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Chapter Text

It's over. 

Everything is in ruins.

They took away everything from me.

I could only watch as my home was burned to the ground. 

The bodies of my family were piling up one after another.

Why? Why did that happen? I left them alone. I wasn't bothering anyone. I lived on these cursed mountains like a rat. And still...it wasn't enough for them....when did everything go wrong? What mistakes did I commit to get that outcome?

Uncle four...popo...all the aunties...the elderly...are lying dead...

They call me a monster. Demon.

But do they not see just who they are killing right now? Or do they simply not care? Is someone's surname really a good enough reason to kill them?

Who is the monster between the two of us?

I'm not innocent. I have never,not even once in my life claimed to be one. I did things that will forever hunt me in my dreams. Committed mistakes that will follow me for the rest of my days. But even when I hit the rock bottom...when I clawed my way out of here for the first time...I have never raised my hand on a civilian...I never attacked my allies unprovoked...I accepted all the blame that they threw my way...all their insults and ridicule...I won them their war...the one that they started...I gave all my rewards to a clan that is slaughtering my family right now...I repaid that clan's debts...I gave their leader my core after he foolishly lost his...and after I saved those people I returned here and never stepped out of Yiling.

And yet...they...the ones who claimed to be just and righteous...the ones that claimed to always protect the weak...are killing the farmers, commoners and elderly...

So who is wrong? Who is right? Who are we to decide that? If I did things differently...if I bowed my head in submission...would the outcome be different?

No. As I look at one of my aunt's corpses I know the answer is no. If I gave them what they wanted...the Jin's would have already replaced Wen Ruohan and those people wouldn't even get these two years I managed to keep them alive...if I submitted to them I would be probably the Wens executioner...

I could feel the anger trying to consume me. I never raised my finger at them and yet they provoked me time and time again. No one was on my side. No one spoke up for me. Everyone turned their backs on me. And later they blamed everything on me...like I'm the one who is responsible for everything that goes wrong in anyone's life! Everyone was saying how terrifying I am! How they are scared of me! That I'm the next Wen Ruohan! Yet they never showed their fear towards me! They knew that I wouldn't attack them...my arrogance...my overconfidence...and my trauma has brought me here. If I used those powers to kill them as the souls have demanded of me to do... we wouldn't be here. The worst part is that the innocents are paying for my mistakes...

Even when everyone is laying here dead...they aren't satisfied. They still want the seal...all of them are idiots following Jin Guangshan as if he was some kind of god. Just his words...all it took was his words and they are ready to kill me...a well-known whore's word has more value than mine. Pathetic. I should simply end this. There's nothing for me here anyway... killing myself and destroying the seal is the best that I can do...I'm all alone anyway...at least A-Yuan is safe wherever he is.

"Xian-gege!"

What? A-Yuan? Impossible! What is he doing here? He was supposed to be hidden! Far away from here!

"Xian-gege! Help!"

No...not him...please not my child! Don't take away my child! I was running before I even realized that my body moved.

"A-Yuan! Where are you?!"

The panic was overwhelming. I couldn't think straight.

"Xian-gege...please..."

My baby... please let me be on time...just this once...don't let me be too late!

I could see him...he was behind one of the rocks...he's crying but doesn't look hurt otherwise.

"A-Yuan!"

He looked in my direction. His eyes always filled with wonder despite the environment he was growing up were now filled with fear. I never wanted to see that look in his eyes again. I promised myself to protect him...I failed...I fucking failed!

""Xian-gege!"

I saw him getting up from the ground ready to run to me but in the next second...a sword had pierced straight through him...he screamed as he fell... No...no...I was too late again...I ran to him and kneeled by his side...I didn't even care for the attacker in that moment...I only thought about my boy...he was bleeding out...there was so much blood...i couldn't stop the bleeding....but his body wasn't moving...why wasn't it moving? I checked his pulse....He wasn't breathing...my baby...my little boy...was dead...I was too late...once again I couldn't save the person that I love...

"It's all your fucking fault! This wouldn't have happened if you kept your head down and did what you were told!"

I looked up and saw Jiang Cheng...no...Wanyin...it was Jiang Wanyin...he...he killed....him...he killed A-Yuan...a child...an innocent child....my child...

"W-what..."

I couldn't accept that. How could he...

"Why?! You even have the guts to ask why?! You killed my A-jie! You ruined my sect! My home! My parents marriage!"

No...I did no such thing...it wasn't my fault...it never was...but for them it doesn't matter...I will always be the one to blame...but to think...that he killed him...for that reason...my son...

"Now you can feel what I felt when I lost everything! You will pay for everything!"

Pay? Ah...right...the bodies of the Wens aren't enough to satisfy him...the blood of my son isn't enough to satisfy him either...it's never enough...but he wasn't wrong...what is happening right now is my fault....

"You're right..."

He was right.

"What are you saying you bastard! It's too late!"

No...it's not too late.

"You're right. It's my fault that this happened."

It is. I let them get away with everything that they did. That was my first mistake.

"Do you think admitting it will change anything!"

I gave him my core...the one that he used to kill my family. It was my second mistake.

"What are you staring at?! Say something!"

Even now...I didn't revoke his access to my wards...I didn't retaliate against them. It was my third and final mistake. 

"My fault...that's right...all of this...is my fault....so...let me rectify that."

And with the speed that I used against Wen Zhuliu,I pierced his stomach with my bare hand and grabbed my core. And then I whispered in his ear.

"You were right Jiang Wanyin. This is my fault. As you don't want anything to do with me and what is mine I will take my core back from you."

I did something I never thought was possible and started to absorb my core back. I could feel it settling back inside my diantian. Jiang Wanyin was screaming like a pig. Pathetic.

I missed this light. I missed this warmth. I should have never given him my core. I will never do that again. The souls weren't happy with my core back but I didn't pay them any attention. Those bastards...those cultivators were the only people in my mind. They would pay. All of them....but it won't bring my family back...nothing will. I will still be alone...my son will still be dead...but what if it doesn't have to be that way? I always thought what would happen if only I knew how bad my life will become....I wrote arrays and talismans about time travel but I have never attempted it...the price...it would be too great to pay...the energy I would need...but I do have some volunteers now. They should have known the consequences of their actions will sooner or later catch up to them...they took everything away from me...so by their logic...aren't I allowed to do the same? Why can't I simply use them as my source of power ...why not sacrifice their souls to go back? I will use them as they have used me. I will never again help those hypocrites in their war.

And that's what I did. For the first time in years I called my sword to me. Suibian,as always answered me. My sword...my most loyal companion...you never abandoned me...even when I betrayed you...I'm sorry. And I promise to you that I will never lose you again. I cut my arms and used the dead to keep those bastards occupied. They don't need to know what will happen to them. I wrote the talismans and arrays. It wasn't easy with my body fighting against the upcoming Qi divation. The two energies inside my body didn't like each other. Soon I will be free from resentment...soon. I activated the binding talismans and trapped them inside. They will not run away. I will not allow it. And then I activated one of the arrays meant to suck out their Qi. And I watched. I watched as they crumbled to the ground one by one. Screaming and powerless.And then I activated the rest. There is no turning back now. They wanted a monster? I will give them one. I will fix my mistakes. All of them.

Mom...I'm sorry that I couldn't live by your words...

Dad....I'm sorry that I turned my back on my former sect...

I may not remember the both of you but I want you to know that I'm sorry for everything that I will do...I hope that if we ever meet...you will still smile at me and welcome me...

Now I just waited for the arrays to work...please work...let me save my family...let me save my son... please...take me back...before everything went wrong...and use those monsters as a payment.

I woke up feeling disoriented. Where was I? What happened to me? Then it hit me. I suddenly got up and looked around me. I was at the Burial Mounds...but something is different...where are the bodies? Where is our settlement? Why is there so much resentment around me? I feel suffocated...my golden core doesn't like being here...my golden core? Right it's back. I got it back...I have Suibian back too. Does it mean that it worked? I started to make my way out. I need to know if it worked and if it did,where exactly am I. Getting out was easy. I know those old wards,they aren't an obstacle for me. And with them in place I know that I'm back. The town was weird. It's not like I remembered... everyone looked tired and worn out. I'm not surprised. With how thick the resentment around here is. I need to know the date. But I don't think they would tell me. They stare at me weirdly...I don't know how to explain this. I will deal with this later. Now I will look around and find something that will help me narrow down today's date.

Walking around didn't help me at all. There is literally nothing here and I'm getting tired. Suddenly I heard the barking of some dogs. With how many monsters in human form I have faced this sound doesn't scare me anymore. I wanted to continue on my way but I heard a shout. A terrified scream of a child...shit. I can't walk away now. I can't let an innocent be hurt,it would make me be like them .

I ran to the alley. But nothing prepared me for what I saw. It was me...I saw myself curled up on the ground trying to shield my body as best as I could from the dogs...shit...this is bad...I used my Qi to scare them away and looked once again on myself. I thought I would arrive a few months before the siege...and it will be in my younger body...I miscalculated...there was so much energy and people there that it sent me back here in my own body...now there are two of us. What should I do? I could see my younger self uncurling himself and looking at me...those eyes...those innocent eyes that had yet to see how cruel the world can be...

"Thank you gege!"

He's smiling at me. I was really foolish even this early in life. I always smiled because people liked smiling children. I had a better chance of getting something to eat if I smiled.

"No need"

I don't know how to interact with myself....with him...it's strange.

"You saved A-Ying! Is there something A-Ying can do for you?"

He's still smiling. I hate that...I hate seeing myself like that. Besides am I really that stupid? Doesn't he realize the danger he's in? What if I'm so kind of a pervert?!

"You shouldn't stay here."

Yes. I shouldn't. But where else can I go?

"A-Ying lives here! A-Ying needs to wait for A-Niang and A-Die! The mean lady said that they won't be back but I know that they will!"

They won't. They are already dead. And judging by my size and state I already spent at least three months on the street. What should I do? I can't leave myself here. No. Not myself. As there are two of us I can't keep thinking of him as me. The two of us are now completely two different people. But one thing is for sure. I will get my revenge but I will not let myself live like a rat for the next few years. A-ying will not go to the Jiang's. I will take him with me. Yes. I will raise him. I will ensure that at least one of us has a happy childhood.

"What are your parents names?"

"Wei Changze and Cangse Sanren!"

"I see. So you must be Wei Ying."

I will make it work. I once heard how similar I am to my parents. The two of us won't be able to pass on as brothers as I'm 23 years old but I could be his uncle. Yes. That may work.

"You know A-Ying's parents?"

Was I always so cute? I mean he. Was he always so cute? How could anyone hurt him?

"Yes. My name is Wei...Wei Mingyue. Yes. I'm Wei Mingyue. I'm Wei Changze's younger brother. I wasn't aware that I had more family out there but I had discovered by accident that I have an older brother...so I tried to look for him. Unfortunately I heard he died on a night hunt along with his wife. I was saddened by these news but hearing as he had a child I got my hopes back up. I was looking for you my nephew."

His eyes became so wide. He looked at me up and down.

"T-they are gone? Really gone?"

"Yes A-Ying. They are gone."

He was barely holding back his tears.

"And you were looking for me? You want to take A-Ying with you? Really?"

My heart broke. I...He is such a pitiful child.

"Yes A-Ying. I came for you. What do you say? Would you go with your uncle?"

He threw himself at me. He is so light. He was crying too.

"Sorry... A-Ying normally doesn't cry so much"

He tried to stop the tears. No. Never again will I force myself to hide my feelings behind a smile. I gently took his hands away from his face and made him look at me.

"Cry. If you need to cry you should do that. Don't hide your feelings from me. It's okay to be sad. So cry as much as you want. I will not leave you behind."

And he did. He cried and cried. I let him. I know the best how much he needed this after all. I patiently waited till he was done.

"We shouldn't stay here. I have  a meeting with someone you see. We should go and visit him. I will make sure that you have plenty of food and rest when we get there. It's too dangerous to stay here A-Ying."

Yes. I don't know when Jiang Fengmian sent people to observe me. He must have somehow known where I was . How did he recognized me otherwise?

"Yes uncle! A-Ying understands!"

I chuckled at that. I...I mean he. He already is smiling again. But that one isn't so fake. I'm relieved. I took him in my arms and unsheathed my sword. I knew the direction where I should go. There is only one place that will help me get what I want and give A-Ying protection. So we flew. I took him to a place that I helped destroy. I took him to QishanWen. I need to have a chat with Wen Ruohan.

Chapter Text

I was flying straight to the palace. I didn't care about anything and anyone. They aren't a threat to me even without my demonic cultivation. I could feel the strength of my core. It was stronger than ever. I'm surprised with how well I feel. Their barriers are weak. Or am I that good? Honestly I have nothing to compare. I saw people looking at me and some of them were getting ready to attack me. The gates of the palace have opened. Wen Ruohan came out of them. He looks nearly the same as last time that I saw him but slightly younger.He didn't look angry. More like amused? 

I landed a few feet away from him. Fortunately A-Ying got tired and was sleeping.

"Who are you? Don't you know where you are?"

He still doesn't sound angry. He doesn't look like a madman to me. But what do I know? I saw him only two times. Once at the competition and the second time on the battlefield.

"I know exactly where I am. And we two need to have a chat."

As much as I hate him and his family I need his strength. That doesn't mean that I won't destroy Wen Chao.

"How dare you! Who do you think you are acting like that in front of Wen-Zhongzu!"

That must be one of his disciples. So he's not anyone important.

"And what makes you think I would allow this?"

He's so calm. He really looks like a leader. Is it the same person that got tricked by Meng Yao?

"Simple. If you want your plans to go well you will want to talk with me."

"Hm? And what plans are you talking about?"

He's testing me. He wants to know how much I know. It's a shame that someone this smart has an offspring so stupid as Wen Chao but it did make sense how after I found out a little secret.

"I have no time for the games. I will go straight to the point. Your indoctrination will be a failure. And your supervisory offices will face the same fate."

I saw his slight change in posture but nothing else changed in him. I need to say that seeing him now makes me admire him a little. He might have been a tyrant but this person in front of me is a capable leader. He knows how to conduct himself unlike the aggressiveness of Nie Mingjue, passiveness of Jiang Fengmian and Lan Qiren's strictness and know it all attitude.

"I don't know what you're talking about. I must say that you're amusing. I don't see why we shouldn't talk some more."

He knows. But fine. I won't call you out. 

"I would like it if you could spare a room for my nephew to rest"

"How da..."

"Fine."

"But Zhongzhu!"

"Are you questioning me?"

"No. We will do as you say."

He knows how to keep them in line. Or is it because they fear him?

I made sure that A-Ying was lying in bis bed comfortably and accompanied Wen Ruohan to the guest room. It's good that he sent his attendants away. The less people know the better.

"Now that we're alone. Who are you and what do you want."

This wasn't a question. It's a demand. 

"As I have said. I'm here to have a chat. "

He only raised an eyebrow at that.

"Chat? Listen here boy..."

"No. It's you who should listen. Your plans will fail. And I will show you the proof for that."

I would need to show him. He needs to believe me. If it was just me here I would deal with everything by myself. And killed most of them by now. But I have someone to protect here. And I already learned my lesson that I can't do everything by myself. Wei Ying needs protection. Especially if something happens to me. And the Wen sect is the only one the Jiang's won't challenge directly.

"How can you show me the proof?"

"Simple. Empathy. You will see and feel what I have felt and seen. Then you will make your judgement."

He's curious. Good.

"And if I refuse?"

You won't. 

"I will treat you as my enemy once more and act accordingly. I can't allow any obstacles to stay in my way."

If he won't agree I will simply kill him and take over his sect. It's better if he was the one protecting us,his reputation and position is very useful after all. It doesn't mean that I won't hesitate to remove him if he's a threat to me. He's just the easy way to solve most of my current problems.

"Once more? We have never met before. I would have remembered a face like yours."

"That's why I said that I would show you. You won't believe me otherwise."

"Fine. You have one chance. But only because you intrigued me."

That arrogance. Once upon a time it brought you to ruins.

I activated the spell and showed him most of my life. Especially the Sunshot Campaign and its aftermath. Then I just waited for him to process everything while drinking tea.

"You are from the future."

"Yes I am."

"You killed my clan."

"Most of it. And you're the one who killed mine first. I just repaid you."

"And then you saved what was left of it."

"They were innocent. They didn't deserve what happened to them."

"Why are you here? Why did you show me this?"

"Are you seriously asking me? You saw what happened. I gave them everything that I had and it was still not enough. The only gratitude that I received from them for saving everyone from you was them banishing me and killing my family. My son. My four year old baby! So I did what I should have done from the beginning. They wanted a monster so I acted as one. I used them and came back here. I must say it wasn't in my plan to go that far but it works for the better."

"That child that you brought here is you,isn't it?"

"Yes. I plan to raise him."

"I understand why you are doing this but I don't understand why you came here? Shouldn't you want to kill me first so what happened in your life won't repeat itself ever again ?"

"No. I tried to do this the nice way and it didn't work out. I want to destroy them. I want them to feel the pain that I have felt. I want them to lose everything like I did. And you're asking me why I am here. It's quite simple. As much as I hated you for the war that you started ...you're not like others.Unlike them you aren't a hypocrite. You have never pretended to be something that you aren't. From the beginning you made your goal clear. They are the ones who ignored the signs. You want to rule over them and I want them in the dirt where they belong. We can help each other."

He was thinking about this. It's better than rejecting me. Forcing a sect to follow me wouldn't be easy so it's better if he cooperates with me.

"How do I know you won't betray me like that snake that I saw in your memories?"

"The same way that I do which is none. How do I know you won't cross me? The only thing that should work is a blood pact. But are you willing to sign it?"

"I think it's a good idea. It's the only way that can give us both what we want. But what was the thing that you hid from me?"

So he caught on that? I should have expected that. He's not an idiot like them . So why did he start that bloodshed?

"After we sign our contract I will tell you."

"Fine."

We didn't write anything complicated. Just a few rules that will make sure that neither of us loses in it.

1. We aren't allowed to harm each other or our blood relatives.

2. Any information that we will decide to share must be truthful.

3. We won't speak about this to anyone without the permission of all parties involved in the contract.

4. Wen Ruohan isn't allowed to hurt Wei Ying in any way and protect him should he ever need it.

That sums it up. It's a simple contract but it will give Wei Ying the protection that he needs should anything happen to me,too bad Wen Chao doesn't have the same protection. 

"Now. The information?"

Oh...that. I will enjoy this. 

"As you already know everything I say is going to be the truth."

"I already know that. Speak."

How impatient ~

"Here. These are paternity talismans. You can check them yourself if you still somehow don't believe me. You're probably wondering why I gave you this right? Do you know what often baffled me about your sons before? Neither one of them resembled you. Not in the appearance and not in character. And after Meng Yao? I made talismans that will prove if two people are related to each other. Gold for parents. Silver for grandparents. Dark blue for siblings. Light blue for half siblings. Green for cousins. The farther away in the genealogical tree the lighter the color. Orange for uncles and aunts. And black if there is no connection at all. I think you already know what I'm trying to say to you."

He looked furious. For the first time I could see his emotions clearly. I'm surprised. In my last life he didn't care about his sons at all.

"Why are you angry? I know that you never cared for them that much. And both of them are scumbags even know. Wen Chao is what eleven now? And he's already a failure of a human being.Why make such a face then?"

"They aren't mine? Whose their father then?! I will test it. I need to make sure. It's true that I could never connect with them as a father should...and sometimes the only thing saving Wen Chao is his relation to me. But I still thought of them as mine."

That sucks. But it's better to get rid of my two obstacles now. I don't need A-Ying around those bastards. But a part of me. The one who prompted me to save A-Ying is sad for him. No. I don't need those emotions. The only person I will care about is A-Ying and my family. No one else. I can't afford to be betrayed again because I started to feel sympathy towards him. I learned that lesson too.

"No they aren't. And I don't know who their father is."

I can't read his expression at all.

"I will make sure you and your 'nephew' are taken care of. Now I need some time to myself. Leave."

How rude. But I do leave him be. I need to check on A-Ying. 

Thankfully he is still sleeping. Someone had to clean him up and change his robes. He must be really exhausted if he didn't get up. I need to clean myself up too. I see there are some spare robes around my size. I will use them.

I went behind the changing screen and undressed myself. I was surprised by my body. There wasn't a single scar on it. Whatever happened while I was being transported back erased all the physical proof of my abuse. It's like I was reborn again. I left my sword beside the bathtub and started to clean myself. I had more time to think. I started checking on my core too. It was a little unstable but it felt stronger now. Even more than when I arrived here today. It's weird . What is happening with me. I looked into the mirror and saw a red flame between my brows. I really don't want to think about this right now. I will figure this out later. 

Now what to do. I need to start training A-Ying as fast as possible without injuring him in the process. Not only that there is a matter of my or our sword. There can only be one Suibian. Suibian is  Wei Wuxian's sword. So I will just change my sword's name. I will never abandon it again. I will not repay her loyalty to me with betrayal. I grabbed  the pummel and took her out of her scabbard. She's so beautiful. And she's back with me. Even on a journey through time she didn't leave me and came back with me. It's like she's reborn just like me. Reborn. Both of us rose from the ashes many times already. Fenghuang. A phoenix. 

"From this day your name will be Fenghuang. To represent our journey. A phoenix. Beautiful name for a beautiful sword. That way Wei Ying will have his Suibian too."

And I looked in amazement as her name changed on the scabbard and blade. I wasn't aware this can happen...it never did before....her look changed too. She was covered in my red Qi . Now she wasn't red and brown anymore but a mix of red and gold. She was even more beautiful...but it's still strange...I will add this to the category of figure things out when you're not completely exhausted.

I got out and dried myself with towels and talismans. The robes were a little loose but they fit me well.  And someone left us food. Good. A-Ying needs to eat. I took the food and went to wake him up. He looked so peaceful. But it is getting dark and he needs to eat something before he goes back to sleep. Gently I woke him up.

"N...no...I wanna sleep..."

I chuckled at that. I'm so...he. I need to get a grip on myself.He is so adorable.

"A-Ying. You need to eat something."

At the mention of food he opened his eyes and sat up very fast.

"Food?"

He looked at me with excitement.

"Yes A-Ying. Food. You need to eat something before you go back to sleep."

He looks at me strangely.

"You're here."

What is this about?

"Of course I'm here. Didn't I tell you that I won't leave you behind?"

"Yes...but I thought it was just a dream..."

Oh...

"No. It wasn't a dream. Now sit up and eat. We don't want the food to get cold do we?"

I scoped him up and sat him on my lap. He's too thin. After that I started to feed him while listening to his chatter. After that I tucked him back in to sleep and simply watched him.

"Don't worry A-Ying. I promise you that this time you will get a loving family on your own too. You will get a scary but caring jiejie and shy but brave didi. You will live up to your name to have no envy. But this name won't be a reminder to not reach for something that isn't yours. I will make sure that you have everything you could ever dream of. You will never feel envious of anything. And the ones that hurt us...will want to hurt you will wish that they were never born.  I will walk in darkness so you can walk in the daylight with your head raised high. This I promise you."

That is the vow that I made to my sleeping self. He will never hold back again. He will never have to be something less than he is. He will never fear asking about our parents again. I will have to order our parents tablets to be made. This time we will mourn them properly.

Chapter Text

I woke up first. I fell asleep by A-Ying bedside. How can he be still asleep? But he is adorable. I heard a light knock on the door. It was one of Wen Ruohan's attendants. It looks like Wen-Zhongzu is ready to see me again. I instructed them to take care of A-Ying while I was away and went to meet with him.

I was led to his private quarters. He was standing by the balcony overseeing Qishan. He still had his night robes on. And honestly how did I have not seen this before? Wen Ruohan is really attractive! A little more than Lan Wangji...or maybe the same? I looked away from him. I'm not even sure why. I felt really weird...it must be some side effect of my time travel.

"Thank you for coming so quickly."

Since when does Wen Ruohan know manners?

"Yes... A-Ying was still sleeping so..."

"Let's eat breakfast together. We can plan on how our cooperation will go."

And he simply went to his table and sat down. There was nothing on his face that could show me how he feels. He is so casual. I made my way towards him and joined him at the table.

"Why do you still think that my plan will not work? Last time they won only because of your help."

That's true. But he really doesn't get it... politics suck...

"You were seen as a tyrant and monster. They feared you. Not respected you. How long do you think you would have lasted before another rebellion started? You would be constantly surrounded by enemies. And common people would have hated you. There would be a time that they could petition the emperor himself."

And that wouldn't be good. Honestly I should have sent a petition to him. All of this would have ended differently. Too bad I wasn't thinking straight.

"The emperor doesn't concern himself with our matters. He left Jianghu for us to oversee."

"And would he still have nothing to say if the common people and nobility stood up against you? If our problems started to interrupt him? The only reason he didn't interfere before was because we didn't bring him trouble directly.If I wrote to him in my last life before anything went wrong all of those fools would be punished. Because the Wens under my care were civilians, he would have the right to interfere. And that's not something we want."

And that's the truth. Going around and killing them is the easiest way but in the long run it will bring us more trouble. And they aren't worth it.

"Then what do you propose? It looks like you have everything planned out. I'm curious about that."

Of course I have a plan! I will make sure to destroy them completely and no one will say anything about it. They will have to fight on their own without any support ,just like I did.

"They will be forced to their knees but without the war. You can't be the one who starts the conflict. You need a good reason for that. One that no one would be able to question.Of course we would still destroy them. I want to see their heads rolling down but we can't be impulsive."

"You mean the Jin's and Jiang's?"

He's smirking at me. Bastard. He knows how much I hate them. I must say that I hate Jiang Wanyin more than Wen Chao right now. He killed my baby...

"Yes."

"And what about the Lans?"

I felt my heart tighten at that. Once upon a time I considered Lan Zhan my zhiji...before he told me that he hated me...before he didn't trust me...before he left me...and before he attacked me at the conference where they were planning my death . In the end...whatever was between us was one-sided. I was just an idiot who deluded himself into thinking that we could be friends...since I knew we would never be anything more...

"The Lan sect...they are a bunch of hypocrites. They...use their rules when it suits them and break them whenever they want...they were there ...at the qiongqi path...and they were there to kill us..."

"Yes. They were. A sect known for being always righteous ended up killing farmers."

He really finds it amusing?

"We can't simply destroy them. Their reputation in the Jianghu is peerless. There would be too many people against you. We should focus on fixing your sect reputation among the common people first. It doesn't matter what the cultivators think. But it will be nice to watch them steam inside while your sect is being praised when they know the truth but aren't able to say anything about it. It will give you a better standing later when you 'retaliate' against them. People's sympathy is a powerful weapon after all. Just look how far Lan Xichen went for Meng Yao because he felt sorry for him."

He looks interested now.

"Tell me more."

"Let's destroy their reputation. All of the dirt that they have hidden. Let's bring it to light. I want everyone to know how hypocritical they are.I want Lan Qiren to live and see as his wall of rules is being destroyed...and I want to humiliate them more by reducing them to a minor sect under the Wen banner. They will serve the sect that they hate. And if not? They will perish."

Yes. That would be good for them. The rules that they are proud of are being reduced to nothing. And they will live with the reminder of how much they have failed. I was getting angry...that talk reminded me of yesterday's events.

"I see. I didn't expect you to have a sadistic side."

It's not like he knows me. He only saw what I went through. He may have felt my emotions but it doesn't mean he understood them.

"And dealing with the Jin's and Jiang's?"

My so-called family! They used me and abandoned me when I wasn't needed anymore! But they made a mistake,one that will cost them everything.They took away from me someone they shouldn't...The Jin's and Jiang's will do everything to get what they want! And others pay for that! The rage that I was squashing inside of me since yesterday was trying to get out.

"It's the same with them. All of them only care about their reputation. About losing face. So first we will destroy their reputation,which includes the Nie sect. And later I want both LanlingJin and YunmengJiang walls to be painted in blood. I want Yu Ziyuan to be stripped down in front of everyone...I want to cut off her hand and that poisonous tongue...I want her whipped and killed with the same weapon that she used on me! And I want Jiang Wanyin for myself. I will deal with him personally. I will make that bastard watch as his home is drowning in red,as everything he ever loved is falling apart right in front of him and then I want him to see as his most precious sister is dying and he's unable to do anything. I want him to feel as helpless as I did."

Yes. They deserve that. All of them...for every drop of blood that they spilled...I felt how much my body was starting to shake.

"And the Nie? You weren't so close with them. Only with that meek second heir."

Those bastards...the ones who should understand me...

"I want them to live. I want them to live and die by the same cultivation that they condemned me for. I want everyone to know that they cultivate yin energy. I want them to be isolated...just like I was. I..."

I can't control myself. I could feel the ghosts scream in my head. It looks like I'm not clean of this energy...but why?

"It's alright."

I felt his hand on mine. But it didn't calm me down. It made me mad.

"You're working yourself up. Calm down. I shouldn't have asked you that. We would cross that bridge when it comes to it. Fortunately their father is still around. I won't kill him. We will see how this goes. We have plenty of time to plan their demise."

I took a few deep breaths and tried to calm myself down. It's hard. It's so fucking hard! 

"As I said. Calm down."

I couldn't contain myself any longer and exploded.

"How can I be calm when only yesterday I have lost my world! My son died right in front of me! At the hands of someone I considered my brother! And the worst part?! I gave him the power to do that! He killed my baby using my own core!"

I wanted to destroy everything in my sight. I hate them...I fucking hate them!

"Wuxian!"

"Shut up! You don't know anything! You don't care about anyone but yourself! Your stupid war has caused so much misery! Your people paid the price for that! I did nothing! I wasn't using my cultivation after the war! I stayed away from people! I was loyal to the Jiang sect and didn't let anyone's offer sway me from them! And still everyone despised me! They turned their back on me! I fought for them and for what? So they could crown another tyrant in your place! I saved innocents and was destroyed for that....I ...I...lost my family...the only one that I had...that accepted me with open arms...because I was too weak...too naive...too nice....I gave them the chance to kill them and they took it!....my baby...I lost A-Yuan! How can I be fucking calm!"

My son...my son...that was all I could think of. I'm partly responsible for his death...I gave him my core so he could wield his sword...I didn't revoke his access to my home...I let them walk all over me...and now...all of them...are gone...I could feel my tears streaming down my cheeks but I couldn't stop them...I lost my family....
I felt someone shaking me. 

"Get a hold of yourself ! It didn't happen yet!"

I could feel the resentment starting to surround me. How dare he?! He has no right! 

"Shut up! It may not happen to you but it did to me! I remember that! I will always remember that!"

I wanted to kill him. And all the ghosts were encouraging me to do it.

"How are you planning to destroy them if you can't control yourself! Do you want to lose them again!"

I froze. Shit...shit! Stop. I need to stop. I tried to regain the control over myself. I let the emotions rule me once again. I need to be calm. Finally I managed to calm my breathing and stop crying.
I felt embarrassed. I cried like a baby.  Slowly he sat down and pulled me down with him. We were sitting side by side on the floor. I want the ground to swallow me. It's so humiliating being seen at your worst by your enemy...or a former enemy.

"I apologize. I forgot how recent your loss was. That was insensitive of me. And yes. I do have some manners. For someone who is only twenty three years old you did a good job with hiding your emotions. You focused on the solutions instead of thinking about what brought you here. But once again you didn't get the chance to mourn what you have lost. I should have expected the outburst to be sooner . Thank you for taking care of my family. You protected them when I couldn't. But don't act as if you know me too. I care. I care more than you seem to realize. I started all of this because I wanted to bring all of them under one banner. But it wasn't because I wanted more power. I'm already one of the most powerful cultivators alive. I saw how bad they were getting. How unwilling to change they were....and I knew that they wouldn't listen to me despite my position. So I wanted to beat them down. Force them under my rule. So they will have no choice but to listen. In doing so I could see in your memories that I have neglected my own sect and let them become just like the poison I was trying to kill. I made many mistakes and I don't plan to repeat them but  don't presume to know what is in my mind."

I felt ashamed. He was right. 

"I'm sorry."

He chuckled. Is it so funny?

"Don't worry about it.You're not Wei Wuxian anymore. You're Wei Mingyue. And I will protect you. Both you and Wei Ying are safe here. Not because of the contract. This will be my repayment for saving the lives of my family. You don't have to worry about Wen Xu and Wen Chao any longer. Wen Xu....I told him yesterday about us not being related....I gave him a choice to stay or go to his mother's family....we may not be related but I did think of him as mine for years...he has returned to his maternal family before the sun even rose. And Wen Chao is confinement to his quarters as he didn't take the news gracefully. I think my first son was even relieved to leave this place. I can't blame him. Even now I don't feel anything other than indifference towards him. But your talisman does work."

I really needed to get a hold of myself. I can't lose my focus on what's important. My family and revenge.

"I'm alright now. Once again I apologize for my outburst."

He laughed at me.

"You're the reason I died in the future and after everything I put you through you still  apologize to me?"

"You already paid for what you did . I personally made sure of that remember?"

"I see. So I have a clean slate?"

Like hell!

"Maybe."

"You're amusing you know that?"

This time it was me who was laughing.

"Thank you. I'm glad someone is finally appreciating my sense of humor."

"What should I call you?"

"Mingyue. That's the name I will use from now on. So call me Mingyue."

"Then call me Ruohan."

Really? He wants me to call him by his name?

"Really?"

"Yes. We are partners in crime after all. "

That's true. We do plan to destroy at least half of the Jianghu together.

"I guess we are."

We talked some more before I returned to A-Ying.

 He was already awake and getting bored with the attendants. 

"Uncle! You're back!"

His enthusiasm is adorable. I easily caught him in my arms and lifted him up.

"So what was my adorable nephew doing?"

He's blushing ~

"I'm not adorable!"

He's pouting too!

"Yes you are!"

"Uncle!"

"Did you have your breakfast already?"

"Yes I did! It was good! Look I even have new clothes!"

"And they look very good on you."

"But uncle? When do we leave? "

"We're not leaving A-Ying. This is our home now."

He tilted his head to the side. He is so cute~

"Home?"

"Yes. Me and Ruohan...he is my friend. Yes friend."

I can't say to him that we are planning to slaughter some people together. I don't think he would understand or agree with that. But calling him a friend makes me uncomfortable...

"Yes a friend...we will join his sect and live here from now on."

He looks excited.

"Really? Does it mean I will learn how to use a sword?"

"Yes A-Ying you will!"

"When?"

Seriously this child.

"You will start your training in a few days. We still need to wait for the arrival of some people."

"What people?"

"They are my friend's distant relatives. I hope you will become friends with two of them"

I hope in time the three of you will be siblings. But I should start preparing myself. There's no turning back now. The cultivators should cherish the peaceful days that they have because in a few years they won't even have one. It's my turn to play. 

Chapter Text

The Wen siblings arrived after three days. Little Wen Qing and Wen Ning were as adorable as A-Ying is! Even now Qing-jie....I mean A-Qing has a stern face which in my opinion makes her even more adorable! And A-Ning is hiding behind her! How can they be so cute! 

"Hello! This one is called Wei Mingyue. I'm so glad to finally meet you two! And the one hiding behind me is my sweet nephew Wei Ying!"

I could feel A-Ying's grip tightening on me. So even he can be a little shy. And look at Wen Qing ! Ten years old and already suspicious of everything. It's like watching a little kitten pretending to be a tiger.

"Greetings Master Wei. This one is called Wen Qing and that is my brother Wen Ning."

Perfect bow and everything? She's a perfect young lady even at that age.

"Would the two of you like to spend some time with A-Ying? I need to have a few words with your uncle."

I saw how she looked in the direction of Ruohan and waited for his permission. Only then did she agree to my request. It's obvious that she fears him a little. Don't worry A-Qing. I won't let anything bad happen to the three of you but telling you this now is useless as you won't believe a word I will say. So just wait and see.

"Have fun you three!"

I waited till they were out of sight before I addressed Ruohan.

"Why are they here alone? Where is popo or uncle four to keep them company? I know that their parents are dead already so why isn't anyone familiar with them?"

He only looked at me.

"Why should they be? My disciples brought them here. They were completely safe on the journey? Why bring some civilians with them?"

That man...is that really his attitude towards children?

"To make them feel comfortable? Even if the three of you are family they clearly fear you. And they are still children. No matter how mature Wen Qing may act she is a child too. It would make them more at ease to have someone familiar with them! Have you seen A-Ning?! He looked like he was about to pass out any given chance!"

He got a weird glint in his eyes.

"Why would their comfort matter? They should know that I wouldn't hurt them and their safety is more important."

He said it so confidently. I'm speechless. Our Chief Cultivator is hopeless with children. That explains why his sons turned out the way they were. He didn't parent them at all.

"Of course it matters! And how are they supposed to know you wouldn't hurt them when they don't know you and you never gave them a reason to trust you!"

My poor siblings ...they were living with him for so long in my past life...is that why Wen Qing was so paranoid?

And he has the audacity to look frustrated at me! Like I'm the one who is being unreasonable!

"Then what do you want me to do?"

"First of all bring Wen popo here. She's the one who is raising them. Have you told them why they are here?"

"Why should I? I called them and they obeyed."

He...I have so much work to do....how was he even allowed near children?

"So they wouldn't spend their whole journey to Qishan anxious about their presence here!"

I want to punch him. I really do! The stress he put them through...my poor siblings...

"I don't see why it matters. They just have to obey me."

I took a deep breath so I wouldn't end up killing him. Remember Mingyue you need him. You can't kill him yet no matter how tempting it may be.

"They aren't your soldiers! They are your family! You can't expect them to read between the lines! You need to say what you actually mean!"

"How does it work?"

How does he not know?! Just what kind of person was his father!

"What kind of person was your father?"

"Him? A great leader who always prioritized our clan over blood relations. To be a leader me and my brothers fought to death. As you see I have won. I promised to never do what he did. That may be the reason I didn't finish Wen Chao off."

Shit. I feel kinda bad for him. But it does explain why he doesn't know how to raise children...or act around them...or around adult people too I guess.

"I'm sorry to hear that."

"You shouldn't. It's in the past."

I should. But I won't push you too far. It's obvious you don't want to talk about this.

"But there is one thing I would like to know."

"What is it Ruohan?"

"Weren't you supposed to be clear from the resentment? You used it when you were losing control."

He's right. I tried not to think about it. I still don't know what happened.

"I'm not sure myself. I shouldn't have used it..."

"Are the spirits still bothering you?"

"No. That's the thing. I don't hear them at all right now. Only when I was losing myself did I hear them again."

"Then it's not a problem for now."

"No it isn't."

"Good. So what is your plan for now? I did bring you those kids."

"I plan to train all three of them. I want them to know how to protect themselves. We should slowly start changing your sect reputation among the common people. In the meantime we can make small trouble for the rest. Nothing significant. Just enough to piss them off."

He smirked at me. 

"And how am I supposed to do that? I tried once and everything I ever done made me be seen as an arrogant bastard in their eyes."

"Aren't you arrogant?"

He stood right in front of me and lowered his head slightly so we were on the same level.

"It's only arrogance if you can't back it up. I'm just confident in my skills."

That weird feeling is back. What is wrong with me? I feel hot all over my body.

"I don't know. You sound pretty arrogant to me right now."

The atmosphere around us is tense.

"It takes one to know one doesn't it?"

"Are you calling me arrogant?"

"I wasn't the one who went to fight all the clans by himself. You tell me."

It's weird. I don't know how to describe what we are doing right now.

"Uncle!"

Wei Ying? I took a step back from him and turned my attention to A-Ying.

"Uncle! You won't believe what just happened!"

I easily caught him in my arms and put him on my hip.

"And what would that be?"

"Qing-jie is really amazing! We were playing around and I fell! And then my knee hurt! And she made it go away! Isn't that great! Isn't she amazing!"

I chuckled at his enthusiasm. Of course a simple thing like that is going to be amazing to him.

"There you are you idiot! I told you not to run off to God knows where!"

A-Qing was out of breath and she was carrying A-Ning. I'm not surprised. Wen Ning is only three or four years old.

"But Qing-jie! I had to tell my uncle how great you are!"

"Who are you calling Qing-jie! And you could have injured yourself again!"

"J-jie...mad?"

"No A-Ning! I'm just worried! That idiot has no self-preservation skills!"

"Hey!"

I laughed. I couldn't control myself any longer and simply laughed! And to think I was worried about them not getting along! It reminds me of our time in the burial mounds. We were like that too...She may be alive now but she will never be my jiejie again...I may save them now but my family is gone...I felt someone touch my shoulder.

"They may be gone but those people here are alive. Stop living in the past and embrace your present."

I don't know how he knew what I was thinking about but I'm thankful. To think someone so insensitive knows what to say in this situation. He's a walking contradiction. He's a tyrant who doesn't hesitate to kill you but he cares about the common people in his own weird way. He doesn't know how to interact with children but he takes care of them ...or at least tries....the results speak for themselves how much he sucks at that. I don't know what to think of him.

"A-Qing. A-Ning. I want the two of you to stay here. Mingyue is going to be your teacher. I will send some disciples for your popo later so she can take care of the two of you."

So he was listening to me. But Wen Qing did relax a little once she found out the reason for her presence.

"And who is he if I may ask?"

She's so hesitant while speaking to him. I can't wait to watch her grow into the formidable woman she grew up to be.

"My Head Disciple."

Wait what?

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me right. If we plan to change our,because you are part of this sect from now on we need to start with their training. Beside as partners we would work closely together. You're basically my right hand man already. I'm just making it official. "

That bastard simply decided that without informing me before! I changed my mind I hate him!

"I didn't agree with that!"

He's laughing at me. I just know that.

"I don't care about that. There is too much to do and if you think for a second that it would be only me who has to suffer through their stupid conferences where they preach about their success then you are wrong."

"And what about the Jiang's? Fengmian will recognize me."

"I know. That's the plan. I want him to know where you are. I want him to know that Wei Ying is here too. It would piss him off,don't you think."

It will. It definitely will.

"And Yu Ziyuan will start her harpy screams again. She's the only woman that I know who deliberately tried to destroy her own reputation."

That's true too. The moment she finds out that Wei Ying is alive and in the Wen sect she will lose it. She won't be able to simply touch us and that would enrage her more.

"I may see the appeal of this plan."

It does sounds nice.

"I know right? And it will focus those idiots attention on them and my spies will do their job in starting digging out the Lan sect secrets."

That sounds even better. He knows how to tempt me. 

"Fine. We will do it your way. But don't expect me to behave. I never did and never will."

"Oh I already know that. I wouldn't expect anything else from you. "

Who would have thought that I would get along with someone who was once my enemy. If he was so smart just why the hell did he start the war? He's intelligent enough to think of others methods. How did someone so strong...and smart became a bastard that I saw in the archery competition? Just what happened in those years? 

Chapter Text

That's how the next two years have passed. I learned their sword style personally from their leader and trained the little ones. Only last week I got the position of a Head Disciple officially.My free time was spent between my family and planning our next moves. The Wens reputation is very good among the common people. It took months to recover the commoners trust but we did it. It helped that Wen Chao was forcefully sent back to his  maternal family.  Let's just say that the trouble he was causing in seclusion became too big and even Wen Ruohan with his patience to someone he considered his own has run out and he threw him out. It was very satisfying watching him being dragged to a carriage while he was kicking and screaming. It was such a nice view~
I even managed to get A-Qing and A-Ning to call me an uncle! That was the best day of my life! With the help of popo we get them to relax more in the sect and I worked hard to ensure that Ruohan won't destroy my progress. He's still hopeless with children but at least now he follows the rules that I taught him. And A-Ning has stopped stuttering. I know that it's good but I miss his cute voice. The three of them started to consider each other as siblings. I admit that I cried in my room that day. And I learned many things about Ruohan too. For example he hates stupidity. He has no patience for idiots! It was amusing watching him try and stop himself from taking the head of some incompetent idiot. My life is getting back on track. I have three children of the age of twelve,seven and five. All of them are happy which was my goal from the start. A-Qing and A-Ying already formed their cores. I have a good position in the sect and all the benefits that come with it and I'm in the middle of planning the murder of my enemies! But there is a downside too. In three days there is a conference that I would have to attend in Gusu. Which is terrible because one person I don't want to see is that old goat and his wall of rules. But I have to go. Ruohan made it clear that he will drag me by the ear if he has too. So of course I have planned our great entrance! I don't know why Ruohan found it funny? He's just weird like that. But I'm getting closer to figure him out. I see that there is a tension between him and the elders. They are the same ones that served his father. He always changes the subject when I ask about them but I don't like any of them. Many times I have overheard them pushing him to the war sooner. It looks like the war wasn't exactly his decision last time. I still need to look into this.

We were flying to Gusu on our swords. We didn't take many disciples with us. It's not like anyone will pose a challenge should a fight break out. We told them to go ahead and go to Cayi.

"You really are going along with your plan?"

He sounds amused. 

"You don't have to join me. I don't remember inviting you."

"And where's the fun in that? Imagine their faces when they won't be able to do anything about it?"

That's exactly why I'm doing it. I want to see Qiren's face when he sees me.

"What would people do if they learned that the fearsome sect leader Wen is just a menace to the society."

"I hope it will be a heart attack."

"Or a Qi divation."

"True. I wouldn't mind that old goat who is supposedly near my age but acts like a grumpy old woman having one. Or maybe two?"

It's nice to talk with someone with the same sense of humor. If I made jokes like that before anyone became offended as if I murdered their favorite pet!
I made my purchase and both of us wore out cloaks. Stealthy we made our way to GusuLan. Their wards are really weak...like really weak.

"Seriously? Their wards are so weak?! Why did Wen Xu need that snake last time to get in?"

Finally someone gets it!

"I know right! I broke in unnoticed when I was freaking fifteen years old! And if it wasn't for Lan Wangji no one would have known!"

"At this point my sect did them a favor by bringing their security to their attention. They should have thanked me."

"What did you expect? A basket full of fruits and a note 'Thank you for breaking into our home and burning down our library. It helped us realize the bad state of our wards.
Ps. The murder of our sect leader helped us greatly too. We could finally put Xichen in this position. Best regards GusuLan '? I don't think it will happen "

He was laughing now.

"But it should!"

We sat down and started drinking the emperor's smile. It was a really nice night. We talked about every little thing while waiting to be caught. It took them longer than it should.

"Who are you! This is GusuLan!"

And the last person we wanted to see is here.

"Hello! We're just drinking some wine to relax ourselves from such a long journey! Don't worry! We're here for the conference. We're not intruders."

"Hmpf! As if I believe that two beggars are here for the conference. And you're breaking our rules! You will be punished for that insolence."

"Isn't there a rule against judging the other Qiren?"

It looks like Ruohan is getting irritated.

"How dare you call me by my name! Do you even know who you're speaking to!"

"Judging by the fact that I called you by your name I do know who I am speaking to. I simply don't care. And is this how Gusu welcomes their guests?"

Qiren is turning an interesting shade of red. I snickered to myself. It is interesting!

"You! Guards! Arrest them!"

His disciples came forward. Honestly it's getting more and more amusing. We took off our hoods. I heard how everyone gaped at the sight of Wen Ruohan sitting here calmly and drinking wine. Wire became as white as a ghost.

"Look at this Mingyue. A Chief Cultivator who was invited to the sect isn't welcome at the conference he will lead. Such a shame."

For someone who was wronged he sounds bored.

"Yes that's true Ruohan. Everyone is always talking about Lans and their good manners and here we are about to be imprisoned for arriving on time tsk. What would the world say when they learn that?"

Both of us had fun watching them simply standing there and not knowing what to do. Finally I took pity on them. I jumped down from the roof and Ruohan followed after me.

"So? Where are you taking us? We do need to inform our disciples so they won't worry for us. They should have informed you about our arrival shouldn't they?"

I watched with satisfaction as Qiren didn't know what to say. I know that he was informed about it.

"So? Didn't you hear my Head Disciple? How long do we have to wait for the answer?"

Finally it looks like the goat calmed himself enough to answer.

"Gusu welcomes the Chief Cultivator. We knew you would arrive later than your disciples but we didn't know it would be this late. "

No apology for your words? And he didn't welcome me at all.

"Are you blind?"

"What do you mean Wen-Zhongzu?"

"You greet me yet you don't extend the same courtesy to my companion? I already introduced him as my Head Disciple. I thought Gusu knew how to greet foreign sects. My bad. And you didn't apologize yet for calling us beggars. Isn't human decency beyond you too? Even a child knows to apologize for their mistake."

I changed my mind. I don't regret coming here. Watching Qiren be lectured as a small child is well worth it.

"I... apologize. It was my mistake."

It was obvious how forced it was. He didn't yet learn how to hide his feelings. Not that he did in the future.

"And?"

Ruohan is getting impatient. That's not good for them.

"We...welcome both of you here."

That's good enough if I was a mere disciple and not Wen-Zhongzu right hand man.

"I don't think you can do more than that so let's call it a night and have us escorted to our rooms. Expecting good manners from you was our mistake. Lead the way or do you have anything else to say ? You did say something about punishment if I remember correctly?"

Qiren looked ready for Qi divation. He's not used to not being respected. Too bad for him he's not the most powerful person here right now.

"I will show you to your quarters. Please follow me."

We followed after him silently laughing . It was brilliant. But Qiren was looking at my face at any given chance. He must have suspected my origins. Will see how this plays out . Before we went in Ruohan said to him

"Before you go you need to check on your security. Your wards are easy to breach and your guards took too long to arrive. If we were an enemy you would be in trouble by now. Oh don't worry you don't have to thank us for bringing it to your attention! Good night."

And he slammed the door in his face. Yes. This conference isn't such a bad idea.

Chapter Text

Today is the first day of the conference and I must say that I'm starting to look forward to it. Qiren's face yesterday was priceless! Watching him bite down his vile words because he couldn't afford to offend Ruohan was the best! But it's not the end of bad news for him. I do have a little surprise for him planned~

"Why are you smiling like that?"

"Like what Ruohan?"

"Like you're going to ruin someone and enjoy doing it."

"Because I will"

"Are you going to tell me what you planned?"

Hmm...should I ?

"Don't you want to get a nice surprise?"

"I wouldn't mind a surprise, especially from you but I would prefer to be ready for any political nightmares you may bring my way."

"Why do you assume the worst?"

I pouted at that. He should know me better by now! I wouldn't make him trouble! Not much anyway....

"Quite the contrary. It's the best thing that can happen at those boring conferences."

"Fine! As you know we shouldn't be the ones who attack first."

"Yes?"

"So I thought that we could use this opportunity that they gave us and start with destroying their reputation."

"I see. And how are you planning to do that?"

"With the help of our special guest!"

He looked amused.

"And who is our special guest?"

I went closer to him and whispered the name. I knew it was a good idea since Ruohan looked delighted at my plan.

"I think this is going to be the best conference  Mingyue."

"I agree Ruohan."

Since Ruohan decided to go and bother the cultivators or in other words distract everyone from me,I could go and visit my special guest. From what I found out it should be over here...oh! There is a house! The wards that are guarding it are strong. It's a little surprising that this house has better protection than the whole sect. Too bad that they are here not to protect but imprison a person.
I swiftly bypassed them and made my way inside. I knocked on the door and waited. I'm not rude to go inside a woman's house. I heard an invite in. Once I was inside I saw one of the most beautiful women I have ever seen. She had long brown hair and stunning pale gold eyes. It's obvious that she's Lan Wangji's mother.

"Who are you?"

She looks weak... something is wrong.

"You must be Xin Yi."

She frowned.

"I am. But I still don't know you."

"I apologize. My name is Wei Mingyue and I think we can help each other."

"Is that so?"

For someone who was suddenly visited by an unknown man she acts too casual.

"Aren't you too casual? Shouldn't you be worried or ask for help?"

She laughed at that.

"And who's going to help me? Besides what can you do to me? "

It was my turn to frown. I came here because I wanted to use their mother against the Lan Sect. I knew she was in seclusion which is a fancy word for prison. She killed Lan Qiren's teacher. But I see that there is more to that.

"I think we should have a long chat."

"And why should we?"

"You hate this sect, don't you?"

"Why should it matter if I do?"

"Why did you kill him?"

She looked angry now. But I need to know.

"It has nothing to do with you."

Fine. Let's try another method then.

"Let's make a deal. A secret for a secret. Only truth. What do you say?"

"I don't care about your secrets."

"Even if I know the fate of your children?"

She suddenly threw a chair at me. I easily caught it.

"If you dare to even touch a hair on their heads"

"Then what? You said so yourself. You can't do anything about it. But no. I don't plan to do anything  for now."

"And what is that supposed to mean?"

"Do we have a deal or not?"

"Fine...I don't have much of a choice."

No you don't. I used empathy before she realized what I was doing and showed her my life. And all I knew about her sect. After that I waited for her to process what she just saw.

"You're right. We need to have a chat."

We sat down at her table and I waited for her to ask her questions.

"You're from the future."

"Yes I am"

"Do you realize what you have done?"

"Yes I know."

"What happened to that timeline."

"It doesn't exist anymore. The plan was to send my spirit back to my younger body before the siege happened. I didn't take into account how many people were there and how much spiritual energy will be used. Instead of that I was sent here in my own body. That timeline was basically erased. It's being rewritten with every day that I spent here."

"Those peoples souls...were destroyed"

"It's what they deserved after everything they had put me through."

"You gave them what they wanted. And they wanted a monster."

"Yes."

"So you're here to get revenge. That doesn't explain why you came here?"

"I planned to meet a criminal who hates the sect and ask you to help me destroy them. Who I met is a fragile looking woman imprisoned in a house without anyone nearby to provide help or assistance should you need a healer. Things don't add up. "

"I see. In the beginning I didn't like Mingchen. Honestly I hated him. Your mother..."

What? She knew my mom?

"You knew my mom?"

"Of course I did! Both of us were rogue cultivators. We often met and drank wine before I agreed to Mingchen's courtship. And it took me two whole years before I realized that I loved him too. Unfortunately his teacher didn't like me and my humble origins. He already had someone he would like to be the future Madam Lan and it wasn't me . He tried to sabotage our relationship from the start. Mingchen didn't listen to him but Qiren did. He hated me for 'changing' his brother. Then that night came...we planned to elope. My stupid husband confided in his brother and Qiren informed his teacher about it. "

So even then Qiren was an idiot...and to think he would destroy his brother's trust in him by betraying him.

"What happened next?"

"We met where we planned. We had a very nice dinner and then everything went black. I remember waking up with that bastard over me as he tried to undress me. He said that right now his daughter's future is being secured as he drugged Mingchen with a strong aphrodisiac. He said that once their child is born he would throw me aside. And then he started talking about teaching me my place and it was obvious what he planned for me. So I fought back. When I managed to get a knife on the table I stabbed him as many times as I could. I wasn't thinking straight. I just wanted him to let me go."

Shit. I didn't expect that.

"Then Qiren in all his glory opened the door with the 'witnesses' to see me standing over his dead body. Instead of a whore I became a murderer. They weren't listening to anything I had to say. No one cared that it was self defense. I was arrested and my Qi was sealed. It took Mingchen three weeks to come and see me. Qiren was doing everything to keep him away from me. He told me about the child...that woman was pregnant. They planned this really well. The woman they wanted was carrying a future sect leader and I was supposed to be executed despite the rules against killing."

"Those hypocrites!"

She smiled sadly at me.

"Yes. They are hypocrites. Fucking idiots!"

I laughed. This is Lan Zhan's mother? She's awesome!

"So we bowed then and there. We simply eloped in a prison cell. Romantic isn't it?. Mingchen was arguing with them that I'm his wife and they will not kill me. So we came to agreement. That woman's child will be the next sect leader but she would never be his wife. Both of us will enter seclusion. What they didn't take into account was Mingchen declaring in front of everyone that Qiren is going to be acting sect leader in his stead. He didn't pass him that title. They wanted someone easy to manipulate but Mingchen didn't give it to them. Even in seclusion most of the decisions especially important ones had to go through him. They couldn't do anything to me either. At least openly. And with Mingchen alive?. Xichen wouldn't be a sect leader. Not as long as his father was alive."

"Wait...then..."

"Yes. Both of us came to the same conclusion. In your future the elders allowed Wens to kill Mingchen. He was in their way. That took him out without anyone asking questions."

This is so messed up...that means...Wangji and Xichen are half brothers. Xichen is a bastard child. And he doesn't know it.

"Xichen's mother has passed away while giving birth to him. If she wasn't trying to get me killed I would even feel bad for her...but she was a bitch."

She is so blunt! 

"Then Wangji?"

"In the beginning I could see my husband once a week. Actually I was the one raising A-Huan as if he was my own child. They allowed it as it would be weird if the person who was supposed to give birth to him wasn't taking care of him. I fell in love with that innocent child. He wasn't to blame for his mother's mistakes. When I learned that I was pregnant I was happy. The elders? They were pissed. They knew that Mingchen would favor A-Zhan despite the fact that he didn't mistreat his first born. So they planned to take my child away. We fought with them over this. I didn't want to lose my children. Mingchen made another deal with them. He will stay and never visit me again and I will be able to see the children once a week instead of him."

They are monsters. All of them. I will kill them. The elders will not survive this.

"They took full advantage of that. Once Mingchen stopped visiting me, my children were slowly being separated from me. Till I was allowed to only see them once a month and it was only because my sweet A-Zhan was making a fuss."

Wow...just wow. But wait a minute.

"After you died...the only one who was still visiting you was Wangji...even when you were alive Xichen..."

"Yes. He couldn't connect with me. He treated me the same way he treats others. The only difference was that he called me mother. I don't think he was that sad when I died"

She raised him. He wasn't her son and yet this woman gave him all her love. And he moved on from her death as if she meant nothing to him.

"You're dying right?"

"Yes. They are poisoning my meals. I only have a few months left. So as you see there's nothing you can do to me."

There is.

"Let me help you."

"You're here for revenge. Why would you want to help me? I won't let you hurt my children. Or child at least. I may love A-Huan but he doesn't feel the same."

"I can get my revenge and help you at the same time. I will unlock your Qi and help you leave this house."

"And in exchange?"

"Go to your husband. Talk with him. "

"What is taking you so long Mingyue?"

Both of us looked in the direction of the voice. What is Ruohan doing here. He walked leisurely inside and took a seat beside me.

"I got bored and you were taking too long to talk."

"Wen-Zhongzu."

"Xin Yi "

"Seriously! We were in the middle of something here!"

"Yes. I could see."

He sounds weird...and why is Xin Yi suddenly amused?

"We talked about my predicament."

I told him the short version of the events . He was angry. Really angry at that.

"I have a better idea."

He has?

"Let's hear it then."

"I will help you and your husband take control of the Lan Sect. What I want in return is simple. First. Instead of becoming a minor sect under me I want our sects to be allies. Second. All your elders are going to die. Qiren and their followers included. It doesn't have to be now. We can wait for a few years and make our move then. Third. Lan Xichen may be innocent now but I don't care about it. He will not be the next sect leader . I will not touch him but should he go against us I will not show them mercy."

That is fair. I expected a total slaughter.

"That's all?"

"All? Xin Yi. Do you know how many followers the elders have? How many people break the imperial law in your sect? Let's just say that from four thousand your sect would be lucky to have three thousand left. And it's not like you all will come unscathed from this. GusuLan's reputation is going to be destroyed. You would have to build it up again."

"I can't make that decision myself. I will send a message later with my answer after I speak to my husband about it."

"Fine. Just send us a message."

With that he took me by my arm and started dragging me out .

"Oh! Before you go. There is one thing that you should know."

"What is that Xin Yi?"

"A-Zhan didn't hate you. I know my son. He may have acted very poorly towards you and if I was alive in that time I would have smacked him in the head for his stupidity but he didn't hate you."

Right. Because he liked me so much. Especially when he raised his sword at me.

"He made it clear to me."

"He loved you."

What. What is she talking about?

"Don't lie! He didn't care about me! He never acknowledged me! He told me he hates me too! He condemned my cultivation! He attacked me at the pledge conference!"

He didn't love me! You don't treat the person you love like that.

"Yes he did all of this. I don't know what went in his head before but at the pledge conference you weren't his target. The seal was. He wanted to get it away from you. I'm not saying this to make things difficult but to tell you that not everyone was against you. If he wanted you dead he would be there at the siege wouldn't he?"

"Enough of this. Let's go."

I felt numb. Was she right? Did he really love me? Why didn't he say so before? And honestly does it even matter? I bumped into someone. I didn't realize that he stopped walking.

"Ruohan? Why did you stop?"

Why isn't he saying anything? I touched his arm and slightly shook it.

"Are you well?"

"It should be me asking you that. Your Lan Zhan loved you."

Why does he sound so bitter about it.

"What's with you?"

"We should probably adjust our plans now."

Why? What happened?

"Why should we?"

"Don't tell me you still want to destroy them now that you know your feelings weren't one-sided."

That bastard! I slapped him in that stupid face.

"I guess I deserve that."

You fucking did.

"Listen here because I'm only going to say this once . I didn't change my mind. I plan to destroy those bastards even if it means painting the whole Jianghu in their blood. Once upon a time I considered him my zhiji. Someone who will be able to understand me and stand by me. My soulmate. My equal. "

His face became sour.

"I was an idiot back then. When it came to communication between us ,I made mistakes too. Both of us fucked up. He was worse than I. After everything that happened between us I came to terms with the fact that we would never be together a long time ago. Nothing. And I repeat. Nothing. Will change the fact that he abandoned me when I needed help the most. I'm not in love with him. I think that I loved the idea of him. The image I made in my head. There's nothing between us and there will never be. Even if he appeared in front of me now I wouldn't change my mind. So don't worry. My goal will always stay the same. Revenge."

He stopped scowling at least. But what was that about? And why did he dragged me away from Xin Yi?

"Why did you change our plans towards the Lan? "

"Simple. I want them to watch as their carefully planned scheme is falling right in front of them. I want them to live under the rule of the woman they hate and want to kill. I want them to be ostracized by the society for the crime they committed and then I want them to die. And who's better to execute them than people they want to kill? Although I would leave Qiren to you. I know you want to kill him yourself too."

That does sound good.

"And with two sects still in power no one would say that I'm trying to seize power when we slaughter the Jin's and Jiang's. And getting the Lan will cut the Nie from their only ally. It's a win-win."

"Fine. Let's do it your way. But remember that old goat is mine!"

"I wouldn't take away your fun from you."

"You better not!"

We made our way back to our rooms to eat dinner. Then we just waited for their message. It arrived after the curfew. They agreed. Tomorrow is going to be fun~

I sat beside Ruohan and waited for the others to arrive. Thankfully today only the major sects will have a meeting. The minor ones will attend on the third day. I saw Lan Qiren enter along with Nie Huang . Jin Guangshan sadly couldn't attend this year. Such a shame. After them Jiang Fengmian came inside and looked straight at me.

"Changze?"

How dare he speak my father's name! Ruohan caught my wrist to stop me from killing him. Even Fenghuang wanted to cut him. My sword hates him too.

"You are mistaken  Fengmian. This is Wei Mingyue. My Head Disciple."

I bowed in greeting. 

"Wei? Are you perhaps related to Wei Changze?"

"Yes I am. I learned a few years ago that I have an elder brother and since I was an orphan I wanted to look for him. Sadly I was too late and he already passed away."

He looks sad. People always told me how much Fengmian loved my mother but I don't think that he ever did...I think the one he 'supposedly' loved was my father.

"I see...I'm sorry. It's just that you look so much like him."

Of course I do. 

"Didn't he have a kid? "

"Yes Nie-Zhongzhu. Sadly he passed away too."

Why would Fengmian lie about it?

"We should take a seat and start the meeting. I don't have all day."

"Yes Wen-Zhongzu."

They finally sat down and started their boring meeting. I wasn't listening much. I don't care about the state of their sects. Nie Huang is an impressive leader. He is much more capable than his son. If I wasn't planning to destroy their sect I would love to be his friend. Too bad he has an idiot for a son. In his logic since Wen killed his father all of them should die. So since the Nie killed my family all of them should die too.
After the politics ended Fengmian once again brought the subject of my parents .

"I knew your father well. Your mother too. They were excellent cultivators . Your brother was my right hand man. Would you like to see Yunmeng? You can stay and see where your brother has grown up."

Since when is he an idiot? Did he just invite a Head Disciple of another sect to come and visit his and stay for however long he wants without even asking his sect leader for permission? He wants to steal Wen-Zhongzu's disciple right under his nose! This is disrespectful...on many levels. And I could see the other two have realized it too.

"Fengmian. Are you trying to poach my Head Disciple from me? Did you forget about my presence here?"

Fengmian is in big trouble now. 

"That wasn't my intention. I just wanted Mingyue to see where his brother grew up."

"It's Wei Mingyue to you. Don't act so familiar with him."

Ruohan is really angry at him.

"I apologize if I offended you. "

"Remember that. Wei Mingyue isn't Wei Changze. Don't confuse them."

Fengmian looks uncomfortable.

"How old are you Wei Mingyue?"

"Twenty five years old Nie-Zhongzhu "

"I see! You became very famous since you joined the Wen sect. It's nice to finally know your name."

"Thank you for your kind words."

"It's a shame that you haven't met your brother's family."

"I wouldn't say that. Cangse Sanren was a menace and I don't miss her. She got what she deserved. At least her son wouldn't go in her footsteps."

"Don't say that Quren. It's a tragedy that their son joined them."

Is that all you have to say  Fengmian? And Nie Huang is simply silent. Of course . What else is he supposed to do. Stop them.

"I see that Acting sect leader Lan didn't learn his lesson from the last time."

"You! Such disrespect!"

"Say one more word about my brother's wife and I will end you ."

The hell with my plans! No one will ever say another bad word about my parents! I refuse to stay silent anymore!

"You should know better than to threaten another sect leader boy. You wouldn't like the consequences."

I saw him touching his saber. They want a fight? Good.

"Acting sect leader."

"Wen-Zhongzu?"

"He is just an acting sect leader and nothing more. Besides you have no right to speak since you were silent and didn't stop him from speaking ill of the dead. Especially since the family of the deceased is present . Try to raise that stick at him and YOU wouldn't like the consequences."

"Wen-Zhongzu!"

"Shut up Qiren! I have enough of you! Isn't it stated in your rules to not speak ill of others? And how dare you talk badly about a woman who has saved your life! You're a disgrace to the Lan name! You force the obedience from others when you don't follow the Lan clan rules but hide behind them when your position is in danger! And you Fengmian! My friend? Are you sure he was your friend? "

"Of course he was!"

"Then why didn't you stop that bastard from speaking ill of Cangse Sanren?"

All of them shut their mouths. I was grateful for Ruohan. 

"We're leaving. You can finish the discussion between the three of you. And one more thing Fengmian. Their child is alive. His uncle is taking care of him so stop spreading your lies about his death."

We left them there. I was angry. I was so damn angry! 

"Don't worry. Tomorrow Qiren's life is going to be turned upside down. "

"I know.."

"Is everything alright?"

Is it?

"No. I lost my composure again. Thankfully the resentment didn't show itself."

"Mingyue. I understand why. Your parents names were insulted through the years. It's good that you're standing up for them."

"Yes. But I was this close to just killing them!"

"I know. Trust me. I know. "

"Thank you for stepping in."

"I promised to protect you. I plan to keep it."

Yes you did. But you're the only one who tries to keep it. Yanli promised me protection many times but never even tried. It's nice to be protected...to let someone else take the lead . But he's right. Tomorrow Qiren is going to regret all of his life decisions.

Chapter Text

Today is the last day of the conference. I'm still angry with them. The only consolation that I have is the surprise that I prepared for Qiren. I need to say that Cloud Recess is a beautiful place. Too bad it has so many rotten people inside. I'm near the river where I used to catch fish with Jiang Wanyin and Nie Huaisang. I was so stupid back then but my life was so much easier. Wait a minute....is that...there is a bit near the river...he looks... is that little Lan Wangji? What is he doing here? I started making my way towards him. I'm not even sure why. But it's good that I did because he nearly fell into the water. He should be glad that I was close enough to catch him. I was holding him by his robes. The exact way he held me when he dragged me out of the waterborne abyss . 

"Didn't they teach you not to wander around little Lan?"

Oh my god...he's pouting. Lan Wangji is pouting....and his cheeks! They are so cute! You just want to pinch them!

"Didn't you hear what I just said? You should at least thank me for saving you."

He's pouting even more now! I just want to tease him! That kid is so cute! To think he would grow up to be....no he will not. That Lan Wangji will never exist anymore. As much as I hate him...I will miss him too. I wasn't lying when I said that I'm not in love with him but it was still someone I considered my friend...someone I cared about.I don't think there's anything wrong with mourning him a little. I just need to remember that he's not my Lan Wangji and never will be. I think that's for the better.

"Mn. Thank you."

He mumbled that. I guess even now he's not very good at communication.

"What was that little one?  I didn't hear you?"

I wanted to tease him a little more and tried to pinch his cheeks. That was a mistake. He bit me! Lan Wangji...I mean little Lan bit me!

I let him go and he fell on his butt.

"Ow! You shouldn't bite people."

He looked at me with teary eyes. Now I feel bad for letting him fall. I helped him get to his feet.

"You and your biting..."

The older one bit me too. What kind of person even bites others?

"Listen kid. I'm sorry for letting you fall but you shouldn't have bitten me. I'm not sure what you were doing here but we should get back. It's not safe for you to be here."

"Mn."

Pft! What did I expect from him? Let's just get him back before someone realizes he is gone. I took his hand and led him back towards the buildings. For the whole way he didn't say anything. His serious face is cute....but I'm not touching his cheeks. I learned my lesson. While we were close I saw Land Qiren and Lan Xichen talking with each other and looking around. It looks like they already knew that he was missing.

"A-Zhan! There you are! I was looking everywhere for you! Why did you go away? You and Huaisang were having such a good time! You do need to spend more time with people your age."

And forcing him to be friends with Nie Huaisang who doesn't share any  interests with him is a good way for that? What about what he wants? Besides I wasn't aware that the Nie brothers are here.

"Lan Zhan! I told you not to wander around. You were probably going to visit that woman again. You already saw her three days ago. Just wait patiently. For the disobedience you should kneel for an hour in the ancestral hall."

Like hell. Is that why he was so strict with the rules? He is just a child! And by 'that woman' I think he means Xin Yi. No. He will not punish him.

"Excuse me acting sect leader Lan but you must have misunderstood. I got lost and by chance saw this little Lan over here. He was just showing me the way back."

Lan Qiren looked at me with his sour face but thankfully didn't say anything else.

"I see...."

"Yes. Thank you for showing me the way back. It's nice that at least some Lans have manners."

I said the last part to that old goat. There was a clear warning in my eyes too. Unfortunately I had to go back to Ruohan before the conference startled. I wasn't comfortable leaving him alone with them but after today they won't be able to hurt him anymore.

The meeting started as boring as yesterday. The only difference was sect leader Yao complaining about everyone and everything. His voice is so irritating . I could sense Ruohan's patience quickly disappearing,it looked more like a circus than the meeting of  'great' leaders. 

"Wei Mingyue. I would like to ask you something if you don't mind."

Fengmian? What does he want from me this time? 

"What is it?"

"Yesterday....I mean... Wei Changze's child. He's alive?"

So that's what it is about. Now everyone's attention was back on us. I signaled for Ruohan to not interrupt us yet. I wanted to see what he wanted.

"Yes he is."

" I see. I'm glad to hear that. You see I was looking for that child because I didn't want anything happening to them. I wanted to bring them to my sect and raise them alongside my children as their siblings."

I wanted to laugh at that. I remember how much you cared for me. I would never forget that even if I could.

"Is that so?"

"That's right. Sadly the townspeople thought that the child perished after their passing."

Why is he always speaking in circles. Can't he just say what he wants and leave? Yanli was the same. She spoke in circles to narrate the situation and paint herself in the best perspective before she said what she wanted. That way she had the crowd support when she needed it. I hate that family trait.

"Stop playing around and just say what you want Jiang-Zhongzhu."

"Yes. What I wanted to ask if it was possible for that child to live in Lotus Pier. You are young and unmarried. And as the Head Disciple you don't have that much free time. You didn't ask for a child either so I wouldn't mind taking him in. I'm his uncle too as Wei Changze was like my brother."

"How nice Jiang-Zhongzhu!"

"You're really a good person to take in an orphan."

"There's no way he won't agree! The child should be raised along with other children!"

"That's true."

That was his plan? He wants to force me to hand A-Ying over to him? It's smart to use the crowd to do that. Those parrots have no brain whatsoever. That's why we're planning to use them too. But I couldn't help myself and started laughing! This was too funny!

"I'm not sure why you are laughing?"

"That's true! Jiang-Zhongzhu is really generous with his offer and yet you're showing such disrespect to him!"

"Please let's all calm down. I don't think he meant anything bad by it."

"And how would you know that Jiang-Zhongzhu? Please don't speak for me. Besides I don't need your so-called 'kindness'."

"Don't be so full of yourself! Your brother was lucky enough to be favoured by sect leader Jiang yet he abandoned him! That servant ran off with his wife! You should be glad that Jiang-Zhongzhu still wants to help him by taking care of their child!"

Yao-zhongzu really wants to die ahead of his time.

"A child should be raised by family and not a single man."

Funny that it's Qiren who says that 

"That's quite funny. You say family yet you want to take away my nephew and give him to some stranger?"

"That isn't it Mingyue."

"Shut up Fengmian! You called him your brother yet you don't react when anyone addresses him as a servant. You had no idea what gender that child was. That indicates that you and Change weren't in contact in years. If you two were so close why didn't they stay in Lotus Pier? If they wanted to travel and be rogues they still could make Yunmeng their home without joining the sect. Everyone knew where their last night hunt was. Yiling isn't that big. I found A-Ying on the first day. Yet you couldn't find him in the three months that you had? Yesterday you didn't manage to get me to Yunmeng so you turned your eyes on my nephew? Listen closely. Wei Changze died a free man. When he left he had no connection to your sect. You have no claim over A-Ying. Drop the subject."

"I didn't mea..."

"Don't start. Just because you say that you didn't mean it am I supposed to believe you? You can't take back the words you said just because you 'didn't mean' it! "

"This is still the Lan sect ground! Show some respect to those who are higher than you."

Of fucking course! Because my status is below them!

"Then maybe they should learn to shut their mouths."

"Wen-Zhongzu!"

"Fengmian tried to take away a child from his family and you all were congratulating him! If you think this is such a good idea give him your sons and daughters. Don't force someone else to do it."

That shut them up. Of course they would listen to him and not me. This will never change.

"But"

"There are no buts. In three months you didn't find him yet A-Yue did it in a day?"

Wait a minute. Since when does he call me A-Yue?

"It's like you weren't looking for him at all "

"Wen-Zhongzu. We shouldn't judge others especially without proof."

I can sense them. They are really close. The main guests had arrived. Bye bye Qiren.

"And you know so much about it don't you Qiren?"

Lan Mingchen. The actual sect leader is here with his wife.

"Brother!"

"Is that Lan-Zhongzu? "

"Who is that woman beside him?"

"That must be Madam Lan! But shouldn't they be in seclusion?"

"What is happening?"

He doesn't look happy. Xin Yi must have told him what will happen. Now let's see how he is going to deal with it.

"Why are you here brother? And with her at that!"

They may look a little similar but Lan-Zhongzu is everything that Qiren isn't.

"Since when should I explain my whereabouts to you Qiren?"

"Brother!"

"Shut up! You have done enough already. "

"You damn woman! What did you do!"

"Lan Qiren! You are speaking to my wife. The Madam of this sect. Thread carefully."

"But the elders sai.."

"You don't have to worry about them anymore. Wen-Zhongzu we would like to ask you for your assistance."

"May I ask with what?"

Ruohan plays his part very well. Too well in my opinion. He is enjoying this.

"A few years ago my fiance ,now my wife ,was attacked by someone who was my teacher. While defending herself she unfortunately killed him. You know our rules. But despite them the elders wanted to kill her. They wouldn't allow us to investigate the truth either. We made an agreement. We would go into seclusion and they would leave us be. But we found out that the elders were involved in many illegal activities,even child trafficking."

Everyone gasped at that. They act as if they are innocent. Jin Guangshan is doing something similar but with women. We already rescued 167 victims in the past two years. Ruohan's spies are really capable.

"Normally a Zhongzhu of another sect wouldn't judge someone from my sect but as you are the Chief Cultivator you have that right. As I can't be impartial I ask you to judge them for all their crimes."

In other words he's giving us elders as a gift for our help and showing us his willingness to work with us. We can do whatever we want with them and he gets them off of his back. That gives them the chance to start cleaning their sect. Nice.

"You can't do that brother! She is a murderer!"

At the next moment Qiren was punched straight in the face by Xin Yi. Wow...just wow.

"Shut up you stupid hypocrite! You protect the real criminals and have the guts to call me a murderer?! All of you break your precious rules all the time! You have no right to judge me! "

Qiren was touching his cheek which already looked swollen. His nose had a nosebleed too.

"Y-you dare!"

And she kicked him in the stomach. Is this really Lan Zhan's mother?! And why isn't her husband doing anything to stop her. I looked at him and saw ...a fool. That's the best way to describe him. He looks at her with total adoration on his face...

"For years I had to deal with your disrespect! Never again! Now here's what's going to happen. You see your precious wall of rules? By tomorrow that rock isn't going to exist anymore. You on the other hand will face the punishment for insulting the Madam of your sect, insulting the delegates of another sect, breaking the rules left and right, assisting the elders in their crimes and overstepping your boundaries. You had no right to allow Xichen to use the forbidden section in the library! He is only twelve years old! You allowed other members of the old and grumpy club access too."

Qiren looked shocked. Didn't expect to be punished did you?

"Brother you can't allow her to do that!"

She wanted to punch him again but Lan Mingchen caught her wrist in his hands.

Is he going to stop her?

"Xin Yi. You shouldn't punch him again. He has such a thick face. What if you injure your delicate hand?"

The faces of everyone were priceless. That wasn't what they expected.

"You're right. I shouldn't waste my time. A-Zhan is waiting for us with A-Huan."

"Guards! Take my brother to his quarters and make sure he won't leave them. Give him my wife's meals too."

I could see how Qiren paled at his words. So he knew that she was being poisoned. This bastard!

"Yes!"

Now Qiren is gone. Too bad Lan-Zhongzu stopped her from punching him some more. She could have at least broken his nose!

"I see you have a weed problem in your sect. A big one."

"Yes. That is true Wen-Zhongzu. But I plan to start exterminating them very soon. Would you be so kind and take the elders to your sect?"

Ruohan's smile was terrifying to others but I found it very attractive. Like very attractive. What is wrong with me?

"Of course I will. But I must say that I would need a full report on everything that was happening here."

"Yes. I will make sure to send it to you. I would also like to apologize for the way your delegation was treated by my brother."

He bowed to us. Not just Ruohan.

"I accept your apology but I think we should talk it over some other time. I need to return to my sect soon. There is something that I have to take care of. My disciples will stay behind and bring them to my sect."

Something happened? That's weird. Why wasn't I aware of that?

"A-Yue. Let's go."

I followed right after him. Something isn't right.

"What happened? You didn't look as if something was wrong before?"

"Because I know how to hide it well."

"And since when do you call me A-Yue?!"

"Does it bother you?"

Actually no...I kinda like it when he calls me that.

"No..."

"So I don't see a problem."

"But what is bothering you?"

"The Lan sect isn't the only one who has a problem with the elders."

Will I finally find out why he keeps me and the children away from elders? I have a big suspicion that the war in my last life was started because of them.

"Do you need help?"

He scoffed at me.

"I'm the leader. I don't need help with managing my sect."

Seriously? That pride...I caught his arm and stopped him from going further.

"Weren't you the one who told me that I'm not alone anymore? That you would protect me? Aren't we allies? Ruohan. You're not alone too. I will help you. Just because you don't need help doesn't mean I wouldn't give it to you. It's better when two people work together than one doing everything on their own. I learned that lesson the hard way. Don't make my mistakes and push away people."

He was silent for a moment before he gave a big sigh.

"It's not a funny story."

"We have time. It will take time to fly back."

"Alright. But I warned you."

Chapter Text

I was waiting for Ruohan to start talking. Finally I may find out if my theory is right.

"Aren't you going to ask?"

There's nothing more that I would love to do but I will not.

"I would prefer if you told me your story on your own. Whatever you're willing to share I will listen."

"Hmm."

Whatever is between him and the elders must be bad. Must all of the elders be this difficult?

"I'm not on good terms with them. I never was. They wanted my elder brother to take over the sect. Too bad for them ,they got stuck with me. One of my brothers had the same ideology as my father. For them the only thing that mattered was strength. It didn't matter how they obtained it. Talent over blood. That's why my father was putting us against each other. The strongest one will become the future sect leader. Contrary to my two brothers I wasn't interested in this position. I made it clear from the start. They didn't care. They feared my power. In the beginning they pretended that they accepted my decision and everything was alright between us . Both of them plotted my downfall behind my back. One tried to poison me and when that didn't work he sent assassins my way. He was killed by the eldest brother. He on the other hand...after obtaining our father's approval challenged me to a duel. I didn't accept it. None of them listen to it."

I have a feeling that it didn't go well.

"What happened next?"

"We fought and I won. I refused to kill my brother. My father was pissed and killed him himself. He said that failures don't deserve to live. I was angry at him and everything...my whole situation....I remember that I attacked him. We were fighting...I don't even know when but in the next moment my sword was in his heart...I killed him. I became the next Zhongzhu. No one was happy about it. I had to deal with opposition from the sect from the beginning. I dealt with it swiftly. After one too many attempts at my life I had  enough and killed those who opposed me. The elders were still difficult but calmed down after that."

"But not for long?"

"Yes. My father left them too much power. I couldn't simply kill them without a reason. Who would join a sect if the Zhongzhu would kill you the moment you breathe too loudly?"

"No one."

"Exactly. To this day I fight with them for control over the sect. They want our sect to rule over the rest of the Jianghu. They push more and more each day. That's why I didn't want you or the kids around them. They wouldn't hesitate to hurt them and I know that you would kill them if that happened. Add to it the mess the rest of the sects are and you have a recipe for a disaster. I got the word that they are gathering some of our disciples to send and destroy one of the clans on our land. They often do this shit."

Wait. Does it mean he wasn't the one who sent his disciples to destroy other clans last time? He still was blamed for that...and it's not like anyone would listen if he told them the truth.

"I want to kill them. I really do. But the moment you go against your 'family and elders' you are an unfilial bastard. Everyone turns against you. And as you already know no one can win a war by themselves."

He just got tired from all the fighting and simply gave up. He became a villain everyone accused him of being. We are the same...both of us. We became monsters due to circumstances that shaped us.

"I will help you."

"I don't have proof for anything. I may have killed most of their supporters but their influence is still strong. Without proper evidence my hands are tied."

"That's true but I think we can still get rid of them."

"How?"

"The Lan elders."

He looked confused.

"What about them?"

"We can use them. And if you don't have proof just make one."

"You're planning to use the Lan elders as scapegoats."

He caught on fast.

"Yes. We could either fabricate the documents that tie your elders to the crimes that Lans have committed. But that would paint as in a bad light or we could kill the elders and frame the Lans for that. We can say that your elders were the ones passing the judgment and that a fight broke out. Then it doesn't matter if we say that they killed each other or there was some accident that caused their deaths. We can even kill some of their support by making them their guards. Either way we both know that the Lan sect won't investigate. And other sects won't care at all. We don't even have to give them much of an explanation with how stupid they are."

"That is actually true. It's probably the first time I'm glad that everyone is so damn gullible."

"The problem will be the rest of their people. We would have to slowly kill them off."

"That's true. I do have some ideas."

"Me too! What would you like to do?"

"There are some men eating Yao's that I can send them to take care of. Of course they would fail but it will reduce their numbers too."

" I feel a little bad for the Yao's, Ruohan. They would get indigestion ."

"Sacrifices have to be made. And what would you like to do?"

"I wanted to take a page from Wen Chao's book and throw them into the Burial Mounds."

"That could work too. Either way as long as they are dead I don't care."

"Me neither."

We continued flying on our swords and discussing the ways we would kill them. I need to say that I had a pleasant flight. Who would have thought that there would be a day when I end up planning murder with Ruohan? I won't complain. I like it like that.
When we arrived at the sect we saw our disciples ready to depart. Ruohan wasn't happy but masked it well enough.

"The plans have changed. Return to your duties. "

"Yes Zhongzhu."

With that they left. Only one person remained.

"Wen-Zhongzu. What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be in Gusu?"

That must be one of the elders. Ugh. He looks similar to Lan Qiren.

"Wen-Zhongzu doesn't have to inform you of his whereabouts. But I find it weird that the disciples where ready to depart when neither he nor I gave any orders like that."

He wasn't happy with my response. He looked at Ruohan to see if he would reprimand me. Too bad for him. I do need to repay him for dealing with my pests. It's time I will do the same for him.

"You shouldn't concern yourself with this matter. "

"As the Head Disciple of this sect I have every right. You on the other hand ,I don't remember ordering the disciples in their leaders absence being in your job description."

His whole face was purple. But he can't say anything about it. I didn't say anything wrong. And that is pissing him more. Perfect. He huffed at me and stomped away.

"Are all of them like that?"

"Yes they are. I think that all elders are the same."

He is not wrong. Elders in every sect are useless when you need them and act as if they were some gods .

"So when do we get rid of them?"

His only answer was a laugh. Rude.

Two weeks later they were dead. All of them. It was a little anticlimactic. I expected a fight ...or anything for that matter. Not them shouting and running around. We chose the option of Lan elders not agreeing with their punishment and attacking us in their fit of anger. Sadly everyone present there has passed away. I'm sure as I killed everyone who tried to run away. I left the rest to Ruohan. He deserved some satisfaction. And what can be better than killing your enemy with your own hands? He looked so happy ! Unfortunately we couldn't play with them...such a shame. I will need to leave all my games for the Jin's and Jiang's. 
Of course we informed Madam Lan of this. She too was very upset. She apologized for them and send us some gifts in recompensation. And Lan-Zhongzu did indeed send us a basket of fruits in thanks for what Ruohan did for them at the conference. I heard that Qiren had a small Qi divation when he heard about it. Xin Yi was of course worried for her brother in law. She was so worried that she personally decided to nurse him to health! Qiren sure is a lucky guy~
What I didn't like is her proposition of them visiting us. She wants to bring her children. Now that her health is recovering with her core unlocked she started to involve herself more and more with raising them. I wouldn't mind normally but I don't want Xichen anywhere near my kids...little Lan is complicated. It's hard to be angry at him when you see these cute cheeks okey! Ruohan thinks it's a great idea. Since he got rid of the elders and we're slowly trying to kill theirs supporters his mood has improved. It was weird seeing him so happy.  He even played with the children. It was nice spending our time together and playing with our children. Not ours. I mean they are ours but not ours-ours. I mean...ugh! What am I even thinking! And since when do I consider A-Ying, A-Qing and A-Ning my children? But...they kinda are. I teach them, feed them,play with them. They are mine in every way that matters...and I do enjoy seeing Ruohan truly happy. I liked his smile...I want to see it more often....so I think I will agree to their visit. Maybe there is a chance that even Xichen will change his ways? I doubt it. But I will give him a chance. If he fucks it up I will simply eliminate him.

"A-Yue!"

Ruohan? Why does he sound so angry all of sudden?

"What happened?"

He was clenching a letter in his hands. Whatever the context was. It must be bad.

"That fucking bastard has sent you a letter!"

Bastard? Which one? There are too many of them.

"Which one?"

He took a deep breath before answering me.

"Fengmian."

What does he wants this time? Can't he take a hint?

"What did he do this time?"

I only saw him twice and I'm already tired of him.

"Read it yourself."

He gave me the letter and I reluctantly read it.

Wei Mingyue,
I think that in our last meeting you must have misunderstood me and my intentions. I couldn't bear for that misunderstanding to ruin our relationship.

Wait. What relationship? What is he talking about?

Changze was someone very dear to me. I loved him as my brother. I always thought we would spend our lives together in Lotus Pier.

I don't think he wanted to stay brothers with my father. I'm starting to get uncomfortable with this.

Sadly he and his wife passed away. I thought their child was the last piece that Changze has left behind.

He never loved my mother. He only talks about my father...

So I was happy to learn about your existence. And you look so much like him too.

Now I felt chills.

I acted rashly because of that. I apologize. I would like to invite you and A-Ying.

You don't have the right to call him that!

To Lotus Pier. I would love for our children to get to know each other and built a sibling like relation.

Like hell!

I would love to show you around Lotus Pier and every place that Changze has ever loved. I would love to get to know you better. I will eagerly await your response.

                                                 Jiang Fengmian.

What the fuck?! It doesn't sound as if he wants to merely show me around! I looked at Ruohan in disbelief.

"You read that?"

"Yes. I know it was addressed to you but when I saw his seal I wanted to make sure it's not anything suspicious."

Why does he sounds so defensive?

"I'm not angry that you read that letter. I just want to make sure that you got the same feeling from this letter as I do?"

I must be wrong...this is sick...wait...if what I'm thinking right now is true...what did he plan to do to me once I would grow up in my last life?!

"If you mean that he sees your father in you and definitely wants to fuck you then yes. We got the same feeling."

I never saw him this angry before...what is with him? He must really hate Jiang Fengmian. But Fengmian is making me feel sick...if he was alive...when I returned from Burial Mounds...what would my fate be? He wouldn't touch me like that? Or would he? With him I don't know anymore...I felt Ruohan gently touch my arms.

"I will answer in your name alright? You have nothing to worry about. Don't think of the past. I will take care of everything here."

I only nodded in response and hugged him. I needed some support right now. I couldn't do anything else. My mind was a mess. To think...that this whole time...he only saw my father in me...so why would he allow his wife's abuse! Was it to punish me in some way for my father's leaving him? No...this sick bastard will pay. All of them will.

Chapter Text

Today is the day the Lan family comes to visit us. I already informed the children about it. A-Ying is excited about the possibility of making some new friends. He is just seven after all. A-Ning on the other hand is still shy but slowly lost his stutter which is a shame because I loved it. He's scared of meeting them but he is just five years old now. A-Qing is the same age as Lan Xichen which is twelve. She's the least excited. But other than her family she isn't interested in meeting different people. I'm not sure how to feel about the little Lan's presence here. I just hope that I'm not making a mistake with allowing him near A-Ying.

Wen Ruohan is encouraging me to allow them to meet and I'm not sure why. When I asked him about it he only muttered under his breath about eliminating the future competition? And something about having their own zhiji.... whatever that means. When it comes to Jiang Fengmian I'm happy to say that since Ruohan wrote him a reply he didn't try to contact me again. Still I'm a little curious about what he wrote there. He did look very pleased with himself....
Now we're all sitting outside and waiting for the Lans to arrive. We could already see them. Tsk. They did take Xichen with them. And little Lan is in the arms of his mother. So cute~ 
Who would have thought that an eight year old Lan Zhan is going to be this cute~

"Hello again!"

Xin Yi looks much better than before. She seems really happy too.

"It's good to see you again Madam Lan."

"Oh stop that! Just call me by my name! We're friends after all!"

"I wasn't aware of that."

"Didn't we bond over our mutual love towards Lan Qiren?"

I laughed at that.

"And how is our dear friend feeling? I was really worried when I heard he had a minor Qi divation."

She looked like a cat that got her cream.

" My poor brother in law is still recovering in his quarters. Despite my special care he doesn't seem to be getting better. What happened with the elders must have shocked him."

It's obvious by the confused little faces that none of the kids know what we're talking about and I would like to keep it like that. I think that her special care is the reason for him not recovering.

"A-Yi. You should be careful. You aren't healthy yet."

"It's good to see you Lan-Zhongzu."

He looks similar to Xichen and Qiren but he doesn't give me an unpleasant feeling.

"I'm happy to officially meet you. My wife spoke about you very fondly."

"Just call me Mingyue. We are allies after all ."

"Then please address me by my name as well."

"Are you sure? You are a Zhongzhu after all. I don't think others would approve of that."

"It doesn't matter what they say. Besides we are allies now."

I think we would get along well. I like him much better than the majority of his family .

"Now I would like to introduce you to our sons. Lan Huan and his younger brother Lan Zhan. Aren't my two dumplings cute!"

"They are but unfortunately for you Xin Yi they aren't as cute as my bunnies are! This is A-Qing, A-Ying and A-Ning."

Please. As much as I agree that little lan is cute he's still not in the league with my kids.

"Wife. Mingyue. Let's just agree that all of our children are cute and leave it at that."

"I agree. A-Yue we should let children go and get to know each other."

And leave A-Ying alone here?! Is he crazy! A-Qing has her needles and she makes A-Ning carry some too. A-Ying doesn't have any hidden weapons on himself! He's too nice and naive!

"Yes. Come"

He literally dragged me away . How dare he! What if something happens! I don't trust Xichen and I don't care he's not the person that I knew! And I'm still unsure what to think about little lan.

"Yes. We should leave the children and go. I have so much to tell you ,Mingyue. Especially about taking care of Qiren!"

Now both of them are dragging me away. Is it really a good idea to leave them be? Am I too paranoid?
I don't even know when we arrived in the guest pavilion.

"Now that the children are away what is your plan? My wife told me what she saw ."

"We planned to destroy your clan."

Nice Ruohan. Because that's the sentence you should start a conversation with.

"What changed your mind?" 

I leave it to Ruohan to explain.

"Your wife's situation did. Besides when I come for the Jin's and Jiang's if I don't touch the Lans no one will say that I want to take over the cultivation world. I will be simply doing my duty as the chief Cultivator and dealing with the corruption."

"I see. So in other ways you're planning to use us to your advantage."

"Yes. I think it's better than destroying you. But I must inform you that Qiren is someone A-Yue wants to kill personally. So don't go too far in your fun."

Xin Yi was really amused.

"Don't worry about it. I don't plan to stain my hands with his blood."

"And what about the Nie?"

I scoffed at that. 

"They will destroy themselves. Nie Mingjue is someone who , given enough opportunity will go to war with us. He may have wanted to end the Wens tyranny last time but it doesn't change the fact that he used the situation to his advantage and became the leading general to carry out his revenge against Ruohan. His motives were selfish from the start. From what I observed his father doesn't plan to involve himself in any conflict. So if he doesn't die the Nie won't have a reason to go against us. We will just expose their cultivation style to the public and let them destroy each other. The public would be against them because of the use of forbidden arts. Their allies won't help them,who would go against the major sects? And the Jiang's and Jin's will be destroyed by us. They will be isolated and ostracized by society. Slowly they would lose their disciples and influence. That would make their already unstable disciples lash out and fight among each other. In simple words they would literally kill themselves."

"Isn't it a bit cruel Mingyue?"

"I don't think so. They won't torture them or simply kill them because they can. They would let the consequences of their actions catch up to them much faster than they should. Their fate could be much worse "

Thank you Xin Yi. At least you can see how nice I am to them.

"And what is our role in all this mess?"

"Not interfere."

"I see Wen-Zhongzu. I agree. And I want to thank the two of you for sparing A-Huan for now. I may not love him the same way that I love A-Zhan but this is still my son."

"Just make sure he won't go against me or become a sect leader and everything will be good."

"I don't plan on getting him to be the next sect leader. A-Huan is too naive. He isn't happy with our decision to send the elders here. Even when knowing the crime they committed he's still on their side."

Of course he is. Qiren raised him after all.

"Ne... Mingyue?"

"Yes Xin Yi?"

"Would you show me around?"

What is she planning now? I looked at Ruohan to see if my presence is needed here and when he shook his head negatively I stood up and accompanied Xin Yi on a tour around our sect.

"What is your wife planning?"

"You're really impressive you know? You caught that up fast."

Of course. She wasn't subtle about it.

"May I ask a personal question?"

"Ask away. I will choose whatever to answer or not."

"What is your relationship with Mingyue?"

Why would he like to know that?

"And what is it to you?"

"I mean no offense. My wife would simply like to engage her son to  A-Ying you see."

Oh? She wants them to be together?

"Why? Just because she thinks that he loved A-Ying it doesn't mean that he would  fall in love with him now. "

Mingyue wouldn't agree with that. Not with how conflicted the little lan makes him. He should be glad that I didn't kill him for how he treated him last time.

"I know. She doesn't plan to force anything. When they come of age and still don't feel anything towards each other the engagement can be annulled. She just wants A-Zhan to be happy. But no one will force A-Ying to do anything he wouldn't want to do."

Good. Because I would change my mind again and destroy all of you. 

"I don't mind that. But it's A-Yue you need to ask."

"He would agree if you talk to him about it."

I doubt it. He's really stubborn.

"Besides you move him, don't you?"

So...he knows. Why ask the question then?

"If you know the answer why did you ask ?"

"I just wanted to see if what my wife had said was true. Why don't you confess your feelings?"

"And why would you care?"

Why is he involving himself in this.

"My wife likes Mingyue. She feels sad about his life and wants to help him find happiness. She doesn't want him to spend his whole life on revenge. And if you don't love him she wouldn't mind finding him a suitable match."

"She will not! He is mine!"

He smirked at me. Damn Lan.

"You're a bastard you know that?"

"Yes I do. But I'm still curious why you didn't make your intentions clear?"

Because he's not ready.

"Mingyue is in a much better state than he was when he arrived. But after so much heartbreak he is too scared to open up his heart again."

"Is that what you're telling yourself?

What is he hinting at? Does he really want to lose his head?

"And what is that supposed to mean?"

I really wanted to strangle him right now.

"Are you really content with being just friends?"

Of course not! But there's no way I'm telling you this.

"I know you think you don't need it but I would still like to give you some advice. It's my personal thank you for helping me reunite with my family. Don't wait. If you won't make yourself clear he would never know your feelings. You won't know if he's ready unless you try and if you wait for that you will lose the precious time you could have spent with him or worse. Someone else might come and steal him from you. Don't be a coward like me."

A coward ...I guess I am a coward. But how can I tell him what I feel? He's the only person that makes my heart race and my words stuck in my throat. All my power is nothing against him. I want everything he's willing to give me.

"Like hell this will happen!"

I heard A-Yue scream. What happened? Who upset him? I was already on my feet and going into the direction of the scream before I even realized that my body has moved. I found him with Xin Yi near the kids. I already started to look for the reason for his displeasure and I found it. Little Land is much bolder then I thought he would be. He had his forehead ribbon secured tightly on A-Ying's wrist. And the child looked none the wiser to the significance of that. Xin Yi was laughing and Xichen didn't look like he knew what was happening.

"A-Yue. What happened?"

"Do you see that!"

He furiously showed me their tied hands.

"Yes. I can see that."

He got even madder now. I could see the red sparkling in his beautiful eyes.

"Calm down. You're scaring the kids."

That calmed him down. 

"Mingyue. Don't be so angry! They're just children! Besides don't you think they would make such a cute pair in the future?"

Wrong thing to say.

"Under my dead body!"

Time to do damage control before he goes and really kills someone.

"A-Yue. It's not such a bad idea."

If he could he would probably stab me already.

"What. Did. You. Just. Say?"

"Lan Mingchen talked with me about the possibility of Lan Zhan marrying A-Ying."

He became silent. This is bad...I prefer him screaming than this.

"Listen to me before you object. I know that you want to protect A-Ying and our other children but you can't do it for their whole lives. There will come a time when they would leave and start their own families ."

"He is seven right now!"

"Exactly. If later in life he won't feel anything for Lan Zhan then we will simply break the engagement."

"He won't."

"Really? Are you sure?"

No answer. Just as I expected. I leaned closer to him and whispered to his ear.

"He's not you A-Yue . And this one isn't your Lan Zhan too. People need to make mistakes to learn and grow. Let them make their own mistakes. You know that the moment he is mistreated I would make sure to erase the Lan name from the history books."

"I don't like it."

"I know you don't. But in the future what would you do if he says that Wangji is the one for him?"

"But!"

"You can't stand in the way of his happiness. Give the engagement a go. Observe how it goes. If they fall for each other then good. And if not he would return here. And we can use the engagement as the tie between our sects. The reason for becoming allies."

He's getting angry again.

"You want to use our children..."

"No. I would never use any of them. I enjoy living and I'm pretty sure you would have found a way to hurt me despite the contract. I want to use the opportunity it creates. Not him"

He is thinking about it.

"A-Ying. Do you know what Lan Zhan did?"

"Mn! He was sad that he had to go so now we are tied together forever! No one will separate us!"

"Is that so."

A-Yue is so cute. 

"Master Wei."

Little lan? What does he want from A-Yue?

"Want to marry A-Ying."

"A-Zhan! You can't just say that! I'm sorry he doesn't know what he's doing or saying. Uncle would be angry if he heard you right now."

"I didn't ask for your uncle's opinion. Why should I let you marry my nephew?"

"Will love and protect A-Ying forever."

He hid his anger really well this time.

"Uncle! A-Ying likes A-Zhan too! Want to spend my time with A-Zhan too!"

"What do you know about love..."

I took his hand in mine to calm him down.

"Fine. I agree. But the moment you hurt him I would ensure you two will never meet."

"Mn. A-Zhan understands."

"Good! We're going to be family in the future!"

"But this is wrong!"

Why does Xichen have to interfere now?

"What is wrong A-Huan?"

"A-Zhan can't get married. Besides his partner has to be approved!"

"He doesn't. Besides shouldn't you be happy that your brother is going to spent his life with someone he cares about?"

Xin Yi there is no use talking to him.

"They are both males!"

"So?"

"Uncle said.."

"A-Huan. Your uncle did many wrong things. I told you not to listen to anything he had said."

"He did nothing wrong! " 

With that he left. They will have a hard time with this one.

"Sorry about him."

"Don't worry about it."

They stayed for two more days. But after they finally left I couldn't stop but thought about Mingchen's words. It's time that I make my intentions clear to A-Yue.

Chapter Text

I went to find Mingyue. Knowing him he is probably with the children. And that's where I found him. Teaching them the theory about resentment that he wrote.

"Do you have a moment to talk ,A-Yue?"

He stopped teaching the kids and answered me.

"Of course."

He looked at me expectantly. That won't do.

"Privately."

He frowned at that but thankfully he agreed. I took him to my private garden. I need to make my intentions clear. I don't want to lose him. Even if he rejects me... at least I tried. And it's not like I can't seduce him! I'm handsome. I'm rich. And I'm a capable cultivator.

"Why did you want to meet me Ruohan?"

I took a deep breath and prepared myself for the inevitable. Shit. Facing a man eating monsters is much easier than this.

"Have you thought about entering a courtship with someone?"

He tilted his head. 

"No. Why would I?"

Good. So no one caught his eye. I took the box that I have prepared and gave it to him. He took it and opened it.

"This are?"

"First document is the ownership of Yiling. Jiang Fengmian generously sold me his part. The second part is all the dirt on Madam Yu Ziyuan. All the people she had killed over the years and crimes she had committed. You can use it to slowly drive her mad and destroy her."

He took the documents and looked over them carefully. He looked confused.

"Are they?"

Time to say it.

"Courting gifts. Yes. I wanted to give you Yao-zhongzu's head but I didn't want to dirty your carpets with his blood. I know how much you dislike him. So I would happily get rid of him for you. Sadly I had to settle for that."

He looks stunned. I hope it's a good sign.

"Ruohan...you remember the people I hate? And you remember that I'm fond of Yiling?"

How could I forget? They are the bugs I need to kill in order to make the world brighter for you .

"I remember everything you have said. Every person that needs to die. And of course I remember the place that was your home. Now it's yours again. Even if you don't accept my feelings I want you to have it."

"This...this is so sweet. No one ever cared for the things that I said. Or was willing to stand up for me or kill my enemies...I have no idea what to say..."

Now he looks troubled. I don't want him to force himself.

"You don't have to decide now. Take your time."

"I think I will...I...I can't say no...not to you. Because I know that I feel something towards you that isn't friendship...but I'm not sure if it's love...and I don't want it to end up like last time...so...I will take some time and think about it. Are you sure you wouldn't mind that? "

It's not the answer that I was hoping for but this isn't a rejection. And he did say that he feels something towards me.

"I don't mind that. You're worth the wait."

Now he knows my feelings. I just need to use my time to show him how serious I am. If I need to I will become the most romantic person in the whole Jianghu. Now...what does count as a romantic gift? He did like my courting gift...should I bring him Jiang Fengmian's head and let it rest on our walls as a decoration? I don't think it's a good idea...the children may be frightened by it and I don't want it...neither do I want to deal with A-Yue's anger if I do scare them.

A courting gift....Ruohan wants to court me! Me! I'm not sure what to think of this... What do I even want? After the disaster that was my previous life I focused my attention on the revenge and my kids...

"Uncle!"

"A-Ying! What are you doing here?"

He climbed on my lap.

"You didn't return. I got worried. Why is uncle sad?"

"I'm not sad. I'm just thinking."

"About what?"

He may be smart but he wouldn't understand my struggles. And he shouldn't have to.

"Nothing for you to worry about."

"Did uncle Ruohan made you sad?"

Since when is he uncle Ruohan to him? What did I miss?

"Since when do you call Ruohan your uncle?"

"Aren't you going to marry? Will he not be my uncle then?"

Marry?! 

"Why would you think that?"

"I heard uncle talk with someone about courting you. I asked jiejie what it means and she said that courting is what A-Zhan and me are going to do before getting married because we're engaged."

This kid...

"A-Ying... I'm not going to marry anyone."

He looked scandalized.

"Why not!"

Because I have enough of zhiji's in my life.

"I...had someone who was dear to me...I wanted to get married to him too...but ...he hurt me really badly. And now I have different things to focus on."

Like raising and protecting the three of you and destroying the sects . I don't need anything else.

"That's stupid!"

That brat! Did he just call me stupid?!

"You don't need to resign from your goals ! You can still get married! And just because someone was an idiot and didn't like you ...it doesn't mean you have to be sad and lonely for the rest of your life!"

Who is going to be sad and lonely!

"Where did you get that idea from?"

"You sometimes look into space with a sad face.. "

He saw that? I wasn't careful enough.

" But Why do you think getting married to Ruohan will make me happy?"

"Because you're always happy when he's near!"

This ridiculous child.

"And how do you know that,hm?"

"You always smile when he does something silly, you like spending time with him, sometimes your face is red when you look at him. And you always go to him when you're troubled! Of course you like him!"

Since when did he become so observant.

"I don't want you to be sad anymore. Why don't you accept uncle Ruohan?"

Because deep down I'm terrified....my heart is barely holding together. It won't be able to survive another heartbreak.

"I will think about this A-Ying. Go and play with your siblings."

"Kay,just don't think too long. Someone else my snatch him away!"

With that he returned to his siblings. But his words have me something new to think about. What if he really falls in love with someone else? And why do I even care?. Is it really love? Or am I just attracted to him? 

It's already two weeks and I feel like I'm going crazy! I can't stop thinking about him...and his confession. And it doesn't help that he's always near me...just like now.

"A-Yue? How are you? You're distracted lately."

"And whose fault is it Ruohan?"

Now I feel bad. He looks really sad.

"I didn't want to cause you trouble with my confession."

No! I didn't mean it like that!

"I'm sorry. You didn't...it's just ..."

He took my hand and simply held it.

"It's just what?"

"I'm scared...what if you later change your mind? What if I only feel attracted to you? What even is love? "

Honestly I have no idea about anything at this point!

"You don't have to know right away. We can take things slowly. We would court for some years and then you can decide."

That doesn't sound fair to him.

"And how is this fair to you? I don't want to lead you on because I'm scared and undecided."

"A-Yue. You're not leading me on. You told me your feelings from the beginning. I know what I'm signing myself for. Are you willing to try? To give us a chance?"

Am I? There is only one answer to that.

"Yes."

"And that's all I'm asking. So from now on we will see where our relationship will go. No pressure."

Finally I felt calm.

"Mn. No pressure."

Nothing changed between us but at the same time everything did. Ruohan became much more bold with expressing his intentions towards me while still giving me space. By now everyone in the sect knows that Ruohan is courting me. And honestly I can't complain. He gives me very thoughtful gifts like destroying the trade agreement between the Jiang's and some merchants. Or chasing down a few Yao's to destroy one of the Jin's gold mines. And he did that for me! Who would have thought that Ruohan can be so sweet?

I still don't know what should I do with all the information on Violet Spider. She killed so many innocent people...just because she was displeased with their lack of respect they showed her....but I think I can use it. I made my way to see Ruohan. He needs to hear about my plan! I know he will agree. He was sitting outside and eating dessert. He is handsome...

"A-Yue...are you going to join me or will you stand there staring at me all day. On the second thought I wouldn't mind that."

He's still too full of himself!

"You're not that pretty."

I did join him at the table. The desserts look tasty.

"But you do agree that I am pretty."

Smug bastard. He knows he's handsome.

"Stop fishing for compliments."

My only response was his smirk.

"What brings you here? I always look forward for your company but you don't usually visit me at this hour."

I became excited again.

"Remember when you gave me all the dirt on the Violet Spider?"

"Of course. It was easy. She didn't even hide what she has done. She really thinks that her status is going to protect her."

"I finally know what to do with it!"

Now he looks interested.

"Enlighten me then."

"I will hide it!"

Now he looks at me like I'm crazy.

"Excuse me...but what?"

"I'm going to keep it safe."

"But why?"

"You know that I can still use resentment?"

"Yes."

"And it doesn't have any negative effect on me for some reason?"

"Yes."

"She killed so many people Ruohan."

He looks like he understood what I mean. Took him long enough.

"You're planning to use the ghosts of the people she had killed against her."

"Yes! I will let those ghosts hunt her whenever she will go. I'm much stronger than them. It will be no trouble for my ghosts to pass through Lotus Pier barriers and hunt her. I will ensure that no one else but her will sense them."

"You're planning to torture her mentally."

"It's not torture. I would allow them to get their revenge on her. I won't let them kill her...it's too easy for someone like her and I plan for that jealous woman to see the fall of Lotus Pier. "

"And what do you plan to do to her?"

"At the beginning she would see her victims everywhere. Hiding and observing her. Then she would remember everything she had done to them in her dreams. They would hunt her whenever she would go. And only she would be able to see them. The rest of the sect will take her for a lunatic when she starts attacking everything in her sight."

"And later? When we destroy Lotus Pier?"

"I want her to see as I sit on her throne. I want her to see as I burn everything that belongs to her. I want her to kneel in front of me as I whip her with her own weapon."

That image is a beautiful thing. I will make that dream a reality. I would kill her with Zidian after destroying everything she had ever loved.

"That is a lovely image."

"I knew you'll agree with me."

Sitting here with Ruohan and calmly drinking tea and eating dessert's is a very relaxing experience.

"But wouldn't it be better to slowly cut off her hand before you will go for the whipping?"

"Wouldn't she die from blood loss?"

"No. Unless her core is very weak she would survive. Besides we can have a healer ensure she won't die and then continue with the whipping."

This tea is delicious. I need to find out where he gets it from.

"That is a good idea. But what about her useless husband."

I sat that word out like it's a poison. I still remember that disgusting letter.

"I want to deal with him. But my first course of action would be to cut off his dick with a very rusty knife."

"That sounds good. Would you like my help with that?"

"No sweetheart. We don't know where Jiang Fengmian goes and what he touches. I don't want you to get some disease from him because your hands became dirty with his blood."

Ruohan is so sweet with how much he worries about my wellbeing.

"I have a strong golden core."

"Then use it for important things and not some worms unworthy of your attention."

I laughed at that. He always knows how to make me laugh. We spent the rest of the day enjoying our meal and time spent together. This is a really good day.

"Why is uncle so happy? Uncle Ruohan too."

"Yes that's true. My uncle isn't someone who smiles freely. And even uncle Wei looks really happy "

"Maybe they are discussing their marriage plans jiejie."

"Ne...ne! What do you think Wei-gongzi?"

The guard looked down at the three children and answered.

"I think that sect leader is expressing his love to Master Wei."

Then other guard added.

"Are you an idiot! Wen-Zhongzu is probably reciting poems to Master Wei!"

"That's true! With how light and joyful the atmosphere is between them it's obvious that they are flirting."

That were the thoughts of everyone who saw them that day.

Chapter Text

We spent the last eight years living like that. Simply courting and raising our children. We may have occasionally made some trouble for the other sects but nothing big! We were too busy gathering all of the evidence and witnesses. 

The only thing that I did personally is to let the ghosts of Yu Ziyuan's victims out to play with her. I must say it was a really amazing experience! Right now she is in 'seclusion'. Everyone in Lotus Pier thinks she is crazy! But I didn't let them get that far. I want her to be perfectly aware when I burn Lotus Pier to the ground.

On the bad note...A-Ying and Wangji's relationship is progressing in the way that I feared. A-Ying is in love with him. I already accepted the fact that Lan Wangji will be my in-law. Xin Yi is very happy. And Lan Mingchen kept his promise. The rules in the Lan Sect have disappeared. And Wangji was officially named an heir three months ago. Which didn't happen in the way I thought it would. Xichen was declared unfit to lead by his father when he once again refused to accept the reality of his life. Seriously it's already eight years! And yet he still refused to change his mind! He and Wangji aren't close either. And it's all because Xichen is blaming Xin Yi for Lan Qiren's permanent seclusion. He doesn't like A-Ying either. And Xin Yi taught her son well. Wangji made it clear if he doesn't stop with his disapproval he won't consider him his brother anymore. And when on A-Ying's sword ceremony he once again tried to break them off ,Wangji actually cut Xichen off his life completely. It was at that time...when he stood in front of A-Ying and protected not only him but their relationship that I accepted him. Reluctantly. I still won't be happy about it! Hmph!

On the other hand I must say that...that I like....no. I love Ruohan. It took me too long to figure it out and even more to accept that. I want him. I want to marry him. And after all this time I finally trust him enough to trust him with my heart. I plan to confess this soon. I won't make him wait for me longer.

But the first course of action is finally extracting my revenge. I can do the one thing I wanted to do since coming here. And our first stop is destroying the Jiang Sect. Wait for me Wanyin. We will meet again. And you will pay for every single drop of blood that my son has shed. You will watch as you lose everything you ever loved just like I had to. Now let's go pack. I need to look my best when I see the mother-son duo.

We were flying to The Jiang Sect. Three hundred disciples were already waiting near the forest for the signal to attack. They already prepared the arrays I showed them.I don't think we would need that many disciples but no one can know that three people wiped out an entire sect. On the front there was me,Ruohan and Zhuliu. We do get along much better now. Especially since he knows that I can rip out a core. But for some reason every time me and Ruohan talk he looks at us weirdly... especially when we discuss our plans. But we did give him a choice of not attending. I didn't want to force him to come. Yet. When he saw all the evidence he wanted to be here. And who am I to stop him?

We saw the main family waiting for us at the docks.  But only the leaders. None of them has changed. Both of them look and act the same. Even without me there nothing has changed. Ziyuan was released from seclusion. It wouldn't look good on them if she wasn't here to greet the Chief Cultivator. But she doesn't look good. I could see her makeup covering her dark circles. And she was discreetly looking around her. The ghosts made her paranoid.

"Wen-Zhongzu. Mi...I mean Master Wei."

He looked at Ruohan fearfully. just what exactly did he do to Fengmian?

"Welcome to Lotus Pier. I was surprised when I heard about your visit but I must say that I'm glad for it."

Why is he looking at me and not Ruohan? How can he show such disrespect! And it looks like his wife saw it too judging by the hateful look she threw my way. 

"Fengmian. Did you already forget the context of my letter that I sent to you all these years ago? Or would you like me to remind you of it?"

Fengmian became pale. Like really pale. What the fuck was in that letter?

"No. You don't need to Wen-Zhongzu. Now let me introduce you to my wife Madam Yu."

She looked at me with contempt.

"Shouldn't it be Madam Jiang? Since when is MeishanYu in charge of  Yunmeng? I wasn't aware of this development. Were you Ruohan?"

I looked at him with my most innocent face.

"I don't know A-Yue. It's the first time I'm hearing about this."

"Meishan isn't in charge of my sect."

"Then why is your wife not addressed properly?"

I completely ignored her and asked Fengmian about it. If there is one thing Yu Ziyuan will not tolerate is being overlooked. And she didn't disappoint.

"I'm Madam Yu! And nothing is going to change that. And you! I know exactly who you are! You're that servant's brother! You took their bastard in and now you're living in the Wen sect like you're some kind of Young Master! As if it's going to change the fact that you're nothing more than a parasite!"

Before I could say anything Yu Ziyuan was sent literally flying straight into the lake...Ruohan had attacked her...

"Wen-Zhongzu! What is the meaning of this! Why are you attacking my wife!"

Did Fengmian just raise his voice at Ruohan? I saw the disciples helping her out. She was hurt. It was satisfying.

"You dare to raise your voice at me? Who does your wife think she is that she can go around and insult my fiance."

Now his attack on her is justified. I could already see the commoners listening closely to our conversation. 

"F-fiance? You...you two are going to get married?"

"Of course we are. Fengmian you don't expect me to be forever engaged do you? And besides the reason that I'm here is that wife of yours."

"What do you mean."

"Read this."

He threw him the documents. We waited till he looked through them. At the same time that witch came back fuming and barely holding back more of the insults she probably wanted to haul at me.

"This... Ziyuan wouldn't do that."

I scoffed.

"Are you stupid Jiang-Zhongzu? She killed innocent farmers. She destroyed public property. She sent the beasts that she couldn't deal with to other territories. Let's not forget the people she tortured for fun. The amount of her victims is so big that we can't count them all!"

How dare he! Those people lost their homes and lives and yet he doesn't care! And he really expect us to believe she wouldn't do it? We didn't fabricate the evidence. All of this is true.

"A-Yue is right. And it's my job as the Chief Cultivator to deal with that. Yu Ziyuan is going to be arrested and face the consequences of her actions. Her maids that helped her are going to be arrested too. I will personally investigate if you as the Sect Leader knew anything about it or are you just incompetent. Your whole family is going to be questioned about those matters."

It's a lie. We're not planning to investigate anything at all. And we aren't going to question anyone either. The reason we talk with them publicly is simple. Everyone will know the reason for our arrival. Everyone will know the crimes she has committed. No one would be able to blame Ruohan for taking actions against them. And now we're waiting for Ziyuan to make her move . Because there is no way she will allow her children to be questioned or her reputation to be dragged through mood.

"You will not touch my children!"

"We're only going to ask them some questions. Nothing more. If they know nothing you don't have to worry about them. They would be sent to Meishan."

They won't. But she doesn't need to know that.

"And you should worry about yourself. You're under arrest."

"Like hell! Do you know who I am! I'm the Madam of Lotus Pier! You have no right to do that!"

Thank you! The more you resist the better!

"No right? After everything you have done you still have the right to say that?"

"Those rats deserved it! They should know better than go against their betters!"

And her stupidity showed itself again. She confirmed in front of everyone that she committed the crimes she was accused of . 

"Ziyuan!"

Too late Fengmian. Too fucking late. Now. It's Play time.

"What! I did nothing wrong. They should be glad that i decided to help them with their problems and not disrespect me! Ungrateful bastards! And you! You will not touch me!"

And she did what I wanted for her to do. She attacked me first with Zidian. She attacked Wen-Zhongzu's fiance in broad daylight,right in front of everyone when said sect leader came to investigate the matter of her crimes. And her maids followed her example. Perfect. Now it's not us trying to destroy them in the eyes of others. It's us protecting ourselves and retaliating against their aggression. They had started it. And we are going to finish it. Wen Zhuliu already destroyed her maids cores and moved to the next opponents. The onlookers have already left the scene afraid for their lives. Yes. Go and spread the word. Let everyone know what has happened here and who is responsible for that. And now with them gone we can destroy them without worrying about anything else. Wonderful. 

We gave the signal for our disciples to activate the arrays to lock Lotus Pier away and make sure the illusion will not show outsiders what is happening inside.For others it would look like we're trying to stop them from running away and to stop any possible damage to their homes in our fight but in reality we imprisoned the Jiang's in their sect so no one will run away and we can kill them without any interruptions. And most importantly. No one will know what kind of method did we use. I took Chenqing out and started playing. I summoned all the water ghouls and strengthened them with resentment before sending them to attack the Jiang's disciples. And I did something else. I planned a little surprise for them and Ruohan. I took out my jade and threw it into the lake. In the next moment a waterborne abyss appeared. I commanded it to destroy all of them. I'm glad that my array blocks the view inside the sect . I stood there and watched as the Jiang's disciples were desperately trying to save their lives with little results. And the only feeling that accompanied me was satisfaction. Watching the pier drown in blood make me happy. I saw Ruohan looking at me with an approval. He nodded his head towards Fengmian and I understood. He wanted to deal with him personally. I on the other hand had to go and meet my old friend. I already ordered Zhuliu not to kill Ziyuan. I wanted her to watch.

I slowly walked through the halls that once upon a time were my home. I didn't bother fighting with anyone. I simply let my ghouls rip them apart. Piece by piece. What a lovely image. I finally saw the person I was looking for. Jiang Wanyin. Fifteen years old Jiang Wanyin. He was barely holding on. Seriously how did that medicore cultivator survived so long in my past life...right. He had my core to help him with that. I looked at him and waited till he saw me. 

"Who the fuck are you! What do you want! Do you know who I am!"

He really thinks I care about who he is? At this point I wouldn't even care if he was a five year old child. The moment I would see him I would have killed him. But we are still missing someone. And there is out guest. Two of my ghouls were dragging Jiang Yanli by her hair. Wanyin of course tried to help her but I used my resentment to hołd him in place.

"Leave her alone you bastard! I am the heir of this sect!"

"Shut up."

"You dare!"

Ridiculous. Of course I dare.

"I'm happy to see you again Wanyin."

He looked confused.

"Are you delirious! We never met before. I don't even know you!"

No. You never met me. I know everything about you.

"Let's just say that we are friends from our past lives "

"And what is that supposed to mean!"

"You will find out soon."

I made my way to Yanli and looked at her. She was crying...it was obvious she was terrified. I expected to at least feel some sympathy...but there was nothing. This is the person who always dismissed my feelings...who gave me soup after my whippings like it was going to solve all the problems. She's the one who abandoned me first...I took Fenghuang out and with a swift move I cut off her head. That was the only mercy I could show her. I heard a scream behind me. Wanyin was trashing in their grip. Surprisingly he managed to get away and went straight at me. Without waiting for him to run to me I ripped his core out . I watched with satisfaction as he looked at me stunned. He coughed up blood and fell on his knees. I looked then at his core that was still in my hand and destroyed it right in front of him.

"W-why....you...I....we ...jie..."

He looked pathetic. I kicked him in the ribs. The sound of his bones breaking was like music to my ears. I watched as he coughed out more blood. Then I stood on his fingers and broke them. He screamed like a pig. Pathetic. I didn't even do that much. I grabbed him by his heir and made him look into my red eyes .

"You're probably confused right now. I know you are. All the questions in your head. "

He was scared. Good. 

"It hurts right? Losing someone you love. Watching as they take their last breath and not being able to do anything."

He tried to say something. Probably another insult but I slammed his face into the floor before he managed to do that. Not hard enough to actually kill him or make him incoherent but enough to give him a concussion and a broken nose. It's time to go. I walked into the direction of the main hall while still holding Wanyin's heir. Everyone who wasn't already killed watched me drag their future leader like a ragdoll. And Wanyin had a perfect view of his home being burned down and his disciples being killed. When I came inside ,Zhuliu already had Ziyuan on her knees completely coreless. She started screaming seeing me dragging her son here. While looking her right into the eyes I threw her son on the stairs in front of her throne. Then I simply sat there. In her seat. 

A-Yue didn't tell me about his pet abyss. He always manages to surprise me. And the look of pure delight on his face. I'm glad he is enjoying this. But as much as I want to admire him I need to take care of that bastard. I waited years. Fucking years to finally get my hands in him and now I can. I went straight to him and attacked him. He was a skilled cultivator. Not as much as the leader of the Nie sect but he can hold his own. Too bad for him,his opponent is me. I simply played with him till I saw an opening and took it. When he raised his sword to attack me on the left I cut off his hand. And I kicked him in the stomach sending him into a wall. 

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why are...you really doing...this?"

So he does know his wife is just an excuse. Too bad for him.

"Why do you think?"

"Mingyue"

I kicked him again.

"Don't say his name!"

He has no right to say his name with that disgusting mouth of his.

"You want to know why? Your son had done something unforgivable to A-Yue. Your wife too. Honestly your whole family did. You don't have to know what it was. The question you asked me was why,right? I'm doing this to protect A-Yue and A-Ying from you. I'm doing this because you got your eyes on someone you shouldn't . A-Yue is mine. Only mine. And you will regret ever laying his eyes on him."

And I pierced my sword through his dick. I did that three more time to make sure I got him. Finding it was difficult with how small it was and I wasn't planning on touching this thing here. I enjoyed every scream that left his mouth. And then I took my time to slowly goug his eyes out. Eyes that looked at A-Yue with want and desire. He won't be able to look anymore. And then I took him by his neck and threw him into the lake for ghouls to feast on. And met me tell you. They were really hungry. 

Now that my job here is gone I need to find A-Yue. He's probably already in the main hall. And there he was. Sitting on the throne looking absolutely stunning.

"Leave my son alone! He's done nothing wrong! And where is A-Li! If you touched her..."

She really doesn't understand her situation,does she?

"You'll do what? Your husband is already a fish food. Your sect is in ruins. What will you do? Scream at us?"

"She's dead. I killed her while your son was watching."

So he did end up killing her. How wonderful. He has blood on his clothes and cheek.

"Are you hurt A-Yue?"

"No. It's not my blood."

Good. I wouldn't want for him to get hurt. I went to his side and cleaned his face with a napkin.

"You got dirt on your face A-Yue. "

He showed me his beautiful smile.

"Thank you for cleaning my face."

"Everything for you darling."

"Are you going to fucking ignore us!"

That bitch still has the strength to scream?

"Right you're still here."

Did my beloved already forgot we have an audience?

"Did you forget about her?"

"With you here how can I focus on her?"

"That's true. I'm that amazing after all."

"Don't flatter yourself too much. But since she reminded me of her it's time I deal with her."

I know what he's planning. I took the seat that belonged to Fengmian and simply watched A-Yue performance. He took the Zidian of her hand and forced it to obey him. And then he started whipping her. She was screaming so loud I thought I would be deaf after he's done with her. He whipped her at least thirty times before he stopped. And then he took one of his hidden blades out and slowly cut off her tongue. He looked like a god. I'm going to marry him. Today.

"Are you done sweetheart?"

"Yes."

"Good. Feed her to the abyss."

And with this she was dragged out once again.

"You got blood on yourself again darling. But what do you want to do with this trash?"

"He sat at Ziyuan's throne again.

"With this pathetic thing? I want him to die painfully."

I love his vicious side.

"And how do you plan to kill him? And why is he so silent?"

"I think he's in shock. I don't think he even realizes what is happening here anymore....Everything feels like such a light punishment. So lets finish this. Tie him to the horses and rip him apart. I don't want any chance of him returning. But let's send his head to Meishan as a warning of what will happen if they decide to stop being neutral."

How wonderful. He is so smart. I stroked his cheek lovingly.

"Lotus Pier is our sweetheart. What do you plan to do with it?"

"Build an orphanage. I want this place to become an orphanage for street children. The children she despised will be raised here instead."

A-Yue is very nice and generous person.

"Then let's do that."

"What happened with Fengmian?"

"He won't bother you anymore."

"I'm glad. Let's return home. We do need to inform the other sects of what happened here. And send them an invitation."

"And what happened here?"

He smiled even wilder.

"We came to investigate the Madam's crimes. So it's obvious that we expected some resistance. We brought three hundred men if it came to fight. Not an army. But just three hundred men. Upon arriving we were met with hostility. She attacked us and a fight broke out. Seeing how far his wife's gone, Fengmian tried to kill us. Unfortunately for him , during the fight a waterborne abyss showed itself. It was made of the resentment of all the victims of Yu Ziyuan. With how many there were it's a surprise a waterborne abyss didn't form itself here before. Her sect was destroyed by it. Such a tragic fate."

I chuckled at that. But what invitation is he talking about?

"And what invitation?"

"Our wedding."

Did I hear that right?

"A-Yue?"

"I'm sorry that I made you wait for so long."

Does he really mean it?

"You want to marry me?"

"Of course you dummy! Who else am I supposed to marry if not you? I love you Ruohan. I really do."

He said it. After eight years he finally said it. I couldn't stop myself anymore and kissed him. I waited for this moment for so long. Finally he is mine.

Chapter Text

It's not a chapter but the letter that Wen Ruohan sent to Jiang Fengmian. Some of you were curious what was in it so here you go. It's just an innocent invitation for playtime between the children 😊

The next chapter will be probably published on Wednesday 😊

To Jiang Fengmian 

Hello Jiang-Zhongzu.

It came to my attention that someone in your sect is trying to impersonate you. Because I know you wouldn't ignore my advice and wrote to A-Yue despite my warning that I gave you the last time.

You see that person was clearly implying things that are certainly inappropriate. Things that may result in losing their manhood.

But I must say I liked the idea of our kids getting to know each other. This person had at least one good idea. You see A-Qing is learning to be a healer. She's currently interested in poisons and the effects they have on people bodies. She's fond of putting it in other people's tea . I'm sure she and your daughter would be great friends. We should arrange for a tea party for them,don't you think?

And lately A-Ning is learning how to hold a bow. Yunmeng is known for their archers, isn't it? I'm pretty sure your son would be great help with that. Target practice is the best way to learn after all. Especially when the target is moving!

And our precious A-Ying is interested in everything. But he likes A-Yue's explosive talismans the most. They aren't perfect yet and like to explode on its own.We should definitely let them meet! They will have so much fun with them!

Besides I'm wondering if we should invite your wife too? She would feel left out when we all meet without her. It would be nice to spend an afternoon talking about Wei Changze and Cangse Sanren. I'm sure she would love to read that letter too and find the person responsible for that. I'm sure her prized weapon would be great in punishing a fool like that. 

I will eagerly await your response.

                                   The Clan Leader You Should Notify First Before Writing To His Head Disciple

                                              Wen Ruohan 

P.S 

I hope you address the letter correctly this time. It would be a shame if by accident some of your disciples lost their way in Qishan ,wouldn't it?

Chapter Text

The news of the Yunmeng Jiang demise has spread far and wide. It shocked the whole Jianghu. One of the major sects was wiped out in a day...no one knew exactly what to say. In just two days the GusuLan sect called for an emergency conference and invited every clan in the Jianghu to attend. Sect leader Lan managed to calm down the minor sects who were too terrified to come as they feared us. I was pleased with their reactions. They should fear. Honestly I didn't want to attend. I was too busy calming down our children. I didn't tell them the truth...I couldn't admit to A-Ying what has really happened in Lotus Pier. He shouldn't have to burden himself with the ugly truth.

"Are you excited for the conference?"

"I'm not Xin Yi and you know that. "

She only laughed at me. I'm a little surprised that she's not scared of me. She knows exactly what had happened.

"Why are you here?"

"I just wanted to talk with my dear friend. "

Like I would believe her.

"Right."

"Rude! You should have more faith in people!"

No. I will never make that mistake again.

"I will not."

"And why not?"

"Because that's what killed my family."

At least she became serious.

"Is that why you tortured the Jiang clan?"

"Yes. You knew what I was planning. And you know that my reasons to let the Lans go weren't selfless."

"I know. Still I never thought you would go that far. You're really similar to your mother ,you know? And you have her heart too. I saw it in your memories. It's surprising how far you can go...all those people. Young and old. Don't you care for the innocent ones?"

Did anyone care about me? Did the civilians care about me when they slandered my name left and right? When they avoided me? Did they care when the sects came to kill me? No. The answer is no. And the disciples? They never cared for me too...they never tried to get anyone to interfere when I was unjustly punished. And the ones after the sect was rebuild...they treated me as an outsider. I wasn't part of the clan in their minds. Besides. There is no way none of them knew about Yu Ziyuan's killing people left and right.

"No. I don't."

"I don't believe it."

"What is your point.?"

"I'm just trying to understand you."

Why? It won't change anything. My revenge has just started.

"Believe it or not I consider you my friend. I worry that you let the want of revenge blind you to what you have."

Hm? What is she talking about?

"And what do I have?"

"A family. You have three amazing children that love you with all their hearts. You have the Dafan Wen family back. And you have Ruohan too. Wouldn't it be better to let them live and see you thriving? Even if I understand the motivation to kill the main family I don't understand why you killed the children too. At this point in time they did nothing wrong."

Is she delusional? She wanted me to let Wanyin go?

"I know very well that I have a family again."

"Really?"

She doesn't know what she's talking about.

"Yes I do. And now...no one will take them away from me again. You have no clue what you're talking about. Do you know how it feels when one day your parents die and leave you with nothing? How hard it is to survive on the streets? When you're vulnerable. When you have no roof over your head and no food? Do you know how happy I was when Fengmian picked me up? The hope that finally I'm not alone? That I have family...a home...do you have any clue how much it hurts when that hope is destroyed? When every grain of rice you eat is adding more to the debt that they hold over your head? When you have to be skilled as to not waste the opportunity that they generously gave me but not enough to be stronger than the sect heir? To listen how your parents names are slandered and not be able to do anything about it? To be whipped with a first class spiritual weapon...to satisfy an old bitter woman? To be less than you are so the person you consider your brother won't hate you completely? No...you don't. Do you know how much it hurts to have your second home... because despite that it was my home...be burned down?"

"Mingyue.."

"Don't. I watched as my home was burned down. After the person that was supposed to protect me... whipped me and nearly cut off my hand...and then blamed me for what happened...do you know that she only let me go to protect Wanyin...the same one who nearly killed me with his own hands? And her husband ordered me the same? To protect his children? You may have seen it but do you know how much it hurts...to have a part of yourself be cut out and be placed in someone else? Because I do."

I don't care how pale she is now. She wanted to understand...so she will.

"Do you know that the ghosts in Burial Mounds are very creative when it comes to torture? They make you relive your whole life...they make false scenarios and torture you with them...they break every bone in your body....and make sure you feel every single thing. You can't hide from them. They are everywhere...they touch you and hurt you and there's nothing you can do...no place to rest...it's impossible to sleep there....you can only exist and let them do what they want...while thinking about why you are there in the first place.And there's nothing to eat there...I had to eat human flesh....to survive the three months that I spend there...the first time I ended up vomiting everything out...and then I had to force myself to eat more... until it stayed in my stomach... The need to see the Wens suffer was what kept me going....but I still had my humanity...or what was left of it."

"Mingyue...l don't know what to say."

"And you don't have to. I gave the Wens what they deserved. I let Wen Chao experience some of the things that I did...I ended the war. And I stopped after that. I believed that everything will work out now. That my suffering has ended. And I was ostracized by my allies. Treated like some animal that needed a collar now,that the war has ended. My every move was observed and criticized. I watched as they crowned a knew tyrant in the place of the old. I watched as they tortured,raped and killed the innocent Wens. And I took them with me and returned to my prison to make a living there...I left them alone. I didn't leave Yiling. I believed that they would leave me alone. They didn't. The rumors were getting more and more ridiculous. We couldn't afford to buy anything and no one would buy my talismans since my dear brother declared me the enemy of the cultivation world. And yet I built myself a family...a sister...a younger brother...my uncle and my granny...and most importantly my son. I watched as all of them were being cut down...no one cared that they were innocent....NO ONE! My faith in people destroyed my family...a real one that accepted me....and the worst part? My son. My beautiful child. The only light that I had was snatched away from me by my brother! I watched as life has left his eyes...so no. What was left of my humanity has died alongside my son. I don't care that they didn't do anything yet. They simply won't get a chance to do it now. I took a page from their books. They made the Wens pay for Ruohan's mistakes so I made them pay for their future selfs mistakes. I don't care that they don't even know why. They will spend the rest of their existence while awaiting to return to the cycle of reincarnation wondering why this happened. They should be glad that I didn't destroy their chances at reincarnation."

Now she's speechless? Too late for that.

"I'm sorry that this happened to you."

"It won't change anything. The Jin's will die too."

"I know. I just don't want you to lose sight of what is important to you because you're too focused on what happened to you. "

It's not like I killed alk of them. It would be weird if we didn't save anyone there.

"I know. I won't. But not everyone is dead."

"What do you mean?"

"The disciples that hadn't got their swords yet...were left alone...the civilians and servant too...the rest? Dead. And I don't regret it."

"I see. I'm glad that at least some of them are alive."

It's not like they will say anything to anyone.

"Wen-Zhongzu...all of us are curious about what happened at Lotus Pier. Of course we're not questioning you. We are just curious. And the rumors aren't clear enough to explain the situation"

Jin Guangshan is a coward as always. Even while asking such a simple question he is trembling like an idiot.

"You all get the report didn't you? What else do you want?"

"The whole sect is dead. Wouldn't you like to know how if the situation was reversed?"

Nie-Zhongzu is really irritating.

"As you all know already I came there with my people to investigate the matter of murders committed by Madam Jiang. She whipped to death farmers and destroyed the life hood of many others. She tortured people she didn't like too. You all have the proof of that. I submitted it to you and I didn't have too do that."

"Yes...we have it."

"Then as you all heard from numerous accounts. She admitted to everything. Unfortunately she attacked us first and tried to kill us. You all know that too. The witnesses already told you that."

Ruohan speaks to them as if he is explaining a simple concept to children. It's hilarious.

"We activated an array to keep the civilians safe and tried to... literally not die. What we didn't expect was Madam Yu number of victims being so high that a waterborne abyss appeared in their lakes. I had to keep my people safe and ordered to retreat. She on the other hand ordered everyone to stay and fight. It was a total chaos. At some point some disciples tried to run away and Yu Ziyuan didn't like it so she ordered some of hers to kill them so as to not make Yunmeng lose face. They started killing each other.So no. We didn't kill them."

No we didn't. We slaughtered them and that is a difference.

"The abyss did. It took hours to seal it away before it was safe again. Sadly only the servants and the little ones that didn't got their swords yet were alive. Injured but alive."

We really thought of everything. Good for us. They can't do anything about it. It's not like they would but being painted as enemy wouldn't be good for us.

"I see."

No one has anything to say? Good.

"And now that you all know what happened because clearly you aren't able to read the reports and look at the evidence presented right in front of you I have an announcement."

That got their attention. They look scared again.

"I'm planning to investigate every sect."

The uproar was to be expected. Honestly I'm surprised they waited this long.

"Silence! The commoners are terrified that the situation with the Jiang's will repeat itself again. We need to calm them down. Besides if you have nothing to hide there isn't anything to fear, right?"

Watching them shut their mouths is satisfying too.

"And I would like to invite you all to my wedding. I'm marrying A-Yue in five months. I expect you all to attend. Dismissed."

I stood up and left with him. There was nothing left for us to say anyway. Now all of them will try and hide all the evidence of the crimes they committed not knowing it's too late. The next months are going to be interesting.

Chapter Text

I won't post anything in the next two weeks. I planned to add another chapter today but I couldn't finish it. I'm in the middle of renovating my room(scraping the old paint off the walls is a pain in the ass! And my wrists hurt...). I thought I would manage but between this and my work I don't have time for anything else. I don't want to add any new chapters that are going to be written in a hurry and probably won't make any sense so I decided to take a break from writing to finish that stupid room (I'm definitely not happy about it 😞....I'm really not happy with this...) so the next chapters of both works are going to be published 🤔 I think we will finish around 15th February so maybe two days later? I think sth like that.

Wish me luck and strength because I need it 🥲

Chapter Text

The day of my wedding is finally here. I never expected to get married in this life. Especially to Wen Ruohan. I'm happy that A-Ying, A-Ning and A-Qing are going to be here with me. My parents tablets are prepared too. I spent the last weeks organizing everything. For some reason Ruohan didn't want me involved in anything else . I know he's planning something but I decided to leave it be. He will tell me when he's ready.

Now I'm wearing red. And in a moment I will meet my partner and we will take our bows. I must say that I'm excited. It's nice to not think about anything else other than my family. I don't remember the last time I was this relaxed.

"Uncle! You look amazing! "

A-Ying is soo cute! He looks great in Wen colors.He may be fifteen already but to me he is still that small child that I picked up in Yiling. I love seeing him free and unburdened.  

"Do I?"

"Yes you do."

A-Qing is the same as last time...minus the fear of losing everything she holds dear. Seriously with me as a parent she should have ended more carefree! But she's even more strict than in my past life! Where did I go wrong?

"Thank you A-Qing. But shouldn't the two of you be at the banquet? And where is A-Ning?"

"Uncle! I had to see you ! And A-Ning is distracting the guards!"

I chuckled at that. Just imagining little Wen Ning distracting the guards is hilarious.

"Of course he is."

"And I wanted to tell you that you can still back off if you wanted."

Does she not want me to marry Ruohan? She never said anything before... although she did her frowning face when she heard about our engagement...

"Do you not want me to marry Ruohan?"

"Of course not! You deserve much more than our uncle! Just because he realized how amazing you are doesn't mean that I approve."

I burst out laughing. Of all the reasons that I expected this wasn't one of them. She thinks that Ruohan...her uncle by blood doesn't deserve me! This is great! I can't wait to tell him that! And she said it with such a straight face too!

"Don't laugh uncle! Jiejie is absolutely right! You deserve the best in the whole world!"

These lovely children. When they speak like that I can't help but want to keep them with myself forever. Where I can protect them all the time. Sadly I know that I can't and someday they will start their own families. And I know that A-Ying is going to be first...I see the way he looks at Wangji. Ruohan is right. He will end up marrying him and when that time comes I will stay by his side and support him...even if it means letting him go. 

"And who do you think is the best?"

I changed my mind. They are even cuter when they have their thinking faces on.

"Listen. If there is one thing I have learned in my life is that love isn't in worthiness. I want to marry Ruohan because I love him. I feel safe with him.  And that's all that matters. He makes me happy."

"Good. But if he does something to hurt you just tell me and I will stick him with my needles. I learned how to make someone impotent with just a few needles."

"And I will help!"

I wonder what face will Ruohan make when he hears of his dear niece's plans.

Our wedding went perfectly. All of the attending sects were sitting still and subdued. And for some reason I didn't see anyone from the Jin sect . There wasn't anyone from the Nie sect either...weird. Ruohan doesn't look worried. He looks happy. Very happy. Something good must have happened. I wonder who he killed to put him in such a good mood. I will ask him later when we're alone. I  made my way to him and the ceremony began. It was simple. Just like I wanted. We made our three bows and celebrated with everyone  our union. A-Ying was the loudest in congratulating us. He didn't leave Lan Wangji's side at all. He took him everywhere he went. And Lan Wangji let him. He accompanied A-Ying wherever he went and fed him all the snacks in the meantime. He didn't try to silence him either. It's weird... seeing them like that. But it's not unpleasant. As long as he doesn't mistreat A-Ying...I drank and spend the night watching as every sect leader except from the Lans tried to curry favor from Ruohan. Stupid people. Later he led us to our room and I waited till he took this awful veil off. I still don't know how everyone managed to talk me into wearing it. How do women deal with it?! It's so heavy and uncomfortable. Even if it doesn't cover my whole face! After what felt like eternity my head was finally free and Ruohan gave me a cup of wine. He knows me so well.

"Did you enjoy yourself A-Yue?"

"I did. Although I was surprised that no one from the Jin sect showed up."

I knew it. Just by looking at the pleased look in his eyes I can say that he had a hand in it.

"Will you tell me what you were up to when I was planning our wedding?"

"Is this really a conversation to be held on our wedding night?"

Of course! I waited the whole evening to ask that.

"Yes. Don't try to change the subject."

He sat beside me and took my wine away. Rude.

"Jin Guangshan is dead."

What? But I didn't do anything to that manwhore! How dare he die!

"Don't pout my love. I took care of him."

Why would he do this without me! I had so many ideas!

"Why? We were supposed to destroy the Jin's together!"

How could he?

"Because I saw how you lost yourself."

"What? When?"

"Don't get me wrong A-Yue. I don't care that the Jiang's are gone. I don't care that Jiang Yanli and Jiang Wanyin are dead. But I saw what it did to you. How lost in your powers you became. As lovely as you looked covered in their blood your eyes held no humanity in them."

What? What does he mean...why did he phrase it like that. I understand if he said that my eyes where emotionless...but why did he use the term humanity?

"I see that you're confused. A-Yue. You can use resentment without any side effects. No cultivator can do that. Have you never wondered why is that?"

I did. But I was focused on my revenge and children and later on my building relationship with Ruohan that I stopped questioning it.

"A-Yue. At Lotus Pier...Your eyes were red. And your nails were longer. Even your ears became a little pointed. I suspected it before but whatever ritual you used...it changed you. Or maybe it was the Burial Mounds itself."

Changed me how? Am I a demon?

"So what? You're saying I'm a demon? But I have a golden core!"

It's impossible...this shouldn't be happening.

"Not exactly. The interference of Burial Mounds changed you into something like a half demon. Honestly it's the first time I'm seeing one. The energies in your body coexist with each other. You are one of a kind A-Yue."

I'm...a half demon? Did he said that he suspected it?!

"Why? How did you know? Why didn't you tell me."

"In the beginning...the first time you lost control...I saw how your body changed. I think the outbursts that you were having weren't just trauma. It was your body adapting to the changes. The red flame on your forehead. I read that only demons got them. But you had a golden core which confused me. That's why I think you are only half demon. And to answer your second question. I didn't tell you because I wasn't sure how you will react when your body adapts to the changes besides you didn't hurt anyone.And later it didn't matter to me. So I simply forgot."

Alright...I understand why he didn't tell me before. And I know that it should scare me but it doesn't. I don't feel any different about myself. 

"You don't care?"

"No. I don't care about what you are. I care about who you are. It's obvious that you're not used to your powers. You never learned how to use them and I never encouraged you to do so. We were too focused on anything else to do it but now I know it was a mistake. I don't want them to overwhelm you. So I thought that a break would do you some good. Spending time with our children. And I was right. You were happy. Calm. Unburdened. So I decided to take the matters in my own hands and deal with the rest of the pests."

This is kind of sweet. The way he cares about me. No one ever put me first.

"You really don't care?"

"Why should I? You are you."

I thought he would never surprise me anymore and of course he has to prove me wrong. I kissed him lightly on the lips. 

"But that doesn't explain how Jin Guangshan died?"

The pleased look on his face was back. His smirk is deadly. My knees are weak...he knows what he's doing to me.

"As much as I would love to deal with them as we dealt with the Jiang's I decided not to. I met with Madam Jin and told her about my proposition. She was very happy to agree."

I have a feeling that she wasn't. She was Yu Ziyuan's sworn sister after all.

"And what was the proposition? Should I be jealous?"

"Never. I have my eyes on you only. I showed her the proof of her husband's infidelity."

"But she already knows it."

"Yes. But I still showed her a living proof. Especially Qin Su who is still unaware of her heritage."

He just had to rub salt on the wound. I like it . I never liked Madam Jin.

"I showed her proof of his other crimes . Especially about the women he sold into prostitution. I made it clear that I don't want him in power. I will not accept the elders who follows him too. So I told her that if she doesn't want to join her sworn sister she should take over the sect and execute them. She wasn't happy with this as it would shake the whole sect. With all of them dead her authority will be challenged at every turn. The Jin has many fractions. And all of them want power. She would have to fight with them to secure her son's future. If he lives to see that day that's it."

In other words the Jin's are going to be in a war with each other and other sects under their banner will use this opportunity to get some of their influence and resources away. Jin Zixuan will have a really hard time. He would have to look over his shoulder every day. Poison, assassination...there are many ways to get rid of someone. The Jin's will destroy itself. It's beautiful.

"That's perfect!"

"I knew you would like it. But now that you got all your answers can we go to the pleasant part of our wedding. Sweetheart you look breathtaking and I really can't stop myself anymore."

He was really patient.

"Then what are you waiting for? Kiss me husband."

And he did. He did so much more too.We spent a very long night filled with pleasure. 

Three days. We could spend only three days away from our duties. Such blissful days. We spent them in our bed. I'm happy that my first time was with someone who truly loves me. I'm just angry that I couldn't share my first kiss with him too. Now that I think about it I hate how I lost it. To think a maiden would steal it from me and I don't even know her name. I feel cheated...

But I'm a little happy to see our little rascals. What I wasn't happy to see was A-Ying in tears when I went to check on him in his room. Whoever is responsible for that is going to pay. 

"A-Ying. What happened?"

I hugged him tight and made sure to keep my voice calm. A-Ying needs reassurance and not my anger.Ruohan was right. My body does change. I could feel my nails getting longer and sharper. How did I not feel that before?

"I...I can't be...with... Lan Zhan."

What the fuck? Who said that? If Wangji made him feel like that...he better pray to all gods in existence for mercy because I will show him none.

"Why do you think so?"

He's just continuing crying. We won't get anywhere with him in this state.

"A-Ying you need to calm down. Take a breath with me. In and out. And repeat."

Slowly he started to calm down a little.

"Now please tell me why you think that you can't be with Wangji? Did he say something to you?"

He shook his head no. So it wasn't him. No one from the minor sects would have the balls to say anything bad in front of him. So that leaves us with the only sect that would . Lan sect. The leaders support their relationship so it wasn't them. Last I heard that mountain goat is bedridden. Xin Yi care must be great then. That only leaves one person...Lan 'I know better than everyone ' Xichen.

"Did Xichen say something to you?"

I felt how his body had tensed. So I was right. That bastard is responsible for his tears. I warned them to keep him on a tight leash but I guess he really wants to be miserable for the rest of his life. I will grant him his wish.

"What did he say?"

"He...he came to me...after the banquet...Lan Zhan went to his rooms...it was his bedtime."

I snorted at that. Even now he still follows this stupid routine.

"What happened next?"

"His brother found me...he...said that I should leave Lan Zhan alone..."

Excuse me?! Calm down Mingyue. You need to be calm. 

"Can you tell me his exact words."

"He said that I will ruin his future and reputation just as I have ruined his and Lan Zhan's relationship."

I want to kill him...I really want to kill him. How fucking dare he!

"Did he say anything else? Did he explained to you how you ruined things?"

"He said that Lan Zhan stopped talking with him and avoids any interaction with him because I filled his head with nonsense...he said that the only reason Lan Zhan wants to be with me is because he is heaving a temper tantrum and he wants to prove a point because he doesn't agree with Lan Xichen. But in the long run our relationship is going to harm his reputation...that I need to stop it before it does..."

Does he not think that Lan Wangji is capable of making his own decisions? He's not a child that needs guidance....and to think he said that to A-Ying now. Such a joyful occasion and he ruined it due to his selfishness. Enough. He will pay. I heard the ghosts screams. They demanded his blood. Ruohan was right. They may not control me but I don't know how to control my power either. I will be overwhelmed by it if I don't stop. I should speak with Xin Yi. As much as I'm angry with her I can see her point too. And she does care in her own way. She could go against me and do something behind my back in order to 'help me' but she chose direct confrontation. I respect that. And she did promise to take care of him. So I will not let anyone ruin this day for me. But for now I need to comfort A-Ying.

"Did Wangji said anything to you that sounded similar to what Xichen implied?"

"No."

Good.

"Did he ever made you feel like you're not important to him?"

"No."

"Did he ever made you doubt him even for a second?"

"Never!"

"Then don't listen to his brother. A-Ying you need to talk with Wangji. Tell him what his brother told you and ask him if that's how he really feels. If you want to be with someone the most important thing is communication. You can spend your whole day here worrying about an assumption or you can ask directly and get an answer."

"What if I'm scared of the answer."

He's worried if Xichen was right. If Wangji really doesn't love him.

"Sometimes life is hard. We may not get the answers that we like...but there are times that we need them. Ask him. And remember that you're not alone. I will always be with you."

"Thank you uncle."

I continued to hug him a while silently planning Xichen funeral. Oh how much I wanted to paint the walls with his blood. But I can't. Not yet. I will speak with Xin Yi and then I will decide what to do. Now A-Ying needs me. And maybe I will allow A-Qing to experiment with her needles on him. That would be nice.

Chapter Text

"What are you planning to do now Xin Yi?"

She doesn't look surprised but sad. She must have known this would happen.

"As I'm sure you already know it was inevitable. I tried for years to help Xichen because to me he was my son too."

I don't like seeing her sad. As much as I'm not agreeing with her on some things I do consider her my friend. One if the only ones that I have. That's one of the reasons I'm going to  let her deal with him instead of doing it personally.

"You can't help someone who doesn't want it."

"I still had to try. What kind of mother would I be if I didn't?"

"He's not yours by blood. No one would care. You would be praised by your generosity just by letting him stay and not revealing the truth behind his birth"

She looked unhappy with that. But sadly that's the reality of the world we're living in.

"That's true. These stupid idiots would treat me as a saint for that. Good thing that I don't care about their opinion."

"Me neither."

We did share a laugh at that.

"What should I do? "

It's the first time I'm seeing her looking so defeated. Even in seclusion she still held her head high.

"Would you like me to take care of that?"

I can't help but be sympathetic towards her.

"No. I have a feeling that whatever you would do will result in him wishing to be dead."

"You don't think I would kill him?"

Now she looks regretful.

"I'm sorry."

I don't think she has anything to be sorry for.

"Why? You didn't do anything?"

"I did. I was a shitty friend to you. I knew why you acted that way yet still lectured you about the outcome. You never hid your intentions from me...this was inevitable too."

"Yes it was but you don't have to beat yourself over the fact that there are things we don't agree with."

"I should have at least read the whole report. You weren't a child and I treated you like one. For that I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry too. I know that you didn't mean anything bad by it...you were worried. Let's just forget about it and move on"

"I agree. In the future we would talk. Without judgement. What do you think?"

"I like that idea."

"Great. I would still like some input from you. Xichen is trying to sabotage A-Zhan in his duties. I overheard his talk with Qiren. I thought that if he's bedridden from poison he would shut up and stop influencing him but I was wrong. I even ordered him not to visit him anymore but he didn't listen. And we can't keep an eye on him every single day."

That sucks. To think that old goat isn't giving up. Honestly I forgot about him. It was so nice and quiet. But I see that was a mistake. But since he wants to die so badly I will grant him his wish.

"You know that Qiren is going to die?"

"Yes. I'm surprised that he's still alive. I thought you would kill him before you deal with the Jiang's."

Yes. There's actually a very valid reason that he's still alive.

"I forgot about him"

"I can't say I blame you. I would like to forget about him too. He's getting on my nerves more and more these days."

I laughed at that. It's good to know someone else shares my enthusiasm.

"I will deal with him tonight."

"May I know what will you do? I need to know if I have to calm down the sect when the alarm flares"

This is something I don't believe.

"Fine! Don't look at me like that! I'm curious...and since I won't be able to see that... I want to be the first to know."

Her pout doesn't work on me but there's no harm in telling her so I did just that. 

"This...is brilliant. But I didn't expect you to do it quietly. That's a surprise."

"I can be subtle when I want to be."

Now she's the one that looks sceptical.

"And I do have a way to deal with Xichen without killing him."

Finally she looked hopeful.

"He didn't cause any injuries towards A-Ying so I'm willing to overlook it. But you need to understand. The moment he endangers my children I will personally kill him. Very slowly and painfully."

"I know. I won't stop you if that happens."

"I will hold you to that. I will destroy his core and you can send him away. He always talks about protecting civilians and helping those in need so let him. Take away his powers and send him to one of the abandoned by sects villages as a healer. He knows the basics and that's what they need. He will have to learn how to survive without any of the privileges that he had and that may teach him something."

And it will destroy him. He always talked about helping everyone and not judging others but he never actually lifted a finger to help. He didn't build any orphanages or even send food to the homeless. All he did was being nice to everyone and smile while not doing anything else. Now he will have to work. And he doesn't know how to do anything. He's not a farmer and his knowledge is useless to the civilians. It would be worse than being imprisoned. He will suffer for years. And he will grow old and weak. 

"That is... actually reasonable coming from you"

Just what did she expect? I'm getting better with my self-control! Hmph!

After explaining my plan to my husband I went to visit my old teacher. I found his cottage easily. He was sitting on his bed and reading. Even now he has his arrogant face on. But not for much longer.

"Hello."

I loved the way he jumped when I emerged from the shadows. It's one of the tricks that I have learned and I love scaring people with it!

"You! What are you doing here? Who let you in? It was probably that damn woman! I should have dealt with her when I had the chance!"

He started coughing blood. The poison is doing wonders to his body. His hands are slightly shaking and his body is really thin. He has big dark circles under his eyes too.Xin Yi is taking good care of him. I should send her a present for that.

"I came to visit my old teacher."

"I never taught you!"

I chuckled at that because it's the truth. He never taught me. Instead of acting like a teacher and debating in the class with me or simply explaining that my ideas are wrong he simply dismissed me.  So no. He wasn't my teacher.

"That's true. You never acted like a teacher to me so you're not one. That means I don't have to show you any courtesy either."

"What are you talking about?!"

That's the thing Qiren. I will not tell you. I didn't tell Jiang's why I killed them because I wanted them to wonder why they died. But with you? I'm going to tell you the truth without actually telling you anything. And not understanding the situation is going to piss you off even more.

"Aren't you smart? Shouldn't you already know?"

"Get out before I call for the guards!"

"That's funny. You really think anyone is going to help you? Go ahead. Shout and see."

He did actually try to do that. Too bad for him this area isn't accessible to anyone right now and no one will know what is happening here.

"What did you do?"

"Wouldn't you like to know?"

"What game are you playing!"

"I thought that after all these years you would change but I guess I'm wrong. You're still the same hypocritical bastard that you were. Some things will never change."

"Don't speak as if you know me."

"But I do know you. You love to study old texts and drink your bitter just like your soul tea in the afternoons. You don't like loud noises which is surprising with how loud you are."

"Enough."

"Don't order me around."

I let some of my ghosts approach him and circle his bed. 

"Get them away from me! You're an abomination! A heretic!"

I let them grab him and pin him to his bed.

"Yes I am. I'm a heretic. I'm a monster. But at least I always stayed true to myself unlike you. And now you're going to die."

"You're going to kill me? You will not get away with it."

I laughed. He's really funny! 

"I'm not going to kill you. You aren't worth it. I'm here to simply enjoy the show."

I saw the exact moment he became scared. It looks like the reality of the situation is starting to catch up with him.

"Show?"

"Yes. You always condemned me. You never tried to understand me."

"I have no idea what you're talking about!"

"Do you know how it feels being thrown into the pits of hell with no golden core to protect you? To feel how your body is being torn apart by vengeful ghosts? To relieve your worst nightmares? How it feels when your whole spirit is being consumed by them? And there's nothing you can do to stop them."

Finally he was silent. Silent and terrified. 

"Don't worry. You will feel it too in just a second."

"No..."

"Yes. My friends here are hungry you know? And you're their meal. They will slowly torture you and then absorb your spirit until you're nothing but an empty shell."

"You can't do that..."

"I can. "

"My broth.."

"Will do nothing. Goodbye Qiren."

And I let the ghosts attack him. I watched as he struggled against them and tried to use his core but nothing worked. Now he will know how much it hurts. The helplessness. The emptiness. He will feel it too. I stayed there till he took his last breath and left. There was nothing else for me to do. He should have stayed in seclusion and live like a rat. If he did, he wouldn't have end up like that. He should have never let me remember him. Now I can go back home. I do have a date with Ruohan and he's probably waiting for me to give him all the details.

The day I feared has finally came. I have to punish my son. It's actually better if it's me and not Mingyue. It doesn't make it hurt any less. He may not be mine by blood but he's mine by choice. I asked A-Chen to let me do it. I told him to take A-Zhan and take a walk while I deal with it. Honestly it's better if A-Zhan doesn't see him. He's still angry that he could lose A-Ying because of his stupidity. And I can't have him finding out what happened last night. That Qiren is dead. He shouldn't see the state of his body.

"Mother why did you want to see me?"

He may call me mother but he doesn't see me as one. He looks at me the same way he looks at everyone. The same calm eyes. The same polite smile. I never stood a chance in getting close to him. 

"We need to talk A-Huan"

"Of course. What would you like to talk about."

"Why did you do it? Why did you try and ruin A-Zhan engagement?"

Just tell me the reason. I know it won't change the outcome but I still hope that he may change. 

"Wangji should find someone more suitable for his new position."

I see. He's still angry that he lost his position. He's too young to hide his emotions completely.

"Why are you so against us all? "

"I don't know what you're talking about mother."

I took a breath to calm myself down before saying anything else.

"Please don't call me mother if you don't see me as one."

Even now his expression didn't change.

"Since we returned from our forced seclusion we tried to include you in ever activity that we had. We knew that the changes you were facing weren't easy. But you need to understand that they were criminals."

"No. They weren't."

He's still denying it?

"The elders were monsters and Qiren helped them"

I'm still trying to not say anything bad about him in front of A-Huan as to not upset him but it's hard that he's still protecting the man that poisoned me... especially since he knows what he did.

"No they weren't. "

"You won't listen no matter what I say?"

He's silent. I see. It's over. He's lost to me...or maybe he wasn't mine in the first place . But there is one thing that I still need to confirm.

"Did you know that Qiren wanted to kill A-Ying?"

I read it in his notes this morning. If his plan on separating them wouldn't work he would try and get rid of him...and he wanted to use A-Huan for it.
Oh...he's not denying it...he knew...

"You would kill someone just because your uncle yells you to?"

"Uncle is right. You should have stayed in the seclusion. Wangji wouldn't have changed. Everything would have been perfect."

I see.

"You know that's probably the only time you truly said what you think?"

Silence again ha?

"We already decided on your punishment"

"I figured it out by now. When do I enter my seclusion?"

Oh? He thinks he's going into seclusion? When did that idea came from? He plotted murder and he thinks a house arrest is going to fix it?

"Seclusion? Xichen. Your core is going to be crushed and you're going to spend the rest of your days in a small village near Gusu borders. You will have to learn how to do housework and farm. You will work as a healer there."

He was cared... terrified. My heart clenched in my chest. It hurts. Punishing him like that. Abandoning him but there's nothing else I can do for him. And doing it is the only way to at least spare his life. Even without a core he can live his life to the fullest. But if he has his core and later decides to cross the line? Mingyue will kill him. This punishment is my one last act at protecting him.

"You can't do that!"

"It's already decided. Later Mingyue is going to crash your core and you will be escorted to the village."

"I refuse! You can't do it to me! You're just taking revenge because I'm not yours by blood! Yes I know that! Before uncle told me about his plans he revealed to me the truth! You're just an imposter who took Mya mother's place and stole my position to solidify your position!"

"Did all the years I spent loving you as my own meant nothing to you?"

"I have never considered you my mother. Not then and not now."

He's showing his true colors. Xichen...is just like his uncle. His perfect copy that knows how to hide behind a smile. He changed for the worse because he couldn't cope with all the changes. He's unstable.

"Guards. Escort my son to his room and don't let him out no matter what. Seal his core too."

And I watched as they took him away. He may be alive tomorrow but to me he is already dead. The sweet child I remember is dead and in his place stays Qiren's nephew. But there is still one thing we need to deal with. Mainly Xichen's unsent letter to Mingjue. We need to prepare for the Nie. 

Chapter Text

What a beautiful day we have. The sun is up, the birds are chirping. It's a really beautiful day! Perfect for crushing cores of hypocrites! I hummed a happy song as I prepared breakfast for Ruohan. Since A-Ying left yesterday for a night hunt with A-Ning and A-Qing is doing her experiments, we will be completely alone.

"I see you're in a good mood."

I smiled when I saw my husband.

"Yes! This is such a wonderful day."

"The day has just started A-Yue. Are you really that excited to crush his core?"

Of course I am!

"Yes!"

"I see. I'm glad you're happy. When are we leaving?"

"Since when are YOU so eager to go visit Xin Yi?"

"The quicker you destroy him the sooner we can return and I can have you all to myself."

"And what if I want to prolong it?"

"Then I guess we won't be able to spend the rest of the day laying in bed doing much better activities than this one but oh well. I guess there's no helping it."

"I guess we can finish it quickly."

Lan Xichen looked pathetic. He was glaring at me the whole time. I never saw him looking this angry before.

"You can't do that!"

Stupid child. He may be older than Wangji but to me he is still a child.

"I can and I will."

Before he could utter another word I swiftly crushed his core. It was satisfying. The most satisfying feeling in the world. To see this hypocrite on the ground looking at me with disbelief while his spiritual power leaves him.

"Now you won't be able to hurt anyone again. I hope for the sake of Xin Yi that you won't waste this opportunity. But if you do? I will personally end you. I will make what I did to Jiang's look like a child's play with what I would do to you."

He's terrified. Good. That should stop him from doing more stupid things. I would really want to kill him but since I care for Xin Yi I will let him walk away without his powers or status to protect him. I walked out to see Xin Yi standing there.

"Thank you. "

She must have understand my message to him.

"You're welcome."

I made my way back to my room here. What I didn't expect to find was Lan Wangji sitting on my front steps. What does little Lan want from me?

"What brings you here little Lan?"

"Wen-furen"

I will kill Ruohan for telling everyone to address me like that. I'm a man!

"Let's get inside. I have a feeling it's going to be a tiring conversation."

I led him inside and waited for what he has to say. Suddenly he kneeled in front of me and bowed his head. Just what is he doing now?

"What are you doing right now? Get up."

"No. I need to do this. I'm aware that you weren't happy with my and Wei Ying's engagement."

So he knows?

"What does this have to do with everything?"

"I want to ask for your blessing."

What?

"I want to marry Wei Ying. And I want to do it with your blessing. I love him and I want to spent the rest of my days with him. Would you allow me that honor?"

I don't know what to say. I always thought I hid my dislike to this engagement well but it looks like I wasn't as subtle as I thought.

"Get up. Now. Don't make me repeat myself."

I can't talk to him when he's like that. Thankfully he did get up but still he didn't sat down. Fine. Have it your way.

"I don't know why you're here. You two are going to marry even without my blessing. What's the point?"

"Your acceptance. I don't know what I did for you to dislike me."

"I don't dislike you."

"You don't accept me as your nephew's spouse either."

I forgot how smart he can be when he wants.

"No I don't."

"May I know why?"

Should I tell him? It's not like it will bring any harm to me.

"Because you remind me of someone who hurt me... betrayed me.And I don't want A-Ying to go through it."

"But I'm not that person."

You have no idea. You're wrong...but you're right too. You will never again be that Lan Wangji.

"You're right...still I can't stop myself."

"I promise to always be by Wei Ying's side. To always love him and only him. I will never betray him."

The sincerity in his eyes is real. He really believes that. 

"Fine. You have my blessing. I hope it won't be a mistake on my part."

"It won't. I will prove it to you."

We will see what future will bring. For now I will trust his words . I dismissed him and waited for Ruohan's return. He was supposed to talk with Lan-Zhongzu about the situation with Nie. That's the only reason he didn't stay to watch. I didn't have to wait long for him to come. It was obvious that he was irritated. I helped him get some of his robes off.

"That idiot was exchanging correspondence with the Nie bastard all this time."

I didn't have to think about who exactly was the idiot in question. I wonder what did he do this time.

"And what about it?"

"He was complaining about his treatment here...about Wangji...and about you. "

So nothing new.

"And ? It doesn't matter."

"Not exactly."

His mood is getting worse.

"What did he do Ruohan?"

"He wanted the Nie to help him get the position of the sect heir back...they were aware of his and Qiren's plans...they planned on helping them. The last letter that he didn't manage to send was actually a call for help."

I see. So they planned to help him murder A-Ying...it looks like they didn't learn their lesson yet. Even when I'm not doing anything to them they're still not leaving me and my family alone. Fine. I'll give them what they want.

"It looks like we were too nice to the sects lately."

"And what do you want to do A-Yue?"

"Exactly as we have planned from the beginning. Expose their cultivation method to the world. They're using resentful energy that is the cause of so many deaths in their sect. I don't think their disciples are going to be happy knowing that. Especially the outer ones."

His mood improved. Good. He shouldn't be annoyed by these flies.

"Just like the Jin's we will watch them destroy themselves."

"Exactly. Why should we do anything when they can do all the work for us?"

I kissed him lightly on the lips.

"That's true. Now I think we should do something much more enjoyable than talking about them."

I totally agree. We spent a lovely day together in bed. 

The next day I spoke with Xin Yi and informed her of what will happen. She didn't look surprised. She even said to tell her if we need any help with spreading the information around. She must be really angry. From what she told me Xichen was escorted to the village in the morning. They gave him enough to survive the first two months. Then he will need to earn money by himself. For the first three years he's going to be monitored by the Lans which is good. He won't be able to do anything against us.

I said my goodbye to the leaders and little Lan. I do plan to keep my promise and include him in my life. Now that we're back we decided what's the best way to spread the news. Should we directly do it at one of the conferences or should we use commoners to do it for us? I think the second option is the best one. They won't be able to tie it to us since no one will know who started the rumors and by the time they will know their situation won't allow them to do anything about it.

Spreading the rumors was easy. Very easy. Our people still showed some evidence to support that . We needed the disciples of the Nie sect to believe that. Everything depended on it. Both of us were too lazy to deal with them personally so it had to work. Thankfully it did. In the beginning there wasn't any visible change. But after few weeks of observation we saw how the disciples started dividing themselves. Then we got our spies to hide more of the evidence where they found it. As anyone would have expect they weren't happy knowing that their cultivation method was killing them and the main family has known about it and still encouraged them to learn more without informing them about the full picture. So when Nie Mingjue learned about Xichen's exile it was already too late. He couldn't help him at all. He had his hands full with the starting riot in his home. Their citizens  turned on them too. Now they will know how it feels when you spend your life protecting someone and be repaid in betrayal. Day by the the situation was becoming more and more tense. And I loved every second of it. A-Ying was the only one who was worried about them. He is really too nice. Thankfully little Lan distracted him with dates and night hunts. I may start to really like him if he keeps behaving like that. Honestly everything is perfect right now. The minor sects are terrified to step out of line and they are constantly monitored by our spies. Jiang's don't exist and Lan's aren't a problem for me. Jin's are too busy fighting among themselves and the Nie have the same problem. My children are safe and happy. 

"I see you're in a good mood A-Yue."

"Of course I am Ruohan! "

Finally I don't have to worry about the bugs.

"I'm bringing you good news."

More good news?

"What are they?"

"Nie-Zhongzu had a very serious Qi divation. Poor guy is hospitalized."

I laughed at that. Poor guy indeed.

"What a shame."

"Of course I send him a get well soon gift from our Sect."

I have a feeling Nie-Zhongzu wasn't very happy with what he received.

"And what was that?"

"All the evidence we had left since we don't need it anymore and a card that read

 ' I hope you have enjoyed my gift for the past few weeks. We from the Wen Sect take withholding important information that impacts the health and lives of disciples very seriously. Here we send you a fruit basket and wish you sound recovery.

I hope you don't stress yourself with unnecessary mending and focus on your own sect. It would be a shame if I paid back what you planned to do to A-Ying on Huaisang, right?'

This should keep them quiet. I give them two years before the sect disappears."

"True. Right now even the Jin's are in better position than them."

"That means it's over. No one will oppose us anymore. Everything is perfectly under our control."

That's true too. I did it...I finally finished everything. 

"That means we can focus on us and not some idiots."

I already know where the conversation is going.

"It's the middle of the day."

"Since when did that stop us?"

"You win."

It's already five years. Just as predicted the Nie sect lost its influence and is barely holding on. People don't trust 'demonic cultivation '. Idiots. The only reason they didn't disband yet is Nie Mingjue's stubbornness. Sadly his situation didn't stop him from practicing the Nie style. He's going to die in a year if my calculations are correct. The Jin's are a little better but only because they don't want to lose more wealth than they already did. They have literal fights for control inside the sects but they better at hiding it. A-Ying got married a year ago. I hated giving him away like that and for a moment I considered getting Lan Wangji to marry in but he is a sect leader...I still hate it. And there are already some disciples trying to get A-Qing's attention! Like hell I will allow that! I already lost one child! I'm not giving away another! I'm not ready for that. Nope. At least A-Ning doesn't have any suitors yet. But I already dread the day he will have them. Ruohan of course finds this whole situation hilarious. He stopped rubbing it in my face at least. Who would thought that all it took was a week in the separate bedrooms for him to stop. But I'm happy. Finally I'm at peace. I have a loving husband and my children are going to live their lives to the fullest. I wouldn't wish for anything more.