Chapter Text
“Alright!” Shun Kazama, a second-year student and the stage manager called out. “Let’s begin with scene two.”
Philosophy Club President did a slow and dainty step-touch as he entered stage left. He took his role as Viola very seriously, sighing continuously at his (her?) fate, taking several moments to simply collapse for large intervals before continuing his way onto the stage, as the young man in the role of the Captain looked on uncomfortably.
“Hold!” Shun shouted. “Philosophy Club President…” He took a deep breath, trying to word his criticism in a way that didn’t seem malicious. “Yamada has informed me that he would prefer if you entered more…what’s the word…quickly?”
Genjirou Yamada, a third-year student, was the director.
“Actually,” Shun continued, “he’s just informed me that you should instead begin the scene onstage.”
Philosophy Club President, towering over the short man who portrayed the Captain, began again onstage.
“Okay, begin the scene!” Shun commanded.
Philosophy Club President leaned back as if to faint. “Oh!” he exclaimed, before leaning over the Captain. “What country, friends, is this?” he spoke, in a posh British accent and a high-pitched tone, rolling his R’s as he spoke.
Meanwhile, Shun was smiling ear-to-ear as the scene went on, but Yamada was smug all the while. “Well, you seem happy, Kazama!” he noticed. “Did I really do that good a job?”
Shun looked over at Yamada and began to sweat, but he couldn’t stop smiling. He gave the other man a thumbs up. In truth, Shun was trying his damnedest not to laugh. Philosophy Club President couldn’t act the role of Viola if his life depended on it, and Shun really wondered why they didn’t just let girls audition as well.
“It is perchance that you yourself were saved,” the Captain said, sounding a bit deadpan, perhaps overwhelmed with Philosophy Club President’s demeanor.
Philosophy Club President fell to his knees and appeared to weep bitterly. “O, my poor brother!” he sobbed out, before sobbing for another ten seconds. “And so perchance may he be!” He continued to cry loudly.
The Captain couldn’t help but sigh uncomfortably. “True madam. And–”
Philosophy Club President continued to wail.
The Captain tried again. “True madam. And to comfort–”
Philosophy Club President wailed yet louder.
The Captain had practically given up at this point. “True–” He sighed and finally shouted. “TRUE MADAM AND TO COMFORT YOU WITH CHANCE!”
“Hey,” Yamada said, pulling Shun aside, “you wanna enjoy this just a little bit longer?”
Shun quietly but strongly let out the laughter he had been holding in. “Hey man, no offense, but…Philosophy Club President? Really? He’s the best you could get?”
Yamada shrugged. “I just felt like I needed to salvage the male roles while I could.”
Shun chuckled. “You want girls to audition, don’t you?”
“This school has never had girls in the drama club, but I do have a few in mind that I think would bring a lot to the production.”
“Oh really?” Shun said, turning to face him. The two of them had long lost interest in what was going on onstage. “Like who?”
Yamada put his fingers to his chin. “There is one second-year girl that I’ve been seeing around a lot. I don’t know if she’d be interested, but I can’t help but think she would be perfect as Viola. I just feel like it would come so natural to her.”