Chapter Text
The day of my wedding is finally here. I never expected to get married in this life. Especially to Wen Ruohan. I'm happy that A-Ying, A-Ning and A-Qing are going to be here with me. My parents tablets are prepared too. I spent the last weeks organizing everything. For some reason Ruohan didn't want me involved in anything else . I know he's planning something but I decided to leave it be. He will tell me when he's ready.
Now I'm wearing red. And in a moment I will meet my partner and we will take our bows. I must say that I'm excited. It's nice to not think about anything else other than my family. I don't remember the last time I was this relaxed.
"Uncle! You look amazing! "
A-Ying is soo cute! He looks great in Wen colors.He may be fifteen already but to me he is still that small child that I picked up in Yiling. I love seeing him free and unburdened.
"Do I?"
"Yes you do."
A-Qing is the same as last time...minus the fear of losing everything she holds dear. Seriously with me as a parent she should have ended more carefree! But she's even more strict than in my past life! Where did I go wrong?
"Thank you A-Qing. But shouldn't the two of you be at the banquet? And where is A-Ning?"
"Uncle! I had to see you ! And A-Ning is distracting the guards!"
I chuckled at that. Just imagining little Wen Ning distracting the guards is hilarious.
"Of course he is."
"And I wanted to tell you that you can still back off if you wanted."
Does she not want me to marry Ruohan? She never said anything before... although she did her frowning face when she heard about our engagement...
"Do you not want me to marry Ruohan?"
"Of course not! You deserve much more than our uncle! Just because he realized how amazing you are doesn't mean that I approve."
I burst out laughing. Of all the reasons that I expected this wasn't one of them. She thinks that Ruohan...her uncle by blood doesn't deserve me! This is great! I can't wait to tell him that! And she said it with such a straight face too!
"Don't laugh uncle! Jiejie is absolutely right! You deserve the best in the whole world!"
These lovely children. When they speak like that I can't help but want to keep them with myself forever. Where I can protect them all the time. Sadly I know that I can't and someday they will start their own families. And I know that A-Ying is going to be first...I see the way he looks at Wangji. Ruohan is right. He will end up marrying him and when that time comes I will stay by his side and support him...even if it means letting him go.
"And who do you think is the best?"
I changed my mind. They are even cuter when they have their thinking faces on.
"Listen. If there is one thing I have learned in my life is that love isn't in worthiness. I want to marry Ruohan because I love him. I feel safe with him. And that's all that matters. He makes me happy."
"Good. But if he does something to hurt you just tell me and I will stick him with my needles. I learned how to make someone impotent with just a few needles."
"And I will help!"
I wonder what face will Ruohan make when he hears of his dear niece's plans.
Our wedding went perfectly. All of the attending sects were sitting still and subdued. And for some reason I didn't see anyone from the Jin sect . There wasn't anyone from the Nie sect either...weird. Ruohan doesn't look worried. He looks happy. Very happy. Something good must have happened. I wonder who he killed to put him in such a good mood. I will ask him later when we're alone. I made my way to him and the ceremony began. It was simple. Just like I wanted. We made our three bows and celebrated with everyone our union. A-Ying was the loudest in congratulating us. He didn't leave Lan Wangji's side at all. He took him everywhere he went. And Lan Wangji let him. He accompanied A-Ying wherever he went and fed him all the snacks in the meantime. He didn't try to silence him either. It's weird... seeing them like that. But it's not unpleasant. As long as he doesn't mistreat A-Ying...I drank and spend the night watching as every sect leader except from the Lans tried to curry favor from Ruohan. Stupid people. Later he led us to our room and I waited till he took this awful veil off. I still don't know how everyone managed to talk me into wearing it. How do women deal with it?! It's so heavy and uncomfortable. Even if it doesn't cover my whole face! After what felt like eternity my head was finally free and Ruohan gave me a cup of wine. He knows me so well.
"Did you enjoy yourself A-Yue?"
"I did. Although I was surprised that no one from the Jin sect showed up."
I knew it. Just by looking at the pleased look in his eyes I can say that he had a hand in it.
"Will you tell me what you were up to when I was planning our wedding?"
"Is this really a conversation to be held on our wedding night?"
Of course! I waited the whole evening to ask that.
"Yes. Don't try to change the subject."
He sat beside me and took my wine away. Rude.
"Jin Guangshan is dead."
What? But I didn't do anything to that manwhore! How dare he die!
"Don't pout my love. I took care of him."
Why would he do this without me! I had so many ideas!
"Why? We were supposed to destroy the Jin's together!"
How could he?
"Because I saw how you lost yourself."
"What? When?"
"Don't get me wrong A-Yue. I don't care that the Jiang's are gone. I don't care that Jiang Yanli and Jiang Wanyin are dead. But I saw what it did to you. How lost in your powers you became. As lovely as you looked covered in their blood your eyes held no humanity in them."
What? What does he mean...why did he phrase it like that. I understand if he said that my eyes where emotionless...but why did he use the term humanity?
"I see that you're confused. A-Yue. You can use resentment without any side effects. No cultivator can do that. Have you never wondered why is that?"
I did. But I was focused on my revenge and children and later on my building relationship with Ruohan that I stopped questioning it.
"A-Yue. At Lotus Pier...Your eyes were red. And your nails were longer. Even your ears became a little pointed. I suspected it before but whatever ritual you used...it changed you. Or maybe it was the Burial Mounds itself."
Changed me how? Am I a demon?
"So what? You're saying I'm a demon? But I have a golden core!"
It's impossible...this shouldn't be happening.
"Not exactly. The interference of Burial Mounds changed you into something like a half demon. Honestly it's the first time I'm seeing one. The energies in your body coexist with each other. You are one of a kind A-Yue."
I'm...a half demon? Did he said that he suspected it?!
"Why? How did you know? Why didn't you tell me."
"In the beginning...the first time you lost control...I saw how your body changed. I think the outbursts that you were having weren't just trauma. It was your body adapting to the changes. The red flame on your forehead. I read that only demons got them. But you had a golden core which confused me. That's why I think you are only half demon. And to answer your second question. I didn't tell you because I wasn't sure how you will react when your body adapts to the changes besides you didn't hurt anyone.And later it didn't matter to me. So I simply forgot."
Alright...I understand why he didn't tell me before. And I know that it should scare me but it doesn't. I don't feel any different about myself.
"You don't care?"
"No. I don't care about what you are. I care about who you are. It's obvious that you're not used to your powers. You never learned how to use them and I never encouraged you to do so. We were too focused on anything else to do it but now I know it was a mistake. I don't want them to overwhelm you. So I thought that a break would do you some good. Spending time with our children. And I was right. You were happy. Calm. Unburdened. So I decided to take the matters in my own hands and deal with the rest of the pests."
This is kind of sweet. The way he cares about me. No one ever put me first.
"You really don't care?"
"Why should I? You are you."
I thought he would never surprise me anymore and of course he has to prove me wrong. I kissed him lightly on the lips.
"But that doesn't explain how Jin Guangshan died?"
The pleased look on his face was back. His smirk is deadly. My knees are weak...he knows what he's doing to me.
"As much as I would love to deal with them as we dealt with the Jiang's I decided not to. I met with Madam Jin and told her about my proposition. She was very happy to agree."
I have a feeling that she wasn't. She was Yu Ziyuan's sworn sister after all.
"And what was the proposition? Should I be jealous?"
"Never. I have my eyes on you only. I showed her the proof of her husband's infidelity."
"But she already knows it."
"Yes. But I still showed her a living proof. Especially Qin Su who is still unaware of her heritage."
He just had to rub salt on the wound. I like it . I never liked Madam Jin.
"I showed her proof of his other crimes . Especially about the women he sold into prostitution. I made it clear that I don't want him in power. I will not accept the elders who follows him too. So I told her that if she doesn't want to join her sworn sister she should take over the sect and execute them. She wasn't happy with this as it would shake the whole sect. With all of them dead her authority will be challenged at every turn. The Jin has many fractions. And all of them want power. She would have to fight with them to secure her son's future. If he lives to see that day that's it."
In other words the Jin's are going to be in a war with each other and other sects under their banner will use this opportunity to get some of their influence and resources away. Jin Zixuan will have a really hard time. He would have to look over his shoulder every day. Poison, assassination...there are many ways to get rid of someone. The Jin's will destroy itself. It's beautiful.
"That's perfect!"
"I knew you would like it. But now that you got all your answers can we go to the pleasant part of our wedding. Sweetheart you look breathtaking and I really can't stop myself anymore."
He was really patient.
"Then what are you waiting for? Kiss me husband."
And he did. He did so much more too.We spent a very long night filled with pleasure.
Three days. We could spend only three days away from our duties. Such blissful days. We spent them in our bed. I'm happy that my first time was with someone who truly loves me. I'm just angry that I couldn't share my first kiss with him too. Now that I think about it I hate how I lost it. To think a maiden would steal it from me and I don't even know her name. I feel cheated...
But I'm a little happy to see our little rascals. What I wasn't happy to see was A-Ying in tears when I went to check on him in his room. Whoever is responsible for that is going to pay.
"A-Ying. What happened?"
I hugged him tight and made sure to keep my voice calm. A-Ying needs reassurance and not my anger.Ruohan was right. My body does change. I could feel my nails getting longer and sharper. How did I not feel that before?
"I...I can't be...with... Lan Zhan."
What the fuck? Who said that? If Wangji made him feel like that...he better pray to all gods in existence for mercy because I will show him none.
"Why do you think so?"
He's just continuing crying. We won't get anywhere with him in this state.
"A-Ying you need to calm down. Take a breath with me. In and out. And repeat."
Slowly he started to calm down a little.
"Now please tell me why you think that you can't be with Wangji? Did he say something to you?"
He shook his head no. So it wasn't him. No one from the minor sects would have the balls to say anything bad in front of him. So that leaves us with the only sect that would . Lan sect. The leaders support their relationship so it wasn't them. Last I heard that mountain goat is bedridden. Xin Yi care must be great then. That only leaves one person...Lan 'I know better than everyone ' Xichen.
"Did Xichen say something to you?"
I felt how his body had tensed. So I was right. That bastard is responsible for his tears. I warned them to keep him on a tight leash but I guess he really wants to be miserable for the rest of his life. I will grant him his wish.
"What did he say?"
"He...he came to me...after the banquet...Lan Zhan went to his rooms...it was his bedtime."
I snorted at that. Even now he still follows this stupid routine.
"What happened next?"
"His brother found me...he...said that I should leave Lan Zhan alone..."
Excuse me?! Calm down Mingyue. You need to be calm.
"Can you tell me his exact words."
"He said that I will ruin his future and reputation just as I have ruined his and Lan Zhan's relationship."
I want to kill him...I really want to kill him. How fucking dare he!
"Did he say anything else? Did he explained to you how you ruined things?"
"He said that Lan Zhan stopped talking with him and avoids any interaction with him because I filled his head with nonsense...he said that the only reason Lan Zhan wants to be with me is because he is heaving a temper tantrum and he wants to prove a point because he doesn't agree with Lan Xichen. But in the long run our relationship is going to harm his reputation...that I need to stop it before it does..."
Does he not think that Lan Wangji is capable of making his own decisions? He's not a child that needs guidance....and to think he said that to A-Ying now. Such a joyful occasion and he ruined it due to his selfishness. Enough. He will pay. I heard the ghosts screams. They demanded his blood. Ruohan was right. They may not control me but I don't know how to control my power either. I will be overwhelmed by it if I don't stop. I should speak with Xin Yi. As much as I'm angry with her I can see her point too. And she does care in her own way. She could go against me and do something behind my back in order to 'help me' but she chose direct confrontation. I respect that. And she did promise to take care of him. So I will not let anyone ruin this day for me. But for now I need to comfort A-Ying.
"Did Wangji said anything to you that sounded similar to what Xichen implied?"
"No."
Good.
"Did he ever made you feel like you're not important to him?"
"No."
"Did he ever made you doubt him even for a second?"
"Never!"
"Then don't listen to his brother. A-Ying you need to talk with Wangji. Tell him what his brother told you and ask him if that's how he really feels. If you want to be with someone the most important thing is communication. You can spend your whole day here worrying about an assumption or you can ask directly and get an answer."
"What if I'm scared of the answer."
He's worried if Xichen was right. If Wangji really doesn't love him.
"Sometimes life is hard. We may not get the answers that we like...but there are times that we need them. Ask him. And remember that you're not alone. I will always be with you."
"Thank you uncle."
I continued to hug him a while silently planning Xichen funeral. Oh how much I wanted to paint the walls with his blood. But I can't. Not yet. I will speak with Xin Yi and then I will decide what to do. Now A-Ying needs me. And maybe I will allow A-Qing to experiment with her needles on him. That would be nice.