Chapter Text
[The episode opens with an exterior shot of the Loud House. Cut to Lincoln and Jackson's room as Lincoln squirts sunblock onto his hand and applies it to his face, while Jackson is recording a video.]
Lincoln: [To the recording] "It's Saturday morning, and for the first time in forever, every single member of the Loud family is free. [Camera pans to his calendar.] To make the most of it, Mom and Dad are taking us on a boat trip around Lake Eddy, Royal Woods' personal Great Lake. It's gonna be awesome! [A drop of sunscreen lands on his eye.] GAH! Sunscreen in my eye!"
Jackson: "Ay, caramba." [Follows him] "Lincoln! Wait up!"
[Lincoln runs out of his room to the bathroom, rubbing his eye and whimpering, and Jackson follows. Lola then comes out of her room.]
Lola: "Lana! Where's your tire inflater? [Holds up a unicorn float.] My unicorn needs puffing."
Lana: [With a can of worms.] "On it! Let me just finish breakfast."
Lynn Sr: [From downstairs] "Has anyone seen my bait?"
[Lana winks at her twin before munching down another worm and running off to their room.]
Lola: [Disgusted] "Ew."
Lynn Sr: [Enters the hallway with a fishing pole as Lola walks away.] "Your ol' Dad's gonna get some fishing in before the season's over."
Rita: [Enters with her own fishing pole.] "We'll see who comes home with the better catch."
Lynn: "CANNONBALL!" [Charges forward, but her parents stop her.]
Lynn Sr: No cannonballs in the house, LJ."
Lynn: "Relax, I'm just practicing the yell. Next step, toughening up my butt cheeks for maximum splash."
[Lynn toughens her gluteus, bouncing past her parents and down the stairs. The parents look at each other before heading downstairs as well. Lori comes out of her room, talking to Bobby on her phone.]
Lori: "Don't worry, Boo-Boo Bear, [Lincoln comes out of the bathroom, with Jackson patting his head.] I packed an external charger so we can stay in constant contact."
[Luan steps out of her room with Mister Coconuts.]
Mr. Coconuts: "It's just a three-hour tour. I've taken longer trips to the little dummy's room."
Luna: [To Luan] "Dude, you're not bringing Mister Coconuts, are you?"
Luan: "Oh, lighten up, sissy. Do you expect me to do that?"
Luna: "Well, considering how attached you are to him..."
Mr. Coconuts: "Nah, wood and water don't mix. I may be a dummy, but I'm not stupid."
[Luna looks annoyed as the three head downstairs. Behind them, Lincoln is holding Lily.]
Lincoln: [Applies some sunscreen onto Lily's cheeks.] "Here you go, Lily." [Lily raspberries as she wipes some off and flings it right into her brother's eye.] "AAAH! My other eye!"
Lucy: "Hi, Lincoln, pass the sunscreen." [Lincoln, Jackson, and Lily yelp at her appearance as the sunscreen flies out of Lincoln's hand and Lucy catches it.] "Oh, only SPF 80. Never mind."
Lincoln: [Gets an idea] "Hey, want to help me hunt for Plessy, little sis?"
Lucy: "What?"
Lincoln: [Shows her the article on Plessy on his phone.] "The prehistoric reptile rumored to lurk at the bottom of Lake Eddy, named after Homer Plessy himself."
Lucy: [As they head downstairs] "Hmm, water dragon? I am so in."
[Lana comes out of her room with her inflater, laughing as she heads downstairs as well. Lisa also steps out of her room.]
Jackson: "Hey, Lise. You're into strange lifeforms. You should help Linc and Luce with this one."
Lisa: "Preposterous. I plan to study the lake's very real and very fascinating micro-climate with tropical conditions despite-" [Vanzilla's horn honks.]
Rita: [Offscreen] "You can lecture your siblings in the car, sweetie! Let's go!"
[Lisa looks around to find that she and Jackson are alone. Realizing this, she squeals, runs down the stairs with Jackson, out of the house, and into the van, with Jackson diving in wildly.]
Luan: "I hate it when you do that."
Jackson: "We were in a rush."
[Vanzilla then drives off.]
[At Lake Eddy, the Louds are on a boat wearing life jackets as Flip counts the money.]
Flip: "'Kay, you're all set." [The Louds cheer and wave goodbye as the boat starts off. He starts calling.] "Remember to be back in three hours or the rental fee doubles!" [Sniffs his money as he walks away.]
[On the boat, after their goodbyes, the family engages in different activities. Leni is taking selfies; Lori and Luna are relaxing on sunbeds, with the former looking at her phone; Lincoln shows Lucy his map and points to a potential sighting spot for Plessy, and Lucy looks through her binoculars; Lana is eating worms from a can; Lola is putting on her unicorn float; and Rita is putting a hook on a fishing rod, with Lily next to it reaching out. Lynn Senior is kneeling at the front of the boat, with Jackson watching from the helm as he drives the boat.]
Lynn Sr: "Ah, nothing like that fresh lake air, Jax-O. The gentle sound of the waves..."
[Suddenly, a sputtering sound occurs, and the engine starts steaming. He and Jackson look behind.]
Jackson: "What the devil was that?"
Leni: [Visibly blushing with embarrassment.] "Sorry! That was me!" [The rest of the family appears, looking at her.] "I only had yogurt for breakfast!"
[Lana walks in next to Leni.]
Jackson: "Which brand did you eat?"
Leni: "Uh... I think..."
Lana: "That wasn't you, Leni. It was the engine!" [Opens the engine to find it leaking and filled with junk.] "Yikes! This baby is leaking more than Lily's swim diaper!"
Jackson: "Is Flip trying to scam us again?"
Rita: "No worries. This boat can run on Loud power! Everyone grab an oar!"
Leni: [Grunts as she tries to grab an "oar" from a wall.] "Why can't I pick it up?!"
Lola: [Notices something] "'Cause it's painted on! Dang it, Flip! He is trying to scam us again!"
Lynn Sr: "Hmm. Maybe, there's something else we can paddle with." [Lincoln opens some compartments, but the first one only has books and 'Meat Molars', and the second one is practically empty.]
Jackson: "I probably should've brought a flare gun with us in case of emergencies."
Luan: "Why didn't you?"
Jackson: "I thought Flip was just giving us a cheap boat, not a boat with oars painted on it." [The only other thing Lynn Senior can find is a prosthetic leg, when suddenly, Lily tries to get his attention, pointing at something with her pacifier, but he doesn't take her seriously due to her babbling.] "Aw, that's cute, honey, but we can't use your pacifier to pad-" [Jackson pokes him] "What?" [Jackson's eyes are widened]
Jackson: [Points to something up ahead] "I think our problem with the boat is now the least of our worries."
Lynn Sr: "What do you mean?" [Sees what Lily and Jackson are pointing at and screams.] "Whirlpool!"
[Dramatic music plays as a whirlpool swirls in front of them. The whole family gasps, and Rita runs to the helm.]
Jackson: "We're gonna get sucked in!"
Lynn Sr: "Rita, do something!"
Rita: "I'm trying."
[But it's no use. The family can only scream as they are dragged into the whirlpool. They cling to the boat for their lives, including Rita, who gets smacked by a starfish. The screaming continues as the whirlpool takes them under the water.]
[Sometime later, Rita washes up on a shore. Lily, safely riding on her mom's back, wakes her up by pulling her head.]
Rita: [Dazed at first, but she quickly snaps out of it.] "Is everyone okay?!"
[Lily happily points towards the water.]
Lynn Sr: [Offscreen] "Don't worry, honey!" [He is in the water and has the rest of the kids on rafts.] "I got 'em."
[Everyone gets up.]
Jackson: "I thought this was a lake, not the ocean."
Lincoln: "Actually, that's what makes Lake Eddy unique. It tends to act like the ocean."
Lori: [Horrified] "Gah! My phone!"
[The water seems to have short-circuited Lori's phone. Lynn Senior and Rita check their phones, only to see that they have the same results, while Jackson checks his pockets.]
Rita: "Ours too!"
Jackson: [Groans] "And I left mine in Vanzilla!"
Lincoln: "How are we gonna call for help?"
Lynn Sr: "Maybe, we can borrow a phone from someone on this island."
Luna: "I don't know, Pops. This place looks pretty deserted."
Leni: "Oh, goody, I'm starving!"
Luan: "No, Leni, deserted means there's no one else here."
[The island is indeed deserted and not that big.]
Jackson: "Actually, I think this island is uncharted."
Lynn: "That's worse! It means we don't know what to do here!"
Lucy: [She and Lana stare at the mountain] "And I've got a bad feeling about that mountain."
Lana: "Yeah, how do we know it's not a volcano that's been sealed up?"
Lola: [Worried] "We're all alone? With no food? No water? No TV?! AAH! WE'RE DOOMED! WE'RE GONNA DIE!"
[The other Loud kids all think they're doomed.]
Rita: "Whoa, guys, let's not fall apart."
Lynn Sr: "Your mother's right. Look, gang, I know we're in a bit of a pickle."
Rita: "But that doesn't mean we're gonna give up. We're Louds, and Louds never quit."
Lynn: "Mom and Dad are right. We're not a bunch of quitters!"
Lynn Sr: "Exactly! Now, let's put our heads together and think about how to get off this island."
Lisa: "Well, there's always the coast guard. They make regular patrols of the lake this time of year."
Rita: "Okay. We'll just build a distress signal so the coast guard spots us."
Lynn Sr: "And use our Loud family survival skills to get by until then. Woo-hoo!"
Jackson: [Puts his hand in] "Bring it in, guys." [Everyone stacks their hands] "'Louds never quit' on 3."
Lynn Sr: "1, 2, 3!"
Everyone: [Chanting] "Louds never quit!"
[Later, Rita and Lana are at a clearing.]
Lana: "What say we start building our camp here?" [Sweeping the sand] "Looks nice and level."
Rita: "Great. Now, how are we gonna chop down some palm trees for wood?"
Lana: "Maybe, we could sharpen a rock or a..."
Lynn: [Behind them] "CANNONBALL!" [Lynn charges and knocks down a whole tree with her gluteus.] "Those butt exercises are really paying off." [Walks off] "Just gotta watch out for splinters, you know?"
[Rita and Lana give each other a thumbs up. Meanwhile, Lynn Senior and Lisa are in a particular group of trees surrounded by fruits.]
Lisa: [Intrigued] "Hm, fascinating. The island's microclimate has yielded an abundance of tropical fruits."
Lynn Sr: [Picks a papaya] "And all organic. Check out this papaya, it'd be like twenty bucks at the farmer's market."
Lisa: "Mango."
Lynn Sr: "Honey, I think I know the difference between-" [Suddenly, a mango falls on his head.] "Oh, that mango."
[Meanwhile, Luna is on the shoreline, pouring stuff on the ground from a huge leaf.]
Luna: "Phew. Distress signal done." [Luna has made a makeshift SOS signal. She looks over at her roommate with a displeased look.] "Thanks for all your help, dude."
[Luan is busy building something else.]
Luan: "Sorry, sissy, but I was busy making Mister Coconuts II." [Shows a puppet that she made using actual coconuts and other materials]
Mr. Coconuts II: "Greetings! I'm Mister Coconuts II! Now made from the real thing."
[Luan smiles sheepishly, but Luna is unamused.]
Luna: "What am I gonna do with you?"
Luan: [Hurt] "What's that supposed to mean?"
[Nearby from them, Leni, now wearing a rope belt, has finished her fourth hammock that she made from grass, with the other three next to her, and Lily is teething on a piece of grass while in a makeshift crate. To the right, Lynn, Lana, and Rita are building the shelter.]
Leni: "There. Now, I've made four hammocks and a belt to match. How's your bed coming, Lola?"
[Lola is in her makeshift princess bed and enjoying the relaxation.]
Lola: [Sighs] "Fit for a princess."
[Elsewhere, Lincoln, Jackson, Lucy, and Lori are walking along.]
Lincoln: "Okay. So, survival expert Rip Hardcore says you should look for animal tracks to lead you to fresh water."
Lori: "Oh, cute. So, like, little bird prints or squirrel feet or- [Notices something] Ew, what kind of animal made those?" [Points to a trail of footprints.]
Jackson: [Studying them] "Three claws and a carpal fin..."
[Lincoln looks to see the footprints lead to a cave, meaning probably one thing for him and Lucy.]
Lincoln & Lucy: "Plessy!" [Both head straight for the cave.]
Lori: "Who what?" [Follows them]
[The three siblings and their housemate enter the cave, with a small lake in front of them.]
Lincoln: "She's a prehistoric marine reptile! I knew she was real!" [Sees that it's only a big turtle with a leaf on its shell and is disappointed.]
Jackson: "Or it's really just a turtle with a leaf stuck to its tail."
Lori: "On the upside, we found water."
[Lincoln and Lucy groan in response.]
[It is now nighttime. Lincoln is relaxing in one of Leni's hammocks, Lily is playing on some shells and starfish like drums, Lucy is walking out of the hut, Luna is playing her makeshift guitar, and the twins are in makeshift recliners watching "TV", which is just Luan performing with Mister Coconuts II. Lori, Leni, and Lisa are eating some parfaits Lynn Senior made from the fruit he found earlier, while Jackson is watching the horizon.]
Leni: "Dad, these parfaits are amazing."
Lynn Sr: "Thanks, sweetie. It's that fresh island produce." [Rubs his head] "Just gotta keep an eye out for it."
Rita: [Happily] "I am so proud of you kids. You didn't quit, and look at us now!"
Lynn Sr: "Yep, we got a sweet camp, first-class entertainment, and plenty of chow while we wait for the coast guard."
Lynn: "Whoo! Louds never quit!"
Lola: [Clears her throat] "Could you keep it down? We're watching TV."
[Said TV is Luan, now juggling Mister Coconuts II and two other coconuts. Lucy approaches Jackson.]
Lucy: "Are you okay?"
Jackson: "I don't know. I thought... my time in Great Lakes City would let me have a break from trouble."
Lucy: "I'd say that it did."
Jackson: "And yet... here we are. To think, the problems I faced in GLC were... tame in comparison. Now, I'm back home, only to get stranded on an uncharted island in the middle of Royal Woods' personal Great Lake."
Lucy: "It's not like it's your fault that we got stranded here. Nature's bigger than the humans and animals that roam the planet. We'll get back to the Loud House."
Jackson: "Let's hope so." [Lies down and sleeps]
[The next morning, Lynn Senior and Lincoln are sleeping in their hammocks outside when a lizard appears. It skitters up Lincoln's leg and licks his face.]
Lincoln: [Still asleep; giggles] "Charles, that tickles." [Wakes up and freaks out upon noticing the lizard.] "AH! NOT CHARLES!" [Falls out of his hammock. Getting up, he looks over and sees a bunch of animals eating the food.] "Hey! That's our food! Shoo!"
[The noise wakes up Lynn Senior. He screams when he sees the animals.]
Lynn Sr: "Get out of there!"
[The girls come out of the hut, and they all chase the animals off. Over at the beach, Jackson also wakes up after hearing the commotion.]
Lincoln: "I said get out of there!"
Jackson: [Approaches the Louds] "What in the world?"
[The animals escape, but there's no food left; the family is shocked.]
Leni: "What are we supposed to eat now?"
Lisa: "I suppose we could scavenge through their droppings for edible seeds." [The family is revolted by the idea.] "Or we could forage for more fresh fruit."
Lori: "Great, let's do that."
Rita: "That's the spirit, kids." [Chants] "Louds never quit!"
Kids: [Chanting] "Louds never quit!"
Jackson: [Unenthusiastically] "L-Louds never quit." [Sighs]
[They head off, when suddenly, a hurricane wind arrives. It blows the coconuts off the trees, takes the hut apart, and blows Lola's princess bed away.]
Lola: [Gasps] "My princess bed! Come ba-" [Steps on and falls in quicksand] "Aah! What is this?! It's slimy and gross, and it's RUINING MY GOWN!"
Jackson: "That's quicksand!"
Everyone Else: "Quicksand?!"
Lana: [Seeing her twin in danger.] "We gotta help her! Hang on, Lols!"
[Everyone runs over, except Lisa.]
Lisa: "Quicksand?" [Walks over] "Will the wonders of this microclimate never cease?" [Jackson pulls her] "Yipe!"
[Lana runs to Lola, but she falls into the quicksand too and exclaims in disgust. The family runs up to them, and Leni looks at her belt and gets an idea.]
Leni: [Turns her belt into a lasso and swings it.] "Wait! I got this!" [Leni throws her lasso and secures the twins; the family pulls and rescues them. However, they pull so hard that the twins collide into them offscreen.]
Lana: "Aw, you gotta be more careful, Lols. I can always build you another princess bed, but I can't build myself another twin."
[Lola is touched, and the twins hug.]
Lisa: "I can. [The twins and Jackson look at her.] It's a simple matter of-" [Jackson covers her mouth]
Jackson: "Not helping."
[Suddenly, a ship horn goes off.]
Lynn Sr: [Excitedly] "The coast guard! We're saved!"
Rita: "We can talk about cloning your siblings later, sweetie. Let's go!"
[They race to the shoreline. Lincoln slows down to a stop and puffs his breath, but he realizes something.]
Lincoln: "Is it just me? Or is the boat just... passing by?"
Leni: "HELLO!" [Nothing happens] "Can't they see us?"
Luan: [Provoked] "I don't get it either, Leni. Didn't they see our distress signal?"
Jackson: [Offscreen] "Uh..." [The Louds turn to him] "Where is it?"
[The waves have washed it away.]
Luna & Luan: "Dang it!"
Lynn: "There must've been some strong winds last night or something."
Jackson: "But I was sleeping on the beach. How did I not feel anything?"
Lucy: "You've probably been in some sort of coma."
Rita: "Don't give up. We can still get the boat's attention!"
Lynn Sr: [Shouting loudly] "COME BACK!!!" [The family all shout over each other for help as loudly as they can for the boat to hear, but the boat is too far away.]
Jackson: "It's no use. It's like I said yesterday. This island is uncharted. They don't know it exists!" [The family groans upon remembering that.]
Lynn Sr: "Okay. Guys, nobody panic. Another boat'll be back soon."
Lisa: "Um, perhaps not."
Rita: "What do you mean? You said the coast guard makes regular patrols of the lake."
Lisa: "Only during fishing season, which concluded today."
[The family gasp.]
Leni: "So, we're stuck here? Forever?!"
Lisa: "Well, technically, a new season will begin in eight months."
Everyone Else: "Eight months?!"
Lynn Sr: [Trying to stay calm.] "Come on, guys. It won't be so bad."
Rita: "Yeah. Just eight short months, with no running water..." [She and her husband start tearing up.] "...no coffee, no toothbrushes, NO TOILET PAPER... NO HOME!!!" [She and Lynn Senior break down.]
Lynn Sr: "DAH, IT'S HOPELESS! I GIVE UP!" [He falls to the ground crying, followed by Rita.]
Lincoln: "Wait, what happened to 'Louds never quit'?"
Lynn Sr.: "Well, son, sometimes, when grown-ups think they're teaching their kids an important life lesson, they can still have it all wrong in certain moments."
Rita: "Sometimes, the universe just has it out for you."
Lynn: [Imitates a buzzer] "That's a load of rubbish. We've gotten through a shipwreck, quicksand, hurricane-force winds, and you wanna quit now? Forget that. I say we're getting off this island, one way or another. Who's with me?"
[The other kids clamor over each other in agreement.]
Lincoln: "We can build our own boat. Rip Hardcore once made a raft out of nothing but sand and moose fur."
Jackson: "Above all, we're military blood. Failure is only a last resort for us."
[The parents smile and look at each other.]
Lynn Sr: "Rita, we really have some ding-dang resilient kids."
Luan: "Well, duh. We got it from you guys."
Lori: "And Jax's dad was in the Army."
[The parents tear up, as Lisa consoles them.]
Lisa: "Um, I advise you to pull it together. You're increasing your risk of dehydration."
[Later on, the Louds build their makeshift boat until it is finally complete to set sail.]
Lynn: "Good work, team. Now, let's get off this stinking island."
[The Louds run toward the boat, but Luna stays still and realizes her father's absence.]
Luna: "Where's Dad?"
[She sees him running with coconuts in his hands.]
Lynn Sr: "Sorry, but I'm saving like 80 bucks here! [A coconut falls to the floor.] Dang it! 60."
Jackson: "Will you forget the coconuts?!"
[Lynn Senior gets on the boat, and they set off.]
Leni: "Bye, empty island."
Luan: "Never to sea you again." [Does a terrible evil laugh]
Lincoln: "Next stop: Home."
[Lily is yelling and is pointing at something.]
Lynn Sr: [Notices what Lily's pointing at.] "Ahh! Wave!"
[A huge wave appears in front of them, and they all scream.]
Jackson: "STORY OF OUR LIVES!"
[The wave takes them underwater, and it seems to have made some damage to their boat, and the family resurfaces, holding on to what's left of it.]
Lincoln: "Keep kicking, guys! We can still make it to land!" [Chants] "Louds never quit!"
Everyone: [Kicking and chanting] "Louds never quit! Louds never quit!" [Eventually, the sun sets, and the family is exhausted while they continue chanting.] "Louds never quit."
Jackson: [Panting] "We gotta keep going, guys! We gotta... gotta..." [Breathing dramatically]
Luan & Lynn Sr: [They notice something] "Ooh!"
Luan: "Hooray! It's the coast guard!"
Lucy: "In a dinghy?"
[There is indeed someone in a dinghy approaching the Louds. It's Flip.]
Lincoln & Jackson: "Flip?!"
Flip: [Notices them; becomes angry] "Hey! I've been looking for you bozos! I haven't heard from you since yesterday! Where's my boat?!"
Jackson: [Exasperated] "Where's your boat?! That's your takeaway?! The stinkin' boat?!"
Lana: [Glaring at Flip] "Your crummy engine blew, and it sank! We're lucky we're alive!"
Flip: "Oh." [Sheepishly chuckles while scratching the back of his head.] "I guess I'll forget the late fee."
Jackson: "LATE FEE?!" [Angrily climbs onto the dinghy] "Mister Phillipini, I'll have you know that there are pressing matters than a late fee! You gave us a boat with a crummy engine, painted oars, and empty cabinets! Do you have any idea what we had to GO THROUGH?!" [An annoyed Lori climbs onto the dinghy and approaches Jackson from behind] "Well, I'd say it's about time that you are given a 1-" [Lori karate chops his neck, knocking him out]
Lori: [Sighs] "Jackson, Jackson, Jackson. You've taught us well."
[And so, the Louds and Flip are on another boat making their way back home. Lily sees something approaching them in the water, and it is actually Plessy. Lily is surprised at first, and Plessy licks Lily's face, and she laughs. Plessy leaves, and Lily gets Lincoln's attention about what she saw.]
Lincoln: [Misinterpreting] "Aww... No, Lily. Home is this way."
[Lily looks off to the right, annoyed. Plessy can be heard laughing like a dolphin as she splashes out of the water.]