Chapter 1: King of fools
Chapter Text
If there is anything Aventurine detests about being a man in a high social position it is the occasional requirement to take part in official ‘parties’. The need to wear his stuffy, formal IPC attire, the forced friendly small talk with incredibly dull but important people - it is nothing but boring to him. However, there are different sub-categories of those events, and the one he finds himself a part of right now must be the worst of them all. He does not mind the speeches about topics he has no idea about and no interest in - after all, it is easy to just not listen and take a discreet close look at the people around instead. He does not mind the unfriendly gazes on him - he is used to them. No, what really rubs him the wrong way is the “plus-one” character of the event. It is for those with friends and family and not for those who get avoided by the people around them like they carried some sort of infectious disease. Tonight, it feels like a place for everyone but him.
When checking the guest list before his arrival, Aventurine had placed most of his hopes in one of the names on there. ‘Dr. Veritas Ratio, scientist’ it had read, and seeing that name had made him quite happy. He liked Ratio. He was one of the very few people that did not make him feel like he was not welcome to even talk to them, and he had a refreshingly sharp tongue and never minced his words. It made it interesting to talk to him. Plus, he was handsome. Very much so, even. And since he was a pretty solitary man, he was one of the very few people which usually showed up alone during occasions like this.
Unfortunately, tonight turns out to be an exception from this rule. Ratio is in fact not alone. He is with a woman Aventurine does not know. This leaves him alone with his ennui and a glass of champagne which constantly gets refilled by observant employees as soon as it is threatening to go empty. It is not the healthiest of combinations, and probably the main reason for the fateful decision he is about to take right now.
Aventurine takes a look around. Ratio and the woman are standing a little bit away from him. From his angle, he can almost only see Ratio’s broad back. He looks good in his formal suit, even from behind. Firm and determined. Unfortunately, his frame covers the woman almost completely. The only thing Aventurine can see is that she is wearing a very classic, but high quality dress, and that she has long and dark hair which she wears open. He is also too far away to hear them speak, so he decides that it is time for a little change in perspective.
There is a buffet table close to them, and although Aventurine is not hungry, he takes the excuse to get a better look and heads over. At the table, he unwillingly picks out the smallest bit of food he can find there and slowly starts nibbling on it. At the same time, he discreetly turns around again.
Much better, he thinks. He is still a little too far away to hear them, but at least he can now get a proper look. The first thing he notices is that the woman is significantly older than Ratio. She looks well-maintained and confident about herself. Aventurine does not have an eye for women, but he assumes she could be considered beautiful.
He lets his gaze wander to Ratio, and interesting enough, the doctor looks pretty annoyed. It might make him a bad person, but Aventurine feels a little relieved, although he is not even really sure as to why this is the case.
As usual, Ratio’s voice is loud and his intonation is very pronounced, so Aventurine is lucky enough to catch a tiny part of what he is saying:
“How many more times do I have to tell you that I am not interested in consulting a dating agency?”
Now, that is intriguing , Aventurine thinks. So the woman is not his date? He takes another close look. There is something familiar about her looks. Is it the way her dark hair curls? Is it the look of steadfast determination in her intelligent eyes? Could it be?
Almost unintentionally, he steps even closer to be able to hear the woman's reply:
“Your father and I are just worried about you, Veritas! You cannot just live for your career. You need a partner. You're not getting younger, and with that stubborn personality of yours… well. So if you cannot give me any valuable arguments against it, I expect to see you at that dating party next week, and I expect you to treat the young ladies you meet there with the utmost courtesy and respect!”
“I…” Aventurine has never seen the honourable Doctor Veritas Ratio at a loss for words before, and the sight is priceless. He can almost hear his thoughts, the way he desperately looks for something the woman - his mother , quite obviously - might accept as a ‘valuable argument’, but the look in his eyes tells him that he fails. Turns out even eight doctoral degrees are not enough against the power of a worried mother.
It is quite fascinating. Intriguing, even. Like one of those TV dramas which you initially think would be completely irrelevant to you, only for them to turn out to be too good to want to miss the continuation. Aventurine wants to be a part of this, and his mind, which is by now undoubtedly more than just a little clouded by the alcohol he has had, throws caution to the wind and just lets him get into action.
He steps right in front of the two of them, wearing his widest smile, but his eyes are only focused on Ratio as he begins to speak:
“Hey, doc! How mean of you to ignore me like this. Do you want me to spend the whole night alone?”
He makes his voice sound a little pouty at the end, and he deliberately talks about the night instead of the evening. This is supposed to sound suggestive, after all. He offers a chance to Ratio, and he is surprised how nervous the few seconds the doctor needs to understand and make his decision do make him feel.
They look at each other, but Aventurine finds the expression on Ratio’s face hard to read, so he just stands there, the smile on his face unfaltering. He's a gambler, after all. If there is one thing he knows, it is how to hold his poker face.
In the end, Ratio makes his decision.
“Aventurine.” he says, very uncharacteristically not just referring to him as ‘gambler’ for once. “Sorry for keeping you waiting.”
He takes a step towards him and does something that catches Aventurine completely off-guard.
He hugs him. Aventurine’s eyes go wide. When their faces are close to each other, he whispers into his ear:
“I take it that you have no idea what you have just gotten yourself into, gambler.”
He is probably right, but Aventurine does not feel any regret, at least not right here and now. Reassured by Ratio's decision to join the game, he just enjoys the moment and whispers back:
“You know I'm always lucky, so how bad could it possibly be?”
Turns out he really has no idea.
It does not even start in a bad way. The woman - Madame Ratio or whatever he is supposed to call her - looks at the two of them, and there can be no doubt that she is a little perplexed at first. However, when she finally understands - or, well, thinks she understands, her face brightens.
“Veritas, my dear son! Why didn't you tell me? And here I thought your disinterest in dating was because of your anti-social attitude!”
Ratio does not flinch when he answers her:
“Let's say it came as a surprise for me, too. A fairly fresh surprise, even.”
Aventurine has to suppress his amusement. Dryly coming up with such a perfect response in no time without even having to tell a lie is such a Ratio-thing to do. That man is considered a genius for a reason.
“Oh dear, I wasn't aware that you hadn't told your family yet!” Aventurine acts, trying to sound awkward. “I am truly sorry!”
For a brief second he thinks about adding a pet name, but in the end, he does not dare to do it. The doctor is a feisty man, and he doesn't want to ruin their little game early by making him upset.
Unexpectedly, Ratio surprises him with his reply:
“It's fine, darling . About time I introduce you two anyway. Aventurine, this is my mother, Callista Ratio. Mother, this is my partner, Aventurine.”
Aventurine clearly blames the heat in the room and the alcohol in his body for the way his cheeks warm upon hearing those words. He once again puts on his prettiest smile when he introduces himself to the clearly delighted Madame Callista Ratio who immediately starts to pull him into a conversation to get to know him better while Ratio excuses himself to get them something to drink. And while Aventurine thinks he should refuse another glass, a part of him feels that he is definitely going to need it.
Callista Ratio turns out to be just as headstrong as her son. Aventurine likes her immediately. He can see a lot of the doctor’s peculiarities in her. She is spirited and curious to a fault, and she really listens to what Aventurine has to say. The only thing she lacks in comparison to her son is brusqueness, probably making her easier to get along with for many people. Since Aventurine has never disliked Ratio's ways, he only finds himself wondering whether the doctor has inherited this part of his personality from his father.
With company as interesting as this, time flies without a single moment of boredom. It is only when Callista suddenly squeezes his shoulders and calls out that Aventurine notices that the party is about to end:
“Oh dear, now I have occupied you the whole evening!” she exclaims, sounding truly troubled, just to turn to her son the next moment:
“Veritas, forgive me for my carelessness! It was such a pleasure to chat with this young gentleman, it really made me forget the time! Hurry up, so you can at least still have the last dance of the evening!”
Her suggestion comes unexpected for Aventurine, but not half as unexpected as Ratio's reaction. Without a second thought, he reaches out for Aventurine’s hand:
“May I ask you for this dance?”
He looks like the perfect man. He probably is the perfect man. However, Aventurine is not. He takes the hand which is offered to him, but panics inwardly. While he follows the doctor into the middle of the room which has been turned into a dancefloor, he meekly whispers:
“Doc?”
“What is it, gambler?” Ratio acknowledges his call, and Aventurine suddenly feels very small and… cheap.
“I am so sorry, but I have never learned how to dance…”
There has never been a need for something like this in his life, after all.
In return, Ratio gives him a look. To Aventurine's relief, he does not look annoyed. He is completely calm when he answers him:
“Don't worry. Just follow my lead.”
Relying on others is not exactly Aventurine's strongest trait, but since this is the doctor he is willing to at least give it a try. In the past, he has trusted him with more than just how to move his feet to the music.
Still, he cannot help but stiffen a little when Ratio now places his right hand on his shoulder and gently takes his hand with the other one, pulling him closer in the process. His tall and firm hands feel nice on Aventurine's body, but it is an unexpected feeling to suddenly be this close. It also accentuates their difference in height, and in their whole build. It makes him feel very small.
However, he does not have much time to think about it, because he quickly notices that he has no idea what he is supposed to do now. Where is he even supposed to put his left hand, just to begin with?
Luckily, even in a situation like this, Ratio turns out to be a full-time teacher:
“Place your hand on my shoulder.” he says, and Aventurine hurries to do as he is told. Still, this is only the first challenge. The music starts, and the couples around them prepare to move. Aventurine is pretty sure that he is the only one who has no clue what to do next. He tries hard to gather his knowledge, but the only thing that comes to mind are old movies he has watched when he was bored. Now that he thinks about it, they never focus on the moves. It's always the two dancers, looking at each other, deeply in love. And hasn't there been this one movie where the girl just stands on her guy's feet and lets him do the dancing? Maybe he should settle for something like this.
“Hey, gambler.” Ratio’s voice forces Aventurine's mind back to reality.
“Look at me, not at my feet.” he demands, and Aventurine tries to follow the order, but - cursed be the aeons - it is hard . Every second, Aventurine expects to see glee in those handsome eyes, and he thinks that he deserves it for his audacity to fake being a match for this genius of a man.
However, there are no ill intentions to be found. Instead, Ratio just looks at him with uncommon patience while calmly telling him what to do - it is just too bad that Aventurine is momentarily too stupid to understand him.
“The final dance is usually a waltz.” Ratio explains to him. “It is played in three-four time, and the basic step is a box step. You start with a backward half box with your right foot, then do a forward half box next.”
Panic starts to form in Aventurine's chest. He has no idea what Ratio is even talking about, and it probably shows on his face.
The doctor sighs, and Aventurine thinks he finally understands what his students must feel like. However, he does not get scolded. Instead, Ratio re-formulates his words.
“Just constantly count to three in your head, and let your feet mirror what my feet do. If you relax and let me lead you, it will be easy. Do you think you can do this?”
Actually, Aventurine is not so sure about this, but he is willing to at least try, so he nods.
And somehow, it works. Ratio leads him with firm and steady movements, and that makes it almost impossible to misstep. It only takes a few rounds of counting to three until Aventurine notices that he is actually enjoying this. He likes moving to the music, and he likes moving in sync with Ratio. It makes him feel a little bold, so he smiles at the doctor and tells him what is on his mind:
“This is fun, doctor!”
In return, Ratio also offers him one of his rare smiles:
“I'm glad you think so. You got a talent for this.” he praises him, and just for a brief moment it feels as if they have both forgotten that they are just faking something right now.
However, no dance lasts forever, and the same goes for this waltz. When the music stops, the people around start to cheer and applaud, and Aventurine is pulled back into reality. It's an unpleasant feeling, and he does not even understand why, but he is not given the time to reflect on it because Callista once again approaches them.
“What a lovely couple you are! It was a pleasure to watch you dance!” she says happily before adding a lot of other thoughts Aventurine barely hears because he feels too detached from everything right now.
When his brain starts to work again, he has long since lost the red threat of this discussion, but he seems to be fine since Ratio has done the small talk. He only listens because he hears his name being mentioned by the doctor.
“Of course mother, I will accompany Aventurine home. You will be fine, won't you?”
Lady Callista gives her son a bright smile and gently pets her son's arm: “Naturally, Veritas! I've already messaged your father in the hotel, he will be here to pick me up soon. You two just enjoy the rest of the evening, alright?”
Then she turns around to Aventurine: “My dear, it was such a pleasure to meet you! Will you allow this humble mother to hug you?”
Although he feels a little sheepish, he does not have it in him to refuse her, and just a second later he finds himself in the warm embrace of doctor Veritas Ratio’s mother.
It is such a strange feeling. First of all, he feels guilty. The woman is lovely, kind and hearty, without the slightest idea what kind of person Aventurine is - namely the kind of person to have given her an evening-long act about being her son's boyfriend just now. But aside from the guilt, there is another emotion in Aventurine, one he finds hard to pinpoint. He does not remember his own mother's embrace, but he catches himself wondering if it might have felt like this. Cozy and gentle. He likes it, but it also makes him feel like an imposter, undeserving of such tenderness.
When he is out on the street with Ratio a few minutes later, he feels unsettled deep within. The doctor even helped him into his coat, still acting like the perfect gentleman although his mother is long since out of sight. Aventurine gets the feeling that he is actually thinking about staying true to his word to walk him home. It confuses him.
But still, aside from all his insecurity, Aventurine also feels happy, and he thinks that he owes it to Ratio to at least tell him so:
“Thanks for tonight, doctor.” he says. “And also sorry, I guess…” he soon adds a little awkwardly.
Ratio next to him raises an eyebrow, looking at him critically, and Aventurine automatically starts to explain himself under this stern gaze:
“I mean… thanks for entertaining me tonight. I know you think of me as a nuisance, and it was rude of me to just barge in when you were talking to your mother, but I really enjoyed all of this.”
When Ratio still does not say anything himself, Aventurine just continues: “You really are lucky, you know. Your mother is lovely.”
At that, Ratio sighs: “I should not wonder that you think this way.” he says dryly. “Birds of a feather, as they say, You both seem to find it impossible to keep to yourself and mind your own businesses.”
Aventurine feels a little guilty about that.
“Anyway.” Ratio takes the floor again. “I have to thank you, too. You saved me from agreeing to another one of those annoying blind date parties my mother loves to pick out for me.”
So Ratio has actually attended such events? Aventurine feels intrigued by the thought. It surely must have been hell for someone like him.
“Those events are the worst.” Ratio confirms Aventurine's thoughts. “They are full of brainless people looking for a ‘good match’. I could never agree to dating any of those individuals.”
The idea alone makes Aventurine giggle. He imagines Ratio in the company of a young woman whose thoughts only circle around pretty dresses and her future children she and her seemingly perfect husband are going to raise in their perfect little home, and he can just tell how out of place Ratio is in this vision.
However, Ratio's reply also triggers an uncomfortable follow-up question in him: while he says that he could never date someone like this, hasn’t he at the same time agreed to date someone like Aventurine, even if it was just for show? He quickly puts this thought aside before it can get too deep.
“Well, in that case I feel honored that you allowed me to fake-date you for tonight, doctor!” he says, trying to sound carefree.
To that, Ratio does not grace him with an answer, but the long look he gives him feels a little unsettling.
Luckily, Aventurine has no chance to make things more awkward for them because much to his surprise, he notices that they have actually arrived in front of his home.
It makes him worry a little about his own carelessness. Aventurine never brings anybody home. For some reason, he does not even want people to know where he lives, although there is not much to hide. He lives in a small apartment inside of a huge and modern IPC building. It is nothing special, but nothing to be ashamed of either. He could afford something much taller, but he sees no need for it. It is just him and his three cat cakes after all. No friends and family to visit, and most of his time is spent at work anyway.
“Gosh, now I actually let you walk me home…” he mumbles, suddenly feeling a little shy, but Ratio just shakes his head.
“It's alright. Some fresh air felt nice anyway.”
Aventurine can only agree to this, although it only makes him really feel that he has had a little bit too much to drink over the course of the evening. At least this also explains some of the weird choices he has made throughout the event - and the weirdest of all choices he is making right now.
Somehow, it is as if his body starts moving before his tired brain even has a chance to start working. He moves forward and places the tiniest little peck on Ratio’s cheek.
It is just a fleeting touch, but it is enough for him to feel the soft skin, so cold from the chilly nights on this planet.
Ratio looks as surprised as Aventurine himself feels. His pretty golden eyes grow wide, but Aventurine does not give him a chance to properly react.
“Thank you for the date and the dance, doctor. Good night!” he says before hurriedly turning around and fleeing the situation by entering the house.
Only when he shuts the door to his apartment behind him and slumps down to the ground right behind without even switching the lights on does it strike him what he has just done. Is he crazy? How is he going to face Ratio again after this?
Hail thee, king of fools, he thinks to himself. Maybe he still needs another drink tonight.
In the end, he falls asleep on his sofa more than just one drink later, with his bottle of whiskey as empty as his intoxicated brain. Next morning’s hangover will be from hell, but that's exactly what he deserves for his idiocy.
Chapter 2: Panta Rhei
Summary:
When Ratio's mother asks about her son's plans for his birthday, the doctor decides that it is the perfect opportunity to show his gratitude to Aventurine by asking him out - of course without any romantic second thoughts.
Chapter Text
What a finale for a completely unpredictable evening, is what Ratio thinks when he remains alone in front of the impersonal building complex Aventurine apparently lives in. Although he knows that it is nothing but an illusion, he thinks that he can still feel where the gambler’s lips just brushed his cheek in a hasty little kiss. Surprisingly, he does not dislike the feeling - and neither does he dislike the faint memory of the man’s perfume lingering in his nose from how close they have been for this brief little moment.
Sometimes, Ratio’s intelligence is a curse. If he were just a regular man, he probably would not think too much about what happened tonight. About the choices he made and what they meant. But unfortunately, he is not just some random guy but a doctor with - among many others - a title in psychology, so he cannot help but to overthink.
Ratio is a rational and sincere man who is focused on his career. He is and has never been interested in romance, and he has never made this a secret, not even when talking to his parents. Yes, his mother’s wish to see him engaged has become a bother to him, but none that would have been unbearable. And still he had willingly agreed to that IPC gamber’s flight of fancy to play his boyfriend without a second thought. Good old Sigmund Freud would have had a lot of fun placing him on one of his legendary sofas to talk about the reasons for this. Probably not as much fun as if he was a pretty woman, but still. At least from a professional perspective he would have been able to draw some interesting conclusions.
Although Ratio is unwilling to dive deeper into this train of thoughts - not tonight anyway - he thinks that there is at least one thing he has to admit: he does not dislike the man who calls himself Aventurine - to a point where he thinks that he can without lying say that he enjoyed this evening with him.
This may have been a fake date, but it is still the closest thing Ratio has ever had to an actual date since he refuses to acknowledge the terrible meetings his mother likes to arrange for him as even remotely date-like.
When Aventurine had approached him with his poorly hidden offer, Ratio had been a little worried at first. The gambler could be unpredictable at times, and he had had no idea about his ulterior motives. It would have been easy for him to embarrass him in front of his mother, but he seemed to have other plans. Had he been bored? Very likely so. But it did not really matter. The man was fully capable of being a terrible little brat, but he had chosen to be a very presentable partner instead. That had been enough for Ratio to put in some effort, too.
Learning that Aventurine did not know how to dance had been a surprise, but it had shown him a whole new side of his character. So he can be humble and shy, too, for a change, Ratio thinks. It suits him well. Unfortunately, Ratio is pretty sure that it will not stay like this for long, given how much talent he has shown even during this first dance.
Ratio forces his thoughts away from the gambler and back to reality. It is cold and it is late, and he is standing in front of this house all alone. To any passer-by he must look like a fool that has been locked out. It is time that he gets home. He makes no exceptions from his routine of getting up early to do some training, so this will be a short night anyway. He spares the building in front of him one last glance, wondering which of those windows belongs to Aventurine’s apartment, but there is no light behind any of those he can see, so in the end, he just turns around and leaves for his own home.
In the weeks to follow, life continues as it has always done. Ratio goes to work, spends his free time with research and reading and does not think too much about the evening with Aventurine. However, sometimes, when his mind gets distracted, he remembers random details. How small Aventurine’s hand had been in his own, for example. Or how surprised he had looked when his mother had hugged him, but he quickly brushes those thoughts aside. They are not important - the two of them have not even talked once afterwards. Most of the time, their lives have little to no osculation points.
It only occurs to Ratio that their little lie may have had consequences when he receives a message from his mother a few weeks later. He is surprised when his phone vibrates to show him that there is a message on the popular messenger app he has only installed because everybody has it. He rarely uses the app, and the few contacts he has added do not bother him very often. When he opens the program, the notification shows him a picture of a hard clam on the beach. It is a joke not many people understand, but since his mother is a renowned conchologist and shares her name with a genus of saltwater clams, she usually uses such pictures in places on the internet where she does not want to reveal her looks by uploading a picture of herself.
Smiling at the picture, Ratio finally opens the message.
“Dear Veritas! This is your annual reminder that your birthday is approaching. Now that you finally are in a relationship, you will surely no longer break your poor mother’s heart by once again telling her that you plan on spending the day alone at work, right? Your father asks me to send his regards, too. Love, C.”
Ratio’s smile fades as quickly as it has reached his face. Is there a way to mark the message as unread? Shouldn’t there be one? He keeps looking, but there seems to be no such button. In the meantime, a green dot appears next to his mother’s profile picture, and just a moment later, three dots under the message show Ratio that she is typing something more.
He waits a few seconds and rolls his eyes upon receiving the new message:
“PS: Don’t pretend that you have not read my message. I can see that you have opened it just now.”
Damn, he thinks. This woman just knows him too well. But what now? He has completely forgotten that she thinks that her son has a partner now. Should he just tell her that they have broken up? But wouldn’t that make her think that he was incapable of maintaining a relationship? It is probably true, but he does not want her to worry about something like this.
So what if he asked the gambler for his assistance once again? Would he agree, given how much fun he seemed to have had the last time?
Only one way to find out, Ratio thinks and starts browsing through his sparse list of contacts until he finds the picture of the blond man smiling into the camera. Unlike Ratio or his mother, he is not shy to show his face on this app. Given how attractive he looks on every photo Ratio has ever seen of him, he does not even wonder. He himself uses an abstract picture of one of his busts and thinks that it fits just fine for him.
When Ratio touches the tiny photo of Aventurine on his screen, their past chat history opens. They have not talked much on this app, and the last message was sent months ago. It shows a picture of three of Ruan Mei’s creatures, sleeping soundly on a bed which is most likely Aventurine’s. Apparently, he has never answered to this message. Hopefully Aventurine does not take offense to the fact that he is bad at online small talk. Or maybe at small talk in general. With a sigh, he begins to type his new message:
“Dear gambler, would you be willing to do me a favour?”
It only takes a few seconds until the message is marked as read. Ratio is impressed. Did the gambler happen to have his phone in his hands or is he one of those persons who react to every sound their phones make the moment they hear it? Whatever the case, he does not have to wait long for an answer.
“Hey doc, what a pleasure to hear from you.”
Ah. It reminds Ratio that he has once again completely ignored all the usual pleasantries in his message.
Luckily, Aventurine does not seem to mind, for the next message follows right on the spot:
“Sure, if it is within my power.”
Actually, Ratio thinks that, given Aventurine’s status, there is not much outside of his power, so he wonders what kind of favour the man thinks about right now.
“What can I do for you?” Aventurine types again, and Ratio understands that it is about time he finally answers.
He thinks about what to write next. He does not want to explain everything in detail, so he decides to just compile the most important information instead:
“Would you go out with me on my birthday?”
Once again, the message is marked as read immediately. However, this time, Ratio has to wait for an answer. Two and a half minutes later, the phone finally shows a new message:
“Sure.”
So much time for such a short reply, Ratio thinks, but he feels relieved anyway.
“Great. This saturday, 6pm, Mensa Secunda?”
It is probably not the most creative idea, but he just picks his favourite restaurant, a not very fancy, but cozy place which serves dishes from his home planet. It is his birthday, after all, so he might at least go somewhere he likes to be.
This time, the answer comes faster again.
“Alright. See you there. Looking forward to it!”
Suddenly in high spirits, Ratio decides to send one of those stickers a lot of people seem to like so much. He decides for a Wubbaboo holding a thumbs up-sign. For a brief moment, he even considers going with the Wubbaboo holding a little heart, but decides that this is a little too much. Afterwards, he diligently reports back to his mother about his plans before putting his phone aside in favour of his books once again.
When his birthday finally arrives, Ratio is a little surprised that he actually looks forward to his meeting with Aventurine. Ever since he moved away from home, Ratio has never again celebrated his birthday with somebody. He never felt sorry about this, but for some reason, he suddenly likes the idea of doing something a little special.
Aventurine is already waiting in front of the restaurant when Ratio arrives 15 minutes before the time they had agreed on. His cheeks look a little flushed, making the doctor wonder if he has waited for him outside for long. Actually, Ratio thinks that it is not even that cold, and Aventurine denies that he has waited more than a few minutes, so it is a little bit of a mystery to him. Maybe he just freezes easily? He is from a desert planet, after all. And it probably does not help with how thin he is.
They go inside. Ratio has reserved a table in the back where they are not bothered by many other guests. Once they have ordered food and drink, they have time to talk.
“I admit that I was a bit surprised upon receiving your invitation.” Aventurine tells him after they have exchanged a few pleasantries. “I thought you'd be mad at me.”
Ratio thinks about it: “I assume you're talking about the little incident at the end of our last meeting?” he wants to know, and Aventurine confirms his suspicion.
“Yeah, exactly. I fear I went a little overboard there.” he apologizes meekly. “Guess I had a bit more to drink than I should have…”
“It was unexpected.” Ratio agrees. “But nothing to worry about.”
Upon hearing that, Aventurine seems relieved. But apparently, there is still something else on his mind:
“May I ask you something about today?” he requests, and Ratio nods.
“Am I here… playing your boyfriend, once again?”
He sounds a little insecure, and Ratio understands that he might have provided a little too little information when inviting him.
“Ah, forgive me for not properly putting you in the picture. It was indeed my mother who urged me to spend my birthday with my ‘boyfriend’, this is why I asked this as a favour of you in the first place. But when further thinking about it, I figured that it might be a nice idea in general. I still owe you my thanks for last time. But of course you don't have to act anything. Please, just think of it as my way of showing my gratitude.”
Somehow, Ratio has a feeling that he is rambling without actually proving his point of view at all, and it frustrates him. He is used to being straightforward and nuanced with his words.
Anyway, Aventurine seems to be content with his explanation for now. He smiles at him, and there is a little bit of the typical mischief in his eyes as he speaks up again:
“In that case, we’ll get into a dilemma when we receive the bill at the end of the day. As the one going out with you for your birthday, I am determined to be the one inviting you.”
Ratio catches on immediately. Now also smiling, he replies: “And as the one who wants to show my gratitude, I am of course determined to be the one inviting you.”
They chuckle a little. It is a silly situation, but of course it does not stand in the way of their evening together.
As usual, Ratio enjoys talking to Aventurine. He is witty and clever and defends his opinions with unique arguments. He does not even back out when they are about to argue about a topic, which happens pretty often because they have very different worldviews. Anyway, this is such a rare trait, and one Ratio appreciates above everything else, so he cannot help but enjoy those little arguments.
After they have finished their meals, he is even lucky enough to catch another glimpse of the still very unknown insecure side of Aventurine when the gambler confesses to him that he has prepared a gift for him. For some reason, all of the man's signature-cockiness seems to be gone all of a sudden, and this shyness about the topic amuses Ratio, so he cannot resist the temptation to mock him, just a little:
“Not only are you doing me a favour, now you even got me a gift? Isn't that a little too much?”
The feigned offense works, given the way the gamblers cheeks flush. Ratio has to admit that it makes him look rather… cute. It is not that he has a problem with people with a good self esteem, not at all, but a lot of Aventurine's bravado always seemed to be a little off to him. Like it is part of a play, but acted out by someone who would be suited better for an entirely different role.
After a short period of silence, Aventurine confesses a little sheepishly: “I do not exactly get invited to birthdays every day, you know?”, and his voice sounds so vulnerable that Ratio starts to fear that he has seriously overstepped. He merely wanted to tease, not to offend.
A little helpless, he finally accepts the gift and finds himself momentarily speechless when he unwraps it.
It is a book about the history of bust-sculpting on his home planet, written by one of his favourite authors. Ratio knows that he has been working on this book for years, but he is also pretty certain that it had never been released because he had been unable to find a publisher willing to make an actual physical version. The art of printing books on paper has been a dying one for several amber eras, after all.
He opens the book like it is the most precious thing in the world, only to find a personal dedication on the first page.
“...how?” is everything he manages to say when he finally finds his tongue again.
Now, it is Aventurine who is guilty of rambling, and given his lack of context, it takes a while until Ratio fully understands what the gambler has done for him.
In the five days between Ratio’s invitation and his birthday, this insane man has contacted the author Ratio must have mentioned as a side note during one of their conversations ages ago, founded a publishing house with the appealing name ‘Panta Rhei’, printed a first edition of the book and got the author to sign it for him. It is crazy and brilliant at the same time. It is the perfect gift, and one none other than Aventurine would have been able to make and none other than Ratio would have been able to appreciate.
“Is it too much?” Aventurine asks shyly while Ratio stares at him in some sort of shock.
“It most definitely is.” Ratio confirms. “But it is also the most beautiful gift I have received in my entire life.”
Words are not enough to express his feelings, so he takes the one of Aventurine's hands which is currently resting on the table, playing with the rim of his wine glass, into his own, pulls it towards him and presses a kiss on top of its back.
“You must be insane to do all of this for me - how am I supposed to ever thank you for this, properly?” he says, enjoying the variety of unfiltered emotions on Aventurine’s face.
There is surprise in those pretty eyes, widened upon just having received a kiss on his hand, and also bashfulness, probably because of Ratio’s uncommonly gentle words.It suits him, Ratio thinks. It is rare enough to see such genuine feelings on his ever-smiling poker face.
“Th…think nothing of it.” Aventurine replies. “I’m just happy that I seem to have picked the right gift.”
They stay a little longer and have another glass of wine before they bid each other farewell for the day - of course not without a final debate about the question who is going to pay the bill. In the end, they both remain stubborn, leading to the final decision that both of them are paying for their own part. It is a reasonable decision, but it does not exactly make Ratio feel content. Next time, he thinks to himself, I’m going to invite him, and there won’t be a way for him to talk me out of this.
When Ratio arrives at home after their little birthday “date”, he is in the best of moods. It makes him talkative when his parents call to wish him a happy birthday. He was prepared for his mother’s question about his date anyway, but initially had not planned to tell her much about it. While he knows she only means well, she can be very curious - it is the curse of his family - and when it comes to such private matters, he usually likes to keep a low profile. He is not a child anymore, and his mother has tried to meddle with his affairs a little bit too often in the past.
But this time, it is different. He willingly tells her everything, especially about the gift he has received, because he just knows that she understands what this means to him. And it is obvious that he is right about this. His mother does understand, and she reacts by making an offer he has not expected:
“It is so nice to see you so happy! Veritas, darling - since this is obviously very serious between the two of you, your father and I have been thinking about inviting you and Aventurine over for New Year. What do you think?”
Ratio does not believe his ears. New Year is the time of the year his small family gathers. It is a tradition, something like a sacrament. No matter how busy he or his parents get, they always take some days off around this time of the year to meet and spend some time together, and this has never been open to outsiders. This gesture is meaningful, and it makes Ratio happy, so he agrees to extend the invitation.
Only after he has put away the phone does it occur to him that there is an obvious flaw in his thoughts, one that should never have happened to a man of the mind like him:
Aventurine is not his boyfriend.
What the hell has he been thinking?!
And what is he supposed to do now?
Chapter 3: Impostor Syndrome
Summary:
Ratio asks for a final favour, and of course Aventurine agrees again. However, this time, the 'favour' turns out to be a much bigger thing, and the gambler struggles painfully.
Chapter Text
“Dear Aventurine, once again, thank you very much for today, I really enjoyed our meal. I am sorry to bother you again, but there is another favour I would like to ask of you. Would you perchance be willing to play my boyfriend one last time?”
The message reaches Aventurine when he is back home in his apartment, alone with his cat cakes and his violently spinning thoughts.
Today has been a lot for him. He had been so nervous when Ratio had invited him to celebrate his birthday with him. As “Aventurine”, he has never spent a birthday with somebody close to him - because there has never been anybody close to him. Heck, he has not even spent his own birthday with anybody, because Aventurine of Stratagems does not have a birthday. He’s an IPC tool, and tools don’t celebrate their birthdays!
He has really racked his brain about what to give to Ratio, and it has not even occurred to him that his gift might have been too much. Ratio is a special man, and he deserves a special gift, so Aventurine still is unsure if he has really done too much. To him, it feels reasonable. Money is no issue for him, and the preparation of the gift was fun, so he does not really see a problem. But Ratio’s reaction…
The moment Ratio took his hand and kissed it, Aventurine’s heart was about to stop beating in his chest. Or was it about to jump out instead? He cannot even tell. Being treated so gently by this man had completely overwhelmed him, and it had shown him an unsettling truth about his own feelings - one he simply refuses to think about any further.
If he now thinks about all of this just a single step further, Aventurine will not be able to answer the doctor’s newest message - and he wants to answer it. He needs to. And soon, too, because a gambler like him does not hesitate. It is suspicious and out of character. However, this time it is hard.
“One last time” is what Ratio has written.
So their little game is actually coming to an end.
That’s fine, he thinks. He has had his fun with the doctor, hasn't he? And it means that the tight feeling in his chest will finally go away.
He will look back at this and laugh about it. He just needs a little time.
Right?
“Sure thing. When do you need me?” he finally replies to Ratio’s message - only to find out that this time, all of this is much bigger than he has expected.
Ratio gets him with his car a few weeks later. Aventurine has never seen him drive, but he likes being his co-driver. He looks so serious and focused, and he is wearing his glasses. They suit him so well. Also, the whole car smells like Ratio, and somehow, this seems to be a deeply reassuring scent to Aventurine. On a longer drive, he is sure that he would fall asleep soundly in no time.
However, it is only a short drive, because their destination is the nearby space station. Ratio has invited him to accompany him to another planet - his home planet - to spend the change of the years with him and his parents - as his boyfriend. For some reason, this feels like a bigger role to play for Aventurine than the one he has performed at the Grand Theater in Penacony.
Somehow, Ratio seems to sense his nervousness: “Thank you very much for joining me. Please rest assured that there is no need to be nervous. You already know my mother, and my father is a friendly man as well. They always joke about how my curtness seems out of place in the whole family. When looking at genetics, this trait of mine seems to be unexplainable to everyone.”
Upon hearing those words, Aventurine finds himself wondering if Ratio already used to be the way he is now when he was a child. Looking back at his own childhood, leaving aside all the sad things, he has to admit that he has always had a thing for gambling. Like back then, when he made a bet with those bastards who had taken his sister’s jewelry… Anyway, the thought of a small version of Ratio, already as brilliant as he is now, scolding grown-ups for their stupidity, puts a smile on Aventurine’s face.
Unfortunately, they do not have the time to dwell on the subject much longer, for the space station is already in sight. Ratio parks the car, they grab their luggage from the trunk and check in to their spaceship. Just about three system hours later, they arrive at Ratio’s home planet.
Aventurine has never been here before, and since it is the doctor’s home, he soaks in everything around him like a sponge while they are in the taxi taking them to Ratio’s parents.
It is obviously a wealthy planet, full of nice quarters with pretty family homes that could come straight out of an estate agent’s catalogue. White facades, decorative pillars in front of cozy terraces, tiny fences separating well-maintained gardens from the clean and quiet streets. Everything speaks of a peaceful life, and somehow, Aventurine likes the idea that this has been the place where a mind as brilliant, as eccentric and as inconvenient as the one of Doctor Veritas Ratio has been able to form. Just like Aventurine himself, he must have learned a thing or two about being a nuisance to the people around him on his way to where he is now.
“Care to share your thoughts?” Ratio’s clear voice startles Aventurine from his musings.
“Ah, I just found myself wondering how you ever fit into a place as… uhm… square as this.” he admits, trying his best not to choose any words that could be able to offend. ‘Home’ is a sensitive topic after all. Aventurine knows this very well.
However, Ratio immediately seems to understand, for he gives him a little smile before answering: “Want to make an educated guess why I left my parent's house the moment I had finished school? Which was pretty early, by the way.”
They both chuckle at this, but fall silent soon after, both caught up in their own thoughts.
After a while. Aventurine decides to share a little more of what is on his mind: “Would you mind telling me something about your father? I thought it might have been rude to just look him up in the IPC information network, given he’s your family, but now I feel bad knowing nothing at all…”
In return, Ratio throws him a strange look, and Aventurine immediately starts to wonder if looking up information about people before you meet them is not a normal thing to do. He always does it with his business partners.
In the end, Aventurine does not find out what is on Ratio’s mind, for he just starts to fill him in: “My father’s name is Clementius. I doubt you would have been able to find much about him in the IPC’s data. He used to be a literature professor and has worked at this planet’s university for his whole worklife. We actually don't have much in common, but I guess you could say that he was the one who awakened the love for books in me.”
That’s a nice thought, Aventurine thinks as he thanks Ratio for the information. There is not much more time for small talk, for the taxi driver - a robot looking like a very old-fashioned chauffeur, with a suit and a hat and white gloves and everything - announces that they have reached their destination. Aventurine feels his heart sink, just a little. Before he leaves the taxi, he briefly reaches for his neck to make sure the turtleneck he has chosen for today really covers his whole slave mark. It does, but he has to realize that it helps less than anticipated with suppressing his anxiety about not being good enough for all of this.
To Aventurine, who has little to no memory of his parents, it is fascinating to find out that at first glance, the love for books really seems to be the only thing Clementius Ratio has passed on to his son. He is an unobtrusive man, tall and slim like a young tree, with his grey hair and the thick glasses he needs for reading the only things betraying his age. He is polite and attentive and seems to avoid any topic which might cause disharmony. He is the polar opposite of his son, but Aventurine cannot help but like him and his calm and well-mannered ways.
Still, the whole situation is extremely weird. They are sitting around the kitchen table, talking and enjoying the meal Clementius has cooked, and Aventurine feels tense for so, so many reasons.
What if Ratio’s parents ask about his background? His education? What if he says something stupid, exposing the lie of him and Ratio being a couple?
It is strange. Aventurine is a skilled liar, it has always been a crucial skill for his survival. Why should he fail just now? And why does he fear the thought so much? It is not like his life is on the line this time, like it has been so many times in the past.
He finds out the answer the hard way, when his luck is running out and Ratio’s parents seem to have read his mind to ask all the questions he has feared to hear so much.
“My son has told me that you are a Senior Manager working for the IPC?” Clementius asks, and although there is no judgment in his tone, Aventurine starts to feel wary. The IPC is seen as a controversial company throughout the whole cosmos, after all. Still, he has no chance but to agree - it is true, after all, and he refuses to outright lie to these kind people more than he has already done the moment he suggested that little game all those months ago.
“That’s a huge career for a man as young as you are!” Clementius praises him, and Aventurine shyly thanks him.
“May I ask you where you learned your profession?” Ratio’s father continues to question him, and although Aventurine is sure that he has no bad intentions, this leads the conversation into dangerous terrain.
“I guess you could say it was learning by doing.” he tries to wiggle his way out of this. “I just got the chance to join the IPC and managed to make a name for myself pretty soon.”
“I see.” Clementius nods, but he is obviously not content with this answer: “But then, what did you study? Are you from a completely different field of expertise?”
Aventurine casts a slightly desperate glance at Ratio next to him. He does not know what he is supposed to say, and Ratio knows that he has not received any formal education.
“Aventurine has not been to any university, father. The IPC is a modern company and values talents from every walk of life.” Ratio explains, and Aventurine is stunned how positive he can make it sound with his choice of words. Although he usually does not make a secret of his background, he would have been too embarrassed to outright say the truth right here and now. It is just too obvious how much Ratio’s parents value traditional education.
They drop the topic and engage in some small talk, but when Aventurine is finally starting to feel safe again, it is Ratio’s mother who brings up the next problematic topic:
“I just noticed that Veritas never told us where you come from. Your eyes are so unique, I don’t think I’ve ever seen such a pretty colour anywhere else! Is it a common trait of your family, or even your home planet?”
Aventurine hates his eyes, and as usual, they do nothing but betray him.
Once again, he gives Ratio a helpless look. The doctor has not told his parents about Aventurine’s origins, so that means he does not want them to know, right?
To his surprise, Ratio just gives him an encouraging nod: “I wanted to leave this decision up to you, so I did not tell them anything.”
Oh no.
Aventurine’s hands start to sweat. This is a high-stake gamble, but none of those he enjoys. He desperately wants to clutch the chip in his pocket in his fist, but it would be too suspicious to move his hand from the table right now. So instead, he grabs the half full glass of water in front of him and stares down at the little waves his trembling hands cause on the surface.
“I was born on Sigonia-IV.” he admits. With Ratio’s parents being just as well-educated as their son, he has little hope that the planet’s name won’t ring any bells, so he decides he might as well deliver the final blow against himself out of his own volition:
“As an Avgin.”
After that, there is silence in the room, and Aventurine prepares himself for the usual slurs. ‘Avgin scum’, ‘sleeky bastard’, ‘ragtag’ - he has heard them all, countless times, and although he used to think that he has grown numb to them, he is not so sure in this situation. It is fatal, but he has allowed himself to like those people and made himself vulnerable.
It is Callista who catches herself first. Aventurine flinches when he suddenly senses a warm touch of slim and warm fingers on his own hands, and he cannot even hide his body's reaction because it almost sends the glass he is clinging to flying.
Ratio’s mother is now fully encircling Aventurine’s hands, which feel cold from his own anxiety, with her own, and when he looks up in surprise and their eyes meet, he sees no resentment in hers:
“I cannot believe Veritas did not tell us something so crucial - our questions must have been so obtrusive to you!”, she says, and her voice sounds genuinely compassionate. Aventurine feels at a loss for words.
“We followed the news back then. It was unbelievable to us what they did to your people, a true shame for humanity.” Clementius adds. However, he has another question, and when his curiosity finally gets the better of him and he actually asks it, this is the first time Aventurine understands that he and his son are not as different from each other as they might think they are:
“Forgive me if I’m too nosy with this, but I cannot help but wonder: the IPC clearly had a hand in all of this - so how did you end up working for them, of all people?”
The question is so straight-forward, so logical and so relatable, and yet nobody has ever asked it before - has ever dared to ask it, be it out of disinterest or pity - not even the doctor.
“Father!” Ratio says, his voice stern.
“Clementius!” Callista scolds, almost at the same time, and Aventurine understands that Ratio’s father is even less capable of restraining his curiosity than his son. It is a quite fascinating realization, and one that briefly distracts him from his unwillingness to come up with a reply. Not even Ratio knows the whole story of how he joined the IPC, and he does not want to share this with his whole family at the kitchen table.
In the end, he decides to give the most superficial answer he can come up with: “It was a chance I was unable to refuse, and I don’t regret that I took it.” he says. It is not a lie, but it certainly leaves out half of the truth - the part where he would be dead by now if he had not made his little gamble with Jade back then. Which he obviously cannot tell Ratio's parents right now, because it would make it necessary to explain why there was a death sentence against him in the first place…
His life’s story, Aventurine once again realizes, is like a minefield full of subjects he cannot speak about without appearing like a - potentially dangerous - freak to others, with Ratio himself being the one exception because somehow, he never judges him the way others do. That's also the reason why Aventurine is now once again doing his best to save this situation: he just cannot stand the thought of messing up and causing the doctor any unnecessary trouble - not after being given the honour of doing him such a personal favour in the first place.
“I mean, I never would have gotten the chance to meet your son if it wasn’t for the IPC!” he says enthusiastically, a final desperate attempt to change the subject to a lighter topic.
Luckily, it works, and the rest of the evening is just nice and harmless small talk. He learns a lot of stories about Ratio’s childhood, leading him to the conclusion that he must have been an adorable child - clever and stubborn, sweet and determined at the same time - and almost gets his mother to show him old pictures of the doctor. Unfortunately, Ratio stops her from doing it.
However, when they finally say goodnight to each other, Aventurine feels exhausted. He is tired from all the uncomfortable questions, and he feels cheap and dirty for lying to these beautiful people in the first place. They have welcomed him to their family, treated him with so much warmth and respect - and he has repaid it with nothing but lies and concealed truths. He is an impostor, in every aspect. A man without education, working for the company which is responsible for his own people’s genocide. A man pretending to be their precious son’s boyfriend, when - in reality - he is nothing to him at all.
He understands this when they are standing alone in Ratio’s room, and Ratio suggests that Aventurine can have the bed while he will sleep on the sofa. It is unreasonable, for Aventurine is so much smaller than Ratio, making it much more comfortable for him to use the sofa instead. However, when he thinks about it, he realizes that this is not the problem at all. He does not want to sleep on the bed when Ratio sleeps on the sofa and he does not want to sleep on the sofa when Ratio sleeps on the bed. Should Ratio decide to sleep on the fucking carpet, it is exactly there Aventurine wants to sleep, too. In the end, he never wanted to play Ratio’s boyfriend - he wanted to be his boyfriend all along.
The realization scares Aventurine for so many reasons.
“I…I’m so sorry, Ratio.” he stutters. “I need some fresh air.”
And with this cowardly excuse, he storms out of the room and flees the house, aimlessly running into the completely unfamiliar, nightly town.
It is a stupid idea, of course. Aventurine does not know this place, and he pays the direction he is heading to no attention. Only when he is starting to feel a little out of breath does he stop to take a look around.
The area does not look much different from the one the house of Ratio's family is located, and Aventurine immediately understands that he might have trouble finding his way back.
However, right now that does not matter, because he has no intentions of going back any time soon. He takes a look up into the sky. There are no stars. The only thing he can see is the little cloud his breath is forming when he is breathing. It reminds him of what Ratio told him about his home planet. Apparently, it used to be unfit for human life before they built a whole artificial atmosphere, meaning that the sky here is nothing but fake. A planet under a giant cheese dome was how Ratio had tried to explain it to him with a comparison. Back then, Aventurine had laughed, but now he feels sulky: why the fuck create such a cold night when you could easily settle for a nice and warm climate all year round? He is only wearing a thin shirt, his jacket is still hanging on the coat rack in the house he stormed out of a few minutes ago. Ratio would surely scold him for being careless once again.
Stop, he tells himself. Ratio here, Ratio there. There seems to be nothing else on his mind. Wasn't he just trying to get away from him just minutes ago? Is he an idiot?
Obviously, he blames himself. In the distance, he sees a place which looks different from all the houses around and decides to go there and check it out. It turns out to be a playground.
Why not?, he thinks and enters it by hopping over the tiny fence which is separating it from the outer world.
Chapter 4: Gamified Learning
Summary:
When Ratio finds Aventurine out in the cold of the night, they both understand that it is time to finally talk about their little game and its consequences.
Notes:
(See the end of the chapter for notes.)
Chapter Text
Ratio is dumbfounded when Aventurine suddenly leaves his childhood bedroom to ‘get some fresh air’, as he claims. He is aware that some of the topics which have been addressed throughout the evening have been sensitive ones for him, but he had a feeling that the man had managed everything just fine. Was he wrong? Did he fall for the gambler’s infuriating poker face once again? Have they not managed to get past this point with their relationship?
It is a rare thing for Veritas Ratio to not know what to do, but this is exactly what is happening now. He is not one to disrespect anyone's need for personal space, and Aventurine has clearly said that he “needs some fresh air.” It is a universal code meaning “I want to be alone!”, Ratio knows this from past experience.
However… The gambler is not a logical person. Ratio has long since accepted that he is his very own system of chaos, and that this system often is not fathomable to him.
When the doctor finally decides to leave his room and quietly walks down the stairs to not disturb his parents, his mother takes a peek out of her bedroom to talk to him:
“Is everything alright? Didn't I just hear the front door?”
Ratio nods at her: “Yes, Aventurine has left the house. Apparently he needed a bit of fresh air.”
His mother glances at him critically: “Have you said or done something?”
In a normal conversation, Ratio would scold her for blaming him without evidence. Tonight, however, he starts to doubt that she is really wrong: “If only I knew…” he grumbles and decides that - just this once - he will put his potentially unfounded worry over Aventurine’s right for privacy and follow him outside.
The first thing he notices when he grabs his own cloak is that this reckless fool of a man is not even wearing his poor excuse of a ‘winter jacket’. It makes him furious. Is he trying to get himself killed? As far as Ratio can remember, he is only wearing a very thin shirt, which undoubtedly looks good on him but won't do anything to keep him warm, and the temperatures around this time of the year are close to the freezing point.
When he is out on the street, Ratio starts to ponder the question where Aventurine might have gone to. When he thinks about himself, a few potential places come to mind. The public bookshelf closeby. The sculpture park. The reading hall of the university, open 24/7. However, those are Ratio's preferences, and Aventurine is not even familiar with this place and doesn't know any of them.
He thinks further. What does the gambler like? Luxury, dangerous things and games come to mind. The kind of extravagant luxury he likes is not popular on Ratio's home planet, so he won't find anything to his liking here. Also, this place is the least dangerous one Ratio can think of. There is almost no criminality, no shady businesses, not even places for extreme sports. That's good, he thinks. This way, Aventurine will at least not be able to get himself into trouble. What remains are games. Gambling is prohibited, so this is a loose end, too. What else could there be? The only people engaging in games here are kids, and the only place for kids that comes to mind is the playground closeby. He decides to give it a try.
The walk to the playground takes around fifteen minutes, and it is enough to make Ratio curse the cold. There are different stories as to why this planet has an actual ‘winter’ season despite creating its own, completely artificial climate. The most popular one is the “christmas-tradition-theory”. It says that people chose to end every year with a season filled with cold weather and snow because this was what the people on humanity’s planet of origin once considered to be the perfect weather for this season. Apparently, it was a cliche formed by the media, by movies and ads proclaiming how romantic it is to meet at the end of the year, sitting idly by a fireside while the snow is falling outside. It is a silly story, and even if there may be a grain of truth in it, Ratio is aware that it is not the true reason.
In reality, decisions like this are always based on rationality and economy, and this one is not different. Many amber eras ago, when human life on the planet was still young, they had settled for mild winters, but it did not turn out to be the paradise for humanity they had imagined it to become. Instead, the ones who profited the most had been the parasites. Without a proper winter, nature lacked the capacity to control their numbers, with serious consequences for the local agriculture, so the cold season quickly saw its comeback. No sentimental feelings involved in the process, just logical thinking - maybe it is the explanation why Ratio has always preferred this theory over the other one. For some reason, he now finds himself wondering which story Aventurine would prefer. Probably the other one, he assumes. He cannot always follow the gambler’s thought patterns, but they tend to disagree on matters like this. He likes this. It leaves room for interesting discussions.
But all of this is a question for another day, Ratio reminds himself when the playground finally comes in sight.
Although Ratio does not like to admit it, his eyesight is not the best. He regularly uses his glasses for reading, but he also has a pair for larger distances which he typically only wears when he drives. Unfortunately, in contrast to his reading glasses, he does not always carry this pair with him. However, he is not so blind that he does not notice the lone figure sitting on one of the swings on the playground. The figure is small and slim enough to at least resemble a teenager from afar, but the flock of blond hair tells Ratio everything he needs to know. He’d recognize this colour everywhere, even out here in the dark. It is such a unique and pretty blond, always reminding him of a ripe wheat field in the last days of summer.
Initially, Ratio wants to greet Aventurine with the scolding he deserves for exposing himself to the cold like this, but the look on the man’s face stops him from actually doing it. He has never seen him look so sad and vulnerable - not even back in Penacony when Sunday had tortured him by forcing all of his memories back to the surface.
“Aventurine.” he says to get his attention. He is pretty sure that the gambler must have heard him coming, but only now does he show him some attention.
“Hi, doc.” is what Aventurine replies, quietly. There is nothing of the typical bravado in his voice. It makes him sound very small and a little lost.
“May I join you?” Ratio asks, and when Aventurine gives him the permission, he takes the swing next to him. It is a strange feeling. He has not sat on one for ages, and it feels so much smaller than it did when he was a child.
They sit in silence for a while. This would be a great moment for some small talk to lighten the mood, but unfortunately, Ratio has no idea about finding suitable topics and Aventurine seems to be unwilling to play the chatty guy like he usually likes to do. So in the end, Ratio decides to - just for tonight - go out of his way and try his luck with some random topic:
“Do you know why the people on this planet decided to keep the four seasons they knew from humanity’s planet of origin?”
Aventurine looks at him and gives him a smile. It is only a small one, but it is one at all, so Ratio decides to count this as a success and starts to tell Aventurine the story. When he is finished, the gambler surprises him with his reply:
“I see the romantic appeal in the traditional theory.” he says, but immediately adds something else: “However, as someone from a pretty hostile planet like Sigonia-IV, I cannot believe that people would willingly choose such a terrible coldness just because of a nostalgic memory. It goes against any survival instinct.”
The answer makes Ratio sigh: “While I’m happy we agree on that for once, I cannot help but wonder what exactly is wrong with your survival instinct then? Were you planning to freeze yourself to death out here?”
The remark seems to make Aventurine feel a little sheepish, but he does not give Ratio any answer, so the doctor decides to get a little more straight-forward:
“Care to tell me what’s wrong, gambler?” he asks, and the addressed man seems to flinch a little in reaction to this question.
He can tell that Aventurine’s first impulse is to lie, to brush it off like he always does and to tell him that everything is fine, but in the end, he does not dare to do it. It is so obviously wrong that there is no use in even trying. He sighs deeply:
“After this evening, back there in your room… I just realized that I can no longer play your boyfriend. I know that it was me who started this game in the first place, but… it just doesn’t work anymore. I'm sorry.”
Ratio looks at him intensely, but he does not manage to read whatever Aventurine is hiding between those lines, so he reminds him:
“That’s fine. I told you that this is the last time I would ask you, didn’t I?”
“You did.” Aventurine agrees, and for some reason, it sounds… bitter?
There is a little break before Aventurine speaks again: “But what if I never wanted there to be a final round to this game?”
This confuses Ratio: “But didn’t you just tell me you no longer want to play this game anyway?”
Surprisingly, Aventurine seems offended by those words: “No, I didn’t! I told you that I can no longer play it, not that I don’t want to!” he explains himself, and Ratio notices that it must be the first time he sees him genuinely angry about something.
Also, that is a difference, Ratio agrees - but still, he does not really understand, and that is also what he tells Aventurine:
“It seems that I am the slow one among us right now, but I fear that you will have to explain yourself if you want me to understand: what exactly are you trying to tell me?”
Aventurine takes a moment to think about his answer, his anger obviously already vanished. After some consideration, he starts with a question: “You know that I like my gambles risky, right? High stakes, high rewards and all of this.”
It is more of a rhetorical question and they both know it, so Ratio just nods and Aventurine continues:
“However, I am used to winning. But this time, I have to admit that I lost. It's a bit embarrassing to put it like this, but I guess you could say that you were my opponent, and my wager was my own stupid heart, and I stupidly failed to even understand it before it was too late…”
It takes a moment for Ratio to see through Aventurine's clumsy comparison, but when he does, it makes him smile fondly, and it encourages him to go on with his own agenda:
“Would you still consider it a loss if I promised you to take good care of what I won from you?”
The look on Aventurine's eyes tells Ratio that he does not quite understand, so he decides to add a little more context, in a way he hopes is fathomable for the gambler:
“Let me try to put it in your terms. You know I'm not much of a gambler, but when I decided to join your little game all those months ago, I put in a wager, too, and it might have been similar to the one you chose. And in that sense, I have to admit that I lost, too. Which, strictly speaking, makes it a draw anyway, in case such details really matter to you.”
Now, it finally seems to dawn on Aventurine what Ratio is trying to say, judging by the way his pretty eyes widen in surprise.
“But… you said today was the last time you'd ask me to play your boyfriend… Then why?” Aventurine seems to stumble over his own words, and Ratio suddenly understands that ultimately, this mess is his fault for leaving out important information once again. He sighs in exasperation:
“You're right, I did say that - because I was hoping for a chance to talk to you and ask you to actually become my… boyfriend.”
Oh, it feels so embarrassing to speak it out loud! And how deafening the following silence sounds to his ears!
“ You want to be with me ?” Aventurine's voice is not much more than a whisper when he finally speaks up again after what feels like an eternity although it probably is not even more than a minute.
“Is that such an unbelievable idea to you? Didn't the same happen to you?” Ratio asks, potentially just a little offended by the gambler’s lack of self-esteem in this matter of all things.
“Yeah, it did, but… you are… Ratio. And I am, well, me, I guess.”
Seriously, where did the man's eloquence go? Ratio crosses his arms in front of his chest. It probably makes him look like a pouty child, given the fact that he is sitting on a swing right now.
“I don't see any problem with you being you and me being me and us being together.” he simply states what he takes to be self-explanatory - only to see a tear rolling down Aventurine's cheek.
“Gambler?” he gets up in shock. Did he say something wrong? Cursed be all aeons, he has no experience whatsoever in these matters! For the first time ever, he wishes the always overly confident Aventurine back, and the thought alone immediately makes him feel a pang of guilt. It is the man behind the poker face he fell for - the man who's sitting in front of him now, crying for a reason Ratio fails to understand.
“I’m alright.” Aventurine claims. Ratio finds it hard to believe when he sees him sobbing on the swing on this desolate playground since the first teardrop obviously decided that it did not want to stay alone.
“Just a little overwhelmed, I guess.” he tries to explain himself when he sees Ratio’s worried look, and the doctor wonders where he is supposed to take their discussion now.
However, in that moment, the subject of discussion changes itself when suddenly, something white lands on Aventurine's hand, which is at that moment gripping the handle of the swing like there is an abyss underneath him.
“What is this?” The gambler’s eyes widen in surprise once again.
“Is it ash?” he wonders worriedly, only to correct himself immediately: “No, it's cold, isn't it? Is this snow?”
How could he have forgotten , Ratio scolds himself. It always snows on the last night of the year. He has completely put that thought aside. It is his planet’s way to value the people's wish for a cozy time between the years. In a sense, by doing so, they actually make the silly theory about how the perfect end of the year should be a white one true.
While he is still thinking about this, Aventurine gets up from the swing, too, and Ratio takes a good look at him. He has stopped crying. Instead, his eyes gaze up towards the sky. And - aeons help him - he looks so beautiful. His eyes are shining in genuine surprise and curiosity, and Ratio understands that this must be his first time seeing snow. Sigonia-IV is a desert planet, after all.
“It's so pretty, doctor!” he says as he watches the white flakes tumble down.
“And so quiet!” he adds, and Ratio has to admit that he is right. There is only just a small snow blanket forming on the ground at the moment, but it already muffles the sound of everything around.
Aventurine seems to be unable to get enough of watching the snow, and Ratio does not want to ruin this experience for him, but he cannot help but worry when he looks at him. He is still only wearing his thin shirt, and by now, his head and his shoulders are starting to get covered by snow, so he decides to make a bold move.
He is not sure if everything between them is settled, but he steps closer to Aventurine from behind and pulls the man close, wrapping him into his own cloak in the way.
The cloak is not big enough to fully cover two men, but Ratio hopes that - together with his body’s temperature - it is able to provide at least a little warmth.
Aventurine gets quiet and turns around in his arms. When he looks up at him, his cheeks seem to be red, and Ratio is not sure if the cold is the only reason for this.
“I don't want you to freeze to death, you know?” Ratio explains himself, and Aventurine gives him a smile.
“That's nice of you.” he says. “Does that mean we can stay like this a little bit longer?” he asks, and there is just the perfect amount of mischief in his eyes for Ratio to understand that actually, he likes the man's cheeky side, too. At least a little. Sometimes.
“As long as you want to.” he promises, but for the moment, they both seem to have forgotten about the snow. At least Ratio can tell that he forgets about it when Aventurine looks up at him now, gets on his tiptoes and gently presses their lips together.
Ratio does not know how it is with Aventurine, but for him, this is his first kiss, and he feels like he has missed something in his life he did not even know he did. Aventurine's lips are not exactly warm in the beginning, but they are soft, and after leaning into the kiss himself, Ratio can really feel them warning up against his own lips by the second.
“Thank you.” Aventurine whispers a little later, when they reluctantly break the kiss in need of air, and Ratio feels like he never wants to let go of him ever again.
They stay like this for a long while. The town around them is getting quieter and whiter by the minute, and Ratio has to admit that it is a pretty sight. Maybe even a little romantic, actually. However, at some point, not even Ratio can help Aventurine against the cold anymore. When he feels him shivering in his arms, he decides that it is time to finally head home. The snow will still be there the next morning, for them to enjoy in broad daylight.
Back in his parent's kitchen, he insists on preparing a cup of warm milk with honey for both of them. Aventurine is sitting at the kitchen table and watches him while he prepares the beverages. He is wearing the warmest woolen pullover Ratio has brought along. It is much too tall for him, making him look like he could completely drown in it, but it is better than anything he has brought along, and he seems content.
They drink their milk in comfortable silence, and Ratio can watch the gambler’s eyes grow heavier by the minute. Like this, the man reminds him of a sleepy cat. It is a cute sight, and a precious display of trust from someone as used to never letting his guard down as him.
Before he can actually fall asleep right at the kitchen table, Ratio suggests they go to bed, and Aventurine agrees. So, a few minutes later, they find themselves back in Ratio's bedroom, wearing their pajamas, ready to finally sleep.
But what now? They have never settled on the question of who takes the bed, and now that the circumstances have changed, Ratio is unsure how to proceed.
It is when the gambler steps in: “You're not just thinking about the question who of us is going to take the bed, are you?” he asks, and Ratio could swear that his voice sounds a tad amused.
“Actually…” he admits, and Aventurine starts to giggle.
“I'll make it easy for you: if you're going to take the sofa, I'll take the sofa, too. If you're choosing the bed, I'll do the same. So the only thing left for you to decide is the level of comfort we're going to enjoy tonight.”
“I see.” Ratio says and nods, a little dumbfounded. In that case, the bed is the only possible choice. It is small for two people, but not as small as the sofa. He is unused to not sleeping alone, but he wants it to become a comfortable experience for both of them.
A few minutes later, he is lying in his old childhood bed, staring at the ceiling and not believing that he is going to find any sleep that night. Aventurine is lying next to him, his body pressed close to Ratio’s. One of his small hands is resting on Ratio's chest, and there is a fine smile on his already sleeping face. He really must have been exhausted, Ratio thinks. His head is resting on one of the doctor's arms, and although he is aware that it will become numb when he stays like this, he just refuses to move.
Aventurine is so close that he can hear his steady breathing and feel his body's warmth, and although he feels a little silly for thinking like this, it seems like a miracle to him. He moves the fingers of his free hand to gently touch the tips of Aventurine's hair, finally admitting to himself that he has been curious what it feels like for a long time now. It is soft and thin, leaving a fine sensation on his fingertips, and he just knows that he will enjoy caressing and ruffling it frequently in the future.
Every time he turns his head to the side to watch the man next to him, he can even make out a faint hint of his scent. Right now, it is a mixture of his perfume, the snow and just Aventurine himself, and he finds himself liking this blend very much.
Apparently, the gambler has a light sleep, for he now sleepily opens his eyes: “Are you not going to sleep?” he mumbles, and Ratio feels caught red-handed.
“I will.” he reassures him, and Aventurine closes his eyes again and snuggles even closer to him.
“That’s good.” he murmurs, and Ratio thinks he is by then already closer to being asleep than still awake once again. “We have a lot to do tomorrow, you know.”
As much as he wants Aventurine to rest, his curiosity gets the better of him, so he asks: “Is that so?”
“Hmmm.” Aventurine hums. “You need to show me everything we can do in the snow. Snowman, snowball fight, I wanna try it all.”
At that point, he opens his eyes again, and they sparkle in excitement despite how sleepy he looks: “Oh, and do you have a sleigh? Please tell me you do have one!”
Ratio chuckles and places his index finger on Aventurine’s lips to calm him down a little: “You really love to play, don’t you?”
The accusation makes Aventurine blush a little, and he sounds pouty when he replies: “It’s just… everything is new and exciting right now.”
This time, it is Ratio who makes the move to kiss Aventurine.
“I understand that, because I feel the same.” he tells him when they break the kiss. “However, if we don’t try to get some sleep now, I’m afraid we will not even make it out of this bed tomorrow.”
The thought makes Aventurine laugh: “Can’t say I’d dislike this prospect either.” he admits cheekily, and Ratio finally gives in to his impulse to ruffle the man's hair to lovingly scold him for being the rascal he obviously is.
It takes some time, but they do calm down eventually, and in the end, Ratio still manages to get sleepy like this is not a completely new situation for him which overwhelms him just a little. Or actually, a lot.
Even half asleep, Aventurine still manages to stay chatty: “I’ll really try to sleep now.” he murmurs. “I definitely don’t want to miss a thing tomorrow.”
At that point, Ratio’s mind is also already more asleep than awake, so he is not quite sure what exactly Aventurine is referring to, so he just gently combs through his hair and replies: “Just sleep, gambler. The snow is not going anywhere, and neither am I.”
It seems to work. Aventurine nestles against Ratio's chest, and they fall asleep in each other’s embrace. The next morning, it needs the encouragement of the scent of his mother's strong coffee in their noses to convince them to finally get out of bed at all.
At the breakfast table, Callista looks at them with a happy smile: “To think that my stubborn son really found the right one for him! When you first told me about it during that party, I sincerely suspected you to just put on an act to avoid another blind date.”
At that, Aventurine almost chokes on his coffee. Ratio rubs his back to stop the coughing before he gives his mother an answer:
“Actually, I suspected the same when he first asked me for a date.” Ratio settles for a diplomatic reply. Worded like this, it is not really a lie.
“It's something you'll rarely hear me say, but I am happy that I was wrong.” he adds, and takes a close look at Aventurine next to him, who seems to be very flustered by now.
Later, when they are alone, the gambler thanks him for his reaction: “Thanks for not exposing me earlier. I would have been too embarrassed to ever look your parents in the eyes again.” he admits.
“You should not think of it like this.” Ratio tells him in return. “If it wasn't for your little game, we wouldn't be here right now, so it is me who has to thank you.
Aventurine gives him a smile and takes a step towards him to place his forehead on Ratio's shoulder, and the doctor is relieved that it has not taken him long to understand that this is his way of requesting a hug from him. He still feels a little helpless when it comes to all these displays of affection. This is so new to him, and he always fears to mess up.
By putting his arms around Aventurine now, he definitely does not mess anything up, for the man reciprocates the hug and quietly whispers into Ratio's ear: “This must be the first time ever I am happy a ‘game’ is over because reality is so, so much better than any thrilling gamble could ever be.”
Taking advantage of their size difference, Ratio presses a kiss onto Aventurine's head. When he thinks about his words, they make him happy, too. He has always been sure that the reckless gambler had been in need of something truly meaningful to fill a void in himself Ratio still knows very little about but is determined to find out more about. He would not have expected himself to be the one to be able to help fill this void, but if that is the case, he feels honored.
Funny enough, while the gambler of all people is glad about a game’s end, Ratio is happy that he was persuasive enough to make him join this game in the beginning. Dr. Veritas Ratio does not engage in games (the only exception to this rule being chess), and he definitely does not enjoy them. Looking back, this game had everything he despises: it was about concealing truths, deceiving people and playing with emotions, and it has made them both suffer unnecessarily. And still, Ratio does not regret playing along.
Some would argue that it was a detour, that the interest in each other had been there all along, and while he assumes that they are right - they definitely are for himself, and judging by the gambler’s words, he is no different - they fail to see the bigger picture: How would a man as devoted to science - and probably the least romantic person around - and a man as torn between his love for the next thrill and his terrified fear of losing yet another important thing find any mutual ground in their respective realities?
There can only be one answer: they wouldn't. So it is with conviction that he can now give Aventurine his answer: “I never believed in the concept of gamified learning, but I guess I have to re-evaluate my position. It worked pretty well for us, don't you think?”
It makes Aventurine laugh wholeheartedly: “You're unique, doctor!” he says, still chuckling. When he has calmed down, he places his arms around Ratio's neck and pulls him into another kiss. This time, it is less slow than the ones before. Bolder. More playful.
This playfulness is also mirrored in his eyes when he breaks the kiss and looks at Ratio from up very, very close: “If you like the concept, I think I might have some more ideas on games I'd like to show you.” he teases, and even with his lack of… intersocial experience, Ratio gets exactly what he is hinting at.
A fine smile on his face, the doctor leans over and kisses Aventurine back, only to break the kiss when he feels how the gambler is getting eager: “Haste makes waste.” he teases him. “However, I'm looking forward to it - in the right place, at the right time.”
It seems to remind Aventurine of where they are - which, right now is in the snow in Ratio's parents’ dooryard - and he gives him an apologetic grin.
“I guess patience is a virtue I still need to learn, huh?”
Given his body's reaction to what the gambler just did, Ratio can only reply honestly: “Well,I fear that this time, I am not in the position to teach you.”
Ratio's parents always praise him for having been a good kid, but even a good kid is sometimes up to no good, so Ratio remembers exactly where the blind angles where his parents won't see them from the house are located. Without further ado, he grabs one of Aventurine's gloved hands and pulls him into one of those spots.
“Go ahead.” he encourages. “Show me whatever you wanted to show me with that tongue of yours just now.”
Aventurine does not hesitate to show him by pulling him into another, very passionate kiss - and by the aeons, this is addictive .
When they go back to the house a little later, the two of them do not look half as frozen as they should look like after such a long time out in the cold. Ratio’s father is looking up at them from his morning newspaper lecture with his eyebrows raised and his mother gives them an amused glance, but Ratio could not care less. This is no longer a game they are playing, so he is unwilling to behave like a diligent actor any longer. So, when Aventurine hesitantly grabs his hand under the kitchen table, he squeezes it back with firm determination. They may still be at the beginning of their joint path, they may even stumble and fall, but Ratio is absolutely sure that, in the end, everything will turn out just fine.
~~~
*
***
*
~~~
Bonus - Postface:
Meanwhile, Ratio’s parents when they are alone:
Clementius (wondering): How long did you say they have been dating? Whatever happened last night? They behave like they just had their first time?!
Callista (lovingly): You know our son is a little bit of a late bloomer when it comes to this. It’s really cute to see, don’t you agree? He reminds me of you back when we first met.
Clementius: coughs uncomfortably
Callista: giggles cheekily
Notes:
Thanks a lot to everyone who read this fic, I hope you enjoyed it!
I had a lot of fun writing this, and there was so much nice and encouraging feedback, thank you so much for this to every single one of you! ♥I do not only write for one fandom/ship, but if you want to talk or stay updated, you can find me here:
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