Chapter Text
Anne felt it as she entered, as she took a deep breath, as she took her first step.
The surprise was so brutal and unexpected that she stopped frozen in her walk, her eyes shooting naturally and undisguisedly to the source of the overwhelming scent that stung beneath her skin, pressing her hands into fists, digging her nails into the flesh of her palms. Diana, unaware of what was happening, collided with her head-on, sending her stumbling noisily and spinning around in an awkward, embarrassed manner. Her best friend looked at her with confusion and a slight frown, speaking in a soft voice as she muttered “What's wrong?”.
The blood rushed to her cheeks so quickly that the world shook beneath her feet. All her companions had begun to speak softly, their eyes fixed on them, feeling uncomfortable to be the focus of such burdensome opinions, reaching out abruptly to take her friend's hand, leading her to their seats with her gaze fixed on her feet. Her tongue was numb, and she felt as if her legs were going to give out beneath her until she dropped into her chair, sinking her face beneath the scarf that wrapped her neck densely, breathing through her mouth as if her life depended on it. And maybe it did.
“Anne” Diana whispered, tucking her hair behind her shoulder, looking down at her with a worried expression and sliding her gaze down her ruddy face quickly “Are you feeling all right?”.
“Yes! Yes, I'm sorry, I almost tripped you” Anne replied, waving her hands in front of her to generate emphasis on her lie. The smile she flashed was so nervous that her best friend had no response other than to widen her eyes in disbelief “The heat from the fireplace is sometimes stifling, nothing more. I was surprised”.
“Oh,” Diana replied, staring at the heat source with raised eyebrows, thinking quickly how to fix it, typical of her pure and sweet and selfless personality. Anne could cry just thinking of the little gestures she had to make her feel as comfortable as possible “Do you wish the boys would build a lower fire?”.
“Diana” the omega smiled genuinely, taking one of her cold hands between her icy ones to caress her knuckles with one of her thumbs reassuringly. Her friend dropped her shoulders naturally, listening to her, “Don't worry, I'm fine. It was just the temperature change”.
Diana nodded, pleased with the explanation and the tone of her voice, turning with a small smile when Tillie called her name rows back, beginning to listen intently to the excited conversations of the young women, laughing quietly at a wry comment from Jane that sparked a monologue from Josie Pye that Anne didn't bother to listen to. Anne still kept her nose hidden behind the scarf, which smelled of the burnt firewood, the hot tea Marilla had made for her hours ago, the faint scent of the now-dried flowers that decorated the centerpiece; she blinked slowly, feeling her heart beating beneath her skin, thinking how to satisfy the dangerous intrigue that forced her body to obey, to turn, to breathe.
Anne tried to beat the panic in her head, biting the inside of her cheek so hard she was on the verge of cutting flesh with her teeth, her reasoning taking over from her worry in a matter of seconds. It had been part of her imagination, hadn't it? Only her fantasies could create something so intense, so unbelievable and insane that it made her stop in her tracks and turn her head in despair. It wasn't real, it couldn't be real, it just wasn't....
She had to prove it. She had to make sure it was her head playing with her, testing its limits, blurring the line between reality and fantasy and paradise. She didn't give herself time to hesitate, to give in to her cowardice and breathe through her lips once more, exposing her face and consequently breathing deeply through her nose without weighing the likely consequences that would mean.
The mundane, coarse aromas did not manifest themselves in her senses, in her brain; there was no need. Her head turned on its own, chasing her nose, her lips slightly parted and her ears deaf to the outside world. Nothing else seemed to matter, or her body seemed to speak for her — she had no control of her own anatomy, of her irrational thoughts, of her knees crashing together from the force of bringing them together as a reflex of vulnerability, swallowing so heavily that she feared the people around her would have been able to sense it. Nothing mattered, though. Nothing mattered but Gilbert's heavy scent, which never failed to take the oxygen out of her lungs, but this time it had a different, addictive, lethal characteristic; she breathed in once more, feeling her mouth moistening automatically, bringing her hands to her lap, crumpling the clothes that clad her legs.
The world seemed to cease to exist, where everyone around her was talking loudly, laughing and frowning, while she was absorbed by something unnatural and divine and inexplicable. She felt the intense taste on her tongue, fighting the desire to close her eyes, to let out the high-pitched noise that wanted to rise in her throat, her mind trying to define the aromas that tinged her vision with colors — the heavy, hot fragrance of his masculinity, overwhelming and so overpowering at the same time that Anne had the urge to stand on unsteady legs to sink her nose into his neck, wanting to feel the scent of mint, firewood, fresh air that would expand her lungs with satisfaction permeate her skin. Gilbert smelled different. His scent was still there, intoxicating and impossible to ignore, with a different intensity that stung at the back of her throat every time she breathed it in, brushing against her inner thighs as if an invisible hand was caressing her with every breath.
The alpha, however, had a neutral appearance that made it difficult to see the slight differences in his posture. He was leaning against one of the benches, looking indifferently at his companions, his shirt folded over his forearms despite the imminent arrival of winter, his jaw tense in discomfort and breathing through his nose heavily. Anne licked her lips, fighting with all her might the urge to keep looking at him, knowing she had little time until her attitude would be considered rude and strange, her eyes widening imperceptibly as the alpha slowly slid his gaze towards her. Anne's response was obvious and inevitable, putting more pressure on her fists, stretching her spine and blinking slowly as Gilbert fixed his eyes on her presence — his scent, as if it were possible, intensified as if he could reach out to her, as if he wanted to touch her somehow; her heart burned beneath her skin as the alpha, pupils dark and shoulders stiff with tension, swallowed and licked his teeth without opening his mouth, able to feel his tongue move against his cheek in an elegant and natural way. She didn't have to think about it much longer before she knew what was happening, felt what was happening.
Gilbert was close to his rut.
The revelation unsettled her, feeling suddenly fearful beneath his gaze, afraid that the alpha might sense the erratic beating of her heart despite the bustle around them. Hundreds of questions swirled in her head, biting her tongue hard as she was unable to order her thoughts, unable to tear her eyes away from his as if petrified by him, by his company, by his scent and his beauty and his simple posture that made her soul tremble. She breathed through her nose, innocent of how the gesture should look for a young alpha in the early stages of madness, understanding her mistake when Gilbert tensed his jaw with enough pressure to be worrisome.
Anne was not innocent about rut, not only because of her own heats, but also because of unfortunate situations she had had to witness to understand the gravity and seriousness that a rutting alpha signified. She had been a very fortunate young woman, not having traumatic episodes in any of those encounters other than unpleasant growls and absurd irrationality that did not amount to physicality, along with the irresistible urge to cover her face and get as far away as possible despite being in a clearly vulnerable state. She had read some news about it, heard horrible rumours where, plunged in a violent and frenzied fog, they kidnapped victims who had the misfortune to cross the path of animal men, occasions where energy and lack of satiety made them consume their women even in states of unconsciousness, unconcerned about the wellbeing of their partners or of strangers they had decided to take against their will. Fights between alphas were commonplace, of course, with many of them deciding to beat each other so bloody that it was not uncommon to find the bodies of young men abandoned on the footpaths, their faces disfigured and a putrid scent worthy of a recent and intense rut.
Anne could not disguise the shudder that scratched her spine, confused whether the reason came from fear, from the depth of his gaze, from the contradictory implication of sensing the proximity of his rut and not knowing how to feel about it, unable to move out of an implicit desire to wait for Gilbert to make the first move.
Was it common to attend classes, to expose himself to the public when he was close to a rut? Was no one affected by the intensity of his scent? She watched him in detail, knowing that few would be able to distinguish the slight change in his tense muscles, in his rigid posture, in his expression almost annoyed by the noise and the foreign scents, keeping his calm and rationality above the surface, causing more doubt within her, why did he prefer to put himself at risk in this way?
It will be alright. Everything will be fine, it always was. It's a simple change in her scent, nothing more. Nothing she can't tolerate. Nothing she couldn't deal with. Perfect, in fact.
Anne didn't understand what was wrong with her.
The sweating of her palms had become annoying, unbearable in fact, having to wipe them against her lap every few minutes, feeling the paranoia growing inside her chest like a parasite. She touched his forehead, thinking that perhaps her temperature had risen for no apparent reason, being greeted by her cold, pale skin in response. The professor's voice echoed inside her head, a distant and foreign reality to her anatomy and thoughts, failing again and again to concentrate when she tried, beginning to bite her lips so obsessively that when she felt the metallic taste of her blood staining her tongue she was not at all surprised, running her tongue over the wound absently.
It was a matter of hours before Anne understood the reason.
All her senses, her attention and her body, were attuned to those of the alpha across the room. She would never be able to get used to Gilbert's commanding presence, even from yards away, sensing his existence like a magnetic field around her, drawing her in like a sinful lure; yet now that she could breathe deeply of his addictive, heavy, tantalizing scent, feeling him brush her lips, the delicate skin of her wrist and neck, Anne felt herself slowly losing her mind. She had silently asked her best friend if she could open the window, receiving a horrified look at the cold temperatures, biting her tongue and understanding that she had to endure it for as long as possible. She had to force herself not to watch out of the corner of her eye at his movements, the way he stretched his legs out in front of him, sensing the thickness of his thighs, the gracefulness of his movements as he settled his hips, the tension in his jaw from the discomfort of his body and the boredom of the class, the dark pupils watching her at every opportunity as if he was able to sense her attention and her curiosity.
Her head was beginning to play cruelly at every chance she closed her eyes and breathed. The image of Gilbert sitting close to her was kept alive like a flame, being able to imagine the warmth of his skin if she dared to run her fingers across it, touch his forearm and entwine his fingers, his raspy voice laughing at her or asking everyday questions with concern, enjoying the primal feeling of being looked at by him, of being able to stay close no matter how dangerous it was, no matter how bad it was. She tried to distract herself every time she remembered the wet feel of his lips, the depth of his growls and the vibration of his chest against her hands, the delicacy of his touch, the devotion of his intentions. She had to blink several times to bring herself back to reality, feeling the guilt pass fleetingly through her heart for her selfishness not only with Gilbert for her lies, but with Ruby, who sat behind her and allowed herself to let out hopeful sighs throughout the class. The mere idea that she was able to take in his scent in the same way she did forced her to shift uncomfortably in her seat, confused by the nagging sensation that weighed in the pit of her stomach like an impure, impending reminder.
As the sun climbed towards the centre of the sky, marking midday, Anne waited for no indication to stand up and excuse herself to Diana in a hurried and embarrassed manner “I need to get some air, don't wait for me to start eating!”.
“Anne—” it was rude of her not to wait for her best friend to finish the sentence, turning on her feet and heading outside without looking over her shoulder, holding her breath as she passed Gilbert. She walked towards the icy stream on weak knees, dropping onto the bank before plunging her hands into the water, feeling shivers run through the entirety of her body from the cold and the change in temperature, still aware that the water could not brush her wrists because of the ointment that invisibly covered them.
She brought her wet hands to her face, pressing her jaw together so as not to shiver from the cold, breathing deeply in the cool, frigid autumn air, feeling her head clear effectively and tuning her body to reality rather than her sickly fantasies. She returned to the warmth of the classroom, quiet, wiping the droplets trickling down her chin carefully, wiping her damp hands on her skirt when Charlie's shy voice interrupted her path, smiling an unconvincing smile as she looked into his eyes “Anne, h-hello. I can finally find you free”.
“I'm always free” Anne smiled, tucking the hair that was escaping from her braid behind her ears. Charlie grimaced oddly, and Anne felt her smile cool slightly.
“Well, not always, you know...” her partner wanted to explain, slowly noticing how his cheeks tinged with heat and he began to tangle with his own tongue. Anne looked for the first logical explanation to help him, shaking her head in amusement as she tried to understand.
“You mean because of Diana?” she nudged him playfully by the shoulder, trying to relax his nervous attitude, feeling that she had made it even worse when he turned a red colour too bright to be healthy. She cleared her throat, trying her best to make the conversation as un-awkward as possible “She really enjoys talking to everyone, more so if we're together! Don't be shy to approach if I'm with her, she's always happy to talk to you”.
“Oh, no, I don't mean her, I mean...” he scratched the back of his neck, visibly uncomfortable, slumping his shoulders and appearing to have an internal struggle that managed to make Anne frown, feeling she had lost all trace of his train of thought as he snorted, irritated with himself “It's not important, s-sorry, I always over talk and...”.
“Anne!” Ruby interrupted, moving delicately towards her and taking her arm with absolute confidence, grinning from ear to ear. Her companion wasn't a bad person by any means, but the omega knew her joy couldn't translate in any other way than mischief, playing with her stomach knowing it wasn't a good thing, but dangerous “Come, let's play something new!”.
Anne opened her mouth to protest or ask what was going on, her eyes widening as Ruby looked at Charlie with slight confusion before smiling and grabbing his arm quickly, not giving him time to react or refuse, looking up at him with big, bright eyes as she exclaimed “Come on, Charlie! I'm sure you'll love the game”.
Her feet moved of their own accord, laughing quietly as her shy companion's heart seemed to stop for a few seconds, covering her mouth with her free hand so as not to be rude, watching the round on the floor with disinterest until Josie Pye turned her attention to her like an expectant viper. Anne dug her feet into the floor.
“What a surprise, Shirley” she murmured, smiling with her perfect teeth and silky hair falling down her shoulders, arranging her legs to sit on them on the floor, neat and perfect as usual. Anne had a few seconds to observe the round, noting how the girls were seated and separated by the boys, not having to bother to look closely to know in her bones that Gilbert was still sitting in his place, probably reading with disinterest “Who'd have thought you'd have the guts?”.
“What are you talking about?” she replied, frowning looking up at Diana from her spot, mute and with an indecipherable expression as the boys around her laughed quietly, as if there was a private joke she knew nothing about and which, honestly, didn't seem to be funny at all.
Ruby had taken a seat, biting her lips and sending an expectant glance over to where Gilbert stood, making room as Charlie sat obediently, unable to bear the weight of Josie Pye's pointed attention. Anne couldn't blame him, swallowing as she stopped smiling and her eyes seemed to see right through her, muttering with little patience, “Sit down”.
Anne didn't know what she was doing as she sat on the floor, watching Diana with silent hesitation and a mild warning for the little game they were about to play. It must not have been innocent and harmless if Josie had insisted her participation, feeling her heart begin to beat nervously under her ribs as reality began to surround her again, drowning her with the scorching scent of Gilbert close to her, the unpleasant fragrances of her teasing companions, the anxiety of being close to Josie and not knowing what she was up to. Anne tried to breathe as she watched with wide eyes as her companion set a glass bottle down in the middle of the round, lying down, swallowing thickly as the other girls let out nervous, singsong giggles, the boys clearing their throats and trying to conceal an emotion that bordered on the pathetic. Anne twisted her mouth, noticing with surprise how Diana dodged her gaze, interested and involved with what was about to happen. Anne had to concentrate to take a deep breath.
“The game is simple” Josie explained, connecting her gaze with the others’ before leaning back on her knees and stretching her hand towards the bottle, touching it “The bottle spins, and the people who are pointed at must kiss each other. Easy”.
What?
“It has to be boy and girl, girl and boy, of course” Josie clarified, as if any other possibility could be considered a crime “We're well settled, so we can get started”.
“I—” Anne started to speak, trying to stand up when Ruby gently took her arm to hold her in place, smiling innocently as if making out with her classmates was a fun activity to do while waiting for the teacher to return. She was about to smile politely to reject her when Josie's voice rang in her ears, venomous and defiant.
“What's wrong, Anne, did you kiss too many girls at the orphanage to play with us?” the feeling of hatred and shame spread in the pit of her stomach slowly, tightening her muscles and turning her blood to anger and disgust. She felt her skin tinge a sickly white as she watched her delicate expression, too pretty to be the bearer of so much evil.
“Josie, don't say that!” Ruby interrupted, biting her tongue as her best friend looked at her disapprovingly, not failing to stretch Anne's arm with her own, “Anne, don't go. If you leave one of the boys must go”.
“I—I, actually...” Charlie spoke, shy and low, looking at Billy with eyes as big as a deer about to be hunted when a low, inoffensive growl from Billy silenced him, sentencing that no amount of complaining or denial was going to be accepted. Anne felt nauseous as she painfully braced her knees on the ground, feeling like a caged animal as Josie pointed to the bottle in the center of the round. Nothing around her seemed to exist, unable to concentrate on Gilbert's enveloping scent due to the panic that was beginning to clench her heart in its claws, seizing her lungs, moistening her palms.
“Diana, you start,” Josie encouraged, glaring at her insistently until her best friend swallowed audibly and moved warily towards the bottle. She took it, swirling it with perhaps less force than necessary, until within seconds it pointed at Moody. The young man didn't know how to react, glancing to his sides as if he might flee, until he had no choice but to face Diana, taking the first step by standing up. The air was thick with tension as her best friend approached, hesitant and wide-eyed, until in the middle of the dead silence she spoke softly and gently.
“Morning, Moody” she murmured, nodding her head as if it were a chance meeting on the main avenue rather than sharing a first kiss.
“Good morning, Diana” Moody replied, stirring nervously in his place, while the other classmates around them kept their eyes fixed on them nervously, biting their lips, breathing slowly and expectantly at what was about to happen.
Perhaps Diana's pleading eyes for escape from the situation spurred him to slowly move closer, sensing how her best friend stretched her head, jumping slightly in place as he broke the distance, landing a fleeting kiss on her lips, too fast to be felt, almost brutish for the speed he exerted. The boys burst into the round, howling and clapping, while the girls laughed in delight at the spectacle; Anne was able to smile slightly through her nerves when she noticed a genuine smile from her best friend, returning to her place calmly and looking up at her with sparkling eyes, almost communicating telepathically, overcoming the crowd.
“Ruby, spin the bottle” Josie encouraged, grinning uncontrollably as the young girl, red from head to toe, stretched to spin the bottle biting her lips compulsively, looking hopefully in the direction of Gilbert, who was probably still concentrating on his reading rather than engaging in awkward and forced games. Anne had begun to fantasize how serious it would be to stand up and walk away, ignoring the protests and insults, when the bottle pointed at Billy. Ruby made a funny, displeased expression with her lips, getting Anne to laugh quietly at her rejection.
“Maybe you should turn it again” Josie protested, gesturing with her hands, clearly in denial with the bottle's natural decision, looking on with a frown when Billy didn't utter a word against it. Ruby blinked sad eyes, speaking in a sweet voice.
“Are we sure no one else wants to play?” the question was so obvious that Anne felt a dagger in her stomach, a lump in her throat so thick she couldn't swallow. It was absurd to feel this way when the alpha had no commitment to her whatsoever, beginning to bite the inside of her cheek nervously and uncomfortably when Billy didn't move a muscle in her direction, and Ruby did nothing but look sadly at her friend.
“No one else wants to play, and we need to hurry before Professor Phillip comes back” one of Billy's friends insisted, nudging him by the shoulder to give him courage “So stand up so we can continue”.
Billy snorted, standing up and ignoring Josie Pye's murderous, indecipherable stare, stretching one of his hands out towards Ruby to do the same. The poor girl didn't know what to do, tinged pale and reddish at the same time, opening her mouth like a fish's, watching Billy and Josie debating what to do until her friend couldn't take it anymore “This is stupid. It wasn't clear who she was pointing at, so Ruby will have to spin the bottle again”.
“That's not true” Billy's friend muttered, making a confused expression that bordered on mocking, getting Anne's eyes to widen slightly at the way he was treating Josie, who didn't waste a single second in turning to glare at him with hatred “It was pretty clear the bottle was pointing at Billy”.
Anne averted her gaze to Billy and Ruby, feeling a shiver run up her spine at the alpha's unpleasant presence. His posture, even relaxed, looked domineering and threatening, looming over her as if predicting her desire to escape, oblivious to Ruby's cowering posture on herself, avoiding eye contact and his closeness. She didn't hear Josie's unfriendly response in the back of her head as she stood up, unable to bear the awkwardness of the situation for the poor excuse of a game, digging her feet into the ground as she muttered, “Ruby, if you don't want to play with him that's fine. There's no pressure”.
Ruby fixed her eyes on her, noting the warmth of her cheeks and the twinkle in her eyes, stepping back decisively when Billy let out a low, low laugh, devoid of grace, mired in mock disbelief as he tilted his head to the side to look at her. Anne restrained the impulse to take a step back “Will there ever be a day when you learn to keep your mouth shut, orphan?”.
“I'm not talking to you” the answer left her lips before she could think of the consequences, feeling her heart pounding with anger and the silence falling heavy between them as the rest of the conversations died to the tension of the unexpected encounter.
“Let me guess,” Billy continued to speak, turning around to direct his body towards her. His scent remained light in comparison to Gilbert's overpowering, intense aroma, but it had no less effect on her — nausea clawed at her throat, erupted cold sweat on the back of her neck, breathing through her lips without breaking her gaze from his eyes. She wasn't a coward, she wasn't afraid, she didn't have to run away “How many people did you kiss to want to ruin the fun for the rest of us?”.
“This isn't about me, it's about Ruby's consent and—” Anne muttered, shaking her head and frowning at the ridiculousness of his proposition, feeling her palms damp with nerves. All eyes now seemed to be on her, analyzing her as if they could see through her, through her impurity, through the demon that dwelt within her soul and held her heart and contoured her body and her thoughts as she saw it. All eyes seemed to be on her memories, on Lloyd's brutal hands stretching her hair, flicking her nose, pinning her to the floor and licking her neck, taking all her dignity with her, everything... “It's her choice to kiss you or not. She doesn't have to do it in the name of a game”.
Anne saw the change from controlled irritation to a deeper, more animalistic anger taking place on his face. Her companions were still sitting, staring at them, and Anne was afraid to look away from Billy as if he were a wild beast, who might attack her the second she turned her attention away from him and his putrid scent. Her body had no better reaction than to widen her stance, stretching her shoulders, keeping her feet flat on the ground, her chin up; he didn't have to be aware of the cold sweat covering her lower back when Billy spoke again, looking for a reaction from her “Did she say no to me, Anne? I bet that all the people who've touched you, none of them expected you to say yes, am I wrong?”.
“Did you hear her say yes, Billy?” she ignored the question, feeling a dagger digging into the center of her stomach, as if he was able to see the marks on her skin, the hardness covering her scars, the black ink sinking into her bones. He let out a snort, like an angry bull, inviting her to avert her gaze to Ruby, who was pale as a sheet without knowing the exact reason; being beta she possessed a less sensitive nose, but was able to perceive the scents on a lesser level, being able to be affected by them anyway. Billy's malevolent, heavy scent was probably drying her throat, struggling to concentrate when Anne asked, “Ruby, do you want to play with him?”.
Ruby looked on the verge of being sick, breathing through her mouth and keeping a small distance from the alpha who didn't bother to look at her, too furious with Anne to take his eyes off her. Her friend slowly shook her head, biting her lower lip anxiously as she decided to raise her soft, unsteady voice “M—maybe we shouldn't force anyone to play if they don't want to”.
“This is your fault, Shirley” his ill-intentioned comment went unnoticed as her male and female companions began to debate about it. Anne suddenly felt vulnerable, being ignored by a room full of people, as if she was alone with Billy, where he could say whatever he wished, and no one would witness his malice “Ruining everyone else's fun because you've had your fill”.
“You're right, I've had enough” Anne sighed, taking a step back, exhausted. The headache from the putrid scent of his anger was looming, wanting to get away from him as quickly as possible when she saw Ruby being comforted by Jane, while Josie sat beside her with a disgruntled expression on her indecipherable face. Diana was just getting to her feet to join her when Billy stopped her, grabbing her arm firmly.
Anne felt nausea rise in her throat as she remembered her encounter in the forest, how vulnerable and helpless she felt, having to walk around with a stone in her pocket for weeks for fear of finding him again. For fear of being found. It was absurd, to think she had any kind of power or possibility when Billy, with a simple grip on her arm, possessed the physical ability to drag her away and beat her as if she were a rag doll. Surprise and panic gripped her, not knowing how to react as his hand clung to hers, digging his nails into her flesh in a reflexive act of causing her pain to let go. Diana, eyes wide in fear and prying without a second thought, grabbed her other arm to pull her close, exclaiming loudly enough to get the attention of those who were distracted “Billy! What are you doing?”.
Billy didn't take his dark eyes from her face, however, feeling his fingers sink into the sensitive skin of her arm, clenching her jaw tightly at the sharp pain of his pressure. She breathed through her nose, trying to remain calm as Diana continued to speak, blinking slowly as the alpha spoke “I'm getting fed up with your attitude and insolence, Shirley, don't you remember the deal we had?”.
“There's nothing between you and me” Anne spoke in a more unsteady tone than desired, feeling her expression warp in agony as Billy forced her even closer, feeling her legs weaken beneath her from panic and stress. Her throat seemed to close at the imminent threat of defying an alpha, her nature begging to obey, to withdraw from his attention and anger, failing considerably in the face of the strength of her character and her instincts to preserve herself in the most rational way possible “Let me go”.
“Or what?” he challenged, shaking her arm slightly in proof, causing her eyes to well up with tears at the brutality of his touch. All around her, perhaps her other companions, had stood up, trying to do something about it, backing away as a low, menacing growl from Billy pushed them away; an instinctive promise that they were going to regret it if they did anything about it “Or what, Anne?”.
She didn't want to let a single tear fall, or let out a single whimper of pain, pressing her jaw so hard and trying so insistently to free her arm, knowing it wouldn't be possible until he decided to let go. In her head, engulfed by fury, helplessness, anger coursing through her veins, disgust weighing on her stomach, her nature doing its best to remain calm, Anne had no better idea than to look him straight in the eye, firm and defiant, muttering clearly, “You're out of your mind if you think I'm going to obey you”.
“You will have to learn many things if you wish to remain here,” he muttered low, not letting go of her. Anne thought about the possibility of snarling in his face, kicking him, starting to scream in a delirious manner, freeing her other arm from Diana's desperate grip and trying to claw at his eyes. Anne thought she heard the voice of one of his companions behind Billy, but neither of them seemed to hear him “And the first of them will be to keep quiet”.
“Let me go” she whispered through her teeth, feeling the pain was unbearable, blinking fast to fight back the tears, taking deep breaths to keep from letting out a sob, unable to control herself when she said, “You're hurting me”.
“Will you learn to shut your mouth?” he tugged at her once more, making her trip over her own feet, nearly colliding with his chest as she regained her stability once more. Diana seemed to be sobbing beside her, in anguish at the display of violence while the other girls were pale with horror. Anne tore her eyes away from his to watch her arm being brutally squeezed, fearful of the bruising that was to adorn it later, struggling once more with breaking free.
“It hurts” she confessed, knowing the tears could not be dispelled, hating herself for not tolerating it, for not being able to fight it, for not being able to do anything about it. She felt weak and vulnerable and hatred corroded her veins, tainted her soul and her goodness, exposing her in front of everyone as if she were nothing, humiliating her like an animal, letting out a whimper of agony as his fingertips seemed to brush against her bones, digging into her like needles. Her fate seemed to be to fight for what she believed was right, to stand up for those she believed needed it, to stand her ground only to be punished for it, to be persecuted, to be beaten as if she was worthless. Her best friend was the only one holding onto her, futilely trying to reason with Billy as Anne breathed through her mouth not knowing what to do, not knowing how to free herself from him and his poisonous scent and his hurtful words “Let go of me, or I swear—”.
Diana caressed one of her shoulders, bringing her hands to her face to wipe away the tears that were streaming down her cheeks as she didn't know what to do to push him away. It was in a matter of seconds that, suddenly, the girls took multiple steps backwards into a far corner as Moody tried to touch him, cowering in on himself as Billy snarled in her face with ferocity and lack of rationality, territorial and aggressive; even her best friend, in a response purely of instinct, had taken a step backwards with her eyes wide in terror. Anne felt she couldn't breathe through the alpha's dense scent, anger bristling her skin and pain making her dizzy with such intensity she felt the nausea shake the ground, stretching her arm out once more and letting out a low moan of agony as Billy dug his fingers in harder “Say it”.
“I swear to God, Billy, if you don't let go of me right now—” she began to speak, overwhelmed and still feeling the anger vibrating in the frantic beat of her heart, letting out another whimper as she heard the low throb of his chest, furious at her lack of submission and surrender, frustrated that he couldn't assert himself over her even through threats and pain, angry at the fear of others but her own. Anne was about to tug on her arm for the tenth time when, suddenly, her back collided with the firmness of another's chest.
For a few seconds she pushed her body away in nervousness and terror, until her other senses seemed to follow her nose and skin. The warmth that enveloped her was strangely familiar, surrounding her with the same calmness as the sunlight at midday, the spring breeze when she decided to walk barefoot through Green Gables, running from the chickens when they wanted to nip at her ankles; the body leaning against her relaxed her muscles instantly, like a remedy, feeling her shoulders slump and a whimper catch in her throat, biting her lower lip so as not to show the pain radiating from her arm. Worst of all, of course, came with her nose, feeling Gilbert Blythe's scent so close to her that she feared she would lose the strength of her legs, the spicy fragrance of heat caressing her neck, her wrists, a heaviness worthy of an anger she had never sensed, and a tinge she had not been able to distinguish until now: possessiveness. Possessiveness that bristled her skin and shot her attention towards him, like a magnet and eyes wide in surprise and an instinctive adoration she couldn't stop even in front of so many onlookers, breathing his scent deeply, the protection of his presence melting into her body, into her soul, into her nature.
It didn't take the alpha opening his mouth for Billy to let go of her arm, as if her skin suddenly burned, taking a step back as he understood the magnitude of the situation, his eyes widening slightly at Gilbert's feral expression. The alpha regarded him with black eyes, the energy heavy and dark and his scent so intense that Anne had to bite the tip of her tongue to keep from making any strange noises, freezing in place as Gilbert diverted his attention to her, her omega's instinctive response in looking harmless and disguising the desire for his comfort and touch. Anne couldn't think as she should, sliding her eyes across his pupils, the definition of his bones, the warmth of his skin and the strength of his hands, trying to ignore the absurd chanting of her head in shameful, unnatural relief at his alpha presence, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts, it hurts....
His expression, of course, expressed nothing but concern and regret as he looked at her. The alpha approached her, oblivious to all onlookers, taking her by the chin and lifting her upwards, inspecting her face carefully as he noticed the few tears staining her cheeks, the redness of her nose, the exaggerated swelling of her lips from biting them in a desperate attempt to endure the pain. She felt as, beneath his gaze, her reasoning began to abandon her, yielding instead to contrary emotions that began to choke her, frightening her not only out of the stupid relief she felt at his nearness, but out of the panic of not understanding what was happening to herself. The alpha understood, within seconds, the change in her breathing, her eyes crystallizing, her lips trembling, hugging her arm against herself, sinking her shoulders, as if to make herself tiny, to go unnoticed, to disappear; he didn't continue to touch her, releasing the air through his nose before speaking for the first time “Anne, do you need to leave?”.
The deep, husky voice bristled her skin, noticing how everyone around her shared confused looks, holding herself in place for fear of invoking unwanted attention from the alpha, feeling a tight knot form in her stomach as she looked at Ruby, who, for the first time, seemed to be looking at her with different eyes. She began to nod her head, not letting go of her arm, as if it could fall apart if she didn't hold it in her own hands “Y-yes, I need to, I should...”.
“Come on,” the alpha murmured, slow, sure, real. Anne felt the confusion of her reaction, of the emotions coursing through her from head to toe, of her body's animal response to get as far away from Billy as possible as she approached the door, trying not to be consumed by the fear and embarrassment of the morbid and surprised attention of her partners, especially that of Josie Pye who, since Billy had decided to start pulling on her, hadn't moved a muscle.
Gilbert uttered no more words, following her closely, not looking at any of his classmates. He closed the door behind him, keeping a safe distance as Anne tried to breathe with the cold air cutting into her skin, moving closer to the stream and squatting down, feeling like her heart was going to break her ribs. Shame, fear and regret gripped her lungs, fixing her gaze on the water for fear of looking over her shoulder and noticing how everyone was watching them from the window, judging her, Ruby deeply confused and hurt by Gilbert's reaction, Billy making hurtful comments with Josie Pye listening intently. And to Diana, who must have been surprised at the closeness after lying for so long, after not confessing that she'd had her first kiss, that she wasn't who she said she was, that she deserved to be punched in the face for lies and betrayal and danger and....
“Anne” the alpha spoke, startling her, turning her head in his direction as he crouched down beside her, looking at her with dark pupils and a soft tone so as not to startle her “Breathe”.
Anne blinked hard, averting her gaze and trying to breathe through her nose, agitated, regretting it the moment Gilbert's scent hit her in the face so hard she almost dropped; the fragrance was more intense because of his closeness and concern, drying her mouth, feeling the taste of mint on her tongue, the warmth of a campfire, the freshness of pine in autumn “I—I can't”.
“I can—” he began to mutter, moving closer to her to take her by the shoulders decisively when Anne shook her head energetically, getting him to stop with a frown.
“They're watching us” she spoke, fixing her gaze on the stream and letting out a sigh, feeling guilt fill her eyes with tears “Ruby and Diana must hate me. I don't know how I'm going to look them in the eye”.
“Anne” the alpha repeated, hypnotic and reassuring, unable to contain the urge to rest his hand warmly and reassuringly on her shoulder, encouraging her to look over her shoulder “They're talking to each other, so don't worry about anyone else. I need you to breathe, and slowly”.
“I can't” the omega replied, breathing through her clothes, feeling her skin suddenly sensitive and thirsty for his closeness, his warmth, his scent and his mouth and his words, struggling to focus and gain control of herself “I was wrong. Diana must be deeply confused and I'm tired of lying to her and keeping things from her, while Ruby, Ruby...”.
The alpha seemed to have had enough of her mild moment of panic, sliding his hand down her back to the point where she had to mute in surprise, feeling dizzy from his presence, his spicy scent occupying her head, the silky touch of his hands, blinking as the alpha spoke slowly, clearly “Don't be afraid. You're a good girl and I'm sure they can appreciate it too, they'll understand whatever happened between you as time goes on”.
“You really think so?” it was pathetic to seek approval so desperately, eager to feel relief, to ignore the hot sensation of conscience whispering in her head, beating her over the head for her lies, for her selfishness, for the devastating desire to keep the few precious friendships she had made for the first time in her life. Gilbert seemed to be a mature and observant person, trying to breathe through her nose as he knew he was right; Diana was her soulmate and she couldn't lose her friendship because of her fear of revealing her secrets, because of the confused purpose of wanting to protect things she couldn't control “I have to fix this as soon as possible. I don't want to hurt anyone”.
“Of course you don’t” the alpha murmured, sensing how the scent seemed to draw her closer and closer to him, to his warmth in the middle of a cold autumn afternoon. She slid her gaze down his face, admiring the ability to have moist lips even in such low temperatures, a pale hue that would look sickly on anyone but on him it looked akin to a fallen angel, hovering over the earth and casually stroking her back “Does it hurt much?”.
“Oh, my arm?” Anne replied, swallowing the saliva that had accumulated in her mouth absurdly. She felt her cheeks tinge pink at her incorrect thoughts, blaming it solely on the alpha's intense scent and deceptive touch, looking down at the arm she was still holding in her hands “Yeah, but I think it's fine. I'm going to be fine”.
“I'm sorry” Gilbert murmured in a voice so low it could be likened to a lullaby, fighting the urge to close her eyes to enjoy the deep sound of his tone, the warmth of his nearness, the scent that seemed to intoxicate her with each passing second “Can I see it?”.
Anne seemed to think about it for a few seconds, beginning to bite her lower lip nervously until she nodded. The alpha reached out to her, taking the arm she was holding gently, large hands and warm skin undoing the button around her wrist, folding the sleeve carefully to inspect the skin carefully and objectively, politely ignoring the change in speed of her breathing and the bristling skin at his touch. He brushed his thumb affectionately against her arm, blinking slowly as he brought his lips closer, leaving a light, polite kiss on her wrist, making her dizzy with his possessive, angry scent despite the contrast of his calm, protective attitude — she blinked as the alpha looked at her through the density of his lashes, pupils so dark she felt absorbed by them “I promise it won't happen again”.
“It's not your fault, Gilbert” Anne denied, her tone low and unable to look him in the eye, allowing her arm to rest in the safe touch of his hands. She could feel the alpha's intense gaze studying her face, cheeks wet with tears, nose red from crying, lips swollen from biting them; if she could smell her scent she would smell a sour, unsettling aroma “Billy shouldn't...”.
“It won't happen again” the tension in his jaw appeared at the mention of his name, stretching his hand to the crook of her arm, stroking it over the sleeves, brushing his knuckles against her jaw, sliding the heaviness of his gaze down her neck draped with an indecipherable expression. Anne, in a natural, instinctive response, dropped her shoulders, fluttering her eyelashes at his touch, noticing Gilbert's deep breath, as if able to take in his naturally sweet scent “He shouldn't even be able to look at you”.
Anne fought back a smile, trying to ignore the pleasant feeling expanding in the pit of her stomach, wanting to keep the tension and anger out of her voice “I consider that a difficult aspiration to fulfil”.
“Impossible, in particular cases” the alpha continued, sliding his fingers down her religiously draped neck, caressing her shoulders, unable to stop touching her despite how dangerous it could become to be found by the professor or to be looked at by her peers; Anne knew that Gilbert was mindful of foreign gazes, perhaps making a mistake in blindly trusting his judgement, finding herself surrendering to the possibility of pulling away. The alpha sighed, changing his tone as he spoke again “Is this the only time he has done this?”.
“Billy?” she watched him, concerned, turning away from facing the stream and instead facing him head on. They were still on the ground, and the alpha had decided to keep her hand between his, stroking her knuckles absently and steadily. Anne frowned at his disgruntled expression, his intense scent, the tightness of his jaw, biting the inside of her cheek until Gilbert nodded “When you found us in the forest and this time were the only times he came near me”.
His fingers slid down her wrist, caressing the soft skin, distracting her completely from the focus of the situation; her body possessed sectors with more sensitive skin such as her wrists, her neck, the inside of her thighs, holding her breath in surprise as his fingers caressed her. The sensation was electric, accompanied by his spicy scent, the possessiveness emanating from him like waves, his black eyes as he spoke “I don't want you to be afraid, or worried about him”.
“He doesn't scare me” Anne thought, relaxing under his caresses, but being aware of the darkness that enveloped him like a shadow “I just... I don't know what he's capable of doing. I don't understand what's going on in his head”.
“He's not capable of doing anything” the alpha replied, bringing her hands to his mouth again, kissing the back of it, devoted and sincere, looking into her eyes, as if he were making a promise she had to remember clearly. His voice sounded husky, as if he was on the verge of growling angrily at the very thought, “I won't allow it. I will break his hands if he chooses to bring them near you”.
Perhaps the rut was really having a feverish effect and, consequently, on her as well. He seemed slower with his usually sharp reflexes, speaking slowly and deeply, unable to contain the desire to touch her and, above all, the animal violence that emanated from him like a warning. He stroked her gently, as if she were capable of breaking, watching her arm obsessively as if she were badly wounded, but Anne saw the brutality painting his features, the bloody fantasies going on behind his eyes “It's all right, Gilbert. I don't need you to look after me, I'm...”.
“I know what you are” the alpha murmured, smiling slightly at the memory and its challenge, looking her slowly, into her eyes, her nose small, her cheeks plump, her lips parted, deciding the sight was too tempting to distract himself with anything else “I hope you know how to forgive me, Anne. I should have been more attentive and I should have…”.
“It's not your fault” the omega whispered, smiling slowly to convince him, stroking his hand lightly in response, twisting her mouth when the alpha didn't seem satisfied with her answer “It's not your responsibility what others decide to do”.
The alpha stroked her arm without exerting pressure, waiting for some natural reaction from the pain, breathing slowly when Anne allowed him to touch her without giving any kind of response that caused concern “It was the last time, Anne. I promise, and I'm sorry”.
“It's okay, alpha” she replied absently, lost in the steady touch of his arm, his intense scent wrapping around her like a blanket, silencing the outside world, her worries, the pain. Gilbert stopped his caresses suddenly, startled, snapping her out of his reverie as she looked into his eyes “Shall we go?”.
“No” he replied, sensing the change in his expression as he stood up, offering a hand to help her stand. Anne took it, noticing the darkness in his eyes as he looked around, into the room through the window, stretching his neck, sporting his dark hair, silky to the touch; Anne thought, breathing in his scent so closely, what it would be like to sink her nose into his neck, bristling from head to toe at the mere thought.
“You smell different” Anne mumbled, confused with herself through the poor filter of her thoughts, saying the first thing that popped into her head. Gilbert turned his head towards her quickly, looking at her with slightly widened eyes “You smell good. Better”.
Gilbert couldn't be doing this to her. To her, to her who had never been cruel, dismissive, tempting like he was being right now; looking down at her from his height, with full lips and defined jaw and his big hands resting at his sides when he could be caressing her with them, with broad shoulders he could be touching at that very moment, with his slow, lovely voice that could be whispering pretty things she wanted to hear in her ear and....
She swallowed, ignoring the alarms of the radical change in the effect the scent had on her, enjoying his attention and his surprise as she studied his face, convincing herself it would be too obvious to stretch her neck for him, to release the low rumble of her pathetic, need-covered throat, taking a slow, deep breath when the alpha spoke in a velvety voice, alluring and unique “You can come closer, if you wish”.
Gilbert didn't know what she wanted, or maybe he did, but he wanted to play with her because he enjoyed watching her suffer. She tried to be reasonable, trying to remind herself that she had suffered an episode of violence, that all her classmates had witnessed it, and that, in addition, she had gone out with an alpha with whom she spent study days alone because she had beaten him up; an alpha who was the eternal crush of one of her classmates, an alpha with whom she had shared her first kiss and had decided to hide from her best friend, an alpha with whom they were spending too much time alone to mean any good, running the risk of being caught by their classmates, by their teacher, for putting him at risk by relating to him and hiding a small detail of being part of a dynamic socially and religiously hunted like the plague.
Nothing seemed to matter at that moment. She trusted him, trusted that there were no dangers around her, trusted his judgement, trusted her body as she took a step forward, leaning closer, batting her eyelashes and feeling a shiver run down her spine at the closeness, at the intense, lustful scent melting in her mouth; she was inches from his neck, having to stretch her own to reach for him, but the alpha's dark gaze seemed more of a warning than an invitation, fixing her in place as he seemed to read her intentions. The husky voice reached her ears like a song “Careful, sweetheart”.
“Did I do something wrong?” her omega seemed to speak and act for her, biting her tongue as the alpha pressed her face into his hands in a way that on another occasion would have infuriated her greatly while now she felt her legs tremble under his weight.
“On the contrary” the alpha spoke, stroking her jaw, her lips, with dark eyes, smiling slowly, as if he couldn't control himself. He brought his face close to hers, making a pleased guttural noise as Anne obediently stayed in place, sighing audibly as he kissed the corners of her lips slowly; his warm, moist lips brushed her gently, forcing her eyes closed and making him feel the rapid beating of her heart beneath his grip “You're too good for me”.
Despite the impending arrival of winter and the hostile people around her, Anne felt she might be able to melt under his touch.