Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Laying his head down on the bed that didn't quite feel like his own but was, Basil tips his head back to the ceiling. There was residue from glow in the dark stars long since peeled off on the ceiling, 'I remember him helping me put those up' he thought, before another thought crossed his mind as he looked to the calendar on the wall.

'Do you think of me on my birthday, Sunny? Do I linger in your thoughts like poison on your lips? Do you forever have the curse of thinking of me when you see a blooming sunflower reaching out towards the sun desperately? Am I innocent in your memory?'

-

After a few hours, his eyes opened, he'd like to pretend they slowly opened sleepily, but it was more like he'd just blinked and the day had went on without him. Basil had fallen asleep into a dreamless sleep and woke up. He could almost laugh at how he'd slept the way he did, Basil was always scared of sleeping on his back after being told a faux scary story from a brown haired boy with dark curly hair that fell down to just his mid neck that he used to be friends with. Used to...? Did they ever officially stop being friends or was it just another case of 'friends will drift apart!' and how it's 'just a part of life!'. Yeah, well, it's true but.... Did it have to be true?

Pushing himself into a sitting position on the duvet, he can't help but remember he'd slept fully in the clothes he'd gone outside in previously in the day. Rich, isn't it? Did it even matter anymore if there was a difference between sleep clothes and day clothes, or was he too miserable to care anymore? Maybe both.

Well, on the brighter side, it was only 6:30pm. Still day left, there's still an opportunity to achieve a good day and to change his mindset into a positive one. Swinging his legs over the side of the bed, he stands up, his legs wobbly for a second at staying in a single position for a while during sleep. The bed behind him was unclean, maybe a reflection of himself if he thought on it. But it could easily be covered up by adjusting the sheets, he'd just do it when he got back.

Walking towards the mirror, his biggest concern was that the flower weaved into his hair might've become crushed and damaged. But once he reached the mirror, a bigger concern emerged. Could he go out like this? Looking like some sort of freak? Scars littered up his arms, more jagged on the right arm than the left? Hell, some of them were recent and it showed that they were recent. How did he go out like this before? No wonder he gets fucking bullied and pushed around. He deserves it of course. He'd bully himself if he was an outsider.

Snapping himself out of his thoughts, Basil huffs. Well, it's my body, why should I have to cover up my scars? I'm the one who has to live with them not anyone else!

With a new found confidence, he exits his room (turning the light off after him of course) and closes the door behind him. He falters for a second at the stairs, but goes on despite it. He was ready to go out and not let anyone judge him, he didn't care! Reaching the bottom of the stairs, he takes his shoes off of the shoe rack and puts them on, tying his laces and-

"Basil?" A voice calls from behind him, making him jump and his heart beat pick up. "Hwuh-? Oh- Um, hi...?" Basil speaks nervously, tears pricking in his eyes from the unexpected confrontation. Right, he'd forgotten about Polly, how could he forget about Polly. "Where are you going?" She asked in a calm tone, Polly was nice, but for some reason there was just a part of him that despised her and everything she does. "I, uh, just wanted to head out to the- the park." Basil mumbles, all of his confidence lost at the prospect of him being denied to leave the house.

Polly eyed him suspiciously at the nervous demeanor, but sighed anyway. "Okay, come back before dark though." Despite being allowed to go, he still felt a pang of guilt as if he's inconveniencing her and that she was annoyed. Oh God and the sigh, she hates him, she fucking hates him so much. He should just kill himself, walk in front of a car when he walks out the door, drink weed killer, throw himself down the stairs-

"Are you leaving or what?" Polly taps him on the shoulder, bringing him back out of his thoughts- he hadn't even put both shoes on. "Oh! Um... Yeah, okay. Sorry." He mumbles the sorry, pulling his other shoe on quickly before tying them just as fast. His voice was filled with tears and his movements were shaky, he felt in pain when he straightened his back to stand up.

"Okay- leaving now, bye." Basil stutters as he walks out the door, stumbling without looking while he goes as he almost trips over a plant. If he kicked that over, that would be the final straw for him that day, he thinks. Gathering himself once more as he hypes himself back up with false confidence, he was going to go to that park and wouldn't be ashamed of himself! Yeah! With much more of a spring in his step, he passes the next street and looks out at a house he hadn't approached in years now. 'Does he yearn for me like I yearn for him?' Basil thinks before tearing his eyes away painfully, is the tree still standing? He heard that they had it cut down, is the tree house still up? Are the items he accidentally left there standing through the weather? Did he take them inside for memories sake, or did he destroy them like he did? Pushing the thoughts away once more, he reaches Faraway Town park. The old sign covered in peeling paint with the plants around it ill grown, maybe he could volunteer to clean them up? He probably couldn't, he wouldn't be good enough.

The sky was already turning a shade of orange, it would get dark soon anyway. Did he have to listen to Polly? She wouldn't look for him anyway, and maybe he hopes he'd get kidnapped. He deserves the worst treatment he can be given. He doesn't deserve death, he deserves to be tortured for days on end and dumped on a random street corner, yeah. The fantasies of this didn't even make him shudder anymore, they just made him hope.

Chapter Text

When walking through the gates of the park it all immediately felt unforgiving and cruel, is this a place with good memories or just something to cling onto like a dog? Was returning to the park just akin to the poor aggressive dog declawing it's paws and offering vulnerability to a lovesick Master who found themselves too empty to care for the dog? The same dog who mangled it's paws over and over for a shred of affection but instead had it's skull bashed in? But, no matter how he loathes over it and the memories it holds and never forgets, he will never stop coming back to mourn.

One step at a time onto the withered over time grass that had turned brown and infertile from the trampling of previously happy children who still held a sense of wonder. It remembers. It doesn't forgive, nor does it forget. But, Basil was here now, scars and all, he showed his face. Praying upon the sweet hope of being left alone to examine the flora. The sweet hope of getting the park to open up its memory bank and show Basil the past he had, the past that could've continued into the present, all hidden neatly behind a obscured bush.

-

Basil kept his head down as he stepped, his mind set on one location and one location alone. Really, he'd like to pretend it was because he could be alone, but he couldn't help but feel helplessly drawn to the sentimentality of it all. Turning right, he keeps walking, not looking where he was going, he hits into someone. Basil let's out a light yell at the hard push against his body, falling onto the grass with a thump. "Watch it!" A somewhat familiar voice speaks, but in a harsh tone he'd only begun to know within the last few years. Reluctantly he looks up, opening his eyes to a pink haired girl on a scooter, a large group behind her. He knew he'd really messed up this time when he realized her bow was on the floor beside him, he'd knocked it out of her hair on impact. "Ah! I'm- I'm so sorry, sorry, um..!" Mumbling out long slurries of apologies, he grabs the bow and pushes himself quickly to his feet, holding it out to her with his head bowed.

They'd do something to him, he just knew it. "I could've gotten it myself!" Aubrey snaps at him, looming above him on the metal scooter. "And get your filthy hands off of it! Who knows where you've been!" She yells, Basil didn't meet her face but he knew he felt it being ripped from his hands and hearing a roar of laughter from behind her.

He suddenly felt as if every single eye in that park was on him. They all watched it happen and did nothing.

Learned helplessness was something he'd acquired recently, it didn't matter if he was beaten, bruised, or spat on, there would be bystanders. All stealing a peek at the gloom. They'd forget it all, he wouldn't...

Would he even remember all of this by next year? Or will he even remember this year at all? Time tends to leave him in the past, no matter how hard he'd try.

Now, he was waiting for something to happen, they'd do something, he just had to keep his head down and wait for it. Aubrey had stolen from him before, she'd take everything from him if she could. Then, something happened, he heard talking, it was all too incoherent for him to hear in his current state. But, he does know that he heard a scooter thud to the floor and he heard heavy footsteps. That was Vance, he recognized him from the footsteps. He was their power card because he was a teenage boy who bordered on adult, he had obvious stubble and was significantly taller than everyone else in the group. Basil would tell him to get a life if he had one to compare his to.

Roughly, his arms were tugged behind his back, "H-hey!" Basil stutters, loud enough to be heard, too quiet to be taken seriously. Unfortunately, he knew what would happen, they'd hold him down in a standing position and he'd get hit. He just hoped it wouldn't be with Aubrey's bat, the nails hurt. They tug at your skin and make you feel as if it wasn't worth even fighting. Vance pulled Basil's arms upwards over his head, holding both his wrists in his hands which made Basil tip his head up to meet Aubrey's face. She hadn't fixed her bow yet, he could see it and the bow was frayed from how Aubrey had grabbed it. But he knew he'd get the brunt of the simple accident.

The position became too strenuous and painful, "O- Ow... ! Please stop!" He whines out desperately, stuck in Vance's grip. He heard, and now unfortunately was able to see, soft giggles at the pain in his voice. They enjoyed this. Aubrey leans forward on her bike, her upper body over the handle bar. "Stop what?" She says mockingly, he face close to Basil's and her pink hair falling in front of her face and slightly covering the sly grin. The laughter began to pick up.

"A-Aubrey..." The blond begins to stutter out before being stunned by a loud punch to his head, thrusting his head to the side with a sob. "I told you, you don't have the authority to call me by my name!" She yelled at him, the laughter immediately reached its peak. He heard everything, yet nothing at the same time, it rung and buzzed in his ears. Hearing multiple phrases of "Served him right!" Or "I wanna hit him now!". The final phrase was tossed around the most.

Which, at the request of Vance and a nod off Aubrey, caused everyone in the group to hit him at least once, sometimes more than a dozen from how he'd counted it. Aubrey stood at the sidelines, not looking at Basil and not engaging, which gave him hope of her still caring about him somewhere in her heart. Even if it was untrue, it got him through the purposeful punches to where they knew it hurt the most. His stomach was aching from the targeting of that area and he cried throughout it all.

"Alright! I gotta go home, scram and drop him." Basil hears Aubrey shout, finally. Their laughter dropped into giggles and he was dropped to the dirt. Curling in on himself in pain against the dusted surface, he deserved it. They all got onto their individual scooters and rode off, though, he caught one last statement before they went out of earshot.

"I can see why he cuts himself, I'd fucking do it too if I was him."

The worst part was that they were right, after that he just heard giggles of agreement and further unheard insults sprawled at him.

Standing up, he looked up at the sky as his body ached, the sky was dark. Did the night sky and it's many stars and constellations forgive him? He liked to believe that everyone who passed on got to live among the stars as their own ball of light which were able to show beauty even after their placement back into the dirt they were born from. But that often made him think, were shooting stars the ones that didn't quite make it? Or was their kindness and beauty so unmatched that they simply had to return to earth to share it all with a unforgiving world to show them how we all become. The same in and out.

Or what about the stars that explode? What did they do? Is that what happens to memories completely forgotten? When their whole family forgets them, are they still allowed to be a guardian over their descendents or do they have to become nothing once they lacked purpose? Were they like eggs without fillings? Or were they like eggs in the sense that their star had been defiled so many times that universe no longer finds them useful for the cruelty they faced on earth? Did their innards get cracked out of their fragile body and consumed back into the universe?

Would he hold any purpose as a star? Would he make a constellation that showed everlasting beauty or would he be exploded and forgotten about without even a single sigh? If he was a shooting star, would he be wished upon or would he be splattered against the floor harshly like in life?

Maybe he'd be a astronaut in the void. The stars would call to him to go home and he wouldn't listen because he had no where to go. They'd call back to him and say about how he should come with them. He could find solace in the stars and the gravitation. They'd make a better home for him than on earth.

Did Mari get to become a star? Or because of how she was taken did she not get the honor. He thinks she didn't reach to be a star, the sun stopped shining as bright when she left and the night sky was darker. Maybe she gets to play the piano, maybe she lives in the safety of a eternal picnic and the blanket that shrouds her cushions her injuries and she never dies, nor suffers.

It was dark. He had to go to his house.

On aching bones, he walks out the park, taking one last look at the park and it's infinite photo album of grief and wonder.

He knows it doesn't forget, nor forgive.

Chapter Text

Walking quickly and painfully through the shell of a suburb community, the streetlights feel like tender kisses upon his skin and they emit a warmth he wishes to feel again and forever.

It was time for dinner.

-

Basil pushed the door open, it made him feel uneasy that it was left unlocked, but now he had to present himself with a happiness. Or at least a quietness with no issues. His stomach had pangs of pain all through it, but he wasn't sure if that was because of the beating or hunger.
Let's pretend it's both and let's play happy child.

"Basil? You're a little late home, but I'm not done cooking anyway so it's fine. Just sit down at the table." Basil nods but she couldn't see him anyway, sitting down at the dark wood table made him feel like he actually had a full tight knit family which cared for each other. But most of the chairs always sat dormant.

He misses when he used to have enough friends where he'd be allowed to sit in front of the TV to eat so they could all watch whatever crap was on that day. It was never any good, but it made him feel whole. Is it all that bad if it felt good at the time? He doesn't think so at least, good moments are what we should really hold onto, right?

"What did you do at the park?" Polly asks, not sparing a glance at him. Basil swallows nervously, letting out a little laugh in dismissal of anything bad happening. He felt sick. "Oh, um, I just looked at some of the plants." Basil speaks softly, God, he hated how high pitched his voice was sometimes. She let's out a small laugh, "You really love your plants, huh?" He laughs back, humming in agreement, it felt a little patronizing if he was honest. But, he did technically look at plants, when he hit the floor he saw a daisy... That sounds pathetic, doesn't it? Whatever, he doesn't even know why he bothers lying to Polly. It wouldn't matter if she knew or not, she already probably thinks he sucks.

Dinner flew by with Basil absentmindedly responding to any questions and him automatically chewing on food he didn't even know what was until he was done. Afterwards, he still wasn't sure. It was like his brain skipped over the time and fast forwarded it. Not an issue, he just can't wait to go to bed, he was too tired and wanted Polly to just go.

Well, Polly was currently gone, she was bringing food to Basil's Grandmother. Basil loved her, but it's hard to hold a conversation with someone when they're in their last month or so of life. He wasn't meant to know that but he'd overheard a phone call. Basil just wishes she was awake enough to hear about how different flowers speak volumes of each other. Would she even listen anyway? Or would he just be burdening her on her resting time. She could've been perfectly healthy by now if Basil didn't talk so much.

Maybe he'll just go do the dishes to be helpful before going to bed, it's the least he can do to help. Did he ever really help anyone?

'I am so full of love to share but it's slowly rotting inside of me from the lack of love shared in the world.' He thought to himself, the only thing he could love were his plants that listened but never replied. They were like Sunny.

Chapter Text

Finishing up his meal in silence without anyone else around him, Basil walks up and does the dishes. He just wanted to feel useful in some way. It was completed quickly, there weren't many dishes.

Finally, he was able to go up to bed, kicking off his shoes next to the shoe rack and placing them neatly in a row. His body was still aching and he wishes he could be ignorant to what happened. Basil walks quietly enough to not have to communicate with Polly, she'd leave him alone if he hid in his room. Quietly, as if he wasn't even there, he shuts the door and let's himself actually feel. It was nice, he thinks so anyway.

Walking over to his bookshelf, he takes out an old notebook from the shelf. It'd been started but never finished. To be honest, he used to share this notebook with Sunny when they were best friends... Best friends. He often wondered if Sunny thought of him as more than that like he did or if Basil was just stupid and misreading it. Anyway, back to the notebook, it was actually a part of a series of dozens of old notebooks. They shared them all but Basil never stopped writing in them after... It. Happened. He couldn't let go.

-

To explain the contents of the notebooks, it was what him and Sunny did wrote whenever they were together. It was a fictional world they'd write about together, all their friends were there, but since it all happened, they never aged in the writings. They were all still 12 and innocent, no blood on anyone's hands. Everyone was so nice back then, they'd been writing about this for about 2 years previous to them turning 12. Basil distinctively remembers after he transitioned when he was 11 and they all went back and edited the books, that was the only time the books were ever changed. Because of that, the kindness, no matter how upset he got, he could never destroy those books. It held more memories than the photo albums.

It was funny to look back on, all the books had the words 'DREAMSPACE' sprawled across the front in a different medium and handwriting each time; Sunny wrote the first one in sharpie (despite how much he hates the smell) , Basil wrote the second one through getting his Grandmother to embroider it in (but that was before she got sick), Hero wrote the third one in dark blue paint, though it clashed with the notebook color, Kel wrote the fourth one by scratching the words in using a fork, but the word 'space' was randomly written in cursive for fun, so it actually looked like 'DREAM 𝓼𝓹𝓪𝓬𝓮' it was strange to think that Kel could write in cursive. Aubrey wrote the 5th one, she used these pretty gel pens and drew little flowers around the words, she was so amazing at decorating (She's the reason it stayed all organized and pretty!).Then Mari wrote the 6th one using a label maker to make it look neat, but she wrote it all in lower case by accident. That was the last notebook they'd all ever shared, half of the pages were still blank and he never finished it. Mari was the one who wrote in it last so he couldn't bring himself to finish it. He just bought another notebook to continue writing about it, Basil wrote the rest of the titles from that point. But he always tried his hardest to change how he wrote it each time.

He was on book 12 now, it was faster to finish when on his own. This notebook had those words written using letter buttons sewed on the front, he'd learnt to sew recently! Recently, he didn't get much sleep, he was always writing and drawing little pictures in the books. Right now, he was expanding the plot on a place called 'The deep well', Kel had originally coined writing it in books ago but there was only a brief description of it written. Basil was getting worried, he was reaching the near end of expanding all of the already written about areas. He didn't want to have to make a new place, it'd change the memories.

His favorite part? Probably reading back on how everyone described themselves in the books. You can really tell that Hero wrote his own! Hero always liked describing himself as the 'Hero' of the group, it was a joke than was so bad that not even Hero laughed when he told it. But, aren't those the best kind? It's nice to be around someone genuine. Kel.... Wrote himself as Kel. That's all he can really say, but later in the book, Hero rewrote Kel's character description to be 'more realistic', which basically meant he was making fun of Kel. It went 'too far' when Aubrey also rewrote Hero's rewrite, to be fair, she did get a little mean.

Basil sighed contentedly, he liked his old little circle. Continuing this made him feel like they were all just on a big trip and they'd all come back and find him. Then they'd get to show them all the new things he added and they'd be happy, they'd all hug and Aubrey would say she borrowed the photo album. He'd get it back and they'd all spend the day looking through all the books and he'd get to pick up his dusty old camera and take loads of new pictures!

Yeah, that'd be the dream. A dream that should've been reality. Basil lays his head against the desk, brainstorming on what he should write next. A shark casino boss would be cool... They'd all get into contracts and Hero would be the boss... That'd be really cool, body guard crocodiles? Yeah, he should write that down.

He picks up his pen, opens up the book to the latest page and begins writing, occasionally picking up his pencil to draw something down.

This was delusional. But he was happy. What's so wrong with escaping from reality if it makes you happy? It gives him hope, so nothings wrong with it.

Chapter Text

It would be really easy to say he fell asleep with his head on the cool wood and pen in hand, like the tragic poet waiting for their love to return home helplessly. But he stayed awake, continuing to work on all the little stories in his head. Before he wrote anything down, he'd think to himself; what would Sunny think? What improvements would Hero give? Would Mari tell him to make it more interesting?

This helped his process and he felt less alone, it was like they were all here standing around him warmly. It took his mind off of things.

-

The time flew by, he was still dressed from the park and there was still dirt and grass going up his sweater- Polly hadn't noticed as it was along the back of it and she was busy, Basil hadn't really noticed himself either. Basil didn't really know this himself, but Polly did know what was going on with Aubrey and her friends. They did it in very public areas with a lot of witnesses, word gets around. Polly had originally found out from someone physically coming to the front door and telling her themselves, it had been going on for months at that point. It had obviously come at a shock, but she chose to not bring it up to Basil until he comes to her first. This would never come, but she could hope.

It was clear to Polly that Basil was suffering, he often didn't hide the fact he self harmed and it was obvious when looking at Basil of that fact, she was aware of it all. But Basil wouldn't accept the help, he seemed far too nervous and anxious to deal with it and explain himself. So, she didn't push it. Even though she knew she needs to, she didn't. Polly would bandage his wounds and let him be, he'd run back up to the bathroom and it'd be left at that.

Anyway, it was past midnight. His bedroom lights were on and he was sat at his desk. Whenever he got really into writing, he'd start talking to himself, too focused on the thought that he'd be with his old friends. Apparently, he'd been talking to himself too loud- he did it a lot, Polly had told him that and she had learned to accept it after nothing changed when confronting Basil over it. Usually he'd just be muttering, but he was fully speaking and laughing to himself.

A soft knock sounds on his bedroom door, but he didn't hear it, continuing to speak.

"Basil?" The door abruptly opens, causing Basil to jump and immediately slam the book closed. He didn't turn around, but Polly had walked into the room. Polly's face contorts in sadness at seeing the dirt splayed across the back of Basil's sweater, "Basil, are you okay?" She walks towards Basil, closing the bedroom door behind her as she sits down on Basil's bed facing him. Making it known that he would have to talk to her.

He doesn't meet her gaze, but he replies "I'm alright, was I talking too loud?" His voice was filled with worry. Immediately feeling guilty for the fact that he might've caused problems for her. "Well, originally, yes." She continues. " But, when you came back from the park. You had a bit of a blood smudge across your lip and chin." She points out, making Basil turn his head to face her, he had gotten a nosebleed and somehow hadn't even noticed. Of course he did, they all made Aubrey's most heavy handed friend punch him in the face several times. He was just so miserable he didn't notice. "Actually, you've still got some blood there." Polly speaks softly, producing a tissue from her pocket and reaching forward to wipe the dried blood off of him, her touch was gentle but it changed little of the stain on his fare skin.

"And then, when I walked in just now you've got mud all up the back of your jumper. That's not from gardening, Basil." The blond boy nods in agreement, immediately feeling too guilty for not saying anything to her, but, he didn't want to say anything to her anyway. God, he was getting stressed. This'll put him on edge for the next few weeks, she was onto him.

Polly reaches out and taps his shoulder, realizing that he wouldn't properly reply, "I know about Aubrey." Upon hearing that, he knew it was up, but he could bluff. "Au- Aubrey? Oh- um, we haven't been friends for a while. Did you only just ,um, find out?" He mumbles, looking away shyly, he couldn't lie well when it was obvious that the other person had proof proving otherwise.

"Basil, she's bullying you-" "NO SHE'S NOT! GET OUT!" Basil interrupts Polly, standing up and yelling at her through now free flowing tears. His voice was hoarse from yelling for the first time in a while. Not wanting to sour their relationship fully, Polly apologizes, quickly walking out of the room and closing the door behind her. Leaving Basil shaking in his room, he couldn't tell if it was from anger or the uncontrollable tears.

His knees were shaking too much, they buckled under him and he let himself fall to the floor, sobbing into his arms on the floor as he curled up. He had to do it. He just had to.

Basil, shakily, pulled himself to his feet, digging through his desk drawers, he pulls out his garden pruners. Through heavy breaths, he smiles to himself as he falls back against the bed, sitting down as he opens and closes the blade. He brings it up to the light to check for rust, seeing none he brings it back down.

Bringing the blade down to his arm, he presses it down against a spot just above his left wrist. It presses into pale, already scarred, skin, he swipes to the side quickly. Before it can start bleeding, he does it again in the same spot. He repeats that 3-4 times before it hurts too much to continue on that spot, moving it down and swiping quickly at random. His movements janky with emotion.

Once he stops, he falls back against the bed, tears still falling, the pruners lay next to him on the sheets as he feels the blood leak and drip down his arm. God, he chased the high of splitting his skin open. He liked the aftercare too, begrudgingly, he sits up and, checking Polly was not there, he walks down the stairs quietly. Going as quickly as he can to snatch the bandages off of the kitchen counter, immediately returning upstairs after getting it.

Once back in his room, he wraps his arm somewhat calmly. His arm was still shaking, but that was expected. Once done, he simply puts the pruners back, returns the bandages to the kitchen, and then goes back to bed to get into his pajamas. It was always a hassle to take off his binder, but he'd get in trouble if he didn't.

Then, simply, he goes to sleep, hiding himself under the blankets in shame and regret for what he'd done.

Polly was going to be so upset with him.

Chapter Text

He was awoken by the sun shining through his window and a warm breeze flowing through the open window he had neglected to close the previous night. Though he wishes he could've closed them when he did, he did not and that couldn't be changed. It wasn't a negative way to wake up, the sun illuminating your features in a way you knew he would've called you the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen. It would thrill you because of how rare it was for him to utter a word and it'd make you feel special to hear it.

It was nice to have a boy so affectionately named Sunny be offen so cold, but also be so bright and kind when he chose to speak. The only words that came fourth from him were kind, he could think on the good memories with him before it all went down. Today was going to be a good day.

-

Getting up reluctantly from his warm bed, he turns to look at the mint colored mini alarm clock on his bedside. It was 1pm, he'd overslept and by a lot. It didn't really matter much, did it? It was the weekend and there was a few week long break from school right now, he just hopes his plants are okay.

After a few minutes, Basil was dressed, it was the same thing as yesterday. But he had a different jumper on, a darker shade of green this time.

He walks over to the watering can by his bedroom door and fills it up with water from the bathroom. Cautious not to spill any water, he brings it back into his bedroom to water the plants in there. Eventually finishing circling around the whole house to water all of the plants, occasionally stopping to talk to them. He was relieved to be finally done, placing the watering can down with a metal 'thump' back in its spot.

Noticing one of his notebooks was still out, he decides to check on the page he slammed down last night. Flipping to it, he frowns. "Awh, nooo..." He mumbles, the ink had spread on the page when it had been slammed down. Causing there to be a long ink line across the face of the 'Bossman Hero' design that he'd redrawn from the crude doodle in book 3. He sighs, he'd have to fix that later, but right now he wasn't going to let that ruin his day.

If the world was going to be cruel to him, he'd be kind to it and it's residents back. Putting a small post-it note tab down on the page as a reminder, he closes it and slips it back onto the shelf. Beginning to clean up the pens and pencils.

By 2pm, his desk was clean and all of his plants watered, having spent about 30 minutes on average on each task. Not bad, usually the plants took a lot more time to tend to, as they all had individual names written on the pots. They were his friends, weirdly enough. For example, he had one Kel had named years ago called 'Hector' on his desk. Needless to say, Kel used to name everything Hector. Everything.

Hector was a cactus, so he didn't need much care, but it was nice to have him there.

But he finished up his tasks quickly for one reason, he wanted to go back to the park. It felt as if, no matter what he knew would happen there, he had no where else to go to. Maybe that was fine, maybe it wasn't. He liked it there, so it's no big deal.

Basil, once more, walked down the stairs and got his shoes on. Shakily informing Polly of where he was going and quickly leaving the house. It was always nice to be outside, Hero always used to say it wasn't good to be inside all day. He was right! It always makes you feel better to be outside.

Once he reached the park, he made a quick move towards the old secret hangout spot. But, his hair was grabbed before he could reach it. He was tugged roughly back with a whine as someone began to speak "You can't go there Basil, you know it's our spot!" He soon knew the voice (and the hand) was Aubrey. Of course, he was incapable of having a good day when there was a group of about 10 all after him constantly.

If he thought about it, he deserves it in a way. They don't know what he did, but he deserves to be killed and pushed around for it.

The group pushes him around until he falls onto the grass, thankfully falling into a sitting position as he cries to, seemingly, himself. "Come on ,Basil, we didn't even do anything!" Basil hears, who he thinks is, Angel's voice say from the crowd. Which reminds him of the pathetic fact that someone younger than him was bullying him. God, he was so pathetic. The group above him continues to laugh at him.

"Aubrey what're you doing?! Is that... Basil!" A familiar voice sounds from ahead of him, he hears the group turn to face the source and he does so as well, bringing his hand away from his face. It was Kel, why was he here? Why was he defending him? This was so strange... Even stranger, he spots someone through his tears... Was that...?

Sunny?

No way, there was simply no way that could be him. But, it was right there in front of him. He was so focused on Sunny that he hadn't noticed that Aubrey had begun fighting both Sunny and Kel. Basil pulls himself to his feet to watch, wiping his tears from his face as his heart thumps. No longer from fear, but from something else... He couldn't describe what.

Aubrey swings her nail indented bat at Kel, seemingly hitting him pretty badly in the shoulder. But, he doesn't falter. Basil was almost jealous of his ability to take a hit, he didn't even drop the basketball he was holding under his arm. God, he wishes he could help them. But he was just in awe.

Kel throws the basketball at Aubrey, hitting her square in the chest, she doesn't falter either. Basil watches as Sunny pulls something from his pocket, was that...? A steak knife? No way, he couldn't.... Could he?

Then, without anyone exactly processing it, Sunny stabbed Aubrey. Basil couldn't see the severity of it due to him being behind Aubrey, but he figured out from hearing Aubrey's cry. "Wha-? Is that- is that a knife?! Did you just stab me you psycho?!" Aubrey exclaims, her friends all quickly swarming her. Basil can't say she didn't deserve it, but it was still wrong. Maybe it was his own distaste of her that made him freakishly glad it happened, but he still kind of thought of Aubrey as his friend. Despite what she's done. Thankfully, he does watch Kel take the knife from Sunny, the black haired boy adorning the same blank expression he always had when he was younger.

"Basil! Are you okay?" Kel runs over to him, Sunny following behind him blankly. "Aubrey's a real jerk." Kel crosses his arms, looking down at Basil from the height difference. It was honestly kind of threatening having Kel be this tall, considering what a ditz he is. "Um... Yes, I'm okay. Th- thank you Kel, and Sunny..." Basil smiles weakly, appreciating the concern really. "That's good and I'm glad you noticed Sunny was here! That's cool, huh? You free to hang out with us?" The brunette seemed excited, like he was almost expecting Basil to accept. "Oh, um, I'm sorry. I can't, I should get home." Basil stuttered, Sunny wasn't looking at him, but Basil was looking at him. He couldn't pull his eyes off him. His palms were sweaty and his heart was beating out of his chest, he looks the same, yet difference.

"For real? You can't hang out even for a little bit?" Kel looks disappointed, Basil nods, feeling guilty for letting him down. Even guiltier at the prospect of letting Sunny down also, but he seems unaffected. "Can we walk you home at least?" The tallest of the group seems dead set on hanging out with Basil in some capacity at this point, so Basil nods again. It'd be nice to spend time with them a bit.

-

So, this is how they ended up here, Basil standing outside of his open front door as they're about to leave. "You need anything before we go? We'll come back if you do." Kel speaks for both him and Sunny, but the black haired boy seemed to be in agreement on it. "No, no, I'm alright. You can go." He musters up a smile, no, he didn't want them to leave at all. Stay, please stay. "Alright then, bye Basil." Kel shrugs as they both walk away, about a million thoughts must've ran through his head in that moment. He felt like he was going insane, they can't leave. They'll never come back. Come back now, don't leave me. Don't leave me again...

"PLEASE DON'T GO!" Basil yells, they hadn't even left the garden yet. They both turn back to face him and the stress hits him. "I-um, I mean I need something." Basil rephrases, taking a deep breath. "Anything, what is it?" Kel looks concerned, yet determined as he spoke, he kind of looked like Hero. They both had the same sense of justice. The blond shakily breathes in before speaking "Aubrey actually stole my photo album, can- can you get it back, please?" His voice sounds so small, he felt stupid for speaking.

"Your photo album?! Aubrey stole it?!? Damn her! We'll get it back, we both swear." Kel looks briefly towards Sunny, who seemed uninterested, but Basil knew he felt the same determination as Kel. Thanking them, Basil closed the door and sat down on the couch. He didn't know how long they'd take, but any amount of time would be worth it to get it back.

Chapter Text

Basil waited and waited, how was Sunny back? It seemed like some sort of dream that he would wake up from and it would give him no relief. He couldn't wait to get his photo album back, he didn't even go upstairs. He just sat on the couch and kicked his feet back and forth. Occasionally watching something on the TV when it came up, but it was mainly something random Polly had put on for background noise.

Some part of him hated the fact that Sunny was back, but, he's a loved at heart. Sometimes he could be a fighter, but he didn't know how to stop loving. Akin to the young girl he used to be who had an overfed hamster because he didn't know when to stop loving. He really wished he knew when to be spiteful and mean, but, that was a bad thing wasn't it? Even if he wasn't the aggressor, he shouldn't fight back because it makes you the bad person.

'But, if you make yourself the victim, you're only ever going to be the victim.' This was something be remembered being told by Kel once years ago, it was something you can can tell that Kel followed. If he was honest, in his case, it was easier said than done. Other people really have it worse, so things are not that bad. It could always be worse.

-

Suddenly, there was a loud knocking on the door, more like a pounding. The noise made him jump as a large, bounding voice came from behind the door "BAAAASIL!!!" A slightly squeaky voice yelled, clearly it was Kel. But Basil could never open the door on his own, it made him too nervous and Polly always had to.

As usual, Polly walked towards the door and opened the door and began talking to, who was now confirmed to be, Kel. Once Polly stepped forward to talk to him, Basil walked towards the door and peaked his head from the door frame. He noticed how Kel's face lit up as he saw Basil as he quickly ushered to Sunny, pushing him in front of him. Sunny outstretched his arms towards Basil and handed him the green book, "Tadaa! Look, we got your photo album back!" The brown haired boy grinned. Almost happier that he got it back, rather than that he was able to give it to Basil. He liked to see his friends proud of themselves.

Basil gripped it in his hands, "It's a little dirty, but, thank you, Kel." He smiles in appreciation, before Polly begins to speak. "Oh, how about you two come in for dinner, I always make too much." Kel looks towards Basil for a second before agreeing, "Yeah! I'm sure it'd be great, we can look through the photo album together!"

Basil sheepishly agrees and they all walk inside of the house, walking over to the carpet next to the couch and placing the photo album on the floor. All three of them sit together on the floor, flipping through. There were photos missing, there was no more black scribbles. Aubrey had cleaned it, she'd done it well. At least Sunny and Kel didn't know what he'd done.

But as they flipped through, it seems like only Basil noticed... All the pictures missing are the ones that had Mari in them. He couldn't bring it up, Mari's brother was at his side and he couldn't make him miserable again. He'd just come out the house, he couldn't send him back in the house for another couple of years.

"You done looking Sunny?" Kel asks, he seemed happy to be looking through. It was nice to know he was enjoying himself. Sunny nods and they closed the photo album, before they could get up, Polly spoke "Can one of you boys help me cook?" She was about to continue before Kel got up, walking over to her and leaving the basketball on the floor. "I can, my brothers a real good chef, I learned off of him." Somehow, Basil did not believe that Kel was a good chef. But Polly thanked him either way.

Sunny got up, leaving Basil on the floor as he watched him walk around the room. He began to walk upstairs, okay, maybe he was going to the bathroom.

After a few minutes, Basil walks upstairs after Sunny, noticing the door to his grandmother's room was open, he walks in. He was greeted by Sunny looking at the orchid on the table. "Oh, h-hey Sunny..." No response. "We, um, haven't seen you in a while, huh?" No response. "How have you been?" No response. He doesn't speak for a few minutes, but he steps towards Sunny. "She can't hear us, you know?" He doesn't reply, Basil had the photo album gripped in his hands.

"Sunny, look, I want you to have this." Sunny turns around and his heart pounds out of his chest at his gaze, a blush crept up his face as he hands the photo album back to Sunny. Not sure if he'd accept it or not, but he does. It was a nice moment of exchange that reminded him of the older days.

"SUNNYYYY, BAAAAASILLL! DINNER!" Kel's voice yells, making both boys jump and look towards the slighty agape door. Basil walks out first, stopping at the door "You comin' Sunny?" No response, but he hears Sunny walk behind him.

They are soon both sat at the dinner table, seeing Kel, for a lack of better words, devouring the dinner he'd helped make. "Hey Sunny, why've ya got Basil's photo album?" Kel says between mouthfuls of food, it was kind of disgusting. "Oh! I- um, gave it to him." Basil laughs nervously, smiling over at Sunny.

"Oh, ya? Like a memories thing? Ya, tha's pretty good 'cus ya know he's moving soon." Basil stopped, moving? Sunny was moving? But, but he just came back? He can't leave me again. Tears welled up in his eyes, "S- Sunny's moving?" "Oh, didja not know?" Kel speaks like it was nothing, this was his everything. He could cope when he just knew Sunny was there, but if he was leaving? No. He couldn't.

"M- may I be excused?" Basil mumbles, only waiting for a slight nod from Polly before walking to the stairs. As soon as no one was watching, he ran up the stairs and into the bathroom, closing the door and locking it behind him with a slam.

Chapter Text

When the door slammed, he swore he heard the noise rattle through his bones and up into his skull where it opened into a bleeding wound. He knew for a fact he heard the whole house silence for just a moment before everyone began laughing and talking again. They're all laughing, without him. The tears returned.

Walking over to the counter with his legs unable to stop shaking, he grips the counter. Strangely relishing in the white colour that became of his knuckles, it hurt, but did it even matter now? Sunny was leaving, leaving him. How could no one tell him? Was this just some sort of joke he wasn't getting and that's why everyone's laughing? God, he was just ruining everyone's fun by running away and not laughing. He just had to be overly emotional, sometimes he wishes he could just be quiet, like Sunny. They'd probably like him more like that.

-

He should just stop talking, stop showing emotion. Maybe he should just stay inside like Sunny did, but he wouldn't be able to do that, he knows he's not strong enough. Basil had heard some people say Sunny staying inside was pathetic, but how was it? It's okay to hide until you feel like yourself again. Sunny was doing going outside now, so what's the issue? He's a good person.

- (chapter summary was 2 long :<)

Looking up at the mirror, he wasn't sure if he recognized himself in the mirror or not. He looked so miserable, what was he going to do without Sunny?

God damn it, it's his fault that Sunny was leaving. All because he was the one who helped Sunny tie the knot which ended her and-

The door opened, Basil swore his heart skipped a beat. Sunny stepped inside. "O- oh! Hello Sunny," He puts his best smile on, but it probably wasn't enough to be convincing. He was never enough. Sunny didn't speak. "So, moving, huh?" No response. "That'll be a, um, big change." Sunny didn't respond once more, so he stands still. Nervous and trying to look as calm as possible.

Sunny goes to walk out. No, no, no, no, no... He can't leave. Don't leave, don't ever leave please.

Just as he places his hand on the door handle, Basil yells. "Please don't leave!" Tears fall from his eyes as he yells, stepping into the middle of the room. He felt it dragging him down, black hands clawing at his legs and flesh and dragging him down. It all formed into a dark shadow that followed him and kept him bound to an awful earth that offers no kindness and it was all coming in this bathroom.

"You see it too right, Sunny?" Basil steps forward, gripping tightly at the other boys black sweater vest. He wanted his tears to soak into that fabric so that he wouldn't be able to forget this moment when he leaves the bathroom. Or if he never leaves, he should stay forever with him. Basil smiles in some twisted way at Sunny. "The dark presence that follows you and me." Basil mumbles, tears dripping onto the tiles.

Sunny reaches for the door handle, opening it despite Basil's pleas and leaves. The blond boy feels himself drop to the floor, his already bruised knees aching against the tiles. Basil locks the bathroom door once he hears Sunny walk downstairs, placing his head into his arms against the floor to not hear any more. He can just feel the wet tiles and his tears wetting his arms.

This is enough, he can't take anymore of this. It's enough and that's okay. Maybe there wasn't anything left for him to do here, or if there was anything in the first place. That's okay with him, he can return to the dirt he nurtured so much in his life. It was the only thing that you can love and it can love you fully back. No one went searching for him when he ran and Sunny probably just wanted to gawk at the sight.

It's okay, they both get a final look at each other. He was just glad he could look at his pretty face a last time, he looked just the same. Just how he remembered except he seemed thinner, that was fine. Basil loved him either way, even if Sunny didn't love him back. He was just happy knowing what he felt was real.

-

After a while in the bathroom, a knock pounded on the door. "BAAAAASIL!! WE'RE LEAVING NOW!!!!" From the obnoxious tone, he guessed Kel. But he didn't want to see anyone right now, or anymore. He had enough. Basil heard Kel speaking quietly to Sunny, "Poor guy has a stomach ache, hope he's okay." He could barely hear it through the door. It didn't matter that Kel 'cared', it was all over for him.

He was okay with that.

And everyone else would be as well.

Chapter Text

Everyone was gone now. He'd heard the door shut and he'd heard Polly muttering to herself, probably about him. She probably hates him, she probably wants him to die. That's fine. He'd want that if he knew him too.

She didn't come to check on him, she stayed downstairs and away from Basil. So, he knew it was safe to leave the bathroom without confrontation and he did so quickly; making it into his bedroom with a loud slam of his door.

At the noise, he closed his eyes tightly. Waiting for her to come upstairs and shout at him, but she didn't. That's good. She probably thinks she'll give him 'space'.

Basil can't tell if that's a good thing or not.

-

Now he was in his room, all alone. The window was open and the familiar cold was back in his room. His legs felt heavy when he walked over to close it, there was a slam when it closed.

Now, his plan was to just wait until it was night. Then he could act, doing his last act in his life.

He'll spend his final hours doing what he enjoyed. He'll spend it being convenient for Polly when collecting his things.

-

Later that night, he'd done all he needed to by about midnight. Perfect. Basil had: Firstly, he'd cleaned his room. Though, it was already clean so it hasn't taken long. Secondly, he'd talked to his plants for a little while, but only the ones in his room. The ones in his room were the ones that he had during the time he was friends with them all, they were his favourites. Thirdly, he'd finished off the page he'd been working on in all their shared notebooks. Bossman Hero was done, that was great. The universe is mostly finished, when he dies he hopes to return to it. Even if it's just a delusion. Lastly, he'd picked up the skipping rope under his bed.

Was he going to leave a note? No. His note would be his many notebooks and they'd all go to Sunny when he died. He'd leave a little note just for Sunny, only Sunny. He was the only one worth it.

Basil moves his desk chair to underneath his door handle, now it wouldn't open. He couldn't be stopped now. Picking up a small plant, he places the white tulip onto the stack of notebooks on his desk and takes the rickety stool it was sat on and places it in the center of the room.

His bedroom had a hook attached to the ceiling that had been there since he was young that no one knew why it was there, not even him. But it came in handy now.

Taking the skipping rope into his hand, he feels the roughness against his skin. He should've frayed the rope in water a couple of days before, it would leave a rope burn. He'd be dead, would it even be worth caring about?

Basil looks down at the stool, he was in a nice outfit. He should take his shoes off, he shouldn't track dirt into the afterlife. Or the dreamstate they'd made up which he wishes so much to enter. He'd be fine with either as long as he could see Mari and apologize.

Kicking his shoes off, he swings the rope over the hook on the ceiling. He was really doing it. It made him smile a little bit as he begins tying it into a noose.

With a deep breath, he steps onto the stool, he was almost falling already. That means he'd succeed. Bringing the rope around his neck, his knees buckled slightly.

Then, he just stood there. On top of a stool, holding a rope around his neck with tears threatening to spill over, would anyone notice if he left? Probably not.

Breathing in shakily, he tightens it around his neck and kicks the stool away.