Chapter Text
Moiraine didn't know what to believe anymore. She had thought to know what right and wrong were. Despite the massive headache, she could tell the difference between reality and Lanfear's dream version. But now?
Lan's words had made her insecure. The First Oath should stop her from lying. The daughter of the night surely didn't lift the Three Oaths to create that world. So, how could she decide what was right and what was wrong?
After she had finished the soup and a slice of bread – the man from the Borderlands hadn't given up until she had tried to eat and had been very pleased when she emptied the entire bowl before his eyes – a maid had appeared, asking if she should help the Cairhien woman to clean herself before going to bed.
It was then that Moiraine remembered what marriage meant. She was married to Lan, so they shared a bed together – every night. How often had the other Moiraine and he bedded each other? Would he expect her to bed him?
But apparently, she had been worrying for nothing. This version of Lan was as carrying as her own. Immediately, he had noticed her rising panic and had assured her he would sleep somewhere else for the night. According to him, Lord Agelmar needed him to look at some plans that would keep him awake for a while.
The Aes Sedai couldn't say how much of his words had been true or if he had just wanted to calm her. Nonetheless, she had been thankful for him not pushing her into a situation she couldn't handle at the moment.
Shortly after the maid had been sent away, Lan had excused himself for the night. Love had filled Moiraine's heart when he had asked if he could give her a kiss on the forehead. It had been such a sweet gesture. For a moment, she had been tempted to tell him he didn't have to sleep somewhere else. They had shared a bed countless times over the last twenty years, and nothing had happened.
But in the end, she had decided against it. First, she had to deal with her confused mind before she could handle Lan. Nonetheless, she had accepted the kiss on the forehead, which filled her with a warmth she had been missing since she had left bed that morning.
All of that had happened hours ago. Moiraine's thoughts hadn't stopped since then. A maid had brought her a fresh pot of tea, but other than that, she had been left alone. Yet, she was no closer to answering what was real or a lie.
"I'm a'Lan Mandragoran's wife." Nothing happened. "I don't belong to this world." Again, the First Oath didn't stop her. Light, why could she say both, though one was obviously a lie?! It made no sense to her!
Frustrated, the Cairhien woman snuggled deeper under the blanket. The head injury was still bothering her. She was tired and exhausted, and her head was spinning. That whole situation made no sense.
Luckily, sleep greeted her quickly, allowing her to escape into the darkness.
When Moiraine opened her eyes, she was relieved her head had stopped hurting. The pain had driven her crazy. Luckily, some sleep had helped to clear her mind.
Yawning, she stretched her aching body. It was never a good idea to fall asleep sitting in a chair. At least, she had been smart enough to close the book before she had given in to sleep. Otherwise, the pages would have stuck to her cheek now.
Blinking, the Aes Sedai read the title before her. The Karaethon cycle. How many times had she read it by now? Over and over again, each time hoping it would tell her something new.
A scream echoed through the air, and Moiraine winced. Someone was in pain, and the voice sounded familiar, though she couldn't remember hearing such a sound before.
Quickly, she jumped to her feet and started running through the corridors. Again, the scream appeared, and a shiver ran over Moiraine's back. What was going on? Did someone attack them? Shadowspawn? Whitecloaks? But the corridors were empty. Where was everyone?
Finally, she stepped outside and stopped dead in her tracks. The scene before her eyes made her shiver. Lan and the Emond's Fielder were tied to stakes. All of them were bleeding from countless cuts. The ground was covered in blood and looked like a butcher's yard. Moiraine's stomach was turning.
And then, Lan started to scream again. Never before had Moiraine heard him scream like that. The man from the Borderlands could endure a lot, and it felt unreal to hear him scream in pain.
Blood ran over his pants, and the Cairhien woman noticed a hole in his belly. Something invisible injured Lan!
Someone stepped out of the shadows. A man. He kept his back to Moiraine, focusing on the tied-up people. At first, the Aes Sedai didn't recognize him, and then she saw his red hair.
"Rand!"
How had she not seen it before? The Dragon Reborn had been the only one missing. Everyone else was tied to those stakes, but the redhead hadn't been there.
The young man from the Two Rivers moved a hand, and Lan's scream turned louder. More blood dripped on the ground. Finally, Moiraine understood why she didn't see a weapon. Rand used Saidin to hurt Lan!
"Rand!"
Quickly, the woman of the Blue Ajah embraced Saidar, then stepped closer. She had to stop the boy before Lan and the others died!
But Rand didn't turn around, nor did he stop at what he was doing. Did he even hear her? Well, Moiraine didn't have time to think about it too much. Time was of the essence. Siuan had shielded the boy twice in Cairhien. It couldn't be that hard to do it.
Her hands formed the necessary weave, then the Aes Sedai threw it at the Dragon Reborn. Sadly, her weave never reached the young man. A barrier blocked her weave, turning it into thin air.
Surprised, the Cairhien woman stepped closer. Was that the reason why Rand hadn't heard her? Did he shield himself and his prisoners?
Moiraine created a new weave to break the barrier, but it was useless. The new weave dissolved like her shield before. She would need a stronger attack.
"You didn't think it would be that easy, right?"
Lanfear stepped out of the shadows with a big smile on her face.
"Lanfear!"
Moiraine still embraced Saidar, but the Forsaken didn't look worried. Why wasn't she reaching for Saidar?
"I have to thank you, Moiraine." Lanfear wanted to thank her? That couldn't be good. What did the daughter of the night do? "Once you were out of the way, it was easy to turn Rand to the dark. The boy is in love with me, and I just needed one night to convince him." The Forsaken let her hand move over her breast down to her core, smiling wolfishly. "Or rather, my body convinced him. He is so good at what he is doing. Have you ever considered bedding him to tie him closer to the light?"
Angrily, the Aes Sedai created ice daggers out of water, but the Forsaken flicked once, and something hit Moiraine hard in the belly. Saidar slipped through her fingers before she could finish her weave. Gasping, she stumbled backward. Light, that hurt!
"But Rand was so lonely, so I allowed him to try turning his friends and your Warder to the dark. Who do you think will succumb to Rand's treatment first?"
Moiraine's eyes flicked to Mat just when the sheepherder freed his childhood friend. Once the ropes were gone, Mat kneeled at Rand's feet, kissing the back of his hand. The Cairhien woman didn't understand what he was saying but assumed the boy agreed to follow Rand's new way. Her lips turned into a grim line. Unlike the others, Mat had been drawn to the dark from the beginning.
"One down," Lanfear said, smiling. "Who will be next? One of the girls? Or your precious Warder?"
Furiously, the woman of the Blue Ajah grabbed the One Power and threw it at the barrier. She had to reach Rand to knock some sense into him!
Again, Lanfear flicked her fingers. A strong wind grabbed the Cairhien woman, lifted her off her feet, and knocked her against the wall. All air was pressed out of Moiraine's lungs, and for a moment, her vision blurred from the impact.
Then, the daughter of the night stepped before her, rubbing her nose over Moiraine's cheek. "You smell delicious," she said, humming contently. "Maybe I should try turning you to the dark. I can be very…" Lanfear's hands moved over Moiraine's body, touching her in places only Siuan had ever explored. "… convincing." The Aes Sedai shivered when the Forsaken's hot breath moved over her lips, then their lips touched.
Moiraine wanted to scream. Light, she wanted to slap Lanfear, followed by a hot bath to forget the unwanted touch! But she couldn't move. Lanfear's weaves kept her tied to the wall, damned to endure what the woman had planned for her.
So, instead, the Cairhien woman tried not to react at all. Hopefully, the daughter of the night would give up once… A muffled scream escaped Moiraine's lips when Lanfear parted her lips and pushed her tongue into her mouth. And as if that wasn't already enough, one of Lanfear's hands found its way between Moiraine's legs. What was happening?!
Another scream cut through the silence. Lan! The Aes Sedai's eyes turned toward her Warder. Apparently, the Dragon Reborn had focused on the Malkieri again. Cursing, Moiraine fought against her restraints. She had to help her Warder!
"I guess Rand chose your Warder to be turned next. Will he give up, or will he die from Rand's treatment?"
Moiraine knew she should be happy that Lanfear had stopped working on her and had faced the prisoners, but her thoughts were with Lan and his fight against Rand's torture. How much longer would he be able to resist? How much more pain could he endure?
"Let them go, Lanfear."
"Rand is lonely. I can't take them from him."
"You want revenge? Fine, here I am. Let Lan and the others go. You have me. Do whatever you want to do, but let them leave."
Smiling, the daughter of the night stepped before the Cairhien woman, kissing her again. "Don't worry, little Aes Sedai. I will play with you when the time is ready. For now…" Lanfear stepped closer to the barrier. "… I will help the Dragon Reborn to turn his prisoners to the dark, and you will watch us – unable to use Saidar to save them."
"No. Lanfear, you're mad about me, not them. Leave them alone."
But the Forsaken winked contently. "Feel free to scream your lungs out. We won't be able to hear you on the other side of the shield. I'll return for you once we're done. Enjoy the view."
Moiraine opened her mouth to protest, but Lanfear was quicker. Without waiting for a response, the daughter of the night stepped through the barrier, leaving a cursing Aes Sedai behind.
Screaming, the woman of the Blue Ajah ripped at her restraints, but it was useless. Lanfear was stronger than her. The weaves stayed while she was damned to listen to Lan's painful screams.
"Moiraine."
Surprised, the Aes Sedai stopped struggling. Who was calling her? There was no one there. Only Lanfear, Rand, Lan, and the other Emond's Fielder.
"Moiraine!"
The louder that other voice became, the quieter Lan's screams turned. It was like all sounds suddenly seemed quieter to Moiraine's ears. Was that another trick from Lanfear?
When Moiraine noticed the scene before her turned darker, she embraced Saidar. She had to break free. She had to save Lan and the others!
"Moiraine, wake up!"
The darkness swallowed her, and Moiraine fell.
"Moiraine, wake up!"
Someone shook her gently like he was scared to hurt her. Gasping, the Cairhien woman opened her eyes. Lan was there, leaning over her. He had grabbed her arms and sighed, relieved when she looked at him.
"There you are."
But Moiraine still had Lan's screams in her ears and saw the blood flowing down his body. Lanfear had tortured the Malkieri! Quickly, the Aes Sedai threw her Warder on his back, ignoring the pain exploding in her head and examining his body for injuries. Who healed him? Who took care of his injuries?
"Moiraine, stop. What are you looking for?"
The uncrowned king of Malkier placed his hands over hers. Moiraine tried to free herself when she noticed a golden shimmer. It came from a ring on Lan's hand. A golden ring with no symbols on it. His wedding ring.
"No."
"Please. Tell me what you're looking for so I can help you."
It wasn't over. She was back in that strange world where nothing was right. Why was she back?
"I'm back." Her voice was barely audible.
"You had a nightmare, my love. It's over now."
Trembling, the Cairhien woman crawled backward. Away from the Malkieri. Away from her so-called husband. Why was she there again?
"Why am I here? I was back home."
"This is your home, Moiraine." Lan sounded sad.
But Moiraine shook her head in denial. "No. This isn't real. Lanfear created this to keep me occupied so she can manipulate the Dragon during my absence." Her eyes fell on the door. "I have to leave. I have to return to my world."
The Cairhien woman crawled out of bed before the Malkieri could stop her. Sadly, that body was still not healed. Her feet barely carried her when they touched the floor, and the pain in her head made her lightheaded. The room moved slightly, but Moiraine couldn't wait for it to stop.
Swaying, she made her way toward the door. There had to be a way out of that nightmare. Maybe if she walked through that door, she would wake up in her world – in her own body. She couldn't stay there!
Moiraine cursed when she stumbled over books, clothes, pillows, and countless other stuff. Why was that room such a mess? Who did that?
"Moiraine, stop." Lan appeared by her side, wrapping an arm around her waist to steady her and grabbing one of her arms. "You're in no condition to leave bed, let alone to walk around in nothing but your nightgown."
"Let go of me. I need to return."
"You're home. You don't have to go anywhere."
"This isn't real!"
"You had an accident and nightmare. You need to rest." Gently, the Warder tried to pull his Aes Sedai back toward the bed, but Moiraine fought against him with all the strength left in her body.
"You don't understand! She tortures them!"
Confused, Lan furrowed his forehead. "Torture? Who tortures who?"
"Lanfear! She tortures you – my Lan – and Nynaeve and Egwene and the others! I need to help them!"
Lan shook his head. "Oh, Moiraine. Maybe I should send a letter to the White Tower. It's probably better if an Aes Sedai checks on you. Somehow, we have to restore your memory."
He wouldn't let her leave. If that version of Lan behaved like her Warder, then he wouldn't let her out of his sight. Worse even, he would put guards before the door to keep her from wandering around alone.
Angrily, Moiraine embraced the One Power. If she couldn't convince Lan, she would have to use Saidar to get rid of him. Her Lan was in danger, and the Dragon Reborn had turned to the dark because of Lanfear's influence. What else would the daughter of the night do to her world while she was gone?
"Stop."
Lan grabbed her hands, breaking her concentration. Shocked, Moiraine looked at him with big eyes. How had he noticed she had tried to channel? This wasn't real, so he wasn't bonded to her. Only the real Lan could feel when she tried to channel.
"You already turned this room upside down during your nightmare. Besides, Saidar won't help you. You're confused due to your injury, but we will fix this."
"No."
Luckily, the man from the Borderlands had loosened his hold on her for a moment, and the Cairhien woman used the opportunity to break free. Since she knew she was too weak to push him away, she did the only thing she was able to do, using her knee.
Lan groaned in pain when her knee hit the sensitive spot between his legs, then sank to his knees. That should stop him long enough for her to escape.
"I'm sorry." He wasn't her Lan, yet it hurt her to see him in pain, especially since she had caused it. "You'll thank me when you have your Moiraine back. But I'm not her."
"Moiraine, don't." His voice wasn't louder than a whisper.
Quickly, the Aes Sedai turned around and rushed to the door. Her head was pounding painfully, and her feet dared to give way any second. Yet, she moved onward. She just had to reach that door. Maybe that was the answer to that nightmare. One door, and she would be back…
But when Moiraine opened the wooden object, she could see a corridor. It wasn't the right door. Apparently, Lanfear didn't play easy. The way out of that world was somewhere else.
Sadly, the corridor wasn't the only thing waiting behind the door. Two guards secured the room and turned their heads toward Moiraine when the door opened in their backs.
"My Lady?"
"Are you alright?"
Blood and ashes! Obviously, Lan had been careful, not trusting her not to leave the room without him. How should she escape when they guarded the door?
Lan's painful groan gave Moiraine an idea. She took a step back, then pointed at the Malkieri on the floor. "He needs help. He isn't feeling well." As hoped, the guards stormed inside to help the hurt Malkieri.
The Blue Ajah woman didn't wait for her plan to succeed. The door was unguarded, so she ran.
"Moiraine!"
"My Lady!"
She ignored Lan's plea and the guards. A door. All she needed was the right door to escape. But which one was it? She didn't have time to use every door that… Four strong hands grabbed her arms, ending her escape shortly after it had begun.
"No!"
"My Lady, you're in no condition to walk around without company."
"Let go of me!"
"Our Lord and the Healer ordered us not to let you leave until they think you're better."
"Let go! I don't belong here!" Screaming, Moiraine fought against the guard's hold, but they acted like they didn't notice her resistance. Calmly, they carried her back to the room like she didn't weigh more than a child.
"Help! Somebody, help me!" Where was everyone? Where was that maid from earlier? Why was no one coming to help her?
"My Lady, please stop. You'll wake everyone."
Wake everyone? Moiraine's eyes moved to the windows. Surprised, she realized it was still dark outside. How long did she sleep?
"Put her on the bed."
Lan was back on his feet, though he still wore a grimace. He stepped out of the way, giving the guards room to carry her to the big bed.
"No!"
Moiraine tried to kick the two guards, but they simply lifted her up in the air so she couldn't hurt them. At least, the one who grabbed her legs seemed embarrassed since he had to touch her bare legs.
"Be careful with her head. She is still injured."
"When will the Healer arrive, my Lord? She won't stay in bed if we don't hold her down."
"I'll take care of her." Although the man from the Borderlands still had to be in pain from the previous attack, he crawled into bed and placed his large body beside the Cairhien woman. "Let go of her."
"Are you sure? She is extremely… brisk."
"Leave her to me."
The two guards hesitated to release Moiraine, but the look in Lan's eyes must have convinced them ultimately. Of course, Moiraine tried to channel the second she was released, but Lan was still faster. His arms were wrapped around her before Saidar even had the chance to fill her veins.
"Let go!" He was too close. Why couldn't he understand that she wasn't his Moiraine?
Since she couldn't use her arms to free herself, the Cairhien woman only had her feet to use. Sadly, the Malkieri seemed to know what she wanted to do before she had a chance to actually use them. His legs intertwined with hers, so she couldn't move them.
"Stop, please." Lan's hot breath tickled her ear and made her shiver.
Blood and ashes! What should she do now?