Chapter Text
Mark and the Captain stood in front of their respective podiums. The first challenge was about to begin. “Just three simple questions, right Captain? We’ve got this.” He smiled in the Captain’s direction, trying to reassure them. They had been deep in thought, but shook it off at the sound of Mark’s voice. Nodding, they smiled back at him. “Yeah, we’ve got this!”
Wilford cleared his throat as he tapped cue cards down onto the podium in front of him. He swung his arms wide open, exclaiming “Well, contestants, let’s begin! This round consists of three questions, which you both will be answering. To keep it fair, we will go back and forth on who answers first. This round will begin with eenie…meenie…miney…you!” He pointed at Mark as a spotlight illuminated him and his podium.
“Just a reminder, in order to earn points, you must tell the truth.” Wilford added, assuming that was already understood.
“First question: What is your biggest driving factor on this mission?” Wilford asked, music that Mark hadn’t noticed before suddenly became more suspenseful.
Mark didn’t hesitate for even a moment. “The Captain.”
The Captain looked over at Mark, clearly surprised by his answer. Their face flushed and they looked away, trying to hide their embarrassment.
“Woah hoh hoh! Annnnnnnndddd, judges?” Wilford looked over to his right where a small set of bleachers had appeared, full of skeletons. The music paused as he waited for…something?
Then the screen where Mark and the Captain’s names were displayed went green and a loud ‘ding’ could be heard. “That answer is the truth!” Wilford nodded as the music resumed while applause rang out from somewhere.
Mark and the Captain glanced at each other, taking a moment to agree how weird the situation was using their facial expressions. Mark shrugged and gave the Captain a half smile, which they returned, before looking back to Wilford.
“Now, Caption, the same question to you. What is the biggest driving factor on this mission for you?” Wilford leaned on his podium, propping his smirking face up with one hand.
“It’s Captain not caption. And, I would say…” They paused to think it over. “The crew, the colonists, and Mark.” They flushed again, looking away as they spoke.
“What was that last part, dear? You’ll have to repeat that!” Wilford seemed to smirk more, if possible.
“It was Mark! The crew! The colonists! And Mark!” The Captain turned redder, if possible. They had been doing this more lately, and it was…concerning.
They had no problem admitting to Mark just how much he meant to them. However, expressing it in some twisted game show was another story.
The music again faded as they waited for the ‘ding’. It came shortly, but not short enough for the Captain who was burning up with each passing second. It was followed by an ‘Aww’ from the ‘audience’.
“Very good, very good. Now, Ketchup-” Wilford began.
“Captain” The Captain retorted, still a deep red color.
“The next question is as follows: If you could change one thing that has happened so far, what would it be?” Wilford’s tone turning a bit more serious, if possible.
The Captain was the one who didn’t hesitate this time. “The death of my crew, and the fact that it happened on my watch.” They stared Wilford down daring him to say it was incorrect. The screen lit up green and the clapping came much faster this time.
“Perfect answer, Clapton-” started Wilford.
“Captain” came the correction.
“Now, Mark. If you could change one thing that has happened so far, what would it be?” Wilford ignored the Captain’s glare.
“The death of the crew, and the fact that the Captain blames themself.” Mark sounded gentle through his answer, both upset and worried for the Captain.
“Alrighty then, next question! Mark, what color are your underwear?” Wilford smiled widely at the change of pace.
“Huh..?” Mark hesitated slightly before giving an answer. “Green.” A loud electronic ‘buzz’ went off as the screen turned red. There was an audible booing sound emanating from somewhere within the room.
Wilford tilted his head slightly, confused. His smile didn’t falter as he continued. “Oops! Tough luck, Mark!” He turned his attention to the Captain.
“Now Captain-”
“Captain…Oh, wait, you got it right that time.” The Captain thought it was odd that Mark had lied about something so trivial, but their thoughts were broken by Wilford’s question.
“What color are your undies?” Wilford chuckled at the word ‘undies’.
“Underwear, and black.” The Captain answered. The score board went green and a ding sound was heard.
“Wait, how did you know-”
“Very good contestants! Now, let’s take a look at the scores, shall we?” Wilford interrupted as he turned to face the screen. “Captain with three, and Mark with two! It's neck-and-neck folks! Aren’t we so excited??” He turned to the skeleton audience again. Nothing. “Oof, this atmosphere is dead.” He turned to his contestants, anticipating laughter. There was only silence from Mark and the Captain.
The Captain turned to question Mark during the pause, but before they could speak a large glass dome descended from the ceiling. It sealed to the floor and encased both Mark and Willford. It seemed the next game was beginning.
The Captain looked puzzled, but they gave Mark an unsure thumbs up. Mark returned it, clearly alright with the situation. It did little to ease the Captain's worries. They watched as the game progressed, unable to hear anything being said between Mark and Wilford. They noticed Wilford shake his head and Mark seemed to argue with him.
“All I'm saying is, you should ask yourself if the Captain would be able to live with you deciding this for them. They are no good to your colonists deranged, or depressed, or dead.” Wilford shook his head and looked at Mark, trying to gauge his feelings. He was oddly lucid and logical in this moment.
“I am doing what’s best. If I tell them, they will just worry about me! They won’t be able to focus on the big picture! I have to do this! I am going to be useful for once!!” Mark was getting heated, Wilford could understand why - but he didn’t like the potential outcome.
“Fine, fine. Let’s finish the game then.” Wilford continued the game with little resistance. Shortly the dome lifted and Mark was free.
“Alrighty then! Mark has finished this round with 1 point!” Wilford gestured towards the screen as it updated with new point totals. Mark and the Captain were tied at three points each.
The dome suddenly lowered to box in the Captain and Wilford. Wilford sighed before beginning the same spiel he had already done with Mark. “I’m sure you can guess why the dome is here, and I'm certain you remember this round is a logic game. So be smart, yada yada yada.” He huffed “I hate explaining myself over and over.”
The Captain looked over towards Mark, half listening to Wilford speak. Mark was staring down, he looked conflicted. The Captain’s heart ached for him, and they wanted nothing more than to hug the worry away.
Before the Captain realized, Wilford was standing in front of them. “You like Mark don’t you, Captain?” He had a shit eating grin that made the Captain want to sock him. “I have a professional relationship with Mark as the head engineer of the ship I am currently piloting. He is also a very close and trusted friend of mine!” They retorted, trying to explain the redness covering their cheeks away.
“All I'm saying is, you should tell him! I do love a good romance~!” Wilford returned to his podium. He continued with the game before the Captain could argue any further.
“So, I will set the stage and you will make the choices.” Wilford began explaining the setting for the round. The Captain would be playing the role of a young adventurer exploring a dark cave. It began with the Captain standing at the mouth of the cave.
“What will you do first?” Wilford asked, genuinely curious on what the Captain would do.
They thought about it. Mark was tied with them on points at the moment. If they gained too many points, there was a chance Mark wouldn’t be able to catch up and would wind up the loser. They shuddered thinking about it. No, they had to play this smartly.
“I run into the cave flailing.” They answered, bluntly.
“You…run into the pitch black cave?” Wilford asked.
“Yes.” The Captain responded.
“Flailing?” Again Wilford questioned.
“Yes.” The Captain responded.
“Wow.” Wilford stood there, puzzled. “What a stupid thing to do. I mean, I always have my gun on me. Y’know, bang bang and all. But you didn’t even ask me if the character had anything on them!” He stopped his rant and smiled, realizing what the Captain was trying to do. “I’m not going to just let you forfeit this challenge, you know. I’ve been around the block a few times I’ll have you know! I’ve seen a ruse or two in my time!” He chuckled, seeming excited.
“Matter o’ fact! I think we should change the rules for this round. How about, instead of getting points for making smart choices, you’ll get points for stupid choices?” He twirled the end of his mustache as he spoke, mischievous and daring.
“Fine, not like I have much of a choice either way - right?” The Captain asked.
“That’s right my dear! So, please, let’s continue the game!” Wilford began the same line of questioning from the beginning, making the correct choice harder and harder to get to as the game went on.
The dome lifted after some time, and Mark turned to face them.
“With that, round two is finished! Please turn your attention to the screen to see the results!” Wilford waved his hand yet again and the screen changed. It read:
Mark: 3
Captain: 3
“As you can see, the Captain here received a whopping ZERO points!” He laughed, almost maniacally before shooting the Captain an impressed look. They smiled back at him, pleased with how things had turned out.
“So, are we ready for the final round??” Wilford’s eyes nearly sparkled, things had proven interesting after all and he was thankful.
Mark and the Captain shot each other glances before nodding at Wilford. He snapped his fingers and Mark disappeared from his podium.
Mark found himself standing at the beginning of the course. He took a moment to get his bearings before looking over the course. It was a pretty basic track with some minor elevation changes. No climbing up walls or scaling buildings involved. However, whatever was hidden within the course made Mark incredibly nervous. He looked back at the Captain, seeing the fear in their eyes. He felt conflicted on what to do, guilt beginning to eat him up inside.
He wasn’t given much time to think before a buzzer went off - signaling the start of his run. He picked up a slow pace, barely jogging at first.
“You’re gonna have to do better than that if you want to survive!” Called out Wilford, sounding less like a warning and more like the punchline of a joke.
Mark picked up the pace, narrowly dodging traps and pitfalls. He ducked beneath a small, nearly invisible, wire. He could see a loose tile on the pathway up ahead. He assumed it was a trapdoor that would lead to spikes or some other manner of death.
He made a split second decision and stepped on it, putting his full weight down. The door didn’t budge. Mark kept going, noticing that the door fell after he was a few steps past it. He looked back, confused.
Mark shook his head and pressed on. The Captain looked at the pathway, noticing Mark’s hesitation. They decided to observe him closer, hoping he wasn’t trying to do what they thought.
Mark watched for the next couple of traps, trying to set each one off while he was in danger’s way. Each time the trap would hesitate and only go off when he was past them. Mark huffed, getting slightly agitated.
The Captain stomped forward before yelling. “Mark! Are you fucking kidding me??!” It had all finally clicked for them. Missing the easy question, getting so few points during the second round, now this? Mark was trying to fail and get himself eliminated instead of the Captain.
Mark faltered, stopping on the track to look back at the Captain. “H-huh..?” He had never heard them yell like that - especially directed toward him. “Captain, I-”
He was cut off with more yelling. “How dare you do this to me!! You want to leave me here all by myself?? To do this all alone?!” The Captain felt tears welling up in their eyes, they had to get their point across. “How did you feel being on that ship alone? You want to put me through that too? I can’t do this without you…I don’t want to do this without you..!” They wiped the tears from their cheeks, but they were quickly replaced by more.
“Captain…” Mark stepped backwards on the track, towards them.
“Aaaaannnddd, disqualified! No stopping on my track and no backtracking either!” Wilford huffed a bit and crossed his arms. He snapped, making Mark appear back next to him. “Alright, your turn Captain-” He stopped speaking when he noticed just how upset they were. “Although, I am a sucker for theatrics. So, take a moment to gather yourself and then we can continue.” Wilford stepped away, seemingly occupying himself with something at the side of the room.
Mark walked up to the Captain, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. “Captain I-”
The Captain cut him off by pulling him into an embrace. “Please, please, don’t leave me by myself.” Mark felt tears of his own fill his eyes. He hugged them to his chest tightly. “I won’t, I won’t….I’m so sorry…” They spent a few moments like that before the Captain pulled back. “I know why you would want to sacrifice yourself…but I want to hear you say it. I think it would help me be less upset…”
“Well,” Mark started, “I figured if only one of us could make it - it should be you. I mean, I’m not much help and this is all I can do for you. Look at everything so far, you’ve figured out so much - without my help. You are kind and brave and so smart, and all I am is trouble. If I hadn’t used the warp core to begin with…We wouldn’t be in this mess.” He looked up, meeting the Captain’s eyes.
“Mark, you’re wrong. I couldn’t have figured any of this out without you. The only reason I am able to come off how you perceive me is because you’re at my side. I do this all for you, for our crew, and for the colonists.”
They reached out and took Mark’s hand into theirs. “You’re the strong one. You’re selfless and loyal. You make me feel safe, and you inspire me to reach new heights. You helped me through the academy, you stuck by my side as we grew, and you picked me to be the Captain of your ship. You are my everything.” The Captain turned away, a bit flustered at their admission.
Mark flushed, he was used to the Captain praising him - just not like this. He turned away slightly, embarrassed by his own thoughts. He squeezed the Captain’s hand, using it to ground himself. “I’ve got you, and you’ve got me. Right?” He asked, softly. The Captain nodded, feeling more secure. “That’s exactly right.”
“Alright you two! It’s the Captain’s turn to run.” Wilford popped up, seemingly out of nowhere. He snapped and the Captain appeared at the beginning of the track. They were given no time to protest before the buzzer sounded and they took off.
The Captain had noticed something odd when Mark was running. Sure, Mark had decent reflexes. But there were many times he should have fallen victim to the traps, not counting the times he was trying to fail.
They took a slight step to the side, where they would have triggered a poorly hidden trap. The trap didn’t go off until they were several steps past it. Aha! So, the traps weren’t meant to actually hurt either of them. They smiled, slightly relieved. Maybe Wilford wouldn’t separate them after all!
They did their best to put on a good performance, ‘narrowly’ dodging several traps along the way and stumbling once or twice. Mark and Wilford were on the edge of their nonexistent seats. Mark already had an idea that the traps weren’t going to hurt the Captain, but just the idea had him nervous. The Captain finished the run in what Wilford exclaimed to be record time.
“Well, now then! Looks like the Captain will be gaining a point!” Wilford guided Mark and the Captain back to their podiums as the track behind them lowered into the floor and closed up. The scoreboard changed to reflect the point the Captain had won.
“With that, the game is over! It looks like the Captain is our winner. As for Mark, you will now be dropped in the incinerator!” Wilford smiled evilly, waiting for their panic to set in.
The Captain and Mark linked hands and stood there, unfazed.
Wilford huffed. “Ugh fine. You two are no fun! Anyways, here.” He tossed an envelope to them, Mark was the one to catch it. He looked it over for a moment before Wilford continued. “Nu-uh! No peeking! Now get out of here, I’ve got a party to catch - and you’ve nearly made me late!” He pulled the small wormhole out from behind him, it again trailed his hand.
He swished his hand forward and the wormhole moved behind Mark and the Captain before growing in size. “Thank you for playing ‘Wilford’s Wonderful Survival Game Show™’, patent pending.” He smiled and shoved them in before waving ‘goodbye’.
Off they went, back into the familiar swirling mess that was the wormhole. The view of Wilford shrunk as they moved further and further away.
“Well, that should have stalled them long enough. They need to see this through to the end, with as few additional tragedies as possible.” Wilford spoke, seemingly to no one.
I appreciate your kindness, Wilford.
“Yeah yeah, anyways I hope they make it to their goal.” He continued as he twisted one end of his mustache between two fingers.
I hope so too.
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“The hell do you mean?! You’re the author!!”