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Tim vaguely wondered why the lights didn’t flicker ominously as Dick closed the door to the theatre room, dragging an irritable Damian with him.
“Let Meeting number six of “Jason is too perfect” commence,” Stephanie cried, banging a gavel she’d bought with Bruce’s credit card just for this purpose.
“Must we call it that?” Tim asked without any hope.
“We call it that until you can come up with something better,” Dick retorted.
“Seven years from now,” Damian put in.
Tim threw Steph’s popcorn at him.
Cass just smiled at their antics.
“Okay okay, does anyone have anything to report?”
“Jason stayed an extra half an hour after Storytime at the library to talk to a couple of older kids who bring their siblings in. Both of them agreed to start volunteering at the library after,” Babs said with gritted teeth.
“Jason has had tutoring sessions with at least four high school students this week in English. All of them have improved their grades in that class by at least thirty percent. One has gone from failing to a B-,” was Tim’s stalking contribution.
“He beat Damian to rescuing a cat from a tree,” Dick added in the silence.
Damian huffed loudly. “All of this is just proving that none of us are going to be “as good as” retired Robin, Jason Todd-Wayne, savior of Crime Alley.”
“I mean, Red Hood is giving him a run for that title,” Tim replied.
“Guys, we’ve been doing this for six weeks. Maybe it’s time to let it go.”
“But we haven’t proved Jason is secretly evil yet!” Steph whined.
“He’s not,” Cass murmured.
“I know, but like…he’s too damned perfect, good with kids, good with animals, graduated college, working with people in need, running Wayne charities, running non-Wayne charities. Hmph, there’s definitely something afoot.”
“Then it’s a very long con. Jason has always been like this, Dick was just too pissed off at Bruce to notice.”
“Gee, thanks, Babs.”
“I’m just saying.”
“Did I miss anything or is Jason still perfect?” Duke asked, coming in from the dayshift.
“Nope, still the media darling he was yesterday. He rescued a cat from a tree, did you know?”
“Yeah, it was on the news. They want him and Red Hood to do a team-up for protecting everyone in Crime Alley, Jason, promoting youth activities and education, and Hood protecting them from criminals.”
“That would be hilarious…actually, Red Hood is fantastic at button pushing. Do you think he could get Jason to crack?”
Everyone laughed. Hood was…he wasn’t a…well, he was a bad guy. He controlled the drug and weapons trade in Crime Alley, but his control had spread to Tri-corners and the Bowery. The mob and Black Mask were fighting over Diamond District, as always, but Hood was munching on all the other gang territories.
He also protected all the working girls, blocked kids from purchasing or dealing or acting as mules and kneecapped or ran off all the human traffickers in his territory. Sometimes he’d leave USB information drops for Tim and Cass. He’d fought side by side with Dick a couple of times, dodged Steph’s bricks without retaliation and gave Damian a pat on the head when the boy tried to stab him.
But he shot at Bruce whenever the man came within grapple distance. So not a Batman fan. That’s fine, whatever. He’s never actually shot Bruce and the bullets they recovered are actually rubber. Still, the bullets pulled from traffickers’ kneecaps were not.
The door opened and Jason stood there, looking at them, holding the cat he’d rescued. They looked back. “Umm,” he started, “Is this a private party or can anyone join?”
“I was just about to text you,” Tim said, smoothly. “Group chat must be bugged, Duke and Damian didn’t get the message for the movie marathon either.”
“I’ll poke it tonight,” Babs said, pulling out her tablet with a sigh that clearly implied she’d start working on it right now.
“Awesome,” Jason said, going over to Steph to steal some popcorn. “What are we watching?”
“Avengers.”
“Independence Day.”
“Jurassic Park.”
There was a long beat of silence.
“We haven’t picked the order yet, clearly,” Dick said. “Which one do you want to start with?”
Jason blinked a little, then visibly let it go. “If we go oldest to newest…Jurassic Park.”
“Great!” They dimmed the lights and the familiar theme poured from the loudspeakers.
…
Jason found Bruce punching a bag after begging off of the full marathon. “They’re still trying to find my dirty little secret.”
“Hn.”
“It’s sorta hilarious.”
Bruce paused, letting the bag sway back into place. “I want to know your secrets too, I just don’t talk about it.”
“Daaaaaaad,” Jason whined. “I rescued a cat from a tree.”
“True supervillainy.”
Jason laughed, then sobered quickly. “Do you ever wonder what would have happened…”
“With?”
“If I’d died. Or if you saved me but I didn’t quit Robin. Would we still have Tim? Would Dames and Cass and Duke have joined us sooner or later or not at all?”
Bruce eyed him. “What’s brought this on?”
“Just answer the question.”
Bruce considered. “I don’t know what could’ve happened if you’d died. Losing any of you is something I can’t think about.”
Jason looked away. “And if I’d stayed Robin?”
“You’re like Dick. You wouldn’t have stayed Robin forever. Might have been better, given Tim more time as a child.”
“Yeah, right.”They both remembered the day Tim broke into the Batcave and stole Jason’s suit. Jason had recovered from Joker’s assault, but had lost most of the muscle memory for fighting. Bruce had waffled between clinging to Jason as a helicopter parent and being hyper aggressive with the criminal element. Jason had been stretching on the mats when he heard a proximity alarm go off. He was too weak to fight, even with the casts off, his body still felt like it was held together with duct tape. He stepped into the shadows and watched as fucking Camera Kid crept into the Batcave. What the fuck? He scrambled around until he found Jason’s locker, which still held a Robin suit. He tugged it on and raced back out to the tunnels. Jason had just stared, then got on the line to Batman. The kid was scruffed before he could make it to the city. Still, he’d made a compelling argument for becoming Robin. And just everything about his life made it simple for him to slide into the family.
“He might have really gone evil if we left him there much longer,” Jason retorted.
Bruce chuckled. “Now who’s trying to label his brother as evil?”
Jason smirked. “I’ve got layers, like an onion.”
Bruce reached out and pulled Jason into a hug. “Love you, kid.”
“I’m 23, I’m working on my Masters.”
“Still my kid.”
“Thanks, dad.”
…
It was Roy who called and informed Dick, in a very pissed off tone that bordered on hysterical, that Red Hood had been taken from his apartment by members of the Justice League.
“I don’t even get it. He’s not even a fucking threat.” Roy’s voice was muffled as he yelled on speaker phone while suiting up. Dick started suiting up as well, at least to go up and do an evaluation. Red Hood was definitely a threat, but not to the League. Still, he had to ask, “Why was Hood at your apartment?”
“Babysitting,” Arsenal retorted.
“.........You let a crime lord babysit Lian?”
“Lian likes him.”
“How did you even meet?”
There was a long pause. Dick wished he could see Roy’s face. But… “Roy, is Hood your dealer?”
“The fuck?!” Roy hissed, suddenly all up on the phone’s speaker. “No, he’s not my fuckin’ dealer you fucking asshole. I’ve been fucking clean for ages, since—”
“Okay, sorry, jeez,” Dick interrupted.
“He’s my fucking boyfriend!” Roy continued as if he hadn’t heard.
And what? Dick tried to think. “When did that happen? How did you even meet?”
“We don’t have time for this, Wing,” Roy snapped. “I’ll meet you at Watchtower.” Then he hung up.
Dick sighed and switched to open comms, wishing he was already in Gotham. At least he had zeta access in Bludhaven now too. “O, can you patch me through to B?”
“One sec.”
“B? Red Hood’s been arrested by the JL, we need to get to the Watchtower.”
Bruce responded, “Just got the alert, already returning to the Cave. Who contacted you?”
“Arsenal.”
“Arsenal isn’t in the League.”
“No, but he’s apparently dating Red Hood. They picked him up from Arsenal’s apartment.”
Bruce didn’t actually have a response to that. And Dick didn’t seem to want one.
…
Red Hood had been locked in Interrogation. One wrist was broken. Clark had had to take his gun by force. They hadn’t been able to cuff him with the break and Clark had just pinned his forearms and marched him out. Hood had gone back and forth between swearing and flirting as a distraction. Neither worked, though Clark definitely left Interrogation, red in the face from the filth. He’d cuffed one arm to the table and had splints brought to set the wrist. Hood didn’t kick up a fuss, but did call him a variety of nicknames. Clark left Hal and Wonder Woman “chatting” with him. He’d heard the zeta announce both Batman and Nightwing in short order and then Arsenal.
The last was surprising. Oliver had rescued and taken Roy’s daughter back to his and Dinah’s home. Roy might be pissed about someone going after Lian, but he’d thought Roy would focus on Lian and not Red Hood. Then again, Lian was safe where she was.
Roy was the first one he found, as he was already running through the halls. “Where’s Hood?” he snapped.
Clark’s frown deepened. “He’s in Interrogation, please calm down. Lian was unharmed.”
“No shit, she was unharmed. He was babysitting. I was gone less than two minutes.”
That brought Clark up short. “Babysitting—” he started, but Arsenal was already darting past him.
“Supes!” Nightwing called from the way Roy had come.
Clark hesitated, glancing back and forth. Batman appeared behind Dick and Clark relaxed. “I thought Red Hood was a criminal?”
“He is.”
“But Arsenal…”
Dick sighed. “Yeah, we just found out they’re dating when he called to yell about you guys taking him.”
More revelations incoming, it seemed. “Dating?”
“Who is watching him?”
Clark looked to Bruce. “Diana and Hal.”
Bruce grimaced and started toward Interrogation.
They reached the one way mirror and found Hal using the ring to hold Red Hood still while Diana was running her hands along under the helmet for catches. Roy was throwing himself against the locked door, snarling.
“Roy,” Dick started.
“Shut up, don’t let them take off—”
The helmet came off.
Bruce was still, jaw working. Dick darted over to see if Red Hood was someone he knew. The young man had a red domino over his eyes but that wouldn’t matter to his family.
Jason…
That was fucking Jason.
Dick went to the door and yanked Roy away from it. “You knew?!” he hissed, not looking as he dropped to his knees to start hacking the lock.
The lock clicked and buzzed and Roy leapt over Dick to get to Jason. Diana dropped the helmet and grabbed Roy, intending to stop him from hurting his daughter’s would-be kidnapper. “Shit,” Red Hood said, looking at the door, at Nightwing.
“I knew it!” Dick yelled, getting to his feet and nearly dancing into the room. “I fucking knew it.”
“You don’t know jack shit,” Red Hood retorted. He stood, twisting something in his fingers. He’d uncuffed and stolen the ring from Hal in the seconds after Roy burst in.
Green Lantern was just Hal Jordan in a flight suit again.
And then Batman was in the doorway. He was silent, expressionless, motionless.
“Ah fuck,” Red Hood ran his not broken hand through his hair. “Dad, this is not what it looks like.”
“You’re dating Arsenal.”
There was a beat. “Oh my god, that’s what you’re gonna harp about?”
Roy snorted softly.
“I knew you were Red Hood.”
“Wait, what?” Dick, Roy and Jason yelled simultaneously.
“Jason is Red Hood?” Clark asked from behind Bruce.
“I’m telling everyone. Perfect Jason Todd-Wayne is the Crime Lord Red Hood.”
“You shit, don’t you dare—”
“Tooooo laaaaaate!!!” Dick sang out. Then he rounded on Roy, who Diana finally let go of. “You’re dating my baby brother?”
“He’s twenty-three—”
“You’re twenty-eight!”
“Do I not get a say in this?”
“No.”
“Come on, look at the fun part: Green Arrow’s gonna have an aneurysm because Roy’s dating a Bat. It’ll be hilarious.”
“I knew you couldn’t be that perfect!” cried a voice. They all turned to see Red Robin, Spoiler and Robin in the hallway.
“How did they get here so fast?”
“Oracle sent us up before you texted,” Tim said. He looked Jason up and down. “I knew you’d never be able to give up being a hero.”
“Pretty sure I’m a criminal, Replacement.”
“Only to the cops, you protect Crime Alley. And if B already knew, he had to think you were better than the alternative.”
“How long have you known?” Jason asked, looking back to his dad.
“Since the first time you shot at me.”
“How?”
Only so many companies make rubber bullets and your network wasn’t diverse enough then. You bought them yourself. The disguise was good but not perfect.”
Jason pouted. “I’m not going to stop.”
“I’m not asking you to.”
He bit his lip. “Thanks, dad.”
“Roy is too old for you.”
“Oh my gawwwwwd, shut up. I’d rather you care about crime lord bit.”
“Jason and Roy are together?” Steph asked.
“Tt.”
Jason covered his face and leaned against Roy.
…
Ollie rolled up twenty minutes later, having tucked Lian in to find Jason Todd-Wayne in Red Hood’s gear, sans helmet, holding hands with Roy in a break room with most of the Bats and several JL members. The apoplectic explosion of rage was absolutely worth it.