Archive of Our Own ^beta

When Steve Harrington was asked for a quote by Hawkins High’s newspaper on life advice, Steve had said “Take care of your hair and your body so you can enjoy as many days as possible”. However, if you found him while he was drunk and/or vulnerable enough, his real lesson he’d learned that he’d give was “learn how to be alone”. That meant both developing independence and being able to be lonely without wanting to die (sometimes, Steve still struggled with that second one).

It was no big secret why Steve had to learn how to be alone. His parents traveled a lot for work since Steve was small. Well, it was technically his father’s job that needed him to be out of town so much, but, well…

Everyone knows the business of Steve Harrington’s parents, although it’s handled as if they shouldn’t. John Harrington’s an asshole to both his son and his wife, and is constantly traveling for work, and the reason his wife goes with him is to prevent him from increasing the likelihood that Steve has a half-sibling. They used to be home more, but these days, they’re a rare sight, and Mr. and Mrs. Harrington are ridiculously hard to get a hold of, so most people stopped trying. But just because everyone knows something… doesn’t necessarily mean it’s the truth.

See, Steve learned the importance of keeping up appearances from his parents. And, an essential piece of that is oftentimes, people accept things that appear to be true as true even if they are not true. What seems likely is accepted as reality. So Steve complains about his parents, and keeps their bedroom dusted and clean but otherwise untouched even though he knows they're never coming home to use it again.

The truth was, Steve’s parents had died when he was fifteen. It had been a helicopter crash. But John Harrington’s business partner, Jedidiah Stane, had found out first, and he knew how difficult things were about to get for Steve. And, bless him, the man wanted to make things as least difficult for Steve as possible. So Mr. Stane took care of the death certificates and the funeral proceedings so Steve didn’t have to, and Steve’s parents were buried with family far from Hawkins in a quiet funeral, and Mr. Stane took over the company with Steve’s blessing, and Mr. Stane and the lawyers more or less kept the helicopter crash quiet. Back in Hawkins, no one knew Steve’s parents were dead. Mr. Stane and the lawyers made sure Steve had access to his parents’ funds, and the house was in Steve’s name but maintained by his parents’ funds, and Steve provided for himself. He didn’t need a guardian to take care of himself, and he only had a little bit before he was an adult. 

Naturally, Steve went to the funeral, and he mourned, maybe even still was in mourning, but he kept it private. And despite being okay without them, he did miss his parents, in his own way. It sucked that they couldn’t attend any of his games or teach him how to drive, and that they weren’t there when Steve got his license and bought his first car. He brought his lawyer so he didn’t get screwed by the salesman, but it wouldn’t have been the same. And there were no more family holidays. But there was also no more fear. No more arguments that shook the house and ended in broken glass. No more having to come home and continue performing.

So Steve was coping. Hell, in some ways, Steve was thriving. And all Steve had to do was make it to eighteen. Mr. Stane left Steve to his own devices, as he had never been a father and didn’t see the need to be Steve’s parent. It wasn’t like Steve knew him well anyway. Mr. Stane helped him out when he had to, but Steve tried to bother him as little as possible. Eventually, when Steve was an adult, it wouldn’t even matter if his parents were alive or not.

⌂

Nancy Wheeler was the first girl that Steve had ever wanted to introduce to his parents before. Everyone else before her that Steve had dated was at best just dating short-term because he didn’t feel a spark or think they were compatible, or worse, that he was just being a playboy. But Nancy Wheeler was different. Steve was crazy for her. She didn’t take shit from anyone, but humored the way he’d act a fool around her to get her to smile, at least somewhat. She was smart, driven, and had goals that ensnaring a rich boy like Steve wasn’t necessary to achieve. She was also kind. They met through Steve needing a tutor for a few subjects, and Steve immediately thought she was beautiful. As he got to know her, he only fell harder for Nancy.

His dad would have thought Nancy was too headstrong and opinionated, but his mother would have loved Nancy.

Instead, Steve tried to integrate Nancy with the closest thing he had left to family: his best friends, Tommy Hagan and Carol Perkins. Other than the truth about his parents and his living situation, Tommy and Carol knew just about everything about Steve. They had their flaws, but everyone had flaws, and Steve really believed that Tommy and Carol genuinely cared about Steve just as much as Steve cared about them.

Because of this, Steve had thought his friends would be happy for him when informed that Steve and Nancy were going steady. It was a surprise, then, to learn that Tommy and Carol didn’t like Nancy and weren’t happy for him. On the outside, Steve focused on trying to persuade his friends to just give Nancy a chance, but on the inside, he felt hurt - he felt the rejection of her as a rejection of him, too. But he just had to swallow that and hope it got better. What was that in the face of his grief?

But it didn’t get better, though he tried to be the bridge. In fact, it got worse. The party was supposed to help. Get everyone off the stage that was high school. Except Barb Holland never made it home. And then Jonathan Byers had to take those pictures. And Steve felt so violated on both his and Nancy’s behalfs that he took it a step too far. And then Nancy and Jonathan were together at the wrong time, and Steve really made an ass of himself. 

Turns out, monsters existed. Turns out, you could become a monster hunter at sixteen. Turns out, a girl died in Steve Harrington’s pool (well, kind of - through his pool and into an alternate universe version). 

The ghost of Barb Holland lingered just as the ghosts of Mr. and Mrs. Harrington did.

⌂

For the second time in his life, Steve had to grow up before he was ready, to be an adult when he was still technically a minor. It meant once again setting aside some of his youthful ties. He wished it didn’t have to include Tommy Hagan and Carol Perkins. He truly loved his former best friends. But he had to decide what kind of person he wanted to be, and he didn't want to be the person he was with them. It wasn’t only about being good enough for Nancy, and he wouldn’t share the truth about his parents with Nancy either.

But there was no going back now that he had seen what he’d seen.

⌂

For a little while, Steve had to be extra careful. Being involved put Steve on Hopper’s radar as more than just the local party boy. Or, maybe the local party boy that had trauma now, and so might need adult guidance or something before he became another Jay Gatsby in his pool.

(He studied hard with Nancy on that book, let him have that.)

Maybe it was also about Steve getting a little beat up, first by Jonathan and then by the Demogorgon. But he was taking care of himself, had even gotten patched up a bit after the Byers fight at the station. Besides, any medical attention other than his yearly physical could get people asking the wrong questions. Luckily, Steve was able to avoid actually getting admitted to the hospital himself. He was able to inform the staff that his wounds had already been seen to (which was partially true) and that he wasn’t in that much pain and had resources to take care of himself (which was a little less true, but not a total lie). 

Fortunately for Steve, Hopper seemed to have lost interest in keeping an eye on him around Christmas and New Year’s. He didn’t know why, but he wasn’t going to look a gift horse in the mouth. He just had to lay low a bit for about a year and a half, and once he was eighteen, he’d be in the clear.  With everything reconciled with his brilliant Nancy, and the new camera as a peace offering to Jonathan, it was going to be okay.

⌂

The rest of Steve’s junior year was relatively smooth sailing. Steve may have no longer been King Steve, but he still held the school’s favor. He hung out with the basketball team sometimes and continued to win them games. Time with his girlfriend was always precious, even when they were just studying. There were no more parties at the Harrington household because the ghosts were too prevalent, but he still went to parties, and he told people who asked that the house was undergoing some renovations. And Steve even got some major awards for his swim team performances (even though he was no longer comfortable swimming in his own pool).

One of the best things about his junior year was definitely taking Nancy to his junior prom. Steve got a new suit for the occasion and spent extra time on his hair. Nancy looked even more beautiful, with her curls treated and wearing a pretty pink tea-length dress. He took Nancy to dinner at Enzo’s, and they partied at the prom. It was an amazing night, and Steve would swear he fell in love with Nancy all over again multiple times over.

Steve didn’t make it out with the best final grades for the year, but hey, he had to deal with a concussion and monsters existing. He passed everything at least, and he got help from Nancy. And his senior year would hopefully be better.

⌂

Steve’s summer was spent lifeguarding at Hawkins Community Pool, hanging out with his girlfriend and his friends, and doing whatever else he wanted. He even offered to let Mike Wheeler and his friends play D&D at his house sometimes. They didn’t always have it at his, because Joyce Byers was only really comfortable with it if Nancy or Jonathan was going to be there (understandable since Steve and Joyce only interacted briefly), but Mr. and Mrs. Wheeler appreciated having breaks from hosting, and the boys loved taking advantage of getting Steve to buy them food. Steve didn’t get the appeal of the nerdy game, but it felt good to do something nice for the boys, and he actually appreciated the noise. For Fourth of July, Steve got invited to the Wheelers’ cookout, and he made sure to bring something to stay within their good graces.

School came back sooner than Steve would have liked, but at least he was a senior. There was respect and prestige in being a senior. This was going to be his big year. He had one more shot at winning big and getting a sports scholarship. Only a short time until he was eighteen and free from pretending.

⌂

And his year was great, up until October. Everything went wrong in October. First it was Billy Hargrove. People had moved to Hawkins before, but it wasn’t common, and none of them had caused a stir in Hawkins High like Billy Hargrove did. It was more his “exotic” surfer boy looks than anything initially, but Hargrove was confident to the point of cockiness, and that energy was unfortunately magnetic for many of Steve’s classmates. Equally unfortunate, Hargrove basked in the attention and appeared to be pursuing popularity to the point of going after Steve’s image. But if it was only Billy Hargrove, then Steve could have handled him.

But then on Halloween, Nancy was upset at school, and she carried that to the party. And Steve wished she would take it easier on herself, but then her punch spilled, and so her anger spilled out too.

“Bullshit,” she threw in his face.

And what made it worse was that she couldn’t even remember hurting him worse than anything since his parents died, let alone seemed to understand the impact it had on him. She neither apologized nor could she tell him that she loved him.

There was hardly any time to worry about the fact that she vanished shortly after their fight, because after failing to reconnect at her house, there was Dustin Henderson, waving him down.

“Steve! Steve, hey buddy! Just the person I need!” Dustin babbled excitedly as he met Steve at his car.

“What’s up, Henderson?” Steve asked. 

“Do you still have that bat you used against the Demogorgon?” Dustin asked.

“Lucille? I keep it in the trunk. Why?” Steve replied.

Why, it turned out, was because Dustin had been keeping a baby demogorgon as a pet under everyone’s - or most of their - noses. Except the demogorgon was aging and growing at a truly alarming rate. As in, the grown enough to eat people’s pets kind of quick rate. So they had to hunt it down once it became clear that the thing was no longer contained in Henderson’s basement, and while Dustin was probably hoping they could capture it alive, Steve was readying himself to kill another monster.

And so they ended up in the unofficial junkyard (as opposed to the official junkyard), with Lucas and some random girl, and Steve ended up both trap-setter and bait. If that wasn’t enough, turns out, there was more than one mini-monster (though the mini ones weren’t even all that small). They had come out of the lab or been thrown up by poor Will Byers, and there were tunnels all under Hawkins. The real kicker in all this was that he learned the backstory in the house of the guy his girlfriend had cheated on him with, and now his job was to watch the kids while everyone else had some kind of fight.

But it would have been fine.

It would have, if not for the fact that little Max Mayfield was Billy Hargrove’s stepsister, and Billy was looking for a fight. Not that the latter part was exactly news (though the former had been a surprise), but Billy’s racism and his willingness to murder children certainly was. What other choice did Steve have but to fight him?

Of course, Billy Hargrove didn’t fight fair. It was game over once Hargrove broke a plate over Steve’s head. He hardly processed the rest of the beating he got that made him black out. And when he came to, Max was driving Steve’s car to the tunnels. Steve knew he protected the kids, but honestly, most of the rest of that night was remembered in bits and pieces by Steve. He knew they got in, they set the place aflame, Dustin convinced Dart to let them go, Steve drove them home to the Byerses’, and then…

⌂

It had not been the plan to wake up in the hospital, yet that was what Steve found himself doing. For some reason, he was no longer in the Byerses’ living room, which was where Steve last remembered being. No, instead he was lying in a hospital bed, which Steve was confused by. There’s no way he took himself to the hospital…

Yet, somehow, there he was.

Noticing a nurse doing something in his room, Steve asked, “How did I get here?”

The nurse looked up and immediately bustled over to him. “Oh, hello Mr. Harrington! Chief Hopper brought you in, said he found you. How are you feeling?”

Chief Hopper? Oh shit. Was his cover blown?

Steve tried to ask more questions, but instead, he was subjected first to an interrogation and exam by the nurse, and then a serious medical conversation with the doctor. On top of the cuts and bruises externally, some of his ribs were also internally bruised, and he also had a concussion. The scary part, though, was how it was apparently inconclusive whether he had permanent brain damage and damage to his ears and eyes. He kind of understood, because of the concussion and the fact that Steve apparently had been sleeping a lot, but these were medical professionals, how could they not know?

Speaking of sleeping a lot, Steve crashed right after that conversation.

When he woke up again, Hopper was sitting in a chair next to him.

“Hey, kid. Heard you’ve been in and out. How are you?” Hopper asked.

“I’m surviving,” said Steve, trying to smile winningly.

“Surviving, huh? I’m not sure that hiding your parents’ deaths is all that good for surviving,” said Hopper.

Sighing, Steve said, “So you found out about that.”

“For what it’s worth, I’m sorry for your loss, kid,” said Hopper.

“I’m okay now, but thanks, Chief,” said Steve.

“You know what you’ve been doing is incredibly dangerous, right?” Hopper attempted gentleness.

“Not really, I mean, it’s not like I’m a small child,” said Steve.

“It doesn’t matter as long as you’re a minor, you could die in your house and no one would ever know,” said Hopper, frustration leaking in.

“So could any adult who lives alone, and there’s a ton of them,” said Steve.

“That’s not the point,” said Hopper.

“I’m a high school senior, I’m almost eighteen, can’t you just let it go?” said Steve, half pleading, half frustrated.

“Steve, your birthday’s in April, this is November, you still have six months until your birthday, half a year’s not exactly ‘almost’,” said Hopper. “And legally and morally, I can the hell not ‘just let it go’.”

“So can’t you help me get like emancipated or something?” said Steve. “I’ve basically been emancipated the whole time, like the lawyers said it would be-”

“‘Basically’ is not the same as actually, legally emancipated. And because ‘basically’ was illegal, it’s going to be difficult if not impossible for you to become emancipated for real,” said Hopper. “The government’s position is that you and your ‘guardian’ exhibited poor judgment, and you have been placed temporarily under my care until it’s decided what should be done.”

“Oh come on, Chief-” Steve protested.

“Look, Harrington, we’re in the - the madness together, I’m gonna make sure I put you with the best person I can,” said Hopper. “Maybe Joyce-”

“Not Ms. Byers, Chief, that’s a bad idea,” said Steve, shaking his head.

“How? She’s a good mom, and she knows about all this-”

“Exactly,” said Steve. “Look, her youngest son almost died twice in the past year and needs his mom’s focus on supporting him now more than ever. Her boyfriend just fucking died in front of her. She’s already got a lot on her plate, and foisting me on her would do her more harm than good, and I won’t be a burden on her-”

“You’re not a burden-”

“You’re missing my point. She doesn’t have an extra bedroom, and I’m not sharing a bedroom with either a thirteen-year-old or the guy my ex-girlfriend left me for, and I won’t put either of them out of their rooms. And unless she uses my money, which she’d refuse to, their budget can’t afford another mouth to feed. Come on, Chief. It’s not reasonable, and totally unfair to Ms. Byers - I thought you were friends,” said Steve.

“We are, and knowing anything beyond that isn’t your business,” said Hopper sternly. But he did sigh and add, “But you are right. It wouldn’t be the best situation.”

“Not the Wheelers either, if I have to say,” said Steve.

“God no, that would be even worse,” said Hopper. After a moment of thought, he sighed again and said, “I honestly might just have to keep you, that may be the most discreet option, and it would probably be good for both you and El.”

“Can we live in my house, then?” said Steve. “I know the cabin is like remote and that’s what makes it safe, but I have the house paid for and it’s bigger.”

Hopper looked like he was thinking hard for a few moments. “It’s risky… but El will need to transition into her new identity eventually, if I can finalize arrangements with Owens. It might be something we transition into.”

As long as he got back home eventually, Steve could live with that.

⌂

As Hopper said, the change in custody was done quietly. Steve hoped Jedidiah Stane wasn’t going to get in too much trouble, but he couldn't be sure, because Mr. Stane never ended up making it to Steve’s hospital room. Instead, Steve got to see Hopper’s face after learning just how much money and assets the Harringtons had.

El was openly curious about him when Hopper was able to get Steve out of the hospital and to the cabin, and El and Steve were properly introduced. In the back of his mind, Steve wondered if she’d end up another one of his kids, something like a sibling, or if all they’d be to each other would just be Hopper’s strays.

In line with his promise of discretion, Hopper took Steve up to the school on Friday right at the end of the day to have Steve’s records changed. Principal Higgins was taken aback, to say the least, when the situation was explained to him.  He had completely written off the fact that the office could never get ahold of the Harrington parents or arrange parent-teacher conferences. Steve had done a good job, but he could tell Hopper was pretty ticked that no one had raised a concern with the police.

Afterward, they went over to Steve’s house to get some things. However, upon arrival, they found a group of teens and an apologetic Joyce Byers on Steve’s doorstep. As soon as Steve got out of the car, the Party all started talking over each other.

“Steve! El said you were living with her now!” Mike said loudest (and angrily).

Sighing, Steve said, “Come on in, I’ll explain.” It was better that they heard it from him than anywhere else.

As they settled in the living room, Steve shrugged and said, “There’s not much to tell. My parents died in a helicopter crash when I was fifteen. But things would get really complicated with my dad’s business and my life, so we pretended it hadn’t happened except for stuff like the death certificates, the funeral, and arrangements for the company. I technically had a guardian, but I’ve lived by myself ever since. But people found out when I was in the hospital, so they changed who’s in charge of me and it’s Hopper now.”

It was silent for a moment.

“So you’re an orphan?” said Dustin, sympathetic and surprised.

“Yeah,” said Steve.

“I was never going to meet your parents, was I?” said Nancy.

“Does it matter now?” Steve asked, with a pointed glance at Nancy’s hand holding Jonathan’s hand.

Nancy seemed to sort of… shut down. Steve almost felt bad.

“Wasn’t it hard? And lonely?” asked Will softly.

It was. But Steve couldn’t say that, not like that. “It seemed like the right decision at the time. I got some power and control back when I didn’t have it then. But I was on my own.”

Stepping up to his side, El looked up and said, “I was on my own too. But neither of us have to be now.”

Steve smiled and ruffled her hair, even if internally, he doubted.

⌂

Despite the fact that this was supposed to remedy the wrong decision made in the interest of secrecy, changing the emergency contact and guardian information for Steve at the school was supposed to be a private affair as it should be for all students, and it was never intended for the change or the reasons for it to get out to those who weren’t Steve’s teachers or the student body. Unfortunately, they failed to take into account that this was juicy gossip worthy of a soap opera, and it was a bonus for the citizens of Hawkins that it was about the wealthy and aloof Harringtons. So everyone knew by the time Steve arrived for school on Monday.

Steve was ready to leave once he realized, and he would have if it wasn’t for Nancy, dragging both him and Jonathan into school.

“If you leave, it will only be worse for you,” said Nancy.

Pulling his arm out of her grip, Steve said, “Thanks for the advice,” and walked away.

Whispers followed him, but Steve did his best to ignore it all. He may be going through a fall from grace, half because of Hargrove and half because of the reveal of his biggest secret, but Steve wasn’t going to let them see him react. But it was a little unnerving that even his first period teacher looked at him with a loaded expression. It was probably only going to get worse here on in - and Steve hated being right about that.

As soon as he saw Steve enter the gym for second period, Tommy Hagan speed-walked toward him as he practically shouted, “Steve! We need to talk.”

“I don’t think we do,” said Steve, trying to project calmness and boredom although that very much wasn’t what he was feeling internally.

“What do you need to bother with the Princess Snow White for?” Hargrove scoffed.

Briefly spinning to Hargrove, Tommy shot, “This one’s personal, mind your own business.” Then he turned back to Steve and said a bit quieter but probably still audible, “What the hell, man? For three years, you made us think you were fine-”

“Because I was,” said Steve, interrupting him. 

“The hell you were,” said Tommy. “You were grieving. I know you, you had to be feeling guilty-”

“Actually, not much changed between before they died and after they died,” said Steve. “Once all the affairs were in order, my life stayed the same.”

“You changed,” said Tommy.

Steve didn’t know how to refute that, because the thing was, it was true, even if it probably wasn’t true for all the reasons Tommy Hagan was assuming.

“What are you trying to say, Tommy? We’re not best friends anymore,” said Steve.

“But we were best friends when it happened!” Tommy exploded. “We were and you didn’t at least let me in on it.”

“Look, what happened was tragic, yeah, but I was better off without them than I ever was with them. Some things were harder, but I managed on my own,” said Steve, giving his former best friend a bit of the truth. “You were a kid too. What could you have done?”

“I could have supported you like a best friend does, but you didn’t even let me try, you self-sacrificing asshole!” Tommy snapped, to Steve’s surprise.

For a moment, Steve felt guilty. But then he didn’t. “Like you supported me when I was starting to date Nancy?”

It was Tommy’s turn to look surprised. But then his face darkened and he snapped, “You had already shut me out and started changing in front of me but then you started changing yourself all over again just for some girl. She’s arrogant and self-righteous and pretentious, but you refused to see that she thought you were just a handsome idiot that’d make a good boytoy because you were too busy asking ‘how high’ when she said ‘jump’. And she turned you into being the same exact way, and now she’s gone and left you in the dust for someone not nearly as good as you in literally any way-”

“I changed for me!” Steve snapped back. “I changed because hey, becoming an orphan makes you rethink your life. I changed because I want people to think of me better, and because when I die, I don’t want people to be relieved like I was about my parents! I changed because we left Barb Holland outside alone at night and that caused her death!”

“Wait, is that really why you and Wheeler broke up - because she thinks you bedding her makes you both responsible for Barb Holland’s death? By that logic, she’d blame me and Carol too - hell, what about Byers, who she left you for, who actually was out in the woods creeping around and could have actually seen and done something?” Tommy demanded.

Part of Steve thought that Tommy was making a good point about Jonathan. But the other part of Steve didn’t want to give him the satisfaction.

“Maybe we all are,” said Steve.

The confrontation was interrupted by the basketball coach entering the gym. “And what are you all standing around in your civvies like lazy assholes for? Harrington, with me. The rest of you get changed, then you can start your warm-ups with fifty laps around the gym!”

Steve stepped back from Tommy and toward Coach. Tommy kept up his glare at Steve, but he obeyed Coach’s instructions with the rest.

“Come on, Harrington, let’s talk,” said Coach, walking to his office.

Reluctantly, Steve followed him.

Coach waited until they were both sitting before he sighed. “Don’t suppose you’re going to tell me why you’re beat to shit and you can’t play for a few weeks?’

It wasn’t the question Steve had been dreading most, but he still didn’t particularly want to answer it. He couldn’t explain most of what happened, and snitching on Hargrove would probably only make that situation worse.

After a silence, Coach sighed again and said, “I get it, but there’s only so much I can do to help you if you don’t let me… you know I would’ve done more for you if I knew that your parents had died when they did, right?” The man wore care and gentleness awkwardly.

Steve knew there were right and wrong answers: not necessarily obviously unconsciously expected, but rather that saying the right or wrong thing could greatly affect how well he navigated this conversation.

“I know now that you would have, of course,” Steve began, slow and careful. “But you see, at first, they didn’t know if it had truly been an accident or if the helicopter my parents were on was tampered with on purpose, either by a business competitor or just someone who wanted my parents’ money. It was scary, and my lawyer wasn’t sure I could trust anyone.”

“I see,” said Coach. “Well, we’ll have to put a lot more work into getting you a sports scholarship. We’ll have to chat about it with your swim coach too. Until you’re cleared to play again, I’ve arranged for you to go to tutoring in the library during gym. Work on bringing up your grades and your application essays. Unfortunately it’s not just ball these scouts care about. Now go on! Off with you!”

“Yes sir,” said Steve, relieved as he got up and was about to be free.

“Oh, and Steve?” Coach called out.

“Yeah?” said Steve, turning to him.

“I went to school with Jim Hopper. Everybody knew he had a mean old man. There were never any problems when his girl was alive, but some people are harder on their sons than their daughters. If he turns mean like his daddy, you let somebody know, okay?” said Coach, suddenly even more serious.

“I will, Coach,” said Steve before finally escaping the gym.

⌂

So things for Steve were weird now. Life had gone from everyone ignoring what was right in front of them because they saw something different to everyone refusing to leave him alone. It wasn’t just how Hopper had Steve playing House with him and El. It wasn’t even that plus the way they ended up having dinner with the Byerses and Joyce would fuss like the anxious mom she was. 

It was all that plus everyone else. Tommy Hagan, with and without Carol Perkins, kept trying to finish that conversation with Steve (the most recent time, he’d gotten out of it because Jason Carver interrupted with “Was it really so bad that Steve changed? Sometimes God gives us challenges so that we can grow and change our ways”, and just about everyone else on the team had jumped on him, either with “Not the time, Carver” or asking if he really though Steve’s parents were killed by God). On the other side was Nancy Wheeler, occasionally aided or impeded by Jonathan Byers, who saw fit to try inserting herself into certain aspects of Steve’s life despite Steve telling her he wasn’t ready to be friends yet, after how she hurt him. The Party kids gave him a walkie-talkie just to call him for what felt like every little thing, and as much as Steve enjoyed the real hangouts and tolerated the favors and errands, none of it was exactly subtle. He had casual friends at school, everybody from fellow swimmer and lifeguard Heather Holloway to pretty dud Tammy Thompson to basketball teammate Patrick McKinney, reaching out, even just to make small talk. Even Billy Hargrove, despite Max having threatened him with Steve’s nail bat, alternated between distancing himself and ignoring Steve, taunting him, and tolerating his presence and acting like they were friends or frenemies. And then there was Eddie Munson, who was surprisingly sympathetic, and beyond some cafeteria table shout-outs and offers of drugs, actually didn’t ask any questions or bother him.

It was too much. Steve hated being alone, but he hated this too. He knew some of these people genuinely loved or cared about him, but a lot of it couldn’t be trusted. It wasn’t going to last, surely. They would get bored eventually, or decide that he was fine now and he didn’t need them anymore. And since a lot of it was insincere, at least to him, that made things frustrating. And there was the whole fact of having spent almost three years doing everything for himself and being independent to all of a sudden being treated like a child who knew nothing and was reliant on others. The time to treat him like a child was when he was one and his parents started leaving him to fend for himself. It wasn’t helpful now, when he was almost eighteen and almost graduated from high school. He used to be only accountable to himself and what he chose to be, but now he had shit getting in his way like curfews and parent-teacher conferences (he would swear they made extra for him as revenge or something).

But the part he hated most was that he didn’t hate it as much as he should. He kinda liked hanging out with El after school and practice, getting to know her and teaching her how to be a real teenager, especially after she got her papers as Jane Hopper, and El and Hop moved into Steve’s home. It was kinda fun teaching Hopper and El to cook when they were having a family dinner or just whenever he cooked, since El didn’t know how and Hopper wasn’t much better. It was nice to have people to sit with at lunch and with who he could have conversations that were normal teenager conversations. He appreciated being able to save some money now that Hopper either did the grocery shopping himself or gave Steve money back when he went, and he helped out with or even fully paid utilities like water and electricity. The help with household chores was nice too. And as much as it was annoying that Hopper and his coaches were on his ass about his grades and his college applications, getting the help was actually starting to make him feel more confident about getting his sports scholarship.

Sometimes, Steve wondered what his parents would make of all of this. They would probably hate that the image they cultivated was gone now. But Steve found freedom in honestly being himself.