their solitude again.

It was the biggest strain in their friendship ever. That was during the time Veneer and Floyd were becoming friends. For a little while, Floyd was Veneer's only friend.

Velvet would be lying if she said she wasn't jealous that Veneer got released sooner. And he didn't have to spend any time at all in the psych hospital. That didn't seem quite fair. Veneer was far more troubled than Velvet was... At least she thought so.

•

"Wait, what?" Veneer asked for clarification.

"What do you mean 'what'? " Velvet looked back over at Veneer.

"What do you mean I got to celebrate last year?" Veneer scoffed a little.

"I mean you got out way before me. You would have been out on our birthday. Probably getting worshiped by mom n' daddy." Velvet scoffed back, pretending to focus on her phone now.

Clearly if he was out, he would have celebrated his birthday. Velvet knew him.

"Mm." Veneer kind of pouted. Fine, he could pout if he wanted to. Velvet wished she had her bubblegum. It was easier to ignore when Veneer was being a brat. He was getting an awesome party that he could share with his sister, what more could he possibly want?

"You just always assume whatever you want." Veneer said under his breath.

"Yeah well I highly doubt I'm far off. Your life is always easier than mine." Velvet retorted, sitting up straighter. That was coming from a place inside her. A jealous place. She hadn't really meant to just outright say it like that.

"I'm hungry. We should go get a snack," Orchid put her hands over Velvet's trying to distract her before an argument could break out. She could always tell when Velvet was about to start up.

Veneer spoke again.
"You never even bothered to ask me about that time period so whatever. I didn't get to celebrate our birthday but believe what you want." Veneer huffed, pushing Ritz off of himself and sitting up to cross his arms. Ritz looked at Veneer anxiously. Was he about to get upset? Ritz knew why Veneer would be upset about that time period, he couldn't believe Velvet didn't know.

Those two were a mess.

"It's alright you guys. We don't have to worry about old shit now." Ritz tried to politely break the fighting up.

"I don't have to ask." Velvet said to Veneer, ignoring Ritz. "I don't even care. I promise whatever microscopic baby problems you had on the outside do not interest me at all while I was still on the inside." Velvet sort of laughed out.

She wasn't being mean, she was being honest. It came across as mean because Veneer was being a brat about it. Whatever he had to complain about was nothing compared to what Velvet went through. Surely.

He knew she went to the psych hospital. He knew it was scary and bleak and awful there. Clearly whatever he had been through in the same span of time was no comparison.

"Guys come on," Orchid said,  more to Velvet than Veneer.

Velvet ignored Orchid.

"...you're being mean." Veneer said very quietly.

"Ok? You're being fucking stupid." Velvet mocked back.

"Velvet!" Orchid chided angrily.

Angrily? Velvet completely dropped all her attention away from Veneer and over to her girlfriend. Orchid could not be angry at Velvet, she loved her.

Orchid couldn't be angry, she worshiped her.

"What?" Velvet barked back at Orchid.

Veneer whisked himself off the couch, a hand covering his mouth as he flew off to his room.

"That was terrible," Orchid scolded her. Scolded? This couldn't be real. Velvet hung the moon for Orchid, she was supposed to be her goddess.

Before Velvet could get another word out Ritz was standing over her as she remained on the floor.

"You wanna know why he got out earlier than you?" Ritz said in a threatening voice. Velvet didn't like this. Everybody was against her. Everyone hated her. They hated her. Everyone around her secretly hated her this whole time. She knew it.

"It's because he got jumped, dude. You're so selfish when it comes to him I can't fucking stand it. He got jumped by like at least three bigger dudes and he ended up with a bruised rib. He had to go to the actual hospital, not just the jail hospital. That's why he got out early. You ass. You always have to be an ass."

Ritz was bent over too close. Too close to Velvet, too loud, too angry. He wasn't even yelling, just speaking loudly. Trying to get his point across to her. She frustrated him so much sometimes and he never told her for fear of making things worse.

Now Velvet was angry and wounded. Everyone hated her and there was a man standing over her yelling at her. Man yelling. That was too intense.

"Well I didn't-" Velvet made a disgusted face as she tried to snap back.

"No! Why don't you think about anybody but yourself? You're not the only person who goes through bad things dude. You never even asked him WHY he was out earlier than you and it's because he got really, really hurt." Ritz boomed over her.

Velvet bit her tongue, thinking about the upcoming party. She couldn't make it any worse than she already had. She couldn't let it get ruined. She needed to mend her relationship with Veneer.

But she was angry, offended, and genuinely unsettled by having Ritz yell at her like that. Especially from her position on the floor, it felt like he was looming over her.

She would not yell back. She would not make it worse. She could not be unpalatable. She needed them all to like her. She needed them to stay. She needed Veneer to like her. She needed him to stay.

Velvet just starred at Ritz. She looked so angry. He looked like he was expecting an answer.
"Sorry." Velvet said through gritted teeth. She had to keep herself at bay. None of this would matter soon, she would find a way to
get some more painkillers and all of this would float away.

"Whatever dude. You're such a freak." Ritz stood back up, faced away and walked off in the other direction of Veneer's room. He tossed his headphones off and onto the couch. He slammed the door behind himself.

Behave behave behave. Don't say anything snippy.

"You didn't stand up for me?" Velvet couldn't keep it in. She didn't want to start with Orchid. She really didn't want to. She wanted to take the situation as it was and fix it.

"Not when you're in the wrong," Orchid said back quietly. She faced away. Velvet's stomach hurt. Orchid had to love her. What did she do? She had to fix this.

"I know- I'm sorry." Velvet said quickly.

"Do you know baby? You shouldn't speak that way to him. Or anybody." Orchid turned and looked at Velvet.

'But what about how Ritz spoke to me?'

Velvet tried to make the most listening and attentive face she could. She nodded.

"I know. You're right." She said quickly.

Orchid gave velvet a suspicious look. What was she trying to pull?

She reached up and held Velvet's face gently.
"Look at me," She said when Velvet averted her gaze. Velvet looked back.

"Why are you so angry?" Orchid said. She stroked her thumb across Velvet's cheek. Velvet shivered a little. Orchid was her weakness.

"I don't know." Velvet said quickly. Orchid tilted her head to the side. She kept eye contact.

"He was being a brat." Velvet answered.

"How?" Orchid prompted. She was remaining pretty neutral. She didn't seem mad now. She stroked her thumb again. Velvet leaned into it.

"Uhm. I don't know. He was talking about stuff that upset me." Velvet admitted.

Orchid made a funny face, a little bit of a smile.
"Ok, so he touched a nerve? Baby that's not his fault." She said gently.

Velvet stared in response.

"Look, You both had a bad experience with jail-" Orchid started, "don't talk about it," Velvet said quickly, her hands jumping up and ready to cover her ears.
"Woah, I wasn't going to. I won't talk about it."

Orchid visibly backed off, her hands up in slight surrender. Velvet brought her hands down an inch, still at the ready in case Orchid began to speak of upsetting things.

"I don't care about what happened to Veneer and I don't want to talk about it." Velvet threatened.

"Shhh," Orchid hushed her. She brought her hands up to Velvet's, placing her thumbs into Velvet's palms and giving a squeeze. "I know. I know it upset you." Orchid agreed with her. She could see right through Velvet's words and what she really meant by it. She knew Velvet never meant it when she said she didn't care about Veneer.

Velvet huffed, trying to resist being soothed.
"I freaking hate how all you guys bring up super uncomfortable stuff all the time." Velvet griped.

"Technically this time you brought it up." Orchid pointed out, just trying to be realistic. "He just responded."

"I don't care!" Velvet said too loudly.

Orchid took her hands away. "Ok. Whatever. I don't want you to be upset. We'll talk about it later." Orchid said. Velvet felt like crying now. She couldn't handle emotional situations right. Ever. She always had to ruin everything.

But everyone was making fun of her for having to go to the psyche hospital! That's what this was about. Why else would they be so bend out of shape over that specific time period. Everyone hated her. She needed to get away. She needed to be likable again. They couldn't hate her.

She stood up. "I'm going on a walk to calm down." She stated. Orchid could hear the tears burning her throat. It broke her heart to see Velvet like that.

But Velvet was very troubled. She needed time to herself to regroup and process things privately. She was on a hair trigger when it came to uncomfortable emotions.

"Um. Ok..." Orchid wasn't so sure about Velvet going off out of the house when she was upset. What if she decided not to come back like last time? "Please be safe. I love you," Orchid added. She was worried.

Velvet stuffed her phone in her pocket as she snatched her keys off the hook. She paused by the door for a second.

"I know. It's fine. Stop. Love you too." She waited to see if Orchid would say anything else. She didn't. Velvet left.

Off to Kiko's.

•••

Two hours later, Velvet crept back into the apartment. She apologized to Orchid. Genuinely.

Orchid accepted, as loving as ever.
"Where did you go?" Orchid asked worriedly.

"I went to visit my friend. Talked some things out. I need to talk to my brother. I really owe him an apology." Velvet admitted. She didn't feel sheepish or bad, she was bubbly pink.

She slunk over to Veneer's room. Hushed voices spoke behind the door. Velvet opened the door a little and poked her face in.

"Ven. Can I come in?" She asked gently. Everything was afloat. Nothing could hurt her pride. Ritz was the only face she could see in the dark.

"Heyyy, Velvet. Sorry for calling you a freak earlier. That was incredulously rude of me." He said in a sort of lighthearted tone.
"Ha, it's ok. I was being insane. Can I come in?" She asked. Ritz was easy to smooth tings over with, she learned. Ritz gave her a look that said, 'don't ask me, ask Veneer'.

Velvet took a chance and slunk in. Veneer was cuddled up to Ritz, facing away from the door. He seemed almost asleep.

"Veneer. We should talk." She whispered. He rolled over a bit, looking antsy. He didn't like the sound of that.

"No, it's ok. I just want to say I'm sorry. And- I should have asked you about what happened when you got out sooner." She clasped her hands in front of her, hoping to look apologetic.

"Now?" Veneer seemed confused. "Yeah. Is that ok?" Velvet asked. Veneer looked to Ritz.

"Should I leave the room?" Ritz realized.

Veneer looked at Velvet.

"Maybe just for a minute. If it's cool." Velvet tried to be agreeable.

"It's up to you," Ritz looked to Veneer.

Veneer shrugged, sitting up a little.

"Well we were talking about dinner a while ago. Maybe I'll go order us something with Orchid." Ritz suggested. Veneer thought it over a little, and nodded.

"Kay. I'll be right outside baby," Ritz kissed Veneer on the forehead, then shuffled out of the bed. Veneer watched him go. He looked up at his sister.

"Can I sit?" Velvet asked. Veneer sat up and pulled a pillow into his lap, resting his face into it.
Velvet sat.

"I'm sorry I didn't ask about what happened when you got out. I didn't know it was something bad." She said.

Veneer shrugged. "Wouldn't you rather not think about this kind of stuff? Wouldn't you rather be happy?" Veneer muffled into the pillow.

Wow, there it was. Veneer had been avoiding everything. He was pushing it to the back of his mind and ignoring it. No wonder he never brought up anything Velvet confided in him. He was trying to avoid either of them thinking about it.

But Velvet was different. All that stuff ate her up inside.

"But I'm not happy. And neither are you. Don't lie to me. You're hurting." Velvet said.

Veneer buried his face in the pillow. "It's soooo hard to talk to you...That's why I like talking to Bell about this stuff. She had nothing to do with it. It's- it's just so painful. I want to comfort you but I also-" he went quiet.

Velvet put a hand on Veneer's shoulder and scooted closer. "I also want to be comforted about it. But you're like hurting so bad. I don't want to give you any more problems to worry about," Veneer squeaked out.

"But don't you talk to Floyd? He was involved. You talk to him more than you talk to Bell. Who's an actual therapist." Velvet reasoned.

"Yeah, I guess that's true. But he's different than you. You-" Veneer stopped himself.

"Bro. I'm completely calm right now. I really want to talk about this stuff. I won't get mad." Velvet promised. She really, really just wanted all this secrecy to be over. Everything belonged out in the open.

"M' scared." Veneer spoke into the pillow.

"Me too." Velvet agreed. "What are you scared of?" She prompted.

"Scared of you getting mad. Floyd isn't explosive." Veneer crept around calling Velvet herself explosive, but he truly was afraid of that.

"Ok. I know that. What about what happened when you got out. What about that scares you?" Velvet redirected the conversation.

Veneer threaded his fingers through his hair.

"What if I. I-" Veneer shook his head.

Velvet waited silently.

"You're gunna be mad at me if I-" Veneer shook his head again.

"I won't be mad. No matter how it makes you feel. I don't even care if you start crying and yelling. I do that all the time." Velvet promised. Bubblegum helped her not sound so flat when she spoke.

"Even if- I just have really bad anxiety- talking about this stuff makes it worse-" Veneer tried to explain.

Regular Velvet would have said something like "spit it out already!" But bubblegum Velvet was patient and happy.

"Good thing your best friend is right here." Velvet said, nudging Veneer. Velvet was pleased with any opportunity to let Veneer remember that she was his best friend, she was his twin. He should be confiding in her over anyone else.

"Yeah..." Veneer agreed, comforted by the thought.

"Yeah." Velvet repeated.

Veneer sighed heavily.
"Ritz already told you. I heard him. I got jumped." Veneer mumbled into his pillow.

Velvet placed a hand on his back. She could be comforting. She could do this. She was calm. She knew what to do.

"I'm sorry." She whispered.

Veneer peeked up. He was waiting for her to prompt him.

"So what happened? Who was it?" She said. Hearing herself say that out loud sort of made her realize that someone, a few someones, had gotten violent with her brother. She felt angry. She wanted names. But this wasn't the time.

She remembered how hysterical she had gotten when Veneer asked 'who' when Velvet had come out about all the inappropriate sexual relationships she'd gotten involved in at Rageous.
Asking 'who' seemed to be unhelpful. Veneer was quiet.

"Sorry. That's not important. You don't have to give me details." She assured.

Veneer sighed again, and Velvet patted him.
"I hate myself." Veneer said quietly. What? Veneer was almost as vain and self absorbed as Velvet, he loved himself. He could not hate himself.

Then again, Velvet had a very conflicted relationship with self worth too. She hated herself a lot more than she showed.

"Well I love yourself." She said. "You didn't deserve to get your shit rocked." She said firmly.

"I- it just sticks with me. I just feel like I have to be like- super positive and happy and keep everyone in a good mood. I don't want to get beat up. I'm scared if I let anyone get in a bad mood I'm going to get hurt." Veneer admitted

Yikes, that was definitely directed at her too. That was true, Velvet had proved to him that if she wasn't in a good mood he was at risk of getting his ass whooped.

Velvet thought back to the kitchen incident. Veneer had failed to keep her happy, she got violent with him. She was part of the problem.

"Mm. I'm sorry Ven." Velvet said softly.

"I'm just scared of getting beat up by everyone all the time."
Veneer said sadly.

"Hey, if it makes you feel any better I'm scared of getting raped by everyone all the time," Velvet said halfheartedly, going for a laugh.

Veneer did not laugh. He popped his head up instantly. Wait. What has she just said?

Veneer grabbed her as quickly as he could and clung to her shoulder, silently squeezing her as hard as he could.

Well shit. That was a horrible thing to add in so casually, of course that wouldn't make him feel any better. Why had she said that!? Bubblegum was betraying her! She was speaking way too freely.

She hugged Veneer back, wondering how she was going to backpedal this.

"I didn't protect you." Veneer spoke with much guilt.

"Hey, Ven that was not your place. I wasn't protecting myself. I wasn't letting you protect me." She assured. She patted him. "And I wasn't there to protect you either." She reminded.

"That scares me so much." Veneer whispered out, squeezing her tighter.

"I know." Velvet agreed. She wanted to say, "me too," but she bit her tongue. She wanted to be Veneer's favorite person and best friend. She wanted him to need her. She wanted to make him need her. Maybe leaving space for him to feel like he needed her more than she needed him would make him more dependent on her.

"But hey. We're out now. We did some pretty stupid stuff, we had bad shit happen to us. But we're out and we're together." Velvet said, still thinking, "And we won't let them separate us again." She concluded.

Maybe making a common enemy for them to both fear would bring Veneer closer. Whoever this imaginary "them" was, "they" would not separate the twins.

"I won't let anyone lay a hand on you. Not even me. Nobody gets to get violent with you." Velvet promised.

"And nobody creepy is allowed within five hundred yards of you," Veneer huffed protectively, a sniffle in his voice, louder than he had been speaking.

Good, things were falling into place. Velvet didn't need to control Veneer and keep him by her side with being rough and shouting, she would simply allow him to realize how dangerous the world was. And he needed her.

Wow, bubblegum was great. She was really smart. Maybe she didn't need to feel so guilty about taking painkillers if it was for the greater good of the people she cared about.
•••

Chapter Text

Today was the day of the Party.

Velvet thrummed her fingers against the steering wheel. She had on her perfect birthday outfit. She had her makeup finished already, and she had hair up in a high ponytail. All just the way she wanted.

Even her new bangs were perfectly curled, courtesy of Veneer. He had been a bit nervous the night before when Velvet asked him to cut her hair on a whim. And the night before a big day!

Relief was felt from both parties the moment Velvet had looked in the mirror, and couldn't help but smile a little.

Mm, things would go well. Things would go exactly as planned. They were already.

Velvet just had to pick up Orchid and bring her back home for the celebration.

Her house was already swarming with things going on. The morning was off to a busy start.
Trolls had poured in the door, Veneer was bumping music and darting around in excitement. Ritz had set the smoke detectors off in the kitchen trying to prepare food for the party.

Velvet glanced down the street as she approached her girlfriend's house.

She parked in the driveway, and her phone chimed with a Life360 alert that she had arrived at "babygirl central", a location name she had created for Orchid's house not knowing everyone else would see. She smiled a little. But now Orchid knew she was there.

She had to go inside at some point. She had been debating all morning whether or not she should take something. Maybe just a little crumb of Oxy.

Was that wrong? Was it so wrong to make sure she was calm and well behaved and palatable for everyone on this special day?

Velvet hummed to herself. Before she could stop herself, her hand was reaching for the glove box. She was taking half a pill and rinsing it with a water bottle from the floor.

She locked the glovebox.

Just to ensure that she stayed happy and calm. Just in case. She felt a little guilty as she was getting out of the car, taking drugs right before she went to see her girlfriend. But it was just so things went smoothly. The just didn't want to get upset. Things would be fine, and that was a guarantee now.

At the instructions of Orchid's mom who was in the kitchen of the house, Velvet dashed up their stairs to Orchid's bedroom.

The door was open ajar. Velvet crept up and tapped her nails against the door. Orchid recognized that sound.

"Wait don't come in I'm not ready!" Orchid quickly blurted.

"Oh, sorry. I won't." Velvet said. She was surprised the first words out of Orchid's mouth weren't 'happy birthday'.

Orchid peeked her head out of the door. "Happy birthday my love- Your hair! You have bangs!" she said, a smile naturally overcoming her stressed face.

"Oh thank you baby," Velvet blushed a little. She couldn't help it. But something slightly suspicious was afoot. Now wasn't the time to get flustered.

"Wow... you look so cool," Orchid said dreamily. Orchid's hair was down. She had an unusually large bow tied on top her head, the ribbon linking down under the bottom of her head.
"Thanks," Velvet tried not to smile too big. She gestured to the door, expecting Orchid to open it.

"I'll be ready in one sec," Orchid disappeared again. Velvet had never not received an invitation into Orchid's room. Something was going on.

"Whatcha wearing?" Velvet asked, wasting no time in getting to the point.

"Ah- I'm not ready yet. I'll show you in a second." Orchid sounded frantic.

"Ok," Velvet said slowly. "Can I come in?" She asked.

"Um. I wanted to surprise you. I don't know- I'm like-" Orchid stopped.

Velvet made the executive decision to place a hand on the door. "Are you dressed?" She clarified.

"Yeah. I mean- wait-" Orchid pleaded.

"What's wrong baby?" Velvet tried. She was feeling very nice. Very calm. She could deal with any situation that were to come up. She felt very in control of herself.

"I don't know. I don't like- I just wanted to impress you. I dunno. Ag- I'm sorry. It's your birthday, I'm not trying to make it about me." Orchid spoke quickly like she was nervous.

"Oh. Baby, you already impress me. Is your outfit not coming together like you wanted? Can I come in and see?" Velvet tried. She could handle anything. Any emotions from another person. She was in control.

"I- I don't know. I'm sorry, I'm making it all about me." Orchid said. She sounded distraught.

Velvet pushed the door open. "Hi you," she spoke softly.

Orchid was wearing a dress! Velvet had never seen her wear a dress before. She looked very cute.

They looked at each other quietly.

Orchid folded her hands behind her back. She tried to smile convincingly.

"You look very cute," Velvet said appreciatively. She put a hand on her own cheek in admiration. "What's wrong with it?" Velvet wondered.

It was a party dress, similar to something Velvet would wear. Short with spaghetti straps, an orange dress with magenta stripes. In line with the party theme.

Orchid shrugged. Velvet studied her face. She seemed distant.

"Do you not like it?" Velvet tried.

Orchid shrugged. "I mean- it's not about me today." She turned to look in her mirror again. Velvet stood behind her.

"Just because it's my birthday doesn't mean you have to do things that make you feel gross. Do you not like the dress?" Velvet tried again. This was not what she had expected, Orchid had sent her a picture of her outfit a week ago and she remembered it being pink overalls with an orange turtleneck.

Orchid shrugged. Velvet put her hands on Orchid's shoulders.

Orchid made a face.
"I mean- this is matching the vibe right? We're going to the club after the party. I don't want you to think I look dumb." Orchid tried to explain herself.

Velvet felt bad. It was obvious Orchid was trying to impress her by dressing how she thought Velvet would want. She looked lovely of course, Velvet had never seen her girlfriend in a dress before. But she looked uncomfortable. Velvet didn't want that.

"I would never think that." Velvet said quietly.
"You look beautiful." She added, kissing Orchid on the shoulder. She stepped back a little.

"What happened to the overalls?" Velvet asked gently, sitting on Orchid's bed.
Orchid shrugged.

"I dunno. You guys are all wearing cooler stuff." She tried. Uh oh. Her voice didn't sound right. Her face didn't look right. She looked emotional.

But Velvet could handle that. She had her bubblegum. Everything was pink and bubbly now. She could handle anything.

"So you changed your outfit?" Velvet tried.

Orchid looked at Velvet with a sort of desperate look on her face.

"I just wanted to look cool for you. I feel silly. I'm sorry- it's ok. I can wear it just for today," Orchid spoke quickly.

Velvet shook her head. "I don't want you doing things that make you uncomfortable just for me." Velvet reasoned. "You know I wouldn't want that. I don't want to start a weird standard in our. Uhm. Our relationship where you do uncomfortable shit to make me happy. I want you to be comfortable and happy." Velvet said. She still felt shy around the idea of the two actually being in a relationship. Saying it out loud made her feel good, but different. She hoped Orchid wouldn't notice her hesitation.

"But what is everyone going to think if I show up in dumb baby clothes. Especially at the club. I've never been to a real club before." Orchid said, a jab at herself.

"Hey," Velvet stood back up, "Where did you get that idea? I love how you dress, you look plenty cool. You've got your own style and you're usually confident. That's admirable. What changed?" Velvet said. Orchid didn't answer, she starred at herself in the mirror.

Velvet went to her, sliding hands around her waist. "You look uncomfortable." Velvet noted.
Orchid scrunched up her face and slapped both hands over it before Velvet could see her cry.

Orchid didn't want to take the spotlight away. She didn't want the spotlight at all. She hated the spotlight. She thought she could pull this off. She thought she could wear something Velvet would think was cool and sexy for just a day.  Even if she didn't feel like herself, Velvet would think she was cool.

Velvet could handle this. She was calm. She was in charge. She knew what to do.

"Come here," Velvet whispered. She pulled Orchid around, facing her and held her tightly. "I'm here. No one's mad at you. You're ok. We have all the time we need to figure this out, ok?" Velvet spoke freely. She felt so intelligent. She felt so in charge. She felt like she could so easily connect to her emotions without getting angry or upset herself.

Orchid sniffed and cried a little, leaning into Velvet. She was embarrassed. She didn't know she was going to do this. She hadn't seen it coming at all. But the dress made her feel bad. She didn't want to wear it. She didn't want to look like this, she didn't want to feel like this.

Velvet didn't know why Orchid was crying over what she was wearing when she looked so good, but who was she to judge? She had cried over outfits plenty of times.

"Sorry. It's your day and I'm ruining it." Orchid squeaked out. She looked like she was trying to shove all the tears back into her face.

"You're not ruining anything," Velvet hushed her. "There's room for you any day. Don't worry about that." She made sure both arms were secure around Orchid. She realized it was easy to comfort someone when she just said exactly what she needed to hear when she was upset. That was the key. She felt so emotionally intelligent. She was on top of the world.

"Sorry. Thank you. I love you." Orchid tried her best to wrap it up. She could push through and be what she wanted to be for Velvet.

"It's ok. But you're going to feel like shit all night if you wear something that makes you feel bad. I know you want to impress me. I'm already impressed with you. You don't need to wear the dumb dress if it upsets you." Velvet said.

Orchid just rested against her.

"You know I'm not attracted to you because of what you're wearing, right?" Velvet said. "I love you for you. I love how funny you are, and how loving you are to me. I even love how different you are from me. That's special to me. You're perfect." Velvet said. "And beautiful. So beautiful. I don't want you to change into something you're not."

She really did mean that. She felt so free when she spoke. Any previous guilt she felt about taking drugs right before seeing Orchid dissipated. This was the key. She knew exactly what to do now that she could think.

Orchid sniffled, wiped her face and went back into the hug.  "Love you." She said quietly to Velvet.

She noticed Orchid wasn't coming up with a solution to the problem at all. Maybe that was Velvet's job right now.

"I know baby. Love you too. No matter what. Let's get you into something more comfy. Come on, where's your outfit you showed me last week?" Velvet stroked Orchid's back.

Orchid whimpered, holding Velvet tighter. "But it's so dumb." She pleaded.

"Ok, we need to get to the bottom of this right now. Why do you think it's dumb? You always wear what you want. It's never been a problem before, what's going on today?" Velvet said softly.

Orchid shrugged. "Veneer said overalls are only for farmers and babies." Orchid pouted out.

Velvet had to admit, she was surprised she wasn't furious. Normally she would jump on Veneer if he had ever done anything to cause such a problem.

But that wouldn't help.

"When did he say that? That doesn't sound like something he would say to you. " Velvet tried a little snicker. That made Orchid snicker too.

"Hah, I dunno. I guess like a week ago. He was on the phone with someone. I just- I didn't want to embarrass you guys but I had already thrifted the outfit." Orchid admitted sheepishly.

"Oh baby. He was just being catty. He talks like that to his friends when he's being snobby about other people. It had nothing to do with you, understand?" Velvet vowed.

"But what about the overalls? What if I look silly next to you guys?" Orchid was being very genuine. Vulnerable even. Velvet had to do this right. No room for mistakes.

"You won't. I want you by my side. YOU specifically, which means I want you to be yourself. Can you do that for me?" Velvet said sweetly. She was a little high. That was fine, the emotions were true and Orchid wouldn't know the difference.

Orchid pulled back and nodded. "I can do that." She said, folding her hands behind her back again. She offered a small smile.

"There's a good girl. Go get your party outfit." Velvet said, lifting her hands to hold Orchid's cheeks, and wiped tears away with her thumbs.

Orchid's face lit up with heat. "Ok." She agreed in a small voice. Velvet sat back on the bed and faced away as Orchid changed.

"If you still want to feel fancier than usual you can keep your hair down. If it makes you feel dressed up. I'll help you re-tie your bow." Velvet said. The bow was tied like someone who only knew how to tie shoelaces had done it.

"I guess I do kinda like my hair down. Just for a special day. You sure it looks ok like this?" Orchid asked cautiously.

"Are you uh- can I look? Are you dressed?" Velvet was trying to make sure Orchid was dressed before she looked over. She held up a hand to block her, just out of habit.

"Yeah it's ok." Orchid agreed casually. She understood that Velvet was very shy when it came to being undressed in front of anyone. But Orchid was much different. Even though she could be understanding, she didn't relate.

To her, wearing something that didn't make her feel like herself was much more embarrassing than simply being undressed.

Velvet guessed that living with just her mom, and a very good mom at that, had made Orchid more comfortable in her body and being in a state of undress. Orchid was even changing with the door open before she had arrived, Velvet remembered.

Velvet glanced over to assess her girlfriend's hair. The bow wasn't tied properly but that was an easy fix. She looked very cute with her hair down. Velvet took a second to realize Orchid was only wearing her orange party shirt and boxers, the overalls in hand.

Velvet felt her face get hot. Orchid was obviously not trying to insinuate anything. She was just getting dressed. Velvet couldn't help but accidentally, maybe, glance at the rest of her. She looked away.

"Keep it down. If you like. I mean I like it." Velvet said quickly. She was definitely caught. She could hear the shift in her own tone. Was it ok that she looked? She felt bad. Way less bad than she usually would. But it was still there.

Her girlfriend was just getting dressed, was it ok that she looked at her in that manner? She didn't mean to. She was just glancing over and it happened.

Orchid laughed. "You like me," she teased, narrowing her eyes. Clearly she felt better.

Velvet gawked. "That's not fair! I was trying to look at your hair I didn't know you weren't dressed yet!" Velvet stammered.

Orchid giggled, flapping her hands. "You like me," she teased in a sing song voice.

Velvet hadn't meant to look at her like that. And now she was caught. She didn't like being caught. She felt like she had done something bad. But she knew Orchid felt differently. She wanted so, so badly to talk about it.

The two hadn't talked in detail about it yet. Velvet knew she was emotionally attracted to Orchid, but it felt so taboo to admit she was physically attracted to her too.

Obviously she was supposed to be. And she supposed that Orchid was physically attracted to her too.

God, she couldn't even bring herself to mentally say 'sexually' instead of 'physically' even in her own head. It just felt so inappropriate. It felt like she was hurting Orchid.

"Sorry." Velvet said.

Orchid put a foot in her overalls. "Don't be sorry. I love you. It's no big deal." She stopped with her pant leg half up. "Unless- if seeing me naked makes you uncomfortable,-" Orchid started.

"No! No no, sorry oh my gosh. No. It's not that. I just don't want you to think I'm creeping on you." Velvet explained hastily. She pulled her ponytail over her shoulder and stroked it.

"Vellie-bell we're dating. I want you to creep on me!" Orchid insisted. Velvet made a face.

"Well- wait, bad choice of words." Orchid dropped the overalls and shook her hands dismissively. "I trust you, I like the idea of you seeing me. Unless that's not something you want. I know we don't talk about it ever but- I- I've thought about this a lot and I didn't know how to bring it up- ah sorry this is such weird timing." Orchid shook her head.

Velvet looked at her, her hand covering Orchid again. "Thought about what?" Velvet pressed. She had to know.

"Maybe we should talk about it later. It's your special day." Orchid reached for the overalls that had dropped to the floor.

"But we never talk about- stuff." Velvet felt terribly awkward when it came to the subject. She knew Orchid was talking about being intimate. It was uncomfortable and embarrassing and scary.

But if they were to talk about it... Velvet had her bubblegum. She was pink and bubbly. She was as ready as she could ever be.

"Yeah. I just don't want to upset you, so I never bring it up. But... I don't know what you um- need or want. I don't even know if you want anything at all. And I wanted to tell you for a long long time- I mean-" Orchid played with her hands, staring at Velvet from across the room.

Velvet gave her an encouraging nod. Even if she couldn't speak properly about how she felt, maybe Orchid could. And Velvet could cope with it, especially right now when she felt so good.

"I love you. If you're like- asexual I don't want you to feel like you have to-" Orchid twiddled her thumbs as Velvet cut her off with an unexpected reaction. She accidentally laughed.

"Asexual?" Velvet smiled in surprise. "What!" She mused. She didn't want to be insensitive to the seriousness of the conversation, but she couldn't help it.

Orchid looked confused, but smiled anyway. "Uh- sorry- did I read things wrong?" Orchid folded her hands again.

"Yeah kinda." Velvet nodded. "I'm definitely not asexual. No." Velvet assured.

"Oh." Orchid said in thought. "Ok. Well- I mean is this a bad time to talk? This is a bad time. We should talk about it later," Orchid said again.

Velvet knew she was just being polite. She wanted to talk, and so did Velvet. Maybe this was a weird time, but now they both wanted to talk about it. Funny how things fell into place like that.

"I want to talk." Velvet said.

"Me too." Orchid agreed.

"So let's talk." Velvet prodded.

"I- ah now I feel weird!" Orchid blushed, covering her face for a second and shaking her head.

Velvet felt weird too. Safe weird. That was different. She felt in control of herself and the situation.

"It's ok. I feel weird too." Velvet encouraged.

"Ok. So. Ah- now I'm- I lost my train of thought." Orchid was clearly embarrassed but it didn't seem to be in a bad way. Velvet also couldn't ignore that Orchid was still only wearing boxers and a shirt.

"It's ok. So... you're ok with me seeing you?" Velvet tried. She had never perused seeing Orchid in a state of undress before. She supposed she had seen her in a swimsuit many times, so underwear wasn't much different.

"Yeah! I'm ok if you are," Orchid seemed eager but shy.

Velvet lowered her hand. She looked Orchid up and down properly, then back up at her face. Velvet couldn't help but giggle, she was flustered. That was ok. Everything was ok.

Orchid giggled too.

"You look beautiful." Velvet said. Orchid snickered again. "Thank you," she gushed.

Oh, this felt good. Orchid just wanted to be seen and loved. She didn't want to hurt Velvet, she wanted to love her.

She slid her overalls on quickly. Velvet came over and buttoned them for her, feeling more confident now. "Perfect. My girl," Velvet cooed, reaching her hands up to fix Orchid's bow.

Orchid couldn't help but giggle. "So..." she inquired.  She wanted to know what Velvet thought of her. She didn't know how to ask.
Velvet didn't know what to say.

She shrugged. "I'm sorry. I'm not good at this. I love how you look. I wish I could say it better." She said, trying to sound confident through her vagueness.

"It's ok. I get the message. Love you," Orchid leaned her head against Velvet's chest.

"Wait don't mess up your hair!" Velvet scolded teasingly, hugging her back. Nobody could take this from them. Velvet was not in the spotlight, she did not have to be performative. She could be awkward and shy and try things out even if it wasn't perfect. There was no one here to judge her.

Not even herself when she was high.

•••

Velvet had to admit, she never in her life thought she would be around so many little trolls again.

Her apartment was alive with festivities. Veneer was gabbing and swishing all through the kitchen and living room, grabbing plates of food for folks,  giving out their WiFi password and mingling.

Velvet observed. The guest list consisted of Velvet and Veneer of course, Orchid and Ritz, Floyd, Poppy and Viva, a blue troll called Branch and a little pink troll with orange dreads. Apparently she was called Suki. She was there to play music for the party.

Velvet didn't remember meeting her previous to tonight. It seemed like each time the trolls came there was another addition. Velvet noted to herself that maybe when she wasn't looking, they were undergoing mitosis.

Orchid sat next to Velvet at the kitchen bar, which had turned into an actual bar for the night. Ritz was making drinks, using a dropper to pour tiny drinks into thimbles.

There were so many overlapping conversations. Velvet was glad. She was worried the party would be awkward, but it wasn't.

Veneer was messing with the tv, trying to set up the Wii.

"There's four spots open for just dance, grab your controllers," he called over his shoulder with excitement.

Velvet stood up. She guessed playing just dance was better than sitting in silence. Besides, she had all the dances memorized.

"Oh- wait- Velvet!" Poppy was swinging herself over. What could she want? Velvet turned to face her. Ok, she could do this, she could be polite. Poppy could be a bit nerve grating, Velvet had learned. She couldn't blow it now, she was behaving so well. Veneer needed to see how well she got along with his 'friends', he needed to see what a great person she was. Everyone needed to see.

"Viva and I wanted to give you our present now! We made you something and I totally think you'll want to wear it for tonight! Plus- eek! It goes with your outfit!"

"Really? What is it?" Velvet folded her hands over her knees and faced Poppy.

Viva was shyer around Rageons than the other trolls were, but evidently not shy enough to not interact. Viva had a wild tuft of sunshine yellow hair that both Veneer and Velvet had discussed wanting to take a comb to.

Her tuft of hair flopped along as Viva pushed a Rageon sized gift bag over to Velvet.

"Presenting to you, miss birthday Queen of the night, your very own sash!" Poppy kept and bounded around the bag waiting for Velvet to accept it.
"Oh thank you," Velvet said in her most polite voice, and took the gift bag off the ground with both hands. She pulled out the pink tissue paper and confetti hit her face.

Assault, she thought to herself.

"Surprise!" Poppy exploded around in excitement. Velvet brushed the glitter out of her eyes and nose and general face area as Veneer laughed behind a hand.

Velvet ignored the glitter all over herself and pulled a birthday sash from the bag. It was a weird texture. Bumpy almost. Velvet looked closely it was crocheted, but on a microscopic level. It looked like they had used embroidery thread to crochet with. It must have taken them so long.

It read "Birthday Girl," in letters that were cut win all different styles. And it did indeed go with her outfit.

"Oh" Velvet ran her fingers over it. It was custom made, just for her, with her party theme in mind. "This is really nice," she said, quieter now.

A gift just for her. Handmade, not bought. There was love in the stitches. Velvet dawned the sash.
"Thank you," Velvet said to Poppy, then looked to Viva who was still quite shy. "I love it," she said earnestly. Viva smiled a big smile and bounced around too, mirroring Poppy. Those two could easily pass as twins as well.

The rest of the night was a beautiful blur of laughter and just dance, drinks that were a bit too strong and finally the lights of the club.

Velvet danced the night away, switching between teaching Orchid how to dance in a club and dancing with Veneer.

Velvet even surprised herself when she caved in to the pleas of her friends to participate in karaoke.

Orchid picked dancing queen, of course she would. Velvet loved Abba. Velvet sang horribly on the "stage" of the club which was just a block of concrete with lights and one microphone stand. Veneer sang even louder, and even worse. Ritz didn't know the words and couldn't stop laughing.

Every Rageon knew dancing queen, the whole room sang. It was a sweet taste of that old life. But it felt sincere. 'Preforming' with the people she loved now. Having actual fun, it didn't matter that it wasn't perfect. She was the birthday girl and everyone loved her, the other girls in the club swarmed around her and Veneer, celebrating and treating them to free drinks.

"Do you know how long I've dreamed of this moment! This is the best day of my life," Orchid bawled, holding Velvet by the shoulders as the song ended. "I love you," She kissed Velvet as they were hopping off the stage, Velvet heard the club cheer and shout good wishes for her birthday.

Velvet wasn't even embarrassed, this is who she was. She was in love, and she was happy and loved to dance and sing. For herself. Just for the joy of it.
Velvet met eyes with Veneer and he gave her a look which embodied the ghost of their past. They were best friends again. He smiled at his sister, finally, without masking a look of concern or worry. There was that soul connection again, one that was only shared by siblings.

They danced the night away.

•••

Velvet woke up in her bed, still feeling drunk. Not even hungover, drunk! What a successful birthday.

She was wearing a large T-shirt and her face and eyes didn't feel itchy, she must have taken her makeup off. Score! No acne and no hangover.

Her bedroom door was open, and she could hear Orchid watching something on her phone and singing to herself. She must be drawing, she always did that when she was drawing.

Velvet was pleased. A successful night of partying that actually included her real friends this time, what more could she ask for?

Maybe taking a painkiller here and there wasn't such a horrible thing. Sure, she knew what people said: you won't be present in the moment if you're high.

Bullshit, she thought to herself, she was as present as ever. And she had just had arguably the best birthday ever.
She smiled wide and sighed in content as she opened her phone to sift through photos in hopes there would be a few good ones to post. She had to swipe through a dozen missed call notifications from whoever, assuming they were well wishes from family or friends. She could return calls later.

Orchid was unknowingly serenading Velvet from the other room. What a lovely morning. Well, it was noon now. What a lovely afternoon.

The front door absolutely flew open, the hinges having to hold the door tight as to not let it fly off completely.

Orchid stopped singing. Ritz Voice boomed and crackled through the living room. Velvet honed in. That was a very upset voice.

Before she could even process the fact that something might be wrong, Ritz blowed through her door in hysterics.

Velvet shot up out of bed.

"Why didn't you answer your phone!" He balled, his face red and teary, looking foreign to her. Ritz did not look like that. He looked like someone had died.

"What happened." Velvet demanded. Somehow she knew. She could read it off Ritz energy. She just knew.

"I've been trying to call you for an hour!" Ritz cried. "Veneer's been arrested!"
The party was over.

Chapter Text

    "What?" Velvet shook her head, shocked and unable to process what had just been said to her.

"Veneer's been arrested!" Ritz spoke again, and slid his hands up to his head. He swiped his beanie off. He shoved his face into it.

He burst, absolutely BURST into tears. Velvet was standing up out of the bed in half a second, and Orchid was running in, adding her own "what?"

Ritz did not cry, and he did not get angry. Who was this stranger, keeled over in pain and sadness? Ritz was a happy person, and always finding something to lighten the mood. How could he become this?

"I'll go get him. Where did he say he was at." Velvet spared no time in jumping to find a solution.

"He's not! He - your folks are getting him. He won't talk to me- what the fuck man," Ritz growled in frustration, "Your mom called me and I didn't even know- he didn't tell me! Your mom had to! They- they-" Ritz was trying to keep his voice from cracking but it was no use.

Orchid and Velvet seemingly had a psychic connection in which they both decided to try to put a hand on Ritz. He convulsed away from them, shrugging them off violently.

"Get off me! Fuck! Why aren't you upset? You get upset at everything else in the world, but not this?  Fucks wrong with you!" Ritz quickly turned his frustration onto Velvet.

Velvet was calm, a miracle. A bubblegum miracle.

"Aye that's not gunna help. Where is he now?" Velvet clarified.

"They said he could only call one person and he used it to call your freaking parents instead of us!" Ritz reiterated, facing his palms up and looking to the sky in misery. It looked like he was desperately trying to reason with god. Ritz believed in no god, who was this? And Ritz was certainly not desperate.

"You're not even angry? Jesus Christ, you're probably loving this- you're probably happy it's him and not you for once!" Ritz spat.

Velvet stared at him.

"You're so fucking selfish, you know that? He's probably- he's probably so scared..." Ritz's voice went from rage to worrisome in a second.

Ow. Velvet would be expecting an apology for this later. She kept her cool, taking a deep breath and prolonging eye contact with Ritz.

"I know. That sucks of him. But I need to go get to him. I will help him. Where is he?" Velvet clarified. She gave the room a visual sweep. There were her keys, wallet, and her pack of cigarettes.

"Your mom said THEY were getting him. They're probably taking him to their house- your parent's house," Ritz said into his hands.

"How could this happen? They won't tell me what he did! Fuck, man, what if it's something really bad?" Ritz squashed his hands against his face and rubbed, all his grievances rolling out in cries of utter disappointment.

He was grieving. Grieving the loss of the idea he had of who Veneer really was. Maybe he was a criminal after all. Maybe it wasn't just one mistake.

Orchid waited patiently until now, stepping closer to Ritz and patting his back again. He growled in sorrow, but didn't pull away this time.

"I don't know. I'm gunna figure it out. I'll get him and bring him home." Velvet declared, her tone serious and mind focused. She snatched a pair of pajama pants from the floor, then slipped on a pair of house slippers.

She knew just what to do.

This was her life's purpose, protecting Veneer. This is what she was made for. Her time was now. No, she wasn't happy to hear he had been arrested. She was devastated, but she knew what to do: find Veneer and make everything ok.

"I'm coming too." Ritz said, using his shirt as a napkin for his face. "Me too!" Orchid agreed with a nod.

Velvet didn't know how to approach this part of the situation. They could not come. Surely they knew it.

"...No," Velvet tried cautiously.

"Yes!" Ritz scoffed, surprised.

"I know you want to see him, we all do. Like- I need to get to him asap. I'm about to freak out. But if we pull up all together he's not going to be able to handle his whole family and all his friends seeing him at his literal lowest. He will flip his shit. He's already clearly embarrassed, he didn't even call you." Velvet reasoned.

Ritz shook his head. "Yeah. Whatever." He smashed his cap back into his head. "Fine. Whatever makes you happy, everything's always all about you." Ritz took another jab at her.

Orchid gave her a reassuring look.
"Go," She said in agreement. Velvet would fix this. Velvet had everything under control. That was her job. Now was her time to be a big sister. She was a full force battalion of one. She would be his hero. He would lean on her, he would need her and she would bring him home to safety.

She would be his best friend.

"I'll be back as soon as I can. Try texting him. If they picked him up already he probably got his phone back. Thank god they bailed him out before they put him in general population for the night. Things could be a lot worse than they are," Velvet tried one more time with Ritz. She knocked on the wooden frame of the door three times to not curse herself.

Ritz shrugged miserably. "I'll try. I don't think he'll answer. He hasn't answered yet." Ritz tried to snap out of it and speak reasonably.

Velvet spared no time. She was in the car, speeding down the red shimmery interstate. Down to the less shimmery, regular streets, the suburbs. Down to her old stomping grounds. She audibly sighed with relief when she saw her parents' house.

Velvet could skillfully make a thirty minute drive last all of fifteen minutes.

Their parent's car was there. Veneer was waiting for her. Without a thought she slammed the glove box open and popped half a pill. Just to ensure she was calm. Just to take the edge off.

She was bouncing up the stairs to the front door only to be met by her mother.

She had been watching her arrive.

"Hi Mama," Velvet said, stopping to present herself on the stairs.

Mom looked her up and down. Clearly she had been crying. She shook her head in disapproval.
"Pajamas? Oh honey, you couldn't even get dressed for this? Your brother needs us. Come on," her mom was burdened by her presence already.

Velvet was a pebble in her mother's shoe. Veneer was a prized show dog. A wounded animal in need of tending.

Velvet had bubblegum. Nothing could get her down.
"I'm sorry Mama, I just woke up. I wanted to be here with you guys as soon as I could," Velvet tried to hug her mom.

Mom cried on her shoulder for an uncomfortable amount  of time. This wasn't about either of them, it was about Veneer. She had to get to him. But mom came first. Always.
Mom was an unmovable road block, the detour to Veneer being the unavoidable consolation her mother demanded.

Velvet shivered uncomfortably as her mother backed off, letting the awful feeling of hot tears in her personal space roll off her shoulders.

Finally permitted inside, Velvet took one look at the living room and saw him.

Veneer. Sitting folded over with his head in his hands. A sigh of relief.

Velvet went to him. She sat next to him and embraced him, though he did not sit up. "Hey bro. Everything's ok." She assured.
Veneer did not answer her. He simply remained silent with his head in his hands, his short ponytail flopped in the wrong direction.

Mom sighed. "He's not well, Velvet Ann." Mom scolded. Scolded? Velvet had done nothing wrong.

Her Daddy entered the room. "Hi sweetheart," he said to Velvet.

"Hi daddy," Velvet said.

"It's good to see you. I wish it wasn't under these circumstances." He swept his brow with his hand.

There was silence. Velvet holding Veneer protectively, mom and dad standing watch.

"What happened...?" Velvet dared.

Mom signed, looking to dad. Dad seemed surprised. He didn't expect to have to explain.

"Uhm. Your brother was arrested this morning." Dad said.

Moron. Of course he was.

"Ok, but why?" Velvet asked meekly.

Mom started crying again.

Dad wiped his face again. "I guess it's my fault. I knew I should have added you both as authorized users on my credit card. That way you can both build credit, and you'll have enough money to-" Mom cut him off.

"It wouldn't have made any difference! Bangle bracelets? He doesn't need those to survive! Oh, Veneer, what were you thinking!" Mom howled, raising a hand to smack him in the wrist. Velvet was a cloak around him, moving quickly so the smack landed on her arm instead.

Mom shifted, crying out and dramatically throwing her arms around Veneer, Velvet scooting out of the way just in time.

Big sister duties complete. Protect Veneer from the bad, move away and be excluded for the good.
"Wait, what?" Velvet drew a blank.

Dad looked at her with pity. He rubbed the back of his neck.

"What happened?" Velvet asked again.

"Well... son, do you want to be the one to say?" Dad spoke directly to Veneer.

Veneer didn't answer. He didn't even react. He was comatose.

Velvet looked at her dad in confusion.

"Veneer was caught shoplifting." He said with regret.

"The shop owner said he's been caught twice! Twice! Veneer, this isn't like you! What would possess you to shoplift! Let alone in the same store you've already been caught at!" Mom made a scene.

That was news to Velvet. She had no knowledge of Veneer shoplifting. Twice now, apparently.

Velvet looked to veneer. She couldn't see his face at all. He hid from the world. He was in his own world now. A pocket dimension of protection, Veneer's cardigan land.

"This isn't you. This just isn't you honey." Mom whispered to him.

The room was silent except for Mom's cries.
Dad sighed. "Come on, son. Why don't you help me clean out the closet in your bedroom. I've uh, been meaning to use it for storage." Dad said. He was rescuing Veneer from this situation. Anything to free him from Mom's clutches.

Great. Now Velvet was alone with her. She expected to collect Veneer and leave. Now it seemed they would be spending the afternoon. Velvet made a face of distain before looking to her mother.

The door to Veneer's bedroom shut.

"It's all this crazy partying and night life business! He wasn't like this before you introduced him to it!" Ah. So that's why she was lured here.

This was all her fault. Mom wanted someone to blame.

Velvet accepted her fate of a tongue lashing. She sat stoically.

"It's that skanky store you two go to! The owner was nice enough to let him go the first time but twice?! You taught him to think like this- like everything in the world belongs to you two! You can just have anything you want all the time, can't you?"  Mom was amping herself up, her voice raising.

She was angry at Velvet. Velvet found it much easier to slip away into another part of her mind while she was high like this.  She too created a pocket dimension all for herself, Velvet's brain land.

•••

Veneer sat on his knees in front of the closet, thoughtlessly pulling stuffed animals and old clothes off the floor of the closet. Dad had a few boxes for Veneer to load the stuffed animals into.

"Remember this ol' guy?" Dad said, holding up a stuffed polar bear. Veneer did remember. He gave a nod to dad.

"What was his name? Powerful Micheal?" Dad teased Veneer.

Veneer couldn't help but snicker. He didn't feel like laughing, but dad always made him laugh.

"Fabulous Mike, Daddy." Veneer said quietly. Talking didn't feel right. Veneer felt disconnected from his own voice. He didn't deserve to talk.

"Oh, yes, of course, fabulous Mike," Dad switched to a cartoony voice, mimicking the voice Veneer used to give the bear, "Hey everybody, it's me, Fabulous Micheal!" He trotted the bear along the floor and over to Veneer's lap. Dad was trying his best to remedy a situation that couldn't be remedied.

Veneer giggled, pushing the toy away and onto the floor, "Mike, not Michael!" He laughed. He didn't deserve to laugh. He frowned, and his eyes stung. He buried his face into his hands and cried.

He didn't deserve to cry. He didn't deserve anything. He had done a bad, stupid thing. He had stolen. From a store he loved. From the owner, who had always been good to him. Who had been kind enough to let him go with a stern talking to when he had messed up before.

And yet, he did it again. Why? He didn't know. He didn't even like the bracelets, they just seemed easy to slip into his pocket. He needed to sneak something to feel successful.

Why couldn't he just stop taking things? He didn't need bangle bracelets to survive, mom was right.

"Come here son," Dad said, engulfing Veneer into a big bear hug.  He didn't deserve a hug. He almost wished they had left him in jail overnight.
He deserved the panic attack he had been having. He deserved the looming threat of being beat up again. He didn't deserve this.

He felt like a child with a scraped knee, weeping on dad's shoulder.

"You're ok. We'll sort everything out. Don't you worry buddy. Your mom already contacted your lawyer."

Veneer didn't want things to be sorted out, he didn't want to evade punishment. He deserved whatever was coming to him.

Veneer did not speak for the rest of the night.

•••

Velvet had been sitting on the couch for so long that she didn't realize mom had stopped her antics. She looked around the room. Empty. She heard shuffling and clattering in the kitchen. She stood, and walked over to the doorway. Mom was sighing loudly and putting things back into the fridge.

Veneer sat at the table next to a stack of boxes, presumably full of stuffed animals. Dad sat next to him on the computer with his glasses all the way on the edge of his nose, likely looking at legal fees.

Mom saw Velvet, and walked over to Veneer. She placed both arms around him, squeezing him tight. She looked at Velvet as if she were a predator. A mama bear protecting her cub.

Velvet wanted to be that cub more than anything in the world. She watched Veneer spoon some ice cream into his mouth.

Ice cream? She stepped closer. Mom had made Veneer a bowl of vanilla ice cream with chocolate sauce.

Veneer gets arrested and gets his own special sundae, made with love.

Velvet comes to the rescue ready to help, and gets a callous glare. She was not loved. She realized in this moment. Mom had one child, a son.

She felt something change inside her. She needed more bubblegum. She didn't want something to change inside her.

The drive back home was silent. Veneer wanted to just lay down in the back seat, but he didn't deserve comfort. He pulled the hood of the cardigan over his head and sat with his knees against his chest. He faced completely away, too ashamed to face towards his sister.

He was supposed to be better behaved than she was. He had messed up all on his own this time.
He was no better than her. And if he was no better than she was, maybe they were both just bad.

Velvet opened the glove box at a red light as a test. Veneer didn't look up from his knees. Velvet took half a pill in her hand, the put it back in the ziplock bag. She fished out a whole pill, swallowing it dry. Veneer didn't budge. She closed the bag back into the glove box. He was none the wiser.

In cardigan land, the glove box being opened at a red light didn't even register.

The drive was silent except for the rain. Velvet thought it distasteful to even play music. She didn't even collect their morning (well, afternoon now) coffee the way she usually would. She let the silence rest.

They pulled through the apartment complex, and into the parking lot. Veneer didn't budge. Time for Velvet to say something.

"I love you," she whispered to him. He didn't deserve love. Inside cardigan land hot tears were suffocating him. He didn't deserve to say it back, he deserved for his sister to become angry.

Velvet didn't know why she felt like crying now. Bubblegum made her anger dissipate, sure, but it also made room for her true emotions. It didn't feel bad this way. Sadness felt natural. Her brain felt too nice for anger, and sadness felt too good.

She decided it would be ok to cry, veneer wouldn't see. Then again, she couldn't see his face but she knew he was crying.

A shared moment of defeat. Veneer had lost his dignity and Velvet had momentarily lost her connection with her twin. She sniffled, and it felt good. Crying without anger was so refreshing.

"Let's go inside." She said. Veneer didn't budge.
Velvet sat in the silence. He was a statue, of course he couldn't move. His bones were stone. "I'll leave the AC on." She decided he needed time to wallow. She left the car, each step away from Veneer more painful than the last. Her feet felt like led.

She needed to leave him, everything was coming out of him. She could not dam up the river, Mother Nature was taking its course. Who was she to interfere.

Was Veneer really some kind of klepto? She had never noticed him taking things from her or anyone else for that matter. Why would he do this? Clearly it wasn't planned. Veneer was no thief. Was he?

Velvet realized she was starring at the keys in her hand, hovering in front of the door. Her phone chimed with the Life360 notification, alerting everyone that she was home.

The door opened in front of her face, it was Ritz. He looked at her and saw she was without Veneer, he looked at her face and his own crumpled.

She could only point to the car. Ritz dashed past her, not before putting both hands on her shoulders as some sort of thank you. She supposed he was just grasping at straws, looking for connection wherever he could find it. She was a sort of family member to him at this point, she supposed.

The squeeze on her shoulders felt reassuring. She could hear Ritz opening her car door in the lot below herself, and walked in through the door. Orchid was standing by the couch expectingly, she hadn't been drawing or snacking or anything she normally did, she had been waiting. Waiting for Velvet.

Velvet didn't even have time to make a connection by looking at her girlfriend's face, she was swarming her and in her arms in a second. Orchid was not distraught, she was stable and calm, patient as ever.

Velvet didn't even realize how she balled onto Orchid's shoulder until she was collapsing in her arms, nearly hitting the floor.

"I know baby," Orchid said. She knew, she knew Velvet felt horrible and was ready to make space for that. She had plenty of room to shoulder some of the weight. The two melted into the couch.

Velvet buried her face into Orchid's lap and cried, it offered so much relief. Where should she even start? 'This is all my fault'? 'I was so scared for him'?

Orchid stroked Velvet's back.

"I want my mom," Velvet cried. Was that true? What the hell was she saying, Velvet did not need that woman, she was the soul reason for all of her troubles, all of her quirks and inability to connect. She was sure of it.

"Oh baby," Orchid soothed her. She was in too much of a high to feel guilty or uncomfortable for saying such a thing. Maybe it was true. "I know you do. I'm so sorry. I'm here," she reminded Velvet. Her grip tightened.

Velvet coughed once and wiped her face on her sleeve, returning to the lap. "It's not fair! I want my mom," she bawled again. It was true, she wanted an ice cream Sunday, she wanted to be cried over, fawned over, she wanted it all. She wanted what Veneer had, no matter how bad and undesirable it truly was.

Some deep part of her was seeping out, thanks to bubblegum. It loosened her up, make her think with true emotion instead of anger.

She realized she was spiraling, not into that familiar pit of anger, but somewhere new. Somewhere blue and cozy and sad. She was very sad.

"I think I need to scream," she said, panic setting in a little. It was building up inside her, she didn't want to frighten Orchid, she didn't want to frighten herself but she needed to mourn. She had unlocked a new feeling that had been encased in her for a long, long time.

Orchid strategically picked up throw pillow from the couch and placed it on her lap. Velvet buried her face in it frantically and screamed.
She felt Orchid jump a little, then straight back to consoling her. Arms around her as she howled, and as she cried.

It was an embarrassing, guttural scream. The cry an animal would make. The cry a person makes when there is only pain, a sound one makes when there is loss of language.

For pain knows no language, it is no object. It transcends language, reverting her back to whatever Rageons were without language.

Orchid held her, not frightened or put off in any way, but understanding. There was no language for this situation, just action.

Veneer darted through the front door, hood over his head and tossed the car keys onto the front counter. He ran to his room like a scorned child, Ritz close behind.

Ritz would tend to Veneer, and Orchid to Velvet.

Velvet wanted nothing more than to be enough to help Veneer, to have enough to give, but she could not give him what she had not. She could not share this with him, they must separate.

Velvet smooshed her new bangs back down against her forehead where they belonged. If she was going to cry, she should at least look pretty while doing so.

•••

Velvet sat at her vanity writing in her journal, her stomach full of Texas toast and blueberries that Orchid had fed her. Bubblegum made it easy to write, the words melted out of her and onto the page. She had never realized before how much she needed a real mom. Veneer had not spoken to her all day, it was late in the evening now.

Orchid rested in Velvet's bed, drawing on her tablet again. Velvet was glad Orchid didn't suck up the emotions of those around her like she herself did. Orchid was able to be around sad people without becoming like them. She loved Orchid for that, and envied it. There was a definitive difference between the two of them. Velvet knew that. They were wired differently. She supposed that's why they got along well.

Velvet wondered how long it would be before Veneer spoke. He had surrendered his phone to the kitchen counter with his keys. He did not deserve contact with anyone. He deserved solitude.

She had sent him many texts letting him know everything would be ok. Their lawyer would call tomorrow, everything would work out. He was safe now. All unanswered, not even viewed.

Velvet chewed the eraser of her pencil, her journal entry was finished. She looked at Orchid. Orchid gave Velvet a smile and blew her a kiss. What would she do without her. She was stronger with her.

A sound came from the door. Something papery. Velvet whipped around and looked to see a note slipping under the door, followed by the sound of socked feet skittering away.

Veneer. Velvet was by the note in an instant, snatching it up. Obviously it was from Veneer, this was their ancient strategy of communication, a note under the door. Before the age of cell phones, when the two had been banished to separate bedrooms as children, pen and paper was their messenger.

She looked at Orchid who leaned far off the bed to read the note with her.

"sorry for embarrassing you."

Chapter Text

Velvet knew she was using Kiko. But in all honesty, Kiko was too lonely and too high to notice. She was just happy when Velvet made the drive to come around and hang out for a few hours.

Kiko had a good plug for Oxy, (her bubblegum) and Velvet discovered if she hung around long enough she could get a few pills for free. Typically they were fifteen to twenty dollars each, which was on the cheaper side, but still putting a dent in her checking account. She did not want to go as far as to move anything out of savings.

A few freebies here and there never hurt anything. And Velvet had fun with Kiko. Kiko loved to paint.

The shabby house Kiko was staying at had people coming and going all the time, spending the night or spending a few months. It was the perfect environment for Kiko to have her art gallery in the dining room with no one batting an eye.

Plus everyone was too high to be concerned with cleanliness.

There was not a lot of furniture in the house. But there was a couch in said dining room for some reason.

Velvet acknowledged it was closer to a trap house than anything, but it's not like drugs were actively being made there or anything. It wasn't so bad. It was just young people hanging out, so what if there were a few drugs here and there? Velvet sure didn't mind.

She sat on the floor next to Kiko, indulging in painting her own canvas she'd been granted. She painted Orchid in three different poses with acrylic paint.

"Ohh, whos that?" Kiko peered over Velvet's shoulder. She was currently testing her limits with mixing Xanax with Oxy, and it was making her sleepier than expected.

"It's not anyone in particular. It's just a mockup for a dress I'm designing." Velvet lied. Lots of things she said to Kiko were lies.

"Looks cool," Kiko said, her head nodding slowly as she tried to stay awake. It made Velvet a little nervous when Kiko couldn't keep awake. Then again, she had been up for two days at this point.

"Uh- Maybe you should lie down girl," Velvet suggested.

"Hm? Oh, yeah it's probably late..." Kiko said, opening her eyes and searching around for her phone. Velvet realized it had been hours since she had checked her phone.

She found it under her canvas, an alarm silently going off for the past hour. Velvet gasped.

"Oh my gosh, it's morning!" She hopped up, feeling woozy in an uncomfortable way. It was 7am, she didn't mean to stay up all night. She didn't even realize the time had passed.

She felt sweaty and clammy. Wide awake and really tired.

She hadn't even meant to spend the night at all, she was due back home at midnight. Guilt struck her stomach, she was supposed to be home for a reason.

Aside from spending the night with Orchid who was waiting at her house, dance season was beginning this morning.

Every season, her dance team held re-auditions where she had to preform in order to be reinvented back to work with them for another year. Today was that day.

Technically, Velvet was a student at the college the team was hosted through. But she was only in it for the dance team and the independent jobs that gave her access to. She could not be late, she had about an hour to get there before she would be terminated automatically.

"I gotta go! Ohmygosh, I gotta go," she stuffed her new bag of pills into her purse and dizzily ran through the house to the front door. She was so tired, why hadn't she slept? What was wrong with her? She knew she had tryouts, how could she forget?

"Wha huh?" Kiko said no louder than a whisper as she laid down on the floor. She used a balled up plastic grocery bag as a pillow.

Something seemed a little more wrong with her than usual. Velvet gave Kiko one last look before leaving for good.

Ah shoot. Her car wasn't there. She had left it and ubered instead just on the off chance Veneer decided not to call out of work.
She called an Uber as fast as she could, begging the driver to "please hurry."

•••

"Floyd, I'm sorry, but I warned you about them." Branch said to Floyd as the walked through the woods. They were making the journey to the edge of the forest to where the main roads were, where bigger creatures roamed.

"I. I don't know what to think." Floyd admitted. He had received a messenger bug that morning, surprisingly from Ritz, that Veneer needed help ASAP. He'd been arrested and quickly bailed out, and was apparently taking it horribly. Horribly.

His partner Ritz was at a loss and needed help from someone trusted and much wiser than he himself was. Besides, Velvet had gone off with her other friends in Veneer's time of need. Ritz needed help. He was coming to collect Floyd right away.

Branch, of course, was coming to accompany Floyd again. He just couldn't let him go alone after hearing Veneer had made such a bad decision. Branch didn't know why he'd been arrested, it could be troll related again. He didn't even want to think of that. He really did hope the twins weren't like that, but he didn't know. It was Floyd who truly knew them after all.

Branch let out a deep sigh. No matter what awaited them, it wasn't going to be good. Floyd needed his support, it was time to stop laying into him so heavily about Veneer.

Ritz collected the two trolls from a pull-off on the side of the road in a Rageon sized uber, and they were on their way home. Floyd and Branch both let out an audible sigh when it was revealed Veneer's only crime was shoplifting.

Branch even laughed, he was surprised.
"Wow, that's nothing. I mean, that's not good, obviously, but I thought we were going to find out he was sucking down trolls again!" Branch threw his arms up in relief. Floyd gave him a look.

Ritz sighed. "I'm still really disappointed in him. I mean, people shoplift all the time. It's just the fact that he even tried something when he was on thin ice with the law already. He's got one charge against him, and we have no idea what's going to happen. They could add more." Ritz lamented.

Floyd patted Ritz on the leg. "We'll figure it out. We need to go about this as carefully as possible, first thing is getting him out of bed." Floyd decided.

The three nodded in agreement. "I mean, it's been two whole days. And he hasn't spoken a word. I'm really scared for him. I've never seen him like this. Mrs. Greene said that- oh um, that's their mom by the way- she said he had a whole episode in the county jail. Even the other inmates in holding were trying to calm him down. He is really really scared of being locked up again."

Floyd nodded again. "I know. Because of the. You know the fight? When he was in jail the first time?" The small troll tried to tiptoe around it in case it was sensitive.

"Yeah. I'm sure all he can think about is getting jumped again. It's all I can think about. I wish he would talk about it." Ritz played with his thumbs.

"It's really alarming that he hasn't gotten out of bed." Branch said, reflecting back on himself.

"I know," Ritz grimaced, "like he got up maybe three times to use the bathroom but then straight back to bed. He won't even look in my direction. I can only get him to eat dry cereal, and I only know he's eating it because I can hear him crunching from outside the room. Seriously I brought him a little bowl and had to sit it in front of him and leave for him to even eat it. Don't get me started on the water, he's been sipping off the same water bottle for days." Ritz smooshed his face into his hands.

"We'll get him up and talking. He's punishing himself." Floyd said. "He just needs to realize it's doing no good and it's hurting people around him too. Oh, what does Velvet say about all this? How's she taking it?" Floyd wondered.

"Probably losing her mind," Branch bet.

"Actually, she seemed to be taking it pretty well. Until she disappeared to her friend's house. She was supposed to come back last night but she didn't. She needs a lot more alone time than a normal person. Hah, don't tell her I said it like that." Ritz scoffed at himself a little.

"Orchid got so lonely waiting for Velvet she went home to her mom's house to work on her commissions. The apartment is never quiet and empty like this. It's freaky."

"We'll figure it out." Floyd promised.

•••

Velvet finally arrived at the studio where her team met up. She jogged in, out of breath, stopping once she was in the door and bending over to catch her breath. She sat her purse down on the floor.

She looked around at her colleagues. Wait a minute. Oh no, Velvet looked at what she was wearing, a light purple Juicy Couture track suit and sneakers. She had not brought her dance bag or clothes. Everyone else was wearing leggings and sports bras. Everyone else was nicely groomed, and Velvet was wearing yesterday's makeup.

"Shit." She said to herself.

"Glad you could finally join us V girlie," A voice called across the studio floor. It was the elected leader and coach of the team, a woman slightly older than Velvet herself.  Jubilee.

"Hi," she took a deep breath, "I'm sorry Jubilee, I totally got stuck in traffic," Velvet huffed. She tried to seem angry as if it weren't  her fault.

"Mm. Why didn't you sign in through your email? I sent out a QR code you all were supposed to scan and sign in under your re-audition number."  She crossed her arms and tapped her foot. Carelessness was not tolerated on the team, they were meant to be the elites.

But Velvet had been working with her for well over a year, she was more patient with her. Velvet was a strong link in their chain.

"I don't know." Velvet admitted, she was at a loss. She couldn't think up a lie quick enough. She was exhausted, and woozy from her lingering high. She felt dumb.

"Mhm. Come on, take a number, I'll pencil you in." Jubilee sighed. She felt her time had been disrespected. It was one thing to be late but it was obvious Velvet had forgotten.

"I hope this isn't your mindset going forward, I expect everyone to be on time." She scolded a little as she wrote Velvet's name on the queue.

"I know. It won't happen again," Velvet promised, suddenly feeling a little nauseous.

"Ugh, do you think I could use the restroom real quick?" She held up a hand.

"Mhm. Go change out." Jubilee agreed. Oh no.
"Oh. Uhm, this is what I'm wearing." Velvet tried. Jubilee gave her a look like she'd just spoke in tongues.

"You didn't bring your stuff?" She asked for clarification. Velvet was in some deep shit now. She had no clue what to do.

"Uh. I don't know." She admitted.

Jubilee gave her a proper look over. There was something wrong with her. Something was going on. Something was very wrong. Jubilee felt an eerie feeling wash over herself.

"Come have a conversation with me V girlie," Jubilee turned and said over her shoulder as she walked to the corner of the room.

Velvet's stomach sank. This was very very bad.

The arrived to the corner as the other girls tried not to look.

"Look me in the eyes," Jubilee said in a hushed tone. Velvet stood up straight and looked at her. She tried to look focused and ready to work. But she was neither.

"Wanna tell me what all," she gestured to all of Velvet, "this is?" She invited.

Velvet shrugged and shook her head, a confused look on her face.

"Are you sick?" Jubilee tried to give Velvet any salvation.

"Ah. No?" Velvet couldn't lie right now for whatever reason.

Jubilee drew closer. She starred into Velvet's eyes. Her pupils were huge. And she was none the wiser, but her blue irises shown a small glimmer of pink prickling through. Jubilee realized she was on drugs.

"Do you... have any explanation for yourself?" She asked Velvet. Jubilee was trying to give Velvet an out. She really liked her as a teammate. She did not like, nor could she believe, what she was seeing.

Velvet already knew it was over. She was caught. She could not defend herself. Her stomach sunk lower and her heart raced.

Jubilee lowered her voice a little more.
"Velvet." She addressed her by name, which she usually never did, "Do you need help?" She said in a more serious tone than she had ever used with the team. Velvet could only look at her in dismay, her guilty eyebrows tipping up.

"I..." Velvet played with her hands. What was help? She kind of wanted some help. She could use some help feeling less nauseous. "I'm ok." She said in a small voice. Jubilee sucked in air through her teeth, and shook her head. Velvet knew. She absolutely knew. Velvet was through.

She put an arm around Velvet's shoulders. "You understand we can't have this kind of stuff..." she tried to break it gently. Velvet's eyes already swam with tears.

"You can re-audition at mid-season." Jubilee encouraged. Velvet nodded, ready to leave, ready to disappear from the world. "Right. Sorry." She barely mustered. She allowed Jubilee to embrace her shoulders.

"I don't know what happened during off season, but you are a really valuable member of this team. We'll be waiting for you girl." She assured. Velvet sniffled and brushed her tears away with her fingertips. "Yup. Sorry." She choked out.

She ruined everything.

"Wait Velvet. I think you need help. My sister's a social worker, you know, she has resources for you-" Jubilee started.

"No- uh, I'm ok. Sorry. It's nothing crazy like that I'm just feeling off. It's ok. See you at mid season." Velvet nodded her head, needing out of this situation desperately. She stole a glance at the other girls, who looked at her with pity and concern.

"What's going on?" One of her casual friends said, walking over. She was instantly very worried for Velvet. She didn't care if she was her competition, something was deeply wrong here and Velvet was crying.

"I need to go. Sorry." Velvet said. She whisked over to her purse by the door and ran out. She ran down the street in the general direction of home as the clouds in her head cleared. The high was gone and nothing good was left.

She put both hands over her mouth as she slowed down, her purse ungracefully sliding off her shoulder and down to her elbow. Tears gushed out so furiously that they landed on her arms.

"Fuck!" She stomped her feet, "Fuck!" She cried. She wanted now more than ever to hurt herself. How could she let this happen? How could she be so irresponsible? This was her connection to so many opportunities and she just threw it away, all gone in an instant.

She was going to hurt herself. She knew there were cigarettes in her bag. She couldn't. She was too grown up for that. She was supposed to be doing better. She would undoubtedly be found out if she hurt herself. Plus she was in public.

She reached around in her bag for them, crying in surrender to the urge to just do it. Her hand found her phone first.

She called Orchid instead.

Orchid picked up. "Hi you!" Orchid said merrily. "Someone didn't come home last night when they were supposed to," Orchid scolded playfully.

Velvet was silent save for the small sounds she made when she was crying.

"Baby what's wrong?" Orchid picked up on the fact that she was upset.

"I got kicked off my dance teaaaam," Velvet wailed. This was not being very palatable of her. This wasn't very attractive.

"Oh, my baby! I'm so sorry," Orchid said gently. She really ached for her girl. "Where are you baby? You sound out of breath. I didn't see you take the car are you...?," Orchid asked.

"I dunno I'm by the dance studio, I don't even know, I'm like a street away, I don't know I don't know," Velvet cried.

"I'm on my way, that's right by our neighborhood. Stay where you are baby I'm coming to get you," Orchid promised.

Velvet cried at her.

"I know baby, I know, I'm coming to you right now," Orchid's line crunched and crackled as she put on her shoes and grabbed her mom's keys. She took a deep breath and amped herself up a little before shooting out of the house and to her mom's car.

She'd only had her license for a few weeks, and didn't like driving without her mom. But she was asleep now, after working night shift. This was Orchid's cross to carry.

Velvet could do nothing but cry into the phone. Her anger was back. That was uncomfortable. She needed to not be alone. She was angry at herself.

Orchid loyally pulled up ten minutes later on the side of the Road where Velvet was, using their shared location to find her girlfriend. Velvet waited for her to pull over, but she just stopped in the middle of the road.

"I can't parallel park!" Orchid said, smiling but a bit stressed. Velvet stoped crying to giggle. That dummy. Thank god for Orchid. She went to the car and got in.

"Can I hug you." Velvet found herself saying weakly. "Come here," Orchid was already pulling her into a hug. "I'm here. I'm so sorry." Orchid soothed. A car behind them beeped politely to remind her she was stopped in the middle of the road.

"Come on, let's go. You want to come back to my house or yours?" Orchid asked as she put the car in drive with a bit of struggle.

"Can you take me home?" Velvet sniffled. "I'm sorry. I'll buy you gas. I'm sorry." She shook her head in annoyance with herself.

"Hey, don't worry about it. Let's go home and we can get you a nice shower and snuggle up for some rest," Orchid chided. That sounded nice.

"But uh. Can I borrow some pants?" Orchid asked with a sheepish smile. Velvet looked to see she was wearing boxers as shorts. She laughed through the tears for a second.

"Yeah. I'm sorry I didn't meant I make you run out in underwear." Velvet scrubbed her eyes with her fingertips.

Velvet wanted to see her brother. Holy shit, Veneer! How could she forget he was in such a bad state, she hadn't even thought about how he had not left bed. Another wave of sadness washed over her. She was a bad big sister.

"Wait baby... can we stop and get some food? I need to feed Veneer. I forgot he was- doing that whole thing" Velvet said wearily.

"That's my girl," Orchid praised her. She liked to see Velvet caring for others. She just wished Velvet would put a little more effort into doing the same for her.

•••

Veneer hadn't really slept, despite the fact that he had only been in bed. He was too guilty. He didn't deserve sleep. Besides, the cat nap he had taken the day before had given him a nightmare.

His bedroom door opened. He stayed facing the wall.

"Dude. Veneer." Floyd spoke. Veneer was startled to hear his voice. He rolled over quickly. Jesus, he was suddenly aware of how terrible he and his room looked.

He stared at Floyd. Floyd stood on one crutch today, and used his hair to come to the bed quickly. Instinctively the two hugged, Floyd hopping up on Veneer's chest and wrapping his arms around his neck. Veneer placed a hand on his back.

Floyd clearly already knew what he'd done. "I'm sorry," Veneer pleaded for forgiveness, his voice horse from dehydration and not speaking for so long.

"I know buddy, it's ok," Floyd said quickly.

"I really messed up," Veneer's voice cracked. Partly from being thirsty and partly from emotions. He was suddenly very happy Floyd was there.

"I heard. I'm here to help." Floyd promised.

"I really really really messed up. I'm so sorry. I'm so so so so sorry," Veneer droned on and on.

"Take a deep breath. I'm disappointed that you messed up but I'm honestly so happy that it was as small as it was. It's time to move forward, whatever that looks like. You took a pause but it's time to take action. I'm going to help you." Floyd promised.  He couldn't believe how powerful the emotions running through him felt. He felt protective over Veneer as if it were his own little brother, comparable if it were Branch.

Speak of the devil, Branch entered the room.

Veneer sat up better and gave Floyd a gentle squeeze. "I'm so glad you're here. God, what am I doing? I need to get up, I need to shower- I - I'm really hungry," Veneer admitted.

"We need to get some food in you." Floyd agreed. He was so happy to hear Veneer's voice. He was so happy to hear him ask for food and help.

"Ok. First thing's first. You have got to drink some water." Floyd ordered. Veneer nodded. "Whatever you say. Thank you so much, I can't thank you enough. Seriously-" Veneer shook his head.

"It's alright man. Let's get Ritz to help you out. You don't seem very sturdy." Floyd was placed down on the bed and he put his hands up in a 'stay here' motion. Branch hopped up on the bed seeing Veneer in such a terrible condition.

"You don't look so good," Branch realized. He remembered that despite the fact that Veneer was a hundred times his size, he really was just a kid.

"That's why we're here." Floyd said to Branch. Now Branch understood better. He had never seen anyone look as depressed as himself years ago. He was surprised a Rageon could get like that.
Floyd swung himself off the bed and used his crutch to skitter out of the room.

Ritz popped in seconds later, looking curiously at Veneer.

"Hi,"  He said softly to Veneer.

"Mm," Veneer reached both arms out for a hug. Ritz dove into the hug, flopping into the bed. Branch flew about a foot in the air.

"Hey!" He said, scoffing a little, "Watch it," he teased.

"Oop- sorry I didn't see you!" Ritz scooped Branch up and put him on his feet. "Tends to happen around here," Branch joked as he dusted himself off. He saw himself out of the room after Floyd to give the two time alone.

"I'm sorry love," Veneer said meekly to Ritz. "It's ok! Everything's ok, I got you baby." He promised, kissing his temple.
"I'm so happy to hear your voice. I can't stand the quiet." He snuggled up against Veneer. "Mm," he hummed against Ritz.

"I missed you," Veneer admitted. Though they had not been separated, Veneer had built a wall between the two of them. Ritz had laid faithfully by Veneer's side through the nights and days he spend in the dark and quiet of the bedroom. He spoke to Veneer all through it, talking about different things and telling him about all the nice places he was going to take Veneer on dates when he was feeling better.

"I missed you so much it hurt. I love your voice." Ritz reiterated. "I love you." He snuggled their foreheads together.

"Oh, here. Please." Ritz handed Veneer the cold water bottle from the fridge. Finally feeling like he was able to snap out of it, Veneer took the drink and gulped it down.

"Ahh," he smacked his lips with satisfaction.

"You're so good," Ritz praised. Veneer blushed. It was only now that he realized he had been hurting everyone else as much as himself with the isolation.

"Sorry." He sheepishly said again.

"I know. I'm sorry too. Sorry I didn't know how to help you." He said, squeezing Veneer's hip.

"But you totally did. You went and got help. I don't know why I just. I think I just needed to see Floyd. He's like my first ever real friend. I think I just needed to see that he didn't hate me. That none of you hated me." Veneer nuzzled against Ritz.

"I could never hate you. I could never stop loving you." Ritz promised, putting a hand on Veneer's back to squeeze him.

"Promise?" Veneer squeaked out.

"Promise." Ritz said immediately without a second thought.

"Love you." Veneer buried his face against Ritz.

"Love you more." Ritz said. "Come on. I'll give you a shower." Ritz helped Veneer stand and gather some clean pajamas.

He had Veneer sit in the bath and took the shower head down to wash his hair and scrubbed his back.

Veneer took the liberty of shampooing his own hair, and Ritz washed it out for him. He let the bathroom door crack open in case anything happened, god forbid.
The two heard Velvet and Orchid arrive home, plastic bags crinkling in the kitchen and low voices chatting.

"Where's your conditioner," Ritz asked, looking through drawers.

"Right here? Next to the shampoo?" Veneer said, puzzled as to why Ritz was looking for it under the sink.

"What? This whole thing is conditioner? How?" Ritz took the bottle and lathered it into Veneer's hair.

Veneer giggled. "What do you mean how?" He mused.

"I didn't know you could just buy a whole bottle of it... thought it only came in those packets with my hair dye." Ritz admitted dumbly.

Veneer laughed out loud. What a beautiful sound. Ritz laughed too.
"Babe. That stuff is packed full of keratin. You can't be using that every time your hair will fall out dummy." Veneer sassed. Ritz laughed again, happy to hear that familiar teasing. Oops, You learn something new every day.

The two finished up and Ritz helped Veneer towel off his hair and got him into some very comfy pajamas.

Veneer pinned his hair up in a claw clip.

They left the bathroom to find Velvet setting up dinner plates and talking quietly to Floyd and Branch.

Orchid was opening a box of checkers.

"Hi sissy," Veneer peeped out, rubbing his foot against the back of his ankle.

"Ahh!" Velvet squealed with delight at the sound of Veneer's voice, and dropped the empty paper plate she was holding, dashing over to him and tackling him into a hug. All her previous feelings about being dropped from dance faded away as she remembered what she cared about most.

"Oh! Hi," Veneer said again as he laughed breathlessly.

"You're back!" Velvet found herself saying as she spun him around. "You're back you're back!"

"Ah! Put me down you beast," Veneer giggled, "I still feel kinda weak," he admitted.

"Oh shit. Sorry. Here sit." Velvet let him go and held his hands to seat him on the couch.

"Thanks... what'd ya get," Veneer asked weakly. He peered over to the kitchen island where bags sat. It smelled like... mashed potatoes and gravy. Mac and cheese and fried chicken.

"Southern cookin'. Thought you could use something to fill you up." She said. She quickly fixed him a plate of lashed potatoes and drizzled some gravy on, adding a big scoop of macaroni. She knew Veneer wouldn't eat fried chicken.

"Here bro." She said softly, handing him a spoon. "Thanks," Veneer whispered. He gave her an earnest look. She folded her hands under her chin and watched him take a bite.

"Never thought I'd be so happy to see you eat." She scoffed.

Ritz seated himself next to Veneer with his own plate. He looked around the room, watching Orchid bring plates over for herself and Velvet, Floyd and Branch on her shoulders holding one checker piece each with tiny portions of food.

"We should watch a movie." Ritz said. He felt warm. The house was alive again. It wasn't quiet anymore.

"Your pick," Orchid used her foot to push the remote over to Veneer.
"Tsh, you guys never like what I pick..." he warned, smiling and looking down.

"Who gives a fuck. You're alive again Jesus Christ. You pick bro," Velvet said with a mouthful of food. She was really emphasizing oh the nickname bro tonight.
Veneer gave her a half smile. He was alive again.
"Okayy but I'm not picking anything scary. I like cartoons." He said quietly.

"Pick whatever you want," Floyd piped up, using his hair to slide off Orchid's shoulder and onto the couch, "I've seen like no Rageon media anyway, I've been wanting to get into it more," he prompted with an approving nod.

"Nobody send him flying now," Branch warned a bit cautiously seeing how close Floyd was to the edge of the couch. Ritz laughed as he realized he was already jostling him a bit looking for his phone in the folds of the couch. "Sorry!" He chuckled.

Veneer clicked through the options on the tv. "Oh! Raggedy Ann and Andy!" Veneer gasped seeing it was available to stream. "Vel it's our movie!" He said delighted, and turned to the others, "We went as them for Halloween when we were kids even! Ah, I love this movie, remember sis?" He beamed.

Velvet nodded a bit cautiously, still giving him a smile. She did remember. The two had made the Halloween costumes themselves. With Mom's help of course. That was when they discovered their love for creating and sewing.

Velvet longed for that simpler time. They had been maybe six or seven. They had been so close.
She could not lose sight of what was important. Veneer was number one. Well, Orchid was also number one. They both were.

But she couldn't let something like her silly career, or lack therefore of, get in the way of being there for Veneer. She was starting to feel guilty for just abandoning everyone to go sneak drugs with Kiko.

"Oh- wait is this ok?" Veneer remembered the last time they had watched it as young teens, it had ended with Velvet crying, denying loudly that she was crying, and trotting off to her room.

"It makes her sad," Veneer said, looking left and right.

"It does not," Velvet denied again, eyebrows raised as she looked down at her food. "Put it on." She insisted.

"Aw baby," Orchid kissed her cheek as if she were already upset. "Stoooop," Velvet fussed, trying not to smile. "I'm fine. Play it." She said.

"Ok," Veneer smiled a thank you to her. Velvet smiled back. Then went back to eating. She was trying to distract herself. The movie did make her sad.

The movie started. Ritz kept glancing at everyone. He sighed thoughtfully. "Our family's back," he noted in a soft tone.

"Ew! corny, stop," Velvet groaned over Orchid's "Aww!"

Orchid set her food down and squeezed Velvet, then leaned way over to collect Veneer and Ritz into the hug, who all playfully protested and pretended to groan. Floyd laughed at Velvet, pointing at her and everything.

"You little freak," she huffed out, forcing her mouth into a straight line so she wouldn't smile and give in. Floyd hopped up onto her arm and hugged.

"Everyone get off me," Velvet barked, Ritz and Veneer giggling as she struggled out of the hug.

As predicted, the movie played through the late afternoon, and Velvet had to brush tears off her cheeks. Veneer moved right next to her and pulled an arm around her shoulders. She leaned her head on his shoulder.

Her Family was back.