Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“Orderrrr up!” Spongebob yelled as his voice rang throughout the Krusty Krab.

“You don’t need to yell when the customer is still in line!” Squidward fussed back at Spongebob.

“But Squidward, the customer should always feel valued!” He shoved the tray holding the customers' food over Squidwards head.

“Watch it! You almost knocked me out! You’re lucky Mr. Krabs likes that you don't care about getting paid because you’d be gone by now.” Squidward complained. He turned to the customer, “Here’s your slop, don’t choke on it. Heh.. choke on it.” He said to the customer in between chuckles at his own joke.

A beep went off on Squidward’s watch, it was time for his break. “I’m going on my break now Mr. Krabs. Mark my words, one of these days I’ll leave for my break and never come back!” He yelled as went to the break room.

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Squidward had been working at the Krusty Krab for the past 20 years. When he first got the job he was freshly out of college and recovering from a break up from his 6 year relationship with his now arch nemesis Squilliam Fancyson. He had been hoping to get his mind off of things in a productive way since he also had college debts to pay off. But he soon found himself working everyday at a dead end job hoping his art or music career would take off so he could quit this job, but it never happened so instead he’d spend his days imagining a life where the Krusty Krab had never existed.

When he first got the job, Spongebob was still a kid so instead a fry cook named Jim worked there. And no matter how much Squidward hated to admit it, he was head over heels for the man. Jim was a down to Earth guy, completely different from Squidward’s ex boyfriend. He adored his ginger curls and perfect blue skin. One day Squidward had heard Jim describe his current girlfriend and talk about her long blonde hair. Squidward had made it his goal to make himself appealing to Jim even though he was straight and taken. He grew his hair over the next year to make it long and blonde, just the way Jim liked it. But no matter what Squidward did, Jim would never notice him.
Squidward had planned to tell his coworker about his feelings on Jim’s birthday. It had been almost 12 long years of his feelings not being reciprocated or even known and he couldn’t take it anymore. He had written a love letter and planned to give it to Jim during closing at 8. After a long day of anxious waiting, it was time. Squidward walked over to Jim to give him his letter and gift, a brand new spatula.

“H-hey Jim, happy birthday again... I got you a gift.” Squidward said anxiously.

“Thanks Squid,‘preciate it a lot!” Jim said as he reached his fin out, but then he hesitated and dropped it. “It feels wrong taking yer gift before I say sumtin I’ve needed to say fer a while…”

“Whatever it is, you can tell me I-I don't mind.” Squidward said, trying to hide his rapidly growing anxiety.

“... I’m gettin married ‘nd she wants to move to Shell City.” Jim said, averting Squidward’s gaze.

“Oh. I didn’t know you were serious about your relationship.” Squidward said while looking at the ground.

How dumb could he be, of course Jim would take his relationships seriously, he's a good guy! Squidward thought.

“Also uh… I know you like me, Squid. It’s pretty obvious. I’m not like that ya know?” Jim said.

“W-what do you mean? GAY?? I-I’m not gay who said I was GAY?!” Squidward said in a panic.

He couldn’t know. After everything Squidward had done to keep people from knowing, Jim still found out. Of course Jim wouldn’t like him, he was normal and amazing unlike Squidward. He knew there was nothing wrong with being gay, but he didn’t want it to be obvious. He had planned on telling Jim about his dumb unrequited love, but now he could never. He had missed his chance. He would never see Jim again. He was the only thing that made his job worthwhile. Tears started to fill his eyes.

Jim probably noticed the tears so he put his arm on Squidward's shoulder and said, “Hey it's okay ya know? I don't mind.. I err never have. I want you to be my best man.” He said to Squidward.

“I’d love that. Your girl must be really lucky to have you as a fiancee, whoever she is. Sorry for overreacting, I thought you’d think I was gross or something.” Squidward said dejectedly.

“Never! Yer a great bud, Squid. Can I have my gift now?” He asked.

“Yep here you go.” Squidward put the wrapped gift into Jims hands.

“Uh.. what ‘bout the letter?” Jim asked.

“Oh uh this? It was s-something I wrote about me being.. gay… I wanted to tell you by letter, b-but since you already know you don’t need this…” He replied while shoving the letter into his shirt pocket.

“Okay then, thanks fer the gift Squid. Yer a great bud!” Jim pulled Squidward into a hug and clocked out for the night. “I’ll see ya tomorrow?”

“Yeah. Goodnight Jim. Happy birthday!” Squidward said while trying to hide the sorrow in his voice as he watched Jim walk out of the restaurant.

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You’re seriously thinking about him again? Squidward thought to himself. Before he knew it, he had spent his break thinking about that awful night. He took a deep breath and pushed the bad memories further back into his mind so he wouldn’t be able to remember what happened.

He didn’t realize how long he sat there trying to forget until an obnoxious sponge opened the door to the break room.

“Squidward, you’re 10 minutes over your allowed break time! It’s time to get back to work!” He said while pointing to his watch.

“For Neptune's sake! Can’t a squid get any peace here?! I’ll come out when I want to!” He yelled at the sponge.

“S-sorry Squidward I was just so excited to work with you again…” Spongebob said as he walked out of the room with tears in his eyes.

Neptune, how can that sponge be so sensitive all the damn time? Squidward thought. He came to the decision that it's in his best interests that he ought to return to work before he’d actually get his pay docked.

He sighed as he began to take orders again, stuck again in a cycle until he eventually clocked out for the night and went home to an empty bed.

Chapter Text

Spongebob woke up to the sound of his fog horn alarm blaring.

“Good morning world!” He cheered, “Good morning Gary!”

“Mreoww” Gary grumbled as he was waking up.

Spongebob always found it important to wish a good morning to things that make him happy or else his day would go bad. Once he was done with that headed over to his bathroom to get ready for the day.

“Gary breakfast is ready! It's the most important meal of the day, serving it up Gary’s way!” Spongebob sang.

He got up to pour himself a cup of coffee when he heard his neighbor and coworker Squidward playing the clarinet. He sat down and happily listened to the notes coming from the instrument while flipping through a cookbook from the world famous cook, Jim. Spongebob knew Squidward wasn’t the best at playing the clarinet, but seeing one of his best friends enjoying something makes him very pleased.

For as long as Spongebob could remember, he loved to make other people happy, but to everyone else all of his efforts came off as annoying. His Dad would constantly instill the idea that a man’s job is to work hard and provide for his family, so Spongebob would instead put all of his effort into cooking delicious meals for his family. He soon learned that he could make people happy through his food instead of his annoying actions. He never tried to be annoying, but he would always come off as that. Whether it would be him talking too loud and fast or him not understanding people don’t want his help to make them happy.

As he started to enter his teenage years it became more apparent to everyone around him that there was a deeper problem than just his lack of proper communication skills. By the time he was in high school bullying became his norm. His classmates treated him like dirt, but no matter how much he’d cry he still wanted to make them happy. So he put even more effort into his cooking. On his 16th birthday his dad took him to eat food from the world renowned cook named Jim. Spongebob had never tasted something so pleasant in his life and wanted to be just like Jim in his future. Whenever the bullying would get to him, he would watch interviews of Jim or remember his experience eating Jim’s food.

“One day my food will bring smiles to everyone just like Jim’s does! Then everyone will be happy and like me!” Spongebob would often find himself thinking whenever he’d cook.

Then one day, shortly after graduation, Spongebob walked into The Krusty Krab and applied to work as a fry cook. Jim used to be a humble fry cook at one of the two only fast food joints, that being Krusty Krab. Spongebob wanted to be just like him so he decided it was smartest to start off the way Jim did.

Suddenly the unsteady notes stopped being played which pulled Spongebob out of his immersion in the cookbook. He looked out his window to see Squidward’s eyes glaring back at him.

“Why are you staring at me this early in the morning?! I can’t even play the clarinet in my own HOUSE!” Squidward yelled while waving his clarinet around.

“Sorry Squidward it's just that your playing is so beauuutiiifulllll.” Spongebob sang. “I was just relaxing to the sound of your jazz.”

“Well don’t do that.” Squidward said in a haste as he closed his window and walked away.

Spongebob wishes his neighbor would at least once let him bond with him. Even though Squidward has a prickly exterior, Spongebob still considers him to be one of his closest friends. He turned to the clock and noticed the time was 6:30. The Krusty Krab opens at 7 so he hurriedly cleaned up his coffee and rushed out of his house.

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“I'm ready! I’m ready! I’m ready! I’m ready!” Squidward heard Spongebob’s annoying voice call out. Welp, there goes his annoying neighbor meaning he’ll soon have to follow suit and go to work as well.

For the first time in a while, Squidward had actually been enjoying playing his clarinet. Well until he noticed a certain Sponge stalking him. All he wanted was a moment's peace, but like always that sponge interfered with his moment. The thought that he could just move somewhere sponge-free briefly crossed his mind, but he ignored it. He may dislike the sponge, but not enough to move. He had even cracked a smile when Spongebob had earlier complimented his playing skills.

Squidward soon arrived at the Krusty Krab, the place he’d have to waste the next 13 hours of his life at for a mere 4 clams an hour. But compared to what Spongebob was making, 4 clams was something to brag about. He was stuck in self loathing too much to notice that his boss, Eugene Krabs, had walked over to where he was and had been watching him for some time.

“Aye Squidward, I just got off the phone with corporate. They said yer better start werking harder or I’ll have to fire yee.” His boss said as he walked over to him. “And yee know I don’t want to fire yee, so get to work fer real this time Squidward!” He turned and walked back into his office.

He knew that his boss liked him, but would have no problem getting rid of him to save his own butt. Unlike Spongbpb, who always worked hard, Squidward had been putting the least amount of effort into everything since Jim’s departure. In fact, he’d been putting less effort in everyday and at the rate he was at, Mr. Krabs would end up firing him unless some changes were made to Squidwards work ethic.

“Shit I need this job” Swuidward muttered under his breath.

After that brief conversation with Mr. Krabs, he had decided to work a little bit harder temporarily and slowly return to his current work ethic. After an hour of his “improvement” Mr. Krabs returned to Squidwards post.

“When aye said yee gotta werk harder, I meant werking like Spongebob.” Mr. Krabs said as he pointed a claw at the sponge frycook that was currently cleaning a table.

“But Mr. Krabs you can’t expect me to be like HIM. I mean, he’s Spongebob. I could never be like that and to be frank I would never want to be that.” Squidward protested.

“Well I’m afraid I’m not askin yee, I’m tellin yee as yer boss. Yer going to mentor under Spongebob. Yee know until yee learn to werk harder.” Mr. Krabs said as he walked over to the sponge.

“Wait Mr. Krabs you can’t be serious-“ Squidward began, but was then cut off by the crab.

“Spongeboy me bob, how would yee like to be Squidwards mentor for today?” Mr. Krabs excitedly asked Spongebob.

“M-ME-MENTOR? FOR SQUIDWARD? I MUST BE DREAMING SOMEBODY PINCH ME!” Spongebob yelled.

“Calm down boy! Snap out of it!” Mr. Krabs shouted at the overzealous sponge. “Yer only gonna be it for the day. This ain’t a promotion though, I’m not paying for this.” Mr. Krabs stated. “Yee should start now, good luck boys!” He announced as he walked back to his office.

“I cannot believe this Squidward! Me and you are going to work even closer together now! Isn’t this amazing?!” Spongebob said, shaking from excitement.

“No. Considering I’ll lose my job if I say no I’ll work with you for JUST today. And we’re not “buddies”” Squidward said while rolling his eyes.

Squidward had a feeling this day would come to haunt him in the near future.

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

Spongebob could not believe he’d be able to spend a whole day teaching his friend Squidward! This would finally be the chance for them to grow their relationship and fix their problems. Over the next long hours, Spongebob showed Squidward his routine and explained in detail how to stay focused on his task.

“So whenever I feel tired I just think of the customers' smiles!” Spongebob said happily to his coworker.

“I could care less about the customer. All I ask for is my meager salary and peace and quiet.” Squidward complained.

“It wouldn’t hurt you to be optimistic at times Squidward. I know you’re capable of smiling, I see you smile at your clarinet and art all the time.” Spongebob teased.

“Stop stalking me!” Squidward shouted.

Spongebob knew if he kept pressing the topic Squidward would go off on him, so instead he switched the topic back to his routine.

Hours had gone by and it was time for closing. Spongebob had plans to go to Weenie Hut Jrs with his best friend Patrick after work. It was a Wednesday so they had plans to get the Double Weenie Wednesday deal. Since he didn’t have his license he had to walk a few nautical miles to the diner, but once he got there he was excited to see his best friend.

“Hey Patrick!” Spongebob called out as he walked over to his friend.

Patrick has been SpongeBobs best friend since they were in diapers. Everything in life they experienced together whether it be their first day of school or first weenie at Weenie Hut Jrs. Patrick was his rock to lean on, whenever things got hard he knew he had a friend there for him.

“Hi Spongebob!” He said while waving a weenie around to mimic his hand waving. “You’ve got to try their Doubke Deluxe Weenie Supreme, it’s amazing!” Patrick said as he chowed down.

“Im planning on getting the Double Weenie since it is a Wednesday.” Spongebob said. “I had the best day at work today Pat! Mr. Krabs had me mentor Squidward all day!” He said while happily thinking of his day. He proceeded to recount the events of his day to Patrick over the next hour.

After that hour passed Spongebob said,“I think it’s about time to go home now, we should walk together!”

“Okay! Let’s go Spongebob.” Patrick said signaling Spongebob to leave the diner.

The two friends walked home and split once they got to their houses. Spongebob always loved being able to spend time with Patrick like this. As he waved Patrick goodbye, he felt a cold chill rush over him as he had realized he would be alone again. But at least he had his pet snail Gary waiting for him at home, the thought of his snail made the cold feeling only temporary.

“Goodnight world, see you tomorrow!” Spongebob announced then he walked into his house for the night.