Chapter Text
There were many rules about what you could eat in Cloud Recesses — you couldn’t eat more than three bowls of rice, you couldn’t kill fish or other animals — or how you could eat — silently and neatly. But there were relatively few about where you could eat. The main stipulation was that you were not allowed to eat in rooms dedicated to learning or knowledge, such as the library. As a result, some Lans ate in the dining halls, and some took their food privately in their own chambers. As far as Wei Wuxian knew, Lan Zhan had always done the latter.
But now, his heart was racing as he followed Lan Zhan towards the dining hall. His lover didn’t go inside, though — he went to a small table outside it, under the spreading, shady branches of a flowering plum tree. “Wait here,” Lan Zhan said quietly.
Wei Wuxian obediently seated himself as Lan Zhan swept away. But then his gaze was inexorably pulled towards the dining hall, whose doors and windows were wide open. The Lans tended to be eerily silent when they ate, except for the faint click of spoons and chopsticks on dishes. But now the silence was of an entirely different kind — he could see countless eyes watching him intently, many hands frozen over their meals.
“Senior Wei!” one youthful voice called out from one table. Someone waved furiously.
“Not while eating!” another voice said cautiously.
“I’m already finished!”
Wei Wuxian grinned, and waved back. After many years of being hated and feared, it was nice to have a few people glad to see him again.
He looked up as Lan Zhan reappeared beside him, balancing a tray on one hand. With immense care and precision, his lover placed several small bowls and dishes in front of him, before sitting down himself. A few gasps came from the dining hall — they had probably never seen the exalted, elegant Hanguang-jun serve someone else food.
Lan Zhan’s lips were ever so slightly turned up, his eyes soft as they seemed to drink in the sight of his beloved. Wei Wuxian felt a warm, giddy sensation run through his body, and he couldn’t help but smile as the two men gazed at one another across the table. “Lan Zhan,” he said in a hushed voice. “Didn’t you get any for yourself?”
“Not hungry.”
Now that he had food in front of him, Wei Wuxian very much was. The food wasn’t the spicy fare that he liked best — the Lan didn’t really like strong flavors like that — and it didn’t have any meat. But it didn’t taste bad. The soup had a delicate flavor, the rice was fragrant, and there was a tofu dish that he vaguely remembered from his first time in Cloud Recesses. It was a little bitter, a little sweet, and though it wasn’t to his taste, he ate every scrap of it.
As he finished, he became aware that almost everybody in the dining hall was still watching the two of them. One of the Lan rules was to not gossip, he thought, but he was pretty sure that at least a few of them would be breaking that rule today. The question was, would they have figured out that Lan Wangji and the Yiling Patriarch were now officially more than close friends?
He had just finished his food when a cluster of the young boys came streaming out of the dining hall. Their eyes were bright, and their voices rose like the chirping of sparrows as they encircled the table.
“Hanguang-jun!”
“Senior Wei!”
“Senior Wei, when did you get back?” Lan Jingyi said eagerly.
“Just this morning,” Wei Wuxian said, smiling.
“Are you staying here long?”
“Hopefully.”
Some of the boys’ smiles faltered. “But… when Master Lan finds out…” one of them said.
Wei Wuxian glanced over at Lan Zhan, who was still gazing at him steadily. “Don’t worry about that old… Master Lan,” he said. “We’ll figure out that problem later.”
*
They spent much of the day in the Tranquility Room, completely alone save for one another.
Lan Zhan changed into softer, more casual white robes, and had loosed his hair from its usual high silver ornament, letting it fall around his face. It made him look less imposing, less icy, less distant, less formal — and somehow more ethereal and elegant than ever. Wei Wuxian had only seen him like that under two circumstances: when he had just finished bathing, and when they were alone together.
For the moment, he had to restrain himself from taking liberties that he had only been able to think about — touching that forbidden ribbon, running his fingers through that silken hair, finding out if Lan Zhan’s skin was as soft as it looked. They had moved so quickly from friendship to love that it almost took his breath away — and he didn’t want to accidentally misstep by trying to rush things.
“Wei Ying…” Lan Zhan said shortly after they returned. “Tell me of your journey.”
Wei Wuxian did as he said. The two of them sat alone in the room, their hands tightly entwined, as he described his travels. The places he had been, the people he had met, the creatures he had dispelled from little towns and remote farms for the people there. As he did, gazing into Lan Zhan’s beautiful dark eyes, their fingers brushing one another’s, the loneliness that threaded through those days became even more obvious to him. Not just the moments he had consciously noticed, but the undercurrent of aloneness as he had drifted without aim or destination.
Lan Zhan listened to every story intently, drank in every single word. He spoke rarely, and even then, it was mostly to urge Wei Wuxian to keep talking. As he turned towards the lamp, his face was illuminated with a warm light that caressed his fair skin and dark eyes, and caused the silver seal on his brow to shine like a star.
And when Wei Wuxian was done speaking… they kissed.
It was different than than it had been that morning. Then it had been wild, urgent, bursting with the newness of their realized feelings for one another. Now it was… more like they were slowly exploring one another’s touch, savoring the experience rather than diving headfirst into it. Wei Wuxian felt almost dizzy from the firm pressure of Lan Zhan’s hands and the strength of his arms, the warmth and wetness of his mouth, those soft lips, the brush of smooth skin… the shiver that ran through them both when Lan Zhan pressed him against the wall…
A memory flashed through his head — of another night long ago, when they had spent the night in another room in Cloud Recesses. That had been less romantic, as Wei Wuxian had spent half the night babysitting a drunk Lan Zhan, who had alternated between disoriented wandering and standoffish mopiness. But now that he thought about it… what might have happened if he had kissed Lan Zhan back then instead of forcing him to drink wine? Would the icy, beautiful boy have pushed him away, or would they have found a use for that bed?
I was such a dumbass back then, Wei Wuxian thought hazily as Lan Zhan pressed against him, tilting his head back as his kissing became more forceful. Why the hell didn’t I try anything back then? Why did it take me so long? Why did I ever think he had a crush on Mianmian? Hell, he had even teased Lan Zhan by saying no girl would want to marry him… not yet knowing that the one he would want to marry wouldn’t be a girl.
A thousand moments of closeness, where their hearts had harmonized despite their wildly different personalities — a connection that couldn’t be broken even when they were on opposing sides. And now that they were in each other’s arms, it felt like he had been an idiot for not realizing how deep that connection could go… and how far it could take them now that they were finally together.
A knock at the door. “Hanguang-jun?”
Both men froze immediately, their bodies entangled on the floor. Then they slowly looked towards the front door.
Maybe if we don’t say or do anything, Wei Wuxian thought, they’ll go away…
But the knock came again.
Lan Zhan reluctantly slipped his hands free from Wei Wuxian’s body, and rose to his feet. Somehow his robes fell into clean unrumpled lines as he strode towards the door — and though Wei Wuxian had been kissing him with all his strength, his lips looked pristinely untouched. And when the door opened, Lan Zhan opened it just wide enough to look outside, but not enough for the disciple outside to see Wei Wuxian sitting in the middle of the room.
“Pardon me, Hanguang-jun,” a voice floated through the room. “Teacher Lan says that new paperwork has come in for you. He says it’s urgent.”
There was a long pause. “Very well,” Lan Zhan said quietly. “Tell him I will be there soon.
He slid the door shut, and looked back at Wei Wuxian.
Wei Wuxian wanted to slump over and groan at being interrupted, but he pasted on a smile and waved. “Go on, Hanguang-jun. I’ll wait for you here.”
“I will not be long.”
Wei Wuxian let his smile slip when the door shut behind Lan Zhan. He settled down at the table to have another cup of wine, before dropping onto Lan Zhan’s bed. He had already been in that bed before — when Lan Zhan had first brought him back to Cloud Recesses, and after Jin Ling had stabbed him. But now… now it felt different.
His eyelids felt heavy, but he was determined to stay awake until Lan Zhan got back to him. Now that they were together, he didn’t want to waste a single minute together… didn’t want to be without Lan Zhan unless it was absolutely necessary. He usually slept later in the night than Lan Zhan did, but on this particular night, he would doze off when his lover did…
… he just had to stay awake until Lan Zhan came back…